#it was definitely not normal for me to daydream about and be excited to die. that wasn’t normal right. people don’t do that usually right???

[low-battery-warniing]

vent sorta. idk im just yapping tbh

oh fuck I just realized that I’ve been getting suicidal thoughts since the age of ten isn’t that sooooooo fun

[findafight]

Kinda want to write a one-sided ronance post S4 au (within a fix it obvs) where the older teens start actually hanging out and Stobin (eventually + Vickie)confuse literally everyone. They greet each other with cheek kisses, call each other babe (or "Stevie Baby". Listen. Robin calls him bud or buddy or bub or bubba or babe and it's like why so many B's?? Argyle is vibing with it though and joins the bud train) and one time at two in the morning had a coordinated ramble about the names of the cats they will eventually get. (Sassafras, moonshine, and Garborator)

Nancy and Steve haven't really talked about anything, other than Steve saying "hey. I'm sorry if whatever I said weirded you out. I was definitely a bit delirious and Robin and Eddie AND Dustin were all making comments about winning you back or whatever which is stupid, you made it clear where you stood with me. Which wasn't with me. That's fine. and like. Okay yeah when we were together I'd daydream about you being beside me in the motorhome but thats-- it was a daydream. I was sort of thinking I was gonna die and. I wanted to share a little dream that made me happy. And then got everything confused in my head and made it weird and I'm sorry. what I'm trying to say is I'm sorry for being weird and making things uncomfortable. I'm over you. I loved you then, and you were my first real love, and maybe if things were different I could love you like that again but. But neither of us want that or the same things out of life. And we'd crash and burn again. Plus you and Jonathan are together which is a non-starter. Cannot believe I forgot that when it was happening. Jesus. So. Yeah. Sorry for being not a great friend and hitting on you in the Upside Down." And Nancy had nodded and told him not to worry about it. He had been sort of bleeding out and planning on going back into the upside down. They could both be normal about it.

Sometimes Nancy and Robin try to have "girl time" at Nancy's suggestion because they're the only girls in the older group (sometimes. But Robin is not going to let that slip out) but it's awkward without a buffer. Robin is too nervous and rambles and Nancy is too annoyed by it. But they do get on well in group settings, and Steve and Argyle are actually the keenest to smooth over any awkwardness.

Robin laughs more with the group, and grins at Steve and smirks at Eddie and has a sharp tongue Nancy can admire. She's more comfortable with Steve around, insisting he sit beside her or on the ground in front of her so she can play with his hair. (And Nancy is shocked the first time she sees it, because Steve was notoriously protective of his "best feature", but she'd asked and he'd hummed quietly as she takes her fingers through his hair and put tiny, lopsided braids in it.) It's nice to see Robin less jumpy, and wonders what it would take to see more of the side of her Nancy only sees when Steve's around. She just wants to get closer to Robin. Wants a friend.

And somehow, beyond Nancy's notice, Steve and Robin's friend Vickie slowly joins the group. She wasn't involved at all in the spring, but has been hanging around Family Video and a movie night or two often enough that when she settles more permanently in the group it isn't a very big surprise. Eddie and Argyle welcome her in with open arms, Jonathan is only his normal amount of weary of new people, and obviously Robin and Steve are excited for their friends to be friends.

But it just doesn't sit right with Nancy. She can't pinpoint why, it just doesn't. When she sees Robin and Vickie giggling together, or having some back and forth banter that seems to feed into both of them smiling, or Steve throwing his arm over her shoulder, or Vickie leaning into Robin's space as they talk. She always sits beside Robin, Steve on the other, with Eddie beside him. It's usually a tight fit for whatever couch they're on, but the four seem happy as clams to not have any personal space. Once Argyle decided to lay across all their laps, and they just...let him. Finangled themselves so everyone was mostly comfortable.

Nancy figures she is uncomfortable with it because she hasn't ever had a close friend since Barb, and was possibly hoping she could be close to Robin along those lines. So seeing her so close with the others and mildly uncomfortable around her hurt, and seeing her and Steve incorporate someone unversed in the Upside Down into their little trauma club also hurt. Because what did Vickie have that Nancy didn't? That made Steve and Robin and now Eddie stick to her like glue? That made them want her there when she didn't know anything about what they'd been through and could probably never understand?

What made Vickie Summers so special that she's taken what should have been Nancy's place beside her friends? Because that's what really bothered her. It wasn't that Vickie didn't know, it's that Nancy felt she took her place. That Nancy wanted to be where Vickie was, and she didn't know how to ask for it. Asking, trying to talk about how Steve and Robin had bonded so well after Starcourt while she ignored them and then how they bonded with and absorbed Eddie halfway into their bizarre dynamic after vecna, would feel too much like begging or admitting that she isn't quite sure how to make friends.

Nancy is jealous. Jealous that she isn't friends like Vickie and Eddie and Steve and Robin are. That she isn't the one making Robin smile and giggle so cutely. So. She tries harder. Tries to be the friend that Robin and Eddie and even Steve deserve. She tries not to be annoyed by Robin rambling (it really isn't that bad, just. Not relevant. She likes heading Robin's voice, but thinks she could really work on having a filter.), or the way Steve always asks clarifying questions when he should really have known better, or Eddie talking half in different character voices. She thinks it's getting better, her relationship with them. But, still, Vickie is always there, glued to Robin's side almost as much as Steve is, and that always annoys Nancy. Niggles at her brain, that she doesn't deserve to be there because she didn't know what Robin had lived through and fought. Nancy did.

Eventually, Nancy figures out that she wants more from Robin. Doesn't want to be a friend she smiles at occasionally, wants to be the reason she smiles all the time. And that's terrifying. Because Nancy had never considered liking girls, never thought liking girls was a thing she could do. It was something other women did, not Nancy. She liked boys and always had, but. But maybe she always liked girls...too. maybe it wasn't something she that was one or the other. Being different in a town like Hawkins puts a target on your back, being queer in a town like Hawkins even moreso.

She's leaving Hawkins in the fall. But she thinks she wants someone to come home to. She wants Robin to come home to. Robin and Steve seem to be okay with it, from what she can glean of some veiled comments they've made that she's only caught now she's looking for them. They've made some remarks around the kids that make it seem like they'd be safe to come to, no matter what. And sometimes, some of the comments Robin makes about actresses seem a little...well. admiring.

They probably, hopefully, wouldn't hate her for this. And now Nancy and Robin have a friendship, she thinks she can. It's early July, and Nancy is going to ask Robin out.

She gets her alone, bites her lip, and asks Robin in no uncertain terms to go out on a date with her. Robin stares, mouth agape.

"oh," she says.

Nancy smiles, a little. "Yeah. So. What do you say?"

Robin blinks, and takes a shuddering breath. "Oh my god. I. Nancy I'm really flattered but I'm no-i dont- uhg. I'm dating someone." she groans, rubbing her hands over her face.

And oh. Nancy read the situation wrong "oh. Steve. It's fine! You don't like girls, thats--thats totally fine! Id just, um. That is,-"

Robin waves her hands. "No, no! I'm not dating Steve! You clocked me correctly. Definitely gay! Don't worry about that! Hah."

Something in Nancy twists. "Oh?"

"yeah. Yep. Not only am I a lesbian in a small town, I'm a lesbian in a small town that somehow also has a girlfriend." Robin says the word dreamily. Like she still can't believe it. Nancy's brain fills with static. She was too late. Too caught up with how she missed so many chances in the past, that she missed her chance now.

But Robin keeps talking. "And, like. Even if I didn't, I don't think it would have worked between us anyways. Too different, y'know?"

"what?"

Robin gestures with her hands between them. "Well, like. I like being your friend. But, I mean, I wouldn't date you?"

"why not?"

Blinking, Robin tilts her head. "Because of Steve?"

Something bubbles hot in Nancy. "What the fuck does Steve have to do with wether or not we would date?"

"Nancy. Steve's my best friend." As though that explains anything.

"yes? And?"

Robin looks uncomfortable, shifting sideways. "listen, Nancy. You're a good friend. And I've just rejected you. Maybe we should just. Ah. Leave this? I'm really sorry. I'll give you some space, just find me when you're ready?"

"no. What do you mean that we couldn't date because Steve is your best friend? Why would that have any effect on how you date?"

"it doesn't! Not really! Just. Nancy, you broke his heart. His soft, squishy heart! You kinda sorta cheated on him-details very unclear-and then just. Moved on. Pretended like nothing happened. I couldn't do that to Steve. Dating a friend's ex is a bad move. Dating an ex that broke a friend's heart is just cruel." She sighs. Looks sad. As though she isn't the one rejecting Nancy and tearing her apart for how a relationship ended almost two years ago. What did that matter, now? "You're my friend, Nancy. I like you! But even if Steve has moved on, forgiven and forgotten, and if things were a bit different given his full support for us dating if that's what I wanted, I think I'll always remember how he-- how much it hurt him."

"oh"

"I'm. Nancy I'm really sorry. I know how scary it is to put yourself out there, especially like this. It's not fair. I'm just sorry. But. It was true. Steve's the most important person to me. I couldn't ever hurt him. Not like that. Not even if he said he was fine with it."

Nancy stands and walks away. She doesn't cry until she locks her bedroom door.

[bug-decal-kissing]

Hey friends!

Alone Inside by ackletze was updated today, with 2/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with the additional tags "Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Roommates"

You can read it here:

I AM SCARED I AM SCARED I AM SCARED. MY BOYS. MY POOR BOYS. THE ANGST IS DEFINITELY THERE. PRISMO I AM SO SORRY SCARAB I AM SO SORRY. THEY NEED THERAPY. THE ARGUMENT HURT OW OW OW/pos. This was such a good chapter, everything felt so real and now I am very scared as to what is going to happen next vbhnjmkl please let the comfort of hurt/comfort come soon/hj

And They Were Roomates by Finn565 was updated today, with 2/2 Chapters released! It has a rating of General Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with the additional tags "Fluff and Angst, Scarab has self esteem issues, They wont leave my head I can not stop thinking about them, Fluff, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Prismo is actually the best for real, Developing Relationship, Scarab is manic at one point, Touch-Starvedthey both are, Kissing, Wonder what kissing a wall is like fr"

You can read it here:

Prismo you simp/j. I love Scarab using it to tease him, like yes king you are attractive now weaponize it <3. And then they start talking about Jake and that always makes me go🥹 oh my poor boys my poor, poor boys. Scarab is finally being nice for once in his lonely life/j. He can't comprehend that Prismo just wants to be nice to him my poor stupid boy/lh.

Day Jobs and Daydreams by RainSparks29 was updated today, with 5/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with the additional tags "Slow Burn, Exes, Enemies to Lovers, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Office, except the office is not present much, it exists in spirit, Narcolepsy, prismo has narcolepsy, Scarab's POV, I like these guys, Hurt/Comfort, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Grief/Mourning, implied prisjake, No beta we die like Jake"

You can read it here:

I was HYPED for this one, I love this work so much, it's just written so well !!! I feel bad for Cosmic now that he has to sit between these two doing whatever the heck they're doing/j. And now Scarab knows that Prismo is at least a little attracted to him, and he has to be normal about that; I could never. I love the way everyone is written in this work, the characters just work so well !

Golden Eyes by Kurei16 was updated today, with 3/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Explicit and Graphic Depictions Of Violence, with the additional tags "Alternate Universe - Pirate, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, no proofread, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Torture, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Panic Attacks"

You can read it here:

MY BOOOOOOOOY NOT MY BOOOOOOOOY-- PRISMO YOU PIRATE B IT C H/hj. I'm so excited about this fic, I love the pirate AU, even if it makes me want to be violent against my favourite pink sticker man/pos. Scarab is going to need some therapy after this; too bad it's too early for therapists/j. I am HYPED to see nightmo soon too !! I don't know if he'll be worse than Prismo, but the bar is set pretty high right now/lh.

A new work, Like Looking In A Mirror, by phoenixash234flames, was published today, with 1/1 Chapters released! It has a rating of General Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with the additional tags "Multiverse, Sort Of, part of wedding wishes but also not really, AU-ception?"

You can read it here:

I love this series so much, they get to be SOFT and MARRIED <3. I'm glad Orbo is at least a little bit nice, letting them go to Fionnaworld. Also, very in-character of Prismo having no actual plan when they got there. Empty-headed king/j. I always like it when they get to see Fionna and Cake again, it's funny when they realise what's going on between Scarab and Prismo fvgbh They are so silly and it's so nice :].

Seraphyllic-⭑-Prohibited Wish by DrakianDH was updated today, with 4/15 Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and Graphic Depictions Of Violence along with Major Character Death and the additional tags "scarab the god auditor - Freeform, prismo the wishmaster - Freeform, Priscrab, ProhibitedWish, Scrabby, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, no beta we get turned to legos like the lich, Adventure & Romance, Story within a Story, Eventual Happy Ending, Maybe - Freeform, Author Is Sleep Deprived, The Author Regrets Nothing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, You gotta work for the comfort, begining poem important, each chapter a word, prepare"

You can read it here:

Cosmic Owl once more has to sit and watch these two do whatever the heck they're doing/pos. Scarab may be acting like a little baby who wants to sit in his room and brood for the rest of eternity, but at least Prismo is being nice about it wbhdencrf They finally get a chance to be soft and it's so good :,]. I'm now extra scared about the upcoming chapters/lh.

Silly Bug by TJade was updated today, with 2/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with the additional tags "Genderbending, Domestic Fluff, Teasing, Humor, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change, Suggestive Themes, Awkwardness"

You can read it here:

More of the girls YES PLEASE !!! And we get a little bit of Fionna time too :] ! It's so funny that she sees Carrie and is immediately like 'oh glob not SCARAB,' at least Carrie is nice to her <3. Cake has no filter but that's okay because she's a little kitty. I love seeing them interact with Fionna, she is reeling dcvfgbhj

That Won't Fly With The Boss by just_a_somebody has been updated today, with 5/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with the additional tags "Prismo x scarab, ProhibitedWish, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Headcanon, might've given him trauma, please just hear me out - Freeform, what if scarab had wings like scarab beetles are supposed to?, key word had, it makes sense with canon(to me at least), My first fic, Be nice to me, Post-Canon, and they were ROOMMATES, this can probably be considered as scarab having ptsd, PTSD, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Lovers, Developing Relationship"

You can read it here:

HYPED for this work too !! Poor Prismo has to deal with Scarab's little guys form, he's lucky they're so cute/j. I love the way Prismo treats them and just how he treats Scarab in general, king is trying his best <3. They get to be soft and it's GOOD !! More people need to write about Scarab's little guy form(/nf), the possibilities of him getting up to no good are endless.

NSFW works are below the cut :].

A new work, got you in my mind, by rizzy_luke, was published today, with 1/1 Chapters released! It has a rating of Explicit and No Archive Warnings Apply, with the additional tags "Masturbation, prismo is whipped, i blacked out and end up with this, ig theres some plot elements here??, theyre texting now"

You can read it here:

Prismo is so down bad it isn't even funny anymore/j. I love the soft office AU, and getting a work from Prismo's PoV is always a treat :]. The ending made me cackle; Scarab you have no idea what you are doing to him <3/lh.

A new work, Touch, by kiripiry, was published today, with 1/1 Chapters released! It has a rating of Explicit and No Archive Warnings Apply, with the additional tags "Fluff and Smut, Fluff, Anal Sex, Biting, First Time, Blow Jobs, Touch-Starved, Prismo wants to touch things, and scarab is helping him, confession kinda?? cause they are idiots, written from a shutdown nest, My First Fanfic, very self indulgent"

You can read it here:

These GOOBS are so GOOBERLY !!/pos. I love how they get to be intimate without having actual sex at the beginning. They are relishing in their human bodies and it is so nice :]. Absolutely smitten for each other too. I love it <3

[killerandhealerqueen]

7 12 25! 💕

Holly my beloved! Thank you my dear!

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most?

Eh....great question, actually. I don't really know, tbh...

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

Ooo...well, I'm excited to get back into writing for Killer and Healer again, so Die Trying is DEFINITELY on the top of my list but I also have to finish my Carlando mafia x hitman au "The Boy Is Mine" but also a lestappen fic called "A Flower By Any Other Name" has been plaguing my thoughts but that fic and any other F1 fic is gonna have to wait until I AT LEAST finish Die Trying. Cuz I've been really hyping her up and I want to work on her again (also I just miss writing for KnH in general)

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

No, not normally. Most fics are usually just one and done. The only time a fic has ever had a sequel was my KnH x S.C.I. crossover. I had written one called "Jing City Meets Hong Kong" which was the first story and then the second fic "Cross Jurisdiction" is kinda like the sequel, but mainly just because it's another crossover between them. But other than that, no, most fics of mine don't have spin-offs or sequels or whatever

35 Questions for Fanfiction Writers! ✨ | send me asks

[j4zz4lop3]

Nobody’s gonna see this but here’s another loredump on my daydream characters, this time it’s a story within a story, as i have a made up band called fluoride stare, who make music more as soundtracks to movies they record than standalone albums and one of the, is a straight up self insert and has my name and pronouns but functionally they are not me. This is the second one i made up but chronological for them it’s the first one

The movie itself is called Starflesh, it’s about 4 people who ran a photography blog together, they were always interested in capturing the paranormal (you know what i mean, ufo hunter type beat) which brought them to Grandpine, a small town, most of which is taken up by a thick forest. Some of the residents had brought in reports of paranormal activity while out hunting, going for a walk etc. the actual living area of the town was so small they didn’t have their own police station, rather they relied on the police of the neighboring town, who obviously didn’t really care about a few paranoid people who lived in a whole separate town, so the problem was being mostly ignored, until one day, through a Facebook post from one of the residents, our protagonists learned about a non-deerlike deer, whatever that meant, any normal person would’ve scrolled past it but they were completely enamoured by the story, they immediately tried to contact this man and interview him for their blog. He told them about how when he went hunting the other day, he had seen a relatively small and weak looking buck, just as he came closer to it, he stopped, he noticed how the animal was moving in an almost unnatural way, flopping around and hitting its body on trees, it’s eyes were milky white, when he let off a warning shot in the animals direction, it didn’t even flinch, it was totally unfazed, a normal deer would have ran away by that point, he was unsettled and ended his hunt early that day, he insisted the animal couldn’t have been sick, there was definitely something else up with it, and he didn’t want to find out what.

Captured by the story the protags decide this would be a great opportunity for their blog, and practically shaking with excitement, they went on a 3 hour trip, to see the creature for themselves, but little did they know what they’d find in those woods, would be much greater of a mystery than just an oddly acting animal

This is about time i introduce them, as always using picrews because i can’t draw

Salem/Sal (character he’s played by is named Adam bc as i said story within a story). He has a tendency of not taking things seriously enough when he has to but it also helps him keep his cool in stressful situations.

Rose (played by Laura) she’s loud and enthusiastic but also loses her temper quickly.

Clayton/Clay (played by Charles) can a guy be a mom friend? Is that a dad friend? A dad friend feels like a different thing. Anyway he’s very protective of the group and pretty much the general voice of reason here

Bianca (this is the self insert i mentioned)

Long story short because i gotta go to bed they end up cursed and unable to leave the woods, there’s different scary monsters. each time they die they’re reborn but their previous bodies stay as they were so if they become undead now they have to deal with extra monster creatures and the only way to free themselves is to get to the root of the cause of why all these creatures are appearing and stop it. I might post more about them but for now that’s it

[ohmyasmodeus]

𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘶𝘮 𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 ❖

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

♡ 𝘭𝘶𝘤𝘪𝘧𝘦𝘳 ; 𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘳𝘵

✧   Sure, Lucifer is looking forward to appreciating art and the history behind each piece, but he finds himself much more excited to spend more time alone with you. History can be preserved, but every moment spent with you is simply irreplaceable; he ends up surprisingly spending more time gazing at you than admiring the artwork.

✧   You make him feel young again. In between displays, he sneaks kisses, mischievously pulling you away from the crowds just to hold you in his arms for a stolen moment. Lucifer adores the way you fall into his arms with soft laughter, and it makes him cradle your face between his gloved hands while he whispers about the way everyone looks at you like you’re a work of art.

“But do you?” You ask softly.

“I always do, ______.” Silhouetted by the gallery lights, he pulls you into a tender kiss full of emotion; a moment that no doubt belongs among the displays of beauty and immortality that surround you.

✧   Lucifer is the kind of person to actually read the little plaques beside the pieces that go into detail about the artist and the intentions behind their art. It takes a while for him to take it all in, but you don’t mind— it’s very cute to see him have to bend down and squint to read them.

✧   Your day hardly ends there. Even as he takes you home, he very much enjoys discussing your opinions on the works included in the gallery and the artists behind them. It’s Lucifer’s way of getting closer, trying to decipher how your mind works, how you view art pieces that are open to multiple interpretations. It’s his favourite part. He loves you and your brilliant mind.

♡ 𝘮𝘢𝘮𝘮𝘰𝘯 ; 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘴𝘤𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 / 𝘢𝘳𝘵

✧   Your demon is the definition of a kinaesthetic learner. Mammon fits right in with the kids that run around the place, tugging on your hand as he begs you to come play these games with him! He never wants to do anything without you and you end up being basically dragged around the museum. But it’s okay because he’s cute!

✧   While surrounded by so many people, it’s even easier for him to get flustered about affection. His cheeks flush red whenever he thinks too hard about holding your hand, whether it’s to bring you somewhere, or just to hold your hand for the sake of it. The back of his fingers brush against yours, making you smile.

“Hm? What do you want to show me?” you ask as you take his hand to intertwine your fingers with his.

Mammon fidgets with his free hand before shoving it into his jacket pocket, looking away with a brilliant blush. His voice is quiet as he mumbles, “N-nothing, I just… wanted to hold your hand. Or whatever.”

✧   He’s much smarter than people like to give him credit for at times, and surprises you with bits of information he picks up that you couldn’t understand. At the same time, it’s hard to stop him from gushing about how cool it was to see that chunk of sodium explode when dropped in water and how he wants to watch that over and over again.

✧   Mammon runs wild in the gift shop, especially at those little archaeology or mining kits that let you dig through hunks of sand that claim to contain a piece of gold. Of course, there are a million things the both of you want to buy for yourselves, but so little money to do so with. He settles for something small in the end, because he wants to be able to buy something small for his brothers too.

♡ 𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 ; 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦

✧   From the beginning, Leviathan is absolutely fascinated. The calming atmosphere of the museum and being completely surrounded by his element makes Levi relax, even if he’d normally panic and try to hide from the people that walk along the exhibitions with you. But even then, you make sure to hold his hand just to reassure him a little more.

✧   Just like he rants about pretty much anything he has an interest in, Levi rants about the equipment on display and compares weapons or ships from different eras to each other, as if he’s talking about mere video game stats. It’s actually kind of hot to see him act like the Grand Admiral of hell’s navy is supposed to.

✧   Treat him like a Grand Admiral, actually. His brain totally short circuits when you lean into him and put a hand on his chest and gasp about how knowledgeable and strong he is.

“Oh captain, my captain!” you sing as you pepper his face in kisses, making him squirm in your arms. His face is beet red as he attempts to cover it with his hands.

“People are- they’re going to see us!” Levi whines.

You laugh and kiss him properly, arms wrapped around him tight. “That’s the point, baby! I like it when people know I’m yours.”

✧   He actually gets a little sad when he sees the bones of massive whales or the various preserved remains of sea life on display. They all feel like a part of him. At times, he feels like sea animals understand him much better than people do, and he has to give your hand a squeeze as the two of you through the section. At least he brightens up when you tell him that most of these specimens die a natural death or were cared for during their life.

♡ 𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘢𝘯 ; 𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺

✧   His choice of museum goes without explanation. Humans are frail creatures that are essentially doomed to make the same mistakes again and again, despite a new era or millennia, but Satan still finds their history remarkable. He’s fascinated with seeing the butterfly effect ripple through time, sparking wars and conflicts. It makes him wonder about the universe’s decisions— especially the ones that brought you to him.

✧   Satan has always been more fond of reading the ancient texts on display or translating archaic inscriptions on bronze age charms, but when he’s with you, he finds himself more drawn to the elegant gowns and elaborately crafted jewellery on display. You always find his emerald eyes lingering on you, imagining what you would look like in something so grand. Your beauty stuns him in every way, especially with the way you smile at him while framed by the display’s lights.

✧   “I thought you wanted to learn,” you mumble with a quiet laugh into the kiss that Satan pulls you into. The two of you are wrapped in each other’s arms in the back of a crowded amphitheatre, making an attempt to watch a historical film.

In the darkness, Satan’s blush goes unseen, but you feel it in the heat of his face as you kiss him back eagerly. “I’ve learned enough about humans, ______. I want to focus on my favourite one now.”

You close your eyes, and so does he. History couldn’t matter less, not when it feels like the two of you are the only beings to exist, the only people that matter.

✧   Despite wanting to learn, Satan finds himself getting dragged into shenanigans with you as you voice historical figures with the goofiest accents and clown around with some of the interactive props. He laughs along and snaps a million pictures of you to keep, and he supposes that humans aren’t the only ones that make recurring mistakes. After all, he lets you loosen him up and lets you force your way into his heart time and time again, but he still can’t force himself to complain about it.

♡ 𝘢𝘴𝘮𝘰𝘥𝘦𝘶𝘴 ; 𝘧𝘢𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘰𝘯

✧   Beauty in its different forms has always mesmerised Asmodeus. Museums have never been his thing, but with a fashion museum, you might just be able to change his mind. He goes between gushing about the textures and layering of different pieces to gushing about you and how amazing you look today!

✧   Asmo is always on top of the latest trends, but there’s something that always brings him back to the ostentatious allure of baroque and rococo dresses. He loves reading about the rise of these styles, but he would rather pull you along into a waltz as the quiet ambient music plays around you, the both of you giggling and referring to each other as ‘lord’ and ‘lady’.

✧   Or ‘your majesty’ and ‘my consort’...

✧   You, as always, expect him to pull you away somewhere quiet to make out and be general public nuisances, but Asmodeus surprises you this time. He’s far too busy taking pictures of you together and of just you alone, his amber gaze so soft as he contemplates your beauty. He ends up leaning in serenely as the two of you find yourselves alone together in a gallery.

“You’re gorgeous,” Asmo mumbles with a smile, delicately tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear. “There’s just something so magnetic about you, I can’t look away…”

“I don’t have to say it back because you know you’re handsome and your ego is big enough... but there’s nothing that can compare to how lovely your soul is.” You chuckle softly, resting a hand affectionately on the side of his face. Asmo rests his forehead against yours, wrapping his arms around the back of his neck with a delighted giggle, delighted in knowing that you see him beyond his superficialities and flaws.

✧   He buys you a set of jewellery from the gift shop, and not one of the cheap ones either. He splurges on one of the most expensive professionally made vintage sets because he really wants to daydream about you dancing with him in those rococo dresses, the most gorgeous royal couple in the world…

♡ 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘻𝘦𝘣𝘶𝘣 ; 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘵

✧   Delighted by the more colourful and almost bizarre applications of mixed-media art (think Yayoi Kusama), Beelzebub enjoys contemporary art the most. He’s easily fascinated with the elaborately abstract displays, and quietly wraps his arm around your waist as the two of you gawk at stunning larger-than-life works that probably get him a little hungry.

✧   He’s a respectful visitor and likes to stay silent so he doesn’t disturb the quiet atmosphere for everyone else appreciating the art. It ends up in him having to lean down and murmur softly in your ear when he has something to tell you, his warm arms pulling you into an embrace that you never want to leave.

✧   Workshops! Please bring Beel to the workshops because they’re his favourite part of museums. No matter how hungry he gets while putting in so much effort, he’ll sit still and work hard to make you something you can treasure.

“Do you like it?” he asks with a smile as he presents you with a little figurine version of one of the sculptures featured in the exhibition, hand painted by him. It’s easy to notice how the colours he picked out match your features. “It’s yours.”

“I love it, Beel! Oh, it’s wearing my coat and everything!” you gasp. The elated smile he gives you is absolutely priceless, and you can’t help but tiptoe to kiss him in thanks for his hard work.

Beel lets out a soft laugh and nuzzles his cheek into yours. “I really liked the art, but it felt like something was missing… Maybe the exhibition would’ve been a lot more beautiful if you were an art piece on display too.”

✧   Bringing him to a museum like that just might inspire him to create art by himself. After creating something for you, he feels hooked on it! You find him doodling a lot more on his homework and giving you the most endearing drawings of things you like, or his own hilarious renditions of what Lucifer looks like when he’s about to burst a blood vessel. Beel definitely has a hidden talent for caricatures.

♡ 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘩𝘦𝘨𝘰𝘳 ; 𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺

✧   Humans? Belphegor has had enough of them for a lifetime and can’t be bothered with learning more about them, but natural history is something that captivates him. There’s a kind of innocent wonder in his eye as you lead him around the exhibitions, marvelling at the displayed remains of the massive creatures that came before, wondering how they evolved into the tiny little animals of today. (But it’s probably also morbid curiosity with the way he looks at preserved carcasses and skeletons.)

✧   But you’re an exception to him. He's tired of humans but never of you, even if he jokes about it at times. Even if he knows about most of the things on display, Belphie is still asking you to tell him about them because he just loves hearing your voice. Coupled with the soothing silence of the museum, it almost puts him to sleep.

✧   “Don’t fall asleep! You paid to watch this!” you whisper when Belphie rests his head on your shoulder. You want to pay attention to the dinosaurs beating the shit out of each other in the surprisingly well-rendered 3D documentary, but you can’t help but gaze at your boyfriend instead, and the way he looks in those dumb 3D glasses.

“I won’t,” he mumbles, rolling his eyes. “You’re warm.”

“You’re a little leech, you know that?” Despite your snarky tone, you lift up the partition between the theatre’s seats to let Belphie snuggle into you. Just like a leech, he’s immediately all over you with his arms wrapped tight around your waist, chuckling as he buries his face in your neck.

✧   You wouldn’t expect it, but he’s also the kind to go wild in the gift shop, albeit in more subtle ways— like staring really hard at something or carrying something only to put it down for you to get the hint. He ends up getting the both of you a big plushy to cuddle and name on the way home.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

[hanoella]

Affettuoso- With Feeling (Part 9)

Pairing: Bucky x Pianist!Reader

Set after the events of TFATWS: In an effort to start over and make a home in Louisiana, Bucky meets a friend of Sam’s who ends up being his landlord. With only a driveway to separate them, he finds that he’s not the only one looking for a fresh start.

Series tags/warnings: Slow Burn, Eventual Bucky x Reader, Mentions of Domestic Abuse, Canon Level Violence, PTSD, Mentions of sex, sexual activity

Part 9 Word Count: 8.1k

A/N: Sorry this one took a little while, I was super busy in real life! I went back an forth on it alot and I don’t think I’m going to write full on smut, but definitely there will be mentions and allusions to sexual activity. Thanks for being patient with me for this part!

Once again, thank you for all your support! Every heart and comment motivates me and is just so wonderful.

Taglist!: @vicmc624​ @officiallykuute​​ @undiadeestos​ @tailsoflightning​ @buckys2thicc​  @mischief-siriusly-managed​ 

On Christmas day, you and Bucky went over for dinner at Sarah’s. You had gone together in your car, gifts for everyone in tow. Hanging up your coat, you were greeted cheerfully by Sam, Sarah, and the boys. Bucky watched as you knelt down to hug the younger one. The warm glow of the entryway giving your hair an orange glow.

AJ grabbed Bucky’s hand and started dragging him to the living room.

“Uncle Buck, come look at the presents I got this year!”

You gave Bucky an amused smile when he looked at you first. Lifting your eyebrows, you nodded your head slightly. Watching him get tugged along, you chuckled to yourself before heading to the bathroom. You washed your hands before pressing them onto your cheeks to cool them. Letting your hands fall to the sink, your eyes fell upon the pearl earrings that were swinging from your ear, gold filigree glinting in the light. Delicately touching one of the pearls, you thought back to that morning.

You were in the kitchen, cooking up a special breakfast for the day. Normally, you skipped breakfast in favor of sleeping in, but with Bucky being up by 7 AM latest, you were starting to adjust to his natural schedule. It was hard to stay asleep when your personal heater got up and walked away. He had brushed the hair out of your eyes as you stirred, saying that he was going to go for a run and shower. Curse that beautiful fit bastard for waking you up every morning.

Not being able to go back to sleep, you had walked out of your room to find that he had also gotten the fireplace going. Alpine was curled up on the end of the couch closest to the fire. Now, you had a breakfast quiche and bacon going in the oven as you flipped the batch of pancakes on the stove.

“What’s all this?” Bucky said as he walked in through the front door, freshly showered.

“Special morning breakfast, of course.”

He walked over to you and kissed your cheek, crouching down to look through the window of the oven.

“Wow, look at that. What did I do to get so lucky?”

You chuckled as you put the last of the pancakes on the stack. Toweling off your hands, you opened one of the kitchen island drawers and pulled out a small blue box with a silver ribbon. You placed it on the counter in front of him, waiting expectantly.

“I got you something.” You were barely able to contain your excitement. Bucky held the box for a moment before gently tearing the wrapping paper. Quirking his head at the packaging, he looked up at you.

“Coms?”

It took you a second before you registered the lingo.

“Oh, no, they’re wireless earbuds.”

He opened the box and took the case out, flipping it in his hand to look at it in it’s entirety. You grabbed the manual and slid his phone over to you, turning on the bluetooth.

“Can you open the case?” you asked, not looking up from his phone. He did so, seeing the earbuds and a blinking green light. You tapped a few more things on the screen and the green light stopped blinking.

“Go ahead,” you said, nodding your head at him. He put in one earphone, then the other. You opened up Spotify, which you had downloaded on his phone for him to link to your account, and played a song from your ‘classics’ playlist. You could tell exactly when it started because Bucky’s eyes lit up and a huge smile started forming on his face.

“That sound quality is great!” He half shouted. You tried so hard not to laugh at the old man side of him. After listening for a few more seconds, he took one out of his ear and examined it.

“This is a great gift!” he said animatedly, pointing at the earbud in his other hand.

“I’m so glad you like it! I was thinking about the last time I sent you a recording of the concert, when you were on your last mission, and you said you didn’t have headphones.”

“That’s so thoughtful, thank you. But nothing will ever beat listening to you in person.”

The smile that he gave you as he said that made your face flush.

“I also have something for you,” he continued, fishing out a small box with a shiny gold bow from the pocket of his sweatpants. He held out the small maroon leather jewelry box for you to take. Looking at him curiously, you opened the box to see a set of dangling pearl earrings. The post of the earrings were reminiscent of French crest, the gold filigree encasing three tiny pearls. Hanging from each crest was a raindrop-shaped pearl.

“Oh my goodness, they’re beautiful, Buck.” You said as you laid out the earrings on your hand.

“Go try them on.”

He followed you to the bathroom where you put the earrings on and turned your head to admire them.

“These are beautiful.” You said as you turned to face him, linking your hands around his neck. “Thank you.”

“You look beautiful, and you’re welcome.” He smiled down at you, pulling you to his chest and resting his chin atop your head. “Anything for my best girl.”

Taking a deep breath, you smoothed out your sweater and walked back out to the living room where Bucky was letting AJ talk about all the different features of the toy dump truck he had gotten. You sat down next to Bucky and gave him a nervous smile. He smiled back and put a hand on your upper back, though it was quickly withdrawn when Sarah and Sam came in with drinks. You stood as you accepted one, looking at Bucky expectantly. Nodding slightly, he got up as well.

“Uhm, I have a small announcement to make.” You started nervously, your unoccupied hand tucking your hair behind your ear. The boys both stopped playing at your serious tone. Sarah tilted her head in confusion but Sam had a small smirk that was starting to grow.

“Bucky and I have started seeing each other.”

Sam’s smirk turned into a full fledged grin as he gave Bucky a hug.

“Congrats you guys. That’s amazing. I knew you two were great together.” He said as he moved to give you a hug as well. Sarah followed behind him, giving you an excited smile.

“What does that mean?” AJ asked, Cass answering him.

“It means that her and Uncle Buck are boyfriend and girlfriend, AJ.”

You laughed at the older one’s serious explanation.

“So does that mean they’re getting married and we should call her Auntie or Titi?” AJ continued.

You turned beet red, fanning your face as Bucky blinked, opening his mouth but not emitting any sound. Sam was laughing hysterically while Sarah tried to keep it together as she explained it to AJ.

“It means that they’re dating, so they like each other. No one’s getting married, at least not yet.” She said, turning back towards you and winking. You turned even redder, walking towards the kitchen while Bucky just grinned sheepishly as he scratched the back of his neck.

“I’m so ready for dinner. Is anyone else hungry?” You asked as you walked away.

Sam, now calmed down, smiled genuinely at Bucky, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m happy for you, bud. Are you happy?”

Bucky nodded, smile creeping onto his face.

“Very happy.”

“Good. You deserve it.”  

---  

That night, you settled into bed next to Bucky, propping your head up on your hand as you laid on your side facing him.

“How do you feel now that we’ve told everybody?” You asked, amused smile on your face.  

“I feel great. Sam was so happy for us, and the boys were so funny about it.” Bucky answered, turning to mirror your position.

“Weren’t they? I felt like I was going to die of embarrassment when AJ asked if we were getting married.”

He laughed and you leaned forward, wrapping your arms around his waist, your ear pressing against his chest as you listened to his heart beat. He brought his right arm up, rubbing your upper back soothingly. Humming in content, you nuzzled your face into your chest, bidding him goodnight.

“Goodnight, doll.” Bucky answered back, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. Breaths slowly syncing, you drifted off to sleep together.

---  

On New Year’s Day, you and Bucky were in the middle of making lunch. Breakfast had been slept through since you both had stayed up so late. Finally, you had triumphed over the man who always woke at 6AM. Alpine walked figure eights around your legs as you went around the kitchen. The last night had been spent in each other’s company, complete with champagne and a kiss to reign in the new year. You felt a flush come over your face as you remembered how his rough palm had slid up your leg and rested on your upper thigh. You had worn a sleek silky gold dress that showed a little more skin than you normally did. It was New Year’s Eve, you always dressed up. Bucky had offered to go change to match you, but you insisted he looked just as handsome in his dark-wash jeans and red Henley. You daydreamed about what might’ve happened had Alpine not jumped onto Bucky’s lap.

Your risqué thoughts were interrupted by the kettle whistling on the stove. Moving it off of the burner, you looked over at Bucky, who was looking incredibly domestic as he searched the fridge with his back to you. It has been a long time since you’ve felt anything akin to domestic bliss, yet it was hard to imagine anything else in its stead. Sitting on the barstool across the counter from him, you crossed you arms and leaned forward to catch his attention.

“Do you have any big plans for the New Year?”

Your question caught him off guard. He tilted his head to think, wiping his hands off on the dish towel hanging on the oven handle.

“Hm. I guess I hadn’t thought of it.” He leaned forward onto the counter, bearing weight against his forearms. “How about you?”

“I definitely want to spruce up the yard this upcoming Spring. You know, plant some flowers, make an outdoor seating area, maybe a pond?” Bucky nodded as you listed the various plans. You continued, voice growing softer. “I also want to finish physical therapy, to make this place into a home, to feel good about myself… Just really start getting my life on track. I’ve wasted so much of it already. Sometimes, I feel like I’m working so hard to swim to shore, but really I’ve just been treading water- moving nowhere. I want to be better, for me and for you.”

You looked down to the side wistfully, rubbing your arms as if to comfort yourself. Bucky reached out to put his hand over yours. He opened his mouth to say something, hesitating a moment to get his words straight.

“It’s frustrating when you don’t think you’re making progress. Everything you’ve been through feels like… yesterday and a lifetime ago, all at the same time. But progress doesn’t always look like what you think it looks like. Don’t sell yourself short. I think you’ve been doing a great job.”

He brought your hand up to his lips and pressed soft kisses against your knuckles. A shy smile came over your face as he pressed more kisses to your palm.

“Sam rubbing off on you, huh?” That earned you a quiet chuckle. “That does make me feel better… Thanks, Buck.”

“Of course. It’s the least I can do for you helping me with my one resolution for the new year.”

Your eyebrows lifted in curiosity. “Which is?”

“Spending more time with you.”

Your smile grew bigger and bigger before you leaned across the counter to kiss him. That was a goal you would happily help him reach.

---  

Sam needed to go to Washington D.C. shortly after the new year started. He was needed for a fundraising event for a new children’s hospital. Being the new Captain America, he was in a position to really help out if he made an appearance, so he signed up for the 5k race and the gala that was taking place the next weekend. How much better would it be though, if he had his right-hand man beside him? So here he was, in your living room, sitting across from Bucky as he gave his best pitch.

“C’mon, Buck. It won’t be so bad. You can outrun them, so you can avoid talking to people. Then later, you just have to take one picture with me in a tux, eat all the fancy food you want, and then escape back to the hotel!”

“I told you, I’m not really one for those big events.” Bucky responded as you made your way back to the living room with several mugs of coffee.

“Oooh, what big events?” You asked, handing them their respective cups.

“I was just telling Bucky that he should come to the charity event in DC for the new St. Jude facility.”  

“Oh, that sounds awesome! You have to go, Buck.” You chimed in excitedly, earning Sam a dirty look from Bucky.

Bucky slouched backwards into his seat. He really didn’t want to be apart from you, much less to be with a pack of sweaty people. It was hard enough to leave when it was absolutely necessary for Sam to have back-up. Now he was asking if he would do it recreationally? Not a chance.

“Could he bring a plus one? My holiday vacation extends through that weekend. I just need to be at rehearsal that Monday evening. Is that possible?” You faced Sam expectantly.

“We can definitely make that happen. The 5k is Saturday morning, and the gala is that night. You’ll have all of Sunday to travel back.”

It was Bucky’s turn to be looked at expectantly. Both you and Sam were staring at him with puppy eyes.

“Well, if you’re going, then it won’t be so bad.” He said, putting his arm around your shoulder. You and Sam cheered in victory, Bucky sneaking a glance at you as you celebrated. He couldn’t help but grin at the sight of you clasping your hands together out of excitement. Of course, he’d go if you did. Being without you was pretty much the only real reason he had to not go. After all, he has a New Year’s resolution to fulfill.

---

You checked into the hotel on Friday evening, Bucky easily carrying both his and your luggage. You passed by large glass chandeliers, luxurious seating areas, and a huge ballroom that would host the gala tomorrow night. It was the first time in a long time that you had attended any high visibility events like this, but theoretically, you were fine. The odds of running into any unwanted company were slim to none, especially because you weren’t even sure if said company was still in D.C. Besides, you couldn’t hide away forever.

Maybe you were just on edge because this was your first trip away together. While you did spend most nights together at the house, you always had the safety net of having separate places to retreat. After being confined for so long, it was difficult for you to do anything without having a way out, in case things got messy. It was less about how you felt with Bucky, and more about how you felt with yourself. You did feel better, however, whenever you met his gaze and he gave you that soft smile. So, you looked up at him as you waited side-by-side at the elevator, and sure enough, he gave you what you were looking for. Subconsciously, you let out a deep breath, relaxing your shoulders some.

“You alright?” He asked, noticing your uneasiness.

“Yeah, I’m just tired from the flight.” You smiled back at him. Before Bucky could inquire further, Sam jogged up to where you were waiting.

“Sorry about that, I was figuring out the route for tomorrow.” He said just as the elevator dinged.

“No problem! You guys have fun with that, I’ll be bundled up by the finish line.” You laughed as you stepped into the elevator, pushing the 7th floor button.  

“You’re not running?” Bucky questioned, raising one eyebrow out of curiosity.

“I’d much rather not. There’s a reason why I’m a musician and not an Olympic athlete. I’ll just be cheering you on from the sides.”

You nudged Bucky’s arm with yours as the elevator doors closed. Sam glanced behind him as you two grinned at each other in your own little world. A small smile formed on his face as he shifted his eyes back forward. He couldn’t remember the last time that either of you looked this happy. It had been a long time coming, but so worth it.

The elevator dinged as it opened to your floor. Above the floral arrangement that was sitting on top of a polished wooden console table, was a sign that indicated which room numbers were to the left and the right of the hall.

“We’re room 711.” Bucky read off of the keycard. That meant you were going to the left.

“I’m in room 730 so I’m going this way. I’ll see you guys bright and early?” Sam asked, walking backwards towards his room as he pointed to you.

“Yup!” you replied.

“Yeah, see you then.” Bucky said as you both turned to walk towards your room.

Inserting the keycard, you opened the door to your suite and he followed behind, dropping the bags next to the bed. The room was definitely on the larger side, with the whole wall facing the city being glass. You walked over and pushed the floor length curtains to the side. Bucky pulled off his jacket and hung it on the coat rack before walking over to you.

“The view is amazing.” You admired, still in your coat and clasping your leather-gloved hands together. The different lights of the city gleamed like precious gemstones in the dark winter night. When you could finally tear your gaze from the window, you grabbed Bucky’s arm and looked up at him.

“What?” He questioned with a smile on his face.

“Nothing. It’s just exciting traveling with you.”

You tugged on his arm lightly to get him to lean down and kiss you. He gave you a teasing look but gave in regardless. Afterwards, you slipped off your gloves and started to shrug off your coat. Bucky quickly moved so that he was behind you and took hold of it so that he could hang it up for you. It’s little things like that, that show how soft and polite he was on the inside despite the gruff exterior he put on the outside for everyone else. He was always so gentle too. Between the door-openings, the coat takings, and the soft kisses he liked to press onto your hand, it could almost make you cry. Feeling the heat rise in your face from your overwhelming emotions, you cleared your throat and took a deep breath.

“Buck, I’m going to take a shower, do you need anything?” He hung your coat up and came back over to you, putting his hands on your waist.

“I’m okay. Enjoy your shower.” He said, pressing a kiss to your cheek before picking the remote off of the table and turning the television on. Upon entering the bathroom, you shut the door with a soft click. You started running the water and glanced at your complexion before stripping down and stepping into the steaming water. It felt wonderful to wash the airport germs off. You opened the packaging of the complimentary soaps and shampoos, relaxing at the smells of lavender and green tea.  

The shower did wonders calming you down. Giving yourself a few more seconds under the hot water, you closed your eyes to appreciate how much nicer it was to stay at a hotel for recreation instead of escape. You cut off the water and rung your hair out, stepping onto the cushiony bath mat. It was then that you realized you hadn’t brought any clothes in with you. You cursed in your head as you wrapped on of the towels around you. You could ask him to bring the suitcase or pick out the clothes but you bit your lip as you made your mind up. Securing the towel around you, you cracked the door to the bathroom open. Now or never.

“Bucky, I just forgot to grab clothes, sorry.”

Bucky had been reclined back on the bed, one arm propping his head up so that he could see the TV. At the sound of your voice, he turned his head towards the bathroom and saw your reflection on the mirror across from it. His eyes followed your reflection until you yourself actually came into view. He swallowed hard as you walked past to the far side of the bed. Your eyes stayed trained on the floor, but the blush across your cheeks gave you away. You crouched over your suitcase to fish out some clothes, using a burst of courage to look up at Bucky. He had turned his head towards you, eyes shifting downwards to watch the droplets of water travel down from your wet hair onto your collarbone, then follow the curve towards the valley of your chest before it disappeared into the towel. Bucky coughed and then quickly shifted his eyes forward, apologizing as the red crept up his neck to his ears.

“Sorry…”

“Don't be.” You said quickly to put him at ease. Gathering the clothes in your arms, you got up to go back to the bathroom when he gripped your forearm. Your head snapped towards him and you stared at each other, the air seemingly growing thick in the room. Bucky opened his mouth to say something, glancing down your body once more before letting go.

“Sorry, I’ll let you get dressed.” He said sheepishly, bringing a hand the back of his neck as he looked downwards.

“Do you want to…?”

He looked up as you let the sentence dangle in the air. He wanted to say yes, but he couldn’t find the voice to say it. The notion of being together physically was still foreign to him and he was… insecure about his body. How attractive could it be to have all that scarring right at your eye line? And it wasn’t like he didn’t want to be with you that way, it was just daunting to leave himself completely vulnerable to someone when he had never been seen in that light before. The anxiety started to close in on him. Noticing his discomfort, you bent over slightly to meet his eye.

“Hey, there’s no pressure. Let’s give it some more time, Buck. There’s no rush.” You reassured him as you cupped his cheek with one hand, holding the towel to your chest with the other.

“I know. I’m sorry. I really want to. I’m just… nervous.”

“Hey, that’s okay. That’s totally fine. Here, let me get changed and then we can cuddle. Besides, we have an early morning tomorrow.”

Bucky agreed with you, giving you a weak smile. You smiled back at him and walked to the bathroom, getting dressed in your sleep shorts and t-shirt. After drying your hair, you walked back out to find the TV off and Bucky dressed in his usual shirt and boxers. He was half under the covers, avoiding your eye as he scrolled on his phone. Sliding into bed next to him, you gently took his phone from his grasp and leaned over to set it on his nightstand. Then you leaned over his face, cupping his cheek again.

“Are you alright?” you asked.

“Yeah. I am. Sorry about all that.”

“Don’t be sorry. I should’ve just asked you to bring my bag.”

“There was definitely nothing wrong with that. You’re just so attractive, it’s hard for me to not react.”

Your cheeks grew flushed as you smiled at him.

“I mean it.” Bucky said, now sitting up, causing you to lean back. He slowly leaned towards you until you were switched positions- you on your back and him leaning overtop of you. Your breath got caught in your throat as he leaned down to kiss you. The kisses were hungry, passionate, slowly growing deeper. Then, as you moved your arm to put around his neck, it brushed the length that was straining against his boxers. He let out a small groan into your mouth and you both opened your eyes in surprise, him pulling away. His words were breathy as he spoke first.

“I’m having a trouble… keeping it down. I’m sorry to make you uncomfortable.”

You sat up. “Bucky, are you kidding? We’re kissing. In bed. I’m kind of surprised I haven’t felt you get hard before.”

He blinked, the flush growing even warmer on his face. You were still slightly catching your breath as your expression softened. You gently put your hand over his, scooting closer to him. Your tone was gentler this time.

“Do you want help with it?” You nodded your head downwards. “I can touch it for you.”

Okay, Bucky didn’t think he could get any redder but he definitely just did.

“I’m… a little embarrassed.” He trailed off. You could definitely understand him being shy. You had been like that when you were still new to physically showing love. Thinking back, you remembered one thing that helped.

“How about I turn off the lights? Do you think it’d be okay then?”

There was a long pause before he answered quietly.

“Yeah.”

You gave him a reassuring smile before leaning over to your nightstand and turning off your light. Then you laid to face him as he turned his off. Now completely dark, you reached out until you felt his chest, coming closer until you were in his arms. Your hands slid upwards to cup his face, letting you know where to lean in to kiss him. You kissed for quite some time, sucking on his lower lip as your hands eventually slid to his chest. When he seemed to relax into that, you brought your hand lower until it brushed over the front of his boxers. It caused him to tense again, so you asked once more.

“Can I?”

You felt his chest rise and fall deeply before he whispered.

“Yeah.”

---  

Bucky felt the cold morning air come into his lungs as he took a controlled breath in. His grey hoodie was almost too warm to run in, even though it was the heart of winter. At the beginning of the 5k, he had kept the same pace with Sam. He had no interest in being the first to the finish line. It wouldn’t be fair to everyone else. It had been going swimmingly until Sam started poking his nose where it didn’t belong.

Sam had noticed that something was different at breakfast. While they ate a light meal in preparation for the race, you had sipped on coffee as you talked animatedly about the different charities you had associated yourself with. Sam had been listening intently when he noticed how Bucky’s eyes kept shifting back and forth between the bagel on his plate and you. Sitting next to him, you hadn’t noticed. Being the astute observer that he was, Sam had watched as Bucky nervously chuckled when you turned to him for a response. You had made eye contact with Bucky and your complexions had grown flushed. To ease the awkward nervousness, you had quickly turned to Sam. He had squinted his eyes momentarily as he tried to figure out why Bucky was acting so strange, though he shoved the thoughts to the back of his mind for later.

Later turned out to be a couple of hours after breakfast, in the first half of the race. You could tell Bucky was antsy from the crowd, so you settled on just squeezing his hands encouragingly before wishing him luck. Then, they were off. After outrunning the crowd and cameras, Sam and Bucky were now in a much more private setting- not quite jogging close enough to anybody else to make conversation.

“So,” Sam started, taking advantage of the seclusion, “How’re things going with her?”

“Good.” Bucky answered simply, sensing that there may be more follow up questions.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. She’s great. We’re doing great.”

Sam slowed his pace slightly so he could catch his breath. “Just wanted to make sure. You seemed a little off at breakfast. Did something happen?”

Bucky swallowed and couldn’t hide the flush of red creeping up his neck as he remembered the previous night. It hadn’t taken him long to finish. Nobody had ever touched him intimately, and even if they had, it had been a long time since. You were more than happy with the extent of the physicality last night, all too satisfied to let him ride out his high, spilling into your hand with his face buried into the crook of your neck. But Bucky couldn’t stop the overthinking. The hesitancy, along with the telltale signs of embarrassment, gave Sam an inkling what it might be about.

“Oh, I take it something did happen.”

Bucky was not at all thrilled about Sam’s avid interest in the subject.

“Like I said, things are going well. But sometimes I get so wrapped up in my head about stuff.” Bucky said, moving past that subject. “It’s going a lot faster than I thought it was going to. Things were a lot… slower in the 40’s. And now that Steve’s gone, she’s one of the few people I have to lose, except she’s not a super soldier and she doesn’t have a powered-up suit to protect her.”

They jogged in silence for a moment.

“Honestly, it’s terrifying. Sometimes, I feel like I should’ve never started this because if something happened, I don’t know what I’d do.”

“You know, if she was here right now, she’d probably smack you upside your head.”

Bucky gave Sam a look that could’ve withered a plant, but Sam just chuckled at him.

“Listen, what you’re feeling is normal, with anything there’s a risk. You’ve literally risked your life, for your entire life. Why?”

“Well, because it was the right thing to do.”

“Right. You always do the right thing because doing the right thing makes you feel good and gives you a sense of fulfillment. She also gives you positive emotions, but you’ve come up with a hundred reasons why not to be with her. Yes, you don’t want anything to happen to her, but you’re also hesitant because you don’t want something to happen to yourself. You’re afraid of getting hurt. We all are, that doesn’t make you weak. But missing out on what is potentially the best thing that ever happened to you, solely because you were afraid, makes you a coward.”

Bucky made another face but it was one more of resignation, regardless of how much disdain for Sam he had at the moment. He was telling the truth. If he stopped the relationship because of the potential outcome, he would be a coward for doing so. Whether he lost you emotionally from it not working out, or physically because of any potential enemies, if he were to stop now, he’d be a coward.

“Think about how much she’s putting on the line. She’s smart, Buck. She knows what she’s getting into and she knows the risk. But being with you is worth more to her than the potential risk. I think you feel the same way about her. If you feel anxious about it, talk to her. I’m sure she’ll reassure you. I will also reassure you if you ask me, but I’m sure you’d much rather talk to her.” Sam chuckled. “Sorry for being harsh, man. But, I think you needed to hear it.”

“I did… Thanks, Sam. You’re a good friend.” Bucky said, looking towards Sam

“Anytime.”

They jogged comfortably at their slower pace, letting a few joggers say hello and pass them. Once they were out of earshot, Sam got his classic mischievous grin and wiggled his eyebrows.

“So, what happened between you two last night? Or is it too Rated-R to say out loud? Just asking, because your skin is, like, glowing. You look refreshed and ready to go.”

Bucky threw his head back and let out a frustrated grunt before picking up the pace and sprinting to put distance between him and Sam.

“Hey. Hey!” Sam yelled as Bucky got farther and farther away, despite his best efforts to catch up to him. Once Sam was just a speck on the trail behind him, he relaxed into a more sustainable pace. He caught his breath and looked back, laughing at the image of a far-away Sam, shaking his fist at Bucky.

As much as he and Sam joked back and forth, he was thankful to have good friends. It’s definitely helped him feel better about missing Steve. Steve was afraid that if anything ever happened to himself, that Bucky would be left in the lurch. What really helped him at the time, was knowing that Sam would be there. So, when he had brought the idea up to Bucky, he mentioned that Sam was a good man, and that he would help Bucky a lot, but if Bucky needed him, then he’d stay. Bucky knew from the bottom of his heart that if he said that he didn’t want Steve to leave, Steve would’ve stayed and not resented him one bit. But Bucky would’ve had to live with that on his conscience for the rest of his life. So, he gave Steve a pat on the back and told him to go, and that he’d be fine with Sam. He deserved to be happy. Bucky, however, did not.  

And so, he damned himself to a life of continued torture and solitude. He ignored all of Sam’s texts and calls. He punished himself by going to lunch with the dad of a victim who was plagued by his son’s mysterious death- a son that was made a victim at Bucky’s hands. It took such a shock as a new replacement “Steve” to break the cycle. Then, it was just pure anger. It was anger at the world for doing Steve wrong, anger at the world for doing Sam wrong, anger at John Wyatt for besmirching the mantle that his best friend worked so hard to establish. It was anger at himself for being slow on making amends, anger at himself for still waking up shaken from the nightmares that haunted him. It was anger at himself for telling Steve that he would be just fine if he left.  

At the time, it was a bold-faced lie. Though, overtime it did end up being the truth. He helped the real Captain America take back the shield, and in the process, he saved people who had actually thanked him for it, as if it wasn’t what he was longing to do in the first place. He finally finished making his amends, giving peace to a number of families and himself. He even allowed himself to have a little bit of happiness by believing, even if just for a moment, that he belonged in the community that accepted him so easily in Louisiana. And now, he had you too. Beautiful, talented, kind you. You, who had embraced him with unabashed love. You, who wasn’t ashamed of who he was.  

Steve would’ve loved you.

Bucky hadn’t noticed the tears until one slipped onto his cheek, accentuating the cold. Somehow, though, this cold served to remind him that he was indeed alive. Despite all odds, he was here. What a fool he was to think that he would have been protecting you by staying distant. Bucky coughed and then sniffed, shaking his head before quickly wiping his cheek. Determined to see you, he ran at a steady pace until he saw you waving and cheering him on by the finish line. You were against the barrier about ten yards from the end of the race, slightly separated from the other crowds of people. Ignoring the finish line, he ran straight to you and gripped you by the shoulders.

“Buck, what’re you-”

He kissed you openly, surprising both you and the racers who gawked as they jogged past the scene to the finish line. You eventually pulled apart and looked at him with an incredulous giddy expression on your face, accented by your fingers gently touching your lips as if you didn’t believe what just happened.

“I love you.”

You blinked several times to process it before bursting into a grin that couldn’t get any bigger. Breathlessly, you responded.

“I love you too.”

---  

The gala was a huge success. They announced during the introductions that they had met their fundraising goal, which was greeted by a tremendous amount of applause. They spotlighted Sam, and subsequently you and Bucky, as they thanked Captain America and his right hand man for their support. After you had finished dinner, they whisked them both away for publicity. You felt a little bad as you watched Sam and Bucky get assaulted by camera flashes as every bigwig who donated towards the cause insisted on taking a picture with Captain America. Fortunately, you were watching from the comfort of your own seat, nursing a glass of wine while trying not to stain the glass with your lipstick.  

You then turned your head to watch the dance floor where a lot of the party was congregated, dancing in pairs to a waltz. Normally, events like these started off as a classical ball and ended in an atmosphere more like a nightclub after the older sponsors went home. You did love dancing, to either kind of music, but you weren’t sure if Bucky was the dancing type. Still, you wished that you could have at least one dance with him before it got too late. It was then that you heard someone call your name. Not Irina, but your name. You turned your head warily towards the voice.

“Hey! I thought that was you!”

“Oh my god Dev, you startled me!” You said in relief, standing up to give your friend a hug. He hugged you and then sat in Bucky’s unoccupied seat.

“I haven’t seen you in so long! You kind of disappeared off of everyone’s radar.”

You couldn’t miss the glance he took at your shoulder. The dress you were wearing, one of your favorites for the wintertime, had a flowing tulle champagne skirt that had gold floral accents. But from the waist up, it was a velvet red fluttered off-shoulder top with thin supporting straps that perfectly framed the scarring. You hadn’t really been planning on seeing anyone you knew so you hadn’t bothered covering up your shoulder.

“Yeah, I’ve been trying to keep a semi-low profile.”

“Well, whatever you’ve been doing has been working. You worried a lot of us. If it weren’t for Jules letting us know you were still alive, we would’ve called in a missing person’s report.”

You looked down sheepishly, embarrassed but happy that after all this time, your friends still remembered and cared about you. You tucked your hair behind your ear and fidgeted with one of the pearls on the earrings that Bucky had gotten for you.

“Yeah, I’m so excited for her wedding, you know she made me a bridesmaid?”

Unaware of your skillful redirection of the conversation, he replied excitedly.  

“I’ll be there too! Super happy for her. Her and Raul have been dating forever. It’s about time they get hitched.”

“Agreed. Speaking of, how’re you doing these days? Any lucky ladies in your life?” You leaned back in your chair and resumed your glass of wine.

“No ladies, but I did just get my big break.” He said with a wide secretive smile.

“Really?” You perked up. He leaned in as if he was going to tell you something confidential so you mirrored the movement. In a low tone, he explained.

“I just got hired to compose the musical score for a Netflix series. I’ve been working on it for months, and now we’re recording in three weeks at a studio in New York!”

“Dev!” you exclaimed loudly, “That is absolutely amazing! I’m so happy for you! You’re going to be the next John Williams, I just know it.”

He gave you a big smile. Across the room, Bucky was looking in your direction, attention caught by your excitement.

“Who’s that?” He asked Sam discreetly between pictures.

“I don’t know. Maybe a fan?”

Bucky’s eyes lingered in your direction until the photographer called his attention.

“You know,” Dev started, “We’re still in the selection process for the piano player since we were torn between two options, but you blow them both out of the water.”

“Wow, that sounds amazing. I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes though.”

“Nonsense. I’m the composer so I get to choose my orchestra! And you’ll love the series. It’s about an orphan in the 1960’s who’s a chess prodigy. She destroys different chess tournaments and battles addiction. She ends up playing the best of the best in Russia by the end of it. It’s called Queen’s Gambit- based on a book with the same name. Who better to have recording for Queen’s Gambit than the Reigning Queen of Russian Classics? You can come see Jules too. The studio’s not far from her place.”

The offer was extremely tempting, but you weren’t sure how ready you were to throw caution to the wind. He must’ve caught onto your hesitation, so he gave another pitch to you.

“I know you’ve been out of the limelight for a long time, but this is your chance to bring your name back into the mix. And the series won’t be released until later this year so no one will know you’re in New York if that’s what you’re worried about. Not until long after you’ve finished recording.”

You bit your lip. You’re resolve was crumbling.

“How long is recording?” You asked tentatively.

“Our target is three studio days, but we booked four just in case- Monday through Thursday. Is that okay?”

“Well… I’m performing right now under a stage name with an orchestra. But the rehearsals have been going really well since we’ve been playing together all season. I could give them a recording of me playing the pieces for that week that they could practice to. Before I get ahead of myself though, can I just ask one thing?”

“You can have whatever you want.” You cracked a smile at that.

“Can you keep it a secret that I’m going to be there? You can use my name in the credits but I don’t really want any media coverage while I’m in New York.”

“Absolutely. Done.”

It was hard not to feel absolutely giddy. If it were someone you didn’t really know, you wouldn’t do it, but you trusted Dev to abide by your wishes.

“Well, I’ll email the orchestra head and if he says yes, then I’m in.”

Dev cheered, causing several heads to turn towards him. You could barely hold your laughter as he quickly apologized to those around him. When you both settled, the lights started to dim slightly, and the music switched from instrumental to lyrical. You and Dev looked out to the dance floor. Still slower paced, but modern, perfect for slow dancing to.

“Care to dance?”

Your head snapped towards Dev who was holding out his hand.

“I think that I might be ahead of you in line, pal.”

Bucky placed a hand on the back of the chair you were sitting in. Happy that he was back, you set one of your hands over his and looked up at him.

“All done with the paparazzi?” You joked with a big smile on your face that reassured Bucky.

“Yeah, finally. Who’s this?” He nodded his head towards the man sitting in his seat.

“This is Dev Addison, a friend of mine from Julliard.”

Bucky extended his hand in greeting, Dev standing up to shake his hand.

“Dev, this is Sergeant Barnes.”

He looked to you and then back to Bucky incredulously.

“Wow, it’s nice to meet you. Thanks for always keeping us safe.”

“I’m happy to it.” He responded as you got up as well.

“Well,” you started, straightening out your skirt. “I think I’ll have to ask for a rain check, Dev. I’ve been waiting all night for them to be done with him.” You said with a grin as you looked up at Bucky, him reciprocating.

An amused smile came upon Dev’s face as he saw the look between you two. You looked happy. After so long, it was good to know that you were at least okay.

“No problem,” he said good-naturedly. “Let me know ASAP when the orchestra head replies!”

“Will do!”

You both waved goodbye and you started walking hand in hand with Bucky to the area where people were dancing. You put one hand in his and the other on his shoulder as he put his other on your waist, tentatively swaying to the music together.

“So, Dev offered me a job. It’s a four day contract to record music that he composed for a television series. It’s going to be at a studio in New York at the end of February.”

“Wow,” Bucky said with raised eyebrows. “That’s exciting. Are you going to take it?”

“I think so.” You said slowly but firmly. “I just have to wait for the orchestra to approve it.”

“That’s great.” Bucky said encouragingly, noticing a different emotion mixed in with your excitement. “What’s wrong?”

“I just haven’t been to New York in a while. It just makes me feel a little nervous about getting back out into the world. I know you know how that feels, on a much bigger scale. But another part of me is excited to get back into big projects like these.”

Bucky nodded his head in agreement. “But I think if you want to, then there’s no harm. It’s only a few days and it’s just for recording. You could stay at a hotel so you could have some space if you don’t want to stay with your friends.”

You looked like you were thinking, so he didn’t say anything else. Instead, you danced together closely as you listened to the lyrics of the song.

And you say that you’re not worth it

You get hung up on your flaws

Well, in my eyes you are perfect

As you are

“John Legend, I think.” You said quietly as rested your cheek against his shoulder. Bucky hummed in response, touching his lips to your forehead.

I will never try to change you

I will always want the same you

Swear on everything I pray to

That I won’t break your heart

Bucky glanced down at the necklace that rested perfectly in the space between your collarbones, the one that you had fixed with the brooch he gave you. The emerald was now fitted in gold plating, set between two delicate pearls. It matched the earrings he had given you perfectly. You could’ve worn or bought plenty of other jewelry, but you continually wear these because they make you happy and they show off to the world that he favored you.

I’ll be there when you get lonely

Keep the secrets that you told me

And your love is all you owe me

And I won’t break your heart  

“If I go to New York, will you come with me?” You looked up at him with an endearing look, the dim chandelier leaving a residual glimmer in your eyes.

“Of course, I will.” He said softly, giving you a classic Bucky smile. You laughed as he twirled you once before dipping you. He held you like you weighed nothing, pressing his lips against your cheek as you giggled.  

“I love you.” You said, a dreamy look on your face. A huge smile spread over Bucky’s face, and he reciprocated while gazing at you from under hooded eyelids.

“I love you too.”

[tangledinmdzs]

Hi there! Idk if your requests are open but can you write about LXC with the prompts "come back to me", "I didn't realize that you would mean this much to me", and it hurts... here" in reincarnation au, where the reader is WWX's sister and is also a demonic cultivator?Hope this isn't too much to ask. stay safe and healthy

definitely not too much at all! i’m so excited to write this~

here’s to your request!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“come back to me...” “it hurts, here...”

“...I didn’t realize that you would mean this much to me...” 

in a reincarnation au

there was something about the man before you that was just...familiar

you both blink up to one another, a silent moment in the bustling business of a coffee shop queue

his eyes are wide, sparkling and almost shocked as he stares at you 

you want to look away, you don’t think that it should be normal to hold someone’s eye for as long as you both already have

but suddenly,

the scent of coffee around you bleeds away, turns into dusty, smoke

the echoing voices around your head intensify, 

the wails,

cries,

growls into the abyss

and then you see yourself, or at least you feel yourself at the edge of a cliff

even though you swear you’ve never been to a place like this before...

this mountainous, firey plain

yet, you just...know 

“come back to me...”

there are tears streaming down your face, iron blood mixing in your mouth as you stand, edging towards the end

even through your shakey vision you know who it is that is beckoning towards you

Lan Xichen

he’s...he’s beautiful in a way that no one has the right to be in the middle of battle

could always pull off beauty in the face of war

but not you

you were going to die...

blinking back your tears, you turn your head to where your younger brother laid, unconscious in the arms of another cultivator, donned in white

his solemn eyes stare at you

you take a deep breath

you would see to your end if it meant peace for your brother

“y/n...” the call of your name sounds closer and you look up just to realize that Lan Xichen is within arms reach

he’s closer than you would like him to be

you want to simply fall off the edge and let it be

but with his eyes boring into you like that

you don’t think you have the strength to

seeing you begin to set your guard down, the slight opening, he makes his move

but you know him well, too well

so you fling yourself back

your eyes had closed then

so you only hear the shout

you don’t expect to be caught

let along be held, by a bloodied arm

it takes you a moment, but you blink your eyes open, looking up 

Lan Xichen’s face is in utter anguish

his pale hand grips and digs uselessly at the gravel and dirt around him

the pebbles and dirt gets under his nails, dirties his light blue robes, mixes with his long hair sprawled onto the ground

you stare up at him, letting your tears freely flow now

“y/n...” 

“it hurts...”

Lan Xichen’s eyes widen at your breathy words, you see the way his eyes flicker around the area, in vain, for something, anything, some kind of strength to pull you up

“here...” you lay your other dangling hand onto your heart

Lan Xichen cries, mixing it with an anguished scream as the tear on his arm gets wider

his grip slips

“y/n...”

“you have given me so much more than i can ever repay you,” you hiccup out, the last of your strength given to say what you mean

“i have never regret a single day with you... not even now...i don’t deserve you...

“i never have...”

Lan Xichen shakes his head at you, says something

but at this point the words have become muffled

and you have made your choice

you pull your wrist out of his grasp, suddenly 

and truly fall back now

there’s a loud pained shout that follows you into your fall off into the abyss

you remember it

you remember it always...

“miss-”

a hand steadies you when the world looks slightly unbalanced

the warmth of the palm and fingers wrapped around your forearms is comforting in a way a stranger’s shouldn’t be

but...

you look up at the sparkling eyes that look at you, worriedly

was he even a stranger?

“Xichen...” you try, because...just because

there’s nothing that remotely changes on his face that you can see,

and you really begin to think that you might have lost it now

maybe you need to stop sleeping so late

with a different kind of heaviness, you remove his light grip on your forearms

“i’m sorry, excuse me,” 

you both have long stepped off the queue, somehow, and you don’t think any coffee is going to keep you awake as well as the events that transpired just now

in your mind

in a daydream

in a memory?

you leave the coffee shop, heading to work

and the man in the shop stares after you, 

knows you even though he had been staring at your back on the line for a few seconds

definitely knows that it is you, when you had turned around to face him, for some unknown reason

it’s you

it’s always been you

“y/n...”

the fighting had stopped

the fierce corpses have met death, finally, eternally

but the blood dripping down his arms

and the sudden lost of you, from his hands

numbs him from every thing

i didn’t realize that you would mean this much to me, Lan Xichen whispers to himself, kneeled on the edge of the cliff, as your body disappeared into ashes

[backtothestart02]

Breaking Point - 1/1(?) | westallen fanfiction

A/N: Based off the twitter reaction to Barry time-traveling w/o telling Iris ahead of time in 7x16. This fic is Iris’ reaction once he tells her, and it’s maybe a bit extreme? You’ll have to decide for yourself. I was feelings angsty when I wrote it and when I initially thought it up, so there’s that. If there’s a demand for more of this fic, I’ll gladly write more, but if not, the ending is open to interpretation what could happen next. Oh! And Iris is not blipping in and out of timelines and Godspeed clones didn’t prevent Barry from making it to the future. Enjoy! =P

...

Synopsis:  7x16 - Canon Divergent - Time-Travel has its consequences.

...

When Barry returned from 2049, he was brimming with energy. Lightning was still crackling all around him when he came to a stop back in STAR Labs. Chester and Caitlin looked at him, intrigued. When he didn’t say anything, only grinned, Chester couldn’t hold himself back any longer.

“Well, how is everything? Did it all go okay?”

He rocked back and forth from his toes to his heels, Barry’s enthusiasm contagious.

“Yeah,” Caitlin added, also curious but more amused than anything by the two of them. “We thought for a second that something went wrong, because-”

“No, no, nothing went wrong. Everything is great!” Barry sighed contently.

Caitlin laughed and shared a look with Chester.

“So, you found Nora,” she concluded.

“Not just Nora.”

“Oh?”

But just as he was about to spill the beans, it occurred to Barry that maybe future details should be kept where they belonged. In the future.

Except with Iris. He could tell her. In fact, right now there was nothing more that he wanted to do was tend to her and assure her Nora was all right – and she wasn’t alone.

“Yeah, I gotta go.”

He pushed past the two of them and headed towards the end of the tunnel.

“W-wait, Barry!”

Reluctantly, he stopped.

“What about Godspeed?”

“Yeah,” Chester chimed in. “If it’s bad here, it must be really bad in 2049 where he’s from.”

“Oh.” Barry forced himself to sober up. “Yeah, it is. What I mean to say is…Nora, she’s…she’s got thing’s handled, working hard.” He started smiling again. “And she has help!” Chester and Caitlin’s intrigued looks told him he had to sputter some nonsense fast. “From me! Future me, I mean. I’m still the Flash. In 23 years, I’m still…” He trailed off, daydreaming briefly about the things he’d just seen and experienced.

Sensing more questions from the two individuals in front of him however, he forced himself to snap out of it.

“Well, I gotta go! Text me when the Godspeeds return.”

“Wait, where are y-”

But it was no use. Barry had flashed away. There was no calling out to him with the expectation of him hearing and returning unless, as he’d said, the Godspeed clones returned and he was needed to attempt to defeat them.

“Let him be,” Chester said, brushing whatever questions they’d had aside. “He’s clearly happy. It’s been a while since we’ve seen him like that, what with everything going on. In fact, the last time I saw him that happy was-”

Caitlin studied him as he fell silent and avoided eye contact.

“What? When?” she asked.

“N-Nothing. Nevermind.” He powerwalked out into the hallway. “See you upstairs, Caitlin!”

She eyed his disappearing form with suspicion but decided not to push on that either. After a few more moments of contemplation, she followed the path Chester had taken back to the cortex upstairs.

…

When Barry reached the loft shortly thereafter, he was greeted by darkness and silence. It wasn’t alarming enough to dim his buzz though. He was too excited to talk to Iris. He had to remind himself that she wasn’t feeling well and to lower his voice when he talked to her, as well as maybe bring her something to eat and drink. She hadn’t vomited in a couple days, but she was still feeling under the weather. He had to contain his excitement enough to be a devoted, caring husband tending to her in her sickness.

He could do that, definitely.

As quietly as he could manage, he whipped together some chicken noodle soup and crackers and put them on a tray. Walking as stealthily as he could towards the staircase, he made it step by step without spilling the entrée.

Proud of himself for that, he gently kicked their bedroom door open with his foot.

“Iris, I brought you something.”

When he looked up, he was greeted to the sight of her reading in bed. She attempted a small smile when she saw what he was carrying and set her book to the side.

“Hey, Bear,” she said warmly, albeit with a croak to her voice. “What’s all this?”

His heart sank just a little at the sound of her, but it couldn’t quelch all the enthusiasm he had buried just beneath the surface.

He approached the bed, making sure to keep the tray even.

“The Godspeeds are currently not in Central City, at least in our time, so I thought I’d come home and dote on my wife a little.”

“Aww, you’re so sweet.”

She gripped the tray as he set it on her lap.

“And also to tell you that everything with Nora is alright.”

She froze, her hand halfway to the spoon, her other gripping the far side of the tray.

“What do you mean, alright?”

“Well…you know how I had that dream about Nora that made me think…” he trailed off, embarrassed now and not wanting to emotionally wound her like he’d done before.

“Barry,” she said softly.

“Well, I had another one, and it was…Nora was in danger, everything was wrong, I couldn’t breathe…” He shook his head, trying to shake himself of that dream. He had such a wonderful reality to replace it with now, but it was still hard to talk about.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked, gently reaching for his hand.

Slowly, he sat on the side of the bed.

“I didn’t want to worry you,” he admitted. “Plus, I didn’t know if you’d think I was ridiculous for getting upset by it given the last time I dreamed of Nora…well, it came to mean nothing, didn’t it?” He frowned.

Iris closed her eyes and shook her head.

“A nightmare is a nightmare, Barry. They’re upsetting to anyone whether they mean something or not. Remember when Psych infected the whole city with nightmares? Everyone was frightened, and with good reason.”

He nodded.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry. I should have told you.”

“It’s okay.” She offered a small smile. “You’re okay now it looks like.”

“Oh, yeah,” he assured her, his good mood quickly returning. “Better than okay.”

She managed a small, raspy laugh.

“And why is that?” She scooped up some broth on her spoon and blew on it.

“Well, because I went to the fu…ture.”

Belatedly, he realized that she might not like this bit of news. Especially given their two-seconds-ago talk that he should communicate things to her right away.

He gulped as he watched her lay down her spoon on the side of the bowl and set the tray on his side of the bed. He wondered if he’d still be sleeping there tonight.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” Her voice was low and even, but her eyes were wild. She was not happy.

“Okay, look, I know I should’ve probably talked to you first.” He sprang up to his feet. “But Dig told me-”

“Dig was here?” she blanched.

His hand went behind his head where he awkwardly scratched.

“Yeah, he showed up with some new tech to use to help in the Godspeed war.”

She looked at him in disbelief.

“We caught one of the Godspeeds, but then he broke out and the tech broke, and I yelled at Chester, and all of this because, well…” He sat back down again. “I couldn’t stop thinking about Nora in those dreams. I was so worried about her, what all of this meant for her time. If there’s so much chaos and destruction right now in Central City, imagine in her time where they’re from. All I wanted to do was go check on her, make sure she was alright.”

“So, that’s what you did, I assume,” Iris said bitterly.

“After Dig talked me into it, yeah.”

“And who else did you tell about your grand adventure?”

Feeling uneasy now, he stood up again.

“I uh…told Cecile.”

“And?”

He swallowed. “And Chester and Caitlin.”

“So, everybody.” Angrily, Iris flung back the covers and forced herself out of bed, heading for the exit as fast as she could get there. “Everybody but me.”

“Iris, wait, please-”

He followed her at normal speed, not wanting to upset her further by jumping ahead of her in under a second.

She stopped suddenly once they got to the first floor.

“Did it ever occur to you, Barry, that this might be a bad idea?”

His eyes widened.

“Of course! It’s why I needed to be talked into it. Dig convinced me that making family my number one priority was the most important thing, more important than being here for when the Godspeeds returned again.”

“I suppose he neglected to mention how it shouldn’t be a decision you make on your own in the end, that you should discuss it with your wife, who I don’t know, maybe would die of happiness seeing her daughter again?” Her voice broke.

Barry’s heart crumbled.

“Iris, you were sick. You’re still sick. Traveling at super speed would’ve made you even more sick. Even if…even if you’re not…”

“Spit it out, Barry. If I’m not what? If I’m not pregnant?”

His eyes dipped down to the floor.

“Maybe it’s a good thing I’m not.”

His eyes flashed to hers.

“What do you mean?”

She closed some of the distance between them, no-nonsense in her tone when she spoke.

“How many times, Barry? How many times are you going to make life-changing decisions without talking to me first? Decisions that involve our children? That could change life as we know it? As they know it? Given your very happy mood when you showed up, I assume all was well in 2049?”

He gulped and nodded.

“Yes.”

“Well, suppose it won’t be after your little visit? And even if it is, Barry…you have to talk to me. It’s important that we’re a team. That’s what I signed up for when I married you, that we would communicate and be a unit in everything we did. I thought you had gotten past doing things rashly, based entirely on your emotions, but-”

“But I didn’t do it based on my emotions! I had to be talked into it, don’t you see? It was Dig that-”

“Oh, shut up about Dig!”

That silenced him.

“You used his advice as an excuse to go ahead and do what you know in your heart you were going to do anyway.”

“Iris.”

“No.” She shook her head and turned away, then stopped and looked back at him. “I thought you were ready. I thought we were ready. And I was excited when you called me a week ago claiming you knew that I was pregnant, only for it to just be based on some wishful thinking dream you had.”

He swallowed hard.

“You’re not ready, Barry. And I don’t know if you ever will be.”

Tears welled in her eyes.

Cautiously, he approached her.

“What are you saying, Iris?”

She took a breath and licked her lips.

“I’m saying I don’t want to try for Nora anymore. Not now, not for a while, maybe not… Maybe not ever.”

His jaw dropped. He couldn’t speak.

She closed her eyes and tears seeped out.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her breath hitching. “But right now, I don’t think you’d make a good father.”

Shell-shocked, he took one step back and then froze. Everything inside him came to a standstill. It even felt like his heart had stopped. Memories of meeting adult Nora again and…and her brother, who was apparently such a mama’s boy. To think they might not even exist in the future all because of this conversation right here.

He thought Iris would want to know all about their future children, but now…

“I’m going back upstairs,” she informed him, her tone clipped in the deafening silence of their living room. “Please don’t follow me.”

“Iri-” he tried, but she held up a hand to silence him.

“Don’t.”

Feeling helpless, he let her go up the stairs alone.

The sound of their bedroom door closing was so final that it seemed to echo off all the walls around him. Sensing a collapse was near, he entered the living room further and sat down on the couch, immediately putting his head in his hands and rocking slightly.

One thought clear as day drummed through his mind above all the others.

What have I done?

[blackberry-gingham]

This was kinda inspired by the previous anons request but could you write headcannons/imagines (whichever you think fits best) about being an actress and meeting their lad on the set of one of their movies/a movie

(Ok ik I have other requests waiting looong behind this one, but it's going to bug me if I don't do this first, so I'll post my next chronological request tomorrow instead of my usual every other dayish schedule! Thanks guys ❤️)

Honestly, the absolute MOOD™ of this gif has been on my mind for like all of the following imagines. Like the on periodt FLAVOR that actress is rocking, all done up and everything ?? John or [insert one of the other three] ob-sessed with you ?? Literally yes. So yeah, there's my overview lol, the rest is up to your imagination!

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy! 😌

George

You meet George on your way to grab a little refreshment before your scene in between takes

You've got a nice little flute of wine, to calm the nerves of course, when suddenly you get bumped rather harshly from behind!

Luckily your drink spilled on the floor and not your nice costume, but still, you're about to give whomever it is a piece of your mind!!

You turn on a dime and come face to face with... Oh

There, only inches away, stands the George Harrison, with a mouthful of food, a wrapped up snack for later, and eyes wide as saucers

It's a race to see who can apologise first

While you over come your shock at nearly cursing out one of the stars of the show, he hurriedly chews and swallows the last of his snack

"I'm so sor-" "-eg your pardon!"

You overlap each other with your apologies, causing a similar scenario again as you both accept the other's apology

The two of you chuckle a bit at that

At this point, George feels like he's just now getting a good look at you

He wonders if you're a recent hire, bc otherwise he certainly would've noticed the most beautiful woman in the building before now

Suddenly a touch self conscious, he wipes the crumbs from the corners of his mouth and scrambles for a way to make small talk

It's not really his forte, you see

Luckily, you come in to save him

You cock your head to look at his napkin of snacks

"What have you got there?"

"Oh these? N-nothing, just some scones or something like that"

He crosses his arms behind his back, like he's embarrassed to be caught smuggling snacks

"Oh! Have you tried the cream cheese and raspberry ones? They're to die for!"

George loosens up a bit. He wouldn't have guessed you were something of a food fan too...

He brings around his napkin of goodies and unwraps it a bit for you to see

"I have actually, would you like one?"

You thank him and take one, savouring the flavor while he pops another into his mouth as well

"See, quite good! Although, I'd dare say mine are better"

You laugh, but George simply stares

"You bake?" He says through a mouthful of scone, eyes alight

Of course you confirm that you do indeed, and your cooking is fantastic too, thank you very much!

The two of you talk about some of your favorite treats to make and from there... Well, George is pretty sure he's met his soul mate

John

Now when you meet John, I think you approach him!

He's backstage taking a smoke

You'd think he's just having a quick break to relax before filming starts, but the way he's looking around, shifting his weight, and fiddling with his outfit says it all

Classic stage fright

You remember those days, but as a seasoned, successful actress, you've learned a few tips and tricks you think might help!

For one thing, getting to know more then just your co-stars is a bit of a relief

Plus, I mean... It's John Lennon! And have I mentioned you're a bit of a fan?

So you approach, completely unfazed, and poor old Lennon does a double take

Out of gentlemanly habit, he immediately puts out his dart when he sees you coming

You come right up and introduce yourself with a "how do you do"

Now at this point, normally he'd respond with a witty but dirty pick up line, but...

He can't tell if he's just not in the mood from his nerves or what, but he just can't bring himself to do it

Or maybe... Maybe there's just something about you?

It's not every day such a fetching woman approaches him without screaming her head off and begging for an autograph in the process

Besides, there's just this air of confidence about you that puts him at ease

You make it look so effortless too!

He wishes he could be like that...

John nods respectfully with a quiet "just fine thanks"

He doesn't bother to introduce himself, he simply assumes everyone here knows who he is

You tilt your head and smile invitingly

"Are you sure? Excuse me for saying so, but you seem a bit nervous"

Well, regarding the filming coming up, he was a bit, but standing here, talking with you?

He certainly is now!

"It's fine, just thinking about my lines and such"

You can tell he's lying, but you let the matter go to switch up tactics

"Well I'm sure you'll be just fine out ther- Oh? Hold on..."

You casually saunter up to him as though you've known him for years to straighten his tie and smooth down his lapels

Despite your boldness, John puts up no resistance. In fact, he finds he rather enjoys your touch

He's so use to a more... different sort of touch when it comes to women, to the point that he's nearly forgotten just how fulfilling soft and gentle contact like this can be

Forgetting himself, John leans into your palms a bit as you finish petting them across the chest of his suit

You definitely notice, but decide to have mercy and say nothing about it

"Just remember, if you need a little stage advice out there, I'll be around"

You wink at him and walk off to your dressing room

John waits a moment until your out of sight, weighing what just happened in his mind

You know what?

He smiles to himself and jogs after you

Maybe he does want some advice...

Paul

Now Paul I think is the one guy of the four to seek you out!

You're relaxing in your dressing room adding just a few small touch ups to your lipstick and so on until you're on

When the gentle knock comes to your door, you assume it's your assistant come to fetch you

You check the time and then hurry over to answer the door

"Yes yes, I-"

Paul is standing with his hands clasped behind his back, a respectful distance from your door

When he'd heard you were the leading lady of this film, he knew he simply had to see you in person

He's a bit of a fan himself you see, and he can tell you right now, the camera doesn't do you half justice

Paul's mouth forms a little "O" as he looks you up and down so quick, it's almost subtle

Not at all impressed, you look at him expectantly, but try to hold back any attitude

"Can I help you, Mr. McCartney?"

He snaps out of his daydream and at last looks at you with the respect you deserve

"Oh, my apologies love, I just wanted to greet my co-star!"

Paul gingerly takes your hand and kisses your knuckles

Alright, maybe you're a little impressed

"I've heard so much about you, I couldn't believe it when they told me you were going to be a part of our little film"

He laughs, and then clears his throat awkwardly

"Sorry, I guess I'm just something of a fan"

You're a bit taken aback to see Paul, the ladies man himself, McCartney acting flustered, but what a compliment for one of the Beatles to be a fan of you

Needless to say, you're nice about his being awkward and hang around for a little conversation

He tells you about all the movies he's seen you in and how wonderful a job he thought you did

You're really enjoying the moment, after all, what a rare one it is! Until your assistant comes to fetch you and Paul for filming

"Oh yes, we'll be right along!"

Paul calls after your assistant and more or less shoos them away

Once you two are alone again, Paul fidgets a moment fishing around in his pockets

"Now I know you get this a lot-"

He pulls out a newspaper article and a pen, then holds them out to you

Upon closer inspection, it's the headline from when you were recognized for your first acting award

"But could I please get your autograph?"

Then he leans in and whispers, "and please don't tell the lads..."

You laugh and assure him his secret is safe as you sign your name in flowing script before handing him his prize

Paul looks like a child in a candy shop, he's so excited

You smile sweetly and begin heading towards the filming site

Before you know it Paul trots up beside you, following close

He looks from you to his newspaper clipping once and then twice before his eyes linger on you

"You know, I have a record from one of your plays back at the hotel... Could you-?"

At first you shoot him a look, but the puppy eyes he's giving you assures you he means no funny business, so you promise him ❤️

Ringo

You meet Ringo backstage in between sets, right before your scene

And when I tell you the first time Ringo sees you, he immediately knows he would die for you...

!!! RINGO. IS. STAR STRUCK !!!

You're already gorgeous as is, so when his first time seeing you is all done up with your hair, outfit, and makeup for the movie he's just BLOWN AWAY

And as he should be 💅🏻

There's still a decent bit of time before he needs to take his place or anything like that, which is good bc his brain is in a whole other dimension rn

You're absolutely magnetic and all he can think to do is approach

"Oh, hello Mr. Starr! Can I help you?"

"hi"

You blink at him for a moment, not quite sure what's happening

But when it hits you, you quickly cover your mouth with a gloved hand, trying your very best not to laugh at the poor guy

Ringo however, is completely under your spell at the moment

"I uuuuh, I'm Ringo"

His big droopy eyes are absolutely transfixed in a dreamlike haze on your beautiful face, and he offers you his hand to shake

Now you're REALLY trying not to laugh

You give his hand a shake, brushing off any awkward feelings, and introduce yourself

Ringo repeats your name aloud, looking now as though he's been transported into a dream

That's your name? He loves that name! How did you know!

After a moment of awkward silence while you let him process, he thankfully seems to return to reality

"Ahem, sorry, I didn't mean to bother you"

He looks away quickly, now starting to realize he's made himself out to be quite the fool

"Well I feel rather silly, uh"

He scratches his neck and sneaks a glance up at you

Thankfully, you're very understanding! You have a lot of fans, and his behavior isn't quite unheard of in your experience

"Oh, no no! It's no trouble at all!"

You give a genuine laugh and tell him you're always glad to meet a fan

Ringo responds with a little humor to relieve any last traces of tension or awkwardness and then laughs his deep, goofy laugh

You contemplate what a strange but wonderful sound it is

And you know? wouldn't mind sticking around to hear it again...

Besides, he's clearly already very interested in you

That, and it's nice to meet a gentle soul amongst your fan base, rather then the clamoring men and women you're used to

Ringo smiles at you with pure admiration, before picking up some easy small talk with you, just as though you're anyone else

It's at that moment you officially fall for him

[drabblily]

Bad Confessions

Pairing: Bakugo Katsuki x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, of course. Fluff. 

Word Count: 2.1k

Synopsis: Y/N seems to have fallen in love with a certain hotheaded blonde, might as well confess and get rejected to move on with it, right?

A/N: First Post! Hope you enjoy <3

------

Falling in love was scary.

There was nothing gentle about it, hence the “falling” part of it. You were either all in or not in at all. You could be pushed, you could take that jump, or you could accidentally take one certain step and fall to your impeding doom.

And it was so, so fucking terrifying to you. When you fall in love there is supposed to be someone waiting for you at the bottom to catch you, that was the fortunate option. The unfortunate side was that when you fall in love, that person could move at the last second to let you splat to the ground.

You guess, that’s what made you so scared of it. That someone would move to let you die. To be manipulated. To be used like that. It scared the hell out of you.

That was probably why you never noticed the signs when you were in it. The constant checking of a text message to see if he texted you, the sweaty hands and speedy heart whenever he walked by, the overthinking about him, trying to grab his attention by looking pretty.

It was torturous and you thought nothing of it, perhaps you were going crazy, though. Because you definitely should not be feeling like this.

So, you visited the school nurse, Recovery Girl, in hopes that she would cure your unknown disease.

“Hello? Recovery Girl?” You knocked on the open door to alert her that you were there before stepping in.

The old woman turned towards you with a smile on her face, “Hello, Y/N, are you hurt?”

You gulped, fiddling with your fingers, what if she weren’t able to help you? What if it was a fatal deadly disease and you couldn’t be cured no matter what??

“Well…actually, not really. I just think I might be feeling sick and wanted to ask you for your advice on how to help me out with it?”

She patted the hospital bed she had, implying for you to take a seat, so you did.

Recovery Girl silently grabbed her thermometer, going across your forehead to see if you had a temperature. You didn’t, normal temperature. She grabbed a stick and told you to open your mouth and say, “Ahhh…” With her gloves, she felt around your throat to see if there was anything that could hint at you being ill.

Unwrapping her gloves and throwing them out, she finally spoke with that constant smile of hers, “Well I did the minimum and it doesn’t look like you are sick. You don’t have a fever or any signs of a sore throat. Are you sure you feel sick? What are your symptoms exactly?”

You furrowed your eyebrows, there was no way you couldn’t be sick. Oh my god, what if you were right. What if you were uncurable!! Leg slightly bouncing in anxiousness, you told her, “W-well, actually, I think my mind is all fuzzy. I’ve been getting urges to check my phone when we are out of class…I sometimes get really feverish around people and it feels like my stomach is twisting when around somebody…do you think a villain could’ve used their quirk on me to make me feel like this?”

Your elder slightly chuckled, as if she knew a little secret, smiling even wider with a slight tint of pink to her cheeks, “Oh dearie,” She patted your bouncing leg to calm you down, “you sound like you’re in love.”

Your eyes widened, blood rushing throughout your entire face, “What! With who?”

“With whoever you want to be around, or whoever you think about most.” She clasped her hands together, nodding her head to convince you further. You couldn’t believe it though. You? In love? Doubtful, you were a future pro-hero! You had no time for love!

The bell rung, hinting you should be at your first period class soon, “Well, dearie, you better get to class now. You know how your teacher acts when you are late.”

You numbly nodded, jumping off the hospital bed and walking out of the nurse’s room. On your way to class, you felt heavier, your mind racing with ideas of who exactly you could be “in love” with. No one came to mind. It was torturous.

Finally, you made it to class, opening the door—luckily Aizawa-Sensei wasn’t here yet—and walking to your seat. Eyes scanning the chatter filled room, you made eye contact with mean crimson eyeballs, your heart picking up pace and your tummy feeling nauseated again.

“Got somethin’ to say, damn extra!?” His rough voice asked you loudly, looking to pick a fight.

Your bottom lip quivered in realization, breaking eye contact and sitting down in your chair. You put your head on the table between your arms, “No no no no no no…him?? Really? That cannot be true, he’s an asshole for crying out loud, what is wrong with you??”

You felt a loud slam on your table, “Hey! I’m fucking talking to you, dumbass!”

Your head jolted up at the suddenness, your big eyes staring up at your crush and classmate, Bakugo in confusion and sudden fear. Your cheeks flushed and you licked your lips, feeling thirsty out of nowhere now, “I…”

You noticed a deep red dust his ears as he opened his mouth, “Nevermind.”

Heart skipping a beat at his unexpected calmness, your eyes trailed his body as he stomped away to his chair with a slouch in his posture.

You felt a tap on your right shoulder, your close friend, Mina leaning over to whisper to you, “Bakugo’s never that nice to anyone, he’s totally got the hots for you!!” She squealed in excitement.

You choked on your air, sputtering out words, “N-No! I doubt that’s it, he probably just didn’t want to deal with Aizawa-sensei, he could’ve walked in at any second after all…”

The pink alien playfully punched your shoulder whilst giggling, “Hah! Yeah right, he doesn’t care if he gets in trouble, he totally has a crush on you, I can tell!”

You opened your mouth to respond when your teacher walked in with a ‘dead inside’ expression plastered onto his face, the entire class going silent so they wouldn’t get in trouble.

----

Ever since you found out your crush on your hotheaded classmate two weeks ago, you’ve done your best to avoid him as well as possible. No eye contact, no walking near each other, no talking—which meant also doing your best to not piss him off so you wouldn’t have an excuse to talk to one another. You did whatever you could in hopes of your stupid crush on him to fade away.

But nothing was working. So, you could only come to one reasonable conclusion.

Confess to him. You knew rejection was coming and you just wanted to get it over with so you could wallow in self pity instead.

Maybe that’s why you were here, standing in front of Bakugo Katsuki’s door, a rather large lump caught in your throat as you raised your hand to knock on the door. Swallowing it down, your fist quivered, hesitating to actually knock.

You couldn’t do this. It was way too nerve wracking and you were too much of a coward to actually do it. Placing your hand back down to your side in defeat, you pressed your head on the wall next to his door with a sigh.

“Why can’t I just tell him…” You murmured to yourself, looking down at your hands, imagining his rough ones holding yours. Which was stupid, considering it would never happen, you told yourself, pushing the silly daydreams away.

“What the fuck did you just say, damn extra?”

The sudden voice made you yelp, jumping away only to trip on your own foot and fall straight onto your ass. You groaned at the impact your palms and butt just got, both in extreme pain. You brought your hands up to your line of sight, inspecting how they were red and felt like it burned.

The man above you clicked his tongue in frustration before offering you his hand, “Dumbass. How did you hurt yourself from that?”

“I...” You started, grabbing his hand hesitantly; staring at your hands connected made blood rush to your face, “You scared me. I didn’t see you there.”

The blond snorted, “Idiot. How are you going to become a hero if you just jump from hearing my voice.” He mocked, narrowing his eyes at you before tugging you up and off the ground.

You flushed, reluctantly pulling your hand away from his to cover your face in embarrassment, “Shut up…”

“What the fuck are you doing in this hall anyways?”

“I just, um, you see…”

“Spit it out already, idiot.”

You peeked through your fingers, making eye contact with him, and taking a deep breath, “I just…wanted to tell you something.”

Bakugo crossed his arms—which you couldn’t help but admire how his muscles tensed and moved—raising one annoyed eyebrow at you to signify to continue.

Okay. You had to do this now or never. If you didn’t do it now, youd be a failure, a disgrace. Maybe rejection was what you needed! Maybe if he rejected you, your feelings for the hothead would dissipate and you could focus on more important things, like being a hero. Not fantasizing what kissing your classmate would feel like in the middle of a test.

‘Okay, just spit it out. You can do this’ You told yourself, putting your hands together and gulping.

“Alright, just listen,” You glanced towards him, seriously, hoping he wouldn’t interrupt you until you got your words out so you wouldn’t feel like a fool midway, “I, well to put it simply, I think…I think I like you, a lot. And its terrifying because ive never felt this way about anyone before. But I know you don’t feel the same way, so…please—”

Before you knew what was happening, Bakugo pushed forward, uncrossing his arms to grab ahold of you.

This was different. A lot different than how you expected.

Soft lips captured yours, passionately. You froze up, your mind going haywire trying to figure out what the fuck is happening right now. You noticed two things, does this mean he liked you back? It had to be right? That thought made you dizzy, there was no way this man liked you back. Bakugo fucking Katsuki, no way.

The man in question pulled away, taking note of your flustered expression, smirking at it waiting for you to speak again.

You reached up to touch your lips, still unbelieving that just happened. The second thing you notice was that his lips, oh god. They were heaven. You expected them to be chapped, rough, but it was far from it. Of course! This man would be perfect like this, after all he did seem like one to take care of himself.

Suddenly snapping up to your senses, your eyes widened, “W-what was that!? I said not to interrupt me!”

Katsuki snickered, “Seriously? I just fucking kissed you and you’re thinking about how I interrupted your stupid confession?”

“N-no! The kiss was nice!” His smirk widened. “No! It wasn’t nice, that’s not what I meant! Well, it was nice, I mean I liked it of course! B-but—”

“You’re stupidly cute when you ramble, you know?”

Your breath hitched before reaching over to smack his arm for teasing you, his strong hand catching your wrist and tugging you into his arms, his free hand coming to grip your waist.

“Stop teasing me!” You whined, struggling against his grip to leave your embarrassment.

“Hell no. Its fun to see your expressions when I do.” Bakugo grinned, his grip tightening for a second, “Your confession was ass though.”

You placed your head on his chest, squeezing your eyes shut. You knew it was bad, but he didn’t have to point it out for crying out loud!

You felt the pressure on your wrist disappear only for it to show up on your chin, “Hey, look at me.” His vermillion eyes surprisingly gentle, his tongue coming out to lick his lips.

You were the one to lean in this time, tilting your chin up to kiss him, after all, you didn’t exactly reciprocate it when he did. However, Bakugo immediately responded, his mouth moving against yours with a passion.

After what seemed like an eternity to you—which in reality was about thirty or so seconds—you pulled away, speechless and breathless.

His forehead leaned against yours, his eyes snapping open to make eye contact with you, “I like you too dummy, don’t forget it.”

[good-doctor-imagine]

Derry (Eddie Kaspbrak)

Pairing: Eddie Kaspbrak x Fem!Reader (IT Chapter Two)

Request from @avengxrs423​: “hi!! can i request it chapter 2 (adult) eddie kaspbrak x reader (she’s not a loser). eddie brings her back to derry with him and he gets super jealous over ben and reader getting along. eddie can tell ben likes her. ends in fluff :)”

Synopsis: Eddie brings you to Derry but gets jealous when he realizes Ben likes you.

Word Count: 2.1k

You were a bit surprised when Eddie called you, breathing frantically, telling you he got in a car wreck. Scratch that, you were frozen in shock. Eddie was not the person to get distracted or take his attention off the road. He was way too analytical of everything to let that happen. That's one of the reasons he became a risk assessor.

You were as frantic as him when it came to picking him up. Although you tried to calm him over the phone, your own heart was doing flips in your chest. After making sure he could breathe properly, you asked him several times if he was okay. He insisted he was.

When you pulled up close to the scene, you were relieved to see him fine, just a few scratches and bruises.

"What the hell were you doing to get yourself in a wreck?" Your mind still spun with questions but you tried to repress most of them while you were driving.

"I got a call."

His voice was small and shaky. You figured it was from the shock he was still coming out of. He was probably terrified out of his mind when he wrecked.

"It was from an old friend. He said I have to go back."

"Go back? Where?"

"Derry."

•••

The drive there was eerily quiet. Despite his increasing anxiety, Eddie insisted he drive. It gave you time to think about what was happening and it brought up a lot of unanswered questions.

Eddie never really talked about his childhood. Every time it was brought up he would either avoid it or say he didn't remember a lot of it. You didn't let it get under your skin. Perhaps he had a traumatic experience as a child and didn't like thinking about it. Or maybe he simply didn't like himself back then. It really didn't bother you, not until now.

His fingers were constantly tapping on the leather steering wheel, his jaw clenched as he stared blankly at the road. It was starting to worry you and the tapping was beginning to become obnoxious.

"Eds," You said softly, resting your hand on the middle console, "I can drive. You look a bit anxio–"

"NO!"

You immediately drew your hand back, staring at him with wide eyes. He never yelled at you.

He cleared his throat and his cheeks reddened when he realized what happened. "I mean, no. It's okay, I can drive."

You nodded and turned your head but kept him in your peripheral. You were worried but didn't make any other move to stop him, even as he uncharacteristically swerved through traffic.

•••

You shot up at the sudden bang that pierced the calm atmosphere of the hotel room. A panicked Eddie rushed (more like stumbled) in the room, not even caring to close the door behind him. He made his way to the suitcases, peeking inside. When he noticed they were empty (You emptied the clothes since you planned to stay for a bit), he dragged them to the single dresser in your room, flinging open the drawers and slinging the clothes messily into the bags.

"Woah, Eddie," You stressed, "What are you doing?"

"We can't stay here," He spoke quickly, "IT – We can't stay. They're batshit crazy."

You pushed yourself off the bed and crouched next to him, placing your hands gently on his shoulders. It was meant to be calming, but Eddie instantly jumped at the contact. "Sorry," You mumbled but kept your hands on his shoulders in an attempt to ground him.

"Okay," He shot up, causing you to slip on your back foot and fall on your butt. "Time to go."

"Eds," You called out, scrambling up from the floor and following behind him like a lost puppy. "Eddie," You called out again, "Tell me what's happening."

Eddie yanked the bags over the lip of the door, not even flinching when they hit the frame with a loud crack.

"Eduardo, ándele! Let's go!"

"Who's that?" You immediately shot out, "What's going on?"

When you made it to the main staircase, you paused, looking down at the three people on the main floor. Their bodies were stiff and the atmosphere felt suffocatingly tense.

"'Kay, I just have to grab my toiletry bag then we can go," Eddie announced, too lost in his own mind to notice the atmosphere of the room. Only when he looked up did his eyebrows furrow in confusion. "What'd I miss?"

•••

It would be a lie to say you were happy to meet his friends at the time you did. You thought it would be an exciting and eye-opening moment to finally meet the people your husband grew up with. They influenced the person he became today. However, all that was thrown out the door when one of them claimed to see every one of them die. You were mortified to hear that come from her lips but you thought it was some sort of inside joke so you decided to laugh.

You were wrong. Everyone looked at you like you were out of your mind, even Eddie. Immediately, you shut up and let them talk as you sat in a chair in the corner of the room.

The girl looked distraught, not at all like she was lying. The boys were taking her words very seriously. It was taking a toll on Eddie, pacing back and forth around the room.

Your head started to spin at their conversation. It was hard to comprehend, especially when two other people showed up talking about headlights and a fucking ritual of truth. Whatever that shit is.

You were only able to pick up on small things as the man spoke. Something about getting your tokens and defeating a monster? It was like you were living a movie.

When it was over, Eddie told you he was heading back up to the room with the bags. You nodded but didn't follow him, wanting to stay by yourself while you tried to wrap your head around everything. Nothing made sense right now.

"Drink?"

A deep voice brought you out of your daydream. When your vision cleared, you noticed a drink being held out to you. You followed the hand connected to the drink until you locked eyes with a man. One of Eddie's friends.

You thanked him quietly and accepted the drink, letting yourself take a decent sip before cradling it in your hands.

"So, why are you here?" The man asked you, carrying a drink in his own hands.

"I'm with Eddie."

"Bet you didn't expect to get dragged into this," He chuckled, a wide smile appearing on his face. You smiled back, your eyes widening in agreement. It felt a little bit awkward, you weren't expecting for one of Eddie's friends to interact with you but here you were. You wanted his friend to like you, it was a natural thing.

"I definitely didn't," You sighed, taking another sip of the strong drink. "Eddie never really talks about Derry. I was surprised he invited me to go with him."

The man raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Really? Ouch. So he never talks about us?"

You felt yourself heat up. Did you just out your husband? "Well, it's not like he did it on purpose or anything. From what I heard, I wouldn't want to think of what happened either."

"Yeah."

The two of you sat in silence for a while, letting everything sink in. When you broke the silence, his head quickly swiveled to face you. "So, what the heck were you guys talking about anyway? It was kind of hard to understand. Were you talking about a horror movie or something?"

The man laughed again, this time his laugh was a lot warmer. "Well, I guess I'll have to explain."

•••

Ben was actually a really nice guy. It wasn’t like you were expecting his friends to be mean but the openness and genuine kindness that Ben expresses was surprising after what happened the night before.

The other friends seemed to be engulfed in whatever was going on, including Eddie. When you got back to your room last night (mind still stirring from what Ben tried to explain to you), Eddie was already in the bed, staring at the ceiling. It was like he didn’t know you were there.

You didn’t blame him for staring off into space, heck you couldn’t even comprehend what Ben even told you! But you felt a bit worried. Eddie was always the type to talk things out (in more of a panic nonetheless) so him going completely silent was a bit uncomfortable.

Despite that, you couldn’t take it on yourself to shake him out of his daze, afraid he wouldn’t be even more scared than he was at the moment. You thought maybe letting him have his space is the best for right now.

Little did you know, that was the furthest thing from what Eddie wanted.

Eddie walked a few paces behind you and Ben as everyone walked further into the woods. Everyone was supposed to keep a lookout for the entrance of the clubhouse, but for some reason his eyes could not leave you.

Eddie could feel the sharp stings from his teeth chewing on his tongue as he watched you smile widely at his friend who was so obviously flirting with you. Although he wasn’t the best person when it came to flirting, Eddie could tell when someone liked you. And Ben definitely liked you.

He didn’t want to say anything about it even though it was getting on his last nerve. Every joke, every laugh, every playful line, it all swarmed Eddie’s head, repeating relentlessly until that was the only thing he could focus on.

You didn’t notice Eddie’s tension. You were too focused on getting along with Ben to realize that Eddie was losing his patience. It wasn’t until Eddie pulled you back that you were taken my surprise. You two were married, yes, but Eddie was still awkward with things like physical contact. Maybe it stemmed from his hypochondria. He just didn’t normally like to do things like hold hands or cuddle (at least not in public).

Yet here he was, his hands gripping yours in a firm (but still soft) hold. Eddie was giving Ben an uncharacteristic glare. He couldn’t help it. Eddiejust felt so much conflicting emotion that he did what was natural. And that was keeping you next to him, away from whatever Ben was trying to do.

You looked quickly between your husband and Ben. Ben looked as surprised as you. However, once he looked at Eddie, he turned back around and didn’t look back again. Despite his innocent exterior, the look in his eyes was anything but innocent.

“Eds,” You said quietly, leaning closer to his ear, “What’s going on?”

You really didn’t want to create a scene, especially in front of all his friends.

He didn’t respond, just gripping your hand tighter. Even as the sweat collected, he didn’t let go of your hand until they found the clubhouse.

You pulled Eddie away from the group for a moment, determined to find out whatever was wrong with him.

“Eddie,” You stressed, “You need to tell me what’s gotten into you. This definitely isn’t normal.”

Eddie bit his lip, scanning the situation. Even if he were to ignore it, he did not want an angry wife stomping around him.

“I just–“ 

Eddie struggled to find the correct words to describe what he felt. What even was it? He felt so angry but insecure at the same time. One of his good friends was shooting his shot with his wife. Was Eddie going insane? Was this all I’m his head? Surely not.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Eddie sighed, “Ben likes you.”

You let out a halfhearted laugh, not sure if he was joking or not. By the look on his face, he definitely wasn’t. “Wait. You’re serious?”

Eddie pursed his lips and looked to the side, heat beginning to blossom on his cheeks.

“Eds,” You cooed, “Ben is not trying to do anything. Besides, if he did, it wouldn’t matter anyway. I love you and only you. I swore my life to you.”

Eddie seemed to start to calm down once you finished. His shoulders dropped slightly and his breathing slowed.

You smiled at your husband, resisting the urge to roll your eyes at the whole situation. “I love you~” You cooed again, leaning in closer to his face.

Instantly, Eddie’s face lit up like Rudolph’s nose. It was sort of charming. He was still as flustered as he was when he first met you.

Eddie swallowed the rest of his insecurities and leaned forward too, leaving a short but sweet kiss on your lips.

“I love you too.”

[kkulmoon]

SUNSET HEARTBEAT | KTH

pairing: Taehyung x Reader (f)

genre: fantasy au, hybrid au, sci-fi (?), fluff, angst

word count: 5.1k

rating: pg

a/n: ngl i feel like the beginning portion is a bit rusty, by rusty I mean it may feel a bit slow but pls give it a chance 🥺, I struggled to write that 😭. I am also tagging two very lovely people who were excited about this, hopefully you like it uwu @blossomkoo​ @inkedxclouds​. This fic is part of Bangtan Scenery’s collab ‘April Showers Bring May Flowers’, make sure to check out everyone else’s entries!

warnings: implied sex, other than that none, except for heartbreak and slight purple patches here and there cause I was in the mood hehe

beta read by: lovely angie @scvkjin​ and amazing emi @bangtiddies​ 💕 

synopsis: The time had come for the seventh sun to rise. For the seventh and last color in line to have its cycle. As one indigo supernova signified the coming of a purple nebula, you and Taehyung spent the remaining of your last day together creating something of your own. If it comes into fruition can only be known years in the future. A decade after you found someone unlike anyone. Truly one of a kind. Someone with a destiny they couldn’t outrun. It has been 10 years since the birth of a purple sun.

☁︎ masterlist ☁︎

It was in your final year of university, twelve years ago, that you met Taehyung. That same year you decided it was time to give up on the idea of becoming an astronomer. Quite frankly, you were just too dumb. However, it did not mean that you couldn't enjoy it all while living a life where pretending that you truly understood everything was your best bet, your only bet. They all say that interest and dedication trumps natural talent, right? For that same reason you decided to still attend as many astronomy lectures as possible even though you were studying to become an English teacher. You were always quiet and attentive so either the professors didn't notice you or let you be. Either way, what mattered was that you got to be there.

The first time the two of you interacted was a random weekday in April, near finals’ season. You were sitting at the back of the room as usual. The professor had handed out some papers to be passed back. A gold tinted hand with slender fingers, on which well groomed and shiny fingernails were present, reached out to you. You could all but wave away at the paper, trying your best to dismiss it. A pouty and confused expression was what you got as he continued to jab the paper onto your palm. You kept trying to mouth 'it's okay' but he was persistent. Not much of a purple characteristic but surely a sun one, now that you think about it. Finally you settled for a verbal response.

“I don't actually take this class, so really, i'm fine.”

He retreated his hand for a second, “Huh, don't we all wish that was true,” he said as he placed the paper on the small desk in front of you instead. “You've got this! We're almost done, hold in there.” You got a thumbs up before he turned back to focus on the class.

And every week from there on, whenever he got a short moment in class while the professor was writing on the board Taehyung would pester you with motivational notes filled with sayings. One particular somber April morning where you looked more tired than usual he even went as far as offering to help you with the class and your homework. You did your best to decline and yet that same night you got an email in your inbox that told you he obviously hadn't understood.

| Kim Taehyung     Chapter 15: Helpful Resources, (hang on there, you got this!) |

While you didn't take the class and had no official obligations to learn anything, you were still interested in astronomy so you decided to have a look. The links did clear up some questions you had during the lecture. However, you didn't want him to be wasting time helping a lost cause. As much as you loved reading about astronomy and learning about it, you were slow and having him help you was more than unnecessary. The definition of futile work. You decided to send him a screenshot of the official classes you were attending from the university's student portal. You made sure to censor your grades. He truly didn't need to think that you were any dumber, all he needed was proof that you weren't taking the class.

But once again, Taehyung's sun qualities shone through. Where it would have been expected for the person to drop the subject and for the two of you to go back to your habitual behaviour, he thought otherwise. He responded, but this time instead of answers he had questions, none of which you felt like answering so you left him on read. Well, the email version of read. You opened the email, read it, thought about answering it but ultimately left the email thread to die on the read pile.

A week went by. No Taehyung and you felt relieved. At least that's how you think you felt, the sleep deprivation might have been playing tricks on you. As yet another day came, where the indigo sun let its rays shine, Taehyung thought it better for him to act as the sun. You hadn't seen him in class, but it just turned out he changed his usual spot. He tried to catch you before you left the room but your daydreaming self was quick on her feet. He had a quick talk with the professor before he hurried to you.

“Hey!” The sound of sandals echoed against the cement floor. “Hey! You there!" 

You kept on walking, as far as you knew your name wasn’t you there'.  Someone grumbled behind you only to exclaim after a short while. 

“Y/N! Y/N! Hold up, I need to talk to you.” So in that case you were 'you there' and someone was Taehyung. 

You stopped walking and turned around. You couldn’t help but cock your head at him. You had only seen Taehyung from the torso up while in class. His attire surprised you for some reason. Maybe because he was a STEM student and you had expected him to look more uptight. He looked like one of the people from the pot dorm down your hallway.  Everything he wore was oversized except for the big knitted headband he had on now that he was outside. He looked devoid of colour with his muted clothes, but his cross body bag stood out with its patterned rainbow material.

"Yeah, what is it?" The quicker you could get it over with the better. However, Taehyung didn’t seem to agree with you on that aspect. He took his sweet time to fix the misplaced headband as you were left to witness the action. As much as you would have liked to categorise the scene as boring, it would have been a lie. His grey hair strands somehow managed to sparkle in the sun. They didn’t shine the normal way hair shines when light reflects on it. His hair literally sparkled as if it had recognised something familiar within the sun rays. But at the time you just thought you were being delusional or being tricked by the elements of his beauty.

"You didn't answer my email," he asked with curious eyes and an innocent tone. Right, that happened.

"Oh, that... uhm... I just haven't gotten the time to go through my email, things have been a bit hectic," you shot him a sympathetic smile.

Taehyung seemed like a pretty understanding person but he sure wasn’t dumb. You saw the way his tongue shifted to lick his lips as his teeth found their way onto his bottom lip. He trailed his hands on the strap of his bags as a pensive lip bite made adorned his features. Taehyung could have either been nervous or so irked by the bullshit you just spat at him that his body was reacting. Either way you felt bad for your white lie, but maybe not bad enough.

"It has been two weeks though," Taehyung stretches his back to stand straighter, "Also I take a chem class with Hoseok and you're always chatting in the gmail chat so..." 

What do you say to that? You lied and the worst part of it all was that you were caught right in the same moment. Your mouth opened and closed continuously as a hot flush made itself present on your ears and neck. You made note of the fact that Taehyung seems sweet but he actually packed a punch and was definitely ready to confront you on your bullshit. Classic STEM student approach, just face things head on. Thinking back at it, that was yet another instance in which his sun characteristics took the wheel. The sun's rays don't budge for anything or anyone and they certainly don't cave in to make others feel comfortable.

"Uhmm... right. But I am here now, so ask away!" Maybe your fake enthusiasm could make up for your little lie. Taehyung gave you a wondering look as he calculated  the pros and cons of continuing this conversation, You hoped the cons would win. 

“Uhmm, alright, fair enough,” He shrugged and the pros must have won because he kept talking. “Why do you go to astronomy lessons if you don’t take the class?”

Why did he want to get into your personal business? You could have very well told him that it was none of his business, turned around and left. But that seemed a tad bit too rude for you and for some weird reason you didn't want him to think of you as any more rude that you had been.

Would you paint yourself as an overly ambitious student that just had a general love of learning or would you tell him the truth? If you were to lie again you were sure he wouldn't manage to uncover this lie.

"I just like astronomy and find the class interesting, on top of that I've got time so like why not?" You felt good about your response, so good you were happy that you had made the choice not to lie to him, again.

"Oh okay, then how come you didn't apply for the program?" Wow, this dude was really trying to uncover all of your flaws during the first real conversation you've had. He should have become a detective instead, his focused and analysing eyes made it very hard for you to lie and not feel any residual guilt. He would, without a doubt, catch you if you were to slip up again.

"Uhm... I just felt like education was the right place for me you know." You shook your head with squinted eyes in hopes that he would just get you. Which he obviously didn’t if you had to go off of the way his jaw jutted out to the side. 

"Well, to put it simply, I am not the brightest of students and while actually taking the class would have been a nightmare, just being there and listening and learning at my own slow pace just makes me feel better about my shortcomings."

Taehyung's lips parted slightly. Okay, maybe you didn't have to give such a confession but he had been pushing and you wanted it to just end.

"Ohh, I see." Not the response you expected but how else do you respond to someone who said that they were too dumb to follow their dream. "But still my offer stands, if you need help trying to understand anything, feel free to tap my shoulder in class."

"But you changed seats to sit in the front."

"Nah not really, I was just bitter that you hadn't answered and didn't want to hurt you. From now on you'll see me at my usual spot in front of you."

The squeamish movement that accompanied the words ‘hurt you’ gave rise to a wondering look on your face. Hurt you? Why would he hurt you? Taehyung looked pretty harmless so you decided to not take his weird comment at face value. He most likely meant hurting you in a verbal sense.

The rest of the semester progressed in that same weird manner that characterised your relationship with Taehyung. A constant push and pull that kept being encouraged by your closest friends– Hoseok being the top player in the game. Inevitably, the more time you spent with him the more you warmed up to him. A month down the road the two of you decided to put a label on it. Or it was more so you who needed a verbal confirmation that you had somehow managed to catch someone's interest.

It took you awhile to reset the way you thought. Your wandering mind wasn’t only filled with personal affairs anymore, another individual had found their place in your day to day thoughts. All of a sudden being affectionate wasn't something you had to actively be, it was simply default mode whenever Taehyung crossed your field of vision.

For that reason alone, finals season was filled with movie nights, whispered love confessions, enough takeaways from different cuisines that you felt you were now ready to become a food critic. But the most precious instances of that time was the afternoons where Taehyung did his best to teach you astronomy and you being too lazy to listen despite your interest. You can't help but ask yourself if you would have been more attentive had you known what astronomy actually meant to him.

You had now been with Taehyung for one entire year. One year filled with diametrically opposite feelings. The good, the bad and the ugly. But ultimately all of it was left at the door the moment the two of you decided to reconcile despite the drawbacks. You were happy. The kind of happy that you don't recognise until it's gone. That can only be acknowledged in the midst of incoming fury. You had never in your life wished for the ability to predict the future. To see what happens after sunrise before it is manifested. 

One particular day eleven years ago, you wished that astronomy was fake, that the sun wasn't real and that it never needed to rise or set, to be born or die. You wished the sun didn't exist, knowing very well that that would mean the most important person in your life wouldn't exist. But you could have dealt with that. 

Longing for something you know you could have hurts far more than craving for the unknown. In the latter situation there's at least hope, that if you search hard and long enough you could find that thing you so deeply want. In the former, you know where that thing is, it's in fact right under your nose, or more accurately right over your head, where you can feel it at least a little bit every single day. Except this time you can't have it, no matter how hard you wish for it or how long you choose to wait. The whole scenario was like a twisted marshmallow test. Made to incite cravings with no intention of ever quenching them.

This all started a year following the start of your relationship with Taehyung. At that time you took notice to how hot he would get at the most unexpected of times. A behaviour that was usually reserved for when he was irritated or angry. It wasn’t only him that was hot but he radiated the kind of heat reserved for an extremely sunny summer’s day. 

You overlooked those instances and decided not to pay them too much mind. It could just be you having the extreme hots from him. However on a particular night, you just couldn’t bring yourself to stay in bed with Taehyung. The sheets were drenched and the windows had fogged up. You had to leave and find refuge in your living room sleeping right by a fan. 

The coming morning you woke up to breakfast on the table and right beside it there was a thick pocket sized book. The Book Of Suns. That was the white title that was engraved onto the black cover. Taehyung was nowhere to be found but his belongings were still in your room so you assumed he had gone for his morning walk. 

You had to make a choice between the two. Would you read the book first or you would eat breakfast first? You knew that whatever you were about to find out would most likely curb your appetite. Your hand glided against the rough cover of the book. 

Wouldn't it be better to read it now, just in case something made you extremely sad? That way you could cry before he got back home. Whatever it was that you were about to find out was very important to him, important enough that he wanted you to form your own opinion of it in peace. He wanted in no way for his presence to taint your reaction towards the truth that he had been hiding. Or as he thought protecting you from.

You sat down by the table, knees to your chest as you brought the book onto your hands. 'The Book Of Suns' was, as you realised after reading it, just that, a book about suns, in particular Taehyung’s sun lineage. It was a story about your world’s suns, the rainbow sun family. A fact unknown to you before that very moment. You were surprised by your behaviour, you weren’t exactly known for having calm reactions. It must have been Taehyung’s scent on the sweater you wore. It tickled your nose and calmed your senses. The book served as a track record for the next person in line to become the sun. It had seven chapters. Beside each chapter title in the contents page there were small vertical lines. The first six suns had five lines while the last had four. Taehyung must be purple sun. You read silently or more so you attempted to read silently, the deep breaths you were taking in effort to digest everything couldn't be contained.

After a continuous hour of reading you got to what was perhaps the most interesting chapter. Where do the dead suns go? And most importantly what do the suns that have yet to be born stay? You were cautious about continuing your reading. What if you found out that Taehyung was in fact just the ghost of someone that didn't actually exist? Or worse what if Taehyung would cease to exist? 

Fear curbed your initiative to let your eyes continue their dance on the page. But fear also did its job in fixating your attention on the slightly faded black letters present on the off-white pages. Fear of the unknown is always worse than that of the known.

Deep in the forest, there was the garden of suns. Every time a sun died and resurrected as a human, their statue appeared in the garden, where their sun soul was kept, only to vanish on the day of their sun birth. In the middle of the pages there was a picture, at the back of it you could read Taehyung’s harsh handwriting ‘The garden of suns -15/07/39’. He had been there four days ago.

The statues of the first five suns were covered with vibrant collared moss equivalent of their sun pigment. The sixth and seventh sun’s statues were only slightly visible in the photograph. They seemed to be in an intermediary phase. Not quite gone, yet not quite there. It was hard to figure out whether they were emerging or vanishing. That’s until you remembered the previous week’s news report. A supernova was on its way and scientists believed it would most likely occur near the end of next year. 

The indigo sun is near its death, and a purple sun is nearing its ascent. 

Taehyung’s statue was the one vanishing. His sun soul was ready to find its owner and ascend to its rightful place amongst the other stars. Just as you were about to continue reading, ready to delve into how this whole sun birth situation went about, the sound of metal clashing against metal resounded in the dead silence. Clinging keys and heavy steps entered the apartment. 

No 'hello' or 'glad to see you're finally awake'. But could you blame him? It would have been weird to act as if it was like any other of your usual mornings. You wished you had mustered up the strength to get off the chair and go greet him at the entrance. In your mind you did that but in reality you stayed rooted right where you were, back squeezed into the corner between the table and chair.

Taehyung walked in to lean against the door frame that lead into the kitchen. He looked exhausted. Dark under eye bags decorated weary eyes. You thought you could hear a tentative squeak come out of his mouth. Maybe you should've said something, because he looked like he was hurting and trying to find the appropriate words to start a conversation he knew would only end with heartache and tears. You thought that talking about the small steps he made outside was a good way to segue into talking about the biggest step he would take in his life. One that he could unfortunately not walk back on. 

"How was your walk?" You managed to ask before Taehyung walked past the kitchen and into the bedroom. He stopped midway, standing in the living room, where sun rays illuminated his surroundings. You couldn't help but think that it was very fitting for him to become a sun. The rays may have been bright and hot but he was the only one able to make you feel as hot as the sun and make your smile shine brighter than the biggest star. He was already a sun. Your sun. Why did he need to leave and become everyone's sun as well?

"Pretty good, helped me wake up," he said and sat down on the bean bag present beside him. You put the book down on the dining table just to look back at him from your seat. You were just there, in the moment, sitting down and doing your best to have an internal conversation. Both of you knew that words would hurt too much. And they surely couldn't bear the complete weight of what your current predicament meant neither could they have illustrated the joint pain that was shared between two beating hearts.

Your conversation might have been dead but the emotion was very much alive. You stood up from your seat, Taehyung's knitted sweater fell back down to caress your thighs. The walk to the beanbag felt like an eternity, not because it was but because you made it so. You had felt his sour and vigilant mood and you knew that being playful at that moment was your best bet. You tiptoed back and forth all the way to the beanbag as the sweater shifted here and there to reveal skin that was highlighted blue by the sun.

He was upset but he couldn't manage to keep his mouth set. His lips would stretch and unstretch as small playful wiggles played at the tip of his mouth. Finally you had found your way to the bean bag. You stood tall as your body cast a shadow over his. You placed a foot on the bean bag as the material sunk under your weight and you found your place on his lap. 

Right there, that's the kind of pat in the back that Taehyung gave you as his arms enveloped your slouching form. You snuggled your head deep into the crook of his neck and inhaled all the way in. If he was really gonna be leaving you, you needed to make sure you could imprint the scent and feel of his flesh right onto yours.

You sat there, quiet, with synchronised breaths yet fighting thoughts. How in the heck were you supposed to manage this? Him just being gone? Sure, you had a year left before it was officially time, but a year is far from a lifetime, what he had promised you.

"You are sure you don't want to talk about it?" Long hand strokes continue to comfort your back. You move your buried head side to side, groaning in response. Alright is all he said. Things were far from alright.

While on that morning you decided not to talk further on the topic, the coming months were filled with explorative trips to the Garden of Suns, where you would spend hours listening to Taehyung tell you about the stories of him and his sun brothers. He talked about being particularly close to the blue sun.

"It's just because he literally has no filter," he said gazing longingly at the statue covered with flashy blue moss.

"Is that like, dangerous?"

"Well yeah for you, but I am a sun remember." He turned around on the grass to face your way.

"And that's probably why I orbit around you." The huge grin that found its ways to your face was uncontrollable and contagious as Taehyung couldn’t help but snicker at your corny joke.

Just like that, your months together flew by until it was finally d-day. You hoped that waking up wouldn't be a necessity but Taehyung refused to let you sleep through it. He refused to let you think that it was all a dream. Getting yourself off the bed and into the shower felt like an endless task. One that he was patient enough to help you with. In hindsight you feel bad about having put him through that on such a significant day. He was, most likely, having a harder time dealing with his destiny than you were. That day was one to remember, the most vivid of them all, the most cherished of them all yet the most sad of them all.

All of that happened in the past and you were currently in an unsure present. The indigo sun had faced its fate, to be extinguished in an equally coloured supernova that would give rise to the last one in line, a purple sun. One day they would all be back to the complete cycle. A day where you wouldn't be present.

It has been ten years since Taehyung became a sun. You could talk to him, well, not really but you could see him and most importantly feel him. It had been a decade since you asked him to leave you something to remember him by, a part of him, a living one. On the night of Taehyung’s sun birth he decided to take you up on the offer. Cuddled up, in each other’s arms that’s how the day progressed. While usually persistent yet gentle, that night Taehyung felt it was appropriate and maybe in fact vital for him let his sun like ferocity be expressed. How else could you have understood the intensity of his feelings, a muddy mix of grief and love. The remains of that one last heated night were left for you to admire and cherish.

You thought you would manage to stay up the entire night to witness the purple sun birth but Taehyung’s warmth, forehead kisses and soft singing lulled you to sleep before you could realise it. 

Nothing was felt. No heat, no cold. Nothing was seen. No light, no spark. Taehyung was gone into the void in the same effortless way he entered your life. You’ve now been waiting over a decade to know if the fruits of that night would come into fruition. Conception can only happen when eclipses take place. Eclipses happen every 126 months. It has been 10 years. Half a year is left.

That half year could not have passed at a slower pace. It was a Thursday, yet another tiring day at school. You loved kids but you were drained of energy. You couldn't wait for time to pass by so that you could leave. It was Thursday, which meant you could watch the sunset to its complete  end without being bothered. It was also Thursday, the day after you got your first ultrasound. Taehyung may have not been there but that didn't mean you couldn't share the remaining of your waking hours with him, whenever you thought it was possible. You looked out of the window from your classroom to see purple hues in the sky as the sun said goodbye to leave place to another night.

The clouds thought otherwise, for some reason they always felt the need to be there to cloud his presence. What right did they have to cover up his tint? If it weren’t for them you would have been able to bask in his purple light, let it colour you bare as your feelings went from blank to purple butterflies that made you lose sight as tears formed in your eyes.

So you did what any sensible person still in love would have done. As soon as the clock struck 4 pm you ran to catch the train that would take you from skyscraper views to wide flower fields. It took the train two hours. You did your best to enjoy the way he set along the ride. Once you arrived you were left with two entire hours to enjoy the last of him and say goodbye to Taehyung and hello to the darkness.

During that time you reached into Taehyung's patterned cross body bag. You truly hated it but it was his so you kept it. You pulled out the ultrasound picture and raised it to the little part of sun that was still left. You didn't actually think that he would, through some weird magical way, actually be able to see it. It was more so something to calm your conscience. But most importantly, it presented you with the opportunity to capture an unusual family picture. It was you, the ultrasound, your baby bump and the purple sunset all in one picture. One that had found its rightful place on your bedside table.

Years unmasked themselves to reveal the growth of your child. One that grew to inherit the intensity of her father. Every now and then you made sure to let her know about him. As young as she was she couldn't truly understand it all, but as a child your love story was something that was within imaginable grounds. So you took advantage of that and taught her all you could about him. Maybe if you started early she could manage to develop past your less refined genes with regards to learning.

You took your time to tell her all that she wished to know and all that you wished to share. Sugarcoating to the maximum, cause that’s what Taehyung would do, but still making sure to keep a coherent timeline. One specific day you are unable to answer her question.

"Wh–why did dad break the promish?"

You had to fight long and hard with your tear ducts. Never had you cried in front her and you didn't intend to do it anytime soon.

In fact in one way or the other, Taehyung hadn't lied about keeping his promise. He had omitted some important specifics but he hadn't completely been untruthful. He said a lifetime and he would give you a lifetime. It just happened to be one where he wasn't always there, present by your side. 

However he would always get up to see you rise, and always say goodbye as he sets down to give place for lonely nights. And on all of those goodbyes unlike the one where he left you for the first and last time, you could swear that in bed with your child pressed to your chest, you could feel and hear his sunset heartbeat as clear and strong as the rays of a certain purple sun, your only one. Sun rays filled with his most cherished truth: 

‘I will turn purple when i miss you and to say i love you’.

Posted: May 28, 2020

[everything-is-by-design]

Dream a Little Dream of Me

Female reader. I had an urge to write some smut after a long hiatus. I hope it’s not too shit. Enjoy!

Word Count: 5k

Castiel x Reader

Warnings: Just straight up smut, dom!cas, some kinky shit too.

Reader has been suffering from nightmares while a horny Castiel dreams about everything he wants to do to the reader. Cas gets his wish and the reader finally has a good dream. Duel point of view.

Castiel sighed as he thought about his day. The four of you had gone on a hunt and things had gotten rather hairy. He remembered doing his best to protect you from harm and the feeling of relief when he knew you were safe. He looked down the hallway and it seemed to stretch out before him. He wanted to go into your room and check on you. But no, he wanted to do more than that. He wanted to hold you and touch you. A shiver passed through his body as he daydreamed about being more than a little intimate with you. He wanted to push you up against the wall and hold your hands above your head. He wanted to pleasure your cunt and make you look at him while he did it. Castiel leaned against the wall of the bunker for support as his breathing quickened exponentially. “Why, Father? Why her? Why someone I can’t get away from?”

Castiel walked down the hallway slowly, thinking of your naked body up against his, your hands tied behind your back. He thought of fucking you senseless and you screaming out his name like some kind of unholy prayer. Castiel covered his face with his hands, “If I knew having a Mate was going to be this infuriating, I would have opted out of it all together.”

He hung his head low and slumped his shoulders down. As if in defeat. When suddenly, he heard distress coming from your room. You were his first priority, he could worry about his urges another time. He walked quickly to your room and knocked firmly on your door…

“I’m coming to get you. I’m coming to get you. I’m coming to hurt you. I’m coming to kill you.” A horrible smoke beast shrieked at the top of its lungs as it hurdled towards you. You ran as fast as you could until reaching the end of the road; a cliff. With the monster close at your heels you had two choices. Fight or die. Unfortunately, you didn’t have time to decide because the earth crumbled underneath you. You tried to scream as you fell, but nothing came out. Then everything went black.

You shot up in bed, breathing ragged and sweat pouring down your face. Your pillow was soaked with sweat and you noticed your fists curled around the blankets, knuckled white as a sheet. Before you could get your barring, you heard three raps at your door. You slowly started to realize where you were; the bunker. Your voice shook when you answered, “Y-Yes?”

“Can I come in?” You heard a gruff voice say from the other side of the door.

“Yes,” You said, trying to keep your voice steady. The door opened and a confused Castiel entered your room. He shut the door behind him which, oddly, made you start to hyperventilate. You couldn’t help but feel invisible walls closing in around you. “Hi, Cas.”

“Are you alright, Y/N? You’re heartbeat is elevated and your breathing is rapid.” Castiel’s brow was slightly furrowed as he studied your current state. You gestured for him to sit on the end of your bed and he complied.

“I’m f-fine,” You cursed yourself for stuttering in his presence. You never liked to show weakness around angels, especially Castiel. You’d been drawn to him since you first met the Winchesters but you refused to show it. There could be nothing good regarding loving an angel. And yet, you always found yourself entranced.

“If you tell me what’s wrong, maybe I can help,” Castiel offered.

“I had…a bad dream,” You said, making eye contact with him for a split second and then looking away.

Shock spread over his face, “Does this normally happen when you have nightmares?”

“Every time, yes,” You nodded.

“How often does it happen?” He asked, sounding genuinely concerned for your wellbeing.

“Every night,” You said, feeling a rather unpleasant shiver run down your spine.

His eyes widened slightly. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

You shrugged, letting go of your blankets and gestured towards him. “What could you have done? Made some warm milk? Made me a lavender eye pillow? Nothing helps. Look,” you paused, opening your bedside table’s drawer. You reached in and pulled out a small pill bottle. You shook the canister in front of him. “Even these little fuckers don’t help.”

“Clearly, this has gotten out of hand. We could have called Rowena, she might have had a spell that would help.” Castiel moved a little closer to you in an attempt to be comforting.

“That wouldn’t have worked either,” You spat. You drew back, shocked at your attitude towards this whole thing. It wasn’t like it was Castiel’s fault. You didn’t apologize to him but you tried to relax your tense muscles a bit.

“Why not?” Castiel asked, getting a little frustrated with your attitude.

“It’s like the monsters in my dreams know that I’m alone. They know that I’m an easy target. I know that sounds weird, but it’s true. I don’t know if I’ve been cursed or what, but I’m so tired, I just want to sleep.” You couldn’t help the few tears that escaped your eyes and ran down your cheeks. This seemed to greatly alarm the angel and he reached out a hand and laid it on your arm. The moment his skin made contact with yours, you felt an intense jet of energy spread through you. He looked at his hand, did he feel that too?

He moved even closer to you and using his other hand, wiped away your tears. He drew back his hand and a bright shine of blush passed over his cheeks. He scratched the back of his head awkwardly and didn’t make eye contact. “Uh, would it be helpful if I stayed with you for the rest of the night?”

Your heart, that had relatively calmed down by now, started beating faster again. But this time it wasn’t from fear. He seemed to notice and gestured as if to take back his offer. You did something out of the ordinary and grabbed onto his hand. “Stay, please.”

He blinked and his flushed cheeks turned a deeper shade of pink. He stood and grabbed a chair and brought it to face the bed.

You narrowed your eyes, “So, what? You’re just gonna sit there and stare at me?”

Castiel looked at the chair and then to the empty side of your bed. “Do you have another idea?”

It was your turn to blush this time. You ran your fingers through your hair and shrugged, “Well, um, you could sit next to me, on the, uh, bed.”

He gulped, looking nervous. Cas thought about what he’d rather be doing to you instead of sleeping. A small bead of sweat rolled down the back of his neck, betraying him. Castiel cursed himself as this was not the time to think about such things. He nodded and walked around to the other side of the room. He kicked off his shoes and took off his trench coat. Shit, he was taking off his clothes. You felt pressure welling up inside your lower abdomen and silently scolded your cooter for getting excited. He was an angel, he probably had never been intimate with a human before. He probably looked down on such a carnal act. You drew back the blankets for him and he blinked a few times at your action. The bed sunk where he sat and he leaned against the headboard.

You put the blankets up over him and yourself as you got cozy again. Castiel shimmied down the bed so he was lying down too as if to copy you. Like he didn’t know any sleep etiquette. He put his hands behind his head and let out a slightly shaky sigh. Cas found himself almost in a state of prayer to himself as he fought with his own mind. How he’d love to drive you into the bed, pumping in and out of your tight, wet pussy like a jackhammer. Castiel glanced downwards and was glad the blankets were covering his erection. You decided to just take the plunge into being extremely uncomfortable and asked him the question that had been burning through your head. “So, is this your first time in bed with a human?”

He drew in air sharply and held it there. You stared up at him while he kept his gaze on the ceiling. He exhaled heavily and replied, “No. Well, sort of.”

Instant jealousy spread through your body which made you prop yourself up on your arm to get a better look at him. “Who popped your cherry?”

This time he did look at you, “My what?”

You widened your eyes in embarrassment. How on earth were you going to explain that in a different way? “Uh, your virginity?”

And just like that he snapped his gaze away from you once again. His chest rose and fell slowly, like he kept holding his breath and forgetting to release it. “It was with a reaper. I thought she was a human at the time. I was human too back then. So, I wouldn’t have even known what she was without my Grace. We had intercourse, which was enjoyable,” He paused and rubbed his eyes with his hand. “And then she stabbed me.”

“Like literally?” You gaped at him, feeling a little less jealous.

He kept his hand over his face but you could see a faint smile on his lips, “Yes, she actually stabbed me. In my chest. With my angel blade.”

You covered your mouth with your hand. “Why? Was…was it because of the sex?”

A small chuckle escaped his lips and he met your eyes with his again. “No, she enjoyed that part. She wanted information from me and used sex and warm clothing to seduce me. I was living on the street at the time.”

You let all of that information wash over you and then smiled at him, “I was definitely not expecting any of that.”

“What were you expecting?” Castiel asked, looking sideways at you.

“I don’t know, maybe something a little less violent,” You offered. He turned on his side to face you. You leaned back a bit, becoming a little flustered by his proximity.

“Well, is this your first time in bed with an angel?” He asked and then immediately  recoiled, as if he felt his question was inappropriate. He silently begged you to say yes. Castiel cringed at the thought of another angel claiming you. You were meant to be his.

“It’s okay,” You reassured him. “It’s only fair. Yes, this is my first time, uh, in bed with an angel.”

You both were a little flustered and laid on your backs away from each other. “Maybe we should—”

“I’m glad it’s you,” You said before you could stop yourself. You turned and saw that he was watching you. You were sure that your face was beet red by now but you couldn’t help yourself.

“I am too,” Castiel said very quietly, almost inaudible.

“Would you be upset if my answer was different?” You asked, more to yourself then to him.

A strange kind of rage pulsed through him and he grabbed onto your arm. He pressed his forehead to yours and breathed heavily. “You’re not meant for anyone else, Y/N.”

You blinked, “What? What does that mean?”

Castiel couldn’t help himself at this point. He lifted your chin and your lips met in a very intense and desperate kiss. When he broke the kiss, he felt out of breath. He wanted you. He needed you. “You’re meant to be mine.”

“Says who?” You asked, a little exasperated.

“My father, he assigned our Mates,” Castiel said in a low and hushed voice. He imagined bending you over the desk on the other side of the room. He couldn’t control himself.

A thousand questions spread through your mind but as you looked in his eyes, you felt relief. You had felt a pull to him too, a great longing, a burning lust. And now that he had confirmed his feelings towards you too, you knew there had to be a reason behind it. You answered him by kissing him again, passionately. You laced your fingers in his hair and bit on his bottom lip. He moaned into you and you could feel the atmosphere getting lighter by the second. All that fear and pain from before had vanished. He was meant to be yours. You broke the kiss and he looked a bit shaken up. “I don’t want to spoil the moment but—”

A yawn hit you in the middle of your sentence and his eyes softened almost instantly. Cas didn’t want to stop. He wanted to ravage you right here and now, but he remembered how exhausted you were. Cas wanted you to be awake and alert and able to enjoy him fucking you. He let out a soft sigh, “Get some sleep, Y/N. We can continue this tomorrow.”

You snuggled in close to him and wrapped your arm around his chest. He held onto your back with one hand and with the other he held your arm. He kissed your forehead as you relaxed into him. Castiel eased up a bit, feeling relieved that he got a chance to tell you his feelings. He sighed happily, looking forward to what tomorrow would bring.

As you both drifted off to sleep you found yourself in another dream world. This world was different than the last though. There was no darkness, and no panic or fear. And absolutely no smoke creatures trying to eat you. You stood in a field of white and yellow flowers. You walked through it, letting your fingers touch the tall plants on your way. You stopped after a few minutes when you came to a four poster bed with white mesh-like drapes. You studied the bed; it had white crisp sheets, fluffy pillows and a lush duvet.

“Hello?” You heard a voice from behind the bed. You looked closer and saw huge feathered appendages appear from around the corner of the bed. They were attached to a very familiar face. “Y/N?”

You giggled, “Cas? What are you wearing?”

Castiel was clad in a white dress shirt, that was unbuttoned to reveal his torso and white pants. He was barefoot. He looked down, “Uh…”

You took that moment to study your own attire. You wore a light ivory sundress. It flowed around you gently. You wondered how because there wasn’t a breeze. You looked back up at Castiel, “Why are you hiding?”

He mumbled something inaudible.

“Yeah, I didn’t hear that,” You said.

“My wings, they’re kind of private. I can’t make them go away.” Castiel tried folding them behind his back but they kept popping out, almost like they were trying to get a better look at you.

You scratched your head, “Well, aren’t we supposed to be Mates? Shouldn’t I be allowed to see them?”

You heard him sigh, “Yes, you are, but I don’t want you to be afraid.”

This confused you a bit. You made a move forward but he held out his hand to stop you.

“Don’t,” Castiel urged.

“Cas,” You said, concern filling your voice. “Why would I be afraid?”

“This body is not my true form. For some reason my wings have come through in their true form. Not size wise, I mean my true form is colossal.”

“Okay, well I’ll be open minded then,” You said, hoping he’d let you see them. Castiel looked at you for a solid minute, his thoughts running through his mind at full force. You looked at him expectantly. Eventually he nodded and you approached. The angel stepped out from behind the bed post. You stood in front of him, a few feet apart. Castiel made a twitch-like movement and unfurled his wings. They spread wide, stretching and reaching as far as they could.

You stepped back, not out of fear, but out of wonder. You wanted to see all of them. They weren’t plain or white either. The huge wings stretched about eight feet long. His wings aren’t what you’d expected. Two sets of deep blue wings protruded from his shoulder blades. They weren’t a light blue or a navy blue. No, they were so dark it seemed as if they were black. A beautiful midnight blue, and contained within each feather were stars, some bursting into supernovas and some swirling into small galaxies. Along the top of his wings, where the bones resided were eyes. You couldn’t tell if they were human or animal eyes but they seemed to be cat-like with an amber iris.

You were stunned, mouth gaping, and a hand outstretched. Castiel flinched when your fingers made contact with his feathers. “Oh, I’m sorry, did that hurt?”

He watched you closely as you marvelled at his wings. “No, it’s just that…no one has ever touched them except me.”

“Oh,” You withdrew your hand, feeling a bit embarrassed that you’d done that. Castiel caught your hand though. He held your arm firm in his grasp but not tight enough to harm you. You looked up at him, he seemed a bit taller in this world. “I’m sorry, I should have asked first.”

His gaze was cast down upon you hungrily, “Don’t stop.”

He released your hand and you proceeded to run your fingers through his feathers. As you moved through the long yet light feathers, you stared in awe at the stars held within. You had so many questions. You could barely comprehend them as it was, you were sure that nothing would help you understand them, so you just took them in as they were. You looked up to the angel and were surprised to find tears rolling down your cheeks. Castiel wiped them away and held your face in his hands. He looked concerned. This was not the reaction he thought he would receive.

“You’re s-so beautiful,” You stammered. Castiel enclosed the both of you in among his wings, wrapping them around you as he pulled you into his chest. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”

“It’s alright, little one, I understand.” Castiel kissed your forehead and slowly unfurled his wings to release you.

You pointed at the eyes on the wings, “Can you, uh, see out of those?”

He smiled lazily, moving to lean against the bedpost again. He folded his arms across his chest. “Not really. They see events of the past, present, and future. They are the Eyes of Knowledge.”

You nodded. You looked around the field and then up into the sky where twin suns shone on the flowers below. “Where are we?”

“I’m not sure. I know we’re asleep. This must be some kind of dream realm.” Castiel said, looking around.

“Why the bed though?” You pondered, walking closer to the middle of the it. You caught the angel staring at you.

“Can you not think of a reason?” A sly smile creeped over his face. This was not a side of Castiel you were used to seeing.

You were a little shocked, “So, did we both conjure the bed or am I just that horny?”

“I think it was a joint effort,” Castiel said, slowly walking towards you. He placed his hands on your hips when he reached you and squeezed. The sensation sending shivers down to your core. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted to touch you?”

More shivers. “But it’s not even real. We’re asleep.”

“Well, we can always do it again when we’re awake,” Castiel shrugged. “Who said dreams weren’t real?”

He spun around, picking you up, and tossing you on the bed. You let out a small yelp of surprise. You sighed happily a little as you realized that maybe angels did enjoy primal acts of passion such as the one that was soon to follow. And the idea that Castiel was dominant and strong in bed rather than soft and gentle was a huge turn on. The hunger in his expression elicited more pressure in your abdomen, a familiar sensation that filled you often when he was around. “What are you thinking about?”

He shrugged, “Tearing off that pretty white dress of yours.”

You half laughed, “O-Okay. How often have you thought about this?”

“Ever since I laid eyes on you. We’re both able to sense the Mate bond but I feel it more intensely than you. So, I’ve been in heat for a few months now.” Castiel managed to shrug off his shirt over his wings. Your eyes glazed over as you took in his chest and abs. Holy abs. Not too defined but still chiseled to perfection.

You snapped out of your daze when his words washed over you again. “Wait, you’ve known about this for months? Why did you wait until now to tell me?”

“Would it have made a difference?” Castiel asked, sounding a little sad.

“Yes! I have feelings for you, I want to be yours, I want you to touch me like how we both daydream about. I’ve been going to bed for months with a vibrator when I could have had the real thing?” You were a tad exasperated with him.

You playfully smacked his shoulder. He caught your arm once again, “Play nice, kitty.”

Castiel moved over you, climbing up onto the bed, still holding onto your wrist. He gently, but firmly pushed you down onto the bed. Oh god, was this it? After months of waiting for this very moment, this was finally it? You prayed silently to not wake up and find him missing from your room. You felt the anticipation building and your pussy was slick with excitement and arousal.

Castiel raised your wrist above your head and then nodded at the other one. You willingly gave the angel your other arm. He held both of your wrists with one hand while his free hand wandered downwards. Before he reached your pussy, he paused, “Do you want me?”

You breathed heavily, “Uh huh.”

He shook his head, “I need an actual answer, Y/N.”

You smiled, “Yes, Castiel, I want you.”

He grinned, “That’s a good girl.”

You arched your back up and pressed your body into his at the sound of his words.

“Ah, you like that, don’t you?” Castiel asked as he lightly pressed his fingers against the white lace panties you were wearing. Your answer came as small whimper but it wasn’t quite the answer he was looking for. Sarcasm heavily coated his words, “Sorry, I didn’t catch that, try again.”

“Y-Yes, I like it,” You shuddered.

“Better, could use some work though,” He breathed into your ear. “Can you tell me your safe words?”

Your breathing was fast, “How do you know about safe words?”

He looked a little offended, “I’ve done my research. Go on.”

“Green is go, yellow is slow down, and red is stop.”

Castiel nodded, keeping his eyes trained on your panties. “Are you going to do as you’re told, Y/N?”

“Yes,” You answered audibly this time.

“Yes, what?” He asked, pressing his thumb into your clit over your panties.

A slight panic filled you as you hadn’t discussed a title for him. What should you call him? Angel? Lord? You had no idea and you were sure that any wrong answer would earn you a smack on your ass. Not that that would be a problem for you, but still. You took a short breath and just went with the most generic title you could think of. “Yes, Sir.”

“Good girl,” Castiel said, sitting up and undoing his belt. He motioned for you to move up to the head of the bed and you complied, shifting up towards the headboard. “Give me your hands.”

You did as you were told. Castiel bound your hands with the belt. He grabbed your ankle and yanked you down so you fell on your back. He lifted your hands above your head. You tried to slow your breathing as you awaited further orders.

Castiel lifted your chin with his hand so that you were at eye level with him. “Move your hands and I’ll stop touching you, understand?”

Excitement and anticipation rolled through you and you answered him breathlessly. “We wouldn’t want that now would we?”

Although Castiel was smiling, his grip on your chin tightened and he cocked an eyebrow.

“Yes, Sir. I understand.” You said. Castiel’s lips hovered over yours. You tried to reach for them but he pulled away. His hand traveled downwards again. He tugged on your panties and slowly slipped them down your legs. Once they were off he moved back up to your head.

“Open,” He ordered, seeming to get a thrill out of your obedience. You opened your mouth and he stuffed the panties in. Pins and needles shot through you and you revelled in the sensation, pushing your hips up against the angel again. Castiel slipped his hands between your thighs and studied your reaction. “Spread you legs for me, little one.”

Once you opened yourself to him that animal hunger returned to his expression. He lifted your dress up and over your head and hands. He kissed your chest, grabbing onto your breasts and giving your nipples a hard pinch. You moaned against him, desperately trying to lean in closer to him. His lips trailed kisses down your chest and abdomen until he reached your folds. “Oh my god, Cas.”

Your words were muffled by the panties but you couldn’t help it. He ran his tongue up your slick cunt and began to suck on your clit. You flinched, almost bringing down your arms but catching yourself. No way in hell did you want him to stop now. He pushed your legs further apart as he pleasured you, eventually slipping a finger into your pussy. He curled it up and and thrust it in and out of you. You moaned desperately against the fabric of your panties. He didn’t hesitate before slipping in another finger, stretching you a little. On and on he went until waves of bliss threatened to betray you. You trembled which clued him in. He lifted his head from between your legs, still pounding his fingers into you.

“I’m sorry, were you about to cum without permission?” He growled. Three fingers now. You fought your orgasm, desperately wanting to please him but also wanting the punishment. Your toes curled as he pushed in a fourth finger and you writhed and squirmed beneath him in desperation. You mumbled against the panties. Castiel removed them, “I didn’t catch that.”

“Please, Cas. Please can I cum?” You almost shouted. His hungry eyes cut into yours like a knife.

“Go on, then,” He offered. You released the pressure holding you there and your orgasm hit you like a train. You cried out in serene pleasure, your body twitching from the sensation. Castiel then removed his pants and tossed them on the ground, crawling up over you. He pressed the tip of his cock against your folds and held himself there. Cas revelled in the moment. For so long he had wanted this, wanted you, and now you lay before him completely at his mercy. He couldn’t bare it anymore and with one swift thrust, he was inside of you.

You let out a guttural moan at his entrance into your body. He started slow, with rough thrusts every few seconds. He pushed into you, going deeper and deeper with each thrust. “Oh, Cas, fuck—”

“Tell me what you want,” Cas growled, leaning over you. He tugged at your hair, pulling your head back so that he could kiss your neck. You felt a new sensation enter the mix. A high vibration hit your clit and you yelped at the contact. It felt like a vibrator, but so much more powerful. You tried to reign in your senses to get a better feel at where Cas’ hands were. He had one on your hip and the other gently grasping your throat. Then what the hell was that vibration. It picked up speed to the point where you were sure you were going to cum.

“Cas, I’m going to cum, I can’t help it,” You whimpered.

“Resist it,” He urged. The vibration seemed to split into two and with another thrust it penetrated your ass. You couldn’t help but cry out at the top of your lungs. What was happening? You were so overwhelmed by pleasure you thought you were going to black out. Castiel thrusted harder and faster into you relentlessly and without mercy.

You were moaning so loud you were surprised that you didn’t wake your sleeping self. You tried resisting the urge to orgasm but to no avail, it was coming and it was going to hit you hard. Castiel’s body twitched as he felt his own orgasm begin to consume him. You weren’t sure how much longer you could last and begged him to let you cum. “P-Please, Cas.”

“Yes, cum for me,” He said breathlessly as your orgasms hit you with a force unlike any other. You cried out desperately and Cas growled into the nape of your neck. He bit down hard on your skin as his cum filled your pussy. He moaned against you and fell next to you. He undid his belt and threw it aside, bringing your wrists to his lips and placing soft kisses there. He then drew you in and wrapped his wings around you to keep you warm.

The soft feathers tickled you. “Cas, what was that vibration?”

He chuckled, “It was my Grace.”

Your breath hitched in your throat as you marvelled at the idea. You both breathed heavily and Cas kissed your forehead gently as you both fell off to sleep.

You both woke up back in your bed in the bunker and your eyes met. Your panties were drenched with cum and his eyes were tinted dark as if the hunger had never left. You rolled over and moved to straddle him, “My turn.”

Castiel let a devilish grin streak across his face before the intensity started all over again.

[shera-dnd]

A Day at a Time - Warmth

This one took a long time to write, but it’s finally here

My mind hasn’t been all here recently, but I’m still glad I managed to get this written down finally

As usual here is the AO3 link and let’s get on with the nonsense

Catra could do it. Her lungs were burning with the cold morning air, but she could do it. She would regret this so much tomorrow, but it would be so worth it. When she finally made it to the lobby of her apartment building, she nearly collapsed on the ground. She felt like she was going to die there, but damn it if she didn’t feel like a badass right now.

“Wow!” Adora exclaimed as she made her way into the building. “You actually ran the whole way back in one go. How are you feeling?”

“Like... “ She had to pause to catch her breath. “Like I’m gonna vomit.”

“Deep breaths,” Adora reminded her. “In through the nose and out through the mouth.”

After a few breaths and a sip of water the awful feeling in her stomach went away.

“So how you feeling now?”

“Like I’m the baddest bitch around.” She answered, with a tired smile.

“That is the spirit!” Adora cheered. “What else? Keep it going!”

“Like I’m the hottest bitch around!” Catra continued, raising both her arms over her head in cheer.

“Woohoo!” Adora nearly jumped in excitement. “Don’t you love that post workout high?” Adora went in for a hug, but Catra stopped her with a death glare.

“I’m too sweaty for that right now”

Adora pouted a little before raising a hand.

“High five?”

Catra chuckled before high fiving the jock.

“Well someone’s happy today!” A familiar voice commented from the stairs.

“Hey, Sparkles.” Catra greeted, turning to see the girl still in her pajamas. “Shouldn’t you be enjoying the last few minutes of sleep before dragging yourself to work?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me.” Glimmer complained. “I just really need to pick up this package before I go.”

“Sparkles?” Adora asked, a bit confused.

“Hi!” She greeted, suddenly awake enough notice the lesbian daydream standing right next to Catra. “I’m Glimmer. Pleasure to meet you!”

“Hi,” Adora replied with a smile that felt like a warm sunrise. “I’m Adora!”

“Oh so this is your workout buddy?” Glimmer asked, shooting Catra an amused look. “Well don’t let me interrupt anything. I’m just here to grab my package.”

Glimmer quickly got her things and waved them goodbye, before making her way back to her apartment. Leaving behind a still smiling Adora.

“So,” Catra tried to get Adora’s attention again. “Post exercise stretches?”

“Yes! Right!” Adora quickly agreed and lead Catra through their normal stretching routine. Though this time she was far less chatty than usual, she eventually spoke again. “Your friend there…”

“Sparkles?” Catra asked, already knowing where this was going. “What about her?” “Is she…” Adora blushed a little as she struggled to form a sentence.

“Is she what?” 

“A friend of Mara?” She finally asked, and Catra couldn’t keep herself from laughing at the old slang. Was Adora really that embarrassed to use the word lesbian?

“Yes, she is the biggest lesbian I know and she makes no effort to hide it.” She answered, after recovering her breath. “Why do you ask?”

“You know, just curious.” The awkward answer earned another chuckle from Catra.

“Right,” Catra remained unconvinced “Maybe if you ever get curious again you could ask her instead of me.”

“She doesn’t really know me. Wouldn’t that be awkward?”

“You really don’t know how to talk to a girl without a cat to help you huh?” Catra teased, getting her daily dose of blushing Adora. “I’ll see what I can do for you.”

“Really?” Adora asked, before giving Catra a big hug. “Thanks!”

“No hugs!”

~~~

Catra picked up Melog and looked into his eyes. A surprisingly difficult task considering how he stretched himself expecting to get scratched and petted. Still Catra wanted to meet eye to eye with the mastermind who orchestrated all this.

“So is this your endgame here?” Catra asked, in mock seriousness. “Get us all together here so you have three people taking care of you instead of just me?”

Melog looked at her confused as to why he wasn't getting any scratches.

“Don’t play dumb, you little bastard!” Catra insisted “What now? What is the next step in your great plan?”

The cat seemed to decide that since he wasn’t getting scratches, that sleeping on her lap was the best next thing. Catra couldn’t help but smile.

“Don’t you fall asleep on me. I’m trying to interrogate you!” Catra complained, but she couldn’t keep the tough act much longer and began petting the little bastard. “You stupid little ball of fur.” She said, with so much love in her voice.

Blaming Melog for all that had happened recently was fun, but she still needed an idea to hang out with both those gay idiots together. Sure they probably would be okay with just hanging out at her apartment, playing with her cat and chilling, but Catra still felt like she had to do something for it to be worth their time.

Meanwhile her cat purred like a motor at the attention he was getting. Catra laughed a little at how easy to please her little baby was. He always had a way to cheer her up… and give her ideas. Picking up her phone she began typing a little message for Adora.

Looking at the time, Catra was also reminded that she had work today and that she should get Melog to move somehow so she could get to it in time. And, more importantly, run into Glimmer on her way there. It took her some time but soon she was free and ready to go to work.

“Hey, Catra.” She heard as soon as she stepped out of the apartment.

“Hey, Sparkles.” She replied, seeing Glimmer walk up to her looking more exhausted than ever. “You okay there?”

“I’m fine. I just really missed those ten extra minutes of sleep.”

“Planning on just going into a coma this weekend then?” Catra joked.

“That does sound nice...” Glimmer replied, clearly just wanting to flop onto her bed and not get up for a while.

“Hey, if I can get in the way of your coma, wanna come over to watch some movies on Saturday?”

“Oh!” She perked up a little, not expecting that offer. “Yeah, sure. What we planning on watching?”

“Mad Max: Fury Road.” Catra announced.

“Do I get to yell ‘witness me’?” She asked, with a little more excitement.

“Duh. Why else would we watch it?” Catra played along. “I’ll message you the time later. I really should get going.”

“Alright. Have fun with the drunk emos!” Glimmer joked.

“I will,” Catra answered, already on her way out. “Also Adora will be watching with us.”

“What!?”

~~~

Catra had just finished setting away some snacks - a very difficult task when your cat is trying to eat things he shouldn’t - when she heard the first knock on the door. Once she opened it, Melog wasted no time jumping into the new visitor’s arms.

“Hey, Adora.”

“Hey, Catra.” She greeted, though her focus was on the little ball of fur in her arms “Hey, little Melog! How are you doing today?”

“He’s been trying to steal our snacks all day,” Catra commented, rolling her eyes at Adora’s overly affectionate tone. “So don’t pamper him too much.” 

“I make no promises.” she said as she made her way in. Adora looked around the mostly plain apartment, clearly holding back a comment.

“The place looks like shit. You can just say it.” Catra wasn’t angry or anything, she knew her apartment wasn’t exactly the best.

“I was gonna say that it looks cozy.” She commented, with such a sweet smile Catra didn’t know if she wanted to kiss her or punch her. “But yeah, the place could use a little something extra.”

“I’m sure it could.” Catra agreed, in the most Catra way possible. She had another snarky comment prepared, but was interrupted by another knock on the door. “Looks like has finally woken up.” she joked as she made her way to the door.

“Hey, Catra.” Glimmer greeted, “Ready to quote half the lines in the movie and thirst over Charlize Theron for the next two hours?”

“Oh definitely.” She looked back at Adora and asked, “Adora, are you ready for all that?”

“I think I can only do one of those things,” She answered, awkwardly. “I never watched this movie before.”

“What?” Catra and Glimmer asked simultaneously.

“I never got around to watching any Mad Max movies!”

“Aww, we’re gonna be your first time!” Glimmer joked, earning a blush from Adora and a laugh from Catra.

“Come in and get comfortable, Sparkles,” Catra invited once she got her laughter under control. “I’ll get the movie up in a second.”

Glimmer took a seat on Catra’s couch and once more Melog decided to greet the new visitor the only way he knew how, by begging for attention.

“I’m happy to see you too, Melog!” She cooed as she played with the little cat.

“You’ve met him before?” Adora asked, curious.

“Yeah, he decided he wanted to take Catra for a walk and ran right into me.” She explained.

“That's how I met Catra too!” Adora seemed so excited to have that in common.

“Really?” Glimmer beamed at the little ball of fur, happily playing with him even more. “Look at you, getting your mommy to make new friends. Aren’t you just the cutest little thing?”

Catra rolled her eyes, but those two were so happy that she couldn’t help but smile. Watching them playing with her cat was also really cute and it made her realize something. She had feelings for those two.

Sure she knew she had a crush on these two idiots for a while now, but having these two together at her place like that filled her chest with warmth, and she wouldn’t mind if every day felt like that.

Still smiling she finished setting everything up and sat down with her two favorite dumbasses.

“Come on, we have a movie to watch.”

[lady-divine-writes]

I Drove All Night (Rated PG13)

After Nope-aggedon and their lunch at the Ritz, instead of staying with Aziraphale, Crowley leaves under the guise of ‘tying up loose ends’. But after hours behind the wheel of his Bentley he realizes he’s not ‘tying up loose ends’, he’s running away.

And he’s going in the wrong direction. (2274 words)

(Written for the anon prompt Cyndi Lauper’s ‘I Drove All Night’. Listen to it while you read this. It sort of broke me XD)

I had to re-post this since the original was a mess XD

“That was a splendid lunch! Absolutely fabulous! I can’t remember the last time we shared such a scrumptious meal!” Aziraphale gushes, basking in the afterglow that comes from thwarting a world-ending supernatural war, helping send Satan himself back to Hell, escaping execution, then topping it off with three slices of cake and two helpings of crepes.

“I’ll admit, I can’t remember myself,” Crowley says, content, but not quite as effervescent as his angel companion.

“It was quite the celebration, wouldn’t you say?”

“That I would.”

“So, what are you in the mood to do now?” Aziraphale asks, turning to Crowley with a wiggle before the demon has thrown his car into park. Aziraphale doesn’t offer any suggestions, but the smile on his face points to the fact that he has some.

Some he’s given a great deal of thought to.

Crowley examines his steering wheel, his instrument panel, his gauges, reads the mileage forward and backward to keep his mind from wondering what those ideas could be, and if they happen to be similar to ones he’s come up with during his own drunken daydreaming.

“I’ve got to go,” he says apologetically. “Tend to some business. Tie up a few loose ends. You know how it is.”

“Oh!” Aziraphale’s bubbly smile falls in confusion. Without sparing a glance, Crowley can tell that wasn’t the answer Aziraphale had been expecting. “O-okay.”

“I imagine you need to, too,” Crowley adds, hoping it’s true.

He knows it isn’t.

Aziraphale takes too long to answer and that confirms Crowley’s suspicions on the matter.

“Y-yes,” Aziraphale says in a stuttered rush, struggling to re-group. “Of … of course. Quite right. I need to … tie up loose ends. As well. How long will that take you, do you think?” His eyes are puppyish, pleading. They sever the last fraying strings that have kept Crowley’s maggoty heart a prisoner in his chest.

‘Oh well. I’ll do better once it’s gone,’ he thinks. ‘Maybe I should slice it out once and for all. Put it in a box. Give it to Aziraphale to lock away in his curio cabinet beside his collection of snuff boxes and his blasted cherub figurines. It’s always belonged to him anyhow …’

“I don’t know,” Crowley replies. “Not too long? Coupl’a years at the most.”

“A couple of … a couple of years?”

“Give or take. Be back before you know it. You won’t even miss me.”

“I … I guess I won’t.” Aziraphale’s eyes drift from Crowley’s face to a random spot on the dash, his whole being sliding further and further away, as if his bookshop behind him is pulling him to it.

Or the Bentley is pushing him out.

But he can’t leave yet, not without proper acknowledgement that this is the end – that everything that’s led up to this moment, everything that he thought meant so much actually meant less than he imagined. Much less. But such is the nature of the beast, right? Angel … demon … together … and in love?

Ridiculous.

It was just a dream. His dream alone.

Besides, the world would probably explode.

“I see,” he says, steeling his shoulders and tipping up his chin. “Yes. A couple of years. Sounds about right. Well then, you’d better get started.”

“Yeah,” Crowley says, surprisingly bothered that he’s taking it so well. “I guess I’d better.”

“I suspect I’ll … I’ll see you around then. Sooner or later.”

“Sooner or later.”

“As they say, don’t be a stranger.” Aziraphale offers Crowley his hand. Crowley looks at it. Shaking hands isn’t something they normally do, so Aziraphale initiating this definitely stands out as odd. Crowley had thought to leave him with a hug but perhaps this is better in the long run.

Crowley takes the offered hand and shakes it. Aziraphale gasps when they touch – a sudden and sharp mew. When they let go, he watches Crowley’s hand retreat till it’s resting on the steering wheel again.

If Aziraphale had been expecting something else, he doesn’t mention it.

“Good-bye, Crowley,” he says softly, opening the passenger door, exiting the vehicle, and closing it behind him before Crowley has the chance to say, “See ya.”

***

Crowley mulls over his and Aziraphale’s parting as he drives down the motorway on his way to Edinburgh. Hours he spends recounting every word, the tone of Aziraphale’s voice, the color in his cheeks - that rosy glow that fills the apples when he’s excited.

How quickly those roses and apples withered when Crowley said he needed to go.

The look on Aziraphale’s face, in his eyes, is one Crowley will remember for as long as he exists. It’s the same look he wore at the bandstand when Crowley stormed away, and again outside the bookshop when he said he was leaving Earth and wouldn’t think of him.

Fuck!

Bloody fuck!

What the fuck is he doing?

Why did he leave!?

Where did he really need to be?

Nowhere, and that’s the point.

He knows he isn’t exactly the bravest demon in Hell, but he didn’t see himself as disloyal.

Dammit if he isn’t proving himself wrong left and right!

He isn’t tending to business.

He’s running away.

Always running.

He’d offered to run and take Aziraphale with him, threatened to run and leave him behind, and now here he is, running under the guise of wrapping up loose ends. What loose ends? Every loose end he has should be scared shitless of him at this point! They’d all have heard by now, how he escaped a bath of Holy Water and lived to tell the tale. If he had any honest to goodness loose ends to tie up, wouldn’t it be best to do it with an angel by his side? The one angel on Earth every demon believes is impervious to Hellfire?

Crowley doesn’t even need to hide! He has nothing left to do for the moment but settle down somewhere and start enjoying himself until Heaven and Hell decide to start another row.

So why isn’t he doing that?

When he thinks about it, really thinks about it, there’s only one place he wants to spend his time, only one being he wants to spend that time with.

And he’s driving in the opposite direction.

“Shit shit shit shit shit!”

He doesn’t pull over. Doesn’t exit the motorway. He wrenches the Bentley’s steering wheel to turn his car around. The tires squeal at the abrupt change in direction, the vehicle spinning so quickly it almost flips on its side. Horns wail. Headlights from oncoming cars fly past, swerving out of his way to avoid a head on collision.

“Yeah, yeah, die mad about it,” he mumbles, throwing his car into gear. He doesn’t wait until he’s fully installed in a lane. As soon as he’s facing the way he needs to go, he drops his foot on the gas and floors it.

***

Knock-knock-knock.

“Aziraphale!”

Knock-knock-knock.

“Aziraphale!”

It’s well past two in the morning when Crowley ends up on Aziraphale’s doorstep, slamming his knuckles against the wood and praying Aziraphale is there. The angel wouldn’t answer his calls. Every light in the place is off. Even the lantern he reads by, its golden glow usually visible through the pulled blinds, appears absent. Aziraphale doesn’t need a lamp to read by, of course. He simply prefers the ambiance of it. The novelty.

Knock-knock-knock.

“Aziraphale! Are you in?”

Knock-knock-knock.

“Aziraphale? Why are your lights off? Are you asleep?”

Aziraphale doesn’t open the door, but he tuts from the opposite side. “Really, Crowley? Do you know me at all?”

“Aziraphale, please! Open the door!”

A moment of deliberation, than a put upon sigh. “Why should I?”

“Because I want to talk to you.”

“You’re talking to me now.”

“Ngk! You ever-loving pain in the … yes, but I want to see you!”

“I suppose you won’t go away till you do. Probably miracle straight through the door if I don’t let you.” More deliberation and another sigh. “Fine. Alright.” Crowley hears Aziraphale undo the bolts on the door one at a time. A simple snap would make short work of them, and Crowley considers it, but he can’t force Aziraphale to hear him out, no matter how much he wants him to. Aziraphale opens the door a sliver and peeks out, tired eyes assessing him like a gentleman confronted by a long lost relative, thrice removed, begging for money. “Well … what is it?” he grumbles. “Why are you here?”

“Aziraphale …” Crowley throws his hands open and sighs “… I’m here because I’m an idiot.”

Aziraphale’s eyes roll, but the door opens a hair. “I know that, but that doesn’t explain why you’ve come back. Don’t you have business to attend to? What about your loose ends?”

“There are no loose ends. None that matter. There’s just you.”

The door opens wider and this time, Aziraphale takes a step forward. “Then why did you leave?”

“I---I don’t know.” Crowley’s tongue trips, his excuse skids. No. He’s not going to start this on a lie. “That’s … that’s not true. But the reasons don’t matter. I’m back and I … I really wish …”

“Wish what?” Another step and now Aziraphale is outside.

“I wish you’d kiss me.”

Aziraphale’s eyebrows shoot up. “You want me to kiss you?”

“Yes. Please,” Crowley says, a nod separating each word. “Kiss me?”

Aziraphale’s head shakes, his mouth starting to work soundlessly. “I don’t … I don’t know …”

Crowley puts a hand to Aziraphale’s cheek. His shaking stops. A pinkish burn takes its place. “Aziraphale …” Crowley reaches up with his free hand and removes his sunglasses. Aziraphale’s startled eyes dart about, subconsciously checking to see that no one is watching. And no one is. They’re in Soho, for crying out loud! Not a soul is paying any attention to them. But Aziraphale’s need to ensure Crowley’s safety, to keep him protected, reaches into the heart of him and pulls out the words he should have said yesterday afternoon when he dropped Aziraphale off and, like an imbecile, drove away. “I love you, Aziraphale. I love you and I … I need you to kiss me.”

There’s the smallest, reflexive nod of Aziraphale’s head. It would have been missed by someone else, someone not staring right into the angel’s eyes with expectation and hope. But Crowley was staring with both those things, so he saw. He nods back, and when he does, Aziraphale pounces, closing the gap between them – one of not just a few inches but thousands of years. He closes a gap of repressed feelings and unexpressed emotions, opens a door for unrealized daydreams, and sweeps away the dust off countless what ifs. There are whole chapters of their lives drafted but unedited – piled up on the sofa in Aziraphale’s back room, spread out over the passenger seat of Crowley’s Bentley, wedged between bottles of Jack Daniels and Merlot in both their liquor cabinets. Printed between the pages of Aziraphale’s open Bible and collected in a dried ring deep inside an empty tartan-print Thermos that once contained Holy Water. On the SD card in Crowley’s phone and a file on Aziraphale’s computer. Imprinted as footsteps throughout time, all over the world. While Aziraphale kisses Crowley and Crowley kisses him back, those pages are summoned. They gather in the gloam, making their way towards the angel and demon kissing at Aziraphale’s door.

“So, what are you in the mood to do now?” Aziraphale asks, realizing that with the admission of Crowley’s lie, the original question has been left newly unanswered.

“I want to stay with you, if you don’t mind. We … we don’t have to do anything. Not a thing if you don’t want to.”

“Oh. That’s a shame,” Aziraphale says with that little smile he gets when he’s just thought up a particularly clever joke. And even though that joke may very well be at Crowley’s expense, Crowley loves that smile.

He loves that he knows this about Aziraphale – something no one else on Heaven or Earth probably does.

“And why’s that?” Crowley asks.

“Because I was quite hoping you’d make love to me.”

Crowley blorts out a chuckle so unexpected, it stings his nose. If there’s one thing Aziraphale could say that would get a reaction out of him at that tense moment, it was that. Bravo, Aziraphale! But after a few awkward seconds of silence and a prolonged glare, it registers.

It’s not a joke.

That’s not a joke.

“Are you … are you serious?”

“I was.” Aziraphale clears his throat, his eyes falling to his clasped hands, visibly hurt by Crowley’s reaction; mildly broken by this whole ordeal. “I didn’t realize how ridiculous you thought …”

Crowley leans over, bends to the level of Aziraphale’s gaze and looks into his eyes. “Yes.”

Aziraphale’s brow pinches. “Yes what?”

“Yes, Aziraphale,” Crowley repeats, running the pad of his thumb lightly over the angel’s lower lip. “Yes.”

“But you …”

“Yes …”

“I thought …”

“Yes …”

Aziraphale stops rambling as Crowley inches closer. “Yes?”

Crowley nods.

“Yes.”

Their mouths meet. Aziraphale wobbles a step. Crowley catches him.

“Yes,” he mumbles between kisses, leading Aziraphale slowly backwards.

“Yes,” he says, sliding one hand underneath Aziraphale’s waistcoat to feel the angel’s warmth, his shuddering breaths.

“Are you … are you sure?” Aziraphale asks one last time, closing his eyes against days’ worth of tears he has no power to stop.

Crowley smiles and kisses them away.

“Yes,” he whispers, ushering Aziraphale inside his shop, snapping his fingers to shut and lock the door behind him.