#it makes me so fucking sick to think that we're dying and we still never get mentioned in discussions of occupied nations

[mcflymemes]

CHALLENGERS (2024) PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary.

who says i want somebody to be in love with me?

i don't want to fuck you to prove a point.

fuck me because you want to.

are you gonna do it or not?

tastes even better than it looks.

i just told you i missed you.

i really want to kiss you right now, but i'm worried that if i try, you'll think i'm the worst friend in the world.

you know, it hurts me sometimes how little you believe in yourself.

decimate that little bitch.

let's be honest, you gotta feel bad for the kid.

you're not a spring chicken anymore.

dude. he's a pancake. you're gonna flatten him.

how's this feeling?

we're ready for you.

so obviously this isn't the result you wanted today.

you choked.

i don't want you to embarrass yourself.

i'm just a little rusty. it's a confidence thing.

get your fucking confidence back. i can't do it for you.

i'm so sick of you using this as an excuse to have a fucking meltdown.

you said we could watch a movie.

you're evil.

i'm gonna quiz you on it tomorrow.

sir, i don't know who you are.

i don't think we have much more to talk about.

i haven't spoken to you in five years.

i was just taking a little nap.

move, or i'm calling the cops.

you were really something back then, huh?

we always talked about how amazing it would be to win this together.

i'm a crazy person.

any predictions about how that's going to go?

can you do me a favor? can you not, like... demolish me tomorrow?

shut the fuck up.

if it matters to you so much, i can just give it to you.

i need it to look like i really beat you.

don't guilt me with your dying grandmother.

she's the hottest woman i've ever seen.

you were... fucking incredible.

baby, we've got to get going.

i'm not going to that party.

are you that threatened by me?

we can't both just go in there, dicks swinging.

i'd let her fuck me with a racket.

hey, do you smoke?

of course they will remember you.

see, that's your problem. you think you're like an artist or something.

you just want to win because you love it when people tell you how talented you are.

are you on facebook?

i told you tennis was boring.

you just got this crazy look on your face.

are you on a date?

i don't kiss and tell.

why did you want to have dinner with me?

i think you might be the worst friend in the world.

i didn't know you were so concerned about my feelings.

of course you still have a thing for her.

we just had what i'm assuming is the best sex of our lives.

i fucked your brains out?

what do you think you need? a cheerleader? a fuck buddy? a girlfriend?

you're talented, you're charming, and you've got a big dick.

excuse me for inconveniencing you.

don't expect to sleep here tonight.

stop going easy on me.

i'll be whatever you need me to be. i'll fuck off if you want me to.

i need you here, actually.

you're referring to when i declared my love for you.

you're not in love with me anymore?

i've been dreaming about this for five years.

i'm gonna propose something to you, and it's gonna make you angry. it's gonna make you very angry. but you have to hear me out, okay?

i'm finally ready to listen to you.

how dare you fucking ask me that.

do you think it's cute what you're doing? do you think it's funny?

that's the stupidest fucking thing i've ever heard.

i've always wanted you.

you didn't do anything to me. i did it all to myself.

i think i've reached the limit of my willingness to have this conversation with you.

do you understand how embarrassing it is that you're here?

you've never beaten me.

tell me it doesn't matter.

will you just hold me?

i'm not here to fuck you.

i miss watching you play. you were so beautiful.

[katzirra]

I think the worst part is like prior to ALL THIS CANCER SHIT, with my own cancer scare I was doing a lot of personal therapy mentally about my mother and my childhood. Processing trauma and anger. And I'm like stuck in that stage right now, because I've spent 20+ years telling my mom to go to a doctor about her uterus. And her quack holistic doctor told her get a hysterectomy or suffer, without doing ANY EXAMS why my 60 year old mother was still bleeding.

So I'm processing anger about my weird childhood, my awful teenage years, the disrespect my whole family gives me, and my anger that while I know there's nothing I could do more than I did for YEARS - that it's her own fault. Her own stubborn fault. And that I learned from that what not to do and be. I stopped visiting my parents because I would get in FIGHTS with my mom about her health and I hated fighting with her.

So all I've been feeling is anger, and sporadic moments of crying for five or ten minutes over the most goofy ass shit.

I cried tonight telling my sister to take a stuffed cat to my mom so she would know I'm thinking of her. A round ball plush the size of a tennis ball that looks like Mina, that Becca got her for that reason. I cried because my mom is scared I'm gonna be angry and tell her I told you so and fight with her about shit, and hasn't wanted to talk to me. I cried because the sentiment I have of having that cat show up, won't register to her.

My sister and I have had this conversation with our mom for years of her being convinced we're gonna fight over her stuff when she dies. We won't because I want stupid shit.

I want her copy of the Godfather that she threatened to make us watch, and I was the first one who said okay and ended up liking it. I want her terrible Subspecies movies, because she loved Radu lmfao GOD. I want trinkets from her desk that I played with when I talked to her constantly, because I couldn't not annoy her. I want the set of earrings I got her that she liked because they made her think of me and her taste. I want my parent's wedding rings because mom's is pretty, and dad's is made from a spoon he's so big - back before it was trendy lol but that won't be until he goes.

I want the little crystal unicorn because I used to make crude jokes with it...

I have my mom's Hannibal books and movies. I have some of her movies she'd never miss but make me think of her. I have the little wood box grandpa made her when she was little... I've had bits of her in my house forever because as much as she was a terrible fucking mother to a gay child until 8ish years ago - she's my mom and I do value things we did together.

I have every scarf she ever made me, and I still know the basics of how to knit a scarf at least because she taught me. I kept every ticket stub for every movie we saw together. I still can't eat milk duds without being scared I'll lose a tooth like I did during the Pokemon movie.

She'll take her shitty chili recipe to the grave unfortunately, because she can never tell me how she makes it. The thing that broke through covid finally...

I don't know how to process my grief and emotions because I have fucked up emotions because of all my trauma in that house emotionally. But I feel immense guilt I cannot properly process this information that my mother will die soon of her own fucking Idiocracy.

I feel bad I got sick and never got to watch that Orson Welles movie with her that she actually made time to make a mother daughter movienight around after I told her I was upset she never set aside time for me anymore as an adult.

I feel upset that the first real compliments I got on my art from her was on a commission, and she ACTUALLY pointed out specific things she liked. And I'm happy it was the one of Rhea for how hard I worked on it...

But fuck it stung that after all this time why now?

All my thoughts kinda keep just coming in like the tide and I'm tired. Like I've made peace with my mom passing - she's been dying my whole life we used to joke, but uh. Man.

Sucks.

[bloodscribed]

INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY.

a set of prompts featuring lyrics from the album of the same name by waterparks. may contain suggestive content. feel free to change things as needed for the sake of writing!

ST*RFUCKER

"I'm gonna move out of my loft and into a limousine."

"Jesus Christ won't text me back."

"I'll always be around, in fact."

"I'm climbing up your window now."

"It's been a pleasure, it's nice to meet you."

"Maybe I'm a soul-sucker."

"But you're just a star fucker."

"I bet you wouldn't ask me to do that by this time next year."

"You can't hide my face and save me for a rainy day."

"It don't go two ways."

"I don't wanna be toxic, I just wanna be honest."

"But this shit hurts like a comet."

"And it just hurts 'cause I want it."

REAL SUPER DARK

"I'm outta my cage, and I'm on the stage."

"I'm dying to give you a show."

"I'm alienated, way overrated."

"Here are a few of the notes."

"My fans are the best."

"They'd love me more dead."

"But baby, it's gettin' too loud."

"Yo, shut the fuck out of your mouth."

"Bite tongue 'till there's blood in my mouth."

"It freaks me out."

"It gets real super dark around the edge of my heart."

FUNERAL GREY

"Now I'm tripping off the deep end."

"So call me a Lyft or a black hearse."

"I know you'll make my head spin."

"What's your favorite color?"

"That's not a color, it's a shade."

"Don't disagree with me."

"And then she walked away."

"I didn't get her name."

"I can't explain the look on her face."

"She wore a sweater in summer weather."

"It was funeral grey."

"And now it's killing me."

"I just want you to be my next mistake that I'm gonna make."

"She walked in, took a hit."

"That shit is gonna kill you."

"Well now you're gonna die too."

"I said that you can call me, beep me if you want my skin."

"She rolled her eyes."

"I know your dying wish is to be baptized in my spit."

"Float my way, I'm melting for you."

BRAINWASHED

"What's up?"

"Hello, I'm tryna meet ya."

"Shocked at the words coming from my tongue."

"A language that I'm not familiar."

"Don't take it away."

'I wanna play."

"Where did the time fly?"

"What if I pray?"

"Hoping you'll stay into the daylight."

"Wait, what am I saying?"

"I feel insane."

"It's only been a couple days."

"I'm having the same thoughts, can't stop."

"Thinking you got me brainwashed."

"I'm see-through, need you."

"Why do I think you're so cool?"

"Everything's clean except for my thoughts."

"Thinking about me getting you off."

"It's been a week, I'm still at your house."

"I don't wanna leave, it's freaking me out."

"Why am I acting like that?"

"Are you really that funny, or am I hallucinating?"

"It's like my brain isn't mine."

"This syndrome feels Stockholm."

"Do you wanna keep me on lock, though?"

"Symmetrical feelings match best when we're staring at the ceiling."

2 BEST FRIENDS

"I'm trying to turn my mind off."

"But I don't know where to go when the night's long."

"I could have picked your body in a lineup."

"Now I'm sick of waiting on you to call."

"Yeah, I'm sick of playing it cool."

"So I went out with my two best friends."

"Tried anything not to think of you."

"It didn't work, and I feel like shit."

"Wake up tomorrow and try again."

"You hit back with the syntax."

"You treated my heart like a handbag."

"So now I'm solo when the night's cold."

"Yeah, I kissed a couple people, but they taste wrong."

END OF THE WATER (FEEL)

"If you feel it, then I feel it too."

"If you believe me, I could be your truth."

"If you need me, all I need is you."

"Why we ghost each other for a week at a time?"

"Make plans and let 'em fall through."

"I can't even call you, let alone call you mine."

"I can be nonchalant, if that's what you really want."

"But I'm just glad you and I are alive at the same time."

"We can't take back what we never gave."

"And that distance keeps us safe."

"But nobody told me that safe is so lonely."

"Can't we act like you and I are alive at the same time?"

"Do you feel it? 'Cause I feel it too."

"Do you need it? 'Cause I need it too."

SELF-SABOTAGE

"When we talk, I'm never wrong."

"Might unplug my phone at night."

"When you need me most, I'll miss that flight."

"Now we're at the part where you'll hate what you see."

"What the fuck is wrong with me?"

"I'm on my way to you, but I'll self-sabotage."

"So I might drive my car and crash into your garage."

"To get away from you, I'll self-sabotage."

"If you like when we talk, I'll dislocate my jaw."

"I'll piss you off and ask what's wrong."

"I want this to work so bad."

"But I want but I can't have."

"Make plans and break them to see what you say."

"'Cause you put on makeup and I'm still in bed."

RITUAL

"Gotta clear my front lawn off."

"Melatonin, eyes feel heavy tonight."

"I could sleep for weeks."

"Don't look for me."

"They're killing me when I'm fast asleep."

"Are you hearing me?"

"I'm living fucking betrayed."

"Living like I'm dead and on my own."

FUCK ABOUT IT

"I like you but I need some space."

"I like you kinda far away."

"It's not that hard to kill a day looking at your face."

"I like you but I need some room."

"It doesn't always stay that way."

"I hate the aftertaste."

"I don't wanna leave you hangin' on."

"But when we fight, it's like a marathon."

"Give me three days alone."

"We can fuck about it later, if you want."

"It's all we really do when something's wrong."

"You don't seem to like it when we talk."

"I guess I'll see you later."

"Because we never fix the problems that we've got."

"You've been at my crib for like the seventh day up in a row."

"You've been doing silly things like checking who I follow."

"I won't lie to you."

"It's like scars on my wrist."

CLOSER

"Nothing stays the same."

"I feel love a different way."

"I got my space, but what did I pay for you?"

"'Cause I love you, or I want to."

"But I don't know how."

"I need to really feel you."

"But we're running around."

"Is it easy now?"

"You only hit me in the evening."

"I need you closer."

"I need it over."

"There's nothing left to let go."

"It's the darkest afterglow."

"Maybe in another life, we can try and get us right."

"You're the holiday I celebrate too late."

"You're the eyes I gave up trying to captivate."

"You're the song I loved but then overplayed."

"I'm the b-side throwaway."

"I hope you never rain on my charade."

"I've been fucked so much that I no longer wait."

"I sabotage and break my own heart just in case."

"Will it kill me in the evening that I let you down?"

NIGHT OUT ON EARTH

"Am I missing out?"

"Am I having fun?"

"Is it just me, or is it everyone?"

"The love I get is virtual."

"Now Jesus hates my guts."

"It's getting personal."

"It's a night out on earth."

"The last one for a while, can't get worse."

"Now if I ever feel jealous, I just turn it into lyrics."

"I turn pain into rain and sing along."

"I wear all my red flags like a cape."

"Life gave me lemons, now I bleed lemonade."

"It gets so fucking hot under all this shade."

"Everywhere I walk's a toxic parade."

"The glove don't fit, but I wear it anyway."

"It's a hell of a time."

"Was I loved, or was I right?"

"Am I gonna go to hell in my sleep?"

"Or will God forgive me?"

"I gotta hide everybody that I like."

"Because everyone I know knows another me."

"It's getting hard to keep track of everything I keep locked behind my back."

"I'm leaving when the night goes."

"I ain't gonna let go."

SNEAKING OUT OF HEAVEN

"When we fuck, it feels like I'm struck by your lightning."

"They say I'm brainwashed, yeah I might be."

"I built a secret room for you."

"Just one more chance to adore you."

"If you're toxic, I'll wear a hazmat."

"Do you think God knows?"

"You've been sneaking out of heaven."

"Were his eyes closed?"

"There's no way He's just letting you fall from the stars."

"I swear to God my heart's gonna pop."

"If I'm not brainwashed, man, I'm trying to be."

"Swallow my shoes and my car keys."

"I don't need those, 'cause I won't leave."

"I'll have to jump the gates when I die."

"Go to my place, and you put away your halo."

[bella-rose29]

episode 8 commentary - Not the Eternal

final episode :(

swearing and spoilers for the books and show

also I wrote this months and months ago and no I will not be rereading so I'm just as surprised as you are for whatever is in this

not the way the light is buzzing while the camera spins around!!!

lockwood please go to therapy so you can start handling your emotions better

I love that he just gets changed into another suit and not comfy clothes

I WONT GIVE UP ON YOU LOCKWOOD

omg you're opening up about your feelings and admitting that you wanted to be at the bottom of the thames??? well done!!! (you still need to see a therapist though I'll do it for free if you can't afford it)

I want ruby to read CBeebies bedtime stories because the way that she narrates Mary Dulac's writings is amazing

omg idk if it means anything but the bone glass being a 'window' and George seeing Bickerstaff's face in the window and punching it??? am I stretching or is that a very sneaky link???

"where the hell is George" he's with the woman that's definitely in some sort of weird i-want-to-groom-you-relationship with him

yeah she needs you but not in the way you think

skull is such a snarky arse and I love it

"too busy playing the happy couple" yes they were although they were more like a married couple going through a rough patch

"it had to be here" because there's nobody to hear you scream then George

kipps omg no

Georgie yes slay that ghost

Joplin why do you just carry around the second knife that's very obvious of you

"I'd never be that nice to you" pfft

"let's kick in the doors, like we're really cool and know what we're doing" YES THANK YOU LOCKWOOD FOR VOICING WHAT ALL OF US WANT TO DO AND WHY

go on bobby

"what's the secret weapon?" "she is" power move from a husband supporting his wife

"and I'm Anthony bloody lockwood" YES YOU ARE

"this isn't a park, it's a graveyard" "then let's bury them" ICONIC LINE FROM HUSBAND

ned you got this

bobby you got this don't let the ginger woman beat you

is it bad I kinda wanna pin lockwood to a pillar

Kat come on you're a badass bitch don't let anyone tell you otherwise

skull why are you so cryptic and so literal at the same time

Georgie no

Georgie academics are not always nice like you are

he did want to see more but not unconsensually

yes you do know that knife Georgie is it all coming together now

DONT YOU HURT MY LOCKWOOD WINKMAN

YES KAT KICK HER IN THAT GRAVE

YES KAT KNOCK HIM OUT

"that bastard had a plan" "a suicidal one" "That tends to be a feature of all my best plans" lockwood honey-

"to save my friends. and kipps" pfft I love that he went to move away and had to turn back to make the distinction

omg Georgie no

you are an oddball but that's why we love you

omg Lucy called him Georgie

I love that Lucy has a go at lockwood for being all "do what you want with me but leave her alone" and then she does the same thing with George 💀

lockwood your arrogance is showing (but also you absolutely beat golden blade twice)

DONT TALK ABOUT HIS PARENTS

DONT FUCKING SHOOT HIM

omg the thump when lockwood lands on the bottom of the catafalque has me on the floor 💀

poor skully

omg dying at that shot of lockwood standing up after falling down the catafalque

Lucy no

Georgie yes

GEORGE IS NOT STUPID YOU BITCH

I am quite sad we didn't get the glasses wearer representation from George where he looks into the bone glass and doesn't see shit because he's not wearing his glasses bc honestly same (I can't see shit without mine either)

YES LOCKWOOD SLAY THAT BITCH

"oh, and I got shot" love it

not the way Lucy is cradling lockwood's face when they go back up on the catafalque and he's just lying there like some sick victorian lady in a painting while she strokes his cheek

omg and she moves his arm and coat so that all limbs are inside the vehicle at all times

"I thought George would have told you" George didn't tell because they secretly love you really kipps

"just reckless enough" both iconic and he looks like a wet cat

his smile is so precious I love him

"you're alright, lockwood" despite the fact you poked me in the bum after beating me in a duel when we were younger

"It's a medical necessity, George, it doesn't mean a thing" lol

"I thought I'd killed him" bitch nothing can kill him but his wife leaving

omg them being a family

"lockwood almost died a thousand times, but... I think he's decided he's better off alive" OH MY GOD

skully :(

"it's incredibly rare. both of you are" OK LOVER BOY

*shoves a doughnut in George's mouth to get him to stop talking*

HE'S WEARING THE PINK SOCKS iconic

his hand when he opens that door omg I need to stop I'm too obsessed

[cinememed]

₍ 🎞 ₎   fight club  (1999)  rp  starters  ! featuring violence, explicit language, unhealthy relationships & mature topics . some lines have been slightly adjusted for rp purposes .

how much can you know about yourself if you've never been in a fight?

you met me at a very strange time in my life.

i found freedom. losing all hope was freedom.

i want you to hit me as hard as you can.

the things you own end up owning you.

yes, these are bruises from fighting. yes, i'm comfortable with that.

it's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.

if i don't say anything, people always assume the worst.

this isn't love, it's sport fucking.

i know everything you do, so if you know then i know.

i no longer have any fear of death. but i am in a pretty lonely place.

i wouldn't feel good about my life, is that what you want to hear me say? fine. 

this is your life and it's ending one minute at a time.

i see all this potential, and i see squandering.

listen to me, i'm giving you a direct order. 

you have very serious emotional problems.

you're sorry, i'm sorry, everybody's sorry, but... i can't do this anymore.

it will hurt more than you've ever been burned before. you will have a scar.

i'm grateful to you. but this is too much. i don't want this.

you're the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

this is probably one of those cry-for-help things.

you're not getting this back. i consider it asshole tax.

fuck what you know. you need to forget about what you know.

is your life so empty that you can't think of a better way to spend these moments?

start a fight. prove you're alive.

you are too fucking... blonde!

you have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh.

all the ways you wish you could be, that's me.

i am free in all the ways that you are not.

i'll bring us through this. like always.

this is your pain. it's right here. look at it.

you are not special. you are not a beautiful or unique snowflake.

i'll carry you, kicking and screaming, and in the end you'll thank me.

you can swallow a pint of blood before you get sick.

you're not your job. you're not how much money you have 

we are all part of the same compost heap.

you're never really asleep... and you're never really awake.

when people think you're dying, they really, really listen to you

what do you want me to do? you just want me to hit you?

i don't wanna die without any scars. hit me before i lose my nerve.

on a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

every evening i died, and every evening i was born again, resurrected.

nobody takes this more seriously than me. 

i didn't create some loser alter-ego to make myself feel better.

why would anyone possibly confuse you with me?

without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing.

three pitchers of beer, and you still can't ask.

you wanna make an omelet, you gotta break some eggs.

you have to consider the possibility that god does not like you.

i'd be very, very careful who you talk to about that.

i felt like destroying something beautiful.

everything's far away. everything's a copy of a copy of a copy.

[itsybitsylemonsqueezy]

So, like everyone else, I'm also getting eaten alive by the Arcane season 2 finale. It may even have awakened the Writing Beast from its deep slumber. Some here's some disorganized Jayvik thoughts under the cut:

Where the hell's my "They had us going in the first half" meme? Like, am I the only one who made it through episode 8 and the first half of episode 9 with the sick-to-the-stomach dread that it was going to crash and burn? I'll be honest, I did not think they had the chops to pull this off and yet! I stand gloriously evolved corrected! God damn!

And for that matter, where's my "Why We Have To Break Up/Why We Have To Stay Together/Why We're Getting Divorced/etc" meme too. I think that is warranted. True, Jayce and Viktor never really sell you on the divorce, but I think that just makes it funnier.

I can't fucking believe that hanahaki almost destroyed the universe. Like, that's canon, that's real. That's just what fucking happened, oh my goddddd. Viktor, jesus christ dude.

To be quite honest, I think there is a strongly justified argument that Jayce thought they were in a relationship the entire time. Canon does not disprove this. Think about it, he always refers to Viktor as his partner, he fucking introduces him that way to everyone he meets. If he just assumed that maybe Viktor was ace since Viktor never initiates touch or seems to ask for physical intimacy, he might have just thought this is what Viktor was cool with. Viktor never contradicts or asks to clarify the "partner" title. Jayce also doesn't go out looking for Mel, he kinda fell into it. And he might have assumed that if Viktor had a problem with it, he'd say something. Which in fact echoes one of the main problems in their relationship! Consistently, Jayce thinks Viktor will speak up for himself, for his needs and wants, for when he needs help, because he loves and respects Viktor and believes they are equals. Why wouldn't Viktor come to him if he needed something? Why would Viktor hide from him? And Viktor, equally consistently, literally would rather die than tell you he's dying. He will not, ever, disclose what he wants or needs and it has never occurred to him that Jayce would expect him to say if he needs something. Like, there's blame on both sides for why this fell apart. And they both assumed they understood each other perfectly and what's truly fucked is on an atomically intimate level they do, but on a higher practical, logistical level, they just talk right past each other. Viktor assumes partner only means professionally and Jayce assumes that Viktor would ask. The misunderstanding is literally that simple.

And then think about Skye! My god, she walks into this and takes one look at Viktor and instantly knows what's Wrong With Him™. And, bafflingly, Jayce doesn't! It's painfully clear to her that Viktor is incapable of thinking about anyone besides Jayce, that he's dying and refusing help at every turn, that he's beautiful and brilliant and never ever hears it when people tell him that. She sees all this instantly and, with dawning horror, sees that Jayce carries uncommonly strong affection for him. So how, in the name of all that is holy, has Jayce not noticed? How could he be this blind? And, this Skye probably didn't know, but Jayce is so fucking in love with everything Viktor does and is, he truly doesn't see the problems until it's too late. It's not that he doesn't care, quite the opposite in fact. And poor Skye just sits with that knowledge. It's arguable that she selfishly didn't explain to Viktor, but it's just as arguable, that if she had tried, Viktor still wouldn't have heard her. She knew him very well, I want to give her credit for that.

It's tragic, but also so fucking funny. "Well, I think I'm in a relationship? I call him my partner all the time and we do everything together. He makes me so happy. Pretty sure he's ace tho? And maybe he thinks we have an open relationship? I told him I slept with someone and he just kinda nodded? He looked real pale and sick, but he always looks like that. I dunno, maybe sexual stuff just grosses him out too much. I won't bring it up again. As long as he's happy, I'm happy." vs "Well, my soulmate is currently courting someone else. *painful cough* He's probably drinking with her, kissing her, *hack* making love to her. *spits blood* They're probably in bed right now, all warm skin and soft sheets. *more coughing* He's probably the happiest he's ever been. Much better than taking me to bed. Why would he want me anyway? I'm falling apart. *wracking cough and wheezing* So this is fine. This is fine. I'm fine. *coughs up more blood* I'm Fine." Fucking hilarious.

I love how much they're the same person. The only difference in their perspectives are their life experiences. They're both stubborn as the day is long, single-minded, principled, prone to fixation and overworking, desperate to be of use, to contribute, and utterly useless without each other. They get fascinated by the same things, but will gravitate towards different applications, different ends. They both have strong and meaningful relationships with women that are/were potentially romantic. They're both miserable when they're alone and their thinking will warp without someone to talk to. Loneliness haunts Jayce just as much as it haunts Viktor. It's just that Jayce came from a loving home and people were willing to give him a chance. Jayce learned how to be charming because he was expected to be charming, he had places to go and be charming. Viktor pulled himself out of abject poverty and fought for half the chances Jayce was given out of sheer brilliance and determination. Viktor has always had himself and no one else, he knows what he can do on his own, but his whole world changed when he found someone he could do it with. And discovered there was much more they could do together than he'd ever be able to do alone. There's nothing worse than being alone again after you've found that. They both know this.

Ugh, more later but, sdkfjhskjdhfkjsadfhjksda THEM

[phantom-of-the-501st]

Thoughts on TBB 3x15

Here we go... one last time

SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT

Honestly thought I was going to be late to the episode but I actually work up at 8:01 am today so I am just a couple mins behind everyone else.

Am I prepared? Absolutely not.

Well that's an ominous noise. Always a good way to start 😰

The Kiner soundtrack is popping off as usual

I just need Hemlock to die

Indispensable? I'm not sure about that, mate. A lot of people have realised the Empire don't need them and I'm fairly certain you are on the list of people who can be ditched

Hahahahahaha the way the droid just starts looming behind her is kinda hilarious

OMEGA'S THEME 😭

Wrecker, bud, be careful...

Look at Omega sneaking around. She's so grown up! 🥲

ZILLOBEAST TIME

"Because that's exactly what I'd do" He's such a proud mum

THE WAY THE TROOPERS COME FLYING OUT OF THE FOG

"Clone Force 99 died with Tech`' well there goes my heart. I think this also explains why we haven't really heard the Batch theme since season 2. That theme was for CF 99 and if that doesn't truly exist anymore...

"It's what I deserve" CROSSHAIR DON'T DO THIS TO ME

"Echo's handiwork or Omega's?" "Omega's." I'M DYING

Omega's theme in this soundtrack is just 🤌

Oh great. We have a whole group of Clone Xs to contend with.

I just need all of the Batch together so that we can get the theme. I know I said earlier that we probably never got it because of a lack of Tech but I still stand by the fact that we deserve to hear it one last time.

These CX soldiers almost feel like a parallel to the Batch. One slightly larger, more hand-to-hand combat oriented soldier, one who fights with blades, a sniper, ONE WHO IS VERY TECH SAVVY 👀

WRECKER AAAAAAHHHH THIS IS NOT GOOD

NOT THE HAND

WTF?!

HELP

NO

THIS IS NOT GOOD 😰

Fuuuuuccckkk Echo's seen them down

"Causing chaos, Havoc 5?" HE'S STILL MAKING QUIPS IN THIS SITUATION I LOVE HIM

"Hey, kid. And... other kids." PLEASE 😭

"We'll meet you there" YOU BETTER DO

Echo and Omega teaming up is everything I ever needed ❤️‍🩹

Hemlock needs to die a slow, painful death

ECHO'S SPEECH FEELS LIKE THE SPEECH HE AND FIVES GAVE DURING THE ATTCK ON KAMINO I FEEL SICK

Rampart looking sus...

This feels like this isn't going as terribly as it could be and that scares me

Aw ☹️ bye, Nala Se. I never really loved you but it's sad to see you go

HAHAHAHAHA FUCK YOU, RAMPART

AAAAAAAHHHH ECHO GOT STABBED

You know what I said 2 seconds ago about it not being terrible? I think I spoke too soon...

YES WRECKER

I'm not liking the position Echo is stuck in rn. That stresses me out 😥

We're not exactly in top form but hey, an attempt is being made

ECHO BE CAREFUL

Soooo... I get the feeling CX-2 isn't Tech...

AW NO SCORCH

FUCK YES!!! Bye Hemlock 👋

THE LOOK ON CROSSHAIR'S FACE WHEN SHE HUGS HIM AAAAAHHHH

Tarkin is not going to be a happy bunny

Oop we got a Project Stardust mention

THE SHOW ENDING WITH THEM ON PABU??? LIKE AN ACTUAL SOMEWHAT HAPPY ENDING???

I'm crying

Actually sobbing

That shot of them all sat by the tree 😭😭😭

A FUCKING EPILOGUE KMN

I can't breath

SHE REMINDS ME OF PHEE AAAAHHH

GONKY!!! 🥹

OLD HUNTER?!

Omega is joining the Rebellion? 🥺

Crosshair, Hunter and Wrecker all got to live to an old age in relative peace I'm in so many tears rn

Okay but if Echo isn't with the others at this point then where is he??? PLEASE TELL ME HE'S STILL AROUND

TECH'S GOGGLES?!

I'm not okay on any level

Okay, so overall, I'm relatively satisfied with the ending. I also cried about as much as I would have done if they all died so my emotions are still all over the place. Do I think every question we had came to a satisfying conclusion? Not quite. But I think we tied up enough loose ends for me to be content.

And I'm happy they got a somewhat happy ending. Knowing that they get to live a life in relative peace makes me happy, and we know that Hunter, Wrecker and Crosshair at least make it another few years. Omega joining the Rebellion also seems apt. As an Echo girly I unfortunately don't feel quite as secure with where we left off. I don't have the same level of closure that I do with the others because we know that around this point in time, he isn't with Rex. But he also isn't with the Batch either. I hope we get to see more of him in future projects because I don't quite feel satisfied with this being the end of his story. He's doing too much for it to stop there.

Also... we were wrong about Tech. The level of delusion we carried throughout this season, my god. 😭 But it means I'm confused by some of their choices. The way they focused on being savvy with technology, the way he moves being similar to Tech, FUCKING DOMICILE??? Like, they have to have known that we would all go that way with our theories so why??? If it wasn't him they why was he written the way he was? I refuse to believe everything we thought was purely out of delusion. Does this mean I have issues with the way Tech's story ended? Yes. But overall I think the show wrapped up fairly well.

I'll try and drop some more thoughts later down the line once I've pulled myself together a bit, but for now I can say that I am content. Completely satisfied? Not really, but definitely content.

[vanosslirious]

BBS Dialogue Prompts #401

BBS / Frouse Dialogue Prompts & Sentence Starters: [ 8 ]

SMII7Y

Great, even more distractions.

Maybe not that close.

We're hunting bears.

I'm also still in the water.

There's so many cars!

I just crop dusted every single one of you, and I'm so proud.

Here we go again, bro, I swear to God.

You know what, I owe you.

Fuck you, you tried to kill me!

Are you invisible, is that the Grim Reaper?

I thought I would never see this again because I fucking hate it!

This one looking like a loss.

What is happening, what just happened?

Perhaps later.

That was sick, that was the best play I've ever made.

My script said, 'look to camera B', so I did.

How am I surviving?

That's the beginning of the end right here.

Takes him this long to join and he gets hit with that.

You literally said that, I heard you.

GRIZZY

Yeah, kinda saw that a mile away.

What do you mean by that?

You're letting him get away!

Yeah, yeah, move on.

What are we witnessing?

Yup, I make my own fun.

Man, will you hit the breaks!

You love tapped me, how does that make sense?

He's gonna jump off the cliff, he's gonna jump!

You have never disconnected before until right now.

BLARG

Hey, the phone's over here if you want to try to come find it?

I got a gun!

Oh, wait, he did say that.

Shut up, you don't hear nothing.

Oh my God, he did it again.

Why is that one so fast?

Oh my God, I'm dying in a closet!

Every fucking time.

Can somebody help a motherfucker, I be stuck for real.

You gotta do what?

BIGPUFFER

No, it's not, cause you're right in front of me, there's no way you'd admit that while you're right in front of me still!

Am I about to test this?

We were both dancing in front of you.

I didn't know either, that was the first time we saw each other.

You did it before, bro.

That was the worst fucking thing I've ever seen.

I'm so sick of you.

Why would you—like I need your help!

Now he listens, that's crazy.

Oh, I left immediately.

FOURZER0SEVEN

That's fucked up, I worked at Wendy's.

Go, run him over.

I'm falling eternally!

It's not looking up.

I don't know where the fuck I'm going!

How do we get him off the fucking roof?

Yep, anything for you guys.

He's in the same spot as last time!

Don't you fucking worry about it.

I didn't know there was a fucking trap door!

NOGLA

Oh food, I deserve this!

Oh, that would make sense to explain…

Sorry, it was completely fucked.

What are you shooting?

What region is he, US or US West?

Yeah, but I still want to eat it!

You have to cook it on both sides.

Bro, are you fucking kidding me?

He threw it over the fucking fence!

I know how to flip a burger.

TERRORISER

Not after the restraining order.

Are you fucking serious?

Life's a bitch!

I think my thing is broken.

Please, stop, please!

Okay, what about what I'm doing.

Yeah, I'm upstairs.

We murdered everyone!

Don't turn around, don't turn around!

Not on our screen.

VANOSSGAMING

Hey, let me in, let me in!

I do want to be in the car.

Nice, not the route I would've taken, but very, very good.

How is this car still running?

How are we up here?

Oh shit, I need light.

Who's bleeding out?

How did you manage?

I'm going to die immediately.

Get in the car, get in the more powerful car.

[persepinas]

For day 25 of kinktober, I am sharing a second playlist. This one contains more r&b and slower, sensual songs plus my usual dark and religious blasphemy music. @vampirefest

I give to you:

Vampire fest kinktober, come again. 21 songs.

01) The Weeknd/The Hills

I only love it when you touch me, not feel me

When I'm fucked up, that's the real me

When I'm fucked up, that's the real me, babe

Hills have eyes, the hills have eyes

Who are you to judge?

02) Sabrina Claudio/Belong to You

It ain't strictly physical but I know that

I wanna lay where you lay

So I think you should fuck with me, yeah

You don't want to take me out the street, yeah

I can give you everything you need, yeah

Need you in my reach, yeah

03) Doja Cat/Casual

Take it off, follow me now

Let me in, don't shut me out

Don't tell me you love me if

That's not how it really is

04) Rihanna/Needed Me

Didn't they tell you that I was a savage

Fuck your white horse and a carriage

Bet you never could imagine

Never told you you could have it

You needed me

Oooh, you needed me

To feel a little more, and give a little less

Know you hate to confess

But baby oooh, you needed me

05) NBDY/Lights Out

When the lights out

I come alive when the nights out

I don't wanna see anymore

I only wanna hear the sounds of, uh

When we make love

Ain't no need to keep the lights on

I'ma fuck you with the lights out

I'ma love you 'til your lights out

06) Halsey/Not Afraid Anymore

I am not afraid anymore

Standing in the eye of the storm

Ready to face this, dying to taste this, sick sweet warmth

I am not afraid anymore

I want what you got in store

I'm ready to feed now, get in your seat now

And touch me like you never

And push me like you never

And touch me like you never

'Cause I am not afraid, I am not afraid anymore

No no no

07) Hozier/Eat Your Young

I'm starving, darling

Let me put my lips to something

Let me wrap my teeth around the world

Start carving, darling

I wanna smell the dinner cooking

I wanna feel the edges start to burn

Honey, I wanna race you to the table

If you hesitate, the getting is gone

I won't lie, if there's something to be gained

There's money to be made, whatever's still to come

08) Ari Abdul/You

Say your name like a ritual

Your body is something spiritual

Oh no

Don't you know you could save my soul

Feelin' your power head to toe

Feelin' your body head to toe

You're so divine

You're in your prime

It's love at first sight

Won't be satisfied

'Til I know you're mine

09) Isabel LaRosa/More Than Friends

My heart's racin' now, I just can't take a breath

I'm catchin' you starin' again

I swear all this shit isn't just in my head

I know that we're more than

Friends, friends, friends

I know that we're more than

Friends, friends, friends

I need

Need your hands on my waist, please

Save me

God, don't let me die waitin'

10) Tazzy/Fantasize (Ariana Grande cover)

I fantasize about it all the time

If you were mine

I'd give this pussy to you, nine-to-five

Five-to-nine

Tryin' to behave, but I'm feelin'

Some type of (Way) way

That just ain't me

11) Lilyisthatyou/FMRN

I got this aching and itching to be in submission

I got this burning desire to set you on fire

Oh, I hope my whole room goes down

You say swallow the fire, I'll choke it down

Say anything when you're around

Say anything and I'll make that sound like

(Make that sound like)

Can you come fuck me right now?

Parents are home, but my bed's too loud

I can take it on the ground

If I get too loud, you can shut my mouth

12) Aaliyah/Rock the Boat

Boy, you know you make me float

Boy, you really get me high

Ooh, I feel like I'm on dope

'Cause you, you serve me on a regular (you serve me on a regular)

Boy, you need to tie this rope

Oh, before we drift any deeper (before we drift any deeper)

Baby, now hold me close

Let's take this overboard now

13) Ashnikko/Slumber Party

My girl look like Wednesday Addams

Eyes go black when she orgasms

Hide your back, she likes to stab them

My butt cheeks, she likes to grab

Matching pajama birthday suits

Her spit tastes just like Juicy Fruit

She do that thing she usually do

Spell my name with her tongue, like (uh)

14) Dove Cameron/Boyfriend

The universe must have divined this

What am I gonna do? Not grab your wrist?

I could be a better boyfriend than him

I could do the shit that he never did

Up all night, I won't quit

Thinking I'm gonna steal you from him

I could be such a gentleman

Plus all my clothes would fit

15) Bad Omens/The Death of Peace of Mind

You're in the walls that I made with crosses and frames

Hanging upside down

For granted, in vain, I took everything

I ever cared about

I miss the way you say my name

The way you bend, the way you break

Your makeup running down your face

The way you fuck, the way you taste

16) CORPSE/E-girls are ruining my life

Choke me like you hate me, but you love me

Lowkey wanna date me when you fuck me (uwu)

Touch me with the lights off and my chains on

Baby, I'm not the right one you should wait on

17) Florence + the Machine/Bedroom Hymns

You had Jesus on your breath

And I caught Him in mine

Sweating out confessions

The undone and the divine

'Cause this is his body, this is his love

Such selfish prayers and I can't get enough

18) King Princess/Holy

Honey, on your knees when you look at me

I'm dressed like a fucking queen and you're begging, "please"

I rule with the velvet tongue

And my dress undone

And I'll get you lost but I'm having fun

Holy, holy, holy, yeah

Holy, holy, holy, holy

19) Imogen Heap/Come Here Boy

I know that my face

Is only too familiar to your sleep

I can see it in your eyes

And I can tell by your body heat

Why are you taking so long?

You need to come and find me, honey

To set your mind at rest

And let your dreams run free

20) BANKS/Godless

I'm into the darkness

That you feel a worse divine

'Cause I felt the power when I laid down by your side

I felt the rhythm, I felt the fever in your mind

I couldn't save you, but at least I say I tried

If your love was ever mine

It would stay with me tonight

I'm praying, praying

You can see it in my eyes

There's a raise that still reminds me

I'm waiting, waiting

21) Paris Paloma/The Fruits

My love, are you the devil?

I would worship you instead of him

I have no time for confession

For I'm too busy committing sins

My love, you're something special

I've never met someone like you

You'd make me fall from heaven

But I know just what I do

Come again? ❤️‍🔥 Spotify link here. 🔥

[redjennies]

so we're sitting in your truck smoking a joint because you're California sober now outside our dead friend's memorial to get away from my second most evil ex and after all these years you find the courage to ask what our deal is because you noticed how uncomfortable he made me back then too and when I (kinda, sorta) tell you the broad strokes, you make a little joke to ease the tension and finally say "man, I wish you'd told me these things back then. it explains a lot." and I don't really know what to say because there's so much I wish I'd done different. I wish I'd talked to you about how much I liked learning about local birds and shown you my art journals filled with sketches of kestrels and fat little wrens and that Horned Grebe I saw by the lake once. I wish I'd told you about my parents and my brothers and how much we used to move around when you told me funny stories about your sister and how you grew up so backwoods that you didn't really have a lot of friends your age or know how to fit in at school. I wish I'd told you that the most fun I ever had with you wasn't some wild story our friends still tell from time to time at the bar but that afternoon we cleaned up your apartment after a weekend of partying and made that giant stack of empty liquor bottles and beer cans you later called "an embarrassing testament to [your] alcoholism and possibly undiagnosed autism" and how cute it was that you smiled like a little boy when it ended up taller than you because you'd never successfully made a stack that high. I wish when you asked why I shook so much and noticed how sick and thin I was getting, I had told you that I was scared my heart was failing and I was dying instead of waving it off because for all your faults, you are the kind of stand up guy who would've taken me to the fucking doctor and helped me pay for it and I could have gotten help for what turned out to be a perfectly treatable condition a lot sooner. I wish I'd been kinder to you and been more vulnerable the way I'd been vulnerable with him instead of always trying to play it cool while I waited for the other shoe to drop. but I don't know how to say all that without making it sound like I'm still in love with you (I am probably but not like that, y'know?) and besides we're both seeing other people so I'd just be making it weirder than it already is, so I just make my own little (kinda, sorta) joke about being a heinous bitch back then and you agree but say to my credit I was only a heinous bitch for a month before I calmed down and apologized and how that really meant something to you and I tell you I know what it's like to be that person people feel like they don't have to apologize to because you're "just crazy" therefore deserve every mean thing they say to you. we talk about some other things, how our lives are going now, but before I get out of your truck, I tell you I hope you're happy and your relationship is going well and that your girlfriend treats you right because I think you deserve good things. you smile in that way that always breaks my fucking heart because I know you and I know you're used to being treated like you're just some fuck-up bastard who needs to constantly make up for existing, and you say I'm very sweet and that you hope the same. and as nice as it was to get to spend that moment with you because I'm sure it'll be a long time before we ever have the chance to talk like old friends again, I still wish I'd found the courage to tell you that you're probably the best thing that ever happened to me.

[magnoliamyrrh]

tw: csa, abuse etc. feel free not to answer this, as i know its private!! i also have a very abusive family, i was sexually assaulted by my brother in law when i was 15/16 and he is still in the family. my stupid sister decided to go ahead and have another baby with him even after she knew lol so like. i just bid my time until i can tell everyone to fuck off. i dont have direct contact w him, but i have to deal w his stupid children when i visit my parents and my stupid ass sister. obviously my situation is way less dire than yours, but it already kills me inside. ik you mentioned in the past you were trafficked by a family member and was sexually abused by family too, so what im asking is if you still have contact w the person who did it? i got way better after i was able to put distance, but the fact that i know he is still around makes me sick. i wish i could just put a bullet on his head. i wish i could kill him. i wish i could run him over and set out a hit on him. i wish i could kill my fucking sister too, for being a useless piece of shit.

this is just some random info i hope you find funny in a dark sad way like i do. i cant be around my sister for long that it raises my blood pressure to the point i get nose bleeds that wont stop. my bp goes like 23 or 20/18 or something like that. crazy high. literally puts me under so much stress i am at risk of a fucking heart attack from being around her cunt ass.

hope u can run away from them and make your own life at some point. wishing you the best xoxo

hey anon!! tks again for sending the message and im truly sorry to hear abt what happened to you & the betrayal of your sister as well. its always horrible when women even moreso family members who should care about you choose to protect predatory and shit men over u 😵‍💫 happens way too often and you have every right to be angry af at her bc its disgusting and selfish enabling behavior. hope karma is gonna hit them soon and youll get to witness it all lol ,,,, and girl 😭 u gotta be Careful i dont want u to die of a heart attack like this it aint worth it 🤣😭😭 but i getchu!! the sorta stress from this shit can take a Hugeee toll on ur body tbh i think thats why i feel so exhausted too all the time lately its the stress and physical toll of flashbacks and shit

to answer ur question it was my bio dad and for the most part i aint got contact w him no more. we're in two different countries now which helps for sure but when i go back to my birth country its almost always an issue when it comes to seeing him. he used to show up uninvited or my family would force him around and shit. but uh then for some years tho not too many that stopped happening but at the end of last year i had to see him because i wanted to see my grand geandmother who was sick and potentially dying and he was there. i chose to put up with it because i would have regretted not seeing her more. the whole thing was,,,, A Lot and exhausting and triggering and since then ive kinda been in the trauma trenches again 🤷‍♀️ being around him for that long for the first time in years definetely set sometimes off. but. yea. its hard. its hard to avoid because of that and i probably wont feel truly free from it until the day when he fucking croaks ://// which i keep waiting for. and rn i live w my mom and bio dad which isnt fantastic either bc we have a rough history too tho nothing to the same degree, its just another thing that stresses me out tho and that i wanna get away from

tks for the message girl again i appreciate uuu <3 and it does make me feel better to know someone also feels similar even tho i wish u had never been through this. take care of urself ok!!! one day were both gonna get out and we wont have to b around ppl who traumatized us anymore and well b able to breathe!!!!

[destinygoldenstar]

Does AnalyzGolden Hate Yul? I Can't Tell... *Reaction Compilation Part 2*

<< Part 1 of Yul Hate

I got nothing better to do, I'm honestly pretty tired. Tired of Yul.

But I'll power through because why not? We're already here and y'all enjoy my content.

(Did Yul make me almost drop the season? I don't remember.)

***

He still has the black eye XD

I LOVE that he kept that.

I LOVE SEEING A MARK OF SUFFERING ON YUL'S FACE :)

"We managed to kick out the circus freak, but I doubt that strategy will ever work again."

Yeah, it's almost like you did not think this plan through.

What a great villain... /s

"You know, some medical emergency, it should be enough to get Aiden kicked off the show."

OH SO YOU WANT TO KILL SOMEONE?!

Wow. You keep IMPRESSING me on how despicable and disgusting you are.

(I SAY THAT LIKE I DIDN'T ENCOURAGE KILLING CONTESTANTS IN ANOTHER POST. I AM A DAMN HYPOCRITE.)

(That post, especially those portions, were designed NOT to be taken too seriously, btw. I don't actually endorse murder.)

"Do you really think the bald headed girl would be a problem for us?"

Lake, kick Yul's ass.

"Wait, are you saying you're going to poison Aiden to get him out of the game?"

"Uh, what did I just say? Do I need to spell it out word for word?"

"Lying? Sure. Manipulate? Whenever you want. But poison someone? That is way too much."

Well well well, good for James for having some moral decency.

Remember kids, poisoning somebody is ALWAYS WRONG. No matter the motive, YOU SHOULD NEVER POISON PEOPLE.

...unless heir name is Yul Kim. Then it's okay.

Imagine if James turns this on him and kills Yul.

GOD THAT'LL BE EPIC AND REDEEM JAMES.

***

"How hard can it be to find a stupid piece of wood?"

GEE, I DUNNO MAN, IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE IN A FOREST OF TREES THAT ARE MADE OF WOOD.

"In a forest?"

Yeah. EXACTLY.

"Oh? What do we have here?"

Oh no. Don't find the idol. DO NOT FIND THE IDOL. I SWEAR TO GOD.

What is that?

***

SHE'S USING YUL AS A STOOL XD

OKAY ALL IS FORGIVEN.

Okay now I'm actually kinda liking this. This is fun.

***

"Hello friend, can we sit here?"

NO.

"Enough!"

YEAH TELL HIM OFF.

OH MY GOD GET OFF HIM.

"Don't say such toxic things."

YOU CAN FUCK OFF YUL.

NO JAMES IS ACTUALLY DOING IT?!

WHERE WAS THE "I DRAW THE LINE WITH POISON" THING YOU SAID?

"Lying? Sure. Manipulate? Whenever you want. But poison someone? That is way too much."

"I can't wait to see his reaction."

The reaction of him DYING? Yeah, OKAY. YOU SICK BASTARD.

So how is this gonna play out if Aiden is dead?

WAIT...

WAIT A DAMN MINUTE

OH MY GOD IS HE POISONED?!

OH MY GOD PLEASE. PLEASE LET ME BE RIGHT. OH MY GOD.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS

OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD YEEESS!!!!!

MY PRAYERS GOT ANSWERED!!!!

YOU STUPID SHIT! YOU GRABBED THE WRONG PLATE!!

I am watching a dude vomit and suffer and I am GRINNING EAR TO EAR AND CHEERING FOR IT.

"Oh, it must be the mushroom he ate in the woods."

And James is gonna play it off as though he did nothing XD

"James! What did you do?!"

"I did what Golden wanted!"

"You were supposed to give the mushroom to Aiden, not me, idiot!"

SO JAMES REALLY JUST WENT OUT OF HIS WAY TO KILL THIS GUY. OH MY GOD XD

"I don't poison people. I draw the line there. UNLESS HIS NAME IS YUL, THEN I'LL GLADLY DO IT."

OH GOD HE'S COLLAPSED... this is actually very serious...

"Now that he mentions it, the cameras caught Yul holding a mushroom when they were looking for the totem."

AND THEY SOMEHOW DIDN'T SEE JAMES WAS WITH HIM OR THEIR TALK.

OH MY GOD XD

"Yul is out of the game anyway. He had three votes."

XD

AINT NO WAY.

SO YUL WOULD HAVE BEEN OUT NO MATTER WHAT. BUT JAMES DECIDED THAT WASN'T ENOUGH AND DECIDED TO KILL HIM.

OH MY GOD. XD

THANK YOU! THANK YOU TOTAL DRAMA GODS FOR SAVING ME!!!

THANK YOU FOR ELIMINATING YUL EARLY IN THE SEASON!!

THIS IS REDEEMING A WHOLE LOT FOR ME.

They're ACTUALLY sending him to the hospital. Holy shit...

I don't really care cause it's Yul. But DAMN.

A CONTESTANT ACTUALLY KILLED SOMEONE.

"So Yul was planning to poison me, but you decided to poison him."

"My guy, so are one sick bastard."

"Make no mistake, I only did it to get rid of Yul."

Honestly, JAMES IS REDEEMED.

JAMES IS COMPLEELY REDEEMED OF EVERYTHING HE HAS DONE IN THE PAST.

JAMES IS THE BEST CHARACTER OF ALL TIME.

HE IS THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO HUMANITY.

TO THINK I EVER DISSED YOU IN THE PAST.

FORGIVE ME.

"Poisoning someone is too much... unless that someone is Yul."

HE USED THE SAME LOGIC. THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW HE DID THIS FOR ME.

JAMES DID THIS FOR ME.

"Don't mention it, Golden. It was a well fought battle, but I did it for honor and for a better spot on your list."

HALLELUJAH, I FEEL A GREAT SENSE OF RELIEF.

I thought I would have to put up with Yul ALL SEASON.

BUT THIS WAS A GREAT TWIST THAT I AM VERY HAPPY ABOUT.

Holy gosh, I feel so relieved. GOD I HATED HIS CHARACTER SO MUCH.

Did James go too far? Probably. But you know what? He earned points from ME.

***

At least I can watch this show more peacefully, so I'm not bombarded with bigotry every minute! I can hear my conscience again!

Because yeah, last episode's elimination, subverted my expectations in a way that pleased me.

I'm very interested in what's gonna happen next, considering Yul is out now. I mean, slayed or not, James is still an antagonistic character, so I'm ASSUMING he's taking the mantle as villain.

***

Oh, no recap this time? We're just gonna...

Aw, I wanted to watch Yul die again :(

***

"Fortunately, Yul had to leave the game due to a medical emergency."

Yeah, FORTUNATELY XD

I love that nobody misses him at all.

(Even the characters hate Yul)

"Eh, you know, we don't know if he made it or not, but he was kind of a douche, so I should be worried, but I'm just not, you know...?"

"Well, I hope he doesn't get well soon."

XD

YEAH SEE?! XD

DON'T WE ALL?

Idk how many Yul stans there are. All the Yul stans probably blocked me.

"I never liked Yul. His personality and way of expressing himself were horrible."

Why didn't you vote him out then? When you had the chance.

You could've allied with Kai or Connor, and not much about your gameplay changes.

"But all the hate he caused kept me and the girls safe. It was good strategy."

THAT'S your justification?

You and your girls weren't in ANY danger. And Kai would be easy to persuade for a fourth vote. You have majority.

***

"I had some differences with James, but what he did for me in the previous ceremony makes me believe that, deep down inside, he's not that bad."

"I mean, HE KILLED YUL FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. How can I NOT respect the hell out of him?!"

***

"What he did to Yul, it didn't seem like it was part of a strategy."

Oh no, THAT was different. THAT was personal.

That was just bias against Yul right there.

"Rather, I would say that he was protecting you."

Yeah, that too.

But mostly bias against Yul.

"If what he wants is an alliance, wasn't Yul a better option?"

HELL NO.

IN WHAT WORLD WOULD YUL BE A GOOD OPTION FOR AN ALLY?

***

"Damn! I knew that if Yul left, attention would fall on us!"

XD

I love that his response is to blame Yul.

It's YUL'S fault that Tess got eliminated here.

I don't care what everyone says. Hunter said it. BLAME YUL FOR TESS GOING HOME.

***

Man, if only Yul was still here. Then I could watch him get killed.

That would've been an excuse to keep him, at least.

***

"I feel like he's trying to manipulate me and vote her out."

YES. THAT'S WHAT HE'S DOING. YOU ARE ON POINT.

WHO SIDED WITH YUL? NOT KAROL.

...well to be fair, James killed him. BUT THAT'S THE ONE REDEEMABLE THING.

***

I'm trying to think why I'm against Karol getting hospitalized but celebrating Yul's poisoning? XD

I don't even like Karol all that much. Why am I celebrating Yul going to the hospital but feeling bad for Karol? They're both antagonists!

UH... let's go with female rep. WE NEED MORE SOLID FEMALE REPRESENTATION IN THESE TYPES OF SHOWS, GALS WHO DON'T GET PUSHED AROUND SO EASILY.

SO THEREFORE: IT'S OKAY IF KAROL ANTAGONIZES PEOPLE. BUT NOT YUL.

AND SHE CARED ABOUT THE ANIMALS. SO THAT MAKES IT OKAY.

(PS: PLEASE DON'T TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY, THE REASON IS SIMPLY BIAS AGAINST YUL THE INDIVIDUAL AND FICTIONAL MEDIA INVESTMENT. IF THIS WAS REAL LIFE I WOULD NEVER PRAISE IT NO MATTER WHO YOU WERE.)

***

"What about you, James? Do you feel bad for getting rid of Karol twice? Poisoning Yul? Manipulating Aiden?"

DAMN SHE GOT HIM.

She's also quite right XD

"So wait, what is the logic here? You can get people to the hospital and get away with it as a game strategy excuse, but I can't do anything remotely similar to that? I SMELL MISOGYNY IN THIS EDIT."

"I mean, the Yul thing was badass, but other than that, at least I didn't put anyone in lethal danger!"

Let Riya kill someone cowards /j

(And then the end of the episode happened)

***

OH DAMMIT HE SURVIVED! NOOOOO!!!

Goddammit, I thought I would never see him again!

I mean I guessed he probably wouldn't die, cause otherwise James would be IN JAIL, but I still didn't want to see him on screen again.

Bring him back and I am gonna fucking SCREAM.

XD

NOBODY LIKES JAMES. I LOVE THAT.

I mean I understand Karol and Connor.

Allyson? Tess? That's interesting. Wonder why? I don't think they've had a single conversation with any of these three characters.

Why the fuck is Yul with Aiden? You wanted to kill him!

"I'm routing for Aiden! I'm routing for him to die!"

I can see Yul being transphobic.

I hate that Yul is back...

***

"Actually, because you're cancelled online, my reputation has started to improve."

OH FUCK OFF. COME ON.

THAT right there, is the WORST part of this.

James was so predatory that a fucking BIGGOT, an OPEN BIGGOT mind you, looks BETTER to these people than him.

YOU FUCKED UP JAMES. GIVING YUL SPOTLIGHT LIKE THAT?

"I'd support you if you didn't poison me. Fuck you for that loser."

James is probably thinking "Damn... I should've just killed this bitch."

***

And then we cut to these freaks doing freaky things.

"And what are you freaks supposed to be doing?"

...

NEVERMIND, YOU TWO CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.

"Do you seriously think Aiden will win because of that?"

Watch it actually help him win.

I want Aiden to win now just to spite Yul.

"Winning is a concept beyond our understanding, and it's not always getting what we want, but what we need."

And that's why I want Riya to win. Cause she WON'T win.

"Why do you look homeless? I mean, more than usual."

GO BACK TO THE HOSPITAL.

"You better shut up if you don't want another black eye."

GET HIM GIRL!!! GET HIS ASS!!!!

Yul, I think a black eye would look real good on you. It looked great last time.

***

XD

YOU KNOW IT'S BAD WHEN I AGREE WITH YUL.

YOU KNOW IT'S BAD.

***

Why are these guys meditating????

Whatever.

Yul is alone and pissed and everyone hates him and that's what matters.

***

"NOW LET'S HAVE A PARTY!!!"

"AND YUL IS NOT INVITED!!!"

So In Conclusion...

FUCK YUL. ALL MY HOMIES HATE YUL.

[wispythreads]

Replaying Mass Effect 1 Thoughts

Prologue (Female Shepard, Spacer, Sole Survivor, Infiltrator, Paragon-ish):

I'm again wishing for a version of events where Nihlus's plan is what actually occurs in the game, through him somehow surviving Saren... he seemed really cool, I really would've liked to have learned more about him.

fuck it's been long enough that the creepy bits of Eden Prime are still fucking creepy holy hell

What do you mean Ashely can't wear heavy armor yet???

Kaidan... Um... *wrapping in bubble wrap* ... *assesses* ... *wraps off one more layer for good measure* let's try to stop you from dying so much, yeah?

The Citadel - Expose Saren:

Preaching Hanar vs. Very Tired C-Sec Turian who cannot understand why anyone would be acting outside a rule-abiding, orderly manner is still such a fun little quick and easy quest. "Bro I get it just take the credits you need for a license."

GarrusGarrusGarrusGarrusGarrusGarrusGarrusGarrusGarrus!!!!!

God my Salarian bias is already showing we're barely in this game. Chorban is cute.

Hey a named Turian in this bar can I talk to you? *Attempts to interact, nothing happens* No... ok. *loops around again after conducting business, walks past him* "She left me. Just like that." (said in this most mournful, sad, pathetic voice) Ooooh my god =< (wish I could just. Turn around and give him some company for a bit.)

(Picking up Garrus from the Med Clinic, right after he responds to me asking "Why do you want to take down Saren?") He sounds so mad and so personally offended that he couldn't find anything about Saren during his investigation, I don't mean it in a demeaning way but I want to laugh listening to him.

I get +2 Renegade just because I told Garrus he had a nice shot- y'know what worth it. He did. Yeah it was dangerous but what else was he gonna do? It looked sick and he looked sick doing it.

What do you mean Garrus can't wear medium armor yet?!?!

How often does my poor paragon Shepard wince as total strangers immediately bring up Akuze and how remarkable it was that she survived, while trying to keep her friendly smile now plastered on her face? How uncomfortable it must be, for every new acquaintance to immediately remind you of the worst moment of your life, a moment you’d never want to go through ever again. How often does she have nightmares about it, especially considering how it seems no one will let her forget?

"Holy shit maybe veteran mode has some kick to it. Jesus my poor guys." (The bar fight was. Not great. A lot of enemies coming on either side with minimal cover for everyone. Garrus and Wrex went down fast multiple times before I finally got the hang of coordinating attacks and giving out orders)

Misc. Citadel Quests:

"You're with the Alliance? My brother's a private back on earth!" Hey yeah I remember you hello again :) wait your voice sounds like I've heard it from somewhere outside Mass Effect, where have I- !!! Tandi!! Hello hello!!

She is too close too close there is no need for this personal space personal space back OFF (just. Seizing up all stiff-like and uncomfortable. There is no need for the Consort to get up on me like that while trying to get me to help her.)

I feel bad making Paragon responses during personal talks with Garrus in Normandy. Especially the very first one: "Maybe I'll finally be able to do what I want for a change" being met with such a harsh "If you put innocents at risk than no, we do things the right way, not the fast way, got it?" like… I still have his "I wasn't- yes, Commander." echoing in my head, like that's not what I meant by "maybe." Garrus has a point, sometimes rules get in the way of being able to do the right thing, and as long as we're on the same page about that and respect that there's a reason there are rules in the first place, we're golden.

(Jenna Quest) Chellick getting mad at Shepard and going "with all due respect Shepard what the hell were you thinking?" is 100% appropriate, I was also just head in my hands seeing there were no discreet options for Shepard to address Jenna with. "You could've blown Jenna's cover!" - Me and Chellik shaking Shepard by the shoulders. Garrus you were right with me, why didn't you say something? You should know better!

(Getting flashbacks to the friendzone quickly dragging me into the romance zone like quicksand Kaidan I like you but not like that stop game I chose "Yeah I do talk with everyone like this" don't still make it seem like I'm flirting with the man by adding "I don't always enjoy it with everyone" bro!!!)

Feros:

… Everyone is acting incredibly suspicious around this camp. Me asking for a little bit of information about the colony only to constantly be redirected to speak with the leader about it in either a firm or nervous way… Fai Dan and Arcelia when I say the colonists are acting strange I'm not talking about the obvious PTSD of civilians thrust into a warzone, I'm talking about how no one is willing to look me in the eye and talk to me about the colony they're all a part of, as if they're not allowed to, as if they might let something slip that they shouldn't.

(I completely forgot about the details of the Thorian plot. Thanks brain, for once your terrible memory gave me a benefit, allowing me to relive something cool again.)

Misc. Quests again:

The last two worlds I went on (Amaranthine and the moon Presrop) were both absolutely gorgeous??? I was only there for a short sidequest???

(Finished all the side quests I could find on my own (including Tali + Wrex + Garrus's personal quests) and returning to the Citadel to find the last Keeper needing to be scan/tell Garoth his brother is dead) Ok I've got a lot of equipment and a lot of money. Can I please have some decent armor for Garrus finally so that he stops dying on me? (Morlan's Famous Shop) Huh. Mercenary armor for turians? I wonder what red looks like on Garrus. (buys it, equips it) Holy shit that looks cool!!

I'm very sorry for your loss, Garoth, I wish I could've been the bearer of good ne- I KNEW you were in the Citadel Tower! (Scanned the last keeper. Happy victory music.)

Noveria:

Garrus: Commander, we should bring Liara with us. If anyone would know about her mother, it'd be her. Me: Story-wise, yes, it'd make more sense to bring Liara. But then I'd have to leave either you or Wrex on the ship =( (I'm planning on actually doing a run with my biotic pure paragon m!shephard with Liara and Tali as my designated squad mates later)

"Lorik you are so very fun to talk with :)" Him trying to use a human expression that just doesn't sound right, either because it's one I haven't heard or is just too far off from what he's trying to allude to, "fly in the lotion." Asking me to "try not to get blood on the carpet," commenting about how "humans are so full of questions, I should write a book about it while I've got the time," and ""Let me go?" Do humans view conversation as a form of imprisonment? Maybe that's why so few are willing to stop and sit down…" he's neat I like 'im.

Omfg Anoleis is such a fucking asshole. Salarian bias does still make it very funny to listen to him, rather than upsetting. His fast "Yes, what? What?" as he's being interrupted from whatever business he was doing by his secretary. Him jumping to the conclusion that because I'm a spacer I'm a tax dodger like holy hell dude. Say you're a massive hater without saying you're a hater my god.

After getting ambushed by Geth in the Garage: "Shepard, what did you do?!" ???? "Defended myself?" I love how offended Shepard gets in response we're on the same page like what do you mean, "What did I do???" You think I wanted to be killed by Geth?

Maybe unpopular opinion here but I think it is absolute bullshit that Benevia has to die no matter what. You bring Liara with you? Cool, does nothing. She'll still die, it'll just maybe end up a little more emotional. I don't think enough had happened to really justify her being beyond salvation.

Geth Incursion Side Mission:

Here's the great thing about Wrex: I can be extremely weary and tired and done with the endless waves of enemies, wanting it all to be over already, and then suddenly he'll pipe up with a deep, gravelly, EARNEST laugh and make some comment about how much he's enjoying himself, how much he's going to miss this once the fighting is over, and I'll let the weariness wash off my back and give him a tired smile. Alright. I can handle one more fight.

Virmire:

… (takes deep breath after killing the indoctrinated private Menos Avot that had been pleading to be set free) … He was doomed either way. If I didn't let him out, he'd die in the explosion. It's better to try and save him and be forced to defend myself than to ensure he'd die. It'll be ok.

… I really, really do want to save Kaidan, but that's just… how this goes logically in my head. Ashley feels like she should go with the Salarians, and… and that's a lot more lives that need saving. But god does it suck. How accepting he is of the end. Watching him continuing to struggle against the oncoming Geth, wounded, pressed right up against the bomb that's going to nuke everything around him, watching as the Normandy flies away. And Shepard watching, seeing the explosion for herself. A life she and I chose to die. And the music afterword... it still makes me feel very melancholic and depressed jeez… (the pure!paragon m!shepard will have Kaidan live. I need one playthrough at least that has him survive, even if this path is the one that makes the most sense to me)

Endgame Time Let's Go Woot!

Got myself ungrounded from the Citadel, and I'm endeared by Garrus's little anxious "I can't believe we stole the Normandy…!" Because y'know what, yeah, after I've been playing a very by the book character that he was just a couple missions ago coming around to the idea of and realizing, 'yeah, I am hot headed, and just because it's not the fastest doesn't mean I shouldn't be playing by the rules, I'll get back on C-Sec and become a Spectre,' he has every right to then be asking "After everything you told me… it seems a bit extreme, doesn't it…?" Gosh he wants to be a badass rebel but he is in reality a gosh darn nerd. (said very lovingly)

!!!! AHHHH GET AWAY FROM ME GETAWAYGETAWAYGETAWAY!!!!!!!!!!!! (The reanimated Saren corpse crawling at me on all fours had a. slightly more viscerally horrified reaction than I thought would happen as soon as the game cut from the cinematic back to gameplay.)

Final Thoughts:

I honestly think this game holds up really well for how old it is. There was an annoying glitch on Noveria that made itself known again on Ilos, blocking out interactable objects and moving characters with literal black blocks, but that was an easy fix and didn't effect the actual gameplay too badly.

The art is phenomenal, the combination of artistic choices and lighting and sound design and music scratches that very good itch of what I enjoy about sci-fi. Really great characters, great set up and pay-off in the story, great ending, just a fun time all around.

[bunnakit]

man last twilight hit me particularly hard today and i'm still crying after finishing the episode.

i spent a good chunk of my day at my specialist today and it wasn't great. my disease is getting worse. my weekly shots aren't enough anymore. i'm so tired and i can't stop fucking crying.

my immune system is fucked up, i produce too many white blood cells and those white blood cells have chosen to attack my skin. it leaves me with holes across my body - some of my wounds are now over a year old. when they heal they leave atrophic scarring - but they aren't even healing anymore.

the specialist gasped at the sight of me today. (i'd never seen her before, my state of being was new to her.)

"you're bleeding."

"i know."

"you're bleeding like, a lot."

"i know. i take iron supplements, it's okay."

"it's going to get all over your pants."

"it's okay."

"are you in pain?"

"yes. i'm used to it."

"are you in a lot of pain?"

"yes. it's okay."

she was so concerned, so alarmed, and i couldn't help but just smile and laugh it off. if i don't i'll end up like i am now, sobbing at my desk hidden away from my family because there's nothing they can do for me, they'll just hug me and say they're so sorry, they wish there was something they could do. but there's nothing anyone can do, this is just my life now.

"how often do you take your shots?"

"every friday."

"the recommended schedule for that medicine is once every two weeks"

"yes, they increased the frequency for me because i'm stage 3"

"and you never miss a dose?"

"no, i take it on schedule every week."

"i don't think it's working anymore."

i try to be strong about it, most of the time i am - this is just my life now, wallowing about it isn't going to fix it. i'm stage 3, the only thing that will fix it is a cure, but that doesn't exist yet.

i recently had to buy those washable period underwear because one of my year old wounds just won't stop bleeding and i'm so tired of washing the blood out of my pants. i've gotten so good at preventing bloodstains. (a mix of dawn dish soap, water, and baking soda as a pre-soak works wonders)

i bought an antimicrobial soap in bulk last week to prevent infection. it dries out my skin, but it's not as bad as the diluted bleach baths. i have to start using 10% benzoyl peroxide as a body wash. "do you have a fever?"

"no, i check regularly."

"your wounds are really deep, we're worried about you potentially going septic."

"i'm very careful and keep them clean."

i buy bandages and tape in bulk. my allergic reaction to the tape adhesives are the lesser of two evils. sometimes they get so bad i bleed, but it's just an abrasion. it's okay.

and now i have to take another round of antibiotics that make me nauseous.

and they're changing my medication. i'm 'lucky,' a new medication was approved by the FDA recently that shows good results in reducing the symptoms of my disease. but how long will it be before i don't respond to that anymore?

it's another biologic, an immunosuppressant shot, and i'm sure just like last time it's going to make me so, so sick. adjusting to biologics is so hard, it's not totally unlike low dose chemo (obviously there are differences) and last time it made me sick for weeks.

i don't want to be sick. i don't want to take these antibiotics that make me nauseous. i don't want to keep scrubbing the blood out of my pants. i don't want to use the soap that dries out my skin. i don't want to wear perfume to cover up the smell of my dying flesh. i can't even have sex with my husband. we recently went a year without having sex and i know he understands, he gets it, but i can't help but think part of him resents me. we got together when i was 22, when my symptoms were still mild, i got my diagnosis at 25. i quit my office job and lost my insurance. we eloped at 27 so he could add me to his insurance and i could afford my treatment. his family spent the next year asking why we were in such a rush to get married, we didn't know how to explain to them it was because my doctor was preparing to declare me completely disabled.

i don't want to be in pain anymore. it's been almost 10 years.

i'm okay, i'll feel better tomorrow, maybe even in a few hours, but i can see why people kill themselves over this. i'm so tired. i'm so defeated. i have to hope there will be a cure someday, something better than just pushing down the symptoms.

if you read this far thank you. like i said, i'm fine. i just wanted to get my thoughts and feelings out and i'm bad about talking to my family - they worry too much, pity me too much.

[vulpeskorsak]

Day 17 of Whumptober 2024: Land

No. 17: NOWHERE ELSE TO GO Ruined Map | Shipwrecked | “We had a good run.”

AO3 got banned in my country and VPNs have not been working well on my PC lately, so I am not going to post these there for now. But hopefully I can do that at some point.

Alva is a totally different character now compared to the first couple of stories about him in this challenge. I changed him almost entirely from the "radio host found of the supernatural, horror and mystery". He is now a young IT teacher sent to work in a small town who ends up stranded on a strange island with his older fatherly colleague Sean after a fishing trip gone wrong.

This is a story about how they found that island.

--------------

Land

"You know… We had a good run, didn't we?"

Alva nods slowly, looking up at the older man in utter exhaustion. His eyes are dead. He has no desire to open his mouth. Too fucking sick of salty water ending up in it. There is no salvation from this boat. Alva knows he is going to die. He has accepted it and just wants it all to end as soon as possible.

His companion Sean shakes his head at him but does not want to argue. His younger colleague is clearly exhausted and not in the mood. It is understandable. They might die here. Eventually. But they may get rescued. Who knows? He is just bored at this point.

"Alva. You should not be so... negative. We will get rescued eventually! Don't worry… Would you like more of that... uhm... sashimi? Look, I sliced it much thinner this time, just like you told me! ... I think! I am curious if it is actually going to taste any better."

"It might…"

Alva wills himself to sit up. He does not want any more fish but he is curious if there is a difference. Dying can wait.

The fish truly looks thinner. Not what he used eat at Japanese restaurants back when he used to live in the city but still comparatively thin.

Him and Sean both take a piece. They stare at each other for a bit. Neither is sure why. They are bored. And cold. And tired. Looking at each other intensely without explanation is the closest thing they have to entertainment.

That and telling stories but they have been running out of inspiration and ideas.

"Alright. Three… Two… One! Go!"

Alva puts the piece into his mouth, trying his best to enjoy it. It is not horrible. But still the exact same fish they had in the morning. Now even more salty. It might go bad soon, based on the taste.

"Same."

"Same."

They chuckle, though Alva's laugh is more of a subconscious mimicry than genuine amusement. Sean is having fun. He smirks.

"You lied to me again, young man."

"I did not. The fish must be wrong. Or you did not cut it thin enough…"

"I mean... the fish does taste somewhat wrong. We should probably try getting another one…"

"We should."

Alva sighs, looking at their fishing rods. Who knew such a relaxing activity could end up in this disaster? They will probably end up dying on this boat eventually. They will never see land again.

"Alva! I see land!"

Sean grabs him by the shoulders, yanking him around to look behind.

Alva cannot see that far. He thinks he sees a small something on the horizon. He takes his glasses out of the chest pocket of his shirt and puts them on to get a better look.

"Huh…" He says. "It truly is land… IT'S LAND, SEAN! WE'RE SAVED!"

He jumps up to his feet, making the boat sway dangerously at the sudden movement. Fear overtakes him for a second. What if they die because he capsizes the fucking boat? That would be the most stupid way to go. He sits back down carefully.

"Told you we'll make!"

Sean laughs quickly putting away the fish and taking out their emergency paddle, which is just a regular paddle but broken in half, making the handle quite short. Alva flips around rolling up his sleeves and dipping his hands into the water, so he can try paddling a little as well.

The two of them painfully slowly guide their boat to a small island where only a single research station stands empty, waiting for the next group of scientists to arrive in a few months. It might not be the salvation they expected right away, but it is not like they have anywhere else to go.

[bucketwritingpail]

Your Stupid Face pt.1

Wip, Fade/Mask, but also Fade/Tech 9, it's weird

--------

"Hey Fade, I need you to do me a favor real quick."

"Sure thing Tech, what do you need?" Whatever it was he hoped it would be quick. That fight with whatever upandcoming gang had thought taking out the Syndicate would be their claim to fame, had gone longer than expected and Fade could already feel his adrenaline buzz slipping, giving way to the achingly familiar bone deep exhaustion. Fuck he needed a nap.

Tech looked around the room quickly as if checking for something. "Follow me." Fuck. It was one of *those* things then. Dammit, he was getting a little tired of keeping the money talk away from the others. Screw 'demoralization of the crew' they had a right to know too.

Tech led him down a series of hallways towards the supply rooms that he idly recognised as the one he'd found Mask in after the Demon Fox attack. Hardly anyone came this way unless they were bored or looking for something. After a fight like that anyone would be too tired to bother. It was the perfect spot for a secret conversation. Tech double checked they were alone anyway.

There was a bad feeling in Fade's gut and he got the sneaking suspicion that this might not be a regular finances conversation.

"Look Tech, if this is about money, can it wai-" his voice petered out as Tech moved closer, pressing into his space. There was something intent in his gaze that sent shivers down his spine. He suddenly felt jittery again. Tech was so close he was practically standing in him, and there was no way he wasn't blushing as his best friend's hand hovered slightly over his face.

"I need you to focus on keeping your face solid for a second, kay?" Fuck, since when was it so hard to breathe? What was happening? Why, was it happening?

For some reason Fade felt himself obey. His skin tangled as it regained feeling and he focused on the sensation. Remaining solid was getting harder and harder with each passing day. Then Tech smiled and stroked his thumb across his cheek, and suddenly that contact made it all so much easier.

"There we go," Tech whispered, and then- And then they were closer. Alot closer in fact. Tech's lips were on his and it felt good. Sure they had done alot of stuff that felt good, back when they were kids, but they had never *kissed.* not like this.

Tech's other hand appeared on his face and Fade focused on that too.

When they finally pulled apart, Tech was grinning like a wild eyed fool, and Fade felt like a fish out of water, gasping for air. Everything still felt warm. Then that bad feeling was back, and he lost focus.

Why were they doing this? They didn't do stuff like this anymore. Hell, they had never done stuff like this ever, and none of it had meant anything to Tech. Not like it had to him. They had just been young and messing around. That was probably what was happening now. They were older, but it was still just messing around.

Fade didn't think he could handle it if it was just that. Not after so long of pushing those thoughts away, of ignoring that part of himself.

The prospect of all this just being a sick joke brought his voice back.

"What was that, Rollie?"

Tech smiled and stroked his thumb against his face again, but didn't answer. That bad feeling was oppresive by now. Fade let his skin go intangible. "This isn't a game to me Rollie. We're not kids anymore."

He almost looked hurt. "I know."

"Then what the hell was that? I thought we didnt do stuff like that anymore" Tech flinched at the venom in his words, clearly remembering that long ago conversation.

"Dying gives a man perspective, Carlos. I didn't mean to- fuck. You don't mean to tell me you haven't noticed all those passes I've been making at you lately?"

Fade thinks on that. It wasn't that he hadn't noticed, he just-

It was weird.

"So what's happening now?"

"Well, I'll be honest I hadn't thought that far. Can we even have sex with your condition?"

"I don't know. I don’t think so."

"So just this for now then. I can work with that." Tech reached back up, expectantly, to hold his face. Fade remained intangible.

"I told you, Rollie, I'm not playing games." God, he was almost afraid if how much he wanted this to be real. "We're not just messing around this time."

"I'm not. Promise. When have I ever broken a promise?" He grinned, a terribly convincing thing that grin. Fade couldn't remember a time that grin hadn't worked on him.

"No one finds out."

"Of course. Now just focus on me for a bit."

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So I'm having a bit if a time trying to figure out which tags to use on this before I post to ao3, so if you have any recommendations please share.

Also I hope yall are enjoying all the Blood Syndicate content. I love these sillys an unhealthy amount.