#it was actually kinda difficult choosing who to put where

[pied-pipers-assistant]

instead of finishing art i’m making shit posts 😴

i think i’m funny 💀

[doberbutts]

There's also this Gamer Behavior (derogatory) where I see these folks going off the rails about having a meltdown because of something that is 100% optional.

Taash exists as a nonbinary romance option. They have optional side quests regarding their exploration of their nonbinary identity. You 100% do not have to do any of this and can in fact ignore Taash 99% of the time and the worst that will happen is MAYBE not getting the exact ending you wanted from the final battle. Maybe. Because you don't have to send Taash at all if you make other character choices.

But cue freak out over the game forcing you to gender them correctly and forcing them as a romance onto you etc etc. I did not romance Taash and found it quite easy to not pursue that option actually. I did do their character side quests but only because if I'm paying that much money for a game I'm doing alllllll the things including the optional stuff.

You have the option of top surgery scars and colored hair and more in the character creator. You can just as easily not have these things on your character and instead look like something else. You do not need to put any character traits on your character that you don't want to.

But cue freak out about normalizing mental illness and transgender traits and SJW aesthetic. It's woke now. Top surgery scars are by default turned off and you have to locate it within the menu and then press buttons to turn them on. Somehow that is seen as forcing them onto the player.

You have the option of romancing a man and a nonbinary character as Yasuke. To be entirely clear there are also women available for Yasuke and in order to romance the other two you have to like, deliberately put forth effort into chasing them. This is not a Gale BG3 situation where being mildly nice to him turns him into an incel that refuses to leave you alone- it very clearly lays out that if you choose these options this character will take it as pursuit of a romance. The easiest option is to simply not do that.

But cue freak out about how Ubisoft is forcing the gay agenda on you and making you be gay and witness gay things. You literally do not have to do this. There's even a setting which you can turn off romance options entirely. If it bothers you that much, you can skip over it completely, or go kiss a different person besides either of the queer romances.

Within the game itself you don't really have to play as Yasuke outside of a very limited number of quests. You can actually play entirely as Naoe and ignore that Yasuke exists for the bulk of the game. Naoe is the much more Assassin's Creed style character as she relies heavily on stealth tactics and does poorly when outnumbered and surrounded (ask me how I know lmao) compared to Yasuke who is much more an Eivor situation of a wrecking ball in combat but sucks at parkour and stealth.

But cue freak out about how these guys think it's stupid that a 6ft tall black dude built like a wall of muscle would be in a stealth game. Yeah uh the game actually tells you straight up that if you want to do stealth you need to be Naoe because Yasuke kinda doesn't blend in. "How is this guy standing on rooftops not being seen" he actually goes get spotted and quite readily on every difficulty except the easiest because the man is 6 feet tall with nearly jet black skin and that sort of is a bit out of place in a setting like idk feudal Japan. You can switch between them- so once the game opens up and gives you the option you genuinely can just ignore Yasuke if you want to play as the series-typical assassin instead of the RPG tank.

Really the problem is that these Gamers (derogatory) have a difficult time with "other people besides you like playing these games" because they already have what they are asking for but they're mad that there is the option to do something they specifically dislike.

[sublimerences]

In light of Eitaku/Aotsumi somewhat like kinda sorta really getting confirmed to some degree, I kind of want to yap about how crazy they both are

(Warning for Spoilers + discussion surrounding the Prologue, True, Multiple Eitos, and Goodbye Eito Routes Below)

Like, where do you begin here? They’re practically made for each other, Takumi killing him [and absorbing his hemoanima] in route 0 was /the/ damning act that bound them together for every reset thereafter. They bring out the absolute best and worst in each other, and prove that they both, deep down, lack the strength to carry out their convictions despite the gravity that they’re treated with. They both possess qualities that, at a surface level, seem completely at odds with their respective goals.

Takumi is, as we know, majorly invested in saving everyone — he takes on this savior/martyr role where he shoulders basically every act that requires judgement some way or another, including everyone’s burdens and the continued war effort. He is so deeply entrenched in the belief that if no one else does it, he has to, to the point of actually being pretty brutal about it; in these positions where he has to make increasingly difficult decisions, he’s the one who has to choose the most pragmatic options — even if it directly leads to others, and often himself, getting hurt — for the sake of survival, to make it to the end of the 100 days.

Really, there’s a sort of resignation to Takumi’s character where he actually ends up being pretty complicit to [often needless] violence when the situation “calls for it” (ie. Eva getting repeatedly tortured). He’s not usually in a position where he protests wrongs (even if he internally disagrees with them), instead seeing the war (and by extension the violence associated with it) as an inevitability — an immutable factor. He’s more on the reactive side than proactive. If given the mullen, he will bite it, often unquestioningly. Takumi is a character that changes drastically depending on the choices that are made, but I’d argue on an overarching level that it’s the possibilities that he considers that really define him as a character. Everyone knows that Eito’s skill names (judge, jury, and executioner) reflect him on a personal level, but Takumi is put in the same position time and time again, as well. (Notably, Takumi’s foreknowledge and past experiences do have the tendency to inhibit his ability to make sound judgement — there’s a reason that court of law deems evidence of other unrelated crimes inadmissible because it interferes in judging the here-and-now).

* One of my favorite aspects of the Multiple Eitos route is Takumi’s tangible shift in thought process — from “Why didn’t I choose to spare him?” to “Why did I let him live in the first place?” I like how the true route sort of pushes that further, in the way it encourages you to take certain options (choose Kyoshika, to help Nozomi and Kurara reconcile, and because she has additional dialogue that makes her death seem less cruel and more willing; choose Gaku because he is vital to learning more information; let Shouma kill Eva because it is vital to learning more information and because Eva is an ‘uncontrollable and unstable variable’ not worth investing in any longer). He’s so viciously pragmatic at times — a true “Whatever it takes” mindset (and showcase of his circular reasoning).

On the other hand, there’s Eito, who lands on the opposite side of the spectrum with this “Hell is other people”-oriented worldview (a fallacy of mind projection). He hates humanity with a passion, he believes himself fully righteous having been given the ability to see humanity for what it really is, and thus he feels justified in carrying out the extermination of all of humanity. There is an emotional core to his ideals despite him initially presenting cold, harsh logic and cunning — the fact that he grew up isolated from the world around him, in reality wanting companionship but being unable to trust in it both due to his affliction, being alone in his affliction, and the evidence he bases his logical argument around (the books that he read). Even then, the books themselves end up being a supplement to his lack of human connection, a grasp for some sort of understanding — for something to reaffirm the world he views on an outward level so as to justify it(s) (and his) existence. With Eito, there’s a repeated motif surrounding him about what it means to be defective, a glitch, an aberration, an uncontrollable variable that’s (as stated later on by Sirei) not meant to be there — something that Eito protests long before the nature of his exact existence is revealed. It’s clearly a doctrine that he is intimately familiar with having grown up more or less confined to a hospital after his own parents — who are supposed to be the very epitome of unconditional love (which extends to forgiveness) — gave up on him, leading to his inability to comprehend it.

I should say, the intriguing part about Takumi to Eito is that by the first reset, Takumi has effectively made himself an outlier just as Eito has been; it’s the fact that Takumi has the option (and is narratively compelled) to give Eito not just a second chance, but a third chance, at living and proving himself despite having multiple timelines (as a testament to his ability to be irredeemably reprehensible) stacked against him. Would I call it unconditional love, per se? Not really. But it is this idea that, in spite of all of Eito’s faults and his standing as a variable that is technically illogical to keep around during a war that begs vicious and inhumane pragmatism, Eito has a right to exist. It’s this that has him opening up his world just enough to let the Special Defense Unit exist beyond a generalization — or to at least entertain the idea of it.

* On a semi-unrelated tangent, the choice to have Eito literally rip out his eyes and replace his previously clear-viewed lenses with tinted frames is absolutely interesting thematically; although there is the aforementioned emotional point in his worldview, he tends to operate on a sort of unrelenting vicious logic when it comes to humanity that leaves little to no room for stragglers. He places a lot of value in his judgement and where he stands so as to make [what he perceives to be] the correct choices both strategically and when it comes to justice and comeuppance. He puts an insane amount of pride in his ability to ‘see clearly’, so both the fact that he willingly discards that and sees it as absolutely necessary to trust the others as his comrades goes to show that he believes himself to be impeding on his judgement to take that leap.

That said, Eito’s perspective, while very extremist, is absolutely a necessary counterbalance to the war effort and the predatory nationalism of the Last Defense Academy. Takumi states time and time again that he dreads learning new truths, often wishing he never learnt them at all. Eito, on the other hand, actively searches for the harsh reality of the aforementioned war effort even if it comes from a place of bad faith. Just the introduction of skepticism goes a long way, and it’s that that allows the others to humanize the Futurans instead of giving in to the rampant propaganda presented by the Academy. At the end of the day, it’s about reaching this middleground: “humanity can be terrible, we have been made to do something terrible for the sake of survival, but that doesn’t define our future — we can take the initiative to right the wrongs of our predecessors.”

Anyways, when it comes to Eitaku, there’s a definite push-and-pull dynamic here. They have the mutual ability to bring out the best in each other just as they have the ability to bring out the absolute worst. As stated, a defining part of Eito’s character is his need for autonomy and control when the circumstances of his birth were outside of it (control is a facet of Takumi’s character, albeit in a different way — ‘Its your future!’). By killing Eito, Takumi is both corroborating Eito’s cynicism regarding humanity and completely removing his agency — his opportunity to redeem himself.

In ways of the former, it’s about bringing each other to the very brink of hate-filled insanity as a twisted form of companionship (Eito absolutely sees Takumi as his nemesis, but up until then was seen more like a roadblock to work around for Takumi. Multiple Eitos revolves around actualizing the former until it’s mutual. This, in itself, is a form of understanding. For Takumi, dropping down to Eito’s level; for Eito, radicalizing Takumi up to his). As for the latter, the Multiple Eitos Route is exactly about repaying that in kind (literally taking over Takumi’s body, denying him the ability to save his friends, making his time-traveling escapades effectively moot).

What’s neat about Multiple Eitos is that it is technically a foil to Goodbye Eito and the True Route. While Multiple Eitos showcases Takumi’s capacity to be rationally cruel to the point of irrationality, the latter routes are case studies in Eito’s ability to display genuine kindness (it’s so important to Goodbye Eito that it’s children that Eito encounters in the perimeters, especially when there’s both a certain sort of childishness to his ideals, and the fact that he killed whomever tried to befriend him as a child; he is given the opportunity to perpetuate the cycle of hatred and isolation he suffered as a child but chooses not to, encouraging them to find community. In a way, the true route encompasses ideas of breaking such cycles, Takumi doing a similar thing when he and the group voluntarily accepts death to stop the massacre of the Futurans — when Nozomi chooses kindness by reaching out to them in spite of the tragedy of her situation).

Tldr; I guess what it really boils down to; I can fix him… or I can make him worse.

[agaypanic]

I would love if you could do a Chase Davenport x reader where the team is on a mission and part of it involves keeping the reader safe in a room somewhere and the whole time that Chase is trying to lead the mission the reader is flirting with him and making him all flustered bc she thinks it’s cute when the very serious smartest man in the world stumbles over his words

The President's Daughter (Chase Davenport X Reader)

Masterlist

Request Something!

Summary: The Lab Rats have a new mission: keep the president’s daughter safe until the people threatening her life have been taken care of. But Chase’s job gets a bit more difficult when you keep trying to flirt with him.

A/N: au where the president is actually a pretty chill guy and not a literal monster. Kinda spoiled/party girl reader. Kind of a white chicks vibe but instead of impersonating you, the lab rats kinda have to follow you around like bodyguards/babysitters. Feel like i kinda strayed from the request but idk, i was feeling a certain vibe when writing this and that vibe is bodyguard!chase x rich girl!reader. Characters are legal age. A lil nsfw but nothing really explicit

***

As soon as Donald had gotten the call, the Lab Rats were suited up and packing their gear, ready for the jet coming to the bionic island to pick them up. Apparently, they were dealing with a matter of national security. Although the issue was probably very serious, they were excited to have a mission with such importance and status.

But when the mission was explained more in-depth, a part of them wanted to turn the jet around.

“Babysitting?” Chase asked with an incredulous tone, flipping through the file that he and all his teammates were given. It was mainly a profile of the president’s daughter, who had recently been getting threats from an unknown group. Sure, Chase knew she didn’t deserve those threats. But he was still a bit bitter about the fact that he was assigned to watch you instead of finding the mystery perpetrators.

“You’re doing surveillance, Chase.” Davenport corrected. “You guys need to keep a close eye on this girl and make sure that nothing happens to her until we find out who’s been sending the threats.”

Chase scoffed. “Glorified babysitting, then.” He closed the manila folder and tossed it on the small table in front of him. 

“Oh, come on, Chase. It can’t be that bad.” Bree said, still looking at the girl’s profile. However, she was more focused on the pictures than the words. “Ooh! That top’s cute. I wonder if we’re the same size…”

“The top’s not the only cute thing.” Leo pointed out, looking over Bree’s shoulder. “I don’t know about you, Chase, but I consider being around a total babe a good thing.”

Adam laughed. “Chase wouldn’t know anything about that. He’s too nerdy. ‘Oh, hi, I’m Chase. I can’t talk to girls, I’mtoo busy… doing… nerd stuff.’” Adam’s half-hearted impression of his brother got some eye-rolls and light laughs from the group. “Even if he tried, she wouldn’t go for him. She’d rather be with a real man.” The eldest Davenport smirked while flexing his arms. Chase scowled.

“Not that it matters, but she would totally choose me over you.”

“Well, it’s a good thing you guys are supposed to watch her, not flirt with her,” Davenport interjected, settling the argument. 

But just because the Lab Rats couldn’t flirt with you didn’t mean that you couldn’t flirt with any of them. The second you were introduced, you had your sights on Chase. He was so assertive, or at least he tried to be. His siblings didn’t seem to like listening to him much, but that didn’t stop him from putting on an authoritative persona.

“Chase Davenport.” He had said while firmly shaking your hand. “Mission leader. We’ll do our best to keep you safe and comfortable, Miss L/n.”

You grinned, inching closer to the man as you scanned him over. Decent build, handsome face, looks good in spandex, all good qualities to look for in a man.

“Oh, I’m sure I’ll be very comfortable, Mr. Davenport.”

Chase let out a laugh of surprise, but tried to seem polite. He could already sense that this was going to be a long mission.

***

And a long mission it was indeed. Three weeks and there were no leads, suspects, or anything else that could put an end to the threatening messages you were receiving. And if it was having any sort of negative effect on you, which it seriously should, you certainly didn’t show it. You were too busy going out shopping with friends and going to clubs. All the things you were advised not to do.

For some reason, Chase was the only one who could see the problem with this. Then again, he was usually the only one to take his job seriously.

“You need to relax!” You giggled, nearly shouting over the club beats in poor Chase’s supersonic ear. He had been protesting your actions all day, but it seemed to only encourage you. “Come dance with us!”

“No thanks.” He sneered, looking past you to see his siblings scattered in the crowd. He couldn’t believe how irresponsible they were being. “You all may have forgotten, but you’re supposed to be supervised at all times.”

You huffed, pouting at the man staring down at you. But an idea sprung to mind and you soon smirked, deciding to gulp down the rest of your drink before responding. 

“You can keep a better eye on me on the dance floor.”

Chase took a deep breath, unsure of how to respond. He had a job to do, he was supposed to be the responsible one.

But he would be lying if he said that the way you were looking up at him right now didn’t make the crotch of his pants feel a bit tighter. 

You soon decided that you didn’t want to wait for an answer. In an act of tipsy bravery, you intertwined your fingers with Chase’s and pulled him away from the table where he stationed himself. With every step, Chase yelled at himself that this was a bad idea. He should pull back, drag you all the way home, and lock you in your room so you couldn’t get into any more trouble. Letting you convince him to let you go out tonight was the dumbest decision he’s made in a while.

But then you started swaying your hips, pulling Chase’s front to your back and guiding his hands to your hips. This shouldn’t be happening, but deep down, Chase doesn’t want it to stop.

“Is this okay?” You asked loudly over the music, looking over your shoulder at him. You leaned close to his face, blinking seductively. “Mr. Davenport?”

“Yeah.” Chase choked out, gripping your hips to guide your movements. You grinned, turning forward to continue dancing.

After that night, Chase became even more vigilant about your safety and whereabouts. But you both knew it was no longer just because of his mission.

[4nicolas]

ROCK PAPER SCISSORS

———————————————————————————————————

satoru gojo x male reader

-you and gojo were trying to decide where to eat but he insisted you picked, obviously you didn’t care so instead suggest a game. satoru agrees but puts his own twist on it.

cw - kissing ig, they’re kinda gay, gojo is bad at flirting

wrd ct - 1600+

this was made with male reader in mind but I don’t think the gender is specified.

this takes place during the hidden inventory arc before suguru geto left.

—————————————————————————

the streets of tokyo weren’t ever this busy, I mean yeah obviously they were busy, but today as the people of japan walked the streets you and satoru can’t help but feel cramped. the two of you were practically pushed up against each other, shoulder to shoulder.

the two of you had just got back from a mission at an elementary school, easily exorcising the curses that lie dormant there scaring the children both you and gojo were starving. who knew saving people could be so tiring!

wanting to get out of the crowd gojo grabs your hand attempting to pull you somewhere secluded, which was difficult because there were not only people in front of you but also surrounding you.

you could feel gojos growing annoyance as he shimmed in between men and women with you being dragged along behind him. you could hear gojo muttering small apologies as he practically shoved these people aside.

it felt like an eternity before you made it to an empty alleyway. “oh yeah, real smart bringing us to a creepy, dark alleyway, satoru” you poked at him. “aw cmon, you’re with the strongest sorcerer, no need to worry babe.” he smiled at you, and you couldn’t help but stare at him.

you felt your cheeks warm up a bit at the stupid pet name he used even though you knew it was a joke. he used those dumb nicknames on you all the time, you should be used to it by now, right?

shaking away your thoughts you zone back into what satoru was saying. “anyway, I doubt anyone would try and mug us or shoot us or whatever criminals do.” you shrugged at him, he was probably right but still, you could never be too cautious.

gojo suddenly clapped his hands together, grabbing your attention even more as if he already didn’t have it. “now, back to the matter at hand, where do you wanna eat?”

gojo started naming places, waiting for you to say one of his listed options. he was counting on his fingers and already listed surrounding eateries. you lack of response made him look up, blinking a couple times before waving a hand in front of your face.

“hello? earth to F/N?” you looked at him before speaking, “oh I don’t really mind where we eat, you can pick.” gojo hated when people said that. you knew this but still didn’t pay any mind to it.

satoru deadpanned you. you laughed at his reaction before sighing, “no but seriously, you can choose.” uhhmmm… no? he can’t. suguru chose last time, he chose the time before that and shoko chose the time before that. so it’s your turn.

he shook his head, almost in disbelief how you forgot the turn system. “it’s your turn.” “what?” he deadpanned you again. “the TURN system. you know where we all choose on different turns. and since suguru, me and shoko have went recently, it’s you turn.” he poked your chest, satisfyed with his response.

you laughed at him, “you actually keep track of that?” satorus silly habits always made you laugh. this reminded you of the time he got mad at principal yaga for assigning a mission to you and suguru when it was “clearly his turn to go on a mission with you” suguru didn’t care what happened and yaga eventually gave in to his demands, not wanting to wind him up even more.

satoru looked offended, “uhh, obviously I keep a track of it. how else will we know whose turn it is?” he was acting like this was common knowledge. you laughed again causing satoru to bounce back, “well how would you decide, F/N?” he crossed him arms over his chest.

you looked at him, contemplating what you would do, and as if a lightbulb went off in your head you snapped. “I know. I would probably just use the classic rock paper scissors. you know, winner picks.”

satoru squinted at you, seemingly dumbfounded by your choice of words. his arms drop to his sides and sighs, exaggeratingly so. “fineeee. i guess, we can do rock paper scissors.” you were about to be shocked by how easily satoru gave in before you heard a “but,”

you raised your brow at him. “-but best to three, loser pays, winner decides, AND-“ oh boy. “-every time we draw the same sign, we have the kiss.” now you really were shocked. your eyes widened at his sentence.

while you were still unable to respond, satoru slyly smiled. enjoying your look of shock and what he thought was flustered but he wasn’t sure. instead of responding you nod, “okay, alright then, best to three.” you raised your fist to your palm and satoru grinned.

he put his hand up to his palm opposite of you before he started counting down. three. two. one. you threw out scissors and looks at satorus hand to see rock. he beat you in the first round.

the both of you went again, going on the count of three before drawing out paper. you look up, seeing satoru also had paper. before you could react satoru chuckles, “well… you agreed to the rules F/N.”

satoru steps closer, inches away from your face. you can feel your body betraying you by making your face and the tips of your ears red. satoru stood in front of you, waiting for you to initiate the kiss.

hesitantly, you moved your face even closer to his, feeling his breath on your lips before closing the distance. the kiss was very short. basically just a peck. you backed away getting even more flustered.

you tried to hide it by jokingly wiping your hands across your lips. satoru simply watches, a shit eating grin on his face at your reaction.

“I mean it wouldn’t have hurt if the kiss was longer but.. whatever!” satoru smiled at you, his eyes creasing in the corners before putting his hands back up.

“it’s still 1-0 you know.” satoru spoke slightly dragging out the ‘w’. you raised your hands back up, getting ready to play again.

three. two. one. you threw out rock, satoru had scissors. 1-1.

satoru frowned for a moment, almost disappointed in the round. you thought nothing of it and continued on.

you both got ready to play again, putting your hands up. three. two. one. you had paper, satoru had rock. you won again, 1-2.

you began to felt nervous almost expecting there to be another tie that forces you to kiss gojo. the two rounds went by fast but all you could focus on was the quick kiss you both shared.

trying to shake your thoughts away, you raised your hands up, meeting gojos. three. two. one. you drew scissors, satoru drew rock. 2-2.

satoru hadn’t spoke in the past couple rounds instead focusing on his hands. you wanted to say something but nothing came to mind, instead you did the same as him, looking directly at your hands.

three. two. one. you looked at your hand seeing paper, and nervously looked up at satorus. rock. you had won, which meant you chose and he had to pay. which satoru saw as a win, he already wanted you to choose and planned on paying.

you let out a small breath you didn’t realize you were holding, looking back up to satorus gaze. he’s staring behind you. you turn around, not seeing anything before turning back to see satoru a few inches away from you, similar to when you kissed.

you both stayed silent, simply breathing before you broke the silence. “well I guess I won.” gojo smiles, glancing at your lips. “yeah, guess so.”

you went to back away from gojo but before you could even turn your head, his hand grabs your wrist.

not expecting the contact, you jump, looking at him. “what’s up with you today, man..?” you question him in a joking manner. he stays silent, observing you.

satoru sighs, dropping his hand from your wrist, disappointment crossing his features. he puts his hands in his pockets as you stare at him.

“what’s wrong?” your voice comes out in a joking manner but you both knew it wasn’t a joke.

satoru looks you in the eyes before looking up. “nothing, just thought you would’ve gotten the hint from that, but turns out not.”

you still weren’t quite grasping what he was saying, clearly stated by your confused look.

satoru sighs even louder than before and looks back at your face. “do I really gotta spell it out for you?”

you blink, once, then twice. trying to piece together what he was saying. how he agreed to play the game if there was a chance to kiss you, the way he frowned when you didn’t tie, the way he looked at you. hell, the way he’s currently looking at you.

as if tiny cogs were turning in your brain you suddenly felt like the dumbest person alive. satoru gojo was flirting with you. in his own weird way yeah but he was still doing it.

the stupid pet names, lingering glances, constantly wanting to be around you. you understood now that gojo liked you.

still staring, satoru started to walk past you but before he could you grabbed his wrist. “thanks for making me feel even dumber than I already am satoru.” you mumble, seeing him turn to you, face still before turning into a smile at your realization.

“well, actually you figured it out faster than suguru thought you would’ve.” ignoring his words you pull him towards you, smashing your lips together.

this kiss was longer than before, way longer. it went on until the two of you had to take a breath. satorus arms wrap around you, yours finding their way from his arms to his face before shaking your head.

“did you say suguru thought I would’ve took longer to figure it out?” satoru laughed, the two of you separating before making your way out of the alleyway.

“it’s a long story, in fact we can talk about while we eat. speaking of which where are we eating?” gojos hand held yours as you walked, unsure of which direction to go in unless you named where you were going.

“oh right.”

—————————————————————————

yoo no way, nick made his first post. how crazy is that. anyway i’m having jjk brain rot rn and really wanted to write. here’s something I threw together real quick. hope someone enjoys it.

[devils-little-sistaaa]

I just love how Nico has such a complicated relationship with camp halfblood.

I feel like someone (either Jason or Percy I think Percy more likely he’s been at camp a lot longer than Jason and has beads that Jason doesn’t. Percy makes the necklace and beads and Jason and Percy give it to Nico together) (I’m sorry Solangelo shippers Will Solace does not exist in my mind right now this ain’t about him sorry). both of them gifted Nico a camp halfblood necklace with replicas of the beads for all the summers Nico missed. At first Nico wears it proudly as gift from two of his best friends.

But sometimes he has to interact with campers outside of his friend group. The way they treat Nico kinda makes him want to tear the necklace off and throw it into the ocean or bury it so deep underground it can never be found. He would never do that to such a well meaning gift from a friend though. The most he will do is take it off and put it in his pocket or in nightstand drawer. He’ll put it back on later when friends are around.

But even when he’s not wearing the necklace. He’ll always be there to protect camp halfblood. No matter what. No matter what he feels about the camp or most of the campers who are not his friends. He knows they’re not all that bad they’re just an intimidated and scared of him. They don’t deserve to be hurt. He chooses kindness.

He is one of the strongest demigods in the world and he knows it. He knows his power. He will always be standing on the pedestal of the Athena Parthenon statue he brought there watching over the valley and making sure all is well and peaceful. And anyone who tries obstruct that peace with be met with Nico’s vengeance.

Even when the Demeter kids are giving him so much shit for accidentally killing the grass or any kind of plant and yelling at him to leave camp cause he’s not wanted here because all he brings is death and bad omens and his powers freak everybody out and what good could he possibly do for this camp and the campers here. Haven’t they lost enough demigods in two wars why is the son of god of death here to take away more of them for no reason other than he just likes killing people he’s just naturally evil and unnatural and he’s a serial killer apparently. How many people has he killed??? Oh yeah well they technically don’t have any real proof that he’s killed people but there are rumors and with as many plants as he kills and with as many skeletons and zombies he uses he’s bound to be a serial killer at some point and also did you hear that all the skeletons and zombies he uses are actually people and animals that he killed just because he wanted an undead army and—

Even when the Apollo kids are invalidating the ostracism he’s been through and making fun of him for being a shut in grouchy old hermit unless certain older campers (his real friends mostly away at school plus a few Romans) are at camp and insisting he use his powers less or not at all because they think they know what’s good for him somehow when they don’t even know him. Or when they’re insisting he stop visiting the underworld (his home. his father’s house. the place he used to live and still visits on a regular basis. the place where most of his family lives) because it’s so dangerous and scary and sad and depressing down there it just has to be awful for his mental health and not to mention the physical trip to get all the way down there is bad for him too and surely he’s not capable of doing that all the time with his “severe chronic disabilities” that he should be laid up in bed in an infirmary bed for for the rest of his life and—

Even when the campers are annoying him and being difficult. Nico will still always be there protecting and watching over them. A lot of them are only still alive because Nico made a promise to someone (Percy).

[slut4thebroken]

Partners

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | Jackson Rippner x assassin!reader

Summary | You and Jackson are paired together on an assignment. The job in question? Pose as a couple in a bdsm club and lure your target somewhere more private.

Warnings | Sexual content, 18+, smut, humiliation, public humiliation, voyerism, exhibitionism, praise, degradation, objectification, face fucking, deep throating, girl on girl kissing💅🏻, grinding, fingering, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, breeding, choking, spitting, ?, lol.

Words | 7k

Notes | Somehow I wrote this in like one day lol but I kinda love it.

Ao3 link | <3

Masterlist

If there’s one thing you hate, it’s working with a partner. You’re perfectly capable doing a job on your own, but your employer said you could either work with someone or be fired. Fired means dead— he can’t have people who know what you know, not working for him— so obviously you chose the former. 

Your assignment this time was simple; retrieve his phone, leave him alive. What made it difficult were the amount of guards he had on him 24/7 and his major trust issues. You couldn’t just walk up to him and start flirting— he’d get too suspicious. Which is where your partner came in. 

The target regularly attends a bdsm club and you don't know how your employer knows this, but when he’s there, he only goes to one of the private rooms if it’s with a pair, not just one person. Which unfortunately meant that you have to play submissive with a man you met only a few hours ago— and not just any man. After your brief amount of time together, it didn’t take long for you to completely hate him. He was cocky and unnervingly charming, but had an undertone of misogyny to him— that much was obvious in the way that he undermined your work. But it was this, or death. So you had to put up with him. 

“What should I call you?” He asked, standing in front of the mirror as he adjusted his tie. You were sitting on the bed, buckling the straps of your outrageously high heels. 

“My name?” You said, as if you were talking to a child who just asked a stupid question. He paused and turned to you.  

“No sub goes to a bdsm club with a dom and is called by their real name. Should I choose for you?” He condescended, making you clench your jaw. Should you just come up with a name you don’t actually use or like? You probably won’t be able to get in character as easily though. 

“Princess I guess.”  

“Great.” He said dryly, making you roll your eyes. “You can just call me sir.”  

“Great.” You repeated, in the same tone as him. 

The drive was awkward. Neither if you talked unless it was about the mission, but both of you already knew what to do. You arrived before the target, so you took the time to get a feel for the place and get into character. While this isn’t your first time in a place like this, you haven’t been often and it still makes you blush. He led you over to a quiet corner, then sat down. When you started doing the same, he stopped you. 

“Kneel on the ground.” He explained, making you clench your jaw, but obey. You know what kind of partnership the target prefers. You have to just swallow your pride and do this with a stranger who already infuriates you after only a few hours together. You dropped to your knees next to him, trying to adjust your skirt so it wouldn’t show anything, but it was useless. It didn’t even cover your ass when you were standing, let alone sitting. You were just glad you were wearing underwear. The top wasn’t much better— your breasts were spilling out of it and it was short enough to barely be classified as a crop top. It was basically just a skimpy bra. The collar weighed heavy around your neck and while this wasn’t your first time wearing one, you’re usually in a deeper headspace and with someone you actually like while wearing it. Right now it was just a constant reminder of the demeaning position your boss put you in. You turned over your shoulder to look at the door, but he stopped you. 

“Look at me or your lap. I’ll tell you when he’s here.” 

“We’re just going to sit here until then?” That would be even more suspicious. 

“No. We have to already be doing something when he walks in.” 

“No shit. Like what, genius?” You spat, growing nervous when his lips twisted up into a smirk. 

“Grind on my foot.” He said, extending his leg. You gaped at him, too caught off guard to figure out what to say. 

“What? I'm not— No!” 

“Princess,” he warned, leaning forward to grab your cheeks in his hand, “if you want to live through this and not be killed by the target or your boss, you’ll do what I say.” He said lowly, making you swallow down a moan.  

“Fuck— fuck, fine.” You hissed and he let go of your face, letting you position yourself over his shoe. You let out a heavy breath through your nose and clenched your jaw, not able to look at him as you lowered yourself down until your clothed heat met the smooth leather. 

You started out slow, tentative, your arms moving around awkwardly, not sure where to put them. 

“Hands behind your back.” He said, making you look up at him. Your hands moved behind your back without hesitation and you internally groaned at the fact that you’re already slipping into that headspace. 

“Good girl, just like that.” He cooed mockingly, making you glare at him. 

“Shut the fuck up.” You spat, even though his words added to your unwanted arousal. 

“Careful, princess. Anyone could be listening.” He smirked, flexing his foot up, making you gasp as your hips bucked toward the pressure. He didn’t keep his eyes on you for long, wanting to instead scan the crowd and keep an eye out for the target. 

“I don’t like this, Jackson,”

“Try again.” You just gritted your teeth and rolled your eyes, not wanting to call him that unless you absolutely have to. 

“I don’t trust you, I want to be able to see.” You finished. 

“Your options are this or sitting on my lap, but I’ll have to touch you another way to keep up appearances.” Fuck. Is being able to see the room really worth him touching you like that? He’s probably going to need to do so eventually, though…

“Fine.” You said, standing up. “Over my clothes.” You turned around and sat on his lap, feeling slightly less tense now. 

“Clothes?” He scoffed, making your cheeks flush. 

“Shut up.” You hissed. His hands suddenly settled on your thighs and your breath caught in your throat. He teased you, dragging them up and down, barely brushing the bottom of your skirt. He placed a hand on your chest— your cleavage— and you were about to say something, but he just pulled you back so you were leaning against his chest. 

“Open your legs.” He whispered against your ear, making your shiver. 

“I don’t exactly want to give the entire room a view up my skirt.” 

“Sweetheart.. they’re going to get much more than that soon enough. Might as well just rip the bandaid off.” You gritted your teeth at the pet name, but still did what he said. “Good girl.” One of his hands started drifting higher, pushing under your skirt until he brushed your core, making you bite down on your lip to contain any sounds. 

“You think I want this too? I didn’t exactly picture my next job being spent feeling up a whore assassin in the middle of a bdsm club.” 

“Fuck you, Jackson.” You spat and he reeled his hand back then brought it down just as fast, making you jolt as a quiet whimper escaped you. 

“What did I fucking say?” He growled, roughly cupping your cunt over the lace. 

“Fuck you, sir.” You said viciously, but the breathiness in your voice took away some of the bite. “You think I wanted to spend my next job getting felt up by some ammatuer?” His other hand shot up to grab your neck and roughly pull your head back against his shoulder as he squeezed. 

“If I were in your position, I wouldn’t speak like that.” He hissed. You grabbed the arm of the hand on your neck, clawing at it to get him to let go. “Now, how about you shut the fuck up and be a good little girl, like your employer told you to be, and stop drawing attention to us, hm?” You were suddenly hyper aware of the few pairs of eyes that were now watching you. Your hands went lax and dropped to your sides, making his grip loosen slightly. The hand on your cunt was moving more purposefully now, rubbing your clit slowly as your eyes fell shut and you squirmed, trying to ignore the fact that you were being watched and this was a stranger rubbing your clit right now. 

“I have to know your secret. What did you say to her?” A man suddenly asked and you opened your eyes to find him and a woman standing in front of you. “My girl likes being a brat but it usually takes longer to get her to submit, isn’t that right, pet?” 

“Just helping you practice your authority, sir.” She said sweetly and if you weren’t in your current predicament, you would’ve laughed. 

“Oh you know, the usual threats.” Jackson chuckled with a shrug. 

“C’mon, you gotta help me out— look at her! Only seconds ago she was acting out.” Jackson laughed quietly behind you and you wondered how he was going to play this. 

“I got lucky— she’s a cock hungry little whore. All I gotta do is just threaten to not give it to her and she fixes her attitude almost instantly.” He said proudly, making you blush as you whined and turned your head. “She gets a little shy. This is our first time here and she’s not used to so many people.” He explained and the man hummed in understanding. 

“Well, welcome. I’m Nick.” 

“Jackson. I hope it works out for you.” You could tell he was smiling through the obvious dismissal. 

“Thanks. I’ll give it a try next time.” They both walked away and you let out a heavy breath as his hand slowed to a stop. 

“Screw you.” You muttered, making him chuckle under his breath. 

“Yeah I thought you might like that.” You took deep breaths, trying to calm down and not let your nerves consume you. “We need to do more. We stick out too much like this.” Looking around the room, you knew he was right. Everyone was either engaging in some kind of nudity and/or intense sexual act, or they were watching one. 

“I know.” You sighed. “Like what?” 

“You can suck me off, or if you want to keep watching the room, I can finger you.” He suggested, making your blush deepen. His hands rubbed up and down your legs as he waited for you to decide. 

“Fine. You can finger me, just leave my underwear on please.” You said quietly. It was almost as if he could sense your nervousness about the situation because he didn’t respond with a mean retort or a jab at you. 

“Okay.” Was all he said. One of his hands snaked up, then wasted no time slipping in your underwear and brushing through your folds. “Jesus.” He said through a breathy laugh. 

“Don’t act like I’m not sitting on your fucking hard on right now.” You hissed, making him go quiet. 

“Fair enough.” He pushed a finger in and your hand gripped his leg as you stiffened. He started curling it slowly and you bit your lip hard enough to draw blood. “Feel good?” He rasped and you couldn’t tell if he was making fun of you or not. You cursed under your breath and squeezed your eyes shut, trying not to completely give in to the pleasure. When he started kissing your neck, you couldn’t hold down the moan anymore. 

“Fuck,” You whimpered, hips grinding against his hand. 

“You like having your neck kissed?” God— it’s one of your favorite things. For some reason, the simple act never fails to get you hot and bothered and turn you into a pliant, needy mess. 

“Yes, sir.” You whispered, gasping when he pushed another finger in. 

“Look at that…” He cooed. “Just a few fingers and you’re already slipping. I can’t wait to see how dumb you get on my cock.” You whined, hips moving incessantly. Even though you knew he wouldn’t actually fuck you, the thought still made you dizzy. When he lightly nipped at the skin, you let out a low moan and squeezed his leg harder. 

“No marks.” You whispered, despite the fact that your body was begging for the opposite. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it, princess.” He mumbled sarcastically. You let your eyes fall shut and rested the full weight of your head on his shoulder as he kept kissing the sensitive skin. He was grinding the heel of his hand against your clit as his fingers curled inside you relentlessly and you could feel your orgasm rapidly approaching. 

“He’s here.” He whispered, making your eyes snap open. Sure enough, he and about five men were walking in. He walked over to a booth and waited as one of the guards spoke to the people sitting there, making them instantly scramble out of their seats for the man. 

“How should we play this?” You whispered and his fingers slowed to a stop, but didn’t leave you. 

“We can’t come on too strong, but we also need to do something to get his attention.” 

“He won’t want it if it’s too easy though.” You added, groaning internally at what that meant you had to do. “We have to be the most desirable people here.” 

“Draw a crowd.” He confirmed, removing his fingers, making you swallow down a whine.  

“How do we do that?” You don’t know why you were asking him and not just deciding. Actually, that’s not true— it’s because you were already so close to entering a head space that you should not be in while working. 

“Get on your knees again. I’ll be right back.” You stood up and watched him walk over to Nick who was watching someone getting spanked while his.. “pet” was working his cock over in her mouth. You kneeled, but kept your eyes on him as you waited. They both looked at you, then back at each other, now with smiles as Jackson patted the man’s shoulder. He made his way back to you as Nick started talking to a few other people. 

“I’m getting a crowd.” He explained. “Just play along. I’ll keep watching our guy and tell you when he’s coming over, okay?” You nodded and he cupped your cheek, brushing his thumb over your bottom lip. “Ready to put that mouth to good use?” He smirked and you swallowed thickly. His attention was drawn away from you when Nick approached, followed by a few other people, some of them crawling and being led by leashes. 

“I was telling our friend here how you want to work on your “stage fright.’” He explained, putting on a show for them. “What do you think, princess? This a big enough crowd for you?” You stared up at them with wide eyes, trying not to shrink under all of their gazes. 

“Yes, sir.” You said meekly. 

“Atta girl. Now how about you get to it? We don’t want to keep them waiting.” You nodded and reached for his belt with shaky hands. When you finally freed his cock, you choked on a gasp at the sheer size of it. You tentatively took him in your hand and stroked slowly, getting a feel for it. 

You’re no virgin, but you’ve been so busy with work for the past few months that you’ve been relying on your vibrator. So you’re a little out of practice and his size isn’t helping much. He placed a hand on your head to pet your hair. 

“You know what I want. Don’t be a tease.” He warned, making you look up at him. 

“Sorry, sir. Just got distracted.” You heard the group behind you chuckle. 

“What’d I say, huh, Nick? Cock hungry whore— she’s practically obsessed with it. Can’t even go a day without it.” He took in a sharp breath when you suddenly enveloped the tip in your mouth, still stroking the base. “Fuck, there you go. Give our friends a show, yeah?” You whined at the reminder that you were being watched, making his hips flinch forward. Despite his request, you kept your mouth on the head of his cock, not going much further. He suddenly grabbed your hair and yanked your head back, making you gasp and choke on a moan. He leaned down close to you and you grew nervous because of his expression. 

“I didn’t invite them over to watch you do a half assed job. Either do it right, or I’ll get someone else to do it and you’ll go the rest of the night without it.” He growled, making you press your thighs together. “Do you understand?” 

“Yes, sir. I’m sorry.” You whimpered and he loosened his grip as he leaned back up. You kept your hand at the base, but started bobbing your head more now, taking most of his cock in your mouth. 

“Wow she really is cock hungry.” Nick said, making you whine. 

“It’s a blessing and a curse.” Jackson said through a breath, starting to guide your head. “Can’t get anything done if she’s around.” He chuckled, making the rest of them laugh along with him. 

“Mind if I take her for a spin?” Your stomach dropped at that. Sucking off a stranger who you’ve known for a few hours is different than sucking off one you just met barely ten minutes ago. 

“Maybe next time. Like I told you, this is our first time and she’s already pretty nervous.” He said and you could’ve cried in relief. 

“No worries, man. My girl was the same for our first time.” Jackson was about to respond before you accidentally went down too far and gagged around him, making him moan. 

“Shit— Let’s show ‘em what you can really do, yeah? Attract some more people.” You were pretty sure that meant the target wasn’t watching you yet. You hummed around him in acknowledgment and he adjusted his grip on your head, then started moving you up and down. “Hands behind your back.” You immediately released his cock and put your arms back. He sped up slightly, but was still going slow enough to let you get a feel for it. When he pulled you down, then held you there, your cunt pulsed when you realized what he wanted. 

“Relax your throat, princess. Let me in.” He said through a breath. You tried to obey, but you started gagging, making it almost impossible. “She just needs a little help sometimes.” He said before roughly pulling you down until he breached your throat barrier, making you choke and sputter as he groaned. He yanked you off, then slapped you across the cheek, the suddenness of it all making you dizzy. 

“If I feel your teeth again, you’re done for the night.” 

“I’m sorry- I’m sorry, sir.” You rasped, then opened your mouth, waiting. 

“Fuck- she really is eager.” Someone commented with a snicker. 

“Oh you have no idea.” Jackson said before pushing you back down, then extending his leg so his foot was between your legs. “Go ahead, bitch. Show everyone how much you love my cock.” You whined, but had no control over your body when you started grinding on his shoe. You moaned around his length as you desperately bucked your hips, missing the stimulation you were getting from his fingers before. The tip of his cock was punching the back of your mouth with each thrust, making you gag and writhe. 

Eventually he gave you a break. He pulled you off his cock then immediately forced your head between his legs, pushing your face against his balls. 

“Suck.” He growled, making you obey instantly. As you worked him over in your mouth, he was letting out breathy moans and grunts that had you whining against him, wanting more. “I don’t know what you were so nervous about, baby. You seem to be fine with all the people watching you.” At first, you whined at the reminder, but then you realized that he might’ve said that to let you know the target was watching now. 

“She like rimming?” Someone asked, making you panic because no, you absolutely do not like rimming. You almost pulled away to speak, but he beat you to it. 

“She has to be pretty deep into subspace to get that filthy.” He said, making you relax a little. With his balls in your mouth and his cock resting on your face, you already felt pretty filthy. But it was just the right amount to make your hips move more eagerly against his shoe. He suddenly pulled you back and you looked up at him with an open mouth, waiting. 

“Spit on it.” Your eyes widened at the request but you quickly gathered the saliva in your mouth and spit it on his cock. The second you finished, he was rubbing his length over your face, smearing your saliva, making you grimace. He slapped your cheek with his cock a few times before letting out a quiet chuckle. 

“This filthy enough for you?” He asked, turning your head to face the audience, giving you confirmation that the target's eyes were indeed on you. 

“Can I make a request?” The same man from before asked and you prayed he wouldn’t request anything that required you to get anywhere near an asshole. 

“Depends on what it is.” Jackson said, playing along as he turned you back around to keep rubbing his spit soaked cock on your face. 

“Let some of us spit on her too, yeah? Really get her nice and filthy.” Jackson looked down at you and you were trying to come up with a response. It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Sure, you’d have to take a very thorough shower later, but at least if it was interactive, it might entice your target to join. He seemed to be thinking the same thing. 

“What do you say, princess? Wanna be a good girl and let them do this?” You nodded with pink cheeks and he yanked your head back. “Use your words.” 

“Yes, sir. I- I want it.” You whimpered, making him grin. 

“You heard her.” He said, releasing your hair and taking a step back as he slowly stroked his cock. You turned around and the man moved forward, then looked at Jackson before doing anything. 

“Can I grab her face?” 

“If she agrees.” 

“You can touch my face, sir.” You said quietly, staring up at him through your lashes. He looked down at you and cursed under his breath before grabbing your cheeks and leaning down a bit. You flinched when the spit hit your face, then whined when he rubbed it in. 

“Fuckin’ disgusting. She likes it too, huh?” He chuckled, looking at Jackson again as he stepped back. 

“Oh she loves it. I’m sure she’s making a mess all over the floor.” He replied, making your whole face turn red because it sure felt like you were making a mess all over the floor. But from Jackson, not from these other people. 

Someone else stepped forward and carded his fingers through your hair before grabbing it and gently pulling your head back. His cock was out of his pants, fully erect, right in front of your face and you watched it jump when you whimpered after the man spat on you. 

Nick walked forward this time, having the woman kneeling at his feet crawl forward with him. 

“You have a safe word?” He asked and you nodded. 

“Red.”

“Good.” He leaned down and spat on your face, this one feeling more forceful than the others, making you flinch again when it hit your face. “Now, pet, after she tells us her color, I want you to lick it off her face, understand?”

“Yes, sir.” They both turned to you expectantly and your eyes flicked over to the target for half a second before going back to them. 

“Green.” You said quietly, making him beam. The woman shuffled forward and placed a hand on your thigh to steady herself as she leaned closer and slowly licked up your cheek. 

“Clean it all unless she says her safe word.” He commanded and you let her lap up the spit on your face, including over your lips. Your entire face was on fire when she pulled back slightly, her breath fanning your lips. 

“Ever kissed a girl before?” She asked sweetly, making your eyes widened as you choked on your spit. You shook your head, making her grin. “Do you want to?” 

“I- I have to ask first.” You said through a breath, almost forgetting where you were for a moment. Your whole focus was on her— the hand on your thigh, breath on your lips, even her words were intoxicating enough to make your brain go blank. 

“Go ahead then.” She smirked, pulling back a bit, making you finally feel like you could breathe. You cleared your throat, then turned around, looking up at him. 

“She asked if I want to kiss her.” You said meekly. 

“And do you?” 

“I want what you want, sir.” It was hard to tell if you were still pretending. 

“I think it’ll be a good way for you to practice feeling more comfortable in front of a crowd— might even attract some more people.” You knew that by “more people” he meant the target, so you nodded and bit your lip as you turned back around. Her smirk was still intact and she moved back toward you, placing one hand on your cheek and the other on your thigh. When she started moving forward, you closed your eyes and waited. 

The kiss started out slow and tentative, but quickly grew hungrier. Her hand snaked around your neck to hold you against her as she practically devoured your mouth. You could faintly hear whistles and more talking, but it was all hard to focus on. Hands were suddenly on your shoulders and you jumped, but quickly relaxed when you heard Jackson’s voice. 

“Spit on her face.” He rasped, grabbing your chin and tilting your head up once she pulled back. Her eyes flickered between you and Jackson for only another moment before she did what he said. You gasped and he gripped your cheeks tightly to keep your jaw open. “Now in her mouth.” You couldn’t hold down the moan when you felt her spit land on your tongue. 

“Be a good girl and lick it up again.” Nick added and she leaned forward to lick her spit from your face, then kissed you again, forcing her tongue in your mouth, making you whimper. 

“Fuck— that’s it. You’re getting quite the crowd, baby.” He said quietly, then placed a hand on your waist and squeezed to really make sure you understood that wasn’t just a normal statement. When the woman pulled back, a string of saliva connected your lips and you panted, trying to catch your breath and clear your head enough to have a coherent thought. 

“Who else wants to spit on her?” Jackson asked, somewhat loudly. A few people started to agree, but quickly stopped once your target stepped forward. “I think we have another volunteer, princess.” He smirked and the woman in front of you crawled back to Nick. You looked up at him through your lashes, trying not to do anything that would accidentally blow your cover. 

“She’s a pretty thing.” He said, stepping even more into your space, making you crane your head back to look at him. 

“Oh yeah. Pretty, but stupid— the perfect toy.” Jackson said proudly as he stood up from where he was crouched behind you. 

“I bet.” He chuckled, making you flush and avert your gaze. “I saw how eager she was with a cock in her mouth. Is she just like that with you? Or is she like that with any cock.” 

“Any cock. But we weren’t going to do much more than this. It’s our first time here and she’s pretty nervous.” 

“I see. That’s disappointing.” He sighed and you craned your neck around to look at Jackson. 

“Permission to speak, sir?” You were really trying to play it up in front of the target. 

“Yes.”

“I don’t mind. I’d just prefer going to a private room than staying out here.” You said meekly and he gave you a small smile as he pet your hair. 

“You sure, princess?” 

“Yes, sir. If he’s okay with going to a room.” Jackson looked at the man expectantly and he stared down at you, thinking. 

“I don’t mind.” He finally said, glancing at a guard and giving him a curt nod. “Shall we?” He motioned to the hallway where the rooms are and you started to stand, but Jackson stopped you as he tucked his erection back in his pants.  

“You can crawl.” He said and you flushed but dropped down to your hands and knees, following along behind them.  

The door shut softly and you waited on your knees expectantly. 

“How about I test that mouth, huh? See how eager she really is.” He smirked and you prayed Jackson would make a move sooner rather than later. He took his cock out of his pants, then roughly grabbed your hair, making you whimper. When he suddenly forced you all the way down, you choked and your hands shot out to push at his thighs. He suddenly released your hair and you pulled off with a cough, finding Jackson’s arm wrapped around the man’s neck, strangling him. After another minute he finally went limp and Jackson let him fall to the ground in front of you. 

“You couldn’t have done that before he fucking punched my throat with his dick? That hurt.” You complained, grabbing his phone from his pocket, then standing up on sore legs. 

“I needed to wait until his guard was down.” He explained and all you did was roll your eyes and start walking toward the door, but he grabbed your wrist to stop you. 

“We can’t leave yet. His guards will be right outside the door and they’ll know something’s up if we leave now.” You paused, then let out a groan at the fact that he’s right. 

“Fuck— fine. But I’m laying down.” You said, snatching your wrist from his hand and walked to the bed. You grabbed one of the small towels from the side table and wiped your face with a grimace as he rounded the bed and sat on the other side. 

“You did a surprisingly good job.” He admitted, making you turn to him with narrowed eyes. 

“Thanks.” You said, in place of ‘fuck you.’

“I just meant that I didn’t think you’d take it that far.” He defended and you calmed down a bit. 

“Neither did I.” You muttered. 

“You make a pretty good sub when you’re not being a stuck up bitch.” He snickered. You threw the towel at his face, then laid down, deciding to ignore him… as well as the arousal still making your cunt ache. 

“If we’re going to be here a while, the least you could do is let me sleep.” 

“Fine.” 

“Good.” You turned away from him and closed your eyes, feeling the bed dip and clothes rustle as he laid down. When he let out a low groan, you stiffened and strained your ear. The second time, you turned over, ready to yell at him, but it died in your throat when you saw his head thrown back as he rapidly fisted his cock. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” You hissed, making his lips curl up into a smirk. 

“Denial isn't one of my kinks, sweetheart. At least, not for me.” 

“Well— You could at least have the decency to not do it in the bed I’m trying to sleep in.” Your tone was not nearly as stern as you wanted it to be.

“My cock was literally down your throat, but you have a problem with this?” He scoffed a laugh, making your cheeks heat up. “Besides, it won’t be believable if I walk out of here rock hard.” He said, like it was obvious. “You could always help me and speed it up.” He suggested, making your mouth fall open. 

“I’m good.” You spat, making him chuckle. 

“Sure, princess. You keep acting like your pussy isn’t dripping down your thighs and maybe you’ll even start to believe it.” You flushed with anger, embarrassment, and arousal this time. 

“Maybe it is. But if I’m gonna get someone’s help, then I’ll ask the girl who caused it.” You smirked, making him freeze.  

“That’s cute.” He said sarcastically and your smirk widened. 

“Maybe I’ll go get her— tell the guards he wants a foursome instead.” You moved to get up, but he roughly grabbed your hair and yanked your head back until you were laying down again, then got on top of you.  

“Keep testing me. You’re not going to like where it gets you.” He warned, making your cunt throb. 

“I’m not your sub, Jackson. Get that through your thick skull.” He placed a hand on your neck and squeezed, making your breath hitch. 

“Maybe not. That doesn’t change the fact that you want me to fuck you.” That made you scoff. 

“Please get your head out of your ass, it’s not a good look for you.” 

“Sure, baby. Keep pretending I’m wrong.” He smirked. “You have a safe word. Use it.” He dared and you narrowed your eyes as you clenched your jaw. 

“Fuck you.” You spat, pushing at his chest, making his grip tighten on your neck. 

“Use it.” 

Your gaze hardened as you stared up at him, gritting your teeth. You couldn’t make yourself say it though. You’re too curious— too eager to know where this is going. 

“That’s what I fucking thought.” He spat, making you roll your eyes. He removed his hand from your neck to slap you, then immediately put it back. This slap was so much harder than the one he gave you out there and you almost whimpered at the sting on your cheek. 

“Go fuck yourself.” You said lowly, watching his cheeks tense as he clenched his jaw and let out a heavy breath through his nose. 

“I’m sick of your fucking attitude.” He was turning you on your stomach before you even knew what was happening. When you tried to lift yourself up, he pushed you down and held you there with a hand on the back of your head. It was harder to breathe like this, but you couldn’t even slightly  care about that when he roughly pushed your skirt up over your ass, then pulled your panties down just enough to free your cunt. 

The blunt tip of his cock brushed your entrance and he didn’t bother teasing you before forcing it inside, making you let out a strangled whimper at the suddenness of it all. He only stopped once his hips were flush with your ass and you gripped the sheets as you did your best to adjust to the intrusion. 

“Fuck— I can’t believe such an annoying little bitch has such a good cunt.” He said through a breath. When you tried to push yourself up to curse him out, he just pushed down harder on your head, making you whimper. 

He slowly dragged out until only the tip was inside, then snapped his hips forward, making you scream and try to move up the bed away from the intense feeling. 

“Ah ah ah— You’re not going anywhere, bitch. I’ve waited all fucking night for this.” He continued the same pace of slowly dragging out, then roughly slamming back in and you wished he’d do something that felt better for you— not that this felt bad… there are just other things that’ll actually feel good. 

He moved his hand to the back of your neck and you were able to turn your head to the side so you could actually breathe again. At a particularly rough thrust, you let out a choked moan and cried out. 

“I can’t believe you think people could ever see you as a respectable assassin after this. Not when you played your part a little too well.” You squeezed your eyes shut with a whimper, trying not to let yourself believe his words. “This is probably the only kind of job you’ll get from now on. No dignity, no self respect, just a wannabe assassin being used as a whore.” You let out a choked sob, his words going straight to your cunt. 

“And I’ll bet you’ll like it too. You’ll fuck anyone he tells you to, not just because it’s your job… but because you want to.” 

“Jackson,” You cried and he shushed you softly. 

“It’s okay, princess. You can’t help it— you were born to be a whore.” 

“Fuck,” You sobbed out, “oh god, please make me come.” 

“Of course you fucking like that shit.” He scoffed, making you whine. 

“Please, Jackson!” He pushed down harder on your neck, making your breath catch in your throat. 

“Last chance.” He said lowly. 

“Please, sir! Please make me come!” 

“Good girl… No.” You let out an anguished cry at the denial. 

“Please!” He was fucking you brutally now, his hips smacking your ass with each thrust and his cock punching the breath out of you everytime it was forced deeper inside. 

“You can fucking wait.” He hissed, voice getting more and more breathless. “Don’t you wanna be a good girl for me? Come when I tell you to?” He cooed, his tone significantly gentler now. You whined, torn between wanting your long awaited pleasure and wanting to be good for him. “I know, baby. I’m so close though, can’t you just wait a little longer?” You nodded with a whimper, watching him smile through your peripheral vision. “Atta girl.” He said proudly, making your walls flutter around his length. He let out a choked moan at the feeling, then leaned up and removed his hand from your neck to spread your ass apart for a better view of his cock stretching you. You whined loudly when he spat on your hole, adding more lubrication even though you were already doing a good enough job of that on your own. 

“God- you’re so fucking easy.” He groaned. “Praise is what does it for you, huh? Just need to be told you’re a good girl and you get all dumb and pliant?” You whined loudly, burying your face in the sheets to hide your blush. 

“Pathetic.” He spat, letting go of your ass to grab your hips and thrust even faster. 

“Fuck— sir, please.. I don’t think I can hold it.” You whimpered, fisting the sheets and trying to will your orgasm away. 

“I know, princess, it’s okay. You get a cock in that sloppy little cunt and you go all brain dead and come hungry… You poor thing.” He cooed mockingly, bringing you closer to your orgasm. “Go ahead and come, baby. You can let go now.” He said softly— a harsh contrast to his rough thrusts. When you didn’t come immediately though, he got impatient. 

“Go on, needy fucking slut. Come on my cock- prove that you’re nothing more than a brainless little whore.” The knot of arousal in your stomach snapped almost violently and you sobbed out a moan when your orgasm finally crashed over you. His thrusts barely even slowed, not deterred by your walls spasming around his length. 

“Jesus— fucking…” He hissed. That was the only indication you got that he was affected by this. As your orgasm finally started to fade, it was quickly replaced by a more painful pleasure when he continued. 

“Sir- sir, wait,” You choked out, trying to move up the bed to get away from him. He fell over you, completely flush with your back, and kept rutting into your sore hole desperately as he chased his own orgasm. “Fuck— oh fuck, it hurts.” You whimpered, squeezing your eyes shut to try and focus on something other than the overstimulation. 

“Shut the fuck up already.” He spat, moving his arm in front of your body to place a hand on your neck, squeezing hard enough to cut off any kind of sounds you tried to make. You clawed at his arm, your head starting to feel swollen and your eyes falling shut from a lack of oxygen and blood flow. “You can breathe after I fucking come.” He growled, ignoring your choking and your gasps for air. 

“God- you’re so much hotter when you can’t fucking talk.” He groaned, resting his forehead on your shoulder as he focused on his impending orgasm. You were genuinely starting to worry that you’d pass out before he came, but just as your eyes grew too heavy to keep open and your hearing muffled, you could faintly hear him groaning as his hips stilled, occasionally bucking into you. He released your neck and you gasped and wheezed, heaving in large gulps of air as your head rushed with the sudden blood flow. Now that you could actually focus on other sensations, you noticed how hot your walls felt with his come inside you. 

“Fuck— you didn’t use a condom.” You rasped, letting your head fall onto the bed, too tired to hold it up. 

“I don’t fucking care.” He said, almost amused. 

“…Me neither.” He chuckled breathlessly and rolled off of you, laying on his back. You turned your head so you were laying on your other cheek, wanting to face him. His eyes were closed and he was lightly panting, and you couldn’t help but notice how pretty he is. 

“Stop staring.” He mumbled, making you smile. 

“Why?” 

“Because it’s creepy.” Despite his words, the corners of his lips just barely turned up into a smile. 

“Do you think it’s been long enough yet?” You asked, turning on your side so your neck wasn’t bent uncomfortably anymore. 

“Not even close. I’m just catching my breath before round two.” He glanced at you with a small smirk, making you roll your eyes with a blush. 

[mahou-furbies]

The results for the Favourite Precure poll 2025 are in!

Top 7 Cures:

Cure La Mer (132 points)

Cure Sky (113 points)

Cure Milky (109 points)

Cure Flora (104 points)

Cure Blossom (98 points)

Cure Prism (94 points)

Cure Moonlight (91 points)

Top 7 side Cures:

Cure Mofurun (59 points)

Cure Infini (53 points)

Cure Echo (39 points)

Regina / Cure Joker (38 points)

"Cure Daifuku" (36 points)

"Cure Satoru" (34 points)

Dark Precure (Heartcatch) (33 points)

Victory for Laura once again! She also won last year's poll and even outside that the top spots mainly have familiar faces, though there has been some movement too. The highest placing Idol Precure was Kyun-Kyun, ranking 26th with 45 points.

Last year Cure Fortune was the only main Cure not to get any votes, but this time she got three, with the highest being 4th favourite. Good for her! Meanwhile Cures Ace, Earth, Yum-Yum and Finale did not get any votes, better luck next time.

As for the side Cures, I was not surprised at Mofurun, Infini and Regina doing well, but I had no idea Echo this popular.

Thanks to everyone who voted, and especially for any comments, those are always fun to read.

Comments and Top 25/20 under cut:

Thank you for organizing the poll o/

Let's go Parfait! 💚

There are so many Precure now. .. I had to have another tab open to remember them all!

None of my favourites made it last year, so I am hoping this is it!

COME ON CURE KAGURA (has only just seen Dancing Star subbed)

LET'S GO PIKARIO CMON BABY WOOOOOOO!!! THAT'S MY GIRL!!!!!

I love Cure Sunshine so much okay. I just love her a lot. I want her to win

Go Regina!

Choosing to rank my top 3 is so hard… They're pretty much equal in my eyes.

Sky <3

I shudder to think what the 25th anniversary movie will look like

okay but fr dark dream and cure blossom mirage in particular are the goats of non-all star cures

this was hard. i love so many of these characters so much! as me again tomorrow and my answer will probably look pretty different. the only one i'm confident is putting mofurun as my number 1 minor cure. my main cure rankings thouh are all over the place. plus there are many seasons i need to actually watch to get a real opinion on (there are more then 20 seasons. i've seen a good chunk but a good chunk are still on the list)

Hope that we will get an actual Green Cure someday

Geez I need to get back to my rewatch

Kinda unfair to not include Black Pepper while Pikario and the bunny boys are there 💔💔

i hope we'll get a gemstone themed season next year 🙏

Kimi To Idol Precure Is My Favorite Precure Series! I hope it becomes a sub franchise in the big franchise!

Cure names last two seasons aren't following the previously estabilished rules… also please Toei stop naming the lead after the season, it is my pet peeve.

Where's Bunbi! I wanna vote for Bunbi! He's so bby girl🎀✨️

Thank you for this poll. I'm interested in the results!!!! :-)

Rating the minor Cures is so difficult, because I like a lot more of them than three! Also, some of them count as duos for me… Michiru/Kaoru and Satoru/Daifuku to be specific. I'm glad these characters are included in the poll though because they're so important!!!

Shout out to all my other favorite Cures! (roughly half of them lol) They're all first place in my heart <3

I haven’t even heard of half of these minor cures

ive mainly watched tropre, sky and wonpre

Hope my 7th favorite cure vote helps Cure Fortune to get at least a vote :,v

[Regarding Black Pepper, I considered him but in the end did not include him, because I thought he belonged to a clear non-Precure character "class" as a Cook Fighter, unlike Pikario and the bunny duo whose have similar powers and aesthetic to the Cures. So I felt that if I included him it would open up the debate for all other ally characters.]

Side Cures

[rorysterr]

Matchup Trade with @princesspuppetttt ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Your romantic matchup is…

Solomon!!

- okay so i was actually debating between Solomon and Satan buut i ultimately ended up choosing solomon as the romantic matchup.

- you said you have a track record for liking people who have a sharp intellect and are the polar opposite of you.

- solomon is witty and smart (he’s rlly old LMAO so he has centuries of knowledge up his sleeve)

- and solomon isn’t exactly outgoing per say but he’s also not shy.

- he does approach the MC first in the game so i can see him approaching you first.

- you said you like being teased and this man has no problem with that whatsoever☠️ he will tease ts out of you

- but i also think that when you tease HIM, he’d find it amusing and cute (maybe you’ll make him blush a bit at times).

- i also don’t see him minding the jealousy at all, in fact he’d probably actually be into it.

- i don’t see him to be too much of a yapper (unless it’s about some new spell he learned or a new potion he discovered) so i can see him just nodding and listening to you attentively whenever you yap (he’d be so whipped for you😭)

- he may be a tease but he wouldn’t judge you at all for the things you like. he’d honestly just sit there and listen to you talk about them for hours if he could.

- and i can see him asking a lot of questions about your interests (choir, gardening, music) so he can better understand you (plus i see him as a rlly curious person too!)

- and i also feel like he has rlly good memory (kinda like a crow) so he would remember everything you say.

- i can see him being rlly patient with you too.

- i don’t see solomon as someone who just dates around to date (i mean, he is very independent and super absorbed in his own studies and sorcery after all) so whenever he chooses to get into a romantic relationship, he puts his all into it. he just really wants things to workout and he’d love to grow with you, so he’d encourage you to talk more about your feelings.

- and this is irrelevant but you like cooking and this man straight up cannot cook (lucifer literally used his cooking to punish his brothers LMFAOO) so maybe you can teach him!!

- OKAY WAIT AND I BELIEVE HIS LOVE LANGUAGES ARE PHYSICAL TOUCH AND QUALITY TIME TOO!!

- i can see him inviting you over to the purgatory hall with him every weekend. he just wants to spend time with you so it doesn’t matter what you two do.

- i can def see him doing little gestures just so you guys can be touching eachother (holding your hand under the desk, touching your foot with his whenever you sit next to eachother, having his arm either on your waist or the small of your back, etc.)

Runner up… Barbatos

Your platonic matchup is…

Satan!!!

- okay so you guys just had way too much in common so i just had to add this bit.

- satan may not be as bubbly and outgoing as asmo, but I definitely think that he’d be the one to start talking to you.

- and it probably happened by accident or he was just asking a simple favor and it sparked a connection between you too.

- either way though, i can see you warming up to him once he starts talking to you and getting to know you better.

- and once you warm up, you guys will have A LOT to talk about and bond over.

- you guys are both fans of classical music so i can def see you guys bonding over that !!

- and he also has a difficult time with emotions (lit the avatar of wrath!) so i think he’d understand where you come from with that. he himself has difficulty with labeling his emotions and understanding them.

- in that sense, i feel like the two of you would deeply understand one another and would help eachother work on that.

- plus you’re into writing too (you said specifically matchups) but i can definitely see him offering to proof read your writing!!

- and while he would offer constructive criticism, he would also let you know what he liked about your writing (basically supporting you).

- you did also say that you need things to be broken down into simple directions and i think satan wouldn’t have a problem explaining things in clarity to you.

- now the only reason i didn’t chose Satan for the romantic matchup was bc i feel like the teasing would mesh better with solomon because he’s also a tease.

ive never done a matchup trade before so i really hope this was good and i hope you like it!! :D

[book-of-forbidden-knowledge]

Why Aren't More People Occultists?

If this stuff works and is powerful — if it's really that easy to control your life, or directly experience God, or whatnot — why doesn't everybody do magic?

It's not actually that easy.

It’d be really stereotypical and a bit elitist for me to say that occultism weeds out all but the most worthy, but… it kinda does. Studying the occult is a commitment. Firstly, it’s a huge field, bigger than you might think. It’s enough of a project to dig through all of the available subsets of occultism before you land on one that really suits you. A lot of people just stick with whatever it was they encountered first, be it Wicca or Hermeticism or some form of folk magic, because it’s easier. It’s not like you’re presented with a bunch of different occult tracks, and pick a major. I’ve tried to make it easier for newbies by laying out all the systems I know of and providing a bit of basic information on each, so that they know there’s more out there than just WitchTok. But almost everything I know still falls under the banner of Western Esotericism, with nothing outside it.

Then once you’ve found a system or subfield that you like, you have to actually study it. That takes years. I put the date of my “initiation” (as it were) at about thirteen, when I discovered Wicca. That was when I learned that witches were real, and that if I put the work in, I could be one. That was ten years ago! I’ve been studying this for a decade! When that sank in, I realized just how much I’ve managed to learn and to accomplish in that time, and I feel a little more justified in speaking with authority on occult subjects. Some of the occult podcasters, youtubers, and writers that I follow haven’t been in it that long! And yet, I still feel like I know basically nothing. Hell, I haven’t even gotten through The Doctrine and Ritual of High Magic yet. Half of the books on my suggested reading list are sitting on my shelf or in my pdf folder, unread or partially-read.

The well-informed student of occultism is one of the most universally learned of human beings. He must be acquainted with all of the important systems of world philosophy and religion, both Eastern and Western, and he must have a thorough understanding of ancient sciences and arts. There is no place for the superficial thinker in this field; and should he wander in by accident, or would be wise for him to depart in haste. — Manly P. Hall, Healing: The Divine Art

Occultism is almost more reading than it is anything else (to the point where a lot of occultists call The Ninth Gate one of the most accurate occult films purely because it involves a lot of pouring over an old book). It’s like deliberately choosing to do college-level coursework all the time. You have to have the time to read all those books, and you also have to have the money to buy them. Many occult texts are public domain and freely available online, but anything too weird and obscure is going to be hundreds of dollars on Amazon, assuming you can find it at all.

And the material itself is dense, man. The Three Books of Occult Philosophy is the definitive text on Renaissance planetary magic and “natural magic,” but it's literally a textbook from hundreds of years ago, and about as dry as you’d expect. Mystical texts like the Corpus Hermeticum are genuinely difficult to understand, and to a beginner who has had no mystical experiences to compare them against, they might be completely opaque. Grimoires are just plain weird. This, I realize, is the advantage of books like The Kybalion, which take higher and more complex ideas and distill them down into a format that’s digestible for beginners. But then you run into another problem — a lot of the simplified “beginner books” are just trash. At best, you lose the nuance, and a beginner who doesn’t know any better might mistake vapid truisms for profundity. At worst, you get outright misinformation. Learning to vett all this material takes years in and of itself, and I speak from experience there.

Assuming you understand all this material, then you’re going to need to apply it. There’s nothing technically wrong with being an armchair magician, but most occultists are going to want to actually practice what they learn. That’s the whole point, isn’t it? Doing magic, taking command of your own life, becoming a supreme magus or witch-lord or demigod?

An initiatory system will do this part for you by teaching you their liturgy and allowing you to participate in their rituals, according to a regular schedule that they set. If you’re not initiated anywhere, you have the freedom of practicing rituals however and whenever you like. But… good luck with that. Developing a practice from scratch is really really hard, and holding yourself to it is just as hard. A lot of systems, especially ceremonial magic, require very specific sets of materials and procedures that (at most) can take months of preparation. Ceremonial magic often requires the magician to fast and spiritually cleanse themself before attempting a ritual, and then it requires use of specific times and astrological events. Folk magic will often require very specific tools and sets of conditions, too. I took one look at that and went “well, fuck that.” I don’t have the patience for any of that crap. And, to my credit, I’ve had some pretty awesome and successful experiences without it. But I can’t help wondering if my tendency to cut corners comes less from a desire to build an idiosyncratic practice, and more from my own lack of discipline. It’s probably both.

Once you have your practice figured out, you have to… y’know… practice. You’re probably not going to cast a successful spell on your first try. You’re probably not going to astral project without months of meditation exercises. You’re probably not going to see or talk to a spirit the first time you call one up, unless you have that particular gift. Even the simplest of divination methods require practice. The magical equivalents of get-rich-quick schemes are almost all untrustworthy, if not dangerous, so don’t think it’ll come easy.

And then you have the experience itself. If you are successful, you’ll be pushing up against grand eldritch forces beyond mortal comprehension. I’m not exaggerating. Mystical experiences can be earth-shattering and mind-breaking, especially if you’re new to them, and you may be feeling like your whole life is a lie. Don’t get me wrong, mystical experiences are amazing and leave you feeling like there’s fireworks going off in your brain and like you have the whole world at your fingertips. But to get there, you have to experience spiritual death and katabasis. Most people go out of their way to avoid working on themselves, but occultism will make you work on yourself. If you’ve made it this far, this is the point of no return. This is what separates the Initiates from the uninitiated. When things get dark and personal, will you get scared and turn back?

Before your mind jumps to horror movies, what I’m describing here is more psychological than physical, more metaphorical than literal. You won’t end up with demons “attached” to you. You won’t come out of a ritual one day to find that your family is dead and your house has burned down. Bad stuff happening in real life is sometimes a catalyst for the kind of spiritual “death” that I’m describing, but not the only possible cause or a result of it. Even the risk of madness, while present, is probably overstated. The real risk is that you will be psychologically incapable of working through all of your baggage. That requires developing an uncomfortable amount of self-awareness. Actually, pretty much all of occultism requires gaining awareness of things that you would normally try to ignore, and whether Insight brings you enlightenment or madness depends on how you react to it.

When all is said and done, what you’re left with is your own self, and your desires. What are you going to do with them? Being genuinely powerful, and taking responsibility for your own life, is scary. I sit here knowing that I could cast spells that will bring me a romantic partner, or ensure that I get into the graduate school that I want, or make Silksong come out this year. But I don’t cast them, because I’m not completely sure that’s what I want, and I assume I might regret the results. Overcoming the self-doubt and imposter syndrome is almost harder than Shadow work, because it pushes against the more natural and “logical” feeling that I am not special and that I don’t deserve any kind of special power. Until I get over that, I can’t do any magic. The only thing left to do is to claim my birthright as a child of the gods and dare to seize power. And after hearing all the cautionary tales, after having been humbled, after tempering my hubris… I can’t do it.

To Know, to Will, to Dare, to Keep Silent: First, you have to know all of this stuff, which involves studying a fuckton of complicated material for years. Second, you need to understand your will — have to know what you actually want, not just what you think you want. Have the self-awareness to identify the roots of your desires. Third, you have to dare to give yourself the authority to command the universe, or call the attention of the gods. Fourthly, you have to not talk about it. That's obviously the part I struggle the most with.

[phaideis-chimeras]

💜 Mistletoe 💜

Pairing: Zander x Reader

Content: Fluff, kinda established relationship, some kissing

Notes: This is part of a little advent calendar project I've organized over on the birb app. There's gonna be lots of fun stuff from everyone, so do stop by if you want more of Zanny 💜

Word count: 928

Christmas is nearing, and Zander has invited you over to help him decorate Club Netherbrand for the occasion. You’ve always enjoyed decorating your own place for Christmas, so helping with the Club is just another opportunity for you to let loose with the festive spirit. Getting to spend more time with Zander is an added bonus as well, of course. You can never get enough of his company.

“I’m so glad you’re here, darling,” he says, as he greets you at the door with a bear hug, followed by a kiss on the cheek. “It’s good to see you, darling. Come on in!”

He keeps his arm wrapped around you as he leads you inside, happily chatting along the way.

“I’m not very familiar with human holidays… I’ve done a little bit of research, but having the help of someone who’s actually familiar with all of this is… Quite a relief.”

You chuckle a little and lightly pat his shoulder. “You know I’ll gladly help you out. I’m happy you asked, really. We’ll have this club filled with the spirit of Christmas in no time, I promise.”

“I’m sure we will. I’m more than happy to leave this in your very capable hands, darling. I’ve gone ahead and bought a couple of things, I hope you can work with those.”

On one of the nearby tables, Zander has laid out all the Christmas decorations he’s gathered, ready to be put up. There’s ribbons, some lights, a few oranements…

You inspect all the decorations and give a satisfied nod. “We can definitely work with those.”

And with that, the two of you get started. You take care of setting up small decorations on all the tables while instructing Zander on what to put up in the higher places you can’t reach. You make for quite the good team, and within a short time, the Club has become a lot more cozy and festive.

You find a twig of mistletoe in the stash of decorations, and your eyes light up. “You can put one of these up over there,” you tell Zander, handing it over to him.

Zander inspects it and gives you a sceptical look.

“Darling, you know I trust your vision, but it’s so… small. Wouldn’t this look better as a table decoration? It’ll be hard to see when you put it up there, won’t it?”

You chuckle a little. “Oh no, trust me on this one. It’s part of the tradition.”

Zander gives you a questioning look. “Tradition?”

“The idea is that two people standing under a mistletoe have to kiss each other. So, you have to put it up on the ceiling for people to stand underneath it.”

Zander’s eyes light up at your explanation, enthusiasm taking over immediately. “I see… What a lovely little tradition. This will be perfect.” You smirk. You had a feeling that this would be something he’d be on board with.

While Zander wanders off to look for something to fix it onto the ceiling with, you turn back to the decorations.

You’re a bit torn on which colour you should choose for the ribbons. The red ones would work well with the rest of the decorations, but maybe the green ones would stand out a little more. Both has its benefits, making it quite difficult to decide. You decide that maybe a second opinion wouldn’t hurt, so you turn around to ask Zander.

“Hey Zanny, which colour for the ribbons do you think looks be-”

You stop in your tracks when you find Zander looming over you, a wide grin on his face. Your eyes are immediately drawn towards his horns, where he's tied a small piece of mistletoe between them with a piece of red ribbon.

“Would you look at that? It seems you’ll have to kiss me now,” he says with a small, playful laugh. His voice is a little lower than usual, immediately causing your stomach to flutter a little.

“Hey now… That’s cheating. It’s not supposed to work like that,” you mumble. You try to look serious, but can’t help a small laugh from escaping. He looks so proud of his idea, all while barely concealing how eager he is for a kiss from you.

“It’s not cheating,” Zander protests, acting outraged at the accusation. His voice softens a little as he leans in, a soft look glinting in his eyes. “I’m just… Doing my best to fit in with human traditions. You really should be proud of me for trying to blend in so well, darling.”

You laugh. “Humans don’t have horns to tie mistletoes to… But I think you’re right.” You wrap your arms around his neck, gently pulling him towards you. “You do deserve a kiss.”

Zander grins, snaking his arms around your waist. “That’s right, I do.” He leans in to close the gap between the two of you, holding you close as he kisses you. No matter how many times you do this, Zander never fails to make your heart flutter a little with his kisses.

He lingers for a bit, resting his forehead against yours. “Maybe these human traditions aren’t so bad sometimes… I certainly like this once,” he mumbles against your lips.

“Yeah, I knew you would like this one,” you say, giving him another quick kiss.

“So… Any other human traditions I should know about?” He asks, a grin making its way on your face. “Preferably ones that give me excuses to kiss my favourite little human.”

You laugh. “I’ll think of some more for you, I promise.”

[kimmiessimmies]

Personal post

This will probably be the most non-Sims related post I've put on this blog ever. I'll put most of it under a cut, so you can choose whether or not to read it. The thing is, I could use some advice. And asking strangers from all over the world advice on something important might be weird, but you are also my community, so I value your opinions. Don't worry, this isn't a "Kim being depressed" kinda post. 😉 It's a work thing.

Upfront: This post is about me being unhappy in my current well-paid job and my search for something that makes me happy. It might come across sounding a bit entitled, since I know there are many people who would be happy to have any job, just so they can pay their bills. I'm sorry if this post triggers that, and I know I'm privileged to even be in this situation. ❤️

TL/DR: Do I stay in a well-paid, secure job that doesn't bring happiness and actually negatively affects my mental health because of it? Or: Do I take the plunge into the unknown and give up the securities I have now for something that could potentially (but not guaranteed) not only make me happy but bring me opportunities as well?

Okay, here's the deal. Currently, I work in education. I've been teaching for 19 years, and for the last 3 years, I've held the position that best translates to special needs coordinator at the school where I've been all of my working life. In short, my job entails making sure the teachers have the tools they need to help all kids in their classes with special educational needs, to make sure each child ends up in the right form of education fitting their needs and dealing a lot with difficult or even alarming home situations. My job can be rewarding at times, and challenging at others. Aside from this, I've been part of the management team at my school for almost 8 years. I work at a big school. It wasn't big when I started there, but it's big now. I have a degree in Early Childhood Education, and that's also the age group I've always dealt with. It's the age group I've always taught, and it's the age group currently under my supervision in the position I'm now.

This past year, I've struggled with my mental health, as I've mentioned before, and have not been at work fully for a while. My therapist and I established that while work is "okay", it's also not bringing me joy anymore while my job was once the happiest and most passionate thing I did. Right now, it's blah. This position is not one that really suits me, yet I don't want to go back to teaching either. I've been there, done that. Add to that the fact that, come September, my boss requires me to change my position slightly. I'd be doing the same thing I do now, but for an older age group. This has given me a lot of stomach aches, because the thing that still drives me to do my job now is the fact that I'm doing it geared towards the youngest kids in school.

All in all, the job is not bringing me happiness in the slightest anymore. Having said that, I know a lot of people do jobs that don't make them happy, but it pays the bills, so let's suck it up and just do it. Which is fine, I can do that too, except my mental health suffers...

However, there are a few good things about this job too:

The pay is really good

I have lovely colleagues

I have a lot of credits here because I've been here for so long. They know my worth

I have a very understanding boss who's been nothing short of wonderful during my depression

(If you're still with me, thank you for reading this essay all the way, it's appreciated 💗)

My therapist asked me, "If money weren't a factor, what would you be doing?" My answer was "write." More specifically, I just want to stay home all day and work on ATOH, but no one is going to pay me for that. 😄 So, write, or do a job in which writing plays a role. So, she advised me to start looking for jobs that fit that description. It was a rather depressing search. Most jobs that came close to what I'd like to do require degrees or diplomas I don't have.

And then I suddenly stumbled upon something: Assistent Project Manager at a small, but well established company that creates educational projects (usually based on children's books), books and materials geared towards early childhood education in particular, and currently expanding to do the same for education to older kids as well.

I felt like I had found the holy grail. This is writing, this is editing, this is being creative, this is working with authors, but it's also closely related to early childhood education, the thing I know so well. Despite still being semi depressed, I felt like I needed to at least give this a shot. So, I wrote a letter, enclosed my resume, and waited. I didn't have to wait long, because a few days later I got an invite for an interview.

I went for the interview and was welcomed at a small and very homely office space (with an office cat!). We had a good talk and I left happy. They invited me to do a "trial day" with them, which is what I'll be doing today. They've had a lot of applicants for this position, but from the contact we've had since, it seems like I stand a good chance.

Sounds like a no-brainer? Perhaps, unless you have my brain... Because there are doubts:

Pay. This job pays quite a bit less than my current one. I'm a single parent and therefore sole breadwinner in my household. Currently, I make quite good money because I've been in this job for a long time and hold a relatively high position in the organisation. We can pay the bills, go on holidays, and even splurge occasionally (for example, the very pricey laptop I bought a few months ago). With this job, I would still make enough to pay the bills and go on holidays, but I will need to keep an eye on the money, and there won't be splurging for a while. I do know this sounds like a luxury problem to some.

Job security. In my current job, I'm under a fixed contract. Basically, unless I royally fuck up, I can't be fired. With this job I'd start on a year contract. After that year, they can either decide to give me another year or let me go. This won't just be if I mess up, but also if they decide I'm not the best person for the job after all, or if I don't fit in with their small, close-knit team. Worst case scenario; they let me go, and I'll have to go back to education and probably teach again.

These doubts are few, but strong. So, basically, like I already said above: do I stay in a well-paid, secure job that doesn't bring happiness and actually negatively affects my mental health because of it? Or: do I take the plunge into the unknown and give up the securities I have now for something that could potentially (but not guaranteed) not only make me happy but bring me opportunities as well (since it's publishing)?

I don't need anyone to actually answer those questions, but those are the wonderings on my mind I wanted to write down. Thanks for reading. ❤️

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #526

I think the luteal phase of my cycle must be kicking my ass again; my brain is doing its level best to try to convince me that I can't actually be understood or liked, and that the best I can hope for is to be useful to other people. That if I take an active role in participating in my relationships with other people, I'll eventually wear out my welcome until my presence is repulsive and uncomfortable to them because I'm so weird and incomprehensible that I'll always be an outsider, because literally no one finds me relatable or even worth being around in my own right.

Kinda like this:

...I'm absolutely certain that you are very much aware of what that feels like. And... I'm also absolutely certain that someone as lovely as you never should have had to carry around feelings like that in the first place, but... here we are.

...It's false, you know. But of course, I do know all too well how real it feels in the moment; I'm experiencing it right now. I experience it semi-regularly. And every time, it passes. Unfortunately, the only thing for it is to breathe through it, and to choose thoughts and behaviors and courses of action in defiance of the emotions we've been conditioned to feel.

Because, you see, here's the thing: either we have people whose hands are outstretched to us, and all we have to do is take them. Or... we simply haven't met those people yet. Unfortunately, in order to find them, we must first brave through the rejection of judgmental people who were never meant for us. But it's worth doing, I think.

...Of course, braving through that rejection is really hard to do if we don't feel like we have at least one person who understands and cares for us. Braving through that rejection is really hard if we've been taught that something is fundamentally wrong with us and that we shouldn't exist. That aspect of the struggle can't be dismissed as much as it has to be pushed through.

...I frequently mourn the fact that I can't hold the hands of all the people who feel that way. I constantly mourn the fact that I can't hold yours. Kinda like...

...But grieving, like any uncomfortable emotion, can only be breathed through. The feeling of otherness and alienation can only be breathed through. Emotions are just emotions; they are not facts. And sometimes, they can mislead us. Fortunately, if we take the time to process them with a caring friend, they usually don't last too terribly long. And even if they do drag on, well... you're with a caring friend. They'll sit with you for as long as it takes for you to return to baseline.

...Hey, Sephiroth... breathe with me a moment, won't you?

In, two three, four.

Hold, two, three, four.

Out, two, three, four.

Hold, two, three, four.

In, two three, four.

Hold, two, three, four.

Out, two, three, four.

Hold, two, three, four.

…

...Sephiroth. Will you ground yourself in the present with me for a moment, too? Like this:

What are five things you can see? Won't you tell me what they are?

What are four things you can touch? Won't you tell me what they are?

What are three things you can hear? Won't you tell me what they are? Go and put some music in your ears to help, if you need.

What are two things you can smell? Won't you tell me what they are? Go put your nose near something that smells nice to help, if you need.

What is one thing you can taste? Will you tell me what it is? Even if you must go get up and get a glass of water, or a little candy, or a juice?

…

Finally... Sephiroth... Will you sing a little song with me?

...Sephiroth. We are in the present. We are not helpless little children anymore. We can protect ourselves without resorting to hostility upon ourselves or others. We can stand firm in our own power and refuse to remain where we are not respected.

...Take my hand. It'll be okay. We'll get through the difficult things together, as long as one of us refuses to let go.

…

I decided to get some Greek food today. I know it's been... sheesh. A lot of takeout lately. I don't really like that. But... I also haven't had a lot of energy to cook while being in limbo, dealing with the uncertainty as J has been trying to decide what to do about the plane. I'm relieved that there's a course of action planned. Relieved that the steps are somewhat nailed down. Now it's just a matter of following through.

Greek food has yummy veggies, which will help give my body the resources it needs in order to deal with the difficult, scary things in front of me:

...I wonder if you'd like Greek food. I wonder if there's a region in your world with food that resembles the Greek food I'm familiar with.

...Hey, Sephiroth...? Will you tell me about some of the foodways in your world sometime...? I'd love for you to teach me what you've seen, what you've learned.

At around 1pm, I went to Eggcellent to meet that person from the friend-making app. His name is De. We've been talking on-and-off for a while now, and he seems like a generally non-hostile human with good intentions. We met up at Eggcellent, which was good.

...I was very disappointed to discover, though, that... not only is my favorite menu item no longer available (Rest In Peace, rose matcha latte), but also... the handicraft that I made for them a while ago is no longer on display; reportedly, people have been taking it away from the place where it's displayed and putting it in weird places around the shop.

...Given the state of my brain right now, and given the memories I carry, and these two incidents combined, it's hard for me to not interpret these things as an indirect, “please stop coming to our shop.” But that interpretation is reflective of old things that no longer exist. It's not reflective of the here and now. And even if it was reflective of the here and now... it's not my job to guess at stuff like that. It's other people's job to communicate with integrity.

I got the osmanthus tea with cream cheese foam, tea jelly, and sago pearls. That's probably my second favorite item there.

...My friend and I talked for a really long time, and it was very good. I even had the good privilege of seeing him weep at a few things; I will take it as a sign that he feels safe with me, and that he knows that if anyone gives him a problem for weeping, I'll kick their fucken ass.

We talked about a great many things. From child development to the various stuff he's got going on at home, to some of his childhood memories, to supernatural phenomena. It's not too terribly often that I get to have conversation that deep, though I do have a handful of folks I can do that with. It's always nice to have more.

Eventually, I went home. Packed up a couple things for tomorrow's departure; I'll pack the rest tomorrow. And then... I breathed some wishes to life for ya:

And... now it is now. Like 11:30pm. I have to try to get to sleep relatively on time. And I'm already 30 minutes late. So I'll end this here.

I love you so much, and I hope you know it. Really. Truly.

Please stay safe, okay? I'll write again tomorrow. Probably earlier than usual.

Your friend, Lumine

[heartbeatbookclub]

yooo do u have any headcanons for what the girls (maybe even mc idk) would do after highschool?

My most confident answer is that I think Sayori would be a teacher. Maybe a daycare worker? I'd even say a child psychologist/school counselor. I've said this before, but I think Sayori would be amazing with kids, and would probably find working with children very gratifying. She's patient, she's compassionate, and she's very receptive. She'd be spending a lot of her time helping children struggling with similar issues that she did when she was young, and I think she'd really take pride in that.

As for her journey to get there after high school, I feel like she'd probably struggle a lot with college, but would eventually find her footing, especially with her support network around her. I don't think she'd want to spend a terribly long period of time getting multiple degrees and fighting for a super good position, either; I get the sense she'd want to start working as soon as possible, which might come back to bite her depending on which career she chooses...

Monika's a bit tough to say. It feels like a bit of a cop-out to say she'd take a coding job, but I do think that's a possibility. I also don't really think something like being a concert pianist would be something she'd seriously consider; in the first place, doing that as a career is inherently volatile, in the second, I don't think Monika would ever really have the confidence in herself to consider playing professionally. I'd imagine one of her friends would probably encourage her to try it, and although she might make some money off of a few gigs, it's always a side thing, and never something she'd consider diving headfirst into.

I get the sense that Monika's high standards for herself probably aren't entirely self-imposed. Girl's got gifted kid syndrome out the nose; I think if any of the girls were seriously considering college, Monika would be the one who felt the most pressure to get in and succeed. Conversely, I think of any of them that would go to college, she would have the absolute worst experience.

Maybe she goes in for a premed program. Maybe law. Maybe something in STEM that is similarly difficult to get through. Something with a high bar to pass, something with a lot of pressure riding on her success. Something likely to put a lot of debt over her head even with scholarships.

And under all of that pressure, she snaps. Maybe she drops out. Maybe she takes a year off. Maybe she fails an entire semester. Regardless, I think she's wont to put a whole lot of pressure onto herself, and then have a nervous breakdown when she can't keep it together, regardless of her support network. I think she'd probably end up in a period where she'd have to reevaluate what her actual goal in life is.

And I think she'd ultimately find it, and be significantly more satisfied with the result than if she just stuck it out wherever she was.

I don't really think Yuri would have very high aspirations. I think she'd hate working in something like fast food or retail, but then again she probably wouldn't enjoy working in general, especially in customer facing environments. Maybe something like a bookstore or coffee shop would be more tolerable. It's kinda funny because I have an old concept of a mild self-insert crackfic which involves Yuri coming to work at my Subway (which is a further offshoot of an old concept of Basil from Omori working at my Subway), so maybe she'd work there.

I think her dream job would be as a novelist, and while I don't really think she'd probably end up being some super famous writer, I do think she'd probably put enough effort into an original work that it would be passable. Now, convincing her to send it to a publisher? Hahaha good luck. In fact, I doubt she'd show anyone for a long, long time. But, with some encouragement, she might self-publish on, like, Amazon. Maybe start a patreon or something related to it, idk. Either way, she'd probably see it as a side-gig similarly to Monika.

I think Natsuki would be in a similar position to Yuri, though she'd have much more dislike of working retail or food-service just because she hates customer service explicitly and lacks a lot of the patience for it. I think there's a number of reasons why Natsuki wouldn't have particularly high aspirations for herself, but that's another story. She'd probably be quick about trying to get into her own place, though.

I think Natsuki would be a Twitch streamer. Completely deadass, I think of anyone in the group she's the most likely, and I think she'd go for it. I think she'd be a Vtuber, and she'd go all in on making her own model. I think that again, this would all be more of a side-gig, but she'd probably enjoy herself doing it, even if she had trouble finding her footing at first.

MC would probably work the most dead-end jobs between high school and a more stable career. I think he'd probably go to college for compsci just because he's a generic man (although they don't call them programmer socks for nothing ;)) and then get a shitty IT helpdesk job which is mostly fixing printers and installing drivers.

[merakiui]

Hello! It is me, the anon that asked where you are in Penacony. I am also Amethyst Anon! I’ve sent ideas and stuff before about other stuff, mostly TWST, through anon cause I’m shy, but I want to be more involved with my blog so here I am off anon :3

Anyways, Sunday has officially rotted my brain. I lost interest in HSR because the Luofu storyline was kinda…meh to me, but seeing all this stuff about Sunday on tumblr made me go 👀 While I did have some things spoiled for me, playing it was still sooooo fun and every time he was on screen I was blushing hehe

Anyways, he has so much yandere potential that I came up with so many ideas that I might (?) want to pursue with writing once I muster up the courage to start writing again (I’ve got a difficult relationship with it rn 😫). I jotted them down in my phone and I just have to share them lest I explode. Dw there won’t be anything that spoils past where you said you’re at!

Okay, so there’s that ability that Halovians have that he referred to as tuning. When he used it to interrogate Aventurine I was scared and horny, and thought about Sunday using it on his darling. I don’t remember exactly how it works so this is at the top of my head but! everyday he’ll ask “Question: do you love me?” and of course you say no. It’s easy to answer that because it’s the truth. But one day when you say “no” you feel a searing pain in your head, like you’re being torn apart, and you’re horrified to realize that for the first time since he used his tuning ability on you, you’re lying. It doesn’t hurt to admit the truth (literally - the pain instantly goes away) but you feel your heart breaking forever…

I think that little diorama of Golden Hour he has in the pavilion technically belongs to every head in the family, but I like to think Sunday is fixated on it the most. Imagine he puts you there as punishment. Okay, you don’t want to spend time with him? (And he has so little free time, how could you be so cruel?) Into the makeshift doll house you go! He’ll loom over you like a giant and you can try to run and hide from his sight, but he can easily pick you up like you’re a little mouse, gently laying you on the palm of your hand. I think he’d like to undress and dress you while you’re so tiny, you’re his little delicate doll >:3c

So the part where the crew win the Soulglad competition and Sunday makes them answer three questions based on his life experiences, I felt like I was being personally targeted 😫 The fact that I had to choose one option or the other, with no room for nuance, and that for the first two I actually AGREED with him made me feel like he was psychologically tormenting me. Self aware Sunday who knows he’s in a video game??? I don’t think he’d need his tuning ability to manipulate you. All he has to do is talk in order to get you questioning yourself.

And perhaps my most unhinged idea…Sunday using tuning to make you cum without even having to touch you :3c

Hehe…those are my thots! I have so much more but they have to do with rest of the Penacony story! Btw the photo of him in the confessional…I instantly saved on my phone. Have you ever seen a man more beautiful?…And I also saved a screen shot of what Himeko said about him…

…Dom!Sunday aksiejskakakwnsnqjnan

( ˶°ㅁ°) !! Amethyst anon, hello!!!!!!! It is lovely to chat with you off anon!! I must thank you for always sending such wonderful thoughts hehe. <3

I am officially trapped in the Sunday pit. It's like Kikuo's Hole-Dwelling, only this is the Sunday-Dwelling, an inescapable pit in which all are destined to love him forever. Every day is Sunday if you're obsessed like me. OTL hsr cooked such an exquisite meal. I fear no character can compete with Sunday,,,, he is perfect. ✨

I'm happy you could enjoy Penacony despite being spoiled! The entirety of the Luofu storyline was spoiled for me, but I still enjoyed it because I got to fight Phantylia. She's so pretty uuwuwaaa. >w< that aside, I was also blushing whenever there was a scene with Sunday. I've taken so many screenshots of him,,, it's crazy how one man can rot my brain so intensely, but this is no different than my adoration for Scara and Azul. orz

The tuning ability AAAAAAAAAAA. That entire scene was so tense. I loved it. Poor Aventurine really didn't stand a chance. T_T Sunday plays 4D chess; it's impossible to beat him. That's such a brilliant idea,,,, Sunday using his tuning ability on you. The way you slowly but surely adopt different thoughts as your brain feels like it's burning. Inevitably, just as birds crash to their deaths, you will love him.

The Golden Hour model..... omg I had the same thought when Aventurine was shrunk and put inside it. Sunday who peers down at you and you're nothing more than a tiny ant from his perspective, perfectly palm-sized. He would treat you like a little doll and put you in all kinds of outfits, and you have no choice but to remain still because he could crush you between two fingers if he so pleases. Maybe he builds a small cage for you so that he can keep you at his bedside when he sleeps. :D

THOSE QUESTIONS!!!! I couldn't believe it, but I was also agreeing with him. It was a moment of, "Hold on. Let him keep talking." When Sunday also said that all days should be rest days (Sundays), I realized he may have been cooking with that one. ;;;;; self-aware Sunday is such a yummy thought... he's not asking the Trailblazer these questions; he's asking you, the person behind the Trailblazer. aaaaa it really is psychological torment. >_<

Tuning to make you cum without even lifting a finger or touching you...... omg that's genius. The way he'd be so coy and self-satisfied,,, smiling at you... maybe even doing that cute, sinister chuckle of his under his breath. He would be so mischievous with that once he realizes just how wonderful it is seeing you come apart from something like this. Sunday who becomes a little too attached to teasing you!!!!

AAAAAA your thoughts are all so scrumptious...... orz orz I'm eating them up like they're to be my last meal. The confessional scene is burned into my brain forever. Even now, I'm still shocked that such a beautiful character like Sunday exists. Nothing can ever surpass the greatness that is the confessional scene and all of Sunday's religious symbolism!!!!! >:D

AND THAT HIMEKO QUOTE!!!!! I also saved it as soon as I read it,,,, the "strong conviction and a desire for dominance." Himeko, you cannot do this to me.... making such an observation like that!!!!! It's dangerous for my heart. (๑﹏๑//) dom Sunday........... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[miilkyrolls]

okay fine, Murder at homecoming, YOU WIN

so i finally finished MaH after putting off continuing past chapter 1 since like...february and, i almost used this book as a diamond mine cause i preemptively was like "this looks lame 😒"

... i came, i laughed, i gasped, i yelled, i cried and i left... then i CAME BACK BECAUSE HOLY MOTHER OF REPLAY-ABILITY BATMAN🥲

but no this book hits right where it needed too. I know one of the biggest upsets people have with MaH is A) the villain being guessable and B) not solving Perdita's disappearance and sorta C/ B.2) it being a standalone. and imo for A, that's up to you to feel that way. imo cause choices is a visual form of content, it's kinda hard to have genuinely surprising "twist" villains cause the visuals already clue you into who done-did it unless they pull the twist straight out they ass(i feel this way about movies and shows too. the only way surprises genuinely get me is in books or podcasts, so non visual entertainment)

and B/C, i actually think NOT solving perdita's story AND making it a standalone was actually very mature of PB (first and possibly last time i'll ever say that in this day and age 💀). it's possible they might've made it their next teen drama series if they had the budget. But unfortunately it's honestly realistic. unfortunately a lot of women go missing and rarely do they get found alive and in a short amount of time (esp if you have as a bipoc mc/ perdita). it's an extremely tragic cookie crumble that unfortunately a lot of mysteries in our lives often take us our entire lives to solve and a lot of them we'll never solve in our lifetime. it's a great paradox / parallel to gabbie's death. it took us all of say 4/5 months (cause in the US, most schools go on winter break in late December) to solve with justice being fairly swift, fair, and harsh but unfortunately a lot of victims don't get their day for a long while, if ever. it's a healthy ying and yang of enjoying fictional justice but it being unrealistic with acknowledging the devastation of losing real victims while acknowledging those lost and their unsung stories that we should never completely give up on their days to come. (ofc however, i hc that perdita is still alive and uncovered corruption in the city and knew that making her family deal with legal repercussions would make their lives more difficult and be ostracized by the elites of Beachwood, so she just left and changed her identity. i like to think she did it also cause MC deserved to have a normal teenhood and not be ousted for her actions)

also i love the open and candid conversations around the treatment of queer children, bipoc mistreatment , misogyny, sa and grief. idk why but the ability to choose if you'd experienced homophobia/ transphobia based on your pronouns and who you've romanced, and tyler talking about thinking he was straight before meeting us (i had a masc body) idk why but i like that touch. i feel like PB kinda grazes over the aspect of being queer / trans and the concept of love, coming out, and society acceptance when your same sex romancing/ nonbinary so it's real shocking when they actually..idk address that thing😭. it's nice to have characters acknowledging their sexuality rather then just be automatically playersexual and everyone around them is just immediately accepting/ suddenly bigotry just seems to evaporate for mc's life/ society

also also, WE CAN BE POLY AND LIKE ITS CALLED POLY AND EVERYONE IS HAPPY AND THE LI WE DON'T CHOOSE AREN'T FORCED ONTO US/ GIVEN AS A OPTION

smaller things: i like the heavy usage of sound effects, idk why but i do. i like the flashbacks into mc's and perdita's relationship, the mix of free and paid clues that are non linear, STEVIE (yes she needs her own category)

overall: 9.2/10. i really like this book, it's going on my personal shelf next to the likes of crimes of passion (minus proposal...), Queen B, big sky country, blood bound, immortal desires 1, and with every heartbeat for my good book shelf