#best way to spend a birthday
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today is my boit'day birthday :)
#i apologize if it's vain to post Clip of Characters Wishing Another Character Happy Birthday but i just need this on my blog so badly.#not want#but NEEEEEEEEEEED!#i will spend it drawing and watching cartoons which i think is the best way to spend it#also i swear i will resume Mel Yell polls!!! i have not forgotten!!
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Hug
*hug*
#I’m back to not wanting to make it to 25#the voice in my head is telling me I should just kill myself again#I don’t want to spend my 25th birthday alone in my attic watching movies and crying#because it’s going to be the most visible representation of how my year is going#not spending my birthday with my best friends again because I’m not up there when I desperately want to be#and not spending my birthday with ⚡️ because what’s another failed relationship on a stack of failed relationships#because I was going to ask if I could spend my birthday with her#and I still might#but it’s not in the way I want#punk gets mail#personal
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Girls Night !
📸 : @wanderingaldecaldo ♥
Part 2 of pics by Wash for Vanessa's bday ! and this time, with girls. And vip girls with Val (belongs to Wash), Esme (@dustymagpie), Macha (@imaginarycyberpunk2023) and Viridian (@theviridianbunny) ♥♥♥
#happy birthday vanessa !#cyberpunk 2077#female v#oc : vanessa vergara#esme richards#macha richter#valerie vermillon#viridian#cyberpunk oc#cyberpunk photomode#cp2077#cp2077edit#virtual photography#pics by wanderingaldecaldo#GIRLS NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT !!#best way to spend the night#with true friends <33#look at all these pretty girls <33#girls just want to have fun
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little rich boy sirius who gets disowned and can barely survive without his expensive brands and the basic human need to eat at least once a day meeting the entirely too generous james potter who just falls for the vanity and sincerity of the reformed rich boy and decides that once sirius stops caring about brands and status and rich boy things and just cares about what matters in life he decides to spoil his boyfriend to pieces because he’s secretly sitting on a fucking fortune
#idk i just think it’s funny#like james would find sirius when he’s struggling with money because he’s so bad at saving and prioritising his spendings because he’s never#had too before and so james would teach him how to do all that stuff and emotionally support sirius through it all and sirius just falls in#love with this beautiful guy who’s just so generous and who teaches him so many things and finds value in kindness and sincerity and#compassion and all that jazz and james falls in love with sirius helplessly because he might be stuck up and vein and kind of selfish and#is stuck up and cares all too much about status but he’s trying so hard to be better and he finds empathy because sirius got kicked out for#the worst reasons because he’s always been the black sheep of his highly cultist christian family or whatver and he’s also outwardly queer#and james decides that he wants to give sirius everything and loves the way he looks in expensive makeup and designer faux fur coats and#heels and divine jewellery and all that jazz but makes sirius sell it all and learn what it means to be human and not rely on money and#status and brands and stuff and sirius learns what it’s like to be decent and in touch with humanity and only then does james take sirius on#a surprise luxury holiday for his birthday or something and then just buys him thousands of dollars worth of all these glamorous looking#things and sirius is like omg what the fuck jamie and then he just becomes sirius’ sugar daddy because he can’t help himself but they’re#also in love and much better people because of it and when sirius buys things now it’s not because of brands or because they have big price#tags like he used too. he now buys things with james’ credit card he keeps in his own wallet because he thinks he’ll feel pretty in them or#because he thinks james will loose it if he sees sirius walking around in it or if he sees a really cute toaster that sends him into a#frenzy that has him spending all way too much on an impromptu kitchen renovation but james doesn’t care because as long as his boyfriend is#happy and actually paying attention to the price of things and calculating the best value and taking james’ opinion as well and just being#happy and safe and accepted in his new home and family here with his jamie#please i think they’d be so cute ugh!!!#prongsfoot#bambibelle#drabble#fic idea#marauders#james potter#sirius black#jay talks
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happy new year 🥳
#have already said my first ‘i’m going to kms’ of 2024#and i’m spending january 1st the way i do every year which is gearing up for my Birthday Cry tmrw#also mad bc i fell asleep and woke up to my best friend texting me abt a situation and nothing has happened yet and no one is mad at her#but i am preemptively annoyed on her behalf.#anyway that’s my tea that’s my drama i literally was snoozing and woke up when the ball dropped which is real of me#(also my niece kicked me in the head ❤️)#n e way wiseatom wrapped tomorrow
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For a 2nd birthday...I'll hopefully (if nothing comes up!) Be BBQ-ed by the German grandpas!
DRESDEN 2024 LET US BE FRIIIIIEEEED!!!!❤🔥❤🔥❤🔥❤🔥❤
#literally the best way to spend my birthday#I probably have to go alone but I am going to make it#i have to...otherwise its just gonna be a lonely birthday at home and thats not gonna be an option!!#gonna spend my 32 birthday and the 30th anniversary of Rammstein getting fried up toasty and nice😎#rammstein 2024#rammstein
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Do I spend the day writing or do I spend the day keeping a low level tipsy buzz going and writing?
#nixie personal#either way#I'm spending my today writing#but will it be sober or some level of drunk??#best way to spend my birthday
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not to be emo on main but i miss when my birthday meant something to me :/
#and holidays & events in general :/#idk when it started but i just. stopped seeing them as special days or whatever they’re just another day on the calendar#now i may not know when but i think i know why: depression 🥴#but still i miss like. not being able to sleep the entire WEEK leading up to my birthday#but in recent years it’s just been me waking up. going ‘oh okay’. wishing a happy birthday to 2 of my best friends w/ the same birthday#and then i go about my normal shut-in routine. it’s just. augh.#it’s not like i’d rather go out and have a big thing because no i enjoy my introvertedness#and i like having an excuse to spend a day that way but. it just makes me sad to see how it just doesn’t affect me anymore :/#this ain’t even about milestone birthdays i haven’t even hit the last one yet i’ve been like this since i was like 15 😭#grace being stupid#text post#personal
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Today is my… ahem Emilio’s birthday!
Happy birthday, Señor Writer <3
He’s “good” now so he deserves to have a kind-looking version of his picrew (and I gave him a pocket watch because he does have a pocket watch. With the portrait of his family inside)
#Was Born To Lead#My OCs#Emilio Serrano#Don’t you love it when you create a character and then after analyzing your own writing#you come to the conclusion that they’re hopelessly self insert#This is what happened to Emilio 🥳#I can’t wait for the moment when I get to the eagle and the crow chapter I can already sense I’ll burst into tears#especially in the end#because yeah#sounds familiar dude#Anyway he’s finally living his life the best way possible#So let’s wish to him it’s going to stay so for at least a few months <3#You know I’m editing the new chapter now#and Emilio is so awkward there :’D#Although what else do you want from a person who has no idea how to communicate#he’s trying his best#Ajdhnfjf I’m so tempted to put one of his lines here but I don’t want to ruin the experience of reading it in the context :’D#because it actually makes it somewhat funnier#Anyway happy birthday to him again#I can assure you he first spends this day with his colleagues at work and finally notices how much they all love him there#catches a moment with Valerio his new best friend#and then spends it with his family the dearest people to him <3#Oh and today I also published the eagle and the crow chapter#It's been ONE YEAR since I've written it#Insane#Ajhdkfk and it also means I've written only six chapters in the past year :'D#Yeah....
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. anyway after writing the tags 4 this post i told my research partner i will no longer follow his dreams lmao. still helping w it but i need to engage in research that i find satisfying
#i think ive been waiting for something for a while and i will spend the next year waiting for it too#i thought i felt panic but i have decided to read it as anticipation. the thrill of rejection or of moving forward or the latter as#a result of the former. i left you with your backpack unattended in the cafe because on fridays i am done#putting my life on hold for another whim-without-a-warning#this cross country service is delayed by 26 minutes so i will grab a bucket and start shovelling the water away from the tracks#everyone is moving on in some different way and im sorry if you think im mean for telling you getting so drunk will disable you from#recording your brainwaves effectively but it seems like you think i owe you an awful lot. one year ago in four days my friend got me hegel's#science of logic for my birthday and i thanked him for proving to me the existence of things this is what i do he said#and then he will spend the rest of his life breathing philosophy and i dont want to spend the rest of my life#breathing someone elses dreams i wait for the moment of realisation. this is now a 30 minute delay. i was supposed to worship beautiful#things and that is what i will do. i think i have a best friend and i know i have a lover and i know to#restrict my love the way you have. im sorry. i hope you understand when i tell you. i am now sitting on the floor in the luggage section of#this incredibly busy train and i saw a photo of her with her boyfriend and her hair in braids smiling like a fool this is the#except a week ago you told me you almost took too much this time to live. you are a beautiful girl with a beautiful soul and you know you#have already changed the world and it somehow was not enough. now you are smiling without any makeup on next to him#and yesterday you cried in an airport in the states when you were too full of love. this is the most extraordinary human being i have met.#tomorrow he heads off to princeton while his best friend heads to harvard. he goes there to make the world a better place. he is the most#extraordinary person i have ever met. the issue with human beings is that we are incredibly good at almost dying and keeping going.#you try to kill yourself and publish a paper and give a talk. you negotiate the seperation between your own parents and submit another#phd application. i am surrounded by extraordinary people with extraordinary minds and incredibly broken happy hearts.#i only see you smile when you talk about robotics. i still dont know how manifolds work and i love the concept anyway. i dont know.#i do know that i refuse to live unsatisfied.#you can keep drinking. im going to drink this reality up#i think i was a horrible person and i refuse to engage with that mentality again no matter what it takes.
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guys look what i painted today!!
#best way to spend my birthday!#very phoebe esque lol#the ghosts are just so adorable#i cant wait to get them back after they’ve been fired
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as of today I'm the answer to the question on the meaning of life, universe and everything
42.
I'm 42.
#hbd to me#i just#love the birthday im here with myself making amazing art#the best way to spend a birthday#thought abt doing stuff with ppl but then decided against it#not in a ppl mood AND cannot make my amazing art while with ppl so#also been waiting to make this joke ever since I turned 40 I think or earlier as soon as I realized that 42 is p near#gotta say it feels amazing#to just be
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Right it's time to drink some gin & watch some Indycar 👌
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Lmao you should tell your dad to take you camping sometime when you'd we him this weekend!
my dad and my sister have this chronic condition called 'making plans and either forget or life comes upon them last minute and bites them in the ass so we have to cancel and """reschedule""" <- we never reschedule' so i dont think that's in the cards LMAO
#snap chats#if i were to look through all the texts sent between my dad and i growing up it'd just be like#'ill see you X Date' and then the day of or the day before my dad'll be like 'sorry something came up :( we'll try next week'#Spoilers we wouldn't try next week and we prob won't talk for months after that#my sister's similar tho she's like. 2% better about it but that's cause we reside in the same household. sometimes#she has friends and a boyfriend so sometimes she stays with them LOL#still i've just learned that they always end up too busy to spend time with me which is FINE#i get it life's busy for everyone so i try not to let it get me down too much it's bonkers to assume they can put aside other things for me#its my fault for not having friends to spend my time with so i just have to. work on that. somehow LOL#for camping though maybe i can bully my dad into taking me for my birthday...#tho just seeing him would be a good enough present and the best chance of that's just us goin to the city and not doin anythin crazy#i love the city so it's win-win either way LOL#ok ill wrap up my Monthly Required dad rant OOPSSIEE
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omg :’) nana gifted me enough money to spend the day before my birthday in chicago
#going to be jetlagged (flight also lands on 18th) but! best way to fix that is just walk around in the city and do stupid stuff#unfortunately can't spend my actual birthday there bc my move in date is the 19th but that's all good. i'll spend my 20th birthday unpacking#if u have something cool i should consider doing let me know lol
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i think one of the hardest parts about losing my grandparents is it takes very little to reopen the yawning hole in my heart and a very long time to sew it back up. it never really goes away but when i think too hard about them i get this bone deep pain, physically in my body, like id throw up if there was anything more than just a vast emptiness. it happens a lot this time of year.
#opening up and writing down the vague shapes of my life felt good but god it exacerbated it#its only a few weeks to the anniverary of her death so while fall is my favorite season its always so sad :-(#bc as soon as her death is out of the way it's all the holidays i cant spend with my family and my birthday#capped off new years morning by the anniversary of when he died#really just bookending the holidays#its hard to ever feel like its a freah new year when the day thats meant to feel the best is just#another awful shitty anniversary
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