#it really has been one of those weeks
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finally completed my comic based on the song ivy by taylor swift!✿ please zoom in to read the text and see the details~
✿.✿.✿
you can get the digital zine pdf here! it includes extras like character profiles, costume design, more art of willow and ivy, zine-exclusive sketches and an illustrated guide to the symbolism of all the flowers in this comic.
you can also get prints of individual pages here!
✿.✿.✿
#ivy comic#it's finally complete!!!♡ this was the longest project ever but i really wanted to do my best on every spread#i also worked really hard on the extra pages for the zine. i hope you like those as well if you decide to get it!#i've been wanting to make this comic since evermore came out in 2020 and i listened to ivy for the first time#i posted the first sketches from this comic on my patreon in 2022 and released the first page last year in 2023#so it's been a loooong time coming working on this in between other art#i was always disappointed that i got a hand injury back when i was making my dorothea/'tis the damn season comic#so i couldn't give my 100% on every page of that one. that's part of why i wanted to go all out for my ivy comic#and it has a happy ending this time!♡#thank you for sticking around if you've been reading since page 1#and thank you also if you just read it for the first time today!#also i didn't plan it but i coincidentally finished this comic exactly on lesbian visibility week. love that#ivy comic mimimar#oc#ivy#willow#taylor swift#taylor swift ivy#ivy taylor swift#evermore#illustration#illo#comic#lesbian#wlw#sapphic#lesbian visibility week#lesbian art#wlw art#sapphic art
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("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)
#svsss#bingqiu#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#lbh#sqq#i've been working through the series of unfortunate events and somehow that series has paired really nicely with svsss#the themes of cycling violence and what's justified and what isn't and what can possibly be done differently#and how trying to bring love and honour into the midst of it really changes nothing but also changes everything#it's just *chef's kiss*#i don't know how i can quite do my thoughts justice but i've spent the past few weeks quietly going between the two series (and mdzs and tg#as well if we're being honest they all hit similar questions and themes) and just reveling in the pain and ambiguity of it#everything is interconnected and it means you can never know what trauma and pain and necessity has shaped a person#each story goes too far back to ever ever EVER possibly see the full extent of it#at that level even communication itself is nearly impossible.#and because of that it's almost impossible to change anything. beat yourself apart and the outcome is the same#and yet ATTEMPTING to change things ATTEMPTING to do the kind thing the honourable thing is absolutely critical#because while you can change nothing you also have the capacity to change EVERYTHING#aaaaaaah i don't even know what i'm saying#but i read the beatrice letters today and the love letter just. killed me.#(obviously i cherrypicked some lines because it's three pages long but those ones felt right)#''i love you like a corpse loves a vulture's beak'' i just. can't get over that line.#to be completely changed. altered. destroyed. redeemed. purified. desecrated. reduced to nothing yet entirely necessary for another's life.#what a FUCKING line#anyway i was either going to blow up from thinking about it or else i had to exorcise it via art from an entirely different series#i've already done svsss and discworld why not throw a series of unfortunate events into the mix#i'll be honest folks i did not expect svsss to be the mxtx series that would fuck me up the most about the main ship#bingqiu is something else. i don't even know how to begin to approach my feelings on it. impossibility and necessity all at once#bizarre#my art
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Thank you all for an incredible 500 days of love and support. I offer you: answers to questions that no one has asked.
(As always, more can be found in the tags <3)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#a-qing#jin ling#wen ning#jiang cheng#“Hey wait this feels like there should have been way more content for questions” Yes. There was.#I was not strong enough to redraw *all* of what was lost. Rest in piece the original (lost to tea related accident)#But I'll tell you all the fun other things that would have been drawn out right here in the tags!#Did you know my longest posting streak was 61 days? And my longest hiatus was 6 days?#Did you know I missed posting on 92 days of those 500 days - meaning I posted 82% of the time on a daily basis?#I'm normal about collecting data. I have so much data on this blog for normal reasons. I'm also so normal about art. The normalest.#Honorable mention for the character rankings: Lan Wangji! for “Most improved in rank”.#Sorry Lan Wangji fans but until the audio drama I honestly was...pretty indifferent towards him.#I think a huge part of that was due to the fact he's constantly paired up with WWX; who has *so* much charisma and steals the scene#But I've really come to like him a lot more since starting this project. He rose from mid-tier to being in the top ten!#Dishonorable mention: Nie Huaisang. Who fell out of number 1 spot and out of the top 5.#He just hasn't shown up a lot! And my rankings are fickle! They will probably change once I finish the third season!#My favourite comics are: A lot of them! And the ones I have yet to make!#I'm very sleepy at the moment while writing this but I do want to give a huge shout out to YOU.#Yeah! you reading this! Thank you! If you've been here since the first week or just started reading: THANK YOU!#If you've only ever lurked and never even liked a single post but still read my comics: THANK YOU!!#In creating this blog - I have found 500 days of more happiness that I could have ever imagined.#Thank you for joining me on this journey. Thank you for giving me your time and your support.#It means more than any 'thank you' could say B'*)
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man, it's a hot one like seven inches from the midday sun
(now available at my shop!)
#happy first day of fall ngl i'm really excited about the week of rain in my local forecast lmao#trigun#trigun anime#trigun fanart#vash#vash the stampede#wolfwood#nicholas d. wolfwood#vashwood#this is one of those doodles i've been wanting to make of these two since 2018 and only recently realized i can Just Do That now fdjghdk#fellas is it gay to be privately Very nosy about the fact ur best friend has never ever taken his coat off in front of you
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I'm curious, how would your Suns design look during more serious situations, such as one of the Spearmaster broadcasts?
something like this
and now for a (slightly long) addendum: i know i depict SRS as jokey and kooky, but when it comes to not shitposting and actual characterization, i have Thoughts and Feelings about them. the entire story, they just want to do what they hope will help the people around them, even though it all ends up horribly, HORRIBLY wrong. that's tragic, and it has my interest. considering the heaviness (and intrigue) of SRS’s storyline, for me to only ever depict them as a goofball be way too shallow of me, and unfaithful to their canon characterization.
so to answer your question: they hold themselves together, of course, but the shame, regret, and embarrassment is still evident.
#i dont wanna get my characterization of srs from other peoples headcanons#but im admittedly a little too preoccupied to sit down and meticulously comb through their dialogue to see what each sentence reveals#my srs personality is usable but its not as detailed and tailored as id like it to be yknow#cause. just. MAN i really need to sit down and obsessively pore over those broadcasts and pearls sometime okay#also not saying that looking at other headcanons is bad. it set me straight way back when on a couple of my own minorly dogshit ones i had-#-when i didnt have a full grasp of the story#but i also just want to come to my own conclusions on srs#UGH. rain world is so good. the horrible events that happen dont happen because of some big bad shallow villain#but just people making bad decisions sometimes. because of concern. because of desperation. because of love. which happens with people.#auuuugh#my art#ask#rainworld#wait why has this been sitting in my drafts for over a week? be free my child. ill schedule this to post in an hour or something
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id probably have more success as an elden ring/fromsoft artist but alas, my heart still belongs to the legend of zeldas most unpopular villain, oh well..
chapter 2 rough draft is approaching 70 pages, im confident i can start painting it this week :3
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#its both a blessing and a curse to be like what feels like the only one who genuinely cares/draws demise lol#like if it was at least ganondorf!! he has multiple games and is pretty easily recognized#anyway .. i wanted to get the rough draft done today but the weekend just has fewer hours than the work week#so .... if i can get it done this week i might be able to start painting#if painting works that is#so if i can make that happen at least it wasnt a FULL year since i started to work on chapter 2#haha ... jesus christ its really been that long#i feel like i could really use one of those openly asking for motivation posts but i have done that one too many times i feel like#they have a limit how many times you can use it and i think i realized that too late so now im just#man i sure feel like shit but thats no ones fault but mine so i shouldnt be bothering anyone#nhdkgjvndfkjgndfjk
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Imagine if you were a gay or bi man who tried a certain firefighter show because of all the attention it was getting for one of its mains having a later in life bi awakening.....and between seasons you ventured into its fandom in search of material to tide you over til the next one. And you're greeted by a deluge of posts and fics that are just cheerfully homophobic towards one half of the newly out bi character's canon relationship on the basis of 'well he's not the RIGHT gay guy' and pushing the idea that actually its fine to cheat on him because Reasons and he's sexually predacious based on......behind the scenes implications people have divined like they're reading fucking tea leaves.
But don't get it twisted....this fandom, like all fandoms, really cares about representation!
Sorry not sorry, but we really need to kill this idea that fandoms are welcoming and inviting and inherently progressive when they're frequently insular and reductive as fuck. Every single fandom I've been in has had major trends of people doubling down on their own headcanons and fanon interpretations of the characters and willfully enacting trends aimed at running off people who like the 'wrong' characters (usually characters marginalized along one or multiple axes), like the characters in the 'wrong ways' or other bullshit.
Scott is a Bad Friend fics overtaking Teen Wolf fandom was not incidental, it was a FEATURE of the fandom, because the vast majority of that fandom did not want to share its space with anyone who had the nerve to like its main character. Survivors complaining about or criticizing the prevalance of rape fics in a certain fandom has in my experience always led to a reactionary UPTICK in those fics, with gems like 'this character can, will, must be raped' in the tags making it crystal clear that some of these fics exist because how fucking DARE anyone try and push forth a narrative not agreed upon by Fandom Main.
I could cite examples for so many other fandoms, with the commonalities always being that vast majorities in these fandoms are explicitly reacting defensively to being asked to be more mindful of fandom trends revolving around or exacerbating racism, homophobia, transphobia, rape or abuse apologia, ableism, etc....
With the most prolific fucking rallying cry across countless fandoms being "No the fuck we will NOT be doing that," because lolololol.....
Fandom is an inherently progressive space, didn't you hear?
#anyway this has been on my mind in general for a few weeks now#and its more about fandoms just being fandoms#and like....what if they werent though#these patterns migrate from one to another as fans migrate from fandom to fandom bringing their bullshit with them#like do people never get tired of just trying to call DIBS and claim fandoms for themselves while shutting out anyone else#who might have a lot to fucking offer if you werent being so gd intent on staking a claim instead of sharing perspectives#and exploring new possibilities?#and I know not everyone links certain problems with racist homophobic and other behaviors to my own issues with dark fic and rape and#abuse apologia but I do inherently see it as sharing large portions of venn diagrams even though I do not consider being a survivor to be#something that demarcates privilege in the way that axes of identity do#as its situationally based rather than inherently identity based#but the way it can affect and shape large parts of peoples' identities begets commonalities#but my point is just.....a big part of why I so often lump it in is specifically because of how people react to these things or#defend against criticism across the board#like most people know my stance on censorship and how my blood boils when its people who are throwing accusations of#censorship at those raising criticisms....#but the point is just.....think about what censorship actually IS in all practical senses of the word#its about shutting down conversations. limiting the flow of information the sharing of perspectives and experiences#THATS WHAT MAKES IT BAD#now......what about criticism inherently lends itself to any of those things if you DONT accept as a foregone conclusion that criticism#is only ever offered up in bad faith and meant as a silencing tactic#instead of just a request or offered avenue of ways for things to be done better rather than not at all?#who is ACTUALLY out here trying to shut down convos and limit possibilities?#is it really the people being critical of fandom behaviors and trends?#or the ones doubling down at the first hint of any criticism and aggressively ramping up how frequently and visibly they engage in#the criticized behaviors in efforts to drive people away or as a silencing tactic of their own?#just saying
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in the TRENCHES 🥂
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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did you ever notice how merry doesn't actually volunteer for the quest? pippin is the one who assumes he and merry will go, gandalf vouches for them both, but merry doesn't say a word for the entire encounter. it's a stark difference from his insistence on going with frodo in the conspiracy chapter, and i think it's because he's totally lost his confidence. in the beginning, he's very confident and fully believes he'll be able to lead the group through the old forest to bree with no trouble, and then they all almost die twice basically immediately. notice that when they get to bree, he refuses to go to the prancing pony with the others, deciding instead to stay in their room alone? and then of course he gets attacked by nazgul, which definitely doesn't help matters. i think by the time they get to Rivendell, he no longer believes himself capable of helping frodo. he'll do it, obviously, if frodo or gandalf or elrond or pippin ask him to, but i think he's at a point where he no longer believes he'll be any good.
#lotr#i've been trying to write this since the day i got admitted to hospital (over a week ago) bc it is a deeply held conviction i have#that i've never really seen anyone else talk about? to the point where tolkien prof corey olsen says merry doesn't have a crisis of#confidence until AFTER pippin in the chapter with the wolves and i disagree so so strongly#he does a lot of 'hm interesting that merry doesn't want to hang out with the others in bree. interesting that he doesn't volunteer for the#quest.' and i'm like dude!! the crisis of confidence has already happened!! you missed it my guy!!!!!#it's one of those things where like. we all know merry's arc is about confidence so you assume he already has low confidence but no!#he's VERY confident! he founds the conspiracy bc he believes frodo needs his specific skills to be successful! he believes in himself!!#and it's not until his plans almost get them killed that he has this crisis. anyway.#lotr meta#merry brandybuck
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also here's two terrible photos of what ive been knitting this week:
there's too many stitches so i cant stretch it out properly, and the construction makes it hard to really show it off. also im in bed so it's the best i can do right now.
anyhow this is clue 1 of Stephen West's Go Go Dynamo MKAL, which im two weeks behind on but it's fine. it's been fun so far, minus the 'bubbles', which are the bane of my existence.
#im a stockinette hater (when worked flat. truthfully im a purl hater even though i Norwegian purl)#but it really has been fun#i truly dont know how this man comes up with this stuff#my mom is also making one in shades of blue#technically we're only supposed to use two colors but that's not something either of us are capable of#i thought about putting the pics under a readmore bc it's an MKAL but idk how big a deal it is here#like on ig or ravelry id use the placeholder image but like. i dont think anyone here will really be 'spoiled' for it yknow?#if im wrong let me know#oh and to those who have no idea wtf im talking about#every year stephen west does an Mystery Knit Along#with 'clues' (parts of the pattern) released every week and the idea is you dont know what you're making when you start#it will be a shawl but we have no idea how it will be constructed or what stitch patterns will be used or what it will look like#(my mom and i always wait until week 2 or 3 to see what it starts as bc we've been had in the past by a different designer)#clue 4 comes out next week and we have no idea where it's gonna go#theyre fun even though we cheat lol#anywayy#knitting#ks talks
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"See you tomorrow"
MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 4 [prev parts]
#better drawn mdzs#MDZS Disco Elysium AU#mdzs au#Lan wangji#wei wuxian#yiling laozu#Happy Belated Halloween!#digital art#Thank you all for your patience as I drove myself into a madness only known by those lost at seas alone.#I put a lot of time into this one! It's not perfect but I am very happy with it + I am so happy to put down the tablet pen.#Digital art has some nice features but I'm sticking with traditional! I need a month to recover from the 2+ weeks of torture.#Okay lets talk about the AU and the comic now#Disco elysium has some of the best existential-horror-dream sequences I have ever seen.#The dialogue here is heavily inspired by The Final Dream - A scene I'd love to talk about more were it not so heavy with spoilers.#My AU is a lot more complex than a simple character swap but I really felt like LWJ + YLLZ fit this scene.#The final dream is about being unable to move on from a lost love. From something You made holy. From something You ruined.#It is about realizing that no matter how smart you are or what you offer or how you try to change -#You will never be able to turn back time. You will never ever be able to fix what is broken. That you also have been broken for a long time#You are a fuck-up who worships the nail covered ground of someone who did not want to be holy. And even though it hurts-#You cannot let this nightmare go. The pain keeps the love close. It is worse to forget. You promised to remember.#WWX died thinking LWJ disliked him. LWJ lost someone he thought was revolted by his love.
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ran into my first student using chatgpt and honestly i was gonna be mad until i thought harder about Why he was using chatgpt and i was like well. that part of the assignment was kind of useless bullshit anyway so yk what that’s on me. consider it gone.
#i think having a new frame of mind while teaching this semester has been sooooo helpful for me#because any time something doesn’t go the way i planned i’m like ok what’s going on here. what’s not clicking#and i think Because my class is so open-ended and i really encourage them to write as genuinely and honestly as they’d like to#most people do end up doing that. like genuinely that’s the only use of chatgpt i’ve spotted in four weeks of class#and ofc that won't Always be the case but most of the time i have to think like#ok am i giving them too tight deadlines or too much work at once#or is the assignment description confusing or is it just busywork that i've assigned for no reason#and i think framing it along those lines. has Reallllllllllllly helped#bc i know for a fact my class is one of the most engaged rn out of the department#literally like almost perfect attendance perfect assignment rate everyone meeting the requirements#and i'm proud of it!!#i really want them to Learn yk and. hopefully they are#anyway. just something to think about
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post may or may not be cringe, but we're rolling with it 🤙🏼
I dreaded having to do this (again) all year long, but guess who's going on a semi-hiatus!!!! hint: me ☝🏻 (I'll call it semi bc I'll prob be lurking around here and there still, lmao)
most of you may know, but I've been super busy with school lately given that I'm graduating this year, sooo I'm predicting it rn I won't be able to write anything for a while 😞
it's not that I don't have free time at all, it's just that everything that's been on my mind lately is shoolschoolschool, and I almost never think of anything else 😭 + I can't find it in myself to have the mental capacity to balance everything I have going on here and aiming to be at the podium once graduation comes around
though I will be posting chapter 6 of push & pull this week, AND maybe a teaser for score his heart?? but idk, we'll see! if I do end up posting both of those, I think that'll be it for a while
I'm so sorry to be letting anyone down, especially those who have been enjoying my ongoing series so far</3 I promise that once I make the time to write in between school and my social life outside of tumblr, I'll be back to writing/posting better than ever!!
I'll just take this opportunity to thank everyone for supporting me and my works this past summer vacation!! I truly believe I wouldn't have been able to survive the summer heat without you all 🤕
thank you all so so much, I hope you understand!! as I mentioned, I'll still be lurking around the app and answering asks/messages if necessary!! I LOVE YOU ALL SOOO MUCH, I'LL BE BACK BETTER THAN EVER, I PROMISE!!<33
#I FEEL TERRIBLE HAVING TO DO THIS:((#this really is what I've been avoiding to do since summer came around huhu#but at the same time it just feels right#i don't want to just disappear on you guys bc idk how to balance my time#again!!!! I'll be posting push & pull chapter 6#and maybe maybe a score his heart teaser both this week#then that'll be it for I think a few weeks?#I also made this post for the sole purpose of those that has sent me asks#and if u guys haven't noticed#I've been answering asks super duper late lately huhu#just bc i really do have a lot on my plate rn I'm so sorry 😞😞😞😞#I really hope everyone understands!!#and I'LL SAY IT AGAIN!!#ILY ALL SO MUCH#I'LL BE BACK AND WRITING SOON TRUST!!#also yk like#we have a career assessment test tomorrow#and i SWEAR if i don't get civil engineering for one of my top career options#I'm gonna flip out#I've always planned to be a civil engineer PLEASE LET ME HAVE THIS#PLEASE PELAEE LELASE#oki that's all from me for now MWAH<33#🖇️frans; [ yaps !! ]
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Tumblr the world is quiet at this very moment so I offer a random photo from my Phone gallery into the world
#madi rambles#no one is online/really active atm so like it's time to do one (1) silly thing before I go read fanfics and that silly thing is showing off#my tiny ducks! and my Gengar Eraser! and my hot coco mug that has not been used for hot coco since like last week#oh any I guess my stack of books but we don't gotta talk about those#i'm so behind on them it's bad#Ru was the one who sent me the ducks <3 it's great love my duck children
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