#it was inspired after hearing the song they're only human

[queenendless]

CRIMSON

A/n: I legit don't know how to title this piece. Inspired by @xo-romiiarts and their artwork.

Also Guns for Hire by Woodkid fits this piece so listen to it while reading this or any song that gives dark!GoGe vibes.

CW ⚠️ : 4.7k worded piece with DARK MATURE themes/depictions of murder/genocide, teen dropouts/runaways, angst, hurt/comfort, romance/fluff, already established poly!teen!GoGe x fem!teen!curse seer!reader, set in an AU where the guys did go through with it ... you have been warned. ⚠️

Cause #261 and fanarts of Gojo saying yes to Geto have given me the push to finally get this out. I have been working on this since September of LAST YEAR SO I hope yall enjoy this.

And I'm working on a pt 2 to this set a few months to a year later of the aftermath. Cause Lord, Clan Head Gojo x Cult Leader Geto x Reader but they're dark now kinda I wanna explore in my own way. With them kids. Their kids. And scene.

*DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, COPY, EDIT, PLAGARIZE, AND OR STEAL MY FANFIC WORK. Rather if you enjoy my fan work, then reblog, like, comment, n follow pls n thnx u.

"You're late, Suguru."

Indeed he was.

"No … I guess you got here fast. There are several Star Religious Group facilities in the city, after all."

Something felt seriously off the moment the snowy-haired sorcerer raised his head.

"Satoru? Is that you?"

The look in his eyes … practically radiating their potent rebirth … a stark contrast to the fading scuffs of blood running down the left half of his face, down both sides of his mouth, weariness evident.

"What happened?"

This was not his Satoru. This one … had seen hell first hand. In a twisted way, they both have today. Literally at death's door.

"I see you already saw Shoko."

"Yeah, she healed me. I'm fine now."

And yet, a long sleeved uniform arm slipped out from under the sheet, swaying a bit til staying still as a lifeless corpse would be.

"No … me being safe doesn't help anything here."

Not when he failed to keep their promise to Riko-chan. She was ready to walk away from the merger with him. Choosing to live for herself rather than follow her pre-chosen fate. Yet, fate had other plans. A cruel one, at that.

"I screwed up. You're not at fault." Gojo sounded so blunt, so calm … willing to accept all the blame for their greatest failure yet.

"Let's head back."

An eerie ringing began penetrating Geto's hearing as the clapping kept going. He chalked that up as an explanation as to why he thought he misheard Gojo's next words.

"Suguru, should we kill these guys? The way I feel right now, I doubt I'd feel anything about it."

As the form of Gojo carrying Amanai's draped body was being overshadowed by the pure white radiance of the smiling clapping cultists, Geto's morality dilemma prodded his mind, unable to meet Gojo's gaze.

"No. There's no point. It looks like there are only common believers here. The masterminds who know about our world have probably fled already. And unlike with the bounty, they won't be able to talk their way out of this. The organization had problems to begin with. It'll be dissolved soon enough."

Geto, standing in the pure white room of morality, starkly contrasted Gojo as he brushed past him and stood in the crimson room of immorality.

"No point, huh? Does there really need to be any point to it?"

Does there need to be a rhyme or reason for them to act on this? Ideally yes. They may be above the laws in most cases, but even sorcerers can't enact vengeance on regular humans. Unless they were curse users or even like the Sorcerer Killer, they couldn't lay a hand on them.

Realistically?

Right now?

The clapping grew louder, mocking him. Antagonizing him.

Gleefully celebrating her death and their own damaged, traumatizing failure.

Geto's left hand curled into a fist.

His morals were conflicting with his personal feelings; his fist shaking in restrained emotion.

His almond eyes, weariness tainting his eyebags, finally looked up.

Out at the clapping, smiling crowd.

"It's very important that there is. Especially for a jujutsu sorcerer."

Even the cruelest scum of the Earth get away scot free, never facing retribution. Darkness grew underneath him, outstretched to reach their seemingly untouchable light, as his fractured moral code made way for his true inner self to finally show its true colors.

"But not us …"

Gojo stiffened. Slightly looking back over his shoulder, peering inside the open doorway, his radiating Six Eyes turned on at the darkened gaze of Geto's eyes slightly looking back in return.

"Not today."

Rage and distraught guides him.

He would right this wrong.

To the bloody damn end.

Now triggered by those firm, final words, Gojo's heightened state strengthened as he set Amanai's body down gently on the hallway floor, the anger he didn't feel on her behalf in his rematch against the fallen Zen'in man was finally making its appearance, intertwining with an unhinged drive for chaos in his blood as a twisted gleam overtook his lips.

Survival of the weakest. Discouragement of the strong. That's how society should be; one where jujutsu sorcerers protect non-sorcerers. That's what he always strived to uphold despite his inner demons. But now… they as sorcerers still failed in the end.

Riko-chan, Kuroi-san, the weak but good ones, now dead by the orchestration of these unforgivable heinous —

"Monkeys." Having seen that monkey assassin's standing corpse himself on his way inside; decimated and dripping with bloodied spilled guts, made Geto wish he could deal the killing blow himself back in Tengen's domain.

This would have to do, feeling ready to puke when he uttered the same word as that scarred mouthed bastard, wincing as the shadowed hole he summoned released his newest curse.

The same cursed worm draped over his shoulder, opening its mouth to pop out the handle of a cursed tool, one Geto pulled out as swiftly as Gojo began ascending to heights unbound, slicing the cursed energized blade through the air as tears sprung from his unforgiving dark eyes.

"DIE!"

Those monkeys' glee changed to confusion then bursting out in waves of panic as the blade grew in length the more Geto spread his cursed energy into it.

Several heads got sliced sideways, splattering blood over some's prime white apparel, kicking off the shrill hysterics.

In an instant, Gojo blips out of sight only to plow through a row of them scurrying ants in his way like the cursed speedster he had become.

Blown off head chunks.

Fists jutted right through their torsos right and outta their spines.

Setting off carnage filled piñatas left and right.

Trained on every weakling in his sight, Gojo's uniform grew darker as more blood seeped further in with each blow.

Reappearing as he grabbed a randomly chosen neck, snapping it in two with ease, before blocking a panicking one that tried socking him from behind, glowing eyes narrowed in as he clenched their fist before ripping their arm right off with swift ease. Their tortured screech is heard one moment, the sound of bones crunching in Gojo's other hand the next.

Through hatred fueled adrenaline, Geto cleaved in them guts to match the mutilated limbs that rolled across the crimson spreaded floor.

Those attempting to flee were squandered as the force field of Limitless smooshed them, splattering the now cracked dented walls; minced red.

Many more sunken noggins soared in the air, sprinkling red from on high.

Screams and splatters became the symphony of Pandemonium.

Flinging the chain around the neck of one, Geto swung them like a chain and ball, crushing many others against the walls.

Those petrified hideous faces get their brains ruptured out; globby chunks vomiting out by mere cursed thought.

Many rammed right into the glass window ceiling, sending cracks racing in its wake, the pure white sunlight becoming a neon red.

Shards of glass rained down, deflected by Limitless as the pair found themselves back to back, watching with callousness as many were skewered like porcupines.

Limbless lumps of lifeless flesh plastered every inch of the once pristine interior from every wall, crevice, and even the ceiling had scarlet drenching it.

Their haggard breaths and sweaty burning faces aside, their dark craving for retribution still lingered in them both.

It wouldn't be enough.

Not until every last member was eviscerated.

Dismissing the worm, Geto scanned the room, trembling at the grotesque aftermath.

His cerise painted hands hung limply at his sides.

Amiss the madness, their residuals were there.

Fortunately they knew to an extent how to hide them. However long those held out, they couldn't waste a moment. Any longer than that spent here meant capture followed by immediate execution.

Feeling himself moving by a firm grasp tugging on his hand, his light headed state transitioned to a frigged one over what they had just committed. The solid squeeze of Gojo's sizzling hand helped pull him further out of his own unsteady mindset.

"Satoru …" He internally felt revolted at having those monkeys wretched blood covering his skin.

"Suguru."

Through the path of red, his closest friend – his ally in genocide – turned to him with cherry-red streaking his unbuttoned jacket and the collared white undershirt, for his glowing – exhausted – eyes were scarred with the brutal truth. Reaching his stained, steadfast hands out for that stained lost face, Gojo rested his forehead against Geto’s, staring into those stricken eyes of one of his most greatest treasures.

"Come with me. Let's get away.”

Blood trickled down from the ceiling, spilling along their hair, staining their faces, but both couldn't care less as they sealed it with a kiss. Lost in the bloody euphoria, relishing in one another's warmth.

The new taste of searing iron overtook the repelling flavor of cursed spirits, overwhelming the pair as Geto clawed at Gojo's back and the latter's hands massaged the former's supple cheeks, bringing muffled moans outta them both.

It feels right … anywhere … as long as it's with each other. It's just right.

Wherever they end up, whatever it may be, may it be nowhere near here whenever whichever sorcerers would be sent to investigate this now scene of massacre.

Once partners in sorcery.

Now partners in crime.

What a send off for them, the newly dropouts.

The clapping halted.

The ringing faded.

Their hearts felt lighter.

But something still felt off.

Someone was missing.

"Y/n." Geto's eyes opened to stare into Gojo's as they parted lips. "We can't leave her behind … we can't …"

Knowing their cursed seer partner probably foresaw the bloody chain of events that had recently just transpired in the last few hours. But knowing how abrupt they can be, maintaining and willing them into your mind’s eye was still a burdening struggle, ergo you being left behind at school for tiring training.

The heavy fog of bloodlust and tension between them lifted for now Geto's eyes lightened at sensing that familiar presence. He knew Gojo sensed it as well, for his glowing eyes followed his lead, taking Riko back in his arms, the duo raced to the surface outside.

You had ran outta the car that dropped you off down the street. You gulped to stifle back the bile at the gory sight of the fallen Zen’in still standing; the bloody puddle reaching for you now.

Your gaze averted once you spotted them coming out, hurrying over, your stomach churning at how scrapped up and red they appeared, but your empathy outweighed the disgust as Geto caught you in his heavy weighted grasp.

The fear in Geto's eyes mingled with confusion and concern. "Y/n … I … we –!”

Gojo’s eyes slanted as you kept your face hidden. "Did you get a vision?”

Your shaky nod against Geto’s chest paired with your ashamed tone. “I was too late … I,” An anxious pause of silence stretched between you three. “Shoko told me where you were headed after healing you … then came another one … of course you two would get Riko’s body back …”

They waited for the heart shattering blow. The final nail in the coffin. You shunning them away, cutting ties immediately. Rejecting them for their heinous act. Fleeing away in horror to Jujutsu High, reporting their sorry asses and ousting them as traitors. All the above — !

“The system would have let these zealots slip through the cracks. They … their assassin … they all deserve to rot in hell for what they've done … all because of Tengen … Kuroi and Amanai have been avenged.” Your callous tone kinda threw them off a tad bit.

Geto gulped. “You … You're okay with it?”

Your head finally rose up, the glossy layer to those e/c eyes sparkled from the sliver of sunset. "I know I can't make up for letting you all down … and no amount of apologies can redeem my blunder … but I can do this at least. I'll bring her back to the school, back to Kuroi-san. They deserve to be laid to rest together.”

You reluctantly pull away from Geto’s warmth; uncaring about the red stains smearing your clothes now, to take the wrapped up body as Gojo gently passes her into your arms, melancholy heavy on your face but the strength of resolve aiding you in carrying her. “My place is with you two. Always. Now more than ever.”

Geto’s eyes pricked with burning warmth; your willingness to stay despite everything, as he kissed your temple. “We should be apologizing to you.”

“There's still more of those facilities in the city left standing. We're not finished just yet.” Gojo's voice spoke doom for their upcoming targets, a stark contrast to his own kiss to your forehead being so sweet.

“They all need to go. Every single one of them.” Geto clenched his veiny hands, determined to see this through to the end. “We will return for you. If you wouldn't mind packing our things for us by the time we show up …”

You nodded, sadly smiling. "Don't keep me waiting too long.”

Their brisk nods to you paired with smooches to your cheeks were all you were given before you watched them holding hands then warping away.

The driver stayed silent as they drove your contemplative self, keeping her cold self close to your warmth, back to school for the last time.

°•○•°•○•°°•○•°•○•°°•○•°•○•°°•○•°•○•°°•○•

The sun had set.

Crimson painted the sky.

A young girl's life ended by a gunshot to the head.

Two young teens, forced to face the cruel reality of their lives through near death.

The Star Religious Group Headquarters.

House of the Children of the Star.

Their monotheistic religion spent worshiping their absolute God; Tengen.

Crossing the wrong sorcerers, nearly costing them their lives in the process at the hands of their hired assassin; the Zen'in clan failure.

Their facilities left as ruins scattered in ruble, collapsed craters layering the grounds, red painting the toppled stone and marble.

The trauma of near death, failing to keep their promises to protect their friends' lives, and losing to a physically gifted human … their pride as the strongest duo now tarnished.

Retribution.

Selfish desires made to fruition.

With Riko-chan now gone, the assimilation was now void.

Tengen-sama had evolved.

The barrier hiding the school's location was weakened and easily spotted by the Six Eyes.

You solo carried Riko to the morgue, spotting your senpai and fellow kouhai watching you from the distance, ignoring your driver hurriedly running to inform Yaga-sensei of the turn of events, but only making eye contact with Shoko as she was standing out front by the entrance, already expecting you, prepared for the worst.

You two stayed silent, understanding exactly just from seeing the acceptance in your gaze.

Seeing the covered bodies laying side by side on the tables, you prayed over the mother daughter pair, believing the guys would stop by to do the same, hopefully.

As you just finished zipping up one of three duffle bags meant for each of you in your room, you felt the ripples through the Force that is cursed energy.

The fuse was lit. The air pricked with sparks as those two set off a chain reaction.

You could visualize the facilities up in flames.

“You really are idiots.” Shoko leaned against the open doorway, smoke in her disapproving frown. “To think they'd go this far … and you're bailing with them.”

“My whole world ended when I lost my mom. My dad was a broke ass deadbeat. Then I was discovered, brought here and met you all. You became the family I needed … so I thought that was enough. But those two … they're my everything. We ride or die together. You can join us or stay here. That goes for you two as well, ya know.”

You felt Haibara and Nanami hiding behind the wall before joining Shoko in the sliding doorway. By the looks on their faces, the news spread like wildfire.

“If I go with you guys, then the higher ups will force my sister to take my place.” Haibara frowned at the guilty truth.

“Rules and regulations keep us in line, as much as they suck.” Nanami sulked.

“Those old cods view us all as disposable tools. We're not heroes. We have our own ideals, desires, lives even. And if it means I may die down the line because I choose to walk away, then I'd rather die with freedom than serve them as their obedient lapdog.” You spoke devotedly.

“I don't get it.” The blunt tone and her aversion to eye contact made you realize how left out Shoko still felt that her two crazy guy friends were willing to leave them – leave her – behind.

“It'd be nice to have you by our side Ieiri … but I know you still have Utahime to consider.” You grinned at seeing the tiny pink tinted rise to her cheeks.

“You're our classmates! To have you and our senpai be branded as curse users, I don't want to have to fight you guys!” Haibara's angry tears made your heart waver. Your own eyes burned with cursed energy.

The static film reel of seeing your guys getting savagely brutalized, Riko and Kuroi's murders, even further down the line … glimpsing Haibara scarred and pale and so damn still —

“You're still our friends. Always.”

Even with glistening chibi eyes and stubbornly pursed lips, Haibara realized you had made up your mind, reaching Nanami's hand to squeeze and be his anchor.

“It's not a crime to be a kid, but the accumulation of life's little despairs make you become an adult. Remember that.” Nanami understood that much, knowing the guys are capable of setting the world on fire when pushed too far. Like so.

Blinking back tears yourself, you nodded. “If you ever need us or change your mind, you know how to reach us.”

Throwing the duffle bags outta the window before jumping out yourself took them all by surprise. Jutting their heads out, they were relieved yet anxious spotting Geto's manta ray cursed spirit flying away, the bags and you safe across his lap and wrapped up in his arms.

His crestfallen gaze back at them was the last sight of him they received when they also spotted Gojo floating on high, gazing at them with melancholy, the living example of Nanami's parting words to you.

Knowing deep in your intuition they snuck into the morgue to pay their final respects to Riko and Kuroi before retrieving you, you kept quiet about it, trusting them wholly to catch you as well.

On that day, everything changed.

On that night, there was no turning back.

But to both yours and Geto's surprise, the boldness of Gojo as he landed right by you both on the manta ray and grasped Geto's shoulder, his suggestion for a hideaway took your breaths away.

The empty private home – one of quite many – belonging to his family's clan; this one gifted solely to him. Even as fugitives, making such a bold choice to hide there, Gojo sure is a wild child.

Wading in the waters of the giant tub to wash away the blood, flushing the pink tinted liquid down the drain, then filling up the tub once more made way for some scented oil that helped elevate the tranquil vibes.

“You're certain?” Geto scrubbed his shoulder length sudsy hair, brushing his wet locks.

“The clan has too many spots all over Japan. We crash here tonight, take what we can to sell for cash in case the geezers fry our bank accounts, then high tail someplace new. Like say, I don't know, overseas?” Gojo's lax assurance transformed him into a chibi in Geto's point of view; resting his head and arms back against the tub's rim.

Almond eyes darkened, catching the scar stretching from Gojo's lithe neck, across that toned chest, and stopping by his hip poking out of the bubbly water.

Exhaustion smeared with piqued intrigue and guilt in those blue eyes spotting the X shaped scar on Geto's sculpted chest.

Red tints colored their faces as pleased sighs left their lips at the warm water loosening up their stiff muscles, fingers weaving through each other's slick hair, bringing their faces closer, brown meeting blue as they stared longingly at each other.

The unique connection ergo magnetic attraction was evident. From clashing freshmen to still bickering but budding sophomores. And now, as fresh genocidal dropouts, they both looked like they aged a lot.

The contrasts, the similarities, their yin yang dynamic.

That and the fuzzy warmth was getting to them.

“I'm really glad you're alive.” Geto nuzzled his nose against Gojo's.

“RCT for the win.” That albino pecked the corner mouth of his raven.

Their tired giggles relieved the tension.

Brushing their bare dripping shoulders together, lips connected, initiating timid soft touches. Drool connected their heated tongues, their heated breath fanning one another's face, oh so close, wanting more.

Your hums of content grabbed their attention as you waded over to them, watching your round cheeks blowing soapy bubbles into their faces.

Running your hands down their scars made your lips tremble at the agony they went through. Entrapped in their arms, you hummed as their lithe hands caressed your supple smooth skin for they were touched by your gingerly layered kisses along their tender marked flesh.

Toru's yawning broke out, worrying you and Sugu who suggested you all start drying up. Toru was the most exhausted being actively awake using Six Eyes for 3 days straight.

But you all were, mentally and emotionally.

The electric dryer rumbled as your wet uniforms swirled within. The AC hummed in the backdrop.

Duffle bags left open as you three laid in the enormous bed, you three snuggled in close on the center.

Setting up a small simple altar in honor of Riko and Kuroi in the room gave you all some peace of mind, especially when burning some smoky incense to cleanse the place. To pray and hope that their souls were in a better place than the hell they're stuck on called Earth.

“I detest humanity. Swallowing cursed spirits made from the worst parts of their very existence for so long confirms that. Killing those cultists put my mind at ease … as horrible as that must be to you.” Suguru's weary gaze shifted to meet Satoru's now unsettlingly calm ones as they laid atop the bed beside each other, clad in just boxers, with you splayed across Satoru wearing just a large tee you all shared just cause.

“You've been feeling this way for a long time, then.” Suguru flushed as Satoru weaved his hand through those silky obsidian strands, free from the metaphorical shackles of his usual restrained bun. “I'm sorry I didn't realize it.”

Suguru's cheek nuzzled his wrist, breathing in Satoru’s cozy scent. “I never wanted you to. Or anyone for that matter. These are my own feelings to grapple with.”

Satoru's messy cat hair shook, tickling Suguru's face, closing his stinging eyes to let them rest for the moment as their foreheads touched. “Well, now, we'll carry that burden together.”

“We're branded as curse users now … we're on our own from here … and you're fine with that?” Sugu was skeptical for the most part.

“I never held hatred for anybody before … not even over Amanai's death … but I always knew my life would be spent as a living weapon for jujutsu society … a monster. And now that I've crossed the line … there's no coming back from that … but I'd do it all again …if it mended the pain you felt inside. I just … I don't want you suffering in silence anymore. I never want to leave you behind.” That soothing voice of his cracked.

Suguru was breathless seeing red in those reopened agonized eyes.

“Still … I took advantage of your heightened state and let my emotions cloud my judgment. I'm supposed to be the moral compass … yet I'm no better than those monkeys … and you nearly died because of them … I'm sorry Satoru … I'm so sorry.” Water hit Toru’s skin as the choked up weeping of his best friend smothered his shoulder.

“Hey, hey. I'm here, aren't I?” Keeping an arm wrapped around his partner, Satoru smooched the crown of Suguru's precious noggin, being tickled by those loose bangs in the face, shushing him and kissing that pierced ear of his. “And even you need to cut yourself some slack and lean on others too, ya know. And realize … you can't get rid of me that easily. You're stuck with this monster for a long time, Suguru~”

That possessive, enamored voice compelled Suguru to peak out and witness those lovesick eyes; the polar opposite to the tunnel vision of the reawakened Satoru Gojo that approached him with Riko-chan in his arms, struck right at his core.

The soft warm lamp on the side table paired with the sliver of moonlight between the curtains transformed their eyes into mini galaxies. Their own universe even to dwell in and share together.

“Hmm.” He brushed back Satoru's locks to spot the scar on his forehead and kiss that booboo. “You've never been a monster to me. Just a goofy idiot.”

Elated chuckles hit his giant lobed ears as his resident goofball pecked his blushing nose. “Your goofy idiot, smart ass.”

“Awwww~”

Flinching at that familiar voice, the guys directed their flushed gazes to you; your cheek mushed against Toru's pillow chest, fawning over them with your e/c eyes, round with sparkles and hearts set a glow in ‘em.

“I agree with all the above. Don't mind me. Just get it on with the yaoi goodness.”

“How subtle.” Suguru's eyes crinkled with mirth.

“She's got good taste, though.” Satoru's feline grin followed, rolling you both over to smush you in between them, pecking your forehead. “Period.”

You frowned. “All the apologies in the world can't make up for me letting you two down today.”

“Nonsense.” Suguru disagreed as the back of your head cushioned in between his plush pecs. “Having you here with us makes this shitty day much better.”

“We all screwed up.” Gojo griped before it became a longer deeper yawn.

Your eyes glowed a moment before dying down, alerting them and reminding you. “Time for you to sleep. Cause we got a lot of shit to think over on how to move forward. For all of us.” His exasperated sigh was met by your chaste lips as you leaned up to kiss him; him returning it to suck them up.

“Yes ma'am.” His pouting turned to a dopey grin; growing wider when Suguru kissed him goodnight too. That finally conked him out, breathing softly, when Suguru's hand wrapped around your side, turning you to lay on your back so he could see you properly; eyes clad in guilt of his own.

“Y/n, in no way should you feel responsible for what happened. That assassin would have killed you too if you had gotten involved. If we lost you as well …” His forehead met yours, letting you kiss him slowly, pulling him in to relish your personal taste. “My hope is that they're in a better place now.”

“Me too … My visions are just as much an omen as they are an aid. In this world there are no guarantees for a peaceful living … but I believe in you two … no matter what … and I know in my heart this is worth it, risks and all.”

Your honest smile made him grateful for accepting him, despite all that's happened, his tears hitting your face in response so you kissed his tears away.

“Thank you, Y/n.” His whispers met your lips as you two got caught up in another kiss when you two grunted in surprise as Satoru flipped you both over, smothering you two under his precious heat.

“‘M love you both, mmh so much.” He mewled, sleepy eyes peeking open to drowsily smile down at you two.

“Satoru, we can't breathe.” A red faced Suguru wheezed out.

Satoru languidly laughed, “My bad.”

Thankfully, you three were able to get some shuteye that night.

They're your whole world now.

Deep down inside, they know they're both monsters, for that day brought the truth to light of their dark potential.

But they're your monsters.

Your empathetic, devious, passionate monsters.

And as far as the truth goes, you too are just the same.

Three of a kind, indeed.

[crispycreambacon]

You fill your head with thoughts you find you can't even feel

Try to make room in your skull, but it’s full of them

All of the things that you think and then think about thinking

I know it’s hard, but they're not who you are

They're white noise

— White Noise, Will Wood —

Welcome one and all to "Mashing Two Interests Like Playdough", the first episode is Puppet History x Will Wood, specifically the Substitute x White Noise 'cause holy moly. It fits him so well. Omg.

I had so much fun creating this poster! I'm really proud of how the poses and the rendering turned out even though both gave me a rough time at first </3 I actually had an earlier version of this poster, but I scrapped it because it wasn't doing it for me ngl :,D I'm glad I did though!

Anyways if you'd like to know more about why I think this song fits the Substitute, you can read my interpretation of the lyrics and how they can relate to him below the "Read More" button. You can also find the glitchless + filterless version of the poster there.

Note: A lot of this is speculation on my part, and you don't need to conform to this reading. This is just how I perceive him.

They paint the walls with colors that you're not meant to notice

They fill the halls with tunes you can't get into your head

Let's establish the obvious: The Substitute can't feel. The extent of his unfeelingness is unknown, but what is known is that he can't taste and can't have the sensation of touch. This may lead to him being isolated due to his inability to relate to experiences both humans and his fellow puppets seem to have, particularly the experiences of the one he is based on.

Yeah, it sorta sounds like a retro top-40 but wrong

You're not meant to sing along

It isn't that kind of song

It's white noise

Despite his unfeelingness, he still wants to have the experiences others have. After all, he literally almost killed someone just to have that chance, but his plan is not entirely well-thoughout. How was he going to dispose Ryan's body without getting caught? How was he going to sew the skin onto himself and dispose the rest of it? What was he going to do after he finally what he asked for?

In a way, he was doomed to fail. He was never meant to gain sentience anyway, let alone have the desire to feel like his counterpart. His existence is a complete accident. Now he has to deal with the consequences of actions he never even had a hand in doing.

But if you listen closely I swear, to God I swear

You can hear the ocean if you hold it up to your ear

This lyric directly inspired the pose of the Substitute listening to the conch shell. He has memories of some of the most wonderful sensations on Earth yet he can't connect with any of them. Perhaps when no one was looking, he tries to recreate some of them in a desperate attempt to find a scrap of semblance of feeling and gets increasingly frustrated with his inability to understand them.

Is it any wonder that he would do anything to regain that scrap of enjoyment? To end his torturous experience by any means necessary?

Its personality's a lack of identity

The entire second verse in general speaks about the meaningless of art and how people try to give it meaning anyway. The Substitute's only purpose was to replace the Professor either to console a dead mass or to continue the show. Now that the Professor is back... What can he do?

Moreover, he's also never allowed to have an identity of his own. Since he's meant to be a perfect copy of someone else, especially someone who's presumed to be dead, he can never really deviate from that role because it would break the illusion the puppets created to cope with their grief. No matter what his desires are, he can never really explore any of them because no one is allowing him to do so.

Also, the way the orchestra swells during this part kinda calls back to theatrical music for me. I feel like the Substitute would enjoy performace arts. His bombastic musical number implies he had a flair for the dramatics, and despite his lack of feeling, his expression of his ambitions is quite dramatic.

You fill your head with thoughts you find you can't even feel

This can relate to how the Subtitute is forced to relive the memories of the Professor despite not being able to experience the emotions connected with them. In a way, he has to so that he could remind himself of his motivations. Remembering the joy the Professor got through feeling would keep him going on this path in the hopes that some day, he could feel that joy too.

I know it's hard

But they're not who you are

They're white noise

This line can be taken in two ways. One is based on the speculated official meaning of the outro which is centered on intrusive thoughts. No doubt the Substitute deals with homicidal thoughts, but I wonder if he truly believes in them. Does he genuinely enjoy indulge in them, or does he act on them because it's all that he knows? For all the talk about him having the Professor's memories, at the end of the day, he was crudely coded for one simple purpose. His thoughts are very simplistic—as seen with how quickly he jumps to murder as the most logical solution for his problem—and I wonder if he was given a chance to grow beyond his purpose, he could've reliazed that homocide was not the right course of action.

The other way, which is likely more relevant, relates back to the Substitute being intrinsically tied to the Professor. His thoughts, his memories and his actions are all in a way influenced by the Professor. But it didn't have to be this way. As unlikely as it is, he could've had a life where he discovered his own interests and his own personality outside of being "the evil Professor". If he had gotten to learn more about the world on his own, if he had been able to act not as the Professor but as himself, he would've been able to develop more and find that joy he was missing. He could've had a life.

Unfortunately, he was never given that chance, and it is unlikely that he ever will be.

[verdantlights]

Smoldering Flames atop the Highest Mountains

hey chat its ya boy. sorry. anyways my last 2 ocs for alnst 41, Lys and Everest! They are..... romantically intertwined but it's complicated.

Lys is a non participant (my first non participant wowie)

Everest is participating.

TW for a very brief and vague mention of SA by the segyein towards Everest.

Lys

She/Her, AFAB

Human

5'9" and 134 lbs in American

Owner is Abnoma

Brand is across the back of her neck/nape

Trivia!

She considers Ichor to be her brother since they're under the same owner, and vice versa for Ichor (he sees her as his sister). They're sworn, so to speak.

She's calm, but passionate, ferocious, and brave. She's been told that her eyes look like there are flames trapped inside. She likes these comments and it makes her more passionate.

Lys has a beautiful, powerful, soul filled voice. She loves putting everything into her song. She makes sure that everyone can hear her and that they can feel her emotions.

She loves her hair and takes care of it very well, she does it the same every day. Lys finds the 'space buns' funny, considering her circumstances.

Lys knows what's going to happen to her, and she's not happy about it. She tries to find humor in it, but it just seems to piss her off more often than not.

Her name is taken from a fleur-de-lys! Her character in general is inspired by Louisiana and Cajun culture, which is why her name can be pronounced both "leese" and "lee." She just doesn't like it when people assume her name is Alyssa and/or pronounce her name "liss."

She really likes spicy food and just food in general, but she scrunches her nose and turns down anything that's bland.

She likes art! She draws occasionally, and it's usually scenery that she draws. Sometimes she'll draw people (couGH everest), but those stay hidden where no one will see them.

She has a crush on Everest, but you couldn't waterboard that information out of her.

She stays on good terms with the admin so that she's not collared and punished, but she doesn't like behaving. She doesn't like the staff and/or any segyein. Her owner is an acception, but they're on thin ice.

Fluent in sign language for Ichor!

Everest

She/He, Intersex

Tube Baby

5'4" and 120lbs in American

Owner is Venlyx (ven-lix)

Brand is on her abdomen

Trivia!

Everest identifies as nonbinary-intersex and considers herself as sapphic. She's usually gendered femininely, but also enjoys presenting masculine. (60% fem/40% masc)

She is albino. I know I have Seraph, but considering his... story... this is a bit different.

The only altercations made to her gene pool is that her eyesight is normal (20/20 vision, no sensitivity, and no lazy eye) and her skin is not as sensitive as it usually is for albino people.

His owner is very wealthy and very famous. Everest won the 36th Alien Stage, causing him and his owner to rise to (even more) fame. Everyone loved his performances and he continued to perform for the segyein after winning. His owner took him out of ANAKT after winning, choosing to fund his career as a performer.

Her fame died down after a few seasons passed, so Venlyx admitted him back into ANAKT for season 41.

She doesn't quite mind her situation. While yes, she doesn't quite like battling for her life, she knows she has to. She will do whatever it takes to seek validation and to win.

Took a liking to Lys when she got back to ANAKT. She lets Lys braid her hair and talk to her about music and art.

People think he's a bit strange. He hides his emotions behind a calm smile, but under everything, he is desperate for an escape. He locks that part away, because there is no escape. The people around him can almost feel that turmoil within him, thus deciding to stray away from him, despite how enchanting he might be.

Considered to have very good genes and exceeds beauty standards. The segyein love him, and during his time after winning, he was bought out by other segyein for events and parties. He has been used for the pleasure of the segyein due to his unique genitalia being desirable. (he has both, if youre wondering) He also locks those thoughts and memories away. He doesn't like the way his skin crawls when thinking about it.

She loves anything cold. She has no aversion to heat or warmth, but she just likes feeling cold and eating/drinking cold things.

Is never seen with her collar because she never misbehaves. The staff actually love her, too. A few of them are familiar with her from s36, so she's on good terms at ANAKT.

Sometimes, she is taken out of ANAKT briefly for a photoshoot, but is back before the day ends.

That's all i think. here are their inspo sheets :D

For Lys:

Raiden Shogun Ei, Raiden Bosenmori Mei, and Raiden Mei. (AKA All three Raiden Expys from the hoyoverse games.)

Talkin' Bout Bri - MegaGoneFree (her appearance itself was an inspiration too hehe)

LABOUR - Paris Paloma

Princess Tiana (represenative of the louisiana culture,,, and shes just my favorite disney princess i love her so much)

Mina Ashiro from Kaiju No.8

Me <3

For Everest:

Princess Yue/Moon spirit from ATLA

Shinobu Kocho from Demon Slayer/KNY (representing the internal turmoil thats hidden very well)

Luka from ALNST

Luna Lovegood (look guys- she was my favorite)

My Clematis - STUDIO LICO

Me <3

i dont have their playlists yet, but i will be posting everyones voice claims for both speaking and singing,,,, hopefully later tonight? (its 6.14 pm as i type this so idk)

anyways, my fire and ice parallel ocs <3 they are lesibanas and i love them. lys isnt too freaky, but everest can get pretty freaky...

taglist! no pressure :3 @rockwgooglyeyes @tsukacchako @aakaneeee @bluemoonscape @starry-skiez @yunoftheclouds @pwippy @junebluues @alien-til-i-stage @waterydream

edit: sorry if youre only jsut now getting tagged/the notification,,, the tags fucked up and i only just notced 😭😭

[gingermintpepper]

Day 5: Orpheus

Interpretation notes and trivia under the cut!

Orfeu meu amor <333 Honestly this could be my longest ever set of notes or the shortest because unlike literally any of the other Apollonian figures in this, I have never once had to waver from what I wanted with Orpheus and that's an Orpheus without Eurydice. I know that sounds kind of strange, Orpheus and Eurydice have always been completely synonymous with each other but like, Orpheus is kind of completely batshit as a concept and I'm tired of pretending the most interesting thing about him is his love life?? His love life is cool, don't get me wrong, but we, collectively, as a group of people don't pay nearly enough attention to the fact that Orpheus was singer and musician so gifted that he made trees and rocks bow to him and he could stir even the gods to grieve from his songs. This is the guy who's song was so beautiful that not only did he outsing the Sirens, they also killed themselves upon hearing his song?? This is the man that was pulled apart but his head just?? Kept on singing??? So the Muses just???? Added his perpetually singing decapitated head to their choir??? There are depictions of Apollo using said decapitated head to help him teach people???? And we're gonna focus on him trying to get his dead wife back?????? Really?? Miss me with that nonsense, Orpheus is the witchest witch to ever witch and if no one else is gonna make him the disgustingly powerful bard he was in myth then I guess I'll have to do it myself. His femme appearance is mostly inspired by the highly ornamental raiment of kithara players and he consistently has some of the fanciest clothes of the cast apocalyptic hellscape be damned.

Some assorted trivia:

Son of Apollo and Calliope - was accidentally conceived during the period when Artemis had forbid Apollo from fraternising with mortal creatures in penance for him orchestrating Orion's death and so Calliope and the other Muses hid him away in the court of King Oeagrus. Didn't know Apollo was actually his father until quite a bit later.

Not a demigod as that would imply he's half human. Orpheus isn't exactly mortal either but he certainly cannot be harmed by most normal methods. There's no formal name for something half god, half muse and not deathless so Orpheus prefers to identify as the Son of a Muse rather identifying strongly as something strictly divine.

Older than Heracles! One of Apollo's oldest children still kicking about, actually, but he's treated like the youngest due to how fragile he'd been after Eurydice's death. Is generally better now than he used to be, but still tends to have depressive episodes every now and again.

Horrifyingly powerful. Orpheus' words are so potent that he does his best to not speak at all for fear of influencing the people around him accidentally. Has the uncanny ability to transmit his own feelings through his songs which can be both fantastic and awful. The Twelve had Apollo put a seal on his tongue when he was grieving so his song would stop completely disrupting the world. The seal's since been removed as Orpheus has had a lot of help working through his feelings. Now he paints whenever he thinks about Eurydice which is much more productive for everyone involved.

Argonaut, storied traveller, speaker of many languages, healer, teacher and storyteller. Teaches occasionally at the Parnassus Institute for Gifted Children and tends to be a favoured teacher whenever he drops by. Is responsible for a lot of very important people knowing some form signed or gestured language.

Has no set 'home' and wanders from temple to temple, sanctuary to sanctuary. His worldly belongings like his clothes and old paintings are currently with Asclepius and his family. Apollo has some of his stuff as well, but they're mostly special instruments like the holy lyre he used on his journey on the Argo.

Never keeps any money on him and is usually fed and clothed by the townspeople wherever he goes. Hasn't had to actually pay for something in decades. Has absolutely no concept of money because he'd forgotten it's a thing people need day to day.

Had a brief fling with Heracles while he was still mortal and the two remain on good terms even now. Heracles tends to visit him every now and again for a stint in some springs and good music.

Favourite colour is maple orange, favourite food is roasted pheasant with rosemary and thyme. Allergic to specifically pale yellow mead but is fine with raw honey and honeycomb. Aristaeus has been trying to figure out what causes his reactions for years now.

[sol-consort]

Aliens discovering our movies, art, books and video games and realizing why they’re all so precious to us

Like, a turian who comes from a high ranking family but just doesn’t have the abilities or skill the rest of their family has and it’s kinda outlasted for it puts on this old human vid called Encanto out of curiosity and by the end of it they’re a sobbing mess (whatever the turian equivalent of sobbing is) because “Mirabel just like me, fr fr.”

An Asari who just lost her first bondmate to old age and finding one of our sad songs about loss feels so touched by it and listens to it over and over again until she’s processed her own grief.

A Quarian who feel moved by a beautiful sculpture made of scrap metal and spare parts because it reminds them of the flotilla; a fleet of ships all held together with ductape, thread, and a prayer and yet still something beautiful.

The vibes I get from the other species is that they make their vids, games, books, and songs just to entertain, just background noise to fill the silence. Maybe they carry a deeper meaning sometimes but nothing compared to humans who pour their souls into their projects. Humans make fantastical stories out of the little parts of our lives that others can relate to and feel seen.

The handprint paintings on cavewalls come to mind. How instinctive drumming your fingers is how natural humming feels, how your brain spins stories before bedtime unprompted.

As much as war and disease have been parts of human history since the dawn of time, since the first spear was filled down, likewise music and art went with it hand in hand ever since the first flute was carved out, made from hollow birdbones and mammoth ivory, dating back to the time of ancients.

It's therapeutic. No one can deny the benefits of art on your mind and soul. It is what makes life worth living for many, the whimsy, the joy, the passion, the elation, the misery, the envy. The good and bad mirrors and reflections of our inner most desires, shameful feelings, and most creative ideas.

While the other species definitely don't lack in their culture and art—turians face tattoos borrowing from the batonical designs of nature—there is something to be said about the elcor deciding to adapt hamlet out of everything

There is a reason it's human music you hear playing at any self-respecting galactic club, ranging from the Citadel to Omega's own bars, the lights, the atmosphere, the valvety seats and soundtrack has a clear human touch. The human fashion which took over the asari modern wear like a swarm, inspiring many new designs combining the best of both worlds.

Humans aren't the only creative species, nor the one who care most about art. Rather, art comes naturally to us, all of us picked up colouring and drawing as kids, the urge to sing along to the radio, the desire to decorate your room, to spend hours moulding and sculpting characters in videogames even if they're end up wearing a helmet for the reminder of the story.

Art to us isn't necessarily a refined and polished thing like it is to the asari, neither is it an intricate impossibly complex dance with thousands of layers like the elcor. Our art is primal and integral. It's messy and often flawed. It's as mundane and common as the hair on our bodies, and it's everywhere. We breathe it into the world. Otherwise, it might sufficate it inside. It's so embedded within our whole existence that we are often blind to the more mundane forms of art, glossing over the way looking at sunsets gets our hearts slowing down.

Beauty was never the purpose of art for humans, but relief, communication, and self expression.

We look for art in everything, for a story under every unturned stone, for a poetic meaning behind the alignment of the stars, drawing shapes from their formation and assigning it meanings.

The other species could see that. it's what helped our reputation recover faster after the whole First Contact incident. What made the other species forgo their "bullies" perspective of humanity once they sampled our food, tasted our drinks, and were gifted bouquets of our flowers with cursive apologises worded so thoughtfully.

Art is the one thing you can't take from a human, we resort to it even during the most grim times of our life, especially during that, seek comfort in someone's creations, even quietly make our own versions inside the privacy of our heads. Just because art happens behind closed doors—or brains—doesn't mean it didn't happen. It's not a tree, it never required an audience to exist, its purpose is its mere just existence.

It's even infectious, wasn't the humans who got a krogan to agree and film a romantic comedy about falling in love with a human?

Do you think the hanar aren't absolutely fascinated by our tales of the sea, the ruthless spiteful ocean we seem to fear as much as we revere. The sirens, the krakens, the sailor shanties, the beautiful ships, and intricate wood carvings meant to bring luck.

Maybe the Turians can't get enough of human "coming of age" cheesy romcoms because our depictions of teenage rebellion and daring to be "selfish" and come into your own personhood is such a taboo amidst their military culture.

Or maybe they loathe it.

Instead, they prefer the stories about humans coming together to solve problems, realising the strength of cooperation, of beehive-like efficiency and utter trust in one another. Be it war films about soldiers coping with the cruel world while finding warmth in their comrades, or depictions of larger revolts where a whole population works together to put an end to their tyrannical leaders.

Maybe they're secretly Marvel fans, who knows.

Art doesn't have to be deep. It can be fun just for the sake of fun. Simple self-indulgence at its purest form. For every great classical piece of literature has been surpassed in sales by an erotica romance novelette with a shirtless cowboy on the cover.

I think the salarians would watch love paradise and other romantic reality shows about humans competing for one human's affection, hand in marriage, sometimes roses are involved—but salarians watch it with the same intensity of football fans watching a match, it is their own game of thrones, they don't care much for the sex but by the stars the "picking a mate" drama and gossip is equivalent to catnip for salarians

[dani-luminae]

Ok but I'm really curious I wanna hear your Wish rewrite ideas!!!!!!

What we were promised: "An origin story for the Wishing Star!" What we got: not an origin story, the Wishing Star just happens to be a character.

So, here's how I would rewrite it to honor the original premise and the finished film. (And no, there's no Starboy.)

🌟 Asha and the Wishing Star 🌟

Asha tells the story of Rosas, of how Magnifico learned magic, married Amaya, and founded their kingdom, primarily as a prologue to the (movie) audience but also revealed as a story for the new visitors to Rosas, whom she still greets and leads on a tour like in "Welcome to Rosas". After the tour she visits her friends in Dahlia's bakery where the whole "King's apprentice" ambition is revealed, and Sakina and Sabino arrive - a bit early for the Wish-Granting Ceremony, but they also wanted to come and wish Asha well in the interview. Sabino is still turning 100 that day, and has been waiting for his wish to be granted for 84 years (if my math is right.)

Queen Amaya still comes to retrieve Asha for the interview. Of course, Asha continues to hold the true values of Rosas at heart, just as in the finished movie, and Amaya sees this in her. In the king's study, Asha is very interested in all of the alchemy equipment, etc. but instead of approaching the dark magic book, she is repelled by it, staying away and then immediately being drawn towards the glowing wishes even though they are hidden from her at first. This is what gets King Magnifico's attention swiftly, rather than Asha touching the evil book's glass. Both of them hold wishes in very high regard and know them to be incredibly precious and needing protection ("At All Costs") - for very different reasons, of course, but that's not obvious yet. Asha still hopes for her grandfather's wish to be granted, but Magnifico refuses, still saying that Sabino's wish - to create something that inspires people - is too dangerous and vague, and that Sabino is better off not even remembering his wish. At the Wish-Granting Ceremony, King Magnifico still makes a show of refusing Asha's wish and dismissing her as a possible apprentice.

Later that evening, after the disagreement with Sabino who doesn't want to remember a wish he'll never see granted, Asha makes "This Wish," and of course, Star answers. He's a little hurtling ball of boundless energy which leaves Asha so confused at first, but then when she understands he came here because of her, she tells him about the wishes trapped by Magnifico, and they're resolved to find Sabino's wish and free it. Asha, however, already questions her own abilities compared to Star, which leads to the song "I'm a Star," about how every living thing has stardust in them - but Asha herself has always been able to perceive wishes in a way that few humans are truly able to. However, no star is able to use the full extent of their magical power without a wish being made to them, and once that wish is granted, a star must return to the sky to watch over all the world.

King Magnifico is alarmed by the light that shone when Star first arrived, and like the movie, has to be persuaded by Queen Amaya not to turn to the book. Instead, he gathers the people to claim Asha to be a traitor and ask them all about the light; Dahlia and the rest of Asha's friends cover for her with endless questions as Asha and Star get into the tower to get Sabino's wish, and Star is curious about the dark magic book, only for Asha to pull him away, saying she doesn't know how, but she's certain that it's incredibly dangerous. They retrieve Sabino's wish and escape - but not before witnessing Magnifico's spite towards the kingdom for questioning him and his turn to use the dark magic book ("This is the Thanks I Get?!")

Asha returns Sabino's wish to him, and asks Sabino what wonderful music he'll create first, only for Magnifico to arrive and confront them, crushing Sakina's wish as he does in the movie and Asha pulling down a bookcase on him for her and her family to escape. Asha sends Sakina and Sabino to a nearby island as she knows that Magnifico is a danger to all the kingdom, and that she must free all the wishes so that people are able to leave. She enlists her friends' help.

Queen Amaya witnesses King Magnifico with the dark magic book and staff and understands swiftly that a line has been crossed there's no coming back from. Worried but initially uncertain, it's not until the gathering in which Simon's wish is "granted" and he names his other friends as traitors helping Asha, when Star is able to get a message to Queen Amaya.

Asha and her remaining friends regroup, alongside Star and Valentino, and resolve to defeat Magnifico, joined soon by Queen Amaya ("Knowing What I Know Now"). At nightfall they enact their plan, with Asha once again acting as bait in the forest and aided by a magic wand while Dahlia and the others getting into the tower with Star and Amaya's help while Magnifico is seemingly distracted. But the trick is revealed as Magnifico sent Simon to pursue Asha and the real king has been waiting in his tower to catch them all in their treachery, trapping all the wishes and blocking out the sky. Asha's friends alone manage to escape him.

Star initially fights Magnifico and actually does fairly well for a few minutes, being more zippy and annoying than actually a threat, before Asha makes it back to the kingdom and is dragged to the top of the King's tower so he can make an example of her. Star attempts to interfere as Magnifico attacks Asha with magic, but Star is thrown aside as Magnifico derides him, saying "how could [Magnifico] have ever thought [Star] was a threat? He's nothing to be worried about at all, how can he grant even the measliest wish?"

Asha attempts to defend Star, challenging Magnifico, only for him to carelessly throw her from the tower - seemingly to her death. Star dives after her, too late to rescue her before he finds her motionless on a roof below, surrounded by Dahlia, Hal, Safi, Bazeema, Gabo, Dario, and even Simon who had been freed from Magnifico's control and come to find his friends. As it seems all is lost, Star mourns with Asha's friends and tries to comfort them all with gentle nose-boops, before he lays himself against Asha's heart, and begins to glow, brighter and brighter until both of them are blinding golden - then the glow fades, revealing only Asha remaining. She stirs and wakes, bewildered at first before her friends tell her what Star did. When Asha sees her heart glow the way that only Star had made it possible, realizes that not only has he had given himself to restore her, but he had also bestowed her with his magic, that he trusts her deeply to be able to defeat Magnifico. Wiping away her tears, Asha vows that she won't let Star down, and looks up to the tower under the darkened sky. She says she needs her friends, and that since Star touched them with his magic as well, she knows they cannot fail.

Having disregarded Asha and Star the moment they were out of sight, Magnifico descends to the stage where he always has them gathered and taunts the kingdom, snaring them all in his dark magic, saying there will be no more wishing on stars and none of them will ever escape - before Asha appears. She attempts to fight Magnifico, but he overpowers her again and throws her to the stage floor, and as Asha looks out at the trapped kingdom, she remembers that stars can only use their full powers to grant a wish, and she entreats the people of Rosas to make a wish ("This Wish (Reprise)"). As the people make a wish, Asha shines brilliantly and transforms into a radiant form (I particularly imagine this redesign by by @princess-ibri but you all are of course free to imagine her design however you want but it's definitely more than just sparkles!) and is able to rival King Magnifico's powers for the first time, disarming him and causing him to actually fear her. He attempts to flee from her, disappearing into the palace and charging up the tower. Asha does not pursue him, but as she commands, starlight breaks through Magnifico's dark clouds, causing them to begin to thunder and lightning.

Magnifico flees up the tower and finds all possible escape routes blocked by Asha's friend armed with magical weapons that were taken from his own chamber, determined not to let him get away. Upon reaching the top of the tower once more, he attempts to threaten the kingdom, trying to restore the darkness over the sky. However, the wishes of Rosas as granted by Asha's power are too much for him, and as he backs away from the seven friends, raising the staff, a lightning bolt of sinister green dark magic strikes the staff, causing a reaction that causes Magnifico to fall from the tower as the staff breaks into pieces. He is trapped in the mirror-like jewel, unforgiven by Amaya, and will be locked away behind the protected glass that once housed the dark magic book.

With Magnifico defeated, however, the wish that Asha made and Star answered is fulfilled, and now Asha must ascend to the stars in Star's place to continue watching over the world. She breaks the orbs containing all the wishes, allowing them to be returned to all of Rosas, and begins to bid good-bye to her friends, who will all miss her. Most of all, Asha says, she is sad that she will never be there in person to hear all the wonderful music that Sabino will write to inspire the world.

Sabino tearfully embraces her, and says she will know of it, he will make sure.

After seeing that the kingdom is in good hands under Amaya's care - that the queen still holds all the values of Rosas at heart - Asha rises into the air, transforming into a beacon of light that soars away through the stars. The star she becomes glows brighter than the rest in the sky, so the people of Roses will always know her.

For the ending scene, Sabino and Sakina sit outside their home, looking up at Asha's star self in the sky, as Sakina says "Asha will be happy. Her greatest wish was always to help people. So long as people wish, she will be there." "Yes, she will be," says Sabino, and he picks up his lute, picks a few notes, and then begins to compose the first lines of 'When You Wish Upon a Star'. "And she will be there to grant wishes wherever they come from."

The end credits shows Asha's star overlooking moments from all the original Disney animated films throughout history. Maybe she didn't actively participate... but she was there, watching over them all.

~~~

🌟 This was lots of rambling and no it was not proofread lol. Anyways I just think that Wish missed a lot of potential and this at least is my perfect rewrite. 🌟

Hope you don't mind me referencing your redesign @princess-ibri! It's just my perfect idea of Asha getting the incredible transformation she deserved.

[gamchawizzy]

"Look Into My Eyes.", a Byrgenwerth Trio-inspired playlist

𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦, 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺, 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺…𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘺 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴.

This was a playlist I made a long time ago while I was figuring out characterising my headcanons for the Byrgenwerth Trio (Micolash, Rom, and Laurence). It eventually sort of morphed itself into becoming a partly-cohesive story. Maybe some of you guys might want to hear it.

All the songs added in are either 1. the lyrics fit the characters/story or 2. the melody adds to the atmosphere

Anyway songs and interpretations under cut if you like reading that stuff. I did my best to make it as chronological/sensible as I could but feel free to suggest any rearranging!

Photo credit: Portrait of Raskolnikov by Samanyu Sharma ( flic . kr/p/5fxXGf )

Astronauts - Rom is the butt of everyone's jokes, the one who struggles the most in class. Maybe she is better off not having gone to Byrgenwerth at all. Maybe she should've stuck to being a countryside florist. Maybe she's dragging the others down. The best she can do is keep her head down and push forward. She's lost a little bit of herself along the way, but that's okay. She knows they'll be proud of her in the end.

Now I close my eyes, my ears and start to walk forward. I can't hear your voice, and can't see your smiles, but it's fine.

Clair de Lune - Ok no brainer since the name translates to "Moonlight", but I imagine this is what Byrgenwerth in its glory days would "feel" like. Classy, sophisticated, and a little lonely. Every student is on their own at the end of the day, after all. It's an unspoken race.

Take It From Me - Still very Rom-themed! Also flower-themed lyrics. Finding friendship in Micolash and Laurence. School is hard but life goes on. They're helping create a future for humanity after all.

Trinity Eye - Laurence this time, being a young determined man who knows his research is right. If only the school wasn't so opposed to the blood. Willem's teachings and his early findings about Flora, the Moon Presence keep clashing and have made him cynical.

Can you feel my rage? I'll go again: go against the light It towers all amongst the stars at night, between the trinity eye Everything stops and starts again when I feel your heart In a minute can we go again? Go against the light

I Should Be Allowed To Think - Definitely both Micolash and Laurence. Brilliant minds who seem to be asphyxiated by the very institution they come from.

Hey Moon - Laurence finding solace in the moon, knowing the Moon Presence is out there, somewhere, somehow… Being a foreigner in this strange city is lonely. The only constant he has is the moon.

Stars - More Rom because I love her. I think she grows closer to Micolash. Similar ideas and sweetness in their friendship. I like that this song combines both of their motifs - stars and flowers.

Sleepwalk With Me - Hints of one-sided Mico/Rom, chattering into the wee hours…

Manta Rays - More Mico/Rom :33c My Mico is ace/greyaro so this is more of a queerplatonic bond-type of situation. Feelings are so weird for him hahah

ocean eyes - Mico/Rom. I've headcanoned that Rom's always had a lot of insight! A bit of clairvoyance, too, seeing a future Micolash and a ruined Yharnam.

Antigravity - Micolash gaining more insight, his research pushing him to new heights. Eyes open.

I Wish I Was The Moon - The research wears Rom out. Overworked, underpaid, alone - She wishes she could stop. Wishes she could sleep forever, but she can't. Not when she's so close.

Bringing It Down - Shortly after the Fishing Village incident. Micolash witnessing the lies of his colleagues finally falling apart, particularly Rom, Laurence, and even Maria. It makes him even more embittered towards them. Rom most of all - she isn't as innocent as she seemed. Her moral grandstanding meant nothing. They're all in this damned mess together now.

Asleep, and Unwell - Both are for Rom! As she draws closer to ascension, having either been blessed by Kos, or having "used" her - Rom is slowly having the realisation that maybe ascension isn't all that what it's cracked up to be. Doesn't seem worth it from what she's had to go through. Now she's alone and friendless once more. But it's starting now, and she can do little but wait.

Misery Fell - Laurence introducing Blood Healing to the public. No more of that classist education. No more of those expensive medicines. Blood is free.

Evil Eye - DEFINITELY Micolash coded song, I think this is when he gets his own school. Now he's a big shot. Sure, Laurence is bigger, and still hates him. He knows it and gloats over it.

Spleen - Rom probably on 100 insight at that point and spouting prophecies and nonsensical blabber while she is locked away in Byrgenwerth.

Andromeda's Eyes - Kinda self explanatory. Rom's full name is definitely Andromeda in my canon lmao. I think she's fully ascended into Kin at this point. Laurence and Mico know she's finally achieved perfection and visit her for one last time. Willem is still blabbing away at how they've gone and thrown Yharnam to the dogs.

Puzzles, and What's He Building? - Both Micolash themed ambiences.

Don't Stop - Laurence at the height of his power as the Vicar.

Who Will Save You Now - Micolash descending into madness as he's turning the entire school rogue against the Church.

Fresh Blood - Mostly just Yharnam-themed. After the ashen blood, the beginnings of the beastly scourge. A lot of the first victims to beast attacks are most likely women of the night.

New Person, Same Old Mistakes - Micolash tamping out the last bits of his humanity and memories, justifying it all with the grift that he comes to believe himself.

Dark Matter - Mensis Ritual! aka the Cool Micolash moment. I imagine at the end of this the Wet Nurse emerges from the cosmos as Micolash is in the eye of a swirling nightmare, enveloping him and his colleagues

Give Me A Sign - Micolash is still praying to Kos, but she doesn't seem to hear him…

Glass Spiders - Rom kind of just. Mourning her friendships

Volatile Times - Laurence as he slowly falls sick to the scourge. I think the word "volatile" fits the situation so well - everything is literally on fire at this point. Soon enough, even Laurence himself.

Where Owls Know My Name - It's lonely at the top. Having ascended into Kin, Rom now exists on a different plane.

Waste of The Moon - More Rom regrets!! If you haven't noticed at this point I love making this story revolve around everyone having regrets

Bloodstream - Sad Laurence moment where he has a "conversation" with the Moon Presence. He can't go where she is.

Let It Burn - More sad Laurence! His hopes for humanity, his soul, and Yharnam - they all burn. The Great Ones, The Moon Presence - they all do not hear him.

Hurt - Micolash, alone in the Nightmare. No one hears him too. He's too far gone into what he's done. He's had regrets too. Too bad he'll never quite internalise it.

Those Were The Days - Just looking back at old Byrgenwerth days.

ECNALUBMA - MERGO IS HERE IT'S SILLY TIME AGAIN. I know everyone's dead but I think it'd be funny if "the men in fancy uniforms" were the other students. "Marry me and be my wife" sounds so funny too, I think he'd say that to Wet Nurse and she would visibly shudder

Evening Harmony - Rom as she ponders the state of Yharnam now and what's become of her former friends.

For The Departed - Laurence as he transforms into the Cleric Beast.

The Irremediable - Another one of Rom's prophecies and/or incoherent ramblings. A damned man descending endless, bannisterless stairs, Going lampless down the brink of a pit Whose stench betrays its watery depths, Where slimy monsters glare With great phosphorescent eyes That deepen the darkness of the night And make nothing but themselves visible

Curses - Laurence in the Hunter's Nightmare.

Lost At Sea - Rom in her dying moments, knowing Micolash will soon be next.

Bright College Days - A farewell to Byrgenwerth memories.

Mirror Man - yeah it's another Mico song

Blood - Of course

Eternity and A Day - Really just end credits, but also The Hunter (Luce) as he is trapped in the Nightmare with the strange man with the cage on his head, the odd bespectacled man who shares drinks with him, the mysterious winged figure, and the most unnerving being of all - the invisible baby.

[coolcattime]

Mianite D&D AU/headcanon ideas inspired by this ask from @licantropa and the tags by @syndianites and @kiwibirdlafayette

Jordan - Aasimar Paladin (Judgement)/Artificer (Artillerist)

The recently chosen champion of Lady Ianite.

He ran away started his journey away from home to find the answers of his mysterious goddess’ whereabouts in the middle of the night with only basic adventuring supplies and a small robotic companion/pet he’d crafted himself. He ends up finding an abandoned temple turned prison, which it seems his goddess had thankfully escaped from, but he quickly found himself locked in it as a group of opportunist bandits decide to try and get a ransom.

He ends up rescued by Tom, Tucker, and Sonja, a very slightly more experienced group of adventurers which happens to include the champions of the other two gods. They had been hired to rescue Jordan by his (non-biological) brother, and are surprised to hear about Jordan’s quest to find the lost goddess, but all happily join on the quest for their own reasons.

Tom - Tiefling Barbarian (Zealot)/Warlock (Fiend)

The not-quite-undead champion of Lord Dianite.

Once upon a time, Tom was just a normal barbarian, though he doesn’t remember those times very well. As far as he knows, he was once a part of an adventuring party that ended up running into a monster far beyond their own skill and ended up dead. However, his own skills ended up catching the attention of Lord Dianite, who brought him back to life as his champion -- as well as giving him a few more bonuses.

He’s the champion with by far the closest relationship to his god, having a lot of communication with him compared to Jordan (whose goddess is missing) and Tucker (whose god might as well be missing). However, his communication with Dianite has become a double edged sword as the god seems very against him helping Jordan find Lady Ianite, instead telling him to get the man to join their side. He’s happy enough to do the task, but can’t help but get nervous as they start to find more evidence that Dianite might have something to do with his sister’s disappearance and what that might mean for his friends with his loyalty to his god.

Tucker - Human Cleric (Forge)

The champion of Lord Mianite.

Tucker has always been especially loyal to his god, having grown up in temples surrounded by clerics and paladins of the highest respect. He trained and duelled with the best throughout his childhood, though a lot of his training ended up being spent in the forges creating weapons for heroes older and more powerful than himself. Most expected Tucker to become a Paladin, but his divine blessing came a lot more directly and his skills with metalsmithing became his very connection with the god he's a champion for.

He was the first person in the adventuring party after he went out into the world to prove himself as Lord Mianite's champion, meeting Tom when the two were hired for the same job. He's happy enough to help Jordan, though he's never heard of Lady Ianite before, as he believes that it might finally be the quest he's looking for to prove himself as a champion.

Sonja - Shifter Bard (Lore)/Warlock

An Archivist of the Gods.

Sonja has always been a gatherer of information, making sure to collect and tell the tales of great heroes. She was able to gather great crowds to listen to her spin tales into songs and performances. Though showy, she rarely bends the truth of the tale, giving a far more accurate tale even if it does not give the best reflection of the heroes or gods she is telling the tale of. She's popular with the people and can typically charm those who don't like her to get them on her side. However she's banned from a fair number of libraries and museums dedicated to heroes who would prefer their tales be told the way that they're currently being told.

If anyone asks, Sonja is a follower of Lord Mianite. And in fact that's what the other members of the adventuring party believe this to be the case, as in the most technical sense it is true. While definitely not as devoted to the gods as any of her fellow party members, she has a more powerful than most connection to Lord Mianite; she just also happens to have made a pact with an ancient god eating entity for more magical knowledge, but that's really her business and no one else's, even if she can feel her patron tugging to ruin their quest for the lost goddess at every opportunity.

Capsize - Half-elf Rogue (Swashbuckler)/Paladin (Crown)

“The Paladin of Ianite” / The messenger of Ianite

A pirate captain on her own quest to free Ianite who the main party find and join up with by apparent coincidence. They ordinarily meet in a tavern where Jordan, Tom, and Sonja all try flirting with her, only Sonja being in any way successful. However, said first meeting is cut short by a group of armed individuals entering the tavern, demanding a meeting with “the Paladin of Ianite” alone that evening and to make sure she actually shows, they have her brother. As the thugs teleport away, Capsize dashes out to try and find Redbeard as she recognised them as lackeys of one of her less trustworthy clients. The main party doesn't see her panicked reaction due to them all panicking themselves, believing the threat to be directed towards Jordan.

Due to the mix up, the main group end up breaking into the back and freeing the prisoner who it turns out is not Jordan's brother, but Capsize's. They quickly rush to help Capsize, who is holding her own in the meeting turned fight but severely outnumbered until the others show up. After the fight, introductions are done properly. Upon learning of Jordan's quest and title, Capsize and her brother both burst out laughing but offer to take the group to Ianerea to meet the other champion of Ianite as a payment for their help.

[audioaperture]

The Dangerous Summer - Chicago 7.12.24

There are bands that consistently deliver remarkable albums yet somehow slip under the radar. For me, The Dangerous Summer epitomizes this phenomenon. With a flawless discography, they've never released a bad album.

Music hits harder when it comes from a deeply personal place, using real names and locations. This authenticity is why artists like Taylor Swift resonate so widely. AJ Perdomo of The Dangerous Summer channels this approach masterfully, singing with raw, unfiltered emotion. His intensity is palpable—every note, every lyric, you feel it as if it's your own story.

My journey with The Dangerous Summer began with "No One's Gonna Need You More," a quintessential emo anthem from their 2011 album "War Paint." Delving deeper into "War Paint" and their earlier album "Reach for the Sun," I discovered two masterpieces where every track stands out. By this time I thought for sure I was the last to hear about them, who could ignore such perfection?

Following "War Paint" were the equally stellar "Golden Record" and their self-titled album, which emerged after a hiatus. This album features my favorite track, "This Is Life," a song that captures my feelings better than I ever could (which I expand upon later)

And then came "Mother Nature"—an emo album designed for stadiums. This record not only stands out in their catalog but in the entire genre. It’s innovative and fresh while staying true to their essence. In 2019, it was on constant repeat for me. The transition between "Starting Over / Slow Down" is pure auditory delight, a seamless blend that’s absolutely addictive.

"Way Down," another gem from "Mother Nature," pushes Perdomo’s emotional delivery to new heights, taking that emotional ten to eleven. The album is packed with standout tracks like "Blind Ambition," "Bring Me Back to Life," "Virginia," and "Where Were You When the Sky Opened Up," each one a high point.

After "Mother Nature" came the EP "All That Is Left of the Blue Sky," featuring "Fuck Them All," ironically one of their most (sonically) uplifting and inspirational songs. Their next album, "Coming Home," continued their streak of excellence, and their latest release, "Gravity," is nothing short of fantastic.

"Gravity" opens with "I Feel More Like Myself When I'm Losing It," a track that speaks to the universal artist experience. It's incredibly relatable content.

The Dangerous Summer is more than a fantastic band—they're a band that pours their soul into every song, every piece of artwork, every conversation, and every social media post. Their passion and dedication shine through, making every live show an unforgettable experience. If only they could play a 30-song set, the world would be a better place.

Do yourself a favor and spend time listening to the Dangerous Summer.

Finally, I thought I’d share the video & lyrics to “This is Life,” it’s a short song with no traditional song structure. 3 verses and the chorus is at the end.  It’s concise and shares the sentiment I often feel as an artist and human. For me, the song is about overcoming obstacles, finding your true self, feeling free, letting go of the past, and loving life. I feel inspired after every listen.

There's a change In the wild Shot in waves Pushing time And I see the days Turn to night And taking in all my peripheral thoughts into feeling It's a pulse inside my lungs I see sky where once was ceiling Leaving the fact I can change the world Cause I think I could You used to come my way I used to feel like I could not open up But now I am free

It's a shame This is life With everything at our disposal While we stayed inside Most our lives Hoping to God for a better one until we die I used to hold that chain I used to carry the weight of all my problems here with me But now I come through But now, now I come through

It's awake For the rush The promise of what we all want if we pull from inside Close your eyes The moment is taking me closer, it keeps me alive I used to run away I used to hide from these walls that gave me life But now I can breathe

Do you remember me like I remember you?

[pijjafairys]

Last dance.

pairing ; the8 x reader

genre ; heavy angst, slow burn

trigger warning ; d1e, depression, empty feeling

note ; a songfic inspired by LAST DANCE - BIGBGANG, possible grammar and spelling mistakes, may take a bit longer

The sound of footsteps echoed in the deserted apartment hallway, and the clock struck half-past eleven at night. It was almost midnight, and there was less and less human activity.

Eisa, often called Minghao, was carrying a tote bag filled with his monthly shopping. He opened the door to his apartment room lazily, and after placing the tote bag on the table, he threw himself roughly on the sofa and exhaled heavily.

"Life's becoming tougher around here," he grumbled to no one in particular.

Opening his phone, he pressed the music player app and set a random playlist. He tried to close his eyes, hoping that when he woke up later, his fatigue would be gone.

Eisa opened his eyes slowly and felt someone lightly patting his cheek. Trying to blink repeatedly to adjust to the bright room light, he heard a soft voice saying, "Hey, let's get up and eat first. I'm already cooking." A tiny hand extended towards Eisa. Eisa, who was still not fully awake, just nodded, smiled, and accepted the tiny hand. They walked towards the dining room, and the smell of cooking was so fragrant that it pierced their noses.

"Ah.. This is all I can whip up right now. I'll make sure to cook up a storm tomorrow." The woman slightly lowered her head, and that woman is you.

"It's okay babe. You don't need to cook much anyway since it's already late. It's just me and you who will eat, so don't be sad. Let's eat. Thank you very much," Eisa smiled gently and stroked the top of your head.

You guys ate together quietly, with only light conversation to break the silence of the night.

"I'm stuffed! Thanks a bunch, dear. I'll whip something up for you tomorrow," Eisa cleaned up his dirty dishes and put them in the sink. "What will you do, hun? I'll do the dishes. I'm the one who cooked," you tried to stop Eisa who wanted to wash all the dirty cooking and eating utensils.

"Honey, you already cooked, so it's my job to wash the dishes. You just sit here and keep me company," Eisa said as he gently pushed you back towards your chair.

You snorted and smiled, "Alright then." While waiting for Eisa to finish up, you strolled over to the sofa, picking up his cellphone that was lying around carelessly. You tried to change the music he was playing on his cellphone.

"Hey, why'd you change it? I have a weird taste in music, don't I?" Eisa walked over to you, looking a bit glum.

"Huh? No way, I like all the songs you like. They're unique. I just wanna hear a different song, and maybe dance and sing with you." you smiled and put the phone back on the table.

Eisa tilted his head and raised one eyebrow, looking a bit confused. You chuckled, he looked so cute and funny right now. "You're such a weirdo," he said.

You frown as you listened to what he had just said. "How so? I just wanna listen to some tunes and bust a move," You said in annoyance.

"You don't really like dancing, honey." Eisa holding your hand and squeezed a little tighter as he started to get anxious and confused. You stroked the back of his hand gently with your thumb to give him a sense of security and comfort.

You didn't say anything, just smiled and started slow dancing with him.

A confused Eisa just followed your lead slowly, your mouth murmuring some lyrics of the song that was playing with a slight smile.

I'm still young so I

Guess I'm still immature

Why am I so stupid

You're dancing happily, feeling warmth in your chest. It's just as good as the first time you did it. You steal the chance to kiss his cheek or hug him for a while. Then Eisa happily hugs you tightly and lifts you up while spinning. You both laugh happily.

As Eisa opens his eyes, the euphoria dissipates, leaving behind an emptiness that feels almost suffocating. Tears stream down his face, a mix of joy and sorrow that he can't quite comprehend. He wipes his face roughly, trying to rid himself of the overwhelming emotions.

The haunting melody of "Last Dance" by BIGBANG still echoes in the room, a cruel reminder of what once was. Eisa struggles to remember the last time he felt truly happy, truly alive. The song was yours, a favorite that you both loved to dance to, but now it only amplifies the emptiness he feels.

Eisa looks around the apartment, but nothing has changed. It's still the same as when he arrived, a silent witness to his pain. He tries to keep it together, to hold back the tears that threaten to engulf him. But it's no use. He sobs uncontrollably, feeling utterly alone and lost in the emptiness of the apartment. The song only adds to the unbearable sadness that engulfs him, a constant reminder of what he has lost.

Music keeps on playing and

I am here waiting for you

Give me a chance

Please just once

I promise you

It won't be long

Eisa bawled his eyes out and soaked in every single word and beat of that song.

I will sing this song

And I will return to you

If I can see

Your beautiful self again

I will listen to this song with you

And dance for the last time

Remember this moment

Forever if you must

Just one last dance

Yesterday night when I

Held hands with you and danced

With your radiantly glowing and

Beautiful one last smile

Red, orange, yellow, green

An ecstasy I can't know

It doesn't go with the world

That I used to see and feel

Yesterday night when I

Held hands with you and danced

With your radiantly glowing and

Beautiful one last smile

Red, orange, yellow, green

An ecstasy I can't know

It doesn't go with the world

That I used to see and feel

"Do you miss me again?" Eisa whispered to the empty room, tears streaming down his face. "Or am I the only one who misses you? It's been two years since you left, but I still can't forget you."

He tried to catch his breath, but his chest felt tight, like a weight was crushing it. "I'm sorry for bothering you even when you're not here. I'm sorry for making things difficult for you," he continued, his voice choked with sobs.

"I know you're gone, but I can't stop talking to you. Please forgive me." Eisa paused for a moment, his eyes closed tightly.

"Thank you for coming to me in my dreams, for making me laugh, hug and kiss me, feeding me and dance together with you again. Thank you for being with me, even though it's just in my mind." He took a deep breath, trying to compose himself.

"I promise this is the last time I'll talk to you like this. I'll try to move on and live my life, but it's so hard without you. Please wait for me on the other side. I'll come to you eventually, but for now, I need to learn how to live without you."

Eisa couldn't hold back his tears any longer. He cried alone in the silent and empty room until exhaustion and sorrow finally took over, and he drifted off to sleep, still holding on to the memory of his beloved.

[whistlingstarlight]

I'm sorry for sending you two asks in one day, but I would love to hear you ramble about some of your favorite OCs you've created if you would like to (as long as you have the energy/brain capacity for it; no pressure)

No need to be sorry, and I'd love to talk about them!!

I'm not sure how I can choose favourites though, I love all my little guys🥺 So I'll talk about a few particular ones (featuring their old reference art)

If I did have a choose a favourite it would probably be Sammy Celestine, as bar two others I've had him the longest. He's a piece of nebula that gained sentience and landed on Earth (hijinks will ensue). He's fully embraced the lifestyle and culture of 1980s California, he loves rock music, rollerskating and visiting the arcade. He's part of a friend group of humans, and whilst he can appear human himself when necessary he tends to stay looking like himself when only in his friends' company.

He's one of my of my OCs who are inspired by songs, in this case the Queen song "Spread Your Wings" and David Bowie's "Starman".

Then there's Bard, who whilst I named I didn't actually design, I bought him off my lovely mutual @honey-dont! I haven't really fleshed him out all that much, he's just a little guy doing little guy things :]

Then Kels, who originated from a huge sci-fi project I was working on a few years back (the worldbuilding document was nearly sixty pages long!). I sadly lost the original document and didn't have heart to continue it, but I decided to revive a couple of my favourite characters from it just as OCs.

Kels is a Calcanium, an alien race of my own creation. He was originally a general in the Calcanium army, but he's been remodeled into a scout under Commander Piq. He works with his pet "cat" Parellax, the actual brains of their operations.

There's also Drowse and Inferna, a pair of elemental spirits who are a married couple. They spend their time doing sickeningly cute couple things <33

They're also inspired by songs (again, Queen), Drowse is named after the song of the same name, and they're overall inspired by songs like Seaside Rendevous, Millionaire Waltz, You and I.

[pageadaytale]

NaNoWriMo 2023: The Great Dilemma

Hi everyone.

For NaNoWriMo this year I'm bringing an old idea back from years ago, to see if I can write it better now.

The only problem is: I have so many ideas, I don't know which one to choose!

So I'm absolving myself of the responsibility by throwing the problem over to you, loyal readers! Below is a poll with the working titles (They're likely to change once written because I never stick with the title). You can find descriptions for each title below that. Vote for the one that you like the sound of best!

I'll be posting my progress on this blog every day in November (provided I'm able to write each day - watch this space...)

The Winter Spirit

Prisoners of War are made to spend the winter shovelling snow off the river so the icebreaker barges can clear the trade routes. At an old bridge, the prisoners begin to hear a strange song, calling them into the distance. One fateful day, a prisoner breaks ranks and runs for the bridge, searching for the irresistible song. On the run now from soldiers, wolves, and even his fellow prisoners, he must decide whether to stay in a world where he will never live, but never die; or return and face the consequences of his curiosity.

Themes: Freedom; Antifascism; Death; Creativity in times of strife.

Style: Like a Guillermo Del Toro fairy tale. There’s wonder, magic, and strange worlds, but there are also soldiers and bombs and hard labour.

Weal and Woe

A militant church spreads its gospel through violent hegemony, and all heretical artefacts are returned to the Cathedral of the Divine Flame for purification and disposal. However, when a magic dagger ends up in the hands of a middle management acolyte instead of the furnaces, and claims to be the voice of god, a typical coup for the hierarchy of the church suddenly becomes a whole lot more complicated.

Themes: Religion; Authoritarianism; Rebellion.

Style: Think Ikiru crossed with Small Gods. It’s about someone at the middle of their life, wondering what they’re doing; but it’s also about religious upheaval and a bloody coup and a magic dagger that talks with the voice of god, so...

Building Babel Higher

Babel was built. All the Devils poured out of Hell, climbed the tower, and killed God. But now he’s dead, they want to surpass his handiwork. Humanity has been drafted into building the tower ever higher, up into space, and after thousands of years the toil for the tower and life under the devils are all they know. But there are always people who wish to fight back, and the devils are beginning to see that these upstart rebels could be useful in their usurpation of their superiors. With support from the right party, it may be possible to destabilise the devils entirely…

Themes: Nihilism; Rebellion; Rebuilding after the apocalypse.

Style: Elaborate. Long musings on humanity, detailed descriptions of architecture, philosophical screeds. Various characters whose jobs are just to provide perspectives on philosophy, politics, and justice. I’ve been reading a lot of classics and the style is inspired by that.

[witch-apologist]

uhm no the movies and books is prolly gothIC, goth is a music based subculture, thats literally the whole point, its the ideology and the music (same as punk and emo etc music based counter culture). Thats why the response to "I wanna be goth" is "listen to the music".

Funny that you mention punk, which while yes the subculture is heavily tied to punk music is a subculture whose primary focus on being counterculture in ways that stand up to unfair rules imposed by an opressive society. Punk is an umbrella term for a vast variety of subcultures who all center around the central theme of actively pushing against unfair and unjust supression. This is why we have subcultures and movements like cripplepunk and cyberpunk. The music you hear in cyberpunk is not always the same as what you hear in steampunk, they're vastly different genres yet both are punk. And you certainly dont need to listen to RATM to be cripplepunk if youre a disabled person dedicated to giving the middle finger to ableists.

Same thing with emo, its about radical acceptance of being an emotional human being.

Goth is similar. Goth music is SHORT FOR gothic. Goth is a subculture cebtered around the celebration of, and finding solace and even beauty in the sad, scary, and other darker things in life. There are so many different subgenres of goth that you can hear something in one subgenre that sounds completely different than what you hear in another. Theres cybergoth and romantic goth and even PASTEL goth. The thing that connects the music genres is the centralized theme of appreciation of the gloomy, macabre, etc etc. While yes there is a significant and important bond between gothic music and gothic subcultures participation in the music part of the subculture is not required and even if it was the music that fits into various subgenres of goth. The Cure and similar bands did not materialize from thin air and decide to invent goth subculture. The subculture existed before the music did. The subculture shaped the music and the music shaped the subculture. Take Lacrymosa by Evanescence, that song samples Lacrimosa by Mozart. Why? Because the original song Lacrimosa uses dark, haunting sounds to create something beautiful. Goth art is so vast and varied you cannot possibly act as if the music is the only thing that matters. To reduce "goth" to fanfanaticism of a few bands is to erase a vast and beautiful intersection of human creation that has evolved and expanded over hundreds of years to culminate in a sense of comraderie between people who find meaning in the same overall theme of finding beauty and comfort and fascination in the darker things life has to offer. Goth is music, goth is fashion, goth is literature, and dance and cinema and every other form of art becuase goth is an ART subculture. So yes the music is super important, but so are the paintings and the fashion and the movies and the books and the history of it all!

You are erasing entire swathes of goth culture to hold just one of its important aspects above all others! If these subcultures are only about listening to the music then Taylor Swift is emo. But I am willing to bet good money that you don't agree with that. Why? Fall Out Boy is one of her favorite bands of all time, she has cited them as inspiration from her lyricism, she even collabed with Brendan Urie. But I would bet that you would not consider her emo, because she does not fit the aesthetic you associate with emo. But if you saw someone on the street with pink neon fishnet gloves, super teased hair, thick eyeliner, and a gir backpack you would automatically see that person as emo, only revoking their emo card after hearing that they dont listen to the music you deem as the litmus test for being emo. But why would you think that person is emo in the first place? It's not because the person is a total poser who just copied emos who completely invented everything after hearing Panic, it's because that person is engaged in multiple forms of art that fall under the umbrella of "emo" the teased hair comes from a long line of art that uses such hair to symbolize distress, the thick eyeliner comes from makeup art that emulates negative emotions by accentuating aesthetics associated with emotiobal turmoil. The pink fishnet glove comes from fashion where the taboo is celebrated, fishnets often being associated with undesirable classes of people. Gir as a character became a part of emo culture BECAUSE he is from a show about children in a horrible environment dealing with a level of emotion that is considered by "polite society" to be ugly. Gir specifically, is incredibly unhindered in his emotional expression, shouting his joy so loud it echoes through a grim cityscape, and wailing terribly when upset. Zim too.

You say its about the music but if you saw someone in the crowd at a cure concert wearing, idk, uggs and galaxy leggings and a sports hoodie, you probably would view and treat them as an outsider.

Goth is way bigger and way more diverse than you can even begin to gatekeep, and it feels cheap to ignore and erase all of the other artforms that all contribute to the subculture you supposedly love in the name of exalting just one of the important pieces above all.

[foxymoxynoona]

RM: Mono to Stereo: A Breakup

Gorgeous banner by @awrkive

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Summary: Nam and Sam. They're in sync in every way... until suddenly they're not. CW/Tags: Heartbreak, angst, Idol Namjoon Word count: 5635

Late June 2019

“We need to talk.” 

Namjoon should have known Sam meant something bad; weren’t those words infamous? But that kind of thing had no place in his relationship, the longest one he’d ever had, a whole seven months that felt like it could stretch to eternity. This was something else the two of them had, something real, something mature, the kind of relationship he could be proud of. The kind of relationship he could go on tour with and have zero doubts about its stability back home. He’d done the work, he’d done his best to be a good boyfriend, he’d prioritized her as much as he could despite all the pressures in his life, and the result was a relationship where we need to talk meant something beautiful. 

Yeah, they did need to talk, because he’d been gone for weeks now on the Love Yourself: Speak Yourself tour and he needed to love her and speak to her before they headed down to Busan next week. And then Japan for much of July but August he’d be back in Seoul with her.

We need to talk, I found this neat article I think you’ll like about how the human mind processes music.

We need to talk about that pot of noodles you made because it was horrible but I’ve been craving it.

We need to talk, I’ve had this earworm and I need you to transpose it to the keyboard for me, you know I can’t play, if I hum it can you catch it?

We need to talk, I’ve got two whole days off and we gotta decide if we’re going to be naked at your place or mine.

We need to talk, my boss is driving me nuts and I don’t need a solution I just need you to listen to me vent about how I want to boil him alive.

So of course he hadn’t expected it to mean anything when Sam invited him over with those words. He went in like a fucking idiot, eager to know what article she’d found or song she’d heard or life question she wanted to ponder with him after they fucked themselves to another plane of existence. That’s how it was with her. The sex was that good. The conversation was that good. Everything about them was so fucking good!

He sank back in the chair by the window in the corner of her living room, not only his favorite place to sit but also about the only place available to sit thanks to the equipment piled all around the room. Sam had broken into the industry years ago as a producer –an incredibly talented one before you even considered the extra effort for making it in such a male-dominated industry– but still hoarded things in her apartment as if she didn’t also have studio space a short walk away. She liked to keep the tools of her trade close. 

He understood it. It’s why he went nowhere without his Macbook and a notebook. You didn’t know when inspiration might strike, when you might hear something in your mind’s ear you needed to get down, and even his best efforts had never succeeded at getting rhythm or melody down properly with pen and paper. But Sam had a knack of transcribing what he hummed much faster than he could pitch it out –he was convinced she had perfect pitch like Jungkook, but she insisted there was no such thing, one of the many things they’d enjoyed heatedly debating that led to fucking. She was the first woman he’d ever been with who could make him so mad he wanted to fuck –he’d always thought that was something people made up in songs, just like he’d been doing. Turned out it was real. As in real fucking good.

“So what’d you want to talk about?” he asked, ignoring the confused bubbling low in his gut. She sat sideways on a padded bench in front of the keyboard, hands pressed down on the vinyl between her spread thighs. She looked to the side. He shifted, leaning forward, elbows on knees, trying to look enthusiastic about whatever she wanted to share.

She started to say something, then paused. She let out a deep sigh that sounded almost like a laugh. Namjoon felt his unease growing. Something was up. Worries flashed through his mind: She’s pregnant. She has cancer. She didn’t like the song demo I showed her yesterday. She’s got an opportunity in New York or LA like she’s been dreaming of and we’re going to have to do a long distance thing.

“I’ll be straight with you,” she said. Familiar words: she knew he admired directness. Not assholeness, but directness. There was a time for poetry and there was a time to be clear. “All right.”

“This is the end of our relationship.”

“Uh… say what now?”

“I’m sorry,” she said, but the downward curve of her mouth looked fake. “I’m… I’m breaking up with you.”

He stared at her. The words weren’t making sense and for a brief moment he thought he must have forgotten his native tongue. He was grossly misunderstanding her.

“Is this about LA?” he asked.

“What’s about LA?”

“Are you moving to LA?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Is that what you’re saying?” he asked. “You’re moving to LA? Because I don’t mind the long distance–”

“No. No, Nam, no.”

“What are you saying– because it sounds to me like you’re saying–”

“It’s over, Namjoon,” she said. Namjoon. So final sounding. She always called him Nam. Nam and Sam, because it rhymed and was stupid and he’d let himself be a little stupid with her.

“But… no. Why? This doesn’t make sense. Wait wait–”

She let out a noisy sigh and closed her eyes, “I knew you’d argue with me–”

“Yeah, I’m going to argue with you! What are you talking about? Did I fuck something up? Did something come up? Just talk to me before you–”

“You didn’t fuck something up, you just–”

“I just what?” he interrupted,he couldn’t help it. He felt like she’d just upended a table in front of him and kept sitting there as glasses shattered and books bent and ripped. She sounded so calm and sure –she was always a calm person but not about something like this. She was so full of feeling and passion too. About him!

“You just– you’re too busy!” she sighed. “It’s not your fault! I’m too busy too! We don’t have the time and–”

“Ah, ok ok.” He leapt to his feet and paced as much as he could in the clutter. “I know, I was just gone for too fucking long, but I’ll only be in Busan for a few days. I can make more time for you–”

She stood and caught his hand. “No. You can’t.”

“Yes I can– hey, you want to come to Japan with me next month? I can take you, I can make it happen–”

“Slow down, baby,” she sighed, and caught his other hand, and finally her frown looked sincere. 

Finally he believed what she was saying. She had that look, like she knew he was going to try to talk her into his way of thinking like he always did, and like this was one of those times it wasn’t going to be possible.  

“Why are you… why are you doing this?”

“I don’t want you to make more time for me,” she said quietly. 

“So what, you don’t even love me or–”

“Please don’t be like this.”

“Like what, Sam? Upset? Upset you’re dumping me for no good reason–”

“I have my reasons!”

“Like what? Tell me what I fucked up and I’ll fix it, it’s not that big a deal– don’t I deserve the chance to–” He broke off and turned away from her, pulling his hands away. Holding hands felt stupid and childish right now. He wasn’t a child. His throat hurt, like words were piling up, swelling, scratching, too many to get out and he was going to choke on them. It just didn’t make sense. “You didn’t even tell me anything was wrong and now you– if you called me on tour I could have– I could have come home and–” 

He couldn’t have come home from tour just because his girlfriend was upset. They both knew that, and he appreciated she didn’t call his bluff now.

She just shook her head. “I”m sorry. I’m really sorry… to be honest, I didn’t even think you would get this upset–”

“What are you talking about, Sam? You know I love you–”

“Yeah, I know you say the words. I know you say that you do. I know you, like, check the boxes to be with me and you make an effort and whatever but it’s just…”

“Sam. Come on. You don’t mean that… you know I– baby.” He held his hands out to her. He took it a step further, brushing his fingers against her arms. He couldn’t believe she’d say something like that. They were so easy together! Everything had been so easy until this moment, really. Sure, they fought or got busy sometimes, but then they fucked and spent time together and it was all good again. “I love you.”

“I believe you. I don’t know, you’re doing that thing again where you get me all twisted up with words,” she sighed and pulled away from his grasp. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s not because of this or that, it’s not a specific thing, it’s just… it’s over. I need my time and my energy and myself back. I don’t have time for a relationship–”

“--for me–”

“And you don’t either and… and it’s just gotten stale–”

“How can you say that? Two days ago, you thought it was stale? A week ago when I went to dinner with you and your mom—”

“Yes!”

“No. No, I don’t believe you. You’re just saying whatever now, you’re making excuses. You never said anything, you never had any complaints–”

“Yes I did but you didn’t hear them!” she suddenly shouted. “Over your own thoughts! Your brain– I admire the way your brain works so much but it’s so loud. It’s too loud for our relationship!”

“What? My brain?!”

“It’s always going going going and the only way to make you stop is literally for like the two minutes of an orgasm and then you’re rolling over writing shit down on your phone–”

“Ok, sorry, so I’ll leave my phone out–”

“No, you won’t,” she said, and covered her face. “You won’t and I don’t want you to. I’m not saying you need to change. I’m saying that we have had a great time and I treasure my time as your girlfriend, but I’m ready to be something else now.”

“Something else…?”

“Just… yeah, not that anymore. I’m sorry. I didn’t think this would be such a surprise to you…”

“How could this not be a surprise, Sam?! You’re making such a mistake with this. I can’t believe this– it just doesn’t make sense and I believe, I really believe you’re going to realize that as soon as I leave. Do you understand what you’re throwing away right now?”

“Yes.”

“Obviously I can’t say anything to change your mind,” he continued ahead as if he hadn’t heard that. “But if… if you love me even a fraction as much as I love you then…”

“I don’t know. Maybe I loved you more, maybe you loved me more, but…it doesn’t really matter…”

“It does matter! It fucking matters!” he cried. His breathing had caught up with his heart rate. He was overly hot now, crowded in her cramped apartment. His mind raced, trying to make sense of this. It was so out of fucking left field. Two days ago she’d been sitting in his lap right over there as he played her his latest and then she showed him some things she’d been working on! He’d rubbed her ass until she turned around on his lap and they’d taken things to the bedroom not long after. Stale?! 

“I thought you liked my…,” he said because she hadn’t said anything. He’d been going to say brain because she had, but it sounded stupid. “My passion. My commitment.”

“I admire you so fucking much but…”

“But what? Is there someone else or–”

“What a shitty question–”

“It just doesn’t make sense!”

“It doesn’t have to make sense to you. I’m sorry but you don’t get to control everything, especially not me. If you were paying more attention, this wouldn’t be such a shock to you–”

“What are you talking about? I’m always paying attention!” 

“Yeah, to everything in the whole world. It’s… look, I’m sorry. I really am. I’m sorry to leave you hurting when you have so much going on, but there’s never a good time for this. Trust me, it hurts me too, but I’m sure about this. I’m ready for the next chapter of my life and… and you’re not in it”

“Goddamnit,” he scoffed. “That’s… that’s a thing to say to somebody.” He paced away, and when he turned back, nearly fell into the chasm between them. He could practically look down and see it, this wide gulf that had not been there an hour before. She said it was, but it wasn’t!

Her saying all this, suddenly doing all this, it didn’t make any sense to him. He thought she must have met someone else. Even if it hadn’t gone anywhere yet, because he didn’t think she was that kind of woman– but he hadn’t thought she was this kind either. To just break up with him without warning. To not let him fix things. To just be done, not even give him a say in the matter, as if he was just nothing, nobody to her, as if he hadn’t twisted himself into knots for months now to make sure she had enough of his time and attention. 

And it still wasn’t enough? He would try anything to make their relationship work, and apparently she wouldn’t.

“Sam.” He grew still, but his heart thudded so painfully hard in his chest his body swayed. Despite all the unreal things she was saying, it was still her, wasn’t it? He knew that face. He’d known her for so long. He’d felt so comfortable and easy with her. She understood him in a way he didn’t feel like any girlfriend had before. Not that he was thinking too far down the road or anything, but he’d thought they could get there. He’d felt like he could be accepted by her, with all his flaws and all the pressure and all the performance for the world. He could be himself to her. He thought he’d done it right this time.

“Sam, please.”

“I’m sorry. I think you should go now. We can… we can figure out how to trade our stuff back later.”

“Sam–”

“You can’t talk us out of this one, Namjoon, I’m sorry. Please go.”

Namjoon hesitated a moment longer, but he had some pride as a man. He couldn’t stand for a woman to beg him to leave. He gathered what dignity he had left and didn’t look back. He paused just long enough to wrestle the key to her apartment off his key ring and drop it on her counter because he needed some final act to believe this was actually a thing that had happened. The click of it was insignificant. It felt like it should be louder. Even her door shut too quietly behind him, a gentle whoosh instead of a slam.

He decided to walk, even though it was over an hour from her place to the dorm. It was the last place he wanted to be right now but he couldn’t think of going anywhere else. He’d left it hours ago a happy man with a girlfriend and now came back to it as a lonely, confused drifter.

To be sure it had really just happened, he checked his key ring and confirmed the key behind.

Sam had really just dumped him.

It didn’t make any fucking sense.

He headed straight for his room inside and had the misfortune of not making it undetected. Jungkook, stepping out of the bathroom, gave him a surprised look. 

“We didn’t order you any food,” he said. “I thought you went to Sam’s.”

Jungkook, who had gone through his own nasty breakup several months ago, was finally doing better. Shockingly better. He’d acted like his world was ending when he and that awful Ji-yu ended things. Namjoon had done his best to be sympathetic but she was such an obvious piece of work, good fucking riddance, so he wasn’t sure he’d done a good job of it. It had been hard to see Jungkook so broken up over someone who didn’t deserve a minute of his time. And also confusing. Many times, he’d wondered how Jungkook could possibly have thought Ji-yu was a good girlfriend for him and that they’d have some long romance together. She had been a scheming, controlling, manipulative b–

Well, it looked like he, Namjoon, was as stupid as Jungkook had been, because he’d thought the same fucking thing about Sam. Not that Sam was toxic or terrible or anything like Ji-yu. But… but she’d still dumped his ass for reasons that didn’t make any fucking sense. She hadn’t even given him a chance to fix it. She must have met someone new, right? Which would mean maybe she wasn’t as great as Namjoon had thought–

But how could she not be? He couldn’t think that. Sam was amazing. Funny and talented and passionate and laid back in all the right ways. Driven. Curious. She’d give him shit when he needed it, and support when he needed that, and space when he needed that. How many times had he thought to himself how easy it was to be with Sam, like they were really perfect together? And apparently she hadn’t been thinking the same thing…

“Hyung?”

“Well Sam just dumped my ass so… not really, you know, hungry right now,” Namjoon said, and clapped Jungkook on the shoulder. 

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah. So I don’t fucking know–”

“Huh? Why? I thought–”

“Fuck  if I know,” he said and liked how angry he sounded. He appreciated Jungkook’s confusion. “Fuck if I know what just happened.”

“Uh…”

Namjoon just shook his head and walked away with a noise of annoyance. Yeah. Yeah, he was pissed! How could she do that to him? He might not be winning awards as a boyfriend but he had done his best and really worked to be there for her and not let his career interfere too much. She of all people had known what she was getting into dating him because she was in the industry too! What was this next chapter of her life anyway, and why didn’t she want him in it? He wanted her in his next chapter!

He closed his bedroom door before Jungkook could follow him or send anyone else. He didn’t want to have to explain it to anyone. If you loved someone, you didn’t just dump them out of the blue. She’d said she loved him. Was she lying? Did her feelings change? Hadn’t she been happy? She’d always seemed happy. Even three days ago, she’d seemed happy! 

Namjoon flopped backwards on his bed and just stared at the ceiling, waiting for tears to wash over him. He was sad. Very sad! His girlfriend had just dumped him. But it wasn’t real in his heart yet, he knew that; his mind was still turning this new thing around and around, trying to figure it out because it conflicted with everything he thought he knew about Sam and his relationship.

He stared at the ceiling and waited for the tears to come. Sam. Sam had just dumped him.

He felt like crying. He wanted to cry. But the truth kept slipping through his fingers, and he couldn’t cry about something he couldn’t hold, that’s how he felt. 

Besides, any minute now, she was going to text him and admit she’d felt instantly sick with regret. She hadn’t meant for this to happen. She realized her mistake, she should have talked to him if she had concerns. Could he forgive her?

He’d think about it…

He could forgive her.

This was Sam. He was Nam. Of course he could forgive her. He loved her. She could make mistakes. He could make mistakes. This was them.

His phone lay dark on the mattress beside him. No notifications. No messages. No instant regrets.

“Don’t do this to me, Sam, don’t do this, it’s a mistake,” he whispered, as if she’d hear it. He crossed his arms over his face. He tried to sort through the things she’d said again, figure out what he had missed, but the words drifted up and away. His fingertips only brushed that one thing she’d said about not wanting him in her next chapter.

Why couldn’t he cry?! His girlfriend had just dumped him. He should cry! Jungkook had cried buckets over worthless Ji-yu. Yoongi had shed a few tears in front of Namjoon after his last relationship ended. Hoseok had done the whole ice cream, tissue box, wine bit when he and Se-ri ended even though he’d been the one to end it!

But he didn’t feel like crying. He felt like staring at the ceiling until it changed back to being untrue. He felt like turning into a rock that had no thoughts or feelings and could just get worn down by the sands of time. 

He felt nothing. Nothing. Empty. What was wrong with him?! Who felt nothing after they got dumped–

He sat upright. What if… what if she’d broken his heart so quickly and completely that he couldn’t feel anything anymore? How was he going to write?! How was he going to compose?! How was he–

No. No no no. This was still all a mistake, he was sure of it. She’d make it a night without him and he could make it a night without her, no problem. She’d text him in the morning and if she didn’t, he’d send her a text tomorrow night to check on her. Maybe she was in her own head, stressed about her own thing. That was fine. He could be cool about it, if she just needed a little space. 

Tomorrow. Tomorrow everything would be fine. He’d write a song about this night later, when he felt better, when he felt things again. 

Being in his own studio was suffocating right now. The pressure to produce was driving him crazy, because he couldn’t. It felt like a glass wall had appeared overnight, and when he reached for any creativity or muse or even just to fucking listen and enjoy things he’d already done, his hand bounced back. He was tired and no amount of sleep gave him the energy to sit in that chair. Instead anger bubbled over.

He didn’t want to give Sam credit for blocking his muse, though he was smart enough to know they were connected. He hadn’t been able to listen to that song he’d shared with her days before; it sounded like trash now, and he was convinced it had been a turning point for her. She’d hated it so much she dumped his ass. 

He ought to be in his studio but instead he wandered over to Yoongi’s and knocked. 

“Yeah, come in, Namjoon!” came the muffled response. Namjoon didn’t knock any differently than anyone else, he didn’t know how Yoongi always knew it was him. 

“Gah, how do you work in this cave?” Namjoon complained as he stepped into the small dark studio lit only by a couple purple lamps on either side of the desk. Yoongi pointed over his shoulder to the light switch. Namjoon didn’t suppress the groan mirrored in Yoongi’s squinted eyes at the harsh overheads 

“Better?”

“No,” Namjoon grunted, and turned them back off. “Damn, we really got to do something about our studios. They’re shit.”

“I don’t mind the dark,” Yoongi shrugged.

“And we need better chairs,” Namjoon added. He slumped into a fucking folding chair against the back wall. Yoongi didn’t often want people in his studio anyway, which was obvious; Namjoon at least had two small upholstered chairs to encourage collaboration. The foam seat of this one was well worn, mostly by his own ass.

“Maybe one of those lounge couches?”

“You mean like in a therapist's office?”

“Yeah.” Yoongi’s smile emphasized the teasing. Namjoon sighed heavily as Yoongi pressed, “Still stuck?”

“No… yeah…”

“It’ll come back,” Yoongi reassured him. How many times over the year had Yoongi reassured him of that? And vice versa. Two workaholics, they understood that creative fear that came from feeling the waters start to dry. Yoongi appeared to handle it better, but maybe because he shut down and retreated, whereas Namjoon spun up. Unable to work? Push harder. And harder. And harder until something terrible eked out he could then be dissatisfied with and fuel his panic even worse. Until someone –usually Yoongi, but sometimes one of the other producers– took his panic by the horns and reigned him in.

“Maybe…”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Yoongi wasn’t the first friend to ask that. Namjoon did his best not to burden others with his feelings but he wasn’t good at hiding things from those close to him. His feelings leaked through –as anger, he’d been told. Even when what he was really feeling was sad or frustrated or hurt, he seemed angry thanks to the way he tried to clamp it down. 

Well, he was angry too though! Sam shouldn’t have fucking dumped him! She’d passed his stuff back to him through a mutual friend. Coward.

“Not really,” Namjoon sighed. He’d already had a drunk evening venting about it to Yoongi. And to Hoseok. He didn’t feel like he could vent to any of his other friends, many of whom were also friends with Sam. If he was a shit about their breakup to shared friends, she wouldn’t realize her mistake and call him. 

It had been weeks now. She had not realized her mistake and called him. He had mostly lost hope but there was still that little thread of possibility…

No. No, it was over. She wasn’t coming back. And because Namjoon had been so happy and content, he had never braced for the wave of loneliness that hit him in her wake. He regretted it now. He regretted letting himself get so close and comfortable with her. He should have known better. Things couldn’t last for him –because of his career, because of his needs, because of him.

“Have you written about it yet?”

Namjoon made a noise of frustration that Yoongi could misunderstand his stress so badly. “No. I can’t be objective about it yet, you know? I’m just–”

“Yeah, who says you have to be objective? Why would you need to be objective about your own breakup?”

“Well…”

“It’s your own feelings. You just have to be honest. You don’t need me to tell you that.” Yoongi dragged a pencil mindlessly across the desk, bouncing the eraser and then flipping it over. Namjoon wondered if he’d interrupted something. But if he had, usually Yoongi would just tell him to come back later. 

“Well if I’m honest, maybe I’m going to die alone.”

“No, at least we’ll still be making music together.”

That made Namjoon smile. A sincere smile, infrequent these days.

“Yeah, I guess we will… still making music about– not about broken hearts,” he sighed. “It’s old. It’s… it’s already done. It’s trite. I don’t have anything new to say. I know, everyone gets their hearts broken, everyone gets dumped, I’m not special and Sam isn’t special, we just did the thing that always happens, that’s always going to happen.”

“Yeah that’s why there are so many songs about it,” Yoongi agreed. “Are you listening to yourself?”

“I’m tired of listening to myself.”

“Write, don’t write, it doesn’t matter. Just write some bad stuff and decide later if it’s any good. Don’t write objectively; we’ll be objective when we’re deciding what goes on an album. Or don’t write and just go for a hike. You’re just constipated. You’ll shit our lyrics eventually, don’t push so hard.”

“Yeah… I know.” He did know. He’d said all these same encouragements to everyone when they went through breakups. If if helped them as much as it helped him, he didn’t understand why they hadn’t all told him to fuck off.

“There’s no shortcut. It’s just time.”

“Well I’m ready to move on.”

“In your brain. Hearts take longer.”

“You’re profound, hyung,” Namjoon teased. Yoongi rolled his eyes and set the pencil down. 

“Profoundly tired.”

“Me too.” A beat of silence. “I still haven’t cried,” Namjoon blurted out. “That’s weird, right? I always cried before when I broke up. Maybe there’s something wrong with me.”

“You don’t have to cry.”

“I’m just really mad about it,” he said, and stood and ran his hand through his hair because he really ought to leave Yoongi alone. He did not want to talk about this. “And it’s like… as long as I hold onto that anger, the breakup didn’t really happen. Anger is still a connection. Crying, it’s the loss of that. Being sad because of all the– because she’s not in my life anymore– and she’s fine. Right? She’s not thinking about this all day every day like I am, she’s just doing her own thing. She’s the one who made this choice and I’m the one stuck dealing with it so much longer… Sorry,” he broke off. “The thing is, Sam’s the one I’d want to talk to.”

“Well, what do you think she’d say?”

“I don’t know, she wasn’t good at advice.”

“What would you tell her then?”

“Uh… I don’t know. It’s time to live for yourself. Don’t love someone so much that you lose so much of yourself when they leave you. Love yourself more–”

“You’re thinking in song lyrics,” Yoongi argued. “You’re already censoring yourself.”

“Just get used to loneliness,” he sighed. “No one wants to hear a song about that. I just can’t imagine doing this again, you know? I don’t have time for– I thought it was worth it to be close to her, but then she can just fuck me over like that… this is messing up my work, my sleep, my–”

“Yeah, it sucks. But stop thinking about who’s listening to the song. Just write your words.”

“What, that I’m fucking lonely? And the person I thought understood me and was there for me just cut loose without any fucking warning–”

“Yeah, sounds good. Go write it down.” Yoongi held the pencil out to him. “You use one of these, don’t you? Technophobe?”

Namjoon scowled at him. And took the pencil. 

“I’m fucking lonely,” he pretended to write in the air.

“Yeah, it’s perfect. Just start with that. Tell me when you’re ready to leave today, we can get a beer together tonight or something.”

Namjoon huffed. He’d come in here to complain that he couldn’t and didn’t want to work, and instead Yoongi was sending him back to do just that. He was just going to get angrier if he started writing about it though. Angrier and angrier until he flashed and burned and… and then what would be left beneath that? A sad, shriveled, burnt up little Namjoon.

He didn’t want to face the sadness. It was so much cozier to be angry and in denial and confused and defensive. The sadness… nah, he didn’t want that. He didn’t want to face that alone. He’d thought he didn’t need to be alone once he started dating Sam –even though she hadn’t understood everything in his life, but it had been better. And now it was worse.

“OK, yeah. Let’s get a beer later,” Namjoon agreed. He’d write, he’d see what came out, and he’d surface for beer with Yoongi later. Even if he started to feel sad, he’d go for beers. And if the lyrics that poured out of him were too shitty or too mean or too pathetic, they’d never go further than his own eyes. He’d literally burn the papers. 

He locked the door on his studio, dimmed the shitty lighting, and opened up a notebook, afraid of what might come out but trusting the life raft of a beer with Yoongi later.

Maybe he was never going to have a wife or a long-lasting girlfriend or a family but he’d always have his members, right?

God, was that pathetic? Or great? Some people didn’t even have that… but probably everyone knew what it was like to feel betrayed by your own dreams and ambitions and trust. Probably everyone knew what it was like to wish you could escape your own feelings.

He sharpened the pencil Yoongi had given him and peeked beneath the lid of his heart and, factually true or not, the words ran like water from his pencil. He didn’t write about loneliness yet though. He wrote his anger, his disillusionment, his loss.

His phone lit up with the time.

Never again he scrawled as he set his pencil down at the knock on his studio door. Time for drinks with Yoongi, who cared enough to come and get him.

Things change people change everything change... You gotta admit it

Don't you get it still

Someday a great grief will come for you

And then you'll know it too

You can't love someone like I do

That's all I can say to you - Change Pt. 2

See Secret Song Series Masterlist for main series and for more RM: Mono to Stereo content.

[trans-xianxian]

sage! also orchid and mahonia. btw do you have a chenqing keychain charm or am I thinking of someone else?

sage ⇢ what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?:

I think that music is the kind of art that touches my soul the most, tho visual art is probably what inspires my Own visual art the most and writing like poetry and stories in any form can have profound lasting affects myself as a person (like there's characters that I will just always take with me forever and who helped me through times in my life as silly as that sounds) and writing is one of the ways I am most easily able to get things out of me and express specific emotions and experiences but there's nothing that makes me feel quite like music does and there's nothing that connects me to other ppl like music does. music is one of the things that connects me most to one of my best friends and is such a special cornerstone of our relationship. there is nothing in the world like creating music w other ppl even if you are just singing in the kitchen with your best friend. there's that one quote abt humans always making music and how in the bad times we will be singing about the bad times and like yeah. Yeah. my mom always played a lot of music growing up and my dad used to play the guitar w me and my sister sang me to sleep when I was little so I just think it's always been a big part of my life and I think choir is one of the only reasons I got through middle school lmao. anyway there's just nothing like hearing a song and it filling your whole body hope this helps

orchid ⇢ what’s a song you consider to be perfect?:

CANDY BY THE BLASTING COMPANY it is such a beautiful song both lyrically, instrumentally, and melody wise. I still get chills every time I listen to it and everyone I've ever shown it to regardless of their usual music taste has thought it was beautiful. the ending especially makes me akshmcuakshyaijsj. its also really fun and lovely to sing! their other song old summer reckoning is very beautiful as well (it reminds me of wei wuxian and wen qing lmao). they're the band that did the music for over the garden wall if you ever watched it!

mahonia ⇢ what place, thing, activity inspires you most and how do you express yourself when it does?:

well obviously stories inspire me to make things.. I make my little drawings and I write my little posts about my favorite little guys. but one of the driving forces for me to make art Not related to media is just experiencing a strong emotion esp about a specific experience or person and I like to express it w poetry and visual art and combining those two things when I can. I made this piece after one of my rats died (I was having an already terrible week but I don't remember why lmao) and after coming to the vet with me my best friend came back to my apartment and helped me clean my disgusting room and washed all of my dishes for me and it was just such a profound act of love I had to get it out of my body. I have another poem I wrote that I haven't made art for yet after my dad took care of me after top surgery. I guess rlly what inspires me most is love for other ppl and things as cheesy as that sounds

also yes I do have a chenqing keychain!! it's a tiny replica of the flute and then I got a Different keychain that was the little charm on it and put them together hehe

[arasokanbina]

Long thought post.

Tldr: Good song and MV. Graphics are nice but somewhat disappointed at how safe it is.

Firstly I quite like the fact that the group is only four members because if it got bigger than that I don't think that it would have any good chance at lasting because of the costs of the cg.

I've only listened to the song once whilst I watched the MV and it is in my head already. That being said I'm a bit disappointed, let me elaborate.

So even from the promotional pictures, mainly the box of Pandora's box was very aespa-esque. Which is fine, kpop is notorious for 'heavy' inspiration to put it politely so it didn't bother me but it did set the tone of what to aexpect (yes lame pun lol). For example Aespa's ae versions look like cheaper LoL K/DA models, which is jarring at times but because they aren't all of aespa it doesn't have a negative impact. Btw not saying I hate ae's, I especially love Naevis, but as I've mentioned (I think) before, I wish they had a different art direction.

I will say MAVE'S models are a lot better in every way which is refreshing. Kind of like Saejin from SUPERKIND but though his model is good it's also quite static. Then again they are a smaller company so it's understandable but overall I'm happy with the graphics.

My personal taste wishes that they looked more fantastical. Maybe bigger eyes, coloured hair and that high fantasy goes into the music too which I'll get into later. The reason why I wish it was more OTT, is because I'm extra but mainly because it can come across as a gimmick. Like they're just non tired robots doing the same thing as real people can do but are limited by their coding. Like just do the same MV but with a green screen and it might even be cooler with real people.

Anyway I don't have an issue with AI. I know the waters are muddy but I'm a gamer, and every year graphics get closer to looking human. Which is fascinating and terrifying.

But for me as long as you can tell its not real like I guess with more anime styles and etc look I'm quite happy. I think if they also had a less human look it would give more immersion to them in the fact that in 5-10 years they could look dated and not in a good way. Like with any experimental media you either have aged well or poorly. Only media with a uniqueness or charm can both be aged well and poorly at the same time. Like cult and campy content.

Now onto the song. I do like it because well it's in my head after one listen and I've been typing this just after I watched the MV! But as I've said (in a way) it's just okay. Like when I hear 'New GG AI' my mind gets excited for the future. This MV was very much now future. So it's cool and pretty but yawningly safe.

Rather than an aespa, K/DA combo, I'd have loved a Dreamcatcher, LOONA, onlyoneof combo. Dystopian, high fantasy and allure.

Still for a debut it was good even though the down dance move was way too close to black mamba for my liking. And that's the only issue I have. Like yeah of course with everything art/dance moves are not only for one group or person but you can tell when it's ahem 'heavily inspired'.

I'd also love if they grow a stronger identity than just mix of aespa and K/DA. Like K/DA is great because its has Queen Soyeon and Miyeon with other great artists and a world already built to steer their vision and on Aespa's side they have a growing world with trained idols that bring that excitement to the real stage. Both have amazing music. Mave needs to get a signature visual and sound to push them into a truly innovate group.

Still if the company can keep up with the graphics, music and potential world building if any I'm interested. As long as its not we are being hacked by a giant spider or something and buy 'our bit coins for photocards' or some nonsense haha.

Lastly if they could keep the majority or merch online that would be awesome and hopefully they are paying the voices behind the members a good salary. The cg idols wouldn't be alive without their human voices after all.

🗒Notes: As usual I might add more later and there is probably some spelling and grammar mistakes.