#it was delicious too! I can still season things and use the knowledge of cooking I have to enhance it but I don't have to uh. torture mysel

[thornsent]

took y'alls advice + bought premade things to make life easier when I went grocery shopping.

swedish meatballs took maybe 20 minutes instead of the probably 3 hours it would've taken otherwise. I think my neurosis about having to make everything from scratch to save as much money as possible was killing me, actually

[kuma829]

Happiness in Cooking (Adonis FS2 4 star story)

From today and onwards, I’m the lord of the hotpot… ♪

Cast: Adonis, Tetora, Izumi, Yuzuru

Author: Yuumasu

Season: Summer

Location: Kitchen

Proofed by: Gelyan

Tetora: Ooh, it’s Otogari-senpai! Ossu!

It’s such a coincidence to see ya here~! Are ya here to get some cooking done?

Adonis: Ah, yes. You can cook here to your heart’s content, so I can eat as much meat as I want to. What about you, Nagumo?

Tetora: You’re asking about me? I was hungry, so I came here to make some cup ramen.

Adonis: Cup ramen, huh…? It’s easy to make, but it’s not very nutritious. 

I’ll cook for you, too. You’re a growing boy, so you need to eat meat.

Tetora: Is it really okay for you to treat me like this? Aww man, let’s go!

I’d feel bad if I’m just sitting and watching ya, so I’m gonna help too!

I’ll do whatever I can~♪ I’m not the same guy who blew up that one oven before…☆

Adonis: You blew up an oven? I feel like you’d need to be particularly skilled to accomplish something like that.

Izumi: What’s this? Nagumo and Otogari, what are you doing here? —Well, it’s a kitchen, so I guess you must be cooking.

Ah, what are you making? Perhaps it’s shogayaki?

Adonis: I haven’t decided yet, but why shogayaki?

…Aah, is it because of that cooking contest from before?*

Izumi: That’s right. Only those who are confident in their cooking ability would enter a contest, but you ended up entering one so recklessly with shogayaki as your main dish..

It’s a simple dish, that only requires dipping it in some tare sauce and letting it grill, yet you still caused such a scene, huh?  You gave me such a hard time, didn’t you, Nagumo?

Tetora: Ossu! Thanks for helping me back then.

(Mumbles) But back then, wasn’t Sena-senpai the one who got involved first…?

Izumi: What did you say?

Tetora: Er, it was nothing!

Yuzuru: Thank you for your patience, Sena-sama. I have brought some ingredients, so—hmm?

Adonis: Fushimi? Are you here to cook?

…The box is full of vegetables.

Izumi: Vegetables are essential if I want something low calorie, nutrient rich, great for the skin, and delicious. Perhaps I’m asking for too much?

Yuzuru: Being in “Niki’s Kitchen,” Sena-sama’s goal is to cook for his figure, while I’m learning to cook for the young master’s sake.

We had a mutual understanding, so we shared our ideas with each other and tried to create the ideal nutritional diet.

Shall we begin, then? Sena-sama, I look forward to working together with you.

Tetora: Woah, there’s all sorts of vegetables I’ve never seen before..

It looks like they’re giving it their all, c’mon we can’t lose!

…Otogari-senpai? What’s with the frown?

Adonis: …Will they only eat vegetables?

Meat has as much nutritious value as vegetables. I wish they would eat it…

Tetora: Aah, is that it~?

If you don’t know what to make, how about you make a dish they both want to eat?

Like, a dish that uses a bunch of vegetables and meat!

Adonis: Ah… I see… Good idea.

But, my culinary repertoire is limited. I only have general knowledge, like how to grill skewers, or boiling things in a pot.

I don’t have the skill to come up with ideas like Sena-senpai and Fushimi. Let me go over to the book room and get a cookbook.

Tetora: …Or you could search it up on your phone? …Hm?

Ah! I have a great idea! Spare me a second, will ya? Whisper whisper

Adonis: Hm. I guess I could do that.

—Sena-senpai, Fushimi, we have something.

If you don’t have a recipe yet, then why not combine forces and cook together with us?

(After a while)

Tetora: Woah! It’s boiling like some cauldron in hell~

Adonis: Oh, has Nagumo seen a cauldron in hell?

Tetora: What, no way! It was just an example!

Izumi: I thought about a lot of things to make, but I never thought about making mizutaki.

Yuzuru: Fufu, it’s not unexpected. It’s perfect for this cold weather.

Adonis: Mhm. Warming up your body will increase your basal metabolism, which will make it easier for you to burn calories. Letting the vegetables simmer will also let you consume plenty of them.

And most importantly, this chicken is delicious. It’s a dish that sparks joy and satisfies all of us.

Nagumo, how did you know so much about mizutaki?

Tetora: During our “SHIN” activities, I remember taichou making it. It was popular among us circle members because you could eat a lot of vegetables and meat at the same time ☆.

Adonis: Is that so? I’ll have to thank Kiryuu-senpai later.

…Hm? Sena-senpai, it looks like you’re only eating vegetables?

Izumi: It’s not just vegetables, there’s soup too.

Adonis: Soup is a drink.

Sure, it’s true broth that’s been extracted from boiled meat can be beneficial to the skin, but without the amino acids found in meat, you miss out on the full health benefits.

Izumi: What’s all this? You know so much about this?

Adonis: I like meat. When you like something, it’s only natural to become familiar with it, right?

Izumi: I see. Well, I too know a lot about my beloved Yuu-kun.

Adonis: Mhm. So, that’s why you should eat meat.

Izumi: What do you mean by “that’s why?”

Alright, alright. If you insist, I’ll go ahead and eat a bit.

…Hm… Delicious.

Adonis: Heh, I’m glad.

Meat is good for you. It makes people smile.

Okay, I’ll go and get the biggest piece for Sena-senpai.

Izumi: Hey, aren’t you being too considerate?

Yuzuru: Fufu, you’re like the lord of the hotpot.

Adonis: The lord of the hotpot? I don’t understand, but it sounds like a title straight out of a period drama, doesn’t it? I like it.

From today and onwards, I’m the lord of the hotpot… ♪

/

The contest Izumi and Adonis are referring to at the start is a reference to the scout Cooking! 

[nyxstyxsstuff]

This weekend I decided to clean up my kitchen. While doing so I found a bunch of ingredients that were about to go bad and decided to cook/experiment with them.

First I made these things as a snack. I think they have a name from some country I've never been too, but I wouldn't know. I just had some potatoes that were about to go soft and some cheese that was about to expire and the vague knowledge I had seen someone make potatoes into a dough online at some point. I boiled the potatoes, seasoned them lightly, added some flour and corn starch to make it into a dough, and filled it with mozzarella. Then I just fried it and put some green onions on top because they were starting to wilt and needed to be eaten too. Idk what the exact measurements for any of the ingredients were. I just used three potatoes and everything else was guess work. Cooking is an experience.

This one was a simple fried chicken recipe. I made a batter out of cake flour and an egg (about one or two tablespoons of flour to one egg). I dredged the chicken in the batter before coating it in panko bread crumbs. I forgot to add salt and pepper to the batter but throwing some on top before it cooled worked just fine. It was super juicy, delicious, and simple to make!

Lastly was a dessert. I found a loaf of bread that had gone stale and I still had some eggs that needed to be used so bread pudding was the obvious choice. My dad used to make this for me when I was a teenager so I knew the basics. Cubed bread in a buttered baking dish, a simple custard poured overtop, and bake at 350°F until the top is golden brown. I used an online recipe since sadly my dad's recipe was lost, but the smells alone brought back nostalgia. I'll link the recipe below in case anyone wants to make it. Don't let the ingredient list fool you though. While brioche or other sweet breads are ideal, any bread will do. Mine was sourdough.

With that my kitchen is mostly clear of nearly expired food. There are some tomatoes that I'll probably make into pasta for tomorrow's dinner, but I have to tackle the canned goods before that's decided. Sometimes the easiest way to tackle food waste is to just see what throwing two things together will make.

[procyongaaay]

Also what you eat is way more important than how much! Fast foods and highly processed foods are often calorie dense but nutrient poor, and you have to eat way more calories than your body needs to get the nutrients you need. Even with having sweets multiple times a week, if they're home made, you're still at a lower calorie count than someone who eats similar foods and amounts but in more processed forms. If you can get access to more nutrient rich foods and make as much of it yourself, you can satisfy yourself far easier and not have to overeat calorie wise to get nutrients

I used to be anorexic as a teen and rapidly lost a lot of weight, counted calories and barely ate and was very malnourished. I had no energy at all but everyone told me how good I looked and the worse I felt the more it happened and it ended up pissing me off enough that I said fuck those beauty standards, this is dumb, I feel like I'm dying. I don't need to die to be pretty, I just need to feel better. Once I started getting healthier and gaining a healthier relationship with food, I slowly got back up to a healthier weight and guess what! I learned intuitive eating and I've had a stable weight for more than 10 years. (no more than +/- 10lbs, usually seasonal since in winter my metabolism naturally slows down, and gained a couple more after a pregnancy that ended in miscarriage and body's hormones were wack for a bit, and as were coming into spring I'm already loosing it again)

A big part of my journey was learning I can make food that's delicious and amazing really easily at home, and expanding my knowledge of how cooking works so I never have to use a recipie for cooking (baking is different) so I never get bored of the same dish over and over again. Food can be good and exciting and full of joy! Even it's creation can be a joy when you're allowing yourself creativity. I even worked as a special events private chef (basically an in-house caterer) for several years before my disability caught up with me, and that was a fantastic learning experience too.

And honestly even with my disability catching up to me and slowly loosing foods I can eat due to allergies and GI problems, I can still approach food with joy and creativity because of those experiences. I can figure out new ways to make good food with limited ingredients so I don't have to miss out on a thing. It helps that I can access alternatives easily here (things like lactose free milks and cheeses, pectin free jams, nut butter alternatives, and even gluten free options)

And tbh I'm glad I figured all that out before my symptoms started to get bad. Had they started to get bad while I was still my skinny little scared of food self? Idk that I'd have been here tbh. A good relationship with food has literally saved my life, so I will scream the virtues of learning to make your own food and be creative and find what brings you joy in cooking.

I could also go on and on about not being scared of salt, sugar, and fats since those are all flavour enhancers but there's a lot of books written on the topic and if you want further research read salt fat acid heat or watch the Netflix special of the same name.

we really can’t overstate how damaging it has been to indoctrinate the public with the idea that if they let themselves eat as much as they want, they’ll eat too much. human bodies, when permitted over the long term to eat as much as they want, actually get really, really good at calibrating their hunger and satiety, and will over time eat exactly the right amount for themselves. the common conception of a balanced eater as a minimal or restrained eater is absolutely wrong. balanced eaters eat quite a lot (compared to diet cultural ideas about right intake amounts), and they do so consistently and permanently. healthy, balanced eating isn’t some tightrope walk, it’s a gigantic net of total permission to eat.

[evilprince-puppet-translation]

Home Voice Lines (Aquilegia)

Translation of Aquilegia characters' home voice line

Note:

It is not listed per their relationship level

The voice lines for their interaction with other factions will be on another post since this will be mainly focused on the members within the faction itself

I'll update the list when they add more seasonal voice lines

Claude:

Voice Line 1: I don't actually stay up late all night every day, contrary to what everyone says. My men are such worrywarts that it troubles me.

Voice Line 2: There's nothing like a cup of tea when you're tired. Shall I specially brew one for you?

Morning Voice Line: Good Morning. Do you slept well?

Afternoon Voice Line: It's this hour already? Let's have a tea break. How about meringue cookies?

Night Voice Line: You should rest now for tomorrow. Me? I'll work for a bit longer. I want to finish these up by today.

Seasonal Voice Line (Monsoon): Bored because of the rain? There are still many indoor games and knowledge you can do and learn.

Seasonal Voice Line (Summer 1): You can feel the atmosphere of summer. I think the only one who can handle summer among us is Oscar. Eric looks like he's not good with it.

Seasonal Voice Line (Summer 2): Missions under a blazing sun are life-threatening. Take care of yourself to intake plenty of water. Do you understand?

Halloween: Trick or treats, huh. Have you prepared treats? Or were you hoping for a trick from me?

Seasonal Voice Line (Summer 3): The days are still hot. I'll need to go and check the horses at the stables to see if they're feeling exhausted.

Seasonal Voice Line (Fall): How to spend the nights during fall? Nothing better than reading a book with a cup of tea in your hand. I have to finish my work now too.

Eric:

Voice Line 1: How do I spend my holiday...? I dropped by the library or the book shop. I often read mystery books and the likes.

Voice Line 2: I'm just doing what I can do to my best. I'm not concerned about others' opinion.

Morning Voice Line: Good morning. I've prepared myself to brace the mission for today as well.

Afternoon Voice Line: It's already this time of the day? I wonder if Captain has eaten his lunch properly yet...

Night Voice Line: I still have work I need to do. Just because it's night, I won't excuse myself to relax.

Seasonal Voice Line (Monsoon): The rain just keeps pouring... I need to take good care of my cherished rifle so that it won't rust.

Seasonal Voice Line (Summer 1): I sweated quite a lot. Let's go cool down at the stream. It feels great when you dip your legs in it.

Seasonal Voice Line (Summer 2): It sure is a seething heat... Good health management is also one of my duties. Please make sure to drink plenty of water too.

Halloween: Please control yourself even in Halloween. I'm not playing around, you know.

Seasonal Voice Line (Summer 3): The sunlight is still as scorching as ever. Looks like the autumn is still far away.

Seasonal Voice Line (Fall): I spend more time on my desk as the weather gets colder, I find myself getting into drawing.

Oscar:

Voice Line 1: Yo, what's new? Don't get yourself too worked up, take a breather with Big Bro here.

Voice Line 2: What's your favorite food? I'm thinking of whipping up something for you this time. Don't expect too much on the look though, since it's a guy's cooking.

Morning Voice Line: Morn'. Did you sleep well yesterday?

Afternoon Voice Line: Yawn~, nothing beats the sleepiness after eating a lunch. Now, let's take a short break~

Night Voice Line: I wanna hurry up and complete the mission so I can go drink. How about you too?

Seasonal Voice Line (Monsoon): I don't really feel like doing things when the air is damp~ Let's just blame it all on the rain.

Seasonal Voice Line (Summer 1): I want to go swimming in cold water when it's hot like this. I'll ask the youth to come along too.

Seasonal Voice Line (Summer 2): It's hot! It's a season where the beer tastes delicious after a mission.

Halloween: Trick or Treats! I don't want treats, gimme the booze!

Seasonal Voice Line (Summer 3): The heat still lingers around. The weather should cool off soon, so let's bear with it for a bit longer.

Seasonal Voice Line (Fall): You can't leave out singing and playing the guitar when you're thinking of what's the best to do in long nights. Let me tell ya, my guitar play is pretty popular.

Claude + Eric:

Voice Line 1:

Eric: Captain, would you like some tea? I've also prepared meringue cookies.

Claude: How thoughtful of you, Eric. Sure, I was just craving some.

Voice Line 2:

Claude: About this report, can you submit it by tomorrow morning? Sir Adjutant.

Eric: Of course. Please leave it to me, Captain.

Voice Line 3:

Eric: Staying up late again? Isn't maintaining your own body's health condition one of soldier's responsibilities?

Claude: Oh dear, Eric's eyes cannot be deceived. I need to improve myself better too.

Claude + Oscar:

Voice Line 1:

Claude: Oscar? You still haven't finished writing your report, where do you intend to go?

Oscar: Tch, caught me in the act... Oh, Captain commander. Yeah, yeah, I'll submit the report now.

Voice Line 2:

Oscar: Take some breaks once in a while. It's been a long time since I've seen you relax.

Claude: I've taken rest during spare times. But to have my subordinate worrying about me, it seems that I'm unfit as a commander.

Voice Line 3:

Claude: So you're here, Oscar. Disappearing without permission is a violation of duties regulations.

Oscar: I didn't expect Captain himself to search for me. You don't need to be concerned about me that much, I won't go anywhere.

Eric + Oscar:

Voice Line 1:

Oscar: How's it going? If you wanna spar, I'll be your opponent.

Eric: Yes, please. However, I won't allow you to go easy on me just because of our power differences.

Voice Line 2:

Eric: What should I do to be as strong as you, Sir Oscar...

Oscar: Don't obsess over it like that. That's one of your strong points but to me, that's also your weakness.

Voice Line 3:

Oscar: Hey young man. Will you be alright on the next mission? If you're worried, let Big Bro come with you.

Eric: No need. Please stop treating me like a child.

Group Voice Line:

Claude: I thank you both for your hard work. I'm sorry since we've just returned, but the situation has changed. Would you review the strategy till tomorrow morning?

Eric: Of course, Captain. We'll definitely complete it by tomorrow morning. Let's go, Sir Oscar.

Oscar: Ugh~ Are you serious!? You're really working me to the bone. Jeez... I'll definitely finish it quickly.

[pandoraimperatrix]

caught between goodbye and I love you

DickKory | Pining | Eventual smut | Two shots | Post season 3 AU

Chapter 1: My heart is a sad affair

Nobody could say he didn't have been trying. Well, they could but it wouldn't be true.

Even though Bruce had made sure Dick knew how to attract the female attention, nobody told him what to do when it didn’t work as planned. Or how to stanch the wound.

Hell, Bruce made sure he could seduce anyone that could be seduced. "It is a very useful skill to have in your utility belt, Chum" he said then. But it didn't mean Dick didn’t pray for the sweet release of death back then when he was being forced to have seduction lessons under Alfred's or worse, Selina's tutelage.

He should have payed more attention to when they broke up, not that he’d have learnt something useful. They always got back together. He and Kory on other hand…

Well, been taught how to seduce someone for ulterior motives didn’t mean he knew what to do when his goal was not mission oriented. Usually in a mission, after the seduction part was over, even if he had to date the person for more than one night, he had a script and a clear goal. But what if there was no mission? What if he had hopes instead of goals? What to do without no script to follow? No set of rules to guide him?

And he was especially bad when he genuinely cared, never being able to judge if he was trying too hard or too little, usually finding himself overcome with anxiety which resulted into pushing the object of his affections away in the long run. That happened to Dawn, to Babs, hell, despite being a completely different kind of relationship it almost happened with Rachel and Gar too. Thank goodness his children were way more forgiving.

Since Dawn was gone for good and he and Babs had broke up again after deluding themselves for a whole five minutes that their childhood trauma bonded romance could have a last hurrah. He was back to reality. The depressing reality that he, to his absolute despair, cared for Kory, so much, too much, more than he had thought that he ever could for anyone.

Read on AO3

Despite all his overthinking tendencies, all his overplanning, all his precautions, he really didn’t see that coming. Of course, he was aware he was attracted to her from day one, it was nothing alarming back then, at least in the beginning. It hurt when she told him she needed to find out who she was before it got too serious, but he understood, and it was fine. They had time. And time they had, after their reunion, raising a household together, his physical attraction to her remained, and new set of feelings started breeding from their partnership. Something way more aggravating than the constant desire to fuck her brains off every time she entered the room, something deeper.

It took a while, because he was known for being stubborn as fuck, but he knew that a good detective can’t cherry pick evidences, and eventually, he admitted to himself that he wanted to be with her forever. Which not only was a scary thought by itself, considering how much time he spent running from everything serious and true, but it made his insides twist in fear.

Because nothing that good could last. When the love of you life quite literally fell from heaven, heaven can take her back whenever. And the thought of losing her at any moment pushed his anxieties to the roof. Her behaviour haven’t been exactly helping. Despite of not having anything substantial of proof, Dick could feel something was wrong with her, something that she wouldn't talk about no matter how many times he tried to approach her.

Maybe it was his fault, maybe he put himself in a position in which she felt responsible for his wellbeing but not trustworthy to be relied upon after the mess he had made with Slade and with Jason.

Besides, what claim did he have to demand any clarification from her? They weren't together.

But it still hurt. That feeling of uselessness, of having nothing to offer when she gave so much just being by his side.

They lived in the same house and were currently raising super powered teenagers together, everybody outside their tight circle assumed they were a couple, married even, hell, her sister thought they were together. And Kory hardly flinched when they dined out and the waiter called her “Mrs Grayson”, she joked about it, that also hurt, because it wasn’t true. Yes they used to have sex, and yes he was trying to make his grimaces of pain to look like smiles on regular basis to hide how much he wanted her, but they are not together.

But it wasn't by Dick's choice.

It was Kory's.

And the rejection hurt, especially when he didn’t expect it.

From all his many faults, Dick wasn't that kind of guy, it wasn’t as if he didn’t think that her rejection was impossible or insulting due to some high opinion of himself. But it just didn’t make sense. He wasn't deluding himself, although he sometimes had no choice but doubt, wanting to believe and respect her choice, but when it had such dissonance with her actions…

Because, as much as he sometimes wanted to take the easy way out that his internal self-hatred provided – that he was crazy, pathetic and there was no way in heaven or hell such woman would have feelings for him – Dick had also been trained in reading body language and micro expressions.

Everything about how Kory interacted with him felt like an invitation. Unless he had been suffering from a very serious case of psychosis (again), he couldn’t have been imagining the longing in her gaze. Sometimes, even when he thought she wasn’t in the room, he could feel her eyes in him. And it wasn’t just the hot looks he was used to get from people that only thought he was attractive – even though Kory would give him plenty of those too, his skin had been reaping the benefits of all his ice cold showers. But, sometimes, especially when he was giving attention to their children, or just doing something mundane like reading or meditating, he could feel her watching. A gentle smile on her face, eyes like pools of warmth and endearment. Nobody ever looked at him like that, with such unadulterated fondness.

Or the way she found excuses to touch him. He always loved the feeling of falling, doing unnecessary stunts so he could only feel that special kind of rush. With Kory around to catch him whenever he needed, he had been doing that even more often so he could feel her strong arms around him, and she never denied him.

When they fought enemies, or trained, she always found a way to make skin contact, throwing him at their mark to give him an extra boost, instead of shouting for him to clear away from danger, she’d physically pull him away in very unnecessary and unfortunately fast hugs.

She’d lean on his shoulder for no reason at all, even after her powers returned and she told everyone she was not feeling tired all the time anymore. In the mornings, while they washed the dishes together – since Gar banned them both from cooking – she’d bump him with her hip to make him move out of her way, and her hands always lingered when handing him an utensil.

Kory was always pressing away invisible wrinkles on his clothing, and picking things from his hair, so much he could hear muffled giggles from the children every time she did that.

And how could he have been imagining the way her face lit every time he entered the room, or when someone mentioned his name? He couldn't have made anything like that up. Didn't have the self-esteem necessary, or the self-hatred necessary to imagine such torture.

Dick did wonder, though, if living with a woman that looked like what poets sang about, that had the personality correspondent of the most golden of summer’s day, and flirted with him mercilessly, but yet dismissed every attempt he made to turn their relationship into something romantic was just karma. In the past, he had abused his own good looks and knowledge. Hearts had been broken because of his folly, and now the universe was punishing him or something.

Yeah, right, as if the universe cared that much.

But then, when his bitterness and confusion were not settled at all, and he was getting ready for another night of delicious horrible dreams about the woman that did not want him, something weird happened.

Kory Anders, knocking on his door, with a bottle of tequila, just a few days after he finally asked her out and she destroyed his heart and made a mess of his head by saying no. Not only no, she said she didn’t like him like that. That she loved him as a friend, and didn’t want to make things more complicated.

What a bunch of garbage.

For a fraction of second he wondered what she'd do if he closed the door on her face. But he'd never be able to do that, so, wordlessly, he gave away the space she needed to enter his room.

“Can I help you?” he said when she just stood there, looking everywhere but him, as if his room were a great novelty.

Kory bit her lip and he wanted to die. He didn’t want to believe she did those things out of malice, but sometimes one cannot help but being angry over such carelessness.

“Kory?” he asked in that bitchy impatient way of his.

“I lied,” she finally said in a puff of breath.

“What you mean?” His heart was racing, it couldn’t be. Was he asleep? Most of his dreams began with some sort of flashback of their first night. Terrible, terrible dreams that always ended too soon.

She looked away, searching for something, his heart shrank when swayed her body aside, thinking she was about to leave, but Kory placed the bottle and the cups on his dresser and turned back to him, the look she gave him making his throat feel raw. In two powerful strides she was all over him, firm elegant palms cradling his head as she tilted his face to the angle she wanted for their kiss. It was like if time went back.

He pulled her closer carefully, afraid she’d disappear in the smoke of his lust filled memory if he went too hard or too fast, but even when she remained solid, warm under his touch, her teeth pulling his bottom lip mercilessly, then spreading licks and soothing kisses, her perfume making him dizzy, he let her lead. It was easier, which considering his tendency for always taking the most tortuous path, added a layer of pleasure in a luxury hardly ever taken.

--------------------------------------

Notes:

I started writing this before season 3, because I wanted to write a fic in which Dick was pining, and also I wanted it to be steamy and smutty. But since the smut part is taking forever to finish and the pining part became bigger than what I planned, you get a two shot.

---

Preview:

“Please don’t this. I don’t want to pretend. I’m so tired of lying to you and I’ll have to pretend to the rest of my life. This might be the last night I will ever have to be myself, to be with you. I need this to be real.”

Kory took one of the hands off his hair, bending her arm backwards so she could rub him trough his trousers. Dick let out a moan and she used the opportunity to make a wet path of kisses across his cheekbones, until she reached his ear. She whispered something in her native language and licked his earlobe.

What else could he do? She wanted real. He’d give her real.

Dick pulled her up as his lips claimed hers again, her powerful legs crossed around his hips. He held her up like that for a while, just enjoying the feel of her body pressed flush against his. His hands giving her support by moulding her round butt with his palms.

Dick he walked backwards until his chins hit the bed and he fell sitting with Kory on his lap. She stopped her ministrations to pull her hair from her face and look down at him.

“Hey,” she said, her eyelashes were still wet, but her tears had stopped falling, she looked so… No wonder she belonged to the heavens, no being in the planet could be so perfect.

[tempestaslokni]

"Saddled with chores is exactly what it is. Not that I mind too much, helps keep me from thinkin’ too much. A luxury few can afford," Lokni replied as he wiped his dirty hands on his jeans. Hearing about Zaid's restaurant experience was surprising and gave Lokni pause. "So you're telling me that you own a restaurant, Chef? I didn't know about that, I just thought you cooked for a livin,'" Lokni couldn't help but grin. Not that he thought that Zaid was incapable, it was just a little surprising, that was all.

"'Course there aint' nothin' wrong with having your occupation as your identity. God knows that's what I've been doing all of these years," 'to make up for the fact that I'm nothin' else without it,' Lokni mentally added, "'specially runnin' a business, that's somethin' to be proud of." Running a business was something that Lokni couldn't dream of, or at least he hadn't thought it was possible for someone like himself, but Zaid was undeniably more than capable. His food was delicious and his skills were not your everyday run of the mill.

At Zaids admittance to his diet, Lokni raised an eyebrow, giving him a slow, up and down look before saying, "you don't look like you've ever eaten much, no offense, Chef." He hadn't meant offense, but Zaid was rather trim, more trim than Lokni pictured any average chef to be- but then again what the hell did he know about the culinary world. The closest thing he had to culinary skills was when he put chips on his sandwiches. "I'm lucky that my job keeps me in shape- or else I imagine that I'd be a lot rounder." A half-truth, his father had always been somewhere in between malnourished and reasonably in shape, but Lokni hadn't wanted to admit to any similarities between himself and that piece of shit. Eager to change the topic, Lokni switched gears, "what's your favorite "takeaway" place?"

Lokni couldn't deny that he was amused at Zaid's quip about being "young and eager to please," his lips curled into a smile. "You're implying that you're no longer young?" Lokni asked, not really sure how old Zaid was. It was a question that he often wanted to ask the other islanders, however, he found himself resisting the urge. But here Zaid had offered up the information as if it was a matter-of-fact. "I like my food with a good amount of seasonings. I like to try different things. At home, I have a hot sauce collection, but some of them are so spicy they take away the flavor and are just painful. My mother used one by accident and was so upset she brought out the white sage." A fond memory of her, a mysterious warmth spread throughout his body, as if her spirit was there next to him.

"Well, just your luck Chef, these are bitter but they add flavor. They're kinda' like radishes, I guess." Lokni waved the mashua in front of Zaid for emphasis, "I'm sure we can find other spices and stuff as well. Is it for religious reasons that you don't hunt? Do you eat meat when it's available?" Lokni hoped that his questions weren't too straightforward, but he was genuinely curious. There were so many cultures and religions outside of his little bubble, and his thirst for that kind of knowledge was insatiable.

"We can find this again by looking for these little flowers." Lokni indicated the brightly pigmented flowers that looked like drops of sunset, "also, I'm making a kind of rough map. I was gonna' ask Gael to help me make something a little more accurate and topographical, but I thought I'd get a basic map made first." Lokni pulled out the piece of paper that he had kept tucked away in his backpack, and used a small pencil to make a little rudimentary drawing of what he thought the mashua looked like. This was pretty far from his camp though, so he knew that this wouldn't be an area that he'd visit often. Still, it was good to have a reference for it.

Without further ado, Lokni began to head deeper into the wilderness, in a direction that he hadn't been before. Surely they would find more edible plants that they could forage, right? Lokni couldn’t help but nod in agreement at Zaid’s mention of things being more “long-term” if they were to set up a communal garden. “Funny that you mention that, I had the same conversation with that nice lady, Lindi, just about a week ago. We were talking about setting up a garden. It does feel long-term, but if rescue is coming, we have no idea when that will be. Better to be prepared than starve before rescue gets here, am I right?” Lokni reasoned, although he couldn’t deny that making a communal garden was something that he was looking forward to if it ever happened.

Carefully skirting the ferns and brush in the jungle, Lokni spied something familiar ahead. The fine leaves that grew up over the heads of the ferns were a little reminiscent of the scarring Lokni had from the lightning a week or so ago. Lokni wondered if his identifying skills were correct, because if he wasn't mistaken, that was definitely fennel. He stepped over an outstretched tree root and crouched next to the plant, examining it carefully. Experimentally, he broke off one sprig and took a sniff, not always a safe thing to do, but Lokni was certain at this point. The familiar scent of licorice wafted into his nostrils causing him to smile confidently. Handing it to Zaid he said, "take a sniff of that, I think we've found fennel." Off in the distance, there were violet flowers shifting in the wind, undisturbed by the wildlife.

"Right. So you worked on someone else's ranch. You didn't run a ranch yourself." Zaid couldn't help the novel amusement he got, from conversing about ranches. It was so delightfully Yank. And especially with Lokni, who couldn't be more real to the land as they come. His easy cadenced drawl, all of it painting a rather idyllic broad, fenceless landscape in Zaid's head.

Which he was old and experienced enough to know it was just a pastoral, and not actually Lokni's reality. But it felt good, for now, to paint the big man into some scene as pretty as him. "Though either way, you'd be saddled with chores sunrise to sunset, I'd imagine. Running a restaurant's like that. It's my life. It's my identity, innit."

Zaid could paint an idyllic version of his own life too. Lokni wouldn't know any better; Lokni would likely think only the best of Zaid, good bloke that he was.

So Lokni honed his own foraging abilities on the range. Similar to shepherds in England, staying out for long nights with their sheep, Zaid supposed. "Well - erm. You know how they say doctors are the worst at minding their own health? Same with most chefs, mate. I ate like shite. Whatever was around in me kitchen, though sometimes I'd even send out for a takeaway - erm, fast food, like. Some days I barely ate much." Fueled by energy drinks, and cocaine. But Zaid didn't want to mention that.

"But Pakistani cuisine is some of the best in the world, if you don't mind me saying. Took me years to recognize it meself. When you train professionally, it's all French and Italian, innit. And when you're young and eager to please, you believe what they say." A slight, ironic snort. "Right. How spicy do you like your food?"

A good segue into what Zaid wanted to even get out of this foraging trip. "I'm looking for fresh veg of any sort, fruit's alright too. But fresh herbs, savouries, peppers - that'd be brilliant. No, erm, proteins. I've got no problem with game, I'm just not a hunter."

Zaid hummed wisely, thoughts still on Tej. Tej would make a perfect untamed stallion. No man or woman could tame him. Sooner kick you in the face than let you on his back. He slowed when he peripherally caught Lokni veering off, but his mind was still imagining Tej as a wild beast (chestnut skin (hair? Fur? Whatever the fuck horses had) and black mane. "That's a good saying...what? Oh -"

Zaid hustled over. "I'm not. Look like turnips or mangel wurzels, don't they..." He reached for a bunch, the name 'mashua' flickering in his memory, like flipping through recipe cards. He dusted the bunch of tubers, frowning at them. "Mashua...that's...erm. South American, innit. Deffo a new world crop, this. Or African continent...? Nah - south American. A food staple. I've got no clue how to prepare them, but seems you do. Bloody good find mate. Now how the fuck can I find this again?"

His eyes widened. "If we start a little farming concern closer to the bungalows, yeah? Like a community garden, or like. I mean..." Zaid winced, lip curling in a distasteful snarl. "Seems a little long-term, to plan for something like a garden, innit. No one wants to be here long enough to start bloody cultivating."

[whocalledhimannux]

@peregrer the What. 👀👀👀 *insert John Mulaney gif of "say more right now"*

ok so when I say "the extent to which I've fleshed out the QT GBBO AU in my head is getting to be embarrassing," I truly and deeply mean it, please enjoy 1,900 words of utter ridiculousness.

first, our competitors:

Legarus - performs so poorly that viewers are a bit confused how he got on the show in the first place, a la Jamie (series 10) or that one guy who made a lime and chocolate cake in the first week.

Chloe - nice flavors and good ideas for decorations, but pretty sloppy. was up for elimination in the first week but came back with a great showstopper.

Melheret - good but not as good as he thinks he is (hence his bread week elimination because of sloppy technique), heavy-handed with the alcohol flavoring

Agape - solid competitor, not flashy but tasty + pretty results. I haven't worked out exact week-by-week themes (that would indeed be Too Much) but I imagine this is something like "Dairy" or "Caramel" or "Vegan," some particular element she just happens to not be strong on. viewers are disappointed by her early elimination

Teleus - Dad contestant. brings in a bunch of weird pans and gadgets he made up himself, does pretty well until it comes to Fiddly Foreign Foods he doesn't know (probably eliminated in French or Patisserie week)

Laela - typically has good flavors and pretty designs but technical knowledge is a bit lacking, so there are usually some flaws in the execution and she's often in the bottom half of technicals

Phresine - Grandma contestant. nails the classics but ultimately isn't creative enough to make it further.

Magus - the "Ian (series 6)" flavor of Dad contestant, often brings in foraged ingredients or eggs from his own chickens or whatnot and revives old recipes/flavor combinations no one else knows about. one week, some of those turn out to just be too weird, leading to his elimination.

Sophos - pretty elaborate decorations and good flavors (on the border of classic and new), but he tends to try a million different embellishments on everything and struggles with timing, occasionally to the detriment of technique.

Kamet - always has really interesting and different flavors and tends to do well in technicals especially, assuming he doesn't get overwhelmed. which is... an assumption (Finalist)

Costis - leans towards classic and indulgent flavors, although sometimes a bit sloppy--the kind of contestant where the judges look at his dishes and say "it's a bit of a mess" and then Paul Hollywood starts laughing because it still tastes delicious (Finalist)

Irene - absolutely stunning visually, queen of the technicals, occasionally gets the "style over substance" warning (Winner)

more details below the cut

I've gone back and forth on whether Eugenides should be in it but ultimately I decided no because I wanted to maintain a pre-show relationship between Laela + Kamet (I thought otherwise at first but then I realized I hadn't left Kamet any longterm friends or family for his finalist video and that's depressing af) and Irene and Sophos which to my knowledge hasn't happened once on the show so far? so having a married couple on top of that seems like it would be a stretch, and also then I think I'd need to make Eugenides the winner on principle and you know what? he can stand to be second fiddle to his wife for a little bit. My alternate backstory for him is that he was actually the winner of MasterChef one year (good with knives), so in the first episode Irene's first little chat to camera is something like "my husband's been bugging me for years to try out and I keep telling him he's got a skewed perspective on cooking competitions, finally I applied just to shut him up... and here we are." Her little video introduction is about how baking is a stress relief from her bigshot job. Her decorations tend to be abstract and gorgeous rather than cutesy.

Kamet, likewise, was nagged into applying by Laela, but she very cleverly framed it as she wanted to apply and wanted him to do it to for moral support. both were confident the other would get in and surprised that they did themselves. This is one of those series where everyone's friendships are immediate and obvious and super adorable (cast of series 10 my beloved...), and in particular these two are holding hands in episode 1. Laela's deep blue robe from TaT sticks in my head for whatever reason so I imagine her making an elaborate blue peacock cake or something one week that wins her star baker. somebody always does a peacock something and it's always impressiev.

Phresine is cool as a cucumber under pressure, always has lovely things to say about everyone else's bakes, and is the go-to last-minute helper because she usually comes in under the time. Irene starts out similar but as the weeks go by she starts to feel the pressure a bit more and cuts it a bit close. Sophos is the worst on timings, and mentions his wife at least once an episode. (I also played with him being single on the show and meeting Helen later through Irene and Eugenides, but this idea is too cute to pass up tbh.) Teleus lives with Relius, a fact that isn't mentioned until a few weeks in when he comments that Relius likes a recipe or gave him an idea for a flavor or something (Relius does not bake himself but will happily sample practice bakes), to the surprised delight of every viewer whose favorite contestant is the oldest gay in any given series (me, me, that person is me).

Costis tends to use a lot of chocolate and, as I said, pretty "classic" flavors--one of those people who makes a full English savory bake at some point. He's usually in the top half of the competition but doesn't get the top until one of the later weeks in the competition, which is a Honey themed week, and he absolutely nails it. The delicate decorations of his honey nut cakes and his use of honeycomb are particularly praised and that's the week he gets star baker. One of those bakers who flirts with elimination the first few weeks but noticeably improves over the course of the show.

My most, like, plot-y ideas are about Kamet (SHOCKER). I imagine he was born in Setra (I usually make Setra a non-autonomous region in my AUs) but arrived in Britain as a child due to [Unspecified Crisis] and ended up with foster dad Jeffa, who was roughly from the same region but not Setra itself; whenever Kamet wanted Setran food as a kid, Jeffa would take him to the library to find recipes and that was what sparked his love of baking. He's well-read on the subject and knows about foods from a lot of different cultures, so he's usually heard of the technical challenges even if he hasn't made or eaten them. He does a lot of fusion flavors, and is ALL ABOUT bread week.

I don't usually make the his-relationship-with-Nahuseresh-is-romantic leap in modern AUs but I think it works for this one because of the nature of the format--Nahuseresh doesn't actually appear on camera but is alluded to once or twice, ends up being Very Displeased that Kamet is doing something for himself, and during the week following Laela's elimination they have the fight that makes Kamet realizes this is actually a terrible relationship and he needs to leave now. He calls Laela to let her know what's up and mentions that, since he'll need to stay in a motel and has presumbly lost his job as a secretary (yeah working for your boyfriend is Bad, he's realized that now), he's going to have to drop out of the show. Laela, despite living in a studio flat without room to host him, immediately thinks "um fuck that" and calls Costis, and within an hour Costis and Aris and a few rugby buddies have moved all of Kamet's things into Costis and Aris's flat, where Costis insists that he'll squeeze into Aris's room (they've shared before, it's fine) and that Kamet gets first dibs on the kitchen for all bake off practices.

None of them actually reveal any of this to the show's producers. Kamet gets a little overwhelmed the following week and nearly walks away from the tent, but Costis jumps in to keep his bake from being ruined, and some soothing words from Irene + the hosts calm him down and he returns to finish. The only mention of the Drama comes in the finale, during the longer video clips they do on each of the contestants. Kamet is deliberately vague about the details of the situation, but Aris shows up in both Costis's and Kamet's videos and references the fact that having TWO flatmates in the bake off is a bit difficult because they only have a standard size kitchen, so he hasn't cooked for himself in a month and has been living off cake and savory breads. one of the hosts talks to Kamet in the tent after that clip is shown and he still won't talk about it in more detail, but says that he wanted to tell people so they could appreciate why Costis hasn't practiced as much the last few weeks (the judges scolded him for winging it a couple of times), and admits that he totally copied some of Costis's techniques for honey week based on watching him at home.

I imagine the finale task is something like an illusion cake--probably with a bunch of additional required elements because the show has been going bonkers with the finale showstoppers in the newer seasons--and Irene wins with a jewelry box containing, among other things, ruby earrings made out of candy. Kamet does a stepwell, and Costis does something architectural (I was thinking castle but something visibly Greek-ish so maybe a temple or a megaron? idk). Irene wins but they're all BFFs and that's obvious, so everyone's delighted for her. The little montage at the end reveals that Irene + Gen are expecting twins, that everybody hangs out all the time, and that Costis + co recently helped Kamet move into his own flat where he's now working on a novel (Immakuk and Ennikar inspired, obvi, leaning heavily on the honey-shared-on-the-road thing and including some recipes that actually work in the narration, albeit still written in an ancient-novel-like-way).

[Obviously not part of the show, but when Kamet mentions that it's time for him to look for his own place, Costis tries to v awkwardly invite him to stay forever and Kamet is like "nope I've got to try this on my own but yes we will go on a date once I've moved out and see how it goes from there."]

[This is so far beyond the scope of the show but also several of them go on to have more baking-related careers and have active social media presences and at one point they're all hanging out and Eugenides pulls out a camera and demands they all produce baking pick-up lines. Teleus refuses and also doesn't believe anyone knows baking pick-up lines off the top of their head or could make them up on the spot. Sophos sort of proves him right by coming up with "you're the apple of my pie," which Eugenides instantly mocks because Sophos's three greatest loves are baking, Helen, and poetry, and that's the best he can do? Helen comes up with "I like my cake the way I like my men--rich, sweet, and bright red," to which Sophos blushes on cue. Irene's is "when I'm with you, I feel like chocolate heated to 50 degrees--I struggle to maintain my temper." Eugenides protests this is more like an anti-pickup line. Irene insists this is the most accurate marriage-related baking pun anyone could ever come up with.

[Laela's is "You and I are like custard--I hope we never split." Kamet's is "You remind me of bread, because I knead you." Costis freezes for a minute and finally comes up with "Fancy a cream horn?" which produces a lot of giggling and makes Kamet slap his arm in such a way that, hen Eugenides posts this video to instagram, fans of the show all go WAIT ARE THEY DATING NOW] [by this point, yes they are] [I didn't even have to google baking pickup lines for this, guys, I legit came up with them on my own, please clap.]

am I obsessed? I might be obsessed

[twistedtranslations]

Jamil Viper - M-My heart...

You can unlock this story by getting Jamil’s SSR Dorm Uniform

Translation under the cut

Scarabia Dorm - Lounge

Jamil: …Once again, you made a promise without thinking about the consequences.

Kalim: But the principal said he didn't know where to go on a holiday right? Our home country is the best, don't you think? We the Scarabia dorm are representatives and we should show him the charms of the Country of Hot Sands! I'll leave the decorations of the lounge and the cooking to you Jamil. I will make the preparations for the parade!

Scarabia Dorm - Hallway

Jamil: …And for him to tell me that the day before. And he especially invited the principal. If the banquet is half-baked, it will have an influence on our evaluation. For Kalim's, the banquet…and my sake, I'll have to make this banquet a success. Okay. For the decorations. However it wouldn't fit if the decorations were just pretty, they also have to represent the culture of our country. ..All the ideas I have will take a long time. Hm… To have both beauty and culture…beauty and culture…beauty… Ah! I know!! I guess I should hear out "that" person.

Pomefiore Dorm - Lounge

Vil: …So you came to ask me for advice for the design of the party.

Jamil: Yes. A beautiful interior, a beautiful table set and beautiful entertainment… When I thought about "Beauty", your face suddenly appeared in my mind.

Vil: Ah. Is that so.

Jamil: Kalim has prepared traditional fabric from our country to use for decoration. They're the ones I'm carrying now. They're deep red, patterned with large peacocks. I thought that someone with an aesthetic sense as yours would be able to teach me how to use this cloth the best…

Vil: I understand what you want to say. …But surely you don't intend to consult my knowledge free of charge?

Jamil: Haha, I knew he would say that! My preparations are flawless.

Jamil: You don't think that I presumed the charismatic beauty, Vil Schoenheit would cooperate free of charge! I'm not that impolite. In the case you do give me advice, I offer you one roll of this fabric. The textiles made in the Country of Hot Sands are very valuable after all. Moreover, the goods woven by the purveyors of the Asim household aren't even available in the stores…

Vil: I could estimate the value of this cloth by a glance so you don't have to explain. I was searching for a fabric for my new suit, so I shall accept your request.

Jamil: Really? I am so glad!

Vil: Show me the textile.

Vil: …I see. The weaving was done carefully, but the large pattern has a strong impact. Framing it like it is or using it as a rug will certainly give of the "traditional crafts" feeling. If I fiddle with this a bit…

Jamil: I see~ I will study this~

Jamil: And now I just leave everything to Vil. I should just sit back and nod when appropriate…

Vil: Can someone bring me scissors!

Pomefiore Student: Here!

Jamil: Are those sewing scissors? …Wait please, what do you intend to do with those scissors. You're not going to…

Vil: I've already decided. I'm cutting this.

/Snip

Jamil: Aaah!! You cut this super expensive cloth in two!!!!

Vil: I'll cut it more so I can make a long and narrow flag.

/Snip

Jamil: Y-You cut it again! You know one roll of this can feed a 4-person family for one month right!! How wasteful… Hm? No…T-this is…? By cutting in this traditional pattern, you made an innovative design!!

Vil: Yes. If you come out of your comfort zone you will avoid being unfashionable. However, a certain someone who came to me just couldn't stop giving me harmless but pointless compliments…

Jamil: Shit.

Vil: Whatever you do, you should never forget to be bold. Aim to be sensational. There's nothing that I produce that can be considered "inocuous"! Now, I shall have you be brought another scissor and you shall cut this cloth according to my instructions!

Jamil: Y-Yes!

Main Street

Jamil: Sigh. I'm tired… Being unrelenting is a good thing but the way he handles people is way too rough. There were a lot of scraps, so cleaning up took forever. …Oh well, for now the matter of decorations is settled. Next I have to prepare the food for the banquet. It's past 3 pm right now so I should… Wait it's past 3pm!? That's less than 3 hours 'til the banquet!! Because Vil was prattling on, I forgot to keep an eye on the time. I won't make it in time for the banquet! Whatever I do, I won't be able to prepare the food in time. Cooking….Cooking…Aha. This time I shall just ask "that" person!

Chapter 2

Kitchen

Jamil: Kalim suddenly planned to throw a banquet for the principal to introduce him to the Country of Hot Sands… If I want to make this party a success, I'll have to cook something from our hometown… If I was on my own, I wouldn't be able to make it. So I had to call in someone to help me. And if it's about cooking, this person will certainly…

Jamil: Trey. Please take care of me.

Trey: I'll do my very best. Since… in return you would prune all the rose bushes at Heartslabyul, wouldn't you?

Jamil: …Yes. If I can safely make it through the banquet, that is. In terms of labor, I lose. Keep the cool face and look at your feet…

Trey: So, did you decide on a menu?

Jamil: Yes. I intended to set up some bases of the traditional food of the Country of Hot Sands. The main dish will be a goat roast. Usually, you have to let it marinate in spices for three days but… I already seasoned one and put it in the freezer. Today we will use that.

Trey: You're so careful to the point that it looks like you knew about the party beforehand.

Jamil: Kalim loves inviting people over so I prepare stuff every day. I'll put the meat in the oven and have it slowly roast on a low fire. Meanwhile, we can start with the other meals. Seafood sauté, green salad, thin baked bread and dessert… Anyway I'm short of hands. First of all, please peel the potatoes!

/Cooking sounds

Jamil: Okay, now all of the cooking is done.

Trey: All of them smell fantastic… Especially the well-cooked meat looks delicious! …However… by appearance you could say it looks kind of miserable.

Jamil: Huh, do you think so?

Trey: Yeah. There's only light brown on the plate, it's kind of unsatisfactory. I picked roses to put in the jam. If I scatter the petals like this… Look. If I add some red to it, doesn't it look more brilliant?

Jamil: You're right! It gives of a luxurious impression. Sometimes my younger sister tells me that my cooking looks plain by appearance. Back in the days we quarreled about it but… to think it was about the color.

Trey: Haha. There are plenty of people who think that Heartslabyul's sweets are gaudy, so I understand you. The most important thing in cooking is flavor after all. That's why I want to tell you that "Appearance doesn't matter!" but… you went through great troubles to make it delicious. It should be enjoyable from the start to the finish.

Jamil: I'll do my best remembering that. The next time I'll go home, my sister will be in for a surprise.

Trey: Let's decorate the other meals as well. I also have edible flowers that I use for cakes.

Main Street

Jamil: Thank you very much, Trey! …Okay. I managed finish up cooking perfectly. …I wonder how Kalim's preparations for the parade are coming along.

Kalim: It seems the animals have arrived. Let's pick them up at the front gate!

Jamil: Hm? When you speak about the devil you see his tail. I'll watch secretly…

Scarabia Student C: Did you really get lions and elephants? What if they broke loose in the school…

Kalim: Hahaha, it'll be fine! You guys. What do you think is the most important thing  when you communicate with animals?

Jamil: Heh, that's super easy. The answer is "Animal language". With that you can tell the animals which route to take for the parade…

Kalim: The most important thing when you communicate with animals is… PETTING!!!!

Jamil: !!??

Kalim: Everyone is a living being after all, so if you rely on them it will turn out alright. If you want to take a small break, open the cage and deepen your bonds with the animals!

Jamil: …Is he releasing the lions and the elephants without any preparation…? Why…Why are you so incautious when it comes to animals…! Ever since you were little, you tottered over to the likes of tigers and panthers to give them pet food… It's worrisome. No matter how I look at it, it's worrisome. I can't trust Kalim with anything. I shall talk to the animals…!

Scarabia Dorm - Lounge

Kalim: Principal. Please experience the hospitality of the Country of Hot Sand with all your might today. Then let's start this fun banquet!

Jamil: Somehow… we managed to finish up the decorations, cooking and parade on time… I ran more today than I do in a basketball game. I'm completely exhausted…

Kalim: Hey Jamil. Don't you look a little bit tired?

Jamil: THAT MUST BE YOUR IMAGINATION!!!!!

Kalim: Really? Okay.

Crowley: The decorations are wonderful, and the food is absolutely delicious.

Grim: Chomp, chomp. It's so good!

Yuu: Come on, manners! Chomp Chomp.

Kalim: It seems that the principal and the guests are enjoying themselves. Thank you for preparing the decorations and the food. Jamil.

Jamil: …  Don't mention it. But it's too early for you to let your guard down. As the organizer of the event, don't you still have to appear in the finale? Hurry up and get ready.

Kalim: Okay, gotcha!

Jamil: Good grief…

Grim: Jamil!

Jamil: Hm?

Grim: Your cooking, all of it is amazing!!

Jamil: …Yuu, what do you think? Do you like the cooking of the Country of Hot Sands.

Yuu: It's yummy. I want to eat it every day.

Jamil: Heh. I'm glad.

Jamil: Ah, it seems that the parade is starting. Principal, please go out to the balcony and enjoy the welcome parade of the Country of Hot Sands.

Scarabia Student C: U-Uhm! Vice dorm leader Viper!!

Jamil: Hm? Why are you in such a hurry.

Scarabia Student C: That's because… whisper…whisper…

Jamil: … What!?

Crowley: Hm? Is there something, Viper?

Jamil: N-No! There's nothing. I'll just have to leave my seat for a while… please continue enjoying Scarabia's banquet!

Chapter 3

Scarabia Dorm - Hallway

Jamil: KALIM DISAPPEARED!? The animal parade is a tradition of the Country of Hot Sands. The most valuable seven-colored parrot have to fly… And the organizer is supposed to give a grand welcome!

Scarabia Student C: We searched everywhere but we couldn't find him… We can't do the finale of the parade like this.

Scarabia Student D: Wait! Instead of the dorm leader, we should have the vice dorm leader do the greeting.

Jamil: I can't. It would dishonor the organizer…Kalim.

Scarabia Student C: But we can't find him…!

Scarabia Student D: And the parade is still going on… what do we do!

Jamil: …Calm down everyone. Panicking won't help. You guys are the farsighted and deeply designed students of Scarabia, aren't you? When an unexpected situation comes up you should be calm.

Scarabia Student D: …It is as Viper says.

Scarabia Student C: Sorry for getting upset.

Scarabia Student B: Uhm… dorm leader Kalim wanted to me to bring you a message…!

Jamil: …I see. Because of your error, the seven-colored parrot fled. And Kalim went to search for a substitute.

Scarabia Student A: Yes… The dorm leader said that it was fine to start with the parade… Sorry. It's all our fault.

Jamil: Let's leave the investigation of your guilt for later. Let's first think about the problem we have in front of us. According to your story, Kalim has gone to Diasomnia… Even if he flyed on the magical carpet he would take 10 minutes. We have 5 minutes left until the finale of the parade. No matter what we do he won't make it in time. …We have to stretch time until Kalim gets back.

Scarabia Dorm - Lounge

Crowley: Tigers and elephants, lions, monkeys and peacocks… there are plenty of other animals marching lively. I'm so moved that I'm able to watch such a wonderful parade from the dorm's balcony!

Grim: Yes! The parade is going 'til the fountain. The music is getting louder as well…

Yuu: It's time for the finale! Let's get excited together!

Crowley: What kind of surprising show will I be able to witness at last!? …

Grim: …

Yuu: The animals seem to be circling in the same spot?

Crowley: How strange, I wonder if something happened. Can it be… that they ran into some trouble?

Scarabia Student C: The principal is muttering… Is the dorm leader Kalim still not here!?

Scarabia Student D: At this rate, our party we worked hard on will fail…!

???: The Asim household does not fail.

Jamil: …As long as I'm here! I'm on top of the roof… the shadow of the tower is just right. I'll rely on my wind magic to make it flashy!

Crowley: Oho? Something is falling down. The red blizzard making the white Scarabia glow is truly beautiful…

Grim: The way it flutters and sticks to my noise is annoying!

Crowley: Grim, you don't understand. Isn't this a chic show. If it's this, I could watch it forever.

Jamil: The scraps of cloth that Vil cut off and the petals I got from Trey… Who'd have thought they'd play this role. Even I couldn't predict that. Anyway, I managed to stretch the time of the show. Now there's only…

???: Heey!

Jamil: The thing flying over there is…the magic carpet! He has arrived!!

Kalim: Principal! And Yuu and Grim as well, thank you for coming to Scarabia today! I've never been this happy that I could entertain my dearest guests!

Jamil: Sigh… And with this the parade is over without a hitch. I should go back to the lounge. My broom, where is it… And how long is Kalim planning to ride that carpet? I'm getting anxious watching him stand and move around on that carpet…

Kalim: A, Ah I'm losing my balance…aah! I'm falling!!!

Jamil: !!!?? WATCH OUT!!!!!

/Splash

Kalim: …Man I was really surprised. I was careless and fell in the fountain. …Hm? But I'm not hurting anywhere…? …Ah, Jamil! You made me float with wind magic. Thank you. Thanks to you I wasn't hurt.

Jamil: M-My heart…I thought it was about to stop…tch.

Kalim: But I'm completely soaked… How cruel. Hahaha!!

Jamil: You feel like laughing huh. I felt like I was about to pass to the other side! Stop trying to imitate people rashly!!!!!

Kalim: Yeah. …Sorry for making you worry. …Anyways, did you see the finale? I did my best!

Jamil: …Yes, I saw it. Well done. Me.

Crowley: Well, the decorations, the food and the parade made for a wonderful banquet!! It must've been awfully troublesome to plan all of that, no?

Kalim: Nah, absolutely not. Right, Jamil?

Jamil: Yes.

Yuu: Good job! Good job…

Jamil: Today was a harsh day. If I had to plan another party like this…

Kalim: Principal! Disregarding your holidays, you should come again…

Jamil: Kalim!

Kalim: Hmpf.

Jamil: If the principal tells you something again, just say that you'll consider it. No matter what, first consult everything with me. Understood?

Kalim: …Hah. I thought something was up when you suddenly shut my mouth. Okay. I don't really get it, but I get it!

Jamil: You're really such a reliable dorm leader…

[beta-adjacent]

Actually, I’m not sure if the truth is an even funnier punchline so I’ll share that too. Yes, it’s true; I really have been meal planning this week. My question was intended to be funny…… but it wasn’t not genuine.

So uh. I started writing and realized maybe I do need someone to talk to hahaha…. ? So yeah, bit of a vent under the cut, but I think it’s still silly goofy enough to post

Hear me out.

It just happens that I‘ve needed to go grocery shopping for the last 3 weeks. I’m not the one in charge of that budget (or the transportation or the time or even the energy, but maybe I have more power than I thought because I was blamed for us not going this weekend? I can elaborate on that whole situation too if you want?? I don’t know how relevant that is to the story). But point is that I can’t go myself, not until at least this upcoming weekend. So, this week has been about getting creative with the food we do still have left. And the house just happens to have a shocking amount of pet food lying around, despite us not having pets and I’ve become a rather adventurous eater in the last few years.

So, I think all that considered, it was a pretty fair question to ask!! And to answer yours formally: I am ok, and while I haven’t actually attempted to season pet food yet, I am kind of considering it. Just as a backup backup backup plan, y’know?

Don’t get this twisted: we do have the money to go out and shop!!!!! It’s not like we’ve been eating takeout/fast food this whole time; we have plenty of delicious food in the pantry that we’ve had since we moved in, that we’ve finally started using now. It just sucks because that food in question requires more energy to make, like opening up cans without a can opener and cooking rice in a rice cooker (………which I say with equal parts comic sarcasm and authentic distress, haha. I’ve been trying to not beat myself up too hard for actually finding those difficult tasks right now. Especially the rice cooker, oh my god. It’s a whole Thing re: the dishes). We’ve been using my uni’s grocery benefits too because it’s just more accessible; I just can’t visit them until tomorrow afternoon. All the food left in the pantry is good still, like everyone in the house is capable of eating it, and that’s what’s really important. Lots of canned produce and noodles and stale snacks, which, no fuck you, I’m gonna make a quick PSA about this while I have the floor: if you have sensory issues with it, that’s totally fine, but sometimes stale/burnt/otherwise “bad” food tastes Far better than the “good” fresh version!!!!!!!! That is a hill I will die on!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sometimes I need a stale, dry cereal in my life. Usually when the milk has gone bad. But mostly because the texture is yummy too!!!!! Honey Nut Cheerios are kind of banger when they’re chewy

I cannot stress enough: we have all the ability and power and tools needed to make our lives easier in this sense, and we just have continually chosen to not take those opportunities. It’ll all be resolved eventually and NOTHING I’m writing is actually as bad as I’m portraying it. We have the money, we have good food in stock, we can easily survive Weeks without shopping still. I’m just a lil guy who’s hungry for food and knowledge, haha

Anyways, so yeah, if you’re affronted by this situation now, then definitely don’t ask me about my hair, or the dishes, or anything else regarding the basic needs in my life, bwahaha. I mean, you can, but you’ll get similar answers to this one

Anywaysssss,

pet food burgers! I’ve been thinking about it more, and I believe I could even get away with making meatballs with them too? That’d stretch pretty far with the pasta. OOH, and we have some flour somewhere!!!! Dumpling filling, anyone?? Ah, and meatloaf!!! We’ve got ketchup, and half a loaf of bread, and that’s like kind of all you need for meatloaf right? Guys, I think I’m really onto something here! Or I’m just hella hungry, bwahahaha. But no y’all, I could totally crush a Chopped episode where one of the ingredients is pet food; it’s a versatile protein source!!!

How bad can wet pet food actually be? I mean, you season that shit, fry it like a patty, serve it with some bread? That’s just some spam with the texture of canned tuna!

[nutty1005]

Marvelous City – Chongqing Special

Video Link: https://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XNTA2NzMzODYxNg==.html

Translator’s Note: This is translated off the Marvelous City - Chongqing Special Episode. I wrote it in an article form because of video copyrights issues. This documentary was filmed early 2020, but only aired recently. Xiao Zhan’s episode aired on 12 Jan, this special episode aired on 17 Jan.

Q: What difference do you feel returning to Chongqing this time round?

A: Actually for all my years, I’ve never seriously experienced Chongqing like this. Because when you’re living within it, you will not jump to an outsider’s point of view and deliberately observe places, scenery and food. I grew up with Chongqing and it’s melded within me, hence this time I came back, including the air raid shelters, the local delicacies, or the Xiao Mian, I have a new understanding and knowledge of them. The feeling in my heart is different as well.

Q: What are your biggest takeaway from this visit?

A: As a Chongqinger who has grown up and lived twenty odd years in Chongqing, I realized my understanding of the air raids shelters, I originally thought they were just shelters. But after my discussion with Mr. Xiang, I discovered that there were many stories regarding them. Yesterday, he spoke of an example, an elder he interviewed, and that elder told him that during those years, once there was an alarm, he was actually secretly happy. He would watch for the shelter the lady he liked ran into, and he would follow that lady to that shelter. So you see, it’s that sort of finding joy in their chaotic lives. I feel that that is, very accurately, the description of Chongqingers’ optimism. But actually, it’s easy to say that we would feel like that – since we have to live every day, living a day happily versus living a day miserably, why should we not live happily. But few are able to do that, moreover in such a chaotic environment. So when he told me those stories yesterday, I felt especially touched. I was quite moved, actually.

Q: How was the experience when you previously rode the light rail?

A: The line for Niujiaotuo was especially interesting. To walk from Rail Line 3 to Rail Line 2, it took 15 minutes. If the person in front of you walked especially slowly, plus everyone was going to work in the morning, it’s just shoulder to shoulder crowded. Basically, even if you wanted to run, you couldn’t, you could only push your way through and then run forward. That period was especially weird. I was thinking, why weren’t these ladies and gentlemen in a hurry, then I’d be “excuse me excuse me”, push through them and run forward, then start queuing.

Rail Line 2 would come, because it was suspended between bridges, when the glass door opens you’d have to squeeze your way in, and there would be some situations, like some people with their bags stuck outside, their slipper stuck outside, and then all kinds of stuff, sometimes even their breakfast would be stuck outside. Then there’s like burst soy bean drinks, there’s a lot of situations like this, and actually below Rail Line 2, there was a huge safety net. The net was there because they were afraid of falling objects from great heights, and these might fall and hit someone below. So sometimes, well sometimes in the summer, I would see that there’s some ridiculous things piling on the net, someone’s slipper, belt, bag or umbrella, etc. I don’t know if it’s still there, I guess they would clean it regularly. But I felt that this was especially funny, funny and sad at the same time. I mean who would want to squeeze with people early in the morning, you’d be squeezed half dead, everyone would be angry, and you’d argue in the morning.

But you couldn’t help it, it’s for livelihood, hence that time when I saw that there were many reports saying “it’s so tough, this year is so tough on me”, but then I also felt that actually everyone had it tough. I feel that everyone is moving forward while trying to live, actually we’re like a battalion, and we are all being pushed forward by our lives. We’re already at 2020 and every single day before was tough, it’s all tough, so I feel that we just have to manage and adjust. I feel that our attitudes need to be managed well.

I remember that time, I was squeezed so badly that I was plastered onto the glass door. That glass door, I was literally stuck onto it, and then when I looked down at the Jialing River, because the Rail Line 2 was suspended over it, I just looked at the Jialing River below and thought, actually that scenery was rather pretty. So, I’d just watch the scenery, and when you start to carefully observe, you would feel that it’s actually quite beautiful. In the mornings, there would be elders swimming in the winter, and then there’d be some reefs, because I recall that it’d be dry season during the winter, the water levels would go down and hence the waters would also become somewhat clearer. Jialing River, with those oddly shaped reefs, and then there was all kinds of people fishing, jogging alongside. What also attracted me was the windows, they looked like film, frame by frame, and the windows on the light rail were also frame by frame. And then after night falls, because the light rail was built along the river, the night view by the river, those lights and those skyscrapers would be varicolored, just like a movie.

Q: What do you like about Chongqing?

A: I like its summer and I also like its winter. There’s two sensations, the summer’s passionate like fire, whereas the winter, and you’d feel that the chill seeps into your bones, just you’d feel hurt magically. Hotpot, Xiao Mian, spicy diced chicken, peppercorn chicken, there’s too many of them, I love them all. Double-cooked pork… I feel that these food are something engraved in your bones since childhood. When you mention those food, your mouth instinctively salivates. I already have the taste of peppercorn chicken in my mouth, it’s strange, but I haven’t had peppercorn chicken for a very long time, but now I am just… *swallows saliva*

Q: What is the Chongqing delicacy of your heart?

A: There’s no need to say. I used to go to this noodle stall in the past. It didn’t have a name, it’s just an aunty, and that aunty is especially nice. Because every time I went there I would tell her, aunty, for example I wanted to eat wontons, we call them Chao Shou, I’d say, “Aunty I want less wontons more vegetables”, and then the aunty would put in a lot of vegetables, but she didn’t really remove that many wontons. Every time I went there I don’t have to give her my order, I’d say “the same old”, and she’d know exactly what to make, just put more vegetables inside. So sometimes, I’d just watch her cook, and while watching her busy around, you’d feel especially warm in your heart. It’s just a stall, but every neighbor would be eating there, and they’d be eating there for decades, their children and even grand children would be eating there as well. Slowly, the stall would became a part of their emotional support, like maybe I won’t eat this noodles today, or perhaps she didn’t open today, it would became a kind of concern for that person. Eventually, it’s no longer a matter of a bowl of Xiao Mian, but a habit of life, an emotional interaction. I feel that this is the power of Chongqing delicacies in my heart.

Q: How was your childhood like?

Actually when you talk about my childhood, I really liked the environment I lived in when I was really young. Sometimes I would dream and I often dreamed of that period. When I was young, the early 90s era, multimedia wasn’t as advanced, there were no mobile phones or computers. There were probably arcade centers during that period of time, those that you needed to slot in coins, but children weren’t allowed to go, we had to sneak in. But mostly, it was our neighbors.

As a child, once we finish our homework, we could go downstairs and yell out “So-and-so, come down quickly”, and with a whoosh, all the children in the district would come down. Everyone would play hide-and-seek and then beanbag toss (TN: similar to cornhole), just all kinds of board games, any sort will do. All of these games are interactive. I still remember the shop on the first floor downstairs from my home, he modified the shop to become a snack stop, and all of the kids would buy snacks from him. I remember that real fresh milk was delivered on a bicycle, everyday freshly squeezed, and we would collect from him using our own bags or buckets. It’s just especially down-to-earth. I remember that time at around 5pm or 6pm,you’d hear yelling, as in that sort “selling milk” (TN: in Chongqing accent) and those fat sausages. Over there, fat sausages (TN: in Chongqing accent), all these kinds of finger food, you know? Wow, I miss those days.

And during that period, the smells of cooking would fill up the entire district, whether by mothers or grandmothers, they’d be cooking and the whole district would permeate with delicious smells. It was just especially wonderful, I feel that that period was really down-to-earth, everyone was especially vivid. Actually, I feel that our lives now are a bit cold, just a bit cold. Then, we would know all of our neighbors, but now, I doubt that we understand our neighbors well.

Q: What do you think of the phrase “pa erduo”? (TN: henpecked, literally means to be pulled by the ear)

Pa erduo (TN: In Chongqing accent), it means that the person’s ear is especially soft. It used to mean that the man is some kind of a loser, but I feel that now, this phrase is adorable. I feel that it’s a compliment, it means that Chongqing men treat their wives well, it’s a display of love for their wives, so I feel that it’s adorable. When I’m out, I am upright and indomitable, I can be your pillar of support, but when I’m back home, I will dote on you fully. I feel that it’s especially good, my father is like this. My father is especially cute sometimes, oh dear, I’m going to betray my father. He is especially cute, he would often tell my mother to let him maintain some dignity when they’re out, just especially cute. I feel that as a couple, they are quite good, just very standard, in my eyes, they are the standard Chongqing couple. Because actually my mother doesn’t talk a lot outside, she listens to whatever my father says, but once we are back home, my dad will give in to my mother most of the time.

Q: What is your relationship with your hometown?

To me, I feel that I am just very proud of her, she’s my pride. Maybe there are some youths, actually I was the same when I was a teenager, I thought about whether I should leave Chongqing to a bigger city. At that time, everyone was talking about Bei-Shang-Guang (TN: Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou), and I thought about whether I wanted to take a look there, for example design, obviously Bei-Shang-Guang is the forefront of China, spearheading. I thought about it as well, whether I should go and take a look, but when I was studying in the university, and then after I graduated, to me, I was slowly adjusting to the life in Chongqing, so I feel this differs from person to person. Hence at that time I felt that it was also quite fine remaining in Chongqing. If I can’t attain a top leader position outside, or become a highflier, then why shouldn’t I just stay grounded and do well in my own hometown? Actually those were my thoughts at that time, but as fate has it, I still left Chongqing. So I feel this is really just fate, just something mysterious. Now that there’s so much skyscrapers in Chongqing, so many office buildings, so many of them graded 5A, there are so many youths working in there, fighting for their dreams. There may be some people who doesn’t like it, some may be forced to work by their families, or the job was found for them by a relative, but I believe that most youths have an ambitious heart, and they want to fulfill the dreams they had when they were studying, their endeavors, and they are just fighting for their ideals. I feel that every city has its own charm, and Chongqing charm lies in the fact that it’s vivid. It’s very lively, it’s a young city, and everyone is fighting, for their lives, for their ambitions. She is a very lively city.

Q: Do you think you have the tenacity of a Chongqinger?

A: Very tenacious. I feel that I am a very tenacious person. Just when I encounter things, like I’ve lived in Chongqing for 23 years, well-adjusted to the living and working environment of Chongqing, and then suddenly I went to Beijing, to the entertainment business. It’s just worlds apart, two entirely different living environments. And truth be told, that period of time was quite tough. Whether it was singing, dancing or acting, to me those were all brand new things, but at that time I felt, since I’m already here, then I must do it well with all of my efforts. No matter how tough or how difficult, those were my choices, even if I had to crawl I had to finish the journey, that’s how I felt.

[keyofjetwolf]

Bonus Question Answers! (anime heat 2)

I asked a silly question! You gave me incredible answers. SO VERY MANY INCREDIBLE ANSWERS. Now, I present my favourites! And really, they were ALL favourites. Mmm, headcanony goodness.

Oh, special shoutout to this unattributed one, which I suspect fell prey to someone submitting early, but as phrased, made me snort laugh: “one of my longest held headcanons is that ami“

SAME, FRIEND

Anyway, If your answer is listed below, you’ve earned an entry in a random draw to win a GIFTENING liveblog OF YOUR CHOICE

—

Q: Senshi headcanon time! Intrigue me, humour me, crush me, FEED ME.

* Michiru actually did have a guardian cat, once. It was silvery grey with dark blue eyes. It did not speak, but it was always there to provide support and comfort in a life which had little of either. The first time Michiru had a strong vision, which left her cold and senseless on the floor of her room, it was the small warmth from her cat that brought her back to the world of color and light and solidity. The cat was a friend and confidante in those early days, when Michiru was unsure if this experience was real or the beginnings of schizophrenia. The fact that her mother could see the cat, and regularly make comments about the uncleanliness of such creatures, was proof of Michiru's new reality. So when the cat entered the fray to distract a youma, saving Michiru, but being killed in the process, it became one more thing that the Moon had given her, only to steal away. Michiru promised herself to never rely on another again, or to allow the Moon to have her heart again. And she had done fairly well at this. Haruka, for all her charms, was a plaything, and not something to sacrifice herself for. But pausing outside the Marine Cathedral, Michiru found herself looking into dark blue eyes, so different, but so similar, and knew that she would do anything and everything in her power to keep from having to watch them close, again. -- @incorrecttact  [YOU ARE ALSO KILLING THESE QUESTIONS. This hit me right in the kokoro, and I welcomed its sweet sweet pain.]

~~

*  Mako teaches Hotaru, Chibiusa, and the Amazon Quartet to cook and bake as a bonding activity. Hotaru LOVES making cakes and decorating them. Chibiusa likes cooking with noodles and even making her own; it doesn’t sound special, but the food she makes is DELICIOUS. Ves, the red one, finds cooking easy, but doesn’t like it and so never does outside of being coaxed into it. Jun, the green one, finds baking easy, but also doesn’t like sweet things, which limits her repertoire. Cere, the pink one, has no natural talent, but she very much WANTS to be good at it, so she turns out to be the best cook of her Senshi group. Palla takes to neither, but she is very enthusiastic about eating their experiments.  --  Jules  [I am an absolute slut for Mako and moments with the kids, and including the Quartet was a brilliant stroke.]

~~

*  A Serenity is not supposed to be reborn. They are born, they live, they die, and they are done. They are not like the Senshi, whose souls reincarnate, carefully bound to Serenity blood. They are not supposed to be reborn, so when Queen Serenity sees everything fail and decides to send their souls to the future, the Senshi are easy. Serenity is not. In desperation, Serenity does something she would have never considered in any other circumstance: she ties Serenity's soul to the Senshi. What was once a one way tie, has now become an equal bond, and so everything changes.  -- @madegeeky  [Ooo, this is some lovely twists on my own reincarnation headcanons, while still keeping the “this is a mistake” flavour. IT TASTES GOOD.]

~~

*  How about more Rei whistle antics? You headcanon Usagi would use the whistle for every mundane thing and Rei would come. Usagi would do this at 2 AM in the morning too and Rei would still be woken up and still come even in pajamas if she need be because Usagi had a spooky nightmare or "Rei-chan I fell off my bed and now my face hurts". Knowing Rei whistle antics can be funny for us and maybe aggravating for Rei at times because "Usagi you blew the whistle because you fell off the bed?" what if we can make it a pinch sad? Like what if Rei can tell what sort of peril Usagi is in by the way she blows the whistle in tone? Like when it's a sad somewhat weaker whistle, even if it's just a tiny subtle tone, Rei can IMMEDIATELLY tell "USAGI IS SAD AND NEEDS ME" and she will RUSH over in 5 seconds like in her Rei way, she might even have the mind to bring snacks, cocoa and plush to hug for the comfort.  --  Mrs. Duckling  [HOW ABOUT INDEED. I hadn’t thought about the different ways the whistle can be blown and what it might say, what a wonderful addition. THANK YOU FOR CATERING DIRECTLY TO ME AND MY NEEDS]

~~

*  PGSM!Sailor Mars - [REDACTED] Oh. Right. You're not there yet. Awkward... Anime!Minako is a huge fan of romance manga, but for all the wrong reasons. She tried drawing doujinshi of crack ships before realizing that A) she's not really a writer and B) she's REALLY not an artist. She plans on using some of her rich idol singer money to commission really bizarre romance stories. The sort that make you go WTF?! Of course, step one is "become a rich and famous idol"... Meanwhile, Rei also buys the romance manga that Minako gets into, (partially so she'll shut up about it) but mainly just analyzes them for mood and the characters, and gets frustrated when they inevitably devolve into nothing but sappy kissing and mooning over each other. She's trying to see why Minako gets so obsessed, but doesn't want to flat out admit that she doesn't get it and have to ask. -- Peter "Pigeons!" Svensson  [I had nothing but fun with this, fantastic. ps: THANK YOU FOR THE PIGEONS NOMINATION]

~~

* If these four* Senshi were to meet you, I think they'd each also be meeting some of their best qualities: Usagi is love, and that love is infectious as HELL. Much like a certain blogger who has amassed an international following on the strength of her love for her favourite media, wouldn't you say? Ami is very impressed by your office set-up! But when she sees you re-enter the room with a sprightly little black cat riding on your shoulder, she knows she has discovered a kindred spirit. Where can Rei-chan possibly begin? From your passionately informed and encyclopedic knowledge of their interactions ("She has RECEIPTS, Usagi!"), to your, let's call it tenacity ("She stirred that sugar for TWO HOURS, Usagi!!"), Rei finds so much to admire. And while no one could ever possibly love Rei as much as she loves herself, she magnanimously allows that you are a close second. As for Haruka, well! World Shaking? More like Toilet Breaking! You wrecked that shit and unleashed the sea. She can certainly relate *eyebrows, eyebrows* *would that i had time to write out blurbs for the others! but we're heading back into lockdown today, and i need to get to the post office to mail you a package. PRIORITIES! xo  -- @rasiqra-revulva​  [Okay look when I said “crush me” I didn’t mean WITH NICENESS. Also thank you for the huge laughs. *eyebrows, eyebrows*]

~~

*  Minako manages to write a tell-all book (anonymously, of course, and with names changed to protect the relevant,) about their first few years as Senshi in the lull between Stars and Shit Escalating Again. Even more astoundingly, she manages to get it optioned as a film and play Sailor Mars without blowing her cover! Rei seethes. Minako’s annoyed because she tried out for Usagi. Usagi’s just happy Minako’s successful. The film manages to pick up nominations come award season, and Michiru even arranges for the rest of the Senshi to attend. Minako loses to some film from a really overrated director that manages to out-award bait her reenactment of D-Point. She’s silently fuming through his acceptance speech when he’s Burning Mandala’d mid-sentence. And that’s how the Senshi discovered that Jadeite survived getting run over with planes, joined the entertainment industry after Beryl’s defeat, and had been using it to drain energy ever since! Sailor Mars’s speech about how he disgraces the passion of filmmakers everywhere and her comrade’s hard work goes viral. -- Regalli  [LOVED THE TWIST ENDING, also Rei basically stealing the awards show stage, as we all know she would]

~~

*  Not Senshi, but cats! One day, when Usagi is queen, she's going to decide to knight the cats. Luna thinks it's silly and figures Usagi is just acting on a whim, but Artemis has his chest puffed out and is glowing with pride. They're given tiny medals made by Endymion. -- RibbonFinale  [Oh I DID want this. I wanted this very much, THANK YOU.]

~~

*  Makoto can't culture bonsai trees. It's not a matter of ability, or scale — she can work with tiny tools with equal facility as large ones — but she can't bring herself to push the things down, to cut and twist and bind them to grow the way _she_ wants, not the way it wants to grow.   The tiny pine she bought to try it out, years ago, is in a pot in the corner of her apartment; it's just now grown taller than she is. -- Taperwolf  [I didn’t expect this one to hit me as hard as it did when I started reading. Love it, love it, love it.]

~~

*  You know those 'meetings Usagi doesn't know about'? the ones where the girls dive into the nitty gritty about being senshi, the ones where they decide who will take up being the Disguise Pen Decoy if Minako is killed? Usagi knows about them. it was one of those 'character A eavesdrops and hears character B talking about them' setups, but instead of hearing Ami call Usagi a ditz, she hears Ami saying 'I'm the weakest fighter, if Minako is assassinated and we need someone to be decoy it'd be easier to explain away my absence than Rei's or Mako's' In these meetings they speak very coldly about themselves, Ami is always first to call herself the weak one, Minako calls into attention her showboating, Mako will openly remind people she doesn't think things through on the battlefield, and Rei derides herself on her inability to keep her cool (heh) and they all come up with contingencies to cover for eachother to the minutest detail. Usagi only ever evesdrops on one of these meetings, but now she knows they happen. and she can't un-know.  -- Vega  [OOOOOOOOOOOOOO.]

~~

Manga Sailor Pluto has picked her nose 2,013,417 times. -- too ashamed to say  [WHY THE SHAME THIS IS CORRECT  AND NOW RIGHTFULLY CANON]

---

I’ll be drawing for the bonus liveblog around the start of THE GIFTENING 2020 (currently looking to be Monday, 11 January 2021). Each bonus question is another chance to earn an entry! I CAN ABSOLUTELY AND SHAMELESSLY BE BOUGHT.

[aster-aspera]

One love, one house

CW: food mention, loads of fluff

Relationships: romantic DLAMP

Chapter title is from sweater weather by the neighbourhood

read on ao3

Masterlist for my superhero AU

Patton loved his roommate, he really did, but he was just a little eccentric. Patton could deal with the sneaking in at hellish hours in the early morning, and the mud he tracked into the appartement and the faint smell of antiseptic and blood that was always present in their bathroom.

He could even deal with his roommate occasionally forgetting his tasks or even disappearing for days on end.

But this was just unacceptable. Patton stood in front of a near empty fridge, only a refrigerated tupperware full of noodles and a jar of pickles left.

“Virgil?” He called.

His roommate looked up at him from under his messy bangs, dark circles that seemed to take up half of his face under his eyes. He really should stop sneaking out at night. Patton had hoped he would have gotten more sleep during the holidays, but it seemed his roommate was determined to work himself into an early grave.

“What have you been eating?” He asked, pointing to the fridge.

Virgil gaped at him for a moment as the question made its way into his sleep deprived brain.

“Uhm, noodles?” He said, sounding unsure of himself.

“Just noodles?”

“And pickles, I guess.”

“During the holiday season?”

“Yes?”

Patton sighed. Virgil just continued staring at him, seemingly unaware of why Patton was so upset.

“You did eat something other than noodles on Christmas, right?” He asked, his voice edging on desperation.

“I dunno, when was Christmas?”

Patton snapped.

“Nope, this is unacceptable. I don’t care if you celebrate or not, but you should at least eat something.”

“I ate.” Virgil grumbled.

“Noodles!” Patton interjected.

“And it’s not like I had a lot of time on my hands to cook an elaborate meal.”

“One, it’s not that hard to throw some vegetables into a wok and two, what are you even doing during the holidays, it’s not like we have classes.”

Virgil looked down.

“Studying.” He mumbled.

“More like studying , with the way you look.”

“I don’t look that bad.”

“You look like a corpse, a cute corpse, but still a corpse.”

Virgil flushed and Patton had to fight not to coo. He was just so cute.

“Whatever, are you free tonight?” He continued.

“Uhh, sure? I have something at 11 though.”

“That’s fine, I’m cooking you dinner tonight and we’re going to have a little holiday celebration.”

“Patton, I don’t really celebrate Christmas.”

“It’s not about Christmas. I just want to have a nice night with my friend and while I’m at it, I want to make sure you’re eating something for once.”

“Ok, fine. We’ll have a holiday celebration.” Virgil groaned, but he didn’t seem totally against the idea.

Patton cheered.

“Okay, I’m going to pop over to the store first. We’ll need ingredients.”

“It’s fine, you don’t have to bother yourself too much.”

“Nonsense, I love cooking for others. Also, we’re all out of food except noodles, so I’d have to go shopping anyways.”

Virgil had the decency to look mildly guilty at that.

Virgil accompanied him to the store. Which, unlike Patton had expected, did not speed up the shopping process, but only slowed them down as they fooled around.

“Okay, okay. Let's get this done quickly, thyme is money.” Patton said, waggling his eyebrows at Virgil.

“What the hell am I doughing here.” Virgil groaned.

Patton gasped. “You made a pun!” He exclaimed.

“Yeah well, don’t expect too many of those. I wouldn’t want to oatverdo it.”

Patton gasped in delight.

“The s’more puns you make, the s’more i love you.” He proclaimed and Virgil blushed beet red.

Patton giggled as he looked at Virgil having fun. His roommate was usually a lot more reserved and morose. He had no idea what had happened that had put Virgil in such high spirits, but whatever it was, Patton was grateful. The smile that graced Virgil’s face was the most breathtaking thing he had seen all week.

Patton looked away, aware he had been staring just a little too long.

The meal was delicious, if he said so himself, and Virgil seemed to agree. He lounged back in his chair languidly, sleepy from the good food. He looked better than Patton had seen him all month. The colour had returned to his cheeks again and his eyes sparkled.

Patton silently congratulated himself on a job well done.

“That was great, Pat. Seriously.”

“I’m humbled by your compliments.”

Virgil smiled.

“Where did you even learn how to cook like this?”

“My moms taught me. They made sure to teach me all the basic survival skills like cooking, laundry and how to snare and skin rabbits.”

“Snare rabbits?” Virgil laughed.

“I lived in a forest, I had to be able to take care of myself. They taught me all kinds of other cool survival stuff too.”

“Nice, my mom barely taught me how to turn on a stove.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Virgil waved him away. “My parents just had other priorities in my upbringing. Maybe you could teach me to cook something other than pasta?”

“I’d love to.” Getting to cook and spend more time with Virgil? It sounded like heaven to Patton.

Virgil looked at the clock and suddenly shot up.

“Shit, I have to go. I’m sorry. Thanks for the food, Patton.”

“It’s fine. Anytime.” Patton watched him leave with an empty feeling in his stomach.

He didn’t mind his roommate’s odd habits, but sometimes he wished he didn’t always run off.

~

Patton had to be honest, when Virgil had first told him about his boyfriends, he had been quite shocked.

Not because of the boyfriends, plural. Patton was pretty sure he was polyamorous himself.

No, it was the fact that quiet, shy, reserved Virgil, the guy who Patton had never seen interact with anyone except Patton, had somehow gotten himself not one, but two boyfriends.

And yeah, maybe he did feel a sharp stab of jealousy when Virgil first told him. He wondered how his boyfriends had gotten him to realize they wanted to date him. Patton had been trying to make his feelings clear for months now and was almost convinced Virgil was aromantic.

They must have yelled something along the lines of “We have romantic feelings for you” to get through that thick skull of his.

Patton didn’t resent Virgil for dating them, he was happy for him. Virgil really needed something good in his life.

And now, here he was, cooking up an elaborate meal for Virgil’s boyfriends.

When Virgil had told him about his boyfriends and the fact that they had been going steady for a while, Patton had insisted they come over for dinner sometime.

“I have to make sure they’re not going to break my best friend’s heart.” He had argued.

Virgil had complained at that, but his boyfriends had agreed and a date had been fixed.

Patton had maybe gone a little overboard with the meal. Two curries stewed on the stove and he was just about to throw the homemade falafel into the pan. In the oven, naans he had made from scratch were baking.

He hoped they liked Indian.

Virgil let his boyfriends into the appartement and wow, they were hot.

One of them, the shorter of the two, beamed at him, his smile perfectly blinding, and walked over to him.

“Hello, you must be the charming Patton I’ve heard so much about.” He said with a theatrical bow.

The taller one walked over to them with a more reserved smile.

“I’m Logan and this character here is Roman. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Virgil has told us a lot about you.” He stuck out his hand.

“Really, he has?” Patton felt a warm glow at that knowledge.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you too.” He continued.

“So you’re the one who’s been keeping our Virgil alive?” Roman asked him.

“What?” Patton asked.

“V has a lot of skills, basic self care isn’t one of them.” Roman clarified.

“We’re happy he has such a good friend.” Logan added.

“Well, I’m happy to take care of him. But, yeah, self care isn’t one of his skills.”

“As much as I appreciate you guys bonding, I can take care of myself.” Virgil interjected.

“Debatable.” Logan said.

Roman seemed to have noticed the food bubbling on the stove by now.

“Ooh, indian.” He exclaimed.

“It smells good.” Logan complimented.

“Well, it’s nearly done, so get seated and I’ll bring the food over.”

“You guys are in for a treat. Pat’s the best cook I know.” Virgil informed them.

Patton blushed at the high praise.

“I must say I’m intrigued.” Logan said, while taking a seat at the table.

Patton turned off the stove and added a few leaves of coriander before carrying the dishes over to the table.

“Do you need a hand? It looks like a lot.” Roman offered.

Finally, with Roman’s help, the table was set and they all dug in, dipping their naans into the curries Patton had made.

Roman moaned theatrically.

“God, this is just heavenly.” He praised.

“It’s great Patton.” Virgil offered.

“Yes, it is quite splendid. What spices did you use?” Logan asked him.

“Well, this one has chilli powder...”

“I can taste that.” Virgil grumbled.

“Turmeric, cumin and coriander and the other one has bay leaves, cardamom, cinnamon, cloves and more chilli powder.”

“That’s a lot of spices.” Roman said.

“That’s the secret to Indian cooking, the things they can do with spices is just magical.” Patton replied.

They talked more.

Logan told him he was studying theoretical physics at the university where Virgil also studied.

“Wow, theoretical physics. Isn’t that like black holes and stuff?” Patton asked, intrigued.

“Oh boy, don’t get him started.” Virgil muttered.

Logan paid him no mind.

“That’s one aspect but it’s also so much more. It touches on all aspects of our lives.” With that Logan launched into an impassioned speech about all the things theoretical physics touched on and the different aspects of it.

Patton didn’t understand everything he was going on about, physics hadn’t been his best subject in school, but he enjoyed listening to Logan all the same. He had a way of speaking that drew you in. It was clear he really enjoyed the subject he was studying. Patton felt like he could listen to Logan for hours on end. A glance at the others told him they felt the same way, both of them staring at him with fond expressions.

“I apologise. I was rambling again, I have been told I have a tendency to do that.” Logan cut himself off.

“What? There’s nothing to apologize for, it was really fascinating.”

Logan smiled softly but didn’t go on. An awkward silence fell over the table.

“So!” Patton piped up brightly. “What do you do, Roman?”

“I’m studying to become a nurse actually.”

“Really? cool!”

They chatted about all kinds of things. Roman complained about the amount of things he had to learn. Logan told him it was nothing compared to what he had to study. Virgil lamented about annoying professors. And Patton listened, feeling a little like an intruder but a part of it all the same.

They complemented each other perfectly. Patton had no idea how they had met or what made them such a good team, but it must be something wonderful indeed.

In that moment, Patton wished so fervently he could be a part of it. He barely knew Logan and Roman and yet he could feel himself falling for them even now.

They didn’t seem to mind him being there, roping him into the conversation easily.

Logan smiled at him from across the table and Roman slung an arm over his shoulder, laughing at one of his puns.

Virgil was just getting up to refill the water jug, when an alert on his phone went off. All three of them jumped up.

“We have to leave.” Logan said, looking at his phone.

“Shit, I’m so sorry Patton.” Virgil repeated for what seemed like the thousandth time. It felt like whenever Patton was finally making progress in his relationship, something interrupted.

He didn’t mind the weird habits, he just wished he would let him in on his secrets. Hadn’t he proved his trustworthiness to Virgil?

They left him with the dishes and an empty feeling in his chest.

~

Roman, Virgil and Logan sat at the dinner table while Patton busied himself in the kitchen, finding comfort in the familiar routine of cooking. A tense silence filled the usually cozy apartment.

“How long have you known?” Logan asked finally.

Patton looked at Virgil when he answered.

“Probably since the first month.”

Virgil stammered. “I thought…”

“You thought what Virgil? That I didn’t notice you sneaking in at five in the morning? That I didn’t notice that whenever you ran off during dinner, Storm was suddenly on the news? That I didn't notice all the cuts and bruises you collected? You thought, what? That I was stupid? Blind? Deaf?” He knew he was being unfair, the others looked tired and miserable and guilty. But all his frustration at being left in the dark for years was bubbling over.

He was so tired of being treated as stupid, of being left behind when the others had to attend to hero bussiness. He was tired of lying awake worrying about them.

Patton returned to chopping the leeks with more force than absolutely necessary.

“We wanted to protect you.” Logan said, guilt colouring his voice.

“I don’t need your protection. I think you saw that tonight.”

“Yes, we were wrong. I realize that now. We apologize”

“I don’t.” Virgil said.

Patton stared at him. “What?”

Virgil stood up and faced him. “I’m sorry about lying to you, but I won’t apologize for trying to protect you. It’s bad enough these two are out on the streets, I don’t need another untrained civilian risking their life.” Virgil gestured at Roman and Logan, who didn’t look happy about being called untrained.

Patton laughed bitterly. “I’m not untrained, that much should be clear. And what makes you so trained then?”

Virgil sighed.

“When I said my parents had other priorities in my upbringing, I meant it. Instead of learning maths and chemistry, I learnt how to fight, how to take down a grown man, how to disappear into the shadows.”

“Why?” Patton asked, he was aware Virgil hadn’t had the most traditional upbringing, but this wasn’t what he had expected.

“I was to be an assassin, but the company we worked for disbanded and my mom decided to give me a normal life.” He explained coldy, it was clear there was more there, but Patton decided now was not the best time to ask.

They were all tired from the events of the evening and Patton really just wanted to curl up in bed and sleep for another week. All his anger at his friends keeping him in the dark had faded, leaving him with just his exhaustion.

He turned back to the quiche he was making, with store bought dough, his mom would be shocked, and slid it into the oven.

“I’m just happy you guys are alright.” He said, extending an olive branch.

“Well, we were lucky our valiant knight in shining armour came to our rescue.” Roman said, his voice lacking his usual flamboyance.

Patton sat down next to Virgil and laid his head on his shoulder. Virgil wrapped his arm around him.

“You guys are lucky I knew where you were.”

“Yeah, how did you do that? Do you have us micro-chipped or something?” Roman questioned.

Patton just smiled mysteriously.

~

Patton popped his head into their bedroom, where Janus was talking into a phone. Patton listened for a moment as Janus talked to someone in rapid fire French, sounding mildly irritated.

He noticed Patton standing in the doorway and held up a hand signaling he would be done soon. He rolled his eyes and mouthed “Grandmother” at him.

Patton stifled a giggle. Janus’s grandmother was notoriously difficult.

“Oui, oui mémé, je promets.”

He put down the phone with a sigh.

“Why is she like this?” He sighed in exasperation.

Patton wrapped his arms around Janus’s waist and nuzzled into his neck.

“It’s ‘cause she loves you, honeybee.”

“Loves to annoy me, more like. Anyways, did you need something, mon cœur ?”

“Yeah, you said you’d help with dinner?”

“Course, give me a minute, I’m coming.”

“I’ll go peel the potatoes.” Patton bounced down the stairs.

On the couch, Logan and Roman were attempting to watch a period drama, keyword, attempting.

They were currently critiquing the costumes in the show, Roman in particular was raving about corsets on bare skin.

Patton smiled, he loved them both very much, but watching a movie or show with them was nearly impossible. They both had trouble keeping their thoughts to themselves.

“Having fun?” He asked as he pressed a kiss to Roman’s forehead.

“Corsets on bare skin, Patton! What is wrong with them?” Roman flung his hands up, nearly knocking Patton’s glasses off.

“Whoops, sorry.” He apologized.

Patton kissed him again and gave Logan a quick side hug.

“You guys enjoy, I’m going to get started on dinner.”

“I highly doubt I will be able to enjoy it, considering all the mistakes in the writing and costuming.” Logan muttered.

Janus joined him in making dinner and together they worked efficiently. Janus was a great cook and a good help in the kitchen. Together, they managed to make something good without getting in each others’ way too much.

Janus put on an old timey jazz song and as the food sizzled on the stove, they slowed gently in the kitchen.

The door opened and Virgil blew in with a gust of cold air. He groaned as he dropped his bag on the floor.

“Everything all right, mon amour?” Janus questioned.

“Just tired, training was hard today.” Virgil sighed.

“Yeah, I see. Go take a shower.” Janus wrinkled his nose.

Virgil made to kiss Janus but he warded him off.

“Go shower first.” He instructed.

“I want a kiss.” Virgil whined.

“I’ll give you a kiss.” Patton said.

“Don’t enable him.” Janus groaned but he pressed a quick kiss to Virgil’s nose.

Patton drew Virgil in for a soft, gentle one and then pushed him in the direction of the shower.

“Go. Food’s nearly done.”

Right on cue, Roman bounced into the kitchen, Logan trailing behind him.

“Food’s ready?” He asked.

“Not yet. Will you guys set the table?” Patton asked.

As busy clattering filled the kitchen, Patton felt a smile slip onto his lips. Janus noticed and wrapped his arms around him.

“What are you thinking about?” He whispered into his ear.

“Just thinking about how lucky I am.”

“Yeah, we really are.” He sighed.

They smiled as Virgil entered the kitchen and promptly got wrapped up in a hug from Roman.

[miminorenai]

Chapter 2

Sebastian “Mimi —··· you don’t have any injuries, don’t you?”

MC “Huh, y-yes!”

MC comes to her senses with that very calm voice.

MC “Um, Sebastian too, are you hurt......

Sebastian “I don’t get hurt just by catching you.”

(I-if so, that’s great, though.)

With the warmth of the kiss remains on her lips, somehow MC manages to pretend to be calm, despite being greatly shaken.

MC “Thank you very much for saving me.”

Sebastian “It’s dangerous, so please be careful from now on.”

MC “I’ll be careful. Like, really careful.”

Just as MC’s trying to hold back her throbbing heart that doesn’t seem to settle......

Sebastian “By the way, I think we’d better get up from each other soon.”

(Huh? Ugh, I left Sebastian lied underneath me!)

MC “I’m sorry......! I’m really, truly sorry!”

Sebastian stands up as if nothing happened, follows after MC who gets up in a hurry.

Sebastian “No need to worry about it. You must be shaking, since you’d been falling down from the stepladder.”

Sebastian “I’ll check again, but you aren’t injured, are you? Is there any scratches or pain......

MC “I’m perfectly fine, no problem!”

Sebastian “I feel relieved. Well then, please take a rest today.”

MC “T-then......*if you insist, **pardon me for leaving.”

[*お言葉に甘えて - literally - I will let myself be spoiled with your kind words; I will let myself follow your nice words; I will accept your kind offer

[**お先に失礼します -  pardon me for leaving (first) (used when leaving a workplace while others remain)

Sebastian “Thank you for your hard work.”

MC hides the lips that touch Sebastian with the back of her hand and averts her eyes.

(Sebastian’s attitude doesn’t change at all. I wonder if he didn’t realize it......) 

(Or, is it my imagination that I thought our lips touched?)

When MC is about to leave while carrying over a hazy feeling......

Sebastian “............Mimi.”

Sebastian “Although it’s an accident — I’m sorry.”

MC “......!”

His eyes that’s staring at her, which are not normally shaken, trembling in confusion.

(It doesn’t matter even if I don’t ask, that’s how is it, right?)

MC “No, no, it’s due to my carelessness to begin with......! Good night!”

MC clatters into the corridor, and exhales the breath she has been holding at once.

(After all, at that time......It’s an accident, so I shouldn’t worry about it. I shouldn’t, but......)

(That’s the first time I saw Sebastian’s face so close......)

Sebastian, who has been working with MC this past month, is closer to her than anyone else.

They are supposed to be close as colleagues, but now MC realizes he’s also a man, the violent throbbing in her chest doesn’t seem to subside.

(What should I do, I’m getting so embarrassed.)

(*Mou......what kind of face should I show when I meet him tomorrow?)

[*もう - interjection used to strengthen expression of an emotion (often exasperation)

Early next morning.

(Act normally. Act normally. Calm down......)

When MC goes to the dining room while maintaining her *usual mind dedication, Sebastian’s opening the curtains.

[*平常心 - one’s natural self

Sebastian “Good morning, Mimi.”

MC “Good morning. Let me help you.”

Sebastian “Then, may I ask for you to take care of the opposite windows?”

MC “Leave it to me.”

(I’m glad we could have conversation as usual.)

(......Or rather, Sebastian hasn’t changed at all.)

Although it’s a bit of disappointment, as MC opens the curtains while still feeling relieved of their usual interaction......

MC “Eh......Sebastian, that flower is blooming.”

Sebastian “That flower?”

MC “Look, that bud we found together in the flowerbed a while ago, the tiny one —

Sebastian “Where is it?”

When MC points out of the window, her shoulder touches Sebastian who walks up next to her.

(Whoa......)

Sebastian “I can’t see it well.”

MC “......”

Sebastian’s face, who’s bending over, seems like about to keep close to MC and it takes her breath away.

(We-we are so close, like yesterday......)

Sebastian “Mimi?”

Stepping back in a hurry, Sebastian looks back at MC wonderingly.

Sebastian “Is something wrong?”

(Let’s get away from here for one moment and calm down!)

Mimi “I’m going to sprinkle water in the garden!”

Sebastian “It’s hard doing it alone. Let me as well......”

Mimi “It’s all right. *I’m off!”

[*行ってきます - see you later

(I’m sorry for acting strangely.)

(But right now, being around Sebastian is too bad for my heart......!)

MC wants to hide her rapidly hotter cheeks, so she leaves the dining room in order to escape.

And after that......

Sebastian “Please give Theodorus-san a pancake with more syrup and berry sauce.”

MC “Yes. ......Oh.”

When MC picks up the plate, her fingertips touch Sebastian lightly.

Her body quivers with a start, and the pancake slips off from the slanted plate.

(The pancake......!)

Sebastian “— I’ll take care of that.”

Sebastian picks up the plate with splendor movement and catches the pancake in the air.

MC “Awe-awesome!”

Sebastian “A butler must be prepared for every situation.”

MC “Sebastian is the model of a butler.”

Sebastian “I’m certainly aiming for that.”

Sebastian “Leaving that aside, what happened? You seem to be distracted by something.”

(Uu, it was so obvious......)

MC “......It’s nothing. I’ll carry this then.”

MC takes the plate this time and hurriedly gets away from Sebastian.

(So embarrassing......I’m getting very conscious of Sebastian.)

(I worry too much about every single thing. Just concentrate well on your job, me......!)

That afternoon, Arthur and Theo asked MC to bring them coffee as they’re relaxing in the living room.

MC “Arthur, here you go.”

Arthur “Thanks. Umm~ the coffee Mimi brews is the best.”

MC “I’m glad to hear that. But I don’t think I can reach Sebastian’s taste yet.”

Arthur, who’s sitting deeply at the sofa, looks up and grins meaningfully at MC.

Arthur “Just because you’re the one who brews it, the deliciousness adds up.”

Theo “Mystery writers with their overly subjective speaking manner.”

Theo “Well, hondje’s doing a good job, but Sebas’s brewed coffee is certainly delicious.”

MC “It’s not only the coffee. I think his cooking is very delicious as well, and his cleaning is flawless.”

(Beside that, he’s very knowledgeable......Is there anything Sebastian can’t do?)

Theo “Why is it hondje who’s looking so proud?”

Theo gives a wry smile while drinking his coffee that’s full with sugar cubes.

Arthur “Of course it’s because Sebas is so competent that she wants to brag about her colleague, right?”

Arthur “We’re grateful for the dramatic improvement in our lives, thanks to Sebas.”

MC “Is it so different than now?”

Theo “The quality of life before he came was terrible. You could say the mansion was a lawless area.”

(To that extent, huh.)

Arthur “Everyone drank, ate, drank and woke up as they please, isn’t it?”

Theo “This writer with all year-round mating season would constantly spending the night away.”

Arthur “If so, then Dazai too had been wandering around. ......Wait, that guy hasn’t change at all even now, has he?”

MC “I see, it’s like a share house with no rules.”

MC “But there was no butler at that time?”

Arthur “Sometimes we brought in housekeepers. But, it’s hard to keep live-in employees.”

MC “Hard?”

Theo stares at MC in puzzlement and shrugs his shoulder.

Theo “Hondje, have you forgotten our identity?”

MC “Ah, vampires, you mean?”

Theo “There’s really nothing else beside that. Even if a butler or servants are hired, it’s difficult to keep the secret if we are living together.”

Theo “There’re not many strangers who can work here, knowing the truth.” 

(Sure, when I got lost here, I tried to escape immediately.)

While MC’s deeply convinced based on her real experiences......

Dazai “But then le Comte discovered Sebas-kun, a commendable butler.”

(Ah, Dazai-san.)

Dazai smiles as he gets into the room through the window, like usual.

Dazai “I owe it to him coming that I came to be able to eat miso soup and boiled tofu.”

MC “That is to say, without Sebastian, this mansion wouldn’t go around.”

Dazai “Quite so. It’s no exaggeration to say that our lifeline is in Sebas-kun’s grasp.”  

(I’ve felt it many times during the past month, but Sebastian really is doing everything, and everyone is relying on him.)

Even her share of workload as a helper was difficult for MC.

But until then, she is surprised to hear that Sebastian had done everything by himself.

(His etiquette is perfect, I wonder if he learned the conduct of a butler back when he was in modern era?)

(He sure is a man with lots of mysteries. Ah, but speaking of which......)

MC “Sebastian......have you ever missed your home and thought of wanting to go back to the present-day?”

Sebastian “No. Placing myself among history is something I couldn’t hope for.”

Sebastian “I — since I abandoned this world myself.”

(I don’t know the exact details, but Sebastian wants to stay here.)

Arthur “What’s wrong?”

MC “Ah......somehow I think I’m the only one who’s staying here by the course of events.”

MC “Since I’m not in this world for some purposes.”

Theo “In your case, it’s inevitable, isn’t it?”

(That’s true, but......)

Dazai “Again, your stay in this mansion is an inevitable outcome. I already considered Toshiko-san as ‘*my lady’.”

[*うちの子 -  子 here usually used to mention one’s child/daughter/son, but it’s considered weird for Dazai to consider MC his child (tho it’s kind of acceptable, with his lifetime adding to the additional time of his revived life, I think?), and it’s also could be referred as young woman, so I decided ‘lady’ is better used here~

Arthur “Do you perhaps mean it as ‘the mansion’s lady’? There’s an objection if you’re calling her as yours alone.”

Dazai “Well, I wonder~”

While paying no attention to their frivolous talk, MC vaguely thinking about her future.

(Everyone and Sebastian are choosing to stay in this mansion with a strong will.)

(How much longer will I stay here, I wonder?)

(I don’t know what would the future stores for me, so I guess I’ll just spend my days somehow as it is......)

He suddenly stops walking by the lively voices heard from the room.

Sebastian “......”

While listening to Mimi and the others’ conversation, a pensive (or worried) look shown on Sebastian’s face for a moment.

[great-jenna-bake-off]

Season 3 Episode 6: Queen of Puddings

I started watching GBBO at least four years ago, and yet I still do not know what a pudding technically is. Sometimes it seems to just be a catchall term for “dessert”. This VOX article claims that “A British pudding is a dish, savory or sweet, that's cooked by being boiled or steamed in something: a dish, a piece of cloth, or even animal intestine,” which is confusing, because I don’t think I did any of that for this week’s bake. (There were certainly no animal intestines involved.) But whatever a pudding is, this week I made the Queen of Puddings, at least as defined by Mary Berry.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/queen_of_puddings_79904 

Step one was to grease a ¼ liter shallow ovenproof dish, which I do not have. Off to a great start! In my defense, there is only so much room for baking equipment in my apartment’s kitchen. I dug this dish up from my parents’ house and went with it because it was oval-shaped, like Mary’s example photo, but it definitely doesn’t qualify as “shallow”. 

Good enough.

Next up was to make a custard. First, I heated up milk, butter, lemon zest, and sugar in a sauce pan.

Does this count as “boiling or steaming” something?

Then, I carefully poured my warm egg mixture into a bowl with my egg yolks, which I had already separated from the whites. I whisked it together, and a custard was born.

Custard!

To make this custard more substantial, it is poured over a base of bread crumbs. Mary’s recipe specifies “fresh” bread crumbs, but I did not have a bunch of semi-stale bread lying around, so pre-packaged bread crumbs it is.

I told myself after my last bake that I’d stick to the recipe moving forward. Clearly that lesson did not sink in.

Crumbs + custard

I put my dish into a roasting tin, filled the tin with water, and stuck the whole thing in the oven.

At least my dish fits in the tin.

While my custard baked, I turned my attention to the next element of my bake: jam. Mary’s recipe suggests that you can use store-bought jam if you don’t want to make your own, but I have never made jam before and figured it was one of those things that was bound to come up sooner or later. Plus, I knew the bakers would have to do it, and I wanted to stay in the spirit of the competition. So I gave it a shot.

I used a mixture of raspberries, strawberries, and blackberries, since that’s what I had on hand in my freezer, but it seems any “summer fruit” will do.

I had some trouble getting my frozen berries to fully reduce into a cohesive sauce, and after what felt like ages of cooking time, my jam still seemed a bit watery with big chunks of fruit.

I guess this also counts as “boiling something”…

I decided to run my jam through a strainer, which didn’t help my watery-ness issue one bit, but I managed to mash the bigger pieces of fruit against the strainer to make them more sauce-like, and reincorporated it into the strained juice to produce something that could pass for jam, albeit a very runny one.

It’s a pretty color, at least.

Meanwhile, it was time to pull my custard out of the oven. I think I overcooked it slightly, but I had trouble getting the custard to set as much as I felt it should.

I baked the custard for about 35 minutes, instead of the 20-30 specified by the recipe.

While my custard cooled, it was time to make meringue. Luckily, I had some egg whites just sitting around that I had to separate from their yolks for the custard earlier. It’s always nice when a recipe doesn’t waste ingredients. Those egg whites and a bit of sugar quickly became meringue.

Thanks, KitchenAid stand mixer!

Finally, it was time to assemble. First, I put my jam on top of my custard. I vastly overestimated how solid the custard was and dumped a whole bunch of jam right on top, which caused it to mix in a bit with the custard. I quickly realized that it was better to gently spoon the jam on top of the custard.

Hopefully didn’t mess up the layers TOO much.

Next, it was time for meringue. I piped little poofs all over the top of the dish.

I’m actually very proud of my piping on this one.

And with that, the whole thing was ready to go back in the oven to brown the meringue. Not too difficult, all said and done. But would the bakers agree?

Sarah-Jane isn’t feeling too confident heading into the technical, as per usual. “You just have to kind of draw on everything you know about… everything… ever… in the space of five minutes,” she says.

I think Sarah-Jane might be my spirit animal.

Ryan has somehow never made custard or jam before, which leads me to question his GBBO preparation techniques.

Even I’ve made custard before!

Mary explains that the Queen of Puddings is many families’ favorite pudding, which I guess presumes that said families eat a variety of puddings on a regular enough basis to choose a favorite.

I’m really hung up on this whole “pudding” thing, I know.

As the bakers prepare their custards, Mel explains that they shouldn’t bake their custards too long or the surface will crack. I’m now thinking back to my own custard, which definitely had some cracks in the top. Whoops!

I mean it will be covered in jam and meringue… no one will know. 

Next, it’s time to move on to the jam, and Brendan seems to be some kind of jam savant, explaining that he’s looking for a soft-set jam. After all, he says, “There are some advantages to being older… you learn the setting point of jam.”

Showoff. 

Like me, John has some problems with the jam running into his custard, although his are much worse.

“Mary’s going to slap me in the face,” he moans.

The bakers seem intimidated by the meringue layer, which I find confusing. Meringue just… isn’t that hard?

Here, Danny whips up a second meringue, worried that her first one was too runny.

Finally, all the puddings are in the oven. 

Classic GBBO on-the-floor oven-watching pose.

Brendan seems to have gotten a nice golden brown color on the top of his meringue. Will this be the key to a technical challenge win?

Like a perfectly roasted marshmallow.

During the judging, Mary announces that the glass dishes they gave the bakers were part of her evil plan, so she and Paul can see how even the layers are on the puddings.

Feeling grateful for my ceramic dish right about now…

Unfortunately, James has overcooked his custard, which means it came out watery. 

Would I fall victim to the same pitfall?

In the end, Brendan’s lifetime of jam knowledge proves useful, and he takes home the win.

It does look like a rather royal pudding. 

My pudding was ready to come out of the oven, but would it be fit for a queen? First, here’s Mary’s example pudding… 

That’s a very elegant shallow dish.

And here’s mine.

Look at that piping!

The slice admittedly didn’t look too delicious, but there’s a reason Mary’s photo only includes the dish – I just don’t think this one is meant to look pretty on the plate. The show also didn’t really showcase what the bakers’ slices/scoops of pudding looked like. So I’m pretty sure mine is about right. Also, Mary’s recipe said to serve with “pouring cream”, so that’s what the puddle is around the pudding, not melted custard. (The bakers did not seem to do that in the show).

I thought my Queen of Puddings was pretty regal, actually. The meringue had good volume and was nicely crispy, and the jam and custard layers actually held up on the plate. But now it was time to see if my esteemed panel of judges would agree.

***

Matt’s Review: I was actually full from dinner when I dug into this pudding, and I was worried it was going to be too heavy. But as soon as I took my first bite and felt how soft and airy it was, I quickly ate the whole thing. Turned out, that’s a purely mouth-feel thing and I got a horrible stomach ache. But it was worth it. It’s a bread mush with surprisingly complicated flavors—sweetness was potentially the least pronounced one there. The fluffy texture (which I have to assume Jenna nailed) really let you focus on those flavors. It’s a balancing act, and the pudding landed it gracefully. I have no way to fairly judge presentation, but I will add that there’s nothing better than having a Tupperware full of pudding arrive at your door.

Wilson’s Review: Beautiful presentation, clearly defined merengue structure. Some nice peaks, clearly have a steady hand with the piping. But, the color’s a bit light isn’t it? In the future maybe keep it in the oven for a touch longer, or up the heat. Cutting it open you’ve got some nice defined layers, well done. Flavor is good, you can really taste the summer in the jam. The lemon isn’t really coming through, and that’s a key element to balance the sweetness of the jam and the crisp of the meringue – need that acidity. Overall a very good bake, worthy of being served on anyone’s summer table. 

***

Final Thoughts: As Matt mentioned, the pudding was delivered to him in the least royal of ways, dumped unceremoniously in a Tupperware and left on his doorstep. So sadly he didn’t get to witness the beauty of my pudding in its original form, and personally, I thought it looked great. I also enjoyed eating it – the meringue was crispy on the outside, soft on the inside, and the custard was smooth and creamy. The jam was definitely a little runnier than a store-bought variety, but I did like it enough to use the leftovers on toast for several breakfasts, so it worked out well enough. And to Wilson’s point, it needed a little more browning on the top of the meringue – perhaps I should have used the broiler at the very end to get that nice golden color. Overall, this was not a particularly tough bake, which was a nice change of pace after trying to get pie dough to defy gravity for the last bake. I still don’t know what a pudding is, but I did enjoy eating it.

[theonlyjourneythatmatters]

Another day, another pound

So I know I said I was going to post yesterday, but I had a very long day and I was tired, so I didn't feel like it. I've struggled this week with motivation and energy and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because of this heat- I don't know.

But with that said, I'm here now. And I've learned a few things! As I've said before, I am no expert and do not claim to be. I just know what's been working for me and that I can share that knowledge and experience with ya'll. So here we go.

What I learned this week:

It's better to get your bulk calories in at the beginning of the day. Breakfast should be your heaviest calorie meal. If you prefer a light breakfast, then focus your calories at lunch. This is because you're more likely to work off those calories during the day than you are at night after dinner. I know a lot of people prefer a heavy dinner- but this is a major reason why that weight doesn't come off like you want it to. You're not burning off those dinner calories!

Everything you do burns calories. Well, I didn't JUST learn this- I've known this. But for some reason, it didn't click! So don't think ONLY strenuous exercise will help you burn calories. Of course, exercise will help you burn them faster in a shorter amount of time, but if you can't get to the gym every day, you're still burning calories.

My apple watch tracks everything. I wear it from the time I get up in the morning til I'm ready to lay down for the night. And what's better than counting my steps? It counts the calories burned, too! Adding this at the end of the night helps me keep a better estimate of what I've taken in vs put out for the day for calories. Do yourself a favor- invest in something that keeps track of that (watch, fitbit, etc). It is well worth the money especially for weight loss.

Sundays are for meal-prep!!!

I meal prep for the following week(s) on Sundays. I typically prep every other Sunday for my work lunches. I do -not- meal prep for dinners.

Every Sunday, I prep my snacks for the week (usually strawberries and blue berries). If there's a new item I want to eat, I'll prep that up as well. Today, I wanted to add cabbage soup to the work lunch mix. SO, that's what I did. I made it in the instant pot, so this is the instant pot recipe- but this can be adapted for a regular stove top. I included pictures for reference so ya'll can see the sizes.

I also decided to meal-prep some breakfast; which I do not normally do. But the meal replacement shakes don't seem to be working as well as they had been previously, so I'm going to retire them for a bit.

Cabbage Soup

Ingredients:

2 heads cabbage, medium; chopped in large chunks

3 pieces of thick sliced bacon (I used Great Value brand); chopped and cooked

1 15oz can tomato sauce (Great Value)

1 bag Premium matchstick carrots (Bolthouse Farms- 3.5 oz bag)

1 sweet Vidalia onion, medium size; chopped in small pieces

1 tbsp. of the following: course sea salt, ground black pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, Slap ya Mama Cajun seasoning (or Tony Cacheres- I like my soup to have a bit of a kick, but you can decrease or increase this amount to suit your tastes)

7 cups water (divided- explained in steps)

Directions:

Put the instant pot on sauté and set for 20 minutes. Chop the 3 pieces of bacon into bite sized pieces and begin to cook them until brown. (I cooked mine a little longer so the crisp wasn't completely lost in the soup)

While the bacon is cooking, start cutting up both heads of cabbage. Cut them into 1-1 & 1/2 inch chunks after removing the core. Set aside in large bowl.

Once the bacon is cooked to your liking, add 1/2 cup of water to "deglaze" the pot. This gets up all of that stuck-to-the-bottom flavor that you need. DO NOT DRAIN THE BACON. We need the grease.

Begin to add the cabbage a hand full at a time, making sure it mixes with the water and bacon pieces. Allow each batch to wilt down some before adding the next batch. Continue with the cabbage until it's all incorporated. Once complete, add 1/2 cup of water.

Add the carrots and mix with the cabbage and bacon mixture.

Add all of your seasonings into 1 cup of water and pour over the top of the cabbage. You can mix it now if you want to, or you can wait.

Set the instant pot to pressure cook, and set for 10 minutes. Once the 10 minutes is passed, allow the pot to Natural Release for another 10 minutes. After the Natural Release is done, use the manual release. * NOTE: this is a dish with a good amount of liquid. Use a potholder to dish towel to put over the valve when you do the manual release to avoid any splattering liquids.

Once the pressure is released, stir the soup and taste test it. Add any seasonings you feel like it may need.

Chop the onion into small pieces and add it to the soup. Add the entire can of tomato soup, and 5 more cups of water. Stir well. Pressure cook for another 2 minutes and allow to Natural Release for another 10 minutes. Give it one last stir and taste test, and enjoy!

Step one: Sauté the bacon. Ya'll see all that bacony flavored goodness stuck to the bottom?? We WANT that.

Step two: Cut the cabbage. Size isn't that important- but you do want bigger pieces as cabbage likes to shrink!

Step Four & Five: Mix the cabbage and carrots and allow to wilt a little bit

Finished product: big bowl of deliciousness

This recipe yields 20 cups of soup, which is 10 full servings. There are 48 calories and and 4.8g of proteins in a single cup of soup- but I recommend 2 cups being the serving size.

*This recipe can be changed to fit your specific needs. I do not add meat to mine other than the bacon, but you can add chicken, stew meat, etc. You can also add different veggies. I sometimes add canned diced tomatoes but I didn't have any today. Just be mindful of the added calories and adjust the recipe to reflect that (especially if you're using a calorie counter that allows you to create customized meals).

I got 6 meals out of it (would have been the full 10 but I only had 6 available soup bowls); my husband and I had a bowl each, and so did my son. There was some left but no one wanted it so it got thrown out. It was delicious and filling. And the best part? SUPER low on calories! Most soups are; and I will be adding more to my blog as I make them! I make a knock-off Olive Garden Zuppa Toscano, so that might be my next endeavor!

Breakfast:

For this meal-prep, I used eggs, Conecuh sausage links, bacon (same as the one I used for the soup), and sausage patties.

Breakfast # 1: Scrambled eggs, thick sliced bacon, and Conecuh sausage

Ingredients

2 eggs, scrambled

1 tsp butter (I used Country Crock Churn Style)

1 tsp shredded cheese (I used shredded Colby and Monterey jack Great Value brand)

1 oz Conecuh sausage (you can use any type of sausage- I just prefer this brand)

1.5 slices of thick cut bacon (Great Value brand)

Course sea salt

Ground black pepper

Directions

Make 2 eggs, scrambled with butter and whatever seasonings of your choice

Add the cheese to the eggs when they're almost done cooking

Cook the bacon in the air fryer for 6 minutes (time varies depending on how crispy you like your bacon)

Cook the Conecuh in the air fryer for 7 minutes

Put the eggs in to a freezer-safe bowl

Cut the Conecuh and bacon into smaller pieces and put on top

Freeze

This recipe yields 1 full serving. It has 295 calories and 20.5 grams of protein.

Breakfast 2: Scrambled eggs, Conecuh sausage, and sausage patties

Ingredients

eggs, scrambled

1 tsp butter (I used Country Crock Churn Style)

1 tsp shredded cheese (I used shredded Colby and Monterey jack Great Value brand)

2 sausage patties (I used Tennessee Pride)

1 oz Conecuh sausage (any brand, this one is just my preference)

Course sea salt

Ground black pepper

Directions

Make 2 eggs, scrambled with butter and whatever seasonings of your choice

Add the cheese to the eggs when the eggs are almost done cooking

Cook the sausage patties in the air fryer for 8 minutes or until cooked through

Cook the Conecuh in the air fryer for 7 minutes

Put the eggs in to a freezer-safe bowl

Cut the Conecuh and sausage patties into smaller pieces and put on top

Freeze

This recipe yields 1 full serving. It has 481 calories and 29.6g of protein.

But enough of the recipes......

Like I stated previously, it's important to get the bulk of your calories during the day so you have the opportunity to burn them off. I've just been walking. I walk at work, I walk around the house- when I shop, that's when I get a lot of steps in.

Granted, walking doesn't burn a lot of calories. However, if you have your tracker on, throughout the entire day, you'll have burned at least 1 full meal off. It is also especially important to stay hydrated. Water no only helps with cutting down muscle pain (when you exercise), drinking a full 8 oz of water before each meal and after can help you feel fuller faster, and feel fuller longer.

I purchased a QuiFit 1 Gallon Water Bottle from Amazon. It arrived today and I plan to use it at work. I have the worst time drinking enough at work. The water from the sink tastes funny. We have a fountain that fills water bottles, but and don't always remember to bring a bottle of water that I can refill later. The simplest solution was to buy a water bottle and keep it at work.

I think that's all for today, guys. I have school work to do! I'll make a post later next week (unless something cool happens before then that I need to mention) that details what types of foods I eat for dinner since I do not meal prep those.

Have a great day, and thanks for reading!

XOXO, Lauren <3