#it was just “people bashing on a mentally ill person for acting mentally ill” (not that it’s an excuse to act poorly)

[squipedmew]

my fave Bible fanfiction updated! HORRAY!!!!

[nyammy]

My heart goes out to violent or aggressive schizospec people. U are not evil or scary. There seems to be some sort of bizarre amount of praise towards schizophrenic ppl who don't have violent intrusive thoughts or paranoia/delusions that causes them to act violent, which the latter is common and understandable behavior when they have to deal with a world that's against them on many fronts. I'd go so far as to say abrasive behavior is a staple symptom of many psychotic disorders, and to pretend it doesn't exist doesn't help the stigma, it furthers it.

I've threatened to kill people who've abused me in healthcare and assisted living and bashed objects out of rage. I'm still deserving of my humanity and respect as any other non violent mentally ill person. And so do other people on schizo spec that have been violent. That's just my two cents. :/

[patricia-taxxon]

One tends to be wary of publicly stating silver linings for their mental illnesses, lest they be accused of glorifying or even faking it. Sometimes those silver linings may only be imagined, but i dunno, it seems like it'd be nice to sometimes just say that my trauma brought me profoundly positive emotions later in life that would be incomprehensible to someone who hasn't been through what I have.

I was poked, prodded, and battered as part of my special education in school for the first decade of my life. My father hit me. The sanctity of my body and my personal space was eroded to the point where I have trouble conceptualizing how neurotypical people react to physical touch. Most people will never understand the joy I feel from having a new dad, one with a similarly demented internal space who can entertain these backwards morals and let me act on them in a safe place, let my brain just exist in its damaged state and act naturally without fear or shame.

Maybe this silver lining is illusory, it does sound a bit like I'm saying that people who don't bash their head against a wall for a week will never understand the relief of eventually not bashing their head against a wall. But I don't know, I was denied on several occasions the ability to develop normally while I was most vulnerable and now all I have are silver linings. It would be nice to share them without turning my mental illness into a product I'm pitching to my audience but I'm not sure if that's possible.

[melloneah]

this is all for the writer ask!!! :3 hope it's not too much >_<" answer the ones you're comfortable answering and don't force yourself to answer all of them if you don't want to! <3

🌵🥤🌻🍄📚 🍬🔪🥐🏜🦋🐝🧩

EHEHEHEHEHHE NEVER TOO MUCH THANK U SMMMMMM 🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love

i dont really listen to premade playlists, so ill link mine >:333 this is a playlist i made for a roadtrip to berlin, including all the songs i was listening to at the time, and ive since been adding new ones actively, so it's literally just a huge list of everything i love :D 🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

first of all gonna plug my besties ofc @levi-dayne writes sick ass fics for death note @uriekukistan writes amazing itafushi angst (and not only :33) SENDING BOTH OF THEM SMOOCHES GO READ THEIR STUFF! and a fic that id read recently and LOVEDDD was all about love by fullvoid (@casgore on here :3) the yuuji characterisation broke my heart - it was a gutwrenchingly real way of depicting mental illness, and i loved seeing how different he acted around people vs alone. and it was super cool seeing a healed megumi helping yuuji rather than the other way around!!! HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!!!

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis FIRST OF ALL U!!!!!! i love the mutual interactions THANK U FOR BEING HERE!!!! @alonelystargazer is very sweet and i interact with her pretty regularly i feel :3 THANK U FOR INTERACTING WINNIE!!!!<3 cant think of anymore rn but if i do i WILL edit this post TRUST 🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

megumi likes penne but yuuji hates it so they always disagree over pasta shape if theyre making it for dinner. yuuji always wins bc his favourite is spaghetti and obviously everyone likes spaghetti so megumi doesnt bother fighting him on it 📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app? 

HEHEHEHEH nervous. lets see "what kinda gay shit goes on around here when im not around" LMAO the choso x todo wip in action. what a quote thank u past me. you'll find out the context once i post it sjdhfgsjhfks

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

hmmmmm from random shit i think like. 1980s window designs in england lmaooo

🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh 

answered here :333

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

ARRGRHRG ANY COMMENT. i get so excited u cant even imagine. i sometimes type 'AO3' in my gmail just to delude myself that i got a comment and get that little pang of joy seeing the notif 😭 my favvvv must be ones that quote certain lines tho bc then im like HEY!!!! I WROTE THAT!!!! U LIKED THAT??? DUDE UR NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS I WROTE IT

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately

i feel like an everpresent topic ive had on my mind especially often for the last year is kindness. there's a multitude of things i could say, whether that's bashing people for lacking it, or get all teary over how beautiful it is (which!! it is!!!) but i think what ive recently discovered is that it's my only constant :3 when everything else goes wrong, that's all i have, and im really happy it's second nature to me (altho im still actively working on making myself better!!!!)

yeah, maybe everything sucks right now, but i know i can make someone else's day better :3 and often it makes things a little more okay to me too

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

RAHHGHG BESTIES. question for the bestiessss

@levi-dayne is so dear to my heart!!! such a sweet and kind person, who truly and deeply cares about others!!!! makes music, writes well AND ALSO DRAWS??!!! amazing and super talented person with super high ambitions too!!! SO SLAYFUL. what did i do to deserve such a slayful friend<333

@uriekukistan is one of the most naturally talented ppl i know!!!!! they write amazing fics, can DANCE super well, and took up drawing like 3 seconds ago and are already churning out really cool stuff on a fucking TOUCHPAD. ON THEIR LAPTOP. gofundme for rin graphic art kit when?? also ofc. a really good friend and very kind person :3333 <333

ILYSM BESTIESSSS

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

from a writing style perspective: first person and tense switches

from a content perspective: anything fucked up like noncon or incest....how tf are they often not tagged like??? or putting that at the bottom of the warnings list 😭 oh yea im far more concerned about swearing and underage drinking......

something im picky abt that sometimes annoys me enough to click off but i feel like it's just a weird personal preference is the overuse of alternatives to a characters name. so using "the brunette" like 5 times. just say his name!!!!! it's ok!!!!!

RAHHHHHH i usually reread my answers before i post but not this time. adios fuckers i dont remember what bullshit i wrote here but ur left with the consequences. if u wanna deal with even more of my terrible takes ASK ME STUFF

[cringefaecompilation]

the last thing i want do to is bash c2. because then i'll end up sounding like those c1 purists that say "ugh c2 is all just pandering feel-good bullcrap for fandom-brained fic writers who hate conflict!"

but!

when faced with characters you can't put into nice little boxes of "good victim" and "bad victim", when faced with characters who are biased in ways that are objectively correct but not morally so, when faced with characters who have mental illnesses implied or all but outright stated that stretch beyond more easily digestible disorders such as depression or anxiety and high functioning autism (or as watered down, caricatured and made as non-offensive as possible to be palatable to fandom tropes as these disorders can be), when people have horrific coping mechanisms due to their trauma or act in selfish and downright mean ways because of it, people get nasty. the amount of backlash, the amount of vitriol, the amount of insisting that they're all "toxic, codependent and bound to kill each other" and "not a real family" bells hells is because they're grappling with things horribly out of their control and trying to stay true to themselves...

then yes, it's going to feel very uncomfortable when i see the millionth post on my dash talking about how horrible bell's hells are for not fitting into the cookie cutter "found family" (unlike the mighty nein) that the fandom's been shoving all of the campaigns into!

i see myself in characters that aren't perfect and cute and have fucking issues that aren't socially acceptable. they're not heartless or scary because they argue or have conflicting ideals. they're not bad people for falling back on what they know is wrong. the way people act about them you think they never communicate or apologize or have any positive interactions with each other! they're in the middle of an apocalypse! we don't need you to skim the wikipedia page for NPD so you can write up a hot take on these characters being pure evil because they're not acting logically when they could be permanently murdered!

and that's not to say that all of c2 was just a low-stakes infantile story that didn't mentally affect the characters. that's not to say there weren't people that insisted certain characters were horrible people for having trauma or read into all their actions with the worst possible faith (coughs. BEAU). that's not to say that the nein most likely than not also have personality disorders that get quashed into the background by the fandom. i dunno! maybe it's just intense fandom drift from canon source material that's making everyone act so cruel? probably!

but i am sick and tired of seeing people compare the two and say that the nein are perfect and bell's hells is moments from self destruction the second that one character so much as steps on the other's foot. especially as someone who sees myself in less conventional stories about coping with grief and trauma and the uncertainty it brings.

it makes me wonder, were there ever people hellbent insistent that the mighty nein were all horrible, irredeemable, shallow, stupid people and deserved to die?

[whatisr3alityy]

I saw a post where people were talking about how we need to stop romanticizing and stigmatizing the disabilities and mental illnesses that we give our characters and characters in the creepypasta fandom, AND I 100% AGREE. Throughout my entire semi adult life I've been researching and doing constant readings on these mental illnesses and disabilities, as well as the ones I already have and seeing half these people romanticize or make it seem like these people are Killers just to be Killers is disgusting. Such as autism, bpd, schizophrenia, d i d. We really need to stop acting like people with these disabilities are evil monsters.

I'm going to use my Jeff as an example:

My Jeff has BPD and he acknowledges that when he does something wrong he apologizes and tries whatever he can to make up for it, as we know people with BPD cannot control their emotions constantly and sometimes go into splits. Instead of constantly making these splits anger-induced, why don't we start showing the splits where they have high euphoric episodes? Where the character with BPD gets so happy they feel like they're on top of the world? Jeff is a genuine good guy, and yes he might have urges (like killing, in my au they kill bad people such p*edos etc) but at least he has people he can go to to talk about them. The creepypasta fanbase is full of people who like to say that these killers are nothing but horrible, terrible people. I even seen others talk about how Jeff rapes people like?? Do you really think he'd do that, do you really think people with BPD or schizophrenia will rape people just because they don't have a good mental state?? I would never head canon a character who I love raping another one just because they "aren't mentally right" cuz in my opinion that just feels like another stigma against us, against people like us. If you have the intentions of raping someone you are a bad person (imo it's unforgivable). This isn't bashing at anyone by the way, you do you I just won't interact with you to be honest.

But I won't go into a whole rant about that specifically, I just wanted to put my own word in and put my own spin on things about how we shouldn't romanticize nor how we should glorify these disabilities and mental illnesses, do right by interpreting them in a positive way. Yes there are dark sides to these mental illnesses and disabilities that we should not shun, we should talk about the bad side just as much as the good. But for the love of God don't romanticize it

That is all

[mirroringshards]

There’s a difference between participating in a kink between 2 consenting adults and posting about it publicly online to millions of nonconsenting people. Im sorry, but you need to take responsibility for your actions. If you post about it, people are allowed to tell you it’s weird or creepy or harmful. Keep that shit to yourself, being mentally ill is NOT an excuse to expose people to harmful or rough kinks online. And before you start whining, I have OCD and BPD. I Understand the struggle. But good fucking god. You are selfish and stupid if you think it’s okay to just shove upsetting shit in front of people and use ‘it’s just my kink!’ as an excuse. Grow up

"and god forbid a consenting adult be into rough kink because of trauma"

i never even said anything about "posting it online" in that post 💀 please point out where i said that. i said that two adults who are consenting are allowed to do what they want to do and other people shouldnt make that decision for them.

i also wasnt saying "dont think something is weird" because yeah youre allowed to think something is weird. i think ALOT of shit is weird. im saying stop bashing people for it. stop acting like people arent allowed to have preferences. stop acting like people arent allowed to LIKE something. stop consenting FOR another person.

im also saying alot of kink is CAUSED by trauma. i have shit and kinks that were heavily influenced by the fact that i was sa'd. people with trauma are likely to feel that way. not all of us end up sex repulsed alot of us end up hypersexual. and its something we cannot control, and, alot of people end up trying to act like we can or we should just stop being into something.

if you take a look at my blog you will realize i have never posted about kink. never posted about sex. have never even vented about the fact that im hypersexual online. so fym take responsibility for "my actions"?

and youre online. dont forget that. youre not in real life right now you have the ability to block people, block tags, you have the ability to filter your online experience. if you dont want to see that shit dont see that shit, nobody is holding you in front of the screen and forcing you to look at porn. you can click away.

i think you should grow up if you think people should pamper you and stop making content that they like because one [1] person is uncomfortable seeing it.

[rfaromance]

J, R, and T for the SE Choi boys (and Vandy lol)

LET'S GOOOOO the SE bunker squad

Saeyoung 🚀

J: Oh, yes, Saeyoung tries his best to deny it but he's a jealous fella. He'll extend hearty congratulations to you in other routes, but he's clearly pained about it. He turns his jealousy inward, refusing to lash out, but instead it feeds his self-hatred. Of course, in the SE, he's living with you as his lover. So his jealousy pops up less often, because you two have been through hell and back and he feels confident in your mutual love. But if anyone looks at his spouse funny... let's just say if looks could kill, those strangers would be dead. :)

R: An absolutely love-struck fool. He's giddy and giggly one moment, then having a breakdown the next because part of him believes this is a dream. "ME? FEELINGS?" He believes he doesn't deserve to love anyone, let alone to be loved back. He goes through the 5 stages of grief roughly 7 times. He's surprisingly bashful and insecure; he can act suave and seductive, and he's certainly a sadomasochist, but genuine romance sends his brain spinning.

T: He's INCREDIBLY touch-starved but tries to ignore it. He's very receptive to touch, and actually he's the type to smother his lover (and brother) in hugs and cuddles and just feel them, their presence, their warmth (or cold), their pulse, and know that he has one place on this planet where he's safe: your arms.

SE Saeran 🍨

J: He doesn't really think much of jealousy. He feels wistful and bitter, about having his life ripped from his hands and being dragged along like a worm on a string for over 20 years. He isn't sure if he's jealous of those who have normal lives and normal happiness, but... he doesn't bother ruminating over it. It's too late for him to be jealous, in his eyes.

R: Oh, when SE is in love? You may as well rename the DSM-5 to the Saeran Choi Guidebook because he's got every mental illness about it. He hates himself for being vulnerable, he suppresses his emotions harder (which backfires), and he's horribly anxious that you'll catch on and that he will either scare you away... or taint you, making you think you might love him too. Because he's the last person in the world who deserves such happiness.

T: This man has never known a warm hug in his LIFE. (Maybe when he was a kid with Saeyoung.) Instead of craving it, he fears it. Do not touch him. He's jumpy and always on alert. His trauma makes him struggle to even be in the same room as people, never mind skin contact.

Vanderwood 🐆

J: Jealousy? They struggle with it. Some days, Vandy will see someone or something that makes his heart ache. Other days, he scoffs and ignores it. They know they should've abandoned such mediocre feelings and ordinary wishes years ago, but... sometimes, "what if" thoughts pop in their head.

R: Major tsundere energy here. Vanderwood in love is a Vanderwood who comes with background music: I Won't Say I'm in Love. They've already lost so much. They can't risk getting attached to someone, only to lose them again and have another ghost haunt their dreams. Expect a lot of snappy comments, dramatic eye rolls, and... well, spoiling his crush whenever the safe opportunity arises. Mixed signals, for sure.

T: Another touch-starved fellow here. They recoil away from shows of affection such as hugs, snuggles, and kisses in public... only because they're HIGHLY sensitive to physical intimacy and don't need the public knowing that, thank you very much!

[taexual]

im getting real tired of oc acting like she has everything under control and is this amazing manger when all she does is order people around and can’t be serious when it comes to confrontations. i mean she yells and questions others for their behavior but they have to draw the line when it comes to her? that’s hypocritical. her saying that she was hiding behind the bet and only bc she was scared of jungkook‘s feelings being real is and was obvious from the very beginning but she also lied to herself again i mean let’s wake it up right?

how come YOU work with your ex boyfriend that is in a band that YOU are the manager of and allow YOURSELF to work with when YOU act like YOU don’t care about him, while YOU also try to control him for petty sht that has mostly to 65% nothing to do with the work environment. she always wants others to give her time and let her get her thoughts right before she has to talk but others for example jungkook has always an ultimatum like what is wrong with her and her entire mental health atp? im on jungkooks side with, that yes i as a reader am tired too if her acting like she doesn’t want to be with him when that’s all she wants but she‘s selfish (in my opinion no shade) bc she wants to see him beg a little more to avoid a) the confrontation about their fucked up relationship that happened from both sides and b) bc it makes her feel worthy of something again bc he didn’t care about her enough in those 4 years he was with others right? then yeah i wouldn’t give my time and energy to get that kind of person back and not bc jungkook wants to be better for her he needs to be better for himself and her never giving him that reassurance is unfair and disgusting bc she can want that from him right?

like i seriously need people like her to just either be direct or get out of that persons life forever. she sees that jungkook has other SERIOUS issues like his mental health and addiction to always downgrade himself as not worthy for any-little-thing but all she focuses on is „omg u did a bet now i can’t be with you and also bc nick wants me on the renaissance tour so ughhh idk everything is so heavy and omg i fainted am having so much stress ugh:((„ like shut the fuck up. she knew what she was getting into when she signed the contract for being a manager could she know how much stress she was getting into? no but that’s no here or there bc she allowed herself to not have a break that is on nobody but herself.

i have so much to discuss about her character but i really don’t want to just know that im tired of her and also thank you for writing something that’s truly new and fresh! i like this story it makes us think and have thoughts about the the chapters in general so yeah i hope you don’t get offended of how i view oc i don’t want to bash your characters ig it just that everyone has a different opinion in certain matters right? still thank you and have a great day! ☺️😊

omg babe you are having some very very interesting thoughts!!!! thank you for reading and for getting invested!!!!!!! 🥺🥺

the characters will have a discussion about a lot of the things that you mentioned soon--mostly in the next chapter--so i'm not going to elaborate much, but again, some very interesting points!! they are people with clear issues, and insecurities ranging from their past relationship to parental trauma to toxic friends. you know what i mean?? and i can't wait to show you what's nextttt!!!! 🤍🤍🤍

adding a spoiler bc i feel like it 🤌🏻

baby you said oc "can’t be serious when it comes to confrontations" and that is going to be one of the key plot points in the upcoming chapters!!!!

their whole relationship, they dealt with the chronic let's-not-talk-about-this illness, you know?? and jungkook is overcoming it! but now that's coming back to bite oc a little bit, because not only does she have to talk too, but she also has to face her demons from the broken relationship she had grown up in

[sneebnationalism]

"why cant chae yul have his happy ending??"

(or: why the ending of lero's secret alliance was perfect)

part 1 of 2

spoilers for the webtoon secret alliance, i'd 100% recommend reading it!! it's not too long and absolutely worth the read :)

this is also going to be an. obscenely long post

i constantly see people complain about how secret alliance ended, and how yul deserved better. this is complete horse shit and here's why.

1: his happy ending should be that sian did not press charges on him. this is. literally mentioned in the comic. she had every right to put him in jail.

2: he did get his happy ending. he wouldn't have been able to grow or get better as a person if he had stayed in a relationship with sian or continued to do his crazy shit

how do you read this and still think that his ending wasn't happy

him going away from her and getting a job and being a functional person was his happy ending. he's fucking miserable, but it allows him to actually become a happy person.

also people who defend yul's actions because they relate to him make me want to explode JUST BECAUSE YOURE ALSO NUTS DOESNT MEAN HE ISNT.

like most of the fandom are just like "oh i think sian and yul are cute" the whole plot of the story is that she is horrified of men, him specifically, and he's so fucking delusional and unstable that he chooses to crossdress and befriend her as a woman to be with her again.

they're a nightmare. sian can't even convince herself that she likes him, and the only reason they ever appeared to be friendly at most is because sian is a people pleaser and yul is clingy and determined.

the whole point of the damn comic is that yul is batshit crazy and needs help. he is absolutely mentally ill, but this doesn't excuse his actions. the fact that he is mentally ill also contributes to why sian cut him so much slack.

also. if you want a man to be in love with and that's the reason you like yul and want him with sian,

YUJIN IS RIGHT THERE!!

he is literally the most perfect man in the fucking universe and y'all are head over heels for the dude who bashed him over the head with a fucking pipe.

anyways. back on topic.

he didn't deserve a good ending. he should have gone to jail. but he was literally just given another chance and told to get his shit together. he got the best ending he possibly could have without jeopardizing sian's happy ending.

i don't remember what blog i got these screenshots from, but a lot of this rant was just me responding to one long post from a blog that tried to explain why yul deserved better. if i find them, i'll edit this post.

1: never at any point in the comic does it state that yul was physically abusive. he was fucking deranged and absolutely mentally and emotionally abusive (unintentionally), but he didn't hit her. the closest he got was saying he'd stab her so that they could frame her shitty mom. how did you come to that conclusion??

2: HOW ARE YOU GOING TO HATE THE PROTAGONIST?? she's also not plain in the damn slightest. she's boring and plain at the start, but that's because she's fully controlled by fear and her mom. as she gets over her fears and works through her issues, her personality is so amazing and cool!

that doesn't make up for anything?????

he tried to take her away from her mom in order for them to get closer. he told people at the school to bully her more so that he could act like the knight in shining armor and help her. she said she was going to leave him so he locked them both in a shed at the school overnight when he knows she is horrifically scared of men.

he tried to take her away from her mom in order for them to get closer. he told people at the school to bully her more so that he could act like the knight in shining armor and help her. she said she was going to leave him so he locked them both in a shed at the school overnight when he knows she is horrifically scared of men.

he was abusive the whole time. keeping someone locked overnight in a warehouse with you against their will is abusive.

her condition got worse because the first man she actually trusted ended up being an obsessive stalker. it is incredibly straightforward. it wasn't about how badly he abused her, it's the fact that he completely betrayed her trust.

it doesn't make sense because that's not the parallel. the connection between yul and sian's mom is that both of them had an idealized image of sian in their heads that they loved, but they both ignored what sian actually wanted or needed. sian's mother blamed her for "attracting dirty men" and basically kept her holed up in an apartment to avoid ever facing that fear because she thought sian was the problem. yul saw sian as a perfect specimen that was being tainted whenever she interacted with people he deemed unworthy of her. they are absolutely parallels.

[shamelessrabbithole]

i’m probably late to the party about noel and all but i wanted to throw my two cents in that discussion! i think we sometimes forget that actors/celebrities are just normal people like us and they’re not obliged to look a certain way to make us happy or anything like that. i don’t mean that we can’t have opinions (as i, for example, don’t like certain look choices of cam from recent years) but i think that speculating on wherever noel has some mental illness due to how he dresses and takes care of himself, isn’t exactly the best thing. to me the answer is very simple: noel is a normal guy who likes to wear cozy clothes and is comfortable in his own skin and with the concept of aging (that could mean accepting his hair getting thin and such— even tho to me it doesn’t look as tragic as people make it sound, he simply keeps them short and being light colour makes it look like it sometimes) he’s a guy, an adult. he surely flirts with his wife, he swears, tells dirty jokes and fucks around (he drinks, gets drunk and such) i don’t even think he sees himself as popular or anyone ‘important’ so he doesn’t have the need to appear in a certain way to the public. like, i think he’s okay with doing ‘low-key’ acting jobs instead of big franchise (not saying he wouldn’t like it but i don’t think he loses sleep from that) cameron said he’s trying to convince noel to do more and imo it doesn’t mean that noel is depressed or whatever (he could have some issues or not, anything is possible but we shouldn’t assume things like that) to me, until proven differently, noel is cozy and doesn’t want to be everywhere and do everything like cam does. cause cameron is the type of person who wants more and more and be famous, recognised and stuff. noel is just a dude chilling in his garden, having fun with his lowkey friends. he simply happens to be an actor and it’s a bit sad that just because of his career choice and how he decides to live his ‘famous life’— people will judge and think he’s not doing okay.

i personally don’t go out much, if not needed, when i do i just pick the first things i find which sometimes can be the same clothes i wore to my latest outing as 1- i don’t use it often as i don’t go out much 2- washing machines exist!

probably there’s this strong feeling towards noel’s appearance because he’s often confronted with cameron who’s always trying to find new things to do, new styles to try and always be talked about. not everyone is the same and wants much from their life/career.

sometimes i think of it and it makes me sad, ive followed shameless since the beginning and i saw how noel went from being just a guy interacting with fans of the tv show, having normal interactions like i would with anyone on the internet. sharing songs, books, his silly thoughts/jokes. the day he stopped it made me sad as it was due to fans judging, demanding and treating him and everyone else in the cast like they owe them something. it would be overwhelming as hell for me tbh.

i’m all in for gossips and such, i discuss here a lot and i like to see silly things like ranking of hairs and such but sometimes i feel like some people forget that we all are people with feelings. it’s like the internet anonymity makes people incredibly mean and bitter, we need to take a step back sometimes

Thanks for your ask. I agree with a lot of what you said. I just want to clarify that when anons write in to lament how rough and mean-spirited people have gotten in their critiques of Noel, they're not necessarily pointing out the posts on this particular blog. They mean in general because it's gotten bad elsewhere, out there.

So, sensitivities (including my own) may be running high, not because anons here have been hitting below the belt, but that Noel-bashing is becoming the new normal and it's not slowing down. In fact, the more visible he is, the more he's picked apart. There was a time on this blog where a Noel sighting was beyond rare and anons mostly were sad over his complete disappearance. I think some people ought to recall how much worse it is when he hibernates and not lose sight of that. Or, simply move on and stan someone they find more appealing.

[krikeymate]

I love the first introduction of Sam and how she interacts with the group. The way The twins and Wes immediately stand in respect and deference. Amber being slower to stand cause she to this day still doesn’t understand all the hype around Sam. Sam’s eyes immediately going to Tara and never leaving. Sam getting down in front of Tara and placing a palm on her shoulder and the soft “how are you feeling?”

Tara’s soft, disbelieving “you came.” As she stares down at Sam with the adoration she has for Sam returning to the surface. And then the firm but gentle assertion of “Of course I came.”

Yeah people bashed Melissa’s acting in 5 but the fact that they couldn’t see the nuances in her performance is what’s really sad and I’m glad folks are WAKING UP TO THE MELISSA/SAM SUPREMACY after 6.

I know we'll never find out, but I do wish we knew how much of Melissa's acting in 5 was deliberate by the directors, because the 'lack of emotion' honestly matches up with my interpretation of where Sam is at that point in her life and how her mental illness' are affecting her. It unfortunately also makes it stand out when placed against Jenna, who as we now know, is an incredible actor able to convey so much with just her face.

The small smile when Tara says she wants her to stay. The way her face scrunched up slightly as Tara begins to break down - the way you might to hold back the urge to cry. It cuts away too soon, to the bar scene. If they had stayed on that scene even 10 seconds longer, you could have seen some more emotion from Sam at seeing Tara cry.

Her emotions are subtle, but they're still like readable so I honestly don't get why people get so up in arms about it. The way she calms when she sees Tara after her nightmare. The way she gets upset when she gets the Ghostface call. The shock when GF appears and her fear when fighting them. The way she's trying to hold herself together in the hospital room after GF attacks her. There's disdain when she's talking to Hicks. The way she steels herself as she prepares to talk to Tara.

Then we get to the conversation with Tara: and here's the thing, that expression is exactly how you talk about something hard to say. You hold yourself together and you push it out even though it's hard. The other person is the one who gets to react to your words. And that's exactly how it's played. And people gave her shit for it.

There's a hint of a smile and a fondness, when she talks about looking for Christmas presents, about how she thought she was going to find something good and romantic in her mother's diaries. But the smile fades and turns sad, because... that wasn't what happened. She looks like she's struggling to get the words out. She struggles to keep her eyes on Tara, she pauses, she takes deep breaths, she nods as she talks. She's grimacing as she's trying not to cry. There's even a hint of anger as she says "I'm screaming at her." She gets closer and closer to tears as she speaks.

She acted in that scene exactly as she should have. It was realistic, and I think it's perfect the way it is.

[why-the-heck-not]

1, 2, 37, and a question you wish someone asked

Thank youu for asking !!

1: Age

23

2: Sexuality

Bi

37: Do you regret quitting any hobbies?

yeees big time. I used to do ballet for like 13 years but quit bc had to change to a different city bc they didn’t have advanced things where I used to go and all my friends quit somewhere at that point, so the last couple years I didn’t rly have friends there. Also I wasn’t like trying to go pro or anything and sort of that was as far I could go with it if I wasn’t rly going to be serious abt it. I think I also got too anxious and self-aware at that point (damn u 16-year-old-me)

96: What's the worst book you've ever read?

Picked this bc I’ve been wanting to rant about Normal People by Sally Rooney for a bit. Maybe it’s not The Worst book I’ve ever read, but it wasn’t good and for the amount of hype it has, it sucked.

My ”review” (if u can call it that) below SPOILERS FOR ”NORMAL PEOPLE” BY SALLY ROONEY

I feel like there was potential there but in the end it just kept repeating the same cycle of them being together and then getting separated. Like it just kept going???? It got old after like 2-3 times.

And there really wasn’t even an attempt made for character building. It was all very surface level and it felt like neither of them actually grew up during the years and got stuck with that high-school level of communication when they in fact were grown ass adults like?? Act like it!!!! What the fuck was the problem there like ,,?? If u want to be together, you can be together; you’re no longer in high-school and ”having to take care of ur social status” (which also is one tired old trope). Literally give us one (1) reason why tf it’s so hard to commit to eachother when u clearly can commit to other ppl?? If the intention was to make the reader frustrated with them, I’d be okay with it if the book gave actual reasons for that. But it didn’t bc it’s all so goddamn one dimensional. The ”they can’t be together bc they’re wired wrong and traumatized and mentally ill” just doesn’t work when you don’t dwell deeper into the underlaying issues. It especially felt like the author just gave up on Marianne’s character at the end and went with the ”oh she was traumatized? That means she has some kinks and that is now her entire personality”.

Also the ending just felt so rushed and I hated it. Nothing got resolved in a real way. The redemption arc? He got to succeed and had some opportunities etc., and she just got the guy and that’s about it. Yes, you could read it like in the beginning he had a loving family but no money, where as in she had money but not the loving family, so in the end they got what they wanted as a kid. But that’s so blah. There was nothing suprising about it. It felt like they both gave up and settled for whoever was left and it wasn’t out of actual love; just the residual feelings from pining after eachother for a million years.

Overall, it just felt pretentious and it didn’t have enough dimension to actually create believable mentally unwell characters. It barely had a plot. I get it from the marketing point of view bc an easy read that has some edgy topics sprinkled with fanfiction tropes, but it just wasn’t good.

(This is just my opinion, don’t let me deter you if I just bashed ur comfort book; you like it and that’s all that matters. Mine is A Little Life, so I’m in no position to judge lmao)

[mylittleredgirl]

dear hurtcomfortex author

thank you so much for writing for me! i hope you have fun. i'm very easy to please as a reader and love to be surprised! (i love treats, too!)

there were so many more wonderful tags to choose from (and i completed my sign-up 30 seconds before the bell), so in addition to my sign-up tags, feel free to write to any of my general likes below for any requested ship, or other similar tropes as long as they avoid my DNWs.

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💕 i love: canon divergence | complications (e.g. emotional baggage, working together while in a relationship, traumas inflicted by canon) | episode-related fics | fix-its | friends to lovers | happy/hopeful endings | hurt/comfort | “it’s just casual” to lovers | other canon characters included in the fic | pining | polyamory dynamics | 5-times | all ratings are welcome.

❤️‍🩹 hurt/comfort likes: aftermath stories | characters who don't expect comfort learning how to accept it | comforting characters heal themselves through the act of helping | comforting each other while hiding/waiting/in fear | cumulative damage (emotional or physical) | hurt character struggles to maintain their dignity… and ultimately regains it | “i should have been there/been able to stop it” | “i'll stay with you” | kindness tailored to the way a character can accept it | made to watch (or can’t stop imagining) | one hurt physically/one hurt emotionally | platonic physical comfort | shared vulnerability | sexual healing | “the last straw” is something small.

🔥 kinks enjoyed: aliens made them do it (or local canon dubcon equivalent) | blow jobs | body worship (especially related to body changes like aging, weight gain, scars, etc) | edging/orgasm delay | hand jobs | masturbation | non-penetrative sex (not that i’m opposed to penetrative sex, just another thing i enjoy!) | overindulgence for coping or for fun (food, drinks, sex, etc) | soft dom/sub in bed (bondage and praise yes, pain and shame no) | telepathy | watching/voyeurism | sweet i-love-you sex works for me too!!

⛔️ DNWs: alternate-setting AUs (law office, coffee-shop, etc; small & large canon divergences are welcome though!) | bashing of other characters or past canon relationships | cannibalism | crossovers (except between series in the same universe, like star trek) | hurt no comfort | non-canon nicknames | non-con between requested characters (dubcon ok) | non-sexual bodily fluids in sex scenes | permanent character death | permanent loss of autonomy | spelling out accents (for human characters) | unplanned pregnancy | zombies or blood-sucking vampires (other canon-typical aliens and cryptids are welcome!).

⚠️ opt-ins for common DNWs: i’m fine with sexual violence being part of the story or backstory (including in childhood), as long as it’s not graphic, not committed by major/recurring canon characters, and doesn’t cause irreparable damage (e.g. not "will always feel pain or fear with sex," has to quit their job, etc). i like second-person POV a lot, as long as the “you” is a canon character. i dnw major character death, but death/grief for other people or animals is fine. i’m also OK with body image issues, canon-typical sexism, infidelity, medical/surgical things, mental illness, miscarriage, and torture.

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🌃 Stargate Atlantis 🌃 john sheppard/elizabeth weir (hurt either one or both)

(hurting both wasn't technically an option, but i would welcome it!)

these two are made for hurt/comfort. they're both strong and have been through so many wringers. they're terrible at admitting vulnerability, taking care of themselves, and accepting help from others. i would love to see them support each other (well or clumsily) through canon suffering, brand-new suffering of your choosing, or just a hard day at the office. some interesting tag options for them are the "character planned to die but didn't" option (perhaps elizabeth more than john -- i think he's aware in canon of his protagonist invulnerability), "bad guys made them do it" for a darker dubcon take for them to work through together, and "rehumanization" has canon and metaphorical potential for either one of them. please feel especially free to bring your own ideas for these two -- i have rarely met a sheppard/weir idea i didn't love!

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⛑ M*A*S*H ⛑ margaret houlihan & colonel potter (hurt either or both); trapper/hawkeye/margaret (hurt margaret)

i'm now up to season five in m*a*s*h and am so so so obsessed, and especially chewing the drywall about margaret. there's so much wrong with her. there's so much wrong with everyone. truly a show for the ages. there's lots of hurt/comfort potential built into the day-to-day premise -- the long brutal days in a long brutal war, the conditions, the stress, how no one ever has everything they need -- as well as the option for exciting war zone drama. anything from slice-of-life hurt/comfort to dramatic action/adventure would be loved!! i would prefer fic that only includes canon from seasons 1-6, since i probably won't have seen all of the later seasons before reveal time, but that’s not a dnw.

margaret & colonel potter: i loveeee the developing surrogate father/daughter relationship here. it offers so much potential for her to heal and grow, and he has such a soft spot for her in return. i would love to stick them in a little peril to see them get closer -- we know they go together into the villages to do medicine sometimes (and he already got shot once), so perhaps something exciting happens on one of those trips? if you'd rather stay low-key in camp, some emotional support that lets her feel seen or lets him get something back for all the one-way support he offers the others would be lovely.

trapper/hawkeye/margaret: there's so much charged (and horny) energy between them, i can't resist. the times they brought her into their circle (even if reluctantly) were so funny and sweet. i’m happy with any level of ship, pre-ship, or “&” friendship here. i have great love for the ongoing frank/margaret disaster as well, so feel free to include him/that relationship in the story or not however you wish (though if you're using him to hurt her, please keep it within the general canon range of damage -- he should definitely not be the perpetrator in the almost-raped tag scenario up there).

regarding the tags for this show: i genuinely dropped the ball here by not including any tags where trapper & hawkeye caused the hurt they're now trying to resolve, because that would be very in character! if you would like to go that route and make them atone for some of their little crimes, i would love it. even if they’re all friends or lovers now, old habits die hard…

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🛸 The X-Files 🛸 john doggett/monica reyes (monica or both hurt); john doggett/monica reyes/dana scully (hurt any one of them)

at this point i was panicking about finishing my sign-up, so please feel free to add extra tags! the x-files excels at generating horrifying ways men and creatures can cause harm, and anything within the scope of what happens to agents in a monster of the week ep in canon is fair game (except dnw zombies or vampires). i love the season nine agents and the variable dynamics of longing and need and trust and friendship between all three of them, and the x-files is at its best when the agents are going all out to protect each other!

the tag i have up there is "both captured," but having just one of them captured and the other(s) panicking/coming to their rescue would also be great, or tending the wounds afterwards. some soft comfort after any canon episode or an original case-gone-wrong would also hit the spot. monica is usually the one offering emotional support, so it would be nice to see that go the other way sometimes!

a prompt i always hope someone will fill is “three agents spend the night snowed in with ghosts,” with the author’s choice whether to interpret it as paranormal ghosts or the angsty figurative ghosts they’re all carrying around.

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🛰 Babylon 5 🛰 michael garibaldi/susan ivanova/talia winters (all hurt or hurt talia); lyta alexander & talia winters (hurt talia)

i really, really want talia to survive. i think susan and michael would be the most motivated to rescue her, and lyta would be the most capable of cleaning up the damage.

i love telepathy in babylon 5. psi corps is so deeply fascinating and fucked up. lyta and talia get so used and abused from so many directions, and the more power they gain, the less freedom and agency they have. the two of them have the same backstory of briefly interning with the psi corps, and i have always wondered if they knew each other pre-canon, and how that might have impacted lyta after unmasking talia's alter ego.

DNW exception for this fandom: while i usually DNW unplanned pregnancy, psi corps tortures its people in all kinds of ways, including reproductive control. i'm fine going dark for psi corps stories (non-con, torture, etc is all built into canon!) as long as our characters come out alive and there's some comfort, love, support, and a hopeful ending.

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that's it!! thank you again! i hope something here was inspiring or at least not too boring. i will be delighted and so grateful for whatever i receive. enjoy!

[luna-rainbow]

However, can organisations with ulterior motives realistically use the mental health law to put him in confinement? Yes, but it takes a lot of collusion and there are a lot of safeguards against this happening in real life, which may not apply in Marvel’s universe. /

I'm curious about this, i personally think they could institutionalize him just because it's the government... the government hates Bucky and they could do that to him just to fuck him over. now, when you said bucky doesn't have a mentally illness which requires to out him in a mental ward.. what does that mean? just asking because at the end of the day Bucky is mentally ill. it doesn't mean he's out of control but he is mentally ill...

Thanks for the ask and the opportunity to try and destigmatise mental illness a little bit.

Firstly, people with mental health problems do not all need to be locked up!!

The role of mental health institutions is NOT to keep individuals away from society. It is to start treatment that stabilises their symptoms enough so that they can function safely. For most individuals, the ideal outcome is that they function as a part of society in a capacity they are comfortable with, with or without support. The only way for people to do that is to...actually be a part of the community while trying to work through their issues. (There are some practical issues with this because lack of funding for supports and social barriers mean some people are stuck in situations which exacerbate their mental health but that's an entire paper and a half on its own.)

In reality, mental health institutions are high in demand, which means they are very selective about who they take on. Institutions pretty much only admit for the following criteria:

They are at a high risk of causing themselves harm (severe depression/anxiety, suicidal/self-harm risk, hypo/hypermania, active psychosis/delusions)

They are at a high risk of causing other people harm (active psychosis/delusions, mania)

It is very rare to get people institutionalised for a personality disorder, who unfortunately often end up in the forensic (criminal) system or the medical system when they do act out from their mental health issues.

It is also exceedingly difficult to get people institutionalised for a diagnosed organic brain problem that causes symptoms similar to mental health disorders: e.g. brain injuries, brain tumours, certain types of brain disorders - these can give you strange memory problems that shifts your sense of reality and you may act like you have delusions/psychosis.

Sadly, drug and alcohol use is often an exclusion which is unhelpful as many people self-medicate with drug and alcohol to help underlying mental health issues. E.g. people with PTSD end up in the medical system when they overdose to get themselves over an exacerbation.

Important aside here that the mental health system tends to be separate from the hospital/medical system, and it is also separate from the forensic/criminal system. Patients can be involuntarily institutionalised in any of the three systems, but for different reasons.

Being a super soldier who aggressively bashes people up when trying to complete an undercover mission doesn't get him a mental health diagnosis. Otherwise Steven Grant "on va voir" Rogers would've been locked up ages ago.

Armchair diagnosis time: if Bucky has a mental health disorder, it is related to PTSD and depression (maybe with a touch of anxiety). But he is socialising, seems motivated to engage with the therapy program, and wasn't displaying any active suicidal/self-harm behaviours apart from jumping out of a plane without a chute. In the real world, he's not going to get admitted to a mental health unit. He has NOT shown anything that suggests a psychotic disorder. His logic in TFATWS is...uh, questionable, but within the limits of bad scriptwriting stupidity, and he has shown a fairly good understanding of cause and effect. This is not someone you can call "mentally incompetent" either. And definitely no sense of a personality disorder there either.

If I had to justify some of Bucky's behaviours in TFATWS, I would probably say he's acting like someone with brain injury, exacerbated by mental health issues of PTSD/depression. I suspect that’s what you mean by calling him mentally ill but I’m pedantic with semantics.

Now, coming back to the first part of the question. Can the MCU gov lock Bucky up using the mental health provisions? Well, the CIA locked up Isaiah and lied about his death for decades...so yes, you can definitely write it in a way that's possible.

[katyspersonal]

Honestly, not how I expected it to be resolved. I think I've seen what concept of coping in a human form would be like. After a long string of this person trying one way to blame me for everything after another and another and another. Back then in summer when A found out I vagueblogged about her, she tossed that "apology" at me and instantly blocked. In that message she claimed the reason why she threw us to Dr Eugene X and her horde of huntsmen was not something personal but her feeling morally obligated to provide any testimony she could in hopes to remedy situation. Like, showing truth rather than my self-defence or Dr Eugene X's exagerration (A's own words)

But this time, when I confronted her and she engaged in discussion, facade fell very fast and she admitted that she considered me deserving that backstabbing. That it was not a mistake like I started to think, not lack of psyop immunity, not twisted idea of her "duty" but intentional, calculated, malicious act with sole purpose to hurt me as a revenge for hurting her. That I deserved the whole arc of her pretending to have forgiven my paranoid outburst when she defended my stalker only to strike from the back. That I deserved backstabbing and that's why she did it. I was absolutely losing my shit and physically unable to think rationally from pain and fear, but she said I made a CHOICE to "start a war" with her, so I had no right to complain that she was "fighting dirty" (I am quoting her word to word here). Basically, A is Petrus lol

She said I used my trauma, mental illness and state of having been regularly stalked and slandered back then to "excuse" having hurt her by calling her brainwashed and two-faced, for defending THE person that reduced me to paranoid, aggressive mess to begin with. And as a final punch in the gut, she said that the way I reacted at her triggering my paranoia (even if not on purpose) was evidence that I haven't changed after what I was like 6 years ago. I asked how comes that the only way a person changes to the better is if they never make mistakes again or never have negative emotions again but got no response. Only attempt to rage quit on me for "pointless" discussion in the fashion of the worst narcissistic parent that just got their logical error pointed out. Not only a common Westerner L on not understanding how humans work, but also it was vile to use the biggest regret in my life against me like that.

I kinda.. trusted for that time that she WAS sorry for backstabbing me. But after sleeping for like 2 hours, in retrospective, from how much she bashed me for everythibg being entirely my fault, I assume she is only sorry because that action brought her more stress than it was worth. And she also considers herself more hurt out of us two after admitting that she completely forgot about me until I messaged her, when I haven't been able to stop hurting and crying because of her after half a year.

If you gonna carry out anything from another turn of my never ending downward spiral of epic fails, then 1) if someone's words are seriously hurtful and cruel and you didn't deserve them, obliterate the bastard verbally where they STAND! do not just conceal your pain not even once offering a chance to make up for the damage done, until you have a chance for revenge??? seriously WTF?! 2) however, if someone gets aggroed at you calling them two-faced to the point they have to plot revenge and victimblame, you've probably guessed right about them 3) paranoid outbursts and alike are not a calculated choice 4) some people don't know how humans work, just because someone tells you that you are an inconsiderate monster that can't stay in society without harming people and use your mental pain and trauma as an excuse to get away with it doesn't mean it is true (especially note it if you have BPD like me, I know yall have a toxic trait of hearing insane accusations about you and just agree with them) 5) for some reason my string of closures is stuck at "seeing ugly truth at last" theme. Can someone really good hurt me? Lol /j

It was still a valid point on her end that the way cruel, angry words I say without thinking can seriously wound someone who already has low self-esteem and depression. It is just better if I do not try to get close with people that have such problems until I can change my reaction to pain and fear from aggression to distancing. Not gonna happen soon because since early childhood it was anger that allowed me to persist at least somewhat against all the abuse within my family. Not crying, not hiding, not distancing. It is very hard wired in my brain to react at signs of danger by trying to destroy it.. so yeah, look, you've been warned. If you already feel like shit about yourself don't let me too close just in case, I am fine with emotional distance. Because when I get alerted or scared (of abandonment, being lied to, intent to harm me etc) I say bad, cruel shit that won't let you sleep for a while. I am sorry everyone who I already made feel unsafe with my outbursts.