#it was a lot more different that i anticipated
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natsaffection · 2 days ago
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Redline. pt 6 | N.R
Older!Motorsportboss!Natasha x Younger!Racing!Driver!Reader
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Warnings: Age gap (N= 32, r=23), 18+! MINORS DNI! sexual tension, trauma, violence, crashs
Word count: 12,1k
A/N: Okay…a really great time has now come to an end. I want to thank everyone who interacted with the fic, it literally blew up so much, I never expected it. I gained so many new people here and some lovely anons because of it, and I’m truly grateful. Thank you!
I hope I made the ending worthy of the story (even though Tumblr shortened it due to the word limit). I really hope it doesn’t feel too rushed. 🫶🏼🍾
Part 5
1 Month later
You were lying in Natasha’s bed scrolling through your phone, half-awake when the articles started popping up.
Romanoff’s Favorite – The Relationship Between Natasha and Her Rising Star.
Not Just Business? Photos Capture Natasha Romanoff’s Rare Smile at Y/N’s Victory.
More Than Just Racing? The Paddock Buzzes Over Y/N and Natasha’s Dynamic.
Your stomach twisted. It wasn’t new that people speculated about you and Natasha. The media was always looking for a story. Always waiting for something to tear apart.
But this? This was the first time they had proof. There were pictures.. Natasha, standing with the team, a champagne glass in hand, watching you on the podium. Natasha, smiling. Actually smiling. Natasha, looking at you like you were the only thing that mattered. Your breath caught. Oh, fuck…
“You’re up early.”
You nearly jumped at the sound of Natasha’s voice. She was leaning against the doorway, arms crossed, still in the loose sweats she wore when she wasn’t dressed to terrify the entire paddock.
“Did you see this?” you blurted out, shoving your phone in her direction.
Natasha arched an eyebrow, stepping closer to take the device from your hand. She scanned the articles, lips pressing into a thin line. “Of course they’d make a story out of this.” she muttered.
“This is bad..” you groaned, rubbing your hands over your face. “The press conference today is going to be a fucking disaster.”
Natasha hummed. Then, to your absolute horror, she smirked. “What?” you demanded.
She tilted her head slightly, tossing your phone onto the bed before leaning in closer, so close that you could feel her breath against your cheek. “You’re nervous.” she murmured, clearly amused.
“Of course I am, Natasha, this is a mess-”She cut you off with a chuckle, straightening up. “Let them talk.”
Your stomach flipped. She wasn’t worried. She wasn’t freaking out. She was enjoying this.
“You’re not serious..”
Natasha shrugged. “It’s inevitable. They were always going to figure it out.”
You blinked. “Figure what out?”
Her smirk widened, but she didn’t answer. Instead, she turned towards the door, pausing just long enough to glance at you over her shoulder.
“Get dressed. We have a press conference.”
The room was buzzing with anticipation by the time you stepped in. Cameras flashed, reporters murmured among themselves, and the air carried the weight of a dozen unanswered questions. The energy was different today, sharper, more expectant. You knew exactly why.
Natasha walked beside you, her presence as commanding as ever, a steady force in the chaos. Dressed in her usual sleek suit, she radiated an untouchable authority, but there was something else today. Something in the way she moved, the way her gaze flickered across the room before settling on you.
She was prepared. Always. But this wasn’t just about the race anymore. You took your seat, adjusting the mic in front of you, your fingers brushing over the cold surface as the press officer nodded for the first question.
A journalist from Racing Line leaned forward, eyes sharp with intrigue. “Y/n, first of all, congratulations on your win yesterday. A phenomenal drive. But beyond that, there’s been a lot of talk about your dynamic with your team principal.”
He paused, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “Care to comment on the pictures circulating? Romanoff looking unusually pleased with your performance?”
You clenched your jaw, pulse spiking. Of course. The photos had been everywhere this morning. Natasha, standing at the pit wall, watching you with a look that was unmistakably soft. For her, at least. And then on the podium, the way she’d lingered, the rare glimpse of a smile.
Natasha’s presence beside you remained steady. No reaction. Just sharp focus, like she was calculating every possible outcome of this moment. You exhaled slowly, forcing a small smirk as you leaned forward. “I think any team principal would be happy when their driver wins.” you said, voice level, playful even. “It’s kind of their job.”
A few chuckles echoed through the room, but the journalist wasn’t backing down. “True, but this seemed more personal. Some might say.. more invested than usual.”
You barely had time to process it before Natasha spoke. “If you’re implying that I don’t take every win personally, then you clearly don’t know me.” she said coolly, her gaze locking onto the journalist with a pointed sharpness. “I push my drivers to win. That’s my job. Y/n delivers. That’s hers.”
The response was effortless, perfectly calculated to dismiss any rumors while still standing firm. But you knew her too well now. The way her fingers tapped lightly against her leg under the table, the slight tick in her jaw, it was irritation masked under absolute control.
Another journalist jumped in. “Y/n, this season has been a defining one for you, but given your history with crashes and the challenges you’ve faced, do you ever feel like you still have something to prove?”
Your stomach twisted at the question, but you didn’t let it show. You straightened, fingers flexing against the table. “Every driver on this grid has something to prove. That’s why we’re here. But if you’re asking if I doubt myself? No. I wouldn’t be sitting here if I did.”
The room went still for a second, the weight of your words settling before another voice cut in. “Natasha, you’ve worked with some of the best drivers in the sport. Where does Y/n rank among them?”
Your breath caught. Oh. That was a trap. Natasha didn’t play favorites. Ever. Her entire brand of leadership was built on ruthlessness, on absolute control, on never showing anything that could be perceived as bias. But then, she turned her head slightly, eyes locking with yours, just for a fraction of a second.
“She fights harder than most..” Natasha said finally, voice even, measured. But there was something in her tone, something more. “And no. She hasn’t finished proving herself yet.”
The tension in the room shifted. You weren’t sure if anyone else caught the unspoken weight behind her words. But you did. The questions continued, each one sharp, some pressing about the championship fight, others about your rivalry with Walker, about strategy, about what came next. You answered, playing the game, maintaining your composure, even when the topic of your previous crash came up again.
By the time you made it back to the team’s facility, you barely managed to get your stuff done before heading straight for Natasha’s office, needing to breathe, to think, and the moment you stepped inside, she was already there.
Natasha stood near her desk, arms crossed, watching you. The way her eyes scanned you, calm, assessing made your stomach twist. She had felt it. She had seen it.
“What’s wrong?”
You groaned, running a hand through your hair. “It’s just..They talked like they know anything!”
“They don’t.”
You huffed, pacing the room. “But they think they do! They’re making this entire thing into some huge scandal, ‘Natasha Romanoff smiles? Must be because of Y/N L/N-
Natasha smirked slightly. “It’s not entirely false.”
You froze mid-step, whipping around to face her. “Natasha.”
She shrugged, completely unbothered. “What?”
Your frustration only grew. “How are you so calm about this? You know what people are saying-”
“I don’t care what people are saying.” Her voice was steady, unwavering. You stared at her, jaw tight, hands clenched at your sides. “Well, I do.”
Silence stretched between you till Natasha moved. One second, she was standing by her desk, and the next, she was right in front of you, so close you could feel the warmth radiating from her.
“You do?” she murmured, voice dropping. You swallowed hard. She tilted her head slightly, studying you, her gaze flickering to your lips for just a second before locking back onto your eyes. “What exactly is it that’s bothering you?”
Your breath hitched. “The attention?” she continued, her voice softer now. “The rumors? Or the fact that they might be right?”
Your stomach twisted, your body betraying you with the way your pulse spiked. She saw it. Of course, she saw it. Her fingers brushed against your wrist, light, teasing, but enough to make you shiver.
“I..” You didn’t know what you were going to say. Didn’t get the chance to find out. Because Natasha took another step forward, crowding into your space, her presence consuming, her scent, leather and something unmistakably her wrapping around you like a trap you didn’t want to escape.
“Tell me.” she murmured, her breath brushing against your cheek. You swallowed hard, your heart hammering against your ribs. You could lie. You should lie. But you didn’t. Instead, you whispered, “I don’t know what this is..”
Natasha’s lips curved into a smirk, but her eyes softened just enough that your chest ached. “You will.” And then she kissed you. Slow. Purposeful. Like she had decided. Like she had always known. And for once, you stopped thinking.
Race 22
The moment you crossed the finish line, your grip on the steering wheel tightened. P2. Not the win, but damn close. And after the chaos of the rain, the battle with Walker, and the near spin that nearly sent you into the barriers, you’d take it.
“P2, Y/n! Well done!” Your race engineer’s voice crackled through the radio, but there was something else beneath it. A small pause.
Then Natasha. “Good job, Y/n.” her voice was controlled, professional, but you swore there was something more. A flicker of pride just under the surface. “You handled the conditions well.”
You bit the inside of your cheek, a slow grin tugging at your lips as you leaned back against the seat, adrenaline still coursing through your veins. P2. The points were crucial, but more than that? Your parents were here today.
You knew exactly where they were standing in the paddock, right at the edge, watching from behind the barriers. Your dad had always been more subtle with his pride, but you could imagine the small nod of approval he was giving right now. Your mother, on the other hand, had probably been clutching his arm the entire race, barely breathing each time you overtook.
You let out a breathless laugh, shaking your head as you pulled into the pit lane, the sound of the crowd still roaring around you. The podium celebration was nothing short of euphoric. The champagne bottle was cold against your palm, the pressure inside ready to burst. You popped it, aiming the spray at the crowd, the golden bubbles soaking into your race suit as you laughed, high off the victory, the energy, the moment.
Walker was there, of course. You could feel his presence, could practically sense his frustration at not clinching the championship today. It fueled you. And then, the press again. It happened fast. The podium celebrations ended, and before you could even get a second to breathe, the paparazzi descended.
“Y/N! P2 today, how do you feel after that battle with Walker?”
You expected the questions. You were prepared for them. You kept walking, still riding the high, your team’s mechanics clapping you on the back as you moved toward the garage.
“Were you worried about the rain conditions?”
“Your spin almost cost you the podium- what was going through your mind?”
You answered, giving them just enough without revealing too much, your voice still buzzing with the rush of the race.
“The next race is at Silverstone. Your Silverstone. Are you ready for that?”
You froze. The air in your lungs thinned, and suddenly, the roaring of the crowd, the flashing cameras, the overwhelming everything..felt too loud. The wreckage. The fire. It slammed into you all at once. You blinked hard, forced the memories down, and made yourself breathe. Your voice, when it came, was calm. Controlled. “It’s just another race.”
A lie. But one the world didn’t need to know. You started moving again, Natasha keeping pace beside you, her presence unwavering. She didn’t say anything, but you felt her watching. And when the press had finally been left behind, when the cameras were no longer in your face, when it was just you and her walking toward the garage, she finally spoke.
“You okay?”
You nodded, too quickly. “Yeah, let’s go.” Her silence was sharp. Calculating. You knew she didn’t believe you.
The road stretched ahead in quiet darkness, the soft hum of the engine filling the air. The city lights flickered past the windows, casting brief flashes of neon against your skin. The rain had stopped, but the roads were still damp, the reflections of streetlights shimmering on the slick asphalt. You barely noticed. Your mind was elsewhere.
Silverstone.
Every corner. Every turn. Every shadow of the past that lurked beneath the floodlights of that track. You could see it. Feel it.
The way the car had snapped away from you in that fraction of a second, how the wall had rushed toward you. The helplessness, the terror. The excruciating pain that had followed. The fire. The pressure of the seatbelts locking you in place as you fought to stay conscious. The memories clawed at the edges of your mind, threatening to pull you under.
Would it feel the same next weekend? Would you hesitate when you reached that same turn? Would you flinch- You didn’t get to spiral too far before a hand suddenly waved something in front of your face.
A phone.
You blinked, snapping back into the present. The scent of Natasha’s car, the low music playing through the speakers, the woman herself sitting beside you with an expectant look.
“Order food.” Natasha instructed, smirking slightly. You furrowed your brows, still trying to shake off the ghosts of your past thoughts. “What?”
Natasha waved the phone again. “Food. You know, the thing we eat to survive?”
“Right..” you muttered, grabbing the device and pulling up the app. You scrolled through options, selecting your usual choices, though your mind was still distant. It wasn’t until you reached the address confirmation screen that you hesitated.
“Nat…” you said slowly, glancing toward her. “This isn’t the track. Where are we going?”
Natasha’s smirk widened as she turned onto a quieter road, one that led away from the team facilities and the usual places you stayed.
“My place.” she answered simply.
You stilled. Natasha’s home. You had spent countless nights together, hotels, at Natasha’s track, but never at Natasha’s place. It was private. Personal. Hers.
You swallowed. “Your place?”
“That’s what I said.”
You could feel your heart beating a little faster. Natasha flicked you a knowing glance, clearly sensing the shift in your demeanor. Then, with a devilish smirk, she added, “Relax, printsessa. If you’re thinking about it, I wouldn’t have bothered ordering food.”
Your face heated instantly. “I-I was not thinking about..!”
Natasha let out a low, amused chuckle, her fingers drumming lightly against the steering wheel. “Sure you weren’t.” You groaned, slumping back into your seat. God, this woman.
When you arrived, Natasha pulled into the private driveway of a sleek, modern home tucked behind high walls and tall trees. The moment you stepped inside, you were hit with a sense of quiet intimacy.
The place was hers. Clean, organized, yet undeniably lived-in. The walls were lined with dark wooden shelves, books and old records stacked neatly. But what caught your attention the most were the photos.
One by the entrance, Natasha in her racing suit, helmet under her arm, a victorious smirk on her face. Another by the bookshelf, her with her family, a rare moment of unguarded happiness shining in her eyes. A framed picture of her and another driver, a teammate from years ago, grinning with champagne in hand. You took it all in, feeling something warm settle in your chest. This was Natasha’s life. The parts she didn’t show to just anyone.
“You gonna stand there all night?”
You turned to find Natasha leaning against the counter, arms crossed, watching you with that same infuriatingly attractive smirk.
“Just looking…” you murmured.
Natasha’s expression softened. “I don’t let just anyone in here, you know.”
Yeah, you knew. Your eyes met, and the air between you shifted. The teasing edge faded, replaced by something warmer. Deeper.
Natasha pushed off the counter and stepped toward you, slow and deliberate. You tilted your head up, your breath hitching slightly as Natasha’s fingers brushed against your jaw.
The kiss started soft, gentle, unrushed. But as soon as your hands found Natasha’s waist, pulling her closer, the heat between you ignited. Natasha’s hands were firm, sliding against your waist, gripping just enough to make your stomach tighten with anticipation. The kiss deepened, needier, hungrier. Your fingers tangled into Natasha’s jacket, pulling her in-
The doorbell rang, and you both froze. Natasha exhaled through her nose, dropping her forehead against your shoulder. “Are you kidding me?”
You laughed breathlessly, still gripping her jacket. “Food’s here.”
Natasha groaned but finally pulled away, muttering something about terrible timing as she went to get the food.
You sat on the couch, food spread between you, the glow of warm light casting soft shadows on the walls. The tension between you had shifted, not gone, but different now. It simmered beneath the surface, intertwined with something softer, more vulnerable.
Natasha watched you pick at your food, your fingers tracing absent patterns against the edge of the takeout container. You weren’t fully present, still lost in thought.
“Talk to me.” Natasha said quietly, resting her arm against the back of the couch.
You hesitated, then exhaled, setting your food aside. “It’s just…”
Natasha said nothing, just watching and waiting. “It’s not just another race..” you continued. “I know I should be past it by now, but… I don’t know…”
“You don’t just ‘get past’ something like that.” Natasha interrupted gently.
You huffed a soft laugh. “You’d think nearly dying would be enough for me to quit racing.”
Natasha tilted her head. “But you didn’t.”
“Yeah…” Natasha reached out, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. Her fingers lingered a second longer than necessary, her touch soft. “Because it’s who you are. You’re not afraid of fighting for what you want.”
You met her eyes, something settling in your chest. Then Natasha smirked. “And for the record? You’ll be fine. I’ll be there the whole time.”
You let out a genuine smile. “Thank you.”
“Happy to help.”
The tension had lightened, but it still buzzed beneath the surface, the kind of pull that never really went away between you. Then, in one smooth, calculated move, you climbed onto Natasha’s lap. Enough with depression.
Natasha raised a brow, but didn’t move, didn’t protest, just watched. You settled yourself, your legs bracketing Natasha’s hips, your hands pressing lightly against the older woman’s shoulders.
“Thought you were nervous.” Natasha murmured, tilting her head up slightly, amusement flickering in her green eyes.
You smirked. “Maybe you’re just really good at distracting me.”
Natasha exhaled slowly, her fingers instinctively settling against your waist. “Mm. And what exactly do you think you’re doing?” Natasha asked, voice low, teasing, her hands barely moving, just resting there, warm and steady. You leaned in slightly, your lips just close enough to brush against Natasha’s ear. “Distracting myself.”
Your voice was soft, sultry..a promise and a challenge all at once. Natasha exhaled, her grip tightening just the slightest bit. But she didn’t move to take control. No..she was going to let you play your game.
And you took your time. You let your fingertips graze down Natasha’s arms, featherlight, teasing, slow. You leaned in again, pressing an almost nonexistent kiss just below Natasha’s jawline, barely there, just enough to make Natasha’s breath hitch, before pulling back again with an innocent expression.
Natasha smirked, tilting her head. “You’re dangerous, printsessa.”
You smiled, shifting just enough that you could feel the reaction you were pulling from Natasha. A slow, deliberate roll of your hips, just a fraction of movement, but it was enough to make Natasha’s jaw tighten. She was watching. Letting you put on a show. Not stopping you. Not rushing you.
You ran a hand up Natasha’s chest, fingers lingering at the collar of her shirt. You played with the fabric for a second before leaning down, just close enough that your lips barely brushed.
Natasha wasn’t chasing. Not yet. You smirked. “Something wrong, boss?”
Natasha exhaled slowly, her control almost infuriating. “Not at all.”
A challenge. You leaned down again, pressing a slow, unhurried kiss to the corner of Natasha’s mouth, not quite giving in.
Natasha’s grip on you tightened just slightly. You were playing with fire now. You kissed along Natasha’s jaw, soft, teasing, dragging it out. You could feel Natasha’s patience thinning, the way her breath was a little heavier, the way her fingers dug just slightly into your hips.
You smirked against her skin. You were winning. Or at least you thought you were, until Natasha’s hands suddenly shifted, flipping your positions in one swift move. Now, you were on your back against the couch, Natasha leaning over you, hands braced on either side of your head.
You swallowed. Your heart stuttered and Natasha smirked. “You think I don’t know exactly what you’re doing?”
You licked your lips, looking up at her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about..”
Natasha leaned in, not kissing you, just hovering, watching. Watching your breath hitch, watching you squirm just slightly under her gaze.
“I let you have your fun..” Natasha murmured. “Now, it’s my turn.”
You barely had time to react before Natasha’s lips finally crashed into yours. This time, there was no hesitation. Natasha kissed you like she was claiming you, like she was making up for every second you had made her wait. It was deep, hungry.
Her hands moved, no longer still, no longer restrained. One gripping your waist, the other sliding up your back, pulling you in as close as possible.
You exhaled sharply, your fingers digging into Natasha’s shoulders, trying to keep up. You had started the game. But Natasha was the one finishing it. You barely noticed the way Natasha’s lips moved lower, kissing along your jaw, trailing down just enough to make your toes curl.
Until..The phone rang.
The sound cut through the moment like a blade. You both froze, Natasha’s lips still pressed against your skin. You groaned. “Nooo!!”
Natasha let out a low chuckle against your collarbone before pressing a quick kiss there and pulling back. She reached for the phone, but you grabbed her wrist, shaking your head. “No. It can wait.”
Natasha smirked. “Impatient?”
You narrowed your eyes. “Don’t start something you’re not going to finish!”
The phone rang again. Natasha sighed, glancing at the screen. She smirked, then, a knowing, smug little smile.
“Oh, this one can’t wait.” she murmured, amusement flickering in her gaze.
You frowned, still breathless. “Why?”
Natasha picked up the call, holding you in place. “Because, it’s for you.” she murmured against your lips before answering.
Here voice was low, calm, businesslike..echoed from the hallway as she wrapped up whatever conversation had interrupted you. You barely registered the words, still feeling the ghost of Natasha’s hands on your skin, the heat that had been building, building, building before that damn phone had stolen her attention away. The soft sound of the phone being set down made you glance toward the doorway.
Natasha was back.
She stood at the edge of the dimly lit living room, watching. For a moment, neither of you spoke. Then, without a word, Natasha moved. She crossed the room with the same quiet, predatory grace that made her dangerous both on and off the track. Unrushed and in control.
You barely had time to process it before Natasha was climbing over you, bracing her weight on the couch, her hands framing your face, her knee pressing just enough between your legs. The breath hitched in your throat.
Natasha smirked. “Now.” she murmured, her voice like velvet and steel, “where were we?” And this time, nothing stopped her from finishing what she started.
The soft morning light filtered through the curtains, casting golden streaks across the sheets. You stirred, feeling the warmth of the bed beneath you, the soreness that came with exactly how last night had gone. A lazy, satisfied smile curled on your lips as you stretched, fingers reaching for the familiar presence beside you-
Only to find empty sheets. You cracked one eye open, frowning slightly. Natasha’s side of the bed was cool. She had been up for a while. You groaned, rolling onto your stomach, letting yourself melt into the mattress for a moment longer before you finally forced yourself upright. Your muscles ached in the best way, your body still humming from the night before.
That’s when you saw her. Natasha stood near the dresser, already fully dressed, the perfect picture of composure. She fastened the last button of her team-issued shirt, the usual red and black livery fitted perfectly to her frame, like the night before hadn’t just happened.
You huffed, your voice still rough with sleep. “You really have a habit of getting up and leaving.”
Natasha glanced over, a small smirk tugging at her lips. “I didn’t leave.” she countered smoothly.
You raised a brow. “You weren’t in bed when I woke up. Feels the same.”
Natasha chuckled, stepping closer. She leaned down, one hand braced against the mattress, the other tilting your chin up so your eyes met.
“I finished what I started, didn’t I?” she murmured, her tone edged with amusement.
Heat flashed through you at the memory. Natasha took full advantage of your silence, pressing a brief but thorough kiss to your lips before pulling back, still smirking.
“Come on..” she said, straightening. “We have to leave.”
You groaned, flopping back onto the pillow. “Too earlyyy..”
Natasha nudged the blanket off of you, ignoring the way you tried to pull it back up. “It’s not early, you just don’t want to get up.”
You peeked up at her, eyes playful, teasing. “And whose fault is that?”
Natasha only tilted her head, her smirk deepening. “Mine, obviously.”
You rolled onto your back with a sigh. “Where are we even going?”
Natasha simply grabbed her phone, checked something quickly, then looked at you. “You’ll see.”
You sat in the passenger seat, your fingers curled into your lap, your gaze fixed out the window as the world passed by in a blur of muted colors. The closer you got, the more the tension coiled in your chest, wrapping tight around your ribs.
You had already seen it. From a distance. The track. The place where it happened. Even from far away, it stood like a specter in the distance, a shadow of something you had never fully escaped. The floodlights, the sharp turns you once knew like the back of your hand, the long straights that had once filled your veins with nothing but adrenaline.
But now..now, it was different. You hadn’t set foot here since the crash. Since you had nearly lost everything. Your chest tightened. The closer you got, the harder it became to breathe, the air suddenly too thick, too heavy. Your fingers curled against your thigh, your body going rigid as the memories threatened to surface.
Natasha sensed it. Of course she did. Without a word, she slowed the car, pulling over to the side of the empty road leading toward the track’s private entrance. The engine idled in the quiet, but she didn’t move to keep driving.
Instead, she turned her head. “Hey.”
You exhaled shakily, keeping your eyes forward. Natasha didn’t push. She just watched, her voice low, steady. Grounding.
“Look at me.”
You hesitated, your pulse still hammering. But you turned. And there it was. The thing that always managed to steady you no matter how loud the world got. Her eyes. Green. Certain. Unshaken. Like there was not a single doubt in her mind.
“You’re safe.” Natasha said softly, reaching over, her fingers lightly brushing against yours. “Nothing’s going to happen.”
You swallowed. “I know that.”
“Do you?” Natasha challenged gently, her fingers tightening just slightly. “Because you’re acting like you’re back in that car two years ago.”
You pressed your lips together, inhaling sharply through your nose. The older woman’s thumb traced slow circles against your skin, her voice unwavering. “You already won this battle, Detka. You made it out.”
You closed your eyes, exhaling. “I thought I was past this. I hate it.”
“You will be.” Natasha assured. “But not by running from it.”
Silence settled between you, thick, heavy. But Natasha waited. She always did. And eventually, you nodded. Natasha studied you for another beat, then, without another word, she put the car back in gear and drove.
The entrance to the track loomed closer. Your fingers curled against your knee again, but you kept your breathing steady. Inhaling, exhaling. The gates opened as Natasha pulled through, leading into the pit lane, the vast emptiness of the track stretching out before you.
She stopped the car near the garage. For a second, neither of you moved. Then, Natasha unbuckled her seatbelt, stepping out. You watched as she rounded the car, her movements unhurried, purposeful. When Natasha reached your door, she opened it, the cool air from outside slipping in. And then, she stepped back.
She didn’t say anything. Just tilted her head slightly, gesturing to the driver’s seat. Your heart stuttered. You looked at Natasha, eyes wide, uncertain. But Natasha’s gaze didn’t waver.
You took a slow breath as you slid into the driver’s seat, fingers wrapping around the wheel. It felt familiar. The weight of it, the smooth material beneath your hands..it should have been comforting.
But it wasn’t. Not here. Not on this track.
Natasha shut the door behind you. She didn’t say anything, she didn’t have to. She simply slid into the passenger seat, settling in like this was any other drive. Like this wasn’t the place where everything fell apart.
You swallowed, shifting the car into gear. You started slow. The track was eerily quiet, so unlike the last time you had been here. No roaring engines, no deafening crowd, no radio crackling in your ear. Just the low hum of the car beneath you, the whisper of tires on asphalt.
But you already felt it. The weight. The pull of the past creeping in. Every turn was one you had memorized. Your body still knew the angles, the braking points, the racing line that had once been second nature to you. But then, The trees. They appeared in the distance. And you knew. You knew what was coming.
The curve.
Your breath caught, your grip on the wheel tightening. Far before you even reached it, you saw it. You saw everything. The way the road bent, the familiar angle of the wall. You saw the moment your car had lost control, the sickening snap of the tires, the helpless spin.
You saw fire. And suddenly, it wasn’t just memories. The beep of machines. The sterile scent of antiseptic. Pain. A deep, agonizing pain that wrapped around your body like it would never leave. But that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was the voices. Your parents. You couldn’t open your eyes fully, but you heard them.
“Will she walk again?” Your mother’s voice, raw, desperate.
A pause. Too long. Then, the doctor’s voice, flat, measured, carefully spoken like he was trying not to shatter them completely.
“We don’t know yet.”
Not a real answer. Not the one they wanted. Silence. Your father, his voice quieter, heavier. “You mean she might n-not?”
Another pause. “We can’t say never. But the spinal damage, the nerve trauma, her body went through extreme conditions. It will be a long recovery. She may regain movement, but returning to full functionality? To racing?” He shook his head. “It’s unlikely.”
You wanted to scream. You weren’t a body. You weren’t something to assess. You were here. You could hear them. You could feel the pain, the weight of your own broken body on the hospital bed. But you couldn’t move.
Your mother’s breath hitched. “S-She just turned twenty-one..” she whispered. “She..she’s supposed to have her whole life ahead of her!! Her career. Her dreams. You’re saying that’s just- gone-“
“You’ll race again!” It wasn’t a doctor. It wasn’t your father. It was Natasha. Her voice was sharp, unwavering. Unshaken. You gasped, staggering back into reality. You blinked rapidly, hands trembling at your sides. The track was still there. The sky was still open, the wind still cool against your skin. You weren’t in that hospital bed. You weren’t trapped. You were here. Alive. Walking. Racing. And..Natasha was here, too.
You blinked rapidly, gasping as reality slammed back into you, but it wasn’t enough. The car felt too small, too tight. The air too thick. You needed to get out. Now.
Before Natasha could say anything else, you ripped off your seatbelt and shoved open the door. The rush of cool air hit you as you stumbled out, barely keeping your balance as you walked away, fast.
Your boots scraped against the asphalt as you stopped a few feet from the car, your back turned to the curve. You placed your hands on your knees, trying to breathe, trying to focus on the present, but the past kept clawing at you.
You didn’t turn around. You couldn’t, not yet. But you heard Natasha’s breath as she stepped closer, heard the patience in her voice as she spoke.
“You’re not there anymore, Y/n.”
You swallowed, your throat dry. “I..know.”
Natasha didn’t correct you, didn’t push you to turn around just yet. Instead, she took another step, coming close enough that your arms nearly brushed.
“You think this track is what almost killed you.” Natasha murmured. “But it’s not.”
You closed your eyes, your breath shaky. “You made it out.” Natasha continued. “You fought. You survived. And now…”
You felt the warmth of Natasha’s fingers grazing against yours. “You came back.”
Your chest tightened. You exhaled. Slowly, cautiously, you turned around. And this time, You didn’t look away. The fear was still there, pressing against your ribs. The memories still whispered in the back of your mind. But they weren’t pulling you under anymore. They weren’t controlling you.
“Go finish your round.”
You glanced back at the curve. Then at Natasha. She just raised a brow, her smile soft, knowing. Like she already knew your answer. You inhaled deeply. And then, you nodded.
Without a word, Natasha gestured back toward the car. And this time, you got back in. You settled into the driver’s seat, your hands firm on the wheel. Your pulse still pounded, but this time, it wasn’t from fear.
It was from something else. Determination. Natasha shut the door beside you and leaned in slightly through the open window. “You good?”
You exhaled slowly, your grip tightening. “Yeah.” Natasha studied you for a beat, green eyes sharp, assessing. Then, without another word, she stepped back. You pressed your foot to the accelerator.
The car moved. The track stretched ahead, the tires gliding smoothly over the asphalt as you built up speed. The engine hummed beneath you, steady and strong, your hands guiding the car as if it was an extension of yourself.
And then, the curve. It came into view, and for a split second, you felt the flicker of hesitation, the whisper of memories trying to crawl back in. But you didn’t let them. Not this time. Your body knew what to do. You adjusted the wheel, keeping your line smooth. You hit the apex.
And you took it cleanly. No fear. No ghosts. Just racing. As you exited the turn, your heartbeat steadied. Your breathing evened. And for the first time since the crash, it felt like yours again. The track. The moment. The control. You slowed as you reached the pit lane, pulling up where Natasha stood waiting. You let out a shaky breath, your fingers flexing against the wheel.
“Again.”
You blinked, catching your breath. “What?”
“Do another lap.” Natasha said, tilting her head. “This time, without stopping.”
You gripped the wheel and pressed your foot to the accelerator, feeling the car respond instantly. The low growl of the engine vibrated through your chest as you sped down the straight, the track stretching endlessly in front of you.
This time, it felt different. This time, there was no fear clawing at your throat. No weight pressing on your chest. No ghosts chasing you. Only you. And the car. Natasha’s words echoed in the back of your mind.
“Again. This time, without stopping.”
So you did. The corners came faster now, the rhythm of the track flowing beneath your fingertips. You moved through each turn with precision, your body and mind in sync, your breathing controlled. Like you had never left. And then, the curve.
It came up ahead, just like before. But this time, you didn’t brace for impact. You didn’t flinch. You didn’t freeze. You just took it. Clean. Smooth. Fast. You barely registered the moment you exited the turn. Because suddenly, it didn’t feel like a monster in the dark. It was just a turn.. Just a part of the track. And you had taken it like you were born for it.
You exhaled, gripping the wheel tighter as you pushed forward. One more sector. One more straight. The finish line appeared before you, this time, not a symbol of survival, but of victory. You crossed it at full speed. And for the first time in years, you felt free. The car rolled to a stop. The sudden silence was almost deafening, the echoes of the lap still buzzing in your ears.
Your hands were still on the wheel. Your heart was still pounding. But you weren’t shaking anymore. You exhaled, letting your head fall back against the seat for just a second before finally pulling yourself together. You pushed the door open, stepping out, the cool air hitting your flushed skin. You turned, and before you could even speak, Natasha was there.
Close and proud. There was no teasing remark. No smug comment. Just a look. A look that said everything. You swallowed, your throat thick. “I did it.”
Natasha’s smirk softened. “You did.”
You blinked up at her, your chest still rising and falling with the weight of everything that had just happened. Natasha studied you for a moment, and, without warning, she reached forward.
Her hands cupped your face, pulling you in. And she kissed you. Slow. Deep. Unrushed. Not like the night before, not with heat, not with hunger. But with something else. Something heavier.
Something that tasted like pride. Like relief. Like I knew you could do it. When you finally pulled apart, Natasha rested her forehead against yours, exhaling softly. “That’s my brave girl.” she murmured. You smiled, breathless. And for the first time in two years, you really believed it.
Race 23
The paddock was alive with the chaotic energy of race day. Engines roaring in the distance, mechanics scrambling over last-minute checks, media teams swarming in every direction. The tension in the air was thick, almost suffocating. But you? You had drowned it all out. Headphones in. Music blasting.
Your fingers tapped against your thigh in rhythm with the beat as you leaned against the side of the garage, eyes closed, trying to steady yourself.
Silverstone.
The track where everything almost ended. You had studied the turns, visualized every sector, forced yourself to relive the crash over and over until it didn’t hold power over you anymore.
At least, that’s what you told yourself. Natasha stood just a few feet away, arms crossed, eyes trained on you, her gaze calculating, unreadable. She was watching. And she wasn’t letting anyone interfere. Every few minutes, someone tried. Engineers, strategists, team personnel, all waiting to talk to you.
To brief you. To check in. To discuss last-minute adjustments. And every single time, Natasha stopped them. One sharp glance. One curt shake of her head. Not now. She wasn’t letting anyone break your focus. She’d made sure everything was in place. That all your data was locked in. That your team was prepped.
That you were untouchable. Until he appeared. “Still seeing the wall in your sleep?”
Your entire body went still. The music still played, but you weren’t listening anymore. Your breath hitched, hands clenching into fists. And that was when Natasha turned.
She saw the way your body stiffened. She saw your reaction. And in less than a second, she was on him. She grabbed him by the front of his race suit, shoved him backwards against the garage wall, the force of it making his head jolt.
Hard. His smirk vanished. Natasha leaned in, her voice a razor-sharp whisper. “I should have done this the moment you put her in the wall last time.”
Walker tried to mask the fear flickering in his eyes, but Natasha saw it. And she fed off it. She tightened her grip, voice deadly calm.
“You think you’re clever?” she murmured. “You think you can get in her head?”
Walker swallowed. “Romanoff-”
“I am not one of these fucking PR reps who’s going to slap you on the wrist and tell you to play nice.” Her nails dug into his race suit, jaw clenching.
Walker scoffed. “You’re losing it..”
Natasha’s lips curled into something dark. “I haven’t even started.”
Cameras were on them. Photographers had gathered outside the garage. Whispers spread like wildfire. But Natasha didn’t care. She was seething. Yelena was the first to try to pull her back. “Nat.” Her voice was sharp. “Let it go.”
But Natasha wasn’t letting go. Not yet. Not until he understood. Not until he felt what she had felt. Not until he knew, without a doubt- That if he touched you again, if he even so much as breathed the wrong way in your direction— She would end him.
“Stay the fuck away from her.”
The second you and Natasha stepped into the privacy of the team garage, the noise of the paddock muffled behind the heavy doors, the weight of what had just happened came crashing down on both of you.
Her jaw was tight, eyes burning with residual fury, her breath coming in short, sharp exhales. She was holding back. Holding everything in. Because she had lost control. And Natasha Romanoff never lost control. The second the doors shut behind you, she yanked her arm free, running a hand through her hair.
You had never seen her like this. Not like this. She had always been calm, sharp, precise. Every move calculated, every emotion locked down.
“Are you out of your fucking mind?” Yelena threw her hands up, her Russian accent thick with frustration. “Are you trying to get suspended before the championship? Or, I don’t know, arrested?”
Natasha didn’t react. She just stood there, silent. Yelena scoffed, shaking her head. “Jesus, Natasha.”
Then she turned to you, eyes scanning you up and down. “And you.” she muttered, gesturing vaguely. “Why the hell are you letting her act like your attack dog?”
You blinked. “I- what?”
“You know she would burn the entire paddock down for you, right?” Yelena said bluntly. “Like, full villain origin story.”
Natasha sighed. “Yelena.”
Yelena ignored her. “You have her wrapped around your little driver finger.”
Your face heated. Natasha shot her sister a warning glare. “I will kill you.”
Yelena smirked. “See? She’s in denial.”
You bit back a laugh, rubbing your face. “Can we focus on the fact that the media just saw that?”
Yelena shrugged. “Oh, yeah, you’re screwed.”
You groaned. Natasha ran a hand over her face. “How bad is it?”
Yelena pulled out her phone and tilted the screen toward you.
BREAKING NEWS: ROMANOFF EXPLODES ON WALKER IN PRE-RACE CONFRONTATION!
“Natasha Romanoff LOSES CONTROL—DRAMA before the final races!”
“TENSION RISES: WALKER VS. L/N, BUT IS ROMANOFF THE REAL FIGHT?”
Before you could say something, Your parents stepped in and Natasha’s blood ran cold. She recognized them instantly. She had met your parents once before, but this? This was different. Your father’s eyes flickered to the scene again behind him, the cameras, the tension, the way Walker was still adjusting his suit, trying to shake off the encounter.
And then? He turned back to you. He searched your face for a moment. And then, he sighed, shaking his head with a small, tired smile. “You never did back down from a fight, did you?”
Your breath hitched. You didn’t realize you had been holding it until then. And for the first time that day, You let out a laugh. Your father stepped forward and pulled you into a hug. And suddenly? You weren’t a racing driver. You weren’t the girl who had just been shoved into the spotlight again.
You weren’t the girl who had almost died here last time. You were just his daughter. And God, you had missed this. When he pulled back, he placed both hands on your shoulders.
“Are you okay?”
You hesitated. Then nodded. And he believed you. Your mother was next. She didn’t hug you. She didn’t smile. But she stepped forward. And that, alone, was enough.
“I still hate this.” The words weren’t cruel. They weren’t judgmental. They were just honest. You exhaled, nodding. “I know.”
She sighed, crossing her arms. “But.”
Your heart stuttered. “But I also know how much you love it.”
She looked at you then, really looked at you. And for the first time since your accident, she saw the joy in your eyes instead of the scars. And when she spoke again, it was softer. “Just promise me you’ll be careful this time.”
Your throat tightened. But you nodded. “I promise.”
Natasha had been standing just a few feet away. She had given you space. But now? She stepped closer, until she was by your side. Your father looked at her. Then at you. And then? A slow smirk. “Romanoff causing trouble for you?”
You let out a soft laugh. And Natasha? For the first time since she nearly killed Walker, her lips twitched into something close to a smile.
“She does that.” And for the first time, your mother didn’t argue. She just sighed. “Then I guess you two are a good match.”
The roar of the crowd was deafening as you sat in your cockpit, hands gripping the wheel with white-knuckled intensity. Even through your helmet, you could hear the thunderous energy of the fans, the commentators hyping up the moment.
“After years of fighting her way back, Y/N L/N is back at Silverstone, the very track that nearly ended her career. And now, she has a chance to take another victory here.”
“The nerves must be unreal. This is the track of her nightmare.”
You exhaled sharply, steadying yourself. This wasn’t just any race. This was Silverstone. The last stepping stone before the championship. And even more than that, it was the race. The one that left scars on your body, that nearly stole everything from you.
Your fingers twitched against the steering wheel, tension coiling in your chest. A voice crackled through the radio.
“Radio check.”
It was Natasha. Firm, steady. The only anchor keeping you from drowning in your own thoughts. You pressed the button on the wheel, your voice tight. “Copy.”
A pause. “You good?”
Your throat was dry. “I don’t know.”
Another pause. Then, softer. “Breathe, Detka. I’m right here with you.”
The Russian curled around you, grounding you. It wasn’t something she used often, only in moments like these, when she knew you needed something solid to hold onto. You inhaled deeply. Held it. Exhaled slowly.
“Just another race.” Natasha murmured, voice smooth. “Just another grid. Just another set of lights. You know what to do.”
You clenched your jaw, nodding slightly. “I know.” But before you could settle into that thought-Walker. He was right in-front of you, P1 on the grid, his presence a venomous reminder that he was still in the fight. You caught a glimpse of him over the halo of your car, his smug expression barely visible under his helmet. Even from here, you knew he was going to make this difficult.
A tap on your helmet made you turn your head, Yelena. She crouched beside your car, her green eyes searching yours. “You ready?”
You scoffed. “Yes.”
She grinned. “Good. Now go kick his ass.”
You smirked, shaking your head. “That’s the plan.”
Natasha’s voice cut through the comms again. “Grid up.”
You pulled your visor down, locked in, fingers twitching on the wheel. This was it. “Let’s hunt.”
Five red lights flickered overhead.
Five… Four… Three…
Your breath caught in your throat.
Two… One…
The world held still.
Lights out.
The explosion of sound and movement was immediate. Engines howled, tires screeched, the smell of burnt rubber filling the air as the pack lunged forward. Your reflexes kicked in, instincts sharper than thought.
“Nice start.” Natasha’s voice was smooth over the radio. “Hold it, don’t rush.”
Turn 1 was pure carnage. Cars dove aggressively, desperate to gain positions before the field settled. You barely had time to process before reacting, threading through the chaos.
Lap 3 emerging worked perfectly.
Lap 7 Box stop. Your team executed flawlessly, barely 2.4 seconds before they released you back into the fray.
“Perfect stop.” Natasha praised, her voice low in your ear.
Lap 10 Walker was directly in front of you, his car a flashing red target in your sights.
“Don’t rush it.” Natasha warned, already anticipating your aggression. “You’ll get him.”
Lap 18. Your breath stilled. The curve. The very turn that had nearly taken your life was right in front of you.
Your fingers clenched around the wheel. Flashes of the past crept in, the moment you lost control. The helpless spin. The wall rushing toward you. The sound of metal crushing.
Your vision blurred for half a second. Terror curled its fingers around your throat. “Breathe.” Natasha’s voice was softer now, private. Just for you. “You’re in control.”
Your chest rose and fell too fast. “Let it go, Y/n.” Natasha coaxed. “This track doesn’t own you anymore. You own it.”
Your breath hitched. The car rocketed toward the turn. This was it. You committed. Full throttle. The car hugged the track, smooth, controlled, perfect. No oversteer. No panic. No fear. A single tear slipped down your cheek. You did it. The pit wall erupted. Mechanics cheered, Yelena whooped in celebration.
Lap 20 You held firm, but he was defending every inch.
Lap 25 Final lap.
He lunged, reckless, aggressive. But you knew him. You baited him into Turn 6, letting him think he had the overtake. At the last second, you switched lines, cutting back perfectly. The move was flawless. You heard the frustration in Walker’s engine as he locked up behind you.
And then, the checkered flag.
“Y/N L/N WINS AT SILVERSTONE!”
Your vision blurred, heart slamming against your ribs. The radio exploded. Shouts. Cheers. Yelena screaming. “You did it.”
You exhaled sharply, swallowing the lump in your throat. You did it.. The car rolled into the pit lane. The moment you stopped, you ripped off the wheel, launching yourself out of the cockpit. A sea of bodies swallowed you, mechanics, engineers, your team, screaming, shaking you, holding you.
Natasha stood at the pit wall, arms crossed, her lips twitching at the corners. And for the first time, in front of the entire world, She smiled. And in that moment, you knew. You weren’t just fighting for yourself anymore. You were fighting for her.
And fuck..You were going to win this championship.
——
You weren’t sure what you were expecting, but when you walked into the team’s headquarters the morning after Silverstone, still buzzing from the victory, you were met with something entirely unfamiliar. Silence. No scheduled briefings. No physical drills. No mechanical debriefs. Just a single message on your phone.
“Meet me at the hangar. Be ready.”
You arrived at the hangar, dressed in your usual training gear, expecting something, anything, resembling a preparation session. But instead, Natasha was standing next to a private jet, leaning against the frame with her arms crossed, watching you approach.
Your brows furrowed. “What’s this?”
She smirked. “Your final week of training.”
You stared at her. “What does that mean?”
She pushed off the frame, stepping closer, voice softer now. “You’ve pushed yourself hard enough, detka. Now, you rest. You reset.”
You blinked. “And you’re deciding that for me?”
She arched a brow, tilting her head. “Do you trust me?”
Your heart clenched at the sincerity in her voice. You swallowed, nodding slowly. “Yes. I do.”
Her smirk returned, this time softer. “Then get in the plane.”
You followed, still confused but knowing better than to question her now. The flight was peaceful. No talk of racing, no debriefs, just the soft hum of the jet’s engines. You sat beside her, fingers drumming idly against your thigh. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”
Natasha didn’t look up from her tablet, scrolling through something unreadable. “Nope.”
You huffed, shifting in your seat. “You know, normal people discuss things like this.”
She smirked but still didn’t look up. “And since when have we been normal?”
You rolled your eyes, leaning back into the plush seat. “Fair point.”
The destination remained a mystery until you landed. When you stepped out of the jet and into the warm, sea-salted air, your breath hitched. A private villa. Hidden away, far from the chaos of the racing world.
“You brought me to an island?” you asked incredulously.
Natasha just grabbed her bag, slinging it over her shoulder. “You needed a reset.”
You blinked. “And your idea of resetting is a literal paradise?”
She glanced at you over her shoulder, smirking. “Would you rather be back at the track?”
You scoffed. “No. Absolutely not.”
Natasha chuckled, shaking her head. “Then shut up and enjoy it.”
For the first time in months, you woke up without an alarm. Without the weight of race strategy meetings, without the looming stress of upcoming battles. Instead, you woke up to the soft rustling of waves, the distant call of seagulls, and the scent of coffee drifting through the open villa.
And her. Natasha was sitting on the patio, her laptop open on the table, a cup of coffee in hand, her eyes flicking between the screen and the ocean. You leaned against the doorframe, watching her, arms crossing over your chest. “Do you ever stop working?”
She hummed, tilting her head in your direction but not looking away from the screen. “Do you ever stop overthinking?”
You scoffed, stepping closer. “Touché.”
She finally looked up, a small smirk tugging at her lips. “Coffee?”
You nodded, sitting down across from her. The moment you took the first sip, you exhaled, the warmth spreading through you. “Okay. Maybe this was a good idea.”
Natasha chuckled. “Told you.”
A comfortable silence settled between you, the waves providing a soothing backdrop. After a moment, Natasha leaned back, closing her laptop. “How are you feeling about Abu Dhabi?”
You hesitated, running a hand through your hair. “I don’t know.”
She didn’t push. Just watched. Waited. You sighed, setting the coffee down. “I feel ready, but also… it feels different now. Everything does.”
Natasha tilted her head. “Because of the championship?”
You swallowed. “Because of you.”
The words slipped out before you could stop them. A beat of silence. Natasha’s expression didn’t change immediately, but there was something in her eyes, something soft, something unreadable. You looked away, suddenly nervous. “I mean—”
“I know.”
You met her gaze again. She exhaled slowly, like she was choosing her words carefully. “I feel it too.”
The confession was quiet. Almost vulnerable. Your breath caught. “Natasha-”
She shook her head, a small smile ghosting her lips. “Not yet. Not before the final race.”
Your chest tightened, but you understood. This..whatever this was, was too big to unpack before the championship was decided. But that didn’t stop you from reaching across the table, from sliding your fingers over hers. And Natasha didn’t stop you either.
The week passed in a haze of quiet moments. Soft touches. Unspoken words. Natasha never pushed you to talk about the race, never brought up Walker, never made you think about anything except being here.
But the night before you left for Abu Dhabi, everything shifted. You stood on the balcony, staring at the ocean, lost in thought. You felt her presence before she spoke. “You’re thinking again.”
You huffed a laugh, shaking your head. “I can’t help it.”
She moved beside you, resting her arms against the railing. “Tell me.”
You swallowed. “What if I lose?”
She didn’t even hesitate. “You won’t.”
You turned your head toward her, searching her face. “How can you be so sure?”
Natasha met your gaze, eyes burning with something fierce. “Because I know you.”
A pause. “And you’re mine.”
Your breath hitched. She turned toward you fully now, stepping closer. The tension between you snapped taut, electricity crackling in the space between. She lifted a hand, fingers brushing against your jaw. “And I don’t lose, dorogaya.”
Your pulse slammed against your ribs. And this time, this time, there were no interruptions. Her lips were on yours before you could even process it, warm, insistent, desperate. You melted into her, hands tangling in her hair, pulling her closer, needing more, needing everything.
The final race was tomorrow. The world was watching. The championship was on the line. But right now? Right now, the only thing that mattered was her. The atmosphere was electric.
Final Race
The Yas Marina Circuit in Abu Dhabi was alive with tension, the air buzzing with anticipation. Fans crowded the grandstands, waving banners, their cheers blending into the deafening roar of engines warming up in the pit lane. The sun dipped lower in the sky, casting golden hues over the track, the last race of the season set to unfold under the lights.
This was it. The championship decider.
You stood in the garage, your fireproof suit already zipped up, helmet in hand, heart pounding in your chest. You had never felt this level of pressure before—every decision, every overtake, every second would determine whether you would leave this track as a world champion.
“Welcome to the final race of the season, the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix! And what a season it has been! It all comes down to this, two contenders, one final battle, and the championship on the line!”
“That’s right! Y/N L/N and Walker have been at war all season, and now, after 23 grueling races, it all leads to this moment. Whoever finishes ahead tonight will be crowned the world champion!”
The camera feed cut to Walker, standing a few garages down, already locked in conversation with his engineers. You caught his gaze for a split second, and he smirked, giving you a mocking two-finger salute.
Your jaw clenched. Natasha, who had been standing beside you, caught the interaction immediately. “Ignore him.” Her voice was firm but steady, grounding you. “He wants to get in your head. Don’t let him.” You exhaled sharply, nodding.
The pre-race ceremony was grand. Fireworks lit up the sky, and the national anthem echoed across the circuit as drivers lined up for introductions. Cameras panned across each contender, zooming in on your face as the commentators continued hyping the moment.
“This is the most anticipated title fight in years. The young challenger versus the reigning champion. Y/N L/N has defied all odds this season, recovering from injury, fighting back from setbacks, and proving she belongs at the top.”
“And let’s not forget the woman behind her success, Natasha Romanoff, the enigmatic and ruthless team principal who rebuilt this team from the ground up. This isn’t just a battle between drivers, it’s a war between philosophies, between two teams that have fought tooth and nail to get here.”
As your name was called, the crowd erupted in cheers. Your stomach twisted with nerves, but you forced a steady breath. Then, Natasha’s hand found your lower back, just for a second, a silent reminder.
“You’re ready for this.” she murmured, barely audible over the noise. You swallowed hard, nodding.
The camera moved to Walker, his confident grin plastered across the screens. He thrived under the spotlight, waving dramatically at the crowd. The moment passed quickly, and soon, you were making your way to the car, slipping into the cockpit for the final time this season.
The formation lap was tense. The weight of the championship sat heavy on your shoulders as you weaved through the turns, warming up the tires, getting a feel for the grip under the lights. Natasha’s voice came through the radio. “Alright, Y/n. This is it. We’ve prepared for this moment all season. You know what to do.”
You exhaled. “I do.”
A pause. Then, softer “I’m proud of you.” Your chest tightened, your grip firming around the wheel. “Let’s win this.”
This was it. The moment everything had been building toward. The last race of the season. The championship on the line. The crowd was deafening, their cheers vibrating through the grandstands, but inside the cockpit, it was just you, the machine, and the voice in your ear.
“Radio check.”
You exhaled, adjusting your grip on the wheel. “Loud and clear.”
A pause. Then, her voice softened, just slightly. “You’ve fought too hard to let this slip away. Start strong. Control the pace. And bring it home.”
Your heart pounded. Natasha had never been this soft over the radio before a race. It settled something in your chest.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
Lights out.
The engine screamed as you launched off the line, your tires gripping perfectly, carrying you smoothly into the first corner. You held your position, P1. Exactly where you needed to be.
Walker was right behind you.
Lap 5
Natasha’s voice crackled through the comms. “He’s pushing early. Don’t let him dictate your race. You control this.”
You kept your breathing steady. “Copy.” Walker was testing you, feinting a move on the inside, but you covered the line perfectly.
Lap 10
“Box, box.”
You dove into the pits, your crew flawless. 2.3 seconds. You rejoined the track in P3, behind two drivers who hadn’t pitted yet. Walker followed, just seconds behind.
“Cold tires. Build them up. He’s going to attack.”
Lap 15
Chaos. Two cars behind you collided violently. A massive impact. Debris scattered across the track. One car spun into the barriers at high speed.
“Safety car.”
Your grip on the wheel tightened. Your eyes flicked to the mirrors. “Are they okay?” Your voice was sharp, urgent.
A long pause. Then, “Both drivers are out of the car. Medics are on them.”
You let out a shaky breath. The race was neutralized. But the tension didn’t fade. Natasha cut in, voice steady. Grounding.
“Don’t think about it. This isn’t your past. This is your present. This is your win.”
You nodded to yourself. You were not the same driver who crashed before.You were stronger. Smarter. Better.
Lap 20
The safety car pulled in. The race was back on. You timed the restart perfectly. Walker was right there, trying to lunge up the inside, but you blocked him cleanly. He was getting desperate.
And then, Lap 27.
He made his move. Too aggressive. Too reckless. Your rear tire was clipped. The car twitched violently. Your breath stopped. For a second, you felt it happening again. The Silverstone crash. The helpless spin. Your lungs locked. Natasha’s voice was calm, urgent.
“You’ve got it. You’re in control.”
You held it. You corrected, stabilized the car. Walker was still pushing. Still desperate. “Don’t let him rattle you. You have him.” Natasha’s voice was sharp.
Lap 35
Final one. Walker lunged forward. He was too aggressive. He clipped the curb badly. His car twitched. Your eyes widened. He lost it. His car slid sideways, full speed into the barriers. A brutal impact. Carbon fiber shattered. Metal twisted.
The crowd gasped. Your lungs locked. Your voice broke through the radio. “Is he okay?!”
Silence. Then, Yelena’s voice. “He’s moving. Medical is there.”
Natasha followed, controlled but tight. “Stay focused.”
Your eyes flicked up. The finish line was ahead. One more corner. You had done it.. The realization hit you all at once. You erupted in a scream. “YEEEESSSS!” Your hands trembled on the wheel as you crossed the line, the weight of everything crashing over you.
You had won.
Not just the race. Not just the championship. You had won yourself back. The sound of your own screams of victory echoed in your ears, blending with the deafening cheers from the crowd, the roaring engines, the overwhelming rush of adrenaline that flooded every inch of your body.
Through the radio, your team was exploding with excitement, voices overlapping, Yelena’s unhinged screaming, engineers shouting your name—everyone losing their minds.
And then, Natasha. But this time, her voice wasn’t just professional. It wasn’t just the sharp, controlled guidance of your team principal. This time, she laughed. A real, genuine laugh, the sound crackling through your earpiece, warm and unfiltered.
“Jesus, Y/n, you’re insane.”
You let out a breathless laugh in return, blinking back the sting of emotion. “I fucking did it...”
Her voice softened, low, proud. “Yes, you did.” The realization hit you like a freight train. You were the world champion.
The second you parked the car, you ripped off the wheel, unstrapping yourself as fast as possible. Before your brain could even catch up, you were climbing out of the cockpit, the weight of everything crashing into you.
They were everywhere. Your mechanics swarmed you, hands grabbing your suit, shaking you, hugging you, their cheers ringing out in celebration. Tears burned at the edges of your vision. This was real. You were on top of the world.
You hugged every mechanic who got to you, arms wrapping around engineers, feeling every ounce of their pride, their joy, their belief in you. But then, your eyes flickered up. And there she was.
Standing just beyond the chaos, arms relaxed, her lips curled into a rare, small smile, her green eyes locked onto you. And that’s when you felt it. The sting of emotions rising too fast, too sharp, the sheer weight of this moment overwhelming.
Before you even realized what you were doing, your legs were moving. You ran. Straight to her. Natasha barely had time to react before you crashed into her arms. She caught you effortlessly, her hands gripping tight, holding you like she had no intention of letting go.
Your breath was ragged, your heart hammering against your ribs. You buried your face in her shoulder, inhaling the scent of her, leather, champagne, and something unmistakably her. You felt her laugh, the softest thing, as her hand slid to the back of your head, holding you close. And then, before your brain could even fully process what was happening, Natasha leaned back slightly, just enough to tilt your chin up, her eyes flickering between yours, searching.
And then, she kissed you. Right there. In front of everyone. The crowd erupted. The cameras flashed. The team roared. And none of it mattered. Because Natasha Romanoff was kissing you. Not rushed. Not hidden. Real. Raw. Completely, unapologetically hers. You melted into it, your hands gripping her suit, pulling her closer, desperate to feel every inch of this moment.
When she pulled back, her forehead pressed against yours, her breath warm against your lips. And then, she finally whispered it.
“I love you.”
You blinked, your chest tightening painfully. She had never said it before. Not once. Not when she held you after long, exhausting nights. Not when she whispered Russian against your skin. Not when her hands traced over your scars like they were sacred.
But here..in front of the world..she did. And fuck, you had never loved her more. Your fingers curled into the fabric of her race suit, your voice shaking as you whispered back.
“I love you, too.”
She smiled, a real, genuine, unguarded smile. And just as the cameras continued flashing, just as the team lost their minds, she pulled you in for another kiss. Because now, you were champions. Together.
The roar of the crowd was deafening as you made your way through the pit lane, your body still buzzing with pure, unfiltered adrenaline. Every muscle ached, every heartbeat pounded against your ribs, but none of it mattered.
You had won the fucking championship.
As you walked toward the podium, your crew and engineers lined up, cheering, clapping, some even grabbing your shoulders, shaking you with pure joy. The mechanics who had spent countless hours perfecting your car, the engineers who had studied your every move, your team, your family.
You grinned at them all, shaking hands, hugging anyone who reached for you. But then, your eyes flickered forward. Natasha Standing just beyond the team with your parents, arms crossed, her stance effortlessly composed as always. But this time, her green eyes weren’t filled with sharp calculation. They weren’t focused on data, strategy, or performance.
They were on you. And for the first time, in front of thousands of cameras, in front of the world, Natasha let herself smile. It wasn’t big. It wasn’t obvious. But to you, it was everything.
She lifted a glass of champagne, a silent toast from where she stood, her expression laced with something you’d never seen from her before, not in front of the cameras. Pride. Pure, unguarded, unmistakable pride.
Your chest tightened painfully. She was proud of you. And that? That made your throat burn more than anything. Before you could even begin to process it, an official gently tapped your arm, ushering you toward the podium. The crowd erupted as you took the steps, standing in the middle, on the highest platform. The place only one person got to stand. The champion’s place. Your team principal’s place. Natasha’s place.
Your breathing hitched as you stood there, the weight of it finally crashing over you. You had done it. Walker was a few steps below you, his expression tight, controlled. He wasn’t looking at you. Good. He didn’t matter anymore. Because this moment? This was yours.
The anthem played, the flags waved, and you felt the world shift beneath you. The bottles were handed over, the anticipation buzzing through the air. You grabbed yours, shaking it violently before popping the cork, the liquid bursting forward like a dam breaking.
And then, chaos. You turned the bottle, drenching the second-place finisher, who cursed but laughed, retaliating immediately. The third-place driver joined in, and suddenly, it was an all-out war of champagne and celebration. The golden liquid soaked your race suit, your hair, your skin. But you didn’t care. You laughed, heart soaring, the feeling unlike anything else in the world.
For a moment, you let yourself breathe. Let yourself feel it. You had climbed back from hell, from the crash that nearly ended your career, from the doubts, the nightmares, the whispers behind your back. And now? Now you were at the top.
Your eyes instinctively flickered past the cameras, past the roaring crowd. Straight to her. Natasha was still standing there, watching, her glass still in hand, her lips curled just slightly.
And this time, she lifted it higher. The acknowledgment. The silent toast. The unspoken message. Your vision blurred for half a second, but you blinked it away. And then? You did something you hadn’t planned. Something natural. You lifted your own bottle in return, mirroring her.
A toast. To the one person who had been there through it all. To Natasha fucking Romanoff.
The second you stepped down from the podium, the cameras swarmed. Questions flew at you from every direction, reporters desperate for the first statement from the new world champion.
You barely had time to process them.
“Y/n, how does it feel-”
“What a comeback! What do you have to say to your doubters-”
“What does this mean for your future-”
The questions were a blur. Your mind was still racing, your body still buzzing from the victory. “Alright, that’s enough.”
The reporters stilled. You turned, heart skipping a beat. Natasha was right there, her body angled just slightly in front of yours, the presence of a shield, a protector. And just like that, the questions stopped. Because when Natasha Romanoff spoke, people listened. She glanced over at you, her green eyes softer now, just for you.
“Let’s get you out of here.”
You nodded, exhaling softly, letting her take your hand, your fucking hand, right there, in front of everyone. The world had no idea what had just changed. But you did. And that? That was all that mattered.
The End.
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🏷️ TAGLIST: @l0nelyish @ayrtonwilbury @ima-gi--na-tion @whatthesnoodle @blackswanxzn @ivyasproperty @seventeen-x @wandanatlov3r @nebthetautora @casquinhaa @veroeuqin @1234mockingjay @artemisarroxvolkov @natashasmuse @cactuslover2600
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cinnamanz · 3 days ago
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✦ ─── 2 𝓱ands , 𝓢ophia 𝓛aforteza keep your hands on me.
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─── 𝓢ophia never considered herself the jealous type—until you got a haircut. overnight, it was like the whole world had started seeing you differently, comments about how fine you looked haunting her everywhere. no wonder she'd bossed you to have your hands on her at all times.
❝𝓷eed a little less talk, 𝓪nd a lot more touch.❞
౨ৎ 𝓹airing. sophia laforteza x katseye seventh member!yn ౨ৎ 𝓰enre. fluff, established relationship wc. 4417 a/n. good god i need to stop yapping ab details in fics i keep dragging them on on the other hand, this is my compensation for lowk neglecting u guys nd not bringing food to rhe tsble but i fear its school thats got me on a leash nd unless smn takes one for the team nd burns my school down thisll be happening more nd more often CS EXAMS ND ASSESSMENTS R COMING UP NF IMA BAWL CS WTFFFF EVERYTHING IS TOO FAST IM SO LOST FUCKKKKKKK may or may not have taken too long to get to the part where its actually inspired by 2 hands mbmb the use of 2 hands's lyrics was lowk cringy😟 NAWT PROOFREAD AT ALL🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️ enjoy homos❤️
❝𝓲 just want your two hands on me at all times, baby. 𝓲f you let go, better put 'em right back, fast.❞
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JEALOUSY WAS NEVER SOPHIA’S THING—at least, that’s what she always told herself. she knew you—her girlfriend, loved her. knew with every fibre of her being that you would never do anything deliberate to hurt her, never purposely stoke the ugly fire that smoldered deep in her chest. 
so why was it that, right now, the green-eyed monster clawed its way up her throat, curled around her ribcage, and blurred her vision like a stain she couldn't scrub away?
you’d gotten a haircut a few days ago—something sharper, something that framed your face so effortlessly it was almost unfair. it was the kind of change that ensured the girl crush label stuck to you permanently, as if it hadn’t already. and somehow, impossibly, it made you look even better—dare sophia say hotter—than before.
and safe to say, sophia wasn’t the only one who noticed. unfortunately.
the moment you turned to management and asked if you’d need a wig to hide your fresh cut from the eyekons before going live—like the other members had to in the newest tiktoks they were dishing out—their response was quick, casual—no need, you were free to show it off. gain more attention and eyes on the group before the comeback.
and that was all you needed to hear.
without a second thought, you propped your phone up on the table in your shared room with manon and daniela, fingers adjusting the angle with practiced ease, lips curling into a giddy smile. 
anticipation thrummed in your chest, an excited buzz settling beneath your skin as you ran a hand through your freshly cut hair, contemplating whether to hide it beneath a cap before settling to just tugging on the strings of your hoodie, tucking your hair out of sight from the camera.
the viewer count came rushing in the second you’d tapped ‘start live’, and your curious eyes peered at the camera, squinting to see what they’d been commenting about before shaking your head, a small chuckle of amusement spilling past your lips. 
user56 bro u look like an egg tf user1 humpty dumpty who?? user9 i think she pulls it off idk bout yall user0 ion care she can still get it even tho she looks like an idiot user2 i like them a little weird user89 GIRL TURN IT AWFFF
“i look like an egg like this? oh wow, that’s interesting. thank you.” you deadpanned, amusement flickering in your eyes as you read the comment aloud. a soft laugh slipped past your lips, shaking your head before tilting it slightly, as if assessing your reflection on the screen.
you kept the playful banter going for a few more minutes, responding to teasing messages with quick-witted remarks, occasionally tugging at the edge of your hood in mock offense. finally, you sighed, dramatic and drawn out, before giving in with a knowing hum. 
your fingers found the drawstring of your hoodie, twirling it lazily around one fingertip before tugging it loose. slowly, almost teasingly, you pushed the hood back, revealing the slightly poofy and mussed strands of your fresh haircut, the soft layers settling into place after being trapped beneath the fabric.
the moment your hair was freed, your hands instinctively shot up, smoothing over the mess, fingertips gently carding through the strands in an attempt to tame them. a small mirthful chuckle escaped you, a mix of amusement and mild exasperation at the way the hood had left your hair slightly disheveled. 
but even then, you still looked effortlessly good. and judging by the flood of excited comments rolling in, and eyekons definitely agreed.
"we vibing with it, chat?" you murmured, tilting your head slightly as your fingers absentmindedly combed through your hair, trying to smooth down the strands that had been ruffled by your hoodie. 
your lips pressed into a thin line, dissatisfaction creeping in as you examined your reflection on the screen, the messiness making your fresh cut look a little less put-together than you had intended.
"shouldn’t have actually hidden it away from you guys," you admitted with a soft sigh, shaking your head. "or it wouldn’t have been this messy."
your hands worked quickly, gently pushing some strands into place, but after a moment of struggling, you huffed in mild frustration. deciding to leave it as it was, you leaned forward, reaching for your glasses resting on the table. with practiced ease, you slid them on, blinking a few times as your vision sharpened.
"my bad, guys," you said, lips twitching into a sheepish smile as you settled back into place. "couldn’t be assed to put on my contacts."
user90 raw raw ah ah ah or wtv it was lady gaga said user56 okay guys fess up who tf took my pants user4 iSWEAR my pants were just on user77 and the crowd is… undressing themselves⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ user78 omg girl dont play w me like that i might js make u mine user43 and FUCK whoever’s dating u bruh u look too good ima nut get OUTTTTTT user68 thank GOD my phone’s waterproof‼️‼️‼️ user70 TIL THE NEIGHBOURS LEARN HER NAME😭😭😭😭 user45 FLASH US
the chat exploded with reactions—some gushing over how good you looked, others teasing about your laziness, and more than a few keyboard smashes from people who were clearly losing their minds over the combination of the new haircut and glasses. 
you chuckled at the chaos, pushing your frames up the bridge of your nose before relaxing into the moment, letting the eyekons take it all in.
sophia who was watching just downstairs, however, wasn’t all that amused with the comments that flooded your live.
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it was a jumpscare, truly. the moment sophia groggily unlocked her phone and opened tiktok, still blinking sleep from her eyes, she was met—ambushed, really—by an edit of your live from last night. the screen instantly flooded with clips of you, your freshly-cut hair falling effortlessly into place, set to the smooth, sultry beat of redbone by childish gambino.
typical, she thought dryly at the sound choice, but that didn’t stop the way her breath hitched slightly.
the light from her phone bathed her face in a bright glow, illuminating every tiny movement of her fingers as she instinctively scrolled down, her thumb hovering over the comment section before she could even think twice about it. she already knew what to expect, but that didn’t make it any less frustrating.
and sure enough, the comments were just as bad—if not worse—than the ones from last night. thirsting, keyboard smashes, people losing their goddamn minds over you. all of it blurred together in an overwhelming stream of admiration, and sophia could feel a familiar, unwelcome heat creeping up her neck.
because, god, of course everyone had to notice how good you looked. and of course, they wouldn’t shut up about it.
it didn’t help that the next few swipes on her for you page led to even more edits—clip after clip of your live from last night, set to sultry, slow-burning tracks that only seemed to emphasize just how good you looked. 
the way your freshly cut hair fell into place, the way your glasses slid down the bridge of your nose before you pushed them up absentmindedly, the way you’d smirked slightly at the camera without even meaning to—it was all there, replaying in high definition, edited to perfection, and worst of all, everywhere. god.
sophia groaned, flopping onto her back as she mindlessly scrolled, but she wasn’t about to just watch and let it slide. no, she was documenting this. saving receipts.
in less than an hour, she had added over fifty different edits of you into a private folder under your name, her fingers moving almost on autopilot. every new clip she found—save. another slow zoom-in on your face—save. a dramatic transition to the beat drop—definitely save.
by the time she was done, she was sure she had absolutely flooded the eyekons’ notifications, her name popping up repeatedly as she went on her little jealousy-infused saving spree.
but she didn’t care. not even a little.
because in her mind, this wasn’t just a collection—it was a statement. a quiet, possessive claim, a subtle way of reminding the eyekons exactly who you belonged to. every save, every tap of her screen, was her way of saying: watch all you want, but just know—she’s mine. and wait—no, no, no. jealousy is bad. an ugly feeling she shouldn’t be feeling. 
but the moment you’d walked into her shared room with yoonchae all mussed from sleep and seeking her out first thing in the morning, sliding into bed next to her, body molding onto hers and—to hell with it.
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she’d decided to go live the next day out of pure boredom and cause chaos (unbidden flirting).
clad in an oversized black hoodie—one she had definitely swiped from your closet without asking—sophia lounged comfortably in front of the camera, the fabric swallowing her frame in a way that made it clear it was never hers to begin with. 
the sleeves fell just past her wrists, slightly bunched at her hands as she lazily adjusted the hem. paired with it was a black baseball cap, probably one of the few articles of clothing she actually owned, its curved brim casting a subtle shadow over her sharp features.
her free hand drifted to the waistband of the grey sweatpants she was wearing—another piece that was, without a doubt, stolen from your closet. with a quick tug, she adjusted the way they rested on her hips, ensuring they fit just right before letting her hand drop.
user44 GOOD GODDDDD user88 that hoodie looks rlyyyy familiar ms laforteza user51 SOPHIA LIVE OH GOD BLESS😭😭😭😭😭😭 user50 can u be my girlfriend for three seconds user41 BROOOOO I NEED U SO BAD SHUT UPPPP user32 how have u been sophia???
her lips curled into a small, satisfied smile as she glanced at the screen, watching the comments flood in—messages filled with excitement, teasing remarks about her outfit, and, of course, plenty of people calling her out for very obviously wearing your clothes again. she simply raised an eyebrow, feigning innocence as she leaned in slightly, skimming through the chaotic flood of words.
but she didn’t deny it. not once.
it wasn’t until halfway through the live that the shift in the comment section became impossible to ignore. at first, it had been the usual chaos—people gushing over her, teasing her about the hoodie, and thirsting over every little movement she made. but then, as if on cue, the flood of questions about you started rolling in.
user55 hey queen so whats the deal w y/n?? is she single perchance😌😌😌 user63 is y/n there w u??? user80 is y/n single?? asking for a friend nd research purposes🌚🌚 user66 blink twice if y/n is in the room
mixed in with those were the more audacious ones—the teasing, flirty messages that made sophia’s jaw clench ever so slightly.
user90 how does one marry y/n?? help a girl out pls user82 can i marry y/n??
“no, you can’t marry y/n.” she’d replied, her fingers, which had been lazily toying with the hem of her hoodie, stilled. she blinked at the screen once. twice.
narrowing her eyes, she hooked her fingers under her chin, tilting her head slightly as she peered at the comment section with squinted, unmistakably disapproving eyes. her lips pressed into a firm line, and for a moment, she just stared, letting the weight of her silence settle over the chat.
and if the eyekons watching had any sense at all, they’d know exactly what that look meant.
“what’s that about me?”
sophia’s eyes snapped up from the screen of the live the moment she caught movement from the doorway, her sharp, narrowed gaze instantly softening at the sight of you.
there you stood, bathed in the dim glow of the room, your expression puzzled as you tilted your head slightly, brows knitting together in mild confusion. dressed in baggy clothes—an oversized hoodie that hung loosely over your frame and sweatpants that pooled slightly at your ankles—you looked effortlessly comfortable, the kind of effortlessness that made sophia’s chest tighten just a little. 
your prescription glasses perched on the bridge of your nose, a clear sign that it was far too late in the night for you to bother with contacts. in one hand, you loosely gripped a bottle of water, your other hand absentmindedly brushing at your sleeve as your bare feet padded quietly against the floor, carrying you toward her without hesitation.
completely unaware.
unaware of the absolute chaos happening in her live chat. unaware of the thirsting, the borderline feral comments flooding in, the way the eyekons were already losing their minds over the mere mention of your name. and most of all, unaware of the way sophia was staring at you—conflicted.
because in that moment, she wasn’t sure what she wanted more—to selfishly keep you out of the frame, away from their prying eyes, or to let them see you, let them understand exactly why she looked at you the way she did.
but before she could make a decision, you made it for her.
with an easy step forward, you popped into the frame, completely oblivious to the digital uproar you had just caused, a sweet, sleepy smile tugging at your lips as you greeted the screen. 
"hi, eyekons," you murmured, voice thick with sleep, raspy in a way that sent an immediate shiver down sophia’s spine. "how’re we doin’ tonight? good?"
your words were slow, unhurried, tinged with the warmth of drowsiness as you blinked at the screen, adjusting your glasses with a lazy push of your knuckle against the frame. your lips curled into a small, satisfied smile as you nodded, as if genuinely pleased by the flood of chaotic responses rolling in.
user77 girl i cant do ts rn im ovulating bad user66 standing ovulation or wtv the saying is user62 heyyyy so lunch by billie eilish?? user79 MY DREAM RIDE😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻 user39 WHATT HEJVUKFMFK WHAT THEUCKVLVMK user50 CLEAN UP ON AISLE MY PANTS😭😭😭😭😭😭 user99 cldnt even edge to ts i exploded IMMEDIATELY😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 user34 the crowd would applaud but their hands are busy😭😭😭 user14 i swear my pants were JUST on
"i’m glad," you hummed, voice dipping even lower, softer—dangerous.
sophia didn’t stand a chance.
the moment the sound of your voice filled the room, she could feel the heat crawling up her neck, warm and betraying. without thinking, she subtly turned her face away from the camera, pretending to adjust her hoodie as she desperately tried to will away the blush creeping onto her cheeks.
but of course, you noticed.
your gaze flickered toward her, amusement dancing in your sleep-heavy eyes, and a quiet chuckle slipped past your lips—gentle, teasing.
"what’s with you?" you asked, voice lilting, but sophia refused to look at you, choosing instead to stare pointedly at her phone as if it could somehow save her from this situation.
it absolutely could not.
“nothing,” she tried to fib through her teeth. her face was half-hidden from the camera, but you knew her well enough to picture the exact shade of pink dusting her cheeks, the way she’d press her lips together in a tight line to keep from giving herself away. “don’t worry about it.”
a slow, knowing smile tugged at your lips, though you chose not to push any further—for now. instead, you shook your head in amusement, eyes twinkling as you took in the rare sight of sophia, who was normally so composed, absolutely crumbling before your eyes.
"someone’s suddenly a little camera shy," you mused, voice dipping into something teasing, playful.
sophia let out a quiet huff, still turned away, fingers absentmindedly tugging at the hem of the hoodie she’d stolen from you, as if focusing on that would somehow help her regain her composure.
and for a few minutes, she did just that—taking slow, measured breaths, schooling her features back into something neutral, forcing the heat in her cheeks to die down. when she finally popped back into frame, her expression was much steadier, though the faintest traces of pink still lingered on her skin.
thankfully, the purple lighting she’d chosen for the live worked in her favour, casting a soft glow that helped mask the last remnants of her flustered state. she busied herself with scrolling through the chat, acting as though nothing had happened, her posture relaxed, exuding an air of practiced nonchalance.
or, at least, she tried to.
because just as she started to settle back into her usual rhythm, her brows twitched—barely, but enough—as her ears picked up on something that immediately set her back on edge.
"oh, baby, you’re too sweet," you purred, your voice dripping with playful flirtation as you read a particularly bold comment from an eyekon. "but if you keep talking to me like that, i might just have to take you out on a date."
user51 MY TURN user23 A TEAR ROLLED DOWN MY LEG user89 OHMGYGOD IVOLUNTER ASTRIBYTE user62 RAWRAWRARAWRARWRAW user94 THISMADE BOTH OF MY LIPS SMILE user42 raw i meant AWWWWWW user82 this so made my hole weak I MEANT MY WHOLE WEEK user42 i am not cinderella but ik it fits user51 born to cowgirl, forced to fangirl💔💔💔💔💔 user41 i have nothing appropriate to say HER VOICE UGHHHHH user17 i finally got the water bed everyone wanted in 2016 user88 good now OIL UP user33 YOU GUYS ARE ABSOLUTE ANIMALS IN HERE WTF ENOUGH GUYS ENOUGH YOU HORNDOGS user21 all ten fingers.
sophia froze.
her grip on her the drawstring of your hoodie tightened slightly, her jaw ticking as she forced her gaze to remain on the screen, pretending to be invested in the chat. 
but anyone who knew her—especially you—could see the barely concealed flicker of irritation in her expression, the slight way her nostrils flared, the way her fingers twitched as if she were this close to reaching out and physically covering your mouth to put an end to whatever nonsense you were spewing.
she knew you were just playing around. she knew it.
but that didn’t stop the possessive heat from curling low in her stomach, nor did it stop the subtle shift in her posture—back straightening, shoulders rolling back, as if preparing to stake her claim without saying a word.
user1 guys im kinda scared of sophia user79 SHES LOOMING HELPPP user52 guard dog who user93 damn sophia my b for even looking at yn user84 im gna sleep now okay?? dont choke me in my sleep pls user77 I WAS JS PLAYING W YN PLS DONT KILL ME user91 holy shit i js got shivers down my spine
sophia hadn’t meant to react so quickly, so instinctively, but the second another flirtatious comment slipped past your lips, she couldn’t hold back anymore. before she even registered what she was doing, her hand shot out, fingers wrapping around your arm in a vice grip—possessive, unwavering.
your amusement only grew at the sudden contact, lips parting slightly as you turned away from the chat, gaze landing on sophia. her expression was downright murderous, eyes dark, pupils blown wide with a sharp intensity that sent a shiver down your spine.
without a word, she yanked your arm toward her, grip tightening as if to silently remind you who you belonged to. both of her hands locked around your forearm now, as if afraid you’d slip away if she loosened her hold even slightly.
and then—thud.
in her urgency, her knee jerked forward, slamming against the table. the impact sent her phone tumbling forward, landing screen-down with a soft clack, the camera immediately blacking out. the live was still running, but now all the eyekons could hear was the sharp rustle of movement, the sound of fabric shifting, a muffled noise—
because in the very next second, sophia had tugged you forward, pulling you straight between her thighs with a force that left you momentarily stunned. and before you could even process what was happening, her hands were on you—one threading into your hair, fingers tangling at the base of your skull, the other firmly cupping the back of your neck, anchoring you in place.
and then she kissed you.
no hesitation, no teasing buildup—just pure, unfiltered need.
it was all-consuming, the way she melted against you, the way her lips moved with a desperation that sent your mind reeling. 
she kissed you like you were her oxygen, like she had been starving for you this entire time—which she has been to be fair, and now that she had you, she refused to let you go. her fingers tightened in your hair, tugging slightly, as if to draw you in even closer—though there was hardly any space left between you.
but just as you were getting lost in the heat of it—just as you felt yourself melting into her touch—she suddenly pulled away, her hands shifting to your shoulders.
and then, without warning, she pushed you back.
you barely had a second to react before your back hit the couch once again, a soft groan escaping you as sophia moved fast, swinging a leg over your waist and straddling you with ease, her knees pressing into the cushions on either side of your hips.
you blinked up at her, breathless, dazed, lips still tingling from the kiss. but she didn’t give you a moment to recover. the rest of the world faded, the chat, the live, the teasing—nothing else mattered except this. except her. just like how she’d intended. and she leaned back in for more.
user77 HELLO??? WHAT IS GOING ON user51 GET ME OUT OF THE BASWMENY user11 BTCHCICHFUHFIE WTAFFDTFYE WHAT IS GOIUNG ON HELLO user78 I HEARD THAT user12 smn pick me up im scared user82 bon appetite to sophia ig user94 AT LWAST END THE LIVE????? user73 am i interrupting sumn user93 freak ON user44 media training went out the window im crying theyre not even tryna hide it HELPPP user25 probably making out in my cellular phone i pay for every month??? diabolical work i feel targeted.
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sophia had no idea how she’d ended up here—pressed into the middle of a drunken, swaying crowd, the bass thrumming so hard it rattled her ribs, the air thick with sweat, alcohol, and the kind of recklessness that came with too many shots and too little self-control.
this was not what you had promised.
"it'll be chill," you’d said, smiling so sweetly at her earlier, brushing your fingers through her hair as you reassured her that it was just a casual going-away party for your friend—nothing too wild. 
but now? some random guy had the audacity to press up against her, subtly—or not so subtly—trying to grind against her like she wouldn’t notice. like she’d let him.
with an irritated grunt, she shoved him off, barely sparing him a glare before weaving through the crowd, jaw clenched. she barely knew your friend, didn’t care to, really. she wouldn’t even be out of bed right now if it were up to her, more than happy to be curled up under the covers with you, watching mamma mia back to back before switching to your personal favorites—until the two of you inevitably dozed off.
but no.
you just had to have plans. just had to drag her to some bullshit party for a friend jetting off to europe to “find the woman of her life.”
sophia cursed under her breath, her usually calm composure cracking as frustration simmered beneath her skin. her hands itched—aching to grab ahold of you, to pull you against her and make sure every single person here knew you weren’t up for grabs.
the flashing, colorful lights of the room made everything simultaneously too bright and too dim, disorienting her as she searched. the pulse of the music did nothing to drown out the growing sense of urgency clawing up her spine.
she should’ve never let you out of her sight—oh, there you are.
sophia could feel it creeping in—the sharp, insidious burn of jealousy sinking its claws into her chest, wrapping tight around her ribs like a vice for the second time that week.
surrounded by a cluster of women, all too eager to lean in, to bat their lashes, to laugh a little too loudly at something you’d said—something that, knowing you, probably wasn’t even that funny. yet there they were, hanging onto every word, eyes lingering a little too long, bodies angled a little too close.
her jaw clenched.
her vision blurred at the edges, tinted green with something she refused to name, but it propelled her forward before she could think twice, her feet carrying her straight to you, drawn in like gravity itself had shifted. 
she slipped through the crowd with practiced ease, a mask of indifference settling over her features like second nature—calm, cool, unreadable. but beneath the surface? she was nothing but raw chaos.
without a word, her fingers curled around the fabric of your shirt, tugging you back, away from them, to her. her hands moved instinctively, slipping over yours, guiding them down, redirecting—staking claim.
she flattened your palms against her waist, holding them there, her body pressing into yours like she needed you closer. always.
“want your two hands on me at all times, baby.” sophia's voice was a low murmur, silk-smooth and deliberate as she tilted her head back, lips just barely grazing your cheek before trailing toward your ear, a slow, teasing whisper meant for you—but performed for the lingering eyes around you.
“and if you let go, better put ‘em right back fast.” her grip on your hands tightened, guiding them to press firmer against her waist, as if daring you to even think about moving them away. her fingers curled around yours, possessive, a silent command to stay put. her heart pounded, a steady rhythm against your skin. 
"want your two hands on me.” like my life needs saving, she’d have dared utter if she wasn’t too lost in the way your breath hitched, fingers twitching against hers.
and maybe it did.
she leaned in closer, lips just barely brushing the shell of your ear, her breath warm and slow, sending shivers down your spine. “let ‘em all know.”
her hand ghosted back, fingers featherlight as they traced along your jaw before tilting your chin up just enough to meet her gaze, dark and unreadable.
“can you do it like that?”
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masterlist.
— please do not repost, copy, translate, or take from my work in any way without permission. thank you! xx
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rafesbuzzcutseason · 2 days ago
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chasing city lights
chapter 28 - the final countdown
synopsis: you move to new york to start fresh, hoping to find comfort in the city’s atmosphere. that’s when you meet sarah cameron, where she takes you to a concert and you catch sight of the lead band member, rafe cameron. it only takes a moment for you to realize you’re captivated by him. as sarah helps you navigate your new life in the city, you start to get pulled deeper into rafe's world—the music, the fame, the chaos. the more you get to know him, the more you realise that rafe is not just the rock star he seems to be. he’s wrestling with his own demons, and the last thing he needs is someone like you getting close.
masterlist
cw: language, fluff
listen to wildflower by 5sos for this chapter!
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the final countdown to the grammys had officially begun. the entire city buzzed with anticipation, and so did you.
a week ago, you weren’t sure where you stood with him. now? now you were spending every day together, waking up next to each other soaking in the last moments before the chaos of the awards.
"morning, rockstar," you murmured, rolling over to face him.
he groaned, burying his face into your neck. "too early for that."
you laughed, running your fingers through his messy hair. "you’re going to be a grammy-winning rockstar soon. better get used to it."
rafe peeked up at you, a sleepy smirk playing on his lips. "you think i'll win?"
"i know you will," you said confidently.
"well then i have you to thank if we do win." he smiled at you. "you're the whole reason flatline came about in the first place."
you smiled, rolling onto your side to face him fully. "oh, so now you’re admitting i’m your muse?"
rafe chuckled, propping himself up on one elbow. "i never denied it." his fingers traced lazy circles against your hip. "you were always the reason behind the music. still are."
your heart fluttered at his words.
you swallowed. "how are you feeling about it all? the awards, the pressure?"
he exhaled deeply, running a hand over your arms. "it's a lot. i mean, we’ve played arenas, done the whole tour thing, but this? this is different. the boys can't believe it either." he met your gaze, something vulnerable flashing in his eyes. "feels like the whole world’s watching."
you reached out, threading your fingers through his. "they are. and they love you."
his lips twitched into a small smile. "not as much as i love you."
your breath caught at his words. it wasn’t the first time he’d said it since you’d let him back in, but every time, it felt just as intense, like he meant it more with each passing second.
you squeezed his hand, your voice softer now. “i love you too, rafe.”
his expression softened, relief, adoration, maybe even a little disbelief. he pulled you closer, pressing a slow, lingering kiss to your lips.
when he finally pulled back, he rested his forehead against yours. “say it again.”
you smiled, brushing your fingers against his jaw. “i love you.”
he exhaled. “god, i missed hearing you say that.”
you cupped his face, tilting his chin so he had no choice but to look at you. “then don’t give me a reason to stop.”
his grip on you tightened, his voice a quiet promise. “never again.”
for a while, you just lay there, wrapped in each other, the world outside forgotten.
rafe’s phone buzzed on the nightstand, and he groaned, reluctantly reaching for it. one glance at the screen and he let out a dramatic sigh. “press junket. label’s breathing down our necks.”
you laughed, nudging him. “well, go. win them over.”
he smirked, rolling onto his back, dragging you on top of him. “i'd rather stay here and win you over. again.”
you rolled your eyes, but your smile gave you away. “you already have.”
his hands trailed down your sides. “yeah?”
you leaned down, kissing him again. “yeah.”
"okay" he signed, slowly getting up. "i'll see you after?"
"i'll be here."
"good" he grinned, "see you soon baby."
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a/n: lord this chapter took ME LONGGGG anyway i can't believe this story is almost coming to an end i'm gonna sob
taglist: @hoefordrewstarkey @marleymarleymarleymarley @bee-43 @cherryhoneybabe @skye-44 @drewrry @drewrry  @yesterdaysproblemm @dylsdaily @rafeysworldim19 @valyrianflower @kaiparkerwifes @judesgfirl@4urvalidation@chillgal135 @drewstarkeyslover @yesshewrites1@amterasuu @babykhloutofthisworld @blushmimi  @moonywhisp3rs @rafeysworldim19 @marleymarleymarleymarley @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @vcnillafairy@bambii1i @sammyrenae68 @kittenjujusblog @thesunflowersociety @wtfdudesblog @voidangxls @jjmaybankmylovee @munsoncultedits @emmiesummers @darlingstarkey @sassyvillaintrophy  @pogueprincesa @stylestarkey@sodapopwaldor @jjasmiineee @littlefreak-liz @therealfairybatman @leotapes
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live-laugh-lenney · 2 days ago
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number one fan | george clarke
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summary; yn is the biggest supporter at wembley stadium for george during his appearance at the sidemen charity match.
word count; 2.9k
** warnings; slight mention of sex but just pure, sickening fluff. **
just a little something quick, short and sweet to celebrate the charity match - the atmosphere was unreal and i'm so glad to say i was there to witness george scoring his goal at wembley. the best day of my life and i would do it all over again. <33 (i am going to include the day of the charity match in my current WIP fic - bestfriend!george/boyfriend!arthur - so i will go into more detail about this day in that!). let me know what you think. enjoy! x
The atmosphere of Wembley Stadium felt suffocating to YN.
But it was a good kind of suffocating if the word ‘suffocating’ had a positive connotation to it. 
It was electric, filled with so much anticipation, filled with bubbling excitement as people gathered from all over the country, with some travelling from all over the world, to support their favourite content creators in something that would be classed as historic for those in the career path of social media.
The loudness and the intensity of an almost full stadium, as the minutes on the screens ticked by till kick-off, was slightly overwhelming for her and she could feel the familiar feeling of nerves bubbling low in her belly and it felt a little strange for her to have been there for a football match as opposed to a concert. Because the last time she had been there was for a Harry Styles concert during a London heatwave yet, this time, it was a whole different experience. This was Wembley Stadium, the home of English football, and she was eager to experience the unique vibe it offered for the next three hours, ready to soak in every moment. 
It felt even stranger for her to have been there for someone she knew personally. The same someone she got to go home with afterwards and the same someone who (almost) everyone in the stadium had come to see and it gave her a feeling of superiority because she was the lucky one who got to kiss him once she saw him after, who got to take him home, who got to give him a massage as he laid in bed, who got to support him and be known as his number one supporter… she was one step ahead of everyone who had come to see him that day and, deep down, she relished in that feeling.
She’d travelled in with the two Arthur’s, since they were coming from the same part of London together and she didn’t want to travel on her own whilst George travelled in on a coach-load of Youtubers prepped in their kits for the day, feeling at ease knowing she could follow them and have her nerves calmed because they’d make sure to keep her mind free of any panic and anxiety she had about the day. Hearing their nonsense on the tube as they nattered about upcoming Youtube video ideas they were looking forward to filming, chiming in on how she really wanted to participate in a ‘Platform Roulette’ whenever they were next planning one and insisting she’d be able to keep up with the rate they drank at, taking pictures and videos of their day so she could document it all on TikTok and so George could use it in a video because, no doubt, he was going to put out a little something to show his gratitude to the opportunity he was given.
As each seat gained an occupant around her, her eyes dragged slowly from row to row as seats were filling up and she still couldn’t comprehend how she was stood in a box, amongst everyone else’s friends and family as they gathered for the huge event, ready to watch her boyfriend run the length of the pitch for under ninety minutes. Behind her, she was graced with Emily and her partner as well as George’s mum and dad, and she felt a lot more relaxed knowing they felt the same way she did; they were all in this together.
“Say hello to TikTok, lovely,” Emily insisted, holding out her phone in YN’s direction so she could wave and give the camera a shy smile and she graciously obliged, saying the sweetest ‘hello’ before Emily saved the video and put her phone back into her pocket, “I’m taking a page out of George’s book today and filming a little ‘day in the life of watching my baby brother play at Wembley’ and we all know the girlies want to see you.”
“I’m sure they only want to see George,” YN laughed, pushing her sunglasses up the bridge of her nose and situating herself a little more comfortably in her chair so she could still have a face-to-face conversation with George’s family but still have an eye on the pitch as they watched the players warm-up on the grass, and Emily shook her head, “I tend not to look at comments from people, really.”
“Well, you should have a little nosey look every now and then. They love you and George together,” she claimed and YN’s cheeks felt like they were hotting up, “besides, I’d have a few choice words for them if they ever choose to upset you. George can handle himself but I’ve got your back,” she gave YN’s cheeks a little pinch with her fingers and grinned at her playfully, “we love you, George loves you, that’s all that matters right?”
YN nodded shyly.
The way his family had welcomed her in, it felt so wholesome in her eyes. How they made her feel part of the family from the moment he took her back to Bristol for a weekend, how they showed interest in her life and asked her questions about her and her own family, how they gave her so much love for someone they’d only just met. Being sat with them, during a milestone that was huge for George and his career, made her feel so warm on the inside.
“Speaking of George,” YN took a glance across to where he was performing the warm-up in front of the crowd before she looked back to his sister,, “I can’t believe we’re here for him.”
“I remember the day he phoned us up and asked us if we wanted to come and watch,” George’s mum chimed in, looking up from her phone, momentarily taking a break from scrolling through some of the pictures she’d already taken that day, “I think his dad nearly had a heart attack when he mentioned he was playing on this pitch.”
“It’s not every day that your son says he’s playing football at a sold-out Wembley stadium,” his dad exclaimed, completely decked out in merchandise that made YN want to cry over because he looked so supportive, “there wasn’t a chance we were missing this.”
YN understood the significance of how much the opportunity meant to George.
The night before, as they bid farewell to each other, she could sense his anxiety and apprehension. The loving embrace they shared in the entryway of her flat, with his bag packed at their feet, was a poignant moment for both of them. George was visibly nervous and nauseous, knowing he would soon be standing on a stage in front of ninety-thousand people, all gathered for a noble cause. Despite his usual outward display of confidence, the jokes he’d make to bring lightheartedness to any room he was in, George confided in YN about his inner turmoil. 
He admitted to shedding tears, overwhelmed by the pressure to perform well and the fear of not measuring up to the expectations of his audience and he likened his feelings to that of 'imposter syndrome', as he prepared to share the stage with the very YouTubers he had idolized in his youth.
At that moment, all George longed for was YN's presence and her growing support. He found solace in her comforting embrace, knowing that her unwavering belief in him would help him overcome his fears and insecurities. As they parted ways that night, YN remained a source of strength and reassurance for George, providing him with the courage he needed to face the challenges that lay ahead.
---
“I just wish you could come with me tonight,” he pouted, eyes glossed over with tears and YN’s heart broke as he stood before her. He looked like a child who was scared to partake in the school play. “I know it’s silly to get so emotional but, I just want to live this moment with you. You’ve been by my side since the beginning of all of this that’s happening in my life. You’ve never let me do things alone, you’ve always held my hand, you’ve always made sure you were there for me.”
“It’s only one night,” she cooed softly, running a hand through his hair and letting her fingers curl in the curls at the back of his head, “I’ll see you in less than 12 hours, you silly boy.”
“I know but I want to live in the moment with you,” he sighed heavily and rolled his head back, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he took an aching swallow, “and I feel so out of place there. Training today, I was amongst the likes of MrBeast and Logan Paul. Speed, as well. It just doesn’t feel right. It feels like I’m checking off a box and that’s the worst way to look at it because they’re my friends.”
“You deserve all of the successes that happen to you, George,” she reminded him and he brought his head back to look at her, her hands cupping his face and he felt comfort in how soft her thumbs felt as they dragged across his cheeks and collected the moisture of his emotions from his skin, “I’m so proud of you, I love you, and I can’t wait to be there tomorrow. Cheering you on with your family, with your friends, with all those fans of yours who have come to watch as you live out your dream.”
“Don’t forget to wear the shirt, will you?”
“Of course not,” she shook her head softly. Her Sidemen FC match shirt, with ‘Clarkey’ written across the back of her shoulders and the number ‘8’ embellished underneath it, was folded up neatly with the rest of her outfit - ripped and baggy jeans and one of George’s zip-up hoodies that she thought would act as some good luck - and she truly felt like she was a WAG and she wondered if this was how Talia, Freya and Faith felt before the first Sidemen match they ever attended. “I’m going to wear it with pride. I don’t think I’ll take it off for a while.”
“What if I take it off for you?”
“Only if you score,” she grinned at him with a glint of cheekiness in her eyes and it was enough to bring a wide, face-splitting grin to his mouth, “seriously. If you score, you can do whatever you want with me when we get back home.”
---
Eighty-eight minutes.
There were two minutes left in the game, two minutes left before chaos ensued as they rushed to get the winner’s podium set up, two minutes left for one of them to gain the winning coal to keep it from a tied eight-all score at the end. To her right was ArthurTV, visibly nervous whilst he chewed on his nails as his knee bounced up and down and occasionally bumped against hers, and to her left was Max, who was oblivious to the heightened atmosphere but had his eyes glued to the players on the pitch and she was certain he was looking for George but, then again, so was she and about half of the fans in Wembley Stadium. 
As the clock ticked down, the anticipation grew palpable, each second feeling like an eternity. The stakes were high, and the pressure was mounting for the players on the field. The outcome of the game would soon be decided, and the tension in the stadium was almost tangible.
A corner kick from Tobi, a poor touch from AngryGinge, and suddenly the stadium erupted into cheers and it took YN a brief moment to realise just who was on the other end of Tobi’s cross into the box.
“Oh, my god!”
Arthur turned to YN as everyone around them stood to their feet with their arms punching the air in excitement as they celebrated the ball going into the back of the net, grabbing her shoulders and giving her an enthusiastic shake whilst her own hands came up to cover her mouth in pure shock, her eyes darting from Arthur’s face to the pitch so she could find George to the screen that showed the moment her boyfriend got the final toe-poke touch of the ball as it crossed the line. A desperate lunge to make sure it didn’t skim the post, to make sure they got the winning goal, to make sure it was nestled deeply into the net as confirmation he’d won the game for Sidemen FC with their nine goals to the AllStars’ eight goals. 
“As if!”
She couldn’t contain the smile that burst from her lips, her vision landing on George as players in all black had surrounded him as they celebrated together, watching as Chris and Will went over to give him a celebratory hug before they joined the rest of their team before they restarted the game. The way he sauntered around the grass with confidence in every step he took, his eyes scanning the crowd to see if he could find where YN was sitting, giving her a wave and blowing a kiss in her direction once he saw her in the far distance.
“If he’s just won that for the Sidemen, my god,” Arthur sat back down in his seat, adjusting the sunglasses on the bridge of his nose, “he will not shut up about this now, you realise that?”
“I know,” YN grinned proudly, clapping her hands together and letting them fall to her lap, “but I’m okay with that. I’m so okay with that.”
But it wasn’t meant to be.
Theo brought the ball down in the box at the opposite end and slotted it into the back of the net for his Wembley hattrick, which YN couldn’t fault his incredible attempt and considered him the player most worthy to get the only hattrick of the day, but she felt the knot in her stomach tighten at how George didn’t quite become the hero of the game but still managed to make his mark. 
---
“Well, well, well.”
She turned on her heels, a bottle of beer held tightly in her hands, and she took in George’s appearance - freshly washed hair that had become fluffy and soft now it had naturally dried, the smell of his shower gel and an even stronger smell of his aftershave that he’d spritzed over himself wafted up her nose and she just wanted to devour him in kisses and take him home so she could have him all to herself. He dropped his sports bag down by the table that his family were situated at, using his foot to slide it underneath so it was out of sight for everyone and not so much of a tripping hazard to those in the room, and she placed her drink down on the tabletop so she could wrap her arms around him in a tight hug. His arms sliding around her waist and he held her tightly to his front, hiding his face in the crook of her neck and goosebumps rose upon her skin at the way his moustache and the prickles of his beard tickled at her bare skin.
“I guess I’m taking this off tonight,” he whispered softly into her ear whilst his fingers toyed with the material of the shirt tucked into her jeans yet swallowing her upper body, “did we shake on that? You’re not going back on your word, are you?”
“I was going to let you anyway,” she responded, hands combing through the mullet he had almost perfected and he lifted his head from her neck to take in his surroundings, “you did so good today. I’m so incredibly proud of you.”
The smile on his face seemed permanent.
He could see his dad, pushing through the crowd, with bottles of beer in his hands as he made his way back to their table. He could hear his mum behind him as she ushered his sister and her partner to get ready to bombard him with hugs and kisses as they professed their pride and their love for him. He could see his friends all huddled together in different corners of the room, how all their families were gathered in this space and talking amongst themselves, photos being snapped and vlogs being filmed from all over the place that he’d definitely be showing his face in. 
Yet all his mind would focus on, at that moment, was YN. 
“You can go and wander around, you know? We’ll still be here if you want to go and talk to people,” YN insisted, looking up at him as he scanned the room, his arm tightening around her waist as he pulled her closer to his side, “we don’t mind if you do.”
“No,” he shook his head, looking down at her and pressing a kiss to her forehead, “I spent all day with these guys. I want to savour this moment with you.”
“You’re such a softie,” she laughed, sliding her arm around his middle and giving his hip a squeeze, “I still can’t believe you scored a goal out there today.”
“I knew what was on the line tonight,” he said coolly with a smirk twitching at his lips, and he took a swig of the beer from the bottle his dad had handed him to hide the cocky look that pieced his features together in a lustful way, his eyes turning a devilishly darker shade than normal, “what do say about us leaving early?”
“You don’t want to go out and celebrate with everyone else?”
“Not when we’ve got some celebrating of our own to do.”
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yandere-paramour · 3 days ago
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BDSM with Noelle
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"Noelle, I don't know about this," Your voice was shaky and unsure as you pulled at the cuffs.
"Don't pull. You'll hurt yourself," She took your right hand, then your left, guiding them back to the straps, "We've talked about this numerous times. I know you're nervous, but we have to push through that. If you truly can't do this, I can untie you-"
"No," You interrupted her, "No, let's... let's just do it."
Noelle looked at you for a long time before she said anything, "Alright. Let's do it then."
She slipped an eye mask over your eyes, and another of your senses was cut off.
You really had no idea where she got the thing. A friend on Discord had sent you an AO3 link and like a good friend, you opened it. You only intended to read a chapter or two then say it wasn't your thing, because it wasn't. What kind of freak wanted to be tied up and hit?
You, apparently.
You devoured the 55-chapter fanfiction before Noelle even got home, and you fell down a rabbit hole you knew you'd never climb out of. There was just so much you didn't know about, and the more you disparaged it, the more appealing it became. What would it feel like, to mix pleasure and pain like that? Which would prevail in the end? Could you handle it? You were always a crybaby, but you weren't weak.
Lucky for you, AO3 had millions of filthy, smutty stories for you to read, and Noelle gave you only the best of everything, including internet access. You read dozens of BDSM fics before you got tired of reading and Noelle came home for steak night, but the thought of it never really left your mind.
When the giant box came to the apartment door, you never expected what was in it, but there it was, a Saint Andrew's cross set up right in Noelle's study. The wood of the cross matched the wood of her desk. Like it had always been there. Like it was meant to match.
Why was this taking so long? You fidgeted in your cuffs, embarrassed at the exposed position she had you in. Your wrists and ankles were cuffed to each of the prominences of the cross, leaving you naked and spread wide. A bit of slick dribbled down your left leg and you ached to wipe it off, to clean yourself and close your legs like a good girl.
The anticipation was killing you; why was she so silent?
"Noelle?"
"Speak when spoken to."
When Noelle's authoritative voice came suddenly from your left, a sharp bit of electricity hit you on your right hip. You jerked, beyond surprised. What the fuck was that?
You opened your mouth to speak, to protest, but you felt the charge of... whatever that was crackling closer to a lot more sensitive part, clearly a warning. Rightfully, you shut your mouth.
"Good girl," Noelle's voice was behind you this time, and her hand caressed your bare back, making you whimper and your knees turn to jelly.
Noelle was right; with this blindfold on, everything felt more intense, stronger. Her fingers ghosted over your exposed flesh, occasionally interspersed with a light shock somewhere sensitive. Noelle took special care with your nipples, the backs of your shoulders, the swell of your abdomen, even between your toes. She chuckled darkly every time you yelped and jumped, and she never gave you any indication of what she was going to do next.
Except that she was studiously avoiding your privates. You were growing frustrated, needy. When you anticipated another shock to your hip, you tried to grind on her, to get some blessed friction.
And you got a different type of friction. You knew what this was. The falls of a leather flogger landed right on your ass, stopping your mischief in its tracks. This hurt, actually hurt, the first real pain of the day. Like a pervert, you bit back a moan.
"Oh? She likes that?" Noelle's hands snaked between your legs and you whimpered, "You do like it, don't you? I can tell. So wet."
Noelle loved teasing you like this, humiliating you for your body's natural reaction to her touches. It excited her to make you squirm.
"Little one, let's have some fun now," She whispered in your ear, lightly pulling your hair, "Trust me now. I'm in charge."
You were so damn wet, you barely felt it as Noelle used your own slick to lubricate the vibrator. With a special rope tie, she slipped part of it inside you, the other part nestled right by your clit. It was already staggering, but everything elevated when she clicked the button, turning it on.
Strikes rained down on your ass and back, overwhelming every part of you. The vibrator would have you twisting one way, and a particularly vicious hit would have you twisting the other. Endorphine flooded your brain, pain mixing with pleasure in just the way you dreamed of. You felt the tension rising within you, and you bucked your hips, moaning like a lewd animal with every strike. You chased that high, that intense euphoric feeling you knew you could hit if only she would allow you. She would have to allow it. You were a good girl, you deserved it, and you were not above begging.
"No-Noelle," Tears ran down your face and saliva dripped from your mouth as you struggled to corral your brain to speak, "Please-please let me-"
"No. Don't you fucking dare."
Noelle snapped into action, dropping the flogger to abruptly slide the vibrator out of you, tossing it onto the floor without even giving it a lick as you know she preferred to do. Your hips twitched and bucked, searching for stimulation they could no longer find.
"I'll do it."
You felt the strap at your hole, the eight-inch ribbed one, the biggest you both owned. You started to push back against her, wanting something, anything inside you. You needed it, needed her, and as your Mistress, she generously obliged.
Noelle entered you fully in one thrust, wrestling a cry from your lips. You and her had made love many time before, but this wasn't that.
This was fucking.
She fucked you roughly, pistoning into you while her hands and mouth caressed and bit the flogging bruises on your back. It wasn't long before you came the first time, and even as the overstimulation began to prickle at your skin, she kept going. Noelle was going until she got her pleasure; your own orgasms were of little consequence.
You came 4 times before Noelle's arms tightened around you, and you heard the little moan/whine she always made as she came. You both just stood there for a minute, you still strapped to the cross and her still in you, taking you from behind.
"Are you alright?" A soft hand stroked your face, wiping away your tears, "Was I too rough?"
Noelle slipped out of you, and more slick dribbled from you. Your head felt woozy, and your legs were weak. You wanted to answer her, but she felt so far away right now, and your vision was hazy. You felt Noelle carefully unstrap your wrists and ankles, and you leaned on her as she carefully dragged you to the couch, taking care to lay you on your stomach. A warm, wet towel cleaned between your legs, and she held a water bottle to your mouth, encouraging you to drink.
"Relax, my Darling. Don't try to talk. I've got you, okay?" Her words were soft and honeyed, and you felt them wrap around you like a secure hug.
Your ass and back really didn't hurt that badly, but Noelle was worried you would be sore in the morning. You whined as she meticulously rubbed healing ointment into your bruises; it was cold. She hushed you like you were a fussy child, and you quieted down immediately. Even after, Noelle still expected to be obeyed, and you listened.
"Chocolate incoming," A truffle was placed on your tongue, and you savored the sweetness as Noelle put the heated blanket over you. Dimly, you heard soft music playing. How long had that been on?
"Noelle?" You finally peeped as she took her place behind you, resting your head on her lap so she could stroke your soft hair.
"Sweetheart!" Noelle's lovely face showed actual concern. "You've come back to me. Are you alright? How do you feel? Are you in pain?"
You swallowed the chocolate, licking your lips, building anticipation for her as she did for you.
"Can we do that again sometime?"
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starshoyo · 2 days ago
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SECRETS ★
PAIRING Kita Shinsuke x fem! reader
WARNINGS None
TAGS I love Kita sm, more Kita fics pls, Inarizaki finding out he’s basically married
IN WHICH the Inarizaki volleyball team finds out that their blunt and cold captain has a girlfriend
𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒/𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
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KITA SHINSUKE WAS a feared man. To outsiders, the Inarizaki men’s volleyball team was full of intimidating people.
Take for example, Miya Atsumu, the setter who had full blown confidence in himself and wasn’t afraid to speak his mind. Or Ojiro Aran, the powerful third year who was one of the top five aces in the whole nation.
Then there was Suna Rintarou, eyes judging and observing, a smile nowhere to be seen. Of course, you couldn’t forget about Miya Osamu, who much like Suna, never smiled.
And to think that they could all be controlled by their captain, Kita Shinsuke, said a lot. The man must’ve been terrifying, and he was.
Kita reminded the team much of a mother, who was kind and generous behind the scenes, but wouldn’t waste a breath in correcting any foul behavior. His eyes of warning became enough for them to listen to them, a chill being sent down their spine.
He was much like a robot, they liked to say. He didn’t say much, and was perfect in every way. He seemed almost emotionless, which is why it was such a big surprise when they found out he had a girlfriend.
I mean, it was only natural that the team didn’t know. You went to a whole different school, and Kita never talked about himself enough for them to even question it.
You had known him since childhood, growing up as neighbors and going to the same school up until high school. There, he had decided to go to Inarizaki, while you would go to a different school that had a better women’s volleyball team.
Unfortunately, your team had lost in the first round of nationals. Fortunately, that meant you were now able to turn your full focus onto your boyfriend, watching his matches and cheering for him.
Inarizaki had been grouped outside of the gym after a win against a school. You were roaming the halls, hoping to get a glance of your uniform. It’s been a while since you’ve seen him, especially with both of you being too busy with nationals.
Then, you saw his familiar back facing you, the team huddled around him as they probably were going over their match. You quietly walked behind him, not sure if you should interrupt him or not, but Atsumu, who was facing you, noticed you.
He raised a brow, before clearing his throat. “Uh, Kita-san?” He pointed a finger at you. Kita turned around, and as if they weren’t in the middle of a meeting, he walked towards you. With a smile on his face.
The team watched as he conversed with you, too far to hear. “Did… Kita-san just smile?” Suna murmured, face twisted in confusion. “Who… is that?” Atsumu continued, asking the question all of them were thinking. “Aran, don’t ya know? Yer closest to him.”
He shrugged, shaking his head. “I mean- I’ve never- He’s never mentioned a girlfriend.”
“Maybe a family member?” Osamu mumbled. The theory would quickly be shut down when you leaned into him, placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth, before waving and walking away. When Kita turned back towards them, they all whipped their heads in opposite directions.
He walked back, tablet still in his hands. “Sorry.” Kita apologized, before going back to the meeting without addressing the obvious elephant in the room. Thankfully, Atsumu was the type of person who couldn’t read the room.
“Kita-san, ya never told us ya have a girlfriend?” He said loudly in disbelief, as if he’s been betrayed. Kita, still monotonous as ever, stared up at him with blank eyes. “It doesn’t have anything to do volleyball.” He said matter-of-factly, like stating that the grass is green and the sky is blue.
“So she IS yer girlfriend!” Atsumu exclaimed. Kita looked around at the wide, anticipating eyes of his teammates. He was confused why they’re cared so much. Nevertheless, he slowly nodded.
Then chaos erupted.
Aran was the first to complain. “Oh, come on! Kita, we’ve been friends three years, and I never knew?” He whined, arms crossed over his chest. The shorter male flinched, not realizing how that may come off rude. “Kita-san, cold, scary Kita-san… a girlfriend?” Atsumu complained, hands in his hair.
“I mean, it’s not that surprising.” Osamu mumbled, shrugging his shoulders. “She was real pretty.” Suna followed.
Kita crossed his arms over his chest, which was enough to get everybody to shut up. There was silence amongst them for a couple seconds, Kita finally sighed. “We don’t have time to be talking about this. Now focus.” He said.
Though, they didn’t miss the way the tips of his ears were red in embarrassment.
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hamletunfortunately · 1 year ago
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gonna ham post violently today
Have we ever EVER considered a Hamlet thats simply monotone? one that isn't screaming his emotions and crying in your face?
what about the Hamlet that only yells when hes truly angry? that just gets slightly aggressive body language and a stern voice when people annoy him?
maybe im just an idiot, maybe i just dont understand Shakespeare, but i genuinely have never been able to read TBONTB in this.. aggressive..loud, yelling manner! he seems dead! tired! like he's over it, clearly at some point in the play hes just OVER it, right?
it might not be good performance-wise, maybe not as interesting, but damn, it sure would be a joy to watch a quiet, dying Ham. maybe a guy who got worn out of talking with his entire body, or shouting every word, that maybe he just got *tired* and decided "i dont have the energy to put on a show right now".
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 9 months ago
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Dungeon Meshi: Delicious in RPG!
(Sprites + bonus art here!)
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unpretty · 16 days ago
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kink taxonomy hell ask: Reading through these has been both very fun and fascinating to me. A bit like scuba-diving, joyfully pursuing a world to which I am related to but do not belong in. I have a sneeze fetish, which I'm trying to feel less shame around, even though I still really wish I was more than passively into SOMETHING that involves actual genitals, and you seem to be accepting of pretty much everything so. Obviously finding porn is a bit of a different process for me than most, but my biggest peeve is that, inconveniently, I'm really not into graphic snot, which most people with this fetish seem to be and am CONSTANTLY getting jump scared by it. Why is my brain like this couldn't I just have a piss kink or something like a normal person? But no :(
even the sneeze fetishists aren't interested in all the stunt snot they're drenching the blowjob porn in
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jichanxo · 8 months ago
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early sunday six 🌼
tags! @four-white-trees @passthroughtime @phantasy14 @overdevelopedglasses @skysquid22
here's something with kuwana that also has lost judgment spoilers. (i don't remember who has and hasn't played, so excuse the tag😭)
Here he thought when he was disgraced and fired that he wouldn’t have any more parent-teacher interviews. Now they wracked his nerves something fierce, and he had a corpse left afterwards instead of paperwork. Hell of a trade-off, that was. Sometimes third year students used to ask why he decided to become a teacher, and he’d shrugged and given some canned response about how fulfilling it was. 
Kuwana’s got another bully’s corpse tucked away in a safe, isolated corner of the world. At least now when parents asked him what he had to gain helping with such an act, he could muster up a little more gusto when he called it fulfilling. Even though most of them gave him a look like he was full of shit, they’d trusted him enough to follow through with it, didn’t they? 
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archersgoon · 9 months ago
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the thing about bartolina dying is that it did doom finnikin to be a freak about women but i don't think it's just due to the lack of her presence i think there's several other factors. because bartolina dying fucked everyone up forever. (see the rock & in particular celestina jr.'s response to jasmina.) like finnikin wasn't lacking for female role models in his early life he spent a lottt of time on the rock & his only named family members are the celestinas. but i think it's possible they were a little um. permissive with bartolina's son. in a way they might not have been if bartolina herself had been around.
i guess there's abian. but i don't think she was as present as she would've needed to be to offset the rock-nexus/king's guard (u know many of them were on some insane shit re women) split finnikin grew up with. because she was there when he was a newborn but she was speedrunning her relationship with august, so i think she would;ve been like. moving away & then busy, esp. w/ celie (celie disabling childhood illness truthers rise up), so she (& august) were a lot more distant than they may have originally planned (& trevanion (and maybe bartolina depending on what you think her rship w/ abian was like) may have wanted them to be). like you can see he doesn't really engage with them post-curse (pre-canon) & pre-curse it mostly seems to be a matter of "well august's my dad's friend, i guess i can play with his weird fucking kid. oh & abian's here too". so you end up with a finnikin who only really recognises his father & the guard as like. real guys with a life outside of him. & then post-curse obviously we know what sir topher's like. i'm going to be honest here guys i don't think he did a good job with the deeper-level stuff but i've lost my thread with this so i'll move on
like i think a good contrast here is lucian. bc he still has misogyny problems but they're much more in keeping with what seems to be like, standard in-universe. bc 1. he presumably still remembers his mother to some extent. 2. his life pre-canon was a lot more stable (i think saro -- and presumably his wife -- being a couple decades older than trevanion & having well-established job descriptions is a major factor in this) even post-curse the monts stayed sedentary & together. 3. he doesn't have being bartolina's son hanging over his head, but he does have many many female relatives both willing and able to say can you be serious for five fucking minutes you miserable worm. jesus fucking christ. any time he says something particularly egregious
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edge-oftheworld · 6 months ago
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one thing I love about following celebrities/artists who are honest and proactive about their mental health struggles etc is I can’t count the number of times someone I know is going through something and I’m like ‘I’ve got a song for u’ and how much of my life involves telling myself ‘if [redacted] can do something/get better/etc then so can i’ (and having actual real evidence of it in front of me) and I can’t understate how much I appreciate these things.
but at the same time it involves a whole lot of watching people I care about suffer and you learn to read the signs and infer between the lines in songs and interviews, and yes we can never fully know what they don’t share with us, but when they do share things it’s not a big stretch to be like ‘this seems like it’s what life is like for you and I have taken encouragement from it but you deserve so much better’. and it’s easy to find ways to get angry at a predatory industry and realise things that could be hurtful if you’re already fragile.
and we can advocate for some things and help ourselves and the people around us feel better but it’s hard to meaningfully reach your faves as an individual. and there are things we can’t say on the internet in too much detail, speculation becomes the harmful kind of gossip, and so sometimes it’s a whole lot of internally saying ‘you’re doing incredibly well to have gotten to where you are but I wish for your sake things would get better faster’
#curse and catch 22 (not the song)#I didn’t mean to make this so anonymous as a post but maybe. it’s applicable to a lot of artists. I don’t know#just thinking about how sometimes someone will say something and it’s like ‘oh honey’ if you can see. why they might be saying it#like a glimpse into the top of an iceberg that makes a lot of sense to be there given other things they do and talk about#I feel like we’re in a unique position as a fandom with the way all four of them have been so vulnerable in different ways#and they may not be perfect but imo no one deserves to suffer like that especially for an extended amount of time. but the thing is#sometimes the fans are suffering and so are our faves and people appreciate the relatability and don’t have any basic compassion#or ability to see past their own struggles. with this fandom especially compared to a lot of others I’ve been in and I think I know why#but in the end the way I see it we’ve gotten so much relatable content and encouragement (bc the Finding The Positives Vibes which are ther#and sometimes there’s nothing we can give back apart from being a part of systemic change which all of us deserve for ourselves too#idk if this band is unique in this or I just find them more relatable personally and thus easier to see how hard they’ve worked#on themselves and taking risks in order to be honest. and it reminds me of the quote about how suffering won’t make your art better#healing will. and so imo anyone whose art is really good when they are going through a lot has me thinking. imagine what it’d be like#when life isn’t so hard for you?? or when you’re getting better but it just takes a long time I’m like. you deserve to feel better faster#this all said I’m incredibly proud and I’m not trying to insinuate there’s anything catastrophic going on bc there absolutely isnt#I am not in any way worried. I’ve seen tragedies about to happen and these guys show none of the signs. but I do relate to a lot of tidbits#pertaining to. certain chronic mental illnesses and/or being neurodivergent in an unaccommodating world (don’t ask which)#things I would anticipate would be a lot harder when there’s hordes of often fickle occasionally predatory fans to contend with#sometimes I just think of this idk#celebrities are people#5 seconds of summer#5sos#5sos fandom#cw mental health things
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tellmegoodbye · 6 months ago
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“Gabriel's killer having something to do with Carlos' past (I have a little more in depth spec on this if anyone is interested 👀)”
Harley, I’m definitely interested! 👀👀
This isn't fleshed out by any means but this is just an idea that's been floating around in my head, pretty much since the finale!
I think when it comes to Gabriel's killer, it actually doesn't have anything to do with Gabriel himself. The assumption as of now is that this murder is in relation to one of his cases, or maybe even something in his personal life, but it would be an interesting plot twist to learn that Gabriel was only the beginning and only one factor in a much larger story, one that includes Carlos being at the center of all of it!
Over the course of his investigation, maybe Carlos learns that he actually has a history with this person. This opens up the potential for an episode that introduces us to Carlos' past. We get to see how he knows this person, and what exactly happened between them. It could possibly be related to something he worked on years ago, or even a more recent case that we saw on screen.
As well as that, we also get to see him experience some guilt for not realizing this sooner, and see him blame himself for his father's death, and maybe even potentially putting TK and the rest of his family in danger.
Maybe the thing that initally causes Carlos to fall back into his obsession is learning that this person has been after him the entire time, and when he learns that Gabriel was just the beginning, he will have no choice but to keep digging. Especially if TK ends up being threatened or is in danger in any way. We could even have some really angsty scenes between him and TK if he neglects to tell him that he's working on the case, or why he's working on it, because of course he'll want to protect him!
I know a lot of us want to see Carlos go feral on anyone who hurts his husband (and we do know TK gets hurt at some point 👀) so I'm manifesting it!
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onboardsorasora · 10 months ago
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iii-days-grace · 1 year ago
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not actually sure, i do think he gets vamped at some point in his story. atm i think he's human, but still ~special in some way.
still have coffee and Beverages on the brain (which vampires can also enjoy because it's from a living plant). coffee is irl magic for everyone though, ha.
the gift shop and auxiliary services are run by little old ladies and helpful odd folk from the community, like in real life. they too are more likely to be strange and magical, so the cafe is run by like, coffee witches:P
not all witches are vampires, but undead medical arts and witchcraft are both herbal heavy so they overlap a lot, haha. vampires are nocturnal by nature but they're also just caffeine addicts.
jim's connection to the undead and magical world is probably somewhere through here. that stuff is probably not a huuuge secret, but most of the story is from the undead perspective anyway so this is a human-eye view (initially, at least).
though either way he could always be a witch for Halloween with the geck as his familiar!
@ims0vain
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heartyearning · 1 year ago
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smth which i feel & i don't know if it's true/real or if it's something only i'm experiencing in an interaction but .. when autistic it is so hard to take the idea of taking up space to heart. like i dont think you actually want me to do that is the thing. this sounds so 14yr old vent post (no offense to 14 yr olds you'll get it when u get it) but its not like oh woe is me everyone hates me its that i notice that i have discussions with professors which go on for way too long because i'm enjoying talking to them and i think they are enjoying it too, except i'm also hyperaware of time passing and the fact that they need to speak to many other students except *I* dont know how to end a conversation in the middle of that conversation. that seems like something teachers should have to learn to do. sort of just set barriers around time. therapists (at least mine) are good at doing this so naturally it's crazy.
anyway theres that and then on the other hand i just wanted to say the completely unrevolutionary thing that it is SO exhausting to be constantly tuned into what someone else is feeling/thinking because god forbid you say something they interpret as disrespectful and they either point it out like adults or they take responsibility for their own feelings. actually deeply fucked. just had a call with my mother btw and apparently some things have been festering & talking to her kinda made me put them into words and realise that i'm actually mad at like 3 of my teachers for making me do SO much extra work because they refuse to meet me on my level. and 2 other teachers are in this same sitch except we're sorta on the same level anyway so that helps and i really like them so even when i do heavy lifting i get so much more out of it so that makes it ok (and also theyre just New so its more a thing of getting the hang of them more than anything else) anyway now i will go to sleep and quite likely have stress based nightmares about this exact thing (again!) good night <3
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