#it was my 24th b day on thursday

[roman-catholic-mass-readings]

24th October >> Mass Readings (USA)

Thursday, Twenty Ninth Week in Ordinary Time 

or

Saint Antony Mary Claret, Bishop. 

Thursday, Twenty Ninth Week in Ordinary Time 

(Liturgical Colour: Green. Year: B(II))

First Reading Ephesians 3:14-21 Rooted and grounded in love, you may be filled with the fullness of God.

Brothers and sisters: I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that he may grant you in accord with the riches of his glory to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in the inner self, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the holy ones what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to accomplish far more than all we ask or imagine, by the power at work within us, to him be glory in the Church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 33:1-2, 4-5, 11-12, 18-19

R/ The earth is full of the goodness of the Lord.

Exult, you just, in the LORD; praise from the upright is fitting. Give thanks to the LORD on the harp; with the ten-stringed lyre chant his praises.

R/ The earth is full of the goodness of the Lord.

For upright is the word of the LORD, and all his works are trustworthy. He loves justice and right; of the kindness of the LORD the earth is full.

R/ The earth is full of the goodness of the Lord.

But the plan of the LORD stands forever; the design of his heart, through all generations. Blessed the nation whose God is the LORD, the people he has chosen for his own inheritance.

R/ The earth is full of the goodness of the Lord.

But see, the eyes of the LORD are upon those who fear him, upon those who hope for his kindness, To deliver them from death and preserve them in spite of famine.

R/ The earth is full of the goodness of the Lord.

Gospel Acclamation Philippians 3:8-9

Alleluia, alleluia. I consider all things so much rubbish that I may gain Christ and be found in him. Alleluia, alleluia.

Gospel Luke 12:49-53 I have not come to establish peace but division.

Jesus said to his disciples: “I have come to set the earth on fire, and how I wish it were already blazing! There is a baptism with which I must be baptized, and how great is my anguish until it is accomplished! Do you think that I have come to establish peace on the earth? No, I tell you, but rather division. From now on a household of five will be divided, three against two and two against three; a father will be divided against his son and a son against his father, a mother against her daughter and a daughter against her mother, a mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.”

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

-----------------------

Saint Antony Mary Claret, Bishop 

(Liturgical Colour: White. Year: B(II))

(Readings for the memorial)

(There is a choice today between the readings for the ferial day (Thursday) and those for the memorial. The ferial readings are recommended unless pastoral reasons suggest otherwise)

First Reading Isaiah 52:7-10 All the ends of the earth will behold the salvation of our God.

How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings glad tidings, Announcing peace, bearing good news, announcing salvation, and saying to Zion, “Your God is King!” Hark! Your sentinels raise a cry, together they shout for joy, For they see directly, before their eyes, the LORD restoring Zion. Break out together in song, O ruins of Jerusalem! For the LORD comforts his people, he redeems Jerusalem. The LORD has bared his holy arm in the sight of all the nations; All the ends of the earth will behold the salvation of our God.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 96:1-2a, 2b-3, 7-8, 10

R/ Proclaim God’s marvelous deeds to all the nations.

Sing to the LORD a new song; sing to the LORD, all you lands. Sing to the LORD; bless his name.

R/ Proclaim God’s marvelous deeds to all the nations.

Announce his salvation, day after day. Tell his glory among the nations; among all peoples, his wondrous deeds.

R/ Proclaim God’s marvelous deeds to all the nations.

Give to the LORD, you families of nations, give to the LORD glory and praise; give to the LORD the glory due his name!

R/ Proclaim God’s marvelous deeds to all the nations.

Say among the nations: The LORD is king. He has made the world firm, not to be moved; he governs the peoples with equity.

R/ Proclaim God’s marvelous deeds to all the nations.

Gospel Acclamation Mark 1:17

Alleluia, alleluia. Come after me, says the Lord, and I will make you fishers of men. Alleluia, alleluia.

Gospel Mark 1:14-20 I will make you fishers of men.

After John the Baptist had been arrested, Jesus came to Galilee proclaiming the Gospel of God: “This is the time of fulfillment. The Kingdom of God is at hand. Repent, and believe in the Gospel.” As he passed by the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting their nets into the sea; they were fishermen. Jesus said to them, “Come after me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Then they abandoned their nets and followed him. He walked along a little farther and saw James, the son of Zebedee, and his brother John. They too were in a boat mending their nets. Then he called them. So they left their father Zebedee in the boat along with the hired men and followed him.

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

[chevvy-yates]

3rd or 4th week in a row where I told myself: "today I'll play the game (and update before) add mods and take new vp."

I think this Sunday it won't happen either. As it started with I got up way too late, got distracted by trying to catch up on what I've missed yesterday and now it's already 13:30.

Guess I have to accept that currently I'm just not in the mood nor hyped to boot up the game at all (even tho I miss my boys hard).

Besides that I see my other projects:

still a bunch of unpublished vp

unfinished fic parts

rp for main story where I have to answer since months …

mood boards

spotify playlists (almost done)

a lot of drafted posts are still waiting to get ready with descriptions and tags to push the button

asks I gotta answer (currently no vigor)

are still construction sites and I feel more doing this instead than just producing another ton of screenshots to add to the construction site.

Gonna have a short next week:

Mon-Wed: work

Thursday: day off, also my birthday (yay, ugh)

Friday: day off: potential try to update and add new mods?

then is weekend with Christmas: hopefully only away on 24th

1st and 2nd Christmas day: hopefully I do nothing and just stay home (possibility to play the game and take vp)

Then another week of work (should be calm tho)

then is New Years eve already where I intend to visit a friend

So if you don't see me that active, you know why.

I will try and make some drafts ready to be sceduled and peak in from time to time but I'm a bit more inactive. So if you think I don't like your content anymore, it's just because I can't catch up with 99+ posts each day on my dash and have to decide if I wanna chill scrolling tblr all day or be productive and get my own shit finished instead of adding only more to the pile. It's that simple. One day the posts will pop up again on my dash and I will reblog them then.

Also if you want me to see something: a. feel free to tag me (tblr likes to not notify me tho) b. feel also free to send me a direct link. c. feel free to contact me on my discord

Some blogs I follow i have notifications turned on so my phone tells me the blog owner posted but it's just my closer friends and mutuals.

[aetherspoon]

A not-so-simple relocation, days 19-27

Hi. Been sick for a while there, plus a whole heck of a lot of depression hitting gave me a nice one-two punch toward writing this up. Kriatyrr gave me a flu/cold/not-covid-because-we-tested thing last week and it basically KO'd me. I'm fine at this point, but that kind of put a bit of a damper on doing, well, just about anything. Where did I last leave off? *reads the previous entry*

Oh, right. The Mail Saga, Part 2

That's right, mail! Last time I mentioned that I basically didn't exist according to the Norwegian postal service. Specifically:

I ordered cat supplies (food, tree, shrub, water fountain) from the website on the 24th of May. I pay for home delivery instead of to a package drop-off because cat trees be heavy, yo.

Tracking information became available on the 29th of May. Turns out, the pet supply site is based in Germany and I didn't realize it. [5 days / 2 or 3 business days; I'm counting as three because Germany doesn't have it as a holiday, just the US and Norway]

1st of June, the packages arrive in Oslo. This is a Thursday, so I thought Oslo might actually have their shit together on Thursdays. [8 days / 6 business days]

First "attempt" at delivery occurred on the 2nd of June. The post office claims to have no knowledge as to what my address is. For reference, my address is, in fact, directly on these boxes, but I assumed that something went wrong on the store side of things. [9 days / 7 business days]

I contacted the company I bought the items from, as per the instructions from the Norwegian postal service. Unfortunately, they had shut down their chat an hour prior to the postal service contacting me.

I heard back from the store on the 5th of June, saying that the address was indeed correct and the Norwegian postal service just didn't deliver the package to my home for some reason? [12 days / 8 business days]

Later that same day, the Norwegian postal service decides to drop off the packages at the package drop-off area located inside of the mini-mall. This is around 20 minutes by foot away, and these packages are around 70kg / 150 lbs; just... no way in hell am I able to pick that up. I get that information and ask them to deliver it to my home, paying again to have home delivery. This time, I give them Kriatyrr's phone number instead of mind. Keep in mind, Kriatyrr has been ordering things delivered by the same postal service without issue during this entire time.

7th of June, the Norwegian postal service picks up the packages from the mini-mall and brings them to a terminal. By this point, my cats would be eating my face if I hadn't found the vet that had some T/D for sale. [14 days / 10 business days]

8th of June, the Norwegian postal service drops the packages off... at the package drop-off area located inside of the mini-mall. That's right, they picked them up, brought them to a depot, turned around, and put them right back where they were. [16 days / 12 business days]

9th of June, I start trying to find out how to just contact the post office to ask them WTF, mate? but to no avail. By this point my voice is mostly gone and both Kriatyrr and I are sick. Neither of us like calling people to begin with and that appeared to be the only option. [17 days / 13 business days]

12th of June, I finally figure out how to break their chat bot enough to force them to direct me to customer support. Seriously, I literally broke the bot enough where it started swapping languages willy-nilly on me and kept breaking it until I found a consistent path to a secret queue. [20 days / 14 business days]

I explain to the support agent the situation and give them the three tracking numbers. The support agent is utterly dumbfounded as to what the hell happened and literally ordered someone to take a car to pick up the dang boxes like I had paid for twice.

14th of June, the packages are picked up from the mini-mall. They are dropped off in front of my apartment, as per my original request. The boxes are heavily damaged, there are holes large enough for all of the objects ordered to fall through, but everything is accounted for. [22 days / 16 business days]

I... I have no words. This can't be just incompetence, there are too many people involved. They literally delivered other packages with the same address on them to the same apartment. My mail was delivered to the correct mailbox with the same name on it even.

Good news though, my cats now have a very scenic cat tree.

Depression sucks, especially when it gets a new vector to intrude in on my thoughts.

I don't think I've mentioned this too much around social media, but I was formally diagnosed with "Major Depressive Disorder (Severe) With Anxious Distress" (DSM-5's name for "your brain gots it BAD", I think) quite some time ago. I say "was" and "had" because, as of around the time I finally started the process of moving after all of my myriad delays, I was reclassified as having Major Depressive Disorder (Partial Remission).

While logically I understand that I'm living in a new country/region/culture/etc and it is going to take a lot of time to adjust, I still feel like I've made a terrible mistake. It doesn't help that, looking at pure mathematics, this has been the single most expensive decision of my life by a very large margin. With how much this has cost me in both literal-dollars and future-dollars, this likely set me back 5-10 years on retirement.

Those two bits? Definitely not unrelated. I'm basically never sure how much of this is StupidBrain (tm) trying to worm itself back in to throw me back to my major depressive episodes, how much of it is that I genuinely made a really bad decision, and how much of it is "this is bullshit but temporary". Everyone else tells me it is the latter, but I keep finding more and more evidence that this is probably one of the two other decisions.

Kriatyrr left today to head back to their other home. Their kitties are (hopefully) waiting on their arrival back in the middle of nowhere but unfortunately this means that I'm by myself again - the exact situation that I try to avoid whenever possible, since that's my severe depression trigger button. I'm okay right now, but I'm concerned, if that makes sense.

Other things

I wasn't actually well by day 19 as per my previous entry, it just fluctuated a bit first. It was more like day 21 that I felt well enough to go walking again.

Speaking of walking, Stupid Hill (tm) is still stupid, but I'm walking up it much faster than before. I don't know if it is a different pacing than before, or my legs adjusted to elevation being a thing, or just "I'm getting back into shape", but I can make halfway decent time walking up the hill now, only needing to take a break if I have to go to the mini-mall.

The Mini-Mall

I guess this needs a bit more description. Norway, like much of mainland Europe as far as I know, has a lot of shopping malls. Unlike the US and Canada, they're typically located at centers of public transit; the main mall nearby me is at a transfer point three stops to the west of where I live... but there is a mall closer. Much closer - it is one stop west on the main bus line by my home and is a reasonable walk from my apartment. It... doesn't really have much in it though, and the hours leave a lot to be desired.

The mall has a grocery store (common in Europe, and I really don't understand why it is so uncommon in the US), Asian import food store, doctor's office, dentist, department store, furniture store, clothing stores, consignment shop, and a handful of restaurants. Really though, beyond the restaurants, I actually have closer things to me than the mall to fulfill those needs. If I want to go slightly further time-wise, I can hit the main mall area instead.

It does, however, have a bakery. An actual not-inside-of-a-grocery-store independent bakery with freshly baked bread and pastries on the daily. One of the objectives I had when it came to choosing a place to move to was having a place to walk to on a regular basis. This means having a goal in mind... and the goal I selected was a bakery.

Next week, I'm going to start regularly going to the bakery. We'll see how well this works.

Last time:

[wanderingandfound]

I loved the broken Earth trilogy if you end up reading it I hope you do too:)

Hi Anon,

I don't know if you follow me or not. You sent this ask on November 24th, 2018. I got the date from searching for the email that notified me of this ask. This was the only post I reblogged on that day. Maybe you never followed me, and was just passing across my blog one evening. Maybe you followed me then, but don't any longer. Maybe you don't even use Tumblr now. Or maybe you're still here.

You were so right. I love this trilogy.

Looking at my overdue emails it looks like I read the first book in the summer of 2020, right after I started my job at the library I checked it out from. I read the second one shortly thereafter, I think I tried to keep in time with Mark Oshiro's chapter-by-chapter blogging of the second book, but I probably didn't do a great job of that.

And then I took a break. They are excellent books, but 2020 was a year. I lost my great aunt and my yiayia right before the US shutdown for the pandemic. My grandfather fell off his chair and punctured a lung in December and then got COVID in the hospital and died. Other stuff was happening, and I stopped reading things that I cared about because I wasn't in the proper headspace to give them the attention I wanted to, and I didn't have the emotional fortitude to deal with something with as many heavy elements this series has, now that I'm emotionally invested.

Last year(?) I read Jemisin's Great Cities duology and man was that utterly fantastic. I love her writing. But also? I don't know how you pegged me so well with the Broken Earth rec but it feels like this trilogy was made to give me everything I want out of a book.

I've been sad for like, a month now. But while my sadness is hitting pretty deep the reasons I'm sad are fairly shallow, and all constrained to myself. I brought the last book on my trip because a) I thought having time to read when I have intentionally set aside most of my problems to be dealth with by future me would help, and b) I kinda hoped I would get so sad about this book that it would push out my current sadness. The first one worked. The second one didn't. For all these books deal with heavy subject matter and are packed with atrocities, they aren't dark books. And the matter-of-fact, head-on way the narrator addresses the atrocities didn't trip up my tears much for this last book, but it came close. Unfortunately the reading experience was a little marred by me reading this last book through the filter of my current sadness, but my perception of the book didn't suffer for it (unlike the second book I read on my vacation).

I brought four books on my vacation. This was the fourth one I read. I started it Thursday while waiting for my intercity bus, but I read the last 75% of it on Monday while traveling home on an intercity bus and two planes. I didn't liveblog my experience because these books are so captivating I have nothing to say. I read some of it sitting beneath a tree in an old cemetery waiting for my friend to pick me up because I spent too long exploring the new part of the cemetery that I wouldn't be able to walk back to the place I was staying in time.

Thank you so much for this recommendation. There's a lot of books under my To Read: tag and I don't read the majority of them. But you were right. I love this trilogy. Thank you. <3

[justyeghost]

A Stream Schedule for the Start of Spring (March 18th-24th)

Spring officially starts this week so to start the week, I'm taking a couple of days off to recover from the stream I just did on St. Patrick's Day so the first steam will be me designing hair for my Cosplay Head on Wednesday, then I'll be dealing with another Lord on Thursday in Pokemon Legends: Arceus, and showing the First Spaceship on Venus on Sunday.

Catch the streams on my VStream Channel or my Twitch Channel with the VODs being on my YouTube channel.

Once upon a time, H'karu Starr was a scout for an extra-terrestrial colony fleet. Then an incident with a delivery ship resulted in an isekai… H'karu woke up on Earth. Now, in an attempt to blend in, they stream themselves playing some video games and doing hand cams… and sometimes his horror alter shows up to host old b-movies. You can find them on their VStream Channel, their Twitch Channel, their YouTube Channel, their Bluesky, their TikTok, and their Instagram. Age: 48 | They/Them Oh, and here's the Lore Video

[techycatartist]

Though the skies were clear, the brisk air made it clear that the end of the season for a large portion of Great Adventure’s attractions was near. Among the rides that would be closed for the remaining month-and-a-half included Superman: Ultimate Flight and Green Lantern. While there was no specific reason as to why these rides had shut their doors so soon, speculation pointed to the soon-to-be non-existence of the Parachute Tower. The two B&Ms were situated right behind it, so it would be unwise to keep that section of the park running as crews came in to meticulously disassemble the aging Intamin flat ride.

But when a coaster’s structure is made of wood, it’s expected that a park would close it early-- and for Toro, this is what he’d come to expect ever since Great Adventure decided to extend their operating schedule via Holiday in The Park.

Perched upon a stone pillar, Toro observed the rhythmic movement of his coaster’s trains; he had been sitting there for a while now.

Out of the corner of his eye, Toro noticed a figure approaching him— though the other Coasterdroid didn’t notice back. Toro decided to make himself known once they were close enough;

“Oye”.

Ka was directed towards his coaster’s entrance portal.

“How unexpected to find you here, Toro”.

“Well, I find it unexpected that they kept our coasters running past Veterans Day”.

“With Superman, Green Lantern, and the entirety of Frontier Adventures closed for the season, perhaps the park needed to keep us open to draw the crowds away from Movietown. Though it seems like my coaster’s done for the day— employees are shuttering the stands in this area”.

“Not surprised. Your coaster was looking a bit sluggish today”.

“Yet, it went without a single rollback— though every cycle looked close to one”.

“Think mine’ll make it to closing? I’ve already lost the “B” train to off-season maintenance, so why shouldn’t everything else throw in the towel?”

“Seeing as it’s approaching us right now, it doesn’t look like the “A” train wants to “throw in the towel”.

Toro continues looking at his coaster— or more specifically, the climb into the break run.

“You’re quite fixated on that spot”.

“I have my reasons, Tigre”.

“Which would be…?”

“None of your business”.

“A” Train climbed into the brake run, ready to exchange its riders.

“…Plaza Del Carnival has closed for the season. We hope you enjoyed your time today at Great Adventure— and remember…Holiday in the Park begins this Thursday! From the 24th until January 1st, Great Adventure will provide wintery thrills…”

Toro walked through the mostly-barren area, passing by colorful LED lights that hung above his head.

At the entrance was Ka, who greeted Toro with a smile.

“Your coaster made it to closing, as I felt it would.“

“So it did— and I should be elated. But I don’t think I can feel anything above “relieved”, Ka”.

“How so?”

“Should I really feel good about my coaster running on a single train? About it crawling through the course?”

Toro hesitated.

“About it being rough?”

He couldn’t leave that unsaid, as much as it hurt.

“Face it, Ka…I ran out of steam”.

“You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself, Toro. Think about how we celebrated your coaster’s reopening— it warranted a celebration. This season was never going to be perfect— but your coaster persisted”.

“True, and I was grateful for every cycle it completed. Looking back at that first day, all I wanted was to survive. Then, I wanted to survive the next day, and the next, and the next. I kept going day by day, until…I made it here. This is what I was going for, even if I wasn’t thinking about it. But it was for the better, as thinking about my future was…stressful, to say the least”.

“Sometimes, all you need is survival— because one day, you’ll find a way to live”.

“But you can’t run on “survival” forever, right?”

“Yes”.

Toro paused.

“So you need to find that life”.

Toro turned away from Ka, his coaster’s structure now shrouded in darkness.

“I hope I can feel alive sooner than later”.

[curtiscroachblog]

How to protect your family

Word for Today written by Bob and Debby Gass

Thursday 24th August 2023

'Take...the blood and put it on the...doorframes.' Exodus 12:7 GWT

On the night of the Passover, God told Moses that the angel of death would come and eliminate all the firstborn males in Egypt. Then he gave a specific plan of protection to the children of Israel. He said each household must take a lamb and spread its blood 'on the sides and top of the doorframes of the houses' (Exodus 12:7 NIV). Try to imagine that! On the night of judgment when the angel of death looked at their houses, because they were 'under' the blood, 'surrounded' by the blood, and 'seen' through the blood, they were saved.

Sometimes when we pray, we say, 'Father, I come to you in the name of Jesus and on the merits of his shed blood, and I ask you to...' Why do we pray that way? Because the Bible tells us that God responds to (a) the name of Jesus, whose sacrifice on our behalf he has fully accepted, and (b) the blood of Jesus, which satisfies all his claims against us - past, present and future.

Among the many things that you may be able to do for your family, none is more important or significant than praying for them every day. When you say, 'Father, by an act of faith, I cover this member of my family with the precious blood of Jesus,' you protect them from spiritually destructive influences that if left to their own devices can tear your family apart. You say, 'I don't quite understand all of that!' You don't have to. Just do it - and God will honour you and bless your family!

[runawaybill]

Virginia Beach, Virginia - on Thursday, February 9, 2023 I celebrated my 24th B-Day’s Eve - it’s a “Run-A-Way Bill” thing started in 1999 😃 … a bar crawl marathon to celebrate another “Birthday’s EVE Celebration” included: “Just One More Bar” with bartender “Ali” “Coastal Cafe” with bartender “Jennifer” “Ready Room” with owner “Fran” “South Beach Café” with bartender “Stacy” “Shadowlawn EATS” with bartender “Emmett” a super-riffic day of smiles & hugs … #RunAwayBill #rabDUSA2023 #DUSA2023 #rabSelfies #rabBornDay #rabJustOneMoreBar #JustOneMoreBar #rabCoastalCafeVB #CoastalCafeVB #rabFransReadyRoom #FransReadyRoom #rabSouthBeachVB #rabShadowlawnEATS #ShadowlawnEATS #Bars #rabBarsUSA #BAR_RAB #BarsRAB2023 #Bars #rabBarsUSA #BAR_RAB #BarsRAB2023 #rabBARSofVirginiaBeach #rabBARSofVirginia #rabBarUSA #rabBartendersVB #rabBartendersVirginia #rabBartendersUSA #VirginiaBeach #rabVirginiaBeach #rabVirginia #Virginia Thursday 02.08.23 (at Virginia Beach, Virginia) https://www.instagram.com/p/Col6MmuuN9i/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[ithinkthingsaboutstuff]

I have hit a mental snag as of late, so I am just going to lay some things out and see if I can make a cohesive thought or point out of the whole thing.

I will be getting a little personal so I will leave it under the cut 

since ace week and the fact I had no internet I was left sitting in my thoughts for basically the whole time (I live in a farm area and with lock down I could not really go out). 

This is the year I came out as ace (new years in fact) 

but I would like to lay out my experience with the whole ‘journey’ to that point. I have been on this site on and off for about a decade now (I feel old saying that), but in all my time here I have never actually read a ‘ growing up ace story’ shared for ‘start to finish’ so to speck.     

so here we go....

I never really felt like there was something wrong with me, before I hit puberty. cause, “kids don’t have those kinds of feelings” but it was when I got to high school (which in my country starts when your about 12-13) I started to notice things change.

I felt the same as I always had but others didn’t. 

they were all looking at each other in ways I could not wrap my head around, but I was told I was a ‘late bloomer’ so I didn’t worry about it to much.

it was when I was 15 that things really started to get...well it took a turn. 

I started a different (nicer) high school and got new friends, 

and my friends funny enough was the queer squad, my main friends were, a semi-closeted gay (he only came out to a hand full of people I was one of them), an openly bubbly bi girl, a her lesbian gf (gifted kid TM) and G a bi girl who (unfortunately) had a lot of...issues. 

G was a really into queer politics and causes, but she was ironically why it took me so long to realise that I was ace. She would talk about politics none stop (she wanted to be a politician) but she would make everything a political ‘debate’ and by debate I mean she would lecture you on how she was right. 

now I won’t g through G’s history here but I will give you the basics she was 

- a compulsive liar 

-had a bad home life (neglectful parents, a semi violent younger sister who she had to take care of) 

- had a fair few health issues (IDK the full extent due to the lying, as she once claimed to basically have blood cancer one week and then had a brain tumour/ clot the next, these were the proven lies)  

-had attachment issues (particularly to bi girl and semi out gay) to the point of manipulation. 

Now I should get back to my story. 

G was seen as authority on all things LGBT+ and I at the time didn’t know what being ace even was so I thought I was straight (ding doing I was wrong). and it was a joke that I was the “token straight” in the friend group (jokes on me huh). Anyway, I mention G because in all the time I knew her and all the talk she made about lgbt+ to the point of wanting to be a politician rep, she actually never saw ace as lgbt+, now let me be clear she never harassed anyone but I do remember some conversations on the topic. It was basically what you would hear in any AcE DiScOrD tag today (which was new at the time I might add). So you can see how my view of the ace community started. Not great....

I remember something twisting in me every time we would have conversations like this, an ache I could not pin point, I now know what it was.

I asked her to explain was ace and asexual was, she would tell me and I would feel a small small spark in me trying to light as the words and explanation made sense to me and it just as the knot was coming undone, she would then say they are fake and attention seekers or something much worse and the knot would squeeze back tighter. Now i am not saying it was all her fault or anything that would be dumb, but she certainly shaped my teenage view on the whole thing.

that view was one of mistrust and disgust. 

G was not a good friend at the best of times but the ‘friendship’ ended for me when she used my apparent “straightness” as a tool to manipulate semi-out friend to not be closer to me then her (she would tell him he was a bad person be because a ‘straight’ like me could never understand him they way she did) this would cause his server anxiety to kick in and he would literally have attacks over hanging out with me “over” her, so I cut her out of my life as a friend. we were 17-18. 

so I had 3 years of my critical teen years, of this person telling me that what I was (or even what I thought I was) could never be ‘right’, ‘good’ or ‘valid’ that lead me to lose closeness to someone I cared (and still care) deeply about. Because I was not ‘enough’ to be part of the group. 

I can’t describe what those years did to me mentally. It made me reject myself in a way I didn’t know was possible. All the times I was asked if I was “alright” but people and my own older sister said many, many times 

“there must be something wrong with you”

whenever the conversation turned to dating/sex. 

how many times I was called a lair, for saying I don’t care what people look like as long as their a good person, because “That’s not realistic”. my grandma thought I was gay because i had no interest in boys and she had a ‘not again’ look to her (my uncle is a gay man) even my uncle gave me the must be a lesbian look more times then I could count. It was not that people thought i was gay that bothered me it was that they were not listening or believing me when I told them what I truly felt, regardless of who they were (straight or gay).        

and none of this is even touching on the years I spent going to doctors for ovary issues, and them obsessing over my libido and hormones over and over again, when I said I don’t really feel attraction.    

but finally....

Once I was 18-19 and headed into uni. 

I have met wonderful people there, and one of the first friends I made was an indigenous Australian bi woman who was about 3 years older then me. the one to open my thoughts back open to my identity again. she did it with a simple question 

‘do you think you might be ace?’

at the time all I knew was what G had told me and how “people” felt about aces, when I shared this, my new friend looked horrified at the answer. she walked me through the explanation again but this time her point was not about how ‘valid’ aces were but rather how they have been in the community for decades.  she even throw in one or two story's she had learned from her indigenous background about how ace’s are seen in her community as well (it was interesting but I am afraid I don’t remember all the details and don’t wish to misquote her)

this did not ‘sell me’ on myself being ace but it did reopen the door for me to look into what being ace actually means.

and after years of learning and feeling as I always had, I came to a realisation. I have never actually ‘fit in’ to the hereto normative narrative.... But I didn’t ‘fit in’ the ‘queer classic’ narrative either.

so from when I was 22- 23 I looked for, watched and I listened to ace people (and other lgbt+ groups) on and off line, to see if anything started to feel right. Ace/ asexual was what called to me the most and was what I connect to most.

so after one more year I knew what I was, and it was like a whole lot of things fell into place, and I actually made sense to me for the first time in a long time.   

I came out at the start of this year to one person in my fam and that is all I plan on telling as the explanations are not worth the trouble (the acceptance is not the issue). but I wear my black ring with silent pride and its good enough for me.

because I’m good enough for me, I always have been       

[seraphinitegames]

The Wayhaven Chronicles—Update 04/Feb/2022

It would have been another straight-forward week this week if not for some 'fun' with our internet!

We had social media days on Tuesday and Wednesday, which was getting a real task with the internet deciding not to bother working! It looks like Thursday's asks on Tumblr didn't post, so I've rescheduled them for Monday. Hoping that works as the internet is still a bit hit-and-miss at the moment. And hopefully we can post the Instagram posts next week as normal.

But after fighting with that, I got right back into the LI scenes before the dinner scenes. Then into Tina's. Which went soooo much smoother, hehe!

Ohhhh......ohhhhhhhhhh.... I forgot about the little hinty-hint I've given to a certain character in this scene at the beginning. They play a big part in Tina's branch, and I apparently couldn't wait to get them involved already, hehe!

So yeah, I was in a typing frenzy when that popped up! :D

I'm actually hoping Tina's scene is going to be a lot smoother than I was expecting. I'm even tempted to write all of the LI routes as I go for each separate chunk within the scene. Not sure on that yet, though. Might be a bit too much for my head to deal with, lol!

I'll keep going as I'm going and decide that tomorrow when I hit the real deep scene stuff and the more major choices.

Next week will continue on with Tina's scene!

The first of the Valentine's Patreon Specials went up this week, so here's the schedule for those:

'The Perfect Date…well, almost.' - Nate/Nat Special (3rd February)

The MC and Nate/Nat's wonderful weekend is interrupted by a last minute surveillance mission...but Nate/Nat is determined to make the most of it! A romantic camping break sounds just like it's in order...

-

'Not The Biggest Fan Of Quaint, Babe…' - Felix/Farah Special (10th February)

After learning a certain target is holed up in a storybook B&B, Felix/Farah and the MC have to pose as a couple of newlyweds to get more information on him. But keeping up the charade of the undercover seems difficult for the couple who finally get some time alone...

-

'This Town and Their Warehouses...' - Mason/Morgan Special (17th February)

The target seems to be interested in purchasing property, and suddenly so are the faux- married couple of Mason/Morgan and the MC, who have to find more information from the realtor's office before the suspect, well, suspects...

-

'Sabotage Was Your Idea…' - Adam/Ava Special (24th February)

With the target finishing up business in Wayhaven, Adam/Ava and the MC have to devise a way to stop that happening. And the easiest way to do that is by moving into the house next door. What could go wrong when Adam/Ava has to go undercover with the MC as the couple who is doing just that...

-

Hope you all have the most fantastic weekend! We'll be offline as usual, so I'll talk to you all soon! <3 (Sorry for late update! It's been a pain trying to get online!)

[i-prefer-the-term-antihero]

The Case Study of Vanitas Month 2022 Prompts!

We have our prompts for Vanitas no Carte Month 2022! Thank you to everyone who voted!! 

Vncmonth is a new event that celebrates Vanitas no Carte/The Case Study of Vanitas in all its forms. Every week will celebrate a new character grouping. You can create edits, fanart, drabbles, fanfictions, amvs and mms!

Please remember to tag me @i-prefer-the-term-antihero in your posts to make sure I reblog them!!

Feel free to tag @phmonth2022 as well, however, that blog has been having lots of technical difficulties of late, including not notifying me when I'm tagged. So tagging me personally is more important!

I think it's also important to note, I also have a sideblog that is purely for Pandora Hearts and Vanitas no Carte content @this-idiots-left-eye, where I always reblog the stuff from this blog. You may not see my reblogs from the phmonth2022 blog on your feed, so make sure you follow that blog. If this blog truly no longer works on a technical level, in the future I may end up using it for Pandora Hearts and Vnc events.

Please also tag your posts with #vncmonth22 in case I miss an @ tag!!

Don't forget to either put a link or a "read more" on long fics (or long posts in general), so it's easier to reblog!

I also made a collection on Ao3 for writers! Don't hesitate to add your fics to it!

Lastly, don’t forget to join our discord if you haven’t! It’s a fun place to discuss the series and more easily share your creations!

Here are your prompts!

Noé and Vanitas Week Oct 2nd—8th

Sunday October 2nd: Butterfly

Monday Oct 3rd: Autumn

And/or

Fullmetal Alchemist/FMABrotherhood Crossover

Tuesday Oct 4th: Revenge

Wednesday Oct 5th: Cat

Thursday Oct 6th: Lost

Friday Oct 7th: Memories

Saturday Oct 8th: Roof

The De Sades Week Oct 9th—15th

Sunday October 9th: AU

Monday Oct 10th: Stake

Tuesday Oct 11th: Winter

Wednesday Oct 12th: Fangs

Thursday Oct 13th: Knight

Friday Oct 14th: Ice

Saturday Oct 15th: Twins

The Chasseurs Week Oct 16th—22nd

Sunday October 16th: Envy

Monday Oct 17th: Reunion

Tuesday Oct 18th: Gems

Wednesday Oct 19th: Bones

Thursday Oct 20th: Treason

Friday Oct 21st: Haunting

Saturday Oct 22nd: Faith

Chloé and Jean Jacques Week Oct 23rd—29th

Sunday October 23rd: Instrument

Monday Oct 24th: Alone

Tuesday Oct 25th: Castle

Wednesday Oct 26th: Music

Thursday Oct 27th: Witch

Friday Oct 28th: Flowers

Saturday Oct 29th: Snow

Misha and Luna/Blue Moon Clan Week Oct 30th—Nov 5th

Sunday October 30th: Past and/or Pillow Fight

Monday Oct 31st: 🎃 Halloween 👻

Tuesday Nov 1st: Name

Wednesday Nov 2nd: Blood

Thursday Nov 3rd: Scars

Friday Nov 4th: Tears

Saturday Nov 5th: Family

(Note: Butterfly, Revenge, and Autumn all had the same amount of votes, so if you’d rather use one of the other two for the FMA/B crossover feel free!)

You are free to have fun with this!! As long as you tag it, NSFW is allowed! (Tagging ships is nice too). You can pretty much do whatever you want with the prompts!!

As long as you make sure the characters from the group are your main focus, it’s okay to use other characters in your creations too!!

You can join any time, and use as many or as few prompts as you want!!

And you don't have to post on the day if you can’t make it!! I’ll reblog things late!!

Since we live across the world, you are free to post whenever the day is for you. I myself will be making posts according to my time, which is Central Standard Time in America. 

Feel free to get started on making stuff early!! 

We’re so excited to see what you make!!! Thank you for all your support!! 

i-prefer-the-term-antihero

P.S. To the lovely person who said that you think I'm a large part of what keeps the fandom alive on Tumblr....thank you so much 🥹🥰

[roman-catholic-mass-readings]

24th October >> Mass Readings (Except USA)

Thursday, Twenty Ninth Week in Ordinary Time 

or

Saint Antony Mary Claret, Bishop.

(Liturgical Colour: Green. Year: B(II))

First Reading Ephesians 3:14-21 A prayer that faithful may know the love of Christ.

This is what I pray, kneeling before the Father, from whom every family, whether spiritual or natural, takes its name: Out of his infinite glory, may he give you the power through his Spirit for your hidden self to grow strong, so that Christ may live in your hearts through faith, and then, planted in love and built on love, you will with all the saints have strength to grasp the breadth and the length, the height and the depth; until, knowing the love of Christ, which is beyond all knowledge, you are filled with the utter fullness of God. Glory be to him whose power, working in us, can do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine; glory be to him from generation to generation in the Church and in Christ Jesus for ever and ever. Amen.

The Word of the Lord

Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 32(33):1-2,4-5,11-12,18-19

R/ The Lord fills the earth with his love.

Ring out your joy to the Lord, O you just; for praise is fitting for loyal hearts. Give thanks to the Lord upon the harp, with a ten-stringed lute sing him songs.

R/ The Lord fills the earth with his love.

For the word of the Lord is faithful and all his works to be trusted. The Lord loves justice and right and fills the earth with his love.

R/ The Lord fills the earth with his love.

His own designs shall stand for ever, the plans of his heart from age to age. They are happy, whose God is the Lord, the people he has chosen as his own.

R/ The Lord fills the earth with his love.

The Lord looks on those who revere him, on those who hope in his love, to rescue their souls from death, to keep them alive in famine.

R/ The Lord fills the earth with his love.

Gospel Acclamation John 8:12

Alleluia, alleluia! I am the light of the world, says the Lord; anyone who follows me will have the light of life. Alleluia!

Or: Philippians 3:8-9

Alleluia, alleluia! I have accepted the loss of everything and I look on everything as so much rubbish if only I can have Christ and be given a place in him. Alleluia!

Gospel Luke 12:49-53 How I wish it were blazing already!

Jesus said to his disciples: ‘I have come to bring fire to the earth, and how I wish it were blazing already! There is a baptism I must still receive, and how great is my distress till it is over! ‘Do you suppose that I am here to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but rather division. For from now on a household of five will be divided: three against two and two against three; the father divided against the son, son against father, mother against daughter, daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law, daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

---------------------------

Saint Antony Mary Claret, Bishop 

(Liturgical Colour: White. Year: B(II))

(Readings for the memorial)

(There is a choice today between the readings for the ferial day (Thursday) and those for the memorial. The ferial readings are recommended unless pastoral reasons suggest otherwise)

First Reading Isaiah 52:7-10 Rejoice, for the Lord is consoling his people.

How beautiful on the mountains, are the feet of one who brings good news, who heralds peace, brings happiness, proclaims salvation, and tells Zion, ‘Your God is king!’

Listen! Your watchmen raise their voices, they shout for joy together, for they see the Lord face to face, as he returns to Zion.

Break into shouts of joy together, you ruins of Jerusalem; for the Lord is consoling his people, redeeming Jerusalem.

The Lord bares his holy arm in the sight of all the nations, and all the ends of the earth shall see the salvation of our God.

The Word of the Lord

Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 95(96):1-3,7-8,10

R/ Proclaim the wonders of the Lord among all the peoples.

O sing a new song to the Lord, sing to the Lord all the earth. O sing to the Lord, bless his name.

R/ Proclaim the wonders of the Lord among all the peoples.

Proclaim his help day by day, tell among the nations his glory and his wonders among all the peoples.

R/ Proclaim the wonders of the Lord among all the peoples.

Give the Lord, you families of peoples, give the Lord glory and power; give the Lord the glory of his name.

R/ Proclaim the wonders of the Lord among all the peoples.

Proclaim to the nations: ‘God is king.’ The world he made firm in its place; he will judge the peoples in fairness.

R/ Proclaim the wonders of the Lord among all the peoples.

Gospel Acclamation Mark 1:17

Alleluia, alleluia! Follow me, says the Lord, and I will make you into fishers of men. Alleluia!

Gospel Mark 1:14-20 I will make you into fishers of men.

After John had been arrested, Jesus went into Galilee. There he proclaimed the Good News from God. ‘The time has come’ he said ‘and the kingdom of God is close at hand. Repent, and believe the Good News.’ As he was walking along by the Sea of Galilee he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net in the lake – for they were fishermen. And Jesus said to them, ‘Follow me and I will make you into fishers of men.’ And at once they left their nets and followed him. Going on a little further, he saw James son of Zebedee and his brother John; they too were in their boat, mending their nets. He called them at once and, leaving their father Zebedee in the boat with the men he employed, they went after him.

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

[phmonth]

The Case Study of Vanitas Month 2022 Prompts!

We have our prompts for Vanitas no Carte Month 2022! Thank you to everyone who voted!! 

Vncmonth is a new event that celebrates Vanitas no Carte/The Case Study of Vanitas in all its forms. Every week will celebrate a new character grouping. You can create edits, fanart, drabbles, fanfictions, amvs and mms!

Please remember to tag me @i-prefer-the-term-antihero in your posts to make sure I reblog them!!

Feel free to tag @phmonth2022 as well, however, this blog has been having lots of technical difficulties of late, including not notifying me when I'm tagged. So tagging me personally is more important!

I think it's also important to note, I also have a sideblog that is purely for Pandora Hearts and Vanitas no Carte content @this-idiots-left-eye, where I always reblog the stuff from this blog. You may not see my reblogs from this blog on your feed, so make sure you follow that blog. If this blog truly no longer works on a technical level, in the future I may end up using it for Pandora Hearts and Vnc events.

Please also tag your posts with #vncmonth22 in case I miss a @ tag!!

Don't forget to either put a link or a "read more" on long fics (or long posts in general), so it's easier to reblog!

I also made a collection on Ao3 for writers! Don't hesitate to add your fics to it!

Lastly, don’t forget to join our discord if you haven’t! It’s a fun place to discuss the series and more easily share your creations!

Here are your prompts!

Noé and Vanitas Week Oct 2nd—8th

Sunday October 2nd: Butterfly

Monday Oct 3rd: Autumn

And/or

Fullmetal Alchemist/FMABrotherhood Crossover

Tuesday Oct 4th: Revenge

Wednesday Oct 5th: Cat

Thursday Oct 6th: Lost

Friday Oct 7th: Memories

Saturday Oct 8th: Roof

The De Sades Week Oct 9th—15th

Sunday October 9th: AU

Monday Oct 10th: Stake

Tuesday Oct 11th: Winter

Wednesday Oct 12th: Fangs

Thursday Oct 13th: Knight

Friday Oct 14th: Ice

Saturday Oct 15th: Twins

The Chasseurs Week Oct 16th—22nd

Sunday October 16th: Envy

Monday Oct 17th: Reunion

Tuesday Oct 18th: Gems

Wednesday Oct 19th: Bones

Thursday Oct 20th: Treason

Friday Oct 21st: Haunting

Saturday Oct 22nd: Faith

Chloé and Jean Jacques Week Oct 23rd—29th

Sunday October 23rd: Instrument

Monday Oct 24th: Alone

Tuesday Oct 25th: Castle

Wednesday Oct 26th: Music

Thursday Oct 27th: Witch

Friday Oct 28th: Flowers

Saturday Oct 29th: Snow

Misha and Luna/Blue Moon Clan Week Oct 30th—Nov 5th

Sunday October 30th: Past and/or Pillow Fight

Monday Oct 31st: 🎃 Halloween 👻

Tuesday Nov 1st: Name

Wednesday Nov 2nd: Blood

Thursday Nov 3rd: Scars

Friday Nov 4th: Tears

Saturday Nov 5th: Family

(Note: Butterfly, Revenge, and Autumn all had the same amount of votes, so if you’d rather use one of the other two for the FMA/B crossover feel free!)

You are free to have fun with this!! As long as you tag it, NSFW is allowed! (Tagging ships is nice too). You can pretty much do whatever you want with the prompts!!

As long as you make sure the characters from the group are your main focus, it’s okay to use other characters in your creations too!!

You can join any time, and use as many or as few prompts as you want!!

And you don't have to post on the day if you can’t make it!! I’ll reblog things late!!

Since we live across the world, you are free to post whenever the day is for you. I myself will be making posts according to my time, which is Central Standard Time in America. 

Feel free to get started on making stuff early!! 

We’re so excited to see what you make!!! Thank you for all your support!! 

i-prefer-the-term-antihero

P.S. To the lovely person who said that you think I'm a large part of what keeps the fandom alive on Tumblr....thank you so much 🥹🥰

[this-idiots-left-eye]

The Case Study of Vanitas Month 2022 Prompts!

Vncmonth is a new event much like Pandora Hearts Month, that celebrates Vanitas no Carte/The Case Study of Vanitas in all its forms. Both manga and anime fans are welcome! Each week will celebrate a new character grouping. You can create edits, fanart, drabbles, fanfictions, amvs and mms!

When you post, please remember to

Tag me @i-prefer-the-term-antihero and/or @this-idiots-left-eye in your posts to make sure I reblog them!!

Tag your posts with #vncmonth22 in case I miss an @ tag!!

Put a "read more" on long fics or posts so they're easier to reblog!"

Feel free to tag @phmonth2022 as well, however the blog no longer notifies me when I'm tagged. So tagging me personally is more important!

This blog (@this-idiots-left-eye) is where I will hosting the event. I will reblog everything to the @phmonth2022 blog, (as well as my personal blog), too, but you may not see my posts and reblogs from the phmonth2022 blog on your feed.

Also note that alongside Vncmonth22, I will be hosting the redo of Pandora Hearts Month 2022 here! If you are interested in that, you can read up on it here!

I also made a collection on Ao3 for writers! Don't hesitate to add your fics to it!

Lastly, don’t forget to join our discord if you haven’t! It’s a fun place to discuss the series and more easily share your creations!

Here are your prompts!

Noé and Vanitas Week Oct 2nd—8th

Sunday October 2nd: Butterfly

Monday Oct 3rd: Autumn

And/or

Fullmetal Alchemist/FMABrotherhood Crossover

Tuesday Oct 4th: Revenge

Wednesday Oct 5th: Cat

Thursday Oct 6th: Lost

Friday Oct 7th: Memories

Saturday Oct 8th: Roof

The De Sades Week Oct 9th—15th

Sunday October 9th: AU

Monday Oct 10th: Stake

Tuesday Oct 11th: Winter

Wednesday Oct 12th: Fangs

Thursday Oct 13th: Knight

Friday Oct 14th: Ice

Saturday Oct 15th: Twins

The Chasseurs Week Oct 16th—22nd

Sunday October 16th: Envy

Monday Oct 17th: Reunion

Tuesday Oct 18th: Gems

Wednesday Oct 19th: Bones

Thursday Oct 20th: Treason

Friday Oct 21st: Haunting

Saturday Oct 22nd: Faith

Chloé and Jean Jacques Week Oct 23rd—29th

Sunday October 23rd: Instrument

Monday Oct 24th: Alone

Tuesday Oct 25th: Castle

Wednesday Oct 26th: Music

Thursday Oct 27th: Witch

Friday Oct 28th: Flowers

Saturday Oct 29th: Snow

Misha and Luna/Blue Moon Clan Week Oct 30th—Nov 5th

Sunday October 30th: Past and/or Pillow Fight

Monday Oct 31st: 🎃 Halloween 👻

Tuesday Nov 1st: Name

Wednesday Nov 2nd: Blood

Thursday Nov 3rd: Scars

Friday Nov 4th: Tears

Saturday Nov 5th: Family

(Note: Butterfly, Revenge, and Autumn all had the same amount of votes, so if you’d rather use one of the other two for the FMA/B crossover feel free!)

You are free to have fun with this!! As long as you tag it, NSFW is allowed! (Tagging ships is nice too). You can pretty much do whatever you want with the prompts!!

As long as you make sure the characters from the group are your main focus, it’s okay to use other characters in your creations too!!

You can join any time, and use as many or as few prompts as you want! And you don't have to post on the day if you can’t make it! I’ll reblog things late!

Since we live across the world, you are free to post whenever the day is for you. I myself will be making posts according to my time, which is Central Standard Time in America. 

Feel free to get started on making stuff early!! 

We’re so excited to see what you make!!! Thank you for all your support!! 

i-prefer-the-term-antihero

[yoshkeii]

𝟹𝚛𝚍 𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚝𝚘 | “𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚃𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎𝚜”

࿐ character: Nobara Kugisaki

࿐ prompt: 8) "It's not UFOs, you piece of shit!"

࿐ type: imagine (oneshot <3)

࿐ requested by: sleepingkyo for my 700+ event

⌦ gn!reader (they/them)

⌦ sfw, fluff

⌦ cw/tw: swearing !!

⌦ ‘may i request a nobara dialogue 8 "It's not UFOs, you piece of shit!" scenario with a gn! reader?’

A/N: my first nobara request? ayo?? (also decided to make this platonic !!)

You and Nobara were such a duo, being able to see only curses you had stumbled upon her during one of her solo missions. Finding a connection through interests and just the way your personalities had clashed, it felt right. To be friends that is. Exchanging numbers and only being able to communicate through texts and calls due to the distances between your own cities. Nobara attending the Jujutsu Tokyo school, while you were in Kawaguchi. Although it was a nearby city... you really didn’t have the funds or time to go into Tokyo.

Sometimes Nobara would surprise you, always knocking on your apartment door and opening it up to see the apricot-colored girl at your doorway. Always freezing up in astonishment as she hugged you happily.

Which... she was doing now. Unexpectedly visiting you again for the 3rd time in the past 2 months. 

“Y/N! It’s so nice to see you again!” Nobara said as she let go, “Did I surprise you again? You know you should expect me to keep coming over.”

“You always do Kugasaki- And-.. And you know I’m not the brightest,,” You muttered the last few words, hoping she wouldn’t hear it but the soft growing laughter said otherwise. Embarrassed you had looked away as you hurried off to the kitchen, noticing the two bags Nobara had held, one you assumed had snacks inside. She followed behind your heels, both of you returning teases and retorts as you organized drinks inside your small fridge and settled the other items on the table.

You didn’t know what to expect. Knowing how much a wildcard she can be she dragged you around Kawaguchi and its several towns around your home, she had been here many times and researched where she could visit. And known of those cheap places either. Although you always insisted on the locals you enjoyed in your city, that was really the only exception she accepted.

As night grew closer, you were beginning to walk back to your apartment. Not far from it. With bags of goodies, souvenirs, and just memories in hand.

You were just looking up at the sky as you walked, glancing down to watch where you stepped. Seeing the light splattered of stars in the sky was always a nice thing to see, a thing you always look forward to on a fun day. Just the gentlest smile on your face as you admired the vision, seeing the moon at a waxing gibbous.

“..a few more nights till a full moon, Kugisaki.” You broke the comfortable silence. “On the 24th.. which is.. Thursday- A Strawberry Moon will happen too!”

“Really...? What- The fuck is a Strawberry Moon too- It doesn’t even sound real”

“I don’t know.. specifically but its like the first- the first full moon after the summer solstice or whatever.”

“Pfft- Damn, you really know your shit about space and all that huh, Y/N?”

“I- W-well,, Only because I was interested in it! Okay!! It’s really cool too-”

“Uh-huh, nerdy Y/N~” Nobara cooed teasingly, giggling afterward her own words.

You simply stuck your tongue at her, crossing your arms.

“No wonder I see thoses.. fucking disc looking things all over your doodles in your room. Even some of them are hanging too! There like called.. UFOs.. right? For aliens??”

“H-hey- It's not UFOs, you piece of shit!” You barked, pouting a little. “..don’t remind me of those silly stories I told ya about it all either-”

Nobara just laughed at you, already knowing she would bring up the embarrassing stories you had brought up through the many interactions from you and your family. 

“Fine, fine- I won’t... This time-”

“I swear to god if you tell anyone like Itadori and Megumi-”

“Thats- Already too late-”

“Kugisaki! Really-!”

Nobara had continued her laughter, stopping her teasing and promising to do so for the rest of the night. In return, you softly hit her shoulder pouting less as you had finally reached your apartment. Both walking inside to hangout and chill for the rest of the night... without any more embarrassing reminders.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Fandom Thoughts

First thing I want to say is this post is just me speculating and expressing my thought on things. I’m sure many people will disagree with me or have a different interpretation and that’s ok. I could be totally way off base with everything I say but like I said this is just my interpretation of and my thoughts on things, also just want to say that I mean no disrespect to anyone or anyone’s fandom so yeah.  

So we all know that B*ghead is the largest fandom and the most popular ship. There’s no lying about that. I think it became so popular out of a combination of things, I think Cole’s popularity from his time on the Disney channel did bring across a lot of fans. I mean I could be totally wrong about this but I do feel like alot of the B*ghead fans were originally Cole fans. I’ll be honest, I didn’t watch Riverdale when it first aired, it was about 6 episodes in when my sister told me it was a good show about a murder mystery and that I’d never guess who was on it? Cody from suite life. I myself originally started watching the show because I was curious about the fact that Cole was on it and then stuck around because I got invested in the mystery and because from that very first episode I was hooked by Barchie and saw so much potential with them. I do think another contributing factor to the B*ghead ship’s popularity was the fact that the actors themselves became a couple and so people weren’t just invested in the ship but in the actors’ relationship too. I also do think that the fandom was very ‘loud’ on social media and there was alot of engagement. All of that combined with the fact that they did have some cute scenes together I think was the perfect storm to creating a popular ship.  

However V*rchie doesn’t actually seem that popular to me. In fact from what I can tell its a much smaller fandom and I would argue that after B*ghead the most popular ship out of the three is Barchie. Barchie has always won out in fan polls against v*rchie and I feel like I see more comments from the Barchie fandom than I do the V*rchie fandom. To me it has always been more of a B*ghead vs Barchie thing than a V*rchie vs Barchie thing. It always felt more like V*rchie got support because it kept Archie out of the way of B*ghead. In fact I see quite alot of support for Veggie and for Archosie and alot of people admit that they liked those parings over V*rchie. I myself loved Veggie together far more than V*rchie and I didn’t mind Archosie I thought they were cute, I didn’t like them as much as I did Veggie but I still thought they had some really nice moments together. I think after Betty, I liked Archie with Josie best. 

But here’s another thing to bear in mind. Whilst Riverdale and its ships are popular online and get alot of chatter on social media and has its fandoms which are very vocal on social media, there is also the general audience. These are the people who just watch the show every week, they don’t talk about it on social media, they don’t look up interviews and obsess over every little crumb of info the writers put out trying to figure out what might happen in the next episode. They are the silent part of the audience, I suppose you could call them. And I would say that this part of the audience far outnumbers the part that are involved in the fandom side of the show. Of course its very difficult to really know what this side of the audience really thinks of the show because they aren’t out on social media telling people what they think. The best way is to know what they think is to look at the ratings and the netflix streams. 

I mean I know that the ratings don’t really matter a whole lot when it comes to whether or not the network will renew a show and that streams mean more nowadays anyway. But in my opinion I do think the ratings can still give you an idea on how interested the audience is in the show. The way I see it is that if I am really excited by a show, I spend all week looking forward to the next episode and you can bet your ass that when that show’s next episode airs I am sitting down in front of that tv and watching it live if I can, because I don’t want to wait a second longer than I have to when I want to see it. With this season all the Barchies know that the most live viewed episodes of the season were 5x05 and 5x06, the two episodes that were promoted with Barchie. The lowest two episodes not just for this season but in the shows history were 5x08 and 5x09. These were the two episodes that had the V*rchie and B*ghead content. 

I also discovered this website flixpatrol that tracks the top tens on Netflix in various countries each day of the week. You can also look up specific shows to see where in the top ten they come each day of the week and I think I found something interesting. Now obviously because its week by week I could only really get information for episode 9.  

So what can this information tell us. Well episode 9 aired on the 24th and appeared on Netflix in alot of countries on the 25th. This chart shows where in the top 10 Riverdale fell this week, I’ve outlined those two dates in red. A dash indicates that it didn’t appear in the top ten that day. Now we can see that Riverdale most definitely does better on Netflix than it does in the live views and is consistently in the top ten in most countries. However, as I said, I did notice something. On the days it appears on Netflix we can see  that in most countries it doesn’t appear in the top ten and in the countries it does it is very low on the list coming in at mostly, 8,9 or 10. To me this suggests, like with the live ratings, that people just aren’t rushing to watch it. Some of this can be explained by the fact that it airs on a week night and it does fall high on the list on the Saturday after it airs on Netflix which could suggest that people are waiting until the weekend to watch it. But again, maybe its just me, but when I really want to watch a show, when I am really excited by a show, I will stay up late or I will get up early to watch it. I mean when 5x05 and 5x06 aired I was up early on the Thursday morning refreshing my Netflix page over and over waiting for the episode to become available because I was that excited to watch the episode.

*Edit: I’ve learnt that I have read this chart completely wrong as there is a one day lag, so the ratings on the 26th show that people were tuning in on the 25th which is the day it becomes available on Netflix in those countries. So ignore everything I just said in the paragraph above. I am going to keep the chart in for those who are interested in those numbers though. But yeah apologies for that.*   

To me this doesn’t really line up with the whole B*ghead is the most popular ship. I mean with B*ghead being the most popular ship then this last episode should be the most watched and I’ll admit I was a little surprised that it didn’t have more views. So why is that, we know B*ghead is popular so why aren’t we seeing it in the views. Well I think the answer is whilst they are popular, whilst it has a large fandom, its not popular or big enough to save the show by itself. And to be clear this is just my opinion which I’ve based on what I’ve seen people saying on social media and in YouTube reactions and reviews and from this data from the amount of people tuning into the show. But I think as much as many people like B*ghead, more people dislike/ are bored of V*rchie, are bored of the repetitive plotlines, are getting frustrated with the nonsensical plots. I think it has just gotten to the point where the things they don’t like about the show, or the things they’ve become bored with, far outweigh any appeal one ship might have. Basically I just get this overwhelming sense that people have lost any excitement they felt at this show. And this goes beyond any ships, whilst I do think alot of people tune in because of ships, there is more factoring into it than just that. I feel like all the excitement that came with the time jump and with seeing something new with Barchie and seeing something new with them being adults and dealing with adult themes, has worn off. It happened so fast too. I mean after episode 8 aired it was like a dementor had come along and sucked all the happiness out of the fandom. All of that energy that had existed before was just gone in the space of 45 mins. 

But here’s my question. I did notice a little bit of that energy come back when the promo for ep 10 was released and it showed that shot of Jabitha together. Again I do think that alot of people like this idea of Jabitha together or at least are intrigued by it. Although I know there are quite a few B*ghead fans who think the romance is unnecessary. But again I think this interest in Jabitha is because it is something new and therefore it is something interesting. I’ve also seen some Veggie fans creeping out of the woodwork over the last few weeks. So what I am wondering is if the show decided to go the route of Barchie, Veggie, Jabitha, Choni and Kangs would that generate enough buzz and would all those smaller fandoms together be enough to revive the show a bit. Especially if they couple those ships with some interesting new storylines to go with them as well as keeping the interactions between characters varied. I mean I am not expecting the views to suddenly jump up massively back to what they used to be in like season 2 but I do wonder if it would be enough to breathe life back into the fandom again.