#it seems so fun but also I question whether I am capable of it

[inkovert]

I want to write something fun and silly that doesn't really matter and that I don't care about carefully crafting with logical plot or well-thought out character arcs or perfectly worded sentences.

I want to write like nobody's watching

[simonalkenmayer]

this is so random but I dunno, you seem wise. If you don’t have any response or advice, then that’s quite alright, it’s not like this is your responsibility.

I’m in a dilemma where I am so attracted to this girl(I say girl not woman because we’re both teenagers) but I don’t know if I could have any kind of intimate relationship with her that wouldn’t be me using her. As in, even if she consented, I think she might just be too vulnerable and I’m not.

Because I believe that that wouldn’t be right, because I don’t think it would be ethical, I’ve decided I shouldn’t proposition her. But how should I move forward with these feelings? They’ve been hard to cope with. She’s so cute and I’m just someone that feels emotions intensely. How should I let go and just be friends with her?

Don’t worry, I’ll also consult a therapist about it soon.

Thank you.

Wisdom? Ha. I am not so stupid as to claim wisdom. Perspective? Age? Those I will claim.

Here is my reply.

Why do you have the right to decide what she is allowed to experience? That’s very self-centered, don’t you think? Doesn’t seem like you actually have a high opinion of her, if you think somehow you’re entitled to determine whether or not she is “being used”. Seems as if you think you’re smarter/more capable/more knowledgeable, and speak of her as if she’s fragile or weak, compared to your machinations or whatnot. No idea what sex you are, but that’s the kind of thing men tend to do to women that vexes them most.

My reply sounds harsh to you? Well, good, because hopefully it will show you how silly the above situation is.

It is perfectly fine to ask someone if they’d prefer to have only a physical relationship, with extra features to that, friendship and so forth, to be added as desired. There isn’t one type of relationship. There are many. And you can build one that suits you both. You could have a conversation about your mutual thoughts and make a decision together instead of deciding you ought to choose for her.

Don’t decide things for her, because that tells her you don’t respect her agency.

Or…could it be you’re making that choice so that you never have to face actually walking up to the girl and telling her how much you admire her. Terrifying, but one of the only experiences humans seem to feel with any intensity. Don’t deprive yourself of that emotional rollercoaster. I hear it’s one of humanity’s chief delights.

If she has a vulnerability you can see, then simply don’t exploit it, but instead make her aware of it and strengthen her. That, my friend is the active form of “love” such as humans feel it. By helping her tackle those things that make her vulnerable without exploiting them, you prove you are the sort who truly does have what it takes to be a safe place for her.

Do yourself a favor. Tell her you like her and end the debate. If she says no, you move on. Because now the question is moot. If she’s interested, well then you get the fun of establishing your boundaries and deciding what sort of relationship would be equitable. With her input, since she is a thinking feeling person and not an object.

Humans waste so much time agonizing rather than just solving. To hell with fear or nerves. Just do the thing and enjoy the next phase of existence.

I advise forthright honesty in all things. Yes it can make you vulnerable to others, but it’s also something that can provide you with incredible strength further down the road. being vulnerable with someone shows them you trust them and is the basis of a relationship.

Do the thing. Then agonize, if such is required.

[amysubmits]

My gf wants to be punished by me. She really perks up when I give her an admonishing look, or talk sternly to her. She seems to find my authority and discipline hot.

I do enjoy the idea of punishing her, but more as a sadist. Like, I want to make her suffer — but not because she did anything wrong, but simply because I can. To me, it shows her submission and the power she eagerly gives me, and I find that incredibly hot.

The problem is, I don’t really feel comfortable punishing her for specific transgressions. I think it’s because I don’t feel comfortable with giving her rules. She’s an incredibly capable person who doesn’t need rules enforced in order to function well; she’s up at dawn, punctual, studious, etc. Whereas, I’m actually the one who struggles with things like being on time, being clean, eating regularly… So punishing her for minor transgressions like being late, or sleeping in, or whatever, feels incredibly hypocritical! (Also, it would be so rare. And usually she has good reasons, too, bc she doesn’t fuck up by accident.) I just don’t see how I could ever have the right to expect her to endure a punishment, when she is so good and I am not.

I am also extremely cautious about introducing punishment for more serious things like if she actually “failed” me or hurt me in some way. (Eg. Say she forgot our anniversary, or started an argument and felt bad about that, or was rude / disrespectful to me.) These are more serious issues than a broken arbitrary rule (eg. “Address me by a title” or “Kneel when you enter the room” etc.). In that case, it’s a complex issue; I’d want to press pause, discuss and understand — not jump into kinky sex / punishment stuff. Not to mention, these issues are shared issues; it’s rare that it’s one person’s fault, so it feels weird to me to punish only one person. (And I don’t want punishment for myself; it would probably feel really triggering.)

Plus, she already feels horrible! She is incredibly perfectionistic, and especially in major transgressions, her internal narrative is more like, “I fucked up and failed you.” It feels needless to dwell on it — I want her to be able to make mistakes and know that she’s safe; that “I’m sorry” is enough; to not beat herself up about it. I worry that punishing would draw extra attention to the issue, and make her feel even worse / like it really IS all her fault.

Finally, I guess there is a distinction between punishment and “punishment,” and a lot of this consideration goes out the window if she’s only after the fun, hot kind. That’s worth discussing with her. But even in the fun “punishment” scene, I don’t really know what to punish her for, because we don’t have rules and she’s so good that she doesn’t really need them. I don’t even know what rules she would have, or how to come up with them! (The internet only recommends punishments, but I’ve found relatively little about how to make rules, both serious and fun ones, or the logic behind what is healthy or not.) Btw we’re not in a 24/7 dynamic or anything, we just do bedroom stuff.

Sorry for the long ask; I tried to edit it down but I have so many questions and need help. Thank you!

Hello :)

It sounds like you're pretty solid in your understanding of what you are and aren't comfortable with. It doesn't sound like punishing her for 'serious' infractions, big or small, is something you're open to. And that's totally valid. It sounds like you aren't certain if she's specifically after the serious type or the sexy kind. If she was after the serious kind, she may not like your boundaries, but it sounds like you know what yours are. If you haven't already, I'd explain this all to her similar to how you explained it to me, so that she has a full understanding of where you are coming from. And then whether or not she had initially intended for them to be 'serious' or not, I think these types of interests always link back to our sexuality in some way or another, even if it's kind of indirect. So, I'd wonder if you could find ways within "play" or "scenes" that could let her get to see you be pseudo-stern with her, and that could let you engage your sadistic side. To avoid risking her actually feeling guilty, maybe the 'rules' or 'infractions' would have to be things that are outside of her normal behavior. For example, if you use Sir during scenes and would worry that creating a rule of 'you must always end statements to me with yes sir or no sir during scenes' might make her actually feel guilty if she forgets - then maybe make up rules that are just things that could not possibly be accidental or guilt related, and would just exist as an invitation to play. As a doofy example, you make a ruler that is "No calling me Mr/Ms/Mrs. Babboon" which she has never called you and never (normally) would, so then if she does call you that, it's a really clear invitation to "punish" her. Of course, this is just if this type of play would be within both of your boundaries, but it kinda sounded to me like it probably would be. Perhaps you guys can brainstorm other ways to play with the kinks you have while avoiding those boundaries you have and also avoiding her guilt/perfectionism triggers.

Good luck to you guys. :)

[laurelnose]

Forgive my desperate urgency but you are The Person whose opinion I must have on this topic-- I don't know very much about D&D and especially not about dragonborn, I am only in the BG3 fandom for Vibes, but this came up as of course it did because I'm me--

DO DRAGONBORN HAVE GIZZARDS

please we must discuss this

A VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION DESERVING OF SERIOUS CONTEMPLATION

So dragonborn are descended directly from chromatic/metallic/gem dragons in some way (the exact way is a point of theological contention). The difference between those three dragon types is, to the best of my limited knowledge, not germane to the discussion. I will consider dragons as a single category.

Dragons are definitely not reptiles. They are warm-blooded and they act like cats. I do not actually think the cat thing is relevant to them being reptiles or not, Forgotten Realms wiki, but thank you anyways. So they are not like crocodiles, but are they like birds? Probably not. Although they did evolve from proto-dragon species which were among the few survivors of the cataclysm that killed the dinosaurs. Much like birds! (Or maybe they were created by the gods. Whatever. I’m not getting into a Faerûnian creationism debate. Anyways, in this context only, por qué no los dos.)

Dragons are preferentially carnivorous, but functionally omnivorous, with an emphasis on the omni. They can eat and digest just about anything, including inorganic materials. This ability is because of their “innate elemental nature”, which kind of makes me think dragons don’t really have digestive systems as we know them. They’re more like great primordial engines. I think this precludes gizzards in the dragons themselves — how would they get stones in their gizzards if their digestive system can break down stone? What would they even use them for? So if dragonborn have gizzards, they did not get them from the dragons.

Dragonborn do not seem to usually be capable of regularly digesting rocks, so if they swallow inorganic matter it should stay where it’s put. Baby dragonborn are born toothless and are fed by a lactating parent (dragonborn → monotremes??) until they grow teeth, and then are graduated through soft foods up to regular food (consisting of much more meat than your average humanoid). They are capable of digesting non-meat foods, but it doesn’t look like they have the dentition to chew non-meat foods. Which is why birds of just about all diets have gizzards — they don’t got no teeth! I’m going to go with either dragonborn have trouble eating vegetarian meals, as they have no grinding molars, or they do have gizzards. Courtesy of whatever primeval force or deity created them, maybe.

I also considered whether, if dragonborn are normally gizzardless, the Dark Urge specifically might have been created with special dietary capabilities, but you don’t need a gizzard for, say, osteophagy. (Notably, the only primarily osteophagous bird, the bearded vulture, has lost its gizzard.) And I feel like the other things animals use gizzards to digest are not quite On Theme, as it were. However, they might possibly, like bearded vultures, have a hardened, partially keratinized digestive lining for dramatic osteophagy (involving sharp broken-off pieces of bones).

On a different hand, dragonborn manifest draconic abilities at different levels, ranging from different or multiple breath weapons, dragonfear, or abilities from Bahamut or Tiamat. I wonder if some dragonborn, maybe those with particularly strong breath weapons (since the breath weapons are formed from elemental energy produced by dragons’ unique diets), might also manifest the ability to Just Eat Fucking Rocks. Not a glamorous ability! But very fun I think! Possibly more fun for dragonborn which do not natively have gizzards, as having a sort of elemental furnace in their belly instead of a stomach would then enable them to more comfortably eat food like salads.

On another totally different hand, polymorphed dragons (or not polymorphed, if you’re not a coward) are supposed to be able to hybridize with most of the humanoids, producing children that may take after either or both parents, and aarakocra and kenku are Right There. I mean, not in BG3, but, y’know. Half-dragons and dragonborn are different, but still interesting.

Also, dragons in the Forgotten Realms taste like turkey. I don’t know what you can do with this information but I feel like you would enjoy knowing it

[thegratefulsouth]

TBOC thoughts feelings questions reelings

This is kind of a placeholder post before I do my rewatch of DD S1, gathering things to look out for. I'm trying to find my thoughts! The things I'm missing. Little bit on Isabelle.

The most recent trailer. I know there are differing opinions over whether it is Carol or Isabelle asking Daryl to tell her a story.

All my thoughts are hinged on not really knowing what does and what does not have a deeper meaning or connection to Caryl (the boats), which is distracting, so I'm going to ignore that and just delve in.

"Tell me a story."

My thoughts go straight to Carol in Alexandria, and her reasoning that, "these people are children, and children like stories."

And Isabelle is infantile within her manipulation. She's perfectly capable of looking after herself, in the way Carol learned to. Isabelle doesn't seem to want to do that though? Not when Daryl's around. Gotta rewatch.

This is at a time when Daryl's mind is still buzzing with Carol saying, "You never have to worry about me, Daryl."

Leading into TBOC, I don't have any concerns about Caryl's feelings for each other or their loyalty. But I am prepping for an emotional journey with a Nun who recklessly lies, who could potentially feel threatened, who could not necessarily cause harm, but could maybe not intervene if it was needed. All in order to benefit herself, what she wants, despite how this might affect someone she seems to care about. That's what I see! It could be interesting. Or it could all just be a hinge. Like all the boats. I really wanted the boats to mean something.

Further referencing stories, Daryl says to Isabelle (in 1x06), "This has always been the story, ever since I washed ashore here." Cementing that his motivation to return home has never wavered.

The family thing? The promise? Home?

The promise is another hinge. Daryl knows something is up with Carol. "You sure you're ok?" She misses you, Daryl. You're not there. She needs you!

"I'll be back in about a week, I promise."

This promise is mostly used to propel Daryl's story, like he needs to return because he made a promise. (Not just because he wants to go home). There are other promises being made around this, to get to the nest, anything related to the ultimate goal of Daryl fulfilling his own promise to Carol (his happy ending).

This promise carries more weight than, "it's not like we're never gonna see each other again." It's in the same vein as, "I wish you were coming with me." In their radio call, the line cuts out, so there's no way of knowing how they might have said goodbye to each other.

So, what I think, and stay with me, is that everytime Daryl talks about the promise he made, he's just basically saying that he loves Carol. No, this is going to make my rewatch so fun, let me have this! I can't remember so much of this show I swear.

I mentioned in my DD overall thoughts, that some things are too painful to say (eg, Carol's name over Connie's in the name drop, IMHO). It's easier for Daryl to say that he made a promise, or that he has family back home, and also, nothing with unsaid looks, than it is for him to say that he left the love of his life, and he promised (loves) her, and he needs her.

"He is the the only family I have left."

This is a tying thread for me, this family thing.

Daryl says, "I got family waiting for me back home."

I have 3 points:

1. Carol is trying to convince someone to help her get to Daryl? She's trying to make her case as convincing as possible, really sell that thing with butter and icing.

2. There may be others at the Commonwealth Carol could consider family. Like who though? Ezekiel and Jerry are friends, but family is under the skin. Family was that core group. The kids aren't going to provide her with that companionship she longs for. I'm not sure on the timeline if Rick and Michonne are back yet. But my point is, Carol's happy ending is not going home to an empty apartment, she doesn't want to be alone, she tells Daryl he never needs to worry about her, with the commitment of someone who made dinner plans when they were feeling social and energetic, and now she's home in her pyjamas, and Daryl hears straight through it.

3. When Carol dreams, she dreams of Daryl and Henry. I think it's reasonable to suggest that in her mind, the notion of a nuclear family springs, and in that, Daryl is really the only family she has left. This is the empty apartment thing again, but I like having 3 points. It makes sense to me. She is his home, she is his promise, she is his family. And he is hers.

There is annoyingly a fair bit of discussion about maybe Daryl realising that he actually belongs where he doesn't belong, and that his home is somewhere else, like in France, away from his family. This is irritating because Daryl completely ignores this line of thought, instead of just shutting it down. But, also, Daryl completely ignores this line of thought, and the only thing he says of that notion, to Isabelle, at the nest, is:

"I kinda like it here. Yeah. It kind of grows on you. Feels like home."

But he says this as he's getting ready to leave Isabelle, and more significantly, Laurent, in this place, which feels homey. He's reassuring himself that he's doing the right thing by these new clingy folk who like to pull at his saviour complex heartstrings. Daryl is happy, his boat is coming in. He spends a significant amount of time staring out the window during this scene, where I'm wondering if the ocean is? It's an island right. Where the boats sometimes are? Cause the boat is his path home. The point is, he's not entirely present in this moment. Not with Isabelle and her wound.

And the very last thing he says on the matter is, "And this place feels like home to you, and I truly hope it is for both of you. But I have my own home to get back to."

Lastly, I love Caryl. I already have more than I need from this beautiful pair. But these characters deserve to be happy. They want what they want, I tell you.

[sweetfirebird]

OKAY so I don't know when the trend started and I do not object to the trend, but having read several of the "magic exists alongside regency/19th century/late Victorian/Edwardian/just post WWI" m/m romances they all... every single one that I've read (which is obviously not all of them) has kept the existing historical time period biases and prejudices and laws in place, whether or not the magic is known.

And I am sure there are a multitude of reasons for this: it's easier, for one, for the author to not have to add a new level of worldbuilding to a romance novel that the rest of the world unfortunately will not take seriously. It adds a level of drama. It shuts up the people concerned with "historical accuracy." It can be done really well, in really painful but good ways. And so on.

But I read another one of these yesterday, and it's from a few years ago so trends might have changed since then. But I read it and I thought a couple of things that I've thought before about the current adult fantasy/romantasy thing but this was a more explicit and direct thought.

That maybe, just maybe, a lot of this is also because of Harry Potter, and the generation of people who grew up with it and are now writing, or the people who read it as young adults and are now writing, or the people who want to emulate a popular thing, are constructing their stories this way without really thinking about it. Or trying to do something new with it.

--Not that people are required to do something new with every trope out there. But you'd think I'd find a few books where the status quo was different, is all I am saying.

Anyway, it occurred to me after I finished this one that if this book had started out originally--even if only in the author's mind--as HP fanfiction, I could see it. And then I thought, oh, is that maybe the reason (or part of the reason) that so many people in m/m romance are writing worlds with magic but in which the people with magic have not altered the course of world history in any way, even when capable of doing so?

And it's a fine, fun trope but every book? Every single one leaves classism, racism, and homophobia of the time intact and the magic world seems unconcerned with that. Or, they could even make it *worse* because of magical interference. It's not like people with magic would be any less dickish than everyone else. But it's the lack of questioning that bugs me when I read them.

(And also like a lot of trends in media, starts to get fairly predictable, but predictable is part of what people like about romance, so that's whatever.)

I never read HP besides the first book, but I did used to read HP AUs (because they were everywhere) and to me, they just read like original fiction with fun gimmicky magic shit, and that's what I think I was feeling again when reading these.

No judgment, obviously. Just something that was bugging me and now I think it will better because I've named the beastie.

[dastardlydumb]

redesigning Viktor

how to go about it? as i'm drawing up body shapes and silhouettes to use in a fun little attempt at redesigning a character such as viktor the machine herald with a more modern take or just a bit of a character update in general. at first i thought perhaps giving him a bad posture would be a good idea to use to accentuate the fact he carries a giant hand laser on his shoulder and give him a bit more of a feral vibe by essentially stretching him out like you see with most tech priests from warhammer since that's his original inspiration. but then i start to think it might go against his personality and character to be seen as something with a bad posture. plus if you were to put him besides singed their character silluhette would be far too similar which wouldn't be ideal in a character lineup.

so then a more tall and regal yet a bit inhuman stretching of the character seems a better choice. and i think it'll be what i end up landing on were it not for Jhin who could be seen similarly even with the weird pauldron on the side. but Jhin is very lanky and thin so if i give Viktor a bit more of a buff with his chest armor it shouldn't be a problem in a character line up.

then there's the question of whether or not to keep his hood on or off. if he has it on he sorta runs the risk of looking to similar to other hooded caped character which mostly include Ashe Xayah who both have feminine figure so maybe he won't run that risk too much. giving him a hood would arguably make him seem more shepherd or herald like befitting his title. the spiky mess of hair can just be underneath it the same way he hides his unaugmented parts of himself with a shawl/cape.

having his pauldron jut out and be kinda flat would separate him from getting confused with jhin who has a very tall upright pauldron. i am aware that their pauldrons are on the opposites sides but that hardly matters in terms of confusing their silhouettes.

arguably his claw is his most distinguishing feature if you were to put him in a character line up. tho making that work for him in terms of aesthetically pleasing character designs could prove to be difficult. but it's one of those curve balls you just have to roll with and try and see what works and what doesn't.

he's a spellcaster/scientist with a staff and with that comes the opportunity to display his aesthetic and personality through the object with which he does all his zappy science magic stuff. i'd say that keeping the wires but making them a bit more visible and overall giving the staff the appearance of some sort of container for the hexcore is a good idea unless i was to decide that the hexcore/his ult ability "chaos storm" actually remains in his chest and he just throws it out whenever he uses the ability like in his battlecast skin model. either way, i think the staff should look almost like a lightning rod with a container for the crystal or hexcore at the head of the staff. you could also implement some aesthetic choices of his cane from arcane into the design but i'm currently focusing on his league design. otherwise i'd say it would be a great idea to almost show signs of it being capable of somehow collapsing into a crutch or a cane with the push of a button on it somewhere, or just having it be able to double as a crutch.

i would like to incorporate more bronze or design choices that ties him together to his creation blitzcrank. it would only make sense that they would look similar to show Viktors style in engineering and making their lore connection a bit more recognisable despite their design differences. blitzcrank is very friendshaped but i think that generally making viktors armor somehow more angular and a bit more like scraps of metal welded together would accomplish this.

Viktor is a scientist who looks like a mage, or to use his original concept title he is a "hexmage" and in the league universe that's almost the same as saying he's an artificial mage made through or powered by hextech. but more so than that he is a leader type of character, in fact most of his the skinlines that he's in, he has to fill the role of villainous leader. admittedly in his league lore its a role he has very little interest in, aside from maybe using it as an opportunity to educate people. but it's a role league seems very intent on him filling somehow. And with that being the case then it's the most natural choice to give him a design the exudes some sort of power and authority or perhaps even charisma that people from zaun would see and think yeah i wanna follow that guy into a revolution.

with all that and a bit more in mind it's easy to see how difficult it is to actually redesign this guy. but fortunately his design is so very old that quite literally anything would be a step up from his current messy design (which i still find adorable in its own right but by god please this man needs an update)

[syncrovoid-presents]

There is something quite fascinating about the concept of living in a house that is also alive in it's own right (yes this is about Home from Welcome Home).

(I will use it/its pronouns for Home, as Wally does in one audio clip)

From the new update we now know that Home is not just alive, but is capable of full conversations and even plays games with the rest of the Neighbourhood (and no one says it is strange that this occurs, they do this a lot)! Barnaby has a conversation with Home, proving that it can speak to more than just Wally.

And that is fascinating, because it means that Home truly is the 9th neighbour of Welcome Home, just one that isn't ""alive"" enough to get it's own About page. It shares it with Wally. It shares a lot with Wally, and it is funny because it seems like Home may be more opinionated than Wally, they are not empty!

And not haunted, and have not grown, and have not evolved past their original purpose. Home seems more comfortable with the rest of the neighbourhood than Wally does, and it almost makes me wonder if Wally is supposed to be living in it.

The town of Welcome Home is also called Home, though the other houses aren't alive like Home is. I wonder if it is called that because it was Home's Home originally and it was named after it?

I'm unsure how to put it, but between Wally and Home Wally seems to have the personality you'd expect a house to have. While we do not know if Wally genuinely doesn't understand many concepts or whether he is acting as a stand in to ask the questions young children may have, it is still curious that he's had to be taught so much (though he is an eager learner! That is so fun!)

Like you would expect a house to not understand sleep, or be taught how to laugh, not know how to stand up if it falls, etc etc. Home also seems to be better at taking part in conversations than Wally, which is unusual for a House.

(Side note: I am only saying Home is better than Wally at continuing conversations in terms of, would you expect a house to know much about conversations? Personally I think Wally is quite charming in how he speaks, his voice is easy to understand and his words are articulate and clear. He might take time, but not always. He is just choosing his words, and that could mean he wants to make sure he says the right things to convey what he means.)

It is curious, that is all I wish to say! The theory that Home may be experiencing the world through Wally is an interesting one, one that I do not believe nor disbelieve, but the concept is interesting! Wally has no origin other than he lives in Home, so who knows if Home created Wally as a sort of external avatar for learning and experiencing? Or maybe Wally is just quirky haha

I might talk about it more later, but it is interesting that Wally shows less signs of struggling to put his words together when talking on the phone in the hidden phone recording audio. Like he is more at ease speaking to ""us"" rather than his neighbours. Very curious! So much to uncover!

[walkawaytall]

Let’s try this again for the fandom asks because I asked you for non-existent numbers the first time. 🤷🏻‍♀️ T, U, V?

Haha...I'm glad you popped back in with letters! :D

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

Yeah, I don't care what the Star Wars databank or any other official material says: I think the first half of the The Empire Strikes Back makes way more sense if Han and Leia had been involved romantically in some way or at least were heading very obviously in that direction and were both on the same page, something happened -- whether it was the infamous Ord Mantell trip that we all like to write about or just Leia and/or Han shutting down because of Baggage™ and miscommunication or some weird third thing -- and they called it off all before the movie starts up. Their actions and reactions on Hoth are not those of two people who've been griping at and about each other for three years straight; they're the actions and reactions of two wounded and angry people who still seem weirdly comfortable with being in each other's personal space and working together. I'm not saying it's what the filmmakers intended, but I am saying it makes way more sense than the official "first kiss happened leaving Hoth" story.

I won't die on this hill because I do recognize my own bias as a woman with ADHD, but I do think Leia Organa is written, however unintentionally, as someone who has ADHD.

On an entirely related note, I have grown basically convinced that Leia was not supposed to melt Han out of carbonite when she did. The entire rescue plan is bonkers and makes virtually no sense unless Luke can suddenly see every aspect of the future in HD, but her timing makes even less sense to me. Once again, I don't really think it was the filmmakers intention, but I do think it makes more sense if there was some other part of the plan that she circumvented because impulsivity.

Oh, and this isn't something I have any need to die defending -- it's more just cutesy fun than anything -- but "the Organas have a family snowball fight at least once every winter even after Leia's in the Senate" is a thing that keeps popping up in my writing, so I guess this is a minor headcanon of mine.

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

Leia Organa - I don't know, she was I think the first fictional character who I wanted to be like. She's strong and smart and capable and also somewhat witty, and those are attributes I admire.

Anne Shirley (are the Anne books considered part of a fandom?) - I just really like all the Anne books? Anne is smart and funny and relatable. She has faults but she is both well-meaning and generally kind. These books are just really special to me, especially Anne's House of Dreams and I really, really like how Anne both grows as a character as she ages while remaining truly herself.

Remus Lupin - I dunno, I just love Lupin a lot. He's one of the more responsible adults at Hogwarts, seems exceedingly kind to his students, and he carries around chocolate. What's not to love?

V - Which character do you relate to most?

I mean, if we're talking Star Wars, I do relate to Leia some. Not in everything, but...I mean, at the very least, she seems to compensate for not knowing what to do by making sarcastic jokes, and if I'm not making jokes during a stressful/distressing situation...well, it's because I learned that there's a time and place for everything and some people aren't appreciative of that sort of coping mechanism, but I'm still thinking them.

Thanks for the questions!

fandom asks

[kiljoius-writes]

Tag - Chapter Fourteen

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First Chapter

Chapter Fourteen

Anbu – Part One

Hanabi – 23 Konohamaru – 24

tw: smut, and it's in most chapters past this point, be warned.

Image by Ao3 guest commenter archercv90 <3

~~~

Konohamaru’s 24th birthday came and went without Hanabi hearing anything. She supposed it wasn’t much of a milestone, so it made sense he’d forgo celebration. She assumed he had a mission or something like that which would negate any option for an event. However, she was a little bothered to not be in contact for so long. She wondered how long he’d keep this Anbu thing going, especially after…

But as diplomatic and shinobi missions fizzled out even more, still finding herself with little to do as she approached 23, she found herself itching to do something different. After such a long time of peace, there wasn’t much need to meet with other nations and there weren’t many threats overall. Jōnins were reserved for more serious missions, and there just weren’t any. Hanabi felt some sympathy for her fellow jōnins who were having to take up d-rank missions to pay bills, recognizing her privileged life that didn’t require it.

Still, bored was the only way to describe herself. Bored and perhaps missing a certain someone.

“I’m putting in my application to join the Anbu.”

It wasn’t a request, just a simple heads up she was giving her father. It was one of the few times she had seen a brief look of shock on the elder’s face, and she had to repress the instinct to smile. She was slowly learning how to take control over her own life, whether her father was permitting it or not.

“Is that so?” was all he offered back.

“Thought you should know.”

“Well…I thank you for that,” he said, carefully. She was surprised he didn’t put up a fight, but figured he knew there wasn’t much argument to be had. So she simply nodded with her paperwork clutched to her chest before taking off for the Hokage tower.

“Anbu, huh?”

Hanabi nodded. A few beats passed as Kakashi tapped his fingers together, leaning back in his seat. 

“This doesn’t have anything to do with a certain Sarutobi, does it?”

“No, Lord Hokage.” Liar. Her nose crinkled and she resisted the urge to reach up and cover it. “I want to have a meaningful impact on our village. I believe I am more than capable.”

“I also believe you are more than capable, just not whether you’re entirely sure.”

“I am.”

Something about the way Kakashi could force an unreadable expression was unnerving, but she could play that game as well. He leaned forward to rest his elbows on the desk as he lowered his eyes. “Then I will take your application into careful consideration. You’ll hear from me in a few days.”

“Thank you, Lord Sixth.” She bowed before exiting the office, and once she was safely out of view, she skipped down the stairs, confident that she would be accepted soon enough.

Did it have anything to do with a certain Sarutobi? Of course.

But holding the title of Anbu was a fun thought. Until Jun swiftly shut that down.

“Being an Anbu operative is serious, Hanabi,” he told her disapprovingly. Hanabi sat across the bar of his kitchen while he prepped food. “It seems like you’re treating it like a game.”

“Me? Never.” She held up her hand defensively. “I want to serve the village.”

“Sure about that?” he questioned, lowering his eyes at her as he tapped a wooden spoon on a pot before resting it. “Or are you doing it for more selfish reasons?”

“Give me some credit, Jun,” she sighed, dropping her eyes to the counter.

“Anbu see some pretty scarring stuff,” he continued, still staring her down, “honestly, I can’t believe Lord Hokage is even considering it. You know that captured Anbu are expected to destroy their bodies, right?”

“Of course I know that!” Hanabi swallowed at the thought. She did know, but didn’t think on it too much. “I just won’t ever be captured.”

“That kind of confidence is not the good kind,” he sighed with a frown, rounding the counter to sit next to her. She nearly recoiled at his grasp that was meant to be comforting on her hand, instead she stiffened. He caught on immediately, rubbing little circles into it with his thumb and with a gentle voice, told her “Anbu isn’t something you should join simply because you’re bored, Hanabi. I don’t say this lightly, but you’re being a little thoughtless.”

“Jeeze, Jun,” she grumbled, turning from him. “I thought you’d be happy for me.”

“There are so many other things you can do to service the village. Academy teacher, jōnin-sensei, advisor, even working in the hospital.” He gave pause before continuing. “But Konohamaru is in Anbu. You’re not as sneaky as you’d like to think.”

“Oh gods!” She got up from her seat dramatically, turning away from him. “Why does everything have to be all about him?”

“Because you make everything all about him.”

Was it childish for her to stomp out of the apartment in the fashion she did? Yes. Did she care at that moment? No.

-

Hanabi spent her 23rd birthday going through the training program. After a few months, she was officially made an Anbu operative. The day she entered the locker rooms, there were, predictably, hushed whispers around her, but it wasn’t like her academy days. No one there was looking to pick fights.

“Hanabi?”

Surprised was an understatement. Konohamaru seemed floored, based on those collected eyebrows and flushed cheeks. If she didn’t know any better, she’d say his attempt at looking angry was cute.

“The hell are you doing in here?”

Simply, she held up her Anbu mask, red painted into the image of an owl. He gaped at it as she strolled past him nonchalantly.

“No way!” He pressed, following after her.

“Yep,” she responded coolly as she found her locker. She tried not to make it too obvious how much she was enjoying his reaction.

“Why?”

“Why not?”

“Hanabi—what about—did your father say—”

“It doesn’t matter what my father says. He is still the leader of the clan, I have not taken over yet. I might as well serve our village in the interim.”

“Can’t you do it some other way?” He was reminding her of Jun. “Like—you know, become a jōnin instructor, or work at the hospital—”

“You think I’m weak.”

“I do not.”

She eyed him as she carefully peeled off her robes, causing him to visibly wince at her bandaged chest before quickly turning away, red immediately covering his cheeks. A little smirk fell on her lips at his bashfulness. He rubbed at the back of his head as she changed into her uniform.

“Wh-who are you teamed with?” Reluctance in his voice. He peered out the corner of his eye to see the Anbu tattoo on her shoulder, and he frowned.

“Not sure it’s any of your business, Hawthorne.”

To this, he turned, finding her clad in standard Anbu attire. He raised his eyebrows. “And what will they call you?”

“Pagoda.”

“Huh.” He brought a hand to his chin as he observed her.

“What? Don’t like it?”

“I like it.”

“Sure.”

With that, she was called away by a shadowy figure and thus their short, charged interaction was ended.

Seeing him flustered by her was a guilty pleasure if she had to admit it.

Hanabi was surprised to find a lot of Anbu work was escort missions, similar to what Konohamaru and his comrades had been up to when they escorted her to the Land of Lightning. She couldn’t complain, though. It got her out of the village, seeing all different parts of their continent. The only thing she missed was being able to move freely. As a jōnin, when she went out to other parts in and out of the country, she’d have down time to roam their little villages and townships.

That just wasn’t possible for Anbu. Stick to the shadows.

Still, she enjoyed it. Even if it wasn’t with Konohamaru.

Was Kakashi purposely not assigning them together? As the months progressed, she found herself swapped around teams, never staying in one for too long. She wasn’t sure if that was normal, but knew not to question it. She didn’t need to give anyone else any ammo about her underlying intentions.

While there were times her teammates would shed the mask to relax a bit under the cover of trees or darkness, Hanabi opted to keep her face covered as often as possible. She didn’t think there was much of a good reason to remind people that she was a Hyūga whenever her eyes were presented. Something from her younger days gnawed at her, the need to guard herself whenever possible. Even from those she would give her life up for and vice versa.

She saw Konohamaru in passing often enough. Every couple of weeks, they’d see each other in the locker rooms and engage in polite conversation. Too polite, if she could be honest, but it was interaction, nonetheless. Unlike regular shinobi missions, there wasn’t any opportunity to exchange ‘war stories.’ Everything was classified when you’re Anbu. Everything harkened back to their normal, everyday village lives. But it was always short and not quite enough for Hanabi.

When she entered Kakashi’s office in response to a messenger hawk he had used to summon her, Kakashi signaling for Konohamaru to reveal himself from his camouflaging jutsu, her stomach bubbled with excitement. She already knew this would mean she would be placed on a team with him for whatever mission they were to be sent on. True to Anbu fashion, both nodded solemnly to one another without exchanging words or smiles before facing Kakashi.

“Just you two for this one,” he started, a faint pulse of chakra emitting from his palm over a desk drawer. He plucked a scroll from within and swiped his finger across from it, breaking the seal before setting it on the desk in front of them. They both stepped forward and she allowed him to take it as the senior operative. “Northwest of the Land of Fire is an unmarked village. The coordinates are there. You’ll pick up a young boy from the home.” He paused to glance them over. “He may not willingly go with you, but regardless, he must.”

Arms locked behind her, Hanabi tried not to show how tense she was. They weren’t kidnapping a child, were they?

“You’ll take him to a location in the Rivers, close to the border of the Land of Wind. It will not be apparent where exactly the entrance is, so you’ll be heavily relying on the coordinates.” They both nodded. “A man named Jugo will be there awaiting your arrival.”

Had she heard that name before? She wasn’t quite sure. With her mask on, she was able to sneak a look towards Konohamaru, but found nothing off.

“Your success is imperative to this mission. The boy’s quiet retrieval and deposit is of the upmost importance. He…is dangerous.” She wondered whether it was appropriate to ask for more information, but her question was satisfied with his next words, “study the scroll carefully before you leave and ensure you have made all of the necessary preparations.”

“Will do,” Konohamaru responded on behalf of both of them, tucking the scroll into his satchel, then sealing it with a gentle pulse of chakra.

“There is no time limit for this mission, just that it is successful,” he finished as he clasped his hands together. “I’ll see you two soon.”

“Thank you, Lord Hokage,” they spoke in unison before both camouflaged and made way for a spot outside the village within the cover of trees.

“First mission together,” he commented as they dropped the jutsu and settled next to each other on a thick branch. She watched as he peeled off the mask, revealing his face to her for the first time in what felt like months, and she followed suit, resting it on the side of her head. “Seems pretty important.”

She chose not to respond as he unsealed his satchel and pulled the scroll out, instead choosing to scoot closer so she could see the writing as he unraveled it.

Name: Unknown Gender: Male Age: 5 - 8 Height: 1.3 meters Weight: 25 kilograms Hair: Orange Eyes: Orange Complexion: Pale Ability: Senjutsu Personality: Reserved, low threshold for anger, proceed with caution

“Senjutsu? A child?” Hanabi whispered as Konohamaru nodded. She continued scanning the scroll until she reached the end, making mental notes of the coordinates and their descriptions. With that, he rolled up the scroll and held it with one hand towards her. With his other hand, he placed his middle fingers over the middle of the parchment, and she set her middles fingers atop his. A mixture of blue and red chakra emitted from them for a brief moment until it dissipated, sealing the scroll definitively with both their chakra to ensure it could not be opened without both shinobi’s chakra.

“We should get going,” he said, softly as he pulled his mask back on. She responded with a silent nod, mimicking his actions, then joining him in the stand.

It was one of their less charged interactions.

Hanabi knew that joining Anbu wouldn’t lead to romance with Konohamaru, obviously. It was a serious job, and she didn’t take that lightly. Still, she couldn’t help but feel eager to be completing a mission with him.

She just prayed it would be successful.

-

As a tiny shanty town came into view, something about it brought Hanabi unease.

There were five huts scattered across the small square of lush land and only one person was apparently out when they arrived. The lone person seemed to be a farmer, swinging a hoe methodically over a patch of land that looked nearly completely tilled. Konohamaru appeared next to her, crouching below her as he cupped his chin. She glanced down when he gently prodded her calf, signaling the middle shack to her.

With a nod, she silently activated her byakugan to scan the area. There were four chakra networks total, one of the farmer, two in one of the houses to the left, and a blinding one in the middle house. Blinding to put it lightly. She wasn’t sure she had ever seen one so bright, except perhaps when she saw Naruto use his sage mode. But even that might have paled in comparison to the one in front of her. Byakugan still active, she made the hand sign for affirmative, and they stood in silence for a bit longer.

They had discussed their strategy beforehand, coming up with different scenarios and how they would proceed. She glanced at his hand as he held up four fingers, indicating their fourth plan. She nodded before pulling her hair back to secure into a bun, then fished out a small earpiece to slot into her ear. He repeated her actions with his own earpiece before letting himself fall from the branch they were perched on, still camouflaged.

“Two east, second house. One overt. Target middle.”

She watched as his chakra network circled to the farther side of the little area. Within seconds, he was inside the home of the one belonging to the bright chakra network. She bit her lip as his figure quickly approached and she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw both of their chakra networks face each other without any sort of skirmish. Now her job was to wait and keep an eye on their surroundings.

Before her eyes, she saw the smaller, brighter chakra network seemingly take off in a run, and she tensed, resisting the temptation to drop down. Instead, she waited, finding Konohamaru’s instantly subdue the boy, and now that bright network was limp in his arms.

“Target secure. Approach with caution.”

She kept an eye on the two as she approached, Konohamaru carrying the boy to the outskirts of the small region. Intentionally, she trailed several meters behind until he came to a definitive stop, which is when she closed the distance. Briefly, she checked the surroundings to ensure they weren’t followed, then deactivated the byakugan. She set her eyes on the pair, the small boy splayed out on the ground of the forest and Konohamaru towering over him with folded arms.

“Alright?” She questioned quietly as she stopped in front of them, observing the boy. The orange hair he had was brighter than she first envisioned, and she wondered if his eyes matched. He looked skinny and meek. How could this child be dangerous?

“You could say that,” he exhaled, sounding out of breath. She tilted her head at him.

“Tried to escape?”

“Not at first.” He ran a hand through his hair before resting it back on his arm. “But then I saw a woman…I think it was his mother.”

“I didn’t see any other chakra networks in there?” Her tone was questioning and when his mask covered face turned to her, she was quieted. Her heart dropped. Reluctantly, she asked, “dead?”

“I don’t think it was on purpose,” his voice dropped to barely a whisper. She couldn’t stop a shiver up her spine. “Probably why we were sent to retrieve him…”

Hanabi flexed her fingers as she stared down at the boy, similar in size to Boruto, and her stomach contorted painfully. How could a boy Boruto’s size…kill his mother? Her thoughts flashed to Hinata, and nausea hit her gut. She wasn’t sure she had ever heard something so…terrible.

“We should get moving,” he drew her from her thoughts as he began carefully pulling up the boys left arm, “we can probably make it in two days if we don’t stop.” With a nod, she moved towards them and assisted him in securing the boy around his back. With gentle movements, she placed her palms over each wrist to lock his chakra, hoping it would be enough. She really didn’t want to use the Gentle Technique on a mere child, murderer or not. She had to remind herself that the details were still slim, and she could have no idea what this boy had been through. Even if it made her stomach turn. He nodded his head to the side and they began their quiet trek to the Rivers.

-

It was nighttime when the boy awoke, but he didn’t let them know it at first. It wasn’t until Hanabi caught his bright orange eyes shimmer under the glow of the moonlight. She inhaled a deep breath as she sped her pace up to get in front of Konohamaru and activated her byakugan. She slid her hands behind her back and made the hand signal for light, waiting for his response. When he signaled the affirmative, she slowed slightly to become side by side with him once more, careful eye on the boy.

His eyes darted around as his cheek pressed against Konohamaru’s back. She was surprised to find he didn’t look frightened, or at least shocked. If anything, he just looked tired. They both seemed to silently agree to let it be until the boy made a move, if he would. For now, they continued their trek.

It was another hour before they would finally hear the boy speak. “I need to pee.”

Konohamaru and Hanabi exchanged a look that they both seemingly understood despite the masks covering their expressions.

“Can you wait three more minutes?” Konohamaru called to the boy behind him, and he simply nodded his cheek against his back.

Hanabi sped up to scout for a fairly dense area of trees. Thankfully, the boy asked before they definitively were out of the Land of Fire and there was still a generous amount of forest ahead of them. When she found a space she deemed suitable, she radioed directions to Konohamaru, and within a minute, he appeared with the boy. Hanabi moved to undo the straps securing the boy, and both of them let out a sigh of frustration when he broke into a run.

“Go that way,” he said, quickly pointing in the direction to her right before taking off in the opposite direction.

Guilt was a difficult feeling, Hanabi knew. But she pushed it down as she activated her byakugan and locked in on the boy, tackling him to the ground in the softest way she could muster. Sparring with her niece and nephew taught her a few tricks to subduing little humans.

“Get off me!” The boy cried and she nearly panicked when his chakra network began flashing blindingly in front of her eyes, causing a burning sensation in her eyes—one she’d never felt before. It was similar to what she saw when Naruto activated his sage mode but so much brighter and fiery. She felt tears well up, forcing her to turn her head to escape its flare. It pushed her to deactivate the byakugan to relieve her eyes as she stumbled away, and she was just glad Konohamaru appeared within moments to help her.

“Damn,” Hanabi breathed, bringing her fists to her eyes to rub the ache in them, only to be reminded she had her Anbu mask on. She blinked them twice, trying to readjust to her normal sight, but found everything fuzzy. She could barely see Konohamaru trying to subdue the boy. She inhaled shuddered breaths, turning around so she could safely pull up her mask to rub her eyes.

Before she could do much else, she heard them struggling behind her. Quickly, she pulled her mask back down as she frantically darted her eyes around, trying to make out the scene playing out before her, only for her vision to betray her. She could vaguely make out Konohamaru attempting to bring the boy down, but something flashed from the boy that forced Konohamaru back. Feeling helpless, she tried to reactivate her byakugan to get a better look, but the boy’s network once again burned at her eyes and forced her to deactivate it.

Frantically, she searched through her tools, trying to figure out something she could do to suppress the boy that didn’t require her eyes. Even though it was the worst time for her to think about it, she was realizing she relied entirely too much on her dōjutsu in combat. And why shouldn’t she, she had always figured. Until now. Now she could not only not rely on her dōjutsu, but not her eyes, either. She cursed herself as she heard a crashing noise, looking up. She watched as Konohamaru was flung several meters away and her stomach dropped.

“No, no—damn!” Hanabi swore, bolting towards Konohamaru instead since she couldn’t even bear to look at the boy.

“Back up,” she heard him cough out as he got back to his feet, “whatever he’s got is more powerful than we can handle right now.” She swallowed at the words, heavy breathing. His hand raised to his mouth as he called out for a summon, and she stumbled backwards when a puff of smoke appeared in front of them. A new voice called out to them.

“Need some help, Sarutobi?” Hanabi squinted, feeling completely bewildered and frustrated by the tiny voice of whom she couldn’t find it belonged to. She saw no one in front of her, but Konohamaru was clearly talking to someone.

“That kid,” she made out Konohamaru’s hand lifting to point, “he’s got senjutsu coursing through him. We need to restrain him.”

“Senjutsu, huh?”

“Who the hell is here?!” she demanded, frustrated.

“Oh look, the Honorable Grandson has a pretty lady with him!” she felt a hard jab to her calf and looked down, finding something…furry below her. An animal. “Don’t worry miss Anbu, I’ll protect you even if my boy can’t.”

“Just go!” Konohamaru demanded and Hanabi flinched as the little animal bolted passed her.

“What the hell is going on?!” Hanabi seethed, looking up at Konohamaru, who looked nothing like Konohamaru, but a blurry masked figured, “who is that?!”

“Enra,” he pushed passed her to start leaping towards where the boy had gone off to, the little creature on his tail, “come on.”

“O-okay,” she huffed shakily, still confused, still frustrated, but trying not to let it bog her down, despite the panic slowly seeping through her at her continuously blurry vision. She had to keep going, even if her eyesight was compromised. If Konohamaru’s authoritative voice was anything to go by.

She carefully followed after him and promptly swore, loudly, when she tripped. He skidded next to her, “are you okay?!”

“Yes—fine, keep going—”

“You tripped. You don’t just trip—”

“Kono—” she cursed inwardly, huffy in her correction, “Hawthorne, focus. We have to catch him.”

“Fine,” he growled to her relief, and she continued following after him until they were met with what looked like a large plume of vapor.

“Got ‘em.”

“Good,” Konohamaru inhaled as he approached. Hanabi gasped when she felt little paws crawl up her side, frantically waving her arms in an attempt to shake it off.

“And who might you be?!”

“Enra!” Konohamaru tried to call him back.

“What the—” Hanabi shivered at the voice in her ear, then the furry face was right in front of hers, clawing at her Anbu mask, “g—get off!”

She saw Konohamaru’s hand wrap around the little animal’s body and pull it off.

“What is that?!”

“Can’t you tell?” the sarcastic voice called out to her, “Enra, this dumbasses summon. Grandson of King Enma!”

Hanabi blinked, sucking in a shaky breath, trying to process all that was happening around her. Enma, Enma, Enma, she knew the name. King. Then her heart jumped—the Monkey King?

“Is he passed out?” Konohamaru questioned as he approached the boy, wrapped in what looked like a giant, translucent hand. Hanabi pulled her hand to her chest, willing her heart to slow.

“Yep, he’ll be sleepy for the next few hours,” the little monkey responded, crawling over his shoulder. “Spry little guy, but not faster than me. You’re welcome.”

“Thank you,” Konohamaru retorted and Hanabi really, really wished her vision wasn’t compromised right now. Konohamaru had a summon? “I might have to call you again, Enra, so be on alert.”

“I always am.” Hanabi glanced towards the furball, who seemed entirely too comfortable crawling over Konohamaru’s head, “still waiting on you to come back to the jungle to finish mastering your own sage mode, Sarutobi. Maybe if you had, you wouldn’t have needed me.”

“Enra….” Konohamaru grumbled, irritably.

“And maybe I’ll get a proper introduction next time, right, Hyūga?”

“Wha—” Hanabi gasped—how could he tell?

“See you soon!”

With that, the little monkey vanished into smoke, and the giant hand wrapped around the boys body disintegrated, leaving his unconscious form. She let out a shaky sigh, walking towards him and the boy.

“Tell me what happened,” he demanded, beckoning her towards him as he kneeled over the boy’s body. “What did he do to you?”

“Check on him, first,” she breathed, kneeling next to him. His commanding voice would always catch her off guard, no matter how many missions they went on together. One thing at a time. She sighed as she felt his eyes on hers “I…I can’t really see…”

“What?!” she recoiled at the panic in his voice as he turned to her, reaching for her mask. She shoved his hand away.

“Check on him first! Make sure he’s okay!”

“Gah—” his frustration was palpable as he relented, turning back to the boy. She waited, reaching her fingertips behind her mask to rub at her eyes. She held back a sigh of frustration when it didn’t change anything. “He’s breathing. Enra wouldn’t hurt him, he’ll be alright.” She nodded, swallowing thickly as she knew what had to come next. “What happened to your eyes?”

“You have a summon?”

“Focus, Hanabi,” she leaned away from him as he reached out to tug at her mask. Reluctantly, she let him pull it off and examine her eyes, “they look normal.”

Hanabi gulped as she activated the byakugan and found it to be equally fuzzy. She relaxed it and shook her head.

“Was it his chakra network?” he asked as she felt his fingertips rest against either side of her head, beginning to rub little circles.

“Yes,” she breathed, “his chakra network is brighter than anything I’ve ever seen. It was blinding. It felt like I was staring at the sun, if it was barreling towards me.”

“Are…are you completely…”

“No,” she shook her head as his hands left her temples, “it’s blurry, but I’m not blind.”

“Hand signals?” She glanced down as he made some sort of hand sign, and frowned because she couldn’t make it out. She shook her head and his hand dropped. “Damn…”

She hated to admit it, but this was no time to compromise the mission with a lie. “I—I’m kind of scared.”

He immediately wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her head into his chest. It was quick but gentle, and she allowed herself to relax in his embrace. “Leave the rest to me. Just focus on recovering.”

“I’m not letting you go without me…” she whispered against his chest, biting her lips together. “My byakugan still works alright. We’ll finish this mission and then I’ll get care at home.”

He remained silent at her declaration, and she knew that he knew he couldn’t argue. As Anbu, they couldn’t just make the decision to ditch a mission because they were hurt to some degree. One must be on the verge of death to do such a thing, and that, she was not. So he simply nodded against her head, choosing to hold her against him for a bit longer, and she let him.

“Why didn’t you tell me you had a summon?”

“Huh?” he asked above her, having been mindlessly stroking her hair, “oh, I dunno. I’ve been able to summon toads for a while. Made a contract with Enra last year, figured it was time.”

“He’s the grandson of your grandfather’s summon, right?”

“Mhm.”

“That’s…pretty cool,” she giggled softly, trying to lighten the mood despite how unequivocally terrified she felt at the fact her eyesight might be damaged. She felt his chest shake slightly.

“Y’think? He’s pretty annoying.”

“I could see that,” she nodded, then frowned, “or I guess…I could hear that. But he caught the boy really quickly.”

“True. Pesky but powerful.”

“What was that about sage mode?”

He was quiet for a moment, and she wondered why. He cleared his throat, “yeah, I took a few months off to train with Enma, but Kakashi called me back for this mission. After this, I’m supposed to be back at it.”

“Really?” she questioned softly, trying not to let disappointment betray her voice, “and you’ll become what…a monkey sage?”

He chuckled quietly, “with any luck, yeah.”

“Like Naruto’s toad sage mode?”

“Yeah, kinda. They’re all a little different.”

“Wow,” she breathed, leaning her head against his chest, “well, I can’t wait to see it.”

“No pressure or anything, right?” he heard the playfulness behind his tone. With a deep sigh that she could feel against her cheek as his chest inflated and deflated, he continued, “none of that matters right now. I’m more concerned about your eyes.”

“You’re Anbu,” she huffed, “focus on the mission, Sarutobi.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he chuckled and she pulled herself away, “you think you’ll be good to go?”

“I have to,” she nodded, climbing to her feet. “Worry about the kid for now.”

“Alright.”

Hanabi rotated between her blurred vision and the byakugan for the next stretch of travel. While she could see enough with the byakugan, it still exhausted her eyes, and it was exhausting her faster than normal, so she had to suffer through blurry vision for much of their travel. Still, she had to use the byakugan either way to scan for threats. When she felt the need to rest her eyes, she simply sped up to Konohamaru’s position, and he had picked up that she was doing it when she needed a break from the byakugan and kept an eye on her position.

Once they were close to the border of the Rivers, he stopped and she joined him, the boy still passed out on his back.

“I can carry him for the rest of our travel,” she offered, and recognized him shaking his head.

“There won’t be any more reliable tree cover past here. From here, I’ll lead us through a valley that will provide us with decent coverage until we reach the coordinates,” she watched as he lifted his arm to point, activating her byakugan to ensure she was making out his directions clearly. “You’ll be alright with obstacles down there without normal vision?”

“I can trace your movements,” she responded, looking up at his masked face, “and mimic them so I don’t run into anything.”

“I’ll try to be predictable.” There was no hint of humor in his voice and she nodded. “It should only take us a few hours to get there. Ready?”

“Yep,” she breathed, trying to fake confidence as she nodded. She recognized his return nod and they took off.

Nearly an hour later, the boy awoke again. She didn’t realize it until he started screeching.

“HELP!!! HELP ME!!!”

“Shit!” Konohamaru swore, skidding to a halt with Hanabi right behind. She tried to cover his mouth with her hand, only to curse loudly when he bit her palm.

“Damn kid!” she seethed, rubbing her palm as he struggled violently against Konohamaru’s back.

“Put me down!” he barked, twisting. “Put me down or you’re gonna regret it!”

“Take it easy, buddy,” Konohamaru’s soothing voice tried to placate the boy and she could hear him struggling.

“Put me down now or else! Or else I’ll—”

“Kill him?” Hanabi questioned instinctively, feeling frustrated. She felt Konohamaru’s eyes on her, and she stepped back. The boy was silent at her questioning.

Konohamaru spoke again, “we’ll be there soon. Just try to calm down.”

“Just let me go,” the boy pleaded quietly now, “I’ll go hide in some hole. Just don’t take me to some lab, please—”

“Lab?” Konohamaru doubted and Hanabi found it unsettling having to rely on her sense of hearing to know exactly what was going on.

“Don’t act like you’re not going to,” the boy seethed, sounding angry again, “you’re going to experiment on me. My mom told me what you people do.”

“What? No—” Konohamaru sighed, “we’re taking you to someone like you. Who can help you.”

She hadn’t heard this bit of information yet. She had to question how he knew? Was he lying to pacify the boy?

“She said you’d say that, too,” he snapped, “to get me to come without a fight.”

“Believe what you want.” Hanabi joined the interaction, albeit reluctantly. “But we can’t let you go.”

“You’re scum.”

Hanabi crossed her arms, unimpressed with the insult, but kept her mouth shut.

“And I’d rather you kill me then go with you.”

The heated words blew Hanabi away. How could a child say such a thing?

“Is that what happened?” Konohamaru asked, softly, “did someone attack you and your mother?”

They both waited as the boy went silent. A few moments passed before it was made clear the boy would be speaking no further on the matter.

“Listen, kid, we’re almost there. When we get there, there’s a guy there that can help you control…whatever’s going on with you,” Konohamaru tried to explain as he returned to leaping, Hanabi following.

“Shinobi sure are great liars,” the boy responded with a mocking tone and Hanabi frowned.

“It’s not a lie, but if that’s what you want to think, I can’t stop you,” he responded, “you’ll see when we get there.”

“So you’re really trying to tell me you’re not going to lock away a person who killed his mother?”

Hanabi nearly tripped at the words, but managed to catch herself. She had to admire Konohamaru’s ability to remain outwardly unaffected by the declaration, as awful as it was.

“Whatever happened, I’m sure there was a reason,” Konohamaru said, quietly, to which the boy returned with a mocking laugh.

“Well, you’re wrong! I just got angry and killed her, so how about that?” The boy was really pushing it. “She said something I didn’t like and then boom—dead—”

“Enough!” Konohamaru bellowed as he skidded to a stop, Hanabi meeting his stance.

“Shouldn’t I die?” the boy questioned, and Hanabi couldn’t tell what expression he was making. “People who kill their mothers don’t deserve to live.”

“People who kill don’t willingly put themselves up for punishment!” Konohamaru returned, dropping the child to the ground to stand over him. “I know you didn’t do it on purpose.”

“How would you know?” he spat. “You don’t know anything about me, or my family.”

“I know you have some incredible underlying power,” Hanabi stepped next to Konohamaru, looking down at the boy. “Your chakra network is unlike anything I’ve ever seen.”

“Chakra network?” the boy questioned, seemingly simmering down at her joining the conversation. “You can see my chakra network?”

“Something like that,” she breathed, willing herself to show confidence. “Do you have something you can’t control inside of you?”

The boy went silent at the question, and Hanabi huffed a sigh, turning from him. Konohamaru stepped towards the boy. “You do, don’t you?”

“You guys would love to get that out of me,” the boy mumbled.

“Don’t you at least want to see if there’s someone out there that can help you?” Konohamaru questioned gently. “Someone who knows what you’re going through? Who’s figured out how to control it?”

“What do you know about me?” the boy asked, and Hanabi stepped away, recognizing this as Konohamaru’s forte.

“You’re scared,” he began, “and sad. You’re a kid. Nothing you tell me will convince me you’re some sort of monster.” Hanabi’s guts quivered uncomfortably. Monster.

“Shut up,” the boy grumbled, turning away. Hanabi nervously fiddled with her hip pouch.

“And you’re not as unique as you’d like to think.” She raised her eyebrows at that blunt declaration. “There are people out there like you. And they’re doing good work.”

“Oh yeah?” The boy questioned sarcastically. “And why am I out there all alone with just my mom? Why haven’t all of these amazing people come to find us? My people?”

“That, I’m not sure of, but I can hazard a guess,” Konohamaru offered, “your mom was probably afraid of the exact things you’ve been yelling about. Afraid they’d take her child and do something cruel to him. So she kept you concealed in an undiscovered area, hoping you two would be able to live out your lives there. The people who are like you probably had no idea you even existed.”

The boy remained silent, so he proceeded. “Let me take another guess. Your mom isn’t like you, and you’ve never known your father.”

“K…” Hanabi stopped herself.

“Your mom just wanted you to live a relatively normal life. No one can blame her for that.”

“I never said I blamed her.”

“I know,” Konohamaru responded softly, “but now she can’t protect you. We’re trying to do what she would have wanted.”

“Shinobi…” the boy scoffed and Hanabi wished she could see his expression. His tone had softened considerably. “Shinobi can’t be trusted.”

“Then don’t think of us as shinobi,” he pressed, “think of us as regular people who want to help a kid who’s hurting. No child should have to go through what you’ve gone through.”

“I’m not a child,” the boy finally offered a new bit of information. “I may look like one, but I’m not.”

“Then how old are you?” Hanabi questioned, tilting her head.

“17.”

All went quiet. As she noted earlier, the boy looked Boruto’s age. How could a 17-year-old look like an 8-year-old?

“You’re still just a kid…” Konohamaru whispered as he kneeled in front of the boy.

“Why do you care?” He asked, and she could make out him meeting eyes with Konohamaru. “You could just say I attacked and dispose of me, be done with it, go home to whatever great nation you’re from and forget about this.”

“Why would we do that?” Hanabi questioned honestly.

“Don’t act like it isn’t an appealing thought,” he retorted, now looking at her, “my mom always said I was a brat. Why deal with a brat when you don’t have to?”

“Is that what you think we do?” Konohamaru drew him back, “just kill kids? Sorry buddy, but you’re wrong. Yeah, we’re on a mission, and yeah, maybe what you say could be true. But that’s just not how we—” he gestured towards Hanabi, “—operate. Every life is worth saving.”

“Let me guess,” the boy sighed tiredly, “you get that kind of talk from that great hero of war? That idiotic blond kid who’s always going on about the sanctity of life?”

“No,” Konohamaru finally gave a chuckle, and Hanabi had to wonder how far and wide the story of the Fourth War had spread if a kid from a tiny, off-the-radar village knew enough about it to be referring to Naruto. He continued, “just what we believe.”

“Sure it is,” the boy’s voice lightened a bit. “Fine. I’ll go with you, but I’m not being strapped to your back anymore.”

Hanabi scoffed. “Oh, I don’t think—”

Konohamaru interrupted her, “fair. Gotta promise me you won’t run.”

“I’ll promise I won’t run,” he began, “but I can’t promise I won’t kill anyone who tries to experiment on me.”

“Great!” Konohamaru stood up, hands on his hips. “Since that’s not going to happen, we have nothing to worry about. Hungry?”

Hanabi blinked her eyes a few times, wishing her vision would return to normal. She watched as she could make out Konohamaru offering some of their rations to the boy, who seemed to reluctantly take it.

“We’ll eat and walk, right Pagoda?”

“Uh, right.” Hanabi sucked in her teeth as she held out a hand for the boy. He didn’t take it as he stood up. “You got a name, kid?”

“Not for you,” the boy snapped, and she poked her tongue against the inside of her cheek with annoyance.

Silently, the three resumed their trek at a much slower pace.

As time drawled on, Konohamaru tried to keep the mood light by commenting on the foliage, pointing out fauna as they marched through. While the boy tried to look uninterested, his eyes followed where he pointed. Her bad vision felt like a cruel joke at this point.

-

“Should be somewhere around here,” Konohamaru glanced around before turning to Hanabi. “You remember the coordinates?”

“I do,” Hanabi nodded, leading them towards a mountain side with a little river running alongside it. She activated her byakugan and pursed her lips at the blurry recognition of a bright chakra network. One similarly bright to the boys. “Someone’s there. The man named Jugo?”

“Look anything like this kids?” He questioned, and she nodded. “Perfect.”

Within moments, a slab of rock from the mountain side began rumbling as if being pushed forward. Soon, a tall figure emerged with the same wildly bright orange hair as the boy.

“Hey, big guy,” Konohamaru waved enthusiastically while Hanabi stood still next to the boy. She looked down and wished she could make out his expression. Was he shocked? Indifferent? Angry?

“You…” the boy muttered, taking a step back, “you are not real.”

“I’m not?” The older man, evidently Jugo, questioned as he approached.

“You can’t be,” the boy seethed, fists visibly clenching, “our clan went extinct years ago.”

“I thought that, too,” Jugo’s voice was light, as if amused. “Funny how things end up, isn’t it?”

“You think this is funny?”

Hanabi gasped as she watched one of his arms grow to an absurd size, turning some sickly grey color. It looked like it was turning into a claw.

“Hey, no need for that.” Jugo stepped forward and Hanabi, reluctantly, activated the byakugan to watch a bright pulse of chakra flash over the arm from Jugo, forcing it to recede to normal size. It pressed her to deactivate it and look away, breath catching in her chest. “She okay?”

“She’s alright…just focus on him for now.”

“How the hell did you do that?”

“Hey.” He had come up behind her and leaned towards her ear. “Let me take you inside and you can rest, okay?”

Hesitantly, she looked up at him. “What about the boy?”

“I’ll handle him,” Jugo called, nodding towards the entrance of the mountainside. “Make two lefts and the first door on the right has a bed. We’ll be inside soon.”

With a sigh, she nodded and allowed Konohamaru to guide her into the hideout. It was a dimly lit area, and she had trouble making much out. She cursed when she bumped into the corner of something like a table.

“Ouch! Sorry,” he apologized, grabbing her by the waist to pull in front of him. She suppressed the urge to shudder, stomach tightening as his warm hands enveloped her. She continued to let him guide her until he pulled her to face him, gently sitting her down on what seemed like a bed. “I’ll get the lights.”

“I won’t be able to see anything,” she protested as the room went dark.

“You can’t already,” he responded, and she felt him sit next to her. Again, he reached to pull her mask off, resisting her hands as they reached up to grab it back, “they won’t come in here, don’t worry. Just get comfortable.”

“Are you sure?” she whispered, releasing her grip on the mask. She tried to squint to see him “if you’re nodding, I can’t see it.”

“Oh—yeah, I’m sure,” he forced a chuckle. He gently pulled the mask away from her face and she really wished she could see him now. He spoke, echoing her words from just two years ago, “there you are.” The softness of his tone made her heart quiver just so, and she knew her expression was probably a dead giveaway for what those words did to her. She could feel him get off the bed, the light clinking of her porcelain mask being deposited on a table. She found it incredibly disorienting to be essentially blind, him moving her wherever he pleased. She felt her shoulders being gently pushed down against the plush of the bed, and she groaned in frustration when he tried to pull her legs up, too.

“My eyesight isn’t the best, but I’m not crippled!” She snapped, yanking her legs out of his grasp. She found herself being thankful for the dark when she recognized the heat in her face as he laughed.

“Sometimes it’s just nice to be taken care of,” he offered. His words made her heart skip, “I like taking care of you.”

“Quit that,” she whispered, bringing her hands to her face to shield it. Despite it being dark, she knew it wasn’t pitch dark and he could probably still see her to some extent.

“Maybe rest will help restore it?” He offered hopefully as he sat back down on the bed next to her. Her breath hitched when his fingertips brushed away the hair on her face. “If not, I can carry you home.”

“That would be humiliating,” she grumbled, turning her head opposite the side he was on.

“I have to admit,” he began, scooting backwards so his body was touching hers, “it would fulfill a fantasy of mine.”

“Fantasy?” she questioned with an unwelcome tremble in her voice, so she quickly rectified it with an insult, “pervert.”

“Is it perverted to want to save a princess?” he asked coyly, and she gritted her teeth. “Be a hero and carry her back to her castle, safe and sound?”

She took a long breath before responding, “you’ve got to be the corniest person I know.”

“You honor me,” he teased softly, and she could feel his body leaning against hers. “Regardless, I’m serious. If you haven’t gotten better, I will carry you.”

“No.”

“Think I can’t?”

“I know you can,” she breathed, turning on her side so her back would face him, “but I’m not weak. I can make it home. I am Anbu, after all.”

“Yes…” he whispered and she bit her lips together at the feel of his hands pulling her hair from her neck, then the feel of his chest against her shoulders, lips close to her ear, “yes you are.”

She balled her fists into her chest, unable to respond.

“Get some rest, Hanabi.” She felt a draft of cold air wash over her body as his body heat left hers and she had the most irritating urge to reach around and pull him back.

With a quiet click, the door to the room she was in shut, and she was alone.

-

“All good?” Konohamaru questioned as he entered the room the boy was being kept in.

Jugo turned to him with a head tilt, “he’ll be alright. You two okay?”

“Yep,” Konohamaru responded, unconvincingly. Jugo lowered his eyes, “well…I can’t really say.”

“You have a Hyūga with you,” Jugo pointed out and Konohamaru frowned. Sometimes it was hard to keep these things under wraps. “Seems her eyesight was affected.”

“Well, if you already know…” Konohamaru sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m not sure what happened, but it seemed like his chakra might have…burned? Her eyes?”

“Hmm,” Jugo hummed, crossing his arms behind his back. “I’ll have a look at her when she’s up.”

“Think you’ll be able to do anything?”

“Until I examine her, I’m not sure. But I doubt it’s anything permanent,” he offered with a shrug, stepping near the boy. “Thanks for retrieving him.”

“Yeah, of course…” He scratched underneath his chin, turning his attention to the unconscious boy. “I take it you had to subdue him?”

“Yep,” he responded with a sigh, “but I’m sure I’ll get him to come around. Once he realizes he’s safe.”

“You’ll be able to make him believe that? He was pretty wily with me.”

“Shinobi…” The two ceased their conversation at the haggard voice of the boy calling him. Konohamaru tilted his head towards him, waiting for what he might say. “My mom…” With a tightness in his chest, he stepped towards the boy and knelt down next to him to hear him better. He repeated, “my mom…”

“I’ll go back and put her to rest,” Konohamaru whispered, heart feeling heavy with the idea of returning to that home. That home that would probably be burned into his mind for the rest of his life. The smell, the blood.

“No,” the boy responded shortly, and Konohamaru’s eye twitched at his next words, “burn her.”

“Why?” he questioned, voice breaking a tad. The boy turned to him with a dark expression, lips pulled into a taut frown.

“Just do it.” Konohamaru began shaking his head. “After all this, you can’t do one simple request. Some shinobi you are…”

“She deserves to be laid to rest,” he tried to argue, “with a marked headstone. It’s the least she’d deserve.”

“You don’t know anything,” the boy sighed, turning in his bed to face his back to him, “you shinobi think you know everything, but really, you know nothing.”

Konohamaru sat, kneeled next to the bed for a few more moments, studying the boy until it was evident the conversation would go no further. He looked over his shoulder at Jugo, who had been dutifully standing aside with his arms folded, watching.

The boy wanted his mother cremated. So perhaps he should just honor those wishes.

With a sigh, Konohamaru got up and rejoined Jugo, who laid a heavy hand on his shoulder, “you should rest up, too, before you head back out. We have another room down here.”

“Ah, no, thank you.” He held up a hand, glancing towards the hallway where the room Hanabi was staying in. “I’d rather stay in the room my teammates in. Make sure she’s…alright.”

Jugo gave a small shrug, “if you insist, I can grab you a cot.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Konohamaru nodded, eyes following the older man as he disappeared into the hallway. He turned back to the boy once he was out of a sight and let out a breath, “I’ll honor your request…I just have one thing I need to ask.”

“Of course you do…” the boy grumbled without turning.

“What was her name?”

Silence passed over them, so Konohamaru took a step forward.

“You can’t ask me to burn a woman’s body and not even know her name.”

Jugo had returned with a folded cot in hand before the boy responded, finding the tension in the room thick. Finally, the boy answered, “Yalina…was her name.”

“Alright.”

With that, Konohamaru gave Jugo a swift nod as he collected the cot and made for the room Hanabi was in. As quietly as he could muster, he broke the chakra seal on the knob and slowly twisted it, slipping inside as quickly as possible. He breathed a tiny sigh of relief to find her on her side, facing him, sprawled out and looking dead asleep. Gently, he shut the door behind him, resealing it with a faint pulse of chakra, and silently unfolded the cot onto the ground.

He peeled off his mask and set it next to hers on the table before kneeling next to the bed she laid on and observed her. Despite how ridiculous she looked when she slept, jaw slack and limbs spread far and wide, she still looked peaceful, no hint of anything being wrong in that moment. But her eyes were damaged, and the thought made his stomach turn.

If there was one thing about the Hyūga he knew, it was how much importance they placed on their eyes. He dreaded to find out how her father might react if her eyes hadn’t recovered by the time they returned home. 13 years later and the clan leader still could force a shiver up his spine. All he could do was hope that the years and grandchildren had softened the cold, old man and their medics would know what to do. Or even better, Jugo would be able to remedy her before they even left. That would be ideal.

Try as he might to avoid her, to put distance between them, he was always taken back in. And right now, he couldn’t even try to pretend he didn’t like it. As much as he wanted to avoid the pain of not having what he wanted from her, he wanted just as much to risk it all and be with her as close as he could. Her being injured stirred an instinctive reaction from him, one that demanded he protect her and keep her out of harm’s way. One that nearly forced him to strike a mere child. One that could quite possibly spiral out of control if anything worse happened.

He wondered if she even had any idea he’d been picking up mission after mission just to avoid running into her.

She always drew him back in. He couldn’t deny the ache in his heart.

He let out a longing sigh as he rose to his full height and gripped the thin sheet at the end of the bed, pulling it delicately over her resting form and tucking it under her elbows before retracting.

He cursed himself when he heard her move in the bed just as he settled on top of the cot. The cot squeaked noisily under him and he feared it would rouse her.

“Kono…?” His heart fluttered at her sleepy whisper of his nickname, and he debated with himself quickly on whether he should respond or pretend to be asleep. She continued, “are you on the floor?”

He swallowed accumulated saliva as he heard the pads of her feet make contact with the tile beneath them, and he finally turned his body around to find her standing over him, though her eyes were closed.

“Don’t they have any other beds for you?”

He tried to deflect. “I’m alright down here.”

“You should sleep in a bed, too…”

He could only be honest, “I didn’t want to leave you alone…in case your eyes got worse.”

Silence wasn’t something Konohamaru was very fond of outside of times that called for it, like sleeping. If Hiashi was anything to go by, Hanabi had probably picked up his knack for being comfortable with what should be uneasy stillness.

“Well, since you’re here, can you lead me to the bathroom?”

The unexpected request drew a surprised laugh from him and her groan of annoyance only made it more difficult to keep in. Quickly, he got to his feet and circled behind her, resting his hands on her hips as he did earlier. He noticed the way it made her shudder, but didn’t point it out, instead simply guiding her out into the hallway. As he led her to where he knew there was a bathroom, he felt her right fingertips brush against his right hand on her hip and he almost thought it was a flirtatious move but was quickly proven wrong when she tugged his hand away.

“Thanks, but I got it from here,” her tone was playful despite it, and he gave an awkward nod as she shut the door behind her. Unsure of himself, he took several steps away from the door but still kept it in sight as he waited. He felt a minor sense of worry for her, though he understood he shouldn’t. Her eyes might be her most powerful tool, but she was good with her other senses, too, he knew. Shortly after, she reemerged, and he had to take in the cute way her face scrunched up as she turned her head back and forth in search of him.

Quietly, he snuck behind her and leaned in. “Boo.”

He knew he’d regret it, so he couldn’t blame her when he received a sharp elbow to the rib. “Oh! Shit!”

“Good to know you still have your wits about you,” he chuckled painfully, one hand rubbing the sure to bruise area and the other wrapping back around her hip.

“Konohamaru…” she grumbled irritably as she folded her arms. Even annoyed, his name sounded sweet from her. 

Once they were securely back in the room and he sealed the door, he guided her back to the bed. Unsurely, he asked, “think they’re any better?”

She paused, blinking her eyes open slightly to look up at him and he couldn’t keep back a smile at the way her eyes shimmered under the faintest glow of light. The smile dropped when her eyebrows cinched together in frustration. He questioned, “want me to turn on the light?”

“No…no,” she sighed, pulling her full body back onto the bed. “Let’s just get some sleep and reassess tomorrow.”

“Sounds like a plan,” he agreed readily, leaving her to take his place back on the cot, only to have his hand caught by hers. The action stopped him immediately, and he turned his head down to face her, “need anything else?”

“Yes,” she breathed, tugging his hand towards her chest, and the act made his whole body go rigid. “Lay with me.”

Don’t.

“I…I’m fine with the cot…” he struggled to get the words out, because his body was pushing his feet closer to the bed until his knees touched the edge of it. Her hand squeezed his and he sighed, “it’s a tiny bed…I’d take up the whole thing.”

“Better than that damn thing,” she muttered, her other hand now reaching for his opposite elbow to lure him in, and he couldn’t find it in himself to stop her. “Better than being alone, again.” He was finding it harder and harder to breathe as she sucked him in, now seated on the edge of the bed. “Get in bed with me, Konohamaru.”

Did she know what she was doing to him? She had to. Hanabi was not a naïve girl, that he knew. If he could get a handle on his own thoughts, he’d tell her to stop playing games with him. But any rational brain activity was quickly whisked away as her arms looped around his waist and definitively pulled him down next to her. He was chest-to-chest with her, arms tangled around each other’s bodies.

“Didn’t think it’d be this hard to get a boy in my bed…” she mumbled as she fiddled with fastens on his back holding up his chest plate. He couldn’t help but chuckle, watching her forehead scrunch up as her eyes closed tightly. After a few moments, his chest plate began slipping off and she was tugging it away, haphazardly letting it drop to the floor next to them. She huffed in annoyance as she moved his arm that wasn’t trapped under her neck to her back.

Gingerly, he looped one of the fastens around his finger before quietly asking, “can I?”

“Don’t be dumb,” she whispered, turning her face so her nose would bury into the pillow, and he let out a puff of amusement. Quickly, he had the fastens undone and let her pull the plate away to join his on the floor, and now they were right up against each other, simple cotton fabric separating them. He curled his arm unsurely around her neck to draw her cheek into his chest and he repressed a shudder as he felt the warmth of her breath against his collarbone.

“Goodnight, Hanabi,” he whispered against the top of her head and swallowed the lump in his throat as she nuzzled her nose against his sternum. He inadvertently tightened his right arm around her waist, trying his best to keep his thoughts on track when a tiny, muffled sound came from her.

“Night, Kono.”

-

Hanabi was awoken at an hour she did not know, to the hard chest of Konohamaru against her back, and she nearly panicked at her lack of vision before remembering all that had transpired. She briefly wondered why she had woken up, not recalling any sort of dream or nightmare, but came to the swift realization when she felt something hot and wet against the crook of her neck, making her shiver uncontrollably.

She gasped when she felt his heavy arm draw away from her, a large hand resting on the dip of her waist. She ventured to turn her head to peer behind her, finding nothing but darkness, but felt Konohamaru’s lips leaving sloppy kisses along the curve of her neck. Heat rapidly began pooling in her stomach, the feeling close to what she might describe as sinful.

Finally, she dared to whisper, “Kono…?”

A little gasp left her when his lips worked their way up to her ear and he mumbled against the shell, “tell me to stop.”

“Wh…” she breathed, balling her fists with the material of the sheets underneath her in them.

Stop?

The hand not trapped under her rubbed circles against the side of her stomach and everything inside of her told her to not to stop him. “Why?”

“Please,” he grumbled in a husky tone, one that made her skin tingle almost painfully, “please, Hanabi…tell me to stop.”

“But…” her voice hitched as her right hand slid over the one caressing her waist, lacing her fingers with them, “but I don’t want to tell you to stop…”

The way he groaned in frustration against her neck caused her to shiver against him inadvertently, and that had some effect on him apparently, as his grip tightened around her waist, pulling her closer.

“It’s not right,” his actions opposed his words as his lips moved downwards from her ear, leaving a burning trail as they travelled to her shoulder, “like this…”

She felt her breathing pick up close to the point of hyperventilating as the hand on her waist slid over the flat of her stomach, pulling her entire back flush against his front. Finally, she dared to ask, “is it ever really right?”

“Hanabi,” he groaned, hand on her stomach clutching into a fist with the material of her shirt in it, “we’re on a mission…” She felt his lips pull from her shoulder and his forehead rest against the bare skin there. “You’re injured…I’d be taking advantage of you.”

“Who’s to say I’m not taking advantage of you?” she asked, and despite the question seemingly like an innocent tease, she was all too serious. She felt him taking deep, controlled breaths behind her and something in her told him not to let him calm down. Something dark inside of her told her to rile him back up, wind him tight. Until he snapped.

“Hanabi…” he repeated, her name barely a rumble from his chest. In a bold move, she wound her right leg around his, effectively tangling herself against him with her lower half pressed firmly against his. The action made him bury his fingers into the flesh of her stomach, and she felt the effect it had on him.

This was entirely new territory for Hanabi, but she had, admittedly, read enough about it to have some confidence in herself.

The hand encasing his began unravelling it from the cloth of her shirt and she pushed his fingertips just under the hem of it, waiting to see if he’d continue himself. She could feel the pounding of his heart against her shoulder blade as he inched upwards, fingering the bandages at the edge of her breast. It was an entirely new sensation to her, the light touch of calloused fingers over the bare flesh covering her ribcage. His pace as he slid his fingers underneath the material was agonizing, but she didn’t want to seem too eager for his touch.

Instead, she pulled her hand from his and reached behind her, gently pulling her fingers through the hair on the nape of his neck, letting them become tangled in it. She bit her lip as she felt him lean into the touch. His head turned until his lips were against the palm of her hand and he began leaving fluttering kisses there, brushing his lips from her fingertips to her forearm. The tender act gave her goosebumps and now she felt herself wanting those lips on hers.

She slid the hand back into his hair, turning her head until she could feel her nose brush against his, then leaned in to take his lips with hers. The way he returned her felt ravenous, like he’d been craving this for far longer than she could imagine. She found herself being manhandled to lie flat on her back as he crawled over her, arms wrapping around her waist, one traveling up her spine to cup the back of her head. She rushed to meet him, letting one of his knees drop between her legs and winding her arms around his neck, inviting him deeper.

The hand that had been fiddling with the bandages around her chest worked their way up the back of her shirt, tugging at the material until it started to loosen. She felt her breathing pick up once more as she realized she was going to be exposed to him soon, but she tried to shove her nervous energy down. If there was one thing she was sure of at that moment, it was that she wanted this. In a random hideout in the Rivers, her eyesight compromised, on a tiny, squeaky, shabby bed. All of it be damned, she wanted this.

She pressed her chest upwards to encourage him all the while digging her fingernails into the back of his skull, desperately moving her lips in whatever way his guided hers. So many things at once, she felt like her head was spinning. His hand was pulling the bandages down around her stomach, unveiling her breasts though they were still covered by a shirt. All the while, his tongue was gently coaxing her mouth open and she gave herself no choice but to oblige, lips parting. Just as his tongue grazed against hers, she felt the rough pad of his thumb swipe over her nipple and it sent through her what she could only describe as electricity.

“Kono—!” she gasped, fingertips digging into his skull. Despite the urgent tension, his movements were gentle against her. The thumb on the point of her nipple caressed in circles, the other hand tangling in her hair. Something about her blurred vision made everything so much more sensitive, and she found her hips rolling upwards without realizing. His groan against her mouth felt lascivious, and he returned that friction with his own hips. She felt the thigh of the leg in between hers press upward against her core and she couldn’t control an involuntary tremble under his grip.

The hand cupping her breast proceeded at an agonizingly slow pace, but she found it hard to find anything wrong with that. His gentle touches begged for permission to become rougher, she could feel it in the way he moved. But she held back that permission, deviously curious of how far she could take him. Something in her wanted him to break. Something in her pushed her to push him.

In a quick decision, she tore her mouth from his and began a trail from the corner of his mouth to his jawline. How she had envisioned how it would feel beneath her lips. It made her brain feel foggy that she was finally able to trace the defined structure of it. His shuddered breath against her ear made everything inside her feel tight, desperate for release, but she couldn’t find a reason to release it. She covered his jaw with her lips until they found the smooth skin of his neck, and brazenly, she wrapped her lips around a space of skin and sucked in.

His little gasp was unexpected but entirely welcome. His hips and hands responded in unison. His index finger joined his thumb over her nipple and squeezed, the gentleness of it all feeling so very forced. Then another foreign sensation, something hard against her right thigh that was unmistakable. Feeling him against her excited her beyond her wildest dreams. If one were to ask if she had any fantasies, she would vehemently deny it. But right now, she was living one she had replayed in her mind so many times, feeling him against her, desperate with need. She found it hard not to return it.

Slowly, she trailed the hand tangled in his hair down his neck, letting her nails scrape against his skin as it descended. Eventually, she found the hem of his shirt and slid her fingers underneath, finally touching the muscular abdomen she had only seen on far too few occasions. She gingerly traced the defining lines before pressing her palm against a particularly hard muscle. She had to wonder if he was flexing voluntarily or involuntarily under her touch, but either way, it was exactly as she imagined it. Warm, solid, defined, begging for her nails to dig in.

When his hips rolled into hers once more, she took that as a sign to sink her fingertips in. All the while she continued trailing kisses wherever his skin would meet her lips. His neck, his collarbone, his Adam’s apple—oh how she had dreamed of running her tongue over that bulge in his throat. She shamelessly gave in to that desire, dragging the flat of her tongue against it and taking in every taste it offered. Metallic, salty, slightly bitter but delightful none the less. The guttural sound that left him was wrong in all the right ways. The entire time, he had been playing with the peak of her nipple, and now, in response to her ministrations, he seemed to break.

She let out a little whine when he pulled back, unable to see exactly what he was doing, but could feel him all the same. He lifted and the hand feeling his abdomen felt his shirt being pulled off, and just as suddenly, his hands were greedily yanking her shirt off as well. She immediately obliged, lifting slightly off her back and arms up to let him pull the top off her. It was then she realized he would be able to see her breasts, because he paused. He rested both elbows on either side of her head and she knew he must be taking her in with his eyes.

Embarrassed, she pulled a forearm over herself, breath hitching in her throat, “get a good look?”

His low chuckle felt like it would creep under her skin. Without responding, he leaned towards her collarbone and began placing bruising kisses there, trailing down until his mouth was dangerously close to the previously neglected nipple still covered by her arm. One of the arms resting next to her head dragged down the length of her top half before his fingers wrapped around the wrist of the arm covering herself. She expected him to force it off, pin it to her side, but was surprised when he simply rested it there, thumb rubbing soothing circles on her skin. He continued leaving little kisses all across her chest, and if she could see herself, she’d be cursing her shyness.

Slowly, she let her arm be pulled away, softly placed next to her side while his lips continued their journey downwards. Her head felt full, blood rushing through her ears, and she could barely hear the little moans that left her. The only way she knew they were escaping her were from the vibration in her throat, letting her know she must be making some sort of sound. If it sounded silly or pathetic, he never let her know. Instead, his mouth moved to the center of her chest, gracefully toeing the line between her breasts until she felt the warm wetness of his lips trail up her left breast and encase the hard peak there.

“Ah—!” It was unintentional, but still forced him to pull his mouth from her with a lewd popping sound, and she knew he must be looking at her with those big, worried eyes. Immediately, she shook her head, pulling her fingers through his hair again and massaging gently. She tried to verbalize, “s—sorry, I..I just…”

Without letting her finish, his head dipped back to her chest and she felt his lips around her again. She tried to control her breathing, she really did, but the trembling in her chest wouldn’t let her, and his other hand found her hip and the tightness of his squeeze felt possessive. It made the heat building in her stomach travel between her thighs and she found herself, without intending to, squeezing them in a death grip around the leg that was between them.

She wasn’t sure if that was the reason he raised his knee to press into her, unable to tell if he could feel how absolutely blazing hot she was down there. When his lips left her, there was a small moment of disappointment, only to be rewarded with his lips over the other nipple, treating it with the same care as the other. She willed herself to pay attention to him just as much as he was her, the circling motion he made with his tongue over the little bumps she knew must be protruding from the areola. But really, she was completely out of her element and had no clue how to meet him in the middle. It didn’t seem to matter, though, as he seemed perfectly fine taking the lead from her.

His hand that held her hip snaked around her waist and forced her stomach to press into his chest and the feel had to be up there in top five—no top two best sensations of her life. Hard muscle digging into the plush of her stomach as his tongue continued working circles over the thin skin around her nipple. She willed herself to keep quiet as she dug her fingers into his scalp, not knowing what to do with herself as he worked her into a frenzy. The hand on her breast slid down to the hem of her pants, tugging downwards, and without knowing what she was really doing, she lifted her hips to help him along.

Within moments, she was bare underneath him. She struggled to focus her eyes, wishing she could see him more clearly as his hand rested on her bare hip, caressing. When his lips pulled from her nipple and began trailing down her stomach, grazing over her belly button, she couldn’t stop herself from gripping his hair to stop him.

“Nnn—” she groaned, unable to verbalize whatever it was she was feeling. The warmth of his breath was so close to her most intimate area, it made her brain fuzzy. “No…”

“I’ll stop,” he whispered readily, his lips grazing over her hip bone without continuing, “I’ll stop.”

“I just—” a twinge of worry coated the words, “I’m just…I don’t think…”

“I won’t do anything you don’t want.” His husky voice reverberated in her skull, threatening to undo her.

“I want…this…” she whispered, fingers clutched in the tangles of his hair, “I’m…”

“It’s okay,” his soft words tickled her ears as he rose to meet her, his lips attaching back to her jawline, a rough set of fingers caressing the skin just above her core. He repeated, “it’s okay.”

“Please,” her whispered voice was a little plea as her hips rolled into his fingertips, forcing them to dig into the flesh, “I want you, Konohamaru.”

As if she triggered something with those charged words, his fingers slid downwards until they met the gloss between her thighs. She gasped, breath catching as hardened fingertips, yet so delicately moving, met that bundle of nerves. It made her legs part instinctively, inviting the touch even if she wasn’t entirely aware of what was happening. His next words made everything in her feel tight, “if we’re going to go there, I have to…help you get ready…”

She inhaled a shaky breath as his finger worked circles against her, begging for permission to slide further. Nothing could stop her from bucking her hips up towards the touch, giving that permission more freely than she ever imagined. When the tip of his finger breached those swollen folds, gathering the slick with them, her heel dug into his calf.

“I—” she caught herself, wanting to push him away in embarrassment, feeling so very wrong in the moment. She wanted to shove him off and wrap her legs and arms around him at the same time.

“You’re so amazing.”

The genuine compliment took her off guard.

“Everything about you…I adore…” The tender tone made her heat up, feeling beyond wanted—maybe needed? She wasn’t sure, and had no chance to think further on it as that calloused fingertip slid inside, making her stomach tighten and thighs clench around him. She had no idea what he was feeling underneath her, only that it must be filthy in all the ways she knew as the heiress to her clan, she shouldn’t be offering so readily. But everything in her told her to force him to keep going, her wills not her own as she bucked her hips against that lone finger that dared to enter her.

“So beautiful,” he mumbled against her jawline as his lips left hot marks against it. Despite how good it felt, she had no idea how to proceed, unable to know whether what she was doing was right or wrong, only encouraged by his touch as that finger drove deeper, causing her to pant against his ear. Between breaths, he whispered praise, “so sweet…” his voice went huskier by the minute, “so perfect.”

“Kono…” she whispered against the pillow beneath her, her skin blazing hot as if the sun itself was burning it under his lips and his touch. Her thighs responded, pulling apart until she was embarrassingly spread wide open for whatever he wanted to do. After a moment of letting his finger settle inside of her, another joined, pulling her further apart. “O—oh—oh—” A nagging voice in the back of her mind told her how stupid she sounded—how desperate and needy that whine was until—

“I want you so much.” The words against her ear felt like energy, fire licking at every sensitive spot on her skin. She wanted him so much more than he realized, she wanted to tell him, she wanted so much to tell him—

“Then take me,” she breathed, the only way she knew how to get out what she needed to say. She wanted to tell him that she wanted him, all of him, everything he would give her. But something in the back of her mind told her to hold back, and she wanted to slap herself. Of all times, now? Her brain wouldn’t let her tell him how much she wanted him.

If she was to count herself lucky, it was now, because he took those words at face value. She gasped as his body lifted off hers once more, fingers leaving her feeling empty, and she felt him fumbling with his own pants, until she felt the bare skin of his limbs against hers, hairy legs brushing against hers in a sensation that was also entirely new. Then his heat, long, thick and smooth pressed up against her thighs, begging wordlessly for permission to sink further, which she gave, opening her thighs so it would rest against her core, pressing together in the lewdest action she had ever taken apart of.

“Have…have you ever…” his question was understood immediately, forehead pressing against hers as his breath swept across her lips. Wordlessly, she shook her head, rotating their heads side to side with the action.

“Have…you?” she almost regretted asking because she already knew the answer. When his head nodded up and down against hers, she suppressed the urge to intake a sharp breath.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispered against her lips, and she took the chance to bring them back in, sucking his bottom lip with her own lips, attaching her teeth around it. The tiny groan that left him made her entire lower half feel fiery, wanting so much for that release as his fingers reentered her, stroking inside of her, curling in all the ways she thought about in the past that would leave her a trembling mess.

“I want it,” she managed to choke out, nails digging into his shoulders, “and if you want me, too then please—gods please,” she sucked in a sharp breath as his hips rolled into her once more, fingers stilling inside of her as she spoke, “please, please take me—or—I don’t—” she stumbled on her words, nervous energy taking her as she fought with herself, knowing she was ranting but couldn’t stop it, “or get off, go away, leave me—”

“No—” he sharply interrupted, the fingers working her over, curling in a way that made her want to sit up—sit up and push them away not because it hurt, but because it felt so good it hurt. Before she could act, his fingers pulled out with a lecherous sucking noise, pressing against the flesh of her core to spread the slick along her folds. He pressed his lips against her earlobe, placing gentle kisses before pausing to mumble against it, “I want to take you. I want to take you, so fucking much.”

In any other circumstance, she’d point out that it was the first time she’d ever heard him use such strong language. Using the word ‘fuck’ was new to her from him, and something about it being the first time it was uttered from him during this specific moment excited her beyond reason.

When she felt his length pressing against her folds, his hand reaching down to grip it and rub up and down, she tried her best not to squirm in vain. Despite her best efforts, her entire body shuddered at the touch, and his lips against her pulse point gave a hard suck before trailing back up to her ear. “Can I?”

“Yes,” she breathed freely, extending her hips out in the most desperate fashion she could imagine, embarrassingly but so unashamedly. When the head of his member breached the lips of her heat, she gasped. She thought his two fingers might have prepared her, but it wasn’t enough. The stretch caught her off guard, and she wished she could honestly say it was a good feeling.

Despite it, she couldn’t find it in herself to care. She gritted her teeth and bore it, because she knew what she was in for. Pain was a part of the deal, she knew, and she wanted this more than anything she could describe in words.

“Goddamn,” he exhaled in a shuddered breath, barely moving mere centimeters in her, “are you okay?”

“Yes,” she choked out, gripping the back of his head to bury his face in her neck, “yes, keeping going—please, more—”

Her words had the intended effect on him, because he drove deeper—until their hips met and she felt fully stretched out. His entire width filled her, and she resisted the urge to push him off. She knew it would be painful, but nothing could prepare her for the way her body would both reject her lover whilst simultaneously bringing him in deeper. She wondered how he was so good at it, knowing exactly where to stop, settling inside of her.

“Tell me how you feel,” he whispered against her neck, and she focused on every feeling. Every little touch, every breath, every twitch he offered.

“It…” she whispered, resisting the urge to grind her teeth, “it…hurts a little…but…”

“I’ve heard it…it hurts at first,” he mumbled against her skin, rubbing soothing circles into her back as he clutched onto her, “please Hanabi…tell me if you need me to stop…”

“I really…really don’t want you to stop,” she breathed against the crown of his head. He didn’t respond, instead continuing to kiss along the flesh available to his lips, fingers still rubbing little circles into the plush of her waist he gripped. As she became accustomed to his size, she slowly pulled herself back.

“Want me to keep going?” he rumbled against her skin, causing all of her muscles to flex against him. The little chuckle that left him sounded so filthy at this moment, “I’ll take that as yes.”

When he pulled his full length out of her and pushed back in, she couldn’t stop herself, “yes! Yes—yes—yes, yes, y-yes—”

“Mmmph—" he groaned against her, methodically pulling out and pushing in and she panted fervently against his skin. “Anything for you, princess.”

In any other circumstance, she would probably try to land a Gentle Fist on anyone who dared to call her that nickname at this point in her life. But right now, from Konohamaru, as they gave themselves to one another, she struggled to find a reason to hate the endearing nickname.

“More—” she gasped, digging her nails into whatever skin was available, “please—please!”

“Fuck,” it was so sinful from his lips, it made her tighten. As he rocked into her, she felt herself hanging onto him as if she might slip away. His arms around her waist tightened to the point he might restrict her breathing before he groaned into her ear, “I—I—damnit—I’m gonna—"

“Cum?” she instinctively responded, and despite their position connected to one another in the act itself, she found herself heat up with the vulgar word leaving her mouth, one she only knew from the books she read. When he nodded eagerly against her neck, she tightened her calves around him, “don’t pull out.”

“Ah—” he breathed into her, but his pace didn’t slow as she drew him in, her legs refusing to let go, “a—are you sure?”

“Completely,” she gasped, trying to focus all her attention on the way he felt inside of her. Her arms wound around his neck and drew him tightly into her, forcing him to bury his face in the crook of her neck, “please—please Konohamaru—don’t leave me, please—”

As if her words triggered him, she felt him vibrate against her with a guttural groan, fingertips burying into her skin, almost certain to bruise. He buried his hips in hers, his length and everything he released filling her completely. Her hips lifted to meet his and they seemingly froze, his fingertips still painfully digging into her as he twitched inside of her, but nothing could convince her to push him away.

“Oh—” she gasped as she felt him snap his hips back and forcefully enter one last time, definitively unloading into her as she tightened around him, “oh my—oh gods—”

“You…” he husked against her neck haggardly, nose burying deep into the crook of her neck, “you are a fucking goddess, Hanabi.”

The compliment would normally trigger her to punch him in the arm and tell him to shut up, but right now, it felt like words of reverence. Every part of her skin tingled as his hands worked their way up and down, rubbing and massaging, his lips leaving fluttering kisses wherever they pleased. Barely, she managed to choke out, “s—stop—”

“No,” he replied, perhaps instinctively, his lips trailing from her ear to her jawline until they met hers, taking them in a ravenous kiss before pulling away, “never. I worship you.”

The words felt so tender, yet paralyzed her. Without awaiting her response, he dove back in and captured her lips once more, nearly suffocating her with the hunger he had for her. Anything and everything felt so hot right now, her entire body feeling like puddy in his grip as he began rocking into her once more, his length hardened again despite his release just moments ago. She opened her lips to let out a moan, one louder than all the others because of the unexpectedness of it all.

“Tell me to stop,” he mumbled lazily against her lips, but despite the words, he kept rolling his hips into hers, pumping in and out, and there was no inclination inside of her to tell him so.

“Don’t stop,” she managed to utter between heated, sloppy kisses, “don’t stop—please don’t stop, Konohamaru.”

His next words made her lock up, “how did I get so lucky?” She felt his lips press from hers down her jaw, teeth scraping against her skin, “making love to the most beautiful woman in the world—”

She gasped at that sentence, her core tightening in response.

“I mean it,” he whispered in response, one of his hands drawing from her back to cup her cheek, “with everything I have—you are everything.”

“Konohamaru,” she whispered, feeling guilty that she didn’t have the same way with words as he did.

“Shh,” he shushed her, capturing her lips once more, his palm still cradling her face, whispering between kisses, “you don’t have to say anything. I just want you to feel good.” She felt herself flutter around him at the comment. “Do you feel good?”

“So…” she stuttered between his insatiable kisses, “so good…”

“Good,” he muttered, devouring her lips with his. All the while, his hips kept their lazy pace, the defined muscle digging into her with every stroke. She couldn’t help but wonder how long he could keep this up, impressed with his stamina because despite him doing all the work, she felt herself feeling exhausted. Apparently he could tell as his pace slowed until he stopped inside of her, fully encased by her. He pulled up from the kiss. “Tired?”

“Mmm…” she hummed, leaning up to try to bring him back into the kiss, only to have him turn his head. “Maybe a little…”

“Fair,” he murmured, leaning back down to place a kiss on the tip of her nose. When she felt him start to draw his hips back, she instinctively tightened her legs around him.

“D—don’t go—” she stuttered out, causing him to lower back down on her.

“You need rest,” he whispered, gently rolling off of her to his side, leaving her entrance in the process that caused a tiny gasp, “but I won’t leave.”

“Thank you,” she exhaled, letting him gather his arms around her and pull her into his chest. She felt so small against him, and something about it was incredibly comforting. “Thank you, Kono…”

“Thank you,” he mumbled against the top of her head, pulling the thin sheet over their bare bodies against one another.

[seelestia]

Say my dear author, have you any thoughts on which nation so far has been your favorite, whether that be visuals, the characters that reside in it, the shops around it, the terrains.

As someone who doesn't know a lot about the game apart from whatever I see other fans post about and also from tiktok videos, I do know about the weird placements of chests (?), like how complicated it is for the chest to become visible lmao

ngl tho, all this talk of builds, artifacts, etc is making my head spin :''D

I think if I were ever able to play genshin impact, i would probably be one of those players who doesn't know wtf they're doing and just tries throwing everything at the game in order to make it work :'D

But yeah! what about you dearest author? might I ask about your play style? (assuming that u play the game :''D) - Ever so truly yours, 👹✨ anon <3 (small add-in, I'm not gonna lie, whenever I see you answering my ask on my dashboard I get a boost of serotonin. Not to mention how I always look forward to your answers :D)

hello there, my dearest anon <3 ironically enough, my current favorite nation is the one after sumeru which is fontaine! it's probably because i am a sucker for elegant/royal city themes that fontaine seems to have, so i'm most excited for it! but each nation shines in its own ways <3

they're not wrong about the placements of the chests fjkwkdksk hoyoverse loves to put chests where they blend into the background or just high-up places if you're a climber. atp, i just go "are you fr rn🧍" every time (/j)

talks about stats, artifacts, and builds definitely got me spinning too when i started playing 😵 if i summarize, it's all about giving your characters the suitable weapon and artifacts (a set that has its own specialties like elemental DMG, shield strength, etc. which boosts your characters' stats) that align with their combat capabilities / talents !! >:)

hehe, i do play the game~ i was a non-player fandom lurker like you for two months before i gave in and played. and rn, i can say that my playstyle's best friend is swirl (as a kazuha and heizou main)! it's a reaction caused by the anemo element that spreads elemental effects like wet and applies it to enemies around you, so i can do other reactions like electro-charged or frozen easily !! <3

and i'm glad that my answers give you serotonin just like how your asks give the same amount to me !! :( you are vv fun to chat with and thoughtful too, so it's always a joy to see you in my inbox~ your little questions make me feel like a celebrity in a friendly way fjekkdksk (/lh)

i really want to thank you for taking some time out of your day to talk to me :( the only way i can think of repaying you is through requests fjwkskdkeks — but just know that i am virtually giving you a hug and swinging you around every time we talk <3 🫂

have some heizou pics that i took yesterday while i was exploring sumeru ft. my golden seelie !! for youuuu ;D (he's a smiley boy!)

[mourningmoth]

so since i cant make my own content quick enough for myself, im just gonna infodump about my nerevarine and vivec's relationship, which hopefully i can later convey better with actual art, but also it involves some context, lol

i am always thinking about their dynamic tho bc its rly fun to work with since their whole thing is so complicated

in ivesi's story specifically, ive decided on the canonical status of some details that are left to player interpretation, such as whether the player character actually is nerevar or not

so in this canon, ivesi is a reincarnation of nerevar (but only after mantling via prophesies, ie i like 2 think she specifically becomes nerevar through effort). as an outlander dunmer, she's also familiar with the tribunal gods, but never really got to have a connection to them culturally, so she has this sense of unfamiliarity with them up until she actually gets to morrowind

anyway! in my head, their friendship works out as kind of a slow burn, where ivesi doesnt fully trust vivec at first, but softens her opinion the more they talk, and the more questions ivesi asks

(strangely enough, vivec's crypticbullshit-speak doesnt seem to bother ivesi much, but theres... a point where she can get frustrated with non-straight forwardness lmao)

ivesi also tends to ask questions of vivec that are difficult or uncomfortable to answer, so from vivec's side of things, theyre not too psyched about ivesi at first either

from ivesi's pov also, its really weird because shes basically forced to cooperate with this person for obvious reasons, while also having that uncomfortable lingering air of "hey u knew me in my past life and u POSSIBLY killed me, maybe explain?"

i like 2 think ivesi presses about the "foul murder" a few times, and gets a different side-steppy response every time (which at first, vivec gives to gauge her reaction), but eventually they seem to break down eachothers walls enough to the point that vivec EVENTUALLY honestly answers that they did not kill nerevar, which (at that point) she actually believes

(and like. i kno the final mission against dagoth ur takes place right after meeting vivec but SHH in my dumb little world, the assault on red mountain actually took some time to prep because i need self-indulgent character relationship time)

whats also nice about their dynamic to me, is that they're basically the only two people even capable of being the others friend, since theyre really the only ones aside from the other tribunes who have a real understanding of the situation and ivesi's role in it (thats not true entirely tho bc POST main-quest, ivesi does learn how to actually maintain relationships and makes a few friends later on)

like, to ivesi, vivec is the only person she CAN talk to who understands who she is in a meaningful way. to vivec, ivesi is the only mortal person theyre willing to divulge certain information to, given their shared history and vivec's cutoff from both soth sil and almalexia

it's like theyre the only people the other has "left" of their personal relationships (this is also because ivesi is sort of standoffish and doesnt have a lot of other friendships prior to the vivec thing anyway. its trauma), further compounded by how dire the situation is right before voryn is defeated, so they really feel "lost" and alone with eachother for a good minute

altho from vivec's pov it's probably rly weird that u've simultaneously known this person for like, a couple months but ALSO hundreds of years. (it makes sense) so i also like to think because of this innate familiarity vivec has with ivesi by virtue of her being nerevar, that vivec has a hard time deciding how to regard her at first, and how candid/honest to be and when

i just think about their dumb complicated shit a lot

[acid-by-thomas]

Inspiration is a tricky thing.

When you have this thing you appreciate in some way - whether it's in love, hate, confusion, any emotion at all, really - and you have some imagination in your toolbox, it's a fairly natural inclination to use your creativity to turn it into something new to enjoy. A pretty roundabout way of showing your appreciation for something, but that's just part of the creative process, I suppose - I think we all encounter some sort of spark, even in the simplest, mundane experiences of life, that begs to be kindled into something new and wonderful.

But I wonder sometimes where recycling or remixing something begins and where outright apeing it ends.

Or even if there's much of a distinction to worry about at all, really.

I've been worrying a little too much about distinctions like that, recently.

Take my own work, for instance. I don't think I'm held down much artistically speaking by a personal style. I have things that definitely appeal to me more, and I particularly like to play around with whatever medium I'm currently in, but I don't feel restricted to a single medium or genre in particular. Now, is that a plus on my part? Or am I too broad in my style to really be particularly distinct? Or is that sliding scale of specific style just another tool that can be to my benefit or my detriment either way?

Am I too uninhibited in my inspiration, perhaps? I feel I'm more than capable of turning it into my own thing, but I still like to wear it on my sleeve rather openly. Maybe I should take one idea I like and focus solely on reworking it into something without adding any other idea on top? How the hell would that work? Is it still putting stuff on top if I ostensibly pull it completely from the ether?

What's the line on apeing an idea, anyways? We hold originality and copyright in high regard, but there are plenty of artists out there that prove you can be successful and deeply original while also sampling wholecloth from other artists or just stapling a mustache on the Mona Lisa yes I'm looking at you Duchamp you beautiful bastard

They say people who get into creative work do so because they have great taste, but is "taste" something more tangible than echoing stuff you love? Hell, I just echoed somebody right there - that was a Zen Pencils comic I like, and they were apeing Ira Glass for that comic.

I aped the font I used for my title, I aped the ape I used in the title, I "aped" the art software I used to make it and the blog website on which this is being typed...

Shit, man.

Should I do more of this from scratch? How would I even start?

So many questions and not enough answers.

But maybe that's just because I know a lot of those questions are redundant. It's fun sometimes to just type about little redundancies like that, I suppose.

Perhaps part of why I'm asking these is that it almost seems too easy now to make the stuff I love. But I think that's okay. I'm thankful someone, somewhere out there put together and maintained these softwares that allow me to share my own appreciation for this wonderful world.

And maybe I'll do more of this stuff from scratch eventually, but either way I'm glad I'm loosening up on that detrimental pride in doing everything "by myself" and actually doing stuff at all. I feel like part of the reason it's taken me so long to even get on this blog is that I felt some obligation to code one on my own, but the truth is if you try to be completely "au naturale" and not use the tools in front of you for fear of coming off unoriginal, you'll be kneecapping yourself.

And frankly, in that regard, I'd rather be an ape than a chicken.

[yuna-writes]

I started reading a book about Afformations....it’s basically a self-motivation book about changing your mindset to think more positively. These days, I’ve been trying to stay away from these self-motivational books because they seem very redundant and the writer is always selling some kind of motivational course. Often times, it does and this industry is a huge profit for people who are looking for purpose and meaning in a book. I’m reading it because a relative recommended the book to me, and I do find some parts of it interesting. 

It’s interesting in a way the writer believes afformations is part of your reality but I question whether it is. For example, the writer would say instead of creating excuses or negative self talk such as ‘why am I so fat?’ or ‘why am I so unattractive, poor, unsuccessful?’ The writer believes to change our mindset in which we believe we are none of those qualities. Afformation is basically telling our conscious to express the question ‘why am I so fit, attractive, wealthy and successful?’ Then we can see the change we want based on the confidence we gain from afformation. 

The only thing about this is what if your own self perception of yourself is accurate and these ‘afformations’ are lies or excuses? That’s a really tricky question. What is reality versus what is constructed in our mind? It feels like blur to me and I don’t know what true or false. I would like to believe in my afformations, but some parts of me don’t believe it’s entirely true. I don’t think it’s negativity per say, but getting to the ‘reality’ or the hard truth is something I look for. I can see how other people may find ‘reality’ to be negative, dark and hopeless. I still think the truth matters more, because the truth sets one free. Whether someone feels like it’s negative...is a negative person in general. 

Recently, I was having doubts whether I wanted to pursue game dev or not. Is being a game developer something I want and why? It has a personal impact to me and I can explain the why, but I’m still figuring out the how. Having doubts is a pretty common feeling anyway. Everyone have doubts about our capability to achieve a goal or a desired results. There is a unconscious voice telling me this might be too difficult, or too complex, expensive, etc. These are common excuses people develop unconsciously, but the key answer to overcoming those excuses is to answer the why. The ‘why’ can overcome and encompass all those obstacles. 

I don’t know, there isn’t really a deep and emotional attachment to game dev. It’s not like being a healthcare worker when most of them respond by saying how they feel connected to the patients makes the job worth it to them. Their ‘why’ is the patients even though the job can be stressful. My ‘why’ is that I find game dev intriguing and fun, but it was also part of my childhood growing up. When I struggled to make friends in school and didn’t have much of a parent figure to give me guidance, video games actually helped me get through tough times while also teaching me important lessons. It helped me introspect a bit but also keeping me in a good mood. I also made online friends through video games. I know most people think video games are waste of time because it deters someone from making friendships in the real world. Truthfully, I felt when no one gave me a chance to be their friend, I found my online friends and gaming to be a source for companionship. 

[carloz]

ENTREPRENEURSHIP IN A FAST PACING WORLD By: Razon Ruel Jr, Vasallo Carl Austin, Sanchez Julie Marte, Cebrero Jamaica

WEEK BLOG # 1 "A Blessing in Disguise"

“something that seems bad or unlucky at first, but results in something good happening later”

Together with my classmates, Ruel Razon, Jamaica Cebrero and Vasallo , we interviewed a business owner of the Motorcycle Parts And Accessories about his business and we asked some advice on how to come up ideas to build an empire. I would like you to meet Boss Bernard Quijada, a self – master. Because, Boss Bernard have the capability to control the mind and also the feelings. He have the attitude to act proactively and should not over react in any situation.

Me: Why did you decide to become a business owner?

Boss Bernard: I was fired over a year ago now. I came home and fumed. I got underneath the covers and cried. I decided I needed to start a business. Losing that job was a blessing in disguise really.

Me: How long have you been in this business industry?

Boss Bernard: It's been a long time since I’ve been in this business. I think 8 years.

Me: What methods do you use to promote your business?

Boss Bernard: I use social media, I get involved in an online community, I use high-quality visuals and offer a discounted or free product/service. it is totally free to set up a business account on most social media destinations, making it one of the more reasonable ways to promote my business.

Me: What were some challenges you faced?

Boss Bernard: Problem solving, cash flow and financial management and planning ahead.

Me: What are the benefits of doing this type of business after all this years?

Boss Bernard: In the first place I have no idea and can't decide what to start I do research well on what I can handle well. In case I am opting for an online motorcycle parts business, I need to have a proper-functioning website with virtual support, web hosting, and a computer system. And I learned to buy only those items that are salable then I can add your capital later. It's a good thing I already have my mechanic.  I ask the mechanic which items are salable. List down and canvass from wholesalers and compare the price. I also note the most used motorcycle brand and model in your area (e.g. Honda, Kawasaki, Yamaha or Suzuki). These are the motorcycle parts and accessories that I should buy.

Boss Bernard is one of my closest friend and he is very kind. Me and Boss always talked about how to improve, grow and have a good lifestyle while coffee.  He helps me to become a better person. That is why he has a mistress that supported him in every situation. And he loves his family so much. The flow of the conversation goes like this.

WEEK BLOG #2:  “Don’t worry. Be happy.”

“Whether we are rich or poor, educated or uneducated, whatever our nationality, colour, social status or ideology may be, the purpose of our lives is to be happy.”

-Dalai Lama

We reunited to find another interviewee. We looked for someone with a business to ask them. We were even tired of doing our respective thesis. We really found a way. Because we are so eager to hear new stories about the business. And share it on our blog. We miss listening to new stories. Until we thought Randy Villanueva owns the Fabrication business. As he helps us plan what is really better to do with our respective theses, we talk to him and ask questions. Boss Randy is a fun and happy companion. He likes to laugh.

Me: Why did you decide to become a business owner?

Boss Joseph: I didn't go to college. Because I can’t afford the tuition fee. So I worked and until I met someone. We became best friends. He is good at business. So we both planned what good things to do to have our own business. Until we got to where we started. And we had our own business.

Me: How long have you been in this business industry?

Boss Joseph: It’s been a long time, too, since I started when I was 35 years old. And I am 50 years old now. So 15 years.

Me: What methods do you use to promote your business?

Boss Joseph: Meats are always delivered fresh. Buy with a discount. And one there must be able to get along with those I supply with my product. And I really show them that I’m not really cheating. I also used social media to post my meat. And he is really a big help. And tarpaulins that I give to my friends to be advertised in different places.

Me: What were some challenges you faced?

Boss Joseph: Frustration due to losses, thinking of new and good plans. Hesitation always. But, all that is normal when you go into business.

Me: What are the benefits of doing this type of business after all this years?

Boss Joseph: That won’t be a problem with money. As time goes on you will learn. It may be very difficult in the beginning but there is a destination when it is started. This is good business.

Boss Joseph is not arrogant. Humble and very understanding. Good at speaking. And very charismatic. He really has a talent in business because he really uses his mind and he really takes every move and plan to heart.

WEEK BLOG #3 "HOPE"

"Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear."

-Albert

We had interviewed  entrepreneur to take their perspectives to the business that they had operated and this entrepreneur are located at the brgy. Carmen purok 6 Cagayan De Oro City.

ME: what are the difficulties that you’ve encountered in your business?

Answer: Ma'am Mariel said that the difficulties that she encountered in doing their business is when there is a lot of vegetables and fish or other goods that did not sold on that day because it will damage on the other day and it will cause reduction in their income and also their capital included and will lost.

ME: how much profit that you have gain in a week?

Answer: ma'am Mariel said they will get 10k-12k in a week if that their goods was sold all in all if their goods will not sold all in all they will get only 5k-8k in a week and she also said that in doing a business you can’t estimate your total income per week because it doesn’t seem to be the same sales per day.

ME: did this business can support your other needs?

Answer: she said that, having this types of business it can really sustain in their daily needs because having this types of business they don't need to buy into other store because they have their own and then in financial it can also help to their family. Because of their business they own bonggo frontier and 2 motorcycle.

ME: how do you overcome the challenges in your business?

Answer: she said that in having a business sometimes they will facing challenges that makes them more stronger and she said in order to overcome the challenges you must strengthen your mind and be positive always because if you take it deeply you will surely suffer from depression. 

WEEK BLOG #4 "Frugality Makes a Poor Man Rich"

“A hungry stomach, an empty pocket and a broken heart can teach the best lessons of life”

We went to the other village to find the man named Willie Oliveros. A Proven business owner or it belongs to what we call street foods. Boss Willie is very kind and approachable. He did not refuse us to talk to him even for a moment. He is not arrogant and he knows how to get along. He understands us. And we immediately started our interview.

Me: Why did you decide to become a business owner?

Boss Willie: We are just poor. I grew up in a squatter area. So I persevered in life. Hunger and lack of finances pushed me to get up every day. Sometimes I even like a beautiful woman. But he just criticized me because his parents didn't like me. Because I have nothing to feed their daughter. It hurts to think about it but I persevered even more. I worked until I accumulated capital and started a business.

Me: How long have you been in this business industry?

Boss Willie: I have been in this business for over 6 years. And I've been through a lot.

Me: What methods do you use to promote your business?

Boss Willie: I brewed delicious and varied sauces that buyers keep coming back to. And I made sidecars so I could put my cooking utensils there. Then I get trustworthy people so they can sell street foods. And I taught them where the good places are for lots of sales. And that’s where it started. As it lasts with our collaboration my workers don’t expect our ways to sell even more.

Me: What were some challenges you faced?

Boss Willie: I also went through a lot of hardships. Sometimes and I hesitate to continue my business. It's just like when the Pandemic came. I'm about to fall. Because prohibited sale of Proven on the roads. It's like I want to cry but for what else. Nothing can be done

Me: What are the benefits of doing this type of business after all this years?

Boss Willie: This is what we serve as our source of money. This is where we take in our daily expenses. And to the expenses for my children’s education. Here I learned how to handle money and what it does to human life.

In our interview with Boss Willie we learned a lot. Giving up on challenges is not the solution. It has to be faced and be resilient. No matter what happens, keep going and you will get something in life. Don’t offend the critics. Make it an inspiration.

WEEK BLOG #5 "PERSEVERANCE"

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.”

I did an interview with the Supervisor/Manager Ma'am Izzay Villegas of the Demetrios Best Pizza in CDO.

ME: what are the difficulties that you’ve encountered in your business?

Ma'am izzay: As the one whoe sees what's going on with the business there are some problems sometimes that occur when the supply we want is unavailable and some of the varieties of pizza is out of order that would get low our profit and also technical problems in applications or in social media platforms.

ME: how much profit that you have gain in a week?

Ma'am izzay: In my observation it depends on the sale if example this week we get a higher sales we can make a profit like 50k or 60k a week.

ME: did this business can support your other needs?

Ma'am izzay: This would definetly support my needs and can support my mother and other siblings but first and foremost my baby because I have a baby now. I can buy things and stuffs that what he needs.

ME: how do you overcome the challenges in your business?

Ma'am izzay: There will be thousands of challenges in the business and in life but one thing is for sure stay positive in your goals in achieving things that would make a big great impact in your life and business, always win in life and it will connect to the business and never lose hope as failures come along.

[sukirichi]

Hello! Can you write one about Nanami where the reader is oblivious and they're really close to Gojo so he gets jealous often. Sometimes Gojo does things purposely to annoy him and one day he just lost his composure and accidentally admitted his feelings for you.

I hope u accept if you're not too busy. Thank you!!!

— a little push

— sometimes all nanami needs is a little push.

nanami kento x fem! reader

thank you for the request anon! i’m not sure if reader is oblivious enough but i hope you like it! there’s some thick pining here hur hur, i hope you like it! i never knew i needed an easily flustered and awkward nanami in my life also this is unedited as usual

check my bio for masterlist and my milestone event! (◕ᴗ◕✿)

“Do you mind?”

Nanami sighs, silently praying to the heavens you wouldn’t hear the way his heart is absolutely panicking and beating wildly right now. You’d randomly pushed him inside the teachers’ office the moment he got back to the institute at work, and now he’s doomed to hide his feelings while you look up at him with wide, innocent eyes, a shaky yet excited grin painted on your face.

“Sorry, sorry,” you wave your hands in front of you, although he can tell you’re not apologetic at all. Nanami clears his throat when you step backwards to give him space, unsure if he’s happy or sad about the distance. “I was just really excited to see you back.”

Your carefree, lighthearted voice, along with that little jump in your toes combined with your statement – you’re basically asking Nanami to shrivel up already.

The stoic man remains composed, though, only shifting to adjust his tie while he stares down at you. You’re still somewhat bouncing on your feet, teeth biting your lip – a habit you had when you want to say something but contemplating whether you should. Tilting away to hide the slight flush in his cheeks, Nanami sighs again, pretending to be tired.

The last thing he wants to admit that even though he is exhausted from work, is that you’d never bother him. In fact, having you bombard him like this makes him feel like he didn’t deal with special grade curse by himself all alone just an hour ago.

“If there’s something you want to say, I suggest you get it over with. I don’t want to stay overtime and wait until the blindfolded creep comes around.”

You giggle at his insult, hiding behind your cupped palms. Crap, Nanami looks away and focuses on the birds outside instead, suddenly finding them so interesting despite never paying attention to them before. Maybe that was the curse of crushes – it had people acting differently and in complete contrast with their behavior.

“About that,” you begin almost shyly now, and Nanami practically bursts when he sees you tapping both of your pointer fingers together, gaze tilted away from him.

It makes him wonder you’re nearly on the same skill to Gojo, yet still somehow look like a small, innocent being that makes him want to protect you from everything – even if you were more than capable of handling things yourself. Well, Nanami concludes to himself, maybe you’re really just that paradoxical that it makes sense why he can never think straight around you. Maybe he’s really not supposed to understand the complexity of his feelings when you were a phenomena to begin with already.

“You see…Satoru asked me out.”

Nanami stiffens at your statement for a split second before his head whips to you so fast. You’re observant – of course you are, you’re a jujutsu sorcerer – and you easily pick up in his sudden change of demeanor. Your brow raises at his abrupt reaction, to which Nanami conceals by flexing his neck and rolling his shoulders back.

“I am simply tired from work,” he haf-lies, “So, Satoru asked you out? Will you say yes?”

His words and tone are monotonous, almost bored even, but deep inside he’s so close to beating the crap out of his co-worker. Well, not really, Nanami isn’t a man of violence, but he’s jealous. Of course he is – he’s liked you ever since Principal Yaga hired you.

He’s never told Satoru about his little crush on you. He would be stupid to do such; Satoru would tease him to no end and maybe even be as childish to go as far as pushing him to you. Typical elementary shit, Nanami cringes to himself, watching as you look down at your feet with a pout. Now that confused him. He isn’t sure what your body language means at all, but patient as ever, Nanami only waits.

“Well,” you scratch your forehead, “I’m really flattered. I want to say yes because Satoru is a nice guy—”

“He is not. I do not respect him.”

You roll your eyes at the way his eyes darkens, “—but also I’m not sure if I should. I mean, Satoru doesn’t really date, you know? He’ll be with like one girl and be with another the next week. I just don’t want to…like, fall for that, I guess. Not that I won’t, because he’s totally not my type—”

“It’s just a yes or no,” Nanami cuts you off, his words coming out a lot harsher than he intends it to be. It’s not that he’s annoyed at your rambling, he actually finds it so adorable when you get so lost in your train of thoughts that your mind just travels from one place to another, and seeing how your eyes just leave farther from reality is something he’s always find such an attractive quirk, but not now – not when his infuriating co-worker is intending to mess with your feelings. “Do you want to go or not? Yes or no? It’s as simple as that.”

You blink back at him in surprise, mouth opening and closing like a fish. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that Nanami was a no-bullshit man who hit things right on the head, a huge contrast to your happy-go-lucky self, but he’s right.

It is that simple – and you’re complicating things all over again.

When you give him an answer, Nanami has to muster all his energy to not deflate. He’s tired – but now his exhaustion and even the heartbreak comes crashing down all over him that he’s immediately weighed down and overwhelmed – so much so that all he wants is to go home.

“Yes, I want to go.”

It’s his day off.

Like everything else in his life, Nanami plans everything down to the last minute of his day. His day off consisted of him having the privilege to sleep in until 8am, then breakfast with coffee from that great café a five minute walk away from his apartment, then he’ll be reading books in his study for two hours. Comes after that is lunch, and he’ll brows through some TV shows, pick up his clothes from the dry cleaning, get that special limited edition dinner of his favorite sushi, read books again and call it a day.

Simple, peaceful, no hassle – it’s the perfect day to relax.

Except it isn’t.

Because it’s your day off too, and you’re out on a date with Satoru. He still remembers how happy you looked then upon accepting the white haired man’s invitation, your nimble fingers wrapped around his sleeve as you shyly asked him to come with you.

He doesn’t know why you had to bring him, but he doesn’t question it, nonetheless. Nanami wants to see how Satoru would react, if there could be any indication from the man behind his blindfold that he had ill intentions. Oddly enough, there didn’t seem to be any. Satoru only beamed and deflated into a chibi, enthusiastically nodding along with you while you planned your date together.

Nanami took it upon himself to leave.

With a silent scoff, Nanami placed his dinner down on the counter. Because it’s his day off – and mostly because he doesn’t feel like himself – Nanami went out to buy the limited edition sushi wearing a white shirt and some gray sweatpants, too forlorn and a little jealous to even bother dressing up.

It’s stupid, really. He’s been looking forward for this sushi for a long, long time, but now that he’s had it, he can’t even enjoy the taste. His mind keeps going back to you.

Were you having fun with Satoru? Were you enjoying your time? Was Satoru treating you well? What was Satoru’s intentions when it came with you? The last time Nanami checked, you and him got along really well and you’re mostly the one who whacks the taller man in the head upside down when he’s being stupid, almost like two peas in a pod, except you were the smarter one. He’d been so sure you’re nothing but friends and yet…it all lead to this.

Nanami pushes his sushi away. They no longer taste like anything, the texture like dried paper on his mouth. He wipes his lips with a napkin, staring longingly at well…nothing. His walls were plain and empty, and suddenly, Nanami can’t help but compare himself to Gojo.

You both planned to go to the local carnival. There’d be lots of foods and even parlor shops, ferris wheel rides and photo booths to create memories. Of course you and Satoru would go there; both of you enjoyed loud, bustling crowds, claiming there was something amazing about basking in the “lives of humans when ignorant of curses” while Nanami prefers his peace and silence.

Had you gone out on a date with him instead, Nanami can’t guarantee he’ll be any fun. He most definitely wouldn’t ask you to go to a carnival with him either. It was loud, cramped, crowded, and it’s too chaotic for him to ever enjoy your presence and enjoy it alone.

Nanami closes the sushi box, turns on the TV and lets is play on the background, a wet towel above his eyes to relax his tired eyes.

He hopes you’re having fun. He hopes Satoru is treating you well. Nanami just ignores the slight pain in his chest when he thinks of you, laughing and touching anyone but him, and he could picture it already. You’ve always been so open and welcoming to everyone, he knows you’ll have fun today, too.

That’s one of the things he finds most endearing about you – that your smile never fades and you never forget about the simple, little things in life to focus on to keep your sanity after facing curse after curse.

He’s fine, he tells himself. Satoru may be annoying, but he knows you could have fun with him, and you deserved to be happy more than anyone else.

Nanami is about to fall asleep on his couch when his phone vibrates on the coffee tables. Groaning, he flicks off the towel to his shoulders, grumbling about how Principal Yaga better be respecting his day off, but the last thing he expects to see is your contact name flashing on the screen. In the contact photo, you’re winking with a peace sign held above your head.

You look so utterly adorable Nanami just wants to kiss you. He remembers this photo was taken when Yuuji got bored and asked to play games on his phone. Upon finding that there was none – of course there was none – the strawberry-haired student opted for taking pictures of everyone instead. There’s one with Nobara growling, Megumi sipping his boba-tea with dead eyes as if he’s so done with the world, more than twenty pictures of Satoru flexing his muscles and posing like an idiot, and then there’s yours.

Nanami remembers staring at his phone for a solid minute, his gallery actually blessed with your face in it. The sun shines behind you on that photo and you’re absolutely shining. He thinks that’s when he truly fell in love.

And it just so happened the love of his life is calling, making his heart skip a beat because shouldn’t you be with Gojo? Why were you calling him? Did something wrong happen?

Nanami doesn’t waste another second before swiping the green icon, already standing up from the couch as he grabs his jacket. He had this weird inkling something is wrong, why else would you call him?

His theories are proven true when your voice comes out shaky. “H-hello?”

“Good evening,” he greets stiffly, brows furrowed as he listens in on the way you seem to be shuffling around. “Is there something wrong?”

“I, uhm,” he hears you sniffle through the other line, “Yeah, I guess there is…Satoru just texted he can’t come because Principal Yaga suddenly sent him to a mission overseas…and then I just realized that Satoru’s been summoned by the elders and he’s just refusing to show up, so now they cornered him, I guess… anyways, I’m talking too much and I don’t want to be a bother, but would you maybe…like to hang out with me?”

Nanami’s hand freezes on the doorknob. “Hang out…professionally?”

He immediately wants to smack himself in the forehead for that. Out of all things he could’ve said, he just had to utter something unintelligent. He hears you snicker in the background and Nanami’s ears redden. 

He quickly regains his composure with a clear of his throat, suddenly remembering that Satoru’s ditched you, so now you’re asking him instead. It kind of feels like he’s just a replacement, but Nanami buries this feeling down before it consumes him, wondering if he’s already regretting changing into better clothes because he actually agreed to go to a carnival with you.

Upon hearing your happy, “Okay! I’ll wait for you then!”, Nanami realizes that he doesn’t actually mind. Especially not with you.

The carnival is loud.

Nanami dreads the moment he steps out of his car, his body swallowed by the bustling crowd and defeaning music of banging drums and clashing instruments. There’s a hundred scents everywhere – smoke, fish, glazed apples – he doesn’t know where to begin or how to focus.

He nearly turns back to his hair, about to shoot you a text that maybe this is beyond him after all. His head begins to spin when he’s only pushed deeper into the crowd, people bumping into him with every single second and it’s so suffocating. It doesn’t make sense to him how anyone could possibly go on a date like this and enjoy it. He knows for sure this chaos won’t let him enjoy his date’s presence because he’s too busy trying to get away from it all.

Nanami staggers for a bit when a strong hand tugs him to the side. Soon, he finds himself pressed flush against you in a tight corner, your hips warm on his. “Hi,” you breathe out airily, lashes fanning and fluttering in that same manner that always made his heart do complete flips.

“Hello,” he greets back with a small bow out of faux respect, but really, he’s just keeping his head down because you look so beautiful in that moment he doesn’t even know where to look. You’re warm and soft next to his hard and stiff muscles, the scent of roses and vanilla mixing in with the street smoke and Nanami’s head grows dizzy, his hand around yours tightening for comfort. “Y/N…I do not prefer this crowd. Can I take you back home instead? You must be tired – I’ll prepare dinner for you.”

Nanami blinks back in surprise when he sees you nod, a slight grimace on your face, and you practically bury your face in his bicep as you groan, “It’s too noisy for me too. Let’s just hang out at your place.”

So you end up in his immaculately clean apartment, admiring and staring at the boring furniture. Nanami changes into more comfortable clothes and whips out something to cook, not wanting to feed you measly take out when you’re probably famished. He watches with side glances as you pick up a photo of him with his parents when he was younger, cooing and giggling at the baby version of him.

“Nanamin, you’re so cute!”

Nanami scoffs and turns back to the heated water in the bowl, arms hard as they cross against his chest covered with an apron. “Please do not call me cute. I am anything but.”

“No, you’re really cute,” you insist, but after seeing Nanami’s flustered frown, you eventually give up and give the poor man a break. Later, you wobble next to him, watching with curious eyes and a small smile as he adds the vegetables into the soup, moving expertly as he diced up the onions to the side. The sheer focus and attention on his daily tasks makes him falter, and he suddenly finds it so hard to function now.

“Why are you staring at me? Is there something so interesting about slicing up onions?”

“No, not really,” you say absentmindedly, the slight plop of the ingredients echoing. “It’s just – I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this way. Domestic, I mean, but it looks good on you,” you nod to yourself, and Nanami finds himself struggling to act as if your presence wasn’t making him go crazy while he proceeds to cook. “In fact, everything looks good on you, and I find you really interesting!”

“Y-you do?”

“Yes, of course!”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” you shrug, assisting him silently with mixing the bowl even when he didn’t ask you to. Unaware that he’s now focused on you, watching you cook with him with you pressed up against his side, almost as if it’s right where you belong, Nanami feels the same with you. You also look good being this domestic with him, and he suddenly blurts out, “Would you like to stay with me? Like this?”

Your eyes slide over his in a slow fashion, slow enough that his brain hotwires at the fear maybe he’s said something wrong. But Nanami immediately swallows it down, huffing and turning away from you with that stoic expression again. “Forgive me. That was weird—”

“Why would it be weird?” you laughed to yourself before bumping your hips with his, “You’re the one who invited me here. Of course I want to stay.”

That’s…that’s not what he means.

Nanami is left staring openly at you while you help him set the table and you proceed to talk about how you didn’t really want to go to the carnival but Satoru insisted you’d have fun, so you went anyway even if you’d much prefer to be somewhere else. He’s barely listening, too distracted by the way your lips move and how you swing the house slippers on your big toe, your legs crossed on top of another and your figure slightly hunched across from him.

You look so comfortable and welcomed in his home that it puts him at ease too, not worried that he has to impress you anything because it’s you, and Nanami could actually be vulnerable enough to laugh with you over a bowl of vegetable soup.

It’s fine, he lies to himself again, it’s fine that you don’t know he likes you even if he tends to slip and be obvious sometimes. Because at least you’re with him in that moment, and he lies to himself again that it’s fine, that maybe next time he’ll tell you, but he doesn’t worry about. How could he worry about it when you’re snorting so loud over a lame joke he said that rice nearly came out your nose, and he’s so drunk over the sound of your bubbly laughter that something flutters deep within his belly?

When you help him wash the dishes and bask in the silence instead, comfortable over the lack of words and nothing but the sound of his faucet running and the slight rubbing of towels against dishes heard in the background, Nanami is unsure whether he’s glad that Satoru ditched you on your first date.

It doesn’t stop there.

Nanami only keeps falling in love with you more. He’s been doing a good job of keeping his feelings to himself because the last thing he wants is to have you stay away from him, but Satoru was really getting on his nerves.

He’s just come back from exorcising a curse when he sees you and Satoru play-wrestling in the field with the other students. Megumi is grumbling to himself in the corner, Yuuji is laughing and cheering on you to tackle down his sensei who’s currently going down in high-pitched laughter, Toge pumping his fists and screaming, “Salmon, salmon!”

It’s a chaotic sight – one that he usually doesn’t mind – until you finally pin Satoru down on the ground, your ass above his crotch. Satoru’s hands then come up to squeeze your ass and hips under the false pretense he’s struggling to push you off him, but Nanami knows better.

“Give up already!” you tease the other sorcerer who’s still wriggling underneath you, and Nanami sees it before it happens.

Satoru’s legs bend beneath you and he tries to pin you under him in quick movements, but Nanami is faster, his reflexes taking over. Before he realizes what he’s doing, Nanami tugs you and pulls you forward until you collide on his chest. He’s breathing hard, eyes narrowed at the arrogant smirk painted on Satoru’s features. Meanwhile, you’ve softened in Nanami’s grip, hands fisting his shirt that has him hardening up out of sheer protectiveness.

“Oh, Nanamin!” Satoru beams while wiping the dirt on his hands across his uniform, “Glad to see you here. You wanna join training too?”

“This is hardly training,” he retorts with a clenched jaw, “You’re harassing and disrespecting your fellow sorcerer because you can never keep your dirty hands to yourself,” before Satoru could defend himself, he’s already all over you, his hand tilting your chin side to side to check for any injuries. “Are you hurt anywhere? Did this bastard do anything else?”

“No, not really—”

“Why do you care so much, Nanamin?” Satoru teases, and the students all huddle to watch the commotion. Everyone can feel the tension rising, and Nanami only stiffens up further when he feels you lean closer to his warmth almost absentmindedly. “She and I were just playing around, no hard feelings, no foul play. We’re just having fun, right, Y/N?”

“She is not someone you can just have fun with, Satoru. You’ve already crossed the line when you ditched her on your first date, and you didn’t even bother texting or calling back when I drove her home. It’s disrespectful, and she deserves better than that.”

“Nanami—”

“I was busy,” Satoru sighs dramatically, “And if she deserves better than me, then who would it be? I can take care her of her, you know, she and I have been besties for like what, a year now? I’ll be good to her,” he smirks, and Nanami wants nothing more than to punch him square in the jaw. “Besides, it’s not like she’s dating anyone else. She’s single and ready to mingle—”

“Maybe she is, but I’m not,” Nanami deadpans, his harsh tone shocking everyone.

“Wh-what do you mean?” you squeak under him, and Nanami falls silent. He’s never thought of confessing to you, especially not this way, and Nobara is biting Yuuji’s jacket behind them to muffle her squeals. Panda is clapping his hands and whispers oh, here we go, followed by Toge’s salmon salmon.

It dawns on him now that everyone knows he likes you after all, and now that he’s confronted with the situation, he can’t run away from it. Not that Nanami plans on running away, for he is a man and his pride doesn’t allow him to evade situations like this.

He just wishes it could’ve gone out better.

“Forgive me if this makes you uncomfortable,” Nanami releases his grip on you, loosening his tie that makes him feel like he’s choking both on air and his words. Through his cool stature, he’s actually sweating inside his clothes, and it doesn’t help you’re patient with him too, head tilted to the side curiously and so horribly cutely he might combust. “But I have always been, and I still am, utterly in love with you.”

Nobara and Yuuji no longer hold back as they scream to themselves, the former slapping the latter in his back while Megumi only shakes his head, muttering “about time,” under his breath. Maki snickers to herself and Satoru is stunned, but it’s nothing compared to the way you shrink under his gaze for a moment.

He believes you’re going to run away from him because of his blatant confession; it wasn’t romantic at all, and the kids are still screaming too loudly for him to form coherent thoughts.

Nanami begins to form a deep bow, ready to apologize wholeheartedly and to politely ask you to forget this if you wish – he would respect your decision. But just as his gaze met the ground, he’s thrown off balance as you jump on him, soft glossy lips crashing into his.

The screams and cheers of everyone are suddenly drowned out when he feels your lips molding onto his, and he can feel you smiling happily, giggling while his hands tentatively run down your hips to hold you close. It’s unprofessional, displeasing, and downright horrendous to be kissing someone during work hours while the students are watching, especially because his clothes are crumpled from your eager touch and you’re on top of his chest, but Nanami absolutely doesn’t give a single fuck because he’s kissing you back fervently.

It’s what he’s always wanted – you’re the one he’s always wanted, and now that he has you in his hold, he’s not easily letting you go.

“See? I told you guys,” Satoru proudly puffs his chest up in the background, “All Nanamin needs is a little push.”