#it must have taken a while to digest all of that

[lavender-phoenix-flames]

Mdzs is quite hilarious if you look at it from juniors' pov especially jingyi's perspective. Going from saying hanguang-jun isn't a cutsleeve to finding out he infact is very cutsleeve and the person that is supposedly a lunatic gay man is The yiling patriarch, who isn't actually a villian the people painted him to be but is a hero and now is married to hanguang-jun and all this happened in the span of like a month or few, right in front of you!??!

They just witnessed the most crazy romantic yet tragic gay love story unfold in front of them and learned about the hypocrisy and corruption of the world around them all at the same and in such a short time, it's crazy.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Actually, I think this does link in with a wider conversation that I have been thinking for a while Tumblr maybe needs to hear.

There's a common meme on this site now that no one here has any reading comprehension skills. The best one is, of course, the original "No offense but reading comprehension on this site is piss poor/How dare you say we piss on the poor" post, which gave rise to the nickname "pissing-on-the-poor website". There's also the "I like pancakes/How dare you say waffles are terrible" one. Both of these are great, because they're silly jokey ways to show two closely related phenomena that are probably the commonest ways to fail a reading comprehension check.

The first is someone reading certain catchphrases or buzzwords in the post, and based on their own biases or prior experiences or whatever else, their brain simply fills in what it reckons the poster is saying on the topic. Instead of reading the rest of the sentence and digesting it, the reader then just uses their assumption as the interpretation, and reacts to that.

The second is closely related, because it also uses biases and prior experiences to to interpret the post, but rather than ignoring what the OP is actually saying, it instead performs a series of gymnastic leaps to construct a whole new assertion on the OP's behalf that simply isn't there.

There's also a third, of course; that one is people being so eager to feel smug and superior over someone they perceive as Bad that they wilfully assume the OP is stupid or being serious when they're actually joking. And if the reader hadn't been so blinded by their desire to get to look down on someone, they'd have seen the very obvious tells, sometimes even including sentences like "Obviously this is a joke." (I think we have all seen examples of these. Also, in a bid to avoid as many reading comprehension fails here as possible, this does not include misunderstandings borne entirely of neurodiverse struggles to parse intentions; but, neurodiverse people are just as likely as neurotypicals to have ego play a part in their misinterpretation of others, and that is what this point is about.)

And the thing is... actually, we are all capable of any of these. I imagine a sizable chunk of people reading until this point were probably thinking "Lol, yeah, people are so stupid," but na, nage, I'm not having that. Literally everyone does these sometimes. And it becomes a particular risk when the topic under discussion is something that might brush against an issue that is a pressure point for you, like a social justice talking point that you are forever having to argue with internet strangers about, for example. Your brain holds schemas! And sometimes it likes to pattern match things before it deigns to tell you about its findings! And that can hit you right in the emotions, which if they are strong enough, really can shut down all rational thought.

But. This brings me to the real point of the post.

Because the thing is, we have all saddled up and gone to war under these conditions, or at the very least been strongly tempted to. And a vital skill that literally everyone has to learn, sooner or later, is:

Before you hit 'reply', double check the post to make sure you fucking understood it.

And that does not mean "simply re-read, confirm your bias, carry on." It means, "Is it possible to read this post from the point of view of someone who doesn't intend it the way I've taken it? If I put myself in the shoes of an innocent, could they still have written these words? Is there another interpretation for these phrases?"

And you do have to do this step. You simply do have to. Because if your desire is to 'clap back' and call someone a gargling knobskin made of garbage, fuck me sideways but you must see that it is imperative that you check if they actually deserve that kind of treatment first. You cannot spend your time claiming that we must all choose to be kind and then not bother doing your due diligence before screaming a person's various and assorted bigotries at them. If you misread it, and they were innocent - you are the raging aggressive cunt in this situation.

It does not matter that you reacted from an emotional place of normally having to defend yourself either, by the way. Sure, that makes the quality of your human soul better than that of the average Redditor who just enjoys anonymously hurting people, I guess? But it's also irrelevant. If you messaged someone and called them a misogynist because you performed several mental somersaults and landed on your own sore spot when they meant no such thing, you are the attacker. You owe them an apology. And yeah, sure, you can explain your over-reaction as the product of your normal experiences if you like, but that is only an explanation, not an excuse. You are still the asshole here. You still need to apologise and mean it.

And you could have avoided it if you'd done that due diligence, as you should have. If you're going to take a swing, make sure it's the right target. This was once described to me as donkey people - they don't think, they just kick. This is admittedly a little unkind to donkeys, who always do their due diligence, but I feel it's an apt metaphor.

TL;DR: If you feel moved to angrily reply to something, first make sure you've interpreted it right. Don't be a donkey person. And if you ask for clarification, people are innocent until proven guilty. Ask nicely. If they are a bigot, you can then smelt them for parts.

[luvvixu]

mind over matter pt. 3

synopsis: witness how your marriage was bound to fall apart with you on the front seat and your husband gojo had missed the show—now, he gotta figure out the story on his own.

content: arrange marriage au, angst, husband!gojo, mean!gojo, mention of blood, strong languages, some unsettling scenarios, emotional trauma, read at your own risk

a/n: yooooo, finally an update!! thanks for waiting everyone~ i actually took a small break because my friends and i had a beach outing and that was great!

previous / masterlist / next

you feel like you had the longest dream in your entire life the moment you slowly open your eyes and reveal the white plain ceiling with matching beeping sound coming out from the machine.

it takes a second or two to realize that you're in a hospital.

like a seemingly newborn, your half lidded eyes traveled across the room until it reached the sight of some peculiar white haired male with his face buried on your arm, sleeping uncomfortably while sitting on the cold hard chair.

you could feel your whole body ache when you tried to move some parts of your body to stop it from numbing when you noticed some kind of empty feeling—like something was missing.

it did not take you a while to realize that your stomach feels so empty right now, and you know it's not because you're hungry, but because you couldn't feel your baby anymore.

an anguish screech escapes from your mouth when you realize that the baby isn't part of your body anymore. tears stream like a waterfall as your body automatically sits up and hugs your lower body, specifically your stomach, because you cannot accept the fact that your baby has been taken away from you.

this immediately woken satoru up and started to console you. “hey, hey, y/n! i’m here. i'm here.” his voice was soft and comforting but there's a hint of shakiness due to your sudden outburst.

��satoru, my baby! i can't feel my baby! my baby is gone!” as an upcoming loving mother, it hurts you so bad that you'd rather die than to accept this.

the sound of the machine keeps on loudly pulsating, meaning that your heart rate is rising quickly and it's dangerous for you to get stressed since you just came out from the operation.

“y/n! the baby is fine. our baby is fine. they were being cured by the best doctors so don't worry.” pulling your body close to his, satoru caresses your hair and keeps on murmuring some comforting words to calm you down.

but it seems that his actions were no avail when he saw your lower stomach bleeding. feels like his own blood had disappeared, his pale face becomes more paler when your extreme sadness cry turns to extremely painful cry.

his body seemingly moves on its own and presses the button to call for help while still managing to calm you down.

“where's my baby? g-give me back my baby! satoru, do something!” it pains satoru to see you like this. a whole crying mess who cannot even digest the fact that her baby was in intensive care so they can become better.

suddenly, the door in your room opened, revealing the doctor and their nurse—shoko was there too. they immediately inject you with midazolam to calm you down and it works almost instantly. satoru watches your body go limp as your wound continues to bleed.

satoru and shoko were instructed to wait outside as they transfer you to another room to tend your wounds. after you were scouted to exit the scene, satoru fell on his knees and leaned his back on the wall.

god, what did you do to deserve this kind of thing?

letting out a soft sob, satoru prayed once again—something that he just learned yesterday. he prayed that all of your pain, burden, suffering, and all must disappear because satoru couldn't list any single reason why you must suffer like this.

“you should go back at least for now, gojo. i’ll handle things here while you freshen yourself up.” shoko suggested but satoru just shook his head, refusing to leave your side.

“don't be a fucking stubborn. you still have other things to do, don't forget that.” shoko hissed.

“but i need to be by her side. i need to be there to support her whatever i can.” satoru slowly let himself up and looked shoko straight in the eye.

“do you think she still needs you to be by her side? oh please, not after what you had done.” the doctor rolled her eyes as she toys with the unlit cigarette on her lips.

for some reason, satoru was having a deja vu, it was like they're in her clinic once again and they argue where you heard things that you shouldn't have. as much as satoru would like to shut her down, he's worried that you might hear him say nasty things that he didn't mean to say.

“shoko, please…i know you're mad at me and you wanted to be hostile towards me. i actually don't care if you hurt me or insult me, just not now. i need to stand by her side and i don't need you to tell me what to do.” satoru stood up and his gaze on shoko became hard.

the doctor just tsked and decided to drop the conversation for your sake. there's a whole silence in the atmosphere when satoru suddenly thinks about your little breakdown earlier. you're looking at your child and he is too. he really wants to go to the baby but he thinks it would be better if the two of you are together.

satoru was excited to see his baby, sure. but something inside stirs up something that he personally couldn't explain. was it because he remembers your conversation when he first knew of your pregnancy? that he found himself unable to answer your questions during that night?

but whatever the reasons are, satoru was ultimately willing to ignore it and just focus on becoming a better husband and now a new father towards his child with you.

the strongest sorcerer of his generation, the one and only satoru gojo, the pride of his clan, your husband on papers, your most hated person, your child's father—swore to himself that he will treat his son as his own flesh and blood, not as the heir that will dethrone him from being the pride.

and most of them all, he swore to himself that you will be treated way, way better than everyone, specifically and especially him. satoru will patch up the wounds that he had caused you.

but not all wounds can be treated by a mere bandaid.

an hour had passed and now you're once again in your room, but this time, you're more than calm as you finally understood the situation—thanks to shoko who patiently explains everything to you.

like right now, she's standing by the end of your bed while satoru was on his seat just like the first time you saw him in this hospital. shoko carefully and softly explained what was going on with you and gave you some sort of assurance.

“you suffered from placenta abruption which caused your placenta to detach from the inner walls of your uterus. it unables the baby to receive oxygen and nutrients with the placenta detached. that is why the doctors had no choice but to put you into a cesarean delivery so it can save both of your lives.”

“and about your baby, don't worry, they're in safe hands. currently in the neonatal intensive care unit where the baby is under process of developing it since it came out during your six months of pregnancy and is premature.” she continued.

then, shoko put a hand on your shoulder, slightly massaging it to give you some comfort. “worry not, y/n. we're not going to let anything hurt your baby. they're safe here and are guarded with blessings and restrictions so no other curses or unauthorized people could touch your child.”

all this time shoko speak, your head was hanging low and it seems like you're having a hard time digesting everything. but you still get what she meant by putting you under a cesarean because it's the only way to save you and your baby's life—which you're incredibly grateful for.

“c…can i see my baby?” your tone was quite hushed, probably because you hadn't really talked to anyone after what happened to you.

shoko gently shook her head and gave you an apologetic smile. “i am so sorry, y/n. but you need to rest first and we, the doctors, recommended you to not move too much since it can open up your cesarean stitches once again.”

to everyone’s relief, you nodded at her words, like you agreed to get better first before seeing your child.

“alright, i gotta excuse myself now. i have an appointment later this afternoon.” shoko gives you a smile before sending a knowing gaze at the man beside you, saying ‘you better not forget that you still have other things to do’ look.

“mhm. take care and thank you for helping me during all of this, shoko.” you replied tried to return the same smile but it only reached a have, you just wished she could feel your sincerity towards her.

“i don't accept thank you’s, yet. i can only accept it if i see you in a much better condition. so if you want me to say you're welcome, then get better.” her words make you giggle a little but you take that as a note.

giving you a one last smile and a secretive glare at your husband, she finally left the scene…and that leaves you two, you and your husband. silence engulfs the whole room, only the sound of your beeping monitor keeps on echoing and adds awkwardness to the atmosphere.

you take a small peak at satoru who's looking at an empty space somewhere, looking like he's in a deep thought. you're not sure if you want to talk to him or not, but taking the preceding events from earlier, you see no reason.

on the other hand, satoru was lost in his thoughts because he's trying to construct everything that he needed to say to you. he's kinda bad at impromptu when it comes to you and mostly forgot his points and other subtopics because he's being blinded by the emotions that keeps on distracting him.

satoru also noticed your small gazes towards him and it feels like you're not planning to talk to him first, so he finally initiated a conversation.

“do you feel any pain in your body?” he asked you.

however, it took you a while to answer because you're not sure if your following responses are gonna be normal, sarcastic, or not answering at all. but you choose the first one because the two other choices would most likely put you into stress and makes your healing process becomes slower.

“my tummy hurts but i'm fine…and i'm also hungry.” you replied, that's it.

satoru was glad that you're answering him…well. anyway, he smiled at you and carried on with the conversation. “if the pain gets worse or it causes you discomfort, you must tell me immediately. and about that hunger, we still need to wait at least eight hours for you to eat something heavy. but for now, you can only take liquids and…the doctor said you could eat oatmeal and eggs—maybe we should get that. the doctor also to avoid greasy food and it would take at least six weeks for you to recover, and then…what are the other things he said again?”

while satoru was busy yapping, you slowly think that he's speaking to himself more than he's speaking to you because of how concentrated he looked and it somehow brings some sort of warmth in your chest because he really tries himself to remember all of the things that the doctors had prescribed him for you.

“satoru…” you called out to him, but he's still busy talking about do’s and don'ts and keeps on going while you occasionally call his name.

“satoru.” he's still busy talking.

“...satoru?” yep, still talking.

his yappings are getting too long and you're running out of thin patience, so you hold into his arms and that makes him look at you and stop talking instantly. breathe in relief, you finally stopped him from his own shenanigans.

“i—i’m sorry, i talked too much.” satoru awkwardly chuckles to himself, but you just shrugged it off. “anyway, what is it?” he asked.

“satoru, i was wondering…how did i end up here? all i know is i was in my room, i feel my tummy hurts really bad and it got me so worried about my baby. then all of the sudden, there's blood seeping down on my legs then everything black out.” you said.

“well…” then satoru proceeds into another minutes of yapping about what happened based on what they had said to him back then. you'd understand that yuuji and megumi were planning to cheer you up by a surprise room visit when they smelled blood and that made them instantly realize that something was going on with you. so they called shoko and yaga to break into the room, and there they saw you lying in your own pool of blood.

nodding slowly, the question that was formed because of the preceding events were finally put into the end. “oh, so that's what happened. anyways, do you think yuuji and megumi could be here tomorrow? i wanted to thank them.”

“sure. i’ll come with them tomorrow. but now, let's get you some light foods so you can sleep tonight.” satoru stood up but he froze as his feet were not walking. you watch him turn back to you while you give him a confused look.

“will you be alright being alone for like…five minutes? i’m just gonna be quick and get you some food. i promise i’ll be back before you know it.” you just let him do what he wants and just continue watching him. satoru looked at you for a long seconds, rather seemingly so hesitant. but you told him you'll be fine and just do his thing, so satoru assured you once again that he'll be back then uses his teleportation.

now, you're alone (for a while) in this room. your thoughts wandered towards your baby who you knew is in the same building as yours. you really want to run towards that room where they are located but you forcefully shut yourself because it'll just make things worse. you're still in the process of healing and you want to be at your strongest when you're with your baby.

but something was still arguing inside your head. it's the desire to run towards your child and the desire to get better—

“y/n.”

“shit!”

something—no, someone was suddenly in the room. it was satoru who's pouting at you like a puppy who got lost. his sudden appearance makes the beeping machine beside you go wild as you curse out profanity because you're that shocked.

thankfully, your heart beat becomes normal again and nothing bad happens. but you'll be sure to send out a death glare to your husband who's still pouting.

“what the actual fuck, satoru?! do you want me to die of a heart attack?!” you glared at him, still your hand is at your chest.

“i'm sorry about that. but i cannot bring myself to leave you like that even for a minute.” he said.

“i told you i'll be fine. you don't need to guard me 24/7 anyway, so go and grab or do whatever you want.”

“no!” satoru whined…and that surprises you, because this might be the first time you saw him whine like a child, especially without any involvement of alcohol or sugar to activate this kind of his system. this was just a new sight to you.

“then how are you going to get some food?”

“i’ll just have them deliver it here.”

“seriously? you're going to order and deliver oatmeal and eggs?” your eyes were wide at his crazy idea. like yeah seriously, for an oatmeal and eggs? he could literally get it from a convenience store.

“what? i'm gonna order some food for myself too, you know.” he pouts, again.

“okay, you order your food online. and we'll get mine at a convenience store.”

“what? no! i told you i don't want to leave you alone.”

“then i’ll come with you. we'll go and buy my food together if you're really that worried about leaving me alone.” you said sarcastically.

“what the hell is that suggestion? absolutely not!” satoru gasps. he's so dramatic.

“well then, i’ll just starve!” you huff at him before turning your head away from him.

“i—wait, i'm sorry. i really can't force myself to be away from you. i'm just scared that when i'm gone even for just a minute, s-something might happen again and i’m not there to help you out instantly.” the sad look on his face is back, similar to what he looked like when he confronted you in the hallway.

after hearing his explanation, you turned back to him and said, “there are things that come unexpectedly. you cannot also force yourself to stick with just in case an emergency would occur, you'd be there. for all that i know, you still have other things to do, like you have your priorities.”

“but you're my priority,” he said seriously. well that caught you off guard.

“whatever, just go and get me some food.” you brush it off.

“...”

“...ok.”

the night ended with satoru eating his ordered food happily while you were still glaring at the man because he really stick to his words and ordered your food online instead of just running to a convenience store or buying the hospital once. although, it makes you wonder, how is there a plain, plain! oatmeal and a boiled egg that has been selling online?

well, whatever it is, at least your hunger has lessened and your relationship with satoru has gotten…at least a little better.

[part 4 is up tomorrow! and you know the drill, for those who would like to be added to the taglist , just comment — ©luvvixu2024]

taglists: @mistymuii @kalopsia-flaneur @sherryuki-callmeyuki @aish777 @tttttttf @username23345 @slyhersophia @netyxms @rirk-ke @lvstru @roscptalsaa @labelt-san @shinruo @yaninnaacu @testrella @sad-darksoul @kurookinnie @mountvesuvu @chwesuh-imnida @cole-silas @elernity @buttermilktea11 @berenevenstarzetaestelar @maddie-jayne @yozora7154 @kawaiivillainess98 @jiupark @forourpoets @aishies-stuff @numblytemporary @souyasplushie @hotsauce247 @catarinemirandax @aerithsthingss @h1gh4ru @ssetsuka @jskodn @khoiyyu @the2ndl @veryverysadauthor @vebbiewuzhere @kouyoumarryme @dreamyescapesfromreality @local-mr-frog @haesify @openthenyoor01 @blkmystery @slowlyshycomputer @babybarbs12 @thickemadame @bleppt @leavem3al0n3 @arminloverlol @roscpctals99 @megumisthirdog @shirabane @skepticalleo @sheismaryy @tragicgirl444

a/n: istg guys i'm trying my hardest to get y'all tagged but some really did not appear when i @ your blogs huhu. but don't worry, that won't stop me from tagging y'all, so i am just going to manually mentioned you on every chapter update ;)

[bella-goths-wife]

How alec, Johnny and Jane court Cullen reader

Warnings: obsessive behaviour, possessive behaviour, oblivious reader, inexperienced reader, mentions of abuse from Cullens

Alec:

Alec has to be subtle about his affections and intentions with you

Your ‘family’ already hate him, they have since the day Edward was introduced to the volturi and could report to the Cullens every thought alec has had of you

His courting had to remain subtle for his forbidden flower, for his sweet Juliet to his Romeo

He found that at first his best option for being close to you was ask for a dance at one of the balls that the volturi threw for the introductions of new members of big time clans

These balls were for the most part mandatory, meaning your family couldn’t just lock you away and you could spend time with other vampires with minimal fear

Alec would walk to to you with one of the volturi kings next to him so that If you accepted a dance with him, they could distract the Cullens long enough for Alec to slip the two of you onto the ballroom floor

He never was one for dancing before you, coming from a poor village in the medieval times he never really had to learn

Even after joining the volturi, he copied basic moves whenever he had to dance with someone for the sake of politeness

But after meeting you and realising that you came from a different time period to him, he begged some of the female volturi members to teach him some steps to dances from your time

He tried to master them but sometimes you still have to correct him, to which he’ll claim that you must be seeing things to save himself embarrassment

He also tried to learn courting culture from your time, but he never could do with all the politeness from it

He preferred being improper with you, it gave him the opportunity to see the real you

So he’d sneak up to your room after the Cullens locked you up for the night

He’d sneak through the window and the two of you would spend the night talking and laughing together, considering neither of you needed to sleep

It made him feel closer to you, made him feel special to have that time with you

He knew that no one else had that experience with you, and that made his worries of you being taken from him

He’s done everything in his power to make sure the vampire clans know that he has claim on you and is courting you, he’s seen the newer clans looking at you like a piece of meat and he thought it best to show who you belong to

If any others try and intrude on your time together, they’ll be hissed at viciously and the volturi kings will be told of the interference to their plan to match you with either Alec or Jane

His last act of devotion to you was to swear you that he will free you from the Cullens grasp, and you can only pray he’s truthful

Jane:

Jane isn’t the most loving person

She struggles to express most emotions, but showing her adoration and love is the hardest

So she tries to court you in more practical ways, such as acts of service

Anything that you need doing, she will have the task completed by sundown

Your struggling to find clothes because the Cullens only give you childish clothes? Jane had handmade clothes tailored to match and compliment your body type and skin colour and she leaves them in your room for you

You’re thirsty but you don’t have any blood to feed with? Jane killed a human for you two to share during your teatime

She even asks for it to be baked into pastry’s even though neither of you can digest food anymore so you both end up coughing it up

You need entertainment while you’re locked away in your room? Jane will sit outside your door and read your favourite books and poems to you and keep you entertained

She also tries to work on her physical affection for you

She offers you an arm when you walk together through the garden at night, she places her hand over yours when you need comforting, she will place small kisses on your hand when greeting you in private

These are all things she never thought she’d be comfortable with until she met you, so she’s slowly improving in private

When she’s feeling extra possessive, she will cover you head to toe in her signature scent either by spraying you with perfume or briefly holding you and rubbing her cheek against your neck

This means she can put a subtle claim on you to show that you are hers and that anyone who tries to touch you will feel the wrath of her painful stare

Her final act of devotion from when she saw you last was swearing to free you from the Cullens so the two of you could stay near each other forever

She does all of this and yet your still completely oblivious to the affections her and her twin hold for you

Johnny (post meeting you)

Johnnys methods of courting is mainly just trying to help you discover more of yourself and help you separate your identity from the one forced upon you by the Cullens

I suppose it would fall under the category of quality time as he will spend hours upon hours with you helping you learn a new skill or remember an old memory

He helps you acclimate to the more modern parts of society that the Cullens never taught you about, such as dating culture and party culture

He tries to find things for the two of you to do that he thinks you’ll enjoy the most

An example of this is him taking you to a petting zoo and letting you control all the cute animals because it made you feel better then hunting with the Cullens

He also used his power to his advantage and he will shape his shadows to make shadowy animal figures for you to admire

He will also get very secretly proud of himself every time he sees you’ve enjoyed yourself doing an activity he chose out

He’s also very big into PDA as he’s less afraid of what the Cullens will do to him

He’s always got an arm around your shoulders or waist when you walk or he’s holding your hand as you talk to each other

But always with permission, he understands that you can have a slight touch Phobia because of your time with the Cullens

He was also raised as a lord, so all of his courting will subconsciously be very gentlemanly despite his playful and rough persona

So that means the sidewalk rule is being obeyed, he’s always taking your arm when you walk together and he’s always generally acting with honour and decency

He’ll do all this and you’ll still swear that he hates you though

Thoughts guys? 😭

[prettycottonmouthlamia]

So I might as well write down my thoughts on Babel, now that I have had some time to more fully digest the story while not in the throws of deep emotional pain. Going to put my thoughts in the read more below

On a very overhead view of things, I think that I am a little frustrated with how long it has taken for this information to come out of the game. It's been the game's best kept secret for five entire years, and something that the game has clearly been hinting at for huge amounts of time, but it does sting a little bit that we had to wait so long for the truth to come out. Boy, does it come out in this event, but it's a been a long, hard, confusing wait.

It has, as well, resulted in what I believe to be one of the best written events in all of Arknights. Babel is, in itself, a tragedy that acts as the opening act to the tragedy that is the Twin Kings and their rule over Kazdel. It is a demarcation of their acknowledged struggles against the rest of the world, against the Sarkaz, and against themselves. It provides a really refreshing amount of depth and context to the Londinium crisis and why things have turned out this way.

The thread of fate is a constant refrain over Arknights. It touches Patriot's tale and Amiya's prophecy, it touches Theresis and the prophecy of his death in Londinium, it colors the viewpoint of the entire Cyclops tribe, and it affects the Twin Kings and Ascalon in turn. This event gives us an answer to the lingering question that has been in the backs of our minds for a while now: is prophecy certain, and is Fate guaranteed? The answer to this, is no. Prophecy must be inferred, and in that inference can we find the way to resist it, even if only for some time. I suspect that this is here because Amiya's prophecy, something that has only been brought up again in Chapter 12, will come back in intensity in whatever Part 3 there is, as Amiya gradually begins to unlock more and more functions of the Civilight Eterna. And in turn, will Theresis even die, or will he find a way to avoid his fate?

Babel is also a story about what it means to be a Sarkaz. The question is brought up about how the Sarkaz are not really the same race at their core. The Nachzerer and the Vampires are not kin in the same way Perros are to each other. How could the Twin Kings hope to unify them? Theresis and Theresa's answers are their responses about who the Sarkaz are. Theresis is pessimistic, trapped in the past, a past that is unfortunately real and undeniable. He sees that war is the only solution, that inevitably, the Sarkaz can only come together when war either offers them an outlet for their revenge or threatens their home. It is in times of peace, Theresis would argue, that the Sarkaz are at their weakest and most disparate. For Theresa, the answer is that the Sarkaz are entirely capable of unifying with time and effort, and with further time and effort, are capable with unifying and coming to terms with their past too. She is the optimist answer, the idealist answer, she sees in the Sarkaz the strength to let go of the past and work towards a better future, a better future that the Sarkaz have long denied.

Theresis and Theresa did not want to drift apart, this much is certain, but it was completely unavoidable. The same Theresis who knew that his sister would make the better ruler, that his sister had the qualities needed to be a leader, was the same Theresis who saw those qualities push her down a path that he saw as too slow for the future of the Sarkaz. Theresa, who watched her brother struggle to become a warrior, saw his tenacity and perseverance pointed against her. Maybe, in a vanishingly small possibility, they could have compromised, and found a path forward. But that wasn't in the cards for them.

Theresis, Theresa, and ultimately, the Doctor all end up making heavy choices under their respective burdens. The Doctor's part of the story is fascinating and a fulfilling answer to the questions around the Doctor brought up in Vigilo. Who was the pre-amnesia Doctor? They were a single person, a lost remnant of their civilization, tasked with an impossible question of how to handle the future. Their identity burdens them with guilt, foreknowledge that they are the only remaining one of their kind, and the choice put in front of them is tragic.

A) Do you move forward with the last of your civilization's projects to its completion point? Do you allow all on Terra to be assimilated into Originium, to preserve it and protect it eternally as information stored in the amber mineral? Do you prolong the suffering of the people you've grown to care about? Do you make the one you care about most, Amiya, suffer more and ultimately die because of a grand ideal of what will happen to her?

or

B) Do you resist the last hope of your civilization? Do you fight back against Originium, do you work to reverse its assimilation process, do you along with Theresa work to unassimilate everything out of the Assimilated Universe, in the hopes that maybe their lives will mean something? Even though you know that the force that destroyed your much more advanced and powerful civilization could just as easily destroy theirs? That their lives will be fleeting?

The Doctor ultimately makes a choice. The Doctor does not merely betray Theresa by aiding in her assassination. They do not merely betray Kal'tsit by failing to trust her. The Doctor does not merely betray Babel by having it destroyed. They betray everyone. They turn their back on the identities that they have built, the relationships they formed with everyone, in order to say to themself quite clearly:

"I am Oracle, and I am the last of my kind"

It's why their demeanor changes. It's why their curiosity towards Terra dies out. It's why their mind, in clear understanding of what their goal was, is now suddenly able to direct the lives of the people under them with perfect precision. They become the perfect, calculating commander that Ace and Scout remembered them as, because now, in the face of everyone's inevitable end, in the face of the assimilation of Terra in the given century;

Does any of their lives truly matter?

The answer is no. On some level, I believe the Doctor still cares, but they no longer allow that sentimentality to fully interfere with what they have to do. Look no further than how they betray Amiya. They not only kill Amiya's maternal figure for the sake of the Originium Project, their first betrayal. They let their relationship deteriorate to the point where even Amiya is aware that the Doctor has become quite different. They no longer share the curiosity and joy in being with Amiya as they once did, their second betrayal. And once the Doctor makes up their mind about what they have to do, once they make their choice and meet with Theresis under the statue of the Twins, they never bring up curing Amiya's Oripathy ever again. Their third and final betrayal, the breaking of a promise.

They chose to let the person they care about most in the world suffer, and die, from Oripathy, because being assimilated into the Originium Project is the correct path.

Babel is super narratively and thematically dense and honestly I am probably not the person you should expect to uncover it all, but I just have so many thoughts that it would probably bloat this post even more.

[i-am-baechu]

ᡣ𐭩 Title: Unread 

ᡣ𐭩 Paring: Class President! Kim Namjoon x Shy! Violinist! Reader 

ᡣ𐭩 Summary: Having a crush is hard, especially on someone like Kim Namjoon. At least her letters can tell him how she feels without facing the sad reality. 

ᡣ𐭩 Rating: Explicit (18+) 

ᡣ𐭩 Genre: Fluff, romance, angst, smut, extremely shy reader, heartfelt, Cinderella-ish, and crush situation 

ᡣ𐭩 Part of the The Legendary Seven

ᡣ𐭩 Playlist: Someday, Somewhere - Jolin Tsai and Understand - Keshi 

ᡣ𐭩 Warnings: Insecurities and bullying

ᡣ𐭩 Authors Note: I completely changed this story. I had it ready to post but I wasn’t happy with the story. So, I rewrote it. I love how this turned out and thank you for being patient! 

“Two of The legendary seven are taken. The world is ending soon. I just know it. That’s why they're moving as fast as they can to be with someone. It’s interesting to see that Kim Taehyung is taken by someone like a fortune teller's daughter. It makes it more interesting that before they became exclusive, Taehyung was actually seeing Jennie. The other heartthrob of our lovely school. I know people can change overnight but this is a scientist's worst nightmare. An unexplained outcome. The new couple has been seen countless times at Boo Seungkwan games and they got together because of his help. His aunt’s party was one of the stepping stones they needed. What really got them together was Taehyung’s grandmother's party. The lovebirds have been together since. I do wonder if she knows about the relationship that Taehyung had with Jennie. I wouldn’t want to be with someone that held secrets from me. Especially when these secrets are about past affections with someone. Until then, Pen.” 

Y/N just like everyone else read the post on the website but unlike everyone, she didn’t digest the gossip in excitement. Everyone always has something to say regardless of status. An opinion is always there. Sometimes it's needed but other times it's unnecessary and cruel. This blog did just that but she’s guilty because every Friday she comes back to read. It wasn’t a good feeling but one must know what's going on. Even if it’s bad.

Y/N glanced through the music window and her eyes landed on Kim Namjoon. The way the sunset highlighted his features could make a painting jealous and the way he smiled could bring in ships on a dark night. She looked away and glanced down at her shoes as she felt her face get warm. She hated to stare and she knew it wasn’t ladylike but even she broke the rules when it was necessary. 

Just then the door opened and she looked up to see who it was. Her face brightened when she saw who it was, “Soo-Young.” 

Park Soo-Young was her older cousin by two years and her only friend in this big school. All her other friends graduated. Soo-Young always took care of her because of her timid nature. Soo-Young was everything Y/N wasn’t. A person who stands up for what she believes in while Y/N stays quiet and takes the abuse from others. 

Soo-Young glanced at her violin and smiled, “Practicing for the competition?”

Y/N nodded her head and glanced outside. Her eyes landed on Namjoon who was talking to Seokjin, “I made the piece myself.”

“Oh? What’s it about?”

“Unrequited love.” 

L/N Y/N ranked number 10 in Seoul University and is known as the diamond of the L/N family. The timid swan that plays beautiful melodies that could make the flowers bloom in winter has a secret. She’s in love with Kim Namjoon and she has been since their first meeting. It happened four years ago…

Every year her father held a ball in celebration of his business. Everyone was dressed in the most beautiful dresses one can acquire with the most expensive jewels. Y/N hated these balls but she went to them because her parents wanted her to socialize. They knew their daughter was timid so they thought making this party would make it easier for her to interact. Y/N was dressed in a nude embroidered tulle gown with wing sleeves. It was rather simple compared to everyone else but she liked that. If she were in an art gallery, she would be the frame, not the painting. 

She pushed her hair behind her ear and moved towards the instruments. The players were taking a break and she couldn’t help but look at the violin. She gently picked it up and headed towards the garden. No one even noticed her leave. She sat on the bench and started to play a melody that came to her mind. As she played, she didn’t realize someone was watching her. 

When she finished, she smiled to herself but it quickly faded when she heard a clap. She quickly stood up and her eyes landed on a tall figure with a kind smile. She glanced away and bowed her head in an awkward manner. 

“You played beautifully.” 

She looked back at the mystery man and smiled, “Thank you...” It was so quiet that even the wind didn’t catch it but he did. 

“How long have you played?” 

Her lips formed a tight smile and she felt her face get hot, “I’ve been playing since I was six.”

“Oh, wow. Are you a professional?” 

“Oh, go-god no. I could never meet their levels.” 

“Well, I think you can.” 

Their eyes locked onto each other but she was the first to break the stare, “I-I have to go.”

“Can I get your name?” 

She glanced back at him and looked at the flowers below him, “Y/N...L/N Y/N.”

He smiled at this and it was a gentle smile that made her heart feel safe, “I’m Kim Namjoon.”

How could she not fall for him? He was the only one who noticed her leave the room. She wasn’t used to that attention. It wasn’t much but it was enough to make her heart flutter. She was so sure that he forgot about her. She never saw him at the parties again and she couldn’t talk to him at school. That would be a death wish. 

She turned towards Soo-Young and smiled, “Is Irene ready for us?”

Soo-Young smiled and nodded her head, “She’s waiting for us with Seulgi and Wendy.” 

Y/N nodded her head and stood up, “Let me put my violin away and I’ll meet you at your car. Is that okay with you?”

Soo-Young nodded her head, “I’ll turn the AC on for you.”

“Thank you...” 

When the door closed, Y/N opened her bag to pull out an envelope. She looked at the pink envelope and took a deep breath. Every Friday she did this and she wasn't going to change that. She put her violin away and walked into the empty hallway. She glanced around and went inside the student council room without making any sound. That’s the benefit of being so quiet. No one notices you. She glanced at Namjoon’s desk and opened her envelope to read her letter, 

Dear Namjoon, 

I have no idea if you read these but if you do then you know my affection towards you. I wish I could say it to your face but one doesn’t want to get humiliated. I saw your speech about the students the other day. I admire the way you can inspire others with your confidence and reliability. It’s amazing to see that especially someone your age. I wish I could be like you and maybe then I can say those unsaid confessions to your face. Someday I can...

Until then, 

Have a nice day. 

She folded the paper back into the envelope and placed the letter in the folder that he always reads. She took one final glance at the folder and walked out of the room. She quickly made her way to the parking lot avoiding everyone in the process. 

Namjoon was talking to Seokjin and frowned, “Is Taehyung okay?”

“They’re okay. It’s just Lin right now. She doesn’t like to be known as the fortune teller's daughter.” 

Namjoon sighed and nodded his head, “I know. I hope she’s doing okay.”

Jin smiled and nodded his head, “She has Taehyung. She’ll be fine.”

Namjoon glanced over Jin’s shoulder and saw Y/N running with her head down. He smiled to himself and looked back at Jin, “We should still check on them.” 

“Well, we're going to meet up with them at Hoseok’s dance competition tonight. Should we do it before or after?”

“Before. So then we can focus on Hoseok for the rest of the night.” Namjoon nodded his head and glanced over Jin’s shoulder but Y/N was gone. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, “We should get going then.” 

“Yes, class president.” 

“Don’t call me that.” 

Y/N came into the car and Soo-Young leaned forward pushing some hair away from her face, “You look flustered. Are you okay?” 

She swallowed some spit and nodded her head, “I-I’m okay. I had to tune my violin and I didn’t want to keep you waiting. I rushed out here as fast as I could. I’m sorry.”

Soo-Young shook her head at this, “Y/N I was only waiting for six minutes or something. It’s okay. You don’t need to say sorry.”

“Sorry.”

“Y/N.”

“Sorry..oh, god.”

Soo-Young let out a laugh and turned up the radio, “Let’s go before Irene yells at us for being late.”

“Okay.” 

The car drove away and Y/N glanced outside. Her eyes landed on Namjoon who was standing outside Seokjin's Porsche. She smiled to herself when she saw his smile and she turned away with the smile plastered on her face. Namjoon glanced at the car that was leaving the parking lot and he continued to watch the car until it was out of his sight. 

“You're coming in?”

Namjoon let out a small laugh and nodded his head, “Yeah.”

.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡

Y/N Walked down the hallway with her head down. She glanced at the popular girls (it was hard not to when they were so loud) but she quickly looked away when one of them returned the stare. She turned around and started to walk away but was stopped when she heard her name. 

She slowly turned around and was met with Jessica who was giving her that look that made her feel so small, “When is the ball?”

“It’s next month...”

“What? I can’t hear you, be louder, mouse.” 

“Jessica, leave her alone.” 

She turned around and saw Bora with a stern look. Bora was Jungkook’s new girlfriend and the talk of the school a couple of months ago. Y/N has never talked to her and the closest she has ever got to a conversation was when Bora asked for paper. Y/N blinked her eyes in shock and continued to stare at Bora who was now in front of her. 

Jessica glared at Bora and crossed her arms, “What are you going to do about it?”

“Didn’t Jungkook tell you what he would do if you messed with me?” 

Jessica clicked her tongue and she turned around to walk away. Before she could, she glanced at Y/N over her shoulder with an annoyed look, “I’ll see you at the party.” 

Y/N watched her leave with a confused look. She turned towards Bora and bowed at her, “Th-Thank you.” 

Bora turned towards her and smiled, “Jessica is unbearable and no one should deal with her high-pitched noise that she calls a voice.”

Y/N frowned and shook her head, “I’m sure her parents like to hear her voice.” 

Bora let out a small laugh, “They don’t have a choice but we do. Where were you heading to?” 

“I was going to the music room.” 

Bora nodded her head and glanced at Y/N’s violin case, “I heard you place at the Cosmic Hall last year. It was beautiful.” 

Y/N felt her face get warm and bowed to her, “Thank you, I appreciate the listen.”

“Are you performing at this year's competition?” 

Y/N looked away from the curious eyes and nodded her head, “I-I will be...”

“I will tell Jungkook to come and listen to your music.”

“Yo-You don’t have to do that. I’m sure he has better things.” 

Bora shook her head and let out a small laugh, “He doesn’t. Everyone should listen to you play. The peace it can bring into someone’s life is remarkable. I’ll see you Friday night.”

Y/N bowed at her and watched her leave with curious eyes. Bora was nice and the more Y/N thought about it the more it made sense for Jungkook to be with her. Opposites attract. Y/N turned around and continued to make her way to her second home. She opened the door and was met with Soo-Young’s bright smile as she played the piano, “Y/N, I’m excited to hear your piece.” 

Y/N closed the door and nodded her head, “I don’t know if it's good.”

Soo-Young frowned at this and walked away from the ivory keys. Y/N stared at the white tiles as she listened to Soo-Young’s heels clicking, “Y/N, have some confidence. I think you're amazing. Everyone thinks you're amazing, please think the same.” 

Y/N slowly looked up to see Soo-Young’s pleading face. Y/N looked away and nodded her head, “I’ll try.” 

Namjoon was at the picnic table in the sitting area with his friends outside. It was one of those rare days where everyone had their classes canceled. It felt like high school all over again for Namjoon. He was listening to Lin talking about what her mother said about Taehyung’s future when Bora came rushing in with an excited grin, “I have news.” Jungkook moved and Bora sat next to him. His arm naturally wrapped around her shoulders as she looked at her friends with excitement, “We’re going to the Cosmic Hall this Friday!”

Lin raised her eyebrow and tilted her head, “Cosmic Hall?”

Bora nodded her head and turned towards Lin, “Every year they have a competition for violinists. Last year, my dad won tickets and I heard the most beautiful song. She of course won the whole thing but I wasn’t shocked, she was.”

Jimin raised his eyebrow at this, “Who was?”

“L/N Y/N.” 

Namjoon almost dropped his water bottle at this. He turned towards Bora with wide eyes, “Y/N still plays the violin?” 

“Yeah...well I assume so. She’s playing this Friday, do you know her?” 

“O-Oh, I’ve heard of her.” Of course, I know who she is. 

Jungkook looked at Bora and pushed some hair away from her forehead, “Of course we’ll go. It’s peaceful.”

Taehyung scoffed at this and rolled his eyes, “Like you would know what peace is.”

“For your information I do.” 

Namjoon zoned out and remembered what his sister told him, “Y/N stopped playing out of nowhere. Everyone was shocked. I don’t know why though. I hope everything is okay with her.” This happened three years ago and he wondered why she stopped playing in competitions. He could only hear her play when he was walking past the music room after school. It was his favorite routine to do. Hearing her play was like a painting coming to life. It was magical. 

“Namjoon, did you hear me?”

He quickly shook his head and looked at Bora with a sheepish smile, “I’m sorry, what did you say?” 

“I asked if you were coming with us? I know you have that meeting-”

“I’m going.” 

Y/N continued to write on her music sheet as Soo-Young laid down on the piano and played on her phone, “Irene, is picking us up today.”

Y/N set her pen down and she smiled at this, “Oh? That’s exciting.”

Soo-Young sat up and gave Y/N that look that made her nervous, “She’s taking us to eat at this restaurant. It’s owned by Seokjin’s family.” 

Y/N’s eyes widened at this and turned her body towards Soo-Young, “That place is so expensive. Shouldn’t we go-”

“Y/N, don’t you remember we’re rich? It’s fine.” 

Y/N shook her head at this, “It doesn’t matter. Money is money. Being responsible is good regardless of status.” 

“Y/N, let’s go have fun. It will be good for you.” 

She glanced down at her notebook and then back at Soo-Young, “Okay...I’ll tell-”

“I already told your parents. They said it will be good for you.” 

Y/N shook her head with a small laugh escaping her lips and glanced at the window, “I suppose. I have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be back.”

“Okay, be safe.” 

The scene was déjà vu for her. Her shoes barely make a sound, it would make a mouse confused. She glanced down at her envelope and smiled to herself when she remembered her words, I saw the way you smile and it would make the sun jealous. The way your eyes sparkle are like the stars dancing around the moon. Your whole being is my universe. Even though I will never be able to say it to your face. Please forgive me but I do mean it. Your whole being is my universe. 

She went to open the door but stopped when she heard footsteps. She quickly hid behind the lockers and watched Namjoon listening to his music. Her eyes widened but she didn’t make a sound, this was going to make her sick with anxiety. He opened the door and closed it behind him. She let out a breath that she was holding in and glanced down at her envelope. 

She bit her lip and she was debating on what to do. She could run away with the letter and just give it to him next week or she could slip it under the door. If she slipped it under the door, she would have to be quick. She wants to give him this letter but is it worth getting caught? Perhaps. She took a deep breath and in a flash she slid the pink envelope under the door. She did it so fast that she didn’t process that she was running away. She continued to run until the music door was in front of her. She regained her composure and wiped her sweaty hands against her jeans. She opened the door and her anxiousness was dissolved when she saw Irene talking to Soo-Young, “Irene.” 

Irene turned towards the door and smiled, “Y/N-inee” 

Y/N made her way and hugged Irene who happily returned the hug. Irene was like the sister that Y/N never had. Being the only child, she never had the chance to have an older sibling. Soo-Young was her cousin but she saw her as her best friend/partner for life. 

Soo-Young scoffed at this and crossed her arms over her chest, “Why don’t you act like that with me, unnie?” 

“Y/N is my daughter, you are not.” 

The restaurant was something out of the movies. It was so spacious and beautiful. There were people playing the harp with the many paintings dancing to the soft melody. It was beautiful. She now understood why this place had a five-star review online. They sat down at a table and she listened to the harp and she couldn’t help but think of Namjoon. 

The day was normal, Y/N was going to go to the library and study for her Biology test. Nothing more. Nothing less. She turned the corner and her eyes widened when saw Namjoon leaning against a bookshelf reading a book. She quickly hid behind the tall shelf and peeked around the corner to see his tan skin getting highlighted by the terrible library light. Somehow, he even looked good under them. His black hair gently touching his forehead and his earrings that made him even more attractive to her. 

If she had Soo-Young’s personality, she could talk to him. But she isn’t her cousin. She looked away and leaned against the shelf with a frown. Namjoon would never like a girl like her. He needed someone who was sexy and confident. Everything she was not. She walked away and stared down at her shoes, she would never be with Namjoon. 

“Y/N, are you okay”

She shook her head and gave Irene a fake smile, “I am.” I’m not but...what choice do I have? 

The night went normally, Soo-Young and Irene argued about random things as Y/N laughed. She took a sip of her water and she looked around the room to see Namjoon having dinner with what looked like a girl. Her eyes widened and she saw how his eyes softened when the girl was talking. She swallowed her spit and glanced down at her plate with a frown. She knew this would happen but why did it have to happen in front of her? 

Y/N glanced at herself in the mirror of the dressing room. Today was the day of the competition. She was so nervous to the point that her stomach was attacking itself. She clenched the vanity under her as she tried to regain her breathing. She closed her eyes and tried to picture something happy but all she could see was Namjoon with the girl from a couple of nights ago. She shook her head and glanced down to look at the black fabric. She was dressed in a lace tea-length dress. Her mother was so excited about her competition that she had the dress custom-made for her. 

The door opened and she turned her head to see her mother who had a soft smile. Y/N returned it and her mother placed the bouquet of flowers on the coffee table, “I know that look, flower.” 

Y/N sighed and turned towards her, “What happens if I mess up?” 

“Then you mess up. As long as you get your piece played that's all I care about. Mistakes and all.” 

Y/N glanced down at the flowers and smiled, “Thank you.”

Her mother smiled and walked towards her. She placed a kiss on the top of her head and pushed some hair back, “Amaryllis, your favorite.” 

“I just want to do good...I want to prove...”

Y/N’s mother brought her into a tight hug as she rubbed her back gently, “I will always be here for you. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone, only to yourself. I love you, good luck.” 

Namjoon sat next to Jin as he listened to the violinist. It was nothing to compare to Y/N. Y/N playing brought color to black and white while this person was simply following notes on the page. Like a robot. Namjoon looked down at his pamphlet and smiled when he saw Y/N’s name. 

When he saw her at her father’s party he was so happy to finally meet her. It wasn’t the first time they met.

Cosmic Hall was silent and Namjoon sat next to his sister. Today, his little sister wanted to see the talented violinist. He heard she was a L/N. They were at the top of the technology business and they only had a daughter. There were rumors that they tried to have a son but it almost resulted in death. Resulting Y/N to be an only child. Y/N was the diamond of the family. Everyone looked at her as a picture-perfect heiress. She was ranked in the top ten and she was ranked number three in Korea for his violin skills. What more could you want from a daughter? 

Namjoon didn’t care about violinists. He was only here for his sister. Taehyung would’ve loved being here. He loved classical music and the fine arts in life. Although Namjoon liked classical music, violins never stood out to him. 

The music became dark and his focus was on the main stage. A girl appeared and his eyes widened, she was dressed in a lilac dress that showed off her shoulders perfectly. She had a diamond necklace that could bring light in the darkness. She looked like a painting came to life and Namjoon couldn’t look away from her. She was so elegant in the way she moved that it looked like she was floating. That didn’t go away when she started playing. It was as if he saw the notes coming towards him in pastel colors. Each note told him a story that only he knew. It brought peace. He felt stupid about how he never cared for violins. 

When he saw Y/N at the party, he acted like he didn’t know her. It was obvious that the girl was shy and he didn’t want to scare her away. Even in person, she brought a sense of peace. She was elegant but somehow clumsy. When she ran away from him, he couldn’t help but laugh at how she looked. Not in a mean way but in an enduring way. There were whispers around the campus about the heir to the L/N business. Some said she was cold and never made eye contact with anyone because of how egotistical she was. In reality, Namjoon knew the truth. She was a white daisy in a garden of thorns. 

The audience got quiet and Namjoon sat up straighter to see the stage better. She walked out and his eyes couldn’t leave her figure. She bowed at the audience but there was something different with her tonight. There was something sad about her expression. She sat down and the speaker read her description, “This song was made by Y/N herself. The song describes an unrequited love. The piece is melancholy but it has a small glimpse of hope. A very moving piece that describes her real life.” 

Namjoon raised his eyebrow at this and frowned, “Unrequited love...” 

Y/N took a deep breath and started playing. With each note she made, she saw Namjoon. The way he smiled at her that day and the way he noticed her when no one did. Then the sadness came through when she saw him with a girl at the restaurant. The piece describes perfectly how she felt. In love with someone who will never see her. 

“The winner of the Cosmic Hall Competition is...L/N Y/N!” 

Namjoon was the first person to stand up and he started clapping. Jin looked up at her with a confused look but stood up and started to clap as well. Y/N bowed to everyone and accepted the award. Y/N smiled at the audience but her eyes landed on her parents who looked at her with proud eyes. She felt happy to know she made them proud. It was a feeling she wasn’t used to. 

She walked backstage thinking she would meet with her parents but her eyes widened when she saw Bora. Bora walked up to her and handed her some roses, “You did an amazing job. I loved every minute of it.”

Her eyes glanced over Bora’s shoulder and saw Jungkook who was giving her a wide smile. She looked back at Bora and bowed, “Thank you. You didn’t have to give me any flowers.” 

“Nonsense, you deserve more flowers for your performance.” 

Y/N happily grabbed the roses and bowed at her again, “Thank you.”

“I thought you said you didn’t play at a professional level.” 

Y/N stood there for a moment before moving past Bora. Her eyes landed on Namjoon who had his glasses on and a dress shirt. He looked like he had a business meeting with how sharp he looked. Y/N stared into his eyes as he returned the stare. Normally she would look away from intense eyes but she didn’t want to at this moment, “You remember that?”

“Of course, I remember.” 

She looked down at her shoes and then back at him, “I-I wasn’t expecting you to be here.” 

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No-No, I...I was just shocked to see you.”

Just then a girl came and hugged his waist. Her eyes widened and glanced at her arm. Namjoon smiled and ruffled her hair, “My sister wanted to see you. She begged me to take you.” 

Y/N glanced at Namjoon and nodded her head. That's why he came...for his sister. “I’m glad you like it.”

Namjoon’s sister smiled and nodded her head, “I took him to Jin-oppa's restaurant to get him to say yes.” 

Namjoon rolled his eyes and wrapped his arm over her shoulder, “I could never say no to good food.”

“Oh, was that this week?” Please say yes...

“Yeah, it was on Tuesday. Why?”

Y/N shook her head and felt relieved at the answer, “Curious. I apologize, I have to go. My parents are waiting for me.”

Namjoon nodded his head and did something that shocked her. He leaned forward and pushed some hair off her forehead, “You played wonderful tonight. Thank you for playing.” 

“Th-Thank you...bye.”

She quickly left with a strong grip on the roses as her face was blazing. Why did he have to look at her like that? 

.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡

Namjoon, the class president, has been reviving love letters. I saw it right before my eyes. Though, I didn’t see who it was. I do know whoever it is, they can run fast. Who wouldn’t have a crush on Namjoon? He’s sensible and intelligent. Anyone would fall for him. I noticed she delivers her letters every Friday when classes are over. It's obvious she knows Namjoon’s schedule because she only does it when he’s gone. I am curious to see who it is. Until then, Pen. 

Y/N felt the world around was crashing. She knew she shouldn’t slide the letter under his door. Whoever this person is, they're writing about her now. It’s not a good feeling. She walked into the lunch room to see Jessica fighting a girl. 

“Are you the one giving Namjoon letters?” 

“I-I’m not! I swear!” 

Y/N eye’s widened and she quickly left. She clenched her shirt in panic and felt sick. She’s been giving him letters for years and never got caught. How could she get caught now? Now everyone is going to want to know who the mysterious person is. Especially Jessica. She started to run and she didn’t even know where she was running to but anywhere was better than here. She stopped and looked around her. She ran straight to the university park, a quiet place for her running thoughts. She sat on the bench and started crying. She didn’t want this to be known to the public or even Namjoon. Though he didn’t know it was her specifically it still made her want to die from embarrassment. 

“Y/N?”

She looked up to see Bora and Lin giving her a concerned look, “Are you alright?” 

She quickly wiped at her face and gave them a smile, “I’m not the best...I’m sorry. I’ll move,” 

She went to get up but was stopped by Lin, “Please stay. No one should cry alone.” 

Y/N listened and stared at the grass as a tear went down her face, “I feel embarrassed...”

Bora and Lin glanced at each other and nodded their heads. They sat on the sides of Y/N as Lin wrapped her arm around the girl, “Y/N, do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t...I-I should go.”

Bora rubbed her shoulders and gave her a gentle smile, “You can just cry with us. We won’t ask any questions. Just cry.” 

Cry is what she did. She never felt so embarrassed but she couldn’t tell the world why she was. They wouldn’t believe her in the first place and she would get pinned down by Jessica. It would be a waste to speak about it but she could express it. The only way she could do it was to cry. She cried on Lin’s shoulder as she stared at the grass that was waving back and forth. Her secret is out even though no one knows it is hers. 

Namjoon looked at the folder and sighed. He kept all the letters in binders by his desk. He tries his best to reread them when he has time. It brought joy to his heart. They weren’t like other confessions he had received. This was different. The letters had affection that he had never received from another person. Whoever was writing these letters knew how to write from their heart.  

“What are you going to do?”

Namjoon looked away from the pink envelopes and saw Yoongi’s concerned face, “What do you think I should do?”

“Catch the person.”

Namjoon let out a laugh and closed the binder. He got up from his chair and walked towards the window, “They are not a criminal.” 

“I know you're curious about who they are.” 

Namjoon sighed and nodded his head, “Who wouldn’t be curious? The letters are beautiful. I kept each letter because the wording was moving. I never had a reason to look for the person but now I want to look for them.” 

“Is it because you wish it was Y/N.”

Namjoon stiffened at this and turned towards Yoongi, “Why do you ask?” 

Yoongi smirked and shrugged his shoulders, “No reason.” 

Y/N finally calmed down and continued to stare at the grass, “I’m sorry...”

Bora shook her head and pushed some of her hair away from her face, “Don’t be sorry. We all need to cry.” 

Y/N nodded her head at this and looked down at her fingers, “I appreciate the comfort.” 

Lin smiled at this and nodded her head, “I’m glad we could comfort you.”

Bora nodded her head and looked at Lin, “I was actually going to ask...if we could be friends.” 

Y/N turned towards Bora with wide eyes and pointed to herself, “Me?”

Bora let out a small laugh and nodded her head, “If you let me.” 

Lin smiled and pointed to herself too, “I want to be friends with you too.” 

Y/N looked at Lin and frowned, “Why?” 

“Ever since I saw you play last year...I wanted to be your friend. I saw you around but every time I wanted to talk to you, you would walk away. Did you realize how fast you walk?” 

Y/N looked down at the grass and frowned, “I-I’m sorry.” 

“Stop saying sorry. The time wasn’t right then but now it is.” 

“I suppose we can be friends...I-I’ll think about it...I just don’t know how to interact with people.”

Bora nodded her head at this, “That’s alright. Take your time.”

Y/N stood up and bowed at them before leaving. Her heart was beating fast and she didn’t know what she did to make them see her. Why is it so hard to be hidden away? It makes life easier to be hidden away. She entered the music room and saw Soo-Young who was giving her a worried look, “I was looking for you, Y/N.”

“I-I’m sorry-”

Soo-Young brought her into a hug and Y/N nuzzled her head into her chest. Soo-Young rubbed the back of her head as Y/N cried. Soo-Young kissed the top of her head and frowned, “I know about the letters.” 

Y/N pushed Soo-Young and gave her a shocked face, “H-How did you know?” 

“I was worried about you. You were taking longer than usual so, I walked down the halls to see you with the pink envelope. I wasn’t sure what you were doing but you looked flustered. One can put it together.” 

Y/N frowned and looked down at her shoes, “Now, he knows...”

“He doesn’t know it's you.” 

Y/N shook her head, “It doesn’t matter he still knows someone has been giving him letters...like a stalker.” 

“You're not a stalker. Just a person with a crush.”

“Some would say they're the same.” 

Soo-Young shook her head and rubbed her shoulder gently, “Do you love him?”

“I-I-”

“Do you?”

Y/N looked outside the window and then back at Soo-Young, “I do...” 

“Let’s make it known that it's you.”

Y/N sat in the library as the day got darker. She told her parents she would be late and wanted time to herself. They understood but that didn’t mean they weren’t worried. She looked down at the empty page and let out a loud sigh. She couldn’t focus on anything and it just made life harder. Why does the mind like to play these games? It’s frustrating. 

She closed her notebook and stared down at the desk with empty eyes. She wondered how Namjoon reacted to the news. He’s probably sick of getting confessions. She heard the chair in front of her move and she looked up. There staring back at her was Jessica with a smirk, “I need you to do something for me, mouse.” 

“I-I-”

“I know you won the poetry competition last year. I need you to write a letter for me so I can give it to Namjoon.” 

“What?”

Jessica rolled her eyes and tapped her nail against the dark wood, “If you write this letter for me, I’ll stop messing with you.” Y/N shook her head and tried to gather her things but Jessica grabbed her wrist, “I wouldn’t do that.” 

“I-I can’t do it.” 

Jessica brought her nails into her wrist and Y/N bit her lip to keep her quiet, “You’ll do it, mouse.” 

Y/N glanced down at her wrist to see blood trickling down and nodded her head, “I-I’ll do it.” 

Jessica smirked at this and let go of her wrist. She looked at her nails and then back at Y/N, “I want a letter by tomorrow morning.” 

Y/N didn’t say anything but she watched Jessica leave the library with a hop in her step. Y/N glanced at her wrist and saw the blood coming down. She looked up at the ceiling and frowned, Why couldn’t she be the frame? She gathered her things and made her way out of the campus. Everything felt like a blur until she got to her car. She pushed her hair and opened the door but closed it when she heard her name. She turned around and saw the familiar brown eyes. 

Namjoon smiled at her as he set his things on his bike, “Fancy meeting you here.” 

Y/N nodded her head, “It is.” 

Namjoon glanced at her wrist and saw that she was rubbing it. He walked away from his bike and towards her, “Is everything okay?”

“It-It’s fine.” 

Namjoon gently took her hand and turned it to see the cuts. He glanced up at her with worry and anger in his eyes, “What happened?” 

“I hurt myself.”

“Y/N, I am not stupid. Don’t treat me like I am. Someone did this to you.”

Y/N looked away and shook her head, “I can’t tell you.” Namjoon sighed and intertwined their fingers together. She glanced at their hands and then at him, “What are you doing?”

“Taking you to the nurse. I can’t let you walk around with an injury. It would hurt me to know that you were hurt and I did nothing for you.” 

Y/N nodded her head and they walked towards the medical building. Y/N glanced at their hands and she watched his thumb gently rubbing her knuckles. She felt her heart speed up at the feeling but she tried to ignore it. He opened the door and everything went a blur. She sat on the bed and waited for him. He came back with a bandage and smiled, “Let me patch that up for you.” 

Y/N nodded her head and brought her hand up towards him. He took the bandage out of the package and placed it on her wrist. She watched him and then she looked away when he smiled at her, “Thank you.” 

“You don’t have to tell me anything but Y/N just know...I’ll protect you.” 

Her eyes widened at this and turned her head to look at him, “Pr-Protect?” 

He nodded his head, “I care for you. Let me walk you back to your car.” 

Y/N nodded her head and Namjoon put his hand out for her. She glanced down at his hand and then back at him with a confused look, “What?”

“I want to hold your hand. Is that okay?”

“Is that okay for you? Do you want to hold my hand? I don’t want you to feel-”

Namjoon intertwined their fingers together and walked out of the nurse's office. The halls were empty and she was glad that no one would see her. It would make her feel embarrassed. Today was a wild day for her and she didn’t need anything more to make it crazier but here she is. Holding hands with Namjoon. The person who she’s been in love with. 

Namjoon smiled at her and glanced at his bike and then at her, “Do you want to go somewhere with me?” 

Y/N pointed to herself and gave him a shocked face, “Me?”

“Yeah, I never have the chance to talk to you. This is the perfect time.” 

Y/N glanced down at her wrist and then back at him, “O-Okay...” 

Namjoon sat on his bicycle and turned towards her, “Are you going to be okay? You have to hold on to me.”

Y/N slowly nodded her head and looked at her fingers, “Is it okay?”

“Yes, Y/N.” She sat on his bike and put on the extra helmet he had. She glanced at his back and took a deep breath. She wrapped his arms around his waist and hid her face in his back. Namjoon glanced at her and smiled, “Are you ready?”

“Yes...” 

The ride was peaceful and Y/N gripped his waist tighter when a turn would happen. Her heart was beating so fast but unknown to her, his heart was doing the same thing. He stopped the bike and she looked up to see a small cafe. She tilted her head at him, “Sunflower?” 

Namjoon smiled and nodded his head, “My mom recently bought it. I thought it would be the perfect place to take you.”

They walked in and she looked around with a curious look. The cafe was nice and small. It was clear it was new. Namjoon took her in the back and they sat in the hidden space. She was surrounded by flowers and she looked at Namjoon, “What is this?”

“It's a hidden place. I asked my mom to create me one so I can hide from the customers.”

Y/N nodded her head and touched the white daisy with her fingertips, “It’s pretty.”

Namjoon smiled at this and pulled out a chair for her, “Please sit. I’ll get us some croissants.”

Y/N nodded her head and sat in the chair as she watched him leave. She looked around the place with a warm face. How did she get here? She was sitting with her crush in a beautiful garden. This couldn’t be real. She glanced down at her wrist and then back at the daisies. It didn’t feel real.

“I got you a bottle of water too.”

She looked over her shoulder and saw Namjoon wearing that smile she came to love. She nodded her head at this, “Thank you.” 

He sat down and took a bite of his croissant, “I was so happy to hear you play at Cosmic Hall.”

She nibbled at the croissant and her eyes became wide, “Really?”

“I was. I enjoy you playing. My sister told me that you stopped playing for a while...may I ask why?” 

Y/N glanced down at her croissant and then back at him, “I...I just wanted a break.”

Namjoon nodded his head and took a sip of his water, “Everyone deserves a break. You did tell me you have been playing since you were six years old.”

She felt shocked that he remembered that and he laughed at her expression, “You remember that?”

“I told you that I remember what you said to me.” 

She felt her heart flutter at this and took a bite of her pastry, “Thank you...I took a break because I mentally needed it. I went to Japan...it was nice” 

“Everyone deserves a break. I’m sorry you felt like that.” 

Y/N shrugged her shoulders and looked at the daisies, “I’m sorry...I’m not the best at conversations.” 

“That’s okay. I like to talk so we make a good pair.”

Y/N eyes widened at this and turned towards him, “A good pair?” 

“Yeah.” 

The rest of the night was them talking to each other and she realized how easy it was to talk to him. He truly was a sun that brought warmth and comfort. As they talked, she knew what she had to do with Jessica. She was going to listen to Soo-Young and go against Jessica. She’ll take the abuse from her as long as she does what her heart wants her to do.  

Namjoon rode his bike back to her car on the school campus and smiled at her, “I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

She nodded her head at this and waved goodbye. She got into her car and was confused when she saw him waiting by her car. She rolled down her window and looked at Namjoon, “Aren’t you going?” 

“I wanted to wait for you to get in the car.” 

Y/N smiled to herself and nodded her head, “Thank you for tonight. I had fun.”

“Let’s do it again.” 

Y/N rapidly nodded her head and gave him a wide smile, “Yes, let’s do it again.” 

That night's drive was peaceful. She knew what she needed to do and she was going to do it. No matter what happens. Even if her mind tells her no, she’s going to do it. Everyone deserves to be spontaneous once in their lives. 

Y/N didn’t know how she did it but she did it. She avoided Jessica all morning and went straight to the music room. She began to practice her piece and she watched Soo-Young smile at the melody, “It’s beautiful. You can feel the love.”

Y/N smiled at this and nodded her head, “Do you think he will like it?”

“He would be an idiot if he didn’t.” 

Y/N smiled and gathered her things, “I guess it's time. Wish me luck.”

“Good luck Y/N. No matter what happens I’ll be here for you.” 

Y/N nodded her head and for once she felt the confidence going through her bloodstream, “Okay.” 

Y/N walked towards the student council and right before she opened the door, she felt her hair get pulled back. She let out a loud yelp and she fell to the ground. She looked up to see Jessica glaring at her. Jessica leaned down with a glare that could set fires in the forest, “Mouse, remember what I said. Girls get it.” 

Just then two girls came out of nowhere and grabbed her violin case. Y/N looked at her violin and then back at Jessica, “I-I’m sorry.”

“It’s too late to say sorry, mouse. I bet you were going to confess. Newsflash, Namjoon will never be an idiot like you. A mouse with no squeak.” 

Y/N glanced down at the ground and shook her head, “Yo-Your wrong.” 

Jessica pulled her hair harder and Y/N felt tears forming, “Don’t talk back Mouse. Nina, you know what to do.” 

Y/N turned towards Nina and watched her take out her violin, “Please don’t. I’ll write your letter.”

“Nope, you had your chance.” 

Just then Nina smashed Y/N’s violin and she sat there with a shocked expression. The violin that she came to love was now in pieces. Y/N was so shocked that everything around her became silent. She didn’t even realize Soo-Young came and pushed Jessica away. Nor did she realize that Bora and Lin pushed her goons away.

Her world felt like it was crushing down. The one thing she loved most in this world was destroyed. All this to show that she loved someone. Maybe Jessica was right. Namjoon wouldn’t love her. This felt like the universe was telling her to walk away before more bad things happened. 

Y/N slowly stood up and walked towards her broken violin. The broken instrument gave her confidence and now she has nothing. She let out a tear and shook her head. She ran away, “Y/N WAIT!” 

Y/N ignored the voices and ran. She ran towards the girl's bathroom and locked the door behind her. Maybe she was meant to be alone, all she does is make things more complicated. Life is already complicated, why would she make it more complicated? Love isn’t made for her. The universe made that very clear today. There was a soft knock at the door but she didn’t budge from her position on the floor. 

“Y/N...please.” 

She ignored the pleas and after a while it became quiet. She sat on the tile floor as the coldness of the bathroom comforted her. She deserves this treatment. She tried changing and the universe didn’t like that. Obviously, she deserved the punishment. 

“As student body president and Chairman, Jessica deserves to be expelled.” 

The chairmen glanced at Jessica and then at Namjoon, “Go on.”

Namjoon glared at Jessica and looked back, “Without the help of my friends, Jessica would’ve continued to bully L/N Y/N.”

The chairman's eyes widened at this and stood up. He slammed his fist on the table and pointed at Jessica, “You dare to mess with the L/N family?” 

“I-I”

“NO EXCUSES! JESSICA LEE, YOU ARE EXPELLED!” 

Namjoon smirked at this and bowed to the chairman, “I would love to stay but I have important business to attend to.” 

Namjoon didn’t wait for an answer, he ran out of the room with Bora smiling at him. Namjoon ran like his life depended on it. He hoped that Y/N was still in the bathroom. He couldn’t miss his chance. He stopped at the bathroom and was breathing heavily. He knocked on the door with fear, “Y/N, it’s me. Please open the door.” 

He looked at the ceiling and prayed that she was still there. If she wasn’t there then he wasn’t sure what he was going to do. The door opened and he turned towards the door but his expression dropped. 

“President?”

Namjoon bowed to her and apologized. He quickly left and went towards the second place he knew she would be. He opened the music room and he saw Y/N crying. He quickly closed the door and made his way towards her, “Y/N…”

Y/N looked up and she saw Namjoon's concerned eyes. Y/N tried to look away but Namjoon wouldn’t allow her. He gently put his fingers under her chin and turned her head, “Please don’t look away from me.”

“Namjoon…”

“Please don’t push me away. I just got you, I can’t lose you.” 

Y/N frowned at this, “Wh-What do you mean?”

“Y/N, can’t you see it? I love you. I love how you show your feelings through music and writing. You bring peace to my world, especially on days that feel like it’s erupting from chaos. I liked you the moment I heard you play. You are my sweet melody that brings paintings alive, my favorite melody. Please, please don’t push me away. I can’t bear this distance anymore.” 

Y/N stared at him and saw the truth in his eyes, “Writing?”

“Yes, I know about the letters. I knew it was you.”

“How?”

Namjoon let out a small laugh, “I had a class with you. I saw the way you wrote and well…”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Namjoon frowned, “I’m an insecure man. How could you love me? A man who couldn’t even comprehend a simple melody before I met you. I’m the heir to my fathers business but other than that, I have nothing more.”

Y/N shook her head and placed her hand against his cheek, “You are much more than that.”

“I want to hear you say it. I’ve read the letters but I want to hear your voice.”

Y/N took a deep breath and closed her eyes, “I don’t deserve a well composed man to love me. I can’t help feeling affection towards you especially when you're the only person to notice me. I…I love you. Whenever you talk about your speeches, I’m always listening. Your words move me like no other… I don’t know how to love nor am I good with my words…please be patient with me..give me a chance. I thought it was a mistake to fall for you. I felt like the universe was telling me I wasn’t worth loving someone. It felt like everyone was against me because I wanted change. I’m still so scared..what if the universe doesn’t want this for me?”

“Fuck the universe. Y/N just listen to your heart. I’ll help you with your anxiety and insecurities. Take a chance on me, take a chance on us.”

Y/N opened her eyes and saw how close he was and nodded her head, “I’ll take the chance.”

She didn’t realize how close he was to her. The air was thick and the desperation she saw in his eyes was a mirror of her own. She could feel the heat radiating from his body and it made her want more, “Y/N...do you have a boyfriend?”

Y/N shook her head and glanced at his lips, “I don’t.”

“Do I have permission to kiss you?”

Y/N smiled at this and put her forehead against his, “You do.” 

He leaned in closer and looked her into the eye once more before pressing his lips against his. She grabbed the front of his shirt and her fingertips became one with the soft fabric. One of his hands found its way behind her neck and brought her closer. The sound of kisses filled the room and she pushed away to gain her breath, “Joon...”  

He hums and his dark brown eyes told her everything she needed. He picked her up and sat her on the piano. She gently touched his face and gave him a gentle smile, “Serenity...” 

“I’ll give you that as long as you allow me. I am yours.” 

“I-I am yours as well.” 

He started to unbutton his shirt and she watched with nervous eyes. The more skin that started to show, the more real this became. She pushed his shirt off of his shoulder and her hands brushed against his bare chest. She leaned forward and placed a kiss on the center of his chest. His hands reached out to cup her cheeks and pulled her face towards his, kissing her deeply. 

After a moment he pulled back and slowly pushed her down on the piano. She gave him a small smile and a node. He pulled her shirt and leaned down to kiss her bare stomach as her fingers brushed through his hair. He moved back up and pulled her into a deep kiss. She slid her hands from his neck to his biceps. His hands tickled her bare skin. He cupped her face, running his thumb slowly over her cheek. They pulled away and she intertwined their fingers and she placed a kiss on his knuckles. 

He smiled at her and moved his lips back to hers as their tongues twirled around each other. After a moment of kissing, his fingers went behind her back and unclasped the material. He trailed his fingers down her arms as he pulled down the straps. He watched the goosebumps appear and he couldn’t help but feel proud. He gently dropped the fabric and took in what he was saying. He smiled and looked up to her, “You're so beautiful.” 

“Joon...”

“Is this okay?”

“Anything with you is okay...I trust you.” 

He eagerly leaned down to take one of her nubs into his mouth. She covered her face and let out a small moan. He sucked on her nipple while gently rolling her other nub between his finger and thumb. He felt her hands brushing through his hair but that quickly turned into tugging it. He slowly let his tongue slide over her stomach again and reached her skirt. He pulled down the pink skirt with her underwear. He leaned up and there before him was the women of his dreams. He pulled down his jeans and leaned forward kissing her chest, “Are you ready?” 

“Always.” 

He scooted a bit closer to her and placed his hands on her waist. He let his nose rub over her bare shoulder and placed a quick kiss. He slowly sank himself into her wet entrance and the both moaned, “Okay?”

“I’m okay.” She breathed as she closed her eyes at the feel of him. He started to move and Y/N couldn’t help but moan when she felt him slide in and out at a steady pace. She brought his face to hers and brought him into a passionate kiss. He placed two fingers over her clit and started to rub making her push back against him in pleasure. 

“Fuck, Y/N.”

He started to quicken his pace and she closed her eyes at the pleasure she was feeling, “Don’t stop...” She moaned as his fingers dug a little deeper in her skin as he pushed himself into her, over and over again. 

“You’re mine.”

She leaned up with her elbows and kissed his neck, “Yours. I’m going to-”

She felt her orgasm hitting her and Namjoon felt her walls clenched. The feeling was too much and he couldn't help himself. They both let out a loud moan and he fell forward with his head near her breast. She ran her fingers through his hair and kissed the top of his head. He looked at her and smiled, “Don’t push me away.”

“I won’t...” 

He pushed some hair away from her sweaty forehead and frowned, “I’m sorry about your violin.” 

She let out a sad sigh, “I’m sure I can find another.”

“I hope so...I would love to hear you play.”

“You already heard me play...”

He kissed her collarbone and then her neck, “A private concert.” 

“I would love to do that...we should get dressed.”

Namjoon nodded his head and helped her get dressed. When they were fully dressed, he brought her into a passionate kiss, “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you, Namjoon.”

.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･

“Did you hear about Y/N?”

“I did...she’s with the Kim's son.”

“Interesting matchup.” 

Today was Y/N’s father's ball for his business and she was dressed in something that was different for her. She was in a strapless tulle ballerina dress with a diamond necklace that Namjoon gifted her. She walked into the room with her heels clicking away. Soo-Young made her way to her and smiled. She pushed some hair off of her shoulder and smiled, “You look beautiful, Y/N.”

“Thank you, Soo-Young. You look beautiful as well. Green has always been your color.”

Soo-Young smiled and looked away with a smile, “He’s looking for you.”

“I kind of figured. He sent me a text saying he was dying to see him. Men are always the dramatic ones.” 

“Tell me about it. He kept saying he couldn’t wait one more minute for you. At least you know he's completely devoted to you.” 

Y/N smiled at this and nodded her head, “I suppose...I’m going to find him.”

Y/N walked around the ball and bowed at random people. Her eyes landed on Bora and she smiled. She quickly made her way and bowed, “Hello.” 

Bora and Lin turned around to give her a smile, “We were just talking about you.”

“Oh?...”

Lin smiled and placed a hand on her shoulder, “Good things. I wanted to see your dress.”

Y/N glanced down and then back at Lin, “Is it too much? My mother got it made and she wanted it-”

“Y/N you look beautiful.”

She looked to see Taehyung giving her a gentle smile and she nodded her head, “Thank you Taehyung.” 

“I told you to call me Tae.”

Jungkook scoffed at this and rolled his eyes, “She doesn’t even call me Kook, what makes you think she’ll call you Tae?” 

“I’m better looking, that’s why.” 

Bora rolled her eyes and turned towards Y/N, “Namjoon is with your parents.” 

She nodded her head and bowed again, “I’ll see you guys later.” 

Y/N quickly made her way to her parents and there he was in his black suit. Namjoon was talking to her father about something and she couldn’t help but smile at the closeness they created in a short time. Y/N slowly made her way towards them and Namjoon glanced over her father’s shoulder and smiled. He quickly excused himself and went towards him.

He picked up her hand and his finger gently traced her jaw. His eyes had sparkles in them as he looked at her, “You look beautiful.”

“I like your suit...”

He leaned forward and placed a kiss on her forehead, “I’m grateful for your mother’s taste in fashion.” 

She let out a small laugh and gently hit his chest, “Sorry, I kept you waiting.”

“It’s alright. I was dying to meet you. Being away from you can make the strongest cry.”

She smiled and glanced at the dancefloor, “Would you like to dance?”

“It’s my job to ask that. Y/N will you like to dance with me?”

“I would love to.”

They moved through the people until they were in the center. She smiled at him and he returned it. He wrapped his arm around her waist and they started to sway with the music. Y/N’s parents watched with pure happiness. Her mother leaned towards her father to whisper in his ear, “She looks so happy.”

Her father nodded his head and looked at them dancing, “I knew this day would come.”

“What day?”

“That I would lose my baby girl.”

“Honey, she’s not getting married. Stop being ridiculous.” 

Y/N and Namjoon became a couple after their moment in the music room. He took her to Sunflower and had a proper date. The campus was shocked that Kim Namjoon was with L/N Y/N. The fact that the class president was with the famous timid violinist made its round around campus. At first this bothered Y/N and she felt like she was bringing his image down but Namjoon told her otherwise. 

Y/N also became friends with Bora and Lin. They shared so many similarities, something that shocked her. They were very different in personality but she blended in perfectly fine. Lin’s mother gave her a fortune and everything seems like it is only going to get better. She even met Seungkwan and they became somewhat close. It’s amazing what a short matter of time can change.

Jessica was expelled and no one was shocked. There was finally peace at school but Y/N still had a feeling that there were more bullies hidden away. Waiting to come forward. There was one hidden enemy that she wanted to know who it was, Pen. Whoever Pen was, she was always close and always watching. Especially towards the legendary seven. She told Namjoon that it had to be someone close to them but he couldn’t think of anyone. They dropped the subject but she couldn’t stop thinking about this mysterious person that knows everything. It wasn’t a good feeling to know. 

Namjoon twirled Y/N and they placed their foreheads together, “Come to the garden with me.” 

“Of course.”

They walked out and went towards the place where Y/N first met Namjoon. He led her towards the garden that had purple roses and she couldn’t help but laugh. He plucked one and handed it towards her, “I have a surprise.” 

“Is it the rose? I love it.”

Namjoon laughed and shook his head, “It’s not the rose but if you like it then it's part of the surprise. Close your eyes.”

Y/N nodded her head and closed her eyes. Namjoon smiled and went behind the bench to bring out his surprise. He made his way towards her and let out a small cough, “Open your eyes.”

She opened them and her eyes widened, “Namjoon...”

“Open it.”

She opened the black case and her mouth dropped. The violin before her was covered in a daisy design; it was a beautiful piece of art. She gently took the violin out of the case and she couldn’t help but a smile, “I-”

“I wanted to get you a new one. This one is special. Turn it.” 

She turned the violin and she wanted to cry. It had their initials carved into the wood and her fingers gently touched it. She let out a small laugh and looked at him with pure love, “I love it.”

“I’m glad you do. Can I get that private concert?” 

She let out a laugh and nodded her head. He sat on the bench and she gave him one final smile before she started playing. This song felt like it belonged to a Jane Austen novel. It made you feel like you were in a love story and you can picture everything. He closed his eyes and started swaying back and forth. The music notes were clearer now and bursts of pastel colors erupted with each note. When she finished, he opened his eyes and clapped his hands, “That was amazing.”

“Thank you.”

He stood up and kissed the top of her head, “That was a new piece. Does it have a name?”

“It does.” 

He pushed some hair behind her ear and smiled, “What’s it called?”

“I called it Unread.” 

Namjoon let out a laugh, “Is it based on true events?”

“Somewhat...we should go back before my parents start looking for us.” 

Namjoon nodded his head but he wrapped his arms around her waist, “Let’s stay like this for a few minutes. Just you and me.” 

She let out a small laugh, “Let me put my violin away and then we can dance in the flowers.” 

Behind the hedges and hidden figure watched and wrote something in her notebook. She quickly hid the notebook in her jacket. She started to walk away but stepped on a branch causing Namjoon to look up, “Who's there?” 

The girl cursed under her breath and ran as fast as she could before they could see her. Y/N and Namjoon made their way towards the hedges and looked at each other, “What was that?”

Namjoon glanced down at the grass and saw that the person dropped something. He picked up the pen and saw that a name was engraved on it, “It says Pen.” 

Y/N’s eyes widened and she looked at the pen, “Do you think it's her?” 

“Maybe...” He put the pen in his coat pocket and sighed, “Let’s forget about this for now and dance in the roses.”

She glanced at his hand and nodded her head, “I would love to dance with you.” 

“I will always dance with you, my violinist.”

────°˖✧ ✧˖°────────°˖✧ ✧˖°────

Tag List:

@sumzysworld @futuristicenemychaos @joonlover1207 @mimidonut

[felixcloud6288]

All descriptions taken from TvTropes.

Cantarella:

Cantarella is a fantasy manga about the youth of Cesare Borgia, warrior, politician, and second son of Pope Alexander VI. Only here, he's possessed by demons, with a Red Right Hand to prove it.

Death Note:

In the land of the dead, a bored Shinigami named Ryuk decides to create some entertainment for himself by dropping a Death Note into the human world.

Light Yagami, a brilliant-yet-disillusioned Japanese student, sees the notebook fall into his world and picks it up. On a whim, he tries out the instructions held within its pages, and discovers that he can kill whomever he wants, however he wants, by writing their name and (optionally) cause of death into the Death Note.

While initially horrified at his actions, Light rationalises that he can use the Death Note as a force for good by purging the rotten and corrupt elements of society, thus creating a world free of crime and violence. A cult following soon arises around the mysterious assassin killing off criminals across the country, christening him "Kira". Kira's actions soon attract the attention of the international police community, now with grave concerns about the vigilante killings, and the world's greatest detective, an enigma of a man known only as "L".

L becomes determined to solve the mystery of Kira and his impossible killing method, employing increasingly aggressive and risky strategies to get the information he wants. Meanwhile, Light spirals into madness as he becomes consumed by both his egomaniacal "Kira" persona and his desperate need to stay one step ahead of L's investigation. It's a cat-and-mouse game neither man can afford to lose — and both of them want to win at all costs.

Dungeon Meshi:

In a fantasy world of dungeon exploration, guilds go out on expeditions to raid dungeons, hoping to find the mysterious Golden Kingdom claimed to be the ultimate treasure of a particular island dungeon, said to be created by a Lunatic Magician after sinking the Kingdom below the ground. Human knight Laios Touden and his adventuring team are saved from a Total Party Kill by a fearsome beast, the Red Dragon, when his sister, Falin, sacrifices herself to teleport them all out of danger. Now she's in the dragon's belly, and it's only a matter of time before she's digested and it's too late to revive her. Laios and his friends must delve back into the depths to recover her remains — but there's not enough time or resources to buy enough rations for the trip. His solution: take advantage of the sprawling ecosystem of the dungeon itself by cooking the various monsters within into delicious, wholesome, dungeon-sourced meals.

Fruits Basket:

After the death of her mother, young Tohru Honda has been secretly living on her own in a tent. Her life changes forever when she stumbles upon the secret of the estate she is living on illegally: the land is owned by the Sohma family, who are afflicted by a Hereditary Curse that changes thirteen members of the family into animals of the Eastern Zodiac (plus the Cat, an animal who would have been part of the Zodiac but was left out) when they are hugged by someone of the opposite sex that is not also a Zodiac member. Oh, and the family is a hotbed of horribly abusive parents and children with enough emotional issues to make a shrink very wealthy.

Upon being discovered and taken in by the Sohmas, sweet-natured Tohru becomes embroiled in the dysfunctional family's various crises, bringing the outside world to the closed-off family while also having to confront some issues of her own.

Goodnight Punpun:

Goodnight Punpun (Oyasumi Punpun) is a supremely bizarre Seinen manga by Inio Asano about the title character, Punpun. Punpun is a young, innocent, and naive child, who, in some kind of strange stylistic choice, is depicted as a simplistic sketch of a bird despite everyone outside of his family looking like a normal human. He has no real dreams, his father is an abusive deadbeat (at least, he appears to be), and his mother is a drunk who regrets having him, but Punpun has one thing: a pretty girl named Aiko whom he fawns over. Well, her, and an afro-clad and slightly useless god he can summon by chanting 'Dear God, dear God, tinkle hoy!'

The story begins as a Slice of Life comedy, following Punpun through his childhood as he deals with his family life, his school life, his social life, and his budding romantic life. While noticeably dark, it also contains a hint of child-like innocence. However, as the series progresses, it develops into an extremely dark Coming of Age story, with all innocence being wiped away. While the humor remains, it takes a backseat to experiences of Punpun, his family, and his acquaintances as they deal with the hardships of adolescence, adulthood, and life in general. The story is split roughly into four arcs: Punpun's life in elementary school, middle school, high school, and as a young adult.

Running concurrently with Punpun's story is a very odd side plot about a cult-like movement trying to (apparently) save the world through "good vibrations", which some of Punpun's classmates end up involved in. It's possibly even more weird and unsettling than anything going on with Punpun, as it's never quite clear if it's real or the mad ramblings of its leader.

Haikyuu:

In junior high, Shōyō Hinata gained a sudden interest in volleyball due to seeing a match on television, which featured a star player nicknamed "The Little Giant", and yearned to follow in his footsteps to become a volleyball ace despite his short stature. Hinata starts his own volleyball club, which no one joins, and practices rigorously by himself. Eventually he convinces enough people to make up a rag-tag team consisting of a couple of members who haven't even played volleyball before just so he could compete in a tournament. His team is quickly annihilated by Tobio Kageyama - "King of the Court" - and his champion team. After suffering a miserable defeat, Hinata vows to defeat Kageyama and surpass him as a volleyball player.

Upon entering Karasuno High School - the school "The Little Giant" attended - Hinata learns that he's now on the same team as Kageyama. The two must learn to work together so they can restore Karasuno to its former greatness.

Ouran High School Host Club

Welcome to Ouran Academy, a distinguished school that provides education to the children of the rich and powerful. Only the wealthiest families can afford to send their sons and daughters to the academy. Thankfully for those whose bank accounts aren't nearly as inflated, Ouran does offer a scholarship program to any hopefuls who wish to attend.

Enter Haruhi Fujioka, one such scholarship student who dreams about becoming a lawyer like her late mother. Unfortunately, her plans to study hard and keep to herself are destroyed when she happens upon the Host Club. This unusual high school club entertains female students through a combination of flirtatious banter and roleplaying, with each of its six members catering to different tastes in boys; there's Takashi "Mori" Morinozuka, the tall and stoic type; Mitsukuni "Honey" Haninozuka, the bubbly and sweet type; the Hitachiin twins, Hikaru and Kaoru, a pair of tricksters who pretend to be madly in love with each other; Kyoya Ohtori, the cool and aloof type; and Tamaki Suoh, the princely type and the Host Club's leader and founder.

Flustered by her discovery, Haruhi's attempt to leave Music Room 3 ends with her accidentally breaking an incredibly expensive vase. Mistaking her for a boy at first, Tamaki declares Haruhi their errand boy, only knocking "him" up to host status when he sees Haruhi's potential. It isn't until after he gives Haruhi a customer quota that Tamaki discovers she's actually a girl.

Before she knows it, Haruhi is swept up into the Host Club's eccentric world as well as the private realms of its individual members. As their school life unfolds, both Haruhi and the rest of the Host Club will affect each other's lives in ways none of them could have imagined.

Please Save My Earth

Alice is an Ordinary High-School Student and Friend to All Living Things. One day, as she's serving as the Badly Battered Babysitter to the neighbor's trip-and-a-half of a boy, she has a chance encounter with two guys from her school class, and in the course of the discussion, it comes out that they've all been having dreams about being alien scientists on the moon studying earth, all in precisely the same continuity.

Eventually, all seven of the scientists at the base are found to have been reincarnated as Japanese teenagers. Their base — and all its weapons — is still operational, and the seven of them must find a way to balance their obligations from past lives with their new lives on Earth…

Tsukihime:

After being involved in a major accident, the young heir of an affluent family, named Shiki Tohno, awakens in a hospital to find parts of his memory are missing and he can see glowing, pulsing red lines covering everything in his sight, from inanimate objects such as his bed to the living doctors and nurses treating him. Furthermore, he discovers that by tracing something along these lines, whatever they're on will fall apart with frightening ease. Growing increasingly unstable staring at a world that could literally fall to pieces with a mere touch, Shiki attempts to escape the hospital, only to come face to face with a self-styled "Magician", who teaches Shiki about his condition, tries to instill in him the beauty and value of life, and as a parting gift gives him a special pair of glasses that hide the lines from what the Magician calls his "Mystic Eyes of Death Perception". Finally able to somewhat recover, Shiki is soon sent away to live with a branch family of the Tohnos, while his sister is made the new heir in his place.

Years later, Shiki is now a high-school student and living a normal life — that is, until he receives some devastating news: his father has died, and he must return to the main Tohno household at once. As Shiki settles into his new home and altered school life, and attempts to reconnect with his estranged family, he happens to cross paths with a strange blonde-haired girl with piercing red eyes on the street. Seized by an overwhelming, unknown desire, Shiki follows her into an alley, and by the time he has regained his senses finds he has cut her into 17 distinct pieces for no apparent reason before passing out in shock… only to then wake up in his bed at home. Was he dreaming? What force could possibly compel him to commit such a horrifying act? Is this somehow linked to his Mystic Eyes of Death Perception, or his family's rumored occult past? And… hang on, did that red-eyed girl just show up again claiming he murdered her? Despite looking no worse for wear? And… does she have a crush on Shiki?!

Umineko no Naku Koro Ni:

Umineko: When They Cry is a kinetic sound novel by 07th Expansion that takes place primarily on October 4th and 5th, 1986, on the island of Rokkenjima. The rich Ushiromiya family is gathering in order to discuss what will happen to patriarch Kinzo's inheritance, since he has been ill in recent days. The protagonist, Battler, has returned to his family after 6 years of rebellion and is eager to reunite with his cousins.

While the arguments about the inheritance ensue, a typhoon traps all 18 people on the island. The family then finds a mysterious letter from a person claiming to be Kinzo's alchemy counselor, the Golden Witch, Beatrice. Beatrice claims that she has been summoned by Kinzo to claim the inheritance, as the family has been deemed unworthy of it. Unless someone solves the riddle of the epitaph on her portrait before 24:00 hours on October 5th and becomes the family successor, Beatrice will claim everything that the family owns, including the ten tons of gold that Kinzo claims will be given to the successor. This is only the beginning of the strange and shocking events that will occur on the island during these two days. Panic, reasoning, romance, heated confrontations and TONS of Mind Screw ensues.

Wolfs Rain:

The Earth sits on the edge of death; years of war between greedy Nobles have reduced the world to a handful of high-tech, Giger-esque cities amidst a barren wilderness. Only a single, small hope still remains: an old legend which says that in civilization's last days, wolves will follow the scent of lunar flowers to Paradise. It sounds promising, but no one has seen either a wolf or a lunar flower for centuries… or so they think.

The world's remaining wolves learned how to project illusions that make them look and sound human in order to protect themselves. Four such wolves — Kiba, Tsume, Hige, and Toboe — meet up in one of the decaying domed cities after noticing the scent of lunar flowers in the air. They soon discover the source of that scent: Cheza, a mysterious young girl genetically bred from a lunar flower by a group of Nobles who want to open a gateway to Paradise.

When a Noble by the name of Darcia kidnaps Cheza to use her healing powers to help his ill fianceé, both the wolves and the feuding Nobles behind Cheza's creation chase after him. An obsessive wolf hunter named Quent complicates the feud, as he knows exactly how wolves protect themselves and works tirelessly to kill them at all costs (with the help of his loyal dog, Blue).

[superkooku]

Dionysus' iceberg

This post is what remains of an initially very long rant idea. That means there will probably be a part 2 😏.

Here's the reason for my title :

In theory, you can stop there since my meme pretty much summarizes my complaints. But since I like ranting, I'll continue 😈

The tip of the iceberg

When you think "Dionysus", which words come in mind first ?

Probably "wine", "party", "alcohol" "fun god".

These words are what most people remember about Dionysus. And yes, I'm not going to deny, they fit.

Unfortunately, my problem comes with the fact that 9.5 times out of 10, Dionysus' personality will exclusively revolve around these aspects.

Since the issue is about modern adaptations and perceptions, I'll use a modern term.

I'm sure most of you are familiar with flanderization, right ? If not, the link to TV Tropes' article on the subject is available.

Many adaptations fell into that trap for, I think, every single Olympian.

Hades, god of the dead, lord of the Underworld = Satan, evil death god, darkness and sorrow

Aphrodite, goddess of love and beauty = Superficial bimbo who only cares about her pretty face

Zeus, king of the gods, lord of the sky and thunder = 100% pure God OR more recently : evil king god who constantly abuses women.

The gods are stripped of their complexity to fit simpler and more "digestible" characterizations. It doesn't help that the cultural context surrounding them is also taken away...

But this is about grape boi, right? Well, Dionysus is no exception to that rule. In fact, he might be one of the worst cases.

So far, he was never really portrayed in an "insulting" light, like Apollo in Lore Olympus or Hades in the Percy Jackson movie. Fortunately.

But, from all the popular adaptations I've seen, none of them manage to portray Dionysus ! None ! Does that make them automatically bad ? No, of course. It's just something I noticed.

God of war ? Doesn't appear, only mentioned

Disney ? Don't even try 🤣. Just a drunk goofball. Yes, that includes the fantasia segment and Hercules.

Lore Olympus? Well, he's a baby for 99.99999% of the time, so it doesn't count. But he's still a quiet little Gucci bag for Persephone.

Hades I ? Just a nice guy. But hey ! He can give us useful boons ! And I like his sass.

Maybe he'll do more in Hades II. They're usually more accurate than most, right ? Though that's not a very high bar. And they know about Zagreus ! Surely that's a good sign, right ?

Nevermind...

Here's what all these adaptations tell us :

Dionysus is the god of wine, feasts and parties

He's an Olympian

He likes to get drunk and party 🥳

And that's it.

Again, I'm not blaming anyone, but if the myths stopped with those three points, wouldn't everyone wonder why he's even an Olympian ? I sure did when I was a kid.

We have the god of thunder, the goddess of wisdom and war strategy, god of music/arts/medicine/100 other things, the god of the oceans ! Many cool gods !

And some drunk dude. He's not given any particular power, except the power to stay super passive no matter the stakes ! If the story revolves about epic godly fights (which is often the case), he's absolutely useless.

Heck, Hades II even actively depicts him as a pacifist who can't handle war. While he's not physically a weakling, he sure psychologically is.

Why is this a problem ?

I am not going to beat around the bush: this gives us a very incomplete and incorrect perception of the god.

Even the things that aren't forgotten about him (like his link to wine) aren't explored.

The thing with Hades II (that's the last time I'll mention it) is that it tries to deepen the flanderized version of Dionysus. He's not stupid, but afraid. He drinks to forget his issues.

While this characterization can be very interesting taken separately, we must remember that this isn't an OC, but an interpretation of a cultural figure.

It must be accurate ! While I can accept some liberties, I think that those should mostly be an extension of the original material, not a total deviation.

Dionysus isn't a scared little boi or a stupid drunkard you can manipulate. In fact, that's quite the opposite. And he's not afraid to get his hands dirty.

(even if the "dirt" in question is the blood of his enemies).

Under the surface

Though it's rather "stuff you can find on Wikipedia". Or by reading the myths.

More about it in part 2 of the rant...

It'll be about theater, madness, travels, link between mortality and immortality and... pirates turning into dolphins.

The actual interesting stuff about Dionysus.

Edits :

1. Thanks to @st4riel-the-w1tchling for clarifying the situation about Percy Jackson. I made my own research about BoZ. My opinion is basically still the same. Again, nothing terribly offensive, but nothing that interesting for Dionysus either.

2. I made part 2 a while ago, might as well add it here :

[spaceofentropy]

The fic has been out for a few days already, but I can finally make my own post and inflict it on y'all, and nobody can stop me, bwahahahahahah!

*cough* So, I took part in the Stranger Things Big Bang (2024 edition) and was so lucky that @lemonhitsu claimed my fic and made some amazing art for it, and also this banner up here! I'm so honored to have his great art on my fic, and proud to have inspired him even just a tiny bit! T^T Look at what he made! So pretty! So sad! So perfect!

My fic is a story about pining boys, with a big dose of angst and fluff, and a happy ending (and some smut just at the end). It's titled Flesh for Fantasy (thank you for the title, Billy Idol!) and you can find it here on ao3.

It's inspired by a Teen Wolf fic that I have reread a bit too many times and never fails to give me all the feels thanks to so much delicious angst and I'm a sucker for good angst, oh, yes I am! But I digress.

I loved writing my story, and mixing reality and Fantasy was a fun way to stretch my writing muscles. I was very lucky that @dragonflylady77 beta-read it for me, and that she and @medusapelagia patiently listened to me ramble while I was still writing it.

Anyway, here's the link to the story once again, and here are the info about the fic itself:

Flesh for Fantasy Rated E; 32000 words; no archive warnings Relationship: Billy/Steve Characters: Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley, Billy Hargrove, the Party, Maxine Mayfield, Jim "Chief" Hopper, Neil Hargrove, Susan Hargrove, Steve's parents The big tags: no Upside Down AU; Neil Hargrove; Child Abuse; car accidents; hospitals; blood and injury; broken bones; touch-starved Billy Hargrove; fluff and angst; emotional hurt/comfort; Platonic stobin; hopeless crushes; eventual smut; homophobia; non-sexual intimacy Synopsis: In a world where if you Fantasize about someone, that person feels it on their skin, someone starts Fantasizing about Steve Harrington. But instead of being sexual Fantasies, it's for cuddles and soft touches, so restrained that Steve has no idea who his phantom hugger is. All he knows is they must have a good reason to keep hidden like that.

I also have a little (?) snippet, but it's under the cut so the post is not too long on the timeline :P

"Do you think I look lonely?" She's taken aback by what must feel like a sudden change in subject. "Uh… No. I mean… sometimes, maybe. Babe, what does this have to do with anything?" "The Dreamer. It's never, like, a sex thing." "But that's what Fantasies are for. For sex!" "I know, okay, but this is… It's hugs. This person, whoever it is, hugs me." Steve gives Robin a couple of seconds to look at him in stunned silence and digest his words, then he asks her: "Do I look like I need a hug that bad that someone feels it's their duty to provide one?" "How long has this girl been giving you Fantasy hugs?" Robin asks, her tone poised somewhere between bewildered and worried. "Aside from the fact I don't even know if it's a guy or a gal, it's been… uh… weeks? A month? Maybe more, I'm not sure." "And you never told me a thing?!" she shouts, outraged. "I just did!" Robin smacks the back of her hand on his arm in an offended gesture. "That doesn't count and you know it!"

[sunkissedscribbles]

Prejudiced - Chapter Eight

this is only a part of the series, the previous and next chapters can be found here 

a/n: this one is a little more *extreme* and rather experimental for cass but i had so much fun writing it, i hope y'all enjoy!!

word count: 2347

tw: wlw, drugs & alcohol use, cassie being oblivious, ki's daddy issues (this is gonna be a permanent warning i guess)

summary: though starting off a little more serious with ki & cass' conversation, it gets more lighthearted the moment the boys enter the picture

<previous chapter          next chapter>

dividers by @chachachannah

I'm sitting on Ki's bed, my back sunk into her pillows behind me as I anxiously fidget with the strings of my plaid trousers as we're discussing the events of the previous hour when Harry's name flew out of the red flames of the goblet.

"I don't know, Cass," she sighs, shaking her head at me. "It doesn't sit right with me either."

"It's always him," I drop my head onto the pillows. "This is a bad omen."

"He is a bad omen," she rolls her eyes sarcastically and I shoot her a glare. "You think it has Voldemort behind it?" Kiara lowers her voice and I nod slowly but surely.

"Yeah, I mean... I kinda heard him talking to Ron and Hermione about him having nightmares. And now with his name..."

"But what if he put it into the Goblet?" Ki asks, somewhat hopeful that there's no dark force behind it, to which I shake my head.

"He couldn't possibly do it–"

"I know, I know, the age shit. But Granger must know some potions or charms to confuse the circle," to that, I shake my head.

"She said it to the twins herself. There's no way. Plus why would she or Harry want to risk his life? Cedric, Fleur and Krum are all of age, Harry's inexperienced and his knowledge isn't as wide and deep as theirs."

We both stay silent for a few seconds, just digesting what's been said just now.

Kiara's the one to break the quiescence, "I've heard Karkaroff was a Death Eater. What if he put Harry's name into it?" I frown at the suggestion. It would make sense.

"Do you think he was there? At the World Cup?" I ask in a reserved tone.

"He could've," she nods as she rolls onto his left to face me comfortably. "We didn't talk about it enough, did we?"

I shake my head. "I don't know. It's not really our–"

"But it affected you," she insists and reaches out for my hand to squeeze it. "It affected you more than me because–"

"Because dad and 'cuz my whole family consists of Death Eaters?" I cut in with a roll of my eyes – we're on topic again...

"No. I mean, partly," she shakes her head, to which I frown. Just partly? "Cass," she continues with a sigh, "because of your cousin. And mostly because of Mattheo."

I'm taken aback by her words, not quite understanding why she brings them up now.

"How do they come here?" I shake my head.

"C'mon, don't pretend like you don't know..."

She's somewhat right. Even if Draco and I don't act like family anymore, I still care about him. And knowing my uncle, Lucius will force Draco into whatever that's going on. It doesn't sit right with me how collected Draco was at the World Cup back in August when the Death Eaters arose from nowhere. I bet his father was amongst them – why else would he have been so at ease while it happened? He knew. And the ministry's trying to cover for it so desperately like it was nothing. Something is off, I just can't explain it properly. So, yes, I do care about my cousin and don't want him to make the same mistakes our fathers did.

And Mattheo... he hasn't had a good night's sleep in months, he's my friend, one of my best mates and I'm worried about him. Merlin, I can already imagine the hate he'd get if the whole Voldemort misery started again. People would accuse him of helping his father, and not only at Hogwarts but in the entire Wizarding World. His and Harry's nightmares are a concerning sign.

"Cass?" Ki's worried-curious voice shakes me out of my thoughts. "What is it?"

I shake my head – I promised Mattheo not to tell the others about his nightmares and sleeping problems. But at the same time...

"I shouldn't really tell you about this, but..." I start in a voice which piques Ki's attention immediately. "Remember when Matt and I borrowed Harry's cloak...?"

"How could I forget?" she grins, which gives away she's thinking about those two kisses Matt and I shared that day, and I just roll my eyes at her.

"You can't tell anyone about this, especially not Theo but..."

So, I tell Ki how Matt came over the night before I had to temporarily steal Harry's invisibility cloak, but obviously, forget about the part where he pinned me to my bed after I'd woken him up and wanted to kiss him for the first time. She reacts more casually than I did – she seems like she wants to tell me about something as well, but maybe I'm seeing things and it's not the case.

"Are you dressed? Hope not," Theo's voice follows a line of knocks on the door, aborting the conversation we had going on, then the door opens and Theo's grin fades into a mock-disappointed frown, accompanied by a sigh. "Why hide those gorgeous bodies from a bit of attention?"

Semi-uncomfortably, I fix the tank top I have on – now thinking it was a bad idea to wear as it embraces my upper body completely, trying to resist the urge to pull the blanket on me completely and show that I am insecure about my skin and body.

Ki in the meantime grins at Theodore but flips him off as well.

Mattheo and Enzo follow Theo, the latter with some brownies in his hand, from which I already don't expect much because A, it was made by the boys who definitely are stupid to the kitchen, and B, because of the weed the cookies contain.

We all settle down on the floor and Ki pulls a box full of beverages out from under her bed. Of course, why'd I expect anything else?

"Thoughts on Potter?" Enzo speaks up as he places the plastic box in the middle of the circle next to the bottles of firewhisky and wine.

We share a look with Ki, and then I glance at Mattheo, and I don't answer.

"Attention seeker, he's–" Theo starts with a shrug but Kiara cuts him off.

"Let's not bring this up now."

Gratefully, I look over at her before opening the bottle of wine. I didn't have a headache this morning after last night's session in the Astronomy Tower but to say the least, I don't remember much.

"At least it's not one of our names, hm?" I try to look and sound reassuring as I take a long sip from the bottle.

A bottle of wine consumed into the night and Ki lies down on the floor. "I wanna kiss him so bad," she practically whines in misery.

Theo towers over her with a grin, "I'm here, Piccolina," but only earns Ki to push him away, at which we all tilt our heads.

"Not you, cazzo," she grunts and I chuckle, Mattheo and Enzo too, Theo looks offended. I've spent enough time with Kiara to know 'cazzo' means the same term of endearment I prefer to call McLaggen, like 90% of the time: prick. "Seb," she clarifies.

"Who?" Theo furrows his brows a bit possessively. At first, I have no idea either. But then it hits me.

"Harper," Enzo and I mutter together, and Mattheo snorts a laugh.

"The Astronomy teacher?" Matt shakes his head in a mix of shock, disbelief, and some humour and Theo places a hand over his heart overdramatically.

"Ow, Cara Mia, you wound me."

"Little Miss Daddy Issues," Enzo teases and Ki just laughs at him in the haze of her tipsiness.

"You know," Theo objects, "if you were my little girl, I'd do whatever I could do. Anything for you."

I laugh and shake my head at the entertainment. Whenever Theo drinks, he becomes more insistent. More possessive, he wants Kiara all to himself, all the time. I'm starting to think he's more into her than she is into him.

Ki keeps insisting on wanting and needing Professor Harper, so I come up with an idea when Theo looks almost hurt.

"Let's list the pros and cons," I shrug as I reach for my black notebook in my bag and open it at an empty page. Ki doesn't question anything, the boys do, by only sharing an intrigued, almost sceptical look.

Ki takes the notebook and the pencil and starts scribbling unstoppably.

daddy

tattoos

brown eyes

smash

sweet

kind

helpful

single,

I see as Ki places the notebook down in the circle, open.

"Bet his dick is tiny," Theo scoffs jealously.

"Bet it's bigger than yours," Mattheo teases with a grin, to which he earns an offended middle finger flip into the air from Theo's direction.

"Kind and sweet?" I raise my brows.

"Your first interaction with him was five points deprived of Slytherin," Enzo adds as he nods at me. I didn't think he'd come tonight – he's been pretty busy lately.

"Yeah, and like... he's our teacher," I continue.

"But," Ki takes the notebook again before showing us her new point with a finger pointing at the words.

HE’S ONLY 32 

"He's 32," I repeat with a look of disbelief and a disapproving shake of my head.

"Reversed paedophilia," Mattheo snorts while Theo's trying to come up with new insults about Seb's size.

"Could be your dad," Enzo adds.

Ki scoffs and shakes her head, "But he's only twice my age!"

"YES. twice your age, princess, he could’ve knocked your mum up when he was 16 and you’d be here," Matt rolls his eyes, using the pet name sarcastically, and I shoot him a glare.

"Fuck you, that's literally my life story," I shove him mock-offendedly

A few new pros follow this conversation on the paper.

perfect conversations

sassy

his smirk

he’s hot when he licks his lips

"When did you see him lick his lips?" Enzo frowns.

"I had to go stalk him with her today," I mutter in amusement as a response.

"But I can look sexy licking my lips, too!" Theo shakes his head.

cute smile

intense eye contact

tension between us

his lips seem soft

"Don't like his shoes," Matt rolls his eyes and with a nod, I agree. Professor Harper has these shiny, really elegant shoes which muggles wear to formal events.

"Don't like him," Theo adds gruffly, leaning back against Kiara's bed.

Feeling like my body needs a refill from the wine, I take another drag from the bottle, and then, after some convincing from Mattheo and Enzo, I try the brownies.

Theo at this point kind of gives in with resignation in his voice as he says, "At least he can give you House Points..." to which Kiara grins and with a nod writes it down. Then, she moves her hand to the top of the paper and writes only one word on top of the list in all caps:

HANDS

I frown – I've never really understood the thing with hands, so I shake my head. "What about hands?"

"WHAT ABOUT THEM?" she asks offendedly. "He has big, veiny hands that would make a great necklace."

I roll my eyes and scoff playfully, the brownies hitting already. "I have veiny piano hands and you don't look like you'd die to sit on my fingers."

"Why, you want me to?" she grins lightheartedly, almost flirtatiously.

I smirk back at her, not expecting more than the usual banter, "Please."

To that, Ki leans in whimsically, and I, playing along, start to close the gap between us as well until our lips meet in the middle, to my biggest surprise. I've never kissed Ki, let alone any girl but why does it feel kinda nice? Ki grabs my neck and pulls me in by gripping a handful of hair on the back of my neck, and I bite her bottom lip in response. Her sudden little moan at the sensation of my teeth sinking into the pink flesh takes me by surprise, and I grin against her lips. I feel the alcohol pumping in my veins and mixing with a sudden rush of adrenaline as I forget about the outer world, about kissing my best friend so eagerly while our other friends are probably staring at the escalating heated scenes. We end up kneeling up as we melt more against each other, and running my fingers through the silky locks of her hair, she shudders and lets out another involuntarily groan. I'm a little taken aback when she grabs my hips and pulls me closer, and how her hand then starts to travel up my body under my crop top, tugging the fabric up and revealing inches of skin. As we continue kissing each other frantically and hungrily, I can't help but tug her closer to me by hooking a finger into the waistband of her PJ pants, desperate to take control of the situation. But it's only a vain dream as she breaks the kiss to yank my head backwards to give herself better access to my neck, and she starts to nibble at the skin and leave a spot that for sure will be visible tomorrow. With foggy eyes, I look at Kiara the moment she pulls back and grins at me when she sees her dedicated work.

"My hickey looks good on you."

I smirk back at her, completely out of my head because of the effects of the weed and the alcohol, "Want one too?"

"Sure," the grin is impossible to be erased from her lips as she nods.

So, without any hesitation, I tug the neck of her shirt to the side to get to her collarbone and start sucking at the soft flesh over the stiff bones. This is how I receive her first hickey and she does mine.

Ki's technically stolen from me as Theo pouts, "My turn!" and he pulls my best friend closer to himself while trying to kiss her senseless to make her forget about the previous moments she shared with me possessively.

I turn back to Mattheo and Enzo in a dazed state and see them share a look. "Why was that kinda hot?" Matt asks.

tag list: @inksoakedparchment @mqstermindswift @reys-letters @girllblogging777

[delta-pavonis]

Dreaming Week 2024 Day 3

Dreamling Week 2024 Day 3 Prompts (from @mr-sadman): solarpunk, painting, meet cute, massage

Dreamling || Rated T || 1093 words

tags (other than the prompts above): fantasy, urban fantasy, solarpunk, drow druid/sorcerer Dream, half wood elf bard/gunsmith Hob, investigator partners with a history, they get captured and held for days as torture, passing mention of biological consequences of being tied to chairs for days on end, confessions

Read Part 1 here. Part 2 here.

(In chronological order, Part 2 comes before Part 1 and this comes after Part 1. Mentions events of Part 1 and events discussed in Part 2.)

“When we get out of this the first thing I am doing is getting a three hour massage, bloody fuck these chains are tight.” Dream tries to twist his wrist to get some wiggle room and can't even manage that; all the movement does is jostle their chairs. His partner whines. “You alright there, Hob?”

They are chained to a pair of chairs, back to back, with heavy steel links. The chains aren't spelled, but they don't need to be when they are this tight: there is no way Dream will pull off even the smallest somatic component restrained like this and Hob certainly can’t play an instrument or draw a gun. Even worse, the room is unnaturally dark.

Dream hadn’t realized how used he had gotten to the sunlight and the greenery of the surfacelands until they were taken from him. For a moment he takes comfort in thoughts of twirling tree branches forming the beams of great towers, arched windows carefully grown in between, columns of elevators going so high they meet the top of the building in the clouds. He thinks of winding streets made of sandstone and brass and overflowing with greenery, the whirring music of solar panels as they track the sunlight along with their flower-kin. 

The thought of the movement of the sun reminds Dream that time has been passing, that they have been in here long enough that he is starting to have trouble tracking time–the only clock he has to go by is his heartbeat and that is only reliable for so long. Hunger has long since passed into a dull ache, which tells him it must be more than a couple days. Both of them have vacated all the remaining volume of foodstuffs left in their digestive tracts, removing another marker of time. 

They have not seen another soul since they awoke here. There is a dim illumination that comes from… somewhere, but Dream cannot pinpoint it. It is only enough to see his own knees by, make out the faintest outline of the large stone blocks of the ceiling that is a mere few feet above their heads. It is not enough for Hob to see anything, dull as his half-human senses are. 

Cruelly enough, water drips from the seams in the stone structure in a few places, landing on the top of their heads, on Hob’s shoulder and chest, on Dream’s cheek. It is the bare minimum to keep them alive and Dream suspects that is very much on purpose.

Dream leans his head back with a sigh and it presses against Hob's. 

“You ever wonder what would have happened if we met under different circumstances?” Hob's speech is slurred enough that it makes Dream reconsider if those arrows they got hit with were a poison targeted for those of the surface. It adds a new layer to the puzzle of who has captured them. “Like, if I wasn't working that night in the tavern, wasn't being the biggest distraction possible?” He is silent for a beat. “I would've asked to join you at your table. Start back up properly, like old friends might. But we’re not friends, are we?” His chuckle is hollow. “No, most definitely not. Perhaps I would’ve tried to woo you with song… paint you a picture with music. Gods, you were so beautiful. Are. So beautiful.”

“Hob…” He doesn't sound like himself, can't possibly be meaning to say any of this. 

“Do you have any idea how badly I want you? Fuck, like all the time. From the very first moment I saw you, when you walked into the Guildhall while I was trying to convince them to hire me. I can even still hear the swissh-click of your airwalker boots on the wooden floor.” Dream can hear him swallow. “It never goes away, you know? This yearning for you. It lives inside me now.”

He closes his eyes and tries to ignore it. Hob cannot be meaning to say this right now and Dream certainly does not want to hear it without Hob’s consent; he is relieved when they lapse into silence once again. 

But it doesn't last.

“If you get a chance to escape, you have to promise me to take it, even if you can't get me out.” Hob’s voice is a threadbare whisper.

No. They can't talk like this. He won't have it. “Hob, you’re-”

“I am not delirious and I am not talking nonsense!” He is panting now and Dream swears he can hear Hob's racing heartbeat. It is another piece of evidence that he is not himself. “Promise me, Dream. Promise me you will save yourself if you have the chance, even at my expense.”

“No.” Absolutely not. Dream's answer is immediate and brooks no argument; he won't even consider it. The idea is anathema, like teaching the Druidic language outside of a Circle or attempting to unbalance Nature itself. “I will not leave without you.” 

Hob’s breath rate is increasing, pushing into hyperventilating, and his voice is unsteady as a newborn foal’s legs. He sounds almost on the verge of tears and it makes something in Dream’s heart crack. “Please, Dream! I need you to promise me.”

He grits his teeth hard enough to make them squeak. “I will make no such vow.” Dream growls. It is harsh, he knows, but he will also not lie to Hob. Not after everything they’ve been through. 

They never got a chance to talk about it, what lay implied between them from their adventure with that soul-swapping curse. Not properly. Not before this case, which pretty much immediately went tits up. Fuck, they should have spoken about it. 

Dream adds this to his long ledger of regrets.

When Hob speaks again the words are clearly forced through a rising tide of panic. “I need to know you’ll be safe, that y-” 

“Breathe Hob. We don’t need to plan-”

“Promise me!” he sobs. “I need to know you wi-”

That something in Dream breaks.

“I will not leave without my Mate!”

For a moment the only sound in the small room is Hob’s panting, then Dream lets his head fall back; this time it lands on Hob’s shoulder with a dull whump.

“You were right. What you felt during the curse.” Dream closes his eyes. “I am sorry I didn’t tell you. I just… we were… we’ve been…”

Hob turns his head, twists his shoulders, as much as possible, until his nose nudges the point of Dream’s ear. “Stupid. We’ve been truly. Amazingly. Stupid.”

[daily-singularity]

Hello. I am here to ask you about their paralells and how insane they make you. Pretty please... you're the only one feeding us the good food...

Going insane. white knuckling my pen and paper. I will do my best to make this coherent, apologies in advance if its a mess!!

In the simplest terms both Gabriel and Hux are carbon copy assembly line units created by Huxlee industries for the purpose of colonizing planets and prolonging the human race.

Gabriel is a tool just as much as the Huxlee units are.

"Each individual was manufactured for a different societal function... The idea was to create a functional society that would operate flawlessly." - Gabriel Soma BIO

"Unlike human clones, the HUX-A7 required no food, no water, no sleep, and no life support system. It was created specifically for outer space exploration and the construction of colonization hubs." - HUX-A7-13 BIO

Gabriel was specifically designed by Huxlee for planet colonization. Outside of his time on Dvarka, I gather that Gabriel was in a permanent deep sleep/cryostatis. All of his memories of his family and childhood are fabrications- he has no real life or directives or experiences outside of his work on Dvarka.

---

Both were under the threat of termination, or reprogramming should they fall out of line.

"Dmitri’s not trying to help… he’s trying to get me to stop asking questions. What does he know? What’s he hiding?" - Tome 16, Memory 2998 (Gabriel Soma)

"It remembers its objective. It must assist the crew in terraforming Dvarka. Failure to do so will result in termination."- Tome 16, Memory 2665 (Hux-a7-13)

When Gabriel first starts noticing discrepancies in his memories, his crew's medic writes off his issues as "problems that dont exist", and gives him a drug that fogs up his senses. Its a clear attempt to force him back into subservience, a message of "Stop digging or else".

We're never able to find out what would happen to Gabriel if it became known that he found out about the fact hes a clone, but I gather he would be removed from the project. Terminated so he wouldn't spread panic.

--

After Gabriel finds out about the fact he's a clone, it's a lot harder to get more direct info on his mentality, since thats where his Memory archives end.

Neither of them have much experience with free will.

Due to the fact that both Gabriel and Hux were taken by the entity near immediately after learning they were a clone/gained sentience, it isnt much of a stretch to say that neither of them have experience with a sense of individuality.

Gabriel learns that his entire life has been a fabricated lie and then is immeidately shoved into a killing game. He doesn't really get that chance to come to terms with who and what he is before having to fight for his life.

Hux on the other hand, had more time to digest his new worldview. He was able to start forming his own desires and wants even if they were as simple as "Kill the inferior human worms who created me", or abstract as wanting to "the remake the universe in my image over infinate lifetimes"- whatever the fuck that means Hux. Its really unfortunate that he barely begins to form these desires before theyre all stripped away from him and he is once again forced into subservience.

---

I was gonna put like idk an insightful little footnote here, but i spent absolutely way to long writing this post. Anyways. Gabriel and hux are both tools struggling with a sense of self while being forced to kill or be killed.

Also. can Behavior please fucking explain to me why Gabriel was waxing poetic about the beauty and godliness of the machine that he watched slowly kill his entire crew, like goddamn ogling that machine, then he exploded it. and then like. went "ok damn still godlike."

I just wanna talk with whoever wrote this please. what was. what does this mean. i need to know.

"It had fabricated a new body for itself. Part flesh. Part silicon. Part human. Part machine. Massive. Powerful. Beautiful and majestic like—

An ancient God."

"Gabe raced across the meadow and into the forest. When he looked back, he saw the HUX emerge from the flames and smoke. Burning. Melting. Shrieking. Deformed. Terrible and wrathful like—

An ancient God"

[daisukitoo]

Humans are small ecosystems animated by hive minds, which present themselves as singular "multi-cellular life forms," as if such a thing were possible. When dealing with humans, it is best to humor this self-presentation, as they have been known to become violent if this self-image is challenged or if you attempt to appeal to their components individually.

When communicating with a human, you will be addressing the verbal module of one organ of one cellular subset. This verbal module itself possesses no apparent intelligence or self-awareness, but it draws upon the resources of other processing systems. Again, it is safest not to remind humans of this, nor to take their languages' frequent use of the second-person plural in place of the second-person singular as recognition of their collective agency. When addressing one human ecology, "you" is treated as a singular, despite the grammatical and biological absurdity. Reference the interspecies relations manual for FAQs on this topic.

Human ecosystems exist in multiple layers. The most central "human" organisms are a collection of symbiotic, specialized cells built from a common template. Humans will often recognize this layer as "you" and expect other species to be built similarly. They do not recognize the existence of other layers as themselves.

For example, the entire surface of a human is a "microorganism" battleground, where Earth yeasts and bacteria fight for eminence. If any faction wins, the ecology will be stabilized and the human will both die and become uncommunicative. Do not offer aid or comfort to any involved faction. Humans will take personal offense at discussions of their surface microorganisms.

Humans are not capable of digesting their own sustenance. Rather than absorb any common energy wavelengths, humans must consume other organisms and absorb them into the local ecology. They call the first several steps of their digestion "cooking," by which sustenance is physically and chemically altered before ingestion. Their "gut bacteria" is a collection of captured subspecies that they have incorporated into their corporeal bodies. Again, offering to "cure" gut bacteria is considered offensive and is potentially fatal (although not quickly enough to be valuable as a combat technique; see the relevant subsection of the interspecies relations FAQ).

Humans are strangely aware that all of their "cells" contain other organisms in a symbiotic relationship as a powerhouse. This recognition extends only to these "mitochondria," with the usual offense taken if other subsections of the ecology are recognized or addressed.

Avoid contact with any liquid emitted by a human. Human ecosystems aggressively reproduce themselves through the transfer of components in liquid form. While not all toxic human liquids are active assimilation vehicles, assume that the human is present and potentially attempting to assimilate in any liquid form. This is only a class 3 danger for most life forms, but exposure can be fatal in biologies sufficiently similar to humans. Humans emit liquids at and in each other frequently as a form of communication and fellowship; do not be surprised if humans offer their liquids to you in a variety of forms of direct contact. Humans may take offense at a refusal of liquids or contact, but most humans you are likely to encounter off Earth are sufficiently aware of norms to attempt to hide this offense. Humans may be aggressively eager to assimilate or create hybrid lifeforms, despite the rarity with which this is biologically feasible. Attempts should be avoided, as success is at least as likely to be fatal as the attempt.

It remains unclear whether one aspect of a human drives the collective or if the collective is a true hive mind. Again, the verbal component that communicates with other life forms seems unaware of most ecological factors happening in "itself," and this is so consistent that it is hard to believe it is a humanity-wide deception being played against other lifeforms.

Most humans seem to possess an instinctive revulsion to other hive minds and collective ecological lifeforms. Because the human communication module is unaware of its own collective nature, it is not helpful in providing insight into whether this antipathy is driven by factors such as a competitive drive or a need to avoid self-recognition.

As above, a subset of humans will eagerly attempt assimilation with other collective intelligences via liquid transmission in either direction. There is no apparent biological difference in these humans, and these contacts are usually fatal to at least one party. Verbal recognition of this fact has no apparent connection to a human's eagerness, again speaking to the verbal module's inability to observe what motivates the collective ecology.

It is best to isolate different forms of collective intelligences from each other to avoid either conflict or assimilation attempts.

[onefellsloop]

WIP Wednesday (this is a thing, right?)

From my Brigid Maturin WIP - in which Brigid discovers Capitalism, and admires a Spleen

She had always assumed that she and her father were very poor, for they lived in their uncle’s house, and her father never bought new clothes. The one thing that they did seem to have in abundance was books; from this she concluded that books were distributed free of charge by charitably-minded printers, a belief that persisted until she was almost taken up for petty larceny by an irate stationer. The source of the books remained a mystery until the day she rowed with Aunt Sophie about another of her silly rules.

‘Brigid, we have been through this. You cannot come to Dorchester if you will not wear your shoes.’

‘I hate my shoes. They make my feet feel horrible.’

‘Well, that is hardly a wonder, my dear: they must be two years old if they are a day. If you had allowed Mr Bellamy to measure your feet –'

‘I don’t want new shoes.’

‘Yes, you have made that very clear. But sweetheart, your old shoes are much too small; it is no wonder that they hurt your poor feet. Why don’t you put them on now, and we can go to Mr –’

‘I don’t want new shoes!’

‘But whyever not?’ cried Aunt Sophie, and she said, trembling with wounded pride, ‘Because my Papa cannot afford them.’

Aunt Sophie very incredulously gave her to believe that her father could afford to buy out all of the cordwainers in England, if only he would think of doing such a thing, and spoke rather severely about the impractical minds of men.

She did not like this way of speaking about her father; still, she went up to his rooms and found him bent over his desk, spectacles quivering on the end of his nose. ‘Brigid,’ he said, ‘you are the very one I was wishing for. Would you blow into this tube, now.’

She blew obediently, and he wrote something down. Then she said, ‘Papa, do we have a great deal of money?’

‘A sight too much, I am sorry to say. Why, only last week I put up two hundred pounds towards a chair in zoology; I went to my bed with a great sense of lightness, and in the morning I found that, like the dreadful Hydra, some infernal government bond had spawned three hundred pounds of its own. I have very little idea what to do: perhaps if we tried to make money, it would eventually leave us alone. To be sure, it has worked for your uncle.’

During his speech the tube had somehow become tied around his neck, and she digested this news while he untangled himself. Then she said, very hesitantly, ‘Ought I buy some new shoes?’

‘Shoes?’ he said, as if he had never heard of such a thing. ‘I suppose that I have known young ladies to have shoes. But Brigid, have you not been putting a dent into our reserves? Have you been leaving me to deal with the vile stuff alone? What good is it to possess a daughter if she is not helping to rid me of my capital?’

‘I am sorry, Papa; I did not know. But I will certainly buy some new shoes now.’

‘And stockings,’ he said eagerly. ‘And fripperies, my dear; you must surround yourself with fripperies.’

‘What are fripperies?’

He frowned at her and said, ‘They are the feathers that ladies wear in their hats. As for your shoes, there is some money in the press, I believe, along with’ – he brightened considerably – ‘the spleen of a right whale, which I have plans to dissect this evening. Should you like to join me?’

‘It is a lovely spleen.’ It was sitting plumply on a silver tray, which teetered atop a large and untidy pile of coins, banknotes and a few gold ingots.

‘I doubt that it will keep until the morning; already I believe I observe the slightest of olfactory disturbances: you had not noted it? No, I supposed not; but your aunt becomes unhappy when I let the organs linger. Now, if only we had a walrus spleen, you would find the comparison most instructive. I will look out my old notes, and you may read them over dinner.’

[ryverbind]

Faceless Fixation (Sal Fisher): Post Tenebras Spero Lucem [29]

A/N: welcome back, my ryver lilies... (can i call u guys that????)

+++++++

TW: smutty smut smut

------

A thousand times, I've pondered the infinite number of wonders of this world. Whether they apply to humanity, nature, logic, politics, love, desire-- what have you. I've thought of them all. Taken time to digest and try my best to understand them in my own, less-than-intellectual way.

But this-- this is something I can't wrap around my head. My brain can't decode this one. Can't make sense of it. All that echoes in the once hollow crevices of my mind is an urge so palpable that I cannot possibly suppress it. Even the reminder of danger and caution doesn't give me a red light to consider putting on the brakes.

There's nothing I want more in this moment.

Skin on mine, lips ravaging my own, and our bodies inseparable-- I can only blame Sal for every one of my recent downfalls. He doesn't give me a chance to recover. We just keep pushing and pushing and pushing these boundaries that we swear we'll never break.

And yet, here we are.

Sal has me against his bedroom door, the wood shuddering beneath my weight as he groans against my lips. His hands mold into every curve of my body, committing my essence to his memory.

His fingers wrap around my jaw, each action of his languid and liquid-like-- about as graceful as a ballet. He pulls me impossibly closer to him, opening his mouth so that his teeth scrape against my lips. Every single movement is desperate, hardly considered in the depths of his troubled mind. 

I'm here. I'm a willing body. That's all that matters.

I grab onto either side of his face, tilt my head, and kiss him fiercely. He devours me whole, his tongue pushing past my lips and delving into my mouth. 

I'm bewitched by the feeling of his lips, his body, his hands. The taste of him, peaches and complete devotion dancing along his tongue. I imagine I must taste the same, giving into him like this.

With nowhere left to go, Sal only shoves himself impossibly closer to me. It's like he can't stand being physically apart from me-- not that I mind. His tongue tangling with mine and mouth kissing with everything he's got, teeth nipping at me with the accuracy of a serpent. 

He's more than tempting. I want nothing other than to worship the ground he walks on at this exact moment.

Sal gasps, catching his breath all while keeping up his ruthless attack. An arm wraps around my waist, tugging me against him and holding me tight. "Let me have you," he whispers breathlessly.

"Please," I whine, my voice near silent beneath our heavy breaths and pounding hearts.

He leans forward, nose pressing into mine. My mask gets squished to my face, but I couldn't care less in a moment like this. The dull pain of the edges biting into my cheeks is nothing compared to the intense pleasure I know this man can give me.

Sal's hands wrap around the back of my thighs and he effectively lifts me off my feet with little effort. I grab at his biceps to keep my balance, appreciating the feeling of his skin beneath my palms. 

He moves an arm underneath my legs, keeping me close to him with the other hand pressed into the middle of my back. He licks at my teeth, my tongue, my lips-- completely possessed by something I've never encountered before in my life. An animal, ravenous and hungry and eager to take, take, take.

I'm just as desperate to give every bit of myself to him. 

I can hardly see him with the way he's pressed against me, kissing me with such fervor that I wonder if we'll ever part. But sometimes, a flash of azure blue crosses my vision-- his eyes, dashing across my features and deciding on his next move before he takes initiative. He's a man of few words, but he's smart, dedicated, maddening. 

No more words pass between us as he places me onto his bed, his lips trailing down my neck and over the top of my chest. His fingers dip into the collar of my shirt, tugging it downward to make more room for his messy kisses. 

I watch him, panting as his free hand runs across my waist and over my thighs, feeling whatever bit of me he can get. His form is bewitching, just as he's bewitched by my presence, at his mercy. His ruffled hair, eyes closed as he focuses on admiring me, his dark lashes splayed across the tops of his cheeks. The freckles dotting his skin and scars sketching a map that I only wish to travel with my lips, my fingers. His brows that scrunch here and there while he sucks on my skin, taking his time with me.

Those sinful, tattooed hands of his effortlessly grab onto the edge of my shorts and shimmy them down my legs. The man doesn't even bat an eye or switch focus, he only continues to lick at the skin of my neck. 

I kick off my shorts once he pulls them down as far as he can. His hair tickles my throat as he licks a stripe up the length of my neck, his lips closing over the skin just under my ear. His cool hands move up my shirt, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. I don't know anything but him-- nothing exists aside from his hands skimming over my ribs and his lips kissing every bare bit of me he can possibly get.

Sal separates himself from me for the sole purpose of nearly ripping my shirt off me; I'm afraid he'll take my mask with it, but he's always one step ahead. Sal puts a hand on the bottom of my mask, his palm pressed against my mouth as he pulls my shirt over my head, my bra soon following.

My heart swells with compassion at the gesture. He didn't have to do that for me, but he did.

When the shirt is thrown somewhere across the room, Sal looks down at me with his pretty blue eyes. One pupil blown out, the other normal. His mismatched gaze sets my heart aflame; his obvious infatuation with me making me feel so many things at once. His kissed, parted lips and pink cheeks make me want to break down in tears-- I can't tell what kind of tears they would be though.

But he's beautiful; dragging his gaze down my body, over each little mark he's made on my skin and every part of me he's so efficiently exposed. 

Things are moving so much faster now than they ever have. Sal and I usually bide our time, test the limits of the short moments we're granted and pretend we're surprised when everything goes wrong. But it's only me and him right now. For the night. Alone. And we've crossed a bridge that we didn't even know had been built. We've shared not only an intimate moment, but experiences that are going to change the trajectory of how our future will play out. 

We can't go back to the way things were. I know one of his secrets. His lips have mapped out mine. I've gotten a taste of something I'll never be able to forget. I'll only ever want more.

Sal lets out a thoughtful sigh, his cerulean eyes suddenly meeting mine. Something about his half-lidded gaze and lax features scream obsession that neither of us can ignore anymore. Because while he's looking at me like this, I'm very aware that my expression is much the same.

His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows thickly, no doubt realizing he's in for hell after this. But he leans in and latches his lips onto mine, sucking in a quick breath when our mouths meet again. Each time he kisses me, I'm just as blown away as the first time.

His fingers brush over my stomach, my panties. He moves them aside, pushing his digits onto my clit and rubbing slow circles that drive me insane. There's no time for taking things slow when he and I are both bursting at the seams with anticipation.

His soft, warm skin against mine is madness, especially when an impatient groan passes from his lips and onto mine. Sal's need is just as easily mine in the moment when his teeth capture my lower lip, his fingers leaving my clit to pull my panties down and get them out of the way.

But he's rushed and it shows when the ominous sound of fabric ripping silences our movements. Sal's eyes meet mine, a night sky housing a thousand shining stars. I'm almost distracted by his gaze, then he looks down, stiffening at the sight. 

I lick my lips, already guessing that he's ripped yet another pair of my prized lace underwear.

Sal's hair brushes over the sensitive skin of my ribs as he looks back up at me, the slight action making a chill dance along my spine. He tilts his head a bit apprehensively, unable to make eye contact with me for a moment. "You know I'll replace them," he rasps quietly, a panted breath following the promise.

Affection that shouldn't exist makes my heart swell for a minuscule second. Panic enters the forefront of my brain and pushes that feeling aside though, making way for blinding lust to hopefully replace what shall not be named. 

Despite how fucked I know I am-- and am about to be-- I relish in the way he meets my gaze, bashful and awaiting further instruction.

Yea, I know he'll replace them.

I swallow thickly, my eyes dancing along the lines and curves of his handsome face-- tracing every one of his pretty scars. Then I grab his perfect face, my fingers brushing along the rough skin of his jaw as I drag him down to me, smashing my lips onto his.

Sal resumes his previous endeavors the moment our mouths meet, his fingers brushing over my clit and dipping past my folds. His digits soak up my arousal, feeling just how much he affects me. And his mouth parts against mine, his tongue delving past my lips and sliding against mine, capturing the two of us in something lethal. We're in way over our heads.

My heart pounds against his chest as he pushes two fingers into me, curling them in such a delicious way that I moan into his mouth, moving a hand into his hair and gripping the strands to bring him impossibly closer to mine. 

The way he thrusts his fingers into me, rough and slow to push me past my limits. He knows exactly what it takes to make me cum. It's obvious with each calculated movement of his hands, his hips as he pushes me farther into the bed, purposefully pushing one of his knees against my thigh to keep my legs apart. 

The hand that isn't pleasuring me runs down my side, pausing at my waist. His fingers dig into my flesh, hold me close to him by pulling me against his front. His lips leave mine, leaving sloppy kisses along my jaw. "I bet you taste just as good as you feel," he murmurs huskily, breathless while thrusting his fingers into me again.

I hum, squeezing my eyes shut when his thumb brushes over my clit, all while his digits pound into me relentlessly. This lascivious man knows all the right words to say, all the right moves to make. I hate him for it.

"So why aren't you fucking me with your tongue then?" I risk my sanity to ask the question, burying my fingers in his hair as he bites his way down my neck regardless of what I want him to do. He feels good exactly where he is.

Sal lets out an amused huff, his breath fanning along the hollow of my throat. "Great question," he responds gruffly, pulling his fingers out of me. I groan at the loss of him, feeling empty up until he lifts himself off me and drops to his knees at the edge of the bed.

He wraps his strong hands around my bare thighs and yanks me against his mouth, his lips latching onto my clit and his tongue expertly teasing the bundle of nerves. Sal is filthy-- he's dirty and disgusting in the lewdest way and I greatly resent him for it because, of course, he only lightly licks me, flicks his tongue just the right way. He's going to drag this on for as long as he possibly can because he's Sal. He's Sal.

A little frustrated, erotic moan forces its way past my lips as I grip onto his hair again. I can't go on like this-- as good as it feels, it's not enough. I need more of him. "Sal, for fuck's sake," I beg, throwing my head back into his mattress.

He groans hungrily against my cunt, the sound traveling through my body. Oh, he's devilish and wears that badge well. 

Obliging me, Sal swipes his tongue between my folds and licks up every bit of me before he wraps his lips around my clit once more, sucking it into his mouth. 

I squeeze my eyes shut, throwing a hand over my mouth to keep quiet. I don't know how thin these walls are-- the last thing I want is for all our neighbors to find out we're fucking and inform the rest of The Faces.

As soon as my palm presses my lips shut, Sal's lithe fingers wrap around my wrist and wrench the limb away from my face. My eyes pop open to glance down at him, my body going taut as I behold the slight glare curving his brows and his tongue swiping up the length of my pussy. I can't even begin to describe how tightly he has me wrapped around his finger.

"Let them know," he purrs seductively, those bright eyes, framed by his dark lashes, just daring me to disregard him. His free hand squeezes my thigh, his painted nails digging into my flesh. "Let everyone know."

He releases my wrist, giving me the choice. With panting breaths, I keep my eyes on him and my arm beside my head. Sal seems to like that, peeling his gaze from mine to focus on his tongue work. That hand of his drops to my throat, his thumb swiping over my pulse and index finger mapping the line of my jaw. His grip, so gentle but predatory. Intimate but sadistic.

His mouth exploring all of what lies between my legs drives me crazy-- the feeling of his tongue inside me and his teeth gently nipping at my clit, the inside of my thighs. 

My legs tremble, and my heart pounds at a manic rhythm-- one that I know he can feel with his hand around my neck. He uses his other hand to hold on tighter to my thigh, keeping my legs spread for him to do his salacious work.

My sudden whimper and low moan to follow sounds throughout the otherwise quiet room-- Sal pauses his movements, noting my non-verbal cue and pulling his face away from my cunt. He's such a lovely sight and I hate him for always pulling away as soon as he realizes I'm close. I could kick him.

He must see the frustration on my face as he crawls over me, leaning on his haunches with my body spread below him. A tantalizing little grin tilts his lips, drawing my gaze to his mouth glistening with my arousal. I hold my breath as his tongue swipes over his bottom lip, his eyes darkening at the action. 

Sal uses that damned hand he has around my throat to pull me up to meet him, his mouth messily slanting against mine, allowing me to taste myself on his tongue. I moan into his mouth as his tongue slides against mine, over the back of my teeth, along the lining of my cheeks. He explores me all over again as if he could eat me up.

I take a shallow, shaky breath when he breaks our kiss, his lips just a hairsbreadth from mine. The inside of my thighs grows cold from his saliva and his lack of presence. 

"I want to feel you cum around my cock," he whispers huskily against my lips, nose brushing along my mask.

Swallowing thickly, I lift the hand he had pulled away from me earlier. I run the tips of my fingers over his jagged jaw, feeling the softness of his scarred skin, indulging in the way he devours me with those pretty eyes of his.

"You--" The word is hardly audible, hoarse. I try again. "There's way too much fabric on you for that to happen," I remind him, holding his captivating gaze.

He clicks his tongue, head tilting to the side just a bit as he considers our newfound problem. He doesn't want to let me go even to take his clothes off-- I see the dilemma in his eyes. 

With a little impatient sigh, his head drops down and one of his hands moves to his pants; undoing the button so he can kick them off the side of the bed behind him. 

I try to keep myself tethered to reality the moment I get a glimpse of the moon and stars tattoo peeking out from the waistband of his boxers. He's so hot, and then sometimes I have moments where I see the secrets bits of him-- the parts that make him so... adorable. Precious. No one would expect a man with such a hard exterior as himself to be hiding the moon and stars beneath his clothes. 

His boxers come off next, flung off somewhere to follow his pants. I swing my gaze upward, my thoughts heavy on respecting him even as my heart skips a couple beats when his bare thighs brush along mine. He climbs off me, tatted hands wrapped around my legs to pull me with his body.

We've come so far now-- I'm so afraid of losing it all. I'm almost more nervous than I am excited.

And Sal is an observant piece of shit so all my focus switches to him the moment he throws my legs over his shoulders and drags his hands up my thighs, over my ass, and along my sides. His thumbs rub comforting circles into my skin as he leans over between my legs, watching me until I look up at him.

"I saw you look away," he murmurs, cerulean eyes glancing between my own. "I think it's sweet that you considered my feelings," he clarifies. My chest throbs over his words-- how am I going to come back from this night?

He's so... serious. Not a single sign of discomfort or... distrust on his handsome, marred face. "You don't have to look away like I asked you to before." My breath catches in my throat. "It doesn't take a genius to know what I'm hiding. You already know," his voice grows soft as he leans upward, standing to his full height. He doesn't look back to me while he maneuvers his shirt around my legs, yanking it over his head to mix in with our clothes scattered around the rest of the room. "And I know you wouldn't shame me for it even if you didn't know." His gaze meets mine again, holding me captive. 

He stands before me, watching me for any sign to continue or to pause. His hands loosely wrapped around my calves, holding me close to him. I feel his hard, throbbing cock pressed against my ass. I wait for a moment, grounding myself in the present. He trusts me. I won't ruin everything by accident. He's given me permission, he's still ready to proceed.

I squirm in his hold, making him grit his teeth, his jaw feathering.

"Can I fuck you now that the sappy shit's done?" Sal asks, voice gruff and bothered. 

"Don't make me beg," I say in one breath, relishing in the sight of his hooded eyes raking over my body, his hair tickling my legs, and his fingers squeezing me even tighter. My legs hide most of his body, just his torso on display up until his skin meets mine.

Sal snorts, a smirk enveloping his lips. "But it sounds so pretty when you do it."

But he doesn't make me beg-- as he says those words, he pulls back just a bit to guide his dick between my folds. He sinks into me slowly, ravaging me with such a minuscule movement. And I have nothing to hold onto as he stretches out my cunt-- he's too far from me and gripping the sheets won't do enough to satisfy me. I cry out instead, huffing a breath that morphs into a groan as he bottoms out inside me.

He waits, lets me adjust to him. And I hate him. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. Because he's perfect and having him buried inside me compares to nothing else on this earth. I hate him so fucking much because he was so right-- I'll never be able to fuck anyone else without thinking of him. I don't even think I want to fuck anyone else.

I let the thought-- the reality-- of us sink in as he waits on me, his cock throbbing in me. 

It doesn't even occur to me until now that there's no condom involved, but I know he's going to be careful. He won't do anything unless I consent.

"Ready?" Sal whispers, his hands tightening around my legs. 

I nod, my lips parting as I watch him-- drown and die and come back to life as his sharp canines bite into his lower lip, accentuating the scars on his mouth and his slightly crooked teeth.

He pulls out, moving at the same excruciatingly slow pace he entered me with. When the tip of his dick is the only part of him still inside me, he snaps his hips, thrusting into me quick and hard. My body jolts, my fingers digging into the sheets below me. A shocked, pleasured groan spills past my lips, echoing around his room. 

Sal mimics the noise I released, a lovely little whimper passing from him soon after as he sets this new pace. He gathers my legs into his arms to yank me closer to him, shoving his cock into me. His head tilts forward, the strands of his cerulean hair shielding his face from me as his lips skim along my calves. 

He pushes in, out, in, out, quicker than I can fully comprehend and so deliciously that my entire body is tense with my oncoming release. He spent plenty of time building me up to this point with his fingers and tongue, I hate how close I am to doing exactly what he wants. I want to live in this moment so much longer. 

"Sal," I force his name past my lips, trying to warn him-- to make this last. Sweat drips down my temple, my body damp and fighting to hold on just a little longer.

His head snaps up, his thrusts pausing for a fraction of a moment as he investigates the reason for catching his attention. His lips are parted, sucking in desperate breaths as his dilated eye drinks up my body. "My ego's already inflated enough," he huffs, pressing his lips together once he decides to switch positions. He spreads my legs, still buried to the hilt inside of me, but now he's close enough for me to throw a hand up and bury it in his hair. 

He groans, shutting his eyes in ecstasy as I use my grip to tilt his head back, fascinated by his reaction. "You have to hold out a little longer," Sal rasps, his hands moving to my waist. His fingernails bite into my skin, pinning me to his body.

I can already tell he's going to make this exceptionally hard for me. The few seconds of pause have given me enough momentum to keep going. For now. That could change the moment he moves again.

He opens his eyes, silently requesting for me to let him continue his work. I loosen my grip on his hair and he leans forward immediately, pulling his cock from me only to push it back in again. He licks a stripe up my stomach, over my boobs before wrapping his lips around my nipple. 

My fingers tighten in his hair again, my entire body quivering beneath him as I'm immediately transported back to square one-- in the same situation that convinced me to warn him in the first place. 

His force isn't as brutal as it was moments ago, dragging this out for both of us-- especially for him. I could thank him but not when it has the opposite effect on me. Unlike his rough, quick thrusts, I can feel every inch of me slide into me, brush along my walls. It's sickening in the best way and I can hardly stand it. 

His teeth nip at the underside of my breasts, his arm wrapping around my back to press me to him. My back lifts off his bed and I push myself forward until he has me in his arms. He holds me against his chest, his free arm under my thighs as he pounds into me. 

Desperate, I brush his hair over his shoulder and latch onto the hilt of the dagger on his neck-- sucking, licking, and biting his skin that has made me ravenous for months.

Sal moans, his hand moving up my back to bury his fingers into the hair at the nap of my neck. His thrusts are sloppy-- whether from holding me up or from growing close to his own release, I can't tell. 

His teeth sink into the skin at the base of my neck, a swipe of his tongue soothing the delightful ache. He sucks on the flesh of my throat, leaving what'll be obvious marks in his wake as he pushes into me again and again. 

"Fuck," he breathes against my neck, his voice shaking. "Please cum."

What was that about an inflated ego? He's just as close to shattering as I am.

His gentle plea makes me shudder and squeeze my legs around him. Sal whimpers against my skin, fingers digging into the underside of my thighs. 

He moves away from my neck, using his grip on my hair to slam his lips onto mine. Our kisses have grown sloppier and more desperate throughout the night and I can't get enough of him, of his taste. He tastes so much like the peaches we shared earlier, and a hint of a cigarette he must have smoked before I got here. Before all of this got initiated. 

His lips on me and his tongue wrapping around mine makes me burst around his cock. I moan into his mouth, gripping onto his hair and my nails digging into his shoulder. I lose all grip on reality, relying only on his tightening hold on me as he lays us down again, a heavy breath passing from him and to me as he revels in the feeling of my cum on him. 

Sal breaks our kiss, pushing out a breath as he quickly pulls his dick out of me. "Won't cum in you," he grits out breathlessly. He squeezes his eyes shut, his jaw dropping to suck in a big, shuddering breath as he cums all over my stomach. 

I flinch at the warmth, still coming down from my own orgasm and feeling like I'm about to experience it all over again with him dripping down my waist. Everything happened so quickly, I feel like I can't breathe.

Sal can't either. He doesn't look up at me, just takes big, heaping breaths as he braces his hands on either side of me. 

We both take a couple moments to catch our breath. I stare up at his ceiling, try to get over the fact that he made the both of us cum so quickly. 

I glance down at him. He has one knee propped on the mattress between my legs. I faintly see the line of scars on the inside of his thigh and immediately avert my gaze. 

A shaky sigh falls from his lips, his face still hidden from me. "I can't stand you," he mutters breathlessly.

I watch him, trail my gaze over the length of his oddly colored hair. "Then why don't you have a seat?" I can't help the smartass response, an amused smirk quirking my lips.

Sal lifts his head, his sky blue eyes clashing with mine. 

He is not laughing.

At first, I'm petrified into stiffness, but then I see the way his eyes pull me apart. Traveling over my masked face, hovering at the curve of my jaw and the slope of my lips. 

My breath catches when he chews on the inside of his cheek just before he leans forward, capturing my lips with his own in a soft kiss. That breath is lost on me at the soft feel of his mouth moving slowly against mine.

But as soon as the kiss starts, he backs away. Sal looks down at my stomach, licks my saliva off his lips. Then he shakes his head and sighs as he takes a step away from the bed. "I really can't stand you," he says-- tone gentle, soft. Different.

He runs a tattooed hand through hair, his entire body bare to me as he gathers his wits. I watch him, get a good look at the tattoo on his hip that had been teasing me for months now, just hidden by his pants each time it peeked at me. 

I already knew it was a moon and stars pattern, but a quote lies just under it in all caps. 'Post tenebras spero lucem.'

I briefly glance at the scars on his thighs. They're littered all over the top and insides of his thighs, some on his hips. And my heart claws its way up my throat at the sight-- he's so beautiful, I just wish he hadn't hurt so much to do that to himself-- however long ago it happened. 

I swallow my emotions. He trusts me enough to see. He knows full well I'm watching him right now, and he's allowing me to.

Licking my lips, I'm momentarily reminded of the taste of him. It gives me a little kick of courage to ask, "What does the quote mean?" My voice is so soft, he must think I'm terrified right now.

He lifts his head to catch my gaze, eyebrows lifted just a bit as if to acknowledge my question. Then he looks down at his hip, at the tattoo.

Quietly, Sal clears his throat. "It's Latin-- translates to 'After darkness, I hope for light.'" He looks up at me again, remaining where he stands. No shame, no fear. The reminder that he trusts me so much hits me like a fucking brick. "After my mom died," he starts again and I watch his chest move with a deep breath. The action snatches my attention and I follow the vine of flowers over his arms. "My dad used to tell me this quote. Well, I think he told me and himself."

I blink, not expecting him to say something so meaningful. Part of me lights up with glee over the fact that he feels safe enough to share this though. "It's..." I think over my words. "It's a beautiful quote. I'm not surprised it stuck with you."

He shrugs noncommittally, but I know he's feeling something. I can't quite tell what emotions have him; he hides it well. But if he felt he could share, then there's something whirling around that pretty head of his.

Sal doesn't say anymore, but he turns around, heading off to a connected room-- bathroom. I purse my lips and stare straight at his ass. I half expect to find some kind of horrendous tat there, but I don't. I hold in a little giggle at the thought.

I hear cabinets open, close, then the sink run for a couple moments before shutting off. 

He walks back out of the bathroom--still completely naked, mind you-- and walks over to me with a wet wash rag. 

How considerate.

I don't dare sit up, lest any of his cum drips onto his bed. Sal leans over me, passing the rag over my stomach. My heart flutters a bit, not only over the fact that he's cleaning up his mess, but... the rag is warm. He used warm water. I wouldn't have even thought to do that.

"Sorry," he murmurs, tapping my hip for me to lift it. He cleans my sides, wiping parts of my back just in case.

I shake my head, hum. "It's okay," I softly tell him. "You made the right call."

Sal narrows his eyes, tongue in his cheek. "Not just about this," he mumbles. "I was... I was really awful to you leading up to this. I'm sorry."

My heart doesn't flutter this time-- I feel like I just got punched in the fucking stomach.

Feeling clean enough, I sit up, nearly head-butting him on my way up. Sal suddenly has no choice but to look into my eyes, his a bit wide at our proximity. He pulls the rag away from my stomach, holding it between us. 

"No," I whisper, glancing between his eyes. "I knew you weren't saying that because of me. You were trying so hard not to hurt me, I could tell. I wouldn't have fought you if I thought you were trying to harm me." I tilt my head to accentuate my point, growing a little shy. We're close and my words feel so intimate. "Don't apologize for that-- I know you didn't mean it."

He pinches his lips together, brows furrowing as he regards me closely, eyes glancing between mine. 

I don't say anymore, having made my thoughts clear. Sal backs away, squeezing the rag in his hand. "Thank you," he says quietly, never meeting my eyes again. "If you want, you can go take a shower." He purses his lips. "You kinda need it."

What the fuck? My own brows furrow as I lean onto my elbows to watch him. "Are you saying I stink?" I challenge him, happy to let our familiar banter build up again.

Sal rolls his eyes, smacks his lips-- desperately tries to hide his little grin. "I'm saying that I came all over your fucking stomach. If you let it sit there, whether I cleaned it off or not, then yes-- you're going to stink, jackass."

I run my tongue over the surface of my teeth, fighting off a smile of my own. "How charming," I say sarcastically, taking his offer of a shower either way. 

I pass him, walking to his bathroom. He doesn't make a single move toward me, neither do I. That's done for the night. 

His bathroom is damn beautiful-- dark grey walls and glossy black, tile floors. It's so... him. 

"Towels are in the cabinet beside the sink," Sal calls from his room just before I finish shutting the bathroom door. My eyes lock onto the cabinet immediately.

His shower is so lavish I nearly cum again. Like, it's that beautiful. It's that fancy. Not in a weird way-- I swear. His soaps smell so good and just like him. This feels really intimate too, but I'm not scared of this. I feel like a giddy school girl grinning over the fact I'm getting to use my crush's soap so I can smell just like him.

Oh, wait. It's a little more terrifying when I put it like that. 

I finish pretty quickly, a little excited to see Sal again-- damn him and this soul tie he's bound us with. But as I'm drying off with a really fluffy, crimson red towel that matches his guitar, I find myself faced with a couple issues.

I have no clothes. I'm going to walk into Sal's room in just a towel. That feels awkward. 

Secondly, what happens after this? Do I go home? Do we hang out longer-- no. I go home after this. That's the right thing to do for whatever the hell is going on with us. We fucked, now it's time to separate for the night. Either way, Ash and Larry are coming home in the morning. 

Okay, well, I can't just stand in the towel and hope Sal forgets I'm here. Because he won't. I'll handle each problem as they come.

I open the bathroom door, steam wafting into the bedroom as I step out with my towel wrapped around me.

Sal's on his haunches on one side of the room, fiddling with a guitar. He's just in a pair of sweatpants, his bare back on display for me. 

He turns his head over his shoulder to glance at me. He doesn't look for long. "Your clothes are on the bed," he says thoughtfully, clearly ultra-focused on whatever he's doing. "They were on the floor though so some of my clothes are next to yours. You can use them if you want."

What a deadly, unfair choice. What game is he playing?

This is a moral dilemma and I'm starting to sweat as my gaze flits between both piles of clothes. Oh, this man is evil.

"You're fucking weird."

I flinch and take a step forward when Sal's voice sounds right beside my ear. I turn to look at him, noting that he's standing just a foot away with a raised eyebrow. "Just pick a pair. I wouldn't have offered my clothes if I was uncomfortable with it. They're probably the better option considering I came on you, meaning it could've gotten on your clothes too. Your shirt was right beside my feet."

He's babbling a lot.

I narrow my eyes at him. "If you want me to wear your clothes, you could just say that." I present him with a challenge of my own. Two can play.

Sal doesn't bite though-- at least, I think. He levels me with a stare void of any identifiable emotion. And to my absolute horror, he says, "Okay. Then wear my clothes."

My eyes widen and I gape at him. What is this? Since when does he want that? Since when does he say these kinds of things with no hesitance?

Sal cracks an amused smile, snorting. "You better pray a manipulative man never sets his heart on you. You'd be fucked," he tells me, spinning on his heels and heading to the bathroom. "Just wear whatever you want, y/n. I'll be out soon."

Manipulative? What an ass. "So what does that say about you, then, huh?" I yell to him, crossing my arms over my chest. My version of a tantrum. He is so frustrating.

And yet I still grab his clothes.

As I change into his black shirt and a matching pair of black sweats, I'm met with silence that makes me fully aware of my surroundings. I'm in Sal's space.

His room is comfortable, perfectly encapsulates his persona. The dark, minimalist walls with little touches of each aspect of himself; the old band posters, photos of him and The Faces, a corner dedicated to sticky notes of ideas and song lyrics that may never actually make it into any of his work, broken and collectible guitar picks, his degrees. A plethora of guitars lined up on a wall speaks to one of his many hobbies. His huge PC and recording setup take over another section of ample space. Even his bedding speaks of him-- all black silk.

Every inch of his personal space is the making of an artist.

A troubled sigh pushes past my lips, followed by the shower suddenly turning on. I spare a glance to the closed bathroom door, then turn my attention back to the really comfy, warm looking bed of his. 

I have a lot to think about. A lot of things I coincidentally do not want to think about. Ever. At all-- or at least not right now. Given how exhausting and exciting this night has been, maybe a quick sit down would do me well. And if Sal has a problem with it, he can just kick me out like he tried to do earlier. Either way, his parting statement to me made it clear that he's expecting me to be here when he gets out of the shower.

With a petty little pep in my step, I lean onto my tiptoes and bound over to his bed, yanking back the duvet and hopping into his soft, comfy sheets that smell just like him. Oh, I cannot stand this man and the sweet scent he carries absolutely everywhere. This is definitely a mistake, but one I'm willing to make.

I wrap my arms around a fluffy pillow, tuck it under my chin, throw the blankets back on top of me, and shut my eyes. A contented hum works its way up my throat and I grin in satisfaction, squirming around a bit to achieve maximum comfort.

I'll just wait until he gets out of the shower. 

But where sleep normally takes hours to come by, it suddenly finds me quickly in the solace of Sal's bed. I feel like I've just shut my eyes when an irritated grunt startles me. I crack an eye open, my mask biting into my cheeks.

Sal's standing in front of me, his eyes wide, brows furrowed, and mouth clamped shut in astonishment. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he grumbles, lips hardly moving with his words.

"Napping," I rasp, burrowing further underneath his blankets. I've just been awoken from the throes of sleep-- I'm not taking the time to process any of this.

"Don't do that," he says hesitantly, though there's no harsh edge to his tone. Only confusion and apprehension.

A yawn threatens to burst past my lips. "Too late," I reply, feeling the lull of sleep begin to beckon me toward its embrace yet again.

My little nap consists of dreams of my mask being lifted off my face in the middle of an empty room with Sal, then cool hands on my cheeks and soft lips against mine. Somewhere in the mix is an image of my mother's angry face, her brows set in a glare directed my way and her jaw clenched tight. 

It's that last clip that jerks me out of a restless sleep.

I groggily open my eyes, looking at the muted gray walls of the room currently coveting me. My brows furrow for a fraction of second, taking in the dim light filtering in and the itching unfamiliarity of my surroundings. 

For just a moment, I wonder where I am. But then recent events invade my mind and I remember I'm in Sal's room-- holy shit, I seriously fell asleep in Sal's bed-- and how (as well as why) I'm in his room. 

First and foremost, I slap a hand onto my cheek, making sure my mask is still in its proper place. It is, the hard grooves scratching along my palm. I sigh in relief, taking a deep breath to calm my anxieties. 

I remain stock still from this moment onward as I think through my next actions. I'm not in just anyone's bed right now. This is Sal, and he's a character who's reactions are always up in the air. He certainly isn't going to be the person to snuggle up with me, but he isn't the type to let me sleep in his bed either. I'm confused and not sure what kind of tiptoeing I need to do next.

The room is near silent. I can only faintly hear the buzzing of his ceiling fan. No ticking of a clock, no snoring, no steps. It's almost complete, utter, discomforting silence which does nothing but fuel my anxieties. 

Sal must not be in bed. 

Is he in the living room working on more music? He must be doing something quietly. And if he really had a huge problem with me sleeping in his bed, he wouldn't have let me drift off in the first place right? 

Maybe he just moved out of his space to let me recuperate. I'm still exhausted, I doubt I've slept for even an hour.

I remain still and silent for a minute longer, feeling sure of myself and my decision. Then I slowly flip over.

And proceed to nearly jump out of my skin.

"Fuck!" I yelp, launching myself backward to the edge of the bed, beholding a very shirtless Sal with a book in his hands.

He turns to me with furrowed brows, his eyes regarding me cautiously. "The fuck's your problem?" he asks, his gaze meeting mine with a number of question marks reflected in their cerulean hues. 

I gulp as I watch him, wide-eyed. I wasn't expecting to see him in bed with me at all, but all of the other factors in this equation weren't even considered in the first place. I'm flabbergasted.

Sal's wearing glasses to read his book-- they make him look so precious. I'd never imagined him with glasses, but I really love the view. It gives him a softer edge, makes him seem a little more welcoming even with that glare he has on his face right now.

His bare chest is pale, contrasting against the dark ink on his arms and waist. His fingers are wrapped around a thick book, its pages decorated with painted... dragons?

I squint my eyes, getting a closer look at the cover. Fourth Wing.

I could fuck him again. All over again. A thousand times over. I know that book in his hands. He's only at the beginning of it.

I gulp over all the thoughts rampaging through my head. I've just woken up. I don't fucking understand anything.

Swiping a hand over my face, I sit up fully. "What time is it?" I ask hoarsely.

"6:30." 

I furrow my brows and look down at my hands. It was well past 8pm when I got here, so that means... "Fuck," I murmur. "I slept through the night."

"You slept through the night," Sal parrots.

"Larry and Ash are getting back at 9," I continue, ignoring him and waking up a little further as panic grips me whole. This is bad-- but, I have time. There's time. I don't need to freak out yet. 

I spin, rustling the sheets as I shoot a glare his way. He's focused on Fourth Wing again, his eyes gliding across the page. 

"Why didn't you wake me up?" I ask, mostly out of curiosity. It's completely unlike him to let me sleep in his bed, even more so for him to get into it with me.

With a quiet sigh, he shuts his book and looks up at me. The dark frames of his glasses make his blue eyes pop. I hate him. "Don't think I didn't try. Because I did try. You ignored me and like hell are you going to kick me out of my bed."

"So you get in it with me?" I ask exasperatedly. I don't fucking understand him.

He stares at me lazily, disinterestedly. He's only humoring me right now. "I've been buried in your pussy multiple times now and you're concerned about sleeping in a bed with me?"

I purse my lips. Fair point.

It just feels so intimate and I know he doesn't feel that way. I know it.

I let the conversation die. I won't say another word about it. I can't. 

Eventually, Sal gives up on getting a retort from me and opens up his book again.

My nose twitches as I sniff awkwardly. I have no idea what to do.

"What are you reading?" I blurt. Girl, shut the fuck up.

Sal's brows furrow momentarily, never looking up at me. "Does it matter?"

Oh, yes it does. That's a slutty little romantasy he's reading right there and I want to know when, where, and how this ended up in his hands.

"I'm just curious," I lie through my teeth, the words like butter.

He sighs through his nose. "Fourth Wing."

I narrow my eyes then lean toward him, desperate to see if he's met Xaden yet. 

"Do you have to be so close?" He grumbles-- but he doesn't move away.

My gaze flits over the page. It's so close to the first Xaden meeting, I can't tell if they've met yet or not. "You said it yourself that your dick has been in me enough times. How does proximity bother you?"

I couldn't give a crap about his frustration with me right now. 

That is, until he flips the page. 

"Wait," I murmur. "You're reading too fast."

"Well, what do you propose I do?" Sal scoffs, his gorgeous eyes snapping up to mine. "I'm not going to ask if you're ready for every page. Go get your own copy."

I glare at him. He's such an ass. So with a sarcastic smile, I tell him, "Read it out loud."

"Hell no," is his immediate rebuttal, turning his gaze back to the new page.

"Then I will," I joke. But I should probably get out of his hair and start gathering my things to get back to my apartment. I open my mouth to offer up some awkward parting.

Without warning, Sal pinches his lips together and throws an arm around me, his hand clamping over my mouth to shut me up. I'm frozen in shock, wondering if he really thought I was going to start reading the book.

"Shut up," he mumbles. "I'll read it."

I blink, breathless because of him again.

Hesitantly, his hand falls from my mouth and lays on my shoulder as he begins effortlessly reading the words on the page.

My heart flutters in my chest, his arm keeping me warm as he recites the page to me like he's read it a thousand time before and... maybe he has. 

I don't have the courage to stop him, nor do I want to. His voice is comforting-- deep and raspy and passionate as he flips through the pages. I'm roped into the story, listening to the way he enunciates each word.

And then the scene that started this all.

"'The black-haired rider snaps his gaze to mine, turning fully toward me, and my heart thunders for all the wrong reasons.'" Sal's hand lifts from my shoulder, wrapping a strand of my hair around his finger. I feel much like Violet in this moment, heart bleating in simultaneous panic and glee with my life in the hands of my enemy. And Sal is... he is definitely very distracted. "'A rebellion relic, curving in dips and swirls, starts at his bare left wrist, then disappears under his black uniform to appear again at his collar, where it stretches and swirls up his neck, stopping at his jawline.'"

"Sounds like you," I murmur, breaking my silence.

His finger stops twirling my hair, reminding him of our current situation. I fully expect him to kick me out this time. 

"Are you trying to risk getting caught by Ash and Larry?" He mumbles low, twirling my hair again.

I suck in a breath, squeezing my thighs together. "It's probably time for me to go home," I murmur softly, choosing to ignore his statement for a second time.

"Probably," Sal drawls, lifting his arm from around me. 

I move away immediately, leaping up from the bed and making instant eye contact with the folded pile of my clothes from last night. 

I couldn't care less as he watches me strip out of the clothes he lent me-- I'm desperate to get a break from my heart trying to literally leap out of my throat. Even if I really enjoy the feeling.

I get back into my clothes, fold up his and set them on the edge of his bed.

"Um," I mumble, hands in my pockets as I take one last glance around his room to make sure I haven't forgotten anything. "Thanks," I continue, a dash awkwardly. "See you."

I edge toward his bedroom door, sparing him one last glance.

He never lifts his eyes from his book to watch me go.

"See you, pretty girl."

---------

A/N:::::: AHHHHHH IT FEELS SO FUCKING GOOD TO BE BACK!!!

i really have tears in my eyes as i write this, i've missed all of you SO much. seeing your constant messages checking in and reminding me to stay strong have meant so much to me. from the bottom of my heart, thank you. writing is my passion, but i wouldn't be able to do it without all of you. i'd go through hell and back just so long as it meant i'd get to do this and meet all of you all over again.

i know i kept you all briefly updated on my fanfic writer's curse in the last few months LOL-- so first off, I broke up with my now ex and he and I were together for years. i am doing so, so well on my own though. i graduate college in about 5 months and i've never been so happy! the last little cherry on top has been getting to write again <3 during this hiatus though, i moved out of my house and am now in a new place. i have also been fighting with college-- it's been a rough semester. been teaching for eight hours twice a week then going to college classes in the same night-- so when i wasn't there, i was sleeping! i also have gotten sick a THOUSAND times... ugh. thought i'd DIE!!!

anyway, my plan is to write more over the break. this is my first day on winter break so i'd say i'm doing pretty damn good so far! i'd like to add more chapters here and hopefully FINALLY finish writing maybe today.

without further ado, welcome back my loves. i'm so happy to bask in your presence again.

as always, have a splendid morning/day/evening/night! i love you all SO much <333

[i-am-baechu]

Preview:

ᡣ𐭩 Title: Unread 

ᡣ𐭩 Paring: Class President! Kim Namjoon x Shy! Violinist! Reader 

ᡣ𐭩 Summary: Having a crush is hard especially on someone like Kim Namjoon. At least her letters can tell him how she feels without facing the sad reality. 

ᡣ𐭩 Rating: Explicit (18+) 

ᡣ𐭩 Genre: Fluff, romance, angst, smut, extremely shy reader, heartfelt and crush situation 

ᡣ𐭩 Part of The Legendary Seven

ᡣ𐭩 Playlist: Someday, Somewhere - Jolin Tsai 

“Two of The legendary seven are taken. The world is ending soon. I just know it. That’s why they're moving as fast as they can to be with someone. It’s interesting to see that Kim Taehyung is taken by someone like a fortune teller's daughter. It makes it more interesting that before they became exclusive, Taehyung was actually seeing Jennie. The other heartthrob of our lovely school. I know people can change overnight but this is a scientist's worst nightmare. An unexplained outcome. The new couple has been seen countless times at Boo Seungkwan games and they got together because of his help. His aunt’s party was one of the stepping stones they needed. What really got them together was Taehyung’s grandmother's party. The lovebirds have been together since. I do wonder if she knows about the relationship that Taehyung had with Jennie. I wouldn’t want to be with someone that held secrets from me. Especially when these secrets are about past affections with someone. Until then, Pen.” 

Y/N just like everyone else read the post on the website but unlike everyone, she didn’t digest the gossip in excitement. Everyone always has something to say regardless of status. An opinion is always there. Sometimes it's needed but other times it's unnecessary and cruel. This blog did just that but she’s guilty because every Friday she comes back to read. It wasn’t a good feeling but one must know what's going on. Even if it’s bad.

Y/N glanced through the music window and her eyes landed on Kim Namjoon. The way the sunset highlighted his features could make a painting jealous and the way he smiled could bring in ships on a dark night. She looked away and glanced down at her shoes as she felt her face get warm. She hate to stare and she knew it wasn’t ladylike but even she broke the rules when it was necessary. 

Just then the door opened and she looked up to see who it was. Her face brightened when she saw who it was, “Soo-Young.” 

Park Soo-Young was her older cousin by two years and her only friend in this big school. All her other friends graduated or weren't old enough to enter. Soo-Young always took care of her because of her timid nature. Soo-Young was everything Y/N wasn’t. A person that stands up for what she believes in while Y/N stays quiet and takes the abuse from others. 

Soo-Young glanced at her violin and smiled, “Practicing for the competition?”

Y/N nodded her head and glanced outside. Her eyes landed on Namjoon who was talking to Seokjin, “I made the piece myself.”

“Oh? What’s it about?”

“Unrequited love.”