#it mentions them briefly but im tagging just in case

[postmodernbeliever]

not for a second longer - fox mulder x female reader (fluff)

fox is coming home from a case that's got him missing you like crazy, and you're (im)patiently waiting.

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my ao3 | word count: 3,070

content tags: dorks in love, fox mulder misses you, domestic fox mulder, fluff, domestic fluff, worry, romance, waiting, overthinking, fox is an idiot (/pos), reunited and it feels so good, just soft fluff that's all, cross-posted on ao3, mentions of murder/case material but briefly!

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fox felt like if another second passed without hearing your voice, he might go insane, and this was a first- even for a complete lover boy like him. 

the agent has been away on a case for a few days. not much shorter or longer than any other work he’s done, but this time he couldn’t bear being far from home. he’d done everything just as he always does- there were no changes in the routine he’s tailored since he met you. he called every night to let you know he was safe and hear about your day, even if it was late and he woke you up by doing so; he’d remind you to feed his fish, and ask you about that nagging coworker who the two of you nicknamed hannibal because he always brought something creepily edible for lunch (the man ate steak tartare like his life dependent on it, honestly.) and you’d complain, like always, and you’d ask how his case was going, which would lead to him willingly divulging all kinds of classified information just for fun. you’d offer advice if you could. you weren’t as invested in the paranormal as he was, but you’d had your share of spooky stories, so your middle-of-the-road perspective helped at times. the phone call was always the same, but it didn’t matter what you talked about. he just wanted to hear your voice as badly as you did his, and it put you both at ease. so he called. 

like clockwork, fox admired the engraved backside of his watch before he fell asleep every night, where it said don’t keep me waiting. it was an inside joke that sparked when you’d first started dating. fox warned you up and down about how dangerous his job can be, how he’s been injured and in and out of hospitals and how multiple criminals are likely sitting on plans for his murder if they ever break out of incarceration. he prepared to see you get overwhelmed and leave him due to the potential stress; yet when he packed up for his first case, you kissed him softly, no fear to be felt, and told him not to keep you waiting because you couldn’t promise to keep his fishes alive while he was gone. the watch was last christmas’ gift, and he never took it off, especially when he was away. 

fox even kept with his dorky tradition of taking one of the many shirts you’d left at his apartment and sleeping with it under his pillow, where he could hold onto it and feel like he at least had a piece of you while he was alone. when you found out he did such a thing, you teased him brutally, and then you began leaving clothes in every corner of the apartment for him to save. and you left your spare perfume bottle in his bathroom cabinet, so he could concentrate them with you. 

the man took all the cheesiest precautions to make his work out of state bearable until he could solve the damned things and get back home, but even with all of his bases covered, it wasn't enough. something felt different this time. coming back to a motel every night, like he had for his whole career before he met you, was torture. every moment of the case strung him farther out. now, if you’d asked the lovely and level-headed dana scully why fox was so eager to be done with the case, she would’ve given you a plain and simple explanation: the two were investigating a string of seemingly unrelated murders by men unto their girlfriends, but fox had a suspicion that some kind of entity persuaded each man to kill the girl who kept their beds warm. and with every day that they didn’t track the cause down, he felt the pressing weight of your safety and how much he cared for you, and it was making him- as scully would kindly put it, of course- act out extremely irrationally. even you could put two and two together there, but he’d been a bit avoidant over the phone about this one job, so you didn’t know. fox refused to think about you in connection to the work, though, because to allow his brain to cross its signals and imagine you and him as victim and suspect (as a paranoid brain might) would just be stupid. but whether he meant to think of you or not, everything was putting him on edge by association, and he was itching to see you happy and healthy and still his. 

by the time fox deciphered that the newest date-night romantic comedy at the local movie theater was having midnight showings, and the ticket booth operator was a twenty-five year old involuntary celebate who was admitting loving couples into the place and watching them make out right in front of his jealous eyes, the case was a one-and-done. scully didn’t buy that the employee was telekinetically causing the boyfriends to kill, but the kid got shot in a police chase, so fox was left to his conclusions and she to hers. and he couldn’t drag her ass out of town fast enough. fox was two hours early to the airport. he bounced his leg on the entire flight home, and scully barely got a “see you tomorrow” out by the time he hailed a cab and ordered the driver to his address. 

his gut was twisting itself in knots, hoping you’d be home. you practically lived with him by how much time you spent at his apartment; the truth was that he was away so often, and you just couldn’t sleep unless you could curl up in his bed, with his pillows and blankets and wearing his clothes, and let everything that belonged to him comfort you until you got the man back himself. he knew you’d be there- it was nearly one in the morning. but still, after all this time staring at dead girls and thinking about how in love they were with the trusted boys who slit their throats, he just wanted to collect you into his arms and keep you there. 

you were wide awake because you knew he was on his way. you stayed up all night watching all the classic movies he had on tape, glancing at the clock, trying to stop obsessing over the unlikely crash of his plane. you were standing in his little kitchen, watching the tea kettle boil and listening to the fuzzy transatlantic accents yapping a room away, when the front door of the apartment swung open. 

you didn’t even have time to leave the kitchen. fox threw his bags down like a child and scurried to you, engulfing you in his arms; he drew your body snugly into his and buried his face in your shoulder. he was squeezing the air from your lungs, but you didn’t mind. you combed your fingers through his moussed-up hair, breaking up the curated clumps and reminding it of how it naturally fell against his head. he smelled just as he did when he left, like his ralph lauren polo green- minty and smoky, and so much himself. his soft leather jacket hung onto the smell of his taxi, but you ignored the staleness and inhaled the good stuff. 

“i missed you so much,” fox sighed. the man showered you with kisses all over your neck and jaw, traveling up the valleys of your cheeks to make sure he got your eyes and nose and forehead, too. you squirmed playfully and swatted at his hands, but he only smiled and fought you off.

“jeez, it’s like you thought i died or something!” you giggled. 

fox’s eyes flashed with something that looked like momentary worry, and then it was gone- replaced with a warmth you’d missed more than you realized the past few days. his arms were around you again, this time much gentler, and he asked, “you feel safe with me, don’t you?”

“what? fox, why would you even ask that? of course i do,”

“you know i’d never hurt you,”

“baby, you’re the only person in the world i feel safe with.” you promised, petting the back of his head softly, smoothing the hair down his neck. with both hands, you lifted his face from your shoulder and brought his face close, so you could look right into his ruminative eyes. the man smiled as your thumbs caressed the stubble growing in on his cheeks, those rounded teeth poking out beneath his top lip the way you adored. your chest fluttered, and you couldn’t help but return the gesture. 

“are you okay, baby?” you asked, knocking your forehead against his playfully. 

the man dipped his neck low and pressed his lips to the corner of your mouth. somehow it felt more intimate than if he’d truly kissed you; like by being an inch off base, he was saying more than the real thing could. he always did things like that, such small gestures that would go unnoticed if he was any other guy and you were any other girl, but every move fox made was conscious. each one was a choice that meant something. kissing you in such a way wasn’t a mistake, it was purposeful- he was proving his allegiance, ruling your mouth was more sacred and deserved to be earned. he was poetic in that respect, you knew it, and it made every hair on your body stand up. maybe that’s why you shifted your position and locked him in a normal kiss- a forceful one, at that. to remind him that you were nothing sacred, just someone who desperately loved him. 

you’d missed the way his lips molded to yours, the familiar chapped patches that came from his nervous biting, the way his scruff scratched your chin. you even missed the feeling of his breath as it blew out of his nose and across your face, warm and frequent, because he always seemed to breathe faster when you got close, like a teenage boy. you kissed him hard, letting your hands fall down his chest and press against his abdomen, remembering the sculpted curves of his stomach beneath his t-shirt. fox’s lips curled upwards as you touched him, and in those few moments of your neediness, he was sure you meant what you said before- that you truly did feel safe with him. 

when he pulled away, he brought the pad of his thumb to your plump bottom lip, holding you by the chin. “i’ve been going crazy without you, you know.”

“so have-” you began, but were cut off by the sudden screeching of the forgotten kettle behind you. both fox and yourself jumped, and you rushed to twist the knob on the stove, shutting the thing up in frustration. “sorry.”

“it’s okay,” the agent chuckled.

“you want some?” 

“only if you bring it over to the couch for me,” fox said, batting his eyelashes jokingly. 

“what am i, your mother?” you countered.

fox rolled his eyes and pressed another kiss to your lips, rebutting, “no, but you do love me, don’t you?”

“oh, shut up. go unpack.”

you listened to his footsteps as he went to retrieve his bags and haul them to his bedroom. smiling to yourself, you waited to hear him open the door and laugh. every time he came home, you left his bed an unruly mess and accumulated as many water cups on his nightstand as possible, and he had a love-hate relationship with it (mostly love, because he adored the idea of you living in his space.) a full-bodied sound came from the other side of the apartment, a hearty one, and a voice called, “impressive collection you’ve got in here!”

with two steeping cups of oolong you walked slowly back to fox’s living room, where his copy of vertigo had rewinded to the start. you settled into the couch, putting your feet up on the coffee table and watching jimmy stewart dangle from a drainpipe as you awaited your boyfriend’s return. it always took him a little while to unpack because it was more like repacking- he would swap out all his worn clothes with new ones and throw everything in the hamper, and he had to take out all his necessities only to keep them somewhere easy for him to grab come the next time work sends him away. you were used to waiting for him, but how he acted tonight was making you impatient. 

when fox was finally done and changed into a clean shirt and pajama pants, he headed towards the hallway to come and sit with you. but he paused when he came to the corner, making his steps quiet, so he could take a look at you undisturbed. you were slouched on his old, rickety couch, in clothes all belonging to him; a pair of old gray sweatpants that hugged your thighs, given they were a bit bigger than his skinny ones, his old oxford long sleeve that has a hole in the neck, and a frumpy blue grandpa-style cardigan he hasn’t worn in years. your hair was tucked away in an unraveling braid, with little locks fanning like leaves across the apples of your cheeks. your chipped nails cradled the mug in your palms, and the colors from the box television danced in the reflection of your chunky tortoiseshell glasses. he imagined you sitting like this while he was off on a case, at home in his home, watching his movies and wondering about him like he did of you late at night. you were so pretty and so important that he felt the love buzzing in his fingertips and toes.

the man came around the corner and sat down cautiously on the couch so as not to spill your tea. your face softened at his arrival, and you leaned forward to place your cup down and clamber back to him, throwing your arms around his neck. fox hoisted you onto his lap despite your objections, and he hugged you tighter. he just didn’t feel like letting you go tonight, it seemed. 

“did you eat?” you asked, looking down into those puppy eyes that gazed up. 

“a little while ago.”

“how long was a little while ago?”

“...ten o'clock this morning?” fox grinned sheepishly.

“fox! aren’t you starving? let me go heat something up, i got chinese last night-”

“shh, no, not yet,” he grabbed your hips as you tried to get off of him, “don’t go anywhere yet. sit for a minute.”

“but-”

“no buts. just sit with me a little longer and then i promise i’ll eat, okay?”

you sighed, only half-aggravated, and nodded softly. “alright, fine.”

you rested your head in the crook of his neck, your shoulder pressed to his; he twisted you a bit so you had a chance to look at the tv and sit on him at the same time. fox’s fingers traced mindless shapes against the fabric of his sweatpants on your knee, finally at ease. you stole a glance at him from the side and admired the way even his harshest features seemed to curve softly; his square jaw melted into his neck, his aquiline nose a pretty protrusion alongside his lashes that curled wildly. you always thought his face was the most deserving of marble preservation, far more than those ancient guys. 

“you're missing the movie,” he flushed. 

“i already watched it tonight.” 

the man nuzzled your forehead like a puppy, feeling his stomach flip as your palm rested flat against his chest. you snuggled right up to him and let out a heavy breath you didn’t know you were holding. the two of you sat quietly for a while, taking turns watching each other and remembering what it felt like to be close, and you were half-asleep in the comfort of his arms when his stomach growled and woke you up.

“i’m gonna go make you something,” you chuckled.

“awh, come on, you were just about to sleep!” he whined.

“fox, i want you to eat. once you have a little something then i’ll climb right back on you, promise,” you teased, pushing up off the couch.

“whatever,” he groaned, but there was a toothy smile behind the complaint, so you took it well. 

fox watched as you sauntered off to the kitchen, and he called after you, “hey, wait,”

“what?”

the man hopped off the couch and scrambled to the doorway, where you were only feet from the refrigerator. he stooped down and planted a smooch to your forehead, muttering an, “i love you.”

“just can’t leave my side now, hm?” you nudged fox’s nose with your own and gave him a look so fond it nearly melted him into a puddle on the kitchen tile. “i love you more. now beat it, spooky.”

“hey!”

“shush. go sit down and i’ll make it up to you later.”

‘you’re bossy,” fox crossed his arms, leaning against the wood molding and watching you move towards the fridge.

“well, if you’re not gonna leave, then at least get a pan for me to heat this rice up in, would you?” you ordered, shaking the day-old fried rice container in his face.

“anything for you, darling.”

being without each other could feel impossible at times. no matter how he tried, no set routine could recreate the feeling of falling asleep beside you; nor could any amount of his laundry could conjure fox himself to send you off to work with a kiss every morning. his work made it easy to miss him. but moments like this, where he watched you make him a late-night snack that he would share with you, were the moments that made all the waiting worth it. and the moments that will come after, too- the couch that was waiting for you both to come back to, where you’d fall asleep with your face against his neck, and where he’d fall asleep watching you breathe. nobody knew that absence makes the heart grow fonder more intimately than you two did. but even with that in mind, neither of you cared about that right now. 

he was simply thankful to be with you, the one he called home; thankful that he didn’t have to be without you for a second longer, and so were you.

[burr-ell]

What's fascinating about the lack of empathy from a certain set of shippers that you and ultilitycaster have been discussing is that it doesn't just extend to refusing to empathize with characters outside the ship, even characters like Percy who we've had a whole campaign's worth of insight into, but they also refuse to empathize with characters IN the ship if the way they're behaving doesn't fit with the idea they've built up about what the relationship should be. Case and point the gharlrock fight you mentioned in your tags. People were so upset with Imogen because she dared to react to the situation in a way that put her in conflict with Laudna, even though her reaction was totally justifiable from her perspective

Yep. The tone of the discourse at that time was that if it conflicts with "pastel girlfriend and goth girlfriend statically hold hands in a cottage all day", it's bad. And like...y'all, it's a story. Stories have conflicts. Like, isn't that what you want for your ship? P*rc'ahlia wouldn't be half as iconic as it is without the characters' flaws causing problems for each other; I want my stories to be as good as they can be!

At this point I don't ship anybody in Bell's Hells, but with the way Laura and Marisha have played romances in the past, I think that if they do go for endgame Im*dna, they'll do it in a way that'll probably piss off a significant portion of the Cute Girlfriends fandom and will thus actually be interesting. Because relationships need a conflict of some sort to be believable in fiction—even Percy and Vex briefly broke up!—and I think Marisha and Laura both get that it's going to take more than "Imogen and Laudna were super codependent and had a bunch of the same conversations over and over and then they kissed :)" to be a fulfilling narrative for either of them. If they go for it, they'll do it in a way that will be worthwhile and actually has some conflict...which means much of the obnoxious fandom will be outraged by it, but it'll be a much better story in the long run than the current Absolute State of the fanon at the moment.

Like! Let's deal with them being codependent! Let's deal with Laudna not doing anything about Delilah in her head for thirty years and not really bothering for 37 episodes! Let's deal with Imogen considering siding with the people who killed Laudna, and doing so for personal reasons rather than any kind of philosophical ideas! There's genuinely interesting, meaty stuff there, but you have to actually dig into it in order for this relationship to be a worthwhile narrative.

[lagomort]

now im like curious about your shido opinions you really wrote like a WHOLE tag essay

Ok. So here's the thing.

I have this thing in my life where my favourite character from a media property is not always like... my choice. It just kind of happens to me over time while I try to scrabble away like an insect in an antlion trap. Loser ass pathetic Masayoshi Shido happened to me and every day I suffer for it (but also have a really good time).

I would say Akechi and Ren are about on par with him though so I can be spared SOME shame for my evils.

But what really makes me think about Shido is the concept of a change of heart. By nature of the game we don't really see people post change of heart, excluding Futaba. There's usually an apology scene (or in Shido's case also a scene where you watch him cry his ass off while everyone else in the room ignores him which is both mildly sad and majorly hilarious) and then they disappear from the narrative. Maybe a mention or two of how they're having a bad time.

And it makes sense! They aren't the focus of the story. They are the rotten adults and they got their comeuppance. You see them again briefly in Mementos but, like everyone else down there, they are being twisted by Yaldabaoth. You can't really say that's who they are post change of heart. It's a distortion. They essentially have another palace, in a way.

We see Futaba post change of heart, but in her case her distortion wasn't really a fundamental building block of her personality. It was the result of external pressures that made her anxiety and self-hatred intensify, but she herself did not make that distortion through her own actions. Her distortion was the result of the pain and suffering others brought her through no fault of her own, and she never externalised that suffering by making others suffer. Even her shadow's hostility is mild. Her palace is the only one where you go inside it and you're not initially seen as an enemy, after all.

The evil palace rulers, though? They cooked that stuff up all on their own. There's cut content suggesting how most of the palace rulers turned out like they were, but the difference is they were the agents of their own distortions. Even if people defended and enabled Kamoshida, for example, he wasn't made to be that way. He decided to see women as objects. He decided to act on bad impulses.

So when their hearts are changed, people whose fundamental building blocks have been knocked down like a Jenga tower, is the person who walks away from that still even the same person anymore?

In Shido's case, his pride is so enormous it swallows Tokyo. It intends to swallow the world. It is what makes up the fabric of who he is from toe to tip. Every action he takes in the story is born of that pride. Suing Ren for embarrassing him. Using and abusing Akechi. The way he treats his subordinates, treats the police, treats people who would oppose him. The world exists to serve Masayoshi Shido.

If you take something so fundamental away from a man so steeped in it, what is left afterwards? Who is that man? When you put that man in prison (and prison in Japan is nothing but godawful human rights violations, but that's another topic), are you punishing someone for the actions of a completely different person?

I like to think the answer to that last question is kind of yes.

A change of heart isn't something that can happen in the real world. People can change their own minds, but to unwillingly have the most prominent aspect of yourself stripped away is something else entirely. Men like Shido in the real world do not get better and they do not change, because they don't want to. But in fiction? Hoo boy.

Imagine one day you wake up and you don't understand the person you were yesterday. It's like you're in the body of a total stranger. How frightening is that? How could that not be a kind of deep eldritch horror? How could I not be completely insane about it?

I don't do it with any of the other palace rulers though. I don't like them. Sorry to all Okumura enjoyers or whatever.

The thing about Shido is there's a plot point in the game which is literally that no one knows anything about him (which makes sense, his popularity is a distortion). He is a one dimensional guy. A piece of wood with an angry face on it. So you can do anything with him.

Here, I'll show you.

What was his family like? Pre-change of heart he's basically just a carbon copy of his dipshit parents.

Is he actually bald or is it a choice? Choice. He went grey in his late teens and was so embarrassed he shaves that shit down shiny bald which is, honestly, way more embarrassing. Just utter loser behaviour. I have him grow it again in art I draw of him post change of heart (send an ask if you want to see that, I designed his dumb ass a persona and a metaverse outfit) purely because I hate drawing bald heads. I've failed the 'be honest about his hairline' contingent for the first time ever. I'm sorry women

What is he like post change of heart? Complicated, but does intend to do the right thing. I feel like he develops a whole nother palace because Japanese prison + basically coming into existence at 53 years old after being The Worst Person Ever is one hell of a thing.

Also I made him bisexual. No more questions at this time.

[wadesprincessboy]

In case youre not on ao3 i have put the whols fic below the cut, as well as the tags. I have it locked on ao3 to avoid ai, im hoping tumblr doesnt nab my writing as well 😤

Rating:

Mature

Archive Warning:

Rape/Non-Con (briefly mentioned)

Category:

Gen

Fandom:

Cabaret - Kander/Ebb

Characters:

Emcee (Cabaret)Max (Cabaret - Kander/Ebb)

Additional Tags:

Self-Harm, Whump, Drug Use, Past Sexual Abuse, They/Them Pronouns for Emcee, Emcee Whump, Hurt No Comfort, No Beta We Die Like Emcee, dissociation, implied dissociative identity disorder, Emcee has DID

Language:

English

----

Summary:

The Emcee is miserable and the voices won't stop

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

The Emcee stares at the mirror in front of them, almost as if they are looking straight through it. Everything and nothing going through their head. They lift a hand, as if to check that that is indeed their reflection. Something is wrong, but they are used to it. A knock on the door snaps them out of their trance.

“ALMOST SHOWTIME” Max's voice yells.

Emcee panics, they have been staring at this mirror for an hour now, and haven't even begun their makeup. Quickly, they apply a face. A face that, despite how artificial it is, looks more like them than the face that had been staring back at them for the last hour.

They are finally ready, and they know Max will be outside their door waiting impatiently. They open the door, leaving their private dressing room and entering into the backstage hall of the Kit Kat Klub. Max looks them up and down, disdain on his face.

"Cover those up" he says, gesturing to Em's arms. Emcee was unsure whether he was gesturing to the track marks or the fresh red lines down their forearms. They supposed it didn't matter. Quickly, Emcee turned back to their dressing room to apply foundation and concealer to their arms, in a hopeless attempt to please Max, though, Emcee thought, Max was never pleased, unless of course you considered the nights in which he forced Emcee to pleasure him in exchange for Max forgetting one of the many mistakes Emcee may have made that night. That was different though.

Voices went back and forth in Em's head, they were getting better at tuning them out, but sometimes it was too much. A sniff of that headache powder Sally had bought them would sort it out quickly enough though.

That nights show was a hard one. The headache powder didn't work as it used to. The voices screaming and distracting them, making them forget their lines. Some days the Emcee thought perhaps they weren't all a hallucination, but perhaps they were real. Sometimes it felt as though they took over, especially in times like tonight. Emcee would stare into the abyss, and they could almost swear they heard the voices talking to each other, and then hours, sometimes even days, later they would awake. Somewhere strange usually, like in Max's bed, or sometimes in Sally's or Bobby's or one of the other Cabaret dancer's. They hated when that happened. They often missed so much, and they hated to wake up in someone else's bed, after all, they never truly enjoyed sex. Tonight was not one of those nights, tonight Emcee was there, and couldn't disappear for the next few hours and let one of the other voices in their head deal with life. Tonight, Emcee slipped back into their dressing room after the show, and did as they often did. They pulled out their case of blades from under their chaise lounge, and pressed it upon their skin, quickly sliding it towards themself and watching the blood rise. When that short lived pain was no longer enough, they switched to the needle, or sometimes the powder, tonight it was the needle. As they felt the cold serum enter their blood stream, all was alright. They could forget everything and just enjoy the feeling of nothingness for a while. It was nice.

Notes:

I wrote this while having a breakdown, hence it being a bit of a mess, but I read it to my mum who said I should post it so here it is. Hope you enjoyed reading, this fandom needs way more fanfic so glad to contribute!

My dears I have written a Cabaret hurt/no comfort fic for your reading (dis)pleasure. It would mean a lot if you checked it out! Please read the tags to keep yourself safe from any triggers. Kind constructive criticism welcome and encouraged!!!

(This is locked and only readable by registered users btw)

[a-painintheneck]

CHAPTER: SHATTERED STARRING: MALACHI & REMINGTON (ALECTA)

triggers: holocaust, mentions of violence and death notes: remington’s face changed and she is now going by her birth name and not the alias of alecta valentine.

@xremyisms​ 

It wasn’t really about being wrong or being right, and that was something that Alecta didn’t get. That once you became a vampire those concepts no longer mattered. But he understood the need to keep the people she cared about around for as long as possible. Often times by all means necessary. He knew what it was like to feel the sting of rejection. True that it didn’t happen all that often because Malachi never placed himself in a position to be rejected. ❝Yes. I wouldn’t be here without it. It keeps me going. Every other emotion I have is an extension of that pain. Anger, vengeance, hunger, lust …. even love.❞ [x]

[ahundredtimesover]

A Still Day or A Hurricane (07) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: single mom lawyer!OC x pastry chef!Jungkook; angst, fluff, smut; age gap

Chapter Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption; single parenthood, motherhood; mention of a sexual harassment case, inaccurate law stuff im sry; flirting and cute moments; eventual smut (18+)

Chapter Word count: 13.8k

Status: Completed

Series summary: Driven by your perfectionist attitude and need to have everything in order, you planned that by age 30, you’d have made junior partner, bought your own apartment, and have children. You achieved them, of course, and while the last bit required you to take matters into your own hands - no thanks to your ex-boyfriend who dumped you but to your best friend who directed you to a fertility clinic - you’re now a 31-year old who pretty much has her life under control. You’re ready to raise your child on your own, that is, until the 20-something pastry chef flirts his way into your heart, messing up the perfect little life you worked so hard to have for yourself.

A/N: I hope this makes up for a lot! Thank you again for all the love for ASDOAH! 🥰

Listen to: 2U (Kang Daniel), Perhaps Love (Eric Nam, CHEEZE) || Playlist 🎶

Series Masterlist

##

“So you said no?” Yoongi’s blank face doesn’t give much away, and while you always liked that about him, it’s times like this when you wish he was more expressive than you’re used to. 

“Yeah, duh. It felt weird to go to lunch with him when he just broke up with his girlfriend and—” you stop at the sight of your friend’s cocked eyebrow at you, as if he knows something you don’t.

And knowing Yoongi, he probably does.

“What?”

“What!” You whisper-yell, trying not to wake the sleeping 2-year old on your lap.

Heejin moves only a little bit, her slightly parted mouth telling you she’s still very much asleep. She’s usually a morning person like you but she spent the whole of yesterday afternoon swimming in the inflatable pool with Subin in Namjoon’s backyard and used up all her energy for the next two days. 

You’re currently at Blue Side on an early Monday morning, your meetup place with Jimin, Jin, and Ga-eun, another associate, before you head to the court for a trial. As usual, all of them are late. 

“Nothing, go on,” Yoongi blinks at you, although you don’t miss the hint of amusement on his face.

He’s here to wave you off as your hype man during high profile cases like the one you’re all handling, and his presence is always appreciated. Even if sometimes he frustrates you because it’s Yoongi and he can.

“I was just saying it didn’t seem like it was in good taste if I said yes or like, what if I’m just his rebound or something?” You wonder out loud, earning you an actual expression from Yoongi - a look of disbelief.

“Should I have said yes?” You ask.

“That’s not me to say, but you? His rebound? You forget this is the same guy who left Seoul because you broke his heart.”

“That is not true,” you argue. “He left because of work.”

“Yup, you’re totally the one that he and Hobi were out drinking with the night before they left,” Yoongi rolls his eyes.

“Then what, Yae-won was his rebound? That’s not nice. And then they break up, then he comes back here to get over her?” You bite back.

“You underestimate his feelings for you, ___,” Yoongi frowns. “And him. You know, I don’t like a lot of people. And he did seem a little too eager and childishly in love with you at the beginning but, you learn a lot about a person when they’re hurt. And he did nothing that I expected him to.”

Yoongi recalls all those weeks when you ghosted the young man, and how Yoongi came to the cafe everyday to get your breakfast. Jungkook always seemed dazed and lost in his thoughts until a customer came, and then he’d try his best to be his best, even in front of your friends. 

Jungkook never badgered Yoongi or your best friends when they’d drop by, only briefly asking if you’re doing okay. He always seemed apologetic for making you feel uncomfortable, and that he couldn’t be around to help you get through your last trimester. And when your friends called to ask him to go to you at the hospital, he went, no questions asked, and didn’t expect anything from you after he left. 

Yoongi has known you for years, including the men who tried to be with you and the only man who was in that period, and none of them is even remotely close to how Jungkook is. At least with you. And as your friend, Yoongi will always go for the man who’d treat you like you deserve the world because you do. He just wants you to be able to see that, too.

It’s at this time when the bell rings and in comes the man who’s been swirling in your mind the past two days, the way he looked so casual and gorgeous at the supermarket making your heart beat faster whenever you think about it. Clad in loose pants and an oversized sweatshirt, he looks around the cafe and his eyes meet yours, flitting from Heejin to you, and the smile that’s half cheeky and half soft graces his face.

He waves when Yoongi turns, then disappears into the staff room.

“I’m gonna need to get used to seeing him again pretty much everyday,” you sigh, not out of frustration but out of nervousness. 

“Hey, you liked it before,” Yoongi reminds you, and it’s not something you deny. 

You always enjoyed seeing and being around Jungkook. You were just the selfish one who kept him close because you knew he wanted to be, and he’d been able to keep his feelings in check. But when you couldn’t, you cut him off so certainly, and it scared you how much it hurt when you did.

But things were different two years ago. You don’t know what parts of you changed but you know they did, and you could only hope it’s for the better. There’s a certain joy that having your daughter has taught you, and she continues to teach you that there are so many kinds of joy out there; you’re lucky if you even get a chance to feel them.

You’re removed from your thoughts when Heejin shifts in your lap, and she tilts her head to look at you with her sleepy eyes, and you melt into a puddle at how beautiful she looks. 

“Hey, bubba,” you brush your nose against hers. “Good morning again.”

She does her toddler stretch, hugs you briefly, then lets you shift her so she’s seated comfortably on your lap. She waves at Yoongi then does their fist bump, then watches you slip the piece of croissant in your mouth.

It’s your cue to take smaller pieces for her to eat, and you guide her as she chews, asking her if it’s good every time she finishes. 

From the corner of your eye, you see Jungkook exit the staff room and enter the kitchen, and your heart betrays you at how it sinks a little, given that in the past, he’d always have an excuse to be at the counter or serve tables so he could make faces at you and tease you. You hate thinking he doesn’t feel that comfortable doing that anymore. 

Jimin and Ga-eun enter not long after, ordering their food before heading to your table with the news that Jin will just meet you at the court since he has to go home to change into his clothes.

“Didn't go home last night again, I see,” you chuckle. 

“That boxing gym owner has him wrapped around her finger,” Jimin confirms. “He has such a weakness for strong and bold women. I think it’s a kink.”

His smug face directed at you earns him a scowl, and Jimin just laughs as he takes the seat across from you. Ga-eun sits next to you and plays with Heejin’s hand, babbling along with the toddler and you’re glad it’s her who does it this time.

The conversation shifts from Jin to the hearing to what you’re gonna do after the whole trial ends, and you momentarily lose your voice when Jungkook appears at your side, placing your colleagues’ respective orders on the table.

It’s that black rolled up long sleeve top underneath the white button-up polo ensemble again, his tattooed arm immediately catching your attention.

You hear someone clear their throat, and you turn to Jungkook who was apparently asking you a question. The playfulness on his face is back, too, and you scold yourself for being too transparent, vowing you’ll do better next time.

“Excuse me?” You say.

“I was just asking if you wanted something else to order,” he replies. “Heejin seems like she wants more but your croissant is finished.”

“She’s had enough for the morning,” you smile, “so it’s okay. Mom has a lot of food at her place that this little one can help herself to,” you say, given that you’re set to meet your mom here who’s Heejin’s designated babysitter today.

“Hmm, what about some warm milk? Get her day starting?” 

“Oh, uh,” you turn to Heejin who’s already looking at Jungkook, tilting her head as if familiarizing herself with him. “Sure, that would be great, Jungkook.”

He nods and leaves, and the silence in your table is unbearable.

“Since when were you so polite?” Jimin cocks an eyebrow. “I mean, even how you rejected Kook’s offer of lunch last Saturday was polite.”

“It’s first thing in the morning, Park. I don’t wanna deal with this yet,” you frown.

“Just curious,” he beams, angelic charms suddenly on. “But then again, he was away for 2 years so you’re probably just getting used to him being around again and looking as good as that,” Jimin smirks, having noticed the way you eyed Jungkook earlier.

“Excuse you. I was just telling Yoongi that—”

You stop at Jungkook appearing next to you again, a warm milk in a small cup with bite-sized strawberries at the side. You appreciate the effort, as you’d mentally noted when you woke up this morning that you’d need to buy them again because Heejin eats them every meal with mashed rice.

“Were you talking about me?” Jungkook smiles smugly.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” you playfully roll your eyes. 

“Well, I hope you are, and I hope it’s good things.”

He pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue, and you hate how that easily flusters you. You’re just glad he leaves for the kitchen before you give too much away, but Jimin and Yoongi, and even Ga-eun who’s one of the quiet ones at the firm, take this time to laugh at you.

“The way I’m reveling at this version of you,” Jimin beams. “Makes me wonder why you turned down lunch with him. Was it really because of Yae-won?”

“Duh! It seemed weird if they were still together, and it still was even after he said they’re broken up,” you reason, promptly feeding Heejin who squeals at the sight of her favorite fruit. “Like, he should give himself time to move on from it and stuff.”

“What makes you think he hasn’t?” Jimin asks.

“He just got back. I would assume they broke up right before he left, which makes sense. I mean, leave Seoul because of me, and leave Busan because of her,” you shrug, and you make it sound so simple, as if you've figured it all out.

“Except they didn’t,” Jimin says matter-of-factly. “They broke up 5 months ago.”

“Oh,” you say, sipping from an already empty cup, trying not to show how this bit of information is affecting you. “Uh, do you know why?”

“Yes,” Jimin responds.

“Are you gonna tell me?”

“And miss out on what could be a juicy conversation between you and Kook?” He acts shocked. “Of course not!”

“Yah, my life isn’t for your entertainment!” You kick his shin.

“I’m kidding,” he scowls. “It’s just not my place. You know me, I don’t meddle.”

“Sometimes I wish you did,” you sigh.

“Me, too. Maybe you and Jungkook would’ve gotten together long ago,” he sighs as well. 

Yoongi disagrees. “She’s too stubborn for that. You think she got to where she is by letting others meddle and do the work for her?”

“Min, I know you think the world of me, but I’m not that perfect,” you tease. “I had a couple of you knocking sense into me when I was too up in the clouds.”

“That’s different, ___,” Yoongi replies. “It’s just with you, if you don’t believe in it, you won’t go for it. And you didn’t believe in you and Jungkook then. None of us would’ve been able to change your mind. He wasn’t part of the plan, remember? You would’ve tried to make him be a part of it if you really wanted, and you could’ve. He would’ve taken you back in an instant. But you didn’t.”

“You’re not wrong,” you nod. 

“I rarely am,” he shrugs. “But tell me, am I wrong to think that even with all the great things that happened to you the past two years, something still felt missing? Like a part of you was yearning for something, and you just didn’t want to admit it?”

Your eyes travel to the counter where Jungkook is charming an elder woman, presenting to her the different danishes and by the way she’s laughing, he’s making her blush. He meets your eyes for a moment, that cheeky yet soft smile making another appearance, and you knew it was that. 

“I’m not answering that,” you say, turning your gaze away. 

Yoongi, who’d noticed the way your eyes seemed to land on Jungkook all morning, just hums.

“You already did.”

**

The rest of the week is a busy one, and you only get to drop by the cafe one more time. Back to handling multiple cases at a time, your days are packed. You had no choice but to leave Heejin at daycare the past two days, which is your last resort, and this Thursday, you’re lucky that your other trusted babysitter is free.

Needing to calm your mind a bit before heading to a court hearing, you pass by the cafe for your usual coffee and pastry, phone on one hand and tablet in the other. You’re giving instructions to one of your associates who can’t seem to follow your train of thought when you walk towards the counter, Dea’s always welcoming smile doing little for your mood.

You quickly state your orders, briefly closing your eyes in frustration after accepting that you’re gonna have to meet the said associate later despite your busy day ahead, when all you wanted to do after saying goodbye to Heejin was go back home right away. 

“Tough day, huh?” Dea sympathetically says.

“I can’t wait for it to be over,” you groan. 

You give your card and it’s the same time that Jungkook emerges from the kitchen with a tray of freshly-baked peach turnovers. 

“Hey, good morning,” he beams at you, softness and care exuding from it.

You feel your furrowed brows relax a bit, the smile you make almost automatic as his bright eyes give you some form of relief. 

They always used to. You remember a time when coming to the cafe in the mornings being greeted by his harmless flirting and silly stories made you feel lighter. Behind the playfulness, you always knew he just wanted to make you laugh, to remind you that you’re still allowed moments of joy. You suppose that hasn’t stopped.

“Hey,” you respond. “Those look good.”

“You want one?” He asks.

“I’m okay. Dea’s strawberry-filled donuts are my current guilty pleasure,” you say, to the delight of the woman in front of you.

“You’ve been away too long, Jeon,” she teases. “I’m her new favorite. Might’ve captured her heart or something, too.”

You giggle at the wink she gives you, and Dea laughs along when you both catch Jungkook rolling his eyes.

“Gotta step up my game, then,” he smirks before disappearing into the kitchen.

You take your order and settle in your usual corner, opting to check your phone that’s linked to the baby monitor to catch a glimpse of Heejin. She’s still asleep in her toddler bed while the babysitter sits by, studying while waiting for the little one to wake up. 

It’s one of the wonders that’s allowed you to feel at ease when you’re away, even when it’s any one of your friends or family babysitting. Just knowing how Heejin is doing, hearing her squeal or seeing her smile, is enough for you to feel better, no matter how anxious or stressed you are. 

You only allow yourself 20 minutes here before you head to a hearing for a civil case, and as you start to pack your things, you see Jungkook walk towards you, placing a small paper bag and a to-go cup.

“Cranberry black tea on-the-house as ordered by the deputy manager, aka me, and some chouqettes to go with it, as ordered by the pastry chef, also me,” he smiles. 

“Chou—what?” You chuckle, peeking inside.

“They’re like mini cream puffs that we’re now serving with special drinks. I think you’ll like them.”

“You better tell Hobi about this,” you say, standing up with your things and your takeaways. 

“I will. But think of it as a ‘glad to be back’ treat. It’s been so long since I made anything for you,” he chuckles, although you don’t miss the hint of shyness in it.

“Thank you, then,” you smile. “I’m sure I’ll like them. Thanks, Jungkook.”

“You’re welcome. And whatever you’re doing today, you’re gonna do great, okay?”

You nod adoringly, believing in his words, then walking out the door.

You sip from the drink at the stoplight, feeling your cheek warm at the note on the cup.

Am I still your favorite? :D

Not wanting to be distracted, you wait until later that night to think about him again - how his presence this morning calmed you down a bit, and how the little treats made you feel better and less hungry throughout the day when you barely had time to eat.

You message Yoongi, asking for Jungkook’s number with a disclaimer that you only want to thank the man for this morning, and he promptly sends it to you with only a smirk to go with it. 

Keying it in, you send Jungkook a text.

[To: Jungkook]  You were never my favorite though 

You take a deep breath, feeling silly at being nervous about texting him again after so long, then feeling your heart drop at his reply.

[From: Jungkook] sorry, who’s this?

You groan because he probably deleted your number.

[From: Jungkook] kidding 😝 I know I was your only favorite. just like how you were my only favorite customer. 😉

You wanna smack him for flirting with you over text, but you can’t deny the way it’s making your heart race. 

[To: Jungkook] Hmm, don’t know about me being your only favorite customer, Jungkook. 🤔🤔

You hope this time, he doesn’t catch on to the double meaning of your statement. But with him, you’ll never know.

[From: Jungkook] ___, you always were.

**

It’s 9AM that Saturday when you decide that the weather is too good for you to pass up a morning walk at the park. You were never the type to go out for strolls before, opting for other relaxation methods like spas and salon days when you’re free, but Namjoon was adamant that Heejin needs to be out to feel the fresh air and learn to enjoy nature.

You supposed he was right, and with the family park not too far from your place, you’ve been coming here with your daughter most weekends, exploring the massive outdoors and enjoying seeing Heejin be amused at the trees and flowers and birds and ducks by the lake.

You spend a good half hour just wandering at the east side before heading to one of the playgrounds. Pushing the stroller and bending to the side to point at the fountain, you don’t realize that you’ve swayed on your path, barely missing an oncoming jogger.

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry!” You say, turning towards the person after you felt the bump.

Your eyes widen as the person tilts their head, their own familiar dark orbs underneath the bucket hat meeting yours. 

“You always have me falling because of you, ___,” he chuckles.

“Jungkook?” You move closer. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

His face turns smug, and you realize your mistake.

“Do you really want me to answer that?”

“Maybe not,” you briefly turn away. “But are you alright?”

“Yeah, it was just a bump. That’s a pretty strong stroller you got there,” he says. 

“It’s safer,” you shrug, looking at him again, taking in his black shorts and sweatshirt, the thin material of the top sticking to his toned chest. 

“So, uh, you out for a run?”

“Yeah. I’m on closing shift tonight so I wanted to do my exercise in the morning,” he responds, turning to look at Heejin who’s peeking out of her stroller.

Jungkook kneels and says hi, taking the hand that Heejin puts out for him.

“Hey, you,” he chirps. “You comfortable out here? This is a nice seat you have, Heejin. Maybe you could’ve told your mom there was a jogger she was about to hit.”

His cheeky face meets your frowning one, but it softens when you hear him continue to talk to her like he does it everyday. He compliments her sweatshirt-over-leggings outfit and says she has a prettier beanie than all the ones he owns. He asks about the weather and if she’s feeling cold, where she’s heading to and what she plans to do.

You can hear Heejin animatedly answering the best way a two-year old can, babbling even if you barely understand what she’s saying, but that’s more than you can ask for when it comes to her engaging with practically a stranger. They only met twice but she already seems enamored by him.

Perhaps it’s his eyes. Or because like your mom always says, kids are interested in attractive people. Maybe Heejin finds him funny.

Or maybe it’s because when you were carrying her in your womb, Jungkook made you smile and laugh a lot. 

That’s a stretch, but it’s not impossible.

Maybe it’s just your brain making up reasons on your behalf, and on hers.

“I was pointing at the fountain,” you explain. “She likes the water.”

“Yeah?” He stands up, looking at you now, and he internally gushes at your semi-matching sweatshirt-over-leggings outfit. 

“There’s a spot nearby where you can run past the floor and water will shoot up,” he says. “Have you been there?”

“No, actually. We’re only now starting to venture in this side of the park,” you explain. “But she’d love that.”

“I can take you there,” he offers, walking next to you then turning on the next left. 

“You run around here a lot?” You ask.

“Just since I moved back. I got an apartment close by and I try to run here when I can,” he says. “It’s peaceful here.”

“Oh, what happened to your old apartment?”

“My parents rented it out when I went home, and it’s a long-term lease. But it’s okay. I bought my own place with a larger kitchen, like a baker’s paradise for all the things I want to make.”

“New recipes?”

“Yeah and just in general to practice. Hobi and I plan to do these seasonal desserts and seasonal events at the rooftop,” he smiles excitedly. “We tried that out in Gwangju and it was a hit. Like, you buy your seat and we serve a dessert and drink set, exclusive and limited menu.”

“Oh, is this the one for next week? Hobi told me about it and as always, we get dibs,” you smirk, remembering how he’d eagerly invited you to it and even offered it at a discounted price, but you insisted, especially since your entire family will be attending.

“Yeah! I wasn’t sure if people would go, but we posted it on social media and he even had me model for it,” Jungkook shakes his head. “But then again, this face could sell thousands so I’m not surprised we sold out.”

You playfully smack him. “You’re annoying when you’re cocky, you know that?”

“I do, actually,” he chuckles.

“Is that why you have mint hair?”

“Yeah,” he responds, removing his hat and combing his hands through his locks, and you regret asking because of how he’s now constantly doing it and you don’t know when every little thing he does has started to look attractive. 

“You like it?”

“No,” you shake your head, but the laugh that leaves your lips tells him otherwise.

“It’s faded already but yeah, Hobi wanted a new look and to sort of announce that I’m back at the Seoul branch. Apparently a lot of customers were looking for me. Aside from you, of course.”

You slightly push him this time and he almost loses his balance.

“Humor me here,” he chuckles. “Or actually, don’t confirm nor deny. I wouldn’t know how to react with either answer.”

Neither do you, so you let it go and continue walking in silence now, just enjoying the sound of the birds and the rustling of the leaves on the grass. It’s peaceful out here like he said. It’s why you also like it, and it’s so massive that most times, you barely see other people nearby.

Jungkook jogs to the spot and attempts to get Heejin’s attention. You unbuckle the strap and help her out, loving how she’s looking around then excitedly squeals when Jungkook runs and as he said, water shoots up from the ground.

She starts running towards him, and you’re about to order her to stop when Jungkook meets her halfway and steadies her by holding both her arms. 

“Careful, little one,” he chuckles. 

He instructs her to put her arm out to her sides so the water will shoot up, then he tells her to tap her foot on the light and she follows, her sweet baby laughter ringing beautifully in your ears. 

You’re a fan of her enjoying herself, even if every time she runs a little bit faster makes your heart stop. And the way she’s smiling and jumping up and down when Jungkook says they’ll go on another run is priceless. 

“Hey, can I have her on my shoulders? My niece loves it when I do this for her,” he asks. “I’ll be careful, I promise.”

You nod, since one other thing your daughter likes is heights. You doubt this child has any fear, and you trust Jungkook, so you agree.

He secures her on his shoulders and carefully runs around, guiding her spread out arms and she laughs again. You laugh along at his pained face when Heejin starts pulling his hair and hitting his brow piercing, and you hadn’t realized that this is what you needed after a really long week. 

Perhaps it means something that it, again, has something to do with him.

“Alright, bubba, you’re getting soaked,” you exclaim. “Let’s get you dried up and dressed, yeah?”

You approach them with your arms out, asking her to get down, but she just shakes her head and says no. You try to talk to her then slowly match her stubbornness, your voice getting sterner as you go on, and you don’t realize how close you’re standing in front of Jungkook.

He could basically smell the ocean breeze scent of your cologne and count the individual lashes fluttering on your skin. 

He’s smiling the whole time you’re going back-and-forth with Heejin about needing her to get down and her saying no every time, and he softens because you’re so weak for your daughter. You look a little frustrated but can’t help but laugh whenever she tries to speak.

And he can’t blame you; she’s adorable even when she’s being hard-headed. Affectionate, too, as her tiny hands move from his hair down to the upper parts of his cheeks, gently touching them.

“No, Ma,” she says in her tiny voice. 

She babbles incoherently but he can pick up her saying she wants to play some more. 

Jungkook sees you try to level your breathing, and that’s when he decides to do things his way, briefly smiling at you then turning around. He supports her back and holds onto her tiny feet over his shoulders, then he runs around again, triggering the water spouts and making sure she’s got her arms out to feel them. 

He’s running faster than he had been, and while this would usually make you insanely anxious, the way Heejin is giggling so loudly is melting away your worry. She’s squealing and laughing and smiling with her eyes closed, mouth hanging open the entire time. She looks like she’s really enjoying herself, and looking at the man doing this to her, you see that so is he.

Jungkook slows down and sneakily takes Heejin off his shoulders when her arms are still out, and she ends up sitting on his arm, still beaming with excitement.

“You like that, sunshine?”

She claps and babbles some more, and you and Jungkook say “next time” at the same time, assuming she meant to say she wants another round.

“That was smooth,” you compliment him, as he places Heejin back on the stroller and he motions towards a nearby changing room.

“I needed to indulge her, catch her off guard, and then charm my way. It works with the ladies,” he winks. “Well, most of the time,” he adds when you laugh at his statement.

He offers to watch over the stroller as you change Heejin’s clothes and diaper, smiling at himself for his luck that he snoozed his alarm multiple times before finally waking up, otherwise he would’ve been up hours ago and wouldn’t have caught you on his way back to his apartment.

You exit the changing room with Heejin holding your hand, and like the traitor you’ve come to find out that she is, she cutely runs to Jungkook, arms up while her finger points towards the sky.

Liking the attention, he carries her then secures her on his shoulders again, as if he’d been doing this for long, like it’s so natural for the both of them. It doesn’t help that Jungkook’s arms are raised and flexed pretty much the entire time, his smile not fading one bit. He speaks to her affectionately, noting the same pet name he used earlier.

“Why sunshine?” You ask, as you near the playground. 

“___, look at her smile!” He exclaims.

“Most babies’ smiles are adorable.”

“Not all of them take after their mothers, though,” he says simply. “And I don’t know. When she was born, she just looked so radiant. I may have only seen her for a while but she just looked so calm but joyful. I just had to get her sunflowers. And you, too. You had this glow about you, I guess. It was nice to see, and it felt right.”

You hum, letting the silence engulf you. It’s not hard to forget that for the most part of your pregnancy, Jungkook was there. Your loved ones basically pointed out that he made you happy and that might’ve added to the pregnancy glow. 

“Those flowers were pretty,” you finally say. “Mom tended to them and they lasted long. I had them in the nursery those first few days.”

“Hmm, looks like I didn’t really leave until then,” he says jokingly.

But it does more to you than he knows. He always cared about you, and that day when you gave birth and he showed up without questions asked, he showed he cared for Heejin just as much. 

“I’m sorry, Jungkook,” you stop in your tracks, and he turns towards you, seemingly as surprised as you are. 

“I should’ve let you continue being a friend,” you add, realizing the other day that while not being with Jungkook romantically then was the right decision, you could’ve at least acknowledged that he wanted to be there for you, and maybe you could’ve found a way to not hurt him as much as you did.

“I know that’s what you wanted, and maybe I was overthinking it, or I just got too overwhelmed because you were someone new and having Heejin was also something new, and you just wanted to help but I shut you out and—”

“Hey, you did what you had to,” he comforts. “I never blamed you for what you decided to do, you have to know that. Heejin was always going to be the first priority. And then you.”

“But I hurt you in the process,” you bravely acknowledge. 

“And it’s okay, I managed,” he gives you an assuring smile.

“I’m still sorry,” you mumble.

“And I still forgive you,” he says, shifting his face so he could meet your eyes. “Did it hurt when I left?”

You nod, finally able to admit it to him now. You never wanted to address nor recognize that pain - how you missed him, missed his stories and the laughter he always elicited from you. You missed his comfort and the assurance of his presence. But you always knew keeping him around would confuse you, scare you, and you weren’t ready for that kind of uncertainty.

“Then I’m sorry, too,” he responds.

“It wasn’t your fault, though.”

“Maybe not, but I also could’ve assured you more, I guess. I hate to think you carried that guilt with you, although I doubt you regretted it. You don’t strike me as the type who regrets things in their life, especially when you worked so hard for everything,” he observes, and by the way you nod, he knows he’s right. 

“And I didn’t expect any less,” he smiles. “Things turned out well, too. Look at you, and look at this ball of sunshine you have.”

“We were okay,” you smile, taking Heejin’s hand in yours as her other one lays gently on Jungkook’s cheek. “It was tough but all my friends and family came together. And this one’s a little brat sometimes but she's the softest bean ever.”

“Takes after her mom, I see,” he jokes. 

“You seemed okay there, too,” you say, flirting with the topic of his ex-girlfriend, which you honestly still can’t get over. 

“I didn’t realize how much I missed my family. And then there was—”

His phone ringing interrupts what he meant to say, and you take Heejin from his shoulders once you see the video call prompt from a woman. 

Strapping your daughter back in her stroller, you try to busy yourself with observing your surroundings.

“Hey, lil bunny! How’s my favorite brother doing?”

Jungkook fakes a gagging face but laughs at Eun-jung. “I’m alright. Went to the park for a run. What about you guys?”

“We’re good! Just wanted to call because someone has good news for you.”

Mi-Sun runs towards the screen and jumps up and down, showing off a gold ribbon with the widest smile he’d ever seen.

“Kookie, I got an award! Look!”

“Hey there, Sunnie. That’s a nice looking ribbon. How’d you get it?” Jungkook asks in awe.

“I played the piano today and my teacher said I did good! It has my name on it, do you see it?”

She fills the screen with the ribbon and Jungkook hums then showers her with praises. 

“I’ll get daddy’s video and show you!”

She scurries somewhere and Eun-jung fills him in.

“She had her piano recital today. She was a bit nervous so I showed her the video of you wishing her luck and that helped,” Eun-jung smiles. “That’s why she wanted to mail you her ribbon but I said you’d probably lose it so she’ll just draw you a replica and we’ll send it one day.”

“See, I knew my good luck videos would help!” He says. “And that’s really sweet of her. I seriously don’t know where she got it from. Even your husband over there isn’t the most charming one.”

“Hey, I heard that!” Chang-wook yells.

“Miss you, bro!” Jungkook laughs. 

“Miss you, bro!” The older man replies, sitting next to his wife and waving. “I feel like I haven’t spoken to you in so long. How have you been, by the way, after the break up and all?”

“That was 5 months ago!” Eun-jung smacks his arm. “You’re like, way behind the news.”

“It’s because no one talked about it! You just casually mentioned that he and that florist were broken up like it was nothing.”

“Yeah, because he said it so casually to me, too,” Eun-jung says. “Did you even cry or something?”

Walking next to Jungkook, you pretend not to be affected by what you’re hearing. You were gushing earlier with how sweet and close he seems to be with his niece, and now you’re a little nervous and definitely curious with what really happened between him and Yae-won. 

“I was sad, duh. I just… I don’t cry about those things,” he responds, and it’s either he’s lying right now, or Jimin did when he said that Jungkook cried when you didn’t speak to him for weeks.

You feel him look at you from your periphery, so you walk a little faster towards the playground just a few meters away. You park the stroller by one of the benches and take Heejin’s hand to guide her towards the swing. You push her gently as she giggles, and you try to focus on her sweet sound instead of glancing at Jungkook, who’s now sitting at the bench and being so animated, perhaps marveling at his niece's gold ribbon. 

It’s around 10 minutes later - not that you’re counting - when he starts walking towards you, stopping in front of Heejin to surprise her. He stands next to you after a few more pushes, apologizing for his sister interrupting your conversation earlier. 

“Oh, don’t worry about it. You did say she’s abroad and it’s nice you two still talk like that,” you wave him off. “Plus, you seem really close with your niece. That was nice to see. I should get my siblings to make good luck videos for Heejin,” you laugh. 

“Yeah, my sister’s a worse brat than I am, nothing like her daughter. But it’s nice, you know? I don’t get to see Mi-sun grow up but the calls and videos help. I get to teach her how to bake that way.”

“Aww, that’s really sweet, Jungkook,” you smile. “So you were talking about missing your family back home and then—”

“Ma!” Heejin catches your attention, and you stop the swing then see her point towards the slide. 

“You wanna go there, bubba? That’s a slide. Do you want to play there next?”

“Ma!” She repeats, then makes the s and d sounds of the word, impatiently bouncing on the strapped swing so you unbuckle the belt and lead her towards the slide.

She makes her way up the steps, and you direct her hand on the railing for support. Jungkook comes over and says he’ll guide her there so you could wait at the bottom of the slide for her, and you agree.

You watch Jungkook try to guide Heejin, but in her toddler way, she removes his hands on her shoulders, telling him no, and you laugh at his comment that she’s too young to be that independent as he catches her before she falls face-first on one of the steps. 

“You guys okay?” You ask from where you are, as you see their figures behind the bars make it to the top.

“Yup, we ironed out our issues and we’re good, don’t worry,” he responds.

You’ve noticed Heejin’s developing curiosity, observing her surroundings then insisting on what she wants - a toy, her food, and now, what she wants to do. She likes to go about it her way, like when you ask her to identify animals, she won’t follow, choosing instead to identify colors. 

Her favorite word after Ma is no, and your own mom had commented that’s exactly how you were as a two-year old. Heejin is a little overconfident, too, thinking she’s capable of climbing up stairs when she needs a bit of help, or that she can bite a whole pear but barely making a dent. It’s like looking at the mirror sometimes and it’s absolutely amusing.

The only difference this time is that while you had your grandparents and your mom’s best friend - Byeol’s mother - helping raise you, now, Heejin has so many more. Between your siblings and your friends, there’s no shortage of the people who want to take care of her. And the man you’re with right now might just be added to the list. 

“She’s ready,” Jungkook yells, and pretty soon, down goes Heejin, giggling adorably as she meets you at the bottom of the slide. 

You go for a hug but she ignores you to run to the stairs to where Jungkook is already waiting, ready for another round. This goes on a few more times, with you and him effectively communicating, Jungkook hyping her up at the top and you praising her when she makes it safely on the other side. He peeks at you and Heejin on the ground, and you observe them before he helps her slide down.

You don’t want to think about how this looks to a stranger, but it feels good to be in this bubble with him around. You didn’t think it would be this fun, especially as you and Jungkook bicker in between. 

Around the 6th slide, Heejin has grown tired. She jumps in your open arms and starts to make biting sounds; it’s how you know she’s hungry. Like with most of her words, she starts with saying only the first syllable, then you guide her through the correct term until she’s able to say it fully. 

Jungkook runs down and asks if she’s okay, and you tell him that playtime is over and it’s time to eat. You notice how his face falls a little, and you wish you’re not that obvious yourself. You’d planned today - lunch at a nearby restaurant, nap time in the afternoon, arts and cartoons after, then dinner at your mom’s place. 

You hadn’t planned on bumping into Jungkook, but you’re really happy that you did. He’s been back for weeks and you remember how your weekends with him used to be, and a selfish part of you wants them back. 

“There’s this Asian fusion restaurant I want to try,” you say, “and this one is hungry.”

“Alright. I can walk you guys back to your car and then head out,” he says, standing next to you as you fix the stroller.

“You have a shift today, right?” You ask.

“Yeah, in the afternoon.”

“So, would you maybe like to have lunch with us? As friends,” you say, turning towards him.

You have a certain glimmer in your eyes, and your smile is one he doesn’t think he’s seen. Maybe it’s just been too long, or maybe it’s because it looks different. He knows, because it’s making him feel something different with you.

Hope.

“I’d love to,” he beams. “As friends.”

“Okay, good,” you respond, turning back to the pathway. 

You’re a little preoccupied as you turn silent, and Jungkook thinks back to how the morning has been, and the one question you perhaps have had since last week when you first saw each other after months and he’d told you about Yae-won.

“There’s something you want to know. What is it,” he initiates. 

“What happened with you and Yae-won?” You finally ask. “It’s just, you two looked happy when I saw you. I’m just wondering how it could end in a break up. But you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. I’m probably just being nosy. And maybe too forward. I—”

“I was gonna tell you anyway if you didn’t ask,” he interjects. “But, uh. Yae-won supplied the flowers at the cafe. She still does, actually. Then she became a regular and started helping us with getting the place out there. And we became really good friends. And that was really the best part about it.”

You hum, thinking it’s not much different with you and him.

“She’s outgoing and just loves trying out new things,” he continues. “Those few months of being together were incredibly fun. We would just drive out to a new town or stay up until sunrise with our two-person bonfire by the beach and just talk about the most random things. I needed that, I guess, being home and having someone to do all my hobbies with.”

He says them with softness on his face, like he’s remembering how that felt like, like it was a really good time, and you’re glad he can do that - remember someone and feel happy. You wonder if at any point he remembered you, he looked the same. 

“Then what went wrong?” You ask.

“I realized we were much better as friends,” he responds. “It took some time but she realized that, too, eventually. And uh,” he stalls, waiting for you to face him, which you do.

“The intense feelings, the desire, the vision of a life together… I know what that’s like. And it wasn’t like that with her.”

You feel your heart stop at this, at his words that seem to comfort yet scare you at the same time because of, ironically, how certain they are. Because with the way he looks at you, you know he’s referring to you. For all that he is, anytime he talks about you, there’s this confident and unwavering tone. Acceptance, even, of what he feels, and of what you feel, or don’t feel.

He holds your gaze and it shouldn’t surprise you that you want to get lost in his eyes, because much as you’re confused about how you feel, his certainty is the one you need, the one you want to hang onto.

“You looked really happy though, when I saw you guys,” you say again, wanting any kind of confirmation.

You look away, feeling like you’re not ready for all of this, all at once. 

“I was. But that was different.”

“Different from what?”

“From before that. From right now.”

“How?”

“Do you really wanna know? Because I’ll tell you everything,” he responds, voice shaking for the first time. “But I don’t want to scare you, I don’t want to rush you and push you away by asking you to be close. I’ll take what you’ll give, whatever it is you’re ready to. It’s been so long and I just wanna be around you again like this. Let’s start here. If that’s okay.”

It’s what makes you smile. There’s still the man you know, that you learned to enjoy spending time with over two years ago. What he’d been since you saw him back last week is everything you remember - cheeky, bold, sweet, dependable, and incredibly caring, sometimes more than you deserve. 

It’s also what you need - that honesty, that assurance, that trust.

“Then we’ll start here,” you say, your face softening at how soft he looks. “And then we’ll see how it goes.”

“I’d like that,” he replies, remembering the words he’d told you those years ago, the change in you giving him more hope.

You exchange smiles before he helps you secure Heejin in the car seat then loads the stroller in the trunk before heading to the passenger seat. You laugh at him smelling himself before entering, assuring you that there’s nothing to worry about, and the short drive to the restaurant is spent narrating Heejin’s antics and him sharing about the nieces and nephews he spent a lot of time with back home.

Lunch goes by well, the comfort from before seeming like it never left. It’s a little different with Heejin now in the picture, though, as his eyes flit to her every few minutes, especially when your own daughter is trying to get his attention. She’d stare at him with curious eyes and aher mouth open when he’s about to eat, and you and Jungkook jointly chuckle as he’d feed her a tiny piece of the dumpling or broiled chicken.

He makes sure to let her drink water after a few mouthfuls, though, and wipes her chin when it spills there. 

“Hey, you don’t have to,” you stop him. “I asked you to lunch, not to babysit her.”

“Jealous? I can feed you, too, if you want,” he smirks. 

“That’s something I can do perfectly on my own, thank you very much,” you nudge his shin. “But I mean it, she’ll get used to it. She lets the others do that for her, too.”

“Others?” He asks, a bit worriedly.

“Tae, Joon, Park, Min. Jin, too, even if he can’t seem to nail down the appropriate size for her,” you chuckle. 

He’s quiet for a little bit before he asks. “So did you, uh, see anyone the past 2 years?”

“Jungkook, what happened between us was because of me, not you,” you remind him. “I didn’t have time to get into anything. Not with you, not with anyone after you. Dating just wasn’t part of the plan.”

“And now?”

“Now, well, this little one is still a handful. Work still takes up so much of my time, most men still suck,” you laugh. “But I’m open to it. It’s just gonna be tough and maybe take a while.”

You see his lips turn up in the sexiest way, with his dimples popping up, trying to stop it from getting even wider. You have to stop yourself from smiling too much, too, as the thought of him wanting to try with you makes you nervous and excited at the same time.

“Relieved?” You tease. 

“Let’s just say, you’re not an easy person to forget, Kim ___,” he looks intensely at you. 

“But like you said, we’ll start here,” you circle back, tearing away from his gaze before you get lost in it again. 

“Here is good, ___. Here is good.”

**

Two years is a long time. It’s what you tell yourself the night after you have lunch with Jungkook and then the next day when you spend it with Byeol and Namjoon and their other halves. 

You didn’t give yourself the chance to figure out what you felt for Jungkook when he was around and even when he was away - up until 6 months ago, at least. But with him being back, with the wave of emotions that came with him, and the time in between when you felt what it was like without him, you tell yourself you don’t want to stand in the way of another kind of happiness this time. 

Even Heejin’s, as you recall how she spent that morning laughing at and with Jungkook who seemed to enjoy making her smile, too. You’d told your friends before that you weren’t looking for a father for her, but that was a defense mechanism you had so you wouldn’t bring yourself to regret a decision you made because you didn’t know how to handle the consequences. 

While you tell yourself that Heejin doesn’t need a father because yours left when you were young, if there’s a chance that someone comes around, then you don’t want your daughter to miss out on that experience just because you and your siblings managed without one, especially if the potential partner is someone as great as Jungkook. 

You see your mother with Jung-jae, how happy he makes her, and how happy that makes you. It’s a different kind of joy seeing people you love be loved greatly, you realize. 

But then again, being your partner is different from being a father altogether, and it’s not as simple as just deciding you like Jungkook and wanting to be with him and him feeling the same. You and Heejin are a package, and there’s so much baggage you carry that you don’t know if he’ll be ready for them.

“I’m sure Jungkook knows,” Namjoon assured you during dinner the next week when his mom brought so much food and he had you and Byeol over. “He wouldn’t have tried and stayed when you were pregnant for him to not accept what comes with being with you.”

And Namjoon’s right. Jungkook had always respected your wishes, your time, your boundaries, your decisions, and not once did he complain, not once did he show bitterness, or even make you feel bad for what you did. 

You don’t find people like that just anywhere. Life can surprise you and you'd miss out on a lot if you don’t let it, they reminded you. 

And you try to let it, like this whole week when you passed by the cafe for to-go drinks because of hearings and meetings, and every time, Jungkook left little notes on your cup. 

Show them who’s boss, okay? But don’t scare them too much! :p

Good luck on your hearing today and don’t forget to eat. :)

Tell Heejin her mom looked so beautiful today, I almost fainted. 

That last one was yesterday after he asked if he could compliment your look and you shyly nodded. 

You were donned in a blazer dress that let you exude enough confidence and power and femininity with your gold pumps and red lipstick. His message earned him a roll of your eyes, though you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling the entire ride to the hotel for a business meeting, and you felt like a teenager who couldn’t get over her crush telling her she’s pretty.

It’s mid-afternoon the next day, the start of the weekend, and you find yourself at the lone long table amidst smaller ones for the other customers at the Blue Side’s rooftop for the seasonal event. You’ve got your whole family with you, your best friends, and your work friends. 

Hobi and his team prepared a menu of sweet and savory desserts featuring fall flavors meant to make you feel warm and cozy - from sweet rice bars, to prosciutto and fruits puff pastry, roasted pears, and apple dumplings. You finally got to try the persimmon tart that Jungkook has been raving about, and marveled at his other upgraded and delicate-looking dishes like the parfait with macarons and the mille feuille he was teasing you with. 

The sweetened rice drinks and teas are the perfect match, and the most amazing part about the afternoon was Jungkook preparing Heejin her own set of toddler-appropriate desserts - apple crumble, poached pear, and a mini persimmon cake. 

“Don’t want to leave the little one out,” he says, as you say your thanks again, especially as you see her bright eyes scan the food, which she eventually wipes out. 

Seeing Jungkook in his element was always enjoyable for you. You’ve seen him whip up a dish with all the things you were craving and try out a recipe he’d never done before. You’ve watched him present his desserts like he’d been doing them for years and years, and you didn’t realize how much you missed that, too. 

There’s a glimmer in his eyes whenever he serves and talks about what’s next on the menu, the excitement bursting out of him when someone - usually Sun-hee or Taehyung - asks about the ingredients he used, and the pride when someone - usually your mom - praises his work. 

You can’t help but follow him when he moves, the smile not leaving his lips even when he’s being pulled from one table to another. You try to focus on the conversations happening at your table, but it’s hard when Jungkook keeps catching your attention, especially in his oddly tight jeans and pale yellow button-up polo that's rolled up to his elbows. His locks have gone back to black, and today you find out his hair parting on the side is your weakness.

You don’t notice your eyebrows furrowing until Byeol nudges your arm. 

“Looks like you’re not the only one captivated by your man, huh,” she laughs, motioning towards the table where Jungkook is, with all 4 women’s mouths hanging open and their eyes focused on him and the way he moves. 

You can see how they eye his tattooed arm, the biceps popping out of his polo, and how their eyes trace his face, and that familiar feeling of jealousy bubbles inside you.

Yuri must’ve heard, as she turns to where he is then surveys the area. “Is there a reason why, aside from our table, there are barely any male customers? Is Jungkook the reason? Are they here for the food or for him?”

“Could be both,” Hobi emerges from the bar nearby. “I mean, with that face and these dishes? Why not? A lot of those are regulars, but some of them probably bought slots because of my brilliant idea of having him model in the promos for this,” he laughs. “Now they’ll be regulars, too!”

“Can confirm,” Jimin now joins in. “I overheard some of them looking for Kook and hoping he’s not wearing his apron or something.”

You choke on your drink at that because, well, same.

“They were gushing about you, too, though, Hobi. They were wondering if it’s a requirement to be attractive to work here,” Jimin winks.

“Ah, well, we regularly get business cards in the tip jar and I found a napkin with a number on it a while ago so…” Hobi blushes. “Anyway, looks like it’s a hit and this is probably gonna happen again. I hope you liked it, guys, and thank you for coming.”

“It was amazing, Hobi,” you compliment, the rest of the table agreeing. “And to have this little one join in on the fun with her own desserts, that’s pretty special and top notch service.”

“Thanks,” he chuckles, “although I’d say that’s more of Jungkook wanting to impress the daughter of the woman he’s apparently still into, so, that’s on him. I’m pretty sure he didn’t make Subin’s as special as what Heejin got. Sorry, Namjoon and Ma-ri.”

Everyone laughs, and you feel your cheeks warm despite the cool weather, especially with the rest of your family and friends teasing. Sun-hee cupping your face and saying you’re getting flustered and then squealing catches Jungkook’s attention, as he glances at your table curiously before putting up a thumbs up sign directed at you and mouthing are you okay. 

“Everyone, shush. We are adults who are friends and have decided to, you know, sort of see how things go,” you try to say with a straight face.

“Yup, friends who had a park and lunch date,” Yoongi reveals.

“And friends who totally enjoy flirting through messages on to-go cups,” Hobi laughs. 

He responds to your wide eyes by saying that Jungkook’s on kitchen duty in the mornings but asks Dea to tell him when you’re there so he could prepare your drinks and leave a note on your order.

“Please let this end well. I’m gonna have another heart attack the next time Jungkook burns everything and wastes my ingredients because he’s too sad,” Hobi continues.

“You called me?” Jungkook jogs next to his boss.

“Nah, we were just teasing you and ___.”

“Is she getting flustered?”

“Yup!” Many from your table respond.

“Okay, keep going,” he winks at you, then heads down to the cafe, perhaps to the kitchen.

“Oh, honey. Let yourself feel all this,” your mom says as you shake your head at his teasing. “It’s nice to give into love, you know? It’s absolutely beautiful.”

She leans on Jung-jae who kisses her forehead, and you’re glad that the attention shifts to them, as Sun-hee not-so-discreetly asks when they plan to get married. 

You know with Jungkook, it’s far from love, but it’s definitely something. Things start from this superficial feeling of excitement and joy, you think. You’d typically think of every single step after, but not right now. Jungkook is making you feel all kinds of emotions that you didn’t think you’d ever feel, and it’s already surprising you.

The sun has already set by the time you all decide to leave and let the staff clean up. As you’d expected, most of the guests are still here, ordering bottles of wine that Hobi had smartly made a staple in the cafe for nights like this. 

Heejin is asleep in your arms as you ready to head out. All the sugar made her active, and you’re thankful for your siblings taking turns in skipping around with her to expend her energy. Now, they’re used up, and though getting heavy at this point, you don’t mind. You like it when Heejin clings to you like this. 

You’re waving goodbye to the staff when you hear your name being called. You turn around to see Jungkook and resist the urge to wipe the sweat trickling down the side of his head, as he’d been on-the-go all afternoon. 

“Did you enjoy it?” He asks.

“Of course, Jungkook. They were all wonderful. I’m so happy for you guys. I can’t wait for the next one.”

“Me, too,” he says. “Looks like this little sunshine enjoyed it as well.” 

He caresses her cheeks and smiles at her soft breathing, and resists the urge to do the same with you.

“Can I call you tonight?” He asks, his gaze holding yours, hoping he gets to have a moment with you after the tiring day he’s had.

“Some of them are coming over at my place,” you respond, his face falling a little. “But you can come over after you clean up here. And you can stay, if you want.”

“That sounds better,” he excitedly smiles. “I’ll see you, then.”

It’s past 10 that night when he arrives, just as your friends are about to leave. He’s apologetic that it took so long, but you say that you don’t mind. You’re sure he’s tired but he insists on staying even just a while; the more he wants to see you, he says, because he barely got to speak to you today. 

So you agree, and you spend the next three hours talking about work and food over the tartlets he made for you. And that night, you sleep with the biggest smile on your face and your heart leaping out of your chest. 

**

It’s easy to be charmed by Jungkook. There’s this youthful radiance about him that’s insanely attractive, in addition to his already gorgeous features, and underneath that is this thoughtfulness and care that just makes you feel comforted, that makes you naturally trust him. 

You’re at least not the only one captivated by it. Your family and friends seem to be, thanks in part to his delicious desserts and the free ones they occasionally get. Heejin isn’t immune to his charms as well. Since that fall event when he made her little desserts that she thoroughly enjoyed, you’d noticed her slowly finding comfort in him, too.

It’s why when Jungkook offered to babysit her for the morning, you couldn’t say no, not when Heejin practically had her arms out when he approached you at your table in the cafe earlier, worry painted on his face at the sight of panic on yours.

Your usual babysitter was supposed to come by your place, but when she didn’t show up, you decided to head to Blue Side and asked her to meet you there instead since it’s nearer to her place. But she apparently had food poisoning and couldn’t make it, so you went about figuring out who would be taking Heejin for the day. 

You told Jin you could have your afternoon meeting virtually, but it’s the morning one with a client that you can’t miss, and with none of your loved ones available to care for her, you decided on your last resort which is daycare. Heejin has her moods and this morning, she woke up a little crankier than normal so you knew that being around other kids would frustrate her.

Stood in front of you in his balloon denim pants and jacket over his usual plaid shirt, Jungkook asked what was wrong and he immediately volunteered as the morning’s babysitter.

“I’m closing shift,” he said. “I’m just here because I needed to check on some things since Hobi is in Gwangju. That means I’m free. I can look after Heejin, don’t worry.”

“Are you sure?” You asked. “Wouldn’t you want to be resting or gaming or working out?”

“Those are good options except I did them yesterday, and playing with the little sunshine is something I wouldn’t mind at all.”

You weighed your options, knowing he's a good choice and a man you trust, so you agreed. You told Heejin that Jungkook will be with her today and even if she didn’t understand, the fact that she immediately wrapped her arms around his neck and excitedly said Kookoo when he asked her who he was, was enough to let you know that she wouldn’t mind at all, too.

And so you’re standing here, at your apartment living room, giving Jungkook all the information he needs - from Heejin’s doctor’s details to the nearest police station in case there’s an emergency, and the step-by-step process of feeding her and changing her diapers and what to do when she starts yelling and throwing her toys.

“I took care of toddlers, ___,’” he assures. “And they’re a lot rowdier and more spoiled than this little one. We’re gonna be okay.”

“Okay,” you sigh in relief. 

You lead him to the nursery and point to everything essential for the day. 

“She has a schedule. I woke her up early so she’s probably gonna be sleepy. Make sure she has her baby blanket on her legs,” you say. “And please don’t encourage her to do weird things like lick cream off her face or put tiny things in her nose.”

“Why the heck would I do that?” He gasps.

“You put a marble in your nose when you were a kid and enjoyed it, Jungkook,” you deadpan. “I feared for your mother. And you laughed when she was panicking.”

“I was 5 and Ma was being dramatic,” he defends. “I loved pranking her when I was a kid. One time I ran into the house saying I got bit by a snake and showed my ketchup-stained leg and she started crying. We don’t have snakes at home, ___.”

“Why are you like this?”

“Because it was hilarious!” He laughs. “But come on, I’m a very responsible adult. And I would never teach someone else’s kid those things.”

“But you’d teach your kid?” You cock an eyebrow.

“Yes, if their mother is fun to annoy,” he smirks.

“Good luck to your kid’s mother, then,” you chuckle, taking Heejin’s hand and kissing it.

“Hey, I’m a little childish sometimes but I have my moments,” he turns serious. “Heejin and I will just play and have fun and I will behave. You have the baby monitors linked to your phone so you can check up on us. It means a lot that you’re even trusting me to do this and I’m not gonna screw this up because, well, I adore this child and having you hate me is the last thing I ever want to happen.”

“Okay,” you smile, knowing he’s right. 

You trust him so much, that’s the truth and the thing that worries you, because it seems so easy for you to let this man into your home and care for the most important person in your life, and this once, you don’t want to think of what that really means. 

You explain to Heejin once more that Jungkook will be staying with her and that you’ll be home soon, and you hug her tightly one last time before you head out the door and into your car. 

It’s five minutes later when you check the monitor and see Jungkook standing in front of the camera with Heejin in his arms, waving at you with his adorable, boyish smile, his bright eyes shining behind his bucket hat. You let out a smile because he just knew you’d be checking them out right away.

Glancing at your phone has become second-nature to you already, as you wonder what the two are up to. From the car ride to the walk to your client’s residence, you’re constantly looking at your phone. 

“So early to be waiting for texts, huh,” Jin teases as you both sit in one of the lavish studies, waiting for the company’s President and his wife to arrive. “Jungkook in the afternoon shift?”

“Actually, he’s at my place,” you inform your colleague, showing your phone and the scene in your living room where Heejin had finally gone back to sleep.

She’s on the sofa, which is big enough for her to lie in comfortably, arms splayed out. You can imagine her parted mouth and soft breathing as she hopefully dreams of cupcakes and ice cream.

“He’s babysitting? Wow, that’s quite the step-up,” Jin observes. “Your babysitters went through intense interviews and background checks and you even met each worker at her daycare and now you have Jungkook taking care of her just like that.”

“Don’t be dramatic,” you frown at him. “I didn’t have any other option because she was cranky this morning and didn’t even want to leave the house and Jungkook offered. And I actually really trust him with her. He made her desserts and now he has her heart.”

“Like mother, like daughter, huh?” He cocks an eyebrow, earning him a scowl. “It’s cute, though. I feel like he’s the type who’d make Heejin run around and play as much as she wants to but would be so soft and gentle with her, like now.”

Jin motions to your screen and you see Jungkook pull down her shirt that’s gone up her belly again after moving so much, which she does a lot when she sleeps. He gently pushes her deeper into the couch and carefully rearranges the pillows around her, then properly lays her favorite blanket on her legs and then removes the strand of hair on her face. He looks at her briefly before he returns to his seat on the other end of the couch and turns to his phone.

“He’s like a natural,” Jin voices out. “Like he could actually be a good dad. What do you think?”

“Don’t put ideas in my head, Jin.”

“I’m sure you’ve thought about it. You can’t not, I know you. With the way you seem to be entertaining the idea of being with him? I’m pretty sure this is a test of some sort.”

“Shut up,” you say, not wanting to think or say more.

He isn’t entirely wrong though, but any prospect for you includes being a prospect for Heejin, too. And it just so happens that Jungkook is amazing with kids, especially yours, and anyone whose heart she has, has yours as well.

Jin teasingly smirks at you right as your clients arrive, and you spend the next 2.5 hours discussing a case you weren’t expecting - a sexual harassment suit against the son of a senior government official. The family said they wanted you specifically to represent their daughter. They’d seen some of your trials and have heard about your pro bono work helping single mothers and other women and they just knew you’d fight just as hard for a case like this. 

To have a powerful family ask you to do this to expose the deplorable actions of a public servant’s son says a lot. The backlash would be insane and their company could be at risk; the country isn’t one that favors its women, after all. 

But Ms. Han knows that those who have less power and resources are too scared to speak up, and if she’d be the first one to do it so the perpetrator, whom you’ve heard from your government connections is exactly what she says he is, would at least feel the effect of what he’d done, then she’d do it. 

You’d looked at women who’d experienced what she did in the eyes and saw the same things in hers - fear, apprehension, desperation, strength. And you tell her the same things you’d told them. “We’ll fight this. I’m with you, and we’ll do everything we can to let him pay for what he's done.”

“We’ll get him. This isn’t the first time but it’s a powerful family speaking up now. We might have a chance,” Jin tells you. 

He calls your team to meet for lunch and go over the assignments in building the case, turning to you to say it won’t take long but they’ll take your lead. 

“Yeah, it’s okay. Better to get started on this now,” you respond.

You get into your car and look at the monitor to see Heejin now awake, jumping up and down the couch as Jungkook holds her hands. He guides her to the floor where they both start dancing to something you assume is playing on the TV, and you laugh at their hips moving and the way they’re both into the moves and the song. 

It’s amazing how seeing your daughter laugh can easily rid you of the stress you’re under. Her eyes are closed and you turn up the volume to hear her squealing. She takes Jungkook’s hands and lets him twirl her, and then he makes some exaggerated dance moves, causing her to laugh again. 

This goes on for the duration of your ride to the restaurant and in the private room for your meeting, and by the time you’re seated, you see Jungkook doing a handstand, with Heejin next to him clapping excitedly. He stretches his legs into a line, then does it in the other direction. Jungkook stands back up but does the handstand again at your daughter’s insistence.

[To: Jungkook] Careful, you might break your neck. You look a little rusty.

It’s a few seconds before he checks his phone. He laughs then looks up the monitor with a sly smile.

[From: Jungkook] creep

You snort at this and Jin gives you a knowing look.

[To: Jungkook] Seriously though. Don’t let her bully you into doing those things. She’s recently gotten into acrobatic stuff so she probably won’t make you stop 

[From: Jungkook] it’s fine. she’s laughing so hard it’s adorable. it’ll probably tire her so she might be asleep when you have your meeting 

[To: Jungkook] Hmm, that’s true. But you still have a shift. Don’t use up all your energy.

[From: Jungkook] psh I’ll have you know I have amazing stamina. I don’t get tired 😏

[To: Jungkook] Creep. Anyway, I’ll just have a quick lunch meeting. I’ll let you know when I’m on the way home.

[From: Jungkook] we’ll just be here. have fun ☺️

You turn to Jin who lets you preside over the meeting, and you discuss your plan of action and delegate tasks. You glance at your phone as you do, with your colleagues not minding at all and even asking what Jungkook and Heejin are up to, with you responding that they’ve now finished PE class and are doing Music. They laugh along as you briefly show your screen, with Jungkook letting Heejin play the little drum that Jimin got her for her birthday. You see him play for her, guide her hand, and give her an applause and a high five. 

You’re suddenly overcome with a feeling of yearning, as you want nothing more than to be there with them. You want to hear her laugh, and him, too. You want to marvel at his smile, at his scrunched nose, at his bright eyes, the way you do at your daughter’s everyday. 

Your meeting finally ends and you message Jungkook that you’re on the way home. 

You enter your apartment and see both of them seated on the floor, playing with the tea set, and when you call Heejin’s name, she stands up and runs towards you.

“Ma! Tea! And cookies!” She yells, wrapping her arms around you. “Kookoo and cookies. Eat, Ma, eat.”

You kiss her cheeks and say that yes, you’ll both eat with Kookoo, and pass the bag of takeout to Jungkook.

“I got Thai from where we had lunch. You should eat before you head to your shift.”

“Oh, thanks, ___. You didn’t have to,” he says, going to your kitchen to prepare them.

“You spent your morning with Heejin, Jungkook, and you made yourself silly with your dance moves to make her laugh. Lunch isn’t enough,” you respond.

“And I had the best time,” he states. “Jinnie thinks I’m funny. She’s just like you.”

“Correction, I think you’re silly,” you chuckle. “And Jinnie? Having nicknames with my daughter now?”

“She started it,” he shrugs. “But she likes it. She kept repeating it to me. While pulling both my piercings, actually. I almost lost my lip.”

“She does that repeating thing a lot,” you say. “But really, thank you. I’m glad your face is still intact,” you chuckle, knowing Heejin can get a little rowdy sometimes. “And I know I kept watching but I was at ease the whole time she was with you. I needed that.”

“Everything okay?” He asks, as you both take your seats and you cut the noodles and satay for Heejin.

“Yeah. It’s just, any sexual harassment case we get is a tough one,” you say. “We’ve had several that had to be dropped and I just hope it won’t happen with this. It’d be big if we win it.”

He smiles at you tenderly, the playful look on his face softening.

“You’re gonna do great, I know it,” Jungkook says, always with so much confidence when it comes to you.

“You don’t know that,” you sigh. “It’s an entire system and culture we go against every time we take these things on.”

“I know you, though,” he counters. “Win or not, you’re gonna fight hard and make people get behind you. And whatever small win you’ll get is gonna make a difference. You know that, right?”

You nod, comforted by his words. It’s hard being a woman, especially in the field you’re in, and you know that with every case you take, you’re fighting for more than just your client. 

But you do this so you can try to make this place a safe one for your daughter, too. It wasn’t easy for your mom, nor is it for you, and even for your sisters, and you want to fight these battles so you can help create an environment where Heejin would feel safe to do what she wants, love whom she wants, and be what she wants. You do this not just so you can teach her to fight for herself and others, but also to create a world where she doesn’t have to. 

“Thank you,” you smile, and you and Jungkook proceed to talk about the morning and how much energy Heejin had. 

“Just let me know if you need me to look after her again, okay?” Jungkook says. “I can always work around my shifts and I wouldn’t mind.”

“That sounds good and I’ll definitely take note of that.”

Lunchtime ends and after Heejin’s post-meal ritual, she yawns and promptly falls asleep on the couch. Your laptop is set up on the dining table where you can watch her, and with your internal meeting happening in a few minutes, you take your seat as you wait for Jungkook to finish in the bathroom before he leaves. 

You can’t deny the tiny part of you that wants him to stay, even if you’d told him that you didn’t need him to. 

Jin and Yoongi appear on screen, saying that the other senior and junior partners are on their way to the conference room from another meeting. 

“So how was—”

“Hey, ___, I’ll go ahead,” Jungkook cuts Jin without knowing. “You sure you don’t want me to stay?”

“Oh, is that Jungkook I hear?” Yoongi looks amused. 

“Hi, Yoongi! Hi, Jin!” Jungkook peaks from behind you and waves at them. 

“You’re there… on a work day… when ___ is working from home,” Yoongi eyes you curiously.

“Oh, shut it. He offered to look after Heejin this morning because the babysitter couldn’t make it,” you clarify. “And he’s just about to head out for his shift.”

“Hmm, okay,” Yoongi smirks. 

“Anyway, I’ll go ahead,” Jungkook says. “Just text me if you need anything, okay? Or for whatever reason, actually. I’d like that.”

You don’t trust yourself that your voice won’t crack so you just nod and bite your lips to keep you from smiling too widely.  

He whispers goodbye to Heejin and looks at you before he walks out the door, leaving you a giddy mess. 

“I wonder when she’s gonna admit she has it hard?” You hear Yoongi say. “That’s over two years of pent up emotions.”

“Nah, she’s too proud for that,” replies Jin.

“I’m here, you know,” you frown at your friends. “And I’m not exactly denying anything, which is a change from how forward I was to him before.”

“Yeah, but you’re not admitting to anything, either,” Yoongi points out. “But it’s ironic, isn’t it? Heejin was why you didn’t want to be with Jungkook before. Now she’s the one bringing you both together. I hope you don’t walk away from him a second time around, especially not when he’s making you feel the way he does.”

“And you always say how much you want to show your daughter how it’s important to fight for yourself,” Jin adds. “You know it’s important to show her that happiness matters, too, and just like her mom, she shouldn’t just let things pass her by.”

“I know, and I’m learning,” you respond.

“To what?” They both ask.

“To allow him to make me happy? To not think that things are gonna get screwed up the moment they start going well?”

Your friends hum as the other partners start filling the room, and you all focus on the meeting that lasts the entire afternoon. 

Later that evening, you think about how Jungkook looked with Heejin earlier in the morning as you cradle her in your arms after her bedtime story, how excited she looked when she was dancing with him, and how she pouted when you said he’d leave after she took her nap. 

The old you would be worrying that your daughter’s slowly getting attached, but when so are you, maybe it isn’t so bad.

[From: Jungkook] did Jinnie sleep late? she seemed to have a good nap earlier 😅

[To: Jungkook] Yeah, someone tired her out. Then she wanted me to dance when she woke up. No thanks to you, my daughter probably thinks I’m boring 

[From: Jungkook] nah, she has the coolest mom ever 😏 so did you dance?

[To: Jungkook] I did. But she didn’t look impressed. She was looking for you after 

[From: Jungkook]  oh Jinnie. I miss her already 😩

[From: Jungkook] was she really looking for me? or is that her mom speaking? 🤔

[To: Jungkook] Shut up. I’d tell you if I want to see you again.

[From: Jungkook] and???

[To: Jungkook] I do. 

[To: Jungkook] I’ll drop by the cafe early tomorrow for breakfast. Join me before your shift?

[From: Jungkook] YES 

[From: Jungkook] I mean, yes of course. Ok, I’ll sleep now so I can see you sooner 

[To: Jungkook] That’s not how it works but okay haha I’ll see you tomorrow!

##

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[ao3feed-jaytim]

Unexpected Places

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/40707180 by AnonDude Tim has enlisted Jason's help with an apparently very urgent new case: he's decided he needed to stop being single, like, yesterday, and is prepared to date his way through the entire superhero-vigilante community if that's what it takes. And, while Jason was really (really) not pleased to be helping at first, the two of them start to get along swimmingly, and start to make real progress on Tim's so far uncrackable case. So everything should be going great. Right? Unfortunately, Jason may be falling just a little bit in love, and is definitely not in the list of possible candidates. Yeah, his acting skills are gonna be getting a little bit of a workout for the foreseeable future, aren't they? Awesome. Maybe dying a second time wouldn't be that bad, really. Words: 7386, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 13 of JayTim works Fandoms: DCU (Comics), DCU Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Jason Todd, Tim Drake, (offscreen) Kon-El | Conner Kent, (offscreen) Bart Allen, (offscreen) Cassie Sandsmark, (offscreen) Cissie King-Jones, (offscreen) Garfield Logan, (offscreen) Cassandra Cain, (offscreen) Jonathan Kent, (offscreen) Damian Wayne, (offscreen) Lorena Marquez Relationships: Tim Drake/Jason Todd, Tim/a SHITLOAD of people (mostly not even mentioned by name), background implied Stephanie Brown/Cassandra Cain, background implied Jonathan Kent/Damian Wayne Additional Tags: Getting Together, Pining, Dramatic Jason Todd, so many dates, so many spectacular failures, (Damian is not one of the dates), also everyone else Tim is with are all v v briefly and offscreen, tho he does kiss some of them and have sex with two of them, POV Jason Todd, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, (well. more like Tim is perfectly fine w Jay at first, but Jay is EXTREMELY pissed off at Tim, so not necessarily enemies but I don't have a better tag), Smut, Eventual Smut, kinda. the beginning. fade to black., (oh & if ur wondering why I tagged the characters if they're offscreen, it's because all of the ones I tagged have a specific scene dedicated to them, they're just not technically IN it. it's just Tim talking to Jay about it), v long tags im so sorry read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/40707180

[hanmasushi]

MONTERO (Short Bonten! Scenario)

What happens when you're the new recruit and the only woman in Bonten.

warning ✁ suggestive content, slight cursing, mentions of alcohol and drugs. third person pov. fem!reader. Bonten Men !! Short scenario.

a/n ✁ uhh im just gonna leave it here bye.

wc ✁ 1.6k

ost ✁ Montero by Lil Nas X (pink fonts are lyric references to the song)

For a moment she’d forgotten how she got roped in the situation she was in now. Slightly intoxicated yet she felt more in control than she’d ever been. She smiled as she felt warm hands on her ass, allowing herself to be pulled.

She only briefly remembers receiving a text from Akashi indicating a time and place. It was a famous club in downtown Tokyo and it was set at a later time of the night. She knew she was going to get dressed. She’d only been part of Bonten for a week, as per Akashi’s recommendation, and she could already tell they were an expensive bunch.

She had her long hair tucked in a neat bun, a black coat covering her body while sporting a fresh makeup look. She was decent enough, but she brought extra paraphernalias just in case she’d need them.

Hours passed by and they were now on the upper deck of the club overlooking the crowd, hectic laser lights and constant color shift filling in the venue along with the loud booming of trap music. She still didn’t know what their course of action was but she knew this was an urgent mission. With Akashi, Sanzu, Kokonoi, Ran, and Rindou, basically the majority of the important Bonten figures present, this mission was definitely something that shouldn’t be taken lightly.

This was her first mission, she wasn’t an executive but Akashi made the point to make her tag along. She was being tested, she suspected. She was about to ask when Akashi beat her to it, he was leaning into the railings with a fresh lit cigarette at hand.

“I had an informant of mine saying that crucial information about Bonten was being sold to our biggest rival gangs in Tokyo. And no, there was no mole this time. Information was stolen from us by a notorious hacker. It was said that he was selling it for a considerably expensive price. We couldn’t do anything stupid like attacking him in his own base because a few clicks could mean Bonten’s demise. So I heard that he was going to do the exchange an hour from now. What we’re looking for is a small flash drive, it was said that it’s the only copy to exist that he made. The outcome of this mission could mean the rise or fall of Bonten.” Akashi said in a casual manner, he was now halfway done with his cigarette.

“That’s him.” Sanzu pointed to a guy in the middle of a crowd. It was a lanky guy in a worn out band tee, dark flannel jacket and black skinny jeans.

“Him?” she couldn’t help blurt out but she was positive she could take him out in hand-to-hand combat. The guy looked clearly out of place considering he was like a boy undergoing puberty eyeing every woman he could lay his gaze on, awkwardly nodding as he took a sip of his drink. She was getting secondhand embarrassment just by looking at him.

“Don’t be fooled, he may seem harmless but he’s smart enough to hire guards around him. Getting close to him will not be easy.” Ran pointed around a bunch of beefed up men not too far from the hacker, blending right into the crowd.

“Besides, creating casualties in a crowd like this is not ideal.” Rindou added.

“Best route of action is to wait till he gets out of the club, and beat the other gang to it. Then we’ll have dollface over here, take the drive and make a run for it.” Koko said as he looked at her with his usual smug expression.

“So your plan is to wait for how many ungodly hours and make me an errand girl? Well that’s fucking sexist.” She said trying not to lose her composure, talk about workplace discrimination.

“You got a better plan?” Sanzu loomed over her, his pills having been taking effect considering he was starting to get maniacal and chaotic by the minute.

“Actually, I do.” She said as she started taking her bun and letting her long hair loose. She then took off her coat revealing a black corset mesh mini dress, hugging her figure tightly. “And I'll bet you I can do it in less than three minutes.” She was now applying a crimson shade of lipstick that she pulled out from her purse, she was right about needing her paraphernalia, instantly transforming her fresh glam into a sultry one.

“Yeah right.” Sanzu scoffed. She then shoved her coat and purse into Rindou’s empty arms. Rindou was about to protest because he thought she was going to jeopardize the mission but Ran held him back, he wanted to see how this one plays out.

She was already downstairs blending in the crowd, she was gonna need liquid luck if she wanted to be believable. She downed three shots of vodka before she took one look at her new superiors as if to say “watch me”. That was when Montero by Lil Nas X played and the entire mood of the dancefloor shifted as the smoke machines and lights made the atmosphere more alluring. With smoke filling the air as the lights faded out into purple red blue hues, oh she was in the zone.

I caught it bad yesterday

You hit me with a call to your place

Ain't been out in a while anyway

Was hopin' I could catch you throwin' smiles in my face

It hadn’t been a minute since she downed the vodka but she could feel her body heating up. She was swaying her hips delicately, instantly catching the attention of beautiful strangers around her. She had to gather up momentum if she didn’t want to be suspected.

Romantic talkin'? You don't even have to try

You're cute enough to fuck with me tonight

She let herself be the center of intoxicated strangers, her plan was to make him notice her. It wasn’t long till she caught the hacker’s attention, all she had to do was make him long for her.

Call me when you want, call me when you need

Call me in the morning, I'll be on the way

Call me when you want, call me when you need

Call me out by your name, I'll be on the way like

She never broke eye contact as she continued exchanging body heat with strangers. Swaying off synching into the beat of the song. She had her way of making the man focus on her. Teasing as if she was challenging him to be brave and get closer.

With a different man’s hands around her, she wanted him to feel envious of what was in front of him. That’s when he took the bait, he took one last sip of his drink as if to say fuck it. She knew she was winning the moment he let his guard down. He made his way to her, she was trying to suppress her laughter as she thought of how the alcohol he consumed made him feel that he was desired by a woman like her.

Mmm, mmm, mmm

Mmm, mmm, mmm

For a moment she’d forgotten how she got roped in the situation she was in now. Slightly intoxicated yet she felt more in control than she’d ever been. She smiled as she felt warm hands on her ass, allowing herself to be pulled. She played along, taking his lead, she definitely wasn’t raising any alarms. He was a terrible dancer, she thought. All he had going on was groping her intimate parts of the body. Just a bit more, she continued grinding on the man behind her, feeling him. In the corner of her eyes she could see the executives. Ran, Kokonoi and Sanzu were amused. Akashi still bearing the same neutral look as he smoked another cigarette. Rindou, on the other hand, was shocked at the display. It was near the end of the song when she knew she had to start wrapping things up.

For the finale, she thought she’d surprise them even more by turning around and pulling the guy into a deep kiss.

Oh, call me by your name (mmm, mmm, mmm)

Tell me you love me in private

His hands still on her ass, she decided to take advantage of the situation as she delicately slipped her hands in one of his pockets till she thought BINGO, she’d found the motherload.

Call me by your name (mmm, mmm, mmm)

I do not care if you lyin'

As she broke off the kiss, the man felt like he was still in trance. It took him a moment to realize she was slowly pulling away. He opened his eyes, she gave him one last flirtatious look before she disappeared into the crowd.

Well I'm just feelin', mm-uh

I wanna get, mm-uh

I'm in my, into my, uh

I'm mm, mm

I'm still, mm, mm-mm

The entire time the executives were definitely taken aback from the sudden explicit display.

Seconds later, she was back in the upper decks with the rest of the executives with the guy's scent still lingering. She handed the flash drive to Akashi, who this time had a satisfied look.

“With 30 seconds to spare,” She said to Sanzu. She then took her coat and purse from Rindou, who was just as confused as he was intrigued. She then wrapped her coat back to her body.

"And that is how you handle men, gentlemen" Kokonoi and Ran let out an amused chuckle.

“My my, I don’t know where you found her but I think she’s going to be useful.” Ran said to Akashi.

“As expected.” Akashi simply replied.

The men all made a mental note not to let their guard down around her, despite being an asset, the way she lures men is alarming for them.

[buckybarnesdiaries]

the knight

bucky barnes x reader. ⎢ masterlist.

being followed by a creepy guy and saved by a knight.

word count: 792.

warnings/tags: mention of intake of alcohol, some bad language, bucky being a gentleman as always.

author notes: this is based on a true story. nowadays, the guy who ‘saved’ me is one of my best friends. none of my stories contain reader’s body descriptions to be inclusive.

Join the tag list here.

You wouldn’t admit that the last shot was what made you want to go home. You didn’t lose time on paying the bill of the last rounds of drinks for your friends, before saying your goodbyes and leaving the bar. The slap of fresh hair to your face felt like coming back to life, taking a deep breath with your eyes on the dark sky, zipping your jacket. It seemed like it was to fall the universal flood and you were in a hurry to come back to your place.

Grabbing your phone, you sent your location to the chat group with your girls to let them know where you were at any moment, not being very wrong when a guy started to follow you as you turned to the next corner. He was following you, pretending casualty, pretending he was in the same direction as yours. It wasn’t, tho.

“Need company, princess?”

You ignored him, starting to walk faster. You weren’t scared, not at all. You knew how to defend yourself after too many classes of self-defense. But by the corner of your eye, you saw he doubled your height and weight, so that fight wouldn’t finish well for you.

“Hey, ‘am talking to you. You deaf?” His voice sounded closer, a little angrier and you could hear the velocity of his steps increasing towards you.

Now, you were in trouble. You could easily start to run since you weren't too far from your home. But you were somewhat paralyzed, keeping your phone in a pocket and grabbing the longer key inside the other, just in case he dared to lay a hand on you. Your heart was racing crossing to the other sidewalk without checking if any cars were driving near, feeling your calves burning by the pressure of walking faster and faster.

“C’mon, we can have so much fun”. The man said this time, too close to reaching you and grabbing your arm.

“Sarah?” A second male voice came to your ears, turning to another man crossing the road. “Hey, Sarah!”

He sounded excited for seeing you, wrapping you in a tight hug before you could react. You were totally lost in the situation until he put an arm on your shoulders and you were able to see the army tags hanging from his neck. He was a soldier. James B. Barnes. Then, he glanced at the guy standing in silence.

“Who the hell are you? Were you pissing my sister?” James rebuked him, placing a hand on the other’s chest to push him away from the two of you.

“No, no… We were… talking”. He lied with a trembling tone, taking a step back, waving his hands to calm the tension.

You couldn’t believe what that stranger was doing for you, feeling safe but still shaking a little under his touch because of the asshole who had been following you.

“Next time I see you, I’m going to make you not want to talk ever again”. The soldier threatened him. “C’mon, doll, I’m taking you home. Mom must be asking herself where the hell are you”.

Not going against his decision, you nodded letting him turn you around and keep walking until you took the next corner. You couldn’t help but stop your track to hug him. At the last second, before he appeared, you were really scared. You were praying for anything you knew to escape from that guy. And seemed like God listened to your prays sending you such a miracle. It was shit to feel like that. To feel like you should have to take care of any gesture, step, piece of clothing you wore. It was shit to have to thank a stranger for saving you. But you did without doubting.

“You didn’t have to, but… I appreciate it. Thank you, James B. Barnes”.

He chuckled at how you pronounced his name.

“From where I come… I’ve been very, uh… polite with that punk”.

“I’m (Y/N), by the way”.

“A pleasure, (Y/N)”. He stretched your hand, causing you to smile briefly. “Listen, if you don’t live too far, I’d… like to really take you home. If you don’t want to, let me call a taxi at least”.

Bucky sounded sincere and worried for you. No hidden intentions beneath his petition.

“I live three blocks away, so… you can come with me if you want”.

“Good, I follow you”.

You nodded before pointing in the right direction with your head, not having any rush now to come back. Even less when you glanced at him taking off his leather jacket to place it over your shoulders, still being an innocent gesture.

“It’s cold”. He justified it, smirking at you with such a charming smile revealing his white teeth.

feedback is appreciated, please, leave a comment to let me know if you liked it and/or reblog it.

a/n: what do you say? would you like to read a second part with them having a date or meeting again somewhere? leave it in a comment!

tag list: @mystic-232 @homesicam @theresnoplatypus @i-love-scott-mccall @slutfornat @xx-marvelfanatic-xx @goldielocks2004 @whatrambles @the-mystery-spot @multiyfandomgirl40 @purrrrfect @nikkixostan @spidergirla5 @amethyst-butterfliess @mariska0610 @wanniiieeee @fanofalltheficsx @goldielocks2004 @spideysimpossiblegirl @nocturnalherb16 @jointhehunt67 @the-witty-pen-name @valenquei @golden-hoax @hunter-of-baker-street @missusstark

@mayans-sauce @peoniarose @band-psycho @myakai13 @petlaufeyson @-im-fantastic- @horsesandwolvesaremyanimals @rocketqueen @rosieposie0624 @ellyseveronica @diaryofkali @ravenmoore14 @starrynite7114 @monkeyluver4546 @sheeshgivemeabreak @jadesamhart @rawrlittlepanda-95 @megapeacelovemusic-blog @skits90s @littlekittymeow @tenderclio @greeneyedblondie44 @phoenixhalliwell

[kth1]

2021 Year in Review: kimtaehyunq

firstly and foremostly, i have been tagged --> @min-boongie​ @hobeah​ @taehyungq​ @minieggukie​ @gimbapchefs​ @jeonjcngkook​ & i think @kithtaehyung​ ?? i think that’s all? for right now? i’m sorry. thank you all for thinking of me and mentioning me among the hundreds of awesome creators out there! 

this is the Best of 2021 game // post your favorite or most popular posts from each month this year! 

unfortunately in my case, i reblog and sr far too often that i exceed a lot in each month. so seeking out “most popular” is very difficult for me and i refuse to do it. however, i managed to take the time and pick random favorites in each month to just briefly talk about them. 

one thing i noticed as i scavenged throughout my archive is that... i hadn’t realized how many works i actually have done. which is quite a lot! im surprised at myself for even committing so much time into content making, but i enjoy doing it. it’s something that currently makes me very happy even when this site sometimes makes me very frustrated. personally, i don’t think of my work as anything better than others. i just really enjoy creating. i know i offer a little bit of everything when it comes to content, and i fully appreciate all of the likes, reblogs, and follows that come because of it. i don’t think i ever expected to be here, indulging myself with bts content and giving out my own twist of things... but here i am!

i’m most grateful for just the overall community of bts, who i’ve had the honor of getting to meet and/or admire. gained friendships with mutual interests, shared works and thoughts over creating, and just the amazing support the majority of this community (and fandom) offers! it’s honestly closer than anything i have every been apart of (fan-wise) and that is quite special to me.

so enough of the chitchat, time for some works under the cut!

January

BBC GOGO Jimin Focus - 1.2k // this gifset honestly surprised me because i wasn’t able to get great quality for the frames. i really enjoy this song and i still remember how evil jimin was making a fun song into something... so deadly in the matter of his first verse. 

February

Comedy King Taehyung on BTS RUN Tennis - 1.2k // i remember how annoying coloring this gifset was because of all the greens. but the scene was hilarious -- still is imo! how did he of all people manage to get the ball stuck between the racket? please lol

March

Winter Package 2021 Taehyung looking as boyfriend as ever - 1.5k // the winter package 2021 content is filled with so many heart warming moments. this gifset hopefully captured the soft love that radiated from mr. taehyung. he’s just so fluffy here too. 

April

Black Ravens Fic - 1.1k // listen, i don’t think i need to even comment on this fic. it was an idea that has been eating at the back of my mind for some time and it eventually came out into words. to see so many supportive friends fall for this fic actually has made me so happy. i honestly never expected to have the reactions i gained from putting this fic out into the world. 

May

The Wings Tour: The Final behind the scenes Hobi - 482 // i really enjoyed this gifset and the colors. hobi has such pretty orangey hair and the arrows around him just look pretty. i wish i was able to gain more love for this gifset but it’s ok! hobi is loved by the many millions in the world! 

June

Maknae Line Airplane pt 2 gifset - 470 // this one actually sort of upset me. i’ve been vocal to a few friends about this gifset because of a certain situation in the past. i’ve moved on from it, accept the fate of it not getting the attention it deserves. but this gifset is still very pretty to me and i worked hard on it. so therefore it is my favorite post i did in june!

July

Remake One of your Old Gifsets | Tony Montana - 946 // this was actually a game where i needed to tag other giffers. i didn’t realize that it was going to blow up how it did, but im grateful for it! i really enjoy tony montana yoongi, his song and fit. when i remade this gifset i was so stunned with my growth from before to after. and even now, my giffing tactics have changed! (hopefully better)

August

Gifwar | Taekook edition - 1.2k // over time i started doing a little gifwar of taekook content with @/jeonjcngkook. it’s hilarious to do and always fun to gif a random piece of content. ofc i adore this set so much because of grammys 2020 taehyung and that blasted shirt!!! i love grammys 2020 tae so much that it’s the reason for my url to be my url! :D

September

Red Hair Taehyung - 962 // golly. i was inspired by @/jiminslight and their pink jimin gifset; so much that i made a red hair gifset of tae. i love how it came out and i started discovering that making larger gifsets are 1) quite hard but 2) very enjoyable! 

October

PTD on stage VMINKOOK - 1.5k // i just very much like this set. i think they performed wonderfully even though it was still an online concert, im sure they were missing ARMY so much. 

November

Blonde Taehyung - 992 // this was another set i had made @/kimtaegis because i felt like i failed misribly on the first gifset. i wanted to make it up to her. so as a surprise, i created this one in hopes to be better! also this was a time where i tried making the gifs a little bit more darker than i usually go and it turned out pretty imo! 

December

Boyfriend Vibes Yoongi - 1.4k // honestly, have no clue how so many people enjoyed this gifset so fast. when i saw this scenes in the behind the scenes content i was like “oh wow, i need to gif yoongi and look at him right here! he’s so cool!” and just went ahead and giffed it. i really enjoy seeing the love people have to all the members, but especially seeing the love for mr. min. <3

ok, that took a lot. And hopefully tumblr doesn’t mess up my tags or formatting... because this site is dying :( anyways. thank you all who have supported me and supported bts! i will tag a few other creators down below if they wish to participate! and if you already did this game, i apologize in advance!

tagging: @honsool​ @jung-koook​ @taeyungie​ @taee​ @amourtae​ @kkulmoon​ @y93​ @sopev​ @taeunwoo​ @sugajimin​ @suga-ssi​ @jimimn​ @rainycle​ @filmsout​ @jiminswn​ @hyunsung​ @taetheists​ @chopper​ @blooodsweatandtears​ @loverjimin​ @tcehyungs​ @scokjinkim​ 

[fly-like-a-phoenix]

House of Lust (part 16)

Abbé de Coulmier x reader

Summary: Five years has passed since the events of Quills. The Abbé de Coulmier is released of prision by a misterious event. And he will know again those feelings he never thought will meet again: love... and lust.

Warnings: some mentions of violence and wounds, mentions of sex.

Odelle went to the dungeons in the morning, finding François sleeping on the ground, covered with the blanket. She actually thought he was dead for a minute, but he wasn't. He survived the punishment. And she didn't know how.

What she was thinking by now was about that empty bottle and that blanket. Who gave those to him? Was it you? One of the guards? Louis? Claude? One of the guests? No, they didn't know he was in the dungeons.

She opened the cell and approached him. She kneeled beside him and put her hand on his shoulder, moving him to wake him up.

"Abbé. Hey Abbé. Wake up. C'mon."

He started to open his eyes and, at the moment he saw Odelle, he jumped and moved to a corner, scared like if she was the product of a nightmare. He even thought he was dead, and she was a demon from a real Hell.

"Oh, do I scare you that much? That's nice!" She mocked. "Take this. Put them on." She throwed him a new cassock, shirt and trousers, and waited for him outside, smiling. He still had some bruises all over his body, and that made her feel good. But the lashes in his back somehow were cured. And she noticed it. It was impossible he did it alone. Someone must have help him.

Coulmier arrived at her side with new clothes, while he finished zipping the last buttons. He was breathing slowly. He frowned when he saw her standing and waiting for him. He wanted to kill her. It was the same feeling he always had while seeing doctor Roger-Collard.

He thought a lot about him those days in the dungeon. It reminded him a lot of the Charenton cell he made him go into. He thought a lot about Madeline too. And the Marquis. He dreamt about them. And you. He dreamt about you a lot.

"What the hell do you want now, Odelle? What are you going to make me do?" Said he, angry. His nails scratched the skin of his palms.

"I'm not going to make you do anything, Abbé. I'm done with you. I punished you because of what you did. But that's it. Today is the last day of the House of Lust this year. And you'll be free to go."

Was that true? He didn't trust her at all. But she didn't seem to be kidding. Maybe she was going to free him. Maybe it was true. But it was just a maybe. He didn't say anything else. He just glanced at her with hate.

"Now, go to Y/N chambers and clean yourself a little. Fix you hair. You're so handsome, but now you look horrible."

She smiled and left. He heard moans coming from a door next to where he stood. But it was a common thing by now, and he didn't mind about it.

He entered to your bedroom and found you sleeping. He approached to you in silence, sitting at the edge of the bed, extending his hand to touch your hair. You were fine. That was everything he wanted to know.

"Y/N, it's me." He said, and you woke. You scared at first, but then you recognized him.

"Abbé! Oh my God, I was so scared! Are you okay?" You hugged him quickly, not letting him a chance to go anywhere.

"I'm fine, Y/N. I'm... I'm fine. I'm alive." He smiled.

He broked the hug and looked at you im silence, right into your eyes. You kissed him with hunger, surprising him. But then, he continued with the kiss, touching your face and then your neck.

"I've missed you so much, François." You said, and his name in your lips caused something inside of him.

He started to cry suddenly. You didn't understand why, but you hugged him again, caressing his hair with pity. You didn't know what he had been through.

"Why are you crying, Abbé? What is it?"

"I thought your sister was going to kill me, Y/N. She... Let me in that cage like an animal. And, you know what? I didn't care about that. But then I thought about you, and I wanted to survive for you. I'm so glad you're fine! This are tears of joy!"

You hugged each other again, but when your hand caressed her back, he jumped with pain.

"What is it?" You said quickly, noticing he wasn't that right. You cupped his face with your hands. "You're not okay."

"No. Actually, I'm not." He smiled with pain in his eyes, tears still filling those green diamonds. "Your sister tortured me."

"What?! That fucking bitch! I'm going to kill her!" You screamed.

"Don't say those things, love." Coulmier cut what you were saying, putting his index finger in your lips. "I share the feeling, but tomorrow we will be free."

"You're right. I'm sorry, François. You're absolutely right. Tomorrow we can go to any place we wish, together."

"Actually, I want to talk with you about a couple of things---"

"Not here. Wait. Come with me to the bathroom. I'll give you a nice bath."

He smiled and followed you to the bathroom. He took off all his new clothes, and you couldn't help but put your hands in your mouth when you saw him naked. His back was all wounded with lashes. He had a stiched cut in his chest above the right nipple. And many bruises all over his skin.

"Josephine helped me." He whispered, in case anyone was outside. "She cured my wounds. You were right. She is not like Odelle."

"I told you she's nice. I hope she can get out of this place soon." You said, helping him enter the bathub, which was full of warm water. You started to clean the rests of blood from his back with care.

"I wanted to talk about that. I'm thinking she can go with us, at least while we go away from here. Do you agree?"

"Well... Yeah. She's my sister. And yes, she's done a lot of bad things, but I love her. It's a good idea. I agree."

You both stayed in silence a couple of minutes, just watching each other. You were washing his back with care and, when you ended, you started to give him a little massage in his chest and shoulders. He moaned a little because of the good feeling. After those days in the dungeons, it was nice to be back with you.

"Odelle makes a party every year when the days of the House of Lust are over." You explained. "We have to go and act normally. If anyone asks why they didn't see you these days, we can say you had a seminary."

"What happened these days I've been in the cell?" He asked with confussion.

"I don't know. I've been in a cell myself, Abbé. Odelle locked me up in my bedroom. Josephine brought me food and some water, and I had a bath just before you arrived."

"That bitch... I can't wait to be out of here, away from her." Said he, with hate. You couldn't blame him. You felt like that since many years.

"I need to ask you something, Abbé."

"Tell me." He responded, closing his eyes to feel your fingers massaging his scalp.

"When we were... You know... About to make love... And my sister found us..."

"Yeah...?"

"You said you had to confess something. What was it?"

François opened his eyes and looked at you briefly. He suddenly remembered how good you tasted, and the sounds you made while he was fucking you with his mouth and fingers just before he was taken to the dungeon. Yes. He had to confess something. Something awful. And surely you will understand.

"Do you know the 100 Days of Sodom? The book, I mean. It's a Marquis de Sade book."

"Yeah, my sisters have it in our library. Odelle reads it since it came out, and uses to practice somethings in here. Why?"

"Did you read it?"

"Some parts, just because she obligued me to do it. What has the book to do with your confession?"

He closed his eyes and let out a heavy breath, like if what he was about to say was really painful for him. He shocked his head and, with notable shame in his eyes, he talked with low voice.

"It wasn't the Marquis de Sade who wrote it. It was me. Roger-Collard... The doctor who made me be an inmate... When the Marquis died, I started to write as if I was him. I heard his voice in my head, guiding my hand into the paper. When Roger-Collard knew about that, he made me write a long story to print as a book. He told everyone it was the last thing the Maquis ever wrote, but it was me."

"And what about that?" You said, not getting why was that so bad.

"If people is so wicked... If this House of Lust has it existense based in that book, as you said... It's all my damn fault. I... I was so away from God... With everything that happened in those days... My mind was full of demons. And I really understood why the Marquis had to write them."

There was an extended silence in the room, with you finally getting how bad it was for him to write such a nasty, bad and pervert tale as that. Who will imagine it? A priest writing those things!

"Hey. Look at me." You took his face in you hands. "No one has to know. Ever. And I will keep my mouth shout. I promise. It wasn't you who wrote it. As you said, it was the Marquis. But you don't hear him anymore, don't you?"

"No. I haven't hear his voice in a year."

"So, you are you. And that's everything is fine." You said, smiling. He smiled back and kissed you.

"Now, we have to go to the stupid party. This will end soon. And we will be free to do whatever we want."

You helped him to put his clothes again and, back in your bedroom, you brushed his hair with care. He looked at himself in the mirror, and you, standing behind him, approached to him and kissed his cheek.

"You're so damn handsome." You said, waiting for him at the bedroom's door. "And you look so fine... I don't think no one will ask anything odd."

"I'm fine thanks to you and Josephine. And you are magnificent and beautiful too." He responded, smiling, hugging you and kissing you again, as if he didn't spent three days in a cell after a painful and pleasurable torture. "I love you, Y/N."

Guests started to arrive to the dining room from their bedrooms while you smiled at him. It will be a long, weird day. You both knew that. But you didn't imagined what was coming. You had no idea...

Tagging: @darknessisafriend @five-miles-over @yukis-writing @thegirlwho @jokerflecker @missrockabilly99 @luperugorria99 @weirdflecksbutok @skaraboo @starksclown @sgtsavoytruffle @joaquinisart @sophiefleck @the-queen-of-things @ajokerfangirl @bailaycantaconmingo @joaquinphoenixdaily @joaquinfeed @beatlebabe1996

[buckys-other-punk]

Why There?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Tony suggests a little game for everyone to play after a party. You and Bucky are partnered up and let’s just say things become heated throughout the game.

Warnings: SMUT, unprotected sex, cussing and alcohol/drunk-ish people?

Prompt: “Let’s go fuck in that closet.”

Word Count: 2.8K 

A/N: Helloo loves! Starting off the new year with a new smutty fic! This was suppose to be for a writing challenge I joined back in May (holy shit i’ve put this off for way to long..sorry), but the blog who hosted the challenge kinda logged off of tumblr...but I still wanted to write this if they decided to come back (and check it out) and also for you guys of course. This is also very much unedited (like always because im excited to share this) Lemme know if you guys wanna be tagged in future fics and what you think of this fic! Enjoy ;)

**DO NOT READ IF YOU’RE UNDER 18, BUT I CANT CONTROL YOUR ACTIONS SO THIS FINAL WARNING IS POINTLESS...**

“Fuck, how many drinks have you had?” Sam asked, looking at Bucky.

“Far too many. You think Stark’s gonna stop poisoning us?” he chuckled in reply.

“Guys we should play a game!” Tony slurred excitingly towards all of you.

“Tony, are you drunk?” Steve asked Tony. In response he ignored the captain.

You looked at Natasha who was sitting next to you on the couch. Rolling your eyes you asked the man, “What game should we play Tony?”

“I’m glad you asked my dear sweet Y/N.” he stated as he patted your head gently.

“He’s for sure drunk.” you heard Clint huff under his breath.

“Whoever said that, go suck a dick.” Tony grumbled. “Anyways we should play hide and seek! It would be so fun to play it in this big tower!” he exclaimed.

“Tony, I honestly think you’ve had way too much to drink.” Pepper chuckled at her husband.

“No, I’m fine dear. Seriously guys come on! I’ll make it fair. We can have partners!” Tony explained.

“I call Y/N!” Sam yelled getting up from his seat. 

“Dude what the fuck!” Bucky whispered, slapping his shoulder with an angry expression.

“Hey, I wanted to partner with Y/N.” Natasha pouted towards Tony and you.

“Guys, relax I’m sure Tony is the one who will be picking partners. Isn’t that right Tony?” you hesitantly said looking at Stark.

“That’s right Y/N.” Tony replied. “And since Mr. Wilson over here was so eager he’s going to be partnered with Clint.”

“Noo!” Sam and Clint both shouted in astonishment as they looked at Tony.

“Sorry boys. Nat you’re with Steve.” Tony ordered looking at the pair. “I’m with my beautiful wife of course.”

“Yeah, no I’m tired honey. Being the host of an extravagant party was enough.” she said as she kissed Tony’s cheek.

“Good night Pepper.” you said ever so sweetly.

“Thanks. Have fun guys.” she said waving goodbye to everyone and exiting the room.

“Well, I guess I’m with you Banner. I’m assuming you’re playing.” Tony asked, crossing his arms.

“Do I have a choice?” Bruce said in defeat. 

“Nope!” Tony said. “And that leaves Y/N and Bucky for the final pair.” he added looking towards the two of you. You were kind of happy to be paired with Bucky, even though you wished to be paired with Natasha, but Bucky will have to do. I mean, you and Bucky have been having an on and off thing every so often, how bad would this be? You looked towards Bucky with a smile which he returned.

“What?! How come Bucky gets to be with Y/N!? I called dibs!” Sam said angrily towards Tony.

“Because I said so.” Tony snapped which made Sam go off in the corner to sulk.  “So here are the rules; you can’t ask FRIDAY for help, each pair needs to stay together, if you are found you can’t help the seeker find the others, and this entire floor is up for grabs.” Tony explained.

“Wait, if the entire floor is good to hide, that means we can hide in people’s rooms?” Clint asked with a mischievous smirk.

“Yup, everything is clear. If everyone is ok with that?” Tony asked, looking at everyone.

“Yeah.”    “I’m fine with that.”    “Ok.”     “Sure.”

“Alright, but just in case none touches anybody’s stuff in their rooms. Oh, I also forgot to mention, you can move around if you don’t like your hiding spot.” Tony stated sounding less drunk than before. “So, is everyone ready?” he asked and everyone gave a nod towards the man. 

“Ok, Bruce and I will be the seekers. We’ll give everyone 15 minutes to hide. FRIDAY can you announce when the time is up and who gets found when we find people?” he asked the AI.

“Yes, Mr. Stark.” the AI said. “Your 15 minute timer starts now.”

With that everyone grabbed their partners and took off. Clint practically dragged Sam from the corner where he was sulking. Steve picked up Nat and carried her out of the room. Natasha was furiously yelling at Steve to put her down saying she can walk herself. Bucky grabbed your hand and you both ran towards the kitchen.

As the two of you entered the kitchen you both saw Clint try to shove Sam into one of the cabinets underneath the island table. They both felt yours and Bucky’s stares and whipped their heads towards the two of you.

“GET OUT!” Sam yelled as he tried to shimmy into the storage space. Bucky raised his hands in defeat and the two of you exited the kitchen. As you both were leaving you heard Sam yell to Clint, “Dude quit shoving me so hard!” The two of you laughed as you walked down the hallway.

You both passed the living quarters where you briefly saw red hair hiding behind a dresser. You stopped walking to look into the room, which was Clint’s, and saw blue eyes were peeking underneath a bed. “You guys are gonna be found first.” you said to the two.

“Fuck off Y/N. You guys haven’t even hidden yet.” you heard Nat say from behind the dresser.

“There is 5 minutes remaining.” FRIDAY announced.

“Let’s see who gets found first.” Steve said from underneath the bed.

You shook your head and walked towards Bucky. The two of you couldn’t find a perfect spot to hide and time was running out.

“Y/N there.” Bucky said pointing towards the laundry room. You nodded and the two of you quickly entered the room searching for a good place to hide. 

“Damn it there’s nowhere good to hide in here!” you huffed out towards the man.

“Aw come on Y/N. What about there?” he said pointing to the supply closet. “Let’s go fuck in that closet.” he said with a smirk.

“What the fuck Bucky!” you quietly yelled. “First off, no. Second, why should we hide there? Isn’t it a little too obvious to hide in a closet?” you replied with your hands on your hips.

“Hey at least I tried.” he said, raising his arms in defense. “Well it may be so obvious that the science bros wouldn’t even look there.” Bucky replied, back arms crossed.

“The 15 minute time is up. Mr. Stark and Dr. Banner is on their way.” the AI announced.

“Ugh, fine we’ll hide in the closet.” you huffed in defeat as you pulled Bucky with you towards the closet. You opened the door, shoved Bucky inside first and got in closing the door behind you. The space felt super small with Bucky’s large frame pressed up behind you. His hands were on your hips and you felt his hot breath on your exposed neck. Fuck why did Tony have to have this idea right after a party? You grumbled to yourself.

“You smell nice, doll.” Bucky whispered in your ear.

“That’s fucking creepy Bucky.” you replied back.

“What, I can’t help it. You look so fucking hot in this dress.” he started as he rubbed his hands along your frame which of course gave you goosebumps.

“Wait, be quiet. I think I hear someone.” you whispered. Bucky became quiet, but his arms wrapped around your front this time and he pulled you even closer to his body. You could feel his bulge pressing against your lower back.

“Nothing here.” you heard Bruce yell.

“Did you check the closet?” Tony asked.

“I don’t think anyone would be hiding in the closet. That’s the most obvious place to hide.” Banner said.

“Alright then.” Stark stated as the two of them exited the laundry room.

He sobered up quickly you said to yourself.

Both you and Bucky huffed out the breath you were holding. You waited a good 5 minutes before opening the closet door and pulling Bucky out. As soon as the two of you got out of that closet you heard FRIDAY announce that Natasha and Steve were found first.

“Knew it.” you whispered with a smirk towards Bucky. “We gotta find somewhere else to hide.” you added.

“Where should we go?” he asked, walking towards the exit of the laundry room, looking out into the hallway to see if the coast was clear.

“Maybe someone’s room. I don’t think that Tony and Bruce would go back there since they already found a pair.” you said shrugging your shoulders.

“Alright, let's go to Sam’s room.” Bucky said. “I’ve always wanted to mess with his stuff.” he added with a smirk.

“Tony said to not mess with the rooms, Buck.” you said as the two of you walked into the hallway towards the room.

“Fuck his rules. I’ve been meaning to mess with Wilson’s stuff for a while, but never got the chance.” he snickered.

“Whatever.” you huffed.

The two of you arrived in Sam’s room without hesitation and Bucky wreaked havoc. He went into the bathroom and messed with all of Sam’s toiletries. Sam’s bed was neatly fixed before the two of you got there, but once Bucky finished messing with his bathroom, he walked towards the bed laying down on it.

“You wanna fuck in his bed?” Bucky said wiggling his eyebrows at you.

“What no.” you quickly said.

“Fine, maybe next time.” winking at you as he stood up from the bed. You rolled your eyes as you looked around the room wondering if Tony and Bruce found Sam and Clint. About 15 minutes passed and you were getting bored. Did Tony and Bruce give up?

“You guys are giving me a headache.” you heard Tony announce through the intercoms. “New rule, if you found a new spot to hide you have to stay there.”

“Ugh, I need this game to be over so i can get out of this dress.” you said as you laid on Sam’s bed.

“I can help with that, doll.” Bucky flirted which again made you roll your eyes. “Come one Y/N. Help me get back at Sam for his prank on me. Let’s fuck on his bed.” he begged at you on his knees. You sat up as an idea formed in your mind, which would help him get his revenge.

“No, I’m not gonna have sex with you in Sam’s bed.” you said and Bucky groaned frustrated looking at the ground. “But,” you started and that made him lift his head up. You leaned forwards towards him so that your face was close to his. “I’ll fuck you in his closet.” you said looking straight into his eyes. You saw his blue eyes turn dark filling with lust.

“You’re serious Y/N? You’re not messing with me right?” he asked quietly staring into your eyes

“I’m dead serious babe.” you said confidently and with that Bucky stood up and lifted you into his arms. As he walked towards the closet his blue eyes were staring into your y/e/c eyes. He looked down to your lips then back up at your eyes. Once Bucky entered the open closet he leaned his head forward and connected his lips with yours.

The kiss was passionate and rough. Bucky closed the door slightly so just enough light could peak through. He pressed you up against the wall as he still held onto you. He deepened the kiss and the two of you moaned as your tongues fought for dominance. Your chest was pressed up against his, arms around his neck holding him close and thighs wrapped around his torso.

You felt one of his hands move from your back to your exposed thigh. He ran his hand from your thigh up to your hip, pushing your black dress along with it. Bucky withdrew his lips from yours and attached them to your neck. Unsatisfied with his thin grey dress shirt, you moved your hands to his chest and began to unbutton the fabric wanting more of him. Just as you finished unbuttoning his shirt you both heard a noise outside the closed space. 

Both of you froze in place looking towards the cracked door not wanting to get caught. You heard footsteps walk past the room and a grumble followed by a door shutting. It was probably Steve, tired of Tony’s little game and wanting to sleep the rest of the night. With that the two of you huffed in relief, Bucky looked back to you  with his lustful eyes.

“You’re sure you still want to do this?” he asked face inches to yours.

“If we get caught, then whoever catches us will have a great show.” you said smugly.

“I’m gonna fucking ruin you, doll.” he growled as he took off his shirt completely while still holding onto you. 

You followed suit, luckily your dress had no zippers, so you pulled your dress up over your head and kicked off your heels. Bucky pulled back and drooled at the sight of you. You wore a black bralette and lace thong underneath your dress. He grabbed the back of your head and pulled it forward as he pressed his lips on yours once again. Your hands ran up his toned chest to the back of his neck, you used our right hand to slightly pull at his hair which made him moan.

Bucky’s right hand moved from your hip to up your body, stopping at your left breast giving it a light squeeze. Moaning at the sensation you began to grind against his lower half, feeling his dick twitch underneath his dress pants. Bucky pushed the fabric covering your breasts down, his lips removed from yours as he placed hot wet kisses from your jaw down to your chest. Admiring your naked torso he lifted you higher against the wall so he could attach his lips on your hardened nipple as one of his hands began to rub your clit through your lace thong. You moaned, grabbing a fist full of his hair drawing his lips back to yours. 

Once your lips were attached Bucky’s, he began to unbuckle his belt and you fumbled unzipping his pants off. He pushed them down along with his boxer briefs to his thighs and his hard dick sprang free form its restraints. It was your turn to now drool at the sight of him. You moved your right hand between your bodies as you grabbed his dick and began stroking it. Bucky moved his hand back to your clothed pussy and moved your lace thong to the side. He gathered the slick juices from your pussy to his mouth, moaning harder at the taste of you and your actions.

“You ready doll?” he asked looking at your eyes and you replied with a yes. He spat in his hand and pumped his dick before slowly inserting into you. The two of you moaned at the sensation as Bucky held you close waiting for you to adjust to his size.

“Move baby.” you whispered in his ear. Bucky slowly pulled out of you and back in.His movements were torturously slow and you wanted more.

“Mr. Stark and Dr. Banner have found Mr. Wilson and Barton.” FRIDAY announced. 

Oh thank god you said to yourself. “You better make this fast Barnes.” you breathed out finally getting what you wanted.

“Oh doll, if you want fast I’ll show you fast.” he whispered in your ear. Just like that his hips pulled back almost completely and quickly thrusted back into you. You moaned in Bucky’s ear pulling at his hair with your right hand, scratching his back with the other keeping his body close to yours. His pace changed to an agonizing slow pace making you clench around him.

“Fuck Bucky.” you moaned as your head rested on his shoulder. Bucky then thrusted hard into you again. You screamed, biting his shoulder as your back was pressed harder against the wall.

“Shit doll, you’re taking me so well.” he said as he kissed along your jaw. With each sharp thrust his lips moved closer and closer to yours. Once he felt your clench around his dick he placed his lips on yours swallowing your moans. 

“What the fuck?” a voice yelled as they entered his room.

Bucky’s ears perked up and he quickened his pace fucking you harder and harder. You couldn’t control how loud your moans were. You quickly slapped your hand over your mouth, hoping Sam didn’t hear. Your legs began to shake as you felt your climax come near and Bucky felt you clench around his dick. He quickly moved his hand over to your clit rubbing the small bundle of nerves as fast as he could. You both hear footsteps come closer and closer to the closet door. 

You and Bucky began panting hard at how close you both were. You felt Bucky’s dick twitch inside of you, which made you clench around him and just as you both were at the peak of your climax the closet door quickly opened revealing Sam. His eyes wide at the sight of you naked pressed up against the wall and Bucky balls deep inside of you. The two of you groaned in each other's mouths as you both came hearing yelling in the background.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Sam yelled again. Covering his eyes at the scene in front of him, his two best friends having sex with one another.

A/N: WOOOOO! What did you think of this mess! Was it hot (or not)? lol Again if you wanna be tagged in future fics, have any requests or just wanna chat, hit me up! 

Tags: @lostinthoughtsandfeelings​​ @sebtheromanianprince​​​ @aquabrie​​ @who-the-hell-is-sebastianstan​ @princess76179​​​ @anbrax5553​​​ @wintersoldierissucharide​ @caplanbuckybarnes​​​ @miraclesoflove​​​ @kitkatd7​​ @saiyanprincessswanie​​​ @fandomsandxfiles​​ @hailmary-yramliah​​ @coffeebooksandfandom​​​ @thefallenbibliophilequote​

^please lemme know if you wanna be added/removed for future tags or if i forgot you^

[floralkittygambler]

HuskerDust - More Toxic Than You Think [LONG]

This is the rough version of a deeper and more complex subject I want to ‘decorate’ with more ‘screencaps’.  DISCLAIMER: This is allegedly controversial and led to me getting literal death threats and an ED triggered. Ive about heard a lot of people’s shit on this so dont try it. I’m speaking from personal experiences too - experiences I really fuckin dont wanna be sharin yet they kinda validate my points. I want people to be aware of the damaging image from someone who can speak from experience without attracting dickheads or people twisting things. Again, I aint particularly comfortable sharing this so yeah- Be courteous- TW AHEAD - ALSO LONG ASS READ. DNI STANS OR ANTIS. May tag a few folks, may not.  HuskerDust is an extremely popular ship in the community however there’s glaringly obvious flaws in this one-sided relationship that both the fans and even the team fail to see. Neglecting the dangerous real world implications this ship [as well as many others] present to it’s audience - especially the more influenced of the audience, most who are children.

Angel flirts with all the male cast however one who catches his eye the most is Husk. Now I want to point out a few things [of many... obviously]; Angel is instantly starry eyed upon seeing Husk, likewise he actually started off with a ‘Hey~’ instead of something sexual. However he quickly ruins this after Husk tells him to go fuck himself [defined by: “ go fuck yourselfphrase of fuckVULGAR SLANGan exclamation expressing anger or contempt for, or rejection of, someone.” ie, he rejected instantly] by responding with an offer to allow Husk to essentially watch him masterbate. Alongside this, he cradles his face. Husk pulls away and seems to pull a face to express rage/disgust or growling imagery alongside COMPLETELY withdrawing his body away from Angel as Angel stares with goo-goo eyes. Firstly, Angel loves animals - perhaps it’s Husk appearing cute that adds to this, however Im not going to address animal imagery just yet. Secondly, Angel isn’t really portrayed to respect other’s boundaries BUT he does respect... Alastor’s. Al declines the blowjob to which Angel shrugs and doesn’t push this matter any further. With Husk, he’s pretty harshly told to piss off yet he makes quite and explicitly sexual remark, alongside invading his personal space and touching a man clearly disinterested and pulling away. From the initial rejection, it then becomes sexual harassment.  I also want to add that Husk comes with [some] perks in his feline form. And if my name didnt make it obvious, I work with and live with cats on a daily. Briefly, I have been educated in how to understand cat’s language in various individual cat as well as how to handle and work with them. Cats are often drawn towards me and Ive been successful with various types of cats. My most recent being a cat I’ve dubbed as Big - Big was abandoned quite young and has lived most his life on the streets [where I live is high in crime and drug rings, so you can imagine how strays are treated] leading to him being extremely fearful and hating people, hissing and fleeing just seeing people. I took time out last summer to finally give befriending him a shot. It’s taken just under a year of hard work and now he visits every day for his mush [wet food] and kisses, responds to his name and runs up to me in delight. Ive even taught him a phrase to signal that I dont want him or the other cat’s to fight [keeps them all safe and aids them becoming acquainted under supervision - something that’s been working surprisingly well]. I apologise in advance as this is not going to be the first instance of this sort of thing but they are relevant. Trying my best to keep it as brief.  For Husk, I will be using a mix of cat and human characteristics to break down his reactions.  In this first interaction, he turns his body away in a way to suggest caution, wariness and disinterest. In fact, much of his general body language is that of a man deeply closed off from connections - for starters, he folds his arms quick a bit which suggests lack of openness, shutting off and defensiveness *usually*. Likewise, when touched, he slightly jumps and tenses before pulling back in aggression with flattered ears - a sign cats give to display extreme hostility in a situation. It’s NEVER a good thing but then again, neither is crossing someone’s boundaries. It’s even stated that Husk hates Angel’s advances and wishes for nothing to do with him - the same dislike of sexual advances that Al dislikes in Angel. The ending as they all walk inside, Angel turns to Husk, winking and blowing a kiss his way despite the clear rejection earlier. In fact, Husk once again grows tense and is even irked by such a gesture. This won’t be the last mention of Angel totally disregarding how Husk feels - something that rubs off onto the fans AND the team themselves. And it’s... *concerning*, to phrase it lightly. Angel so far is the most persistent towards the most resistant, and in my post on RadioDust I have already established [briefly] on how Angel seems to chase unavailable men. The more unavailable, the more tempting. The one that got away, mentality. It’s not healthy. And I’m surprised so few have acknowledged this. Taking a break from what we’ve seen in the Pilot, let’s establish some facts about the pair.  Angel died in 1947 in his 30s [some posts specify 34-35], putting his birth year around 1911-12ish. Husk died in the 70s IN his 70s [again, nothing is truly specified, so for both we’ll go with 75 - the same number in his IG username] that puts birth year roughly 1900′s. Now an age gap between two adults of 11 - 12 years difference is actually reasonable and can work, depending on circumstance and whether theres a balance in power or not. But when we account for their life experiences and death ages, it’s something else entirely. Angel died young. Not only that but his mind seems more stuck in his raunchy teens than of an adult. And even THEN, he wouldnt be one to necessarily settle down [by which I mean in life, not romance]. He’s extremely emotionally stunted and his selfishness and wanting his own way come off very spoilt [when Husk is pissed off about the cat costume, Angel gets moody because he’s used to compliments AND is dressing to impress Husk. When Husk wanted the money he was rightfully owed, Angel threw a fit for ages until starting to earn it back - even though he owed Husk a drink, which I’ll be coming back to, Husk still wanted the money in the end perhaps hinting to only accepting a freebie as it’s on offer as well as Angel being overly persistent. He even dumps his pig onto Husk to look after, while theres no issue in pet sitting, Angel said Husk ‘owed’ him due to missing the show yet when HE owed Husk, he threw a fit.]. Angel’s life style is wildly chaotic in life AND death, and even though we all know he’s most likely going to be redeemed, he still lacks a lot of experiences in life. He lacks maturity.  On the other hand, Husk’s been through his own share of chaos and heartbreak. Difference is, he’s had a life time of experience. He doesn’t act immature in a childish sense. He truly behaves like a downtrodden old man. He’s had his days and would feel more secure settling down in a more peaceful environment with fun yet much needed calm. A better way to handle his need for risk. Age gaps in adults that are large [75 - 35 = 40 years!] are far less likely to work for a multitude of reasons. The main reason is the difference in life stages - that difference in mentality and experiences plays such an impacting role on compatibility. Often their goals and energies are polar opposites and their common grounds minimal. There’s also the looming concern of power dynamics. Whilst it’s usually the older figure that’s holds the power advantage, in this case it’s a little bit more complicated. I’d argue that it’s possibly Angel with the higher power. This rarely works irl but it’s POSSIBLE. Look at Hugh Heffner and his last partner before his death. I believe she was around 22. However there’s many common grounds, immediate attraction, and similar goals. Though incorrect, Heffner does give off a pimp-like vibe (he’s not but you get what I’m implying with mothlike imagery). Husk does not strike me as that type. It would definitely cheapen his character. In terms of interests, the main thing they have in common is that they like to drink. A bad habit, especially when one is an alcoholic. Both are also rather lazy except for certain circumstances [Husk will go out of his way to help HOWEVER he’s obliged to under Al, the only one he’s seen to willingly help and bond with/be seen with is Niffty. Angel is when there’s a fight, chaos, drama or any sex work]. Both are also rather snarky and vulgar. In terms of love, both suffer intimacy issues. On Husk, it’s ‘losing the ability to love a long time ago’ meaning he was likely cheated on or at least had a failed relationship. If he was ever ready for a new start, he’d definitely want something stable yet rewarding. For now, he needs a LOT of work - work he is not yet willing to put in, nor does he have a reason to. Angel doesnt want to commit because he’s extremely selfish as well as in an already abusive ‘relationship’ already. Sex work is sometimes VERY taxing on the mental health due to some of the folk you service. He’s seen the worst in many and just enjoys the pay and fuck. IF Husk was cheated on, then it’d make a lot of sense if a sex worker wouldn’t be his flavour, it would just serve as a reminder. Not only this, but Angel HIMSELF actively participates in cheating. Not with Val... but with *Travis*. BOTH know Travis is married (I’d be feckin worried if Trav didnt-) yet they still choose to cheat anyways, regardless of the pain it could cause. Angel even mocks this by sending greetings to Trav’s wife. Honestly this... Reminds me a LOT of Stolas - a main character who sexually harasses another character clearly not interested/comfortable, participates in cheating and we’re supposed to root for them (and before anyone gets offended, I do have more to say on Angel’s behalf so please be patient). Either way, it’s very toxic and concerning. Even if Husk wasn’t cheated on, I dont think many would feel exactly secure after having such a rough past with love, diving into a relationship with someone who’s openly participated in multiple affairs. And that’s no shitting on sex workers either, it’s just a point that some would feel uncomfortable with the idea of being with ANYONE (regardless of their work) having actively and KNOWINGLY took part in having an affair previously - especially multiple. Husk’s in an emotionally fragile place and needs more security. We’ve already established Husk heavily dislikes Angel’s advances. In fact, his responses to Angel are similar to his responses to... Al! His body language is VERY test and closed off to even Al, who’s most likely knew him for a very long time. If even Al gets this treatment (whilst also disrespecting his boundaries) then it’ll be the same with Angel (both force Husk into their lives and schemes, both disregard his boundaries). And he’s shown to STILL go out his way to help both however this is most likely tied to an unspoken ‘debt’ he owes Alastor. Plus he’s been mentioned behind the scenes to be a secret softie and protective grandpa type. But this animosity is very reflective of how Loona behaves and responds to Blitzo as well as how both Loona AND Husk (One being a ‘lowly servant’, the other being a literal old MAN) as pets - even the fans - just because of their forms. But this isnt the first of the disrespect they receive. Now we delve deeper Both are addicts of some kind (Husk - drinking, gambling. Angel - Drugs, possibly sex). Not a good mix at all romantically. Addicts often and unintentionally feed their addictions to each other as well as can increase likelihood of relapsing which even a recovered addict can slip back into. When times get tough (a natural occurrence) both are likely to suffer with their addictions. Interestingly, they can become addicted and dependent on one another, which is genuinely unhealthy for a mindset anyways, regardless whether addiction existed prior or not. Addiction only increases these chances. Angel likes confidence in a man (confirmed on Patreon). Yet, Husk is even confirmed  in streams to be deeply troubled and insecure. One thing he hates is his demon form, something that we’ll touch on shortly. Angel loves quality food ESPECIALLY of Italian origin whilst Husk is willing to eat the shit they give you in bars (admittedly that was painful to type as someone who grew up around pubs - either way it’s not exactly high quality or gourmet is what I’m saying). Interestingly, in some character references of Angel, it’s stated that he hates rejection. Hates. That’s a VERY strong word. This could explain but not justify why he’s persistent with Husk (similar to NiceGuys believing you’re playing ‘hard to get’ - further illuding to an immature and toxic mindset) though it interestingly doesn’t apply with Alastor. Odd.  There’s a counterpoint to symbolism in art. A very VALID counterarguement... If it suited Viv’s style. During Media Studies, Business, Design and Art, hell fucking Silent Hill! - I’ve been educated on effective symbolism as well as artistic trademarks (the most famous that most should know is Alfred Hitchcock!). Hitchcock often appeared in all his films, usually as a sidefacing silhouette, trading marking his films with his very PRESENCE. Viv’s seems to revolve around hearts. I mention this because an IG account made the point that hearts were to symbolise anyone connected with Angel’s story and love life (Valentino’s business and shades/collar, heart behind Angel’s head, Heart tattoo on Cherri’s right shoulder, hearts for Husk’s paws, eyebrow marks above natural brows, wings, and nose as well as most of the playing cards). Thing is, there’s hearts EVERYWHERE in all of Viv’s works and such symbology of Angel and hearts is weakened if it connects to the villains/abusers as well - taking away the positivity in a love symbol. Viv’s used hearts in her font, backgrounds, in characters ears, in all her series just generalised, Blitzo’s forehead, background characters, again the cards, Travis’s eyes, Millie’s right shoulder in the SAME place as Cherris. Even Vaggie had a heart tattoo on the shoulder in some christmas themed artwork (on her left). Heart’s is just something Viv seems to brand herself with. And that’s fine though I feel she could do with cutting it down slightly. One thing to early note on the cards (again, this’ll creep up later and my name should tell you why), most are heart suits and usually either a face card (J, Q, K), Joker, ace or 2s. Face cards/Jokers for more details close up (look at the signing artwork) and the rest are just easier to animate, though a little bit of a peeve to someone into their cards as well as the massive overuse of red in Hazbin overall. It’s extremely unlikely to be symbolic. If they change it to be so, then it’s... Weakened. As I’ve mentioned earlier, Silent Hill is an example of extremely clever symbolism in more darker media (more so, SH is considered a ‘hell’ of sorts and does feature religious iconography WITHOUT causing offence. A great example of how to portray this type of thing - they even mix humour in if you consider some of the sneaky references, dialogues and odd UFO/dog endings).  Discussing Viv’s art further, she drew a gift for her sister (original creator of Husk when he possessed white fur) of Angel playfully dragging a disinterested and annoyed Husk (I believe this was still around the time SpiderMoth was canon). The newish art tends to have Angel putting a holly crown on him or sitting on his knees, Husk seeming too lazy to really do anything about it. Very nonchalant. I also want to include some interesting stream arts here and later to further highlight their bond.  A fan asked Viv in a stream to draw them “actually getting along” - this wording implying that the fan is aware of Husk not enjoying Angel’s company. So Viv did, with an extra doodle of Husk being one of the ‘canadian people’ from South Park who sing “Im not your friend”. The art alone shows Husk’s absolute discomfort, even the extra thing Viv added w/o request. As they’re her characters and the fan asked for what they’d look like getting along, to show this discomfort goes to show the dynamic once planned. Husk just isnt a fan of Angel, especially when he’s being sexual and touchy. It can be great for small comedic parts, however both the team AND fans have now crossed this over to really creepy and triggering realms in their ships. It’s creepy and doesnt look good on Angel (who they actively root for) nor the gay community (more on that).

[Yes Ive already pointed out the comedic side of this ^ but it doesnt bode well considering the other points and issues that arise] There’s also a request for drag angel flirting with drunk husk. Personally thats a lil creepy to specify one of the two being intoxicated and thus not able to truly consent. If Angel is willing to flirt with someone in that state, it doesnt mean he would fuck them, but it does feel the fan was thinking that’s the case. In all truth, I think Angel WOULD flirt with those incapable of consent purely to swindle or pickpocket. I’d like to think [and HOPE considering his own abuse by Val] that he’d never take it further. And I hope Viv, the team and the fans see how incredibly creepy that thought is. I’ll give benefit of the doubt though it is still a concern. Either way, Angel appears... Annoyed? Husk is completely turned away and seems incredibly grouchy and confused. This shows yet more rejection on his behalf as well as Angel’s response to being rejected, which highlights his immaturity towards it. Remember, he’s USED TO and EXPECTS everyone to want him (even saying this in the Pilot). Hell, there’s even a Rich Vaggie request where Viv again randomly includes Husk. This time, he’s faced towards her and relaxed, though seems unimpressed and overall disinterested in this type of behaviour. Behaviour and interests of Angel [Celeb status and rich appearance due to Val, despite getting very little of the cut and the vanity, as well as Husk just not giving a shit about this sort of peacock display]. (Also wanted to note in Viv’s #3 stream 1:50:50, Faust makes out that Husk is a ‘dirty, creepy old man’ as well as him constantly threatening violence towards Angel. I dont see him as *creepy* in this context - as it implies perversion that he blatantly lacks fortunately - though it’s very telling of how Husk feels and again shows this toxic relationship).

/Angel’s Type: First off, daddy issues. He has them. Now let’s look at ‘daddy’. Henroin is shorter than Angel, dark fur, grumpy, old, wears only a hat and tie, big brows... Sounds familiar? Ok, look at his brother Arackniss. Similar to Henroin, dark, short, grouchy, bullied by and bullies Angel, is adverse to Angel and overall possess a bad relationship. Ok.... His main client, Travis! Short, dark fur, moody, Only wears hat and tie, drinker (shown in stream as request so take drinking with a pinch), similar face to- Is no one else seeing this trait? Angel seems to go for these shorter than him grouchier men who either want him for sex or hate his presence. Men who are like his dad and brother. All of these guys are far too similar, and we’ve got enough men in suits, bowties and sharp teeth in this show to boot as it is- The psychology of this type of attachment is rooted in a bad familial relationship alongside the subconscious desire to repair or compensate for it. Unknowningly the person will keep seeking out this sort of guy who isnt good for them to fix this internal issue. The resolution is to NOT go for these types. It’s also connected to intimacy fears, by going for those you know arent good for you/right for you/interested in you is often the manifestation of these issues. Pair them with daddy issues and it’s a disaster! There is science to back this up. Valentino is interestingly the opposite yet still toxic issues arise. Why? Because he’s going from one extreme to the other but with the same mindset. Neither of these men or types for MANY reasons are right for him. And visa versa. Seeing a pattern? ~~~~

Angel w Husk? I mentioned before that Husk hates his demon form. If you’re an old man, a gambler, some Vegas bloke and have this grouchier disposition, why the fuck would you want to look like an oversized pet? Exactly. Angel however adores his own aside from the feet. Now I find it strange how the guy we’re rooting for just so happens to like his own form which was intended for punishment. But that’s not todays post. I said earlier that Angel is heavily fixated on Husk’s appearance. Especially the feline aspects (calling him Husky and Kitty - petnames he hates that also treat him again more like a pet than a man -, dressing as a ‘sexy cat’ to appeal to him which can come off as more mockery. This is even backed up by fans who seem to think an old guy’s gonna act like some school girl anime trope?). All of this completely disregards and disrespects Husk’s feelings and perspectives. Something the fans and team take part in actively. Angel - whether you want to hear this or not - is SELFISH. When Husk ‘owed’ him for missing the show (babysitting Fat Nuggets), Husk begrudgingly fulfils this. The second Angel owed Husk for stealing drinks, Angel threw a hissy fit. The silent treatment, going to other bars and posting about it whilst complaining (again focusing on Husk being ‘cute’). Trying to cop out of it by buying Husk a smoothie (though it looked like a date, lets be real, do you REALLY have to bribe someone to date and be around you? No) and even then he still had to owe the money which was more of Husk’s concern. Yes he did in the end and more money than needed, hence the returning of the extra cash, but that is no excuse for the childish behaviour prior. He’s much too accustomed to being adored and pampered and getting his own way that he cant grasp when people arent a fan or willing to pamper him. If they make them a ship, all it does it make Angel completely into a shitty Gary-Stu that everyone loves and pities for his suffering, rather than teach him to grow, earn his redemption and confronting his own toxicity. Let me make this extremely clear: ANGEL DOES NOT DESERVE ABUSE OR RAPE. But when he starts behaving as shitty, he’s hard to root for. Remember, he’s sexually harassing all these guys, with Husk getting the brunt of it. But it’s treated as a joke for them and only taken seriously for Angel. Val abuses all of his employees. He abuses VOX and even THAT was mocked by fans and staff. It’s... It’s frankly gross.  In every interaction Husk has with Angel, his body language is closed off, tense, uncomfortable, turned away and hostile - look at the IG. He wont even allow Angel to touch him. Compare this to Niffty, who he’s fine with taking pictures with and letting her hang around and touch him. Body language is relaxed (relaxed shoulders, open body language) and he doesnt look hostile at all. What does Angel do? Always tries to get close to Husk (such as sitting as close as possible during Poker) and forces both his OWN hobbies onto Husk (ones that Husk shows a strong disinterest in) and Husk’s hobbies (Poker). It’s very FORCED and not natural. Going back to immaturity, he blames Husk and his cards for being shit at the game. They’re always bickering, insulting, fighting in the comments but fans only see this as a ‘cute couple fight’ or Husk being ‘tsundere’.Tsundere. An anime trope often used in young characters. Irl tsundere is NOT this dramatised. The tsundere you see in anime, apply that irl and you get the recipe for the most toxic, petty and immature relationship going. You get constant fights, unease, not feeling loved/appreciated, little trust - the list goes on. Plus an old bloke really isnt going to indulge in tsundere traits. It’s childish. After his history with love, I doubt he’d be up for games and messing about. For something meaningful, he’d just want open honesty. Their ‘relationship’ feels like it’s written by horny kids attempting a fanfic after being inspired by 50 shades and twilight (both show toxic relationshiiiiiips~). The worst is that these are adult writers trying to portray some realistic yet sensitive topics. This is just ill fuckin taste. Even the warnings in Helluva’s ‘Horny Demons’ leaves a bad taste when the fans are thinking Stolas is the best dad despite both parents ruining Octavia’s mental health. Despite the next day after that episode aired Stolas starts flirting with Blitzo again on IG. Despite Blitzo being clearly uncomfortable and sexually harassed and even co-herced into sex (VERY UNHEALTHY MESSAGES HERE). Viv herself has been in bad relationships so how the fuck she’s blind to this and even borderline fetishizing this sort of behaviour that everyone seems to play off as ‘Awwww cute tsundere <3 BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS’ is abhorrent. I’ll go into this more later on how this really just... It treats male sexual harassment and assault as a fucking joke- Angel’s constant unwarranted flirting is no different from the freaks on IG that send dick pics to underage kids and random women in their dms and fathom that they’re ‘nice’ and have a ‘chance’. Wanna know the creepiest? The candid photo of Husk on Angel’s wall. Something Husk seems horrified about. It’s fangirlish and teenager like at BEST, and obsessive stalker at worst. He’s NOT respecting Husk’s boundaries or feelings. That’s still up despite Husk’s reaction. He still wore the costume despite Husk’s feelings. Angel’s thinking with his dick and it’s such a fucked up message that everyone seems to support just because ‘its FICTION. Theyre in HELL.Theyre BAD people.’ Yeah? Well look at how that’s effecting and warping reality and perspective. It’s glamourising it. Fetishsizing stalking and making it cute. Yer have celebrity or boyband or whatever youre a fan of pics on your wall. NOT your crush. NOT someone who clearly isnt interested or happy with this. If someone who kept commenting on your pictures “sexy” suddenly had a picture of you on their wall, what would YOU think? How would YOU FEEL? Because myself and my own sisters have been in VERY fucking similar situations and it’s traumatic. His paw is even attempting the lens - Angel is crossing his boundaries and not getting the message that Husk doesnt want this. He’s forcing himself onto Husk. Yknow... VAL forced himself on Angel and it ended up in numerous rapes. Angel hasnt raped Husk, but if he wont take no. If he wont respect boundaries. If he only wants Husk to do what he wants but throws a fit when he owes husk - he’s picking up on Val’s bad habits more and more. How are so few - even the very team creating this - not seeing how disgusting this is? Are we only supposed to give a shit if Angels hurt? If so, the message isnt so much of how despicable Val is but how awful it is to upset Angel. Fans constantly blame Husk for being grumpy, annoyed at or rejecting Angel. Look at this real world implication. Not only that but Angel being gay just reinforces one of the worlds most disgusting and inaccurate stereotype of gay men being sexual predators and forcing men to have sex whether theyre comfortable or not. MOST gay men arent like this, and those who are its just because THEYRE shitty people (Jeffree fucking Starr, but look how people ‘stan’ his fuckin behaviour). Val is rubbing off on Angel as much as fiction has a MASSIVE impact on reality - whether we’re willing to admit it or not. Like Val, hes pushing past boundaries, he’s selfish, hes more into visuals than anything else. It’s one sided, superficial and theres no click. No connection. Be in this situation yourself and seeing this sorta shit becomes second nature to stay alive. Angel even says that most of hells residents are ‘ugly freaks’ yet finds Husk cute. It’s all LOOKS. Who else likes appearances alone? Val. I know this will trigger and upset fans, Ive been told to fucking die and have my ED triggered when I mentioned it before. But accept that all of them have flaws. Everyone irl have flaws. But there’s flaws and then theres a fuckin crime. If Husk was a woman, more people would see the flaw, but even then... Look at many romance movies - not all but many go for opposites attract (science proves this inaccurate irl), stalking, or even sexual harassments and assualts but she falls for him and they end up together. That aint love thats Stockholm with extra steps. Think you’re triggered and upset? Go through this shit - have a history with it happening - and then see some show you love and a comfort character get treated the exact same and everyone JUSTIFIES it, including the team themselves. It’s NOT cute.  Part 2 to the previous point: Both do share common interests, but it’s very unhealthy such as excessive drinking, both being addicts and being rather lazy, etc. Otherwise the common ground just isnt good. They’re opposites that really dont compliment each other. (Not a valid point here but I find it interesting how Angel loves aquariums and Husk can fly too). Viv’s writing is mediocre at best (but with glowing potential - a diamond in the rough - hence why it’s so frustrating) but Husk’s writing is the laziest. According to Viv he’s (paraphrased) “easiest to write... doesnt care about anything, almost always grumpy leading to similar reactions to everything”. His voice and alcoholism even has a lot of inspiration from Rick Sanchez. As I said with Angel in the RadioDust post, it’s almost like the addictions are seen as a joke. A running gag is fine if you can play it off well and it’s not about something so serious EVEN MORE SO when the series is about how damaging the addictions are and redemption. Why is this end goal being ignored unless it’s about Angel himself? That’s not just favouritism or bias, that’s also heavily self indulgent and a backwards ass message. Right now, Hazbin and Helluva have this ugly fixation on sex and ships. VIV has a fixation on ‘horny demons’. Her main characters are incredibly sexual bar Al (dont even say Husk, Niffty, Charlie or Vaggie or even loona and Moxxie are even on par with the focus and treatment Val, Angel, Blitz and Stolas are given). It’s very fixated and concerning. Its starting to feel like it’s about to divulge into hentai than a legit series with even a hint of the plot or a message. It reminds me of Family Guy trying to be BoJack. It’s starting to remind me of fucking Sausage Party and the final orgy. Sex and swears makes it inappropriate for kids but that doesnt make it adult or mature, and this is coming from someone who swears more than a fucking sailor whos stubbed his bare pinky toe on a fucking crate corner. Constant swears arent funny or artful in the slightest when it’s over done. It’s just... childish adult humour. We cant be expected to want to root for any of them at this rate- All A24 and other companies are seeing is big cash and easily manipulated child audiences (for easy money). They KNOW it can be better but theyd rather be lazy as they’ll profit big either way. This is going to end up like YanSim and YanDev. Amazing potential, shit writing with a leader too stubborn to accept and act on criticism, seeing it as hate. At this point, Husk isnt a deeply troubled man with vices and interests. He’s just fuck candy and romantic end goal for Angel. To compliment and complete him. Just another accessory to the Angel Show. Vivs sister who made Husk even loves Angel so it’ll only serve to further this already toxic narrative.  The ship doesnt look or feel right. There’s too much established now to see the dynamics and favouritism in the creators. Self indulgence. You cant play favourites when you do this sort of thing professionally. The audience can see it and it turns people away. Ask any nonHaz/Helluva fan what they think and it’s... Well, average.  Another thing is everyone went full hype on Frozen focusing on something other than romance as a form of love. But then go back to “Ok now everyone reenact the final scenes of Sausage Party” afterwards. Not everything is sex and romance, and it really is starting to feel Viv and the fans are focused on that like Incels focusing on ‘chad’. It’s creepy. Helping with food, telling someone self conscious on their weight that they’re not fat, not taking more money than someone owes, even helping out with a pet - that’s something that a good friend would do. In fact, Husk even laughs at the goofy Angel cutout and it being destroyed. It doesnt instantly equate to wanting to fuck. The fact that the fans and even some of the team seem borderline horny is... Completely destroying this show, it’s message and everything about it. Viv said ships were hardly the focus in her stream but look at it now. Look at what Viv focuses on now. It’s just fanservice shit. Nothing more. Self indulgence shit, look at the team making rape into a fetish or shipping themselves publicly with the characters on the public IGs. It’s like watching children run a business and it’s painful because the entire series is suffering when it could be amazing.  Friendship should be more normalised as a valuable type of relationship just as much as love or family are. I’ll also add that Husk adding after the show “Oh fuck... Is this what I missed? Shit.” is ooc like the ‘date’ (that was compensation for stolen drinks, like a tamer version of Blitzo fucking Stolas for the grimoire). It contradicts that he slept it off rather than an attempt at staying awake, as well as calling it a “god damn peepshow” implying a repulsion to the peverse tendencies. The constantly commenting, following and posting Angel related pics makes little sense either from someone who’s blatantly been sexually harassed as well as the clear repulsion of the candid pic on the wall. He outright rejected Angel. What would be realistic are the IGs focusing on learning about the characters, their lives and interests - ALL updating at realistic paces. Old men arent tech savvy usually nor care for social media that much. He’d post drinks, gambling, casinos, life with Niffty and Alastor. Heck maybe a picture of Angel captioned “When will this guy leave me the FUCK alone?”. He even only seems to tag angel, even in the pic that had Charlie and Vaggie [their shared account] or Niffty. Theres a CLEAR bias in the staff room and it’s messy. Look how most the female cast is ignored (Vaggie/Charlie, Velvet who posted a birthday gift to one of the new artists on the merch WHY? Gasu btw, Niffty, Millie only posting twice - heck even Vox and Loona sometimes get neglected. CLEAR. BIAS.) The ships focused on are 1) NOT established canon yet publicly favoured by Viv and the team (Stoliz, HuskerDust, VoxVal - that last pair havent actually got a VA either-), 2) Are TOXIC and theme around abuse or sexual harassment but it’s ‘cute because gae’ - NO. This makes gay people look really bad when they’re not. 3) HD and SL focus on one sided, stalkerish, cop out ‘tsundere’ excused ships to sugar coat the creepiness which only further fuels bigotry, 4) SL has MERCH on it now, so thats also profiting on sexual harassment imagery (again, dont give a shit they arent real - the EFFECTS are. The people who can relate ARE. The people being horridly stereotyped ARE). Thing is, the IGs originally were there to promote ADDICT which started as a fan song anyways despite everyone saying how Viv is stubborn in her ways an uninfluenced by her fans (proof says otherwise) yet shes allowed a fan song to be canon. Theres a focus on forced love for fanservice. The IGs have long outstayed their welcome. The Val account allows glamourisation of the sick shit Val does AND entinses fans to bully as they forget a REAL PERSON runs the fucking account, Val isnt even a scary villain either - hes just a big teen like everyone else - stuck in a teen drama with all this. Pimps are smart. Theyre scary. Theyre masters of manipulati- HOW DO THEY NOT DO THE RESEARCH?! Viv wanted this sense of realism and dealing with sensitive topics in one of the worst executed ways Ive ever seen- It’s toxic. It’s dangerous. These are shit messages and your fans display that when they think all criticism is ‘hAtE’ and actively bully real people w REAL EXPERIENCES. Telling them to ‘stop pls’ does fuck all because you still promote shit messages straight after. Like with Stolas to Blitz in a IG story a day after Ep 2. Classy.  Fanservice seems desperate to keep these fans (rather than market correctly... Just like YanDev) and it leads to fans feeling like they have the audacity to steer the series. Poor business with WEAK boundaries. Viv, you lost your series a long time ago. Want it back? LISTEN TO LEGIT CRITICISM. Stop surrounding yourself with yes men. Even my best fucking friend calls me out when Im out of line because a real friend will fucking take the chance of hurting your feelings if it means helping you in the long run and grow.  Mick joked about the inside of Husk’s ears matching Angels coat, that the ears are cat’s most sensitive and vulnerable parts. 1) Cats vulnerable part is their tummy - hence why you need their trust first (alternatively yer get the odd cat that has full confidence they cat hurt you a lot faster than you can tickle them - I own one), 2) Its weird that Viv doesnt know this considering how many cats she has - its important to learn the language of those you love to give them your full understanding and a great bond 3) This romanticises sexual harassment more than it already is in the media (remember, theres women out there still murdered for saying no!) as well as reinforces the stereotypes of gay men forcing non-interested men into sex (again, a very toxic and unrealistic trope - a dangerous one thats led to gays being murdered!). And the ears design is unnecessarily overly complex considering those fuckin wings he supports. If the design adds nothing to the character but aesthetic, then it can go on the chopping block. Rules for simple animation. Besides from Angel sharing the same tooth as Val (who knows if that was added after he started working for Val as branding?) you could use this argument to say Pent or Al are soulmates for Angel because of having striped suits, or sharp teeth - no, it was intended as a joke that Viv fueled to irresponsibly because it’s not the first time she’s dodged publicly addressing something (something youll NEED to get used to in a big company), and she’s publicly dodged shit after this too so Im not putting faith in her until she can act professionally as the job requires. Likewise, professionals should consider what and how they joke as they’re presenting an image of a company/business. And people WILL eat that shit up face value regardless. In her stream #2, a fan requests for art of flustered angel and smug husk to fuel their ship. at 2:10:21, she does so. She’s also done this for Baxter x Niffty and Cherri x Tom. As a professional, you really should be avoiding this sort of thing in the name of fanservice. I get it, fanservice = financial gain. But it also results in empty meaning. It’s a shell of what the passion project once was, hence why you make the ENTIRE skeleton before involving others. The team help construct the muscles, tendons and organs. The public - moreso critics and the more experienced in those fields help sew the skin. Then you bring it to life, the fans become like blood. They aid to keep it alive. Even Ash and Mick mention Husk being ‘tsundere’. Im had most my piece about it earlier, however I’ll repeat and add some extras. Tsundere is an exaggerated personality, often used in younger characters. In terms of a relationship, it’s very immature, leads to poor communication and results in a toxic love. Science can back this up as well as the lack of realism. It’s more immature minds/hearts that go to what they interpret as tsundere in hopes of the love life the media portrays. A farce. Y’know what Angel needs? Someone open, honest, open to love and comforting. He doesnt need someone rebuffing and him chasing. It’s nothing more than an immature thrill. Once the love begins, it’s burns out QUICK. It’s far from sustainable or healthy. It’s not what either really need and further show Angel’s fixation on men who subconsciously remind him of his father. It’s not healthy. Another thing is a tsundere actually IS interested but shows it in the most immature and childish means possible. Would a really old bloke actually give a shit to play those sorts of games? No. Not one coming from a place like husk has. It’s painful how lacking in research and experience these people are. Science backs up that opposites solemnly attract also. In fact, they often either repel or only get as far as friendship.  Fan and Team Mentality in Brief: Im coming out with my ultimate pet peeve: if you’re going to have one of the MAIN characters be a gambler, do your research. The only background shit is a casino, LOADS of sex references (in Pride? Really?) and drugs. It’s like someone listing what they think is adult and tabboo and naughty. It’s yikes. Cards are almost always aces, 2s or blank. MOST are heart suits (like we need MORE red - we get it, it’s hell. But it’s an immature larvae stage hell). I get 2s and aces being easier to animate, however you have Husks wings, the entire of alastor, angels arms - if youre busting the budget for the menial then bust it to the cards. Theres like ONE spade. The full house isnt a full house (here’s a display of the fans lack of education on the matter as well which serves as a sure sign that they know just as little on any of this as SpindleHorse, they think it’s a sign on him being a card cheat. A card cheat. I aint saying hes not but what I AM saying is poker professionals are some of the most observant people in the world. Especially when money’s involved they’ll ensure youve got your facts right. That wouldnt fly at ALL. But theres more~ fans think Husk spent loaaaads of time staring at angel’s face in the IG poker out of <3 Newsflash. When you play poker you read EVERYONE like a book. Every little twist and twitch of the features. Its not about love. It’s about winning. Its about money. Play enough poker and it’s instinct if you want to actually play decently. Call bluffs. Life aint a fuckin romance.) And playing Poker at a BlackJack table? In a casino? These are all common knowledge and basics if you just research. And this is coming from someone with a history of this.  The fans even believed Tipsy Bartender’s ‘Peach Princess Cocktail’ was something Spindlehorse made as a beverage form of Niffty, Angel and even Charlie because of the name. Now, Im not expecting everyone to be a fuckin boozy either, but to not even consider it’s a very real drink does show that many fans are far too young for that 18+ label.  Fanart of HD often has Husk being OOC OR being held hostage (often via webs - one even being reblogged by Viv, aint that cute!). Some even have Husk completely intoxicated, which would be rape. Im not sugarcoating it. Because too many are getting the sweet treatment and copying Viv’s ‘dont address and it disappears!’ tactic - A LOT of internet celebs do it. The ship is drawn a lot by the team in the public eye, Viv reblogs it publicly (SL, HD, alongside canon only ships, how curious-). Husk is pan yet doesnt behave as the stereotype. And Id FULLY support this with my fucking SOUL (fun fact: you cant sell a soul. Thats myth to scare people-) if it was done correctly. But the way bisexuals, lesbians, gays and aces are portrayed so stereotypically (even Pan in terms of Val’s sexomania), it’s really REALLY uncomfortly coming across as Husk being pansexual JUST to make him an ‘option’ for Angel. Hell even the hets are given a shite representation. Some art btw has husk tricked into a kiss. Cute, we’re really starting to like blurring consent aint we? Remember, Angel has celeb power in his world. In the real world, he has a following. HE has the power in the ship massively. Hell, fans JUSTIFY Angels behaviour and absolutely rip Husk a new shithole if he fuckin even so as to DARE OPPOSE ANGELS MUCH DESERVED LOVE! - sarcasm because I have to make that shit clear now. Fans dont care about Husks feelings, he wasnt even popular until this ship started to explode. Y’know what would be cool and break stereotypes? An old straight white guy actually accepting his friends sexualities. The pan thing feels really fucking gimicky and exploitive and gross based on the history of all this shit. It feels disingenuine. Representation doesnt come from it just being there. What next? Katie whips on blackface to further show shes a bigoted knobhead whos white and straight? Dont get me wrong, Katie’s an arsehole but theres other means to show this rather than ALL HETS HATE THE BIG GAE. They dont. They really dont. But hey, we’ll show a gay man sexually harass every guy and root for him! NO. Thats fucked up. It makes gays look like the predators theyre not. It’s like the fucking 50s with modern tech - is that the real identity of Vox? Fuckin maybe. WHAT THEY NEED - FUCKING FINALLY, ITS THE END IVE BEEN ON THIS SHIT FOR DAYS WHILST SICK LUCKY ME EH? CAN YER FEEEEEEEL MY TIREDNESS OF FANDOMS AND CREATORS EXCUSING SHITTY THINGS FOR CLOUT, MONEY, FAME AND OTHER DUMB SHIT? IF YOU CANT, THEN WHAT THE FUCK, AND OTHER NEWS: Right. Lets get our main shit. Compatibility between the pair is really low - lower than even the team seems to see. And yer old fart of a Hag here’s gotta use my personal suffering as an example because thats what the cool kids do, right? Their friendship compatibility is high. VERY high. But low for love. HEALTHY love. In terms of convo flow, it only has a river when insults are flying, otherwise Husk actively cuts Angel short or outright annoys him. In reality, someone like Husk would gross out Angel, but the cute cat look can turn that the fuck around - JUST the look. Fans and the team oddly think it’s cute though. Yes, I remember being negged at the bar and thinking “BOY arent my pants flooded like the fuckin planet when the ice caps are melting”. There’s no click. Theres infatuation and lust one sided based on looks. Husk isnt even remotely interested and no means delayed yes apparently. Angel as a rape VICTIM should know better than to blur consent like this. Angel isnt a rapist [for the skim reading raging stans ANGELS NOT A RAPIST, YAAAAAY!] but he sure has a shit grip on when he’s looking like Val when Val forced Angel into a kiss by not accepting rejection. It’s. CREEPY. Its fuckin weird. Husk is literally named after being a shell of his former self, I doubt random sex and forced interest is gonna make him spring to life like bastard Zeberdy from the Magic Pissin Roundabout. Honestly, sexual harassment and addictions are treated the same in this - a joke. A punchline. A gag. Sure makes me fuckin gag. Nah, the more healthier Chaggie relationship (needs work on Charlies damn part - dont let freaky taxidermy men sexually assault your life partner like that) is booooring, lets focus on sexual harassment leading to true love like all the other shitty romcoms shall we? Or sugar coat it with ‘getting to know them better <3′ like Beauty and the Beast. A story, by yours truly: My mom’s mates with this woman. Lets call her M because her name starts with an M. M is just like Angel except slightly older, overweight and disabled - so not everyones cup of tea visually (shes neither here nor there to me imo, not like I hold interest in shaggin her). Like Angel, she fuckin flirts with any ANY man around her. She’ll even touch without consent, rub allllll up and down their backs and bodies, and not leave them alone. She even did this with a few gay men. Shes not a horrible person BUT mom and I are constantly trying to stop her and get through her head how DISGUSTING this treatment is. But nothing gets the message across. Shes ALWAYS talking men and sex and has an on/off fling with this one bloke (dont worry, hes the male M, cheats and does the same as her). Everyone, even women, are uncomfortable with this. Irl it’s desperate and a HUGE repellent. Men are visibly SO uncomfortable. She does it to my father too who is - in case youd forgotten - MARRIED TO HER BEST. FUCKING. FRIEND. My father is not a man of fear (and interestingly, hes one of the real life Huskers I know!) but this woman? *insert Heavy bc why tf not* She scares him. My dad does everything in his damn power to pull away, reject, resist, avoid and cut her off. The only reason hes even nice to her at all is because mom likes her (when M isnt a gross hornbag, shes genuinely a good friend to my mother - much like angel and Cherri). My dad’s strictly banned from insulting her or telling her to fuck off from my mother BECAUSE of her nature with him. Even at her non horny times, he’s even said shes not his flavour.  I’ve had numerous accounts like this myself (ask any woman-) but the worst was the guy thinking - THINKING - that Id eventually be his whilst he played up a lot of our similarities up, seemed nice and I actually thought I had a good guy friend (put it this way, Im genuinely scared of men because of guys like this). At this time, there was a character I discovered who looks and behaves SO much like me, and shes married. My simping arse for this fictional BEAUT [Im sorry but Iris is fucking awesome] compared her romantic traits towards Olgerd as something Id do - and this was a STATUS. It wasnt even too him, tagging him, nothing. I was just spamming Iris like the Iris whore I am, and... Yep. Ill be honest and say that God only knows what else I did that made him think I was ready to rip off my clothes and shag him. My post history back then showed Im like this when I find a character I relate to. I also send hearts a lot publicly and to friends to express joy - I get NERVOUS how that’ll be taken now. He tried to pit my ex friend and I against each other for him and even cyberstalked us pretending to be a girl named Raven. My GUT told me this aint no bastard ‘Raven’. The vibes he gave me, and the fact when I kept saying no he took it as a delayed yes (He even said “Ill wait for when youre ready” not “I understand and am happy to still be friends”) gave me literal nightmares of this guy tracking me down and raping me. He’s currently dating that ex friend (I was still willing to be their friend and support them but they said it was hard to keep us separate in her lifes and she didnt want conflict, so I cut it off amicably with her and I fuckin hope he treats her right. I even sensed in my gut she’d like him and he’d like her - even that theyd be good together! But then I found she was 17 and he was 10 years older, that he was cyberstalking and pitting us against each other, that he was secretly an arrogant fuck and that he gives off red flags like her ex’s - but shes passed 18 now and I want to trust her as an adult that she can deal with this. Shes got a good family.) As a kid, Ive been fuckin groped at school in my shitty neighbourhood. One kid even harassed me wanting to know if Id started my periods yet. Hed constantly fondle girls and ‘keg’ them aka yank down their skirts or trousers in public, and 2 years later held a fucking KNIFE to my throat in a classroom with the shittiest substitute teacher, all because I stood up to him (I was not known for my bravery at school so). He was harassing my female friend who suffers from it since as well as her upbringing, bullying her and stealing her stuff. Shes TINY. She was bullied just as bad as I - who was somehow both the school ghost AND pariah somehow- - and I stepped in and told him to cut that shit out before snatching her things back. I told her to ignore the desperate prick. Thats when he took a boxcutter and held it to my throat, threatening me to keep my head down. Now my neighbourhood fucking qualifies as the British ‘hood’ but Id been lucky to avoid this. Ironically, I wondered what this situation would be like a year prior. Im convinced I can fucking foresee bad shit now and with anxiety that aint good. I froze mentally and I just said “Wooow, Im fucking scared- *friends name*, ignore him” and continued my work. I fucking mentally kicked myself for speaking but I genuinely didnt know what to do. Obviously not fucking that. He sat the full TWO HOURS at our table with this knife, jolting forward mockingly and switching who he pointed it at. The knife btw was from that very room as it was graphics and art. Teacher didnt even notice though honestly Ive had an entire class throw shit at me and call me a whore and the teacher in that class looked at me and TURNED AWAY. End of the day, I reported it to my actual graphics teacher when he returned and he told me he’d take this higher up and to get my parents. My home was only 5 minutes away but I had to walk alone when most the students were gone AND through a fucking alleyway. I always walked with my head low but that day I kept it high and tried to look brave because I genuinely thought he was waiting for me. That he was going to rape and kill me because he’s a pervert and Id just discovered a fucking violent one at that. I broke down at my door. Do you know how fuckin hard it is to look your parents who are dealing with two cancer patients and other issues in the eyes and tell them their ‘little girl’ had a knife to her through for standing up for herself? We went back, I described everything and even remember the yellow-orange handle just to get this kid punished? I even wrote an official police statement (well, the written witness account they add to their statement and evidence) and had to speak on mine and my friend’s behalf because she was that shook up. I never even used to speak for myself! He got expelled, but yknow what us jolly folk dealt with? Hearing kids and his mates mumbling about the ‘rat’ and how much of a cunt they were. Teachers and kids praise him for his art skills and even pin them on display EVERYWHERE (one - ONE - was a fucking self portrait and none of the staff seemed to find issue in that) and even an occassion where he came back into the school when he legally wasnt (trespassing). Do you know how hard it is to fucking avoid someone without raising suspicions from everyone around you in a narrow corridor? Im TALL too. I got NO support from this and felt on edge because he could easily sneak into school. I couldnt say shit because his stupid ‘spies’ were about. Just typing this is upsetting enough- I also know a rl Angel who’s like him minus the sexual harassment. She’s... I never used to like her and visa versa but we actually get along really well now, even though she can be creepy and perverse- But she wouldnt be my type either nor I with her. Often we really fuck each other off but we can also bond great. Another incident reminds me of Husk’s candid photo. Ive had people keep my photo despite me saying not to however I had someone SOMEHOW at that school one the fuck up that. There was a cut out from a magazine of a lady who looked like my DOUBLE except she was asian. Now I thought this was cool and it made me feel sorta pretty. This one girl showed everyone and the teacher, pretty much everyone was like “Oh shit that really is you, C!” and it was harmless fun at first. Until I wanted the picture. Again, this woman looked EXACTLY like me. Yet this girl refused and said she wanted to keep it and even carried it around in her pencil case. Yes it wasnt me but due to the similarities, this photo was called me (tbf the fuckin pic got more respect than I did-). This isnt the only creepy instant between me and this girl but the photo reminds me of it. And this tops people keeping photos OF me which happened in primary school. This was me but legal at that time. And asain. It was super fucking neckbeardy the way she treated this photo and stared, often stroking it and looking at me. I just hope she was only trying to scare me. Theres one final instance of a sexual assault but Im just not yet ready to be public about it. 2 here already know. Those are some of my rl experiences and more to come (unfortunately) that show these behaviours in real life. It seems - it comes across - that sexual harassment, MORE SO TOWARDS MEN, is seen as some punchline and not something legitimately horrifying or dangerous. It’s not cute. It’s fucking FAR from it.  Ive already mentioned how putting two addicts together can lead to relapsing, dependence on each other in an unhealthy way. And Ive even mentioned what Angel needs in a relationship in the RD post. Luckily for you, I’ll copy and paste it here: “ We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea. Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict. Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both. Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate.” Sorry for that copypaste clusterfuck. Copy paste is not my forte lol Now Husk. Remember Big? Probably not after the info overload, but if you do GREAT. Big needed love, patience, understanding, someone who could help him, someone who understood and respected his boundaries. I spent so much damn time and now he cuddles up and exposes his tummy because I make him feel understood, loved and safe. He NEVER purred or meowed (why would he need to meow when he didnt speak to humans?) but now he does. He lives on the streets of a neighbourhood with rough folk. He used to draw blood and go rabid on my arms. But I was patient and showed him that I understood his reasons but that he was safe with me and had no need to strike out. I never pushed his boundaries let alone doing it multiple times (the rl angel I know is fucking skilled at pushing cat’s boundaries and wonders why they all huddle up to me and avoid her lol). Husk is an unavailable man. Romantic/Sexual love does NOT heal his wounds. But thats the only thought fans and the team have given on his side. He needs love to ‘fix’ him. The WORST reason to get with someone. Theyre not a project and you arent a fucking miracle worker. Treat them as an equal. He needs a good friend. JUST a friend. Like Big, he needs patience, trust, understanding, and extensive help (arguably more intense than Angel’s). He needs to love himself a bit more FIRST. Someone who respects his boundaries INSTANTLY. Someone relatable and similar, open to love not just sex and not as troubled (if they are, they need to handle it way better, healthily and overall be in a good mindspace). Viv can ship whatever the fuck tickles her fancy, but once your passion project becomes public and funded, you have set responsibilities on how to address and handle sensitive issues as well as having to accept criticism. If Husk goes sober in the name of love (ESPECIALLY with the guy not respecting his boundaries and sexually harassing him), then it’s a fucking INSULT to alcoholics.  I know a few rl Husks but there’s one that anyone who knows me enough knows the man I hold closest to my heart was an alcoholic and spitting of Husk. That’s why Husk’s character means so much to me. But there’s only 2 here who know a bit more of this man. This is something Id hoped to not share so soon, nor as messy. And Im already getting waterworks because this is FAR from easy. I guess Husk became the very thing *I* needed in order to face this. This man was my grandfather. WAS. I cant even fucking accept that. I was a fucking child. I feel stupid being so open about this over some stupid cartoon but it just shows the real life effects this has on REAL fucking people. This man was old and lonely. Always at the pubs. He taught me card games, card tricks and card magic as well as one of his own sons dealing with a gambling addiction. I feel so fucking stupid crying about this- I dont want to open up but its the only way I feel I can get people to understand my side in all of this. This man was a fucking MESS. A closed off, lonely, grumpy old bastard. He lost his love because of his alcohol addiction and never found love again. Never got over that woman. (Shes still kicking and we’re close - im keeping some things under wraps between them as its not my place). Gave up on life and love. Worked hard at his fixation on cards and puzzles, as well as crass jokes and knowledge. But he was very lazy otherwise. Bitter and angry. And you know what? He was my world. I love this man with every fiber of my being because he was the first person to love and accept me for me. He treated me as an equal and helped me grow as a person. In fact... He was only ever happy around us kids. He had hope again. Protected me. He used to hate gays and blacks and you know what? He taught HIMSELF as to why that was shitty thinking. He taught ME about differences in people and to accept it. He taught me that you dont always have to understand to accept. He taught me poker and... swears admittedly. He was a beautiful soul that was broken inside. He needed to love himself. But you know what actually fucking happened? You know what I watched as a kid? I watched as he smoked until every morning he woke throwing up phlegm just to BREATHE. I watched as sometimes the light in his eyes died and through smoke breaks and early drinking how he’d sometimes slip and show me his pain. And we’d have deep talks about it and the world and everything. How alcohol ruined his life yet he craved it. His scent. I remember arguments I wasnt supposed to overhear and growing up seeing him fucking DIE slowly in a hospital bed. The man he was ended up as a fucking husk. His skin was bloated and purple, he was half machine on how much shit he was hooked up to. How he was barely a man at all. He was dying of cancer and he fucking knew and never told us. His cancer meds gave him horrid hallucinations. And I practically spent most of my time in that hospital because TWO people had cancer. Two stunning people had fucking stupid bastard cancer. He was a fuck up. He was flawed to shit. But seeing glimpses of the real him was a fucking ethereal experience. He made me feel like a PERSON. And all we could do in the end was watch him just die. He WANTED to die and you could see it but hed only eat around us to fake fight out of his own hubris and not wanting to let us down. That year, I watched 2 of the only people who ever gave a shit about me die the most dishonourable deaths God could have gave them. Years prior I watched his son gamble EVERYTHING away - his lover, his house, his everything. Hes a moderate gambler now with a partner who never had a history of any addiction. She helps keep him in line as he helps her. But most nights I fucking dream of this shit. I cant even think about my hero because I fucking weep. I still have nightmares. Im still up thinking how I could have saved him from himself when it’s him who was the only one able to. I have to live my life with those memories and I was just a kid. Im a full woman and Im still haunted by it. Even that year is blasphemy and I fucking hate it. I want to take him in my arms, hold him and tell him he’s enough. That its ok and he can get through this. Anything that reminds me of him, I love because I know the other side. The real side. The side not tethered to vices. When I see people like that, I pray they see themselves like that too and I want to help them see it. Tell them that they can live again. It’s better than fucking decaying in a hospital bed. That when people make this sorta shit into a cute quirk it’s not. And it’s dickheads like me who have actually seen it play in the real world to REAL people they love. They arent a fucking accessory to fix for your own narrative. They arent a fuckin performing monkey. At least with Rick and Morty it’s kinda humorous and never played for some shitty toxic ship to appeal to everyone who’s never had to face that shit themselves. And Im like my old man but with more hope and no addiction. I drink and I gamble but I’ll never let myself get that low. Because I honour him but Im not as fucking saft. I wont allow it even though it’s a fucking battle. Those addictions are in the blood. My family history. Its always been so fucking normal. I’ll never knock someone for an addiction or try to preach them out of it because theres often pain fueling it, but I’d never encourage it or toxic faux cures and stupid romance promises as some bullshit MLM remedy either. I KNOW it’s fiction but I want people to see the real side. I want VIV to see the real side. Id willingly for FREE fucking sing that shit if it meant spreading a good message. Because this is fucking hell. FIXING IT: The ship’s basis is too set in stone now - too familiar to change. Best is to never let it be canon. Because you know what else it teaches? That rOmAnCe cures all. Not therapy. Not rehab. Not any REAL work. Just fuck and date it all away as if it’s that easy. It’s a mockery! I tried to be professional about this but when the media bombards this shit constantly, the has the AUDACITY to play like it’s giving a good message is salt to the wounds. A kiss with a fist. An old man dont care for the petty teen drama that Angel and Cherri (even fuckin Al) thrive on. Want this to send a good message still? Angel hates rejection and thinks everyone wants him. Have Husk reject him. Especially because no one should go out with someone whos sexually harassed them there. Been there, done that got the fuckin tshirt. Have Husk reject Angel the way Gravity Falls has Wendy reject Dipper. It helped Dipper move on and mature, and this is what Angel needs for growth and to be more humble.  Husk would be a fucking excellent mentor to Angel, a friend and protector, someone who shows him the ropes like Grunkle Stan like a grandfather figure. To not fall for his mistakes. Husk would be a better expert than any of them plus it balances the power dynamtic. It’s healthy and realistic. Touches the topic with the sensitivity it needs. Not everything needs a ship or romance. Wounds healed that way dont stay healed long. Angel seems more fitting as a son like figure, and he can play that dad like role for him. And if any of the team EVER saw this, fucking take this idea. Its YOURS. FREE. FOREVER. If we wanna play this NDA but still reblog some of the story telling arts and have some of our team indulge in it. I wont sue. Fucking TAKE IT if it means doing this shit right because Spindlehorse have beautifully triggered so many different people and their different traumas to please teenagers sexual fantasies, their own kinks and for a jolly good joke.  This is a bastard long read and Ive had to face the traumas again but if good can come from it then I’ll GLADLY dance this duet again. Stans, Antis, dont even TEMPT interaction. You arent brave sending suicide threats behind a screen, youre a coward and a waste of oxygen. I WANT Hazbin and Helluva to succeed. I want Viv and her crew to do well. Trust me, I wouldnt waste my time if I didnt give a shit. Viv is fucking gifted and its being wasted if it’s not at her full potential for the approval of a rabid army of kids and immature adults who dont know any better (stans and antis). I know she would like a good and decent fanbase. Stans and antis arent it. Tagging you folks because it’s long but yall actually helped me have the courage to open my trap to this. Screenshots are coming later though all of what Ive said is easily sourced. But this has been days, Im sick, im tired, ive been upset facing my own traumas. If any tags wanna help then by all means but otherwise. @honesthazbinarchives, @siaesnow​ (also added age still bc despite the lack of physical aging, theres also the mental aspect and experiences as well as power dynamics side to it, in case youre wondering), @noirellearts, @enchantedchocolatebars​, @galemalio​ (thank you for letting me weep like a bitch), @angel-blitz​, @critical-hazbin​, @what-the-hazbin​, @hazboobhotel​, @pineapple-critiques-stuff​, @devils-advocutie​, SORRY AGAIN FOR BEING A LIL BITCH FOLKS, I feel awkward like my teen years but yeah- fuck it Im old and imma rot soon anyways. If this experience can help then Ill be glad.

[lovely-english-rose]

@dekuanon: #yes#also#saw your tags#do not care what its about plz give us that rant

aw fuck i cant believe youve enabled me- im laughing but also *cracks knuckles* there is work to do-

now to preface, the doozey of an ice cold take of the week is: the three goddesses are sisters, therefore bearers of the triforce cannot be shipped in any instance because this makes them related so it’s inc*st.

whoof...

are the golden goddesses sisters? yes, yes they are. are link, ganon, and zelda related to the goddesses? no. do they always bear the triforce/does the triforce always make an appearance? also no! link, zelda, and ganon are not descendants nor reincarnations of the golden goddesses. now, zelda is the goddess hylia reincarnated, however hylia is not at all related to the golden goddesses, and iirc they are never even mentioned in the same games? at that, hylia is reincarnated as zelda one time, the rest of the zelda’s are her descendants.

the triforce itself is a relic created by the goddesses, largely as a source of hope for the people of hyrule, but also a means to bestow power on mortals if necessary. it is an item that can be taken, passed, or bestowed upon a user. an example, ganon tried to seize the whole triforce for himself in ocarina of time and as a result the triforce broke itself into three. while ganon managed to claim the triforce of power for himself, the other two pieces went to find their own chosen users because ganon’s own power/wisdom/courage were out of balance with each other and therefore made him unworthy of bearing the whole triforce. there have also been instances where one person did bear the whole triforce for themself (a king mentioned in adventures of link, link himself in skyward sword, king daphnes in wind waker, etc) and even instances of one person bearing two of them at once (a prince mentioned in the original games, ganon briefly in twilight princess, etc).

now, what have we learned so far- the three are not at all related (which should be obvious anyway) and the triforce itself is a superficial feature that can be taken, given, or removed from a person. so aside the power it gives a person, it is largely meaningless for their interpersonal relationships.

now the person of the original take mostly focused on shipping with link and zelda, only briefly adding ganon to the conversation so i will focus on the former here (plus i dont wanna get into all.. That when you add ganon to the mix). now i literally do not care at all if someone likes them together or not, it has absolutely zero impact on me. but it does bother me, not even in this case specifically but in general, when people will make such wild accusations to justify their personal dislike of whatever the subject may be and even harass others instead of just moving on with their life. they aren’t at all related, it is ridiculous to lay that claim instead of just saying you don’t care for it or even just - not saying anything at all because it literally does not matter (shocker!). there are several instances where link and zelda are implied, and even canonly love interests to each other (skyward sword, breath of the wild). it is understandable and reasonably that people would like them together? even if those instances didnt exist like.. who cares you know? it hurts literally nobody if some people ship link and zelda.

people will really come up with the most asinine things to justify not liking something instead of just saying they dont like it or blacklisting things like a normal person- and while we’re at it, i am so so sick of people throwing around the words inc*st and p*dophilia like its confetti- they are heavy, serious words with meaning, and people using them to describe literally anything or anyone they personally do not like waters down the weight of those words and that is extremely dangerous! nearly every single time i see them used online these days, they are never being used properly, and so many people being desensitized to seeing them used.. it’s really not okay.

thank you for coming to my ted rant 😤

[la5t-res0rt]

Wanted to ask about beetlelyds, sorry, I thought it was technically cannon? Like in the old comics after the show ended she grew up and married him. Sorry I’m an old school fan and have no idea why this whole thing is such a big deal. Wasn’t the actor like 20 too? I’m sorry if I sound very dumb. I’m not used to this new tumblr.

youre fine you are one hundred percent allowed to especially when you do it civilly as you have done here

first of all the biggest issue faced in the whole what is and is not canon debate is the fact that there are three (four if you count the limited comics run) publicized iterations of my media

i will go over each very briefly just kidding this is going to a long answer so i will spare the dashboard with a readmore

there is the movie which im sure you dont need me to explain the plot since youre an old school fan but basically the climax is that yes beetlejuice does go for the marriage angle in exchange for stopping the exorcism of adam and barbara and his motive for this is so that he can cause as much chaos as he wants on the mortal coil but his plan is thwarted when barbara rides a sandworm into the house which promptly eats beetlejuice sending him to bureaucratic death limbo

the end of the movie features the deetz and the maitlands happily living together with lydia havign a new appreciation for her situation and beetlejuice gets his head made real small which is very funny haha 

so no in the movie they are not canon editors note the actress who played lydia winona ryder was a teenager while filming the movie she turned 17 the year it released 

the next is the cartoon which i will admit has the most grounds for being considered canon but in the end the show is about a middle schooler and her best friend who is a ghost which in itself is a pretty iffy gray area sort of thing but for a childrens cartoon to work a friendship is better than the obvious enemy status they held in the movie

anyway in the cartoon they are potrayed to be very close friends with lydia being the person beetlejuice cares about the most and honestly if you were to watch it with no prior knowledge of the media and if you ignored their massive and obvious age difference than yeah you probably would read it as a romantic relationship 

however lydia is a middle schooler and that is simply immoral

there have been writers for the cartoon who have been credited to say that a relationship is what they were trying to invoke but for obvious reasons they couldnt exactly move forward with that angle with them establishing that lydia is a child in middle school and a fully grown adult man dating a child who is in middle school is immoral and also illegal in the united states and in canada 

this isnt a good argument for whether or not something is canon and i will tell you why with one simple name and that is luke weber

if you dont know who luke weber is he was a storyboard artist on the cartoon steven universe he is known for making a lot of self ship artwork of him and the character pearl

he worked on the show isnt his material canon no of course it isnt it wasnt put in the actual publication and also if memory serves he was eventually asked to leave the project after he drew art of the shows creator giving him permission to date pearl and calling them her otp and a lot of fans hated this because the most generally accepted interpretation of pearls character is that she is sapphic so a lot of people took issue however that again is just a widely perceived headcanon it is never stated what her actual sexuality is no one in that show is because it isnt a show about that its about wait im getting off topic sorry

what im saying is what can truly be considered canon is what you see on the screen and with the cartoon they are definitely the most friendly with each other and that is why so many people in the beetlebabe shipping community take so much stock in the cartoon because it is the easiest to read the relationship between the mas romantic although that is not what the show actually provides in black and white terms

interpretation does not equal canon and in this case no matter what anyone says the fact remains that in the cartoon itself they are friends good friends yes but friends all the same

it is definitely not a show about a grown man grooming an adult and if it were you definitely shouldn’t be stanning it the extreme because grooming a minor is wrong and it is apparently a problem in the fandom

anyway if the cartoon and the movie are both products of their time and there was more leniency on content bear in mind this was the same era as notorious animation powerhouse and known predator john k who was a showrunner on ren and stimpy and he maintained a relationship with a teenager which was an open secret that nobody really took issue with because in that time being a woman in the animation industry was tricky business and your career could be ended easily if you rejected advances luckily time has moved forward and the animation industry although still full of problems of a similar nature at least people are getting called out and punished for it

you can look more into that yourself its really upsetting though

as for comics i havent been able to find good scans of them and im not willing to purchase them but in my search i never found anything about the two of them ever being married in the cartoon again because she is a child i did find a cover where he appears to be getting married and hes asking lydia to get him out of it but im not sure where the comic actually goes all i know is she is standing off to the side shrugging and looking like she doesnt really care

anyway that brings us to the musical which is set in the modern day 

in the original libretto lydia is described as thirteen but since they got an actress who was older in the updated librettos she is listed as 15 and the story is pretty similar to the movie the young girl befriends ghosts and they try to scare her family out etc etc

the major difference between the film and the musical are that lydia and beetlejuice are more like friends like in the cartoon 

she summons him to help scare after the maitlands attempt doesnt really work so he shows up and they have fun terrorizing people together however she drops him for the opportunity to perhaps get her mom back but when no one will help she goes back to beetlejuice who tricks her into almost exorcising barbara

she agrees to marry him in order to stop the exorcism and he only wants to get married so he can be alive again and cause problems on the mortal coil like in the movie in the musical he states several times its a green card thing whihc obviously doesnt make it okay but still

anyway lydia tricks him and runs off into the underworld before the wedding can happen blah blah blah she goes back blah blah and she agrees to go through with the wedding to save her friends and family with a plan to make him go away for good

theres a very tongue and cheek song called creepy old guy which points out how wrong the whole thing is but everyone is going along with it in a very comedic matter and it includes the line 

i cant believe some cultures think this kind of things alright

basically saying yeah this is very very wrong anyway they do get married and beeltjeuice is alive for like 6 seconds before lydia stabs him to death with bad art and he dies thus nullifying the marriage because death do you part etc

so in the musical no at the end of the show they are not canon because he is dead their marriage is nullified and they go their separate ways

anyway sorry about that i just need to make it very clear that these three properties are all very distinct from each other and basically all three are indeed canon since they are publicized material and arguing the validity of which one is pointless editors note all actresses who played with the exception of dana steingold were minors for the majority of their runs as lydia with sophia ann caruso the originator of the role turning 18 during the run and dana being in her late twenties presley ryan however was a minor the whole time and still is one

tldr no they aren’t canon but to the credit of some people in this fandom their interpretation isnt too far of a stretch thanks to the era and some of the writers wishing to imply a relationship between an adult and a child

i also need to address how this is all a big deal and i suggest you take a peak through my discourse tag and check out @leedia‘s blog to see some of the more harmful things done by beetlebabe shippers

the beetlejuice fandom is home to many minors after the musical came out since musical fandom is vast and the ages of its members varies and normalizing pedophilia is harmful to them not to mention the people who have been effected by sexual harassment at the hands of adults

both sides have victims of csa but one side continues to perpetuate the cycle by showing time and time again that this behavior is normal and easily romanticized in the name of coping and literally anyone who has ever been to a good and credible therapist could tell you that posting cp even if it is simulated cp isnt a really good way to cope and you can get mad at me for saying that its totally fine but and im going to remove my character veil here for just a second as a csa survivor myself i think its harmful to not only myself but many others ok the veil is back down

tldr again there is a lot of bullying and harassment going on with both sides having their own issues but there is one side whos issues run a bit deeper in my humble opinion 

thank you for your question it allowed me to talk a lot you are welcome to discuss further with me in dms if you wish i honestly recommend giving the musical a listen because it is very fun and despite what some people say its very clever and if you get a chance to see a boot of it its visually stunning

one last note that i couldnt really fit in here but a large portion of the beetlebabes shipping community ignore the musical because it openly condemns the idea of beeltejuice and lydia having a relationship and a lot of the antis take issue with much of the writing and characterizations of the cartoon just a note that i think is important since were talking about canon

[radiorenjun]

Hug. iv

Pairing: Liu Yangyang x Reader

Genre: Angst, Comedy, Fluff

Warnings: Swearing, Bullying, Attempt Suicide and mentions of self degrading, insecurities, anxiety, negative thoughts, physical injuries.

Looking from the perspective of Liu Yangyang, the boy who bullied a girl to the point she had a scar to burden both of their lives. He lived on with a heavy heart until he finally enters college and bumps into a girl with a familiar scar and the same tattoo on her wrist as his.

Chapters: iii, iv, v

Tags: @wonho-ssi @chuu4you @fullsun-haechanie @you-cant-spell-slay-without-lay @carefreebubble @uglyratlmao @harleyblaze

Yangyang walked down the halls of his school after he was finally dismissed from his class of the day. It had been a while since he came across his supposed soulmate, even then, his life didn't change much. The college life everyone was looking forward to didn't seem as interesting as Yangyang thought.

It was just like his life in high school. He saw a few of his old classmates around the halls and majoring in music didn't seem so exciting than his brother made it out to be. Speaking of his brother , he and Ten agreed that they both should start opening up more to each other just to spend more quality time.

"What?!" Ten exclaimed in the loudest voice possible. Yangyang flinched at the loud tone after confessing what's been on his mind lately. "You got into contact with Y/N L/N again?! That's great! What happened?! Did you two made up?" Ten slammed his palms on the table in excitement.

The bright smile stretched across his brothers face made the memory of his sad smile with bruised lip from back when he was still young flashed his mind. Yangyang winced at the memory before avoiding his brother's eyes.

Yangyang gulped down a chunk of egg yolk before continuing his story. "Nothing much happened, we just came across each other in the same building. And well..." Yangyang paused briefly, biting his lip anxiously as he tried not to eye the mark on his wrist.

"Well?" Ten waited for Yangyang to continue. Yangyang silently tugged on the sleeves of his baggy black hoodie down to reveal his soulmate tattoo, laying his wrist in the table. Ten's eyes darted from Yangyang's to his wrist in confusion before it all clicked.

"Holy. Fuck." Ten gasped, realizing what it meant. Yangyang shushed his brother loudly, putting a finger to his lips, making the sleeves of his hoodie fall down to hide the mark once again. "Ten, you idiot! Chenle's right down the hall!" Yangyang scolded.

"You two are soulmates?!" Ten squealed. Yangyang put his head in his palms in embarrassment, "dont remind me." he mumbled. "Thats-wow. I literally have no words, right now. So what was her reaction?" Ten asked eagerly.

"Well I- I didn't exactly tell her that. I don't think she knows. I don't want her to." Yangyang shook his head profusely, putting his hands in his hoodie pockets to clench his fists. "What? Why?" Ten whined. "Why? Why?! Oh I don't know, Ten, how would you feel if your soulmate is suddenly the kid who bullied you mercilessly back when you were 12?!" Yangyang snapped.

"Okay I get that part but this is your soulmate we're talking bout. They're supposed to love you no matter what!" Ten reasoned. "You dont understand!" Yangyang barked. "She's better off having no soulmate than having her old bully as a soulmate." Yangyang calmed down slightly.

"You don't understand, Ten. This isnt like your relationship with your soulmate. You didn't bully her when you were kids." Yangyang hissed harshly. Ten winced at the mention of his soulmate who had previously passed away.

"Dont bring her into this, Liu Yangyang." Ten snapped, glaring daggers into Yangyangs eyes. "She's your soulmate whether you both want it or not. Your her soulmate whether you feel guilty or not. When the time comes you two will eventually be together, that's how the world works. Okay, kid?" he lectured.

Yangyang felt the pain in his chest tighten. Sighing in defeat, he knew he couldn't battle with fate itself so he did nothing but nodded. "Okay." Yangyang sighed, unclenching his fists. Ten huffed grabbing his plate and walking towards the sink.

"Im sorry for bringing her into this." Yangyang muttered, he hated the thought of his family getting hurt.

"I was just-"

"It's fine. Just promise me you'll talk when something's bothering you." Ten said without giving his brother a single glance. "Okay, baby Yangyang?" Ten grinned, turning his head to his brother who gave him a frown. "Baby- Im not your baby. I'm going to college next month." Yangyang deadpanned.

"Still."

Yangyang walked passed the crowded halls filled with students. His eyes focused on the ground to avoid eye contact, it seemed as if his ears had blurred out all the sounds around him. He felt numb. Yangyang decided that he would walk by the park to get some fresh air before picking up Chenle from his tuitions.

Yangyang walked down the park to see the oh-so-familiar siamese cat that he and Ten rescued months ago, which ran away the moment it saw that Ten was carrying a bucket full of water to bathe the dirty thing despite Yangyang's protests.

"Hey, I remember you." Yangyang spoke softly, kneeling down to brush his fingers against the cat's thin yet fluffy fur. The small creature purred in response as Yangyang gently caressed it's head with his thumb, scratching the underside of its chin.

"How are you, buddy?" Yangyang smiled as the cat stared up at him. "What are you doing here you little rascal?" he giggled to himself. He was too indulged in the cat's hypnotising blue eyes to realise that someone had been coming towards him.

The person kneeled down infront of him, the moment their eyes met with Yangyang. The boy jumped back in surprise, "oh, Y/n!" his body tense at the sight of the girl carrying a small package of cat food. Y/n blushed at the sight of Yangyang, waving shyly before kneeling down to squeeze out some food infront of the cat.

Yangyang avoided her gaze when she patted the small cat's head before pulling out a notebook from her saddlebag, quickly writing down on it before showing it to Yangyang. His eyes widened slightly at the gesture, slowly taking the book in his hands to read what's written.

'Is Yumyum yours?' it read.

"Yumyum?" Yangyang asked, furrowing his brows before looking at the cat, not noticing the flushed look that spread all over the girl's face. "Is that what you name him?" he chuckled, caressing his fingers over the small creature's messy fur as he handed over the girl's notebook back to her.

"No, he's not." he replied, a small smile stretching across his face. "My brother and I found him a couple months ago all wounded. When he got better, he just ran away before we could give him a proper bath." Yangyang chuckled at the memory.

Y/n started writing down quickly on her notebook, the sound of lead scratching on the surface of paper filling their ears as they ignored the people around them. Yangyang looked up, getting a moment to look at his soulmate's appearance as she writes.

The sunlight reflecting on her eyes made it seem as if he was seeing stars in the night sky. Her lips formed into a small pout as she wrote, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Her hair framing her face, exposing her features.

He was brought back to his senses when he realised that y/n was staring back at him in concern, her fingers snapping infront of his face. "Sorry, I was daydreaming." he mumbled, attempting to avoid her gaze by looking down at the cat which was finishing it's meal. He could feel heat taking over his face as Y/n brought her notebook to his line of vision, gesturing for him to read it.

'Not to be rude but, what are you doing here?'

Yangyang let out a soft sigh, sitting down on the concrete with his legs crossed after he put down his violin case carefully on the floor along with his bag. "I just wanted to take a walk before I pick up my cousin from school, then this little guy caught my eye" he replied with a smile. Y/n nodded slowly, her mouth forming a silent 'oh'.

"What are you doing here?" Yangyang asked after a pregnant pause, intertwining his fingers together and laying them on his lap as he stared up at her curiously. Y/n bit her lip before writing down in her notebook once again.

'I started coming here every Friday to feed Yumyum. I like to have sometime after a long week of school.'

"Is being an art major that hard?" he asked, feeling his body relax as he continued to have a conversation with her. Everything felt as if it was meant to be. Y/n was surprisingly nice to talk to, even though she was slightly shy to talk to the person she hasn't seen in years.

Yangyang forgot all bout the tension between them. Her hand pushing against his shoulder when he let out a corny joke, his smile widens as she let's out a silent giggle against her palm. It felt so natural talking to her. As if they had been good friends their whole lives. As if he had never hurted her. As if it didn't feel like a punishment nor a curse to be bounded together by a mark.

Yangyang's eyes widened at the thought, his body tensed up immediately. "I-uh" he stuttered, grabbing his violin case and his bag, slinging it over his shoulder. His hand going over to his left sleeve, tugging it over his fingers behind his back as he stood up abruptly.

"I j-just remembered I gotta pick up my cousin." Yangyang stammered nervously, his heart felt heavy again as he avoided y/n's eyes laced with concern. "I-Im sorry. I h-have to go. I-I'll see you around c-campus," he bit his lip, avoiding her gaze before walking away as fast as he could.

He felt his heart ache as memories flooded his head. 'Shit,' he thought. Flashbacks of him pushing and kicking the young girl, his brother's bruised lip and the bullying he endured fluttered through his mind. He grabbed the waterbottle from his backpack, chugging down some water to calm down.

Yangyang sat alone at the table of the cafeteria like always, mindlessly eating his food. His eyes wandered around the room, gaze falling at the innocent girl with the scar on her lips smiling happily in a table surrounded by her friends.

He sighed at the sight of her, leaning his face against his palm. The sunlight shining on her form making her aura brighter as she let out silent laughs and scribble quickly on her notebook. It felt nice to see the young girl get along with so many people.

Yangyang looked down at his food, playing with food once again. He pondered if this is what life would've been for y/n if he hadn't come into the picture. He wondered if he would be sitting in the same table as her if he hadn't kicked that ball towards her.

Yangyang's thoughts were interrupted when he heard someone pull the two chairs infront of him, two boys filling in the empty spaces. "Liu Yangyang right? The German violin kid who's also in Professor Zhou's class?" the boy who looks as if he came from the sports department.

Yangyang raised his brow, nodding hesitantly. "Great, I'm Guanheng. You can call me Hendery, if you like. This is Xuxi." the other boy introduced, his forearm laying on the table as his other hand pointed towards his friend who waved with a toothy smile in response.

"In case you didn't know. We, too, are also in the same class as you." Hendery smiled. Yangyang nodded in confusion, not seeing why they're sitting infront of him, eyes wandering from theirs to his soulmate's form. "Look, we know that the music project could be done solo and all. But-"

"We need your help!" Xuxi slammed his hands on the table, making Yangyang flinch in shock. Yangyang's eyes widened in surprise before sparing a glance at y/n who was still calmly communicating with her friends.

"What do you need my help for?" Yangyang spoke, raising his brow as he meet their nervous eyes and awkward smiles. "We wanted to do a duet for the project. Then our dumb asses realised we can't play instruments for shit." Xuxi explained.

"So you need my help to be your instrumentals?" Yangyang questioned, raising his brow. "Yes," the two boys said in unison, letting out similar cheeky grins. "Why should I help you guys exactly? I don't even know you guys that well." Yangyang went on.

"He's got a point." Xuxi mumbled to Hendery, only to get shoved by the shoulder. "Come on, we could be your friends! No offense, the table seems empty." Hendery smiled innocently. "I'm good," Yangyang mumbled, going back to his food with his eyes occasionally glancing back at the girl a couple tables away from them.

"Come on, we'll do anything!" Lucas nagged. "Yeah, what you want, Liu? Money? Cheat answers to the exams?" Hendery went on. Yangyang couldn't be bothered to even consider a word they were offering, for he was too busy gazing into the radiant beauty that is his soulmate.

"Yangyang? You listening?" Hendery asked once he realised Yangyang wasn't listening to a word he said. Both boys turned their backs, following Yangyang's eyes to the girl in sight. "Ooh," Xuxi grinned, giving Hendery a knowing smirk.

"Wow man. Didn't know you'd be the type to like someone other than your soulmate but I'll do the job for you-" Xuxi stood up from his chair, causing Yangyang's eyes to widen in panic. He stood up abruptly and reached out to grip his shoulder to stop Xuxi from taking a step further.

He watched as the girls began to stand up and leave the cafeteria. Yangyang let out a sigh of relief before glaring at the two boys, "dont you dare talk to her. I'll join your group, just-" he paused with a click of his tongue. "Just don't talk to her." Yangyang growled, pushing Xuxi's shoulder away before picking up his bag and gripped the case of his violin, leaving without another word.

He jogged out of the cafeteria, ignoring the two boy's loud voices of questioning when to meet up to practice for the project. Yangyang slowed down once he felt like he had gone far enough from the cafeteria, taking small breaths as he walked down the hall.

He stopped when he saw a familiar girl sitting all alone in a table with a pencil hanging on the top of her ears, a ruler in her hand and a piece of paper in their other. Brows furrowed in concentration, tongue slightly stuck out.

Yangyang smiled to himself at the sight of how cute she looked, leaning to get a better look of her expression. But he was soon interuppted by a male stepping into his line of vision, he looked around his age. "Who are you?" the male spoke in a rude tone.

Yangyang took a step back in surprise before stuttering out, "I-I just came here t-to talk to y/n." The male raised a brow in suspicion, frowning as he crossed his arms. "What? Are you like, her friend or something?" he asked.

Yangyang didn't know how to respond. Was he her friend? Or was he still that same bully in her eyes? "I-" he was cut off with a click of the male's tongue. "Thought so," the male then rudely shut the door to his face, leaving a baffled and flustered Yangyang standing in the hallway in confusion.

Yangyang ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He couldn't get this note right for tomorrow's solo presentation, he took a long sip of his Americano, clearing his throat before starting to play once again.

The sound of his violin echoing through the small room, once again. Yangyang's tired eyes never wandering away from the music sheet displayed before him. His mind concentrated on the notes to realise that a girl had walked into the music room.

The sound of a chair grinding against the tile caused Yangyang to jump back in shock, looking back in relief to see y/n placing the chair back to its original place. "Y/n?" Yangyang raised his brow in confusion. "What are you doing here? Curfew's in half an hour." Yangyang asked.

The girl smiled, quickly writing in her notebook and shoving it to the distressed boy's face.

'I was done with my assignment for today, I was heading back to the dorms to hear the beautiful melody of a violin. What are you still doing here?'

Yangyang bit his lip slightly, smiling up at her shyly. "Same here, I just kept getting these notes wrong. I need to get them done before tomorrow," Yangyang explained, scratching the back of his neck with one hand and pointing at the music sheet displayed with his bow in the other.

Y/n nodded, looking around the music room to observe the instruments around them. Yangyang put his violin back in its case, trying to ease his heart rate as he felt his heartstrings being tugged with every movement the girl made.

His left wrist ached to touch hers, but occupied it with tidying up his things and putting them into his case and bag. "Um, I'm closing up soon. You wanna walk back to the dorms together?" Yangyang asked hesitantly, swinging his bag over his shoulder as his eyes wandered to his feet to avoid eye contact.

Y/n nodded, walking out of the room, clutching her notebook in her hands as she waited for Yangyang to lock up the room and walk down the halls together. There was an awkward tension in the atmosphere around them as they didn't know what to talk bout.

Yangyang gulped internally, putting down his violin case as he closed the door, turning the key twice and ensuring the door is locked. Yangyang didn't notice y/n's eyes wandering curiously down his tall form, how his hair was tussled and messy from his fingers running through it I'm frustration.

How his lips were plump and sucked in between his teeth nervously. His freshly dyed brown hair. The baggy sweater making him look casually aesthetic. Y/n knew it's wrong to be looking at her friend like this, especially if Yangyang had a soulmate.

Speaking of soul mates, y/n's eyes wandered down to Yangyang's wrist. The long sleeves of his sweater barely covering the black ink mark staining the skin of his left wrist. Her eyes widened as she spotted two balloons, similar to the ones on hers.

When Yangyang moved away, y/n look up at his eyes which were filled with nervousness. He coughed lightly to release the awkward tension, "let's go." he mumbled shyly, turning to walk to the direction of the dorms before he was held back by a small hand wrapped around his forearm.

Yangyang's eyes widened as he looked back, looking down at the fingers gripping his white sweater tightly as to not make him leave. His eyes hesitantly looked at her own. Yangyang felt like he was going to melt at the sight of her eyebrows furrowed cutely. "Y/n?"

The hand that was on his forearm went down the his wrist, right below his tattoo. She lifted it up, tugging down the sleeves which made Yangyang's eyes widen. "Wait, no-" he stuttered out, trying to tug his wrist out of her grip before she could see the mark.

Unfortunately, he didn't realise how hard he was pulling. With the sheer amount of force he applied to pulling back his wrist, he made the girl fall forwards to the floor, eliciting a small broken hoarse squeak from the girl. "Oh my God, Y/n," Yangyang gasped out, realising his mistake.

His heart clenched. Once again,that excruciating feeling in his chest appeared. He couldn't make himself move to help you get up and once you do, you were looking at him with such concerned eyes, his guilt increased tenfold.

"I-Im sorry, I have to go" were the last words Yangyang stuttered out before sprinting out of there. Trying to go somewhere to clear his clouded mind, leaving his soulmate standing there in confusion. Yangyang took a deep breath as he barged into his dorm room, not caring the questions his roommates bombarded him as he quickly went to his room.

'Life couldn't get any shittier'

A/n: hey! This took me so long forgive me for the delay. I'll probably release the next chapter sooner than later so keep an eye out for that. Sorry for those who waited for so long for this lol. I realised its 12:40 AM and I'm on 10% and there's a chance that I have a quiz tomorrow that I have not studied for. Wml

Btw