#in canon universe i can see him living a nomadic lifestyle before meeting fyodor

[destructive-delight]

how often do you think nikolai uses his skill to steal things?

depends on whether or not you consider misplacing items the same as stealing them (he only borrowed that telephone pole, it’s not his fault that things got so heated he didn’t get a chance to put it back… there’s so many of them around anyway, who’s gonna miss one? he even left it in a public place, if the city really wants it back so badly, they can send someone out there to get it). he certainly uses it to borrow things without asking and leave them in increasingly absurd places for the owner to find (but dos, why wouldn’t laptop go in the fridge? you’ve been complaining about the cpu overheating all week! the shampoo bottle looks way less lonely between the condiments too. where’s the mouthwash, you ask? well… smash cut to fukuchi experiencing a whole new flavour of hangover). stealing things to keep though? not sure about that.

stealing is such a boring crime anyway, especially if you have the ultimate yoinking device. i think if fyodor puts him up to a (crucial, important, don’t-fuck-it-up-under-any-circumstances) task he will make use of it so as to not unnecessarily sacrifice efficiency, but otherwise if he wants to acquire things for the low low price of free, he’ll do it by way of stupidly elaborate bamboozlements... he'll trick you into giving him what he wants, no criminal activity needed. u know how clowns sometimes involve audience members, make them go along with stupid bits and such? kind of like that. he’s charismatic, confident, dramatic. he's an actor. he has your wallet, your phone and your firstborn before you realize he’s just fucking with you.