#it might be too dark in this room
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victim of capitalism #2
#elevator hitch#elevator hitch coworker#studio investigrave#elevator hitch fanart#hes such a loser#i love him and his boyfriend#oplific art#MIGHT DO NORMAL GUY NEXT#lord i need to make backgrounds that arent white from now on the brightness is killing me#most of the time im too lazy to make a bg so might just have to cope with being blinded whenever i look through these in the darkness of my#room
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“-and that's why I ain't allowed in Pier Point no more!” Boothill throws his head back and cackles, somehow completely comfortable on the bare floor of the archives. He's the very picture of ease, his arms behind his head, his legs bent and crossed.
Dan Heng barely looks up from his notebook, not much surprises him anymore after the first few tales of lawless exploits. “So they really have that many laws and restrictions there.”
“And prob’ly a few more now that I've been through there! Heck, ya think they named any after me? I'm hopin’ so.” There's so much smug cockiness seeping through his voice Dan Heng could bottle it.
Silence settles in, stretches out. Dan Heng doodles pensive circles in the corner of his page.
He shouldn't ask. It's a private matter. It's none of his business. He of all people should know-
Something pokes his shoe, and when he looks up, Boothill has stretched one arm up to tap metallic fingertips against his foot. “Ain't like ya to hesitate.” With his head tipped back on the tiles and gazing at him upside down, Boothill's hair is out of his face and spooling out all over the floor, offering a rare view of his right side. His right eye is sealed over with a pitch-black patch, stark against his skin. Dan Heng wonders what he looks like behind it. “C'mon, then, out with it. Spill the beans, brother, just say it.”
“What does ‘Boothill’ mean?”
The man blinks at him, the crosshair in his cybernetic left eye flickering. Dan Heng shifts, smooths out his long coat. “I tried to look it up once. It's not in any database as a name...other than your wanted posters.” There's a thread beginning to fray near the hem, he should sew it up. “I couldn't find it anywhere.”
He nearly takes it back, but- “Heh, ya that curious about me, darlin’?”
Dan Heng quickly levels his face into the most impassive, nonplussed expression he can muster, but Boothill has already turned away, head pillowed on his arms and face once again turned to the ceiling.
“But nah, ya wouldn't. Hah, like they'd allow any record of the language, fudgeheads.” One arm sweeps around blindly until it finds the edge of Boothill's hat, sets it back where it belongs on his head. Dan Heng shuffles around, scoots a little closer, but the brim is pulled too low to see his eyes anymore.
“It's ‘cause it's not a name. It's a noun.” All that's visible of his face is a sharp grin, pulled too tight at the edges.
“It's my people's word for a grave.”
Dan Heng's pencil stops.
“It's the kinda grave fer someone who died with their boots on. If ya catch my drift there.” Boothill's foot starts to bounce. “There was a war, and it got reeeeeal intense, yup. Folks started droppin’ like flies, ‘n’ there was bodies faster'n what we could bury ‘em.” A cooling fan kicks on somewhere. Dan Heng is pretty sure it's not any of the Express equipment.
“We lost some real good people there, real good. Mighty shame.” His hidden Vidyadhara ears detect a quiet metallic click, a whir, pressurized gas. Boothill's next words waft steam from his angry circuits into the air. “When I left, I decided to leave my name there, too. Didn't feel right otherwise. The life I lead now is a whole ‘nother existence.” And then Boothill turns his head, raises his hat, and Dan Heng suddenly feels pinned dead center, caught in that crosshair.
“Ya know what I mean, don'tcha?”
Dan Heng swallows.
Does Boothill know? Who he is and who came before him? There had been that moment in the Penacony Grand Theater, after he activated the Jade Abacus… Dan Heng had tried to shoo him out, keep him from seeing anything, but Boothill has the astounding ability to turn up exactly wherever people are trying to keep him away from.
If he did see, does he actually understand it? Does he know what a High Elder is? Does he know about the sedition of Imbibitor Lunae, the transmutation arcanum, everything Dan Feng had done and Dan Heng was punished for?
He doesn't want to explain it all. Not now. Possibly not ever, truth be told.
And it's not the same as Boothill leaving behind his old identity when whatever event happened that caused him to leave home. Not really. But…
But so far, Boothill has slid so easily into Dan Heng’s routine. His presence never feels like an intrusion. He's already figured out what he can push and when to back down. And even Dan Heng finds himself able to roll with whatever punches Boothill throws with baffling ease. They share too much in their methods and ideologies, and sometimes Dan Heng knows what Boothill will do seemingly before even Boothill himself knows.
“...Tell me about Talia and the Nailscrap Town.” Boothill must know he's avoiding the topic. He must. But the man just throws his head back and cackles, melting easily back into what they had been doing before, as he speaks fondly of a planet that Dan Heng has never visited.
Not today. But.
Dan Heng inches just a little closer, just enough to nudge his foot against a metal leg. Boothill doesn't pull away.
Maybe someday.
#honkai star rail#henghill#boothill#dan heng#hsr#bootheng#hsr boothill#hsr dan heng#BEHOLD. my brainrot#Aeragan-Epharshel and The Sedition of Imbibitor Lunae not as things they feel they have to tell each other#(bc what is most important is who they both are TODAY and what they are like NOW)#like they aren't maliciously hiding anything from each other and neither thinks so of the other#their pasts are just something they CAN share to deepen the bond and know each other better#things like Boothill better understanding why Dan Heng sleeps in a room lit 24/7 by electronics if he knows he grew up in a dark prison cell#or Dan Heng better understanding Boothill’s motivations & what kinda life he might want post-revenge if he knows how Aeragan-Epharshel was#I think it's only thanks to the Express Crew that Dan Heng can even begin to think about telling someone All Of That#he has people who love him and it has made such a huge huge difference for him ♡#meanwhile in in-game texts Boothill tends to gloss over the loss of his home. I don't think he's super keen to talk about it much either.#I let him say a little more about it here since he and Dan Heng had a lot more time together to get comfortable with each other in canon.#the thing with his eye is based off a voiceline of his but isn't canon from Hoyo or anything#but it's canon to ME#same with things like him having to literally let off steam when he gets pissed haha#I need to just make a post about all my weird robot body Boothill hcs I love cyborgs woohoo#that and him & Anger I have a lot of feelings about that too ♡#also. wireplay NZMZMXMMDDM
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having sensory problems is tough because how to i tell my stepdad that i want to throw a brick at him for having a snack in the same room as me-
#i had to go to my room i swear to god#the scrape of the fork the fucking mouth sounds IM A BITCH NOW SORRY#one wrong noise and i become an Asshole#internally. i will not outwardly express any of this#he's such a good person! he does not deserve the ire i feel when he makes The Wrong Noises which happens Quite Frequently!#now he's playing with the dog and i wanna throw TWO bricks at him#shutupshutupshutup theres too many noises at once im going to MAIM something#the tv the microwave the dog the fire the the the#punching something in my head...#absolutely unprompted#Man Don't You Have A Job To Go To Or Something. At *checks cat* Nine At Night#i might just. walk out into the dark woods for a bit. let the nonexistent wolves have me#maybe mothman will be there....#IF HE BOOPS THE DOG ONE MORE TIME-#im evil now. im in my evil arc. im a hater. my heart burns with rage
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out of curiosity, why is the alone at night rule there? is the place that they’re staying not secure, or is it more of an emotional support time deal?
Safety in numbers, and you're less likely to let imagination run wild when you have a solid support next to you
#Basically two options:#1: If there was something sinister and spooky going on you'll want a buddy#No one wants to be alone in a cold dark room thinking there might be something lurking#2: they're just still getting over the Total Brain Rewiring 2 Electric Boogaloo and it's best to have someone keeping an eye out#Much easier to spiral into a bad place when alone and unsure what's real#In both cases: it's pretty vital they take care of their mental state lest someone relapse into murder mode#So sleep buddies it is. You can still hide away in the daytime or put up like a divider#Just don't wander too far when you think you heard a suspicious noise coming from somewhere conveniently secluded#Well that's just my thoughts lol. Projecting my sleepy problems#Not an art
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I think painted paneling looks good idk why people hating..
Looks awesome bitch..
#especially first 2 where there is still wood showing in something else#I might be biased bc when I was 10 my grandpa painted his paneling a light blue#my parents hated it but I think it’s beautiful.. especially if a room is too dark naturally to also have dark paneling..
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i want to put link in isat. im sure hed do fine. the heros spirit endures
#my post#i was gonna say like. 'probably not the worst thing the heros spirit has endured.' but actually#man. idk. ppl like to say majoras mask is super dark. i think bc ur constantly faced with tragedy in a very direct way#zelda is usually slightly less in your face abt that stuff. mm crosses the line for that juust enough for it to be Particularly Notable#loz generally isnt afraid to address the Horrors. or at least acknowledge them#i dont mean this in a 'mm is darkest zelda' or whatever kind of way. (see jacob gellers video 'every zelda is the dsrkest zelda')#i mean it as like. mm is just louder about it#yknow. but is mm is speaking loudly then. if u put isat next to loz then it would drown mm out quite easily#in large part bc the story is just told differently#the characters are much more expressive in every way. bc the story is being told through expression#whereas loz tells stories specifically via player action#if that makes sense?#loz focuses on the journey. isat focuses on how the journey feels#not to mention links permanent 😶. which definitely influences this#honestly link as a general character (tho especially botw link) is very similar to siffrin. im not gonna try to put that into words rn but#maybe another time#anyways. if isat were told more like a zelda game i think it would be along mm and botw#i say those 2 specifically bc time loop and death and loss. lol#if the reverse were true. if loz ganes were told more like isat. then god dude i dunno#i might go through the plots of each and measure out how much i think the bitch(link) is Going Through It sometime#not rn. but sometime#initial gut thoughts tho. i think probably oot sksw la andd. possibly ww. wojld have similar emotional impact#sksw especially. have you seen his face when he sees zelda in the crystal thing. god#id say botw too but tbh. i kind of think its emotional impact is best as is.#it leaves itself a lot of room to breathe. you can rlly like. think abt it.#man these tags are off topic from the original post. eh its my post who care
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i think more loz dungeons should’ve done what the ice ruins did and just give you the boss key right out the gate as proof of how fucked you are
#ive been blowing right through these dungeons tbh. but the ice ruins. man the ice ruins#salty talks#i love how each dungeon has smth of a mini gimmick or otherwise a little smth to shake things up#the dark palace’s uh. darkness. turtle rock being compact but equally as dense (with the two outdoors bits)#skulls woods in general having you find different ways in from outside and the thieves den’s whole second half#and the desert palace being half in hyrule and half in lorule and ye old water level control in the swamp palace#good shit. the ice ruins still put a bit of a sense of dread in me when i get that big key before anything else#oh man going through it too it might also be the only one that doesnt show you the full room layout#ofc bc theres a good chunk thats outdoor platforming so it doesnt count as room layout
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I've seen people talk about how they love canceling plans but I don't get that. I hate canceling plans because then I feel so bad. Like aww I couldn't come and now I've made them feel disappointed and I've ruined the night I hope they don't hate me :(
#i will feel sick or smthg and cancel For The Good Of My Health#and The Good Of My Health is like wow you just ruined everything you messed up their plans#they probably think you actually hate them and only accepted the invitation to be polite and now you're cancelling last minute#and wow Wow look at this now you're feeling better! all of a sudden! funny how that works! you faker#anyway if overthinking was a person i think i would stab it until it wasn't moving and slit its throat for good measure#mettygetspersonal#i'm having my First Migraine#and i feel a bit of relief after cancelling but it might be because im finally in a dark room and everything is mostly quiet#that could factor into it too. probably.#vent#overthinking
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I love crawling out of the depths, opening up tumblr, and seeing your art. I love it.
it is quite interesting how social media can fall to the wayside, and people on the internet can just disappear forever if they really wanted to! I admit I struggle to keep up with "public accounts", they are uniquely stressful and I solute your hibernating tenacity. always lovely to see you resurface regardless, thank you very much for the lovely compliment...
I will say in case any of my dear followers were wondering where i've gone for the past month and a half, for weeks i've been pondering how to even broach the enormity of the topic that is: I made the mistake of thinking about my most favorite character for more than 2 minutes in one sitting. I intentionally go out of my way to avoid this and have many strategies to evade this occurring because every time I do enter a sort of hermetically sealed mental chamber where it's just me and him and his life and I begin to ignore all points of previously established social contact and also my health indefinitely. It's difficult to convey the emotional experience of this or its psychic magnitude. and it's hard to say "guys i really love this character!" because that's just words. you can't see it. the 10 years of obsessively thinking about some guy so intensely on&off cyclically until you've made 20 different worlds he's living in... how does one convey the depth of these without artistically depicting them as you see them to be...? i am trying to figure it out. currently planning a longform comic for my favorite and several smaller comics for others, but logically an individual can understand this takes a while... he and I have had multiple rendezvous over the past decade and I wish I had more "historical" art to show but for many of these years I have been a bit too physically disabled to draw, the past several weeks have been spent attempting to recreate his ideal form as he exists in my head. he is starting to come around!
I typed up three separate disquisitions last month to try and explain my feelings on him and none of them felt like the proper vessel to communicate this concept. which is likely for the best. the obvious answer is "just draw him". fine with this being the case, difficult when I have so many drawing ideas I'm now sitting on 100+ works in progress and they just keep accumulating since my brain generates these like an old laptop you leave in the corner of your room to mine bitcoin. in a way I'm content with this being a very "personal" experience thus far, shared with me and those in my inner social circle (really cannot emphasize to my readers enough how fandom can poison your constitution without self-checked moderation). however... I yearn to meet others who are as passionately involved with him as I am, because I think we could coalesce our ideas, and passion, into something beautiful...
^dio brando
#lucy art#might seem humorous to you that I get so emotional over dio brando every day that I get nauseated and sometimes cry. but tis my atlas#i could not tell you if jojo is actually good by the way outside of sbr which is the best part objectively#dio relapses occur ~once every 2 years and whenever they do i reread dio the invader thirty times and nothing else in the series#hes the only character ive ever bought merchandise for..I hated history until I met him now i can't read any kind of fiction but historical#sorry by the way to use your innocuous compliment as an excuse to talk about dio. wish it was not contrarian to my nature to just make#''posts'' publicly unprompted. i prefer to journal... i don't know how active I will be after this post even. will likely just go back to#sitting with him in a dark room until I finish any/all of the projects I've started#which is mildly unfortunate since I love to collaborate in the marketplace of ideas... my compatriots are out there somewhere#jojo is more popular than it was ''back in my day'' i don't know maybe some of you guys like it. asks always welcome lord knows#I've already pestered my friends with thousands of words about him already over this past month#sidenote: sasha askblog is not abandoned + never will be... it is a fun side project. like many things in life. much planned for him too
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Nothing beats being introduced to Doki Doki Literature Club as laying on the couch of a stranger's house with a fever, dogsitting two nervous dogs that kept running into dark hallways and whining while you watch a girl hang from her bedroom's ceiling on their giant television
#ddlc#suicide mention#i watched pewdiepie play it when it came out and boy it was an experience#pewdiepie#the house was creepy af too#not a big fan of sitting in a very dark house with unknown number of rooms while the dogs keep running around#i had to get up and get them back to the living room with me bcs theyre both so anxious#meanwhile pewdie is watching sayori hang in her bedroom and i had a pretty high fever#it was all so surreal#altho one of my favorite moments was him trying to voice sayoris breakdown in that goofy ass voice he gave her and regretting every second#speaking of i saw that he played the new game for members#i was gonna play it myself but i might just watch him play it first for the spooky month
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I know this has been ragged on a million times but I gotta
#also like. the patriars are just?? there???#they see a grimy travelworn group of adventurers crash the archduke's coronation#and instead of kicking them out he goes 'oh heyyyyy!! ☺️☺️☺️ long time no see~ 🥰 let me update you on my - sorry - *our* evil plan!! 🤭🤭“#and openly reveals one of the adventurers as a fucking bhaalspawn?!#he's not speaking quietly or anything#there's a very large tiefling who is on fire and getting angrier by the second so clearly SOMETHING is up#the bhaalspawn in question looks fucking pissed#did they just want the tea or#i guess it doesnt really matter what they do b/c none of that conversation leaves that room#so i think they're all just too psyched for the surprise soap opera to think about what they're hearing all the way through#anyway. i wish the game had different reactions if you've already told the party that youre a bhaalspawn#wyll gave corentin the same exact speech twice which. fair. they probably needed to hear it#but still#shadowheart's the only one who didnt react again iirc but i might have just been reeling too much from karlach's to remember it#bg3#digital art#my art#bg3 spoilers#bg3 act 3 spoilers#corentin#bg3 wyll#bg3 karlach#bg3 shadowheart#bg3 gortash#bg3 durge#dark urge#baldurs gate 3#bg3 tav#sketch#the prodigal saer
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I hope they kill your man so good in the end I hope he gets stabbed in the heart by a stray pipe thrown by nobody and it solves everything and then he cries too in the last panel just for you <3
You are so sweet dear anon ty ty.
#i guess we will see#though they might need to overcome his ability via other means if dying is off the table#maybe anne's room? or if someone else pops up that makes long term confinement an option#or something idk. he can't regrow limbs not to get too dark but they could work harder to make him unable to escape or cause trouble#doesnt solve the fact he is probably still capable of getting someone to kill him#i will go into never ending circles i will stop#thanks for the ask#-Lue asks
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i don't know if my roommate thinks it's weird that i like clean up after her (i don't mind doing it i like keeping the space the way i want it anyway aka clean) or if she appreciates it?? or if she thinks i'm super weird for it
#chatterye#idk what it is about being in this apt but i feel a strong urge to clean everything immediately#like i clean our stove top almost every day so usually it's as spotless as i can get it w water and a paper towel (ie mostly)#and i always do my dishes after i'm done w them so any dishes she leaves i'm like#might as well clean them if i'm doing mine anyway#and i wipe our island down like once every other day because i sit there and munch on my lunch so i don't want to touch anything gross#the floor is no mans land but if i could i would clean it too#i'm really hoping the new robot is good at cleaning because it drives me nuts#i clean my room's floor like once or twice a week#sometimes a little more depending on whether or not the cat has been in#if this robot isn't good i'm actually gonna buy a vacuum for my floor and outside#idk i think a wire came loose in my head when we moved here#i think it's because everything is dark hardwood here and so i can easily see if things are dirty#and i really hate it when things look dirty#idk but i hope she doesn't mind or feel pressured by me#i actually would clear out the dishwasher for her if i could#idk what's wrong w me usually i'm not like this#maybe i just have too much extra energy rn#perhaps once i'm busy and school starts i'll stop being like this#but for now.. it's the way it is#(i doubt it'll change though it's a routine for me now and if there's one thing about me it's that i love a good routine)
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...
#shout out to crying quietly in a bathroom stall before u have to go teach a room full of 18yo children#my face is v splotchy and if anyone asks if im alright i might burst into tears#y bc i got here at 7am. so i woke up at 5.30 and i teach from 3 to 5 normally#but the person who teaches 5 to 7 is sick so someone needs to substitute and i knew as soon as i saw the email it had to b me#bc no one else is prepared to teach on the 1st day of the week. so i get to do a 12hr day with basically zero breaks#and i have SO much that needs to get done. all the other TAs have all their stuff graded or at least made a start#and im gonna be here until its dark outside. and i probably made everyone feel bad bc my voice was shaking when i volunteered myself#and im not mad at them or blame them. im the obvious choice to do it. i also just so happen to b having#some sort of breakdown so ya kno. not ideal but so it goes#itll b fine. its the topic i study so it should b fine#unrelated#thats thr other thing. its beautiful outside and im not gonna b able to run bc itll b too dark when i leave
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i just followed my cat down the hall to pet her, while all the lights are off (its 2 in the morning rn) and get suddenly reminded of my visual snow! trying to pet a black cat in a very dark hallway is already hard enough, forget the fact that ive got static everywhere making everything swirl around and straining my eyes... even once i got back to my room where i have a lamp on its still. eurgh. i feel like i need an adjustment period after being in the dark like that
#infinitely curious on what the dark actually looks like minus the static but. not really anything i can do about that#i mean. not like id be able to see in the dark anyways. but it might be a little easier if nothings blurring together#'idk my visual snow isnt THAT bad.' *steps into a very dark room* 'oh. ow.'#i feel like its worse when theres a bit of light as opposed to pitch black#bc like. at least with pitch black theres no shapes to be merging. when theres a bit of light it makes weird stuff happen#as you could imagine this also makes trying to sleep a little annoying. bc obviously closing ur eyes makes things dark#and so i also get plagued with swirly shit in my eyelids too! though its not always too bad#its funny that when i was a kid i thought the static was cool bc it was like how a camera will have static in the dark#but now that im an adult that not only knows what visual snow is but also has to drive. its. uh. annoying.#i do like how i never questioned the static as a kid though. i guess i thought everyone saw like that. up until 2021 i didnt think abt it#though at the same time i also was nearsighted and didnt realize. i didnt know you're supposed to see the world in HD#hm.
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I knitted a lot today while listening to the heart of darkness audiobook. but this means I have not had a lot of leisure time and time alone... time to p3r
#heart of darkness... sorry to say it but kinda mid#it commits one of the cardinal sins imo that a book can commit:#nothing fucking happens like nothing happens. it's mostly vibes based.#giovanni's room was like this too it's so annoying#maybe I'm too gen z adhd low attention span pilled but like. NOTHING. HAPPENS.#and I mean beside the frame story that serves as the conceit of it#i.e. nothing's happening and the characters are just sitting listening to this guy reminisce#I mean even beyond that. tell me what happens. he goes to africa. he keeps meeting these colonial officers and secretaries and whatever#he finds out his boat got fucked up. he spends like half a chapter working on fixing his boat and complaining that there's no parts for it#he takes the boat to find the guy. he finds the guy. guy tries to escape off the boat. he drags him back. you think something interesting#might happen because he's like oh I might just kill this fucker. HE DOESN'T. he takes the guy back on the boat. Oh before that he meets the#guy that's weirdly obsessed with this other guy. and also the boat gets shot at with arrows. guy dies on the boat and leaves main character#his shit. main character doesn't give his shit away to people who hate him. main character goes to visit the guy's love interest#lies to her about guy's last words. that's it.#LITERALLY NOTHING HAPPENS#mid book#but I read it and I will slay at the seminar because I'm convinced very few if any of my colleagues will have read it
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