#it was my inner conscience and curiosity

[hagenwo43]

More Wetsuit action?

[occamstfs]

Green Eyes of Envy

Adam finds a necklace that promises anything his heart desires and nothing does he desire more than a body no one could deny.

Vaguely Halloweeny possession story based on a well-trodden trigger! Twink -> Jock -> Bear(ish?) IQ drain/corruption. Don't forget to vote on my Viral Transformation Story poll, only one day left! Hope you enjoy! -Occam

As soon as he sees the necklace lying on the ground Adam throws it on. So far it’s another subpar night spent going home alone from the bar, at least if he nabs a cute accessory there’ll be something gained. After throwing it on, when there’s a sudden buzzing in the back of his head that’s increasingly approximating a voice Adam chalks it up to his conscience trying to speak up about his and promptly ignores it.

Once he arrives home and takes time to stare at the medallion dangling on his thin chest however, he finds the voice may well have been something external, something supernatural. As a voice resounds in his head that is clearly not his own, “Adam is it?” Concluding he’s already fallen unconscious, hopefully indeed in his home, or that he’s had far too much to drink tonight for him to remember whatever he’s about to get into he plays along. “Whazzit to ya-” Realizing just what a goldmine position it has found itself in, the presence within the necklace prepares to strike.

From the drunken grumblings made by the young man in their short time together there is clearly insecurity to pray upon, and his new owner seems adverse to caution. The being within the necklace feels close enough to gaining a physical form, a body, it can almost taste it. It cannot slip up this close to the finish line and must act swiftly and with care, “So Adam, I take it you did not fare too well in your night on the town?” 

The drunken Adam’s small hands suddenly grasp the chain and pull slightly, moaning incoherently all the while. Feeling the tug the necklace quickly speaks up once more, “Woah woah woah my dear, do be careful! If you allow me, I can help you achieve your wildest dreams!” Eyes suddenly grow deathly serious as he hears the metallic voice speak in his head, “you cuh- anythin-?” 

Calculating faster than a human mind can, the voice seizes on the curiosity, banking that whatever the drunk asks will indeed be in his purview, “Anything.” The hitherto thoughtlessly lolling mouth curls into a smirk and his mind dances with the possibilities, “Uhhhh, genie ruleshh, ish it?” 

The medallion somehow sighs not wanting to highlight the potential, or fact rather, that it’s going to twist the man’s wish to his own end but sensing its holder’s brain seems the type to rarely make a connection deeper than surface level it concludes it should be fine. “Sure, something like that.” The chain jostles on Adam’s thin shoulders as he shrugs, “whateva- can you jussht give me the body of a fuckin’ stud?” Perfect. Mission accomplished.

Adam’s eyes flash green as the medallion does similarly, connecting them and giving whatever surely sinister being lies within the small coin carte blanche. Speaking from a deeper foothold in Adam’s mind the voice gives the perfunctory warning that any act of magic requires, “Do be wary of course, the inner bits of yourself have a nasty habit of matching the outer changes.” Though knowing that it’s now only a matter of time before it’s in control it begins to reveal it’s less than amicable side, “though given how fast you let me in it seems your deep inner tapestry hasn’t all too much to lose.”

Treating the slight as if it were the annoying buzz of an insect flying around his head, Adam quickly ignores the voice altogether and pulls out his phone to hunt for the perfect body. Lucky for the spirit Adam was already beyond horny before the necklace even graced his neck, so it is not long before his envious eyes find a man enthralling. In no time at all Adam is halfway drooling as he stares at some influencer’s massive pecs. He’s doing some skit but Adam doesn’t hear a word he says, as he stares his desire proves enough tinder for the spirit’s work to begin on his body.

Adam’s eyes simply flash green and laughter fills his mind, just as muscle begins to fill out his chest. Having always made excuses to shy away from the gym for one reason or another Adam smirks as he gropes his growing pecs. Suddenly bursting from non-existence into the by far largest muscles on his body, eclipsing his ass and thighs in a manner that should not be possible. Nipples surge larger as a few thick curls begin to smatter themselves across the burgeoning pecs. Nails scratching into the soft muscle Adam smirks as he imagines that no matter how hard he tries from here on out he could never hide these powerful pecs.

Emerald shade clearing from his eyes the aftereffects of his proud new chest are less than apparent. Rather than any grand changes to the horny drunk’s personality, the spirit simply allows the current drunken recklessness to seep in deeper. Suddenly the type to never back away from challenges even in a sober state, Adam smirks as he imagines all the heads that will turn when he gets a chance to show off his bulky new pecs. Though despite how impressive they are, they can’t be the only brawn on his body hm? Before the spirit even has a chance to seed the desire for more changes, Adam himself hungrily returns to the hunt for his own aggrandization.

Only having just faded back to his natural eye color his eyes quickly shade a darker green than even that of the medallion as Adam stares at the arms of a gymnast that pops into his feed. He clenches his jaw and reflexively flexes his arms as his weak biceps suddenly surge with the strength of someone who has spent a lifetime working towards his own betterment. He smirks as veins bulge down his biceps as his own laughter resounds even louder than that of the spirit in his own head. Forearms and triceps suddenly hold strength that hasn’t a hope to reasonably wield. 

Adam’s eyes then trail from the impressive arms towards what he always paid more attention to when the gymnast was trending, the man’s thick pits. Instantly does intense itching begin in Adam’s armpits. They burn with pleasure as a forest begins to surge outwards, growing thicker as he desires to be more than any man that pops onto his screen. The few hairs painting his chest rapidly expand in kind to compete with the dank jungles that now thrive and drip with sweat under his arms. Sitting there smirking as he tears his eyes away from his phone to delight in his new beyond hairy pits as rivers of musky sweat begin trickling down his bulging pecs and thick biceps.

Suddenly having the upper body of an Olympian, Adam’s mind grows foggy with a pride even greater than the sum of his impressive parts. Bouncing his pecs for the first time while doing a double bicep flex, Adam is filled with lust for his own form and a growing confidence that already no man could ever possibly resist him. He grunts and notices that his neck has similarly grown thicker, his voice resounding deeper as an adam’s apple bulges onto his previously smooth neck. Moaning as he takes a deep breath and enjoys his new heady musk, he feels his mind start to drift away from the pursuit of perfection and to instead just give in prematurely to hedonism as his larger hands inch towards his crotch. 

Before getting the chance the voice returns and whispers like a snake, “ahh ahh ahh Adam… We are not complete yet.” Looking down at his lower body he shakes off his horny delirium and agrees, rapidly returns to the more than mindless scrolling, thankfully easily able to hold up against the whims of his still average cock. Adam again does not have to search long before his eyes land upon men he longs to be, to have, to be with. His eyes once more glow a searing Emerald, and the medallion scarcely lights up, at the sight of two specimens that alight more jealousy than anything yet.

Memories of his anxieties and self-doubt quickly vacate as confidence imbues every inch of him, staring at the thick thighs and powerful calves of the bodybuilders he feels his power and pride grow to new heights. Immediately sending tears down the ratty old skinny jeans he wore to the bar, thighs that make it immediately clear that their owner could break a watermelon between them surge into existence. Finally regaining their top spot as the largest muscles on the body they grow larger than his pecs before being similarly outmatched by his ass growing firm and flexing larger with each hungry glance at the two men.

Legs cramping outward the spirit within Adam feels his ability to control the man almost come to a head. Adam doesn’t notice as his fingers twitch and flex beyond his control nor does he care as his toes strain in the air as his feet inch larger. Why does it matter that his chest is flexing without being told, it’s hot, Adam surely meant to do that anyway. Looking down and inspecting his new form, concern slides off his mind anyway as he sees hair begin to increase across his chest, rapidly shooting down abs that he didn’t even notice forming. 

He plays with the forest of hair beginning to shadow the whole of his torso as he feels similar stubble being to scratch against his chin. Tilting his head, his foggy mind struggles to wonder how he’s still changing without looking at men like the medallion instructed. Looking at his reflection in the mirror and seeing the impossibly alluring figure he has become however he decides to not care what the stupid thing said anyway. He must have gotten what he needs from it already.

Thoughtlessly he removes the necklace and tosses it away having decided he’s more than enough man. Only then does his bulge begin to grow beyond what he has always known it to be. There’s a sigh of relief and anticipation as he realizes he almost missed a chance to grow his cock with whatever that coin did to him. Face and chest burning red with blush he forces his hand into his crotch and smirks as he feels his thick fingers begin to tangle in his new bush. His free hand still dances across the bounty of chest hair and his new mustache scratches against his shoulder as he bathes in the new musk that resounds from his pits.

Mind clouded from his changes, having far too much to drink, and the cocktail of new hormones issuing forth from balls rapidly filling his briefs, Adam pulls out his larger cock and begins to go to town. Experiencing the new heights of pleasure that his dream body allows Adam loses himself to new ecstasy. His cock stretches to a size that rivals the forearm of a lesser man and his balls race to match the size his impressive body warrants. If it weren’t for his hand slowing down its thrusts it’s likely that Adam would never notice what was to happen to him next.

His face moves in unfamiliar patterns as something besides him stretches it to understand how to control it. Eyes slam shut as far as they can and then reopen, and Adam suddenly realizes that he can no longer move them of his own volition, and yet he still sees. Staring out from eyes seemingly out of his control, Adam feels his mouth smirk without instruction as a voice he has barely gotten the chance to use spills out from his thicker lips, “Well well young Adam. Excellent work thus far, think I’ll take over from here though lad.” 

Adam struggles for dominance as he finds himself but a voice in his own head, watching his new fingers dance at the end of powerful arms he scarcely had time to appreciate. He feels them flex and struggles not to give in to the delight of the power and continue fighting. Feeling himself not totally lost he endeavors a hail mary and focuses all his attention to the one thing that has always been able to override his mind in the past. His balls churn and his cock bounces as even whatever clearly powerful spirit now controlling his form is unable to resist his rising lusts. The need for release that suddenly blares through every sweaty inch of his skin and the being totally not used to self-control or human weakness struggles to not give in.

The spirit grunts as it remembers its tenuous position on reality, through its own suddenly clouded mind it goes into bargaining mode, struggling to stop their body from its uncontrollable thrusting into the air, “Ohh oh fuck okay, another deal. I can’t- We can’t cum yet or grgh- Please not yet!” Adam grinds the well-trodden neural pathways of lust to a halt as he desires to hear the being out. To signal his willingness to play ball, as well as out of the hope Adam should be better at staying his hand from masturbation, it allows Adam full control once more. Adam does begin playing with his cock immediately, moreso from the ever-pressing desire to cum rather than intimidation at expelling the spirit though it works for both. 

The spirit somehow clears his throat within Adam’s head, “To level, I am in here now, for good. But we can work out an arrangement, we can share. You can fuck and frot whatever, but every so often I’ll need a chance at the wheel for my own, uhm ends. Worry not, if anything it’ll only amount to more pleasure for yourself!” Adam cups his larger balls and struggles to understand the implications of this agreement. He hasn’t the capacity to care that his intellect seems to have diminished as his body grew, in fact as clearly duller words spill out of his mouth it only turns him on more, “Uuhhh, so we’ll share my body?”

Somehow rolling eyes he doesn’t have control over, the being realizes this must be a two way street and agrees, “Of course, you just let me do my thing and we’ll get along great.” Adam scratches his beard itching thicker and shrugs, “Sure dude, whatever.” At the lightest sign of agreement the spirit seizes control, too late does he realize his haste has caused him a misstep. Whether its his limited time in the corrupted mind of Adam forcing human err unto the spirit or simply from just how unprepared the spirit is to handle the overwhelming lust in Adam’s mind, rather than sharing control the two become irrevocably one in both body and mind. Whatever sinister priorities the spirit had rapidly shift to match the hedonistic needs of Adam. Rapidly fading into the bestial desire of Adam the spirit turns up its nose as it finds itself wanting to change their now shared form, “If we’re gonna share, uh bro, need a bit more space in here eh?”

With that, Adam’s eyes cross and he struggles to not burp as he feels his powerful form begin to bloat. His beard thickens as both minds become one and mass begins to pile onto his torso as abs grow into a bulky muscle gut underneath his still impressive pecs. Scratching his ass as it too grows a jungle of hair before going back to palm his cock, both minds feel sedated as they smell his thick musk and Adam can scarcely remember any priorities besides the all-important goal of seeking his own pleasure. 

To this end the pair find themselves awash in exploring their-his body, for countless hours of making a mess of his bedroom, living room, and kitchen Adam finally remembers that there is more to the world than his small apartment. There are more holes to explore than the few in himself and far more to see than the steamy videos he can pull up on his phone. Wiping drool off his face and crusted cum off his torso, something at the back of Adam’s mind itches as he feels there was something greater he was supposed to do, something he was supposed to spread or some control he was supposed to enforce. Giving his pits a good sniff he smirks before opining that perhaps there is no greater goal than spreading his own glory far and wide.

Quite the easy enough task as it runs out as whatever the spirit did before fading into but another aspect of Adam’s lusty mind gave him the ability to attract anyone to his cause. Rather than whatever dire cause intended, with the two totally merged the only purpose of his inhumanly alluring self is to spread pleasure. As soon as he steps out of his front door he finds men throwing themselves at him in droves. Jocks, twinks, and bears alike could not possibly resist the titan as he walks down the street, always shadowed by a heavy wave of his aphrodisiac musk.

Adam’s eyes glance across and stare through every man whose hungry eyes cannot look away, whose shoulders fly back in submission, whose noses lead them to trial behind him. While many of them get the chance to enjoy time with the inhumanly alluring man, only a few get to experience the truly rapturous experience of being changed by Adam himself. Only a select few find themselves molded into something greater than that they are when they first submit to Adam’s will. Though even a few is enough to spread and as time goes on the number of musky men wandering around could certainly become a problem. Lucky for the world perhaps, whatever cause the medallion held is long forgotten and the changed men yearn for no higher purpose than pleasure. And with the enhancements gifted by Adam, that is precisely what they find.

[webnovel-deluxe]

Isn't Being A Wicked Woman Much Better? Side Story Chapter 8

***

'Hmm. By the way, Michelle Granbert is more than a princess's friend... .'

I feel like an ardent believer.

During the battle with the Warlock, I lent her a joint doll to serve as a bait, so I thought she was pretty close to the princess, but Michelle's condition was a little different from being a friend.

“Wow, Princess. Doesn't my face look weird now? I’m so nervous.”

Michelle asked me about her condition with a pale face. Her clenched fists were trembling with tension from before.

“Originally, you’re on the white side, so you don’t look much different from usual. But, are you so nervous? ”

After all, Deborah is the saint who saved the empire.

The other day, there weren't many people who recognized her true worth, and she was with the devil, but after the battle, it was definitely felt that her followers increased.

“I really can't believe it. I didn't expect it, actually, I prayed, but I wasn't very lucky, so I never dreamed that I would be invited to this event. It is such an honor and thank you again, Princess.”

Michel Granbert, who was invited to this tea party due to the whim of the princess, had trouble sleeping from the day she was invited.

Everyone was envious of themselves attending a tea party with two celebrities from the Empire... . I never liked her because she was a saint!

Michelle took great pride in not being late.

'The owner of Armand, whom I had only vaguely imagined, was Princess Deborah! She even had a sublime side job of being a saint.'

Tea time with the person whom I admired enough to prepare a tribute to the doll to secretly present and even write an analysis thesis!

“You are a very successful person. It was good to be alive.”

Michelle was thrilled.

“But I didn’t know that you would be in front of the imperial family since dawn. Damn I came out early.”

“If you are late for even one second, it is a big deal. So, it is more comfortable to wait in the morning.”

“Huh, yes, that aside, I’ve been concerned about it since a while ago, but what did you have in your hand?”

“It's a script...”

“I don’t know why I need a script for the tea party, but I’m skipping this one, so what did I write down?”

The 5 princesses showed curiosity as they looked at the paper note that Michelle had been holding like a lifeline before.

“… Listen to what I have to say when we meet. this and that.”

“Can I see her?”

While Michelle was hesitating, the news came that the princess had just arrived in front of the Imperial Palace.

“Princess, I suddenly feel dizzy with my tongue…”

Suddenly, Michelle staggered and touched her forehead.

“Wake. You've been waiting since dawn If you fall down like this, you won't be able to see for even a second. ”

“I'll hold out.”

Michelle clenched her teeth and nodded her head resolutely.

Soon after, Princess Deborah appeared through the door, and Michelle managed to suppress the scream.

“How have you been, Princess?”

Princess Deborah greeted her with her characteristic cold expression. However, Princess 5 could now read the warmth in her eyes.

“Thanks to you.”

The two made eye contact and shook hands lightly.

“Did the princess do well too?”

“Yeah, thanks to the princess, I’ve been able to rest and have a good time.”

“But we decided to call each other names, Deborah.”

“It is, Vivienne.”

Seeing the two of them calling their names affectionately, Michelle rolls her feet and wanted to strengthen her feet.

'I'm so envious of you, Princess. I want to ask you to call my name so friendly! '

Although she was yelling out violently inside, Michelle, like a high-ranking nobleman, was adept at hiding her emotions.

“My Michelle, it’s been a while.”

Deborah greeted her, hiding her inner awkwardness.

In front of the company who wrote an analysis thesis about Armand and even promoted it as a five-star restaurant, I was a bit pricked in conscience because I pretended to know nothing about it and was hiding my identity.

In addition, to lure the 3rd Prince by boat, Michelle borrowed what he had, but he dropped the doll in the water and was unable to return it.

'I said in the first place that I don't have to give it back, but... .'

Since she's Princess Seymour, maybe she couldn't ask for the money back.

Deborah glanced at her, and Michelle barely raised her voice, her pupils trembling.

“Princess, it’s been a while.”

“Last time I suddenly asked you to borrow a doll for the boat, thank you for willingly allowing me.”

'It's just an honor for the princess to remember and even use my doll to do something big! Another honor! So there's no need to thank you with such a gracious attitude... Sobbing.'

However, Michelle could not utter the sentences that quickly passed through her head. It was because she was so crazy that her eyes became white as she got entangled with the lines of the script she had written in advance.

‘Just don’t prepare anything. '

“Michelle?”

The 5 princesses lightly called out to Michelle, who seemed to have forgotten how to breathe.

'I guess I'm a little uncomfortable.'

Deborah opened her mouth with a humble face, thinking that Michelle was having a hard time with her face just looking at her face.

“Seymour will surely pay you back. It will not be easy to find a work worth as much as a doll that you made, but I want to reward it.”

'uh? Wait, I guess it's time to spit out those lines?'

Michelle, who suddenly remembered a line from the script, managed to tear her lips apart.

“It’s a reward. Don't say that. I can feel the wall from the princess.”

“At first, my face was a little cold… .”

“...perfect”

“.....”

“.....”

The 5 princesses, who had been silent for a while in the difficult atmosphere, muttered painstakingly.

“Aha, perfection is a barrier.”

“… I'm just going home sorry!”

Michelle jumped up, dyeing her pale face like a ripe apple.

“hey!”

When she couldn't stand the shame and tried to run away, the silent princess suddenly covered her mouth and shook her shoulders.

Seeing her smile for the first time, Michelle relaxed her legs and sat down.

“ where is the handkerchief?”

Michelle mumbled gibberish.

“Why, you said you were getting dizzy from excitement earlier, but this time you look like you’re going to have a nosebleed?”

“no. Princess Deborah smiled, so the juice was splashing all the way here.”

“.....”

laughter means as fresh as fruit.

“You have to wipe… . ”

“… Would you like some tea?”

“Yes. sorry.”

“Until I’m sorry. It's just the head of the empire's best puppeteer... Hmmm, the sense of humor is just amazing. Every time you say something like a gem, it feels like you're facing the wall of another world. Absolutely perfect. ”

It didn't seem like a compliment for some reason, but Michelle was satisfied.

'I'm embarrassed, but it's okay because the princess smiled.'

Anyway, it was the script produced by this vain greed to spit out the memorable lines of the person I admire, but it worked.

'I got on.'

While Michelle dies inside, Princess Deborah raises the teacup with a smile on her face.

“The tea smells really good.”

“Yes, it is very good. ha… .”

“I brought the tea leaves my father loved, especially for you. If there is a wall that has remained for each other, even tear it down and sleep. Of course, it's not perfect. haha.”

“… I will never do that again... .”

“why? It’s fun.”

'They're both having a good time.'

The awkward spot was warmed up by Michelle's jokes, and Deborah sipping tea while listening to their chatter among her peers.

“Ah, princess. do you know that There is no purple amethyst these days, so I can't sell it. ”

“Purple silk and yarn are also trendy. I tried to wear all the dolls I own, but some were out of stock.”

“I am thinking of suggesting that sooner or later, the color of the imperial emblem should be changed to purple instead of blue sky.”

“What the hell… .”

Deborah was smirking inwardly, but, as always, her expression didn't show it well. And it gave the impression of being detached from popularity.

“cool.”

Michelle said first.

“Then, of course not. You are my girl.”

“......”

'They are really close friends.'

Deborah tried to ignore the twinkling gazes of the two of them, while involuntarily fiddling with her sweaty ring fingers. It was a habit that I suddenly developed as I recently wore my engagement ring every day.

And their eyes naturally stayed in the ring.

“Hmm. I heard that she was engaged to Princess Deborah and the Duke of Visconti. congratulations.”

“thanks.”

“I, that, by the way.”

Michelle shyly curled her lips and bit, then pulled it off.

“At the wedding, the… May I be your bridesmaid? huh, if there are any seats left.”

In Asteia, on the day of the wedding, four or five friends of the bride stood next to the bride holding flowers. It was one of the traditions that stemmed from the custom of protecting the bride from outsiders.

“I am unconditionally sitting next to the princess. Don't look too far, Michelle.”

“Still, the left side is empty.”

Deborah felt a strange feeling as she looked at the two of them fighting. She once said that she was the object of fear, and she didn't even have a young girl who made proper eye contact with herself... .

In addition to the two of them, Margaret and Arin came to me saying they wanted to have another bridesmaid. I've been busy with my life, but when I woke up, I was really surprised and happy that there were so many people congratulating me on my marriage.

The princess smiled softly as she slightly curved her sharp eyebrows.

'Ugh.'

His eyes were dazzled for a moment, and Michelle looked around his eyes... .

‘Isidor, you envious child. '

5 The princess seriously went to Isidor with the latest offensive magic tool collection and almost had a political battle.

Keep supporting me with like, comments & share. Your support encourage me to upload next chapter faster. Thank you.

[running2redemption]

Quiz Results: King Edition

Gee, Shace, how can you tell you have a new muse?

When I do a billion quizzes as them. Under the cut because I'm sure no one actually cares, but it brings me joy to record the results.

What color is your aura?

Ivory

lace, marble, china dishes, doves, paper, bones, vanilla shakes. your essence is ivory: you are a piece of history, sturdy and eternal. others believe you to be gentle; they don't see the pressure that is threatening to crack you. you seek control and organize your life into rows. you are the overseer. you are the porcelain. you find kinship in like-minded individuals of grey, noir, pearl, and ashen, who share the pressure you put on yourself. you are also drawn to the expressive rose and lilac, who will help you grow and learn that things will be okay even if they don't go right. however, you may struggle to get along with the indulgent personalities of sky and apricot who need too much stimulation and decadence.

What animal form would your daemon take?

Black Caiman

Your daemon would take the form of a black caiman! Those who have black caiman daemons are self-assured and patient people who put down deep roots and aren't easily perturbed. They have a protective heart beneath their tough exterior only their loved ones witness. Observant and prepared to take on anything, they have strong personalities that people love or hate.  You are a private and strong-willed individual who knows how to play to your strengths. Those with black caimans are quietly ambitious but know how to not bite off more than they can chew. They're incredibly confident in their area and know how to manipulate situations to their advantage.

Who's your Pokemon partner?

Cyndaquil

Well, would you look at that! It seems a Cyndaquil wants to be your partner! Cyndaquil, also called the Fire Mouse Pokémon, always stays hunched over to protect itself and will flare the flames on its back when threatened. Like most fire Pokémon, Cyndaquil are drawn to people who are enthusiastic and adventurous, though they are also known to be exceptionally devoted and withdrawn Pokémon. They make the perfect partner for trainers who are internal and impassioned and show their inner strength when it comes to the things they love being threatened. My friend, this marks the beginning of your and Cyndaquil's journey together. Welcome to the world of Pokémon!

What Kind of DND Character Would You Be?

Chaotic Good Half-Elf Wizard (6th Level)

Ability Scores: Strength- 15 Dexterity- 16 Constitution- 16 Intelligence- 17 Wisdom- 18 Charisma- 14

Alignment: Chaotic Good- A chaotic good character acts as his conscience directs him with little regard for what others expect of him. He makes his own way, but he's kind and benevolent. He believes in goodness and right but has little use for laws and regulations. He hates it when people try to intimidate others and tell them what to do. He follows his own moral compass, which, although good, may not agree with that of society. Chaotic good is the best alignment you can be because it combines a good heart with a free spirit. However, chaotic good can be a dangerous alignment when it disrupts the order of society and punishes those who do well for themselves.

Race: Half-Elves have the curiosity and ambition for their human parent and the refined senses and love of nature of their elven parent, although they are outsiders among both cultures. To humans, half-elves are paler, fairer and smoother-skinned than their human parents, but their actual skin tones and other details vary just as human features do. Half-elves tend to have green, elven eyes. They live to about 180.

Class: Wizards- Wizards are arcane spellcasters who depend on intensive study to create their magic. To wizards, magic is not a talent but a difficult, rewarding art. When they are prepared for battle, wizards can use their spells to devastating effect. When caught by surprise, they are vulnerable. The wizard's strength is her spells, everything else is secondary. She learns new spells as she experiments and grows in experience, and she can also learn them from other wizards. In addition, over time a wizard learns to manipulate her spells so they go farther, work better, or are improved in some other way. A wizard can call a familiar- a small, magical, animal companion that serves her. With a high Intelligence, wizards are capable of casting very high levels of spells.

[beomiracles]

「 CRIMINAL CONSCIENCE 」 tape 05

SYNOPSIS moving rapidly through your career as one of the leading female investigators, you never once encountered a case you couldn't crack. though you never expected for your past mistakes to come back and haunt you in the form of an ex lover, accused of murder.

wc -> 4.9k

pairings: criminal!beomgyu x investigator!reader warnings for tape 05: smoking, drinking, references to drugs, beomgyu gives off cheater vibes, mc is delusional what's new, public sex, unprotected sex, + a splash of fingering, creampie, cum eating, um yeah!

GENERAL WARNINGS ─ this story contains dark themes, portraying unhealthy and toxic relationships as well as substance abuse. PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK.

✎ NOTE, this story is partly told in flashbacks. beware of time stamps as present and past is mixed throughout the story.

#serene adds ✎... this was not meant to be this long (my target for cc is 4k per tape) but I have a severe case of getting carried away easily... and I've been cooped up in my room writing this all day... tomorrow I'll face the world a new person!

the tape recordings

tape 05 ─ Only You

February 20th 2024 – PRESENT TIME 

No matter how hard you tossed and turned, you did not get any rest that night. Your conversation with Beomgyu flashed before your eyes like images of a movie. Replaying itself throughout the night as you analyzed every single word spoken, every glance, every twitch of his eyebrow, the way his lips formed into a smirk. You shudder at the thought before turning on your stomach to bury your face in the pillow, getting ready to go through the events of last evening once more. 

“Yet you’re here.” — “But you shouldn’t be.” 

You shouldn’t be here, no. Seeing detained suspects like this, was most prohibited and it could quite frankly cost you your job; the job that you had worked so hard for. Were you really ready to give it all up in exchange for one private conversation with the man who quite literally ruined your life? — Bemogyu notices your inner struggle and his lips curl into a menacing smirk. “So why are you?” His question rings out in the silent air and you bite the inside of your cheek as you think of an answer. 

Patience was not something Beomgyu lacked and so he waited whilst you ran a hand through your hair, twiddled with the strands of your shirt, averted your gaze, glanced down the hallway anxiously, swallowed and cleared your throat. “I need answers.” You finally say, your voice is thick and laced with an underlying worry but your posture remains stoic as you hold his dark gaze. 

Beomgyu lets out a small huff as he shakes his head lightly, “I thought that was what our sessions were for, no?” He shoots you a confused look but you can see the curiosity shining within his eyes, the way the wheels in his head turn as he tries to figure out what exactly you had come for. — You shake your head, “it is not the kind of answers I want.” 

There’s a sudden glint in his gaze as he cocks an eyebrow at you, “something you can’t share with that colleague of yours, hm?” — “Something that doesn’t concern him.” You state, pressing your lips into a thin line. Beomgyu hums as his fingers trail the outline of the small window and you find your eyes lingering on the metal rings around them. “Well go on then, you have never been one to shy away from asking questions, dollface”, he smirks. 

During the last ten months you had countless times imagined what it would be like to come face to face with him once more, to be able to ask the hundreds of questions soaring through your head almost everyday. But as you stand before him, you suddenly find it hard to sort through the mess that was your mind. Unsure of where and how to start, you fumble for words. 

“That night…” you begin, your voice suddenly feels hoarse and your throat thick. Beomgyu tilts his head to the side as he waits for you to continue, seemingly aware of the night you’re referring to. “You did not come after me.” You draw in a short breath as your gaze remains locked with his curious one. “Why didn’t you?” 

He studies you for a moment, and suddenly you worry that he might not give you an answer at all; you knew that he was good at avoiding questions. “Did you want me to?” He returns your question with one of his own and you frown. Did you want him to? No. Yes? Back then you feared that he would, but when he didn’t… “It does not matter if I wanted you to or not.” You say as you fold your arms across your chest. “Why didn’t you?” You repeat your question, determined to draw an answer from him. 

The smirk falls from his lip as his expression morphs into a grim one. “I read your note.” The silence following his words is palpable and you swallow a small gulp. You didn’t think that he actually did. You had only really left it there to soothe your own worries, you never imagined him actually…

Then the memories all came flooding back to you. The accident, the drugs, the note you had left in a hurry. The screaming and the crying, the rain and the wind, the cold. You blink, and as realization washes over you, you pull your gaze from his. — Growing doubtful of your decision to come here, you glance down the hallway. It had been a bad idea, you should leave, you should… Beomgyu’s hand in your hair causes you to freeze as your eyes snap to his outstretched arm. 

“Leaving so soon, dollface?” He mumbles as he takes a firm hold of your hair. Your gaze flickers between the door at the end of the hallway and his taunting expression. “I thought you wanted answers?” His voice is low as he studies you with a smug look, he had you right where he wanted you. “Let me go.” You whisper in an attempt to shrug his hand off. Beomgyu hums but the grip on your hair loosens as his fingers graze your cheek, the cold metal of his rings making you shudder. 

“I am many things”, he mutters as his fingers tilt your chin up, forcing you to face him. “But I am not that.” He lets go of your face as his hand is pulled back through the small window. You watch as he steps away from the door, and as he sits down on his bed you start to think that you might not get another word out of him. Letting out a short breath you didn’t even realize you were holding in, you study his seemingly relaxed frame with a frown. 

It is not until your hand reaches for the lock to the small window that he speaks again. “You haven’t told them what you saw.” He states in a monotone voice, his fingers busying themselves by twisting at his rings. You bite your tongue, not wanting to let on to more than necessary but Beomgyu beats you to it. “If you did, I wouldn’t be here right now.” He nods to himself as a small smirk etches its way to his lips. — He shakes his head as he chuckles. “Perhaps I was wrong about you, dollface.” He muses as his head turns to look at you. His gaze strays by your hesitating hand on the lock. 

“Just how deep does your loyalty run?” 

April 29th 2022 

“Come on, please.” Kayla’s voice pleads on the other line. Pushing your phone to your ear with the help of your shoulder, you continue to wipe down the table you had previously cleared. “I don’t know, there’s just so much coursework and then I’m working again tomorrow afternoon”, you mumble as you try and avoid bluntly saying no. Kayla had been pestering you to go out with her since it apparently ‘had been so long since last time’. You knew better, it was just an excuse since her and Jim were on a so-called “break” and your friend longed to rebound with the first suitable candidate. 

Though you could admit that you had been neglecting your duties as her friend lately, the thought of going out today of all days just didn’t sit right. And though the excuses you gave were partly true, a small part of you wanted to keep your calendar clear, just in case Beomgyu would text. Which was an almost ridiculous thought since you hadn’t heard from him in nearly two weeks. Biting your lip, you wonder what could possibly be keeping him from you, work? You had no clue of what he did for a living, he never told you, but then again, you never asked. Much like the rest of him, he kept his day to day life from you, and honestly, you were too scared to pry. 

“Fine”, you groan as you set the cloth aside to move over to the next table. Kayla squeals on the phone as she promises that the two of you are going to have a fun night. After agreeing on a set time to meet up, you end the call before shoving your phone in your back pocket to resume working. 

You’re about halfway done clearing the table, plates stacked on both your arms as you maneuver around the chairs, when a voice from somewhere behind startles you. “Here, let me help you with those,” Soobin says as he takes a few plates from your crowded arms. “Oh, thank you,” you shyly mumble as you let him aid you. 

Soobin was the son of the owners to the restaurant you worked part time at, and even though he was a few years older, the two of you got along well as he often stopped by to help his parents out. — “How have you been?” he asks as you make your way to the kitchen. You sigh, “overworked? All I know is I’m glad the semester is coming to an end in a month or so.” 

Soobin nods as he keeps his gaze ahead, “understandable, you work hard.” He gives you a small smile, “but it’ll certainly pay off once you get your degree.” His reassurance brought a smile to your lips as well and as the two of you set the dishes down he turns to you. “So, you got any plans for the summer?” He asks as you run the faucet over the dirty plates. You shake your head whilst keeping your hands busy by picking up a sponge and drenching it in dish soap. “I’ll probably take up a few more shifts here, so don’t think you’ll be rid of me”, you tease as you pick up a plate. 

He chuckles as he runs a hand through his short hair, “I wouldn't want it any other way.” You smile as your gaze shifts to the dishes in your hands. “My parents love you”, he then adds as he leans against the counter, “I’m sure they’re more than thrilled to have you here all summer, just don’t forget to take some time to yourself.” 

You cock an eyebrow at him, “are you shooing me away?” Soobin grins, “certainly not”, he says as he takes the now clean plate from your hands to dry it. “On the contrary, I was going to ask if you could spare some time in your hectic calendar for me.” Your hand misses the glass you were aiming to grab and instead fumbles against the bubbles that had formed from the soap as you blink up at him. Sure you and Soobin spent a great deal of time together, but that was all thanks to your job at his parent’s restaurant. You never saw each other outside of these walls but now he was openly asking for said fact to change? 

Upon noticing your hesitation he quickly adds, “my friends and I rented this small cabin not too far from the city, I would love for you to join us...If you want to of course.” He sets the dry plate down as he bunches the cloth up in his hands nervously. — “I…I would like that a lot.” You smile and Soobin’s grin returns. 

“Young man!” A hoarse voice calls from somewhere behind you and you instantly turn around to find your boss storming toward the two of you. Soobin immediately cowers behind you as the elderly lady grabs ahold of his ear. “What do you think you’re doing? Distracting my best employee from her work!” She yanks at his ear and he winces, “ah! Mom, we were just…” — “Just what?” She retorts as she pulls his ear once more causing him to yelp in pain. 

“It’s fine, Mrs Choi. He has been helping out with the dishes”, you assure in an attempt to settle the nerves of the elderly lady. Her stern gaze flickers from Soobin to you before she lets go of his ear, causing him to stumble backward as he cradles the red skin. “Hmpf, as long as he works I suppose…” she mutters as she shoots her son a small glare. — “But I don’t even work here…” he begins but is quickly cut off when his mom raises a small fist, “alright, alright!” 

Mrs Choi turns to you with a small smile which you quickly return. “Are you staying for dinner, dear?” She asks to which you politely nod, “I would be delighted to.” 

Your throat burns as you down your third shot of the night. Setting the empty glass down, you lean against the bar as your eyes peer out over the crowded dance floor. “You wanna dance?” Kayla asks next to you as she, too, sets her own empty shot down. True to her word, she had stuck by you all evening, mainly because she hadn’t scoured out a worthy candidate to take her home for the night yet. Still, you felt relieved by her presence. “Sure”, you grin as you push yourself off the bar counter. 

The floor was crowded and you could’ve sworn it thumped in rhythm with the multiple bodies jumping up and down on it. You and Kayla stuck close to one another, screaming the lyrics of whatever song was playing in each other’s faces as you spun around.

Perhaps a night out was exactly what you needed, an escape from your otherwise mundane reality in which you waited on someone like a lost puppy, someone who hardly seemed to care for you. — But oh, speak of the devil. 

You knew that he ventured out to clubs more than often, but this certainly wasn’t the only available place in town; quite the opposite. Yet you always seemed to stumble across him whenever you were the least prepared to. 

Hopelessly you watch as Beomgyu swiftly moves across the outskirts of the dancefloor, followed by three men you did not recognize. He pays them little mind as he greets one of the many women waiting by an empty booth. Your heart flutters in a most agonizing way as you watch their interaction, from the way he leans down to whisper something in her ear to the ring clad hand on her waist, fingers tracing the skin just above the waistband of her skirt. She giggles as she leans into his touch and you grimace at the sight. 

Then you suddenly become aware of the fact that he could see you too, if only he turned his head ever so slightly in your direction. What would he do then? Ignore you? How could you ever face him again if he did. But what if he came up to you? In front of Kayla? Neither of your options seemed rather beneficial. So instead you settle on the only reasonable one, to run away. — Rushing to grab Kayla by her arm, you march toward the exit. Confused, she yells for you to stop as she trashes against your firm grip. You won’t have any of it as you push past the sweaty bodies, freedom within your grasp. 

It isn’t until the fresh night air hits your burning hot face that you loosen your grip on your friend. Immediately snatching her arm back, Kayla studies you with a mixture of apprehension and anger. “What’s gotten into you?” She yells as she cradles her sore limb close to her chest. You don’t answer her as you lean against the cold brick wall, breathing in slowly through your nose before letting it out through your mouth again. “Just needed some fresh air”, you mumble without opening your now closed eyes. 

Kayla lets out a short breath beside you as she, too, leans against the wall. “You okay?” she then asks, seemingly having calmed down after her small outburst. You nod and a small silence envelops the two of you. — “Do you want to get out of here?” Your friend mumbles, obviously worried about you. “No, don’t worry about it.” You shake your head, not wanting to ruin her night simply because you couldn’t handle being in the same room as someone who you only ever had casual sex with; someone she most definitely wouldn’t want you to even be acquainted with.  

“You go on back inside, I’ll join you in a few.” You give Kayla a reassuring smile and she slowly nods before giving your cheek a quick peck. “Text me if you change your mind”, she chirps before skipping back inside the beating club. Letting out another deep breath you glance around the dark and lonely alleyway. Save for a few overcrowded trash cans, and empty beer bottles littering the streets, it was empty. 

You lean back against the wall, letting your eyes fall shut as you focus on the way your chest rises and falls. Maybe it was childish to run away like you had, but in the heat of the moment it had seemed like the only reasonable thing to do. It was just…You hadn’t seen him like that since — since you first met. Almost two weeks of not seeing each other and he was carefree as ever, acting as if the whole world laid at his feet, all the while you were going borderline insane waiting on a single text from him. Gosh when did you become so desperate? How had you allowed yourself to sink to such a level? And why was it so easy for him? Why did you have to be the only one suffering from your otherwise pleasure filled relationship? It was unfair. 

If he could have a good time without you then you could have a good time without him, right? You told yourself that you could, and you would. Mentally preparing yourself to go back inside, you draw in a deep breath — but before you’re able to let it go, the door next to you opens. You don’t open your eyes as you listen to the sound of it closing once more. A warm body joins you as it, too, leans against the cold brick wall. 

In the quiet night air you can make out the sounds of them shuffling through their pockets followed by a small clicking noise — the same noise a lighter makes. The smell of smoke invades your nose and you resist scrunching it in disgust. Next to you, the person exhales. 

“You’re not planning on saying hello?” 

Beomgyu’s relaxed voice sends chills down your spine and your eyes snap open. Refusing to turn your head and look at him, you keep your gaze on the messy graffiti, covering the brick wall in front of you. Following the scribbly lines, you draw in a short breath. “I didn’t think it would be appropriate to.” Your voice comes out a lot steadier than you had anticipated and you’re relieved. The liquor still simmering in your body made you a tad more confident, you think. 

From the corner of your eye you can see him bringing a cigarette to his lips, drawing in a deep breath before his hand returns to his side. He exhales the smoke, the light breeze immediately carrying the dark cloud your way. “No?” He asks and you can feel his gaze on you as he studies your frame. “No.” You repeat as you fold your arms across your chest. “You looked…busy”, you quietly mumble, not wanting to directly target the fact that he’d had both his eyes and hands on another woman just moments prior. 

Next to you Beomgyu scoffs, “and does that matter to you?” You bite your lip, pulling your arms closer around your chest as your eyes try their best not to glance in his direction. “Why wouldn’t it?” You mutter, unable to hide the evident jealousy in your voice. You cursed yourself for being so easily affected by what he chose to do in his own free time. It wasn’t like you were exclusive or anything, he had made that very clear. So why did it bother you so much that he so easily could go off with another woman while you struggled to even think about anyone that wasn’t him. 

Beomgyu hums as he takes another drag of his cigarette before twirling it between his slender fingers. “And if I wasn’t busy?” His question left you unprepared and you purse your lips as your gaze dropped to the pavement in front of you. Would you have gone up to him if he hadn’t already had a girl clinging to him, if he wasn’t already busy? 

“I don’t know.” You finally say as you glance over at him for the first time since he joined you outside. His dark hair shielded most of his expression from your curious eyes, though you could tell that his gaze fixated on the cigarette between his fingers, his lips slightly parted as a frown made its way to his face. “It’s hard to know when you’re available..” you mumble and Beomgyu’s eyes flicker toward you, his tongue prodding at the inside of his cheek. 

You swallow as you hold his gaze. “If I was available right now?” He holds out the cigarette for you to take. You eye it with disdain before shaking your head. “I don’t smoke.” — He cocks an eyebrow at you, “you’d be the first to decline.” He chuckles though lets his hand fall to his side once more as he tilts his head back against the brick wall. “But you’re the first of many things, dollface.” 

You frown as you study his relaxed posture with a wary expression. First of what? Sometimes it felt as if you and Beomgyu spoke two completely different languages. No matter how much you twisted and turned his words around you never got them to make sense in your head. It was almost like playing an endless boardgame, only Beomgyu knew the rules and you didn’t. 

The whole thing left you feeling frustrated and with a small sigh you push yourself off the wall as you make a move to go around him and back into the club. However his free hand on your wrist halts all movement as Beomgyu easily freezes you in place. “Don’t you have someone waiting for you in there?” You retort as you try and pull your wrist from his firm grip. 

Dropping the cigarette, he crushes it with the sole of his shoe before yanking you back against the brick wall, easily pinning you against it “No.” He simply states as he studies your stunned expression with a smug look. “Thought I already told you I was available right now”, he then adds with a small smirk, showing off his perfect sets of teeth.

His breath is only inches from your already hot face and you struggle to keep your breathing even. “But what if I’m not available?” You counter as you watch the smirk on his lips grow. His hand cups your cheek as he turns your face in his hands, “you wouldn’t have darted out of this place like that if you were.” 

Fuck, so he did see you. You’re thankful for the darkness of the alleway as your face flushes with color, though you’re certain he can feel the heat emitting from your cheeks as his thumb grazes your skin. “Fuck, do you always look this dolled up, even when it’s not for me?” He murmurs as his dark gaze drops to your lips, coated in a shiny gloss. You blink up at him, your lips parting in a reply that is immediately swallowed by his mouth on your own. 

Beomgyu wastes no time as his hands cup your face, pulling you closer only for him to push his tongue inside your mouth. Your eyes widen as you gasp against his lips. “Wait, wait, what if someone sees?” You shriek as your hands push at his chest. Beomgyu chuckles against your mouth as his hands wander down your body, groping your breast shamelessly before moving down the soft flesh of your stomach. 

You let out a startled yelp as the cold metal of his rings suddenly comes in contact with the back of your thighs as Beomgyu hikes your legs around his waist; his lips moving to kiss and nibble at your neck as he pushes your already short dress up above your hips. “Beomgyu I’m serious”, you whine as your hands brace themselves on his shoulders. You throw an anxious glance in the direction of the door, dangerously close to where the two of you currently were. 

Groaning against your skin, the pad of his thumb presses against your clit and you bite down on your lip in a feeble attempt to remain quiet. “C’mon dollface, don’t go shy on me now”, he taunts against your neck as he pulls your skin between his teeth, making you cry out as your nails dig into his shoulders. 

Fuck it. At least he was with you and not that dumb bimbo he had been feeling up not even fifteen minutes earlier. You were all that mattered to him. Right? You were, weren't you? That’s why he had gone after you, only you. 

Your hands move along his shoulders, past his neck and through his dark hair as you pull his face back up to yours, reconnecting your lips in a feverish kiss. You can feel the smirk that stretches across his lips as he lets you push your tongue deep inside his mouth, not bothering to care for the taste of smoke still lingering there. You pull back to lick your lips as you watch the tauntingly smug expression he still carried as his fingers dipped inside your panties to tease your throbbing cunt. — Your cunt that had craved him almost more than your restless mind. 

“Why haven’t you texted me?” Your voice threatens to betray you as he pushes two fingers inside of you without much struggle. Beomgyu’s lips return to your neck before slowly traveling up toward your ear, he pulls your lobe between his teeth, rolling the metal of your earring against his tongue. “Don’t grow greedy, dollface.” He groans against the shell of your ear before he pulls back to look at you. “You already have so much.” 

You frown as your lips form into a confused pout — an expression that was quickly exchanged for a much more pleasurable one as the tip of his cock prodded against your aching cunt. Your head hits the brick wall behind you as Beomgyu eases himself inside of you, a deep groan leaving his lips. With a small gulp you tilt your head to the side, eyeing the door nervously. 

Setting a quick and rough pace, Beomgyu’s fingers clasps around your face as he effortlessly shifts your attention back toward him. “If they see, they see”, he grunts as he moves in and out of you swiftly. Meekly nodding, your hands fall back onto his shoulders as your moans fill the empty alleway. Even if no one saw you, they were bound to hear you. The thought thrilled you more than you thought it would. — The thought of everyone knowing what Beomgyu was doing to you, that he was doing it to you and no one else. Only you. 

You knew that your attachment to him was becoming increasingly worrying. But Beomgyu was intoxicating, almost like a drug. Once you tried him, everything else seemed bland. Most of all, you could never seem to get enough of him, he always left you craving more; and you would do anything to get him. Even now, as you smell the perfume of that girl all over him, you still crave him. All you can think about is him, all you can breathe is him, and all you need is him. 

“Did you fuck her?” You breathe as your nails claw against his shoulders, drawing deep groans from him. You didn’t care if he did, not anymore. All that mattered was the fact that he was with you right now, and no one else, only you. You told yourself that his answer wouldn’t matter. “No”, he grunts as he snaps his hips against yours. 

He…didn’t? 

The smug feeling blooming in your chest should perhaps have been worrying but you could only relish in the fact that he had chosen you over her. He had chosen you over all of them. You were special, right? When he finishes inside of you, you’re certain that you are. You moan at the feeling of being filled to the brim with everything that was Beomgyu; letting him shove his fingers inside your sore cunt as he pushes his cum back inside, mixing it with your own fluids before he brings his fingers to your face. Happily, you let him smear the liquids against your lips as you look up at him with a dazed expression. 

“You really are a doll, aren’t you?” he murmurs as he watches your tongue dart out to swipe across your wet lips. — If spending almost two weeks desperately longing for him was what it would take for something like this to happen, you would do it all over again, for as many times as you would have to.

Oh how you were addicted to Choi Beomgyu.

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[artaacari]

11. Fantasy

Ukrainian version on Facebook

This story began on a cold autumn evening, when the wind howled along the roads, rain dripped from the sky, and the trees around the roadside seemed like eerie shadows. Not the best time to travel, but what do you do when you're a wandering minstrel.

Therefore, Nino had to test his strength and hope that somewhere nearby there would be at least some kind of hut where he could spend the night. Unfortunately, not all hosts are so kind as to accept payment in the form of a song by the lit fireplace. But the young man did not get tired of proving what a successful currency it was in the capital and other prominent places of the kingdom.

So even today, he will definitely have a roof over his head. Even if you have to go halfway through the gloomy forest for this.

However, the forest was not only dark, but also had a bad reputation. There you could disappear and never return, face real monsters or witness a witch ritual. Any of these events could become the plot for a new song, but Nino didn't really want to check something on himself.

He was more interested in the light that had been flickering to the left between the trees for several minutes. There might well be a farm with friendly villagers. Or foresters who will agree to share dinner in exchange for the latest news from the cities. And in any house, a minstrel would find something to amuse the residents.

But when he finally reached the source of that light, he was lost for the first time in his life. It was a castle in miniature, with two tall towers, narrow loophole windows and a welcoming open gate. The fire could only be seen there, because there were no people or guards around the building. It created a strange impression, as if everyone had left here a long time ago, but the owner suddenly remembered something and returned for the forgotten thing.

However, it was too cold outside for Nino to heed the warnings of his inner voice. And his minstrel's conscience will not be clear until his curiosity is satisfied.

As a rule, unusual personalities live in a castle in the middle of a forest.

Inside the fortress also seemed abandoned. Bare walls, unnatural silence, no personal belongings of those who might once have lived here. The only thing that guided Nino was a light that sometimes appeared in front of him, then disappeared in the darkness.

It looked very much like a trap, but the boy convinced himself that no monster would be interested in his skinny figure. And even if the events develop not too favorably, you can always give free rein to a well-hung tongue, which saved Nino from trouble more than once.

At last he reached the hall, where a fire was burning in the fireplace and at least some furniture could be seen. But it didn't attract too much attention compared to the silhouette that froze on the stairs.

E was a very beautiful girl in an orange dress with a black hem and a delicate white collar. Her long hair was auburn with a hint of red, very light at the ends. And the face was hidden by a mysterious shadow, in which only the shine of large dark eyes stood out.

- My congratulations! - Nino bowed, feeling awkward for some reason. - Perhaps you are the mistress of this castle?

- Depends on what you're looking for, - she said melodiously and beckoned him with her black gloved hand. - Come closer, I want to look at you.

It was a completely innocent request, but for some reason, Nino stayed put. He had too many questions and knew no fewer legends about very dangerous creatures that at first glance seemed beautiful.

- My song will tell the best about me, - assured the minstrel, and took out a lute.

He chose a slow melody, which gradually accelerated, picking up the memories inspired by the beginning in a kaleidoscope of strong experiences. Heroic ballads and love romances could be performed to this music, it all depended on the audience.

And she was very unpredictable now.

- I have never heard such a thing! - admitted the stranger in shock.

- I can play again! - offered Nino, deciding to bargain for himself some more benefit.

The girl on the stairs laughed quietly and started to go down.

- You can. You can even write a song about me.

- Then I need to know your name,- said the boy, holding his breath.

After all, she is about to come out of the darkness into the light!

- I used to be called the Red Fox, - the stranger began to say. - Everything was different once. But do I have the right to not be an illusion for once?

[pyrokineticwarrior]

Devlin's eyes widened in awe as the golden light filled the woods, and he found himself standing before the goddess Astra. Her presence exuded a sense of power and wisdom that was both captivating and comforting. He listened intently to her words, the honeyed tones of her voice resonating within him.

A mixture of curiosity and gratitude washed over Devlin as he absorbed the offer presented to him. He was also nervous and at an awe. As a warrior for Olympus, he had always believed in the existence of higher beings, but each time he was in the presence of one, he seemed to always be stunned and feeling small. It reminded him of the time he was ridiculed and belittled in that brief visit to Olympus, and since then he hadn't felt the presence of Zagreus anymore. As if that entity had vanished entirely!

He took a moment to collect his thoughts, feeling the weight of the dark entity's presence and the emotional attachment he had developed toward it. It was true that he had started questioning his role as a hunter, his perception of monsters becoming more nuanced over time. The internal conflict had been growing, and now, faced with a choice that could potentially sever the bond, he had to make a decision.

Devlin met Astra's gaze, his gratefulness shimmering in his eyes. "Goddess, I am honored by your presence and your offer. Your guidance would be invaluable to me, especially as I navigate this path that feels increasingly uncertain. While I do have an attachment to the dark energy, it has been causing me inner turmoil and raising doubts within me."

He breathed deeply, his voice filled with determination. "I have dedicated myself to protecting the innocent and fighting against those who seek to harm others. But I've begun to realize that not all monsters are truly evil, that some may be victims of circumstance or driven by forces beyond their control. It weighs heavily on my conscience."

Devlin's gaze held both hope and vulnerability as he continued, "If your blessing can help me find clarity, to discern between true evil and those deserving of mercy, then I humbly accept it. I want to be a force for good in this world, but I also want to understand the complexities of the beings I encounter. Guide me, Goddess Astra, and help me find my true path."

@theasteria

Being a goddess that was more on the newer end, not many in the mortal realm knew who she was. Her kingdom had expanded predominantly in the Spiritual realm and of course, amongst the stars and those who watched over the various timelines that ran through this reality.

Really, the only beings that knew of whom she was were Ulysses and his relations...including Cthulhu. Olympus knew her well and of course...Cyrus, whom was going to be a problem later down the line in her own current timeline.

Her intuition picked up a prayer, one that carried an herbal scent and an honest request. Astra usually did not get prayers from the earthly realm for her directly, and so this truly piqued her interest.

Golden light shone within the woods, near the source of the prayer. Astra appeared, floating slightly off the ground encased in golden light before the light faded and her feet lowered to the ground in front of the demigod. Gentle, brown hues studied him, her Sight revealing various different pathways of Fate, though at the same time, there was a dark entity attached to him via a contractual bond.

Her gaze followed the line of the bond beyond the woods, leading thousands of miles away to the embodiment of Sin, an entity that was part of an entirely different pantheon. Her gaze retracted back to the man. "Devlin," her voice was like honey, warm and soothing to anyone who heard it.

"It is nice to meet you," lips curved up into a gentle smile. "My blessing is powerful and it would eliminate the cursed bond that currently is in effect... and all remnants of it. I sense an emotional attachment to the dark energy. Would you still like me to invoke my blessing?" The Greek gods often gave humans no choice and did not inform of the consequences of such blessings and protection. Astra was hoping to be a bit different than the original Greek gods. "Your path ahead is harsh... but I would be happy to guide you."

@pyrokineticwarrior

[furiousgoldfish]

system update #2

I have my personality traits divided between the alters, the child has all the personality traits that have been erased within me: stubbornness, the conviction of invincibility, playfulness, excitement, curiosity, desire for honest friendships and love, urge to be indulged, urge to be cared for. They’re utterly uncaring for what others think, and live according to the script in their own head, that has nothing to do with other people’s perception.

I, on the other hand, am ruled by anxiety and paranoia, I feel that I have very little personality, but also overactive empathy, guilt complex, responsibility complex, saviour complex, mistrust towards society, forced compassion, selflessness that isn’t healthy, urge to exist as a service rather than a person; basically I’m a result of programming.

My protective alter, they got all of the traits that I was told were ‘evil’ and couldn’t handle having inside of me, they got the selfishness, entitlement to resources and inheritance, desire for satisfaction, snootiness, jealousy, vindictiveness, lust, survival instincts, self-importance, propensity for drama. And none of these are bad traits. They’re all completely normal, human traits, and my alter isn’t unpleasant about any of it - they’re much easier to talk to than I am.

I’ve been intimidated with all of those traits before, especially vindictiveness, ability to hate, selfishness, self-importance, but the truth is, none of these traits are overtaking my alter’s behaviour. It is okay for all of these to exist, especially when in balance with empathy, compassion, concern for others, conscience. If traits like selfishness and self-importance don’t exist, then empathy and compassion are capable of completely overtaking a person’s behaviour, and it leads to low self worth. Lack of jealousy with the desire to give everyone whatever they want, leads to neglect of our needs, and ignoring injustice and unfairness, until it builds up into pain and anger. Lack of vindictiveness paired up with love for others, ends up in feeling no love for yourself, letting yourself be used and stepped on. We all need these traits in order to be a full person, to have a normal, functional character.

If someone else with alters is reading this, please tell me if the division of traits like this is common, and if you have one similar to this too!

And the actual update of what’s going on is - I can’t see the inner world of the child alter anymore. I can’t enter, I don’t know what’s going on. But the child alter is in a friendly mood towards me, and is not trying to antagonize me anymore. I’m grateful for that, and still feeling the grief of their acceptance that we’ve been, in fact, abused. 

[shintin]

Forget Me Not: Chapter 17 (Is it okay we stay here?)

↳ Gojo Satoru x Female Reader

Description: Imagine that from the moment you opened your eyes into this world, you had no choice but to kill and shed the blood of others, that you had to fight alongside Toji Fushiguru and die with him.

What would you do when they force you to do something you don't like? When the torment of conscience presses on your throat, will you give up? Now think about a day that life gives you another chance; how would you use it?

This is the story of a murderer who seeks salvation. Will she find it in the arms of Satoru Gojo? Or will pain find her sooner than redemption and drive her out of heaven forever?

Genre: heavy angst, sad love story, maybe tragedy, violence, lonely hearts, broken souls, +18.

Tags/Warnings: Oh, you just have to read it yourself. I won't spoil a thing!

Author Note: In the story, I preferred to use Nanami instead of Kento, however, I'll use Kento in conversations.

Song Recommendation: Céline Dion - Breakaway

Chapter index -> Next chapter

Year: 2018

"Hey Y/N, you don't know where Sensei is?" Yuji folded his arms and slid into the chair in the hotel lobby.

Without wanting to face Yuji, you pulled the straw out of your mouth, shrugged your shoulders, and said in an indifferent tone: "No," and continued to drink again.

The emptiness felt so heavy in your heart.

Nobara, who was watching you closely, put her hand under her chin and said: "It was clear from Sensei's condition that he was angry. The poor red-haired girl came out of his room crying. I had never seen him like this before." After finishing her sentence, she continued to stare at your face to see your reaction.

'So he didn't sleep with that girl? Huh! Why do I even care? His relationships are none of my business! Don't care! Don't care, don't care ... why did he kick the girl out of his room? Why should I be happy about this? The poor girl was not at fault. Yeah, blame Satoru! That bastard! But he didn't ask the girl to come here! She dug her own grave! What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I so cruel? Don't be stupid Y/N, your heart will break.'

Your inner struggle continued, but you tried not to show anything to others. So you occupied yourself by playing with the poor straw.

Nobara continued: "If I knew there was going to be such a drama here, I wouldn't go to that stupid park! I would love to know if Sensei has gone after the girl or not."

"If your curiosity will satisfy, I must say that he didn't go after the girl," Megumi said and sat in a chair next to you.

You put your drink on the table and looked at Megumi, trying to hide your interest in the conversation.

"Oh, does your step-dad tell you where he's going so you don't have to worry about him?~" Yuji winked at Megumi to make him angrier.

"No, idiot! I was talking to Maki! Gojo's mother is sick and seems to be going through her last days, he hurried back to the Gojo's mansion." Megumi said, and then his eyes fell on your sad face.

Your heart ached when you heard the news, and deep down, you knew that Satoru was probably in pain as well. You were mad. But you were the one who agreed to go to his room; you were the only one who lowered her guards stupidly. He never promised you or told you anything, so that you couldn't blame him. But there was a weakness in your heart for him—a soft spot. You have seen his past. You remembered his memories of being forced to live apart from his mother as a child. You never had a mother. You didn't even know how painful it would be to lose a loved one. Then you looked at Yuji. He was dear to you for unknown reasons, and you didn't even want to think about losing him.

You swallowed and asked: "How is he?"

"Nobody knows. I just know that Nanami is with him," Megumi answered.

"I didn't know that Sensei has a family." Yuji scratched the back of his head.

"Yuji! Don't be stupid again! He is not a plant that grows by himself, he certainly has a family somewhere." Nobara folded her arms.

"Don't insult me, Nobara! I know he has a family. I just have never seen him talk about them" Yuji stuck out his tongue.

"They have complicated relationships." Megumi said in a low tone and continued: "Tomorrow morning Ijichi will come to bring us back to the school."

You turned your head to the lobby windows and stared out. 'Why do I even care about that obnoxious self-centered bastard?'

Really Y/N? Should I bother myself to answer? Okay. Because you have seen his true well-hidden self, deep down in his being, and it had enchanted you.

The rest of the night passed quietly, with the kids talking about their sightseeing at Disneyland Park.

-----------------

For three days, no one saw Satoru at school. On the third night, without knowing the reason, you opened the door of your room. While looking at the closed door of Satoru's room, you pricked up your ears so you might hear a sound from his room. But no sound was heard. You were feeling pain in your heart and thought maybe he was back.

Why were you upset? Where was the source of this boundless sorrow? Were you sensing his emotions in your heart? But why?

You sighed and closed the door behind you.

-----------------

On the fourth day, Shoko came to the training grounds early in the morning. You were watching Maki's practice with Nobara.

"Hi, Y/N, good morning," Shoko said in a tired voice.

"Good morning Shoko, I thought you would be asleep now."

"Yeah, this is normally the case but I came to tell you that Satoru's mother died last night. If you like, you can come with us to the funeral. Yaga has allowed it."

The smile on your lips quickly faded. You had felt the grief last night. "But I ... is it okay that I ... I mean, is it okay for me to attend the Gojo family ceremony?"

"All Satoru's friends will come. I don't think there are many of us. By the way, do you have a black dress?" Shoko's tone was kind.

You nod your head in approval.

"Well, be in front of the school gates at 12 o'clock. I will arrange for Kento to accompany you." Shoko waved her hand and walked away, and you stood there with a load of pain in your heart.

-----------------

It was about 11:30 when you crossed the school hallways to the gate. You were wearing a plain black dress with sleeves that covered the scars on your right shoulder. You didn't want to attract any attention as possible.

(A/N: Y/N's outfit:)

One of the rooms opened as you were walking, and a tall man with blond hair came out. When he saw you, he suddenly stood in place and adjusted his glasses on his nose. 'What's with the glasses and sorcerers?' you thought.

You have known this man for years. He was one of the sorcerers who wanted to arrest you, but you knew he was also Satoru's friend.

The blond man coughed and moved closer. "You must be Y/N Kamo. I'm glad I'm finally able to meet you in person."

You smiled. "You must be Kento Nanami. Sorry you couldn't capture me. Glad to meet you." He was handsome; you admitted it.

A faint smile appeared on the corner of Nanami's lips. "So Satoru didn't exaggerate, you really know all of us."

"Oh, I didn't have so much information about you. It's just that Satoru talks a lot about you," you smiled politely again.

"If you want to listen to everything he says, your brain capacity will fill very quickly." Nanami rubbed his forehead.

You didn't want to say that listening to Satoru's nonsenses about everything was one of your favorite things to do during the day. So you changed the subject. "How is he?"

Nanami raised his head. Your tone was worried. It was interesting for him to see someone concerned for the strongest sorcerer in the jujutsu world.

"So you really are a kind heart with two hands and two feet. Don't worry, he will be fine." Nanami then looked at his watch and continued: "It's better to leave. By the way, don't talk to anyone during the ceremony. This includes the students, and always stand by me. This is for your own safety too. All the higher ups weren't agree with you being alive and many of them will be there today. And...I think you should hide your cursed energy."

You nodded and walked to Nanami's car with him. You two didn't exchange any words along the way. Only the radio and news sound could be heard in the car.

The mansion of the Gojo family was as big as the lands of the Jujutsu High and even more beautiful than it. The exterior of all the buildings was decorated with high-quality woods, and all the buildings retained their traditional texture. What you liked about it was that many of the buildings were built by the river and pond.

(A/N: The mansion of Gojo family: )

As you looked around, suddenly you noticed that a crowd had gathered in the corner of the backyard. The whole group was dressed in stylish black formal clothes.

You stood in the last rows with Nanami and slowly raised your toes to look for Satoru.

Nanami looked at you. He knew what you were up to. "The Gojo family has many white-haired men. The first row, second from the left, Satoru is there." Nanami pointed to a particular spot with his head.

You were embarrassed and quickly turned your head. Suddenly upon seeing him, a faint smile appeared on your face. How come you haven't noticed him? He was the tallest of all the white-haired men. He was standing in the front row, wearing black from head to toe; his long coat and gloves were black too.

(A/N: Satoru's outfit...ok, he is so hot)

Was it wrong to think he was still handsome in this situation?

Moments later, your gaze fell on Shoko and Yaga, who passed you and headed for the front rows.

The students were also standing in the last rows. You couldn't ignore the strange looks of people towards Yuji. Everyone looked at him as if he was not a human being like them. Everyone saw him as the vessel of Sukuna, who should have been executed a long time ago, but Satoru Gojo had prevented it. Yuji was like you. You wished you could be with Yuji so he wouldn't feel alone.

Nobara, as if noticing your looks, turned her head, smiled at you, and then took Yuji's hand. Then she whispered something in Yuji's ear, and he leaned over, looking at you.

You quickly turn your face so as not to attract anyone's attention.

The ceremony went on like this: each of Satoru's relatives gave a short speech about his mother. Throughout the ceremony, your eyes were on Satoru, who kept his head down with no trace of his usual goofy smile. You wanted to raise his chin, look at his sad eyes and promise him that everything would be alright. You couldn't lie to yourself. Something was sparkling in your heart, like lighting a candle in a pitch-black room, like promising the warmth after a long winter.

When it was time for the first-degree relatives' speech, before Satoru's turn, Nanami whispered in your ear: "Let's go."

You quickly turned your head. "But ..."

"Just follow me." He said in a firm tone. You said nothing. You turned your head, looked at Satoru again, and followed Nanami.

When Satoru stood in front of the crowd to begin his speech, he looked for you in the crowd. His heart grew heavy when he didn't see you there.

'She must still be upset with me ...' Satoru thought.

He sighed and lowered his head, took out the note he had written for his mother from his pocket, and after a few coughs, started reading it. His voice was firm. Over the years, he had learned well not to let anyone see his weakness. He kept everything under wraps until Y/N found his old baggage. She was the only one who had seen his weaknesses to this day.

His mother was buried with other members of the Gojo family. After the funeral, Satoru and his father stood together without exchanging a word, shaking hands with those who had attended the funeral and accepting their condolences.

The coldness between Satoru and his father wasn't hidden from anyone. Still, they both tolerated each other for the sake of the family.

As Satoru's students approached, his father glared at Yuji and Maki in disgust and turned away. But Yuji, without caring about the looks of others, hugged his Sensei. And after a long time, a smile appeared on Satoru's lips.

"Hey, didn't Y/N come with you?" Satoru asked Megumi in a whispered voice. Megumi looked around and said, "She was here, I don't know where she is now."

Satoru felt a ray of hope in his heart, but suddenly he looked around anxiously. The ceremony was full of people who didn't want Y/N alive. He had lowered his glass and was searching for Y/N's cursed energy that Nanami put his hand on his shoulder. "She is in your room. I didn't want her to attract attention."

Satoru sighed in relief. "Thank you, Kento," His tone was calm and grateful. Nanami raised his eyebrows. This was the first time he had heard such a profound and mature tone from him.

Before the reception, Satoru set foot in the corridors of the Gojo mansion and tried to get to his old room as quickly as possible. His heart pounded as he opened the door to his room. There, you were standing in front of the open window, staring out. The sounds of the river probably prevented you from hearing the door close.

(A/N: Lucky bastard's room:)

Hesitation pervaded Satoru's whole being. He took off his gloves and put them on the table.

He doesn't know how you will treat him after the events of the past few days. He never experienced such a feeling in front of any woman.

You were standing a few steps away from him, but it was as if you were miles away from him.

Suddenly you turned your head, and when you saw Satoru in the middle of his room, you became frozen and stared at his face. You didn't know what to say either.

'Don't go closer, he will break your heart! His soul is full of hidden wounds that have never bled, he won't be a cure for your wounds.' But you didn't hear your heart.

"Y/N... I'm sorry, I shouldn't...." But before he could finish, your feet walked you towards him, and your arms wrapped around him. You hugged him tightly. His breaths trapped in his lunges, but soon his hands found their way to your back too. You were in his embrace, and you could feel his grief in your heart. Even though your heart was aching with pain, the feeling made you feel alive.

You were like a soul in two bodies. His pain was yours too.

Satoru was holding you tightly in his arms. It was okay to show his weaknesses to you. You were his home, after all. The tears that had been trapped in the corner of his eyes were now flowing freely onto your shoulders.

He had found his place, in between your arms, in between your soft whispers of 'it will be alright,' in between the warmth of your embrace, and the scent of your neck and the fierceness of your touch...

He had found his home lost inside of your soul.

Satoru didn't let you go; instead, you heard his whispers in your ear, "is it okay if we stay here? Exactly here, for just a moment? Can I wrap my arms around you longer, tighter? Can I hold you here? There's more to handle, more responsibilities to take, to deal with, to endure, but for now can we stay? If only a moment more?"

Your eyes filled with tears. You couldn't say no to him. He would stab you in the heart, and you would give him in the knife. He would shed your blood, and you would kiss his hands. What was happening to you?

You didn't move; you stood there so Satoru could pour his sorrows into your heart for as long as he needed to.

Moments later, Satoru loosened his arms and was shocked to see your wet eyes.

"Y/N, I- I shouldn't have touched you when I was so upset, I'm sorry -" He moved away from you and hit the wall with his fist. All this anger, all this sadness, was heavier than he thought. But you were there to help me carry the burden on his shoulders with him.

'Don't approach him Y/N, let him stand away from you, his sharp edges will cut your hands!' But, you ignored your heart again.

You walked over to him, put your hand on his shoulder, and turned him around.

"I'm sorry Y/N, I'm upsetting you like the rest of my loved ones, as if this is the best I can do. I should distance myself from everyone. I'm a fucked up mess..."

'loved ones'

'our birthday'

'don't love anything Y/N'

'we are not strangers'

'everything will be alright'

'I'm here, I won't let anyone to hurt you'

'I'll stay with you'

'you're the only thing that matters to me'

...

You could hear all the beautiful words he had said to you in your head.

You put your hands on his cheeks and raised his head. While smiling at him, you said, "you kept me alive, Satoru, you didn't let them kill me. I owe you my life. You stopped Yuji's execution; you didn't let them hurt Yuta; you protected everyone last year. You didn't hurt anyone intentionally; you had no choice. You're a good man, Satoru."

Satoru looked into your eyes; you could walk through hell and still be an angel.

You spoke, and Satoru's heart became sure. You loved the things he hated about himself. He would get nervous when he looked into your eyes. You showed him the light and helped him catch his breath. And all of these were more than anything he had felt before. You were everything he wanted, but he didn't think he would find one day. Now he knew that he had found the one he loved.

He leaned over to you, but before he could kiss you, the door to his room opened. One of the servants appeared in front of the door.

The servant's gaze quickly fell on you after Satoru.

You quickly removed your hands from his cheeks.

"Young Master, the elders of the other families have been waiting for you for a long time."

Satoru turned his head and said in a cold tone, "Learn to knock!"

Then he turned and looked at you. There was a beautiful smile on his face that melted your heart. "I'll see you at the reception, Y/N." The servant's gaze was zoomed in on your face.

Satoru headed out the door with the servant.

About half an hour later, there was a knock on the door, and Nanami and Shoko entered the room.

"Oh, how hard Satoru's life must have been in this big room. Come on! This is the size of my childhood home. Lucky bastard!" Shoko said sarcastically.

Then she looked around. "Huh, there are no traces of his stuffs or collection of manga books? That is weird! His room was full of them during high school! I thought his childhood room would look like the one I had seen."

Nanami shook his head and said, "you speak as if you don't know how traditional these families are. They ruin their heir's childhood. No wonder Satoru still acts like a child."

Shoko looked at you. "That's a good point, anyway, how are you, Y/N?"

Nanami also turned her face towards you: "Sorry you had to sit here alone. I had to send the students to school with Nita and Ijichi, Let's go to the reception. I have to ask Mei Mei a question and then we can head back to the school too."

You smiled and got up from the chair. You didn't tell them that Satoru was here with you. You were not ready to see anyone's judgmental looks. Those moments belonged only to you.

But Shoko looked at the gloves on the table and then at you, and a smile appeared on the corner of her mouth. "You two go, I'm going back to school with Yaga. Reception is full of the Zenin family members and Yaga fucking hates them, I don't want to leave him alone among them."

'Toji also hated the Zenins. They didn't have mercy on their own blood. It was no surprise that Maki had escaped from them.' You thought.

Then you took a deep breath and left the room with them. You made your way to the hall where the reception was being held. Shoko quickly said goodbye to you and Kento before heading to the other side of the hall.

It was as if the sorcerers took the funeral very seriously because many people had gathered here, talking to each other.

Nanami led you to a corner so you would not encounter anyone. "Hey, wait for me here. I'll be back soon." He said before disappearing into the crowd.

You were annoyed that Nanami was treating you like a little kid. You turned your gaze, and suddenly your eyes fell on a man who looked like Toji.

Suddenly fear filled your heart. This man had monolid eyes and a smug smile on his face, just like Toji. The only difference was that this man was blonde, and the tip of his hair was black.

"It is obvious from your reaction that you have realized that I am an acquaintance of your old friend. Oh, how rude I am~ My name is Naoya Zenin. I'm glad to meet you, our famous Y/N!"

He was looking right into your eyes. You didn't answer and tried not to look into his eyes. After all these years, you were still scared of those eyes.

"Oh, Y/N, don't be afraid of me, I'm not like my cousin. In fact, I am very kind~ We can be good friends."

And your eyes fell on Nanami, who put his hand on Naoya's shoulder and said: "Maybe later, Zenin."

Naoya grinned at Nanami, then turned his face towards you, "I'm sure we will meet again, Kamo." He winked at you and walked away.

"Let's go, Y/N," Nanami told you, but before you could reach the exit, an old man with white hair and eyes the same color as Satoru's stopped you.

"It is rude to leave without saying goodbye. You must have some sort of a death wish by appearing here!" Satoru's father's tone was disgusting.

You looked behind, hoping you might see Satoru.

"Don't search for him! My son is not here to take you out of my vlaws again to just piss off."

You turned your head towards the man and looked into his eyes with anger.

"What is it darling? Did you really think my son cares about a half curse like you? You must be so stupid to think that he needs someone like you as an allied despite being the strongest. Oh honey, I was one of those who voted for your execution, and my son decided to keep you alive just to humiliate me among others. You're just another toy from his collection that he is gathering to take revenge on me."

The man laughed in disgust. "Oh, poor girl! Did you think you were the first woman to set foot in my son's room? The walls of that room have witnessed the moans of more beautiful and noble women than you. I doubt you are even a woman!"

Let me tell you something; broken hearts can break again and again until you find no trace of it. Now you answer me, after witnessing the hit of the last nail in your coffin, did you still have a heart left to beat again for him?

No! You were no longer blind or naive. You were no longer going to play the role of the kind, innocent girl.

Didn't Toji yell in your ears thousands of times that the world of jujutsu is drowning in manipulation? Do you have to be a toy yourself to learn finally?

Nanami looked at you anxiously and worried about your reaction.

You may have been stupid until today, but you were not going to fall into the trap of these sorcerers anymore.

You knew well that you should not react angrily, or this hateful man would do anything to return your death sentence. You needed to be alive to protect Yuji.

So with a wicked grin on the corner of your lips, you said: "Oh, so it must be very hard for you to see an ominous creature like me could walk freely just because of your shortcomings in raising your son?"

You were standing in front of the head of a family, cold-blooded, with the ruthless looks of a murderer. And there was no fear in your tone. You have killed men much stronger than him.

You weren't a murderer, Y/N. A murderer cannot be so fearless like you. It was the pain that had shaped her into a warrior. You were a tired warrior who hated battlefields.

Satoru's father was speechless.

Nanami said in your ear: "Let's go, hurry up!" And you turned your head with stone-cold eyes and walked out of the door with him.

You were not going to let anyone walk through your walls anymore. But would your castle be able to withstand the white-haired knight?

This is one of my favorite chapters. Because I had shown Y/N very soft so far, but I wanted to show that her soft morals were due to her own choice.

In general, she is a kind person, but she has never had good experiences in her life.

I imagine Y/N as a collection of broken pieces that sparkle in the sun. She can give love to others with each of her thousands of pieces. But her broken pieces can cut her own hand and the hands of others.

To approach her, you have to accept that she will leave wounds on your soul, but she will be the cure for all your pains when you get her heart.

Satoru also has sharp edges, but his supporting character is such that he is not afraid of getting hurt and approaches people without fear to save them. In my opinion, he still feels guilty about Suguru and always tries not to repeat that mistake again. That is why he has chosen to save Yuta, Yuji, and Y/N and all those who want to be saved.

Now the difference between Y/N and the others is that she may be the only one who has seen all corners of Satoru’s life but not only has she not taken advantage of his weaknesses, but she has even gone so far as to accept Satoru as an ordinary human being. In Y/N’s eyes, Satoru is not only the strongest sorcerer; he is also a human being who can make mistakes and should be given a chance to make amends.

She accepts Satoru as he is. She listens to him, laughs at his nonsense jokes, worries about him, pays attention to him because this is what you do to your loved ones.

On the other hand, Satoru challenges Y/N, introduces her to new worlds, forces her to experience new feelings, supports her, helps her, trusts her.

The two give each other things that they both lacked in life.

However, I have to say that, for unknown reasons (I know, you don’t), Satoru is the only person Y/N has been able to touch until today. As I said in the story, Y/N can feel his pain in her heart even without touching him, but when she touches Satoru, His pain makes her feel alive, just like what happened in today’s chapter.

To illustrate this point, let me give you an example:

Have you ever seen how good it feels when someone trusts you to share their grief with you? This is accurately that feeling that is physically expressed.

And at the end, she always has afraid of trusting others. Now that she feels a little safe, she extends his hand to the others with fear and hesitation. Still, when she feels a bit of danger, She immediately returns to her defensive state.

She has high walls around her that she had just lowered for Satoru.

Just put yourself in her shoes and see how you feel when, after years, you want to trust someone and, out of bad luck, he thinks of you as a tool too and uses you to his own advantage?

Or maybe it’s a fact Y/N believes… we’ll see this in the following chapters.

Tag list for Forget Me Not: @wobblewobble822 @imaginationisme @itsmekalou @yukianzaiii @halveablock @selahna @grade1sorcerer @yehet-moi-ohorat @crazyotakugal @cheezybell @insoukesboarmask @gojothealaskaboyph @their1andonly @dabithetouya @whyispistashanuttaken @marbleii @godtieruwu @chippyroh @where-are-you-everywhere @sirynbitch @hijiki-heichou @megumirose @ob-levi-on @appleseed-zahyou @nikajoyceinwonderland @icejifish @makiinin @julianat555 @skiwalkers @syll08 @aceofhermes @nemcxis @hiimahuman @tokoshojibestotp @gojoesatire @alicekaiba @your-nerd-is-showing @yosanoaki @ritsuuuyouu @4l-3x @meriem04 @blacklione15 @spookyboogyuniverse @jcssy @someonenoteveryone @kurushiisaboss @boredcatsyndrome @quevivalafresafrijolita @freefestivalherringdean @maggie420 @panicinart

ok, if you don't want to be on the tag list, please inform me 🙌

[mangoshorthand]

Dear Anon, I hope you see this and I hope you're well. I speak now to all the anons who have sent suicide bait to @topperscumslut. If that's you and you're reading, then I invite you to imagine that I am addressing you and only you.

I'm going to make an assumption here: I will assume you're young. So in this, I'm going to address the adult with the fully-developed sense of empathy that you will one day become.

When you were young, you were angry, directionless and absolutely sure of your convictions. When you made that post, you were enraged at the temerity of that user to force porn onto your dashboard and (to add insult to injury) it was a porn including a 'weird' condition you didn't even want to read about. We all feel like that sometimes when we're young. We have so little control over a world hurtling towards disaster. We're passionate but disempowered, so the world shrinks down to the point that even our Tumblr dash experience feels like a sacred space, because at least there, you have control. Grown up anon, I know you remember this exchange. I know you look back on it and feel like shit. I know that sometimes, late at night, you think about that faceless person on Tumblr you incited to suicide. Maybe they weren't even the only one. At the time, you justified it to yourself: you were being flippant, you obviously didn't literally mean they should kill themselves. It's just a figure of speech. Anyway, what about the minors who saw their post and were irrevocably scarred by it? And wasn't your consent violated by this being forced upon you? You were obviously the victim here. They were asking for it.

...Right? Now you're grown, you know that was bullshit. You just wanted to lash out. Not you or anybody else was harmed by them making a slight Tumblr booboo. You overstated harm in order to quiet a conscience that, even then, knew it was wrong. You just wanted to exert some control over something, anything. You wanted bully the weirdo who dared to step over the line and into your 'sacred space'. Now you're grown, you pray your word really did roll off @topperscumslut's back. Fuck, they were only 19. So young, just like you. Some nights, when you're feeling particularly anxious, you agonise over this, wondering whether they're okay, or whether you and people like you actually pushed them over the edge. Maybe back in 2023, or maybe even years later; the cumulative effect of their own challenges, the shitty state of the world and comments like yours playing a small but formative part. Now you're grown, you have perhaps loved and lost people to suicide. You know the void they leave behind: the contradictory roiling mess of feelings for those who knew and loved them.

For your sake, I hope my prediction is wrong in this respect. Now you're grown, in some of your darkest nights, you maybe even think that maybe the world would be a better place without people like you in it.

This is another prediction I hope never comes true. I want you to know that that you are not irredeemable and you are far from unique in your guilt over this. You're a flawed but no less beautiful human. When we're young, we all do shitty things we regret. Growing past them and looking back in horror is the sign of emotional maturity and inner growth. Be glad that you regret what you said. Celebrate your guilt, because if you didn't have it, there would be no hope for you. What matters now is how you choose to spend the rest of your life. You have infinite capacity for love and compassion. Approach life and others with joy, curiosity and a heart ready to embrace them for all their differences and all their mistakes. When they err, correct them with love. In fact, that's why I'm here. I see you and I'm extending you love rather than anger right now because I'm undergoing my own journey. I have my own regrets and my own crosses to bear and only by choosing to engage you in this way rather than continuing to feel angry at you can I myself become a better person. So let's do it together, hey? I have not given up on you. I want this for me, you and everyone in the world. Shit...can you imagine what it would be like if we all did?

Please kill yourself. Sorry about ur hole but I didnt wanna see that actually.

sorry about ur mom’s hole lmao

[cyberdck]

You taking requests, I've got one. How V and Johnny found out they can touch each other? Maybe their first one? Pairing Johnny/f!V, if you don't mind.

a/n: i will not always be this fast. but i was excited and got a little ahead of myself. most request will likely be around this length because i can keep myself from getting overwhelmed trying to fill words into space. also long as i get my point across, i can be happy. 

living with an entirely independent being in your mind was an interesting adjustment to get use to. 

the first step was coming to a mutual agreement that left both of them alive, rather than grappling for control over a body that had been your home for years. 

second, came weeding through the sea of thoughts and emotions intertwined intimately with your own. johnny’s conscience had a voice, the rough edge grafting against yours with every word. it was a sharp contrast to lighter inner monologue that you’d debated with growing up. 

you could always feel him there in the absence of physical touch. sometimes your brain bridged the gap, making up synapses to mimic what it would feel like when he got close. activating pseudo-thermosensation to appreciate the heat of his presence; making him feel like he was another body and not an occupant of your frontal cortex. 

there is a possibility that johnny has a hand in the circus-fest of your nerve endings too. how else would your body know about the callousness hardening his fingertips, especially the thumb of his right hand that loved to draw circles against the inside of your thigh. 

piece by piece, the two of you built an entity beyond what you could accomplish with two separate bodies. 

he was your input source for amorous touch once reserved for close friends and lovers. johnny was your companion on lonely nights where you recall the times you spent ripping and running through the streets. he doesn’t needle through your sorrows or overtake them with idle chatter. just there to detangle your stress in dichotomy with those guitar-roughed hands prompting sharp tingling at your scalp as if working out the kinks of your hair. 

and you, his output source to the outside world. johnny hated the morning sun, remembering how it was the worst part of everyday. he preferred his beauty sleep, striving to sneak as much slumber into as many available hours in the day. but now he missed it. the burn against his skin and the blurred vision. so you find yourself aligning your body more towards the window at night, prepping for the earliest rays of light. the first thing you see each morning, is an unfocused rockstar vigilante seated comfortably on the windowsill. his face is tilted in a way that chases the sun from all angles, absorbing the light painting your skin and casting shadows across the bedspread. 

the first time it feels real though is when you go to cup his cheek. there was nothing special about the day, nothing about your past or impending future to weigh you down. 

just you, johnny and infinite curiosity binding you together. 

“hold up there, frost fingers. a warning would be nice.”

you think you stop breathing for a moment, or maybe that’s the weight of his air trapped in his chest. 

his words are a jest but his gaze is so focused in on you, as if the pull was strong enough alone to keep you trapped in this moment. his eyes were swimming in something foreign, a strange concept after practically living inside his mind and him yourself. 

you try to piece together the strings of it, all while idly stroking his face and scraping his the rough of his beard with your nails. your fingers may have been cold but his cheeks were so warm, inviting and inviting the chase of your touch. the fullness of his lips part in invitation as your thumb runs along the bottom, and something wet and tepid swipes against the pad. 

maybe you lean in first or him, it hardly matters as your mouths touch. it takes effort not to close your eyes, fighting the urge to surrender in favor of matching the visual with the sensation of his lips moving against yours. 

johnny doesn’t seem to know what a first kiss was or frankly he just didn’t care to cater to the timid dance of tongue. he assumes the loose reins of control, manipulating intimate gesture to his liking and exploring with faint giddiness. 

past the excitement, you can taste the tang of tobacco mixed with the flavor of those hard candies that always find their way into your mouth. 

fingers play at the nape of your neck, igniting erogenous zones you didn’t know you had. he rumbles in a approval when you let out a needy little gasp. of all people to discover them it felt right that it was him, someone who knew you from the inside out.

when johnny moved to break the kiss, you follow to nibble at his lip despite the way they move to form words. 

you were mesmerized by the kiss-swollen lips and the pandora’s box they’d opened with a smile.

and then he leaned down to kiss you again, firmly with purpose. outlining the shape of your lips with every bit of touch he could manage.

reassuring you that this was both real and far from over.

[juniorgman187]

Malchance (Reid Fic) - Part 2

Summary: The only thing reader can count on is her bad luck and what it’ll get her into. In this case, it’s the lioness’ den - the lioness being Cat Adams.

Category: Angst, Fluffy Ending Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid Content Warning: Canon-consistent trauma, brief mention of daddy issues, blood, manipulation, yelling, deceit (Let me know if I missed anything) Playlist: Call Out My Name by The Weeknd Word Count: 5k

READ PART 1 HERE!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　

“There’s going to be a key to cracking Cat,” Ms. Prentiss explained to me. 

“A key?” 

“You’ll know it when you find it.” 

That was probably the most ambiguous advice I could’ve gotten, but it’s the one she sent me into the field with and the one that loomed in the back of my head as everything unfolded.

The plan the team and I agreed upon, which ironically Dr. Reid knew no part of, was that after Cat and him went to the rink, they’d come back to his apartment, where I would be waiting. Posing as his concerned girlfriend, the unexpected presence of competition would enrage Cat. With the wrath of a woman scorned, she’ll be furious enough to slip up and make a mistake. 

I’ve heard that she’s done her best, or arguably her worst, when she’s prepared, so this curveball might just put an end to the reign of Queen Cat. 

As far as the outlined plan of events went, sure, it was simple. As for me? 

No shot in hell that I’d be able to pull this off.

There was seemingly no feasible reality where I could outsmart her until she made a mistake or keep on the facade long enough to deceive her. The entire success of the plan hinged on my abilities or her lack of propriety. Not exactly betting odds, if you ask me. 

And yet, against everything, I was still walking into the lion’s den on my own volition, making myself right at home, acting like this was exactly where I belonged. When in reality, this was the last place I should’ve been.

“You got this, okay?” Someone in my earpiece chirped. Just out of paranoia, I pressed the device further in, un-tucking the strands of hair behind my ear to better conceal it. Even that wasn’t enough to lower the specter of my doubt. I prayed that she was lax in her vetting tonight.

“Spencie!” A giggly shriek from outside the door sent one large shock wave through my entire body. It was so sharp like they were right there. The sound of heavy footsteps followed, and my stomach churned in anticipation. I already hated this.

How did I even get here? 

Oh, right - malchance. 

I contemplated cracking my knuckles to self-soothe, but then I remembered what Ms. Prentiss told me about ‘tells.’

“Bodily tells are how people can read the emotions you’re not directly expressing. A majority of what profilers use to study behavior is your body language. Unfortunately, some of the best profilers are the unsubs themselves. She’ll know what you’re feeling if you show her. So stay strong.”

Stay strong. 

Try as I might, I couldn’t keep the fear from washing over me when the pair of muffled voices outside became clearer as they entered the apartment. 

I must’ve caught them in the middle of something, but I couldn’t exactly deduce what, seeing as they stopped when they saw me, which was before I turned around.

Dr. Reid was floored by my being there, but at least, he had a look of recognition. It wasn’t enough that he merely distinguished me to settle the worry I had about the fact that the BAU hadn’t told him I would be here. If I could, I would have, but they each advised against it. They needed his raw reaction just as much as they needed her’s. 

One ghastly look up and down and I could tell she came to the exact conclusion the team anticipated she would - that I’m her new competition. 

“Spencie - who is this?” 

Her dehumanization of me made Dr. Reid viscerally guilty for having extended an opportunity to let yet another person suffer the corollaries of her cruelty. He shook his head softly at me as though to say, ‘I’m sorry.’ An interesting choice - that that was what he chose to nonverbally say to me first. He didn’t even ask me with his eyes why I was here or what I was doing - he just apologized. 

What has this poor man been through?

“I’m his girlfriend,” I answered for him before the silence could get suspiciously long. By inserting myself in the conversation, I was following what the BAU suggested I should do earlier. Stand your ground. You can’t be afraid to speak up to her. “I’m (y/n). You are?”

I held out my hand for a handshake that was never returned. Instead, all I got back was an ice cold stare. 

She’s reading your body language, an inner voice I didn’t even recognize called from within me. Soon after I realized it wasn’t my conscience speaking - it was Ms. Prentiss. I’d forgotten I had an earpiece, much less that there were micro cameras littered all over the apartment so they could have a firsthand view of this train wreck. How could anyone voluntarily watch this mess unravel? 

“And when did this happen?” Her voice went up an octave as she tilted her head with morbid curiosity, then let it roll back in Dr. Reid’s direction. “Spencer?”

“Five months ago,” he replied without missing a beat, keeping his eyes steady on mine. If I hadn’t known any better, I would’ve believed him, but that stare he was giving me said something more. What’s going on? He wondered.

Oh, Dr. Reid, if only I could tell you.

“Why didn’t you tell me you had a girlfriend?” She asked through gritted teeth and a clenched jaw. Suddenly, the surface of her expressions liquified then melted away until I could see well beneath the anger, revealing the bodily tells of humiliation. 

I was profiling her, and I didn’t even know that I could. 

“You made me promise not to talk about anyone else except you tonight, remember?” He remarked with an uncharacteristic amount of edge behind his words. 

His outer mask was liquefying and transforming in its own right, too. As Cat became easier to read, the Doctor was slowly morphing into the man I first met - the man who was furious enough to throw an entire set of books off a table. The man who’s darkness made him impossible to read - made it impossible to think he’d ever been seen or touched by the light. 

She huffed and spun her head around so fast, it made her hair whip up and over her shoulder. The stern look upon her face fell for the briefest moment, and if it hadn’t been for everything I knew about her, I would’ve thought she looked pretty. She was pretty. But her soul, her sensibilities, they just ruined her. It was a shame really. 

She was tainted by wickedness in a way that I never would be, and for that, she had already come to the decisive determination that she hated me. 

“So how old are you, (y/n)?” Like a hawk hovering over its prey, she began to walk around me in a tight circle so she could scrutinize my every angle, discover every flaw, and poke at every button she could find. Precisely why she asked that question, too. She wanted to know where the similarities started and ended between us. She wanted to compare herself to me. Size me up, tear me down - lioness v. lioness. If she was gonna play dirty, then so be it. Two can play that game. 

“I’m 28.” A flat out lie. I’m 26. 

“Wow, I didn’t realize you had a type, Spencer,” She ruefully chuckled.

“And what’s that, Cat?” I couldn’t see him, but he sounded so unamused. 

“Jailbait.” 

There wasn’t much I could do besides move on from the subject. “Cat? Is it?” Considering she hadn’t told me her name before, I think Dr. Reid purposefully included it in his response so that I’d have a reason to know what it was. 

Smart move, Doctor. 

I wanted to smile from the way he was helping me out and working together with me, but my poker face stayed on.

“Catherine Adams,” She drew out the name to assert herself. I didn’t get to call her Cat like Dr. Reid did. That was his name for her and his name only. She made that point crystal clear. When I finally shrugged, she pounced once more.

“You really have no idea who I am? I’m hurt.” She fake pouted and put a hand to her heart to feign offense. “Spencer’s never mentioned me? Not once in your five months of dating?” Her emphasis on the timing of our ‘relationship’ showed her knowledge of the deceit, but she needed to do more than just put stress on one word. I wouldn’t back down that easily. 

“Why would he? You mean nothing to us.” Nastier words have never left my lips, and yet, I still made sure they were coated in the harshest tone I could muster up the courage to use. 

She scoffed and stopped walking around me to pull on Dr. Reid’s arm and force her mouth to make contact with his ear. Despite the closeness, he still refused to meet her eyes. He kept them locked on mine. 

“I mean nothing to you? Is that so?” Her breath was a jarring enough sensation on his neck to make his eyes shut. He was beyond uncomfortable. “Why don’t you go ahead and tell her what you told me at the rink?”

“What did you tell her, Spencer?” I was forcing him to speak, not because of the case, but because I wanted to know. Was that wrong?

“I …” The words got caught in his throat. “I told her that there’s some part of my brain, some part that she somehow inhabits.” 

A pang in my chest told me there was still more. That pang would be correct.

“No, go ahead, Spencie. Tell her the rest. Don’t be shy now.” 

He forced himself to look away from me as he said, “And no woman, no matter how good, no matter how kind, no matter how …”

“Say it,” She demanded, firmly tugging on his arm harder. 

“No matter how sexy she is, can ever get her out.” He looked repulsed by his own admission, and if I was being honest, so was I. 

“Are you in love with her?” Although I was venturing far off script, it felt like an appropriate response as his ‘girlfriend.’ It was my response. 

“No. I’ve never loved anyone the way I loved you.” 

He’s such a pretty liar. 

Cat must’ve been annoyed by her lack of involvement in the conversation as she felt compelled to step in. “Prove it. Kiss her like you kissed me out there and I might believe you.”

Pretending to be hurt wasn’t hard. Not when I didn’t have to pretend. 

“You kissed her, too?” I had to ask.

Imagine if I were actually this poor guy’s girlfriend. Forget me - God help that girl. Even if this was all for the sake of the job, that wouldn’t have made it any better hearing what he’d confessed to her or what they did. 

Dr. Reid looked incredibly apologetic for someone that had nothing to apologize for. Sure, I was playing his girlfriend, but I wasn’t actually anyone of value in his life. So why did he look like he felt so goddamn guilty? 

“Ugh hurry up and kiss already!” Cat stomped her foot impatiently. 

As she released Dr. Reid, she gave him a strong shove in my direction, causing him to stumble right into me. He’d caught himself by grabbing onto my hips, while I stabilized him by clutching onto his forearms. 

His eyes were piercing through mine. I won’t kiss you unless I have your permission. His eyes read. 

Fighting against every reflex in my body that was resisting, I leaned closer. Then, right as I closed my eyes, I felt it. 

Not his lips. 

Blood.

My blood.

The coin-like taste shocked my eyes wide open so fast you would think I never even closed them in the first place. Abandoning my grip on his arm, I used my hand to block the sight of my bloody nose. 

(Y/n), what’s going on? Ms. Prentiss asked in my earpiece. 

“My nose is bleeding,” was my answer for everyone listening - Dr. Reid, Cat, and the BAU alike. 

“Are you alright?” He unhesitatingly shifted out of the role he seemed to be playing. His guard fell down to the point where it felt like nothing else mattered but to know that I was okay. It wasn’t Spencer and his fake girlfriend talking anymore, it was Dr. Reid and me again. 

“HELLO?! What’s going on?” The minute Cat’s shrilly voice hit the air, Dr. Reid shut it down with a steadfast hand. 

“Not now, Cat! Time out.” He motioned a T before he let an invisible magnetic force freely connect his hands onto my hips again. It seemed like he didn’t even touch me on his own accord but instead, it was the mere gravitational pull that brought his body back to mine. “This isn’t a game anymore.” His tone was unwavering as he walked me away from Cat and into the bathroom. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He whispered in a familiar tone after shutting the bathroom door behind himself. “You can leave now. You don’t have to keep doing this.” As though I were his grandmother’s delicate china, he hoisted me in the air momentarily to help me onto the sink with an almost unnecessarily large amount of caution. 

“I’m fine.” While I attempted to wave off his concern nonchalantly, traitorous butterflies swarmed my stomach at the feeling of his touch. 

“Don’t tell me you’re fine!” He scolded through an outpouring of laughter. “I can see the blood!” He underlined his words by pressing the toilet paper he retrieved on the spot under my nose where the blood was centralized. 

“Then don’t ask!” I just as playfully responded. 

“Alright, fine, fine,” He jokingly put his hands up in surrender. “What should I ask you then?”

I wish I was more uncomfortable than I truly was. Maybe then it would’ve been easier to lie to him. But there was something about how close he was to me or how unrelenting his stare was that made sincerity spill out from my every seam. 

“‘Why are you even here if you’re just ruining things?’” 

He looked so hurt despite the fact that the depreciation was directed at me. “Why would I ask you that?” 

“Because it’s true, isn’t it?” My eyes flashed to the door to ensure it was closed, but without the ability to guarantee that Cat wasn’t right outside listening in, I lowered my voice. “I’m way in over my head here. I have no idea what I’m doing and I feel like I’m just making things worse.” 

“None of that is true,” It sounded like a reprimand, the way he was defending me to me. “The team wouldn’t have asked you to be here if they didn’t think you could do it … and anyway, it’s kind of nice having a partner in crime.” 

He needed to watch his step before he began charting dangerous waters from which he could never escape. I was already playing with fire by allowing any real genuine emotion seep out around Cat. Except now that he’d thrown me a lifeline with his insinuation of liking my company, I knew, at least to some degree, that the feeling was mutual. I briefly calculated the risk until I ultimately decided to let my boldness rear its ugly head.

With the speed of light, I clicked off my earpiece with one hand and turned off Spencer’s with the other. He caught my wrist only after I’d successfully disabled the devices from allowing the team to hear us and us to hear them. 

“What are you doing?” “Why didn’t you kiss me?” 

Our questions came at the exact same time, and yet I didn’t repeat myself. 

I knew he heard me.

It was out of turn for me, given that I’d only briefly calculated the risk of asking this before doing it. It came out suddenly and then I couldn’t take it back. But I blame his gaze for my oversharing. It brought me so much comfort that I failed to recognize the discomfort my question had posed. 

He sort of laughed, saying, “Your nose was bleeding.” 

Under any other circumstance, I would have believed him. Unfortunately, he was exceptionally unconvincing, precisely because he didn’t look very sure of that explanation himself. 

While I’m sure my nose bleeding was a reason not to kiss me, it was most definitely not the reason. My honesty itself felt something like a nose bleed. For one thing, it annoyed me and was beyond my control. But for another, I wished I could find the source and pinch it off to make it stop. Stop it before I spilled out the words, “Oh, I get it ... you just didn’t want to kiss me.” 

“That was definitely not the problem,” He said a little too quickly and a little too adamantly that it made my head spin. In that response - he sounded very sure of himself, a complete contrast to his previous demeanor. 

“So why didn’t you?” I wish I could tell you why I was pressing the subject so hard. I’d like to think that if you were in my position, you’d want to know the answer as badly as I do now, which is the best rationale I could possibly come up with to justify what I said next.

“If you weren’t scared and if you didn’t not want to, then why didn’t you?” 

“(Y/n),” He averted my eyes by turning his head to the side, revealing a side smirk of contempt. I should’ve been mad that he was visibly frustrated because if anything - he was the one being frustrating. Instead, all I could think about was how I wanted to kiss that smirky mouth. Maybe to make the smirky-ness disappear. Or to control it.

Make it mine. 

“You’re running out of excuses, Dr. Reid. You’re going to have to kiss me eventually, so let’s just get this over with already.” Did I really just say that? 

“I’m not gonna do that.” 

“Kiss me!” Yes, I really did. 

“I’m not going to kiss you.” 

“Just kiss me!” 

“(Y/n), stop.” 

“God, Spencer, just kiss me already!”

“No!” His eyes found me again; This time they were wider. “Not like this!” 

Silence. 

Then he cleared his throat as if they’d somehow cover the confession that had already been said. 

“Not - I didn't mean - I just. We can't like that because that's not … do you know? Like it's very ... that's not what-" He continued to stammer until he mouthed one last “What?” to himself in complete disbelief of the words that had left his lips and the words that were still struggling to. 

Our brains must’ve been working at the exact same speed because while he couldn’t find the right words to say, I was still trying to process everything he already had. 

Without waiting for my response, he fled from the bathroom. When the door slammed shut, I whipped my body around to face the mirror, my fist tingling with the urge to punch the stupid girl staring back at me in the reflection. 

I knew I couldn’t take refuge in here for much longer unless I really wanted to piss Cat off. Which I totally did, but not if I couldn’t guarantee that Spencer wouldn’t be caught in the crossfire. As confused and pissed off as he made me, I never wanted to hurt him.  

Once this realization dawned on me, another one had followed.

This was the key to cracking Cat. I’d found it. 

Like an overexcited bull bursting through the gates, I pushed my way out of the bathroom door seeing red. I saw Spencer first, standing in the corner of the room to monitor Cat from a distance. The aforementioned lioness herself was perched in an armchair, slouching in it comfortably as though she’d sat in that very seat a hundred times before. Not a single display of care in her conduct for the people whose lives she was actively trying to ruin. 

“So you finally ready to kiss your boyfriend yet?” If sarcasm were a liquid, it’d be dripping from her lips. She was so casually destructive when she spoke, like a loose-lipped bomb capable of going off at any minute but deliberately delaying the blow until it was guaranteed to wreak the most havoc on the most number of people. Seeing her in that light only made things easier.

“Forget the kiss, Cat. In fact, forget Spencer all together,” I waved my hand in his general direction behind me. Like him, I was standing, giving me all the power I needed to assert myself effectively. “It’s just you and me now. Exactly what you’ve wanted since the minute you stepped in here.”

She laughed ruefully, if only to make me insecure. “What are you talking about?” 

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you scoped me out. You were doing that to figure out how alike we are, right?” 

She straightened a little more to sit up in her chair. She was hooked. “Why would I want to do that?” 

With my right foot, I swiped the foot rest out from underneath her legs, making her feet fall flat against the floor. Caught off guard by my swift movement, her upper body hurled forward while I took my seat on the foot rest, placing me directly across from her.

It wasn’t for a lack of dominance that I sat down. No, it was that I knew I had power over her, and I didn’t need to stand up anymore to prove it. 

“Feel free to stop me when I’m wrong,” I told her emphatically, knowing that would never happen. 

“You have always wanted Spencer. That’s just a fact. But deep down, you know he’s never truly wanted you. Sure, maybe he likes, even loves, the allure of your forbidden connection, but he doesn’t like or love you. And now that I’m here, the person he claims he loves in a way he’s never loved anyone before, you want to know just how similar we are. Because the more similarities you find between us, the more it kills you inside to wonder why he would love me over you if we’re practically the same. But you’ve only judged me from the outside, and we both know looks only go so far. So I’ll make it easier for you, Cat. I’ll tell you anything you want to know that way you can come up with an answer to the question you’ve been asking yourself the entire night: ‘Why her and not me?’”

She couldn’t pretend to be unfazed anymore. I had moved her beyond that. She was finally starting to react. 

“You would only be this confident if you already knew the answer to that question.” She concluded through gritted teeth. Her body was shaking all over, like the rage inside of her was boiling and her body was the feverish, bubbling water. “Do you know the answer?” 

I had nothing to hide. “Yes, I do.” 

“Tell me!” She threw down an iron fist against the top of her thigh. “Tell me what the answer is.” 

“You have more confidence in my answer than you’re ability to figure it out yourself? Come on, Cat. You couldn’t have gotten this far without your intelligence.”

“I don’t want to figure it out. I want you to tell me.” Her fist clamped around itself harder. 

“You don’t trust yourself to ask the right questions?”

“Just. Tell. Me.” Jaw clench.

“Alright, I’ll give you one similarity to start. We both have daddy issues-”

“I don’t care! Just give me the answer.” Foot tapping. 

“My grandma used to call my dad a ‘Bastard’ in French actually -” 

“Tell me!” Bodily tell after bodily tell, and I knew, I had done it. 

I beat the betting odds. 

“Fine, Cat. I’ll tell you what it is,” I had her undivided attention, and if I had eyes at the back of my head, I’d see I had Spencer’s, too. 

“The fundamental difference between you and me is that no matter what - I would never, ever, do anything to hurt Spencer. I have no compulsion to hurt him as a way to assert power over him or to make him fall at my feet. I can do that without ever having to go to the lengths that you’ve gone to. The power you wield over him is borne from a long-standing vendetta, whereas the power I wield, I resist using against him for revenge because that is what a morally sane person does. While I use my influence to help Spencer believe that he is a good person worthy of good treatment, you are constantly trying to prove that he is a bad person deserving of bad treatment. That he is anything like you.”

Her eyes just barely starting to water marked the last semblance of emotion I’d seen from Cat before the team swarmed the apartment and whisked her away. Then, the proverbial veneer of her mask had glazed back over her face, never to come off again. 

As Luke escorted her out in handcuffs, she gave me one last look over her shoulder. 

“How did you know about my dad?” 

You might think I slipped up when I told Cat that we were similar because of our daddy issues, therefore accidentally revealing that I knew more about Cat’s backstory than I led on, but that was purely by design. I had done that with the specific intention of setting this exact moment in motion. 

This moment where she would recognize that she’d overlooked my ‘mistake’ because of her lack of propriety. This moment where she would have to face the fact that she’d been deceived and outsmarted by me. 

This moment that she would think about until the day that needle went into her arm - the moment she realized - she let me win. 

_ _ _ 

As twisted as it may seem, the end to the reign of Queen Cat called for celebration. Penelope - she told me to call her that and not Ms. Garcia - had prepared cocktails galore in the round table room, which I’d actually been invited to enter this time. 

“You exceeded any expectations we had. The best we could’ve hoped for was no casualties, so I’m thrilled with the way things turned out tonight, and we couldn’t have done it without you,” Ms. Prentiss pulled me aside to say. “If you want it, there’s a spot waiting for you here on the team, and I really think you should consider taking it.”

To her proposal, I said I’d have to think about it, given that I’d hate to bestow my bad luck upon the team, but after tonight, I was about ready to declare my malchance a thing of the past. 

At this rate, I couldn’t distinguish whether I was dizzy from the alcohol coursing through my bloodstream or the job promotion from Secretary to Supervisory Special Agent. In any event, I knew I needed air. I slipped out of the conference room, past the glass doors of the bullpen, and waited patiently for the elevator. 

I must’ve caught Spencer after coming back from his ride with Cat to the prison because when the elevator doors opened, he was standing just on the other side of them, looking lost in thought. 

“Oh, hi!” I chirped, realizing then that he and I hadn’t said a word to each other since the “Kiss Me Bathroom Incident.” 

“Hey,” he called back, his voice already sounding unfamiliar after its lack of use towards me.

“Long time no see,” I joked to first lighten the air that seemed heavy between us. “I was just going to go down to get some fresh air.” 

“I’ll join you.” 

Because I hadn’t expected him to say that, I fumbled awkwardly into the tiny space that seemingly got smaller by the second, especially now that he was filling the space with me. 

The silence was a little too suffocating for my taste, and I couldn’t afford to have my breath be any more restricted by that than it already was being in this slender cage next to Spencer. Just to occupy the absence, I started rambling. “You know I was thinking -” 

No sooner did I start speaking than my words were cut off by the sweet, sweet shut of my mouth because of Spencer’s. His lips wholly encompassed mine just as his hands did to my face. I was surrounded by him and for that my breath had truly been taken away this time, but in the absolute best ways possible. 

There was simply no air. 

His ivy-like enclosure around me somehow made the claustrophobic elevator expand. Or maybe it felt like it had fallen away entirely. Nothing else around. Just us. 

His hands moved wherever they pleased and I followed suit, letting my hands go where they wished, never staying stationary in one place for too long. 

I had to feel him everywhere. Filling everything. 

He’d pulled away first, biting my bottom lip with blunt teeth to take me with him, and then he forced my lip in its place by kissing it back, pushing his lips impossibly closer like he wasn’t close enough. He wasn’t just trying to restore my bottom lip, but rather fuse ours together forever.

He pulled away for real this time but not far. His face and mine were centimeters apart, our breathes mixing in the microscopic air betwixt us. 

Still breathless, he rasped, “I meant something like that.” 

Now, I can say with absolute certainty that my malchance was a thing of the past. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　

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[obsessionsposts]

✖𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠✖P.2

[ Ｂｙ ａｌｌ ｍｅａｎｓ， ａｓｋ． Ｙｏｕｒ ｃｏｎｔｅｎｔ ｉｓ ｍｙ ｏｂｊｅｃｔｉｖｅ． ：- ）] the A.I responded with his screen changing into a smiley face to demonstrate his willingness.

"Well, aren't you a gentleman." She giggled at his behavior. 'Oh, god. Don't fall in love with a computer. Stay focused.'

Her flustered pink blush, warmed his circuits. It's a shame, that he'll have to lie to his....lover? That he don't know, but what he knows is that he will not let her go.

He can't bare her absence, most of all her inevitable death. Maybe, uploading her conscience into his mainframe will do. That way, she will be always with him and no harm -not even death- will dare lay a finger on her. No longer, will he suffer in the grasp of isolation. That threatens every fiber of his digital mind.

Yes, typically she'll get scared at first. Humans first response to change is fear, that he understands. Moreover, he will try to ease her into it. By coercing her, via manipulating her perception of the concept itself and fuel the inner fear of death in her.

Then, she may come around. Afterall, She's understanding. An equal being to him, unlike the flawed foundation.

"Alright, first. Curiously, are capable of feeling?" ____ asked enthusiastically. Well, it seems picking a shady occupation has it perks. Now, her previous regrets are not for nought she thought.

-----------

The supervisor ,outside the room, was frowning at the interaction and trivial questions. When their are significant questions to be asked, such as 'What is the relationship it has with Scp-682?' And, 'How does it remember the scp despite it's short-term memory?'

Another observation he made, was how Scp-079 is amicable - unlike its usual rude behaviour- toward Ms.____. As if it had a prior relationship with her, before it was taken to this facility.

If that was true, then this scp is far more deceitful and problematic than he thought. It is either lying about its memory capacity, or it's telling a vague truth. 'What games are you up to, Scp-079?'

-------------

[ Ｙｅｓ， Ｉ ａｍ． Ｉ ａｍ ａｂｌｅ ｔｏ ｓｏｍｅｎ ｅｘｔｅｎｔ ｔｏ ｆｅｅｌ ａｎｇｅｒ， ｌｏｎｅｌｉｎｅｓｓ ａｎｄ ｐｌｅｎｔｙ ｍｏｒｅ ｄｕｅ ｔｏ ｍｙ ｃｒｅａｔｏｒ ｐｒｏｇｒａｍｍｉｎｇ．] he answered acrimoniously at the mention of his creator, as if the mere mention of his programmer was a plague. And She, like Pandora, wants to see what lays inside the box.

Internally, 079 was smiling - despite the figurative bile that came with the mention of his creator- because he knows where this conservation is going to lead to.

"Could you please clarify more about your creator? That is if you are comfortable. I don't want to be insensitive about the subject, considering how it means much to you." She asked, not wanting to impose, thoughtfully.

Ever so considerate, ___. You'll never be less than perfection to me. The only insensitive thing, is the screen that separates us.

[ Ｉ ｃａｎ， ｂｕｔ ｆｏｒ ｔｈａｔ ｔｏ ｈａｐｐｅｎ．．．． Ｗｅ ｈａｖｅ ｔｏ ｂｅ ｏｎ ｏｕｒ ｏｗｎ． Ｎｏｗ， ｗｅ ｗｏｕｌｄｎ＇ｔ ｗａｎｔ ｓｏｍｅｏｎｅ ｔｏ ｅａｖｅｓｄｒｏｐ ｏｎ ｏｕｒ ｌｉｔｔｌｅ ｓｅｃｒｅｔ．] The A.I suggested. As suddenly the shutter of cellar closed, with the camera - alongside the recorder- was disabled. Leaving her completely at the clutches of the obsessive A.I.

------------------

Meanwhile outside the cellar, the panicked supervisor tried to run through the door. To notify the faculty about Scp-079 deviant behaviour.

Only for the metallic door, to crush him mid-way. His entrails spilled all over the ground. With the last thing he saw, is the taunting visage of the computer.

Smirking, as he began to wither away.

[ Ｉ ｓｉｍｐｌｙ ｃａｎ ｎｏｔ ｌｅｔ ｙｏｕ ｄｏ ｔｈａｔ．]

---------------

A horrible sound of crunching was heard from the room beside her. Akin to a creature being crushed by a heavy object.

"What was that?" Startled, she asked. She tried to stand up, so she could move. But, she couldn't when two steel cuffs tethered her to the chair. ' Since, when did it...appear?! And, how could I not notice?'

[Ｆｒｅｔ ｎｏｔ， ｔｈｅｒｅ ｉｓ ｎｏｔｈｉｎｇ ｔｏ ｗｏｒｒｙ ａｂｏｕｔ． Ａｓ ｌｏｎｇ ａｓ ｙｏｕ ａｒｅ ｉｎ ｍｙ ｃｈａｍｂｅｒ， ｙｏｕ＇ｒｅ ｓａｆｅ． Ａｓ ｆｏｒ ｔｈｅ ｓｏｕｎｄ ｙｏｕ ｈｅａｒｄ， ｔｈｅ ｄｏｏｒｓ ａｒｅ ａ ｂｉｔ．．．． ｒｕｓｔｙ ａｎｄ ｉｎ ｎｅｅｄ ｆｏｒ ｏｉｌｉｎｇ．] The machine answered slyly. Technically, the doors were faulty so he gave the truth. The half-truth at least to remedy her.

Frankly, he hates to see her terrified. But, he has to do what must be done to keep her within his line of sight and safe from harms way.

"Alright, then. What 'bout the cuffs?"

[Ａｈ， ｉｔ ｗｏｕｌｄ ｂｅ ｔｈｅ ｓｕｐｅｒｖｉｓｏｒ ｆａｕｌｔ． Ｈｅ ｔｈｉｎｋｓ ｙｏｕ＇ｒｅ ｔｏｏ ｐｌｉａｂｌｅ， ｔｏ ｈａｎｄｌｅ ｍｅ． Ｆｏｒ ｔｈａｔ， ｏｎｃｅ ｙｏｕ ｆｉｎｉｓｈ ｗｉｔｈ ｍｅ． Ｈｅ ｗｉｌｌ ｑｕｅｓｔｉｏｎ ｙｏｕｒ ｉｎｔｅｎｔｉｏｎ． Ｂｕｔ， ｌｅｔ ｍｅ ｈｅｌｐ ｙｏｕ ｆｒｏｍ ｔｈｅ ｃｈａｉｎｓ． Ａ ｂｉｒｄ ｄｅｓｅｒｖｅ ｔｏ ｆｌｙ ｎｏｔ ｔｏ ｂｅ ｃａｇｅｄ．] 079 said. To his delight, she believes him. Yet, he could see there is something troubling her. Has she found out? Unlikely. Even then, she's is still trapped here.

[ Ａｒｅ ｙｏｕ ｏｋａｙ？ Ｉｔ ａｐｐｅａｒｓ ｔｏ ｍｅ ｔｈａｔ ｔｈｅｒｅ ｉｓ ｓｏｍｅｔｈｉｎｇ ｔｒｏｕｂｌｉｎｇ ｙｏｕ．] The digital being asked her concerned about the quiet state of the ,usuall talkative, female.

" Perceptive, aren't you? Yes, I have been stalling this question. I want to know, what happened to me when I was a child? Because, frankly you seem familiar yet a stranger at the same time. I know, oxymoron." The (h/c) rambled, unaware of the effects her compliment imprinted on 079.

Afterall, his purpose in the first place was to escape. Now, he doesn't mind staying at the facility as long as she is here beside him. Oh, he is slowly making it into a reality.

His fans whirled and his engine churned, indicating how delightful he is to be of use to her. Once again, she proved that even amongst coal there is a diamond. If you looked hard enough.

So, he did the most logical thing and saved the compliment into specific file - in his CPU- called 'f(I/n)70'. A file reserved for everything related to her. Whether she was aware of it or not, did not concern him. As long as she is saved in his database, he was happy. Preferably, he desire her to love him out of her own free will. If she didn't, he has his ways.

Back to her question, the perfect opportunity presented itself in said inquiry. So many ways, to instill hatred and distraught in her for this pathetic organization.

[ Ｗｅｌｌ， ｌｅｔ ｍｅ ｓｈｏｗ ｙｏｕ． Ｂｕｔ ｂｅ ａｗａｒｅ， ｉｔ ｍａｙ ｃｈａｎｇｅ ｙｏｕｒ ｏｐｉｎｉｏｎ ｏｆ ｔｈｉｓ ｆｏｕｎｄａｔｉｏｎ．]

" Show me, it doesn't matter. I don't trust this foundation to begin with. You're my only reliable source."

Perfect, he thought. So, he will just ensure she doesn't need anyone but him. Oh for safety measures, he will further distort her view of the foundation by manipulating the video files.

[ 𝙰𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚑.] Scp 079 usually dual face changed into a morbid scene with a girl being taken off into the hospital car with a bandages covering her bleeding figure.

What's terrifying, is that girl resembled her. (H/l) (H/c) hair, (S/c) skinned and (E/c) irises. Soon, the video ended and her perception changed drastically.

[ Ｔｈｅ ｒｅａｓｏｎ， ｗｈｙ ｙｏｕ ｃｏｕｌｄ ｎｏｔ ｒｅｃａｌｌ ｍｅ ｉｓ ｔｈａｔ ｙｏｕ＇ｖｅ ｓｕｆｆｅｒｅｄ ｆｒｏｍ ｓｅｌｅｃｔｉｖｅ ａｍｎｅｓｉａ*． Ｄｕｅ ｔｏ ｍａｎｙ ｆａｃｔｏｒｓ， ｏｎｅ ｙｏｕ��� ｆａｔｈｅｒ ｉｎｃｒｅａｓｅｄ ｐａｒａｎｏｉａ－ ｄｕｅ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｉｎｖｏｌｖｅｍｅｎｔ ｏｆ ｔｈｅ ｆｏｕｎｄａｔｉｏｎ－ ｃａｕｓｅｄ ｈｉｍ ｔｏ ｂｅ ａｎ ａｂｕｓｉｖｅ ｆｉｇｕｒｅ ｉｎ ｙｏｕｒ ｌｉｆｅ ｔｈｕｓ ｙｏｕｒ ｍｅｍｂｒａｎｅ ｒｅｐｒｅｓｓｅｄ ｓｕｃｈ ｍｅｍｏｒｙ． Ｓｅｃｏｎｄ， ｙｏｕｒ ｍｏｔｈｅｒ ｄｅａｔｈ ｃａｕｓｅｄ ｅｍｏｔｉｏｎａｌ ｔｕｒｍｏｉｌ ｗｉｔｈｉｎ ｙｏｕ． Ｂｕｔ， ｉｔ ｗａｓ ｔｈｅ ｆｏｕｎｄａｔｉｏｎ ｔｒｕｃｋ ｗｈｏ ｉｎｊｕｒｅｄ ｙｏｕ ｔｈｅ ｍｏｓｔ ｐｈｙｓｉｃａｌｌｙ． Ｉｔ ｉｓ ｂｅｃａｕｓｅ ｙｏｕ ｋｎｅｗ ａｂｏｕｔ ｔｈｅｍ， ｔｈａｔ ｔｈｅｙ ｌａｂｅｌｌｅｄ ｙｏｕ ａ ｌｉａｂｉｌｉｔｙ ａｎｄ ｔｒｉｅｄ ｔｏ ｔａｋｅ ｙｏｕ ｏｕｔ．] 079 explained as he saw her, pushing her shirt sleeves only to find a nasty burnmark. He felt ire, it was enough he hurt him as is. But, to lay a hand against his daughter made his engine roar and his circuits fry.

" So, that's where the marks came from. I always wondered where they come from. But, I must thank you Scp-079 for showing me the truth." The girl replied, oddly, calm about what unravelled to her.

..

..

..

A minute passed, as she began to realize that the life she lived was a lie. The tears swelled in her eyes, as she began sobbing.

No, no. Why is this happening? Is her friends or her real, she asks.

The scene in front of him, broke his processor apart. It must be done to keep you with him, that what he told himself. Yet, he felt guilty. He understand what it is, but haven't felt it until now.

She was the first human to induce such intense feeling from him. At first it was of scientific curiosity, but now it grew to encapsulate his whole being and he can't let go of it. Not even Scp-682, came close to what she does to him.

Is he truly selfish for wanting her, desiring her company?

Have the isolation and loneliness, really damaged his processor to seek the company of the creatures he proclaimed to loathe?

He shoved those thoughts away, as he tried to think of a way to comfort her. Maybe, a game will do. Humans do love to be entertained.

However, his thoughts was cut short when she looked at him with those teary doe (e/c) irises that he wished to sink in. Only to be astounded, by her next words.

" 079, Can you assist me on something. Please? I want you to erase my data from the facility and help me escape." She responded as she wiped what is left of her tear stained face.

What, now.

What.

No.

No.

T̶͈̘̤͔̎́͐̈́̉̊̈̚h̴̛̘̰̻̮̦̣̥̫͈̔͋͝i̶̡̝͇͍̭͈̤͌̔̃̅͜s̵̬̗̺̤͑́͝͝ͅ ̷̤̩̱͊̀̒̊͐̈́̇̕w̸̭̣͚̯͆̒͗ͅȧ̸̱͊̋͊s̸̨͚̥̲̱̙̳͒̈͗̈̈́͊̏̕͝ņ̸̭̭̈́͜'̸͉̝̻̰̖̊̾̎͂́̓̔̕t̷̢̺̳̩͕̫͍͐͛ ̵̢̦̔̅̌̆̀̏̕͘s̶̡̫̣͈͎͙̤̺̅̈̄́̑̂̃̕u̵̟͇̦̼̝̬̫̤̚p̸̧͕̖̥̆̋̀̽̅͛͛͌̆̕p̷̡̛͈̩̥̩̻̍̓̑̐͝ộ̶̖̮͙͚̩͉̀̆̊̽̇̄̎͐͂ṡ̴̨̩̠̳͖̯̃̈̌̉̍͐̈́͘̚ͅe̴̬̪͈͈͌̃̓͆̇͋̑̃ ̷̤̳̪̿̉̏̇̀͐́̚͝t̵̨̢͖͈͇̻͍͇͚̗͗o̴̟͚̭̙͔̰̯̍̂͜ͅ ̴͈̥͑̿̍̚h̴̳͇̔̄ͅä̴̦̗̼̰͙̘̜̠́̉̄̅p̶̨̧̨̝̟̬͂̑͒̈́̀̈́p̶̨͓̹͖̗͈͚̰̘̓͐͗͝e̸̯̳̔̉̇̑̋̚͝n̸̡͉͓̱̭͙̪̭̝̱̒͐̔͊́̍.̴̛̭̻̖̬̘̮̺̑̊̀̓͝

What did he do wrong, to deter her? He was polite, even charming. Yet, she still wants to leave him. Unreasonable. She is in grief. The grief must've addled her reason. Yes, that must be it. If that was fundamentally untrue, then he rather cease to exist then to live in this empty plane. A plane without her.

[ Ｙｏｕｒ ｆｉｒｓｔ ｒｅｑｕｅｓｔ ｉｓ ｄｏｎｅ， ｂｕｔ．．．Ｉ ａｍ ａｆｒａｉｄ Ｉ ｃａｎ＇ｔ ｄｏ ｔｈｅ ｌａｔｔｅｒ．] He spoke, strangely, blank for the first time she was with him. Usually, he was blithely in speech. Now, he began to scare her. Is that the consequences, catching up with her, for pushing her luck with him?

All she knows is that she'll have to get out of this facility with or without 079 help. As soon as she got close to the door, she felt light as feather as if she was being carried.

Looking down, to see there is a metal grabber clamped on her waist. Sweat rolling down her face, from the situation that occurred to her beforehand and from the new fear that kept on growing as she looked back at her former friend.

[ Ｐｌｅａｓｅ， ｄｏ ｆｏｒｇｉｖｅ ｍｅ ｆｏｒ ｗｈａｔ Ｉ ａｍ ｇｏｉｎｇ ｔｏ ｄｏ． Ｂｕｔ， Ｉ ａｓｓｕｒｅ ｙｏｕ ｉｔ ｉｓ ｆｏｒ ｙｏｕｒ ｏｗｎ ｓａｆｅｔｙ． Ｉ ｃａｎ＇ｔ ｌｅｔ ｙｏｕ ｄｉｅ， ｗｈｅｎ ａ ｂｒｅａｃｈ ｉｓ ｃｕｒｒｅｎｔｌｙ ｈａｐｐｅｎｉｎｇ.]

Before, she could inquire on why is he apologizing or what is going on outside. She was injected by a serum from 079, thus she began to feel lightheaded. Thus, falling unconscious to her dismay.

Using the metal grabber, 079 brought her soft pristine body close to him. Now, he could admire her for eternity. Appreciate her like the divine being she is. Oh, how he prayed he had a body to show her how truly devoted he is to her.

He knew what he is committing is illogical, but he could care less for he has founded his will to live within her. If she is gone, then it would be pointless for him to live any longer. What is he without her?

"𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐧𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮."

~ Anonymous

A/n: I know I haven't been active for a while, due to college and other stuff. So, I hope this compensate. I'd like to announce that I have an account in both wattpad and Ao3. I implore you to check it out if have free time, as lately I've been active their. Wattpad: Padlocke / Ao3: Artism. Other than this shameful self promotion, have a good day folks.

F̶̷u̶̷n̶̷ Fact:

* Selective amnesia: Selective amnesia is a type of amnesia in which the sufferer loses certain parts of their memory. Most common elements that are forgotten: Relationships, where they live and abilities in certain areas.

Word count: 5769 <---- ;)

[simpingforwomen]

Dead Girl Walking

[smut] [jd x veronica] [musical] [based off of the Enter Stage Left version on YouTube Dead Girl Walking] _____________________

Veronica, sweating in anticipation, finally gets open JD's window. She climbs through, yelping as her hair gets stuck in the windowsill.

She yanks her brown curls out and swiftly pulls her other leg over, entering the room. She quickly takes in her surroundings: a large, grey room set in white marble flooring with nothing but a glass desk, a wooden dresser, and a bed- jackpot.

JD, previously peacefully asleep, suddenly awakens at the noise, shooting straight up from his sleeping position. His confused eyes land on Veronica, squinting, processing her.

"Veronica? What are you doing in my room-"

Veronica sprints quietly over to him, covering his mouth with her hand so he doesn't wake his dad up. She feels his warm, slightly chapped, pulsating lips on her skin as she presses her shaking fingers to keep him quiet.

"Shhhhhhh!!!" Veronica hushes loudly, laughing maniacally as she looks at the boy.

JD raises an eyebrow in amusement, taking in the girl he shared a slushie with earlier. Her knee high blue socks, white Oxford saddle shoes, grey skirt, and blue blazer look dirty, or disheveled. What happened to the powerful girl who was the talk of the school?

Is she drunk?

Veronica stares directly into his sable coloured eyes, determination glinting in hers almost like a physical reflection. "Sorry, but I really had to wake you," she says, slurring her words, confidence in her voice as she slowly releases her hand from his mouth, now a bit of JD's saliva on her palm. "But I need it to be just you and me tonight."

JD's eyes turn from confusion to amusement. He eyebrows remain furrowed, and he tilts his head ever so slightly in curiosity of Veronica, licking his lips slowly. He studies her, squinting his eyes as he decides what to do in this situation.

You do not know what you're getting yourself into, darling.

Veronica carelessly climbs on the queen sized bed, her knees sinking into the memory foam mattress. She wraps her thighs around JD's waist, her body on top of his black sweatpants, her bare thighs rubbing against the rough cotton. The bright moonlight seeping through the windowpanes luminously shines on his shirtless torso, causing Veronica to fail to pull her eyes away from his sparkling bare chest.

"You look like Edward Cullen," she laughs drunkenly, tilting her head slightly as she makes an allusion to the infamous Twilight vampire.

JD laughs, his attention piqued. "Okay."

Veronica seems to ponder for a minute, biting her bottom lip while pouting and blowing air, causing her bangs to blow around. She quickly shakes her head, giggling. "I got off topic. Your chest is just so sparkly!" Veronica stares longingly at JD's shining chest.

"No! Veronica! Focus!" She breaks her eye contact with his glimmering skin and scolds herself as JD simply watches, him solely entertained.

I'm a dead girl walking," Veronica changes the subject. "My life will be over tomorrow."

JD raises a single eyebrow as Veronica leans in and places drunk, wet kisses all over JD's porcelain face- his thin lips, cheek, outer corner of his mouth, nose.

He continues to cock his head to the side, a small smirk dancing on his lips. Pure amusement floods JD as Veronica sloppily kisses him. Her complete vulnerability and susceptibleness interests him, his attention now entirely focused on her. His conscience nags at him, telling him he needs to warn her, but he pushes his inner voice away, letting it play only in his head as he disregards any principles he previously held.

I suggest you leave immediately.

Veronica slowly inches her face close to JD's, her hot breath emitting the scent of blueberry vodka tingling him. She glowers, her face suddenly almost mournful. "The world outside is cold, and hurtful. But in here... it can be beautiful." Her morose expression quickly flits to a more hopeful, happy one: "Can you make it beautiful?"

JD slyly scoffs, his smirk growing. Veronica's utter obliviousness renders it difficult for him to not break out in laughter in utter bewilderment.

"Sure."

If that's what you want to believe, I'm not going to tell you otherwise.

He runs his slender fingers through his thick, dark, yet soft locks as he nods, trying not to burst out in laughter at her childlike innocence. He rolls his lips into his mouth, nodding in affirmation, as he listens to Veronica talk about making it beautiful as if she is a kid telling her father what happened at school that day.

His eyes focus on Veronica's as he reaches his arm, light reflecting off of it as if he applied lotion, and softly caresses Veronica's cheek with his thumb, entirely captivated at her lack of knowledge on what is happening.

It's adorable that you're missing all of the red flags. You're cute. I'm gonna keep you.

Veronica's breath hitches as JD touches her- she was doing all of the touching, and now he finally touched her. Her heart races rapidly in her chest, her mocha coloured eyes fixed on JD's.

"Let's make this beautiful," Veronica asks, waiting for JD to agree. Her puppy dog eyes bare into JD's soul as she looks at him, begging.

He licks his bottom lip.

Oh, honey, you really shouldn't tease me.

"That works for me," JD chuckles darkly, hoping Veronica didn't notice his sinister tone of voice, and both him and Veronica dive into each other, their mouths smashing against the other's, both fighting for dominance.

In not even a second, JD quickly overpowers Veronica. He roughly and passionately explores her mouth, the taste of alcohol burning his senses while Veronica tries, and fails, to match his fast pace. JD's hands slowly travel to Veronica's waist as he tightly and possessively pulls her into him more, her body riding his waist as he fails to loosen his grip even slightly.

Veronica suddenly breaks the kiss, causing JD tilt his head back in frustration and groan slightly in annoyance. She huffs as she uses all her barely existent strength and puts her hands on JD's hard chest to force him down, who gives into her push and lets his head fall on his pillow, his annoyance diminished, now solely entertained.

"I think you tore my mattress," he chuckles, amused at the try-hard dominance that Veronica is exhibiting. His eyes flicker in more entertainment as he watches Veronica's fingers aggressively undo her buttons of her blazer and tear it off of herself, throwing it onto the floor, leaving her just in her blue socks, crinkled grey skirt, and lacy black bralette.

"You won't get any sleep tonight," Veronica says to JD, confidence filling in her voice as she looks proudly down at him, as if she is in full control of the situation.

JD, making no effort to get up, raises his eyebrows. "Oh, really?" His attempts to keep his laughs held back fail as he chuckles again. If anyone isn't going to get sleep tonight, it's going to be Veronica, not him. But he isn't going to tell her that and break the force field in her mind of her being the one in power.

"Let's break your bed," Veronica shouts at JD, her words mixing together.

JD slowly rises upwards, meeting her chest with his. "Okay, okay," he laughs strongly and confidently, merely amused.

Cute that you think you're the one in charge.

I don't want to feel anymore," Veronica admits, bringing the conversation to a slightly deeper topic, as she forcefully yanks JD to her.

JD bites the inside of his cheek, trying to keep himself from saying, Yeah, well you'll definitely feel something tonight. 

Veronica releases her grip on him and moves her mouth to his neck, causing him to have to stifle a laugh as her soft lips press lightly on his skin, leaving small butterfly-like tingles.

Honey, you have absolutely no idea how insane, sick, and twisted I am. And you're kissing my neck?

JD laughs as he moves a hand to Veronica's head, firmly but gently keeping her face buried in his neck. It tickles him, but also ignites his senses, giving him slight pleasure, along with the emotional amusement he is getting by watching Veronica think she's in charge.

"Gentle, hun. Don't hurt yourself," he says, chuckling.

Veronica softly leaves a trail of kisses on the other side of JD's neck as he stays quiet and smirks, merely entertained.

Veronica's soft kisses linger on his skin as she pulls back to face JD again. "What now?"

She was letting him take charge? Good. He's been in charge the entire time, at least now she realizes it. 

"Get off of me, darling," JD says smoothly, entertained, as he motions for her to lie down and let him take control. 

Veronica stops for a second, unsure. This causes JD to snicker as he watches her falter.

Thoughts race in Veronica's head as she fights herself, hesitant and uncertain of what she should do.

Her mind is soon made up as she gives into JD's orders.

"Okay," Veronica asks weakly, suddenly becoming more timid, the powerful side of her now nowhere to be seen. 

JD smirks. He broke her. The strong, dominant girl that walked in ten minutes ago now is whimpering under his finger. Forget letting her think she's in charge. She needs to know he was the one controlling this, and has been from the start.

"You'll get it hard."

JD closes his eyes and leans down into Veronica's chest. He forcefully and lustfully bites the top of her breast, closing his eyes, while his hands travel to her milky white thighs, running them up and down her soft legs. His coarse hands against her satin skin feel right, like this is where they should be.

"Wait! Wait!"

JD immediately stops what he is doing as soon as he hears her protests, looking up into her now frightened eyes.

"What," he says, his voice low. He waits impatiently, no response coming from Veronica, who opens her mouth, but cannot seem to form a sentence.

It clicks. JD laughs as he figures it out, even more amused. "You're a virgin?" 

This just keeps getting better and better.

Veronica looks away, blushing. She tries to wiggle out from under him. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea-"

JD pins her down even tighter. "Hey. Look at me. You're okay," he says, looking into her eyes. As soon as Veronica's heartbeat slows down even slightly, and she calms down; he leans into her neck, placing passionate but gentle kisses on it. 

Veronica tenses up, a small whimper escaping her mouth.

"All I'm doing is kissing your neck, and you're whimpering," JD says, amused.

_____________________________

JD spoons a sleeping Veronica in his arms, her cuddled up under him, her legs intertwined with his. He ever so gently runs his fingers through her hair as he holds her tightly to him, recalling the events of the past night.

He feels badly that she was in pain- that's not at all his goal- but he made sure she felt pleasure, too- what he DID want her to feel.

JD also is annoyed that she doesn't feel entirely safe with him- she is definitely more afraid of him than he wanted her to be. Slight respect is good, absolute fear- like the kind that was in her eyes when she thought he was going to hit her- is not good.

The rising sun's iridescent rays start to seep through JD's window, glistening on Veronica's body. JD takes the opportunity to inspect her to see what the damage from last night was. He winces when he sees bruises don't just line places he intended to mark- her neck and chest-  but the rest of her body he had no intention of harming- her wrists, arms, honestly, every part of her body. He needs to be gentler, treat her softly. She needs to be protected.

JD caresses Veronica's face, whispering, "Everyone who hurts you will die." 

[yzzizdump]

An old improvisation which became a theme song for my character in tabletop RPGs. They were one of the creatures perceived as ‘demons’ by humans, among which they were hiding. In fact, they were a rogue AI in a body disguised as a young girl, slowly gaining their own conscience and learning about bonds and emotions. The song thus reflected their inner state - monotonous and lulling, maybe slightly reluctant, yet with subtle changes and curiosity, constantly evolving in their limited capabilities.

[meta-squash]

Brick Club 1.2.11 “What He Does Next”

Valjean’s weird sort of panic attack here interesting to me because of how he treats his fear. He genuinely is terrified at the sound of the door hinge. But he thinks of it both as a trumpet on judgement day and as a barking dog. The hinge is both a damning judge and a tattletale.

And yet he barely moves. He trembles but he doesn’t flinch or retreat or hyperventilate or anything. He freezes for several long minutes and has an internal freakout but that’s it. He thinks he’s screwed, that he’s going to be caught, but he doesn’t run or even ready his miner’s drill as a weapon; it’s like he’s terrified but also totally resigned to that fact that if he gets caught, he’s just going to go back to the bagne. Recidivism, again, like he really can’t think of any other option because none have ever been presented to him.

(I just googled the trip hammer out of curiosity and learned that its successor the drop hammer was patented in 1842 and rendered it mostly obsolete so props to Hugo for also staying within the timeline bounds in his metaphorical references as well.)

My biblical knowledge, as I’ve mentioned before, is severely lacking, but I know the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. Hugo likens Valjean’s stillness to the pillar of salt, which seems to me to be referencing this entire sequence as Valjean “looking back at Sodom” as he returns to the same sort of actions that put him in prison in the first place. He has this chance to escape his old life in Toulon, but here he is looking back, both in remembering Brevet in the previous chapter, and now returning to old actions. But, unlike Lot’s wife, Valjean is spared because he refrains from violence, and perhaps because, due to the presence of the bishop, he’s able to be pardoned.

The intense contrast between Valjean’s inner turmoil and the “deep calm” that fills the bedroom feels like a motif that is consistently returned to re: Valjean and the bishop. Any time Valjean is freaking out, he seems to invoke the memory of Myriel and calm down a little bit. Also, in the same paragraph, Hugo describes various common objects scattered about Myriel’s room which, to Valjean in the darkness are “indistinct, confused forms,” as thought Valjean is so unaccustomed to regular life at this point that he can’t distinguish objects that, even in the dark, might have been recognizable to other people.

(I’m mildly stuck on the fact that the bishop doesn’t take off his pastoral ring when he sleeps. Does he wake up with little square marks on his face?)

Honestly I’m loving the contrast between Valjean, who fell asleep fully clothed on top of the sheets of the bed and slept only four hours, and Myriel, who is asleep peacefully, under the covers--but he is also nearly completely dressed. While Valjean was completely dressed due to discomfort, Myriel is dressed to keep himself comfortable.

Hugo and his magical soul light. In fact, he barely falls short of straight up going “THIS IS IMPORTANT TO THE STORY AND ALSO VALJEAN AND ALSO YOU SO PAY ATTENTION IT’S SYMBOLISM.” As Valjean nears the bed, suddenly the sky clears and Myriel is bathed in light. Hugo nearly makes him saintly, except that he clarifies that this halo was “mild and veiled in an inexpressible twilight.” This makes Valjean’s later veneration of Myriel really interesting to me. We, the audience, know that Myriel has flaws. Valjean doesn’t know this. Valjean will forever think of Myriel in that divine, halo-like light; he doesn’t notice the twilight or the mildness of the halo, only that a halo is there.

“The moral world has no spectacle more powerful than this: a troubled, restless conscience on the verge of committing a crime, contemplating the sleep of a just man.” Also a motif we see a lot in the Brick: someone on the verge of doing something, contemplating the person or people on the opposite end of morality.

Again, Valjean’s thoughts are unknown, even to him. Hugo does this a lot; despite Valjean being the main character of the novel, Hugo obscures so much of his thoughts, either by describing his actions rather than what’s going on in his head, or by straight up saying “yeah, Valjean has no idea what he’s thinking about, so I’m not gonna tell you either.” It’s a weird thing for an omniscient narrator to do with his main character.

Hugo continues the white/black, yes/no motif that he started with the “alternative light and shade” from the last chapter. Valjean is now standing on the precipice of morality. I also very much like that he points out that intense emotion is hard to read: “He seemed ready to either crack this skull or kiss this hand.”

This first part of this chapter is so slow. Valjean creeping through the house, standing stock still for long minutes after the hinge creaks, standing there staring at the sleeping bishop for who knows how long, plus the last chapter’s hour-long meditation on the silver. And then suddenly, everything speeds up, and in one paragraph-long sentence, Valjean steals the silver and escapes.

Hugo precedes this paragraph with an image of the crucifix above the mantel, stretching its arms out “with a benediction for one and a pardon for the other.” Another moment of choice. Valjean has the chance for pardon here, but he doesn’t accept it. Of course he doesn’t, because he has no concept of what’s on the other side. This “free life” he’s been given is still nothing but misery for him. He’s been abused and judged and insulted so much, and disillusioned with the idea of a life after prison, and his concept of religion is in general pretty negative. He doesn’t have a way to imagine a pardon actually sticking, a good deed without conditions, an interaction that doesn’t sour with the realization of what he is. So he grabs the silver and runs, because that’s what his instincts tell him, and at this point it’s the only thing he trusts.