#it makes me so angry and im barely affected

[nolonger-ams]

You know what I really hate?

The way they make it sound so reasonable.

They cite their passages, they state that its against their beliefs.

They give me the quotes, the ones that say I should be killed for who I am.

And it's so final, and there's nothing I can do about it.

And the worst part is, I am barely suffering.

There are people out there who live by these laws, who believe in these laws, who are killed by these laws.

At least I have the armour of knowing they are wrong.

[theotherseapancakes]

i put a CUT HERE thanks tumblr

thinking abt how much it sucks to be disabled and care about the world and its people. i want to do THINGS. I want to help people. "but this is low effort" if youre abled, yeah. "but this is easy! just do thing!" if you don't have seizures and brain damage, yeah. It's just frustrating. Feeling very constantly stressed abt the state of the world rn and ik its self-harmy to be like... constantly looking at stuff i cant do much abt, but i also dont want to put neg stuff on my dash bc if i panic any harder ill be seizing more often... honestly i just really wish my combination of issues wasn't so prevalent as to leave me beyond bedridden half the time. I think about how many artists have had MUCH more time to practice or work. "but you dont work" no, i do. I have to be my own advocate, see doctors, take care of my body, take my meds right, get scans, it never ends. It's so tiring. Being disabled is a different kind of job and i wish more people would acknowledge that. I get a SMALL govt stipend but most of it goes to my bills or food. I live okay enough ofc, but like... I dunno, i feel i'd be less fucked up if i could go for walks but (laughs in american infrastructure being wheelchair unfriendly).

[johnnieguilbertsgirlfriend]

hello!! I was wondering if you could do a johnnie x reader smut where y/n sits on johnnies lap and he fingers her and talks softly to her while doing it 😝

of COURSE i can this is also kinda answering this request!: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIII, how are you? I was wondering if i could request a johnnie x reader (gf) smut where she has a hand kink and johnnie makes her get off on his thigh and his fingers (im such a slut for dom johnnie)

𝐟𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 - 𝐣𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐞 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

CONTAINS: angst?, fluff, smut, p in v, oral (f receiving), praising, fingering, creampie, squirting (new feature unlocked😱), overstimulation (going round4round)

WC: not sure rn

story below the cut:

——————

throughout the past few weeks, johnnie had been unavailable. whether it was filming, or hanging out with jake and carrington. of course you still saw him, but you missed him. by the time you would wake up, the other side of the bed was already empty. this didn’t only make you sad, but frustrated. you just wanted your boyfriend to be there for you, and have someone to lean on. it was 2 p.m., where once again, you wake up cold, with no arms around you.

y/n: where are you?

johnnie: filming again, sorry baby i’ll be back later

y/n: r we still on for dinner tonight?

johnnie: of course, i’ll see you soon ❤️

y/n: okay have fun, love you :)

you sigh, feeling mentally and physically drained despite not doing a single thing. at least you and johnnie had actually planned for something tonight even with his busy schedule.

——————

sitting at the vanity, you were patting light makeup on your skin, followed by some cute eyeliner and lip gloss. the time was currently 7:30 and the reservation was for 8:15 p.m., so he should be there any minute. throwing on a cute black mini dress, paired with some heels, your outfit was complete.

y/n: helloooo its 7:50

y/n: we need to leave like now

y/n: ?? (delivered)

5 minutes pass, then 20, then an hour. you sat on your phone, scrolling on tiktok before finally accepting the reality of the situation. he wasn’t coming anytime soon. and that’s when you started to cry. taking off your shoes and putting on a hoodie, you crawled on the bed, too lazy to take anything else off.

resting your back on the headboard, you hear the front door unlock and the scuffle of shoes, along with some other voices. johnnie opens the door,

“i’m here i-“

“it’s 9:30.” you say, sniffling.

“what? oh shit sorry i forgot we had plans”

“yeah? you’re sorry? i’ve barely seen you for weeks now and that’s all?”

“babe i swear i wasn’t looking at the time it was just that jake and carrington dragged me to go places and-“

“jake this and carrington that, why does it always have to be about them?”

“because they’re my friends-“

“yeah well i’m your fucking girlfriend,” the room went quiet.

“but you know what? lately it feels like i’m not and maybe it should stay that way.”

“why are you being so dramatic about it?”

you’re furious. you get off the bed, and start walking to the kitchen. johnnie grabs your shoulders, turning you around, and pulling you into a hug. you smell his cologne, starting to break down into tears, burying your face deeper into his chest. deep down, you know he hates seeing you cry and get angry. you just felt so hurt.

“why? why do you have to do this to me. i miss you, i just want you to be with me and hold me. but you’re always too busy.”

he pats your head, running his fingers through your hair, while you let it out. once you collect yourself, you look up at him, with tear stains and a red nose.

“i love you. i’m so sorry for leaving you all the time, you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me,”

“and you’re not overreacting.”

johnnie pulls you into a sweet and tender kiss, full of love and affection, but you pull back first. still upset, you look to the ground. he takes your face in his hands,

“let me make it up to you baby.”

he lowers his head to your neck, softly biting at your skin, making you let out a relieve sigh. then he kisses you again, this time being rougher and filled with more lust. you moan as his tongue reaches your mouth. before anyone sees this, he lifts your legs up, leaving kisses on your jaw while taking you back to his room.

he uses your back to close the door, walking towards the bed. he sets you down gently and helps you take your hoodie off. “baby you look amazing in this dress, you’re gonna have to wear it again soon” he pushes you down, trailing kisses from your neck, down to your collarbone. starting to lift your dress up and over your head, taking it off completely, it also reveals a set of black lingere you had put on beforehand.

“you wore this for me y/n?”

“mhm”

“it would look even better off of you”

you hum in response as he leaves hickeys right above your lacy bra. he plants kisses down your chest and stomach, to your core. he takes off his t-shirt and jeans. after, he takes off your panties, covering his finger with your wetness, and inserting it. “just relax angel i’m gonna take such good care of you” you groan as he starts sucking your breasts, giving equal attention, as he pumps another finger into you, increasing the speed a little. your breaths get heavier as you grip the bedsheets. “more m’ please” you whine. he goes even faster as you bite your lip to stop yourself from melting. arching your back for more friction against his hand, he uses another finger to rub your clit. “yeah baby thats it, just cum on my fingers” while he says that, you feel the knot in your stomach coming undone. “oh shit” you moan out, shaking slightly and cumming.

he pulls down his boxers, taking them off. he’s already really hard, so he coats his dick with your cum. the rooms feels as though it gets hotter with every breath you take in. he teases your clit with his tip, rubbing it slightly. “johnnie just fuck me already please,” you breathe out. “alright princess” he says, pushing fully into you, but slowly, groaning while letting you adjust to his length. “still so tight baby” he says, making you bite your lip, muffling your moan. “don’t do that, i want to hear all your pretty noises.” he picks up the pace, getting faster which each thrust.

“you’re so beautiful y/n” he says, you hold onto his waist, pulling him deeper inside you, hitting the right stop. “uh, fuck” with every sound you make, it encourages him to go harder, and faster. “shit, m’ gonna cum,” you moan out. johnnie’s breath gets heavier as he lifts your leg up, pounding even deeper into you. “inside,” you manage to get out as pleasure washes over you. shortly after, he thrusts one last time, cumming inside you.

he kisses your lips, but it’s not over just yet. johnnie comes closer, “baby, please ride my face” he whispers in your ear. at this point, you felt so overstimulated, but could never say no to that handsome face. you instantly get wetter again, and agree, putting him to the side and then climbing on top of his abdomen. “are you sure?” “one hunder percent,” he says, practically forcing your legs closer to his head.

you hover on top of his face, scared to suffocate him. however, he immediately pulls your thighs down, making you sit entirely while you let a moan out. he starts eating you out, flicking his tongue, somehow making you feel even better. “just like that,” he knew this time that you wouldn’t last that long, especially after the two orgasms you just had. so, he digs his mouth even deeper into your pussy, like the world was ending. this pulled a string of curse words out of you. “oh fuck,” is the last thing you can say, before you feel your whole body shaking, but this time it was new to you. you had squirted from the overstimulation, on johnnie’s face.

after, you get off of him, somewhat embarrassed. “uhm, i don’t know how, uh, that has never happened to me before-“

“no, that was hot.” he kisses your forehead gently before putting his boxers back on and getting a towel for both of you. he cleans you up and gives you a shirt to wear while he goes to grab new sheets. you sit on the floor with dead legs while he changes it for you. “i’m never washing this bed sheets ever again,” he says. “ewww,” you jokingly say back while laughing. he carries you in a cradle, setting you back down on the bed.

“so… are you still mad at me?”

“i could never stay mad at you,” you say, pulling him in for a hug.

—————

ENJOY THIS LADIES, YOUR BITCH IS BACK

currently working on some requests but theres NOT ENOUGH!! please always leave requests in my inboxesss 🩷 see u in the next 1!

[redr0sewrites]

Jealousy Hcs With HSR Characters

urghrhrhrh the cutscene at the end of *redacted for spoilers* with luocha had me feeling some typa way ab him ngl....

🥀CW: jealousy, slight mentions of arguments, fluff, some smut, dirty talk, marking, etc

🥀Pairings: Blade x reader, Kafka x Reader, Dan Heng IL x reader, Sampo x reader, Luocha x reader

🥀minors dni with the nsfw portion

BLADE

i honestly feel like he wouldnt get jealous too easily, but once hes jealous he can be pretty possessive

he trusts you a lot, but sometimes needs reassurance that you wont leave him

i feel like he'd be more protective then actually possessive, however he can gets pretty pissed at the person hes jealous of, esp when it comes to you💀

ALL politeness goes out the door the second someone flirts with you

"theyre mine, i suggest you leave."

very straightforward and to the point

if the person refuses to leave you alone, he can and will get physical on your behalf but only if you want him too

afterwards he would probably act like an angry cat, wanting your affection and reassurance but also being pissed and lashing out at the same time

jealous sex? yes

when hes jealous he is actually feral during sex

using his weight to pin you down, fucking into you so roughly and yet stopping whenever you came close to cumming

"do you need more? too bad. you'll take what i give you. would you prefer to have him fuck you? have his cock stuffing your greedy hole? he cant fuck you like i can. youre mine, and im yours. fucking remember that."

he would also like it if YOU took control and showed him that you only had eyes for him

kiss him, mark him and claim him as yours, show him that you love him and only him

KAFKA

TOTALLY THE JEALOUS TYPE

will deny it with all her heart, but the second that anyone approaches you with even the slightest un-platonic intentions she practically materializes at your side

will wrap an arm around your waist, pulling you in close before kissing your neck

"hello darling~ who are they? a friend?"

honestly not even trying to be subtle, but less rude than blade

she is hot and she knows it, once you both are alone she'll tease you mercilessly. she knows that your utterly devoted to her, the same way she is for you, but she cant help but be jealous sometimes, right?

she is not ashamed tbh

i feel like she would be petty ab it, she'd withhold her affection so your the one that has to come crawling to her

this leads to rough, rough sex

kafka is unrelenting, fucking you and making you cun again and again, each time asking you who you belong to and scratching deep marks down your back and chest with her nails

SHE WILL MAKE U WEAR HER COAT TOO

the thought of you bare beneath her in nothing but her favorite velvet coat, chained down and covered in hickeys is a regular fantasy of hers

overall, very possessive

if u make her jealous on purpose.... good luck because you will not be cumming for the next month

she wont even let you touch yourself, she'll laugh and mock you as you grind yourself against her thigh, begging for release...

Dan Heng IL

when dan hengs not in his dragon form, its nearly impossible to tell when hes jealous bc he just seems so calm all the time

but the second hes in his dragon form???? possessive as fuck. and its obvious. his tail is lashing through the air, his face is twisted in disgust (he looks so cute when hes angry), and hes practically growling at you as his tail wraps involuntarily around your legs

he'll come up and rest a hand on your shoulder, which seems like a normal gesture at first until you notice him death staring the person talking to you, his tail slashing through the air as hes practically growling for your attention

honestly it all boils down to dragon instincts

if its trailblazer dan heng, it would be a completely different story

hed prob just walk up to you and calmly ask who the person was, and would introduce himself as your boyfriend. if the person was especially persistent, he might ask you to come with him but will otherwise just stare at them ngl😭

when it comes to jealous sex with dan heng IL, PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE!!!

he gets jealous and possessive sooo easily, so the best thing to do is just rail him to high heavens to assure him that ur his and hes urs

could be either super soft or super rough sex

no in between

its either sensual, you whispering sweet nothings in his ear about how you only have eyes for him as he gently ruts into you, whimpering softly....

or you have him tied down, overstimulating him and railing him into oblivion as you fuck him dumb

Sampo Koski

he would act so lovey dovey in front of the person making him jealous that its almost disgusting

imagine that one couple who made out against the lockers in highschool and had wayyy too much pda except x10

will literally call you pookie snookums sugar bear honey pie while draping himself in your lap and kissing your whole face just to make the person leave

even if they werent flirting with you in the first place

i think he actually wouldnt get jealous super easily tbh he KNOWS hes hot

he will tease YOU tho

"aww, did you meet someone new? your gonna replace me already?"

NOT SUBTLE EITHER IM SO SORRY

"is your pal sampo already second best to this person? are you really gonna replace me?" *cue sly smirk*

after a while he begins to get needy for your attention and will start to get slightly irritating, poking you, saying your name and looking away when you turn to him, hugging you tightly, etc

eventually he'll DRAG you away, whining the whole time

when yall get home, PLEASE rail this man

he will be smirking the whole time, but the second you tug his hair and force him down onto the bed he is practically giggling

sampo will mark you up like CRAZY during jealous sex, he is like lowkey feral and is not afraid of letting everyone know ur his and hes urs

loud af- moans, whimpers, the whole agenda

afterwards, he will cuddle with you and practically crush you with his weight

hes just sillyyyy<3

Luocha

listen

if you manage to make this man jealous then you must be actually insane

hes like scary calm and reserved ab any situation like this, if someone is flirting with you he'll simply ask them to leave or just come up to you and silently kiss your cheek

hes pretty and hes honorable and he KNOWS it, he would never let jealousy cloud his sights and trusts you enough to know your loyal to him

hes utterly devoted to you and nothing can change that

however

on the off chance that he does get jealous

wowwo

ngl hed prob just confront you ab it to communicate with you ab how he feels, and just to reassure himself your not leaving

hed act like SUCH a gentleman out of pure anxiety for the next few days, he already does but now he wont even let you lift a finger. need to open a door? he materializes in front of you to open it. see something you want at a store? already bought. want food? already made.

when it comes to jealous sex, hed prob be rougher than usual but still romantic

hed be giving you hickeys and both praising and degrading you in missionary, ravishing you and bringing you to your peak again and again

he also wouldn't mind if you took control, and really enjoys words of affirmation both ways, especially you reassuring him that your his and hes yours<3

overall, very sweet and reasonable about the whole situation

IM WRITING AGAINNNNN EEEEE :D SEND IN HSR REQS PLSSSSSSS LUOCHA IS SO SILLY

[prentissluvr]

HI MARI !!

IM HERE WITH MY DEAN THOUGHTS!! (mostly platonic)

when you become friends/best friends, he’s ride or die for you

not on the same level of sammy but it’s a close second

the playful banter between the two of you is just great

although he knows that he can be annoying and uses it to his advantage

flirting with you to annoy his brother (he knows that sammy is in love with you and does it to get on his nerves)

PET NAMES!

has a reserved nickname for you but does pull out the pet names if you’re having a bad day

speaking of bad days/sick days

he will go out of his way to take care of you

pulls out all of the stops for his bestie

this is when you realize this man is a secret softy at heart (refuses to admit it, because he’s a “big bad hunter”)

platonic cuddles/casual physical affection

dean is reserved with physical affection (im thinking post hell! dean) (earlier szns dean wouldn’t hold back tbh)

but once he’s comfortable with you (and is sure that you won’t leave him or sammy)

then it’s a free for all

swinging his arm over your shoulder, sharing a bed if there’s only two beds (sam seethes sometimes but this is way before you guys get together lol), resting his head in your lap during movie nights (starts off as a joke wanting to annoy you but then does it almost everytime you guys have one, loves when his hair is getting played with)

there’s def more but ill cut it off here (i love bestie dean but im also in love with him LOL) (the winchester brothers have a GRIP on me)

HELLO DAISYYYY HEHEHEHE this is amazing i'm so obsessed <33

cw : mentions of injuries, pet names obviously , dean is annoying ofc <3, sammy and reader like each other, swearing probably, alcohol mention, unedited! wc : 1.5K

⟢ ride or die : i mean yeah, this is pretty much undeniable. sure, sam will always be his first priority, but the moment he knows that you're a part of the team, no doubts, he's prepared to do just about anything for you. both fortunately and unfortunately, this does mean he gets really protective of you similarly to how he is with sam, especially if you're younger than him. and even if you're not, the fact that you're his best friend makes you family, and we know how dean feels about family <3

⟢ playful banter : this is basically just your whole friendship with him HAHA. not truly, of course, but mostly heh. like idk what else to say, he'll take any opportunity to tease you or make you fake angry because he just thinks it's too funny. and he'll love whatever way you respond to that. he definitely enjoys if you return his fire with your own teasing and retorts and i personally think you are so allowed to be mean to him because he's an idiot!! obviously don't be actually mean, but he enjoys having a teasing relationship where you can call each other stupid and know that the other means it with love lol.

when the two of you get into it, sam gets so annoyed. like you'll be arguing about the value of mustard on sandwiches and both of you are so invested in winning the argument and sam is like oh my god, dean please focus on the road and shut up, both of you😭😭 the boy is trying to sleep, he doesn't need this right now. so you either keep arguing in hushed tones (which doesn't last for long) or you pick it back up at another time (that's also probably inconvenient and annoying to sam still HA).

and yeah, dean can be very annoying and he loves to rile you up LOL. it's great when you reciprocate his banter, but sometimes he's just so ridiculous that it has you rolling your eyes and groaning in frustration. and unfortunately for you, that, or any other dramatic response, is exactly what dean is trying to get out of you. "dean, will you shut up?" is one of his favorites. he just laughs at you, he thinks the way you say it is so funny and cute.

he does other annoying things too, like rest his elbow on your head or shoulder if it reaches, he doesn't care if you're his same height, barely shorter, or significantly shorter, he's gonna make fun of your height. and if you're taller, yeah he's still gonna make fun of that, too. he'll playfully put his hand on the top of your head, just for the pure intention of annoying you. idk basically anything that annoys you, he does it (usually without going overboard, he knows where to draw the line).

and yeah, the flirting is more about annoying sam, but it's a total plus when you give him that look saying, "really, are you kidding me?" he'll love a good banter on that end of the spectrum too, if you're down for flirting back. unfortunately, this sends sam the wrong message for the longest time, but it's not your fault that you don't know that he likes you back! you're just playing around with dean heh.

⟢ pet names/nicknames : yes yes yes!! he absolutely has a nickname that is specific to you!! basically your version of "sammy." it might be a nickname based off of your given name, but it totally could be an inside joke, something silly and cute. it might even be a pet name that he uses for you exclusively. i can see him calling a younger best friend "pumpkin," mostly as another method of annoying you. that one is used pretty sparingly though because it's a little over the top for the both of you. he definitely uses it a lot less than whatever his main nickname for you is, which he uses just about all the time lol. if you have a nickname based off you name, sam probably uses that, too. so, dean likes having a separate nickname that he came up with which only he uses.

and yes! he does use pet names casually and occasionally, but he's far more likely to use them if you're having a bad day, if you were injured on a hunt, or something like that! i think maybe this is just because i'm obsessed with the time that dean called lisa honey once, but i think the idea of dean calling his best friend honey is really adorable. that one is used for maximum comfort, especially if you're injured <3 "c'mon, honey. keep your eyes open, you're okay." i can also see dean using baby platonically sometimes!

he does occasionally use over the top names like sugar plum or honey bunches to annoy you lol. he will "sweetheart" you in a teasing way because he loves the way it makes you fume LOL. but in special circumstances, he'll call you sweetheart sincerely (also more likely when you're injured—"you're alright, sweetheart, we're almost to the motel"). idk if this counts as a pet name, but he'll definitely call you kid and kiddo if you're younger than him like how he does with charlie <3 i see him using darlin' very casually! "alright, c'mon darlin', let's see what sammy found." casual pet names means he's in a good mood though. he also will use insults like pet names because you're his idiot best friend <33

he won't tell you this but he likes if you've got a nickname for him, too! but he will tease you if you try to use the same pet names for him, even if you're casual about it in the same way he is.

⟢ taking care of you on bad/sick days : uhm yeah, he tries not to be obvious about it, but when he goes the the store just to pick up your favorite treat or kisses your forehead like fifty billion times when he thinks you're asleep, there's no way you can miss what a big softie he is. if the way you wear your hair allows, he'll brush any stray strands out of your face, especially if you're sick and it's stuck to your face with with sweat. checks your temperature on your forehead with his hand <3 then if he thinks you have a fever, he busts out the thermometer and takes your temp that way just to make sure you don't have to go to the hospital. he brings you your meds and lovingly bothers you about eating enough food. makes you watch movies with him lol

on days that are simply just bad, well, he's horrible with emotions, but he knows that pie and alcohol can fix almost anything (this is not true, but it still helps you to have a treat and a drinking buddy). while he's bad with emotions, he is absolutely more than willing to listen to anything you need to talk about. he's not sure how to tell you that he's there for you out loud, so he'll pour you another drink if you're not too drunk and rub your back with a soft, but firm hand. his go to phrase to comfort you is, "we'll figure it out," and it works because you know he really means it, and he says it in a soft and sweet tone that's quite rare for him.

⟢ physical affection : he can definitely be more reserved sometimes with touch, but he welcomes any physical affection that you initiate. if you purposefully stand shoulder to shoulder, he'll put his arm around you, and he'll certainly accept any hugs you have to offer. like you said, once he's even more comfortable and confident in your being around, he's much more open about swinging an arm around your shoulder and any given moment (especially because he can shove you around a little that way lmao).

he's definitely okay with the bed sharing, mostly because it's a necessity, though he tries to get you to share with sam much more once he realizes that you like each other because he can see sam physically become upset when you share with dean lmao.

movie nights are prime time for physical affection with dean!! i definitely agree that he puts his head in your lap first to annoy you, but when you don't bat an eye and start running your fingers through his hair, he's done for. he always is trying to get you to do it again, every time you watch something together, and that's when it gets annoying lmao, because he won't let you rest your head on his shoulder anymore or let you be the one to put you head in his lap. he'll make an exception if you're having a bad though hah. once again, he will dial down the cuddles if he can tell that it's bothering sam, but will absolutely not give up the physical affection with you because he thinks sam needs to get over it LOL. because, at the end of the day!! you'll always be his best friend, and he will always respect you and your relationship with sammy.

[jenoslutie]

i saw your requests were open and im really craving jeno filth rn. can i request a blurb of mean/angry jeno wanting to try anal spur of the moment while fucking but theres poor prep. can there be focus on degrading, humiliation, & dacryphilia? i saw on your requests that you write some hard kinks so hopefully this works (if not, ignore me). thank you!

pairing: jeno x fem!reader

genre: smut

wc: 1501

warnings: degradation, humiliation, dacryphilia, anal (with little to no prep), mentions of haechan, angry jeno.

a/n: thank u anon!! im so sorry im replying so late i've been suffering with severe lack of motivation but thank u to @jenomov for motivating me to write this luv u bb!!

Ever since you and Jeno got home earlier, hes been upset and he won't tell you why. All you remember was being at a little get together with him and his friends and midway during the night he took you by the hand and told you that you guys would be leaving. The whole car ride was silent and you honestly don't have a clue what could be wrong with him. You'd assume one of his friends may have said something that pissed him off but if that did happen he would've mentioned it to you. All your attempts of trying to ask him have been pushed away with him either ignoring you or simply telling you to not worry about it.

"Jeno?" You walked into your shared bedroom after washing up where he was at his desk playing video games, already having changed into a pair of grey shorts and a white t-shirt. "Can you talk to me? what's wrong?" and much like the other times, he ignored you once again. Being fed up with his silent treatment, you went up to where he sat at his desk and took his headphones off his head, placing them on his desk and turning the chair around so he'd finally look at you for the first time since you'd gotten home today.

"Jeno, talk to me please, what's wrong? I don't know what I did and it's making me feel like shit knowing that I upset you and I don't even know what I did" Jeno groans, not amused that you reminded him of it again. "You know what, fine I'll fill you in." He sat you down on the floor in front of him and his voice was awfully calm which was a stark contrast to his demeanour from less than a minute ago. He tucks your hair behind your ear and ran his hands through your hair before grabbing a fistful and pulling it roughly, making you wince.

"I was looking for you the whole time today but where did I end up finding you? Sitting outside with Haechan. You know how he feels about you yet you still entertained it like some attention whore." He sneered as he says this and tugs on your hair harder.

Now you remember.

Jeno seemed to be occupied with his friends so you and Haechan decided to go and get some drinks from the kitchen before sitting outside and people watching. There was barely any dialogue exchanged other than some random comments the both of you made when you saw someone doing something funny.

So you tell Jeno that.

"You know, if you really want to slut yourself out to Haechan while your boyfriend is busy with his friends then go ahead. But for now, come on, strip" Jeno was seeing red at this point. He was already upset that you ditched him and when he finally did find you, he found you hidden away with his friend who's had feelings for you since time. What added on to his anger was you were wearing this skin tight black romper with no bra underneath so everyone could clearly see every curve of your body and your very hard nipples.

He watched you as you got rid of that stupid romper that made you look even sexier than you already were. "come on, take off those panties too, sluts like you don't need those. I'm surprised you even wore any in the first place." you complied with a slight frown, the situation was so arousing to you right now but you couldn't show him just how much it was affecting you. Jeno hummed as your naked body stood before him, his fingers finding their way to your nipples to toy with them before bringing his mouth to one and flicking his tongue over it making you moan softly. However that didn't last long until Jeno got off his chair and sat you on it instead. You brought your hand down to your sopping wet cunt and realized your wetness was dripping down onto his chair. You knew Jeno wouldn't be happy about it considering his mood right now so you chose not to even mention anything about it until he'd notice himself. Which clearly didn't last long because when Jeno looked down to where your hand was, he saw the mess that was made on his new gaming chair.

"What the fuck is this hmm?" Jeno raised his eyebrows at you making you close your legs and look down in shame. "You know, I was thinking of letting you off easy but I don't think you deserve it today. Get on your knees and clean up your mess." You whimpered at his degradation. As harsh as his words may get, you know he doesn't mean it at the end of the day. So you obeyed his command and fell to your knees and lapped up your arousal from his chair, leaving an arguably bigger mess but you know Jeno never really minded in the first place.

"Good girl. Get on the bed baby" You followed all his commands with no hesitation. Making your way over to the bed with him trailing behind you. He sat you on the bed before getting rid of his shorts and shirt. Immediately, you knew what that meant so you got right to work, licking at his tip before taking his length in your mouth. Sucking him off like you know he likes. Making a mix of his groans and the sound of you gagging from his length hitting the back of your throat fill the room.

He pulled you off him before he was able to reach the edge. "Get on your hands and knees." And you obeyed, arching your back the way he likes it. What you didnt expect was to feel his cock circling your rim. it's not your first time doing this with him but there was barely any prep or foreplay to prepare you for this. "Jeno? I dont think I'm prepped enough for anal right now..." you trailed off to which he slapped your ass in response. "You can take it I know you can, It'll feel good I promise" Dropping down a glob of spit to 'lubricate' your hole before he slid in just his tip around your hole, hips stuttering from the feeling of your hole squeezing him in. The pain was too much making your eyes well up "Jeno fuck..it hurts so much" And as if to make it better, he dropped another glob of spit on your hole to make the stretch more bearable (it didnt help much). When he finally bottomed out in your ass he let out a loud groan which you could almost feel from the way his cock twitched inside you. Your cheeks were stained with tears as you fought the urge to beg him to at least use some lube but the thought quickly went to the back of your head when he started pounding into your ass while rubbing at your clit.

"Jeno fuck" you sniffled and you didnt expect Jeno to fucking whimper at your tone. "Fuck baby are you crying?" He chuckled softly, flipping you onto your back to observe your messy tear stained face.

"You're so fucking pretty when you cry baby it makes me wanna ruin you more often. You like when I fuck you hard like this?" You nod and soon the pain is mixed with pleasure when he rubs at your clit harder and your arousal trails down to where his cock is pounding into you.

"Gonna cum Jeno feels so good" Jeno knew you were close from the way you tightened up around him and your legs shook around his waist. "Cum baby. show me that pretty teary face when you cum." And you did. Your orgasm hit you so hard that you sob even harder, your face a mix of tears and drool that made Jeno's high to follow right behind yours. He buried his cock all the way inside you and you feel the hot white ropes of cum filling you up.

Jeno slowly pulled out and collapsed next to you, wiping the tears off your face. "You're so good to me baby sorry if I was too rough today." You shook your head with a smile, not trusting your voice to do you any justice in the moment. Jeno returned the smile and gave you a soft kiss to your forehead.

"And just so you know, I'm not mad about the Haechan thing anymore. It was a stupid thing to get mad about I'm sorry" You smiled at the man before you. Jeno less than 10 minutes ago was nothing compared to the Jeno you were seeing right now.

"It's okay, I love you and only you okay?" He hummed with a smile, giving you another kiss to your forehead before he went off to get something to clean you up with.

[pyrodolls]

yandere mk1 raidennn?????

raiden x reader (yandere alphabet)

warnings: obsessiveness, mentions of violence and murder, mentions of death, slight angst, kidnapping, established relationship, gender neutral reader, ooc raiden, (regular yandere tendencies... you know what you're getting into)

a/n: hey so i thought my yandere hcs were getting too repetitive so i decided to make this into a yandere alphabet!! im so sorry it took me a while to get to this btw. also hello another val 👋👋👋 val nation lets gooooo

A ffection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

raiden doesn't strike me as the type to be outright with his affection. he's the type of yandere that would seem really tame at first, and hide his true feelings in the beginning of the relationship. he is actually very obsessive and even jealous when you give your attention to someone else, which you find out later on in the relationship. his affection is very intense, however. he adores you so much, he just wants to put you in his pocket! (and then keep you locked in there, make sure you can't talk to anyone else, and treat you as if you have the mind of an infant. but at least he would give you your favorite mini foods!)

B lood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

raiden wouldn't kill someone for you unless he has to. if your life was in danger and someone threatened to harm you, he'd have no problem eliminating them instantly. but when it comes to his competition, he'd find some other method. raiden is a very well-trusted guy and everyone knows he is kind and honest, so they would instantly trust him if he were to spread a dirty lie about his competition. surely that would drive them to run away? if that doesn't work, he would find some kind of other way to distract them from you. murder would be his last resort.

C ruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

raiden would never mock you! he wouldn't even think you hated being locked up by him. he is delusional and he doesn't think you hate being locked up. he thinks you love him and you love being with him. even if you were to react with anger and violence, he would assume you were just having a bad day. you can kick and scream all you want, raiden would just hug you and comfort you. besides, you don't have a reason to be upset! he spends as much time as he can with you, he provides you everything you need, and he gifts you clothes and furniture to your liking. you love it there, don't you?

D arling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against the darling's will?

raiden would probably try to avoid displeasing you. however he knows that sometimes he has to, it's for your own good! he knows what is best for you, please trust him! if you're angry at him for anything he does, he wouldn't exactly understand why, but he would still comfort you. other than that, he tries to please you as often as he can. as long as you are healthy and happy, so is he.

E xposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

this was already mentioned, but raiden would be very normal at first. the beginning of your relationship would seem like it was straight out of a romcom. sweet, innocent, and cute. he'll be honest with how he feels and comfort you when you were upset. but as the relationship goes on, he'll open up his possessive side more. but he still deeply cares about you. he is very loving and treats you with so much care, almost as if you were delicate and made of glass.

F ight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

this was already mentioned, but he would just assume you were just having a bad day. all couples have fights, this is normal! raiden doesn't blame you at all. no matter how severe your anger is, he would never get mad at you. the most he'll do as a punishment is gently lecture you. he can't bring himself to be mad at you.

G ame: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

raiden does not see it as a game. as much as he underestimates you, he doesn't treat you like a doll or a plaything. he understands that you are just in pain, so he doesn't blame you for constantly wanting to escape. he doesn't enjoy seeing you in pain at all. raiden tries his best to comfort you and try to find out why you are so upset, but he just doesn't get it. why are you so angry? do you not like the wallpaper in your new bedroom? do you want him to spend more time with you? he's confused and desperate to help you, so he is not at all amused by your attempts to escape.

H ell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

honestly? there isn't really a specific bad experience with raiden. the only bad thing about being in a relationship with him is his possessiveness and how he treats you as if you're weak. other than those two factors, raiden is surprisingly kind and mature. he would hate to make you upset. he always tries not to ruin your mood, unless he has to. he strongly believes that as long as you are happy, so is he.

I deals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

raiden would love to start a family with you. he loves the idea of taking care of kids with you by his side. if you don't want a family, he would be okay with that. he would be perfectly fine with just a couple of pets here and there as you both stay together for the rest of your lives. he doesn't exactly have a clear vision of what he wants. as long as you two are together and you are safe, he does not mind what the future holds.

J ealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

oh raiden absolutely gets jealous. he doesn't like it when you give your attention to other people. he knows you're just being kind and he fully trusts you, he just doesn't trust other people. he thinks they don't know you better than he does, and they would just break your heart. but raiden would never hurt you! so he keeps that in mind when he gets bummed out about your relationship with others. he reassures himself that he is the best person to be your significant other, and nobody else. he silently sulks and he refuses to admit that he is jealous.

K isses: How do they act around or with their darling?

he is so in love. raiden absolutely adores you. he thinks you can do no wrong. he treats you with so much love and care. even though it's a bit too much and he treats you as if you're weak and you cannot protect yourself, it's only because he loves you so much. he loves engaging in any activity with you, he loves giving you his attention, his physical and verbal affection, etc. raiden is completely lovesick.

L ove letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

raiden is the typical shy boy approaching his crush. it's almost stereotypical, that he is extremely flustered when he confesses to you. it wouldn't even surprise you, since he was already super shy and kind towards you. he would always stammer when speaking to you and he would perform some acts of service for you every time you two crossed paths. when raiden confessed his feelings to you, it wasn't anything big. he had a couple gifts and he approached you with a red face as he poured his heart out to you.

M ask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

sort of. raiden is still extremely kind and understanding to you, even though he showed his condescending and possessive side. but nobody else is aware of this behavior. you had no idea he had this side to himself when you started dating him.

N aughty: How would they punish their darling?

raiden would not want to punish you. he thinks you can do no wrong, and he is extremely understanding when you are upset. so no matter what you do, he could never be mad at you or punish you. the worst thing he'd do is gently lecture you as if he was training a dog.

O ppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

as mentioned earlier, raiden would have no problem kidnapping you and taking away your freedom. he doesn't think of it as a bad thing or a punishment, he just wants to keep you safe. the outside world is a very scary place, so you must stay in his protection! he doesn't think of it as taking away a right of yours, he has to do what is best for you. even if you are angry at him right now, someday you'll understand that he is just trying to help you!

P atience: How patient are they with their darling?

raiden is extremely patient. he doesn't care how long it takes for you to calm down from your anger towards him, he'll always love you and take care of you. even if you attempt to escape every day, he doesn't mind at all. he will always look after you and make sure you are okay. even though he hates seeing you unhappy, he has hope that someday you'll be comfortable with your new life.

Q uit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

raiden would never move on. he would be extremely confused if you were to die. what did he do wrong? he thought he was doing so well. he took such good care of you, and you were so healthy! what happened? why did he fail you? it would haunt him for the rest of his life, and he wouldn't know how to live without you. he would even have thoughts of ending his own life. why live the rest of his life in agony with memories of you, if he can just join you in the afterlife? if you were to escape however, raiden would rip the world apart just to find you. you must come back to him. he can keep you safe. please go back to him.

R egret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

raiden would feel immense guilt, but he convinces himself that he is doing what is best for you. you are not safe out there, let him keep you with him. he wouldn't let you go, since he is deeply paranoid of something happening to you. he would occasionally let you wander around outside, but not too far from him or your living space.

S tigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

it may be because of his new power and how he believes you are too weak to take care of yourself. raiden never had these possessive and delusional traits when he was younger. he met you, fell in love, and thought of you like a delicate little flower. since he's earthrealm's champion and he can take care of you, he takes it upon himself to keep you safe. it was a very sudden change in his personality.

T ears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

raiden absolutely detests seeing you in pain. his heart would break at the sight of you crying or isolating yourself. he would try to comfort you, but he would understand if you needed space. he is very kind and gentle when it comes to your emotions, even if he doesn't always understand the root of the issue.

U nique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

raiden isn't as cold or deadly as the classic yandere. he isn't too willing to hurt you or anyone else unless he has to. he is actually quite normal and loving in your relationship. other than the kidnapping and infantilization of course.

V ice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

you can easily trick raiden if you start ignoring him. he can handle you yelling, kicking, or attacking him in any way. but if you start to distance yourself and refuse to give him any of your attention, he would be lost. he would be extremely confused, and he would hate seeing you so empty. he would panic and be worried that he accidentally broke you, so he would attempt to give you a little bit of fresh air just outside your living space. you can use that as your chance to escape.

W it’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

raiden would try everything to avoid hurting you. only if he *has* to, he would. only as a last resort. seeing you in pain is his least favorite thing in the world.

X oanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

raiden would basically worship you. he thinks you can do no wrong, and he adores you so much. he does everything for you. he works for you, provides for you, and makes sure you don't have to lift a finger. he loves serving you, and doesn't want you to feel like a burden. he takes care of you because he loves you. he is also convinced that you already love him, so he wouldn't exactly try to win you over.

Y earn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

he would never snap. raiden would confess to you, and as you get deeper into your relationship, the more he is convinced you love him back. even if you lose feelings, he wouldn't know. the thought of you losing feelings for him wouldn't even cross his mind.

Z enith: Would they ever break their darling?

ultimately, he probably would. if you were stuck in a home by yourself for most of your life with nobody but raiden, and rarely spend time outside... you would be broken. you would lose the light in your eyes and lose your love for the world. your entire life was ruined and raiden accidentally took everything away from you. he thinks he knows what is best for you, so he doesn't consider the possibility of breaking you until it is too late. his greatest fear was seeing you get hurt by the world, but he would become what he fears most.

i hope it isn't noticeable that this isn't proofread LMAOOO

[lovverletters]

Ok so I did send a request idea but im also still thinking about the serial killer guy and im just.

Im so love him so so much and just

Sobbing crying and holding his face gently.

Im so gay. Im such a gay lil man for big scary dude

And I just wanna.... dote on him.

Like ok I mean yes he HAS killed people and all and is kinda super scary

But god my dumb ass with a big heart just seeing him covered in blood and maybe hurt somehow and going like "hey... hey uh... let's get you cleaned up and patched up ok?"

And just being so gentle with him, wiping the blood off and maybe even learning to stitch wounds closed just for him.

Ok so what if maybe he has kidnapped me. He means well I think! Hasn't done anything to hurt me so I mean come on maybe he is lonely and needs some kindness ya know? (Totally not delusional ♡♡♡)

I mean sure it was scary at first and all but like he's a person too right? He's got a heart. He needs some gentle care and love.

Making him a flower crown, putting stickers on his mask and arms, holding his hand gently and just feeling his big palms with my smaller lil hands and treating him with such gentle care.

I am so sappy and gay im sorry

I just love him-

♡Bunny (whos a gay lil idiot♡♡♡)

Yandere! Serial Killer part 2

A/N : this was supposed to come out on Halloween but um things happens💟 hope you like it! Sorry for the ending heh🐰

T/W : blood, mentioned of murder, kidnapping, stockholm syndrome(?), the reader lowkey kinda insane too, yandere themes.

«────── « ⋅ʚ💌ɞ⋅ » ──────»

[Name] stared at the screen of the television showcasing a random horror movie absentmindedly, not paying much attention to it as their thoughts were occupied.

It was well past midnight and they were still wide awake.

They were unable to sleep due to the loud thundering sounds of the storm outside and decided to watch a movie instead and hopefully fall asleep to it.

It didn't work obviously as they were currently staring blankly at the scene of a man being brutally murdered by an axe-wielding killer in the movie. It was concerning how they barely reacted to the grotesque scene.

They've seen real horrors before.

[Name] has essentially been desensitised of seeing blood and gore. The sight being far too common nowadays after they met him.

Their ears perked up at the sound of a jingling keys and the doorknob twisting open. He's home. [Name] turned their gaze from the movie to the man who's currently standing at their front door.

"You're back and.. bloodied as usual" They greeted him, eyes trailing over his current state.

Lorn was covered in blood from head to toe, both his and his victim's they presumed. Cuts and scratches littered his muscled arms, some look fairly deep ones as it bled. The killer stood still as a statue all the while [Name] inspected him, he knew [Name] will be angry at him for walking around bathed in blood so he remained glued to his spot.

"Found a tough one. Scratched and sliced me once with a knife. That's why m'so bloodied, had to cut their limbs off f'touching me" He explained, staring at [Name] who were grabbing the items they had kept in the supply closet.

If they had not known better, they would've thought he was innocent, incapable of harm as he stared at them through his red horned mask with those adoring eyes. Who would've thought that the infamous Lovelorn killer was a small puppy towards his object of affection.

"Come here, let's get you cleaned and patched up. Wouldn't want you to bleed everywhere, blood is hard to get out of carpet okay?" They motioned him to strip his clothes off and dump it in the basin of clothes to be washed separately.

As they wiped the blood off of Lorn, stitched and wrapped him up in bandages they were overcome by a realisation. Something feels off about themselves. A normal person would've screamed bloody murder and ran to the police but here they are pampering a serial killer who they are living with.

'I might be insane myself' they thought to themselves, chuckling humourlessly.

It had been months since they were locked inside this house with only Lorn as a company. They were protesting at first, demanding to be freed but even then deep down they didn't really care. [Name] only did it because it's what they thought a sane person would do.

Maybe they and Lorn aren't that different.

[Name] snapped out of their thoughts when a rough hand were placed on their jaw, the touch so gentle they barely feel it.

"What's wrong?" Lorn was looking at them with those eyes again.

They shook their head and smiled, continuing their work of stitching up closed a cut on his arm. After they were done, Lorn stood up and englufed them in a hug, their sizes difference were apparent as he towers over them with his muscular built.

"Thank you. I love you so much, [Name]" He said, burying his face on their hair.

They pat his back and suddenly a thought crept up in their mind. They bit their lip as they contemplate on wether to ask him or not.

Fuck it.

"Hey, Lorn?" He hummed in reply, too busy mooching off their warmth.

"Why don't I join you the next time you went out for a kill?"

«────── « ⋅ʚ💌ɞ⋅ » ──────»

[dekus-naughty-dikon]

You’ll kill for me?

Izuku Midoriya x Female Reader

TW:Mention of kidnapping, blood, sex, r*pe, murder, details of murder, and anything else I forget.

SMUT ONESHOT, mentions ‘daddy’ and other kinks. My first smut and oneshot Im sorry.

I don’t own this art and idk who did it I’m sorry.

Now imagine Izuku coming home late at night covered in blood that ain’t his. Some will say “I would freak out”, but you simply go

“Hey Izu, why are you covered in blood are you okay?” you go and check to see any injuries. You don’t see none but he starts to chuckle.

“I’m fine puppy, why are you still up?” he says as he pushes the hair in his eyes back. He’s looking at you with adoration but also concern as you never stay up this late, I mean it’s 3 am. Who would stay up that late when they have work in the morning?

“I- I was worried about you, and you know I don’t like sleeping without you,” you say quietly, still trying to find out where the blood came from. Little did you know, he knows why you aren’t asleep. Yes, you don’t like sleeping without and worrying about him, but you were kidnapped not even two weeks ago by an unknown man. He did terrible things to you trying to find out Izuku’s- the number one pro hero- weaknesses. His thinking it was you was a huge mistake on his part. You aren’t his weakness. You are his strength, and why he wakes up every morning. You’ve been having nightmares and suffering from PTSD since they found you. Izuku asked you to move in with him not even an hour after he found you- you all being together for two years, it was understandable. Now you’ve been living with him, and he’s been helping you through your trauma and nightmares. He is there to protect you, and it’s why you can’t sleep without him. You worry about him not only because he’s Japan's number one pro hero but because you love him dearly. You are a little obsessed, but you find it healthy as he is your hero and love. It is healthy- until someone gets in the way of you two being together- or until someone hurts you or him. You become unhinged and forget your natural morals as you don’t want to lose the only person you have left. You didn’t know he was the same way.

“Puppy, you know I’ll come home. Always. Tell me the real reason you are up?” he looks at you with a soft stern look, making sure not to scare you like he does others.

“I- I did tell you, are you hungry? Have you eaten?” you say, trying to change the subject and not get caught in a half lie. You haven’t eaten being so worried about him, and you barely eat anything due to your fear and anxiety due to your trauma. It has affected you greatly, but you try and hide it. You can’t hide anything from Izuku tho, though he is very observant. He sees right through you hiding your fear and pretending to be okay. He knows what that man did to you, and every second of every day since he found out you’ve been kidnapped, his anger grows. It’s like a hot flame that won’t go out even when you pour water on top of it. The only thing that can take out this flame is you being with him, safe and happy. You are safe and comfortable but scared and traumatized. You’ve been going through stages of depression for years now, and this has made it worse, even if you don’t admit it. He sees it all, though, and it makes him angrier at the people who have hurt you in the past and the man who hurt you recently. That man had no right to touch what was his, you.

“Now, puppy, no changing the subject. No, I haven’t eaten yet, but I was going to after I showered,” he says softly but sternly. “Have you eaten?” he looks at you up and down, seeing if any signs of malnutrition are there. You have gotten skinnier since the kidnapping, but you also became weaker physically. Do to the things that man has done.

“I-um…” you hesitate. You hate lying to him. You know if you lie, he will find out the truth. Even if he doesn’t get angry with you but tries and talk to you about why you should eat- sleep- or do anything to keep yourself healthy, you are scared one day he will snap at you as your past exes have. Like your mother and father did when you were a child, like your foster parents, or the kids you went to school with.

You look down at your feet, thinking of how to change the subject, but with your luck, your stomach growls. You go wide-eyed but quickly return to normal as you don’t want to give away what you haven’t eaten.

“I’ll take that as a no, baby; look at me, please,” he says quietly and softly. He tilts your head up by the chin and looks at you in the eyes. Your eyes help him see everything he needs, they help him calm down, and they are like stars in the night sky to him- beautiful. “Baby, why haven’t you eaten? What was the last thing you ate today?” he asked curiously and was full of concern.

“I- I ate some yogurt and fruit this morning after you left. I guess I just forgot to eat again,” you say. Your lips quiver in guilt as you hate doing this to him. Hate seeing him so concerned with you- and for what? Because you haven’t eaten or slept. “I’m sorry-“Before you could even finish your apology, he kissed you softly. It’s the only way to get you to stop talking when you are feeling like this. Kissing and holding you tight is the only way to help you see he isn’t angry or upset- he loves you with everything in him and wants you to be okay.

“No apologies, puppy. I’m not angry or upset, okay.” He looks at you softly and lovingly. “How about we go shower and eat something, okay? Then we can cuddle and try and sleep,” he says softly.

“O-Okay. But you never told me why you are covered in blood. Is it yours?” you say, wiping away the tears that were about to fall. You look over him closer and realize he isn’t hurt, not one scratch or bruise. You become concerned about what happened for him to be covered in blood like this.

“Don’t worry ab-“Before you can even finish, you stop him.

“No, tell me please,” you say desperately. You want to know, and curiosity is eating at you now. “I just want to know, Izu, you never come home this late without calling- even with your hero work. Let alone come home covered in blood,” you say. You start worrying more and more as he won’t tell you.

“Puppy, if I tell you- you might see me differently,” he says quietly and sadly. He takes his fingers off your chin, making you sad, but you ignore that for now. You are more concerned about why he thinks you might see him differently.

“What? You know I can never see you in any other way than I have- I always have. You know I love you.” you say with a small laugh. You are trying to help him see you will be okay with anything he tells you as long as he’s okay.

“You- you wouldn’t look at me the same. You might become scared of me and lea-“He starts the last part, but you shut him up with a kiss. You pull him closer, not caring if you get blood on you. It wouldn’t be the first time you were covered in blood for him anyways.

“Hush!” you say after the deep kiss. You say this loudly, which is very rare for you. It causes him to go wide-eyed and look at you in shock. You never speak louder than an inside voice- speaking this loud means you are serious about this and want to know. That or you got upset about what he was saying, if not both.

“I will never leave you, Izuku. I love you more than anything, and I will never be scared of you, understand?” You say sternly. Which is even more of a shock to him- and honestly, a turn-on. “Tell me please, I want to know Izuku,” you saying his name like this makes him want to kiss you deeply and never let you go, but it also makes him sad that you are getting upset with him enough to call him his full name.

“I.. I killed someone.” he whispered. He backs up and turns his back towards you. You look at him in shock- him killing someone? Never. You seen him get angry at villains before but never seen him at a point where you thought he would kill them. “I killed him Y/N. The man who hurt you. The man who-“ he stops for a moment to collect his words, “the man who kidnapped, tortured, and r*ped you. I killed him, happily. I was so happy when I did it. I was so happy when I found him finally. I would do it again for you- I will always do ANYTHING for you.” he says loudly and sternly. He tries and speaks softly with you always but right now he is so scared of what you might do he forgets everything.

You look at him, his back still facing toward you. You were shocked but had butterflies. Did he kill someone for you? All because they hurt you. You didn’t care he brought up what happened, and you didn’t care he mentioned what the horrible man had done to you. You just cared about him. The fact he killed someone for you makes you blush and have a belly full of butterflies. It makes your heart jump out of your chest with happiness and love. Sure, anyone would be scared hearing that, but you? You killed multiple people for him. The people that dared lay a finger on your man and get away with it. The women who try and get in between you, too- you don’t hesitate. Like him, you are happy when you do it and would do it again. You never told him as he is a hero, and murder is a crime.

You walk closer to him, which he hears and tenses up. He is scared of what you will say and do. He doesn’t want to lose you- he would go crazier than he already has. When he feels you behind him, he slowly turns around halfway but doesn’t look in your direction. His hands are in fists as he tries to control his fear tears.

“Look at me, please,” you say quietly and softly, which shocked him but made him more scared as you might leave him like this. He slowly turns his head towards you and looks you in the eyes. You see the fear and anger of mentioning that man again in his eyes. He, right now, is blind by fear and can’t tell what you are thinking or feeling.

“How? How did you kill him?” you say softly and curiously. This made him hesitate, but he was shocked. He isn’t going to hope you will stay because who will remain with a murderer? Yeah, who would stay with a murderer?

“I- I tortured him,” he whispered, looking done. He can’t make eye contact with you telling you this. “I stabbed him, choked him, everything someone does in a torture chamber. I got creative with some of it, but most of it was to see him in pain, like the pain he caused you,” he says, trying not to smile or smirk when thinking of that man’s face in agony.

“Oh, wow,” you say a little louder. What shocked him was you sounded interested- you had wide eyes and a slight smile, but he was still looking down, so he didn’t see this and got scared. “Did he beg?” that made him look up quickly. That’s when he saw the wide eyes and slight smile you were trying to hide.

“Yes,” he says carefully. Trying to examine your reaction, but he was too confused and blind by fear still to understand anything you were expressing. “Yes, he begged, like a bitch.”

“Good,” you say. He goes wide-eyed as your smile is clearer to see, and you hug him tightly.

“W-what? You aren’t mad or upset?” he says, still shell-shocked at what is happening.

You stop the close hug just enough to look him in the eyes. “No, why would I be?” you ask curiously. You see nothing wrong with killing someone for the person you love most.

“I-I killed someone-“ he says, wide eyes and shocked still.

“Yes, and I’ve killed for you,” you say quietly, like telling a secret.

He goes wide-eyed, looking at you. He never thought you, out of all people, could be capable of murder. It all runs through his head, and some things start to connect. The secretary that went missing after locking herself and him in the bathrooms at his agency, trying to have sex with him knowing he was taken. The couple of girls at the coffee shop grabbed his ass when he went in to check on things turned up dead- murdered brutally-actually. The villain who stabbed him during a mission in Tokyo died in his jail cell. Everyone who has landed a hand on him in a harmful or nonconsensual way- dead or missing still. You killed them- brutally. Tortured them just because they put their hands on your man. His shock suddenly goes into lust and love as he looks at your eyes and face.

“You- you have?” he questioned. That is a dumb question if you ask yourself. He looked at your eyes and lips, begging for an answer.

“Yes, and I would do it again in a heartbeat,” you say calmly. To anyone else, it would be creepy, but to him, it was beautiful and sexy. He quickly catches your lips with his- kissing you softly but urgently. Never would he thought you would kill for him- this isn’t the first person he’s killed for you. Won't be the last.

“Fuck,” he whispered after you two separated for a breather. “Tell me how, baby, please,” he says lowly and quietly, ready to kiss you again. He pulls you closer, not caring about a single thing- not his clothes- not the blood all over him- nothing.

“I mean, you read their autopsies, right?” you look at him, questioning. He smirks and kisses you again roughly, but it ends as he speaks again.

“Yeah- I wanna hear it from you. That beautiful mouth of yours, And I’ll tell you how I’ve killed the others that dared lay a hand on you,” he whispers in your ear. It gives you tingles and causes you to shiver. Has he killed more people for you? This turned you on more than you thought it would. You jump up, wrapping your legs around his waist and staring into his eyes, smiling.

“Izu, you’ve killed multiple people for me?” you say as you look at him, getting closer to his lips, “that’s sexy, baby,” you whisper as you kiss him, in which he grabs your ass to hold you up and pushes his tongue past your lips.

Now tongues swirling around each other, sloppy kissing, and him grabbing your ass with your legs around his waist and arms around his neck to have him as close as possible. It becomes heated quickly, as you two haven’t had sex since before the kidnapping- him wanting to give you time- and you being too traumatized to think of anything like this. But now, you two have found out each other's dirty little secret and are as turned on for each other as animals in mating season.

He puts one of his hands in your hair and deepens the kiss even more, walking slowly to the bathroom. When he sits you on the sink counter, you gasp, giving him more access to your mouth. Tongue deep in your throat, you moan when he tugs on your hair in the right spot. He stops to breathe but only briefly as his lips find their way to your neck- leaving love bites and his marks all over your soft sweet skin. He soon discovers the sweet spot and sucks like a leech; making your moan louder. You are a panting, heaving, moaning mess when he stops and rips off your shirt. Seeing you aren’t wearing a bra- as you were going to go to sleep when he arrived home safely- he latches onto one of your nipples and flicks his tongue rapidly. Squeezing the other and sucking on your other nipple, he moans onto your nipple when you start to grind against his dick. Oh, how hard he is for you and how you love it. He stops just for a few seconds to catch his breath.

“Tell me, baby,” he says, kissing your neck, “tell me how you killed those bitches.” He speaks into your skin and starts to suck, leaving more of his marks.

“I- I had to find out where they lived first,” you say, panting a little from the sensation of his lips on your skin. “Then I just waited till they were alone to sneak in. Dumb whores didn’t lock their windows.” You giggle a little remembering how the dumb ass girls didn’t lock their windows at night and how the men were so easy to find.

You hear him chuckle into your neck, “Oh? Now that isn’t very smart of them,” he says, licking over a new mark he just left.

“They didn’t know how to fight either. It was easy dragging them out of their soft little beds and tying them up. The men, not so much, so I just knocked them out.” you say as you are a panting moaning mess. He licks down your breast to your belly button sucking and leaving marks all the way, “I used things they had, like their knives and other things that can cause damage. One had a fun crowbar.” you giggle. “Most of them didn’t last long enough when I was cutting each of their fingers off and passed out, but the ones who did last had some interesting words to say to me. It was so funny and fun hearing them beg and curse at me,” you say, stopping and gasping as you feel your shorts being ripped off. Izuku lays you back to pull your panties off with his teeth. Sucking and licking each part he goes by. You were lost in his eyes as they looked at you, pulling your panties down.

“Awe go on, baby, I wanna hear what all you did to those son of bitches.” he says as he licks your pelvic bone down to your thigh. He sucks the inside of your thigh, leaving marks near your sweet little sex, stopping and hovering, waiting for you to start talking again.

“I-I stabbed most of them, but the ones who hurt you-“ you stopped and gasped when you felt his tongue run up and down your slit. Back arching a little and watching him lick slowly up and down against your sex makes you quiver and shake. “The ones who hurt you- I-I, fuck, I made sure they felt every inch of what I cut and sliced them with. Some passed out when I got to their toes, but some lasted till I cut off their hand. Chopping them up was-“ you stop as he starts to suck on your clit but then continue, “so fun knowing what they have done to you. Their blood made puddles, and they whined like little bitches.” you start to moan uncontrollably as he sucks and fingers you with two fingers rapidly.

He moans into your sex, and his tongue flicks up and down rapidly and skillfully. “Mm puppy, you taste so fucking good,” he says into your sex which causes vibrations. It makes your back arch even more and pant.

“Come on baby, cum for me,” he says in a low tone voice that causes more vibrations to your sex. When he sucks on your clit again and arches his fingers up to hit your sweet spot, you cum instantly on his face. Lose all focus on anything else, just the feeling of his tongue and fingers inside you. He licks up all the cum from you, sitting up and pulling you close to him.

“Good girl,” he says against your lips as he kisses you. You taste yourself as he roughly kisses you. “Such a good girl for me. Even killed people for me,” he says lowly into your mouth. You grip his shirt, letting him know you want it off. He smiles and pulls off his shirt showing his chest and abs. All those scars turn you on more than you already were.

“Come on, baby, how about we shower? I’m not saying we are finished, but that bastard's blood is starting to get aggravating, and I don’t want his blood anywhere near my girl,” he says, lifting you from the counter to have you stand on the floor. You pull him from the rim of his pants to the shower, which he happily follows. Getting to the shower, you undo his pants, which he slides off in a heartbeat with his underwear.

His length is seeping precum and hard, but he knows he can wait. He doesn’t want that bastard's blood getting on you. Starting the shower, grabbing a loaf to scrub him off, you can’t stop looking into his eyes. He hasn’t looked away from you once, and when you look at him, all you see is him looking at you with adoration and love. Finishing scrubbing the last bit of blood off of him, he starts to wash you with a different loaf slowly and softly. Being very gentle around you injures that bastard caused you. They are healed, but he doesn’t want to risk anything. When he gets to your sex, he puts the loaf down, knowing you are sensitive, slowing and sensually washing your sex but not without fingering you in the process. His chest against your back and your ass against his dick, he fingers your slowly, going faster with each moan you let out.

“Have to make sure every,” he thrust his fingers into roughly but not to the point it hurts,” part,” thrust,” of that body,” thrust, “is clean.” he thrust rapidly into you, now making your back arch and you moan and pant leaning back against him. “Right baby?” he asks knowing he won’t get an answer.

“D-daddy,” you moan, putting a hand against the wall and the other in his hair. You grind against his dick, making him grunt.

Right when you were about to cum her stops and takes his fingers out, making you cry out a whine. “Shh baby, you’ll get to cum. But does my good girl want to make daddy cum first?” he lowly says in your ear.

“Ye-yes, Daddy,” you say as you turn around to kiss him; he kisses back roughly and grabs your ass. You kiss down his neck, leaving marks and bites on his skin, licking the scars on his cheek and abs.

Getting onto your knees, you stare at his length, he is much bigger than average, and you love it. To you, it was a gut wrecker. You look up at him, seeing him look down at you and pet your hair. You start to do kitten licks on his head, which makes him grunt and groan.

“Don’t tease me now, baby. That ain’t nice,” he says lowly with a grunt.

You start to suck his head just as he likes, slowly going down and deepthroating him. He grunts in pleasure and grabs your hair just right. You bobbing your head up and down slowly and sucking ever so tenderly makes him wild. He throws his head back, feeling so much pleasure he can barely breathe right. You always know how to suck him right, and he loves it.

“Fuck. Good girl, so good at sucking my cock.” he moans. He grabs your hair tighter and starts to throat fuck you slowly and rough to the point it hits the back of your throat.

“Such,” thrust, “a good,” thrust, “cock sucker,” thrust. He thrust into your mouth, repetitively groaning. Tears start to run down your face, and all you hear is the slurping sound you make, sucking his dick. “Yeah? You like sucking daddy’s cock?” he groans. You suck a little hard to let him know you say yes. He grunts more and thrusts, becoming more sloppy, “fuck I’m going to cum,” he says, thrusting faster into your mouth.” Swallow it like a good cocksucker.” he says. Thrusting more, he then cums down your throat, throwing his head back and moaning. “Fuck.”

When he takes his dick out of your mouth, you show him all the cum you will swallow. This makes him groan and become more turned on by the second. He picks you up and wraps your legs around him putting your back against the shower wall.

Kissing you, he wraps his hand around your breast and squeezes them right. “You want daddy to fuck you now? Or do you need more time, baby? I understand if you do.” he says softly, rubbing his thumb against your cheek and looking you so lovingly in the eyes.

“Please,” you say. “Please fuck me, Daddy,” you say quietly. You want him as much as he wants you, and nothing will stop you from having your man.

“Mmm fuck baby,” he says and kisses you, “you sure? I don’t want you to feel rushed or anything.” He says sweetly, he cares too much about you to rush you into things like this, and he understands if you want to say no.

“Please, Daddy. I want you so bad,” you say louder but not too much louder than usual. He looks you in the eyes one last time until he starts kissing you roughly but tenderly again. He lifts you so he can line up his dick with your entrance. Slowly pushing you onto his dick, you both moan at the feeling. Inch by inch, you lower on his dick till it’s inside you.

“Fuck. You feel so good,” he moans. “Tell me when to start moving, okay puppy?” he grunts—kissing you sweetly and waiting for your okay. Once you give the OK, he slowly thrusts in and out of you, not wanting to hurt you. You both moan and look into each other eyes. Never would you think you would have sex with someone as yandere as you. You love that he killed someone for you. You love, he would kill for you. To you, it’s the biggest turn-on, and to him, it is too. Both of you think about how lucky you two are to have each other. You love each other more than life itself, and nothing can or will change that.

“F-faster, Daddy,” you moan. He then starts to thrust faster and faster. He was soon going as fast and hard as he could. You become a moaning mess as he hits your sweet spot repeatedly. “Daddy! Fuck!” you moan.

“Yeah? You like it when daddy fucks you like this?” he grunts as he fucks as fast as he can, “Fuck, such a good girl taking all-, “ he moans, “of my fucking cock.” he moans and groans as he fucks you. He loves watching your face twist in pleasure; he loves hearing your moans as his dick is deep inside you.

“G-gonna cum, Daddy,” you moan and arch your back. You moan as he pulls your hair and sucks your neck and breast.

“Fuck.” he is now pounding into you at an inhuman speed, gripping your hair and ass. Sucking on your breast as you moan for him and clench around him. “Good girl- cum for daddy- cum for daddy,” he says and moans throwing his head back as he feels himself getting close. “Be a good little cumslut and come for daddy,” he says.

That was your final straw as you came instantly clawing his back and moaning into his ear. He loves every second of you clawing and moaning as it makes him cum deep inside you. “Fuck, that’s my fucking girls, that’s my-“ he breaths heavily, “girl.” he finishes his compliment and kisses you sweetly and tenderly. Not wanting to take it out of you like it’s his favorite place to be.

You breathe heavily and lay your head on his chest. In which he happily accepts and kisses the top of your head.

“Good girl, I love you so much, puppy,” he says as he kisses your head and holds you tighter. He pulls out of you, saving you still in his arms, and putting you towards the water, he rinses the cum off and out of you. After he turns off the shower, he lays both of you down in the bed, not worrying about clothes.

You cuddle more into his chest, happy he is lying with you and finally home. You are worn out from worrying, crying, panicking, and loving sex. He is, too, but he is also worn out from dealing with an issue before coming home to you. He is happy you accepted what he did and who he is, as well as glad you are the same type of crazy as him. He never wants to let you go and never wants to lose you. You are His light in the darkness and will forever be that light that never goes out.

“Come on, baby, make some ramen and watch a movie. We can sleep when we are done eating, okay?” he says quietly into your ear—looking at you as you look up.

“Okie, can we watch a Marvel movie?” you ask with big puppy eyes.

He chuckles as he figures it would be Marvel or Godzilla. “of course, baby, what else would we watch?”

THANK YOU AHHH… okay it took me a couple of hours but I finished it. My god that was something to write right off the top of my head at 3 am.

[mekakitsune]

could you do some moira romantic and nsfw headcanons? she got me in a chokehold frfr

moira nsfw hcs || cw: mind breaking, power imbalance, dom/sub dynamics

moira looks after her experiments, you mustn't disobey her rules for you, she knows whats best and always has.

follow her orders and you will be rewarded. shes patient, allowing you to fix your mistakes, but you must not make the same mistake again.

if you happen to disobey her? she will ignore you. ignore your pleas for her to touch you, use you, even speak to you. takes it too far, by the time she decides you are ready for her words, you are a mess, tears streaming down your face as you sit pitifully at her feet, muttering apologies.

you want her to speak? so be it. she will remind you of everything you did to make her angry, calling you names, reminding you of your place. breaking you down with venom in her voice.

-

"after all i do for you...what a shame" she spits, fingers laced in your hair. "get up."

she tugs your hair as she pulls you to your feet. you are standing in front of her fully clothed form, while you are completely bare.

"sit." she gestures to her lap. you hesitated, straddling her with a false hope of affection.

her hands find your hips, and you want to cry again. her fingers are mean, pressing bruises into plush skin.

you want to fall foward, into her chest, but you know not to touch without permission.

"if you want to cum, do it yourself. right here." her voice is low, making shivers run down your spine at her tone. you feel her thigh move between your legs, pressing harshly against your exposed cunt.

whining at the contact, you move your hips, humping her thigh as she watches you closely. she doesnt say anything, only deep exhales coming from her as you ruin her slacks.

"i-im close...please" you sob, needing her to do something, anything.

"already? arent you pathetic.." she coos. suddenly she stops you, moving her fingers past your hip, allowing them to dip into your pussy. you cry out in relief, hips bucking as you ride her fingers. her thumb finds your clit, rubbing tight circles that push you over the edge.

"cum then. go on little one..." she removes her fingers from your dripping hole, focusing her attention to you throbbing clit. she rubs hard and fast as you fall into her chest, sobbing as you are pushed over the edge, cunt spasming painfully around nothing.

shes ruined your orgasm, but you cant say you care. the neglectful behaviour made you greatful for anything she gave you. crying softly, she moves you onto a table, lab equipment falls to the ground as she towers over you.

"i wont remind you again. listen to what you are told, or i will find someone else to play with." her fingers grip your chin, eyes dark. you nod dumbly.

nobody knows you like her. she knows what you need. she will always take care of you. you just need to listen to her, or pay the price of disobedience.

[yooniesim]

I know nobody gives a shit about this in comparison so posting a save file with uncredited builds in it, but reminder of that time @mapanou started calling me out of name and spewing hateful nazi ideology at me out of nowhere just bc i made a lukewarm criticism of a paywaller and I dared to say black people are often criticized more for being angry... but since only one of my parents are black that ain't allowed 😬 some of yall acted like this was okay but I didn't forget it, I notice how some of their friends are acting all betrayed now bc their homie turned out to be a sims content thief but you knew who you were laying down with clearly. You were glad to support an extremely nasty ass person when the vitriol was directed at me, but God forbid someone not credit a build! anyway guess who was struck down and it wasn't me bitch 💀

That aside, since the insufferable cunt had the nerve to mention the One Drop Rule, which has been used as a tool to discriminate against all black people and keep their mixed offspring othered for as many generations as possible, here's some sources on what it actually refers to (and some related articles about the struggles of mixed race people). It's a method of discrimination by white supremacists, not a way for mixed race people that you think are unworthy of speaking to "claim" to be black. If you're lurking, mapanou, i hope you and your friends read them and understand something you should have already at your "very big age".

One Drop Rule on Wikipedia (for the basic concept + more sources)

How The "One Drop Rule" Became a Tool of White Supremacy

How The Nazis Were Inspired by Jim Crow

Understanding the Stressors and Types of Discrimination That Can Affect Multiracial Individuals

Exploring Black mixed-race experiences of Black rejection

Not Enough Or Double The Prejudice: On Being Black & Asian American

Why Imposter Syndrome Goes Deep for Multiracial People

When Your Own Family Is Racist Toward You

^ the basic gist for the lazy. and just an added bit. I don't know if mapanou has ever seen me, because I barely know them and certainly didn't share with them, but I have been doxxed plenty and my pics probably shared to them by others and im obviously not white though i am light skinned. im very proud of my dark natural hair, brown eyes, thick lips and big nose that I all got from my father. I have nothing to prove nor hide about who I am. I am black and asian and white and I love every part of what makes me, me. I am mixed race and if you don't believe or like me as I am that's your problem not mine. just wanna clear that up for all the people that may have been confused about it. and for all my followers that are mixed, especially black and asian, I love you and you have a place here. your voices and experiences are valuable and you deserve to be heard. that's all I got to say.

[spectrum-core]

STEPHCLAIR IS BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD

Alternative title: a very angry (and tired) Full Stop fan's thesis.

ok, so me being the stephan/sinclair comparison's strongest hater is a bit i really like to lean into, but for the sake of keeping things semi-serious i will try to keep the actual essay content as free of me ranting my frustrations as humanly possible (which i mean commitement to the bit aside this will be hard bc it is frustrating to see people calling them both the same character, at best it shows a very surface level understanding of either character and at worst it shows just reducing them to cookie cutter meme fandom archetypes neither character actually fits into, so bear with me if i slip up and make unserious comments from time to time)

so before i start the actual essay let me say this: this essay doesnt even scratch the surface of how much i hate this comparison you guys cant even possibly fucking imagine ive been obssessed and i mean OBSSESSED with the full stop office since 2021 and im glad i wasnt in the limbus prerelease fanbase because if i had to see people comparing my beautiful boy and beloved best friend to a guy we had no info about other than "hes based of the guy from demian" i would have turned into the joker this is not even about saving my own mental health this is about sparing the entire pjm fandom of the monster i would have turned into

spoilers for ruina and limbus, universe terminology heavy and surface level references and interpretations of demian by herman hesse because imma keep it real with you guys the first and only time i read that book i was still in high school and i barely remember shit.

Table of contents:

Stephan - a summary

Sinclair - a summary 2.1. Emil Sinclair in Demian (1919) 2.2. Emil Sinclair in Limbus Company (2023)

Addressing common arguments

1.- Stephan - a summary

And of course I will start with Stephan, because I love him very much, just like Liwei he's one of my favorite pjm characters (yeah i like him more than your favorite popular character don't ask) so it's not surprising that i have A Lot to say about him, right?

And of course, I do.

As I said in the serrated duo post, a core part of my perception of the Full Stop office depends on the fact that they are poor. Mentions of money are common all across many factions in the game, yes, but the Full Stops are extremely constant about money, how taking a wrong turn means losing more than they can afford, how they can't afford to drop their weapons because they were too expensive, how even getting the permissions to be able to buy and wield these weapons was ridiculously expensive and so on. Of course, Stephan is the one talking about this the most (something I will elaborate on later), but Liwei and Tamaki also make a few ocassional mentions to it in their dialogue and keypages and considering this is a shared business it just makes sense that this is something that affects all of them.

These are just some few of the callbacks to money that Stephan alone does in his dialogue, without focusing in keypage text or what Liwei and Tamaki have to say about it.

And idk man, at least to me the difference between social classes is an important aspect for their characterization, specially because of how constant the concern with money is for Stephan. From this point alone comparing them feels like erasing a core aspect of Stephan's characterization, a lot about Stephan (and the Full Stop office as a whole, let's be real here) starts making more sense once you read the office as lower-middle class (and I'm saying lower middle class because they can afford some place to live and their weapons, but to me these guys are the types who precisely because of their need to keep bullets at all times can't pay for water or electricity all the time and sometimes they simply can't afford food or if they do they can spend a week straight eating nothing but unsalted pasta).

Now, going back to Stephan being the most outward about his complaints with money, he is in general the most outward about all problems the office is facing, to the point in which he doesn't mind inconveniencing everyone else with his rants, being one of the few guests who interrupt Angela's introductory speech and getting into Tamaki's nerves (something he's well aware he's doing, as these two know each other) at least two times through the course of their pre-battle cutscene, even Roland comments after the reception on how he wishes he would always have been as open about his problems as Stephan was.

However, it's worth nothing that he doesn't spend the entire cutscene crying about his miseries, and he only starts losing hope at three key moments: when they can't kill Eileen inmediately (making them waste more bullets than needed), when Argalia shows up (forcing them to retreat and making them fail their mission, meaning they won't get paid for this after they already lost a ton of money, as well as turning the situation into something much more dangerous than what they had signed up for) and once they enter the Library (an Urban Plague grade threat they have little to no information about, when him and Tamaki are almost out of bullets so Liwei is essentially the only fixer with some chance of putting up a fight and, you know, making it out alive).

Now, while it's true that Stephan is someone who dislikes danger, he isn't someone who isn't used to seeing gruesome events, his instinctive reaction to seeing a guy getting his head put into a meat grinder was cracking jokes and calling the concept of thought gears "a load of horseshit", which is something that falls in line with him being a somewhat experienced Fixer (sure, grade 5 isn't amazing but we can assume it's still either in the higher side of average or barely above average, and for someone specialized in firearms, which are far from the best weapon in the city, getting that high means he must have some experience and skill, right? more so considering he's been at this for 5 years at most) who has seen a fair share of horrid shit and can be unfazed by (most of) it as long as his own safety isn't on the line.

Another point is... he dislikes danger and is always wary about money and expenses, to the point in which he enjoys checking his bank account (or at least he believes so, if we go for the theory of the artbook profiles being more a mix of what the characters perceive themseves as/would describe themselves as to others, which is a theory i go by, I see him as someone who's convinced he does that for fun instead as out of desperation), but this seems to be more a generalized feeling of impending doom at everything rather than something that can be traced back to a particular traumatic event (anything can be dangerous, anything can cost him money), dude's from the backstreets after all, he's seen shit and he's used to assuming the worst. How I see Stephan, he's a guy who already expects bad things to happen but once things go wrong he starts freaking out about how this time They're Screwed For Real, but he never really tricks himself into believing "maybe things will turn out just fine this time?" or who thinks "well, we've done this before, surely we can handle it again."

This is not very related to Stephan as a character in terms of personality but I think it's still an important point to make as it is particularly related to body mods, his physical condition and his body shape.

So we can easily say that Stephan is a strong dude, at least if compared to real world standards without the fancy and insane body mods we see people in the city have access to. He carries that huge rifle around with his bare hands, something that Tamaki doesn't do and that not even Stephan himself in earlier iterations of his dessign did, and his main talent (which based of my theories is something that can be assumed as "something he's proud enough of to consider it the thing he does best") is physical labor.

Pictured, Tamaki's talksprite, carrying a rifle almost as long as she is tall with a strap supporting the weight on her shoulders, like a normal person.

Also pictured, an earlier iteration of Stephan's dessign, carrying the same rifle his current version does, but also holding it with the help of a similar strap supporting the weight on his shoulders.

And finally, Stephan's current dessign, holding that shit with his bare fucking hands in an exhibition of his brute animal strength, what the fuck is wrong with this man (affectionate)

And Stephan's artbook profile, the important part here is his speciality being physical labor, not only he's strong but he aknowledges this.

However, I made a point about the Full Stop office being poor, right? Even Roland says that "giving a whole office augmentation procedures is cheaper than keeping a decent supply of bullets in stock" (not the exact phrasing).

At least personally, I see this as Roland essentially saying "it would be cheaper (and more efficient) to get body mods for everyone in the office and buy another (cheaper) type of weaponry instead", but as things stand, the Full Stops can afford to either buy more ammunition and maintain their weapons, OR to get body mods, and since their whole deal is firearms... well, they can't really Stop investing in them, meaning they have no body mods At All and they got their grades purely out of their own physical strength.

Similarly, Stephan makes a similar point about how body augmentations are required for people to be able to run while carrying their weapons around (specifically talking about the rifles he and Tamaki use).

And... you know, the whole point is that they couldn't run carrying their weapons because they were too heavy, Argalia mocked them for that, Liwei urged them to drop their weapons, something they refused to do because of the prices.

Lastly on this point, while it's true that Ruina talksprites have a very bad case of Long Anime Legs (to the point in which how Roland's legs take about 2/3 of his height is a common joke), if we focus only on his head and torso, Stephan looks pretty Wide, and not only because he's wearing thick, fluffy and multilayered clothing, as other characters wearing similar clothing styles still look thinner than him.

This is all to say: I don't think this guy is a twink, or thin at all. He's a prime example of the strongman build to me and this is yet another hill I'm willing to die on watch project moon turn him into a beanpole once he inevitably shows up in limbus and me turning into the first real world distortion as a consequence.

Finally, Stephan is very notoriously the most informal member of the office, not only being the only one who doesn't wear any sort of formal clothing fully prioritizing comfort and practicality over looks but also completely disregarding formalities with his attitude at work (again, he interrupts Angela's introductory monologue, and again, his first two lines when being introduced are him cracking jokes), being the only member of the office to swear on screen and using several informal expressions and metaphors through both the reception dialogue and his keypage story.

And for good measure, he's a compilation of Stephan being the creature he is.

The literal introduction of the characters, also known as the moment in which Stephan became one of my favorite characters because he's Just Like Me Fr

Very normal behavior for someone who hates blood and violence and isn't used to seeing it. This man is more than capable (and willing, assuming money is involved) to murder kill.

Which, I mean, this attitude is very different from what we see from Sinclair.

2.- Sinclair, a summary

In retrospect I probably should have made this one first because I'm gonna be honest with you, Sinclair is one of the sinners I care about the least (I still like him and think he's pretty cool mind you I just don't vibe too much with most of the tropes making up the character) so what I have to say about him is less me grasping for straws and subtext because I don't care enough about him to be bothered with a super serious and in depth analysis like I did with Stephan and more things we can explicitly see about him in game and things that happen in the novel Demian.

And if I can have a small parenthesis here, people saying that one of my favorite pjm guys Ever is in any way similar to a guy who despite being pretty cool is just Not the type of character I fully vibe with... really, it gets annoying fast. Anyway back to the serious analysis now.

2.1- Emil Sinclair in Demian (1919)

To be able to understand Sinclair as he is depicted in Limbus Company, it is important to first be familiar with the source material of the original iteration of the character, that's it we're doing your high school homework by compiling several literary analysis of a symbolic psychological early 20th century autobiographical novel i hope you guys signed up for this (and if you didn't, though luck! i will do this anyway, I love literary analysis).

In the novel, young Emil finds himself torn between the worlds of light (which can be equated to the Garden of Eden, but it's more tangible meaning for our protagonist is his childhood home and family, a serene and well structure/organized space where he can be innocent, untainted by the evils of the outside world) and darkness (basically all the scary shit that goes on outside, where people do evil things for the sake of it), he finds himself tempted by the violence of the outside world, particularly through the actions of his classmate Franz Kromer, which eventually leads him to consider that due to being exposed to this tainted world of evil he no longer can return to the world of good and innocence.

Here, the character of Demian acts as a guide, someone who helps Sinclair to trascend this binary perception of good vs evil and to see himself as someone worthy of happiness because him witnessing the world of evil didn't taint him as a person but rather merely showed him another face of the world, Demian here mentions the Mark of Cain as a symbol of mental strenght and freedom, considering that bearers of this mark are capable of making their own choices and should be able to go beyond their assigned roles, being able to embody aspects of both worlds. This is to say that Demian's view is less focused on good vs evil, instead taking a more order vs chaos approach (without giving an explicit moral character to either).

In the book, the symbol of a bird breaking out of the egg is frequently used to represent Emil's personal growth, the egg represents safety and innocence, but a bird must eventually leave the egg or it will die, and getting out of the egg is a process than can be seen as violent, as a bird must fight to get out of the egg, and getting out of the egg represents birth but also an irreversible change, it can be seen as breaking out of the world of light and getting permanently in the world of darkness since a broken shell can't be fixed, but it can also mean achieving the enlightment and personal balance to not feel permanently bound to a condition, place or state of being and therefore growing as a person by learning to see himself as a whole human instead of supressing his "evil side" by only forcing the "good side" to surface.

Max Demian is here to show this second meaning of growth/self improvement (while also explaining that Sinclair is permamently growing and must always keep this balance between all the parts conforming the whole being that is himself rather that trying to make parts of himself antagonize each other). This idea of personal growth being one of the core themes of the book.

2.2- Emil Sinclair in Limbus Company (2023)

With Sinclair's source media analyzed (at a very surface level, mind you), we now can start talking about the depiction of Sinclair in Limbus Company, how it parallels the book, why the book symbolism is important for this instance of Sinclair and so on.

When we are first introduced to Sinclair in the game he's clearly nervous, he doesn't know what he's supposed to do as he hasn't worked for a similar company before and he isn't used to the gruesome sight of the bus eating people, this does fit inmediately in the motif of a naive person with limited experience about the world (well, to be fair to him most people won't be seeing man-eating buses at a regular basis, but the average backstreets dweller would be familiar with equally violent situations).

With this said, despite Sinclair's obviously nervous behavior... he isn't really a pessimist like Stephan was, in fact, almost every chapter (counting cantos, intervallos and the short mini chapters such as the Dante's notes update episode) have at least one key moment with him trying to rationalize horrible stuff as something much less violent, or simply going "but I thought this thing didn't work like this..." when confronted with the more horrible realities in the city. He thought the G corp veterans were really going to let them pass without a fight, he thought the people being controlled by headhens were just actors wearing mascot costumes, he thought mermaids were the beautiful half-woman half-fish creatures he heard about in fairy tales, and there's more examples but I don't really feel like looking for The Entire Fucking Plot Because This Guy Is An Actual Protagonist Instead Of A Background Guy Like Stephan Was to make my point clearer than it already is. And it's only when he realizes that the real world doesn't fit his expectations that he panics.

Well, there is one exception to this pattern: his own canto. Here, he panics inmediately as soon as K corp's nest is mentioned and spends the first half of the chapter pleading to turn back while saying that they are going to get killed. So what is different here with the rest of the plot?

Obviously, the fact that is related to his very own very personal very specific trauma. That is to say, unlike Stephan who is wary of anything that can put him on danger or cost him more money than it should, Sinclair has a very specific traumatic event that makes him act Like That (sure, he gets scared and nervous outside that, but these are more normal "I'm unfamiliar with this and I don't fully know how to react, this is normal behavior in a human being" reactions than outright "I am Actually Terrified due to being reminded of an actual traumatic event, this reaction is a textbook definition of post-traumatic stress disorder").

HOWEVER, Sinclair being someone who's deeply traumatized and kind of a scaredy cat when it comes to violence and unfamiliar situations... it doesn't mean that he's incompetent or a bad fighter. Almost all of his identities are terrifyingly good fighters (at least in their lore), Los Mariachis fear jefe Sinclair, Cinq director Sinclair is someone most association members are terrified to duel even during training, Blade Lineage Sinclair is considered a talented killer (it's also worth noting that save maybe for the mariachi one, in none of these mirror worlds Sinclair is precisely happy of being recognized as "the guy who's very scary when he fights people", unlike Stephan who I don't think he particularly likes killing but has a more "as long as I get paid..." mentality about it), the only "not very good at this" Sinclair id I can think of is the molar boatworks id where he's more a mechanic than a fighter so he fears he's lagging behind in that aspect. Hell, even the Canon Timeline so to speak (which is to say: his base identity) has him carrying that huge halberd, going on a frenzy attacking some already mutilated inquisitor's corpse, piercing through Guido's armor and dealing a fatal blow that finally killed him for real. To compare, Stephan is good at physical work, but we don't know about his close combat capacities other than the fact that he dislikes it, for Sinclair however we know he's terrifyingly good at physical combat.

Now, I've seen a lot of people call Sinclair a twink and while it's one of these words that nobody agrees on what it means, let's give it the benefit of doubt and say "alright, for the duration of this analysis let's settle on a twink being a young looking (regardless of actual age), thin man with almost no facial/body hair".

Since Sinclair is a rich guy (not just Any Rich Guy though, we're talking of someone whose family had ties to a Wing, probably not some elite guy like Daniel or Hong Lu, but not a self perceived "mediocre" nest dweller like Samjo either), and pressumably not very experienced in combat in most mirror worlds (we know he has no prior experience in the base one where he joined Limbus, at least), let's say that he has enough body mods for him to be much stronger than he looks like despite being thin, he does look thin and young and much to my dissapointment he also has no facial hair, so yeah, under this very broad definition of the term he is a twink.

However if you start adding personality archetypes to the definition he stops being one almost inmediately, as we've been shown time after time that his "submissive" attitude is mostly a result of him not knowing too well how to impose himself and just going along with what the rest say or do, but he's starting to grow tired of that ever since Hell's Chicken (even if he clearly still isn't great at that), as it should be more than obvious for anyone who even just googled "demian herman hesse literary analysis", Sinclair is undergoing a lot of changes even now, and the game is doing a good job at portraying that.

Honestly I also think he'd be hotter with a sleeper build but really, I don't care enough about him to argue about that.

And for the last point, precisely due to his upbringing as a rich guy AND his traumatic experience with Kromer, Sinclair is not only a very polite and mild mannered guy (again, unlike resident creature Stephan), but also he tries to take as little space as possible, both literally and metaphorically, as Dante notices near the end of canto 3 when they finally comment on how Sinclair never talks about his own problems until it's too late because he doesn't want to bother the others as they probably have it worse (again, unlike Stephan "i don't mind loweing team morale and making everyone in the room uncomfortable as long as i get to vent" Full Stop office).

3.- Adressing common arguments

Alright, now that I talked about each character, let's see some of the most common arguments I've seen people use to compare them.

"They look the same!" No, they don't. The only thing they have in common is being blonde but even their hairstyles are different with Sinclair having a simple bowl-ish cut with slightly wavy hair and Stephan having curlier hair (not to mention the whole point I made about body types because I'm the sort of lunatic who cares about that stuff). I won't even bother with this argument.

"They have the same personalities!" Again, they don't. Stephan is very cynical with a lot of his attitude being clearly derivated from him coming from a poor background and having stayed there his whole life, he also doesn't care about his cynism getting in the way and bothering everyone else. On the other hand, Sinclair is someone who could almost be described as naive due to having lived a sheltered childhood and only having his experiences with Kromer and his time at Limbus as moments of realizing that the rest of the world is Not Like His Childhood House, still believing that the world is a binary of good vs evil and expecting things to turn out fine or be much better than they actually are, just to be hit with the reality of the city Not being a nice place where people are nice and polite and not trying to kill him, this is not to say he doesn't have his own issues but even Dante notices during his Canto that Sinclair makes a point to avoid bothering everyone else with his personal problems, keeping them to himself even if that makes things worse on the long run.

"Both are opposed and harmed by a lunatic!" This is an argument I've seen a lot and is incredibly filmsy at best, half of the city's population are lunatics and the other half are people who got opposed by them some way or another. Will you say that Ishmael and the rest of the Pequod crew can be compared to the Full Stop office (or really, even mention the other Full Stop fixers instead of just focusing on Stephan because he happens to be blonde and can be compared to Sinclair) because of their situations with Ahab? Or the W Corp crew who got their train targetted by Jae-heon and Elena (or, you know, the train passengers who were turned into Love townspeople or puppets)? What about the Vermillion Cross who got killed by the Reverb Ensemble? Or the Cane office fixers? or the Zwei association section 6 who got beaten to death by Gyeong-mi just because he felt like doing so? Or the Liu association section 1 who had to deal with Argalia taking Philip away? Or the Kurokumo clan members when they were attacked by Tanya? You aren't comparing them to either Stephan or Sinclair, right? Not to mention that in her weird and fucked up perception of things, Kromer was less opposed to Sinclair as she was trying to lead him to join her and her cause, even the last things she says before getting killed are her calling him to follow her.

"Both are compared to birds!" Oh, right, because I forgot that a very directed symbolic comparison to a baby bird breaking out of it's shell as a symbol of rebirth, learning about the nuances of the world and self improvement/liberation that is consistently used in the source material Sinclair comes from is exactly the same as one (1) throwaway line the big bad guy uses to mock not only Stephan but the whole Full Stop gang, right. And if you want to say "but Tamaki compares him to a bird once too", yeah she calls him a parrot because he keeps repeating the same complaints over and over, it's still not the same as a consistent metaphor.

"Both are sad blonde twinks! They're essentially the same guy." Sad? Yeah, everyone in the city is sad but their ways to be sad are polar opposites, and neither of them is the pure cinnamon roll uwu crybaby archetype people tend to lump both into, Stephan was merely having a bad day and people decided to make that his whole personality (when honestly we get more insight on his actual personality before Argalia shows up, when he's making sarcastic remarks and getting impatient because they weren't starting killing people fast enough) but he's still perfectly capable (and willing) to murder people, and Sinclair is just... someone who lacks experience about the real world and how it works and has a tendency to get nervous because of this, but he can adapt quickly to situations once he understands them. Blonde? Yeah, but I guess if that's a point to draw a comparison then we should also compare them to Don Quixote, the Tiphereths, Lenny, Yun, Lulu, Olga, every single npc, librarian, and agent who comes with blonde hair from the generator... Twinks? Stephan absolutely isn't one, Sinclair depends on how you define twink as nobody seems to get to an agreement with that, if you define it as merely "young looking thin man with almost no visible body hair" then yeah he is one, but if you go for any more specific definition than that he stops fitting into the definition almost instantly.

In conclusion: if I see anyone else comparing them I'll start blocking people liberally bc I'm sick of seeing that shit (I do that already tbh but just so you know), now scram

[the-demon-prodigy]

oba yozo and warped perception

ok heres an absolutely giant analysis (its 2k words ermm) that i wrote in an essay format! i cant rlly say im proud of its strength as an essay but i do like the concepts i brought up here so i might eventually redo but it took me literally a week so i cant not post it

yozo is my little guy i want to put him under a microscope and study him like a bug/aff

its under the cut :]

TW: su1cide, s3xual a$sault, misogyny (all mentioned, not depicted)

Osamu Dazai’s No Longer Human, a Japanese literary classic, is told through the writings of the protagonist, Oba Yozo. Yozo is a deeply traumatized and alienated human being, and his perception of both himself and others is distorted by his traumatic experiences.

Yozo makes the judgement very early on in his life that he lacks what constitutes humanity. He separates himself from humans because of this, but unable to renounce their society as he is, he instead opts to display a public facade of light-heartedness and, on occasion, foolishness. Yozo feared that which he did not understand, and he therefore feared people, finding them and their society riddled with unspoken societal guidelines, utterly incomprehensible. (It’s likely that Yozo only feared the unknown so much and only came to this conclusion due to his intelligence, which he is mentioned to have, at least academically. Generally, it would be extremely unlikely that Yozo is an unintelligent character, seeing as how often he pokes and prods at the philosophical and existential.)

Yozo finds himself inhuman, due to how he fails to understand that which humans seem to be born into this world understanding. Additionally, he lacks something in his nature that he believes to be absolutely inherent to humans: a deep, animalistic anger. Yozo never describes being angry throughout the book; he only fears, and fears, and fears some more, until he fears every last thing in this world. It’s likely that this immense fear came only as a result of the life he led. Even in his teenage and adult years, he gauges himself to not be seen as a friend or even a person to some of the people he knew, thus determining that he had never made a friend. And, having been sexually assaulted at a very young age, it’s only natural that Yozo would believe human beings to be cruel and animalistic by nature, hence justifying his fear. 

The childhood trauma that Yozo suffered also caused further complications in his life, outside of the obvious feelings of needing to please in order to be ‘safe’. Yozo seems to have difficulty processing/facing outright his emotions and traumatic events, his flowery style of writing carefully dancing around describing exactly what happened to him. I doubt that Yozo has truly suppressed the memories of his childhood, but he at least doesn’t process them correctly. Yozo also does this in regards to things that remind him of his trauma or, in other words, trigger him.

It’s important to note that the presentation of No Longer Human is inherently biased. There is not a single scene told from objective reality, even in the prologue and epilogue which aren’t told in Yozo’s perspective. While the unreliable narration is pivotal to exploring the recesses of the human mind, it’s impossible to grasp exactly what actually happened at any given point. Had Yozo outright lied about certain things? Were there times when he had forgotten important memories that eventually constituted his personality? Yozo himself even admits to having a side of him that exaggerates for effect, not even to his benefit, and it leads a reader to wonder just how much was affected by that trait of his. 

In the epilogue, one of Yozo’s acquaintances says that the way that his life turned out was due to his father: “it’s his father’s fault.” However, Yozo barely talked about his father in the book, save for mentioning his fear of being reprimanded, which was par for the course for anyone that Yozo spoke to. Although his father did affect the way that Yozo lived, with the information that Yozo gave, it would be impossible to say accurately that it was his father’s fault. 

Although it’s tempting to instead say that Yozo’s unfortunate circumstances only worsened because of him, it’s important to note that Yozo demonizes himself endlessly. Yozo feared humans to the point of decreeing all on his own that he was disqualified from their race, but he still sought out love from human beings. He still wished for connection, but because of Yozo’s deep-seated self-hatred which came only as a result of seeing the most distasteful parts of humanity as a young child and feeling alienated from that, Yozo ended up separating himself. However, Yozo states over and over again that he fakes things, that he has a facade, that he only plays the clown and is not one, but it’s impossible to tell whether Yozo was truly the faker he thought that he was or if that was truly his personality and he simply didn’t know it. 

No Longer Human also has misogynistic themes, at times. While Yozo states that this is because he finds women to be boring, it’s possible that he is, once again, being unreliable, and the true reason that he has an aversion to women is because he experienced sexual assault at the hands of women from a young age and, many times throughout his life, he has experienced love with women that failed to come to proper fruition, hence causing his aversion to women and becoming attached to them.

Yozo spends the majority of the book fairly lost, not understanding humans, not understanding himself. So who is to say that Yozo was truly a liar, or that he simply thought that he was? It’s possible that Yozo only internalized the concept that he was a calculating, deceptive young man in order to make the thought that humans would never love him easier to swallow. 

Yozo being the intelligent and alienated sort of person that he is, he comes across as slightly conceited at times, seeing as he’s rather opinionated, and internally refers to one of his acquaintances as an utter fool completely lacking in artistry, for example. With this acquaintance, he plays two word games, and his opinions can tell us quite a bit about him. The first game is about tragic versus comic nouns. Yozo believes that, just as pronouns can be divided between masculine, feminine, and neutral, nouns can be divided between tragic and comic. It’s primarily a game of connotation (for example: steamship and steam engine are tragic, while bus and streetcar and comic). 

Of the highlights of this game is that Yozo’s first opinion is that death is comic, while life is tragic. This is a reflection of his unique view on death, specifically him seeing it as a sort of cathartic relief, in comparison to life. Yozo views his own life, particularly, as shameful, making it tragic.

The second game is about antonyms. Yozo’s first example is that black is the antonym of white, but the antonym of white is red, and the antonym of red is black. In order to get a different result each time, you will need to repeatedly switch your perspective. Black and white are visually in opposition. Red is only the antonym of white figuratively, however. White is surrender while red is offense, white is purity while red is tainted. Black is the antonym of red in that red is fierce and passionate, while black is empty and void.

These also reflect Yozo’s personality. He is visually the opposite to humans, seen in how an outsider views his photos in the prologue. He is tainted, or corrupted, because of the crime that was perpetrated upon him as a child. Yozo also experiences his emotions in a complex way, sometimes void, like ‘black’, but at other times too heavily, like ‘red’. 

(And you, dear reader, may ask, “Aren’t you focusing too much on Yozo’s sexual trauma?” and I’d respond, “No Longer Human is an inherently subjective work due to the lack of representation of an objective reality. Yozo may ignore his sexual trauma more often than not, but I don’t have to, as that kind of experience is part of what created the ‘Oba Yozo’ that we come to see in the novel, regardless of how often it is directly addressed.”)

It’s also important to note that this example that Yozo provides is a one-way street. Black to white, then white to red, then red to black. Red is not the antonym of white, despite the fact that white is the antonym of red, because the antonym of white is black. This disjointed yet ultimately related style of thinking is reminiscent of the way that Yozo fails to properly reconcile all the concepts that he contemplates daily and how he fails to process things that were traumatic.

A highlight of the little antonym game that Yozo and his acquaintance played was when Yozo’s acquaintance mentioned that the antonym of crime was sure to be ‘the law’. Yozo internally scoffs at the concept, and states that crime belonged to a different category. Through the following paragraphs, it becomes apparent that Yozo sees crime as being a moral concept at heart. Whether or not something is a crime is not dictated by whether it defies the law or not, but by an intrinsic judgement system that exists within the heart of all people. He also states that vice is different from crime. Vice is a societal construct in Yozo’s eyes, whilst crime is not. Crime always exists and will continue to, even if there are no people in existence to observe it. Crime may even be above morality in a sense; there exists things that are crimes even to the earth itself. To Yozo, at least. 

To Yozo, punishment is the antonym of crime. Through a reflection of Dostoevsky's work, Yozo came to the conclusion that crime would only be paired with punishment if they were meant to be of completely opposite affiliation.  The reason his brain works in this way is because of the unique life that Yozo has led. Because the most horrific of crimes that were perpetrated upon him were met with no punishment, it’s only natural that he would see the two as inherently disconnected concepts.

Yozo also loses plenty of people important to him; Tsuneko and his father, to name two. Although the grief that Yozo experiences is very rarely directly addressed by him, it’s crucial to take into account the effect of these events on Yozo. He spends the latter parts of the book impacted by grief, and it shapes the ‘Yozo’ that we see. There is no objective reality in No Longer Human, there is only the clouded lens that Yozo views it through, and this concept permeates the entire story, which means that if, perhaps, Yozo hadn’t lost the people that he did, the second half of the story would be different. The entire book would be different if told from the perspective of someone else; this is where the truly genius subtext of the novel lies, in the fact that almost everything that the viewer ends up consuming about the story is Yozo’s own thoughts, inseparable from the experience of reading the novel.

“He was a good boy, an angel,” is the final line of No Longer Human, said about Yozo by one of the people who knew him. The unlovable, monstrous, deceptive Yozo that he claimed himself to be for his entire life was perceived as an angel by those around him. Yozo accentuated the many ways he had been taken advantage of, the things he had to keep secret, and yet someone who barely knew him was fond of him in a way he would never process as true had he been present for that moment. One might even say that there were a number of people in this world who loved Yozo.

By existing in a world that he determined could only ever be lonely, Yozo’s perception of humans was warped by the multitude of ways that he had been broken by others, and his perception of himself was warped by his personal opposition to the definition of ‘human’ that he had crafted. This is the core of what makes No Longer Human tragic: the fact that Yozo was seeing an emptier world than all others, and he had given up on his life before it began. That Yozo will never see the world that he lived in for what it truly was.

[meowsticmarvels]

ok wait dumping this in a tumblr post buuuuut reasons why i think phis autistic as Fuck!!! not structured and a lot of these could be considered a stretch but i just. Think it is a bit real personally . if anyone else cares. some spoilers ahead i think i dont remember where im tired right now but i wouldnt suggest looking at this if you havent finished the game. yeah. :3

- she speaks with a very monotone and flat voice throughout both games she's in (though it's more evident how flat it is in VLR's voice acting). of course she can be emotional at times but like.. in comparison to the other characters shes very inexpressive. multiple of her sprites in VLR are just variations of the :| face . looking at VLR's other sprites which are much more expressive its more her just being like that it seems. i dont think i have to explain why im putting this here she is SO deadpan with her delivery

- speaking of the above when sigma gets stabbed by mira diana's crying while phi has barely a reaction apart from "it might even affect me more than you". It's not that she doesn't FEEL these emotions strongly its just more that she's bad at expressing them. she has a few moments where she's particularly angry (see: her yelling at delta for example, or pushing kyle away) or upset (see the shoot: live end of fire where she breaks down in front of diana, or luna end when sigma abandons her) and it just all falls apart and Breaks yknow. but this is not the norm for her

- she's.. Very blunt . i don't have to explain this. even during vlr itself iirc this makes a couple people go Ummm what the fuck okay

- eric comments rhat she has a really weird stare that unnerves him a bit. this might just be an eric thing or about her doll but listen to me.;

- her ZTD doll is the only one with no mouth whatsoever which could be an allusion to her inability to express her emotions (maybe) (could be a stretch but there are a LOT of interpretations here i can pull my list from twt if anyone wants me to elaborate)

- theres a few moments i can remember (like once or twice) where she makes a super dry joke and people take her completely seriously. it happens at least once in vlr i can confirm though

- the whole thing with her reaction to the luminol reads as a sensory issues thing but i might be crazy on this one

- infodumps. so much. there's multiple moments she tries to but gets cut off before she can but it happens. A lot. especially about anything related to psychology or physics (includes stuff like quantum mechanics, annihilation energy, the prisoner's dilemma, schrodinger's cat alien hand syndrome, etc. she also almost infodumps about missiles once)

- there's some aini short where mizuki's playing vlr. one of the things she says to aiba is like "hey phi's kind of like you aiba! neither of you can read the room!" Mizuki do you know what you are saying. Hey

- a couple additional lines from safe mode dialogue: phi saying she won't do a puzzle because she'll "get her hands dirty" (though it could just be a joke), and another time where sigma says "so there IS a sense of humor behind that mask."

[singing-melliot-headcanons]

muyawoooooo :3 meeowwww riauuuu :33

does anyone like taopp warriors ? :p genq !!! dont wanna spam hehehe -w-

but!!!

rowan and maya relationship!!!!!! everyone wants to hear warrior cats ! astor siblings relationship righr (crickets)

sooooo - rowan isnt SUPPERRRR angsty and angry when maya is born. maya is a lot lighter tabby. shes also noticeably smaller than rowan (but he’s a pretty BIGGGG guy :p) instead of being vry dark and almost a black cat like rowan - shes more brownish gray where rowan is black and brown. she has white paws and tail tip !! but the same bright amber eyes as rowan !

btw forgot to say this. rowan has a snaggletooth. :p

rowan didnr want to be involved with mayas life at ALL until OH MY GOD ROWAN IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE YOUNGER SIBLING its okay rhis is an au it works better like this. anywayz :p he doesnt get involved until maya goes up to him like “HAIII :3 UR A RLLY BIG CAT WANNA PLAY :DD ??” and it makes him do a double take like wat ?!! she’s nice,,, and realizes shes pretty cool and starts to regularly play w her !! and yhats how they get their sibling relationship :p (bonus points king astor does NOT want rowan talking to maya but cant do anything about it)

due to their close relationship rowan actually is assigned maya as his apprentice! much to the DISMAY of king astor >:( he cant do nuthin about it tho sooo :pp but this makes them closer and during this time is when rowan tells maya they’re actually half siblings :3 !

when rowan tells maya abt his mom she doesnt rlly believe him… she thinks highly of her dad!!!! she questions him and he frames it as if it was necessary yk :/ “rogue invading territory bad!!! she wouldnt leave and clan comes first >:((“

^^ this creates a strain on their relationship !!

fast forward >> to uhmmmm rowans first murder attempt and maya is vry hurt abt it - and rowan seems… glad hes exiled??? like he doesnt care hes leaving her or any of his friends!!! and the rest of the clan HATES him. plus befriending maddox and falling in love w them she realizes how much driving maddox out of clan territory has affected their life . it makes her start to dislike him more and more. but she does miss him a good amount :<

when he joins another clan shes a little baffled - he joined another clan and is acting SOO arrogant and WHO is this guy?! >:( he joined the clans again and doesn’t really even glance at her at gatherings !!! much less ask about maddox who he made everyone DRIVE OUT !! the first time they actually get to talk is when louis arranges it - and it’s about talking about taking down the king… maya doesn’t really recognize this rowan who’s so obsessed w killing the king!!!!

WOWOOWWWWW im sayin a lot!!! let me say rowans side and ill wrap this ramble off hehe -w-

rowan on the other hand was spiteful when maya took their fathers words over his when he talked about his mom to her >:/ she seems to listen to king astor more and more each day and he HATESSS it. by the time shes a warrior their relationship is a lot more strained bc of him… her dating jason? his dads doing !! she does a LOT bc of her dad and rowan starts seeing her as some1 jst following his every word again. he doesn’t seem to think of her when planning to kill his dad

when he comes back to the clans he sees that she hasnt rlly changed :/ so he doesn’t bother w her. he doesn’t feel that attached to maya anymore , why should he care if she dies?? he seems shockingly fine w killing her as a precaution - he barely recognizes maya either, shes lying too much to listen to their father (he starts to more when she tells him she loves maddox instead of jason and is willing to fake her death to be with them…)

dont worry anon I love taopp warriors

[melosberry]

i’m ranting 👎

summer last year my ig old best friend asked me to be the maid of honour to her wedding, it’s something we always spoke about for years and always shared that we’d be each others. i don’t even care for marriage but i always knew if i did get married it would be her and when she got engaged last summer she asked me to be her maid of honour and it was something that was genuinely exciting and made me happy and it’s something we bonded over for the longest time but as time went on toward the end of the year and start of this year she just kinda started speaking to me less and even when i spoke to her she barely really ever responded so i just kinda gave up and eventually messaged her a few months ago asking about the wedding and if i was still her maid of honour and she told i wasn’t because her and her soon to be husband said they only wanted people they cared about and loved to be apart of the bridal party and she didn’t seem to even care that it upset me? or at least she knew and didn’t care to ask if i was okay and we just. didn’t speak after that and it really sent me spiralling for around a month and with the year i’ve already had it just kinda pushed me back into a state i didn’t wanna be in. we hadn’t spoke since then and she messaged me today asking if i was definitely going to the wedding and it just kinda left me ??? like she genuinely thought i was still going after what she said to me and when i told her im not she just never responded and it made me sad about it all over again lol like how can you be in someone’s life for so long and have them just discard you the moment they have other people

i hate the fact that i’m so hurt about it all over again and i really wish i could just, not let it affect me but it does it really fucking does and it makes me wonder just how easily replaceable i can be to people. i hate feeling so .. almost sorry for myself? but at the same time i don’t even know how to feel. crying doesn’t feel right and i don’t wanna be angry but it hurts and i don’t want to end up falling back into a depressive episode right after barely getting out of one it’s just fucked it feels so fucked