#it makes me very uncomfortable and angry
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I can’t believe it’s 2022 and I’m back on my loustat shit. They were my first ship at like 11 years old. I guess some things are just never outgrown.
#it feels good but very strange#it feels like no time has passed#I never stopped loving them#I love that they are endgame no matter what#in anne’s opinion they were married#the show is the show#some of the changes were completely unhinged imo#but the loustat was everything#I don’t like the dv angle at all#it makes me very uncomfortable and angry#but I still feel like loustat is meant to be endgame#and that sam and jacob are playing them to be endgame#I have faith in them#the writers not so much#iwtv#loustat#lestat de lioncourt#louis de pointe du lac
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guy having a very normal reaction to punisher max
#sorry to the artist guy getting fucking decimated for no reason other than being around. the artstyle just makes me deeply uncomfortable#i have a very bad headache................................................... maybe its not that bad and im just insane#for context i read somewhere that in the max series frank has another child with some episodic woman#and it make me irrationally angry. for some reason#like okay i cant tell you why right now because of the headache i genuinely can barely think#this isnt a jealousy thing okay trust me here. it just feels so wrong in my soul to have read that#I DONT THINK ITS AN ACCIDENT EITHER IN WHICH CASE LIKE OK FAIR ENOUGH IM PRETTY SURE HE DOES IT FULLY INTENTIONALLY#oughhh my head hurss ghan im gonna lose my minddddd#maybe ill wake up tomorrow and think about how this was a persona l problme but. god. eughhhhh that felt so wrong
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erm…. so anyways.
i originally deleted this ask and did not answer it cussss it was very confusing and shocking to get cus it was very unexpected. (also am not sure if me addressing it or posting abt it will make it happen more but.. oh well i wanna talk abt it.)
i do want to come on here and say that asks like these make me extremely uncomfortable.
i don’t know if you meant it in a sarcastic way, but even if you did im still not ok with it.
please, do not make asks like these as it violates my boundaries in my pinned post (to me this counts as nsfw, although it might not count for all)
i just wanted to make a post abt it because i do not want this happening again.
(turning off anon asks for a little bit after making this post just in case <3)
#im actually very angry#so im gonna rant in the tags#like wtf is that#their actually such a pussy for saying that on anon#like dude#wtf#erm anyways#thanks for making me uncomfortable ig ����#turning off anon#just for a bit#maybe a couple days yk?#I don’t want more off these pls#was very upsetting#triggered small meltdown#0/10 would not recommend#hope everyone else is good tho#stay safe <3#<3#therian#therianthropy#<— tagging for reach
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i’ve been home for just two hours and i already want to blow my brains out jesus fucking christ
#i’m very lucky that our dad never hit us#but i was constantly afraid as a kid that he would#bc he would tell us about how his dad would hit him and his brothers with a belt#and when my dad got angry he would often throw things or just hit inanimate objects#and now that he’s in a wheelchair and can barely lift a fork the fear i had as a kid is gone#and his temper’s gotten a little better but he still overreacts at the smallest little things#it’s so ridiculous to me that he can’t fathom why i don’t want to be around that#he feels so justified in his anger that he gets hurt when i walk away because it makes me uncomfortable#i’ve been working very hard these past few years to allow myself to get outwardly angry#but it’s shit like this that makes me want to lock all my emotions up from the world#personal
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FOR REAL I GET SO MAD WHEN I SEE POSTS LIKE "eww why are ntsmg fans such weirdos!! They dont deserve to have natsume/tsumugi as their favs!!" Like first of all we're not hurting anybody pls let us LIVE, second of all Have You Seen the Characters in Question. Like if we're freaks then what does that make THEM!??!? If they were real theyd be the freaks ur complaining abt!!! TL;DR natsumugi loser weirdo freaks canon and im here for it. Also that alice natsume is so CUUUUTE
ITS KIND OF ODD TBH ?? like obviously i get that not everyones going to like the same stuff but like. if you dont like characters being weird, why do You then also like ntmg.......? if its someone who doesnt ship them thats complaining then fine whatever but its so weird to me when people who claim to ship them make these complaints bc its like?? then why do you ship them???? do you Only like the bits where the two of them are being sweet to each other? do you only like their angsty backstory? do you only like the comedic relief? i have a hard time grasping the idea of dedicating yourself to a pair or character without loving (or at the very least tolerating) every aspect of them........ have these people read the stories? or are they being deliberately oblivious? i have no idea
it makes me really sad how people are so afraid of being seen as "weird" though. too often that word comes with negative connotations when that doesnt need to be the case at all, and i wish these people would stop living in fear and surrounding themselves with those who judge people based off how Socially Normal (according to a christian society) they are
also i just get annoyed seeing ntmg get watered down to some idealized couple completely stripped from their complexities to better fit what we're taught is Morally Correct (according to puritanical beliefs) or reduced to a comedic duo SHDKJFHD
#some of you people really need to learn to live a little#because not allowing yourself to indulge in what you enjoy or just getting mad at OTHERS for indulging in harmless behaviour#is going to make you miserable#and i really fucking wish this shit wasnt so ingrained in todays people#because such a judgemental and reactionary attitude genuinely is harmful especially towards queer people#but thats a whole other discussion for another day#and as i always say its OKAY to be uncomfortable with things#there are MANYYYYYY ntmg artists who make things that makes me very uncomfortable so i SIMPLY DO NOT ENGAGE!#but to act like ntmg Themselves arent weird ???#and like you cant possibly understand why the fans might indulge in some weird stuff too ??#thats gotta just be projecting on your end atp#ask#btw this is about harmless self-expression and exploration via fiction and not LITERAL CRIMES#just so you fuckers dont go assuming shit because Jesus Christ the second you start being open about accepting weirdness and being weird#people automatically assume the worst shit imaginable which is so fucking insulting to literally every single human being on the planet#this post is about fictional characters being weird and us being allowed to indulge in it#do Not twist my words into Anything else.#EDIT OMG I GOT SO CAUGHT UP IN BEING ANGRY AT STRANGERS ONLINE I FORGOT U COMPLIMENTED ME#THANK U VERY MUCH!!!!! ASJHFKAJSHDG
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Which ship do you prefer, Frisk x Chara, Chara x Asriel, or Frisk x Asriel
(I'm sorry in advance)
They're all siblings to me man!!! I don't like any of these ships!!!
#not intended to be mean or anything like I'm not angry I'm just very strongly not interested in shipping them#i don't even care about ships in general that much#and these ones in particular make me kinda uncomfortable.#i know a lot of people don't see chara and frisk as siblings but it's a personal thing i guess#as for chara and asriel I'd really really prefer it if you don't interact with me if you ship them.#ask#anon#anonymous
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i keep talking about it on xitter but seeing end of eva in theaters was genuinely amazing, like the sound design and the quality...the way that the movie ends and everyone is just There...i used to just like the movie and thought it was a bit overrated, but now i think it's one of my favorite films ever
#im SO glad i got to go#you can really feel how angry it is#like even though. That scene has been memed to death it still felt very uncomfortable to sit through#and the movie is very loud the first half right#but you dont notice how loud it's been until you see eva 02's corpse and the movie just goes completely silent#i already want to go see it again#oh and the subtitles made things make a ton more sense#yeah but wow.........i keep thinking abt it#i was like how could seeing it in theaters change my thoughts? but everyone talking about it convinced me#and they were right
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/ so I finally updated my rules and verses pages to reflect current activity and such since they were a bit outdated. if you haven't checked them in a long time, pleeeease at least skim them again! I think I mostly got everything, but I'd realized I hadn't properly updated them since shortly after I made this blog. 🙇♀️
#{ bravewolf mun }#/ part of the updates are cleaning things up and reflecting more recent stuff/decisions (some I updated without saying so along the way)#part of it is that like. previously I was trying to like. force myself to comply with some loc game aspects#bc I figured nobody would wanna write with me if my muse was strictly a JP portrayal#but the more I tried to use any Yuri-specific loc aspects the more uncomfortable I became with them (esp personality conflicting moments)#and the more I thought abt it I realized like... why am I trying to force myself to write things that make me so angry#and I slowly but surely started to yeet them all out one by one along the way#and by the time I realized it my rules no longer reflected my decision to be strictly JP based#I just genuinely used to be worried nobody would wanna write with a version of a character they didn't know#so I rly appreciate everyone still writing with me even if they aren't familiar with my specific muse#I recognize he's very different than what most ppl in the west know and I was rly just#afraid of ppl not wanting to write with me thinking my muse was too ooc but like#they're just practically two very different people in a lot of core ways#I know it shouldn't be a big deal that ppl are writing with me bc of this but... it is!!!#I rly thought ppl would be turned off writing with me out of lack of familiarity with the version I play#but you've all been rly nice to me abt it and I've been able to develop my muse freely the way I'm happy and comfortable with#and I'm not afraid to be up front with which version I play now so ummm idk thank u guys ;n;#just mentioning it bc I know my rules prob look a lot more firm abt my position on my muse now#aside from that stuff there are a few odd end updates and rewordings in there! /
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ok so. today i am going to
fly (and travel at all) by myself for the first time since making the emergency return home from br!ghton bc of c0vid 4 years ago (extremely distressing and scary experience). and fly by myself two weeks after a mixed bag of a conference experience / plane ride home that included a massive scary depressive spiral that i had someone there to help me through as much as they could but it wasn’t enough which was absolutely not their fault but was deeply distressing to me at the time. so im about to be in a very similar environment but this time that person won’t be physically with me and it’s going to wreck my brain in multiple directions in part bc i have not yet recovered from the depressive spiral. i am still in it. lawl <3
ride in an uber by myself for the first time. ride in an uber at all for maybe the 5th time. as a very short young woman. which i have been expressedly warned by my parents not to do. lol <3
check into a hotel by myself for the first time
walk in a big city by myself for the first time (technically slightly untrue bc wjen i was last in ch!cago 5 years ago i did power walk from the hotel to the conference venue (like a block away) on the last day bc i was pissed about a situation but that was like… a block and i saw ppl i knew walking in that area. this time i will be in the same city and know no one at least for today
give myself a self care evening at the recommendation of my therapist…. for the first time. (maybe after i take a walk which i will do specifically when it’s still light out to see what the area is like). tonight no one i know will be in ch!cago yet and i have no plans to do anything. im going to play video games and draw and sing and give myself space and time to just enjoy being by myself and see how it goes
#purrs#conference tag#chicago#im very very very scared. that i won’t be able to handle it. i have craved solitude but also don’t know if it’s something i actually want o#if it’s a product of my circumstances. i am not used to being completely alone like that like whenever ive had it there have always been#other ppl in the building that ive had to be cognizant of and that will be true of a hotel too but bc i don’t know the people i will feel#less responsible to them . like obviously im not goi ng to sing at the top of my lungs but i will feel like i can sing which ive never felt#like i can do when ive lived with roommates or at home kinda. idk. my therapist was challenging me to experiment with fear by asking myself#if im really in danger or if im just uncomfortable / about to experience something ive never done before and right now im so extremely#anxious but what i am about to do is not inherently dangerous and i need to recognize im just experiencing something new and do it scared.#like im literally terrified i can’t describe how scared i am in a way that does it justice. but i am going to be okay. and when i tell#myself that i make it so.#trina vega voice im a woman…… [about to be] in ch!cago….. who’s SCARED!#i also have no idea how to be in a big city and be safe. like what do i do if im followed or if someone tries to attack me or something.#obviously the chances of that are extremely slim but ive had it hammered into me that if i am alone in a city that’s what’s going to happen#to me bc i am such a ~weak and defenseless small young woman~ lol. but bc i believed the fear and have had very little experience in citie#i have no idea how to navigate them or to be safe which creates the problem. like it makes it true that i am weak and defenseless bc i have#been shielded from being able to learn how to be smart and strong and cognizant of my surroundings. and i am so angry about it and hope tha#i will SHATTER that sense when im there and come away from it w confidence ive never had before#like i don’t have… pepper spray or anything like that. idk if that’s a thing ppl actually carry on them or if it’s just a thing ppl say. i#genuinely have zero idea at all. and i really really hope i won’t be in a situation where i’ll wish i had some. i doubt i will be but still
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anti's keep walking into situations that they KNOW are gonna make themselves upset like. yall are literally self-harming please seek treatment.
yeah literally just... mute/block if it upsets you & move on its not that hard
#cant say how angry it makes me when people tell others they deserve to die over something as mundane as fandoms#ya know. as someone who had very severe ocd a few years back.#i will never stop talking about how extremely harmful and dangerous anti rhetoric is to people who suffer from ocd and intrusive thoughts.#sorry anon for hijacking your ask lol this whole anti discourse is just very personal to me for reasons#dont wanna get too much into it though#but ill say it again... its entirely valid to feel uncomfortable by something but just. block and move on. dont harass people please#asks#txt#// discourse
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experiencing symptoms of anxiety😁😁
#m#i feel like there is conflict. and i'm going to die#i have this horrible feeling he knows about my feelings and is uncomfortable#bc we literally will not be working together at all and i'm scared he asked our manager to do that#and like i just really hope he doesn't feel uncomfortable or inconvenienced and i feel guilty#also one of my other coworkers was talking about something something how to become a trainer#so i mentioned that im going to become one#this was saturday but ALL DAY today they have been bringing it up#and it's making me feel so shitty and guilty bc they really want that position and i feel like i just shouldn't have said anything 😔#they seemed very upset bc they said like 'oh so did u ask our manager about jt' and i said that she approached me#and they got angry at that 😕😕
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sorry. guess I'm blogging trans drama now. But I still don't know what a baeddel is and at this point I really just don't super care
#my impressions from the vague things i've heard is like. vocal neoradfem transfem movement#that's kinda annoying and jerkfacey but fundamentally right in a lot of their assessments but fundamentally wrong in others#and got mocked into obscurity#and like. who cares? do they have any serious institutional or social power to weaponize?#does this matter at all outside of niche tumblr drama?#idk i can think of like 10 other kinda problematic angry movements that 'we' at least are sympathetic to#and aren't nearly this hostile towards. even though they result in much more tangible harms#idk. just kinda feels like a mix of the 'angry women aren't fulfilling their role' deal that got classic radfem seen as#a serious threat to whiteness-gender with the pressure in some contexts for trans women to be inoffensively feminine and 'fit in.'#... which brings me to i feel like The Left™️. particularly in social media contexts. very much has a problem with an economy of#who is worth critically allying with and who is worth driving off#in the popularity economy of social media. you don't need to consciously hold bigoted beliefs to create discriminatory outcomes#you just need to subconsciously make a discriminatory judgement when something makes you uncomfortable#which you totally do! yes! i mean you! literally nobody in this society is above it! that's just how culture works!#it doesn't even have to be much. when hundreds of thousands of people are. even little bits add up#so you get this weird self-reinforcing filter where even if everyone is consciously against oppressive systems. and is correct in their#assessments and analysis. and is critically engaging#a status quo forms manifests in what actually reaches you. which then of proceeds to further reinforce itself since that impacts#what even exists in the first place *to* filter.#and in a lot of ways. reflects 'ambient' culture's biases.
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Not Every Film I Watch In 2024
13. Sajini Shinde Ke Viral Video (2023)
#sajini shinde ke viral video#sajini shinde ke viral video (2023)#2024filmgifs#my gifs#that made me so angry#but that was the point#i wanted to beat the shit out of every man in that film#with the slight exception of the cop and the brother#so the identity of the actual culprit was quite clever#but everyone was indicted and rightly so#i think i'm in love with Nimrat Kaur#i love everything about her onscreen#it would be so great to have her and Vidya face off#in some super complicated super feminist story#which could totally happen#hopefully soon#Maddock still making very relevant uncomfortably challenging movies#good for them
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i know it's just how some people are and comes down to personality but god i fucking hate delicate girls. and i don't mean physically weak girls or whatever i mean girls that haven't raised their voice a day in their life and avoid walking on the grass like the plague. and there's nothing inherently wrong with being like that but it infuriates me so much like where's the LIFE in you. and why do you get to be the perfect societal standard for womanhood?? meanwhile i'm over here shoveling dirt into my mouth and sounding like a possessed demon when i get mad at my mom and you're making me look bad!!!
#i know how this sounds i know but it's how i feel#i think this also just has to do with my past personal experiences with girls like this who were also judgy as hell#way too many perfectly delicate on the surface girls have talked shit about me behind my back#and then said passive aggressive things to my face and trying to monitor my behavior#and THAT SHIT made me more angry than anything ever has bc don't you dare make me feel like less of a girl bc i don't act perfect#i thought i was over this bc it was mainly just a thing back in my early teens when i was having internalized sexism problems#but i've been thinking about it and i realize it happened again a few weeks ago with my roommates#where they confronted me and told me they felt uncomfortable bc i was being 'hostile'#aka not smiling and saying hi every time they walked into a room#but yeah the girls that are like this that aren't judgy about it are usually very sweet but it still makes me angry#also hate that i'm 21 and still feel this way#i'm too old to be as angry as i was when i was 13#shut up hanna
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Bojack in an episode with a female oncler describes his relationship with anna
If we were in a relationship it would be like the movie Doubt
me: Hmm What is the plot of the movie doubt?
In 1964 the winds of change are sweeping through Sister Aloysius' (Meryl Streep) St. Nicholas school. Father Flynn (Philip Seymour Hoffman), a charismatic priest, is advocating reform of the school's strict customs, and the first black student has just been accepted. When a fellow nun (Amy Adams) tells Sister Aloysius that Father Flynn may be paying too much personal attention to the student, Sister Aloysius begins a personal crusade against the priest -- despite her lack of evidence.
so what is that suppose to imply?? Nothing good i wager.
ever hear the saying we accept the love that we think we deserve?
Ican't believe some people thought the above scene was consensual she didn't ask and he was obviously confused/uncomfortable with it he only liked the compliments cause his parents threw his self esteem into the fire and stomped on the ashes
#no he didnt deserve this this was very uncomfortable to watch#and yet here i go getting screens of it#tw: assault#bojack horseman#i dont think were suppose to eye this and go he deserves it i think were suppose to find it scary#hella ana is a complete hypocrite who could have cared less about him and penny anyway letsbereal#i us to wonder if she killed the manatee but i think she paid her off#the scene with ana makes me angry#he's a 1000 pounds and? Like the balls are also an important part of the body you dont want to piss off the person screwing with em
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really not a fan of seeing red, from the attempted rape scene to the killing of the second queer character (of only 3, 4 if you count andrew as being actually gay and not just “haha wouldnt it be funny?”) on the show its just. not fucking fun
#i looked at the wiki and saw that the scene was based on a writer trying to do that with her own boyfriend to stop themselves#from breaking up but like. it went on too long it wasnt comfortable#it also personally felt out of character for him like hes been shown to push but not force but like. i guess the writer thought it was a#desperate last ditch attempt to make them work which i could see working as an argument. but i am extremely grossed out that she was writing#based off of experience personally#looking at the production notes for this episode is wild bc it just feels like there should be a pop up of ‘everybody hated that’#not to mention they just killed tara with a stray bullet at the very end for shock value?? its fucking bull thats what it is#anyway i think this is the worst episode of the season thus far. probably tied w the riley one#its really pitting how angry and uncomfortable it made me vs how downright bored. i think angry wins tho#buffy the vampire slayer
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