#anyway. i needed to scream abt it. ive mentioned the sa. i never really talk about the food-related abuse.
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the rage just kinda never fully goes away, huh.
#im so tired.#but i needed to at least scream into the void first.#just really fucking sucks that a woman can entrap me. isolate me. coerce me into overeating (thus making me gain weight). sexually abuse me.#all of this. for at least 4 or so years. and yet.#if i wish death upon her for the damage she's done to my body and mind then suddenly im the monster.#i don't even want to be the one to do it. i don't have the stomach or lack of compassion for that. l#i just want her dead so she can't victimize anyone else ever again. she ran off to missouri with a new victim.#he doesnt have really anyone willing to wade into the mire like i did. the only way he's escaping is either on his own or when she's dead.#on a side tangent im convinced that she's a chubby chaser. her ex before deciding i was a suitable next victim was fat.#she fattened me up by forcing me to eat her food even if it meant me being ill and in pain afterward.#her new victim is also fairly stocky.#keep in mind. if this was a matter of just. time and actually getting enough to eat each day i wouldn't be in as much mentally agony over it#its the coercion. the very clear intent by my abuser. it reads like a constant reminder of the abuse.#anyway. i needed to scream abt it. ive mentioned the sa. i never really talk about the food-related abuse.#i also never really talk about being an angry vengeful flawed victim that wants my abuser to shuffle off the mortal coil#shut up maple#sa mention
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