#it makes me want to escape my body
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#i had kinda assumed we all just silently suffer#its so uncomfortable#but uh surely that means its necessary right#and we just have to endure it#unless other people find it ergonomic?????#it makes me want to escape my body#the angle is so bad for my neck#and the pressure around my face is inescapable#someone else pls weigh in#tumblr polls
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As soon as I got done drawing the refences for my Slime Rancher submas AU, I turned right around and got to work on Ingo's disappearance arc XDD
I'm thinking how the story goes is Ingo, Emmet and Elesa came to the far far range out of their love and interest in the slimes that live there. They truly had a passion for this planet and wanted to explore and learn everything about it.
Now Elesa was super invested in the gadgets and life on the ranch, while Ingo and Emmet were big on the exploration side of things..
One day while the brothers were out exploring they discovered a new area covered in curvy pink trees..
For a while they explored together, but at some point they split up. Looking back Emmet doesn't even remember why they separated.. he wishes he never left Ingo's side..
About an hour passed when Emmet started look for Ingo. When he couldn't find him right away he tracked him on his Rotom. Following the signal he found a hole in the ground leading to an enormous cave..
At the bottom of the cave laid Ingo's abandoned Rotom, and a trail of blood leading to an old broken teleporter.. Ingo was nowhere to be found..
...
I would love to draw more for this AU right away! Though it might be wise to take it easy somewhat. This was a lot more drawing and backgrounds than I'm use to.. 😅😅 Either way don't worry! An Ingo and Emmet reunion hug is on its way! XDD
#pokemon legends arceus#slime rancher#ingo and emmet#elesa pokemon#submas#nimbasa trio#tw blood#tw injury#I thought about doing grey backgrounds at first#but slime rancher is so colorful and beautiful so I wanted to give it my best shot.. 🥺🥺#I was also going to do it in pixel but I quickly realized that was going to take at least 80 years so opted for my OG style <XDD#I loved drawing the body language for poor Emmet#these bros can never escape the trauma no matter what AU they're put in 💀#Someone commented on the refs :how can you make slime rancher angsty?#girl watch me XDD
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Oh hey what about a groundhogs day event where the hero has to relive their traumatic “One Bad Day”-esque backstory but it’s another hero they either know really well and the only way to break the loop is letting that horrible event happen
Bc I’m basic my first thought was “Oh, this would absolutely tear up anyone having to walk down crime alley knowing way too well what’s about to happen”
But I’m also obsessed with my blorbo so my other thought was “Omg lol, imagine if one of the adult heroes ended up in Billy’s body just before his parents left to go die on their dig and think maybe they can save their co-worker the tragedy he faced so young only for every attempt they succeed at getting them to stay keep the loop going and they realize they have to let them go and doom this kid all over again. Haha, extra points if the loop actually lasts from that point to them actually dying so they wake up the next day thinking they failed again only for it to be tomorrow and suddenly Uncle E gets the call that his brother and sister in law are dead and then whoever is in Billy’s body is getting thrown out with a suitcase realizing maybe the nightmare is going to last longer.”
And I just had to laugh bc goddamn my brain cant stop with angst
#‘DC stop making Billy miserable’ I say into the mic#‘I can make it worse’ says my brain ready to swing at the orphan with a sledge hammer#Groundhog Day but body swap basically#even funnier if they DONT know their fellow hero but still realizes the warning flags and tries to save them only to keep waking up#that tragedy of knowing what’s going to happen to someone you care about but the only way to escape is to let it happen#also just the jarring shift back to childhood for a lot of these heroes#other ideas being stuff like one Robin dealing with Dicks One Bad Day doing all they can to save his parents#someone dealing with the day Clark lost his parents/Pa specifically as his Bad Day bc he was too baby for the whole Krypton thing#maybe even a villain/antagonist trying to stop their hero from existing but just ending up sympathetic#then when the day is over they are through a whole character arc and don’t even want to fight anymore bc ‘I am so sorry for your loss’#vice versa too since villains have their Bad Days too#if this has been done for DC please tell me so I can go feral over this idea#dc#billy batson#shazam#batman#fanfic inspo#fanfic ideas#groundhog day#dc comics
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have you read DMMD or do you occasionally aobapost just for the meme?
and if you did, who's your favorite character?
oh I don't actually read visual novels, it's kind of a common misconception, but I just click through them and absorb the information so I can make posts
also unfortunately I like koujaku, but he's tied with noiz usually
#disregard what it says in the body of the post my actual answer is Clear and it's not even close#I just wanted to maintain the respect of my insane mutuals and to pretend to have nuanced taste#and also to make sure that the version of this post that could theoretically escape containment wouldn't be me saying 'oh I like Clear'
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the line between ten's senses of selfishness and selflessness is very very thin because they both primarily stem from his sense of love (the thing he was born out of and the thing he lives and dies for). btw.
#not to make it about time lord victorious again but like#he is so sick of losing people (i can still save these people that need my help)#and he is so sick of losing people (i cannot bear the heartbreak for any longer and if i break history to alleviate myself of it so be it)#ten is suuch a little freak he is so wretched tragic protagonist in the body of a funny whimsy dude#experiencing heart rending loneliness that he bounces from wanting to escape from and wanting to cling to bc its all he has#this dichotomy is so important to me. he has a sense of love and grief so befitting a human but so unbefitting for a#near immortal alien destined to bring harm and destruction wherever they go.#thesis statement. hes . fuckin.. uh. trans and aroace for this one lol if you get it you get it ig#tenth doctor#dr who#my brain is melting over this LOSER why did david tennatn have to do all of that#10 era
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every day i struggle to make choices
#i should invest into some kind of education but cant make up my mind#mostly because options suck#i cant do trades unless my body sucks less which is sad because id love to be an electrician#cant even think about getting a pilots license cuz im not passing the med cert#i think id rather die than be a med assistant actually#working clinics at all makes me nervous tbh but probably where im headed in the short term#surgical tech would be cool but i cant do a Real program while working full-time#which is what limits most of my choices#i need to find more paid training programs i guess#if i had to pick a miserable but fulfilling job id go into education itself#but the teaching profession has always been in a downward spiral esp as of late#i dont want healthcare because i hate seeing dysfunctional glorified murder machines grinding around and around endlessly#acute care sucks id rather be in an icu for function but then im depressed because our patients are always dying#it was better as a phleb but this hospital doesnt have phleb and like i said im nervous about clinics#but i need to fucking commit to outpatient phlebotomy i think :/#the most fun ive had at a job ever#i wish i had more widely applicable skills but i cant be an emt/para even just for the training#because half of it is unpaid and the other half you pay for#and again#a job NOTORIOUS for being exhausting dangerous and traumatizing#if i was 17 again and wasnt escaping the tar pit of my mother id go for an english degree and i wouldnt even regret it#thinking about school in terms of a job i have to have forever vs for the sake of learning is so different#id like to know everything. i wanna read and write forever. and do research and have real technical skills that help people#im still riding off of the high of getting 5 ccs off of an oncology patient who desperately needed a port#they were able to run like seven tests off of it#i had to use a couple ped tubes#she only had to get poked Once and barely noticed it bc the doc team came in and im so happy i made her admission that muvh easier#labs are so miserable#checking back on the blood and seeing all of the results came through made me more pleased than anything else in the world
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awesome. ive had Nightmares two nights in a row now
#my whole family was murdered except for my brother who managed to escape#i was dead. i was very much shot in the face and killed#i also nesrly escaped but one of the guys saw me and asked if i wanted it to be painless.#i said 'just do it from here please. please dont make me come to you.'#and then pov switched to following my brother.and i eventually realized it was me following him#i just remember thinking i have to watch over him. i have to make sure he stays alive. i have to make sure he doesnt kill himself.#then i remember my body being.. semi autopsied ? people after the murder were looking over my body. at my teeth and gums. my hands.#i was concious as this was happening. i was rhinking how i cant just 'wake up' right now#but i eventually did when they went to look at the rest of my family's bodies. and i guess i left to find my brother for Real#i met a kid at a seven eleven who was talking about raggedy ann dolls to me. i like. wasnt all bloody and Bullet Holed anymore#but i remember thinking'why isnt she scared of all the blood on me'#i kinda woke up after that#idk. its early 1 am now. that sucked. goodnight for real.#first one was just my dad being a dickhead and disrespecting 1 my time and 2 my physical boundaries Sitting too close to me and guilting me#over ‘making him feel bad’ over both those things#dream journal
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self indulgent got concept.
Ned brings Jon home, Cat hates the boy, everything stays the same... until Robert Baratheon is charging through the halls of Winterfell looking for the babe, ready to butcher the poor thing where he lay helpless in his cradle.
in a matter of moments Catelyn learns three things:
The babe was never a bastard, Ned had only lied to her to protect Jon, and that she would die before she let Robert lay a finger on the babe she'd previously wished death upon.
cue Catelyn Stark snatching Jon from his cradle, holding him, protecting him, loving him as she would her own son, risking it all to keep him safe, all care for herself thrown to the wind.
like they say, what a mother's love holds no bounds, and what it makes her capable of had no limits.
#listen listen listen#I just want Catelyn to love Jon Snow and I don't care what I ahve to do to make it happen#(plus the angst is delicious)#I was rewatching old kids movies and ended up watching ice age and idk why but the mom sacrificing herself for her babe gave me ideas#I just imagine young Cat holding onto the boy she hated and wished death on for being bastard (only to find out he wasn't one) as tightly-#as she could. knowing Robert and his men were coming. knowing they would slaughter the boy in front of her. knwoing she'd wished for this-#and deciding she'd give her own life to protect him if thats what it came to.#and in my mind she jumped from the window of the nursery knowing the halls will be filled with the kings men and leave little chance for-#escape. before fleeing on injured legs to hide the babe and herself knowing Robert would be right behind her. she's in agony. but she'll-#going for the babes sake. she won't stop until her heart is dead in her chest. even if it hurts to move and breath and think he keeps going#maybe she takes a horse and flees wintefell all together. maybe she hides somewhere in/around the castle. maybe Robert catches her?#if she runs with him she'd have nothing but the clothes on her back. she'd have to feed him and keep him warm. she'd have left her own son-#behind. the potential angst and hurt/comfort as Cat misses her own son and learns to love another. feeding him and keeping him warm from-#her own body while she's injured and lost and at the will of the elements of the strange new place she now considered calling home#idk I just think it'd be an interesting concept#there's something about a mother and her child being cornered by 'wolves' (in this case a stag). this has the added spice of Cat and Jon's-#dynamic. just earlier that day she could barely look at him and now she's willing to die for him. the change happened in seconds.#that was a lot of ranting in the tags. oops. anyway...#catelyn stark#jon snow#I love putting these two in harrowing. life altering. and/or traumatic situations so they can finally just be mother and son#I live for the angsty family feels#got#game of thrones#asoiaf
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omg like imagineeeee singing your heart out to a sad song — not because you could relate, but because the vocals are just magical and mha boyd are just ??? because last time the checked you and him were on excellent terms. so why are you dancing around talkkjng about “i dont think you ever loveddd meee” by tyrese , he literally just sat there and helped you with your hair, while uttering softly about how much he literally adores your entire existence????
or you hanging off the armrest of the couch, arm thrown over your eyes singing climax. but its not your fault that your playlist decided to play these songs ??? and how were you supposed to know he was back home you thought he left ??? now he’s thinking about the past 30 minutes trying to see if he did something wrong, thinking about how he might have accidentally pulled your hair or forgot about something and is just huffy about it until you tell him you just like the singers voice, and he didnt do nothing wrong
the softer babies who were on the verge of tears cause they really thought some thing bad happened 🥺🥺. you hear a sniffle and rumble arounf trying to turn the music down at least and get to your man tk see whats wrong. you holding him while he bhries his head in your chest and wraps around you scared of you leaving 🥺🥺 promising that he loves you and he sorry for what he did 🥺🥺🥺🥺.
nd ofc you’re laughing while you pepper his face with kisses cause how could he ever think you couldn’t love him ??
ughh.. im just thinking about it yk request are open
#bakugou mean ass would get all mad and huffy mumbling underneath his breath and shit#i feel like izuku could go ethier wayyyy#you cant tell me his ass dont got a smart mouth from hanging around bakugou#so he would probably talk shit too but he still got tgat cry baby in him so a fee tears might escape#serooooo my love my love my loveee#he would be so hurt💔💔#i would be on my kneesssss apologizing😭😭#kiri sould be hurt in the moment then laugh it off later#but still make sure to reassure my bby 💗💗#poor amajiki just wanted to see what you wanted to eat and this what he walks in too?💔#he felt his soullll leave his body😭😭#bitch unt unt APOLOGIZE#seeing him cry would make me and cry and we would both just be crying 😭#you would go and move your sad songs to separate playlist cause this CANNOT happen again#.chasingtheclouds☁️#mha fluff#mha imagines#bakugou katuski x reader#amajiki x black reader#izuku x black reader#mha sero#mha amajiki#mha kirishima#mha denki#mha shinso hitoshi#.mha sleep talks 💤
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#a wonderful day turned into a horrific night#i am freaking out#i was staying with a friend#a really good friend and i love them so much#i truly do but their home is infested and I don’t do well with bugs#i tried my hardest to spend the night but there were bugs all over me and i just couldn’t take it#and it was freaking me out#to the point where i think i had a panic attack#so i ordered a uber to go home#in the middle of the night#and i can still feel the fucking roaches on my skin#and I’m breathing real hard in my uber trying to keep it together#and i feel so awful about it#bc i didn’t wake them up to tell them i was leaving#i was honestly just thinking about escape#but i know it’s gonna hurt their feelings which i don’t want to do#but i just can’t sleep in a place where bugs are gonna crawl all over me like#one of my biggest fears is a bug crawling inside my body via my ears or nostrils or whatever#so i just ran#and i feel like that makes me a bad person…#i’m just having a really bad night rn#and could use a hug or three
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I need new undergarments. Which is like. My personal hell as a fat enby with sensory issues & slightly hindered mobility. Spent some time today digging through page after page of google search trying to find something &...
Look, I'm just saying. Whoever keeps deciding to list their brands as "size inclusive" & "plus size" when their largest size is a women's 14?
I think fat people should be allowed to hunt them for sport.
#I found exactly nothing that fits my needs.#After several hours of looking.#Actually I take that back.#I found ONE place that has what I want#but they work on a FUCKING SUBSCRIPTION SERVICE#instead of as an ACTUAL FUCKING STORE#I am not paying $60 a month for the privilege of buying your clothes.#I DON'T CARE if that includes a once per month credit towards clothes.#straight up laughing like a mad lad as I tell Birdfriend about this#because the only other option is laying on the ground & crying#I am so fucking done with with clothing companies#just acting like fat people don't exist/don't wear clothes#'cause you know every single fucking person there#would be so offended if any bit of skin showed on a fat person#(The secret is that they think that fat people aren't actually people.)#(& that fat folks have zero right to exist.)#Frankly I'm at the point where I would honestly just try sewing my own clothes#Just to avoid having to deal with clothing manufacturers/stores#But no one makes patterns in my size either so.#Love how no matter how much I work towards body neutrality#I cannot escape the fact that the world doesn't want me in it#Purely for losing the genetic lottery#& ending up with a large body.
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the amount of things my brain has inserted hualian into at this point is astounding. tloz. pmmm. ffx. the epic of gilgamesh. More
#in pmmmverse hua cheng is some kind of fucked up sapient witch amalgamation.#also jun wu is kyubey ahahahahaha#in my final fantasy ten brainworld the story gets more changed up than pmmm bc in pmmm is very easy to draw the madoka-xl homura-hc paralle#but anyways hong'er volunteers to be a guardian for summoner princelian's pilgrimage and eventually winds up#becoming a fayth & princelians final aeon; only; something goes very wrong at the last second and xl is not able to go up against sin#his other guardians mu qing and feng xin leave him too:) and in the end he has nothing but hong'ers petrified body and a broken destiny#i want hc to fuse with sin like jecht does in the original game but since xl doesnt fight sin his final aeon never gets summoned to do that#but honestly its in character for hc to defy reason and the laws of reality for his god anyways so#hong'er gets so upset at witnessing his princes fall from grace from beyond the veil he implodes and half summons himself<3#only he looses it a little and ends up exploding the ruins of zanarkand and most of everything else around him and himself#when he tries to rip sin and/or jun wu into little shreds#get it. like the birth of wu ming#anyways in the resulting destruction xianle is presumed dead oh no:( jun wu escapes injured and is like#oh no!!! the battle with sin was fierce.... its so sad that xie lian died and also failed to defeat it.... that was crazy aha anyways#xie lian swears off summoning for a very very long time after that. hes busy roaming the countryside and pretending to cope mostly#he keeps hong'ers stone tablet with him. hong'er/wu ming/hua cheng was never truly summoned and so he sleeps too for a very long time#mmmmmm#i dont have the attention span to type out what happens after that right now but tldr xie lian returns to make a second pilgrimage#and exposes jun wu fuckery AND kills sin once and for all with his bizarre fucked up huge aeon he seems to be able to talk to#final fantasy ten isnt very popular so this probably isnt very comprehensible without context#but thats ok#its for me anyways
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This is what you see in your dreams after watching too many scary YouTube videos and eating too much dessert
#electric light orchestra#hugh mcdowell#melvyn gale#jeff lynne#richard tandy#bev bevan#mik kaminski#kelly groucutt#cursed#it’s real weird hours#yes I had to do the Hugh eating photo in the center#him just intensely staring into the camera as he eats his caramel apple just makes my soul want to escape my body#this is the worst thing I have ever created#honestly the only decent one here is kelly#it was literally impossible to find an unflattering cursed image of him since he is so photogenic#so him staring blankly at the camera with the quality being a tad cursed was the closest I can get to#also there’s blurry cryptid mik#and bev smiling disturbingly#and the sad jeff#and Melvyn staring at the camera that that one facial expression#they’re all cursed#also I got richard doing a weird thing with his face#I think he moved his head up to get his hair out of his face during the 1976 concert#anyways it’s lovely#I chose the worst photos of each member and put them together because I thought that was the best idea ever#and it hurts me to look at it#lol I’m too silly#this activated my fight or flight mode
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the rage just kinda never fully goes away, huh.
#im so tired.#but i needed to at least scream into the void first.#just really fucking sucks that a woman can entrap me. isolate me. coerce me into overeating (thus making me gain weight). sexually abuse me.#all of this. for at least 4 or so years. and yet.#if i wish death upon her for the damage she's done to my body and mind then suddenly im the monster.#i don't even want to be the one to do it. i don't have the stomach or lack of compassion for that. l#i just want her dead so she can't victimize anyone else ever again. she ran off to missouri with a new victim.#he doesnt have really anyone willing to wade into the mire like i did. the only way he's escaping is either on his own or when she's dead.#on a side tangent im convinced that she's a chubby chaser. her ex before deciding i was a suitable next victim was fat.#she fattened me up by forcing me to eat her food even if it meant me being ill and in pain afterward.#her new victim is also fairly stocky.#keep in mind. if this was a matter of just. time and actually getting enough to eat each day i wouldn't be in as much mentally agony over it#its the coercion. the very clear intent by my abuser. it reads like a constant reminder of the abuse.#anyway. i needed to scream abt it. ive mentioned the sa. i never really talk about the food-related abuse.#i also never really talk about being an angry vengeful flawed victim that wants my abuser to shuffle off the mortal coil#shut up maple#sa mention
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no one does it like nsp
#interacting with a stranger makes me run and hide... and also die#i had two sips of beer and a couple of snacks#stood against the wall and had a panic attack#a guy comes up and wants me to vape#this is my hell and i cannot escape#he talks about a girls and his trip to france#it feels like my body is being eaten by ants
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opening The Sims 4 after updating my mods, immediately being hit with a "your computer may not have space to run the game smoothly" or w/e, trying to at least use CAS, even though my UI is still broke, watching the screen freeze for up to 20+ minutes on the same frozen screen only for the game to immediately crash
#non sims kinda#photo is my honest reaction#textposts#textpost#text post#text posts#im losing it#im sick bro#literally and metaphorically#i just want some ESCAPISM like goddamn#aaaaaa stupid game i wish it wasnt fun for me to make digital peepol#i hate this game ill likely still play it whenever i have a pc w space lol#also god my whole body hurts and everything feels 100x annoying even things that arent which makes me feel bad#my spine feels like it has a giant boulder whenever i sit up to draw#so even when i try i cant do escapism through art#like damn fuck my dumbass ig#jesterposting#jester posting
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