#it may be deranged but i agree with everything said

[fayannah]

i’m so sorry for the poor unpaid intern that runs the ace attorney account on instagram

the comment section is fucking deranged

[chibi-celesti]

Time for Your Tune Up(Skully J. Graves)

~TFYTU~

Skully still found this Halloween to be one for him and Jack to remember! Twelve mysterious individuals(and a cute cat mascot!) in outfits in homage of his dear hero, Jack Skellington, shook him down all the way to the marrow of his bones! He (minorly) forgave them for their ignorance of not knowing who Skellington-sama was. They were on thin ice.

The tour he gave them of Halloween Town was sublime. Their curiosity of knowing an elusive admirable king of Scares. An entrepreneur of fears. A God among the dead(take it down a notch, Scully)! He reveled in being their guide of this town he and many call home.

He was swept up in speaking about such history, he neglected to see that his entourage had slowed in their pace. Skully snapped his neck so quickly as he saw them talk amongst themselves. Slithering in the shadows he strained his ears, red eyes glimmering in excitement at what gossip he will hear.

“- need someone to stay with him.”

‘Him?’ Which him is it? Skully thought owlishly.

“He does look seconds away from vomiting his lungs out.”

Blood orange eyes beamed hearing that. ‘Oooooo! Sounds exciting!’

“Does he even have any on his person?”

‘Any what exactly?’ Curiosity will kill him(happily), Skully creeped behind the crowded boys and cat.

“I doubt it. And our magic isn't strong enough to craft into existence.”

“Craft what exactly?”

The NRC students, sans a few, jumped at the sudden sound of their host's voice. “EEKK!/ Why You-!”

He only laughed at the terror he bestowed them. “You should've seen your faces. They were filled with so much dread. I love it!”

“...” The others were not as amused as he was. And I’m sure most of them popped a blood vessel.

“Is there an issue, Skully-san?” Riddle asked, keeping his temper in check.

“I was wondering what your little tea party was all about. You suddenly stopped following me. I was getting lonely.” He cried.

“It's nothing to worry about, Skully-san.”

“You sure, Jamil-chan. You were all whispering about someone seconds away from vomiting their lungs out~”

“You were eavesdropping?!”

“You boys weren't subtle about your group huddle. Ghosts, the wind; even the Hills and spider infested catacombs and mausoleum have ears and listen to everything.”

“...”

“...”

“Our friend is a little lightheaded. He needs to take his medicine to fix it, but unfortunately neither he nor us have any extras on our persons.”

“I see, I see.” It was obvious to him which of these brats’ health wasn't doing too great. “Could it be your colorful friend, Yumei-chan?”

“How did-!” A bone decorated glove fixed his glasses, and then casually pointed to the boy in question sleeping on the ground by the fountain like a corpse. “And you're not quite subtle.”

The boy with the eyepatch-Leona-growled at him. ‘How cute,’ He thought.

“Y-yes. We're worried about him, and were thinking about finding a way to help him.” The smaller boy-Epel-confessed.

‘Is that so?’“Hmmm~. Perhaps I can be of assistance~”

“Say that again?”

“May I be of assistance to your friend? Surely there's something I can do to help.”

“I seriously doubt it. A deranged weeabo of your stature would react like any normie unused to this.”

“I concur.” Vil agreed with Idia.

“Come now, mina-san. Do you all really wish to argue, or do you want your friend to live?”

That was quick enough to stop their arguing. He couldn't help but laugh at their collective reluctance for his help. “Fine. But be quick about it!”

Malleus Draconia, who was a bit more protective over the ailing boy, stepped away so Skully could get closer. He gave a quick glance at the symptoms shown on Yumei’s face and body language. Grave’s deduction skills were spot on; another like he needed that particular geode to live. Good thing he came prepared.

He cleared his throat. “This will need a bit more of a special touch from me. I do apologize in advance, gentlemen.”

“Huh?” They all said.

Carefully the eccentric boy peeled away Yumei’s collar, exposing his Installer Port on his neck. He internally squealed at the sight, and leaned ever so close…

A small moan escaped from unconscious lips, as Yumei twisted and turned from the sensation on his most sensitive part of his body. His classmates’ jaws hit the floor witnessing Graves committing an adulterous act on their friend. ‘WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH PROVIDING AID TO HIM!?!?!?’ They all thought.

Despite the unconscious state he was in, the Reyvateil whined and clung to Skully as he kissed and licked at his Port shamelessly. Tears prickling his eyes all the while Skully was intimate with his neck.

If there was a time they wished they had their magic on them it would be now. The whole NRC group suffered the seven stages of shock, unyielding rage, and envy(except for Grim who was hiding in Tsunotarou's jacket, and Epel whose eyes were covered by Vil the moment it started). Even Trey and Jae, the most(somewhat) reserved boys were debating on either reprimanding Skully, or think of millions gruesome ways to beat him up.

The shaggy haired boy left Yumei’s neck with one last kiss, and casually pulled out a Life Extending Agent from his tailcoat pocket. He placed the Agent right on the Port and smiled, seeing the worried lines and wrinkles fade away leaving the bluenette in a state of peace.

Trey blinked his eyes many times trying to process what he just witnessed. “He…had one?”

“You…all this time, you had one?”

“WHAT BLASPHEMY IS THIS!?!?! HOW DID YOU PROCURE A DIQUILITY CRYSTAL, HUMAN?!”

“That, my friends, is a secret I'll take to my grave~” He grinned, drinking in the Night Raven students’ frustration.

Later, back home in Twisted Wonderland:

Yumei was rubbing at his neck carefully, minding the placement of his port. He couldn’t shake off this nagging sensation forming in his mind.

“Oi, Yumei. You ok?”

“I’m fine, Grim,” He petted his companion.

“Promise.”

“You keep rubbing at your neck. What gives?”

“I dunno. It’s like, someone touched it, but like…” He shook his head. “Nevermind. It’s nothing.”

“Nothing, my high end! Spill it to your boss!”

“No!”

“C’mon! Please?”

“No.”

“Please, with a tuna can on top~”

“NO! Last thing I want is to traumatize you again!” He donned his witch’s hat.

“I was not traumatized!” He turned his away in denial.

“Sure~” He picked up his furry friend. “Now, let’s go trick-or-treating!”

“Candy time~~~”

They stepped out of the decorated Ramshackle and ran into the festivities of Halloween in Twisted Wonderland, passing by many visitors who came by on campus. Almost bumping into a shaggy, black and white haired youth with orange eyes.

“Ah! So sorry. I was in a hurry and-”

Blood orange eyes and a small smile acquainted the duo. “It’s fine. Just be mindful of your surroundings~” He kissed the Reyvateil’s hand, and then Grim’s forehead, which earned him a complaint.

“Uh, yeah. Sorry again.” He bowed before taking off. The eyes of the odd stranger never left his form, even after he vanished into the crowd.

[xclowniex]

I don’t know if it makes me a horrible person but I’m actually kind of glad seeing Yuval (feels very weird saying that seeing as my uncle is called יובל) getting ripped to shreds by his ‘supporters’. Like, not happy, but just sort of satisfied??? I had to unfollow him when I was still on tiktok because he was promoting ahistorical bullshit and demonising Israelis. It’s extra shitty because the first ever video he made on the conflict was actually fairly balanced and recognised Jewish self determination and being indigenous to the levant, and then he deleted it, apologised, and started erasing Jewish history because he thought he could bend to these people’s will. His account prides itself on being informed and factual and fair, and yet he pulls a stunt like that, and I can only imagine how much worse he’s gotten since I deleted tiktok

We all knew that this would happen. The harassers knew it would, at least in their subconscious. It was only him who didn’t. They’ve pushed him to the very edge because now the baseline for being like them is to view the Shoah as a couple thousand people dying for basically being Christians, and it’s made special because they were white, and now that he’s stepped out of line a little they are coming for him. Maybe it’ll snap him out of being an idiot who sells out his own people so that he can be seen as a good person instead of like, actually being a good person. But he’ll probably just try to curry their favour again and fail over and over and over. Idk. It’s a weirdly gratifying but also incredibly depressing thing to see that what you predicted was going to happen was exactly right

(and I know some idiots are going to try to twist this into saying ‘you think fundraising for Palestinians is evil!!!’ because the anons you get are absolutely deranged. That’s not my problem with him or his account, wanting to fundraise for families is great and, as long as they’re verifiably real, it’s a good way to directly help people without their aid being taken away and siphoned off by Hamas. My problem with him is that in an effort to be the token Good Jew tm he completely revises history, spreads propaganda and false info, and vilifies every point of Israel’s life as a state. Plus he can’t even pronounce his own name right lol)

100% with everything you said.

I don't think you are a bad person for having a sense of "I told you so" towards what he is experiencing. It sucks and no jew should experience antisemitism, however two things can be true at once.

Its only natural to feel almost a sense of vindication, a "see look, I told you all this was going to happen and none of you listened to me and now you're suffering too"

I also agree that he will likely bend to their favor. He has shown some backbone in regards to his apology video where he stood behind his original message but apologized if his wording was off and re-worded his statement. This is all my assumption as I am not in his head, but I feel like his backbone on this came from sheer disbelief that face eating leopards ate his face. We may see this end up as a turning point where he stops pandering, or he might continue to pander either out of wanting to be accepted or because of other commitments like Ayame. She might not want to continue to make content with him due to the backlash and boom there goes his biggest series + a potential relationship as I'm unsure if it's just for views or if they are genuinely interested in each other.

[discluded]

My Top 10 memorable 2022 MileApo moments 💚💛

In no particular order,

Mile defending Apo and telling him he's not weird. Mile Phakphum #1 apocolleague #1 Apo defender #1 Apo protector 😖

2. Whatever they put in the water that day at the XBlush shoot 🥴

3. The Moon Represents My Heart at KPWT Taipei (curse you one video per post Tumblr limit). The audible gasp and excitement from the audience when they realized what song it was!!!

4. MileApo at the Vogue Thailand Gala. Everything about them and how beautiful they were... Mile had just gotten out of COVID isolation #2 and now they had a Vogue spread and were mingling with the movers and shakers of the Thai ent industry. Also specifically these boyfriend soft launch selfies 😖

5. Paper Mile at the KPWT send off. This one was bittersweet and making the best of a bad situation... Apo was doing his best to have Mile be included but even Apo was not his usual sparkly self. The appearance of paper Mile per the request of quarantined Mile really put the smile back on his face.

6. Sharing dessert and water in the Red Sea Film Festival IGL

7. Apo taking this sexy photo of Mile in Phuket and immediately being exposed as the photographer. Thank you @ apovision for God's work and thank you @/may for exposing them.

8. Mile replying to this tweet. Yeah it's a tweet. Yeah he interacts with many fan tweets. But trust me, this is the one that made all of us deranged. It's the reason why I'm deranged now. I think about this all the time.

9. Mile and Apo kissing live at KPWT Bangkok. I'm just going to make peace with the fact that we're likely never gonna see another live kiss at a KPWT show again. But we got this one.

10. Holding up the pride flag together at KPWT Taipei. Wasn't Taipei beautiful!?! 😭 It was a beautiful moment for the entire cast and the audience, since it was Pride Week in Taipei 🌈

Bonus: 11. Meeting all of you 🥰💕 Yeah I'm sappy as heck, what are you gonna do about it.

If you've ever sent me an anon or liked or reblogged one of my posts or followed me or stalk my blog but don't have a Tumblr or written fic or drawn fanart or written meta or made gifs or made edits or trended for MileApo, thank you for making fandom a fun place. If you've learned anything new about yourself or the world or changed your perspective in life because of anything I reblogged, I'm glad something I said or did affected you 🥰

We often talk about about when being in fandom is annoying, but really, it's a community. If you've stayed, thanks for embracing respecting each other and loving KinnPorsche and loving Mile and Apo and the people in their lives (which includes all of us!)

Maybe the real MileApo was the friends we made along the way 🥹🥹🥹 (Mile would agree because he is equally sappy like me).

Many other beautiful memories I wanted to include... but I loved these so much. It was hard picking favorites, but I'm gonna 😤

Bonus runners up:

Looking like a royal couple at their first fan meet

KPWT Seoul date (are you going to give us the video or not BOC...)

Apo lifting Mile in the KPWT Taipei behind the scenes video

Mile discretely rubbing Apo's waist underneath his suit jacket at the D7 event 🤭🤭🤭

KPWT Taipei goodbye (x2)

(alright no more for real or else I'm gonna be here all day)

[blazehedgehog]

ICYMI: My Sonic Frontiers Criticism/Essay Is Out Now

So here's the last four months of my life come to fruition: the longest piece of edited criticism I've ever put on my Youtube channel, clocking in at just over an hour. For those of you that may be new around here, I am pretty against making long videos. I don't know if I overthink things too much or what, but it's rare for me to have much tolerance for feature-length reviews of things. They can wear me out just watching them, and it definitely wears me out to make them.

But sometimes you just have a lot to say. And I didn't even necessarily say everything I could have said here; there were things I would have added if not for the looming deadline proposed by the video sponsor. That's not a complaint -- sometimes you need someone else to tell you "be done by this date or else." Limitations foster creativity and toiling away at perfection can sometimes be just as toxic as crunch.

What I was trying to say is it's a big video, and it was hard keeping everything straight in my head because there was so much. One of those times where I was glad how I planned things out in advance, because sometimes the thoughts you had four months ago are not the same thoughts you have today, and the thoughts from four months ago were better.

It's already proving to be a bit of a divisive video, given I am going against the grain here. But I'm a big boy. I've spent time on the front lines of these sorts of things before. I know how to handle myself. I mean, half the reason I started my tumblr back in the day was pointing out some of the truly deranged takes I'd get in the replies to my Sonic 06 video.

Though I do worry. I'm getting a lot of people who are... politely declining to tell me what they think. More than a few "I don't agree with you, but I'm glad you released this video" that then never elaborate further. And that makes me feel bad? But why? Do I want to argue with my friends? Not particularly.

But more to the point, are people afraid to argue with me? Do I get too aggressive? I've picked up on a vibe, not just from friends, where people seem to go out of their way to avoid arguments with and/or around me. I mean I literally just said I started my Tumblr blog as a "get a load of this guy in my comments" spotlight (which, for the record, I don't do anymore). I don't want to be scary. But is it scary, or is it a strength? Or am I just imagining the whole thing? History says it's probably that last one, but it doesn't stop me from wondering. It's a lot to chew on.

At the end of the day, I do think parts of this script could have been better. I do kind of get a little mean at a couple points in ways I could have written around. A lot of people are bristling at the opening spiel, where I get more than a little "you people" about the Game Awards voting situation. There's another part later in the video where I also feature actual comments from a previous video and as I was editing it together I thought, "this sounds mean." But given I was less than 24 hours away from that deadline, I just had to roll with it (so I at least blurred the names and cropped the avatars out).

I'll end this post by quoting what I wrote on Patreon day before yesterday for the early access version of this video:

What a march this has been. I've worked on some videos that felt like they took forever, but nothing like this. This felt like the project that would never end. Some of that's because, after pushing myself so hard on the Sonic Adventure 2 video, I tried to be a little more casual with this one. I think I started the script around the end of April, a couple weeks after finishing the game on-stream. The idea was to avoid burnout.  And then the script grew, and grew, and grew, to be the longest script I've ever written. After doing voice over, I had three hours of material I had to cut down. I captured more than 60 hours of gameplay from more than 50 games. Thank goodness I took the time to stop and "storyboard" out this review like I did with the SA2 video. It actually proved to be extremely valuable here -- with a video this long, that takes so long to put together, it's hard to keep all of your ideas hot and ready in your head. Often I'd fall back to the storyboard and realize I planned something months ago that was way better than what I was doing in the moment.  And then in July, a sponsor came calling again. Suddenly I had a real deadline. The last four weeks have been a race to move this mountain of material into something resembling the shape of a video. The last couple days in particular have felt something like a miracle. A work ethic I hadn't tapped into in years suddenly roared to life as I locked down 20+ minutes of video in a matter of hours. It may have involved several actual panic attacks and me running on about four hours of sleep, but here we are. I was revising the script all the way up until a week ago. In retrospect, the sponsor segment probably leans a little too much on SAGE content, but by the time I realized that the train was barreling down the tracks too fast to stop. Thoughts for next time, I guess.

Patrons get a PDF of the script I used, including an unfinished earlier draft I abandoned where I think I was actually even meaner about it, if you can believe it. They also get a PDF of what my "storyboarding" process looks like (which is all just text).

I'll probably toss up a post for all the art I made for this video, too.

[ikamigami]

There's a bit of bitter irony in the fact that in a way, you could argue New Moon set himself up for a self-fulfilling prophecy, he believed he needed to be better than Old Moon, despite the fact that his family made it clear how much they cherish New Moon and how Moon doesn't need to surpass his old self, he's perfect as he is and they'll help him through his struggles, that he was already better than Old Moon simply by having healthy relationships with his siblings and being a decent person, he believed he needed to bring Solar back for everyone's happiness even though his family told him they wouldn't blame him if he couldn't, and one could argue HE really wanted Solar back and that is valid, but he again could turn to others for help, like why didn't he ask Monty to help him since despite Monty's dislike for Solar he'd help Moon because even if they weren't as tight as Old Moon and Monty were Monty would still care, and Puppet gave him many reasons as to why his plan would go wrong, king of which being his plan would put his family in peril from whatever it might create, the Astral's wrath, and/or the universe's heat-death being expedited, his family who he promised to protect and had done a great job of up to that point(minus Solar but he was a special case as Ruin tricked everyone save Eclipse…Who was literally made by Ruin) and who Old Moon demanded he protect And then he proceeded to sabotage all of it and end up fulfilling that fear that he's not better than Old Moon by breaking all those promises, putting everyone at risk, deeply hurting, betraying, and threatening his family and friends, and then trying to kill Earth, and by that point he already was planning on walking out of the family and may have been thinking he'll get replaced with Old Moon(thanks to Monty's brazen actions), which is ironic again because it was through his actions, and the manipulating hand of Dark Sun slowing Eclipse and showing up to rip out the chip that both allowed Old Moon to be revived separately and led to New Moon fulling giving into his derangement, he basically engineered this self-fulfilling prophecy where he did become as bad/worse than Old Moon and that inadvertently led to Old Moon's return, not to say it's entirely his fault due to Dark Sun and Ruin's involvement in engineering the situation to begin with, Ruin is the one ultimately to blame for Solar's death and Dark Sun stoked the flames, but New Moon still takes the lion's share for choosing a path he never needed to walk down Was thinking about this based on what Puppet said about "replacement", I personally do not think New Moon is replaced as its clear by what Earth and Sun say that New Moon still has a place in their hearts, that there's a part of them that still loves New Moon, they're just severely hurt and enraged by everything that happened, and both are still awkward around Old Moon, and again it needs to be pointed out New Moon's family never disowned him, he was the one who decided to walk out on them even before he tried killing Earth and immediately started attempting to call Dark Sun his new brother much to Dark Sun's chagrin, and some will say "that's because he misses having a family", which may be true, but the point is he had one, a very loving and supportive one that WAS helping him through the grief right up until he decided to "snap" At least that's one interpretation one could make

I actually agree with you, dear anon.

This is very well said and there isn't more that I could add to this.

I think that New Moon was main reason to why he.. ended up the way he did..

Also I think that Dark Sun only fuelled Moon's paranoia..

Ruin isn't that much to blame.. I mean I don't think that Solar's death is a main reason for why New Moon ended like that..

Cause we saw that New Moon was grieving normally.. in messy and hard way but it was still grieving..

Only after that vivid dream he started being more aggressive and murderous..

And I think that this is caused by Creator.. I am probably wrong but I just crave for more Creator's content.. after all the last thing he did was an attempt to kidnap Lunar.. and that's it..

He's the main villain so show us more of his genius! I think that he's underestimated in the fandom too much.. cause people don't consider him a threat.. and I'm like "No! Y'all falling into this trap! Showrunners want you to let your guard down regarding him! He's the worst!"

I'm vigilant! /nsrs /j

I'm really suspicious of him..

I even consider Dark Sun to be not that bad as Creator.. and I mean that I wouldn't be surprised if Dark Sun turned out to try to help..

Also worth pointing out.. Creator was the first one who wanted Solar dead.. imagine if he knew that he'll die and will be brought back.. I mean after all he offered Moon the deal..

I think that Creator is waiting for the opportunity.. and it'll present itself soon enough.. and all because others can't cooperate with each other.. smh /lh

But seriously.. why those characters who were able to see a part of future can't team up together? I think that if everyone decided to fight a common enemy - Creator - they'd be able to achieve something..

Creator is winning despite him being so egotistical to the point that he couldn't agree with himself because of incompetence of others.. of those who try to stop him.. or that's what I think..

But I agree with everything you said regarding New Moon! Well said, dear anon, well said 👏

[magxit]

I'm sorry, but I think this fandom assumes too much. We assume that if something positive about their relationship comes out in a media outlet that Tree uses , it is automatically from Tree. I'm just not 100% convinced that is the case. Maybe the May stuff came from Tree, but maybe it was just people talking or people making their own conclusions. Or maybe someone literally said....."we see an engagement in the near future for sure"....and the publication ran with it. Tabloids are full of as many half truths as they are lies, and it is a common thread throughout Taylor's life in the public to begin marriage rumors months after she's in a relationship. So, to act as if we KNOW those articles came directly from Tree is just not a guarantee for me. I do think marriage is on their agenda, but I also think they're going to keep that stuff very close to the chest. I think the denial just came now and not then from a place of being tired of the constant bullshit they endure from breakup rumors, fake relationship rumors, engagement rumors, family conflict rumors, distraction rumors, etc. I think it just came to a head, and this was a not so subtle way of telling people to back off and remind them that they do not know the ins and outs of this relationship. They aren't hiding, but they aren't sharing the intimate details of their lives either. And maybe by not denying everything back in May, they created a bigger monster. But let's not be delusional, tabloid gossip and fans play a huge part in creating these rumors. We know 75% of what we read is clickbait, and that clickbait is made for fans' engagement. And the truth is, it often starts from shit these gossip mongers read online or stuff that is sent to them from the most parasocial (and/or deranged) fans. We've witnessed it. We've told people to shut up before shit blows up and makes it to the media. Idk....before we decide Tree needs hung from a limb, maybe consider the articles didn't come directly or indirectly from her, but at the time, there was no pressing reason to address or deny them.

Yes, I agree with you but all I will say is all of the big blogs/twitter accounts were screaming that it was from Tree and that did help create this mess.

[teriyakichop]

You're seriously becoming unhinged. Reading your posts, even scanning through from the beginning when it all started shows a downward path and unraveling coming from you. In all seriousness, with no sarcasm or ill-will, get some help. You're putting on display someone in a downward spiral, holy fuck. It's not cute, you aren't getting any sort of clout or giving off any vibes other than: help me.

All seriousness? Ok. Let's be serious about this. Before I reply to you, I just want to say that the ONLY reason why I am replying to you is because you took the time to message me directly and speak to me like a human being, while also being stern. I can respect that. I don't know what your interpretation of what "unhinged" is, but I assure you that I am mentally stable, and sound. Do I get angry? Of course. It's human to get angry. But I don't stay angry. My anger rises and falls just like everyone else. What you're seeing from me is Exhaustion. I'm tired. I'm exhausted. Now, maintaining all of this while I am tired, THAT is unhealthy. I can definitely agree to that. Keep in mind also, that what you're seeing is a path of one person talking to a bunch of other people who are A, speaking about too many unnecessary subjects into the subject matter, B, twisting my words into statements that I never said, and C, demonizing me about a situation that they don't understand. People have the impression that I am not competent to handle the situation with Xyzis and the alleged pedophile accusations, while ALSO refusing to seek what it was that I've actually done in relation to the pedophile accusations. I am not a machine, and I am not sugar spice and everything nice. I understand that some people want me to be, but I'm not. At the same time, I'm fully capable of knowing right from wrong, justice from injustice. And I don't need anyone's opinions on whether or not I am "deranged" or "unhinged." All I asked was for people to approach me like a human being and ask questions, request information, things like that. INSTEAD, because Wyrmguard and other propaganda blogs SENSATIONALIZE situations and circumstances, people refuse to see the actual truth, and make their decision based on how hyped the situation has become. That's why I said, the fireworks happened, and the Wyrmguard people didn't see it. But it did happen, and the people that saw it, are VERY happy. Now I have people volunteering information to me to make even more fireworks, and some people want to make fireworks of their own.

This Pedophile situation caused an entire underground movement to form, and everyday I see people drawing their lines in the sand and picking a side. Hell, there are people who HATE me with a passion, and they're giving me information on the guilds with DNIs against my guild, just because they want the injustice to stop. This movement has been a long time coming, and the Pedophile accusations, and the demonizing of ME was the straw that broke the camel's back for A LOT of people. YOU may not see it, but behind the scenes, I've help a lot of people over the years. I funded hundreds of thousands of gold to struggling guilds. I've donated free WoW monthly gametime. I've arranged RP meet and greets in the most random of places and players enjoyed the RP events I've hosted. I geared myself for heroics just so that I can help other players get AotC achievements before the season ended. And I cannot even begin to tell you how many MOG runs I've done for players, especially where the weapon "Taeshalach" dropped for so many players, and even when it dropped for me, and even when I wanted it, I open trade and give it to someone else. I have a very solid and positive history with many players who are sick and tired of the Wyrmguard tumblr, SCA, SLP, Grand Alliance, Warcraft Conquest, and the other groups. And this pedophile situation, along with the accusation that I am "Defending" the accused pedophile, was the spark they needed to throw the gauntlet. Trust me. I'm not crazy, or deranged, or unhinged, or anything like that. I am a guild leader. And as a guild leader, I get attention from countless players. Those that love me, those that hate me, those that plot against me, those that want to plot with me...and it is all exhausting. Don't get me wrong. I can see from your perspective how things look, and how I appear to be deranged and unhinged. But again, keep in mind, there's only ONE of me, while there is a bunch of players speaking to me all at once, coming at me from different angles. I went on Wyrmguard and counted 11 posts about me alone in the week, 3 to 4 posts a day about me. I'm banned so I can't respond to all of that, and even if I wasn't banned, there's too many people to respond to. My perspective is WAY different from yours, and I just want you to keep that in mind. And for the last time, I'm mentally fine. Tired? yes. Exhausted? Absolutely. Unhinged and/or deranged? No. Now, with EVERYTHING I said, ask yourself this: Does Yuliyrel sound like an unhinged person, with a reply like this? I'd like to know your answer, as your answer will define everything. <3

[theharpermovieblog]

#HARPERSMOVIECOLLECTION

2024 MOVIE LIST

www.tumblr.com/theharpermovieblog

I watched Saltburn (2023)

I'm late to the party on this one, but all the better that the hype has died down a bit. But, if you are reading this, you may want to watch the movie first because I might spoil a bit for you.

A poor young man at Oxford befriends a rich student and soon becomes obsessive after being brought to the rich student's home.

A lot was said to me about this movie before viewing, all about how crazy it is. And, while there is definitely some crazy weird shit in here, it's certainly not the highlight of the movie.

"Saltburn" is a gorgeously shot and beautifully directed film, which sports a great cast, all of whom are giving great performances.From a technical standpoint, this is a delight to watch.

The writing is wonderful, the characters are deep enough to be interesting and the lead is a lovely and infatuating villain.

On top of all that, there are individual scenes here which are true bits of perfection. Especially the lunch scene after Oliver's birthday, and of course, that nude dance of triumph is possibly one of the best endings to a 21st century film. These scenes are not just technically well done, they are reminders of the heart of dark humor at the center of "Saltburn".

So many people compare this to "The Talented Mr. Ripley". While it does have similarities to that story, it's the comedy that really puts "Saltburn" in its own category. The film puts the audience in a place where we can revel in the villain's eventual success. Yes, the film has its darker, more disturbing moments, but these moments serve to create a sublimely deranged character who we do end up smiling with in the end. We might not agree with what Oliver has done, but there is a part of us thinking, with an excited smirk, "That cheeky bastard."

And, let's hear it for Barry Keoghan. In a film of great performances, he stands out (as he does in everything he's in.) You even have to wonder if "Saltburn" would work as well without him.

Is this a perfect film? No. Certainly, like a piece of cake, Saltburn is more sugar and fat than nutrition, but I'm not complaining. It's decadent and delicious and the conclusion is worth the interesting journey.

[johnnyrobish]

Trump Bursts Out in All-Caps Tirade After Notification He’s Target in Jan 6th Probe 

Former president Donald Trump took to his Truth Social account to announce (in all caps) that he received a letter from the Justice Department informing him that he is a target of the long-running investigation into efforts to overturn the 2020 presidential election.  Trump then accused Special Counsel Jack Smith of being “deranged” and labeled Attorney General Merrick Garland’s actions as “unethical,” claiming “Nothing like this has ever happened in our Country before, or even close.”  Rolling Stone reports the Special Counsel’s letter to Donald Trump related to Jan. 6 listed the federal statutes under which Trump is expected to be charged, including conspiracy, obstruction, and civil rights violations.  The letter mentions three federal statutes: Conspiracy to commit an offense or to defraud the United States; deprivation of rights under color of law; and tampering with a witness, victim, or informant.

Wow, all I can say is this Donald Trump fellow just keeps on “winning!”  Or was that “keeps on whining?”  That said, I do have to agree with him on one thing - that “Nothing like this has ever happened to our country before.”  I’d say, “Barbarians at the gate,” but, of course, the Barbarians were much more civilized than these MAGAs.  I mean, if this keeps up, the RNC may have to revise their rules to permit candidates with dozens of felonies pending to still be allowed to run for president.

Now, I could be wrong, but it appears like it may be finally dawning on the Orange Mussolini that he may be in some very serious legal jeopardy, and he seems a little stressed.  Perhaps some chamomile tea might help?  Mark my words - one of these days - we’ll turn on the news and hear something like, “Breaking news; White Bronco leaving Mar-a-Lago.”  Fat man walking?  I often wonder if he ever wishes he could just go back to the good old days of conning banks to get bogus loans.

Of course, Republicans are calling “foul play” and claiming Democrats are just charging Trump with multiple felonies because they know these charges will strengthen his appeal with primary voters, which will allow him to win the Republican primary - but will ultimately badly weaken him and the GOP during the general election.  Really?  Because if that’s the case, how about just not voting for someone under criminal indictment during the primaries?  Just a thought.

The funny thing is, isn’t it interesting how Trump only questions the DOJ’s motives?  He never really addresses the actual charges of which he has been accused.  Why, its almost as if he’s not being completely forthright about everything.  Then, in pure Trump fashion, he uses the entire situation to once again do more fundraising.  Well, no surprise there.  After all, the Trump motto has always been, “Ask not what your country can do for you.  Ask what your country can do for me.”

If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at:

[fallcrestrpg]

lıllı Radcliffe Hotel: Calvetti/Holstein Suite - Late Night/Early Morning 12/25 ıllıllı

LUKE

It had definitely taken them quite a bit to get the babies to simmer down enough to even consider _starting_ their bedtime routines after the copious amounts of sugar they'd all had. But eventually, exhaustion won out and each set of parents was able to scoop up their respective gremlins to take back to their suites and get ready for bed.

Luke wasn't entirely certain, but she was pretty sure that most of the others probably didn't have as much trouble getting their kids to finally knock out as she and Keagan had with the twins. As she closed their bedroom door behind them, she let out a breath and whispered, "I don't think the others had to wait until nearly three a.m. to have some grown-up time."

KEAGAN

*Enough to keep them up till midnight*, they said. The twins proved that oh-so-wrong. "Was it because they got very excited with your gift on top of the cake they ate? Excited with good reason, of course." Keagan dropped herself on top of the bed. "By grown-up time, do you mean *sleep*?" She snorted, "We.. should get cleaned up ourselves and get some rest. God knows when the girls will wake up again." Honestly, she was tempted to just.. not. "Sky and Miles Holstein-Calvetti. They have a nice ring to them." She chuckled as she flipped over in order to look at the other.

LUKE

They were pretty sure that the stupid grin that immediately came over their face at the reminder of how well the girls reacted to their new names made her look borderline deranged, but she couldn't be bothered to care. The idea of having her own little family, and the knowledge that the girls had already been treated well -and would continue to do so- was something that Luke that only ever allowed themselves to remotely think about when they had been exceedingly young. The fact it was happening was mind-blowing. "I meant more like 'being able to breathe without running the risk of a hand being shoved in our mouths', because I don't really know if sleep is something that's been in my vocabulary for a while," she chuckled out in response.

At the mention of how well the new names sounded, her hand almost instinctively went to her jean's pocket. "Yeah," she agreed with a light chuckle, mentally debating if she should or shouldn't go forth, but ultimately deciding to commit and let the chips fall where they may.

"I admittedly had planned for that gift to be given to them a bit earlier in the night, so that there wouldn't be all this attention brought to it, but with everything that happened, plans went out the window," Luke began, hand still fidgeting in her pocket. "I did also plan for us to have been able to get a way from everything, even for a little bit, much earlier than now. Mainly because I know that you're not too keen on having your all of your personal business out there, _but_ I do feel that it's only fair that if the girls have new names, that- well, uh...well, that their mom get the option to _match_..." Luke trailed off as she pulled out what she'd been fidgeting with in her pocket. "I know that we've got things to sort out, but I also know that I'd rather spend the rest of my life doing that with you than giving up on what we've just gotten the chance to actually enjoy." Opening up the small cloth in her hand, she held it out to Keagan.

KEAGAN

Keagan chuckled, "It's mostly Sky I'm more wary of - she flails around way more than Miles does. Like, it's a hazard I'm sure to the point that I'm very thankful that we gave Erin, Tomi and her a really large bed. It'd be a sad day for Sky if she had to sleep separately." Maybe having her be extra enthusiastic today was a good thing? Would she too tired now to flail?

Not entirely sure where Luke was going with the way she was sort of rambling, Keagan sat up from the bed with her arms supporting her from behind. At first, she thought it was still about the girls, but then Luke mentioned something about *her* getting the to match.. the new names. Her brows scrunched together momentarily as she thought about the implications behind it but her questions was quickly answered right after that.

Her eyes grew widened the sight of the ring. That had her sitting upright. "Luke.." She whispered, "Is- Are you proposing?" While the topic of marriage did come up earlier today, she definitely didn't expect this. Her hand reached out and took the ring carefully.

LUKE

The question immediately prompted Luke to drop to her own knees so that she and Keagan were closer to eye level. The fact the mama wolf reached out to take the ring was somewhat reassuring, but if there was anything she'd learned in life, it was that there were surprises at every turn. "I know the last time you tried your hand at the whole marriage thing, it didn't quite go so well, and though I can't promise to be the perfect spouse, I can give you my word that I will always be _aiming to be_. Because, I don't know if anyone's told you before, but you deserve that and so much more and, if you'll allow me, I'd like the opportunity to be the one to give that to you."

Sitting back on her own legs so that she was looking up at the older woman, Luke gave a half smile as she said, "So, yeah. I guess to answer your question, I am asking _will you marry me_?"

KEAGAN

Her last marriage not going well was such an understatement that Keagan could help but give a light snort at that though she didn't say anything else as Luke continued. If anything, her eyes just softened once again as Luke promises to her. She would argue that Luke was already as perfect as they come but she had a feeling that her words won't be convincing enough for the other. Not the one who liked to cry in public but the Paladin's words and this situation altogether was just so overwhelming. In the best way.

Of all the things she ever hesitated about, this wouldn't be one of them. "Yeah..*Yes*." A chuckle caught in her throat from all the emotions before Keagan threw herself forward to wrap her arms around the neck of the taller woman. "I'll marry you."

LUKE

As paradoxic as it seemed, Luke had spent her time leading up to this preparing for what she would do in the event of 'no'. Even though it was the lesser likely of the two answers, it was still a possibility and, with the girls now involved as both of their children, it just made sense for her to think of what options would be available in the event of things going not great...That being said, it did mean that an answer of 'yes' completely left her brain going 'brrrp' as she attempted to process it.

Luke found herself unable to respond until she had Keagan already wrapped around her. "Sorry," she chuckled as wrapped her own arms around Keagan's middle, "I'm not used to things actually playing out in my favor twice in a row. But I can't say I have any complaints."

KEAGAN

She wondered what the twins' reactions will be once they find out about this. Hopefully they will be as ecstatic about this as they were finding out about the name change. Shifting enough to allow her hand to come in between them, Keagan head up the ring. "Will you put this on me?" She looked down at the ring, "It's a beautiful ring by the way. Did you choose that by yourself?" Now she was wondering if anyone knew about the proposal. "This also means that you'll have Calvetti in your name too. Would you look at that?"

LUKE

"My hope from the moment I learned that you were pregnant, has always been to provide the tiny new life coming into this world an entirely different, and much better experience than I myself ever had. It pained me to see the twins have to endure the only family they'd ever known, torn apart but, I can only hope that this will help to provide something tangible for them to see their family is healing and becoming what it has always been meant to be," she whispered, safe in the knowledge that, between Keagan's hearing and their close proximity, this would be enough to be heard.

Taking the ring gingerly from Keagan, Luke smiled and said, "I'm glad you think so. Considering I did in fact choose it myself, it would be a shot to my ego if you found it gaudy or too simple." She chuckled at the remark. "Yes, and it only took us from the day Lyra dragged a six year-old weird kid to her house, until now," placing the ring on Keagan's left ring finger, "Would you look at that, indeed."

KEAGAN

"Well.. It was my fault for putting the twins in that situation in the first place - just wished I had fixed my mistake sooner if I weren't such a coward." She shrugged, "I'm so glad that the girls have you in their lives. Anyone can tell just how much they look up to you... And now they get to officially call you *mom*." She smiled, agreeing that this really was becoming how it had meant to be. "Fated, is that what this would be?" She teased.

"I love it. Why green? Out of curiosity." It did come as a surprise. Perhaps she was used to seeing the regular diamonds as engagement rings. As 'simple' as Luke might have thought, Keagan did love it - most of it was because it was Luke's choice and knowing her, there would be a lot of thought put into it. "It might've been the only good thing Lyra did all these years."

LUKE

"If _fated_ is what this is, then there's not much good in kicking ourselves for what's been done because in the end, they were all necessary stepping stones right up to this very moment," Luke replied, her tone a touch more serious as she aimed to reassure the older woman that past was prologue. "We have an entire future to look forward too now, and hopefully, one where we can find something other than mom for the girls to call me, because I can already foresee that getting _very_ confusing," she laughed lightly.

"Emerald is the twins' birthstone, and considering how they came to be, I couldn't think of anything -as corny as this is going to sound- that would symbolize my love for you more than that," Luke shared, looking a little sheepish as she explained. "The four diamonds that surround the emerald represent our family, one for each of us." There was a small chortle of laughter at Keagan's comment, "I can't say I can find many other things to add to the list, except maybe having introduced me to her siblings..."

KEAGAN

She shifted her weight so that she could sit next to Luke with her legs draped over the other's. "Okay, okay.. I'll stop." She chuckled, leaning up to kiss Luke again - this time on the cheek. "Maybe they'll call you mommy but you also never hear the end of it from Lyra." She was also curious to what the twins would come up with to call Luke. "...OR they just want us to simply guess from context all the time. That sounds like something they might do."

As if her heart just couldn't melt more than it already had. "Oh Luke, I love this so much." How lucky was she to have Luke in her life? She looked down at the ring, sniffling just a little with how touched she was. "God, I don't know what you mean but you're already pretty perfect." She muttered before wrapping both her arms around Luke's neck again so she could hide her face into the taller woman's neck. "Don't tell her that. She'll believe she was the matchmaker."

LUKE

As Keagan shifted her position, Luke automatically adjusted her hold. It wasn't really a conscious thought, so much as just another thing on the list of reasons they worked so well. Even before Luke's Paladin powers allowed her to sense Keagan's emotions, the two of them just _worked_. "I think as long as _you_ don't call me mommy, Lyra may eventually let it go...maybe...actually, no, you're right. They should pick something else." She raised an eyebrow as she listened to the alternative. "Miles might do it on purpose, but I'm sure Sky will just do it because she forgot there's two of us now," she laughed.

In that moment, Luke was just grateful that Keagan didn't have a clear look at her face, because based on how warm it was, Luke could only assume it was as red as her hair. "No such thing as perfect," she said lowly, "But I think we're both lucky enough to have found someone whose perfect _for us_. Two puzzle pieces may not have a single smooth edge, and yet still fit perfectly with one another. I'd like to think that's us." At the mention of Lyra thinking herself a matchmaker, Luke just scoffed. "Bold of you to assume she's not going to immediately claim the title regardless."

KEAGAN

"If it's one thing we've learned over the years of knowing my sister... is that there is very little that can stop her from doing anything she wants." A small sigh before admitting the next statement, "I guess it does run in the family though." Oh, the differences between her daughters just made them ever so endearing. It was fascinating just how different the two of them were - as if all the braincells went to one of them.

"See, this is why you're the song writer and I'm not. Always have a way with words that I can never imagine." She leaned back enough to kiss along the jawline before resting against Luke's shoulder. "We should tell the twins in the morning." One, she didn't want her daughters to learn it from someone else, and two, Sky's going to sulk if she didn't know before everyone else.

LUKE

Luke nodded lazily in agreement, thinking back to not a few hours back when Liv was saying the same thing. She stopped mid-nod though at the following admission, an impish smirk forming on her face as she said, "Well...I know the girls have always known what they wanted and have put in the effort to now have it, are you saying they got that from _you_?" The question was bait, because admitting to that would also be admitting that she shared her own sister's traits, if to a lesser degree.

The paladin appreciated the kiss for the show of affection, but also because it meant that Keagan was too busy to notice how her face was once again flush in embarrassment at the compliment given. "Well, I would say that I'm the song writer because it's always been easier to express the right words, when I know they'll be wrapped up in a blanket of melodies and rhythms. If anything, I think the fact that I can manage the right words in conversation with you, speaks more to the sense incredible sense of security that you've always been able to provide. It's not exactly something I got much of anywhere else before meeting you, and it's one of the many things that I will always be grateful to you for," Luke said in a soft tone before placing a soft kiss to the top of Keagan's head as it rested on her good shoulder.

She laughed lightly and said, "It's not like they're not likely to notice the ring as soon as we go in to change them when they wake up. If at any point we doubted they kept their grown brains, they've made it very clear by now the only thing infantilized about them is their body."

KEAGAN

"I'm sure that they got it from the *both* of us." The Calvettis were not the only ones known to be impulsive - one could argue that Luke was just as impulsive as they are even if they haven't seen it from Rikke yet. "A lot of influence came from Lyra directly because we couldn't stop her from playing with the twins." She was sure that even when Keagan was out of town, nobody allowed Lyra to be alone with the twins. Ever. Lyra was enough being the infamous hurrnado.

She closed her eyes as she relaxed against her *fiancee*. Was sleep finally getting to her? It was very late (or early depending who you ask). "You flatter me." She smiled, "Two puzzle pieces that fit nicely together, as you say. Perhaps it really was meant to be - regardless if the trigger was Lyra or not." In some universe, perhaps Keagan did not interact with her sister's friends. Despite being part of the supernatural world, the wolf was not that superstitious when it came to things such as whether or not the stars aligned.

"Miles would notice.. I bet you that Sky would be too groggy to notice unless Miles tells her.. or until she has her breakfast.. or when one of her girlfriends is nearby. That kid concerns me sometimes."

LUKE

Luke could only laugh, because of course that would be the response. "I'm sure they get different aspects from each of us, that tends to be how the whole nurture and nature thing works." She'd leave at that though, no need to poke the sleeping wolf by going into detail about _what_ traits they got from _which_ parent... "Lucky for us, the twins gotten to a point where they keep their distance from Lyra all on their own...or well, as much as they can. We do all live in the same house now. Which, I would never admit this directly to Lyra's face either, is honestly something I'd never get the joy of and I'm glad the girls have a house full of loved ones to call home."

Luke smiled and said, "I speak only the truth, and call it as I see it. If you consider it flattery, maybe it's because I should say thank you more often." The idea that their meeting was meant to be, would've been something for Luke to laugh at years before, but somehow now seemed like an undeniable truth. "There's been so mean reasons and points in our lives that would have made it very easy for us to never be together, and yet here we are. We managed to make two wonderful little humans as well. I just can't bring myself to think that they weren't meant to exist in some way, so regardless of Lyra, we'd have met. I feel it in my bones."

Luke hummed in response and just said, "You're forgetting that rings are shiny, and likely to catch her attention for that reason alone. I'd be far more concerned for her if she didn't have so many people constantly looking out for her."

KEAGAN

Keagan chuckled, knowing that the kids were already quite a good mix of the two of them as if people hadn't already been pointing them out. "To think that even Nix came to live with us now. We used to only see her every few summers when her family visited. Too bad JJ is still allergic to this pace." Not that she could blame him. This town had as many cons as there were pros. "Not to mention we've got Tomi, Erin and Callie too now." There was never a dull moment in this household.

Everytime she thought about the reason behind why the twins even existed in the first place just brought a smile to her face. What stronger proof of how they felt about one another than the miracle babies? "I don't even want to imagine a world without you or the twins in it. That sounds awfully depressing." She sighed "Can't imagine a world where none of you even existed either.. " She shook her head as she opened her eyes. "But either way.. be prepared to have Lyra bring it up for the next... couple of years. That girl holds these sort of things way longer than one would an actual grudge."

Keagan loved the idea that their family was growing in all sorts of ways. "I'm glad that both twins have the support system they have... and that Sky's girlfriends have the patience that they have because let's be honest.. Sky really took a lot of Lyra's traits whether we want to admit it or not."

LUKE

"I'm not gonna lie, I've been tempted to ask Nix what it was about this last visit that's managed to keep her around, but I get the sense that if I did, her response might just be to pack up and take the first flight out that same day," Luke mused aloud. The witch struck her as someone, who much like Keagan, preferred to keep things to herself...maybe that's why both cousins worked for the same place. "JJ's been wanting to leave this place since Steven...I think everything that happened after was just the extra push he needed to do it and not look back." Luke herself had considered leaving this place after high school but, well, things happened.

"You know, I haven't heard anyone making fun of the cabin-mcmansion recently, so I guess my forethought of having a place for people to stay has been seen for the genius it is." Sighing at the mere thought of the world Keagan described, Luke let out a small groan. "A world where you and the twins don't exist just isn't one of my multi-verses. It's impossible. If you don't exist, the girls don't either, and considering the three of you are the only reason I'm around now? Nope, not even with all the magic in the known _and_ unknown universe could that be created." There was nothing but a tone of resolution to her voice as she spoke, certain that this was an undeniable truth. Like gravity.

"The one that does not like it the most, is Sky herself," Luke pointed out. "But I'm glad that Callie came to stay with us as well. That kid has taken to understanding and adjusting to Miles like very few others have before. I even think I saw Miles smile at her in dormouse form."

KEAGAN

"I... think it'd be a wise choice not to ask. I would like to think it's for everything that happened, and now the twins being babies. But who knows..." She shrugged, not wanting to say aloud that Rikke may have a hand in the decision. "We could say the same about Lyra, but I think she just wants to know everyone's business before leaving - everyone as in the whole town." Keagan understood the need to leave this place too, but at the same time, this was still home to her.. and all her friends she grew up with were still here. It made sense to come back here eventually.

"Those who make fun of it aren't the ones living in it. I'm pretty sure Brax still calls this a mansion. Maybe he's jealous... and lonely? He's literally alone there with Col, who's probably at the hospital more often than not. Keagan didn't want to think about a world that didn't have any of them either - the thought alone was just too depressing to keep on this topic. Her eyes landed on the ring again, which only brought another smile to her face. ".... I can't believe we're engaged." She certainly didn't feel like this during her first engagement.

"Callie. She's a good kid. When do you think Miles will realize that Callie has a crush on her? Thankfully she's nothing like her cousin - To think Aleja and Blake are now in charge of her."

LUKE

"Fair. I know how to mind my own business...some might say too well, but it's worked out so far," Luke replied. Some might say she's oblivious, but if that meant she was involved in as little drama as possible, she'd take it. "A lot could be said about Lyra...but yes, her need to be well-informed seems to be keeping her attention in town, and honestly, I think you're mom is enjoying the nice long break. Can't blame her," she teased.

Luke sighed at the idea of Brax being lonely in his own home. "It's disheartening to think about, but we can't really say he hasn't been the architect of his own situation. If you decide to live your life as if you never plan to be a one-person person, then..." Luke trailed off, figuring her point was made. At Keagan's remark, Luke couldn't help but quip back, "We almost weren't, at least not as of yet."

She thought about the question and immediately said, "When Callie either outright tells her. After everything that happened with Callie's cousin, Miles has reverted quite a bit on the romance front. Though, I'm pretty sure the feelings are mutual. I don't think kid would volunteer to carry Callie around with her in her animal form otherwise."

[yostresswritinggirl]

Fall Into Place

: Cyno x Reader short fic

Or, the scholar everyone thinks is deranged for being able to stand the General Mahamatra, despite being reprimanded by him several times already.

"Someone said they spotted the General Mahamatra on campus!"

"What? Cyno's here?" Your casualness and curious tone had the scholars looking at you with obvious bewilderment. Staring at you like you're an undiscovered Aranara.

"You know, it's still baffling how you're... 'close' to the General after everything that's happened." One of your friends finally spoke up as you started gathering your materials, the thought making you snicker from undisclosed memories.

"He's not that bad if you don't do anything bad." They had a retort ready on the tip of their tongues. "'sides, he's just doing his job, right?"

Not wanting to elaborate and hoping to catch up, you lugged your bag over your shoulder and said quick goodbyes, bounding out of the House of Daena with a new goal in mind.

It's not like their suspicions/bewilderment aren't uncalled for, after all the things you've been through with the Matra, your Vahumana friends are starting to suspect you may have been cuckoo from the stress of researching.

But as they are wrong with reading your character, so are they to him.

Really, he wasn't all that bad.

"What have I done wrong?"

A pause. "Your paper."

A blink. Another. And another. Cyno watched as your head shot up from shamefully looking at your lap to stare at him in disbelief, wide-eyed not in fear but in the incredulous emotion you felt upon hearing his words.

He was about to explain the joke after he had felt himself accomplished on making you less aversive - but a muffled snort had made him speechless this time.

There you were sitting across him in the Matra office, covering your face to hide your snorts and wheezes. Cyno now had disbelief clearly written on his face.

"Sorry, sorry." But you didn't have to be, his expertise in judgment knew your reaction was genuine. "You just caught me off-guard, General."

"I'm glad you're loosening up then." There you see the first rare sight of a smirking Cyno, more proud than condescending as he crosses his arms at his achievement. "I know there's more that you want to say, I suggest you not to hold your peace if you think it will do you good on your judgment."

At the resumption of the topic at hand, the ever attentive General watched as your expression turned to that of annoyance. It wasn't out of anger or resentment whatsoever, specifically not towards him either. He knew there was something else at play here in the way you held back your tongue when you wanted it to run.

And now, perhaps with the lighter mood, you'd be more willing to share the details he isn't privy to.

"I just think that this is unfair." You gesture around the office that only held you two, continuing before he could misinterpret. "Why am I the only one apprehended when it's the committee who agreed to my bribery?"

He closed his mouth. To this you continue.

"Clearly, if they had refused such a simple bribe, the crime wouldn't have been a thing, right?" The review committee shouldn't be accepting bribes in the first place. "In all honesty, I wasn't even serious about it. I didn't think they would accept in the first place since it was clearly a joke."

"What exactly was the bribe?" Cyno sits up straighter upon meeting your deadpanned stare, a lingering pause that made him tense in curiousity.

"That I'd cook them some of Mondstadt's mushroom skewers."

A blink. Another. And another. If not for the exasperation in your voice, he would have thought it was a lie - but somehow that made it even more funnier, and now it was you patting yourself on the back for making the General laugh.

"I think -" he wipes a stray tear as he finally caught his breathe. "I think you have been scammed."

"I think so too." Humming to himself, you watched as he pulled out a set of stamps and ink from under the table. "I'm positive they knew the Matra would be able to catch on with how horrible my research is, so they tried to at least gain something from the endeavor."

"I can see the appeal, Mondstadt's delicacies are quite enjoyable." Stamping the paper with a CASE CLOSED, his red eye caught on to how you perked up at his words. The implications you immediately caught on to. Smart. "You must make some mean skewers, but in research writing..."

Your gaze lifts from looking at the paper to his awaiting look, pausing again for the dramatic effect. "It seems you have mushroom for improvement."

The case was easily swept aside without further need for punishment due to how light it was. The review committee had a stern talking to and you focused on a new work.

Cyno had to praise your resilience to bounce back to the groove of things. But you explained that the loss of the half-cooked research wasn't that bad, after all, you only made that under the pressure of passing one.

You've also reasoned that the horrible quality was mostly due to how you dislike the research topic to begin with (but it was the only manuscript they approved).

When Cyno didn't buy it, you made it your mission to prove him wrong by making your next one a success.

Even if you were practically shoving your passed thesis on his face to goad him, he couldn't help the tiny smile creeping to his lips. Both from your achievement and how you're open with him.

The next time you'd seen the General under work-related conditions was on the highest point of Sumeru.

There were reports of illegal climbing and gliding on the Divine Tree but the culprit had yet to be reprimanded. Somehow he had an inkling of who it could be, and as such, he climbed his way up the branches as quietly as possible.

And as he suspected, your back profile greets him as you focused on adjusting the wind glider on your person, looking out at the far horizon of Sumeru.

"This is highly dangerous territory, you know," his firm hand grasps your forearm as you almost slip from the scare. "Especially at night time."

"Cyno?" At the feeling of your hand on his, the General retracts his hand and stands next to you, also looking at where he assumed you were gazing at. From this distance, there isn't really anything he can pinpoint. "Lemme guess, they sent you up here. That doesn't really make sense."

This isn't Matra work, after all.

"Why are you up here?" It wasn't styled like an interrogation but more out of curiosity.

"Well," just from that start alone, he already deciphered that your words would be a lie. "I wanted to see if I can reach Vanarana from here."

That was such an absurd plan and an absurd lie that even Cyno had to look at you with obvious apprehension on his face, his gaze you were too tired to make eye contact with to solidify your lie.

When was the last time he had seen you this close? Despite the scarce lighting filtering through the leaves above and branches below, he could see the darkness under your eyes. The furrow of your eyebrows too deep for something as leisurely as gliding, the tension in your jaw and shoulders too tight for the calming caress of the Sumeru night winds.

He's heard that you've been working on your research after becoming a Dastur and so he made sure not to disturb you when you looked busy. Which was all the time now.

Perhaps, he thought as he looked forward once more, this gliding sessions were your unorthodox way of destressing.

"Who do you think is the slowest glider in Sumeru?" Snapping out of your daze, you tilt your head to level your gaze with Cyno.

"Who?" It was styled and paused the same way he did when telling a joke so you thought none of it.

But when he flashed a smirk at you, you were taken aback when he jumped of the branch and deployed his own wind glider (which you didn't even see he had equipped), waving at you. "You are."

And then it clicked in your mind. With an offended (but fake) gasp, you did a running jump and followed suit, spreading your arms in hopes to overtake him. "How dare you!" You followed with a laugh upon seeing his determination to race you, a smug grin evident even from a far angle.

That night you learned that it was impossible to reach Vanarana from the Divine Tree.

And the next day, Cyno reported to the Akademiya empty-handed, the culprit unseen. He then went on to scold them for even wasting his time for such a 'useless ordinance' and that there were no rules in the cardinal sin that was violated.

While leniency has been offered to your nightly outings, Cyno started suggesting for safer stress-reducing alternatives. Have you heard of TCG before? Ah, no matter, he'll gladly start from scratch.

"General Mahamatra!"

The two Matras conversing turned to your approaching form, waving your arm excitedly to catch their attention more. While the subordinate didn't look too pleased with the interruption, his annoyance was slightly dispelled at the sight of the General waving back.

"Still maintaining that cover up? I told you -"

"Cyno." You corrected with a weary sigh, him looking rather pleased. "I heard you were here. Ah, sorry if I interrupted something important! I was too excited!"

The Matra would have been more irritated about the disturbance if not for the fact that someone, a researcher, just admitted that they were looking forward to meet the General.

As well as the reprimanding look his superior gave him upon reading his next move.

"Nabil, we can continue the conversation later."

"Y-Yes, General." And that was his cue to leave.

It was easy to fall into step with the General as you two conversed about everything that had happened since you last saw each other. While he had more interesting stories than you, he'd always listen attentively when it comes to your progress, whether it be about your curiousities or your deck-building.

"Is it safe to research about the natural behaviors Rishboland Tigers in their natural habitats?"

"If you are asking about whether it is safe to conduct such experiments without risk of being expelled, then it would be so long as the animals are unharmed. In terms of the dangers however, it would be best to consult Tighnari about such affairs."

"Thank you!"

While it was no easy feat to be this close to the General, at the very least, there are perks to it such as confirming the research topics of your friends for their safety from the Matra.

Even if it seemed so unbelievable to the other scholars, it was always refreshing to see Cyno be preoccupied from staring down the students everytime he was there.

Unbeknownst to them, even with his eyes following you closely, he was still ever so vigilant to notice the little things.

Perhaps the right word should be... merciful.

Just whipped this outta my ass so I can post during my birthday, take it and let me rest

[esther-dot]

Know what I’ve seen lately? General (non-stan, non-ship) fans being shy about admitting they’ve read sensible Jonsa metas. They’ll “warn” their audience before they admit they got info from a Jonsa meta. I think they’re afraid of being attacked for agreeing with anything that could point to Jonsa.

This is what antis’ constant complaining has led to. It’s free advertising when they complain, because not everyone who reads their posts is also an anti.

The first time I heard of Jonsa, I was on Reddit, and in so many words, they said it was the worst possible ship with the worst shippers who were ruining the show, the books, and slandering D@ny with unfounded reasons. I’d never even encountered someone who shipped Jon/Sansa. It was B0atbaby preachers who advertised it to me, in such a “so bad it might be good” kind of way that I couldn’t help but seek it out from morbid curiosity. 🤣

May this be a lesson to us all about the dangers of morbid curiosity! 😂

That’s so funny that all their outrage has introduced people to Jonsa! I stick to Sansa fans and Jonsas because the rest of the fandom kinda horrifies me, so I really didn’t know what goes on beyond our circle. I understand why the average fan would be afraid to admit to reading Jonsa metas. The fandom is incredibly hateful of anything remotely Jonsa affiliated. While I’m sympathetic to that anxiety, I do have issues with the BNFs who apparently have entertained the idea or even think it will happen but never spoke up before. Catering to the hate is how we got to such a toxic place in the fandom and one of them just saying “actually, this meta has merit” could have changed everything. I will never forget this one GoT YouTuber who tweeted that we should be stoned in the streets. That’s how normalized hating on Jonsas was. She didn’t even feel the need to send a nasty anon. She just tweeted it out, knowing the climate of the fandom would permit it.

So it’s amusing but also tiring to know that fans will enjoy content by Jonsas, they might even believe Jonsa theories, but they’re too afraid to offer support to the people who work so hard to put it out there. Because of that, there’s not only targeted harassment but widespread derision of anything now perceived as a Jonsa theory. Even other Sansa fans call us deranged for thinking Sansa will go North and that she will be queen although these are longstanding theories with a lot to justify them—they don’t necessarily have anything to do with shipping!

But this fandom is a truly weird place and will never make sense. No one thinks twice about supporting people who genuinely want Sansa to end up with a grown man (whether it’s the man who married her to take her birthright or the one who wanted to rape her), but heaven forbid you interact with anything written by a Jonsa.

I’m glad you chanced it and have enjoyed the metas written by Jonsas though, anon. So many intelligent and hilarious people in this fandom. 💗

[gralunaisland]

At what point in the series did you come to the conclusion gruvia was unforgivable as a pairing? To me it was the stupid scarf episode that was supposed to show gruvia in a more serious light but all it showed was that when it comes to juvia so called love, grays feelings, history, and trauma is irrelevant bc her “love” will fix him. Not only that but erza basically told him it has been years, move on and apologize to the person that has no respect for your grief. Ugh

Short Analysis of The Horrific "413 Days" Chapter

That's a great question! Thank you for asking!

Honestly, as unsurprising as it may be, I'd say it was unforgivable at the same moment that I first hated the pairing, which, as I said in a recent ask, was Gray's and juvia's first interaction at Phantom Lord.

Because, at that point, I didn't just dislike her. I hated her. I think it was plenty unforgivable for her to misread and misunderstand everything he did at the level of insanity and then to try to kill him and Lucy, 2 people she didn't know whatsoever, based off of feelings she conjured up in her own mind.

I mean, shouldn't that be the biggest of red flags? To legit be a dangerously and clinically crazy person who is literally fine with actual murder based off of her own delusions? I wouldn't and don't forgive her for that or what she's done to Gray and to so many other people.

There is SO much to unpack from even just their first interaction, and all of it equaled unforgivable for me. (And of course, throughout the course of the show, every action she did just piled on top.) I'll go into it a lil bit, and then go onto the rest of what you said.

It's one thing to accidentally misunderstand someone's words, (because I know I do that a lot on Tumblr because reading is hard ok) but it's definitely another for the meaning of his words to go in one ear and have a completely different meaning on its way out the other, which the manga panel shows us explicitly. Gray's words of "I won't hand [Lucy] over even if I die" turns into "love love love love... a rival in love!!!!" and proceeds to say "Lucy cannot be allowed to live"; she's literally ready to kill someone just because she read waaaay too far into the words spoken by a loyal friend and guildmate.

And that's not even the only instance where she misunderstood him in that scene alone. she mistakes his kindness at saving her life as love, then him saying they could fight more got turned into sex somehow. Those are all just off the top of my head; I really don't want to go rewatch that scene tbh.

In a real scenario, if that happened to you, where a person was doing mental gymnastics just to reinterpret your words to mean something you weren't thinking at all, wouldn't most people be freaked and not want to be in a relationship with them? Wouldn't you want the person you're dating to actually listen to you and hear the words you're saying and understand what you mean? The absolutely negative communication going on in gr///via makes it horrifically toxic, and we knew this since their first meeting.

Sorry not sorry, she's legit insane, and she shouldn't be allowed to walk around freely harassing anyone she chooses. It's also unforgivable for Mashima to force Gray, a traumatized person with a history of hardships and tragic loss with women in his life, into a relationship with an actually dangerously-deranged, mentally-ill, toxic af individual who isn't ever stopped from doing whatever she wants.

(That is not to say mentally ill people can't or shouldn't find love of course. It's the way juvia is, where she leaves no room in her mind for anyone but juvia and juvia's wants, that makes her the type of person who's too crazy to find actual love, because yes, some people just shouldn't be in relationships until they do self-reflection and better themselves.)

I completely agree with you though, Anon, that the 413 Days episode was one of THE lowest moments juvia has, and believe me when I say, though I'm sure you already know, that literally almost every one of juvia's moments are low. (And I also agree about Erza. She was being an actual b*tch this episode and was literally goading juvia on. As if juvia needs help being the disgusting, toxic person she is! Erza is literally pushing a neurotic psychopath onto Gray, and I hate her in these moments for it. Definitely takes my respect and liking of her down so many pegs.)

juvia showed she really didn't actually care about Gray's feelings and trauma in that episode.

"B-but she apologized for being insensitive! And she cried when she thought about how she might've hurt Gray!", a Pro might protest.

I have easy answers for those points.

A, she said sorry, yes, but then immediately went back to being her creepy, crazy, insensitive self by trying to give him a nigh naked body pillow of her as "an apology", with a face that's completely unapologetic and uncaring. If she was really sorry for being insensitive, then she wouldn't be insensitive by pretending like all is well and going back to her bothering of Gray.

If she actually did any sort of actual reflecting on her actions or soul searching due to remorse over bothering Gray, then she would know that he's completely uncomfortable and creeped out by this, and that giving him a lewd, completely inappropriate body pillow (not that you can't do it for your significant other, y'all; it's just inappropriate because Gray clearly doesn't want it, and therefore this is gross, stalkerish behavior) would be a terribly rude idea for a gift.

And if she were truly genuine, then she should know that she should feel guilty all the time when she's being her usual creepy self, and not just guilty because she was being her usual creepy self on a sad day. Doesn't that just show us that she's at least a little self-aware? That she's not being thoughtful by acting the way she does? If she actually thought she was always being a kind, caring, loving person by doing her usual juvia antics to Gray, then why would she feel bad about it just because it's a sad day for Gray? If she were truly never bothering him and was being just kind, then that wouldn't bother Gray despite it being Ur's death day. she does say "it was such an unpleasant day and yet... juvia was treating it like a joyous anniversary", so maybe in her muddled brain she thought Gray was only upset because she was celebrating their love on the day of Ur's passing, but I feel like there is more to unpack from this. If she thought he truly loved her, I feel like she wouldn't feel bad for wanting to celebrate that day and would find him rude for putting something else above her in importance. Idk. Y'all tell me what you think, I just thought of it rn, and I'm processing it.

Even the little author's note isn't taking anything seriously, and it seems to be just as in denial as juvia and some of her fans are. "They cry, they laugh! Even today, juvia's got nothing but Gray on her mind!" Literally no one is laughing at her. Even Erza, the die-hard gr///via fan apparently, is sweat-dropping uncomfortably in the corner. Plus, juvia has Gray on her mind, but she really doesn't have Gray on her mind. I've said it a million times, but juvia is only thinking about her love for Gray, not for Gray and what's good for him.

Also! Notice how Gray's sweat-dropping and not the slightest bit blushing or in love with this woman. This is juvia's true nature, y'all, and he clearly hates it. It's only in her quieter moments that Gray thinks he loves her, but is clearly gaslit and manipulated so much so he assumes her very, very rare serious moments portray her true self no matter what she's doing in 100yq apparently.

I'm sorry, you can't be selfish and manic and obsessive and creepy and gross and rude and self-serving 99% of the time and be forgiven for that elusive 1% when you're not being those things. Not if you're an individual with healthy relationships with women and are able to see the toxicity that juvia perpetuates, which, by the way, Gray is not thanks to his trauma.

I even checked the episode version of 413 Days (oh the things I do for this blog; even just skipping through it is absolute horrific), and it's even worse than the manga version. (People might protest that the anime isn't completely canon, but they cannot tell me every single gr///via stan has only read the manga.)

In the anime, she says the body pillow is "also in commemoration of our 414th day anniversary, so you know, it would be pretty rude not to take it!", showing she's learned nothing, TO WHICH GRAY LEGIT REPLIES "Seriously, that thing is creepy, take it back!!", to which juvia stupidly replies "Then what kind of present do you want me to give you?" while continuing to shove it in his face, as if she can't comprehend that he doesn't want it, and yet her words show otherwise.

Then of course Erza says some stupid-*ss thing like "Never a calm moment, never a dull one either though. Thing's are just the way I like them" as if she can't see Gray being bullied and harassed in front of her face. Eugh, Erza is a disappointment when it comes to gr///via as usual. Then guess what juvia says? "That's right! If you get bored, then you just need to try harder! Hehehe!"

Oh goodness. How are there so many people who find that ok?? That's a "cutesy" way of saying, "Screw consent! Even if i'm just bored and have nothing to do, i'll just amuse myself by harassing someone!" Ew. Just absolutely ew.

Anyway, she's actually guilt-tripping and gaslighting Gray into taking the body pillow despite knowing the difficulties he went through just the day before with him rejecting her gift and all. It was a completely unnecessary and cruel callback to that yesterday, actually. Just shows more of her manipulative side.

B, (yes, there's a B, I took so long y'all might've forgotten there was an A haha), yes, she cried, but she seemed more preoccupied with figuring out how to repair their relationship, how to not lose Gray's nonexistent affection, instead of sympathizing with his grief and feeling for him. "i really... had no idea... what should juvia do?" she's still thinking about herself. Even when Erza says "I don't think Gray was bothered too much by your gesture", and juvia replies "jUVIA IS BOTHERED BY IT! ON SUCH AN IMPORTANT DAY TO GRAY-SAMA, jUVIA.."

Clearly, it's still all about juvia. she's focusing solely on how bad she feels, and she's wallowing in self-pity and self-loathing by denying Erza's part in setting juiva up to bother Gray on that day seen when Erza says "I'm sorry for putting you upt to it", and juvia says "No... this is juvia's fault". That's not being gracious, that's wanting everything to be about herself. At that point, it's straight up denial (which, let's face it, isn't anything new with juvia lockser) to pretend like the red-head didn't tell juvia her plan to spend the day in bliss "wasn't good enough" and was the one who gave her the plan to give Gray a gift in the first place.

You can't tell me this lady doesn't like to focus on herself. This was just one example, and another terrible one was the infamous Silver's-grave-scene where she again disregards Gray's grief by focusing on her own guilt. Seems like it's a recurring theme, now, doesn't it??

Anyway, back to what you said, Anon, the fact that Erza was telling juvia that Gray should basically just suck it up, and that it was his fault for continuing to mourn Ur's death, shown when she says "how important each and every day is... depends on how important you feel it is to you", is just absolutely despicable. I'm tired with Mashima writing Erza this way. I feel like the real one wouldn't defend juvia over Gray, especially when juvia's wholeheartedly in the wrong. Nonetheless, it makes me hate Erza in these moments.

All in all, thank you for your ask and your thought-provoking points! Thank you for waiting for my reply!

[itsclydebitches]

Kinda feel that the Commentary trying to sweep Harriet trying to bomb Mantle under the rug is probably one of the noticeably worse parts of the Commentary.

Like, you have to be pretty damn deranged to bomb an entire city of civilians (unless it’s Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but that’s a whole ‘nother topic). That’s not something you can brush aside with the ‘trauma’ card, it’s genuinely psychotic, and a complete loss of heart and mind. Doubly so when you have literally no reason to do it besides, “Boss said so.” I mean, Ironwood being serious in his bomb threat is what got Winter and Marrow to turn on him.

Harriet getting a “she’s not bad, just twaumatized ~uwu~” use feels really annoying. Probably because I am utterly sick of Fandom Metas constantly talking about Trauma characters may or-may-not have.

What really stands out to me—both in terms of what RT wrote/has said as well as the fandom's response to both—is that Harriet is, in that moment, exactly the kind of person they want the rest of the cast to be:

Clover tries to peacefully arrest Qrow because he trusts Ironwood, has no other information to go on, fully expects to find out this was all a big misunderstanding, but also knows he’s fighting a war where many presumed allies are revealed to be Salem agents, all of this during a time when he just heard Salem is on her way: “He’s just a bootlicker mindlessly following orders.”

The Ace Ops are part of a long scene where they catalogue precisely how bad a state they’re in which includes having just fought a major battle they’re exhausted from, they’ve lost their first line of defense at the Kingdom’s border, the heat is out, Salem is minutes away, and they don’t believe they have time to evacuate anyone else. This leads to them agreeing with Ironwood that they should save who they can along with trying to keep the Relics and a Maiden safe: “They’re just a bunch of bootlickers mindlessly following orders.” (A perspective that's very reinforced by Yang’s line to Blake while fighting Elm and Vine.)

Ren begins to trust and believe in a leader that everyone else on his team is also assisting and fighting alongside, he’s struggling with an intense fear of what’s to come, he wants to try and prepare for these challenges but the others brush that desire off, admits that he’s struggling to explain everything he’s feeling right now which results in Nora forcing a kiss on him to ‘fix’ things, finally shares his numerous problems with their recent choices and his teammates respond by yelling at him, ignoring him, and telling him he’s a bad partner/friend, and if we take the comics as canon all of this is colored by him seeing some of his dead father in Ironwood: “Can’t believe Ren spent so long being a bootlicker mindlessly following orders. Thank god he finally got with the program.”

Meanwhile:

Harriet ACTUALLY mindlessly follows orders. She ACTUALLY has no logical, understandable, or justifiable reason to drop a bomb on Mantle after everything else Ironwood has done and after Penny has clearly escaped, rendering the threat itself useless. Harriet is, for the first time in the Atlas arc, 100% trying to follow orders without any critical thought of her own, without even a minuscule understandable reason, making her the exact thing the writing of RWBY and the fandom has called everyone else associated with Ironwood for two volumes: “Poor Harriet. She’s so traumatized. It’s not good, obviously, but still totally understandable why she’d try to go that far. She just needed Vine and Elm to remind her of the Power of Friendship so she can instantly get over the trauma of losing Clover, the man we never saw her having any romantic interest in.”

Honestly, I’m just endlessly scratching my head over when morals do and do not apply in this show. Clover was murdered days before the bomb threat was even a thought in Ironwood’s head, but we’re meant to believe he absolutely would have gone through with it. Meanwhile, Harriet is actually alive, actually there, actually doing everything in her power to drop the bomb, but we’re meant to believe she’s just struggling with some generic “trauma” and needs a “We care about you” to remind her that taking out an entire city is a bad thing. She gets instant forgiveness that the dead guy who didn't try to do this thing, didn't even know this thing was an option, isn't allowed. How does that make any sense?

[fireflyinsummer]

An Amalgamation Waltz 1839. |01|

> pairing: min yoongi x reader

> genre: FallenAngel!AU

> words: 23k

> warnings: hints of smut (heavy make out), a scene of harassment (nothing explicit), violence. possible heresy. forgive me. a third party’s unrequited feelings for OC. don’t know if i did this right, it’s 3 am right now.

> summary: When it comes to the both of you, a lifetime is not enough. And when it comes to you, there’s really no lines he wouldn’t be willing to cross. Even on the brink of a war that could destroy the world as we know it, you’re everything.

  “ (...) ‘Would you be able to love someone as tainted as him?’ he asked wistfully.

  You lifted your upper body, compelling him to a sitting position as well.

   ‘I’ve never had to,’ you pecked his lips chastely, even though he still kept his eyes trained on the grass underneath you.”

a/n: my love for Paradise Lost gave birth to this. i really like this one :) gonna be posting the second (and last) part soon! no need to say that PL was just an inspiration, this isn’t exactly based on the poem. 

                                               “(…) Here at least

We shall be free, the almighty hath not built

Here for his envy, will not drive us hence:

Here we may reign secure, and in my choice

To reign is worth ambition though in hell:

Better to reign in hell, than serve in heaven.”

     The sudden thud on the wooden surface of the table made you jolt and close the book, heart rate increasing considerably.

  “Y/N.” His voice was deep, dragging your name through his teeth to evince his annoyance. The bustling café was already at its peak hours and you didn’t even notice the time as it passed you by.

  “Yes, Taehyung?” You ogled your grumpy friend, his noisy arrival being due to the study material he tossed in front of you.

  “You said you’d help me with English lit. I was waiting for you at the library for about an hour and your phone is off.” As you remembered why you were even in the café in the first place, you threw him a guilty look. He pouted. “Hey, what does that Milton guy have that I don’t? And the fancy words don’t count.” You giggled.

  “John Milton has nothing on you, Tae. He’d probably need my help to get through this semester as well.” The joke seemed to almost let you in his good graces again, but you knew he still needed the bribery. “I’ll buy you your favorite if you forgive me.” You could tell he was fighting back a smile upon hearing your offer, his mood suddenly uplifted.

  “Okay. But don’t think I’ll let you off the hook that easily.”

  “I wouldn’t dare. Wait here.” You went to the balcony to pay the check and get his frappuccino to go. Taehyung was a sweet guy who liked sweet things, and that also applied to his coffee. His sweet tooth earned him a nickname from you – Marzipan. Waiting for the bartender to finish your order, you looked over where your best friend was digging through your copy of Paradise Lost without much enthusiasm.

   You had moved in next door to his house about fifteen years ago, and you two instantly initiated a solid friendship. As much as you could say about three-year-olds. Despite him being one of your favorite people in the whole world, the both of you were into totally different things. He went to parties, you enjoyed some lone quality time. He played all sorts of sports, you preferred to stick to your writing and, sometimes, the piano. You were still working on the latter. But even though you seemed to be totally opposites, he still got you like no one else could. He was the person you told all your secrets to, not that you had that many anyway, and you liked to think – no, you were sure of it – he felt the same way about you.

  “Here’s your overly-sweet drink, Marzipan. I don’t even know if you can still call it coffee,” you scowled.

  “Don’t diss my frappuccino, it’s the sole reason of my forgiveness.”

  “Yeah, right. So, you wanna get going? I’m sure you have a lot of thoughts on that book already.”

  “It was very average so far, if I do say so myself. I don’t know why you like it so much,” he teased you.

  “Well, that’s what the private lessons are for. So I can teach you good taste.” You pushed the door open and immediately shivered as you felt a cold gush of air. It was snowing.

  “Here, take my coat. Why don’t you ever wear decent clothes in the winter? I swear to God, I don’t know how you never caught something serious, like pneumonia or whatever,” he scolded.

  “You don’t have to. We’re near home anyway,” you tried to reassure him, but he was, as usual, outwardly ignoring it. “Really, Tae, it’s no big deal. Let’s go.” He was ready to fight you on this one, but you were already walking away. He took a few hurried steps to catch up.

  After a ten-minute walk, daylight was almost completely gone, lit lampposts following its wake. You both hit the front door rug with your feet several times before getting inside, your mom was a bit freaky when it came to cleaning.

  “Mom, Tae’s here!” You shouted from the living room, guessing she was in the kitchen. “We’re going upstairs for a bit! School work!”

  “Okay, honey! Tell him that dinner will be ready soon!” She responded.

  “I love you, Ms. D’Angelis!” He shot back. Yes, you had an italian background. When she heard his voice, she made sure to come out and greet him.

  “Love you, too, honey”, she pecked his forehead and he beamed. They liked each other way too much for their own good. “And you,” she pointed in your direction, “give mamma a kiss.”

  You sighed before attending to her request. It was in your best interest not to fight it. “Okay, enough of this. We’ll be upstairs if you need us.”

  “Have fun, kids.” You sure would. Taehyung might beg to differ.

  The rest of the night was somewhat peaceful. You had helped Taehyung as much as you could before your mother called you out to eat, claiming that you shouldn’t starve the boy and then make him eat a cold meal. He couldn’t agree fast enough. For the most part, that was your life. Uncomplicated and comfortable, which was plenty for an eighteen year old. When you went to bed after practicing the piano for a little while, you were completely unaware of the pair of pitch black eyes that observed you through the window. But he was fully aware of you.

  ||\\

                                                                    [Fear of the Water, by SYML]

  You knew it was a dream. From the moment your brain processed the heavenly sight that unrevealed before your eyes, you knew. It was breaking dawn, the soft orange light kissing the ocean like a long lost lover. You were at the end of a cliff, but couldn’t find it in yourself to be afraid. You looked down at the waves that broke into the rocks almost violently, the salty breeze somewhat comforting. You loved the sea.

  Taking a few deep breaths, you barely noticed the crack. The sound came from somewhere behind you, but you didn’t want to look away from the view, neither did you want to wake up. When you heard it again, you recognized footsteps. You turned around lazily, curious as to whom it would be the visitor of your reverie. When you fixed your eyes on him, though, you stopped breathing for a moment and your heart surely skipped a beat. He was a stranger in a number of ways, for he was seemed truly unworldly. Maybe ethereal was the word you were looking for. His violet eyes were scrutinizing you from head to toe. Beautiful. His hair was dark as it fell like a silky curtain on his forehead. Not a single flaw on his skin or his body, but none of that was as breathtaking as what lied on his back. Great, large white wings, so beautifully outstretched that you felt unworthy of looking at them.

  You opened your mouth a few times, but nothing would come out. Probably for the best, you didn’t want to make a fool of yourself in front of what was probably your mind’s greatest creation. How you could come up with him was beyond you. You wanted to ask his name before it all ended and you had to go back to real life, back to average. You wanted to touch his face, his wings, see for yourself if they felt as they looked. You wished you never woke up. As he took a step closer, you took your own back, startled at the sudden movement. Before you realized your mistake, it was too late. You had lost your balance. You knew it would be over soon. Taking one last look at the stranger, you saw as he stretched one arm to reach you, but to no avail. Too soon, the wind was ricocheting your skin and you were falling.

  You woke up with a loud gasp as you searched for air, finding it oddly rarefied. When you registered the annoyingly high pitch of your alarm, you whined. Real life was the last thing you wanted to face right now, but if you told your mother that you’d stay in bed daydreaming about a figment of your imagination, she would personally retrieve you from the bed and toss you into the shower. Made sense.

  Getting ready as quickly as you could manage, you felt excited for no obvious reason. Maybe it was the afterglow of the dream, but now you were eager to get out of the house, as if you wanted to find him. Which was insane, because you knew he did not exist. Come to think about him now, it was getting harder by the minute to remember his face. You panicked.

  Running towards your desk and grabbing a pencil and your notebook, you tried to recreate him on paper, which was a lost battle from the start. Even if you were some doodling genius – you were definitely not – you would never be able to do him justice. You doubted anyone who had ever stepped on this planet, past or present, ever would. It was not the kind of beauty that could be explained or demonstrated, but rather felt. He wasn’t just inhumanely pretty, wings and all. There was something about him that you couldn’t quite pinpoint. It may sound cheesy and totally deranged, but you felt whole in those few shared moments, like you knew him your entire life. Your mind didn’t recognize him, but your body did.

  Groaning at the piece of paper and throwing the pencil at your baby-blue wall in annoyance, you gave up. It was pointless, his features were already escaping your mind. You didn’t know why you were so hung up on a dream, honestly. Seeing that you were a little riled up, you decided to let it go and just finish getting ready for class. You could see through the window that Taehyung was already waiting for you.  

    ||\\

 “So, how did it go?”

  He pouted before answering. “It went alright.” Lies, he was a big fat liar.

  “C’mon, Marzipan, be honest with me for a second.”

  The nickname finally broke him down. “Fine, I hated it. I remember you telling me about every important detail of the subject yesterday, but I couldn’t put it on paper. Plus, why the fuck does he have to elaborate the questions so much? Most of the time I didn’t even understand what was being asked. Literature sucks,” he whined indignantly. You could tell it was taking a toll on him.

  “Don’t worry too much about it, okay? I will help you. We’ll both graduate this year, yeah?” you reached his hand on a reassuring squeeze.

  “If you say so.”

  “I do.”

  “Then sure. But you have to take me seriously, Y/N,” he warned you. “No more losing track of time in coffee shops.”

  “Hey, I bought you a frappuccino, that incident should be six feet under by now,” you accused and he mumbled a grumpy response.

  The both of you spent half of the morning taking the lit test. You thought you did fine, though the questions really were a little bit tricky. Walking side by side with Taehyung, you didn’t notice him at first. But once you realized there were no seats available right next to each other, your eyes eventually landed on his.

  “We can’t sit together through this class, we’re too late,” Tae grumbled, trying to get your attention back to himself, but to no avail. “Y/N? Hey!” He flicked your forehead and you yelped.

  “Did you just… flick me?” you seethed.

  “I wouldn’t have had to if you weren’t lusting over the new guy. Who is he, by the way?” If you acknowledged the hint of jealously in his tone, you didn’t show it.

  “I was not lusting over anybody,” you huffed.

  “If you say so.”

  “Stop saying that.”

  “Grumpy. Is it because I caught you?” You just snarled and took a seat at the front row, while he chuckled and chose the one in the back.

  To be honest, you were lusting a little. Those eyes seemed oddly familiar, though you couldn’t quite put a finger on why. The rest of the day passed by smoothly; you were able to sit with Taehyung for the remaining classes you had together and even helped him a bit with some homework. After a while, your new classmate was nowhere near your mind, despite that funny feeling you got every time you looked at him. Maybe it was because he was stunningly handsome. Who knows? You never cared much about those things, but you were only human.

  On your way home with Taehyung, you felt eyes burning on your back. You turned around and found him staring, expression unfathomable. He wore a black lather jacket, jeans and a black shirt, his dark hair beautifully disheveled. He gave you a wanton grin and you scoffed. Well, you knew his type, and it unnerved you to death.

  Preppy playboy. Nothing more, nothing less.

  He cut off the eye contact abruptly, heading towards a grey motorcycle. No shit, huh? You almost laughed at the predictability. You weren’t exactly into bikes, but that looked expensive. And it suited him perfectly.

  “Holy-… do you see that? That’s a Triumph fucking Rocket,” Taehyung gasped, shaking your elbow lightly. “A 2500cc engine capacity Triumph Rocket. Man, his parents must be loaded. That’s not a high schooler’s bike,” he said, almost dreamy. Yeah, you saw that coming from a mile away.

  “You talking about the new guy?” You asked nonchalantly, turning your head as you resumed walking.  

  “Don’t even try to pretend you weren’t ogling just now,” he accused.

  “You’re obsessed with our new-found bad boy. Maybe you should date him, Tae,” a snicker left your lips at his appalled expression.

  “Shut up,” he pushed your shoulder. “I’m just curious.”

  “As in bi-curious?”

  “Okay, that’s it, I’m leaving you behind,” he grumbled as he fastened his pace. You chuckled, trying to catch up with his long legs.

  When you arrived home, you noticed an attempt of a drawing on top of your bed. It looked like a poorly doodled angel. First things first: though it definitely looked like something made by your hands, you didn’t have any recollection of it, let alone of leaving it on display like that. You looked around, searching for something, but nothing else seemed out of place. Trying to shrug the uneasiness off, you picked some clothes off the wardrobe and went for a warm bath.

    ||\\

  It was a Saturday afternoon, so you planned to do the usual: hit the library and grab some coffee on your way home. Taehyung had promised to watch a movie with you this weekend, but a surprise party to one of his friends came up. He’d invited you to tag along, more out of habit than anything else. Your answer was always the same when he asked you to spend time with his peers; you weren’t even remotely fond of them. They had maybe one functioning braincell and a whole lot of conceit. Not your crowd at all.

  “Mom, I’m leaving. Do you need me to get you anything?” You said, already on your way to the front door.

  She was sprawled on the couch, gazing attentively at the TV.  “No, honey, thank you. Are you going out with Tae?”

  “Nope, something came up, we rescheduled. I won’t be long.”

  “Okay, then. Be careful!”

  “Will do!”, you shouted from the outside.

  It was closing time when the sweet old lady had to gently kick you out. You weren’t surprised when you found out your phone was dead; you probably had a billion calls from your mother and, if she was desperate enough, maybe even Taehyung. Letting out a sigh, you grabbed your stuff quickly and waved goodbye to the librarian as you made your way out the door, grumbling to yourself about not being able to pick up some coffee now.

  The air was hazy and cold, you couldn’t see more than ten feet ahead, and the streets were oddly empty. You tightened your coat around your body and quickened your pace, not willing to spend more time outside than you needed to. Seeing that all the stores were closed, you realized that Martha (the librarian) probably let you outstay your welcome a little bit. You cursed at the freezing night and your cheap coat. Taehyung was right, you should buy warmer clothes.

  Lost in thoughts, you were stupid enough to miss the drunken noises coming from the end of the street. There was a group of three men coming your way and they all seemed to have ingested an unhealthy amount of booze, laughing loudly and pushing each other playfully. You felt cold sweat fall down your spine but just tried to ignore it, hoping that you’d be able to pass them by without being noticed.

  “Y/N?” His voice was dragged, and he was tumbling around the words. It was only then you realized they were from your school, the boy in the middle being Jimmy, Taehyung’s drink buddy.

  “Hi”, you tried to stay as far away as possible, but the one with the fashionably boring rectangular glasses didn’t let you, hooking his arm around your neck. He reeked of cigarettes and whiskey.

  “C’monnn-“ he hiccupped, “don’t you wanna par-tay with-“ another one, “-us?”

  You repressed the urge to gag as your pulse quickened.

  “Not really. I have to go,” you almost managed to untangle his disgusting arm from you, but he kept it in place, holding you tighter. “Let go of me.”

  You were annoyed. And scared to death, to be honest. These boys didn’t exactly live by a moral code, and the four of you were alone in the middle of nowhere. You didn’t trust them.

  “Aww, don’t be shy, princess. You’re always so… boring. Makes me curious about what you’ve got going on under all… that.” The last one, Ian, made his way towards you, snickering menacingly. He wasn’t as drunk as the other two, and if you could give a hunch, you’d say he knew exactly was he was doing. That scared you even more. Feeling the brick-wall hit your back, you realized you were cornered, a curse escaping your dry lips.

  “Look, I really have to g-“ he cut you off by pressing his body into yours, making you lose your breath for all the wrong reasons. “What the fuck, man?! Let go of me!” You were visibly growing desperate as you tried to punch his face and his chest, but that only earned you a chuckle from him as he held both your wrists with one hand.

  “Feisty. I like it.” You almost puked right then and there, the bile stuck in your throat making you scowl. He let his filthy fingers slide down your sides, until he could grope your ass.

  Your stomach sank, heart drumming against your ribcage as you held back a whimper.

Okay, think.

  Taehyung had taught you the basics about self defense a thousand moons ago. And yet, you realize that it was nothing like the real thing. You balled your clammy fingers tightly, knuckles white as you scanned every corner of your brain to try and find a way out.

  “Tae will kill you if you touch me,” your voice trembled. You couldn’t help it.

  He laughed whole-heartedly. As if the mere thought was actually funny to him.

  “He wouldn’t dare, sweetheart. Besides, I think he actually wouldn’t mind sharing his bitch with us for the night,” he stated. “He’s not using it anyways,” he punctuated with a roll of his hips and, this time, as you felt the pathetic bulge inside his pants, you couldn’t hold back a tiny sob. Because fuck, this was it. There was no way you could take down three grown men on your own.

  “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” The voice was low and steady. It made your skin crawl. You snapped your head and looked at the dark haired man standing behind the boys. Ian lazily turned around, still keeping your wrists wrapped tight in his hand.

  “None of your business, newbie. Now get out of my sight before I lose my patience.”

  When he chuckled, it was different from Ian’s. It was darker, rougher, and concealed a vicious ferocity that you knew was there. You knew because, as he disregarded your aggressor and looked you in the eyes, you almost feared for them.

  “Ian, dude, let it go.” Jimmy instantly sobered up and tried to avoid any confrontation. To think he spent time with your best friend but would let Ian harass you without saying a word was disgusting. “Come on, your old man will kill you if you get in trouble again.” So that was his main concern. Still looking out for his shitty, abusive friend. Men’s sorority really is misogyny.

  “You should listen to your friend. Believe me, you won’t survive me when I get my hands on you,” he stated matter-of-factly. You felt the sincerity in your bones. And so did Ian and his stupid cavalry. “Leave.”

  Ian sighed, but relented. You felt a hot wave of relief as he disconnected his body from yours, leaning on the wall for balance as your legs wabbled.

  “You better watch out,” he spits.

  “Y/N, I... I’m really sorry,” Jimmy said as he scooped his friends and dragged them away from you. “You too, Min. He’s just drunk. We would’ve stopped him if it got too far.”

  He’s lying. You can tell.

  “Get the fuck out of my sight,” he growls, his composure faltering for a minute. As they stray out of view, he turns his gaze to you.

  “Care to tell me what the hell are you doing walking alone in the middle of the night?”

  He’s angry.

  You scoffed, adjusting your coat around your shoulders and straightening your back.

  “Thank you for the help, but I’m too old for a babysitter,” you say. “Besides, I don’t even know you.”

  He looks at you and, as if trying to regain some sense and control a fit of rage, he closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose before exhaling a long puff of air.

  “Alright. My name is Yoongi,” he takes you by surprise as he snatches your wrist in an iron grip, “And I'm fucking walking you home.”

  As he drags you across the street, you want to yell at him. You want to tell him to fuck off, you preppy bastard. But you don’t.

  Because the truth is, you’re so fucking grateful. God knows what would’ve happened if it wasn’t for him. As he calms down, he drops your hand and slows his pace, allowing you to catch up without having to make an effort. You want to talk, but you choose to stay quiet.

   Now that you weren’t so skittish anymore, it finally dawned you how the snow was beautifully spread throughout the streets, the trees, the buildings. Everything that was cool, cold, blue, held some fascination to you. Summer was never really your season – it had always been winter. To be able to curl up on your couch with a warm blanket and a hot cup of coffee, it was heavenly. You always thought that, if you could see the world through a color palette, it would be in different shades of blue.

  The snow was not the only thing that you were entranced by, though. Yoongi was, from what you saw so far, much like winter to you. Harsh when needed, cool, but also peaceful and comforting. He didn’t urge you to talk about the incident; he didn’t urge you to talk at all. His mannerisms caught your attention from time to time – how he constantly ran his long fingers through his hair, how his eyes seemed to flutter shut lazily a few times in a row, or how he carried himself so elegantly that it almost made you jealous. He looked terribly familiar, too.

  “Why are you staring?” His bluntness caught you off guard, but still couldn’t disturb the peacefulness of the moment.

  “Just curious.” It was true. “Apart from the motorcycle and the superhero complex, I don’t know much about you.”

  “Well, there’s not much to know.”

  You hummed in response. “What are you doing here, then?” You ask, and his feet come to a halt.    

  “What is this, an interrogation?”

  You scoff, and you both start walking again. “Just trying to make conversation. Besides, I’m actually curious,” you ponder. “People don’t move into this town very often,” you kick the snow under your feet. He sighs.

  “I’m here with my… brother,” he hesitated before continuing, “he’s my guardian, sort of. We used to move a lot. Work thing.” He couldn’t hold back a grimace, but it disappeared in a second. You wanted to ask about his parents, but felt like you’d be crossing a line, so you kept your curiosity to yourself. “Now you tell me,” he said.

  “Tell you what?”

  “About yourself. Your family. Whatever you want to.”

  “Um, let me see. I live with my mom. We moved from Italy when I was about three years old. My dad… my dad stayed.” You didn’t want to get into it, and he immediately noticed, just nodding for you to continue. “She’s been taking care of me by herself since then.”

  He hummed in understanding, sparing you a few glances that you couldn’t quite decipher.

  Before you knew, your house was already in sight. You wished you lived farther, just so you could keep that strange interaction on for a little longer.

  “Well, this is me,” you announced. Lying about your address had crossed your mind somewhere along the way.

  “Sorry if I was a jerk,” he surprised you by saying. You mouth opens and closes a few times before you say anything.

  “It’s okay, I guess. I was pretty riled up, too.”

  He nodded. “See you Monday, then?” His voice was deep and silky.

  “Yeah. Hey, I… I’m glad you showed up when you did.”

  “I am, too,” there was a dark undertone in his voice. “Good night, Y/N,” he surprised you by leading his right hand to the top of your head and lightly messing your hair before walking away. You stood still for a minute, until your mother opened the door.

  “Y/N?! Darling, why did you take so long? I was so worried!”

  “Um… Sorry, mom. I ran into a friend and my phone was off.”

  “Well, you should’ve at least borrowed your friend’s phone to let me know, things aren’t like they used to be around these parts anymore, it’s getting pretty danger-“

   She kept talking as she let you in, but you couldn’t concentrate. That night, you dreamt of him.

   ||\\                            

 “(…) Farewell happy fields

Where joy for ever dwells: hail horrors, hail

Infernal world, and thou profoundest hell

Receive thy new possessor: one who brings

A mind not to be changed by place or time.

The mind is its own place, and in itself

Can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.”

     You didn’t think of yourself as an early riser, but when Monday morning came, you woke up before the alarm – and seemed almost delighted to do so. To be honest, you really tried to ignore the eagerness to see him again, but to no avail. The day before was thoroughly torturous, flashes of the short period of time you spent together coming back to haunt you now and then. At some point, you were so annoyed that you just lied on the bed and attempted to blast your eardrums off by listening to some crappy rock band at full volume. It didn’t work, obviously, and now you probably had hearing damage. The cons and cons of obsession.

  At this exact moment, for the first time in your entire friendship, you were banging on Taehyung’s door first. Because you just couldn’t wait a minute longer.

  “Damn it, woman, was is it with you today?” The sound of his voice was muffled. That, or you were going deaf, there was no way to tell for sure.

  “You’re going to make us late, Marzipan!” At that, he opened his bedroom door slightly, just enough so you could peek at his disheveled hair and sleepy face.

  “It’s dick o’clock in the morning, we have at least forty minutes until we leave,” his voice was rugged and he had an aggrieved look plastered on his pouty face.

  “I brought you coffee,” you smiled at him while raising the thermal cup.

  “Stop the madness and go wait for me downstairs, Gilmore girl,” he grunted. “Dad probably misses you, the poor old man. Keep him company, will ya?”

  “Don’t be silly, Mrs. Kim need his sleep in the morning.”

  “Then shut up and don’t wake him,” he grunted, closing the door shut, but it took him just a second to reopen it. “Wait, if dad’s asleep, how did you get in?”

  “I, uh… Might or might not know that you keep a spare key inside the porcelain elf’s hat,” your lips tugged upwards sheepishly.

  “Of course you do, you little imp. I’ll be down in a sec,” he grumbled and shut the door again.

  Taehyung had asked you a couple of times why you were so anxious to get to school that morning, but you just brushed it off with an excuse that you knew he wouldn’t buy. There were several reasons as to why you wanted to keep things to yourself for now. Mainly, it was because you were afraid that he’d be furious enough to break Ian’s face in front of everybody once you told him the whole story. Not that you felt any sympathy, but rather that you didn’t want Tae to get in trouble. You’d tell him as soon as you could, though. You didn’t care for the idea of him being friends – or whatever they were – with Jimmy.

  As soon as you stepped into school ground, you discreetly searched for his motorcycle in the parking lot. It wasn’t there. You tried not to let the disappointment show on your face, but you couldn’t help it. He didn’t come today. Who cares? As much as you wanted to force some sense into your stubborn brain, you were still hoping he’d show up, even if you didn’t talk to each other. You just wanted to see him, is all. Great time to start acting like a stupid teenager, Y/N. Kudos.

  You were in the middle of a pretty heated argument with yourself as you entered the classroom. Taehyung picked a desk in the middle, as he usually did when the both of you were able to sit next to each other. You were almost putting your stuff down at his side when something caught your attention. There. You felt a girlish jolt of excitement when you saw Yoongi sitting at the last row. His silky black hair was damped, probably from the shower, and he was wearing a black, long sleeved shirt, v cut. You were about to divert your eyes, but then he stared right at your face and calmy removed his bag from the chair next to his. He smirked, as if defying you to take a seat. Annoying little piece of-

  “Tae, do you mind if I sit somewhere else today?”

  “What?” He looked at you, confused. “Where do you want us to…” Your eyes flashed to the end of the room and he followed your gaze. “What? Why would you-”

  “Do you mind?”

  “Uh… No?”

  “Okay, great. See you soon.” You knew Taehyung was confused, so you should probably be thinking of what to tell him when this class was over. But for now, you just carried yourself to the empty spot in the back. Yoongi was looking at you with an amused expression, hiding his little smile behind his intertwined hands. You wanted to wash that smug off his face so bad. You took a seat and his scent assaulted you, warm and musky. Almost irresistible. You saw Taehyung from across the room gazing at the both of you with an inscrutable countenance.

  “Is your boyfriend mad that you sat with me today?” He audaciously asked.

  “He’s not my boyfriend.”

  “I see. Must be hard, then,” he looked almost sympathetic.

  “What?” Your face contorted into confusion.

  “Nevermind. Tell me how was your Sunday,” he said while opening his notebook and doodling something you couldn’t decipher yet.

  “So we’re friends now?”

  “Pretty much.”

  “Shouldn’t you ask me first?” You lifted your brow.

  “You’re bossy today.”

  You were about to give him a proper answer when the teacher barged in, almost breathless. As the class began, focusing on Hess’s Law was your main priority, it really was. But you couldn’t help the tingle crawling up your skin every time he unintentionally bumped his arm into yours, because he was still drawing, keeping his head down since Mrs. Edwards started talking. Still, you couldn’t move. No. Focus. You held onto the edge of your desk with one hand, knuckles white, as you kept the other taking notes on the subject.

  “Relax,” he softly whispered, not taking his eyes away from his notebook. You immediately loosened the tight grip of your left hand.

  “I’m relaxed,” you lied, imitating his tone. He chuckled, lifting his head to show you the most beautiful gummy smile. God, why was he so distractingly handsome? His soft, pale skin, his cat-like eyes. His hands, Lord, you wouldn’t even dwell on his hands. Everything about him was appealing, alluring. His voice, his smell, his gaze. He was devilish.  

  All of a sudden, he ripped off the page he was working on. You tried not to get even more distracted, keeping your eyes on the board, until he touched your arm with his hand. You tensed. “Here, keep this if you want to,” he said, passing the folded paper to you. Curiosity washed over your face and you were about to unfold it, but he stopped you. “I don’t think you should open it now.”

  “Why? Is it, like, an erotic sketch?” You could tell you broke his demeanor a little, he seemed both shocked and amused.

  “I wonder if that kind of thought crosses your brain very often. You’re filthy, Y/N,” he smirked. You almost choked at his tone and his words. He was teasing you, and you refused to go down without a fight.

  “Well, I don’t exactly know you, do I? You could be a perv.” He bit back a chuckle.

  “I’m an honorable man. You’ll see.”

  “Will I, now?”

  “Yes. We’re friends now, aren’t we?”

  “You haven’t convinced me yet.”

  “Challenge accepted.” The two of you stared at each other for a few seconds, then the bell rang. He grabbed his stuff and got up, then tilted his head and asked, “Do you want a ride… friend?”

  “I thought you didn’t ride here today.” Confusion stained his expression before he realized the meaning behind your words. You could see the enlightenment in his face and suddenly banging your head on a wall wasn’t all too bad. He was too cocky for his own good, and now you’ve just made it worse. Way to go.

  “I parked on a different spot,” he responded.

  “Yeah, sure. Uh, anyways… Thanks for the offer, but I’m going home with Tae.”

  “Suit yourself.” Before walking away, he turned around and said, “I’ll save you a seat tomorrow, Y/N.” Before you could elaborate an answer, he was already out the door, and Taehyung was in front of you with that ‘what-the-actual-fuck’ face he made every time he was caught off guard.

  “I’ll explain on the way home,” you sighed.

        ||\\

  You were both in the safety of your bedroom when you told Taehyung everything. From how Ian tried to do God knows what with you, to why he wasn’t able to. Pure luck. It was pure luck that Yoongi happened to be passing by, and it was pure luck that he’d bothered to check what was going on. You told him Jimmy was there. You saw the guilt and rage clawing their way to his chest, and there it was; the reason you were wary to tell him in the first place. Taehyung was explosive, a force of nature when he let himself indulge.

  “I’ll kill him. Why did you hide that from me?” Even though he was trying his best to hold back, you could still tell how furious he truly was. “Answer me, Y/N, I’m not fucking around here,” he didn’t mean for it to sound like a scold, but it still did.

  “I knew you’d be mad,” you retorted.

  “Of course I’d be fucking mad. I don’t think you understand just how mad I am.”

  “I know. Tae, really, nothing serious happened. It’s not worthy getting yourself in trouble for it.”

  “How can you even say that?” he barked.

  “Promise me you’ll let it go,” you asked softly.

  He looked like he’d just heard the worst profanity fall from your lips. “I don-“

  “Promise, Tae,” you were using your serious voice now, the one you used to tell him that no, it was not okay for him to mess with your books back when you were kids. You took it to the heart too often. He stared at you for a moment or two before sighing.

  “Okay,” he grudgingly said. “If that’s what you want.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you,” he said after a moment.

  “It’s not your fault. Really, it’s not.”

  “I know. I’m just… sorry,” he let his head rest on your lap. You hummed and stroke his hair for a while. These little moments of utter understanding and peace was one of the reasons he was your best friend. The person you could rely on, always. And he could always rely on you, too.

||\\

   A few weeks passed you by in the blink of an eye. After the infamous events of that night, you and Yoongi grew closer each day. Not that it was always easy, he was infuriating at times; you had to be sharp to keep up with the incessant bickering. But, for what it’s worth, you were able to gather that he was much more than just a little shit, even though he tried to deny it. 

   And you suppose that’s one of the reasons to why your stomach flutters and your heart skips a couple of beats when he gets too close. 

   Probably a month too late, you come across that piece of paper Yoongi had mysteriously given you the first morning you sat together.  You took it in your hands with a gasp and carefully unfolded it, taking a sharp intake of breath at the drawing. It was a pair of eyes – your eyes, perfectly detailed by strong, yet delicate, traces. It was beautiful and left no room for doubts as to whose they were. The cocky bastard was actually pretty talented, you had to give him that. Before you had much time to think about it, your phone rang. You hesitated a moment before picking up, the number was unknown.

  “Hello?”

  “Did you like it?” The voice on the other line was coarse and drawn, and you recognized it immediately.

  “How did you get my number?” You asked while laying yourself on the bed, staring at the ceiling. 

   He had become a constant whenever you were at school or at the library. Nothing beyond that. The call was a pleasent surprise.

  “I have my ways. Will you answer at least one of my questions anytime soon?” There was a hint of a boyish amusement in his tone, and that instantly made you lighter. You liked him better in a good mood.

  “You don’t answer any of mine, so why should I bother?” You shrugged, even though he couldn’t see you.

  “That’s hardly fair. What do you want to know, George?”

  You scoffed at the nickname. “First things first. I want to know how you got my number.”

  “It’s not so hard to get privileged information on the students’ personal data if you’re charming enough. Ms. Parker has a soft spot for me.” Of course. You should’ve seen it coming.

  “You’re shameless,” you scolded half-heartedly, taking a plushie in your hands and squeezing it.

  “It’s one of my many qualities. So, can you answer me now?”

  “Hmm… I might’ve liked it,” you stated, referring to the book he’d recommended. “But you’re already a pretty conceited man, so I should probably spare you the details.”

  He was silent for a while, and you almost mention the drawing you found in your backpack. But then, he’s talking again. “So you think I’m pretty, huh?”

 “Are you… Have you-“ you stammered in astonishment and he chuckled. “Do you actually select the words you want to hear?” you asked and he hummed.

  “Where are you?”

  “Home,” you answered without much thought.

  “I’ll pick you up in ten. Be ready.”

  “Wait, what?” You jolted out of the bed, dropping the plushie on the floor. “You can’t just… decide that. What if I’m busy?”

  “You’re not.”

  “What if I don’t want to?”

  “But you do,” He sounded almost confused. And he was right, you did want to. Somewhere deep inside your brain there was a voice saying that you should’ve objected at least a little bit more. But, against your better judgement, you kept quiet, and soon enough your silence gave you away. “I’m hanging up now. See you soon, George.” You meant to talk back to him, but he’d already ended the call. That, arrogant, insolent, contemptuous jer-

  Before finishing that thought, you remembered you didn’t have much time. So you took a five minute shower, put on a little mascara and went out of the bathroom to find something to wear. There wasn’t enough time to go wild, so you just went for your favorite pair of mom jeans and tucked a burgundy sweater in. After brushing your hair and your teeth, you were ready.

  As soon as you were done, you heard a horn and rushed to the window. There he was, in all his glory, hips resting against his stupidly cool Triumph Rocket. Black boots, black jeans, black long-neck shirt and his usual leather jacket. Wonder what his favorite color might be, you scoffed. He shot you a smirk that made you hold your breath for a moment. It now occurred to you that you had no idea as to where he was taking you. Also, was it a date? A friend thing? Shit. You should’ve said no. You sighed. It was too late now.

  Before running downstairs, you sprayed a little bit of perfume on the nape of your neck and your wrists. Chloé, your signature scent.

  “I’m going out for a bit.”

  She was sitting by the window with a hot beverage on her hands and a book on her lap. Like mother, like daughter.

  “Last time you said that…”

  “I know,” you cut her off gently. “But I have class tomorrow. I promise I won’t be long.”

  “Is your phone charged, young lady?”

  “Yep, it is.”

  “Then call me if anything happens, alright?”

  “Sure thing. Bye, mom,” you gave her a brief peck on the forehead and rushed out the door.

  He was waiting for you at the porch, even more breathtaking now that you could see him up close. His musky scent was stronger and his pale skin was glowing. He was drinking you in with mysteriously piercing eyes.

  “Come,” he said, taking you by the hand.

  “Where are we going anyway?” you asked. As the both of you approached his motorcycle, you were trying your best not to trip.

  “You’ll see.” He took a helmet off a compartment that you didn’t know to exist and cupped your face to hold you still before he put it on you.

  “Is this like a Hitchcock movie? Will you take me just far enough so I can meet my fate by the end of the night?” A hint of dread crossed his features, but he composed himself soon enough.

  “Do you believe in fate, Y/N?” He asked, fixing the straps under your chin, his fingers setting your skin aflame.

  “I don’t know,” you couldn’t pinpoint exactly why, but his countenance urged you to provide a proper answer. “Faith is just not my strong suit, I guess,” you mumbled.

  Yoongi pondered about what you said for a moment. “Hold that thought, yeah?” Then he climbed the vehicle. “Hop on,” he started the engine. You were now too aware of the fact that you had never ‘hopped on’ one of those. “Don’t worry, I’m a really good driver,” he tugged his lips upwards.

  “I just… I’ve never done this.”

  “What, ride a motorcycle?” He asked and you nodded. “Trust me. I wouldn’t let anything happen,” he reassured you.

  I know. So you climbed the damn thing and held tight onto his waist, almost comforted by his warmth. He felt the sensitive skin on his back crawl at the contact. Especially between his shoulder blades.

||\\

     You spent the entire ride with your eyes closed. If you had any doubt that Yoongi was a mad man, those god-knows-how-many minutes on the back of his motorcycle had erased them completely. He was going fast. You could feel the wind ricocheting your face relentlessly, and every time he had to make a turn, your stomach fluttered. Sometimes, he turned his head just a little bit, as if checking if you were at least breathing, but you would grit your teeth and snap at him to look ahead, tightening your grip. You could feel him chuckle, his whole upper body being assaulted by small tremors.

  But when you finally arrived at your destination, it was all worth it.

  “Do you like it?” Expectation washed all over his ethereal features.

  “Do I… like it? It’s amazing,” your eyes sparkled with wonder and astonishment at the sight of the ocean. You were at a relatively high spot, like a small cliff, and you could smell the delicious salty breeze that you adored so much. But what truly amazed you, what really took your breath away, was the electric blue lights sparkling all over the wave crests. “Bioluminescence! How did you find this place? Can we go down?” You asked with the biggest smile, a childish excitement seeping through your tone. He giggled, the most magnificent, angelic sound you had ever heard.

  “I’d rather if we didn’t. I don’t want you to meet your fate at those slippery rocks, it wouldn’t be very Hitchcock-y,” he joked. You felt a bit disappointed but chose to let it go. The night, the sea, the sky; it was all too beautiful for you to allow yourself to be petty.

  He took a few steps ahead and sat closer to the edge, wind whisking his hair and making his catlike eyes narrow. You followed suit, sitting in lotus by his side. You both took a minute to appreciate the sight, falling into a comfortable silence, that was soon broken by his husky voice.

  “I come here a lot when I need to remind myself of who I am. Of where I’m from,” he said, still looking at the waters below, eyebrows furrowed. “I never thought of bringing anyone else here before.”

  “So why did you?” Your voice was small, whispered.

  “I don’t know. I guess…” he stopped for a moment. “I possibly just wanted to make sure you were okay. And I don’t know any place else that feels more like home to me. Perhaps I also wanted to share it with you.” Then he turned his gaze to you, eyes reflecting the moonlight. He was divine, bewitching. Especially now, when he seemed to be opening up to you for the first time. You felt your heartbeat speed up at his confession.

  “Thank you,” you said softly, diverting your gaze to the waves. “I can understand why you’re so fond of this place. It’s blissful, feels like heaven.”

   He humms, fixing his gaze on the crashing waves above you.

  “Y/N.” He was surveying your face now, as if trying to read you. Expectant. 

  “Yes?”

  “Do you believe in heaven?” His voice is a whisper and, for a moment, you wonder if you’d heard him correctly. 

  That was probably the last question you’d expected from him, it took you completely by surprise. You inhaled deeply, searching for the right words, but ended up blurting what first came to mind.

  “For all I know, heaven is here. Hell, too. I want to be better, yes, for the people I love. I want to be better for whoever needs me to be, because I know how tough this can get. If there’s an afterlife… at least I’ll know that I tried to be good for the right reasons. So yeah, let’s say I don’t dwell on it. Whatever happens, happens.”

   By the time you finished talking, there was something sparkling deep inside his onyx eyes that you couldn’t recognize.

  “That’s sort of refreshing,” and there it was again. The sheepish gummy smile you adored so much, so utterly genuine and divine you thought you’d die.

  “What about you?”

  “Yes. Heaven, Hell, the whole ordeal. Except for God.”

  “But… How would it be possible for all those things to exist without God?”

  “That is not what I said,” he let out a humorless little chuckle. “Let it suffice that God is… I believe, much too real. Just not how humankind paint him to be. I believe God exists; I just don’t believe in him. Not anymore.” His tone was raw and melancholic. You ached with the need to console him, because he seemed adrift; and that bothered you more than it should.

  Without realizing, your face had gotten closer to his, and suddenly he was all over the place. All you could see, smell, hear, it was all him. He must have known, because then he traced your features lightly with his long, graceful fingers. You thought that was it. That was heaven.  

  You closed your eyes so you could savor every second of it, heartbeat going wild and butterflies assaulting your stomach. He lifted his other hand, and now he was cupping your face gingerly, like you were made of glass. Every touch ignited something foreign and glorious inside of you.

  He shifted, moving closer, and his scent hit you, unyielding, but you didn’t dare to open your eyes. When his lips finally brushed against yours, it was enough to set something off, and your hands made their way to his neck on their own as you let out a shaky breath. You pressed yourself harder and sucked on his bottom lip, before caressing it with the tip of your tongue, earning a groan from him.

   Well, shit.

  He took the hair in the nape your neck in a dainty – yet firm – fistful, asking permission with his tongue to deepen the kiss. There was no denying him, you could never. His taste, God, you could spend eternity tasting every single bit of him. When he licked past your teeth, you moaned, and it was so utterly pleasing, sinful, that he felt compelled to go harder, mercilessly swirling his tongue inside your mouth. There was no room to breathe, the neediness for one another unbending.

  You don’t know how much time you spent in that haze of mind-numbing desire, but neither of you dared to stop. Until your phone rang.

  You jerked away, pupils blown wide from the intensity of the moment, skin flushed. You were both panting, eyes trained on each other, searching, scrutinizing, waiting for a reaction. His reddened, glistening lips were parted slightly and he seemed displeased to cut the moment short. Even so, he managed to talk.

  “You should probably get that,” he gusted, trying to catch his breath.  You couldn’t find it in yourself to do anything but nod.

  You took the device out of your back pocket and checked the ID caller, brows furrowing. He mirrored your expression.

  “Who is it?”

  “It’s a girl from school. We have history class together. That’s… odd,” you said. You and Sarah have never had a real conversation, one that didn’t involve Napoleon or Julien Sorel. You just had her number saved because of a paper you had to do together a while ago. “Hello?”

  “Y/N? Thank God,” she sounded truly relieved. “Look, I’m sorry to bother you but… We’re at the school’s gym and-“ she let out a loud gasp, and only then you noticed the noise in the background, an uproar of voices and… Did you did hear a punch?

  “Sarah? What is it?”

  “Tae’s here. Y/N, you should come…”

  Your blood ran cold.

  “What? Is he okay? Sarah, tell me what’s going on. Now,” you blurted, already standing, missing the way Yoongi’s face contorted in confusion and concern.

  “We tried to stop them, we really did, I-“

  “Sarah,” you grunted.

  “Okay, yeah. Him and Ian are at each other’s throats right now, it’s pretty bad. Y/N, I don’t think it’ll be long before someone calls the cops. I just thought I’d let you know, ‘cause-“

  “I’ll be there in a minute,” you cut her off, and then hang up.

  You were a lot of things at that moment, but mostly worried and angry. You had told him not to, you had told him to let it go, and he went behind your back. You heart rate was through the roof, adrenaline rushing through your veins. But this time, it wasn’t out of passion.

  “Y/N,” Yoongi had a wary look on his face. “Tell me.”

  “Can you take me back? Tae’s in trouble.”

  ||\\

  He hadn’t meant to. He really hadn’t meant to break his promise, but he knew it was bound to be broken the minute he made it. The idea of someone else touching you was torturous enough, but to think of them doing it without your consent actually drove him crazy with rage. Those unbidden images of you scared, asking that piece of shit to stop, only for him to hold you tighter, closer, wrapping his filthy hands around you… it wouldn’t stop coming to him, even though he’d tried his hardest to restrain them. It had haunted him ever since you told him. He felt sick. He hated himself for not being there for you, with you. Like the disgraceful best friend he was, he’d canceled movie night to get wasted. Ugly feelings, even the ones he didn’t care to admit, pierced their sharp claws at his chest. Guilt, exasperation, jealously.

  He’d tried to suppress the bitterness from watching you with the new guy, he tried to be just glad that he was there and hold out against it, because if he wasn’t… The point is: he really tried. But the way you looked at him made Taehyung’s stomach sink. He’d never seen it before, and he craved it like a man in the desert did a single drop of water. He wanted to be on the receiving end of that gaze more than anything.

  He’d go mad if he stayed inside, so he went out for a jog. Your mother had told him you weren’t home, and he figured you’d be at the coffee shop near school. What a big surprise it was when he found Ian next to a blue SUV that was parked near the gymnasium. He choked out a chuckle; it was just too tempting. Rage boiled trough his veins, and at that moment he knew he couldn’t hold back. He couldn’t not break that scumbag in half, even if that meant he’d be going against your wishes.

  So he did. Every punch, given or taken, satisfied him little by little. Because he also deserved to be punished, he thought.

 ||\\

    “What was that shit that you pulled? After I explicitly told you to stay out of it! Why now?”

  Taehyung had a bloody nose, a deep cut just above his eyebrow and some pretty ugly purple spots all over his upper body, staining his previously pristine skin. When you and Yoongi had arrived at school, you discovered he’d been taken. By a police officer, nonetheless.

  You’d been so mad. But now that he was in front of you, all screwed up in torn clothes, the speech you had prepared escaped your mind. You just couldn’t understand his impulsiveness, and the fact that he was in a tiny, smelly cell because of you was infuriating.

  “We both knew it was bound to happen eventually, so I figured rather sooner than later,” he answered nonchalantly.

  “Taehyung,” you said through gritted teeth

  “What, Y/N?!” He snapped. “You wanted me to let him get away with it?”

  “Yes! Yes, I literally told you that that’s what I wanted!”

  “Well, too bad,” he darkly said. He knew he was in the wrong here. But he was just too riled up to think straight.

  “Okay,” you said, taking a sharp intake of breath while running your fingers through your hair, “Okay, let’s be practical about this. Your dad is coming, right? We can talk about it at home.”

  “Fine,” he said, avoiding your eyes.

  “Fine,” you, too, knew how to be petty. “I’ve got to go outside for a minute. Behave,” your gaze flashed to an officer for a second, but quickly made its way back to Taehyung. When you realized he wouldn’t give you an answer, you just sighed and carried yourself out the door.

  As soon as you stepped out of the threshold, you saw Yoongi leaning on his motorcycle, arms crossed and head hanging from his shoulders. You didn’t know what tonight had meant. You wanted to at least try to figure out if he felt the same as you did, but you had bigger problems. And to be honest, you’d rather sleep on it. It was all too intense and hazy.

  “Hey,” you said, walking slowly towards him. He lifted his head and offered a tiny smile.

  “Your boyfriend really hates my guts, doesn’t he?”

  “He’s not-“ you cut yourself off when you realized he was just messing with you again. Of course he is, he stuck his tongue down your throat just an hour ago. “Anyways. I guess Tae will be out in a couple of hours, but I have to stay here and wait for Mr. Kim. Thank you for… tonight.”

  He nodded. “No problem, George. I’ll call y-“

  Suddenly, his eyebrows knitted together and his whole body tensed as he straightened himself. If you ever told anyone about this, you’d probably be admitted in a mental facility. But you swore that, for an instant, his eyes changed colors, going from pitch black to a deep violet. It happened in a heartbeat, and then he wasn’t looking at you anymore, but at something past your shoulder. You felt a chill run down your spine as you turned around to see what caught his attention.

  A tall, broad-shouldered man was walking towards you. As his lean figure got closer, the tension grew almost palpable, and you could see from afar he had a small smile plastered on his plump lips. But it wasn’t comforting at all. Instead, it was vile, almost sadistic. Your head snapped to Yoongi again, and you saw how he didn’t move a muscle, fists closed tight and jaw clenched. That made you panic a little.

  “Yoongi, what-“

  “Y/N, go inside,” his voice was hoarse and restrained, like he hadn’t talked in weeks.

  No, you wanted to say. That man, whoever he was, screamed bad news. He walked like a predator, and you felt like his prey. Though your self-preservation instincts were going wild with every step he took, something stronger made you want to stay. You knew he wasn’t here for you, but for him. And that sparked a need to protect him that you didn’t know to exist, nor where it came from. However, you just kept quiet and waited for the man to catch up, not missing the murderous aura emitted from Yoongi.

  At last, he stood in front of you, reddish hair and twisted smirk still on his face. You could see him clearly now, and he was beautiful. The kind of beauty you’ve only seen once.

  “Has anyone actually pressed charges this time, little brother?” His voice was deceivingly soft.

   Brother?

  “How did you find me?” Yoongi asked with an icy voice that almost made you shudder.

  “Is that how you greet your elders? Father would not be pleased.”

  “Well, you’re one to talk, aren’t you?”

  “People are still hung up on that, I see,” the man chuckled. “Yoongi-ah,” he said, his feet taking him closer at a slower pace. Yoongi kept his ground, knuckles white from his balled-up fists, while you instinctively took a step back. That’s when they both seemed to acknowledge your presence. Yoongi’s eyes bulged slightly, his pale skin becoming ever paler, while the other wore an unreadable expression on his face.

  “I told you to go inside,” he almost growled, taking your wrist in an iron grip and pulling you to stand behind his back. You didn’t understand. You didn’t understand any of it. Why did he seem so threatened by his own blood? The man was scary, sure, but was he actually dangerous? Your head was spinning, so you held onto his jacket to keep yourself vertical.

  “Were you not planning on introducing me to your friend, baby brother? That’s just rude, you know how much I love meeting new people.”

  “I’d advise you to be careful now, Jin.” The threat in Yoongi’s low voice was noticeable even to you, but Jin didn’t seem to mind. On the contrary, he relished on it. His little brother didn’t get all protective over just anyone, and the fact that he didn’t want the eldest to know about you pointed straight to a weak spot. One which he intended to take full advantage of.

  “Easy, Prince, no need to get riled up,” Jin chuckled again, lifting both hands in a sign of peace. “What do you take me for?”

  “Neither of us can deny your nature, can we, brother? It’s the reason why we’re here in the first place.”

  “It’s true. Have you told her your name yet? Since you appear very comfortable sharing such details in front of her.”

  “What are you doing here? I thought I had made myself clear the last time we saw each other,” Yoongi changed the subject, hoping you wouldn’t pay much attention to his question.

  Jin’s face turned serious for the first time before he spoke. “They approached me, Yoongi-ah. It would seem that they need their Flam-“

  “Quit it!” Yonngi growled. “Hold your tongue, I don’t want to hear any of it. You need to go.”

  “Not until I have delivered my message.” The well-proportioned man stood his ground.

  Yoongi took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. He could not have this kind of conversation in front of you – in front of anyone, for that matter. Jin was breaking the rules; an old habit of his. “Then I need you to wait for me at home. I suppose you already know where I live, don’t you? I’ll meet you there soon.”

  “Alright then. Y/N, it was splendid meeting you. I do hope I get to see you again soon.”

  Yoongi scowled as he watched Jin turn on his heels and disappear in the night. For all he knew, Jin would never get this close to you ever again. He was caught off guard today. He then turned around, black orbs scrutinizing you for a reaction.    

  There were many things going through your mind at that exact moment. Too many questions, he could tell. You looked at him in a grimace of confusion and horror.

  “How did he know my name?” That was the first thing that popped into your mind. You hadn’t said your name, neither did Yoongi. “And who’s ‘they’? And did he really just call you prince? Is that a pet name or something?” You blurted out, sensing you wouldn’t have too much time to elaborate the questions the way you wanted to.

  He looked into your eyes, face contorted in what you could only describe as a desperate hesitation, brows furrowed and lips pressed into a fine line. He was pondering his options. You knew that because, when he made up his mind, you could clearly see the taint of resolution.

  “I can’t answer your questions,” he muttered.

  “Why not?”

  “I’m really sorry, Y/N. Please, just forget about this. All of it.”

  “What are you talking about?” you were on the brink of losing it at this point. First Taehyung, and now this. He wasn’t making any sense. But his eyes spoke to you in ways he couldn’t. Only then, you understood. “No,” you said with a resolution of your own. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Listen, it’s okay if you don’t want to tell me right away, whatever it is, just don-“

  “Y/N.”

  “Yes?!”

  “Close your eyes.”

  “Why?”

  “Listen to me just this once,” he groaned, stepping into your personal space. He twisted your hair in one hand, holding your face securely to his. When he rested his forehead on yours, your eyes gave into his wishes, closing on their own. “I’ll be gone for a little while, George,” your breath hitched, but you didn’t interrupt him. He gave you a light peck on the mouth, lips soft and moist, breath hot on your face. “I have to settle some things straight. Be good for me while I’m gone, yeah? Don’t do anything stupid,” he frowned.

  “Will you come back?” your voice almost cracked, ‘cause you weren’t so sure of his answer. You felt foolish. You’ve only known him for a short period of time, after all. But the intensity of your feelings, though you couldn’t discern them clearly yet, scared you.

  This felt horribly like goodbye – it was, at least for now – and you hated it.

  “Do you want me to?”

  “Yes,” you answered straight away.

  “Alright,” he nodded. “Then I will.”

  You didn’t dare open your eyes when he stepped away from you after one last chaste peck on your lips, nor when you heard him start the engine of his Triumph. But when you felt a warm hand on your shoulder, you jolted slightly and your eyes fluttered open.  

  “Let’s get you inside, kid” Mr. Kim said softly, brushing away a lonesome tear from your cheek. “Then you can help me scold my boy for making us come all the way to the police station on a school day, how does that sound?” he tried to uplift your spirit, and you offered him a half-hearted smile.

   ||\\

                                                       “Which way I fly is hell; myself am hell;

And in the lowest deep a lower deep

Still threatening to devour me opens wide,

To which the hell I suffer seems a heaven.

Oh then at last relent: is there no place

Left for repentance, none for pardon left?”

     It’d been four weeks since the last time you saw him. A whole month since he’d disappeared completely. At first, you waited anxiously for him to reappear out of nowhere. For him to just slide into the classroom, like he’d done the first time. But as time passed by and the third week came, you grew worried. He didn’t get specific about how much time it would take for him to do whatever it was, but you imagined it would be one, maybe two weeks. But now, a month later, you were beginning to wonder if he’d even come back at all. If something had happened, if he was okay…

  No. He promised.

  You’d rather not dwell on the possibility of something going wrong – hell, you didn’t even know what he was doing or what was that strange conversation he had with his deviant brother in front of the police station. You had a few theories, though. Not that you’d ever utter them out loud.

  Number one: mafia. Maybe not The Godfather sort of thing, since that seemed pretty outdated, but rather… Scarface, perhaps? So you had come up with the idea of Jin being a druglord; nothing more, nothing less. It made sense, to be honest.

  Number two: well, number two wasn’t exactly clear on your mind, but had something to do with super rich parents and an insane heritage. He could be the prince of an empire, right? You didn’t know anything about his family, except that his brother was blood-curdling.

  You just wished to keep your head in the right place until he explained the situation to you. If he explained, that is. Sighing, you tried to contain your derailed thoughts and get back to the real world, where Taehyung needed you to pay attention to Mamma Mia! for the nth time.

  “Alright, that’s it. You didn’t even sing along during S.O.S and that’s where I draw the line,” he said, taking the remote from your hand and pausing the movie. It was a cozy night and you were both plopped on the couch wearing socks and sweatpants.

  “When have I ever sang along during S.O.S, Tae?”

  “I remember it vividly, we were eleven. But that’s not the point,” he retorted. You bit your lip and kept your eyes trained on the frozen screen of the TV, already sensing where this was going. “You’ve been like this for a while now.”

  “Like what?” you pushed, trying to feign innocence. You were not in the mood for this right now. You just wanted to stare unseeingly at the TV and have some private time with your own thoughts until the movie was over.

  He sighed. “Look, I can only guess what’s going on,” he scowled, but tried to compose his features into a serene mask before speaking again. “But I need you to not be in your own head for a minute.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t apologize. I want to help,” he said, taking your hand in his. The touch was warm and familiar.

  “I know, Marzipan,” another sigh. You took your hand from his carefully and got up. “I’m going to the store, you want something?”

  “What, now? Y/N-“

  “I just-, I need coffee and snacks if we’re pulling this off. If you want me to keep my eyes opened during Moulin Rouge, that is,” you pointed out matter-of-factly

  Taehyung shifted in his seat, face contorted in confusion, wariness and a hint of hurt. “Do you want me to go with you? It’s late.”

  “No, it’s fine. You can stay and plan ahead, I’m sure we’re not stopping at the next one.”

  He watched you silently while you fumbled for your keys. When you found them, he muttered: “Don’t be too long.”

  “I won’t.”

  As soon as you crossed the threshold, the cold air of the night hit your skin, making you shiver slightly. You closed the door and hid your hands in the pockets of your sweater, bringing it closer to your body in a poor attempt to keep the warmth from escaping.

  Walking towards the convenience store located a couple of blocks from your house, you let yourself get lost in headspace again. You knew you weren’t being fair to Taehyung. As much as you wanted to talk about this situation with him, you couldn’t. It felt like betraying someone who hadn’t even put their trust in you to begin with. Yes, it was unfair, and maybe you were being a shitty friend every time he tried to have a serious conversation about the subject and you brushed him off with an excuse, like getting coffee in the middle of the night.

  You sighed, not really willing to wallow in guilt tonight, and just tried to focus on your immediate task. One step after the other, then one more, and you could already see the lights of a tiny single shop, the only one opened this late at night. It belonged to Mr. Newton, a sweet old baker who treated you kindly every time he was filling up for his cashier.

  You entered the store and heard the little bell announce your arrival. Much to your surprise, Mr. Newton was working there that night. As he saw your expression of detachment, he frowned. So you tried to arrange your features in a polite smile before speaking.

  “Hello, Mr. Newton.”

  “Y/N, child, why are you wandering alone when it’s already this late?” he asked softly, though clearly concerned for your safety.

  “Don’t worry, sir,” you answered, walking towards the cooler where they kept the iced coffee and taking two in one hand, as you went for the chips next. “Tae and I needed a little snack. Movie night.”

  He nodded and you placed the items on the counter for him to scan.

  “Well, then. Tell that kid to come by whenever he can. My wife wants to send some essential oils for Mr. Kim’s aromatherapy sessions,” just as he’d said it, he got a bit closer to you, as if the next words to come out of his mouth were a secret. “Truth is, she misses him. The boy is the only one who can stand her cooking.”

  Despite being moody, you chuckled wholeheartedly. No one could be indifferent to Taehyung’s charms, it seemed.

  “Yes, sir, I’ll tell him.”

  As you went through your wallet to pay the old man, you heard the little bell once again. Mr. Newton greeted the new client, but you were too engrossed in finding the right bills to snap your head in the newcomer’s direction. However, the inquisitive sound that left the old man caused you to steal a glimpse, catching auburn hair and broad shoulders in their wake. You stood still for a moment, trying to recall why those locks seemed so familiar. Until it hit you.

  “Jin?” you breathed, not loud enough for anyone in the store to actually hear you. Just as you muttered his name, he closed the door and turned left, disappearing from your sight. You gasped. “Keep the change, Mr. Newton!” you said – audibly, this time – leaving a ten dollar bill on the counter and grabbing your stuff as gracefully as you could muster, rushing to the door like your life depended on it.

  “No running in the store, kid!” he tried to scold you, but could already feel the cool breeze as you opened the door and looked around, expecting to find his brother. Only this time around you weren’t scared, no. You wanted answers, heart beating fast at the possibility of hearing from Yoongi, maybe even seeing him… Okay, no, not the time for this, first things first.

  When you realized he was nowhere to be found, you ran. Left. He went left. You passed by a few houses and almost tripped on a stray cat, turning your head to the side to check on it and apologizing profusely as you picked up your pace again. A few blocks later, you were already out of breath. You came to a halt and put both hands on your knees, gasping and feeling your lungs burn.

  Trying to ease your labored breathing, you realized that you were probably going crazy. A halfhearted chuckle escaped your parted lips. You were disappointed, even if actually meeting the redhead meant trouble. Trying not to let frustration and melancholy get the best of you, you decided to just let it go and head back home. Even if it was Jin, he probably wouldn’t tell you anything anyway.

 ||\\

    The snow under your feet was slippery as you got out of the library, leather backpack and navy-blue beanie on. You held a large cappuccino on one hand, careful not to spill it as you dodged passers-by and umbrellas every now and then. The streets were a little crowded that afternoon, and you were dying to get home and relish on Mrs. D’Angelis’ famous chicken noodle soup. Maybe she’d even grant you a warm glass of wine if you asked properly. You tried to occupy your mind with ordinary, day-to-day thoughts, trying to ignore the flutter on the pit pf your stomach.

  During that entire week, you were constantly under the impression that something was off. When you were going to school with Taehyung, or grocery shopping for your mother, there was always that tingling feeling on the nape of your neck that told you that someone was watching. Then you’d turn around and nothing. No one was ever there. The uneasiness was uncomfortable, but you didn’t feel endangered, just really jittery. And your motto was: no better medicine for anxiety than tons of caffeine.

  “Mom, I’m home!” you crooned, taking your coat off and discarding the empty thermal cup.

  “In the kitchen, honey!”

  The smell was splendid. You took a deep breath, already yearning for the hot meal, and kissed your mother on the cheek while she stirred… something.

  “Uh, smells nice,” you praised, making your way to the fridge for a glass of water. “I’m shocked Tae hasn’t come knocking on our door yet. Maybe his flair is broken because of the flu.”

  “Is Taehyungie sick, honey? Why didn’t you tell me?” she almost whined.

  “It’s nothing, just a bit of phlegm. But I’ll take some of these,” you pointed to the pots, “for him and his dad later.”

  “You really should. Now go upstairs and change before dinner.”

  You mumbled a response and climbed the stairs to put on some good old band t-shirt and sweatpants. You didn’t notice the broad-shouldered frame behind the door, and as soon as you closed it behind you, you felt a cold hand covering your mouth, while the other held you in place by the waist. Your whole body tensed, eyes bulged and breath hitched. Fuck. You were prepared to let out a loud scream, but his whispered voice stopped you.

  “It’s me, it’s me,” he shushed you. As a reflex, your muscles relaxed. “Gonna take my hand off your mouth now, George,” he informed, slowly moving his hand from your face.

  Of course it was him. His smell was all over the place, his touch still left little electric jolts on your skin. You snapped your head and turned around to face him. You realized your memories could never do him justice. He was so heartbreakingly handsome, you could cry. Pale skin, shiny disheveled raven hair. You noticed the circles under his eyes were darker and he seemed exhausted. Regardless, when your eyes fell on his lips, your body reacted before your mind could.

  Your hands made their way to the nape of his neck, caressing and gently pulling his hair. At the same time, you clasped your lips together on a desperate kiss. His surprise didn’t stop him from matching your frenzy, grunting as he sucked your upper lip and asked permission with his tongue, one that you promptly granted. Henceforth, your tongues performed an erotic, lewd dance as they fought for dominance, swirling and exploring each other’s mouths.

  Only when the back of your knees touched the bed did you realize he was moving you towards it. He broke the kiss for a moment to mercilessly throw you on the soft duvet, and you let out a surprised moan when he immediately covered your body with his, mouth returning to yours. A primal need surged from within you when you felt one of his hands roaming at your side lustfully, gabbing tight on your ribcage, your waist, your hip. He hoisted your leg and you hooked it around him, holding back a loud moan when he pressed his erection to your groin. You could feel your panties drenching from the sudden contact, a new wave of desire making your core ache.

  “Y/N-“ he tried to speak through heavy breathing, his lips never leaving yours long enough for him to finish a sentence. “Baby,” he groaned, obviously trying to say something, but you weren’t ready yet. You rocked your hips against him, earning another lecherous noise from his rosy lips as he closed his eyes shut.

  You used that moment of weakness to knock him to his side, climbing on top of him as you clamped your thighs harder on his hips. His eyes went dark at the sight, a devilish smirk tainting his beautiful features. You didn’t give him time to say anything, taking his lips on another bruising kiss. His hands on your ass, squeezing and groping, and you felt him throb inside his pants. You moaned, a gush of wetness coming out as you clenched around nothing. You couldn’t form coherent thoughts anymore, pressing yourself harder against his bulge as you rolled your hips, searching blindly and desperately for a sweet release that was already so close…

  “Hold it, baby.” His voice was stern, and he pinned both your wrists on your back, his hands seeming incredibly big when closed around them. He was sitting now, hot, labored breath hitting your lips, heightening your senses and sending shivers down your spine. You crumbled under his dominant demeanor, feeling an inconceivable need to obey, and instantly stood still. It surprised him as much as it did you, and you saw a smug grin plaster itself on his face. “That’s it. Be good for me so I don’t lose my mind.”

  You let out a breath you didn’t know to be holding and weakly nodded, mind still clouded with want. He let go of your wrists and gently pecked your lips, sitting you down on the bed instead of his lap. Father knows he would be physically uncapable of having a proper train of thought if he didn’t.

  “So… I guess we have a lot to discuss first, don’t we?” his smile was sheepish now, hands going through his hair in a nervous tick.

  “Yes,” you breathed out. “What happened? I was so worried, Yoongi, you have no idea. I didn’t even know where you were or what the hell you were up to, I-“ you took a moment in order to stabilize your voice. You knew you were affected by his sudden absence, you just didn’t know how much until now that he was actually in front of you. “I don’t even know what the worst case scenario could be, but I bet my thoughts came pretty close,” you chuckled humorlessly.

  “I’m sorry, I never meant to worry you. If I knew I’d be gone for that long, I would’ve told you before I left. I missed you so much,” he confessed, voice lower than before, and rested his forehead on your own.

  “Tell me. Please, I need to know,” your brows furrowed.

  “I met my brothers,” he paused, waiting for a reaction that never came. It’s not that you were not surprised by the information that he had other siblings, you just wanted him to finish it before you spoke. “Jin aside, I spent… years apart from my family. You could say that we didn’t leave things on the best of terms when I left father’s, so it was a surprise for me when I learned that they wanted to talk. Notwithstanding that it’s out of need, not love.” His heavenly features contorted in hurt and resentment, and you felt you own heart clench. You gave him an eskimo kiss as a sign of reassurance and he smiled timidly. “They offered to take me back. It’s… certainly a grand gesture for the likes of us,” he shook his head slightly and knitted his brows.

  “Isn’t that a good thing? Don’t you miss them?” you didn’t know why your voice was so small.

  “Not anymore, no.” His gaze was intense and made your heart beat impossibly faster. “I do miss them. They used to be my whole existence, the reason for every breath of mine. But now… now everything’s changed.”

  “What’s changed?”

  “You.”

  Your breath hitched. If it was anyone else, if it was any other situation, you’d laugh at the cheesy line. But this was him, and that, too, changed everything. That one word was enough to unleash butterflies in your stomach, enough of them to knock you breathless. The truth behind his statement carried a heavy meaning, one that you yearned for and that made you giddy. His onyx orbs were wary, and you wondered if he was blind to the utter relief plastered on your face. It was selfish, but you couldn’t help it. Not when it came to him.

  “H-How come?”

  He chuckled. “Don’t get bashful on me now, George, I’m pretty sure you understand.”

  You tried to scowl, but the grin was insistent on your lips. “Alright, let’s put a pin on that. You still haven’t told me everything. What did your brothers want?”

  “Y/N, there are certain things about me and my family that I cannot tell you. It wouldn’t be safe.”

  “You don’t trust me?” you were mainly curious, but a hint of hurt could be heard, too.

  “That’s not it. It just wouldn’t be safe for you.”

  “Is your family involved in something… illegal? Is that why?”

  “Not illegal, no,” he chuckled.

  “Then I don’t understand.”

  “I know. But please, George, don’t be stubborn about this one. All I’m asking for is a leap of faith,” his eyes were pleading as they bore into yours. Was he aware that he could probably convince you that the sky was neon green if he looked at you like that?

  “It’s a big leap,” you mumbled.

  “I know. Just trust that I have good reasons,” he smiled softly.

  You sighed. “Fine, Romeo, keep your secrets. Just tell me if you get too deep into whatever it is that the Min’s are hiding. I care about your safety just as much as you care about mine.” You forced the heat back, secretly hoping that it did not reach your face in time for you to actually blush.

  “Doubt it,” he grinned. “Dinner is ready, Mrs. D’Angelis will be coming for you soon. I should get going.”

  Your face paled as you rushed to the wardrobe, retrieving some clean clothes from your drawer. “Wait,” you stopped on your tracks in the middle of the room, glaring at Yoongi through narrowed eyes. “How do you know that?”

  “I have my ways,” he shrugged, then tugged his lips upwards on a daring smirk. “It’s a secret.”

  “If you keep giving me clues I might just figure it out. Go on.”

  He chuckled and stood up from the bed, walking languidly in your direction. He touched your nose with the tip of his index finger, tracing it’s way all up to your forehead, then coming down to your jaw, where he grabbed firmly. His lips were smooth and slightly damped as they softly touched yours in a chaste kiss. A ragged sigh of pure bliss escaped you, and you tried to fight the haziness.

  “Bye, George,” he was still lingering when he spoke. As he broke the contact and turned to the window, you woke up from the trance.

  “Stay,” you breathed out. He looked at you with a hint of confusion. “I-I mean, you can stay if you want. I can bring you some of mom’s soup and we can eat it here. But you don’t have to, if you’re bus-“

  “Okay,” he deadpanned.

  “Okay. Yeah, uhm… I’ll go change in the bathroom, you can make yourself comfortable.”

  “Already am,” he said as he threw himself on the bed, bouncing a little. His countenance was amused and he eyed you intently, toying with the elephant plushie.

  “Of course you are,” you snorted, carrying yourself to the bathroom.

  That night, you both relished on your mother’s cooking while watching some old movie about Cole Porter on your laptop. You were sure that it wasn’t his cup of tea, but he payed attention to it nonetheless. After you were done, you offered to take the dishes downstairs, since your mother would probably have a stroke if she knew there was a boy in your room. You stopped by Taehyung’s to check on him and offer his favorite hot meal, but it didn’t take more than five minutes. You were on a hurry, and he knew better than to question it.

  Back upstairs, you and Yoongi curled up under the covers and tried to find something interesting enough to watch for what seemed to be ages, your head resting on his chest and his hands holding you securely by the waist. It wasn’t long until you fell asleep, and only then did he leave, pecking your forehead gently before jumping out the window.

  ||\\

  “Get in.”

  “No,” you tried to end the discussion then and there. As expected, you failed.

  “Y/N, you can’t go back on pinky promise. You should’ve thought this through.” His goal was to sound stern, but in reality you could see the hint of a pout on his lips. “It’s my birthday.” Okay, there it was. That was definitely a pout.

  “No,” you closed your eyes shut and facepalmed – for good measure. “Don’t give me those eyes, I’m not looking,” the sound was muffled by your hands.

  He wrapped his incredibly large fingers around your wrists and whined: “Come on, we’re already here. What’s the worst that could happen?”

  “Why on earth would you say that?” you instantly took your hands from your face and shot him a glare. He had the nerve to chuckle.

  “You can’t possibly expect me to do this alone.”

  “You can’t possibly expect me to do this at all,” you retorted, kicking the snow piled up near the curb, shunning away from his puppy dog eyes.

  “You promised you would! I’ll do it, Marzipan. If you win this round, I’ll get a tattoo with you as a birthday present,” his voice was high pitched.

  You snorted. “I was out of it, mental faculties completely fried. Drunk on power and merlot. Plus, I’m pretty sure you cheated, you could never beat me at Mario Kart,” you grumbled.

  “I did not cheat,” he was outraged. “I’m a lawful man, I abide by the rules, and they are clear: a bet is a bet.”

  You honestly have no idea why you let him talk you into this. Perhaps because you’ve been feeling guilty lately, and therefore didn’t have the heart to turn him down when he broke into your room to collect his victory this morning. It’s a good present, right? To get tattoos with your best friend? He had been trying to convince you since three birthdays ago. You hoped it would be enough to ease a bit of the weight on your chest.

  Truth is, you had been spending too much time with Yoongi these past few weeks. After what happened when he showed his face again, it became routine that he came by almost every night when your mom fell asleep. You’d talk, watch movies, kiss… But what you enjoyed the most were those moments where you curled up in his embrace, face buried in the crook of his neck, and neither of you would say a word. You’ve always appreciated peaceful silence, but those moments were so much more. You felt truly connected to him, in a way you’d never felt with anyone else. Like you were both pieces of the same puzzle, cheesy lines aside.

  Or when he would be the one to rest his head on your chest, blinking lazily as you twisted his silky, raven locks in your fingers. Perhaps those were truly your favorites, as you felt the incontrollable urge – need – to be protective of him, to never let anything disturb his serene, almost childlike countenance, so bare before you in the night’s veil. Before the sun came up and brought back the little wrinkle between his eyebrows.

  During the day, you often returned to his safe haven – one that ultimately became yours, too. The waves breaking against the rocks, the salty breeze, the deep blue of the ocean, you had gotten acquainted to it all in a heartbeat. On occasion, you’d bring warm, fuzzy blankets, hot cocoa and books, spending an entire afternoon on your own personal eden.

  You never meant for any of it to get in the way of your friendship with Taehyung, but counterbalancing proved to be harder than you first thought. Although you may have gotten too caught up, inevitably distancing yourself a bit, you were now eager to make it up to him. He was like family, after all. So here you were.

  “Fine, have it your way. But I’m telling mom that you put me up to this,” you threatened. The snow under your boots making a crunchy noise while you crossed the street to get to the tattoo parlor.

  “She won’t believe you. I’m a saint. I’m her Taehyungie.” He was beaming.

  As soon as you got in, you saw a man sitting behind the counter. He was buff, and you’d bet that pretty much his whole body was covered in piercings and tattoos – mostly about dragons and snakes. Looks aside, his voice was warm and welcoming when he greeted you.

  “Welcome, kids. My name is Eli, how may I help you today?”

  All the drawings and pictures on the walls seemed to have detained Taehyung’s attention, so you plastered a polite smile on your face before answering.

  “Hi. My friend over here came to get a tattoo,” you pointed at the boy beside you and he scowled.

  “We both did,” he smiled at the receptionist.

  “Alright. You have to sign a couple of forms before we get into details. You’re both legal, right?” the receptionist asked and you nodded. “Peach. Just a second,” he turned his attention to the computer in front of him, taking a couple of papers from the printer soon after. He handled you each a consent form. Before you signed yours, you exchanged a look with Taehyung, almost having a whole conversation – bickering – with him through knowing looks.

  “Here you go,” Taehyung handed the papers to Eli.

  “Cool. Do you guys have something in mind? We have a few drafts you can check out. But if you already know what you want, Hyunjin can draw it when you get inside. Don’t worry, he’s good.”

  “I have something in mind,” Taehyung offered a bright boxy smile. “I guess I’ll just explain it to him, then.”

  “Great,” Eli turned his eyes to you, realizing that you definitely had not made up your mind just yet. “If that’s the case, I’ll let him know that you’re going in,” he said to Taehyung, who nodded in response. When the buffy man went to the back, he glared at you through narrowed eyes.

  “I’ll come back with permanent ink on my skin. You better not chicken out by the time I’m done,” he threatened.

  “Hope you don’t regret it within the year,” you taunted.

  “I won’t,” he snorted.

  Eli returned a second later, excusing himself to lead Taehyung to the tattoo artist. In the meantime, you picked a binder that was resting on top of the counter to take a look at the drawings he’d mentioned, hoping to find something you’d actually like – or at least an inspiration. Most of them were very intricate, and although they were beautiful, you wanted something simple. Less is more when you’re tainting your skin for life because of a bet.

  You were turning the pages with such disinterest that you almost missed it. It seemed unfinished, just a sketch, and you couldn’t quite pinpoint the reason as to why it caught your attention in the first place. It was a dragon intertwined in a circle, it’s countenance exuding fierceness and strength. Inside the circle, however, was just an unembellished arrangement of lines, one that was strangely familiar and alluring. 9-7-1-12-6, if you think about a clock.

  “Oh, I see you’ve found Lee’s work. What do you think?” Eli pulled you out of your headspace.

  “Uhm… Yeah, he’s great. His drawings are pretty authentic.”

  “Uh huh, he’s been working on those for a while now. So, do you have any idea what you’re gonna get yet?”

  “Not really. I mean, I liked this one,” you pointed to the page you were previously analyzing. “Do you know if it means anything in particular?”

  “Yes! Actually, it does, but I can’t really remember what. I think it’s a sigil, though. You know, one of those thingies people believe to be magical.”

  “Mhm.” You really didn’t know why you felt the need to purge those next words, but you were saying them before you could stop yourself. “This is it.”

  “What? You’re gonna tattoo that?” Without even knowing what it means?

  “Yes. I liked the dragon.”

  ||\\

  His lips were soft against your collarbone, leaving a trail of goosebumps on their wake when he moved them lazily to your jawline, wet little kisses making you squirm and sigh. His index finger was tracing patterns on your bare thigh, caressing and examining as if he’d never done it before, as if you were a made of glass. The sun had graced you with its appearance for the first time in weeks, and you wanted to enjoy the good weather as much as possible, so you had convinced Yoongi to lay on the grass by your side.

  “Tired of Miss Brontë already, love?” his velvety voice evinced his amusement.

  “Can’t read. You’re distracting me.”

  He chuckled lightly, delivering small puffs of air on the crook of your neck, and raised his head just enough to look at you, blocking the sunlight and making it possible for you open your eyes. Before he’d made his mission to disturb your concentration, you were reading for him, like people do with kids before they go to bed. It became a thing after the first time you did it, and now he picked a different book every week or so. When you’d asked about it, he just shrugged and declared that ‘It’s just nice. I like hearing you.’ This week, it was Wuthering Heights.

  “Continue, please,” he adjured, laying his head on your chest as a demonstration of good will. You grabbed the book you’d previously set aside and opened it, leaving one hand free to play with his locks.

  “That, however, which you may suppose the most potent to arrest my imagination, is actually the least, for what is not connected with her to me? and what does not recall her? I cannot look down to this floor, but her features are shaped on the flags. In every cloud, in every tree—filling the air at night, and caught by glimpses in every object by day, I am surrounded with her image. The most ordinary faces of men and women—my own features—mock me with a resemblance. The entire world is a dreadful collection of memoranda that she did exist, and that I have lost her.”

  His eyes were no longer closed, he was gazing at you.

  “Do you pity him?” he suddenly asked.

  “Heathcliff? I don’t.”

  He nodded slowly. “So, you think there’s no redemption, then?”

  “Not for him. He lived and died as an antagonist. Some might think his cruelty is just an expression of his frustrated love for Catherine, or that he conceals at least some virtue, a romantic heart. They expect him to be anything but what he constantly proves to be, they expect misunderstood heroes. But he himself acknowledges his sadistic nature.”

  He stood still, seeming to be lost in thoughts while tracing invisible patterns on your shoulder and refusing to meet your eyes.

  “Would you be able to love someone as tainted as him?” he asked wistfully.

  You lifted your upper body, compelling him to a sitting position as well.

  “I’ve never had to,” you pecked his lips chastely, even though he still kept his eyes trained on the grass underneath you. “Hey,” you dig your nails gently on the nape of his neck, asking for his attention. When he raised his head, the wrinkle between his eyebrows was there again. It worried you that, since he’s been back, it’s been a constant feature of his. Every now and then, his face twisted into an inscrutable grimace. “You understand, don’t you?”

  A half-hearted nod was your response, and he built up the mask to conceal his discomfort once again.

  “Enough vitamin D for you? I can’t stand the heat,” he grumbled.

  “Yeah,” you chuckled, pressing your lips to his forehead and standing up, stretching a helping hand. “Where do you want to go?”

  “My place.”

  Which was code for: Your mom is home and I want to pass out on my bed nuzzling you.

  “Whatever you want, grandpa.”

  “Be a brat and I’ll hit the throttle,” he threatened, positioning himself on top of his Triumph. Sometimes he took full advantage of just how dreadful you found his two-wheeled vehicle. And it always worked. You snorted, climbing on the back seat and wrapping your arms around him. “Hold tight, George.” His warning was delivered with amusement, but you knew better than to take it lightly.

  The fifteen-minute trip went as smoothly as it could, and even though you’d made sure to keep your eyes closed, you still felt dizzy and light-headed when he parked into the old building’s garage. He sensed your distress and got off the motorcycle slowly, careful when untangling you’re your arms from his waist and never completely breaking physical contact.

  “Open your eyes,” he murmured, one hand on the small of your back and the other placed on your hip. You took a deep breath and your eyelids tentatively fluttered. His lips brushed your right cheek as he effortlessly lifted you and put you down on the floor, covering the entirety of your hand with his and making a beeline for the elevator.  

  Yoongi’s apartment was on the fourth floor, which happened to be the last one – the building was a small, fading-yellow rectangle in the middle of a quiet neighborhood. In a way, it suited him. Secluded and discreet. Perfect for a misanthrope such as himself, given that you’d never even bumped into one of his neighbors – and you’d been visiting quite regularly. On another note, however, it was uncannily unpretentious for someone like him.

  He stopped for a moment on the front door, fumbling for the keys in his pocket. As soon as he opened it, you made your way to the couch, crashing with a sigh, face buried in the cushion. A minute had passed before he plopped on top of you, compelling a puff of air out of your lungs. You grumbled something about manslaughter, but the sound was muffled. He ignored you, making himself comfortable by nuzzling your neck and taking off his shoes using only his feet. You chuckled, making an effort to turn on your back so you could catch a breath.

  “Sleepy?” you asked, running your fingers through his hair. He hummed a response, content with your ministrations. “I, uh… have something to show you.”

  He raised his head from your throat, eyeing you curiously. “What is it?”

  “Bedroom,” you commanded.

  “Oh, I see,” he taunted, but stood up nonetheless. You rolled your eyes.

  You guided him to his room and closed the door behind you. He leisurely sat on the bed, waiting cautiously for you to proceed. You sucked in a deep breath, growing doubtful under his gaze. Pushing all insecurities aside, you unzipped your shorts.

  “Y/N, what are you doing?” he warned in a low-pitched, deep voice, orbs darkening considerably. You dismissed it, tiptoeing closer to him. He straightened his back and raised his eyes to meet yours, searching for any indication of what you intended to do. You pushed the waistband down, letting the piece of clothing pool on the floor, but he didn’t flinch, attention still focused on your features. When you hooked one finger on the hem of your white panties, he quickly snatched your wrist on a tight grip, brows knitting together. “I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with, baby. You know that, right?”

  Your chest swelled with warmth and affection. After the night he came back, things heated up a couple of times. Once he’d realized how tense and anxious you got at first, he began to hold back, withstanding your advances. You never verbalized anything, but he had a hunch, and pressuring you was definitely not on his to-do list. He was being respectful and caring, and although you shouldn’t accept nothing less, it made you feel safe. He made you feel safe, always.

  “Let me show you,” you murmured, a soft smile blooming on your face. He seemed puzzled, but ended up nodding warily. When you moved your finger, slightly pushing the fabric down to expose your hip, he finally had the guts to jeopardize his restraint and look down. You didn’t know what you expected his reaction to be, but that certainly wasn’t it.

  His breath hitched and he paled, eyes almost bulging out of their sockets. He didn’t move a single muscle, whole body tensing up. It was as if he couldn’t fully comprehend the sight before him, like he couldn’t believe. He composed himself soon enough, but you could still see the glint of shock in his eyes. It didn’t make any sense.

  “When did you get that?” his voice came out flat and a few octaves lower than usual.

  “A couple of weeks ago,” you frowned. The tattoo that marked your hip was now almost fully healed. You were doubtful in the beginning, but now you kind of grew fond of it. “What’s wrong?”

  “Do you know…” he cleared his throat, fingers twitching. “Do you know what it means?”

  “Not exactly,” you confessed sheepishly. “The tattoo artist said it was a religious symbol and… Truth be told, I’m not even sure why I did this. Just felt right,” you mumbled, realizing then that you probably sounded a tad out of it. You held your lip between your teeth, unsettled.

  “Yes. It’s the sigil of one of the seven archangels, love. It’s… Michael’s… sigil,” his jaw clenched, but his tone was now softer. “It’s used to invoke strength and protection. The ancients believed that, if you will it enough, he will be able to hear your prayers and, perhaps, be of assistance,” he laid his hand flat on your skin, stroking the symbol with his thumb, oblivious to the little jolts of electricity the simple gesture sent through your body. An unfamiliar mixture of dejection, despair and awe flashed through his onyx eyes, and you wondered what it was that he wasn’t telling you that could’ve possibly elicited such reaction.  

  “How do you know all that?” you wanted him to focus on something other than whatever it was that poisoned his thoughts.

  “Father taught me,” he shrugged.

  It’d been a while since he last mentioned his family. But you knew he was thinking about them whenever you saw the accentuated wrinkle every time he furrowed his brows, or when his muscles felt so tense to the touch that he was akin to marble against your skin. He was worried, he had been for a while now. And it scared you. You needed to know.

  “Yoongi…” the uncertainty that laced your tone made him squeeze your flesh encouragingly. “Where is he? Your dad.”

  “Home,” he stated tersely.

  “I know, but… Where is home? And what about your brothers? I know you said you don’t speak to them anymore, you just never explained why.”

  “We’ve already talked about this. They’re home, too. Y/N, just forget it,” he shook his head, avoiding your gaze.

  “Why do you build this wall between us every time? It’s frustrating. I can help-“

  “You can’t,” he deadpanned, breaking off any contact when he got up, making his way to the door. His demeanor screamed for you to back off, that he had no interest in continuing the conversation. But you were done being left in the dark.

  “Why is it so hard for you to trust me, huh?”

  “I already told you that it’s not a trust issue,” he raised his voice. “Why can’t you accept that I don’t want you to get caught up in the middle of my mess?”

  “Well, I am caught up in the middle of your mess!” you roared. “You were gone for an entire month and have been on edge ever since you got back. Something’s going on, I’m not stupid.”

  “Jesus Christ, Y/N,” a deep growl escaped his throat. “It’s none of your business, if we’re being honest here. They’re my problems, I’m the only one who can fix them – hell, not even that.”

  “If you could stop being such a jerk for a second, you’d realize that they became my problems, too, as soon as I fell in love with you. But you’re so far up your own ass that we can’t even discuss things without yelling at each other,” you spit the words. “Do you know what it’s like for me to watch you struggle like you’ve got the whole world on your shoulders? Especially when my hands are tied,” you stepped closer to his figure, heart hammering on your chest after your little speech. It was nothing but a whisper when you said, “You’re not alone, you idiot.”

  His whole expression softened, and you could recognize a faint smile on his velvety lips. Taking a deep breath, he closed the distance between the both of you and let his hand rest on the column of your neck.

  “I am an idiot,” he nodded, visibly calmer. “And you’re stubborn, you know that?”

  “Might have heard something about it,” you grumbled.

  He hummed. “Forgive me. Could you?”

  “Maybe. Will you… I mean, I just wish you’d open up a little. I’m scared, Yoongi,” you confessed.

  “Me, too.”

  “I know. That’s why.”

  He shook his head and lowered it until his skin touched yours. “I’m scared of your reaction, baby. I don’t know if you’ll want me once you discover the truth,” he murmured, more to himself than to you.

  “I’d say you’re safe. Unless your family is trying to coerce you into becoming a real life Michael Corleone. You didn’t shoot anyone in the head, did you?”

  He chuckled wholeheartedly and took a step back to maintain eye contact and mock you properly. “That’s your theory? That I’m a mobster?”

  You looked down sheepishly, before answering nonchalantly in a small voice, “One of them.” He couldn’t help himself, even though his hand was pressed tight against his mouth and his eyes were glistening with unshed tears of amusement. He tittered.

  “May I know the others?”

  “No,” you glared.

  “Oh, George, what if I ask nicely? What if I say please?”

  “Not even then.”

  “How about pretty please?” You shook your head, trying to pass through him to get to the kitchen, but he encircled his arms around you from behind before you could grasp the knob. “And what if I tell you that I am, too?” he breathed in the shell of your ear and you held your breath for a second. You didn’t need him to vocalize what you already knew, but you felt butterflies fluttering anyways. Still, you kept your ground, suddenly very conscious of the fact that your shorts were still pooled on the floor near the bed.

  “Closer, goodfella. But not enou-“

  The loud bangs on the front door cut you midsentence. You felt Yoongi’s body stiffen before something that sounded terribly similar to a low growl broke out of his throat.

  “Get dressed and stay here,” he ordered, authoritative. He didn’t spare you a glance before exiting the bedroom, and you felt a dreadful feeling claw up your insides, piercing your gut and making you nauseous. Pulse thrumming viciously under your skin, you fetched your shorts and wiggled it up, fastening the belt with shaky hands. Stop overreacting, you told yourself over and over, growing more anxious by the second. You couldn’t understand why, to be honest.

  Taking deep breaths, you forced your fidgety fingers to stay still as you fell limp on the soft mattress, eyes closed. Your mind wandered to the safe haven: cotton clouds and baby blue sky, the smell of the grass, the books scattered around you and him. For a minute, you could truly take the edge off. Until you heard the noise of glass shattering on the wall.

  Getting off the bed as fast as you could, your head spun. You opened the door quietly, careful not to expose the presence of another person in the house, and made a beeline to the kitchen. While you looked franticly for something that could be useful as a weapon, you tried to stay attentive to the sounds. They were muffled, but you could discern at least two voices, apart from Yoongi’s.

  Alright. Great.

  As any sane person who’s watched more than a few movies would do, you went for the most obvious choice. Knives. Better safe than sorry.

  Almost counting your steps, you tiptoed your way to the living room. The voices were not very loud, but you could easily understand what was being said now that you were closer.

  “It’s imperative that you return with us now,” a dulcet, almost high-pitched voice uttered softly. “I am sure you are aware of your responsibilities. It’s time.”

  You stayed hidden behind the icy-white wall that separated the two rooms, gripping the hilt of the knife so tightly that your knuckles turned white. Maybe you shouldn’t be eavesdropping, that was clearly a family matter. Maybe you should lock yourself in Yoongi’s bedroom and do as he said. But the truth was that you were far too curious – and now far too enchanted by the childlike voice – to stop yourself from prying.

  “I believe you have already forgotten about the current state of affairs, then? Father exempted me from my duties as soon as he banished me from the Gates and sent me to exile,” Yoongi spit. You could see it clearly in your head as he ran his fingers through his hair in annoyance. He sounded… different. You didn’t have the courage to tilt your head and steal a glance, afraid they’d catch the motion.

  “Father warned you about the consequences of your stubbornness, Michael, but you were very much unyielding in your misconceptions,” the second person said, gruffy and curt.

  “It is not a misconception to care for our own flesh and blood.”

  Wait. Michael? Had he been listening to your conversation earlier? If the man wasn’t so deadly serious and the air so dense, you would’ve laughed – although you felt that it was probably not the right time to let out a full-throated  guffaw to mask an anxiety attack.

  “Our own flesh and blood abused his role as a persecutor and bent the rules for his own selfish purposes. Azrael is fortunate if Father ever forgives him, albeit we both know he will. Brother, I know you hold the highest regards for truth and justice, but it was not your place to question an order.”

  You could hear the crude man pacing around the room as he spoke. Hoping to stay unnoticed, you sneaked a peek. The first person you landed eyes on was not at all taller than you, and you supposed that was the first man you’d heard. His hair was silvery, almost platinum blonde, styled in a way that evinced his beautiful forehead. The way he carried himself was elegant and graceful, like a ballerina, and his appearance suited his youthful voice perfectly. The second figure to catch your eye, though, was the complete opposite. Tall, lustrous olive skin and brown hair, he was intimidating at first glance. His steps were heavy on the floor, nearly clumsy.

  “Perhaps there lies the problem. We are never to question, even whilst we deem fit. Azrael is the embodiment of corruption and amorality; it’s consensual, we are well aware. No matter how devious, he is needed. Casting one of the Seven out ought to never be an option. Be that as it may… There are only five of us within the Gates now. Was I supposed to receive graciously the task of exiling our own brother?”

  You were growing considerably annoyed by their choice of words. Why the hell would they be talking like your great-grandparents? All cells in your body were telling you that it was supposed to be cringey, but in reality it was nothing but alluring. Charming. And that’s where all the annoyance came from.

  “It is unwise to go against His instructions. Are you a rebel at heart, Prince?” The man stopped his pacing to let the words tumble out of his mouth, venomous. You could tell by Yoongi’s countenance that he was about to lose his composure, and in a way you were yet to see. His body were trembling slightly in fury, and his lips were compressed together in a well-defined line. You were astounded, however, by his eyes. In that moment, you couldn’t move even if you intended to. They were tinted in a deep violet, just like you had seen before at Jin’s encounter, except that, this time, they hadn’t gone back to black.

  “This has nothing to do with the Rebellion, Raph-“

  “Then why disobey? Do you plan to defy Father as well? It would be entertaining to watch you fight your antithesis for the throne of the underworld,” he chuckled.

  It all happened in an instant, but for you it felt like slow motion. Yoongi was convulsing within himself, as if attempting to refrain a great deal of energy from breaking free. Once you saw blood oozing from his closed fists, you knew it was a lost battle. But never, ever, could you have foreseen what came next, what kind of energy – power – exactly he was trying to repress. For a very brief moment, everything stood still. If you had been able to avert your eyes from him, you’d see the silvery-hair figure shudder. You’d see the faint smirk on the lips of the man who caused Yoongi’s outburst, even though he was, deep down, a tad terrified. But you did not have time, nor will-power, to pay attention to anyone but him, ablaze amethysts shooting daggers at the man before them.

  Then everything came crashing down. Your beliefs, the world as you knew it, it was all taken away ruthless and abruptly once you saw white feathers rip through black shirt. You gasped audibly, falling to the floor with a dull thud as the knife clinked at your feet. None of them noticed, too entranced by the interaction that unrevealed itself. Yoongi got to his prey at an unhuman speed, grabbing him by the throat and caging him against the door. The horrid sound was enough to make you wince through your stupor, and, if it were anybody else, their skull would have cracked. The man, however, only clenched his jaw to suppress a whimper.

  “How dare you speak ill of your Leader like this?” as his voice went down a few octaves, Yoongi’s hold tightened visibly. The man-child seemed as ready to meddle as he would ever be, though still too frightened to actually move. “How dare you, brother, mention the Chief of the Heavenlies in the same breath as his nemesis? Mere one hundred and fifty years, Raphael, and you already built the temerity of being impertinent towards me? Or have you simply forgotten who I am?” his wings were whooshing, as if he was preparing to – quite literally – take flight at any given moment. They were stupendous, bigger than he himself, and so snowy-white, so untainted. Truly immaculate, contrasting with his raven hair.

  His angelic features, albeit glorious, could never outstand the magisterial way to which he spoke, imposing authority. Like he was born for it. Everything about him in that moment urged you to bow before his feet, and you weren’t even the one holding his darkened glare. It was entirely alien to you, a facet of him you could barely conceive, let alone process. Raphael undoubtedly recoiled at his words, but tried to conceal it.

  “Then show me. Do your title justice and lead us to victory, as I know there is no wrath nor passion greater than yours. Not for a moment have I forgotten who you are, Flaming Warrior, but you certainly have.” Raphael spoke, and it fell to the ears like a prayer.

  As Yoongi’s wings retracted once again, you breathed what seemed to be the first intake of air in hours. He slackened his grip on Raphael’s throat, who then bent over in a fit of coughing. The boyish man’s shoulders visibly relaxed, and he let out a sigh. Of course, the little truce was bound to be broken the minute one of them laid eyes on you. It happened to be the blonde.

  “Michael, there is a human on your floor,” he whispered, resembling a kid more than ever with his eyes wide open. “Why is there a human on your floor?” he snapped his head, shooting the question directly to Yoongi’s face, and you saw his body stiffen. “Oh, Father! She’s heard our names! Brother…”

  “Silent,” his voice was gruff, and he turned to scrutinize your figure. You weren’t sure of how you looked from the view of an outsider, but you felt… Shock, maybe? Fright? You didn’t know who and what was in front of you, and all you could think was how come his eyes are pitch black now?

  “Yoongi, we violated the law,” the man you now identified as Raphael said.

  “Namjoon,” his eyes never left you as he spoke, “take our brother home and certify yourself that he does not mention today’s events within the Gates.”

  “B-But the protocol-“

  “Does not apply to her, Jimin-ah,” Yoongi cut him off, “If you still need me to fight by your side, that is.”

   He seemed appalled by the perspective of that being an option. “Needless to say, brother, of course we do!”

  “That means I am in charge, then. So, at your superior’s orders, will you be able to keep this to yourself?” Yoongi craned his neck to glance at them through his peripheral vision.

  “If it is what you want, brother,” he mumbled, averting his gaze to the floor in respect.

  “Well, that being the case, I fear we might have to end this dreadful visit already. Notify our soldiers that I am to be expected soon.”

  “Yes, sir,” Raphael responded with a worried frown tainting his beautiful face. He touched the cherubic-like man on the shoulder and they both left the apartment.

  Yoongi’s feet were glued to the floor, the same spot he’d been standing since landing eyes on you. Your breathing was labored and hitched; your throat so dry that it felt like sandpaper. He took a little step forward, slowly stretching one hand in your direction. You let out a low whimper, recoiling until you were almost balled up, knees pressed tight against your chest. He immediately withdrew his arm and flinched.

  “I told you to stay in the bedroom.” His voice was flat, it wasn’t a scold.

  “W-What- What the hell just-“ a sob broke through your throat, and only then did you notice hot tears striking your cheeks. “Y-Yoongi,” you weren’t sure of what to say, let alone if you were actually able to choke a whole sentence out.

  “Are you afraid?”

  Yes.

  Fuck, yes.

  Were you afraid of him, though? Granted, his whole countenance while exerting power over someone else sent chills through down your spine. But that was not the man standing before you now, no.

  “Who are you?” you asked, trying too hard to keep a clear head.

  He straightened his back. “My true name is Michael,” he muttered.

  “You know that’s not what I asked,” you objected.

  “Yes,” he sighed, “I know. Can you keep an open mind?”

  “An open mind?” you scoffed. “I’m here, aren’t I? After seeing a pair of wings growing out of your shoulder blades.”

  “You are,” he chuckled humorlessly. He then walked tentatively in your direction, sitting on the floor as well when he deemed close enough. “I’m one of the Seven.”

  Your face twisted in confusion. Your brain was trying to deny what your subconscious already knew. “Go on.”

  “My brothers and I… we are one of Father’s first creations. Have you ever heard of the seven archangels, George?”

  “Yeah,” your voice was nearly inaudible.

  “It’s easier for you to understand, then. We are responsible for maintaining harmony in Heaven. That, occasionally, includes keeping things in order between the Gates and Earth,” he paused, searching for anything in your face that would require him to stop. “I am… let’s say, of great importance to keep the balance between our worlds, including the nether regions. You might have already gathered that I’m their leader, so to speak. I am in charge of all heavenly troupes, every single one of Father’s soldiers is under my command, as well as I am under His. In times of war, I am indispensable. That’s why they call me Warrior Prince; amongst other things.”

  “So it’s… all real?” your voice almost cracked. “Hell, heaven… God?”

  “Pretty much, yeah.”

  “Then why are you here?” you murmured under your breath and his expression darkened.

  “Immortality can make you petty. Do you remember meeting Azrael? I guess you know him as Jin. Azrael is… unique. Known as the Persecutor, he was the first reaper to ever exist – created before I was, even. He harvests human souls in due time and delivers them to a realm that suits them best. Paradise, Purgatory or Hell. My brother can be misunderstood very easily; his job has brought to the surface a sadistic persona. We all deal with evil from time to time, it was born in our home, but… Azrael is death, it’s a heavy burden to carry. Infinite lifetimes dealing with the worst sentiments a human can ever experience is bound to leave some scars. He can be mischievous and quite a pain in the ass, to be honest,” he huffed, “but his loyalty is admirable. So, when he made an egocentric mistake, Father reunited us all to discuss the best course of action. Much like a trial, if you will. The point is: they banished him to live amongst his… victims for a certain period of time. I could never agree to that, I believe every single one of the Seven serves a purpose, we are all needed to maintain natural balance.”

  “So you rebelled?”

  “No,” he scowled. “I’m not a rebel, I’m… a nonconformist.”

  “It’s the same thing.”

  “Not for us, it’s not.”

  “Okay. Then what happened?”

  “It’s a long story, if you want me to explain it correctly.”

  “I do. And you’re everlasting, so I bet we have some time to spare.”

  “Right,” he snorted. “My people is a bit traumatized when it comes to defiance, you probably know why.”

  “Because of the devil, right?”

  “Lucifer deeply despises all of his nicknames. But yeah, he’s the reason. A very long time ago, Father decided to expand our family. My brothers and I were content, but when He presented the idea of more… more of us, more love, we agreed on the spot. See, He was never, ever, the tyrant your kind makes him to be. Until Lucifer, that is. He was… exquisite, my brother. From his birth, each and every angel to exist used to say that Father got inspired by me when creating him, but in a very distinctive way. As much as possible, we were the flip side of each other, although extremely similar still, if that makes sense. With time, our bond grew stronger; we became inseparable. Almost everything we did was in each other’s company: from training in the fields to reading manuscripts under the sunlight. My brothers and I didn’t have much to worry about, it was a very peaceful existence. We had not come to know sin yet.

   Needless to say, it did not last. Because we were oddly alike and yet so different, comparisons were nearly inevitable. I didn’t mind them back then, so I thought he would never take it to the heart either. I was wrong. Lucifer distanced himself slowly but surely, and with each passing day, he tried harder to triumph over me in a childish competition, one that existed strictly in his head. He’d become resentful, and his animosity soon spread like wildfire towards the others, too. None of us were able to comprehend a feeling we had never experienced ourselves, so it took us years to make sense of the situation. By the time we did… I guess it was already too late.

   When Father created your kind, the hierarchy became even more apparent: only us, the archangels, were allowed to interact with humans – even so, only to a certain degree and always serving a purpose. Father wished your… species to stay untouched by our graces. Masterpieces, as long as kept apart, he had said. You see, your people got it terribly wrong. Lucifer was never jealous of humans – in fact, he holds deep contempt for them. He was jealous of us, of me, because my new responsibilities evinced that we had different roles on the chain of command. If rancor was his first sin, fury came to be the second. He endeavored to make a point of how unfair it was of Father to ‘play favorites’ and provide the Seven with greater might. My brother was a very shrewd, intelligent being, but his envy made him blind to a lot of things.

  Lucifer used the following years to spread his beliefs right under our noses, and therefore was able to gather a herd of angels who succumbed to blatant lies just as much as he did. That was the beginning of the rebellion. His ability to lead was remarkable, but he could never be a true leader – not that he intended to, anyway. The reason is pretty obvious: my brother did not care the least about those under his directions, they were means to an end. His main goal was to dethrone the Seven, and for that he forged a deadly weapon: the flaming sword. The uprising initiated a war that none of us were ready for, not even him. For seven days, we fought. For seven days, we continuously killed our own. I suppose you already know the end to that story.”

   You were so fascinated by his narrative that you’d already forgotten the reason he brought up the subject.

  “I think so,” you said. “The real thing is actually so… different from everything I’ve ever heard.”

  “I know. Tales never accomplish the whole truth.”

  “But what does that have to do with the reason you’re here?”

  “Like I said, my kind does not tolerate defiance after everything that happened. When Azrael was sentenced, I didn’t exactly make an effort to hide how I felt about it. They didn’t take it very well, so if you ask any of them why I was exiled, they’ll say it was for disobedience. When, in fact, it was because I reminded them too much of him,” he sighed, and you both fall into a pregnant pause. “How are you taking this?”

  “I’m not sure. I guess I just didn’t have enough time to process yet.”

  “I know,” he twisted a strand of your hair in his slender index finger.

  All of a sudden, a realization fell heavy on your heart.

  “Is your time up?”

  His brows knitted themselves together. “My time?”

  “Yeah. You said you’d stay here… for a predetermined amount of time. Is that why they came to get you?”

  “No, George,” he let out a puff of air from his nose, “that’s not why they came for me.”

  “Then why?”

  “Think about it. Why would they need their General for?”

  You shook your head, trying to make sense of what he was telling you. Oh.

  “You said you were indispensable in times of…” your whisper faded to an end.

  “War,” he completed.

    ||\\

                                                                                                                                  “While they adore me on the throne of hell,

With diadem and sceptre high advanced

The lower still I fall, only supreme

In misery; such joy ambition finds.

But say I could repent and could obtain

By act of grace my former state; how soon

Would height recall high thoughts, how soon unsay

What feigned submission swore: ease would recant

Vows made in pain, as violent and void

For never can true reconcilement grow

Where wounds of deadly hate have pierced so deep:

Which would lead me to a worse relapse

And heavier fall: so should I purchase dear

Short intermission bought with double smart.”

      There was a thin layer of snow covering the streets once again. The friction between the tires and the asphalt was barely there, and if the circumstances were different, that would be your main concern. The wind howled as you cut through it like bullets, and you tightened your embrace around his waist, somehow enjoying the numbing air of a cold late-afternoon. Eyes wide opened this time. When he finally parked in front of the porch, you quickly hopped down and took the helmet off, placing it in the seat you had previously taken. Before you could say or do anything, Yoongi seized your wrist with a leather-gloved hand.

  “I’m positively opposed to this,” he blurted in a last attempt to change your mind.

  “I know.” You tried to free yourself from his iron grasp, but to no avail. It was getting easier to read his features, and you could tell he was still unsure. But you were not. “Yoongi, it’s my call.”

  “Don’t I have a say in it?”

  “Ultimately… no.”

  “Want you to be safe, that’s all. Let us be reasonable about this, why don’t you?”

  “I thought you understood better than anyone that I don’t get to be reasonable about this,” you sighed with impatience. “Please, I—”

  “Okay,” he loosened his grip. “I’ll wait here.”

  “Okay.”

  The light was off in the living room, your mother wasn’t home yet. You told yourself that it was better this way. Making a beeline to the stairs, you went over the little list in your head once again before entering your bedroom.

  Set of clothes, toothbrush, toothpaste, laptop… What else?

  You looked around, the baby-blue walls somehow mocking you, an excruciating reminder of simpler times. Memories of your childhood swirled inside your mind. All the times you and Taehyung would play hide and seek, the squeals he’d let out whenever you caught him off guard, how he was certainly faster than you, but would let you win a childish race every now and then. The familiar scent of caramel and coffee roaming around the house in the wee small hours of the morning after movie nights, your mom’s chocolate chip pancakes for lunch on Sundays. It all felt like a lifetime ago.

  Hauling your backpack across your shoulder, you had a weird feeling that that was it. That was goodbye. Although Yoongi had promised you’d be back safe and sound in a couple of days, you knew things could go wrong. It was a pondered decision; you were aware of the risks, he’d made sure of it. Still, leaving his side when there was a real possibility that he might not get out alive was just… not conceivable. Logically, you understood that, if things went south, you would not be able to do much. You did not care much for logic these days, anyway.

                                     [Cheers Darlin’, by Damien Rice]

  Stepping out of the room and shutting the door as quietly as possible—for no apparent reason—you hopped downstairs two steps at a time, making sure to avoid staring at other parts of the house that could trigger another episode of nostalgia. Too focused on the task of trying not to focus, you missed the six feet tall barricade blocking the entrance to the living room, crashing into it face-first. If it wasn’t for the unrelenting grip keeping you in place, you would’ve certainly hit the floor.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” the flat baritone voice resonated throughout the empty space.  

  Of course. You closed your eyes tightly, taking a deep breath before even contemplating lifting your head to make eye contact.

  “Do you need something?” in a poor attempt to shield yourself, you parroted his dead intonation.

  “Do I need something,” he hummed. Then he chuckled, fists clenching around your forearms. “Are you leaving?” he spat. “What about your mom, huh?”

  “It’s just a couple of days. I’ll call her.”

  By the scowl plastered on his face, your dismissive attitude hadn’t worked the way you planned it to. You had to do this quick, like ripping off a bandage. If anyone could give you a run for your money in this situation, that would be Taehyung. You knew he’d try to persuade you into staying, so you couldn’t risk it. For both your sakes.

  “I see,” he remarked. “Were you planning to tell me you’re running off with your boyfriend or you’d just leave me to figure it out on my own?”

  His venomous words burned out of his mouth at lightning speed, tainting his tongue with a pungent aftertaste.

  “You know I would never do something like that,” the hurt that laced your voice was evident, but, maybe for the first time, it didn’t make him feel half as bad as it should.

  “Do I?” he scoffed. “For the past few months, it feels like you’ve already left. Wouldn’t make much of a difference if you actually did, I guess.”

  That did it. You felt tears well up in your eyes, but you were determined to not let them fall.

  “Okay, I’m not doing this,” you whispered, not trusting your voice enough to speak properly, and pulled your arms out of his grasp roughly. You darted for the closed front door, feeling sick to your stomach at the thought of spending another minute inside the house. He clutched your shirt tightly, as if it was a lifeboat.

  “Wait,” his fists clenched tighter. You could sense him getting closer, but you didn’t have the guts to turn around and face him just yet. He buried his face on your right shoulder, holding your hip now, nails bound to leave little crescent moons on your skin. “M’sorry,” he mumbled. “I hate this.”

  Your heart ached. You hated it, too. Pushing Taehyung away was never your intention, but you finally came to understand all the times Yoongi had kept a safe distance before. To keep you safe. You couldn’t risk it, not with Marzipan.

  “It’s fine, Tae.”

  “It’s not,” he shook his head, brushing his nose on the fabric of your blouse. Inhaling deeply, he moved to the nape of your neck. You shuddered. “None of this is fine,” a peck on the bare skin of your neck, and your entire body tensed.

  “Taehyung…” you warned.

  “Don’t,” he begged, turning you around. You were adamant on avoiding his gaze, so your eyes kept darting between your feet and your hands. “Don’t go.”

  While he rested his forehead on yours, one hand on your cheek and the other thumbing your collarbone, you knew what was about to happen. You knew, and, still, you couldn’t bring yourself to stop him. You knew, but it was Taehyung, your best friend. Marzipan, the little boy from the house next door. Boxy smile, disheveled hair, sweet-toothed Taehyung. How wrong could it be? You were saying goodbye to a part of your own soul. How wrong could it be?

  When his lips touched yours, soft and ravenous, you really wanted it to feel right. But the answer to your previous question was: too wrong. You loved him, yes. But he wasn’t him. Didn’t taste the same, didn’t feel the same. His movements weren’t slow yet demanding, his hand wasn’t drawing invisible patterns on your lower back, his smell wasn’t musky enough. It just didn’t feel right.

  “Tae,” you tried to end the kiss, but he led his mouth back to yours like in a trance, nibling on your lower lip. “Taehyung, stop!”

  By the end of it, you were both panting. It dawned you how big of a mistake you had just made, and guilt made you nauseous. Neither of them deserved what you’d just done, neither of them deserved to have their hearts broken because you were such a fuck up.

  “I-I’m so sorry, Tae,” your voice cracked. He was about to answer, but you didn’t want to hear it. You couldn’t breathe, your skin was on fire and there was a big, nasty lump in your throat. You bolted out the door, only to be met with Yoongi’s inquiring gaze. It seemed to have broken a damn, and heavy tears tumbled down your cheeks. He rushed to meet you halfway, brushing the tears away as soon as his hands reached your face.

  “Hey,” he shushed you. “What happened, baby?”

  “Can we go home, please?”

 The crease between his furrowed eyebrows deepened, but still, he chose not to pry any further.

  “Of course, love. Of course we can,” he softly muttered, although still hesitant to take his hands off you.

  You climbed onto the familiar grey motorcycle and hid your damped cheeks on his jacket. The beast rumbled, gaining speed as you cut through the air. The ghost of Taehyung’s lips on yours haunting you the entire way back.