#it physically hurts how much they love each other
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Not to be the little gremlin obsessed with Chappell Roan BUT… reader thinking Logan is too cool to want a proper relationship with them, so when things get physical they insist things are just “casual” in order to protect themselves from getting hurt. But secretly you’re in love with each other, so honestly, neither of you want things to be casual at all… (mutual pining my beloved) please & thank you!! Love you!
ahh hi hi avo I LOVE this song, and this request, and you - I could so see this being a situation that Logan and reader find themselves in. I had so much fun writing this, I hope you like it! (I added a couple winks to the lyrics as well.) 💖 thank you so much for sending this to me!!!
casual | variant!logan howlett x f!reader
1.2k | posessive!logan, fwb(???), use of alcohol, mutual pining, references to oral sex and PiV.
It doesn’t matter that your heart flips when you look at him. It’s Logan. It’s just casual.
It certainly feels like a dream, watching your worlds collide.
The heft of Logan’s palm fitting into your friends as he shakes their hand - the five of you squeezed into your usual booth in the corner of the bar.
You’d say the past couple weeks had seemed that way, as well. A late-night dose of bravery spiraling into something so raw and intense and real, that you feel like you could choke on it.
Even now, there’s heat in your cheeks as your eyes flick his way. Something stirring in your chest at the way his other arm slings across the back of the booth almost possessively.
But like all dreams, there comes a moment where you have to wake up.
Because you know it’s not.
Because you know your feelings aren’t requited. How could they be, when it’s Logan you’re talking about?
A legend.
A lone wolf.
Someone important, someone whose name carries a weight. Who saved the world, from what Wade tells you.
And you’re - you.
So even if you know what he looks like beneath that flannel, know what his mouth feels like when it presses against yours - what he sounds like, when he comes - you know that this is nothing.
It’s casual. A distraction, for both of you.
And if that’s how it has to be, then you’ll do your best to show him you’re cool with it.
You just hadn’t expected this moment to come so soon. It had been a genuine offer, your “you wanna come with?” when the hour rolled around for your weekly trivia night.
Not thinking his head would cock to the side. The look he’d give you - that arched brow, as his fingers splayed out across your bare hip. Still crowded together on your couch, sweat-dewed.
The “sure, sweetheart” that slipped out.
And now you’re introducing him as your friend - that quick history you’ve perfected - rattling off the “you know, Wade from work’s roommate” even though Wade didn’t work at the dealership anymore.
He had made enough of an impression that none of your friends had forgotten.
And you ignore the bitter jolt in your stomach, when all Logan does is hum.
You think you must have assumed right.
He doesn’t correct you.
Logan quickly solidifies himself as an asset to the team. He gets a lot of the history questions that you’ve always struggled with. A shy quirk of his lips when your friends cheer, and you get swept along with it.
His hand ending up on your thigh along the way. Squeezing, when you chime in. Almost as if forgetting - it’s easy to, when you’re having fun like this.
A low rasp in your ear, when the host takes a break.
“Lemme get you another.”
You can only nod, as he eases out - taking your glass with him.
It only takes a second, before MJ’s hand slaps down on yours.
“That’s Logan?” She hisses - leaning forward, “The one who-”
“Yes.” You cut her off, ignoring the sideways glance her boyfriend gives you.
You never should have told her about that.
Had a hard enough time climbing into your car without thinking about it, yourself - the way he had man-handled you in the passenger seat. Thighs thrown over broad shoulders.
Fingers twined in his hair, as he made you moan in the dark parking garage. Too eager to make it up to your apartment.
She frowns, the words petering out, “But I thought-”
Your teeth worry at your lower lip.
“Yeah. Me too.” You sigh.
MJ knows how much you like him.
Really like him - butterflies, and everything. How it’s been years since you felt this way - slipping from you during that rushed phone call at 6 am the morning after your first night together.
Her eyebrows raise, and it’s a look you know well.
“It’s, you know.” Your hand waves, “It’s casual. It’s-”
It’s easier, this way.
Maybe if you keep repeating it, it won’t hurt as much when he moves on.
The look she shoots you is one of pity, just as a drink is set down in front of you.
Your teeth clicking against each other as the words are swallowed. Forcing a smile as Logan slips back in the booth next to you.
The next round starts a moment after, and it’s a welcome reprieve.
You miss the way his eyes narrow, as yours fix firmly on scorecard in front of you.
But you don’t miss the way his hands stay folded on top of the table, for the rest of the night.
You suppose he must have remembered where he was.
“You wanna come up?”
He lingers outside your apartment door, hands jammed into his pockets. That look from the bar is back - all dark, narrowed eyes.
A low sound in his throat, close to a scoff.
“That what you want, sweetheart?”
Your eyebrows raise, “Yeah. I do, I mean-, that’s what we usually do, right?”
He’s spent just about every night at your apartment. His things still scattered across your room. A leather jacket slung across the chair that’s tucked against your vanity.
Logan’s lips twist at the edges, eyes dropping.
“Suppose we do.” Those hands slip from his pocket, crossing over his chest, “Back when I thought we knew what we were doing. But now…”
His head shakes. A tick in his jaw.
Your stomach drops.
“What do you mean?”
Logan huffs, “The bar, baby. Is that how you really feel?”
A step closer, until he’s caging you in. Voice dropping, rough and low - near gritted out.
“Does this,” His fingers flick between your chest and his, “feel casual to you?”
Your heartbeat gallops behind your ribs.
“I thought-,” You manage, “Thought that’s what you wanted.”
He’s too close, now. The dip of his head, those eyes burning in their shades of brown and gold.
“Now, why would you think that?”
You swallow, “Because you’re you, and I’m-”
“You’re?” He prompts, but you go silent.
A sigh, when your head dips.
Unable to say it out loud.
“Driving me crazy all night, you know that?” He rasps, “Giving me those looks. Calling me your friend, when we both know your mouth was around my cock this morning.”
A low rumble in his throat, “When I still taste like you.”
Your breath hitches, as his hand thumbs at your jaw, tilting it up.
“Lemme ask you again.” His mouth is close enough now to ghost against yours, “Is that how you really feel?”
Your head shakes.
“Wanna be yours.”
It’s breathed out, just as he kisses you.
His body pressing flush, as your hands twine around his neck. A palm around the back of his neck, pulling him closer as he deepens it.
Desire thrumming to life inside you, washing out the dregs of insecurity that you’ve been carrying this whole time. Melting them away completely with the hungry sweep of his tongue, the way he swallows your soft moan.
There’s a flash of white when he finally leans back, with the curve of his lips.
“Good.”
His hand closes around the knob. A rough twist, as his another arm wraps around your waist.
Walking you backwards, into the dark.
“The let me show you exactly how I feel.”
thank you so much, again!! 💖
#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#logan howlet smut#wolverine x reader#logan howlett fanfiction#requests#avocado-writes#eupheme answers#xmen x reader
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Hello! ❤️ For the prompts - not v original but I would love something with them running into each other on a job and one of them getting injured? If it sparks joy (not that there’s much of it to spark atm) ❤️
Tommy can be professional. That's what he tells himself as he half-slides carefully down the steep slope to the two men sitting on the narrow strip of flat geound.
Howie sees him first and his face twitches in a mix of complicated emotions. "Hey Tommy." It's too casual and Howie winces.
Even so, Tommy manages a smile. "Hey Howie." He takes the opening and drops to a crouch, coming face to face with his now ex-boyfriend. "Hey."
"Hey," says Evan, face tight with something other than physical pain. "I didn't know... Didn't know you're working today."
"Changed shifts," Tommy says. To reduce the chances of seeing you at work is what he doesn't say. "What happened?"
They're on a hiking trail. Howie has a few scrapes over his forearms and elbows, and a shallow cut over his brow that's already scabbing over. Evan is the one with the injured ankle - it's his left leg, the bad leg - and Tommy's brow creases.
"I've secured it with what I had," Howie says. "But there's no way he's gonna make it up the slope and I can't carry him up there either."
"That's what I'm here for," Tommy says, not meeting Evan's eyes. He hands the spare harness to Howie. "Gus and Samuels up there are waiting for you. Then Gus will come down for Ev- for Buck."
Evan glares at him, but says nothing other than "Go, Chimney."
With Howie working his way up the slope, it's just Tommy and Evan now, and the silence is so awkward that Tommy almost wishes he had just been on flight duty today. But he had a migraine attack the day before and told Samuels to swap pilot duty for the shift.
"How have you been?" Tommy eventually asks. "Other than, you know, falling down a hiking trail and getting hurt."
"Chimney was trying to take my mind off the breakup, so I suppose I'm doing super," Evan says, sarcasm in every word. It feels wrong, coming from him.
Tommy wants to hold him and tell him how much Tommy has missed him. He settles for a deep breath and a sharp nod. Still, he can't help replying, "Guess we're both doing super then."
"You're such a dick." Evan stares at him, and God, the red-rimmed eyes are as beautiful now as they were the night Tommy ran away like the coward he was. Is.
"I'm sorry." It's a weak reply to this, to everything he's done.
They both hear Gus coming down the slope. Just as Tommy's about to stand, Evan grabs his arm and says, "I want you to visit me, do you understand? Come to the loft with my favorite poke bowl for lunch. I'll definitely be home for this week, and I want you to bring me lunch, and I want you to listen to my side of things. You had your say and you didn't let me have my say and it's not fair."
Tommy can't breathe. The touch of Evan's hand feels like it's burning into his skin. He can only nod mutely in promise and step back slightly for Gus to take charge, securing Evan to be hoisted up the steep slope.
--
Three days after that shift, he shows up with Evan's poke bowl.
--
Three weeks after that lunch, Evan moves into Tommy's place.
--
Three months after moving into Tommy's place, Evan becomes Tommy's fiancé.
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I wanted to ask, what do each of the Frankies think of the contestant?
Real Frankie:
He is the rabbit that likes the contestant a little too much. Obsessive and possessive he doesn't let them out of his sight unless he has a good reason to. And while he plays up the part of caring for the contestant, maybe even playing into the romance idea, there is absolutely no love there. He is manipulative, cunning and malicious at his core and the contestant is more than aware of this and knows how this is all going to play out in the end. When they no longer prove to be useful, Frankie will dispose of them. Will he be sad doing it, maybe, but in the end ending them with his own hands will the greatest thrill (plus think of the ratings!)! In the end, while he won't outright hurt the contestant (physically anyway) he still can't be trusted.
Cartoon Frankie:
"Hate. Let me tell you how much I've come to hate you since you turned up on my show." (Insert AM speech here yadda yadda) So toon Frankie is the one who hates the contestant the most, despises them actually. They are the reason his show was "ruined" and why he finally lost and being the brat that he is he still holds the grudge regardless if the contestant saved the show in the end. But at the same time they are the only human to stand up to him, to talk back, to make jokes at his expense and it drives him mad. He wants to put this little human in their place and remind them who's in charge (how he plans to do that is really up to the imagination), see them on their knees begging for mercy but on the other hand wouldn't it be fun to be put into his place by them from time to time. He's very internally conflicted by the contestant, he wants them dead, he wants their undivided attention, he wants from pleading for their life, he wants them to talk down to him. He a mixed up bunny and that only pisses him off more.
Monster Frankie:
Simply, he wants to eat his face. He is straight to the point, he doesn't like the contestant (considering they did kill him) and will be hostile to him but know he can't do anything to him right now. So they kinda exist in a weird limbo, where yes Frankie will chase him, but he isn't trying to kill him, maybe throw him a round a little like a cat with a mouse but that's all. Until the next season of course. He isn't as vocal about his feelings towards them but it's clear he is still bitter about what happened but does at least hold some respect for them, hence why he listens to Real Frankie and not Toon Frankie about the contestant's fate. He rarely interacts with them due to the contestant being the most frightened of him but will occasionally drift around them like a house cat merely to spend time in their presence until he gets that look in his eye and it's time to play again.
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The Mystery of Chopper Base foreshadowed Ezra's exile.
Ezra's anxieties about Malachor brought him to Zeb. He was headed to a Sith temple with Kanan and Ahsoka, and it was with Zeb that Ezra was able to show his more vulnerable side.
He said it. "I don't know when we'll be back. Or if we'll be back."
And the thing is...the Ezra who came back from Malachor is not the same Ezra.
The new Ezra that came back was traumatized, angry, defeated, grieving, and he blamed himself for just how sideways their mission to Malachor went. This new Ezra started wielding a green lightsaber and came very close to falling to the dark side if Kanan had not been there to pull him back from the edge.
This Ezra came back jaded and vengeful and guilt-ridden after Maul blinded Kanan, and he and Kanan had been forced to leave Ahsoka behind with Vader while the Sith temple collapsed around them.
This Ezra came back with a Maul shaped shadow doing everything possible to make Ezra his new apprentice.
This Ezra survived against Darth Vader for a second time (because someone else was there to save him).
Ezra was already grieving the death of his parents when Malachor happened. Malachor hurt everyone in his family. He brought Kanan back to Hera physically injured and forever changed, and he wasn't able to bring Ahsoka back to Rex at all.
But despite the grief that everyone was experiencing, they persevered. Hera continued on with the mission and Rex spent just as much time pulling Ezra back towards the light as Kanan and Sabine did.
Hera and Kanan's final conversation before Malachor ended up becoming a reality. Kanan regained his vision and was able to look at Hera in his final seconds of life.
Ahsoka and Rex's final conversation was the very first scene in the Twilight of the Apprentice, and it was over Space Facetime. Rex was so nervous about Ahsoka going without him and she had to remind him that she was not alone. Rex is used to mourning his brothers. He's done it thousands of time. He's used to seeing his own face die over and over again. Losing Ahsoka would be different though. She wasn't a clone trooper, but she was still a soldier just like him. She was his best friend, his closest ally, someone he trusted with his life more times than he could care to count. They were each other's sword and shield.
Ezra understands these bonds. It's what his bond with Sabine was becoming.
And all of them (with the exception of Kanan because my boy sacrificed his life to save the people he loved, and Ahsoka because we don't even know when she is, let alone where she is at this point) followed Ezra into battle to take Lothal back from the Empire. They freed Lothal from the grip of Darth Sidious, but Ezra didn't get to see it happen. He was somehow surviving a long ass trip through hyperspace with space whales and a very pissed off Grand Admiral Thrawn.
He spends ten years in exile, alone, on another planet in a distant galaxy with a ship full of stranded Imperials nearby and always ready to kill him, but he still manages to find a new family, traveling with them and protecting them, grieving his loss and becoming more attuned to the Force.
The Ezra that Sabine finds is so much like the Ezra that she first met on Lothal. He doesn't seem to be carrying a heavy burden, but he knows he needs to get back home because Thrawn is a Big Problem, and he's had ten years learning how to outsmart the Imperials and the Nightmothers.
He's returning home with a lightsaber that matches Kanan's and he's about to meet Kanan's son Jacen for the first time.
The empire is toppled now but he and Zeb will have plenty of war stories to trade when they see each other again, especially as the threat of the Empire's return is rising again.
#star wars rebels#ahsoka series#star wars rebels was always foreshadowing sabine becoming a jedi too#ahsoka was such a good series and i am so excited for season 2#and i can't wait to see ezra reuniting with his long lost family#jacen has only ever heard amazing stories about ezra bridger#and now he's finally going to meet him#star wars needs to start paying my therapy bills because it loves to break my brain on an emotional level#ahsoka tano#sabine wren#ezra bridger#zeb orrelios#convor convor convor#kanan jarrus#captain rex#jacen syndulla#hera syndulla#ahsoka's gotta deal with the mortis gods again it looks like and i'm so ready because mortis is my favorite arc
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Vi and Jinx’s story is literally so tragic and I don’t think enough people talk abt it. Like 2 sisters who both have severe trauma and pressure on them at a young age (heavy on pressure for Vi) who also lost their parents in a war. Now they’re fighting on the opposite sides of one, and are “enemies”?? That shit is so tragic bruh😭
these sisters underrated in their own show bro LMAO there are so many layers to vi and jinx's tragedy. they're both victims of their circumstances. external forces physically and emotionally drove them apart. in a sense, both sisters are stuck in the past (at least in season 1) and they're having trouble finding a way forward. someone made a comment about how, as much as the audience wants and knows that vi and jinx can resolve their conflict, it also feels impossible, and that hurts.
vi's parentification is particularly sad to me, especially since it transcends the show. and by this, i mean her parentification puts a lot of pressure (and a lot of the blame) on her, not only in the show, but also by the fan base.
i think people often forget that vi and jinx lost the same people, they are both painfully familiar with loss and share their trauma, but they can't understand each other because they both changed in drastically different ways from it. the lack of focus on vi and jinx from the fan base saddens me, because their story is complicated, it's sad, but it's also, in some ways, rooted in love. i agree that they aren't talked enough about, i wish there was more fan art and fan fics with them, but hey, it is what it is right?
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heyyy can you please do a dating Kenan Yildiz headcannon🎀
- Kenan isn't just your boyfriend he's so much more than that he's your best friend too you were friends before you started dating and Kenan never lets that bond go he wants to always be there for you at any time whether that be as your boyfriend or as your best friend
- He always treats you like a princess he always makes time for you and plans romantic dates at least twice a month he tries his best to do weekly date nights but he likes to take you out to a nice restaurant or something similar a couple times a month to make up for the amount of time he spends away from you
- You are always his main priority so he always checks in with you to make sure you are happy and are coping with whatever you have going on at that time he always likes to make sure life isn't too much as he knows his reality is quite crazy and full on so he likes to make sure you are keeping up and if you aren't he wants to help you
- This sentiment is carried through every second of your lives if you need him he will be there no matter the day or time he'll be there he can't always be there physically but he does his best to help you from wherever he is and if he has to he'll get his friends to go to you if you just need someone there
- Kenan is completely obsessed with you from the moment you met he was completely infatuated with you and that only got worse when you actually started dating he is so in love with you that sometimes he doesn't even know how to process his feelings towards you. He is so in love with you and he doesn't care what anyone else says they can make fun of him all they want but he knows how he feels and he knows he's never going to love anyone else more than he loves you
- He can be quite clingy after a long day all he wants to do is have his arms around you for the rest of the day he is literally attached to you at the hip as you try to do anything he always has his arms wrapped around your waist and his head in the crook of your neck as he just wants to be close to you and you will never complain about having him be so clingy
- His love language is definitely physical touch his hands are always on you when you are around but he also loves to give you gifts at the end of every week he likes to bring home something for you to show his appreciation for you even though he tells you everyday how much he appreciates you. Usually it will be something small like flowers or your favourite snack but sometimes he'll get you something he knows you've been wanting like a new book or a switch game you can play together
- Kenan never has a bad word to say about you when anyone asks him about you he will only ever say how truly amazing you are not just as his girlfriend but as a person. Even if you’ve had an argument Kenan will never speak badly about you as he knows anything he says won’t be true and he’ll feel awful about it later. He knows that you receive a lot of hate on social media and he never wants to add to that so he wants to show people how amazing he thinks you are in hopes that it makes even a small bit of difference
- You two don’t often fight as you are good at communicating with each other and you know what annoys the other so you don’t do it but of course there are times that you do argue like any other couple but you always make up within a few hours. Kenan has a rule that you never go to bed angry at each other after one argument and a night apart that really hurt you both and since your relationship has been so much better
- He is your biggest supporter and you are his he loves seeing you there to support him at his games wearing his shirt but he loves to be there for your achievements more. He would never skip something that is important to you even if he gets in trouble for missing training he doesn’t care. He knows that you will be in his life longer than football so he wants to be there for all the big moments in your life
- Kenan already knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with you so he makes sure he treats you that way you aren’t just his girlfriend your his future and he always wants you to know that
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Hey if you could can you write for the Ancients comforting a fellow ancient reader who got kidnapped by their beast and chat with them? (I don't know how else to work this I'm not good at explaining things)
Plot suggestion: basically it's kind of just the scene from Sam Remy Spider-Man from Peter Parker getting kidnap to Green Goblin giving them a proposition then flying away saying "THINK ABOUT IT "HERO"" but with some alterations
Here's the scene that I'm talking about
https://youtu.be/sAfxBXAQCZM?si=LfuEqW_z1cqA9uqp
Brother, I had to go watch that scene- I will gladly do it. Side note, most likely going with the light of patience Y/N cookie because that's currently the only Y/N ancient cookie I've created.
Comfort after the chaos
After a long lasting series of VERY unfortunate events, you were back in your kingdom and exhausted. You just endured what seemed to be a forever lasting trip to and from Beast-Yeast and you had a lot on your mind. Especially after your encounter with the beasts. You have no idea how, but you had to travel there 5 times. And in all those five times you found yourself held captive. You were doing this to help your fellow ancients, NOT BE KIDNAPPED 5 TIMES IN THE TIME SPAN OF FIVE WEEKS!
Speaking of the ancients, they were all worried about you. You didn't have a previous holder of the light of patience, so there was no particular beast who was after your soul jam. But that was more of a reason to help your companions in defeating their beasts. However, you seemed to be targeted more than your allies, and no matter how hard you tried you found yourself in the same situation. In the clutches of the beasts.
The Beasts didn't harm you physically, but the mental trauma was far from ceasing anytime soon. Everything each of them said correlated to the conclusion that you'd be better off joining them and giving in to the corruption. Because there's nothing more the people love more than to watch a hero fall. In the end they'd all grow to be bitter to you, grow to hate you despite how much you've done for them. They'd hurt you and part of you knew it was true. "So why not hurt them fiirst?" That was always the question. All those interactions ended with them leaving you to think about it and you had never quite recovered from the experience
Your discomfort and unease did not go unnoticed by the other ancients, oh not at all. Every time you returned from beast yeast you seemed more shaken up and all of them felt guilty for having you tag along only to return traumatized. With this in mind, they all tried to comfort you as best they could. Though you never actually told them what had happened during your time being a hostage, they were determined to soothe any discomfort.
"Do not allow Shadow Milk cookies words to get to you, Y/N cookie. Anything from that Beast can not be trusted." Pure Vanilla cookie stated as he pulled a placed a tea cup on the table in front of you. He walks behind you and pulls a blanket over your shoulders as a means to make you feel at ease. And it's working. "I promise you that he will never be given the chance to disturb you so much. I will always be here to stir you in the right direction if he ever tries to get in your head again"
"I apologize once again that you had to be dragged through that issue, Y/N cookie." Dark Cacao said, he had grown a bit soft after he saw how being kidnapped had effected you. Despite you reassuring him that it wasn't his fault, he couldn't just leave it be. Though he wasn't exactly... best with comfort, you could see he was trying. Caramel Arrow Cookie and Crunchy Chip cookie were doing more of the direct comforting for him, CA occasionally hugging you and making sure you were ok whilst CC had his cream wolves huddle around you to comfort you. Both methods worked quite well. They did this because Dark Cacao himself genuinely wasn't sure of how the best way to console you would be after encountering Mystic Flour cookie. But you did appreciate the effort.
"Go on Y/N cookie! I insist. Anything you want shall be yours" Golden Cheese said. She had a plan, and that plan was to spoil you filthy! Anything you had taken an interest in was immediately yours. And even if you didn't want anything she'd still buy you things she knew you liked or gave you comfort. She would take you on flights around the kingdom too. She had also grown a habit of hugging you and wrapping her wings around you as though to protect you. And she was protecting you. Protecting you from Burning Spice cookie, as she should've done when you were still in Beast-Yeast. She's got you, and she ain't letting NOBODY try taking you away from her. They'd have to catch these hands first! And that gave you a sense of security
"How are you feeling, Y/N cookie? You doing better?" Hollyberry cookie asked as she prepared another cup of juice. You were both outside and she had been more of an energetic comforter than the previous three. A bit of fresh air and exercise should be a good distraction from whatever the heck Eternal Sugar cookie had said to you. She had also gotten you a lot of juice. Like- A LOT. You weren't sure if she was trying to get you drunk or something but fortunately none of them seemed to have alcohol. At least not the ones she had given you. She was also quite insistent on a bit more training so you could better prevent such situations, which was something you expected more from Dark Cacao but for some reason it didn't happen. Regardless, she's wants you to be protected, even if it's not by her.
"Please don't stray too far away, Y/N cookie. I still have yet to fully adjust to the forest myself." White Lily cookie requested as you both took a stroll under the night sky. She had been a lot more cautious with you after having lost you to Silent Salt cookie. She tried everything that usually made her feel better with you. Taking you to flower gardens, having a cup of tea whilst reading a good book, cuddles, any and everything. She also had the faeries take care of your needs when she couldn't be near, which they did gladly since they were aware of your contribution to their queens victory. White Lily will make sure you are as comfortable as possible and having her around is comforting in itself.
#crk x reader#crk#beast cookies#beast#cookie run#cr kingdom#cookie run kingdom x reader#crk ancients#white lily cookie#hollyberry cookie#golden cheese cookie#dark cacao cookie#pure vanilla cookie
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Cheng Xiaoshi would sacrifice himself to save Lu Guang and Lu Guang would sacrifice EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE to save Cheng Xiaoshi
#shut up#it physically hurts how much they love each other#this ship dynamic is everything to me#they both know it's fucked up#but they don't care#because the only thing that matters is the other#😭😭😭#please I'm obsessed#link click#shiguang
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It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.
#I fucking hate having bpd#while I’m at it I don’t understand the fuckin audacity some people have to say they love you and do horrible things to you#I feel so stupid#I feel so stupid for believing all the lies#but I was so in love and put him on such a pedestal that I just allowed it all.#thinking about someone constantly and grieving over them and knowing they’re perfectly fine and to them you don’t exist#I’m still in such a state of grief and I don’t understand why time hasn’t healed#it honestly feels like it’s gotten worse w time#I just torture myself but I can’t help it my brain wants me dead#it’s so painful I feel so fucking stupid#being abandoned with no closure by someone who’s your entire world#for someone they were unfaithful to you with multiple times (I don’t even know how many and dony want to know) immediately#like that was the plan all along#he took our cat hundreds of miles away and I don’t even know if he still has her or if she’s still alive and I miss her every day#I never loved someone like that and it feels like the heartbreak is actually physically killing me#i spent 1/5 of my entire life with him#I was my prettiest and had the best body at the time and I wasted it on someone who didn’t appreciate me#not wasted. it wasn’t wasted. we had some incredible times together#I’ll never be that beautiful again#and now idk what do so bc i can’t decide which is worse: being alone and isolating or loving deeply and ending up horribly hurt all over#it’s all just so upsetting.#and I feel so stupid for allowing it all#he knows more about me than anyone and he made me feel like he loved me so much sometimes and then did horrid things and it’s so fucked up#nobody read this I’m so embarrassed and horribly broken#it traumatized me so much there was so much abuse and pain idk if I’ll ever recover#I deserved it but it still hurts my heart#I was so mentally ill and sick I know it had to have been miserable to be around me#there are so many things only he understands and knows about me and I need to talk about them I j wanna b able to b there 4 each other#but that girl is so beyond insecure and controlling so. if I want to talk to who fuckin gets me I’m just fucked#why lead someone on like that for years knowing you’re going to abandon them the second it’s convenient
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truly going feral over gungrave y’all trigun fans HAVE to watch it
#on ep 16 or 17 rn and harry STILL has to get a grip#and also he’s so painfully in love with brandon#and even if he isnt they love each other so much like. platonically#as best friends#that it physically hurts me to see them in this situations#gungrave#im gonna go home and draw tragic gays#nightow KNOWS how to write tragic characters#fuck this guy (😭😭😭😭😭)#gungrave anime#shut up stef#trigun
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What if I let Felix get a little silly (read: protective) with it
#smol makes art#Felix Marland#So lore time: something that breaks Felix's heart is seeing the disrespect Nishiki suffers when he knows how capable he is#and he wants nothing more than to stick up for him and tell people to go fuck themselves but unfortunately he is a civilian plus has a rep#(that rep being Slutty Rich Pretty Boy) so him saying somethin would get Nishiki mocked more (aww need ya boyfriend to back you up bossman?#so all he can do is sit by and try and comfort his man without letting in how much he loves him whilst trying to show him he cares and can#be trusted but it's very difficult. he also doesn't particularly want to kill people and actively avoids it even when fighting#but consider: What if he snapped a little bit. What if he let himself get angry and let people know. What if he started threatening people#who mocked or hurt his man. Cause he knows Nishiki can stick up for himself physically but he's still gonna get their asses#look it's not exactly healthyyy or even really canon but consider if they're mad for each other is it so bad? :3#note: Do Not Apply To Real Life. But here we have fun. They're fucked up but adore each other and make each other happy
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Cross-team Sniperspy Webweave
the stanley parable / vices and virtues - reinaery / yves olade, bloodsport / diluted - death spells / susanna moore, in the cut / amal el-mohtar, this is how you lose the time war / tongues and teeth - crane wives / terrance hayes / janet finch
#toxic old man yaoi ♡#jokes aside god i cant atop thinking about them... how much they hate each other how much they need each other how much thwy want to tear#the other apart but they cant let go. spy needs someone to distract him sniper needs an outlet spy wants more but cant show it sniper wants#more but he cant trust the damn man because hes a spy they want to love but theyre so broken and hardened by life they cant THEY CANT#how deeply their affections go beyond the physical but how unable they are to express it because what theyre doing to begin with is wrong.#they want to hurt they like to hurt they want to love they love love but hate feels comfortable. they know what hate is. love? no.#how can they love?#this is about tf2.#sniperspy#sniper#spy#tf2#team fortress 2
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That scene from A Tale of Two Stars, from Stan's perspective.
#I imagine its pretty darn scary having your carer/ grunkle beaten up by this random dude from a portal that your grunkle liked#also the 'you didn't tell me you had kids down here' bit Ford looks so guilty like#like he knew he just full on attacked this man - which in his mind is morally fine - but in front of kids? that's where ford draws the line#and stan just looks really sad when he looks at scared Mable#also the r-i-n-g bit is the tinitus caused by Stan's ears slamming into the ground/ dislodging his hearing aid ( and totally#not me deciding that adding the goofy (but still scary) dialogue because it would ruin the tone and also because I hate writing in bubbles#also you all know I had to add the bloodied nose from the story boards what sort of person would I be if I didn't? ;>#when they tell the story it certainly affected Mable but I imagine Stan's joy at seeing his brother being reciprocated by a punch really#imprinted on her I think#she's not scared of loosing dipper until she sees the grunkle she trusts (enough to potentially doom the world as of the last episode)#be so so wrong about his brother - when you see a grown up getting betrayed or being wrong it really impacts a child y'know? so yeah#but I love ford being so caring about children even when he hates his brother and wants nothing more than to slam him repeatedly into a wal#he sees children and immediately changes his attitude#is that because of his parents do you think? did he and stan see or experience physical abuse? is that why he cares so much about these#children not seeing their grunkle getting hurt? Did he see his mother hurt or stan? we all know Filbrick wasn't the best dad ever so...#because as much as stan and ford are jerks to each other they care about Mable and dipper from the moment they saw them and that's just ...#I love them#also I am so surprised by how easily they accept ford into the conversation like I get it for narrative purposes but#someone just attacked your boss/dad or your grunkle/grandpa and even if there were just massive secrets revealed and its like a celebrity (#aka the author) he still punched your boss/dad/grunkle in the face and pinned him to the floor#did no one want to stop that or...#but for real I love how quickly Mable is like 'hey this guys odd and I love his fingers “a full finger friendlier than normal” my heart#anyway I had to draw it so I did#your welcome!#lol#grunkle stan#grunkle ford#dipper pines#mable pines#stanley pines
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It hurts again and again that the only person I can save is myself
#my closest friend just ended our friendship. I don’t know how to feel#obviously I’m sad but also not as sad as I thought? I feel like#I have matured and no longer see losing someone as the end of the world#but maybe I’m also just numb and it will kick in later#morris I loved you and still do. some things will always remind me of you#and I’m sorry it had to end this way. I’m sorry that we hurt each other.#more than anything I’m angry at all the people who hurt us before we even met#everything that made us have such a hard time trusting other people#maybe in another life we could have loved each other properly#I’m sorry again. but I also know that I don’t want to be a part of that unhealthy dynamic anymore#you taught me so much and you were the first person I’m not related to who truly felt like family#I hope you find a way to heal#I hope you keep my letters and think of me from time to time#I chopped jalapenos today and as usual forgot to wash my hands#got some in my eye and now it hurts to shed tears physically as well as emotionally#I wish that someday we could reconnect when we’ve grown more. even if it’s years or decades from now#I know it’s probably not going to happen#goodbye old friend#words words words
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very busy babysitting a duo of kittens (only two months old) the last few days but i shall be drawing when i return home (this includes requests)
and also if anyone wants to see the babies send an ask and i can post them in response hehe i have taken SO many photos
#yew branch#also i just missed a step on the stairs going down and ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow#i am now trapped on the couch until my back stops exploding at least a bit#upside tho is that the kittens are playing together on the couch#sometimes right on my lap!! theyre so so so so cute#i adore them#BUT YEAH i shall be drawing when i return home provided my back allows me to sit upright by that time#bc it sure isnt rn GDJSGJS#im sad ill have to go home tho.. these kittens are some of the cutest beasts alive#life is worth living because every day kittens are playing and having fun#i miiiiiiight be able to indirectly take one#one of my best friends might possibly be able/willing to take one and keep her with her own cat for me#until i move out of my parents house mid next year#so i might get to have... kitten that ive watched grow up from newborns...#the story behind these kittens is that one of my other best friends took in a stray and she turned out to be pregnant#and had these two!!#im also watching the three adult cats in this house but theyre not nearly as much of a handful#as can be imagined this friend is very tired of having 5 cats in the house regardless of how small two of them are GDJSVSN#which is very very understandable#i dont think i would want five cats unless i had a fairly large house. if i had a large house and plenty of free time most of each day#to give them play time and tons of affection#as well as the physical ability to keep up with them all#then id gladly have five cats#who knows maybe someday ill have a nice big house and plenty of spare time and my ddd will be under control#but that doesnt seem likely#aside from ddd being managed! because i have a pain relieving steroid injection tomorrow and then ill be starting physical therapy!!#im excited and i have a lot of hope for at least the physical therapy to help#PLUS THEY HAVE A POOL FOR PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!!!!! AND I LOVE SWIMMING ESPECIALLY AS A GENTLE WORKOUT#and low impact things are very important for my body specifically i cant do high impact exercise or itll hurt me#plus i just love being in water i swear i was meant to be an aquatic elf from dnd
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truth is SOME BITCHES OUT THERE are boring as fuck.
I miss the old days when we were all fucked in the head and down for whatever novelty take/approach we had to these characters in this DARK FANTASY trilogy we adore.
not..... you know. who is the nicest character doing the nicest things in the nicest way.
#god forbid we have fun anymore like jesus!!!!#i'm so sorry i answered a fucking ask#iykyk#i miss talking for hours and hours and HOURS about all the fucked up insane unhinged stuff Damen and Laurent did to each other#instead of trying to cleanse them from their faults and severe personality flaws#if you want it baby i can make a post JUST LIKE MY PREVIOUS ONE#about Laurent abusing Damen for YEARS and Damen choosing to stay with him out of guilt#finding excuse upon excuse to overlook the damage Laurent's doing to him because in Damen's head it is his fault Laurent even acts like tha#because it was his killing Auguste that offset years of suffering for Laurent#so laurent hurts him PHYSICALLY and on purpose again and again but Damen stays and never lets anyone intervene#because most of all he loves laurent#while most of all Laurent resents Damen while refusing to let him go#just because of how afraid he is of being alone -- and how much deep down he enjoys inflicting pain onto Damen as pay back for Auguste#like?????#it goes both ways love -- they are TOXIC people#both of them#but then#i suppose you didn't send the ask did you? what a shame#i guess abusive damen is what we got for lunch today 🤭
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