#it pretty shitty out here
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Relationships are indeed hard and managing them do take a ugly ass work
#god I wish I could do something better but I know that with everytone hot headed it will just make it worse#it already did#today was supposed to be a fun day studying chemistry with all people that matter to me but nooo#time to face the ugly side of keeping relationships and trusting people#i just wanted everyone to get along but now I know the won’t for a very long time#my friend does not like my bf for her own reasons and he’s trying so hard to get on her good side it just Ames it worse#and I was like no yeah go for it! bcs I wanted them to be friend yk?#is it so bad to want people that I care about to at least be friends?#she hates his guts now#this is not all I’m not gonna umpack it all on a tumblr post but yeah#it pretty shitty out here#i just wanted to study holy shit#now I’m crying when I should be reviewing shit for tomorrows exam#bergi gabble
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i unsubbed from Watcher today but the people acting like steven lim is the devil and is singularly to blame for Watcher shifting to paywalled streaming are weirdos.
#is he out of touch and seem like he sympathizes way too much with the super rich and powerful? sure. but he's not The Only One To Blame.#you don't have to like steven but saying shit like “we're only here for shane and ryan anyway” is. pretty shitty?#like shayne and ryan had to have agreed to that. if they didn't they could have left.#your parasocial relationship with 2 'goofy ghost boys' is blinding you from seeing they are part of the problem here...#watcher
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I had a funny idea about Nick telling jed and octy each in private that mouth kissing is the way to greet a "good friend" in both their cultures, and since they probably don't know anything about eachothers culture so the next time they meet eachother in public they'd kiss and since they both lean into it they actually think it's the way to greet ,until one of the Roman soldiers ask jed about it and Jed's like "ain't that how y'all say hello?" And the soldier shake his head 'no' and ofc they go:
"why didn't you tell 'bout this sooner octy" "pardon? But isn't this the way YOUR people greet ,Nicholas told me himself- oh" then they play a trick on nick as revenge (they still countine to kiss but they're mad nick lied to them)
So, I was trying to figure out a design for Nicky and I was pretty confident in what I came up with so I started coloring it etc. Only to have a flash or realization that 'wait, we know what he looks like, his hair is brown not black' but it was too late. I had already used black in 3/4 drawings.
I was too lazy for actual dialogue so the ask itself should fill in the gaps
I did use brown in the last drawing tho, in a futile attempt to erase my past mistakes
#I went with the 'I'll make him look like his dad' route before I realized that he doesn't really. but it was too late#plus I ran out of the good paper#ask#anonymous#night at the museum#natm#natm larry#larry daley#natm nicky#nicky daley#natm octavius#natm jedediah#octavius#gaius octavius#jedediah#jedediah smith#jedediah and octavius#jedtavius#art#fanart#traditional art#shitty drawings and all but I think every drawing of Nicky is pretty funny so I'll allow them existing here I guess#tell me which hair color looks best? (I wanted to make the brown darker. maybe like Jed's pants or hat)
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The end of classes/preparing for finals is absolutely kicking my ass right now, so I'm repeating to myself the work ethic/words of wisdom that my family instilled in me since I was young.
From my grandfather: "work hard, but not too hard (and always brush your teeth)."
And from my mom: "it doesn't have to be good, it just has to be done."
This next week and a bit will suck but I'm gonna power through it and then it'll be over!
#the desk at this house I'm house sitting for is soooo nice compared to my tiny shitty desk in my dorm#i'm planning on doing most of my studying/work here because i'm watching the house until the end of finals so it works out perfectly#its quiet and pretty and i actually have space for all of my papers and notebooks to spread out#kaia#study space#study#study aesthetic#studyblr#studyspo#academia#light academia#romantic academia#chaotic academia#dark acamedia#testing out those tags for exposure but ik this post is not at all dark or chaotic so lmk if you use/follow those tags and want me not to#aes#aesthetic#college#university#exams#productivity#productive#school#student
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I don't often post my non kink related art but I'm tryna get the attention of someone else in the community and am too shy and cringe to reach out so. Here, have this portrait I did of Hanzo Shimada. With my finger. On ibis paint. This took me four hours. Progress for proof below.
#we have so many similar interests and im trying to not be cringe about that 🧍♂️#hi im autistic and some people are really really hard to reach out to lol#anyways ove/watch fandom please don't look at my fat kink blog i cannot handle normie anon hate rn#plus id. what u think bc u play OVE/WATCH#idc* oops#not retyping all that#and if you have seen this art on animo and noticed i updated my signature no u didnt!!!#i dont want people on amino knowing im a fat guy that thinks it hot to get fatter#let me be kinky in peace#hanzo#hanzo art#hanzo shimada#hanzo fanart#overwatch fanart#watch either get no notes at all like all my other art or spark the first fatphobic harassment campaign against me bc i dared#to post out my uaual tags#anyways#artists on tumblr#trans artist#overwatch#my art ALWAYS gets ignored its such a SHITTY FUCKING FEELING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats WHY I NEVER POST IT !!!!!!!!!!!!#but whatever im not normal and need to make friends somehow#when people learn to give the attention my art is worth ill post more#but yall on this site NEVER. do ( at least on ever blog I had before this one)#i just dobt post much of it here bc whats the point? no one gives a shit about my intrests and skillls#im just. pretty face to look at#and thats all ill ever be or amount to#bi polar ramblings ig ig ig
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writing [love]; dream, a writer.
Dream: I like writing. I like writing poems; I like writing songs; I like writing everything. I like storytelling—I just like storytelling. Storytelling in general is fun. I do a lot of storytelling through, like, my videos, through my video editing ... that's my favourite part of writing.
Dream: So, it's [love is] special, you know? You can't really explain it. Um, you know, with your mum, your dad, your��your sisters, your brothers, your cousins, your—your friends that you've known since you were a kid. Your friends that you just met a year ago that you are absolutely in love with as a person.
Dream: 'Have you written stories as well as songs lately?' Yeah—I mean, well ... I feel like songwriting is very—it's like, you just take stories—like 'Roadtrip' was, like, essentially a poem, and a story, that was turned into a song. And I feel like that's with a lot of stuff. 'Mask' is the same; 'Mask' was a poem turned into a song.
Bird by Bird, Anne Lamott | Dream Subscriber Twitter Space April 30th, @/dreamwastaken | It's Been A Long Day, Spacey Jane | Dream's Tiktok 'love is scary', @/dreamwastakenwastaken | Photograph in the studio from Dream's Instagram post, @/dreamwastaken | The Story of Mary MacLane, Mary MacLane | Our Beautiful Life When It's Filled With Shrieks, Christopher Citro | Johnny Cash’s handwritten to-do list, 1969 | Tweeted screenshot from Dream's notes app, @/dreamwastaken | Anne Carson interview, 2016 | Dream and George on the Dream Panel at TwitchCon Las Vegas 2023, TwitchCon VOD | Tweeted screenshot from Dream's notes app, @/dreamwastaken | On Writing, Stephen King | A fan's Tiktok of Dream and George at emo nite, @/angstboycam | Dream explaining 'Spotlight' in the 'to whoever wants to hear' lyric booklet, Dream | Your Song, Elton John | Fan photos of Dream and George at Dream's tour
Dream's 'Kind Of Love' speech LA concert night two, @/milktea_grn | The Power Of Love, Frankie Goes To Hollywood | Fan photos of Dream and George at Dream's tour | You Are In Love (Taylor's Version), Taylor Swift | Dream explaining 'Paranoid' in the 'to whoever wants to hear' lyric booklet, Dream | Dream and George on the Dream Panel at TwitchCon Las Vegas 2023, TwitchCon VOD | Words, Gregory Alan Isakov | Dead Poets Society, dir. | Dream Subscriber Twitter Space April 30th, @/dreamwastaken | Sweet Nothing, Taylor Swift
Fan photo of George recording Dream at his concert | Addressable Thou, Chase Berggrun | Bright Star, dir. Jane Campion | George smiling at Dream in IRL DREAM TEAM IN MADRID, Sapnap VOD | Endymion, John Keats | Dream and George on set: Everest – Dream & Yung Gravy BEHIND THE SCENES, Dream Music | [brIght], E. E. Cummings | George and Dream in IRL DREAM TEAM IN MADRID, Sapnap VOD | Sand and Foam, Kahlil Gibran
#WOOOOO WRITING !!!!!! i love it so much !!!!!!! and dream does too !!!!!!#shoutout to all the writers artists creators in this fandom u are So incredible especially my friends i love u forever <33333#imsotireduerhogou whywas i up till 4am last night doing this n then hadnt been doing the refernecbes the whole time#so just did them tonight. it is now One am. i will proceed to pass out n sleep for Ten Hours#i really like this one i am proud of it :') ive had a dream + writing compilation in my head for Ages so i am glad ifinally got to do it :D#to those who love words as much as i (and dream) do ....... to whoever wants to hear ......... <3#heres som comfort after a pretty shitty second half of the day for us all and dream </3 Hugs#my webs#web weaving#dreamie#dnf#georgie#dreamnotfound#poetry#words#writing talk#compilations#imfine goonigh Zzzzzz ..... snorkshoo mimimimimim
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Somebody kiss me 🙏 🧎
#I had a shitty day at work and at some point just started daydreaming abt making out and now I need it so bad#some pretty person come here and kiss me rn please
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hi🧍🏽♀️
#𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖ 𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐒... ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁#um so#ik it hasn't been that long but uh#im back (kinda)#im sorry for disappearing without a word 😭 i didn't wanna make an official post abt my hiatus because i knew id come back pretty soon lol#but uhh yeah#ive been kinda shitty but its gotten a little better#thank you to everyone who reached out to me to check in i appreciate y'all lots 🤍#i've been working a little on my draftsss so uh expect something to come out soon enough !#and im gonna be answering most of the asks that piled up help#uhh so yeah hopefully i dont regret coming back here 💀
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have another birb(s)
#*fandub voice* HATSUNE MIKU???#dokibird#vtuber#I don’t go here but the firing was uh#pretty shitty#dokigallery#spending 20 minutes trying to figure out what the right tags are#I feel exceedingly boomer sometimes
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“not everything is about [your thing]” is good general advice for the internet.
we all have a big issue that we care deeply about, and it probably is important, and you’re right to care about it. but be very careful not fall into the “when all you have is a hammer, all problems look like nails” trap. it’s very common.
the world is a big and complicated place, so not everything is relevant to everything else. sometimes it’s good to draw connections but a lot of the time you get led down absurd rabbit holes, from one tangent to the next.
#I’m writing this specifically about how some people blame red pill nonsense for middle school aged boys being shitty#and I’m sitting here just thinking to myself. guys. we all know that all kids go through a phase from the time they’re around 10#to around the time they’re 13 where they’re just straight up evil. I don’t know why it happens but it always does#and they pretty much always grow out of it by the time they’re in high school#this would be true with or without sneako
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honestly it's been really healing being back to actively contributing things and writing out thoughts on tumblr the last week or so, because while twitter tends to be easier for me to write out Thoughts on without getting overwhelmed, the environment in the twitter fandom circles i'm interested in is not only infested with antis but cliqueish in a way that is caustic to the fucking soul if you try to express a thought that's more than three sentences long--a hundred times over if you're autistic in slightly the wrong way--and it's incredibly reassuring to come back to an environment where the very kindest and most inclusive people toward you are not clearly thinking the r-slur the entire time they interact with you lmao
#whosebaby talks#took an incident of just open petty cruelty the other day for me to finally go#you know what all of this is doing a huge number on my self-esteem and scrupulosity and social anxiety and mental health overall#sometimes it pays to hold out and give the benefit of the doubt#when your knee-jerk reaction is to think something Must Be a Sign of Shitty Intent; bc often it will turn out that wasn't the case at all#but unfortunately sometimes it turns out people are in fact just being shitty in exactly the way you thought they were#and at the *very* best you are incompatible in such a way that if they don't have bad intentions you're just never going to be able to tell#or well. not even necessarily bad *intentions*; just shitty behavior that's harmful to you regardless of whether they mean well#sometimes you just gotta accept that even if neither of you *is* being shitty it's not worth your peace of mind to never be able to confirm#and it's better to just save both of you the stress and not try to pursue that.#it fuckin sucks when it's people you think are cool and really want to get to know; it's a hard lesson to learn; but it's the way sometimes#......and then sometimes the confirmation you finally get is that yeah okay this is some bullshit#and not in a way that can likely be communicated past; no matter how much effort you make to be kind; clear; and mature#and being publicly humiliated for carefully trying to yes-and some clarification on meta of mine#which was being used in ways i was deeply uncomfortable with; and had had no warning would take the turn that it did#and which was contributing to the original post gaining traction in the first place#all targeted in ways pretty much tailor-made to hurt someone with specific issues they had seen me talk about + acknowledged#was just. yeah i think i'm done here lmao#i am Not someone who takes down meta once posted#so the fact that it was bad enough to make me delete an entire thread really says something lol#anyway. lots of other context there; and i appreciate that in some ways the person was genuinely trying to be kind; but i'm. yeah.#that shit Hurted Extremely; and made me realize that while i'm not the *most* well-socialized or articulate or approachable#there is just something in the water over there and no amount of The Problem Not Being Me would have mattered#and the nice asks/replies/comments i've gotten both recently and during hibernation make me feel warm inside; thank y'all <3#the salt files#bullying cw#ableism cw
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is it that time already? sunday six ✨
tagging @passthroughtime @four-white-trees @phantasy14 @skysquid22 @overdevelopedglasses
after spending a bunch of time away from senseific, i'm feeling refreshed and ready to start chipping away at it again. here's something old i've touched up and made a little more presentable
“I shouldn’t have let you.”
“Not into it?”
“You weren’t sober.”
“That’s all? I was sober enough.”
“You wouldn’t have done it if you hadn’t been drinking.”
“Maybe not.” Kitakata conceded. “But I’m sober and I’d still kiss you now, so what’s the difference?”
Yagami froze.
#sunday six#i wrote the initial draft for this exchange months ago and i just couldn't get it right#but the idea was kitakata casually admitting he'd want to kiss yagami even right now. just couldn't get the words right#but! i think this is pretty much what i want!#feels good to finally work it out#not sure it's clear out of context but. kitakata is supposed to be dismissive of yagami's worries here. which is shitty of him#so one step forward two steps back yknow lmao#also prepared some placeholder chapter titles for the early parts. mostly to start to organise my document into something more digestible#i want to poke more at kitakata+sawa+itokura after the last thing i wrote about them but. sigh. trying to write them consistently#anyhow if anybody has been missing senseific updates. here it is! an update!
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Fuchgenta??
#the tiny house i based my own blue print off of is for sale at 110000 across the country#if my ass weren't broke id hop on that and drive all the way over to get it#but also 110k for a tiny house on wheels is pretty outrageous especially when these things were originally marked at a cap of 65k#once upon a year now no one can afford them#i do want a home someday and I'm also finding I'm nomadic by nature#dream would be have a “home base” with land thats permanent#but as soon as winter comes i can pack up and move south or wherever is warmer for several months before returning#that would be great for minimizing fibro flares getting away from the cold#heck if remote work ends up getting me good money after i pay off a huge chunk of medical debt i wouldn't mind#being a digital nomad for a few months out of the year#go see people i like across the pond see pompeii see rome see ireland see spain see australia see japan#so many....#theres people that want to hear the pitter patter of tiny feet before they die#then theres me that wants to see all the cool ancient human things before it disappears or before i leave earth and go home#one of the few big fears i have is it wont happen in this life#but hey i didnt think i was gonna make it past 23 let alone make it to 32#i didnt think i was ever gonna get out of my abusive household and out of my old shitty life#but im here so who knows what could happen right?#not magenta or fuchsia but some other pink variation#i just need to roll out a pink color palette and start assigning emotions to them at this point 😂#magenta is my vent word#fuchsia is my vent word for good things#idk wtf this is its a combo
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i know in OBT, damini is clearly the worse parent because she didn't even attempt to raise dielle and clearly sees her as a failure, and she wouldn't have been a good parent even if she stayed.... but damn it, the deviantart comments are so annoying about mateo that i'm this close to stanning her anyways. very epic of her to subvert gender roles by being the deadbeat dad. hashtag feminist icon.
#tbf it seems like other sites are more nuanced and sensible#but people on da straight up insist mateo did nothing wrong and even if he did do wrong... uwu its okay bc he has a broken heart#he couldnt helppppp but hit and neglect and abandon dielle because shes soooo out of control like her mommmmm#and hes just so saaaaaad... he did nothing wrong you guys he only fucked up bc his BITCH EX screwed him over.... hes a good boyyy :(#.... if i catch any of you saying that shit about bruno when we get to him....... it wont be pretty........#hate hate haaaate this attitude that shitty dads are given all the excuses in the world but shitty moms are not allowed to be nuanced#that one atla post that was like ''uwu bad moms are different from bad dads bc bad dads are normal but bad moms are UNIQUELY awful''#did so much damage to fandom discussion#tbc dielle's wish itself and obt are great about mateo. none of this is on woo herself. she did a great job at making him a nuanced#and tragic guy while still making him a good source of tension and hurt and trauma in dielle's life that still haunts her#this is exclusively frustration towards other comments that wont stop defending him and saying he did nothing wrong#hey i wonder why we're being much harsher on the female characters here than the male character who did the same thing. hm.#echoed voice#also having a sad reason for doing what you do isnt an excuse to be shitty to your kids. this is like. parenting 101 you guys
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mmmm i’m trying to decide to tag or not to tag and it is hard bc a) I want to avoid spoilers but b) I want to also not snipe people
#.txt#I have graphic depictions of violence and gore and i do think that hammers what needs to be hammered but there is a Big Fucking Thing i did#not tag for and i’m like hm. is this avoiding spoilers or is this just shitty.#it’s also like. this thing can’t really be tagged for because it’s not as simple as slapping a label on it like that’s kind of the point i’m#making and it’s sort of a scenario where i do think graphic depictions of violence does cover what happens in pretty much its entirety but#there’s also dynamics there that aren’t shown or tagged for and it’s this whole thing and idk if someone has the energy for me to hash this#out with them lmk bc i am kind of going in circles here#the behemoth#the big thing I didn’t tag is under the umbrella of graphic depictions of violence. it’s just not a specific tag
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One of the main reason I like writing omegaverse is that it's so deeply stupid and embarrassing. It's just a ridiculous set of tropes. I love it so much but we all have embrace the fact that it's so, so silly.
And that's great! It takes alllll the pressure off. No matter how seriously I take this, I'm not letting my parents read it, I'm not sending it out to traditional publishers, I'm not gonna get nominated for a Hugo.
If I finished one of my other, more serious WIPs and I was embarrassed by the result, I would be devastated. It would fundamentally undermine my entire sense of self. But I don't have to worry I'll be embarrassed by this when I'm done because it's omegaverse, so I already am!
The stakes are just so much lower.
#I've thought about trying to shave out some of the AO elements but they're pretty baked into the plot#The omega is a xtian convinced that falling in love w his (Jewish) Alpha soulmate and going into heat means he's possessed by the devil#Plus lots of messy interpack politics since his pastor is also am alpha using his werewolf powers to pretend he's working miracles#And a whole lot of oedipal drama the Alpha is dealing with#Anyway#Also not to be shitty but overall quality of omegaverse is lower.#Like I've never read an omegaverse so good I'd recommend it to someone who doesn't like omegaverse#That's my dream. Someone saying “check it out even though it's omegaverse”#Writing#omegaverse#alpha beta omega#werewolves#fanfic#(it's not fic but it belongs on the fic tag)#We don't use the slur acronym here sir. Even with slashes.#post o' mine
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