#for camping though maybe i can bully my dad into taking me for my birthday...

[todayisafridaynight]

Lmao you should tell your dad to take you camping sometime when you'd we him this weekend!

my dad and my sister have this chronic condition called 'making plans and either forget or life comes upon them last minute and bites them in the ass so we have to cancel and """reschedule""" <- we never reschedule' so i dont think that's in the cards LMAO

[the-cult-of-russo]

gotta know how u think billy would be as a dad with his kids :D

I had so many requests for Dad!Billy headcanons 😭

I hope you're ready for this chaotic ramble.

Please remember this is my Billy I'm writing

-

You know those parents who take like a million pictures of their kid and show them to everyone? The kind that talks about their kid nonstop to anyone who'll listen? Their family, friends, the poor random old lady at the store that just wants to buy some damn milk.

That's Billy.

He's such an unbelievably proud parent, his pride for his kids knows no bounds. It doesn't even need to be some kind of milestone worth celebrating, everything his kid does makes him proud. You better believe when his baby has an explosive crap and ruins their clothes, he's boasting about it the next day to Frank and the guys at Anvil.

-

He's incredibly protective. Murder is a possibility if his kids in danger. He wants nothing more than to keep his kids safe. If they're being bullied, it takes all of his willpower to stop himself from kicking the kids ass for doing that to his kid. He's not above picking a fight with the bullies dad though if they don't get their little shit head in check and also making it known to the principle that this shit won't fly with him.

~

"Mr Russo, I don't think you understand how serious this is. Your son broke a kids nose," the principle mutters with a glare.

Billy tilts his head, regarding the teacher with those unsettling eyes that has the old man squirming in his seat.

"You’re damn right he did," Billy replies seriously, a proud tone to his voice. His dark eyes cut to his left where his son is, practically his double. As Billy smirks, unable to help himself, his son wears the same one although he's lowering his head to hide his amusement.

"We don't tolerate that behaviour here, Mr Russo," the principle huffs. Billy's eyes harden then as his eyes narrow, sitting forward in his chair just the right amount to be imposing. The second the man leans back he knows it worked.

"You know what I don't tolerate? My kid bein' bullied. You assholes won't do shit to stop it, so I say let the little fucker get a taste of his own medicine. Serves him right for messin' with a Russo," he smirks wickedly.

~

He teaches them self defence, wanting them to be able to look after themselves if it ever came down to it. Naturally, for their 16th birthday, they're gifted with a big ass knife.

-

Billy as a dad is so stupidly soft.

We all remember the scene from the show, right? Where he's in the hospital with his mom and he says;

"Maybe you did me a solid, you know? I mean, the way I see it, you want weak kids, give 'em everything. But if you... if you want 'em strong... treat 'em hard."

When he has a kid of his own he realises just what utter garbage this is. The idea of all the shit he's been through making him into the tough son of a bitch he is today is born from trauma that he still hasn't dealt with. The way his brain tries to rationalise what he went though. To make it make sense instead of it being so goddamn senseless.

But if he's honest, more than he'd like to admit, he finds himself wondering just what his life would have been like if he grew up in a loving home. What it would be like to feel wanted and cared for. To rise to the top being helped and cheered on by others instead of clawing his way there with bloodied and dirty fingers, the weight of the world bearing down on him as he's beat down at every turn.

He never wants his kids to feel that way. Not even a fraction of how unloved and unwanted he felt. He does everything in his power to make sure they know just how much he cares about them. There's literally nothing he wouldn't do for his kids. They could turn up at home one day and confess to a murder and Billy wouldn't hesitate to ask where the body is so he can handle it for them.

-

Billy is ridiculously sentimental when it comes to his kids. Drawings go up on the fridge and when a new one takes its place, the old one goes into a box of many others that he can't seem to ever throw away. He has multiple pictures of his kids at his office, even some framed cute drawings they did for him. He's kept all the mementos from the pregnancy, birth and onwards. They're his little treasures.

-

Billy is super supportive of everything his kids do. He makes sure they get a good education but he never pushes them to do something they don't want to do. Despite the large college fund he's got for them, if they choose not to go to college, he doesn't pressure them. Instead, whatever hopes and dreams they have, he does everything in his power to support and help them. Whether that's moral and emotional support, money or even breaking a few jaws of people standing in their way.

-

Let's look a little bit at how he is throughout some of the ages of his kid.

Billy with a baby is a sight to behold. No one has ever seen Lieutenant William Russo so goddamn soft. Once he's got hold of his baby, you've got no chance of getting them back off him. You'd have to fight him. He adores holding his little one close, soaking them in. He's constantly holding them no matter what he's doing and baby carriers and wraps are a godsend to him. You'd heard about them from a friend and told Billy and you better believe by the time the baby's born that he's an expert on all things baby wearing. He's a perfectionist and carrying a baby wrong can be dangerous. He makes sure he knows how to do it right.

Just as he has little affectionate touches for you, he has the same for his baby. His large hand stroking their tiny head and little hair. His finger stroking their chubby little cheek. He's a tactile person and touch is grounding for him. It soothes him to do so with his baby and reassures him they're really there and that they're okay.

He's super attentive. Of course he works a lot but as soon as he becomes a dad, he doesn't stay late anymore and makes sure to have days off. The second he comes home, he's making a beeline for his baby, scooping them up with a grin. He loves to read to them, something that continues as they grow up. His weekends used to be restful or if he was feeling like a masochist, he'd work from home. But now weekends are his time to shine. By the time you wake up on a Saturday morning, he's already up with the baby, making you breakfast as he's got the baby attached to him via baby carrier.

As his baby grows into a toddler, each milestone makes him tearful and full of pride. He kisses any booboos that happen and he's constantly playing with his child. He has a pretty silly side to him that most don't get to see. Making his kid laugh and smile brings him the greatest joy.

He loves taking his toddler to the office with him. Everyone dotes on his kid and treats them like royalty.

When they turn into a small child, he watches with a proud smile and amusement as his kid wants to fight with his men, watching them 'beat' the shit out of them. The guys at Anvil are more than happy to very dramatically go down, and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree when the tiny Russo grins smugly at their 'win'.

Their first day at school and Billy's a mess. It's such a turning point and he doesn't know how to deal with how fast their growing up. But every achievement at school, even minor ones, and he's showering them with praise.

He encourages them to work hard and as soft as he might be, he is still the boss. He makes sure they do their homework and don't fall behind on their studies.

One thing Billy loves is teaching his kids stuff. Whether that's mundane stuff to help with school or teaching them shit he knows like survivalist things, because you can never be too prepared, right? He loves helping them with school projects and answering any questions they might have about one of the many things he's knowledgeable about.

When his kids moves onto those hard teenage years, the ones where everything feels so dramatic and world ending, he's a little tougher when it calls for it. Billy is no novice to rebellion, he has a rebellious streak of his own and marches to the beat of his own drum half the time. He respects that. What he doesn't respect or tolerate is behaviour that's going to fuck his kid over in the long run or self sabotage. He will be firm and a hard ass if he needs to be to keep his kids on a path where they don't get hurt or ruin their life.

Billy has a zero tolerance policy on drugs. After the shit with his mother, he won't budge on this. If he finds out his kid is dabbling in drugs, they're grounded until they're old enough to move out.

-

No matter what age his kids are, Billy loves them immensely. He wants to be the father he wished he'd had growing up and he pours all of his anguish and pain from his upbringing into it. Channeling it into the purest form of love for his kids. To break the curse that had hold of him. He won't perpetuate the cycle.

Being a father brings him a sense of completeness and peace he didn't think was possible for him to achieve. It fills the void that's been eating away at his soul from his lack of love as a child and he loves every second of being a parent. Even the hard moments.

-

Bonus:

The Russo's and the Castle's go on monthly camping trips together. Billy loves the outdoors, the mild survivalist feelings he gets from it without the real danger. He loves taking his kids there, teaching them everything. In his role as dad and uncle, he sits around the camp fire at night, the light of the flames dancing along his face as he very theatrically tells the kids a spooky story.

You and his kids are his immediate family but the Castle's are his family too. So he really loves it when you all get to spend time together like that.

[cupofteaguk]

i’ve seen the way you look at me when you think i don’t notice

FROM THE PETALS COLLECTION 

[pairing] :: jungkook x fem!reader

[genre] :: percy jackson au + angst 

[word count] :: 7.3k 

[note] :: attempted a son of hades!jungkook storyline. vaguely inspired by nico di angelo’s character arc if you’ve read the books (because coughs well this use to be an unpublished nico di angelo fanfic don’t at me LMAO), but you don’t need to remember the character slash be an expert in the story to read this fic! Also this is a friends to lovers fic hidden behind my attempt to write a story of grief. pls enjoy! 

.

When Jungkook is fifteen years old, he arrives at Camp Half Blood with pennies in his pockets, one Kim Taehyung on his back, and monsters on his tail. There are all kinds of creatures that have been following him for weeks—some with wings, some with clubs, but all with the intent of murder in their eyes as they chase Jungkook up the hill. Taehyung had warned him about this happening, that starting this journey would attract lots of unwanted attention from lots of dangerous half-breed monsters. Something to do with Jungkook’s scent, whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean. 

In the beginning, Jungkook hadn’t known what to expect, hadn’t known what Taehyung meant by strange creatures and a camp just for him. Even right now, as he is running as quickly as his legs can take him with his lungs feeling like it’s about to burst—he doesn’t really understand. 

What he does understand is that he has been alone his entire life. With a childhood filled with no father and a frightful mother, Jungkook has grown up spending time by himself in the company of his own thoughts and emotions. With such a strange (and lacking) family dynamic, it exposed him to lots of bullying and snide comments from peers, most commonly seen during school or walks home. The first half of Jungkook’s childhood is defined by this—by the teasing for being different, for failing classes, for being awkward and shy, for never knowing his place. The second half of Jungkook’s childhood is filled with sleeping on the streets, with stealing food at convenience stores, on how he’s been truly alone since he was thirteen. 

That is, until Kim Taehyung corners him at the midnight strike of his fifteenth birthday—which leads the two of them to this current moment. 

Jungkook doesn’t understand much right now. All he knows is that he needs to run. 

As Jungkook approaches the top of the hill, he sees a group of people surrounding an archway. They’re all bundled up in gears of shields and swords, and each of them turn towards the boys as the monster thudding grows louder and Jungkook’s calls become more clear. 

Half of the group near the archway break off, immediately making their way towards Jungkook and Taehyung. There are a few questions thrown here and there, before the main objective is just to make sure the boys get to safety. Taehyung’s weight gets distributed between Jungkook and another person, and together the bigger group makes their way across the hill. They cross a tall pine tree that Jungkook hardly notices, because he’s completely out of breath, wounded across his entire body, with legs that feel like jello. 

Taehyung’s weight shifts entirely to the other person as Jungkook trips and falls to his knees. Quickly, Jungkook whirls around so his butt and his arms are on the ground. With his eyes directed towards the hill, his heart crawls up his throat as he sees the monsters making their way up towards him. His body moves before his mind does, his arms moving him closer towards the archway. 

Someone settles themselves right behind him. “Woah, hey.” Your voice is soft, your hand between his shoulders is comforting. “You’re okay, you’re safe now.” 

“B-But!” Jungkook stammers, pointing shakily towards the creatures now growing closer and closer to everyone. “Those monsters! They’re coming!” 

As soon as he says that, the monsters stop in their path, right next to the pine tree from earlier. Their collection of beady eyes glare angrily down at Jungkook, their screams are hollow cries that press painfully against his ears. This conveyance of frustration continues on for a few seconds, before one by one the monsters turn around and make their way back down the mountain. 

Jungkook’s breathing is frantic, along with his heart rate, as he watches the creatures disappear below the dip. “W-What the hell…?” 

You angle your head toward in order for Jungkook to look at you—you wear an expression of softness, of understanding, and Jungkook momentarily sees stars. 

That, however, could have also been from the excess oxygen in him, and the fact that one of those creatures had landed a swipe to his head. 

You gesture to the pine tree. “You see that tree? That’s Thalia Grace’s tree—a long time ago, she and some of her friends were trying to get here, and Thalia sacrificed herself to ensure her friends could be safe. She was a daughter of Zeus, so he turned her into a tree that would protect the camp. Monsters just like those can’t get in anymore.” 

Jungkook feels the adrenaline fading, along with his ability to follow conversations. Daughter of Zeus? Like, Zeus from those Greek mythologies? The camp? Had this been the place Taehyung told him about? 

It’s all too much to keep up with. Jungkook faints before he can ask his question, in which the last thing he sees is your eyes, concerned and twinkling. He passes the thudding in his heart off as pure and utter exhaustion. 

Jungkook wakes up on top of a white hospital bed a few hours later, head swimming and Taehyung situated at the foot. He offers a cup of something called ambrosia that immediately clears the headache. “Woah, what the fuck?” He asks, holding the cup away from him and staring at it with wide eyes. He looks over at Taehyung. “What is this? My headache went away as soon as I drank this. Also, it tastes like banana milk. Is this a dream?” Without waiting for an answer, Jungkook leans back and takes in his surroundings. He looks to be an infirmary, beds with white sheets along the walls and light shining in through the windows. There’s a few other people lingering about, hovering over occupied beds. 

“Jungkook.” Taehyung’s soft voice pulls his attention back. “We’re in Camp Half Blood. You brought us here.” Taehyung’s smile is sad, but confident. “You brought me back, even though it was my mission to bring you here. Thanks.” 

Jungkook stares. “So… you weren’t lying about the camp. T-This is all real?” 

It is then that Taehyung explains everything to Jungkook. Explains that the Greek gods Jungkook learned about in class are real, and that sometimes they come down from Mount Olympus to mingle with mortals—which is where their demigod children come from. Demigods are part god, and therefore have enhanced physical ability as well as some level of control or skill over the realm of their godly parent. Taehyung goes over this information as slowly and as calmly as possible, but Jungkook still has trouble processing the information. In a way, it makes sense that Jungkook would be in this position. He’s always known he was different, always felt like he could never fully belong in the mortal world he spent so long occupying. He just could never label his feelings with a concrete answer. 

Until now, that is. 

Jungkook decides to ask Taehyung one more question. “Why couldn’t you explain any of this to me on the way over?” 

Taehyung seems to be choosing his next words carefully. “As we kept going, you were attracting more monsters. That’s something that normally doesn’t happen, unless the demigod the creatures are tracking is one that’s insanely powerful. Like, a demigod that’s born from the Big Three—Zeus, Poseidon, or Hades. I read accounts of what happened to us happening to other kids that were born from any one of those three gods. I figured that the less you knew, the better. A demigod who doesn’t know they’re a demigod is a much less serious threat—your scent isn’t as strong as it could be if you know about who you are.” 

Jungkook ponders this. “So my dad could be Zeus, Poseidon, or Hades?” He’s definitely heard of those gods. The ruler of all gods, and his two brothers. 

Taehyung presses his lips together, leaning forward in his seat so his forearms rest on his knees. “Maybe,” He says. “It’s pretty rare, though, so I don’t want to give you an answer only for it to not be true. Only time will tell.” He must see the lost, the confused, the anxious look on Jungkook’s face, because Taehyung takes a seat on the edge of the hospital bed. “Hey, JK, cheer up.” The usage of his nickname makes the corner of Jungkook’s lips turn up. “While we wait for your dad to claim you, you can stay with me in my father’s cabin. My dad is Hermes. He’s a patron to travelers, so all campers who come here are welcomed until they’re claimed by their godly parents.” 

Jungkook can only manage a nod at this. He still has many questions, still does not fully understand. With what Taehyung is telling him, Jungkook is not even sure he will belong here, or if he will be ostracized once again for being different amongst the different. 

But he trusts Taehyung—so he’ll follow Taehyung. 

.

Jungkook is at Camp Half Blood for a week before Taehyung is called for another assignment. It’s due to a prophecy given by the Oracle who lives on the campgrounds—the figure grants quests to campers to undergo a series of dangerous adventures in order to accomplish something for the long term benefit of demigods, the human race, the Greek gods themselves, anything of the sort. 

In the case of Taehyung, he is chosen by fellow camper Kim Namjoon to join him in and travel west and retrieve stolen items from a museum collection. It seems like an easy quest. At least, that’s what Jungkook is told. 

Kim Namjoon is a son of Athena, someone whom Jungkook met a day into his arrival at Camp Half Blood—friendly and smart and answers Jungkook’s questions about mythology with ease. It had been good when Jungkook first met the former, because he had many questions, some of which couldn’t be answered by Taehyung. Namjoon is someone that Jungkook immediately grows a fondness and admiration for—only leaving him that much more confident that the quest will go smoothly. 

“You guys will be okay… right?” Jungkook asks Namjoon, as the latter is shouldering his backpack. He’s not the only person seeing Namjoon and Taehyung off on their quest, but Jungkook had been one of the first people to show up. After all, when your only friend is leaving on an adventure, it tends to bring in the worry and the anxiety. “And you’ll watch Taehyung, won’t you?” 

“Of course I will,” Namjoon reassures, tight smile across his lips but he distracts Jungkook with a hand on his shoulder. “Taehyung and I have been doing quests together for a few years. We got each other’s back.” 

Taehyung slides in next to Namjoon, glancing over at Jungkook with all the care in the world in his eyes. “Hey JK, just promise me you’ll do your best to be comfortable here, okay? Keep trying out those different skills we were working on, okay? Your dad will claim you, I’m sure of it.” 

Jungkook looks down at his fingers, wringing the hands together. “I-I’ll try my best.” 

Namjoon and Taehyung exchange glances, partaking in a silent language exchange, before Taehyung looks back at Jungkook. “I know someone who can help.” 

Taehyung leaves Namjoon with his backpack before stepping away from the group, making his way down the hill back towards the camp grounds. Jungkook follows shortly behind. It’s still early in the morning, most campers are inside their cabins sleeping away the mist, but there’s a small group of campers near the archery grounds. There’s some laughter as a new person steps in to ready the bow and arrow. Jungkook watches as this new archer aims as the target, pulls back the bow, and—! 

“Y/N!” Taehyung calls. 

The person at the archery station flinches, sending the arrow a few centimeters away from the center of the target. You whirl around, and Jungkook’s stomach drops because it’s you—the person who helped him when he more or less crashed into Camp Half Blood. 

You gape, still holding the bow in your arms as your eyes narrow into a glare as you continue to stare straight at Taehyung. “Kim Taehyung! Where are your manners!” You call out. “Aren’t you supposed to be on a quest now?” 

Taehyung slings an arm around Jungkook’s shoulder. “I need to borrow you for a second, it’s important.” 

You seem to be saying something to one of your friends, because you hand the bow to a friend before walking over to the two boys. 

As soon as you reach your destination, you look at Jungkook and give him a bright-eyed smile of recognition—one that brings him back to the first time he met you, when he saw stars. “Hey!” You exclaim. “I remember you, you came in with Taehyung last week. You looked like you had been through a lot—are you feeling better now?” 

“I-uh…” Jungkook tries to form words. 

“He had some ambrosia, he’s fine,” Taehyung cuts in kindly, sending Jungkook a look he can’t decipher. Taehyung goes on a momentarily rant, explaining that Jungkook would just need someone to help him further adjust to life at camp, as well as help him figure out who his godly parent was. 

Taehyung says a lot of words, but Jungkook isn’t entirely paying attention. His gaze is fixed on you, taking in your easy smile and bright eyes. He can feel his eyes widen and the flush crawl up his cheeks the longer he lets himself look at you—yet, he doesn’t understand what it means. He’s never seen someone like you before, in his years of school and in his years living on the streets. 

“So, I just need you to help him out. Hopefully his dad will claim him before we get back.” 

“That’s something to look forward to,” You reply, sounding genuinely excited for that. You turn your full attention to Jungkook this time and smile. “Hi, I’m Y/N. Nice to finally meet you!” 

He takes your hand. Fifteen-years-old, and he wears his emotions in his eyes. “I’m Jungkook.” 

.

Jungkook is at Camp Half Blood for three weeks when he starts getting nightmares. 

Not only that, but it’s the same kind of nightmare—something horribly realistic and chaotic and messy but so painful that Jungkook finds himself waking up with tears dusting itself in his eyes. 

It always starts off the same: Namjoon and Taehyung on their quest. They appear to be in a room of antiques, each boy looking cautiously at the collection around them, with their backs pressed against each other. There is a low hum in his dream, where the voices emit a low frequency and sound like static—like he’s hearing the conversations underwater. Suddenly, a burst comes from above, a shatter of something in the room, a clatter of hollow bangs and clashes, and a yell. His dream always turns blurry after the fight starts, but it always ends the same—Namjoon pulling Taehyung away from a fight. And the latter is badly wounded. 

And Jungkook always wakes up at the sight of Taehyung. And it’s the same question that swirls around in his mind, over and over again. Did Taehyung die on the quest? 

At first, it’s easy for Jungkook to write off the dream as a dream—nothing more, nothing less. Perhaps his subconscious playing tricks on him, playing around with his fears and turning it into videos to play in his brain. But with each passing night, a voice starts to ring in his mind. 

My dear boy. It’s a deep voice, husky and low and full of pitiful sadness, like it can sense the pain that Jungkook is trying to internalize. Don’t you understand? Kim Namjoon let your best friend die. 

There’s something about the voice that is familiar, like he’s heard it before. 

The voice plays in Jungkook’s mind over and over again, like a record, and it shakes him to the core. The potential of what the voice is and what the voice could mean frightens him, and it shows. 

It shows in when Jungkook just outright misses the target with his bow and arrow in the present day. The pair of you are out on the field today, and you’re furrowing your eyebrows together. 

“Are you alright?” 

Jungkook stares at his arrow, somewhere flung off to the side, before his gaze shifts to you. You’re always so sturdy, so concerned, so worried for him. Besides Taehyung, who else cares so much for his safety and wellbeing—? 

He stops, lowering the bow. He wears a serious expression. “Can I tell you a secret?” He whispers. 

You furrow your eyebrows at his tone. “Of course. Is something bothering you? I know your father hasn’t claimed you yet, but the gods can be really busy around this time…” 

“No.” He shakes his head. “Not that.” He steals himself for speaking the words into reality. “I had a dream that Taehyung died, even though Namjoon promised me nothing would happen to him.” He doesn’t miss the way you flinch at his accusation. 

You don’t reply to him at first. You stare at him, eyes conflicted. Jungkook stares back, briefly wondering whether you’ve had the experience of knowing death. He doesn’t voice the question, choosing instead to maintain steady eye contact with your nervous expression. 

“Perhaps it was just a dream, Jungkook,” You say carefully. “Namjoon always keeps his promises. He and Taehyung have been working together on quests for years. And Namjoon is the smartest person I’ve ever met. If they ran into a situation Namjoon thought they wouldn’t be able to handle, he wouldn’t even think to risk the lives of the people he’s with. He won’t let you down.” You’re smiling tightly, clearly trying to keep the tension light but Jungkook suddenly finds that his heart is not in the mood. 

He wants to believe you. He wants to believe in Namjoon. But he knows what his dreams are. And that voice. These are things he cannot ignore no matter how hard he tries. 

But the thing is, his dreams are real—Kim Namjoon does not keep his promise. Jungkook can see this across his face the moment Namjoon returns to camp, alone. 

“Not only did they know we were coming,” Namjoon explains quietly to the camp counselors, late in the night, at a meeting spot reserved for higher ups. “They had taken over the museum a few weeks before we showed up. It was an ambush. I… I couldn’t save Taehyung.” 

No. 

“No!” Jungkook cries out, standing up and making his position known—loitering in the background of the meeting. 

Namjoon meets his gaze from across the gap that separates them. “Jungkook?” 

Jungkook’s head is spinning, his breath coming out in gasps, as he backs up slowly away from the growing crowd of camp counselors. “Y-You promised me!” He accuses loudly, pointing at Namjoon. “You promised nothing would happen to Taehyung! You lied to me!” 

“Jungkook, I’m sorry.” Namjoon steps out from amongst the group of counselors, a hand out in front of him as if approaching a frightened animal. “We were overwhelmed. If I could take it back and save him, I would—!” 

“Shut up!” Jungkook cries louder, running his hands through his hair. He should have known, should have known that weight in his gut was a warning and not a feeling. The tears in his eyes make it blurry to see anything to understand anything—because Taehyung is dead, along with his kindness and compassion and the safety he brought. “I hate you, I hate all of you!” 

Suddenly, there’s a rumble in the ground, a shake in the Earth so intense that a hushed silence falls over the crowd. At once, the ground splits open and a roar of fire explodes up from the pit, threatening to drag in anyone who gets closer. There are screams from the campers, from the counselors, but Jungkook doesn’t care. He’s so angry, so hurt, so lost. He doesn’t hear any of it. 

Until he hears your voice. “Jungkook!” You scream across the gap. 

Jungkook stills upon hearing you, lowering his arms and opening his eyes. Blinking away tears, he feels his heart rate slow back down to a manageable pace. The split in the ground closes before he looks up. He sees the camp counselors up ahead, equal looks of fear and horror across their eyes. 

He turns just enough to see you. You, with your wide eyes, looking confused and upset by what he has just done. And Jungkook feels nothing but disappointment. He has never done anything like this before, and he doesn’t know what it means. 

So he runs away. He runs away from Namjoon and this god forsaken camp that he knows will remind him of Taehyung. 

He runs away from the whispers from campers, a representation to serve that Jungkook will never truly belong here. 

He runs away from you, the only other person he would think to trust from now on. He can’t handle any of this anymore. 

. 

Two weeks after Jungkook runs away from Camp Half Blood, and a shadow of a figure appears to him in the midst of the evening air. It’s a ghost with a dark twisted smile, who calls himself Min Yoongi—a king in a past life, who now resides in the Underworld as a judge for all souls. 

He tells Jungkook that Jungkook is a son of Hades—which explains why he knew about Taehyung’s death, why he split the ground open all those weeks ago. There’s something borderline dangerous about Yoongi’s smile. 

Every fiber and nerve in Jungkook’s body is begging him not to trust this ghost. But, of course, Jungkook doesn’t listen. He stopped listening to things a long time ago. 

Besides, Yoongi soon makes offers that Jungkook cannot escape from. A way to bring Taehyung back, a way to strike revenge upon Kim Namjoon, a way—! 

Jungkook blinks the thoughts away. He had dozed off again, something he’s been doing a lot lately. 

“You should sleep,” Yoongi advises, his voice more of a whisper than anything else. There’s a touch of eerie to him, in his paper white skin and gray eyes. 

Even though Jungkook doesn’t desire sleep, far from it, he settles with listening to the ghost anyways. So he curls up on a makeshift pillow crafted from his beaten down (stolen) leather jacket, and closes his eyes. 

But instead of the previous nights, where he dreams about death and destruction, dreams up different ways Taehyung could have survived, dreams up Namjoon not caring about Taehyung’s death—he dreams of you. 

Dreams about you are such a rarity now, but they always make him feel warm. Content. Almost satisfied. 

In the dream, the pair of you are situated underneath a big tree at the edge of the forest. You’re in the middle of teaching him about Mythomagic—a card game he had immediately developed an interest for—and he realizes he’s dreaming about a memory this time. When he steals a look at you, he sees sunlight curling around your form, lighting up your hair and your eyes. He hears your laughter and sees the crinkle in your eyes. He can feel your happiness and the innocence in the air around you. He remembers the peacefulness, the calming nature of you. 

He misses it—he misses you. 

A cold chill running down his spine startles Jungkook awake as he springs into a sitting position. The fire before him has long since been put out, and Min Yoongi is floating in front of him. The latter wears a sharp look. “You’re dreaming about her again, aren’t you?” 

Jungkook sighs. Good things in his life could only last for so long. He runs a hand through his hair and turns to gather his jacket into his arms. “I thought I asked you to stop peeking into my mind.” 

“You were smiling,” Yoongi observes quietly. 

“That’s none of your business,” Jungkook snaps. 

“It must have been a good dream. I couldn’t see the contents of the dream, just the subject.” 

“Stay out of my head!” Jungkook hisses, standing up and sliding his arms into the jacket. 

“You care deeply about her.” 

“What do I have to say to get you to stop talking about her?” Jungkook retorts hotly, feeling his temper rise. It had been a good dream. The best one he’s had all week. 

Yoongi looks at him passively. “Just answer one of my questions,” He settles calmly. 

Jungkook grunts. “Fine. What is it?” 

“Why exactly do you care so much about her? You hardly know her.” 

Jungkook slides his backpack over his shoulder. He ignores the touch of passive aggressiveness in Yoongi’s tone. “She was the only one at camp who went out of their way to make me feel like they actually gave a shit.” 

“She cares more about Namjoon than you,” Yoongi interjects bluntly. “She and Namjoon have been friends for longer. She only talked to you because of Namjoon, after all. And don’t you hate him?” 

“Shut up.” 

“You worry she doesn’t care for you the way you do. Haven’t you wondered why she hasn’t tried looking for you?” 

“Shut up.” 

“She was only nice to you because Namjoon asked her to be nice to you.” 

“Shut the fuck up!” Jungkook explodes, turning towards Yoongi with his arm out in a striking motion. His arm cuts clean through the ghost, and he watches as the pieces wisp away into the air. Either way, it doesn’t matter. Yoongi will be back soon, probably to reprimand him, but mostly to carry on as if this hadn’t happened—to continue asking questions and continue trying to piss Jungkook off. It doesn’t matter. Jungkook could never bring Yoongi any harm. The latter is a ghost, after all. 

There’s still a lot he doesn’t understand. 

. 

Jungkook calls off his deal with Yoongi shortly after the You Incident—in which a series of dreams about you sent Yoongi on an accusatory streak that sent him back to the Underworld where he rightfully belongs. It’s good because he doesn’t want a ghost meddling in his personal business, and his personal feelings. 

It’s bad, however, because Jungkook no longer has an evil ghost by his side that offers up revenge. 

This leaves him to do the next best thing—try and summon Taehyung. 

As a son of Hades, his powers do include communicating with ghosts like Yoongi and cracking holes into the ground, but it also involves the ability to summon deceased souls. All that is required is a pit, some food, and a cantation in Ancient Greek. It’s supposed to be simple, and in a way it is. 

Except when the soul he’s trying to summon doesn’t want to be found, which is exactly how it has gone with Taehyung. He’s tried to get Taehyung’s attention for weeks now, to no luck. And he’s tried everything. 

Jungkook scowls to himself as he takes in the local convenience store to buy the various items he’ll need to attempt another summoning. Animal blood is one of the best tools for this type of power, but animal blood doesn’t exactly like up on shelves in aisles of grocery stores—so Jungkook has settled with fast food meals, chips, or anything cheap he can get his hands on. 

He glares at the lineup of sodas in front of his gaze, trying to focus but he finds his mind wandering against through his memories, picking the ones that are most guaranteed to make him feel like shit. 

His mind settles on a line Yoongi said to him countless times regarding you: She was only nice to you because Namjoon asked her to be nice to you. 

His hands shake in his pockets, determined not to believe it, but finding himself pool with doubt nonetheless. 

“Jungkook.” 

He jumps out of his skin at the familiar voice he’s spent the past many months thinking about, as the sensation rings through his body. He experiences brief flashes of emotions he hasn’t undergone in awhile: peace, warmth, hope. He turns on his heel and can’t help the way his eyes widen at the sight of you. 

The months that have passed since his disappearance really does wonders to your face. You look older. You look wary, but well prepared. Most of all, your eyes are still that bright light he remembers more often than he cares to admit. But you also look sad, like the sight of Jungkook is worse than you expected. 

“Jungkook…” You say again, quieter this time. 

You saying his name again brings him back to reality, brings him back to where he is and why he’s here. He doesn’t need you. Like Yoongi said, you’re friends with Namjoon—and Namjoon is the reason why Taehyung is dead. His voice sounds hollow. “What are you doing here?” 

“I should be asking you the same question.” 

His scowl deepens as he settles for a Mountain Dew on the rack. “That’s none of your business.” He catches the hurt that flickers in your eyes, but he turns towards the cashier before he can feel sorry for you. 

You trail after him. “Please don’t shut me out,” You plead gently. You stay behind Jungkook as he pays for his food. “I came here looking for you.” 

“Awfully convenient—but I don’t think you should be wasting your time,” Jungkook grumbles, bounding out of the shop and stopping along the sidewalk. “Why don’t you go back to Namjoon and keep being his best friend and just leave me alone?” 

A sort of realization seems to settle in your eyes, as if you’ve just confirmed something. “I’m not leaving,” You say firmly after a moment. “I’m here by myself, Jungkook. No campers, no Namjoon, it’s just me. I know you’re mad at Namjoon, and you have every right to be upset. I know why you cracked a hole in the ground. I understand all that now. But I really think you should stop blaming Namjoon and hurting yourself. Namjoon didn’t mean to let Taehyung die—!” 

Jungkook whirls around, his eyes a twin set of fire. “Don’t say his name,” He snaps roughly, but falls silent when you don’t even flinch. 

How could he raise his voice at the only person who has gone out of their way to ensure his safety? 

He turns away. He doesn’t apologize, and you don’t ask him to. 

The pair of you don’t say anything for a long moment—Jungkook just makes his way down the sidewalk and you follow along. 

He stops after a moment. He turns himself just enough so you can see his profile. “Fine,” He says, trying to ignore the flutter in his chest when you flash him an appreciative smile. “I’ll let you tag along. But only because I feel bad for snapping at you. I’ve just…” He sighs. “Been going through a lot.” 

You step forward to stand by his side. “We can talk about anything you want to, Jungkook. I’m still your friend.” 

He swallows thickly at your offer, hoping that you don’t notice. If you do, you remain silent. “Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to.” 

. 

Two days after you join Jungkook’s travels, you seem to decide he is calm enough for a sensitive question. But you’re sneaky about it. You wait until the night, when both of you are curling around a fire—you in your sleeping bag, and Jungkook with his signature leather jacket makeshift pillow underneath his head.  “Why are you so afraid to talk about Taehyung’s death?” 

He flinches at the mention of Taehyung’s name, knowing that snapping and causing a scene would do nothing to stop you from asking the question over and over again. You had given him a few days, but something about your tone tonight tells him that you won’t take no for an answer. 

Jungkook turns his head to look at you. Your eyes are flickering against the fire. “I’ll answer your question if you answer one of mine.” 

You shrug a shoulder. “Sure.” 

He sighs, momentarily stumped. “I’m afraid that if I admit it, or let other people admit it in front of me, it’s true and there’s nothing I can do to bring him back.” 

“I don’t think Taehyung would want you to bring him back, Jungkook. He saved Namjoon that day; he sacrificed himself for a reason—!” 

“Okay, my turn,” Jungkook interrupts, refusing to hear any of it. “Why are you here? Really?” 

You are quiet for a second. “I was sent on a quest to come find you,” You reply after a moment. “The oracle told me about a prophecy where you were in danger. It said you had made a deal with Min Yoongi, said you were considering a soul for a soul trade to get Taehyung back. I was scared for you, Jungkook.” You sit up in your sleeping bag, leaning across the space between the two of you. “My turn. Why don’t you want to believe that Taehyung sacrificed himself to save Namjoon?”

“Because why would he do that?” Jungkook retorts back. “Why would he leave behind everything he cared about? Why would he leave me—?” The words choke in the back of his throat as his heart rams painfully against his chest, the underlying reason for his bitterness surfacing up again. He thought he had smashed his grief down far enough where it would never have to see sunlight again. “It’s nothing. I’m not playing this game anymore.” 

You are quiet, watching as Jungkook curls into himself and turns his back to you. “When are you going to start letting me in?” You whisper. “I didn’t accept that quest for no reason, Jungkook, I came because I care about you. I want to help you.” 

I’ve already let you in, far more than I wanted to, Jungkook thinks to himself instead, wrapping his arms tighter around himself. 

“I know that Taehyung would have never wanted to leave you. He cared about you a lot, and saw you as the little brother he never had. You guys deserved more time. You deserved more time to have the family you never got to have. You wanna know the last thing Taehyung said to me, after introducing us to each other all that time ago? He said that you guys only knew each other for a short time, but you were the strongest person Taehyung had known. I know how much Taehyung wanted to be there for you. But he also had other responsibilities.” Your fingers twitch as if you want to reach over and grab onto Jungkook. “Namjoon had been the leader of the quest, he was the main priority. Taehyung had to make the call. He would never have wanted you to take the guilt for a decision he made on his own.” 

Jungkook hesitates, before rolling onto his back. “Why does Namjoon deserve my forgiveness?” 

Finally, he spares a glance at you. You’re still looking at him, gaze sharp over the fire. It distracts Jungkook momentarily, as his mind thinks about how different you are from fire. Fire can be harsh, blunt, unforgiving, and relentless. Like him. 

But you are like the sun—bright, warm, longing. You refuse to give up on him. 

“Because it’s the right thing to do,” You whisper. “Because everyone deserves a second chance.” 

He stares at you. He doesn’t know what longing dances behind his eyes, but you seem to know, because you avert your gaze and grumble something about going to sleep. 

He watches you turn to your side, and he wonders. 

. 

Jungkook has tried to summon Taehyung a grand total of ten times in the weeks prior to his run in with you. Each time is met with failure, because it seems like Taehyung does not want to be summoned which is disappointing and disheartening. To be honest, it makes Jungkook less and less enthusiastic to keep attempting something he cannot guarantee. 

But as you stand next to him over an empty pit the pair of you have spent the last thirty minutes digging up, you take your hand in his. You smile at him, nodding. “It’ll work this time.” 

So Jungkook pours in the Mountain Dew and dumps out the bag of chips he’s acquired into the hole. As he repeats the same cantation he’s said for the past ten times, the food starts bubbling as spirits from the Underworld fight to get a taste of the offering. 

“Show me Taehyung!” Jungkook calls out, although he sounds worried and unsure. 

At once, a spirit with a bright light, brighter than the others around it, shines through. It slides to the front to drink from the food at the bottom of the pit. The figure morphs and forms into Kim Taehyung. 

Despite everything, despite the long hours that Jungkook has committed to summoning Taehyung, the sight of his friend does not fill him with joy. It fills his eyes with tears. 

You notice, you always do. You squeeze his hand, but you also let go of him. “I’ll leave you two.” 

So Taehyung talks. He talks and talks, about his quest, about his sacrifice, about Namjoon, about forgiveness. 

This is something Jungkook has wanted for weeks. Yet, the longer Taehyung talks, the deeper he can feel the rifts of frustration. 

Frustration at Namjoon, for whom everyone is telling Jungkook to forgive. 

Frustration at Taehyung, for leaving him drowning in the sorrows of his own nightmares. For leaving him, even when he wasn’t ready to be left. 

Frustration at you, for always caring about him, even when he’s sure he doesn’t even care about himself anymore. 

When Jungkook releases Taehyung back to the Underworld, he feels like a hollow shell. He simply stands there, in front of the pit that brought forth his best friend. His mind is whirling with questions, with a curiosity. 

You approach him slowly. “Jungkook…” 

“You should go back,” He mutters. 

You actually look shocked at this now. “What?” 

He turns on his heel to address you properly. “Go back to camp.” He doesn’t mean to sound so harsh, but the words come out like a snap. He tries to reprimand the situation when your face falls just a fraction. “Go back to camp,” He tries again, a little softer this time. He keeps his gaze on you, even when you look up to stare at him. “It’ll be okay. I just need a little bit of time.” 

At this, you nod slowly. You try for a smile. “Come back home, okay?” 

He thinks he knows what you mean, but you disappear before he can ask you. 

. 

He returns to Camp Half Blood after a few days, with his leather jacket and black iron sword. The campers that guard the border part for him like the Red Sea—with the exception of one camper. He’s an older camper, who even in the dark shines brighter than the moon overhead. It’s a son of Apollo quality. It belongs to Jung Hoseok, a camper Jungkook met when he first arrived at camp. Hoseok is like sunshine—he’s always bright and cheerful with a positive disposition. 

Today, despite still having that glint in his eyes, the boy wears a much more solemn expression. Almost as if he’s seen everything that Jungkook has gone through. Or, at the very least, has heard about it. “Hey Jungkook…” Hoseok greets. He doesn’t leave much room for conversation, because he gestures past the archway entrance, down the hill, towards the Big House—the main meeting place for campers, the central point of Camp Half Blood. “She’s waiting for you.” 

He doesn’t need a list of camp names to know who Hoseok is talking about. Jungkook just mumbles his thanks, trying not to draw too much attention to the flush against his cheeks as he follows the pathway down into camp. It’s late, so the grounds are devoid of people, making it easier for Jungkook to step onto the porch of the Big House. 

You’re on the porch, pacing back and forth with your thumb in between your teeth and you look nervous. You’re mumbling something underneath your breath. 

But your ears are just as good as your eyes, because as soon as Jungkook steps on the wood, you’re whirling around to face him. “Jungkook!” You exclaim, approaching him with tentative steps. “Y-You came back.” 

He levels you with a look, feeling a bashfulness overcome him. “You asked me to,” He says. There’s a slight pause. “I told you I needed time to think, and I have. You were right. Everyone deserves a second chance. It wasn’t fair of me to go after Namjoon the way I did.” 

You nod, giving him a small smile. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.” 

Jungkook continues to stare at you, feeling a fondness overcoming him. “Thanks,” He finally settles with. “For, you know, finding me. For not giving up on me.” He looks down, scratching the back of his neck. “I should probably go find Namjoon and apologize.” 

You wave away his concern. “Namjoon is asleep.” You angle your head towards the oceanside that surrounds the camp. “Want to take a walk with me?” 

So you lead him through the camp, past the cabins of campers, past the archery set, past all that, to finally the beach located along the outskirts of the camp. It’s home to many boat races, surfing adventures, and firework displays. Currently, it’s devoid of activity. Right now there is merely a wooden pier that stretches out into the ocean, one that you and Jungkook walk down before you settle down at the edge. 

You pat the spot next to you, and Jungkook sits down. Since you don’t say anything, he allows himself to stare out at the horizon, and the movement of the ocean. When you still don’t say anything, Jungkook dares himself to look at you. The moonlight is cascading across your features. You look like home. You feel like home. 

You look at him suddenly, and knit your eyebrows. “Do I have something on my face?” 

“Oh, uh, no…” He trails off, forcing himself to look away from you. Should he tell you? Not tell you, but… “Hey Y/N,” Jungkook speaks before he can think otherwise. 

You look at him. “Yes?” 

Jungkook straightens his back a little. “I-I think I should tell you… I didn’t come back just for Namjoon. Actually, I came back to tell you that I, uh, well, I missed you—I mean, hanging out with you—I wanted to be a better person because of you—I mean, not just because of you, but—!” 

You start to smile at that, before you do something unexpected. You lean over and kiss his cheek. 

He feels like his body has just been shocked, the sensation dancing up and down his spine. “W-What was that for?” He’s trying to sound confused, but his nerves immediately start getting the best of him. 

Your smile is still present, but it’s a kind smile that touches your eyes and assures him of his choice to return. “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice. You still wear your emotions in your eyes. That’s one that hasn’t changed over the past year.” 

He scoffs, but his face feels hot and he’s sure the effect he’s trying to go for is lost anyways. 

[yukippe]

my mind that burned

lesbian piper for day 2 of @piperweek ! ao3

 now, piper knows what it meant. she doesn’t tell her dad, she tells him what matters. introduces him to the people she cares about. she spares him the pain. 

 he wanted the best for her. sometimes that meant trying to hide how much the world sucked. but a dad’s dreams of protecting his daughter don’t always come true.  piper remembers being seven and on set for the last day of shooting for her dad's first big blockbuster. she remembers the whispers of the crew on set, remembers stumbling into a room where several men were laughing as two women kissed. she remembers tripping back out and finding her dad and going home. 

 things stick to your skin. piper knows her aunts sara and jess, knows their easy smiles and knows that one always has an arm around the other. they’re in love with each other, always have been for as long as piper’s known. when she was younger she didn’t know that others could think it was wrong, she knew that they were in love and her family loved them and she loved their daughter rebecca who was five years younger than her. 

 things stick to your skin. women who love women and men who love men exist in strange corners of her dad’s work, they exist freely in her family and in the home her family’s built. when piper looks back she thinks of the balancing act her heart went through. she thinks about how it was easy to remember her aunts and her home before they moved. 

 when piper was ten, her dad moved them to los angeles. she loved learning to surf with her dad, she loved sinking her feet in the sand, she loved how the sun still warms her back like it did in oklahoma. she missed the family they left behind, but her dad promised visits. 

 she never loved the schools. she’s never had a great track record with them. she was always hopeful when she started at a new one, though. her dad still dropped her off for her first day when she was ten. she didn’t end up making any friends.  she did hear her classmates mock people like her aunts. it’s the one school she doesn’t feel bad at all for getting suspended from, even when her dad gives her sad eyes after he gets the call on the school's story of how she punched a kid in the face. at ten, piper forgets to tell her version.   when she looks back, piper thinks being ten and in a city away from her family, with her dad taking more and more roles and kids that ran their mouths about shit their parents told them were wrong is where it started. 

 later, at sixteen, holding her first boyfriend's hand in hers as she feels her pulse race for the first time she can remember as she looks at someone else is where it ends. reyna. piper had been worried for this meeting, worried that jason would suddenly remember being in love with the girl he knew for years, the first person from camp jupiter he remembered at all. reyna. her long neat braid rests over her shoulder, a cape pinned to the top of the gold plate on her chest, the laurels in her hair, the intense look in her eyes as she stares them all down. jason squeezed her hand. piper barely noticed. 

 she doesn’t know what it means. it’s been so long piper doesn’t remember what it means. reyna whisked annabeth away and there’s a spike of jealousy in her chest as she wondered why annabeth got the tour around the city when she was stuck with jason - but she knew that’s not what she should be thinking. this is jason, the golden boy who’s taken up almost all the space in her head with fake memories he doesn’t share, and real memories she’s done her best to create. he’s the boy she’s supposed to like. he looks like the younger version of the actors who were cast for the roles of hero and love interest that her dad could never get. 

 it all went to shit in the end, leo possessed and fire rained down on new rome. jason helped her up onto the argo and when she looked back she saw imperial gold armour and flowing purple capes and her fingers twitched and she wondered what was wrong with her. 

 she didn’t try to think about it. piper discovered very quickly that the more you try to avoid thinking about something, the more it haunts your thoughts. it’s in leo constantly hitting on girls he sees when they stopped for a quick quest on their way to greece even when he didn’t seem to actually be interested, it’s in how annabeth tried to tease hazel about a crush on frank no matter how many times hazel insisted he was way older because she was the only one out of the girls without a boyfriend, it’s in annabeth and percy being found in the stables having gone out of their way to find time together and piper realizing she was thankful jason hadn’t tried the same thing. 

 she still couldn’t think about it as much as her mind would like. piper was busy charmspeaking eidolons and fighting monsters and trying to be the girl that plans picnics for her boyfriend. she was the girl that didn’t even know it’s her boyfriend’s birthday. she got a cornucopia she doesn’t understand the point of, she got a sword hazel taught her how to use, she tried to remember why she picked a dagger over a gun. they lost percy and annabeth. gaea tried to turn them against each other and she tried to turn them against each other and she tried to turn them against each other. she talked to her mother and wondered how her father fell in love with her. 

 it’s the part of her life that people in the know will ask her about for the rest of her life and it’s the time of her life she tries to block out the most. piper tried to fight a war with a year of spotty training and she remembered the family she found in camp half blood, the family she missed in oklahoma, the friendships she made in a flying boat. 

 now, she tries not to remember that she lost her best friend.

 at sixteen piper had to fight a war and she doesn’t remember half of it and at the end of it all in camp half blood looking at jason and missing leo and wondering what the fuck she did for the past year she thought of the memories hera gave her and she held his hand as his girlfriend. “jason,” she said. “jason i think we should break up.” and she let go of his hand as maybe a friend. 

 the breath she let out as she saw jason nod felt like a door opening, finding a key she hasn’t seen in years, a memory she’s lost warming her heart. 

 she found reyna before the romans left, she didn’t know how she felt around her. she still hadn’t had time to think about it. but, as reyna confided in her the words her mother gave her that had been messing with her mind, piper tried to remember everything she learned as head counsellor of the children of love. 

 “it could mean a lot of things,” piper said. “maybe you’re meant to fall in love with a mortal or a god.”

 reyna nodded, looking out at the forest and the strawberry fields and everywhere but piper’s eyes. piper was missing something and she dug deeper and thought of her aunts who she hadn’t seen in years and she thought of the word demigod and she tried again. “or,” piper said. “maybe you’re meant to fall in love with the daughter of a god.” 

 her eyes met reyna’s and reyna’s gaze burned the same way the sun does on a hot summer day. “maybe,” reyna said, her voice little more than a whisper. somewhere inside of her, piper thought about how there were more things she wanted to say. but, reyna had a camp to go lead and they both had lives they needed to relearn to live. “piper, send me one of those iris messages if you’re near new rome,” reyna said with a smile. a strong smile because reyna seemed to be built of strength even after a war. piper promised she would and then reyna left. 

 piper remembers how after the war she goes back to her cabin to find her half siblings turning their barbie dreamhouse camp cabin into a pillow fort. piper saw drew throw a pair of fuzzy bunny slippers at her and ducked just in time, matching grins grew on their faces. after the war she got the chance to learn her siblings and learn how to be daughter of aphrodite when she wasn’t in love. 

 she spent a year at camp and she missed leo’s questioning of the camp education system and she missed her dad and her family and she missed the  even that had gone back to new rome and she missed the campers that leave after the summer and go back to school. drew and lacy both went back to their school in brooklyn. before drew left, piper found her. when piper met drew she saw the picture of the bullies that made her life miserable. ater, saying goodbye to her sister piper knew a very different drew.  

 “yes, piper?” drew asked, eyebrow raised, lip glossed mouth turned down. piper saw drew’s eyes twinkle and while she might love her sister, drew could still be a lot. 

 “be safe,” she said. 

 drew sighed at that, but the corner of her mouth quirked back up, “don’t worry piper. the most i have to worry about is this bratty thirteen year old figuring out when the gsa meets.”

 piper threw a pillow at drew and drew threw it back, it hit piper right in the head because drew had ridiculous aim and was much better suited to throwing daggers than piper. it was the closest thing drew had given her to a hug at that point and as piper watched her leave she felt her fingers twitch and she thought about the different types of love that aphrodite is supposed to represent. 

 as a daughter of love piper shares a quirk with her siblings. it’s the need for a first kiss that matters. at sixteen piper had had kisses from a boyfriend she’d let go when she realized she didn’t know what she liked about him. but, she had never had a kiss that was just a kiss. 

 it’s the kiss piper calls her first kiss later in life. at sixteen, in a camp during the year with most of her friends gone piper met a daughter of hermes and piper learned to mind the porch of cabin 11 for booby traps. at sixteen, when piper was trying to decide if she wanted to live in the mortal world or in the corners of camp half blood or new rome piper fell into a relationship with a girl who was happy just to mess around. 

 she didn’t know if she was ready. she knew that she liked the shape of the girls mouth, she liked the way the girl never let her win whenever they raced to the beach, she liked the way the girl always snuck over to her table at meals even though it wasn’t allowed. she will always like that the first kiss that was just a kiss is on the lava rock climbing wall because the girl wanted an edge to get to the top first. later, piper will prescribe that everyone has one easy relationship. at sixteen piper learned she liked girls. at sixteen she had girlfriend that didn’t mean much and she broke up with her after a month and piper learned that she had had something she would never want to forget, for the first time in a while. 

 leo came home on february fourteenth with a heart shaped chocolate box. piper kind of wanted to hit him, but he was her best friend and he was alive and they iris messaged jason, who was in the city going to normal school for the first time ever, and she hugged leo and only left him one chocolate and she listened to his stories about calypso, 

 “you know,” leo said, fiddling with the chocolate wrapper. “she’s with the hunters now. i went to save her because i thought i was in love with her and i knew it was wrong but - i don’t think i like girls. i think i just thought i was supposed to. i didn’t really love calypso i just. i knew i was on her island because i was supposed to fall in love with her, and like she’s great and all and i made her promise to send me the weird postcards she finds as she travels the world, but i don’t really miss her like i should’ve.”

 yeah. piper thought she knew as she stole a glance at jason in his dorm room. 

 the summer after the war was the first summer that camp half blood had known peace in years. piper got a bead with a squirrel for the infestation they had to fight off. lacy got the whole cabin to paint each other's toes and piper realized she'd never loved camp more. 

 at just turned seventeen, piper made a choice she never regrets and she visited camp jupiter. 

 it’s beautiful today and it was beautiful then. percy was set to go to university in new rome, even though annabeth was aiming for an ivy league, and piper could see the appeal. she wasn’t not sure if she’d like to go to university in new rome, but she thought she wouldn’t mind living there. she liked the idea of a city that’s safe. there was talk about a camp half blood equivalent but cities aren’t built overnight. 

 of course, the reason she was visiting new rome wasn’t for the beauty of the city. it was for the girl she still hasn’t gotten out of her head. not that she tried too hard. 

 now, piper likes to look back on the trip. she never tells anyone the details and nobody knows to ask. at seventeen, having had a boyfriend she realized she didn’t like and a girlfriend she did, but not enough to stay with, she went to visit a girl who’d made her think. the trip leads to a tour of a hidden city and piper brushing her fingers against reyna’s and neither of them doing anything more, piper didn’t stop liking reyna, but she wasn’t ready to try to date a girl who lived six hours away. 

 instead, piper brought leo to los angeles and finished a senior year. she iris messaged with her half siblings and skyped with her aunts and uncle and cousins from oklahoma and applies to university and had to pick between oklahoma, los angeles and new york. she went away and came back and changed her major and she watched a city grow in and next too and around camp half blood. she tried dating a boy and realized it really was just girls for her and learned the feeling of the word lesbian on her tongue. 

 then, she heard the girl she never let go of was transferring out of her own hidden city to the university she’d grown into. and at twenty, piper finally gets a date with the girl that sparked her to learn to be again. 

 at twenty two, piper thinks she’s unlearned almost all the things she never should have had to learn.

 in kindergarten lots of kids get married. when piper was five she met a girl with silly bands on her wrists and braids with beads and they traded ring pops and took turns on the swingset. she doesn’t remember her kindergarten wife until she’s twenty two and sitting between her aunts with reyna across from her smiling as her aunts tell embarrassing stories. now, she knows why the things when she was little hurt the way they did. she knows why her heart goes soft when she looks at reyna, she knows why theres a different sense of safety in between her aunts. 

 she reaches out and grabs reyna’s hand and when reyna plays with the bracelets her siblings made her at camp she doesn’t even think about the past, too happy in the present.

[indipindy16]

Heyyyyy, so about that doc with the AU ideas.... (Please feed me I yearn for content)

im obsessed with the idea of monoma and aizawa being related to afo lol. you only see like 3 quirks in the whole series that are based on other quirks - what i would call ‘meta quirks,’ that would only have any function in a world of quirked people. so ofc these 3 quirks have to be related:

afo decided to have a bunch of kids, to see if he could make noumus out of them which retained their brains after being given a bunch of quirks. he impregnated a bunch of women lol, but he kept tabs on them. as soon as the kids turned 4 and presented their quirk, they would be kidnapped by the doctor and brought into the lab. most of the kids had quirks based on quirks (seeing quirks, stealing quirks, copying quirks, erasing quirks…) and are various ages. aizawa, monoma and midoriya were some of them, but aizawa got saved by his badass mother when he was still a kid, so he was already gone by the time midoriya and monoma came around. the two of them manage to escape while afo is still recovering from his fight with all might, and since monoma’s mother was killed by afo, he goes to live with midoriya and his mother. they go off the grid and run away from afo. in this au midoriya is quirkless, up until he meets all might and it goes as usual. umm could be from monoma’s pov, and include monoshin because that’s cute. basically after the sports festival, afo finds monoma again and in the summer camp they kidnap him instead of bakugou. (the reason why aizawa was never caught or taken back by afo is because he won the whole sports fest and became too famous/well protected to be easily stolen back - since monoma didn’t make the fight rounds, he’s a perfect target. afo only knew the kids by their quirks, he never actually met them, so he doesn’t realise that midoriya is one of his kids as well because mido has a quirk now.) anyway so after they kidnap monoma back, he and midoriya spill the beans to the ua faculty, aizawa has a midlife crisis over the fact that he now has younger siblings, and afo continues to be a dick who doesn’t pay child support.

just some sweets stuff as well:

Christmas cake: Japanese slang for an unmarried woman over 25 who is considered undesirable as a wife, in the same way that Christmas cakes are considered useless after Christmas Day.

Good thing for Jirou, she never cared much about being ‘desirable’ to the opposite sex anyway.

-> a momojirou story about jirou’s 26th birthday and momo reassuring her that she is the best gf ever, and that she loves her very much. pro hero gfs <3

*

like. the trope of aizawa adopting shinsou? well what about instead… hawks adopting tokoyami?? maybe he comes from a super religious family and they tried to exorcise the ‘demon’ from him, protective services put him in the foster system, and he ends up with really shitty foster families, and his quirk is considered ‘dangerous.’ but then our boy hawks swoops in and goes ‘u know what? i’m not letting my intern get disrespected like this’ and adopts him. obviously hawks is still young himself (22 i think), so he’s not very good at the whole parenting thing, but miruko helps him out. he becomes an older brother figure for tokoyami. gen found family fluff ensues

*

bEST JEANIST AS A TEENAGE FASHION ICON

thats it, thats the idea

*

HAIKYUU AU - no quirks. just volleyball

so the ua boys volleyball team is on the rocks. its been pretty much non-existent and turned to dust at this point. but, it once own the nationals.

izuku’s mum runs this second hand / antique / trinket store, and izuku helps out sometimes. one day, he finds some old sports tapes in the back and watches them - they’re of the year when ua was at nationals, and their striker, yagi toshinori, inspires izuku to play volleyball.

bakugo is on the school team and he threatens / bullies izuku not to join, so izuku has to train on his own. he learns shitty technique, but he ends up building some muscle by clearing out the beach.

izuku gets into ua, and when he goes to apply for the volleyball team, ofc bakugo picks a fight. the other first-years who join the team are todoroki, kaminari, shinsou, kirishima, and iida. there aren’t any second years - they all got expelled - but mirio and tamaki are on the team as third years, and nejirou is the team manager. their teacher sponsor is a new teacher this year, and it’s left ambiguous. there’s the whole ‘get over ur differences if u want to join’ thing, and then woohoo! team!

turns out their teacher sponsor is aizawa. he drags in the now-retired-due-to-injury yagi toshinori to be the coach. when aizawa went to ua, the volleyball team was too small to go to any tournaments - he’s determined to turn it around and let these kids live their dreams.

some ‘canon? what’s that?’ ideas:

just a really wholesome story about inko and mitsuki being besties. met in middle school or something, supported each other through everything… just gals being the best of pals...

or i mean u could make it gay, that’s always an option (and have izuku and katsuki grow up as actual bros, and actually be friendly to one another? what a shocker) - like, the two of them get sperm donors and are pregnant at the same time so the kids can be twins or something. and ofc you’d expect katsuki to be closest to mitsuki and for inko to be closest to izuku, but then to make it a TWIST add some great bonding between inko + katsuki and mitsuki + izuku!! i’ve never really seen any mitsuki + izuku bonding in stories before, so that’d be pretty cool

*

izuku gets hit by a villain’s quirk during a big villain attack when he’s 7, turning him part-cat. the villain dies during the attack, so they can’t erase his quirk’s effects - they’d have to surgically remove the ears and tail, or get an expensive quirk specialist in. izuku decides he likes being a nekomimi, so he keeps them and gets being part-cat officially registered as his quirk. he has better senses and agility, and he can talk to cats now i guess. also his eyes are cat eyes. he doesn’t pass the ua exam, so he goes into the general department instead, but he does really well in the sports festival and gets transferred into the hero course with shinsou. (this is all just because i need a valid excuse to make izuku have cat ears.)

some ‘future au’ ideas:

all of the pro heroes merch lines - deku’s ’t-shirt’ shirts, tokoyami’s edgy emo/goth hoodies, iida’s ingenium trainers, bakugou’s popping candy chocolate, todoroki’s own brand of scar cream, HAGAKURE’S CAMO COLLECTION OMG the possibilities are endless  

---i made hagakure’s camo for her bday drawing

(i use a strikethrough so i know which ideas i’ve used or posted anywhere. i think that once i put an idea on the internet, it’s probably free reign, so if you want to use any of these for fics or art go ahead. i’d just appreciate it is you could link back to me haha)

5 years after graduating from the General Studies department of UA, Hitoshi opened his own agency. As a private detective.

By the time he’s 25, he’s settled in and relatively comfortable with his career choice. So when his work phone rings one day and he’s still half-asleep he easily opens with, “Shinsou Detective Agency. Before you ask, I do not investigate cheating spouses or missing dogs and I do not screen potential employees for companies.” He paused. “I’ll investigate missing cats, though.”

The person on the other end took a harsh breath, like an almost-laugh, and responded gruffly, “Hm. Good to know if Jelly ever gets lost.”

-> aka shinsou is a PI and aizawa contacts him for help on a case. aizawa never sought out shinsou after the sports festival, being too busy with 1-a’s insane antics, and so shinsou went on to never become a hero. maybe he’s also a vigilante on the side? idk. anyway so yeah aizawa gives him temporary permission to use his quirk during the case. they investigate, blah blah, the point is that afterwards aizawa gets shinsou a licence and takes him on as a sidekick (the same way ingenium offered to koichi in vigilantes)

i have new ideas on the daily. this doc is just growing

keep in mind, i have given to you here only a few of the shortest ones. there are several huge paragraphs of full-au ideas (like where izuku has a quirk, and the entire story follows canon)

these are, ostensibly, ideas for fics that i never write because i’m lazy. but some of them i do end up using for art or comics, so... yeah. most of the comics i’ve posted were originally just little scripts in this doc. an example:

yamada and reformed!shirakumo are walking together, with coffees

shirakumo: so then i - oh, your phone’s wringing

(yamada’s ringtone is the nyancat song, and the contact name is ‘daddy’)

shirakumo: haha, you still call ur dad ‘daddy’? i thought you got over that in high school (taking a sip on the coffee)

yamada: (answering the phone, keeping eye contact with shirakumo) hey, shouta, what’s up?

shirakumo: (spits out coffee)

—- made this a comic on tumblr

damn this post is longer than i expected

whelp, i hope you liked it

[plasticbullet]

BET YOU WON'T ANSWER THEM ALL

1: Full name

I've gotten creepy messages on here so I'm gonna keep that private lol

2: Age

27

3: 3 Fears

Abandonment, driving by semi-trucks, bugs

4: 3 things I love

Music, coffee, nature

5: 4 turn ons

Sense of humor, intelligence, height, big hands.. happy trails are sexy

6: 4 turn offs

If they're rude, judgy, closed-minded, or act fake

7: My best friend

Tammy

8: Sexual orientation

Straight

9: My best first date

I have no idea honestly. First dates are always weird

10: How tall am I

5′5″

11: What do I miss

Not having anxiety, traveling, when my boobs were bigger

12: What time was I born

11:30 pm

13: Favourite color

Yellow, green, blue

14: Do I have a crush

It’s more than a crush, but yes

15: Favourite quote

"This is cracking me out" - my kid

16: Favourite place

The forest, Havasupai, California

17: Favourite food

Just about anything Italian. Or with a lot of cheese

18: Do I use sarcasm

Pretty often

19: What am I listening to right now

Wind blowing through the window. It’s like 65 degrees here I love it

20: First thing I notice in a new person

If they seem nice or not

21: Shoe size

7 or 7.5 depending on the shoes

22: Eye color

Blue

23: Hair color

Reddish dark blonde

24: Favourite style of clothing

Grungy but hot

25: Ever done a prank call? Yes

27: Meaning behind my URL

I’ve answered this a couple times before, I’m too lazy

28: Favourite movie

Peanut Butter Falcon

29: Favourite song

All the ones that make me feel things the most

30: Favourite band

A Day to Remember, Brand New

31: How I feel right now

Relaxed

32: Someone I love

My son

33: My current relationship status

In something

34: My relationship with my parents

They’re cool

35: Favourite holiday

Christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing I have

Treble clef on the back of my neck, pierced ears

37: Tattoos and piercing I want

I’m good for now! Maybe more one day

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

I don’t even know, I’ve used this shit off and on since I was 16

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? Nope!

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? Yep

41: Have you ever kissed the last person you texted?

Nope

42: When did I last hold hands?

Held hands with my son today

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? Like 20 minutes

44: Have you shaved your legs in the past three days? Yes

45: Where am I right now? In my room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

Probably one of my friends lol

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

Loud unless I’m sleepyy

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? No

49: Am I excited for anything? 🎄🎄🎄

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

Yepp I think so

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

Sometimes if I don't want my kid to sense my stress. Or during boring conversations

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

Today

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

🤷🤷🤷

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

I don’t think so

55: What is something I disliked about today?

I was super sleepy, slept until some stressy dreams woke me up, and can't go back to sleep 🙃

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

That guy from My Octopus Teacher

57: What do I think about most?

People I love, things I have to do, and the randomest shit imaginable

58: What’s my strangest talent?

I barely have any normal talents

59: Do I have any strange phobias? No

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind it unless I feel cute

61: What was the last lie I told?

Something about Santa to my kid

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Depends!

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

I feel like ghosts are possible, our energy could keep existing in some ways after our body dies who knows. Aliens exist for sure. Just not anywhere near our planet imo

64: Do I believe in magic? No

65: Do I believe in luck? I believe in good karma

66: What’s the weather like right now?

Kinda chilly/breezy but nice

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

Read Fox in Socks to my kid

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? No

69: Do I have any nicknames? Kind of

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

One time a horse stepped on my foot and it was bruised for months lol

71: Do I spend money or save it? Both

72: Can I touch my nose with my tongue?

Noo! I just tried though hahah

73: Is there anything pink 10 feet from me?

A crayon

74: Favourite animal? Sloths but I love all animals

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

Sleeping surprisingly

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

I can't think of anyone I hate enough to make a good joke out of this

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

Colorado Symphony version of The Stable Song by Gregory Alan Isakov

78: How can you win my heart?

Good conversations, make me laugh, show me you care, show me good music, etc

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

Nice things, I don't know lol

80: What is my favorite word? Fuck

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

I ♥️ all the ones I follow

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

Realistically I would have a panic attack and say something stupid 😂

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Not that I know of!

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

Maybe the power to pause time so I could sleep or do whatever for however long I want without wasting any time. Or maybe the ability to teleport

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Idk I can't think of one

86: What is my current desktop picture?

It’s the default one, I don’t go on it very often lol

87: Had sex? Yes

88: Bought condoms? No the guys always did that

89: Gotten pregnant? Yes

90: Failed a class? No

91: Kissed a boy? Yes

92: Kissed a girl? Yes

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Yes

94: Had a job? Yes

95: Left the house without my wallet?

Yepp I used to forget it all the time

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

No I'm not a pussy ass bitch

97: Had sex in public?

If you count in a parked car, yes

98: Played on a sports team? Yes

99: Smoked weed? Yes

100: Did drugs? A while ago

101: Smoked cigarettes? Yes, quit a while ago

102: Drank alcohol? Yes

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

Nope! I tried one time just for fucks and it did not last long

104: Been overweight? No

105: Been underweight? Yes

106: Been to a wedding? Yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Yes

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

Yes. Marathons and binge sessions

109: Been outside my home country? Yes, Mexico

110: Gotten my heart broken? Yes

111: Been to a professional sports game? Yes

112: Broken a bone? Nope

113: Cut myself? Yes

114: Been to prom? Yes

115: Been in an airplane? Lots of times

116: Fly by helicopter? No

117: What concerts have I been to?

Oh fuck I know I’ll leave some out. Kelly Clarkson (don’t judge me I was 12), All Time Low, Avenged Sevenfold, Papa Roach, Blink-182, Fall Out Boy, Flogging Molly, Jason Mraz, Ed Sheeran, Atreyu, Escape the Fate, went to Warped Tour a couple times in high school so a bunch more emo bands

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? No

119: Learned another language?

A decent amount of Spanish

120: Wore make up? Frequently

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? Yes

122: Had oral sex? Yes

123: Dyed my hair? Yes

124: Voted in a presidential election? Yes

125: Rode in an ambulance? No those are expensive

126: Had a surgery?

Does getting my wisdom teeth removed count

127: Met someone famous?

Saw Alice Cooper at a Cheesecake Factory one time

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

Not stalked, more like checked up on lol

129: Peed outside? On camping trips

130: Been fishing? Yes

131: Helped with charity? Yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? Probably!

133: Broken a mirror? No

134: What do I want for my birthday?

Christmas is coming first idk

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

I have one kid whose name I won’t be posting publicly, annnd I’m open to having another kid sometime in the future but not set on it. No names in mind for that lol

136: Was I named after anyone?

My parents are Catholic so they named me after St. Kieran

137: Do I like my handwriting? It’s alright idk

138: What was my favourite toy as a child?

I liked my toy horses and barbies the most probably

139: Favourite TV Show?

Idk I have lots of favorites. I've probably rewatched The Office the most out of all of them tho

140: Where do I want to live when older?

Somewhere chill, surrounded by lots of nature. Arizona doesn’t have much of that lol

141: Play any musical instrument?

I can play the piano but it’s been a while

142: One of my scars, how did I get it?

One on my knee from a car accident

143: Favourite pizza topping?

I love onions on my pizzaaaa

144: Am I afraid of the dark?

No, unless I watched a scary movie or something

145: Am I afraid of heights? No

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

Got caught sneaking out when I was 15. Countless other things I can’t remember

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Yep!

148: What I’m really bad at

Doing things on time, paying attention when I’m not interested in something

149: What my greatest achievements are

Having an amazing kid, got first prize in the science fair in 6th grade for gluing a fucking key finder mechanism to the back of a shoe charm (shoe finder), was on time to something once

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

Idkkk

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery

Give a lot of it to some family, save a lot of it, get a new house, set aside a savings for my kid, buy a sloth or something

152: What do I like about myself

Fuck I don't know, I try my best hahah

153: My closest Tumblr friend

@spencerwithac

154: Something I fantasize about

Sex in public

155: Any question you’d like?

Nope this was plenty thank you

[deathdoors]

𝐇𝐄𝐘  𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐒  !  meredith  here.  nineteen twenty,  they/them  or  she/her,  the  best  admin  in  the  world.  it’s  why  i’m  using  manny  for  my  gif  for  this,  when  he’s  the  best  and  my  mascot  on  the  main  <3  if  it  ain’t  broke  don’t  fix  it.  so:  a  little  about  me  !  i’m  a  libra,  from  new  jersey,  in  my  second  year  of  college,  use  a  lot  of  emojis,  have  recently  and  embarrassingly  been  both  playing  fortnite    (    i  know    )    and  reading  like  2  books  a  night,  which  might  seem  like  it  makes  me  smart  but  actually  just  makes  me  go  to  bed  at  seven  in  the  morning.  which  also  makes  me  a  dumb  bitch.  on  to  the  show  !

name:  emma  phillips age:  thirty occupation:  preschool  teacher trope:  the  wide  eyed  idealist aesthetic:  fresh  baked  chocolate  chip  cookies,  wildflowers  in  a  vase,  half  empty  bottles  of  pink  wine,  stopping  to  pet  every  dog,  happy  tears,  rom-com  movie  nights,  coffee  with  too  much  cream  and  sugar.

emma  was  born  and  raised  in  the  suburbs  outside  springfield,  missouri.  her  mother  was  incredibly  anxious  and  doting,  disliking  emma  riding  bikes  in  the  streets  with  the  other  kids  and  climbing  trees,  etc  she  was  thus  much  closer  to  her  dad:  camping  trips,  bedtime  stories,  the  works.  she  adored  him,  and  when  her  twin  younger  siblings  were  born,  emma’s  mother  interpereted  being  a  daddy’s  girl  as  hating  her,  and  started  ignoring  emma  when  she  wasn’t  scolding  her,  instead  focusing  a  much  more  positive  attention  on  the  twins.  

then,  of  course,  because  life  sucks,  her  dad  got  sick  of  it  and  left  without  so  much  as  a  goodbye.  ran  off  with  his  secretary  when  emma  was  twelve,  leaving  her  with  a  toxic  mom  and  two  little  toddler  twins.  she  entered  mom  mode  when  her  mom’s  anxiety  turned  to  severe,  don’t  get  out  of  bed  depression  ...  emma  was  cooking  for  the  twins    (    and  failing  miserably,  most  of  the  time  it  was  pizza  and  frozen  dinners.  to  emma’s  credit,  that  did  include  frozen  vegetables.    )  helping  them  with  schoolwork,  getting  them  to  and  from  school,   etc.   

her  grandparents  were  semi - well  off,  and  sent  some  money  to  the  phillips  clan,  but  emma  got  a  job  as  soon  as  she  was  able.  the  combination  of  the  two,  and  her  mom’s  on  and  off  working  was  enough  to  not  go  hungry.  the  twins  could  go  on  some  field  trips,  there  was  enough  for  new  clothes  when  they  grew  like  weeds  ...  but  obviously,  no  pre-teen  /  teen  wants  to  constantly  care  for  little  kids.  it  sucked.  

the  money  continued  when  her  grandfather  died  when  she  was  sixteen,  and  then,  a  little  while  later,  right  before  emma  graduated  high  school,  her  grandmother  died,  leaving  them  her  house  in  fort  elms,  washington.  

the  phillips  clan  moved  there,  with  a  month  left  of  high  school  for  emma.  as  soon  as  she  turned  eighteen,  a  mere  month  after  graduation:  emma  was  kicked  out  of  the  house.  her  mother  wanted  nothing  to  do  with  her  anymore,  saying  emma was  tearing  her  away  from  the  twins.  for  the  rest  of  their  childhoods,  emma  was  not  allowed  to  see  either  of  her  siblings,  with  emma’s  mother  telling  them  that  she  had  left  on  purpose.

thus:  she  went  to  college,  moved  out  of  the  house  into  a  new  apartment, fell  in  love  and  pined  boyfriendless  for years  like  some  kind  of  loser,  was  incredibly  on  and  off,  got  cheated  on.  she  hasn’t  been  able  to  land  a  mans  since,  despite  wanting  a  storybook  romance.

while  all  that  was  happening,  she  got  a  degree,  teaching  at  the  fancy  private  preschool  school  in  town.  remember  when  i  said  she  entered  mom  mode  when  her  dad  left  ?  yeah.  she  never  left  it,  apparently.  she  loves  her  job,  though.  lots  of  stickers.

tl;dr:  toxic  mom,  dad  left  when  she  was  12,  effectively  raised  her  younger  siblings.  moved  to  fort  elms  when  she  was  about  to  turn  18,  finished  out  high  school,  and  was  kicked  out.  she  became  a  preschool  teacher,  inexplicably  staying  in  fort  elms.

     personality:  emma  is  kind  hearted  and  optimistic  —  she's  a  little  bit  of  a  people  pleaser,  and  a  lot  a  bit  of  a  hopeless  romantic.  she's  pretty  friendly  /  chatty,  and  considers  people  her  friends  approximately  .5  seconds  after  meeting  them.  she's  a  little  naive  in  the  sense  that  she  believes  everyone  is  good,  or  can  be  good  with  just  a  little  effort,  and  is  pretty  forgiving.  she's  much  more  of  a  go  with  the  group  kind  of  person,  and  hates  being  alone.

tw alcoholism, depression; 

name:  philippa  “pippa”  espina age:  twenty-two occupation:  unemployed trope:  fallen  princess aesthetic:  bottles  of  vodka,  half  burnt  cigarettes,  red  lipstick,  shattered  glass,  parties  going  late  into  the  night,  adept  fingers  rolling  joints,  sleeping  in  late,  the  twinkle  of  a  chandelier.

in  retrospect,  pippa  was  destined  to  be  spoiled:  she  never  got  attention  as  a  child,  and  her  parents  had  money,  and  anyone  who's  seen  a  movie  about  rich  kids  knows  that's  a  cocktail  for  disaster.  california  born  and  bred,  pippa  was  used  to  two  things  by  the  time  she  could  toddle:  the  sun,  and  getting  what  she  wanted.  

her  father  was  a  successful  ...  something  with  a  desk  and  lots  of  people  reporting  to  him,  she  never  even  payed  attention.  her  mother  was  more  focused  on  tennis  practices  and  galas  and  book  clubs  where  they  just  drank  wine.  a  series  of  nannies  raised  her:  not  one  or  two  where  she  could  bond  with,  cling  to  the  maternal  attention  she  desired.    

instead,  her  frequent  temper  tantrums  and  outbursts  lead  to  them  either  quitting  or  getting  fired  when  pippa  made  up  stories:  she  was  so  mean  to  me,  i  think  she's  stealing  from  the  jewelry  box,  she's  been  drinking  your  fancy  wine.  she  didn't  know  why  she  was  doing  it.  maybe  it  was  the  way  her  mother  would  stroke  her  hair  gently,  eyes  blurry  with  drunkeness  saying  they'd  work  on  finding  someone  better  to  take  care  of  her.  for  all  her  twisted  lies,  pippa  could  be  brutally  honest.  yet  she  never  asked  her  mother  why  she  couldn't  take  care  of  her.    

by  the  time  pippa  had  hit  the  sixth  grade,  she'd  been  kicked  out  of  two  of  the  private  schools  in  the  area.  her  third  was  all  all  girl's  school,  full  of  catholic  sensibilities  and  a  headmistress  that  refused  to  dismiss  pippa,  no  matter  how  much  she  acted  out.

she  was  twelve  the  first  time  she  was  the  one  breaking  into  the  liquor  cabinet,  little  sips  of  sweet  liquors  that  made  her  head  feel  fuzzy.  a  lock  was  placed  on  it  three  weeks  later,  and  she  didn't  get  drunk  again  until  high  school.  but  pippa  decided  she  liked  that  feeling,  and  more  importantly,  she  liked  the  feeling  of  her  parents  finally  looking  at  her.  

at  one  of  the  rare  family  meals  a  month  after  her  thirteenth  birthday,  pippa  said  i  don't  want  a  nanny  anymore  at  the  same  time  that  her  father  said  we're  moving  to  washington.  some  business  deal  her  father's  company  had  made  with  the  military  base,  it  was  a  wonderful  town.  she  didn't  want  to  hear  it.  another  tantrum  she  was  far  too  old  for,  a  slap  across  the  face.  selfish  brat.  

they  moved  to  washington  three  days  later.  she  didn’t  have  a  nanny.

pippa  was  never  popular  in  high  school,  nor  unpopular.  she  was  a  bit  of  an  outcast:  mean  and  pretty  only  got  you  so  far  if  you  were  already  top  dog,  and  she  wasn't.  she,  however,  threw  big  parties  that  drew  the  attention  of  high  schoolers  and  the  lamer  end  of  the  college  crowd.  holidays,  breaks,  every  weekend:  an  unlimited  supply  of  all  the  weed  and  alcohol  at  pippa's  house,  combined  with  the  loud  thunk  of  music  and  no  one  to  get  mad  at  you  if  you  broke  a  vase  or  woke  up  on  the  floor  the  next  morning.  her  parents  were  rarely  ever  home.

when  they  were,  however,  things  weren't  pretty.  slammed  glasses  on  tables,  shouts  so  loud  they  made  voices  sore.  pippa  would  stand  there  and  she  would  cry  until  her  face  was  red,  and  say  sorry  for  breaking  things,  and  the  next  day  her  parents  would  give  her  a  new  allowance  and  a  kiss  atop  the  head.  that  was  their  apology.  she  never  accepted  it.  she  kept  the  money  and  embraced  back,  of  course.  but  she  never  meant  it.  she  would  do  the  same  thing  again,  and  again,  and  again.  

attention  was  better  than  any  drug,  and  almost  as  good  as  the  bottom  end  of  a  bottle  or  a  shot  glass.  she  was  mean  and  she  was  catty,  sure,  but  then  she  was  warm  and  fun  and  bought  you  lunch.  by  the  time  she  had  made  stronger  connections,  latching  on  to  the  only  two  people,  the  only  two  friends  she  had  was  easy.  they  were  her  friends,  and  thus  everyone  else  was  her  enemy.  

after  high  school,  she  didn't  do  anything.  no  college,  no  job.  her  parties  persisted,  and  so  did  kisses  behind  locked  doors  and  afternoons  spent  sleeping  off  a  hangover  until  she  woke  up  and  did  it  again.  she  was  still  mean,  still  catty,  still  desperate  for  attention:  growth  had  been  stunted,  immaturity  and  a  desperation  making  her  miserable  to  be  around.  

she  doesn't  know  why  she  does  it.  not  even  deep  down:  sometimes,  it's  like  she's  staring  down  at  her  own  body,  watching  herself  be  cruel  or  unkind,  sparking  up  a  joint  to  call  someone  a  bitch  and  someone  a  cow,  or  taking  another  shot  and  whispering  into  the  nearest  fellow  partygoers'  ear  that  they  should  go  upstairs.  sometimes  she  wakes  up  and  feels  like  she's  the  worst  person  in  the  world.  especially  after  one  of  those  partygoers  is  the  ex  of  one  of  those  two  friends.  she  feels  like  the  worst  person  in  the  world,  and  she  likes  it  better  then,  she  decides.  at  least  then  she  feels  something.

tl;dr: rich bitch, loves partying, classic mean girl. not so functional alcoholic, hooks up with a lot of people. turbulent relationship with her parents, desperate for attention. definitely needs a therapist and a psychiatrist.

personality:  pippa  is  very  ...  sugar  and  ice.  or  more  aptly,  sugar  and  fire.  as  long  as  you  follow  her  my  way  or  the  highway  mentality  and  give  her  plenty  of  attention,  she'll  drag  you  along  on  all  her  plans,  lavish  you  with  attention  ...  until  she  doesn't  anymore.  she's  reckless  and  self-centered,  but  she's  a  hell  of  a  lot  of  fun.  if  you  manage  to  get  into  her  inner  circle,  she'd  take  a  bullet  for  you,  but  ...  well,  as  mentioned  before  she  still  might  sleep  with  your  ex  <3  or  ur  current  bf,  honestly.

tw bullying, anxiety, depression, suicide; 

name:  theodore  "teddy"  larsen age:  twenty-three occupation:  graduate  student trope:  shrinking  violet aesthetic:  pages  and  pages  of  notes,  shiny  comic  book  pages,  freshly  sharpened  pencils,  home  cooked  meals,  deep  shaky  breaths,  science  fiction  movies,  100%  exams,  thick  books  full  of  knowledge

theodore  larsen  came  out  of  the  womb  miserable.  he  was  a  colicky  baby,  born  to  a  loving,  young  american  mother  and  a  his  british  professor  father  in  england.  he  was  a  quiet  child,  once  he  grew  out  of  the  constant  exhausted  crying:  much  preferring  the  company  of  his  mom  than  other  kids.  he  was  smart  though,  and  a  heavy  reader.

when  he  spoke  was  when  the  trouble  began:  as  his  vocabulary  began  to  grow  and  he  talked  more  and  more,  a  stutter  came  with  it.  he  spoke  kindly  and  eloquently  for  his  age,  but  he  struggled  sometimes  to  get  words  out.  kids  were  cruel,  naturally,  and  it  only  made  teddy  more  reclusive.  

out  of  isolation  came  anxiety:  he  was  an  intensely  worried  child,  mostly  involved  with  his  parents  rather  than  people  his  age.  an  investment  in  books,  comics,  nonficiton,  novels.  teddy  was  perfectly  content  with  books  as  his  friends,  and  of  course,  his  mother,  his  favorite  person  in  the  world.

 and  then  his  world  came  crashing  down.  nothing  horrific:  no  one  died,  no  one  was  sick.  but  when  the  only  thing  that  brings  you  comfort  is  security  and  repetition,  your  father  cheating  on  your  mother  and  moving  across  the  world  is  a  pretty  far  crash  to  the  bottom.  port  elms,  washington:  his  mother’s  hometown,  where  teddy  would  finish  out  high  school.

he  was  relentlessly  bullied,  still.  the  label  of  new  kid  paired  with  a  lack  of  social  grace  and  nerdy  dispotion,  there  might  as  well  have  been  a  target  painted  on  his  back.  he  had  one  friend,  endlessly  kind  to  him.  she’d  saved  his  life,  figuratively,  and  he  saved  hers  literally,  an  appearance  at  her  house  shortly  after  her  suicide  attempt.

it  made  sense  that  he’d  have  one  too.  depression  was  a  dark  shroud  that  hung  over  him,  exacerbated  anxious  behaviors.  that  was  months  ago  now.  a  secret,  locked  inside  him,  not  quite  ready  to  come  out.  therapy,  once  a  week.  maybe  twice.

 he’s  not  excited  about  finishing  his  degree,  not  really.  he  feels  good  about  teaching,  it’s  what  he  wants  to  do.  but  the  idea  of  being  back  in  fort  elms  high  isn’t  exactly  leaving  a  good  taste  in  his  mouth.  he’ll  cross  that  bridge  when  he  comes  to  it,  no  matter  how  much  it  makes  his  heart  beat  faster  and  his  palms  sweat.  he’s  got  all  the  time  in  the  world

tl;dr: nervous mess, bullying target, has one real friend. very sensitive mama’s boy. british accent, moved to fort elms when he was in high school. sad. doesn’t like his dad very much. 

personality:  the  nerdiest  mf  alive.  teddy  is  a  total  sweetheart,  very  socially  awkward,  and  pretty  damn  smart.  he  know  a  lot  about  typical  nerdy  shit.  superheroes,  star  trek.  he  LOVES  star  wars.  he's  also  in  a  band,  playing  bass.  fun  times.  he's  nervous  as  hell  —  also  super  cautious,  he  never  likes  to  do  anything  without  it  being  meticulously  planned.  total  mamas  boy.

[miraclesnail]

1000 Ways and I Can Name One

Series summary: A thousand ways to tell the Stoll brothers apart and I can name you one. Travis and Connor centric oneshots featuring characters from PJO/HOO. Chapter 31: Miranda - Smiles

Work Summary: Bold. Brazen. Boisterous. Brash. That’s who Miranda is. She kinda has to be like that when bloodthirsty monsters lurk every corner, haunt her every waking thought, cause her to be somewhat of an okay killer by the age of 9. She also likes to think the monsters are the reason why her dad is scared of her, but she knows better. That part was sorta on her.(A 16k one-shot of how Miranda finds Camp Half Blood based entirely on my own wish fulfillment.)

AO3 Link

FFN Link

My thoughts: ... I realized now... I hate, hate, HATE, HATE editing long works. It’s so tiring. But it’s finished. It’s been almost 5 months but it’s finished :D The entire work is under the ‘keep reading’ but guys, it’s 16k long and Tumblr missed up the formatting. Please let me know what you think though!

Miranda — Words

Miranda’s earliest memory is when she was three and it was of her dad.

Of dad grinning with his genuine, crooked smile and a finger on his lips, shushing her as they wait for Clara to come home and fall for their prank. 

Of dad smiling and helping her spell her name, letter by letter. 

Of dad saying, “it means worthy of admiration,” as he ruffled her hair.

Of dad laughing and pointing at the T.V. as they watch Spongebob together. 

Of dad laughing as their homemade cookies had salt added to it rather than sugar. 

Of dad laughing as they played charade and she tried to imitate what an elephant sounds like. 

Of dad taking the little heart-shaped blocks she made with her powers and hanging them up next to her drawings.

Of dad telling her it’s okay to be a little different, that she’s smart, that she’s unique, that she’s so, so, so, so very talented. 

Of dad hugging her and telling her, “It’s okay. The house is safe. No scary monster will get in while I’m here. Just because you started seeing the monsters when the Gardner’s move into our neighborhood doesn't mean they’re haunted. That’s not a really nice thing to say, especially to our future friends.”

Her earliest memory is of her dad and it’s of him being happy. 

  Then when she was four she met Katie, the girl who moved into their neighborhood last year. Katie is a year older than her, but so much shyer and so easily frightened. 

The playground was where they first talked, Miranda remembered. 

Right by swings where Katie clung to the chains. Two girls were surrounding her, tugging on Katie’s ponytail and mocking her backpack and shoving her by the shoulders. 

Always do the right thing, her dad always says. Don’t ignore bullying . 

So she walked up to the bullies and hit one in the arm and kicked the other in the shin. They both ran away crying, screaming they will tell on her. 

Now that did worry her a bit even as Katie clung to her and proclaimed her undying loyalty and friendship. (Little, red flowers pop up at their feet.)

Will dad be mad? Will she be scolded? Did she do the wrong thing? But dad just laughed and said not to worry. She did the right thing. He’s proud of her. 

He’s proud of her!

“But, maybe, before going to fists, you should try using your words first, yes?” he said with a chuckle, ruffling her hair with a hand.

  When she was five, Mrs. Violet, their next-door neighbor, died. 

‘Mauled by a bear. Body in pieces. Chunks all over the floor. Not a quick death. How scary. How sad.’

The bigger words buzzed over her head as she tried to understand them with her limited vocabulary. She asked her dad to tell her what the words mean, but he just picked her up and held her close, saying not to listen. 

So she listened and didn’t listen anymore. 

“This isn’t your fault,” he whispered and that’s weird. She didn’t think it was her fault either. But does that mean it could be? Should she be thinking about what she did? But dad said it wasn’t so it couldn’t be.

  She was six when her father’s love started to crumble. 

Another neighbor died. This time, no bodies. Just blood splatters on the wall. She’s old enough to understand some of the whispers now. She’s old enough to see the furtive glares the adults sent her way as she and dad stood behind the yellow police tape at Mr. Dingleberry's house.

She held onto her dad’s hands, tugging on it until he looked away from the blaring sirens to her. 

“Is it my fault?” she asked.

Dad bent to his knees to be eye level with her and smiled, but it’s weird. Ingenuine. His eyes don't crinkle the way they always do when he’s really happy.

“It’s not your fault, Randi.” 

His words didn’t sound as strong as it did last year.

  She’s seven when Dad stopped being proud of her. 

Monsters existed. She understood that now. They’re real. She saw them with her own eyes with Katie. One-eyed monsters. Many-toothed monsters. Dog-like monsters. Fire-breathing monsters. Seal-like monsters. 

They’re real. 

And they’re dangerous

Dad said they couldn't come into the house. They’re safe as long as they’re indoors with the lights on and the doors locked. 

And she believed him. 

Well, when Miranda was seven a monster tried to eat her and Katie at a friend’s birthday party. 

It broke inside the house, snapping the door in its hand like it’s nothing. It snapped her friend’s dad’s, Mr. Lotte, neck like it was nothing too. 

His body hit the floor limp with his head at a weird angle. His vacant eyes stared at her. Miranda couldn’t remember much of what she saw after that. Her tears blurred everything to just unrecognizable shapes, unreliable distances, and untruthful reality. 

But she recalled everything she heard with crystal clarity. Char’s high-pitched scream, Mrs. Lotte’s choked inhale, a chair falling, the ground rumbling, a man’s voice — one she doesn’t know — chuckling, “Yeah, they’re demigods alright.”

Mrs. Lotte ushered Katie and Char to her, stepping between them and the monster. She’s holding a kitchen knife. She’s pressing a phone into her hands. She’s talking to them — her — “Miranda, you’re the only one calm enough. Call 911. Take Katie and Char with you. And run . I’ll be right behind you.”

Run. I’ll be right behind you.

Miranda thinks this was probably the last time she trusted an adult.

But Miranda did run, dialing 911 and taking Char’s hand in hers as Katie ran beside her. Char resisted, clawing and digging her nails into her wrist. 

“We can’t leave my mommy and daddy! Let me go. Let me go right now!” 

“She’ll be right behind us,” Miranda remembered saying as she stared straight ahead, desperately looking for the exit, with the phone pressed to her ear. 

‘She’ll be right behind us.’ 

You didn’t even check to see if Mrs. Lotte was following us. 

Right when Miranda spotted the backdoor,  Char jabbed her elbow into her stomach. 

“Stop fighting!” Miranda yelled, struggling harder to hold onto Char, to hold onto the phone still connecting to the emergency services, and to open the backdoor with her elbow. 

It opened easily enough. But that was because she didn't open it. 

A monster did. 

Katie screamed for her to get back a second too late as the monster grabbed her by the wrist holding the phone. Miranda pushed Char away, scrambling to grab anything to hit the monster with. A table. A lamp. Katie’s outreached hand. But the monster lifted her into the air, squeezing and squeezing and squeezing until Miranda felt something snapped. 

The rumbling beneath her became unignorable, shaking harder and harder. Deep below, she heard just the barest of pipes breaking. The framed photos on the wall fell and shattered. The polished hardwood creaked and splintered.

Katie cried for her to be let go as she hit the monster’s legs with her tiny fists. The rumbling grew louder and louder. The hand lets go of her and Miranda dropped into a puddle of sewer water. 

The monster — later she would know was a cyclops — struggled in a binding of wood, screeching and spewing words of hate as the wood constricted all together and crushed its organs. Katie gasping is what made Miranda looked up. Katie was … horrified, stepping back and shaking her head in disbelief. She’s mumbling apologies, trembling all over. 

Looking back, she wasted those few seconds staring at Katie. It could have been used better. She could have done better.

Char ran back to her mother as soon as she was free. 

Miranda didn’t hear a scream. Maybe Char died quickly then. 

“What… what is this?”

Miranda’s head shot towards the voice. The first monster, the one that snapped Mr. Lotte’s neck, stood by the doorway with a knife stained in blood. 

She can see the growing fury in that single eye as it stomped towards them, screeching, “ What did you do?!”

Katie squealed, backpedaling and raising a hand. “G-Go away!”

The same wood sprouted from the ground and wrapped around the monster’s chest, neck, arms, and legs. 

Miranda waited. For the same thing to happen. For the monster to meet the same fate as it’s brethren. For the wood to tighten and crush the monster. But that didn’t happen.

Miranda glanced at Katie, who’s hesitating, who’s hand is quivering, who’s pleading for the monster to stop fighting and give up, who’s crying, who’s begging even harder for the monster to not make her kill him too, who’s face hardened in resignation at what must be done.

She remembered thinking… she hated seeing that face on that normally kind face. 

The tears dried as Miranda walked to the monster, ignored Katie’s cry for her to step back, touched the wood, hesitated for a second, — but remembering Katie’s stricken face made the decision easy — closed her eyes, and focused. 

Her dad and Katie’s came to pick them up five minutes after the deed was done.

The police came fifteen minutes later. 

Miranda stared at the house speared through the middle by a pine tree and at the monster (“A serial killer,” a passing policeman said) she speared through the chest carried out in a bag. 

She didn’t want to ask but asked anyway, “Is this my fault?” Could I have done more? Could I have saved them?

Her dad didn’t answer.

He just watched the bodies of her friend’s parents be carried outside in the bags. 

Miranda wanted to ask again, but when her dad started weeping she didn’t. 

Maybe if she hadn’t cried… maybe if she hadn’t listened to Mrs. Lotte… maybe if she had just fought first… 

Then Katie wouldn't have feared her powers and a family wouldn’t be gone.

  She’s eight when her father stops smiling at her.

Ever since that day, they saw a lot more monsters. Katie still couldn’t control her powers all too well, frequently popping up pine trees while she slept. But Miranda didn’t mind. She could practice her powers a lot more freely now, no longer bound by the small blocks her father would buy for her. No, the trees Katie made were humongous and full of wood she could manipulate once she scraped away the bark. 

Into a sword. Into a spear. Into a hook. Into a bat. Into a shield. Into a bracelet. Into a cuff-style bracelet. Into a spiral-style bracelet. Into a Wonder Woman-style bracelet. Ohhh! She likes that. 

Katie watched her do it all with a pout, legs swinging from the bench Miranda made. “I want your control, Randi.” 

Miranda smiled and leaned against Katie’s arm, fingers tapping on the book in her lap. “I can’t do any of this without you. You can grow anything. My powers only work if I have wood.”

“What’s the point of power if you don’t have control?” Katie scowled. 

“And what’s the point of control without power?” Miranda shrugged. “Even with all the control in the world, what does it matter if I can’t — he’s coming.”

Miranda flattened the bench into a board, muttering a quick sorry when Katie squeaked, before the backdoor slammed open. Katie caught on though and grass grew over the board, effectively hiding their activities for the past hour. 

Miranda steeled her heart as she watched her dad run to them. Come on, Randi. You've done this a dozen times now. 

She condensed the wood she was toying with earlier into the smallest size she could and shoved it inside her pocket. 

“Miranda, what were you doing?” dad said, eyes narrowed in suspicion. 

And with practiced ease, Miranda smiled and held the plant encyclopedia up. “Trying to find flowers again. Why?”

And just like the dozen of times she done this, it didn't fool her dad. “Don’t lie to me. You were using your powers again, weren’t you? How many times do I have to tell you? Don’t play with your powers!” dad scolded, scowling. 

Miranda stomped down the shame and raised her chin. “ We weren’t using our powers.” Technically not a lie. Katie wasn’t.

Dad stared at her for a second more, sighing and ruffling her hair. “Look, Miranda, I need you to understand it’s dangerous to use them so freely. Stop it already.” 

Miranda watched him head back to the house, making sure he’s inside before pulling the wood out and practicing the speed at which she can change the bracelet into a spear. 

  She’s nine when her father stops looking her in the eye.

The monsters were becoming bolder and bolder. Before a single pebble slingshotted inches from the monster’s neck was enough to scare them off. But now it took snaring them in bear traps and pitfalls to make them go away.

Another thing she learned was that some monsters could teleport. (Which, if you ask her, is highly, highly unfair. She wanted teleportation powers too.)

Did it worry her? Yeah, a little bit. But she couldn't let Katie know that. 

Miranda had a theory about the monsters and why they started showing up the day Katie moved into their neighborhood. Katie’s powers were probably acting like a blow horn, drawing every monster to her. 

But was she ever going to tell Katie this unproven theory of hers? No. Never. Katie wasn’t doing this on purpose and besides who knows what the guilt would make Katie’s already unstable powers do?

So her solution for now was just to covertly train Katie how to control her powers. 

But she should have realized, if the monsters were drawn to Katie’s powers, then there’s no reason for them not to be drawn to hers too if she flexed them enough.  

Like now. 

As they’re eating dinner. 

A dog, the size of a school bus, burst through the kitchen window and took part of the wall with it. 

Glass shards scattered all over the floor. The dog (no, too big to be a dog. Wolf? No, wolves don’t break into homes like this) shook the glass off its coat, unscathed. 

It stared at her and she at it.

Something buzzed in her blood. Maybe fear. Maybe confidence. Maybe the gummy bear she found wedged in the couch and still ate like a dummy. Whatever it is, she didn’t hesitate turning the wood bracelet encasing her wrist into a spear. 

It’s hard not to think back to two years ago. To the parents who fought the monsters in her place and died for it. To three years, four years ago, those neighbors that died because of them. Not this time. This time she’ll take the monster down before anyone could die. 

She took a step towards the monster, but her father snapped at her to run away.

“I’ll handle this,” he growled, pulling the shotgun hanging on the wall down.  

Miranda didn’t argue, but she didn’t run away either. 

She desperately wanted to believe her dad got this. She desperately wanted to believe her dad will be okay. She desperately wanted to believe her all-knowing dad will be right again. But — torn to pieces, someone was screaming, not a quick death, I’ll be right behind you , all her fault — adults were liars. Adults weren’t reliable.

But he's your dad. Don’t you trust him? 

“Miranda, get out of here now!” 

Dad fired the gun. The monster leaped forward, high into the air. A single paw knocked the gun right out of his hands and onto the ground. One stomp of the same paw and the gun was in pieces. 

It felt too cliche to say her heart froze. More like it fell in realization. Adults really couldn’t be trusted. 

“Dad,” she said, inching forward as tears started to well but she rubbed the heel of her hands into the sockets. Don’t cry. Don’t ever cry again. 

“Miranda, stay back!” 

Only she can do something. 

“Call 911.”

Do something, Miranda. 

“Run!”

If you don’t… if you don’t, do something

“Hide!”

Then your dad is going to die. 

And that will be your fault. 

“Miranda, listen to me and run!”

Come on. 

Her eyes cleared. 

Do something. 

The tears dried. 

Do something. 

She could see everything clearly. The monster leering over her dad. The open maw, seconds away from snapping over her dad’s head. The gleam of its teeth. The size of the monster. The red of its eyes, bright and gleaming. 

Focus.  

Aim. 

Breathe.

Throw.

It pierced true through the eye. 

The monster’s shrieked, a sound she’ll never forget. It made her hesitate, but then she remembered the scream of a father crushed to death, a mother’s scream of rage as she gave up her life to protect them, her friend’s scream of grief over her parents, and Katie’s scream of terror, of concern when that monster broke her tiny wrist all those years ago. 

There was no sympathy as she shifted the bracelet on her other wrist into a spear and threw again, piercing through the open maw to the back of the throat. The monster screeched and thrashed, disappearing back out into the night from the hole it made.

Miranda stared out into the darkness (it teleported… so unfair.) before turning to her dad, happy that he’s okay, happy that the monster is gone, happy that no one got hurt, happy that she’s strong enough to fight off the monsters. 

But the way dad looked at her, scrambling back rather than embracing her, face’s frightened rather than relieved. 

She thinks this is the moment that the slow crumbling became a fast disintegration. 

  She’s ten when her dad stopped caring.

He stopped asking her to not use her power, giving her free reign to do whatever she wants. 

Miranda handled most of the monsters that come their way now with Katie by her side to grow more trees. 

Some of the monsters have really tough skin. Some of them have powers like her. All of them are really smart. The few minutes the monsters had before she killed them were spent cursing her in the English and Greek language. Really creative stuff, if you asked her. 

The monsters were clearly smart enough to talk and know what their mistakes were. Unfortunately, they’re not smart enough to take her seriously. She wondered if she would be dead by now if the monsters stopped seeing a little girl. 

“Miranda, you need to stop with the monster hunting,” Auntie Ceres begged of her, wiping the blood — not her blood, never her blood — from her cheeks with a hand towel. “What happens if you get hurt?”

“I’m way too strong for that,” Miranda said with a victory sign and a bright smile, “But on the off chance I do get hurt, as long as you and dad and Katie don’t, then I’m fine with that.” 

It always made Ceres cry whenever she said that. 

“Brian, make her stop! She’s your daughter for Pete’s sake!”  Ceres would turn to her dad and Miranda wanted to tell Auntie that dad won’t do anything, haven’t done anything for months now. But she lets Auntie say it in the end, wondering if this time it would be different. 

As always, dad just looked away. 

  She’s eleven when her dad gave up.

“I don’t want to stay with Clara for the weekend,” she begged, voice high-pitched but no tears leaking. The tears never came since that day when she was 9. “Please don’t make me.”

But her dad just simply packed her belongings to go to her ex-stepmom without ever looking at her. 

“I have joint custody, Miranda. There’s nothing I can do.” 

“You didn’t even fight in the courts!” she wailed, for the first time in a long time feeling despair, “You just give her whatever she wants! She doesn’t care about me! All she cares about is the child support you’ll give her. We both know she’ll abuse it. Please, dad. Don’t make me go.”

And again, again, again, again, just like he has been doing for months now , dad just turned his back on her. 

  Then when she was twelve, she ran away. 

The day when Katie was supposed to come back from camp whatchamacallit, she got out of Clara’s home and took the bus to the Gardner’s house. 

She can’t wait for Katie to tell her everything about the camp! The lava wall, the pegasi, the crafting building. Oh god the crafting building! 

She saw the car sitting in the driveway and the excitement increased tenfold. Katie was back! Grinning with evil thoughts, Miranda climbed up the tree that’s beside Katie’s window. She shimmied the always unlocked window open and rolled inside, intending to scare her friend. But Katie isn’t in her room. Maybe she’s downstairs still. 

With care, Miranda tiptoed her way down, still intent on scaring Katie but the only voices she heard were Mr. Gardner, soon to be her step-dad, and her dad’s but no Katie’s. 

Is she not back yet?

Miranda thrummed with excitement. She could go with them to pick Katie up then! 

With just as quiet footsteps, she went to where her dad is talking with Mr. Gardner. If she couldn't scare Katie, then she would just scare dad and his fiance. 

But her dad’s voice, more labored than she had ever heard before, spoke.

“I don’t know what to do. Every second I’m with Miranda, I feel like I’m going crazy. ”

She froze in the shadow, socks peeking just centimeters from the doorway. 

He’s probably talking about another Miranda, she reasoned. There’s lots of people with her name. 

“She’s battle-crazy. She has unnatural strength. She doesn’t show sympathy for what she does whenever she kills those animals. She doesn’t even cry! What child doesn’t cry?”

A coworker. He got to be talking about a coworker. Not her. It can’t be about her. 

He can’t be talking about her. 

Dad knows why she doesn’t cry. Dad knows she can cry.

She just can’t cry as much as she wanted, because crying blurred her vision. She can’t see what’s coming if there’s tears in her eyes. She can’t defend Katie if there’s tears in her eyes. She can’t protect anyone if there’s tears in her eyes. 

Dad knows this. 

… Right? 

She told him, didn’t she? 

“It’s like she’s a sociopath! If I didn’t know the Greek Gods existed, I would have thought the devil possessed my little girl. Wait, if Greek Gods are real then the Christian God must be real too right? Oh lord, what if a devil is possessing Miranda?”

Sociopath.

Devil.

“Maybe you can send her to camp with Katie? They’re bound to have experience with this.”

Mr. Gardner didn’t defend her. Does he think she’s a devil too? A monster? Does Katie think so too? Does Ceres? 

“I’m thinking about that. But Jesus Christ, she doesn’t want to leave my side ever. She made such a big fuss even when she had to go to Ceres’s.”

But she had a reason. That was before Katie left to rein her powers in, back when the monsters would come everyday. Katie can’t fight. Katie can’t protect Mr. Gardner and her dad. And Katie doesn’t know the monsters are drawn to them because her powers flickered uncontrollably. 

She had a reason. 

“You already said the camp was understaffed and underpaid. I can’t give someone like Miranda to them.”

Someone like her… 

She wondered if this is how it feels to drown. 

“She scares me. I’m scared of my own daughter.”

She wondered if the shattering she hears is her heart breaking. 

Even still, her eyes remained dry. 

Maybe her dad is right. Maybe she is a monster.

Miranda took a breath — it’s shaky. Come on, Miranda. Keep it together —  and stepped around the corner, coughing once as she stared at her socked feet, not daring to look up at their faces. She heard two gasps. Dad’s voice is frantic as he said, “Miranda! W-what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be at your mother’s!”

She doesn’t bother to answer. 

“If I change, will you love me again?” she asked. 

“Wh-what? Miranda, sweetheart, look. Whatever you heard was, um. It wasn’t about you. It was my co-worker at… at… uh… my… volunte — look, this wasn’t about you!”

“If I change, will you love me again?” she asks again, throat clogging but the tears that dad so adamantly thinks makes her human refuse to come. 

“Miranda, I— you— of course, I love you. How about we just talk about what you heard just now and —”

They’re not answering her, but she’s smart enough, observant enough, seen enough over the years to know that was a lie. 

It all started that night she killed the hellhound. 

She scares me.

She squeezed her eyes shut, willed the tears to come, but nothing.

Sociopath, devil.

Her father’s face, scared and terrified, — of her — kept popping up. 

Someone like her.

Miranda turned around and ran. Voices yelled after her but she didn't listen. Didn’t stop. Didn’t look back. And just ran.

  She’s twelve when she runs away from home. 

And she’s twelve plus a couple weeks older when she meets Lee. 

  Miranda (12) - Travis (13) - Connor (12) 

April

Pre The Sea of Monsters

“So.”

“So.”

“This is it?”

“This is it.”

Miranda stares at the old overarching sign, rickety and swaying in the wind, possibly seconds from toppling over. 

Camp Half Blood. 

She doesn’t know what she expected, but underpaid and underfunded definitely seems to fit the bill. Even so… 

“Just so you know if anything sounds sketchy or cult-like, I’m out of here,” she warns. 

But Lee just gives a blinding smile and says, “You’ll love the place. Come on, I’ll show you around.” 

Miranda walks up the hill after Lee, up to where that humongous pine tree is. He’s still talking in that peppy tone of his, relaxed and unguarded. It sounds genuine nut she’s careful to keep him in her sight at all times. Maybe three-fourths of the way up, she hears screaming and she thinks the worse — torture camp, slave camp, Aeron, army, battalion, crazy cult people.

It makes her stop and shifts her bracelet into a sword, backing away. 

But then another person screams and after a second listen, she realizes they don’t sound fearful. If anything they sound — 

“I got it! I got it! I GOT IT! Ack!”

“Travis, you idiot! I’m over here!”

“AH! Lee, look out! The volleyball—”

A volleyball is hurtling towards them at remarkable speed, towards Blondie who has his back turned, towards Blondie who’s facing her because she had to pull her sword out. He’s not going to turn around in time to dodge. So Miranda takes a running leap and whacks the ball back to the volleyball court at the base of the hill. 

It, unfortunately, hits a boy right on the face and now there is new, different, not as benevolent screaming as the boy hunches over with others gathering around him.

Miranda winces as she drops back to her two feet, shifting the sword back into a bracelet behind her back.

Whoops. 

  “No. She didn’t. She couldn’t have.”

“Yes! She did!”

Miranda laughs — it feels so strange to laugh genuinely — and leans back on the infirmary chair. “Katie really did that?” 

“Yeah, except she just barely grazed my shoulder with her suitcase,” the boy, (“I’m Travis,” he had introduced with a crooked grin as he bleeds on the volleyball courts), says with his head high. His identical twin, Connor, (“they’re not twins FYI,” Malcolms says) readjusts the bag of ice cubes over his brother’s nose. 

Connor thwacks Travis’s on the forehead with a newspaper. “I didn’t need you to protect me then. I could have taken that suitcase.”

“Everytime someone new comes in, we get hurt,” Travis continues to say, “This is all too big of a coincidence. First, Will with his ear-piercing whistle that nearly made me deaf. Then Katie with her suitcase. Malcolm and his backpack. And now Miranda with a volleyball. Maybe we’re bad luck. This never happens when Luke was the uh… This never happens with anyone else,” Travis stammers towards the end, eyes darting to her and Malcolm then to Connor. Miranda piques at that. Luke? Luke sounds familiar. 

Connor snorts, but eyes fond. “You’re the bad luck. I haven’t gotten hurt yet.” 

“Maybe it is a curse,” Malcolm, a small guy with round glasses sitting next to her, says. He pushes his glasses up to the bridge of his nose. “We should have Chiron check it out.”

A curse. 

Maybe Chiron can check her out and see if there’s any curses on her too. 

Connor readjusts the ice pack and Travis squeaks, pushing Connor’s hand away to hold the pack himself. 

Guilt coils in Miranda’s stomach when Travis grumbles lowly, you’re pressing too hard . 

“I really am sorry,” she apologizes again for maybe the fiftieth time 

“It’s fine,” Travis says with a thumbs up.

“It was an accident,” Connor follows. 

“Still…” Miranda mumbles, tinkling with her bracelet.

Travis’s eyes crinkle the way her dad’s used to back when he smiled all the time at her. “Don’t worry. Don’t worry. I had worse.”

“It’s true,” Connor says with the same smile Travis has, though the worry on his face seems to say something different. Or maybe that’s just how Connor looks 24/7. A perpetually worried brother. Kinda like Katie. She misses Katie. “Annabeth broke his arm once during judo practice.” 

“That definitely hurt a lot more than a broken nose. On the plus side Annabeth felt so guilty, she did all my chores for me for a full month. So chin up. You’re not the worst thing to ever happen.” Travis laughs. 

Miranda’s heart aches. Not the worst thing to them maybe. But to her dad…  

It must have shown on her face because Travis says softly, “Hey. Seriously. This is nothing.”

She nods but makes a mental note to herself. Get a better poker face.

The door to the infirmary opens and a new boy, no older than 12 at most, comes racing in. He looks like Lee’s little brother with his blond hair and blue eyes and sun-kissed skin.  

“I found the hymn for bloody noses! Travis, hold still.”

“NO! Wait, wait, wait, Will. I don’t want to—”

Will didn’t listen, going ahead to move the ice bag into Connor’s waiting hands. Placing his hands on the bridge of Travis’s nose, Will closes his eyes and chants. 

Miranda watches, mesmerized, at the way Will’s hands glow a soft gold, the way no one is bothered or excited at this display of power, and the way Will so very calmly just let his power be known in front of a complete stranger. (But you kinda did the same in that cult and lo and behold, look what happened.)

Travis squeals and pushes Will’s hand away, but it seems Will’s trick done its job. The nose is no longer bleeding, though Travis doesn’t seem any better with the tears pricking his eyes.

“That stung!”

Will’s face droops and Miranda swears that expression rivals that of a sad puppy. “Oh. I'm sorry. Maybe I mispronounced a word ...”

“Will, I’m done being your test subject,” Travis whines, wincing and rubbing his nose, “If you’re going to practice your powers, do it on Lee or Karen. They’ll both be happy to help.” 

Will offers an apologetic shrug. “They don’t get hurt nearly enough for me to practice. You, on the other hand, get hurt every other day. Plus, you’re right here and Karen is in California.”

“The curse,” Malcolm mutters under his breath. 

Travis pouts, turning to his brother and nudging him in the ribs. “Defend me, Connor.”

And in a show of utmost support, Connor smirks and slings an arm over Will’s shoulder. “Hey, if it heals you then I’m not complaining. Oh, I know! Think of it as an incentive to stop getting hurt.”

“It’s not like I’m doing it on purpose! Quick, someone Iris-Message Annabeth and have her defend me.”

Connor tosses the ice bag into the restroom on the other side of the room with pinpoint accuracy, the bag landing in the sink. He checks Travis’s nose before clasping his hands together and smiling. “Now that Travis is all good, it’s time for the tour. Welcome to Camp Half Blood, Miranda! Or as what I like to call it around these parts, the Gods’ dumping grounds. And you, Miranda Gardiner, are a demigod.”

  Travis and Connor lead her around the camp and give her a tour.   

The amazing lava-sprouting rock wall she read about months ago. She’s part god. The cool pegasi and their stalls. She’s a god’s child. The magical, food-popping pavilion. A child that was dumped on her father’s doorsteps . The infirmary. A cursed child. The cabins. Her real mother abandoned her. Cabin 11 which she will be staying in. Nobody loves her. Her new bed. She misses Katie. Her nightstand. She misses her dad. Her chest box. 

What’s the point of life with her dad hating her?

“Miranda!” 

“Yes?!” she exclaims, just stopping herself in time from colliding her head with (Travis, Connor?).

One of the brothers is staring at her with worry. The other is also staring at her with worry. She wishes her dad would stare at her like that too. 

She forces the smile and asks again, “Yes?”

“You’re doing okay?” one asks. 

And Miranda flashes a grin. “Never better. So what’s next?”

The one who asks her frowns a little but breaks eye contact with her to nod his head at the bed. “This will be your bed. Our policy for beds is first come, first serve.”

“Before, the policy was ‘oldest and wisest get the bed’” the other brother snorts, “We would have to sleep on the floor whenever the summer people came. It was so unfair. Anyway this bed is yours. And this chest box is yours too. It has a lock.” 

“But the lock doesn’t really work,” says the other with a shrug. “Don’t keep anything valuable in there.” 

“No problem,” Miranda says as she slinks on top of the bare mattress, sighing as she sinks into the springs. This is a thousand times better than the hard benches of New York City. “I don’t have anything valuable with me.” 

“You don’t have anything?” her counselor asks with a frown.

“Nope!” she answers, looking at the bed frame above hers. She wonders if it’s made of wood. She wonders if she can manipulate this.

“Not even a backpack?” says the other.

“Nah-dah. When I ran away, I took nothing. I just hitched onto a train and rode it wherever it took me.” 

Travis and Connor share a look before they go to the cabin’s closet and take out a couple clothes and a comforter, holding it out for her. She stares at the offering between them and up at their honest faces. 

It’s just like Lee said, huh?

Free food. Free clothes. Free bed. And all she has to do is just go to the classes Chiron holds and do a few chores. It sounds too good to be true. 

It is too good to be true. 

She guesses it’s time to put a stop to this grand fairy tale before she gets too attached. 

“What’s the catch?” she says, smiling and standing back up. 

“The what?” 

“The catch. The price. What do you want from me?” she bites out, a hand sliding to hold a bracelet with the tips of her fingers. 

“We don’t want anything from—”

“I know what’s going on,” she says. “You’re fighting against somebody, right? And in return for all these commodities, you want me to fight them for you. Well, I’m telling you right off the bat I don’t want to fight. Nah-dah. Zilch. Will not do. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200. So if you want to kick me out, go ahead.”

“Oh that.” Like this is a joking manner, they both kind of chuckle. “We only want willing people to fight. It’s bad for morale to force people to fight. And we have Annabeth and Clarisse. Combined they’re like an army.”

“So don’t worry about the fighting! It should be over before you even knew it.”

Miranda’s eyes narrow, but she doesn’t sense any ill will from them. The brothers offer the bedding and clothes again and she takes them into her own hands.

“Okay, I’ll hold you to it,” she says, not really believing them. 

They’re going to lie to her just like dad and Mia did.

  After selecting a couple towels and socks and tucking them into the chest box, Travis and Connor introduce her to the other residents. 

Malcolm, a taciturn bookworm who is giving off major ‘I am a genius at everything’ vibe.

Clarisse, totally a future gym buddy once Miranda breaks past her grumpy exterior. 

Will, camp’s rising healer with the biggest heart and possibly the sweetest personality who doesn’t take shit from anybody and oh my god why is he a yearrounder? What parent could turn this child away?

Silena, a nice, sweet girl who she will undoubtedly become friends with because of the connection this girl has with the pegasi stalls but there’s something about her… something wrong about her…  

Beckendorf, a kind, genius mechanic that seems to have some kind of feud going on with the Stolls if the glare is anything to judge by.

Lee, an instrument enthusiast.

Chiron, the otherworldly supervisor.

And Mr. D. An actual god.

He doesn’t seem like a god, but what does she know? 

  The daily routine is like this: wake up at 6, eat breakfast at 7, school lessons at 8, recess at 10, lessons again at 11, lunch at 12, then training at 2. 

She’s fine with archery. She’s fine with hitting dummies. She’s fine with even just running mindlessly for an hour. What she won’t do is fight against a person. 

She refuses to. 

Fighting a living being… having to anticipate movements… having to make active decisions… there’s no guarantee she won’t use her powers out of reflex. She knows she has great control but in the heat of battle, her reflexes, her instincts, her want to win the competition, Miranda scares she’ll reveal her powers by mistake. 

And besides, it’s her powers that made dad scared of her, it’s her powers that drew that freaky cult to her. It’s her powers that ruined every good thing she has in life. She can’t let it ruin this too. 

Chiron obliged, stating that he will respect her wishes and nearly everyone is okay with her decisions except for Clarisse. But Clarisse always picks a fight with everybody so Miranda doesn’t let it bother her. Travis says not to let it get to her. Someone dear to Clarisse left and the daughter of Ares has never been great at coping.

  With the comfort that her needs will be met and a lessen need to stay vigilant, it seems like the nightmares come back with a vengeance.

Of dad tossing her outside, face cold and empty as he orders her to leave and never come back. Of dad laughing in her face as she begs for him to take her back ( “I’ll change! I promise, I’ll change!”)

Of Katie turning her back on her. Of Katie looking at her with disgust. Of Katie looking at her with fear. Of Katie wrapping her in her vines and choking the life out of her, face giddily with relief as —

Good thing she always wakes up before it goes too far. 

Miranda wakes up and lays there in the soft warmth and cushion of her new bed, listening to the crickets and the tic tic of the clock and someone’s soft snoring and someone’s restless turning and tossing. 

Guess she isn’t the only one having a bad dream. 

Miranda turns to the side to find either Travis or Connor, one of them, whimpers and whines in the dark. Just as she wonders about waking him up, they did it by themselves. 

She listens to his ragged gasps, watches him move his blanket away and climbs the stairs, listens to him asking his brother if he could sleep in his bed, and hears a body shuffling to the side to make room. 

She smiles bitterly into her pillow. Dad used to let her snuggle in bed with him after a nightmare too despite Clara’s protest she’s getting too old for that. 

It all stopped though the day Char’s parents died. 

  She’s never alone. There’s always someone with her. Mostly Travis and Connor, but sometimes they’re busy and Will would be her companion for an hour or two. 

She doesn’t mind. Will can be surprisingly fun to listen to as he talks about the hymnals and his aspirations and what he’s working on learning today. It’s just that there are only so many things to do at Camp and without fail, consistently actually, the brothers leave her at Will’s hands at 4 pm. 

She tries not to let it bother her, especially since she declared she wants nothing to do with the fights, but, man… she really needs to get a better poker face because the 7th time the brothers pass her on to Will, Will says, “Do you want to see what they’re doing?” 

She scrutinizes his honest, good-natured face, finds no lies, and nods. 

Will leads her to the forest, signaling for her to hide behind a tree and to be silent. 

“They’re training,” Will whispers as they crouch behind the tree.

Miranda watches the brothers fall into a fighting stance in a clearing that seems well-used if the wide patch of dirt is anything to go by. They fight first with a sword, then a sword and a shield, then a knife, a spear, nunchucks, bare-handed. 

She still can’t tell them apart yet without help but there’s always one clear winner judging by the dirt stains. 

“Good match. Good match. But Travis I think you’re still having trouble actually striking, you know, the only way you can win for sure. Running and dodging only prolongs the battle,” Connor says as with a knee grinding between Travis’s shoulder blades and arms pulled back by the wrist. 

Travis huffs with his cheek pressed to the dirt, trying to throw Connor off and failing. “I’m trying .”

“You always hesitate,” Connor lectures, “The enemy won’t hesitate.”

“I know . I’m not stupid ,” Travis whines, hips buckling but Connor remains unphased as ever. “It’s just… just…arghhh, get off! I get it. You won again.”

“Just what?” Connor asks, getting off Travis and helping him stand. 

Travis stands with a red face, patting his dirt-stained camp shirt. “It’s just…you know what happened with Mrs. Elliot that one time. I’m scared of going too far again. One time was enough. One time was way too much. I can never look at milk again without being reminded of that incident.”

“Oh.” Connor frowns, rolling his shoulders. “Do you want me to stop eating cereal then?”

The way Travis smirks… crooked and mischievous and so obviously done to move the subject forward… Dad used to do that all the time back when she doubted the righteousness of her powers. “Nah. I know how much you love your cereal. You’ll probably go through withdrawal without your daily gallon of milk and honey nut cheerios.”

Connor pouts and nudges Travis in the arm. “You should talk. You eat your weight in strawberries every morning, you ass.” 

Their conversation devolves into ribs and jabs at each other's diets. It sounds like they both need a nutritionist to set their diet straight. Watching them bickers though… it makes her yearn for her dad again and she can’t be having that. 

“Come on, Will,” she says, backstepping. “Let’s go.”

Just before she turns around she sees Connor’s face softening, voice becoming far more gentler. “Don’t worry about going too far. Let me do all the fighting and you just watch my back.” 

  On day 14, the conversation finally happened. She’s surprised it took this long. 

They’re all children of gods. They all should have some kind of skill. Travis and Connor pick up on languages really quickly. Malcolm is a master crafter. Clarisse has a solid grip on all weaponry. Will is obvious with his penchant for healing. And Katie, Katie with her remarkable power, Katie with her flashy power, Katie, a sure sign she’s a daughter of Demeter. (Does this mean her mom is Demeter too? Since she can control wood?)

“What about you? What’s your power?” One of the brothers asks, “Please tell me you aren’t like Katie and can make freaky deeky trees grow.”

Miranda grasps her bracelet in a hand and smiles. “Me? I don’t have any powers.”

The one who asked her frowns, like he doesn't believe her, like he thinks she’s lying, but that's nothing new in her life. 

“Not even passive ones?” the other asks, “I don’t have a lot of active powers like Travis but we share the passive ones.”

Miranda frowns. “Passive? Active?”

He goes on to explain, “Passive as in it’s on all the time and doesn’t take energy. Like I can understand most languages. Percy can talk with horses. Malcolm can do any kind of craft. I guess active powers would be like what Katie and Will have.”

Miranda stares at her socked feet for a few seconds, debating what to say. They’re like her and Katie. They shouldn’t mind. right? But Aeron and Mia were like her and look what happened to them. 

“No,” she says, fiddling with her bracelet. “I don’t have any active powers.”

  Life’s a goddamn joke for allowing this to happen exactly one hour after that conversation about powers. 

She doesn’t quite understand what is going on with the barrier. All she knows is that the massive pine tree is dying and that is somehow correlated with the monsters getting through. 

Beckendorf, Connor, Travis, and Clarisse normally handle it. Usually, in tag teams too. It’s amazing to watch them fight and take down the monsters. The way they don’t even talk and somehow work in cohesion reveals the years they been working together. It’s so cool. 

And so very infuriating to have to sit back and do nothing. It makes her hands itch in a way it never has before. Those four are strong and Miranda has no reason to worry. But she has been the main protector of her neighborhood for years. See a monster, kill the monster. It’s a conditioned response. And one that’s proving a hard habit to kick apparently. 

She jinxes herself though because now there’s a shadow dog (“hellhound!” Will shrieks) standing before them on the volleyball field. They’re pack animals at some point in their life apparently as Miranda stares at the hellhound in front of her. Camp’s main fighters are each dealing with their own shadow dogs. Clarisse is taking on three and it seems she’s struggling. 

Don’t worry about Clarisse right now , Miranda thinks. Worry about Will and Silena first.

The three of them are by the Big House, their game of volleyball long forgotten as Miranda watches the hellhound break into a sprint towards them.

Miranda doesn’t sit in on their training session, instead spending the time climbing the rock wall but she thought this camp trains them how to fight. If Chiron is that good at teaching math and science, he must be great at teaching monster-killing techniques too, right?

But the way her two companions stare at the coming hellhound with wide eyes, the way they’re frozen in terror, the way they don’t even budge when Miranda yells for them to fucking move , it’s obvious the camp has a poor training regiment. Or maybe Will and Silena are new like her. Or maybe they’re slack off when it comes to the training sessions (the former seems more likely. Will is a crazy hard worker. She can’t imagine him skipping anything. )

Either way, the hellhound was coming towards them and Will is frozen, Silena too, and she couldn’t just not do anything. As easy as breathing, as easy as thinking, Miranda transforms her bracelet into a wooden spear. She pulls Will back from the snapping teeth and jabs the point into the eye, twisting and grinding it down into the socket.

The hellhound howls and backs away, remaining red eye glaring at her with an intelligence no wild animal has. It bares her teeth at her, some painted red with blood dripping from its destroyed eye. This one is a lot smaller than the ones she normally deals with. Maybe it’s an adolescent? 

It snarls, blood dripping in rivulets now.

Miranda squeezes her spear. 

This is it. This was the moment her father thought of her as a monster. If she continues this, the other will think she’s one too. 

But then if she hadn’t acted back then, her father would be dead. If she doesn't act now, Will will be dead. 

She’s hesitating too much. The demon snarls again and lunges towards her and Will. 

Years of fighting monsters help her evade the snapping maws, pushing Will off to the side. A claw just barely scratches her forearm though, but it itches and burns like it has been dunked in burning oil. 

“M-Miranda!” Will cries.

Hey, come on, Miranda. What is better? To have dead friends who won’t ever know your secrets? Or to have alive friends, safe and sound and able to live another day? Stop stalling. Stop playing around. Stop doubting and just finish this.

Miranda readjusts her grip on her weapon, shifting it into a pebble. The hellhound is charging towards her again. She meets it halfways, pulling off to the side at the last moment and angling her fist to be diagonal. 

Time it. Hellhounds aren’t that bright. Time it. Stay calm. You can do it. raises her fist with the pebble and waits, counting down the seconds. 

Right when the hellhound’s jaws are over her fist, right before it could snap its jaws close and take her arm, she shifts the pebble into a spear. The jaws snap and the spear embeds into the roof of the palate, clean through the snout. 

The hellhound shrieks are so, so familiar. 

Miranda pulls out the celestial weapon she received, a harvesting sickle, and brings it down into the thigh of the monster, the awful screams fading away as the monster poofs into literal gold dust.

 (Wow, Lee wasn’t kidding about that part either.)

The following silence is overwhelming. 

She doesn’t dare look at her two companions as she retrieves her bloodied spear, instead looking at the bloody mess that is her spear and the ground. 

“Well, now that’s over with. How about we continue our game of volleyball?” she says with that airiness of cheer she’s so used to drawing up.

Nobody responded like she expected. 

Someone is vomiting like she expected. 

Someone is walking towards her like she expected.

Any second now. They’re going to call her a monster and tell her to stop and go to therapy. Then when she evidently cannot be normal, cannot listen to orders, cannot sit by and just hide from the monsters that come, they will kick her out. 

Well.

It has been good while it lasted.

She’s going to miss them. 

Some of them had actually grown on her. 

A hand touches her arm. 

Yes. Any second now.

There’s a small inhale.

This was bound to happen. There’s no way she could ever hide it. 

Will is chanting and a cool sensation is flooding her arm, like pressing it against a cold pillow, soothing and soft and — wait.

Miranda steps back from the hand and stares at Will with his kind eyes, at the spear bloodied from the hellhound’s tissues, at the pile of dust, and at Silena who just now stops vomiting and is looking at her with the same look in Will’s eyes.

It’s not fear. 

She doesn’t understand what it is.

But she knows it’s not fear.

  “Show us again. We all want to see it again!” Travis exclaims, eyes twinkling in a way she wishes her dad would as well.

Let’s not think about him .

Miranda presses her palm on the trunk of the tree, bark scraped away so her fingertips rest on the wood itself. She doesn’t need to concentrate much to shift the wood into a sword perpendicular to the tree trunk. There’s a wave of gasps and admiration as she pulls the sword clean from the trunk of the tree to be passed around. 

Clarisse twirls it in her hands, impressed. Lee isn’t as impressed. He looks more pained than impressed. Maybe because she tried to crush his head with it when they first met. “Where did you learn to make something like that?” Lee asks as he examines the sword in his hands. 

Miranda takes the sword back. “There’s a lot of monsters in my neighborhood.” 

Lee’s face becomes more pained but before Miranda could dwell on it more, Clarisse shoves her way forward to stand directly in front of her. 

“That’s really impressive,” Clarisse says, eyes sparkling. “But how well can you fight with it? I’ve been looking for a new training partner after Annabeth left. All these wimps here sucks ass.”

Miranda smiles and brandishes her sword. “I say pretty well.”

In the end, her confidence isn’t unfounded. She’s equally matched with Clarisse. Her techniques and forms may be a little unorthodox but it garners the approval of Clarisse and henceforth she is now Clarisse’s new sparring buddy! 

The horn sounds for lunch and Miranda follows the others to the dining pavilion. Clarisse stays behind though, tossing a coin into a birdbath. (“She’s Iris-messaging someone. It’s a monster-free method of communication,” Malcolm explains.) The daughter of Ares talks to the fountain, saying how she “found a new sparring partner” and “she’s so much better than you” and “are you jealous, Annabeth?” all with a smug smile.

Miraculously, a voice flits up the bath, “I miss you too, Clarisse. Don’t worry. I’ll be back in a month and a half.”

Miranda stifles a grin as Clarisse’s face flushes and the daughter of Area screeches, “I DON’T MISS YOU AT ALL, CHASE. EAT SHIT.”

  Nothing good lasts for long. 

Happy times are soon banked by tragedy and sorrow. 

The euphoria brought on by getting the lead for the school play, learning about Clara and dad’s divorce, finding out about dad and Mr. Gardner’s wedding was all ruined when she found out dad can’t come to play or that Clara will have dual custody over her or that she isn’t loved. 

That last bit, discovering she wasn’t loved, definitely put a damper on her mood for a while, but she’s over it now. She got over it. She had to get over it because how can she think about something as trivial as having a dad scared of her when she has bigger things to worry about? Right now, it’s worrying about the monsters coming through the barrier. Back then it was surviving with no money, no food, and no shelter. 

That little time she spent on the run was definitely hard. 

Hunger took her mind off dad more time than she can count as she takes to the garbage cans in search of edible food. The many monsters that lurk in the cities’ corners also took her mind off her dad. And the biting cold did a great job of taking her mind off her dad as well! 

Then meeting Aeron in Memphis after she fought off a cyclops also proved to be a great distraction even though something was off about Aeron. Something dangerous…

Still, it dulled the pain and she went along with the strange boy and devoured the food she was given. Met a boy some years older than her with a kind face whose name is Chris. Met another kind girl named Chevette who healed the poisoned bite she got from the shadow dog. Met a girl named Mia who said she understands as she cups her hands in hers with a smile that’s kind of deranged. 

Aeron said they’re revolutionaries. They’re going to change the world, the entire infrastructure. They said they were going to make sure no child goes neglected. No child will suffer. No child will ever feel unloved. Which sounds nice and all and when Miranda asked how they were going to achieve that goal, Aeron said they’re going to climb to the heavens, destroy the gods, and replace them with titans.

Which… okay. Miranda thought they might be a little crazy because after all, God isn’t real but they have food and shelter and people who say they understand so she stuck with them for a little while.

Nothing good ever lasts. 

The group she found, while kind enough to provide life necessities, are also off the rocket insane . 

‘We need you to fight.’ ‘We need you to kill.’ ‘We need you to infiltrate camp something something.’ ‘We need you to be a spy.’ ‘We need you to kill this boy named Perc something something.’ 

Espionage, murder, assassination. 

It’s absolutely insane. And the way everybody didn’t blink an eye? They’re definitely a cult. So she left in the middle of the night without telling anyone. 

But she wasn’t sneaky enough. Someone must have seen her left and tailed her. 

They’re oddly persistent, following her wherever she goes. No matter how much she threatens them to leave her alone, that she will hurt them (no, she won’t), that she will kill them (no, she won’t), that she’s getting tired of this (scared, really), that she isn’t going to join whatever evil cult they have going on (Katie, please help her), they persisted. 

And persisted and persisted and persisted. 

Miranda was seconds away from giving in and going to the police to help her take her back to Texas.

That is, until she met Lee. 

She was so, so certain Lee was with them. 

But he said Katie sent him after her and she so desperately wanted to believe that Katie loved her, doesn’t fear her like dad and Mr. Gardner does. Lee seems to be an honest, good man. She doesn’t sense any warning bells. So she got into the car with him (windows down and no seatbelt in the backseat just in case. Just in case…) 

But everything works out in the end and here she is, swathed in a warm blanket with fresh clothes, food in her tummy, and weirdos who aren't freaked out by her. 

But all good things come to an end.

“Hello, Miranda.”

It’s so bullshit.

“It’s so nice to see you again.”

Why can’t nice things last?

“Let’s all be friends.” 

Then like the viper she is, Mia smiles innocently and sweetly, standing on top Half Blood Hill with a suitcase.

  Miranda doesn't like asking outright what’s going on with the Camp (Travis becomes 100x more talkative with this painful longing in his eyes and Connor seethes quietly as he tears open into a bag of Cheetos. Miranda decides she doesn’t like those looks), but she gets just enough to understand the main picture.

Luke, a former counselor, went full crazy and joined an evil god to destroy the world. (“Titan,” as Chiron likes to correct her so often). 

Before going AWOL, Luke recruited almost all of the Hermes Cabin. 

A simple investigation of the cabin’s closet reveals a lot of belongings — a photo of a boy and girl, a stuffed bear, a Canon camera, a locket —  carefully stacked in the corner of the closet in a large box labeled ‘just in case they come back :)’ 

And an even simpler check of the belongings reveal names written in sharpie. Chris. Chevette. Holden. Aeron. 

Aeron. 

The pieces are falling together now. 

“Miranda,” Mia says lightly, like they’re old friends. “You look like you want to punch me.”

I do.  

“What are you doing here?” Miranda asks instead, hand gripping her bracelet as they stand under Thalia’s Pine. They’re the same height with close to the same build. If it comes to blows, Miranda won’t have trouble overpowering her. Mia’s ridiculously long, knee-length hair with all the ridiculously large ribbons and bold hair clips is also an easy target. The weird, shimmering cerulean hues of her eyes is no less creepy than it was all those weeks ago. 

Mia’s eyes follow her hand, her smile saddening. She tucks a strand of her straight, brown hair behind her ear. “I see you’re more open to using your powers. Shame you won’t use it for us.”

“What are you doing here?” Miranda asks again. Warning bells pulse through her. Danger danger danger, they scream. What were Mia’s powers? Do you remember? Did she ever used them? 

“Travis and Connor,” Mia says, Miranda’s blood going cold. How does she know them? “I need to talk to them.”

“What do you want with them?” Miranda asks, transforming her bracelet into a pebble. 

“I just need to talk with Travis and Connor. There’s matters I—”

“You’re working with Kronos, aren’t you?” Miranda bites out. 

The smile widens. “So you know that name. Yet you’re still here.”

“What is your goal?”

No answer. 

Miranda thinks of Will and Silena who can fight but not that well, who keeps facing death’s door every time a monster comes because the barrier is deteriorating. She thinks of Travis and Connor and how they liken this camp as their home, of Lee who calls this place a sanctuary, of Clarisse and Beckendorf who found their place in this world thanks to the camp. 

And she thinks of Katie. This is the place where she finally, finally, after years and years of trying and failing, learned to control her powers. 

It’s precious to them. 

And they’re precious to her.  

“Are you going to destroy the camp?”

No answer. 

Miranda takes a step towards Mia who smiles wider. 

“Tell me!” 

She hears footsteps behind her, someone running to them. She doesn’t turn around. She knows better than to turn the back to the enemy but she hopes, she prays to every gods there are that it isn’t—

“Hi there. Are you new? Do you two know each other?” her head counselor asks, coming right up beside her with what she knows is a lax grin. 

“Get back,” Miranda snaps, leaping back herself but it’s too late. 

Mia’s smile widens even more. The hand in her pocket twitches and suddenly Miranda and her counselor are flying through the air. The back of her head hits a shoulder. An elbow digs into her ribs. Her knees are pressed into her chest. 15 feet below the metal chain net she’s trapped in, Mia is pulling out a gun from the back of her pants. 

“Gun!” she yells, shaking the net with her hands. Panic settles in her as she twists to see who followed her counselor. His brother, most definitely. They’re never apart, but Malcolm is there too. They both stare at her— no. Her other counselor is looking at Mia now, eyes widening as he steps back with a hand on Malcolm’s arm. 

“Shit. Fuck. Malcolm, duck, duck, duck!”

“Connor, run!”

“She has a gun!” Miranda cries, “Malcolm, look o—”

The gun fires.

Malcolm falls forward flat onto his face and Miranda sees Char’s parents before her. Ms. Violet. Mr. Dinkleberry. Dead and in pieces. 

No. no no no no no nonono nonoNO

She shakes the chains with all her might, tries to break the chains by fitting the pebbles between the gaps and expanding but they hold strong. All she can do is yell and rattle the chains. 

She hasn't felt useless in such a long time. Not since Char’s parents gave their life for her. She forgets how awful losing friends is as she watches Malcolm curls in on himself undoubtedly in pain (he isn’t bleeding), forgets how much it hurts to hear others as Connor cries out and sinks to Malcolm’s side, shaking unmoving shoulders, (why isn’t he bleeding?), forgets the sheer grief that comes with situations like these. (He isn’t bleeding. Something’s wrong!)

Even with all that is happening, the tears haven’t come and she sees everything that unfolds in crystal clarity.

Malcolm continues to curl in on himself until his hands and feet are beneath him, then he’s pushing himself up until he’s kneeling, until he’s standing, until Miranda can see that glassy, distant hinge to his normally sharp eyes. (Something’s wrong.)

“Malco…?” Connor starts and he sees what Miranda does too, scrambling back from his cabinmate with alarm. 

Malcolm takes a step to close the distance and socks Connor in the cheek. 

Travis shrieks in concern, chains rattling as he throws a fit beside her. 

From what she saw during training, Malcolm is a very efficient fighter, wasting no movements, wasting no energy. He just does his thing without any hesitation. It’s no surprise to her when Malcolm restrains Connor before he has time to think. In mere seconds, Connor went from standing to nursing his cheek to kneeling to having his arms pinned behind his back, Malcolm gripping the appendages in a fashion that if need be he can just apply pressure and break the bones. 

“That had gone swimmingly well. Just as planned,” Mia sighs with relief and this blind rage, this boiling fury coils in Miranda’s stomach.

“Why are you doing this, Mia?” Miranda asks, unable to keep the shake away from her voice as Mia stands over Connor’s vulnerable form.

“I’ll kill you! Fight me fair and square, you ugly punk!” Connor screeches with his cheek pressed against the dirt. He didn’t flinch or even showed discomfort as Malcolm pressed on his arms to their breaking point and that’s impressive. Once they’re free, Miranda has to get Connor to teach her to keep a game face. “I’ll kill you! What did you do to Malcolm?”

“Who? Oh, Him?” Mia says, like there could be any others. “He’s simply brainwashed. Whoever the gun hits becomes my personal slave for a couple minutes. So, I’m guessing you’re Connor? Aeron always said you had a potty mouth.”

Travis beside her bristled and that all but confirmed it. Travis and Connor knew Aeron. Aeron was originally from Camp Half Blood. 

Connor screeches and twists, trying to throw Malcolm off him but the smaller male has him locked in place. With gusto Clarisse would be proud off, Connor curses, “Aeron is a filthy liar. Let Malcolm go and I’ll show you how shitty my mouth can become.” 

Mia still looks unfazed. “Hmmm. You don’t seem as scary as the others make you out to be. I expected more. But I suppose this is the result when you overestimate your enemy.”

The chains rattle once to draw Mia’s attention. When Travis spoke it’s all calm and gentle words, but there’s a layer of coldness, of frigidity, that put her on her toes. It… it reminds her of her dad. “Hey. Mia, right? Nice to meet you. I’m Travis. Welcome to Camp Half Blood. Quick question before we start the tour, what do you want with my brother?”

Mia hums, tucking a strand behind her hair. “Luke wants him for some reason. He asked me to infiltrate the camp and kidnap you, Travis, to bring back to our base. We’ll use you as a bargaining tool to have Connor do whatever we want. Of course, my initial plan of pretending to be a camper was all ruined when I saw Miranda but I have to say this improvisation turned out to be better.”

Travis’s hand slinks into his pocket, the elbow jabbing into her ribs. 

“That’s it? You think kidnapping me is enough? Like, come on. I am an escape artist. There’s nothing I can’t break out of. Luke and Aeron should have known that. Do you seriously think keeping me hostage will work?” Travis says with a small laugh, voice still cold. 

“We thought about that and we came to the conclusion that if you proved to be too much of a hassle to contain, we’ll just have a child of Apollo mess with your memories a bit. We found him a few days ago. Apparently he’s well versed in the medicinal qualities of his powers. He can make memories, lock memories of his patients, even change existing memories by messing with the neurons of the brain. It all comes at a cost, of course. It’s rather draining for him so we rather not use it so freely.”

“Touch Travis and I swear I’ll cut you up into quarters and feed you to the pigs!” Connor shouts, struggling with renewed vigor as Travis laughs. 

“That sounds so villain-y and super, super fake. Do you know how crazy you sound right now?” Travis says but the hand in his pocket pulls out and Miranda can see the celestial Swiss Army Knife gripped tight in his hands. 

“I assure you I am not lying.”

“Sure you aren’t. Oh by the way, how many of those mind-control bullets do you have?”

Mia didn’t look away as she shot Connor in the back with the gun. “Enough for everyone here.” 

Travis’s jaw twitches, but he remains composed. The knife moves closer to the chain. 

“I rather not fight. My orders are to bring you back unharmed. But if I have to cut off your limbs, then so be it,” Mia warns, readying her gun.  

“You’re fibbing,” Travis says with hearty laughs, but under his breath, for her ears only, he mutters, “Make a cushion and then go get help,” before she’s freefalling 15 feet back to the ground.

A cushion , she thinks. Something to cushion their fall and not break their bones.

She extends the wood pebble in her hand to become thin wood shavings. Not the best but it’s something. She hits the pile feet first and flinches from the shock of the drop. 

Travis didn’t flinch though. 

He lands feet first and starts running immediately for Mia. He dodges Malcolm coming for him, leaps over Conner with that same glassy stare in his eyes, and — Travis crashes face first into the dirt from Connor tripping him. 

Travis groans and kicks Connor in the shoulder, yelling a quick ‘sorry’ as he scrambles to his knees. But Connor surges on and wrestles Travis back onto the ground. Either the kick was too soft or Connor’s brainwashed state dulls the pain. Probably the former. 

Miranda recalls the shavings back into a block of wood and charges at Mia. She grabs the hand with the gun first, pulling it off to the side first. A little twist and pressure and the gun drops from Mia’s hands. Then Miranda pins both wrists above Mia’s head and wraps it together with the wood in a makeshift handcuff. 

“Make them stop,” Miranda hisses in Mia’s face. 

To her infuriation, Mia smirks. “And if I don’t?” 

“I wasn’t asking. Do it. Now.”

“What will you do if I refuse? Kill me? I don’t think your father will be too happy with you.”

Miranda’s heart stutters even as she grits out, “You don’t know my dad.”

Kill her? Dad would understand why she has too. Dad will… no. No, he won’t. He barely understands why she has to kill the monsters. He thinks you do it out of fun, not out of necessity. He won’t understand this either . 

Travis makes a pitiful whine and Miranda’s head whips around to see Travis tossing his brother over his shoulder towards Malcolm. 

“Come on, Connor, dude. I’m trying to save your life. Stop being a nuisance and take it easy for once,” Travis whines, as Connor stands back up and koala hugs his brother while Malcolm takes out a dagger. 

“You always hesitate. The enemy won’t hesitate.”

All that time the two of them spar, Travis never won once.  

Unless… maybe… hopefully… Travis was holding back?

Connor is wrestling Travis into the ground, stomach down, just like in their practices. 

Nows a great time to stop holding back, Travis. 

Connor is straddling Travis on the back just like their practices. 

Come on, Travis . 

Connor now has Travis pinned just like their practices.  

Time to show your true strength . 

Connor has effectively rendered Travis immobile. Just like their practices. 

Who is she kidding? Connor is his brother. Travis won’t do anything to hurt him. So it’s up to her to get them out of this mess

Kill Mia . Kill her and everything will be solved . 

It should be easy enough. Humans don’t have nearly as thick a skin as monsters do. 

But her dad... Mia will win if you don’t do this. Her dad will never be able to talk with her again. Stop lying to yourself. Dad will forever hate her. He never loved you in the first place. She can never face him again if she does this. 

He’s a lost cause. Give up on him.

Her other bracelet starts shift forms. 

Mia‘s eyes dart to it.

Travis.

Connor. Malcolm. Will. Silena. Beckendorf. Lee. Clarisse. 

They don’t fear her like Katie doesn’t fear her, that has been established. She won’t lose them the way she lost her father. Now to not lose them to death. She can control that. 

Focus. Just kill Mia and this will all be over.

Just go one more step further. 

Save your friends. 

Kill. 

“Miranda.”

Focus.

“Miranda!”

Focus.

“MIRANDA!”

She snaps to attention, loosening up the wood block crushing Mia’s neck and there’s a cacophony of guttural gasps from the girl beneath her. 

Travis somehow got himself free and is now holding Connor in a bear hug while shoving Malcolm to the ground, kicking the dagger away. Even busy, the smile Travis gives her is genuine. She wonders if her heart should be swelling the way it is now. 

“Oh thank god, you finally look this way. It’s going to be — OW, Connor, you donkey!” Travis yells as Connor flings his head back, hits Travis’s scare in the forehead, and escapes, going for Malcolm’s dagger. “It’s going to be okay. Just go get Clarisse or Lee.” Travis rips the knife out of Connor’s lunging hands and tosses it aside. “I’ll handle this.” Travis blocks a roundhouse kick from Malcolm. “You don’t have to fight.”

I don’t have to… fight? I don’t have to? 

I don’t want to. 

But… but… 

Mia smirks but it’s tinged with the slightest of fear. “Lee, Clarisse, and Silena are at Karen’s funeral. Our intel tells us Will and Beckendorf are at the armory around this time. And Chiron is talking with the Olympians. Leave and by the time you get back, I would be long gone.”

Travis groans as he leans away from Connor trying to eviscerate him with a new knife. “The spy? The spy is a yearrounder? It’s one of us?”

Mia only smiles. 

A spy? Among them? What? How? Why? 

No. There’s no time to think about it. Later. When the time is better. When Mia isn’t— crap she shouldn’t have looked away from her. A shoe connects with her stomach, knocking the wind out of her and pushing her off. She’s aware of Travis crying her name but there’s bigger fish to fry. 

How could she let herself be distracted? 

Mia is standing back up with the gun in Mia’s still locked hands and crap. Miranda is shifting the block of wood into a shield but she can tell she isn’t going to make it. 

Crap. Crap. Crap crap crap crap crap . 

Mia aims the gun at her. Miranda can see the barrel. The shield is still nowhere wide enough, just barely the diameter of a basketball. But it’s better than nothing and with a little prayer to Mr. D, the only god she knows for sure is real, she tries to tuck her body behind the teensy-weensy shield.

  Except. 

There is no bang. 

The gun never goes off. 

Instead there is a howl, a high-pitched shriek she mistaken for hellhounds so many times back in Texas.

Follow directly by a stampede.

And shortly after a human’s screams.

“You always hesitate. The enemy won’t hesitate.”

She had asked them how long they had been at camp. “Almost 6 years,” they had told her proudly. “We came to camp when we were 7 and 6.” But then right after they said a lot of them here understand being homeless. A lot of them ran away from home. Did they too? Did they run away when they were so young?

“ I’m scared of going too far, you know? I don’t want to hurt anybody.”

That was what Katie used to say too, all those times she asked if Katie wanted to help kill the monsters. 

When Miranda lowers the shield, there’s a coyote biting at Mia’s ankle. Another coyote gnawing on the wrist. Several pigeons pecking at Mia’s face. A Holstein cow — a cow , where the heck did this cow come from?? — running in and butting Mia in the abdomen hard enough for her to fly back and hit the ground with a sickening crack. The cow stomps on Mia’s legs, her hips, her stomach and — oh god, she thinks she hears ribs cracking. Another coyote darts in and grabs the gun, crunching it in it’s jaws. Connor and Malcolm collapse in a heap. 

Miranda stares at the animals stomping, biting, pecking, tearing the girl apart. It’s hard not to think of Katie and how, on that fateful day, her powers crushed the living goo out of that cyclops. That miserable resignation that was on Katie’s face is the same on Travis. 

Miranda doesn’t like that face. She doesn’t want to see them ever again.

Travis kneels by Connor and Malcolm unmoving bodies and checks their pulses. The relief on his face tells her all she needs to know. 

“That’s enough. Thanks, guys,” orders Travis. 

The animals stop immediately, obeying without a second command and running off to who knows where. Complete and total control. Dang… Travis can do this kind of stuff? 

“You okay?” 

It takes an embarrassing five seconds before Miranda realizes Travis is talking to her and she nods quickly.

Travis sighs a hasty, “That’s good. Great. Cool. Amazing. Okie dokie, time to get this over with.” Then he stands with a grunt and limps towards Mia, his calf bleeding from a cut. 

For anyone else, being stomped on by a 1000 pound cow would be enough for death to hurl them off into hell but Mia isn’t just anybody. She splutters weakly as Travis nears but her voice still holds conviction. “Stay away from me.” 

Travis pauses for a second before going again. 

Mia turns her head and glares, face ridden with lacerations from the pigeons. “I said stay away.”

“You’re going to die if you don’t get help,” Travis murmurs, voice quieter than Miranda had ever heard it. 

“Good.”

“Good?” Travis says lowly, “Are you really going to die for Luke’s revenge ploy? Come on. You can’t be serious.” 

“Yes. I—” Mia coughs, blood spluttering from her lips. She’s dying, but her eyes are enraged, burning with hatred that she sees sometimes in Lee’s and Connor’s when they don’t think anyone is looking.

“Yes, I am willing to die if it means my godly mother will suffer even a bit of the humiliation and pain she inflicted upon me.” 

“Dying isn’t the way to get stuff done though,” Miranda says, staring at the corner of the shirt that’s still relatively free of blood. But there’s something… Miranda rubs her eyes. Is it her or is Mia’s hand glowing?

“You think you hold the moral high ground, don’t you?” Mia rasps. Yes, her hand is definitely glowing with a reddish light. “But you’re just allowing the gods to do whatever they wish, to continue their millenia long abuse. Your inaction makes you just as bad as them.”

“The world is going to end if we follow Luke,” Travis says mechanically, like he says this a thousand times.

Mia just laughs. “That’s what the gods told you to keep you fools fighting for them and you all fell for it.” 

Travis stares at the ground for a few, contemplative seconds before pulling out a bottle of nectar from his pocket. “Maybe. Maybe not. But I like to think my dad really cares for us. I can sleep at night that way. Besides, the Olympians are keeping the world running. It would be selfish to expect them to be there for us 24/7.” 

The glow is spreading from her hands up her arm and it’s shining even brighter now. Does Travis not notice?

Mia in return just laughs harder, even as more blood trickles past her lips. “Unbelievable. You’re so blinded. It’s actually rather sad.”

“I can say the same about—”

“You know, Luke had told me if you ended up resisting too much to just kill you. If we can’t add to our forces, then it’s better to cripple the enemy. I was so looking forward to my mother’s despair but I suppose I’ll just have to wait until she’s tossed into Tartarus.”

The light settles in the chest area, growing tenfold in intensity, and Miranda understands the same time Travis does. 

She’s going to explode herself. 

“Are you kidding me?!” Travis screeches before turning tail and yelling for her to get Malcolm.

There’s not enough time. 

Travis grabs her arm and tugs her to her feet, yelling even louder for her to move as he lifts Malcolm and Connor by the back of their shirt. Miranda stumbles to her feet and takes Malcolm from Travis, tugging him in place of the son of Hermes. 

They’re not going to make it. 

They have 3 seconds at most before Mia explodes. That’s not enough time to run. Not enough time to get out of the range. All four of them are going to die. But if she blocks as much of the blast as she can… maybe… it might all work out. 

Miranda looks down at the shield in her hands. 

She can’t change the mass of the shield. This is all she has to work with. A big enough shield to cover both of them means it will be stretched thin. But if she focuses on thickness, their limbs won’t be covered. 

Decide. 

Quick. 

Right now. 

Do it right now. 

“Miranda! Come on!

Miranda passes Malcolm off to Travis, plants herself in front of them, and makes a decision. 

Even if she misjudges the intensity of the blast, even if she gets burned a little (or a lot), even if it hurts, as long as everybody makes it out okay, what’s there to complain about? 

As long as everybody makes it out okay, then she is fine with any outcome. 

Holding up the shield, Miranda clenches her eyes and braces herself.

  But there’s a hand on her shoulder and another hand pulling her shield from her hands.

When she opens her eyes, Travis is in front of her with her shield in his hands. 

He’s protecting her, she realizes.

And wait — no — that’s not how it works. It’s supposed to be the other way around. It’s always the other way around. 

Wait — 

Don’t —

No — 

  It wasn’t enough. 

It wasn’t enough. 

The shield was too thin.  

It wasn’t enough. 

She wonders if she will ever forget the smell of cooked flesh and would ever forget Travis’s unbridled screams before he could restrain himself and would ever forget the burns, the entire arm charred black. 

No. 

She probably would never forget.

  “This is it. This takes the cake. This is the worst pain I ever experienced. I really do have a curse. Quick, check my arm. Is it still there? Am I going to become like Edward Elric? Will Beckendorf have to make me a metal arm? Ah my gods, that would be so so sooooo cool . Ahhhhhithurtssomuch.”

Maybe if she stares hard enough at Will and Beckendorf running towards them, they’ll run faster. Maybe if she does not look at the burns, it’s not as bad as it seems. Maybe if she just focuses on his words and not his tone, his gasps, his whimpers, then maybe Travis is okay. 

“Miranda, tell Beckendorf that in my new robot arm, I want a snack and drink compartment. He can do that, right? Yeah? Yes? The counselor meetings get so boring. You have no idea.”

But this laughable denial of hers is ridiculous. 

“Why?” she says, hugging her knees close to her chest. “I was already in position.”

Travis’s blue eyes fall to her and she hates the hurt she sees in them. Hates hates hates hates hates it. 

But he grins, a bare ghost from his usual dazzling grin, but a grin nonetheless. It makes her heart ache. 

“I’m a counselor,” he gasps brokenly, “It’s my job to keep you all safe and sound. Also, I’m the oldest. Wait, how old are you? Younger than Katie, right? I’m the oldest? Yeah, I’m the oldest and the oldest have the duty of being the punching bag.” 

“You didn’t have to.” Her throat feels knotted. The words are getting harder and harder to force out. 

Travis ruffles her hair with his good hand and smiles just like the way her dad always used to. 

“I wanted to.”

The charred grass blurs a little. Miranda grinds the heel of her hands into the socket but it just made it worse. And worse, and worse, and worse until she gives up and buries her face in her knees. 

This is so stupid…

She got over it… 

Why is she still hung up over it…

She should just let it go… 

But still …. Why couldn’t it be dad who said that to her? 

  “You’re incredibly stupid.”

“I’m going to personally kill you.”

“What the fuck were you thinking?”

Miranda glares at the blonde girl’s back. So this is Annabeth Chase. She heard nothing but good things about this girl and yet... 

She wonders how much trouble she’ll be in if she pummels this girl. 

“This isn’t his—'' she starts to say.

But Connor, fully recovered and sound of mind again, holds her back by the wrist and shakes his head. “This is how she shows she’s worried. She’s not being serious.”

Miranda doesn’t quite get it, but as long as Travis isn’t bothered by it — he isn’t, if anything he seems on the verge of laughing — then she’ll let it go. 

As Annabeth’s rants quiet down, Travis puts down the paper crane he's been making and says, “I’m thinking of starting a swear jar. Imagine all the drachma I can make off you and Connor alone.” 

“This is serious , Travis!” Annabeth sighs, stopping her pacing to face him. “You could have died.” 

“But!” Travis says, waving his healed arm with no scars whatsoever. Will is passed out, slumped on the infirmary bed. “I didn’t. So this is a great, great day and I’m still twinsies with Connor so even better!” By Ng

Annabeth sighs again and picks up Will with ease and lays him on the bed, sliding a blanket over him. 

“What about next time? What if next time you weren’t so lucky? You could lose an arm or leg. Even your life.” Annabeth walks over to Travis and pulls his arm into her hands to scrutinize the healed appendage.  

Still Travis shrugs. “Guess I’ll deal with it when that day comes. But since you’re here right now, how about a game of Egyptian War? Loser buys winner a chili bread bowl.”

It’s clearly an unacceptable answer even to Miranda. Annabeth looks close to having an aneurysm. 

“One month,” the blonde says, “I have one more month of school left and then I’ll be back as a yearrounder again. Don’t get into any trouble until then.”

“One month? Ehhh, doesn’t sound doable.”

“Travis,” Annabeth says smoothly, resting a hand on Travis’s shoulder with a terrifying calm expression. “Seriously.”

The jovialness sloughs off in one second and Travis nods. “Okay. One month of no trouble. I promise.” 

Quick as the soberness came, the quicker it left as Travis grins playfully. “So, Egyptian War? What do you say? Loser buys the chili bread bowl. I want it fresh from San Francisco.”

  Miranda and Connor are kicked out as Chiron checks Travis over again. Something about them being a distraction which she totally believes because Travis keeps asking them to free him. His cry of “Traitors! Don’t leave me with Chiron! Noooooooo,” lingering in her mind as she sits on the porch’s bench with Connor. 

Annabeth is on Half Blood Hill with a man, her father probably. A woman comes up to them and kisses the man on the cheek, the mother. Two boys bounce into the picture too, the brothers. They’re just one big, happy family aren’t they? She wonders if that will ever be her one day. Standing on the hill with her dad and Katie by her side… walking down the hill to go back to Texas… living life like it was when she was four and innocent and ignorant. What a life would that be… 

“Did I hurt him too badly?” Connor says out of the blue. 

Shit. Miranda tears her eyes away from the departing family to Connor, gloomily glaring at his lap. Shit . Miranda looks away. “No. You only just bear-hugged him.” 

“You need a better lying face,” Connor mumbles, slumping on the bench. “What exactly did I do? Did I make that wound on his leg? His shirt was torn too. Did I—”

“Hey! Let’s talk about something else. What is that cool Disney princess power Travis has? The one where he can control the animals?”

Connor’s guilt-laden expression disappears like a dime as he shushes her, eyes darting around them.

“Sh! Not so loud,” Connor whispers furtively, “He used it in front of you? His — his — okay, Disney princess power is one way to describe it — but his animal manipulation skill?”

She nods, Connor paling at her response. He slumps even more on the bench and runs a hand through his hair, muttering about how he can’t believe Travis actually used it. 

“Look.” Connor shuffles closer to her, whispering even quieter. “Our dad is the god of animal husbandry otherwise known as the care, management, and breeding of livestock. Travis and I can talk with animals because of this and if Travis focuses really hard, he can even summon them.”

Miranda shakes her head. “Snakes and coyotes aren’t livestock.”

“Right, but with zoos becoming more and more rescue-focused and helping the species recover while providing environmental enrichment, Hermes’s power extends to wild animals now. What I need you to do now is not tell anyone about this. No one but us and Annabeth knows. It’s our last resort power, our ace up our sleeve, our trump card. Don’t tell anyone .” 

“Then why did he use it?” she asks, puzzled. “He could have summoned the animals after I was mind-controlled.”

Connor murmurs, “Travis probably panicked. He doesn’t do well fighting by himself. I think he saw it was going to become one versus four and he acted so he wouldn’t be alone.”  

Oh. That sounds kind of sad to be honest. 

And a major liability. 

  “We aren’t the spies,” Malcolm announces out of nowhere. Travis, having been discharged by Chiron, wanted to spend the rest of the day on the rock climbing wall. But Will, bless his heart, somehow woke up like he knew Travis will say that and ordered him to only rest and rehab. 

 Connor and she had to drag Travis whining to the cabin. 

Malcolm followed after them. Maybe out of guilt. Maybe out of boredom. Maybe just wanting to get some rest too. Then five minutes into their break, Malcolm said that. 

“What?”

“I said, we aren’t the spies,” Malcolm repeats. “Us four, right here, right now. Mia tried to kill us four so we can’t be the spies.”

“Okay?” Travis says with confusion, continuing to draw in his notebook. It looks like the interior of their cabin. Is he making a bed sign up sheet? “I kinda figured that was the case?”

But Connor seems to get what Malcolm is getting as he scowls, putting down his book about engineering. “In a few more weeks, it won’t just be us four in this cabin.”

“Mia knew me,” Miranda realizes, “She couldn’t infiltrate like she wanted because she knows I will recognize her. But before I left, Aeron was finding demigods left and right. I would see a new face everyday.”

“How are we going to identify Luke’ henchmen from regular campers?” Malcolm asks, nudging Travis in the arm to make him stop drawing.

Travis waves his hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about it. Connor and I handle it.”

“But...” Malcolm starts as Travis goes back to doodling. 

“Trust us,” Connor pats Malcolm on the back. “We got a plan.”

“But…” Malcolm wilts. “I want to do something too. I can help. I want to help.”

Miranda twirls her bracelet on a finger. 

“Malcolm’s right. It doesn’t have to be you two doing everything. We’ll do what we can too.”

   June

She didn’t believe Lee at first about how full this cabin can become. But then the campers start filing in one after another and holy cow. There’s definitely not enough bed to house them all. It’s crazy how many people are coming in… 

And it’s crazy how far people are willing to go to claim a bed. Bags are being thrown. People are pulling out charts and diagrams. Powers are being used. It’s complete utter chaos. And Miranda has to say, she kinda likes it.  

“Mine! I called it!”

“No fair! I was here first!”

“Lukkkkkeeeeee, Johnny is being mean again.”

“Hey, where is Luke?”

“Wahahahahaha! All you little fuckers are too slow.”

“Everybody shut up. I’m trying to study for the SAT.”

“It’s summer. It’s summmeeerrrrrrrrrr! I’m going to do nothing but sleep.”

“Jeremy, give me back my manga!”

“LUKEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

Miranda ducks as an 11-year-old hurls a pillow and misses their target. She steps over two 10-year-olds play-wrestling on the ground. She points a lost 9-year-old to the closet. Then finally she stands before her childhood friend looking as uncomfortable as she expected. 

Katie never was one for rowdiness. 

“Kit-Kat Katie!” Miranda exclaims, looping an arm around her friend’s shoulder. 

Katie scowls just as expected too, but doesn’t shove her away. “Please don’t start calling me that too.”

Miranda laughs and presses her cheeks against Katie’s shoulder. “But it’s so cute!”

“It’s annoying,” Katie sulks, lower lip jutting. 

But her childhood friend drops the pout and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “Miranda, I—”

“My fault? My fault ? ”

Miranda glances over her shoulder to find two boys — Michael and someone she doesn't recognize — face to face. Well, more like face to chest. Michael is trying his best by standing straighter but there’s only so much one can do. They’re not outright brawling so Miranda lets her attention drift back to Katie. 

“Yeah? What were you about to say?” 

Katie’s face crumbles. “I pestered our parents to tell me what happened.” 

“And?”

Her step-sister shakes her head, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. “They want you to stay here.” 

Miranda pulls Katie into a hug just as the tears start to fall. “There, there. It’s going to be okay,” she says as Katie cries into her shoulder. It’s not fair, I don't understand, what does he mean?, Monster?, you’re the nicest person ever.

Miranda hides her smile in Katie’s hair. She kinda expected this would happen. Huh. It hurt a lot more than she thought it would. But Katie’s quiet affirmations of her character helps dull the pain. Plus, there’s also — 

“I’m going to kill you!” 

Directly after, the screams start. 

Miranda turns around to find the newcomer on top of Michael with hands around his neck. Travis is pulling New Guy off Michael with difficulty, yelling for the others to step back. Connor helps Michael stand and holds him back from probably jumping the New Guy. This is turning out to be a very eventful first day. 

“I’ll be right back, Kitty Kat.”

Miranda bites back a smile at Katie’s indignant squawk at the new nickname and makes her way to Mr. Pushy.

“Hey,” she says, sliding in front of New Guy and planting herself right between Michael and him.  “That’s not a nice way to speak to your future friends.” 

“Future friends?” the guy — Sherman, if the name on his duffel bag is correct — snorts, “What is this, some kind of preschool?”

Miranda smiles. “If you’re a bully, you won’t make any friends.” 

Sherman rolls his eyes and rips his arm free from Travis. “Get the fuck out of my way.”

Travis, the semi-hopeful face he dawns upon her arrival, now looks absolutely miserable as he says, “I can’t do that. And no cussing in my cabin. Both of you are sleeping on the floor. Beds are only for campers who play nice.” 

“Fuck off,” Sherman spits at Travis and tries to shove past her (Michael really helping this situation by screaming, “BRING IT!” behind her).  

Miranda grabs the sleeves of Sherman’s shirt, puts her forearm under the armpit, and tosses him over her shoulder, making sure he lands on the pillow tossed earlier. 

She smiles innocently as she lets him go to address the silent crowd, ignoring the star-struck gaze Sherman has. 

“We are all in the same boat so let’s try to get along, yeah?” 

  Plus, she also got Katie and her new friends so life isn’t all that bad now. 

[disabilitymissunderstood]

welp you guys been requesting me to do one, so here i did! enjoy!

1: Full name

Amy)I prefer alex) Kathrine 

2: Age/20

3: 3 Fears

men(i am working on it), small spaces and being forgotten

4: 3 things I love

animals, music, baking/cooking

5: 4 turns on

being held, kissing, hugging, and smiling

6: 4 turns off

yelling, being lied too, betrayal, being mean

7: My best friend

my dog

8: Sexual orientation

 g-a-y (remember i am both genders)

9: My best first date

never been on  a date D:

10: How tall am I

5′4 i am short :c

11: What do I miss

the old me, and my brother Micheal.

12: What time were I born

in the morning (dont know the time)

13: Favourite color

 red, black, grey, and white

14: Do I have a crush

yesss

15: Favorite quote

“people don’t die from suicide, they die from sadness”

16: Favourite place 

library, hot topic, humane society, pet-co/pet smart, cuddling with Gracie, in bed.

17: Favourite food

 pastaa and rice

18: Do I use sarcasm

A L W A Y S

19: What am I listening to right now

 never to late by three days grace

20: First thing I notice in new person

 there attitude 

21: Shoe size/ 8

22: Eye color/  B R O W N

23: Hair color/ B R O W N

24: Favourite style of clothing

anything from Hot topic/spencers

25: Ever done a prank call?

maybe when i was younger??

27: Meaning behind my URL/

i am disabled and just wanna let others that are aswell its okay to be different, you’re not alone<3

28: Favourite movie/ dogs purpose

29: Favourite song/ to many

30: Favourite band/ lots

31: How I feel right now

my neck is killing me >:(

32: Someone I love/ my dog

33: My current relationship status/ S I N G L E

34: My relationship with my parents/ good?

35: Favorite holiday

Christmas, thanksgiving, and Halloween

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

 piercings- my boobs, my septum and my ears (i plan on getting more) and tattoos i haven’t gotten around yet

37: Tattoos and piercing i want/ check my blog

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

just to have a place to express my feelings and likes

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

Y E S 

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

Sometimes

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

yesss

42: When did I last hold hands?

yesterday!

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

like 10 mins

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

yus

45: Where am I right now?

in bed

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

my brothers

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

loud

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

currently living w my mom but i am going to be moving into my apartment soon!

49: Am I excited for anything?

moving into my apartment soon! also applying for college soon!

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

yes!

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

L O T S 

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

today

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

i would be balling rn

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

yes

55: What is something I disliked about today?

nothing

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

mmm good question, probably ronnie radke

57: What do I think about most?

my future and sometimes my past...

58: What’s my strangest talent?

breathing

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

small places

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

some days behind it, others in front of it

61: What was the last lie I told?

mmmmm im not sure

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

texting

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

yes yes

64: Do I believe in magic?

yes

65: Do I believe in luck?

for other people? yes, but for me? no

66: What’s the weather like right now?

its storming (rain and thunder)

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

fifty shades of grey ^_^

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

yes ;,,,,;

69: Do I have any nicknames?

little one, poobear, princess

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

cut on my neck, deep scar on my arm, and my head

71: Do I spend money or save it?

save it 

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?

no

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?

no

74: Favourite animal?

slothes are so cute! (i generally don’t have a favorite animal i love all)

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

watching netflix

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

mmm don’t know

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

sunflower by post malone

78: How can you win my heart?

by me food and show me u actually love me

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

“she was a hero”

80: What is my favorite word?

F U C K

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

@foodie4ever @tropiclyy @sadviolences @traaumaa @beyondbrokenvixi

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

fuck you T R U  M P

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

don’t know

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

let me fly xD

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

good question, i am not sure.

86: What is my current desktop picture?

my dog

87: Had sex?

Y E S

88: Bought condoms?

mhm

89: Gotten pregnant?

almost

90: Failed a class?

yes :)

91: Kissed a boy?

yes 

92: Kissed a girl?

yus

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

yes

94: Had job?

yes

95: Left the house without my wallet?

many times lmao

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

never

97: Had sex in public?

god no

98: Played on a sports team?

yes

99: Smoked weed?

yes 

100: Did drugs?

yes

101: Smoked cigarettes?

yes

102: Drank alcohol?

yes

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

V E G A N

104: Been overweight?

yes but currently trying to lose it!

105: Been underweight?

i used to be skinny...(used to be anorexic)

106: Been to a wedding?

yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

yes

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

yes

109: Been outside my home country?

yes

110: Gotten my heart broken?

many times

111: Been to a professional sports game?

yes

112: Broken a bone?

yes

113: Cut myself?

i still struggle with it..

114: Been to prom?

no

115: Been in airplane?

yes

116: Fly by helicopter?

yes

117: What concerts have I been to?

marianatrench, post malone, nickleback, miley cyrus, and justin bieber-

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yes

119: Learned another language?

yes

120: Wore make up?

still do

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

yes

122: Had oral sex?

yes

123: Dyed my hair?

many times

124: Voted in a presidential election?

yes

125: Rode in an ambulance?

yes

126: Had a surgery?

yes

127: Met someone famous?

yes

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

god no

129: Peed outside?

camping...

130: Been fishing?

love it

131: Helped with charity?

always

132: Been rejected by a crush?

yes

133: Broken a mirror?

yes

134: What do I want for birthday?

happinesss

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

i want atleast 4 or 6..

136: Was I named after anyone?

my grandfather(my dads dad) mother

137: Do I like my handwriting?

sure

138: What was my favourite toy as a child?

barbie

139: Favourite Tv Show?

IZombie and big mouth

140: Where do I want to live when older?

in the country.

141: Play any musical instrument?

piano and drums

142: One of my scars, how did I get it?

self-harm

143: Favourite pizza toping?

everything that isn’t meat

144: Am I afraid of the dark?

nah

145: Am I afraid of heights?

yes

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

when i was 12

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

yes

148: What I’m really bad at

not yelling

149: What my greatest achievments are

graduating treatment 

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

“hey, i fucked your dead brother last night” ( a bully said that to me )

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery

buy so many cane corsos

152: What do I like about myself

my personality 

153: My closest Tumblr friend

don’t have one

154: Something I fantasise about

a better life

155: Any question you’d like?

anything!

[master-thief-gray-shadow]

1-154 Answer everything you pussy

Fuck.

Name: Not telling.

Age: 20 going on 21

3 Fears: Dying young, being a general failure of a person, spiders

3 things I love: My cat, peanut butter, literally everything in Las Vegas

4 turns on: Futanari, femdom, girls with abs, animal ears/tails

4 turns off: Scat, vomit, ugly faceless guys, mindbreak

My best friend: My cat my right hand my buddy Adam, who I’ve known since first grade

Sexual orientation: Gay

My best first date: Haven’t had one ahaha

How tall am I: 5′2″

What do I miss: The blissful lack of awareness of how fucked up the world really is

What time were I born: Around 10 PM, I think

Favourite color: Silver

Do I have a crush: Yes, several

Favourite quote: “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

Favourite place: My room, probably

Favourite food: Roast beef sandwiches

Do I use sarcasm? Noooooo, I neeeever use sarcasm

What am I listening to right now? My brother watching YGOTAS in the next room

First thing I notice in new person: Hair, probably

Shoe size: Men’s 7

Eye color: Blue

Hair color: Brown

Favourite style of clothing: Loose and casual

Ever done a prank call?: Nah

Meaning behind my URL: Gray Shadow has been a handle I’ve had since middle school and I’ve never had the heart to change it. The Gray part comes from my name and the Shadow part is just adolescent edginess. The Master Thief part only came about when I found that Gray Shadow was taken.

Favourite movie: Star Wars

Favourite song: Either Cutie Panther or Anemone Heart

Favourite band: μ’s

How I feel right now: Kinda tired

Someone I love: My brother, honestly

My current relationship status: SIngle

My relationship with my parents: Pretty good, actually

Favourite holiday: Halloween

Tattoos and piercing i have: None

Tattoos and piercing i want: Some simple rings in my ears, and then maybe some tattoos of cats or dragons or something

The reason I joined Tumblr: Memes

Do I and my last ex hate each other? No because I don’t have one

Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? Sometimes

Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? No

When did I last hold hands? God, I don’t remember

How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 10 minutes

Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? No

Where am I right now? On my bed

If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? Not sure, but preferably a family member

Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Reasonable

Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Yes

Am I excited for anything? My birthday which is coming up next month

Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? My dad

How often do I wear a fake smile? Never. I smile for real or not at all.

When was the last time I hugged someone? Two days ago

What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? I would be happy for him because the kiss was an accident and my feelings for him are platonic

Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? I think there are more people I don’t trust even though I should

What is something I disliked about today? The fact that my internet was shitting itself during Nintendo’s E3 conference

If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Daisy Ridley

What do I think about most? Food, probably

What’s my strangest talent? I can put my legs behind my head like a pretzel

Do I have any strange phobias? Not really

Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind

What was the last lie I told? “No, I can’t work on Thursday”

Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Video chatting

Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I’m not sure about ghosts, but I definitely believe in aliens

Do I believe in magic? I wish I could, but I don’t

Do I believe in luck? Not particularly but I am mildly superstitious

What’s the weather like right now? Warm and clear

What was the last book I’ve read? Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes

Do I like the smell of gasoline? A little

Do I have any nicknames? Sometimes people call me G, and at least one person just calls me Gay

What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? Someone once accidentally cut open my hand with some scissors. Fifteen years later I still have the scar.

Do I spend money or save it? Save

Can I touch my nose with a tounge? Yes

Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? Yes, candy

Favourite animal? Cats

What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Getting ready to go to bed

What do I think is Satan’s last name is? I dunno. McDevildude?

What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Intensive Care Unit by Renard Queenston. It’s a song I associate with a simpler time in my life.

How can you win my heart? By putting up with my shitty, difficult personality

What would I want to be written on my tombstone? “Wait, I’m not done yet!”

What is my favorite word? Unfuck

My top 5 blogs on tumblr: I don’t think I have a top five, but my favorite blog, content-wise, is probably k64corruptions

If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? Stop being dicks to each other

Do I have any relatives in jail? Not that I know of

I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Illusions, probably

What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Are you a good friend?

What is my current desktop picture? μ’s in suits

Had sex? …

Bought condoms? No

Gotten pregnant? Hell no

Failed a class? No, but I’ve come close

Kissed a boy? Yes

Kissed a girl? No

Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? No

Had job? Yes

Left the house without my wallet? A few times, back when I first started carrying one around

Bullied someone on the internet? No

Had sex in public? No

Played on a sports team? No

Smoked weed? No

Did drugs? No

Smoked cigarettes? No

Drank alcohol? YES

Am I a vegetarian/vegan? No

Been overweight? No, but I’ve come close

Been underweight? No, but again, almost

Been to a wedding? Yes

Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Yes

Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Yes

Been outside my home country? Yes

Gotten my heart broken? No

Been to a professional sports game? Yes

Broken a bone? No

Cut myself? No

Been to prom? No

Been in airplane? Yes

Fly by helicopter? No

What concerts have I been to? I don’t go to concerts

Had a crush on someone of the same sex? I’m gay. What do you think the answer is?

Learned another language? No, but I want to

Wore make up? No

Lost my virginity before I was 18? No

Had oral sex? No

Dyed my hair? No

Voted in a presidential election? Yes

Rode in an ambulance? Yes

Had a surgery? No

Met someone famous? Yes, Micheal Shannon

Stalked someone on a social network? No

Peed outside? Yes

Been fishing? No

Helped with charity? No

Been rejected by a crush? No because I don’t confess to my crushes

Broken a mirror? Yes

What do I want for birthday? A Nintendo Switch, a brewing kit, and a bottle of expensive liquor

How many kids do I want and what will be their names? Ew I don’t want kids

Was I named after anyone? No, but I was almost named after my grandma Gladys. Almost makes me like the name I was given.

Do I like my handwriting? It’s legible and that’s what matters

What was my favourite toy as a child? A stuffed bear named Baby

Favourite Tv Show? Probably something on Travel Channel IDK

Where do I want to live when older? Somewhere up north. Or California.

Play any musical instrument? I used to play piano

One of my scars, how did I get it? I have a bunch of scars on my chest from when the family cat scratched me up when I was little

Favourite pizza toping? Bacon

Am I afraid of the dark? Only when it’s pitch black

Am I afraid of heights? They make me nervous but I wouldn’t say I’m afraid

Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Yes

Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Yes

What I’m really bad at: Getting things done

What my greatest achievments are: Winning a relay at camp once

The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: I don’t know, I’ve probably repressed it

What I’d do if I won in a lottery: Move into an apartment in a big city somewhere and buy a bunch of fancy electronic gadgets

What do I like about myself: Not much, honestly

My closest Tumblr friend: Either @nui-the-super-lesbian or @imgayandasinner

Something I fantasise about: Being successful and having a romantic partner who puts up with me

Any question you’d like? Fuck you what other things could you possibly want to know about me?

[argonapricot]

when you REBLOG IT do ALL OF THEM

1: Name - Julia

2: Age - the number of protons in an argon atom! My favorite element! That didn’t even occur to me until just now and I am delighted.

3: 3 Fears -

1. Plane crashes

2. Dementia

3. Bad things happening to pets

4: 3 things I love -

1. elves

2. Dvorak

3. making fun of you

5: 4 turns on

1. Linguistics

2. The end credit music from Attack of the Clones

3. Girls

4. Chord resolutions

6: 4 turns off

1. Sex

2. Existentialism

3. Depression

4. Logistical complications

7: My best friend - three of alex in a trenchcoat

8: Sexual orientation - homosexualism

9: My best first date - I’ve only had one! Unless you count Mackenzie Week which wow I sure don’t yikes

But yeah, the actual first date was cute af we were adorable and drenched

10: How tall am I - not tall enough

11: What do I miss - so much all the time, god. Having it be a normal and socially accessible activity to play pretend when you hang out with friends. Having a girlfriend, lol. Playing outside in the yard, my brother being a tiny little puffball. Being an impressive child. So many childhood things actually I’m an enormous sap. Not being depressed?

12: What time was I born - 7:02 in the evening, I think

13: Favorite color - poorple

14: Do I have a crush - um i have like 7 I’m bad at getting over people

15: Favorite quote - “the answer is six” - alex, that one time the answer wasn’t six

16: Favorite place - it’s a secret!

17: Favorite food - academic vigor

18: Do I use sarcasm - no of course not

19: What am I listening to right now - the clock trying to guilt me from across the room

20: First thing I notice in new person - whether or not they are painted green 

21: Shoe size - 9/12

22: Eye color - Brown! Maybe like ¼ hazel

23: Hair color - also brown! It gets lighter in the summer, the sun bleaches it a bit.

24: Favorite style of clothing - gay

25: Ever done a prank call? - I used to prank call Clarissa every time I called her in like middle school, but it was always super obvious that it was me I think

27: Meaning behind my URL - my favorite element, paired with a handy dandy alliteration fruit that I enjoy

28: Favorite movie - Alex making a fool of herself

jk it’s I guess Lord of the Rings but I’m honestly so bad with favorites especially movies

29: Favorite song - I’ve been listening to Hurt by Johnny Cash a LOT lately, for fictional angst purposes and also it’s just a really good song

30: Favorite band - the Grady Knights Philharmonic

31: How I feel right now - sad that I’m only on number 31

32: Someone I love - Lee Pope

33: My current relationship status - so single you don’t even know

34: My relationship with my parents - good! I have great parents they are great!

35: Favorite holiday - I’ve only actually been to a Tu b’shvat seder once, but it was so incredibly rad and it’s a good holiday I approve of it.

36: Tattoos and piercing i have - none

37: Tattoos and piercing i want - none?

38: The reason I joined Tumblr - to get in on that sweet pjo fandom action

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? nah bro @alphaj8de hi five

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - I exchange “goodnights” with someone if we end a conversation by going to bed?

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? - quite possibly!

42: When did I last hold hands? - I hold hands with Tolkien every day of my life

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - Depends on how slowly I get out of bed

44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days? - yeah

45: Where am I right now? - on a couch

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? - fanfiction, probably, since all of my good caring friends are Leaving me to go to Party College, or alternatively Very Far Away And Stupidly Cold Stupid College

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - I like my music neurotically soft

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - for the next like two months

49: Am I excited for anything? - college! Hannah’s lake house! garbage on the internet! 

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - I rarely tell Everything to anyone

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? - I suck at fake smiles, and can only maintain them (when called for) in three-second bursts

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? - I hugged Benjamin earlier today

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? - I would stand there like a tool.

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? - YEAH @cognitivelyagitated I can’t believe you took advantage of my eighth grade self like that and I can’t believe my eighth grade self was that stupid.

55: What is something I disliked about today? - Discord crashed and my online friend was not online.

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - *mumblemumble*

57: What do I think about most? - characters doing Things

58: What’s my strangest talent? - I have the power to make sleeping possums knit

59: Do I have any strange phobias? - macaroni and cheese, also certain noises that make me flip out and cringe

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - I can go both ways!

61: What was the last lie I told? - the answer to that sarcasm question

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - what is communication

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - I don’t devote a lot of energy into having opinions on ghosts or aliens one way or the other.

64: Do I believe in magic? - sometimes

65: Do I believe in luck? - I mean luck is just the concept that sometimes good things happen and sometimes they don’t? So yeah, the experimental probability of good things that happen is a thing.

66: What’s the weather like right now? - hot and humid

67: What was the last book I’ve read? - I’m in the middle of like four books right now, the last one I finished was I think A Conjuring Of Light? In the shades of magic trilogy, which was hype.

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? - no!

69: Do I have any nicknames? - julesliaia

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? - I broke my arm in seventh grade

71: Do I spend money or save it? - both!

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? - no

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? - there are some pink things visible on the screen where this is being typed?

74: Favorite animal? - I like all kinds of cats

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - watching Episode 3 of IDOL Drama Operation Team

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? - why would he have a last name

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - I can’t think of the best answer right now

78: How can you win my heart? - elf appreciation

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? - my name would be nice

80: What is my favorite word? - right now, sepulchral

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr - I don’t really rate tumblrs!

82:  If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - stop! being stupid! stop being mean! Help the planet and also other people! I don’t know

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? - no

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? - being able to sing well would be nice

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - are you spending your time responsibly?

86: What is my current desktop picture? - Yosemite

87: Had sex? - y

88: Bought condoms? - n

89: Gotten pregnant? - n

90: Failed a class? - n

91: Kissed a boy? - n

92: Kissed a girl? - y

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - I think so, yeah

94: Had job? - y

95: Left the house without my wallet? - y

96: Bullied someone on the internet? - n

97: Had sex in public? - nah that’s your gig

98: Played on a sports team? - I was a part of the Lucky Clovers soccer team in like 1st and 2nd grade

99: Smoked weed? - n

100: Did drugs? - n

101: Smoked cigarettes? - n

102: Drank alcohol? - some! on special occasions

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - n

104: Been overweight? - n

105: Been underweight? - n

106: Been to a wedding? - Yeah, a couple!

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? - ………..probably on some late nights, but that’s terrible and I feel ashamed and sad

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? - n

109: Been outside my home country? - twice! Once to Spain and once to Mexico

110: Gotten my heart broken? - There have been a couple instances of vague heart breakage idk

111: Been to a professional sports game? - during TIP camps, yes

112: Broken a bone? - y

114: Been to prom? - I was busy Killing It at Carnegie Hall

115: Been in airplane? - y

116: Fly by helicopter? - n

117: What concerts have I been to? - @queer-sighted took me to a Fall Out Boy concert two summers ago, which was lots of fun! I’ve been to a lot of ASO concerts that Mom gets tickets to for producing the show, and a bunch of other classical music occasions, and some concerts that I’ve played!

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? - yeah. like. a Lot.

119: Learned another language? - I learned some okay French

120: Wore make up? - y

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? - y but virginity is dumb

122: Had oral sex? - y

123: Dyed my hair? - n

124: Voted in a presidential election? - I was too young!

125: Rode in an ambulance? - n

126: Had a surgery? - yeah, on my foot in second grade

127: Met someone famous? - my crush met Selena Gomez does that count

128: Stalked someone on a social network? - only a tiny bit

129: Peed outside? - of course

130: Been fishing? - I’ve stood near some people who were fishing sometimes

131: Helped with charity? - I’ve worked on a lot of tikkun olam projects? And volunteered places? And donated tzeddakah? I don’t know what specifically constitutes charity.

132: Been rejected by a crush? - only very indirectly I have the forthcoming romantic initiative of a slug

133: Broken a mirror? - no

134: What do I want for birthday? - ummmm books and mamamoo I guess? Maybe a new tablet

[kdollmarie23]

Haven't done one of these in awhile

This could be fun or extremely sad 1: Name• keisha 2: Age • twenty freaking six 3: 3 Fears • spiders, car accident, heights 4: 3 things I love• animals, cosmetology, singing 5: 4 turns on• tattoos, androgyny, intelligence, manners, thighs. 6: 4 turns off• drugs, no sense of direction, mean, 7: My best friend• my cat and dog lol…. wow that sounds lame. 8: Sexual orientation• bisexual 9: My best first date• I’ll never tell 😽 10: How tall am I • 5'3" 11: What do I miss• free health insurance 12: What time was I born • midnight 13: Favorite color• green 14: Do I have a crush• yea 15: Favorite quote• idk 16: Favorite place• anywhere near the ocean 17: Favorite food• Thai 18: Do I use sarcasm• pretty much everything I say is sarcastic 19: What am I listening to right now• some weird ass movie on the tv. 20: First thing I notice in new person• their hair, what they’re wearing, and their smile. 21: Shoe size• 7 ½-8 22: Eye color• hazel brown/green lol 23: Hair color• right now it’s cool copper/ brown 24: Favorite style of clothing• feminine polished grunge 25: Ever done a prank call? Not since 8th grade 27: Meaning behind my URL• at one point I was loveable, and I also loved cupcakes 28: Favorite movie• dirty love and beaches 29: Favorite song• you’re not alone by Saosin 30: Favorite band• the used and knuckle puck 31: How I feel right now• mehhh 32: Someone I love• my girlfriend 33: My current relationship status• in a relationship 34: My relationship with my parents• complicated 35: Favorite holiday• Halloween 36: Tattoos and piercing i have• 7 tattoos, ear piercing and Monroe 37: Tattoos and piercing i want• nipples and lighthouse haha 38: The reason I joined Tumblr• to keep in touch Jainna, and find cool pictures for my myspace that no one else had back in middle school 😹 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I don’t hate her. 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? Yea, my gf gets up way earlier than me and texts me “good morning” around the time I wake up. Haha it’s cute. 41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? That would be my boss, and heck no. 42: When did I last hold hands? I few minutes ago ❤ 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? It feels like it takes for freaking ever, I need a good 2-3 hours or else I look like a monster. 44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? Surprisingly yes! Although I wish I hadn’t because it’s fucking cold out. 45: Where am I right now? In my living room. 46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? I would be home and in bed If that were the case. I don’t trust anyone lol 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Loud 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Neither since I was 15. 49: Am I excited for anything? I’m excited for the two news jobs I just started. I am now a freaking talent director for a modelingagency lol and back to doing hair! 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? No 51: How often do I wear a fake smile? Pretty much every day if I’m working hahaha 52: When was the last time I hugged someone? Today 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? I unfortunately wouldn’t be shocked at this point. 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? Yes 55: What is something I disliked about today? I had a good day today. 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Uhmm… I’d like to meet a pleiadian in human form, if they don’t exist, then I’d like to meet Britney Spears lol 57: What do I think about most? Lately my career path, family, and making my relationship work. 58: What’s my strangest talent? I can sing and do the splits! Hahaha is that strange enough? 59: Do I have any strange phobias? Fucking spiders…. ugh…. 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Both 61: What was the last lie I told? I have no idea, prolly that I wasn’t hungry or some shit lol 62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Video chatting is becoming a lot more fun, but phone if my hair isn’t done. 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Ghosts idk, aliens yes 64: Do I believe in magic? What kind? 65: Do I believe in luck? Idk I just broke a mirror so….. 66: What’s the weather like right now? Cold as fuck in march 67: What was the last book I’ve read? #GIRLBOSS 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? Not really 69: Do I have any nicknames? Kiwi 70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? I have never really been injured by anything…. oh, actually, Dorothy from my 5th class kicked me in the shin while playing soccer in gym class and that felt awful…. like thinking back I can still feel it. Ouch. 71: Do I spend money or save it? I freaking LOVE spending money, but I know I need to save it because I’m an adult and I need to be responsible. 72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? Just tried, nope. 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? Oh yea 74: Favorite animal? Cats 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Going over notes for my new job 76: What do I think Satan’s last name is? Uhm idk 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? I believe by nicko vega 78: How can you win my heart? I don’t have one anymore 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? I don’t know, always laugh or some shit 80: What is my favorite word? Namaste 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr? There is more to Tumblr than just my page and my newsfeed???!! Lol 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? Everyone should stop eating like shit because processed foods cause cancer and you need more veggies so go try some! 83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Idk 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Wow what timing, I would be able to go invisible 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? If I was attracted to them lol 86: What is my current desktop picture? My pets 87: Had sex? Well of course 88: Bought condoms? Yea, practicing safe sex is important. 89: Gotten pregnant? No 90: Failed a class? College class 91: Kissed a boy? Yeah 92: Kissed a girl? Yes yes yes, finally 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Ya❤❤❤ 94: Had job? Yep 95: Left the house without my wallet? Prolly 96: Bullied someone on the internet? Lol yes 😞 sorry bout that 97: Had sex in public? Haha yea 98: Played on a sports team? Yes I was terrible 99: Smoked weed? Yea 100: Did drugs? No 101: Smoked cigarettes? Yes, I just quit yesterday 102: Drank alcohol? Yes 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Multiple times, I love steak and burgers too much 104: Been overweight? I think I am now 105: Been underweight? Nope, I wish 106: Been to a wedding? Yes, I love weddings 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Today 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Yes 109: Been outside my home country?Do the Bahamas count? 110: Gotten my heart broken? Unfortunately so 111: Been to a professional sports game?Like a legit football and hockey game, yes 112: Broken a bone? No 113: Cut myself?Ya 114: Been to prom? I actually went to 4 proms, 3 with the same guy and my senior prom with someone else 😸 I love dressing up. 115: Been in airplane?Yaaaaasssss 116: Fly by helicopter?No, but I've had sex in one .... secret never have I ever question! 117: What concerts have I been to?Omg sooo many! I love concerts 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Oh yea 119: Learned another language?In the process 120: Wore make up?Everyday 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? 16 lol 122: Had oral sex? I mean yea 123: Dyed my hair?Si 124: Voted in a presidential election?I did! I voted for Gary Johnson because there is no way in hell I was voting for Trump or Hillary 125: Rode in an ambulance?When I was six 126: Had a surgery?Tonsils removed 127: Met someone famous?Some band members and Delilah in NYC!!!! 128: Stalked someone on a social network?My secret crush 129: Peed outside?Only when I was camping or wasted 130: Been fishing? Yea, i suck at this, and deep sea fishing almost killed me.... I just like to lay out and tan and enjoy the scenery 131: Helped with charity?Yes, cuts for a cause and habitat for humanity 132: Been rejected by a crush? Yea, maybe I'm a weirdo, but now I have a gf so who cares 133: Broken a mirror? Yea I literally just broke one this week, and my week has been going great since, not gonna lie! 134: What do I want for birthday? A new car

[shadowinacorner]

Bored, so why not!

Lets see if I can answer these. 1: Name Mandy

2: Age 26

3: 3 Fears Spiders Burning alive Bungee jumping

4: 3 things I love Food Accomplishing something productive Sleep

5: 4 turns on Assertiveness Kindness Sense of humor Forwardness

6: 4 turns off Rudeness Narcissism Bad habits Excessive negativity

7: My best friend My buddy Allison

8: Sexual orientation Not big on labels. Bi I guess is a good umbrella term.

9: My best first date Winter formal in ‘05

10: How tall am I I’d say 5'10. I think I technically have been deemed to be 5'7 though.

11: What do I miss Being taken care of as a kid.

12: What time was I born 9am ish I think?

13: Favourite color Purple or black

14: Do I have a crush He’s pretty cute

15: Favourite quote The bird on your shoulder quote from tuesdays with maurie

16: Favourite place My living room (don’t you judge me)

17: Favourite food Pizza

18: Do I use sarcasm Never, who would do such a thing?

19: What am I listening to right now Assasination Classroom

20: First thing I notice in new person Jewelry

21: Shoe size 10.5/11 womens or 9 mens

22: Eye color Brown

23: Hair color Brown. I change it alot and right now it’s got some pink.

24: Favourite style of clothing Modern kinda urbany or punky I guess?

25: Ever done a prank call? Nah. Not my style.

27: Meaning behind my URL Nothing deep

28: Favourite movie Harry Potter I guess

29: Favourite song To the moon and back by Savage Garden

30: Favourite band I couldn’t tell you honestly. I like too many.

31: How I feel right now Tired and unaccomplished

32: Someone I love Mr. Leo Bunny

33: My current relationship status Married

34: My relationship with my parents Strained and unconventional

35: Favourite holiday Christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing i have I have 2 piercings in each ear and 1 cartilage. Also a small tattoo on my upper back.

37: Tattoos and piercing i want I always wanted a eyebrow piercing and the really dainty bullrings are cool. I’d also love to have full sleeves of tattoos but I’ll probably never get another of either.

38: The reason I joined Tumblr My hubby got obsessed with it.

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? Nah, he’s a cool dude and finally forgave me for being a terrible child when I was with him.

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? Definitely always get good morning ones since we get up at different times.

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Definitely not. Keagan is probably onr of the few I haven’t actually.

42: When did I last hold hands? Last time Marku and I went to the store I’m sure.

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? No makeup: 5 minutes from bed to car. With basic full makeup a solid half hour. With going out makeup and clothes like 2 hours.

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? Yes! Actually.

45: Where am I right now? Laying in Marku’s bed

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? Definitely Marku. He usually camps in the bathtub and sets me up on the floor by the toilet.

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Too loud. Always.

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Nopppeeeeee

49: Am I excited for anything? Someday we’re going to travel!

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? Definitely Marku.

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? Everyyyy dayyyyy. Customer service at it’s finest.

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? Earlier today I hugged Keagan, Angie, AND Mark. So many hugs!

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? He might have some ‘splanin to do

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? Hmm, yeah probably a couple family members.

55: What is something I disliked about today? I woke up late and didn’t accomplish much

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? I have no idea… maybe bernie?

57: What do I think about most? What I’m doing wrong

58: What’s my strangest talent? Noticing small details (but only when I’m trying. Otherwise I’m oblivious to my surroundings)

59: Do I have any strange phobias? Chalkboards. They freak me out and I can’t touch them.

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind!!!

61: What was the last lie I told? “You don’t have to do that, I can pay for it”

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Neither. But phone if it’s between the too.

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I half believe in ghosts, aliens seem probable but not little green guys.

64: Do I believe in magic? I wishhhhhhh

65: Do I believe in luck? Kinda actually.

66: What’s the weather like right now? Kinda nice actually! Wet but mild.

67: What was the last book I’ve read? Kane chronicals

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? Mildly

69: Do I have any nicknames? Mandoo

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? I accidentally cut a large chunk out of my ankle when i was a teenager… otherwise no broken bones or anything.

71: Do I spend money or save it? I have a spending problem.

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? No :(

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? My pj pants

74: Favourite animal? Kitties!

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Playing on my phone and watching netflix

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? I think Satan /is/ his last name lol

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Uh… something pop-y I’m sure.

78: How can you win my heart? Food.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? That I was super nice!

80: What is my favorite word? Totes

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr That I posted? None. I have like no followers that aren’t porn bots.

82: If the whole world was listening to me right now, what would I say? Let’s just all get along

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Not currently

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Shapeshifting

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Depends on who is asking it.

86: What is my current desktop picture? The inside of a midevilish zeldaish tent with a woman lying in the bed.

87: Had sex? Yeap

88: Bought condoms? Yeah. Still awkward no matter how old you get for some reason.

89: Gotten pregnant? Nope

90: Failed a class? Yeah

91: Kissed a boy? A few

92: Kissed a girl? A few

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Not dramatically

94: Had job? For years

95: Left the house without my wallet? Just yesterday

96: Bullied someone on the internet? Nah, not my jam.

97: Had sex in public? Nah

98: Played on a sports team? Plenty of them

99: Smoked weed? Nope, not on my list

100: Did drugs? Never have, never will

101: Smoked cigarettes? Nope, terrible habbit

102: Drank alcohol? On occasion

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Not anymore

104: Been overweight? I am morbidly obese technically atm

105: Been underweight? Once

106: Been to a wedding? A few

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Jesus, is that suppose to be a long time?

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Every weekend

109: Been outside my home country? Nope

110: Gotten my heart broken? Once

111: Been to a professional sports game? Big leagues, no. Minor, yea.

112: Broken a bone? Nope

113: Cut myself? Yea

114: Been to prom? Yeap, twice

115: Been in airplane? Twice

116: Fly by helicopter? Once

117: What concerts have I been to? Hinder, buckcherry, paproach, death cab for cutie

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Yea

119: Learned another language? Started japanese, never went very far

120: Wore make up? Pretty normally

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? At 18 I think

122: Had oral sex? Yea

123: Dyed my hair? Alot

124: Voted in a presidential election? Every year

125: Rode in an ambulance? Sat in one, refused the ride

126: Had a surgery? Just wisdom teeth

127: Met someone famous? Voice actors, and there was a famous guy staying at our wedding hotel that I rode the elevator with. I always forget his name.

128: Stalked someone on a social network? Mildly

129: Peed outside? Ya, camping

130: Been fishing? Mmhm

131: Helped with charity? I actually don’t think so. I’ve donated before.

132: Been rejected by a crush? Never got myself to be in the position to be rejected

133: Broken a mirror? Yeahhh

134: What do I want for your birthday? Yummy food

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? 1-3 & no clue

136: Was I named after anyone? A barry manilow song

137: Do I like my handwriting? No i hate it

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? Barbies

139: Favourite Tv Show? I don’t have any active shows atm

140: Where do I want to live when older? Back in my family home

141: Play any musical instrument? I’m not musically inclined in any way

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? Have an L on my finger from slaming and locking my finger in the car door as a kid. I was stuck there for a while.

143: Favourite pizza toping? Sausage

144: Am I afraid of the dark? Nah

145: Am I afraid of heights? A little

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Nope

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Plentybof times

148: What I’m really bad at Doing anything consistently

149: What my greatest achievments are Graduating college

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me There would be a list.

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery Buy out my family home, remodel, set up my inlaws and grandma for life, get a working car, change jobs, and if I had enough I’d set up my parents and college funds too.

152: What do I like about myself My hair

153: My closest Tumblr friend I have some of my best friends irl on here

154: Something I fantasise about Being a normal person

This is way too long. I’m not tagging anyone and bringing this onto them. Yeesh.

[tinselt-blog]

Hey There Delilah

So, that show came back with a second season and it’s a show I feel like I don’t have to address the name of, mainly because it doesn’t deserve the credit. I don’t remember what I’ve talked about and what I haven’t talked about- but now felt like a good time to tell this story as it is the first time I think I can fully comprehend the situation. My best friend killed herself almost 3 years ago now and I felt responsible for a large part of those 3 years. The day I had gotten the call, I was informed the suicide note listed names for being her reason why, and at the time I was a minor, so the note was never something I could view. On my 18th birthday, I was emailed a link of it, which I deleted. I didn’t want to know if I was on the list, because would it really bring relief to know I wasn’t or what would I do to myself is I was.

To understand this story, I’m going to make myself vulnerable and literally tell the world (if they so choose to read this), my deepest darkest secret. At one point, I was afraid of the backlash and being ridiculed, but it took so many years to realize it doesn’t matter. The last year my friend was alive, let’s call her Delilah, she was all over the place. I know that can mean a number of things, but the way I mean it is, she was Delilah and then she wasn’t. Something happened that year and she basically snapped. Delilah had been in and out of treatment for a few years, but never lost herself in those moments. Then suddenly it was like the whole world was involved into this collective of trying to understand her. It all started one weekend, a weekend I had spent with her and her boyfriend. I saw nothing odd, I had spent all weekend with her and then we went home. The next day I get a text from her begging to come over and at the time I was out, so I quickly ended my plans and was like yes of course. She never came and I sent back a message asking how she was. She replied hours later just to say her boyfriend had come over and she was fine now and I trusted that she was being truthful. She wasn’t even home when she sent the message, she had run away to another state. I found out the next day when the police called to ask a few questions and having police officers in my family, urged them to send out some sort of alert early because I got a strange feeling. In the meantime, I’m texting her, telling her that whoever she’s meeting up with just isn’t a good person. Basically, she had a mental breakdown that resulted from another person bullying her and she didn’t know how to act so she panicked.

A couple months go by and her behavior is very odd, she seems almost like a zombie. There is no emotion coming from her and when she’s ‘passionate’ about something, she’s not. I can tell you this looking back, but at the time I just didn’t see the signs. We were supposed to go camping that summer and I ended up cancelling the reservations because I didn’t know how stable she was, and I was honest with her about that- because I cared about her. Instead I substituted a lot of time to being with her and it felt like she was maybe getting better. During this time, she had turned 18 and decided to stop taking her meds at her own will. I went into her room and saw 2 and a half bottles of anti-depressants and mentioned it in passing conversation with her mom. At that point, Delilah was I guess old enough to make her own decisions. Her mom, a very kind, loving, devoted, hard working mom said she was thankful for mentioning it and beyond that it was out of my control.

I never had a single fight with Delilah, until this one day. It was over something so stupid, just her forgetting I was coming over and leaving me locked out- twice in one day. I was upset and decided to talk to her and that when things kind of happened. She mentioned wanting to die everyday and that she felt as though nobody cared about her and that if she were to die, she hoped I’d feel responsible. Ignorance got the better of me, because let’s be real, in a big fight we’d all say things like that. Nobody would actually go as far as to kill themselves, right? Anyways, we made up and I spent a few more days with her before I had to leave for a trip. We were fine again, but something was different. The last night we hung out, she was like “Don’t you want to take your extra clothes home?” and I had spent almost every night there mind you and just left a change of clothes. I told her I was too tired, and I would do it tomorrow and left by saying the words “Bye bitch, see you tomorrow.” Tomorrow came and turns out my work had this random pop up event they told nobody about and so I had to stay late. I sent Delilah a message and said I wasn’t going to be able to make it and I would only be away that weekend for one night. I could feel she was sad and at the time there was nothing I could do.

I went on my trip and noticed she stopped texting the day I was coming home. I had a feeling about it and texted a mutual friend of our who said she thought she ran away again but had an odd feeling she wouldn’t be coming back. I remembered the conversation of suicide from a few days before and was like, no that could never happen. I get home and two hours later, I decide to go for a walk with my dog. As I’m leaving, the phone rings and mind you it’s late. I go anyways and I come back to see my dad standing on the porch pacing and I’m like, huh, that’s odd. But then, my mom comes out behind him and I just knew. I was screaming so much that my dad carried me in. The rest of that night was a blur.

Next day, I get the confirmation on how she died and that there was a note. Mutual friend mentioned, let’s call her Beth and the other mutual friend, Linda both start fighting. All of us are just fighting. They were aware of the note, even though they HADN’T read it and the fight. They came to the conclusion that I was probably one of the names. I don’t talk to them anymore, I don’t plan on keeping a relationship with them, because no matter how many times they say they regret it now, they continue to say that if I had been a better friend maybe she wouldn’t be dead. My friends, also told the priest that she had not good people and I even got yelled at. Delilah’s mom however hugged me and told me I was good, having read the letter. At one point in my life, I never saw how she was fine with me and how my friends weren’t as meaning anything.

I became very, very, very sick as a result of everything. You hear stories of PTSD and think only soldiers can get it and then you yourself gets it. It started the night of the funeral. The wake, was messy and something I should have thought about more. I wanted to be there until the casket closed and that was maybe not a great idea. Her body came a week and a half later and it had already showed signs of decay. It also showed how she died and it hit me that this was real when I peered down and saw a girl with blue lips looking back at me. Her mom, was a wreck and hugging me and holding her dead girl in her arms. At some point Beth, Linda and I were all together and her mom pulled out 4 pink bracelets with elephants. She bought them at some spiritual shop that said they connect us as family if we wear them. She wanted one of us to put one on her girl. Beth and Linda quickly grabbed the bracelets and backed away and there I was holding a dead girls black, cold fingers in my hands slipping a 50 cent bracelet on to her wrist. Then the casket had to be closed and I watched as her mom nearly toppled the casket trying to hold her little girl in her arms again one last time before she would never see her again.

I named her Delilah after my bizarre way of coping. For those of you who do not know, PTSD begins with a lot of visual perception, we’ll call them. Meaning that sometimes I would see a little girl that looked like her and as a way to make it less a fear, I named her Delilah. I haven’t seen her in a few years, for the best I am sure because it means I’m healing- but listen- I chose not to read a letter that would ultimately break me somehow. I will never know why she killed herself and I’m ok with that. When I watch this show I see my biggest fear on a tv screen and while yes I chose to watch it and I am ok with watching it, young influential people also do the same. I am 20 and old enough to understand- but I am still pretty fucked up. I lost a lot of people because once upon a time I was cool headed and now my emotions are all over the place because I feel like I have to explain myself or apologize a million times because what if it happens again. I cannot imagine for the life of me what I would feel if I was a reason. I cannot imagine what the kids in the copycat scenarios feel like. The show knows a piece of what it feels like to loose someone to suicide, not the whole story.

[maxinaptak]

This could be fun or extremely sad

1: Name: Still leaving it Maxina Ptak. But my real name starts with a B.

2: Age: Just turned 18.

3: 3 Fears: Spiders, being alone, the ocean..

4: 3 things I love: Kpop, anime, music.

5: 4 turns on: Neck kisses, light dirty talk, praise, romance/love/passion.

6: 4 turns off: Humiliation/degradation, more than light pain, age play, extreme dirty talk.

7: My best friend: My girl @rubyjewelkpop

8: Sexual orientation: Pansexual

9: My best first date: The only date I've ever had.

10: How tall am I: 5′3

11: What do I miss: Being the weight I was a year ago.

12: What time were I born: 3:35 pm I think.

13: Favorite color: Silver

14: Do I have a crush: Yes.

15: Favorite quote: Life is’t about waiting for the storm to pass; it’s about learning to dance in the rain.

16: Favorite place: Wherever my family is.

17: Favorite food: Pasta.

18: Do I use sarcasm: No, not at all. Of fucking course I do.

19: What am I listening to right now: Whisper by VIXX LR

20: First thing I notice in new person: Personality

21: Shoe size: 7

22: Eye color: Blue.

23: Hair color: Dyed black.

24: Favorite style of clothing: Cute but comfortable.

25: Ever done a prank call?: A few times when I was younger.

27: Meaning behind my URL: The name I use for my OC.

28: Favorite movie: Enemies in Law

29: Favorite song: Whisper by VIXX LR

30: Favorite band: VIXX

31: How I feel right now: Tired.

32: Someone I love: My best friend.

33: My current relationship status: Single. As. Fuck.

34: My relationship with my parents: Pretty good.

35: Favorite holiday: Halloween.

36: Tattoos and piercing I have: EKG Semicolon tattoo on left wrist, pierced ears.

37: Tattoos and piercing I want: A LOT of tattoos, cartilage, nose, and navel piercing.

38: The reason I joined Tumblr: Cause it’s fun as hell.

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?: Don’t know bout him, but I don’t really like him rn

40: Do I ever get good morning or good night texts?: Sometimes from my mom since I don’t live with her any more.

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?: My step-mom, probably not.

42: When did I last hold hands?: Does my baby brother count? If not, months ago.

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?: Depends on how much I care about how I look that day.

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?: Pfft, fuck no. I ain’t leaving my house in a dress or skirt anytime soon.

45: Where am I right now?: My living room.

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?: Probably no one.

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?: Depends on my mood.

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?: My parents are divorced, used to live with my mom, now live with my dad.

49: Am I excited for anything?: Not really.

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?: Not really.

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?: Most of the time.

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?: Today.

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?: I don’t give a shit what he does.

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?: Not anymore.

55: What is something I disliked about today?: I hardly ate anything.

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?: Jung Taekwoon from VIXX.

57: What do I think about most?: Probably VIXX tbh.

58: What’s my strangest talent?: Loosing friends quicker than a fart comes out of a lubed up asshole. 

59: Do I have any strange phobias?: I don’t think it’s that strange, but not being able to move.

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?: Both.

61: What was the last lie I told?: Honestly, I don’t remember.

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?: Um, neither, but I guess on the phone.

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?: Fuck yes. Maybe.

64: Do I believe in magic?: Yes.

65: Do I believe in luck?: Yes.

66: What's the weather like right now?: Cloudy.

67: What was the last book I've read?: I think it was Teardrop.

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?: Kind of.

69: Do I have any nicknames?: Butterfly, Monkey Panda.

70: What was the worst injury I've ever had?: Cut by a sharp knife between my left thumb and index finger.

71: Do I spend money or save it?: Both. But mostly spend it.

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?: No.

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?: Yes.

74: Favorite animal?: Wolf

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?: Sleeping for once.

76: What do I think is Satans last name is?: Hell...Fire?

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?: G.R.8.U. by VIXX.

78: How can you win my heart?: Accept my faults, make me laugh, give me food.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?: Damn, she actually made it that long.

80: What is my favorite word?: Fuck.

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr: Honestly don’t know.

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?: Someone please love me.

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?: My cousin might be.

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?: Honestly, I don’t want a super power any more.

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?: Why don’t you have any friends?

86: What is my current desktop picture?: A picture of VIXX.

87: Had sex?: No.

88: Bought condoms?: No.

89: Gotten pregnant?: No.

90: Failed a class?: Yep. Pre-calc. Fuck that shit.

91: Kissed a boy?: Yes.

92: Kissed a girl?: Yes.

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?: No.

94: Had job?: Yes.

95: Left the house without my wallet?: Yep.

96: Bullied someone on the internet?: Hell no.

97: Had sex in public?: No.

98: Played on a sports team?: Yes.

99: Smoked weed?: I'm a huge stoner dude.

100: Did drugs?: Just weed.

101: Smoked cigarettes?: Once.

102: Drank alcohol?: A few times.

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?: Hell no.

104: Been overweight?: I feel like I am now...

105: Been underweight?: Probably.

106: Been to a wedding?: Yes.

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?: Yep.

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?: Every day probably.  

109: Been outside my home country?: No.

110: Gotten my heart broken?: Several times.

111: Been to a professional sports game?: I don’t think so.

112: Broken a bone?: Yes.

113: Cut myself?: Yes.

114: Been to prom?: Yes and it was terrible.

115: Been in airplane?: Yes.

116: Fly by helicopter?: No.

117: What concerts have I been to?: A few.

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?: Yes.

119: Learned another language?: Not yet.

120: Wore make up?: Yep.

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?: Nope.

122: Had oral sex?: Yeah, but he was tiny af so it wasn’t that bad.

123: Dyed my hair?: All the time.

124: Voted in a presidential election?: Not yet.

125: Rode in an ambulance?: Nope.

126: Had a surgery?: No.

127: Met someone famous?: Yes.

128: Stalked someone on a social network?: Who hasn’t?

129: Peed outside?: Yes, when I was camping.

130: Been fishing?: Yes.

131: Helped with charity?: Yes.

132: Been rejected by a crush?: Almost every time I decide to go for it.

133: Broken a mirror?: Probably.

134: What do I want for birthday?: A DSLR camera.

[nxctvrnaltrippyhippie-blog]

Getting to know some of me

1: Name: Danny 2: Age: 19 3: 3 Fears: Lonliness, Death, Waste 4: 3 things I love: Adventures, Food, Doggiess 5: 4 turns on: Talkative, Compassionate, Different 6: 4 turns off: Close minded, Two-Faced, Selfish 7: My best friend: No one.. 8: Sexual orientation: Tbh, I only fall in love with woman but the pleasure of what a man holds for some reason turns me on 😞 but once it happens at the end i feel disgusted and dont even wanna look at him .-. Nor fall in love. The desire pops up but to love a guy no.. sounds weird but trust, it even confuses me.. 9: My best first date: Honestly wish someone would ask ME out for once ;-; it would be the best just having someone ask me o": 10: How tall am I: 5'1 ;-; 11: What do I miss: Enjoying life 12: What time were I born: What is this 13: Favorite color: Omg 14: Do I have a crush: Yeah.. i guess.. its weird..😞 15: Favorite quote: not sure atm 16: Favorite place: my beddddd or in cuddles 17: Favorite food: ITALIAN 18: Do I use sarcasm: No i rather speak to people in precise terms when they ask “what” to a dumb question. Jk, hell yeah im sarcastic. 19: What am I listening to right now: Empty Camps by Cemeteries 20: First thing I notice in new person: Personality or Smile. 21: Shoe size: 7 22: Eye color: Brown 23: Hair color: Black 24: Favorite style of clothing: My own kind of style 😋 25: Ever done a prank call? Yes 😑 27: Meaning behind my URL: I like psychedelics and weed and i love to love, plus i dont sleep 😂 28: Favorite movie: I dont really watch movies tbh 29: Favorite song: Luna of Claiming 30: Favorite band: Circa Survive 31: How I feel right now: Crazy 32: Someone I love: My dog ;-; 33: My current relationship status: She isn’t my gf and she is straight.. i am in love with her i guess…. i guess.. but she does not feel the same.. but she wouldn’t like it if i saw other people.. 😞im so dumb but its really confusing. 34: My relationship with my parents: My dad was abusive and me and my mom are alright, just not close like some moms and daughters are lol. Its weird. 35: Favorite holiday: Does the Fall count 36: Tattoos and piercing i have: Tattoo on my neck of 3 purple moons, Gages, and i have my mouth and nose pierced many times but i fucked them up or school in the past (bitchass dresscode) 😭 37: Tattoos and piercing i want: Split tongue, eyebrow, cheekbones, Chest piece idea i had since 8th grade, moon and sun on my arms with falling stars ending the shoulders, sunflower on my leg with an eye, many ideas tbh 😂 38: The reason I joined Tumblr: Stop posting my feelings and personal thoughts and agreements on other media with friends who just see me as a depressed whiney little baby so now they think im better cuz i stopped expressing to them how i feel ((: now they complain i dont talk and i need to.. too late. Thought i could trust them and that i would never be a burden how they arent for me .. i was wrong and for that here i am. But god i do love tumblr and i dont regrer it. 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? Yes.. she doesn’t care about me and never did. How she ended it showed that evil shit i didnt want to see. Now idk.. 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? From lucero sometimes.. 41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Yeah. 42: When did I last hold hands? I dont know 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? Just to get ready i could get ready in like 5 minutes but if i have all morning ill spend it all changing outfits till my whole closet is rampaged 😭 44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? Not in MONTHS 😂 45: Where am I right now? My bed 46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? Lucero..? My mom..? 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? LOOOOUUUUD 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Mom and stepdad 49: Am I excited for anything? I guess art if i make it 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? No XD aint no dude wanna hear about my feelings unless he likes me lmfao 51: How often do I wear a fake smile? Everyday /: 52: When was the last time I hugged someone? Idk 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? Idk… it would break me.. but i should have seen it coming if it did .. 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? No.. idk.. 55: What is something I disliked about today? Everything.. 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? My love. 57: What do I think about most? Being happy 58: What’s my strangest talent? I honestly don’t know lol 59: Do I have any strange phobias? Bugs bugs bugs ugh i reeeeallly hate bugs 😭 im scared a camera watches me idk if thats a phobia. 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Either or 61: What was the last lie I told? Im doing good c: 62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Video chatting maybe idk maybe a call tbh idk ill freak out unless i known you foreverrrrr i csnt talk on the phone with anybody tbh. Or even talk idk Dx 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? YESSS 64: Do I believe in magic? YESSS 65: Do I believe in luck? Sometimes 66: What’s the weather like right now? HOTTER THAN SATANS BALLS IN CALI 67: What was the last book I’ve read? Milk and Honey 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? Yesss /.0 69: Do I have any nicknames? Le Dan Dan, Dannehhhh, Mac Daddy Danny, Nena 70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? Brain 😂 71: Do I spend money or save it? SPEND 😭🔫 72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? Nah ): 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? No 0.0 74: Favorite animal? PUPPERRRRS 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? I don’t remember 76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? Satan Natas 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Capital Cities Safe and Sound 😂 78: How can you win my heart? Be there for me, take me on adventures, love me when i cant and let me love you when you feel you can’t.. be crazy wildin with me lmao. Patience with me. 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? Idk ): 80: What is my favorite word? “Nah” 😂 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr: idunno ;^; 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? Treat me the same way i treat you, and we will see. 83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Not that i know of 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Self-trip on my own without needing tabs 😂 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? How do you feel 86: What is my current desktop picture? Ganja girl animation. 87: Had sex? Yes 88: Bought condoms? Yes 89: Gotten pregnant? Noooooo 90: Failed a class? Many 91: Kissed a boy? Yes 92: Kissed a girl? Yessssssss 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Yes 😭 94: Had job? Yommmp 95: Left the house without my wallet? Many times 96: Bullied someone on the internet? Fuck no .-. 97: Had sex in public? Yes 😂 98: Played on a sports team? No 99: Smoked weed? ALL DAYY ERRDAYY 100: Did drugs? Why yes 101: Smoked cigarettes? Still do 102: Drank alcohol? Once in a while 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? MEAT LOVERRRR, Althought respect for vegetarians/vegans 104: Been overweight? Yeah. 105: Been underweight? Idk lol 106: Been to a wedding? Noo e.e 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Maybe 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? No 109: Been outside my home country? Once but mexico =.= 110: Gotten my heart broken? Yeah 111: Been to a professional sports game? Yeah i think 112: Broken a bone? Helll nooo 113: Cut myself? Yeah 114: Been to prom? Lol no i didnt go 115: Been in airplane? Fuuuuuuck noo 116: Fly by helicopter? I wishh 117: What concerts have I been to? Too anxious to attend one 😞 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Of course 😂 119: Learned another language? Yeee 120: Wore make up? Yes 😑 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? Yeah ); 122: Had oral sex? Yepppp 123: Dyed my hair? Hellll yeeee 124: Voted in a presidential election? Yomp 125: Rode in an ambulance? Many times 126: Had a surgery? Nopee 127: Met someone famous? Nopee 128: Stalked someone on a social network? Yeah xDDx 129: Peed outside? No e.e 130: Been fishing? No ;-; 131: Helped with charity? I am charity jk 132: Been rejected by a crush? Yeahh once xD 133: Broken a mirror? Yes ._. 134: What do I want for birthday? Loveeee Send me some? <3