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cheriladycl01 · 10 months ago

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Ghost - Oscar Piastri x UnknownDriver! Reader Part 3

Plot: Reader is the first female F1 driver of the century, however no-one knows that as you are a ghost on the grid. You started in 2022, coming in P12 in the championship. You get moved to Red Bull Racing in 2023 with the off year for Sergio Perez.

Standing up on the podium, not being able to do anything as you watched Oscar run off was torture. You had to stay there while your national anthem played that should have been amazing considering it was you, Lewis and Lando all up there together.

And of course, there were no breaks for you afterwards. Everyone wanted you, from SkySports, to F1, to Netflix. Everyone was throwing questions at you and asking how different your achievements feel now knowing that your the first woman to have completed many of them.

You were fine answering them, because like they said. All of your previous achievements were now bigger than they were as Ghost. People could tell that you weren't fully with them, you were a little spacey and sometimes struggled with hearing and answering the questions.

Most of them put it down to the post race fuzz of the win and revealing who you were, but upon getting to the Sky Sports Team who consisted of Jenson Button, Nico Rosberg, Natalie Pinkham and Danica Patrick questions turned sour.

"So Y/N aside from racing we caught light of Oscar Piastri's quick depart after the reveal, any insight on this?" Danica asks, making you look down.

"I don't think these questions are necessary" Jenson says just as the Red Bull PR manager was about to ask for racing related questions only.

"Yes please stick to racing questions only" the Red Bull PR backs up, nodding before taking a step back. You look back up, straight to Nico who had a soft look on his face.

"I'm just interested, you raced for Alpine last year when he was a reserve driver... for Alpine and you've been promoted to Red Bull this year while Piastri's made the move to Mclaren. Can't help but wonder if its underlying sexism that's made him this mad, you all cant deny he was blunt and rude in his interview with us earlier" Danica pushes and you head snaps up. You feel a hand on your shoulder as if to stop you from what your about to say but you go ahead anyway.

"I've hurt a dear friend. So how dare you stand there and try to victimize me, when he is the one that I've hurt. He knew me as Ghost's assistant and media manager... we were close and I've not been truthful to him for obvious reasons. So don't stand there and try to make him out to be a misogynistic twat when he isn't. I don't know what you experienced in NASCAR Danica but in F1 all I've experienced today is love and support. Just because your sport sucks doesn't mean mine does" you snap, and recoil shocked that you'd just said all of that. She looks at you also in shock, Jenson and Nico were trying to stop their laughter.

"Well, some strong opinions there from Y/N Y/L/N" Jenson says as he watches you turn away and walk off. You were done with interviews for the day. You just wanted to find Oscar and talk to him now.

"Lando! Lando" you shout as you see the curly haired boy ahead of you walking into the Mclaren motorhome.

"Hey, Y/N or should i say Ghost" he smiles before pulling you into a hug.

"I was not expecting that bombshell today, and I will admit I'm sorry for assuming you were some ugly guy... your very obviously not" he laughs.

"Where's Oscar" you ask, you didn't want to seem rude but of course he was your priority right now.

"Y/N, I don't think its a good idea to see him right now. I think maybe just wait for him to come to you. He's upset and" he starts but you look him dead in the eye.

"He upset me too, he just ran off... at my first race win" you say as selfish as it was... but he also ruined that experience for you.

"I know, but you did like lie to him for just under 2 years" Lando says softly not wanting to rattle your already unstable cage of self hatred.

"And what was i supposed to do Lando, tell him a secret that Red Bull had me sign an NDA over and break my contract and risk loosing my seat?" you ask, hoping he would start to understand.

"Look Y/N you really should go..." Lando pushes looking around the area you were currently in. He put a hand on your lower back as to guide you back out, but you planted yourself still.

"No, I'm not leaving till i talk to him" you grunt.

"Y/N I'm telling you this as your friend and your co-worker. You need to go" he says, you'd actually never seen his eyes this serious before and it had your head cocking to the side in confusion.

As your about to ask him why the hell he's being so twitchy, two people stumble out of the next room a little disheveled and both laughing. You eyes lock on them.

"O-Oscar?" you ask in shock, the girl looks up at him confused and his face turns red but also a sour expression comes onto his face.

Before any of them can say anything your turning away from them, everything feels slow motion, all the voices around you blur and your heartbeat comes erratic.

You couldn't understand why it hurt so much, the thought of him not even for a moment being happy for you up on a podium that he come here to be with some other girl ... or was it because in the time you'd spent with him you'd fallen for the racer.

You round the corner, stumbling behind the Mclaren motorhome so that you could just breath. You crouch down, your head leaning back against the side.

"Fucks sake" you say to yourself, once you'd calmed yourself from the initial shock you fully sat down on the metal edging outside the Mclaren motorhome.

"Y/N?" you hear a voice ask, your head peaks up and you spot Alex and Logan.

"Oh, hey guys. Great Race today!" you smile.

"Why are you just sat outside the Mclaren motorhome?" Logan asks raising an eyebrow at you.

"Oh, erm no reason. I just got lost on my way back to Red Bull" you smile standing up and walking to the long strip and turning left.

"Your still clearly lost, Red Bull's that way" Alex says pointing to the right hand side, that you weren't facing.

"Right, yeah i knew that" you smile, turning round and scuttering off the other way.

To say that the UK was the start of something spectacular was an understatement. You didn't go out and celebrate that night, you stayed in with your family.

The next race was Hungary where you proceeded to take the win away from Max in the last 3 laps, being on the fresher tires. They asked you to let Max take the win but you begged for them to let you fight it out. You shared the podium with Max and Lando, in Spa you came second, sharing the podium with Max and Charles and in The Netherlands you came 4th.

Throughout all of this Oscar hadn't reached out to you. You'd kept in contact with Lando, asking how he was and what had been going on. However Monza changed things.

An article came out about an interview Oscar had done about you and how you hadn't spoken to him since. He hadn't spoken very nicely about you when all you'd done was stick up for him. You guys got into a massive argument outside the garages that of course people caught on camera.

You had a really bad qualifying, the car just didn't have pace and your mind wasn't in the right place. So you were starting P14 on the grid, after a cry to Christian that you were so overwhelmed and him assuring you that it was today that really mattered.

You had turned off everything when you got in the car on the Sunday. No thoughts in your head just the racing. On the start you managed to get yourself to P12 overtaking Liam and Nico right of the bat.

"Excellent start Y/N lets keep pushing"

Martin Bundle - I have to say that Y/N is incredible with these races where she starts down in the back of the grid, and she gets those amazing starts where she slips in the middle of the two drivers ahead and is able to confidently get herself up too places

"Okay, and Alonso are ahead, you have DRS" your engineer tells you, and you are able to overtake Yuki who doesn't go as aggressively into the chicane as you do. You have a little spin but recover enough to pull up aside Alonso on the straight, going for the overtake.

"Amazing Y/N, that's P10 right now. Keep pushing"

Eventually you were left fighting Carlos, Max clipped a tire and was now down in 4th fighting with Charles.

"Y/N this has been a fantastic race, from P14 up to P2, Carlos is 1.8 second ahead. Lets get him and bring home a double podium. Max is fighting for P3 right now. 5 laps to go" he advises.

"Tell him to speed up, I'll give him DRS we can overtake Sainz together so its a 1.2" you advise looking seeing the Ferrari behind you. You slow down on the hairpin, breaking early, which Charles didn't expect where he was concentrating on defending from Max. You speed up, watching as he spins out a little leaving room for Max on the inside.

"Okay, Sainz has sped up there's now a 2.6 second gap"

"Copy that" you say, Max was using your slip stream, but didn't go for the overtake, you easily defended from Charles together while gaining on the other Ferrari.

"Okay last two laps, Sainz, 0.3 second gap"

"Yeah i can fucking tell I'm riding his rear end" you say, the minute you get onto the straight you and Max both go either side of Sainz, sandwiching him in as your about to go into turn 11. He breaks early falling back leaving you to take the optimal racing line and get ahead of Max.

"Is Max fighting this last lap?" you ask.

"He's been told is free to fight. Mode push and bring us another win" your race engineer advises, you breeze through the final lap, it was a close call but you came first.

"Y/N Y/L/N winner of the 2023 Italian Grand Prix" your race engineer says a big grin coming onto your face as you flip up the visor holding your fist up as you see all the Red Bull crew cheering for you on the fencing.

"Where did Oscar place?" you ask, you hadnt thought about him up until now. Even as you passed the orange 81 car, it was just another car then.

"Not a good race for Piastri, P12 behind Lawson"

"Okay. Thank you for the great drive today. Thank you Christian" you say before preparing yourself for the podium.

Would Oscar be there?

Taglist:

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#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 x you #formula one #formula 1 #formula one fanfiction #oscar piastri fanfic #oscar piastri f1 #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri #oscar piastri fluff #oscar piastri one shot #oscar piastri series #oscar piastri angst

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summerlinenss · 13 days ago

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Continuing the discussion from Twitter about Taika possibly not being straight, I do hesitate to diagnose strangers with 'queer' because it's usually done by utalising stereotypes (like just him being flamboyant or the latest 'evidence' of him being at a Paris Hilton concert, he seems to go to pretty much everything.)

Without getting too parasocial, the everyone's a bit queer quote from before Thor 4 seemed different though, almost like a soft launch? The dumb backlash was unfortunately familiar to me, as someone who poked her head out of the closet, only to be met with a resounding 'we don't want you'. If he was trying to do that, I dont blame him for not trying since, I certainly havent.

Like i don't think he's a closeted gay, theres no indication that his romantic relationships with women havent been real, but he is from a generation that flat out didnt think bisexuality was a real thing. And the fact he's older and has talked about growing up in a toxic masculinity culture probably has more to with it.

I dunno, i know i shouldnt be think about strangers like this, but some things he's said feel familiar to me

(context for those not on the bird app)

i totally agree with not labelling anyone, and (regardless of how he does identify) taika seems very comfortable in his sexuality, which is all that matters. however, there’s also nothing he’s ever done to make me assume he is straight, if that makes sense?

i definitely took his out magazine interview as a sort of soft launch, as you said. especially since he followed it up with a “coming out” joke tweet. but the amount of vitriol he faced for it was absurd, and it’s still so strange to me how people instantly took his comments in bad faith instead of making the fairly obvious assumption that he was just saying “i consider myself to be part of this community.”

a quote i actually think about a lot is from when taika was on the vanity fair little gold men podcast (around 00:59:45) and got into talking about the stereotypical hyper-masculine culture of growing up in aotearoa, and i feel like it gives some insight into his feelings on this subject:

“I will tell ya, I grew up in a — a pretty macho culture and a very macho country. Where it’s like, you know, you play rugby and, you know, you drink beer, and it’s, like… kind of, life is just set out for you, and… how boring? You know? It’s just, like, you know, it’s like — people are like, ‘Well, I don’t want any immigrants here,’ and then complain that there’s only one type of food to eat. And so, it’s like… you know, that you… want to have an interesting life and you want to be able to — you want to expose yourself to art, and to — you know, to various cultures and various types of people. So for me, growing up, I… I was exposed to that from an early age through, like, on my mother’s side, especially. So it was, like… there were a lot of eccentric and interesting and weird artists and stuff in my life. Um, so it wasn’t, like, a later in life, big shock for me. It was always there. But I think I’ve realized that there are so many ways of being a man, and… and to be… just macho and to just want to be, like… just straight. Just to be, like, so determined to be straight, is… so… sad. And, like — and also is — it just feels so tiring. Wouldn’t it be so tiring just to, like, have to hold on to something that no one cares about? So — so tightly? And it’s, like, look, if you just let go and accept who — then we don’t have to have the conversation. We can talk about more important things. But the idea that we still have to talk about all of this is mad. (…) So, you know, it’s like… I would much rather have the discussions around, you know, more intense, more upsetting things that are happening to humanity than, like, who someone’s in love with.”

#asks #anon #taika waititi

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darcytaylor · 25 days ago

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Nicola Coughlan Bet on Herself - and Won (Time Article)

What a great read! Nicola's TIME interview offers a glimpse into her journey from struggling actress to Bridgerton star, while also talking about how she handles the pressures of fame. From her views on the double standards in Hollywood to the ongoing speculation about her personal life.

Nicola is very candid about the pressures that come with fame. While she’s grateful for the opportunities Bridgerton has afforded her, she speaks openly about the uncomfortable scrutiny she faces. The public obsession with every detail of her life, including her weight, is something she calls out in the interview.

This interview also came before her statement about not filming strangers in public (although it is a possibility that they added this to the interview afterwards), when her location was leaked and she was filmed leaving a theatre. The incident prompted her to make a story about in on her Instagram.

It’s a reminder that her boundaries probably weren’t newly formed - they were already in place, and the incident in New York likely pushed her to call it out publicly.

Some have questioned why Nicola responded to that particular incident and not others. But as I’ve written about before on my blog, the specific circumstances in New York - her location being leaked - likely made her feel particularly vulnerable and triggered her decision to speak out.

Another layer that I think could be worth mentioning about Nicola speaking on the leaking of real-time locations, is the issue that Luke had over the summer with his friend group sharing his location in real-time. While Nicola doesn’t directly address that, it’s possible that witnessing how this played out could have contributed to her sensitivity regarding location leaks. Even if she wasn't directly referring to that particular incident, it's likely she felt strongly about it.

One of the most talked about moments in this article is when she discusses her relationship with Luke. I found it hilarious how she worded everything. She praises her “gorgeous friendship” with Luke but strategically avoids confirming or denying any romantic involvement. While she acknowledges their close bond, she sidesteps the dating rumours, offering just enough insight to keep fans interested without revealing too much. This is classic Nicola – it leaves fans room to speculate, but it also reinforces that a deep connection between a man and woman doesn’t always have to be romantic.

(So, my Lukola shipper followers, feel free to keep guessing - Nicola’s phrasing suggests she doesn’t mind the speculation!)

Another part of Nicola’s story, is the influence of her late father. He helped shape her worldview, giving her a perspective on why it's important to speak out. And why she speaks out about the causes she does.

Although Nicola hasn’t explicitly linked the passing of her father to her views on privacy, it’s possible that such a personal loss has influenced her approach to life, family, and relationships. Losing someone so close might have made her more protective of the people she holds dear and more determined to set firm boundaries when it comes to her personal life.

I loved this article and also the photographs that came along with it! Also - The duo have more intimate moments in Season 4 and will also have something else to manage: Polin’s “crazy cute” onscreen baby. YES!!! Bring on season 4 married Polin!

#nicola coughlan #bridgerton #luke newton

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a-a-a-anon · 6 months ago

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appreciation post for Lise Mayer!! she co-wrote The Young Ones (and The Bachelor Boys book, additional material like when they did Comic Relief, etc), which is well known. but she also wrote for other things in the alternative comedy scene like Rik Mayall and Ben Elton's comedy tour (source: BBC Breakfast Time interview)! and, something I didn't know until recently: she co-wrote/wrote for Kevin Turvey! she's not credited in his television appearances, but see below for sources.

i really loved the podcast episode she did with Alexei Sayle about TYO, you gain a lot of insight into her perspective! she also mentions misogynistic treatment like being asked to go make tea when they were doing script readings, not getting invited to a big BBC party because it was presumed she'd be Rik's plus-one, and getting groped at the BBC bar. it pissed me off on her behalf and partly prompted this post.

some specific accolades/accreditation/fun facts:

Rik crediting her with writing/conceiving the Kevin Turvey non-joke "All right, biting political satire: What do Lech Walesea and Menachem Begin have in common? They’ve both got foreign names! What do you mean it’s not funny?" (x)

Alexei Sayle in Thatcher Stole My Trousers crediting Lise with co-writing Turvey: "Lise was, like Linda for mine, a vital part of Rik’s career, co-writing both The Young Ones and Rik’s character Kevin Turvey..."

a 1987 source for Lise co-writing Turvey: "The assumption that women do not write comedy scripts was one with which Lise Mayer, co-writer of The Young Ones television series, has also had to contend. She started writing for Rik Mayall’s Kevin Turvey in the television series A Kick Up the Eighties..." (x)

Rowland Rivron (comedian who toured with The Comic Strip gang and lived with Rik and Lise) in What the f*** did I do last night?: "[Lise] also had the unenviable job of standing at the side of the stage when Rik was performing, and jotting down anything he said that was unscripted. If it got a laugh, it would be woven into the next night’s routine."

the only time i've ever seen a Rik Mayall/Ade Edmondson/Lise Mayer writing credit: for a poem called Distance which was collected in this anthology! Rik and Ade seem to have acted it out (or at least a version of it) in this 20th Century Coyote performance

Rik on Lise writing TYO: "‘She discovers different things: the comedy of embarrassment and awkwardness – she draws out the cheating and stealing that goes on in the house.’" (x) (Lise also says her "favorite comedy was always the comedy of embarrassment" in the Alexei Sayle podcast)

Rik: "... Lise Mayer wrote this great scene where I find a tampon in a handbag and it's my birthday party and I think it's a present because my character is Rick, who is such a git, he didn't know." (x)

Helen Lederer in Not That I'm Bitter, writing about being on The Young Ones: "[Lise] was known to be the brains behind it all, particularly the more surreal elements…"

she and Rik chose the bands (x)

Lise: “We’d have a table read at which point we’d discover that the script ran over an hour long, and then I’d have a sleepless night editing it.” Alexei: “You did that?” Lise: “Usually me, yeah…” (she later explains they'd present the script Monday and rehearsals were Tuesday, Wednesday-so she literally had one night to edit!) (x)

facts from the blu-ray commentary tracks:

Rick's yellow dungarees in Interesting were based off a picture of Lise in a similar pair

Lise wrote an essay about the tampon joke in Interesting so that the BBC didn't cut the scene (though they still edited it)

Paul Jackson (producer) credits Lise with arguing "you are seriously telling me that we cannot refer on television to something that happens to 50% of the population for about 30 years of their life? and we're not allowed to even refer to it" to make an executive back off about the tampon joke in a meeting

Lise came up with Neil's flowerpot covering in Nasty

Vyvyan/Vivian's name comes from Lise having lived in Vyvyan Terrace, Bristol

Lise thought of the cast switching costumes in Bambi (one of my favorite moments!!) (/end of commentary track facts)

this is guesswork, but i've seen Ben Elton and Rik Mayall's handwriting and i'm pretty sure the editing/handwriting on the bottom left on this script must be Lise's, which gives insight into what/how she wrote: (x)

i feel like it's easy for people to overlook or minimize Lise's impact, something that happens to female creators far too often. i hate when women's identities are framed around their association to a man-girlfriend to Rik in this case-which was the norm whenever i saw Lise discussed in articles/books/online discussions about TYO. it's important to know she was a writer and co-creator with her own identity and (underappreciated) contributions. The Young Ones (and Kevin Turvey, and things we don't even know she goes uncredited for) would not have been the same—or wouldn't have even existed—without her!

#women in comedy are everything to me. lise was the one who did the typing to amalgamate the TYO scripts AND edited them down in 1 night...#women have to work so hard to prove their place in male dominated fields. she deserves her flowers!!#lise mayer #rik mayall #the young ones #kevin turvey #ben elton #britcom #in berserker! ade says vyvyan is named that because he and rik loved Vivian Stanshall #so i imagine lise gave the spelling? which is quite important i would say! just interesting to know the Full picture #also i reallyyy wanna know when Distance was actually written. it was collected in an anthology pubished in '84 #but it very well couldve been written before (as other works in that book were written before 1984 as well)#basically im wondering if Lise contributed to 20th century coyote sketches?? i wouldnt be surprised bc she wrote a lot for rik

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ponett · 6 months ago

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wait, you could have gotten a follow up with Ken himself? did that go very far or were you not interested? i getta imagine even if you dont like his work, asking the man himself about his days on the comic would be illuminating.

I could have. Part of me was definitely curious, since there's so much we don't know about what was going on behind the scenes at Archie and Ken's one of the few people still interested in talking about it. But it's also like... I dunno, I just like to keep some distance between me as a critic and him as a creator. I can talk about his work, I can talk about things he's said publicly about his work, but I don't need to drag him directly into it. It's the same reason why I've never interacted with him directly on Twitter, even though people loooooooove to get into arguments with him about Sonic shit. As critical as I've been of both him and his work, I have zero desire to grill him in person.

Were I to interview him, there are basically two paths I see here:

Option A: I do a totally cordial softball interview, magically putting aside my well-established opinions on the guy from my decade spent running TKP, and use it as an opportunity to get some more insight into the creation of the comics from him. And then what? I go right back to poking fun at him on my Tumblr blog that has his name in the URL? I'm pretty soft on the guy these days compared to all the Sonic fans out there who think he's The Literal Devil, but still, there's no way for this to not feel like entrapment to me. Like I'm just playing nice so he can give me ammo for when I turn around and continue poking fun at his work and his occasional legal threat. And even if I never use anything he says in that interview against him, since I finished covering his Archie Sonic run for the blog years ago rarely have any reason to even bring him up, my audience will sure as hell comb through every word he says to find more coal for the hate train.

Option B: I'm more critical of him to his face, in which case I'm basically just bullying a kinda pathetic old man, who's already alienated most of his peers and committed career suicide, for writing some children's comics I didn't like 20-30 years ago. There is not a single iota of me that wants to turn into Ken's equivalent of that asshole who paid to be a guest on the BumbleKast just to ask Ian Flynn a bunch of questions that boiled down to "hey so this story you wrote sucked, why'd you write it that way?"

It just doesn't feel right to me no matter how you slice it. Ken's not some monstrous public figure who needs to get held accountable for his actions in an interview or something. At the end of the day, it's just comics. It's not that serious. He can continue making his weird little Lara-Su Chronicles comics and putting his foot in his mouth of his own accord, and I can continue being like "lol remember when Knuckles got called a 'proud man-child' at his own funeral" as a side thing to my own creative career, and never the twain shall meet

#dustybins #ask

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redbatchedcumbermayned · 5 months ago

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"I didn’t even know that there was the possibility of a romance option when voicing Heinrix" - Interviewing Chris Tester part 2

We're continuing our interview with Chris Tester, the voice of Heinrix van Calox in Owlcat's CRPG Rogue Trader. In this part we speak about insights into Heinrix's character, how the process of recording voice lines for a video game works, if Chris would romance Heinrix in game, and interacting with his fans.

Part 1 of the interview

Part 3 of the interview

I will publish this interview in three parts over the next week in text form and with the accompanying audio file (the audio quality is not spectacular but tumblr limits uploads to 10MB). If you quote or reshare, please quote me as the original source.

F: So, you already talked a bit about Heinrix as a character. What drew you to the character or what hidden depth did you find in the character?

CT: Well, I hope I found some depth to the character. That contrast between principles or values that you seem to be holding onto and lots of unprocessed trauma going on underneath. Sure, that seems interesting, that seems like a really interesting thing to find. Because you can understand, therefore, the appeal of an ideology, which gives you the answers and it tells you what to do. Essentially, it gives you a role, authority, it gives you status, you completely understand the appeal of that. Just like I find voice-over incredibly appealing and exciting: it gives me structure and authority and the illusion that I know what I'm talking about and what I'm doing.

And then there's the flip side: you could make him heretical in some way, shape or form. And you know, I love, obviously, the fact that he belongs to part of that world which I'm sort of familiar with. Where a lot of the more interesting characters are the ones that have disavowed this God Emperor kind of like status in one way or the other, they tend to have a little bit more going on. They're not two-dimensional villains, not all of them, not all of the time anyway. Whereas on the one hand he's not going full chaos, there was just an interesting tension there to explore. Also, it kind of reminded me a little bit of the Eisenhorn series, which again, it's an Inquisitor that through his pursuit of different things starts to question and use the powers of the warp for his own purposes. A very different character, but still, there are those parallels that I really liked, that fallibility, that vulnerability to a degree, but I wouldn't say too much because I didn't really know how vulnerable or how much of a journey he was going to have in the early stages. I didn't know that until we were recording, I'll be honest.

And I didn’t even know that there was the possibility of a romance option, until we were like: Oh, these are romancing lines. And I was like, you what now? So, sorry, I appear to be saying some quite forward things, from his point of view anyway, that's slightly taken me aback. They were like: oh yeah, you're romanceable, you can have a romance. I was like, oh, okay, right. I'll just think back to the five hours or so of recording that we've done up to this point and pray that I've made the right choices. So that was a bit of a crazy ride, but thanks to Olga, the writer of my character, she gave really astute directions. She wasn't in all of the sessions, but the majority, especially when there were big plot beats to explain to me what the hell was going on, however, roughly. She was great. And also the technicians at 3B. I was working with a lot of different members of the group technicians slash directors as well. And they were great in terms of giving me not exactly the bare minimum details, but the bare minimum details that I needed in order to be able to make choices quickly, but strongly and relevant to the game. So yeah, it was quite a trip.

F: Thank you. Since you have been trained as a stage actor do you bring a certain physicality to voice acting? If you embody Heinrix, do you puff your chest? Are you rigid?

CT: Definitely. I think there's the reason why rather than having a small booth, I record in a room is, that I can explore those dynamics as much as possible. And the fact that I was able to record standing and very upright and taking that space was vitally important. Obviously, there's the action stuff that really helps when you're actually making fighting noises. That's one thing. But I think in terms of real subtle differences to be able to, as well as mic proximity when he's speaking under his breath and that kind of thing, that's obviously incredibly vital, but even the subtle things of being able to have that big open physicality because he is so often so imperious because he thinks he's absolutely right. That was a vital aspect to explore and just being able to be upright and expressive in that made such a huge difference.

And also when, without wanting to give too much away, he's in more constricted circumstances, shall we say, trying to do that just purely through the voice means that it all becomes about the sound that you're making as opposed to the truth of the character's journey without wanting to be, again, too much of a cliche, but focusing on that rather than am I making the right gurgling noise?

F: Were you offered any other character to audition for Owlcat? Or if you could, which other character would you like to voice?

CT: I couldn't say any of the other characters. I do play a couple of NPCs randomly. I think before even I had Heinrix. There's some cockney London geezer in there that is immediately disposable. That was me. That was my kind of guaranteed role. I was like, great, fantastic, because I did the audition for Heinrix and then there was quite a few months before it was actually kind of confirmed. I thought the role had gone to somebody else. As with many of these things, you just don't hear back. If you don't hear back, you just assume it's dead and then suddenly it'll come back up or it won't or you'll see another voice actor posting on Instagram going “amazing session” and you slightly die inside and then you move on.

But in terms of the other characters, I mean, I've met, at least digitally online, the vast majority of the principal companion cast and they're all lovely and amazing and I associate them with their performances. For better or worse, Heinrix is very much my kind of casting and I loved it. Not because he's pretty in a particularly posh kind of way, but that helps. Sure, I'll go with that kind of slightly emotionally constipated. I'm very well cast, very well done, but I think so is everybody else. Throughout the entire game, it's a bit of a who's who, they might not be all household names, but in terms of for myself, the actors that I know in some big parts and some really small parts, the actors that I know in the UK and in the U.S. voice-over scene, so much talent, so that it was just an honour to be included in that really.

F: So now I have to ask you a question from our discord server. Would you romance Heinrix if you were playing a female Rogue Trader?

CT: I think that would be a bit weird. No, I'll just watch videos of other people romancing him slash me. Is that more or less weird? I mean, I'm 42 years old. I've spent far too much time playing with myself already. So, let's just draw a line under that, but other people are welcome to. That's absolutely fine. My only thing, without wanting to overstate it too much, is that I was very surprised that there was anything around any character that I've been related to but as with so many of the other companions as well, that's a testament to the writing. Credit to the whole Owlcat team in that respect.

F: Would you like to continue working with Owlcat in the future in another capacity?

CT: Oh, God. Yeah. They've not made me sign an NDA, so I can say, not name a thing, but there's DLC for one of their other titles, which I'm going to be in, and that's in a completely different world. There's that thing of once you've had one really positive experience with the developer and the type of games that they create. The ones that are very story focused, that's the type of games that I'm passionate about. I was brought up on these things like the Mass Effect Trilogy. You know, that absolutely iconic kind of stuff, and so to be a part of someone else's experience to facilitate that kind of longer storytelling stuff is exactly what I would be after. They've got a great process, amazing writers and I also think that the games themselves look fantastic. So yeah, I'm a fan of that.

F: So your fan base has certainly expanded since the release of the game. Do you mind having a female fan base now? Have you noticed that there is a bit of a shift because Warhammer 40k for the totally uninitiated looks like a male hobby and unfortunately some part of the male fans are very aggressive against female fans.

CT: Are absolutely ridiculous. Idiots, essentially. Because my relationship to the whole Warhammer 40k thing is like, I played it when I was really young, and then you put away your childish things. I'm saying that in inverted commas, that's kind of ironic or whatever, and then didn't really get back into it until someone gave me a book and I realised that the lore was actually quite good, quite interesting, and then actually really good and really interesting, and I therefore have done some novels for them and a couple of video games as well.

But to your question, do I mind? No, of course I don't mind. I'm very happily married and well adjusted, so I definitely don't mind as long as it's all respectful, if that makes sense. Surprise, surprise, female fans seem to conduct themselves with that level of respect or if there is a server which is going into crazy, crazy character scenarios and that kind of stuff, no one's sending me a link to that. And even if it is, it's the character, it's not me, and so that's all quite healthy and good. And I think I'm definitely not in a position where I should be censoring any of that kind of thing at all. I think it's all positive and very, very healthy and everybody that I've interacted with has been incredibly respectful. So, I think that's great.

And I think being able to portray these characters that offer that level of connection is great. We're in a post Baldur's Gate world, I suppose. Not that there weren't other games that did this, but on that scale and everything. I think the value that the games can offer in that. Rogue Trader is hugely valuable and I definitely wouldn't want to censure any of that at all.

F: Yeah, it was nice. I reconnected a lot with people who have this fandom experience again that I had in the Eddie Redmayne fandom more than 10 years ago when it was small, when you have a rather small group of fans and then a very nice person that you're a fan of, and you can interact with.

CT: So people have contacted me via Cameo, for example. And, you know, they've had a certain particular playthrough and then they say, well, I would like you to voice this letter from Heinrix or whatever.

F: That was me.

CT: There have been more than just you is what I'm saying, but sorry, not to say that I'm a whore and I'll just do anything, but you're not the only person who has come to me with that kind of thing. And that's great. That's a pleasure, because it's continuing to tell the story on a wider scale. But also the fact that you can personalise and make it your own. And that's the brilliant thing.

That's part of the whole appeal of a video game, as opposed to it being a theatre piece or a film or something else is that it was very much your experience, your playthrough. You can have multiple versions of the thing that you kind of like one but you can really structure your own narrative. And that's a fascinating thing. You get to iterate on it yourself. You know, if one stage of that is also being able to call upon the voice actor to facilitate that, I think that's a cool thing, you know, as long as it doesn't get too weird or too whatever, but you know, whatever two consenting adults want to exchange money for or time, great, fine. I think that's less weird than getting an AI to do it personally. I think that level of storytelling is a great thing.

#chris tester #heinrix van calox #rogue trader #warhammer 40k #rogue tradercrpg #owlcat games

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lick-me-lennon22 · 7 months ago

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Beatles X Model!Reader Headcanons

(this prompt was requested by the lovely @sugaredlavenderhearts 💕 hope you all enjoy this one!!)

John

John is incredibly (and perhaps a bit overly) protective of you, always reviewing gigs before you take them on to be sure they aren't exploitative or suspicious in any way

he basically acts as a second agent/manager

your career as a model tends to bring out the jealous and possessive aspects of John's personality

despite this, he really enjoys exploring different aesthetics and getting to play around with art and photography with you

he appreciates your artistic side and loves to collaborate with you on creative projects and experimental photoshoots, adding some excitement to your portfolio

you two mesh very well, your modeling skills blending seamlessly with John's own artistic vision

he also won't pass up the chance to brag about your looks and talent in conversation with the other lads

Paul

Paul takes a genuine interest in your career, offering encouragement every step of the way

he attends every show and photoshoot to show his support - and to see his gorgeous partner in action, of course

he'll often coordinate his outfits to match yours when the two of you go out on dates or to events

he loves nothing more than to show you off and wants everyone to see the two of you together

he can't help but shower you with compliments whenever possible

you're 100% Paul's creative muse and artistic inspiration

he's written countless love songs inspired by your elegance and beauty, expressing his admiration for you through his music

George

George deeply admires your ability to express yourself through fashion

he respects your dedication to your craft and you provide him with a deeper understanding of the art form

he loves to offer his perspective and insight on different shoots and projects you take part in, not afraid to speak up when he feels strongly about a creative decision or idea

during interviews, he often shifts the focus of the conversation to you and your accomplishments, beaming with pride as he speaks about you

he promotes you whenever he gets the chance, using his influence to propel you further into the limelight

Ringo

Ringo would be your biggest cheerleader, attending every show and shoot you book

he enjoys acting as your companion at events, reveling in the excitement and glamor of the industry

he likes to joke around with you between takes, using his humor to get you to lighten up and to dispel any nerves that may get to you

he's fascinated by your experiences in the fast-paced world of fashion, listening attentively to every story you share with him

when you're alone together, Ringo loves to take his own headshots of you, making silly faces behind the camera to get more genuine smiles and capture some candid shots of his gorgeous partner

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snowflaketale12 · 14 days ago

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A Brief Timeline Guide to Frozen Books (Part 2) ❄️

Part 1 was introduced last week and covered novels, storybooks, comics, graphic novels, and short stories. Today, I’m going to continue introducing the rest of the books I have 😁

Note: - All the books I'm introducing in this Part 2 are not story-based; rather, they are introductory, guide-based, or making-of books. - It's been a while since I last read some of these books, so feel free to correct me if I’m wrong. - I only covered the books I've read, but you can check out Arendelle Archive's Frozenverse for a more detailed book list within the Frozen universe, and Annals of Frozen for a more detailed chronicle timeline in Frozen universe.

1. The Art Of + Movie Special

This category consists of three 'making-of' books. Most people are probably familiar with The Art of series. There are two books in this series: The Art of Frozen and The Art of Frozen 2. These books offer a behind-the-scenes look at the films, including character design, environmental inspiration, and the artwork created during production.

Another book I highly recommend is The Movie Special. This book delves into the making of Frozen II, covering topics such as character introductions, music, the color palette, and some hidden details. It also includes several interviews with voice actors, directors, visual development artists, effects supervisors, and more.

Note: - There isn't a specific timeline for these books, as they are 'making-of' books. - If you love exploring the making of films, all three books are highly recommended. - Additionally, if you want to learn more, I also recommend the Disney+ documentary Into the Unknown: Making Frozen 2.

2. Guidebooks

There are three guidebooks in total: two for Frozen and one for Frozen II, titled Frozen II: The Magical Guide. All of them provide essential information about the characters, hidden details, and extra character insights.

Note: - Both The Essential Guide and The Enchanted Guide are for Frozen, but The Enchanted Guide includes more details and covers Frozen Fever content. - The Magical Guide focuses on Frozen II without revealing the ending, as it was published before the film's release to avoid spoilers by excluding Act III. It also includes some deleted scenes and dialogues. - The main difference between the Frozen guidebooks and the Frozen II guidebook is that the Frozen books feature movie screencaps (3D art), while the Frozen II guidebook primarily uses 2D artwork.

Another book I’ve categorized as a guidebook is this one, which offers detailed insights into Arendelle Castle. It provides an impressive look at the castle's interior, as well as other locations such as Arendelle Village, Oaken's Trading Post & Sauna, Elsa's Ice Palace, and the Valley of the Living Rock. It also includes Frozen II locations like the Monolith, the Enchanted Forest, the Dark Sea, and more.

Note: - This book was published in 2019, so I believe to avoid spoilers, the introduction to Ahtohallan was excluded.

3. Diaries

Northern Lights: Adventure Notebook is a sequel to Frozen and a prequel to Frozen II, while Unlocking Arendelle: My Treasured Memories is a sequel to Frozen II.

Note: - Adventure Notebook is a book written by Elsa, Anna, and Kristoff during their journey to the Northern Lights, which is mentioned in the novel Journey to the Lights. - Unlocking Arendelle is a book written by Anna to document her journey in Frozen II. This book also includes parts of Iduna's diary. - In terms of handwriting, Anna's handwriting differs between the two books. Elsa's handwriting in Adventure Notebook is similar to that in a letter from the novel Forest of Shadows, though they are not exactly the same. - I highly recommend these two books because I’m impressed by their content; they really are like the characters' diaries. - Additionally, if you're interested in learning more about the Northern Lights journey, I recommend the LEGO mini-series LEGO Frozen Northern Lights. While its content differs from the novel Journey to the Lights and Adventure Notebook, they share similarities in terms of the overall story.

That's all for today. Thanks for reading, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong on anything.

I'll make another post about where I bought all of my hardcover books, as many people have asked me about it as well.

Additionally, I'll probably make another post to share the timeline guide for the rest of the Frozen media, excluding the films, such as the podcast and a few shorts, so stay tuned! 💙

#snowflaketale #snowflaketale's frozen book guide #frozen #disney frozen #frozen ii #disneyfrozenii

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freesia-writes · 9 months ago

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TBB S3 Insights [and interview spoilers]

I listened to this episode of Coffee With Kenobi and it featured Michelle, Jen, and Brad answering some questions about The Bad Batch as a whole and season 3 in particular. There are lots of neat things about it, but I wanted to share all the little details that stood out to me about what we might see in season 3.

youtube

So... spoilers beneath the cut!

Omega is alone, or apart from her brothers, for a lot of the season.

Omega hangs out with Ventress (I'm stoked about this).

Why does Michelle Ang say it was surprising and shocking that it had to end after 3 seasons?

They workshopped different ways to end it, and Omega was initially set up with "a large future and expectation", then they went in a different direction that was more bittersweet?!

They talk about DBB voicing a character called “Batcher”… the dog creature? Or what?

Jennifer C: the loss of tech is referred to throughout season 3 as the characters learn how to deal with that hole in their lives.

(side notes from S2) The ice vulture in The Outpost was also voiced by DBB, haha, and they were super intentional with how close the vulture was to the ground throughout that episode.

How the squad embraces or doesn’t embrace Crosshair initially is very true to their characters.

Water dripping from the faucet in Omega’s cell is very intentional to create a sense of time, monotony, etc.

Crosshair feels used and abandoned, and Omega’s optimism is a stark contrast, and we see them learning from each other in new ways.

Regarding Fennec Shand - bounty hunters were a particular part of the storyline; Jen wanted to see her with Hunter and Wrecker.

They asked about favorite characters. Jen’s favorite is Hunter. He carries a lot of weight trying to keep the family together; she’s on board with the decisions he’s making.

Jen calls them Omega's brothers while Brad talks more about the dad batch. He says Hunter’s a classic dad but the dad side of Crosshair is interesting!

Tech was the squad navigator; kept them moving and clear on what they need to do. So now they’re kind of fractured and lost. They deal with the emotional fallout throughout the season.

How does it feel to end the show when it’s going so swimmingly? Bittersweet, proud, on our terms, landed the plane when they knew it was the last season. It was everything Jen wanted it to be.

Apparently there's been talk about Omega’s high M count? All they could say… is nothing. But a lot went into it every single time you hear those words.

Finally, Michelle shared that the entire story arc for Omega, and for her as an actor, all is summed up and finished nicely "in about two lines" at the end. TWO LINES?! dang.

#the bad batch #tbb #bad batch #tbb s3 #star wars the bad batch #the bad batch s3 #tbb season 3 #tbb spoilers #tbb s3 spoilers #the bad batch season 3 #tbb season 3 spoilers #Youtube

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katakaluptastrophy · 6 months ago

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This may be something you have already covered, or considered and discarded, but. Thoughts on Jod being trans?

Because it seemed slightly odd to me, that a AMAB kid going to his grandmother’s house would be allowed to play with his mum’s toys. Especially if they’re “traditionally girly” toys, as opposed to being told to run around or given a ball to do sports.

Whereas a little AFAB kid would gladly be given his mum’s dolls by a traditional grandma and told to play nicely and quietly. Not identifying with the Barbies so much as finding them so pretty (especially compared to the Ken dolls that look nothing like him, which he feeds to Ulysses the dog).

And then, two or three decades later and finding that he is now God. He has consumed the Earth and her siblings and made her anew.

How easy is it to change the bits about himself he never felt were right? To remake himself as God in the flesh? To look upon himself and say, it is good?

"When I was seven, you know, all Nana had to play with in her house was some of Mum's old toys. And my favouite out of all of them..." He gave a long, shuddering sigh. "My favourite was her old Hollywood Hair Barbie," he murmured. "I loved her little gold outfit and her long yellow hair. She was the best. She got to have all the adventures. There was also a Bride's Dream Midge, but Mum had cut Midge's hair into this weird mullet. It was Barbie for me." She looked at him. He looked at her. He added, "Not Hollywood Hair Ken. Mum had him too, but he was a creep. I gave him to Nana's dog to eat."

This is what we get when John is describing the "scraps of id" that lead him to make Alecto look like some kind of nightmarish Barbie. The 'id' is, psychoanalytically, the most instinctual, basic part of the self. If John is being truthful here, then he's expressing something very basic about himself and his motivations in making Alecto.

I'm not convinced that we can infer anything about his Nana's attitude towards what toys a child should be allowed to play with. John is probably born somewhere between the mid 90s to the mid 20s, so it's just as possible that John playing with his mum's old Barbies is evidence that his family was fairly progressive. Or too poor to afford new toys. Or just ambivalent about the toys he played with.

In terms of John and gender, or at least John and masculinity, this interview has an interesting insight into what Tamsyn might be doing with that:

the God of the Locked Tomb IS a man; he IS the Father and the Teacher; it’s an inherently masc role played by someone who has an uneasy relationship himself to playing a Biblical patriarch. John falls back on hierarchies and roles because they’re familiar even when he’s struggling not to. Even he identifies himself as the God who became man and the man who became God.

Though of course, to quote a different interview, this is a series where "readers will end up STICKY and GREASY with GENDER and BIBLE" and where Lyctorhood is "a huge genderfuck".

So I think there's certainly scope for trans readings of John, which shift the framework for the way that John is positioning himself in relation to his masc roleplaying of god. There's a number of elements that would have a very different resonance in such readings, not least putting Alecto into such a specific version of a woman's body, and the tension between his own exercise of bodily autonomy and his utter restriction and violation of others' bodily autonomy.

Personally, my take is that John is meant to be a type of cis man I'm sure many of us have met - one who is at pains to demonstrate his feminism, who perhaps finds the boundaries of masculinity confining to some extent, but who is ultimately unwilling to examine how deeply those boundaries are part of the way he views the world and interacts with others. And with John, this is writ large, quite literally: endowed with godlike power, he falls back on the patriarchal image of god. John may go out of his way to tell us that the maternity problem was important to him, that he played with Barbies, that he *cares*, but at the end of the day that introspection doesn't translate into his actions.

Regardless of how John came to his relationship with masculinity, he's stuck with - or perhaps in context we could say haunted by - a very particular conception of patriarchal masculinity.

#the locked tomb #tlt meta #john gaius

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aois-amaterasu-painting · 7 months ago

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Interpreting the symbolism of The GazettE - part 2 - The Guitars

When I 1st saw pic1 I thought - it's the Yin-Yang guitars! The way Aoi is holding his makes no sense otherwise. And when I got to read the interview translation from pic2, Kai pretty much confirmed it for me:

"Kai: Aoi is a very skillful musician, he absorbs everything around him, letting it go through himself and then gives it out, without pretence, with his own sound."

Indiscriminately absorbing all the feelings is the most textbook definition of Yin.

Yin is the feeling, the subjective, absorption, the darkness & the negative (and we will get to what negative means further in the article, spoiler - it's not "bad").

And Aoi says things like this: "Actually, I don’t think (*laughs*). Nah, the truth is I feel." (It's from Guitar Book interview where he is with Uruha and yet again holding his guitar upside down)

The way they are styled - Aoi always in black, flowy outfits that merge with shadows and Uruha always light and flashy. Even when whole band is dressed in black, Uruha is wearing something white or uses a white guitar.

All of Aoi's guitars are black. The snake skin textured one always makes me think of Ouroboros, one of the oldest and most popular symbols of transformation and occult (hidden) knowledge.

Uruha's real name is 広揚 Kouyou. The 2nd kanji is literally Yang and the name translates to something like "immense sunlight"

The rhythm and lead guitar correspond really well to Yin-Yang as well. Rhythm being the darkness that let's the stars (lead guitar) shine.

More from the Guitar Magazine (September 2015) interview translated by @mizmyerz :

"Kai: Uruha is a type of a musician who’s going by touch - he experiences an internal conflict, fixates on it and thus the new sound is born. Reita: I think they both work hard to improve oneself. It’s so interesting to observe how they become similar at one point and then go in reverse at another. Kai: To me, at the very beginning neither of them had his own unique sound, but they were able to find and express it thanks to one another. Ruki: Uruha is very meticulous, prone to theoretical thinking. Aoi is serious and more realistic. Reita: Uruha first thinks of an image and then develops a theory based on it. Aoi's reasoning is very realistic, he always, let me say it, hits the core."

...

But let's dig deeper and talk about DOGMA album.

From the Black B-Pass (2015) interview, once again translation by @mizmyerz (you can find both interviews on her blog and reblogged on mine):

"Uruha: First of all, even though we want to distance ourselves from visual kei, we don’t mind the visual scene itself. We’ve been pushed forward by visual kei, received the impulse, it was like a stencil, so it’s still very important to us, but the current visual scene seized to be attractive. Furthermore, several years ago we wanted to expand our presence within the genre, we aimed to grow and evolve, but at some point it started to limit us, to hold us back, that’s why now we’re moving in a different direction. Of course, it created a solid ground under our feet. Then again, you must bring in something unique to arouse interest. Because of that, when you can’t find a way out, you start looking inside yourself. In other words DOGMA became a turning point for us, since it feels like recently the band itself turned around and changed the course."

The bold part of the quote is best explained by Kenneth Grant in "Outer Gateways":

"There is another faculty of human consciousness, the intuitive or 'inseeing' faculty; one might almost describe it as the fourth dimensional faculty. It is a faculty that appears sometimes in the artist, the poet, the occultist, and in a certain kind of scientist, and it functions also, though rarely, in almost everybody. It is epitomized on the Tree of Life by the third sephira, Binah, the Sphere of Understanding. Not the understanding of empirical things, but that insight into the hidden side of things made possible by a sudden total identity of the mind with its substratum, pure consciousness, wherein all ideas are stored and which under stands, or stands under, the mechanism of mentation.

The faculty of understanding is incommunicable because it has its origin beyond the Abyss, where human laws of logic and ratiocination do not apply. Hence initiation is necessary before the faculty can be activated and utilised. But such initiation is always and can only be self-initiation; all other forms of initiation are false because necessarily inadequate. [..] The Supernals (Binah, Chokmah, Kether) cannot be contained below the Abyss where the laws of Subject/Objects relationship obtain. Initiation denotes a journey inwards and may only be undertaken by each traveller for and by himself. Initiation and intuition are virtually identical in the sense that the journey leads to absolute Subjectivity which is beyond all subject/objects relationships. [...] Those who achieve successfully this penetration of the veils of Binah are thereafter as it were branded with the most ancient and inscrutable hieroglyphics that remain forever undecipherable by those without the deepest Within of Being.

The Typhonian Way is the Negative Way, the descent from the Mother, i.e. the pre-solar source. Its way of attainment is by reflection, shadow, the negation."

DOGMA album starts with Nihil. Nihilism can mean the dissolution or negation of conventional beliefs, structures, or realities, often as a precursor to a deeper understanding or transformation of consciousness. It might involve the rejection of established moral or religious frameworks (heresy) in pursuit of a more profound spiritual truth.

The Dogma lyrics "I deny everything" always make me want to correct them to "I negate everything" and it's rather easy for me to do so because in my native language deny and negate is the same word. I looked up how it is in Japanese and it seems to also be the same - hitei suru.

Yin is the Negative and since Aoi is the Yin guitar I've put the 3 DOGMA songs with Aoi guitar solos (and of course It's the songs that are utterly and completely devoted to the goddess) - Goddess, Wasteland and Ominous in a playlist and listened attentively. The 3 of them really felt like a unit, seamless. A menacing feeling building towards something. The solo at the end of Ominous is the culmination point. It expresses so much pain. Listening to it felt like my heart is being torn open. It almost felt like a physical pain. I snapped out of it and my mind immediately went to the 4 Noble Truths of Buddhism. Specifically Dukkha (suffering) and Samudaya (roots of suffering).

Then I looked at Ominous lyrics:

Sleep…Count me down…Again So I’ll close my eyes As I turn to face you My prayer shattered into ruins Is reflected in your eyes as you spread your wings to fly I see you whirling with nightmares Through a sky thick with darkness Don’t forget That the heart can’t die Don’t forget Really, dreams don’t always mean what they seem True…Dread Sleep…Count me down…Again This cycle of constant change is ominous I fall into the recurring darkness It steals away my formless future and whenever I step forward The sky darkens until I can no longer see I’m killing myself with loneliness and even my screams Won’t bring any rescue Sleep…Count me down…Again"

For explanation of what the mentioned sleep means we are once again referring to K. Grant's "Outer Gateways":

"Ultimate subjectivity contains the seed of sangsar, as deep sleep contains the latency of thought (dream), which appears only when subjectivity objectivises; sleep then becomes dreaming. The final process is one of objectification, which causes the illusion of a waking state in which the thoughts or dream objects are experienced as 'real'. Total absence of objects (as in deep sleep) is thus the total presence of Subject, whose manifestation then appears phenomenally as Sangsar (the Universe). But this fact is lost sight of when Subject objectivises (i.e. dreams), or objectifies (awakens)."

And going back to Buddhism, to quote Thich Nhat Hanh in "The Heart of Buddha's Teaching" :

"Contemplation on interdependence is a deep looking into all dharmas in order to pierce through to their real nature, in order to see them as part of the great body of reality and in order to see that the great body of reality is indivisible. It cannot be cut into pieces with separate existences of their own.

The object of our mind can be a mountain, a rose, the full moon, or the person standing in front of us. We believe these things exist outside of us as separate entities, but these objects of our perceptions are us. This includes our feeling. When we hate someone, we also hate ourself. The object of our mindfulness is actually the whole cosmos. Mindfulness is mindfulness of the body, feelings, perceptions, any of the mental formations, and all of the seeds in our consciousness. The Four Establishments of Mindfulness contain everything in the cosmos. Everything in the cosmos is the object of our perception, and, as such, it does not exist only outside of us but within us."

(From the DOGMA book)

The more I dig at The GazettE symbolism, the more I find, it's a boundless trove of riches. It's pretty common for metal bands to use symbols - some dabble in esotericism only a little, others are doing it for the aesthetic or just because everyone does it. For me, as someone who always looks and interprets everything, seeing such an elaborate and detailed esoteric creation is a huge pleasure. The fact that the 5 band members are the ones responsible for every single detail makes it even more impressive.

They are out there on Tool's level when it comes to combining mysticism and music (if you don't know Tool I recommend you listen to Lateralus). By the way I saw a pic of Kai's drum tech wearing a Tool t-shirt, it made me wonder if the GazettE themselves are influenced by them. Somehow I think they are.

I found Kenneth Grant's works (the author I quoted twice earlier) through Tool's drummer's library on his website. And their vocalist uses a lot of Jungian alchemy terms in their lyrics. I wonder if the Japanese fans sort of see the GazettE like the westerners see Tool.

I did not write much about Uruha but let me leave you with these pictures of him being immense light.

Link to my twin guitars - twin goddesses post (pictures)

Link to part 1 of the analysis

Part 3

#the gazette #uruha the gazette #aoi the gazette #analysis #pbm #yin guitar #ominous #guitars #hearts #symbolism

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mywitchyblog · 2 months ago

Text

Interviewing Hekate About Reality Shifting Part 2

The Awaited second part of the interview with hekate abour shifting i will ask her 6 Questions regarding Shifting.

The third part will be done by you ! As in, you ask her questions (in the comments of this post) and i will select 5 to 8 of yours to ask her !

To Celebrate my 300 followers i offer for the next two weeks 50% off on all my readings so the price written on the post divide it by 2 and you have the price you will have to pay to purchase them.

Booking me :

Masterlist :

Part 1 of the Interview :

The Interview :

"Hekate, what advice do you have for someone who is new to the practice of reality shifting?" (page of cups reversed, knight of cups, strength reversed)

"Ah, newcomers to reality shifting. They often arrive with hearts full of excitement but must navigate some challenges. Let me share some insights for those just beginning this journey.

First, be prepared for some initial emotional turbulence. As a beginner, you might find your feelings about shifting are somewhat immature or unrealistic. There's often a tendency to romanticize the process or expect immediate, dramatic results. It's important to temper these expectations and approach shifting with a more grounded perspective.

That said, don't let this dampen your enthusiasm entirely. Embrace the idealism and passion you bring to this practice. Like a knight embarking on a quest, allow your imagination and sense of adventure to guide you. This emotional engagement is a powerful tool in shifting, so nurture it, but balance it with realism.

Now, here's a crucial point: don't be discouraged if you feel you lack the inner strength or confidence at first. Many newcomers struggle with self-doubt or fear. This is normal. Reality shifting can be intimidating, and it's okay to feel vulnerable or uncertain.

My advice? Start small. Don't push yourself too hard too fast. Begin with simple visualization exercises or meditation practices to build your mental focus. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories.

Also, seek support from experienced shifters or supportive communities. Their guidance can be invaluable, especially when you're feeling unsure.

Remember, shifting is as much about the journey as it is about the destination. Embrace the learning process, be kind to yourself when facing obstacles, and allow your passion to fuel your progress.

Lastly, trust in your own unique path. Everyone's experience with shifting is different. What works for others may not work for you, and that's perfectly fine. Stay open, stay curious, and most importantly, enjoy the journey of discovery that lies ahead."

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"Hekate, how does one's belief system influence their ability to shift realities?" (lovers reversed, hanged man, seven of cups reversed, queen of cups reversed)

"Ah, the interplay between belief and shifting… it's a complex dance, filled with both challenges and profound insights.

First, understand that conflicting beliefs can significantly hinder one's ability to shift. Many find themselves torn between their desire to shift and their ingrained beliefs about what's possible or 'real'. This internal conflict can create a formidable barrier.

However, here's where it gets interesting: sometimes, the key to breakthrough lies in suspending your current belief system entirely. Like the Hanged Man, you must be willing to view the world from a completely different perspective. This isn't about replacing one rigid belief with another, but about cultivating a state of openness and surrender.

Now, it's crucial to address the role of fantasies and illusions in this process. A strong belief system can help ground you, preventing you from getting lost in unrealistic expectations or scattered visions of what shifting should be. It's about finding clarity amidst the myriad possibilities.

But be cautious. There's a risk of becoming emotionally detached or overly analytical about the whole process. Your beliefs shouldn't create an emotional barrier between you and the experience of shifting. Remember, shifting often involves deeply personal, emotional journeys.

So, how do you navigate this? Start by examining your core beliefs about reality, consciousness, and possibility. Be honest with yourself about what you truly believe, not just what you want to believe. Then, practice flexibility in your thinking. Cultivate a belief system that allows for expansion and new experiences, rather than one that limits you.

Importantly, understand that belief is not just intellectual assent. It's a deep, often subconscious acceptance that permeates your entire being. Work on aligning your conscious thoughts, subconscious beliefs, and emotional responses.

Ultimately, the most conducive belief system for shifting is one that acknowledges the vastness of possibility while remaining grounded in personal truth. It's a delicate balance of openness, discernment, and trust in your own experience.

Remember, shifting isn't about forcing yourself to believe something. It's about expanding your understanding of what's possible and allowing yourself to explore beyond the boundaries of your current perception."

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"Hekate, what are the most common challenges people face when attempting to shift realities?" (three of wands, page of cups reversed, ace of swords reversed)

"Ah, the challenges of reality shifting. It's a journey filled with both promise and pitfalls. Let me illuminate some of the most common obstacles seekers encounter.

First and foremost, many approach shifting with grand expectations and eagerness for immediate results. Like an adventurer gazing at distant horizons, they're filled with anticipation. This enthusiasm is beautiful, but it can also be a double-edged sword. The excitement often leads to impatience, causing frustration when results don't manifest as quickly as hoped.

Another significant challenge lies in the emotional realm. Many, especially those new to shifting, struggle with immature or unrealistic emotional responses to the process. They might become easily discouraged, overly attached to specific outcomes, or have difficulty processing the intense emotions that can arise during shifting attempts. It's like a young artist facing their first critique - the emotional vulnerability can be overwhelming.

Perhaps one of the most pervasive challenges is mental clarity, or rather, the lack thereof. Many find it difficult to maintain a clear, focused mindset during their attempts. Doubts creep in, clouding their thoughts. They might struggle to visualize their desired reality clearly or battle with intrusive thoughts that undermine their efforts. It's as if they're trying to cut through a fog with a dull blade - the intention is there, but the execution is hindered.

Additionally, many face the challenge of integrating their shifting experiences with their everyday lives. They might have difficulty reconciling what they experience during shifts with their normal reality, leading to confusion or cognitive dissonance.

Lastly, there's the challenge of consistency and persistence. Shifting often requires regular practice and unwavering commitment, even in the face of seeming failure. Many give up too soon, not realizing that progress in shifting can be subtle and cumulative.

To overcome these challenges, I advise cultivating patience, emotional maturity, and mental discipline. Approach shifting as a long-term journey of self-discovery rather than a quick fix. Work on developing a clear, focused mind through meditation or other mindfulness practices. And above all, be gentle with yourself. Every attempt, every 'failure', is a step forward in your understanding and ability.

Remember, the path of shifting is as much about personal growth as it is about experiencing alternate realities. Embrace the challenges as opportunities for deeper self-knowledge and spiritual development."

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"Hekate, what role does intention play in successful reality shifting?" (three of wands reversed, seven of pentacles, page of pentacles reversed)

"Intention in reality shifting… ah, it's a crucial element, but its role might surprise you.

First, let's address a common misconception. Many believe that strong intention alone is enough to propel them into their desired reality. They set their sights on a distant goal, expecting their sheer will to make it happen. However, this approach often leads to frustration and disappointment. Intention is important, yes, but it's not a magic wand.

The true power of intention in shifting lies in its ability to guide your focus and efforts over time. Think of it like tending a garden. You plant the seeds of your intention, but then comes the patient work of nurturing and waiting. Results don't manifest overnight, but with consistent care and attention, your efforts will bear fruit.

Now, here's where many stumble: they approach intention with an immature or unrealistic mindset. They might set intentions that are too vague, too grandiose, or disconnected from their true desires. It's like a novice gardener dreaming of an instant orchard without understanding the intricacies of cultivation.

So, how can you harness intention effectively for shifting?

Start by grounding your intentions in reality. Be specific about what you want to experience, but also be open to how it might manifest. Your intention should be a guiding star, not a rigid demand.

Next, align your actions with your intentions. Shifting isn't just about what you want, but about who you become in the process. Let your intention influence your daily choices and habits. This alignment creates a powerful resonance that supports your shifting practice.

Also, be patient and observant. Like a farmer watching for the first sprouts, pay attention to subtle changes and small successes. These are signs that your intention is taking root.

Remember, the most powerful intentions come from a place of inner knowing and authenticity. They're not about escaping your current reality, but about expanding into new possibilities.

Lastly, hold your intentions with a balance of focus and flexibility. Be clear about what you want, but open to how the universe might deliver it. Sometimes, the reality you shift to might not look exactly as you imagined, but it could be exactly what you need.

In essence, intention in shifting is like a compass on a journey. It points the way, but you still need to walk the path. Use it to guide your efforts, maintain your focus, and stay connected to your deepest desires. With time and practice, you'll find that your ability to shift realities grows alongside your skill in setting and holding powerful intentions."

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"Hekate, how can someone prepare themselves mentally and spiritually for reality shifting?" (five of pentacles reversed, page of pentacles, queen of wands reversed)

"Preparing oneself for reality shifting is a journey of both inner and outer work. Let me share some insights on this process.

Firstly, it's crucial to address any lingering feelings of lack or unworthiness. Many approach shifting from a place of desperation, feeling that their current reality is somehow insufficient. This mindset can be a significant obstacle. Instead, work on healing these wounds and recognizing the abundance already present in your life. This shift in perspective can open doors you didn't even know existed.

Now, here's an interesting aspect: while you're working on your inner state, it's equally important to engage in practical, grounded learning about shifting. Approach it with the curiosity and openness of a student. Read, research, and practice basic techniques. This combination of inner healing and outer learning creates a solid foundation for your shifting journey.

However, be cautious of falling into the trap of overconfidence or impatience. Many, especially those with a naturally bold or fiery temperament, might rush into advanced techniques before they're ready. This can lead to frustration or burnout. Remember, preparation is a process, not a race.

So, how can you effectively prepare?

Start with self-reflection. Understand your motivations for shifting. Are they coming from a place of curiosity and growth, or from a desire to escape? Addressing this can help align your intentions more powerfully.

Practice mindfulness and meditation. These skills are invaluable in shifting, as they help you maintain focus and awareness during the process.

Work on your visualization skills. Start with simple exercises and gradually build up to more complex scenarios. This trains your mind to hold and manipulate detailed images, which is crucial in shifting.

Explore energy work or other spiritual practices that resonate with you. This can help you become more attuned to subtle energies and states of consciousness.

Cultivate a balanced lifestyle. A healthy body and mind create a more conducive environment for shifting. This includes proper sleep, nutrition, and stress management.

Build a supportive community or find a mentor. Having others to share experiences with can provide encouragement and valuable insights.

Lastly, cultivate patience and self-compassion. Preparation is an ongoing process, and everyone's journey is unique. Celebrate small progress and be kind to yourself during challenges.

Remember, preparing for shifting is as much about personal growth as it is about achieving a specific goal. Embrace the journey of self-discovery that comes with it. As you prepare, you may find that you're not just getting ready to shift realities – you're already shifting your current reality in profound ways."

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"Hekate, can people shift to any reality they desire, or are there limitations?" (ten of swords reversed, seven of swords, four of wands)

"Ah, the boundaries of shifting… it's a topic that sparks much debate and contemplation. Let me share some insights on this complex matter.

First, it's important to understand that the concept of 'limitation' in shifting isn't as clear-cut as many might think. There's a tendency to believe that all limitations are simply mental constructs that can be overcome with enough will or skill. While there's some truth to this, it's not the whole picture.

The good news is that many perceived limitations are indeed self-imposed. Often, what holds people back isn't an actual barrier, but their own fears, doubts, or subconscious beliefs. Recognizing and working through these internal obstacles can significantly expand one's shifting capabilities.

However, here's where it gets tricky: there's an element of unpredictability and mystery in the shifting process. Sometimes, the realities we access aren't exactly what we intended or expected. It's as if there's a hidden hand guiding the process, leading us to realities that may be more aligned with our deeper needs or overall growth, rather than our surface desires.

This doesn't mean deception or failure, though. In fact, many shifters find joy and fulfillment in realities they hadn't initially aimed for. It's like planning a journey to a specific destination but discovering an even more beautiful place along the way.

So, can people shift to any reality they desire? In theory, the possibilities are vast, perhaps limitless. But in practice, it's more nuanced. Your ability to shift is influenced by various factors: your belief systems, your energetic alignment, your spiritual development, and even factors we might not fully understand yet.

My advice? Approach shifting with an open mind and heart. Set your intentions for the realities you wish to experience, but also remain open to unexpected possibilities. Sometimes, the universe (or your higher self) might have plans that surpass your current understanding or desires.

Remember, the joy of shifting isn't just in reaching a specific reality, but in the growth and discoveries you make along the way. Each attempt, each experience, contributes to your overall journey.

Ultimately, while the potential for shifting seems boundless, it's wise to approach it with a balance of ambition and humility. Push your boundaries, explore new possibilities, but also respect the mystery and wisdom inherent in the process. The most rewarding shifts often come when we're open to both our desires and the greater flow of existence."

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jo-harrington · 2 years ago

Text

Standard Operating Procedures 1.01 (Eddie Munson x Store Manager!Reader)

Previous Part: Sales Pitch

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Summary: Eddie Munson's Official Comprehensive Pizza Tour of Hawkins

Warnings/Themes: Reader works at the Claire's at StarCourt. Eddie works at TapeWorld. Fluffy and awkward and a little bit emotional. Slowish Burnish because of reasons. AU where the Upside Down doesn't terrorize Hawkins.

Note: Don't know if this should become a series of Standard Operating Procedures that specifically feature their hang outs/not-a-date nights? Because I have other ideas that are not their Sunday nights that I am also interested in writing. I JUST LOVE THEM OK?

Also minor disclaimer that Reader mentions being from Chicago in this, but has mentioned knowing small town mentality in Sales Pitch. She's from the suburbs, she's saying Chicago but she's from the suburbs. It's just what we do. (And if you're in the know but are suspish, she is not, I repeat, is not from Naperville.)

You can find my masterlist here for more featuring Eddie and his favorite Store Manager, and all of my other random Eddie Headcanons.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

---

"Tonight’s the night!"

"Yep."

"You going to meet her upstairs?"

"Uh huh."

"You seem nervous...you nervous Ed?”

"Really trying to keep my mind off it, man," Eddie grumbled and went back to counting down the registers and ignoring his boss' teasing.

Kyle was like the older brother Eddie never realized he wanted and now, after working together for a few weeks, was kind of glad he didn't actually have.

Eddie had been shitting bricks at his interview. This job was something he really wanted and he truly thought that he would be rejected immediately, knowing his reputation around town. But Kyle was not from Hawkins. He had been the manager at the Tape World at the Muncie Mall and then transferred when he heard that a new store at StarCourt was opening.

And in what was either the dumbest or smartest move ever, when Kyle asked if Eddie had any questions at the end of the interview, Eddie asked why he chose to move to the desolate pit that was Hawkins, instead of literally anywhere else.

"For some people, escape is a thousand miles away," Kyle explained. "And for others, it's like...an hour up highway 65."

Then Kyle offered him a job as a key holder, saying that had been the most insightful question he had gotten all day. (With the added bonus that Eddie was also over 18.)

Even after the official paperwork was filled out, after Eddie got his keys, after the first paycheck was cashed, after Kyle literally asked him one night after closing if he knew of any dealers in town that could hook him up, Eddie still felt like it was the biggest prank being played on him.

(Eddie gave him Rick's address because there was no way in hell he was going to sell weed to his own boss. He might be stupid but he wasn't dumb.)

And sure, Kyle could be a hardass sometimes, like any boss could be. He cared about his business. But he was so easygoing and took care of everyone. Made sure everyone was able to have the hours they wanted. He knew a lot about music and really challenged Eddie to be open minded about his personal music preferences.

He also ribbed Eddie to no end after you, "the cute chick from that jewelry place," brought him cookies during opening week.

"She thinks you're cute too by the way," Kyle insisted.

"That's hilarious," Eddie snorted. "She was super rude when she came in."

"Food beats rude, Ed. She likes you."

Eddie, of course, refused to believe it. He had seen his fair share of stuck up, fake, cheerleader types yanking his chain only to laugh in his face when he made a fool of himself.

So he stuck to the Munson Doctrine. And vowed never again.

When he told Kyle as much, Kyle just shrugged and ate the cookies himself. "Your loss man."

But Eddie kept seeing you around and you kept smiling at him. And then...well, he didn't really know what to make of you. One plus one was not adding up to two. And when you didn’t give up whatever game he was convinced you were playing, Kyle was inevitably there to play Devil’s Advocate.

“Just go and say hi. Or at least smile dude. God, no wonder people think you’re some evil brooding asshole. Kidding. I’m kidding. She’s new in town. Maybe she needs a weed dealer too. Or maybe she likes metal. Just go talk to her. Fuck it, ask her to hang out. What’s there to lose?”

So he took Kyle's advice, and that was probably the last thing he should have done because now he had a date. Was it a date? Neither of you had really specified. Eddie kicked himself when he got back to the store and realized that aside from the agreed upon Sunday after close and Pizza, no actual commitment to a date had been made.

All Eddie knew was, Kyle wouldn't get off his fucking ass about it.

"Ok so here's what you're gonna do," Kyle clapped him on the shoulder after they locked up and Eddie was about to head up to meet you. "You're gonna be really respectful--"

"I've got it."

"--and really cool, because you can kind of be a nerd sometimes--"

"I've gone on a date before, fuck."

"Did you or did you just fool around with someone at the back of a dark movie theater?" Eddie refused to look him in the eye and Kyle snorted. "I knew it."

He proceeded to give him some halfway decent advice before sending Eddie on his way. The advice was now bouncing around Eddie's head, along with every single shred of self-doubt he'd ever had, as he waited outside of your store.

You had smiled and waved when you saw him through the gate, and he was really trying not to stare as you wrapped up your own closing tasks. He fidgeted with his rings, he nodded as other mall employees he knew passed by on the way to the exit, he wondered if he would survive the fall if he just fell backwards over the railing overlooking the food court.

Surely a cracked skull would be better than everything he was feeling right now.

When you disappeared into the back for several minutes, Eddie let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. There really was no turning back now. He was going to be spending the rest of his Sunday with you.

He tried not to smile like an idiot, but he honestly couldn’t help it.

Finally, you made your return and ducked under the gate before locking it. When you turned to face him, Eddie stared and that smile disappeared as he went from giddy to utterly dumbstruck.

No neon, no scrunchies, no stacks of jingling bracelets. Your hair was down and the obnoxiously bright eyeshadow you were just wearing--that he could clearly see, even from outside of the store--had been wiped away.

"Hey, so I obviously drove to work," you closed the distance between the two of you, breaking Eddie from his reverie with a long string of words that, were he in his right mind, Eddie would have wondered whether you had practiced beforehand. "But I didn't know if you wanted to maybe drive and I'll pay for the pizza because I really don't know my way around yet except for home, work, and the grocery store. And if I just follow you and we get separated or something, you're probably gonna have to send a search party.

"Unless it’s kind of near Main Street then I’ll be…well if—what?" You raised your eyebrows when you noticed he was staring.

"What?" Eddie parroted, processing...well, just processing. Trying to figure you out once again.

You looked down at yourself and fidgeted where you stood.

Shit.

"Yeah I know, it's different," you shrugged down at your perfectly normal outfit. A Cherry Coke t-shirt, jean shorts, and a baggy sweater. "I thought...well it's just pizza…so I figured casual—”

"No, it's totally fine, I'm sorry. You look..." Eddie suddenly couldn't remember any of Kyle's advice.

He had been practicing the whole you look nice compliment with the picture of you that existed in his mind: The trendy store manager. Which, yeah did look nice on you, but was also a little intimidating, if Eddie was honest with himself. Those clothes were the same clothes as the girls who lived in Loch Nora who teased him because he lived in a trailer park. The high ponytail and scrunchies were the cheerleaders who laughed when the jocks pushed him and his friends around. All of it tied back to people he hated, people who hated him.

And now suddenly, that wasn’t you. It was a relief. He could look at you and not worry that some sharp, pain-inflicting words would be directed at him.

But the look on your face, the fidgeting, the stammering and backtracking. Eddie realized you were just as nervous as he was.

How many times had Wayne--or even Rick once or twice--said the kind of people who judged someone’s looks before their character were not worth having around anyway? Now here he was, doing just that.

Shit.

"I just wasn't expecting you to look--"

"Yeah," you laughed nervously, interrupting him. "I really only wear that stuff for work. It's a lot. And you kind of have to look the part. I think I mentioned that…before right?”

"It's fine, you look great," Eddie offered, gaining enough courage to stop you from feeling bad because of his stupid nerves and big mouth. "Really. I just...have never not seen you like that. And now—”

"It's silly. I feel silly wearing that stuff sometimes," you admitted, playing with the hem of your sweater. "And I do like some of it. The jewelry, for sure. But altogether...well it's still me. It’s just the me who also answers the phone in a different voice, and comforts kids when they're scared to get their ears pierced, and tells people what's on sale. And this is me when I'm not that."

You shrugged and held your arms out, and Eddie could clearly understand the unspoken "so take it or leave it."

Eddie took a second to process and then smiled again. Of course he would take it. He would be stupid not to.

"I get it," he nodded.

"Really?" you smiled. “Cool.”

"Cool." There was a beat. "So back to the original topic of conversation, I can definitely drive us around but there is no way I'm letting you pay for pizza. I'm the one who asked you to hang out, after all."

He started walking away, leaving you to protest as you followed.

---

There were only 3 really good pizza places in Hawkins, in Eddie's professional opinion: Lou's on 8th street, Pizzeria Uno which was conveniently in the same strip mall as the arcade and the video store, and Domino's. None of which had any indoor seating, which meant the two of you could sit in the back of Eddie's van with the doors open so you could enjoy the nice weather and talk.

Eddie, of course, had cleaned the van beforehand. All of the shit his friends left after gigs or when they stopped for food when he drove them home from Hellfire during the school year. Random empty baggies, magazines he really didn’t want you to see (yet…or maybe ever), and some other questionable things. It all needed to go.

And although you seemed a little hesitant when Eddie led you to his trusty chariot, you happily agreed to Eddie’s plans for the night.

“Sorry, I’m sure you get that reaction a lot,” you said as he helped you into the passenger’s side. “I dunno, van…suspicious.”

“Either that or they’re calling it a rusty old shitbox,” Eddie laughed it off, happy that you still seemed to trust him. “Which is even more offensive. Especially when it comes from my friends.”

“Listen, as the owner of my own rusty old shitbox, I can totally relate. And it’s not even that bad. No holes in the floor.”

The drive back into town was filled with Eddie’s own personal rubric for good pizza along with your comments.

“Pepperoni pizza.”

“Why pepperoni? Why not just cheese?"

"With a coke."

"Do you guys not drink RC here?"

"And ranch. I usually just pour it on, but I'll leave it on the side. For you. In case you like to dip your slice in."

"Of course you're a ranch guy," you scoffed.

"Of course you're not," Eddie challenged. "What's your perfect slice then?" And you went into a tirade that he, quite honestly, enjoyed watching.

Eddie honestly never thought he had ever had such an in-depth discussion about pizza with anyone (except when he got high at Rick’s, but that was mostly one-sided anyway). It really said a lot about you. Incredibly opinionated, but willing to stop every so often and hear his side of things. Willing to let yourself be convinced, let yourself be wrong.

Which he found out as he pulled into the Domino's parking lot on the first stop of the Pizza Tour and you finished off a passionate speech about red pepper flakes and "good parmesan" only to give him the most skeptical look.

"Eddie," you began. "When you said pizza--"

"This is pizza," he assured you.

"I'm from Chicago for one thing," you explained. "And besides that, I used to help my grandma cook as a kid, every Sunday, in her basement kitchen."

"Then you've never had Domino's before?" he assumed, correctly if your sudden fidgeting was any indicator.

So it wasn't gonna take much to make you nervous...noted.

"Just trust me--for today--ok? If you hate everything, you never have to see me again."

"Eddie! I--"

"But if you like it, then one day I'll let you make your grandma's pizza recipe for me. And I'll trust you not to poison me."

It was a risky bet to make, on Eddie's part at least, because he really hoped this wouldn't be a one time thing. But you nodded and he grinned and left you in the van to choose something from his little box of cassettes while he ran inside to place the order.

When he got back he teased you and grilled you on other delicacies you might have missed out on thanks to the "gourmet cuisine" of your obviously superior upbringing. No Swanson TV dinners, no snack pack chocolate pudding, no sloppy joes, no chocolate milk.

"That's it," he threw his hands up in the air, looking to the heavens for guidance. "I'm going to have to teach you everything."

"Stop it, oh my god, Eddie!"

He grabbed your shoulders.

"Have you ever experienced the sweet taste of Mountain Dew," Eddie begged. "A Twinkie! Please tell me the truth; have you ever eaten a Hostess Cupcake?"

"Yes," you laughed as he shook you. "Yes I have. Stop!"

"Maybe you're not hopeless after all," he sighed in feigned relief. "There's still time to undo all that's been done to you." As though homemade dinners were some sort of torture.

When the order was ready, you toasted with your cans of coke and Eddie watched with great anticipation as you took your first bite of a Domino's pizza. You even dipped a little in the ranch dressing--just for him, you explained. You chewed thoughtfully and then took a second bite, this time from the crust.

Watching and waiting was torture for Eddie, sure, but he got to see you scrunch your nose in thought, bob your head side to side along with Blue Oyster Cult as it played lightly from the stereo, stare right back at him and enjoy the torture you were putting him through.

"What's the verdict, sweetheart," he asked. "I don't think my heart can take it anymore. I can drive us back to StarCourt right now."

"It's...good," you agreed and he whooped, punching the air in victory, before he took a slice for himself. "I'm still not a fan of the ranch though."

"That's fine. Different strokes for different folks," Eddie shrugged. "My uncle always says that."

---

Pizzeria Uno was next and Eddie mocked your look of relief as he pulled into the lot.

"You act like spending time with me is some kind of torture," he teased, secretly voicing some of the anxieties that he had been pushing down since you had agreed to hang out with him. He knew, even with a short amount of time in your company, that you were enjoying yourself, that you seemed to like being around him.

Historically, that hadn't stopped things from going south for Eddie though. There was still time to screw it up, if he hadn't already.

"I'm just happy that it looks like they use oregano in their sauce," you explained. "Maybe you do know your stuff after all."

"Hey, don't speak too soon," he teased. "There's a Chuck E. Cheese down the road; we could be headed there next."

He left you in charge of the music again, really interested in what you would pick this time, since you had started with--what he believed to be--the most mainstream tape he had in the van.

"Alright," he cheered as he stepped out of the shop and heard the shredding of Quiet Riot over the sounds of kids running around as they got dropped off at the arcade. "This is what I'm talking about."

"You didn't like The Cult?" you asked, still digging through the box as you kicked your legs out of the back of the van. "These are your tapes, right?"

"What you don't know is that this is all a test," Eddie began. "To see if you have taste."

"It's all metal," you emphasized. "Taste means variety. You're lucky I don't grab a tape out of my bag."

"Am I going to need to start you on music lessons too? Seems like it, since you don't think metal is variety." He jumped into the back and snatched the box from your hands. "Gimme that, it's quiz time.

"Metallica?"

“They’re good,” you nodded.

“Good?! Just good?!” Eddie knew it was better than he was gonna get from mostly anyone else in town, but he was still gonna give you shit for it. “You’re wounding me here, sweetheart.”

“Oh please!”

"My band's gonna be touring with them someday, so if you want to be on that VIP list, you're gonna need to do better than just good. Here," he passed his copy of Ride the Lightning off to you. "For tonight's homework."

“Homework!?” you laughed.

“Yeah,” he shook the tape in your direction and you reluctantly grabbed it. "I expect you to listen to that at the highest volume you can, til your ears bleed. There will be an essay due next Sunday." You rolled your eyes at him but smiled cutely and Eddie felt incredibly smug.

"Fine. I guess if I want to be on that VIP list," you said mockingly. "Tell me more about this band though. Are you any good?"

"You'll have to come to one of our shows and find that out for yourself. But yeah, the best you're gonna find in Bumfuck, Indiana." He puffed his chest out a little bit. "We play at the Hideout every Tuesday night. Not a big crowd or anything. It's just this little place anyway."

Eddie goes into detail about the bar, the makeshift little stage and the single spotlight, and the handful of regulars who probably don't even notice the music as they drink their troubles away anyway.

He doesn't notice the guilty look on your face for a few minutes.

"I close on Tuesdays," you mutter. "I'm sorry. It's one of those things when you work retail long enough, you get kind of set in your schedule."

"That's ok," he tried not to sound too disappointed.

"I could try trading with my ASM," you offered quickly. "Or maybe..."

"I-it's totally fine," he held his hands out. "Jeff's trying to get us on the schedule for the Hawkins 4th of July carnival in a few weeks anyway. So you might even see us there. Don't sweat it."

"Ok. Sounds like a plan. I'm sorry," you reached across and placed your hand on his.

"No worries." Eddie really doesn't want to pull his hand away from yours, but he needs to go back in and grab the food. It's been long enough, right?

When he returns, he basks in your cheers as you find the thin crust, party cut pizza, pre-sprinkled with red pepper flakes and no ranch in sight.

"Ok so Jeff," you recall after shoving the crunchy corner piece into your mouth. "You mentioned him before. Working on his confidence, right?"

"Yeah, not everyone can be as naturally charismatic as yours truly," he brags.

"Uh huh," you deadpanned. "Charismatic."

"You wound me, my lady. But yeah, Jeff used to jam with us...with the band from time to time. He's part of this club at school with me, and then..." Eddie pauses. "Well, then the band pretty much broke up last summer. I mean...we did break up. And it sucked because we'd been playing together for years.

"I was...kind of in a bad place. But Jeff said he could take over rhythmic guitar. Thus Corroded Coffin 2.0 was born. And I noticed he needed to build up his confidence more so I let him front every now and again. And he got his friend Dave on Bass, but it wasn't that hard to convince him, he's been worshiping Geddy Lee for years. And then Gareth on drums, which he said he could play pretty good, but the little shit was actually in an orchestra and played timpani.

"Can you believe it? What the fuck even is a timpani? Had us all fooled too, until we started practicing Hot for Teacher and he could barely keep up. But he's a lot better now, and like...he's stupidly good. Better than Mick ever was."

Eddie gets caught up for a second as he says a name he hasn't uttered for an entire year, after he told his childhood best friend he could go fuck himself.

Grow the fuck up Ed. This band was just some fun, it was never gonna get us out of Hawkins.

It wasn't gonna get Mickey out of Hawkins, because he already left. But it was gonna get Eddie out. It had to.

You clear your throat awkwardly, and Eddie appreciates you not bringing up the pain that he couldn't hide very well yet, the wound obviously too fresh.

"So, your club at school," you began instead. "Do you take classes nearby?"

Fuck. Well...if he hadn't scared you away yet, this might do it.

"You...could say that," Eddie hesitated. "I, um, am still at Hawkins High."

He watched all of the thoughts run clearly behind your eyes like they did when nearly everyone else found out he had failed senior year again. He had heard all of the whispers, the fake politeness. Some people weren't as polite and just said it out loud.

Eddie the Failure. Eddie the Idiot. Eddie the Freak.

"Oh, well shit, if I knew you were still in high school." Eddie looked away from you, unable to deal with seeing the disgust in your eyes. "I mean, Tape World is your first job right? Duh. I mean...Jimmy just got his first job too, god...how did I not...Ok. I should have asked. You do look a lot older than 16 though."

Eddie's head immediately snapped back to yours. You thought--

"I'm not...not 16," Eddie coughed awkwardly. "I'm 19. 20 in October."

"Wh--"

"I'm repeating senior year," he explained, still waiting for the penny to drop, for you to start laughing at him. "For a second time, actually."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Hey listen." Eddie steeled himself for the words he knew were coming. This has been fun but I'm a serious adult and don't want to hang out with someone who failed high school twice. Let alone date them. "Everyone learns at their own pace and yeah school sucks."

What?

"Is that like...any different than the kids who repeat kindergarten though?" You laughed, trying to lighten the mood. "My cousin Doug actually had to repeat kindergarten twice because he couldn't handle it and now he's running for Mayor back home. It's all relative."

Eddie was looking at you like you were the freak now.

"You don't care?" he asked.

"Not...particularly," you shrugged. "Do you...mind that I don't care? Is that weird?"

No one else wanted him around after he failed the first time. He believed. Let alone this second time.

Aside from his buddies who were still in high school. Wayne and Rick told him he could take the time he needed to finish up school...or get his GED, whichever made him happy. It didn't matter to them. And Kyle didn't really seem to mind either.

Would Eddie care if the tables were turned? Probably not. So why should it be weird if you didn't care.

"No," he finally answered. "It's...thank you for saying that. Everyone...is kind of shitty when they find out."

"Are they shitty because they find out?" you ask sagely. "Or are they just shitty to begin with? You don't want people like that around anyway."

No, he definitely did not.

---

It was dark by the time you got to Lou's. The dinner rush in full swing. Eddie suggested going somewhere else since the lot was small and already pretty full. You agreed but hopped out of the van before he could, insisting on paying.

"I'm trying to be a gentleman," Eddie protested, grabbing onto your arm before you could leave, trying to at least grab your wallet out of your hand if not stop you altogether. "My uncle would kill me if he knew I let you pay for dinner."

"You already paid for two pizzas, let me get this one!" You quickly pinched the skin on his wrist and he let you go, looking shocked and betrayed that you would stoop so low. "With two brothers and a bunch of cousins, you gotta think on your feet. Pick out some music. I have tapes in my bag too. You can snoop, I don't care."

The passenger door slammed shut and Eddie at least waited until you got into the shop before he grabbed your purse, unable to help himself since you gave him permission.

Rush, Moving Pictures. Dave would love you. Styx, Paradise Theater. Not really his thing but passable. The Smiths. Billy Joel. The 5th Dimension? Pass. Pass. Pass.

Ok so this is what you meant by variety.

He popped the tape out of your walkman. Boston. Ok he could get behind it.

He popped it into the stereo and winced as it skipped and dropped out, Brad Delp's voice warping every now and again. He wondered if "Hitch a Ride" was your favorite--interesting--or if the wear and tear was just bad on the whole tape. Very interesting.

Eddie ejected the tape and put it back into your walkman. Maybe something lighter, something with more meaning.

He twiddled his fingers for a second, about to reach for the box of tapes, before turning his attention to the glovebox and popping it open.

It honestly was the one spot he didn't worry about cleaning. The guys knew the glove box was off-limits. It was filled with the usual shit: napkins, vehicle registration, condoms, a forgotten joint that was hastily put out and thrown in that one time Callahan caught him and the guys parked up by the quarry. And then at the very back, rubber banded together, a couple of cassettes.

The Monkee's Greatest Hits and More Greatest Hits.

You had inadvertently shared something with Eddie by letting him see your tapes, and now Eddie could share something with you.

Besides, you had both been sharing all night, whether you had planned to or not.

Was this a good idea though? It was a heavy topic, these tapes were something he typically would listen to on his own when he couldn't make it over to Rick's to listen to the records he had stashed there, no room for them in the trailer with all of his amps and other shit. He had gotten the tapes last year, after his falling out with Mick and the guys and...

Ugh don't think about that.

Well, if you hadn't been scared away yet, you probably would be now. No better way to end a first date than with some tears right?

"Edward I-dont-know-your-middle-name Munson," you exclaimed as you pulled the door open. "Why didn't we start here? Pizza by the slice and cannoli? I would say that I get to choose where we go next time, but I don't know what else there is, so I guess I have to trust you." You shoved the boxes at him as you climbed in.

"Gotta end the night on a high note sweetheart," he explained. "And next time?" He grinned cheekily.

"Yeah we're having a great time," you shrugged and took the boxes back once you were situated. "I'm having a great time, at least. Except for the part where you made me think I was spending the day with a literal child and gave me a stroke--"

"You did that to yourself," he chuckled and started driving. "But yes, I'm having a great time too. Except when you told me you've never had Chef Boyardee. I took that kind of personally."

"So did you snoop or what?" you asked as you spotted the tapes in his lap. "What are we listening to?"

He passed them over to you and took a breath.

"Oh cool, I love Daydream Believer," you nod and put the cassette in the stereo only for that exact song to start playing. You looked at Eddie in shock. "Shut up."

"It was my mom's favorite song," he explained. "I listen to it whenever...I need her with me. The whole album actually."

"Oh shit," you muttered. "Eddie, I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? I'm the one bringing up heavy shit when we're supposed to be having a good time." He scratched at the back of his neck. "I've kind of been stepping in it all night, haven't I?"

"No," you shook your head. "No, you've been sharing things with a friend. Important things."

"Right."

"And here I thought I was the one stepping in it," you admitted. "Maybe I have been if you need your mom's strength to finish this night out with me."

"Absolutely not," Eddie disagreed, laughing. "Listen, if anything, this is her stamp of approval. If you love Daydream Believer, she would have loved you. Dumped me off on the side of the road and you two would have driven down Highway 77 singing it at the top of your lungs together."

"Not you too?"

"I mean, yeah, but she used to drive this two-door car, and I would be too tall for the backseat now, but she wouldn't let a guest sit in back, so I would just be stranded."

Eddie started telling you about her as he drove. How she taught him how to play guitar, how she was an absolute sweetheart, how she did everything she could to protect him and take care of him, both when his dad was around and then once he was--thankfully--sent away. How she was hesitant to start dating Rick, and then hesitant again to let Rick meet him.

He got around to talking about Wayne and Rick a bit too, how they did their best to raise him once she was gone. How he knows it wasn't easy--it still isn't--but he did what he could now to make it up to them.

"Except finish school, apparently," he said in a self-deprecating way that had you tutting at him.

He finished his story by the time he made it to the destination, which just so happened to be Lover's Lake--Rick's house, more specifically, although the house was dark and locked up as Rick was out on business. Eddie backed the van up Rick's driveway so you could have a view of the lake from the back as you ate.

"Well thank you for sharing that with me, Eddie," you began as you settled into the back of the van. "That's...yeah that isn't easy to share with someone new. And it all sucks; it sucks, and you don't deserve that, but I'm sure your mom is still here with you."

"Yeah she is," he agreed. He's proud that he made it through without crying. "She's my angel."

He didn't believe in the divine. But he believed in his mom.

"She is," you smiled brightly and stared at him for a moment. You then turned and surveyed your surroundings. "This is nice, where are we?"

"Lover's Lake," Eddie answers offhandedly, then realizes his mistake as your head pops back and you look at him with wide eyes. "Not that I...that's just what it's called because it's shaped like a heart!

"Not that I wouldn't, because you look...but not that I would because this is just...we're just hanging out. This isn't a date or anything. Right?"

Fuck.

Kyle was not gonna let him hear the end of this.

Eddie was so caught up in his own misery that he missed the disappointed fall of your expression.

"No, that's fine, I get it," you chuckled lightly. "It's still really nice. We don't really have something like this back home. Well, the lake lake, and there are like...forest preserves, but it's not...nature, you know? Not like this."

"Furthest out of Hawkins I've ever been is Indianapolis," Eddie admitted. "So no, I guess I don't."

"Well I've never even been to Indianapolis and never left Illinois before coming here," you explained. "So I guess we're in the same boat. Maybe I'll get to show you where I'm from some day. Show you a real pizza tour."

"Hey, don't knock Lou's 'til you try it," Eddie teased.

"Thank you Eddie, tonight's been really great," you said sincerely.

"It has, hasn't it," he agreed. "So next Sunday?"

"Yeah?" you laugh. "What do you have in mind?"

You started eating as you discussed plans for the next weekend, and more talk of music as it's now Eddie's turn to give you shit for the tapes you had with you. You mentioned a few things about your own family, not going nearly as in-depth as Eddie did about his mother, but enough for him to get the gist.

And then Eddie opened the box of cannoli you had gotten and handed one to you, before taking one of his own.

"To new friends and Sunday nights," he offered as a toast.

"New friends and Sunday nights," you repeated.

---

Next Part: Standard Operating Procedures 1.02

Should I do a tag list? Does anyone want that? DM me or send me an ask if you wanna be tagged...idk.

#Eddie munson fluff #Eddie munson imagine #Eddie munson headcanon #Eddie munson x reader #stranger things imagine #stranger things drabble

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