#ppl say they like my art and im like ITS SO BAD.
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i put a CUT HERE thanks tumblr
thinking abt how much it sucks to be disabled and care about the world and its people. i want to do THINGS. I want to help people. "but this is low effort" if youre abled, yeah. "but this is easy! just do thing!" if you don't have seizures and brain damage, yeah. It's just frustrating. Feeling very constantly stressed abt the state of the world rn and ik its self-harmy to be like... constantly looking at stuff i cant do much abt, but i also dont want to put neg stuff on my dash bc if i panic any harder ill be seizing more often... honestly i just really wish my combination of issues wasn't so prevalent as to leave me beyond bedridden half the time. I think about how many artists have had MUCH more time to practice or work. "but you dont work" no, i do. I have to be my own advocate, see doctors, take care of my body, take my meds right, get scans, it never ends. It's so tiring. Being disabled is a different kind of job and i wish more people would acknowledge that. I get a SMALL govt stipend but most of it goes to my bills or food. I live okay enough ofc, but like... I dunno, i feel i'd be less fucked up if i could go for walks but (laughs in american infrastructure being wheelchair unfriendly).
#neg;#hrgh#disability shit;#this post doesnt have a point rly#venting;#i just... wish i could do more.#and i can't.#and people always say “then its not for y ou”#but that doesnt stop those kinds of posts from affecting us#and ive been holding this in for what feels like forever#i want to make vent art but i hurt SO bad lately i just. i can barely draw well. im trying to force it#frustrated. angry even#the impostor syndrome doesnt help tbh#ppl say they like my art and im like ITS SO BAD.#I CAN DO BETTER#and i could if i was well probably#if i was well i could do a lot more#i just want to write and draw but both are so hard.#this isnt me vagueing at anyone btw im just frustrated#being sick like this makes me feel so gd useless
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
so much chaeya on the tl, felt the urge to design fem!chaeya
#chaeya#genshin impact#genshin impact fanart#kaeya alberich#tartaglia#artists on tumblr#digital art#fan art#my art#i think genderbends are interesting on a narrative level#like how would a character present in their world if they were a different sex#fem kaeya post april 30th would present more masc as opposed to canon kaeya who lets admit it is very fem in his dressage#so i think fem kaeya would go the opposite way#it would be a complete piviot to what kaeya ragnvindr wouldve been#a shy girl in a noble family traditionally and socially would be expected to BE feminine#but as a calvry captain removed from the ragnvindr name would not#its a different type of peacocking i guess#fem childe honestly wouldnt be so different imo#since childe is a much more candid person#’im sort of a bad guy’ over here doesnt really have much to lie about with appearances (childe just avoids what he doesnt want to say)#but i think fem childe would have different relationships than canon childe#esp with her family#she would be seen as more of an anamoly to them#sweet little ajax is now a scary bloodthirsty woman#also shes not opposed to being in more fem clothing (tbh i was considering putting her in a skirt —#mainly bc childe would not care if she flashed ppl during battle LMFAO)#she probably has alt outfit that she would try n wear around family? to appease them and keep up appearances with teucer#also asymmetrical hair bc one side got chopped during a fight#never noticed how childes model has that side of his face covered with hair … and thats the side of beta childes eyepatch..#things to think about ig
153 notes
·
View notes
Text
i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
96 notes
·
View notes
Text
#i will think on it but for now im drafting up comms and going to bed i rly did just get my ass beat there at the end like ohhh#now i remember why i dont spend longer than 1 hour on anything. this sucks so bad#talkys#maybe i can post it but lock reblogs? wagh but i like when ppl leave tags...but wah so embarrassing what wld ppl even say#if im being 100% honest with you being posted onto kiwifarms at a young age really impacted how I perceive the imaginary audience.#and make art actually#if i reblog lock or not somebody is going to take it and make fun of it even though i already know its bad.
54 notes
·
View notes
Text
no1s mad i drew more konbart right?
last drawing is nirvana au // also i gave up on the 1st drawing mayb? i might return 2 it
#i realized im starting 2 feel insecure bc ppl my age r drawing muchMUCH better than me so i tried 2 do things i dont usual do kinda idk#trying 2 prove im not *that* bad @ art lol#which means i tried 2 draw kissing y tf did i try this I DONT I#USE TONE INDICATORS U BITCH!#nirvana au#nirvana!kon#kart#konbart#my fujcing wifi freaked out on me & i drew all of these#so thats fun!!#also i worked on my sketchbook bc NOTHING WAS WORKING sts yestefay was so boring :(#my sketchbook is exploding its more junk then sketch#my junk book#puppee art#i love nirvana!kon oh how k love them so theyre so pretty ((imo))#i drew like 3 sidelrofiles im dying#ALSO IGNORE HOW LAZY I AM DRAWING SUPEEHERO SUITS LOL#IDRC…IDK…I DIDNT WANNA DRAW THE FLARES OR THE PATCHES PLSSSSS#ive drawn sm kon in the last like week?#bc of etsy its honestly great i have like a lil collection of those ty cards i make#uhm#i need 2 stop rambling gn#y am i saying gn???
130 notes
·
View notes
Text
combining 2 old drawings to create a new better drawing. they r so cute
(old)
#its funny bc sometimes im like “yea i have a pretty consistent artstyle. i dont think its changed much”#and like#thats true#but whenever i look at my old art im like WOW what the FUCK IS THAT#every time ppl reblog my old art i contemplate death#i shouldnt have used up my good ideas so early on. i shouldve waited until i was at least a little better#Oh well#god knows ill be saying this about my current art too in a years time#nat rambles#would be so fucking funny if i redrew some of my old m!ntmg art but womanified it#i wont do that bc id feel bad for the men likers out there but its funny to think about
80 notes
·
View notes
Text
Putting my iono and grusha here as well. They’re friends for streaming reasons
#Imagine getting a good atar score and it not mattering bc none of the courses you applied for need atar#Unrelated i got my atar today :) it was v good heheheheh#For non aussie ppl atars p much a mark for how you did overall in your y12 classes its important for most unis#But it can also not matter at all bc theres other ways to go to uni! And plenty of jobs that dont need uni! Idk!#I saw people saying grusha and iono are t4t. Ofc they are#Pokemon#Gym leader grusha#Gym leader iono#Oh my god i am yet to draw an actual pkmn and not just trainers god. I promise im a real pkmn fan#Oh yeah chongoblog replied to this art on twt i nearly had a heart attack#I woke up to like 12 new replies i and 40 follows i was like!!!!!! Aaaaaaa!!!!!!!#Todays been good so far. Only thing thatd make it better is if my dream uni got back to me….. they accepted my prerequisites i see you#Art tag#Only reason i posted this was to ramble abt atar. Farewell#oh my god i never replied to any of my replies on twt. im so bad at this. i cant think of things to say sjdbowwna augh
354 notes
·
View notes
Text
closing ko-fi requests ):
I'm honestly so sad abt doing this after all these years but I've gotta close ko-fi requests 😔 I really can't justify the time I spend on them against the amount I earn on them ): it's been fine before but as I'm goin into my last year of uni I need to get a better balance between uni work and art-money work. on this, commissions are getting an overhaul in the coming weeks bc I know I'm super undercharging lmao which I can't keep up, bc again, I've gotta try not to fail my degree while also making sure art is a viable side hustle loll.
I may open kofi reqs again when I've got more time (or failing that make them a part of kofi memberships at some point)!!! but for now rip kofi reqs ): (my kofi will obvs stay open for support and -- if you want smthn back for ur support -- kofi membership early access!!)
HOWEVER in better news with my commissions overhaul I'm gonna be opening a new, cheaper type of commission so hopefully that'll be a nice balance for everyone!
got one last request to finish and it's a big'un so should be a nice sendoff to kofi requests!! hopefully done by tomorrow
#im so sorry i love kofi reqs but yeah they just take a lot of my time and its different to my just-personal art#bc i prioritise them like commissions even tho they Aren't#and i'm starting to prep for goin back to uni and i've got a lot on my plate#also i'll be completely honest the kofi req system has changed a lot from when I started it as a 'hey little bonus if u support my art'#and yeah i'll say a few ppl have ignored my friendly guidelines and abused it a lil#BUT THATS NOT WHY IM CLOSING OK not letting a few bad apples ruin this its ENTIRELY bc of the time/money thing#ily guys thank u all sm for ur support w requests n stuff!!!! sorry again#talk is cheap
69 notes
·
View notes
Text
i find it funny that so many adults talk about how bad the internet is for teens but like ive made so many more friends because of the internet and like the internet made me so much more confident in my art and myself
like of course theres bad ppl on the internet. theres bad ppl irl. bad ppl exist. its crazy i know.
the only age group that shouldnt be on the internet is little kids. like 8-7-etc years old.
#ofc im not saying the internet is the best thing ever but#its one of the best things to happen to me personally#did i have alot of bad stuff happen on the internet? yeah!#but ive had alot of good stuff happen too!#ive met SO many cool ppl who are now my friends through things im interested in#through posting art of said things#interacting with ppl in my communities#when i had only one friend irl who i havent met in like a few years.#tldr: the internet is cool sometimes :)#oswalds rambles
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
There is gonna be more than that coming from the poll, but whatever it is vote Kacchan/Deku for best hero. Idc who wins i just need them to be together again
if they just announced it today without saying anything before, I would probably immediately do it.
Right now im just bitter because of the hype -I thought it would at least slightly relate to the actual story (adaptations of other stories, extra content for the volume which once again may I remind everyone is extremely short, almost half what a manga volume usually looks which is a huge problem).
This disappointed me extremely, as its not even related to any content from the manga beyond the characters it uses. I get that many ppl will work on this, and that artist will get excited over being able to get the spotlight, some will be able to ask specific questions, and a character will get a statue and a movie.
Still extremely disappointed because of the "special project will be announced on the 5th *wink wink*".
I can't feel excitement over it as, in my mind, I lost something that felt better -more content related to the story. So at best this would be "oh cool I can try it", a feeling pretty similar to the other announcements -not my favorite thing in the world, but I wont reject it and try to see what comes out of it.
This isnt at best to me right now
#grrr talking#grrr being a hater#literally one of the special things was already announced -the fan book#bc im feeling negative I will say negative stuff here so beware#as far as I saw the fan book is a way of getting another product without paying artists#and days before we already knew it would happen#the statue thing feels like the art exhibition like okay thats cool still doesnt compare to more stories like at all#and I will never see any of that in person ever so why would I get extra happy about that?#I know this is an homage so we can feel like we are closer to their world and all but the statues have a bad connotation there#vote so we can see the protagonist and the deuteragonist in a movie#im sorry why do we need to massively vote so they get content? they are literally the most important characters#and what would even be the movie about? For all I know they could do whatever they wanted with the characters#a movie based on who the most popular character is... great. unless passionate ppl are involved in the project it doesnt sound like a good#a good story could come out of it#as its based on who is most popular among voters not an actual story the characters need#so unless 278 characters already have backstories and stuff planned that would get explored in a movie#i dont trust what they could do with this#and I dont want to give them my hope. They didnt need to make an announcement for the announcement#that only has made me feel super bitter#will I get over it later in the day? probably#I still want to express myself#the only thing in my mind about using this opportunity is still bitter lmao#just asking why didnt you make them hold hands#because I can try to justify it with my own theories#but that doesnt mean anything now does it
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
,
#monolawg#was trying to make myself feel better recently by thinking about how#there's a very popular furry artist ive had several mutuals rave over#whose art i think is straight up Sexless. too smooth and boringly attractive#so its fine if i think my art is sexless bc others seem to like it#but its not workinggg....i hate it so much idk how ppl find anything i draw hot#its an anatomical drawing. like in a medical textbook. sexless in the other direction#feeling bad w comms rn.#also while im here im struggling bc i once saw advice that said not to focus on things you DONT LIKE wrt art#bc thats too negative. so instead of saying ''i dont want my art to look like x'' you say ''i want my art to look like y''#and idk. nothing inspires me so intensely bc im not creative#so im just hung up on how i dont want it to look. with no solution or escape. just self hatred. alas...#i dont want it to look like this...#AND FINALLY#my theory as to why i hate my furry art is#ppl put out epic human art that inspires me daily#and i take and steal and frankenstein it into my own#but 95% of furries copy that one same style and theres less inspiration#so im going off of Nothing im jst going off Myself which i Hate.
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Take some Fydd's I just realized I never posted
#keese draws#oc art#oc#ocs#eternal gales#fydd is such a comfort character to me rn its not even funny I adore this lil lad#hes been helping keep me sane#Ive also been keeping sane by brainstoriming more abt how I wanna make eternal gales someday which is also helping#and lemme say its getting real ambitious folks this bad boy isnt getting made for a While lol#the more Ive been thinking abt eternal gales and how I want it to be formatted the more certain I become that while its not going to be a#game Im probably going to be making it within a game maker engine#like Ill still look into how feasible making it all into a website would be but I think for what I want to make this would work best#which is! very ambitious and is definitely not smth I can manage rn! but I have been wanting to re learn to code anyways so!#its mostly just a matter of like. doing some smaller projects first and getting my shit together#ideally I want to be able to be in a place to get started in about 5 years maybe? idk that feels reasonable to me#but Im fine if it takes longer as long as Ive gotten at least some actual real project started and worked on#Ive been playing around with the idea of maybe trying my hand at making a small game for fun#not right this second but maybe soon? idk depends on a bunch of shit#honestly eternal gales has dragged me through so much whenever I feel hopeless I just have to remember that I Need to make it some day and#imagine ppl asking me questions abt it and analyzing my writing and I go ok so I must persist no matter what I need ppl to read abt them
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
i wanna post my skip to loafer art but i cant do it knowing ppl are gonna put it on tiktok and pinterest bc itd be like. bringing an invasive species ykwim
#my meds just kicked in so im feeling talkative but truly idk how to explain it#its like. with anything else id be more than happy to introduce it to ppl like monkie kid and mp100. witch hat maybe but its personal to me#but skip to loafer is special to me. and i feel bad for saying this bc other ppl do deserve to watch smth they will enjoy#hell the reason i got into it was bc my friend was kind enough to lend me her copy and i got hooked#its so ironic im saying this esp given how insecure i am abt depicting characters wrong. but i really dont want to look thru the tags#and see them on a 'can i copy your homework' tier list. or ppl getting mad abt why egashira mitsumi and shima cant just be a throuple#its just!! i wont stop you if thats how you like to engage with the show or how you interpret it bc ill just ignore it and leave u alone!!#and theres no objective wrong way of doing it!! and i know that interacting with the work is what forms a community after all!!#but keeping it tight knit is just easier for me bc nobody has to worry abt making each other laugh and we can enjoy it for what it is#fully aware im saying this as someone whos drawn monkie kid art with text post memes and owl house draw the squad templates#but at the same time i just. dont want to explain myself or give ppl reasons why shima and mitsumi are ace coded just bc it 'feels right'#fandom is a communal thing and it feels so hypocritical thinking this. too many conflictng thoughts that idk what to act on#yapping
43 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello this is from an old post of yours (I was scrolling through the Fields of Mistria tag and got pretty far back I guess lol) but you mentioned most farming games that have come out are ugly and only like two are good. I assume one of the good ones is Stardew but what is the other? Which ones are ugly?
"ugly" was exaggerated for the frustrated tone of post, in reality many just arent to my taste, art direction wise... being 3D already strikes many of them out as I dont want games that will blow up my laptop but even then im not a huge fan of the styles of many of em even if i did enjoy the 3D ones (example being my time at port/ia.... i wld put this in the aforementioned category. i don't like looking at it)
i just know that 90% of the time someone recommends a farming game to me its either 3D graphics and/or "ugly" (to me)
(and its usually both bc i often will play games that blow up my laptop if i like them enough, like DQB2! i havent liked the style of any actual 3d farming game enough yet though)
also going really far back into the tag is so real i keep stopping myself from doing that too im so excited for da game ^_^
#skunk mail#Anonymous#saying this one in secret now but ppl always rec cor/al island....i dont like the art.... not the 2d OR 3d....and then combined is so#mismatched lol...maybe if the graphics werent 3d the 2d ones wld fit better#di/nkum isnt that ugly i guess but its 3D#oob/lets isnt too bad but its 3d#i cant think of others off the top of my head#i know if ppl send me recs after this ask im going to have to Not Respond so i dont grit my teeth and go#ohhh no i dont think that ones ugly lol i just didnt like it ! or something LMAO#im replaying littlewood rn...its simplistic enough to pull me in...the art style is generic enough to make me want to date the villagers#forager was nice too even though its not farming farming#i think thats why i prefer 2D/pixel...its a lot easier to make very simplistic ''universal'' designs#as well as making it easier to envision decorating if available#and yet....
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
this is basically my kyle playlist
california girls is rlly carrying the angst so sad((she eants me(2 b loved) is not the sadest song ots just the 1st))
#most if the songs r about alex ngl i love her sm#goodmirbing!! my headaches gone yiipppee!!!!#tgus doodles from yesterday tho lol#i was gonna post it on my kyle doodle acc but like?? not anymore#i drew him kinda leaky srry man#actually no not srry CRY MORE#this guy needs therapy idc what u say#i mean most of them do byt like i will ralk about his silly lil issues hes got sm of those#i feel so bad 4 the ppl i talk 2 omfg#i just talk talk talk & never shut up & THEY DONT TELL ME 2 SHUT UP?? makes me frel bad like oh shit i just yapped @ u im so srry#not even talking about dc all the time#its worse when its dc omg#‘no i like hearing u talk’ like uhm DO U? i can make u regreat that here let me talk about kyle rayner#all the ppl irl having 2 deal w/me shuffling trough comics & me making them see smth on my phone 4 context#i swear i dont talk over ppl ot @ least i rlly try not 2#srry im like sleepy @ am remembering going over 2 1 of my parents friends house &i just talked talked talked#i was ddoung basically a horrible stand up routine#skjfkfkvkkgg#anyaysd kyleee omgg kyle raynerr??!!!#im so srry kyle nation#my kyle tag lmao#kyle rayner#<- is scared#2 put that#dc#puppee art#i think instead of talk talk talk i should say ramble ramble ramble
18 notes
·
View notes