#it probably needed that covid delay....

[gikairan]

I have no idea if scarlet/ violets performance issues are down to

- the hardware not being powerful enough to run the vision for the game.

- performance of Pokémon games has been rough since the 3ds, implying game freak is generally Not Very Good at optimising for 3d. Still.

- a dev cycle of 3-4 years is just NOT enough time to make this kind of game in.

All I know is I don't want to see gen 10 in 3 years time.....

Another year of dev time would most likely smooth out a lot of these issues for the next gen. Usually, large open world games have 5+ year dev cycles. Scarlet/ violet would have started development in the last year of SwShs?

This is the IP that has grossed the highest income. There's a lot of eyeballs on this series. Another year of dev time is not going to break the bank.

The game is Very Good. And largely the glitches I'm seeing are considered "non game breaking", and would have been in the "we know about it, and it's not a priority to be fixed before launch" pile. But the public is just going to see "oh it's broken" (in the grand scheme of things that go wrong in game development, none of these bugs are THAT bad). It's forever going to tar these games now.

Game Freak need to just... Be given enough time to get gen 10 On Form. SV is an excellent leap forward for the series, but the next one needs to be Stable out of the gate. 3 years between releases is no longer viable, please give the next one a bit more time to cook.

[project-sekai-facts]

Only one date is ever mentioned in-game, that being 2021. Considering that the Virtual Singer Fan Festa seems to be a stand-in for Magical Mirai 2021, we can assume that the Scramble Fan FESTA! event takes place in September 2021 (the real-life MM2021 was delayed to November due to covid-19, but the pandemic doesn't exist in-universe and MM Tokyo usually takes place at the beginning of September). There are Leo/need Daily Life social media posts that show them attending Magical Mirai, and do state the year of the event, but these can be considered promotional material for the event itself rather than canon material, especially since the characters address in-game that only one year has passed since the start of the story (despite the fact they have celebrated new year's day 4 times now. Timeloop things).

Based on this date, we can actually place exactly when every main character was born. The cutoff date for Japanese schools is April 1st, making Ena the oldest main character, being a 3rd year with a birthday of April 30th, followed by Tsukasa on May 17th, so on so forth all the way down to Kohane, a 2nd year with a birthday of March 2nd.

Considering when Scramble Fan FESTA is set, Ena, who was a 2nd year at the time, would be 17 years old. That would place her date of birth as April 30th, 2004. Additionally, while Kohane, a first year at the time, should be 15 during the event, the game considers her to be 16 due to using a set age for every grade bracket. Regardless, the event setting places her date of birth as March 2nd, 2006.

Based on this, we can conclude that:

Ena, Tsukasa, Rui, and Shizuku were born in 2004

Mafuyu, Kanade, Airi, Minori, Saki, Toya, Nene, An, Ichika, Mizuki, Emu, Haruka, Honami, and Akito were born in 2005

Shiho and Kohane were born in 2006

This also means that Ena, Tsukasa and Rui are all older than the MEIKO software (released November 5th 2004), and everyone except Kohane is older than the KAITO software (released February 17th 2006). Every main character is older than Miku, the Kagamines, and Luka based on this information.

Using the information around set ages*, we can also work out rough estimates for when the side characters were born. For example, Arata, who was 19 during the first 3 years of the game, is 3 years older than the members of VBS who were all considered to be 16. Since the members of VBS were born in the April 2005 - April 2006 school year range, Arata was likely born in the 2002-2003 school year range.

* based on how characters like Youta and Miu, who are said to be the same age as Leo/need, were both confirmed to be 16 years old before the 3rd anniversary age-up. Also Haruka's age is confirmed as 16 at a point in time when she shouldn't be 16. Timeloop things.

Based on this, the oldest living side character, Kounosuke, who was 55 pre-3rd anniversary and 39 years older than Emu, was probably born between April 1966 and April 1st 1967. On the younger side of things, Hanano, who was 14 pre-3rd anni, was likely born between April of 2007 and 2008. I've put the rest of the estimated side character DOBs under the cut.

assumed age as of 3rd anniversary in brackets (literally just pre-age-up age + 1)

Rakunosuke Otori - April 2nd 1922 ~ April 1st 1923 (98 (at time of death. would be 100 if still alive))

Kounosuke Otori - April 2nd 1966 ~ April 1st 1967 (56)

Jean Riley - 1967~1968 (55)

Harumichi Aoyagi - 1968~1969 (54)

Shin'ei Shinonome - 1973~1974 (49)

Mr Yoisaki - 1975~1976 (47)

Ken Shiraishi - 1978~1979 (44)

Taiga Kotaki - 1978~1979 (44)

Mrs Asahina - 1980~1981 (42)

Yoshiki Shindou - 1982~1983 (40)

Yuuka Kazamatsuri - 1990~1991 (32)

Keisuke Otori - 1991~1992 (31)

Shousuke Otori - 1994~1995 (28)

Daigo Kijima - 1994~1995 (28)

Tatsuya Okazaki - 1999~2000 (23)

Yuuki Akiyama - 1999~2000 (23)

Ayaka Saito - 2001~2002 (21)

Hinata Otori - 2001~2002 (21)

Iori - 2002~2003 (20)

Mio - 2002~2003 (20)

Arata Tono - 2002~2003 (20)

Souma Miyata - 2002~2003 (20)

Asahi Genbu - 2003~2004 (19)

Kotaro Mita - 2004~2005 (18)

Sakurako Seiryuin - 2004~2005 (18)

Nanami "Nanamin" Hayakawa - 2004~2005 (18)

Futaba Natsuno - 2004~2005 (18)

Arisa Higure - 2004~2005 (18)

Ayumi Tabata - 2004~2005 (18)

Hibiki Miyake - 2004~2005 (18)

Shuuta Hayashi - 2004~2005 (18)

Ibuki Taniyama - 2004~2005 (18)

Yuina Uchiyama - 2005~2006 (17)

Shouta Hayashi - 2005~2006 (17)

Miu Takagi - 2005~2006 (17)

Youta Yoshizaki - 2005~2006 (17)

Riho Hasegawa - 2005~2006 (17)

Saku Kousaka - 2005~2006 (17)

Mai - 2006~2007 (16)

Hanano Yoshizaki - 2007~2008 (15)

Additional notes (mod is rambling atp):

Rakunosuke died when he was 98 years old. In the WxS main story, Emu says that he died a year ago. Assuming Emu was 15 at the time, they have an age gap of around 83 years. The year of birth listed here was based on that assumption.

We know that Kanade's mother died aged 30, but we do not know when she died. She is still alive in flashbacks set roughly 10 years prior to the events of game.

In the third fanbook, ages were given for Mrs Asahina, Shindou, Yuuki, Asahi, and Arisa as one year less than they are given in this post. The reason for me adding a year on is because of the confirmation in a livestream of Daigo's age being 27. Daigo is meant to be the same age as Shousuke, whose age was given as 27 prior to the 3rd anniversary. When his age was provided on stream, he was grouped with the 5 I mentioned earlier. Based on this we can assume that all their ages are taken from the same time frame, i.e, pre-3rd anni (and this also confirms that NPCs inexplicably don't age but we'll ignore that for continuity reasons).

We do not have confirmed ages for Nagi, Reki, Sakaki, Ohara, MMJ's landlady, Mafuyu's father, Hiiragi, or the members of ReLight yet

Rui suggests that Reki is the same age as him in A Story Where You Are The Star while talking about both him and Asahi in the same sentence. Asahi was since confirmed as 18/19, so it is likely that Reki is also around that age.

Nagi's age is left blank in the fanbook due to it not being revealed that she was dead at the time of publication. She is younger than Taiga, but we don't know by how much, but nonetheless she was likely born in the early 1980s. It is unlikely we will ever know her exact age.

Ohara is stated to be in his mid-30s, placing his birth year as somewhere in the 1980s, likely around 1986-1989. Sakaki is an old college friend of Ohara's, so he is likely a similar age.

No NPCs are given exact birthdays

[anim-ttrpgs]

Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy July 11th Update, Wolfmania, Our Biggest Update Yet!

This update was delayed by about one week, but I think everyone will find that this was well worth it, as this has been our most significant update ever to the rulebook and general content of Eureka. Where do I even begin?

Maybe I’ll start with the best part. For a limited time, this update is FREE! You can grab a PDF from the A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club Discord server from now (July 11th 2024) until the next book club round starts! (Which will probably be about a month.)

Here’s just a few of the highlights for this update, you’ll find the full changelog below.

Major cleanup and copy-editing is underway again finally, and we managed to eliminate 42 pages of unnecessary blank space and extraneous text, as well as rewording and reorganizing many rules sections to make them clearer and easier to read. You now only have to read 20 pages before the first mention of how to roll dice, rather than 70.

Ten new character traits.

A PC’s Wealth stat now has a much greater effect on them in more areas of gameplay.

A ton of new art assets.

A bunch of massive improvements to combat that make it flow smoother with fewer interruptions, some of these improvements will be discussed in detail in their own post.

Repurposed Chapter 7 into being a chapter dedicated to GMing and homebrew.

Huge cleanups to the supernatural chapter.

Some changes to monsters overall to make them more modular and less restrictive in character creation.

Two new playable “supernatural” “creatures.”

Two new mage traits as well. (Which also double as two new spells for the witch)

The weaknesses of a vampire are now a bit more subjective and modular. For instance, in character creation you can trade off a greater sensitivity to garlic for a more potent sense of smell, or a lesser sensitivity to garlic for a weaker sense of smell. Vampires are now also explicitly thematically tied to religion, religious trauma, and religious horror.

Wolfmania! The wolfman monster now has different transformation options during character creation. You now choose your wolfman PC’s partial wolf transformation and full wolf transformation, with four options for each. There are some major narrative trade-offs for different combinations but I’ll let you figure that out for yourself.

Then, there is "The Eye of Neptune." "The Eye of Neptune" is a Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy adventure module that has languished in an unfinished state for like six months, but we finally got it like 99% complete. The only thing missing are the maps and the artwork, which it is fully playable without.

Man has built a city of steel and black blood atop the endless abyss. It is a beating heart bound together with labyrinthian pipe veins. Hundreds of miles away from civilization, it stands in the midst of the Gulf of Mexico with naught but empty horizons around it. Within is a vast structure of winding halls, grinding machinery, and thousands upon thousands of small parts working to achieve a grand design. It is the Offshore Oil Rig Neptune, and it was once run by 200 workers. Now, in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, it has fallen to more or less a dozen. These last vestiges of life in the rig spread themselves thin and work their hands to the bone to keep the massive beast running. In the midst of this overwhelming isolation, two members of the already shorthanded crew are unaccounted for, Seth Barlowe and Lukas Ward. The installation manager, Noah, has convened a meeting to try to find out what happened to him. With the crew already severely shorthanded and tensions running high, a mysterious disappearance is the last thing anyone needs. 

You can get a copy of The Eye of Neptune, as well as another adventure module, several stories, and continuous monthly rulebook updates from our Patreon for only $5/month!

Now here's the full changelog! I'm mercifully putting it under a Read More because it's our longest one yet!

CHANGE LOG 

Copy-editing Progress: Thoroughly copy-edited up to p. 47.

CHAPTER 1

Better clarified how Heat increases.

Minor edit to Role of the Narrator.

Changed the name of Chapter 1 to “Core Gameplay Rules”

Minor tweak/clarification to what happens with a 7-9 on a Heat roll.

Instead of +1 Heat when the villain is in league with the police, Heat now simply does not decrease for the duration of the adventure. 

Heat rolls are now made whenever an investigator’s Heat increases by 3 or more within a single scene, rather than being made on multiples of 3 Heat.

Added another entry to the list of how Heat can increase

How much Heat an investigator starts the adventure with is now based on their Wealth stat.

Minor sentence reworks

Added a more detailed story of A.N.I.M. and Eureka’s history to the foreword

Moved Verisimilitude section out of Foreword down below Inspirations 

Moved “Deadly Combat, Permanent Consequences” to Chapter 3 above Grievous Wounds

Moved the “Monsters” section of the foreword to Chapter 8

Better clarified starting Heat

Lots of copy-editing and minor twinning, additions, and tweaks

Fixed the Quick Term definition for Truth being inaccurate.

Moved a bunch of sections from Chapter 1 to Chapter 7, including Heat

CHAPTER 2

Fixed the Believer Snoop accidentally being put with the Woo-Woo trait

Tweaked the None of My Business Trait

Changed Traits section to “Mundane Trait List”

Changed the amount of Penetrative HP for Not Finished Yet trait to 13 instead of 10

Added holster to item list.

Found out bump stocks are no-longer illegal 

Added “It’s for a Book” trait 

Added “Moneybags” trait

Added “The Ascot” trait 

Added “Gang Way!” trait 

Added “Dangerprone Damsel” trait

Added “Master of Disguise” Trait.

Added “Ninja” Trait

Added “Quick Draw” trait

Edited the Food Budget item to be more clear

Changed it so that guns no-longer come with bullets, these must be bought separately

Changed having +2 Wealth to “middle class” and +3 Wealth to “upper middle class,” to better describe how the Wealth skill actually influences the game

The formula for calculating WP is now 3D6+6+[Wealthx2]

Increased the WP price for certain items to reflect the above change

Added “Frugal” trait 

Added “Kleptomaniac” trait

Added art of example investigator Nick Morgan

Moved a bunch of sections from Chapter 2 to Chapter 7

Moved some stuff about investigators losing items to Chapter 7

Moved some stuff about homebrewing traits into Chapter 7

Changed the name of Chapter 2 to “How to Make an Investigator” because now all the NPC stuff is moved to Chapter 7

Better clarified skills

Changed the heading “Additional Traits” to “Choosing More Than Three Traits”

CHAPTER 3

Added clarification that sometimes it does matter whether a weapon is a blunt weapon, a piercing weapon, or a cutting weapon, and we trust players to be able to intuit what types of weapons are what.

Made animal teeth and animal claws separate entries on the weapon list

Better clarified when Speed needs to be calculated and when it doesn't

Explained what a node map is

Removed the rules for doing turn order based on Reflexes rolls, and finally made it so that Epicenter Initiative works with firearms combat.

Added rules for equipping weapons during combat

You now add Acceleration bonus to Athletics rolls for characters moving long distances in theater of the mind combat. Need to go around and remove the special speeds for various supernatural characters. 

Added a section that explains why so many pages is dedicated to combat despite this game being an investigation game primarily

Added art of some small knives

Put “Deadly Combat, Permanent Consequences” to this chapter instead of the Foreword

CHAPTER 4

Added some art to the gun information list 

Made Fully Automatic Fire have a hard limit of 12 bullets per attack. 

Added Quick Cycling rule, allowing characters with a +2 or more in Firearms to fire Two-round Bursts with Single-Action and Repeating firearms.

CHAPTER 5

Added rule for ride-by attacks to basic melee attack

Better clarified Escape

Attempts to disarm a character now have bonuses or penalties based on the difference between the Athletics skill of the two characters involved, similar to how Escape attempts work. 

CHAPTER 6

Clarified that Acceleration is not affected by Composure

Tiny tweak to how chases are described

Better clarified when Speed needs to be calculated and when it doesn't

CHAPTER 7

Added “How We Play Eureka” section explaining which optional rules we personally do and don't prefer

Changed the name of Chapter 7 to “Advanced Narration and Homebrewing”

Added a ton of stuff from other chapters to Chapter 7 to make it a general chapter for Narrators as well as help with game/module design and homebrewing. It is currently a little bit of a mess but is at least serviceable until we get to the point where we can fully copy-edit it.

CHAPTER 8

Minor vampire tweaks

Made it so that that the vampire sensitivity to certain scents is more codified and now causes composure rolls, and now works more like their compulsion to count things in that the placement of the weakness on their tiers of fear determines how much of a bonus they have to Senses checks involving smell and taste. 

Adjusted Even Monsters are Afraid of Something section to reflect the above changes 

Added more mechanics for how NPC vampires interact mechanically with weaknesses. 

Better clarified the full moon roll for wolfmen. It is now just 1D12+1. 

Better codified superhuman strength as a rule.

Gave the math for handling consistent HP across alternate supernatural forms its own section.

Completely redid the wolfman wolf forms. Now during character creation players can choose one of four options for each of the wolfman’s wolf forms, each with their own advantages and disadvantages. Up to 16 possible combinations! Wolfmania!

Improved the werewolf trait to fit with the updates to wolfman

Adjusted wolf manifestation of vampire to fit with new wolfman rules. 

Better clarified vampire claws

Added Supernatural Bonuses and Investigation Rolls section

Tweaked wolfman involuntary transformation so that the form they rampage in is still random even if they are already in a wolf form when the rampage starts

Changed stats of vampire’s bat manifestation

Better clarified vampire sunlight and silver weakness mechanics

Totally revamped vampire’s monstrous beast manifestation 

Redid the Superhuman Speed mage trait, made it a lot better 

Improved the Stealth bonus of the Invisibility mage trait

Improved Stealth bonuses of thing from beyond.

Added a “Purpose” mechanic to living dolls, which is what the doll in question was built to do. When they act towards this purpose, they get +1 to rolls, and when they fail or otherwise ignore their purpose, they may lose Composure. 

Updated Even Monsters are Afraid of Something section to reflect the above

Made it so wolfmen lose 2 Composure from skipping a meal instead of 1.

Clarified that the thing from beyond does not need to stay in human shape the entire time they are digesting a human victim. 

Clarified the possibility of escaping from a monstrous supernatural beast’s stomach for both the giant wolfman forms and the monstrous vampire manifestation. 

Clarified Telekinesis trait

Added “Manifest Weaponry” Mage Trait

Added “Incredible Strength” Mage Trait

Added ability for an investigator to be a talking dog.

Changed “wannabe monster hunter” to just “monster hunter” and added a new sidebar

Rewriting large chunks of the first half of chapter 8, redefining each type of supernatural investigator, and adding a fourth category of investigator. Work in progress

Monster investigators now only require 18 investigation points instead of 21. 

Removed “Is this a monster or a mage” section. This is no-longer needed now that these categories are more clearly defined. 

Removed blood sacrifice from the witch’s true nature and just committed to making it be about cannibalism and about using magic–any of their magic–for petty and/or entirely selfish reasons. 

Gave witches a proper weakness

Changed the name of the witch to Fairytale Witch

Moved Alternative Witch into the misc. category

Removed large chunks of chapter 8 that were either no-longer needed or had become so outdated as to be contradictory to other rules

Vampires now gain 1 additional point of Composure for every 5 Morale or Composure damage they do to their victim during an attack, to better codify how they feed on human suffering as much as the literal blood they drink.

Added the “Monsters” section of the Foreword to this chapter instead

Changed the name of the Thing From Beyond’s “Shapeshifter” trait to “Imposter Syndrome”

Moved some stuff about homebrewing traits into Chapter 7

Elegantly designed and thoroughly playtested, Eureka represents the culmination of three years of near-daily work from our team, as well as a lot of our own money. If you’re just now reading this and learning about Eureka for the first time, you missed the crowdfunding window unfortunately, but our Kickstarter page is still the best place to learn more about what Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy actually is, as that is where we have all the fancy art assets, the animated trailer, links to video reviews by podcasts and youtubers, and where we post regular updates on the status of our progress finishing the game and getting it ready for final release.

Beta Copies through the Patreon

If you want more than just status updates, going forward you can download regularly updated playable beta versions of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy and it’s adventure modules by subscribing to our Patreon at the $5 tier or higher. Subscribing to our patreon also grants you access to our patreon discord server where you can talk to us directly and offer valuable feedback on our progress and projects.

The A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club

If you would like to meet the A.N.I.M. team and even have a chance to play Eureka with us, you can join the A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club discord server. It’s also just a great place to talk and discuss TTRPGs, so there is no schedule obligation, but the main purpose of it is to nominate, vote on, then read, discuss, and play different indie TTRPGs. We put playgroups together based on scheduling compatibility, so it’s all extremely flexible. This is a free discord server, separate from our patreon exclusive one. https://discord.gg/7jdP8FBPes

Other Stuff

We also have a ko-fi and merchandise if you just wanna give us more money for any reason.

We hope to see you there, and that you will help our dreams come true and launch our careers as indie TTRPG developers with a bang by getting us to our base goal and blowing those stretch goals out of the water, and fight back against WotC's monopoly on the entire hobby. Wish us luck.

[ladyamanda123]

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus - My Analysis

Your hologram stumbled into my apartment

Hands in the hair of somebody in darkness named Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

And I just watched it happen

This line SCREAMS Kaylor! Karlie lived with her. She had a Karlie room in her apartment. I can absolutely picture a scenario where before they are “together” Karlie is bringing people home to Taylor’s apartment and Taylor is lying in bed just dying inside listening to it happen. It calls back to Hits Different with “I hear your key turn in the door” and Cornelia Street with “But then you called, showed your hand” line where there has clearly been an argument. That argument could have been Taylor losing it about Karlie bringing people home and then Karlie calling Taylor and confessing her feelings for her and the rest is Kaylor history!

As the decade would play us for fools

And you saw my bones out with somebody new

Who seemed like he would've bullied you in school

And you just watched it happen

Its quite literally been 10 years since the start of Kaylor. They officially met in 2013 and this album drops on 2024. Now Karlie is stuck watching Taylor beard with 🏈….the perfect representation of the dickwad football bro that would bully kids in school.

If you want to break my cold, cold heart

Just say, 'I loved you the way that you were'

If you want to tear my world apart

Just say you've always wondered

Years of bearding, distance, lies, etc HAS to have taken a massive toll. If they’ve been together this whole time there’s no way to that hasn’t been hard AF. If they split and then eventually came back together this will have still been all hard AF. Either way, whatever you think the reality might be, this decade has sucked! The idea of them looking back and who they were before this all blew up and saying….what could our life had been like if we hadn’t made these decisions. If we had been brave. If we had had control. If we had done this different. The hindsight must sting something horrible!

You said some things that I can't unabsorb

You turned me into an idea of sorts

If so much of this was out of their control but they decided to try and make it work, the buildup of being together someday….the fact Covid probably played a huge roll in delaying it….over time that distance will absolutely lead to this concept…. “You turned me into an idea of sorts”. Anyone who has been in any sort of long distance or forbidden relationship knows exactly what this is saying. When we don’t have the object of our desire and it builds up over time in our heads to be something it’s not. The pressure that puts on the relationship and the person to meet those unreasonably high expectations that have been swirling in your head all that time. If you’re not careful, if you don’t pivot those expectations, that shit can be insanely toxic to the relationship.

You needed me but you needed drugs more

And I couldn't watch it happen

I think this is a red herring line to make us think Matty, but I also think this could be a line from Karlie’s perspective and the drugs needed is Taylor and her fame and her mastermind plans. It could explain some of the anger at the fans she’s showing now. You wouldn’t accept us. You wouldn’t accept me. I chose you over the person I love and over myself. I played this part for you and now I’m wondering what if I had chosen the other path. What if I had picked her and picked us and picked myself over the drug of being who you wanted me to be for you. This brings to mind the line in Miss Americana where she talks about the addiction to the applause. It also ties in to the 🎃 anon message…. “You’re a selfish asshole….but you’re finally choosing her”

I changed into goddesses, villains and fools

Changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules

All to outrun my desertion of you

And you just watched it

More of the same theme….I made myself into this thing that everyone wanted…the fans, the labels, the media, my dad, etc. All in an effort to justify pushing us back in the closet and you just had to take it and now I think I chose wrong. I should have picked us over them.

If you want to break my cold, cold heart

Just say, 'I loved you the way that you were'

If you want to tear my world apart

Just say you've always wondered

If the glint in my eye traced the depths of your sigh

Down that passage in time

Back to the moment I crashed into you

Like so many wrecks do

Too impaired by my youth

To know what to do

Again, hindsight…looking back and realizing you made a choice and that choice had major consequences on your life and on the life of the person you love and you can’t go backwards and that breaks your heart now.

So if I sell my apartment

And you have some kids with an internet starlet

Will that make your memory fade from this scarlet maroon

like it never happened

We aren’t those roommates from Cornelia Street and Maroon anymore. Everything has changed now. You’re stuck in this marriage/life and that apartment life we shared is gone now…did our choices back that lead us to a place where your feelings have changed? Have you forgotten who we were? Have you moved on? Is that version of us gone now because we’ve come to far from it?

Could it be enough to just float in your orbit

Down Bad reference…also could be asking if it could be enough to glass closet like before. Can we do the friend thing our whole lives and be okay with that? Or do we need to actually “come out” and be openly together for real?

Can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses

“Dancing phantoms on the terrace” Very clear reference to Kissgate. Can we go back to that? Being “friends” and having the world openly speculate etc etc. I feel like this song is them finally coming back together and going “Okay, this is another cross roads for us. We fucked up last time. How do we fix this? Do we break up and let each other go? Do we go back to how it was…together but technically still closeted? Or do we do what we should/could have done back then and just be who we are and be together openly? Can we rewrite this ending? The prophesy ties in here too as well as the Manuscript. Looking back and wishing you had made different choices and examining if it’s possible to get your life back on track.

Cooler in theory but not if you force it

To be, it just didn't happen

The idea of us that we have been clinging to for 10 years, the expectations, the mastermind plans…are we holding on still to just a dream or an idea that no longer exists? It’s been 10 years and it hasn’t happened like we planned. So now what? Again this screams of a cross roads. They’re looking at each other saying we can’t keep doing this. We need to make a new decision or we will destroy ourselves.

So if you want to break my cold, cold heart

Say you loved me

And if you want to tear my world apart

Say you'll always wonder

Cause I wonder

Will I always

Will I always wonder?

The song ends with the desperate and vulnerable question. In Lover Taylor was exploring those vulnerable early questions in a relationship…..can I go where you go? Can we always be this close? Can this relationship go the distance? Are you my person?

Now they’ve arrived at the vulnerable possible end questions. Stop. You’re losing me. Is this the part where you break my heart? Are you going to tell me I fucked it up to bad and you’re leaving? Are you about to confirm what I fear? That I chose the wrong road and now I’ve lost you?

Ending on the question that way shows the decision wasn’t made yet at this point. The song leaves us in that desperate silence between the question and the answer.

This also calls back for me to Mine. When she runs out and braces herself for the goodbye. That’s what history has shown her. That’s what she expects in these moments. But this person is different. This person called and showed their hand. This person took you by surprise and said I’m not leaving you alone. Are they still that person? Or have you finally fucked it up enough that even they are about to leave you?

I think given the shit that’s dropping now, the TTPD lyrics, the massive cracks in the facade, we can figure out what choice was made…..”You finally chose her” ❤️

Hopefully, now at the end of this part, they can have their do over (Come one come all) and regain what was lost. Hopefully they can change The Prophecy moving forward.

[callmewrinkles3]

I Can See You - DR3 x Fem!OC

Masterlist

Summary: The world feels like it’s ending, but one thing is for sure. Em knows that Dan isn’t going to leave her behind, no matter what’s going on. So she’s going to follow him wherever they go.

Warnings: covid-19, pining, pandemic talk, visa worries, unrequited love.

Wordcount: 8.9k

A/N: Guess who’s back! Apologies for the delay, it’s been a weird time for us. But we’re back and we hope this more than makes up for the delay. Let us know what you think!!

March 2020

Em really had no idea how she let Dan convince her to come up to his driver room and close the door behind her. It was the first proper day back in the paddock at a race weekend, one of the if not the busiest weekend for him thanks to his home race, but even with all of that happening he wanted her. Dan wanted her right there against the wall in that tiny room, not caring that the world was outside waiting for him.

She had no idea what excuse he invented or what lie he’d said, she really didn’t care even though she should have known it so she could confirm when she went downstairs. But he was one of the few people who could make black and yellow look so good, mixed with his longer than normal hair and the stubble that had her rubbing her legs together under her dress. He carried himself with complete confidence as he walked through the paddock, Em beside him holding her iPad and ever present bag. It had her daydreaming about what Dan was going to do to her once they were back at the hotel, helped along with his cocky smile and the way he winked at her every single time he caught her eye. It made her need to bite her lip and stare at her tablet, forcing the flush that wanted to fill her cheeks down. It didn’t stop her underwear getting ruined thanks to the little touches that had her in the palm of his hand. Hours of Dan putting an arm around her shoulder during breakfast, a hand on her waist as he walked by, running his fingers along her thigh under the table when they had lunch.

When Dan said he needed to run over his schedule for the weekend with her so they’d be left alone while the boys went to do something and his family sat in hospitality she decided to believe that they’d actually be doing work. She shouldn’t have, but she didn’t regret it in the slightest. As soon as the door was shut her back was against it, Dan’s lips moving along her jaw to her neck and down to her collarbones. As she groaned out his name his hands were on her ass, lifting her against him to wrap her legs around his waist. She should have known this would happen as soon as she decided to wear a dress that morning.

She had known that Dan wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off her, but she thought he would have glued himself to her when they made it back to the hotel. She never thought it would have been so soon. Em definitely didn’t think that he’d have dragged her alone when the paddock was buzzing and hospitality was full of people. But his impatience was just one of the reasons why he lifted her dress up before dropping to his knees in front of her. The other reason was the black knee length skater dress that she decided to wear.

She wanted to look good on her first day back at work. It was the first day of her first full season working as part of Dan’s team, and she wanted to look nice. The rest of the year she’d probably wear one of her Renault shirts and jeans, but at least that first day when she was working with some of Dan’s sponsors she wanted to look good and show she was there from Dan rather than the team. She really should have known that the dark material would have ended up bunched around her waist. But she didn’t think about consequences or rumours stemming from what she was wearing, or the rumours running around the paddock. She couldn’t, not when the man she loved more than anyone ever in her life was fucking her like it was the last thing he’d do in his life.

All she could feel was Dan’s lips against her skin and his hands holding her up by her ass. The noise of the paddock disappeared behind the sounds of their moans as Dan kept repeating her name while he buried himself deeper and deeper inside of her. There was no gap between where Dan ended and she began, his grin against her lips while she kissed him in a desperate attempt to keep quiet. Her fingers lightly pulled his hair, feeling the way he nipped at her lower lip in response. There was nothing as beautiful as the way Dan smiled at her just after they finished, probably moments away from being discovered but still happy and at ease with her.

They were an absolute mess and Em fully knew it, but she loved every single second of it. To see Dan so happy after the difficult first few months he’d had at Renault was everything. All she wanted was for him to be happy, and if hiding in a room just the two of them made him happy then it was perfect. Even if she knew everyone would think that they’d been having sex as soon as they stepped out of the room.

“We’re a mess,” Em whispered, kissing his temple as Dan hid his face in her shoulder to pepper her neck with kisses.

“You just say that because you’re dripping in no time?” He joked, winning a nudge from her shoulder dislodging his head as he stared up at her.

“You better clean the mess you made, sir.”

“Emmyyyyyy don’t call me that when we don’t have time to fully enjoy ourselves. But you know I always clean up after myself.”

It was one last kiss before Dan got Em back on her feet, tugging some tissues from the box on the table to clean her up. It was something he did every single time, kissing Em’s legs while he made sure she was ready to go. Once they were all dressed and looked presentable again Dan pulled Em into a hug before she could open the door. She had no idea where it came from but she wasn’t going to complain at all if they got an extra minute or two. She hugged him back, resting her head against his chest as he held her tightly and she pushed a kiss just over his heart like she did every single night before she fell asleep. The spell was broken by a harsh knock on the door, the two of them stepping apart as if they were doing something illegal.

She couldn’t help but smile when Dan kissed the tip of her nose after she rubbed the tiny trace of light pink lipstick left on his lips. One of the magical things about them was that they were able to have an entire conversation without saying a single word. It was one of those situations, giving each other a nod to know they were ready to go. Em took five seconds to straighten her skirt and grab her iPad while she shook her hair out to make it look like it was artfully messy, not like it was sex hair. Dan ran a hand through his curls and fixed his shorts and then they were ready to pretend that they’d actually been working and talking about the driver’s briefing happening in an hour. When Dan opened the door she was ready to see any of Dan’s family on the other side, but the last person Em expected to see was Michael. Considering the look on Dan’s face he wasn’t expecting to see him either. Em pretended it was completely normal, throwing a “hey Mikey” over her shoulder as she left the room with the two men in it. She also pretended that she didn’t hear the “what the fuck, mate?” coming from Michael behind her.

She had no idea if what they were doing was obvious or not and she honestly didn’t care. All she did for the rest of the day was work, meeting the CEO of GoPro and bringing him around hospitality and talking to him about how Dan would be out shortly. It was easy to pretend that the most popular man in the city hadn’t been on his knees for her earlier.

Em kept convincing herself that it wasn’t their fault for what was happening. They’d spent literally every single day together since she’d asked Dan if he was still ok with her travelling with him after Monza. Every night they shared a bed. And if all of that wasn’t enough she’d spent most of the Christmas break all over him in Australia. The same way he had the year before he took her to a rented beach house a two hour drive away so they could be alone for a couple of days. There was no people, no distractions - not even her work iPad. It was summer days spent mostly naked and in bed all over each other. Even when they were on the farm it was the two of them back together alone unless Isaac or Isabella were staying with them. When they were with family or friends they said they were just friends, a facade that barely lasted long enough for them to be alone again.

There was no going back to reality after that trip. There was no stopping what they were doing when they went back to London and Dan didn’t even attempt to go back to his apartment, ordering takeout for them to be delivered to Em’s apartment. Even in testing in Barcelona she spent more time in Dan’s room than even pretending to be in her own. They were happy to be in their little bubble, and considering the bad news that kept coming from the real world Em was more than happy to stay there.

The news about coronavirus was getting louder and louder, and even in the paddock the rumours were spreading about McLaren and Haas staff. It was going crazy and Em hated it. Her anxiety was spiking every time a well meaning person started trying to ask about it, news from Italy that Ferrari staff had mentioned sounded hellish. Dan was the only one who was really able to keep her grounded. He made the noise go away, helping her to stay optimistic even though it felt like the world was falling apart.

As soon as they were back in the hotel she could feel herself getting more and more worried. There were rumours from home that the Premiership was going to stop matches from taking place, Austria, Ireland, Italy, and Spain had all announced that schools and offices should close. The whole day rumours about the race and the season being cancelled had spread like wildfire, and McLaren pulling out because of the positive case terrified her. Nobody would confirm anything, instead waiting for last minute information to arrive which caused the rumours and speculation to get louder and louder. It felt like more and more sports were cancelling their seasons, it felt logical for F1 to cancel theirs too. But the FIA and logic didn’t go together so there was no news. She wouldn’t have been surprised if they decided to keep going.

Dan kissed her head before going to take his shower, and Em turned on the tv for a few minutes. Five seconds later she wished she hadn’t. The news was talking about rising cases and numbers of ill and dying people in new countries. It was travelling before people realised and people were dying so fast it was terrifying. More countries were telling people to go home and talking about closing borders and stopping flights. New Zealand were organising flights to get citizens home.

That’s when the fear started to kick in, but she buried it down so she could get through dinner with everyone. She wasn’t Australian. Everyone she cared about was - Dan, his family, Blake and Michael who’d basically become brothers to her in everything except name - but she wasn’t. Dan made jokes that she was an honorary Aussie thanks to her trips to Perth, but it wasn’t true. Her passport was British, she was close to running up on the time she was allowed to be in Australia for on her visitor visa, and she’d have to leave. She’d have to go home on her own. She forced herself to calm as she changed, turning off the tv and putting one of her true crime podcasts on to make her get through the evening.

Once the mains were finished at dinner, Em excused herself and left earlier than she normally would. She wanted to see them, loved having Isabella on her lap as she ate one handedly because the little girl was clingy, but she was exhausted. Em spent too long yawning over her plate and felt terrible about it. The beginning of the season was always stressful, and that plus the jet lag because they didn’t get to have time in Perth before the first race, and not knowing what she was going to do was exhausting her. The uncertainty of not knowing if she’d get to stay with Dan felt like a nightmare. It was hugs and kisses goodnight, apologising again for being tired, and Em got in the lift back up to their room from the hotel restaurant. She got into a quick shower, not bothering to wash her hair but wanting to get the grime of the day off, before putting clean underwear and a tee on.

Dan somehow always knew when Em really needed him and that night was no different, Dan opening the room door ten minutes after she’d gotten under the duvet.

“What are you doing here?” Em asked, muting the ABC News channel as he pulled his shirt off.

“We were all heading up anyway, Mum told me to go to bed cause I’m up early in the morning. Renault PR texted me a new schedule, they want me at the track for seven thirty.”

It screamed an excuse to Em, no text from Renault who would usually send it to her first, but she wasn’t complaining. He went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and Em unmuted the tv, eyes staring at the rising European case number graphs.

She started to feel her heart rate rising with the terror of what was going on, but before she knew what she was doing the bathroom door was open and Dan slipped into the bed beside her, arms around her and pulling her close. Her back was against his chest while his hands were warm against her stomach and it felt like the world had disappeared. Even if it was only for a few moments.

“What did we say about you watching the news after dinner?” He murmured as he pushed kisses to her jaw. Em closed her eyes to feel the sensation, the smell of the shower gel he’d stolen from her surrounding them as she began to relax.

Dan was right. They had a deal that involved Em not watching the news at night. She could watch any true crime documentary or crime show that existed and she could sleep like a baby, but the news gave her nightmares and stopped her usually not great sleep. Dan said it was because she was so empathetic and that was why it happened. But whatever caused it, they made a deal after one particularly bad night when Dan woke to Em sobbing and shaking in her sleep.

“I know. I just…the world is falling apart. It’s terrifying. I’m scared, Danny.” It was hard for her to admit that to him and he just pulled her closer.

“It won’t fall apart, Emmy. It’s getting crazy out there but it won’t be that bad.”

“Maybe not. But they’re talking about Australia closing their borders. What if I have to go back to London alone?” Her voice cracked and she hated it but there was nothing she could do about it.

“I go back with you.”

“Dan-”

“I go back with you. There’s no discussion about it, we say goodbye to people and we go back together. But it won’t happen, right? We won’t be separated. And no more news for you, little miss. C’mon, did you take your melatonin? Let’s go to bed.”

The mix of a melatonin gummy, sheer exhaustion, jet lag, and Dan’s hugs and kisses on her forehead had Em falling asleep in no time. For a race weekend that was a miracle. When she woke up there was a moment of absolute bliss where she could forget about the world outside their bed. All she had to be aware of was that the handsome man snoring by her side was her Danny. Too soon the alarm on his phone went off too loudly in the silent room and it was back to reality and the mess that was the world. On any day she would say she wanted to stay in bed with Dan rather than go to a busy paddock. There was nothing she liked less than strangers pointing cameras and phones at them, asking for Dan’s autographs and Em getting looks from jealous women when she wasn’t in team gear. There had been one confirmed case in the paddock and probably more. She didn’t want the man she loved there. She didn’t want his family there, she didn’t want their friends there. She didn’t want to be there. But if Dan was going, she was going.

She could tell how Dan didn’t want Em or his family in the paddock either. Trying to convince everyone else to stay in the hotel or do something away from the paddock full of people was surprisingly easy. It was still unclear if there’d be a race or not so she watched as he told his family not to go. If it did happen they could come for Saturday and Sunday and the fun parts, but they didn’t need to be there for just practices on Friday. But while he was trying to convince them she could tell that he was trying to find a way to convince her too. The gears were whirring behind tired eyes, she could practically see his brain working overtime. He was overthinking all of it, but no matter what he said her answer was going to be the same.

“So I was thinking you could stay here with everyone? Pack our things in case we need to leave fast?”. Em wanted to laugh. She really didn’t think he would try an excuse like that. At least she thought that he’d try a smoother excuse, but really nothing was good enough. Especially considering she had a job to do. She was just glad he waited for Michael and Blake to get up from the table to get coffees for everyone.

“Do you really think I’m letting you go without me?” Em didn’t even lift her head from the email she was reading to respond. She knew that if she looked up he’d give her the big brown puppy eyes and he’d try convince her, so instead she swapped to the schedule for the day. Covid or not she was sticking to it till she was told otherwise.

“There’s not gonna be much to do anyway. You may as well stay here.”

“You’ve seen the news, Dan. What if there’s a case and they lock the paddock down? Or the hotel? What if we get separated and I can’t get back to you?” She bit the bitter taste of panic back as she looked at him at last, worry filling his face.

“Hey, I’m always gonna come back to you. Always. Forget what I said, ok? We’ll stick together. We’ll figure it all out later.”

“Just keep me by your side. Please? I…Danny just promise me you won’t leave me alone.” Asking it felt impossible but his smile lit her insides up in a ridiculous way.

“I’m never gonna do that.” She let the breath she didn’t know she was holding out and smiled.

“You mean it?”

“I promise.” Dan grabbed her hand, squeezing it under the table. “You know, right?”

“I know.” It was quiet between them until Em spotted Blake on his way back with two cups of coffee in his hand, needing to have conversation so the mood wasn’t so heavy. “What did you do last night when I fell asleep? You look tired.”

“Nothing really. You know what I’m like before the first race of the season, I couldn’t sleep straight away. Plus you looked too cute so I was a creep and watched you sleep.”

“Silly. Thanks, though.”

They held hands extra tightly that morning on the way to the circuit. Dan acted like he didn’t care about Blake and Michael sitting in the front seats, and if she was honest with herself Em really didn’t care about them either. The world was falling apart but Dan was holding her hand and they were together. He’d promised that he wasn’t going to separate from her or let someone take her away. She may not believe in much, but she believed in Dan when he gave his word. Especially to her.

It was probably anxiety and a little bit of paranoia, but Em spent the drive insisting she was fine staying in Dan’s driver room to work rather than down in hospitality. Her anxiety was too high for her to be happy around people so staying alone and in the quiet was better. At least until there was definite news about what was happening. Dan didn’t discuss it either, just pushing kisses to her knuckles as they drove through the Melbourne traffic. As soon as they pulled into the parking spot the just friends persona came down over both of them, letting go and Em getting into her professional mode.

Like any other Friday she took a deep breath while she walked with Blake, Dan and Michael in front of them waving to the Netflix cameras and Dan giving autographs. It was little waves from afar as they reached the black hospitality, Michael going to check the garage and make sure an icebath was ready and Blake going to check for some visitors. Dan walked up to the room with her, holding the door open and watching as she got settled in.

“You should go chat to Cyril, see if the FIA have any news or made a decision. Then there’s a PR meeting with Esteban in 20, and after that it’s ESPN, Dazn, Sky, and Channel 4. In that order.” She felt like she was put together as she talked but turning to see Dan made her feel like she wasn’t.

“Everyone’s gonna ask about coronavirus, right?”

“Probably, it’s all anyone’s talking about. PR will give you the line to use, it’ll be something along the lines of ‘as long as all precautions are taken then we should be safe to race’.” Dan rolled his eyes while shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

“Can I get a hug before I go?” She hadn’t even opened her arms when he pulled her close, Em standing between his legs as he leaned against the massage table.

“I’ll be here if you need me, I’m a text away Danny. But you need to go.”

“Just a minute.” It was more kisses pushed to her forehead and ear before he whispered his plans. “I’m getting us to Perth if shit goes bad. Us on the farm, you can break in the new kitchen fully cause we didn’t have long over Christmas.”

Em froze. It felt so perfect to her, the two of them on the farm together, getting to relax and be together and happy. It was too good to be true. Literally. “I can’t. My visa, I don’t have much time on it because of how long I’ve been here. I have to go back.”

“Fixed it.” She shot her head up to look at him. “Under special circumstances it can be changed to twelve months instead of three, so I applied for it for you last night.”

“What?”

“Nobody is taking you away from us. I’m not letting it happen. Blake and I talked already, if it doesn’t get approved we’re going back to London. You’re not going alone.” She knew the awe was on her face from his words. Her sweet, brilliant man who had fixed her worries without even knowing about them. Before she knew what to say his phone started ringing.

“Dan…”

“I can’t, Emmy. I can’t let it happen. I promised earlier that I’m not gonna leave you alone, and I mean it. I’m not leaving you.”

“Dan! Your phone.” She nudged him at the vibrating device, Michael’s name on screen.

“Leave it.”

“Want me to answer?” He nodded and she picked it up, holding onto him as she slid the answer bar.

“Hey Michael, it’s Em…he’s got his hands full at the moment, I’ll fill him in. We’ll meet you in hospitality in ten, is that ok? Perfect, see you there.” She hung it up, putting it back down on the massage table and holding onto Dan. “Danny?”

“Yeah?” His voice was flat and she knew that he knew what she was going to say.

“The race is officially cancelled.”

“Good.” His hands gripped her tighter, pulling her into him. Em nuzzled against his chest, holding onto the one solid thing in her world before asking what they were doing. “Five minutes of this. Then the hotel and pack. There’s a plane on standby out in Avalon to take us all home. Than the farm. I figure we’ll have to separate from most people, but we can do it.”

“Sounds good to me.” She moved a curl from in front of his eyes, realisation filling her. “That’s why you didn’t sleep last night.”

“I needed a plan.” His head was nuzzled into her neck as he spoke and she just held him to give all the comfort she possibly could. “You still should have told me.”

“I got it. You don’t need to worry, I’m making sure you’re ok. If the world as we know it is ending then it ends with us together, right?”

She should have sent him out to see what was going on, either going with him to work out what they were doing next or packing the little bits that had been taken out of their bags. She should have been finding Blake and Michael. But she just couldn't let him go. His words were echoing in her head, running wild and all she could do was kiss Dan as he held her. It wasn't even the start of a makeout session, just enjoying what was going to be one of their last moments alone. Small kisses with their lips pressed against each other, holding on together. The farm was big but if the boys were staying with them then privacy was going to be out the window in no time. There'd be no shared bedroom, nothing like they had, and she'd have to quickly get used to it. She loved the boys but if they had to stay locked down for days or weeks like the news out of Europe was saying then she might go insane.

Like almost every time they had some privacy in a paddock there was a knock on the door to interrupt them. Dan called for whoever was there to come in, not untwining himself from Em. His hands were under her shirt, glued to the skin on her waist as they were in each others arms. They needed that closeness and togetherness that only they could provide for each other. That day it didn't matter who was coming in and would see them like that. She heard the rumours from the paddock, people thinking they were together. Most of Renault knew that there was something going between them, but the team kept their secret. It wouldn't be strange for any of them to see them together. She never went around holding hands or hugging closely, but nobody was ever surprised to see Dan hanging out of her.

But it wasn't a random member of Renault staff, it was Michael who opened the door and stared at them. She'd known him for more than two years and Em knew that he wasn't happy looking at them.

"What's up? I thought I said we were meeting in a couple of minutes?" She lifted up slightly from Dan who kept a hold of her.

"Blake's looking for you." At that Dan let her go, Em pulling her black and yellow shirt down and turning around. "Not you, Em. He wants Dan."

"Cool, hospitality?" Michael nodded and Dan squeezed Em's hip briefly. "Get your stuff ready cause we're leaving as soon as we can. Will you call Mum and Dad for me and tell them to pack up? Please?"

"I'm on it, I'll tell them we'll see everyone in the hotel in an hour? That way the kids don't get too confused. I've got your backpack and the rest of your things."

"Thanks, Emmy."

"Go. Take care out there, yeah? Don't touch anything unless you have to."

It was one last hand squeeze and a wink that his heart wasn't in as he left the room, Michael following quickly behind him. Em was completely confused while she packed their things, picking up phone chargers and one of Dan's hoodies to put into his bag. She had no idea why Michael looked so mad when he saw them cuddling. As little as she liked remembering it he had literally walked in on them in China the year before. He knew that they were sleeping together but he seemed like it was a surprise to see them like that. She'd been clear about where she was going to spend the day, and Dan had insisted he'd come check on her whenever he could. Thinking about his reaction just made her sad, so instead she finished getting the bags together. Hotel, pack her suitcase, make sure she hadn't left anything behind, and to the plane. She could do this. She could do it.

A quick phone call to Grace to fill her in on Dan's plans was the first thing she did once she packed, giving the heads up for everyone to pack up and be ready. It was a last double check of everything before putting Dan's backpack on one shoulder and Blake's on the other, her handbag over her elbow. She possibly could have managed Michael's bag too, but she decided to be petty. If he was going to act annoyed when he had no reason to be then she was leaving his stuff behind.

Like they promised they were all back at the hotel within an hour, heading straight up to pack. It was as she was zipping up her case that she realised the one thing she'd forgotten. Blake.

He wasn't from Perth. He wasn't even from WA. He was from the east coast, spending his holidays with family there. And now she was planning on escaping to Perth and what was her brother going to do? She relied on him to keep her sane in work and her private life. Dan came up behind her as she pushed down on the case, staring at it.

"Emmy? What's up?"

"I...eh. What's happening with Blake? Is he coming to the farm too? Or is he going home?"

"Do you want him to come with us?"

"Yeah," It was hard to say, Dan grabbing her hand as she did. "What if he's far away and something happens to him? Or us? Is it selfish?"

"It's not selfish, he's worried about us too. I'm pretty sure he wants to come anyway, lemme call him." She watched Dan ring Blake, the phone barely ringing before Dan blurted out his plan. The smile made Em relax, Blake was coming with them. It was going to be fine.

As soon as the suitcases were packed everyone was down in the lobby, multiple cars there to bring them all back to the airport. Em was texting Cyril with one hand, getting details about how everyone was getting out of the country before it was too late. The other hand was kept by Dan, pushing kisses to their interlaced fingers the same way he did when there was nobody around. It was Blake on the front seat with the driver as they finally made it out to the airport. A private jet was there on the tarmac awaiting their arrival.

It was surreal to her that getting onto a private jet was now normal, but it was. The plane was bigger than the one she'd been on before, more than enough room for the ten of them who were flying west. Em didn't exactly plan to sit next to Dan on the plane. It wasn't that she didn't want to - of course she did - but she figured she was better off leaving that seat for Michelle so she could talk to her brother before they were separated. Joe and Grace were already sitting on the other side of the table from Dan so she went to sit in the group of chairs across the small aisle from them. But Dan extended his arm out to pull her into the empty window seat, his bag reserving her place for her. He'd made jokes that she belonged beside him, but she never thought that he'd do something like this. It wasn't until Em nodded and went to sit in that he moved his bag, grinning like a kid who'd gotten exactly what he wanted.

She was just settled in, pulling a book out to read for part of the three hour flight when Isaac ran straight to her, arms up for her to pull him onto her lap. It had been so hard to explain to her nephew that they were going home but she couldn't see him for a couple of weeks. Explaining what was happening in the world felt impossible, so it was brought down to "everyone needs to stay at home for a little while, but we won't be able to see each other till then". He kind of understood what was happening, that he wouldn't get to come to the farm for a night even though Dan and Em would be there. He wasn't going to get to see them, so he took after his uncle and climbed onto Em's lap to get comfortable and cosy while he curled up with her.

"Can we has dinner tonight?"

"Have dinner, baby. And nope, not yet. We're gonna FaceTime for a couple of weeks."

"But you home!"

"I know. But it's to keep you safe. I promise we'll see you soon."

"Cuddle?"

"We can cuddle for the whole flight, promise."

Even though it was against almost every rule that existed in the history of aviation, Em didn’t put Isaac into his own seat as the door closed and takeoff began. Instead she took the blanket that the flight attendant offered her and spread it over them before fastening the seatbelt on top of them both, Her arms were wrapped around him for extra protection as he clung to her. She asked if he was going to nap during the flight, a shake of his head insisting that he was gonna stay awake. But she was comfy and safe to him, by the time the seatbelt sign switched off his breathing was deep and even against her. Ignoring her book she snuggled down into the seat, leaning her head against Dan and made herself try to get some sleep.

—

Dan wanted to melt with happiness and love as he watched the two of them fast asleep together. Em was against him on the seats and he put his arm around her so she could curl in and sleep. His mum took a photo of the three of them, a smile on her face as she showed it to him.

He wanted it so badly he nearly hurt thinking about it. He wanted his Emmy by his side every day, curled up against him no matter what the plane or car journey was. He wanted to watch her sleeping peacefully, get to hold her hand and kiss her forehead and chase away the sadness he saw in her nearly every day. He wanted a life and a home with her, matching rings and a wedding and marriage and to see her like this with their baby on her lap, not their nephew.

It used to be something he thought of as a maybe. As a if his partner wanted it he’d be interested, but that was it. He never thought settling down would be something that he wanted. And now looking at Em cuddling Isaac he knew he’d have a footie team with her if she wanted it. She just had to ask him and he’d retire there and then for her. He’d give it up and they’d pick somewhere to settle down and he’d change nappies and run around chasing kids with her eyes and wild curls.

He wanted to ask her. It was terrifying but he wanted it. Wanted to ask her to marry him as soon as they could get a date and to start trying for a family together. Spend lockdown making plans and trying for a baby. But he couldn’t do that to her.

Em was already struggling with the unknown future they were facing because of the coronavirus, it was unfair to ask her for anything. Especially such a huge change in their lives. Everyone had said that it was a two week lockdown and then things could go back to normal. He didn’t buy it though. It might be two weeks, it might be two months. He could be back racing at any point and he didn’t know. And if things went well and they got lucky? If he had to leave Emmy behind because she couldn’t travel with him he didn’t know what he’d do. Or if he missed something important because he had to race.

He couldn’t do it. Asking for this from Em when her anxiety was skyrocketing and they were facing a life without structure was unfair. She was already trying not to spiral, there was no choice here. No good choice. Yeah there was a chance, but he could feel it in his gut that it needed to be put on hold until they were more stable. There were more important things to do. Fix Em’s visa, stay in Perth, get through whatever was going on and finding out when things could start back up. Then he could plan their future. Baby steps. He fucking hated it, he wanted to run full force into everything he wanted, but he had to take baby steps to protect Em.

“She’s gonna be alright, you know that, right?” Blake leaned across the aisle to Dan, shaking him out of his thoughts.

“Huh?”

“Her visa. She’s gonna be fine, I did some digging, this is exactly what that visa is designed for. But if it’s not I’ve already emailed about getting a plane from Perth to London. We’ll need a fuel stop in the Middle East probably, but we can make it work.” It was the we that made Dan sit up a bit and look at him.

“You know you don’t need to come with us, right?”

“I know. But who’s gonna look after your messy arses if I’m not there? Or throw a book at the wall?”

“Oh fuck you!” He kept his voice low but his mum still heard, Grace giving him a glare. “Sorry, Ma.”

“Language, there’s kids on this plane.” She was smiling at his immediate apology, Dan just thankful that the kids were asleep.

“But seriously, thanks. You don’t have to do any of this.”

“You don’t have to thank me. I was thinking about it, if there’s something going on and you can’t go with her don’t worry about it, ok? I know you’ll be there as soon as you can be but I’ll be there and make sure she’s alright until you get back. She’s not gonna be alone.” It was the most serious he’d ever heard Blake in his life.

“I’m gonna be there. If she can’t stay in Perth then I’m not staying either. I made her a promise that I wouldn’t leave her side and I’m keeping it. Wherever she goes, I go. We’re a package deal now.”

“I get it but I wanted to make sure that you know I’m gonna be there for her. She’s my little sister, like you’re my brother.” Dan gave Blake a nod, emotion hitting him. It was gonna be ok. It had to be.

The flight passed quickly, Dan chatting quietly with his parents until Em woke up. They were interrupted by Michael coming up to him for a moment to double check that it was straight to the farm when they landed. He hadn’t thought that Michael would want to be with them there, but he nodded before realising what he was doing.

Once Em woke up she snuggled against him even more, chatting with Grace and Joe about their plans while playing with Isaac and his favourite toy cars on Dan’s chest. Dan didn’t say much, watching Em as she smiled and made vroom vroom noises while playing with Isaac. Every few minutes he’d run his fingers over her hair or kiss her forehead and she’d curl into him even more. It was rare for Em to let her guard down enough to cuddle him in front of everyone, but especially after Isaac after New Years.

They’d snuck inside at midnight to share a kiss while everyone else was watching the fireworks go off. He’d grabbed her hand to pull her into the kitchen for some privacy. He wanted to get a proper kiss from his girl and cuddle her and wish her a happy new year, so they were hidden in the kitchen with Em sitting on the counter and Dan standing between her legs sharing soft kisses. They were too caught up with each other and saying they needed to go back out but it was one more kiss. Then five more kisses. Then a hug. The bangs from the fireworks and Isaac’s tiny feet meant they never heard him coming or going from there.

It wasn’t until Michelle told Dan later that night how her son went running to her to tell her excitedly “I SAW UNCLE DANNY AND AUNTIE EMMY KISSING!”. He thought it was hilarious but Em was mortified and refused to go near him around his family again. He hadn’t seen them so close since that night, but Isaac didn’t say anything. Dan wasn’t sure if he’d forgotten or was happy playing with Em, but he was glad nothing was mentioned. He just listened to the giggles Isaac made while Em tickled him, looking across at baby Isabella in her mother’s arms and feeling that longing again.

He just wished he could stay on that plane forever, stop time and be there with his favourite people. He had no idea when he’d get to have the ten of them together in one room. He didn’t know when he’d get to see his parents, his sister, his brother in law and his niblings. Not knowing when the next time he and Em would pick up Isaac one afternoon to take him out was eating him. He wanted to turn up in the afternoon after Isaac’s nap, take him out to the playground and dinner before bringing him to the farm and spending the night with him. The lazy days the three of them had on the farm, Michelle making jokes about how it was their trial run to be parents to him and him warning his sister not to say it to Em.

But instead the plane went inevitably towards Perth, Dan looking out the window as they landed. It was sunny while they taxied to the private terminal, everyone stepping off as the luggage was unloaded. Finally he hugged his family goodbye, watching as Em did the same and gave everyone an extra hug. It was to the farm, to make a plan for the next day and hold his girl because he desperately needed something normal. Anything.

He had to keep it together for Em because if he started tearing up then she would, and she’d barely be able to stop. She hated crying in front of him, crying in front of Michael and Blake in the front seat would have been unthinkable for her. So when he sat in on the back seat he took her hand from her pocket, feeling the metal toy she was clutching. Em turned her hand up, showing him Isaac’s toy car.

“He told me I need to give it back next time I see him.” Her voice was low and Dan just held her hand for the entire drive, the music playing washing over them as they got closer to the farm and safety from everything happening in the world. When they pulled up he brought everyone’s suitcases into the living room before standing outside. Em went and stood beside him, looking out over the land and holding his hand.

—

Michael could feel that he wasn’t particularly wanted on the farm. He’d said it to Dan because they didn’t know what was going on or what would happen in the future. They were probably exposed, and if any of them got coronavirus the last thing he wanted to do was pass it onto his family. He’d never forgive himself if he hurt his Nana with it. So instead he was locking himself up with Blake, Dan, and Em.

The idea of quarantining in a house that had plenty of space and land around should have been fun, especially with two of his best mates and the girl he liked staying there. Except said girl and one of said best mates were…something. He had no idea if they were a couple, if it was friends with benefits or love or what. He didn’t know what they called each other - he’d never heard them say they loved each other at least - but they were something. And for the first time they weren’t hiding whatever they were anymore. They’d been subtle for as long as he’d known them but now he was seeing them fully acting like a couple. It felt like a nightmare.

He still remembered that morning in China when Dan was running late. Knocking on the door and getting no response so opening it and seeing Em moving in Dan’s lap. He hated that his brain wouldn’t forget about her little gasps and moans and he hated even more how much he wished he was in Dan’s place right there. He tried to avoid it, he tried to pretend that he didn’t remember how she looked. He tried not to want her but it was impossible. She was a bright light and he was a moth completely attracted to her and unable to look away. Every single time he saw her and Dan beside each other he wanted to be in Dan’s place and it fucking sucked. He wasn’t sure if he regretted saying yes to her travelling with them but he couldn’t say no. Blake immediately said yes, so he had to as well.

He wanted to be the one to make her laugh, who she came to when she was cold and wanted to steal a hoodie, the one offering her his arm so she would snuggle under it during long flights. He wanted to be the one making excuses to sneak into her hotel room and inventing reasons to see her. Which was stupid and ridiculous.

But he also thought Dan was out of his mind for what he was doing with Em. He knew perfectly well what they were doing in that drivers room on Thursday, and in countless other drivers rooms. He knew that they weren’t talking about the schedule and he told Dan as much, that he needed to focus on work and driving and getting a contract for next year. The problem was Dan’s reaction to it. He insisted that he knew what he was doing and to not say a word to Em about their conversation. Fine by him, he never wanted to mention to Em that he knew what she and Dan were doing.

He couldn’t believe when it was happening again that morning as he walked in. He knew when Em was the one who answered the phone that they were together and hiding so he went up to get them moving. It was normal for them to act like there was nothing between them even though everyone knew, but finding them like that was weird. Dan being unfocused and tired on the first full day of a race weekend wasn’t something that happened. He didn’t know why, but Blake filled him in when he asked how they were going to work out Em’s visa situation. The two of them were on the back porch in the mid afternoon sun, staring out across the horizon. Home for the foreseeable future.

“Why do you think Dan barely slept last night? He spent it getting the change for her visa submitted before the DHA was overwhelmed with visas. If it’s denied then I’ve worked out how we’re getting back to London.” Blake sounded completely calm and it was ridiculous. The full impact of his words hit Michael there. Dan would do anything for Em. He put his career second and her first, he was picking her before everything and everyone else. And if Michael was honest with himself, he’d been doing it for probably a year.

“So they’re actually a thing now?”

“They’ve been a thing for like a year and a half, mate. You were blind to not see it.” They were the same words that Blake had used in China when Michael went straight to his door to tell him what he’d seen. But even though he already knew it was happening, it hurt a bit more this time. “It’s their thing, as long as it makes them both happy it’s a good thing.”

Michael wanted to be the one who made her happy. He wanted to have a ‘thing’ with her. He wanted to hold her the way Dan did, an arm around her waist and her head curled against him as he held her. He wanted to get to kiss her forehead and whisper how he felt to her, to show Em off to the world as the woman he wanted. But he had to settle for walking back into the house with Blake, their original conversation over and the two quiet.

It wasn’t until they finally got into the house and were sorting their bags that it hit him. There were three bedrooms and three beds. Either he or Blake were going to sleep on one of the couches, neither of them would make Em have to sleep out there. It was probably fairer to leave it up to chance instead of arguing, so he turned with his fist outstretched.

“Rock, paper, scissors to see who gets the bed?” He asked, but Dan interrupted before Blake even had the chance to answer.

“There’s two spare rooms, don’t fight. Nobody’s stuck sleeping on the couch and everyone gets some privacy,” he explained as if it was completely normal. Michael watched as he went back to Em and kissed her forehead before speaking again. Em looked like she was holding herself together through sheer determination and desperation. “I’ll grab our bags and put them in our room, yeah? You’ve got your carry on and handbag there?”

“I’ve got them, I’ll take them in. Want some tea before we lie down? I think we’ve still got some left from Christmas. I’m gonna need to make a list of what we need at the supermarket tomorrow, maybe do some online orders. Make a list of what one you want me to pick up.” Her smile at Dan was captivating, Michael staring and wanting her to smile at him like that.

“We’ll figure that out later, but please make me some. Thanks, Babe.”

“I’ll bring it into you, you need sleep. Do either of you want some tea, boys?”

The only thing Michael could do was shake his head no, pretending to busy himself with his backpack. There was nothing that could pass through the knot in his throat right then.

He knew Dan was a picky fuck when it came to his tea. He always insisted that nobody could do it like Em could, the three of them made jokes about how it was because she was British. But beyond all of that he never expected to see them sharing a room so openly and in front of people. They weren’t hiding and sneaking, they weren’t pretending they were just friends. They were like an honest to God couple who had been together for years.

As he watched Dan walk down the hallway to the master bedroom, Em heading into the kitchen and Blake getting his stuff together to put his things in one of the guest rooms it hit Michael like a punch to the gut. He had made a huge mistake telling Dan he was staying at the farm. But now there was nothing he could do.

Taglist: @dr3lover @majx00 @tall-tanned-tattoo @lovingdennishauger @lauehr @msolbesg @f1medlife @idkwtfimdoing2 @leclercsbae @hiphopdancer101universe @mehrmonga @saintandrea-droidsmuggler @coldheartedmar @sugarbabygirlofdaddy @a-distantdreamer @tita010 @javden @magical-imagination-kgp @danarysstormborn @kakorrhaphiophobia @g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e @elizanav @neiich @luckyladycreator2 @scotlynaurora @belledawnidk

[nalyra-dreaming]

Did Rolin Jones really say/hint that TVL would only be one season? If so, then I think either s3 will be a longer season or theyll have to cut/delay some of the story. We all know that S1 & 2 were originally supposed to be one long season (I assume 15 eps) but were split up bc of covid and budget issues. Well if IWTV needed 15 episodes to be told (adding plots for Daniel and Armand), how the hell can TVL be told in only 8 episodes?? TVL is like 200 pages longer than ITWTV and s3 will not only be focused on the book, but will also have to add new plots for Louis, Armand, and Daniel. Even though Louis isn’t the main character of this season, I imagine he’ll still be in most episodes, like Lestat was. Armand too.

I don’t think breaking up TVL would be any more awkward than it was for IWTV. They’ll probably be moving stuff around anyway. I suppose they could push some of story into QOTD s4- but what parts? Lestat is specifically telling his story in the context of the doc - would the writers want to add more flashbacks while he’s away with Akasha?

The point is I’d love nothing more than for them to take their sweet, sweet time telling Lestat’s story. And I hope they get to do so. What do you think? 😁

I think Rolin is throwing round distractions, tbh. I think they don't want to tell yet how they do it, just like they didn't want to tell that they'd been greenlit for months already.

Since Rolin is on record saying that TVL is the reason why he wanted to do the show in the first place I think it is safe to assume he will do so properly.

I mean, look at what he has done with the first book.

He elevated the story, to art. Elevated the characters to a point where they will continue to be able to interesting, even if the focus shifts. Louis is so much more. Armand is so much more (already). Now Lestat will tell his own story and it is already clear how much conception and ideas have been brought in.

Like, whether one loves or hates the outfits, songs or makeup/looks of Lestat in that teaser and song - but there is a clear vision there, and they nailed that vision. A lot of work has gone into all that already.

They will take their time - they already took their time, too. :)

I really don't see a reason to worry tbh.

[sgiandubh]

It's all fake, anyway

Oh, my. The last two or three video snippets in Marina del Rey. The revolt. The pearl-clutching. The hate.

Again, you know nothing, Jon Snow. It's all about the medium being the message, again: carefully calibrated snippets of information, destined to a captive, deeply divided and (how can I put that without sounding offending, I wonder) unexperimented (yes, that's decent enough) audience.

During the last 24 hours, we've got the Marina del Rey gin promo & MPC teambuilding (hardly an orgy, btw) and C's MUA (or is it hairdresser? irrelevant) hinting on Instagram about a photoshoot at a gin distillery in a #beautifullocation, somewhere on Earth, presumably in Scotland - given her last IG follow. No further details, of course. Very probably a (late-) latergram, too, when she finally got the green light to publish it. Implying nothing, but leaving a boulevard bandwidth for people to infer whatever suits their own narrative. Expect FMN news soon? I highly doubt that and stand corrected: the last photoshoot (with McSideburns, in London) was on May 3rd, when she needed to somehow show the world the Two of Them were continents apart. Identical modus operandi. And always, always via tertiary players.

As for the Marina del Rey teambuilding, if you think that is 'S living his life' you are: a) living in a remote mountain/island area or under a rock; b) an impenitent Mordorian with an agenda to boot or c) incredibly incompetent with the way of the world (or at least, that world). Allow me to translate?

It is alcohol promo, duckies, disguised as teambuilding. The intended message is aimed at a younger, non-OL related audience (as I already warned you) and it roughly goes like this:

'we are a fun loving, no nonsense, start-up business in the spirits industry. Because we don't have a huge advertising budget, we're testing the waters with a cheap, reality-TV snippet to better evaluate the number of social media clicks and new followers and help gauge & calibrate the next step'.

Was it poorly executed? Yeah, you could say that, but then what to do, in a very restrictive, highly regulated tobacco & spirits advertising market, hum? Is it my cup of tea? I don't drink, therefore this type of message touches one ball without really moving the other.

Yes. Start-up business: if we take into account the COVID logistic delay, I believe we're still in that three-years frame. And this detail is essential in order to put context around a very forgettable snippet. Selling a brand-new, more democratic product. Selling it clumsily, in an effort to build relevance, because even bad advertising is, ultimately, good advertising. But make no mistake: it's nothing more than that and it is all they can do, in the current context.

This brings to mind another aspect of the charade, namely the fact that after the Remarkable Week-end (and with the exception of some carefully scripted 'slips'), released and available information progressively became (at least) two-tiered.

First tier: information carefully calibrated for immediate release and general consumption, primarily but not exclusively by the fandom. This includes: spirits shilling, innuendos galore, look-here-not-there latergrams. It also entails less direct interaction with the fans on socials and delegating the media management to secondary players (often called to the rescue, too).

Second tier: public information with a limited availability (you have to take the plunge and pay), for sleuths able and willing to go the extra mile. They paint a very different landscape. And draw two copycat timelines of people who are investing, buying and selling property and overall branching out of their primary source of income with a plan.

I am not a photo sleuth. But with a little bit of time on my hands, I am a decent paperwork analyst. Accounting is not my forte, but legal and business is. I saw what I needed to see and it holds.

So before you start screeching (bad idea, right?), remember this (credit given to @dillon7fan, thanks):

Not really: it is doctored make believe. Bless your heart, honest guy.

Next stop, Tehran. Yes, you read that correctly.

This evening or tomorrow, at the latest. Because context is everything and this fandom severely fails at this.

[42bakery]

Hi do you know what the new regs mean? Or why these changes have been made?

Hi there anon 👋👋👋👋.

Let's start with the second first because it will lead to the second one okay?

So why are those changes made? The regulation was always going to change, but thanks to the COVID, it got delayed, and then aero started (with all their issues) and then the regulations where scrapped and made new ones according to what was going on track. The core of these regularization, that we only got the summary and not all the small details, is the rider's safety and sustainability.

Since 2020/2021 aero has become the main point of innovation and concern on the paddock due to the lack of real regulations surrounding them. Aero is making the racing and overtaking difficult and at the same time it's making the top speed reaching new levels and breaking records every weekend, but also makes crashes worse (way worse as riders carry more speed and gravel can't absorbe it making them reach barriers). Aero prevents the overtaking because it allows bikes to be bigger but also with all the forces that surrounds the ground effect more difficult to maneuver (this is also why riders have more hands/arm injuries and arm pump issues, as well as new type of arm punt issues (Raúl was affected in 9 muscles for example)). Plus the bike is not 600mm wide with all the forces it migh be like 700 or 800 making the tracks single line, so no overtaking or dangerous/aggressive maneuvers needed for the overtake to stick.

The initial plan was to ban (completely or partially) or limit the aerodynamics to the minimum to avoid all of this, however certain teams (ejem Ducati) where highly against it and instead suggested a limit on the engine capacity. Ash ( @motocorsas ) did a break down why it's a bad idea and what meant when it was done in the past, so I recomed you to read it.

I do know some agreement have been reached because there's some aero limitation, with the dimension of the wings.

This is said to help reduce the top speed on the straight, but what it's more important is that it will help a bit with the bikes being so physical and with the close racing. Less material is supposed to make the wings sturdier and not make them break at the minimum contact, which we know it destroys tons of races. Also as I said it will reduce how much space those bike will occupies on track with all the surrounding forces.

The back of the bike will finally be controlled and this is also important because it means teams can't do as much as they want. I think some teams bring like 2 options per weekend of this things and use both.

As I said a compromise was made, and this is personal opinion, but I think Ducati used the new concession system to avoid the banning of aero and push for the engine capacity to be lowered to reduce speed. We all know that the new concession system (as this regs too probably) needed all manufacturers agree with them and to be honest Ducati not being able to do wildcards is bad, so I guess they accepted it to keep aero. Also as I said, we don't know the full extension of the regs, so maybe there are some little details on how this aero can be and where can be placed too. Or maybe not

The hole shot/read height device is banned again for safety reason and I'm so glad that this one is out. So many times it got struck and made riders retire or being unable to ride a bike (someone said it was wrestling an alligator but I can't remember if it was Redding with only one of the front wings, Brad in the same situation or Brad with the high device stuck, or all of them). I also remember that Ducati said they could use as some kind of DRS and I thought they where delusional, so I'm glad is out. Just as more info on this, Honda used to have such an reliable rear height device that Álex Márquez had to learn a manual way to realize it, which pretty informative on how many times it happened. And then, some times even that manual realize didn't work.

The other changes are mostly related to the new engine capacity that will reduce consumption and also allow more mileage. I'm a bit iffy with the fuel, not that it's a bad idea, which I do love, it's just that we are currently at minimum of 40%, and we know teams won't put more than the necessary, to 100% in only 3-ish years. So I just hope that it doesn't cause a lot of issues in general as in F1 lead to engines losing power horse and it'll be difficult to handle. Actually that wouldn't be so bad from a safety point of view as it will decrece the velocity too.

About the GPS thing, what I understood is that teams will be able to obtain the data after the sessions, and I think the idea will be for teams to see where they are strong and where their rivals are weak to kind of make potential overtaking, and help with the racing aspect. But in my opinion will cause chaos and havoc. Like just imagine Marc letting his rival know where does he break and what is his line. He will definitely do something different in the race.

To sump up, those new regs are DORNA's intervention and how to make the racing safer with a bit of aero banning and lowering the top speeds. I think more could have been done, but again, I think Ducati had the upper hand in the negotiations by trading the concessions and keeping the aero.

I also think that MotoGP is trying to remember that even if they are prototype racing, the idea is that some day what they do is going to end on the streets and that top speed is not the main point in here but rather sustainability and safety.

MotoGP/DORNA made this video to explain this changes. I recommend you to check it out

Ups I went into a bit of a rant, but I hope this explains whatever doubt you had and helps create your own idea about them.

[alicepao13]

Hudson and Rex S03E04 - Under Pressure

And that is literally.

Charlie: *"casually" drops that he's a dive master because he thinks this will make him look cool* Sarah: *treats this information as teasing material* "So, are we talking higher or lower than a Jedi?"

He caught Covid, didn't he? Unless some writer got inspired by zoom meetings.

"Why don't you do that with groceries?" Oh, so it's not enough that he solves every case for you?

One more explosion.

Charlie having some trouble with the board. Rex is missing Jesse.

"Jesse I am not." "No, you are not." And then they flirt shamelessly.

Joe: "They were responsible for the bombing last year of the Canada Pipeline which successfully resulted in a 12-month delay of the project". Sarah: "Thank god". Joe: *exasperated look* Sarah: "That we're finally going after these hoodlums".

This scene is so funny because Joe is like, do I have an ecoterrorist supporter on my hands, while Charlie is just amused and somewhat proud.

Millennial shade. Tread lightly, Joe.

Rex just recognized someone's personal handwriting from the way they were dotting the "i"s. Everyone is fired. Rex takes over everyone's jobs.

Sarah: "You're getting pretty good at that". Charlie: "Yeah. Who needs Jesse?" More flirting.

Sarah: "And you can see how it's by a thermocline". Charlie: "Oh, am I expected to know what that means?" Even more flirting!

"Who needs a warrant when you have a Rex?" No, Charlie. We're trying to change our ways, Charlie.

You can call her a geek all you like but we know you're into that. Charlie is getting turned on by Sarah explaining scientific phenomena because that's less weird than him saying that Sarah is sexy when she's trying to intellectualize an irrational fear (S5).

So, this is about gun smuggling now?

"Please, kind sir, will you tell us what you know?" When everything fails, send in Rex with the puppy look.

"If I ever go full eco-terrorist, I am so working for Barry". Okay but you're currently at a precinct working for the police. Also, Charlie's open fish mouth reaction is hilarious.

The guns are coming from the US. That I can believe.

Time to dive!

"I'll be back". Famous last words.

Rex doesn't like this at all.

"Charlie's a dive master, I'm pretty sure he'll be perfectly fine". Unless another master is trying to murder him underwater.

I really thought he'd stabbed him the first time I watched. Sadly, no.

"Like hell I'm gonna sit there and listen to you about where Charlie should and shouldn't have been while my buddy is in trouble. Adios!"

No offense to Joe, but I'd have wanted Sarah on that. For maximum angst.

"I think you owe someone a trip to the butcher shop, get him a t-bone". He owes Rex a million t-bones at this point.

I've read a fanfiction in which Charlie gets the bends from surfacing too quickly, which is probably more realistic than what happens here. Fun whump stuff.

"You know when you left me to die down there, it was indescribable fear. Worst way to die. Only thing worse would be knowing I was going to be behind bars for the rest of my life because my plans were ruined by a dog."

We're getting deep into what I call Charlie-trauma episodes, by the way.

"I'm glad to see you alive". Instead of in the morgue, you mean. Why didn't she hug him? This episode is a failure. (Just kidding.)

I've watched the episode like fifty times and it's the first time I'm noticing Jesse's costume has a J? And of course Jesse would want to go to Comic Con. Let the nerd live.

Fun experiment: Show these screenshots without providing context to people and ask them what's happening in this scene. I'm sure the answers won't even come close to "she's trying to convince him to help clean up the ocean and he wants to hear her call him 'dive master'".

That was a lot of flirting. And some whump. Favorite ingredients for an episode. Featuring a very different Rex save.

[batsplat]

re vale retirement. he also got to race with luca in 2021 season and idk if it’s true or maybe it’s just valentino creating a narrative for himself but in one of the interviews I think??? valentino mentions that he found out he was gonna be a father the same day he decided to retire…..

(x) yeah, look, with a decision that big, there were always going to be a lot of things he had to weigh up and balance before making the call... luckily valentino has openly spoken about this, and there's no real reason not take him at his word here:

so it's like he says - of course, if you're close to taking the leap, something like that can sway you... it's natural to interpret that as the 'sign' you need. but if he'd still been able to compete he would've continued, simple as

a bit more on how competitive decline just kinda naturally hurt his love for competition:

and of course this bit...

so yeah, all in all, the main factor was definitely just competitive decline. but again, it's such a big call, this had been valentino's entire life and he'd been so committed to stretching out his competitive years as much as he possibly could... even though the decision was 'easy' in that it was clearly competitively justified, there were still a bunch of other factors that fed into the decision and the timing

speaking of timing, a little more on how that was affected by covid:

man, it was tough... in an ideal world, he probably would've retired at the end of 2020 at the latest, but I get why he didn't. after everything he's done, it would've just been kinda depressing... no fans, start of the season was delayed, all the races that year were kinda weird with the shortened calendar and all, he got covid and was out for a while - it just wouldn't really have felt fitting

and of course, yes, there was knowing he was going to be a father, there was having had the chance to race with his brother... but there was also the reminder of his own mortality, courtesy of austria 2020

like he said, this also wasn't the 'reason' why he stopped and it's around the time he actually decided to continue in 2021. still, of course that kind of thing would affect anyone. (with all sympathy to his mechanic, it's probably also not ideal to be informed of just how close you were to death on two separate counts a few minutes before you have to go out there again and finish the race. then again, the broadcast was hardly shy with the replays)

so yeah, there's all these other factors that you can point to, that valentino probably needed to help himself make the choice, take that final step. but at the end of the day, the primary factor was always going to be how competitive he was. if he could still fight close to the top, he would have continued. he couldn't, so he stopped

marc watching that austria race

[whyisstarkidfollowingmeshoo]

Speaking of that RENT show with Jeff Blim…

Jeff revealed they still owe him $1,000 for the job. It's nuts. It's crazy. Watch starting on 1:37:03 mark below.

A while ago, I posted on my main blog about another artist not getting paid fairly, but that was by a big corporate company. It reminded me that Jeff wasn’t paid for his role as Roger for a small independent theater company. Big or small, companies should pay their workers (contractual or not) fairly.

The company behind the RENT show — I may have their name wrong, tho — is called Cupcake Theater. I don’t know if Jeff will ever work for them again, but it's not like he was happy to mention that he hasn't been paid yet. That said, he did share that he was happy to perform in the musical after the whole COVID pandemic, and that in some way, it was kind of like payment.

Also, let me remind you that Jeff and Jon Matteson raised a lot of money on Twitch to continue the RENT show, so it’s wild that the company still hasn’t paid the artist who helped them keep it going. And honestly, a lot of people probably watched the show because of Jeff. The most viewed videos on LA TheatreSource’s YouTube channel features, you gueeeessseddd it!!!"

Also, they used videos of Jeff for marketing on IG. They knew he has a bigger fanbase than the others, so it’s verrrry contradictory that they didn’t pay him — especially since that kinda goes against the show’s message. Maybe. Kinda. I’ve only read the summary and watched bits of RENT, so yeah.

Jeff wasn’t mad or anything, maybe just disappointed, but it would be nice to hear that he finally got paid, even if it’s a delayed payment from back in 2022 or whenever. IDK. Like, what the fuck? Don’t scam your artists.

Anyway, I hope this doesn’t blow up into something negative (did not expect this to get so long either), because Jeff was pretty chill about it, despite still being owed $1,000. But maybe him being so nonchalant about it is part of the reason why he still hasn’t been paid. Or maybe he got tired of following them up about it and gave up and swore not to work with them again, and hopefully told other artists. But unfortunately Cupcake Theater is still pretty active.

Also yeah if anyone from Cupcake Studios is reading this, please pay Jeff or else (lol jk but srsly tho what the fuck. He said he hasn't been paid yet. What's your side of the story?)

Jeff Blim, you beautiful, stupid, scammed artist. You need that $1,000 for your coffee fund. It’s the only thing that makes you happy during your livestreams.

Anyway, here's Wonderwall.

[wetcatspellcaster]

I'm in the last few months of my PhD and am definitely flagging. Do you have any advice for the end of it?

Also, your writing is wonderful xxx

hey anon, sorry for the delay in replying, I was on holiday!!!

which is absolutely my first piece of advice - schedule a break, schedule a holiday if you are financially able to. This is a sincere plea from someone who DIDN'T do this (or rather, whose first 'break' was wiped out by covid), and it's the one thing i wish I'd done differently. Right now, you probably feel like you can't take time off (you can!) and after you submit you might be focusing on financial solvency like i was (don't!). Schedule a break. I have now had 6 months of non-stop deadline chasing and work since my surgery, and sure enough the cracks show heavily. i'm tired, my emotional regulation is shot, and i'm not doing well. DON'T become me!!! Take a day or two off in these final few months to enjoy yourself, and schedule in a CONCERTED break to be head empty once everything is over, or risk exhaustion and burnout.

my other piece of advice is subject dependent but: the thesis doesn't have to be perfect, it just needs to be done.

if you're a humanities student like i am, you will probably get corrections. your thesis could be the sistene chapel of theses, and it probably will still get corrections. so if you're pushing wordcount, or coming up against comments from your supervisor that just aren't feasible in the time you have left, then save the comment somewhere, then delete it from your current document. It can be a Corrections Era problem, not a Final Submission problem. do what needs to be done to have a submittable piece, action what feedback it's reasonable to action - and learn to trust your judgement on that! (sincerely, a me who still has issues with standing up to authority!!! I should've been deleting some stupid comments right out the fucking gate!!)

no one knows your thesis like you do. if there's feedback you don't agree with at this stage, cull it. if there's feedback that would take you over wordcount or that you just don't see the point of, cull it. trust in yourself as a scholar, and also know your limits. your supervisor isn't in your brain, and doesn't know how tired you are. There is a difference between essential feedback, and nice-to-haves, and at this stage the nice-to-have bandwidth is getting thinner and thinner. Action essential feedback, and then anything that is easy/quick to do, and will definitely improve your project. the rest can wait until post-exam x

[adamsvanrhijn]

HATE the "hey you are mildly nerdy about [subject] therefore i think you have autism" thing this webbed site has going on. Over 60% of autistic people are non-communicable. Of those who are capable of communicating - and therefore of running a fandom blog - over 30% read below their grade level. "Autism = nerdy superpowers" is such an ableist and unrealistic portrayal of autism it's actually offensive. I'd love to know how many people on here actually have an irl autism diagnosis (not Aspergers - the damage done to autistic people by combining the two and therefore centering far less disabled people as the face/voice of autism cannot be exaggerated) and how many are just playing into gross ableist stereotypes.

I hear what you're saying! When discussing autism there is definitely a very clear bias in the general fandom-y nerdy user bases of Tumblr + Tiktok + Twitter toward people who can communicate with spoken & written language, and the prevalence/prominence of those ideas has altered the way people perceive autism in a way that can reposition an already vulnerable demographic of disabled people for whom resources are already very scarce.

I will say though I don't think the autism spectrum disorder designation including people of various communication abilities and developmental delays inherently centers people who communicate at average or above average levels. Like, Asperger's is not diagnosed anymore in part because the symptom cluster was not wholly unique from autism & the people making the distinction thought that it was not useful for diagnostics and care. At least to my memory what we are seeing online right now is very recent within the last like 2-4 years and seems a lot more Prevalent online than in real life?

Part of why I feel like it's more of an issue online is that where I've lived, resources as well as general understanding of autism seems to be centering people who cannot communicate and their families and caregivers which is how it has been since I was growing up. But I live in the middle of nowhere and that might not be true other places.

I think the fact that the clinical distinction is no longer made combined with how people who right now are nerdy tweens and teens lost 1-2 years of normal social development and school attendance is probably a huge factor, and this might not be a long term issue the further we move away from the impact of covid.

On a personal note—

I also think that due to the nature of how online communities work, we don't have a view into how people with above average communication skills might be affected by symptoms of autism offline, and that some of that might be intentional in that people don't want to bring those experiences into online spaces. People like to control the image they have online, you know??

I was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder in 2016 as a young adult by a clinical psychologist after a childhood ADHD diagnosis, and my also double diagnosed brother has significantly more noticeable symptoms than I do including communication delays that I never had (I got the "little professor" moniker). I'm not sure what his first diagnosis was but we are both higher functioning/lower support needs while also in our youth being objectively disabled in a way that relates to autism symptoms. I didn't have support growing up and once I was in middle school I failed every semester until I dropped out of high school (this was also due to homophobic bullying) and he was on an individualized education plan for all of his school years.

I think a lot of people find solace in what their autism symptoms make easier, more engaging, or fun for them and want to focus on that and talk about that rather than all of the things that are difficult for them—and I bet this is especially true with younger people who might be more defensive in general and very, very conscious of how they are perceived offline. "Nerdy superpowers" online might be "can't physically go into the grocery store because the fluorescent lights are too bright" and "only talks out loud to 4 people and is ostracized in school & social spaces" offline.

[lastweeksshirttonight]

I've listened to this almost four times at this point, so I better write some thoughts on it. (Did you need them? Probably not but humor me.)

This whole podcast talks deeply about the emotional toll of COVID and the pandemic, so be advised.

Interview starts at 16:10.

To start, I think a thread that runs through this entire episode is Marc being more cynical or bitter than John about a point, and John pausing to realign himself with what his actual level of cynicism is. You can tell that Marc and John like each other a lot, but there is also a tension to some of their discussions that I find really interesting. Like a mental chess match where Marc has a clear POV and John is trying to subtly spin the response to be closer to his own ideals.

The interview opens with the two of them talking about microphone levels and people not being closer to the mic and how irritating it is when people don't know how to use microphones. I am weak to John talking

I haven't watched Rachel Maddow in a while, is she really doing radio shows about Spiro Agnew? What? Why?

John speaking about context and contextualizing our current dark reality. The way he viewed the pandemic and the extent of society's flaws, and how nothing was fixed was really interesting. For as much as he's said that he's allergic to sincerity, that's just plainly untrue. He really does want to believe in the best of everything around him - he later talks about how he loves his children so much it's painful, and I had the same thought. Marc's darkness is something else though, I would laugh helplessly too at being reminded that 30% of the country wants to kill me specifically (help)

"It will eat your messages and shit them back into your face." I truly enjoy when John goes this blue, it always surprises and delights me.

John wants everything to have a system. He really likes the John Wick coin-based hotel system. I don't quite know how the two of them got from the comfort conspiracy theories can provide in dark times to John Wick but hey.

Marc being mad about having no awards and John being like "you really didn't need to say your bitterness out loud bro" killed me.

John has no idea why LWT was moved into another category. He doesn't even know who he's competing against. The Emmys basically afford him the right to be left alone with his show. I think he values that more than anything in regards to LWT - this topic comes up multiple times in this podcast and John stresses that having no sponsors to be beholden to, no commercials, and seemingly little to no oversight makes them able to do things that just can't be done on commercial television. There are more details to mine about this later, but it seems like, for all the absolute chaos of HBO and Warner and Discovery (something John likens to continually having new fathers around and wondering if he even has to bother learning their names), he's still relatively free to plug away at LWT the way he and his team envision it. Which is a relief to hear, honestly, the delayed announcement of LWT being renewed really made me concerned that Discovery in particular was done dealing with him.

I like how John, when given questions, will often ask clarifying follow-ups in this. He's not one for vagueness as it seems - the one that particularly stuck out to me was Marc relaying how he struggles with pulling his thoughts together on current events, using the Gaza crisis as an example for him before asking how John settles on topics. John's response is to ask if Marc means in general, or om Gaza specifically. The conversation moves into the general and how LWT is made now that it's ten years in (John calls the research department a machine and I can tell Marc is hoping that John literally invented a research machine from his tone of voice), but those are two very different conversations that could be pulled from that one question.

I also love John and Marc taking the piss out of John's show. Truly, if John leaves his desk, you obviously just sat through 30 minutes of the worst human misery possible.

-

Marc: "Because of your innate Britishness and your sense of humor, that... you do irritate -"

John, sounding like something just activated in his brain and as darkly as I've ever heard him: "I love to."

Marc: " - the right - ???"

-

My new favorite running theme in John's interviews is his apparently very tense relationship with his lawyers. The nitty gritty of the legal needs of the show, and how John views his lawyers and the frustrations that come with trying to do hard-hitting topics while having lawyers drop out from conflicts of interest, always fascinates me.

John also delves into the security he requires because of the breadth of people he's pissed off. He doesn't seem to care at all and enjoys pissing these people off, despite his wife's concerns. (I'm so sorry Kate you married a deeply weird man) John derives such pleasure from irritating people that it outweighs, say, never being able to go to Thailand without being arrested.

I cannot believe the Sacklers tried to come to the LWT office. Jesus Christ the entitled gall of these people.

Marc offends John with his assessment of England having many destroyed buildings, which leads into him saying, in a way reminiscent of the long-lost American from the Bugle, that he "enjoys the castles". God I miss the American. "How old's this wall? Holy fuck!"

-

Marc: "What are we gonna do about the futility..."

John: -cracks the fuck up-

Marc, finding his point: "...of..."

John: "Let it hang. Feel free to let that hang in the air. Let's just all enjoy the fact that we're all filling it in and coming up with different, equally valid, depressing ends to that sentence."

-

John is so severely offended and killed by Marc's suggestion that he did a Q&A tour. The absolute lowest form of entertainment in both of their minds. John mentions that he emphatically told people they could leave before the Q&A they hosted at the John and Seth stand up show I was at because he feels so strongly about this. I wrongly assumed this was because John hates himself and can't imagine people sticking around for him, but in my defense, that's usually the reason he tells people not to do something/shits on his bangs/etc.

(We still have like 30 min of this podcast, why am I like this)

The question of "what's gonna happen" is a pretty dark one, as John notes. He fears the worst but hopes people will work hard to stop the path we're on. Marc wanting to illustrate where we are is pretty ridiculous, as John points out - just look around.

I think Marc talking about what "all right" means to people gets to something that deeply concerns me about what the future of this country will be for me. I don't want to be that cynical but there is a deep well of selfishness in the US (rightfully identified) that does keep the country from uniting and fighting for survival in times like this. We're definitely at that turning point and I really want to hope we don't drive off the cliff.

I am not really emotionally prepared for jokes about John being in prison, I was genuinely a bit concerned about that The Last Time. That's my own problem though.

I didn't expect to get more information about John leaving The Daily Show on this podcast, but that's one of the most interesting things discussed. Marc asks if John left TDS because he felt the freedom he has with HBO wasn't there, and John says that wasn't the case - his contract expired at the end of 2013, after his summer hosting gig. Ideally, and Jon and John had discussed this (!!), the goal was to have John do TDS in the summers so John could, you know, rest. Sleep. Not be beholden to the horrors all the time. But Comedy Central, in John's blunt words, "didn't really care", so he went to HBO. The way that John mentions that "they would have probably kept [Jon] longer" if they'd actually tried to keep John around sounds just a tinge bitter and honestly, yeah. I'm annoyed hearing that we could have had this magical 2-host version of TDS and CC just... sucks. God I hate them. They gave me most of my worldview as a teenager because of TDS, but fucking A man.

Also interesting to hear, however vaguely, that John had some other offers. Wonder what those were. My best guess, based on what else was going on at that time, is TBS (who later made Full Frontal with Samantha Bee and were building around Conan) might have made a play.

I'm not a parent, but I do appreciate the discussion of parenthood, particularly how anxiety-inducing it can be. Hearing John talk about his worries regarding his prematurely-born son definitely resonated, and I'm glad his son is doing well now. ❤️

The brick joke in the middle of the parenting discussion is the hardest I've ever laughed at Marc Maron. Truly. Masterful brick joke.

I don't have an elegant tag for this - there's much more than what I touched on here in the podcast, and I appreciate how deep the conversation gets. It was really nice to listen to this multiple times during my hell day, and to hear John talk deeper about things that he's rarely asked about.

Also I'm sorry I wrote like fucking too many k words on this, I clearly had thoughts

[mariacallous]

In April, U.S. President Joe Biden signed into law a trio of emergency supplemental spending bills, including one focused on the Indo-Pacific that is commonly referred to as the Taiwan aid bill. The new legislation seeks in part to address Taiwan’s roughly $19.7 billion backlog of arms sales from the United States—a hot-button issue given China’s increasingly provocative military activities around Taiwan and the perception among some U.S. analysts that Taiwan is not as much of a priority as Washington claims.

Taiwan relies on the Foreign Military Sales (FMS) program for most of its U.S. weapons acquisitions, which typically requires manufacturing major weapons systems from scratch. All FMS sales above a certain threshold—$14 million in Taiwan’s case—must be notified to Congress, which can vote to block the sale, though it has never successfully done so. The bureaucratic FMS process is relatively slow by design, and some delay between congressional notification and delivery is to be expected. Yet Taiwan often finds itself waiting longer than other countries for the same U.S. weapons.

In June 2017, for example, Congress received notification of a sale to Taiwan of 56 AGM-154C joint standoff weapons—guided bombs that use onboard wings to glide to their targets. The contract to produce the bomb was awarded this February, nearly seven years after the congressional notification. By the time the bombs are expected to be delivered, in March 2028, it will have taken almost 11 years for Taiwan to receive the weapons that it purchased.

Delays such as this may not seem important in peacetime, but they could become dire in the not-so-distant future. The so-called Davidson window, when the U.S. Defense Department believes that China’s military will be ready to attack Taiwan, begins in 2027. Perhaps no munition will be more critical to Taiwan’s self-defense in this scenario than the anti-ship missile, which Taipei would need in large numbers to attack Chinese warships and civilian vessels that could bring an invasion force ashore. Ground-based anti-ship missiles carried by trucks are particularly valuable for Taiwan given their mobility, which makes it harder for China to target them.

In October 2020, Congress received notification of an FMS case for nearly $2.4 billion to deliver 100 truck-mounted Harpoon launchers and 400 missiles to Taiwan, which was followed by a September 2022 deal worth an estimated $355 million for 60 air-launched Harpoons. But it took two and a half years from the initial notification for Washington to award the first contracts for this work. Taiwan will likely receive these Harpoon missiles in tranches, but the weapons won’t be delivered in full until 2030—well after the Davidson window begins.

It is difficult to pinpoint the root cause of Taiwan’s weapons backlog with available data. Congressional notifications of arms sales are easy to find, but other steps in the FMS process are not consistently made public. Simply knowing the dates of the signed Letter and Offer of Acceptance (LOA), contract award, and the initial and final delivery of a particular FMS purchase would provide a more accurate picture of why delays occur. Any future reforms to the process should include transparency measures to help researchers and policymakers identify the sources of backlogs for FMS recipients.

U.S. bureaucracy alone cannot explain why Taiwan waits so much longer than other countries for the same weapons. It’s possible that Taiwan’s internal process for payment could be gumming up the works. Purchases of foreign military equipment must be approved by Taiwan’s Legislative Yuan before an LOA can be signed, meaning that legislative delays could create a ripple effect when finalizing contracts with U.S. companies.

Stress on the U.S. defense industrial base probably exacerbates the backlog, too. The COVID-19 pandemic and Russia’s war in Ukraine shed light on bottlenecks and capacity shortcomings in the industry. This has already played out with Taiwan, which reportedly canceled an FMS case for Paladin self-propelled howitzers in 2022 due to production delays. The problem isn’t going away anytime soon, since many of the munitions in Taiwan’s arms backlog are in high demand from Ukraine and other FMS customers.

However, the recent Taiwan aid bill will make it easier to use the presidential drawdown authority (PDA), which allows Washington to take weapons out of its own military stockpiles and immediately transfer them to a foreign country. Because PDA transfers draw from existing stocks, there is no manufacturing wait time, allowing the United States to deliver more rapid support in times of need.

At first glance, PDA transfers seem to be an attractive option for reducing the size of Taiwan’s backlog. It’s clear that the U.S. government also sees them as such: In late 2022, Congress amended the Foreign Assistance Act to authorize $1 billion per fiscal year for PDA transfers to Taiwan, and the supplemental legislation passed in April allocates $1.9 billion for the Defense Department to replenish any stockpiles of weapons that it sends to Taiwan through PDA for fiscal 2024 and 2025.

But the impact of the new legislation will likely be limited, primarily because PDA does not allow Biden to transfer equipment that the U.S. military does not already have in its stockpiles. The three largest backlogged arms sales by dollar value—all done by the Trump administration and representing $12.4 billion, almost two-thirds of the backlog—consist of equipment that the U.S. military does not possess on hand. The largest of these is for 66 F-16 Block 70/72 aircraft, valued at $8 billion. The U.S. Air Force operates more than 1,000 F-16s, but this fleet does not include the variant that Taiwan purchased.

Similarly, the United States does not have any Harpoon coastal defense systems in its stockpile. When Washington announced in June 2022 that it was sending truck-mounted Harpoons to Ukraine, it did so via the Ukraine Security Assistance Initiative instead of PDA because there were no systems available for drawdown. (The United States has also used PDA to aid Ukraine, sending an estimated $23.8 billion of equipment through this method since August 2021.)

Washington might have better luck with Abrams tanks, which make up Taiwan’s third-largest backlogged arms sale at $2 billion. The United States has plenty of Abrams on hand, but the model sold to Taiwan—the M1A2T—has unique subsystems. Taiwan could receive less capable tanks sooner through PDA, but the first tranche of its newly built Abrams tanks are supposed to arrive later this year, so waiting a few more months is probably preferable.

The United States could use PDA transfers to reduce other parts of Taiwan’s arms backlog, but in many instances, Washington would find that its defense industry already has contracts to produce the weapons in question, as is the case for HIMARS rocket artillery launchers, MQ-9B drones, and multiple types of missiles and munitions. If Washington could use PDA to transfer these weapons to Taiwan now instead of waiting for defense industry to finish making new systems, it would raise difficult questions about what happens to those contracts. Would the U.S. military receive the contracted weapons instead of Taiwan? Or would the contracts be canceled?

Theoretically, Taiwan could benefit by double-dipping—getting weapons via PDA transfers in the near term while maintaining contracts to get more of the same weapons in the long term. This would be good for building up its military stockpiles, especially munitions. However, if Taiwan is still waiting for FMS cases to be fulfilled, the size of the arms backlog would not change.

It’s clear that PDA transfers may not be the most effective way to reduce the arms backlog. If deployed smartly, however, they can play a valuable role in moving Taiwan toward an asymmetric defense posture and improving its self-defense capabilities. Asymmetric defense, also known as a so-called porcupine strategy, uses large numbers of smaller, less complex capabilities to counter a stronger opponent. For Taiwan, less costly capabilities such as drones, anti-ship missiles, and surface-to-air missiles could prevent China from achieving the air and sea superiority that it would need to invade the island.

To that end, the United States should emphasize PDA transfers for certain categories of weapons. Taiwan needs more munitions and missiles of all types, but especially ground-based anti-air and anti-ship weapons. It is waiting on several types of missiles, including Patriot interceptors, Harpoons, and Stingers. Munitions are another contender for double-dipping, because Taiwan will inevitably need many reloads, and resupply would be difficult after a conflict begins.

But Taiwan has been hesitant to fully embrace an asymmetric defense strategy, and the balance of the arms backlog favors traditional capabilities. Washington can use PDA transfers to signal the importance of asymmetric defense to Taipei and send relevant capabilities that are not currently sold through the FMS system. Good candidates for such transfers include sea mines; the remote-controlled Navy Marine expeditionary ship interdiction system; and small uncrewed aerial vehicles, such as the RQ-7, RQ-20, and the Switchblade loitering munition.

The PDA funding in the Taiwan aid bill is not a silver bullet for Taiwan’s arms sale woes. Instead of viewing PDA transfers as a tool for reducing the backlog, policymakers should see them as an instrument for building up stockpiles of munitions and pushing Taiwan toward a more effective and sustainable defense strategy. Presidential drawdown authority could be a good Band-Aid for getting weapons to Taiwan, but fixing the long wait times that Taipei faces will require other solutions.

[backup-baby-backup]

Cruel Summer: the hit that was meant to be?

Pictured: dramatic reenactment of us waiting for Cruel Summer to be a single for 4 years.

Background

This summer is the apocalypse.

-- Lover Journal entry, dated 29 August 2016

We all know about the cruel summer in question, right? To be fair, technically the cruelty of the summer stemmed from "a desperate summer love that might be doomed from the start" and "some element of desperation and pain in it, where you’re yearning for something that you don’t quite have yet", and not whatever Kim Kardashian was doing on Twitter, but given how those two events occured basically simultaneously, it's not outrageous to claim both experiences informed each other.

In 2018, Taylor went on the Reputation Stadium Tour. Between shows, Taylor started working on Lover, getting into the studio with Joel Little, Frank Dukes and our favourite producer Jack Antonoff. For Cruel Summer, however, there was something special: Annie Clark, better known as St. Vincent, was a credited writer on the track.

St. Vincent had worked with Jack for her 2017 album Masseduction, so much like how Lana ended up in the studio with Taylor, we can safely assume that Jack brought the two together. On 6 June 2018, St. Vincent mentioned that she had reworked one of her songs from Masseduction, Slow Disco, into a poppier production with Taylor's support. With this in mind, we can probably assume that she had cross passed with Taylor around this time. Taylor was papped recording at Electric Lady (Jack's stomping grounds) on 18 July 2018, which lines up with this theory. [1]

The failed single push

I’m not trying to blame the global pandemic that we had, but that is something that happened that stopped Cruel Summer from ever being a single.

-- Taylor Swift after performing Cruel Summer on tour in Pittsburgh, 17 June 2023

Cruel Summer had been a fan favourite from the get-go. When Taylor held listening parties for a select group of fans, it was the song that most people had positive feelings about. When Lover (the album) dropped in August 2019, it was the third most streamed track from the album, leapfrogging I Forgot That You Existed despite it being the second track. People started to lament the... poorly-received lead singles the album had. (I have nothing kind to say about those two tracks so I won't say anything.)

Then for a while, nothing happened. Taylor released Lover and The Man as singles to various degrees of success. The Man's disappointing (by her standards) chart run probably reignited discussion about how Cruel Summer would have smashed if it were only given a proper push and the GP had understood its talent. Then COVID came along, Lover Fest was delayed indefinitely, and it seemed that the Lover era was over, replaced by Taylor locking herself in with Joe Alwyn and drinking wine.

Then June 2020 came around, and...

Now how do we know that this is true? Apparently, Cruel Summer was added to AllAccess, a website where radio programmers download singles serviced to radio. While I can't verify this myself, I have seen numerous independent sources claim that Cruel Summer was uploaded to the site specifically on 17 June 2020. [2] Some radio website also ran with the story in early June, so I am inclined to believe this.

And it's not like there weren't any official hints...

Top to bottom: Spotify "enhanced album" promo mural, You Need To Calm Down music video, Amazon Music commercial, Lover music video [3]

The catch, however, is the Cruel Summer never got an official add date. An add date is "supposed to tell [radio] stations when to add a record to its playlist". Without an official add date, stations usually won't play your new song unless it's really hotly requested.

So the song didn't get a full label push and quickly died off, despite getting some radio play in 2020 (from anecdotal evidence), not appearing on the charts. And then in July folklore came out of the blue, and with it ended the Lover era, and seemingly all hopes for Cruel Summer world domination.

A music video?

While Taylor HQ is normally as hard to infiltrate as Fort Knox, over the years bits and pieces of information have leaked about her intentions for the rest of the Lover era. Chief among them was, apparently, to officially release Cruel Summer as a single to accompany her live shows in the summer of 2020. A music video was even filmed, before being scrapped when Taylor moved into the mythical forest of folklore. 

-- Official Singles Chart (UK), 27 June 2023

Well, would Official Singles Chart lie? They do say "apparently" though, maybe to hedge their bets a little.

The problem with this claim, however, is the timeline. On 27 January 2020, Taylor released The Man as a single. She dropped the music video on Feburary 28th. Assuming a similar rollout for Cruel Summer, the music video would've come out in July. Given how the pandemic had basically put all possible filming activity to a standstill in March, it seems implausible that a music video would be filmed that early in advance, especially without knowing that the pandemic was on the horizon. Or maybe it was fully CGI and filmed in the luxury of her LA house, I don't know.

But I think there's a different catch here. Note how the above source claims that Cruel Summer would have been a single to "accompany her live shows in the summer of 2020", namely Lover Fest. According to the planned Lover Fest schedule, by the summer of 2020 she would be performing in Europe, including headlining Glastonbury.

Now consider Taylor's usual single rollout. Fearless, Sparks Fly, Red and New Romantics were all the last or second-last singles pushed from their respective albums, all of which got tour videos. [4] It seems that given how Cruel Summer would be the fifth single pushed according to the original plans, it most likely would've gotten the tour video treatment as well. Which makes sense: imagine a music video with her performing under broad daylight to huge crowds at festivals!

Cruel Summer 2: The Return of the Hit

With the advent of the pandemic something interesting happened: people started re-discovering old songs and making them into hits again. Catalogue streaming amounted to a whopping 70% of all streams in 2022. Running Up That Hill, a song from the 1980s, went viral again thanks to Stranger Things and this new ability that

Maybe it was because people wanted something familiar to go back to in a world where nothing was familiar anymore. Who knows. Many other music critics have written better articles about this phenomenon. What does matter, however, is that releasing singles from an album from years ago was now commercially viable. Sia, Lady Gaga and The Weeknd all did it to various degrees of success.

So when Cruel Summer, a song which had been among Taylor's most streamed songs for a while, acted as the tour opener on the Eras Tour [5], it would only further gain in popularity from then onwards, even re-entering the Billboard Hot 100 before it was even officially promoted to radio. And so her label moved to capitalize on this trend, and finally released Cruel Summer as a single on 20 June 2023, almost 3 years to the day after its original planned release date.

The million dollar question: would Cruel Summer have smashed if it was released as originally planned?

I'd say no. The general public had already moved on from Lover as the lacklustre The Man performance demonstrates. Besides, without the accumulation of popularity that Taylor had with folklore, evermore, the re-recordings, Midnights and the Eras Tour, who know where her career would've been?

(By the way, even if Cruel Summer had been the lead single there is absolutely no way it passes Old Town Road for #1.)

Timeline

Summer 2018: Cruel Summer is likely written around this time.

23 August 2019: Lover is released.

27 January 2020: The Man is released as a single.

27 February 2020: The Man music video is released.

5-12 March 2020: According to Steve from the IC, band rehearsals for Lover Fest took place during these days, with a whopping 32 songs.

19 March 2020: California enters lockdown due to COVID-19. Taylor was living in Los Angeles at this time.

17 April 2020: Lover Fest is officially delayed.

27 April 2020: Taylor writes cardigan, her first collaboration with Aaron Dessner and the beginning of the concept of folklore.

6 June 2020: Steve posts that cryptic message about folklore, signifying that the album was mostly complete by this time.

17 June 2020: Cruel Summer is uploaded to AllAccess, incidentally the same day as Steve teases cardigan.

20 June 2020: The European leg of Lover Fest would have begun on this day.

20 June 2023: Cruel Summer is officially released as a single.

23 October 2023: Cruel Summer hits #1 on the Billboard Hot 100.

Conclusion

Stream Cruel Summer.

[1] Cruel Summer is also the only Lover song to be registered on the US Copyright Office with a creation year of 2018, rather than 2019, suggesting that it was an early cut. (credit: @taylor-on-your-dash)

[2] Surprisingly, people have also claimed that I Did Something Bad was added to AllAccess in a similar fashion.

[3] That being said, if we take that hint in the Lover music video as hinting towards a Cruel Summer single push, this also means Afterglow was also meant to be a single...

[4] Do not quote me on this, Taylor herself didn't acknowledge that chorus of Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince either.

[5] Getaway Car should've been here...