#it makes me go 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

[sayangrafayel]

LADS react to you asking them to set you up with someone else

This was a fun request. I might slip some dynamic duo rivalry here.. hmm.. maybe this is the same universe as loft talk. This is pre relationship prank!

Sylus, Xavier, Rafayel, Zayne, Caleb.

Sylus (Rafayel)

"Hey, Sy. Can you set me up with one of your roommates?" "I don't have roommates." "? What do you mean. You have four roommates. I want the artist!" "No I absolutely do not. What artist?"

Would NEVER let you meet Rafayel, no matter what it takes. Rarely ever bring you back to the loft anymore.

Considered moving out of the loft and everything but stopped once you tell him it's a prank.

Xavier (Jeremiah)

"Xavie, is Jeremiah seeing anyone?" "I don't know a Jerry." "Jeremiah." "I don't know who that is either."

He gets SOOOO jealous (that's why we like him)

Why would you ask him to set you up with someone else. He's right there. He's perfect for you in every way. 🥺🥺🥺 - Xavier, probably

Rafayel (Sylus)

"Can you set me up with one of your friends?" "I don't have friends." "Yes you do! That Fruit guy breathtaking!" "You know what else is breathtaking? If I were to hold his head underwater." "Sorry?" "I said I am also breathtaking!"

He fish. Fish forgor stuff. Roommate? Who? Sylus? Thomas? Who???? What are you talking about?

Becomes extra mean to Sylus the next day and Sylus was so confused as to why is his bestfriend who is not his bestfriend seems to hate him more than usual!?

Zayne (Greyson)

"Dr. Zayne, can you set me up with Greyson?" "Why?" "Because.. I want to?" "His name is Doctor Greyson, and do you really want to..?" "Yes please! Set me up with Dr. Greyson!" "...." "Zayne?" "If that's what you want."

I don't think he's gonna try to stop you nor does he realize you're testing the waters to see how he feels about you, defeatedly gives Greyson your number, but Greyson was so confused because why would he hit up Zayne's girlfriend???

"She's your girl, Zayne." "She is not." "Yes she is, she's just testing to see how you'd react, dummy. Now go and actually ask her out."

Caleb (Gideon)

Before you start pranking him, you prayed for Gideon's safety.

"Caleb, can you set me up with-" "He's gay." "I haven't even said a name!" "Yeah, everybody around me is gay. I'm their ally." "Caleb!!!"

He'd frown and keep telling you why would you need anybody else when you can have HIM. He's the one who knows you the best! He knows how to make you smile! He's 100% your boyfriend material! 😤

[keferon]

This apocalyptic ponyo Jazz and Prowl have got me OBSESSED with Orcas like 🥺 and learning all about them now, which a lot of it for how they’re treated is really sad

I already knew quite a lot about orcas before. Because they’re my favourite animals hehe. But I was only watching and reading about wild orcas. I never really considered looking what was going on with the captive ones. Doing research for this au made me discover the whole new level of grief

You know I think this is the first time I don’t have to make anything up when it comes to angst. Usually I try to invent some new ways to make characters suffer but with this au?? I would never even think of something like that on my own. All I do is learn stories or real orcas and then make jp go through the same stuff.

[hrrtshape]

PLEASE talk about your gossip girl dr you mentioned and young coryooo🥺🥺🥺🥺

things that my boyfriend does in my better cr that....truly warms my heart ( aka emma yaps about coryo )

finished writing this up in maths class, and i just know my teacher thinks i’ve lost the plot….... why are you side-eyeing me? let me giggle in peace.

he carries (one of) my lip glosses in his pocket and acts like it’s the biggest inconvenience but pulls it out instantly when i ask.

sharing airpods in class like it’s a lifeline but he always gives me the one that’s fully charged while he suffers with the dying one.

taking pictures of me when i’m not looking and making them his lock screen. which. ugh. cutie.

he lets me draw on his arm with a pen during class and then complains when it doesn’t wash off before dinner with his parents.

matching hoodies but we pretend it’s not on purpose.

dumb little inside jokes that make absolutely no sense to anyone else. he texts me "frog incident" in the middle of a test and i have to physically leave the room because i’m laughing too hard.

he always ties my shoelaces for me if they come undone, even if it means getting on one knee in the middle of the hallway like a loser.

doodling on my notes in class and writing things like property of coriolanus snow just to get a reaction out of me. weirdo......cringe lowkey. no i love him.

him randomly biting my shoulder when he’s bored.

me (!!) biting his bicep when i'm bored.

he always waits for me outside my last class leaning against the wall like he’s in a music video.

wearing my scrunchie on his wrist because i “left it in his car” (he did NOT have to keep it on).

fell asleep on each other during long drive and woke up to find he’s holding my hand in his sleep.

we made dubai chocolate, and thank god i know my baking cause he curdled the only chocolate we had.

taking me to the gym (ew), but not for like any malicious reason, actually i was the one who suggested it because this man *exercises*!!!!! like ok miss productive at a gym at five am.

matching the maison margiela tabi shoes, it's such a small detail, but i absolutely adore it. he'd be wearing lace-ups and i'd be wearing ballet flats.

driving me to school every morning.

i just have to mention this one part cause it’s so GRAH but i was walking out of my apartment complex and he was leaning against one of the pillars smoking and i came outside and he like wrapped his arm around my shoulder and continued smoking with his free hand. like okay..........

picking me up from the airport at 1am a few days before new years because i got out of the holiday family meetups just a bit earlier to see him.

when i got drunk on soju during the lighting of the tree at rockefeller centre and he was trying to heat me up.

he pinches my cheek. and that’s so evil. like. what the fawk. cherubicusm is NOT A FUNNY THING.

if he’s tired or annoyed or just being an absolute menace, he hooks a finger through my belt loop and just tugs me where he wants me. like i’m a thing to be dragged around. (and maybe i like it a bit....)

late-night drive-thru runs where he insists on ordering for me even though i could do it myself, just so he can say “and a chocolate milkshake for my girl” like we’re in a 1950s movie.

he keeps a lipstick-stained napkin from a dinner date in his wallet and pretends it’s just in there by accident, but he refuses to throw it away.

when i do my makeup in his room, he sits on his bed and watches.

he always puts my hair behind my ear when it falls in my face. not even thinking about it. just automatic.

when i fell asleep on his shoulder during a flight, he stayed awake the whole time just so my head wouldn’t move.

he let me paint his nails, but only clear polish, and only if i promised not to tell anyone.

he never lets me carry my own suitcase. ever. even when i argue.

when we go to stupid parties, he always keeps an arm around my shoulder when we’re moving through crowds, just so we don’t get separated.

he untangles my necklace chain when it gets knotted. just takes it from my hands and fixes it like it’s nothing.

i didn't respond to his texts once and he sent me a picture of my own house like “i know you’re in there.”

this is the mooooost miniscule but ungodly detail that made me want to marry him, but, having soy milk in his fridge. mind you, he lives with his family (he's 18 and we're still in school) and i visit 7 times max per week (every day....). and. wow. ugh.

every time he borrows a pen, he returns it with the cap bitten.

when i was complaining about my hands being cold, he took them in his and blew warm air on them.

when i’m walking ahead of him, he loops a finger through my bag strap and tugs me back. like...... not so fast. like.... where do you think you’re going?

we hook our pinkies together when walking. monster.

he adjusts my necklace when it gets twisted, gently brushing his knuckles against my throat. no acknowledgment. no reaction. just fixes it and moves on. (like a freak.)

if we’re arguing and i cross my arms, he just reaches out and tugs my wrist free, uncrossing them with this calm, effortless little motion. LIKE??? HELLO??? I NEED THAT BACK, ACTUALLY???

[melanchoire]

G!p Yujin fucking reader while Wonyoung watches on the side, enjoying the show before joining the two of you and sitting on your face as Yujin continues

WHAT IF I PROPOSE mean girl wonyoung and loser yujin 👀

wonyoung wasn’t exactly a bully, actually, she was more of a typical pretty and popular girl who has fun talking about other people’s personal lives and spreading gossip. and like all this kind of person, she always had someone in her sights and victim of her mockery; the biggest losers of the university, yujin and her girlfriend

she doesn’t understand how you two don’t have a bad reputation. i mean, losers who are the star students of their classes are supposed to be seen as idiots, not the school’s sweetheart couple that everyone loves and finds adorable 😤

and she always has a comment to make when she sees you two together. wonyoung doesn’t care if it’t a simple comment as she passes by you two or if she even dares to stop next to you just for this, she loves this

"when will be the day you can have the balls to fuck your girlfriend, ahn? still being a virgin even with a girlfriend must hurt. sometimes you make me wonder if you two have even had your first kiss.”

and it’s really exhausting! she is always there. you’re having lunch with yujin in the cafeteria and she is looking in your direction. you’re walking hand in hand with yujin down the hall and she is just there. you’re alone with yujin in the classroom and she shows up there because coincidentally she just forgot something in the classroom.

then one day you don’t know how but wonyoung manages to go to your shared dorm with yujin just to watch her fuck you because she doesn’t believe that two losers can do it? WELL

wonyoung tries hard to hide her surprise when she sees that you two were serious when you told her that you’ve done this before 😭 of course someone with a reputation and social status like hers wouldn’t think two bookworms could fuck or even have a love life, much less when two of that weirdo were dating!

she was in awe at the sight of you lying on the bed, with your shirt unbuttoned and your tits bouncing beneath the confines of your bra due to how hard yujin was ramming her cock into you 😔 breathy and whiny moans escaping your lips every time yujin’s hips slammed against your ass in a speed that you're sure makes the head of the bed hit against the wall of the room

and she is also impressed because she never saw this side of yujin 😳 always looking so charming and charismatic, a sweet and friendly girl with everyone and a complete gentlemanly sweetheart with her girlfriend 🥺💕 but right now, there was nothing sweet about the way yujin was growling against your shoulder and fucking you like she hated you 🥰

but even here you can’t save yourself from wonyoung’s bad luck! she is here, kneeling next to you on the bed

“play with your tits while yujin fucks you, (y/n)–ah. you know how to do it, right? or has your girlfriend never given you anything more than awkward vanilla sex?”

and you obey her order like the good girl you always are 🥺 you would have just pulled down your bra to expose your breasts if it weren’t for yujin directing her hands to your back for a moment, unhooking your bra and helping you take it off along with your shirt, giving you better comfort because even in this humiliating moment she is a sweet girlfriend who wants to provide you with the best comfort and experience possible 🥹💕

and the way you cup your tits in your hands and pinch and twist your nipples between your fingers makes wonyoung understand that this is clearly not the first time you’ve done this…

wonyoung doesn’t let the stern look that yujin gives her pass, being aware of the way wonyoung’s eyes were shamelessly scanning your body, but yujin looks so attractive and so dorky at the same time with those thick frame glasses that wonyoung can’t help but tease her too 🥰

“yujin–ah, you should move your hips like this. otherwise, you will never give your girlfriend an orgasm.” moving her hands to yujin’s hips and beginning to guide her movements, forcing yujin to give you harder and deeper thrusts that make you both moan at the same time

yujin looking so attractive as she runs a hand through her messy hair, taking a moment to adjust the glasses that threatened to fall off the bridge of her nose as she bit her lip and drops of sweat slowly ran down her neck. “don’t listen to her, princess. you’re doing a good job, being such a good girl for me. now just lie there and take what daddy gives you.” yujin says as she lifts your legs up onto her thighs, sliding a hand between your legs and beginning to play with your clit the way she knows you like it 😵‍💫

wonyoung would have made a comment and dirty joke about whether yujin knew where the clitoris was located, but she was so shocked because she never thought you two would have this kind of dynamic 😳 always thinking that you two were the kind of idiots who don’t know how to fuck properly and make everything awkward and weird, making her swallow her words and start to get frustrated for witnessing such a good fuck and not being able to be part of it 💔

when she knows that the orgasm of both of you is close she knows that it is her moment to tease! or so she thinks…

“c’mon yujin, are you going to take your cock out and jerk off to cum on her—? oh…” and she is surprised when she sees, that on the contrary, yujin does not withdraw inside you when she cums, shooting her heavy load into your womb, filling you with her warm cum while at the same time you squirt all over her cock, keeping her length inside you to make sure her cum stays in there until your pussy swallows it whole 😍

wonyoung is so focused on the way the combined fluids of both of you are oozing out from your pussy that she doesn’t notice when yujin gets up from the bed and approaches her, realizing this when she feels a hand grab a handful of her hair and give it a sharp tug that makes her wince in pain.

“now, i want you to sit on my girlfriend’s face and look me straight in the eyes while she does it. let’s see if she is also a virgin loser like you always say.” and wonyoung knows she is screwed when she sees how you’re now lying on your side, eyes half–closed and a lazy grin as you wiggle your index finger for her to come closer…

[grifffins]

Avis & Lilia Headcanons with an inexperienced partner 🥺🥺🥺

baby, i got you - also, I can never write it in headcanon format, my bad.

Lilia Calderu

Lilia is indulgent and endlessly patient. The first time she realises you are inexperienced, she doesn’t tease, doesn’t make you feel small. Instead, she tilts her head, reaches out, and cups your cheek in her palm, thumb stroking idly over your skin.

"Oh, amore," she murmurs, voice low and sweet, so full of warmth. "Then let me show you."

She isn’t in a rush, she has all the time in the world for you. She starts with kisses, slow and deep, never taking more than you offer. She lets you get used to the feeling of her, lets you breathe her in, lets your body relax beneath her touch.

If you become nervous, hesitant, or uncertain, she doesn’t push. She just smiles, presses soft kisses along your jaw, whispers, "We’ll go as slow as you like, tesoro."

She guides you with her hands, with her voice, with the careful, reverent way she touches you. She murmurs, "Like this, baby," as she trails her fingers down your spine, as she presses kisses to your shoulder, as she guides your hands to touch her in turn.

And when the moment comes? When you are ready, trembling, clutching at her like she is the only thing keeping you grounded? She whispers, "You’re doing so well, my love. Let me take care of you."

She is gentle, slow, utterly unhurried. She makes sure you feel everything, every brush of her lips, every warm stroke of her hands, every breathless sigh against your skin. She takes her time, lets you feel safe, lets you explore, lets you fall into the moment at your own pace.

And when it’s over? She holds you close, tucks you against her chest, strokes a hand through your hair, pressing lazy, lingering kisses to your temple. She hums soft Italian words of devotion, warmth radiating from her touch, from her voice, from the way she keeps you wrapped in her arms like she never wants to let go.

"You were perfect," she whispers, smiling against your hair. "Did you enjoy it?"

And when you nod, too blissed out to even speak? She chuckles softly, presses a kiss to your forehead.

Avis Amberg

Avis has never been loved the way she deserves. She is used to taking lovers out of necessity, used to paying for her pleasure, used to getting what she wants but never what she needs.

She doesn’t ask for softness. She doesn’t expect it.

But when she sees the way you look at her, uncertain, nervous, like you want to give her something real, she can’t pretend it doesn’t shake her.

"You don’t have to be nervous, sweetheart," she murmurs, her voice softer than usual, full of something unspoken. "I’ll take care of you."

And she does.

She takes the lead effortlessly, with quiet confidence, with patience, with a tenderness she so rarely allows herself to show.

She kisses you slowly, deeply. She strokes her fingers down your arms, over your waist, soothing, patient, never rushing you.

If your hands hesitate on her skin, if you falter, if your voice is unsure, she just smiles. She takes your hands in hers, presses them against her body, whispering, "You can touch me, darling. However you like. I’ll tell you what feels good."

She guides you with gentle encouragement, never demanding, never impatient, only giving, only offering. She makes sure you know you’re doing well, that there’s no right or wrong, only feeling, only pleasure.

"Just like that, love," she murmurs, voice thick with warmth, with devotion, with something deeper than she’s willing to name. "You’re perfect. Let me show you more."

And when you finally fall into it, when you surrender to the moment, when you let her lead you through it, slow and careful?

She shudders beneath your touch, her fingers tightening against your skin, her breath hitching in a way that feels almost fragile.

Because she’s never had this before.

Not like this.

Not with someone who wants to give to her, who wants to make her feel like she matters.

She doesn’t let herself think about that now. She just smiles, presses a kiss to your lips.

And when it’s over? When you are both spent, relaxed, glowing from the aftershocks?

She presses a cigarette to your lips, lets you take a drag, smirks lazily as she steals it back and murmurs, "See? Nothing to be nervous about at all, love."

But when she turns away, when she exhales smoke into the quiet of the room, she hesitates, because for once, she isn’t trying to convince herself it wasn’t real.

[captain-bubble-wrap]

please a auston matthews x younger reader (like 21) and they are in a kinda private relationship but make an appearance at family skate or something if that makes sense 😓😓

I did some digging and couldn't find anything exactly like a "family skate" that wasn't a charity, so I invented one for the sake of the fic! 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ I hope you enjoy~ 🤞🏻 Sorry it took me longer than expected, I really struggled with this, and I apologize. 🥺🥺

C|W: none • W|C: 2.2k

You had felt nervous since waking up, and constantly watching the clock had done nothing to improve the situation. All morning you had danced through countless scenarios of how this day could go, what could possibly go wrong, and everything in between. Your roommate had asked you if you were okay each time she saw you, the same concerned expression on your face.

"Are you sure?"

"What--? Oh, yeah, it's nothing! I have an event later. I'm just worried about...things."

She looked at you curiously, and you regretted what details you had let slip out. "Things?"

Nervously you laughed, like you were trying to play it off as nothing, "Yeah, you know, gotta look good..."

"Right..."

You knew good and well that she didn't believe anything you were saying. She was used to you being quiet and guarded of your private life, but this felt different.

"Are you...in trouble or something?" She pressed, not ready to let it go yet.

Looking at her like a deer in the headlights, you'd actually manage a genuine smile. "No, I'm not in any trouble! I'm just in my own head -- stupid stuff that I'm making too big of a deal over! I'll be fine once I get where I have to be. I promise. Just me...being me."

"Okay...if you're sure," she replied reluctantly. "I just want to help, okay?"

"I understand! Thank you~"

Shortly after the exchange, you'd return to your bedroom and flop facedown on the bed, a tightness growing in the center of your chest. It was panic, and you knew the feeling all too well, but the last thing you wanted was it ruining your day.

*ping, ping*

Blindly, your hand would search for your phone, quickly finding it amongst the blankets. You relaxed slightly once you saw that it was Auston who had messaged.

Matty: You doing okay, baby?

Y|N: Yeah

Matty: :/ What's wrong?

Y|N: I'm just nervous

Matty: About this afternoon?

Y|N: Yeah

Matty: I won't let you fall! ;)

Y}N: It's not that

Matty: It's just the team and their families, baby, they're not going to make a big deal about anything. No cameras if that's what you're worried about

Y|N: Okay

Matty: :/ I wouldn't lie to you

Y|N: I know, I'm sorry

Matty: I'll be by to get you in a little bit, okay?

Y|N: Just text me when you're out front and I'll come out. Sarah is being nosy

Matty: You can't keep me a secret forever ;)

Y|N: I know, today just isn't the day

Matty: I understand, baby. Whenever you feel comfortable.

Y|N: Thank you bb

Matty: Of course. I'll see you soon. I love you <3

YN| <3 I love you, too <3

You'd stay the next two hours in your room; one hour spent on a nap, and the other getting ready for the afternoon's event with Auston. Right on time, your phone dinged with a message from him saying that he was waiting out front. You'd say goodbye to Sarah in a hurry before rushing outside to slip into the passenger side of his car, your skates in a bag over your shoulder.

"Why do I feel like a getaway driver," Auston asked, after seeing you exit your apartment in such haste. His contained laughter resulted in a smirk as he looked at you.

You sighed as you clicked your seatbelt into place, "Hi, baby."

"Hey, mama," he affectionately replied. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I swear that's the question of the day. Yeah, I'm fine."

Auston's hand came to rest on your leg, and you'd wrap both of yours around it as he merged back into traffic. You knew he was only trying to make sure he wasn't forcing you into today, but you felt like there was a red light going off above your head that signaled that you were "off".

"I promise today will be fun, and if it isn't, well, we'll leave, okay? You just let me know how you're feeling. I promise you, this is just a fun, carefree kind of day, alright?"

You'd give him a nod, before letting your eyes zone out through the passenger side window. He wouldn't press you for conversation until you arrived at the practice arena, but he would give you soft, little squeezes along the way.

Once parked in the parking garage, Auston would confirm one more time if you were still comfortable with everything. He was worried about you; worried that he was pressuring you to join him.

"No, Matty, I'm okay, really. I'm just--"

Pulling you into a kiss, you'd completely melt into his touch, your worries falling away almost instantly. "I just want you to be comfortable."

"Will you stay with me?"

Auston smiled, "I won't leave you alone."

- - -

Inside, the two of you found yourselves amongst a dozen or so of Auston's teammates, their wives and small children. You stayed by his side the entire time, his hand never leaving yours. They were caring on general conversations when you noticed one of the children staring at you. She was cute, but transfixed glaring at you, almost unblinking. At first, you thought she was just looking at Auston, but no-- she had her full attention on you and it seemed no one realized it but you.

Auston was busy talking with Mitch, while you were losing a staring contest with a five-year-old, but eventually, everyone would consent to getting the little team event started. As everyone walked off, however, Auston turned to you, wrapping his arms low around your waist.

"What's wrong?"

"I was getting mean-mugged by a five-year-old..."

Auston tried not to laugh, but his beautiful smile shone through regardless of him honestly trying not to hurt your feelings. "Oh, I saw."

"I've never felt so threatened by a child in my life," you confessed, your hands resting gently on his hips.

"Some weeks ago she told she was going to marry me. You must be competition," Auston said, finally allowing himself laugh. "She was dead-serious about it, too. It made everyone laugh."

You just sighed and laid your head against his chest. "But I loved you first."

His grip tightened, "Gonna take more than a playground proposal to get me away from you."

With your face away from his, you smiled at what he had said -- how cute it had rolled off his tongue and the butterflies it had given you.

"Can you lace my skates for me, please?"

He smiled, "Of course. C'mon, let's get going before they start to tease us."

- - -

Back in the dressing room, children were running wild in a little gang while their parents struggled to contain them. You both slipped in quietly enough, and Auston had you take a seat below his nameplate on the bench while he unlaced your skates.

"I can do that," you reassured, hand outstretched for him to give you your other skate, but he just gave you a smirk instead.

"Alright, Cinderella, give me your foot," he teased. "Let's see if this glass slipper fits."

"I hope it does!"

He was so gentle as he guided your foot into your skate, tying it up tightly. You were in your own little world, just watching him take care of you and with something so simple as lacing laces. Neither of you would notice anyone looking at the two of you having your little intimate moment. Some of the guys knew Auston was seeing someone, but they knew better than anyone, that he was an extremely private person so they didn't press him for juicy details, but seeing him with you made them smile. They loved their captain and wanted him just as happy as the next guy.

"Do you need me to move?"

"Nah, there's room," Auston replied, sitting down right next to you to get his own skates on. "I didn't get those too tight, did I?"

You'd shake your head, pulling your hands into the sleeves of his hoodie you were wearing. "Nope, they feel good, thank you."

"Okay, good," he said, making quick work of his own, giving your leg a quick squeeze when he was done. "Are you warm enough? Kinda wondered if I had left that hoodie in a hotel somewhere."

You laughed, blush flooding your cheeks, "I'll give it back!"

"Nah, it looks good on you. All yours, baby," He whispered before placing a kiss to your temple. "Still remember how to walk in those?"

"I think so -- hope so!"

- - -

Those hallways had felt like miles, but eventually, the two of you made it to the ice and while it was still pretty vacant. It seemed getting skates on children was proving harder than most had anticipated. You were thankful for the quiet though you knew it wasn't going to last for long.

"You want some shooting practice?" Auston asked, half-joking as he tossed a few pucks down on the ice, giving your butt a soft tap with his stick as you slowly skated away from him.

"Hey! Don't do that!"

Though you were laughing, Auston still apologized. "Sorry, babe! You're doing fine; it will come back to you."

"I've forgotten how to turn!" You said before using the boards to stop you. You felt embarrassed that you had forgotten so much, skating opposite Auston no less.

"Bend you knees and lean, babe. Lean your upper body in whichever direction you want to turn."

You'd follow his directions and after the first successful turn, it felt familiar again. You weren't doing punch turns by any means, but at least you didn't need forty feet to turn a semi-circle. Auston would skate up beside you, hand resting on the small of your back just in case you got wobbly.

"You're doing fine, I know it's been a while."

"My legs hurt already," you joked, feeling the sting in your thighs.

"Wanna catch your breath on the bench? I don't want you to get hurt."

At first, you were going to decline his offer, but he had a point. The last thing you wanted was to pull something just because you were trying to keep up with an NHL player. There wasn't any shame in taking a break, you weren't a professional by any means.

"I feel like I've only been out here thirty seconds," you replied, feeling defeated.

"Hey, I've had games where I've done a thirty second shift."

You gave him a look, "You're skating at twenty miles an hour!"

Auston would turn tight in front of you, stopping you against his chest. He had a look on his face that was meant to make you feel okay about needing a minute, but you looked down out of shame. By now, there were more people skating past, paying zero mind to the two of you just standing there. You felt so small against him, the embarrassment making you wish you could melt right through the ice.

"Wait right here, okay?"

After giving him a nod, Auston returned to the bench to leave his stick behind so he could be fully engaged with you. "Give me your hands, mama," he asked, returning to the ice in front of you.

You'd do as he asked, and soon after he was skating backwards, pulling you along gently in tow. It amazed you how he knew how many strides he needed in the corners without looking, how long he could go in the straights before having to turn again. You felt safe with him having a hold of you.

"Want me to let go of you?"

"Going a little fast."

Auston chuckled before slowing his pace. "Better?"

"Maybe, I'm sorry."

"No, no, don't be! I don't want to scare you and make you panic."

After a few more seconds you'd let him know that you were good enough, and slowly your hands would slip out of his. He still remained facing you as you kept pace with him.

"Remember, wide stance, and lean. Ah, see, there you go!"

Your smile transferred to him as he quietly cheered you on before letting you collide with him gently. He'd put his arms around you again, picking you up in a slight spin before making sure you had your footing before letting go. As much as you had been apprehensive about today, you were happy you had gone through with his invitation. Everyone else was off in there own little worlds, chasing children or teaching their wives. Right now, it was just you and Auston.

"I love you, Matty," you said smiling, holding on to him tightly.

"And I love you, baby. Thanks for coming with me."

"I'm glad you talked me into it, but you owe me dinner!"

He laughed, bending to put his forehead against yours, "Wherever you want to go."

[asexualbookbird]

Okay, so, I didn't read a whole lot this month. Hear me out. I'm not mad about it. I got SO much crafting done across different mediums. Nothing to show for it, really, but I'm having so much fun being creative in a way I haven't felt in a very long time. I think I might actually be able to set up some type of tiny shop about it, too. Got my embroidery machine up and running in a way that allows me to create my own designs, and when I tell you the creative juices are flowing, boy howdy it's like a dam has broken. I also started pokemon Violet, and while that's slow going, I'm having a lot of fun with it. So, no I'm not mad at my reading habits this month.

In the Ravenous Dark by AM Strickland ⭐️⭐️⭐️ - Phew. Okay. This was. A very bumpy ride. The first half was a slog, honestly, and the writing and pacing is not great, but the last third or so reminded me a lot of Beyond the Ruby Veil which was also not outstanding, but it was fun. Fucked up, feral lesbians. Poly family friendship going on. The plot is so basic, the magic neat, the worldbuilding lacking. I would not read it again, but at the end I'm not entirely mad I did.

Dark Matter by Blake Crouch ⭐️ - I don't even know what to say. I didn't expect to be wowed, I went in expecting no more than a mediocre thriller. What I got was A Book Written By A Man™️. How many times can a guy fridge one wife? Infinitely, apparently! I was semi on board until he started fighting his other selves. That was dumb as shit.

The Art of Prophecy by Wesley Chu ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - *Gordon Ramsay voice* Finally, a good fucking book. This took me most of the month to read, but I'm not mad about it. It was nice to sit quietly with this book, and while it took it's time, I never felt bored with it. I can't really pinpoint what keeps it from five stars, and maybe my rating will change in the future, but I did really enjoy this. It has a wonderful cast, everyone felt very real and well rounded, it was bloody, but never felt gratuitously so. It was a good book and I very much want to continue the series.

Favorite of the month was most definitely Art of the Prophecy. Kind of unfair because Dark Matter was such a disaster, but Ravenous Dark had it's perks. Mainly being batshit crazy and ending in polyamory.

My friends, as always, have been incredibly kind to me. I could not have gotten through the last couple months without them. Would like to do a couple of buddy reads in the coming months. I really did like taking my time with a longer book, and I think I'm ready to tackle the final book in the Rook and Rose trilogy. My library also finally got a copy of The Bone Maker on audio and while I haven't listened to an audiobook since December, I'm excited to give that a listen. As always, be kind whenever possible.

[slavicdolls4mangione]

Literally the only fluffy thought coming to mind is just cuddling him 🥺 not sure if it’s bc of my cycle or what but all I want to do is just hold him in my arms and give him so many kisses. Like I need him to put his whole weight on me while he lies his head on my stomach and I run my hand through his hair. Maybe even sing him a lullaby or something. Skalfkdhsg I’m feeling so sappy 😩😩

OH.. holding him in my arms would probably make all my problems go away i swear :,). here’s a little drabble for you anonie <333

the soft glow of the tv flickered in the dimly lit room, casting shadows on the walls as the rain tapped gently against the window. it was one of those cold friday nights where the world outside felt distant, and all that mattered was the warmth between the two of you. luigi was curled up beside you, his head resting heavily on your stomach, his body sinking into yours like he belonged there. and he did.

you smiled softly, your fingers threading through his dark, slightly messy curls, brushing them back in slow, soothing strokes. he let out a content sigh, his breath warm against your shirt, and you felt his weight press into you a little more, as if he was letting go of everything; every worry, every thought, just to be here, with you.

“comfy?” you hummed, your voice barely above the hum of the tV.

he nodded lazily, his cheek squishing against your stomach as he tilted his head to look up at you. his eyes were half-lidded, sleepy but full of affection. “mhm. you’re very warm.”

you chuckled softly, leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead, then another to the bridge of his nose, and finally one to his lips. he hummed against your mouth, his hand reaching up to rest on your chest, fingers curling slightly into the fabric of your shirt.

“you’re spoiling me,” he murmured, his voice drowsy but teasing.

“good,” you replied, kissing him again, because how could you not? he was here, in your arms, his whole weight on you, trusting you to hold him. and you would. always.

the movie played on, forgotten, as you stayed like that, wrapped up in each other, the cold world outside nothing more than a distant thought.

[justcherryqwq]

As a Paraniod fan this hurts a lot 🥲💔 RIP

But I'm happy Skeptic is in HEA it really does make sense to me adding Skeptic in there because before HEA we keep questioning the Damsel what she really wants and never get a proper answer from her, she just only wants us to make us happy. And in HEA we told the Princess if she's really happy of this happy little place and we want the truth of her and we finally get her answer.

Sooo, it's a good thing Paraniod got replaced and also sad at the same thing :((

(Sorry my explaining sucks)

Edit: And the fact I didn't do the HEA route yet made me so mad at myself for not going to that route earlier and never get a chance to hear paraniod's dialogue 🥺

[slutsareteacherstoo]

Gonna be blasting all these songs that came up below like wow, Reina. You got me fr. Its highkey a sign for me. Like lemme not block my blessings and get my shit together real quick but amazing

First up gon be that Keyshia Cole

Me reading the warnings more clearly know and sending praise 😩🙏🏿

OH SHE IS FREE?!?! GRACIAS MI REINA 🙏🏿🧎🏿‍♀️I WAS STRESSING!!!!! but damn that’s not freedom frfr but she out!

Come on inner dialogue tingz!!! 🗣️🗣️ “Guilt was burning across all of my deepest thoughts, creating a pile of self-doubt and resentment in the crevices of every memory— happy, sad, or indifferent.”

“For me, it was like carrying around a burden of responsibility that was far too delicate and overwhelming. As hard as I fought to keep the world inside my head unburdened by the plague of self-doubt, I failed— forgetting just how easy it is for me to self-destruct without the slightest potential of reprieve.” Its giving sisyphus😪free my girl fr!!!!

Shit that freaked me out but i too would freak out and had i heard someone fall to the floor

“I was battling the urge to do what I normally do—spew hateful words until the other person retreats. For the first time in my life, my body and mind actually agreed with my heart. I couldn't do it. Nothing would come out no matter how many times I opened my mouth— no words word forms and all sounds were deafened on my lips. I was unconsciously saving myself from myself, and, in this fight, I was my only opponent.” - you be writing poetry? 🧐🤨 just curious 🤓 it’s very lyrical, very verse!!! I like that last sentence.

OH GOT HE TOGETHER REAL QUICK!!!!!

Nah Havana. We nuh av dat!!!! 😤 THE PERSON IN FRONT IS SHOWING YOU THEY LOVE YOU BABY YOU NOT PRETENDING!! And ol boy knows its not an act 😩

“…Today might not be that day, but dammit if I don't try.” - well *claps hands* so when’s the wedding??? 🤭 no but that was some real shit. This IS some real shit. Havana’s inability to accept her relationship with Terry and his love for her for what it is is def a situation ik all too well, even when all the conditions are met that doesn’t change the mindfuck and guilt can be consuming. And also like being able too see the grey. Cuz like yes 🙄 Vana couldve reeled it in a bit but/and/also Terry was being communicative and ignored Vana when she brought up what happened and how it clearly bothered her. So the moral is that there’s shared accountability in all this!!!

*LEARN SOMETHING FROM THIS*

Yes we love big bawling, emotional Terry being raw and vulnerable

“Go to sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up,” I cooed into his ear.” 🥺🥺

“I love you,” I said softly, kissing Terry's head. “I just gotta figure out how… how to love me, too.” - WHEW THATLL DO IT!!!!! 😭

Not his voice metro booming i wouldve [redacted] right there

“Nah…. Not Daddy. Terry. That's my name tonight. Okay?” he said, pressing me further into the mattress.” - THEY GON BE MAKING LOVE TONIGHT YALL 😫 play “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” by Elton John

OH SHIT WE DOIN AFFIRMATIONS NOW?!?!

I blinked in between the pumps like sorry Vana. scooch over real quick i need to hear this 😅🙈

HEY SIRI PUT THAT DESTIN CONRAD “IT’S YOURS” ON REPEAT!!!

Lmaooo ok ok ok Reina 😌Mi Reina you’ve redeemed yourself in the eyes of your public. Now i know (partially)why you had the girls [gender neutral] up in arms. But wow!!!

This was sooo disarming. Like you stripped me raw and got me reflecting like fuck. I don’t do fisticuffs but that anger and being quick to use it on people who aren’t careful. Them words could cut a bitch fr!!! But like wow im like taken aback and in awe. Like shoutout to Vana for seeing herself through it. I mean Terry helped or whatever 🙄 but again Vana did the heavy lifting and thT makes me soo proud to see.

And you’ve done such an amazing job crafting these characters, esp your OC and making her face her shit and be real with herself, always for the better. Like chile lemme get myself together so I can be present in my future relationships like damn. It took me a minute to catch up but it was actually perfect timing. Like wow.

Im constantly blown away by you and seeing you expand in your craft. Ik im a behind but ik that means theres more in store to give flowers to always 💜

Big Mama Pt. 12 | Enough

Pairing: Terry Richmond x Plus Size Fem Black!OC

Wordcount: +5.1K

Warnings: MDNI (18+) mature content, such as cursing, light smut (fingering), heavily dialogue-centered, angst, verbal argument, self-deprecation

🦋Big Mama (series) => 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11

Early That Morning

“Monnie, I don't know… Everything is just…,” I said, crying softly.

“Girl! If you don't just praise God right quick, and call that man to thank him.” Monnie said, smacking her lips. She was understandably agitated with my response. Was it lackluster? Yes, but I didn't know what to say or do about it. I didn't want to seem ungrateful, but I honestly wasn't happy with the outcome.

After almost three weeks of pure hell, I received a call from a lawyer that Terry himself hired. I was told the conditions for maintaining my freedom as I was currently living in the aftermath of the incident between Terry, me, and Taylor. It was finally over, but here I was still crumbling under the weight of it all.

The terms and conditions were as follows:

Terry agrees not to sue Taylor as long as she agrees not to sue me.

Terry agrees not to file and pursue criminal charges against Taylor as long as she agrees to drop the charges against me and forfeit her right to refile.

I would not be allowed to approach Taylor in any public setting, but we could be present in the same vicinity.

There would be no established restraining order from Taylor against me, just a peace order since we have no standing or pre-existing relationship.

Terry's family agreed to take care of any outstanding medical bills for Taylor, along with her receiving a small undisclosed amount.

The records would be expunged after 90 days.

The terms were simple and clear. I just hated how much Terry had to give up for it. The outcome was obviously unfavorable and one-sided. The single impartial party who deserved justice and compensation received none— Terry. Because of that, I felt like crawling into a hole and never resurfacing. Guilt was burning across all of my deepest thoughts, creating a pile of self-doubt and resentment in the crevices of every memory— happy, sad, or indifferent.

My faith in love had been tainted by my own doing not because I didn't think Terry loved me but because I felt like he shouldn't. Every voice in my head told me I was and should've been deemed unlovable years ago. Honestly, a person like me is not capable of accepting a love as pure as Terry's. For me, it was like carrying around a burden of responsibility that was far too delicate and overwhelming. As hard as I fought to keep the world inside my head unburdened by the plague of self-doubt, I failed— forgetting just how easy it is for me to self-destruct without the slightest potential of reprieve.

2 Hours Later

KNOCK

KNOCK

KNOCK

KNOCK

I was startled awake by the thunder of someone pounding on my front door. I had fallen asleep on the loveseat in my living room.

Jumping up, I attempted to make my way to the door. I used the oversized plush blanket as a cover and held it tightly against my body. I was only wearing a sports bra and micro-biker shorts.

As I walked around the edge of the coffee table, the blanket snagged the corner and positioned itself under my feet. My right foot got trapped in the sea of fabric, causing me to crash onto the floor. My knees collided with the laminated wood with vigor. I had no time to lick my wounds.

“Shit!” I yelled.

At this point, I was more than agitated. I tore the blanket off of me and tossed it to the floor. Using the arm of the recliner, I regained my footing and stood up. I placed my hands on my hips and drew in a deep breath as my body registered the pain from the fall.

Before I could make another move, the knocking began again. This time, the sounds were harder and louder.

KNOCK

KNOCK

KNOCK

KNOCK

Each knock sounded off, shaking the front door. I paused in fear. My anxiety peaked as my mind began to race with disturbing thoughts. I wasn't expecting visitors, so who was this?

“I can hear you inside, ‘Vana. Please, just open the door.” said a muffled voice from outside.

No. No. No. It couldn't be. Why would he be here?

“Terry?!” I yelled back in confusion and relief.

“Yes, baby! Now, can you open the door? We really need to talk,” he said.

I remained frozen in place. Losing the ability to hear, Terry's voice began to drown out.

“Havana!” he yelled again.

“Uh, Terry. I just… I don't…,” I whimpered loudly.

Before any coherent thoughts left my lips, the door swung open. I couldn't help but stare at Terry in shock.

“How the fuck……,” I asked as I approached him slowly.

“I had a key made months ago. I wanted it for emergencies. This counts as an emer….,” Terry said.

“Terry! Get out! Now!” I yelled. I was beyond frustrated and tired.

Today has worn me thin, and my patience was at its lowest. I wasn't in the mood for tolerating any form of nonsense or mess.

“No! Havana, baby… We need to talk, and I'm not leaving until we do.”

I knew I owed Terry an apology, a conversation, and everlasting grace; but I couldn't even find it in me to give myself the same.

I was battling the urge to do what I normally do—spew hateful words until the other person retreats. For the first time in my life, my body and mind actually agreed with my heart. I couldn't do it. Nothing would come out no matter how many times I opened my mouth— no words word forms and all sounds were deafened on my lips. I was unconsciously saving myself from myself, and, in this fight, I was my only opponent.

“Havana, look at me!” Terry said, grabbing my chin. Oh, how a firm yet loving hand can change things. My heart fluttered and skipped in my chest as his fingers stoked the surface of my skin.

“Terry… I… I'm sorry,” I said as tears finally broke free. “You�� Y-you deserve more than I can give you. I want… I want you to be happy. I just don't think that can happen with me.”

“Mama, don—,” Terry said.

“No! Terry, just lea—leave. Please!” I yelled, pushing him away.

“Havana,” Terry said, grabbing my arms. His eyes dropped to meet mine.

Yanking away from him, I yelled again, “Ter—!”. Before I could finish, Terry's face shifted into a look of utter aggravation.

“That's it! Havana Rose,…. sit down or I'll sit you down,” Terry muttered through gritted teeth as he pointed towards the couch.

I stood there for a second frozen in shock. I never expected Terry to put up this much of a fight.

“Aight, I'm done. I'm sick—,” he started to speak as he picked me up and tossed me over his shoulder, “—of this shit!”.

Terry began to carry me down the hall. I pushed against his back in a feeble attempt to be released. I knew struggling was pointless, but I wasn't ready for the conversation Terry clearly wanted to have.

As we rounded the corner of my bedroom door, I could feel the tears falling with ease. There was no noise leaving my body as I silently wept. I should've prepared for this more productively. Instead, I tried to choose a coward's way out, and Terry wasn't having it.

Like always, life had a weirdly tumultuous way of making me confront my feelings.

Placing me on the bottom edge of my bed, Terry stood in front of me. His eyes scanned my face as he watched me teeter on the edge of implosion.

“Hav—,” Terry started. He squatted down in front of me and rested his hands on my knees.

As much as I wanted this to end, one question was burning through my mind— heavy and bitter as it weighed on my tongue. Unfortunately for me, the four words could not be swallowed back down, allowing the unpleasantness of the discontent to fester in the back of my throat. I knew how to rectify this feeling, and I knew how to pacify the voices in my head. But, should I, and did I deserve it?

“Do you love me?” I asked, avoiding Terry's gaze. I could see his lips begin moving, so I placed my hand over his mouth. “No, just listen to me. I want you to think about what happened. I can't even control my anger. W-what if… you wake up one day and finally realize y-you… deserve better… than me. I'm sick of pretending like… like I'm enough. Terry, we both know I'll never be enough, so let's just end this now,” I spoke barely above a whisper.

Terry's hands lifted to rest on my shoulders. As his eyes pleaded with me, I saw a glimmer of something I wish I didn't— hesitation and uncertainty. I slowly pushed his hands off my shoulders, waiting for him to just say what we already knew.

Terry didn't love me. He loved what he thought I—

“’Vana, let's get something clear. I love you with all my fuckin' heart. Just saying I love you isn't enough for me because you're everything to me. What can I do to show you that? Huh? Tell me, love. What can I do?”

I hung my head in defeat. Most women would be swooning over this, but it only added another layer to the guilt that was consuming me. Now, he was giving me unconditional love when I couldn't even allow myself the space to apologize.

“Terry, no. Please, just—,” I choked, wiping away tears.

“No, you stop. Stop beating yourself up about this. I understand that what I did made you doubt me, but don't ever feel like the problem was you. I was. I did it. All of this is on me. If I would have been man enough to tell you the truth about what happened, there wouldn't have been a fight. That one mistake caused all of this. This is my fault, not yours. And—,” he spewed breathlessly.

“Terry…,” I interrupted him.

“No, let me finish. Believe me, when I say this, I'll fight the devil himself for you. I'll climb the mountains in heaven just to find you again. I don't think you understand me, baby. I love every part of you. I hope that one day you can see that. Today might not be that day, but dammit if I don't try.”

Terry stood at his full height, towering over me. His eyes were bright yet somehow lacking their normal vitality, seeming to be void of any indication of happiness. It became clear to me that this was wearing Terry down just as much as it was me. As much as I wanted him to give up, the idea of causing him such grief and fatigue weighed heavily on my heart.

He drew his hands into fists as I watched his eyes. His face became flustered, and his breathing became ragged. Every breath choppier than the last. I could sense something brewing inside of him. His hands were shaking slightly as they rested by his side. As he unclenched and clenched his fists, his bottom lip began to quiver. His eyes glossed over, and his gaze became lethargic. No… No… This couldn't be happening.

“Terry, I'm sorry. I just feel like we can't—,” I said, standing from the bed.

Tears were streaming from Terry's eyes. The strength in his face was faltering right before my eyes.

I slowly reached out to touch his face, stroking his cheek while I wiped away the tears. He grabbed my hand, holding it tightly against his cheek.

“These… these last few weeks have been pure hell for me. I missed you so much, mama. It's like for the first… for the first time in my life, I know love; and that's because of you,” he paused for a moment, taking long deep breaths. “It was a funny feeling at first…. and coming to terms with it was hell. You only hear of women wanting to be seen and heard, but now that I know the feeling—. I don't think I could ever go back to what I thought love was.”

“Terry, you really feel that way?” I asked, sobbing with him at this point.

“Yes, it honestly scared me when I realized how much I loved you… Whew… I had to sit with the fact that I had never loved someone that much… and… and I had never been loved properly before you. Baby,… listen to me… I can say this before God and before you… that this is a love worth fighting for. Havana Rose, YOU'RE worth fighting for. Do you… please, tell me you understand,” he sobbed into my hand.

“Terry, baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't want… I just didn't know what to say,” I said, pulling him into a hug.

“You don't have to say anything. Just tell me you're not leaving,” he said, kissing the top of my head.

His hands wrapped around my waist even tighter. I rested my face in his chest and mumbled a quiet no.

How could I leave him, especially now? For the first time, my heart felt— full.

“Thank you, ‘Vana. I love you. Okay?” he said, leaning into me.

“I love you, too,” I confessed, wiping away my tears.

I reached out to touch Terry's face, tracing the outline of his jaw. As if that was all the reassurance he needed, his shoulders dropped slowly. I watched patiently as his body returned to a state of normalcy— shoulders broad, chest out, and head high.

As we stood there silently refusing to let each other go, he let out a long yawn.

“Tired?” I questioned, looking up at him.

“Yeah,” he laughed.

“Wanna take a nap… uh… together?” I asked, praying that he would say yes.

There was nothing I craved more than his touch right now. I needed him bad. Luckily, I didn't have to wait long for his answer.

“Hell, yeah!” he blurted, lifting me. His hands carefully wrapped my legs around his waist.

He kneeled on the edge of the bed, crawling towards the head with me in his arms. He gently laid me in the center of the pillows. I released my legs and let them fall onto the bed.

Finally untangling from each other, Terry lifted himself onto his hands. He scooted down so that his head was resting on my chest. I used one hand to run my fingers through his velvety hair, massaging his scalp with my fingertips. The other hand soothingly rubbed his back like a baby. Terry's arms wrapped under my body, embracing me tightly. I let my lips rest at the top of his head.

“Go to sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up,” I cooed into his ear.

2 Hours Later

Waking up to Terry's body on mine felt like home— a place I'd never been allowed to experience. As I watched his shoulders rise and fall with each breath, I released one of my own. With him here in my arms, I could breathe again.

Terry's presence was a breath of fresh air because, admittedly, he was the air that I breathed. I had never felt so attached to anyone or anything. Every part of him called out to something in me. His voice soothed my soul, his lips electrified whatever they touched, his hands… God, his hands absolved me of my suffering, and his eyes knew how to see my heart.

“I love you,” I said softly, kissing Terry's head. “I just gotta figure out how… how to love me, too.”

Terry's arms adjusted underneath me, causing me to hold my breath. Embarrassment washed over me, warming my skin. I was silently praying that he didn't hear me. Releasing a deep groan after a few minutes, I realized he was in a deep sleep again. His shoulders slumped forward, allowing his body to melt into mine.

Releasing a heavy sigh, I leaned over and kissed Terry's forehead. I knew that lifting this man off of me would be damn near impossible. I was debating on if I should wake him up or not. I shifted to one side so his hold on me would loosen. His arms fell away from my body, allowing me to scoot out from under him— barely. I carefully moved towards the edge of the bed. I slowly turned my body so my feet softly landed on the floor.

I stood from the bed, stumbling as the feeling in my legs returned. They felt like jelly as a deep tingling sensation went to my toes. I kicked my feet and flicked my ankles.

As I sauntered across the room, I heard Terry stir in his slumber. I glanced over my shoulder to see him now on his back. His arm thrown across his chest left him posed so… so… delicately like an angel. Terry’s face alone could render even the most wicked defenseless.

I smiled brightly at the sight of him. I quietly opened the bathroom door. Stopping to stare at the mirror, I took in my appearance. Yikes! I looked like… something, and it wasn't nice.

I mentally made plans to do my hair— or maybe I'll just pay someone.

Using the bathroom as quickly as possible, I reentered the bedroom and dried my hands on a towel. I glanced over at Terry to see his chest still rising and falling. I half-smiled at the sight. Walking towards the door, I entered into the front room. I closed the door softly behind me.

Before I could reach the kitchen, I heard a noise coming from behind me. The springs of my old mattress were loud and alarming.

“Havana! Where are you?!” yelled Terry from the bedroom. I could hear the bed creaking again.

I turned around to walk back to the bedroom door. “Why is this man yelling?” I asked myself quietly as I giggled.

“HAVANA!” Terry yelled even louder than the first time. The tone of his voice contained a sense of urgency and concern. Panic set in for me as soon as I realized the distress in his voice.

Sprinting towards the door, I flung it open. “What's wrong?” I inquired softly.

Terry was seated on the edge of the bed, facing the door. His eyes shot up to meet mine. The look on Terry's face made my heart thump. My breath quickened anxiously. His eyes were red, and his face was flushed. His head swayed on his shoulders as his breathing quieted. His fingers dug into the bed with a ferocious grip.

I approached him slowly. Softening my voice before speaking, I raised my hand to stroke his cheek. “Baby, are you okay?” I asked him.

Terry's eyes darted from my face to the floor. The worried look on his face cut deep as his eyes seemed to search for mine. This was not a look of simple anxiety or worry. His countenance was charged with— despair and desperation.

I leaned over to place kisses on his forehead. “Hey, I'm right here. Wh—,” I whispered as Terry threw his arms around my waist.

He pulled me into a fervent embrace. His arms felt like a second skin against my body. I felt his shoulders fall forward as his body went limp against mine. I couldn't understand the overwhelming range of emotions this man was displaying.

“I… I… I th-thought you were gone,” he said with his face pressed into my belly.

I squatted down in front of him. “Terry, I'm not going anywhere. I promise. I told you that, honey,” I said, cupping his chin in my hand.

He slowly shook his head in understanding as if he was coming to terms with my words.

That's when it hit me. HE THOUGHT I HAD LEFT.

“Terry, look at me. I love you. You big baby,” I said, smiling at him somberly.

“I know. I just panicked I guess. I'm sorry about that,” he said, looking at the floor.

“Awww, don't apologize. I'm okay, papa,” I said, rising on my feet. “You hungry?” I asked him while softly caressing the side of his neck.

His head leaned up slowly as a slight grin spread across his face. “Hell yeah,” he laughed.

Later That Night

“You done, baby?” I asked Terry as I stood from the couch. I held my hand out to take his plate.

“Yeah, here—,” he started. “Wait! Give those here. I got it. You sit down,” he said, taking the plates from me.

“Terry, I could've washed them. It isn't that many.”

“Nah… I told you I got it,” he said, kissing my forehead as he walked past me.

I stood there in silence. This was so adorable to me. How could this man get any cuter?

“Ok. Fine. I'll sit, I guess.” I sat down on the arm of the couch.

Terry entered the kitchen and placed the dishes in the sink. I don't know why, but the sight of this man washing dishes was so… I could feel the butterflies in my tummy going wild.

As I watched his back muscles move, I felt something. I immediately felt my panties grow damp as his shirt clung to every curve and crevice of his body.

I bit my lip as I crossed my legs. Feeling my body come alive, I released a quiet sigh. I needed this man— on me, in me, with me, however.

I repositioned myself with my legs on both sides of the arm of the couch so that I was straddling it. I was losing a silent battle between my mind and my body. I could feel my hips move slowly. There was no way this man had me grinding my pussy against a fuckin' couch. The friction of my labia and clit rubbing against the couch through the thin material of my biker shorts aided in creating the slick pool in the seat of my shorts. I knew they were ruined, but I was too aroused to stop.

I gulped in desperation, trying to fight against whatever this was. I didn't want to attack this man just yet. I knew words needed to be said and feelings needed to be discussed. I looked down at my body, covering my face in shame. I was being betrayed by the only thing I thought I had control over— myself. Every movement I made and thought I had was overpowered by him.

I was suffering, and I knew it. There was only one way to stop it. I had to feed the beast.

With eyes stricken with defeat, I looked over at him. I feverishly hummed in desperation, “Terry. I… um… I-,”.

To my surprise, he was no longer facing the sink. He was looking directly at me. I froze in shame. I watched his eyes lower as his gaze dropped. I dropped my head and looked at the floor.

“You need something, ‘Vana?” Terry asked. His voice boomed through the air. The intense weight of that question landed right where I needed it— my heart and my pussy. I was past hot and bothered. I was in the middle of having a sexual crisis.

I looked back at him and nodded. At this point, I was a needy mess. If Terry so much as touched me, I'd cum. I wanted to speak, but I knew whatever sound my lips released would be lascivious.

“I’m going to ask you again. Do you need something?” Terry asked, leaning forward against the kitchen island.

“Yeessss,” I whined.

“And what do you need?” he asked, moving to the other side of the island.

I drew in a breath and spoke, “YOU! I NEED YOU!”.

The speed at which Terry made it to me was incredible. His movements were so swift and fluid that his feet never made a sound.

His arms wrapped around my body as he picked me up. My legs instantly found their home around his waist. As soon as his gaze met mine, our lips crashed into each other's. His tongue grazed the seam of my lips, begging for entry. I parted my lips and without pause, our tongues went to war. Each of us fighting for more.

I leaned back to catch my breath. I was shocked to discover that we were now standing in my bedroom. I was too wrapped up in that kiss to notice our location changed.

Terry softly placed me in the center of the bed. He slowly lifted his shirt above his head before tossing it across the room. His hands dropped to the top of his waistband.

I watched intently as his hands moved to remove his clothes. I was practically salivating in anticipation for his pants to fall. I knew what I wanted to see. Terry sensed my eagerness and released a rumbly laugh. “Patience, baby,” he said, removing his pants.

My eyes locked into the large tent at the front of his boxers. I reached out to palm the ever-growing bulge in need and desperation. My neediness had slowly built up in the pit of my stomach becoming a slow churning ache. Terry’s hand grabbed mine and brought it to his lips. He began gingerly kissing my inner wrist.

��Daddy,” I whimpered, pulling my hand away.

Terry's demeanor shifted as his hand once again grabbed mine. Interlocking his fingers in mine, he pulled my hand towards his chest. He placed it over his heart while leaning over me.

“Nah…. Not Daddy. Terry. That's my name tonight. Okay?” he said, pressing me further into the mattress.

I stared straight into his eyes. Lost for words was an understatement. For some reason, I fully understood the intention behind his declaration. This was between Havana and Terry, and this was NOT a scene.

Moments Later

“Say it, baby. I wanna hear you say it,” Terry said, placing his mouth back on my nipple. Using nothing but the tip of his tongue, he flicked the overly sensitive bud repeatedly.

My body was growing more and more enraptured by nothing more than Terry's touch. The feeling of his tongue and hands all over my body was intoxicating. I was in love, love drunk, and high off him.

“I'm yours,” I moaned out quietly.

“And… What else?” Terry asked, switching to my other breast.

Pushing my chest up, I wrapped my hands around the back of his head. Fully enthralled in the moment, my grasp on reality slipped.

“I'm… I'm enough. I'm enough,” I rasped almost chanting into the air.

Terry's licks became suckles as one of his hands found a home between my legs.

He moaned as he found pleasure in his own sentiments. “Enough for who?” he asked back in reinforcement.

“For you!” I screamed, feeling myself come undone as two of Terry's fingers pushed into my pussy.

The gasp I let out became trapped in my throat, leaving me choking on air.

“Breathe, ‘Vana. Hey, take a deep breath for me,” Terry pleaded, knitting his eyebrows together in concern.

I swallowed hard and struggled to find air. This was too much. For the first time, I didn't know how to respond or react. The control of my body was no longer in my hands. Terry's voice quickly became the guiding light drawing me to whatever awaited me. Whether that was pleasure, happiness, or a combination of both, I would gratefully accept my fate after wholeheartedly surrendering to his every desire, urge, and craving. I was HIS, and his authority was absolute— there was no doubt about it.

“Look at me. Don't… you… ever… doubt… how much… I… love… you. Understood?” Terry demanded in between kisses as his fingers slowly pumped in and out of me.

“Y-yes. I'm sorry,” I whined, clenching around his fingers.

“All I want you to focus on is breathing. Let me handle everything else,” Terry whispered into my ear.

“Ughh….” I sobbed as tears rolled from the corners of my eyes.

“Baby, I missed you,” he cooed, resting his lips against my chin.

“I… I mi-missed you, too,” I panted breathlessly.

Terry's lips covered mine in a kiss fueled by desire, stealing my breath and filling me with his. A heavenly set of plush full lips left a soft trail of kisses along my chin until they reached the side of my neck. Tongue swiping back and forth over the supple skin. I gasped as I felt his teeth nip on the sensitive area.

Every action led to one conclusion— this was yearning in its purest form. LOVE.

“Talk to me, ‘Vana. I need to hear something,” he whispered into the side of my neck. All while his two fingers were stealing my soul— slowly.

Against my better judgment, I attempted to speak. I whimpered in delirium as my mouth released nothing but haphazard babbles. All poor attempts at speech as words slipped from my recollection. I just hoped, for my sake, that my body could tell Terry what my mouth couldn't.

As I was sinking and falling simultaneously to a place I had never been, a new question arose. Is this what being stripped raw felt like?

Without my permission, Terry had pulled me into a state of vulnerability and surrender. Using only his hands and his tongue, he had left me exposed with nowhere to hide. I was being forced to hand over my heart and soul. I was finding myself with every kiss.

To myself, I was Havana Rose Taylor. A black woman who deserved love in all forms. I was an exquisite piece of art— rare and invaluable. I was flawed yet virtuous, in my own right.

To the man I loved, I was deserving and admirable. I was the world in human form. A woman capable of love— potent and everlasting. I was desirable and alluring in every facet of the terms. I was… HIS.

And most importantly, I was enough— for me and for Terry.

A/N: Remember, I'm open to critiques. I am a little 🤏🏽 sensitive about my writing. Please, don't be too harsh.🥺 Feel free to bring my attention to any typos. Divider by ME (theereina). Also, this work is not to be plagiarized or reposted (on any site other than here on Tumblr). I do NOT give consent for any form of republishing or rewriting.

Taglist: @brattyfics @persethegawd @avoidthings @5headsupremacist @jimmybutlrr @episodes-ff @kimuzostar @insidefeelingofanadult @kirayuki22 @nayaesworld @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @ariiijestertheklown @nayaxwrites @miyuhpapayuh @megamindsecretlair @pocketsizedpanther @gg-trini @vivaalenaa @slutsareteacherstoo @skyesthebomb @blowmymbackout @blackerthings @mymindisneverhere @androgynousgaz @becauseimswagman1 @gwenda-fav @poektiou624 @keyaho @sageispunk @charismablu @4ftwonder @4pfsukuna @writingsbytee @dabratzchronicles @pinkpantheris @honeytoffee @talkswithdesi @helloncrocs @lovey-3 @curvyambitions @iburias @geee3bayyybeee3 @ineedmyaccountback @rebelrel0987 @prettypink-princesss @teeresaresa @dxddykenn @simplyzeeka @theglamclosetsl @melaninadorned

[sergeantbarnessdoll]

Hii! Can I please request a Steve Rogers x shy!fem reader where back in Avengers Age of Ultron, when the Avengers raided that Hydra facility (where they first ran into Wanda and Pietro) Steve, when sweeping through the place before they left, found one cell that was actually still occupied. He found a young woman there, Y/n curled up on the ground of her cell. She wasn’t there willingly, unlike the twins, she had been abducted by Hydra when she was a kid and experimented on her. She developed disintegration powers, so she can make things disintegrate through a projected beam and touch, their plan was to use her like they used Bucky (luckily she hadn’t been sent on any missions when the Avengers got to her). She’s extremely terrified of Steve and jumpy when he approaches her, having most of her experience with other people be the Hydra doctors and agents that poke and prod at her with needles and hurt her. Also Hydra definitely convinced her that the Avengers would hurt her if they ever found her. She’s also a bit scared of her own powers because she doesn’t want to hurt anyone. He’s able to get her to trust him and that he won’t hurt her and she agrees to go with the Avengers back to the compound. She won’t speak to anyone else and is still really scared of the rest of the Avengers, Steve is the only one who can get through to her and get her to open up a bit, they both have clear chemistry and have growing feelings. He’s the only person she’ll let touch her at all, and he’s super understanding that she’s still getting used to communicating with other people 🥺 He’d help her train but she’d rarely go on missions, but imagine she goes with them when they run into Rumlow and she stops the bomb from going off because she disintegrates it before it hit the building (so no Sokovia Accords and no Civil War!). Anyways, Steve is SO proud of her and expresses so when they’re back at the compound, and she abruptly kisses him shhs

(She’s embarrassed until he pulls her back in for a deeper kiss🥰🥹)

Not Going To Hurt You » Steve Rogers/Captain America

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Enhanced!Female Reader with the Avengers

Summary: HYDRA convinces you that the Avengers would hurt you, but Steve assures you that won’t happen.

Warnings: Fluff, Angst (not Steve and you), language, mentions of needles, crying, kissing, pet names

A/N: Thank you for the amazingly detailed request @kpopgirlbtssvt 🩵

Written on my phone. My apologies for any mistakes.

Header made by @buck-star

GIF IS NOT MINE! Gif credit goes to the creator.

Steve somehow managed to get inside of the HYDRA base after taking down the agents who were outside of the building. He cautiously walked around.

“Well, if it isn’t Captain America.” Strucker says.

Steve sighs and turned around. Strucker was standing a few feet.

“Strucker.” Steve says.

“I was wondering when you and the Avengers would come here and try to take us down.” Strucker says.

“I just go where there’s work to be done.” Steve says.

Strucker chuckles before he explains HYDRA’s plan to Steve. Steve was over the conversation when he started talking. That’s when Steve heard something in a room to the right of him. He looked over to the right to see a door with a lock on it.

“Who or what’s behind that door?” Steve asks.

“It’s nothing.” Strucker answers.

Steve narrowed his eyes at him before knocking him out with his shield. He walked over to the door, breaking the lock and the door handle with his shield. He opened the door to see you in the corner of the room, scared and shaking. Your legs were against your chest and your arms were wrapped around your legs.

“Ma’am?” Steve cautiously entered the room. “Are you ok?” He asks.

You looked up to see Steve standing a couple feet away from you. You recognized him as one of the Avengers. HYDRA told you about them. They also told you that they were hurt you.

“Please- Please don’t hurt me!” You say, stuttering out of fear.

“I’m not here to hurt you.” Steve says softly.

Steve crouched down in front of you so he was at eye level with you. You scrambled to move backwards, forgetting that you were already leaning against the wall. He moved backwards a bit, not wanting to scare you any more than you already are.

“Ma’am, it’s ok. Breathe for me.” He says softly.

You stared at Steve for a few seconds before taking deep breaths to get your breathing under control.

“My name is Steve. What’s your name?” He asks.

“Y/N.” You tell him quietly.

“How long have you been here?” He asks.

“Since I was a kid.” You say.

“Did HYDRA do anything to you?” He asks.

Instead of answering him, you extended your arms out to him, showing him the needle marks all over your arms. Steve gently grasped your arms to get a better look at the scars. You yanked your arms away from him out of habit.

“Sorry.” You apologized. “I do that when people touch me.” You say quietly.

“It’s ok. I understand.” He gives you a soft smile. “Will you let me help you?” He asks.

You shook your head no.

“HYDRA said the Avengers will hurt me.” You said.

“No, we won’t. I promise.” He says softly.

You stared at him for a moment. Something is telling you that Steve is trusting. You nodded, agreeing to let him help you. Steve stood up and walked to the door, waiting for you. You stood up from the cold floor and followed him. Steve informed the Avengers to go to the quinjet.

“Take a seat anywhere you want.” Steve says.

You watched Steve go to a different part of the quinjet to get something. You finally sat down after a few seconds. You put your feet on the seat and wrapped your arms around your legs. Steve came back with a blanket and wrapped it around you. You gave him a small smile as a thank you. Even though, Steve assured you that him and the Avengers aren’t going to hurt you, you aren’t ready to have a full conversation with him, which he understands. All of the Avengers got on the quinjet. They stared at you in confusion when they seen you. You avoided eye contact with them. You felt yourself getting smaller under their gaze.

“I didn’t know this turned into a rescue mission.” Tony says.

“I found her and I’m going to help her.” Steve says.

You were quiet during the whole flight to the Avengers compound. When you got to the compound with Steve and the Avengers, you were scared to go inside of the compound. You weren’t sure if it was safe or not. You stopped and stood at the exit of the quinjet, staring inside of the compound. Steve realized you weren’t walking with him and turned around to see you still standing in the quinjet.

“Is this place safe?” You asked in a shaky voice.

“I promise you it’s more than safe.” Steve says softly.

Steve held his hand out for you. You stared at his hand for a few seconds before hesitantly putting your hand in his. You carefully stepped out of the quinjet and Steve led you inside of the compound. Steve took you to a spare bedroom and bathroom for you to get cleaned up and dressed in more comfortable and warmer clothes, which Natasha gave you to wear. Steve came to check on you afterwards. He walked in the bedroom to see you sitting against the headboard with your legs against your chest and your arms wrapped around them.

“Is it ok if I ask you some questions?” Steve asks.

You stared at him silently and nodded your head. He sat down on the bed next to you. You scrambled further away from him out of fear. You mumbled “sorry” to him. He gave you an understanding smile.

“What did HYDRA do to you?” He asks.

“They experimented on me for years and wanted to use me as a weapon. They experimented on me more and never used me as a weapon.” You tell him. “So many needles.” You mumbled to yourself.

“So you have powers?” He asks.

You nodded your head yes.

“What kind of powers do you have?” He asks curiously.

“I can make things disintegrate.” You say.

“What do you mean by they wanted to use you as a weapon?” He asks.

“They wanted to make me like the Winter Soldier.” You tell him. “I never met him though, but they told me a lot about him.” You say.

“I’m sorry you went through all of that. You didn’t deserve any of that. I want to assure you that you’re safe here and we’re not going to hurt you. I completely understand if you’re not ready with trusting any of us yet.” He says.

You nodded and gave him a small smile. Something about Steve is telling you that you can trust him, but you’re not sure yet. You’re willing to give it a try and take it step by step.

“Do you want a tour of the compound?” Steve asks.

You nodded. Steve stood up and walked to the door, opening it. You got off the bed and followed him out of the room. Steve started off with the kitchen and then took you to the gym. You got scared when he showed you the med bay. You stood outside of the med bay, not wanting to go in there cause of the needles and doctors.

“N-No.” You shook your head no.

Your breathing became uneven and your eyes watered. You were scared that Steve was going to take you in the med bay for a different reason. Images of being poked and prodded by HYDRA flashed in your mind.

“Please- Please don’t take me in there.” You say in a shaky voice.

Steve felt bad for showing you the med bay and skipped over it.

“Hey, it’s ok. Breathe for me.” Steve coos. “We won’t go in there. I’ll show you something else.” He says softly.

You nodded and got your breathing under control. You yelped and jumped when Jarvis started talking.

“Captain Rogers, you’re needed in the lounge room.” Jarvis says.

Steve went to the lounge room to see what he was needed for. You followed him. All of the Avengers were in there. They stared at you as you walked in the room. You hid behind Steve to avoid their gazes.

“Jarvis said you guys needed me.” Steve says.

“Yes, but we think it would be better if she wasn’t in here for it.” Natasha says, trying to sound nice as possible.

You frowned. Steve turned around to face you.

“Could you give us a moment please?” Steve asks softly.

You nodded and left the room, going back to your room.

“Why is she even here?” Tony asks.

“She’s here, because I want to help her.” Steve said. “I told you guys that earlier.” He says.

“How can you help her if she doesn’t talk to you?” Natasha asks.

“She talks a little bit. She just has a hard time trusting people. Just give her some time and you guys will see the progress she makes.” He says.

The Avengers sighed and agreed to give you a chance.

Over the next few weeks, you started talking to Steve a little more and began trusting him. Your instincts keep telling you that Steve is a very trusting person. You’re still not sure about trust the rest of the Avengers, but you’re trying to. You don’t talk to them either. When they talk to you, they don’t expect you to answer them. You nod your head and smile when they’re talking to you.

Steve has been helping you train. You’ll only train with him and no one else. He helped you control your powers and helped you use them the right way, instead of using them the way HYDRA told you to use them. He has also showed you a few moves of his own for fun. You rarely go on missions though. If you’re being honest, you like spending time with Steve. He makes training fun.

You also started to have feelings for him. In a way, it feels different to you, because you’ve never felt this way for anyone before you started trusting Steve. For now, you’re going to keep those feelings you have for Steve to yourself.

———

“Where are we again?” You whispered to Steve.

“Lagos. There’s a former HYDRA agent here and he’s going to do something he shouldn’t do.” Steve explains.

“Oh ok.” You say.

You and Steve were hiding out in a building while Sam was on top of the building keeping an eye out and Wanda and Natasha were trying to blend in with everyone else.

“Do you remember the plan?” He asks.

“Find somewhere safe to hide and come out of my hiding place when you say my name.” You say.

“Good.” He smiles and kisses your forehead. “I’ll see you in a bit.” He says.

You blushed when he kisses your forehead. Steve, Sam, Natasha, and Wanda were doing their parts of the mission while you were in your safe hiding spot. You had your head poked out of your hiding spot so you could see what was happening. You seen Steve walking towards a guy who was on the ground. He grabbed his tactical vest, pulling him up from the ground.

“You know he knew you. Your pal, your buddy, your Bucky. I was there.” Brock tells Steve.

Steve’s jaw clenched when Brock mentioned Bucky.

“Y/N!” Steve says loudly.

You came out of your hiding place and ran over to Steve.

“Stay next to me.” He says softly.

You nodded and patiently waited for him to give you orders. Brock had some kind of remote in his hand that was the button to the bomb that was strapped to him. Wanda used her powers to get the bomb off of him and held it in the air.

“Y/N, now!” Steve tells you.

You held your hands up and disintegrated the bomb before it exploded. It went into pieces without an explosion. You smiled to yourself, proud that you were able to use your powers for something good.

You got praised for your amazing work on the way back to the compound. Everyone gave you hugs. It made you feel good.

“You keep training and keep up the amazing work, you might be able to go on more missions.” Steve says.

“Really?” You asked with a smile.

“Yes.” He says with a smile.

Instead of hugging him, you grabbed his face and kissed him. Steve was caught by surprise, but didn’t mind it one bit. It took you a couple seconds to realize that you were kissing him and pulled away. Your face was red with embarrassment.

“I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to do that!” You apologized quickly. “I meant to hug you and then I did that!” You say

“Honestly, I’m happy that you kissed me.” Steve admits.

“Wha-” Steve kissed you before you could get one word out.

You were caught by surprise, but kissed him back. Your hands grasped the fabric of his mission suit, clutching it in your hands. Your lips moved in sync with his. Both of you could feel the love in the kiss. The kiss left both of you breathless when Steve pulled away.

“I like you!” You blurted out.

“I like you too.” Steve smiles.

“You do?” You asked, making sure you heard him right.

“Yes. I have for a while.” He says.

You smiled and pecked his lips softly.

“I want to take you out on a date, but I don’t want to overwhelm you.” He says.

“I don’t mind, but I want to take things slow if that’s ok with you.” You say.

“That’s more than ok with me.” He almost whispers. “Do you want to go on a date this weekend?” He asks.

“I would love that.” You say with a smile.

Steve smiles and pecked your lips softly.

“Let get cleaned up, changed, and we can talk about where we should go on our date.” Steve says softly with a smile.

“Sounds like a plan.” You smiled back.

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

-Bucky’s Doll

[girlsdads]

hi karri! how are you doing? with absolute zero pressure I just wanted to tell you that I was thinking about 💦🚽fic this morning, so I went back to reread the snippets and found out I am just as obsessed with it today as I was months ago. No matter if it ever gets finished or not, thank you for sharing what you did!

ahhhh it really means the world to me that there are people out there thinking about my writing, truly one of the few things that have been keeping me going recently so thank you so much for the lovely comments 😭🥺 i have been having a rough several months honestly, but things are looking up now and i've actually had the mental energy to write a few sentences over the past week or so.... not a ton but it's a start 😂

here's a little more for you, as a treat 🫶 i might have posted some of this before, but the few bits at the end are recently penned 🫡

Back in the bedroom, Max is just as Daniel left him--hands and knees, shaking like a fucking leaf. His little cock is hanging mostly soft within the frame of his plush thighs, aimed down toward a new wet patch on the sheet like an arrow pointing to all of Daniel’s sickest desires. He stands there in the doorway and watches, stunned, as another spurt of piss leaks from Max’s flushed tip, adding to the puddle on the bed. Max is heaving breaths that sound almost painful. Daniel’s cock throbs so hard he nearly falls over. 

“Daniel, it’s--I can’t--” Max’s voice warbles, then breaks off in a sob. 

“I’m here, baby, I’m here,” Daniel croaks, carefully climbing onto the bed behind Max, trying not to jostle him too much. He strokes Max’s hip with his free hand, hoping to ground them both. “Can you kneel up for me?” 

Max whines, but does, unfolding himself slowly and stiffly while Daniel winds an arm around his torso. Daniel knee-shuffles closer, has a millisecond of uncertainty before--fuck it, he’s already said he’s into it--pressing his re-invigorated boner to the small of Max’s back.  Max’s skin is fever-hot and so soft against him; it’s with Herculean effort Daniel doesn’t just rub himself off like that, let Max piss all over the bed while Daniel dirties him up from behind. Another time, perhaps. A shivery thrill shoots up his spine at the thought. 

Daniel sets the trophy down in front of Max. 

“Daniel, what--’’

“It’s, uh. You can--use this.” Daniel’s tongue feels like it might crumble to dust inside his mouth. “I’ll clean it after.”

“Use it?” Max sounds like he’s going to start hyperventilating. “Like. Use it like--”

Fuck. Max has to know what Daniel means. There’s no way he doesn’t know. He wants me to say it. Fuck--Daniel’s going to burn alive. He presses his lips to the petal-soft skin of Max’s ear, feels the peach fuzz there as he whispers, “Like a toilet, Max.”

Max gasps, a guttural sound like his vocal cords have shredded themselves making it. His hands fly up from where he’d been squeezing the base of his cock to grip Daniel’s forearm across his chest. Daniel can feel the blunt indents of his neatly trimmed fingernails. He watches over Max’s shoulder as his cock twitches like it’s been hit with an electric charge. Daniel pictures his dick hooked up to a bunch of wires and electrodes, Frankenstein-style. He’s aliiive, Maxy. 

Daniel isn’t entirely certain he didn’t say that last bit out loud, hears Max hiccup a small giggle before he heaves a sigh that seems to melt him, finally--blessedly.  Daniel has the wherewithal to wrap his free hand around Max’s cock, aiming him squarely at the trophy’s welcoming maw just as Max’s bladder lets go.

[writing-for-marvel]

I’m back on the hurt train ready to get absolutely railed again

I’m pretty sure I said this in my first read of the chapter but the fact that your amazing mind chose to start and end this chapter, a fic about time loops, in flashbacks is actually genius

There was something almost like bemusement that appeared in the curl of Natasha’s lip, but she didn’t kick you out, which you took as a sign that your little outburst might have been closer to the truth than you’d really expected. You leaned back ever so slightly.

Oh this just feels so Nat, you’re characterisation feels so spot on, even down to the detail of her just needing to stare reader down and reader just keeps rambling like shes justifying herself

Then, without warning, she threw her glass at you.

You obviously can’t see me but I literally flinched out of the way reading this like it was me she had done this to 😂 but I love this scene with Nat so much, it’s such a *her* thing to do, the details are just perfect

“Yeah, I’m not gonna be able to do that,” you said flatly.

Literally took the words out of my mouth

So it appears you’ve gotten yourself stuck in some macabre version of Groundhog Day. Alright. Cool cool cool. You can work with that, probably. Maybe.

I love the inner monologue you have written, it’s honestly so refreshing and actually hilarious

It’s moments like these that make you miss Nat the most.

Stop it we can’t have more death and grief than we do already please

There was something about that woman that made everyone around her open up, whether they wanted to or not.

Literally flash back to what I said before about reader just rambling under her stare without her saying a single word

“Buck?” He huffs, even though he continues to wear his usual exasperated expression. “Did Sam hit you in the head?”

You raise your eyebrows in fake surprise. It’s so easy to fall back into your usual bickering, even with everything that’s going on. “You’re right, I don’t. Your cat probably got into my room again and let out her past week’s aggressions.”

“See, that’s exactly what she wants you to think.”

Eeeee they make me giddy 🥰🥰🥰

“Nope. This is my spot, too.”

“Great,” you sigh, angling yourself away from him. “I’ll be sure to make a reservation next time.”

I’m literally just giggling and kicking my feet every time they interact

“Try the floor,” Bucky says as you’re almost out of the room. He doesn’t turn when you do, but he seems to feel your questioning gaze. “If you can’t sleep. It helps, sometimes.”

Oh my baby 😭 just the thought of him sleeping on the floor for comfort actually hurts my soul

With a sigh, you get settled on the floor, staring up at the ceiling until your eyes get too tired.

Oh she takes his advice 🥺🥺🥺

When you see your own body still lying in bed next to where you’re standing, you almost trip over your own feet.

See I knew this was coming this time and yet it still felt like a shock to the system!!!

It’s one of your favorite comfort novels. You take good care of your books for the most part, but this one is quite battered; you’ve been bringing it with you on missions for years. A bit of home that fits into your pocket and helps calming you down on countless quinjet rides better than pictures ever could.

If someone comes into my room and insults one of my favourite books you can best believe I am finally learning to throw a punch and clock them in the jaw

“It happened because you activated the time stone,” Strange sneers. “Your powers are a lot stronger than you even care to realize, and it was idiotic to keep them a secret.”

She cares so much about Bucky that she’s activated the time stone??? Nika your mind wtf 🤯🤯🤯

He must have hit his head on the side of the big table, but the shield had protected him from the sharp edge. He’s pressing a hand to his wound and he’s conscious and fine. He’s fine.

I’m just sat here waiting with bated breath for this whole sequence

You fling your knife as fast as you can, but his single moment of hesitation was long enough for the trigger to be pulled a second time. You turn just in time to see the realization on Bucky’s face, the shock and panic in his eyes as they meet yours.

You’re telling me he dies in every rendition of this god damn day Nika it’s too painfulllllllll

Bucky figuring out that somethings wrong 😭😭 they barely spend any time together and yet he’s already worked her out 😭😭 don’t mind me imma just sob over here

Things were finally starting to look up.

Right just the kick to the gut I needed at the end of this torture (affectionate; I love it)

Nika I love it, I am after two chapters already pulling my hair out every time we have to see Bucky die, but the story itself is exceptional!!

Your writing style is absolutely gorgeous, I always feel so present in the moment with all of their conversations, all the characters feel so *real*, I adore them all

And I honestly can’t say enough about the magic system in place and readers powers, like I’m bewildered by how your gorgeous mind came to that. I can’t wait to dive more into it and learn the backstory behind it all

time after time [2]

series summary: After what starts out as a fairly normal mission, you find yourself stuck in a time loop. Which would already be bad enough in itself if it didn’t also mean having to watch Bucky die over and over again.

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

word count: 8.2k

chapter warnings: canon-typical violence, the angst continues, another reminder to read the fic premise; a couple of guest appearances; flashbacks are my establishing shots and i’m going to make it everyone’s problem

please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.

a/n: 2am updates are kind of my brand at this point. big shout-out to @barnesafterglow who read a good chunk of this yesterday and is still talking to me <3 thank you all for your patience and your love for chapter one!!

series masterlist | main masterlist | read on ao3

two: twice upon a time

The first time you met Natasha Romanoff in person, a few weeks after the Snap, she only had to look at you for a couple of seconds to be able to read you like a book.

They’d compiled a file, of course, filled with all the general academic credits and official family information that was still available to the public and definitely more than a few things you’d tried to bury, too. Even then, the folder was reassuringly slim.

She’d have to take you at your word about what you’d come to offer her, anyway.

“And why would we want to have you?” she asked. As if she were interviewing you for a job. Which, technically speaking, she was.

You were on edge and Natasha knew it, even though you tried to hide your ever twitching fingers in your lap under the table, picking at the skin around your nails until you felt it break. You took a deep breath.

“Look, I know that I’m not exactly a soldier, or a—a superhero type, but I … I don’t know, I would just like to use my … thing to do good, for once. You know, stuff that will help people.”

And do it on your own terms. It stayed unsaid, then. You didn’t admit that part until much later.

Natasha’s face stayed perfectly neutral through your rambling, and you weren’t sure whether that was calming you down or making you more anxious. You reached for your necklace, tugging at the chain.

“But I can’t really do that on my own,” you continued, “and you, well, all of you, you’ve done it for a while and you’re good at it. And I think I could help with that.”

She still didn’t say anything, just kept waiting while you sat awkwardly in that uncomfortable office chair, regretting your decision of ever following through with your crazy impulsive idea of coming here.

But where else would you have gone?

“Also,” you remarked in a sudden burst of boldness, “I think you could use every extra pair of hands you can get at the moment.”

There was something almost like bemusement that appeared in the curl of Natasha’s lip, but she didn’t kick you out, which you took as a sign that your little outburst might have been closer to the truth than you’d really expected. You leaned back ever so slightly.

You couldn’t be sure, then, if she’d pieced together what little information they’d had on you in your file or if she’d just figured you out while you were sitting in this office, but it didn’t make all that much of a difference. She didn’t have to ask why you’d decided to offer up your abilities to the Avengers now, after everything, when they’d been hidden away for most of your life.

“You’re lonely. And you need a purpose, like all of us,” she said, looking you up and down apprehensively.

Then, without warning, she threw her glass at you.

You flinched to the side and it shattered on the wall behind you. The leftover drink slowly sank into the carpet as you turned to stare at her in shock.

Natasha lifted one of her perfectly trimmed eyebrows. “You wanna try that again?”

Really, you should’ve expected the test.

You closed your eyes and raised your hands.

It’s a strange experience, going back in time. No one had really asked you to describe what it was like, and you probably couldn’t have if you tried. It felt a little like retracing your own steps in your head, relocating your conscience to an earlier moment, second by second, in a rapid backwards motion. Like very vivid remembering. Only, it’s not just that.

“You’re lonely,” Natasha said, swirling the dregs of her glass, her green eyes tracing over you. “And you need a purpose, like all of us.”

You were expecting it this time, but the glass still slipped through your fingers and broke into tiny shards on the floor. Not good enough. You didn’t wait for her reaction this time, cursing under your breath and pulling yourself back again. As always, it took considerably more effort.

You tried your best not to stare at the glass while Natasha spoke, but you didn’t really listen anymore. This time, you caught it, even though its contents spilled over your hand.

Natasha smirked. “Not bad. First try?”

“This is when I lie to sound capable, right?” You shook the liquid off your fingers, sure she’d already noticed the sweat on your temples. No use in lying to a spy, anyway, you supposed, so you admitted, “Third.”

“We’ll work on that. But honesty’s a good start.” She held out her hand and you returned the glass. “Have you ever done combat training?”

You could barely stifle a nervous laugh. “Do I look like I’ve ever done combat training?”

“I don’t tend to judge people based on how they appear,” Natasha said, uncrossing her legs. “Come with me.”

You followed her back out of the office into the wide, empty hallway. You hadn’t seen anyone else around on the whole Compound, even though it could probably house hundreds of people on the ground floor alone. The clacking sound of your steps on the tiled floor seemed to echo all around you.

It felt like you were announcing yourself to everyone within a two-mile radius while Natasha moved around on her bare feet without a single sound.

A glass elevator took you down to the subterranean level of the building. Once the doors slid open, Natasha marched straight to a double door with square windows and large metal handlebars.

“Leave your shoes and bag by the door,” she told you. She waited for you to untie your laces and awkwardly wiggle out of your boots before she let you both in.

The Compound gym was even bigger than you’d expected. You weren’t sure if you were more surprised by that revelation or by the presence of a certain super soldier kicking the life out of a punching bag on the other side of the hall.

“Hey Rogers,” Natasha shouted as it got smacked to the ground. “Brought a new recruit!”

“Really?” he called back, unwrapping the bandages around his knuckles.

“Really?” you said. Sure, that was what you came here for, but even so, you were a little shocked it had been that simple.

“Like you said, we’re a little desperate at the moment,” she winked.

“I didn’t say that,” you muttered anxiously as Captain America jogged over to join you, a towel thrown over his shoulder. Despite his workout, he hadn’t even broken a sweat.

“Steve Rogers,” he said, holding out his hand with a smile.

You shook it, slightly bewildered, and introduced yourself. He repeated your name back at you and you had to take a moment to think how strange this whole situation was, even in all the madness that’d been going on. How unreal.

“I’m sure it’ll be good to have ya,” he said, and you almost laughed at the absurdity of it all. Thankfully, you caught yourself in time.

Meanwhile, Natasha had dragged one of the thick foam mats away from the heavy equipment and rolled it out. Cracking her neck, she stepped onto it and pushed her hair out of her face.

“Okay. Show me how you’d throw a punch.”

She held out her hands flat in front of her and nodded her head for you to join her on the mat. You’d never felt so stupid in your life as you tried to rack your brains for whatever little you took from those self-defense lessons however long ago. At least Captain Goddamn America seemed to be politely ignoring you in favor of putting some weights away.

“Just move on instinct, you’re not getting graded,” Natasha said calmly.

Your instincts were telling you you were absolutely getting graded and this was your worst idea to date, but you tried your best. She had you aim at different heights a few times before she stopped you.

“Okay, your posture’s terrible. You have to straighten your back and bend your knees more, see?” She demonstrated the right stance, waiting for you to copy her. “There you go. That’s your standard pose.”

“Alright,” you said, testing it out with a little bounce. “And what do I do with that?”

“Depends on what you’re trying to do. With the right training, you can use your own weight to your advantage in a fight. Steve?”

“Oh, great, am I volunteering?” He joined you on the mat and you moved to give the two of them enough space.

“You love it. Now watch me,” she added, looking at you.

Before Steve could even properly raise up his arms, Natasha launched into a handflip and somehow managed to wrap her legs around his body. The sudden movement made him stumble backwards. He lurched his body forwards to get her off his shoulders, but she used the momentum of her fall to kick him off his feet onto the mat. She gracefully landed on all fours like a cat. It looked effortless.

“You’re right,” Steve groaned, “this is very fun for me.”

“Yeah, I’m not gonna be able to do that,” you said flatly.

“I don’t expect you to,” Natasha said, pulling her hair behind her ears again. “But you do have to be able to survive in a fight, even without your powers, if you want to join the team. We can’t babysit you.”

You pressed your lips together, slowly curling your hands into fists and opening them again.

“Alright,” you said, your voice strangely dry. “When do we start?”

*****

Your initial reaction is relief.

Relief, because it’s Friday again, which means nothing has actually happened, which means Bucky is still alive.

Then, the implications of that fact hit you all at once.

You must’ve blacked out for a second or two, because when you open your eyes again, you’re lying on the floor next to your bed, heart still pounding a mile an hour. Your breath comes out in short gasps, and you force it to slow just in time for the knock on the door.

“Rise and shine, McFly! Time to get your ass kicked!”

“Just gimme a minute!” you shout back and stumble to the bathroom.

Your hands and face are speckled with blood and you wash it off furiously, biting your lip as the tiny cuts on your skin left by the glass shards burn under your touch. Turning off the faucet, you keep leaning onto the basin and stare at your hands.

You’re not sure what you expected. Your rings are still the blackest you’ve ever seen them, and the dimly glowing symbols keep slowly circling around your wrist. It doesn’t take you long to put two and two together, because once is a coincidence, a strange, fateful accident, but twice is a pattern. And of course you’ve heard about this kind of thing happening. Only not like this.

Life everlasting.

No. Definitely not like this.

So it appears you’ve gotten yourself stuck in some macabre version of Groundhog Day. Alright. Cool cool cool. You can work with that, probably. Maybe.

“Did you get lost in there?” Sam remarks with a grin when you finally step out of your room, still looking slightly disheveled.

“I—” You stop yourself, blinking at him until he starts looking slightly concerned.

“You alright? You look …” His eyebrows raise even higher. “Shell-shocked.”

Well, this isn’t exactly an everyday occurence even for me, Samuel, you want to tell him. Instead, you say, “Don’t ever wake me up like that again.” It lacks yesterday’s punch.

“Sweet white teenage angst not your style?”

You hum, but don’t reply otherwise, still lost in thought as you climb the stairs, trying to assess your situation and come up with some sort of plan.

It’s fairly obvious you fucked up your reset the other day. So much for the precious space-time continuum; oh, you hate it when the wizard people are right every now and then.

You glance sideways at Sam while he stretches his back in the ring. He seems fine, completely normal, unaware of what’s going on with you, and of course he would be. Nothing unusual about that part of your powers. Or what’s left of them.

You raise your hands experimentally.

“I’m not high-fiving you until you get one kick in, at least.”

Not even the slightest hitch. It’s like your powers have just up and left you completely. A strange heaviness settles in your stomach. Fucking useless.

You avert your burning eyes from Sam’s gaze.

It’s not like you … talk.

None of you do, not really. Sure, you chat. You’re great at chatting. You’ve had years, countless tries of perfecting smalltalk, of knowing the things you can get away with saying to certain people. It’s made you reckless in the past, knowing you could probably replay entire conversations in the blink of an eye, the pressure of expectation gone completely.

Ever since you started coming out of hiding again, though, the fun has drizzled out of that more and more. It’s one thing to impress strangers and another to be several steps ahead of the people you’ve started to consider your friends.

Because even though sometimes it sure would be easier, having people un-live conversations they’ve had with you, particularly hard or emotional ones, is sort of a shitty move if you continue to spend your time around them afterwards. And you’ve grown determined to not intentionally hurt people with your powers. Not anymore.

So yes, you chat. You know Sam’s favorite color and the video games his nephews want for their birthdays. You know what kind of music Bucky listens to, mostly because he forgets to turn on the soundproofing in his room and Jazz trumpets are surprisingly loud. You know their habits, the foods they like, the movies they hate.

But you don’t … share. Nothing that goes deeper than the general stuff.

It’s moments like these that make you miss Nat the most.

There was something about that woman that made everyone around her open up, whether they wanted to or not. You’re almost resolved to call her as soon as you get back to your room before you remember.

You’re gonna have to do this on your own. Back to square one.

“What is up with you today?”

“I’m fine,” you grunt, but make no effort to get back up again. “Didn’t sleep well. Ow.” You narrow your eyes at Sam. “Did you just kick me?”

“I wanted to see if you’re still alive.”

“Horrible. I’m quitting. You can go spar with Bucky again.”

“At least he puts up a fight.” Sam crouches down next to you. “Anything you wanna tell me?”

Yes. You shake your head. He probably wouldn’t believe you, anyway.

“Alright,” he says, clapping you on the shoulder. You scrunch your nose. “I’m gonna hit the showers. But we’re doing a rain check for tomorrow, and you sort out your pea under the mattress situation.”

“Okay.”

You listen to Sam’s receding steps and the sound of the door opening and closing again. Then, there’s nothing but silence and the ticking of the clock on the far wall.

Even though you know you should probably just head out as well, you can’t help but linger again. Just in case.

“You look like shit.”

Your head rolls to the side. Fuck you, Barnes. “Hey, Buck.”

Same spot on the bench next to the ring, same hunched over position, same concentrated look on his face while he cleans up the shimmering golden nooks in his arm.

“Buck?” He huffs, even though he continues to wear his usual exasperated expression. “Did Sam hit you in the head?”

You don’t answer, just keep staring at his profile for a little while longer. Your eyes are drawn to the nape of his neck, to the center of his chest. You bite the inside of your cheek so hard it hurts.

“What’re you lookin’ at?” Bucky says lowly. You turn your gaze back to the ceiling.

“Nothing,” you answer, pulling an arm over your eyes. The sweatband rubs against your eyebrow.

Maybe, you think, just maybe, it could still be a fluke. Only one more time to get things right, and then all will just go back to normal. Maybe you’ll be fine today. He’ll be fine.

There’s a buzzing in your ears, and you’re not sure if it comes from the green symbols gyrating around your arm or if you’re just imagining it altogether.

“What happened to your face?” Bucky asks unexpectedly, casually, as if he were talking about the weather.

“What do you mean?”

“You look like you dove head-first into a rose bush.”

“Hah.” You slowly sit up, your muscles aching for a hot shower. Three days of training and fighting in a row are not agreeing with your body. “Must’ve scratched myself in my sleep.”

If he sees through your lie, he doesn’t call you out on it. “Didn’t know you have talons.”

You raise your eyebrows in fake surprise. It’s so easy to fall back into your usual bickering, even with everything that’s going on. “You’re right, I don’t. Your cat probably got into my room again and let out her past week’s aggressions.”

“My cat slept soundly, thank you very much,” Bucky says dryly.

“See, that’s exactly what she wants you to think.”

“Funny.” He stands up, hanging the piece of cloth over the side of the boxing ring to air out. “Take the towel on the right, I already used the other one.”

“Thanks, Buck,” you say with a smirk. He ignores you.

***

The shower is what brings your mood back down again. In the silence of the water hitting your back, there’s enough time for you to think about the upcoming day that you’ve already been through twice.

Up until the mission, it’s gone by fine, unremarkably so, which only makes the build-up to the evening even worse, in your opinion. You face the stream of hot water directly, trying to rid yourself of the image of Bucky lying on the floor, bleeding out in front of you.

You need to be rational about this.

First, you need to figure out what’s going on with your powers. Then, you have to make up your mind about lunch, because while you don’t exactly resent the thought of your third pizza in as many days, your stomach sadly doesn’t agree with that notion. And finally, you’re going to break this damn cycle you’re in. Easy as that.

You turn off the shower with your newfound resolve and grab the clean towel.

Your determination lasts up until you get back to your room and realize you don’t actually know how you are going to fix your powers. They’ve always been somewhat fickle, unpredictable even to you, acting up whenever it’s most inconvenient. Impossible.

No one has ever been able to tell you where they came from, nor how you could properly control them. Everything you know you had to figure out through trial and error, replaying the same scenario over and over again, and, more often than not, lucky coincidences.

Usually, when your rings are black and your powers are weakened, it helps to let your body regain its strength first. In other words, you need to sleep.

This is something you probably should have thought through before getting your morning coffee with an extra shot of espresso, out of habit, but that’s not something you can change right now.

The living room area wouldn’t usually be your first choice for a midday nap, but you’re not ready to face the bloodstains on your bedding quite yet, so you’ll have to make do with one of the suspiciously IKEA-looking throw pillows on the couch. The TV is chattering away in the background, just loud enough to somewhat distract you from your own thoughts.

It’s not enough to fall asleep, though.

You keep tossing and turning, half-listening to three or four episodes of some nineties sitcom, while your anxiety gnaws away at your insides. There’s a constant low pounding in your head that drives you up the wall, and again you swear you can hear the symbols looping around your wrist. You keep scratching at your sweatband, but it’s no use.

You don’t know how much time has passed before the pattering of small paws makes you sigh in disdain.

There’s an obnoxiously loud meowing close to your feet, followed by a sudden weight dropping on your stomach that almost invites your garlic bread back up for a double feature. You peer out at the white shape on top of you, innocently toying with the hem of your shirt.

In general, you like cats just fine, but something about Alpine has always unsettled you. Sure, she’s a cute-looking ball of fluff, but she’s also quick to scratch unsuspecting people bending down to pet her, and she seems to have a particular bone to pick with you.

“Maybe she’s just a good judge of character,” Sam jokes whenever you complain about it.

“She doesn’t like you any better.”

“Yeah, but I’m allergic to her,” Sam shrugs. “The farther she stays away, the more a favor it’s doing me.”

In truth, the only person Alpine likes is Bucky, and she loves to show it every chance she gets.

“You’re in her spot.”

Alpine graciously allows you to push up to your elbows with a groan. Bucky’s tall figure is looming over your head; there’s a bemused expression on his face. He must’ve just walked in through the door, because he’s still wearing his jacket.

“Why does the cat need a spot on the couch, exactly?” You try to shoo her off your lap, but Alpine digs her claws deeper into your shorts and you wince. “You really need to teach her manners.”

“You gotta be gentle with her,” Bucky says, pulling her off you without a hitch. “Move over.”

You swing your legs off the couch with a roll of your eyes. “Can’t you sit somewhere else?”

“Nope. This is my spot, too.”

“Great,” you sigh, angling yourself away from him. “I’ll be sure to make a reservation next time.”

Alpine starts purring as Bucky scratches her under the chin. “You watchin’ that?”

“I was trying to nap,” you mumble, throwing him the remote with a little more force than necessary. “What time is it, anyway?”

“Thirteen twelve hours.”

“Please stop just saying numbers when I ask you that.”

Bucky smirks again and switches channels. “Quarter past one-ish.”

You blink at him tiredly, surprised to find out he’s been back so early. The past two days, you didn’t see him around again until the broadcast was about to start. Then again, you didn’t really pay attention at that point, either.

There’s that tick in his jaw that he always gets when something is bothering him, even as he’s distracted by a playful cat in his lap. You’d better relieve him of the burden of your presence.

“Well,” you say, standing up. Alpine whines indignantly at the sudden movement. “I’ll try to find a cat-free spot in this tower, then.”

“Try the floor,” Bucky says as you’re almost out of the room. He doesn’t turn when you do, but he seems to feel your questioning gaze. “If you can’t sleep. It helps, sometimes.”

You hide your hands in your pants pockets, even though it’s far too late by now. He’s already noticed your black rings.

With a short hum, you briskly walk back to your room, leaning against the door as it closes behind you. This is getting ridiculous, you think, worrying the ring on your pinkie finger with your thumb. As if you didn’t have enough reasons to get a hold of your powers again; you don’t know what you would do if Bucky really got suspicious of you now.

Taking a deep breath, you eye your bed. Compared to yesterday, the blood stains on your sheets are barely more than a few specks, because you weren’t as close to Bucky when it happened. Somehow, that doesn’t make you feel any better.

“Fine,” you mutter in annoyance, grabbing one of your pillows and throwing it on the floor next to your bed. “FRIDAY, can you wake me in time for Sam’s speech?”

“Of course,” FRIDAY tells you. “Do you want me to use the same song as this morning?”

“Please don’t.” A little idea pipes up at the back of your head. “Do you have any record of playing that song before?”

“Last dates played. Friday, July 4th 2025, 07:50 a.m. Playtime: forty-five seconds. Thursday, March 13th 2014, 02:49 a.m. Playtime: one hour, twenty-seven minutes, eighteen seconds. End of record.”

Interesting night for Tony, then, but not exactly telling when it comes to your time loop situation. With a sigh, you get settled on the floor, staring up at the ceiling until your eyes get too tired.

You’ll think of something once you’ve had a bit of sleep. He’ll be fine.

And then, just as you’re finally about to drift off, you feel a sudden jolt go through you. It’s a bizarre sensation, like you’re falling and jumping at the same time, but your body isn’t actually moving with you. Like someone pulling at your very consciousness.

Your eyes fly open and you gasp for air.

You’re still in your room, which should be good news, but everything looks … weird. Not as out of focus as it would be if you were simply dreaming, but somehow crooked, the angles unusually pronounced. The colors are all off, the lights way lower than they should be this time of day, and when you reach out for the edge of your bed, your hands—

You take a sharp breath. Your fingers are bare, no trace of your rings anywhere, and even worse, your hands are partly transparent. Cautiously, you get up on your equally as see-through legs and turn around.

When you see your own body still lying in bed next to where you’re standing, you almost trip over your own feet.

You stare at yourself in disbelief. One of your body’s hands is tucked under the pillow, and it’s breathing regularly. Carefully, you take a step closer and reach out your noncorporeal hand. Your shoulder feels warm and solid underneath your fingertips.

Your body wrinkles its nose in its sleep and you jerk back again, losing your balance and falling to the floor. Your body doesn’t react at all, even though you pull part of the blanket with you as you go down.

“Okay. This is a dream,” you tell yourself, even though you feel your heart pounding. “Just some weird-ass dream, and I have to wake up.” Again, you can’t help but look at the sleeping body lying in your bed.

You press your hands over your eyes, willing yourself to slow your breathing. The edge of your nightstand jabs you painfully between the shoulder blades, too real to be nothing more than an act of your imagination.

“You’re not what I expected.”

The man’s voice makes you flinch slightly. Slowly, you peek through your fingers.

You either didn’t notice him while you were taking in your surroundings or he’s just blended in with them seamlessly, although you’re not sure how that last one could even be a possibility. His back is turned to you, his frame covered by a long, deep red cloak with intricate patterns stitched along the seams. He’s perusing your bookshelf, picking up old copies seemingly at random.

For some reason, your shock at the sight of him is outweighed by immediate irritation. Something about the man instantly irks you.

“Thanks, I think,” you tell him, throwing the edge of the blanket over your sleeping body again as you get up, never letting the man out of your sight.

He turns around, one of his eyebrows raised. Your eyes immediately fall on the amulet around his neck and your heart gives a stutter. You ignore it.

“Not a compliment.” He holds up a book. “This is how you spend your time, then?”

It’s one of your favorite comfort novels. You take good care of your books for the most part, but this one is quite battered; you’ve been bringing it with you on missions for years. A bit of home that fits into your pocket and helps calming you down on countless quinjet rides better than pictures ever could.

“Sue me for trying to relax in between saving the world,” you say, crossing your arms.

“Of course,” the man says wryly. “Because god forbid you use those powers of yours to their full extent, we wouldn’t want that.”

“And what’s it to you?” you snap.

The man calmly puts the book down again; not where he picked it up from, you notice in annoyance.

“My name is Doctor Stephen Strange,” he says, watching your face for your reaction. “Ah, so you have heard of me.”

Of course you have. You know who he is, you must’ve seen his picture hundreds of times during the Blip, and even before that, you’d heard about his reputation. As one of the keepers of the time stone back when it still existed, he’s on your list of people you least want to see, ever.

You narrow your eyes at him. “How did you find me? What—” You take a quick look back at your own sleeping form. “What is this place?”

“The astral plane,” he says, swiping your bookshelf for dust and inspecting his fingertips contemptuously. They’re shaking ever so slightly. “Something you would know if you hadn’t spent the past decade avoiding every single chance to use your powers responsibly.”

“Wow,” you huff. “You don’t know anything about me or about my powers.”

“Don’t I, Y/N Y/L/N?” Strange’s cloak flaps slightly as if it were shrugging.

“I spent the last couple of years trying to save lives.”

“You’re riding on luck and pretend it’s control. You have no idea what this could do to the grand scheme of things.”

“Well, I never asked for these powers, okay?” you say defensively. “I just have them. What I don’t have is any interest in being a pawn in some grand scheme of things when I never wanted any of this.”

“People don’t generally get a choice in that matter.” His gaze drops to your wrist. “And now look where your resistance to accept your responsibilities got you.”

The green band of symbols is still leisurely circling around your arm. You bite your tongue. “I don’t know how that happened,” you say, your voice breaking slightly on the last word.

“It happened because you activated the time stone,” Strange sneers. “Your powers are a lot stronger than you even care to realize, and it was idiotic to keep them a secret.”

“Why, so you could use them for your own gain?”

“So I could prevent this exact kind of thing from happening.”

You throw your hands in the air in frustration. “So end it, then. Or did you drag me here just to berate me?”

Strange chuckles humorlessly. “This is not something others can just fix for you, Miss Y/L/N. You cast a very powerful spell in creating this loop, and you are the only one who can lift it again.”

“Great. I’m screwed, then, is that what you’re saying?” You might not be inside of your body at the moment, but you can still feel your cheeks heating up. “I want you to leave me the fuck alone.”

“You need to calm down,” Stange says sharply.

“Don’t tell me to calm down, get out of my—head, or whatever this is. Get out!”

“Alright then. Continue to play stubborn. See how far it gets you.” He holds out his right hand and there’s a crack in the air behind him; almost like a doorway, or a mirror. “I’ll be here when you’re done acting like a child.”

You come to on your bedroom floor, feeling almost more tired than you did when you laid down earlier. It takes your bleary eyes a moment to adjust to your surroundings again. When you sit up, a thin throw blanket that you don’t remember pulling over your shoulders falls into your lap.

This really is just a whole bunch of disasters stacked on top of each other.

You don’t even have to look at your rings to know there’s still not the slightest green spec in sight. Your fingers find your necklace and you tug slightly to reassure yourself of its presence. How the hell did Strange even find you?

There’s no time to think about it for too long, because once again, there’s a knock at your bedroom door.

“We got a lead on that lab,” Sam shouts on the other side. “Jet’s leaving in half an hour, get ready.”

You blink at the clock on your wall in confusion. Even though you feel like you only spent a couple of minutes in this other dimension you were dragged into, several hours have passed in this one.

Time is seriously out of your hands, and it’s only getting worse.

***

“Don’t you think that maybe they have an alarm set or something?” you say, contemplating the explosives laid out in front of you.

Sam raises his eyebrows, adjusting the intercom chip in his ear. “Is that a hunch or are you telling me?”

“Both.” You flex your fingers. “It’s just that announcing ourselves probably isn’t in our best interest right now.”

“And you couldn’t have said that earlier? As in, before we landed?” Sam sighs.

Bucky snorts as you shrug your shoulders helplessly. Your body desperately needed the half hour of uneasy sleep the flight has afforded it, even though your powers seem to be unimpressed by it.

“Look, it’s gonna be fine,” Sam continues, squeezing your arm. “We’ve handled worse. Besides, if they do have an alarm set, they’re gonna come to us whether we knock down that wall or not.”

“I guess,” you mumble, grabbing the explosives. “Let’s play knock-knock with terrorists then, that oughtta be fun.”

“Reminds me of ‘44,” Bucky says, more to himself than to either of you.

When you follow Sam down the hallway once again, you can’t help but search for the cameras you know are hidden here somewhere, but it’s impossible to tell in the dingy light. You should bring a stronger flashlight next ti—no.

You blink, stopping that thought before it’s fully formed.

There won’t be a next time. This thing ends tonight, once and for all.

Third time’s the charm, right?

About as charming as a kick to the face, you think as you find yourself delivering just that.

Sam takes off. “We better get moving. If you take care of the drive and these idiots, I’ll clear the tunnels for a way out of here!”

Bucky catches Sam’s shield as you disarm the white jacket with the knife and duck as the shots ring out. You’re sweating in your kevlar vest.

“Two o’clock, Bucky,” you tell him, throwing another punch. You’re so sick of this white-coated asshole in particular; it’s like they think you’re in the rumble from West Side Story. “And whatever you do, don’t throw that shield, alright?”

“You’re bossy today,” Bucky huffs, taking out the one with the blaster.

“I think you mean thorough,” you reply as Riff finally goes out cold.

“You tell yourself that.” He reloads his gun instead, shield firmly locked around his right arm. “How much longer for the transfer?”

You glance at the monitors and try to remember. “About a minute, maybe two.”

“Sam, you copy?” The last white jacket goes down.

“Ready for take-off in five,” Sam confirms cheerfully. “Heads-up, there’s at least another dozen heading your way.”

“Got it.” Bucky bumps your shoulder as he starts back towards the computers, leaving you only a second to process the different turnout of events.

Shouldn’t he insist on leaving?

The only thing that differentiates this mission from the first one is that you haven’t had to jump back to know what to look out for, and therefore don’t suffer the immediate side effects a redo usually has on you. You suppose that’s what they initially expected your powers to be like; flawless, useful, magical.

It’s like a slap in the face, even though Bucky doesn’t realize he’s doing it. The fact that he really does think lesser of you because of your stupid, faulty powers stings more than you care to admit.

You shake yourself back to the present moment. “Take the drive and then get away from there!” you shout, trying to catch up with him. Your lungs are burning. “They’re gonna blow up the—”

The blast of the explosion throws you backwards and you land on one of the unconscious bodies on the ground. Coughing, you roll to your hands and knees.

“Wha—ppening?” Sam’s cut off voice comes through the broken comms.

“Bucky?” You stumble towards the flaming mess that was the lab corner.

He must have hit his head on the side of the big table, but the shield had protected him from the sharp edge. He’s pressing a hand to his wound and he’s conscious and fine. He’s fine.

You can’t stop a relieved laugh as you crouch down next to him. “Wanna get out of here or what?”

The reflection of the flames makes his eyes almost look green as he squints at you, groaning. “Geez, I hate you.”

“Come on, tough guy,” you say and he lets you pull him to his feet, almost toppling over at his unsteadiness. “Let’s get you home.”

You keep turning around as you make your way to the tunnels, keep looking back towards the staircase you came down, worrying about the reinforcements Sam told you about. Maybe that’s your mistake.

Because you haven’t made it this far before, you don’t think to check that the unconscious white jackets are all still unconscious.

You still have Bucky’s shield arm around your shoulder as he jerks, sensing the motion on his left before you do. He catches the first bullet with his metal arm as you twist out of your hold on him, grabbing your knife and whirling back around. He makes a side step, taking a big swing—

Only you told him not to throw the shield.

You fling your knife as fast as you can, but his single moment of hesitation was long enough for the trigger to be pulled a second time. You turn just in time to see the realization on Bucky’s face, the shock and panic in his eyes as they meet yours.

And then you wake up with a start to the sun in your face and–

“Okay, alright, turn it off, FRIDAY!”

By the time you wipe your mouth and flush the toilet with shaky knees, hair and face still caked with blood, you’re finally starting to understand how well and truly screwed you are.

***

You lean against the fridge, staring at Sam while he’s typing away at the kitchen island. He likes working standing up for some reason, particularly when he has to write some sort of statement.

“If I have to give the speech standing up, I’ve gotta write it standing up,” he’s explained it to you once. You can’t pretend to get it, but you suppose it’s also a perk to be within an arm’s length of snacks at all times while you’re getting stuff done.

“What do you want?” Sam says evenly. His gaze remains fixed on his laptop, his fingers never stopping to move.

You bite your lip. It’s a bad, very bad, terrible idea. You shouldn’t be bothering him with your fuck-up. You don’t even know how to go about it without having him laugh in your face.

“What if I told you that I’m stuck in a time loop?”

The question comes out weirdly flat, as if you’re joking. Fuck, what’s happening to you? You’ve always been fine with being the person who knows more than anyone else in the room. This situation though …

It’s different. It unrattles you in a way your powers never have, because even though it’s your own doing, it also seems so out of your control.

Sam raises an eyebrow, still not looking up. “I’d ask when you started drinking today and why you did it without me.”

Honestly, you should have expected something along these lines as long as you have no way of proving it to him.

“Well,” you say light-heartedly, as if you’re merely chitchatting. “What would you do if you were reliving the same day over and over again?”

“Enjoy my time off, probably,” Sam says, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands.

“I’m serious.”

“And I’m starving. Shouldn’t the food be here by now?”

You check your phone. “About half a minute.”

It gives you an idea for the future.

Lo and behold. You startle the poor delivery guy, opening the front door right before he can knock. “Hi,” you smile, handing him a generous tip. “We don’t know each other, right?”

“Uhm. What?”

“Do you have like, two minutes?”

“Did you have to haggle for them, first?” Sam calls over when you finally make it back to the kitchen, closing his laptop and helping you put down the boxes and containers on the counter.

“Had to convert to Pastafarianism,” you say, getting out the cutlery. “Ready for blasphemy?”

Sam chuckles.

By the time lunch is done and Sam has left for Madison Square Garden, another wave of exhaustion catches up with you. You pull your rings off and leave them on the table before you lie down on the second couch in the living room area, hoping that maybe this time, you’ll get a little bit of rest.

Only once again, it’s no use. Every time you close your eyes, you’re back in the lab, watching Bucky get shot. The background buzz of the TV isn’t loud enough to drown out the sound of your cursed memories.

Or the sound of the cat whining next to your ear.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Alpine settles on your chest this time, leaving long white hairs all over your shirt and hitting you in the face with her tail. You grimace, trying not to inhale any of her fur.

“You’re in her spot.”

You don’t bother turning your aching head. “I thought her spot was over there!” you say accusingly, gesturing vaguely to the other side of the living room.

“Who told you that?” Bucky says, a bemused tone in his voice as he scoops Alpine up in his gloved hands, careful not to touch you. “Move over.”

You blink at him. You did.

You feel his expectant glare on you and sigh.

“Really, you too? We have plenty of room, you know.” You pull your knees in.

“I do,” he says, sitting down next to you and reaching underneath the cushions. “But you’re always hoggin’ the remote.”

You put your cold feet on his thigh in retaliation. Bucky tenses.

“How are you so cold, it’s like ninety degrees outside.”

“Emphasis on outside,” you shrug. “I just run cold.”

“That you do.” He switches channels, then pulls his gloves off and puts them on the table next to your rings.

You bite the inside of your cheek and roll to the floor inelegantly. Alpine meows in disdain, like a knife scratching the whole diameter of a dinner plate.

“Please tell your cat to chill, geez,” you mumble, slumping down on the other couch and stretching your legs out again with a contented sigh.

Bucky doesn’t reply.

“My dear girl,” a thickly accented voice on the TV says, “you cannot keep bumping your head against reality and saying it is not there. The evidence was definite. We can’t remove it by wishing or crying.”

“He trusted me,” a female voice answers. “I led him into a trap, I convicted him. Is that real enough for you?”

“There is no one to blame,” the first voice continues. “The case was a little deeper than you figured. This often happens. You must realize now one thing, it is over for both of you.”

“What are you watching?” you ask.

There’s a short pause before Bucky answers. “Hitchcock. Spellbound.”

You can’t help your reaction.

“Why’d you just do that?” Bucky says.

You stare at the ceiling. “Do what?”

“You flinched.”

“Did not.” You can taste blood in your mouth.

“Why won’t you look at me?”

You turn to the side and demonstratively stare at him, even though it makes your insides twist. Bucky’s face doesn’t change at all as he gazes back at you, frown deepening between his eyebrows. It’s like he’s trying to drown you with the endless blue of his eyes.

You drop your gaze and shake your head.

“What’s your point, Bucky? Not everyone likes staring at people like you do.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s weird. And invasive.”

“It’s invasive to look at you?”

“Yes,” you say, “if you do it like that.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know!” You sit back up again in exasperation. “What do you want from me, Bucky?”

You look at his face this time, not his eyes. It still makes your cheeks burn, because his jaw sets that way again and he doesn’t immediately respond.

“Something’s wrong,” he says, finally, and you hide your face between your hands in what you can only hope looks like frustration. Then you realize that that’s only making your missing rings more obvious.

“Nothing’s wrong,” you snap, balling your hands into fists.

“Tell me.”

“I don’t have anything to tell you!”

“You promised,” Bucky says coolly. “Remember?”

Your stomach plummets.

“Yes,” you say, forcing your voice to stay calm. “But I’ll take care of it. You don’t have to worry. I’ve got this.”

You feel his eyes on your back all the way to your room, and you’re not sure if you’re lying to him or to yourself, even as you slam the door behind you and look anywhere but your bed.

Your book is lying in the wrong place.

*****

“Honestly, Nat, you could’ve killed her.”

“Don’t be dramatic. She’s made of stronger stuff than that.”

There were yellow dots dancing across your vision when you opened your eyes, groaning at the bright neon lights hitting you in the face.

You were lying on the mat in the gym of the Compound and your nose had been ripped clean off; at least that was what it felt like. Judging by your red-soaked shirt, your guess wasn’t that far off, though.

“Hey,” Natasha said, kneeling down next to you. “Sorry, that must hurt like a bitch.”

“Your head is bery solid,” you replied, touching the blood still dribbling down your face. “Ow.”

“Thank you,” she said and handed you a wet towel. “Put that in your neck and lean your head back.”

“Di’ I faind?”

“You knocked yourself out, honey,” she said with a sly grin.

“It isn’t funny, Nat,” Steve shouted. You snorted, then winced in pain.

“Don’t worry,” Natasha winked. “You’re gonna be as pretty as before once you clean up. Already reset your nose while you were out.”

“Thangs.”

Surprisingly, this was the first serious injury you’d sustained in the past couple of weeks you’ve been living as a rookie Avenger; though in truth, that was mostly due to the fact that Natasha had only had you build up your stamina and agility up until today. Your first proper day in the ring was nothing short of humiliating.

“You could always go back to the moment before you decided to headbutt me,” Natasha said once the bleeding had finally stopped.

You wiped your nose carefully, taking a few breaths to clear your airways. “Sadly, that’s not how it works,” you said, letting her help you slowly come upright again. “I’m the one moving through time, so I stay exactly the same. I can help you guys avoid the punches, but I’ll still be the one receiving them.”

Cursed to stay the same, just like you’d always said.

Natasha tilted her head. “That seems like something you could work on with proper help.”

You grimaced. “I’ve tried that before. There’s no one who can help me, no one who can … fix me, or my powers.”

There was worry in her eyes, then, and you were taken aback by how genuine it seemed. It left a crack in your shell.

“I don’t think that’s true,” she said quietly.

But it was. “I mean it,” you said, your lip twitching. “You can’t tell them that I’m here. For all they know, I got dusted just like everyone else.”

She knew; it had been the one condition you’d set in exchange for your help. That didn’t mean she had to like it.

There was a prolonged pause until Natasha nodded. “All the more reason to get you proper training,” she said, getting back to her feet and helping you up. “Let’s get you some ice cream. Good for the healing.”

You smiled when both she and Steve kept worrying about you the entire way to the kitchen, even though both of them tried hard not to make it obvious. It still filled you with a strange sense of warmth that almost had you forget about the pain.

You were safe here.

Things were finally starting to look up.

chapter three

thank you for reading!! you can follow my library blog @intrepidacious-fics for update notifications 💚

[scribbledghost]

Ohhh you're so back!!!i was living on crumbsfinally some good content 🥺🌻

Would you please granted me with more Ivy (i feel like he has a very soft spot for reader but he doesn't show it) I 'm begging you. 🙏

Oh, he shows it.

You just have to know what to look for.

I think he's much like II in the sense that he's outwardly gruff most of the time, but it's just to veil how he really feels.

He'll find you in the library and suddenly you'll have a glass of water nudged into your face with a gruff "Y'haven't drank anything all day". He sounds cranky about having to bring you water, but if you look up at his face you'll notice how soft his eyes are. He won't stay long after you take the glass, instead opting to just run his knuckles over your cheek briefly before leaving again.

On the rare mornings where it's just the two of you in bed together, he'll get downright grumpy if you try to leave too soon for his liking. No matter what your excuse is, he'll just mumble a "too bad" and squeeze you against him tighter. If there's one thing you've learned about IV, it's that you don't get out of bed until he's ready for you to.

If you happen to catch him when he's alone and practicing for a ritual, you may even be lucky enough to have him offer to teach you to play a few tunes. Just... be sure to never let the others find out, because they'd never let it go. Absolutely no one else is ever allowed to touch IV's guitars. But you? You're different. Whether you already know how to play the instrument or not, he'll have you in front of him, with you between him and the guitar. IV will help guide your hands as he shows you how to play the new riff he just came up with.

If you wander into the kitchen late at night to look out over the back garden because you can't sleep, it's almost a given that IV will find you at some point. He'll almost always grumble about how you being awake keeps him awake, but he still never hesitates to gently wrap his arms around you from behind. He'll rest his head on your shoulder and start to gently sway you both back and forth for a bit before turning you around in his arms to dance with you properly.

It's usually in these moments - where the two of you are alone together, isolated and assured that none of the other vessels can tap into your mental connection in their sleep - that IV will catch your gaze in his. Once you're looking at him, you'll hear his voice in your mind:

Y'know I love you, right?

He doesn't say it out loud. He rarely does. But in these quiet moments, when no one else is around to hear or notice, he'll make sure you know.

[crocodiller]

I love your Tav so much but why is Astarion so cold to him? 🥺

Simple answer: I like including comedy in my comics, and making him annoyed at things is funny to me. And I use it as a quick joke a lot lol I'll put too much explanation under a read more.

Maybe he's being a little cold to try to deny any of his own feelings. (...tsundere? oops.) Maybe he does care... a little? But wait, no. Feelings?? Ew.

Rowan turning down all of Astarion's advancements after the first night but still lingering around all the time is very confusing. (knows Rowan likes him, so what do you want??) He keeps subverting his plans. And then when he does flirt with Rowan, Rowan doesn't seem very receptive. (Basics from Rowan's POV: likes Astarion, party night, gets hopes up, realizes it was just for fun, repeatedly trying to distance himself to lose feelings and not get attached/heart broken, fails)

I see the end of Act 1 into 2 as that turning point of not needing to manipulate a romanced Tav anymore to secure a place in the party, and just starting to feel a little bad about the whole mess. And with all the stress going on, I don't know how flirty Astarion would feel like being when his survival isn't hinging on it anymore. I'm basically changing the romance plot here and there to fit around how Rowan is, and it's confusing Astarion when he continuously has to go off script, so I figure he'd be annoyed a lot! (I struggle to put things into words, I hope something made sense here 😂)

[the-kr8tor]

YAAAAAYYY REQUESTS! so something simple but angsty? maybe? reader can’t get out of bed. like literally ever. they always have to make plans way in advance so that they can know when they actually have to get up and do things (that’s on depression baby) and hobie, however, always wants to go out with reader. and one day hobie wakes up reader to take them out and they snap. i don’t know where i’m going with this it’s just really relatable to me 😭

Thank you so much for being patient with your request! I hope you like it ❤️❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x gn! Reader/ Spider-Punk x gn! Reader

Tags: no use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader (except for clothing), CW depression, CW anxiety, CW panic attack, hurt/comfort, CW food mentions, established relationship.

Also requested by anon: Sorry to bother friend but may I ask for a comfort piece of hobie comforting reader when the depression just hits extra bad one night and they’re struggling to accept and believe that they’re loved 🥺? Like they full know that they’re cared and loved for but their brain just refuses to let them accept it and suddenly the thoughts just spiral from there. Feel free to skip and ignore if you aren’t comfy with this. Love your writing sm <3

Navigation

Your eyelashes stick together, tears clinging in each strand as you vigorously wipe it all away with your sleeve. The clock on your night stand blinks, the late afternoon time mocking you for not getting out of bed the whole day when you have plans. Or Hobie has plans that you truly don't feel like getting up for, or for anything else.

The boulder on your chest feels heavier today, heaving through it, inhaling through the stale air of your bedroom. You've curled around yourself, been in the same position for hours now. Back aching, legs numb and fingers tingling from wracking sobs you've let out. It feels as if the dark envelopes you, ebbing through you, embracing you as its own. Sometimes the world feels like that, sometimes it's better— when the light would shine on your skin, laughter in your chest instead of the heaviness wrought by everything. Sometimes, his whispered words help you, sometimes it drags you back down. And as much as you want to bask in the night, the sorrow drags you down into the void.

It's just there, gnawing inside of you until you're no more. You feel like you're nothing in your bed, sheets sticking to your clammy flesh, pillow marked by tears. You were doing well, better than before but it tugged you back, and it feels like the very walls you exist in are crumbling down on you.

The muffled sounds of your breathing are joined by the sound of keys jingling outside. You know who it is, and you'd usually greet him with a smile and kiss or two. But right now, all you want to do is lay there, let the mattress hold you in its embrace.

“You ready, love?” Hobie comes sauntering in the bedroom, all decked out in his leather and denim outfit for tonight's party. And yet, he finds you still in bed, face tucked in between the pillows and body hidden underneath the dense blanket. His smile wavers, socked feet slowly closing the distance. “Love?” You're a stark contrast to him, dressed to nines compared to your pajama pants and old worn out sleep shirt.

Insecurity nips at you as you stare at how handsome he is. He can have anybody else and yet he puts up with you. You sniff at the thought, head turning further away from him as you feel the bed dip down next to you.

“I–” your voice cracks, words stuck in your throat. “— I don't feel well, Hobie, I'm sorry, you'll have to go on your own.”

His hand reaches towards your shoulder, palm meeting with your stiff muscle. “I'll just stay ‘ere then, keep you company.” He whispers the words, and yet it feels like a knife thrust into your back. You promised him that you'll go, and there you are holding him back.

“No, you should go. They'll look for you.”

Hobie's thumb rubs small circles around your skin, chin propped atop your shoulder blade. “They'll look for you too.”

The simple words tug at your heart. “Hobie, please go.” You curl further around yourself. “I'll be fine.”

“I can't leave you like this, love.” He knows it too well, the heaviness that makes a home in you, a trembling blighted thing that would have anyone shaken to their core. He could leave and go out without you, but he can't when his light is being snuffed away at the seams right in front of him. “We can make a day out of today, watch some shite movie on the telly, order somethin' greasy—”

You abruptly turn towards him, eyes red, brows furrowed like you're in pain, and tear stained cheeks glinting in the lamp light. “Please just go.”

His hand instinctively flinches, but as he sees you frown deeply, he lays his palm gently right on your heart. “Can’t, and won't do that, sorry.” He scrunches his nose with a lopsided smile to help ease you, even just for a bit.

“I d–don't want to hold you back.” Warm tears escape from your heavy eyes. “Please just go, I've handled myself like this before, I can do it again.”

“Doesn't mean that you have to go through it alone again.” Hobie says softly, words sticking to your chest. “‘m ‘ere now, love, and you're not holdin’ me back.”

“It’s not your job.” Your hand wraps around his wrist, and he immediately intertwines his fingers around your own, right atop your heart. “You didn't ask for this when we got together.”

“It's not, ‘m doin’ it pro bono.” He jokes, chuckling at the small smile that tugs at your lips. “And I want to stay. I signed up for all of the good and even the bad days, it comes with lovin’ you.” Hobie smiles gently, palm placed on your head as he rubs you lovingly. His thumb brushes along the corner of your eye wiping away any stray tears. “Do you really want me to go? I'll stay by the door though, no way in freezin’ hell ‘m leavin’ you.”

You gaze up at him with shining eyes. His words strike the shadow looming over you, it still lingers, but with Hobie cradling your face and his warmth ebbing through you, it helps. His presence helps.

“...Can you really stay? I can't promise how long I'll be like this.”

“I'll wait it out with you.” With a tug at his sleeve, you pull him towards you in a tight embrace.