#it kinda sucks horribly but it was fun to try and make

[ctrl-alt-deleting-yr-face]

hi chat have you ever heard of hit song 20xx by chonny jash

[kaisollisto]

[nthflower]

Everything that is about powder gangers makes me so uncomfortable in a bad way.

[townofcrosshollow]

Idk man if you're constantly talking about your crushing loneliness and feelings of being ostracised and left out when you ostensibly have a bunch of friends around you then maybe the feelings of loneliness aren't the problem there

[violight-ghost]

Vent!!

[mimiiiiiiiiisstuff]

what if tiffanny started like trying to copy reader like to a t but failing

like tiffany reads readers diary only to not be able to copy their interest

when they bake its burnt, gross, or just slightly off to the point its noticable to everyone but yk

reader likes making music ? tiffany cant sing or play any instruments. any music that used to make the manor feel like home now just sounds rachet. like a class full of elemntary schoolers trying to play the recorder

reader likes to play music ? the music that once haunted the manor is gone and replaced with silence.

reader likes painting ? the paintings reader made are taken down by tiffany and replaced with hers. suddenly the quality is buns. everything looks ai and off.

reader likes to make drinks for others ? the drinks tiffany makes arent the same. too salty. too sweet. not salty enough. not sweet enough.

ect ect idk

-🍰

Yessss! ok you've read my mind bc this was the exact direction i was going in!!! it's gonna be so fun seeing how the family reacts to these changes and how they regret ignoring reader. the pure anguish they feel as they realize that reader doesn't care anymore. in my story, they're all kinda alr possessive over each other so they're gonna go crazy over reader. especially bruce, once he realizes how horrible hes been he'll want to make up for 11-12 years of lost time.

Tiffany is also weirdly obsessed with reader. like the hobbies I have in mind for reader are theater kid things like musicals, instruments, reading, baking, things like that and those are things that really have to come from the heart so no matter how hard she tries, she just can't compete. she doesn't even realize that her failed imitation is what exposes her, that she drew attention to your greatness with all her failures.

Sorry if this sucks im legit so tired and can't sleep :(

[telvess]

Reader using pick-up lines on them

chaotic writing for the fun

Hades

“You should be arrested for stealing my heart!”

Pick-up lines, hmm? Alright, fine, but did you have to use the most pathetic, the cheesiest one? Hades is way too elegant for such a poor tasted attempt, he actually feels offended by your words.

Your first impression is horrible. Hades silently judges you. Of course, he is too classy to make any snarky comments, but you can tell by his cold, indifferent look that he has lost all interest in your company. At this point, he is more of a Poseidon than his brother himself.

If you aren’t the type of person who gives up easily and still tries to flirt… just stop. The best you can get from him would be „yes”, „no” or a nod of the head.

Buddha

“You see my friend over there? She want to know if you think I'm cute.”

Buddha stares at you for a long moment, then looks over your shoulder to check out your friend (who you obviously made up), then then returns to you. His expression is blunt, maybe slightly bored. Totally makes you lose the confidence you had a moment ago as you watch him lazily suck a lollipop and pierce you through with his unimpressed glare.

The worst he can say is „no”, right? Well, who would have thought that the enlightened mind of Buddha would prove otherwise. A drawn-out silence makes you uncomfortable and you start to squirm under his gaze, not ready for that unfazed attitude of his…

Once the confidence you felt approached him vanished and you are ready to leave as quickly as possible, Buddha begins to laugh historically. You jump up a little and stare at him confused. It takes him a while to calm down, but when he does, he looks at you seriously again and says „tell your friend I find ya cute” with the most annoying smirk in the entire universe.

Susanoo

“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”

Susanoo watches you with harsh expression, his eyebrows raising as your attitude doesn’t change. You just stand in front of him and wait for his answer. Kinda hot, he has to admit.

He is amused by this shitty attempt, but still has to admit that it takes some balls to say something so crappy to his face. You’re bold, stupid and definitely not in your right mind.

He would definitely address all of the above and then… respond to you with an even cheaper pickup line that he thinks sounds good. He is very proud of himself and oblivious to the point that it matches his intimidating aura.

Susanoo likes a person who isn’t concerned with what everyone think of them, but he is also a person who expects others to submit to his will, which makes him rather difficult person to flirt with, demanding from you to adapt to his confusing preferences.

Nikola

“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.”

BUAHAHAHAHA! HE WOULDN’T GET IT 100%!

He looks at you very confused at first, then he puts to work all of his braincells trying to figure out what you meant. Is this some kind of puzzle? Mystery? It’s clearly impressive, because he struggles to solve it!

Please, stop the brainstorming session before he starts writing his thought on the board and calls members of the science crew asking for the consultations.

After yours short explanation (which probably burnt your soul to the bones with embarrassment) Nikola nods, compliments your clever attempt and… continues what he was doing before this whole masquerade started, oblivious to the fact you just hit on him. So you just stand there and wait for something, but you last barely several dozen seconds before you run away to hide somewhere far, far away.

Much to your surprise, Nikola visits you the next day and invites you for coffee, bluntly.

Hermes

“Can I put my hand on your thigh, where it belongs?”

You sit next to him and get straight to the point. No hesitation, no shame in your eyes. Hermes’ eyes widen for a millisecond as the words leave your lips. Oh? Oh? Oh? He couldn’t help but let his lips stretch into a wide smile, trying to cover his mouth with his hand as a single chuckle escapes his lips.

When he pulls himself together, Hermes lets his playful nature take over. So you thought you were flirty? Hermes is too smart and too cunning to allow you triumph for long. Even if he isn’t interested, he will leave you with a dry mouth and wet panties. Hermes uses the tongue as smoothly as he uses the violin.

Apollo

“I'm sorry, were you talking to me?” He denies, “Well, would you like to?”

My, my, look at you! Approaching the Sun God just like this? Apollo is impressed. In fact, because of how intimidating he is, it's not often that others surprise him with such bravado. Usually they just treat him as something as intangible as the rays of the sun, bathing in his glory, praising him as a celestial being, not as a person. You - on the other hand - are a breath of fresh air.

Once the first shock wears off, his entire figure begins to glow and he gives you the most breathtaking smile you will ever see. From that point on, everything he does comes so naturally that it makes you lose yourself. After making great first impression, you end up like everyone else: Apollo wraps you around his little finger and before you know it, you just sit there and listen to his melodious voice as if you are bewitched. The man is too charming.

Poseidon

“Are you a magician? Because when I look at you, everyone else disappears.”

Peasant. Get out.

You aren’t clever. You aren’t brave. You aren’t impressive. The only person that will disappear is gonna be you, if you don’t remove yourself in the next 3 seconds.

Whoever didn’t stop you from approaching Poseidon like this, definitely doesn’t wish you well.

Kojirō

“Aren't you tired? From running through my mind all day?”

The man gives you surprised look, and moment later he presents you his widest smile. Sasaki has no clue what to say, so he just stands before you, rubbing his neck and blushing like teenage girl. He may stammers out a few words of thanks, but you really shouldn’t hope for more. Kojirō is simply not used to compliments, so even the simplest pick-up line can rock his world.

Please, ask him about swordsmanship, because it’s probably the only thing he can talk about while his brain fries in the skull.

Once Kojirō pulls himself together, he turns out to be exactly as carefree and friendly as you expected. The longer you two interact, the more open and less awkward he becomes.

Ares

“Do you have a name, or can I just call you 'mine'?”

Did you just? Huh???

Ares blinks a few times before his brain process information. He can’t believe you said something like that! Do you even know who you are talking to? He is Ares, the God of War! One of the twelve Gods of Olympus and son of Zeus! He deserves more respect, not some pathetic, human-alike attempt at flirting. He shouts all this in your face, making a big scene and ridiculing you in front of the others gods. For a moment he’s proud of himself, but your teary eyes quickly put him in a less mighty state.

To make things worse, you literally run away. At first Ares tries to ignore the feeling of guilt in his chest, pretending that your reaction was childish and exaggerated, but all he needs is Hermes to make a little remark (“Poor thing, it seems she gave her all to speak up.”) to make Ares’ face red.

He mutters some lame excuse to leave and starts looking for you. He still thinks your attempt was awful, but maybe - just maybe - his heart skips a beat knowing that some pretty miss thinks so highly of him.

Jack

“If music be the food of love, let’s have a feast together.”

Okay, this man isn’t used to hearing compliments, let alone hitting on him. Jack is a little shocked, not because he doesn’t understand you, but because you actually chose him. He doesn’t recognize you, but to his great surprise you seem to know a little about him. After all, you referred to Shakespeare. It couldn't have been an accident, right?

“Pardon me, lady?” is probably the first thing out of Jack's mouth as he’s still processing what you’ve said, but he quickly snaps out of his surprise, “Forgive me, where are my manners?”

Jack introduces himself properly, takes off the hat and bows like a gentleman. He then politely asks for your name, still fluttered that you gave him a chance.

Thor

“Did you do something to my eyes? I can't seem to take them off you.”

“…”

Neither Thor nor Mjölnir budge. Well, this is definitely something new; no one has ever approached Thor this way before, so he has to give you some points for creativity. However, don’t expect anything as Thor isn’t interested in continuing the conversation, so it’s up to you if you are interested in one-sided interaction.

Loki

“Well, here I am! What are your other two wishes?”

Loki stares at you without the slightest sign of interest, twirling strand of hair around his finger. He seems distant, almost like he didn’t hear you. Then he flinches, as if snapped out of trance. His face changes in a split second: a wide, forced smile and squinting eyes screaming at you to evacuate, because you’ve hit on the wrong guy. “Do you have a death wish, woman?” Loki asks, his voice has the sweetest tone that tickles your ears, but his words spew poison…

Loki is capricious. I don’t think it’s a matter of wrong pick-up line, it's rather more a matter of right timing. But even if you choose a bad moment to approach him, he probably wouldn’t hurt you (physically) - he prefers to scare others, toy with their fear than kill them.

On the other hand, if your timing is right, then you would still bounce off the wall, because Loki doesn’t intent to give you a straightforward answer; he would like to play with you, confuse you with the mixed signals he sends. He wants a reaction from you, entertain him. If you are cocky - his goal is to crush your self-confidence. Shy? Prepare for blushing, squealing and stuttering. Ah, you think you’re being funny here? Loki will gladly turn your smile into tears.

[dontlookatmytmntcollection]

(I didn’t find any info if your askbox is closed or not, if you are not taking up requests you can ignore this!)

But hi :) how are you? how you are doing well

this is a bit personal, but would you mind doing either a Headcanon or scenario with reader x turtles (romantic/crush stage) with a…Hopeless reader? Kinda someone who had to tell themselves that love isn’t on their life journey and that seriously bother them? Lol

this weekend I’m gonna attend a friends wedding, while meeting with some shared friends before the wedding, one of them quoted corpse bride’s scene “to Emily, always the bridesmaid, never the bride” for me (most of my friends are married or dating long term), usually I handle the lack of a love life fairly well (by not thinking about it or just making jokes about it lol) but tonight it kinda really bothered me, a lot.) a lot of my friends treat me being single as something I don’t out efforts in it? But holy shit I do, and it really hurts to see them saying or acting like I’m not doing enough? Anyways. I guess the request would be how the turtles would react to a reader who kinda just lost hope, who agrees with the quote even if it makes her very sad? Kinda trying to wing the night lowkey but turtles can sense it hurt her (maybe Vern said the quote lol, or something similar… that’s something stupid enough for the falcon to do 😅)

I hope makes sense, if not I apologize for the messy ask. Have a good day / night

I'm sorry that happened. Your friends definitely need to stfu about that lol dating and relationships are fun, but nobody NEEDS them. If they need a RELATIONSHIP to feel fulfilled, they have shit to figure out.

Definitely been there tho. And being single can be horrible. I see you

Scene: Your turtle has been secretly pining for you for a while now. Hasn't got the guts to say anything yet.

TMNT x Lonely Reader

Leo

- He could sense your reaction instantly, despite how well you hid it.

- Your micro expressions, the slight but sudden shift of your bodyweight away from Vern- Leo almost didn't catch that you had smiled and laughed at the comment.

- His own reaction was visceral and overwhelming, at least it was to him.

-He remained still by your side, but the urge to...he didn't even know. Hide you. Push hard at Verns shoulder- something.

-Geez. He hadn't felt like this since he was a child. Like he could protect his little brothers or you from judgment or cruelty.

-He couldn't.

-He sucked in a breath through his nose, scrambling for self-control; watching you handle the interaction like an adult. Forcing himself to as well.

-But it did satisfy him to see that Vern physically felt his animosity. The guy took once glance at Leo before he instantly stuttered an excuse to walk to another conversation.

-"Vern is an idiot." Leo scratched out, desperate to keep what he really wanted to say to you at a minimum. "There's absolutely nothing wrong with you."

-You seemed surprised at that, glancing up at him. But your quite, sincere smile made it it worth it.

Raph

- "Always the brides maid, never the bride, huh?"

- "What?" It was a reactive response. Before you could even register what he had said, or the sudden amount of hurt- or embarrassment you felt.

- Raph had turned wide, expectant eyes on Vern as well, something Vern noticed instantly.

- "Well, yunno." Vern stutteres, trying to stay focused on you. "I've seen ya at these events a lot but you never bring a guy around...or-"

-"See that girl over there?" Raph suddenly said, leaning down a little to point your gaze in the right direction.

- "Yeah." You said quietly.

-"Who's that girl, Vern?"

-Vern looked back at you guys, shrugging and putting his hands back in his pockets with an air of pride. "She's my girlfriend."

-Raph smirked, his voice somehow both condescending and unusually soft. "Vern met her a week ago. That makes her..." Raph trailed off, looming back into his full height, towering over Vern. "The sixth one this year, right. Makin' you real good at givin' advice to pretty girls, Falcon boy. Careful with that."

-"Jesus. I'm just- I'll be over there." Vern sighed, awkwardly stepping aside then walking out of sight.

- Raph said nothing, instead turning to you. "You alright?"

-You were desperate not to say everything you wanted to. "Much better." You said instead, looking up at him. Hoping the softness you saw there was a reflection of what you felt for him too.

Donnie

- Donnie couldn't even react or register the words before you were handling it. Shrugging and waving Vern off.

-He was horrified. His eyes were glued to Vern, completely confused that the guy had missed how rude of a statement that was.

-The conversation came and went, and while he had a wonderful time, he was entirety focused on you.

-While you didn't seem MISERABLE, you were different. Something had obviously changed. And it was Verns fault.

-You had no reason to feel pressure of that kind. You were perfect the way you were! No one should ever, ever, ever make you feel anything less.

-The thought that you did made him physically sick to his stomach.

-He might not have caught it in time to say anything in the moment.

-But Verns apartment locks, car, computer, and bathroom pipes all giving him a hard time all in the next 24 hours?

-A complete and utter mystery...

Mikey

-"Yeah you should listen to him." Mikey said.

-Shock coursed through you. "What?" You looked at him, wide eyed, heart in your throat- "W- I should-"

-"You should listen to him." Mikey repeated, noding solumley, starting to confidently strole around Vern. "This guy has fantastic dating advise. You don't even know, girl. Look at him!" Mikey's smile was as bright as the sun, gesturing to Vern as if he was a plater he was showing off to you.

-"He's been on this earth so long, his life experience exceeds our very comprehension, girl."

-Vern made a sudden puzzled expression while yours melted quickly into a smile.

-"He's got recipes too. Qualifications, evidence, the whole nine yards. Guy has like- twelve grand kids-"

-"I- C'mon, Mike-" Vern was catching on.

-"Ohhh.. yeah, that's right. No grandkids. But he does have a wife. They just had their fiftieth anniversary-!"

-"I'm not that o- He's joking with you." Vern tried to explain. "I'm not married."

-Mikey snapped his fingers as he had remembered something, suddenly getting much, MUCH closer in Verns personal space.

-"Oh yeah, that's right. You're not married. I forget that your on, like, your sixth girlfriend this month. Maybe actual advise sounds like..."

-Mikey stepped away from Vern, standing infront of you. "Keep those standards up, girl. Pretty face like yours? You could have anyone you want."

-You couldn't stop smiling.

[darukee]

This is fucking gay

Nicole and Jecka are at the Bathroom, specifically the one close to the Emergency’s Exit and the vending machine. As usual, they are skipping classes.

— I’ve already told you this bathroom is horrible. — Jecka says, holding a Starbucks’ coffee cup.

— Yeah bitch, but it is close to the vending machine, and I was thirsty for a Pepsi. — Nicole concludes, opening her recently bought Pepsi can.

—  We came here just so you could get a Pepsi?

—  See? That alone proves my life fucking sucks.

Jecka slurps from her Starbuck, making Nicole notice it only now.

— Did you skip class to buy Starbucks?

— Do I look like the type of bitch who skips class to buy Starbucks?

— Kinda.

— No… I asked Jeffrey to get one for me.

— And he did?

— I did my sexy voice. — Jecka says it, using the mentioned tone.

— Makes sense. Gimme a sip.

— No? This was like, $6 dollars.

— Fuck bitch, lemme take one sip, I’m not asking for the entire cup.

— One sip is like, $0.50, you know that?

— Are you charging me to get one fucking sip?

— … Do you have money?

— Do I look like someone who would pay for a sip?

— No, that’s why I charged.

— Don’t be a whore, let me sip. — Nicole leans hard into Jecka, trying to put her mouth on the straw. 

— No, get off! — Jecka pushes her away, making Nicole stop going after her stuff.

— Did I say that you look really pretty today, Jecka? — as she usually does with boys, Nicole starts to talk in a slower and comfortable tone.

— Flirting won’t work, Nicole.

— I’m not flirting for fuckin’ Starbucks. — she leans on the wall — You just… Look pretty on that angle. I could take a pic.

— Now I’m confused if you are being a manipulative bitch or a gay one. — she slurps again.

— I’m down to fuck for that Starbucks.

— Now you are contradicting yourself.

— No bitch, let’s fuck right here for that sip.

— I would not fuck you.

— Yeah you would.

— Yeah I would… Is that gay?

— Is it gay to fuck your best friend?

— Why are you asking me this?

— So you can notice how stupid your question is.

Suddenly, Kelly and Emily enter the Bathroom, chatting. As they see the girls, Kelly asks:

— Why are you guys always skipping classes?

— Like you two aren’t doing the same thing. — Nicole hits back.

— Is it gay to fuck to get Starbucks? — Jecka looks at Emily, waiting for an answer.

— It depends, who are you fuckin’? — the former asks.

— This bitch won’t let me take a sip of her Starbucks! — raising her voice, Nicole brings back her point.

— I want a sip of that. — Kelly leaves her standard position, with her hands behind her neck, and approaches Jecka

— Yeah, sure. — Jecka inclines the cup so Kelly can lean a bit and take a sip.

— Oh, so it is personal. — Nicole rolls her eyes.

— I mean, it wasn’t at first. But I thought it would be fun.

— First you refuse to fuck me and now you take away my sip?

— That 's gay. — Kelly interrupts.

— No, I don’t think Starbucks is that gay yet. — Nicole answers

— I meant the sleeping with her part?

— What? Should I lie?

Ari and Karen enter the bathroom too, hearing the commotion.

— Oh, so is everyone skipping today, huh. — Nicole rolls her eyes again, leaning even more on the wall.

— Ari, — Emily walks to the red-haired — is it gay to want to sleep with your best friend? 

— Yes I would sleep with you.

— What? You are not my best friend.

— I know, I just saw the window there and, uh, well

— You want to sleep with me?

— I would be down to sleep with anyone here, honestly…

Again, Jecka slurps from her Starbucks’ coffee cup.

— BITCH, GIMME A SIP! — Nicole yells, getting out of the wall and approaching Jecka, with palms up.

— You have your Pepsi.

— IT’S A FUCKING PEPSI, WHAT I WOULD DO WITH A PEPSI?

— … Drink it? — Karen suggests. Nicole and Jecka turns her eyes on her, confused and with some disapproval.

The brunette one answers first:

— No one fucking asked you.

— Yeah, Karen, no one asked you.

— Why is it suddenly against me?

— ‘Cause you are a virgin? — Emily intervenes — And we hate virgins.

— I’m not a virgin! In that case, Ari is also a virgin!

— You really had to use “also”, huh. — Nicole points out.

— W-What? I’m not a virgin! I fucked lots of man!

—Yeah, but you are gay, so those, like, do not count. — Emily says it, looking at Ari.

— What the fuck?

— It comes down to the gay sex again… — Jecka slurps on her coffee.

— How did it started in gay sex? — Karen asks, being put on the conversation for the first time now.

— Oh, Nicole wanted to fuck Jecka. — Kelly explains, putting her hands back.

— Understandable. — Ari shakes her head in subtle approval.

— What? For her Starbucks. — Nicole says it with no hesitance.

— It’s 2008, you do not need excuses anymore. — Ari puts a hand on Nicole’s shoulder.

— I really just want Starbucks. — Nicole pushes Ari’s hand away, with displeasure.

— Jecka, I think saying “no” to that is kinda homophobe. — Kelly looks at Jecka.

— What? How is that homophobe?

— Yeah, Jecka, that 's pretty homophobe of you. — Emily also looks at Jecka. At some point, every girl stares at her. Nicole then completes.

— Yeah, you’re being a homophobe.

— I think you guys should fuck… — Ari speaks her thoughts, a bit too loud — N-Not that I want to watch it…

— It’s not like I will refuse to let her sip from my drink, I was just having fun with her begging.

— Huh… — Nicole stares deeply at the blonde — You never looked hotter.

— Oh my God, they’re fucking. — Emily says with shock.

— WE ARE NOT FUCKING. — exclaims Nicole.

— We could be. I give an amazing head.

— I do not think you know how lesbian sex work.

Footsteps come closer. Principal Lynn enters the bathroom with a not pleasant face. Everyone stares at her, showing surprise.

— What are all of you doing here? Go to your respective classes!

— Fuck. — swears Emily, taking down an adderall and rushing out of the room. Promptly, all of the girls leave the bathroom. [...]

[holidayinhell]

Interview

CWs: references to noncon, violence

1. Would you rather - Rope or Chains?

R: Rope.

W: Chains, dear god, chains any day. Ropes fucking burn.

2. If Whumpee had multiple Whumpers, who is their favourite? For Whumpers, which Whumpee was your favourite?

R: Yeah, I’ve got a favorite. A couple years back I had a Whumpee who fought me at every turn. He'd throw his food at me, cuss me out, and try to attack me. One time he scratched absolute shit outta my arms. Anyways, I got tired of his shitty attitude and decided to kill him. I didn't keep it a secret, I told him he was gonna die. But when I went in to do it, he changed completely. No more screaming, no spark in his eye. He got quiet. Heh, he got all lovey dovey with me even. You know, lots of people say they’ll do anything if only you’ll spare their life. I never did cash in on that promise, but on this Whumpee, I put it to the fucking test. Heh. He let me do whatever I wanted to him. Depraved, horrible things, that would make the most degenerate man blush. Heh, and even though he was crying through most of it, he still pretended to like everything I did to him. And god. You should’ve seen his eyes when I told him I was still gonna kill him. That look. I think about it still.

W: I can’t. glances over at Whumper. Next question please.

3: In your opinion, what is the best way to train a pet?

R: Humans are fickle fucking beasts. You have to break down someone’s pride in order to train them. I start off with food deprivation, that usually helps me gauge what kind of fight I’m in for.

W: Positive reinforcement has always worked for me… I’ve only ever had a pet bearded dragon though.

4: Broken ribs or bullet wound? 

R: Both.

W: These questions are uncomfortable to answer. But, uh, bullet wound I guess. Assuming it didn’t graze any organs.

5: Preferred type of gag? 

R: I like a fabric gag. Or a simple piece of duct tape. Sometimes they come off and I get to squeeze a little scream out of Whumpee, and then I put a fresh one right back on. I kinda like the cycle of it.

W: I don’t have a preference… none? I guess the metal bit one isn't the worst of them. It hurts my teeth but at least I can still kinda breathe.

6: Burned or stabbed?

R: Stabbed.

W: Stabbed, I guess?

7: Favourite stress position? 

R: An old-fashioned hogtie. I guess I’m unimaginative but I don’t get too crazy into the BDSM shit. Who has the patience for that?

W: Uhh.. just, handcuffs behind my back. Something relatively comfortable.

8: Have you given or received any Brands? What do they signify?

R: Heh. No. Never been branded. I certainly have had my fun branding Whumpee though.

W: I… have two… Uhm. One on my chest that, thank Christ, is almost all the way healed. It said, uh, swine. The other one is on my back, it’s a lot worse. I don’t know what it says but I can feel it so it’s um, it’s here to stay, I guess.

R: It says Nice Try. Remember?

W: Not really.

R: From your second half-hearted escape attempt. Didn't realize you forgot. But I did hit you pretty fucking hard that night.

9: Broken arm or broken leg? 

R: Leg.

W: Arm. A million times, arm.

10: How did you get here? Why are you the way that you are?

R: I live here. Far as I know, I’ve always been 'like this'-- whatever the hell that means. And I don’t see a problem with it. We’re all free to do as we like, so that’s what I fucking do.

W: I dunno. I, I was outside, it was dark and I think it was raining…yeah… heading home from the bar. I didn’t drink that much. I didn’t live that far, either, so the rain wasn’t a problem. I remember falling down and then… I woke up here. And I’ve been here ever since.

11: What is your biggest regret?

R: I wish this Whumpee could’ve learned a thing or two from my defiant Whumpee in the second question you asked. I wanna get my dick sucked like that every fucking night.

W: Regrets... yeah, I've got a few. One stands out. It was late at night, Whumper didn't tie me up. I snuck out of my cell and I made it to the steps. Almost to the top, nearly all the way out. The door was unlocked and cracked open a little, I thought I could make a run for it and—

R: —I was waiting for you at the top. Heh. I wanted to see if you'd run, and you sure tried to. Not so much after that, though.

12: Is there a line you won’t cross? For Whumpee, what do you most fear Whumper might do?

R: A line I wouldn’t cross? Uhhh…. No. No, I don’t think so. I’ll cross any fucking line. turns to Whumpee, grinning. So what are you afraid of, Whumpee?

W: I, um. Does he really have to be here when I answer these questions?

R: Tell them, Whumpee.

W: Can I whisper it to you? (he’s already done so much to me, so fucking much… it’s dumb but I don’t want him to shave my head.)

R: smirks. You know I heard that.

13: What lessons have you taken away from your experience?

R: Everything has been the same old, same old for me. Guess this Whumpee’s lasted longer than the rest of ‘em. He’s coming up on a year soon. Kind of impressive he’s stuck around this long and hasn’t given me a reason to kill him yet.

W: I don’t know. I do what I’m told so I can eat. I take it day by day. I guess the lesson I’ve learned is that abandoning pride is the only way to survive…

14: Whip or cane?

R: Whip.

W: Yeah. Whip.

R: Didn’t expect you to say that. Noted.

15: Drugged or coherent?

R: Depends on the situation. Drugging them is useful for transport but I don’t much like it when they’re too dazed to understand what’s happening. Sometimes they fall asleep, too.

W: Drug me any fucking day. I don’t care. I’ll take whatever you have.

16: What are your true, honest feelings about each other? Is there some part of you that cares for the other at all?

R: Sometimes I like to touch him. He’s warm and it’s funny when he tries to squirm away. Plus I like it when he begs me to stop. But do I care about him? …eh. Sure, sorta. He’s my plaything.

W: Erm. Thanks, I guess. For me… Whumper is the reason I’m here. I guess I’m appreciative for the food… but he does hurt me. A lot. Constantly.

R: You're very welcome.

17: What is your favourite thing about the other? A personality trait, a physical feature, anything

R: He’s got pretty hair. A kind of pretty face, too. Yeah, almost like a girl. Heh. And he makes good sounds when he’s screaming.

W: Ah. Fuck. I really don’t know how to answer this…

R: Come on. What’s your favorite part?

W: Um. Well, I'll say this: Whumper is smart. Scary smart. I don’t think anyone would ever imagine how smart. I don’t know. I don’t. It’s… terrifying.

18: Do you have relationships outside of each other? Friends, family - if yes, do they know about Whumpee? Do they care?

R: Yes, yes, and no.

W: I have a half sister in, uh, Arkansas. We’re not close, obviously… used to have friends I guess, but it’s been a long time since I saw them…

19: What other hobbies do/did you have?

R: Video games. 

W: I used to play saxophone. A lifetime ago.

20: For Whumper, is there any chance you’ll let Whumpee go? For Whumpee, have you ever thought about life after you’re free?

R: No. Sorry. Realistically, it doesn’t make sense to ‘let him go.’

W: I, uh, I used to think about it. I don't anymore… like he said.. realistically it doesn’t make any sense.

R: Mm. Good answer, Whumpee.

------------------------

this interview uses the questions from Character Ask Game post by @inhurtandincomfort !! thanks homie!

((more Whump))

[rebouks]

Previous // Next

Hi Alex!

I don’t think it’s stupid or cheesy to miss someone, I miss you too! Going back to normal after being on holiday is always horrible, especially after this one, and especially having to go back to school, I’m not a big fan! Do you go to school too? I wanted to ask if you did but I couldn’t… it’s nothing personal, by the way, sometimes I just can’t speak to people and I don’t really know why. I thought it was my decision if I did or didn’t before I met you but maybe not. My parents n’ the teachers at school call it selective mutism but I won’t bore you with all that crap.

I can’t see your new teeth but they grow fast so maybe next time! If they don’t maybe you could get some gold one’s like your dad has, unless you don’t wanna look like a pirate lol.. my littlest sister has four teeth now, and I have all my big teeth! I haven’t counted the twins though cos they’d probably bite me if I tried haha!!

Ava is the tiny one with the blonde pigtails! She’s cute but she still sleeps and poops a lot haha, she’s sorta chill though and definitely doesn’t cry as much as Wren and Byrd used to (have you noticed we’re all named after birds yet? I guess my parents thought it was cute since our last name is Finch) Wren’s the ginger one with plaits! She’s pretty funny but she’s super grumpy sometimes and likes to bite and kick (not me though, she loves me) I think it’s cos she’s tired a lot cos she never sleeps at night, kinda like dad.. they’re twins but Byrd is way different, I couldn’t get a picture of him cos he kept running off, he’s crazy like that but he’s super snuggly and loves playing doctor! He likes to pretend to break my legs so I can’t go anywhere then fix them for me haha. Brothers and sisters are fun but they can be a pain in the butt sometimes! We have a cat called Lou too, his full name is Toulouse and he likes to bring us leaves from the garden and scream about ‘em, and he loves stealing food when you’re not looking.

Dad’s been teaching mom how to cook cos she sucks at it (don’t tell her I said that though cos I always pretend it’s not THAT bad) she’s sorta getting better though so I suppose the whole practice makes perfect thing pays off eventually. I got a school project to make a lame volcano that I didn’t wanna do as well, but my parents made me do it anyway.. we all know that real volcanoes aren’t full of baking powder and vinegar though so I dunno if there was much point to it but they seemed to think it was important so I did it anyway, at least I got a picture of it “going off” I guess. No one likes homework, even if it’s supposed to be fun, right?!

It’s cool you set Amber free!! I’m sure she’s happier wherever she is now so I guess you could just think of that when you miss her? The rocks are way cooler anyway! My aunt Aspen has loads of crystals too, sometimes she even charges them in the sun or the full moon.. I keep forgetting to ask her why but I’ll try and remember so I can tell you next time!

Hahaa your poor dad with those birds! I’ll definitely keep the picture cos it’s hilarious, Wren found it the funniest but don’t worry, I’ll keep the picture safe from her sticky hands! I have a hiding spot in the attic for all the stuff I don’t want them touching. I guess birdwatching is sorta fun sometimes but you’ve gotta be quiet (easy for me I guess.. hah!) I’m not sure there’s any other birds round here other than seagulls since we live right next to the sea, those are the ones you can hear the most anyway cos they never shut up! My dad jokes that he used to be a seagull in a past life cos he’s loud and greedy like they are lol.. he’s been building me a treehouse too, I bet that’d be good for birdwatching!! It’ll be super cool once he’s finished but it’s taking ages cos he mostly does it all by himself, I try n’ help sometimes but I’m still too small to carry or lift most things.. I wanna be as strong as him one day, he can build and fix almost anything (he swears a lot during it though haha!) Do you ever think about what you wanna be when you grow up? I don’t really think about that sorta stuff cos working sounds boring, especially if it’s as lame as school!!

I’m ten, by the way! How old are you and when’s your birthday? Mine’s February 22nd. I don’t think I have a favourite food, anything my dad makes is amazing cos he’s a good cook and my mom makes the BEST pancakes! We’re always stuffed after dinner but dad says (lies) that pudding goes in a different part of your stomach so there’s always room for cake haha.. I think I like it best when he makes spicy food but Wren and Byrd hate it so he doesn’t make stuff like that too often. It’s fun to see how much you can eat before your mouth feels like it’s on fire and I’ve decided I’m gonna beat him one day so he better watch out!!!

I didn’t know what to write at first but I guess I sorta ended up writing quite a lot since I had some catching up to do! Are you and your dad on holiday in the tower or are you living there for now? It sorta sounded like you’ve been there a long time, where do you usually live? What kinda stuff does your dad dig up for work? It’d be cool if he dug up dinosaur bones!! I watched something like that recently and they were HUGE!

It’s hard to think of questions on the spot but you can talk about anything you want too! I probably owe you a million answers as well so you can ask anything you want too! I had fun reading your letter and I’m glad we can be pen-pals even if we don’t get to see each other! Maybe next time we meet in person I’ll be able to say something, but writing would still be fun too so I guess it doesn’t really matter, right?

Love Robin c:

ps. I’m keeping the funny photo of you yelling at your dad and there’s nothing you can do about it!!

pps!! I don’t have a way to print out photos yet otherwise I’d have sent some new ones. Dad gave me an old polaroid ages ago but it’s still broken, his friend said he might be able to fix it though so hopefully I can use that next time. Mom said you can have some of our old ones and the ones from her disposable camera whilst we were on holiday for now though so I’ll send those to you as soon as they come back!

[yourtypicalwriter]

College || (Matt Sturniolo x reader)

GIF Originally posted by @mattsturnioloarchive

Words: 811

Warnings: Some swearing, mentions of being stressed, overwhelmed, and anxious.

Summary: You’re starting college and it’s not living up to your expectations, but Matt’s there to help you through it. college!reader x bf!matt.

Author's Note: College is killing me. Send help. Also, this is my first Sturniolo post...enjoy!

-- Christina

➳ ➳ ➳

You walked straight into Matt's bedroom, dropped your stuff on the floor, and flopped, face first, onto his bed.

Matt wheeled around in his chair to face you. “So...how was the first daaaay?” he asked enthusiastically.

Your voice came muffled through the bedsheets. “It sucked,” you said outright. 

He seemed confused. “What?” He got up from his chair and sat on the edge of the bed. “All you could talk about this summer was how happy you were going to be in college, because you’d finally be learning what you love,” he stroked your back.

You rolled over to face him. “I actually hate it, Matt.”

“Why?” He asked, curiously concerned.

You sat upright and took a deep breath in, indicating a rant was underway.

“Everyone’s so pretentious. And, not to mention, total know-it-alls. Okay, fine, I'm a know-it-all too, but I don’t know it all like they do. And it’s like their entire personality is based on our area of study because it’s all they talk about.” You took a short breath and continued to ramble. “And when they'd answer a question during the lecture, they'd go on 10-minute rants to support their answers. They use such complicated terms, which makes it even harder to try and understand, let alone communicate with them. They eat, breathe, and sleep this crap,” you enunciated. “And I just feel so... stupid.”

“Hey,” Matt began with a gentle tone as you caught your breath. “Don’t for a second think that. You’re the smartest person I know, and it’s okay if you don’t know everything. That’s what you’re there for; to learn, isn’t it?”

You nodded. “I just feel so alone, like I can’t connect with anyone. It’s so weird.”

“You are absolutely not alone.” He wrapped his arms around you in a side hug. “You’ve got a family who loves and supports you; you’ve got friends who you can talk to; and...you’ve got me.” He smiled. “And it’s weird because it’s new. Try not to be so hard on yourself or on people in the class, either. They’re dealing with change, too, y’know? Now school’s a place where they can talk about what they love.”

You played with your fingers. “I know, I know. Now I feel terrible for saying those things. I’m sure they’re all great people. They’re just not my people.”

“I’m ‘your people,’ aren’t I?” He asked proudly.

“Precisely.” You smiled and played with the drawstrings on his sweater.

Your smile induced a wide grin that formed on Matt's face. “I love your smile, and I love when you’re happy,” he shook you lightly. “I don’t ever want you to feel like you’re alone. It’s only the first day. It’ll get better as you go.” He kissed your forehead.

“The thing is, while I was in class, I was like, ‘Okay, wow, this is going pretty well; it’s actually kind of fun.’ But that’s only 'cause we were doing getting-to-know-you games ‘n’ stuff. Then, on my way here, I was thinking it over, and I was like, ‘Damn, bro, this kinda sucks.’ And that’s when I started spiraling. I just…aarrgghh!” You shoved your hands into your face. 

Matt grabbed your wrists gently and moved them to the side, so you could see him. “Hey, don’t worry. I’m sure there’s something you can do about it. If it’s really that horrible, then you can switch programs, right?”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t work like that.” You shook your head. “It’s not high school anymore. You can’t run to the guidance office and beg that they make everything better within the hour. Even when you did they didn’t, but that’s besides my point. If I drop the program, I might lose the tuition money I paid. That’s big money, Matt. There isn't much I can do about it this year.”

“Shit,” he said. “Okay… So, you stick it out.” He shrugged. “That’s not so bad, is it?”

You made a half-half gesture with your hand, “Eh.”

“C’mon,” he nudged your shoulder with his.

“Okay, I guess not.” You said. “I keep telling myself that it could be worse. And it could. It could be so much worse.” You trailed off.

“We’ll figure it out,” he said reassuringly, “but for now...”

“...I’ll stick it out.” You completed his statement. “Maybe I shouldn’t have applied for college at all.” Matt was about to interject, but you kept going, “I just see how happy you, Nick, and Chris are, and I guess… I just want that, too.”

"That’s true for us, but it’s not always true for everyone else. Don’t doubt yourself. See where this year takes you. Trust me.”

“Either way, you’re lucky.” You said finally.

Matt looked at you with a goofy grin. You just knew he was about to say something corny as hell.

“To have you," he questioned, rhetorically. "I know.”

➳ ➳ ➳

Completed October 2024 ©2024 yourtypicalwriter

↩︎ Back to Masterlist

[alwayssassydreamer]

bad decisions lead to pleasant outcome

Before you continue: english is not my first language so please bare with me. Also this is the first fic I’ve ever posted and I’m still trying to improve so sorry if this is a little chaotic and so darn long. I actually got a little carried away. Sorry about the rushed end I’m horrible at writing smut. And i only write fem!reader at least for now sorry about that. And the picture does not belong to me. Oh and the story is not proofread cause I'm lazy af.

For the story: in this story you will have a devilfruit which has no name bc i suck at names but nonetheless it allows you to „die“ without dying – yeah i know makes zero sense. No seriously what i mean is that it’s kinda like in a video game where you have 3 lives before it’s game over and that’s exactly your power. You can die up to 2 times within 24hours before you need to „reload“ otherwise it’s game over for you. Yep now that I’ve written it down it sounds super weird but it’s too late to change it….so have fun.

Warnings: i have no idea – swearing, maybe a little violence/threat of death, smut-ish at the end (consent), MDNI

Shanks x Reader

You’ve been pirating around with your crew for quite some time now earning you a pretty nice bounty on your head, though not as spectacular as some strawhat you’ve heard of. If someone outside your crew would’ve to describe you they’d probably say you’re cocky, overconfident and a little ruthless. But that’s what you had to be to survive in this world. Your crew, on the other hand, would describe you as a caring, loyal and fearless captain, capable to fight off enemies stronger than you just to defend them. Your devilfruit being rather useful in that case. After a long time out on sea everyone was glad to finally catch sight of an island. You and the crew decided to celebrate this with your remaining alcohol. When you set your first steps on this island you already started to regret drinking so much. You weren’t completely wasted like some of your crew but walking a straight line was kinda difficult. Therefore you decided it would be best if everyone remaind either on the ship or the beach till you all would sober up. After a few hours passed by you decided that it was time to check the island and refill your stocks. The island seemed pretty calm with no sign of someone bothering you when you’d take what you needed. You got to a small town and decided that after still feeling alittle giddy from drinking, it would be better not to cause any drama – steal what you need and then get back on the ship and sail off. In your head everything would work out perfectly, the crew would split up, some distracting the towns people while the others take what you needed. As soon as the people realize that they’ve been robbed you’d be long gone. But of course things did not work out as you planned. A few of the towns people recognized you from your wanted poster, followed by catching 2 of your crew mates stealing some alcohol. Just your luck. You had to fight the unexpectedly good armed and trained enemies off leading to a destroyed bakery, some knocked out men and a boost of your ego. You called for your crew to pack up the stolen stuff and get back to the ship. With a shit eating grin you looked around the town, then made sure that none of your crew gets left behind. „Thanks for the goods and the entertainment“ you shouted dripping of arrogance. As you hurried back you smiled to yourself, thinking about how easily you defeated these people and why you didn’t fight them off in the first place. You were so caught up in your thoughts that you didn’t see the other ship that had arrived at the island, nor the men that have been watching the whole scene that just happened.

As you got closer to the beach a strange feeling started to spread through you. Out of instinct you reached for your sword but you didn’t have the time to pull it out when you heard a deep voice behind you. „Better keep your sword where it is. Wouldn’t want your crew to get hurt“ the voice grumbled. You immediately looked over to your crew and saw that they were held at gunpoint by some men you couldn’t quite recognize from the distance. You took a deep breath, you didn’t mind that someone was threatening you, you still had your devilfruit but what got you really nervous was the safety of your crew. If they get shot they’re going to die and that was a thought that made you a little scared and at the same time kinda angry. How dare some asshole threatening you and them. You let out a small angry huff and slowly turned around ready to attack that fucker behind you. But as soon as you turned around you felt the tip of a sword at your throat. You gasped. Not because of the sword but because you saw who was holding it. Red hair, scar over his eye, only one arm and an expression that made it clear that he was in a really bad mood. „Shanks“ you mumbled to yourself. You had never met the yonko before but you’ve heard a lot of stories about him and his men. For a moment you lost all your confidence, you were intimidated by his appearance. Fear struck you as you looked into his eyes. You bit your lower lip and looked over your shoulder to your crew before taking a deep breath. You knew you couldn’t let him see that you were in fact scared of him. Not now. Not with your crew in danger. So you did the only thing you could think of – be a pain in the ass. The most arrogant smile spread across your face as you looked back at him.

„Think that’s funny little lady?“ He hissed low and threatening. „Kinda,“ you said still with that smile on your face while deep inside you were shaking. „So it’s funny for you to have a sword at your throat and my men holding your crew at gunpoint“ he said pushing the sword a little into your skin drawing some droplets of blood. You gasped still trying to remain as cocky as you could. „Well, the thing is i could easily kill you right now. Sure you would probably slit my throat in that process but unlike you i won’t die“ you replied as you looked him deep in the eye. He raised a brow and looked over to his men then back at you. „I know“ he calmly hummed catching you by surprise. „I’ve heard of you and your devilfruit and i know that you have to be killed more than once but i think that doesn’t apply to your crew“ he said nodding over to them. „It’s up to you how this is going to end“ he added. You nibbled on your lips, looking down at the sand then over to your crew before looking down again. Well you knew you were screwed. There was no way to win this fight without losing either your lives or worse losing your entire mates. „What do you want?“ You asked defeated, avoiding his gaze. „You and your crew caused a lot of trouble in my territory“ His territory?!? How could you not see that this was HIS territory. You cursed yourself for being such an idiot and not realizing this. You vowed to never drink again when you reach an island. „See the people on this island depend on my protection therefore i cannot let you leave after destroying the bakery and fighting the towns people“ he growled as he leaned closer. You swallowed hard, his stare was so intense you were sure he could see inside your soul. At the same time you felt something else, something you haven’t felt in years. You had to look away, heart beating so fast you thought you’d lose one of your lives due to a heart attack. „What happened to that cocky attitude. Don’t tell me you’re scared“ he taunted and that’s when you snapped. You launched forward pushing the sword away from your throat with one hand, leaving a cut on it, while grabbing for your own with the other. Needless to say that was a really bad idea because just a few seconds later you heard a rumble from where your crew and then found yourself laying on your back in the sand, sting on your neck. „Don’t kill them, everything’s fine here. Seems the little lady got a bit offended“ shanks shouted over to his men. „Maybe you should stop playing around before someone gets hurt“ a tall muscular man with greyish hair and a scar on his face yelled over to shanks. „Calm down beck, I’ve got everything under control“.

You let out a small squeak when you felt shanks‘ sword move over your stomach up to your heart at the same time feeling blood run down your neck. Luckily for you the cut wasn’t too deep – no life wasted. „You almost got your crew killed“ shanks continued to taunt you. But he was right that was a close call and you finally had to admit it – there’s no way out of this. „Next wrong move and they die“ he scolded. „Just tell me what you want and stop being an asshole“ the words just blurted out of your mouth but shanks just looked at you amused. „Well if you’re that eager, i want your crew to rebuilt the bakery, give everything you’ve stolen back and i want them to stay here and help out for as long as it takes to humble you.“ He said kneeling down, his knee right next to your head. „If you think we’re“ you started but he interrupted you „I’m sorry, guess i didn’t make myself clear. I want your crew to stay here. You, little lady, will come with us“. You stared at him with wide eyes, mouth open to yell at him. But you couldn’t no words came out.

God no one ever told you what an attractive man the yonko was. No. You shook your head, now was not the time to swoon over him, he attacked you, threatened to kill your crew, he’s an asshole, a good looking one though. „Be a good girl and stop being a pain in my ass“. Shanks said with a cheeky smile, ripping you out of your thoughts. Does he know what you’re thinking, can he read your mind? His scary and intimidating expression seemed to fade as he put the sword away. „Now we will walk over to your crew and you will tell them that they’re going to stay here until we come back“ he commanded offering you his hand to help you up. For a moment you wanted to take it but then decided against it, shoving it away and getting up yourself. „Still being a brat huh“. You glared at him as he took a step closer. „Maybe I’ll have to teach you a lesson once we get on the ship“ he whispered in your ear, making you gasp and shudder. After explaining to your crew what’s going to happen and watching them walk back to the town accompanied by two of Shanks‘ men you felt the strong urge to run away. You didn’t want Shanks to teach you a lesson, nor to stay on his ship. Well you didn’t get far when suddenly two strong arms wrapped around you and threw you over his shoulder „Not so fast little lady.“ The man you recognized as benn beckmann scolded. Shanks and his men just chuckled as you tried to wriggle out of beckmanns grasp to no use. Once on the ship, beckmann followed shanks into a cabin. „She’s a spirited one, better be careful“ beckmann said to shanks as he put you down. „Don’t worry I’m gonna tame her“ Shanks said devilish grin on his face, while you started to feel a knot in your stomach. Tame you? What is that supposed to mean? Is he going to torture you? Now you started to panic but tried your best not to show it. Beckmann stepped closer one hand reaching for your sword the other grabbed your chin with one finger to make you look up at him. You swallowed trying not to break the eye contact between you two. After what felt like an eternity of him burning holes into your soul he let go of you and left the room without another word as you looked after him. „I can ask him to join us later on if you want.“ Shanks said with a small laugh looking you up and down. „But by the way you’re looking after him it seems you wouldn’t mind“

You just looked at him dumbstruck only now realizing that you’ve been biting your lower lip while your hands had a tight grip on your shirt. „But first I’ll have to teach you a lesson for what you did today“ he grabbed your waist and pulled you closer to him. Out of instinct you put your hands up and on his chest. You were so close you could feel the warmness coming from his body. You knew you couldn’t resist him forever, especially not if he was this close. You looked down at his shirt, hands carefully moving to it’s buttons opening them one by one. Shanks watched you unbutton his shirt while his hand moved under yours caressing your stomach, making you twitch and gasp at the ticklish feeling. Once you were done he let you remove the shirt from him. „Now take your clothes off“ he commanded as he let go of you. „Make me“ you teased not sure if that was a good idea (given your streak of bad ideas it probably wasn’t). „I thought you wanted to teach me a lesson“you continued feeling as cocky as you did when you fought the towns people. But when you looked into his eyes you immediately started to regret saying that. They were full of mischief and his smile was devilish. You didn’t have time to react when he launched forward grabbing your hair and pushing you onto the bed behind him. „I wanted to go easy on you but i feel like you need someone to put you in place right now“ he hissed, as you tried to wriggle away. „Where do you think you’re going.“ He teased as he grabbed your ankle pulling you closer to the edge of the bed. He unbuckled his belt and got on top of you. „Keep in mind that everything happening now is your own fault“ he growled as he ripped your clothes from you. In an instant you were completely naked underneath the yonko. The sudden air on your exposed skin made you gasp. He leaned closer kissing around your breast while his hand moved on your inner thigh drawing circles getting closer and closer to your private part. You let out a moan as he bit down on one of your nipples, feeling a smile spread on his face. „You will be sorry after I’m done with you. Now let me hear you scream my name little lady“ he said as he kissed a way up to your face until his lips brushed yours as his hand finally made contact with your center. He got you so riled up but then denied you and that went on for some time till you were a begging and pleading mess. After Shanks thought that you’ve learned your lesson he made you cum over and over again. Needless to say that his name was heard all over the ship. As you went from one high to another you thought that maybe the decisions you made today weren’t that bad after all.

[prettyoddfever]

I just wanted to say, I love your blog. You post so much information that’s not only interesting, but also validating, as someone who sees 24/7 misinterpretations of the band’s history on TikTok (I have an account where I post edits there). I first became active in the Panic fandom literally as the band was splitting up, which was just /amazing/ lol, but I took a huge step back from fandoms/online communities related to my interests when I started college. I recently came back around a year or so ago, because I enjoy making edits and wanted to indulge in my interests again, only to find out that 90% of Panic-related content online has just been overrun with misinformation/Brendon-haters etc. It was honestly jarring for me because so many of the things people claim as evidence of Brendon being horrible (That he assaulted and abused Ryan, that the band split up because Brendon forced Ryan out, that Ryan was basically forced out of the frontman role, etc…), are just so crazy to someone who knows that’s just not accurate! Your blog has reassured me that I am not crazy and the way I remember things is not a figment of my imagination lol. Even though I was very young when some of these things were happening, my older sister was OBSESSED with Panic and I was into whatever she was into, haha, we still reminisce to this day. I have been literally harassed on TikTok for commenting “in defense” of Brendon Urie underneath a post where someone insisted that every time he got near Ryan on stage, it was without Ryan’s consent. I knew that Brendon had “got cancelled” but I had no idea that people were that serious about it… When half of the things they claim aren’t even real. I know it’s not their fault that they’ve consumed misinformation, but there is no changing people’s minds, even with evidence, which is sad to me. It really sucks that newer fans of the band have such a bitter, twisted narrative around the band’s early eras and the split. But so many of the things they reference happened before they were probably born, yet they swear they’re more knowledgeable than someone who was kinda there…

Anyway, I’m sorry for the wall of text, I just needed to get that out and I really appreciate the time and effort you put into your blog! Not only is it just fun to read, but it really takes me back to my growing-up years, and it’s refreshing to see a take on PATD that’s more “normal” in my eyes.

You put this so well oh my goodness. 100% yes to everything you said. I've heard similar things from some other returning fans over the past couple years and I just relate to all of it so much. I mentioned at the bottom of this post how I drifted away from the Panic fandom for about a decade and coming back was so confusing at first. But trying to wrap my mind around everything also helped me understand modern politics in a way, though? Like now I can see how it's totally possible that a large crowd of people can literally invent their own reality, readily believe whatever they hear in their echo chamber, and then willfully ignore facts, evidence, and firsthand accounts if those contradict the narrative they'd prefer to believe.

Sometimes I'm sad for some newer P!ATD fans who could easily spare themselves a lot of stress & perceived injustice by simply learning about the real band & members. But they're free to focus on whatever they want, I suppose. I'd rather spend my time focusing on fun memories and organizing my little Special Interest mess lol. I’m also happy to clarify stuff or try to answer questions if people are genuinely curious... it’s fun to see others who are interested. Anyways, I'm so glad you're still a fan of the band! Sorry it took me months to reply. And I love your wall of text because it means you care. 🧡

[clownhara]

is there like a jester ocs 101 i do wanna learn about them

Putting these under a read more because this might get long

My family :)

Edward Roberts-Rosales: I made too many jokes about this bastard being my dad and now he's my dad. High key wants to fuck plants. Evades taxes like no ones business. Kind of a shit guy but it's funny to watch him mess up everything so we keep him alive for that alone Max Rosales: My better dad. Can really do so fucking much better than Edward but he settled </3. Is a plant man. Likes baking. Is the dad that actually loves me. Heron Rosales: I don't do to much with her but I'm trying to do more. Max's trans sister. Wants Edward dead and honestly, we don't blame her. Average chronic pain haver tbh please get her some Ibuprofen. Boaty McBoatface: My brother who is a boat. Edwards favorite son, despite being terrified of being on boats after he was the sole survivor of a ship wreck. I fuckinh hate this thing

Project Moon adjacent ones

Despise Domek (Or just Des): Local Enkphalin hooked rat. Goes by it/they but people close to it can call them she/her. There are two remaining people who can call them she/her. Steals things from people it likes to keep a piece of them, so don't invite them to your house. Things WILL go missing. Says the phrase "Well it didn't kill me so I'm fine" way to god damn often. Ambrose Domek: Not actually related to Des at all his parents just stole Des's parents last name. We heart religious fanaticism to the point of self harm!!!!!! Has two boyfriends and has convinced himself neither of them like him. Him and Des are besties :) Keith: Real Jester-heads remember Keith. I made this bastard before Ruina came out and he keeps fucking staying relevant to whatever game is out. How does he do it. Lobcorp him is Geb and Myo's adopted son, a Rabbit, and had a complex where he's gotta prove himself 24/7 and ends up getting his leg ripped off. Ruina him is trying to find Gebura again after the whole Library situation happened, and is wildly distraught after learning Myo's whole deal. Limbus Keith is content, much older, runs a weapons shop, and is gay married to Heathcliff. Jesus Christ I made him before the new translation of Lopcorp happened I think HOW LONG HAS HE EXISTED WHAT THE FUCK

Damien Domek: Also not related to Des, just took it's last name because he liked it. They are qprs though. Also is broke as shit but mostly stays out of the Rat lifestyle by just old fashioned robbing people. Loves lying to people for fun and profit, but he is honestly a pretty nice guy. Minus the lying

Randos

Arlo: Disgusting rancid cyborg scientist who needs to bathe and touch grass. I adore him though. Ellie: Arlos little sibling. She/they user. Kills people for money and feeds the bodies to the eldritch horror that follows her around Hector: The eldritch horror that follows Ellie around. usually just looks like a dilf tbh its easier for Ellie to explain. Can't actually speak so he usually just talks telepathically while making a bunch of hums, chirps, and clicks to mimic speaking.

Oleander: Local unethical scientist that unethicaled a bit too hard when trying to revive his even worse older brother and turned off most of his emotions manually to avoid coping with the mental toil. Sad! Many such cases. Can't feel any emotions other then joy now. Kinda sucks but he certainly doesn't seem to upset about it :)

Simon: Oleadners brother. Kinda. Moreso a robot piloting Oleanders brothers body. Fucking hates Oleander but after Oleander lobotomized himself Simon begrudgingly takes care of him now. Despite his complicated feelings, he's wildly overprotective.

Cybel: A robot Oleander made! They are meant to gather as much information as they possibly can in case some horrible event happens that kills off humanity. is quite literally indestructible. Likes ice cream.

Octavius: I made this guy to be a danganrompa villain back in high school and I succeeded too well. I fucking hate this fake ass bitch

Tabb: This fucking guy. Trapped in a time loop but he doesn't know and its technically not a time loop. Met his (now) husband ages ago but died shortly after meeting him, so he revived Tabb, then the two got married, then Tabb died again so Halt (the husband) revived him again but he lost his memories then halt died and Tabb revived him the Tabb died again so Halt revived him but he lost all his memories so they dated again and got remarried then Tabb died again and you get the idea. Very nice guy, a bit anxious, perfectly normal minus the dying thing. If it wasn't for him losing all his memories and Halt tampering with shit so he was in love with him i uh. Don't think he'd actually like Halt all that much tbh

Halt: Just wants to be happy with his husband :(. Sad he unethicaled all over that science. Hey are you noticinga theme here. Also he's a cat boy but thats really not relevant to his depression issues

Urge: Halts kinda milfy twin sister. Really sick of all of this loop bullshit because she gets to watch her bestie Tabb die repeatedly, so she packed up her bags and left. Can't be in the same room as Halt without them getting into a fist fight. Do you see the themeing with their namesan d their ideals. Halt is kinda halted in place but Urge keeps pushing forward because she has the urgeto move on. Do you see it. It is almost 1 am

Russel: A kid that got roped into this whole mess because he walked in on a Tabb revival tube without permission. Sticks around Urge most of the time. Had a bad homelife to put it mildly, so Urge took him in.

Theres way more of these bastards but these are the most relevant ones. I am going to bed now. Goobnight

[dedfly]

I just had a *delicious* Shadow Milk/Reader idea!

What if, after the events of the game, Reader finds Shadow Milk Cookie (whether Reader's inside or outside the Tree's barrier is up to you) sulking or generally being upset that he hadn't gotten his way after his defeat. Being a good friend/lover/etc., Reader then decides to (either right then or after a bit of time to prepare) play him a song like they were his personal court jester & he was their king?

I think he'd appreciate something like that (and probably find it endearing), although he might tease that they had better not try and steal the show/leave the jesting to him, y'know?

Like, reader is just really playing up the antics and making fun of those *terrible, no good cookies* that had slighted him in an attempt to cheer him back up some. I just think that would be really cute.

- =^ •ᆽ• ^=

I hope it's cute enough

† Shadow Milk cookie x reader †

† Oneshot †

Kinda angsty

Shadow Milk sat covering his head with his hands in defeated position, muttered something under his breath, cursed and spat. Anything to stop the approaching tears. But despite this, a telltale lump was already forming in his throat, and there was an familiar unpleasant feeling of aching pain in his heart. Thousands of years of waiting are down the drain, it’s not fair, it’s not right, and in general just awful.

He would have sat there even longer if he had not heard some fuss. He immediately perk up, quickly wiping his eyes with his puffy sleeve.

Shadow's slitted eyes flashed as soon as they recognized who had come to visit the jester. Despite this, Shadow was, to put it mildly, out of sorts, and maybe if it had been someone else, he would have put on his usual cheerful mask, but not this time. He was amused at the sight before him.

His eyes darted between you laying out your “props”. It was even comical to be on the other end of the stage and be an audience for once. Not that he could make anything out of his imprisonment besides watching and observing.

What’s even more comical is that all attempts to cheer him up only caused him to smile a little, and only because he still noticed how much of an amateur you were. It was warming his heart for sure, but he is too full of himself to admit that.

At that moment when you were telling him about how “mean” the Elder Fairy had done by transferring the powers to White Lily and oh God, they hid this fact from the poor unfortunate jester. Attacking from behind!and who does that anyway? Horrible evil cookies.

Rolling his eyes at another attempt to “suck up” to him, Shadow Milk extended his hand to flick your nose.

“Oh come on, you silly cookie, shoo shoo I've seen enough,” Milk purred before pressing himself against the tines of the fork that were holding him back. Despite the fact that he would never admit it, hearing something so far from the truth that showed him in the best light could not but please him. He reached out to ran his hand along your hair a bit patronisingly, yet not enough so you would notice.

The seeds of deception are sprouting faster than he expected. Even such little lie makes him feel more alive. How pleasant.

________

I feel a bit like in one webtoon where instead of a joke it said *funny joke* while writing it ಠ_ಠ

Ironically, it was also about the jester