#it might not always stay that way.
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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‘Death’
Angst idea. So something happens that causes Danny Fenton to be ‘fatally injured’. Like shot through the head, cut in half, spine ripped out, impaled kind of injured. Maybe attempting to save the day after being forced out of Phantom form. So as a Halfa, as long as his core remains undamaged, Danny can eventually heal from basically anything. (Yes it will hurt, but he’ll have Deadpool level of regeneration. Just a bit slower and more subtle.) So Danny won’t die. That’s how he’s survived his battles at Phantom (because some of those get violent. The problem? Danny Fenton’s ‘death’ was very public and he hasn’t told anyone he’s Phantom yet (besides Jazz, Tucker, and Sam.) He’s scared of revealing it to his parents because he still doesn’t know how they will react and worries it might even seem worse. Like that ‘Phantom’ was impersonating their dead son or something. So he has no choice but to let the world, his parents, his school, and his former bullies believe he’s dead.
#Danny Phantom#Danny Fenton#Kizzer55555 ideas#This could be DPxDC or stand alone#dpxdc#dcxdp#I was trying to think of an alternate way that Danny could no longer live with his parents that wasn’t bad fenton parents#nasty burger explosion. GIW. Or Vlad.#I thought of Danny possibiy dying and being a full ghost who had to live in the zone or something but I still wanted him to be a Halfa.#And I didn’t want him grieving his family but also not living there?#This whole thing was originally part of an idea where Danny ends up as Clockwork’s apprentice.#Either still going by Phantom or changing his name to Phantime.#And the original idea had Danny joining a dpxdc team as a sort of reserve member?#Like someone who they met but has to do all these tasks for Clockwork so he can’t stay for long and is always on the move#But they might establish some kind of communication to keep in touch? Or Danny just drops in every now and then to help with stuff.#Or just to say hi to his friends
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might be worth noting that tubbo got lore today because he made it canon he warped back from the boat.
i think this was confusing bc he wasn't sure initially how to play it (he is not a lore guy by trade we all know this), and waffled back and forth with it (with fun bits like "it's tuesday" or "it's a time rift"), but he definitely did make it canon.
he has the story: the boat didn't leave, he had his warpstone. he knew they would just steal him back, like they did the first time.
he has the reason: he desperately needed to see sunny before he left; couldn't sit idly by
and he made it clear that's what he wants to have happened. he told his chat to stop "-rp point"-ing him about it multiple times bc he's trying to make it canon (and told fit the same when he came back post-ghost bit).
he also asked sunny's admin whether she wanted their interactions to be filler or canon and she chose canon
plus he had a canon interaction with forever explaining it and asking him to watch over his daughter
and he and sunny built things and interacted with each other based specifically off the info he was kidnapped, that he will have to go, and that they both knew it was coming
so while you may have to ignore or recontextualize some of the goofier interactions when he initially came back (phil/etoiles/fit stuff esp), tubbo did come back, the code attack did happen, it's already been fit into the lore, and i don't doubt sunny is going to tell fit about it this week!!
#qsmp#qsmp tubbo#i think he is largely laying low out of fear of being taken back early also bc sunny doesn't want him far from home#uhh restless djing while she sleeps aside#it's obviously a little awkward but i think it's easy enough to imagine why pac (guy who responds so well to being kidnapped historically)#might be too stuck in his own head to even think of leaving the boat#etoiles i can speak to less but like a lot of things have to be explained away#bc it's a minecraft server and people aren't always on tubbo is one of the only people who'd even be on today usually anyway#but regardless tubbo made it clear what he wants his canon to be and the admins followed suit#i for one am excited for fit resistance lore with the codes acting up and not code-tamer etoiles to help#also what will he do with sunny he can't just leave her to do his tasks#and she typically stays on way longer than ramon usually does esp since he came bacl#but this is another post entirely i just want to see the man of secrets be kindergarten cop'd#that and vibrating about purg 2
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day 15: song lyrics!! except not really "lyrics" and mostly just the song. the drawing referenced is under the cut! :3
(also it's a day late but shhhh dont tell anyone)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6bc7ac92146a6832f0fb5507caa7f931/05186c09aea67d48-23/s540x810/d013f676524936dc521bab27c349f136692c63a1.jpg)
the song is "chimera" by deco*27 !!
#my art#eyestrain#eye strain#daycare attendant#eclipse#cringetober#this is extremely late!! and i stayed up way too late to finish it!!! so the next days might be a day behind !!!!#i've always wanted to draw them as this song though... so im happy#the lyrics themselves aren't fitting but i love the art from the video so much
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Our 2024 Summary of Summits!
14. May - 667m. Our regular starting summit every year.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6553f6d12a3548ac9ae785c0a5e8391b/e8fffe2d5d0cf200-ab/s540x810/824e2983f45cc2767f21883143392a83b40219de.jpg)
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8. June - 978m. Dogless, but still worth it for one of my favourite summits.
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19. July - 947m. Came back home after 5 hours without service to find the world in chaos (Crowdstrike incident)
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27. December - 667m. The latest in the year we've ever done this summit.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5e1ea938b40ab31d3bb29fdb429932c5/e8fffe2d5d0cf200-a1/s540x810/5718534527fb1b899a409966e0ffcff4808cfd62.jpg)
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And an honorable mention to the two summits I DNF'd this year. Both on my to-do list, and both the only summits I attempted this year that would have been new to me.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/3dd72fb6cd60e66ad575427ce4d91cde/e8fffe2d5d0cf200-cb/s640x960/4f62a1b718d0be738792a27516ea4a3e7bba3a21.jpg)
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3. August - 1318m. And 14. September - 1326m. One DNF due to weather. the other because I got sick and had to turn back two hours in. Massive bummer but we'll try again next summer.
#We'll do one of those DNFs for sure next year#the one that we cancelled because thunder was rolling in#the other one the rest of the group finished without me#and it's a brutal one#so idk if they'll want to do it with me next year#we shall see#I might do it alone and just have someone drop me off near the trailhead#that way i can set up camp by the lake below it and stay the night to do the summit itself the next day#always wanted to do that#that area is my favourite place on earth#can't wait for next year!#More hikes#more camping#more adventure <3
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I drew another Chara- living with the Dreemurrs edition
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5557696f75debba3d434cdae4c5e9da2/6a0be253853c1883-b5/s640x960/88e3e3ac78430a4f472cba32d69cbb5e1026b6d5.jpg)
"The King and Queen treated the human child as their own. The underground was filled with hope."
I don't like this as much as the last one but oh well... I ended up rambling a huge amount in the tag, so if you want details and headcanons about the actual drawing again, you'll have to look pretty far down this time, sorry (Also, I ran out of tags after a while. Tumblr is tired of me, lol. I might reblog this more tags later if I remember what I was going to say.)
#chara dreemurr#undertale#next up: the narrator#(I know that's not a title they receive in game like the other two but... just let me have this)#The future monarch of monsterkind. The prophecized saviour. One of the most important people in the underground. An angel apparently.#Chara puts all of their effort into appearing perfect in both appearance and manners. They're representing all the underground now and they#don't want to let down the king and queen! (Plus Chara's scared of getting kicked out or worse should they ever disappoint their family)#But... they're gonna save everyone! They're gonna make sure the monsters win this war! It's their destiny! The prophecy says so!#(... That's why all this happened to them. Chara sees themself as smarter more careful and maturer than their peers... because of the way#what a strange child...#hey look! I did a thing#my art#they were raised on the surface. They believe they have the skills to lead monsterkind to victory because of what they suffered.#Almost like they were trained or led to this moment. Like they don't have a choice. But this makes all their pain worth it right?#It was always for this fated grand purpose right? That's why they hate feeling robbed of their ''purpose''! Might be part of why they hate#determination! What do you mean you can defy fate? What do you mean things could've been different? That I didnt have to go through this?#that it wasn't written in the stars?... Oh shit I forgot to talk about the drawing!#The little bunches are supposed to look like monster ears. Especially with the monster soul locket. They're doing a curtsy which they alway#upon meeting someone new and introducing themself as the future monarch of monsterkind. Calling whoever they're talking to sir or ma'am.#Wanted to make it a curtsy/bow combination but I couldn't draw that. They have a little golden flower clip to pull their hair back and#they gave themself the belt and flouncy petticoat. They iron and polish everything they wear literally everytime they go outside.#Chara wears heeled boots whenever possible because they really hate being so short...they somehow think it makes them look weak.#The blushes and lashes are make-up! Chara wants to look perfect after all! They also really really hate their red spots/birthmarks and will#cover them up whenever possible...and they're wearing their crucifix again. Of course they are! Through it all they'll always keep#their faith. ....Until Chara finds themself a figurehead of an entirely new religion. I think they're...newly 11 here. (Second year in the#underground. 10 when they fell. 13 when they did.) Comfortable (comfortable as they can be) with their new family but not yet desperate#to get them out as soon as possible. Might not even be working with Gaster yet. But Asriel already gave Chara their locket.#I definitely think it was...a while before Chara really thought of returning the favour. Not that they don't utterly shower#Asriel and their parents in other gifts or affection! But they're just not one to make... promises of forever lightly. Especially because#Chara isn't really planning on staying around for a long time at all! They will break the barrier like prophecized then climb the mountain
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object permanence so bad I have to reread old messages for my brain to go ‘oh yeahhhh I care them’
#its WEIRD I think it’s the reason why I have a hard time expressing why I’m not always aware of people in my life#its not because they dont matter enough to make a mark or that I see them as less than real even though im scared it feels that way#it feels like repeating smth so basic like water is wet or the moon orbits the earth because I stopped seeing it in the daytime#actually this already happens when I write a reminder and then forget because it blurs into the background and my brain#stops registering it as something important without conscious effort#oh shit this might also be why I suck at staying in touch with high school friends and coworkers#especially bc I only know my coworkers for as long as I work with them so when the season is over they’re not present in my routine anymore#isnt it scary when the thought of smth becoming physical in your life means it could eventually be misplaced or forgotten#yapping#diary
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I can think of a lot of reasons why I like and have gotten attached to tsukasa more than any other fictional character and i think if i had to keep it simple (or else id be rambling for hours) id say
1. He’s so interesting. I usually pick up the extremely mischaracterized blonde characters anyways but he gets my brain working real hard. its almost 2am and i cant think straight but theres something about his duality that keeps me glued to him and the amount of Layers he has and how removing even one layer or completely ignoring how both his huge ego and kindness + selflessness coexist can really mess up your perception of him. There was something quite short i wrote about how both sides make him. Well. Him. back when his colofes dropped since i was so annoyed at the people Not getting it (while most never even read the STORIES 😁) anf ive been screaming this for a year now Please. Also the way his dream and being a good big brother go hand in hand have captured me. I really like fictional siblings and they fill something personal i miss and Looove looking at the roots of characters. Discovering where this and that and connecting events to what started their behaviors or helped their personality bloom. So seeing saki and toya play such an important role in his life keeps me HOOOKEDDD. I took the bait like tiny fish. Dont regret it. Never will. I like my fictional characters like layered cake. Thats basically how i see them. I had a yummy chocolate cake with so mant layers the other day 🤤 but anyways. I also really like when characters have to learn and grow as people after making really bad mistakes or being straight up assholes so it really took a while even after mainstory but once i got to see more of him with saki and read dazzling i was like. This is the guyyy. Youre mine now lets go. I dont like perfect characters but.. you see.. when characters who have (sometimes way too much) confidence and are dramatic yet are shown to truly be good people who enjoy making others happy�� alright.. now im listening… Sign me up…
But really he has almost everything I’ve ever looked for in a character. Starting with the fact that he’s a theatre kid. And blonde. Of course emu nene and rui + more fictional characters have made their way into my heart and ive gotten attached to them on very Very personal levels but when it comes to this Idiot who wants to be a star and reminds me of a dog its something that i dont even know how to explain sometimes. Why is he here? What are you doing inside of my head. Ill never have one solid answer because he takes up too much space in my mind and i become incoherent too often when talking about him.
2. Ignoring my first answer, He is ugly. My favorite punching bag. Cartoon character. Begins floating when he smells pie. I dont know anymore
3. he just like me fr (Which is terrible i dont like that)
#if any part of this doesnt make sense or isnt rightpleass correct me#This is what i mean by tsukasa makes me lose my mind#I really cannot think straight when it comes to this show freak#3. Is more of a complicated thing. I dont Actually hate relating to him im joking but uhh#idk how to explain this i mean theres still a Lot that makes us very VERY different uhh#i think sometimes its just a little bit of annoyance like Why him. Why is it always the egotistical blonde ones#also i wouldnt say relating to him as much as i do right now is that bad (although i am much more self aware than him so. Yeah sometimes#I get annoyed with myself as well) i think its just the way ive been treated like i AM him before because of how much i do#Like guys. Come on now i get seeing people as their pfps or fav characters but thats a bit much#And theres plenty of other characters i relate to#Anyways ignoring rant in tags#I need to sleep. Right now. I cant believe i stayed up just to talk about little freak Tsukasa Tenma#ramble#rant#might delete later#tsukasa tenma#tenma tsukasa#wxs tsukasa#pjsk#prsk#project sekai#idk what im yapping about#yapping#tsukasa pjsk#tsukasa#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#shouldve kept this in drafts AAHH!!!!!
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#saw a fourum post about this and i mean i was always under the assumption that he did#but londo definitely can bluff#and some people went into the fact that refa could just go to the doctor and get medical treatment for it but ehhhh#it might be untracable like the poison used to kill cartagia#as much as i think about that instance i havent really thoight about it like this before#so im curious to see what yall think#but also londo stays lying to refa#which is why he brought a telepath on the station with him#londo is incredibly smart and a great schemer so this could honestly go either way and he could get away with it#like he takes so many risks. just one little mistake in his rock cried out plan couldve thrown the whole thing away#if refa didnt go to narn if vir didnt comply etc#so honestly im not sure what i think#there isnt much canonical evidence that he was bluffing because we as the audience just have to take what he says at face value#but there also isnt exactly evidence that proves he WASNT lying either..#so its all up to interpretation and headcanon atp#babylon 5#i do think he did i just also thjnk its fun to speculate
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i keep thinking about a phandom book club, but i have no idea how to go about organizing it or if anyone would be interested or even where to host it
alternatively is there already a phandom book club i could join? because i would love that
#tbh my first thought is TheStoryGraph bc they have group/buddy reads but idk if anyone else uses that much#there's discord (which im not super familiar with even though i have used it)#or making a separate community here#or i guess fable but i truly dont know how anything works over there#plus like... yes there's a few names i can think of who might be in but overall idk!#and i dont want to put pressure on anybody either#i am terrible at reaching out and staying in contact and all that. always have been. even though i think about people all the time#im just not very good socially and im so worried about coming across a certain way or saying the wrong thing#so more often i keep to myself and i think sometimes i come across like i dont care or standoffish or something#but that's not it. i care so much i just get scared that it's too much or in the wrong ways.#im better at hiding but i know i need to get over it. its just hard.#(and i tell myself you know..#'not feeling lonely i just like being alone' but it's less true than i like to think it is#ANYWAY feelings dump aside i think a book club would be fun. i just dont know how to go about it.#ks talks
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I'm feeling so normal about my childhood right now (it's almost 11pm and all I've ever wanted is to be taken care of)
#i think theres a room inside of me that will always be empty#it holds space for something that i will never get because its too late#so instead ill go into the room and lay on the floor and imagine all the different ways it could be filled#and then ill get up and my body will have left a silhouette in the dust#and ill leave#and ill close the door behind me#and slolwy the image of me will fade and the room will stay quiet while the crickets chirp outside#and it will stay empty#and i might forget about it sometimes when im decorating the rest of the house#but that room will always be there#just behind the wall#personal
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He’s so Regular People by Moon Walker coded it’s actually devastating
#when I catch you Charles when I catch you#‘The children never talk We've finally shut them up Always talking over those they only should obey’#‘The children think too much They've hardly a fear of god Always asking questions they should only wish away’#‘As they've gotten older they can hardly stay awake’#‘We might be all The same But you'll be better off this way’#this one fucking destroys me ->#‘I'm dying to meet you As I really am But trying to please you Just fucks with my head’#‘I've waited my whole life To welcome you in You don't want to lay down But you made the bed’#this one is making me gnaw at the bars of my enclosure ->#‘The children never call How could they just cut us off?’#‘I guess that's twenty years we should have never gave away People shouldn't have to change’#I love you#scott summers#cyclops#x men comics#x men
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In the city!
Commission for missyuniverse_ for her fanfic at Wattpad! ( account: Kittens_escapism or juanitasuniverse ) 😊😊😊
#connverse#Connie Maheswaran#Steven Quartz Universe#SU#Those guys I googled for references of the peeps in the background#also random references for the building and such#I used a gaussian blur to blur the background and I'm thinking now I might or should find a different way to blur my background. 🤔#It was an odd experience drawing his vest because I used a real life reference at first and it looked so off. Then I used a drawing referenc#e and it instantly fixed it? So. like. I don't always trust real life reference after that.#I'm crying I really really wish I'll learn to draw facial hair some day.#I mean the client described that he only unintentionally grew stubbles because he got busy with something. but still#Why is my laptop already laggy I already restarted this and Nothing else but Chrome and Medibang is opened. -_-#I took so long to do the background. lol but I'd rather it stay blurred because of how it turned out.#Trust me it looked way bettered blurred. haha#Sorry.. Connie is suppose to be wearing her hair in a cute high ponytail with a small braid added little star accessories.#I'm not sure but I'm hoping the ponytail is still discernable#adult connverse#Okay I did spend this way too long in general but it was still fun drawing it#my shiz#commissioned work
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we dont talk enough abt how Nandor actually wanted Guillermo to be a vampire the whole time 😔
#wwdits#what we do in the shadows#nandermo#guillermo de la cruz#nandor the relentless#how every time guillermo asked abt it nandor skirted it with a grimace b/c what is he supposed to say?#if he confronts the issue it may break the tentative connection he and guillermo have#and guillermo would leave#kinda great that the show keeps the actor's motivation intact even with the revelation that nandor always loved and wanted guillermo turned#but guillermo not being 'ready'#because it still means he's afraid of guillermo leaving if they ever have to confront that guillermo isn't like them in that way#that they might actually be too different to stay friends
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how often do you think nikolai uses his skill to steal things?
depends on whether or not you consider misplacing items the same as stealing them (he only borrowed that telephone pole, it’s not his fault that things got so heated he didn’t get a chance to put it back… there’s so many of them around anyway, who’s gonna miss one? he even left it in a public place, if the city really wants it back so badly, they can send someone out there to get it). he certainly uses it to borrow things without asking and leave them in increasingly absurd places for the owner to find (but dos, why wouldn’t laptop go in the fridge? you’ve been complaining about the cpu overheating all week! the shampoo bottle looks way less lonely between the condiments too. where’s the mouthwash, you ask? well… smash cut to fukuchi experiencing a whole new flavour of hangover). stealing things to keep though? not sure about that.
stealing is such a boring crime anyway, especially if you have the ultimate yoinking device. i think if fyodor puts him up to a (crucial, important, don’t-fuck-it-up-under-any-circumstances) task he will make use of it so as to not unnecessarily sacrifice efficiency, but otherwise if he wants to acquire things for the low low price of free, he’ll do it by way of stupidly elaborate bamboozlements... he'll trick you into giving him what he wants, no criminal activity needed. u know how clowns sometimes involve audience members, make them go along with stupid bits and such? kind of like that. he’s charismatic, confident, dramatic. he's an actor. he has your wallet, your phone and your firstborn before you realize he’s just fucking with you.
#bsd nikolai#i guess it also depends on what you headcanon his backstory to be#in canon universe i can see him living a nomadic lifestyle before meeting fyodor#keep in mind i haven’t looked at the last like 3 chapters and only skimmed the ones before#so if there were any major nikolai reveals that contradict that… i don’t know send me to the fucking gulag‚ i’m a fake fan#i imagine he might have been a performer#not necessarily always at a circus‚ but never in the same place for long#he might stay with a theatre troop for a few months and then sneak away to the circus for a week or three#nikolai is the only character i ever had a specific voice headcanon for before he had his anime debut#so i personally also enjoy the idea of him joining bands and musical theatre casts#that’s not the point tho#the point is he’s flighty and all over the place#he travels light‚ doesn’t need much and will trick and charm his way into free meals if needed#though he may not often use his skill to steal‚ he WILL use it to cheat at the poker table#(the slot machines‚ the russian roulette round‚ whatever comes up)#he leaves the establishment with half a year’s rent and nobody ever figures out how he did it#am i off-topic enough yet? do i need to stop?#howling from the shadow realm
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just a quick ask to tell u it makes me super happy seeing the detail u go into when pointing out stuff u like about other people's art of ur ocs :3 it's so rare to see but it's so so motivating!! <3
Thank you! I don't take any interest for my art for granted, and if someone goes through the trouble of drawing my characters for me, I feel like trying to write a proper response is the least I can do. For a visually oriented person, receiving gift/fan art is a huge deal, it means someone considered my goobers worth their time and effort, they've probably been thinking about them more than a little and found them inspiring in a way or another, and I find that terribly flattering. It's extremely fun and interesting to see other people's takes on them. And I've drawn stuff for people as well, I know how nice and rewarding it feels to receive a response that is longer than a word or two. Positive comments like that can linger in people's minds for a long time, at least for me they do.
#this comes with a big serious disadvantage though#it often takes me a long time to write that response#my social batteries are extremely small and a lot of the time by the time I go online I feel too worn out to engage with people properly#I'm autistic anxious and severely depressed my spoons are in short supply at the best of times#I've always had really hard time putting my thoughts into words in a way that I find satisfactory#so I keep putting off reblogging gift art#because most of the time my brain is too smushed to formulate that meaningful comment I want to give#maybe that sounds dumb and fake#but this is something I've struggled with for years and I feel extremely guilty for keeping people waiting like that#often weeks sometimes months even#and potentially making them feel underappreciated and unnoticed#I'm also genuinely very scatterbrained and unorganized and I miss and forget things I'm supposed to do all the time#not to mention that I tend to have trouble keeping track of my mentions and dms and asks I'm only one person#so if you've ever drawn something for me and I didn't/haven't responded yet#please know it's not personal it's entirely my fault I'm kind of a mess#and chances are I'm still very much attempting to get back to you#feel free to remind me if you feel like I might have not noticed your post I really don't mind at all it often helps me a lot#and please if you can don't delete the post even if it seems like I didn't see it#because again sometimes it takes me a long time to respond#thank you to everyone who has stayed endlessly patient with me though I appreciate it#sorry this spiraled into a list of apologies and excuses this is actually something that bothers me a lot#because it's largely a mental health thing but easily comes off as ungratefulness#I'm trying to work on that#answered#anonymous
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