#it reminded me of when i was a little girl and how I'd sing my heart out to this

[icanseethefuture333]

I am emotionally in shambles 💔

[auroralwriting]

false god

spencer reid x fem!reader (18+)

religion's in your lips. even if it's a false god, we'd still worship this love. inspired by false god by taylor swift. it is recommended you listen while you read, but not required

word count: 2.0k

warnings: sooo very 18+, where to begin heated makeout, soft and rough, switch!spence, switch!reader, smut, p-in-v, unprotected sex (don't do that), oral (fem rec), body worshipping, sort of porn without a plot, no use of y/n, very light choking, implied season nine-ish spencer, light hair tugging, multiple orgasms, praise, plot after porn, aftercare, fluff

Spencer thought you looked absolutely darling all dressed up for him. He loved when you did that. Anytime he took you out, you always dressed up to match the occasion.

Tonight was no different. Your little red slip dress and heels made you look like a pure angel sent down from heaven to grace him. He felt lucky to even breathe the same air as you, let alone date you.

The moment you'd arrived back to his apartment, his lips attached to yours eagerly. You shared the action, making sure to run your hands all over the top part of his body. His neck, chest, shoulders.

"You're the most transcendent, ethereal woman I've ever met." Spencer mumbled over your lips, the feeling of them ghosting over yours as he spoke sending shivers down your spine.

Your soft giggle in reply made Spencer feel like his legs turned into jelly. "You already won me over long ago, love. There's no need to try and win me over."

"I always want to win your heart, over and over again." Spencer replied, his touch ghosting over your cheek as he softly traced your skin. "I'm too lucky to not remind you every day that I'm so fucking grateful you choose me. You're too amazing to not be reminded of how gorgeous you are." Lips reattached as Spencer's hand began to ghost touches down your spine, causing you to arch into him. "I'm not a religious man in any sense, but I'd let you lead me with blind faith."

"Spencer," you groaned. "I need you."

Spencer pushed you against the wall, a soft thud from your body, but his hand was behind your head to protect it from any harm. "You're gonna get me, pretty girl. Let me have my time with you."

You felt encaged by his arms, leaving you nowhere to go even if you wanted to leave, which you didn't. Spencer’s lips trailed down your jaw, soft scratches from his teeth were soothed over by his tongue as you grasped for the back of his neck, drawing him impossibly closer to your body. His lips traveled to the low cut of your dress as he took his time observing you.

“This dress is beautiful,” Spencer remarked, “but it needs to come off.” Grabbing your hand, he lead you to the bedroom. His hands now at your hips, he sat you down and slowly knelt to the floor. With gentle hands, he began to take off your heels for you, kissing your legs as he worked. The action made your heart sing and your cunt ache.

“Such a gentleman,” You softly teased, grabbing the collar of his dress shirt lightly and pulling him back up to you. “Have I told you how much I like your shorter hair?”

Spencer gave a soft smile, “Seven times, this one being the eighth.”

“Well, I mean it every single time.” you replied.

“I know,” Spencer kicked off his shoes as you situated yourself back against the bed, propping yourself up on your elbows. “Now, what was I about to do?”

Spencer’s teasing made you slightly frustrated, although you loved it too much to make him stop. “Take off my dress,” You half pleaded, half answered.

“That’s right, thank you, baby.” Spencer reached behind you to drag the zipper down your body. Once done, his fingers slowly made their way to the small straps, pulling them off your shoulders. The dress sagged, the top falling below your breasts. Spencer was urgent with his next movements, kissing greedily around your chest as you gripped his hair. “Oh, god, baby.” Spencer groaned. He loved it when you pulled his hair.

“You’re wearing too many clothes,” You commented, tugging on his tie. Spencer nearly ripped his dress shirt, jacket, and tie off, along with his belt. “Thats better,” you smiled.

After another sweet kiss, Spencer began his previous actions, and slowly began to drag the dress off your body. You reached down to unbutton his pants, and he pushed them over his hips and kicked them off. You nearly made a joke about how you both matched finally, but Spencer was too eager to taste you.

Panties pulled down to your ankles, Spencer began kissing your thighs. “You’re so pretty. Every part of you, you’re so pretty.” He mumbled praises as he kissed you. “Love your body, love you.”

“Spence,” You whined, slowly raising your hips in desperation.

“I know, baby. I know, I got you.” Spencer assured. “Jus’ too pretty.”

After another minute of praises from the man, he pressed a hot kiss on your core. Slowly, his tongue dragged its way from your opening to your clit. A breathy, messy moan spilled from your lips, teetering Spencer’s last bit of self-control. He sucked on your clit, lapping around it with kitten licks like a madman. Your back arched as he grabbed your ankles, pushing them to his back to wrap you around him. “Oh, baby, oh,” you moaned.

“Taste so good,” Spencer praised as he inserted a finger into you, steadily pumping it. “You’re divine, angel. Absolutely divine.”

“More, please baby,” You called out, Spencer obliging to your need. He added a second finger, beginning to curl them right where you needed them the most. “Oh! Spencer!”

Spencer looked up at your with hazy eyes, “There, baby? Right there?”

“Fuck, right there!” You nodded, one hand grabbing the bed cover and the other tangling in Spencer’s free hand.

For Spencer, you looked like a creature straight from stories he’d read, or like some perfect girl made just for him. He loved the way your body reacted to him, how it felt like you were the only girl for him.

Spencer leaned down once more, lapping at your clit. “Oh, please don’t stop, please, please,” The begs tumbled from your lips, even if you knew Spencer wouldn’t stop. “‘S so good, so good,”

“Are you gonna come, baby?” Spencer asked, feeling your cunt tighten around his fingers. Hearing your reply, Spencer looked up to you. “Let go, sweet girl. Come for me,”

With one last harsh suck to your clit and a deep curl on his fingers, your orgasm hit you as Spencer watched, loving the way your face morphed from pleasure. He helped you ride it out, coaxing you back into reality.

“Good girl, so, so good for me.” Spencer leaned up to kiss you, softly smoothing down your hair as he did so.

“Spence, I wanna ride you.” Your words were words of begging, but your tone was firm. Spencer nodded quickly, wetting his lips with his tongue as you both traded places. While he moved, he slipped his boxers off. “Ready?” You asked.

“Please,” Spencer replied, intertwining a hand with yours as you readied his cock. Slowly, you sunk down onto it, moans spilling from both of your lips.

You let go of Spencer’s hand to place both of your palms on his stomach, lifting your hips just halfway off, and then back down at a tantalizing pace. “You feel so good,” you moaned. “Oh, I love you.”

“I love you t- oh!” Spencer moaned as you changed pace, slamming yourself down a little bit harder than before. “Shit, baby,” Spencer babbled, “y-you, oh, god. So warm, so good.” Your pace was now hard, lifting yourself almost off and then all the way back down. Spencer was an absolute mess of a man, his words coming out as babbles and incoherent, unstrung thoughts. “Kiss, wanna kiss you!” Spencer called out.

He sat up and you pushed your lips against his as his hands toyed with your breasts once more. “You’re so deep,” You moaned as Spencer pulled back quickly.

“Baby, I’m gonna come,” He managed to say as you felt his cock twitch inside you. “God, I’m coming!” His load was hot and nearly brought you to another orgasm as well. Spencer let his head fall on your shoulder as he pressed gentle kisses there. “Lemme give you another one, please?” He asked, softly leaving a bite on your shoulder.

“Yes, yes please.” You replied.

Once again, you both were flipped. Spencer carefully inserted the head of his cock, leaving your hips rolling. His plan wasn’t to just fuck you, no, he had one more thing to do before he could properly fuck you. He grabbed one of the pillows and lifted your hips, placing them strategically under. Finally, he pushed in, the angle allowing him to hit deeper places. You cried out from pleasure as he began slamming into you at a brutal place.

“Baby, ‘s too much!” You cried.

“You got it, it’s okay,” Spencer grunted, unrelenting with his pace. “You can take it, come on.”

For a moment, you thought you could take it, until his fingers found your clit again. It was still so sensitive from your last orgasm, making you explode in pleasure. It made you feel hot, even more turned on, and so extremely eager to come.

Spencer quickly grabbed your hand, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles as his pace. “Good girl, taking me so well. So good, honey.” Spencer praised.

After another minute of this, you genuinely were unable to form words. Moans spilled from your lips, along with broken vowels your brain was trying to form into words and sentences.

This was Spencer’s favorite thing to do. He made such soft love to you, but he loved to watch you go brain dead from his cock. He loved the way you drifted away because of him. Not for the power, no, but because he was the only one who could make you feel this good, and you both knew it.

Your words failed you as you tried to communicate that you were approaching your orgasm again. You gave a tight squeeze to Spencer’s hand, and he knew exactly what you were telling him.

“Come on, baby. Give me one more, just one more. Show me how good I make you feel.” Spencer urged as you felt yourself release for the second time of the night.

It was like you’d transcended to a whole new existence, only being brought back when you felt Spencer’s lips press small kisses to your cheek. You opened your eyes, immediately locking them with his.

“There’s my sweet girl,” Spencer lazily stroked circles on your cheek with a smile. “You okay?”

“Perfect,” you confirmed. “You’re so perfect.”

Spencer lightly laughed an exhausted, airy laugh. “Is now a good time to ask you if you wanted to move in with me?”

You smiled, “Ask me.”

“Please move in with me?” Spencer asked.

“How could I ever say no to you?” You answered as Spencer kissed you gently. “But we are not doing that now.”

Looking at the clock, Spencer sat you against the headboard. “You stay here, I’ll bring you some clothes and a makeup wipe. You just rest, love.” Spencer pressed a kiss to your head as you squeezes his hand, letting him retrieve your items.

Once he came back, already him his pajamas, he helped you change into yours which were just his clothes. As you removed your makeup, be carefully brushed through your hair to remove any and all tangles from your passionate sex.

You laid next to him in your newly-shared bed. The warm light from his nightstand illuminated both your faces perfect as you trailed a finger over his face with a feather light touch. Spencer just closed his eyes and sighed, sinking into your touch.

“I love you,” you said.

“I love you so much,” he replied.

The light clicked off, and together, you drifted to sleep, knowing you both were the luckiest people in the world.

[bunnys-kisses]

hii, could I order a croissant, a mince pie, and an iced tea served by toto? (maybe with brown or horner reader:)

thank you, honey🤍

bakery menu

welcome to the bakery! how can i take your order? want to submit your own order, then hit up the menu! i'd love to hear from you!! as for this lovely anon, i changed one thing. that it wasn't an accidental launching of the relationship. but rather toto did it on purpose! (oops), i hope you love the fic

croissant ("i wonder if your father knows what happens during the off hours. if he knows you're here with me.") + mince pit ("i'm not jealous) + iced tea (accidental launching relationship) served by toto wolff (formula one)!

cw: smut/pwp, age gap (20s/50s), size difference, zac brown!reader, launching relationships, roadside sex, car sex, cow girl position

toto sipped his drink and watched you from a short distance. the drink was sour in his mouth as he watched you talk to your father. you had always been a daddy's girl. he knew first hand how that manifested itself.

your daddy issues were so painfully clear cut, he didn't know why you would question how you ended up with them. your father was zak brown and yet you went home with toto wolff. if you were all royalty, this would count as treason and your two nations would go to war.

but this was formula one, and while it was different. toto still shouldn't have been bedding you for several months now. even now as he watched you chat with your father over drinks, toto wanted to undress you and kiss every inch of soft skin.

your father be damned.

it was after a night of drinking and toto was more than happy to take your keys away and drive you home himself. you could grab your car tomorrow, tonight toto needed to make sure that you were okay.

"thanks for doing this, toto." zak said as he shook the other man's hand.

toto nodded, he would play the shining knight. at least until he got you into his flat for the night. you looked nicer in toto's bed than you ever did your own. too many stuffed animals all over yours. he said to your father, "it's not a big deal, zak. it's better someone drive her than she drive herself."

zak chuckled, "i remember drinking that much at her age. it would kill me now." he laughed, "i bet you remember those times!" sometimes toto was reminded that he was your father's age almost to the t.

but as you once said to him, 'sucking your cock is cheaper than therapy.' as you filed your pretty nails that he would later pay to get painted.

you were soon at your father's side and laughing, "who's taking me home?" then looked to toto then your father, "he's taking me home?"

zak chuckled and looked at you, "yes. you'll be nice to mister wolff, right? no getting sick in his car?"

you nodded dumbly and smiled at toto once more, the smile was knowing and it made toto hot all over. you said to your father, "of course! thank you daddy, i'll text you when i get home!" then kissed your father on the cheek.

little did zak brown know. little did he know.

"you're jealous. you're jealous!" you said in a sing-song tone to toto once you were out of the venue, "you're jealous of my dad!" you giggled and rested against him as he brought you to his expensive car.

"i'm not jealous" he replied as he opened the car doors and got you inside. even buckled you in and you reached for him cutely to place kisses all over his face. if freud were alive, he'd be gawking at this moment. toto closed your door and then got into the car on the driver's side.

before his door was closed, your hands were all over his face. feeling the masculine nature of his features. those dark eyes, that strong jaw, that nose of his. it all excited you as you tried to get your hands all over him. you were like an insatiable puppy who demanded kisses.

he held onto the back of your hair to keep some distance between the two of you. he looked at your lips and sighed, "i wonder if your father knows what happens during the off hours. if he knows you're here with me."

you pouted a little, "my daddy has no idea."

"maybe he should find out at some point." all toto knew was that if his phone went missing, there was a folder with so many photos of you in various states of undress and redress. from your pretty pussy on display to a heavy skiing jacket when you went on vacation with some 'friends' (it was toto). he knew if he ever sold them, he could make a healthy dollar. but he'd never do that. he had a hard enough time with you wearing a two-piece swimsuit around your friends.

soon toto was driving and his hand was on your thigh. slowly he inched up that skirt until his long fingers were in between your thighs, just over the waistband of the poor excuse you called panties. a lacy white number that toto bought for you.

"you wore them."

"only for you."

"did anyone else see them?"

you looked at toto with the cutest expression that fell naturally on your face. you smiled at him, still a little drunk, "of course, daddy. only the best for you."

the road you were on was quiet and toto had no choice but to pull over. he couldn't very well send you back to your cute little apartment without a pussy full of his cum. not when you were giving him such delicate looks. you were already heated and toto wanted you between his teeth.

with the car lights off, you could only maneuver yourself in the dark as toto leaned back the driver's seat to let you onto his lap. he undid his belt and his cock out of his slacks. your panties were over the back of the passenger's seat for safe keeping (they'd be lost).

in the dark you managed to find his cock and sink yourself down on it. your eyes went wide for a moment from the stretch of his cock settling inside of you. you shuddered and your inebriated mind made everything feel heightened.

"you're going to be a good girl for daddy?" he asked. he wanted to show you off to the world. show zak brown that he didn't have that tight of a grip on you. that you were a woman and you were dating a man. and there was nothing that fucker could do.

you might be brown's daughter but you were toto's baby girl. once again, daddy issues sprouted their ugly heads into the back of your mind as you rode the older man. he pushed the skirt of your dress up and kissed at your neck.

the car rocked a little bit from your movements and you panted heavily. the windows fogged up on the quiet back road. toto's hands switched from your breasts to your hips then back to your breasts when he groped them with those paws he called hands. they were huge, it was intimidating. you still didn't know how those digits managed to fit into your poor pussy.

he licked his lips as your held onto his hair, he then pressed kisses up against your heated skin. he felt the heat in his gut as he pressed kisses at your skin. his hands were eventually full of the softness of your hips as he guided your faster up and down his cock.

you panted heavily before you pulled his hair to get him to face you where you made out with him once more. you whimpered between kisses a simple, 'daddy.' and it made toto hot all over. your back arched as you really worked at his length.

you felt the sweat cause your dress to stick to your back and you make up to run a little around the edges. toto thought you looked beautiful, like a debauched little princess. all because of him. wasn't that something? that zak brown's daughter was riding toto without a car, in a semi public space. anyone could drive by and snap a photo. wouldn't that make headlines.

he held onto you tighter and started to move you faster on top of him. your noises were loud as the car rocked to your movements. and toto felt himself get so close to orgasm.

but you were first. you held onto your lover tightly and whimpered, "daddy" as you felt yourself climax. your back arched with your head almost hitting the roof of the car.

but toto kept you close to him. there was nothing that could hurt that (empty) little head of yours. not while toto wolff was still breathing. you felt so good against him even when you went a little limp against him. but he continued to work your hips against him, he buried his cock in you as deep as it would go.

your noises soon turned pathetic and the car reeked of sex. eventually toto finished inside of you with one last heavy thrust. he spilled himself into you. not that you cared, sometimes toto wondered if you enjoyed the risk of him finishing inside of you. that maybe you'd be mostly wolff dna if he came into you enough times. and toto was happy to comply because that meant you'd eventually have toto's baby at your hip. but that was for later. right now he had to get you alert enough to get into the passenger seat so he can get you home.

"come on. pull down that dress a little and get yourself seated."

-

you woke up the next morning in your bed to a flurry of messages, a full voice mail inbox and even fifteen emails from various people within your network. through bleary, sleepy eyes you basically made out one thing. check social media.

upon opening the app, any tiredness was zapped from your body and you felt hyper away. your eyes went wide when you saw toto's page, the newest photo wasn't of the cars or the tracks or anything. it was you in his apartment in monaco in one of his shirts (with no bra given that you could see your nipples through the fabric) looking not at the camera but at the book on the history of mercedes that he kept on the coffee table. you knew the exact moment that was taken... and now the rest of the world wanted to know every detail about your little love affair with toto.

especially your father, who was calling your for the fifty-first time that morning. there was a lot of explaining to do. <3

[dira333]

This Is Me Trying - Kageyama x Reader

there's one line missing that I'd have loved to include but I am still pretty okay with how this turned out instead.

Tagging: @alienaiver for helping, @screamin-abt-haikyuu and @lees-chaotic-brain for Haikyuu

“Where’s Kageyama?”

The rest of the team turns at Hinata’s question, but their first-year setter is nowhere to be seen. 

“Not this again,” Daichi mutters in frustration, thinking back to Hinata’s missing shoes the day before. “We’ve got twenty minutes before our next game. I want us to all go in teams. Hinata, you’re with me. I cannot have you get lost as well.”

- Meanwhile -

“How long have you been playing volleyball? Who taught you? How long have you been a setter? How do you train? Do you get along with your team members? Have you ever hit a wall?”

“Huh?” You turn to the guy creeping up behind you, a bag clutched in his hands as he stares you down. Your teammates are sending both of you curious looks and you can tell that your Captain is just a second away from interfering.

“Can I help you?” You ask, surprised when he flinches away, stuttering. 

“I- am… I am Kageyama Tobio.” He bows so abruptly and so deeply that you fear for his spine. “I saw you play yesterday.”

“Ah?” You blink. “What school are you from?”

“Karasuno.”

“Oh,” you blink again. “I saw you play as well. You’re their setter. What year are you in?”

“First. Your serve-”

“Alright, alright.” You pull him to the side by his arm and wave at your Captain before she can do something more drastic. “I have to say your drive is admirable, but you’re not the first person to ask for my secrets. Why would I tell you?”

Kageyama considers that for a second, brows furrowing. He’s really not good at making his face work for him. It might look cute though, if he relaxed a little. 

“I wanna stay on the court the longest,” he declares, face set in a scowl that could turn milk sour.”

“Again, you’re not the only one. You gotta impress me a little more, Kageyama-kun.” You snip two fingers against his temple, watch him almost short-circuit at the sensation.

To your surprise, Kageyama bows again.

“I want to spend more time playing with this team. I am not good with people. You are good with people. I need to learn more.”

“Fine,” you tell him after a second. “Gimme your phone.”

He doesn’t stop watching you as you type in your number. “If you win today as well, you can send me details about your play. Don’t forget to tell me where you’re staying. I’ll come by and we’ll talk about it, okay? Can’t promise it will help, though.”

“Kageyama!” Someone yells at that moment, and he turns to find two guys waving at him. One of them has a shaved head, the other has a bleached strand of hair sticking up like a lightning strike.

“Good luck,” you tell him, patting his shoulder. Kageyama leaves with one last look back at you.

“You’re in trouble!” Shaved head sings as he joins them. “Daichi’s mad as hell, looking for you. All because of a cute girl?”

“I didn’t- She isn’t-” He looks back as if to check, blushing bright red when he spots you still looking at him. “I wanted to know more about her technique, that’s all.”

Both guys laugh loudly. “You really are something else, Kageyama.” The guy with the Lighting Strike declares and then they’re gone.

“Why did you give him your number?” Your libero asks when you join the team again. “Aren’t you afraid he’s going to murder you for your skin?”

“No,” You laugh softly. “He reminded me of someone, that’s all.”

Karasuno wins. So do you. 

No one pays you any mind when you slip out of the hotel you’re staying in, jogging down the streets to where Kageyama’s team is staying.

“Oh,” Shaved Head spots you at the front door. “You’re the cute girl Kageyama found.”

“I am,” you grin, “I’m looking for him. Is he around?”

“Kageyama!” He hollers down the hallway. “Uh, he’s in the bathroom, I think. I’m Tanaka by the way. What team are you playing in?”

“Niiyama,” you explain and his eyes light up. “No way, you’re playing with Kanoka.”

“Exactly. You know her?”

“Yeah, we’re childhood besties. So, you won today, right?”

“Yep. Don’t know if she told you, but we’re thinking about making Kanoka Captain next year.”

“You are. Wow. Does she know alrea-” “I’m here!” Kageyama declares from the door, wet hair sticking to his flushed face. 

“Oh, you showered already?” You ask, “I thought we could do a run-”

“Right away,” Kageyama declares, already slipping into the shoes by the door.

“Forget it, hotshot,” you put a hand on his shoulders and drag him away, “not when your hair is still wet. You’re going to get a cold. It’s fine, it’s fine, we can still work without running around.”

And you do. Even though you have to pretend you don’t notice every single member of his team walking by, peeking into the little lobby, trying to catch parts of your conversation with him.

Kageyama, however, will not let himself get distracted. He’s sucking up every word you say and, as soon as you’ve figured out how he thinks, is able to discuss ideas with you at an impressive rate.

“So…” You lean back a little after almost an hour, ignoring the little red-haired guy who’s sitting at the door, listening in. “What are your plans? Do you want to become Captain in your Third Year? Make it to Nationals every Year? Play professionally after High School or go to College first?”

“I don’t have good grades,” Kageyama points out. “I just want to stay on Court for as long as possible. Play my best.”

“Hmmm,” you get up. “Tell you what. You have my number. Make it through these Nationals and go back home. Let me know how you’re feeling next school year, okay?”

“Okay.” He shakes your hand and bows deeply, staying far too long in the open doorway, looking after you as you leave.

You don’t feel you’ve done a lot for him today. You just listened, explained a few things, told him about your perspective.

But he’s acting like you’ve changed his world and you wonder if you did. And if so, in what way…

Kageyama’s sleeping on your bedroom floor.

Your mother would throw a fit if she knew, but she’s gone for the weekend and Kageyama took the three-hour train ride in stride just to spend a weekend training with you.

College Volleyball isn’t much different from High School Volleyball, except for the harsher course load. 

He’d been updating you weekly with the teams and his own progress, updates coming in more often when it turned out that the team had problems adapting to the new Captain, or rather, the lack of their old. 

“You miss Sugawara,” you point out only half an hour after he’s arrived. 

He looks surprised at first, but then easily gives in.

“I’m still not good at connecting with my teammates.”

“Have you tried the exercises that I gave you?”

He scowls and you laugh. “Come on, Kageyama, I know you’re better than that. Practice with me, then.”

Stiffly, he turns his head. “How are you doing lately?”

You laugh again, louder this time. “You’ve got to work on your expressions, but I’m doing okay, I guess. I don’t have that much time for training because of College, so I feel like I’m falling behind.”

Kageyama falls quiet and you nudge your elbow into his side.

“This is your chance to say ‘I’m sorry to hear that. Can I do something for you?’”

“Why did you go to College if it takes away time from playing Volleyball?” He asks instead and you stop, surprised by his question.

“Because I want something to fall back on if I can’t make it in Volleyball. What if I get hurt? What if I no longer want to play?”

Kageyama scowls. “Why would you want to stop playing?”

“What are you going to do when you’re too old to play professionally?” You ask back and he falls quiet. For the remainder of your run, he’s unreachable to you. Whatever he’s thinking about, he’s far, far away.

“What am I supposed to do instead?” He asks eventually, bangs hiding his eyes.

You’re stretching and he follows your movements, intent on copying you, as usual. As if you have all the answers in the world.

“Tell me about your Childhood, Tobio,” you ask instead.

That’s how you end up, him sleeping on your bedroom floor and you craving nothing more than to pick him up and hug him so tight that all the loneliness drains out of him.

You’re no stranger to grief, but it’s so different when you have to watch someone you care about in its clutches.

Karasuno doesn’t make it to the Nationals in their second year. Tobio still gets invited to this Year’s Youth Camp and you make sure to take that weekend off, taking the same train so you can sit next to him for three of his eight-hour ride, listening to him ramble on about school, Hinata, Volleyball. 

“You’re going to do great,” you tell him, wondering how it happened that you’re now feeling this way. As if he punctured your heart and crawled inside, making it his home without realizing it.

Third-Year Tobio is a heartbreaker. 

He tells you about the confessions he gets with the naivety of someone much younger. Every single time you have to force yourself to ask “And what did you answer?” only to hear that he’s declined, yet again.

You wonder what he’s thinking of you. You’re still a Star Setter, but do you have anything left to teach him? You think Sugawara did a way better job at that anyway. 

But he still makes the three-hour ride at least once every two months, sleeping on your bedroom floor when your mom is away for the weekend. 

One time you take his hand in a crowded train station and he doesn’t let go.

If only you could let yourself have this. 

But does he even think about you that way?

X

“Sugawara-senpai?” Kageyama asks, phone pressed hard against his ear. “What do you wear on a sleepover?”

He sits amidst his things, a volleyball in his lap.

“Pajamas, usually. Why do you ask?”

“Even if it’s with a girl?”

Sugawara sounds like he’s choking.

“A sleepover with a girl? Boy, you’re- wait, who are you sleeping at?”

Kageyama says your name with the familiar feeling of pride that comes with it.

He was the one who approached you and he’s the one who still gets to text and call you, visit you even. Not Hinata, who can make everyone like him, or Tsukishima, who’s somehow getting love confessions even though he’s an ass. 

“Well, it depends… on what you’ve already done together.”

“Done together?” Kageyama furrows his brows. “We’ve analyzed our games. And I get to play with her friends sometimes.”

“Kageyama.” Sugawara’s voice is serious. “I need to ask you this. Why are you sleeping over?”

“Because she lives far away and I can’t make both treks in one day.”

“I get that, but… why are you visiting her anyway? Just to get more tips?”

Kageyama halts for a second. “I… don’t know.”

“Mhm. Thought so. You know, most boys sleeping over at girls' houses have more than just Volleyball tips in mind.”

“She’s giving me tips on how to get along with my teammates as well,” He explains, but Sugawara just chuckles low in his throat.

“That’s not what I meant. I guess you know what it’s going to look like, right? That’s why you’re asking what to wear?”

Kageyama digs his knees into the floor of his room and bits down on his lip but the words still tumble out.

“I’ve never been on a sleepover before. One that’s not the whole team sleeping somewhere, I mean. I didn’t want to ask Hinata because he’s got so many friends and he might think-”

“Ah…” Sugawara interrupts him. “I get it. Don’t worry. We’ll go over this like we did with the topic of Smalltalk, okay? Basic steps first, then some finer things. Would that help?”

“Yes, thank you.”

Girl’s rooms look different than boy’s rooms, Kageyama knows.

His sister’s room is filled with pictures of celebrities, make-up, and accessories have driven out anything volleyball-related long ago.

Yachi’s room is colorful, with little designer pieces and cute stationery she likes to collect.

Yours is different altogether.

The prizes you won are proudly displayed, next to a collection of textbooks. There’s a bed and a small closet and you serve him tea on the floor of your room, giggling over the stories he tells from training.

Kageyama likes talking to you. Just like Sugawara, you never mind when his words come out more brash than they should, or when he can’t figure out how to word a question right. You’ve got kind eyes and a soft smile and you touch him more often than other people.

Telling you about his grandfather or his fear of ending up alone again - the words might not come easy, but you handle them gently, like it’s safe to let them rest with you.

You snore a little, he figures out that first night. The softest sound he wants to never forget.

Sleeping over at a friend’s house is something he wants to do again and again, talking low in the darkness, knowing that someone who cares is just a short distance away.

When he has to leave you hug him goodbye. 

For the first time, he thinks he knows why people do it, this seemingly unnecessary ritual of enveloping each other.

For the first time, he thinks about not letting go.

But his train’s going to leave without him and you wave until the train station is out of sight. Kageyama likes to think you waved a little longer. Just because.

“Are you away this weekend, Kageyama?” Has become a regular question. 

Hinata’s no longer pestering him with questions about his private training sessions on the weekend. 

He’s getting better at working with the new First Years and a new invite for the National Youth Camp has him reach for the phone to call you.

He’s more nervous than last time and he wonders if it’s about you, sitting next to him on the train, legs pressed together on the small seats. 

You smell sweet and he wonders if he could hug, just like that, just because. 

Do people do that? Just hug for no reason but to touch? He should ask Sugawara about it.

“You’re going to do great,” you say and he wants to promise that he will, just for you.

But he doesn’t, because that would sound weird, wouldn’t it? 

After all, he’s so much younger than you. 

Do you even think about him in that way? The way he thinks about you?

Your hand fits perfectly in his.

Kageyama knows the taste of your favorite dessert and always has some money saved to buy you a flower or two at the train station before he gets to your house.

Sometimes, when you sleep, you mumble his name and he can hardly make himself fall asleep because he wants to hear it all, every quiet mention, mumble or snore.

You’re real and you like him, still.

“Are you coming?” He asks when they get through the Qualifiers; when he knows he will make it to the Nationals one last time with this team.

“Of course,” you say and his heart leaps into his throat. 

Kageyama almost tells you, then and there, that he thinks this might be love.

But it doesn’t feel right, over the phone like that, so he pulls the words back before they can spill from his lips.

He will tell you, he promises to himself after they win. This time, Karasuno will be the last one standing in Tokyo.

X

“Oh, you’re here as well,” a guy with greyish hair and a beauty mark beneath his eye waves at you, “We’re sitting over here.”

“Do I know you?” You ask, taking the offered seat nonetheless. The guy pouts and his friends laugh.

“I’m Sugawara,” he explains, “Kageyama’s Senpai. These two are Daichi and Asahi, not that you’d recognize them, right?”

You laugh. “No, guilty as charged. I don’t think I remember any names from your team besides Tanaka and Kageyama.”

“Someone called my name?” Tanaka jumps down the last two steps leading to your seats, grinning. “Kiyoko, they’re already here, Babe.” He waits for his girlfriend to take a seat before leaning in. 

“You’re Kageyama’s girlfriend, right?”

“Oh, it’s not- I…” You wave your hands around awkwardly, not knowing what to say. Tanaka laughs.

“Ah, I knew it, I knew it. No way he’s got that much game. But he’s got lots of talent, don’t you think.”

“He does,” you take the offered topic, lament about their Kohai’s talents for over half an hour until the players finally arrive, warming for their first game. More of Karasuno’s former players have gathered around you, as well as a taiko drum group.

Sugawara lets out a shrill whistle using two fingers and most of the Karasuno players look up, obviously used to the signal.

You wave, hoping against hope that Tobio will be able to pick you out of the crowd.

From this distance, it’s hard to tell, but that frown could mean he’s smiling. Sugawara starts to point at you exaggeratedly and you slap his hands away but it’s too late. 

Tobio has already turned away.

He doesn’t play well at the beginning. Everyone notices.

It takes him a while to find his grove but when he does, he does.

Then it’s over and you wish to do nothing more but to run down and hug him. But it’s safer up here, you know, where your heart won’t leap out of your throat.

But then you have to leave, get up, and move, because the Niiyama Girls are playing in the other hall and you promised you’d watch their game too, knowing that it would sync up perfectly with Karasuno’s rest period.

“I’m going to be back for the next game,” you promise, “so don’t give my seat away.”

Your heart still hammers in your chest as you walk down the staircase.

If only you could keep these moments, locked up in a mason jar, take them out on bad days to relive them again.

“Are you leaving already?” Tobio’s looking up at you, sweat slick hair sticking to his temple, face flushed from exertion.

“I’m just moving to the other stadion to watch the Niiyama Girls,” you explain, pull him in for a hug when you reach him. “You were amazing.”

“Thank you,” his hot breath tickles your neck and maybe you’re imagining it, but you think you feel his heart racing through the thin jersey.

“Your start was messy though,” you reprimand him, your hand moving on its own to shuffle through his hair, putting each strand back where it belongs. “But you saved your ass. I’m going to be back for your next game, don’t worry.”

“I could come with you,” he rushes out. “It doesn’t really matter where I rest, right?”

You catch a look from Karasuno’s captain over Tobio’s shoulder. A smile dances over his freckled face and he makes a face that tells you everything you need to know.

“Fine,” you tell him, knowing that a ‘No’ would never work here, “But you should put on a jacket.”

His hand finds yours on the way to the other game, his grip warm and strong.

You don’t want to ever let go, but you still do, knowing full well how it would look like to your Kouhai’s. You’ve never had a boyfriend in the whole time you played with them. 

And even though the first years still remember Tobio showing up back then, you don’t want to give them any ideas that might come back to break your heart.

“You and Sugawara-senpai,” Tobio starts as soon as you’re sitting, “did you get along well?”

“I guess so,” your leg is pressed against his, the sensation shooting up your spine and into your brain. “He’s nice.”

“How nice?” He asks, voice so low you almost miss it.

You blink. The words are out before you’ve thought them through.

“Are you jealous, Tobio?”

“Should I be?”

You’re not sure how he means it. Teasing? Or is he unsure of this social construct, asking for an explanation?

He takes your hand, looks at it as if checking for injuries. “Would you hold my hand if Sugawara was here as well?”

Your mouth turns dry.

“Would I be allowed?” You ask. “I mean, I’m a lot older than you-”

“I like you.” He blurts it out like he blurts out most things. Two guys in front of you turn around with matching frowns. You’re sure they didn’t come here to hear your love confessions.

“We should talk about this later,” you whisper, cheeks burning. You press his hand. “I like you too, don’t worry.”

“Can’t we talk now?”

And maybe it would have been better to slip out and talk about it, but you’ve never once missed a minute of a game you wanted to see and Tobio’s hand doesn’t leave yours, his grip warm and heavy, his leg pressing into yours.

There’s much to talk about after this game ends and all the other ones today. There’s graduation and other things to consider, but you can’t help but think that it will be okay.

As long as his hand stays in yours, it will be okay.

“Where’s Kageyama?”

You turn to spot Sugawara looking through the crowd.

“Bathroom,” you explain. “I think he had a bit too much to drink.”

“Ah,” Sugawara smiles. “Haven’t had the time to properly talk to you today. How are you? How’s work doing?”

“Good and good. Our last match-”

“I know,” Sugawara smiles. “Kageyama tells me everything. He still calls every week to update me. He spent an hour boasting about that game.”

“Oh,” you blink, a little surprised and a lot flattered. “Wait, is that when he locks himself in our pantry for half an hour each Friday?”

Sugawara laughs. “He’s been asking for my advice for years and I don’t think he’s going to stop soon. I thought you knew, actually.”

“Well, I knew you taught him a lot concerning Volleyball, but this sounds like you did a lot more. Tell me the details, Sugawara-san.”

Sugawara grins cheekily, checking to see if Tobio’s still nowhere to be seen.

“When he spent the weekend at your place for the first time he asked me all kinds of questions. I’m the one who picked out the sleepwear he brought. He usually slept only in boxers or nothing at all depending on the temperature.”

You feel the heat rising to your cheeks. “I see. Thank you’s are in order.”

“Uhuh,” Sugawara winks. “Nothing to thank me for. You two deserve each other.”

“That just sounded mildly threatening,” you joke just as Tobio returns, threading his arm through yours.

“What are you talking about?”

“Your weekly talks with Sugawara-san,” you lean into him. “And the fact that you only wear sleepwear because of him.”

Tobio blushes a soft red. “You said you liked my Volleyball Pajamas.”

“I do. They are adorable.”

Tip me?

[m1ssunderstanding]

Midas Man Reaction

I watched this using a google drive version from @skydiamonded thank you, thank you!

Spoilers under the cut!!!

Weird looking at this guy and trying to tell myself he's Brian. He's a very Brian type of guy but still he's not Brian. 

I do love the first person narration and the instantly shattered fourth wall.

I love seeing his Jewish faith and culture in a way that wasn't publicly as prominent when he was alive. 

Honestly didn't know adding a significant record store to their furniture store was Brian's idea. I'm looking every new thing I learn up because biopics can be very misleading, but this is fun!

I am absolutely Reveling in the contrast between crisp, classy Brian and the squalor of the cavern. So good! 

Guys I'm a sucker for this stuff. John comes on stage swigging something talking in awful German and then there's Paul whoring it up flirting having a personal conversation with some girl in the crowd. And the John/Paul banter! I'm falling for it so hard. 

(John girls I will give it to you, you guys got shafted with the looks of this actor)

Same, Brian. I get it. I'd be in love with them too. 

The incessant mocking of his posh accent Thank You!

Paul's face. I've definitely seen this irl. He loves watching John do his acerbic wit thing. Reminds me of that one quote that basically said Paul used John's cruelty to his own advantage. 

The confidence of Brian just deciding to be a manager. The actor is doing such a good job of capturing that duality in Brian of part timid awkwardness part brazen optimism. 

The Spain dialogue! How can they tease that and not include the trip?!?! Also John dropping Hemingway and Brian's pleasant surprise. Just you wait, Brian. 

“My Gran takes pills for that” genuinely got me.

The way they look at each other is accurate even if John doesn't look a thing like himself

“I think you're special. I think you'll go all the way. And I promise I will look after you.” Whether Brian said it that way out loud at the time or not it's what he felt. And that was so so important. They needed someone to say that and mean it so badly. Look how he's looking at them!

“Like family. Only better. No secrets from each other.” Break my fucking heart not even twenty minutes in why don't you? Brian you deserved to live in the future. I'm so sorry you had to be put here in the time you were.

I will say the makeover breaks my heart. I get that it was necessary, but it hurts. 

Ringo's grey steak and his accent and his friendly tough older cousin demeanor!!!

You hear Paul singing as they drive up, fantastic. And the little shoulder pat as they go in, “alright Brian.” John's little line about the time jump is fun too. 

Pete's drumming is patently bad. Thank You!

The whole John railing on Brian and Paul telling him to leave off I think is probably accurate, but. With all the quotes I have in my documents about Paul actually being the one who gave Brian the most trouble, I have to wonder if we're going to see that complexity or if we're going to stick to the “mean John, nice Paul” stereotypes. 

But also Paul definitely does not stick up for Pete. (Who he also picked at much more than John irl) Anyway I love to see the strategic reigning in or letting loose of John's temper for me.

Again with the class contrasts!!! These fucking snobs talking down to Brian I can't. It's just another proof of the boys’ need for him and his management. And not just because he's socially higher than them, but can you see John handling that shit well? No. That ass hat would get decked. 

The pride with which he says “My boys” to those douchebags after all of that!!!

“Asked you and Daddy for a car” is a great line.

I got so scared when that guy came up so suddenly like that because I know how violent some of those encounters were. It breaks my heart for him. 

And then the pills. It got so cold so fast. 

Those secretaries should be in charge of those record companies is what I'm getting here. 

I knew he was going to lie and say that he got them the contract. I wonder if he did irl. Something else I'll have to look up but it does make sense with what I know of Brian. He just loves them so so much. “I can't bear their disappointment when they feel I've let them down.” 

The George actor overdoes the accent a bit but I really love the facial expressions. I've seen that one a million times. 

Also love that John and Paul are facing each other. Very nice. 

No one is going to hold a candle to the actual Paul's voice but what are you going to do? 

They've got Paul's need for John's approval right though. John's already said all sorts of positive things and Paul's immediately fishing for more.

Yes! Paul is George Martin's very special favorite baby boy and it would be wrong to play it otherwise. 

I should've said this before but it's driving me crazy in this scene. Why is George's hair significantly lighter than John's? 

Interesting that it doesn't even show Brian talking to the others about sacking Pete. 

“It's my sound. They're all doing it now. Ringo.” What is this bullshit? Insinuating Ringo copied Pete's sound? Why did they put that in there? Ew, take it out!

Look at him, already so at ease and happy. I love you, Ringo! 

See I knew it was going to get more violent. Ugh it twists my stomach. And his poor terrified face when the guy says he knows him. He was so scared of his secret life having a negative affect on the boys career. And then Brian telling us straight to our faces about being brutally beaten and helping the man afterwards. It's cutting. Such a contrast from the upbeat, prideful Brian of many of the other camera-facing narrations. 

The sharp turnaround of Alastair overhearing the end of Brian's little aside here though! I love the way this movie is playing with perspective and curtains. Very much a nod to Brian's behind the scenes work on behalf of the biggest group in the history of the world. 

Love how the Beatles are annoyed that Brian doesn't offer any details about them when he's going through his lineup! Very clever, very them!

Cilla clearly knows Brian's gay and she's the first one that's made that clear. At least to me! Maybe the scene with the prellies and the Beatles teasing him about that was something. But she's the first where it's obvious she knows. And he's so moved that she's just casually okay with his sexuality.

Then we get him apologizing to his family right after. It's getting to the point where I'm like I don't know what there is to say. 

Paul being the class-conscious one. Very good, very good. 

John “might even swear” Brian “please don't” Paul “he won't” Okay I know where they're going with this it's obviously going to be the rattle your jewelry” line. But they're going with the stereotype here of Paul reigning John in when really he was backstage daring John to say it. 

Achhhh this does bug me. Okay I know I'm the most insufferable Paul girl and it's Brian's movie. But! John's little look to the side as he says that line is at Paul, not Brian. Because, like I said before, Paul had been egging him on, and he's like “see I'm doing it” 

The scene with Ed Sullivan in the burger joint is reminding me of the Elvis movie. And it's nice. If anyone else is reminded of that it'll be a stark contrast between Brian and the general or whatever his name is. 

So happy that he can connect with Nat in this way even though they're from completely different worlds in every way other than their Jewish backgrounds. 

Still overwhelmingly annoyed they took out the romance with John to invent this Tex character. For multiple reasons. It's just not the truth for one thing. For another, it's a less interesting story. Brian is less complicated. The romance is flatter. Not a fan. 

But. In one way it's nice that he gets to be in a less complicated real relationship. Unless this is going to be like the Tex from the comic book which doesn't end well at all :/. What am I saying of course it can't end well. Ugh. 

Ringo’s tummy troubles! Ringo calling John a posh puddin! Thank Fuck!

It is very much driving home the fact that they're a rare bright spot in his life. 

John starting the pillow fight all agro and then instantly backing off “now lads take it easy” we love the accuracy!

Oh. Colonel. I knew that. 

Another thing I'm going to have to look up. Did they really have to stop the show twice due to a jelly bean barrage? Actually so many fun details in this little narration. A fish truck? Really? You couldn't have chosen any other vessel? hashtag acab. 

“I” made it clear? They're saying it's Brian's decision they won't perform to segregated audiences? Mkay. He's fantastic enough with his actual progressive actions and ideals. You can give the boys some credit for their own actions without losing anything for Brian. 

Brian screaming with all the girls. Cute! I do just have to say this is a George Martin story. But I'm sure Brian did it at some point too.

That stings! Going from all this huge success Brian of Brian's to his dad looking proud, making a toast, and I assumed it must be a party in Brian's honor but no. It's his brother's wedding. 

Wait I'm confused now. Does Cilla not know? 

I do love that she's concerned for him and expressing that. Because we know the boys aren't going to do that. 

Poor baby he's absolutely elated that Tex is here.

I don't want to shame like I have read that Brian liked it rough although who knows if the writers of these statements are homophobes leaning into stereotypes of the time anyway there's obviously nothing wrong with rough sex. But I want Tex to be sweet and gentle with him because it looks like Brian is flinching and why wouldn't he be after what he's been through?

Also I hate that he's like “how can I get him to love me and stay with me etc” and he says he'll make him a star even though obviously he can't promise that and he's so so stretched thin already. 

Yep I hate Tex more and more. The yelling is awful holy shit.

Clearly Brian is only happy when he's with the Beatles. 

So this is them trying to put a little “vibe” between John and Brian? Having them have a "deep looking" discussion from a safe distance at a crowded party? Not really working imo.

But this is nice. I've seen this picture before. Look at cute cuddly Ringo. I adore that about him. For the one of them with the toughest background to be the most comfortable and easy with his affection. It's beautiful. 

What the fuck!!! Tex is openly just chatting up someone else at Brian's party and Brian sees him as he's bringing them drinks and just retreats like that's what he deserves. Somebody give this sweet man some actual love!

The stark contrast between the silly, upbeat -- hectic yes -- but happy 64 tour narration and this. It's almost black and white it's so dim and muted and though the music is slow, Brian is talking very very fast and the drinks and pills are much faster than last time too. 

Again. Interesting that it's presented as Brian who declined Marcos in the Philippines. “They grab the boys and they drag them away.” I've never heard an account say it was that bad, but maybe it was? I don't know, I think if it was, John and George would've said so at some point post break-up. 

This is very interesting cinematic work. I don't know shit about anything but it strikes me as a very interesting choice to make this terrible time gradually fade into extremely sharp colorless chaos. The cute little maps and cut aways to contextualizing scenery are gone and it’s just Brian panicking backed by silhouetted violence.

And then he forces himself to get it together, talks slower, straightens himself out, presumably because he does what he has to do to protect the boys. 

“Right. Are you coming in?” “Do you think that I would let you out of my sight, John?” It's so good. I hope this is what it was. 

Paul's protective press conference answer comes off a bit more "team player" than "angry boyfriend" for one reason. IRL he jumps in, on this occasion and many others, without being addressed at all. Here, they ask specifically for a comment from the other three and George's comment comes first. Annoying. But overall t's very well done. And Brian is so proud of them all for being so strong in the face of all this stupidity. 

I love that Brian is protective of them and supportive of their decision to stop touring. I wonder how much of a say they actually gave him in that. 

“The press misquotes them, they can't be themselves, and if you can't be yourself . . .” He's so sweet. This takes me back to the family without secrets thing at the beginning. It's all so “well I know how awful this or that can be so I'm going to spare them from that” 

I didn't know creme or the who were involved with Brian too. Another thing to look up! 

Thank goodness for Nat Weiss. If only he and Brian could've been together. 

I know it's not fair to expect too much of them with everything they were going through but I kind of hate all four Beatles right now. Brian crying about Paul not coming to a party and Paul's letter (well- meant that man had a very fucked up perspective on love and other complexities himself) about Brian just choosing not to be depressed is echoing in my head. 

Yes, Brian's shit father. There was something you didn't give your son. Only the most important thing there is. 

Eek they look so shockingly different. I wonder if it was that jarring for him. Why is it John that doesn't have the mustache? It was just Paul that had it, then the other three immediately followed, then just Paul that shaved it. Who knows what they're thinking here. Probably just didn't think about it, or maybe the John actor was just too hideous with a mustache?

“And I have a proposal.” “Brian, I do.” “Finally!” See, that dialogue could've worked so much better if they'd been truthful about the sexual side to John and Brian's relationship. 

“I think I'll be leaving the band now,” says George, at the mention of a film. I'm dead. 

Why is Ringo wearing tons of blush and eyeshadow? 

This little moment is great though just because it's John and Paul interested and participating in the direction of the band and George and Ringo along for the ride. 

The Paul actor did such a great job. His little giggle at John's dad joke is perfect. That's exactly what Paul sounds like.  

Why are they leaning so hard into George being the funny one in this movie? This whole movie it's him with the little quips. The phone thing is very Paul's humor though. Good, good. God I'm so annoyingly obsessed with him. 

It's very much leaning into the argument that Brian's death was accidental. I like to think that's the truth and there's certainly a strong case. The big plans with the Beatles and outside them too. The fact that his mother very much needed him after his father's death and he's got plans to take care of her. But there are also sources that say he was actually hospitalized due to suicide attempts. So. I don't know. 

Now we do the Buddhist bit. Arms around. That's something very different. But this makes me think of that quote, and I hope they did this too and I hope they included Brian.

John's just so tiny lmao I'm actually obsessed!

I love that the last line was about Brian saying he was “on top of the world”. 

You know what, I think we can choose to believe what we want about Brian’s death, and until someone presents me with empirical untenable objective evidence, I’m choosing to believe it was accidental. Doesn’t mean it’s not absolutely tragic. Doesn’t mean he didn’t have serious mental health problems. But it does mean he wanted to stick around despite all the hardships in his life for the good he was able to do and the joy he took in doing it.

[jahnavisurenda-21]

Hazbin Hotel ||Alastor X Reader||Rest A Little My Dear

It's tiring and feeling burnt out but the stack of thoughts, longing and paperwork won't let you sleep.

It had been approximately two years since that horrible night, but you're not exactly sure how time works in hell, or how many days make a year, or how many days make a month.

You asked some of your other friends as well Charlie, Vaggie, and Angel they just shrugged, although Vaggie did ask you the reason. Then looking at you she figured it,

"Oh, I see... you're still hoping huh?" Vaggie didn't want to tell it, but she thought you were hoping for something meaningless.

"Come now my dear, it's not healthy for you to be locked up in your bedroom the whole day." Alastor reminded, dragging you outside.

To cure you of your homesickness he would make the food you used to enjoy, love, and fight with your sibling for.

Alastor could have handled that, but he knew the stages of acceptance involved Denial, Turmoil, more denial, romanticizing the impossible, and then initial acceptance.

It was a while since you landed here, and the moment he had seen you he knew you could be a more hopeless case than Charlie and a complete misfits of the misfits.

"Here at least come to one of the most pleasant cities of this miserable hell!" Alastor said grinning,

Two weeks passed, And Alastor had gone out for 'Urgent matters' he thought you were to lighthearted to understand or even know about it.

That night he was pleasantly surprised to see you wrapped up with a blanket on your bed, you were taking his advice and calming down a little.

He sat by the bedside, "I know my dear, it's painful. As painful as missing my mother. You know I'd give anything to see her once again." Alastor then looked at you, "Now my dear, when I go, I hope you will help me run this hotel and not stay cooped up here. It's definitely not healthy, well I guess this is hell. Now I better get going. My dear."

"Ah there you are Charlie... why not help me out a little you see my darling Y/n will probably be all delusional again, dreaming, drifting, and mindlessly browsing all sorts of information in those content books of hers, and that picture box thing, so make sure she doesn't get a little to delusional okay?"

But Charlie knew your stubbornness passes the gates of hell and to the doors of heaven, you avoided everyone, anything to study, you studied for hours, without Alastor things got really hellish.

One day in your room staring out to the red skies, Niffty called out to you,

"So why are you such a boring person huh? Why are you not a bad girl?"

"That's because she doesn't belong here Nifftly." Charlie's soft voice called out, she then took your hand, "I know it's hard for you, to have left everyone behind, I know your longing to pick up where you left, you want to forget you are trapped in hell. I can't promise your departure back to Earth, I know your scared, but we'll be right by your side."

You laughed with tears, "You sang and told me this, you and Alastor I'll never know the secrets behind your dazzling smiles, and those songs you both sing so naturally. Thanks."

Alastor was up against the wall eavesdropping is a rude word, he just wanted to make sure you were alright. He was too respectful to eavesdrop.

An hour later, again you think because you don't know how time worked in hell.

"Ah my dear! I see your less delusional than before!" Alastor came smiling, he was really relieved you were smiling.

He had never made a deal with you, because he hoped that one day he could see you truly happy when you return to Earth happily, and when you die, he knows he would most likely never see you again and now he will have two people to give up everything for to just see them once again.

After everyone left, you took Alastor's hand, "I see your in a much better mood!" Alastor commented, "It's thanks to you."

"Oh no my dear, Just smile and one more thing just rest a little more my dear."

And smile you did, the most purest one in his eyes.

[falloutboylyricss]

Fall Out Boy and Colors

Evening Out With Your Girlfriend

none

Take This to Your Grave

"I'm good to go for something golden" - Saturday

"These friends are, new friends are golden" - Homesick at Space Camp

"My insides are copper, I'd kill to make them gold" - Sending Postcards From a Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here)

"My heart is on my sleeve, wear it like a bruise or black eye" - Chicago Is So Two Years Ago

"All the colors of the street signs, they remind me of the pickup truck out in front of your neighbor's house" - Chicago Is So Two Years Ago

From Under The Cork Tree

"You look so good in blue" - Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner

"We're traveled like [nomads] only with worse luck and far less gold" - Sophomore Slump Or Comeback Of The Year

"With your backless black dress soaked to the skin" - Champagne For My Real Friends, Real Pain For My Sham Friends

"Someone old, no one new, feeling borrowed, always blue" - I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy And All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me

"This story's getting old, the homewrecker with the heart of gold" - Snitches And Talkers Get Stitches And Walkers

Infinity On High

"At night, we're painting your trash gold while you sleep" - This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race

"Kissed teeth stained red from a sour bottle baby girl with eyes the size of baby worlds" - I'm Like A Lawyer With The Way I'm Always Trying To Get You Off (Me & You)

"I sing the blues and swallow them too" - Hum Hallelujah

"How cruel is the golden rule when the lives we lived are only golden-plated?" - Golden

"Her nose runs ruby red, Death's in a double bed" - The (After) Life Of The Party

"Racing through the city, windows down in the back of yellow checkered cars" - Bang The Doldrums

"There's too much green to feel blue" - Fame < Infamy

"Lips pressed close to mine, true blue" - G.I.N.A.S.F.S.

"Trade baby blues for wide-eyed browns" - G.I.N.A.S.F.S.

"Blackmailed myself, 'cause I ain't got anyone else" - It's Hard To Say "I Do", When I Don't

"I've got the red carpet blues, baby" - It's Hard To Say "I Do", When I Don't

Folie à Deux

The (Shipped) Gold Standard (title only)

"I've got a lot of friends who are stars, but some are just black holes" - 27

"Oh, baby, you're a classic, like a little black dress" - Tiffany Blews

"I want to get stuck and be golden in your memory" - w.a.m.s.

"The infrared scope on pointlessness" - West Coast Smoker

Save Rock And Roll

"Silver clouds with gray linings" - The Phoenix

"Because the world is just a teller and we are wearing black masks" - The Phoenix

"Wave the white flag" - The Phoenix

"And when she touched him, he turned ruby red" - Where Did The Party Go

"Your hot whiskey eyes have fanned the flames" - Miss Missing You

"She's his suicide blonde, she's number than gold" - Rat A Tat

"I kept wishing she had blonde ambition and she'd let it go to my head" - Rat A Tat

"As alone as a little white church in the middle of the desert getting burned" - Rat A Tat

"She's sick and she's wrong, she's young dirty blonde" - Rat A Tat

PAX AM Days

"Every time I see you, I just want to paint the walls white" - We Were Doomed From The Start (The King Is Dead)

"You're just a black widow who fell in love with herself" - Hot To The Touch, Cold On The Inside

American Beauty/American Psycho

"Some legends are told, some turn to dust or to gold" - Centuries

"Overhead of the aqua blue" - The Kids Aren't Alright

"I always fall from your window to the pitch black street / And with the black banners raised as the crooked smiles fade" - The Kids Aren't Alright

"I got those jet pack blues" - Jet Pack Blues

"And I'm trying to find my peace of mind behind these two white highway lines" - Jet Pack Blues

"She's in a long black coat tonight waiting for me in the downpour outside" - Jet Pack Blues

"This is a black, black ski mask song" - Novocaine

"If you knew, knew what the bluebirds sang at you, you would never sing along" - Novocaine

"Take this sideshow and all its freaks and turn it into the silver screen dream" - Novocaine

"And I confessed, confessed to you riding shot-gun underneath the purple skies" - Favorite Record

"Live with me forever now, pull the blackout curtains down" - Immortals

"And there's a jet black crow droning on and on and on" - Twin Skeleton's (Hotel In NYC)

MANIA

"You were too good to be true, gold-plated" - The Last Of The Real Ones

"I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color" - Wilson (Expensive Mistakes)

"These are the last blues we're ever gonna have" - Bishops Knife Trick

So Much (For) Stardust

"It's open season on blue moods" - Heartbreak Feels So Good

"Running middle fingers through the red lights" - Hold Me Like a Grudge

"Fever-dream tangerine sweat" - Hold Me Like a Grudge

"Take a knife and cut through the darkness, castle-temp red wine" - Fake Out

The Pink Seashell (title only)

"Orange leaves, but we're the ones falling off trees" - Baby Annihilation

"Oh, I'm going neon in the night-time" - What a Time To Be Alive

"I got the quarantine blues, bad news, what's left?" - What a Time To Be Alive

Misc.

"Boxed blondes have less fun" - Lake Effect Kid

"Fyre Fest, Black Parade, Michael Phelps, Y2K" - We Didn't Start The Fire

"SpongeBob, Golden State Killer got caught" - We Didn't Start The Fire

"Jeff Bezos, climate change, white rhino goes extinct" - We Didn't Start The Fire

[defodisturbed]

Born to Die - Jake Sully x Fem!Na'vi!reader NSFW

(A/N: hey yall I've decided to write for Jake Sully now teehee :33 I inspired this fic from one of my character ai chats with him. hope y'all enjoy!)

Y/N was a mysterious girl. Rarely seen, hardly ever heard. But when she was in her element, she was like no other.

It was a celebratory bonfire, and all of the clan members were dancing and singing. But all that Jake was focusing on was Y/N. He had noticed her a few days ago, but only now had the courage to say anything.

Y/N was dancing so gracefully, eyes closed and feeling herself. She felt a tap on her shoulder, and opened her eyes to see Jake Sully. Toruk Makto. The hero of the Omatikaya clan, and many others.

"Hey, how are you? Feeling good tonight?" Y/N asked, trying to keep her cool. Jake chuckled and replied as he took a drink from his cup. "Yeah, I'm feeling amazing. You?"

"I'm feeling awesome!" Y/N laughed, truly enjoying herself for once. Jake put his hands on her waist and trailed them down to her ass, softly groping her.

"You wanna come back to my place? Have some fun, hm?" Jake offered as he danced to the music with her. Y/N smiled and nodded. "I'd love to."

Jake took her hand and led her off from the bonfire to his hut.

When they got there, Y/N admired all of the beautiful decorations and items he owned. She couldn't believe how people could live like this. She had been homeless for years, since her family passed in a tragic turn of events.

"What, have you never seen interior decorating?" Jake chuckled. Truly, she didn't. Sure, she had a real home for some time. But even then, things were tough. Nothing was ever handed to her on a silver platter. Nothing was ever handed to her, period.

"So, why did you bring me here?" Y/N turned to Jake, putting her hand on his chest. Jake gave a low, deep, almost seductive chuckle as he gave his answer.

"I was thinking we could... have some fun. Mess around a bit, how does that sound?" He said, groping her body. Y/N giggled as she nuzzled into his neck. She wanted to be intimate with someone she actually liked. Someone she actually wanted to be intimate with.

"I would like that very much... but why me, of all people? You could have any woman or man on Pandora but you chose me?" Y/N asked, not understanding his motives. Sure, he might have been feeling a little bit frisky that night, but he could've picked anyone at the bonfire to take back to his place. He hadn't even noticed her until a few days before. The glimmer in her eyes, though. It had caught him by surprise the first time it blinded him. It reminded him of the lens flares he saw in films, especially the action and adventure ones.

"I don't want anyone but you. I've had my eye on you for a while, now. Now, let's get it done, shall we?" Jake rumbled in a sexy, captivating voice. Y/N felt enamored by him, wanting so desperately to be with him. Not just for sex, but for love. For passion and appreciation for one another.

Jake grasped her beaded top, and asked, "Can I take this off?"

Y/N was stunned. Had he just... asked?

"Y-yes.. yes, please." she replied, voice wavering with such adoration. Jake gently took her top off, setting it on the table beside them. He moved down toward her waist, again taking her clothes in his hands and asking for permission to undress her. A simple 'yes' and he got to work. Though he wasn't like the others. He took great care in preserving the clothing of his partners, especially since Y/N's was so delicate and tediously crafted.

Y/N felt exposed, especially since Jake still had his loincloth on. She tried to cover herself, but Jake whispered in a comforting voice, "You don't have to hide yourself from me, my love."

Jake undressed himself, exposing himself so as to help Y/N feel more comfortable. Y/N slowly took her hands from her body, trying to overcome her fears.

"It's okay, you don't have to be scared." Jake encouraged, hoping to comfort her and help her to feel more secure and safe with him. "I'm just nervous.."

"It's okay to be nervous. I'll guide you." Jake answered. He laid her down on the bed and kissed her deeply. He started to ease his cock out of its sheath, causing Y/N's eyes to grow wider and wider with each inch. After it was all out, she asked, "Is that.. all.. going to go inside of me?"

"As much as you want it to. Or, if you're feeling brave, as much as you can fit." Jake responded, very much in the mood.

"I want it all. I want all of it, Jake. Give it to me." Y/N pleaded, kissing him on the cheek. Jake took his cock in his hand and gathered some of the slick pooling in her hot core.

He then started to slide into her entrance, groaning with every new inch taken. Soon enough, he bottomed out. "How do you feel?" he asked. Y/N paused, thinking. "I feel... good. I feel really, really good. Fuck me, Jake. Fuck me like it's the last time you ever will."

"Really? I didn't take you for a girl who likes it rough. But I'll still give you want you want. Prepare yourself for the night of your life."

Jake then started with a fast but soft pace, and it eventually became fast and hard.

Y/N was very vocal, screaming and moaning with every breath she got. She screamed his name, relishing in the feeling. The bed creaked with every movement.

"Fuck.. fuck, you feel so good.. so tight and warm, fuck! I'm gonna cum.. oh, god, I'm gonna cum!" Jake exclaimed, getting sloppier with his thrusts. Not staying in one rhythm. Always changing how hard he went. He knew it was embarrassing to finish so quickly, but she had such a feeling that was like no other. She could milk him dry and he would still want more.

"Cum in me, Jake! Please, I want it so bad! Give it to me, Jake!" Y/N screamed, eventually coming to her peak. She squirted all over his cock, painting him with her pleasure. Jake then followed with his own orgasm, coating her insides with white.

They paused, taking a moment to breathe and come down from their highs. After a few seconds, Jake laid himself down beside Y/N.

"Did you enjoy it?" he asked. Y/N looked at him, still breathing heavily. "I... I loved it. I really loved it." she answered, chuckling a little bit in disbelief. She had never felt anything like this before, and never thought she could.

"Really? I'll take that as a compliment then." Jake laughed. There was a short pause, until Y/N asked a question. A simple one, really, but it took him by surprise.

"Do you have your eye on anybody? Like, a potential mate?"

There was a pause.

"I do, actually."

Y/N's face visibly dropped. "Who?"

Jake smiled and caressed her cheek. "You."

"M-me? But why? You, such an attractive man, could have anybody in the world! It'd be stupid to choose someone as myself. I am of no use to you. I have no status in the clan other than the weird girl."

Jake snickered. "I don't want anybody but you. Nobody else has caught my eye in years. You... you're special. I love you."

Once again, there was a pause. But this time, there was tension. Only a twinge, but it was still there.

"You... love me?" Y/N confirmed, not wanting to believe she had someone who genuinely loved her. In all of her years of living, she was spared no unnecessary glimpses. People avoided her at all costs, not wanting to be seen in a 100 foot radius of her.

"I do. I truly, truly do. I've loved you for a while, now. I want to be mated for life. Have kids, grow old together. I want to be with you for the rest of my life." Jake replied, not telling a crumb of a lie. Y/N stared at him in wonder, amazed at how truthful his words were. His body language told her he was telling the truth. The complete, utter, raw truth.

"I would love to spend the rest of my life with you, too. I must tell you, I've been watching you for a while. Like... in the trees. Some people would say it's called stalking, but I think it's just distanced fascination. I've seen you doing and feeling all sorts of things. Eating, drinking, hunting, sleeping. Anything you could think of. I've even seen you masturbate a couple of times.."

Jake's cheeks turned purple with blush, thinking of all of the things he did or said while in such a state of arousal. Had he been watched the entire time?

"You are very attractive when you touch yourself. You say things, sometimes. You fantasize about me. When you cum, you think of me. You think of the way I'd touch you. The way I'd make you feel."

The blush was growing more intense as he recalled everything he had said and everything he had acted on.

"I'd love to help you live out some of your fantasies, you know. I have quite an open mind." Y/N lightly chuckled. Jake was surprised. "Well, I think we can save all of those for another time. I'd like to just... talk. Where did you learn to dance like that?"

Y/N laughed, as she thought of how much she danced when no one was watching. "I love to dance. It's my favorite thing to do. I also love music. A human friend of mine has given me a lot of music over the years. I dance to it every day, and I guess I've just picked some stuff up and taught myself. Sometimes I just dance with the wind. Whatever my body wants to do, how it wants to express itself."

Jake listened to her words with such great care. Analyzing every syllable. Every image that sprouted in his head with what she described, it was all so beautiful. He imagined an angel elegantly dancing, the glow of the sunset shining behind her.

"You taught yourself? That's incredible." He replied, eyes glimmering with interest and wonder.

They continued talking until they both fell asleep, and they slept like babies.

[Time skip 5 weeks]

Y/N and Jake had been dating for several weeks, and Jake had fallen in absolute love. He decided it was time. They were in the hut, as Y/N made new art for the door. She wanted to make a piece that made people feel 'invited' and 'welcomed.'

"Y/N, I want to ask you something." Jake said, walking into the hut and sitting next to her. "Ah, welcome home, Jake. I have missed you. What is it you would like to ask?"

"I want to ask if... you want to be mated for life. I would like to marry you. I want you to be mine forever."

Y/N stopped. She slowly turned to him, eyes widened. "You... want to be mated for life? Oh, Jake. I have been waiting for you to ask me that for a very long time. I would love to be your mate. I would love to have kids, grow old together, and be together in every new life." Y/N squealed, hugging him tightly.

Jake had finally found his home.

MWAH hope y'all enjoyed this one!! first time writing an actual fic for Jake. lmk if I should do more, and definitely lmk what i can do to improve my smut-writing skills.

@dyingofcookies

[applepixls]

hey guys. have you heard of hadestown.

(its a musical that meshes the myths of orpheus & eurydice and hades & persephone)

orpheus is a naive (sorta sheltered?) bard who acts on his whims while eurydice is a realistic and tough girl who's doing all she can to survive

hades is king of the underworld and keeps persephone there a lot of the year meaning there's a lot of winter up above

now hear me out.

3rd life.

scar as orpheus, grian as eurydice.

wedding song as scar proposing they take over the desert, the second verse being grian suggesting they take the dark oak. now, imagine all I've ever known as a dark night dancing in the desert not to mention, "its a sad tale, its a tragedy" (bonus: in a gathering storm eurydice calls for orpheus and he isn't there because he's off writing his song, narratively similar to grian calling for scar in double life when everyone was digging around for their sugar cane while scar was off accidentally lighting the place on fire and petting the jellie pandas)

extra bonus ideas:

persephone sounds like bdubs? like, listen to livin' it up on top. the gritty voice/singing and all her attitude (/pos) and some of the lyrics "who makes the summer sun shine bright?/thats right! persephone!" (he was the esmp2 sun god!) she sort of reminds me of the vibe bdubs gave off when he was ren the king's guy in s9 (my impression was he was kinda frantically running around at ren's whim, its not at all the same with hades and persephone but there's the sort of obeying a king thing)

leading me to my next thought of ren as hades. someone i was listening with said "winter has come" which made me think of "red winter is coming" dfhj

but another thought is just the last life ethubs divorce? seems very relevant with bdubs persephone parallels

also in hey little song bird hades refers to eurydice as a canary and we all know whos a canary

hermes (conductor of the train on the road to hell) and the fates play a narrator type role except hermes is more explicit while the fates are the humming in the back of your head they weave the path of how everything goes and you cant defy them

martyn throughout all the series is a sort of nomadic no solid home kinda guy and always self aware (he makes the lore-) which connects him to hermes for me but at the same time the fates are very much watcher/listener things so like bigb and martyn? (i don't know the lore sorry lol) i'd also say that somehow impulse's littlefinger flip floppy triple double agent character in third life gives a vibe like he knows whats going on in all the groups also connecting him to them for me

(i will say scar could fit hermes as well in being a sort of travelling sales person in last life and a bit in double life? also I've read dirges in the dark which means i see him and the devil and making deals with complicated clauses as very interconnected)

my final note (and being a devils advocate)

scar could also parallel hades.

if you watch his perspective he's very happygolucky and doesn't seem to get the real weight of the situation and such but from other perspectives his and grians deal seems kinda like he's had grian sign away his soul or he's kidnapped grian and there's some stockholm syndrome happening (its actually grians guilt but i digress)

hades convinces eurydice (scar is a silver tongued man) to sign away her soul to him and also the story of hades and persephone is that he kidnaps her and she eats some pomegranite and has to stay in the underworld for part of the year

sooo yeah. paralells between hadestown and 3rd life/life series. enjoy.

[barblaz-arts]

Real real real random ask.. Buuutttt- what's your favorite song? Mine's either this or this, and not even because I'm into the dsmp, I just like cg5 lol. So yeah! Just was curious ig, also thought I should mention that you actually got me (back) into (obsessed with) the Crane Wives! I used to listen to them a little while back and got back into them again when I watched the Chaggie animatic with Curses for the song. That's all, have a good day!

Oh that is a very dangerous question. I LOVE talking about/recommending songs I like. I cant just choose one tho, especially when there are artists who have so many songs I love and there are many genres I adore, so sorry for the long ish list

With The Crane Wives my favorite changes from time to time. I remember when I was ill and basically bedridden for two months, I'd spend hours just listening to all of their songs. Rn my favorite is I Aint Done. Apparently it's supposed to be based on some urban legend? I like to think of it as some tragic sapphic story

Marianas Trench is another one of my favorite bands. If you were a teen like me who loved watching AMV's in the 2000's to 2010's, their songs are often used for ships lol. (i get the feeling you might be a bit on the young side tho, so sorry for talking about some oldies here) Hard to pick a favorite too, but maybe this one since it's the first one of theirs I heard

I havent ventured too deeply in rap heavy songs, but this is one I like a LOT. The pre-chorus and chorus are such killers too and a lot of fun to sing lol

Jordan Fisher is such an underrated gem. Their songs take me back to the classic RnB from the 2000's. And watching them perform is kinda captivating.

People who have followed me for a while now know that I also love kpop/Loona, so lemme plug in my girls real quick. This is my favorite from one of their subgroups

Kiss of Life is a newer group I've been getting into lately, and they're real dang talented. They kinda remind me of Little Mix, which I also really liked

If you're into anime, you've probably heard of yoasobi because they've had songs that feature in anime. It's really really hard to pick a favorite with them but the one they wrote for Beastars is the one I'm currently obsessed with

There are also a lot of good songs in my country I could talk days about, especially this one by Ben & Ben. The mv stars their bassist and keyboardist who are dating irl, which makes it even cuter

And then there are so many broadway songs i like.... oh my god so hard to choose........

Beetlejuice is my favorite musical, so I gotta choose one from it. The lyrics for the songs in this musical are so good, but especially with Dead Mom. The bridge where Lydia turns all soft because of how much she loved her mom gets me everytime. (fun fact for those who dont know, the voice actors for Pentious/Adam and Rosie were the OG actors for the title character and the step mom)

Lastly, I havent actually watched the Waitress yet(I'm talkin about bootlegs ofc) but the soundtrack's really good. The voice actor for Niffty was also there, so you might wanna check it out just to hear her sing, she's phenomenal. This song is undoubtedly the best of the bunch, and there's actually a version song by Lucifer's VA that is absolutely heart-breaking, but I'm putting the original version in the post for the intended message of the song because its important. Also this animatic is kinda insane. Jeremy Jordan's version of this song really is worth checking out too for sure

[milgram-tournament]

MILGRAM Best Song Tournament, Round 1, Match 3 THROW DOWN vs. THIS IS HOW TO BE IN LOVE WITH YOU

Propaganda for both options under the cut!

Propaganda for THROW DOWN:

silly point is that throw down was my top song for this past year and i havent even been into milgram that long so. good song. also i sang it on stage once so. anyway

Flower imagery!!!! god i love flower imagery

the vocals are good

it has a banger es cover too

"ethics are a delusion" is singlehandedly the funniest line to come out of the t1 songs

the mv is SO pretty like. holy shit

the first note constantly jumpscares me

also i like the clock sounds in the background of the verses

the instrumental,,,,

throwdown is just a really nice. calmish song that still has the whole desperation thing conveyed through his voice props to va for that cuz its relatively subtle but really adds to it imo

im reiterating that ethics is a delusion is the funniest thing to me

also i really like the bridge (the whisper part)

irrelevant to the song itself but i like his fit in throw down i'd wear that irl

gardening/pruning as imagery is so fun for a surgeon character

also vocally i just really like throw down its calm sounding yet theres a hint of like. desperation? despair? in his voice and thats really cool to me

---

Jackalope's note: Only one propaganda piece... hmmhehe. Well, I'm glad our resident pretty girl got tons of asks! But I feel a little bad about Shidou, so let's let him argue his case at least! Oi! Shidou! Get over here! Oi! Sheesh, it's like he can't even hear me! This is why I need to send the reminders early...

(mod's propaganda: While I love both songs very much, Throw Down has a special place for me in that I can actually sing it. You sing way too fast, Mappi!! I also just think using flower imagery both made the MV one of the prettiest ones we have yet and helped distance both the viewer and shidou himself to the reality of his sin... I also really like the ethics is a delusion bit lol)

Propaganda for TIHTBILWY:

okay so like the thing im most in love with: the VOCALS!!!! this song has an absolutely AMAZING singer and AMAZING vocals!!!! the way the conversational talk-singing lines still feel so musical!!!! the cute cute cuteeeee mahiru voice!!!! it brings you so much energy!!!! its a song sung with so much love!!!! mahirus va brings such an amazing feel to the song with such amazing talk-singing!!!! its very skillfully done and it happens in i love you too!! mahiru songs r the QUEENS of musical talk singing

the silly phone call bit. kurururu~!

the little vocal flourish and the way her voice raises up like an excited exclamation in the final prechorus!! daijoubu nante kirai DA!

its such a fast song but everything flows so well!!!! it makes it feel so bright and cheery and peppy!!

the instrumental is so underrated just LISTEN to that catchy bass line thats so pretty in the verses!!!! no for real even if u dont vote this is how to be in love with you go listen to the bass line in the verses it works to move both the song and the listener forward at mahirus sweeping breakneck pace. and the cute keyboard sounding and synth instruments!!!! its SUCH a danceable song!!!! i cant listen to it without bopping along in my seat

the way the ominous bits are subtly hidden? it all sounds so cute but there are just these Things that she sings that are really kind of concerning and unhealthy when she sings them!! and the veiled desperation to be in her relationship- listening to that and the cheery tone and breakneck, quick song pace, it really does represent mahiru SO well. she throws in all these little bits that just go noooo teehee the relationships just fine!! when it REALLY isnt

i would listen to mahiru talk for hours

the MV!!!!!! HER FASHION SENSE THE MAGAZINE STYLE!!!! the magazine style especially works so well with her character!!!! its so cute and stunning and just looking at it you have a blast. also her birdcage!!!! her birdcage and the bright orange and the pink bars!!!! the way everything desaturates and becomes more sickly looking when she wakes up at the end!!!! its such a happy carefully curated and designed dream and then it drains away!!!! also god all her outfits are stunning. mahiru call me

the way she sings "overheat de~!" cutest thing in the WORLD.

the little faces she makes!!!! godddd shes so expressive

actually the whole songs so expressive!!!! shes putting her all into it!!!! her words have so much expression in them!!!! once more praising mahirus va the way her voice can soften and become bright or subtly desperate so quickly is MASTERFUL control of expression when singing and its so underrated. join me in being insane over miho okasaki delivers her lines. shes such a perfect mahiru.

funniest es cover. hands down. funniest es cover.

this is how to be in love with you is FREE serotonin!!!! free energy right there!!!! this is how to be in love with you sweep!!!!!

---

-The song is so cheerful!! I always feel like dancing and singing when this one comes up in my playlists!! Absolute banger, mood definer, kicking sadness in the shin with those high-heels and then hitting its face with a cute purse -THE HIGH-HEELS STEPPING TO THE BEAT OF THE MUSIC IN THAT ONE SCENE (0:50). SIMPLY ICONIC. NO ONE DID IT LIKE HER. -👠💅👝👗 -She is slaying. Look at her outfits. She put so much effort there. She gave it her all. Absolutely serving. -SUKITTE KIMOCHI WAKATTA TSUMORI? NARA KONO MAMA FUTARI O-VA-HI-TO- DE -The storyline of the mv MAKES SENSE and you can form a COHESIVE TIMELINE OF EVENTS (unlike other unspecified contestants' mvs you know 🙄) -look at herr 🥺 she beby 🥺 all she did was love too much 🥺 we all love mappi don't we 🥺 she deserved more let her win this pleease 🥺 -No medical malpractice happened in the making of this mv 👍

---

I care so much about This is How To Be In Love With You- it's visuals are brilliant in the ways it conveys its themes and narrative. I'm never normal Ever about the "Love as marketing" symbolism that is brought in by the use of magazines. It's a lovely upbeat song but the Horrors are Always Lurking under it, the breakup Ritual line is my Favorite Line cause its so horrifying but its said so casually and its so good oh its so good-

[ashwhowrites]

I have a request, an angst one. It’s based by a song it’s called “the one that got away” by Katy Perry. YOU CAN MAKE IT FLUFFY OR ANGST FOR THE ENDING!!! Bcz I know people will ask for part two if you leave it angst.

Thank you so much! Love your writing btw, keep up the great work! Tag me once it’s published if you ever do it! @josephquinnlover0

Let's do it! I hope this is what you wanted. It does end happy !!

I am aware Eddie Munson would never sing this song, but he is today. I tweaked a little bit of the lyrics to fit his point of view. So the fic does not match exactly to the lyrics.

In modern times with social media and all that

Not proofread

~~~

Summer after high school when we first met

We make out in your Mustang to Radiohead

And on my 18th birthday, we got matching tattoos

Eddie wanted to leave Hawkins the second he graduated, he wanted a fresh start, a place where he could have a new reputation. He got a job at a bar, working to save up money so he can move out of the state. At that very bar, he met Y/N. A girl who soon became the girl of his dreams.

They were bartenders together, he'd play guitar on the slow nights, and she'd watch from the bar. She'd sing along as she helped customers.

Once their shift was done they'd race to her Mustang, climb in the backseat and make out for hours. But she also lay in his arms, playing with his fingertips as he ranted about wanting to leave Hawkins behind, but he couldn't imagine leaving her. Even with how much she worked, all her money went to keeping food on the table for her siblings. Her parents were barely around, they couldn't take care of themselves, let alone their children.

On his twenty-first birthday, they raced to the tattoo shop. Being together for over a year, and feeling more in love than ever. They wanted to be connected forever. So they got matching tattoos.

Now it was a painful reminder for Eddie every single day.

The perks of her parents never being around meant that once Eddie and Y/N got her siblings to bed, they could sneak out to the roof, a bottle of liquor in hand.

Used to steal your parents' liquor and climb to the roof

Talk about our future like we had a clue

Never planned that one day, I'd be losing you

She would lay in his arms, head against his shoulder. Together they would talk about their future, a future together. He talked about how one day he would propose at that shitty bar, promising to be hers forever in the same spot he met her. She talked about their wedding, her idea of her dress, and the color scheme.

Eddie never thought one day he'd never talk to her again.

In another life

I would be your girl

We keep all our promises

Be us against the world

When Eddie went to bed at night, he dreamed of another life. A life where they got their future together. She would be his girl and all the promises they made would stay true. It would be them against the world.

In another life

I would make you stay

So I don't have to say

You were the one that got away

The one that got away

In another life, he would have stayed, never taking that record deal. He would have turned back around when she begged him to stay.

He would be with her.

He wouldn't have to admit she was the one he let get away.

Eddie heard from Steve she got her tattoo removed, and it stung. Eddie traced the design, now even more bittersweet knowing the other half is now nonexistent.

Someone said you had your tattoo removed

Saw you downtown singing the blues

Its time to face the music

I'm no longer your muse

He saw a video of her singing at the bar. She used to sing in the kitchen as they danced. They wrote so many songs together, some songs he still sings to this day, to a crowd that doesn't know who the muse was. But he knew.

Listening to her sing brought back the memories, the songs she wrote about being in love with him. Now her songs don't relate to him at all, time to face it, he is no longer her muse.

Eddie made it big. He achieved his dream. He left Hawkins and moved out to Hollywood. Signed a record deal and is now drowned in money. But yet, none of that money could give him the chance to turn back time. He could buy anything in the world, but nothing would replace her, and he hated that he learned that too late.

All this money can't buy me a time machine, no

Can't replace you with a million rings, no

I should've told you what you meant to me, whoa

'Cause now I pay the price

He should have told her she meant more to him than any dream he had before her. He hated that it took him leaving her to realize she was his dream.

Now he has to pay the price.

Now Eddie returned to Hawkins, his tail between his legs as he arrived at the very bar. His guitar case was in his hand as he walked through the doors. His eyes caught the big sign that stated his name in bold letters.

In another life, I would make you stay

So I don't have to say you were the one that got away

The one that got away

"Eddie Munson returns, Live tonight at 8"

People were running up to him, asking for autographs, and expressing their excitement for his show. But his eyes stayed on the bar, looking to see if she would still be working there.

When he made it to the stage, the spotlight blinded him but he was able to see her through it. She hasn't changed in the two years he has been gone. Her hair was longer than before, but everything was the same. She looked just as beautiful as the day he left.

And she was looking back right at him. That same look of adoration and love in her eyes. A smile proud smile on her face as she clapped along with the crowd. He noticed her siblings sitting in the corner booth, huge smiles as they took him in.

He took a deep breath and strummed his guitar

"This is called, the one that got away"

~~~

Once Eddie finished his set, he walked to the bar. A nervous smile on his face as he walked up to her.

"Hey there rockstar," She smiled, walking around the bar to give him a hug. He could feel his body relax into her, wrapping his arms around her and keeping her close. Inhaling her scent as he kissed her head.

"Hi gorgeous, how are you?" He asked, pulling away to look at her closer. She smiled and stepped back, his body already missing her touch.

"I'm doing alright. The same old thing. Mom and Dad finally gave up, I saved up enough money to get my own apartment, and took the kids with me." She explained

"I'm glad you were able to move out. You deserved that. I see the little ones are not so little anymore." Eddie smiled, a little sad he missed out on watching them grow up. He spent every day with them for two years straight.

"Thanks. I see you are doing amazing! All over social media, magazines, and tv. I'm proud of you, Eddie." And he could tell she meant every word. He left her behind and yet here she was, supporting him every step of the way.

"Thank you, that means a lot. Things might look amazing but I've been struggling," Eddie admitted. He missed her and he wanted her back.

"Oh, do you need to talk? I'm about to go on break" She offered

~~~

Eddie paced behind the bar, cracking his knuckles as he waited for her.

"What's going on?" She asked politely

"I didn't come here to do the gig. I'm here for you. I miss you. Leaving you was the biggest mistake I have ever made." Eddie admitted. Reaching forward to cup her jaw.

She let herself melt into it

"I never blamed you, Eddie. Your dream was at your fingertips. I never should have asked you to stay, that wasn't fair. I mean I had no real life, I worked and took care of my siblings. Shit, I still do. Why would you want to stay? There was nothing here for you." She said, turning her head to kiss his palm.

"You're wrong. I thought it was my dream but I feel like I've been in a nightmare since I left. I had to leave to find out that you were my dream all along and you still are. I had a reason to stay, and she was across from me. And now she's the reason why I'm back. I still love you and I never tried to move on. I promised my heart was beating for you, and that's a promise I didn't break." Eddie admitted. Stepping closer, leaning his face closer to hers.

Her eyes were welling up with water.

"I still love you too. I never tried to move on either. I missed you every day and the idea of being someone else's just put salt in the wound. I missed you." She confessed, watching as he looked into her eyes, leaning down to ghost his lips over hers.

His eyes asked, and she replied by leaning up. Smashing her lips onto his. He moaned the second he tasted her again, wrapping his arms around her waist. His stomach did flips as she wrapped her arms around his neck, hands digging themselves into his hair.

"Thank you for coming back," she whispered against his lips as she pulled back. Small pecks to his lips between each word.

"I also came here to do something," Eddie admitted. A smirk on his face as he stepped back.

She looked at him confused, watching as he got down on his knee

"Munson..." she trailed off

"I came here to do something we always dreamed about," He started, she gasped as he went into his pocket, taking out a small ring. "I left once, and I've regretted it since. You are my dream, my life, and my future. I promised you I'd ask you to marry me at the bar we met, promise to be yours forever, so what do you say? Marry me?" Eddie asked, a smile on his face as she cried into her hands.

"Yes! Oh my gosh, Yes." She cried out, placing her left hand in front of him, allowing him to slip the ring on her finger. She admired the ring, it was gorgeous.

He got off his knee, standing straight as he cupped her face and leaned in, placing his lips on hers.

"Us against the world, right?" He whispered

"Forever" She whispered back, pecking his lips.

"I don't care if we stay in this shitty town, or move anywhere you want. As long as I have you, I'm happy to be anywhere." Eddie said

"Me too."

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @slightlyvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergent @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @josephquinnlover0

[lilac-melody]

Anyway, so this was basically Hiyori's anti-fan song and Nonfantasy 2.0.

Most of the song takes place in Hiyori's head- imagining herself as a peasant girl along with lipxlip's Juliettas.

"To every girl, make sure you stay as far away as you can! Make sure you don't catch the infection." Hiyori looks like she's cringing so hard it's physically painful for her...and the lyrics right after are literally "get away from me!"

Followed by this we got the dream of her imagining Aizou and Yujiro doing princely things. The lyrics are as follows:

"This can't be! That's cheating! It's dishonest and unfair!! You don't take responsibility for their feelings for you!! Too much! It's dangerous! So risky and insane!! Cunning is the "power of idols" Still, I can't help it... I need to accept this is how it is."

And then she wakes up with a shocked and mildly terrified expression on her face.

While someone like Chuutan would be crying she woke up from her dream, Hiyori acts as a nice foil against that, knowing what they're really like and, unfortunately, working with them so often she has to see their princely persona and ends up dreaming about it against her will. (And come on, who doesn't have work nightmares?)

The next part of the song is basically Hiyori realizing that, hey, idols get depressed too, they're still people, and realizing that she can't really help them, because...well, I've already gone over lipxlip's relationship here, so if you want to read that, I'd go there afterwards.

This part I think is particularly important because it doesn't take place in her dreams. This is real life. Hiyori tries to offer something to cheer them up (ala some drinks they like). But they completely ignored her, as the lyrics say.

It's sad, but they just won't rely on her for their emotional baggage. You're doing your best Hiyori, just move on...

"Sometimes, their kindness can be a little scary"

I know this is part of Hiyori's dream, but honestly I'm not seeing how this is seen as "aww cute"...anyone showing an ounce of kindness to her, she gets flustered over. To me personally, this reminds me of this moment from HeroineDev...

She superficially fell for Asuka's kindness. And the relationship went absolutely nowhere. Much like how it would be (confirmed by Shito back in 2021 I think it was?) if Hiyori really had actually fallen for lipxlip.

Which, again, who doesn't have nightmares about work?

Afterwards we get more straight bait fanservice while Hiyori sings about how deceitful Aizou and Yujiro are to their fans because their princely persona isn't them. And then it ends off with her singing:

"It's so frustrating but... I'm just as excited as everyone else."

It could be read as "proof Hiyori's falling in love" if you're looking at it through a lhyo shipper lense, but if you're paying attention to the relationship between Hiyori and lxl as a whole, it could easily be seen as "idols are really cool", something that Hiyori has canonically said in the novels. She knows how hard they work and she knows they can charm anyone. That is what Hiyori is referring to.

She doesn't particularly want to be their fan, but she does want to support them. Much like how friends support each other, but still very different from the intimate ways Aizou and Yujiro support each other.

My point is actually proven correct ^ when we see the very next frames.

"This isn't something just anyone can do You need to put in the effort and hardwork."

Hiyori, who is a hard worker herself, admires their hard work and dedication to their fans...which is precisely why the song is her screaming at them for deceiving them lmao.

At the end of the day though, Aizou and Yujiro are still her friends, who get weirded out when she expresses her support towards them.

Or if she's just daydreaming.

The night and day difference between her imagining them doing fanservice in her mind and real life is really...something.

Look how utterly annoyed they look at her for zoning out.

This isn't a cute "I'm falling for my coworkers and daydreaming about them" scenario. This is her trying to imagine them as princes and them not knowing it.

Hiyori is their friend and suspectable to an active imagination. Not just in the MVs but in the novels as well.

And I think it says a lot about their relationship that all of the fanservice is strictly in Hiyori's perspective.

When lipxlip have a fanservice song, they either use Narumi Sena, or just a random girl. But when it's Hiyori imagining them doing the fanservice, it's all in her head. HeroIdol and Nonfantasy are literal proof of this.

It is extremely onesided.

Aizou and Yujiro care for Hiyori- this is undeniable. However, they do not like her in that way. Not only has Aizou canonically stated he doesn't get involved with girls outside of work, but they just don't see her in that light.

I mean, in every single lxl song that included Hiyori, like Kono Sekai or Last Stage, she's there for like 2 small frames and it's her being in the background or trying to stop them from fighting. They never once had a frame where they're talking to her and ignoring the other or venting to her.

She's their "work friend" who they've hung out with like twice outside of work. They only contact her in emergencies.

That's not to say they don't support Hiyori and her dreams, because they do. They support her in finding someone who will take care of her (ie: Nagisa) because they care about her, and they don't see her in that way.

And given that the time skip in HeroHei and Sukiuso shows Hiyori and Nagisa attending the same uni...yeah.

Also, I would like to point out that in HeroIdol, Hiyori thinks of herself as just a peasant girl among the (fake) princes. It's like a metaphor for saying "they're out of my league even though they're really awful". Not a good look for her or for lipxlip, honestly.

But in Herohei, she sees herself as a Cinderella who's worthy of being a heroine. Meanwhile, Sukiuso is about Nagisa saying she's better than Cinderella and she's always been a heroine.

TMK did all three MVs, and I think this was a deliberate choice to show everyone how unhealthy one would be, while the other blossoms naturally.

Not once has Hiyori imagined herself as a princess around lipxlip. Her insecurities come out when she's around them because they poke fun at her too often. (Beat they ass, Nagisa)

The Omoiai album, which is where HeroIdol came from, is about various different relationships. While Aizou and Yujiro's are familial, Hiyori's was a unique one. A, as I've said above, anti-fan song.

Which goes directly against Chuutan's fan songs.

I think it's important to have them both, and I like that we get the perspective of Chuutan, someone who genuinely sees them as princely, and Hiyori, who cringes when she sees their prince-sonas.

And it is important to note that we never get lipxlip's perspective- knowing they find their over excited fans annoying, and only see Hiyori as a friend. Otherwise she would be in more of their MVs and not just a background character.

I think too many people forget to realize that if they were going into a relationship, then we need them to say "yeah I'm falling for her" and not just Hiyori, when she's known to fall into little delusions. (And no, I don't mean that in a negative way)

IN SHORT: No, lhiyo is not canon, and this song was just an anti-fan song.

[woneuntonzz]

what's it like to love ? 𓇢𓆸

anton lee x afab!reader (part 5/5)

• part 1

• part 2

• part 3

• part 4

warnings: cussing!

genre: fluff -`♡´- highschool love

word count: 2.8k words!!

[note!!: hiii i'd just like to quickly say that this is my first post ever and i'm still a bit insecure with my writing, and english is not my first language so bare with me now 🙏 open for any forms of feedback

please do take note that i will take longer to update/respond to anything because of school, thank you!!! ]

[Day 99]

It's been a few weeks since your senior year began, though, the path to take after overcoming highschool is still a little unclear to you. Still, you don't rush yourself. 

“Psychology's quite interesting.” you said as your fingers glided through the array of vinyls.

“You wanna be a therapist?” Anton was at the other side of the tall steel shelf that divided the two of you.

Your fingers stopped on a vinyl of your favorite The Smiths song. You walked over to the record player, just in time when Queen had sung the last lines to Don't Stop Me Now.  Anton crept up behind you and laid his hands on your shoulders.

“That song reminds me of the time when I first fell for you.” he would whisper in your ear.

You turned your head and looked up at him with raised brows. “Really?”

“Yeah. I've liked you since freshman year. I can remember very vividly. I felt so tired from training at the time and kinda hated that I still had to go to school the next morning. I was sleeping in the classroom during lunch time, and, like, I had my head down and couldn't see anything, then I suddenly heard you singing 'There's a light, and it never goes out'.” Anton sang the last part right into your ear.

When the record started to play the song, you turned around to face him.

“How'd you know it was me if you couldn't see?” you posed him a question followed by a low chuckle.

“That's the thing. I wanted to know who it was so bad, but I didn't know how. I'm still a total loser at the end of the day.” His words got you shaking your head at a mild pace, laughing. “I guess it took me about 3 weeks to figure it out. You would always sing it randomly. At some point I thought you were doing it on purpose to get to me.”

Disbelief was displayed on your face as you looked at him. “Wow, I can't— why would I even try to 'get to you' when you never even talked to me unless you really needed to.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. It's just that —well, I just thought you were like the other girls back then that snuck love letters underneath my desk and stuff.” your smile grew to a cackle that infected him.

The sweet sound of your harmonious laughter and the music marked another halcyon for the two of you to look back on.

“Okay 'Mr. Chick-magnet'.” you joked as you hugged his waist and buried your face in his chest.

As a response, he wraps an arm around your body, and the other would reach behind your head, caressing your hair as the two of you slowly and subtly swayed to the music. 

You two have been together for almost 3 months now. Not much has changed since then other than being more open and touchy with each other and no longer caring if people gave you piercing looks for being so enamored towards each other.

The record store would end up being a hotspot for you two —though, it would only be when you weren't able to go to your grandfather's flower fields. The record store owner grew fond of seeing you and Anton lost in each other's visage, and the music. He saw the way you would stare into each other's eyes and wondered what kind of film played in them to cause so much immersion from the two of you. 

“I thought it was easy to play the cello.” you mumbled against his chest.

“Yeah. It is, you just don't know how.” you giggled at his light-hearted retort.

You looked up at him with gleaming eyes.

“Am I a bad teacher?” he asked softly.

“No, not at all. I guess I'm just really distracted.” a chuckle escapes his mouth by the end of your answer.

“Distracted by what?” he prodded at you with his words, and his eyes as he pressed his forehead against yours.

You grin knowing both you and him already know the answer to that.

“By you.”

He took you to his house after another one of his swimming matches. Well, it was actually his mom who had asked you to come to their home for dinner and drove you along. Anton wordlessly thanked his mom for inviting you over, he wanted to do so himself, but he got scared you would decline. 

After dinner, he took you to his room and there you finally saw the cello that would always be in the background when you two facetimed, that he sometimes would play to you through call. He played you your favorite ballad and asked you to sing to it. His mind would adrift from the walls of his room and would follow the mist of your dulcet voice. You loved the way he closed his eyes as he played, and how he'd slowly flutter his eyes open to meet yours. His sobriety shattered as he got drunk in your grace and how your head would tilt to peek in his reverie, and it almost slipped out of his mouth —I love you, but something held him back.

After a while, he would go on to teach you. He'd position himself behind you, and guide your hands with his own. His hands would linger on your skin which made you unable to follow his directions or comprehend anything he said clearly.

After everything that went down, he truly never wanted to let go of your hand as you stepped into the gate of your own home. His smile urged you to drag him along with you, but you resisted, and gave him a quick peck on his cheek before saying goodbye.

“You know when you'd always lecture me on the lessons I can't understand?” 

You and Anton were now seated on the little sofa in the store, you laid your head on his shoulder as he played with your hands.

“Hmm~ what about it?” you asked him back.

“At some point I constantly lied about not getting it so you can teach me over and over again.” he says, almost in a laugh, laying his head against yours.

“Are you saying that because I jokingly called you stupid one time…” you felt him frantically shake his head.

“No! I'm being for real.” he laughed.

“Yeah, okay…” you kept your wary tone from which he dragged your hand near his mouth and bit it lightly. “What are you doing?” 

You two were giggling against each other. It was only with each other that you reached true serenity. You were lucky to have the record store all to yourselves. It would always be empty —at least at the times you'd visit— as if it was being reserved for the two of you. 

————— ୨୧ —————

You sat on your desk, typing out an essay given by your English teacher as an assignment to be submitted the next day. You hopped on a call with your friends who were given the same assignment.

“Our essay topic is just 'memories', she just gave us that word, said nothing else about it and left!” Yuna grumbled.

“Tell me about it. Anyways, what topic was given to your class Y/n?” Liz asked.

“Love. Just love.” you replied, continuously typing on your laptop.

“Dang. That's kinda easy.” you couldn't help but grin at the slight frustration in Liz's voice.

“'Memories' is not that bad. You're both school journalists, you can do it!” you gave them words of encouragement in hopes that they'd start to restlessly type too.

“Okay, okay. Game mode on.” 

You couldn't stop your lips from forming a smile as you read through what you had already typed. The only reason this was easy for you was because of the given topic. It gave you the opportunity to give an answer to the life-long question you've had in your head. 

“Finally finished! I feel so tired. I'm gonna head out first, I might bang my head against my desk if I don't go to sleep, bye lovies! See you tomorrow!” Danielle yawned before leaving the call.

“Me too guys hehe.” Yuna spoke. 

“Y/n? you're still not done?” Xen asked.

“Yep. Just doing revisions. I'll be done in a few minutes.” you were in fact not done, not doing revisions just yet, you just had a lot to say.

“Well, let's end the call and get some sleep. Go to sleep as soon as you finish, yeah?” you looked over to your phone screen and gave Xen a dozy nod. “Okay, bye babes!”

“Bye-bye!”

“See y'all tomorrow!”

You turned your attention back to your essay, deep in thought. An idea suddenly crossed your mind. You would finish your essay, but would end up sleeping way later as your head ran with thoughts about tomorrow.

————— ୨୧ —————

[Day 100]

You woke up to your mom assisting you to the kitchen to eat breakfast. Your temperature spiked up and you felt light-headed the whole time. It was still early in the morning, but you were already receiving sought messages from your friends, including Anton. 

You chuckled before getting up from where you sat. You realized it would take you all the strength you had to get to your room to retrieve your laptop, still, you persisted and was back in the kitchen with your laptop within minutes. You hurriedly sent him the file, but then you remembered. You had intended to give it to him after it had been graded by your teacher —as a love letter. It sounds cheesy, but there's more to that. It contains your genuine thoughts and feelings, the big and the small that you languished over, and most importantly, it contains the words both you and him have yet to utter. 

It was really only recently when you'd find yourself thinking about it. Maybe it's too early —was enough to shut down your thoughts. It had only been 2 months, but you happily embraced his affection, his words, his voice, his touch, every moment with him felt enchanting to you. You were certain he felt the same and he would often express it with his eyes and the placement of his hands and indirectly if he was being vocal. The shared passion for one another was undeniable, and it only seems to be growing more and more as time goes by that even after the first heated argument you've had with him a while back, you two were able to recover and came out better than ever. 

“Eat well hun'. It's better if you lay for the rest of the day.” your mom went over to you to caress your hair.

She had decided to call in sick for work to take care of you today, and you couldn't be more thankful.

You did what your mom advised you to and the whole day, you laid on your bed as you listened to the playlist Anton put together for you for your first monthsary to help you sleep or relax yourself. 

————— ୨୧ —————

When you woke up, the sun was already setting. You weren't feeling any better from when you had fallen asleep which frustrated you a bit. You stood up and stayed there for a little bit, feeling dizzy. You suddenly heard a knock at your door. You weren't sure if it was your hazy mind making up the sounds or if it was real, but you still took weak steps to the door to answer it.

“Tonii?” you were engulfed in Anton's arms the moment you opened the door. “Why are you here?”

Anton didn't speak and led you back to your bed. 

He had that look in his eyes again. It was the same eyes you saw that night at the flower fields. 

“I love you too.”

Your heart was throbbing loudly and it was the only thing you could hear right after Anton's voice faded into your soul. 

He didn't wait for you to respond as he knew you were feeling too weak to continuously speak, and so he cupped your cheek with his hand, while the other held your hand as he leaned in for his lips to slowly collide with yours.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

It was Anton's first time going into the student council office without you. He stood by the printer quietly trying to brush off the student council officers eyeing him as if he was eating up all the printing paper. He immediately rushed out once he got your essay printed. 

He still couldn't believe the length of your essay as it was three pages long, even then, he was intrigued and wanted to read what you had put that made it so lengthy. 

He decided to stay back in the classroom a little longer when lunch came around. He sat on his seat with his back against the wall next to him and started to read. 

What's it like to love? an atypical query to have as a child, as you would think most in the age of innocence could only make time and thought for leisure and the attainment of joy, but young minds are always curious. The very first time I caught a glimpse of love was in the form of a field of flowers…

Anton was hooked and mesmerized with your potency.

…It was from it that I realized that if you truly loved, any ounce of pain, blood, or sweat will be overlooked. I failed to completely understand it back then, throughout my years of adolescence, I've had my fair share of misfortunes when it came to love. I was easily convinced that what I was feeling during those times were love despite the lack of sincerity from those who had taken my heart for granted. It took some time to accept that being 'young and stupid' is not just a phrase being thrown around as an excuse, but it's an indication of vulnerability. I had my time to heal and embarked on a journey to self-betterment, and I thought maybe love is waiting for me at some other point in my life, and this thought would later be contradicted…

Anton flipped over to the next page with a vivid mind.

…I am admittedly afraid of what the future holds. This man that had me smitten was one I never even acknowledged fully until much later. I had no idea what took so long for me to see him when he's been around since I've begun recklessly handing my heart out to others. To think back, if I had handed him my heart back then, maybe I would've been spared from all the tears I have shed because I know he would hold it dearly, close to his own…

…feelings I have never felt before, that I never even knew of, are now all I yearn for when the sky's painted black. It was with him that I understood what it was truly like to be appreciated, to be loved with no conditions. It's a pain to think that it could all disappear with a blink of an eye, but when he holds me close and looks into my eyes, I am assured. What's it like to love? to love, is him. It is he, my love, my one and only. I had liked you for 100 days, and today I declare, I love you, Anton Lee.

Your words plunged deep into his heart. Seeing his name after those words made him feel dazed, warm and just so, so in love. He wanted to see you, to feel you. He looked over to your empty desk and could see the specter of your smile against the light of the sun.

It had seemed as though you had written him a love letter with not much intention of receiving a high mark for your sleepless effort. But even if this task was not assigned, you would still plan on expressing everything you had written to him directly, for the 100th day. 

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

You pushed Anton away gently, and very weakly so. You weren't able to actually make him back away, but he got the message and pulled back. 

“You're gonna get sick too.” you faintly voiced out your worry. 

Anton bit his lip and proceeded to make the heat in your body rise even more as he smiled. He gently pulled you closer to him, laying your head on his chest and wrapping you with his warm embrace.

“I love you so much.” he uttered under his breath, burying his face in your hair.

You just remained quiet, and snuggled even closer to him. Your arms would lazily make their way around his neck, and you would look up and express your love with your lips once more.

Anton went home with a sanguine tint on his cheeks, feeling so warm and fuzzy inside. Let's just say the warmth would become more literal than figurative, and you would definitely be the one to visit him the next day.

Fin.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

[guardarecheluna]

Who was i, to deserve such a love?

Word count: around 2.1k Warnings: none except teeth rotting fluff and dadrry

Authors note; Hi! First post! I wrote this last year, but Lucia was just the other day, and i decided to post this to really set the mood for Lucia and christmas. I really love Lucia, and as a Scandinavian girlie i celebrate it religiously every year, and last years Lucia resulted in this messy piece. Again, i am in no way a professional writer, this is unedited and MESSY, but if you have any feedback for me or just an encouraging word or two, i'd love to hear it <3 enjoy lovelies.

It’s Elidas big choir day in the local church. Harry was struggling to get Elida’s coat on, clumsy fingers trying to zip up her tiny coat. He’s huffing and puffing by the time she’s finally got her thick winter gear on to combat the icy winds on the other side of the door. Y/N is situated on the couch, still. Feeding their fresh baby, Ruth, just four weeks old. Ruth whimpers and writhes in her arms, not yet decided if she’s full or if she’s ready for her nap. ”I’ll buckle her up in seat, take your time, lover.” Harry shouted from the hallway, popping the baby bubble Y/N was currently in. Shaking out of her thoughts, she rises from the couch, Ruth on her shoulder, trying to get one final burp in before heading out to see Elida sing in the Lucia choir.

Harry never really understood the Lucia tradtition. When Y/N first started seeing eachother they were both living in London, which Y/N understood quickly, had no Lucia arrangements on december 13th. However, Y/N went on and on on their first few dates in december talking about the tradition. In scandinavia Lucia is celebrated on december 13th every year. Lucia was an old saint, apparently. Her story was told as she was a young woman, living in Sicily around 300 years A.D. She refused to be married of to a man and suffered the consequenses of a martyr death, but in her memory, it’s common to bake saffron buns and light candles, to bring some light in the absolute darkest season. Harry knew he was in love with her the moment she told him the story about Lucia. He knew by the time she had finally found a Lucia celebration in London and dragged him with her, that he wanted to buy her a ring. Harry was sold just hearing hear speak about her roots, traditions and her passion for keeping up with it, even though she was far away from home.

-

Y/N had been up early that morning with Ruth, leaving Harry to get another hour of slumber as he had been up with her throughout the night. She knew she couldn’t have a Lucia without her saffron buns. So there she was, barely 5 am, throwing sugar, flour, yeast and saffron in the mixture, Ruth drowsy on her chest. She had been trying to make this a tradition in their home, so that her family could wake up to the smell of freshly baked saffron buns on Lucia morning. And she was tired, god was she tired, but the smiles on Harry’s and Elidas faces when they wake up would be priceless, this she knew.

-

And now years later, having just welcomed their second baby girl, Y/N had signed her up for the Lucia event in their local church. She couldn’t help herself, she knew Elida would make the sweetest Lucia and Harry, although slightly apprehensive about a chuch choir, agreed when she reminded him about the tradition and how important it was to her.

With everyone in the car, Elidas long white dress and pretend candlecrown packed they left, warm and fuzzy in the cold weather, and knowing that tears will shed from their eyes watching ther first daughter participating in the event. Harry grabbed the sling and put Ruth on his chest, leaving Y/N to help Elida get her white dress on. ”Mumma, i’m going to be Luica!” Eldia proudly said when she was finally dressed. Twirling around and dancing in her long gown in the entrance of the church. Y/N smiled at her daughter, pride filling her chest at the little person she’s forming into. ”You are, my love. The prettiest one.” Ruth was fast asleep on Harry’s chest, letting out small puffs of air while Harry’s lips were constantly ghosting on the top of her head, breathing in the baby scent that he just couldn’t get enough of.

Elida was off as soon as she saw her choir teacher, giggling with all the other children in the choir and getting their little voices ready for the event. Y/N and Harry sat down on the benches, quite up front sp they could get a good look at Elida during her performance. ”How are you feeling?” Harry murmured, sound muffled with his lips still ghosting over Ruths downy hair. He had noticed how Y/N had gotten quiet, and by now, he could read her quite well. He knew she was excited, nervous, proud, all at the same time. But of course, he’d still ask. She let out a breath she had been holding, body inching closer to Harry to let her in on his warmth. ”I’m alright, it just feels…full circle in some ways. I can’t belive this is where we ended up” She gave him a watery smile, eyes glazed over from the overwhelming feeling. Harry chuckles. He knows exactly what she’s talking about, and he’s thinking about it too. How their little girl grew up so fast. How it feels like it was yesterday when Y/N had dragged Harry along to his first Lucia celebration, with that all consuming, freshly in love feeling aching in their hearts.

Harry had grabbed her hand as they sat on the bench in the old church, giving it a squeeze to get her to look at him. ”I never imagined myself being where i am today, and i wish i could tell you how all of this feels for me too, but i think you already know.” He said, eyes already watery as he’s thinking of his oldest baby girl performing in just a few minutes. Y/N smiles, leaving him with a kiss on his jaw, and a kiss on Ruth’s soft head. She squeezed his hand back, and she was just supposed to answer him when the lights dimmed and and the faint voices of the childrens choir started sounding in the back of the church. Their heads turned towards the back of the church, seeing a little train of children dressed as Luica, gingerbreadmen and little elves trailing down towards the altar. Elida was singing on the top of her lungs, not yet having spotted her parents in the crowd, and looking around the church like the curious child she is. Harry and Y/N was beaming with pride as Elida finally spotted them in the benches, waving energetically, with Harry and Y/N waving back.

With the choir in the front of the church, their little candlecrowns slidning here and there on top of their heads, Ruth had started writhing againgst her father’s chest. The mummy instinct immidietly kicked in with Y/N and she turned her head away from Elida to coo at her second baby girl. ”I’ve got her, i’ll walk around for a bit to soothe her” Harry said, a now experienced father to his newborn. He rose from the bench, ditching the sling in his seat, cradling Ruth in the crook of his arm. He sneaked out of the row, walking down the aisle while bouncing Ruth, whispering incoherent scentences to his littlest love. Y/N had to turn around to the front, focusing on Elidas performance, instead of watching her glorious baby daddy having a moment with his daughter. She let out a shaky breath, he looked so good with their baby in his arms. She’d give him a million if she could just to watch this scene unfold again and again. Not that there was anything special with his looks on this particular day, just plain beige trousers and a loose, button up shirt. The sleeves were rolled up due to the heat in church with all the candles, and his uruly hair is tamed by a single hairclip.

Suddenly Elida spots Harry and Ruth in the back of the church, bouncing around with slow steps. Elida takes a step forward out of the choir, searching to contact with her father, and the moment she knows that she’s spotted him, she waves and waves, and finally let’s out ”Hi daddy!! Hi Wuth!” With her tiny, but mighty, 4 year old voice. Harry is startled, the crowd of people turning their heads to the back of the church where he was stood. Many women oogling his tattooed forearms with his fresh baby cradled in the crook of one. Y/N couldn’t stop laughing, it was like a pot boiling over as she let out a genuine laugh at her daugher. That girl truly had no shame. Y/N watched Harry as he blushed, raisin ghte hand that wasn’t holding Ruth, and waving, shouting back. ”Hi darling!” A stream of giggles and embarrassed laughter rolled through the church, finding their little Elida absolutely adorable with her curly hair and crooked candlecrown.

-

As they stepped through their front door, with one sleepy child in each of their arms, Y/N and Harry smiled at eachother as they put Elida down for a nap after her big day. Ruth got changed and put in her crib for some downtime. The parents stepped out of their daughters bedrooms at the same time. ”You know,” Harry said as he walked up to Y/N. ”She’s absolutely insane, that girl, i don’t know if we’ll be able to keep up with her.” Y/N raised an eyebrow, eyeing him. ”Hmm, and i wonder where she gets that from?” Acting clueless as a big smile takes over her features. Harry bites down a laugh, looking down at the floor below them, grabbing Y/N to bring her close to him. ”She did really good.” He said, eyes still gleaming with pride. That was his daughter, His own flesh and blood becoming a person and growing up in front of their eyes, all too quickly, ”She did. I really hope she’ll take on the tradition and love it as much as we do. I have to say though, i thought maybe she would freak out when she saw the crowd, i’m surprised she didn’t care too much” Y/N said softly, knowing that Elida wasn’t nessicarily shy, but she could definitely become overwhelmed with that many people. Harry nodded, looking down at Y/N, a look in his eyes. ”Are you even listening to me?” Y/N laughed as she tilted her head, questioning him. ”Mhm, i’m listening. Just thinking.” He said, proceeding to hide his face in her neck, leaving a few soft kisses around her pulsepoint. ”Yeah? Penny for your thoughts?” She answered, genuinely interested if it was going to be a horny answer, or a lovey-dovey answer. ”I’m so in love with you. I’m so in love with our daughters. I want you to know that i’m not taking any of this for granted, not you, not these traditions, not our love. I just…i feel like my heart is bursting with all these emotions for you, Elida, and Ruth, that i sometimes don’t know where to put them.” He confessed, head still in her neck, crouched down, with Y/N’s hands running soft patterns on his back. This was indeed not a horny comment. She smiled, taking his face in her hands and looked at him. ”You put them here. With me, in our home, with our family. Write it down, take pictures, spend time. I know just the feelings you’re talking about. I feel it too. And although i sometimes have a hard time accepting that this actually is my life, i’m so thrilled about it. I love you, you know this, but…i promise to never stop putting my feelings here as long as you promise me the same.” She said, eyes scanning his features, landing on his forrest green eyes. ”I promise.” He said, leaning in to catch her lips with his. Warm, plushy lips dancing together, like they were made for eachother. ”I love you.” He told her between soft kisses, ”I’ll never stop, i don’t think i can.”

[contributingtothechaos]

Saw The Outsiders musical yesterday and thought I'd share my notes app rambles I wrote on the ride home after. These are just my favorite parts I'll make a separate one abt the things I missed/didnt like if anyone wants it. Spoilers below the cut

everything I loved abt it

• Intro almost exactly like in book

• Amazing singing from everyone

• The understudy who it was her first show was so good for her first time 

• The music was based off accurate music style for the time folk, bluegrass, Americana, rock

• They actually said fuck instead of "and than he said some words which aren't appropriate to print" or something like that

• Dallas>>>

• The slow motion was so so cool

• Repurposed the car for everything. Bed, table, concessions stand

• The girl greaser was great and really funny, could tell she was strong and had funny lines

• Drove a second car on stage??? Need to figure out how. Very cool

• Actually projected the movies onto back

• Reminded me of newsies alot

• The drowning scene actually insane

• The pounding sound when they were drowning him and the slo mo fighting from everyone else>>>

• The ringing every time he got knocked out 

• THE FAKE BLOOD oml

• Dude the party when they went to find dally was sorta crazy

• Dally is such a mom he's amazing

• The boards and tires for the train!!!

• Using the boards and tires so well for everything!!!

• Omfg the way they showed jonny's parents fighting projected shadows on the window

• The broken church window <3

• Ponyboy's hairrrrr nooooo the bleach blond😭😭😭

• THE LETTER FROM SODA OH MY GOD SO SAD, SUCH A GOOD SONG

• The smoke over the whole stage during the fire

• THE REAL ASS FIRE

• the way they use the boards and tires as a hospital bed

• OH MY FUCK THE FIGHT

• IT WAS SO COOL

• THE SLOW MOTION

• THE FLASHING LIGHTS

• THE WAY THEY ACTUALLY HAD IT "RAINING" ON THE STAGE

• THE MOVES TIMES WITHTHE FLASHING

• THE WAY THEY MAKE IT LOOK LIKE FIGHTING AND DANCING AT THE SAME TIME 

• hey hey hey what the hell was stay gold? That's what got me to start tearing up fr

• WHEN JONNY DIED

• all their reactions had me tearing

• WHAT THE FUCK DALLAS

• that train scene definitely didn't get me as hard as the book but it still hit

• THE FUCKING ENDING OF LITTLE BROTHER WHAT THE HELL

• DUDE THE TIME THEY DID SODA THE MOST JUSTICE WAS IN THAT SCENE WHERE PONY AND DALLY WERE FIGHTING 

• THATS WHEN I ACTUALLY STARTED CRYING WAS SODA YELLING AT THEM

• cherry bringing the letter from Jonny oml

• Them forgiving each other amd eating dinner together>>>>

• Him saying he started writing a story and letting darry read the beginning of it, it being the beginning of the book was so great

• And the the reprise with the last words of the book was so good

• All the other actors leaving the stage after bows and then ponyboy doubling back and grabbing green beans off the table and eating them idk just funny to me

• The actors were so nice outside and so was the crowd I was holding by playbill up in like the back of the crowd of like 20 ppl and he had ppl pass it up for me

• They were all nice and took pictures I felt bad and didn't want to crowd them or follow them it they were trying to leave

• Sodapops actor having a Soda bottle tattoo that I'm not sure was fake or to commemorate his first Broadway role. Also had the hat Soda wears in movie