#i’ve just been meaning to write abt this since I read it like a month ago

[why-the-heck-not]

1, 2, 37, and a question you wish someone asked

Thank youu for asking !!

1: Age

23

2: Sexuality

Bi

37: Do you regret quitting any hobbies?

yeees big time. I used to do ballet for like 13 years but quit bc had to change to a different city bc they didn’t have advanced things where I used to go and all my friends quit somewhere at that point, so the last couple years I didn’t rly have friends there. Also I wasn’t like trying to go pro or anything and sort of that was as far I could go with it if I wasn’t rly going to be serious abt it. I think I also got too anxious and self-aware at that point (damn u 16-year-old-me)

96: What's the worst book you've ever read?

Picked this bc I’ve been wanting to rant about Normal People by Sally Rooney for a bit. Maybe it’s not The Worst book I’ve ever read, but it wasn’t good and for the amount of hype it has, it sucked.

My ”review” (if u can call it that) below SPOILERS FOR ”NORMAL PEOPLE” BY SALLY ROONEY

I feel like there was potential there but in the end it just kept repeating the same cycle of them being together and then getting separated. Like it just kept going???? It got old after like 2-3 times.

And there really wasn’t even an attempt made for character building. It was all very surface level and it felt like neither of them actually grew up during the years and got stuck with that high-school level of communication when they in fact were grown ass adults like?? Act like it!!!! What the fuck was the problem there like ,,?? If u want to be together, you can be together; you’re no longer in high-school and ”having to take care of ur social status” (which also is one tired old trope). Literally give us one (1) reason why tf it’s so hard to commit to eachother when u clearly can commit to other ppl?? If the intention was to make the reader frustrated with them, I’d be okay with it if the book gave actual reasons for that. But it didn’t bc it’s all so goddamn one dimensional. The ”they can’t be together bc they’re wired wrong and traumatized and mentally ill” just doesn’t work when you don’t dwell deeper into the underlaying issues. It especially felt like the author just gave up on Marianne’s character at the end and went with the ”oh she was traumatized? That means she has some kinks and that is now her entire personality”.

Also the ending just felt so rushed and I hated it. Nothing got resolved in a real way. The redemption arc? He got to succeed and had some opportunities etc., and she just got the guy and that’s about it. Yes, you could read it like in the beginning he had a loving family but no money, where as in she had money but not the loving family, so in the end they got what they wanted as a kid. But that’s so blah. There was nothing suprising about it. It felt like they both gave up and settled for whoever was left and it wasn’t out of actual love; just the residual feelings from pining after eachother for a million years.

Overall, it just felt pretentious and it didn’t have enough dimension to actually create believable mentally unwell characters. It barely had a plot. I get it from the marketing point of view bc an easy read that has some edgy topics sprinkled with fanfiction tropes, but it just wasn’t good.

(This is just my opinion, don’t let me deter you if I just bashed ur comfort book; you like it and that’s all that matters. Mine is A Little Life, so I’m in no position to judge lmao)

[galaxostars]

If you had to choose your top five favourite marauders era characters and ships, what would they be?

This question was actually so hardddd haha and I feel like you could ask me again in a month and my answer would be different bc I’m such a multishipper that… yeah xD but for now here it issss :

Fave characters :

1. James Potter : mhm I love myself an arrogant goofball who’s actually smarter than people give him credit for, who’s got so much love he’s impulsive with it and hurts the ones he loves, who doesn’t know what to do with the loneliness that grips him sometimes, who defines himself by his ability to help people, who rarely allows himself to express himself negatively (ex : sadness/anger/frustration) because if there’s one thing that he fears the most, it’s hurting people. Plus, he hasn’t got any trauma or anything so why should he complain, yk?

Basically I love a good flawed James, and the sort of character where you wouldn’t expect him to have issues yk

2. Sirius Black : I mean… cmon do I even need to explain? ‘Cause if I start idk when I’ll stop, like literally. Ive had a crush on this character since I was eleven and never grew out of it, its almost embarrassing if it wasn’t completely justified (and the only reason he’s not number one is just because I write him less than James so I feel like I know him less intimately but like if you’d have asked me before I started writing I’d have put him number one for sure)

3. Regulus Black : !!!!! sorry but indoctrinated younger ‘abandoned’ (in between quotes bc he was not Sirius’ responsibility and Sirius was right to save himself but it’s also very normal for regulus to feel that way etc etc… we know the drill) sibling who’s faced with sudden delusion about this superior figure he’s followed/served, everything he’s lost in the process, and who redeems himself by going on this suicide mission that ends up being useless? (And unknown by Sirius AHHHH.) The guy is literally so smart and technically such a loser bc he doesn’t serve much for the plot and that’s what compelled me so much the first time I read hp 😭 he’s so tragic I love it

4. Narcissa Black : younger sibling; once again similar pattern to regulus but she survived, she’s so smart I’m, like, shaky in the knees, (esp i love female characters who do what they have to do to survive), she’s powerful too, and jkr is shit at writing female characters and I will never not be pissed abt it but I do think cissa was very compelling (+ Helen McCrory’s acting game was sooo perfect), very protective of her family and will stop at nothing to protect them, and that’s a value I respect so much. I will say, in general, any member of the black family is very compelling to me. Bellatrix would come right after narcissa in terms of fave from that family.

5. Barty Crouch Jr : listen if you know me, you know I’m… idk how to define myself actually, but I like unhinged stuff so. This is like. Peak unhingedness. Paired with intelligence bc we know canonically that man was smart af, and daddy issues? Dark hair, too? You just described my type. He’s even more compelling in tragic storylines (like past bartylus and barty joining Voldemort for regulus and then faced w the delusion and the grief? Gut wrenching) so yup.

Favorite pairings :

1. Moonshine (remus/james) : I know this sounds weird but a certain fanfic re wrote my brain chemistry and ever since then I’ve been obsessed. I just think they’re so tragically beautiful together. They’re both very selfless beings that just give and give and never prioritize themselves and together it’s a mess. They keep hurting each other because they’re so selfless, they’re not very good at reading each other and they let their insecurities get the best, they’re both frightened of how much they love, of the other not wanting them, of needing to « tame » their emotions. I love them.

2. Prongsfoot : FUCKING FOAMING AT THE MOUTH ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Together they’re. They. Just. I hate them bc of how much I love them if that makes sense. They’re everything. A law of the universe and whatnot. I love everyyyy fucking version of them. They make me cry they make me scream they make me smile they make me laugh, they’re literally my comfort ship.

3. Jegulus : they’re kind of the pairing that made me join the fandom, and though I don’t read them as much as I used to, they’ll always make me so soft. Enemies to lovers? Yeah, well I’m not immune yk. Best friend’s brother? Even better. Tragic and doomed? Yeah sign me the fuck up. I will say I like them just as much when it’s jegulily, but that’s also because I think poly relationships are so complex and compelling.

4. Moonwater : and not platonic haha, i have to say that basically i ship anyone who’s very smart imo with regulus, and Remus passes the test. Plus he’s also introverted, a book nerd, done with James and Sirius so i feel like they could bond very easily. I prefer them in a non canon sitting tho for some reason, but yeah I’m. So fond of them. They get into heated debates. Even their ship name is so dear to me because, that’s like both their biggest fears and pairing them in one name feels like they can overcome them if they’re together ? 😭 it’s so sweet (plus, it allows me to ship prongsfoot on the side lmfao)

5. Regulily : same reasoning as up there but like they’re probs the only het pairings that I really really love. i never expected them to be so important (but *cough cough* disintegration happened…) but honestly they make a lot of sense? I feel like Regulus would be more confident with Lily, and Lily would feel more calm with Regulus? They’re that scary hot powerful quiet couple yk. Anddd they can bond over siblings angst lmao.

[alangdorf]

Welp, the ref lineup still isn’t done cause I haven’t drawn Shion yet, and the belated valentines I’ve been working on are gonna be like at least a month late cause I just planned three more, but what I did do these past couple weeks is start writing a fanfic and then immediately abandon it to go draw a bunch of only tangentially-related suzutsubas (except for that first pic; that’s a scene from it, albeit one I haven’t written yet), only half of which are fit for public posting (one of ‘em I could make a few edits and feel ok about posting sometime; it’s not that out there, it’s just, y’know. Hamal Cine Bad End Hyperbolic Torture Chamber. I’m usually very “whatever happens happens” about my art but if I don’t show some restraint I know I’ll end up stuck in there forever), but hey, since I’ve been teasing them for ages and finally have some finished stuff with them, take a couple Suzumii! Also gonna ramble abt headcanons under the cut (and it will be LONG)

To begin, a note abt my Len’en gender/pronoun headcanons: as a they/them preferrer myself, I’m thrilled that most people just stick with those for everyone, but I’ve developed some more detailed headcanons as I go through working on designs and I’ll generally be using those. Don’t worry though, most of them are still nonbinary and basically all of them are trans/gq. Relevant ones for this post are Tsubakura: they/them nonbinary (transmasc to some degree) and Suzumi: cis female, question mark?? (to be elaborated on); for clarity’s sake I usually use she/her for Arde and Hamal Cine individually and plural they for the system collectively (also I don’t usually use their nicknames, dunno why), but singular they for Benet (the wiki says Benny is probably short for Benetnasch so I’m assuming that’s their actual name) for reasons which will also be elaborated on (sort of).

Aaalso this clearly isn’t autobiographical or anything but I think I’m subconsciously putting a lot of myself into Suzumi because 1) we do look pretty similar (brown wavy bob + blue eyes) and 2) given their current status as both the main antagonist and the most well-known plural Len’en character (I get the impression that Hooaka also being plural isn’t super common knowledge; I mean it took me several read-throughs of their wiki page and their dialogue with BPoHC Secret Team to get what they were getting at lol) I am probably way too anxious about doing a bad stereotype. Just an observation and also probably partially why I’ve even ended up with so much headcanon for them in the first place

And before I get into the thick of it, notes on derivations from canon: I’m running with the assumption that Suzumi being a system is a relatively recent development tied to whatever incident it was that caused the falling-out, since Tsubakura is like the only person who seems at all familiar with Hamal (including Mitori/Chouki/Fumikado, but they’re more easily explained away as just having met with one of the other alters the few times they’ve interacted) even though she’s supposedly usually the one fronting. They don’t seem to know the mechanics of it though, judging by their confusion when Arde implied that she and Hamal are different people. So basically, I’ll be referring to pre-incident Suzumi as a different character from any of the other three. (Ngl I am very influenced by Dissociation Constant on that and just in general [when will my wife The One and Only Suzutsuba Fic return from the war…..]) I was also debating whether to have Suzumi have any history with the gang before starting to work at the lab/whether stuff would happen around high school or college age, cause they keep referring to everything happening “a long time ago” and I know I, a 24-year-old, feel like stuff that happened five years ago was like yesterday, but I do have the pandemic and not really doing much of anything for most of that time to reckon with so like, eh. College age makes more sense in my head and so does the dynamic of like, Suzumi was only introduced into the friend group (she was acquainted w Hoojiro and Yabu already though bc lab) because she was dating Tsubakura and since that ended, and badly (understatement of the century), they have extremely little reason to be civil with each other and also interacting at all is really awkward.

Ok now on with it! Either end of high school or beginning of college, Suzumi ends up interning at Tsubakura’s lab for college credit (Tsuba’s already practically a department head despite being like 17 or something because. Idk. Who even knows what’s up with them) and she’s like. Only wears t-shirts and jeans (bought a bunch of khakis for this job though), [reading] glasses from the men’s section, hates leaving her hair down (it’s lab safety anyways). Repressed queer in denial, you know the type. Starts interacting a lot with Mx. Tsubakura “wears short shorts that everybody thinks are actually a skirt and also uses ore and omae almost exclusively” Enraku who seems to have everything all figured out and is immediately starstruck (GIRL WHY?? they are such a mess). Lots of “do I want to date them or do I want to be them” confusion (this will be relevant later); eventually evolves into the “am I trans or just a lesbian” question (not that they would need to be attracted to women to be into Tsubakura but you get the picture), which never quite gets answered.

In any case, they do eventually start dating (Tsubakura thinks she’s cute and smart so they reciprocate), and they’re not like super great together cause Tsubakura is emotionally constipated at the best of times (Suzumi’s into that though) and neither of them are the most mentally/emotionally healthy people even back then and also Tsubakura is more or less Suzumi’s boss which is weird, but they’re kind of ok??? Tsubakura’s mom dies at some point, also they move in together (college housing is expensive), the rest of the crew at the very least tolerate Suzumi, etcetera.

And then…! [insert catastrophic event here]!! I don’t have a shot to call on this yet cause I have no idea what it could’ve been (and I’m sure it’ll get revealed at some point anyways); I’m just banking on it being something extremely not mundane and something where you could reasonably set the blame on either (or neither) party cause they sure both seem convinced the other is way worse, huh! In Tsubakura’s case at least, blaming Suzumi is partially a defense mechanism so their self-loathing doesn’t get the better of them over it (guess what the fic was supposed to be about, lol).

The worst part of all this business though is that they DON’T break up over it immediately and it just makes everything orders of magnitude worse for everyone involved. Tsubakura and Arde have hate sex MORE THAN ONCE………… they would both really rather forget about it. Hamal thinks it’s hilarious, ofc, but the less said about her, the better. And Benet… exists??? The only idea that I’m running off of for them atm is the observation that I think they’re the only character with flat black eyes other than Tsubakura/Tsurubami and the subsequent idle thought, “hey if someone malded so hard about a breakup that they ended up with an introject of their ex would that be messed up or what?” So make of that what you will. (Oh and it may have been obvious that this is what I was going for but Hamal is femme and Arde is butch and they’re constantly squabbling abt aesthetic presentation. Having Arde be straight-up male would’ve been too straightforward of an interpretation and I think it’s funnier this way)

The canonically mentioned murder attempts start taking place and I’m leaning towards Tsubakura eventually being convinced to move out even though it was originally their apartment, albeit mostly just because the wikipedia page for house sparrows mentions that they’re known to take over swallows’ nests, usually after they’ve been abandoned, but they will sometimes drive away or kill the current occupants, and that was a very fun fact to come across when specifically doing research for Len’en but idk how else to incorporate it lol. And so on and so forth up until the present time.

Uhhh is that all I have atm? I think so! Anyway, I think I finally shook out all my suzutsuba doodles (and rambling, though I do still have that fic to work on. idk whether I’ll be able to finish it though; I started strong with an extended metaphor in the middle but Iiiii’m not sure if I can successfully write my way up to it while making it make sense. Also I may draw pretty slow but I write even slower!! Eh I’m sure I’ll post some of it sometime) for the time being so I should theoretically be able to finish up my bigger projects now. Maybe I’ll have the valentines ready in time for white day? We’ll see!

[dia-draws]

Bc I’m going crazy on my main abt ever after high, wanna say this here it’s been ages since I’ve seen the show and I’ve never read the books as a kid but kinda want to now as an adult.

Oc idea/s

So Cupid is from Greek mythos does that mean other Greek mythos characters can exist in that world? I say yes bc fuck you.

Possible tws: talk of assault/rape - it’s Greek mythos be fr rn, how knowning that’ll happen can fuck someone up, Cassandra and Circe

Daughter of Circe

Curse daughter of Scylla into a sea monster out of jealousy of a man

Trust men and then get assaulted/watch your nymph friends get assaulted

Trust issues galore and turn everyone that comes across her isle into animals to protect her loved ones

Get beat by own game and either have to seduce that person or run the risk of dying (nonconsensual lust spell to save her own life)

She doesn’t wanna do or be put through any of that. She’s terrified abt what she will become and the things she be put through. Think of her as a mix of Raven and Briar when it comes to her feelings abt her destiny. She doesn’t wanna become a horrible person that curses others out of jealousy/trauma nor does she wanna have to go through something like a palace take over and be forced by multiple men over months/years (I can’t remember exactly how long the men stayed in Circes place before they managed to kill them all). If asked if she’s rebel or royal she will ask why does it matter? She hates how rebels get a bad name and are bullied/ridiculed by the royals. Hate’s Apple for her hypocrisy and will go out of her way to point out how Apple isn’t as kind as she likes to portray herself. (She literally freed the evil queen bc she wants Raven to be evil, she’s a compelling character but I don’t think my oc would like her). She’s gonna be very manipulative “what do you mean Apple? Why would being a royal or rebel matter? Unless you wanna use that against me somehow? No you’d never do that, right? Treat me differently just because I’m one or the other?” She has a hypothesis abt if she or others write their own fairytales will those come true/the characters come alive and if so can they use that to their advantage to change their destiny’s? She studies the hell out of the story book of legends and any and all iterations of other stories and how they might’ve changed through the generations even if by one minuscule detail. Change is change and can be exploited to find a way out. Hides the story of her destiny from the others

Daughter of Cassandra

Pursued by a son of Apollo which would be EAH Cupid’s fault she hit him w her love arrow

When she continues to deny him he curses her out of pettiness so she can prophesize but no one will believe anything she says

She’d be a rebel and will talk as much as she can until she signs the book. Making positive connections w everyone she can bc she know since she signs it it’s over for good. Excitable and bubbly person. She gets small glimpses of the future even before she signs the book (same way how Raven has some magic before she signs the book).

[hyewka]

rana

rana rana rana

i just read choi yeonjun (and buddy system too but thats for later) and when i tell you i think that fic altered the trajectory of my life, i fucking mean it bc when i tell you i would fuck the shit out of that yeonjun i mean it,, i cant stop thinking abt it actually 😵‍💫 the writing was on point, the descriptives... i think the thing that has always drawn me to your writing is your vocabulary bc every word you use is always the perfect one for that situation holy shit

something abt cocky boys who are so subby actually makes me lose my head a little bit, and the repeated 'this is normal, this is just a one time thing' honestly i think i might need a bit to recuperate. also lets just ignore how the 'condoms in second drawer' made me twitch in a really embarrassing way 🙏 sPlEnDiD

something abt how much you write spit into it also gets me on my knees every time like O.O truly one of the best writers on moablr frfr

and now we have to get into buddy system bc when i tell you sub gyu is my weakness im sure you already know-- himn crying bc he was worried his dick didnt look good had me shaking like idk maybe i like whiny subby boys (or maybe its just txt lol) truly a piece of writing i will die on this hill

i think another part of why your writing is so delicious is you write your dialogue so well!! like ive never thought "oh that was an awkward response" bc it never is like its just so good

also another episode of perv ada printing out rana's fics... while i fuck you straight popped into my head the other night and is def inspo for a scene in my 170 page horny single parent au yeonjun fic (plot twist: its not yeonjun shes fucking) so i printed it and annotated it to find why it was so good, and yet again, it was the dialogue and word use you are just truly on another level <33

hoped you enjoyed my barely coherent review also i think dvp w tyunning could be something to experiment w for kink buffet 😳

When I tell you its been so long since I’ve felt so giddy over an ask, so much so I had to put my phone down and pace around my room for a few seconds because of how excited I got aghh!!!!!! You always deliver with these reviews lol I feel 10x more confident than I usually am about my writing lately—thank you so much, seriously!!! I really liked writing that part in buddy system, crying boys are my weakness and beomgyu’s soooo pretty so it adds to the charm, right?

Im blushing so hard right now i love you❤️ I saw your ask for the event i’m planning for kinktober and I’m definitely going to get on it <3 again you are so kind and thoughtful im beyond grateful and happy over this, genuinely made my day, hell, even month ❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you again, and im happy wifys could help with your vision

[a-libra-writes]

Hello hello! I’ve read your Mordecai posts and THEY’RE SO GOOD!!! I was really wondering if you could please write for Sedgewick! I’ve taken an interest in him since I’ve started reading the Lackadaisy comics more. Maybe the reader is like his secretary or an assistant? Sorry if that’s not much information you can go off of but I really like what you’ve come up with so you can do what you want with it! Anyway, take care and thank you!!!

🏔🪨 been thinking abt Wick ..... had some ideas with this one..... lots of masc+femme options plus overall GN ones. Note this is romantic HCs!

So, how you work alongside Wick depends on your gender due to the times. For a lady, you're an additional secretary who specializes in finance or social engagements. For a lad, you're a consultant in his company for anything from finance to local geology. He took a liking to you right away, both for your personality and looks (though the latter he keeps to himself). If you'd rather not be a subordinate, you can still be a third party consultant or planner of some kind.

You start to realize how much he overworks himself, and perhaps you're just as bad! Before long you're keeping long hours with him in the office, or having to stop by his manor to catch up with some big project. On one hand, he hates keeping you so much, on the other, well. It is nice to have you around so often, and you really help him out when he's frazzled.

It flusters him more and more when you lean over his desk to point something out, or bend over across the room to pick something up. He feels pretty awful about that last one; once Lacy caught him and snapped her fingers loudly in front of him to get his attention.

Because you two work so much together, you get plenty of opportunities to talk - especially when he wants to avoid certain paperwork. He loves listening to you rant about this client, just as he loves going off on his own tangent about that investor. You both start to give nicknames to the difficult ones. Then he listens to you talk about your plans when you're off work, what your family is like, your interests. He could just listen to you talk all day ... many times Lacy has come in to drop off paperwork and you two are still talking, and her boss looks totally starry-eyed.

(I mean he often looks at you like you hang the moon, sooo...)

Wick really wants to invite you out, like. Badly. He hates being cooped up with work, he prefers socializing face to face out in the world. But ... is that appropriate? If you're femme and work for him, this especially bothers him. He ought to make it clear it's strictly platonic, but, uh. It isn't. If you're masc, it's easier to invite you to a simple outing, but ... there's the whole definiately-not-platonic feelings --

(Yeah, a cute guy brings up a loooot of feelings Wick's repressed since boarding school. Oops.)

He settles for lunches because those seem the most innocuous. You start to wonder what his thing about afternoon sandwiches and coffee is all about, considering he keeps forgetting to eat while working (and don't worry, you always bring something back for Lacy!)

When he dozes off at his desk, you like to put a coat or blanket over him ... or just gently nudge him awake and tell him to go home. Wick really prefers to drop you off if it's late, not wanting you to walk or take public transportation at such a late hour also he can show off his car a bit.

When he passes out on the desk, you'll put a blanket or his coat over him. A few times he's been half awake, and it both startles and embarrasses him. If he could, he'd blush to his ears. Wick would really prefer you didn't see that "sloppy" side of him, but come on. It's unavoidable, and he's probably done the same when you've fallen asleep in your own office chair (except he likes putting his own coat over you).

At least once or twice a month, you have to accompany him to work events and gatherings. It's important to schmooze and make connections and all that; if it's not your kind of scene, at least you get a reason to dress up and eat absurdly expensive food. You better believe Wick is looking r e s p e c t f u l l y, even if it's the dozenth event you've attended together. He likes picking you up at your place, as if this is a date and not a charity auction.

... Though, you're often mistaken for his date if you're femme. And if you're masc, sometimes he has to borrow cufflinks or gloves ... yes, he's a little more than giddy to wear your things.

Normally he's a social butterfly, but Wick finds himself frustrated when he's mid conversation with you and he has to stop to visit with some group of investors or fellow businessmen. You excuse yourself, but his eyes still follow you across the room.

While he often compliments you when it comes to him, sometimes Wick worries about it being too much. What if you take it the wrong way? How much is appropriate? While in this era a boss could get away with chasing after his subordinate all he wants, Wick shudders at the idea of you thinking of him that way. And if you're a man, he certainly worries you might think ... well, sometimes he's sure you reciprocate, but he can't just ask, so ...

It's all a jumble that falters the normally relaxed man's confidence. He tells himself he'd be content if you just wanted to be friends. He certainly wants to be friends, at least - he wants you to like him, not merely tolerate him because you're a subordinate or colleague.

On that note, you get lovely presents and generous bonuses at the appropriate times of the year. The birthday and Christmas presents are especially thoughtful and expensive - but of course, Wick doesn't think of the cost. He's totally comfortable presenting Lacy with her gift, but suddenly gets nervous about your's. Yes, he's that obvious ... You'll get flowers or expensive whiskey after closing deals, or maybe just because. Trying to convince him gifts are unnecessary is a losing battle, because as far as Wick's concerned, it's one of the safer ways to show his affection. Though, if it's the cost you're worried about, he'll bug Lacy about what's a good ""normal"" gift (because no, Wick, a $30 floral arrangement 'just because' is not normal! Nor is a $50 lunch!)

If you're femme, Lacy is losing her patience and just tells him to ask you out already. She'll bring it up with you, too - hell, she'll lock you both in a room together because all this doe-eyed mooning and pining is driving her logical brain nuts.

If you're masc, it's a little more tricky. Lacy starts to pick up on the odd vibe between you two, and how Wick seems almost ... mopey when you're away or getting friendly with some other man. She has suspicions, but she can't ask directly. So she makes sure to rearrange appointments so you two have more time together, to make sure you're seated together during dinners and events, and calls you for help, only to suddenly remember something and leave you two alone.

Generally Wick is frequently worrying about his feelings being reciprocated, though with a lady he'd be more open about it and trying to gauge if you're comfortable. Again, he'd really want to remain friends because he admires your expertise, interests and personality ☆

[judeswhore]

i get what u mean because as much as i appreciate all the jude scenario asks i get, it’s so overwhelming sometimes (especially smutty ones) because even though the scenarios are slightly different from one another, it all seems similar in some sort of way and sometimes i just feel like i’m writing repetitive stuff over and over again & it really starts feeling more like a task to respond 😭 i’ve got asks from like atleast 4 months ago that i still haven’t got around to respond to and it keeps accumulating so it gets very overwhelming, yes. but i’d say you don’t have to respond to all of them, especially since you don’t really owe anyone anything. i think it’d be a lot better to start a fresh because then you’d slowly find your rhythm back into enjoying responding to them, especially when there’s no pressure that you’ve got a lot to go through.

i’m so glad i’m not alone in how it feels. like u said it’s always so nice to know people wna talk to u abt all these things but then when u don’t answer for a few days or something they really start to build up. and when u get so many similar topics to discuss it just feels like churning out the same things over and over even when u try to make it different and it does sort of take away a lot of the fun of talking abt jude and makes it seem like a task. i think i’m going to try and get through a majority of the soft ones i’ve been sent but i’m kinda tired of replying to smut bc it honestly just feels repetitive (i’m still so so grateful to everyone that’s sent those things in tho but i think i need a break from them). want to say how much i adore reading through all ur scenarios tho!!! u always write perfection <3 and again i’m glad i’m not the only one who sometimes gets overwhelmed by the numbers

[lilflowerpot]

hello flower! i’ve never submitted an ask to tumblr before, but i just wanted to say this.

(btw, everything in this post is true. it’s kinda an unbelievable story)

i’ve been a fan of LB since it’s publish! i’m pretty sure i discovered it in mid 2018, so i’ve been here for a long time!

i’ve been following ur writing for years and watched you improve annually. i fell in love with your story and writing extremely quickly, and i always looked forward to your new chapters. i distinctly remember feeling ecstatic when keith finally revealed his face !!

however, in 2019, i suffered a catastrophic head injury whilst skiing, which caused me to lose most - if not all - my memories. in truth, i should of died or been in a coma, but i escaped with some critical injuries instead. a broken neck, fractured skull, broken eye socket, the whole shebang lol.

luckily, i was not paralyzed, and i can say now that my recovery has been well! i’m back to being fully functional (sometimes) except for a couple motor control issues.

but the real problem was my memory, i could remember my family and relationships, but i forgot practically every fundamental fact about myself, including my middle name. additionally, i suffered a lot from aphasia and neuro problems which made me struggle to understand sounds coming from people if that makes sense. to cure this, my mom and dad introduced me to (guess what!) voltron. they knew it was my fav show before the crash, so in a sense, they tried to reignite my memories and help work on my sensory processing ability.

i fell in love with the show - again- and watched it during my recovery. probably the only reason i can talk today is because of vld! i find it a little ironic that despite losing myself in the crash, i came full circle. and u can probably guess what happens next!

in 2021, i rediscovered ur fic whilst in the voltron tab. it kinda shocked me to see “Visited: 309” under the fic because i had no recollection of ever reading it. the person i was before must’ve loved it, so i gave it a shot! (btw, me before crash and me now i consider different ppl)

so, i began to read, every word from start to finish. and, as cheesy as it sounds, i think i fell in love again. my recovery has been endlessly difficult and was particularly rough 2020-2021, so this kinda supported me in a way. seeing the growing number of how many times i visited LB reminded me that i had existed the day before.

to give context, every morning i woke up, i would forget almost everything abt myself. eventually that got resolved, but it was jarring. so, seeing that number rise, and reliving the joy of reading LB for the first time gave me hope.

LB means so much to me for this reason. sometimes when it felt like i was losing my humanity to depression and pain, it reminded me that, out there, the previous versions of me were hoping to read LB again. in a sense, i was motivated to read the new chapters as an ode to my previous-day self if that makes sense.

now, 7 months after successfully waking up and remembering the previous day, i am writing this with tears in my eyes. i am writing this with a smile, and i’m writing this with the hope that it reminds you that your literature has saved me, and i’m sure countless other people.

in a way, i view LB as the sunrise. even though there’s the chance that tomorrow never comes, the sunrise serves as a reminder that the previous day existed, and that there are more sunrises to look forward to.

and, to be honest, i think that if i woke up forgetting everything everyday, id be okay with it because i get to read your fic for the first time - again. also, the humor in it is 10/10 haha!!

(also, if u were wondering or worried, i’m also okay with waking up with no memories do to other things and not just LB. incase u were worried that i’m strictly dependent on LB, which i’m not LMAO)

i would’ve submitted this a couple months ago, but i couldn’t put it into words. i don’t think i can possibly explain what you and your fic means to me, so the sun over the horizon will have to do.

even if you think that it’s cheesy that a goofy voltron fic means so much to someone, i hope you find it in yourself to treasure your talent and skill in writing.

i’m so excited for the next chapter, and the next sunrise i get to see <3

here is a pic of the sun i took this morning. thank you for writing, and reading this really long ask. there’s no pressure to respond, although it would be cool to see, but i hope you read this nonetheless. btw u can publish the response if u were wondering.

sincerely,

D <3

I have been trying quite desperately to compose an answer to this one since it first appeared in my inbox, and at this point I don't know that I'll ever be able to do you justice, but two months is far too long for you to have waited for something of this magnitude, so please bear with me while I endeavour to do my absolute best.

First and foremost, I am so sorry for everything you've been through (though I can only assume you've heard that sentiment ad nauseam, so do forgive me if you're sick of it), but more than that I am distinctly and unbelievably proud of the grace with which you seem to have taken such catastrophe in stride. I couldn't possibly claim comprehend the true scope of all that you've endured, but I hope in some small way it might give you,,, comfort? a sense of camaraderie maybe? to know that aphasia is something I'm intimately familiar with as a recurrent symptom of my migraines, due to them being hemiplegic in nature, so I know the frustration of being unable to comprehend sounds you know you should recognise- being unable to articulate your own thoughts- feeling half trapped inside your own damn skull- all too well, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, least of so sweet a soul as yourself.

My darling, I'll say again: I am //fiercely fucking proud// of you, for not only enduring but in truth overcoming all that you have. Though we do not know one another, this message alone bleeds with such admirable strength of character that I cannot think you anything less than a remarkable and resilient individual, and to know that my writing could in any capacity support you through such an ordeal is both an honour and a privilege.

All my love,

lilflowerpot ♡

[neonsbian]

hi vinnie <3 since you’re like my resident writing oomf i gotta ask: do you have any tips on motivating & inspiring yourself to write and get through a writer’s block? seeing you post about your writing is so inspiring but i’ve been struggling for months now rip </3

hmmm tbh i dont rlly have a good answer for you other than teach yourself self-discipline. ive been writing for almost a decade (crazy to think abt lol) and in that time ive basically had to teach myself to commit to writing.

writing is just like any other artform, it's a skill that you build gradually by practicing consistently. the best way to do this is to come up with a goal in your mind and actually work towards this. i don't mean like, deciding you want to write a novel and just writing right away (though that does work for some people) but building steps to slowly achieve that goal.

let's say you want to write a novel. great! the first thing i would do is find time in my schedule to write. a lot of people assume that means sitting down for hours at a time and just typing away but finding time to do that in todays society isnt easy and personally, it's more effective for me to find gaps and short moments to just write for a bit. for me, the most writing gets done when im constrained for time. and you don't have to do it all at once! you can write a little bit at different points of the day too.

i also plan what im going to write before i write it. this doesn't mean i outline necessarily (i don't do that until the second draft) but before writing a scene, ill have a vague idea of what i want to happen in that scene. sometimes it changes as im writing but i never go into writing without a vague idea of what's going to happen.

i think setting a daily goal for yourself is really important. i know writing everyday seems kinda daunting, especially if you didnt do that before but like i said, writing is a skill you build gradually by practicing consistently and you have to be consistent. your daily goal can be a certain page count, word count, or chapter count. whatever works for you. i personally don't rlly like using quantifiable units as my daily goal bc that makes me like check the word count obsessively and prefer to use story markers as my goal instead. basically, i decide before writing i want to reach a certain point in the story by the end of the day. sometimes im in over my head and have to adjust, but it's more useful to think abt it that way for me.

also, if you're just starting out, i would make my daily goal relatively simple and easy to achieve. if word count is how you're counting it, then i'd set it to like 500 words. you might feel frustrated with how slow your progress is but it's more effective to slowly build a story than to write a huge chunk in a short amount of time and then never touch it again. and even if the progress is slow, at least progress is happening!

i know a lot of people have said this but you're also gonna have to allow yourself to write badly. i feel like this something that's difficult to implement into your mindset but it's essential to teach yourself this or else you'll never get anything done. shitty writing doesn't mean you're a shitty writer, it just means that your writing needs more work and the only way to achieve that is by working on it consistently.

i also personally think it's helpful to read the writing processes of other writers and try doing them yourself. lauren groff, for example, writes her entire second draft from memory which sounded absolutely insane to me but i tried it for one of my short stories. that method didn't really work for me but from her method helped me improve my own system. basically for scenes that were in the first draft but were going to be changed pretty drastically, i don't open my first draft at all and just write the scene. every writer's process is different and what works for one writer isn't always going to work for you, but it's still worth a shot to try it and one way or another, it'll help you understand yourself as a writer better.

to me, writing is self-discipline as much as it's art and building a system that works for you is going to take some time but it's necessary to achieve what you're hoping to achieve.

this ended up being longer than i expected but tldr: set a goal, do it everyday 👍

[lqfiles]

heyy uhm thjs is my first time sending these kind of things and i js wanted to say that i really really reallyyyyy love stg, i've been reading it since chapter 10ish? but started following at about 20ish (srry abt that) and ik it doesn't mean much coming from an anonymous person but it makes me very happy (and PROUD) to see how many people are reading it now and how many asks you get :) overall im js immensely proud of you and your work

again ik it does not mean much coming from an anon but still you have no idea how great my days get when i get notis from your acc replying to questions or anons (cause i've figured it usually mean that you'll upload another chapter) ANYWAYS i've been struggling a LOT these few months, and one of the only things I seriously look up to is stg, so again, thank you SO so much :(

you don't even have to reply to this or anything (bc tbh i wouldn't know what to say either lol) but i would appreciate it if you could at least read it and know just how much power your ideas and writing actually have <3

also not sure if 50 was the last chapter (?) i was planning on writing smth like this when the smau ended BUT ITS WHATEVER RLLY !! anyways i will never be able to thank u enough for taking your time in this and genuinely putting effort and feelings on it, you are amazing !!

also im from Chile so idk if i made any mistakes while typing this… whatever i'll make sure to support you through each and every work of yours from now on ! take care <333

(god this was a little long IM SORRY again you don't have to reply to this i js hope u read it and know just how capable and dedicated you are and how happy you can make other people iwnsnsks <3)

anon you actually made me tear up wthh :(( LONG ANSWER INCOMING……

i think this is the best thing i could’ve been told and hear, and the fact that it’s anonymous doesn’t change how much your words mean to me trust me. i honestly wasn’t sure how commited i’d be to this smau since i never have managed to finish a slow burn ideas because of the lack of creativity. but i think the fact that you still kept up from such an early chapter (when i remember pointing out that i’m really just writing this without a full plot yet multiple times) is endearing and don’t worry, i don’t take it to heart that you didn’t follow me immediately loll, for all you knew this could’ve been the shittiest piece of writing and then you’d have to just unfollow lmaooo. also i think it’s cute that those who have kept up from early on until now have witnessed with me the growth of this series and the support on it 😭 i remember when 70 notes in day alone excited me and would get giddy by getting a SINGLE ask hsjdjdjd and now i’ve had chapters with 400 notes and get 10+ asks ??? i didn’t even really dwell on it that you guys who have been ogs too have seen the growth too :(( i think it’s quite funny, because last year, i rarely got any asks and barely checked on this account except for posting some drabbles here and there, and didn’t even speak to any mutuals, i remember i told myself i’d keep this a writing blog only without interacting much at all but ever since stg i’m surprised by the amount of mutuals i’ve made and how many people are really perceiving my account AND how interactive i’ve been even tho i’d usually log out immediately after posting something lmaoo! it’s cute and i appreciate you for sticking around and being proud of me !!! it honestly catches me off guard when some of you say that stg is the highlight of your day or how much you love it or how it has inspired you to start writing yourself, because i can’t comprehend myself being influential like that at ALL 😭😭 but at the same time it warms my heart every time because it makes me feel useful…? i like seeing people happy and feel inspired by something i did so seeing people be so happy of a mere chapter really does make me smile :) i’m sorry to hear that life is hard on you, but again it means a lot to me knowing stg DOES affect your day positively (can’t believe we’ll be reaching the end tho..)

this wasn’t the last chapter, i got two more and then some bonus chapters so i hope you’ll enjoy them and my future work as well anon <33 i’ll continue to pour my effort and feelings into my writing love you and thank you for making time to write this !!!

[pinkbelugacollective]

I’ve seen your post abt injustice and Jon Kent and Ultraman and do you really ally think that the writers would have gone as far as to make Jon an SA survivor? I’m pretty sure that’s way too dark for modern DC, the backlash would have been immense.

i think the writers ARE implying it though, despite whatever censorship guidelines are in place. i myself didn’t think bendis’ initial write-up would stick because it’s just too open-ended. a grown man kidnaps a child and sticks him into a volcano only he has access to, to do what? that’s a fair question to ponder bc the storytelling with jon post-volcano in the bendis run reads more like a war veteran returning home than anything else. we just never saw WHAT kind of war jon was fighting.

there have been multiple openings since bendis left for editorial to undo what he first kicked off. both phillip kennedy johnson and tom taylor had a chance to retcon or take the story in a different direction, but didn’t. instead, kennedy johnson used jon’s desperation not to lose his daddy to fuel clark’s own manpain. taylor then went ahead and doubled down on bendis’s initial tidbits about the emotional and physical abuse, and then developed it more towards an emotionally incestuous dynamic where ultraman’s key method of abuse was using jon as therapy dog. lots of fancanon depicts ultraman grooming him into a mini soldier or torturing him for a reaction, but we don’t see that with bendis, kennedy johnson, OR taylor. if anything, it’s pretty consistent since the initial age-up to now that ultraman’s core driver with jon is his desire to own him, and using emotional, physical, and sexual violence isn’t really off-brand with someone like kal il. jon, in return, is obsessive about his parents bc of the trauma he’s carrying.

then, in aosjk, taylor went about as close to a confirmation as i think we’ll ever get about his abuse because ultraman once again had no desire to groom jon into a monster to sic him on our superman. his desire was to take him back to the volcano and play with him, which is about as close to an implicit rape threat as anyone’s ever gonna get because because you’re probably right. i don’t think editorial would ever have anyone outright SAY jon was a victim of child sex abuse, because i don’t think anyone in editorial really cares about his character enough to explore it.

but i do appreciate how writers were at least able to hold the strings together from bendis until now to at least close out the ultraman angle by showing his obsession with jon really wasn’t about our clark anymore.

and to be honest…. any backlash from the readership would only really happen if people were reading lol, but i have noticed upon my return to this company that uh….. they don’t be opening them books 😂😂😂 i mean if they were, there might have been a fair attempt to read jon’s current characterization as the actions of someone suffering from the trauma of sexual abuse without any closure. they wouldn’t be calling him a fascist just for hugging injustice!superman. nuance and context are key, but if readers aint reading, then dumb shit will continue to make waves versus the truly nuanced shit.

you see a lot of cryin about how baby jon was a better character, but like, a nepobaby paired with another nepobaby having nepobaby adventures is gonna be WAY more easy to relate to and project into than a story about some guy being beaten, choked, and threatened to be taken back to his childhood prison by his childhood rapist. that’s hard shit to read. do i wish anyone but tom taylor was writing it? yes, but beggars can’t be choosers 😂

but to be fair, i’ve only been back on dc comics for like seven months after almost a ten year hiatus. the last mainline book i read was new 52 rhato, which killed my interest for good. if the books since then have really been as hollow and neutered as you imply, then there’s no hope for this company bouncing back ever. i still got years of content to read since new 52 began, so you might be right! comic codes authority 2: electric boogaloo, we back baybey! 😂😂😂

[mangoisms]

hiiii it’s dc anon <33 oh lord icb u also like the grishaverse like at this point i feel like we have the same brain (which would actually be amazing cuz ur like an amazing writer i want an ounce of ur talent) also !!!! absolutely adore how ck is going i can’t wait to see how steph beats tim up so he can finally stop being the way he is (which probably will never happen because he’s … well … u know …. tim but still). and wait omg before i forget, i loved what u did with jason like idc that he was there for such a small amount of time hes my favorite batfam character and i’m so tired of people completely missing the point of his character (and fuck dc for what they did to him !!!!) thank u so much for doing him justice and taking him away from the vigilante / violent lifestyle, my guy deserves a break.

i feel like this is already insanely long but i saw ur posts abt project hail mary (i hope i didn’t get the name wrong). i thought it sounded pretty interesting and considering that we might as well have the same tastes i was wondering if u could possibly drop some books / book series recs ??? i’m so sorry if this is annoying but i’ve been in a reading slump since the beginning of the month 😭

anyway !!! i know i say this in every single ask i send but u really are amazing pls take care and good luck with the new semester i know ur gonna do amazing, just remember to take it one day at a time <3

HI DC ANON <333 YOU TOO? omg… our minds… that is such a cool coincidence!!!! honestly so happy about it, like daiya. dc. grishaverse. omg. so cool!!! we’re basically bffs now <3 (also this is very long so under the cut <3)

WLDMEKDKEK yeah… yeah… tim is certainly… tim…. but no worries at least here he will Face The Consequences Of His Own Actions. if there’s anything i like to do with him, it’s That. so without saying too much. He will certainly be getting a dressing down from Some People….

OMG? OF COURSE i love jason so much he rotates in my brain just as much as tim (a lot more now that i’m shifting away from tim actually, jason and someone else i shall not name yet…) like he was what drew me into dc in the first place, he will always have a special place in my heart.. and there is just SO MUCH potential for his character and dc will never cash in on it. instead they give him crowbars as a weapon and use him as a prop for bruce and it’s just. UGH.

civilian nurse!jason is in my brain constantly. so much so that i’ve thought about doing something for him. i don’t like to mention fic ideas until they’ve been posted/started writing (that way i know they’re actually feasible!) but for u beloved dc anon i will happily make an exception… so one idea that rotates in my brain a lot is that. civilian nurse!jason i mean, it doesn’t take place in gotham but somewhere else, maybe something like a small town. he’s in pediatrics and something something lonely/unsure what to do now. fulfilled by his job but still missing a social aspect and YEAH. yeah. something about hope something about humanity i’m not sure. like i said it’s a super rough idea that i’d like to do but not sure if i ever will but. for you <3

don’t worry about the length i absolutely do not mind!!! i love talking to you <33 and you aren’t annoying at all!!! i’ve got some recs!!! and you are right hehe it’s project hail mary by andy weir!!! it is SUCH an excellent book, i highly HIGHLY recommend it!!! the martian by him is also pretty good (not as good as project hail mary and with a bit more math too but still understandable!).

for recs… let’s see! i’m not too into fiction these days actually, i lean more into nonfiction and honestly i haven’t read as much as i’d like to (i’m also in a reading slump but project hail mary got me going!) so let’s see

ones i have read and recommend and sorted into categories:

fiction

project hail mary by andy weir

the martian by andy weir

an orestia translated by anne carson

frankenstein by mary shelley (i feel basic for this one but it’s timeless it’s so good even if you had to read it for high school… picking it up on your own and reading it it is excellent)

nonfiction

the body keeps the score by bessel van der kolk (personal favorite and also Very appealing to the psych major part of me so that might skew it)

the art of loving by erich fromme (also a personal favorite)

like streams to the ocean by jedidiah jenkins

poetry

dog songs by mary oliver (i have a collected volume of her poems as well, i think it’s vol 1?)

the carrying by ada limón

currently attempting to read right now (as in i’ve been on it a while…): pride and prejudice by the myth the legend herself jane austen. also currently rereading ruin and rising by leigh bardugo (this and siege and storm went by quickly but again they’re re-reads so much easier)

ones that are on my to-read that i’ve heard great things about:

fiction

if beale street could talk by james baldwin,

sense and sensibility and emma by miss jane austen once again!

nonfiction

all about love by bell hooks

attached by amir levine and rachel heller

i hope this helps!!! and if you happen to have any recs, let me know!!!

this got so very long but i love talking to you so thank you so much for popping in <33 and thank you for your kind words as well <33 i hope you’re doing better and taking care of yourself too!!!! :** <33

[loplainlointhemorning]

like idk I had a whole conversation with a guy yesterday about how everything Ryan Murphy makes is trash (which is true artistically & depth-wise if ur comparing it to like, art house media or whatever) while I was expressing how much I really love Glee and about how I watched it with my sister on request the other night and it made me sob bc it reminded me that I need to do music and art bc I love it, not just to be successful financially/in terms of popularity. and I was tryna be cool & explain that and this guy is like “well I could get past xyz if it weren’t for the shitty writing” and it’s like okay like yes glee is shitty and bad and dorky but it’s also a T rated show and is probably not for adult men nor is it made to be deep, it’s supposed to have heart and be silly and that’s what it does. and Even if it’s the worst thing ever like, I’m sharing it with you and saying I love it so like being like “this is totally awful” is kinda really mean.

then multiple guys i know, & this guy in particular, have come down SO hard on lana del rey/the new album in particular and again, I get it. she can be and generally has been, for the past few years, really pretentious and boring. she’s very wealthy and out of touch and obnoxious and Christianity-dependent and not cool. but I’m clearly, if you’ve talked to me at all or followed me for any length of time, a big fan despite that. I’ve been really burnt out for the past few months since school started and she’s pretty much all I listen to bc it goes down easy and it’s comforting. and when A&W dropped I was so excited and I showed it to this same guy who ragged on Glee & he was like “oh so it just turns into another minimalist pop song” and it’s like yeah. okay yes it does. but the lyrics are about exploitation and losing your relationship with your mother and losing your connection to yourself and existing to be pretty and existing to get high on either orgasms or amphetamines, and like that’s relatable. it’s about the fucking mask breaking. and like. even if you can’t relate, I am trying to SHARE this with you? like I’m excited about this? you can disagree without needing to prove how much better u are than me.

and idc really if a guy hates what I like or thinks the opposite of me? i just don’t think you need to Emphasize how stupid and boring you think the shit I like is. like cool okay. i could go on at length about how I have a 3.7 GPA and got into a fancy performing arts program in Richmond and I’ve been writing songs for 5 years and singing for ten years and playing guitar for 7 years and abt how hard I at least TRY to work and on and on like I could mention that I take philosophy so seriously that I’m reading optional materials on causality and determinism and my reading comprehension is improving and just like. Like I COULD explain why I’m worth listening to and why I’m probably smarter than you and why I’m worth being kind to. But none of those things r actually what make me like, meaningful on planet earth. I’m meaningful on planet earth bc I like something and I’m trying to show you how cool it is instead of hoarding it or hiding it or whatever. And you hate it to my face? literally for who?

i wanna explain why men being shitty about fundamentally female-enjoyed pieces of media is lowkey dreadfully painful but it’s like, hard, imma try tho bc I’m clearly not getting anything done today

[butlersbabe]

austin butler x reader– cloud nine

an: hi! i’m so sorry i’ve been kinda flaky on writing. i hope this pleases you bc i just barely got it done before 4am. anyways, this contains smut so minors DNI!!

warnings: smut? use of marijuana. that’s abt it.

words: 2.9k

The sound of cars passing, trucks honking and people hollering all kinds of things filled your room. You left your window open, it made you feel more connected to the outside world. Tomorrow's your day off, so you were geared up to treat yourself to whatever you pleased for the next twenty-four hours. You didn't have much on your mind since you'd been using your tired brain all day at your job that was just a shy of a block away.

On your way home, you stopped at the local dispensary. The employee who usually helped you let you know your favorite strain was back in stock, Pineapple Express. So of course, he hooked you up with a good deal since you'd went a while without it. And you made your way home. So here you are. At home, on the bed, deciding when you should dig into your new possession.

Just when the world could get any darker due to your eyes closing, nodding off from absolute boredom and exhaustion, your phone buzzed. It was Austin. You smiled at the screen, you hate that he made you do that but you kind of loved it.

Austin and you met through a mutual friend about two months ago. She said that she’d heard he has dick that would “make you see stars” or something like that. You didn’t care about that just yet. You wanted to know him. And you were getting to. You weren't quite dating yet but he was yours, you were his. The two of you had only hung out a handful of times, one or twice at your apartment and once or twice at his. You guys haven't even kissed. That didn't mean he didn't make you nervous still. A guy as popular, well, famous, as Austin should be hanging out around you. He should be with some girl who did more than just go to work and pay taxes. The situation was odd. But you more than liked it.

"Hey :)"

He'd mentioned that he was going to text you after his interview or something like that. Austin never let his promises fall through. This was turning out to be something you figured you wouldn't regret. He was sweet, loyal, one of those "too good to be true" kind of things. As long as you did your part, this may be a good deal.

"Hi there!" You reply.

You two ask about each other's day, what you did, what you both ate. And soon enough, you were on the question you knew was coming along. He asked if he could come over? Of course you wanted him to, but your apartment wasn't clean at all, you weren't motivated to clean it but you knew it had to be done. "Of course!" You reply, sending it with hesitation. Quickly, you type up another message reading, "See you in about an hour?" You really hoped he'd agree because you definitely didn't have the apartment looking presentable.

"An hour. I'll be there."

It was settled, he'd be here in an hour.

You quickly hop up from you spot on your bed. And get up, speedily stripping away your waitress uniform leaving you in sweaty undergarments. Flinging those off your body, you take the fastest shower you've ever taken, shaving just in case anything happens. But why would it? The two of you haven't even kissed, my held hands but that was it. Hopping out and drying off, you threw on something comfortable and left your damp hair to do what it wanted while you cleaned.

Your room was the easiest, throw everything in the hamper, straighten up your vanity, close the closet door. Kitchen was already pretty clean, so was the bathroom. You fixed the living room up, you only had a couple things on the floor and some cups on the coffee table. You throw those in the sink and then you were done. It wasn't much. But it was cleanish and your job was done. You should set unrealistic standards for yourself, honestly.

Walking back into your room, you looked at your phone and notice only about 45 minutes have passed. That left you 15 minutes for absolutely nothing. You wandered back to the side of your bed closet to your window and sat next to your little black cup of weed. Popping it open, you let the aroma fill your nose. You sit it on your night stand and open the drawer and pull out a book of little, white rolling papers and pluck one from the stack. Sprinkling your weed into the paper, you check the time again. You have plenty of time to smoke before he got here. Finishing the joint, you take it outside the opened window, a lighter and ashtray already found a home there on your spacious window sill, leaving your phone inside.

Lighting the stick up, you cover the flame from any lingering breezes. Thank god the shop had this stuff, otherwise, you would probably be smoking some trash Reggie that you only bought because you didn't feel like spending a lot of coin on anything else. Once the soft orangey glow formed at the end of your joint, you tossed the lighter back into the tray.

You take a puff or two before giving yourself a breather. Your leg shakes with anticipation, you hoped Austin wouldn't have a problem with this. You'll eventually tell him at some point but you didn't really know how to ask him about it. It wasn't even a sensitive subject to you, you just couldn't imagine the immense embarrassment that would run through your body had he found out and was indefinitely against it.

You take another drag and let the smoke fall from your freshly chap-sticked lips. You could feel your body begin to numb and thoughts become a little fuzzy. You worries were being whisked away. This feeling was one you never wanted to get rid of.

"Y/N?"

Shit. Austin. She must've left the door unlocked or something. But he was here and she was smoking this strong substance.

You turn around the top half of your body around and sheepishly smile at him. "Hey, Aus." Aus? Really??

Austin was dressed in a black jacket and jeans with some expensive designer shoe on. He stepped closer and looked at you and studied what your were in the middle of.

"Whatcha doing?" His husky voice asks, as he makes his way outside with you, placing himself between your and the stairs to then next floor. "Ah," You couldn't lie now, you were caught green handed. "I'm just smoking. Helps we chill out and have a good time. Just makes me feel good." You answered honestly. Austin nods, and looks at the white roll in between your index finger and thumb.

"Could I have some?"

Your head snaps towards him in shock. You didn't think he smoked.

"You smoke?" You asked, puzzled in regards to what the blonde boy said.

"Well. I- I haven't-"

He stopped himself before he could fumble over anymore words and spoke his next words coyly.

"No, I don't usually. I haven't in a good while."

You were overly relieved to say the least. "Um, then, sure. Don't inhale too-" You speak while handing him the joint but don't get your last word out before he begins to suck on the stick. You let him continue until he lets off and starts to cough up a lung. You give a slight chuckle and pat his back to help loosen his chest up. "Damn, Austin." You shake your head and ask if he's okay and he responds by taking another hit but not as deep. He still struggles to inhale again but does it, surely.

"Here, give me that back." You say taking the joint away. "Open your mouth." You ordered, holding his jaw with your free hand. You take a long drag and then pucker your lips to blow the smoke into his mouth. "Now inhale." And he does so, no near as much coughing as he had done just minutes earlier. You let go of his face and take a hit for yourself. Then give the joint back to Austin. "Go easy on it." You tell him.

Soon enough you're both left with a stinger abc you toss that into the ashtray with the rest of your joint butts. You both step back into your room, lavender and weed now have become the codependent smells. The city become too loud for you so closing the window was a move you had to make before taking Austin to sit on the bed. You can tell he's feeling warm and fuzzy. "How you doing?"

He turns to you with a big grin and glossy, red eyes and sits for a slight second before laughing at the question which set you off as well. The cackles ring through the room and down the hall. You two were pretty high. You both look at each other after the giggle fit and decide it's time to go get a snack.

You got up and asked him, "Hey, you hungry?" And he shakes his head. You take off to the kitchen and grab a pack of pepperoni pizza bagel bites, your personal favorite post smoke sesh snacks. He followed you around the kitchenette like a lost puppy, his hand on your waist, your hand is his, or his head laying on your shoulder at almost all times. You didn't quite mind this though. It was kinda cute.

"Y/N." Austin whined to you during the only split second his wasn't skin-to-skin with you. You scoffed, sarcastically and went over to him, his lanky arms enveloping you.

As soon as they were done, you transferred them to a plate and took it to your bedroom for you two to chill out and eat. You both devour the snack food and place the plate to the side, freeing up room on the mattress.

"Austin." You giggle.

"Y/N." He chortles back.

"I'm so high." And it was like you said the funniest thing on earth. The bed shook just from you two howling in laughter at absolutely nothing. Austin then listened to you ramble about countless conspiracy theories and "what-if's." He was stunned by what you were saying and kept out of the talking.

"So if a robber didn't break in-"

"I'm telling you, it was the brother!"

The two of you sat on the ground, Austin playing with your fingers. He looks up to you, he surveys your face, and hums. “You’re so pretty.” And of course, you thank him. He begins to lean in and you quickly change the subject to another thing, something about the Mandela Effect.

An hour or so had passed and you both were still settled into your highs. On the bed, you now sat face to face, his arm across your waist, pulling your body into his. Only the light from the window and the bright moon filled your room. That was just enough to see his immaculate features. You studied him, his beautiful face and all. The blue eyes, the blond hair. Everything. He was so beautiful, and not just because your were still in the middle of a tingling high.

"I like you a lot." He says hushed.

You were a bit taken aback but you grinned. "I like you a lot too."

Pulling your body in more, as if it you two could get any closer, he moves his face towards yours. "Can I kiss you?" And you nod shyly. Your eyes close. Your lips finally touched. No fireworks or anything like that but instead a feeling of something indescribable. You take your free hand and caress his soft face. Austin moans through the kiss, his crotch searching for any friction.

You break away from the kiss and push him to laying on his back. Throwing a leg over his waist, you straddle his waist. Your lips attach to his neck, sucking a couple, well a few marks onto his tan skin. His large, veiny, hands grip your ass, moving your hips across his hardening dick in his pants. You grew wetter by the second, hearing him moan with sexual hunger. "Fuck, Y/N." He whimpers. He was shuddering under your touch, completely encapsulated by the feeling of your heat pressed against his. You pull at his shirt, letting him know you were ready to discard the garment, you doing the same to yourself, leaving you in your beautiful skin and that only.

"You're excited, aren't you, baby?" You ask, sitting up and rolling your hips against his. He makes a sound too sweet for this world and you stop, knowing what you wanted your next move to be. Slipping down to where you sat in between his legs. Your fingers undo his belt, the button on his jeans then the zipper. You tug down his jeans and boxers letting his cock fling out from his boxers and slap his quickly rising and lowering stomach. His tip was already shiny and slick with pre-cum. You smiled at the sight, pulling his jeans the rest of the way off of his legs. Seeing Austin like this made you want to melt. His hungry eyes were yearning for your touch.

You sat on your knees between his running your nails down his thighs. Slowly, you lower your face to the head of his penis, lick a wet stripe up the length of it and take it into your mouth. He lets out a throaty moan, head dropping onto the pillows beneath his head. You bob up and down, focusing on tip. He let out some of the most heavenly moans you’ve heard tangled up with profanities. You’re so enthralled by the way he sounded and looked. Your tongue swirls and his hips buck to hopefully feel more of the feeling he was receiving. You let go of his dick with a wet pop and take his length into your hand. Still moist with saliva, you start to jerk him off. You run your hand up and down the most sensitive part of his dick, keeping a steady pace, slow enough to drive a man crazy.

“Fuck, y/n.” He pants, sitting up to get a better look at what your were doing to him, his eyes still lazy and red. You made him go wild with the teasing. His legs shook, sensitive to the touch most likely due to the high he was having. Austin was getting more eager to fuck you with each passing stroke.

“Feel good, baby?” You taunt him.

He had had enough at this point. Pushing you back, you land with your head just barely missing the edge of the bed. He pulls your legs from under you and peels your sweats from your legs, taking your underwear with them. Austin positions his face between your legs and begins to suck on your thighs, leaving deep purple marks. One, then two, and a third on the other. You could feel his warm breath on your wet pussy. He was making you rethink teasing him.

“Austin-“ You choke out, gripping his blonde locks. “P-Please, fuck.”

He didn’t hesitate to put his tongue in between your folds. Only kitten licks were given to your fragile clit. Austin wanted to make you break. You feel two fingers play at your hole, soon after thrusting in and out as the licks got more intense. A groan from your chest was released, letting Austin know he was doing a good job. “Oh my fucking god.” You manage to breathe out. Austin begins lapping at your clit giving you the most euphoric feeling you’ve felt in a good while.

“Shit, Austin, I’m so fucking close-“ Your legs close on his head as you cum,

You give him a hazy look and he smiles, spreading your legs a bit further. He started to find his way between your legs, keeping eye contact the whole time he lines himself up with you. Pushing in, you gasp at his girth. You both moan in sync, the feeling of being one for the first time was a good one. Even better than you’d initially thought it’d be.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking tight, baby. I could fuck you all night.”

He spends no time waiting to start pumping in and out of your wetness. You wrap your arms around his back, legs propped up and splayed as far as they possibly could. The sound of both of your pleased senses and skin meeting skin continuously fills the room.

You feel his cock hitting your g-spot and you start to lose control of your body, nails scratching at his back. You felt the his breathing pick up signaling his climax coming soon. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum again, Austin.”

You gasp, clenching you walls around his dick. He keeps fucking into you, your g-spot repeatedly being hit. “Don’t cum yet, baby. Cum with me. I’m so fucking close.”

You felt as if you could let go at any moment, he strokes a few more times before his panting hitches, “Oh my god.” He slurs, you both let out moans to surely be heard by your neighbors. You cum and grasp his bicep, hoping something would keep you steady. He pulls out and cums onto your stomach. “Goddamn, y/n.”

You laid there, chest rising in short breaths. He reaches for a towel hanging out of your hamper and cleans you up, himself, then wipes himself off.

“You wanna go take a shower?” You ask. And he nods, taking your hand before the two of you run off to the bathroom.

[marvelwoman-sugarbaby]

Idk if this falls under clingy but if you want to can u write abt reader who has to stay at the compound for some reason and they love reading story books but they never talk so Natasha just follows them around the compound hoping for their attention, then one day reader just offers to read to her out loud and that’s how their relationship started, slow burn pls if u decided to write it, and if u do also thanks

The Bookworm and The Assassin

Requested Clingy!Natasha x Fem!Reader

You didn’t specify if you wanted GN!Reader or Fem!Reader and Fem is what I use if not told so I hope that’s okay.

When word are like … (insert sentence) … this, it means this is future person talking

Words:1479

Genre: Fluff

Warning: none

Summary: Read the request box above

Natasha POV

Y/N has been at the compound for a couple of months. They have never talked ever, when she was introduced Fury spoke for her. She is Fury's daughter, and we were given the task of watching her since Fury is constantly doing other things. Y/N helps whenever someone asks for help but, for the most part, she has her nose in a book.

For some reason I found myself drawn to her. I love to be around her and I wish she would let me hug her or something but I can’t. So any chance I get I will follow her around, whether she's helping or reading though most of the time she’s reading. Like right now I followed her from the kitchen to the library where she took a seat on the couch and has been in her little world since.

-----------------

Right now Y/N is in the kitchen so I’ve taken it upon myself to make sure she eats something. She has been reading here for twenty-five minutes, which means she will most likely leave to find a different spot in five minutes. I’ve taken it upon myself to find out things like that about her. I can’t cook much but I can make simple eggs, bacon, and rice. Once I had finished the five minutes were up and just like I expected she got up and started moving. I still don’t know why she does it, but nonetheless, I still follow her with the food and a cup of water.

Once she sits down I go up to her and show her the food. “This is for you, you need to eat.” She looks at it and takes the food. I put the water down on the coffee table in front of us and took a seat next to her. Creepy or not I watch as she continues to read, but also eats. Once she’s finished her plate she puts it on the coffee table and takes the water to drink a bit. She goes right back to reading once she’s done. I look away when it gets way too creepy, even for me.

Y/N POV

I’ve been in the library with Natasha for a while now and I haven’t been able to retain a single word since we’ve gotten here because of all her starring. Now that she is looking away I can’t help but wonder why she is always following me around. So against my better judgment, I put my book down and look right at Natasha. “Do you want me to read to you?” Natashas head wiped to look at me so fast I’m surprised she didn’t get whiplash. She looks at me with wide eyes for a few seconds and just nods, so I start going back to the page I know I last read. “You don’t have to start from the beginning.” I look up at her with a smirk. “I know I’m just going to the last page that I actually read because someone was staring at me the whole time.” She looks down. “Sorry.” “Don’t be, as creepy as it is, I guess it’s also quite amusing.” I look back to my book and continue to flip through until I get to the page I was on.

-----------------

Once I finish I go to my room and put it back, with Natasha following me. I head back to the library and start looking for another book. “Why do you always change where you read in the middle of reading?” I look at Natasha before looking back and continuing to find another book. “It’s nice to have a change in scenery every once in a while.” “Every thirty minutes, you mean.” I look back at her again and try to find any malice, but when I don’t I go back to what I was doing. “When you grow up with Fury as your father you pick up a few things. He’s not the best dad but he does try, and with his work, some people don’t exactly like him. So he taught me not to be in one place for too long. I guess I’ve done just that for so long I do it without even realizing it.”

Once I find another story I go to the compound living area. “What’s that book about?” “Don’t know I haven’t read it yet.” Her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. “Can’t you just read the summary?” I smile at her. “Now where’s the fun in knowing what’s coming.” She smiles back. “I guess there isn’t any,”

When I’ve been reading for a while I get up and start walking to find someplace new. “Let’s go back to the kitchen, we need to eat. It's already dinner time.” I look back at the time and it's seven and I’m hungry so I go to the kitchen with Natasha. “Do you think everyone ate yet?” Natasha looks at me and shrugs. “Doubt it. Friday, did anyone eat today?” “No Ms. Romanoff. Would you like me to bring everyone down?” “No thank you.” Natasha looks back at me. “Well, there’s your answer.” Instead of answering Natasha, I look up. “Friday, can you see if anyone is opposed to having lasagna for dinner.” “Everyone says lasagna sounds good Ms. Fury.” “Thank you, Friday.”

When we enter the kitchen I take out all the ingredients I will need. “Okay I get that those eggs that I gave you for lunch were good, but that is all I can make. Anything else I make will turn into a soup or a burnt pig.” This gets a laugh out of me. “Don’t worry I’ll be making food if you want to help. I can give you specific details so nothing turns into soup or burnt pig.”

While I’m cooking I ask Natasha to continue to read the book to me, which she does. When the lasagna finished baking I had Friday bring everyone down for dinner. The first people there are Sam and Bucky wrestling each other to get food first, so I give them both a smack on the head as well as a very practiced death stare. Which in turn causes them to stop. Right behind them is a very amused Steve and Wanda about to laugh at what just happened. I give them a smile and go to the dining table. After five minutes everyone but Tony and Bruce is down. So I pull Natasha in by the arm which catches everyone's attention. I whisper to Natasha to have Bruce and Tony come down now with a little extra just to encourage them to come out of the lab. “Friday, tell Tony and Bruce to come down otherwise Y/N will bring in by their ears.” I continue to eat while all that is being said like it was the usual. Everyone else is looking at me because I never talk to anyone. Not that long later Tony and Bruce come in saying apologies.

Everyone continues to eat saying praises as well as trying to get me to talk to them. Which I don't. I just give them smiles. I never really liked talking to people I barely know. Natashas the only exception because she would follow me around constantly. Whenever I wasn't reading and I was alone helping with something she would tell me about herself and her day. I wouldn’t tell her that …well at least not until we had gotten married… but, I look forward to that every day.

Once I’d finished eating I waited for Natasha and we both went to the roof with a little light to help read. When I looked back at the time it was already nine so I went to my room. As I was about to enter Natasha stopped me. “Is everything okay Natasha?” “Yeah, everything is good, great even I was just wondering- you don’t have to say yes, but it would be great- I mean if you would- but you know-” “Natasha.” I try “I know you’ll probably say no-” “Natasha.” It still doesn't work. “But you know it never hurts to try right-” “NATASHA!” That finally gets her attention. “Yes.” “You need to calm down Natasha, now breathing in… and out. Good, now you can try again.”

“Right, Y/N Fury will you go out with me?” She says looking in my eyes with so much hope. I smile right back at her. “I would love to.” She starts smiling so hard her smile reaches her eyes. “Great, perfect I will pick you up tomorrow and we can go to the Italian pizza place that you love.” “Okay, sounds good. I will see you tomorrow.” I go back into my room and jump around a bit. Once I’ve exerted all my remaining energy I get ready for bed and sleep.

[yoongiseesawmp3]

just about perfect - seonghwa

howdy folks, back with another fic but i’m switching it up on ya! i might start writing regularly for ateez as well so y’all are cool with that right? right.

summary: this is NOT inspired by seonghwa saying he watches nevertheless. why would you even think that.

warnings: not the kind of warning u were expecting but there’s no smut (i know its based off a show abt friends with benefits so that’s why i’m warning u. do not get ur hopes up) a little cussing, a lotta me waxing poetic abt the perfect man park seonghwa. also slight tomfoolery from the teezers

word count: 10.6k

the bookstore just off campus is your current go-to study spot, mostly because the cafe inside has a drink special where you buy one coffee and get a voucher for the new bakery next door. so, let’s just say the past few days you’ve been well caffeinated and well fed. you’re on the way there now, already planning out what your treats are going to be. 

today you were supposed to meet your “study group” after your last class of the day, but it looks like you’re the only one here so far. and you say “study group” loosely, the professor for your music theory elective encouraged everyone to make a study group for the upcoming final and your group of friends chose to work together. there’s been no studying going on, though.

especially not when hongjoong’s new friend seonghwa has been flirting with you literally nonstop. he’s apparently friends with everyone else in your group too. san knows him from an art class they took together last semester, meanwhile wooyoung and yeosang claim they lived on seonghwa’s floor freshman year and he always bought them booze. seonghwa denies it, only because hongjoong would slap him if he admitted to buying alcohol for underage kids. 

tasteful delinquency aside, seonghwa is a fine person. you mean personality fine, not like, fine fine even though san would beg to differ. he knows you’ve developed a thing for seonghwa despite trying not to, and he’s secretly trying to get you two together. 

which is why san suddenly texts you and says he can’t make it, and neither can yeosang or wooyoung. they decided to ditch studying to practice for the final in their dance class instead, so it’ll be just you, seonghwa and hongjoong. and little did you know, hongjoong was trying to do the same thing as san. so we’ll see how this goes. 

- 

“y/n, you can’t do that,” hongjoong warns you, referring to the scale you were trying to fill out. 

“why not?” you ask, looking down at your work and wondering what’s wrong.

“because it’ll sound like shit,” seonghwa replies before sipping his coffee. 

“what he said,” hongjoong agrees, grabbing your paper and erasing some of the notes you had scribbled out. “it should look more like this.”

you glance over at what he’s done on top of your old work and sigh. you took this class because you like music, and you thought learning about how it works would be interesting, but it’s hard. 

“can’t you just do all my work for me?” you plead. at this rate, you don’t think you’ll be able to pass the final. 

“no, i don’t want you dragging me down in this class,” hongjoong replies. “my grades are great.” 

“i hate you.”

“what are you struggling with, y/n?” seonghwa asks as he finally looks up from his laptop. he had been working on an assignment for another class this whole time because he, like hongjoong, is great with music theory. so maybe this study group was a good thing. 

“here, you can switch seats with me,” hongjoong says as he clears the spot next to you on the weathered loveseat. “i’m going to look for a book i should’ve started reading two weeks ago.” 

before you can protest, seonghwa is sliding his laptop across the coffeetable and slides himself into the spot next to you. when he sits you notice your thighs are touching, which is weird because there was plenty of space when hongjoong was here. you don’t know that seonghwa is doing this on purpose, that hongjoon really left so he could flirt with the cute cashier in the cafe to give you and seonghwa some alone time. 

“so,” seonghwa starts once he’s settled. “what are you struggling with?” 

“hmm, all of it?” you reply. your answer makes seonghwa smile, and you like the way his eyes sparkle when he does.

“then i guess we’ll be here a while.”

-

about an hour later, seonghwa has walked you through all the major and minor scales you need to know for the test and you’re starting to understand a little more. you’re still having problems with the back of the study guide where you have to come up with note combinations that can apply to those scales, but you have time to work on that since the final is two weeks out. right now, your brain is fried and you need a break. 

“do you mind if i go get a coffee?” you ask seonghwa, who was in the middle of sending you the minor scale cheat sheet he made. he looks up from his laptop and shakes his head before he speaks.

“i would only mind if i can’t come with you.”

“it’s literally right over there, why do you need to come with me?” you question.

“i think i would just miss you too much,” he pouts, and you roll your eyes. seonghwa shuts his laptop and stands up. “what if i need coffee too?”

“you already had one,” you remind him as you stand.

“yeah,” he nods. “but teaching you is exhausting, so i need another. c’mon.”

he walks ahead of you to the counter, and you’re too busy searching for your wallet to notice he took his jacket off, revealing a sneaky tattoo on the back of his neck. it isn’t until you’re behind him in line that you get a look at the hand drawn star right on the nape of his neck, and you have to refrain from reaching out to trace the lines.

“i didn’t know you had a tattoo,” you decide to say. he turns around and instinctively rubs his hand across the tattoo, smiling at you with those sparkly eyes again.

“yeah, i have a couple,” he replies. “but this one is my favorite.”

“why?”

“because my name means ‘to become a star’, so i like knowing that i have a reminder with me all the time,” he explains.

“nice. it’s really pretty.”

“thanks, so are you.”

“sir?” the barista calls, pulling seonghwa’s attention from you. he steps up to give his order as you stare at the tattoo again, noticing alongside it a couple of freckles that almost make it look like a constellation.

“y/n?” seonghwa’s voice draws you out of your thoughts and you realize he’s finished ordering. “what do you want?”

“oh, i can get it,” you begin, but he cuts you off.

“no, my treat,” he insists, and you sheepishly walk up to the counter to give your order. seonghwa makes a mental note of what you get, and he also snatches the bakery voucher from you before you can put it in your pocket. you make a confused sound and seonghwa laughs. 

“why’d you do that?” you whine.

“you only get to use it if you come with me to the bakery later,” he teases. “say yes or i’m drinking your coffee and getting myself an extra cupcake.”

“fine,” you huff. “but i have an assignment due at midnight, so i can’t stay long.”

“it’s 4pm, that’s not enough time for you to finish it?” he asks while you step out of the way for the next customers.

“i haven’t started yet,” you admit. 

“you like saving things until the last minute, don’t you?”

“what makes you say that?”

“well, it looks like you haven’t been studying music theory at all, and now this,” he shrugs. 

“not everybody can be perfect like you, park seonghwa,” you grumble as the barista places two coffee cups on the bar. you hear seonghwa giggle shortly, and you give him a questioning look.

“so you think i’m perfect?” he smirks.

-

it’s the next day, almost midnight, and you really need spray paint. 

why? well, you’re stressed because you have so much to study for your finals and you don’t know where to start. yes, seonghwa helped yesterday, but he’s not in all your other classes, so you’ve decided you need a break from tearing your hair out over the material you can’t comprehend. the best way to distract yourself from that is to finally paint that dresser you got from a garage sale a few months ago, hence the spray paint. 

thankfully, san is still awake, and he has a car, so you ask him to pick you up for a quick run to the art supply store that’s surprisingly still open. a bonus of going to college in the city, you can get anything almost whenever you need it. 

“thanks for coming to get me,” you tell san as you hop into his car. 

“no problem,” he replies. “i was bored and hongjoong said he needed paint pens so this is a win-win situation. plus, i get to hear about your date with seonghwa yesterday.”

“it was not a date,” you groan, choosing to ignore the suggestive way san is looking at you right now. 

“but you spent the whole afternoon together,” san starts. “he bought you coffee and you went to the bakery together and talked about, like, your favorite colors and stuff. sounds like a date to me.”

“how do you know all that?”

“seonghwa told hongjoong and then hongjoong told me,” he explains as he turns onto the street that’ll take you to the art store. 

“well tell hongjoong that i’m still mad at him for ditching us,” you reply. “and i’m still kinda mad at you and the other two for bailing in the first place.”

“hey, if it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have had your first date with seonghwa,” san points out.

“it was not a date!” you cry. “we studied most of the time we were together, then he bought my coffee and bullied me into going to the bakery. i couldn’t stay long because i had a paper to write, so we talked about stupid shit until i had to leave.”

“it sounds like the beginning of true love to me,” san sing-songs. 

“stop the car, i’ve decided to walk.”

-

when you get to the store, san separates from you quickly because he sees his friend mingi behind the counter. they’re busy talking while you search the store for the paints, and you’re so busy looking up at the aisle names that you don’t notice you’re about to run into someone. 

“hey-” you start to complain, but you recognize the man you almost bumped into. “oh, seonghwa.”

“y/n,” he smiles at you. “what are you doing out so late?” 

“uh, distracting myself from how small my brain is,” you explain. “what are you doing here?”

“hongjoong needed paint pens,” he says, and you’re about two seconds away from finding san and slapping him. did they really plan this too? 

“why didn’t he come get them?” you ask as you remember what you’re here to find. your eyes scan the aisle behind seonghwa and you spot the paint cans at the end, but he’s in your way.

“i offered,” he says with a shrug.

“you must be a really good friend, then.”

“well you did call me perfect yesterday, so...” he trails off, smirking. you roll your eyes at him but can’t help the blush creeping up your neck. he interrupts his new favorite activity of staring deeply into your eyes (just to fluster you, of course) and he sees that you’re looking past him at the shelves of paint. “you need something down here?” 

“um, yeah, the spray paint,” you reply, awkwardly trying to skirt around him to get into the aisle. he steps aside to let you through, but still follows you as you search for the color you want.

“what are you making?” 

“i’m painting a scuffed up dresser i’ve had for a while, so i want something simple that’ll go with the rest of the things in my room,” you explain as you stop walking and crane your neck to scan the bottles on the top shelf. seonghwa stops behind you and places his hand on the small of your back as he reaches for a can just out of your reach.

“what about this one?” he offers, handing you a can of light blue paint. it’s really pretty, and it’ll stand out with the white furniture you already have, but you really like it.

“oh, that’s perfect!” you say as you take the can from his hands.

“there you go again,” seonghwa teases, and you shoot him a questioning look. he smiles as he responds. “calling me perfect?”

“i said the paint was perfect, weirdo,” you snap. “but thank you for finding this.”

“anytime,” he tells you. “you said your favorite color was blue right?”

“right...” you mumble, thinking back to the conversation you had at the bakery yesterday. “how’d you remember?”

“ugh, i’m hurt!” he exclaims, hand flying to his chest in mock surprise. “i can’t believe you already forgot that it’s my favorite color too.”

“hm, guess i was too distracted by how perfect you are,” you joke. seonghwa laughs at that, a sharp sound that seemed to catch him off guard. he covers his mouth to stifle the sound, but you’re close enough to the cash register now that it draws attention from san and mingi.

“find what you need?” san asks with a shit eating grin.

“hm, just about,” you say as you place the paint on the counter. “couldn’t find a hammer big enough to drop on your head, though.”

“wow, harsh,” san scoffs. “and to think i brought you here out of the goodness of my heart.”

you’re too busy half-bickering with san to notice that seonghwa has paid for your paint and the pens he promised hongjoong. he mumbles something to mingi, who then hands him a piece of paper. he scribbles his number down for you before handing you the can and his number. 

“i gotta go, but i’ll see you later for study group, right?” he confirms. you’re still processing the fact that he keeps buying things for you and you can’t respond in time, so san steps in.

“yeah, y/n will be there,” san assures seonghwa. he nods and shoots you one last smile before he excuses himself and leaves. you’re stuck with san and that stupid grin again. he looks at you and then checks the paper with seonghwa’s number on it. “yep, i think you got what you needed.”

-

even though seonghwa very willingly gave you his number, you’re still afraid to text him. it’s kind of hard to believe that he’s into you the way you’re into him, so you’re fine with just seeing him for study dates. or, uh, not study dates. study gatherings. with just the two of you. because the other guys have bailed, again.

this time, though, you’re not working on music theory. you have an assignemnt due for your ethics class, and you need family and friends to read about your results from this morals test. you wanted san to do it, but he’s currently “chasing a sweet piece of ass,” whatever that means. he’s probably bothering his lab partner that he claims descended from greek gods. you would usually tease him for saying something like that, but it’s a thought you’ve had about seonghwa, so you kept your mouth shut.

anyway, you know you need someone to answer these questions for you, but you can’t bring yourself to ask seonghwa. he kept up his “perfect” demeanor again today, showing up at the bookstore before you so he could get you the coffee you like. you would ask why he keeps doing things like this for you, remembering your favorite color and your coffee order, but you’re afraid he’ll stop if you bring it up. little do you know, every time he learns something new about you, he writes it down in his notes app, keeping a running tab of the things you like.

“y/n?” you hear him ask. his voice snaps you out of your thoughts and you realize you’ve been staring at him this whole time. the smirk you’ve become so familiar with makes another appearance as he gets ready to tease you. “something on your mind?”

“no, i...no,” you stutter. “i’m just thinking.”

“about what?” he questions as he lifts his coffee cup to his lips. you watch the way he slightly pouts them before taking a sip and you have to stop yourself from staring again.

“just this ethics assignment i want to finish,” you explain. “sorry, i didn’t realize i was staring at you.”

“must be an important assignment,” he nods, leaning forward to put his cup back on the table in front of you. you get another glimpse at the star tattoo on his neck as he does. “because i was definitely staring at you too, and you didn’t even notice.”

“oh?” 

“yep,” he confirms. “i was giving you my best puppy dog eyes and everything.”

“puppy dog eyes?” you ask, unsure of what’s coming. “do you need something?”

“eh, not really,” he shrugs. “i’m just worried.”

“why?”

“you never texted me the other night.”

“after the art store?” you ask incredulously. 

“isn’t that when i gave you my number?” he smirks. 

“i didn’t think you wanted me to text you immediately...”

“well, it’s been three days and i still don’t have your number,” he pouts. 

“hold on a second,” you mumble, reaching for your bag. you fumble around in there, searching for the piece of paper with seonghwa’s number on it as he watches you fondly.

“what are you doing?”

“looking for your number,” you reply like it’s obvious. seonghwa laughs a little and places his hand on your arm to stop you. 

“you do know i’m right next to you, and i could just put my number in myself?” he asks, eyes sparkling as he half-smiles at you. you blush, because no, you weren’t thinking about that. you sheepishly hand him your phone and watch as he adds his number and then texts himself. he gives your phone back and replaces it with his own before asking, “what’s your favorite emoji?”

“um, the smiling cowboy?” you offer, not sure why he’s asking. he laughs again, like he did in the art store, but this time it’s harder for him to quiet the breathy giggles coming from his chest.

“why that one?” he asks, typing something quickly.

“it’s funny,” you shrug. “why?”

“needed something cute to put next to your name, but you’re a weirdo, so it’s not as cute as i was imagining,” he explains, showing you the contact card in his phone. your number is saved as “y/n 🥰🤠” and you can’t help but laugh. you look up at seonghwa, warmth in your eyes, and he starts laughing too.

“see?” you giggle. “it is funny.”

“whatever, at least now i have your number.”

-

after exchanging numbers with seonghwa, you’re starting to let yourself believe little by little that he might feel the same way you do. it’s not anything serious, but there’s definitely something there. the texts he sends are always flirtatious, and it has your heart beating faster every time you get a notification, hoping that it’s him. you’re in the middle of studying for your spanish final when you feel your phone vibrate on the bed next to you, and you smile when you see who it’s from.

seonghwa 🥺💫, 6:28pm: are you busy rn?

you, 6:28pm: not really, just studying

seonghwa 🥺💫: can’t be studying too much if you replied that quickly 🥸

you: what do u want

seonghwa 🥺💫: be nice :-(

you: sorry

you: hi seonghwa, how are you? what do you want.

seonghwa 🥺💫: come get dinner with me? 

you: right now?

seonghwa 🥺💫: no, in 30 years. yes right now 

you: but i’m studying ://

seonghwa 🥺💫: liar!

you: fine, when and where?

seonghwa 🥺💫: i’ll pick you up in ten 🤠

- 

“you sure like staying close to campus, huh?” you ask seonghwa as he walks you about a block from your usual hangout and to a little hole in the wall restaurant that looks like it could seat maybe 20 people, uncomfortably. 

“i know what i like,” he responds with a shrug. “speaking of things i like, you look nice.”

“oh, thank you,” you semi-laugh. you’d been close to panic trying to figure out what to wear (because you’re not sure if this is a date) so you went with something simple, but you’re glad seonghwa likes it. not that you wanted to impress him. but you did, a little. anyway, he looks...well, perfect, wearing black ripped jeans and a velvet-y navy shirt. you continually have to stop yourself from reaching out and stroking his arm just to feel the soft fabric (and maybe his muscles). 

“so i take it you’ve never been here before?” he asks as he hands you a menu. you shake your head no in response. you can’t tell if he’s doing it intentionally, but seonghwa leans closer into your side as he explains. “you pick a main entree, but each dish comes with these sides. they say no substitutes, but i know the guy behind the counter so you can ask for more of something else if you don’t like one of them.”

“i might do that,” you say. “i don’t really want dumplings, so could i get extra sweet potatoes?”

“of course,” he nods, noting the way you smile slightly. it makes your eyes light up, and his heart does a little backflip knowing that he’s the reason for it. well, the sweet potatoes probably are, but he’s the one getting the sweet potatoes, so he’s taking that win for himself. once you both confirm what you want, he places his hand on your back and guides you to the counter.

“hey seonghwa!” the tall guy with a lopsided smile behind the register greets. “long time no see. who’s your friend?”

“hey yunho,” seonghwa smiles back. “this is y/n, a vip, so make sure you give us the good stuff.”

“extra sweet potatoes?” yunho laughs. you and seonghwa both nod as yunho continues taking your order, and you find yourself comfortably leaning into seonghwa as you wait for yunho to calculate the price. before seonghwa can even think about taking his wallet out, you’re handing yunho cash for the food, which makes seonghwa sputter.

“what? y/n, i was going to pay,” he whines, and you simply shake your head.

“nope, my turn,” you tell him. “you’ve bought me coffee too many times.”

“but i asked you out! i don’t want you to pay on our first date if i’m the one who brought you here,” he continues to complain.

“so this is a date?” you confirm, right as yunho asks suggestively “oh, this is a date?”

“yunho, give y/n’s money back,” seonghwa says, ignoring the two of you. “i’m paying.”

“yunho, if you give me that money i’ll be forced to leave and stand seonghwa up for our date,” you say, emphasizing the last word. now you’re glad you wore clean pants.

“seonghwa, why don’t you let y/n pay for this, and then you can get the next one?” yunho suggests, sending you a wink before he turns to the kitchen to share your order with the chef. you’re left with a flustered seonghwa, which is a sight you’re not used to, and it makes you laugh.

“c’mon,” you say as you pull on his arm. “let’s go find a table.”

you’re the only ones in the restaurant, so the food comes out pretty quick, and you have to stifle a laugh when you see that someone has arranged the sweet potatoes on a separate plate in the shape of a heart. seonghwa blushes at this, and you’re taken aback by how shy he’s suddenly become.

for some reason, seonghwa showing signs of nervousness puts you at ease, and you lead the conversation to something stupid san told you about the boys and their shenanigans at their dorm. the story has seonghwa laughing, and he confirms that yes, yeosang does have a sword by the tv, and yes, hongjoong did threaten to use it on him after he lost an intense match of fifa. 

“in hongjoong’s defense,” seonghwa begins, “i do think yeosang cheated. wooyoung was definitely helping him.”

“it still sounds ridiculous,” you tell him. “why does anybody need a sword?”

“yeosang is just...yeosang,” seonghwa replies. “he’s weird but he won’t admit that to anyone.”

“i’m just saying, if i went to someone’s house and there was a katana by the tv, i’d haul my ass outta there.” seonghwa giggles at how serious you look, but this conversation reminds him...

“you never showed me your room,” he says bluntly. you pause for a moment, spoon halfway to your mouth, and seonghwa realizes how that must sound. “i mean, the paint, your dresser. you never showed me a picture once you fixed it up.”

“oh,” you breathe out. “let me grab my phone, i can show you.”

“show him what?” a familiar voice suddenly asks from the seat next to you. when you notice that san, and some of your other friends, have snuck their way into the restaurant, you have to keep yourself from groaning.

“why are you here.”

“i’m hungry,” san replies, then turns to seonghwa. “you didn’t tell us you were getting dinner.”

“i didn’t want to,” seonghwa deadpans. “ i wanted it to be just me and y/n.”

“too late for that, pal,” honjoong says as he slides into the seat across from you. “hi y/n.”

“hey hongjoong,” you grumble. “please tell me you’re getting your food to go.”

“we were, but then we saw our good friends eating all by themselves and thought we should join them,” hongjoong teases. by now, the rest of the boys have sat down around you, some at other tables, and one of them you don’t recognize. that must be jongho, their younger “roommate” who technically lives in first year housing but doesn’t get along with the other guy in his room. you’ve heard seonghwa complain that jongho eats all of his snacks. 

“well, i hope you enjoy your food, but seonghwa and i were just about to leave,” you lie, looking at seonghwa with a stare that pleads ‘please go along with this.’

“where are you going?” wooyoung asks, one table over.

“my apartment,” you respond quickly, standing up as seonghwa follows your cue with a stupidly adorable look on his face.

“oh, perfect!” san chirps. “we’ll come with you!”

- 

so much for your date with seonghwa. it was hard to stop the boys from insisting they all join you at your apartment, especially after yunho said his shift was over and he could really use some destressing. and by destressing he meant booze, so you currently have 8 tipsy boys scattered across your living room. if you thought they were loud before...it’s amazing that your neighbors haven’t complained yet. 

it started off innocent enough, you were just playing card games at first and the loser of each round had to drink. then it turned into never have i ever, and each time you put a finger down you had to drink. then yeosang suggested shots, and it really went downhill from there. san tried convincing everyone to play a round of spin the bottle just for the chance of making you and seonghwa kiss, but mingi and wooyoung were the only ones down, so majority ruled there. 

“san, stop pouting,” you laugh, noticing that he’s upset over his evil plan not working out.

“it’s fine,” he lies, duck lips on full display. 

“spin the bottle is such a tween-y game too,” jongho pipes in. “and we’re adults, so it would be kinda stupid to play it anyway.”

“says the baby of the group,” yeosang scoffs. 

“what about truth or dare?” hongjoong suggests. “still immature, but we can make it fun.”

“yes!” san shouts, suddenly back in a positive mood. 

“i’ll start,” mingi volunteers. he takes a deep breath as he looks around the room, eyes narrowing when he looks at you and seonghwa. you’re currently smushed into your armchair together, not really by choice, because the couch is completely full and neither of you wanted to sit on the floor (you know how dirty it is, and seonghwa has a bad hip). thankfully, mingi has mercy on you and directs his gaze to his best friend. “yunho, truth or dare?”

“truth,” yunho slurs out. you’d say he’s the opposite of stressed by now.

“did you sleep with that girl you met at the party last week?”

“no,” yunho replies quickly, cheeks turning a knowing shade of red. “i just walked her home.”

“and went missing until the next morning?” yeosang asks. he gets a few snickers, and you laugh a little too because you remember san and wooyoung talking about their friend who disappeared for a few hours last weekend.

“whatever,” yunho groans. “yeosang. truth or dare.”

“dare,” yeosang chooses confidently. 

“kiss wooyoung on the cheek.”

“no,” he replies, just as confidently. 

“then take another shot,” yunho concedes, waving his hand at the stubborn boy. wooyoung mumbles something about how kissable he is as yeosang downs what looks like more than just a regular shot.

“this is boring,” jongho whines, which makes him the next target. he chooses dare, and you have to detach yourself from seonghwa so you can go into your kitchen and find the lemon juice in your fridge so jongho can chug what’s left. he’s sputtering after a few sips and gives up, grumbling up to you, “ i hate you for that.”

“hey, it wasn’t my dare,” you defend yourself. “you owe me lemon juice.”

“i’ll give it to you if you choose dare,” jongho challenges. you roll your eyes and take the bait, earning a round of ooo’s from the boys around you. 

“make her kiss seonghwa,” someone hisses.

“or me!” wooyoung chirps. jongho looks over at him with a death glare, and wooyoung shrugs. “i just want someone to want to kiss me.”

“i think you’re cut off,” hongjoong says as he leans across your coffee table to move the bottle away from wooyoung.

“everyone be quiet!” san shouts. “jongho has to give y/n a dare.”

“hmmm,” jongho starts, tapping his finger on his chin. “what should i do?”

“for someone who said this was boring, you’re really milking this,” seonghwa says under his breath. you’re perched on the arm of the chair, close enough to hear him, but thankfully no one else does.

“what’s that other childish game called?” jongho wonders aloud. “seven minutes in heaven? i think you should do that with seonghwa.”

“do i have to?” you pout, and your reluctance makes seonghwa stiffen. he thinks you said that because you’re uncomfortable, and not because you don’t want the boys pressing their ear up to the door while the two of you make out.

“rules are rules,” hongjoong concludes, nodding his head toward your room. “go have fun. i’ll keep the kids from bothering you.”

you look to seonghwa, who isn’t looking directly at you. you tentatively take his hand, giving it a squeeze before you stand up and lead him to your room. there are so many catcalls, whistles and cheers coming from your friends that you barely hear san say “take your time! it doesn’t have to be just seven minutes!”

once you get to your room, you let seonghwa go in first and then you lock the door behind you. he quirks an eyebrow at that, and you shrug shyly. 

“don’t want one of them bursting in,” you explain. seonghwa nods, and you both fall silent. it’s not necessarily awkward, just tense. you both want to do what seven minutes in heaven is meant for, but you’re not gonna make the first move and seonghwa still isn’t sure you even want to be in this situation. so he takes this time to turn around and take your room in, pointing to your dresser.

“is this it?” he asks. you hum out a yes in response, and he runs his hand over the freshly painted wood. “it looks nice. whoever picked out the color sure knows what he’s doing.”

“eh, he’s just lucky,” you joke, and you both laugh. you move to stand next to him and place your hand on top of his. “sorry we couldn’t finish our date.” 

“sorry my friends are so annoying,” seonghwa adds. 

“sorry san pushed me into your lap earlier,” you continue, and seonghwa smirks.

“well, i didn’t mind that,” he says. “i wanted you to sit with me, but i didn’t want to draw attention.”

“oh,” you squeak, feeling a blush on its way to your cheeks. a heavy silence falls over you, and seonghwa is the first to break it.

“listen, if you don’t want to kiss me, that’s cool,” he begins. “i kinda got the vibe earlier that you didn’t want to do this, and that’s cool. if you don’t want to do this we’re still cool.”

“you don’t sound very cool about it,” you chuckle, and seonghwa’s face flushes. “but i was only nervous because i didn’t know if you wanted to kiss me.”

“oh i want to kiss you,” he says firmly. “have for a while.”

“why don’t you do it then?” you challenge. seonghwa takes a step closer to you, and before you know it he’s pinned you against your dresser. you balance your hands on it and the cool wood helps you ground yourself as your body heats up from having seonghwa so close.

“are you sure?” he asks, only a few inches from your face. you nod and whisper out “i’m sure” and seonghwa quickly cups your face and smothers you in a kiss. it starts off slow, and your face warms at his touch. once you relax into it you move your lips against his, nipping at his bottom lip slightly and earning a groan from the man before you. you take the chance to slip your tongue past his lips as you bring your hands up to the nape of his neck, slowly brushing through his soft hair. his hands find their way to your waist, gripping tightly but not too hard, and he leans in to get as close to you as possible. you keep kissing for a few moments, but eventually you need to breathe so you lightly tap on his neck. he pulls back, breathing heavy, and his smile shines like the most beautiful stars in the sky. “so?”

“so?” you repeat, equally out of breath.

“that was nice.”

“it was.”

“the boys are gonna know we made out.”

“of course they are,” you laugh. “your lips look swollen.”

“so do yours,” he counters. 

“but wasn’t that the whole point of us coming in here?” you ask. your hands have fallen to his chest, and you finally get a chance to smooth out the soft velvet of his shirt. and you notice his chest is very, uh, firm, too.

“we didn’t have to kiss,” he says with a shrug. “we could’ve just talked.”

“about what?” you ask with a smile.

“my keen eye for interior design,” he replies. “how sexy you look in low lighting.”

“so you think i’m sexy?” you tease, and seonghwa rolls his eyes.

“i just had my tongue in your mouth, does that answer your question?”

another silence comes over you both, but this one is lighter than before. you’re subconsciously rubbing your hands over his shirt, and seonghwa brings a hand up to cover yours, stopping it right over his heart.

“we don’t have to tell them,” you offer. “i mean, they kept it a secret from us that they were trying to get us together this whole time.”

“oh no, i was fully aware of that,” seonghwa tells you, and you scoff. “do you think i really wanted to get out past midnight just to buy hongjoong some expensive markers? he never even paid me for them.”

“well now i really don’t want to tell them we kissed,” you whine. “how could everyone be in on this except me?”

“it was more fun that way,” seonghwa teases before pecking your lips. “but we can keep this between us, for now.”

“i think we should,” you say with a nod of finality. “it’s more fun that way.”

“c’mon, let’s go back out there before they send a search party.”

you return to the living room before seonghwa (so he can sneak into the bathroom and fix his hair) and you find most of the boys asleep on the floor. you sigh as your eyes meet hongjoong’s, and he shrugs.

“at least they didn’t bother you,” he says. 

“can you help me find pillows and blankets for them, please?” you ask, and he nods before jumping into action. he throws one of the couch pillows down to yeosang, who takes it and hugs it to his chest. you have a couple extras in your hall closet and you pass them to yunho, who’s sitting up when you come back. he places one under mingi and another under jongho and keeps the last one for himself. san and wooyoung are on the couch, and hongjoong tells you he’s fine with the armchair. seonghwa is out of the bathroom by now, and, like the perfect man he is, he’s carrying blankets in his arms. the three of you work on getting all the boys covered before you realize that seonghwa doesn’t have a place to sleep.

“i can take another spot on the floor,” he assures you. “do you have another pillow i can use?”

“let him sleep in your room, y/n,” san mumbles from underneath wooyoung. you pause and look at seonghwa, who’s looking back at you with something you can’t read in his eyes. 

“it’s not a bad idea,” hongjoong pipes in from somewhere within the blanket cocoon he made for himself. “he was just there. you can put him on the floor.”

“y/n?” seonghwa asks, pulling your attention back to him. “i don’t have to if you’re uncomfortable.” 

you would try to fight it, so you could hopefully ignore taunts from the boys in the morning, but you’re suddenly really tired and you just want to lay down.

“i’m ok with it if you are,” you yawn. “take the rest of those blankets, we can use those for your bed.”

“make good choices,” honjoong mumbles as seonghwa leads you back to your room, and you hear san going “oooooo” as you close your door a second time tonight. this time you don’t lock it though, and when you turn around you see the blankets on the floor and seonghwa sprawled out on your usual side of the bed, so you tell him.

“well why don’t you come join me then?” he teases with a grin. you blush and shake your head.

“scoot over.”

he does, but only by an inch. he still looks at you with that flirty glint in his eyes, and you can only shake your head again as you crawl into the tiny space next to him. he immediately wraps an arm around your waist and gives you a tight hug, placing a kiss on your shoulder.

“thank you,” he whispers into your back.

“for what?” you reply.

“for not putting me on the floor. and for liking me.”

-

you just woke up from maybe the best night of sleep you’ve ever had. seonghwa’s arms and legs are draped over yours, so you can’t get up without waking him, but having him so close is a welcome source of warmth. your apartment is quiet, and the sun is peacefully filtering into your room through your curtain. it’s the perfect moment, with your perfect boy, until- 

“i think they’re still asleep,” you hear someone whisper from the hallway.

“wooyoung, leave them alone!” another voice hisses. there’s silence for a moment, and then a smack, followed by someone jiggling the doorknob to your room. you quickly untangle yourself from seonghwa before you watch as the door cracks open a bit, revealing wooyoung in all his bed-headed glory. you close your eyes as much as you can while still peeking at who’s sneaking into your room, and you see jongho close behind him. he must’ve been the one who got smacked. or did the smacking. either way, they’re both staring at you and seonghwa in your bed, but you notice wooyoung smile and pause.

“i knew it! they definitely got together last night.”

“how do you know?” jongho asks. “maybe y/n let seonghwa sleep on the bed because of his old man hips.”

“whatever. they’re in the same bed, so that’s at least something,” wooyoung replies. “lame, but still something.”

“what did you expect?” jongho asks incredulously. “you thought we would catch them doing it?”

“i mean, not exactly, but couldn’t i get a little cuddling maybe?”

“you want me to cuddle you hyung?” jongho deadpans.

“yes, actually-”

“hey!” a third voice whisper shouts. you hear footsteps and then you see hongjoong pulling wooyoung out of your room by the neck of his shirt. “leave them alone. and you, jongho, i’m surprised you’re playing along with this.”

“well...” jongho mumbles.

“well what?” hongjoong asks, sounding like the mom-est mom to ever mom.

“they’re the only ones that know how to make breakfast.”

“both of you, out! now!” hongjoong semi-shouts, and you feel seonghwa stirring behind you. hongjoong doesn’t realize you’re both awake and closes the door as he leaves.

“what time is it?” seonghwa grumbles out, and your heart skips a beat hearing how deep his voice is when he wakes up.

“early,” you reply, turning around to be face to face with him. his arms slowly snake around you as you look up at him and share a sleepy smile. “how can you look this good when you first wake up?”

“weird, i wanted to ask you the same thing,” seonghwa replies, leaning in to kiss you but you touch your fingers to his lips and stop him, so he pouts. 

“uh uh, not until i brush my teeth,” you say as you try to get up, but seonghwa’s grip on your waist keeps you down.

“please,” he pouts again, sparkly eyes on full display as he pleads with you. it takes about half a second for you to cave and kiss him quickly, catching him off guard. he shifts to pull you on top of him and deepen the kiss, but he loses his grip on you and you’re able to slip out of bed before he can stop you. a noise comes from deep in his chest that almost sounds like a growl, and you shoot him a glare.

“hey, you got your kiss,” you warn. “now i’m going to make breakfast for the gremlins. do you want to help me?”

-

after the intrusion into your bedroom, wooyoung obviously told the boys what he saw. but, like jongho said, most of them thought it was just because of seonghwa’s hips that made you share a bed with him. there wasn’t enough evidence otherwise, and none of them really expected either of you to make a move despite their efforts. but they’re starting to get suspicious.

little do they know, after the set up fell into place, seonghwa wanted to take you on a real date. the only way to do that without your friends knowing was to sneak around without them, which was kind of fun. it was nice having this bubble with seonghwa, just the two of you, but it was getting harder to avoid your friends. seonghwa lived with them after all, so they pestered him about how often he was out and who he might be out with. 

“san keeps asking if you’re a good kisser. i told him i didn’t know, and then he asked if he could find out for me. should i be concerned about that?”

“we need to be more careful, yeosang said he saw us at the taco place yesterday, and he said we hold hands weird.”

“hongjoong has been saving seats for us at the bookstore, and each time we don’t show up i think he steals something from me.”

you have been ditching study group lately, but that’s more because you need to do some deep studying for your other finals and your friends are too much of a distraction. seonghwa can be distracting too, but at least he can take a hint and back down when you really need to focus. it’s been nice actually, just spending time in his presence. you were so nervous around him just a few weeks ago, and now you feel like you could trust him with just about anything.

today, you don’t get any personal study time, though. your music theory final is coming up and seonghwa wants you to get all the terms memorized before the review session in class tomorrow. he’s motivating you with a kiss for each right answer and the promise of him making dinner once you’re done. you’re currently cruising on five wrong in a row, and you’re getting frustrated. 

“c’mon y/n, you know this,” seonghwa encourages you, but you just whine in response. “we did this like four minutes ago, and i told you the answer so you could remember it.”

“yeah, well i obviously didn’t,” you snap, and seonghwa fakes being hurt. “sorry. can we skip this and come back to it?”

“sure,” he agrees quickly. “but first you need to write down the circle of fifths for me.” 

“i hate you.”

“hm, wrong answer,” he hums. “but kiss anyway. maybe that’ll keep you from getting so grumpy.”

“i am not grumpy,” you defend after kissing him gently. “i’m stressed.”

“you know what you need?”

“hm?”

“you need to go on another date,” he begins. “with me, obviously.”

“damn, i wanted to know if yunho was free,” you tease, and seonghwa doesn’t think it’s funny. “now who’s grumpy?”

“ignoring that,” he scoffs, but you can tell he’s trying not to smile. 

“when would we go? i’m really busy the next few days.”

“what about after class? we could both clean up and do something nice before we get some dinner?” seonghwa suggests. “why don’t we go to that art exhibit you told me about?”

“ugh,” you groan as you learn your head on his shoulder. “that sounds amazing, but we both said we’d be at study group tomorrow, remember? hongjoong practically begged me to be there, and i said i would ask you to come.”

“what about not letting them know we’re a thing?” he pouts. you don’t tell him about the youngest two that saw you all cuddled up, but instead you assure him that you inviting him to study group wouldn’t look unusual to the boys.

“plus, if we both cancel last minute, they’d know for sure we were up to something together,” you continue. “so yes, we need to go on another date, but just not tomorrow.”

“fine,” he mumbles. “now i am grumpy.”

“would something from the cafe make it better, my little boba ball?” you ask in a baby voice.

“ooh, actually, boba sounds good,” seonghwa smiles. “let’s go.”

-

the next day you get to the bookstore late because your professor gave a pop quiz at the end of class and you’ve been so busy studying music theory you forgot to study for anything else, so you needed all the time you could get. when you finally arrive, all of the boys are there, surprisingly. since you’ve never seen yunho, mingi and jongho here before you’re a little confused, but happy to see them nonetheless. 

as you walk up to the usual spot, you notice a coffee cup sitting in front of an empty chair, and you point to it as the boys greet you.

“is this for me?” you ask, placing your bag on the ground before grabbing the warm mug. “thank you, coffee angel.”

“you’re welcome, actual angel,” seonghwa replies, and you almost choke on your first sip. what is he doing?? you’re supposed to be sneaky sneaks and keep your relationship quiet, but here he is flirting with you in front of everyone!

except, that’s what he did before you started dating too, so it’s not out of the ordinary. in fact, no one pays any mind to it, so you’re left with a burnt tongue and blushy cheeks while seonghwa looks at you with a stare that only you would understand. you quickly shoot him a wink before you put your mug down and reach for your notes.

“um, hello? what are you guys doing?” you ask yeosang next to you, who’s rabidly tapping at his phone, just like everyone else. if they weren’t distracted they might have picked up on the vibes between you and seonghwa, but thankfully they’re the oblivious ones now.

“playing a game,” half of them respond, just as hongjoong says “writing lyrics” and jongho mumbles “texting my mom.”

“aren’t we supposed to study?” you ask. “or did you already learn everything in the world while i was gone?”

“well you’ve missed a lot of study sessions, y/n,” san begins. “so yes, we have learned everything. now we just come here to hang out.”

“so then why did you insist on me being here, joong?” you ask newly orange-haired hongjoong. it’s been a while since you’ve seen him, he must’ve dyed it recently. 

“we missed hanging out with you,” he says simply, eyes peeking up from his phone. your heart constricts at this, and you catch seonghwa’s eyes again. you might have to rethink the whole sneaking around thing if they really do miss you.

“yeah, we missed you AND we had to make sure you and seonghwa are still spending time together,” wooyoung adds, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“where have you been anyway?” yeosang asks. “you don’t have other friends.”

“yes i do,” you scoff.”

“give me names and numbers.”

“ignore him,” yunho tells you, and you nod.

“i always do. but i’ve been really stressed about finals, so i had to do some soul searching on my own to decide if i need to graduate or not.”

“seems fair,” mingi agrees. “i almost had to drop a class.”

“because he forgot he was even enrolled in it,” jongho clarifies, and you laugh.

“but seonghwa has been missing a lot lately too,” san starts. “i wonder what he’s been doing.”

“or who,” wooyoung snickers, and hongjoong reaches over mingi to slap him.

“i haven’t been feeling well,” seonghwa says with a shrug. “i’ve mostly been in my room, or at the pharmacy to get medicine.”

“oh, so you could’ve bought new paper towels for the dorm then, huh?” hongjoong asks, and as the two of them start to bicker, yeosang nudges your arm.

“i saw you two,” he says quietly. “at the mexican restaurant.”

“i know,” you whisper back. 

“so i know you’re dating.”

“are you gonna say anything?”

“hmmm, no,” he thinks. “but you have to buy my silence.”

“with coffee?” you offer, and yeosang smiles. he stands up and puts his phone away before speaking, looking directly at seonghwa.

“my best friend y/n is gonna buy me coffee, we’ll be back,” he says as he loops his arm around your shoulders. seonghwa watches as you walk away (and stares at your ass) but he’s mostly thinking about how he’s a little jealous right now. like, he knows you wouldn’t do anything, he trusts you, but he doesn’t want his friends thinking you have a thing for anyone but him. so while you’re gone, he talks.

“i haven’t been sick,” he admits. “i’ve been seeing y/n.”

“we all knew, dude,” hongjoong says casually, and everyone agrees.

“then why didn’t you say anything?!”

“because YOU weren’t saying anything,” jongho replies.

“yeah, we figured that we did enough trying to get the two of you together, so if you didn’t end up dating then that was your fault. we were just waiting on you to make a move,” san explains. 

“then why did you let us lie to you like that?”

“it was fun,” wooyoung shrugs. “by the way, did y/n let you sleep in the bed because of your hips, or because you wanted to cuddle?”

the red tint on seonghwa’s cheeks gives him away, and the boys start laughing and ooo’ing so loud he’s afraid you’ll hear it over by the coffee counter.

“ok, ok, just. keep this quiet for now,” he says. “y/n may still want this to be private.”

“but you just told us about it,” yunho says. “why would you do that if you knew y/n wouldn’t want you to?”

“well,” seonghwa begins. “i need your help with a date.”

-

seemingly by an act of god, you have time this weekend to go on a date with seonghwa. little did you know, he’s the reason your plans suddenly freed up. san said you could critique him and wooyoung for their dance final another day, hongjoong said he would send you his music theory notes from the review and save you hours of studying and then yeosang found the exact spanish book you needed to finish your performance final ahead of time. it was the perfect circumstances, orchestrated by your perfect boy and his perfect-adjacent friends, who all agreed to help him with this (hopefully) perfect date. 

it starts with seonghwa picking you up from your apartment, coffee in hand. 

“you’re the man of my dreams, you know that?” you say in passing as you grab the warm to-go cup. even if you were only saying it lightly, it made seonghwa’s heart soar. you notice he hasn’t said anything to you, so you meet his eyes to find them full of stars like always, but this time there’s something scheme-y in there. he’s up to something.

“are you ready for the best date of your life?” he asks with a smile that puts the stars in his eyes to shame.

“yes, i think,” you respond, grabbing your keys and locking your door. “but i don’t know what we’re doing.”

“and it will stay that way until we get there,” seonghwa says firmly as he laces his hand into yours. you squeeze his hand and sigh.

“i guess i just have to trust you then.”

“but that won’t be hard right?”

“wait, didn’t you say something earlier about going to that art exhibit? is that it?” you question, even though you know he won’t budge. seonghwa just shakes his head no and punches the button for the elevator. a moment of silence passes before you guess again. “a movie? you rented out a movie theater, like you said you wanted to?”

“i tried, but it was expensive,” he admits and you have to laugh. “funds are tight right now.”

“i watched you buy a couple hundred dollars worth of legos the other day babe. maybe that’s why the date fund is lacking.”

“you’re not coming between me and my collectables, y/n,” seonghwa scolds. the elevator pings to open to the parking garage under your building, and you’re confused for a moment before he explains. “i want this to be a nice date, so yunho let me borrow his car. it would be no fun if we show up all sweaty because we were walking.”

yunho’s car, which is actually pretty nice thanks to all the tips he gets from flirting with clientele, is parked by the elevator. seonghwa leads you to your door and opens it for you, revealing a basket of flowers and candies in the seat. you coo as you pick it up, and seonghwa looks on proudly. you lean over to give him a kiss, and you whisper your thanks as you pull away.

“that was mingi’s idea,” seonghwa tells you, smiling brightly “i got all your favorites.”

“i see that.”

“but look around the flowers,” he guides you. “there’s something else.”

you hold the basket up to eye level, noticing the silver sparkle around the stems of the flowers. is it glitter? you tug at a flower and realize it’s a chain, and attached is a hand drawn star charm to match the tattoo on the back of seonghwa’s neck. 

“seonghwa, this is beautiful,” you say breathlessly. “we’re gonna match! that’s so cute. who’s idea was this?”

“would you believe me if i said it was mine?”

“no.”

“that’s what jongho said too,” seonghwa laughs. “it was his idea.”

“tell him thank you,” you say as you play with the charm. “mingi and yunho too. it’s a good date so far.”

“oh baby, it hasn’t officially started yet.”

-

in the car, seonghwa plays a mix of songs that he really likes, and he’s mixed in some of your favorites too. he has to keep convincing you that the songs aren’t clues, because you ask every time a new song plays.

“so are the songs just distractions?” you ask, finally giving up on getting any information out of him. 

“why do you ask that?” he smirks as he turns down a familiar road.

“because i can tell you just took the long way to the record store,” you explain. “are you stalling?”

“me, what? why?” his response does nothing to manage your suspicions, and suddenly you remember how your friends have helped with the date so far. are they all in on this? you need answers.

“seonghwa, i swear to god, if san or wooyoung jumps out to surprise me wherever we’re going-”

“that won’t happen,” seonghwa laughs while he parks the car. “we’re here anyway, and i promise this is the last surprise of the night.”

“the record store?” you question, looking up at the shop you’ve been to countless times to shop and to bother hongjoong while he works. 

“yeah, you said there was a new album out you wanted to get, right?”

“yeah,” you blush. “but i just said that in passing, i didn’t expect you to remember.”

“y/n, i want to know everything about you,” seonghwa says seriously. “so of course i remembered. wait, don’t get out yet. i’ll open the door for you.”

as seonghwa helps you out of the car, you quiz him on the other things you’ve said around him that you didn’t think he remembered. sadly, he does remember you saying your favorite disney movie is ratatouille and you’ve always wanted to try the mushroom/cheese concoction remy makes in the first scene.

“that’s a little embarrassing,” you sigh as you reach for the door. you’re going to complain some more about how seonghwa doesn’t need to remember everything about you, but the sight in front of you makes you stop mid-breath.

the record store has been decorated from floor to ceiling in fairy lights, and there’s more flowers all over the place. as you look around, you notice the flowers are tucked in the shelves next to your favorite artists. next to the door is the album you were talking about, and a little further down you see your favorite album of all time with a few extra flowers next to it. you’re still taking everything in when you notice hongjoong behind the counter.

“did you help him with this?” you ask breathlessly, and hongjoong nods. 

“yeah, but the flowers next to the albums was my idea,” hongjoong explains. “we’re running a new special called “y’n’s favorites” so everything that’s marked with a flower is yours, if you want it. everything is on the house.” 

“i...i don’t know what to say,” you start. you turn to seonghwa and there are those starry eyes that you love to see. you reach out to cup his face and smile. “thank you. this is...perfect.”

“it’s even more perfect now that i’m here!” wooyoung shouts from the front door of the shop, followed by san and yeosang. you look at seonghwa and all he does is laugh.

“what? at least he didn’t jump out and scare you,” seonghwa teases.

“oh, i would never,” wooyoung nods with a half-serious look on his face. “but i definitely wouldn’t do that when i have your dinner in my hands, i can’t let all this hard work spill.”

“especially not on my clean floor,” hongjoong warns. 

“you made dinner for us?” you ask wooyoung, but you’re looking at seonghwa, who simply shrugs.

“yep, i made one of your favorites and then threw in a couple recipes i thought you’d both like,” wooyoung says as he and the two other boys place food down on the counter by the register.

“and what did you two help with?” you ask san and yeosang.

“who do you think made this place so beautiful?” yeosang asks incredulously.

“yeosang did the lights and i bought all the flowers,” san explains with a smile that makes his eyes turn into happy half moons. “you’d be surprised how many places i had to go to get all your favorites.”

“i really don’t know what to say,” you whisper in disbelief. “i can’t believe you all did this for me.”

“it was all seonghwa’s idea,” san tells you. “we did it for both of you.”

“yeah, we’re just his little minions,” yeosang jokes, and wooyoung giggles. 

“you tell me how that food tastes, got it?” he asks as he backs out of the store. “don’t say anything mean though. i only accept compliments.”

“wooyoung,” seonghwa smiles tightly. “please leave.”

wooyoung holds the door open for san and yeosang as he gives seonghwa a thumbs up. san waves goodbye sweetly and yeosang gives you a knowing smile before the door closes behind them.

“well, i think that’s my cue to go,” hongjoong says, handing the keys to seonghwa. “don’t make a mess. if i get fired, i’m selling all the stuff i stole from you when you were sneaking around with y/n and not telling us about it.”

“i’ll keep him under control,” you assure hongjoong, who nods as heads to the door. you don’t see him leave because seonghwa has stepped in front of you, and he places his hands on your waist to pull you closer.

“so,” he begins.

“so.”

“what do you want to listen to while we eat?” he asks, pulling you by the waist over to a row of records. you stand there quietly, looking over the albums hongjoong pulled to the front for you, and you just can’t believe how much work went into this date. you can’t believe how sweet it is that each of your friends helped, and you put your hand on seonghwa’s and give it a squeeze.

“hwa,” you whisper. he hums in response, but you place your hand on his cheek and guide his gaze to yours.

“thank you,” you tell him. “thank you for this.”

he smiles at you with a look in his eyes that can’t be anything else but love, and you smile back with that much love, if not more, in your own face. you use the hand on seonghwa’s chin to guide his lips to yours, and you lose yourself in the kiss, in seonghwa, for who knows how long.

“mm, y/n,” he mumbles against your lips before detaching. “the food will get cold.”

“you’re right,” you sigh. “but we didn’t pick any music.”

“how about this?” he asks, pulling an album out from the top shelf. you smile at the cover, knowing exactly what song seonghwa wants you to hear. 

“perfect,” you agree. “i’ll put it on while you get the food?”

and that’s how you end up eating the perfect meal, on your perfect date, with all of your favorite things around you, sitting right next to your perfect boy.