#it made me cry and my friend bought one of her CDs and she signed it for them

[reflectionsofgalaxies]

posting selfies because it’s been a hot minute since i showed my face on here and i have short(er) hair now! 🍄

this was at a folk music festival on the weekend that i’ve been going to with my family since before i was a year old. i got to take a new friend this year and it was so wonderful. a beautiful day with beautiful music, art, and people.

this festival is a much smaller one and has struggled in recent years to stay afloat, it runs at a deficit essentially, and is kept going by the community and dedicated volunteers for whom it is a labour of love. i love to see the effort put in to make it a safe, welcoming, accepting atmosphere to celebrate talented (mostly local) artists. 🎶

[adaru32]

The Red Devil’s Chronicles’ March & April 2023 DMC News Updates: PoC, Trend, Merch, And More

Hey, how’s it going? Here are some more Devil May Cry news updates I’ve collected in the past couple months: 1. The Peak of Combat mobile game has made progress. You can find all of their latest updates and announcements on their Youtube channel.

2. Megaman collabing with Devil May Cry V.

3. Capcom had a spotlight survey that went for 2 weeks, with Devil May Cry being on the list.

4. Prime1Studio making more Devil May Cry V merch. b) Including NabeHands making more Devil May Cry figures. c) And there’s now Devil May Cry Vinyl records.

5. Vergil and Nero trended on Twitter for a bit.

6. Lady's Devil May Cry 3 and 4 voice actress Kari Wahlgren won an award.

7. New CAPCOM artwork featuring Dante and Nero. 8. KFC Spain showed off a Vergil cosplayer ordering some KFC.

My Thoughts On These Updates:

1. It’s not just their Youtube channel you can check out the latest things happening with Peak of Combat, but there’s also their Twitter page which includes polls at times. I saw one poll that baffled me where they asked which gaming device they preferred us to slay demons on. SamSung phones won by a looooong shot compared to the other options which were iPhone, PC, and gaming console. I commented saying that I prefer both PC and gaming console, but chose gaming console since it’s what I grew up with.

2. So many Devil May Cry V collabs. It’s cool but it would be nice if the other Devil May Cry games can have turns collabing as well. I’m aware DMC4 and DMC1 had some collab events before, but DMCV seems to be the only thing that’s getting the most collabs.

3. It sucks that in order to take the survey you had to be a CAPCOM member...I know it’s free and keeps a record on how many fans are interested in their products, but it annoys me when you have to sign up for stuff in order to participate in something that you know you won’t often take part in and your profile just sits there. Not just CAPCOM but other companies as well.

4. It’s cool how Prime1Studio’s going strong and still coming out with new Devil May Cry V merch, 4 years after its release. Then again, Devil May Cry V is still expanding in popularity. I just had my cousin tell me recently that one of her friends is a huge Vergil fan but has never played any of the games, and this friend finally bought all the games and plans to play them whenever he gets the time. b) NabeHands has been doing an amazing job on the figures. Looking forward to more Devil May Cry figure projects from them. c) I wonder what the Devil May Cry tunes would sound like on a record player or jukebox (also huge congrats to the fan artist StelarPidgin for being a part of the project by making the artwork for the records). I’ve heard people argue that they prefer the sound of music on a record player or jukebox compared to a cassette tape or CD player (even speakers from a laptop or phone). I don’t have a jukebox and record player myself but I remember my one grandmother having a record player before it got really old and worn out, and I can kinda remember that the music was nice and clean with the right touch of bass compared to other music playing systems. 

5. Usually it would be just Dante, Devil May Cry, or DMC that would be trending on Twitter. It’s nice to see the other characters from the series taking the trending spotlight.

6. Big congrats to Kari Wahlgren for her award. She is a great voice actress. Speaking of her, I still need to find out why she didn’t get credited for voicing as Lady in DMC3 and 4.

7. With CAPCOM showing off more Devil May Cry in their advertising shows how popular of a series it is, and gives a bit more hope about more future titles coming sooner than later.

8. It’s really cool and interesting to see when restaurant chains recognize certain media and implement them into their advertising, promotions, etc. 

[vanillann]

five star conversation (r.p)

a/n: i’m going to cry, i can’t believe this is the last part of my favorite mini series:(

word count:

5 star conversation masterlist

place four: a 1 star gig

Flynn was always on top of things, she always was, but when she wasn’t you didn’t want to be lodged on a tour bus with her. She had already tried to throw her phone out the window, thank God Alex was looking for his hat and he caught it.

“They canceled our reservation! That must be illegal!”

I curled closer to Julie on her bed, letting my head rest on her shoulder every time Flynn let out a line of words. Reggie had a small panic attack with the yelling and Flynn tried to apologize but he didn’t blame, he was just as mad. So now the boy walked around the gas station we had stopped at and Julie and I let Flynn rant to us, she deserved it.

“Maybe another venue will host us,” Julie spoke up when Flynn didn’t yell again, her feet had finally stopped leaving marks in the carpet from pacing.

“I’ve already called two and they said their full, which had to be a lie, and plus how do we get the word out to the fans!” Flynn reached down and grabbed my knee, looking at me with sad eyes.

I pulled my phone from my pocket, waving it in the air while I sat up.

“I can always do a live and explain everything, why don’t you get some air,” I rubbed her shoulder, hoping she would take my advice, She had always given Reggie and Alex a heart attack and maybe going to the little nature walk across the street would be good, she could throw some rocks at some trees.

“I’ll get some air, yeah okay.”

She hurried off the bus, most likely to throw or kick rocks around the parking lot as Flynn never liked nature trails, it was nice to dream. If she dented this bus, we’ll be in debt.

“I can’t believe the venue canceled, it was our last gig on tour too!” Julie stood, looking down as I laid on her bunk and played with my phone in between my fingers.

I didn’t have to heart to tell the fans that we didn’t have a venue, that we wouldn’t have a final gig that was supposed to help release the new album coming out in five months.

It might have seemed small, we were blessed we even had this opportunity but it doesn’t change the fact that the one we're most excited for now was not happening.

“I’m going to find the boys, you coming?”

I closed my eyes, the boys. Everything they worked for was now becoming a nightmare, their idea of the perfect tour was ruined with falling through plans and missed opportunities.

“No, I need to go live and get the word out anyways,” I brushed off Julie, I didn’t have the heart to look any of them in the eye and tell them. To break their heart like everyone else in their life has, I just couldn’t do it. Julie waved behind her, I waited until the bus door shut before I let my head rollback.

I looked up at the bunk above me, Flynn’s, and let my mind wander over the past few months. They were perfect. Watching the fan scream their name for hours and they showed them in their element. The pictures that have been taken, many saved in my phone of the people I would always turn to. The edits that have been made have made me laugh harder than I imagined. Before this tour, nobody knew me, not that I ever cared, but I was behind the scenes. Now, the fans want me on the stage even if I don’t contribute to the music.

The music, the music had been show-stopping. Luke has been through four journals the past few months, writing back fast food drive in’s and doing stupid things with friends, that how the new album was coming out so fast. They were all so excited, Reggie was so excited to have one of his own songs featured as a single.

Reggie.

I let my hand run over my face, feeling the embarrassment from the incident at the fair. Watching his face move closer to mine, like a slow-motion picture and then ripped away when it was ripped in half. I took a minute and tried turning it into a moment, but it was never our moment. All the giggles and inside jokes hurt my chest and I thought back to the more recent time of the tour.

The motel, the way the light shines across his face and we wondered would the world cave in around. The feeling of his hand gripping my shirt because he always felt he had to be touching someone, he said it reminds him not to act so dead.

The diner when he gave me sweet little comments and took my fork from my lips. When we laughed about food poisoning and wondered would we ever be the same people after he played with my finger from across the table.

The fair where I gave him his first horse, then named it after an artist I introduced to him too. The way the wind passed his hair like he was made to run away from the world that had disappointed him more than once.

Every one-star establishment that made me believe could kiss my butt because now we had nothing. I didn’t need any more one-star buildings and places in my life. They’re just cheap and used for people who have no other options.

I sat up quickly, so quickly my head hit Flynn bunk.

No other options and cheap, exactly what someone in our situation could use right now. I let my phone spin between my fingers, unlocking it quickly before finding my search bar. We sat in the center of California, there had to be a one-star building somewhere near, one that we could turn into a dive bar or something. I smiled when a cheap bar popped up first, the area large enough to hold people and a small stage the band could work with.

Larry’s Bar was suddenly open for business. I dialed the number quickly, praying for the first time in a week something would go my way.

“L-larry’s Bar,” the woman sounded out of breath but I couldn’t care.

“Can we rent out your bar for a band?”

“Huh?”

“We need a venue for a band performance,” I realized why Flynn handled this and not me, this was out of my comfort zone.

“Are you sure you have-”

“Incredibly sure, yes or no?”

The line went silent, for a minute I thought she hung up on me and I considered crying with Reggie’s stuffed horse for a minute.

“The bar’s yours,” the lady's voice sounds light suddenly like we finally both got some good news. She definitely made my week without knowing.

“We’ll be there in forty-five minutes,” I didn’t wait for a response, rushing out of the tour bus to find someone. When I spotted everyone leaning against an ice machine outside the gas station with sad faces, my legs couldn’t stop me from rushing. I was happy Fylnn already kicked all the rock because otherwise, I would have felt.

“Guys!”

“Hey,” Alex's voice was sad and sincere, about to place a hand on my shoulder but I was bouncing on my toes.

“Whip off your sad faces, I got us a gig!”

*

“Just got off live, the fans are going to spread the information,” I yelled throughout the bar, and Luke and Jessie, the lady from the phone, moved the last few tables around the bar to make more room. Reggie and Alex did a quick soundcheck, we were currently renting amps and such from across the street since the owner's daughter was apparently a “Luke Girl”.

“Thank God, I would hope we don’t do all this work for nobody to show up” Alex called back as he did the classic comedy drum sound, giving a smile as he grabbed the extra drumstick from his back pocket.

I rolled my eyes, hopping off the stage to the small table at the door for Flynn and me to sit at for tickets and shirts, CD including, and a special code for the single Reggie was presenting tonight.

Luke and he had been fighting over it for ten minutes because Reggie changed the one he wanted to release last minute, it must have been good if Luke was letting him get away with it.

“I can’t believe you pulled this off,” Flynn sat in her seat with her arms crossed, people would be arriving as soon as possible and we were prepared for anything.

“What can I say,” I smiled brightly, taking the seat beside her.

“What made you think of this?”

I wanted to say, Reggie, that he almost always somehow inspired my best ideas but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Almost everyone knew of the almost kiss and how awkward things have been between us, so awkward I couldn’t say his name.

“Just about what happened at the motel, how we had to make it work.”

It wasn't a lie, that was for sure.

“Well, you saved the tour,” Flynn leaned over and squeezed my shoulders, her bucket hat titled as it smashed against my face. I hugged her back, smiling into her shoulder, I saved the tour.

*

The crowd screamed as the band finished off “Bright”, sweat dripping down them as they gave wide gestures.

“Thank you! Now it’s surprise time!” Julie passed the microphone to Luke, who looked so excited for his next set of words.

“The rumors about the new album are true,” he let the mic drop until the screams died down, “and we are here to show one of the singles for the said album that will drop on March 3rd at midnight!”

The crowd went crazy again and I laughed against Flynn, we both decided to stay in our chairs for the performance as we had an amazing view and we didn’t want to push through everyone. I was scared that everyone would see the one-star and turn the other way but every ticket that was bought came.

Reggie smiled as he took the stage, his bass switched for an acoustic, which confused me but I didn’t think much about it, I knew he liked to mess with it sometimes.

“Hi everybody!”

Reggie gave a peace sign to the crowd, the few girls who wore Reggie’s face on their shirt screamed at the top of their lungs.

“This is a song I wrote a few weeks ago on tour called “Five Star conversation.”

I looked over my shoulder at Flynn, her eyes wide as she watched Reggie get situated on his stool in front of the mic.

“What song is this?”

“Uhm, this one?”

All she did was point and I decided to go back and watch him play. I could always ask later, I’d have to make merch with it anyways.

“Dingy bathrooms and motel floors, I’d never wanted you more than right now,” Reggie's voice came out rough as his voice played with the melody just right. His finger-picked at the string and I was shocked by the slow melody. This definitely wasn’t a song I’d heard.

“The city lights across your face, I swear you fell from grace. The world around me seemed to disappear the second you spoke,” that when it happened, the moment he turned his head. He looked in my eye, the words rooting themselves in my chest, tattooed across my heart.

“Our five-star conversations were softer than the pillows beneath me, I wish you could have really seen me.”

I felt myself chew on my bottom lip, feeling my eyes turn to me as his attention never left my face. He was watching me, the same way he had in every other one-star establishment, but this felt different.

“Oh, you wouldn’t know the five-star conversation I had with your soul.” The medley rang out, Julie’s soft humming joined in behind and I wondered how anyone could focus.

How could anyone think straight when someone was looking so adoring under the flashing light of a cheap bar that smelt like feet?

How could I pay attention while he looked at me like I hung the stars in the sky when he hung the moon?

“Crappy food and screaming doors, I wonder if you knew of your own grace!” His word rang back in my eye, like a bug that wouldn’t quite go away, not that I would ever want this to stop.

But it had to stop because I was suddenly the center of attention and I couldn’t handle it. I couldn't know the world more than I did. But I was rooted in place watching the boy I had fallen so hard for a look at me with his puppy eyes and wonder where we would stand after this.

“Don’t let me lose our five-star conversation in a one-star world after all,” he strummed the last bit of the song, I barely processed half the word before I let my legs go. I was walking somewhere, wherever my feet would allow me to go. I was outside, the brick wall of the bar brought me back to reality.

The same reality where I didn’t think boys wrote songs that sweet and they didn’t look at you like that. They didn’t look at you like you spun gold strings and gave them pretty smiles, but he did.

He always did, he always looked at me like I belonged next to him saving tours and making horrible plans. He looked at me like I could be his muse for the rest of his life, of death is more appropriate. He looked at me as if I was more than his because I wasn’t his, I was myself and that’s all he wanted.

He was in love with me, the same person from the motel, the same person for the diner, the same person from the fair.

I was the five-star person in the world star world, I was the extra star he was always looking for.

“(Y/N)!”

As soon as I watched his body slide out the door of the bar, I walked to him. I didn’t realize how far I walked until he started rambling.

“I’m sorry to put you on the spot but I couldn’t stop-”

My hand gripped the thin jacket material, not thinking twice and my lips smashed against his with force. He fell back slightly, his hand grabbing my wrist for a second before he was running them over my shoulder and down to my elbows. He pulled me closer if that was possible, and I let my hand touch over his heart.

The heart that wanted me, Reggie wanted me. There were girls who would wear his face on a shirt and he wanted the person that made those shirts.

I was his five stars, even if I loved him in every one-star and three-star establishment.

I felt myself pull away, our forehead resting on one another and I took a shaky breath.

“I’d give that kiss two stars.”

He smiled down at me, raising his eyebrows and letting his tongue run over the side of his cheek with a smirk.

“Give me ten minutes and I’ll make it five stars.”

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[artificialqueens]

Come Home to My Heart, Chapter 2 (Lemyanka) - Plastiquedoll

read on ao3 ✨| chapter 1

A/N: hiii, this is chapter 2 of this lemyanka childhood friends, friends to lovers, idiots to lovers whatever you wanna call it. I really wanted to play with the time skips to show different parts of their lives together throughout the years so this is a continuation from chapter 1 a few years later. thanks for reading <3

-2-

At the age of thirteen, there were many things Priyanka loved. The list included: electric blue glittery nail polish, writing her name with a golden pen, pop music and girl groups-especially Britney Spears and The Spice Girls-, any movie with Lindsay Lohan in it, acting in the school productions -especially if she got the main role-, sleepovers over Lemon’s house where they secretly watched The O.C., seeing films with Lemon without an “adult” with them, re-acting scenes of the Cheetah Girls movie with Lemon…

She was at Lemon’s a lot.

The thing was, Lemon was the only child of her parent’s marriage, her parents both worked, and most of the time she had the house on her own. For Priyanka -who lived with her siblings and her parents and couldn’t spare one second of privacy at her own home- it was like paradise. They did everything together, on the weekdays they did homework together and afterward, they would lay in the blonde’s room reading magazines and cutting pictures of celebrities and clothes they liked, or listen to a new CD they had been saving for weeks to buy for hours until they knew the lyrics by heart.

Her room had yellow walls -big shocker- and it was covered in posters and pictures with Priyanka, white carpet on the floor, and a mix of Barbie dolls and makeup over the boudoir. She also had a large single bed only for herself with like a million fluffy pillows they had shared more than once.

Lemon had ballet classes three times per-week and Priyanka had rehearsals with the drama club but those were the only moments they were apart. Being childhood friends, their parents got into the obligation of sending them to the same primary school after finishing kindergarten and now they would attend the same secondary school once summer was over.

It was a warm day of summer, Lemon rolled over her bed and showed Priyanka an item she liked, Crazy in Love by Beyoncé played on the radio while the other girl was trying to cover a pimple on her chin with some foundation she had bought in the mall.

“You’re going to make it worse.” Lemon made her remove her hands.

“It hurts, it’s like a little red dot full of hate.”

“Use toothpaste instead.”

“Does it work?”

“Allegedly.” She shrugged. “I read it somewhere.”

“Okay… What did you want to show me?”

“Look at these,” she pointed at a picture of Hillary Duff. “I need those shoes.”

“That’s a pump.” Priyanka said, unimpressed.

“But it’s pink and yellow. How you don’t like the gradient in the colors? I’m in love.”

“Can you even walk with heels?”

She rolled her eyes. “Of course I can. When you’re short like me, you gotta have some options.”

Priyanka couldn’t argue with that, for her age she was already one of the tallest girls in the classroom. Sometimes she disliked being that tall, she felt like a little deer that couldn’t control its feet, wobbling around awkwardly.

Her best friend flipped a few more pages.

“Look! It’s a poster of Ryan Gosling from that movie… The Notebook.” She sounded excited.

Right. They were supposed to be excited about handsome muscle guys but there was something about it that didn’t click with Priyanka. She thought maybe she was just too young to get it, that when she’d grow older she’d get the feeling but until then, she had become very good at pretending.

“Oh, he’s so hot.” She hoped Lemon didn’t notice the fakeness of her voice.

“I know, right?” She giggled. “Do you want his picture?”

“Ah… you can keep it… I already have Leonardo DiCaprio’s and that’s just too many white guys.”

“Alright.” She picked a pair of scissors and started cutting the actor’s silhouette. The pair of dark-framed glasses she had on kept sliding down her nose bridge.

Priyanka smiled fondly at it.

“I’m home!” It was Lemon’s mom that had just returned from work.

Lemon jumped out of the bed and stood in the door’s frame. She looked even smaller in that oversized t-shirt of the Powerpuff Girls and shorts she wore as pajamas. Her hair was tied in a messy ponytail that brushed her shoulder blades.

“Hi, mom.” She yelled. “Priyanka’s here!”

“Hi, Priyanka!”

“Hello, Mrs. Baptsita!”

Priyanka adored Mrs. Baptista, she was a little wacky for Lemon’s taste but it was because she was younger than most moms with kids their age. She liked Priyanka and she supported their friendship since kindergarten, called them the Ketchup&Mustard duo since that Halloween they had matching costumes.

“Is she staying for dinner?”

Lemon turned around. “Are you staying for dinner?”

Priyanka shrugged. “Sure.”

“She is mom!”

“I’m making spaghetti!”

“Sound good!” She turned back to Priyanka again. “I hope you like spaghetti.”

“You know I do.”

Just a couple of minutes later, they heard the sound of Mr. Baptista’s car at the entrance.

“That’s my dad.” Lemon pointed.

“Hello, I’m home.”

“Hi, dad! Priyanka’s here.”

“Hi Lemon drop, hi Priyanka!”

“Hello, Mr. Baptista!”

Lemon grinned but not even five minutes later than her father’s arrival, the vibe of the kitchen changed and it was clear by the sound of their voices, her parents were arguing. Another argument…

“I swear to God… this is the third time this week."

Lemon sat on the edge of the bed and buried her face in her hands. She looked tired.

Priyanka gently touched her knee offering some comfort. Lemon pulled a weak smile that faded as soon as the voices increased in volume.

"Hey, I have some extra cash, wanna get some pizza?” Priyanka offered.

Lemon bit her bottom lip and nodded. “Let’s go.”

Lemon changed her shorts for pants and put on a pair of sneakers, then she grabbed her keys and both of them were out of the house. It wasn’t that late yet and there was a pizza place a few blocks away they could get on foot; they walked in silence until Lemon’s house was behind, then the blonde let a big sigh out of her chest.

“Pri, I can’t do this…” She sounded fragile as if she was holding the pieces together trying not to break with all her strengths.

Priyanka ran her arm over her shoulder and held her when she seemed about to fall.

“It’s okay, I’m sure they are going to work it out.”

Lemon snorted. “They started going to couple’s counseling and it got worse, they have pretty solid arguments to fight now.”

Priyanka covered her mouth holding back the laughter. “Sorry.”

“You dumb bitch.” Lemon shook her head.

They walked hugged like that the rest of the way, ate greasy pizza with extra cheese, and returned to a sepulchral silent house. Priyanka laid on the bed next to her, so close yet so far. If she extended her hand just a little more, she could touch her shoulder, make sure she was okay but for some reason, she couldn’t. Yet, she hoped that being there for her friend was enough then.

On the other side, Lemon had her eyes wide open, unable to drift off when her mind was going through a million different scenarios. Everything could only go downhill from there.

They didn’t know at that moment but the worst was yet to come.

She dashed out of the house as soon as she got the phone call, barely having the chance to put on a helmet before grabbing her bike. Priyanka was still catching her breath by the time Lemon opened the door.

Her face was bathed in tears, her eyes completely red and she couldn’t stop crying not even to explain what had happened. Priyanka had a vague idea judging by what was said on the phone but it wasn’t until she saw her friend she knew it was bad. Very bad.

Lemon wasn’t the most physically affectionate person in the world but she let Priyanka hug her and cried it out on her chest. They sat on the porch until the blonde began to calm down and could explain it better.

“Pri, they… they are getting divorced. It’s all happening so fast.”

Priyanka held her hand and squeezed it lightly. Lemon looked at her hand and then at her face, her eyes flooded with tears again.

“Hey,” The brunette tried to comfort her. “I’m so sorry, I know you love them both and they love you very much but this is probably for the best.”

“No, Pri, you don’t understand. They are… separating for real. They talked about lawyers and My mom she…” Lemon sobbed. “She wants us to move out…”

“Oh, I mean, that’s normal like-”

“…to New York.” Her voice was weak, defeated.

It took Priyanka a moment to process the newly acquired information.

“New York?!” She repeated in disbelief.

“Apparently, she has a job offer there, and… they think it’s for the best to put some distance between them.”

“I get the ‘moving out thing’ and the distance but that’s a completely different country!”

“I know! That’s what I said. Tell me I’m right, she’s out of her mind.”

“But wait, when does she want you to move out? What about school?”

“She thinks it’s a good idea if we go before the new semester starts so we can settle in and…”

“No, the new semester starts in two weeks… What about your dance lessons? Your life here?”

What about us?

“She said there are plenty of dance academies over there… That I would do fine. I hate it. This doesn’t go with the plan we had.”

Priyanka and Lemon had a life plan since they were ten, sealed with a pinky promise. They were going to graduate high school together and go to university in Toronto where they both would be roommates throughout college. It was their way of being together, to accomplish things in the company of the other, a sign of their unbreakable friendship.

“Wait but… what about your dad?” Can’t you stay with him?“ There was a hint of hope in Priyanka’s voice.

Lemon stared at the wooden floor of the porch for the longest time before looking back at her friend.

"I can’t. My dad travels a lot for business and while he’s going to remain here… my mom gave me no choice. They even said that it’s either New York or some boarding school in Quebec.”

Lemon surely had gone mad about it for her parents to threaten her like that, it didn’t sound like the Baptistas at all.

“This can’t be…” Priyanka shook her head. The tears felt warm on her cheeks.

“We’re leaving next week.”

“No…no, that’s… that’s too soon. You can’t leave… who’s going to help me buy a new outfit for the first day? Who’s going through the first day of school with me?”

“I hate to think about it. They really think this is for the best and then decide to drag me to a different country for the first year of school… «You have to be reasonable» they said, but they are the ones that come with these ideas out of blue.”

It was too sudden it made Priyanka felt dizzy; she couldn’t even begin to imagine what her friend was feeling like.

She squeezed her hand again. “It’s going to be okay.”

“You keep saying that but-” Lemon shook her head.

“Because it is going to be okay. I promise you, we’ll still be together, and… maybe we don’t get to attend the same high-school but we can still go to college together, the plan can still work out.”

“Are you sure?”

“Completely. You’re my best friend in the world; nothing is going to change that.”

Lemon smiled for the first time after getting the news of her parents’ divorce.

“Thanks, Pri.” She went for a hug and was received with open arms.

They hugged for a while without saying a single word, in that situation, words were unnecessary.

The day of Lemon’s moving, ironically the sun was shining and Priyanka kept reminding herself that in different circumstances they’d be at the park with their bikes or at the local pool but no, she was heading to her best friend’s house to say the last goodbye.

Priyanka hadn’t cried in front of her since that day on the porch but she had cried a lot when no one was seeing her. She was sad, upset, and mad about the situation but she didn’t want Lemon to leave with a sad note. So she went ahead and planned a week dedicated to her best friend, to enjoy the things they loved the most.

They had made each other friendship bracelets with their names –Priyanka was red and orange and it had a little golden star hanging next to her name; Lemon’s was pink and yellow and a butterfly next to hers- they had movie nights and sleepovers, karaoke sessions and dancing marathons every day until that awful day arrived.

Priyanka rode her bike like she had done millions of times before. There was a «FOR SALE» sign hanging outside and she hated it with all her soul. There was a truck parked outside as well with many boxes stacked inside and some furniture pieces they were taking to New York. Lemon was sitting on the porch’s stairs with a backpack on, the scene was oddly familiar and for a second time stopped.

She didn’t notice Priyanka’s presence until the brunette touched her shoulder.

“You’re here.” She said and did her best to smile.

“Where else I’d be?”

Lemon stood on her feet and hugged her, Priyanka hugged her back.

“Promise me you’re going to wait for my calls every week… and that you’re not going to have another best friend… ever.” Lemon sobbed on her shoulder.

“I promise it.” Priyanka patted her back in a calming gesture.

“I’ll visit on holidays, my dad is probably going to get a shitty apartment but still, I’ll be here.”

“I know you will.”

Lemon let go of her embrace. “Thank you, Pri. You’re my best friend in the world.”

“I know, right?”

The blonde giggled. “You’re so stupid…”

“Luce, get in the car, it’s time to go.” Her mom called her as she carried one last box.

“I have to go now. I already said good-bye to my dad; he had a flight to catch early but… It feels so empty without him here.”

“Lemz, I’m sorry.” She hugged her one more time. It was quick but it lingered. “Take care and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do in New York.”

“That sets the bar very low, don’t you think?”

Priyanka laughed. “I’ll miss you like crazy.”

“Me too.”

Lemon’s mom waved in their direction, the car was already on and the truck was closed and packed.

“Well, I guess this is our goodbye for now.”

“Count the days because I’m going to be back in no time, okay?”

She nodded.

“Love you, Pri.”

“Love you too.”

And with that said, Lemon started walking toward the car. It was painful to watch her leave but Priyanka didn’t want to look away, she wanted to remember it all until they could meet again.

The car started moving but stopped abruptly as Lemon opened the door and ran back to where Priyanka was.

“Lemon, what…?”

“I almost forgot, I was supposed to give you this the first day of school but…” She was out of breath. Suddenly a brand new CD of Spiceworld was on Priyanka’s hands. “You were so sad when your sister broke the one you had worked so hard to buy and I thought…”

Priyanka was hugging her again. “Oh, Lemon…”

“Please don’t forget me.”

Her mom honked at them, the truck was already hitting the road.

Lemon walked back and this time, she left for real.

[cas-kingdom]

i was extremely bored so found this 105-question questionnaire and filled it out. you guys can do it too if you want!

 1) Are you in a relationship with somebody? No.

2) Do you hate more than 3 people? Probably.

3) How many houses have you lived in? 4.

4) Favorite candy bar? Crunchie! (That’s honeycomb and chocolate heaven for those of you who don’t own the luxury of having them in your country).

5) Favorite shoes? Nike.

6) Have you ever tripped someone? Oh, yes.

7) Least favorite school subject? Science, unless it’s biology, which isn’t so bad.

9) Do you own a Britney Spears CD? No.

10) Have you ever thrown up in public? Yes. I was 8, in school, and threw up in front of my class. So fun. Really, it was my parents’ fault for sending me in despite me saying I felt sick; they thought I was trying to get a day off school because my sister was ill, too. Sucks to be wrong.

11) Name one thing that is always on your mind. A lot.

12) Favorite genre of music? Probably pop. Whatever Take That is.

13) What is your zodiac sign? Pisces.

14) What time were you born? 9:06 am.

15) Do you like beer? There’s a dark berry one I don’t mind, but I don’t drink much alcohol.

16) Ever made a prank phone call? Yep.

17) What is the most embarrassing CD you own? I don’t own any CDs tbh. 

18) Are you sarcastic? Of course not. (That was sarcasm).

19) What are your favorite colors? Blue and yellow! 

20) How many watches do you own? I have a few, though only one proper one which I wear most days, but it’s an expensive one.

21) Summer or winter? Winter. The sun gives me headaches.

23) Favorite color to wear? Black or white with blue denim. (I’m boring).

24) Pepsi or Sprite? Sprite.

25) What color is your cell phone? Silver and white.

26) Where is your second home? Ireland! 

27) Have you ever slapped someone? Not that I can remember. I’d like to, though. ;)

28) Have you ever had a cavity? Yes, but only recently, weirdly enough.

29) How many lamps are in your bedroom? 2. Are you supposed to have any more than that?

30) How many video games do you own? No clue. Apart from Sims 3 & 4, Minecraft which I bought when I was like 11 and haven’t played in years, and tons of old Nintendo games…. Yep. No idea!

31) What was your first pet? Poppy, my black and white cat. My parents adopted her before I was born and she was put down when I was 13. She lived to be over 20!

32) Ever had braces? Yep. Currently have them now which sucks because the treatment will probably be set back now that my next appointment has been delayed over 3 months due to the virus!

33) Do looks matter? Someone’s looks become a little less attractive to me if their personality isn’t just as beautiful. (How sappy?)

34) Do you use chapstick? After I brush my teeth because my lips get dry. ;(

35) Name 3 teachers from your High School. Mrs Drake, Mr Cherry (isn’t that an awesome name?) and Mr Romero.

36) American Eagle or Abercombie? I’m not American but I do visit and my Granma had an apartment in Florida so I have a few Abercrombie clothes.

37) Are you too forgiving? Probably, yes.

38) How many children do you want? 3. Twin boys and a little girl.

39) Do you own something from Hot Topic? Again, not American!

40) Favorite breakfast meal? Pain au chocolat!

41) Do you own a gun? There’s a water gun somewhere in my back garden.

42) Ever thought you were in love? Not with anybody who isn’t fictional.

43) When was the last time you cried? Uh, a few days ago?

44) What did you do 3 nights ago? I can’t even remember what I did last night.

45) Olive Garden? La Panera? Never been to either, though my sister and I will go to OG after lockdown’s over.

46) Have you ever called your teacher mommy? No, but I’ve called my science teacher Grandma (they have the same name). 

47) Have you ever been in a castle? I’ve been in loads!

48) Nicknames? A few. My best friend and I constantly call each other ‘Bitch’ and my Dad has called me ‘Monkey’ since I was born. I have it tattooed in his handwriting.

49) Do you know anyone named Bertha? Who knows someone called Bertha? (No offense if your name is Bertha).

50) Ever been to Kentucky? The only US states I’ve been to are Florida and NYC.

51) Do you own something from Banana Republic? No. Had to look up what it was. Thought it was a crazy Government party.

52) Are you thinking about somebody right now? Alexander Skarsgard. Why? Who knows. (We all know).

53) Have you ever called someone Boo? No, but I’ve been called it.

55) Do you own a diamond ring? No, but my mum and sister own a few (passed down from my Granma).

56) Are you happy with your life right now? I wish.

57) Do you dye your hair? A little. It’s a bit blonder that it is naturally.

58) Does anyone like you? Who knows?

59) What year were you born? 2000 and something....... maybe.

60) What were you doing in May of 1994? Rooting for my parents to meet and have me.

61) Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD? No.

62) McDonalds or Wendy's? Wendy’s. I hate McDonalds.

63) Do you like yourself? Sometimes.

64) Are you closer to your mother or father? Probably my mum, but that’s only because my dad and I are so alike we often find it difficult to speak about what I speak about with my mum. 

65) Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex? Oh, where do I start? Give me a guy with long-ish hair and we’re good to go.

66) Are you afraid of the dark? Sometimes.

67) Have you ever eaten paste? Like toothpaste? Probably accidentally.

68) Do you own a webcam? No.

69) Have you ever stripped? Not in front of anyone…

70) Ever broke a bone? 2. My shoulder and my tailbone. Both by falling off my horse. I know, I know.

72) Do you chat on AIM often? I don’t even know what that is.

73) Pringles or Lays? Never had Lays. My favourite crisp (or chip to you Americans) is paprika Pringles.

74) Have you ever broken someone's heart? I don’t think so.

75) Rugrats or Doug? Who what where?

76) Full House or The Brady Bunch? FULL HOUSE. Even if I’d watched The Brady Bunch, my go-to will always be Full House.

77) Did you like your high school guidance counselor? We don’t have those over here.

78) Has anyone ever called you fat? Don’t think so. I’m underweight so if they did they’d be an asshole or blind.

79) Do you have a birth mark? One on my thigh.

80) Do you own a car? I will after I learn to drive.

81) Can you cook? I can try.

82) 3 things that annoy you: Background noise when I’m trying to concentrate, people who think they know something when they don’t, those who think they can dictate my life for me... (among maaaany other things).

83) Do you text message often? Not really. I speak to my friends on social media.

84) Money or love? Love, but money is important, too.

85) Do you have any scars? A few. The most prominent one is on my forehead from when I ran into the corner of the oven door and tore a hole in my head. I was at my Granma’s at the time and she almost had a mini heart attack.

86) What do you want more than anything right now? To leave my house.

87) Do you enjoy scary movies? It’s my best friend and I’s go-to genre of movies when we’re together. Never alone, though.

88) Relationships or one night stands? Relationship. Please.

89) Big Red or Juicy Fruit? What on earth does this mean?

90) Do you enjoy greasy food? Not really.

91) Have you seen all the Rocky movies? Nope. None.

92) Do you own a box of crayons? Probably somewhere in my house.

94) Who was the last person that said they loved you? My dad.

95) Who was the last person that made you mad? My mum. Not ‘mad’ mad. Just upset and a little angry.

96) Who was the last person that made you cry? Refer to previous question.

97) Who was the last person that made you laugh? My parents when my dad almost had a heart attack when my mum pretended to throw the spider she’d caught at him.

98) Who was the last person that you fell for? My dog.

99) Who was the last person that instant messaged you? My best friend.

100) Who was the last person that called you? A woman about a job interview.

EXTRA QUESTIONS!!

101) Name one thing you want to stop. Right now? The Coronavirus.

102) What's your dream holiday destination? New Zealand and Iceland.

103) Who's your celebrity crush? I have too many to be considered healthy. But Hugh Jackman... I love you…

104) What's your favorite video game? Sims.

105) What's your favorite song right now? Probably Snowman by Isak Danielson. Forever my fave.

[cyncity2000]

73 questions tag! tysm @goodlesson , can’t say i’ve ever had anything like this before but hey it’s not like I have anything better to do rn 😅 

answers under the cut! i tag @rene-royale @teenager-confused-tired @sawafilmtoday @onedoesnotsimplystormthebastille if you feel like it, but no pressure bc this is a LOT and took me a couple days to finish lol

on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? um. could be worse, could be better?? so 5. 

describe yourself in a hashtag? no. twitter and all its shitty hashtags can go to hell.

if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? weird question. nobody?? i wouldn’t want to??

if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? not to be all dan smith on main but like...’come to this please’

what’s one thing people don’t know about you? uhhhh idk. i’m very open about most aspects of my personality i’d say

what’s your wake up ritual? stay in bed as long as possible and then YEET at maximum speed so i don’t waste the day

what’s your go to bed ritual? tell myself i should go to bed. pick up my phone instead. regret it in the morning.

what’s your favorite time of day? 2pm or 9-10pm 

your go to for having a good laugh? macdoesit or drawfee videos on youtube. truly the best.

dream country to visit? i wanna go back to england and france, also i’d love to visit literally anywhere i could

what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? falling in love with my college roommate probably,, didn’t see THAT coming

heels or flats/sneakers? bitch i’m 5′10″ with size 12.5 feet. converse.

vintage or new? vintage looks cool. i am not cool. so new.

who do you want to write your obituary? idk man i don’t wanna think about that now???

style icon? if you knew me irl you’d know style is not a word in my vocabulary

what are three things you cannot live without? my cat, my friends/gf, and my cd collection 

what’s one ingredient you put in everything? i do not bake or cook, the real world is going to kill me immediately

what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? i’d be too stressed to make food for people but i’d love to like. go OUT for dinner with...dodie, dallon weekes, and pj liguori. they’re all just cool people i follow and i wanna know what they’re LIKE. 

what’s your biggest fear in life? failure due to lack of confidence, motivation and direction in life :)))

window or aisle seat? i’d say window but i am long boi so aisle is usually nicer unless i trip someone by accident

what’s your current tv obsession? still supernatural, also brooklyn 99

favorite app? tumblr :D

secret talent? despite my crippling procrastination issues i’ve almost always been a straight-A student 🤷‍♀️

most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? drove myself two hours to a concert in february, or maybe the time i did a really hard ropes course or went to the badlands?

how would you define yourself in three words? introverted, distracted, nerdy

favorite piece of clothing you own? maybe my waterparks sweatshirt bc i had a dream last night that i donated it and then went back to the store to buy it back lmao so subconsciously i must really like it

a must have clothing item that everyone should have? you gotta have that one pair of black jeans that goes with anything imo

a superpower you would want? flying. it’s the only recurring dream i’ve ever had and it’s my only answer ever

what’s inspiring you in life right now? all the people doing big or little things to help. the ones doing instagram lives or sending money or supplies to people in need or just giving me more faith in humanity

best piece of advice you’ve received? can’t remember any. why doesn’t anyone give me good advice

best advice you’d give your teenage self? do your laundry on time. don’t wear...whatever that was to school. just wash ur fuckin clothes. also don’t let it bother you that you’re single the whole time. you’ll get there.

a book everyone should read? they both die at the end by adam silvera. you WILL cry. but you will love it. 

what would you like to be remembered for? i have no idea. being a non-shitty person at least.

how do you define beauty? happiness.

what do you love most about your body? idk being tall is kinda nice

best way to take a rest/decompress? get a blanket. comfy clothes. my cat. put headphones on. put some music on or watch youtube.

favorite place to view art? on tumblr and instagram! i follow soo many wonderful artists it’s great

if your life was a song, what would the title be? Oh No (What Is She Doing Now?)

if you could master one instrument, what would it be? piano or guitar. i suck at both and if i could be good at ONE i’d be happy

if you had a tattoo, where would it be? been thinking about this tbh. somewhere on my arm definitely but idk where D:

dolphins or koalas? dolphins!!

what’s your spirit animal? a cat?

best gift you’ve ever received? for christmas my sister bought me a cute lil box meant for displaying concert tickets and it was the most thoughtful thing ever. also the AMAZING studio headphones i’m currently using that my mom got me like three years ago for christmas

best gift you’ve given? probably when i bought me and my best friend tickets to see the Sherlock S4 finale in a movie theater 

what’s your favorite board game? cards against humanity, one night ultimate werewolf/alien, settlers of catan

what’s your favorite color? porpleee 💜

least favorite color? hmm they’re all valid except for like. puke green.

diamond or pearls? neither lol

drugstore makeup or designer? neither 😜

blow-dry or air-dry? blow-dry but i never do bc it takes y e a r s

pilates or yoga? yoga!

coffee or tea? both but only hot tea or frozen coffee 

what’s the weirdest word in the english language? thanks to tumblr the word ‘defenestrate’ has entered my vocabulary and I do not regret it

dark chocolate or milk chocolate? either. chocolate is chocolate 🍫

stairs or elevators? tbh stairs, i’m just a lazy bitch

summer or winter? winter. cold > hot

you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? i’d still get tired of it :( i need that variety!!

a dessert you don’t like? none. dessert is dessert and it is all valid if i can eat it

a skill you’re working on mastering? writing, working from home, playing the guitar

best thing to happen to you today? currently watching mike gross play old brobecks tunes :’) he also just saw my comment yay

worst thing to happen to you today? i had cheesecake for lunch. sounds good but it’s the only thing i’ve had today besides a piece of chocolate and my body is Not Happy

best compliment you’ve ever received? someone on fanfiction dot net once left me a comment saying they’d almost cried at my story and called me “a true writer” and it’s honestly one of the only thing that keeps me writing...i’m still mad they weren’t signed in so I’ll never be able to thank them for it.

favorite smell? lemon, cookies, fresh-cut grass

hugs or kisses? hugs!!

if you made a documentary, would it be about? somethin gay probably

last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? honestly...probably “who the fuck is keith” fjadskljfd

lipstick or lipgloss? like peyton said chapstick is the only valid answer

sweet or savory? depends how i’m feelin, love both

girl crush? besides the obvious one (my girlfriend), honestly not many? there’s this one girl i follow on insta who’s big in the panic! fandom and jESUS SHE’S SO PRETTY. also the girl who plays kaia in supernatural is CUUUTE

how do you know you’re in love? has only happened to me once but for me...i already loved her platonically for months and then suddenly one day i was like oh. why am i getting the urge to kiss you rn. oh no.

a song you can listen to on repeat? anything by idkhow or bastille. never gets old.

if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? not to copy peyton but i would love to know what goes on inside my cat’s head

what are you most excited for about this time in your life? next semester of college!! i got into a super-competitive dorm and i’m gonna have my own room and live with nine other people and gahh i’m just so excited to be chaotic with all my friends again and meet new people :’)

[kazeself]

#FOLKLORE BRILLIANT LYRICS

so sorry but i am literally a reinvigorated taylor swift stan b/c folklore has been everything i’ve wanted for years so y’all are gonna have to deal with my shit. here’s a collection of some of my absolute favorite lyric segments from each song. i just need everyone to know that the 1, the teenage love triangle, my tears ricochet, exile, and this is me trying slay me so hard. mad woman is a close contender. i am deeply, personally invested in the 1 and the love triangle though...and it’s only a coincidence that betty and my ex’s name are interchangeable syllable wise.

the 1

“i’m doing good i’m on some new shit, been saying yes instead of no.”

“you know the greatest films of all time were never made.”

“and if my wishes came true it would’ve been you. in my defense i have none for never leaving well enough alone. but it would’ve been fun if you would’ve been the 1.”

“we never painted by the numbers baby, but we were making it count. you know the greatest loves of all time are over now.”

“i, i, i persist and resist the temptation to ask you if one thing had been different would everything be different today?”

“it would’ve been sweet if it could’ve been me.”

cardigan (teenage love triangle #1, betty)

“when you are young they assume you know nothing.”

“sequin smile, black lipstick, sensual politics.”

just the whole fucking chorus and all variations there of throughout the song.

“and when i felt like i was an old cardigan under someone’s bed you put me on and said i was your favorite.”

“a friend to all is a friend to none. chase two girls, lose the one.”

“you drew stars around my scars, but now i’m bleeding.”

“i knew you tried to change the ending, peter losing wendy.” (this was BRILLIANT)

“i knew you’d haunt all of my what-ifs.”

the last great american dynasty

“who knows if she never showed up what could’ve been. there goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen. she had a marvelous time ruining everything.”

“flew in all the Bitch Pack friends from the city.”

“holiday house sat quietly on that beach. free of women with madness, their men and bad habits, and then it was bought by me.” (queen of meta commentary)

“who knows if i never showed up what could’ve been...I HAD A MARVELOUS TIME RUINING EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!”

exile (ft. Bon Iver)

“i think i’ve seen this film before, and i didn’t like the ending.”

“you’re not my homeland anymore, so what am i defending?”

“second, third, and hundredth chances.”

“there’s no amount of crying i can do for you.”

“you didn’t even hear me out (you didn’t even hear me out.) you never gave a warning sign (i gave so many signs) all this time. i never learned to read your mind (never learned how to read my mind). i couldn’t turn things around (you turned things around). cause you never gave a warning sign (i gave so many signs, so many signs, so many signs, you didn’t even see the signs.)”

my tears ricochet

“if i’m on fire you’ll be made of ashes, too.”

“cause i loved you, i swear i loved you, even till my dying day.”

“if i’m dead to you why are you at the wake, cursing my name, wishing i stayed, look at how my tears ricochet.”

“you had to kill me but it killed you just the same.”

mirrorball

“you’ll find me on my tallest tip toes.” (so fricken adorable)

seven

“please picture me in the trees i hit my peak at seven feet in the swing over the creek.”

“cross your heart, won’t tell no other. and though i can’t recall your face i still got love for you.”

“i’ll love you to the moon and to saturn.”

“and just like a folk song our love will be passed on.”

august (teenage love triangle #2, inez)

“but i can see us lost in memory, august slipped away into a moment of time. cuz it was never mine. and i can see us twisted in bedsheets, august slipped away like a bottle of wine, cuz you were never mine.”

“you weren’t mine to lose.”

“but do you remember? do you remember when i pulled up and said ‘get in the car?’” 

“back when i was living for the hope of it all.”

this is me trying

“they told me all my cages were mental, so i got wasted like all my potential.” (slay me six ways to sunday, queen)

“i was so ahead of the curve the curve became a sphere.”

“i just wanted you to know this is me trying...AT LEAST I’M TRYING.”

illicit affairs

“leave the perfume on the shelf that you picked out just for him so you leave no trace behind, like you don’t even exist.”

“a drug that only worked the first few hundred times.”

“don’t call me ‘kid’ don’t call me ‘baby’ look at this godforsaken mess that you made me.”

“you showed me colors you know i can’t see with anyone else.”

“you taught me a secret language that i can’t speak with anyone else. and you know damn well for you i would ruin myself a million little times.”

invisible string

“and isn’t it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me?”

“time, mystical time, cutting me open then healing me fine.”

“cold was the steel of my axe to grind for the boys who broke my heart...now i send their babies presents.”

“hell was the journey but it brought me heaven.”

mad woman

“does she smile or does she mouth “fuck you forever?”” (first f bomb of her catalog and it STILL gibs shivers)

“no one likes a mad woman, you made her like that.”

“and women like hunting witches, too. doing your dirtiest work for you.”

“it’s obvious that wanting me dead really brought you two together.”

“the master of spin has a couple side flings, good wives always know.”

epiphany

“keep your helmet, keep your life son. just a flesh wound, here’s your rifle.”

“crawling up the beaches now, ‘sir i think he’s bleeding out,’ and some things you just can’t speak about.”

“with you i serve with you I fall down, down.”

“only twenty minutes to sleep but you dream of some epiphany. just one single glimpse of relief to make some sense of what you’ve seen.”

betty (teenage love triangle #3, james)

“you heard the rumors from inez, you can’t believe a word she says most times but this time it was true. and the worst thing that i ever did was what i did to you.”

“but if i showed up at your party would you have me, would you want me, would you tell me to go fuck myself or lead me to the garden”

just the whole last verse and lead into the bridge talking about how james ended up doing the fling with inez.

“the only thing i wanna do is make it up to you [...] yeah i showed up at your party will you have me, will you love me, will you kiss me on the porch i front of all your stupid friends?”

“i’m only seventeen, i don’t know anything, but i know i miss you.”

“standing in your CARDIGAN. kissin’ in my car again, stopped at a STREETLIGHT. you know i miss you.”

peace

“a coming-of-age has come and gone.”

“all these people think love’s a show, but i would die for you in secret.”

“would it be enough if i could never give you peace?”

“i talk shit with my friends, it's like I'm wasting your honor and you know that I'd swing with you for the fences.”

“give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other.”

“i’d give you my sunshine, give you my best. but the rain is always gonna come if you’re standin’ with me.”

hoax

“stood on the cliffside screaming ‘give me a reason.’ your faithless love is the only hoax i believe in. don’t want no other shade of blue but you. no other sadness in the world would do.”

“you knew the hero died so what’s the movie for?”

“you knew it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart.”

“my broken drum, you have beaten my heart.”

the lakes (physical bonus track)

WHO KNOWS BITCH I HAVEN’T GOTTEN THE CD DELIVERED YET IT SAYS 2-3 WEEKS!!!!

[purplesurveys]

921

LOL was gone for a while to attempt doing that ridiculous 5000 survey myself again and I really thought I was going to breeze through it this time. 2 1/2 weeks and 2500 questions later, I need a fucking break. Need normal surveys plz.

What was the best thing to happen to you this week? Got to visit Gabie today! I brought Cooper as well so that she, her sisters, and their puppy Tofu could finally meet him. Fun day, but I am beat. The blackout yesterday also made me revisit painting, and that felt so good too.

Where do you put your keys when you get home? It always differs, idk why I never picked up a routine. Sometimes I set it on the dining table, other times on the decorative table in the living room, and other times I bring it up with me to my room.

Do you prefer hot coffee or iced coffee? I preferred hot (warm would be more accurate) for the longest time but once I went iced, I never wanted to go back. 

What's your phone background picture? I recently changed my lock screen to one of Audrey Hepburn. My home screen is still Hayley Williams.

If you could move to any country, what would it be? Anywhere with a clean and honest government sounds like heaven.

Have you ever seen a snake in the wild? No. Can’t say there’s a lot of them here in the city, and I’ve never seen any in my trip to provinces either.

What's your favourite movie from the 80s? Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

Do you have any posters, paintings or other artwork on your walls? I have at least one of each of these, yes.

What would your dream wedding be like? Huge. I’d want a long guest list, expansive food choices, and acts that can provide good music throughout the evening. I never really throw parties for myself, so I would want at least my own wedding to be big.

Would you ever take a trip to space if given the chance? Yesssssss.

How do you cope with anxiety? I'm lucky to have found different outlets, so that said I usually choose from taking surveys, watching a favorite channel on YouTube, turning to my dogs, going to social media to see dumb memes, or taking a nap altogether. Of course there’ll always be those days where none of these work out and I’ll have to just cry through the anxiety attacks until they’re over.

Are you expecting any phone calls or emails? I’m expecting an email from my college, yes. I’m currently applying for civil service eligibility and they’re asking for documents that only the college can provide, so I emailed them a couple of days ago asking for assistance, and that’s considering we’re still under a lockdown and most offices are still under skeleton staffing.

What's the weather like in your part of the world right now? LOVELY. I actually wear oversized sweaters to bed now and I even managed to wear a thick denim jacket out today. The rainy weather has settled beautifully, and I’m perfectly fine with 24ºC-28ºC everyday.

What was the last takeout food you ate? My mom bought me and my siblings a chicken sandwich and chicken nuggets each from McDonald’s last week.

Who makes you laugh the most? Definitely someone from my college barkada. I can’t decide whether it’s Aya, Kate, JM, or Jum; they’re all equally hilarious as fuck.

Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? See these questions are always weird to me because my country has its own naming customs; it’s basically a mix of American and Spanish customs. We have two first names (where Westerners would understand their second ‘first’ name to be their middle name) and our actual legal middle name is our mother’s maiden surname (which I think doesn’t apply at all in the Western world). So to answer this I’ll go with our own customs and say that no, I don’t know of anyone who has the same middle name as me. It’s not a very common surname anyway.

What did you have done the last time you saw a dentist? Had a tooth removed. I don’t think it was a wisdom tooth; it was just a tooth at the back of my mouth that had been in pretty bad shape for years but was only discovered at that time.

What does a successful relationship look like to you? I believe the formula is different for every couple. Like I value constant communication and checkups, but others might not feel the need to be clingy or update their significant others all the time.

What do you like to put on your baked potato? Don’t really have these a lot, but I remember when my mom used to make baked potatoes with bacon and cheese and those were unbelievably good.

What field of science interests you the most? Biology. <3 I’m sure I would’ve taken up medicine if I only wasn’t so bad in the rest of the sciences.

What's the closest shop or restaurant to your house? There aren’t any nearby shops since I live in a gated community, but once you get out of the village’s main gate, the first thing to the left is a McDonald’s. To the right is a small complex with a hair salon, burger place, music school, and one of those boujee stores that sell hype clothing.

Do you have any family that live in another country? So many relatives. We’re Filipinos, man. We migrate everyfuckingwhere. As far as I know I have family living in the US, Canada, Vietnam, Japan, China, Australia, and New Zealand.

What colour is your couch? Gray.

Do you know how to care for plants and keep them alive? Not at all. Every single plant that I’ve been given as a gift or party giveaway has died on me.

What was the most memorable birthday you've had? 18th was awesome. Cruise trip, hotel stay with friends, Tiendesitas + noodle date with Gab. How I got away with three separate celebrations without my parents saying anything about it I’ll never know.

Would you rather go to the beach or the mountains? Beach. The area where I live is mountainous as it is; as someone who’s always lived and studied in the city, a trip to the beach in the province never gets old.

What do you do for work? I don’t have any yet but I’m waiting for openings for our national agency for either history, or culture and the arts. My plans have shifted recently and I’m now eyeing to work for either instead of rotting away while underpaid at a corporate agency.

Have you ever been to see the circus? No. I wouldn’t be interested either; they all just seem so harsh and unethical. 

Are there any words that you hate or make you cringe? Sure.

What is the best house you've ever lived in? The one we live in today has been the most comfortable; but I also hold a lot of nostalgia for my dad’s parents’ house in Tondo because of how raw Manila life was there. Life wasn’t pretty, but it did feel real.

What was the first CD you ever bought? The first CD I actively wanted my parents to buy for me was probably the High School Musical soundtrack, heheh.

Do you look in the mirror before you leave the house? Yeah, always. Wanna make sure my shirt is tucked in properly (if it is), or that my jeans aren’t cuffed funny or whatever else.

What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? I’ve mentioned this before but it was the Indian dessert gulab jamun. Really did not expect the flavor that came in when it hit my mouth.

Have you ever seen someone quit their job in a dramatic way? I’ve never had a legit job, but when Jeuel quit the org a couple of years ago because of ~irreconcilable differences~ between him and us officers in the executive board it did feel a tad bit dramatic and passive-aggressive.

What movie reminds you of your childhood? Shrek 2 or The Game Plan.

Do you know why your parents named you what they did? The singer named Robyn was really big then and they ended up being fans of the name.

Do you have any bills that need to be paid? None of my own. My parents usually pay the family bills immediately, so I don’t think we have any pending payments for now.

What do you like to dip your fries in? Mayonnaise.

Is your house clean or messy right now? It’s always clean as my mom is extremely tidy.

What was the last email you received? It’s one of the job-hunting websites I’ve signed up for, giving me job alerts for new openings in my chosen industries.

Do you know someone who speaks without a filter? Yeah and I know people who do it responsibly and those who just come off as tactless.

Are you in any social groups? We call our college group the Daydrinkers, since our friendship began when we started constantly hanging out at nearby bars at like 2 PM, during our breaks lol. I used to be in a barkada in high school but Angela and I broke apart from that since we couldn’t deal with Athenna’s toxicity anymore, though I still keep in touch with most of them, like Chelsea and Kaira. Since then Angela and I have formed our own group consisting mostly of Angela’s friends from architecture and Hans’ friends from Ateneo.

How many hours of sleep did you get last night? Sigh, around 4. I don’t know why it was so few, but it also means that I’m currently drowsy as all hell at 9:03 PM. I will most likely turn in for bed after this.

What's your favourite kind of museum? Those that cover history, so museums that have artifacts and fossils and shit.

Do you believe in alternate universes? I like the idea, and I love literature that explores the idea of alternate realities, multiple universes, pocket universes, etc. Whether or not I believe they exist...idk. I don’t think about it that much in literal terms. < Yeah pretty much. Gaby Dunn wrote an amazing piece on multiverses and that was what got me to find comfort in the idea.

Whose house did you last visit? I was at Gabie’s place this afternoon. We had burritos, talked about career prospects, and puppy-sat our babies.

What games do you play on your smart phone? I turn to 1010 when I’m bored or anxious. I have like 30 other games but I never touch them lol, but I do keep them should the time be right to whip them out.

Have you ever been to Los Angeles? I have not.

What was the first concert you ever went to? Paramore, February 2013. I was a late bloomer; kids my age started going to concerts at least three years before that.

Do you know anyone who is colourblind? I don’t think so.

What's your favourite season and why? The wet season, because it’s colder and I hate the heat during the dry season.

Are you the youngest, middle or eldest child in your family? I’m the eldest.

If you had to make something for a potluck, what would you make? I recently watched this phenomenal recipe for 48-hour chocolate chip cookies that looked absolutely bonkers when they were done baking. I’d for sure give those a try for dessert. If that fails I’d just buy the food so that what I bring is more guaranteed to be good.

What kinds of decorations do you put up at Halloween? My family has never cared much for Halloween. It’s not even a legit holiday, so as much as I love Halloween I don’t think I would spend for decorations myself to decorate my own place. The only instance I imagine doing so would be if I have kids of my own who may want to get into the Halloween ~spirit.

How many tabs do you have open right now? In my current window, eight.

What's something you've been meaning to do but keep putting off? Taking another online course, just because it’s great to learn new things and earn free certifications while at it. I haven’t been doing a good job at being consistent with them, though.

What's the first thing you check on your phone at the start of the day? Facebook since it’s my primary social media now. Literally never thought this day would come.

Have you ever flown a kite? Yeah but it’s been a while.

Who was your favourite music artist when you were 16? This was the time I was slowly moving away from my punk phase and inching closer to Athenna’s music tastes, so I was into acts like Hozier, Banks, Daya, Twenty One Pilots, etc.

What are three things you usually always have in your fridge? Water, bread, eggs.

[siyeonjisoo]

So this year for my birthday, I took an adventure to the exotic state of Ohio – just for a concert where I could meet someone I have looked up to for over a decade on the actual day of my birthday.  And I guess hang out with some of my Ohio friends.

My friend @ali-kat211 was amazing enough to brave the cold and hang out with my outside the venue all day from like 12:30 until we finally went inside.  Just so I could be the first person to meet Amber.  Thank you for hanging out with me and making this so much fun <3

We were joined by the street team after a while and they called us the real MVPs since we technically even beat them as well as most of the artists.

We sat down and were just chatting and making friends in line when LB (Amber’s support drummer) came out the door and we were sitting in front of and made us all scramble and scream.  This happened so many times, and I think LB was doing it on purpose after the 3rd or 4th time he came out.

We were across the street from the Ohio State Student Union building (I didn’t actually know American universities would have those. I thought that was something the UK made up lol) and would wander over there whenever we needed to use the bathroom or to warm up for a few minutes.  The first time we went over, though, WE RAN INTO JUSTIN.  I saw him walking toward us and I did a double take and then said “Hi, Justin” while all of the folks I was with just thought I was saying hi to someone I knew at first before they also did a double take and recognized us.  He chatted with us for a few seconds and told us to stay warm before he walked inside the back entrance to the venue to eat his lunch.

We got back in line and screamed about it to everyone else but most of us were here for Amber, not Justin or Meg&Dia, so it wasn’t super exciting second-hand.

Time continues to pass and then we get let in for the Meet and Greet maybe like 15 minutes late so around 5:30.  Two of my friends I was with didn’t have M&G so I told them that if they gave me cash, I would get some merch signed by Amber for them so I bought my merch and then stood there trying not to puke before meeting Amber.

We got let into the main area where they were gonna do the event and Justin was just wandering around and we all were just casually chatting with him.  I told him about the group chat we have him added to from the Gone Rogue tour as well as after the NYC stop of this tour and he was really happy to know that we had a good friend group based off of our experiences at his shows.

Amber comes out and walks past us with Leo and, before I even say hi to Amber, I start chatting with Leo.  (Leo is one of the amazingly talented dancers on this tour along with Dom) I told him that me and my friends from the NYC show wanted to know if we could adopt him.  He agreed so everyone stay away from my son Leo, if you hurt him you will die.

And then.  It was time to meet Amber.  I thought they were gonna set up the table and figure things out and I would have to watch them for a few minutes but nope! She called me down right away and was like “come on down, give me a hug!  We’re gonna take a minute to set this up but come and chat” kinda vibes and I almost tripped over my own two feet when she came to collect me from the stairs I was waiting on.  I told her I was from the NYC show and that I made the nickname CuddlePuddle and she was soo happy to hear that.  Her smile kind of blinded me.  She then looked kinda confused about why I was here in Ohio so I explained I came from New Jersey but came all the way to Ohio because this show, on the 13th, was on my birthday and it was my wish to see her and to meet her on my birthday.  I was then the only person she sang happy birthday to out of the whole M&G and it made me feel really special.  She signed the stuff I bought and then we took some pictures and I am never posting one of them because I was too busy laughing (but also worrying about Amber falling over) and feel like I look a lil silly but the other pictures came out awesome.

I walked shakily off to the other side of the theater and just. Collapsed.  Because this was already amazing and I couldn’t imagine things getting much better from here.

We all just stood around waiting for the rest of the M&G to end and were packed in like sardines (with no one wanting to move back but then completely fucking up the line order because folks were just stopping at the front of the crowd that were at the back of the line and I wasn’t having it and I got a lil snappy with folks in order to protect my spot).  Justin was still just wandering around and chatting. He came over and gave me a handshake because I asked him for one as my birthday gift.  He then told us to go and buy some of his merch and then we can attend his M&G after the show so we went running off to buy that since we still had time before the show was gonna start.

Meet and Greet finally ends and Amber waves good bye to us and then we all go running off to get our spots.  I MANAGE TO BE FRONT AND CENTER ON THE BARRICADE.  Literally dead center as marked on the stage.  We all settle in and everyone else gets let in. This is prolly around 7 by now I think.

LB comes out and sits down on the edge of the stage and starts chatting with us.  I told him I came from New Jersey and was actually at the birthday show.  I told him he is birthday twins-ish with my friend and that he gave her his drum stick after that concert since the NYC concert on 2/7 was actually her birthday.  He said he remembered her and that he needed to think of something to do for me.  My friends next to me and I were all hungry too and he was sitting there and pulled out food.  So LB legit gives me and one other person the first 2 bites of his food before he starts eating it himself.  He learns that we have been there since 12:30 and haven’t really eaten much of anything so he decides he’s gonna go off to the back of the venue to the pizza stand and BUYS US A WHOLE FUCKING PEPPERONI PIZZA that we share with the whole crowd, ripping pieces in half and passing them around.  It was actually some of the best pizza I have had in a really long time.  We all decide that he has adopted us and is now a father of five.  Ben comes out and is like “Yo, Justin is waiting for you to move so he can get his set started” so LB scrambles away and like 2 seconds later, the concert starts.

Justin is usual sexy fuckboi self.  I know I should but I can’t help loving that man.  He grabbed my hand and serenaded me and I have never been a more heterosexual human being in my life than those 3 seconds.  I also handed him the second half of my pizza and I think he actually took it off stage and may have eaten it after and I love him.

Meg&Dia come out and they are sooo cute.  Grant is a wonderful drummer and Carlo is super handsome.  I’m sad they didn’t do the acoustic version of Koala like they did in NYC because that was almost hauntingly good but that’s the only thing I think I would have changed about this whole day.

Then it is time.  The moment of truth (pt2).  Amber. I am right in front of her.  The stage is less than an arm’s width away from me and Amber comes pretty close to the edge of it a few times.  I actually got scared at one point when Amber, Leo, and Dom stormed the edge of the stage and kicked out that I was gonna get kicked in the face and flinched and Amber saw and laughed at me a little bit.

I helped remind Amber to drink water and stay hydrated throughout.

When introducing the whole naming of the crowds thing she went through the recent nicknames and THEN POINTED TO ME AND SAID “This girl is the person who came up with the nickname for NYC, she made Cuddle Puddle” AND I TURNED AROUND AND WAVED AT EVERYONE AND GOT APPLAUSE.

I nagged Amber again for eating CDs and she apologized lol

DJ is just super chill and funny.  One point he was clapping along with one of the songs and I copied him and he saw me and pointed at me with a smile.  I think that’s what earned me something that happened later.

After the third song, Get Myself, Amber grabbed my hand and sang to me.  I, feeling a little overwhelmed, looked at my hand and screamed a little bit.  Justin, the lil shit, was sitting in front of the barricade and watching it and so Amber went over to him and did the same hand hold to him.  Justin, I kid you not, looked at me and then FUCKING COPIED ME IN A VERY EXAGGERATED MANNER and I died laughing. After that song, I took literally the best picture I have ever taken in my LIFE

A lot of people started crying during Numb and Amber gave a person behind me her towel because we couldn’t find any tissues. That song almost got me but it was the next song, Borders, that had me literally dry sobbing because I didn’t have the hydration levels to be able to produce tears.

Amber, apparently, learned about LB adopting us and mentioned it and we all waved and said “hi, Dad” and LB waved back at us and I have not felt more proud of a father figure in my life.

Main set ends and everyone goes off stage for a few minutes and some people seemed to think it was legit over and were really happy to learn that there was still some more.

Frozen happens and it is terrifying chaos BUT DAMN CAN AMBER SING.  I feel like she sings that song better than most people who try to do covers of it.

And then POKEMON TIME.  It is the most impossible chaos for them to not be crashing into each other the whole time.

Carlo came out dressed as the Snorlax and just flops down on the stage and looked legit terrified someone was gonna run over him at a couple of moments but there were no accidents.

And then it was over.  We took a picture all together.  The instrumental for Other People was playing while we got situated for that and Amber looked really sappily happy but also kinda embarrassed that we were singing her song to her.

LB gives me his drum stick and wished me a happy birthday again before leaving the stage

DJ comes up with a sheet of paper that we all know is the setlist and people’s hands come flying up and I get crushed against the barricade since everyone behind me pushes up to get it.  He folds it lightly and bats their hands away with it to make sure he GIVES IT TO ME.

We all make our way to the bar and get some water because we are all dying from screaming and singing for 2 hours before we make our way to the line for Justin’s Meet and Greet.  The man is just chatting with folks and taking his time and the venue staff is like “c’mon man, we gotta go” and hurrying him along.  And I think they had a flight to catch so they couldn’t linger, either, since they had a concert in Atlanta the next day.  DJ comes running through the line to take a video and literally trips coming up the stairs.  He showed us after because we were at the end of the line and he needed to show it to someone to laugh off the embarrassment lol.  He edited it out before uploading it to Justin’s Instagram, poor soul.

Justin takes a picture with me eventually and I told him “thanks for making it worth coming all the way from Jersey” and he said something to the effect of you’re welcome and I’ll try to come back soon or whatever and then it is time for the trip back outside to the cold.

So this was the most amazingly wonderful concert experience I think I have ever had. In. My. Life.  And definitely one of the most memorable birthday experiences I think I have ever had. In. my. Life.  Thank you to everyone who was part of it.  I’m writing this 2 days later while I sit in the airport, waiting to fly home and wake up from this wonderful dream.  I’m gonna get home and just cry because the post-concert depression still hasn’t set in because I’m still not sure any of it was even real.  Being back home is going to make it all settle in, I think.

[fearlesssam95]

Taylor Swift time!!!

I became a Swiftie around the same time she was on tour with the Jonas Brothers. Once I heard Teardrops on My Guitar on the radio, it forever changed my life. I bought every CD on each release day and would just lock myself in my room crying to songs or jamming out. Since she had been bullied, I felt I had a special connection with her. I also felt like I could relate to her lyrics because of how many relationship problems I encountered throughout the years. Luckily, nowadays, I relate to more of the happy love songs than the sad love songs.

I became kind of obsessed with her music. I would even dress up on the days her CD’s came out so when people asked why, I could tell them to go buy her new CD.

I have been to 11 Taylor Swift concerts and honestly if I could afford it, I would have gone to a lot more at this point. That first concert I went to I was completely hooked. So hooked I made my mom drive me 4 hours to Cincinnati so I could see another show.

My love for her and her music just kept growing. I skipped my freshman year homecoming in high school just so I could go to her concert. That was my first Taylor Swift concert. I have two brothers, Matt & Justin. Justin went to homecoming that night, so Matt was “stuck” taking me to the concert. At the time he wasn’t much of a fan, but now, even 10 years later, he is absolutely OBSESSED. I would like to think that it’s my fault, lol.

The concert dates I have been to include:

Fearless Tour:

October 3, 2009 in Cleveland, Ohio (I went with Matt)

March 28, 2010 in Cincinnati, Ohio (I went with my mom because I begged her to buy me tickets for my birthday February 6)

Speak Now World Tour:

July 30, 2011 in Cleveland, Ohio (I went with Matt and his friend Brad)

Red World Tour:

April 25, 2013 (I went with my friend Rebecca. We had seats up in the 200 sections, but some other friends at the concert went to Guest Services and told them it was my birthday and asked if they could have their seats moved so they could sit with Rebecca and I. They actually moved all of us to a 100 section right next to the stage. It was one of the best nights of my life. Matt couldn’t go because he was in college and it close to finals week.)

May 8, 2013 in Columbus, Ohio (Matt wanted to go to a concert, so I just HAD to go with him and Brad again! It was becoming a tradition lol)

July 6, 2013 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania (Honestly we just wanted to go to one last concert… lol)

1989 World Tour:

June 3, 2015 in Cleveland Ohio (I went with my friend Courtney, and Matt and Brad. Unfortunately Matt & Brad had to sit separate from us because they wouldn’t allow us to buy 4 handicapped accessible seats together)

June 6, 2015 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania (I went with my best friend at the time Alexis, Matt, and Brad. This was also the first concert I dressed up for! Pics later)

September 7, 2015 in Columbus, Ohio (Matt bought tickets the day of… It was literally a last minute thing because it was close and we wanted to see her again. I was at school in Dayton, he was at home in Cleveland. We both drove to Columbus and met up so we could go to the concert together!)

reputation World Tour:

July 7, 2018 in Columbus, Ohio (Matt went to college to be an Air Traffic Controller. He finally got into the Academy last summer. He was sent to Oklahoma City for about 5 months. This was the only close concert that was on a Saturday so he could fly from Oklahoma City to Columbus. His girlfriend drove alone a day early to spend some time with him, and Rich drove me down the next day. Matt, his girlfriend Tess, and I went to the concert together. We dressed up of course and made tons of signs! Pics again will come later. Special shoutout to Rich because he drove me to Columbus, got breakfast with Matt, Tess and I, drove back to Cleveland because he had tickets to the Indians game the same day, then drove back to Columbus that night to pick me up after the concert)

July 18, 2018 in Cleveland, Ohio (This was Taylor’s first show at Browns Stadium and I really wanted Rich to experience a Taylor Swift concert, so him and I went. Matt was still in Oklahoma City, unfortunately, and it was a Wednesday night so he had class both the day of and the next day)

 Matt has been to two more concerts without me (mostly because I couldn’t afford any more). He went with his girlfriend Tess, our other brother Justin, and his girlfriend Kelsey to the concert in Indianapolis, Indiana on September 15, 2018. This was during his break from graduating the Academy and before he was sent out to California for training. This concert was kind of ruined for him, however, because he got a call that our friend Tony had committed suicide. It was a rough time for all of us. I wish I could’ve been there with him when he got the news. Thank god Tess and Justin were.

The other time Matt saw Taylor without me was this Summer in LA. He currently lives in Tracy, California. His girlfriend is still in school, but she went out to live with him for the summer. They drove 5 hours down to LA just to see Taylor Swift perform at the Wango Tango concert. I still am so jealous!

[ikesenhell]

Falling

You can find all other IkeSen works of mine here or become a Patron of mine! NOTES: This was a commission for @psychedelicaya! Thank you so much! Slight warning of mild reference to disturbing content.

She made herself known, and that was difficult to do. He pulled long enough hours that eventually all of the residents blurred together (except for the ones that made stupid mistakes--those he remembered and kept away from his patients). Dr. Ieyasu Tokugawa didn't have time to play professor to the residents. Never mind that he’d been one himself recently; he had obligations of a caregiver, and it was the responsibility of the students to learn at a safe, comfortable distance.

But she stood out immediately.

Part of it was her manner. Ieyasu had plenty of nurses and doctors around that knew how to set others at ease. He’d never mastered that himself. His specialty was cardiology, not people. But every time they wheeled someone from the ER into his wing, her at their side, the patients were calm and collected, no matter the situation.

“Dr. Tokugawa is great,” she assured them. He paused to snap on his gloves and soak in the sound of her voice. He’d never caught her last name. One of the other techs called her ‘Aya’, so Ieyasu assumed that was her name, but it felt so unprofessional to refer to her by it that he stayed from calling her anything at all. “He’ll take care of you.”

“Awful young, isn’t he?”

Ieyasu pretended he didn't hear that. Aya pressed on, comforting and warm. “He’s the best doctor in the wing. You’re in great hands.”

He didn't know how to thank her for the compliment. She liked coffee, so one day on an impulse he bought a gold thermos and tucked it onto the residents station in the ER with a simple note reading only her name. The next day he heard a knock on his office door.

Aya waved the thermos at him. “Was this you?”

Ieyasu stared, nonplussed. “How did you know?”

“Mr. Date said it looked like your handwriting.”

Of course. His best friend and administrator had sold him out. Uncertain where to go from there, Ieyasu quickly answered, “It was a sign of appreciation for your compliment, as well as an acknowledgement of your passable efforts with the patients. Plus, your other thermos is tacky.”

She smiled and his heart froze in his throat. How unfair that expression was! It was almost as if the sunshine came streaming in through the ceiling and hovered around her. How did she have the power to transform the whole hallway? “Yellow is my favorite color. Thanks.”

Ieyasu couldn’t think of anything to say other than, “Mine too. You’re welcome.”

---

Months passed. Her smile became something of a fixture in his life. No matter the rain or storm or sleet, she appeared for her long hours and tense shifts with a smile on her face and the hard determination that so many others lacked. Sometimes she spotted him in the hallways and waved her thermos, eyes sparkling. Ieyasu couldn’t decide if he hated or loved that she kept it on her.

“You’re sweet on her.” Masamune grinned over a late night feast at the local diner, both of them still in their work clothes and not entirely up to the task of going home and cooking dinner.

“Don’t be foolish,” Ieyasu snapped, spearing a potato wedge a little too forcefully. “She’s just a resident. If she doesn’t have a breakdown by the end of the month, I’ll be somewhat surprised.”

“You bought her a present.”

“It was unfair of me not to acknowledge the compliment. Besides. Anything more than that is unprofessional.”

Masamune looked every inch the meme of the smug cat surrounded by knives, but he tucked into his eggs benedict and didn't say anything more.

---

Ieyasu was walking back to his office next week when he heard the soft huff of a sob in the corner. He slowed, mentally calculating his path. Dealing with a crying patient was the last thing he did well--but there was no other way. Whoever they were, they were lingering in the same little cubby space with the vending machines, and his feet would carry him straight past them. Flipping open a folder, he pretended to be in deep thought and strode purposefully by--

Only to halt in his steps.

“Aya?” He asked, daring to say her name aloud for the first time. She started, wiping her eyes.

“Dr. Tokugawa.” Her smile was weak. “Sorry. I thought--I thought you went home for the day.”

“Paperwork,” he answered. Did he ask? Did he dare? She wrapped her arms around herself, smelling of the peppermint oil they sometimes slathered in the ER when a horrid stench permeated the halls. “What--is something--are you okay?”

“I--” Desperately her eyes roved everywhere but him, welling with tears again. “Sorry. We had a burn victim. Baby.”

Oh.

Ieyasu stood there a moment longer, flipping the folder uncertainly in his hand before motioning to her. “Come with me.”

“Dr. Tokugawa…?”

“Ieyasu,” he corrected, uncomfortable in the moment, “Just Ieyasu. Come with me.”

Together they dipped into his cramped office. He turned on the comforting yellow light and motioned a chair, which she sat on, before he flipped on a white noise machine by the doorway.

“Go on.”

She stared blearily at him. “What?”

“It’s a tough job,” he murmured. “Go on. You’re allowed to cry.”

As if permission were what she wanted all along, Aya burst into sobs. He just sat there with her, rubbing her back in slow circles and letting her mourn a child she’d barely known.

---

After that, things were… different.

It started when she left a handwritten note in his office, thanking him for letting her cry it out. Ieyasu didn't know what to do other than leave a small packet of good coffee for her in the residents office. Then it turned into them having small conversations in the hallway and exchanging music recommendations. Ieyasu even went so far as to burn her a CD.

“Is this a mix tape?” She asked, the laughter spilling from those pretty lips. Ieyasu wondered what they tasted like for only a second.

“Look, you don’t have to take it if you don’t want to.”

“No. No, no. I do.” Aya clutched it to her chest and smiled at him. “I’m just feeling a bit like a teenager right now.”

He was too, but he wasn’t entirely sure if it was for the same reasons, so he kept it to himself. Instead he watched her flit through the ER in whatever brief glimpses he was allowed. She teased Dr. Sarutobi and roasted Dr. Sanada with the best of them. When she split pizzas with the other residents, she would pop by and give him a spare slice, sure to give him that smile and light up his office just by existing. He didn't care for pizza (not much, at least), but her--

It was a dangerous thought, but he couldn’t help but entertain it.

One cold December night he was on his way back to the garage when he saw her standing at the bus station, hands tucked into her pockets and breath circling skyward. Thick flakes tumbled around her. Ieyasu wondered if they sold that picture on a postcard.

“Hi.”

She blinked up at him and smiled. “Hi.”

“The bus stopped running an hour ago.”

“Did it?” Aya frowned and reached for her phone. “I thought I read it right…”

“I thought you had a car.”

“I do. It’s in the shop. I’ve never ridden the bus before.”

Ieyasu thought over his options for a half-second before motioning for her to follow him. “I’ll drive you home.”

“I wouldn’t want to impose--”

“It’s no trouble.”

She fell into step beside him, their arms brushing and sending electric sparks shooting all over his body. God. How could he be cold with her there? They stepped into the garage and he unlocked his modest Honda, both of them slipping into the frigid interior.

“God.” She sniffed. “It’s freezing.”

Something born from habit of being around Masamune kicked in. Without thinking, Ieyasu offered, “Want to get hot chocolate?”

“Yeah! That sounds great.”

They both paused as if realizing what had happened, Ieyasu with the keys barely in the ignition. It was another beat before he started the car. What was he doing? But--but she’d said yes, and something in his stupid, stupid heart soared.

He drove them over to the twenty-four hour Starbucks. The snow was falling fast, drifting up against the curb, and together they bundled inside and ordered their twin hot chocolates. Something about it felt so natural that Ieyasu almost forgot his reservations, his position, all of the duties that stood between the two of them. It was just her, her, her, Aya, this lovely woman who graced him with her time and smile. She talked about grad school and residency and he offered her advice, their knees nested together as they huddled up by the window.

“It’s getting late, isn’t it?” She laughed, tossing her long-ago drained cup into the trash. “What time is it, even?”

Ieyasu checked his watch. “Nearly two am.”

“We’re probably bothering the staff here.”

The very real possibility he was bothering her struck fear in his heart. “I should get you home.”

But--much to his surprise--Aya frowned at that. “Aw. Are you sure? We could do a sortie around the block and then go, just so we can get into the snow.”

“Fine.”

She ordered a second hot chocolate and they scooted around in drifts on the sidewalk. Before he had the sense to feel what was coming, Aya hopped to the nearest car and packed a snowball from the hood. “Heads up!”

“What the--” An instinct born of being around Masamune kicked in; Ieyasu barely dodged the ball and watched it smack harmlessly into the Starbucks.

Oh no. This was war. Without a second thought he dove for his car, loading up ammunition and pelting her. She screamed and raced around the parking lot, her infectious laughter echoing through the night. Back and forth they went, snow flying and loading in his hair and hers, the thick flakes replenishing their supply almost as fast as they used it--and then she slipped on the pavement.

“Are you ok?” Ieyasu raced to her as fast as he dared on the slick ground. She was smiling still, just rubbing her hip and shaking her head. “Let me check you over.”

“I’m fine, I’m fine! I promise.” She blinked at him, her eyelashes dusted with flakes and her smile as radiant as the white winter around her, her cheeks pale from the frost. God. His heart beat so loud in his chest that he wondered if she might hear him.

“You swear?” He asked.

Aya’s smile faded. And it was a second--only a split second--where she cast her eyes to his mouth.

He took the cue.

She tasted like snow and chocolate and whipped cream and the sunlight she so often was. He pulled away and she whispered a faint uh uh, dragging him back in by the collar and kissing him right back. All of his fears and obligations melted away in her radiance, the soft drift of flakes around him forgotten. Ieyasu curled his whole body around hers and gave her everything she wanted.

It was a long, long time before they broke apart again. Her smile was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“Again?” She asked.

“You’re greedy,” he responded, and leaned in once more.

[manabingu]

Metrocon 2019!

Hey yall sorry I haven't been as active, I was busy literally every single day of Metrocon and I finally got a breather. Anyway I wanna just summerize what I can remember because I don't wanna completely forget these wonderful memories. I wanna look back at em over and over again 💕

THURSDAY:

Thursday was the 5 year anniversary of my Gundam Wing cosplay group! I got to hang out with my Metrowing buds and we did a nice photoshoot with the pilots and we had so much fun! I miss them dearly cuz they live out of state but the time I had with them is one I always cherish.

I pretty much spent the whole day with them and I decided that Thurs/Fri would be autograph day for us. By golly the VAs were all so super sweet. All of them loved the candy and the pictures I made for them and as I predicted I got really emotional and kinda cried in front of Luci Christian cuz she is one reason I wanted to VA. Her range is insanely versatile! I legit would call her the Meryl Streep of anime & she was SO kind to me ;///;! When I started crying she said "Don't ever apologize for being real. You're a very sweet person, & I believe in you, there is always room for everyone in this industry ❤️"

And man I just felt so happy at that. She makes me feel confident and I wanna keep trying my best. Same with Josh, Alexis, David & Kara! They were all super encouraging and OmG like ok I think I astral projected when Josh did Armin's or Yuri's voice when he was signing stuff. I teared up QwQ I love his energy and dedication!

I think one of my fave moments during the autographs was when I made the "I'm gonna Bertell you what I Bertold him" joke and David and Josh absolutely lost it xD! They were like OMG WE NEED THAT AS A TSHIRT FOR DAVID XD! Like "You just got BERTOLD" and then they proceeded to make jokes about how he roasted Armin in many ways xD it was hilarious 😂! But oof.

I spent most of the Thursday browsing the Dealer Room and this is was one of the first times I was able to find new Takanori Nishikawa CDs so I bought some that I don't have TTwTT I was so happy! We ended the day by doing a run through of our performances for Anime Idol with Trowa. And it went really well🎶Also, at the cosplay booth, the staff liked my sis' Clear Card Sakura so much they asked her to enter the cosplay hallway contest and I'm so proud of her cuz this her first cosplay ever ^u^- she looks so cute! And many people wanted her pic all weekend :D

FRIDAY:

As usual this is Anime Idol day and I was super busy prepping. I was a bit more confident now that I finally had performed in front of a test audience. But as usual I am always still nervous no matter how much I prepe. Luckily for me in the morning I was getting last minute autographs and as I was getting Darker Than Black signed by Luci, I commented on Anime Idol and she said break a leg! I had given her an Ochaco mug as a gift which made her SUPER happy 😊! I felt much more confident after that and I went to the Main Events hall happily soon after.

Anime Idol was really fun this year! There was some nervousness from the contestants but we all just got together and made some fun friendships! I'm so proud not only of Mama Trowa but also of the other contestants I mentored or was able to help feel less nervous. The winners did deserve it! It was a very good act! And as for myself, I advertised a bit and got some new people from the toku community to come watch the show! I even saw a Kamen Rider Geiz cosplayer who came to the show it was AWESOME! My bffs who were only there for Friday also came & a few Golden*Star members too I was just so happy and thankful! They really made my day! My bffs were dressed in Ghibli heroines and OMG they were lovely & we did a small Tik Tol together ^_^ it was fun!

After the show my new Golden*Star member came up to me and I legit almost cried cuz they were SUPER adorable and kind and they had prepared a Cecil Ajima merch box for me saying thanks for allowing them to join and that they look up to me as a mentor and friend and I'm so happy I had waterproof eyeliner that day cuz oh boy that hit me in the feels 😭! I love! I got them back tho, for initiation I got down on one knee and gave em a flower bouquet,haichews & a golden star balloon as a way to welcome them to the Utapri cosplay group! So now we have a lovely new Tokiya 😊 yay!

SATURDAY:

Ok so despite loosing one prop, Saturday was really fun! I finally debuted Poppy Pipopapo and I basically used the entire day to find video game character cosplayers and we got to dance with them! I was shooting a music video for People Game for Kamen Rider Ex-Aid Abridged ^u^! Everyone whom I asked to dance with me was excited for it and it was a blast! I loved being able to spread so much fun and positivity as Poppy :) it was a dream cosplay come true! I can't wait to pit the vid together ^^🌸💕🎼🎵🎶! Later at night, I ran into my new friend who is gonna be Tokiya (they were dressed as Eiichi & their bud was Kira from HE★VENS!) we spent a good 2 hrs taling about all our future plans with Golden*Star and their other friend was so impressed with how friendly our Utapri group was that they wanted to join ;w; it was actually really sweet💕

SUNDAY:

Was THE BIG DAY AT LAST. The very first time my Utapri cosplay group Golden*Star Cosplay would finally have our first meeting/photoshoot together as ST☆RISH & QUARTET NIGHT! And it went flawless like a dream! Guys, omg I hit a milliom dollar jackpot. I love this group so much 😭! Everyone was on time, we all worked together so well, the photoshoot went perfectly! And we livestreamed it! After the photos, we sang Reiji a Happy Birthday 🎁 cuz it was his character bday the day before & I bought cupcakes and fried chicken for everyone xD! Cuz that's what Shining Live said happened fffff. In the most complimentary way, I feel like this cast is so on point, we are all pretty much our characters xD! I thought managing an 11 member group would be too hard at first but we have all grown so close over this year & we all have so much love and respect for one another, we all just felt so natural hanging out, as of we had done this for years ;U; ! It was lovely!

We tried stalling saying goodbye cuz we didn't wanna leave ;///; but we had to. We are still planning to watch Maji Love Kingdom as a group when SentaiFilmworks gives the green light for theatrical releases. But for now we will work hard to make HolMat even better! I love them all and can't wait to keep working together to make more wonderful memories! See yall next con!

[grimreapercatsnake]

Meeting Taylor In Minneapolis❤️

Let's flashback to 12 years ago when I first heard "Tim McGraw" on the radio, I wasn't sure who was singing the song but I knew from that moment that whoever was singing it was talented. I asked who was singing that song to the people in the car and they said "That's Taylor Swift". I had no clue who Taylor Swift was but I immediately went online to see who this girl was and I saw that she had an album out and I had to go pick up the CD at the store so I could listen to the whole thing. After I listened to her first whole album I couldn't wait until her next album was released.

Now let's jump forward to 2018. My friend and I had bought tickets for us and my sister to the reputation Stadium tour in Minneapolis in December of 2017 and had to keep the concert a secret from my sister, Alison, because we were going to surprise her the day of the concert with the tickets. A long 9 months went by waiting for the concert to come around and the week of the concert finally approached us and we were so excited. That whole week leading up to the concert was filled with so many good luck signs and we had such a weird gut feeling about going to the show. We had all of our outfits planned out and ready to go and we had to make sure we had stuff for my sister to wear because she had no idea she was even going. We chose to wear camouflage and an old Taylor concert shirt.

The day of the show show finally rolled around and I got to surprise my sister with the tickets that Saturday morning and she was so excited to go, the first thing she said was "when is it?" Lucky for her it was that night and she didn't have to wait 9 months to go to it!

One thing that I still remember to this day is what my mom said to me before we left our house was, "If you meet Taylor you need to be nice to your sister and let her enjoy that moment too." And I immediately said back, "Mom, I doubt it will happen, there's a 1% chance that we will even see Mama Swift and meet Taylor."

So, we packed up into my parents car and headed to my friend Abby's house to get ready for the concert with a few other friends we met on Twitter who were going to the show with us. Multiple tubes of glitter later and all our "13's" written on our hands, we were finally ready to head to U.S. Bank Stadium and get in line to get into the concert.

We got to the stadium about twenty minutes before the gates opened so we waited in line for that time and took some pictures and talked about what we were excited to see that night. Time flew by and they opened up the gates and it was time for the moment we have been waiting for for 9 long months. This was the first time I had been to the new stadium and it was so gorgeous and it's so hard to explain its beauty in words.

Before we went to our seats we had to go pick up our floor wristbands from a certain section on the concourse so we were able to get to our seats and after we all picked up our floor seats we went in and there it was. The stage. It was so big. I had only ever seen pictures online of what the stage looked like but seeing it in person was breath taking.

We got to our seats finally and our seats were in the perfect spot. We had no seats behind us, we had end seats and we had a big open space to dance our little hearts out. I couldn't believe that this was all happening in the moment.

Our friend Kaitlyn, who had bought a ticket last minute and came from Chicago to go to the show with us didn't have a ticket by us but had a floor seat. She didn't want to go back to her seat yet and be alone so she stayed with us during the opening acts. Taylor's opening acts are phenomenal. Charli XCX put on one hell of a show and got the crowd pumped up for Camila Cabello. Camila is just a little darling, she's so cute and little that everything she does I want to cry.

After Camila, Taylor was next. Kaitlyn was ready to go back to her seat but before she left she said to us, "Not to say anything is going to happen or get your hopes up or anything but there were people from Taylor Nation watching you guys during both of the opening acts." My heart just stopped and I couldn't believe what she told us. Abby, Alison and I told ourselves to not think about that during Taylor's set because we didn't want to get our hopes up.

I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT MY BAD REPUTATION... it was finally time. Joan Jett blasted over the stadiums speakers and we all knew. Taylor was coming on stage after this song was done. We were dripping sweat, our glitter was everywhere and our hair was a mess but we didn't care. We were so ready for Taylor to come on stage.

The lights dimmed, the light up bracelets sparkled, screams echoing in the stadium and "Baby let the game begin," was heard over the speakers. Alison, Abby and I had already lost our voices but we were screaming so much when we heard those five words and finally she finally arose from under the stage in a black sparkle onesie and over-the-knee boots that just looked so stunning in the stage lights. ...Ready For It? got the crowd going crazy and we were in tears because we couldn't believe Taylor was right in front of us.

Four songs in her set went by and by this time Abby, Alison and I were so tired and sweating so much but we kept going because we were having so much fun and didn't want to miss any memories to be made. End Game was the next song in Taylor's set and one of my top three favorites on the album. This was the song I was most excited to see live because it's my favorite and I heard that she performed End Game so cool at the show. It was about halfway through the song and I was taking a Snapchat video of my singing "Big reputation, big reputation," and I didn't hear Abby say this to me but she yelled "Mama Swift showed up!" Since I didn't hear that (I later then heard it in my video weeks later when I was watching it) I could hear my sister talking to someone and I thought to myself how does my sister know someone here well enough to be talking to them and I turned around and it was Andrea Swift, Taylor's mom.

After I turned and saw Andrea, I tapped Abby on the shoulder and she turned around and we all screamed "Hi!!" She said to us "Have I seen you guys before? You guys look really familiar." We were like "No no no no!" and then she proceeded to say "Are you girls sure I've never seen you before?" and at this point we were crying because we knew that the next few questions that were coming were the ones we've were waiting for all night. "And you would never tell a lie to me, right?" and we all yelled in tears "NO!!!" and she then said "How does meeting Taylor in rep room after the show tonight sound?" and we yelled in her face "YES" and she gave us a big group hug and left and one of the members from Taylor Nation stayed to give us the rep room slip and our meet and greet wristbands. I've always seen videos and posts online about this happening to other people but never in a million years would I think this would happen to US.

After we got our paper and wristbands we all called our family to tell them we were meeting Taylor after the show and the service in the stadium was spotty so we couldn't hear much of what they were saying to us over the phone but I all I remember saying was "I can't hear anything you guys are saying but we're meeting Taylor after the show okay bye!"

King Of My Heart was the song after End Game and that song I honestly don't remember at all, I was to in shock with what just happened and I couldn't physically focus on what was going on stage and before I knew it she was standing on our side of the stage doing her speech before she sang Delicate. She was so close to us and Abby and I just looked at each other and said "We're meeting her tonight, we get to hug her tonight." Taylor got on her little glitter ball that flew her across the stadium over to her first b-stage where she sang Tied Together With A Smile. We couldn't see any of the b-stages but we sang and danced our little hearts out that whole time.

When Taylor made her way back to the main stage it was the end of the show and all I can remember from that was the water fountain coming on stage and Taylor singing This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, taking her final bow of the night and going under the stage. It was chaos after the show, people grabbing confetti, taking pictures and trying to find their way out of the stadium, but us on the other hand had to quickly make our way across the stadium to another section to meet Taylor Nation and the other people who were given rep room passes that night. We made our way to the section and saw everyone else in the section and we finally realized that this was actually happening and we were going to meet Taylor.

We filled out a few things on an iPad and once everyone was done filling things out, a Taylor Nation team member went over the rules for us before hand that way we had more time in the room to take pictures and socialize with everyone. They then brought us all backstage and we had to leave all our stuff on a table outside of rep room before we could go in and the moment we've all been waiting for all night was right there in front of us.

We walked into the room and it was so beautiful. There was so many things in there that I couldn't believe were in there. The throne from the Look What You Made Me Do video was there, the infamous Delicate dress, the rainbow dress from the End Game music video, the red throne dress and the black body suit with rep in silver sparkles from the LWYMMD video were in there as well. The walls were made of just fabric hanging down in gold and black, one wall was actually the wall from the outside scene from the Delicate video. We were given Instax polaroid cameras and film to be able to take pictures since we could't have our phones with us. I got to take many photos and having them as polaroids makes them so much more special, living the moment over again is so easy with those.

After about 45 minutes hanging out, eating food and socializing with other people in the room, Taylor Nation told us it was time to line up to get ready to meet Taylor because she was back in a curtained off room waiting for us to meet her. We all got lined up and were waiting for the moment to finally happen and as we were all standing there Taylor peeked her head out of the curtain, doing her head swoop and said "hey guys!"and I couldn't believe she was standing right there in front of us and I yelled quietly "you're fake!" and my friend Kejana, who also got rep room, heard me but didn't tell me until later. Taylor then proceeded to say "I can't wait to meet you all and my mom is here and she's going to come hang out with you guys before you come back here and meet me! See you guys back here." In this moment I couldn't believe this this was actually happening in minutes.

Andrea came out of the curtain after Taylor peeked her head out and started talking to the group ahead of us before they went in to meet Taylor. A few minutes went by and we were next, Andrea came and talked to us and the feeling of talking to Taylor's mom was so unreal. She was so genuine and cared about us as people, she asked us where we went to school, what our names were and how old we were. The time with Andrea went by so fast and we were up next to meet Taylor, the moment I had dreamed about for 13 years was finally happening.

The curtains opened and Taylor looked at us and said "hey guys!" and we said "Taylor, you look so good!" and her response to us was "No, you guys look so good! All your glitter is so cute." We then all hugged her and afterwards Abby had her moment with Taylor to tell her the things she wanted to tell her. During Abby's time with Taylor I noticed a piece of hair stuck on Taylor's sweatshirt, the OCD in me kicked in and I grabbed it off of her shirt and she looks at me and says "Oh my gosh, thank you so much." and I looked at her and said "I gotchu girl, no worries." After Abby's moment, it was my turn to talk to Taylor so, I said "Taylor can I tell you two things?!" and she said "Yes! Of course" and I said "For one, we just told my sister about the concert this morning and we've had the tickets since December. We kept it a secret for so long" and she goes "What! No way that is insane" and proceeded to look at my sister and said "that's so awesome!" My sister told Taylor "I've been going to your concerts since I was 5," and Taylor's response was to give my sister a high five and to tell her "You go girl that is so cool."

The second thing that I wanted to ask Taylor was something about her cats, Meredith and Olivia. I asked her "how are your cats doing?!" and she told me that they are doing so good and are as fluffy as ever! I then asked her if they were there in the stadium with her that night and she said "Yes. Of course, they are always with me and are usually just chilling in the dressing room." The inner child inside of me just exploded of happiness because I have loved those cats my whole life and always wanted the chance to ask Taylor about them or meet them in general.

After that I told her that I attended the Rascal Flatts concert in 2008 when she opened for them and was the first time Taylor performed in Minnesota as an artist and her eyes lit up and was so happy. She said to me "That was so long ago, you've been here a long time. I'm so sorry it took so long to meet you, I love you." and in that moment, her eyes never losing contact with mine, I knew she loved me and I knew she felt the connection with me. We then continued to talk about my shirt that I was wearing, because it was a concert shirt from the Fearless Tour which took place in 2009-2010 and I turned around and said "Taylor do these stops and date ring a bell?" and I couldn't see the look on her face but Abby told me when I turned around her eyes lit up and she was so happy to see that shirt and be reminded of that tour. During the time when I turned around I showed her my shorts I made for the show, with rhinestones and glitter and how it all came off and she said "but they're still so cute. I love them!"

The conversation between us started to die down and Abby asked her if she would write down stuff for us so we can get it tattooed and she hesitated at first because she isn't supposed to personalize anything but the security guy handed her the sharpie and paper and she wrote down lyrics from Holy Ground for my friend (I won't say which ones just to keep that special to Abby) and wrote down "I love you." for me. I couldn't think of lyrics at the top of my head when she asked me what I wanted her to write down and I knew the I love you from her would help me through a lot of things I go through in life. As she wrote these things down for us we kept asking her for things and she said while laughing "you guys! I can't write all this down" and continued to giggle. She was so sweet and so kind to us.

When she finished writing things down for us she said "you guys ready to take a picture?" and we were so excited for this moment and we asked her what pose she thinks we should do and she said to my sister to go in front of her because she's tall and my sister wouldn't cover her and after that she grabbed me and Abby so tight and pulled us in for a bear hug. I felt her head tilt onto mine and I lost it. I was so happy and content with life in that moment. The flash went off and that was it. I asked her for one more hug before we left and she said to me "of course babe!" and we left the room. 10 minutes of my life have never gone that fast before.

We walked outside where security brought our other friends to wait for us to come out and as we walked out the doors they all were screaming up and down and hugging us and asking how it was. We were still all in shock and we told them all the most memorable parts and showed them the things Taylor wrote down for us. We hung outside for a little bit afterwards to see other people come outside after meeting Taylor and everyone was so happy and that was everything to me.

Writing this was emotionally hard for me to process all over again. It took me almost two months to be able to put it all into words. I am so thankful for this moment I had meeting Taylor with my sister and best friend. Something I dreamed of for countless years. Even though this story is over 3,000 words, the words still don't do justice to what happened that night.

All I can say is, I was enchanted to meet you Taylor.

@taylorswift @taylorswift

[cincinnatiswiftie]

Thank You, @taylorswift

It has never been a secret for the people that know me that I have always been a big Taylor Swift fan. While for years I have dealt with my friends and coworkers giving me a hard time about being such a die hard “Swiftie,” I have never truly put into words why her music and the way she lives her life inspires me so much.

I have loved music ever since I was old enough to sing. One of the best memories I have as a child was singing and dancing with my grandpa in the living room to country music like Alan Jackson and my personal favorite at the time, the Dixie Chicks. I was diagnosed with juvenile idiopathic arthritis when I was 18 months old and was limited from doing the normal physical activity you would expect of a kid going through elementary school and junior high. By the time my rheumatologist signed off on sports, it was too late. I played, but man, was I terrible. I always just felt extremely disconnected from other kids on the team because they have all been playing together for four years or more at that point. Music was the one thing I had and still to this day it is what helps me get through some of the worst days of my disease.

When I first heard Taylor Swift, I was actually on MySpace and she had just released a few songs like “Tim McGraw” and “Tear Drops On My Guitar.” When her full album came out I went to Target and bought it. After listening to the album on my CD player, sitting in my room alone, it was the first time I felt as though someone was putting into words how I was feeling – but I never knew how to say it.

Living with this disease my whole life has been challenging to say the least. It always used to be something where I thought, “It is what it is, you can’t change it so there is no since in being upset about it.” Continuing to tell myself that only made living everyday worse and worse. I was miserable, in pain, and I felt completely alone until I heard “Tied Together With a Smile:”

“Hold on, baby, you’re losing it

The water’s high, you’re jumping into it

And letting go

And no one knows

That you cry, but you don’t tell anyone

That you might not be the golden one

And you’re tied together with a smile

But you’re coming undone”

I remember being 13 years old and thinking, “Holy crap, I am not alone. Someone gets it.” From that day on, I have been the biggest Taylor Swift supporter I can be and she continues to help me through my worst days by putting into words things that I never could.

Some days with my disease are harder than others. Not only do I struggle with my arthritis which has touched every joint in my body, but I also have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, which attacks the nerves and leaves me feeling restless most nights. Most days I struggle to open my jaw wide enough to take a large bite of food and in the winter I have a constant limp when I walk. I also have struggled with depression, and this is part of my story that I do not openly talk about. I have always been the type of person who felt the need to make sure everyone else was happy, I strived to be loved and to be liked. The older I became the harder dealing with and understanding my disease had become. Taylor Swift and her music helped me through some of my darkest days.

The last example I will give you is from 2015. My fiance, now husband, bought us tickets to see the 1989 tour when she was visiting Columbus and I was so excited. Yes, we had nose bleed seats – but I couldn’t wait. During the 1989 set Taylor talks to the crowd in between two songs. Each stop was a little different, but she sticks with the same points and I really want to share it with you. Here is Taylor’s “Clean” speech from Columbus, on September 18th, 2015:

“You are not the opinion of somebody who doesn’t know you. You are not damaged goods if you have made mistakes in your life. And you are not going nowhere just because you haven’t gotten where you want to go yet. The way I think it works is that you are brave, and wiser, and stronger, and smarter because you took the risks that it takes to trust people, to be open, to be loving, and to make mistakes. And maybe people will hurt you, maybe people will take advantage of you, maybe you’ll get betrayed more than the cynical people. But I think your life will be so much more beautiful if you stay open and you stay loving.”

Yes, I am very aware that Taylor Swift will never know my name or my struggles. But I hope through all the negative press, snake emojis, and made-up celebrity feuds that she knows that even through all that, she has helped a lonely 13-year-old girl grow up to be a strong woman. I will always fight for her because her music has helped me become the person I am today.

[alwaysracheljoyscott]

Columbine Angel      by: Dee Fleming

My husband, Don, and I pulled into the high school parking lot that cold December afternoon. It had been 20 months since the shootings. Twenty months, and still I could hardly bear to look at that building.

Sometimes it seemed like only 20 minutes since the April day in 1999 when we waited with the hundreds of other frantic parents for our children to make their way through the cordon of police and emergency vehicles surrounding Columbine High School. Some of the kids came out crying, frightened, stunned. Some were rushed from the school in ambulances.

One teacher and 12 students, including our 16-year-old Kelly, did not come out. For a day and a half they remained where they had died while investigators pieced together an account of two teenage boys who had fallen into the grip of a terrible evil—the evil that seemed to me to hover still about the place where it happened.

Like most of the others, Kelly was killed in the library, crouching beneath a table as bullets ricocheted through the room. Just inside those windows! I thought as Don got out of the car. Right behind that curved steel-and-glass facade. It was too much to bear. I turned my head away, unable to look.

It had been weeks before the examination of the crime scene was complete and police let the families visit the site. It was important to me to see the place where Kelly had tried to hide. I needed to pray at the spot, outlined in white on the floor, kneel where she died. But if I thought actually going to the library would ease its menace, I was wrong. The bullet-scarred walls, the splintered tabletops, a shattered computer screen—violence and hate were still palpable there.

We live just two blocks from the high school, and for a long time I could not even drive by it, taking long, bizarre detours for the simplest errands. But for Don’s sake, and for our older daughter, Erin, I had to pick up my life again. And what helped most was remembering how Kelly loved angels.

From the time she was tiny, Kelly and I had shared a special affection for these messengers of God. I can still hear her piping little voice, at age three, reciting the verse on the little guardian angel card my mother had given her:

“Angel of God, my guardian dear to whom his love commits me here, ever this day be at my side to light and guard, to rule and guide.”

Kelly loved that card. I’d often see it on her dresser top or catch sight of it with her schoolbooks. When she was older we would sit together on the sofa and watch Touched by an Angel. We never missed an episode. We bought the soundtrack CD too, and would sing along in the car, just the two of us. For Kelly and me, angels were our shorthand for “God is near!” And his nearness is what made her such a happy child—a girl who woke in the morning with a smile and literally skipped through the day, blue eyes sparkling, long blonde hair swishing behind her.

That’s what gave the library its peculiar horror for me. Kelly was such a gentle, trusting little soul to die amid such evil! I’d given her a poem about angels that she kept in a frame on her bedroom wall. After she died I’d step into her room again and again and read it, lingering over one line especially: “Angels are with you every step of the way and help you soar with amazing grace.” I wanted to believe an angel had been beside her that day, with her beneath that table, helping her soar above the terror.

Almost as though they knew I needed them, people sent angel figurines along with their condolences. They came from friends, neighbors, total strangers—china angels, metal angels, wooden angels. An eight-year-old daughter of a friend tried to count the angel images in our house one day and gave up at 175—and every one of those angels whispered to me that Kelly was fine.

Only around the library was I unable to feel comfort. Not that we hadn’t tried to exorcise the evil from that place. The school district at first wanted to repair and refurbish the space, but Don and I and the other parents believed that no child should ever again be asked to study there. God brought us together in an organization we called HOPE—Healing of People Everywhere—to raise money for a brand-new library building.

What began as a fund-raising effort among the families was caught up by the whole community, then by the entire nation and even beyond. The new school building was under construction now—Don had driven in that afternoon, as he often did, to check on its progress. “I’ll stay in the car,” I told him. I’d visited the building site with the other families just a few days earlier.

The new library posed no terrors. It seemed to me a sign of life continuing, life affirmed. It was the presence of the old site that continued to oppress and upset me. I glanced reluctantly at it through the car window. Its exterior was unchanged, but inside, I knew, nothing was left of the old facility. Architects had come up with a design that preserved the cafeteria on the ground floor, while entirely removing the second floor where the library had been.

The cafeteria now had a spacious atrium feel, bright and light, with a beautiful mural of trees on the high ceiling, drawing the eye upward. Students and faculty of Columbine High School had a space that all could enter without fear. With the other families, we’d see to it that no physical trace of the tragedy remained.

Yet for me, the place still menaced. I turned my back on it and stared the other way out the car window. I need to know that Kelly’s all right, Lord, I prayed. I need to know she’s happy and at peace.

Turn around. Look at the building. The nudge didn’t come from me. That building was the last thing in the world I wanted to look at. I wrenched my head around…and blinked in astonishment.

Something bright was moving across those upper windows! Something shimmering and glowing, gliding slowly past the glass exactly where the old library had been. Open-mouthed I stared while the unmistakable figure of an angel hovered over that second story. Wings, radiant hair, flowing garment—no artist could have rendered a heavenly messenger of comfort more gloriously.

I sat awestruck, seeing, yet scarcely believing. Even here, even here! Your angel was here with Kelly, just as you are with her always and forever.

How long did the vision last—15 seconds? However brief the time on a clock, I knew the angel had given me a lifetime of assurance. In the midst of all the evil that ever was and ever will be, God is present. God is with us. God is stronger.

[putschki1969]

Lisani! 2010 Pamphlet - Kalafina Q&A 50 Translation

Hey! ( ･ω･)ﾉ Yesterday @mistress-of-the-obvious was kind enough to share her scans of the pamphlet and after quickly browsing through these questions, I thought it would be quite fun to translate them so you all know what’s going on ^_^. Of course we know a lot of this stuff already but all in all, the Q&A was quite insightful and there were a couple of new facts here and there. Please enjoy!

1. What was the first CD you bought? "口マンスの神様/Romance no Kamisama" by Hirose Kōmi and "パラシューター/Parachuter” by Folder (W) "BOY MEETS GIRL" by TRF (K) A Destiny's Child album (H) 2. Which song do you have on repeat right now? Kalafina's new song (W) Makihara Noriyuki’s "SPY" (K) Acid Black Cherry’s "Maria" (H) 3. Which artists do you look up to? Celine Dion (W) Ozaki Yutaka (K) DREAMS COME TRUE, Beyonce (H) 4. Who would you like to have a singing session with? Celine Dion, Spitz, Joe Hisaishi (W) KARA (K) DREAMS COME TRUE, Beyonce, Acid Black Cherry (H) 5. Who would you really like to meet? Hayao Miyazaki (W) Girls' Generation (K) Myself from a previous life (H)

6. What’s your favourite anime? All Ghibli works, "Evangelion" (W) "One Piece" (K) CLAMP's work (H) 7. What about your favourite manga? "Honey and Clover", "NANA", "We Were There", "Love★Com", " Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind ", "Oishinbo", "Monster", "Slam Dunk" "Evangelion", "Kyou no Nekomura-san " (W) "One Piece" (K) Works by George Asakura, Hidaka Banri, Mitsuki Kako etc (H) 8. Now your favourite game! My specialty is watching others play but I like "Final fantasy" and "Dragon Quest" (W) "Pokemon" (K) "Nonograms" (H) 9. What’s your go-to song at karaoke? "LOVE" by Nat King Cole (w) "喝采/Kassai" by Chiaki Naomi (K) "未来予想図II/Mirai Yosouzu II" by DREAMS COME TRUE (H) 10. Which songs would you like to cover someday? All the popular oldies (W) Ozaki Yutaka's "OH MY LITTLE GIRL" (K) Song with English lyrics (H) 11. A story hero you look up to? Ashitaka, Kaito Kid, Lupin III (W) Sailor Moon's Tuxedo Mask (K) Mickey Mouse (H) 12. A story heroine you look up to? Nausicaä, Sailor Moon (W) Sailor Moon (K) Sakura (H) 13. What do you most enjoy doing right now? Doing research for my cooking, exploring the city with by bike (W) Doing lives (K) Talking with the other members (H) 14. How do you relax? Reading a book while nestling into my bed (W) Yoga (K) While I am taking a bath (H) 15. What are you doing first thing in the morning? Mute my alarm at least twice (W) Open my curtains (K) I rub at my eyes (H) 16. What would your ideal off day be like? I’d take my time getting up, enjoy a relaxed breakfast, then I’d go see a movie and do some shopping and lastly, I’d have some fun in Disneyland! (W) I’d do some yoga and take a walk, I’d enjoy lunch on my open terrace and at night I’d have dinner with a good friend (K) I’d spend the day sleeping (H) [Surprise, surprise XD] 17. What made you cry lately? I got very emotional while talking to one of my friends (W) When I finally found a solution for something that was troubling me, I cried out of relief and immediately felt refreshed *laughs* (K) During an interview I was talking about our live performances, the thought of all these people coming to see our lives made me incredibly happy and brought tears to my eyes (H) 18. What’s something that surprised you lately? The high quality of children's clothing (W) A friend started to work on her abs and now her midsection is super thin (K) A bug was flying right at me (H) [Keiko as always obsessed with fitness! LOL at Hikaru being attacked by bugs] 19. What’s the most embarrassing thing that happened to you recently? When I tried on the aforementioned children’s clothing *laughs* (W) Eh? Nothing comes to mind... (K) Slipping even though there was nothing on the ground (H) 20. Is there anything you would like to start doing? I’d like to improve my English conversation skills and I would like to start mountain climbing (W) I wanna take cooking classes (K) I’d like to work on my tolerance for spicy food  (H) 21. One of the things you like about yourself? I am not shy in front of strangers (W) I am very positive and proactive (K) I think I have a very calm nature (H) 22. One thing you do not like about yourself? I worry too much about everything (W) I don’t think I am very smart (K) I am too indecisive (H) [You underestimate yourself, Keiko!!! You are always eager to learn new things!!] 23. What’s one of your habits? Pinching my nose after yawning (W) Putting on lip balm even though my lips aren’t dry (K) Talking in dialect. (H) 24. What can you not live without? Lip cream and a pair of fashionable glasses (W) Lip cream (K) Afternoon tea (H) 25. One of the “best” moments for you? When I am waving my arms and singing together with the audience (W) When I managed a smash while playing tennis! (K) When the three of us harmonise perfectly (H)

26. What’s something you are very particular about when it comes to yourself? I need to wear my favourite pyjamas when I am sleeping (W) The length of my bangs, down to the last millimeter (K) My eyebrows (H) [I wonder what Hikaru means by that? Does she always take extra care of her eyebrows? Or does she want them to look a particular way? o.O] 27. A daily habit of yours? Gargling (W) I always eat soup and yoghurt (K) Listening to music (H) 28. What’s something “weird” about you? When I am alone at karaoke, I will try to do some strange imitations but it won’t look anything like the original (W) Pretty much all day I am curling my toes. It’s rather troublesome (K) My sense of humour (H) [LOL at all three replies. I wanna see Wakana acting all weird and crazy in a karaoke room] 29. Something you can cook well? Spaghetti aglio e olio, simmered chicken with lemon cream (W) Spaghetti Napolitan (K) Amberjack Teriyaki (H) 30. What is your favourite fashion style? Black tights + shorts + tunic dress + jacket + fur muffler + beret + boots (W) An edgy rock style and a doll-y look (K) Cute + sexy (H) [Yup, Hikaru is always dressed in a very sexy way with all those see-through tops and such. I wouldn’t call her style cute tho. It’s more edgy and casual with a hint of sexiness if you ask me.] 31. Do you have any cosplay you'd like to try? Sailor Moon (W) Ruffy (K) · Cat (H) 32. What did you want to be as a child? Manga artist (w) Radio/TV announcer (K) Singer (H) 33. Where would you like to go on a date? Disneyland or a road trip (W) A place where it’s quiet and cosy with lots of greenery (K) Going to the places we both like (H) 34. What would a perfect proposal sound like? Something simple without being too stiff or too elaborate (W) "I want to cherish you for the rest of my lifetime" I really want someone to say this to me *laughs* “I would love to spend the rest of my life at your side” (H) 35. A place you wanna visit? Egypt! (W) L.A. (US) (K) Switzerland (H) [Yes Hikaru, come to Switzerland. It’s just a short trip to Austria from there XD] 36. Are you more of an “uke/passive” or “seme/active” type? Seme (W) Sometimes seme, sometimes uke (K) Both *laughs (H) [One track mind. All I am thinking of is yaoi/bl XD; I am actually surprised Wakana is the only one who sees herself as exclusively “seme”] 37. You are running late! What’s your excuse? I’ll apologise and come up with a tiny little lie along the lines of, "Sorry! I missed my stop!" (W) “I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I am sorry!” (K) Sorry I am late, I lost track of time looking at cute clothes (> _ <) (H) 38. You just won a hundred million yen in the lottery! What are you gonna do with it? I’ll put half of it aside for my savings, with the other half I’ll buy a house for my family and I’ll travel overseas with the members of Kalafina and our staff (W) I’d buy a plot of land (K) I’d save all of it (H) 39. You are in a tough spot and in need of help! Who do you want to come to your rescue? Doraemon (W) Ruffy (K) My family (H) [LOL at Kei’s and Wa’s answers] 40. What do you associate with the word "Love"? Victory! (W) Patience (K) Doesn’t want anything in return (H) 41. What do you associate with the word "Music"? Kalafina’s song "Ongaku" (W) Being tied together (K) Connections (H) 42. How would you encourage someone who is dealing with a difficult situation? It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything, don’t push yourself too hard! (W) I will be there for you when you are ready to talk (K) I know it hurts right now but things will get better! (H) 43. If you could make one wish, what would it be? I want to be able to fly up into the sky (W) I want peace for everyone on earth (K) Please let me live a good life! (H) 44. If the world were to end tomorrow, what would be your final meal? Gyoza! (W) Chirashi Sushi made by my mother (K) A meal surrounded by all my loved ones (H) [No surprise there at all, Wakana XD] 45. Please share a secret you have never shared before! I am a big old scaredy-cat! (W) It’s a secret (K) Truth is...I have a big mole on the sole of my foot (H) [Why so secretive, Keiko????] 46. What is your best memory in 2010? All our live performances!! Our lives in Tokyo, Nagoya and Osaka and of course our first Asia Tour!! (W) Having met so many people through Kalafina’s music, I feel like each and every person has become a part of me (K) Being able to meet so many people (H) 47. Describe the year with a single kanji/word! 充実/Completion!  (W) 学/Studying (K) 寅/Tiger (H) [No idea how to inerpret Hikaru’s answer o.O Edit: I should have made my troubles clear here. I am aware that Hikaru refers to the Chinese zodiac year, the kanji cannot be understood otherwise but I wonder how to interpret that. Does that year encompass certain things? Obviously with all kinds of zodiac signs, there are certain predictions and such but does she really refer to that? Seems like something Wakana would do o.O ] 48. A brief comment regarding Lisani! LIVE 2010!! Lisani! LIVE is the best! (W) For this final event of the year, we would like to sing for everyone and have fun together so that all of us can feel united! (K) I am happy to be able to participate in such a nice event! (H) 49. A brief message for all the fans who came to see you! Thank you everyone for coming!! Let's make it a memorable day!! (W) Thank you! I feel incredibly happy that I could spend these precious moments together with all of you! Until next time! (K) Thank you for coming to see us! I am happy that I can meet all of you! (H) 50. How are you gonna celebrate the finished event? Karaoke, Disneyland, Onsen! (W) At a restaurant that serves some good and dry ginger ale (K) Anywhere, as long as it’s fun! (H)