#it was cute but also the size of a cat so I got spooked

[eatyourdamnpears]

I forgot to lock up my coop tonight so there I was, running out to my backyard at 11:30 at night to make sure everyone was alive. everyone was fine, but there was an opossum in the run that I had to wake my mom up to help me chase out. I’m so fucking lucky a fox or something didn’t come around and kill all the birds

[altbite]

König Headcanons

Personal headcanons I have for this teddy bear

Some of it is Konig x GN!Reader 

(also a lot of it is inspired by what i've seen plus my own experiences with anxiety) (a lot of this is just ideas i love)

____

The first time you meet him, he is like a statue. Doesn’t really move and when he does, he is surprisingly quite despite his size.

Doesn’t talk much either. At first you thought he was kinda like Ghost: tall, quiet, bit of a dick. Kind of like a Ghost knockoff but taller.

You glanced over at him A LOT tho. When he came into the room, you were the first to set your eyes on him and the last to stop staring. He noticed occasionally because he would glance at you, and like two awkward birds with anxiety, you both looked away at the same time, pretending you didn't see the other. This happened a lot

Eventually, you started giving him a passing smile if he walked into a room or walked by you. For a while, you didn’t know if he even acknowledge you but then he started nodding at you when you smiled at him.

The first time you heard him speak, his voice surprised you. It was a simple “Yes sir” to Price.

You were a flirt in the task force with almost everyone except Price. He was too much like a dad to you. Konig often saw you openly flirt with everyone, and found it..interesting, because to him and towards him you were a shy person.

You were slightly intimidated to flirt with him, because you haven't even spoken to him yet. But you'd be lying if you weren’t dying to flirt with him.

When you did speak for the first time, it was on a mission and you thanked him when he covered your ass. You don’t know if he said anything in return but you’d make note to bring it up again.

Back at base, you saw Konig in the kitchen making coffee. You walked over and started small talk, because you so desperately can’t hold a conversation with a stranger and even the small talk felt weird. You thanked him again and he actually spoke to you. 

“You know, for a big guy, you aren’t that scary”, you said and walked off, leaving him somewhat speechless.

After that, you had no issues speaking to him and he eventually reciprocated it.

One day, you were hanging out with the other guys in the kitchen, and lowkey flirting with Soap, Konig silently walked by and you made a point to comment. “See Konig here, is just a oversized teddy bear”, to which the guys chuckled at and Konig felt a little flustered. 

Your nickname for him was now going to be “Bear” but you made sure no one else would use it because it was your nickname for him and only yours. Konig never commented on the use of it but every time you called him that, he would blush a little (not that you could really tell)

You are a fan of horror movies and tend to watch them in your down time, and one night you managed to convince Konig to join you for one, even tho he stated he is scared of horror movies. You told him you would protect him from any monsters and gave him a extra extra large blanket so he could wrap himself in safety. 

He did not enjoy the horror and you laughed at him for it. You let him put on a movie of his choice after so he could get the spooks out of his body. he always choose a rom com, which you weren't a fan of. Doesn’t mean you both didn’t cry at the ending.

You two established movie nights, usually after missions and rest days.

If there was candy/sweets involved, you always made sure he got the last piece. If you were leaving the room or diverting your attention to someone else, you would hand him a treat and say nothing. He always appreciated them.

At first when you flirted with him, he was taken a back. People didn’t often talk to him as much or he with them, so flirting definitely caught him off guard. But once he got used to it, he would flirt back. He would act so smug when you got flustered and turned away from him, starting a conversation with the closest person or leaving the room.

He is a cat person. Sure dogs are cute but he would rather have a cat around any day. Preferably multiple cats. If you are also a cat person, the two of you would cry over cats. Every cat you saw on the street you would be like “kitty!!” and try to pet them. 

You two together are so chaotic. You strive on impulsive thoughts and often rope Konig in, and vice versa. Price just sighs every time he hears your name together. The sentence “Guess what y/n and Konig did today?” and he knew.

You are both a gamer and board/card gamer. Konig was neither really. You taught him how to play many games using a deck of cards. The others joined in sometimes and it was Konig’s real bonding with the team outside of missions.

His favourite game is Go Fish.

The team started to interact with him more after that game session.

He curses at you in German. Sometimes it scares you, sometimes you laugh your ass off. It depends on the situation.

If you are a sniper, you often nag him about it, especially if you are shorter than him. He doesn’t mind but he does find it annoying sometimes. On missions, you don’t get to team up because you end up fields away, looking through the scope of your rifle.

On multiple occasions, you have stared at his ass. Soap and Gaz bully you for it but they also join in because that man is caked. He is also packing but you never let him catch you staring there.

If you are covering him on missions from afar, you will zoom onto his ass and probably comment on it to him thru comms.

He mumbles curse words and tells you to pay attention. So does Price.

His love language would be physical touch. 

Platonically (+ applies romantically as well): 

he loves having his arm on your head or shoulders if you are shorter. You make a nice arm rest. You always cross your arms if he does it. Its a killer combo pose.

He enjoys fist bumps and high fives.

Not much of a hugger in friendships.

Slaps your back, either as a good job or laughing too hard and he needs to hit something.

Romantically:

He enjoys cuddles. a lot. He loves to little spoon and lay on top of you. At first he wasn’t comfortable, afraid he might crush you under his weight but you convinced him he wouldn’t.

Not a PDA guy but will hold pinkies.

He loves to give back hugs and nuzzle into you. Kinda just hangs there while you let him and move on with what you were doing.

He LOVES when you just face plant into his chest and wrap your arms around him. You basically are suffocating yourself in his chest and he eventually tries to push you away for you to breathe.

The second option is when you face plant into his chest and grab his pecs and just squish them like stress balls. Will get flustered the first time you do it and when you do it if someone is around.

Since my man is caked, you will touch his ass when you can. You will also slap it any chance you get. He does the same thing to you. He loves your ass in many ways

____

Ah tysm for reading!! I wanted to make a fic for this man but honestly headcanons were easier. I will more than likely make a part two but if you want to see anything added to this, let me know! I will happily obliged. Or if you want something specific send me an ask <3

[bluepoodle7]

#Etsy #EtsyHandmadePlush #HandmadePlush #JohnDoeGame #JohnDoeCatFormHeartEyedVersionPlush #MonsterPlush #Plushies #PlushPals

This is a Etsy Handmade John Doe Cat Plush and this plush is pretty cute while also super soft.

This plushie was bigger than I thought for a handmade plush that isn't crotchet.

It's pretty neat owning fan art of someone else's oc that was in another style and I hope Mortisfox can someday make a plush of John Doe someday since the closet was the mini body pillow keychains of the bigger body pillow of Doe.

But this plush had a tiny corner where the stitches was showing and strings loose but I don't mind that since some plushies I collect do that.

This plush feels and looks well made.

This plush also is a lint magnet but I don't mind that but it is easy to clean.

The box wrapping paper was pretty and shiny.

This plush is 13 inches from the top of the ears to the tail and 8 inches from the top of the head to the leg.

I guess the heart eyed ones don't get the heart paw print designs on his feet.

I guess that is the design difference of both cat doe plushies and you get stickers of cat Doe which are pretty cute.

The art style this artist has is really neat and I wish I could make plushies.

I put my John Doe Cat Form Heart Eyed Plush in the Target Hyde And Eek! Pet Royalty Cape.

Halloween Royalty Dog Cape - Hyde & Eek! Boutique™ : Target

I just wanted to see if this plush can wear the outfit and it can wear it but it squeezes the middle of the plush.

I might get the medium size cape later to see if that works.

I wanted to check if this plush can wear the toy glasses.

The toy glasses are tiny on the plush so this plush can't wear them.

The plush can wear the Hyde & Eek! Moon Witch Cat Hat.

Halloween Moon Witch Hat Cat Costume - Black - Hyde & Eek! Boutique™ : Target

I also took a picture with this cat Doe plush with the Gummy Fangs Gummy Candy.

Halloween Raspberry Flavored Gummy Fangs - 8.5oz - Favorite Day™ : Target

I will review these later.

My First Thoughts

---------------------

I remember first seeing John Doe on Manly's let's play and I did see John Doe as spooky at first then I slowly broke this character down as lonely and using being spooky to fronting.

I didn't have a Twitter at the time but I did look from the outside when you could then found info on Doe saying this character was lonely.

My guess was correct but the character expresses it in their monster way.

But that ending 7 pose got me to love Doe but I'm into monster characters anyways since once they talk their just people with hopes and dreams with passions.

Plus I like it with Doe's eyes get all big like a cat chasing something and when Doe did those faces I would be a little spooked but then just shrug it off or worry John Doe's face would freeze up.

John Doe with a knife still spooks me though it's real life horror.

-------------------------------

A blog post I made for some of the merch I found interesting for John Doe but most is on Etsy and are keychains or stickers.

Or just artworks from artists but the plushies are more on my radar.

Now I just need John Doe's fake human form next.

A blog about obscurity stuff, plushies and food. on Tumblr - #Etsy Handmade Plush

---------------------------------------------------------------

The artist who made the plush and where you can find it.

asinglepetal on Tumblr

Handmade John Doe Cat Plushie - Etsy

I'm keeping this plush and he's going to be a good study buddy.

[bosspigeon]

How are Pyre, Noddy, and Vvorn around animals? Are they animal lovers, or do they prefer to keep their distance? Are there any exceptions to the rule?

Bonus question: What animal do you think best represents each of them?

Pyre is a big man, but he's also very calm and level, so even if animals are spooked by his size at first, he's surprisingly good at calming them down if need be. He likes them just fine, doesn't tend to seek them out unless he has to, but he's very much the sort of man to wind up with a "Dad and the pet he didn't want" sort of relationship lmao. I imagine a cat that comes to like/trust him would be eager to climb up onto his shoulder and be Very Tall.

I feel like he's got the bearing of a solitary sort of wildcat. A panther, maybe? Big and powerful, but terrifyingly quiet when he needs to be.

Noddy is a manic little freak so i think he makes most critters pretty nervous? he's fast and loud and twitchy, and he tends to show a lot of teeth, so he tends to spook animals even if he doesn't mean to. unfortunately, he usually means to... i think he likes them more than they tend to like him, and if he manages to find one that's not scared of him? Best Friend. he's had that owlbear cub for a day and a half, but if anything happened to it he'd kill everyone on the Sword Coast and then himself.

Definitely liken him to like... some sort of mustelid. Like a ferret. Long, quick, and tends to lead with his teeth.

Vvornth is a big, friendly guy, but he's Huge And Loud. Got a stage voice. I think he likes animals, but he can be a little too enthusiastic. Not very bright, either. Can absolutely see him trying to make friends and scaring them off completely by mistake. Similar vein to Noddy, but less intentionally intimidating! He's also a bit scared to touch them if they're smaller. Sometimes he doesn't quite know his own strength, and i think it would break his heart to to hurt a cute lil critter by mistake. He's caused enough pain.

I'm thinking like a big mastiff of some sort. Like a cane corso. Big and friendly, maybe a little drooly, and ferociously loyal once you've earned it and would tear apart anything that would threaten you <3

[noname-friend]

NCT Hybrid Au?

I dunno just felt like sharing what animals i think each member would be lol 

Taeyong: (Grey) Wolf

-a pack animal, feels most safe surrounded by others

-playful yet protective

-probably the best at maintaining animalistic behaviors

Taeil: Koala 

-loves a good snuggle 

-can’t find him? Then he’s taking a nice nap in a tree probably

-doesn’t play much, usually too tired

-earned the nickname “old bear” because of that lol 

Johnny: (White) Bengal Tiger

-how beautiful is he

-always turning heads

-rather large in both human and tiger form

-just kitty that likes some pets though

-give him a nice spot in the sun and he’s content

-does like a good jog or game as well

Yuta: (Ussuri) Bear

-Absolutely intimating upon first meetings

-even when he smiles, sometimes those large canines scare people

-really sweet and fun!

-truly a healing lad

-loves to give some bear hugs

Kun: Lion

-Another natural pack/pride animal

-enjoys leading

-always looks his best

-do not touch the mane 

-chooses to watch rather than join

Doyoung: (Amur) Leopard or (New Zealand) Rabbit

-can’t decide to be basic or basic lmao

-He can be feisty like a rabbit

-but also seems to like to be alone like leopards

-either way he packs a punch (kick or bite lol)

-fast runner and good hider

-if he doesn’t want to be found you won’t find hiim

Ten: Kangaroo Mouse- 

-I know I know, weird choice lol

-but these little lads are good runners and jumpers

-fast and small, like ten-

-sometimes sings in the middle of the night

-can’t help it, just an animal behavior 

-no pets

Jaehyun: (Arctic) Wolf

-piercing eyes like no ones business

-not so much a leader as a fighter

-strong, loves to spar with Johnny

-happy growls 

-likes pup/cubs/babies in general

-like his tail will wag every time 

Winwin: Red Panda

-intimidation: -10

-pretty shy

-his tail is long than his body, which he’ll wrap himself in

-adored by everyone in the house

-might hide behind Jaehyun or Kun 

Jungwoo: (Border Collie) Dog

-cuddles cuddles cuddles

-be his friend pls <3

-people pleaser

-loves to be a companion even if it’s just vibing on the couch

-absolutely loves pets and praise

Lucas: Jaguar 

-beautiful and illusive

-be weary- he’s a pouncer

-despite being a big cat, likes to lay on laps so he might crush you

-it’s ok the big smile he gives you is worth it

-loves to play with Jungwoo in the yardd 

-might play a little too rough with the smaller hybrids

Mark: Cheetah 

-I couldn’t help myself

-easy to get to purr (fun fact: cheetahs purr :D)

-genuinely thought Johnny was just an albino cheetah so he wanted to get close to him

-eventually realized he was not but they still got close!

-often wrestles with Lucas for fun 

Xiaojun: 

-come back to 

-head empty

Hendery: (Bengal) Cat 

-This guy really stumped everyone when he joined the house

-thought he was a jaguar cub, Lucas wasn’t too happy about that

-it’s ok he’s a domestic house-cat so no issue

-Very pretty though, in both forms he’ll turn heads

-very playful but also kinda shy

-usually sticks to others he’s comfortable with

Renjun: (Fennec) Fox

-So soft and small and cute

-Not so cuddly

-Likes to steal socks just to be a nuisance 

-very slippery as in it’s hard to catch him without just full on tackling him

-even then he might manage to get away

-has a cute little butterfly-like marking on his fox form nose

Jeno: (Samoyed) Dog

-Full of energy and smiles

-Yet also strangely chill

-good vibes all around

-part of the workout squad of hybrids

-also probably the smallest in that group, he keeps up though

Haechan: Puduu

-How can I not make him a Pudu? It suits him so well-

-If not a Pudu, a Grizzly Bear

-Him and Yuta would have some good ol bear matches in that case

- Either way, he loves berries, wild berries are just so sweet and good

-Kinda knows which berries are poisonous- sometimes

Jaemin: Caracal

-Caracal are one of those big cats that get along greet with doggos 

-would you happen to know his best friend is Jeno the doge?

-in his human form, he seems like he’d be a rather big cat

-in his caracal form, he’s rather small (smaller than cheetahs)

-chilled and love to daydream

Yangyang: Ram

-ah be careful, he likes to headbutt

-no one else has the head strength or durability to headbutt him back 

-usually a game of runaway from yangyang then 

-sometimes the cats will give him a nice headbutt+nuzzle which is much gentler but he appreciates it anyways

-Maybe when Sungchan’s horns grow in he’ll want to 

Shotaro: Bobcat 

-would never imagine he was a predator

-nevermind a big cat and not a little domestic cat

-well he’s not a big big cat but still

-good climber

-does play like a house cat often though

-he likes the little sting toys lol

Sungchan: ( Caribou?) Deer 

-big beautiful eyes like galaxies

-does get seasonal horns, he’s not full grown so they’re not full size nor hardness yet

-spooked rather easily

-though he’s pretty huge, the predators can overwhelm him often

-no fault of theirs, just an animal behavior

Chenle: Panda

-snacks all day

-usually lounging with Taeil 

-comfy life 

-most expensive - in sense of food

-usually inside playing video games though

Jisung: Hamster

-absolutely stuffs his cheeks when eating

-just a habit he can’t break

-him and Doyoung(bunny) share snacks all the time

-thinks it’s fun to scare the members 

-but also gets scared easily

-because prey intsincts

-burrows sometimes, usually clothes and blankets usually

Yoo i figured out how to fit them all on 1 post! Nice! These are fun to do lol Let me know some suggestions for things I should write!

[ramblesanddragons]

Under The Moonlight

(For @lemonfodrizzleart based on her wonderful Mystery Farm AU mixed with Monster Falls. I really like Jackie as an OC and I hope I did her justice. A little treat for the spooky season. Normally I believe Gargrunk Stan can’t fly but maybe in this dimension he can!) 

Words: 1967

Warnings: None! Just some fluff with a little bit of feels.

As the sun set low in the October sky Stan was trying his best to put on something nice. The wings were making it a little difficult. Maybe it would be easier to go shirtless than mess up a good flannel, but he wanted to look nice. Jackie was looking forward to this, he wasn’t going to let her down.  

With a little fashion help from Kelvin, Stan was able to get his wings through some neatly cut holes. His tail wiggled into the hole in his jeans after a few tries. Shoes were a no go but at least his hat could rest in-between the horns on his head.  

Getting ready for a date had never been so frustrating.  

It was worth it though when he saw the smile on Jackie’s face. She was floating down the stairs, well more like fluttering. Even with all the draw backs of being a monster Jackie was enjoying being able to fly. The past few days she’d practically flown all over the farm.

Her dress was an off the shoulder affair in a deep black. A bit too fancy for a moonrise picnic but it was probably easier to deal with than anything else because of her own wings. He thin tail poked out of the bottom of the dress. Stan didn’t really care if it was too fancy. She looked incredible.  

“Ready?” She asked.  

Stan motioned to the blanket and basket in his hands and Jackie looped her arm around his stony one. Ford looked up from his notes. He was currently measuring the size of Kevin’s ears. It was only due to the golden fur covering his face that his twin wasn’t blushing up a storm being that close to his crush.  

“You two be careful. I’m not sure how well any of the town folk would react to seeing you.”  

“Look I’ve been planning this date for a week, Ford. No little monster curse is going ta stop us. You shouldn’t let it stop you either.”  

Ford gave Stan a look that said, “Shut the hell up!” while Kelvin was distracted with the bone left over from his steak. Out of all of them he was rolling with this monster thing the best and seemed to embrace his wolfish side. Ford was indulging in riddles more but most of his focus was trying to find a cure. His twin needed to take a break before he burnt himself out. The occasional accidentally catnap wasn’t enough.  

Stan could bother Ford to relax later. For now, he’d let him study Kelvin in peace. Maybe it would get him to finally ask him out. The official couple squeezed out the door with a wave and began to walk out into the orchard.  

If this curse wasn’t lifted by next week, the fall apple festival they held each year would be turning into a costume festival as well. Sure, folks around town were used to the weird but even they had their limits. That was something for next week Stan to worry about. Right now Stan wanted to put all his attention on Jackie.  

Jackie, who was also barefoot, would hop every few feet trying to catch a breeze. When she did, she’d flutter around the tops of the trees for a bit and return with a handful of apples.  

“Honey, tonight’s ‘posed to be about relaxing.”  

“Oh, I know. It’s just annoying to do it in the daytime. Sun hurts my eyes,” she explained. The picked apples were placed in bags and left by the trees. They could pick them up on the walk back.  

“At least you can go out in the sun,” Stan grumbled.  

Jackie gave him a sympathetic peck on the cheek and his grumbling morphed into a happy purring noise.  

“It’s so cute when you do that.”

“Yeah, yeah just don’t tell Ford.”  

She laughed and fluttered around the trees some more before they reached their picnic spot. The hill at the end of the orchard was silhouetted by the harvest moon. Maybe he needed to take Jackie on night dates more often. It was beautiful.  

The two of them settled their blanket down and began to eat. Stan wasn’t as good of a cook as Jackie, but he had made the fanciest sandwiches he could with homemade sides. Every item had a somewhat ridiculous amount of meat in it to satisfy his new carnivore diet, but Jackie didn’t mind.  

The two of them ate and talked and laughed. Stan offered her a blanket when the wind blew but Jackie declined.  

“Apparently demons don’t get cold. It’s nice.”  

“You know you might look like a demon, but I think of you as an angel baby.” Stan said with a smile. The smile faltered as Jackie laughed.

“How long have you been wanting to use that one? Very smooth lover boy,” she teased.  

“Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I love you no matter what you look like! Yeesh. I try to be sweet.” He rolled his eyes playfully before remembering that no one could tell when he was rolling his eyes anymore. His eyes were currently glowing orange orbs.  

Jackie’s eyes had a reddish cat in the dark like gleam to them. They were staring deeply at him. “I appreciate. At first, I was a bit weirded out by being turned into a succubus of all things, but you haven’t made me feel weird or different. I appreciate it.”  

“Of course. You’re amazing no matter what you look like.” Stan wrapped a stony arm around Jackie, and they sat and watched the stars for a few minutes.  

“Hey. I just got a great idea. We should take advantage of this who demon and gargoyle thing while we can,” Jackie said playfully.  

Stan gulped. “Well, I haven’t really pushed any ideas since I didn’t want you thinking that you being a succubus would effect anything. I love you for more than that and-”

“Let’s go flying!”  

“That...that is not what I thought you meant.”

“Oh, that can happen later. I know you’ve had a hard time keeping your hands off me.” Jackie winked and hopped-up leaving Stan slack jawed in the dirt. She laughed and stretched her wings wide.  

“I think we could get some good air from here but maybe we should head up on the cliffs.”

“I don’t think I can fly. Too heavy,” Stan said.  

“I bet you can. If your furball and feathers of a twin can, so can you. Although just in case we probably shouldn’t start with the cliffs. Let's try from here.  

The hill wasn’t high enough to set off Stan’s heights fear, but it was one of the best places to sled on the farm. With the right wind it could be enough for a decent take off as Jackie was proving. She ran a few feet and stretched her wings, diving down to catch speed then turning up. She whooped happily as she climbed higher and higher. It almost looked like she could touch the large moon.

“Come on baby you can do it!” She shouted from the sky.  

Stan gulped. He took a deep breath and went down the hill at a run. He jumped like he saw Jackie do but then tumbled head over tail down the rest of the hill. As he finally rolled to a stop Jackie landed beside him.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah. Hard head remember.” For emphasis Stan tapped his head and it made stony thumping noise.  

“How about I do it with you? That might help.”  

“Jackie I... there’s something I haven’t told you.” Stan frowned, he hated admitting it. “I’m afraid of heights.”

Jackie tilted her head in confusion and then something clicked. “That’s why you get Ford to do anything that involves a ladder! That’s why you like to use the apple picking tool instead of climbing!”  

“Yeah. Pretty pathetic huh.”

“Of course not! Being afraid of heights makes sense! It’s not like humans can fly...normally that is. I just can’t believe we’ve been together this whole time and I didn’t realize it.”

“I did my best to try and hide it.”  

Jackie petted his head causing him to purr again. Her claw like nails made a scratching noise against his stone skin. “Don’t be afraid to tell me you’re afraid Stan. I know you got it in your head you’re supposed to be this tough, sturdy guy-”

“What gave you that idea?” Stan asked in faux offense. Jackie shot him a look and gestured to his gargoyle body. He chuckled and let Jackie finish her thought.

“What I was trying to say is that it’s okay to be afraid and all those other human things. You don’t have to put on an act for me.”  

Stan’s smile faltered and he took Jackie’s hand in his. “...I know.” Logically he knew that but there were times he could still hear his pa’s voice in his head telling him to be a man. Men weren’t afraid of things. Men didn’t have feelings. Men were tough as stone. That wasn’t the kind of man he was though, deep down, despite his current appearance. Sure, he was tough, but he felt all these other feelings too and he didn’t want to deny them. It was just hard sometimes. He was thankful to whatever above that Jackie was patient with him about it.  

They sat at the bottom of the hill until Stan’s head finished spinning. Then he hauled himself up.

“Let’s try again.”

“Stan, you got nothing to prove.”

“I know that but when am I ever going to have a chance like this again. With luck these wings are gone within the week.”

He trudged back up the hill and watched how Jackie took off running and caught the fall breeze in her wings. She swooped up and flapped her wings hard to get higher and higher. Waiting until the wind picked up again Stan charged down the hill on all fours. As dumb as he felt it worked and he was able to feel a lift on his body. He beat his wings as hard as he could and the ground under him disappeared. The sudden disappearance of the ground spooked him, and he stopped flapping. His stone body went tumbling again.

“Stan!”

“I’m okay. I almost got this. Stay there!”

Determined he tried one more time. This time the wind was with him as a strong gust rolled across the orchard sending leaves and some apples flying. He flapped with all his might and didn’t panic this time when he took flight. His body was heavy. He could feel the strain in his back from the effort, but it was worth it to see Jackie’s delighted face.  

“How are you doing?” She lowered herself down a few feet to meet him where he was steady.  

“Alright if I don’t look down or think about being 20 feet in the air.”  

“Come on! Just keep your eyes on me.” She took Stan’s hand and together they started to soar through the starlit sky around the farm. As terrifying as it was it was also beautiful. The two of them danced in the sky for as long as Stan’s wings could hold him.  

Landing was tricky but when they made it back to their picnic spot Stan managed to stay on both feet despite tripping. He was even able to catch Jackie in his hands as she landed.  

“That was amazing,” she said breathlessly.

“You’re amazing,” Stan responded.  

“You might not agree with that after this. Tag you’re it!” She yelled pushing him slightly. She took off into the air again.  

“Hey now hold on!” Stan laughed and shouted after her, taking off into the sky again.  

[factual-fantasy]

Gots some asks for ya’ll

If you really want to show me that you love and admire my art, you’re right, fanart is most certainly not the way to do it.

The way to do it is to comment on posts of mine that you like. Even if its just a “❤” or something like “my heART-” or “Wow! This looks great!”, you know?

I don’t like fanart, and if a post gets too many reblogs it kind’a spooks me, so just a little comment of basically any kind would be just fine. Its actually what I look forward to the most when posting art. :}

Hmm.. interesting question. Lets hope these ramblings I typed out actually answer your question lol.

I feel like something the crew all kind’a have in common is they most likely don’t seek out comfort from others when they are upset. They all most likely hide away in their rooms to silently cry things out on their own in peace.

Especially the Captain for example. I feel like out of everyone he hides his sadness the most, not wanting his team to see him in such a way and not wanting them to feel the need to comfort him. I feel like when he is sad he kind of retreats to his room to be alone for a bit. If the Captain is sad but has to be around the crew though? Maybe he just looks tired and is a bit slower than usual. His sadness can often times be mistaken for him just being tired. He probably prefers it that way honestly.

I feel like when Kwazii is upset he clams up and becomes more reserved. Usually he’s the talkative type right? Maybe the other crewmembers usually notice somethings wrong when he starts answering questions with just yes’s and nos. If someone takes him aside and tries to talk to him, maybe he’ll brush it off and say he’s alright. But if the Captain asks maybe he’ll feel more inclined to tell him what’s up. Maybe he’ll race around in the Gup-B as a pick me up when he’s down as well?

It could be a lot more obvious when Peso is sad. Maybe he gets really droopy and sulks around. I bet everyone notices and he most likely is less driven to keep it a secret. He’s most likely more open to talking about why he’s sad and more open to talking to others who are.

I feel like Dashi might like to have some alone time when she’s sad. She probably works slower and not as good when she’s upset, so she probably takes the time to get herself sorted out in private so she can keep working. She could also go to Tweak for a girl talk of needed.

Tweak could be someone who finds comfort in her work, so usually just buries her nose in blueprints and keeps to herself. When she’s sad maybe it shows on her face and in her body language. She could appear to be working just fine, but her drooped ears, tired expression and slower pace could let others know that she’s having a rough day.

Shellington could be like Tweak in that he just buries himself in his study's when he’s sad to try and get distracted or feel better. Maybe when he’s sad he’s not very good at hiding it. Maybe he’s visibly droopy and just down on everything. So it would make sense that he would prefer to hide away and work alone until he’s better

I feel like Inkling may be better in tune with his emotions. If he’s sad he gets to the root of the problem and tries to fix it. If he’s sad over something he cannot change? Maybe he makes some tea and just relaxes in the library to some music and reads or something. If someone comes to check on him maybe he looks tired and isn’t as talkative.

I feel like looking at Octonauts realistically Kwazii wouldn’t even know of the T-Pose meme.

And I also don’t know what kind of condiment he prefers. :/

Yeah, I have left the chat lol. Kind’a fits because I’m on a break now.

I went from being in my chair, happy and drawing a lot of pictures,

To droopy and annoyed with no pictures.

To just gone. :|

(Post in question)

XD Thank you! I’m glad you liked it :}

Aww thank you!! I try :} And I’m glad you like my Octonauts art! That means a lot! :D

As for how I draw hands? Well, I cant find the original post, but you can look at this hand tutorial I made a while back. Its a bit outdated but its still good in my opinion. :} 

Personally I don’t think he, or any of the crew members do really.

Zoomies in cats are directly linked to their sleeping schedule which causes them to have a lot of built up energy at times.

Kwazii being sentient, having a different sleeping schedule, having daily physically active activities, having a different diet, body shape and size etc, etc, etc, lead me to believe that it wouldn't make sense for him to just be completely full of energy and be uncontroably bouncing off the walls at any given time.

So no, I don’t think he does. :/

I’ve always wondered about Kwazii’s family and why only Calico Jack is ever mentioned. Maybe there’s a darker reason behind it? 🤔

:0!! That’s adorable! 

Where's the lie?? XD

Daww thanks, I’m glad you like how I draw him :}

She secretly splatters some green paint on Tweak and she doesn’t notice XD

(Post in question)

Ye, :} I’m going to continue to work on his design but for now he has a lil vest thingy. And thank you! I tried to make them look cute, :D

That would certainly throw everyone for a loop XD

All the knives are dirty and she be cravin dat bread

I did say I had plans to make Decepticon OCs yes. I was going to make about 17 actually.

But my drive to draw them kind’a diminished, and my hyper fixation on Transformers eventually got replaced with another one. :/

That sounds like something that would actually happen in the show. :0

I imagine Ratchet would perk up out of concern for the breathlessness part yeah. But eventually he’d just get annoyed by all the noisy laughter. XD

I think her paws would burn yeah, or at least are at risk of getting burnt.

Which is why my version of Tweak wears gloves, safety first Tweak!

I don’t think I would want to no.. and I don’t think I ever will. Making up my own crew member OCs just... I dunno, I don’t normally like making OCs for things like this, it just makes the characters feel really out of place.. ●﹏●;

The only Octonaut OCs I have made are some monsters for my Sea Dwellers AU, and maybe I’ll make some unseen family members of the Octonauts? But that’s as far as I’ll go. No made up crew members for me.

[frostfireft]

Can you headcanons about Natsu being short?

OH BOY CAN I-         

-Natsu is 5'2″ (roughly 157cm for the Non-Americans.) and entirely made of rage and spite, but he’s also far more intelligent than people give him credit for, so he got really good at finding ways to hide it. 

-No one who fights him notices this. They’re too busy getting their ass kicked or avoiding his attacks. he makes sure to keep them busy. 

-And no one in the guild really pays attention to it because they’re so used to it! Besides, he’s so loud and in your face anyways. Height doesn’t matter if he’s about to use you to start a brawl! 

-Also he sits down a lot or dramattically leans in a way that makes people think he’ll be taller than he is when standing. He also avoids standing next to Levy, Romeo, and anyone else who’s relatively short. Because he knows he’s short and doesn’t want to deal with people teasing him for it. 

-He also tends to wear platformed shoes, but only enough that it just looks like a thicker sole. He’s sneaky like that. 

-And before he joined a his team, no one would have thought about it twice. They only ever saw  him in pasisng, and people didn’t know his face well enough to reconize that Bora wasn’t him in Hargeon. After he joined the team though.... They became very well known, and he walks beside them all the time. 

-Gray’s nearly a foot taller than him (6″1′/185cm). Erza’s about half a foot taller than him(5′8″/173cm). Lucy is taller than him by two inches, but she has the tendency to wear heeled shoes too(5′4″/163cm). Even if his shoes even their height, Lucy is taller in her heels. Wendy is catching up to him(5′0″/152cm). 

-So random people on the street? They definitely notice that Fairy Tail’s “Salamander” is a tiny dude, and they tell him as much..... then they get punched, because despite his size, he’s build like a fucking tank (and the dragon magic just makes him more of one than he already is). 

-and because of this, the rumor doesn’t spread much..... at first. 

-Then one day, Jason from Sorcerer’s Weekly gets wind of this rumor, and he disguises the need to validate this information by wanting to do little profiles on all the mages that were willing, including their height. He mainly got away with this because of that years grand magic gaes coming up.

-It’s pretty much checkmate at that. If Natsu refuses, everyone will know it’s because he’s short and doesn’t want people to know how short, and if he does, then everyone finds out his exact height. His hands are tied. A week later everyone in Fiore gets a kick about how “tiny and cute” Natsu is, because he took a photo of him standing next to Elfman(7′3″/221cm) to include.

-They laughed a little less when he let his rage feul him for one of his fights and he absolutely decimated his opponent in seconds. 

-That being said, once the cat was out of the bag, it was out. 

-He can and will climb the tall people to avoid anything he doesn’t want to do. The first time he did this everyone froze, compltely startled. He scaled Elfman in under two seconds and pulled himself into the rafters because he didn’t want to sit at a table. 

Gray: How’d you learn to climb so fast? 

Gajeel: it’s because he’s short. 

Natsu: Fuck you

-It’s half because hes short and half because he grew up cllimbing in the mountains with Igneel. He will stack and climb the most unstable shit just to get to the top shelves. He does not fear falling. 

-He liked to hide in the guild’s rafters even before this, but not he does it even more often now. 

-If you;re the asshole who holds shit over his head, he will climb you to get it back. 

-if someone has to get into something out of a small space (a vent, a drain, ect) he’s the one to go crawling to get it. 

-He actually really likes small spaces, because not only is he small, he’s double jointed. He can comfortably contort in all sorts of ways, and he’s not above hiding in cabinets, beneath booth seats, ect. Sometimes it’s because he wants to be left alone, some times it’s to pop out and spook people, and sometimes just to see if he can fit. 

-So far he’s managed to fit himself into a carry on suitcase, a pillowcase, and one of Erza’s backpacks. she almost punched him when he unzipped it and popped his head out. 

-He can and will steal everyone’s hoodies. He likes that they smell like his nakama, and they’re always huge on him, even when they belong to guild members closer to his size, because they also like large hoodies. 

- He owns several pairs of platform boots and heels, which he can fight in because he tained himself too. He’s fucked up his ankles many times while getting to that point though. 

-The spell that turns someone into a dragon slayer basically makes them into a dragon in human skin, right? So his muscle and bones are stronger, but less dense. That combines with the fact that h’es short means there’s no way he’s more than 100 pounds/45 kilos. 

-This means that when people try to pick him up they damn near throw him. 

-It also means he’s really easy for them to carry when he does dumb shit and gets hurt. 

-Being small causes his center of gravity to be closer to his core, and this aids him in a lot of the gymnastic and arial shit he uses in fights. This plus the fact that he’s a speedy little shit  and the fact that he’s small means he’s really hard to hit. Sure, some people could knock him out in one attack, but that attack has to actually fucking land before he darts in attacks, and zips back away before they can touch him. 

-He’s hug sized. This is his favorite thing about being small, because he can go and sit in the laps of those he’s close to and get tucked under people’s chins. It makes him feel loved when he’s having a bad day. It makes him feel loved, and he’s touch starved anyways so. 

-Not to mention the fact that most of Fairy Tail is touch starved, so somtimes he does that just to help them. (also platonic cuddles are incredible)

-He makes his own clothing anyways, but if he didn’t he could fit in some of the clothing from the kids section. He does tend to buy kids sneakers because they’re cheaper and his size. 

-This also means his clothing is cheaper to make because he needs less fabric.

-He’s absolutely gotten into a theme park or two at the kids price with Wendy. The rest of the team thinks it’s hilarious. 

-The few times he’s watched the parade instead of participating he’s had to watch from a room because he can’t see over the crowds. This happens anytime he and the team go to watch something too, so sometimes Gray will let him sit on his shoulders, and Wendy will sit on Erza’s. 

-When stuff goes flying in the guild, it tends to go right over his head and hit whoever is behind him. 

-So he’s happy being himself as long as people aren’t being assholes about it.

[thecatchat]

Quarry they meet the new end dragon’s egg (Dreams secret real job was to help hatch protect and carry out the dragon/eggs will) and Karl jumps in picking up the baby dragon (who’s like the size of a Karelian Bear Dog).

He’s just spinning her around and gasping at the cute baby dragon while everyone else is blue-screened cause that’s kind of like their worlds devil as there’s not supposed to be any gods but XD.

XD killed the ended dragon a long LONG LONG time ago and ascended to the only god.

They tentatively ask Karl what… does he know what… that is? And he, still spinning around, says yeah! “I can feel the threads bind together, what I never knew was a patch has been woven up again completely. She is the blood of this dimension. XD may be the mind, the personality, but she is the spirit and heart of this world. I can hear it beat with every breath she takes.

Everyone: *shocked or terrified*

Karl, holding up a paw: also look at her widdle claw beans!! 🌸

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh My God this is perfect!!!!!!!! So cute!!!!!! Karl probably isn't even aware that he's spooking everyone!!!!!! Quackity is there too like "Alright, not the strangest thing that's ever happened. The winged lizard thing is kinda cute. Hey why is my sunshine looking at it like it's evil personified?"

Maybe the first ender dragon never properly learned what humans were? Like a wild cat getting caught off the streets and put into an apartment building with people. At first it was content to hiss and spit at who ever came near it. But one day it decided to take action and actively hunt out humans. That's when XD stepped in and killed them.

Plus, since the dragon is the heart and spirit of the dimension, maybe there were a lot of wars going on and conflict. The dragon would have reflected that aggression and fight.

Karl probably informs them that as long as the baby has good and positive interactions with humans, there should be no reason for it to start murdering everyone. Sapnap is the most skeptical of the three, but the moment Karl convinces him to give the baby head scratches, his heart melts.

Wait, what if it imprints on Quackity at first, because he would be the only other thing with wings!!! Baby ender dragon starts following and copying Quackity and he's like, "you wanna be my kid? Fine, but I can't keep you at my place, I already got one over there. You stay here with Sapnap alright? Now, can I teach you how to pick pocket people?"

Quackity is not allowed to be alone with the baby after that! Lol!

[eschergirls]

Originally posted at: https://eschergirls.com/photo/2020/04/22/guaranteed-get-female-your-bag

Another gem from Jess Morrissette on Twitter:

"What if we simply played to our strengths? What if we're so good at gaming, it somehow triggers an 'I want the alpha male' response in females?" A Game Geek's Guide to Getting Girls (PC Accelerator, February 2000).

I know PC Accelerator was trying to be a Maxim for gamers thing but holy crumbs.  Even as comedy this comes up short.  I almost would say you could make a drinking game out of reading this article but you'd probably die taking shots whenever "a female" showed up.  Also extra points for the advice to hide your gaming interest from a woman until you "bag" her because not letting your partner know about an important hobby in your life is a great way to make sure she's interested in it. >_>

Transcription for screenreaders (thanks again to Bella (@MoviePosters00) for the transcription):

A GAME GEEK’S GUIDE TO GETTING GIRLS

Okay palm-shavers, listen up! Reaction time is a factor. Say the first word that comes into your mind when we say "flying fat baby with a bow and arrow." No — not Messiah! Dammit, your answer is the reason we're writing this article. When you see that pint-sized chubby cherub whizzing around plinking people, it means Valentine's Day is breathing down your neck ... and baby, with this much love magic in the air, even you might be able to get a date.

As a service to you, our reader and — dare we say it — our friend, PCXL has sought an answer to the mystery that plagues so many gamers, "how do I get a girl?" We've searched high and low, discussed this conundrum over beer, subjected ourselves to countless seconds of daytime talk shows, drank more beer, picked up (and hastily put down) many women are from Venus-type books, slurped down more brew ... and, amazingly, reached an answer.

COMMUNICATION

To get chicks, a guy needs to communicate — often by talking. Realizing this Herculean task would prove impossible for almost any gamer worth his gaming spurs, and tougher for those even more worthless, we beat our heads against this barrier for days (and sucked down more beer) until a glimmer of hope laser-burned its way through the hangover.

What if we simply played to our strengths? What if we're so good at gaming, it somehow triggers an "I want the alpha male" response in females? Heavy stuff. Before we could commit our theory to print, we knew it needed rigorous testing, experimentation, quantifiable results. Unfortunately, we have no scientific credibility whatsoever. But we've never let a lack of credibility stop us before.

TERMINOLOGY

Here's a quick primer of terminology used in our experiments ...

Chick = Girl = Babe = Woman = Lady = Female = The ones with the bumps who constantly perplex us

Game Guy = You = Horny = Geek-like = Perplexed = Everyone needs a little help sometimes

Game =Game

Theory = An unproven idea that's more than likely wrong

Hypothesis = An unproven idea that's more than likely wrong. Also, the side of a right-angled triangle opposite the right angle.

Postulate = Something you assume from the outset to be true, unproven and wrong pretty much by definition

PCXL = Horny = Geek-like = Perplexed = Everyone needs a little help — and we're here to give it

EXPERIMENT ONE: THE "INTERACTIVE ROMANCE"

SUMMARY

In an ongoing effort to bring males and females together via the arena of computer gaming, a number of new companies are creating "gender-friendly'" titles. DreamCatcher Interactive (http://www.dream-catchergames.com) has developed an interactive romantic adventure based on a true story. The Legend of Lotus Spring (set to release February 2000) has players of most major sexes participating in the story of a young emperor and the woman that he is forbidden to love. Described as a "whimsical, non-violent game," TLLS takes you to the Far East over 100 years ago, touching on cultural, as well as romantic and adventure elements. As a date-locating technique, the TLLS experiment was an abject failure, as evidenced by this Session Excerpt from a co-ed focus group:

SUBJECT ONE (female)

They should've gotten Fabio to be in this thing!

SUBJECT TWO (female)

I'd like to help with the "motion capture" for that!

SUBJECT ONE (female)

It's so whimsical and non-violent!

SUBJECT THREE (female)

Awwwww, look at that! There's a "virtual serenade."

SUBJECT FOUR (male)

Sweet Jesus, please let me die.

PLUSES

Subjects 1-3 enjoyed whimsical, non-violent gameplay; Subject 4 also experienced Culture and Sensitivity-Broadening elements, as per his previous plea bargain with the City and County of San Francisco, California. (His original offense involved animal shelter felines and "Black Cat" brand firecrackers, but we shan't elaborate on that story.)

MINUSES

Despite a sincere effort on Subject Four's part to share the cultural and romantic elements of the game, considerable friction erupted. Subjects 1-3 suggested a "Fore-Player HunkMatch" mode while Subject Four insisted the experience remain a "Single-Player Shooter." Alas, Subject Four did not survive the triple-strength Silent Treatment that ensued.

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

Minus One. Not only did the male subject fail to score, but he was repeatedly and needlessly reminded of his utter lack of resemblance to Fabio.

EXPERIMENT TWO: PLAYING HOUSE

THE SIMS

Frankly, everyone believes that The Sims, from software-as-living-toy masters Maxis, is going to be an absolutely cool game. If you didn't read last month's exposé (crawl out from under your rock), it's the "game of life" made real.

You develop characters, Sims as they're called, and guide, coddle, force, etc. them through various phases in life, searching for financial and marital success. You can end up a lazy, jobless, criminal (much like the PCXL editorial staff) or you can develop a thriving career, gain the respect of your peers and co-workers, and generally lead the sort of enviable life we'll never quite achieve.

Lightbulb flashin' over your noggin yet? That's right — this should be perfect for connecting with chicks! We had the same thought ... not surprisingly, we once again demonstrated our total lack of experience and knowledge of the female thought process.

We were deep into the experiment when we realized that playing The Sims with a cute lass is like eating the broccoli and skipping dessert. How so? The Sims is just so real when you play it with a chick. They actually try to do well with their characters and they want you to succeed too. By the time you're done, you're married, employed, saddled with children ... and you haven't even gotten a kiss off the girl (in real life).

PLUSES

If you're really hard up, The Sims is sort of like practice for relating to real flesh and blood females.

MINUSES

The Sims presents all the work with none of the perks. Perhaps the most telling test-result was this ... babes don't get weak-kneed around men who play house!

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

2.5 dollies — While the game initially got the attention of the female subjects and painted the male subject in a sensitive light, it eventually rendered the male subject more hard up than ever in "real life."

EXPERIMENT THREE: GIRLS THINK THEY CAN DRIVE

NASCAR LEGENDS & TEST DRIVE 6

Why did man invent the wheel? So he could invent cars. Why did he invent cars? So he could impress chicks, of course. The attempt to translate the theory that "chicks are impressed by car-savvy guys" into "chicks are impressed by car-GAME-savvy guys" began with Test Drive 6 from Infogrames —and an utter failure to "get her motor running." The following audio was recorded during a race through Rome:

GUY

Hey! Watch the curve coming up!

CHICK

Is there a map? I don't think this is the best route, we should stop and ask for directions. Isn't Father of the Bride on Channel 4 tonight?

CAR

[CRASHES]

The session was immediately scrubbed and re-started the next day using Nascar Legends. In addition to bitchin' graphics, the incredibly realistic races in Nascar Legends are on tracks — eliminating the whole map thing. Our male test subject was able to expound on the muscular virtues of a 1970 Plymouth and get veeeery groovy in his lingo.

GUY

This is so groovy.

CHICK

Did you just say the word "groovy"?

As the race intensified, Nascar Legends and the general grooviness seemed to be having the desired effect.

CHICK

Mmmmm, wish I could drive this with a joystick ...

Unfortunately, this test case proved inconclusive, because the friggin' puss — ahem — guy, made the fatal mistake of paying too much attention to the game and ignoring the girl. He allowed a full 37 seconds to elapse before responding to the joystick statement, sending several possible messages to the test chick:

A) He was not interested in any way whatsoever in helping her get her hands on a joystick.

B) He cared more about the game than he did about her.

C) He is a total lame-ass and is wasting oxygen that a real man could use to deliver a clever joy-stick retort.

Despite the excellence of Nascar Legends, this experiment resulted in the death-knell response:

CHICK

Isn't Father of the Bride on Channel 4 tonight?

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

Five joysticks for the game, three joysticks for the experience of actually playing this with a female, and an obvious and complete lack of a joystick on the part of the male test subject.

EXPERIMENT FOUR: CHANGING TACK

NOCTURNE

When G.O.D. opened the Spook-House doors and unleashed their deliciously ghastly Nocturne, little did they imagine the power they were placing in the hands of the would-be non-virginal male. A combination of "X-Files" chic and classic survival horror action, Nocturne will give you the tools to awaken your "little zombie" from the dead, but you can't expect G.O.D. to do all the work. Take a cue from the game's incredible atmosphere and transform your grotty little hovel into an environment suitable for jitters-induced romance. Lower the lighting ... candles would be a nice touch. Make sure your friend/room-mate/mom (oh, you sad little boy) won't pop in and burst your love-bubble at the climactic moment. Steal some grave stones and casually lay them about:

GIRL

Are those real grave stones?

YOU

Oh, these? They sure are.

GIRL

You're so cool, after we play a little bit of Nocturne, let's do some ... rubbings.

Don't talk during the game play if you can help it. Let the silence and tension build so that when a shambling horror suddenly lunges at her onscreen persona, she'll shriek. The effect is totally ruined, however, if you're the one who lets loose an effeminate shriek.

PLUSES

With proper set-up and execution, a "Nocturne Date" will deliver more sizzle than a dozen oysters. Even if you don't score, a night of blasting werewolves and zombies is a night well spent.

MINUSES

There's a definite gross out factor at work here. When ghouls overwhelm your date and feast on her twitching on-screen corpse, she may be more inclined to vomit than make out with you. On the other hand, you can turn this negative to your advantage by slapping a hand over the offending image and intoning in your best movie hero voice, "This isn't something you want to see."

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

Four Severed Zombie arms. Good for you!

EXPERIMENT FIVE: SAVE ME HERO!

THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT

Admittedly an unlikely candidate for Date Movie of the Year, The Blair Witch Project — the overhyped no-budget, shake-cam, low-grade-video epitaph for three missing-and-presumed-screwed filmmakers — yielded the highest results in terms of female subjects exposed versus female subjects, ah, exposed. Throughout the course of the film, the three actors lose their bearings. hurl profanities at each other, and eventually meet an enigmatic but doubtless unpleasant end.

Of course, the game version of this, utilizing the Nocturne engine, is in the works and will be published by G.O.D. A clingy female, the DVD, followed by the game… what kind of loser would you have to be screw up this opportunity for a terror induced tryst? Now where the f —k is the map?

PLUSES

The overwhelming majority of female subjects tested responded positively. often sporadically clinging to the males next to them during, and in most cases after, the film. At least two left the theater with the stated intention of staying with the males that evening. Of course, at least a quarter of the male subjects also clutched the males next to them at least once during the film. There are, ah, other magazines that will deal with those test results.

MINUSES

A very. very slim but noteworthy percentage (about 8%) of otherwise-sensitive female subjects found the film's terror element utterly ineffective —thereby degrading the relative status of the participating males (who thought the film was scary) to that of instant, shriveled Weenie. “This is so not cool, Josh!”

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

Five wood-stick-figure-thingies. Heh, heh, heh — we said "wood."

WHAT WE LEARNED

Of course, much of our experimentation assumed the herculean task of getting the girl into your "love nest” in the first place. If you can manage that, then it's best to keep your passion for gaming a secret (until you've bagged her).

Going the route of using horror to terrify a “victim”' to your arms is more fraught with problems (not to mention issues of legality). So get them in to your life in whatever way you can, then you can use the tips and game styles we've investigated to ensure that you can still spend time at your PC and keep the girlfriend happy (a tough mix — trust us).

What could possibly be better than a lovely co-operative Diablo adventure, a Worms: Armageddon face-off, or living out your virtual lives together in Everquest or Asheron's Call?

Remember though, that the real fun and frolics needs to be done in the real world, not online. There are probably laws against that kind of thing.

EXPERIMENT SIX: LET’S GET LITERARY

SALEM'S LOT

This technique was developed outside our offices but captured on videotape. It's so diabolical, so shameless, that we hesitate to even report it. But we will anyway.

The Diabolical Test Subject (DTS for short) had candles lit, Courvoisier at the ready, and was seated with a girl (GIRL for short) on a couch. Further still, he was, brace yourselves, talking to her. In the midst of our shock we realized that he was reading.

It took us two minutes to determine what tome of romantic lore he was reciting ... it was Salem's Lot, by Stephen King.

You may be saying "So what? I'm a gamer, not a librarian.” Or perhaps you've seen the 1970s made-for-TV movie “Salem's Lot" starring Starsky (or was it Hutch?) Well, pay attention Love Master ... by borrowing someone else's words you'll seem smart. By displaying no fear (even during the graveyard scene with little Danny Glick) you'll seem more manly. But above all else, by reading, you will appear to be communicating.

At press time we hadn't managed to work out whether Blue Byte's new Stephen King-based release F13 will induce the same terror effect as Salem's Lot. It does feature a new story from the currently rehabilitating horror-meister and desktop themes and screensavers, etc. for fan boys. Fan-girls are fewer, but never turn to their touchy-feely drivel as a substitute.

TIFFANYSDOMAIN.COM

Do you know why we love Tiffany so much? (If you've seen her pictures here and you don't know, you've got bigger problems than we thought). We love her because she's on Playboy's new video "Wildwebgirls.com"

And we love her because she's on the Playboy Channel's "Night Calls." She also has her very own website that we've been spending an inordinate amount of time “researching” for this feature ... tiffanysdomain.com.

If, after reading this little bit of prose, you still remain chickless, you can see a whole lot more of Tiffany (and a wagon-load of other babes who have problems staying dressed) on "Wildwebgirls.com”... or checkout www.playboy.com for all the steamy details.

Thanks Tiffany!

[bisexualsforprompto]

Okay so I know I've already asked for one, and that this may begin to get kinda cathartic, jealous!Adrien with either Wally or Kaldur?

It’s no problem! I like asks and was already planning on doing this ship because of the anon from above! I might do Wally later, @caffeinetheory and I have a really cool idea for a soulmate AU but it’s less salty and more cute (also that was off topic but oh well)

Also the basis of this idea was suggested by the wonderful @abrx2002 , thank you!!!!

Jealous! Adrien Kaldurnette Headcanons

During the Syren incident Adrien expected to meet the guardian as soon as he’d complained to Ladybug about it

But what he did not expect was to see the miraculous cure cast shortly after he’d asked to meet him

Chat had ran over to see what happened

It turned out Aqualad had gotten wind of the situation and travelled to Paris in order to help Ladybug with his water powers

Adrien was slightly annoyed that Ladybug had been helped by someone entirely knew and not her own partner!

But he anger was quickly soothed when the guardian summoned him

Maybe he’d finally get to be Ladybug’s equal!

But when he met with Master Fu, Ladybug was there as well, neither of them looking happy.

Master Fu told Chat he could no longer wear the black cat miraculous

Chat tried to plead with Ladybug but she was no help

So, in private so even Ladybug wouldn’t know who Chat used to be, Master Fu stripped him of his miraculous

Adrien was already angry enough

But then he saw that Aqualad became Ladybug’s new partner

A non miraculous wielder was Ladybug’s new partner!

When he saw how quickly he was replaced, his crush on Ladybug fizzled out quickly

But he started to notice Marinette more

She had all the attributes of Ladybug he liked and he knew she would never replace him

So he toke notes, figured out her likes and dislikes

The problem with his approach to Ladybug was he didn’t plan enough

But with Marinette he had the perfect idea

He’d bring her pink roses and then invite her to his photo shoot, since she was a lover of fashion

But the day he planned his surprise for her an anomaly occurred: Marinette Dupain-Cheng was early!

And she was standing on the school steps with some guy Adrien had never seen before

He got out of his limo, holding the flowers behind his back and heard Marinette’s musical laugh

“Thanks for driving me Kaldur!” She said, kissing the cheek of the boy next to her, “I would’ve been late if you hadn’t picked me up!”

“Of course Marinette.” The boy-Kaldur, had said, “I’ll see you tonight, right?”

Marinette nodded with a smile.

And then, to Adrien’s horror...they kissed

But he couldn’t let a...minor setback stop him

He waltzed up to Marinette, flowers still hidden and asked, “Who’s this?”

Marinette blushed, “Adrien! This is Kaldur, my boyfriend!” She had grinned when saying her boyfriend’s name, it made Adrien’s blood run cold

“Oh...Really?” Adrien sized Kaldur up, he wasn’t bad looking, quite the opposite and that was the problem, “Hey Mari could I talk to you for a second?” He asked grabbing her arm

“No, can’t it wait?” Marinette asked wincing at the pain from Adrien’s nails

“I really need to talk to you now Mari.” Adrien said trying to drag her away

But he found himself being shoved back.

“It would be wise if you took a step back,” Kaldur seethed, “What part of the word ‘no’ did you fail to comprehend?”

Adrien dropped his flowers, “Fine.” He clenched his jaw, “We’ll talk later, Mari, right?”

Marinette dodged his gaze, “What if I don’t want to, Adrien?”

Adrien gritted his teeth. “Fine.”

He walked into the school without a second look at Marinette

It was fine

He’d get her one way or another

————

Taglist:

@northernbluetongue

@queen-of-the-trash-planet-tm

@luciferge

@legendaryneckjudgestudent

@interobanginyourmom

@beaversuenightly

@worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry

@mochinek0

@shamefullove

@emjrabbitwolf

@actual-disaster-human

@littleredrobinhoodlum

@elijahcoser

@daminett4life

@18-fandoms-unite-08

@kawaiigiantjudgefish

@myazael

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@novicevoice

@abrx2002

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@the-fusionist

@lesscoolloki

@aegyobutpsycho2

@spiritofchaoticdreams

@shizukiryuu

@luleck

@moonystars14

[painted-crow]

Do you think house pets can have primaries and secondaries too? If so, do you think they might reflect what their owners have?

They definitely have Sortings! This is an excellent ask 😂

I don't think the owner has a whole lot to do with it, though. They influence the way their pet's Sorting shows up in behavior, but the animal's personality itself is their personality, you can make them more or less stable and confident but I don't think they mold themselves after you.

Sorting my family's pets

My folks have eight animals in the house. Eight. My mom is “slowly” turning into a crazy cat lady and I’m absolutely fine with this. However, this post is actually long (and silly) enough that I’m switching to my laptop to put it under a cut.

Lots of cat and dog stories incoming :D

Tesla (my cat)

Double Slytherin, easy. He's ridiculously sweet towards me and mostly ignores everyone else unless they have food. (He's warming up to my mom though.) He's also a great actor. He's tricked everyone else into thinking he isn't cute and affectionate because he only acts needy and adorable when he's alone with me.

Funny story: he badly pulled a muscle in his back leg from a missed jump the year before last, and he REALLY liked the attention he got from me while I was nursing him back to health. I had a kind of kitty painkiller/anti-inflammatory stuff that came as a paste and could be mixed into wet food, which he normally only gets as a treat because too much upsets his stomach, but he was getting it every day for the medication. I also set up a special bed for him with a heating pad and kept checking on him and giving him attention.

He took a long time to heal, and the vet said I was doing the right thing, but I think I might have made it worse by being so nice to him because he really didn't want to get up and move around! He kept up the "I'm completely helpless, keep babying me" act for a year.

My mom finally took him to the chiropractor, who clicked his tail back into place and gave us some kitty physical therapy stretches for his leg... which he did NOT like, and unless someone was petting him at the same time to distract him, he'd scream like we were murdering him.

So, yes. Slytherin secondary 😂

Aardman (my brother's cat #1)

Huffleclaw. Loves everyone, including kids and babies--he's not only very patient with them, he's really enthusiastic and affectionate with them.

Knows EXACTLY how to get into mischief. Will grab your butt as you pass on purpose to get your attention. Often found in weird places, looking proud of himself: "look, I figured out how to get on top of the kitchen cabinets! I'm gonna knock stuff over now."

Thaddeus (my brother's cat #2)

Double Gryff. He's got big jock energy. This cat actually greets people with a loud meow and that upwards "sup" nod. If he wants attention he isn't subtle about it, and if you don't give it to him he'll play attack your toes. Very charismatic and friendly. He's also kind of an idiot who will fall off of things if he gets distracted while lounging.

He's a Gryff primary because when strangers come into the house, he'll vibe check them and decide if he's going to hide from them or smother them in love and cat hair. My mom was talking to a few different contractors about fixing something in the house, and Thaddeus was totally spooked by one and loved the other. I'm not saying that's why we chose the one he liked, but...

Gracie (my mom's cat)

Slytherin primary. Definitely my mom's cat, reluctant to interact with anyone else but very possessive of Mom's lap.

Possibly a Gryff secondary, or neutral state Slytherin. This house has a lot of cats in it and Gracie is tiny, but she takes zero crap and will smack the others in the face if they think they can push her around.

Isador / Izzy (pack mama cat, doesn't have a favorite human?)

You could make arguments for both Slytherin and Hufflepuff primary for Izzy. She loves all her humans and will yell at any of us for pets. We don't know how old she actually is (all our cats are rescues) but she looks and sounds like a prim old lady, which is appropriate since she's the matriarch of the house.

She does have favorites among the other pets, though. The dogs are her babies, she's known them since they were puppies and is very protective of them (which is pretty silly, since they're 65lbs apiece). She does NOT like Tesla, who is the biggest cat and full of ego, and doesn't really respect her lol 😂

She also didn't like the kittens at first. Gracie and Thaddeus were both kittens, only a few weeks old, that were abandoned in our neighborhood a year ago. Gracie showed up in the back yard, mewling, and Thaddeus was brought over by a neighbor who had found him but wasn't prepared to get up several times a night to bottle feed a kitten. My mom took both of them and we ended up keeping them. Izzy was a little bit hostile towards them at first, but she came around and now they’re part of her pack.

Hufflepuff secondary. If any of the other cats talks back to her, she hisses at them and the dogs come running over to check on her.

Maybe she's a Ravenclaw with a very Loyalist looking system? She cares a lot about keeping the peace. Yeah, you know what, Ravenpuff Izzy sounds about right.

Shawn (my mom's cat #2)

Slytherin primary, I think. My mom was visiting the shelter for dog tags or something basic like that, went back into the cat room to give the strays some love, and this gorgeous gray-and-white long-haired kitten climbed up her shoulder and wrapped himself around her neck and wouldn't let go. She had been Chosen.*

Shawn is also kind of a status hound within the house! The boys keep score of who's top cat... well, I don't know if Thaddeus cares (and Izzy knows it's actually her). Shawn likes to play dominance games with the other cats. He'll pick on Aardman and play wrestle with Tesla (who is twice his weight, but Shawn is very fluffy and he clearly thinks they're the same size, which is hilarious).

One of the Improvisational secondaries. I think he's a Gryffindor.

*Tesla also did this. The shelter lady took him out of the crate and within minutes he'd stretched out on my lap, belly-up, so relaxed he almost fell off. This is how you get a cat. I was actually looking to adopt on purpose, though, which my mom wasn't 😂

Rowan (my dad's dog)

This idiot dog. This absolute buffoon of an animal.

Actually, my mom is convinced he's not all that dumb, and he's tricking us all into believing he is so he doesn't have to be an obedient dog. If so, he's a VERY good actor. Slytherin secondary. (He also weaponizes the 🥺 eyes and my dad falls for it every time.)

Slytherin primary. Every time he misbehaves, my dad insists he's my mom's dog, but we all know better: he waits for my dad to come home and runs up and wags his entire body. He's SO affectionate with my dad and doesn't really care about anyone else's opinion. My dad lets this 65 pound, made-of-elbows idiot creature sit on his lap in the least comfortable positions possible, and baby talks to him.

Alex (my mom's actual dog)

Double Ravenclaw. I know, right? I haven't been Sorting many Ravenclaws in this list.

Alex is a very smart and fairly obedient dog. He is also a border collie (both he and Rowan are). He has also decided that Tesla needs a babysitter, and will follow him EVERYWHERE, doing that border collie staredown thing they normally use to herd sheep.

Yes. This dog tries to herd cats. He's very good at it, actually. All of our cats are indoor only animals (it's dangerous for them outside) but Shawn used to be a real escape artist. I'm not sure how we discovered that the dogs could do this, but we can call the dogs and tell them "get the kitty!!!" and they will work as a team to literally herd the cat back into the house. We didn't train them to do this. They're purebred border collies and they just know.

Anyway, Tesla and Alex get into drama. If I'm holding Tesla, Alex is ALWAYS staring at him. I think it's that, although he likes Tesla, he doesn't trust him and he's trying to make sure Tesla doesn't hurt me. Tesla is Very Dramatic and will yell or pretend like he's going to bite me if he's stuck in a position he doesn't like on my lap or he thinks another cat is going to try to steal my attention, and Alex Does Not Like That. Tesla won't actually hurt me on purpose, but he puts up a front in public that he's only tolerating me.

Alex doesn't care if I tell him to go lay down somewhere else. He is going to stare at this cat no matter what. Sometimes, the thing Tesla is yelling about is that the dog is staring at him and he's not in the mood for that nonsense (or, he also just likes when I scold the dog on his behalf), and this doesn't help matters. Alex has decided he Must Protect, and that dog code is more important to him than my opinion 😂

Alex is a Ravenclaw secondary. He's put in the effort to learn to communicate with humans, and he's very expressive with his body language and pointing with his eyes/nose. I think if we got him a set of those word buttons people give dogs so they can "talk," Alex would pick up on it right away and use it a lot.

That’s all the animals for now! Will update next time my mom finds a cat xD

[loudlypanickinginvenezolano]

Animalistic.

Trigger warning for this chapter? Yes. I talk about dead animals, and got into some detail. So, be warned you all.

Shadow centric. Sorry not sorry. 

CHAPTER NUMBER 1.  also in AO3

If the alarmed squeal that had left his mouth had not been embarrassing enough, the sound he made when he fell right on his bottom, and hurt a bit his tail, definitely signed his name in the waiting list for a hole to appear and swallow him.

Right.

After making sure that no one had witnessed his embarrassing fall… besides the chirping ravens, that is… he allowed a sigh to make its appearance, rubbing a hand on his heaving chest.

Now he knew things WERE alarmingly weird, and not just him being a paranoid idiot, as his mind has been trying to reassure him. When he first had stepped into the forest he had noticed a particular lack of sound, of— of everything.

Don’t get him wrong, this was no normal forest, more akin to the very own of Angel Island, and the fauna was ever shifting, however, it wasn’t common for there to be such a lack of birds or rabbits or foxes or anything running around. There were moments, yes, but this one… It did not sat right with him.

His gloved hands grazed the thick and old trunk of the trees as he walked, branches and fallen leaves creaking loudly under his boots.

If he went out of his way just to step in those that looked extra crunchy, there was no one to say. Mostly, because there was no real “way” he was following. At this point, it was more wandering that other thing, leaving his paws take him to wherever they wanted, wondering quietly to himself what he may found today, what may have changed since yesterday...

That was, though, until his gaze fell in the scurrying fox not so far away.

Coming closer, he noticed and could hear clearly the chittering and snickering of three foxes. He stared for a while, deciding that, yes, he knew these foxes, and that yes, they were acting more nervous than usual. And that was saying something.

They jumped away once they noticed his presence, darting in different directions, leaving him only blinking in astonishment, as this was the first time they had reacted so fiercely to his presence. It was also with a pang that he realized that they almost seemed scared.

They had… never been scared of him like that.

Before he could ponder too long about it, a known black flashed on his peripheral vision and a grin made its way into his face. He sprinted towards it, leaping over fallen branches, rocks, and trees, scurrying under the thick foliage and water-filled lianas, sometimes squashing under his paws fallen fruits and some mushrooms he did not care to dodge. It was fun, not running because he needed to, or because he was racing someone. It was… a normal mobian that is just kidding around kind of run.

It was amazing.

Just as he thought he was going to succeed in catching the bird, they turned into another corner and… well.

He fell thanks to a dip he hadn’t noticed…Right in front of a sleeping bear.

A big, big growling bear.

It took him a moment to calm his lizard brain, realizing that, no, he wasn’t in danger, and that it was a half dead bear, not a sleeping or resting one as he had initially believed.

…On second thought, just-a-quarter-alive bear?

It was kind of pitiful to see, and once again he felt his breath leave him completely once the picture completely dawned on him.

Shadow blinked in direction of his winged friend, even though there was nothing to gain by it. It was not like he could ask what had happened, or why he was leaded here, if he was leaded at all or was just coincidence…

The raven was practically crooning at him, shaking his tail feathers and hopping into his spot.

Cute, indeed, but it didn’t answer any of his questions. He felt like glaring in frustration at his unhelpful company, and being honest, he almost did, however, the groan the bear make shifted his focus into the more pressing matter at hand.

Really, how was the thing still alive? It certainly had…a number…done on it. The blood pooled around it, and he was sure half it face was missing. Though, it most likely was because of the ravens it was still trying to spook.

Or maybe the culprit was a monkey? He was sure he had seen a few 4 days ago, but even so, if they were still here or not was a complete wild card.

Shadow stood, albeit hesitantly, telling himself like a mantra that just because he didn’t feel safe next to bears it meant he was going to die or suddenly get hurt just because he got close to a very clearly dying one. He had fought in an alien invasion, for fucks sake! How come he still feared this dumb things?

It really didn’t help his uneasiness, nor settled his knotted stomach, but his step did not waver once, and his fingers never shook, so he was counting this as a success.

His eyes widened as he fully took in the state of the bear. He could not tell wherever it was a male or a female, and the still pawing limbs of the bear were most likely not going to let him check. He didn’t think it mattered that much, but it could be nice to know.

The bit marks though. His eyes always found the way to them, not matter how much he was trying to check for other injuries. They were nothing like something he had ever seen before. On the actual animal kingdom, at least.

It wasn’t a wolf or any other territorial bear attack as he had thought at first. It was most likely a new animal, or well, creature, that had found its way into his forest. It wasn’t uncommon.

That didn’t make the view of its teeth and claws marks any easier to see. Whatever it was, it was big, a predator, and vicious. The maw was…all wrong, and claws this size and this thick… the markings all around the place, as well! It got dragged, but to what purpose? From where? Scare others predators?

“Oh, thingy.” He mumbled, reaching up to plant his hand on the strong back of the beast. He didn’t think it appreciated his try at comfort, and to be honest, Shadow himself wasn’t sure HE would have liked it either. It was all he could think of, though, so they would have to endure. “I am…sure you did your best.” He could see the guts of the bear from his kneeling position, and there was no point in trying to heal the neck. It was beyond destroyed. It… they were huffing, dark eyes glossed over and flickering to everywhere.

Dark eye?

Shadow noticed a lost ear, and that the jagged cut along their hindquarters showed bones. Broken, most likely, judging by the looks.

“Hey, gumdrops, would you be so kind in stop picking at it? Thank you” He reprimanded at the disrespectful raven, blowing at him so he would fly away. His ruby eyes went back to the bear face, and stroke it with sadness even in his fear. Their claws were prickly, but didn’t hurt as much as what he knew he needed to do. “I don’t have something to say, but… I do wonder why you ended like this…I’m sorry, I guess…”

He forced himself to stare at the beast eye, as he ended everything in the quickest and painless way he could muster at the moment.

Trying to heal them would prove futile, and even if he did succeed in making them survive the day, the pain they were in, plus the blood lost, the broken bones, the neck, and face injuries… making it survive and live what most likely wasn’t going to be a happy existence, if they made it for longer than a week…

Shadow couldn’t make it. He knew he was usually seen as someone cold or, whatever the fuck Amy had accused him of being last time, but this was… cruelty beyond everything he could think of. Stopping their pain was a mercy. What the fuck, it was the only option he had!

He wondered for how long have they been like this.

He wondered what could have hurt the bear like this, just to leave them, barely nibbled on and broken beyond repair to rot…

He discarded his gloves and racked his fingers over the fur, seeing the cuts and old scars that littered the skin. He also checked the face, noting the lost teeth and bloodied gums. The maw hanged loose in an unnatural way, and he found a very strange thing inside its mouth, piercing the tongue and palate.

It was a spine. A short one, but sharp and strong, a dark blue that became white by its end.

He had stashed it into his leather strap thigh bag, where he had also kept his gloves, untrusting the ravens and others beast of the forest that he may not see, but knew where watching or running everywhere, and deciding that, no, the guts were in that state by blunt force or maybe stepping in, but not by ravens or any other animal when he heard something… strange, to say.

By this moment, the sun was shining brightly and strongly over the ground of the forest he had made home in, unlike earlier when he first stepped in, and the light could barely made it through the thick fog. It was a change he welcomed happily, as it made it easier to walk the terrain. Following the noises, and having a clearer view, it didn’t take him even 5 minutes to found 3 young bear cubs, trying to scare away a menacing wild cat.

Shadow stomach plummeted down.

So that was why…

[gemstoneconstellations]

Escape Artist Cat

Summary: Your cat made a secret friend who likes to put ugly bows on her and you don't appreciate it.

Wordcount: 1595

“Kuiper! I’m home!” You shout for your beautiful fur baby as you hastily throw off your work shoes. Within seconds you are greeted by a string of meows. Your small, slim black cat is now weaving her body between your legs, purring and meowing for you to hold her.

 You bend down and pick up the needy kitty, holding her like a human infant. “Hello my princess! I missed you so much- seriously!? Again!?” You groan as you catch sight of the dark purple frilly ribbon on her neck. This morning she had been wearing a simple bright yellow ribbon with a bell. You don’t even have to look to know that the ribbon was now in your mailbox.

“How? How are you getting out and who is changing your ribbons without my permission?” You hold the sleek kitty out in front of your face, staring into her gold-green eyes. Kuiper just meowed at you, pawing at your skin. You sigh and place her on the floor. She rushed to the kitchen, looking at you expectantly. “Okay, okay princess. Dinner first, then I’m changing your ribbon back.”

 You lounged on your couch, watching the hero news as you pet your sleeping kitty, who was now wearing a light pink collar. She rolled onto her back, showing off her belly; you noticed that it seemed to be rounder. “Someone needs to go on a diet.” You giggle as you scratched her under the chin. Someone must be feeding her as well. Your eyes wander to the box that sat on your coffee table; it was slowly becoming full of purple ribbons and the sight of it irritated you.

 You have nothing against the color purple. Any color looks good on your lovely Kuiper, but that’s just it. It’s your Kuiper, you furry cat baby, and someone is taking off the ribbons you put on her to replace them with their own. It was annoying. Plus, you like putting bright colors on her; it made it easier for you to spot her in the dark so you don’t accidentally step on her. But this is getting ridiculous. You need it to stop.

 The next day before you leave, you pin a small note to Kuiper’s collar, warning the offender to stop changing the ribbons you selected for your princess for the day. There; hopefully they respect your wishes. “Bye Kuiper, be good.”

 ~

 Shinso dropped his tired body onto his plush bed. Working as an underground hero is extremely exhausting. On top of already having a hard time sleeping, Shinso felt completely drained. He looked at the clock to see that it was four a.m.; he let out a loud groan. Luckily he doesn’t have to go back in till later that night, but still. Shinso wrapped his blankets tightly around himself, willing sleep to take over.

 A few hours later, he felt something fluffy covering his mouth. He grabs at the fur wrapped around his face; Shinso opens his eyes as he hears the familiar meow of his neighbor’s cat. “You know you should really stop sneaking out to suffocate me every day.” The cat just meowed at him, kneading at his toned chest as she purred.

 Letting the cat go to curl up on his chest, he looks over at the clock to see that it was barely nine a.m. “I’m going to sleep some more. Mind keeping me company, pretty girl?” The cat didn’t even look at him, seeming to have already fallen asleep. Shinso hums, closing his eyes again and stroking the warm fur ball on his chest.

 His neighbor’s cat somehow sneaking out to hang with Shinso during the day has been a reoccurring thing for weeks now. She always leaves before her owner comes home. It kind of felt like the cat was using him as a heated bed and belly scratcher during the day when her owner is away. He didn’t mind though; he loves cats and is happy to have a napping buddy. Plus it’s fun changing the cat’s collar; he could hear his neighbor’s frustrated groan sometimes. He could hear them question the cat about the collar or how she was getting out like she could answer back. Though, Shinso did also wonder how she keeps getting into his apartment.

 His hands freeze when he feels something crinkle under his fingertips. Shinso opens his eyes to see a note attached the light pink collar. Careful not to awake the kitten, he takes the paper and opens it before snorting into his hand.

 Please leave her ribbons alone. I like the ones she is already wearing, thank you very much. Also, ease up on the snacks; my slim kitty is turning into a bowling ball. Oh yeah, he is so buying the biggest bow he can find… after a few more hours of sleep.

 ~

 “Oh my god… it looks like you won first prize at a state fair!” You hold up your cat to look at the gaudiest bow yet. There were multiple neon colors, frill, and it was the size of her head! Where do they even find something like this? “Whoever you are, Ribbon Fiend, you have god-awful taste!”

 You struggle to get the ugly thing off. Kuiper meowed persistently, done with being held and wanting her dinner. You finally got it off and she jumped away from you to sit in front of her bowl. “Okay, okay. You are so bratty.”

 Once the fur ball was purring happily at your feet with a full belly, you picked up the ugly bow and was about to throw it away when you saw a small scrap of line paper stapled to it. Nah. Really?

 “Who the fuck just writes ‘nah’ after I wrote a paragraph! No, no nah! Kuiper, show me where you are escaping! You are grounded! I don’t like the crowd you are hanging with!”

 Kuiper ignored you, choosing to groom herself before meowing at you. “Don’t talk back to me! I don’t remember raising you like this! Bad furry baby!” Sick of your antics, your cat walked away from you to her cat tree for a nap.

 You were still muttering to yourself about hating the word nah now, that you missed the laughing coming from next door.

 ~

 After that, you would often get teasing notes attached to some of the ugliest bows. You asked them once where they even find them and the response made you giggle. Trying to spoil the furry baby by yourself by stealing my source? I think nah’ Okay, so you were starting to find these notes charming. Not sure how you feel with your cat becoming a carrier pigeon though.

 “I still don’t get how she is getting out…” You were laying on your couch, Kuiper curled up on you your lap. Next door, you heard your neighbor’s door slam and Kuiper instantly got to her feet. “Kuiper?”

 You watch as your cat ran as fast as she could to your room. Did something spook her? You followed her just in time to see her tail go under your bed. “Aw, Kuiper, what’s wrong?” On the floor now, you tried to squeeze under the bed. But there was no Kuiper in sight. You pushed clothes and boxes aside till you reached the wall… and the open air vent. “That’s how she’s been getting out…”

 Peering into the vent, you try to see if you could grab your escape artist cat by whispering her name. A man’s voice spoke up in surprise, surprising you as well. It sounded like the man was in the room; the vents must be directly connected. “Gah! Why do you always jump on my face as soon as I get home? You are very pretty but your fur does not taste good.”

 You couldn’t help giggling at the man’s distress. “That’s what you get for putting ugly ass bows on my cat. I’m coming for you, my bratty kitty.” Shimmying out from under your bed, you rushed out of your apartment to your next door neighbor. You’d never met him before so this should be interesting. You pressed the doorbell and waited.

 The door slowly opened and you were face to face with a man’s bare toned muscular chest. Holy shit. Your face instantly went red and you forced yourself to meet the face that owned the toned chest. “H-hi.” Your eyes met dark purple eyes with just as dark eye bags underneath them. All that confidence you’d had earlier, vanished, poof, gone. “I… um, think you have… my cat?”

 The man leaned against the door frame, his indigo hair swaying as he did. He crossed his arms and gave you smug smirk. “Nah.”

 Your eye twitched at the sound of that word; as much as you hated that word it didn’t sound so bad coming from him directly. “Nah?”

 “Yeah, at this point she’s pretty much our cat. Want to come in and discuss a custody agreement?” His grin widened as he motioned you inside. You could see Kuiper making herself right at home on his couch.

 You looked back at him. Yup, still shirtless. You swallow down your nerves and take a step inside, repeating to yourself not to mention he was shirtless and that the ugly bow fiend was maybe kind of a little hot. “Shirt- I mean sure, sure.” Kuiper looked up at you, still wearing the cute pink ribbon you put on her this morning. “As long as we can agree on no more ugly bows.”

 “Nah.”

[abloomntime]

A Bloom In Time Ch35(end)

(Hey everyone. I just wanted to thank everyone who read this far and liked my story enough to read it to it's end. I had a lot of fun writing it and it makes me happy knowing some people loved it enough to read it fully. Thanks to everyone for reading this, faving it, or leaving a nice comment. And thank you to GearsForBreakfast for creating such wonder characters and giving me the opportunity to make this wonderful story. )

Ah. Cupid's Day.  The day everyone expressed their love to one another whether it be platonic love among friends and family, or for lovers to have a nice relaxing day out on a date with their spouses. Usually Snatcher would absolutely despise this day because of the implications of love to him was even more exhausting than usual. Yes, he'd tolerate the kiddos giving him small trinkets or pictures he'd hang on the fridge or on the walls of his tree home, but very evilly and totally not because he actually liked them ok! It was on this day he had a very special surprise planned out for a certain red haired fireball of a woman. All he had to do was wait for the right time to show her is all.....

Which was easier said than done.

The first thing that happened when the day started was him getting bombarded by Hattie and Bow rushing in and shoving cutesy pictures and hearts in his face with big smiles on their faces. Of course being the most evil of evil rulers he was, made a big groaning scene about it before taking them, reluctantly of course, and very VERY menacingly hanging them onto the wall above them to show everyone how evil he was by keeping something so mushy around him and showing he didn't care. Of course he hadn't spent all month hurrying his minions into working faster to put the last finishing touches on his very evil surprise for Poppy just to have it spoiled by these two, so to distract them all he gave them some of that mail Poppy had insisted he'd take to give to all the minions and dwellers running around. That should keep the two of them busy and running around for a good while before they went back to that ship! Good thing they didn't bring Poppy with them into the forest. He wasn't sure how'd he be able to get her distracted enough to finish his work....That didn't apply to a certain witch though when he paused when he saw Hazelle pop up.

Snatcher frowned. "What are YOU doing here?"

Hazelle smiled having a cute home made card in her hand. "Can't a friend visit a friend, Snatchy? And truth be told I came here to see how you were doing after the whole incident was over."

He huffed and turned away. "I'm fine. Just....working on something before the end of the day's over."

Hazelle nodded looking over the cards in her hands. "That makes sense. If that's all then I'll be hopping over to Moonjumper now."

Snatcher snapped his head back around to her. "WHAT?!"

"Calm down. I promised the girls I'd give him the Cupid's Day card they made for him and drop off Timmy for their sleep over."

"WHAT?!," he demanded again narrowing his eyes at her and she rolled her eyes at him.

"Snatcher, he was grounded for a long time and he's just a kid. He didn't know any better. One sleep over with his friends isn't going to hurt Poppy or you. Get over it."

Snatcher grumbled under his breath but didn't comment anything else when she tucked the cards away. "Well I'm off. But if you want to see me again, I'll be dropping Timmy off later at the ship."

Snatcher didn't say anything as Hazelle teleported away and he turned back towards his destination. He had work to get done and a limited time to do it in. The day went by realtively normally and fast, the girls came back a little while later with enough leftover mail to give the minions for Winter Solstice gifts. So he dissmissed them and off they ran. He guessed to go back to the ship and telescope jump around the planet to deliver more of those home made scribbled cards to those birds and cat. Whatever. It'd keep them out of his hair at least for a long while. It certainly took a lot longer than he suspected to get done, but when the last mushroom was replanted, and the last minion patted the dirt in the right place he nodded. It was ready. Of course living in a dark forest, he couldn't tell how late or early it was in the day, nor could he from space, so when he teleported himself to the kid's ship he was a little surprised to find not only Timmy there but the weird blonde girl that once upon a time made an alternate reality to get rid of all bad guys.....So naturally he frowned seeing the two of them huddled in the living room watching TV on top of a bunch of pillows with Bow and Hattie. Mustache Girl...Was that her name gave him a frown back and Timmy looked slightly nervous seeing the spook there. He also guessed he just must've missed Hazelle dropping him off because he was standing in front of Poppy holding a pretty shining flower in a small pot in one hand and a red scarf in another. Poppy was already holding a small cactus like the one you'd find in gift shops and a basket that smelled of delicious food. She smiled upon seeing Snatcher.

"Ah was wonderin' when you'd show up!," she greeted.

"Uh yeah. What do you have there?," he asked gesturing to her the objects in her hands.

"Oh these?" She held them up. "Cookie stopped by and asked if Mu could join the lil get together for the night. Somethin' bout her n' that loud mouth bird havin' dinner ah think. So I said I'd watcher her too! She was nice enough to give us some more food and this cute lil guy!" She smiled at the small cactus. "Ah never tried growin' a cactus before so it'll be a real fun experience." She called Bow to come over to take the basket of food from her and intrusted her to put it away then turned back to Timmy. "Watchin' him too! Now ya'll said ya wanted ta tell me somethin'?"

Timmy gulped and nodded. "Y-Yes, ma'am. I uh-...W-Wanted to apologize for what happened. I'm r-really, really sorry." He held up the shining Twilight Flower. "I got you this straight from the Alpine Alps. Hazelle helped me pick it out, yeah."

Poppy regarded him for a moment, before smiling and shifting her cactus into her other hand, reached down to pick up the decent sized bright flower from him. "Now ain't that sweet? Now ah got two plants I never had before! ....Apology accepted."

Ah. She always did like kids. So of course she would forgive Timmy easily. She blinked again when he also held up the neatly knitted red scarf. "Moonjumper asked me to tell you that's he's sorry too, and that he hopes you'll forgive him so you all can maybe be friends. He made this for you."

Poppy blinked at the scarf, but before she could even respond a dark arm shot out and snatched the red scarf right out of the boy's hand and up to the scowling face of Snatcher as the yellow orbs laserfocused on it. "I'll be the judge of that.." For the next few minutes Snatcher spent looking throughly at the red scarf, as if sensing every fiber. Scanning it long ways and up and down, back and front, and tugged a few strands here and there. After a bit he looked back to Timmy with a supicious face.....and slowly held it out to Poppy. "I don't sense any magical hiddden energy in it. It's safe if you're going to accept it."

To his surprise Poppy did take it from him and looked at it for a moment, then to Timmy with a serious face. "When you go back ya tell him I accept his apolody and gift, but it's gonna take a while before I decide if I really forgive 'em." Timmy nodded and she nodded back. "Good now go play and behave with the others. I have something to talk with the purple onion for a minute."

As Timmy ran back over to the other children Snatcher raised a brow. "You have something to tell me?"

She nodded. "Yep. Hold these for a minute." She shoved the small plants into his hands and turned to walk off towards the door to the kitchen. She had a certain something to give Snatcher on this day. As a thank you for everything he's done for her, as you all might remember a certain gold skull that was found along with the other gold that Poppy and the girls found hidden in the attic. Well Poppy remembered Snatcher getting the girls those skulls in the attic as gifts and since this is Philip now, what better gift to get him than a golden skull? She wasn't sure if the skull was a real skull before that R.King turned it to gold with the gold potion but she didn't have enough time to think of any better gift when the girls suddenly left to go around handing out those home made cards they made to everyone without telling her. She should really stop sleeping in so late, but as she entered the kitchen she caught sight of it real quick. It was decided the golden skull would be the thing to be left behind and was hidden under Hattie's bed for safe keeping when they had left for Express Town a while ago, so she spent a good amount of time polishing it and cleaning it up until the golden skull gleamed at her, catching the reflection of the adorable picture the girls gave to her on the fridge. It was a messily but cute drawn picture of her and Snatcher holding hands, with the two of them holding either of their hands as well. Smiling, she held it behind her back and exited. Snatcher's face looked to the door as Poppy came back out smiling from ear to ear, one hand behind her back as she walked up to him. "Ah got somethin' for ya."

"Oh really?," he asked surprised, "You didn't have to. I had enough of this mushy love to last me for eternity."

She chuckled. "Well Cupid's Day is 'bout celebratin' the people ya care about right? That means good friends too." She finally brought it out and Snatcher's eyes instantly widened at seeing the shiny golden skull she held up to him. "So here's ta good friends. Happy Cupid's Day, Snatcher!"

Snatcher stopped and just stared at the shiny thing showing his relflection in it for a solid moment...before he took it into his free hand and stared at the beautiful gold skull with wide eyes. "It's......." He looked at her. "T-This is incredible. Where'd you get this?"

She bashfully shrugged. "I-It was in the attic when we found all the other gold. I was savin' it for an emergency but I thought I could use it for your gift instead. A-As a thanks fer everythin' ya did for me."

He still stared at her for a moment before a small yellow flush dusted his face and he cleared his throat. "W-Well it's very .....nice. Thank you I guess."

Poppy giggled. "Your welcome. It was the least ah could do."

Snatcher rubbed his thumb over the shiny gold for a moment, before looking back at her with a small smile. "Well....I happened to get you something too."

Poppy blinked in surprise at his words. "Wait. Really?"

He nodded. "Yep. But I can't show you here. You'll have to come back with me to my forest.''

Poppy looked a little skeptical at that and rose a brow. "Back to the forest? Ain't it too dangerous?"

"Not with the contract, and my minions know to not cause trouble." He smiled that usually smirk. "As long as Im in the forest you'll be fine. Besides you'll love it."

".....What 'bout them?," she asked nodding to the kids watching the tv.

"They'll be fine being along for a little while. Won't you?" The children either hummed or nodded not looking up from the funny penguin cartoon they were watching. "See? Sides. It's not like they weren't left alone before you came along for a while. C'mon. I swear you won't regret it."

Poppy still didn't look too convinced but in the end she agreed and so the children were made to PROMISE to stay there and behave while they were gone and they were teleported just as Poppy grabbed onto Snatcher's arm. The familiar purple came over here along with the weird feeling that came with it, before she looked up as the purple disappeared and soon found herself back in the familiar scene of the nightmarish forest. Poppy shivered at the sight of it all and all the minions or dwellers than happened to stand around stop and stare at her. Snather cleared his throat to catch her attention and he gestured for her to follow him up the pathway towards his tree home. Poppy rose a brow noticing he still had her plants in hand, but followed none the less. Snatcher flew right into his home, Rough Patch giving a lazy meow from the chair he laid on before yawning and turning the other way to sleep again. The golden skull was placed right on top of his shelf next to the sewing kit. He gave one last look over and smile before exiting the home and going outside and staying towards the left side of the home. Poppy was slowly walking her way forward blinking at him as he just floated there seemingly waiting for her to get closer. When she did, he smiled and silently pointed to the ground. Poppy blinked and looked to where he was pointing, eyes widening as she saw a small pathway of small bushes leading off somewhere into the woods. And soon enough Snatcher started floating down that way, giving one look back to her as her signal to follow before he disappeared between the trees. And of course, Poppy followed. Into the woods following along the bushes as she slowly took her time walking and walking......And walking. Slowly but surely, a few glowing mushrooms popped up here and there starting with the smaller mushrooms Hattie and Bow would use to bounce on before they became bigger. And bigger. And BIGGER until the bushes disappeared and there was nothing but lots and lots of beautiful glowing mushrooms everywhere. In all shapes and sizes and colors. She gaped at the beautiful glowing blues, greens, and reds of all the polka dotted fungi everywhere glowing in the moonlight and lighting up the place. There was a clear path between all of them replacing the one the plain bushes made and she continued down it still no sign of Snatcher anywhere either, not that she noticed. She was too busy admiring all the beautiful sights around her. Before the path took a corner and of course she followed it. And she stopped DEAD. A soft wind blew through the trees as multi colored petals blew towards her and to her feet a few purple, yellow, and red ones floating by her head. Her blue eyes widened and her jaw dropped as the sight of what she was seeing hit her with the force of a meteor from space crashlanding into the dirt.

Snatcher finally popped up as he floated next to her gaping frozen self with a proud grin. "So. Do you like it?"

IT. WAS. ROSES!! RAINBOW ROSES!! All the colors of the rainbow sitting right there and multiple of them blooming beautifully in the moonlight. Some of the petals on the ground in a beautiful arrangement of color. Shimmering in the moonlight like a rainbow on stems. She still gaped at all of them and Snatcher only smiled prouder. Yes. After making that owl cough up the location of these wild roses (an oasis not surprisingly in a desert) and taking the ones in her shop for good measure too, Snatcher had a peck of a long time just gathering them and digging(having his minions carefully dig) them up by the roots and teleporting every single one of them back to his forest. But the extra work was worth the look on Poppy's face just now. Poppy still stood there stunned for a long moment. Before pointing and looking at him....then back at the roses gesturing with both arms then back to him again still totally amazed and shocked.

"HUH?!"

"What? I promised a garden and I delivered a pecking good garden! You got your regular bushes, mushrooms, a couple exploding apples, and even a nice flower section all of your own. Your welcome.~"

"HOW?!" She looked back at the beautiful batch of roses. "W-WHERE THE PECK DID YA EVEN GET THESE?!"

He shrugged. "Some small corner in the desert. Nothing too hard to find really. Do you like it?"

"YES!!" Her shocked face was replaced by a wide smile and sparkling eyes. "PECKIN' YES!! T-THIS IS INCREDIBLE!! I-......Ya never cease to out do yerself ya purple onion."

He shrugged again. "Well...you did give me a gold skull. I say we're pretty much even." He handed back the two small plants he'd been holding on since she asked him to hold them back on the ship. "Here. What's a garden for if you don't plant anything in it?"

She blinked at him for a bit before taking the twilight alpine flower and cactus. "Will these even grow here?"

"Anything will grow here if I want it too. Sides, with your skills you could get anything to grow here regardless."

Poppy smiled at him before turning around and starting forward. The two then took a moment, Snatcher helping her dig two holes a little a ways from the roses so Poppy could carefully put her two new additions into her new garden and carefully pat them in. Smiling as a mother would smile at her children when she was done, even if the bottom half of her dress and hands were all dirty afterwards. She took a moment just....staring and smiling at her new beautiful garden and Snatcher stared at her with a bright smile on his face seeing her smile so genuinely after so long....before frowning and looking down.

".....Listen, Poppy." She looked back up to him and he felt worry pool in his gut. "I know I....made mistakes when we first met again and if you....really want to live somewhere else or even break from the contract I'll respect your choice fully."

"....That's so sweet of ya but.....I'm not planning on going anywhere for a while."

he snapped to her blinking. "Wait. Really?"

She nodded smiling before looking back to the roses. "Ah really don't where I'd go if I did. Never did have any interest in travelin' 'round. And...A-And I think I enjoy havin' the safety of a purple onion." She shrugged. "Maybe things will change in the future but right now....I'm happy and content at this moment." She looked at him, moonlight making her blue eyes shine. "Thank you."

He felt yellow flush through his face again and he quickly turned away. "Y-Yeah. Well you know where to find me if you ever change your mind! I-It's not like Im super attatched or anything you know! You're your own person after all! You can make up your mind any way you want!"

Soft hands grabbed his neck fluff and yanked him down to eyes level with those blue eyes suddenly and Snatcher didn't have any moment to react before a pair of soft lips gave him a quick peck on his fanged mouth. And he froze! Poppy pulled back and stared at him for a moment....before snickering. His mouth had dropped wide open, eyes small as a dime, and his entire face a bright yellow. The fluff around his neck fluffing up to new heights as he just sat there. OH PECK!! OH PECK!! OH PECK- POPPY KISSED HIM!! LIKE REALLY R E A L L Y KISSED HIM!! LIKE-....A REAL ROMANTIC KISS!! Her snickering brought him out of his stuper as he sqawked like a bird and immediately pulled away. And Poppy opened the flood gates to laughter as she snorted and laughed at his flustered state.

"Y-Your- AHAHAHAHAHA! *snort* F-FACE!! I-IT LOOKS LIKE A JACK O LANTURN!!"

"WELL!! I THINK ITS TIME TO GO!! AFTER ALL YOU'RE BABYSITTER ALL NIGHT!! AND IM NOT HELPING!!,'' he yelled out as he began floating away.

Poppy reached out for him before stubbling to her feet still laughing and chasing after him. "W-WAIT!! I DIDN'T MEAN IT!! AHAHAHA!!"

"YES YOU DID!! BACK TO SPACE WITH YOU!!"

"HAHAHA!! NO I DIDNT!!

"YES!! YOU!! DID!!"

The red head chased the flustered ghosts back towards the tree home. A gently wind blowing more petals to the ground.

[wetookanoath]

Supernatural Season 6 | The Haunting of Loey Lane.

Shane and his Shaggy cosplay are everything I need to know to be asured this episode will be iconic. And look a thim go. I love him.

I am way too distracted by Ryan’s buttons being open, I’m sorry, I cannot fuction now.

“Oh, no voice this time?” Okay, but Shane’s smile is... fjnfiwsmdikr. Why is this man like this? Anyway... Ryan’s laugh and the way he just, turns on Host Mood again, holy shit.

The way Ryan is narrating this episode is even more precious when you look at the credits and see that he himself wrote this episode. “From guru to booru”, I fucking hate you, Shane. Ryan’s face, tho. That look between done and fond, same.

“I was very respectful”, honey you were high in medicine, shut up.

Weekend At Ghoul HQ, starring Ryan Bergara and real size doll Shane. “I believe you believe” it’s the creepiest shit, stop that.

Growing up in a haunted farmhouse? Same. Oh gosh, jokes aside, I’m gonna say this right now... I’m not going to discuss in public whatever I believe in what may happen in this episode or not. I’ve been realizing slowly that I don’t feel comfortable talking about these things online because believing has a lot to do with faith to me, and faith is part of my life in a way that is too important to me. That said, watch me make fun of my own faith all the time and discuss whatever else you guys wanna talk about with me regarding the show, the boys, etc.

Loey saying she has never been scared of ghosts it’s exactly how I feel about the paranormal and the supernatural in general. I mean, I don’t claim having any kinds of powers or touch, or what have you. But god, I would be so happy and enchanted by seeing a supernatural being right in front of me. And whatever may scare me sometime, it’s always human doing, it’s always natural, tangible, there. And even then, I do like being scared. So there’s that, I guess.

“Are we Bruce Willis in this situation?” how the hell did that came from what they were talking about, lmao. Another Willis mention this season, Mr. Die Hard will end up becoming part of the inside jokes in this fandom at some point.

“I love a little stirring” Shane looks so excited about doing Some Bullshit in this episode, and I saw how chaotic he was in his solo, I can’t wait to see it by myself. LMAO, this bit is both funny and kind of adorable. Also, witches AU.

“Why would you come to us uf you want us to fix it?” An excellent question I don’t understand either, to be honest. The show is not about actually hunting enthities or debunking shit, so this is... come on. I think we know what it is, lmao. But it’s fine, I like this House Call shit.

No ofense, but using a 100 hundred years old Ouija board as a decoration is like a horror movie plot where white people are white people about it. I love it.

*Rubs eyes and sighs deeply*

... What is Shane doing with his tongue? I, I, I don’t like that... Not a fan... Put that tongue back in your mouth, Shane. I don’t like this bit.

Shane calling Ryan a, like, passionate paranormal investigator and the bitch immediatelly saying he is insane is my aesthetic and also yet again, a great summary of the show.

“This is the part where you learn how truly boring it is to be a ghost hunter”, lmao. Talking about these parts, I love the colors we get from the cameras each time, I can’t wait to make the edit for this episode.

Oh man, it must be something to see these two grown ass men saying and doing stupid shit to get ghosts to listen to them and do something But also, Shane slowly walking towards Ryan to film a super close-up of his eyes, OKAY. They are so stupid.

That... that is a werid thing, Shane is right. Oh man, this is giving me flashbacks to that serial killer dude in The X Files that was obssessed with women’s hair/cleaning them up for burials. 

Okay, that thing Shane just did with his mouth knocked me out for a bit. Imma head out. “That sounds demonic”, this better not be the season’s demon investigation. And oh look, what’s a supernatural season without Shane giving hints of him being a demon? It makes it funnier how he never really talks about it anywhere. Like he obviously knows aboutt he fandom’s joke, and I’m sure he keeps doing shit like this to feed it, but it all becomes even better when he just... never says shit about it. It’s always Ryan the one who answers when asked about it.

Cats do tend to get spook at everything and look up for no reason at all, every time my cats do that and one of nieces or nephew is around and asks about it, I always go “oh, he is just seeing the ghost that lives here” and then their mothers want to kill me.

Yeah, you don’t... do that. Horror movie 101. Don’t ever give permission to shit to enter. “Hey, can I come in?” “No, bitch, go away” is always the answer lol.

Guuurrrrllll...

This bitch ass thingy in her home really is there because of her. If there’s something in there, it’s not the place, it’s her. Also bitch ass demons as always listening to Shane is everything.

I.. like how Shane looks in that blue lighting. “Oh, you know what? Not bad, not bad”, why is he like this. 

Ryan’s metaphores are excellent, imagine him giving talks to his future children by using weird ass metaphore and the kids just... staring at him. 

“I’ll take you home with me, I don’t care” LMAO, imagine this idiot walking into his apartment, “Hey Sara? I got a demon, can we keep him?” “No” “Too late, I told him he is staying!”

“Assert my dominance” the smile? Awwww. The awkward moves of his hand, fjnvidnfir, Ryan is so fucking cute, makes me cry.

... What is Shane doing? I love how they just leave Shane’s whatever there while Ryan talks to Loey, fkjdniednfirnfgirt. Do that more often. Love that hair, also. Long hair is the best hair.

Shane literally saying he will use all the power he has gotten by defeating demons it’s such a powerful prompt. He is giving us the power to create shit, use it well, demon Shane writers and fanartists. “Alakazam! Big bang boom, hope you like hell, you loser.”, I fucking love this dork.

“What does that mean? You guys have inside jokes?” “Yeah, we bonded” JFNIERDNFIRF SHANE.

Loey is me and Shane is my brother, this is how we usually talk when one of us is saying some bullshit kfdndiofmkirg

“What’s your name? Come on, what’s your name? I know that gives away your power”, Ryan out there getting advice on demon hunting by The Conjuring 2 is the biggest mood. No, but for real-- there’s actually plenty of myths and cultures that believe the way to defeat some sort of evil is by knowing its name. It’s really interesting, the kind of power we really do give to names.

Not really a fan of this. Man, I really hope this is not the season’s demon investigation.

Ryan Steven Bergara Stop Saying You Are Annoying Or Ugly Or Whatever Negative Shit You Are Always Saying About Yourself Challenge.

This is such a “So... you come here often?” type of situation, djnfisndief, I love this. And we are back at the ‘I hate Shane’ bit again, I really stan a twelve years old. The fond voice with which Shane says “I mean, you are having fun”, awwwwwww. Cuties.

Shane looks hella cute doing his fornite dance, I hate him.

Did that shit just laugh after scaring this poor woman? JFNFIENFIERNIGF

Christ almighty, Ryan looks so fucking small at Shane’s side, what the hell? Also, this is so... damn adorable. Shane trying to teach Ryan how to do the dance, it’s hella cute. Oooohhmmmygoodddddd, I’mmmmm meltinnngggggggggg... Ryan’s little dance, djnfienf he is such a bad dancer, I love him so much.

This poor woman is having a breakdown in there and these two bitches are just being... whatever the hell they are doing, lmao. “You are suggesting a ghost farted in my face?” “Yeah” AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Ryan suggesting the demon is asking her out for a drink and looking at Shane while doing so, jfniednfir what the fuck is that. This demon suitor just doesn’t know how to ask her out on a date, lmao.

“Our job here is done!” and Loey’s reaction, dkjnfeinfir same.

Get haunted for the aesthetic, why not? Interesting episode.