#it kinda got away from me a bit

[honor-every-part-of-you]

The Other Brothers

Hannibal never saw the need to disrupt their family dynamic, but Mischa adored the blue-eyed baby from the day he was born.

After their home was attacked that terrible winter, she kept wrapping her scarf and coat around the baby, insisting he needed it more than she did. Hannibal would return to their campsite from searching for food to find her shivering and blue lipped, singing sleepily to the little bundle.

Then came the ice white horror of returning to a ransacked camp, tearing in blind rage along the trail left by the raiders back to the burnt shell of their family home. When he found the wretched creatures huddled around a pot of stew and ignoring the crying infant in the corner, he knew. They’d killed Mischa first. More meat, and less need to share it. The baby continued to scream as blood spattered the walls.

Hannibal was so angry at the child for being the one to survive that he could have left him there beside his sister’s tiny frozen grave. But Mischa had made him promise.

Through the following years, he kept his promise. Even as it became clear that little Adam needed specialized attention, Hannibal never allowed Uncle Robertus to send him to away to school. Hannibal was surprised to realize that despite his fussiness, the little boy’s nature suited him. He was a quiet, reserved child, content to spend hours silently playing with building blocks and listening to stories. Adam absorbed information at an incredible rate, and never seemed bothered by the eerie menace Hannibal hadn't yet learned to hide. Hannibal taught him to read, found foods he could eat, and calmed his rages.

But unlike his baby brother’s flareups over immediate environmental stimuli, easily rectified, Hannibal’s anger was as cold and silent and absolute as an ice storm.

The third time a local villager was found with their belly sliced open, surrounded by flowers and posed as a Botticelli painting, Uncle Robertus suggested it would be prudent for Hannibal to apply to medical schools in the States.

—

Fuck, Nigel hated their old man. The bastard came home drunk again and started giving Will shit about reading again. It was bad enough that Will took after their mother, slender and pretty - being studious on top was apparently a bridge too far.

Nigel flung a tiny packet of powder at their father, who snatched desperately at it and retreated to the back room. It would be worth eating the cost to give Will some peace and quiet. He had a test the next day.

Though fuck knows the kid’s a scrappy little thing. He’d matched their dad blow for blow when the old man lost his shit over Will bringing home a stray. Bastard tried to kick the little wiener dog out the back door. Will had him laid out in less than a minute, despite being a buck thirty soaking wet. Nigel heard the ruckus and skidded into the kitchen just in time to see Will topple their old man backwards, making sure his skull hit the corner of the fridge. Nigel considered rolling him over - alcohol poisoning and a concussion was not a good combination - but if the drunken piece of shit drowned in his own vomit, well, so be it.

Nigel then had to talk Will into taking the stray to the shelter. If their dad woke up with her still in the house, the little dog would pay the price. It would blow all Will’s plans to go to college if he gutted the asshole on their kitchen floor. Nigel still bought him a knife on the walk home.

Will was awarded a full ride to school in New Orleans, but he was also offered a partial scholarship to Georgetown. Nigel cleared his throat, scuffed his shoe, and casually mentioned that he’d enjoy setting up a business in DC.

Will grinned at him. “Are you offering to pay for my law enforcement degree with drug money?” Nigel grinned back, and they laughed until their father shouted at them to shut the fuck up.

They found a broken down old house out in the countryside between DC and Baltimore. Nigel had enough saved up for a down payment and a bunch of materials. Over the summer, Will got the downstairs livable while Nigel established contacts in the city. Most of the product on the streets came through the heavy security at the National Harbor, so there was a good opportunity to set up an overland corridor from the port in New Orleans.

By Will’s junior year, they had the upstairs presentable for when either of them brought a girl home, though neither did. Will had a crush on a pretty TA who was rumored to be dating a professor, and Nigel found it easier to crash in the city rather than bring some hookup back to their sanctuary. They filled the house with dogs instead.

One night when they got home late and let the pack out for a run, instead of milling around the general area of the house, the dogs lit out across the field. Nigel and Will chased after them, calling for them to heel. They caught up to the pack circled quietly in front of an imposing man who looked bizarrely sleek and elegant for someone standing in the middle of a field in the middle of the night.

Nigel was wondering if he was going to have to smack Will upside the head to shake him out of staring in disbelief at the man when the most beautiful boy Nigel had ever seen peered around the stranger’s shoulder, clutching what looked like a telescope to his chest.

“Hello”

[purpleminte]

Sparkly AND Soft™

[ryllen]

Look what came through the mail today! The letters & ( •̀ω•́ )σ 3 little gremlins from letterstoear.

Just wanna say i adore the flower stickers on the letters too much, they are that much worth mentioning.

[g00seg1raffe]

So there was a post a while back about Ben Solo always being told "don't do (x), that's how uncle luke lost his hand" when he was a kid - and I raise you: Elrond and Elros being told "don't do (x), that's how Maedhros lost his hand"??

Like, at Amon Ereb when the twins were newly acquired and refusing to eat their vegetables and Maglor is Mag-mothering them until Erestor, feral half-sane clinically depressed anarchist Avari hostage/patient/infiltrator and Certified Little Shit, hits em with:

"I would listen to the Lord Maglor, winyamor, he well knows the dangers that come to young elflings who don't eat enough vegetables - after all, that's how his brother lost his hand."

Elrond looks conflicted. Elros squints suspiciously. "Truly?"

Erestor, practically comatose since the massacre but ultimately saved from Fading by the biological compulsion to fuck with you, lays a hand over his heart. "I would never lie about such a thing! Just what do you take me for? This is a true tale and a grave warning - the Lord Maedhros' hand was tragically lost in the days of his youth, whilst he was still growing as you are. He refused to eat his vegetables and so, cruelly deprived of the strength it needed to grow strong, his body started to fall apart! First his fingers, then his thumb, and then his palm and wrist - all turned blue and dropped off!"

"No!" Elrond gasps. Elros looks both terrified and impressed. Maglor's face is scrunched up into something that the twins probably interpret as pained - at reminder of the horrors of limbs falling off! - but is actually just him busting a rib trying not to laugh.

"Yes!" Erestor cries with relish. "And it never grew back. All because he didn't eat his vegetables. Isn't that right, Lord Maedhros?"

Maedhros, a looming terror at the head of the table, scarred and solemn and impenetrable as his fortresses, narrows his eyes consideringly at the unfolding shenanigans and the rascal behind it. His conclusion? Fuck it. He gives a slow, solemn nod. Completely deadpan and exaggeratedly formal, because it may have been centuries since he last had his brothers smothering laughter at political dinners but the Finwëan sense of humour, once caught, is not an ailment easily cured.

Maglor conceals his wheezes behind his goblet as Erestor nods sagely to the wide-eyed twins, who suddenly seem a sight more interested in their vegetables.

[bowsbar]

thoughts on finale: entirely serviceable if not eyeroll inducing at some parts and hair-pullingly obtuse at others. i dont like box existing but 1. everyone saw it coming from a mile away and 2. for a show with intentions (in the later stages of its production and writing) to tie up all loose ends and explain everything logically it would make no sense to Not explain box in some capacity and the explanation they did give works fine. i have no issues with box as a character shes cute i liked her interactions with suitcase oomf is obsessed with sinjin drowning it all works out.. buttt it is that second bullet that wears at me like chronic back pain in a more general sense relating to ii. ive talked about it before, its the evolution of ideals with where the writers want to take the show. i feel like ii works best either when its Being goofy (early ii2 is peak) or when its taking itself extremely seriously (ii14 was good), but they try to mesh those two extremes into one being and it does not work whatsoever. you can watch the slider go from one extreme to the other going from season 1 to ii2 finale. Theres really no cure to this, the conditions they evidently worked under of We must make it serious and We cannot retcon past episodes created what we got and While there is so much i can nitpick and a lot of things i dislike about it, when looking at it as a whole i think the final product is.. serviceable. ii's writing is a victim of circumstance, with the circumstance being A passion project stretched across more than a decade of production that (keyly) started when the creators were children. i just wish something ive spent so many hours thinking about and talking about and bonding with others over and creating fanart for had a more solid foundation. i appreciate what it is while simultaneously mourning what couldntve been. i hope that makes sense

[melonyfelonyfellonme]

This is a really big stream of consciousness so I'm sorry if it doesn't make a lot of sense lmao but I really do 100% agree with the folk saying Lucanis probably had a crush on Rook from the very beginning

But see when that develops further and you realise it's not a daft wee crush anymore, and you have fallen - scary And then you find out they feel the same - terrifying, what the hell is going on

I can definitely understand how he gets a fright in the almost-kiss scene, and further when they actually get together, that's he's bewildered about the whole thing - it's disarming, and vulnerability doesn't come easily to someone whose life is taking out targets left and right, who is made to survive. Taking this further, if Lucanis doesn't make it in the final battle, and Rook has romanced him, Isabela comments on their fleeting touches, as if he's making sure it's not a fever dream and--

Like, going from being afraid of the idea of falling in love, to letting it happen (probably bewildered the whole time that it's actually happening) to losing Rook for weeks on end, and when Rook comes back even they need reassured that they're back in the real world, to then feeling comfortable and relaxed enough around Rook to fall asleep (but refuses bc he doesn't want to miss a moment with them)

Nah this romance kills me so bad uugghhhh

[batsplat]

It's a thing I already knew but all your beautiful analysis really made obvious (to me) how much of a grudge holder vale is. That man is never letting it go he's gonna hold his grudges into his grave

you know, I do think this is an interesting issue, because I'm not sure this is true of all his grudges. just sticking here with the grudges he accumulated in his capacity as a competitor, rather than just his general approach to life or whatever... how you judge this will kinda depend on how you feel about the 'reconciliation' he's experienced with some of his rivals - and whether you read the whole thing as sincere or not. now, personally I reckon he still dislikes biaggi, but also you are allowed to just dislike people so I'll give him a pass for that. some of the others, I'm a little more convinced by the whole reconciliation schtick

let's get valentino's take:

interesting that he mentions those three together, isn't it? and like, he's still not messaging biaggi or inviting him to his home - "even with max" kind of tells you all you need to know - but the other two? they said some proper nasty things to each other over the years!! I mean, the casey rivalry, there's some remarks from both sides where quite frankly I think I would struggle just a touch to get over it

I don't know, obviously this could all be pr stuff, but I kind of feel like... y'know, why bother? it's 2022, you're retired, who gives a fuck? sure it's a good look to be all magnanimous, sure it can be a bit of a way of twisting in the knife to the guys left in the cold, but also, who would care if you don't play nice? I think especially with jorge, you surely don't need to do all that, inviting him to your home and dancing with him... (which, again, some of the spats those two had...) and with the casey rivalry, if there's one guy who's still hung up about what happened between the pair of them, it's obviously casey (speaking of blokes who can hold a grudge). maybe this is giving valentino too much credit, but personally I buy it's more or less sincere. there's nothing to really indicate he's still particularly bothered by any of their past disagreements - he's basically going for the 'all's fair in love and motorcycle racing' approach. he knows he was an asshole, he accepts they were assholes too, whatever, that's how these things work. he's generally a fan of drama in rivalries, unsurprisingly, and he was happy enough to contribute his fair share - but he does see it as fundamentally being part of the game

to point out the obvious, check out who he's left out: sete and marc. that's where he can't let go of the grudges... because it's not about the offence itself as much as it is about the betrayal. this is the thing with valentino, right, it's about what kind of bond you had with him. if you weren't his friend in the first place and then piss him off as a rival then, y'know, whatever. obviously he's going to be vicious in trying to get back at you, but also he's really not going to waste his time feeling too aggrieved by it. I mean, think about how all the bullshit between him and casey dropped off sharply post-2012... from valentino's end anyway. think about how jorge and valentino pretty quickly got on again whenever they weren't fighting for supremacy within yamaha. they weren't friends in the first place, then they were enemies for competitive reasons for a while there, then it's over and valentino is basically happy enough to call it bygones

but... if it's a certain kind of bond you had with him and then you wrong him... that little mental list of all his past grievances, all your past transgressions, that's where it comes in. that's where he ices you out. denies you any emotional warmth. ensures that any interaction going forward is conducted entirely on his terms. where even any public 'reconciliation' won't truly be sincere.... or, certainly he's not going to forget what happened. if something else happens... it's like you've always got the potential of triggering this lingering resentment, in a way, where all that past stuff is still primed and ready to be called upon. he certainly doesn't just let it go

or, as he puts it in his autobiography:

Biaggi and I never talk to each other. I mean, we've never had a real conversation, anything that's lasted more than the requisite time to insult each other or put each other down, in the nastiest way possible. In any case, I don't hate him. It's true, we've never been friends, but hatred is something different, and that's too serious a word to describe our relationship. Far too serious. No, we have a reciprocal antipathy. No doubt this is a result of what we do for a living and the fact that we both want to win every single time. And perhaps it's also a function of the fact that we have very different personalities and very different ways of seeing things. Still, I don't think this means we hate each other, as some journalists have written. I think I could feel hatred for someone, but only for someone far worse than anything Biaggi has done. For example, if I were betrayed by a friend, then, yes, I could hate him. But Biaggi will never betray my friendship for the simple reason that we are not, and never have been, friends. Our relationship is very clear: we compete on the track - outside the track, each goes his own way. You could say we detest each other cordially.

... I mean. he said it, not me. and given this book was first published in '05... biaggi can't betray his friendship because they were never friends... I'm not saying he's thinking about sete, but it has to at least be a possibility, right? he's talking about one rivalry here and refusing to even mention the other... and the one he's refusing to mention is the one where he was friends with the other bloke. I don't know, maybe that's reading too much into it! and anyway, even if this passage wasn't really about sete, it's obviously still revealing. "detest each other cordially" is essentially what he was doing with casey and jorge (or from his point of view in any case, not entirely sure they'd agree with that). the grudge comes when he feels let down by you... and then, yes, he'll never let it go

of course, he's willing to set aside his grievances for a while if there's sufficient motivation for him to do so. in 2009, when he had so definitively won that rivalry with sete, why bother kicking up a fuss? in 2016, quite frankly it was just too much, and it was getting to the point where it was obviously hurting him too. on the one hand there was the media furore that had been going on non-stop since sepang, on the other hand it was also hurting his own approach to racing. there's reports from the time how visibly aggrieved he still was in the first few races of the season, and it took until they got back to europe for him to... y'know, have fun again. it's not sustainable to be walking around with a constant dark cloud over your head and broadcasting burning resentment towards your two main rivals. certainly not for someone like valentino - he needs to be having fun! the slight rapprochement needed to happen, in a way, because otherwise those years would have been even worse for everyone involved. but that doesn't actually translate to forgetting any of those grudges. this is about convenience more than anything else

goes to show, really... most of the time he doesn't take these things personally. I talked about it a bit in this post, how maybe it's also something that changed over time for him: the question of whether he was willing to develop these kinds of bonds in the first place with competitors... because he does possess a certain level of self-awareness in terms of what these kinds of rivalries are like and what they do to interpersonal relationships. ideally, you don't want to be hurt by a friend like that, right? better not to have that kind of emotional attachment with your competitors in the first place. how unfortunate it'd be if all those years after sete the circumstances aligned for him to see a competitor as something like a friend again... because, after all, those are the only people who could betray him. those are the only people where he thinks he could truly hate them

[snezfics-n-shit]

[trensu]

do you think you'll put "Stasis in darkness" on AO3 eventually?

see, when the idea first came to me, I hadn't really planned on doing anything with it because I wasn't sure if I could make it work. there's a level of gravitas in the relationship between a god and their devoted servant that I didn't think would translate well to steddie because, let's be real, those boys are goofy dorks. but the idea wouldn't leave me alone so I typed up the original post in an attempt to work it out of my system and move on.

(the post kind of blew up, which I was not expecting at all!! like, not even a little bit! i post all sorts of rough little ideas for my own amusement and I've been able to do that without drawing much attention until that point.)

Anyway, I wouldn't have done much with it but @acowardinmordor left some comments/tags/what have you that helped me nail down the setting in my head which really opened the door for me to explore how the story could progress. (apologies, strife, I'm not sure I ever properly thanked you for that burst of inspiration, so please accept this shoutout as an expression of gratitude). And the amazing @ent-is-indecisive allowed me to rant about it which really helped flesh out the story. Seriously, there are elements and lore coming up that would not have existed if it weren't for ent. (and thank you once again ent for the ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL fanart you made for the reveal scene, I'm still overcome with joy whenever I think about it!).

Once it got to that point, I knew I wanted it to be a self-contained story and I was afraid that if I did a multi-chapter fic I'd lose the thread and never make it to the ending I want the fic to have. (no, the end scene hasn't been written yet but I KNOW what it's going to be and I hope everyone will love it as much as i do). So I promised myself that I was not going to post it on ao3 until the whole thing was written out completely.

However, I occasionally need a confidence/motivation boost so I've been posting consecutive parts of the rough draft here. you have no idea how much the people who reblogged with tags or left comments have helped me fight off the discouragement my brain likes to bog me down with; off the top of my head, @godsweakestboy , @redfreckledwolf, @fuctacles , @spectrum-spectre , and @lawrencebshoggoth have given me lovely, enthusiastic words of encouragement. and they're only the ones I can think of at this moment. there's so many other people who've done this, so if you've ever left me nice tags or comments, please know that I've read every single one of them repeatedly whenever I need to get over a slump. I'm so grateful for all of you!

Anyway, all this is to say yes! It is going to be posted as a oneshot on ao3 once I've finished writing it. <3

[rarilight]

one day I’m actually going to grab everything I went through last year and pour it into a raritwi breakup fic where they don’t get back together and I don’t do my usual thing where I hint there’s hope for them

And I think that will probably be a very emotional and good fic but also it’ll probably be incredibly crushing more than anything Ive ever done so honestly maybe we should all be grateful I haven’t written it yet

[skyafied]

if you are still taking requests, could you draw heavy surrounded birds like a disney princes and medic looking lovingly from the distance

Hey anon how does it feel to have an absolutely massive brain, like just ginormous

[bacchuschucklefuck]

the boy-but-not-that-way-ism of riz gukgak send tweet

[pikhachu]

its time for this thang again lesgo

[spotaus]

Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡

So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.

At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.

Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.

I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.

So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.

If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.

[koqen]

⠀⠀remember me for who i was ⠀⠀☂️

[will-it-be-finished-who-knows]

"Friendliness Training"

Written by Ka'hop Arczon

Any human who wishes to travel the stars (legally) must first participate in and pass "Friendliness Training". We were led to believe this is not the official name of the program, but every human we interviewed refused to call it anything else.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As you may know, humans are deathworld predators, incredibly dangerous with a love of chaos, and as such possess many behaviors terrifying to other species. However, they are aware of this and how it affects their relationships with other species and seem to actively work against their societal norms and natural instincts to make others comfortable. Further proof of humans' compassion and the strength of their interspecies pack bonding, though that is not the point of this article.

To ensure that no human causes a diplomatic disaster and can work calmly and effectively with other species, the human governments agreed to have a standardized course and test that all space-faring humans must pass: the so-called "Friendliness Training". Through this training, humans learn to suppress some of their more threatening behaviors such as "smiling", the bearing of teeth that can mean anything from joy to malicious intent, and is very difficult for other species to correctly interpret. Until first contact with humans, the bearing of teeth was considered a universal sign of hostility, and this perception is not easily changed, as it is ingrained in many species' instincts.

At any rate, the universe can rest assured that humans are aware of their unintentionally threatening behaviors, and are voluntarily undergoing training to put those around them at ease.