#it led me to you

[kochei0]

I turn to Ares.

Thanks to Tyler Miles Lockett who allowed me to draw inspiration from his ARES piece for page 2! Look at his etsy page it's SICK

⚔️ If you want to read some queer retelling of arturian legends have a look at my webtoon

[krysmcscience]

I have some questions about karaoke night, Alex Hirsch. Very Important Questions. Which I will happily scream at a poor hapless baby triangle who can have no answers for me, and possibly also does not have object permanence yet.

Follow-up that is I guess suggestive, but let's be real here, Bill's a fucking triangle:

Dude slipped right into his birthday suit, lmao

this is so stupid :D

Anyway, I don't care what anyone says, this brilliant individual knows what's up - Bill is absolutely way more of a monsterfucker than Ford could or ever will be, full stop.

[negativegrl]

shirts that go hard: rock n' roll edition

[inkskinned]

even 2 years ago people still said autism with a whisper. it was also how people sometimes whisper lesbian, like they're afraid of uttering a slur. autistic was either an insult or it was something terrible, a horrible burden only select people endure. "select people" were usually 9 year old boys and skinny white men.

they are not hispanic young adults with a dog and a life and friends. i can make (sustained, calculated, painful) eye contact. with certain people, i don't even have to count how many seconds i am holding their vision - i can just look at them. i can wear clothes that bother me, i will just have a worse day than usual. i might cry about any changes to my schedule - but change is scary! this is normal!

when i was 16 it was OCD. i mean that was the thing everyone said. i totally have ocd. they would arrange 6 colors of gel pen in rainbow order (no worry for indigo feeling left out) and they'd be "so ocd" about it.

if you struggle with intrusive thoughts, be careful at this next paragraph, but. at 16 i developed a compulsion that involved self-harm. my ocd was convinced i was simply forgetting that i'd hurt someone terribly - a thought that persisted for no clear or delineated reason.

at some point i will probably write about how the idea of "morally pure thoughts" was hell for me and others with ocd, but this was the odd dichotomy for many of us: they liked our "aesthetic", but were genuinely repulsed by our lived experience. "intrusive thoughts" now means "cutting your hair in the sink" instead of talking yourself down from believing horrible things. "so ocd" is a label without any true understanding.

it's something i've talked about before - in multiplicity - but i firmly believe in the veracity and necessity of self-diagnosis. i think it saves lives and it saves tragedies from occurring. as someone raised in a house that wasn't safe, self-diagnosis was, for many years, the only viable option. 15 and honestly googling: am i depressed or are there demons affecting my behavior.

but it is not genuine self-diagnosis anymore, most of the time. it is a strange, blanched version of that whispered word autism. now certain traits are constantly seen as "autistic" - any passing intense interest. any flubbed social interaction. people say it while laughing - a touch of the 'tism.

and i like the acceptance! i do. i like that people are talking about it. i like that if i self-identify, more people speak up and say me too, bitch. but there is something-else quietly happening, the way it happened to OCD. the quirky, "fun" parts have been washed and sanitized and removed of all suffering. now it is just something that makes you "a little bit silly."

it took me 27 years on this planet before i learned to make friends. something about me just seems incredibly odd, i guess, some kind of radiation monitoring. someone once (in a way that was almost friendly) told me i am doing the right things, but in a way that's off-putting. i have scoured myself raw attempting to be charming.

someone on tiktok does a deep dive into their particular passion. the top comment says "what kind of autism is this lol". like we are a breed of animal. like it has no influence on our experience. like our life is a fresh breeze, an open meadow.

more often for me, life was a drowning.

[fruittt-punchhh]

(18+, toji smut ahead)

was thinking about sleepy! toji all night lowkeyyyyy

like when he gets home and he’s so tired he doesn’t even greet you, just grumbles and huffs like the old man he is??? kicks off his stupid boots and takes off his sweaty shirt as he draaaaags his feet to the couch??

sleepy! toji who needs comfort in a way only you can give. so tired he doesn’t tell you what to do and doesn’t ask either.

sleepy! toji who grabs your ankles, pulling your legs sideways on the couch before he finds place between them, stomach flat on the couch as he takes in your scent through the panties he bought you last week.

sleepy! toji who pulls your panties to the side just enough to get his tongue on you, diving nose first into your heat as he drinks straight from the source.

sleepy! toji who’s too tired to care what he looks like, all sweaty and mangled from work, his face buried in your cunt just how he pictured earlier in his shift - the pure filth that he was tainting the beautiful image of you, lost in pleasure with your soft skin all blushed and slick with sweat, just for him.

sleepy! toji who’s even too tired to care what he sounds like, moaning like the slut he is at heart as he enjoys his long-awaited meal.

sleepy! toji who gives you no time to recover after your orgasm, pushing your legs up by your face before he pulls his heavy cock through his zipper.

sleepy! toji who fucks you rough into the couch in missionary - not a usual contender on his list of favorite positions. his words are slurred, all drunk and dazed from his exhaustion - “let me see my pretty girl’s face, yeah?” he says after you cover your face in your arms, embarrassed at the display of intimacy that was usually absent.

sleepy! toji who still, at his most intimate, has you arching off the couch with each orgasm as you scream cries of his name, leaving you feeling so loved and simultaneously so fucked out of your mind.

sleepy! toji who’s noises are so much more present than usual, moans all drawn-out and loud as he loses himself in your sex. he begs you to cum again for him with a ‘please’, a word you haven’t heard from him in months.

sleepy! toji who’s fully gone now, panting out breathy praises as he watches you take all of him so well.

“so fuckin’ good, honey”

“take me - mmph, so well”

“this pretty.. fuckin’ cunt’s gonna.. make me cum,”

“jesus… christ, y/n”

sleepy! toji who pumps his load deep into your guts, still fucking you with lazy drags of his hips as he stares at you, lip bitten and eyes hooded before he pushes into you fully to give you a kiss goodnight.

(sleepy! toji who actually finds a towel for you first this time, stripping his remaining clothes with a ‘you comin’, baby?’ as he heads upstairs)

(sleepy! toji who is def the lil’ spoon tonight)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Normal Friend Behaviour.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[bg3storage]

✿ views from astarion's pretty clearing in the forest ✿

[mohntilyet]

illario as the grandchild that is most like caterina is something i'm loving to chew on. the grandson that took her lessons to heart the most. kill anyone who sees your face and knows your name, "we are not revolutionaries", the first out of the two to prioritise the contract. power at any cost, and the only one to lean into the unnecessary abuse that their grandmother told them was tradition. why is anyone surprised he allied with the venatori? and then there's illario's considerable skill in infiltration and manipulating any mark, he has always had the charisma that lucanis lacked. illario isn't attached, he has/can/will use someone and immediately drop them; "that does free me from promises i don't intend to keep". he can lie about how much he cares so well that he fools a magister into believing he loves her. he kills zara without hesitation to cover his own tracks, meanwhile lucanis blindly promises a young girl in the middle of a siege that he will help her find her father. even the lessons about family stick with him, and in this entire messy power struggle, he never actually orders anyone to directly kill caterina or lucanis, not until he's backed into a corner.

and even after all that. despite even lucanis believing illario should be first talon, lucanis is still the better killer. illario is not strong enough to be the brutal assassin caterina needs him to be. so when lucanis seems to fill the role his mother left, grief and love for her dead heir apparent remains, and any of the other qualities caterina needs in her next talon doesn't matter. whatever his mother was, lucanis has to be. what illario does doesn't matter, because he will always be second best to caterina's memory of her favored daughter.

[steddieas-shegoes]

it led me to you

chapter 2: sophomore year also on ao3

Chapter 1

****************

Two weeks before school started, Wayne gave Eddie a used van as a late 16th birthday/early Christmas gift.

It wasn’t pretty, it wasn’t fun, but it ran.

It was more than a van; it was Eddie’s ticket to independence.

But it was a stark reminder to Steve that he was one step closer to escaping the town he hated so much.

Steve’s sophomore year started…rough.

He made the Varsity basketball team this year, a year earlier than most people do, but when he called his dad to tell him, he got brushed off.

It’s not that he really expected anything different, it just kind of felt shitty that the one thing he thought his dad might actually be proud of meant nothing.

He’d gone straight to Eddie’s trailer after that phone call, didn’t even bother knocking. He hadn’t really had to knock since Christmas. This was more his home than his actual house.

Wayne was at work, Eddie was busy playing his guitar and didn’t even hear him come in, so he went straight to the kitchen to start cooking something.

He’d done it all summer for them, his way of thanking them for letting him into their lives and their home when they could just as easily keep him at arm’s length.

He planned to keep it up for as long as he could, knew his parents wouldn’t bother to come back more than a few times throughout the school year to keep up appearances that they cared.

He didn’t realize he was crying until a tear fell right onto the cutting board in front of him.

He sniffled, the realization crashing through him that his own parents didn’t even know where he was most of the time and probably didn’t care.

He could throw parties at home if he wanted to, hire a cleaning crew with the money they left for him to get food, probably find some seniors who knew how to get their hands on enough beer to stay stocked up. They’d never know.

He could start doing drugs, throw his life away one night at a time, make sure he never got anywhere outside of this town. They wouldn’t know until it was too late.

He could drop out of school when Eddie graduated, follow him wherever he goes, maybe find somewhere he was happy with the only person in the world who made him feel safe. His parents wouldn’t know until he was already gone.

But he wouldn’t do any of that.

He didn’t think anyone would actually come to those parties. The only people who would were his friends from Hellfire and they wouldn’t party so much as play some loud music and pass out by midnight.

He didn’t think any drugs sounded particularly appealing, and the one time he’d smoked weed with Eddie, he got a migraine and decided he didn’t like the dizzy feeling.

Eddie wouldn’t let him drop out, probably wouldn’t want him to come with him no matter where he ended up. He wanted to leave everything behind, and that would have to include Steve.

“Steve? When did you get here?” Eddie asked from behind him, his voice sounding excited.

“Oh. Just a little while ago,” he cleared his throat, hoping Eddie wouldn’t hear any hint of the tears still dripping down his face.

“Stevie, what’s wrong?”

Everything. Nothing when you’re here, though.

“Nothing. Just a long day,” Steve shrugged, continuing to cut up the onion he was using in the pasta sauce.

“Did something happen?” Eddie’s hand was on his shoulder, his attempt to comfort just making Steve want to cry more.

Steve couldn’t do it, he couldn’t bite back the sob his body had been trying to let out for the last few minutes.

As soon as it escaped, Eddie was pulling him against his chest, holding the back of his head and wrapping his arm around his back as tight as he possibly could.

“Is it Tommy or one of his idiots?” Eddie whispered, anger causing his voice to waver.

Steve shook his head.

Eddie didn’t need to know.

He could comfort him like he clearly wanted to do, and then Steve could go back to making dinner like he usually did, and they would forget any of this happened until the next time Steve’s dad upset him.

Rinse. Repeat.

“Is it your dad?”

Steve thought about lying. He didn’t actually think he’d get away with it, but since his birthday over the summer, they’d agreed that Eddie wouldn’t push. That was the last time his dad had done something to upset him like this.

Forgetting your only child’s birthday tends to be a little traumatic for the child, after all.

But instead of lying, he nodded.

Eddie didn’t push for more, thankfully.

He accepted that Steve was upset because of his dad, and just shifted right into being the shoulder, or in this case chest, to cry on.

They stood like that for a while, Steve’s silent tears almost more alarming than the sob.

He hadn’t really cried like this in a while, and Eddie kept pulling him in tighter every time he gasped for breath.

“Okay, I have to laugh about something,” Eddie said quietly, a smile could be heard in his voice.

“What?” Steve sniffed, not moving away from Eddie’s chest.

“You’re upset and the first thing you think to do is come over and start cooking dinner for us. Are you trying to take out your feelings on the onion? Were you gonna blame the crying on the onion? I’m startin’ to feel bad for the onion.”

Steve let out a loud laugh, startling them both.

“I just wanted to do something to be proud of,” Steve mumbled.

Eddie pulled away a bit, looking down at Steve with a worried gaze.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just that I’m pretty average at everything. I get by in school, I get by with D&D, I do pretty good at sports, but that doesn’t really mean anything. But I’m good at taking care of you and Wayne. I’m good at making you guys food and helping with stuff around the house and like, being your friend, I guess.”

Steve wanted to hide, curl back into Eddie’s chest, where he was safest from the outside world.

Instead, Eddie pulled away further, letting his hands drop to his sides.

“Stevie, your worth isn’t based on how much you’re able to accomplish or how well you do something. You know that right?”

Steve shrugged.

Deep down, yeah, he did know that. But on the surface, especially when he was bruised a bit from his dad’s dismissal earlier, he recognized that he was much better at barely getting by than thriving.

“I don’t know what happened with your dad, but I know that he has no right to say or do anything to make you feel average. He’s the most below average dad besides mine that I know of.”

Eddie was upset, and Steve didn’t want that, so he tried to think of a distraction. Anything that would get the attention away from himself.

“What were you playing on guitar when I got here?”

It was a shitty attempt to distract him, they both knew it.

Eddie couldn’t resist talking about music though, especially not when it was something he was teaching himself.

“I’m gonna let you change the subject for now, but there will be consequences.” Steve just turned back to the counter to continue cutting the onion as Eddie pulled himself up onto the counter next to him to talk. “I got a new record today and I’ve been trying to learn the solo for one of the songs.”

Eddie could play by ear, it was impressive. Steve knew that was rare, that a lot of people had to actually study music and take lessons before they could even attempt to learn a song. Eddie could usually listen to a song a few times and have most of the notes down.

Steve once watched him listen to a Judas Priest song twice and play along with it perfectly the third time.

“What’s the record?”

“Diary of a Madman.”

“Ozzy?”

He was met with silence.

When he finally looked up, worried that maybe Eddie had somehow died without falling off the counter, Eddie was staring at him with his mouth open, eyes wide in shock.

“How do you know that?”

“It was on your list,” Steve shrugged, turning back to the counter to dice up some tomatoes.

“The list that I keep hidden in my room?”

“It’s not really hidden when it’s taped above your bed.”

Steve slept over often, and they really didn’t see a point in making him sleep on the couch or Eddie sleeping on the couch when they’d already shared a bed before during Christmas. He had everything in Eddie’s room memorized, down to the exact location of his latest addition to the dirty socks that ended up under his bed. All the rest of his clothes always made it to the basket, but never the socks.

Naturally, he watched Eddie’s list of records he wanted to buy grow almost by the day. He added more than he could afford to scratch off, and Steve intended on buying as much from the list for him for Christmas as he could.

“Okay, but I didn’t put who it was on the list.”

“I just checked into it.”

Eddie gave him a side eye.

“Why? You hate Ozzy.”

“I don’t hate Ozzy. Just like I don’t hate any of your music. It’s just very…loud.”

Eddie barked out a laugh.

“Yeah, it is that. Well, moving on from your suspicious behavior!” Eddie clapped his hands together. “I think I got most of it. There’s a really complicated chord change halfway through that he’s never done before and every time I think I have it, I end up missing a note.”

“You’ll get it eventually.”

“Yeah. But unfortunately for you and Wayne, you have to listen to me not getting it for a bit longer.”

“When’s Wayne gonna be home?” Steve had mostly memorized his schedule, but he sometimes worked extra shifts or overtime with little notice.

“He hasn’t called to let me know if he’s running late so I guess same time as usual,” Eddie hopped off the counter, ruffling Steve’s hair before he walked back to his bedroom.

Steve focused back on the sauce now simmering on the stove, the pot of water just starting to boil. He added the box of pasta, a teaspoon of olive oil, and a pinch of salt.

It didn’t take long for him to forget about his conversation with his dad, especially once Wayne got home and gave him a quick side hug before he went to shower off the remnants of his day.

Sophomore year was challenging.

Steve was never very good at science, and algebra was kicking his ass this year.

He was still passing everything, but barely.

Before they went on Christmas break, Steve asked Nancy Wheeler if she could tutor him since he was in some of his classes despite being a freshman.

She agreed, but said the only time she could do it was right after his basketball practice on Tuesdays.

Tuesdays were the nights Eddie held Hellfire.

Her tutoring would only be for an hour, so maybe he’d be willing to move the start time a little. For anyone else in the club, he probably wouldn’t, but for Steve he would.

Wouldn’t he?

“You need me to move Hellfire? Because of…basketball?”

So maybe Steve wasn’t being entirely honest about the why, but he was embarrassed and he didn’t want Eddie to know that he had to turn to a younger student just to pass his classes.

“It’s just extra practice because I’m on varsity now.”

He felt the guilt hit him instantly.

Lying to Eddie wasn’t something he did. Sometimes he didn’t talk about something, but that wasn’t lying, just protecting himself.

This was blatant lying.

To his best friend.

“Right. Uh. I guess I can talk it over with everyone and make sure it won’t get in the way of anyone’s curfew if we run a bit later?”

“Really?” Steve started bouncing on his toes, temporarily forgetting the guilt he was feeling at the idea of Eddie changing the time just for him.

“Yeah. Basketball is important to you for some reason, so I can figure it out,” he said with an understanding smile.

Within two days, everyone was on board with changing the time enough to make it possible for Steve to still participate in their campaign.

During their last meeting before break, Steve thanked everyone with homemade cookies.

Steve enjoyed his Christmas break with Wayne and Eddie again, not the least bit surprised when the annual letter and gifts from his parents arrived without them at the door.

It still stung a bit, even when he got to spend the break with Wayne and Eddie again.

But they ate their spaghetti for breakfast and drank enough coffee for Eddie to almost literally be bouncing off the walls.

They were a family.

Nancy didn’t fuck around.

The second day back from break was their first tutoring session.

She handed him already-made flash cards, a binder of highlighted notes, and a printout of a sample test.

“By next month, you’ll be able to get everything correct on this test.”

“Uh. Okay,” Steve said, a little scared over how prepared she was.

She spent the next 30 minutes explaining the highlighting system, exactly what he would need to study, how often he would need to study, and then the first assigned homework in algebra.

His head was reeling as he made his way to Hellfire.

Nancy was overwhelming, but he did actually feel confident that he understood the homework for the first time all year, so she was at least effective.

“He’s here!” Gareth yelled as soon as he walked into the drama room.

“And not as sweaty as I expected,” Imogene said.

“Don’t sound so disappointed,” Eddie smirked.

He walked up to Steve and gave him a once over, head tilting slightly.

“She’s right though. Did you dry off with an industrial fan or something?”

Steve shoved past them all, hiding his blush as he made his way to his seat at the table.

“Can we get started please?”

“Certainly, your majesty. Don’t let us hold you up.”

The night went well, though Eddie had to keep correcting him on his math.

He chalked it up to using everything he had in his tutoring session, but couldn’t really say that out loud.

At the end, Eddie pulled him to the side.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah. Just tired.”

“Need a ride?”

He almost always rode home with Eddie on Tuesdays, spending the night at the trailer if they ran later than usual.

“Sure,” he said before letting out a huge yawn.

They’d barely made it on the road when Steve’s eyes started to close.

“How’d tutoring go with Wheeler?” Eddie asked suddenly.

Steve’s eyes shot open, watching as Eddie’s knuckles went white as he gripped the wheel hard.

“What?”

“Why did you hide it from me?”

“How did you even find out?”

Steve was wide awake now, panic setting in that Eddie would be mad at him for lying, would probably hate him and stop talking to him and kick him out of Hellfire and then Steve would be completely alone for the rest of high school and beyond because it was too late to join other groups and-

“Does it matter how I found out? You weren’t the one to tell me. It’s fine if you don’t wanna tell me, but you lied to me. I would have moved Hellfire for you to have tutoring, too. So why would you lie to me?” Eddie sounded hurt.

He was keeping his eyes ahead, probably grateful for the excuse of driving so he didn’t have to look at Steve.

“I don’t know why I lied.”

“That’s bullshit, Steve.”

Steve flinched.

His dad tended to call his grades and behavior and general existence bullshit, and Eddie knew that.

It hurt to hear him say it so flippantly.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that,” Eddie said, much calmer and quieter.

The apology dulled the ache in Steve’s chest, but didn’t eliminate it completely. He knew he deserved it, but he didn’t think Eddie would ever use words like that towards him.

“I’m just trying to understand. We’re best friends and you didn’t even tell me you needed help in some of your classes.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, okay? It’s just embarrassing.”

Eddie was quiet. Steve stared out his own window, biting back the tears he knew were pooling in his eyes.

The van suddenly pulled to the side of the road and stopped.

“Stevie, look at me,” Eddie reached a hand over, covering Steve’s hand where it rested against his leg.

Steve swallowed harshly and turned to see Eddie looking at him, tired and sad.

“I’m not gonna think less of you because you need some help in school. None of us would. We all struggle with something.” Eddie sighed. “I’m not doing so great this year, either. The teachers hate me and I’m barely passing math and gym.”

“Gym? Eds, all you have to do is participate to pass the class.”

“Do I look like someone who participates in gym class?”

Steve couldn’t help smiling at him.

No, he didn’t. He looked like someone who probably avoided any physical activity that wasn’t directly related to playing a musical instrument.

“Nancy would probably help you with math. She’s technically in my class and she’s, like, way ahead of everyone.”

“Maybe. But my point is that you don’t have to hide shit from me. Or anyone in Hellfire for that matter.”

“Okay. I’m sorry.”

“I know. You’re good, Stevie,” Eddie squeezed his hand, smiling at him softly.

The van was dark, but the moonlight and headlights reflecting off the pavement gave just enough light for them make out each others’ features.

Steve’s heart skipped a beat.

They’d had moments like this before, but this felt different. The air was thicker, Eddie was still looking at him with that fond smile, and Steve couldn’t breathe.

Headlights lit up the road in front of them, disrupting the moment and making Eddie pull his hand away to place back on the steering wheel.

He wordlessly put the van back in drive and continued to the trailer.

The silence wasn’t awkward, but it did make Steve a little nervous.

It was hard to know what would’ve happened if that car didn’t drive by, but Steve had a gut feeling that his life would’ve changed.

“Happy birthday, Ed!” Wayne yelled from outside the bedroom door.

Steve shot up in the bed, knocking Eddie’s hand off his waist where it’d been resting for most of the night.

“Eddie, wake up!” Steve started shoving at his shoulder.

Eddie groaned and turned away from Steve.

“No.”

“It’s your birthday!”

“Then let me sleep.”

Steve shook his head, but jumped off the bed and ran to the door.

Wayne was smirking on the other side.

They’d had this planned for months now. Wayne took the day off, Steve forged a note so he could miss school today, and the gas tank of the van was full.

Steve had done the research and planning, Wayne had socked away enough money to pay for gas and food, and they had a whole day of surprises for the now 17 year old.

“He being difficult?” Wayne asked, putting his arm around Steve as they both looked at Eddie in bed.

His hair was covering the pillow and part of his face, his mouth was wide open like he was already back in a deep sleep, and his arms were thrown above his head.

“Just a little.”

“I’ll handle this, you get started on breakfast.”

Steve nodded and watched for a moment as Wayne made his way into the room, sitting on the edge of the bed and resting a hand on Eddie’s chest.

“C’mon Eds, your boy and I got a whole day planned for ya,” Wayne whispered.

Steve gulped when he heard it.

Your boy.

Wayne wasn’t dumb, he had sensed Steve’s feelings early on and called him on it. But he hadn’t said anything, at least not that Steve knew of.

Sure, he gave him these looks every once in a while, like this morning, but he wasn’t going to step in the middle of whatever was or wasn’t going on between them.

Steve moved to the kitchen quickly, doing his best to focus on making breakfast and not the soft way Wayne referred to him as Eddie’s boy.

He couldn’t hear anything else, the sounds of his cooking taking over the small area of the trailer that had kind of become his favorite.

Besides Eddie’s bed of course.

Just as he started pouring the batter into the pan, Eddie walked out, rubbing his eyes and yawning, obviously still tired.

His face lit up when he recognized what Steve was doing, though.

“Pancakes?!”

“You act like I never make pancakes,” Steve huffed.

“I see chocolate chips though,” Eddie walked up behind Steve, looking at some of the mess he’d made. “And sprinkles! Whipped cream! Best birthday ever!”

Steve laughed at his excitement.

It was really easy to make Eddie happy; He appreciated every small gesture or kind word, and almost always seemed surprised when his friends or Wayne took extra steps to make him feel loved.

“There’s also a candle so we can sing.”

“Outdid yourselves this year, didn’t you?”

“This is just the start,” Wayne said as he joined them.

“There’s more?”

“Oh yeah. Whole day of fun just for you. Steve put a lot of work into planning this so you better have some coffee.”

Steve felt himself blush, the heat crawling up his neck as Eddie leaned his head to rest on top of Steve’s in a silent thank you.

Steve had grown a bit in the last year, but Eddie had grown again.

Wayne complained that he was going to be taller than him (he already was in the right shoes) and didn’t know where he got it from (Wayne had let slip to Steve that Eddie’s parents were both on the shorter side).

“What did you plan?” Eddie asked as Steve flipped the pancakes.

“You’ll see after breakfast.”

After breakfast, they all got ready to go.

Wayne drove, and Eddie kept looking out the window to try to figure out where they were going.

He was pretty terrible with directions, so they could probably keep this a secret for a while.

Steve was changing over the tape when Eddie suddenly turned to him.

“We’re going to Indy?”

“We really gotta work on your sense of direction, boy,” Wayne laughed.

“Yeah, we’re going to Indy,” Steve nodded.

“For what?”

“Should I tell him?” Steve asked Wayne, teasing.

“I dunno, maybe he should have to guess,” Wayne smirked in the rearview mirror.

“C’mon guys! At least tell me the first thing we’re doing.”

“How do you know we’re doing more than one thing?”

“Because Wayne wouldn’t be driving us over an hour away just for one thing unless it lasted all day. It doesn’t last all day, does it?” Eddie suddenly sounded less sure of himself, probably silently convincing himself that he had to be right.

“Calm down, Ed,” Wayne shook his head. “First stop is the big record store downtown. The one that has live shows sometimes. It’s three stories.”

“And before you ask, I’m buying you three records of your choice so you don’t just have to go stare at them with those sad eyes and leave without any,” Steve said.

Eddie started bouncing his legs excitedly.

“What after that?”

“Lunch at McDonald’s.”

“McDonald’s?! I love McDonald’s.”

Steve patted his shoulder, noticed he was visibly shaking with excitement now.

“After lunch, there’s a guitar shop a little further out of town that does lessons. The guy has worked with studio artists for all your favorite bands. I got you a lesson with him.”

Eddie was speechless.

He truly had nothing to say to either of them, his brain trying to filter through the fact that he was spending his birthday with his two favorite people doing some of his most favorite things and now meeting someone who has access to people in the music industry.

The Corroded Coffin guys were going to lose their shit.

He felt Steve’s hand on his arm, looked up to see him smiling hesitantly.

“Is that okay?”

“Steve. This is the most okay thing that has ever happened to me.”

Steve’s beaming smile was enough to send butterflies through his entire body.

Wayne gave him a knowing look in the mirror before focusing back on the road ahead.

“You did all this?”

“I mean, Wayne is driving, he filled up the gas and is buying us lunch. I didn’t do much except plan.”

Steve always tried to brush things off, whether it was good or bad. He never accepted that he was good.

He leaned over and pulled Steve into a hug, his head going right to his chest like always.

Eddie never felt better than when Steve was in his arms, with his head against his chest. He felt like he could protect him, even if there wasn’t anything to protect him from.

He felt like he was holding his entire world in his arms.

It was a terrifying thought.

Eddie knew from a young age that he was gay, had come out to Wayne within the first week of living with him so he could get the ass beating out of the way early.

But Wayne didn’t do anything except hug him, thank him for trusting him, and ask him if he wanted to get pizza for dinner.

He’d since come out to Jeff and Gareth, but it was more accidental than anything. He’d been caught staring just a little too long (and maybe a little too lustfully) at a picture of Ozzy.

He knew Steve would be fine with it; Steve was a good person and they were best friends before anything else. He’d be completely understanding about Eddie being gay.

But he may not be as cool about Eddie being head over heels in love with him. Especially not since they share a bed four out of seven nights a week.

Or the fact that Eddie is almost always touching him, whether it’s an arm around him, or holding his hand, or playing with his hair, or fucking spooning him in bed.

So, dealing with the emotions of Steve putting so much effort into his birthday with his only family on top of the love he already had for him? Fucking overwhelming.

Steve relaxed into his chest like he always did, letting out a long breath like he’d been holding it since the last time he was in this position.

“You didn’t have to do all this,” he whispered.

“I wanted to. I’m excited to see you have a fun day.”

They stayed in that position for most of the rest of the ride, even when Eddie’s back started hurting at the weird angle.

The record shop was beyond his wildest dreams.

In fact, he’d had a dream once where his dream shop was still only half this size.

To say he was thrilled would be the understatement of the century.

To make things even better, there were employees on every floor there to help find things or give suggestions or just talk music.

Eddie probably would spend all day here if Steve hadn’t already made other plans.

The first floor was mostly the popular stuff and a variety of new and used record players. There were a lot of signed photos on the wall of musicians who had visited the shop while on tour.

The second floor was a lot of old rock and roll, country, and jazz. Wayne gave them a wave and disappeared among the tables.

The third floor was heaven.

Rock, metal, subgenres that had only just started springing up around urban areas. The employee on this floor was wearing an Iron Maiden shirt and battle vest, much like the one Eddie was in the process of sewing patches on.

He looked around at the posters and pictures on the wall, the flags in the corner that could be hidden if needed.

He belonged here.

“This is good, right?” Steve asked from behind him, still somehow nervous about this not being enough.

“This is amazing, Stevie. They have more than I even expected.”

“Yeah, they seem to really know what they’re doing here in the big city.”

Something in Steve’s tone made Eddie turn and focus his attention on the younger boy.

He was smiling, but it wasn’t reaching his eyes. The shine wasn’t there, the glow that Steve usually carried around Eddie lost.

“Everything okay?” Eddie asked, deciding not to pull him into his arms.

Once was probably enough today.

“Yeah! I’m just gonna check on Wayne. You look around, take your time, don’t forget I’m buying you three records!” Steve was backing away to the staircase before Eddie could respond.

“That your boyfriend?”

Eddie startled and saw the employee standing at the table behind them.

“Uh. No.”

“My bad. Just seemed like you two have a lot of…emotions.”

Eddie snorted.

The employee was tall, taller than Eddie by at least six inches. He didn’t seem much older than him, either. He was looking at him knowingly, and Eddie didn’t like it.

“Pretty sure you’re just sensing mine, man.”

“I dunno man. Seems like he’s got somethin’ goin’ on too.”

“Doubt it. He’s been my best friend a while. I think I would know.”

“Sometimes we miss what’s right in front of us.”

The employee, his nametag said Gavin, turned away and started stacking some records on the shelf at the counter.

“Um. What makes you say that, though, just out of curiosity?”

Gavin turned back to him, crossing his arms in front of his chest and smirking.

“You really wanna know?”

Eddie nodded.

“Well, your energy is screaming that you love him. If he doesn’t know now, he will soon. If you’re trying to hide it, you may have to figure out a better way. But his energy? It’s definitely more subdued, but the way he was looking at you when you walked in, dude. I’ve been with my girlfriend for five years and I don’t think either of us have looked at each other like that.”

“Like what?”

“You ever seen your idol in person? Like you can’t believe they’re actually real and are right in front of you and a part of you still thinks that you might be imagining that they’re sharing your space?”

“Um. I haven’t but I think I know what you mean.”

“He looked at you like that.”

“I think you’re imagining that.”

“Sure, maybe.”

Eddie ignored it. He had to.

He wanted to enjoy this and he couldn’t let his brain think about if he was right or wrong.

He looked around the shop, the conversation slowly floating from his memory as he found some records he’d never seen in person.

He picked three pretty quickly, knowing he could have easily bought most of what was here if he had the money.

Steve came up the stairs just as he was about to walk down them.

He was holding a John Denver record and smiling.

“Wayne’s outside. He wouldn’t admit it, but I know he wanted this so I’m getting it as a thank you for being our personal driver today. You find what you want?”

“Yeah. This place is amazing.”

Steve looked proud of himself, a look he rarely wore.

“I’m glad you like it here.”

“You’re getting the biggest hug when we leave.”

He pretended not to hear Gavin snort behind him, pushing Steve back down the stairs and sending a glare over his shoulder.

They checked out on the bottom floor, the employee at the register giving them an unexplainable look as she bagged their records.

“You boys ready for some lunch?” Wayne asked when they caught up to him by the van.

“I’m about to eat my weight in french fries.”

He did eat almost his weight in french fries.

He ate two large servings and most of Steve’s medium size, a Big Mac, and an apple pie.

Steve stuck to a cheeseburger and fries, while Wayne got a quarter pounder.

Eddie acted like he was eating a gourmet meal.

When they were done, they drove to the guitar shop.

Eddie felt the nerves hit as they pulled into the parking lot, suddenly realizing he was about to play guitar with someone who worked with people he idolized.

“I shouldn’t be here,” he said quickly, hoping Wayne would put the van in reverse and take them home so he wouldn’t embarrass himself.

“What do you mean?” Steve asked.

“This guy is a professional. I don’t even know how to read music. He’s gonna think this is such a waste of time.”

“I’m gonna have a smoke while you two talk,” Wayne said as he opened the door and got out.

“Eds, you’re so talented. This guy won’t care if you can’t read music as long as you can play guitar.”

“What if I forget everything I know?”

“Have you ever forgotten everything you know?”

“No…”

“It won’t happen in there. Just go enjoy this. Soak in some information. Maybe you could ask him what the local scene here is for young metal bands.”

“Maybe he knows someone who could get us in front of the right people!” Eddie yelled excitedly.

“Exactly,” Steve said, looking down at the floor of the van.

“That would be cool, right?”

“Yeah, Eds. That would be amazing,” Steve still didn’t look up and Eddie could see he was barely smiling. “You better head inside so you aren’t late. He keeps a tight schedule.”

“Okay. You guys gonna wait here or come inside?”

“I think we’re gonna wait out here. This is your time to shine.”

Eddie opened the door and started to get out.

“Um, Eddie?”

“Yeah?”

“I hope you get everything you want out of this.”

Eddie felt a pang in his chest at the way Steve was looking at him.

He was happy for him, but seemed like he was holding back tears. He didn’t have time to ask about it now, so he got out of the van.

“Thanks, Stevie. See you soon!”

As Eddie made his way inside the small building, he turned to see Wayne patting Steve on the shoulder while Steve covered his face with both hands.

The session was incredible, and the guy was impressed at how well Eddie could play just teaching himself by ear.

He’d recommended a couple bars for Corroded Coffin to play at in Indy when they turned 18, said that most places downtown were always looking for newer and younger bands to get on the scene.

He also suggested they try to get in a studio to record a demo and start sending them in whenever they could afford to. Even if they weren’t wanting to sign them, they might be interested in gaining some in house musicians.

The ride home was quiet, even though Eddie felt like he was buzzing out of his skin. Steve was resting his head against the window, watching the fields pass by as the sun started to set.

His eyes were closed like he was asleep, but Eddie didn’t think he actually was, his shoulders tensed up almost to his ears.

“Good day, Ed?” Wayne asked from the front, interrupting his mind wandering through thoughts of what could possibly have Steve so sad.

“The best.”

“Your boy really pulled out all the stops, huh?”

“Mhm,” Eddie glanced over at Steve, who was still in the same position.

“He really cares about you, Ed.”

“I know.”

“I don’t know if ya do, but that’s alright. You will someday.”

Eddie leaned his head against his own window, thinking about what Wayne said.

What Gavin said.

The way Steve had been so sad giving him so many amazing gifts, how Wayne was comforting him when they thought he wasn’t watching, how closed off Steve seemed when he got finished with the session.

He’d ask him about it tomorrow.

When they got home, the sun had just finished setting.

Wayne was tired, and he had an early shift, so he went inside to eat a quick dinner and go to bed.

“I’m gonna take a drive. Steve, you wanna come?”

“Sure,” Steve replied.

“Alright, school tomorrow. Be home by 10. Both of you.”

“Got it.”

They both got back in the van.

“Pick some music,” Eddie said as he backed out onto the gravel road of the trailer park.

“It’s your birthday, you pick.”

“Nah, I want you to pick.”

Steve sighed but started going through the glovebox to look for the tapes he kept in the van for himself.

He decided on Tears For Fears, much to Eddie’s amusement.

This was the tape he chose least often because he knew Eddie didn’t like them. Plus, he’d mentioned once that he had to be in a certain mood to listen to them.

Must be in that certain mood, whatever that was.

They drove in silence other than the music playing, exhaustion creeping in from their day.

Eddie finally pulled onto the road leading to the quarry, taking it slow so the song could finish before they parked.

When he did, he hopped out and opened the passenger door for Steve to do the same.

“What are we doing here?” Steve asked.

“Stargazing.”

Steve seemed to melt at that, his real smile finally returning.

“On the ground?”

“Nah. Roof of the van.”

They’d done this before, but never during the winter. It was cold, and the clothes they’d been wearing all day probably weren’t enough to be outside for long periods of time.

But Eddie just wanted a tiny bit of time with Steve, wanted to see if he could figure out what was going on with him without outright asking.

Once they settled on the roof, Eddie grabbed Steve’s hand, lacing their fingers together as he looked for constellations.

“Today was the best birthday I’ve ever had,” Eddie whispered.

Steve turned his head to look at him, but he kept watching the stars.

“I’m glad.”

“Are you?”

“Yeah? Why wouldn’t I be?”

Eddie finally turned his head to look at Steve.

He didn’t look as sad anymore, but he definitely didn’t look like he had this morning.

“You just seemed sad a lot today.”

This was it. Either Steve would admit he was sad, or he would try to cover it up.

“I wasn’t sad. It’s just a lot of emotions, I guess.”

“Why?”

“You just have a really great future ahead of you, ya know? Seeing you get to experience something like today made me realize that you’re being held back here.”

It was more honest than Eddie had expected him to be, but he was still holding back.

Eddie knew better than to push further, though.

“I think today was the first time it felt like I could have a future outside of Hawkins.”

There it was. The sad smile.

Eddie hated that look.

Steve looked back up at the sky and nudged his shoulder.

“Look, a shooting star!”

Eddie looked, squeezing Steve’s hand in his.

“We should make a wish. Close your eyes.”

He waited for Steve to close his eyes before closing his own.

They both opened their eyes at the same time.

“Gonna tell me what you wished for?” Eddie was curious, but he was already prepared for Steve to laugh it off and tell him it won’t come true if he tells.

“Not tonight. Someday.”

Hm.

“Okay.”

They stayed there for a few more minutes, until neither of them could feel their noses in the frigid January night air.

Steve seemed to get back to normal soon after his birthday, though his schedule was pretty full most days.

Basketball, tutoring, and volunteering at his dad’s request kept him out of the next campaign with Hellfire.

He missed band practices even though they started holding them later so they could finish homework first.

Eddie felt like something still changed despite Steve being back to his normal self.

He still slept over most nights, and still cooked them dinner, but even Wayne shot him worried looks every once in a while when Steve seemed off.

Steve called late one night, right before finals, and Eddie rushed to answer so it wouldn’t wake Wayne up.

“Hello?”

“Eddie.”

Steve sounded wrong.

Something was wrong.

“Steve? What’s wrong? Are you at home?”

“I’m.” He was breathing heavy. Something was wrong, wrong, wrong. “You know the gas station by my neighborhood?”

“Yeah,” he said, already grabbing his keys. “I can be there in five minutes.”

“Don’t speed. Be careful.”

Eddie was careful, but he did speed. He knew the only cop on patrol tonight would be Powell, and Powell practically slept his entire shift away by Lover’s Lake.

He arrived in six minutes, rushing out of the van when he saw Steve crouched by the payphone he’d used to call Eddie.

He fell to his knees in front of him, reaching out to try to comfort.

Steve flinched and then seemed to regret it, forcing himself to look up.

He had a black eye and a split lip, barely visible under the dim lighting coming from the phone booth behind them.

“Who did this to you?”

“My dad found out I was in Hellfire, he ruined the shirt, I’m sorry I tried to grab it from him, but he pushed me and I almost fell down the stairs and I had to try to keep my balance-“

“Shhh. Stevie, take a deep breath. It’s okay,” Eddie felt far from okay.

Steve’s dad had physically hurt him and Steve had, presumably, run from the house with apparently nothing but what he had on him.

“I can’t go back,” Steve whimpered.

Eddie pulled him into his chest, into his safe space, being careful not to rub against his eye or lip.

“Is anywhere else hurt?”

“My ribs hurt a little from being pushed, but I don’t think anything’s broken.”

“Shit, maybe I should take you to the hospital.”

“No!” Steve pulled away, panic all over his face. “No, they’ll just call him and he’ll be even more mad that I went there.”

“Stevie, is this the first time this has happened?”

“Of course it is.”

“You don’t have to lie to me.”

Steve was shaking like a leaf, his body unable to relax against Eddie’s chest like it usually did the moment he was there.

“He’s never left bruises before.”

“Okay. You’re coming to stay with us, at least until he leaves town again. When’s his next trip?”

“He said something about leaving Saturday. My mom is on a girl’s trip for the rest of the month, I guess.”

Eddie rolled his eyes.

He’d never understand rich people, but he’d especially never understand how someone like Richard Harrington could exist without punishment.

If Steve went to the hospital and got the police involved, maybe he could just live with him.

But Steve was almost 16, had been dreaming about the BMW his dad already had waiting for him in their four car garage for the last six months. If he got cut off from them, they’d make his life hell, and probably Wayne and Eddie’s too.

They had power where Eddie had nothing.

“He won’t know where you are tonight, right? Won’t come looking? Wayne will shoot him on sight if he tries and I’d rather Wayne not go to prison.”

Steve let out a small, quiet laugh, hesitant, like he wasn’t sure he was allowed to laugh right now.

“Let’s get you home, huh?”

Steve nodded and stood up, a little wobbly on his feet.

His eye was swollen shut, so his father must have put quite a bit of force behind the hit. He may have a concussion.

Shit.

“Hey, did you hit your head on anything? Other than your dad’s fist?”

“Not that I remember.”

Shit. Shit.

“Okay. Let’s um. Get you home and check you out there.”

“Mkay.”

Eddie helped Steve into his van, helping him buckle the seatbelt and close the door.

The ride home mostly consisted of Eddie trying to keep Steve conscious just in case he did have a concussion.

He was not looking forward to waking Wayne up with this.

Wayne would be mad, but not at them. No, definitely not at them.

He’d be doing his best to not show up to the Harrington house and take care of Richard himself.

Apparently, Wayne had woken up at some point while he was gone, maybe when he’d started his not-very-quiet van to get Steve. He was standing on the porch smoking a cigarette when they pulled in the yard.

“He’s gonna be mad,” Steve sounded scared.

He’d never been scared of Wayne before.

“Stevie, he won’t be mad at you. He’s gonna be mad at your shithead father for laying his hands on you.”

“But it’s a school night and it’s late and-“

“Steve. He will be more worried about you being okay than the fact that we’re up late on a school night.”

Steve nodded.

Wayne was coming down the porch steps, probably wondering what was taking them so long.

Eddie hopped out, stopping him before he could get to the van.

“I need you to promise me you’ll stay calm,” Eddie begged.

“I ain’t doin’ that. What the hell is goin’ on? Is that Steve?”

“It is. I had to go pick him up from the gas station by his house.”

“He locked out or somethin’?”

“No. His dad didn’t like that he was involved in my club and I’m sure plenty of other stuff pissed him off and his fist decided to take it out on Steve’s face.”

Even in the dark, Eddie could see Wayne’s face go red in anger as he dropped the cigarette on the ground and stepped on it.

He started to make his way over to the passenger side too quickly for Eddie to stop him.

He opened the door and looked at Steve, who’d started crying again.

“Come here, son,” Wayne said gently, reaching out to pull him out of the van and into his arms.

Eddie could hear Steve sobbing, could see the way Wayne was rocking him back and forth just slightly to keep him moving.

He looked over at Eddie and Eddie just knew.

Wayne was not going to rest until something was done about this.

And he didn’t.

After he helped get Steve’s face cleaned up, and set alarms for every few hours in case he did have a concussion, he left him to get changed.

He turned to Eddie in the hall.

“I’ll be back. Might not be ‘til after my shift tomorrow. You keep him home from school. I’ll write ya a note.”

“Where are you going? You can’t go to his house, Wayne.”

“I’m going to have a chat with Jim. We’ve had this discussion before and this is the last time I’m havin’ it before I do what needs to be done myself. Don’t tell Steve about it, and don’t let him leave this house until I’m back. You understand me?”

“Yes, sir.”

“You go take care of your boy.”

Eddie nodded.

He went into his bedroom, smiling at Steve passed out shirtless in his bed.

Until he got closer and saw some bruises along his back. Almost like a footprint. Like someone had stepped on him.

Eddie bit back a sob as he sat down on the bed, grateful Wayne had gone to take care of this, but worried what it might mean for all of them.

“I’m gonna take care of you, Stevie. I promise you won’t ever be hurt again, not like this, not by him,” Eddie whispered.

Steve slept on, not even moving when Eddie got comfortable and placed an arm around his waist.

As long as he was here, he was safe.

As long as Eddie could hold him like this, Steve would be fine.

Chapter 3

TAG LIST: @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @renaissan-vvitch @estrellami-1

[merricatblckwood]

Interview with the vampire season 2 episode 8 The queen of the damned by Anne Rice - The devil's minion chapter Special effects by Larry Cohen

[crowmise]

Light of Truth(?).

[shegoesbyjoy]

the quiet show of support from kim despite his own nerves... the playful ribbing between the two of them... the image of kim lending a crying harry his handkerchief, doing what he can to dry this broken man's tears....... these moments are really making me feel some type of way alright

[shadowed-dancer]

Characters that are younger than Xiao and it feels wrong

Over half the archons (Nahida, Focalors, Furina, probably the pyro archon and the Tsaritsa assuming they were born after the cataclysm. Idk I feel like we assume gods should be the oldest and they just... aren't)

Yae Miko

Dainsleif

NEUVILLETTE

Characters that are older than Xiao and it feels wrong

Ganyu

[spookberry]

endlessly entertained by their constant bickering tbh

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

jin guangshan and lan qiren yaoi perhaps? since their shapes create a perfect balance?

Two old men perform worlds first successful 96.