#it was part of me
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filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^
#THIS TOOK ME FOREVER RAAHHHH#i had help from my mom with stuff like the parts of the traje de mestiza which is the outfit shes wearing#this trend looks so much fun and i wanted to join in.. im first gen canadian though so ive never been to the philippines and only#know thru stories of my parents growing up. im proud of my heritage but there are some things i didnt grow up with that#make me feel disconnected from my culture. so it was nice to talk to my mom abt it and ask for her help with this :3#the pleated tapis is meant to resemble her skirt.. i had no way of adding her stockings but i noticed the piano key design#so i used that for the saya. the bandana is meant to resemble her hairties and shes wearing bakya wooden slippers with embroidery#i kinda wanted to add the panuelo to resemble her tie as a finishing touch but i forgor ;w; just imagine it i guess#my mom really likes this. shes a little confused abt the blue hair and i had to explain her hair is like that but she thinks shes pretty#originally i wanted her holding the woven pamaypay and fanning herself because ITS HOT ITS 25 FUCKING DEGREES TODAY#but i couldnt get the pose right so i settled for this. i wanna draw her and brazilian miku high fiving ill do that tmrw#my art#myart#hatsune miku#miku worldwide#philippines#vocaloid#miku
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[on the verge of having a complete breakdown] i need to make some kind of list or perhaps sort things into categories
#🌿 misc#idk how to tag this#i just love making lists#and sorting things into categories#pinterest#??#this is part of what motivates me to write i just love making lists of scenes and then sorting them into categories#bangers
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puppet hour was brutal
#this was a part of a comic i sketched as a warmup but it was too many panels so im posting this on its own#gravity falls#the book of bill#mabel pines#stanford pines#that one page gave me hope that ford trusts mabel and treats her better than he did in the show#cuz man it always made me so mad watching the show#like iknow its the point that ford thinks he and dipper are just like... better and smarter#not that he doesnt like mabel#but like idk!!!!! idk!!!!!!!!!!#the book of bill is redeeming ford a bit 2 me
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THAT one's goin on the list too now!
#bg3#bg3 tav#bg3 the emperor#baldur's gate 3#i just got to this part again in my second playthru and it#makes me laugh every time like WHO do you think you're talking to??????#stelmane??????#i think the fuck NOT#8 int won't stop finch from being petty!!!#oc: finch#my art
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5 years ago, I was in Rehab.
10 years ago, I was watching my Potential and Opportunities dissolve and evaporate in an ocean of cheap gin and expensive whiskey.
But 5 years ago, I was in Rehab.
One of the exercises they had us perform was to imagine ourselves happy, 5 years in the future.
Many of us in that room had forgotten how to imagine nice things happening to them. A few snorted (well, I snorted), finding the notion that we’d even still be around in 5 years grimly humorous.
For about half of us, it was the last stop on the way down.
But I indulged the therapist. I was there, after all, because I did not want to die. So, I imagined myself, 5 years hence.
Happy.
It came to me all at once; an artistic remix on Norman Rockwell’s Freedom From Want, reframed with myself placing food at the table.
Sunday Dinner At My Place, I answered, when it came my turn to share my fantasy. I was asked what food I imagined eating.
It’s not the meal itself, I said, it’s the implications framed around it. Sunday Dinner At My Place means that I have a Place. It means that I have Family that will actually speak to me and friends who actually want to see me. It means money enough not just to feed myself but others too. It means having the time to spare to take the time preparing the meal.
A lot of nodding heads all around me. A struck chord. Many people with no Place, in that place. Nowhere that would lament their leaving.
5 years hence, as I lay down to sleep in my Home, with my Wife and my Son, surrounded by my Art and my Flowers, I reflect.
It was a long road. It was hard. We lost people. So many people. There were long days and long nights and hospital stays. Angry arguments with ghosts. I changed, in ways I never hoped for, or expected. Good ways, finally, for once. Slowly, against the backdrop of a world in chaos, I found my mind.
Sometimes, My Wife wondered aloud, what she did to deserve me. After some stumbling with my feelings, I eventually settled on an answer.
I’m a Rescue.
She gave me a Home.
And, so, I gave her a Family.
It seemed fair
This Sunday, my folks, which whom I have not had a shouting match in years, will come over for dinner. We will cook and eat together. My Friend became My Wife, and she took a piece of me and with it she made Our Son. There will be many hugs, and no violence. Good Things Happened.
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t know what the future holds.
don’t give up yet, ok?
It could get good, even.
#troglodyte thoughts#tales from Real Life#cw addiction#cw alcohol#sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an approaching train#run#fight#hide#SURVIVE#do not go into the light#there are unpet dogs#and unhugged children#and unseen sunsets#and maybe even love#even for a wretch like me#the best part of your life might be old age#you don’t know
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#i’ve been thinking abt that cringe post#i think the latent feelings behind ‘cringe’ are shame and sometimes envy/bitterness#same vibes as when six year olds say ‘those toys are for babies’ if they’ve been shamed for their age by older kids#anyway. i think part of the healing process is realizing that shame puts you at war with yourself bc part of yourself is a social being!#and that part of you wants community and acceptance (maybe love). shame is the absence of acceptance#unlearning shame means learning self-love and gaining the confidence to find your people#jerma#cw jerma#(someone asked me to tag lol)
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I need non autistic people to realise meltdowns are a real debilitating thing that has a serious effect on your mental and physical health NOWWWWW!!! The way its been trivialized and lessened pisses me the fuck off. It's not a tantrum and it doesn't come from "being too weak-willed" it's painful and it's embarrassing AND MOST OF ALL IT'S INVOLUNTARY!! Don't claim to be an ally to autistic or disabled people and then make fun of people who have meltdowns. Literally get the hell out of my sight
#i can't believe i have to day it but autism /is/ a disablity. its disabling. meltdowns are part of that.#'oh this is a lukewarm take' you dumbshit fucks have been throwing the word neurodivergent and meltdown around so#casually they have both been said at me with the same disdain as a swear word. you guys will accept making fun of autistic people#if someone jn your circle who is 'cool' does it first. at your big ages. shut the hell up
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sometimes I randomly think about the time a girl posted in this girls only Facebook group I’m in telling everyone how she broke up with her boyfriend and he lied saying that he lost the spare key she gave him, only to then break into her apartment when she wasn’t home and steal the cat they’d adopted while they were together, but then he denied having done this and she didn’t really have proof that he took the cat since he wouldn’t let her come into his place and look for it. And then another girl saw this post and knew her ex-boyfriend, and she was like “girl. I used to hook up with your mans back in xxxx and I still have his number. If you want, I’ll hit him up and get him to invite me back to his place and see if your cat’s there.” And the OP was like “bet.”
So this woman hit up homie dog, asked him out for drinks, went home with him, slept with him, and then woke up in the middle of the night and TOOK THE CAT. Like she had only said that she would confirm if the cat was there but then she took it upon herself to steal this woman’s cat back. Like she full on Trojan horsed this man and then hit up homegirl like “I got the goods. Where you wanna meet.” And then the two of them posted a photo of them together with the cat to the group.
And I just think women supporting women is so beautiful.
#the best part of all is that I also knew the ex boyfriend because he worked at this place my friend was the manager of#and I texted my friend like ‘yo have you heard about this cat situation’#and she was like ‘I swear to god if one more person asks me about this fucking cat’#it was the drama of the century#the whole city was up in arms over this cat
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autumnal chill....featuring the girl
#my art#oc#svanhildr#furry#anthro#goat#almost typed ''featuring the girk''#my favourite girk of all time baby#this took an INORDINATE amount of time but also i was experimenting with style so maybe it's somewhat ordinate#i did the brush/texturing too small but it looks nice when you zoom in on some parts#and i finally have a decent twitter banner so small mercies#anyway summer kind of sucked this year - not much warm weather. better than last year but still pretty bad#hopefully september comes in clutch with some last minute sun. so i can appreciate the autumnal chill more when it comes#also scrumping season is coming to a close and i regret not eating more greengages when i had the chance...they rotted off so fast#apple season save me. save me apple season#illustration
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Saw someone on twt say they wanted to see Percy drawn like Yusuf Dikec and I couldn't help myself
#My art#Critical Role#Critical Role fanart#Vox Machina#Percy de Rolo#I have not drawn CR fanart in a hot minute but that tweet activated me like a sleeper agent#Also I think I got the little lore stuff right? I almost put Whitestone on the shirt but I looked and Whitestone becomes part of Tal'Dorei#So I think this is technically more right#Someone correct me if I'm wrong and I'll change it. because it WILL bother me if I'm wrong#Edit: I decided it's fine as is#Unless god himself (Matthew Mercer) comes down and tells me how the Olympics would work in Exandria I'm leaving it like this
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FNAF nightmare foxy is a huge fan of Roxanne Wolf,,
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#roxanne wolf#nightmare foxy#security breach#fnaf 4#this is based off images from pax#where the Roxy performer met a nightmare foxy cosplayer#super cute had to draw a lil something for it!#trust me all foxys love Roxy#it’s by law my source is trust me#I wanna believe foxy would see Roxy as part of their group#almost like the collective daughter of them#not to mention I think Michael Afton likes Roxy#and to me nightmare foxy is just a reflection of Michael#SO CHECKS out he’d like her too#she’s the IT girl she’s the greatest
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10 years later
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushi#itafushikugi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#least heterosexual group photo ive ever drawn tbh#u have the kings of subtle pda and their judgy lesbian third wheel#this does remind me a lot of the kind of art i used to do jhgdjghdfj#specifically that one furuba main trio piece i did forever ago. same vibe better art#anyway......i tried my best........ i tried so hard#i do not know how old they look . the goal was 25/26 but atp i've gaslit myself into thinking they look the same#especially megumi im so . throws hands in the air in defeat#but idk what else i can do cries at least i like it??? i think???????#i don't know!!! if they look younger than 25 whatever!!!!!!!!#why is it so hard fr me to make chars look older im gna slam my head against the door#maybe its fine. idc <- (lie)#in other news itfs are married fight me abt it . yuuji rockin the right hand ring fr Lack Of Finger reasons#also i am Eating nobara's fit . she might also look a bit younger than intended the more i look at her gDI why cant i have nice things#new hairstyle carrying tbh. i think she would a. grow it out and b. switch the side she parts it on to make Seeing easier#god just take it all tht really matters 2 me is low pony nobara and Rings On Fingers itfs#i did my time in yoi i know how to make wedding bands Work
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🚨⚠️MHA CHAP. 430 SPOIL⚠️🚨
(under the cut)
I'M ABDOLUTLY NOT OKAY WITH MHA ENDING.
Like- I'VE GREW UP WITH IT ! I MADE MY WHOLE UNIVERSE AROUND MHA IN MY HEAD ! FOR YEARS !
When i was trying to lose weight or do sport (which i hate) i was always thinking about mha to motivate me, i was listening to the ost, always saying things to myself like "think about Ochaco or Izuku or whatever...
It was my source of inspiration !
And now it's the end ? No no i can't take it... my first cosplay was an MHA one, my best cosplay is an MHA one, i need MHA to function 😭
It can't just end like this ! I need more !
I mean- wdym Izuku's quirkless again ? Wdym now he don't see class A anymore because their schedules doesn't match ?? Wdym Toga's fcking dead ?! Wdym we don't see their WHOLE 3 YEARS of study at UA ? Wdym we don't see their life as adults now ??
Like.. i'm so sad, i'm devastated 😭 i need to talk about it with someone 😭
#not snz#like- why ?!#i'm scared to be part of those considered “cringe” obssessional fans#but i'm just so sad 😭#it was part of me#i was always hyped when it was about MHA#it always made me smile#or cry#or felt many different emotions#and now it's finished 😭
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Hey now, Let her cook!
#dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#senshi#laios touden#marcille donato#izutsumi#oyasumi punpun#<- In case you are wondering what the source for the little bird guy is.#Yeah that's right. I'm back to my extremely obscure crossover BS.#Punpun is one of those series that falls under the category of 'Good! but I cannot responsibly recommend this to anyone."#If Dungeon Meshi is like a friend asking you to go on a quick errand and you accidently go on a life changing roadtrip -#Punpun is your friend asking to go on a quick errand and they pull up to the vet and tell you your dog is being put down.#Then they explode into sludge. Melting your car. You hitchhike back but the person who picked you up is an axe murderer.#I could not finish it. My friends who did say it was good. But agree it was for the best I did not finish it.#Hey speaking of tone twists...We are one episode away from one of my favourite chapters being animated!#WHO'S READY FOR THE SENSHI BACKSTORY! WHO IS READY TO CRY!#ME! I AM! I spooked my flatmate with how energetic I was this morning. I'm vibrating with energy I was not designed to contain.#I should talk about today's episode here: It was very good. I love how they animated the familiars.#And!!! Anime only people now are in the loop on the Chilchuck lore. Part 1 of many. He still contains multitudes.#They all do to be honest! If this episode told us anything it was that we still don't know these characters as well as we think!#See you guys next week. I'll be inconsolable.
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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