#it looks like there's a weird alien thing painted on it

[waffled0g]

Everyone gets “The 90s” look wrong and I hate it

Couple years ago I saw these two board games at the store back to back. Well, not saw them per se, but ya know. Spied them out of the corner of my eye. And for a moment without reading the text, I couldn’t tell you which was which decade at first. Funny. Either they were in a rush to get these out the door or they wanted their throwback trivia game boxes to look uniform. I didn’t think too much of it.

Only, from then on I started seeing it MORE. Every time someone markets a 90s or 80s throwback...

Goddammit they’re identical! What??! How did we let this happen? As a 90s survivor and a designer, this drives me up a wall.

Look, I know I’m late to the party to complain about “the 90s look” when we’re just starting to get sick of the Y2K nostalgia train. But c’mon, the 90s were not The 80s: Part Two™ 

Trust me when I say that we weren’t all wearing neon trapezoids up until the year 2000. The 90s look being peddled is so specific to the tail end of the 80s and an early early part of the 90s - a part of the 90s when it wouldn’t stop being the 80s. This is Memphis design being conflated with the wrong decade.

Keep reading for a long ass graphic design history lesson and pictures of old soda and fast food.

Specifically, the look is Memphis Milano, self-named by the Italian design house Memphis Group. Starting in the early to mid 80s, they made all sorts of furniture, fabrics and sculptures that were like a Piet Mondrian grid painting under heavy radiation. Their whole deal was defying the standards of existing industrial design up to that point on purpose. Chairs had weird arches, bookcases would be in strange alien colors, unusual materials like plastic or elastic were used in place of metal or wood, that sorta thing.

Memphis quickly became the signature look for the decade. You can tell something’s influenced by Memphis design from it’s telltale trademarks:

Clashing, neon colors.

Use of diametric shapes.

Contrasting patterns like zebra print stripes, confetti squiggles and checkerboards.

It wasn’t long before Memphis Milano-inspired design was everywhere in 80s pop culture:

It was a special time, yes.

I was a kindergartener at the tail end of the 80s, so I knew Memphis mostly through the lens of kids media. Toys, clothes, games, tv shows used it like candy colored catnip. Cable channel Nickelodeon more or less adopted the Memphis aesthetic as their signature in-house style and practically built a monument to it at a Florida theme park:

I think this is why folks mistake what decade Memphis is representative of - 90s staples like Nick, Saved By The Bell, Fresh Prince - they all stayed around much longer than the design trend’s expiration date. 

Couple that notion with the fact that companies are slow followers to design trends. Something gets popular and they want to get on the bandwagon? Gotta wait for the ink to dry, gotta wait for the production molds to be made. It would take a few years for them to completely work Memphis outta their system.

Now, this is not to say Memphis is bad! Personally I’m a fan of the aesthetic, if my neon-drenched artwork wasn’t a tip-off already. But it is a trend, and trends never last forever.

So what took the Memphis Milano look down for good? This part’s up for debate, but I personally think it had something to do with this dude:

It’s that grunge music from Seattle that’s so popular with the kids these days dontchaknow.

Once Smells Like Teen Spirit hit in 1991, the Nirvana tone drove the rest of the decade. Clean geometry became weathered, grainy and organic. Bright neon pastels became more bold. Bubblegum pop music sounded fake and manufactured. Attitude and apathy was authentic. Whatever.

Things got grungy. Things got grimy. Olestra was invented.

I think the best way to visualize this transition is how Cherry Coke entered the decade and how it left it:

1992 Memphis on the left, 1998 grunge junkie on the right. Fitting that the 90s would end with a design that looked like Darth Maul’s lungs.

Okay, so what should 90s retro design look like?

Continue on to PART TWO! Spoilers: No VHS filters or vaporwave needed, but maybe bring an antacid.

[cogentranting]

Rating Non-Disney Animated Horse Designs

I’m back by popular demand/well not really but my optimism’s grand

A sequel to my Disney horse Rating post for all the other random non-Disney horses. Dreamworks, Bluesky, random cartoons, anything I could find. Featuring: Altivo, Spirit, some Barbie horses, and a few abominations.

Horse (Sing)

6/10 I don’t hate it and I feel like I should because it’s really hard to anthropomorphize horses that much without making them into the stuff of nightmares.

Shadowfax (The Lord of the Rings) 

5/10 There’s nothing WRONG with him per se, but it’s SHADOWFAX. Lord of all horses. He should wow me, and he doesn’t. Check out Gandalf’s weird sock-boots though. 

Hervé (Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper) 

-6/10 Horses' mouths don’t look like that. Horses’ mouths should not look like that. This thing wants to eat human flesh but can’t because it has two solid curved huge teeth with no physical  relationship with its jaw. Also this horse has the beginnings of male-pattern baldness. 

Princess Brietta (Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus)

1/10 Her eyes are flat like they’ve been painted onto her socketless skull. And there’s something very off-putting about this shade of pink. 

Beauty, Merry Legs, Ginger (Black Beauty) 

4/10 Ginger isn’t ginger. That is not a sorrel horse. There’s ONE requirement. Beauty’s the best of the three which is I guess what counts. 

Hans, Klaus and Greta (Ferdinand) 

2/10 I hate them so much. The core design isn’t that bad but the way they move and pose is. No horse should make that face. The one on the left is stretched putty.

The Grand Chawhee (All Dogs Go to Heaven)

I know what you’re thinking-- “isn’t that a mule or a donkey of some sort?” No. He’s a racehorse. Maybe a thoroughbred. And it’s his birthday so the other horses let him win. 

9/10

Stella (All Dogs Go to Heaven)

1/10 She gets one point for being nice to Chawhee. But she’s clearly some sort of alien giraffe hybrid. 

Odette’s horse (Swan Princess) 

7/10 Just a nice little palomino design.  

That little shaggy pony (The Quest for Camelot)

12/10 Amazing. Look at the determination.

Buck (Barnyard) 

2/10 See this is what that horse from Sing COULD have looked like. 

The Horse in the Back, Not Klaus But I Couldn’t FInd a Better Picture (Klaus)

9/10 He matches his owner and I respect that

Leah (The Star) 

4/10 This is horse is voiced by Kelly Clarkson. That has nothing to do with her rating, I just thought you should know. 

(Starchaser: The Legend of Orin) 

8/10 for both. I have questions but I do not want answers. It’s better this way. 

Fred (Over the Garden Wall)

7/10 don’t love that his head is a different color than his body in a weird way but he looks neurotic and fun. 

The Chariot Horses (Prince of Egypt)

8/10 I’ve just always liked these guys with their square faces and fun hats. 

Altivo (The Road to El Dorado)

7/10 Look at the little curl in his mane. Good personality. A little too much “Dreamworks Face” 

Donkey in Horse Form (Shrek 2? one of the Shreks) 

3/10 Look at his face. I DREAD what he might have to say. 

Esmeralda, Esperanza, Ernestina (Madgascar 3)

2/10 They’re coming for you. Coming to drag you into the Abyss. 

Police Horse (Madagascar)

7/10 I like his face shape. Compare him to the Madgascar 3 horses-- look how much more identifiable as a horse he is. 

Melvin (The Lorax)

10/10 He’s not a horse, but he’s so fluffy I love him. 

Babieca (Puss in Boots)

4/10 This horse has dead eyes. 

Onyx (Rise of the Guardians) 

13/10 She’s the leader of the nightmares and I would fully support her terrorizing the dreams of children. I’m pretty sure she and her mares ate the boogie man. A true Girlboss.

Yi Min (Kung Fu Panda but I think just an online game) 

-20/10 Just from a design perspective there’s far too much going on so it’s hard to even make it all out. Also I would have zero idea that this was a horse if the wiki page didn’t tell me it was. It has split hooves? 

Spirit Jr. (Spirit: Riding Free) 

8/10 Objectively I know the design is good  but my heart rebels against this show’s existence. 

Boomerang Thomas Stone (Spirit: Riding Free) 

8/10 I’m not doing all the horses from this show but I had to throw him in because he’s cute and he has a middle and last name for some reason.

Horse (Centaurworld) 

Why are there two distinctly different designs for her? This one gets a 9/10. The round one is like... a 5. All the other creatures in this show are eldritch abominations that will haunt me in my sleep now. 

Esperanza and all the other horses from this movie (Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron) 

10/10 No notes. Perfect horses. 

Rain (Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron) 

15/10 I don’t have a joke here I just really like the way they differentiated her and made her pretty without too much anthropomorphizing. I like that she has a roman nose.  I like her feather. 

Spirit (Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron)

100/10 He’s everything. He shaped me as a person. No other animated horse can compare. 

[famousblueraincoatmp3]

weird fucking animals in the sea tier list

big fin squid. what in the actual fuck is this?

2. phronima. inspired the face hugger from alien

3. big red jellyfish (thats its scientific name....)

4. squid worm???????? wtf is this monstrosity against god? (i love it)

5. frilled shark....just why?

6. barrel eye fish. its cute i guess but it looks so sad like a renaissance painting:( hey little guy cheer up you have lots of fans x

7. chained cat shark so cool but why tf is it in our ocean

8. japanese spider crab (i love this freaking thing but even a fan like me has got to admit this looks like a dark souls boss you'll die to 500 times before looking up various elemental tactics on reddit and gamefaqs.

9. bristle worms. they are sturdy to me ♥

10. blobfish...shes not that weird to me the thing thats weird is that people apperently eat it??? but folks will eat anything i swear to god. leave it alone its just a weird guy!!!!!!!

11. goblin shark. presented with no further explination. shark evolution is so fucked man

12. sixgill shark. he's back and hes coming in hot. i love his goofy ass

13. whatever in gods green earths name this is (black swallower, shes soooo real)

14. is it a tier ranking without me bringing up 12 squids? i dont think so. this here's a vampire squid, miss, a fine specimen for sure

15. gulper eel. ???

[wynnyfryd]

Trailer park Steve AU part 48

part 1 | part 47 | ao3

cw: mentions of smoking/sexual activity

Chapter 11

February

For two and a half months, Steve’s life goes perfectly. He didn’t realize how far into a pit he’d fallen until Eddie showed up to help Robin and the kids lift him out, but the difference is jarring. Golden hour sunlight after catching a matinée.

Steve spends two months blinking.

He sloughs off his sadness like a snake shedding skin; spends the winter getting back to being Steve, restocks his favorite hair products and restarts his fitness routines — morning runs through the woods, afternoon pick-up games with Lucas and some of his teammates when the weather doesn’t suck. Weightlifting in the evenings because Eddie says he likes how Steve’s arms look when they get a little big, says it’s more fun to pin him down when he knows it’s just for show.

And he tries new things, too, just because Eddie likes them or because the kids think they're cool. He reads a Vonnegut novel. He eats Indian curry. He even learns a song on guitar.

...Sort of.

Eventually.

(Actually, that whole thing goes pretty horribly and takes for-fucking-ever. Eddie spends an afternoon patiently encouraging him and doing his best not to tease while Steve clumsily moves through a beginner chord progression, and then breaks down wheezing when, after the sixth attempt with no improvement, Steve puts the guitar down in a huff and threatens to demote his pinky finger from his hand if it doesn't start cooperating. Eddie laughs so hard he tips face-first into Steve's crotch, and it takes them a sticky-spitty-sweaty half hour to get back to the lesson.)

Anyway, he likes the way their lives entangle. As easy as weaving his hands through Eddie’s hair.

He gets invited to band practice; he sits in on D&D. Sometimes he watches sports with Wayne when he's got a day off, then he heads out with Eddie for long joyrides through the countryside.

Eddie blasts his metal music when they get out to the backroads, and he talks too loudly over the bass and laughs even louder and rants about nothing and smokes cigarettes while he headbangs to his favorite guitar solos — almost lights his hair on fire on more than one occasion, fucking dumbass — and he does this silly, lewd shit that makes Steve's chest just ache. Makes it clench around the word that's been burning a hole in his tongue since New Year's Eve. Eddie wags his brows and palms himself through his jeans and asks if Steve wants to take another joyride when they get home, and Steve thinks:

God, I love you.

I love you.

How could I not love you?

And really, how could he not? And how much longer can he keep not telling him so? When it feels like the word is going to burst out of his chest Alien-style any second.

When it feels like Eddie's the reason he even has a home to get to.

Slowly — so slowly, hours spent thrifting and bartering and keeping an eye out for free stuff left out on the curb, even more hours sanding and painting and caulking and sweating to death between trips to the hardware store — they redo Steve's whole trailer. Floor to ceiling, wall to wall, they exorcise the haunted tin can. They make it his; they make it theirs.

Eddie injects life into every inch of the space, fills it with weird art and funky lamps and a big, comfy leather couch that he likes to bend Steve over. Comes inside him in every room when they get done working on it as a reward; gasps in Steve's ear about how he always wants to be inside him: in his home, in his body, nestled deep inside his heart. "Keep me right here, baby," he breathes as he fucks Steve against a wall, his left hand gripping Steve's chest while he fills him from behind.

It’s perfect.

It's perfect.

Everything is beautiful and nothing hurts unless Steve asks.

And then, because this godforsaken town and everyone in it are fucking cursed, one day it isn’t anymore.

—

part 49

tag list in separate reblogs under '#trailer park steve au taglist' if you'd like to filter that content. if you want to be added please comment and let me know (must be over 21; please either verify in the comment or have your age visible on your blog)

[skvrpion]

Windows🔞

a co-opted fanfiction I previously wrote, now starring Trevante Rhodes

TW: drug paraphernalia, vouyerism, unprotected sex & general filthiness

Frozen rain and snow beat down on Shawna's roof as she struggled work Photoshop. Every picture she was tweaking ended up turning into a confusing mess, one exposure line would go too high, and she couldn't turn back. Winter storms kept her boredom high and thoughts on hold as she wouldn't dare leave the house for anything else.

With a defeated sigh, Shawna slid her MacBook under her bed and went for her phone that'd been charging for when seemed to be hours. Not one notification was to be found from any of her apps, not even the games she had shoved off into a folder. The only thing left was to go through her contacts and FaceTime every single person until someone picked up. Usually, it was her sister or old housemate that would end up persuading her back into editing or asking her to show them her pieces. She could always be thankful for the two when she needed them.

As Shawna began her mind-numbing quest, a faint light caught her eye from her bedroom window. It was rare she saw life coming from the outside her home, almost everyone in her neighborhood was old, dying, or extremely weird to the point that she didn't even bother staying outside after dark.

To her surprise, it wasn't a peeping tom or aliens trying to harvest her body for experimentation, but her neighbor that lived right beside her.

Trevante's blinds were always closed, no matter what time of week it was they didn't move a peep and tonight, they were wide open. From what she knew, he was a night owl with with a hulking stature. In the mornings she'd be leaving for work, his Jeep would roll in and he'd quickly depart into his home bundled in a ski jacket (it sadly never reached above 40 in their town). Shawna always wanted to stick around to see what he truly looked like, to even hear his voice and compare it to the image she'd formed in the back of her head over the months he'd been there.

For a moment, Shawna couldn't tell what she was looking at due to the bright wash of red that painted his room. As her eyes settled, the black SD card she had in her hand quickly left her grip and scattered across the floor.

She was captivated.

Trevante looked nothing like what she thought he did. He was way more mesmerizing than that.

Smooth brown skin flexed with the sharp, defined muscles that ran up his tall frame; almost like the marble statues she studied from the Renaissance. To her delight profile was chiseled flawlessly, cheek bones high and lips full. She watched quietly as he discarded everything but his pajama bottoms and stretched, taking note of each carefully built muscle could see.

‘Had he always been that jacked?’

Trevante threw himself back onto what looked like a bean bag and fiddled with something on the nightstand beside him. Shawna felt creepy for watching him, but just couldn't rip her eyes away. As he sat back once again, he drew blunt his mouth and lit the end, quickly tossing his head back into his inhale. A billow of white clouds escaped into the air above him as he let the hit go without even an ounce of hesitation. He lit it again as Shawna watched smoke pour from his mouth, then into his nose.

She had no idea her neighbor was a smoker; let alone how he kept the smell undetectable from her sensitive nose. Curiosity got the best of her as she inched closer to her window, giving her a better picture of what was unfolding right beside her. Smoke coiled around Trevante's room and slipped through his hands as he quickly finished off what was left of the blunt and laid deeper back into the chair. Weed wasn't something Shawna was interested in or used to. With Cogic parents, anything illegal she thought about doing would quickly be crushed and out the window. Even at the age of 27 they'd still come tearing her doors down if they suspected she was smoking pot.

‘Only if they knew what door it was in.’

A lightbulb went off in Shawna's head. She had the perfect idea to: A. get out of her boring house for a while, B. cross something off her bucket list and C. stare at Trevante in a more reasonable setting. Pulling her blinds shut, she ended the show and went back to her phone that'd been abandoned on her dresser.

It was time to make a game plan.

Flipping through countless unopened snapchats she landed on one story in particular that she quickly swiped left on.

Me | Can u show me how to roll up?

DeeStroyer | are pigs flying?? Wyd 👀👀👀

Me | I'm not being funny 💀 it's my neighbor

Me | I kinda spied on him

Me | he fine as hell & he was smoking with his blinds open

DeeStroyer | so you asking me to get you high so you can go over there and get some neighbor dick? sounds like a plan 😼

Me | yes and no! it's brick as fuck outside I know you not about to come to my place, I just need a way over there. If that doesn't sound too creepy.

DeeStroyer | there's only like 6 people that chief on this side of town, he probably comes into the smoke shop a lot. I'll catch him for ya freaky girl 😉

Me | jfc, thanks DD

Me | his name is Trevante!!

DeeStroyer | marked & 📝

Shawna slung herself into her bed and screamed into her pillow like a big ass kid. She may have found the cure for her boredom-fueled artist block.

Now to play the waiting game.

...

Three dreary days had passed and not once had Shawna's neighbor cracked his blinds. It wasn't going to kill her, but it was still bothering her that she hadn't seen or heard a peep of Trevante since that one night. Tonight was the same as every other night, her music was playing, a candle was burning, and she couldn't bring herself to render the perfect picture.

As she got lost in her head, her phone began to jingle and the name "De'aria😈" flashed across the screen. DD was calling her which meant the plan worked for failed miserably.

"Wassup' homieeee."

Her raspy voice struggled to keep up with her sluggish words as she laid on her futon with her hoodie covering her face. She was baked out of her mind and ready to spill the tea.

"You want news on your dream boy?"

"Yes please." Shawna said while turning her Pandora station completely off.

"Okay so one, he's fine as fuck. But like not even that he's like...super handsome. If you put him next to the sexiest man alive, boom, blown out the water.”

She paused to take a puff off the blunt she'd rolled and blew the smoke into the camera in typical high DD fashion.

"So, I was chillin' behind the counter, and he rolls in all smooth and and asks to get some wraps - oh his teeth are gorgeous. Anyway, I bullshit and act like the the case is broke so Mark could come fix it while I chatted him up for you. I asked him where he was from, and he said some shit about Louisiana - I was a little high so I really wasn't tryna pay attention. He’s thirty something and works logistics at the Med.”

Shawna clutched her imaginary pearls. That position was the most sought after in their town, with only one hospital they’d triple the average salary for the lucky fuck who landed the gig; the only catch was that they were located in the middle of nowhere.

"You gotta be some type of straight shot to move here and not go insane. So anyway, I asked where he lived since there's only three feet of town here and I told him he was right by you."

"You what?"

"Chill out peeping tom, I ain't blow your cover. I just said my really good friend had been wanting to smoke but I couldn't go see her so he could always show you if he wanted to, blah blah blah. He has your number by the way."

“Jesus fucking Christ.”

DD cackled over the phone as Shawna flushed with anxiety, it was always fun to make her friend uncomfortable.

"Calm downnn, he's gonna text you in like 5 minutes. I promise he's super chill, I just got off the phone with him and I think you'll be over there in like a day. I gotta finish this damn backwood before I burn my apartment down though. Later girl."

The FaceTime ended and Shawna was a complete mess internally. How was she going to talk to him? Spying on him was one thing but actually making contact with this man she'd fell even deeper in lust in was going to kill her. Before she could comprehend the situation, a random number popped onto her screen with a text.

hey, is this Shawna?

She held her breath, swiped right, and began to click her her keyboard, making sure she'd saved his contact as "Tre".

It was so happening. …

Shawna couldn't feel her feet.

She was walking only a few steps out to his house, but the combination of her nerves and the freezing weather had her body iced up. Her heart was racing out of her chest the closer she inched to his door, the light from inside his home pulling her in. After they ended their texts, Shawna immediately called De'aria and screamed a thank you. She raided her closet in search of something decent to wear, settling on a track suit that'd been re-gifted to her for Christmas. She bundled up and headed to her front door, getting more and more anxious the further she paced. Now she was standing at his front door with her camera bag in her left hand and her right hovering over the doorbell.

‘Just ring it you wimp.’

Her nerves got the best of her, and she pressed the glowing button twice, hoping he'd hurry up before her fingers fell off in the cold. Footsteps paced; locks jingled then the door quickly flew back to reveal a very damp Trevante.

"I was in the shower, sorry."

His voice was so deep Shawna could feel it vibrating in the back of her head, she would've screamed if De'aria was there. Without looking she shuffled into his place and was greeted by the strong smell of flowers; the smart man knew how to keep the smell of weed away from any surprise visitors.

Shawna studied his place, full of plants and odd nicknacks that'd been donated by various family members upon his sudden move. Trailing him, she realized how similar their houses were and began her picture taking. She loved scenery, it was just other people she couldn't photograph to save her life. They stopped at his room that Shawna had already seen in her creeping to collect what all they needed for the night. As her eyes darted in curiosity, a long, black cabinet with what looked like rocks and branches in it caught her eye. It was right beside his bed, and she couldn't figure out exactly what it was for. Maybe he liked nature?

"I wouldn't get too close to that." His voiced boomed from behind her. Shawna hid her startled reaction and turned her head back to catch a glance of Trevante. He was holding mason jar and an assortment of wraps, both brand new from De'aria's salesmanship earlier that day.

"Huh?

"Most people that come over don't like animals...well specifically them."

Shawna whipped her head back to the cabinet and realized it was in fact a terrarium she was staring at. Immediately she noticed a large, bright yellow snake that'd been hiding in the corner of the enclosure and another, fat, brown one that was coiled up tightly in the bottom.

"Carpet pythons. I forget they're in there sometimes."

She snapped three pictures of the serpents and left them alone, not wanting to bother whatever world they had going on in there.

"C'mon, we can match in the back,” Trevante said while eyeing his pets, "I'm really not supposed to smoke around them."

Shawna quietly made her way out of his warm abode and cut a left into what felt like the complete opposite. It was damn near pitch black besides the blue, fluorescent lights that casted a cold shadow across the room. It reminded Shawna of all those clubs she was drug to by her friends, just a little more inviting and way less crowded. Fiddling with the exposure on her camera, she snapped what at first was a box of nothing until her surroundings became fully recognizable.

A leather couch sat aside to one wall that was plastered with graphic style posters, some donning scantily clad women and drug paraphernalia. A fish tank glowed softly to the side of a record player that was across from them, and a coffee table stood neatly between it all. It was almost as if the place had been copied and pasted from an 80s movie set.

She tried for one more of the fish tank but caught Trevante in the midst of taking his hoodie off, he still hadn't dried off from his shower and the light was reflecting off his wet stomach. Shawna quickly put her camera down and hid her face in embarrassment while Trevante laughed. It's not like she hadn't seen him shirtless before.

"Sorry for flashing you. Can I see it?"

She handed him her camera and he softly smiled at the monitor; his shirt was still over his head leaving only the silhouette of his body visible.

"Send that to me later, it's nice"

Shawna got her camera back whilst a brilliant idea formed in her head.

"Hey before we start, can I take a picture of you smoking? That's really weird but it'd be cool with the lights...this room is really cool."

Trevante shrugged and plopped down into the loveseat, opening the glass jar he'd been holding on to. Now she knew why they called it loud, the smell almost making her eyes tear. Taking in the pungent aroma she took pictures of him breaking it down, subjugating her attention to the cone he gently stuffed. It was in that moment she noticed he in fact, was in grey sweats that she struggled to not further examine.

‘Bitch don't be creepy.’

The sound of the lighter flicking brought her attention back. Trevante was staring at her with a slight grin which made her face flush hot. Thank God it was cold out or she’d died of a stroke heat stroke then and there.

"You good?"

Shawna quickly nodded and held her camera close to her face, trying hard to conceal a smile that was working its way through her cheeks. Doing the same as he did the previous nights ago, Trevante lit the end of the joint and inhaled smoothly. To make the pictures more interesting he blew a large cloud of smoke that almost obscured the lens view. Shawna had no idea how it was possible to keep that much in his lungs, but she was soon going to find out.

"I feel like a model," he mumbled while flashing his teeth through the haze, "come here. Before I get too high."

Shawna's stomach dropped as she put her camera aside. She was about to be extremely close to a breathtaking man that she barely even knew outside of passing. All she could hear was De'aria bagging on her if she bitched out, tonight was not the night she'd fail. She slid next to him and sunk into the seating, unzipping her hoodie just a little bit to let some air hit her skin. Along with her nervousness, she was starting to break a sweat and had completely forgot about the thick jumpsuit she'd put on.

Relaxing, Shawna took the still lit joint from him and let it hang off her lip. He noticed and cocked his eyebrow before moving over to spark the flame again.

"De'aria?”

"Yeah, I punked out a lot."

"Well, you ain’t got to now, I got you,” he ensured, “Just go slow, inhale when I say...go."

A rush of warm smoke flooded Shawna's throat as she slowly pulled inwards, taking note to double tap before handing it off. Her lungs, however, almost gave out before she could exhale forcing her to cough into the collar of her shirt. Head rushing with endorphins, she'd was astonished by somehow surviving her first real toke of weed. Trevante replaced the spliff with a water bottle and laughed, making Shawna flush hot again. It was something about his smile that flipped her insides around and she really wanted him to keep doing it. She let him smoke a little more while she caught her breath and stared in awe as he French inhaled. She usually thought it looked stupid when people played with smoke, but he made it look sexy. He passed it back for her to finish the rest, but she willfully denied.

Being high was different for everyone, for Trevante it made everything feel good. From cramming numbers to partying he found solstice in the euphoric feeling. Shawna on the other hand was skeptic but quickly found her discernment to be highly false; whatever she was feeling had begun to creep down her body and into her chest. Warmth was the best way she could put it, and her thoughts? They were everywhere but where she currently was, only being able to focus on Tre’s inexplicably huge arms flexing as he ashed the joint.

"You high already?" he snickered softly beside her.

Instead of forming words that would've made absolutely no sense she opted to nod. Being high didn't seem so bad, not as bad as her dad stressed it was. Thinking of him, she started laughing again and ran her fingers through her braids, forgetting what it even was that had started her giggle fest. Trevante had gotten up to put a record on, as he always did when he smoked in here. Through the dim lights Shawna could make out an old school album and closed her eyes as the record scratched on. How he was even capable of standing was blowing her mind, she could barely type a text out on her phone which now felt microscopic in her hand.

As if Cupids angels had alerted who she was thinking about, De'aria's contact number popped onto her screen as her FaceTime rang.

"Uh oh." Trevante said while taking his seat back next to her, this time way closer. His arm was draped behind her neck when De'aria connected, making the matchmakers eyes go wide. Shawna popped a headphone in and only caught part of what her friend was saying.

"-ich are you high?! And is that his arm behind you?!"

She could only laugh, causing DD to explode in screams. The plan sounded like an L waiting to happen, but it actually worked.

"I can hear music playing, please tell me you tapping that tonight?"

"Shh shut up!" Shawna whispered while bringing her finger to her mouth. It's not like either of them could hear what the hell she was saying.

"This is great, bitch I gotta smoke another one for this. Don't call me unless you got some dick!"

De'aria ended the phone call abruptly, taking Shawna back to her home screen which was currently moving around. Instead of fiddling with it she placed it next to her and turned to meet Trevante's glossed over eyes. It was then she got a full view of his face and took in every detail she could; he really did have a perfect smile, and his beard was well taken care of. She even noted his eyes scanning her chest before he averted his attention elsewhere.

"You smacked," he said while fishing his lighter back out his pocket, "I rolled a dutch if you don’t mind the tobacco smell. You in or you done?"

"I'm aight." Shawna half mumbled; half laughed. To be truthful, the more she watched him smoke the more she found herself imaging what his lips felt like elsewhere. She questioned taking more pictures but gave up on the idea entirely as he made a sudden reach for her camera. He wanted to be nosy too - not knowing the preloaded SD card was also home to self-made nude studies from her time in art school.

Shawna couldn’t have moved fast enough as they both made a break for camera, praying to high heavens it would die before he could take a gander at her most precious assets. What started as gentle tug of war quickly turned into grappling contest as she fought him for her camera.

“What you hiding in here a dead body?”

“Maybe, just give it here. Your mama teach you any manners?”

He took full advantage of their heigh difference and held the device high in the air away from her reach with that goofy ass smile of his. If she weren’t pressed for her reputation she’d laugh. Instead, Shawna jumped, and failed, then jumped again before deciding to launch herself off the couch.

“Give it back!” Was the last thing Trevante heard before she slammed dead center into his chest – toppling them both to the cold floor. He threw the camera to safety, then focused his attention on halting Shawna’s desperate attempt at getting one up on him. She squealed, struggling to release from his solid grip until she ultimately gave up. At this point both of her arms were pinned behind her head and her legs had gotten tangled between his. She tried her hardest to look away from him, the thought of what it looked like they were doing was turning her on and she didn't want to 'pop a lady boner' as De'aria always said.

"Okay I give up," she panted, “you strong as hell.”

"Apologize for jumping on me then."

"Boy please. Manners remember?

"Sure. But how you think you getting out of this?"

"Bet if I kissed you, you'd let me go."

Shawna wasn't exactly sure if it was her or the weed talking, but she was feeling frisky and didn't want to waste such an opportune moment. She watched the solid man hovering over her pause to cock his eyebrows, then lean down closer in her face.

"Bet."

He tasted like mint and grabba, and her panties were instantly drenched at the softness of his lips. It'd been a very long time since she'd been kissed like this, hell she wasn’t sure if she’d even been kissed like this at all. Though she tried to restrain herself, Shawna stifled a moaned into Trevante’ mouth, prompting him to draw back – stifling a promiscuous grin as he gently placed her camera back in her hand and stood her upright. An out of breath Shawna eyed him bewilderedly and quietly considered how the next few seconds could go. In good ole Shawna fashion, she could chicken out and hide in the bathroom for the rest of the night…or she could get some dick for the first time in months.

Where her own words failed her, Trevante’ curious mind came to the rescue.

“I guess you won that one…Can I make bet?

“Yes” she blurted a little too quickly, prompting a laugh from them both. As Trevante caught his breath, he gently snaked an arm around her waist to steady her and caught her eyes – her heart thumping near out of her chest as they pressed against one another.

“I bet I got you wet just now.”

A gasp was the only thing Shawna could muster, in part to his filthy decree and also due to his hand gripping deep past her ass – fingertips dancing near the damp spot in her sweats.

For a second time she moaned, now with more conviction as the situation fully dawned on her. She was about to get laid with possibly the best dick east of state line – Trevante on the other hand was all teeth, marveling at how soft she was in his hands. To be truthful, he’d been in heaven tangled between her legs and wanted to feel more. See more. But, only knowing her for a few hours he was fully aware that she could hightail it back home if it was all too much.

But it wasn’t.

In fact, it wasn’t enough.

The soft grip Trevante had on her as tightened up as Shawna stole another kiss, ensuring her tongue held up a good fight against his as they stumbled back into the couch. By the time they separated she was seated eye-level with the drawstring of his sweats, finally getting a guilt free image of what he was working with. Even through the thick fabric she could make out his impressive girth, to her dismay it was about all she could ogle at before he tilted her head back towards his.

“You or me first?”

Before answering, Shawna shed herself of her zip up, “Me.”

Trevante responded by dropping to his knees, eyes never breaking contact as he helped her out of her fleece bottoms. For just a moment he reveled at her soaked panties, and to make her squirm he ran a gentle thumb in the center seam of the fabric before pulling it entirely to the side. His lips met hers with a ferocious force before she could chide him for teasing, turning her complaint into a meager whisper as her legs inched closed. She could only watch as he took her in with every part of his mouth, tongue toying with her clit as he kept her spread eagle by the inner thighs with both hands.

“Oh shit.” Was the only legible thing she could voice through the euphoria flooding her mind and body. With one hand nestled atop his fade, she gripped the couch with her entire might as he ate her from front to back; his head beginning to swivel as he lapped up the warmth dripping down her folds. Shawna had never been this horny before; of course, she’d heard about high sex but this. This was way more than she could comprehend; not even shit faced drunk did she get this wet from a kiss - let alone head. It didn’t help that her captor was the eater of the century. Just the sight of him nose deep in her pussy was enough to send her right over the edge. As if it weren’t enough, Trevante started the drawn-out process of spelling his name on her soaked clit; tongue dancing on the rock-solid button like it was his last meal.

He got to V before Shawna felting an abrupt orgasm coming on, nearly barking at the man for some sort of relief, “Tre stop…I’m finna, oh fuck.”

Startled he came up for air, his beard near drenched with her essence. She couldn’t push him back down fast enough as she began to climax against her own wishes. In seconds, Shawnas head snapped back, and she hyperventilated into a moan so loud it overcast the music – clawing her nails deep across ever taut back. Trevante met her cries with even harder tongue lashings, finally opting to let up once her legs stoped shaking.

As she came back to Earth, the man beneath her trailed small kisses up her thighs, meeting her blushed gaze for the first time in minutes. Shawna truthfully wanted to ball up and hide – to cum this quickly on her neighbors’ leather seats when there was a much bigger (and thicker) issue at hand was a bit embarrassing in her mind.

“My bad ma. You good? We can stop if you want.” He insisted from her lap.

“I’m okay. I just…wasn’t tryna do that so quick. Sorry.”

“Sorry for what,” he chided, “you taste good. Like I said, we can stop if you want to.”

“But what about you?”

“Me? I can handle that. Unless you wanna watch like you have been.”

A pang of guilt zapped Shawnas head – had he known she’d been peeping on him this whole time? She sat up, ruined panties getting warm for the ump-teeth time that night and gave him a puzzled look. He chuckled deeply and rose up. With the erectionin his is briefs now threatening to tent outward, he pulled his sweats completely off and gripped his hard on down. Underneath the fluorescent lights he looked godly, and his dick was every bit of enticing through the thin cotton briefs keeping him contained.

“I saw you that night. To be real I bout’ to jack off but I didn’t want to be the perv of the neighborhood,” he paused, hand slowly moving up and down his shaft, “but you. You wanted to see it too. You wanted to see me… like this?”

To Shawnas surprise he was beginning to moan through his words, right hand picking up speed in his shorts. With his free hand, the towering man retrieved her long-discarded phone from the floor and tossed it her way – already recording a new kind of masterpiece for her her collection. Though still incredibly high, she was still very horny and game to his antics; ensuring the flash was on, Shawna aimed the camera at her subject and took it upon herself to get him completely naked.

She took his low eyes into hers and cooed, “Let me take it out and you show me then.”

He let off another moan at her sudden touch, her fingertips tracing the poking veins trailing his skin as she peeled him out of underwear. Just as she though, his dick was as gorgeous as he was – thick and two toned at the tip, he was slick with precum and twitching out of control. With the roles now reversed Shawna was emboldened to see him get weak in the knees like she was.

“It’s so pretty Tre. Show me how you stroke it when you alone.”

“Yes ma’am,” he exhaled, voice shaking as he whimpered her name over the music. He worked his wrist from tip to the base of his shaft, fingers squelching as he pumped swears from his soul; the more he worked the wider his mouth gaped open – moaning with each breath he took.

“Shawna…,” his voice trailed off, eyes beginning to roll back.

“Huh? Say it loud papa.”

“Please baby. You got my tip so. Fucking. Sensitive.”

She was all smiles behind the camera, partly giddy from the weed, and incredibly humbled at her ability to take Trevante’ soul without touching him. He was moaning like a bitch, now choking himself out with that free hand that had held her captive minutes before.

Nasty ass nigga

“Where you gone cum Tre? On the floor or in me?” Shawna taunted. He paused for only a second and bit back a smile, “in you.”

Keeping him at bay, Shawna wagged her finger and propped her phone up on the arm of the couch, only letting him get close when she was ready. Letting her panties slip down her figure, she raised her legs and pulled him over by the back of the thighs. Eyes glued to the screen, they both watched as his head finally made contact with her folds, each parties faces screwing up with undeniable pleasure. Taking after his solo performance, Shawna snaked her hand around his throat and squeezed hard as Trevante slowly entered her pussy.

“Oh my God.” He exclaimed. Just as he expected she felt just as heavenly as she tasted.

A drawn out ‘Tre’ was just about all the stout woman could muster, occasionally peering down to watch him slide in and out of her with the growing conviction he had brewing that entire night. Rocking his hips to the slow tempo of the music, he made sure to keep that dangerous thumb of his on her clit and circle– he wanted to break her down for all the teasing she’d been doing, one step at a time. This time she was the bitch, cursing him with all her might as he fucked her deep into the couch. With every stroke her grip loosened on his neck, hands eventually flailing aside to anchor herself in place. To make things worse, Trevante’ face was crammed deep in her neck talking big shit while he drilled her,

Between each stroke he growled, “you taking this dick so good mama. Look at how creamy it’s getting.”

“W-why?”

“Why what? Why I’m fucking you like this? Cause you deserve it.”

Again, she began to pant just as she had when she came in his mouth, only this time she was dangerously close to ruining his furniture with sweat and incoming release. Shawna clung to his shoulders, squeezing him into her bare breasts to keep them both secure, and cried into the night as he roughly blew her out in missionary. Her walls began clenching involuntarily, eyes now glued to the roof of her skull as a second orgasm crept its way out of her. Besides their exclamations a sound akin to water splashing overtook their space. She was getting close and as much as Tre wanted to go all night, he knew she couldn’t survive another round.

“Let that shit out Shawna.” Was all she had to hear. With a screech of ecstasy her hips jerked into his and she wept; bouncing from his name to a string of curses she came harder than she had in almost a year.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck! Tre fuck!”

He, on the other hand, was still stroking– rhythm becoming unhinged as his own nut started to unwind. Even blacked out she could feel his dick hitting every spot she couldn’t with a pitiful rose toy; in typical Trevante fashion he snatched her by the jaw forced her to look him in the eyes as the tension holding him together snapped.

An airy “Im cumming,” was all he could muster – twitching inside the vice grip she had on his length one last time he finally let it all out: warm cum shooting in her soft walls and voice groaning through the blue lit room. He was surprisingly more of mess than she was, collapsing into her, hips jerking violently as his climax came to a slow end.

By the time they both came to the long-forgotten record had stopped and scratched in rhythm with their cyclic breathing. Shawna took the moment to lazily turn her phone off and untangle her body from his as he tended to the mess they’d created. She was three blinks away from sleep when he finally returned to escort her to a well needed bed, wet towel in hand for her to clean off as they shuffled to his room. Before quite literally collapsing into his bed she quipped an earnest statement his way,

“You think De’aria gone flip out when I call her?”

“Think? You better hope she don’t see that video. She might wanna watch next time like you.”

With a final grumble Shawna retorted “You the one that can’t shut your blinds.”

And with, that their banter was even for the night. With only the pale terrarium silhouetting their faces the pair drifted into sleep, chests rising in tandem to the sounds of life carrying on outside that cozy bedroom window.

[hopepetal]

Voidwalker scar :J

Scar loves the cold.

It’s cold in the void, yes– that’s probably why. It’s cold, freezing even. But it’s a particular type of cold that Scar can’t quite seem to find in the overworld, even on the tallest peaks of mountains or deep in the frozen tundras. The cold of the void is not sharp and biting, nor icy, nor windy. The cold of the void is a numb emptiness that he just can’t get enough of, that he enjoys so much that he wonders why he ever left. 

He blinks reflective deep purple eyes open and turns in a slow circle, the currents of the void keeping him afloat just above the Brink. If he were to go beyond the Brink, even as a voidwalker, well– he’d be a deadwalker. Ha. Get it? Because he’d be dead–

Anyways. 

Scar lets out a laugh that echoes just as much as it is muffled, which is a weird thing to think about. There is a resonance in his chest that bubbles out of his lips, only to be snatched away by the empty void. He doesn’t blame her. In the emptiness, in the cold, he’d take the warmth from visitors too. The void is great, and he loves the cold quiet, but don’t get him wrong– even voidwalkers leave for a reason. 

She nudges him for this, and he shrugs in silent apology, allowing her to stain his hands and up to his elbows. It was as though he dipped his hands in paint made of the void herself– and he wears it well, in his opinion. Reacting to his thoughts, the void sticks to his clothes, coating them in the same opalescent shine that surrounded him.

I look like an alien gentleman. 

The void laughs in his ears, and Scar can’t help but laugh back. His laughter is taken, leaving his chest cold, and another particle of light is added to the void. It’s cold. It’s beautiful. 

It’s home.

(Ask game!)

[whereserpentswalk]

There's a world out there, on the edge of human space, where a virus has spread that rots off human skin. They interact with aliens more then humans so there's not much fear of it spreading, but for the people on that world it's like humanity is slowly being eaten away.

Most people can't afford to quarantine or to go off world. It's attached to everything, it's in the water, in the air, in the soil. After a few decades everyone is infected, children born on the planet are born infected, it's just a matter of when it begins to take hold.

People live their lives with their skin slowly rotting away. It just looks like they're pale and sickly at first, but then slowly, useally starting with the fingers, it starts to take them. Due to technology on the planet being sufficiently advanced it is survivable, but the rotted skin must be replaced with an artificial skin, that looks and feels like black rubber. In the early stages it looks like someone is just wearing black rubber gloves, but as time goes on it gets to take up more and more of the body. By the end stages everything is replaced with a shiny black covering, the face has to be replaced with a device that looks like a gas mask as the mouth and eyes are particularly ravaged by the virus. Due to eating being impossible when someone's face is replaced injections must be taken regularly.

People live their lives mourning what they've lost. They'll go to the beach for one last time. Eat their favorite food knowing they won't be able to. They'll ask their loved one's to play with their hair or stroke their skin before it's gone. People will make love for the last time before the virus takes their genitals. They'll look at the things and people they love before their eyes are made lidless and covered in glass. Its made worse by its slowness, everyone counting down the moments, and watching as they lose more and more of their bodies.

But people can cope. They can still live even once the virus has taken everything that it can. People start customizing their artificial skin with paint and stickers. Some people add loose hoods or even wigs to their skins so they won't look bald. They end up picking out masks that they feel suit them the most, changing them sometimes. People live entire lives without skin, when you're like that for long enough it stops being your top priority. You have to live your life nomatter the pain, though once all your skin is gone you end up more numb then you are in pain.

Eventually most of the humans on that planet reproduce through cloning. Sex is mostly out of the picture once you don't have skin, but humanity still needs to exist. It's important to people that humanity survives on this planet in a part of the galaxy where humans are rare. After a few generations people are skinned at birth, as it's seen as less cruel then letting them feel the pain of losing their skin. And when you're in a world where nobody has skin, having skin seems weird and scary. Eventually warriors and nobility from this planet opt for a more metalic and armored artificial skin, further changing how this branch of humanity relates to its condition.

When a fleet of humans from another planet comes to visit that world, hoping for an alliance between fellow humans in a place where humans are rare, they don't even still see eachother as being part of the same species.

[prettyevermores]

tolerate it

( tenth doctor x reader / fourteenth doctor x reader )

a/n: i haven’t wrote on here in so long 😥😥 @sqiim is writing so now im writing and i don’t wanna do my work so here i am !!!

🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️

You initially didn’t mean to find The Doctor, he found you. The shit day you were having was immediately twisted into an interesting one when you had walked into him. Firstly, you had woken up to the passing of your beloved dog and decided to go shopping after you had taken the canine to the vet for the last time. Then you were walking down the street and your shopping bag broke, spilling out all your shopping onto the floor as you walked into a man in a trenchcoat. You were close to giving up, that’s when he turned around and begun to pick up your pile of oranges that fell out the bag.

“You don’t need to help” You said, shoving items into your other shopping bag. The Stranger locked eyes with you and smiled, he had the most beautiful chocolate eyes and freckles painted his face. 

“It’s not a worry, I’m happy to help” He replied, still with a soft smile as he picked up some of your things.

“Thank you, by the way” You spoke softly standing up and straightening out your outfit.

“I’m The Doctor” He chuckled introducing himself before he whisked you away from your lowlife 

During those times together, you had seen the most beautiful things with The Doctor. You had seen ancient ruins from meadows of the old age, civilisations dancing under a bright moonlight, betwitched by realms of impossibility. But there was also the downsides of travelling with The Doctor, fighting aliens who look like they belong in the air fryer and covered in cheese, lasers beaming down at you from metal men, loosing people you had grown to care about in a short amount of time. And The Daleks, it’s always The Daleks. They always take the time out of their day to ruin everything. 

You didn’t want to leave him, you could never leave him behind. Your love for The Doctor was too powerful to ever let him go from your life. It was quite the opposite in fact, he let you go. He didn’t want what happened to Donna to happen to you. Poor Donna Noble, you wished you could speak to her again one more time.

You would always wait by the door, hoping and wishing he would come back to you but he was much older and wiser than yourself so you thought he wouldn’t understand of waiting by the door for someone to come like you were a kid. You would always set a spot at your dinner table incase he came back home to you but he would never show in the end. He could be out in the universe, finding worlds that hadn’t been discovered just then or not meant to be discovered at all, yet here you were, waiting for him all those years.

When you had heard about Donna Noble’s generosity donating to all those charities, selflessly giving it away even though she had won so much. Something inside you had always wondered that a part of her mind had never truly forgotten The Doctor. Which confused you for a long time, you had always secretly been making sure she was okay. Not in a weird way! She was your best friend at one point and you wanted to make sure she was staying out of trouble. 

Five painful, long years after The Doctor’s sudden abandonment of you back on your property, he found himself there again. But this time he was much older and wiser, you were still setting the table with all the fancy shit like you would always do for him if he ever came back. Same face or not, you would always know it was him and you’d always love him. The Doctor found himself with the same face he had met you in, he was originally confused on why he had that face but after The Toymaker, he now understood why he came back to this face, he came back to go home, home where he was meant to be. That home was you (And Donna), he never had to worry about being the renowned Timelord when he was with you, he was just himself. 

You were relaxed, cooking yourself your favourite meal for dinner. Dancing to the slow music you had playing in the background, the warmth of your kitchen putting you into a celestial state of peace. You were finally at peace with yourself and what happened with The Doctor, you would never not love him, you could never bring yourself to stop loving him. Then there was a knock at the door, you’d recognise that knock anywhere, the soft but panicked knock resonated inside your head as you absentmindedly turned the stove off.

To say you were nervous about answering the door was an understatement but a part of you said that you should see him again. You still loved him after all. There he stood, still your Doctor but older, he was still as beautiful as ever. Tears pricked your eyes but you didn’t let them fall, creating a cold demeanour around him and you didn’t want to break again in front of him. However, that was short lived as he could see through your demeanour, he could see right into your pain, your heartbreak.

“I’m so sorry” He expressed, you looked away. You didn’t want to let him see you like this, you wanted to stay mad but you could never stay mad at The Doctor. His hand reached out to you, resting upon your cheek and making you lock eyes with him. You didn’t fight it, you let your feelings take over, you’d never let your heart take over your head, but for The Doctor? 

Oh, how you’d do it every-time.

“I know” You whispered “You always are sorry, but this time you mean it right? This time please say you’ll stay” Your eyes and contact with him and smiled softly at him.

“I couldn’t leave if I tried, my sweetheart” He chuckled lowly, his hand slowly caressing at your cheek, pushing a loose strand of hair out your face. He moved his face down towards your ear and whispered into it “I’ll always stay with you, until the end of time itself”

His voice into your ear was sending shivers down your spine, you trembled into his touch. Then came the kiss, the missed touch of his lips against your own, it was heavenly, you thought you had died and came back from the dead. The desperate touches and fleeting looks from his eyes. The way his eyelids fluttered as you pulled against his shirt to get any closer to him.

This was his home. This is what he was meant for. He was meant for you.

[x-candy-guts-x]

Yautja x reader

Part two

Woooo another one baby

Again I suck ass at writing so this is gonna be yet another bucket of paint thrown at a wall and just hope to god it comes out coherent

OK ANYWAY

• you were originally abducted by another alien race. It started out just living your life going to work and coming home rinse, wash and repeat. But you started getting weird little signs that something wasn’t normal. Weird feelings in your head that turned into dizziness that lead to a particularly aggressive fainting spell in your own home.

• you woke up in a metal room. At first you were scared you had been drugged and kidnapped- not far from the truth but you thought it had at worst been traffickers not whatever the hell that thing was staring at you through the glass like door. It was slender small and gray with big eyes.

•you found out that they weren’t actually hostile and just wanted some info on you and some dna. They said they would bring you back home once they were done. But the universe had other plans. The ship was attacked and you among a few of the crew were taken hostage and thrown into cages. You had collars fashioned around your necks and were treated like pets. Or product.

•the ship landed on a strange planet with two suns. It felt arid but off behind the ship was a massive rainforest like place. And in front in a small distance was a city.

•taken into the city you were all being sold off. You tried to fight against the chain and you even bit the giant armored lizard fuck who dared to grab your chin to get a closer look. The kinder aliens who took you to begin with had give you a translator behind your ear. You were able to figure some things out. Like their species; the yautja and the planet.

•you were the last one who had yet to be sold. One yautja in particular came up and asked about you. He was about 7ft, leaner and had darker tones in his scales. Mostly muddied grays and black. The seller went and took off the chain. You still had the collar like mechanism however. As soon as he did you ran. You dodged between people and headed to the forest. They had tried to chase you down and even activated the collars shocking abilities but you kept going. Even after blood ran down your torso from the electric prongs digging into you.

It had been about a day and a half before you made it to an area that looked like a small calm village. There were some homes in the trees and some on the clearing. A cool river that ran maybe a hundred meters or so off to the side. And just up the hill past that river was a small cave. You didn’t know if these people were kind or trust worthy so you didn’t approach. Instead opting to stay in the cave. You fashioned yourself a blade with a very sharp obsidian like black stone, some wood for the handle and a vine to keep it together.

•it did okay. You were able to get small things down on the ground and even found a potato like root you could cook up and eat. The fires you made to cook needed to be small though. You didn’t want to alert anyone that you were there. Although you had a suspicion that they already knew.

•you took up wood carving to pass the time, making animals from your home planet. You went down to the river once and forgot your carving of a deer. When you went to retrieve it, a little yautja had already gotten to it and was inspecting it. It made a rapid little clicky noise and ran back to the village with what looked like excitement. Scared you ran back to your cave.

•unbeknownst to you there was a popular fairytale in the village. They told stories of humans to scare the little ones into behaving at night. And when the little one found the deer carving it certainly made the stories seem more vibrant. The kids made rumors about a big bad scary ooman in the forest. You- would sometimes sit behind rocks/trees and carve away while listening to them.

•they had concluded that the creature was a deer thanks to their parents. Buuut their imaginations went wild. Deer were now giant carnivores who impaled victims on their antlers and wore the corpses like rotting trophies. You giggled at that one. But suddenly everything went silent. Peeking between the two large stones that concealed you the oldest of the young ones was pointing in your direction. You abandoned your carving and very quickly but still quietly headed back to your cave.

•the found your carving. This time it was a fruit bat. Fruit bats can get pretty big on earth. Some with wing spans up to five feet! But they were so cute. They loved fruit and looked like puppies in your eyes. But the kids had once again made wild tales. Tales of giant fire breathing monsters. “Huh..” you sort of muttered under your breath. That one is actually pretty close to home. Not literally but it made you think about the tales of dragons on earth and how maybeeee that’s partially how they got started.

•you started leaving carvings more often. It made you happy to see them play with them and come up with fantastical tales. You would hide and carve and listen as they played. What you didn’t know was high up in the trees above you, was a certain masked individual watching your every move.

•your collar had been outfitted with a tracker. And it was just chance that you went right to the village the one who sought to buy you lived at. When you made it to the tree line they decided to not bother with the chasing. He paid and decided to hunt you. Maybe not kill you but he enjoyed the idea of toying with you. But once he saw you carving he stepped back. He watched. And he watched the children. He watched longer than he intended too.

•a month of this went by. The children now had maybe ten of your little carvings. All of different animals. Deer, bats, dogs, cats, horses, rams, weasels, giraffes, and all sorts. You were currently carving a T-Rex. You were in your cave carving it due to the heavy rain. Wondering where you should leave it for them to find you settled on the same place as the last two, perched on a big roundish but flat stone that was right on shore and in the middle of plain site. You figured you’d just leave it there again. When you placed it on the stone off to your left you heard a little shreek. The Rain was no more than a fine mist but rhe river water was sweeping away the little one. It wasn’t too strong but the rain didn’t help when it made the river just a bit deeper. You ran after the little one and dove in.

•Bringing the small but heavy child back to shore you sat him down. He was fine but startled. Wether it was from the river or you- the mysterious human in the hill everyone jokes about was anyones guess. When he just continued to ogle at you in silence you sighed. Being back and next to the stone you left the dinosaur on you picked it up and handed it to him. Then, hearing a noise in the tree line- you assumed it was his parents and bolted up the hill back to your cave.

•a couple days later you were awoken to some noises outside the cave. Afraid you grabbed your knife and jumped out. The poor little yautja that caused the commotion stumbled back and landed on his butt. Dropping the knife you squatted down to help him. He reached his chubby little hands out. In them was a little basket of fruit :)

•you were tired. So tired. Turns out whatever that fruit was made you extremely sleepy. So, after the little yautja left and the fruit was eaten you decided to take a nap. When you woke up it was dark. You felt around and concluded you were in a pile of furs. Wait- why was it so comfortable? The things you got to make your bed had been crude and hard, soft enough to sleep but not comfort. This was soft and plush. Sitting up quickly you realized you weren’t in your cave anymore.

Looking out the window, you were in the village. Oh boy.

Should I continue this? Is it baD

Please tell me how I could improve this I haven’t written anything since I was like 14 and making fuckin edgy ass creepypasta x reader fanfics on quiz quotev lmAO

[adobe-outdesign]

Thoughts on the Aisha? It’s been my favorite neopet ever since I got a mcdonalds plushie of it when I was like 8 before I even knew what neopets was

Aisha are great because they're almost somewhat normal cat-like creatures—except they have two pairs of ears, one normal set and one set sticking up like antennae. These ears are the most important part of their design, as they're both visually distinct and very memorable.

Aishas also vaguely implied to have some degree of extra-terrestrial origins due to the existence of alien Aishas, which is a nice bit of worldbuilding and helps explain the weird ears even more (not that they're that unusual by Neopet standards, but still, it's neat).

In addition to the four ears, the other main notable thing about Aishas is their near-constant closed eyes (though some Aisha characters do have theirs open), which are punctuated by a ring around the outside. The ring is nice, as it helps break up their otherwise solid body colors a bit.

I'd also argue that Aishas benefited greatly from customization. First, their old artwork was getting very dated and needed a refresh anyways, and secondly, the only real change is that they're standing now, which doesn't really affect anything.

But the other big benefit the Aisha received is that their collars became a wearable item that can now be removed. I'm not going to lie, I never liked the collars. First, they're weird because in-universe, Neopets are anthropomorphic, and indeed, no Aisha characters sport the collars. Secondly, as a species, where do those collars come from, and why do Aishas wear them? And thirdly, they tend to add unnecessary color to their designs (like how the blue and green Aishas shown above sport red and yellow collars—though this varies depending on paint job). The "A" tag also feels clunky. They're not the worst, but having the choice to remove the collars or keep them is the best of both worlds.

The only big benefit to the collars is that they do sometimes do some really fun things with them depending on the color, as I've spotlighted below.

Favorite colours:

Alien: No Aisha review would be complete with talking about alien Aishas, which are absolutely iconic in their own right. Species-specific colors are always enjoyable, and the fact that the alien Aishas have SIX ears is fantastic. I also like the spacesuit/helmet combo, and the red triangle at least accents the red color a bit if you choose to keep it on. I just wish they had done something fun and futuristic with the collar, instead of sticking to the standard version.

Darigan: The converted version of this pet isn't terrible, but the unconverted version is fantastic. The thin body looks great, almost snake-like, and the pointed tail matches the tall ears, which are given a delightful devil-horn look. The spots help break up the body a bit, as does the addition of an underbelly, and the collar changes shape to a D for darigan, which is fun.

Mutant: Mutant Aishas, my beloved! What a great design. Replacing the second pair of ears with mouths and then accenting the pink lips with floppy, tongue-like spikes on the back is just great, with the pink working great against the blue. Bonus shoutout for the singular eye and the mutated "A" on the collar. My only nitpick is that the collar tag should've been the lighter teal of the stripes on the ears, and the band should've been pink.

BONUS: I'm cheating by including this, but I have to give a shout-out to the baby Aisha for being downright adorable with its little binky collar and soft blue color. I'm not usually big on baby pets, but this one's actually pretty great.

[s-lycopersicum]

I was mindlessly watching the news one day, then the coverage of an art exhibition started being shown. I always felt a bit alienated about things like that, since opportunities to get up-close-and-personal to art only ever seem to happen very far from where I live. But this time, the sculptor's surname felt a bit familiar, so I tuned in a bit more.

In a huge, airy space with tall ornate columns, several large shapes are carefully displayed. They each are made of simple forms, solid plates in straight lines, allowing for the occasional curve, all with a very "geometrical" flavor to it, and everything very colorful. I imagine it would be very impressive to witness all of in person, instead of lounging in my sofa a meter or so from a small TV.

Then, as if reading my mind, the reporter describes how the artist wished to do away with the idea that art is a distant, untouchable thing, and wished to be where the people are. And I remembered why his name felt so familiar.

There was this park in my hometown, just this small grassy field. In the middle of it rested a large angular monument, a cuboid easily twice my height. Thick steel plates painted red, soldered to one another in right angles, resting impressively well on only three spots.

When we were kids, me and my friends would spend a lot of time on it, trying to climb to the very top, sliding of its gentle slopes, or simply resting on it as if was just a very weird bench. And on one of its plates, I remember noticing a name inscribed, distinctive enough to make an impression, but that I never looked into any further.

It was Weissmann. Franz Weissmann, the name of the sculptor shown on TV, being featured on a whole art exhibition in large city so far away.

The report goes on to say he wanted people to see his work from up close, to touch and feel them, instead of just looking from a distance. He is quoted as saying that "the ideal place for a sculpture is in people's memory". And I can say he achieved that, at least.

[cellarspider]

Spider's Big Prometheus Thing: Index Post

Being a list of all the posts produced in the course of this inexplicable project of mine. This project is now complete, at an unexpectedly extensive thirty entries long.

I swear, I didn't intend for it to go like that, but it was fun to write.

All entries have at least a minimum level of citations for where to start looking for more facts on any subject external to the movie itself, which includes everything from how DNA is sequenced to how Nickolodeon slime is made, and from the comedy in mislabeled portraits of early church fathers to the correct attribution of a cat's contributions to historical linguistics.

Be aware that there's also hidden rambling and bonus facts in the image alt text. A lot of them.

0. Introduction

Setting the scene, including my background, my intent, and where this movie is going.

1. Opening

Expectations, landscapes, and aliens.

Rambles: DNA, whether aliens would have it, and why it doesn't look like a pale bacon ladder.

Alt-text rambles: nano-bubbles.

2. Discovery

The Isle of Skye is gorgeous, the movie attempts to establish its themes, and why it had already got my hackles up. Rambles: how cool ancient and pre-modern peoples were, the implications of humanoid figures in European cave paintings, and misplaced lions. Alt-text rambles: seriously, Skye is just so cool. Erich von Däniken and modern publishing royalties are not.

3. David

We meet the loneliest android, and his fandom of choice. Rambles: I go nuts for a paragraph over Proto-Indo-European. Alt-text rambles: Help me remember a dude's name, that time Ron Perlman saw Sigourney Weaver do something so cool he forgot to act, and a Coronation Street conspiracy theory.

4. Humans (Derogatory)

We meet the human crew, and analyze why they're a mismatch to the movie's established expectations, and what subgenre they fit in most. It isn't the one the movie seems to be aiming for. Rambles: 50s B-movies and their Men Of Science, modern movies and their quietly suffering scientists. Alt-text rambles: inconsistently moist characters, Idris Elba's christmas tree decorations.

5. Pseudoarchaeology (Extremely Derogatory)

We meet Old Man Capitalism, poor logistics, and how the movie began to really lose me through dropping in some racist pseudoscience tropes. Rambles: more logistics (of alien bioengineering), historical art styles, what the world was getting up to in the 600s CE Alt-text rambles: Linguistics, more ranting, the life and extraordinarily ornate death of Kʼinich Janaabʼ Pakal. Rants: the existence of writing, people who don't look like you can still think, stargazing and how conspiracy theorists don't understand it.

6. Roads

Poor firearm safety with Chekhov's Gun, when movies move too fast, atmospheric chemistry, and the moment I began to yearn for blood. Rambles: First contact protocols, why 3% CO₂ won't kill you but it will make you weird, my personal experience digging up a Roman road. Alt-text rambles: the logistics of securing items in moving craft, linguistics, atmospheric science, colorblind-friendly diagram design, swearing about orology, and cursing the crew for their fictional crimes against archaeology. Rants: Why they should've stayed in orbit, and my impassioned defense of historically significant transportation infrastructure.

7. Masking

The bit that made most people realize these characters were idiots. Featuring an attempt at themes. Rambles: NASA's policies on biological contaminants Alt-text rambles: Benedict Wong having nothing to do, helmet design, driving on dusty track, the tiny overlap between archaeological horrors and Minecraft, the CDC's excellent captions on men sneezing. Rants: Nominating a man for the Heinrich Schliemann Archaeology Award, all these people are catching space covid

8. Ghosts

Comparing the Engineers to their series antecedents, and I develop a slight soft spot for the geologist. Rambles: Set design in Alien, how carbon dating works. Alt-text rambles: Adventure games, GET DOWN MISTER PRESIDENT, I get very excited for Dune: Part Two, the archival devotion of people with rare blorbos.

9. Dignity

Personal, professional, social, and media context for the treatment of people's remains. Rambles: Personal experiences around the archaeological discovery of human skeletons, professional codes of ethics, movies that handle dead bodies better by being more crass about it. Alt-text rambles: None, the main text gets full focus this time.

10. Atmosphere

How intertextual imagery is overused, how the one major character arc is developing, and a whole grab bag of miscellaneous shambolic events. Rambles: How tourist-breath can destroy artifacts, and a deleted scene Alt-text rambles: Whether explaining mysteries is always the wrong decision in fantasy, the usefulness of helmets, Mass Effect's loading screens, please someone give me more recommendations for things where Giger creatures aren't all bad, and how cultural variation in gestures can make you look like an asshole. Rants: they aren't done desecrating the dead oh boy it's just gonna get worse

11. Decontamination

How to present an audience with events that make no sense, how to do it eerily, and how Prometheus does this by accident. Rambles: NASA's Apollo 11 quarantine policies Alt-text rambles: How 2001: A Space Odyssey put on a cosmic lightshow, how traditions are faked for political and social power in Midsommar, confusing lab equipment, robot arm safety, the use of camper vans in space exploration, umarell behavior, and robot horror movies. Bonus text rambles: pressurized gas cylinder safety, and how the cargo of one truck apparently tried to join Roscosmos. Rants: Laboratory safety

12. Shocking

Mary Shelly would not be proud of them. Rambles: Which home electrical appliances their tomfoolery is equivalent to. Alt-text rambles: Semiotics and Alien, reuse of props and art department equipment, the cast's inability to look at things, how the first chestburster scene intelligently incorporated spontaneity, and I completely lose my mind over a single computer readout, finding out in the process that the Engineers are close cousins to the common house mouse. Rants: I didn't think that "don't stick electrical plugs in people's ears" would be something that needed to be said, but here we are.

13. Family Tree

A soothing ramble about some of the cool bits of my job. Rambles: How evolution has made some vertebrate blood white or green, how genomes are sequenced, and how to determine the relatedness of species. And more. A lot more. I love my job. It's so cool. Alt-text rambles: How Nickelodeon slime was made, how hecking tiny molecules are, why blue-tongued skinks have blue tongues, my review of Dune: Part Two, how hard I worked to not turn Gene Wilder into a jumpscare, lots of enthusiastic explanations of DNA sequencing techniques, the aesthetics of the machines wot do that for you, how "snip" no longer sounds like a verb to me, and how I started out as a computational scientist.

14. Cheers

David poisons a man, and how his character arc ties into christian-influenced existential dread. Rambles: series continuity, gnostic theology, Ridley Scott's beliefs. Alt-text rambles: How to ruin petri dishes, Vickers' questionably carbon-based existence, the game of Operation, hand doubles in filming, how the funniest possible misidentification of an early church figure is wandering around the internet, the cool genders of suit actors, gnostic Archons, and the Engineers as Sophia. Rants: Holloway seems unaware that archaeologists study dead people, Ridley Scott is his own biggest problem.

15. Unworthy

The movie does something I'm not going to joke about. Don't read this if you're having a bad day. Big content warning for Holocaust imagery.

16. Intimacy

Your asexual commentator grapples with Hollywood's terrible track record on romantic and sexual chemistry. Rambles: Why we don't say an archaic-looking species is "older" than another, how religious scientists do what they do Alt-text rambles: the human family tree, Abbott and Costello, pitcher plant cultivars, the creative possibilities of a Buddhist version of this movie, and Stephen Still's lack of accordions. Rants: I've never been a boyfriend but I'm pretty sure that's not how you do it

17. Threat

Prometheus takes a hard turn into old slasher movie tropes. Rambles: A movie trailer that gave Wee Spider the screaming heebies Alt-text rambles: The age rating of Prometheus, a spontaneous X-Files crossover AU, Pitch Black, how likely it may or may not be that the images in the post will get flagged, critter behavior, insufficient EVA suit design, and the content balancing I take into account when selecting screenshots. Rants: This movie does not seem to know what it is. Alt-text rants: Ditto, focusing on characterization.

18. Flames

"Mac wants the flamethrower!" Rambles: I wandered off in the middle to watch a 40k comedy video, does that count? Alt-text rambles: More content-balancing, what kind of very English critter David appears to be, dune buggy design, Star Wars: The Old Republic is worth your time, Dune: Part Two is worth your time, an extremely long ramble about integration of CG background elements, and Oblivion memes. Alt-text rants: Movie color grading and lighting, undercutting scares.

19. Stars

The movie shows how good it can be when no dialog is involved. Rambles: The movie Contact and how Prometheus could've learned from it. Alt-text rambles: How I estimate large numbers from a still image, a brief Baldur's Gate 3 appearance, the set design and staging of a room made for giants with squishy computers, the use of color to make a cohesive scene, facts about Uranus, visual intimation of threat, VFX wizardry, practical FX wizardry, Michael Fassbender's wordless acting.

20. Expectant

The movie shows how good it can be when character choice is removed from the horror. Rambles: the inspiration and place of chestbursting in Alien movies, the continuing religious symbolism in the movie, the clunky dialog, how to build or undermine tension, and the good blending of practical and CG effects, and how tiny creatures of the ocean manage to be more uncanny than horror critters. Alt-text rambles: reading details the prop department never meant for you to see. Alt-text Rants: the return of the head-exploder and the first sight of actual PPE, slowly mangling a plot point's name until it has been thoroughly folded, spindled, and mutilated.

21. Underdelivered

The movie shows how terrible it can be when horror doesn't build tension. Rambles: Contortionists in horror, hillbilly horror/hixploitation movies. Alt-text rambles: Resident Evil 7, Dead Space and "strategic dismemberment"

22. Hubris

The movie tries to do some themes again Rambles: my ineffable desire to genetically sequence ditch weeds, Left Behind Alt-text rambles: Brad Dourif's commitment to the bit in The Two Towers, nigh-invisible wheelchair product placement, the Fallout series in general and the upcoming show in particular, praise for an epic-length critique of Left Behind, Robert Zemeckis' bizarre quest to mocap everything Rants: This movie does a terrible job representing both religiosity and atheism

23. Informed

Exposition is delivered, and plot points try to knit together. Rambles: The Silent Hill movie, Pacific Rim Alt-text rambles: Pyramid Head's secret unclothed backside, demanding environmental enrichment for scientists, greebling, Tumblr's favorite shitty copper merchant Rants: What could've been done instead of an exposition dump and daddy issues Alt-text rants: these people and their interior design are tempting fate and testing my patience

24. Inscribed

I go rogue and ramble about constructed languages and cuneiform for an entire post. Guest appearances from Klingon pop music and a delightfully eccentric Assyriologist. Rambles: All of it. Alt-text rambles: the self-awareness of conlangers, fingernail length, Schleischer's Fable as a warm-up for the next section, my primary conlang derangement, speculation about whether cuneiform was legible for the blind, my beef with the cowards at Lucasfilm for refusing to use Star Wars' coolest letters, my love for Warframe's Grineer, going into far too much detail about redesigning Prometheus' Engineer script, and finally, the many crocodiles of ancient egyptian hieroglyphs. Rants: None/all of it

25. Judgement

We discuss some of what the movie doesn't. Rambles: Fiction and morality, Blade Runner, biblical allusions the story could've made and doesn't Alt-text rambles: Lance Henriksen's insane career, the paintings of John Martin and a surprise George Washington, Rutger Hauer's effect on Blade Runner, my tentative plans for the next essay series. Rants: Germs, old man makeup. Alt-text Rants: The characters are reading ahead in the script again, the half-assed Engineer writing system continues to hurt me

26. Awoken

I go bananas over PIE. Rambles: fix-it fic for this damned movie, PIE, how to avoid PIE, how to analyze PIE, and my personal alternative to PIE. Alt-text rambles: calculating how long the Engineer's overslept, their potential spiritual kinship to Moominpapa, behind the scenes photos of the suit actors, Prometheus rants in the days of LiveJournal, the game Hades, how hard it personally is to get PIE right, the linguistics nerdery of the Hittite empire, and watermarks. Rants: how the movie fails its premise and hurts my soul with linguistics

27. Shortcomings

The characters, and movie, fail to get their message across to someone bent on their destruction. Rambles: David's confused religious symbolism, Star Trek Alt-text rambles: My desire for fanfic, behind the scenes photos, what other critters the Engineer's suit actor has played, the naming of Australopithecines, crash-proofing a movie set, alien gender, Gandahar and how French animated SF in the 80s was awesome, Scorn and its expert consultation from a cenobite, and Doctor Strangelove. Rants: the assumptions of the human characters, I go from trying to be measured to actively spiting the writer for his take on thoughtful SF Alt-text Rants: Del Toro is the only one who gets me, the movie has forgotten its main character just had a major surgery, one last rant about how terribly unsafe the Prometheus was as a ship, before it becomes definitively not a ship.

28. Momentum

It's the bit where she doesn't turn. Rambles: How to fix the dumbest thing we've seen in a hot minute, Edge of Tomorrow and feeling Tom Cruise's fear, how the dead thing is never really dead in horror. Alt-text rambles: How hard it is to find the most catchy song in We Love Katamari, more behind the scenes pictures of my blorbos, Friday the 13th Part IV, bad braille, and trilobites. Rants: I mean how can you not when the movie forgets how space works? Like, the idea of 3D space as a concept? Also, a particular rock earns my ire, and my ranting about interior designs on ships finally pays off.

29. Dissonance

The ending of the movie, and its tonal incoherency. Rambles: Protagonist-centric morality and lack thereof Alt-text rambles: Star Trek TNG, green blood, caecilian teeth. Rants: shallow christian themes, sequels that could have been, Shaw's confusingly deployed robo-racism Alt-text rants: sequel disappointments, inadvisable post-caesarian activities, how the hell do you fit that much 'burster into one chest, biological plausibility in alien extend-o-mouths

30. Justification

A breakdown of a post-release interview with Ridley Scott, explaining some missing details. Rambles: Gnosticism again, Mesoamerican and European human sacrifice and the exoticization of shared cultural practices, and a hearty book recommendation. Alt-text rambles: Icelandic volcanoes, The Collector (2009), Stephen Speilberg's War of the Worlds and how scaring the shit out of someone isn't necessarily the job of a horror film, the Tollund Man, unique cultural practices, Hello Future Me, and my opinions on what we've seen of Alien: Romulus. Rants: Ancient peoples weren't stupid, an unexamined christian-centric worldview, an unexamined christian-centric worldview, I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGh

[oh-snapperss]

canvas

hello all! i come bearing a short, sweet oneshot for a mostly-lighthearted painting au with @hitheeprithee!

Pairing: Renthubs

Words: 1988

Warnings: None!

Read on AO3

The couch was a mess. So was the coffee table, floor, and even the other table a few feet away. Right in the middle of all the textbooks and scattered papers and notebooks sat Etho, cross legged in the middle of the couch with his laptop balanced across his knees. If Ren hadn’t known better, he would’ve thought this was the result of several days of frantic studying and no cleanup time.

But no–all of it had come from Etho’s backpack, which was lying on the floor in the middle of the room. Close to it, Bdubs was sitting on a kitchen stool, painting what Ren assumed was going to be the backdrop of whatever project Bdubs had been tasked with painting.

Bdubs straightened the moment he saw Ren, a smile gracing over his features. Over on the couch, Etho didn’t look up, but Ren knew his presence had been noted by the way Etho’s typing had slowed.

“Ren! You’re here!” Bdubs hopped off his stool completely, stretching up. “Thank goodness.”

“I know, it took me forever. The traffic was ridiculous,” Ren grumbled, before crossing over to Etho. It felt a bit like some sort of floor-is-lava game, trying not to step on any of Etho’s mess. “Etho.”

“Mm?” Etho glanced up, before typing a few more seconds. Then he pulled down his headphones, giving Ren his full attention. “What’s up?”

Ren would be lying if he said his heart didn’t squeeze a bit at the dark, stressed circles under Etho’s eyes. Etho’s major was a complicated one–multiple majors, actually, and all of them involving math and numbers and lines of code that Ren personally thought looked like some sort of nuclear war code. Or maybe just some sort of alien language from Mars. “I brought you something.”

He held out the plastic bag, hoping he’d remembered right. “You skip lunch too much. Brought you some pasta from that spot down the road. You like that stuff, right?”

If Ren was being honest, he was pretty sure he knew Etho’s order by heart, since Etho tended to get the same four things anytime the three of them went to get food. But admitting that felt weird, all things considered. Ren had Bdubs’ preferences memorized too–but Bdubs actually remembered to eat, so it wasn’t as much of a thing he could do for Bdubs.

Etho blinked, as if he wasn’t quite sure what to do with the gesture. Inwardly, Ren tried not to cringe–if he’d gotten it wrong, this was going to be so awkwa-

Etho’s eyes crinkled in the exact way Ren recognized meant Etho was happy. Ren had seen Etho without his mask a few times, but Etho usually took bites when neither Ren nor Bdubs was watching, and the two of them tried to be careful about not looking over while he ate for that. Still, Ren had come to memorize the different ways Etho’s eyes expressed his feelings–and with Etho’s apparent pleasedness, Ren felt his shoulders fall in relief and his own grin spreading across his face.

“Thanks, Ren,” Etho set his laptop on the coffee table, before reaching up for the bag. “You didn’t have to bring me anything.”

“I know,” Ren said quietly. He couldn’t help but let his smile grow softer, into something meant to stand in for a confession since he didn’t have the guts to ask Etho out–and he wasn’t sure if Etho would say yes. “I wanted to make sure you had something even though this project is taking up so much time.”

Etho nodded, his eyes crinkling further. Ren cleared his throat after a moment, before gesturing back behind him. “I’m gonna… check on Bdubs. If you wanna eat before that’s cold.”

Ren turned his back to Etho, just catching a blur of Etho pulling his mask down as he turned. Bdubs had gone back to his backdrop, but Ren caught the smirk on his face that told him Bdubs was not oblivious to how smitten Ren’s expression probably was. Ren tried his best to wipe it–not super successfully, considering the yearning wasn’t just for Etho. Bdubs thought it was, but Ren just hadn’t found the place to tell Bdubs otherwise yet.

“What are you painting, baby?” Ren peered at the painting, frowning. “I don’t see a–what’s the word–central point?” Ren didn’t know much about the artistic terms for what Bdubs did, but he’d learned pieces here and there from Bdubs’ rambling and just watching him paint. This piece was as beautiful as anything else Bdubs painted, but whatever was meant to be in the center seemed to be missing.

“Ah, yeah, about that-” Bdubs grimaced. “They want me to paint someone. Like, a real life human being!”

“Ah,” Ren shook his head–Bdubs was a scene painter at heart, known for his skylines, nature, and sunrise paintings. “Not what you usually paint, but I’m sure it’ll be gorgeous. You’re always blowing me away with how great your stuff looks.”

“Yeah but–this is different!” Bdubs waved his arms in the air, sending paint droplets flying. “People are–they’re alive!”

“Wonderful observation,” Etho deadpanned from the couch.

“Shut up!”

“Who are you gonna paint?” asked Ren hurriedly, valiantly withholding a laugh.

“You,” Bdubs said immediately. “I’ve practiced with you, and I don’t have anyone else-” his eyes glanced towards the couch, “-to paint right now.”

“Right, yeah,” Ren shook his head minutely. They couldn’t ask Etho now, while he was so stressed out. “Do you want me to sit now, or later?”

“Later,” Bdubs waved Ren off. “I need to finish the background.”

“Hold on-” Ren stayed right where he was. “Tell me about your vision here.” Etho wasn’t done eating, and Ren didn’t want to make him uncomfortable by going back too soon.

“Well, I was thinking–” Bdubs launched into a discussion about his backdrop, pointing at various points and gesturing with his paintbrush. Ren nodded along, mostly zoned out. Nothing Bdubs did ever quite made sense to Ren, but it was nice to see Bdubs so excited about his art. It was the same with Etho–computers were far beyond Ren’s comprehension, an issue that had caused many a woe for Ren and equally many problems for Etho, who typically fixed whatever Ren had done wrong in the first place. Ren focused back on Bdubs, noting the speck of paint that Bdubs had somehow gotten on his eyebrow. It was cute, even if Ren knew Bdubs would curse it later.

A few minutes later, Bdubs waved Ren off again, and Ren returned to the couch where Etho had replaced his mask and sunk back into his haze of coding. Glancing around, Ren frowned at all the papers surrounding Etho.

“Hey, Etho-” Ren nudged Etho’s knee with his own, giving a warm smile when Etho’s head snapped up from his laptop, posture straightening in an instant. He lifted a headphone off his ear with a question in his eyes, and Ren shrugged helplessly at the mess. “Is it okay if I move a few things to sit?”

“Hm?” Etho blinked, then seemed to process a moment later before he was placing his laptop down and scrambling to gather the papers. “Sorry, this is a mess–course you can sit, didn’t mean to get this bad-”

“Etho, baby, you’re fine,” Ren knelt down and picked up a couple notebooks, offering them to Etho. “I don’t mean to interrupt your work-” (a lie. Ren always wanted to interrupt Etho’s work if it meant Etho would smile at him) “-just want to sit down while Bdubs works.”

Etho shoved his notebooks haphazardly into his backpack, organized in a way Ren knew wasn’t organized at all and would give Bdubs a heart attack. As they settled back in, Ren found himself sitting closer to the middle than he’d originally meant, but Etho didn’t seem to mind, settling back into his original spot. Thanks to the couch being as old as it was, it sank right down with both of them on it.

Ren sucked in a quiet, barely measured breath when Etho’s leg landed against his, pressed up closer than he’d had Etho possibly ever. Ren braved enough to look over at Etho, who seemed stiff. “Sorry, I can move-”

“It’s fine,” Etho’s voice cracked. “‘S just the couch. You can keep sitting.”

He could keep sitting. If Ren was being truthful, it was all he wanted in the moment, to sit next to Etho and feel the warmth of one of the persons he dreamed about holding. He couldn’t exactly say that out loud, though, he had to play it cool. So he nodded, holding back his ecstatic feelings at Etho allowing this.

The thing was–Etho wasn’t exactly a touchy person. And Ren was. And that was fine! It was completely fine that Etho didn’t want to touch anyone (as far as Ren knew). In the months since Ren had first taken his dying laptop to Etho as a cry for help, before winding up friends and eventually bringing him along to Bdubs’ work area, Etho had never once initiated anything, preferring to keep his distance. Every so often, Ren had thought that maybe Etho wanted that after all–when he caught that indescribable look in Etho’s eyes when Ren embraced Bdubs.

Ren knew better, but he couldn’t help the quiet dream sometimes.

So for now, Ren sat where he was, before leaning forward and plucking one of Etho’s papers off the coffee table that hadn’t been cleaned up in the flurry of Etho’s frantic efforts. Noting Etho had angled his headphones to leave the ear closest to Ren uncovered, Ren made a show of examining the notes on the paper, which of course, was utter gibberish.

“Aye, that be a demon’s scrawl,” Ren spoke in his dramatic voice that he typically saved for the most dramatic of scenarios, and wrinkled his face at the equations “There's numbers in there, so it has to be math, but that be evil math, laddie.”

He caught the familiar wrinkling of Etho’s eyes, and grinned himself, bringing the papers up to his nose. “Yee seems to be trapped by the evil demon of the math building. I recommend we dispose of the thing posthaste.”

Etho burst into giggles, and Ren couldn’t help the flood of joy that ran through him at the sound. Over by the canvas, Bdubs’ hand stopped painting, which Ren knew meant Bdubs was just as enamored at the noise.

“The paper or the math demon?” Etho tried to match Ren’s accent, but it didn’t work, and Ren found himself giggling at Etho’s own antics. “I’m not sure about murdering my professor…”

“We must free yee from them! Otherwise I fear you’ll be lost,” Ren composed himself, peering at Etho with a solemn expression. “We’d hate to lose you to the evil maths.”

Etho’s eyes kept dancing with merriment, but he shook his head. “It’s too late for me, I think.”

“Nooooo!” Ren tossed his head back dramatically, throwing the paper into the air in mock despair. “We lost our Etho! Bdubs, can yee believe the tragedy?”

“Unbelievable,” Bdubs muttered.

The second giggle from Etho made it so, so worth it, even if Ren had to retrieve the paper and return it to the coffee table. Catching Bdubs’ eye, Ren raised his eyebrows. You think?

Bdubs shrugged.

Ren left Etho to study after that, but he pondered his own question even once Bdubs called him over to pose for his painting. Ren knew that he liked Bdubs and Etho–and Bdubs knew Ren liked Etho. Etho, however, was a mystery to them both. Ren wasn’t even sure if Etho was interested in any form of relationship, with anything.

He’d ask Bdubs out soon, probably. Etho was just… a mystery.

That didn’t keep Ren from daydreaming about holding both their hands.

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hi! Do you think Armand was like ''Lestat Lestat Lestart' because he can see Louis hallucinating Lestat by reading his mind. It would be really awkward. Do you also think Louis can read Armand 's mind? As an old vampire he can probably block his thoughts but if I was Louis it would be weird for me to have my companion hiding his thoughts,like, do you have something to hide from me even after 77 years??

Sooooo....

Armand can definitely read Louis' mind, though it is debatable if he always does it. However, we have seen in the scene from August (at the Murder Mansion) that he does indeed do so, because he comments on Louis withholding and Claudia being able to mask her thoughts (contrary to Louis).

The thing about Armand and Lestat is... I mean you've seen the trailer. There's history. Armand... loves Lestat. Wants him. Desires him. Lestat rejected him, for reasons. Good reasons, and actually valid reasons. But... that hurt, of course. It's a complicated relationship.

(In the book Lestat goes to Armand to beg for Louis' life, and tells him about Louis, which makes Armand even more interested in Louis. We'll see how they spin it here.)

So along comes Louis, Lestat's lover (/partner / (arguably) husband) (and fledgling). But lover is way more significant here, because of the history Armand has with Lestat. Louis, and Claudia, who dared to hurt Lestat. (And which is ultimately why Claudia will die. Louis only does not because Armand (luckily) actually falls in love with him.)

Armand... is canonically into kinky shit. Not kidding. Cuck chairs, spanking. I believe "The Vampire Armand" is generally still listed as erotica.

So. With that in mind...

Armand didn't mind Louis envisioning / hallucinating imho. At first. He probably found it funny, stimulating, interesting, fascinating, arousing. Depending on the situation.

(For example here. That is in the bar. The bar we know Lestat "shows up in" as well from the BTS photo.)

He probably ... let's say supported those visions, too, given his gift to spellbind. Conjure illusions.

It must have been very entertaining - for a while. Even while having sex. (Can I have a vision-Lestat/Loumand threesome? Pretty please?!^^)

Eventually though... it must have started to grate. (Understandably so.)

That shot of him doing that "Lestat, Lestat, Lestat, Lestat" rant - that is in that apartment the interview was in. So we KNOW that Louis was still going on about Lestat at that time.

(credit to @virginiaisforvampires, sorry couldn't find it in the search)

Now, in the book there is this speech by Armand, and I can see that happening in the show, too:

"I used to believe you would get over it—that when the pain of all of it left you, you would grow warm again and filled with love, and filled with that wild and insatiable curiosity with which you first came to me, that inveterate conscience, and that hunger for knowledge that brought you all the way to Paris to my cell. I thought it was a part of you that couldn’t die. And I thought that when the pain was gone you would forgive me for what part I played in her death. She never loved you, you know. Not in the way that I loved you, and the way that you loved us both. I knew this! I understood it! And I believed I would gather you to me and hold you. And time would open to us, and we would be the teachers of one another. All the things that gave you happiness would give me happiness; and I would be the protector of your pain. My power would be your power. My strength the same. But you’re dead inside to me, you’re cold and beyond my reach! It is as if I’m not here, beside you. And, not being here with you, I have the dreadful feeling that I don’t exist at all. And you are as cold and distant from me as those strange modern paintings of lines and hard forms that I cannot love or comprehend, as alien as those hard mechanical sculptures of this age which have no human form. I shudder when I’m near you. I look into your eyes and my reflection isn’t there...."

He actually thought Louis would... get over it.

Over Claudia's death. Over what happened with Lestat.

In the books, Louis and Armand part then. We'll see how they spin it here. Louis says they've been together for 77 years, but that might be hyperbole - Jacob said that Louis chose that relationship "again", and that would then fit with canon once more.

(I personally think this is one of the good-byes, if not "the".)

But either way... it probably wasn't awkward at first. But it was beyond annoying eventually.

As per Louis reading Armand's mind: yes, if and when Armand permits. Armand is a very, very powerful mind and spell gift user. Louis would not be able to do so against his will.

[laiqualaurelote]

Press Release: Spooky Action at a Distance Album Reveal

The London Music Register - Local Interest

Spooky Action At A Distance unveils cover art for their much awaited debut album

The Ambassadors meets The Breakfast Club

Perhaps even more difficult than snagging a ticket to one of SAAAD’s sold-out club shows is trying to describe the experience to your less-lucky friends afterwards.

Their sound defies basic mortal conventions such as genre, instead better described by critic buzzwords, namely, transcendent and explosive.

Four band mates of wildly different backgrounds and styles meet to produce something that’s both the ultimate sum of their ancestral influences and entirely, uniquely theirs. Their music unabashedly melds high and low art- what begins as a pop punk song flows seamlessly into an operatic verse, while another number features elements of a baroque dance suite in what can best be defined as a modern club anthem. Their lyrics are equally packed with esoteric references and universal emotions.

It shouldn’t work- but it does. And it’s delicious. In order to tide you over until the album release, we’ve got the first look at its cover art, and as a gift to fans, it’s visually indicative of the band’s layered sound.

Many of you may be familiar with The Ambassadors from school trips to the National Gallery. The painting’s a popular subject of debate for art historians due to its detailed subjects and metaphysical symbolism. It’s reproduced faithfully here, albeit with a few cheeky adjustments.

SAAAD frontwoman Crystal Palace (yes, that Crystal Palace!) takes the place of the leftmost figure, complete with lavish outfit and undeniable rockstar swagger.

Across from her, drummer Charles Rowland stands in a dark coat, sticks clutched in a gloved hand.

Bassist Niko Sasaki lays across the top shelf à la Molly Ringwald, dandelion-crowned head at Palace’s shoulder.

Center frame- the band’s ‘brain’: virtuoso Edwin Payne sits with a lute across his lap and the painting’s infamous distorted skull slashing across his legs. (Memento mori seems to be a prevalent theme in many of SAAAD’s songs, though they often turn it into a lively celebration)

Eagle eyed fans will notice a couple additions to Holbein’s instruments- a bear figurine, a lantern, and a cherry blossom branch among them. Are they references to the band’s lyrics? Hints at future projects?

One thing’s for sure, we cannot wait to see more of this group. *

Spooky Action At A Distance’s album is available for preorder at record stores all across London.

Next live show: Saturday night at the Catabasis (tickets required in advance)

Booking inquires should be sent to Jenny Green.

HELLO I LOVE THIS?! for those unfamiliar with The Ambassadors by Hans Holbein, it's a 16th-century painting most famous for the weird distorted shape in the foreground, which looks like an alien object but is an anamorphic skull that comes into view if you approach it from certain angles. It's absolutely perfect for this band AU, I am shrieking. my eternal thanks to you anon

I actually drafted, but did not put in the fic itself, the track listing for the band's debut album AFTERLIVES, complete with writing credits:

SKELETONS IN THE CLOSET (Payne)

ACES DACES (Rowland)

LEFT OVER RITE (Payne)

TANPOPO NO KAMISAMA (Sasaki)

STICKY CRICKET WICKET (Rowland)

GIRLS’ KNIVES OUT (Sasaki, Surname von Hoverkraft)

RESTLESS PIANO SYNDROME (Payne)

PICK UP WHAT YOU’RE PUTTING DOWN (Rowland)

BRACELET ABOUT THE BONE (Payne)

BURY THE EX (Surname von Hoverkraft)

LANTERN IN THE DARK (Payne)

STAIRWAY TO HELL (Payne, Rowland) 

(bonus track)

13. GOT THE HELL OUT OF HELL (WE AIN’T GOING BACK) (Payne, Rowland, Sasaki, Surname von Hoverkraft)

gig officially gigged

[whereserpentswalk]

You've been on a generational ship your entire life. There's about a million people on the ship, the population doesn't grow or shrink at all. Your entire life is and will be defined by a limited amount of room, a small space, barely large enough for everyone there to fit, that has become your entire world.

The humans that exist on generational ships are very alien to the humans that exist on planets. Your job is to maintain the ship and carry the culture of humanity but you don't need a human lifestyle to do it. Because reproduction needs to be done through artificial wombs all humans are neutered, with sterile sexless bodies. Everyone's job is determined by ship authority, and very dark things happen to those not able to perform some sort of duty. People spend the first fifteen years of their lives in virtual reality, learning about humanity in a simulation until they're ready to live as adults. Everything is so alien from the earth that you read about in books.

It wouldn't be so hard if society wasn't meant to resemble earth, meant to resemble the most conservative and traditional of earth. The American flags hanging up on the walls, despite everyone alive on board having never known America. The way the pods you live in have astroterf lawns, and fake blue skies painted above them, and the facades of American suburban homes. The way resources a distributed from things meant to look like family run stores, despite the monolithic power behind the economy. Even as monolithic as station authority is it still must dress as democracy, and must preach capitalism in a world with no markets, and patriotism in a world with no nations.

Despite your sexless body you're not free of performing gender. You wear dresses over your breastless neutered body, are expected to act feminine, to carry gender rolls into the planet you're going to. Your husband is expected to do the same for maleness. You love him but your situation feels like a performance with no audience. Despite having neither the instinctual desire nor the physical apparatus to you try to be physically intimate with him, it's what everyone does with their spouse, it would be weird not to.

Space isn't as empty as earth thought it would be. There are things that lurk in the void between stars. Nobody fully knows what they are, where they come from, even if they all come from the same place. Sometimes they put the ship in danger, sometimes the authorities make deals with them. But nobody is allowed to know. You're just all told to be afraid of them but not understand why you have to be afraid. The nightmares between stars aren't delt with with knowledge but with ignorance, they do seem creepy from the little you've seen of them but everyone kind of knows their power is being used for something by the station. Patriotism is always helped by having monsters beyond your borders.

Your entire you've dreamed of blue skies and stars and fields and forests and oceans and all those pretty things you've never seen, that you never will see. People always dream of being so high ranking they'll have access to suspended animation and life extension technology, but so few ever reach that rank. You've read all the classics they allow, read Dante, and Milton, and Homer, tried to let poetry bring you to earth but that planet is alien to you now. Sometimes you wonder what it would be like if you weren't raised in a world that copied earth, if you were accepted as a member of a race that lives on a ship, that exists so liminally. Would there still be such a longing. Mabye you shouldn't have been expected to meet a standard from another world. Mabye you weren't born to long for anything. Does it scare you to think you wouldn't want earth if they didn't tell you to?