#it kinda bangs tho i get it stuck in my head a lot

[teenagefeeling]

Benji's Very Own Christmas Story (1978)

[emerxshiu]

rat brainrot going hard

sorry for not posting this week, i was cooking some stuff but this drawing took almost the entire week to do, worst part, it was a shitpost

i still dont know why this took me so much

so uh, almost all my drawings this week have been related to this two(and lis) so much so that i struggled because i wanted to draw other things so i would just stare at a blank sheet of paper for over half an hour, god that was torture, tho i dont mind drawing the sillies, sometimes it gets a bit boring drawing the same over and over y'know? im also going to take this as an opportunity to ramble about my forgo gijinka, because surprisingly i hadnt done that yet.

og image

ok now to actually talk about the wet rat

ive tried doing a gijinka of em since i joined the fandom (my first gijinka was fecto elfilis (well not really they were fnaf, but i mean when i got into kirby and when i started using the term gijinka))

but most of the time it just looked like elfilin but like...evil, with a different ear and a hospital gown, thats it, so i barely drew them since i didnt like that, but on february, i actually sketched an idea that i liked, and thought it looked cute but a bit off (i mean off in a good way)

(yes im posting this image again because i think its the best drawing of my forgo (im very inconsistent with my style ok))

they have their eyes closed most of time, like in game, i considered giving them legs but i ended up with the tail, since i didnt want to end up with like a fourth evil elfilin, the arms are like that so i can have em be small and weird like in the actual game, but i also made it so they can like change it, that way i can make em have hands and stuff if necessary (like to hold that frying pan for example)

not sure if a lot of you notice it but um, bro has no neck, i took away his neck privileges, i did it just to see but i ended up falling in love with that and stuck around, and also that allows me to draw them bending their head like in the drawing above because their neck isnt necking and i like that, i like being able to draw characters doing stuff that shouldnt be anatomically possible or is abnormal (i did something a bit similar with void) thair clothes are rugged because well forgotten land you know what i mean, but in general theyre actually pretty simple

i also did the drawing in digital

i tried doing very sketchy lineart, i tried a new brush in this one and thats the one im using for my last drawings (not sure if anyone noticed the brush change) it was pain painting it because i did it all with the brush in the same size, not changing it, god did my hands hurt and it was a bad idea

i accidentaly downloaded the following 3 drawings twice lol

sleepy zzzz

i think they would wear something like this to sleep, i dunno i just wanted to draw em in something cute, and sleepy, with elfilin slippers (the mug also has elfilin btw) oh and also i like changing their hair, here one of their long bangs is tied into a bow, kinda like callie from splatoon, i have some drawing im probably wont post, one more of forgo wich looks very much like the upper one but like eyes closed, and one of fecto elfilis gyaru because my sister asked me to draw them like that, bad thing is i didnt look up references on gyaru since i couldnt use my phone at the moment, i did like the hair i did for them in that one tho, they have their bangs tied up in a bun, and then left the rest loose, making it look longer than it actually is. i might redraw it, but actually looking up gyaru so i can make something more accurate, i like the style, but im not too informed on it

elfilin being silly like a kitty :p

not much more to say on this, just sillines :3

there is totally not a cropped drawing there

based on the kirby manga, where they make it so elfilis sings really bad, at first i didnt like it that much since i had imagined they'd sign great, but after i while i started to find it a bit cute so now its a headcanon, they like to sing but suck at it.

writing this just made me remember i wanted to do another drawing too for this with kirby and them singing, but i forgot to do it, im kinda tired (and its late) ill probably draw it, but for next post or another one

tried drawing fecto forgo as a plushie, silly.

i wanna learn how to sew so i can make plushies of characters (like prince fluf!) but im way too lazy, i will get around it some day! (hopefully)

elfilin too as a plush

i also wanna learn to sculpt, i tried doing a clay kirby once, but one his feet broke in half, and one day my mom put it in a box, and his eyes fell off and stuck to the box :(

i really wanna do figures for characters i like or dont have enough merch or my ocs (prince fluff, flamberge, fecto elfilis)

but as i said, im way too lazy and unmotivated, though its be nice, one day, maybe one day if i stop procrastinating

it doesnt have the same ring to it as "feto rata mojada alien" wich is how my sister and i call them (she doesnt know that much about kirby, but i sometimes show her my drawings (reluctantly sometimes, but im the older so like >:) she has too if she wants to show me her stuff too))

silly rat and wet rat, thats how i call em (because wet rat alien fetus is too long sometimes)

you can tell the brainrot was too strong (were near done(kinda))

they gain a mouth whenever i fell like it very much

artblock hit, and all the rest of pages i stared at them for 30 minutes

it felt weird looking at my fecto elfilis with the eyes so big, it looked off (in a weird way)

dunno, tried drawing them in a different pose i i dunno really

i think these are from tuesday. i did more but those were oc (mostly splatoon) or other kirby character related, and i want this to be a rat post (might post those tommorow or another day maybe)

i dunno (x2), i tried drawing elfilin like elfilis, i really liked the hands here. i still struggle a bit with anatomy but i think this was quite good for my usual character just stading looking at the front or a quarter profile. im considering making this into a fully digital drawing, what do i say by considering im actually doing that fuck it, i just think it looks kinda cool

"This new creation, driven by pure chaos, was defeated by the bright light of Kirby's hope."

Chaos Elfilis reminds me of a moth. kirby's hope is a bright light.

you can see my thought process. i just thought itd be a bit cute and kinda silly and funny.

the kirby fandom wiki, said that chaos elfilis looked akin to a moth, and it just stuck with me, so i wanted my gijinka of them to be moth inspired, and thats when i saw just how cute moths are! i mean im still a bit scared of insects but at least now i kinda like em.

i feel like i need to say sorry to that one moth i desintegrated in a matter of seconds with a book because i thought it was an spider and didnt think (im so sorry little guy)

but ah yeah elfilis, moth, it made sense to me since chaos elfilis has the soul of morpho knight, who is a butterfly, and moths are kinda like butterflies too. and i thought itd be cute

so uh yeah i sometimes like making my chaos elfilis be a bit like a moth, that includes liking light, a lot, so uh kirby is like a lamp in here because i said so

now to talk about the desing since for some reason i hadnt earlier, as i said before, they are very moth inpired so uh im might say that word way too many times (im sorry i suck at explaining stuff)

their horns are thinner to resemble moth anntenae, and they curve just because i thought it look cool, and to differentiate it a bit from fecto elfilis. their bangs tie into a bun (i forgot to draw that but i dont wanna go and change it now, way too tiredv man and i still have to post this on other places) the bun looks a bit like an eye, because well, they are basically a soul boss, and moths have things in their wings that look like eyes, btw chaos elfilis doesnt have their wings here because i got lazy and i didnt want them to like cover most of the drawing. the things coming from their bun are like the trhee things theyve got in their head, theyre shaped like that to resemble insects legs a bit, fecto elfilis also had the 3 things (i dunno how to call em sorry) as their eyelashes, but chaos elfilis has just white eyelashes, because the bun already has the 3 things and because my morpho has white eyelashes so (i still havent done my morpho gijinka yet, i just know im gonna give the butterfly some white eyelashes cuz cute and pretty grimm reaper) the rest of the hair is shaped into like a ponytail but like, adn shaped, with whats left shaped like a lil moth

the waistband they have is a nod to morpho, they used to have a bow shaped just like the butterfly morpho appears as, but i took it out because i thought it crowded the design way too much, and also because it was too on the nose. the arms have those golden things because my fecto has it and because my og chaos elfilis gijinka had them so i wanted to bring it back, the hand fades into white because the red in the hand wasnt hard to distinguish so i came up with that to make it easier to see.

the red part of the pants are actually a bit fuzzy akin to a moth and the white part has those stripes to loke like insect stuff because y'know akin to a moth. the boots are like the red part in their legs their model in-game has, so i just made em tall boots, the high heels? originally it was platform just ike my fecto but then i wanted to draw them in high heels when i was slightly redoing chaos elfilis, and welp, i loved it and now theyve got high heels. those rings around the ankle are inspired by the ones leaongar has around their arm. also can you tell anatomy is not my strong suit? and that i dont draw high heels often?

i made a slight change in my kirby, making the sleeves be a different color, since the one he had before i felt was way too white, and i wanted to have more saturation in it

i also forgot but elfilin is supposed to wear that during forgotten land, and then i decided that after the anding of the main story he changes clothes, but i forgot about that while doing this so he has his pre-ending clothes (also because i still cant really decide on their second outfit for the post-game)

god im so tired i wanna talk and show more drawings but o shit im sweating why is it so hot in here

um thank you for reading all the unnecessary long rambles about why i do certain stuff in my gijinkas, i appreciate it a lot (im still sorry about writing walls upon walls of text but i just cant help it)

Jambuhbye! :D

[montywithchildhoodtrauma]

Hazbin hotel Little headcannons

Its long!

Characters:

Lucifer, Alastor, Vox.

Lucifer:

(Man is really interesting to think about, I had fun with this one)

Age: 1-5

Preferred caregiver is Lilith.

Technically, he started regressing after he fell. Neither Lilith nor him knew what it was, so they just called it 'fuzzy head' as that was the only way Lucifer could ever explain it.

Not a lot of resources at the beginning of the world. 'Fuzzy head' time was often Lucifer curled up in Lilith's lap as they looked at the sky together.

Of course after a while, sitting wasn't really 'fun' so the two would often wander around their new world (Hell) together as Lucifer pointed out objects in the ground or weird trees.

Hes a very clingy baby and usually needs to be around someone.

Big feelings, he often has a hard time regulating himself and needs to be calmed down.

The way they figured out that Lucifer started 'Fuzzy head' for the first time was in a very... compromising situation. (ie: Just making out, nothing too crazy. I'm not a monster) Lucifer burst into tears because he didn't know what was going on and he didn't feel good. Lilith stopped, very confused. Neither of them knew what to do, well... Lilith didn't know what to do, Lucifer, was crying his little heart out and wasn't really explaining what was wrong.

Once hell started getting more populated, down time for them became harder and harder to find. ie, 'fuzzy head' was also harder to do. (Until they had a sort of system going on for them)

Have you ever shaken a soda bottle with the cap still on? That's kinda what it feels like to shove your little time down while busy. Imagine you keep shaking the bottle, you shake it and shake it until, BANG! The cap pops off and the soda erupts and gets all over the place. That my friends is what repression is! Guess who does that while busy! I'll give you one guess.

Meltdowns, lots of meltdowns.

He's the BESTEST helper in the whole wide world! (He does more damage than good, but don't tell him that.)

Cartoons don't really interest him, stories though, thats the good stuff. This frusterates Lilith when she needs to do something and Lucifer keeps saying "Jus one more tory, pease Lilif?"

When hes older he's a little more independent, but he still needs to be able to see someone he trusts. (ie, Lilith.

Talking about having a baby was... hard. At first Lilith was worried that Lucifer would regress while watching them and both of them might get hurt.

"I already have a child darling. Did you forget?" "I already have you sweetheart, and you cause me enough trouble as it is" (Meant lovingly)

When they did have Charlie Lilith watched the two like a hawk and hardly left the two alone together.

One morning however, was different. Lucifer had heard Charlie crying first and went to comfort her. A few hours later Lilith wakes up to find a half empty bed and the crib empty. After a half panicked search of the 'house' she found Charlie sat in front of the tv and a bunch of cardboard story books, while laying on Lucifer who was lying on the floor while coloring. (Something tells her she needs to Lucifer proof the house)

Loves playing big brother with other littles, even when hes clearly younger. Angel's 6? Well Lucifer's clearly 7(cough cough 4 cough cough, sorry something was stuck in my throat) Wait- Alastors 9!? LUCIFER'S 12-

Overall shorts, Lucifer loves him some overall shorts.

SOFT BIG SWEATERS! (Who else loves that tho?)

Arts and crafts!

Baby's a sweet tooth.

Duck plushy. Need I say more?

Hes a rather intelligent little and knows how to get what he wants from people.

Alastor:

Age: 4-10

Only really regresses if he knows that it's been too long. (other times he gets tricked into it, which takes an absurd amount of time)

Rosie is his preferred caregiver.

Don't touch him.

He doesn't get too small often.

It doesn't matter if hes older or younger, hes a big bully.

He was the last person to figure out that he regresses.

Tiny thief (CHAR CHAAAR! HE TOOK MY TOY!) (GIVE IT BACK!)

Fairly independent and doesn't really interact with the others.

He can be left alone in a room and you can expect him to still be there a few hours later.

Doesn't like being around any male adults. (The only person who can be around him is Husker, but that's mostly because... kitty)

Sensory toys are nice.

He will throw something at you if you offer to put something on the tv, don't you dare offer that filth to him.

He doesn't really like stuffies. unless someone (Lucifer/Vox) has a stuffie, then he HAS to have it.

Boy knows the timeout corner better than anyone. (he even wrote his name in it.... which got him another five minutes but lets not talk about that)

Black hole child. He's always hungry.

Random screams. Everything will be quiet, then all the sudden he drops what hes doing and starts screaming, then sits back down as if nothing happened.

Very particular about how the toys are put away.

Husker doesn't stick around when Alastor is little, the boy tends to tug on his fur.

THAT'S NOT HOW THE TOYS GO! Very particular

Why are all the dog plushies in the trash?

Doesn't like plastic sippy cups. Hes a big boy! He can handle a big kid cup!

He can't handle a big kid cup.

Puts on shows for his CG(s).

Vox:

Age: 0-4 (Sometimes teen space)

He was a regressor before he died.

Preferred Cg is Velvette & Val.

Sleepy boy.

Night light baby.

Glow in the dark stars.

Quiet play time.

RANDOM BURST OF CHAOTIC ENERGY!

Nap time.

Snack child, no meals juuust snacks.

He and Val could watch Sensory videos for hours if Velvette let them.

Paint! All over the walls! How nice!

Paint sticky, must throw a tantrum to get rid of paint.

NO DON'T WANNA BATH TO GET RID OF SAID PAINT HE JUST COMPLAINED ABOUT!

Hunting games! (definitely not gonna shoot every deer he spots)

Action figures!

Shocking himself! (its funny! It also doesn't hurt, just tickles)

Doesn't like plastic sippy cups. Hes a big boy! He can handle a big kid cup!

He can't handle a big kid cup. (Hmm where have we seen that before?)

Doesn't stay in time out.

HE WILL BLOW UP THAT STUPID CORNER IF HE HAS TO GO BACK IN IT AGAIN!

YOU'LL NEVER CATCH HIM ALIVE!

"Do you need to go to the bathroom?" "Noo!" (Said while doing a very obvious potty dance)

Padded Regressor.

He can do things all by himself!

Onesie all day long baby!

HE DOESN'T WANNA GO TO BED! HES GONNA STAY UP ALL NI-

Aaaand hes down.

.............

Part two?

@bootyyyyyyshakerrrr9000

[j2zara]

had to stop in the middle of what i was doing for work because i was just. gripped. but: re the anxious gf/bf who fucks her until she calms down. i think it'd be REALLY funny if j3's like kind of getting on ellie's nerves when she's already wrung out from research or maybe her and jaceporter had a Really Bad Spat so she's SO CRANKY

and j3 has noticed so he's like doing his usual whiny routine to try and distract her like "ellie c'mon aren't i more interesting than all that stupid work" and she eventually just snaps (she'll feel guilty when she's not fucked out and whining later) and is like.

"j3. if you aren't going to fuck me over this desk right now i need you to go into the other room before i hurt your feelings"

and i mean. of course j3 TRIPS trying to get his pants off.

GODDDDD sorry for letting this sit but my brain was just like stuck on this image trying to be normal about it . Also like y'all know i'm a sucker for when LJ3 is sweet w/ each other but i am thinking about Ellie getting a little mean with him and of course J3 is so into it. Is it time to pull out degradation? I think so. But he's like. So excited for it anyway you know he is.

ALSO like. Thanks to the convo with @jadeandquartzes too i was originally thinking this was when they were together but the added level of them being in their FWB is so good and funny. I just think that element of Ellie is like still in this mode where she's kinda mad at him and wary about like giving him another shot but also he is a good ride.... (and like obviously she wants more even if she's not ready to say it and J3 viewing himself is just a body the miscommunication is torment nexus doing its thing as always)

but like. She kinda releases her frustration but like goading him to take it out on here and be like. fjdklafjlk how do i... idk like antagonizing him like i thought you were good at this (which. in her head he totally IS but that's part of the game right). and like. c'mon J3 is that all you fucking got you're supposed to be fucking me until i can't walk tomorrow. and it ls like. something somethign torment nexus J3 maybe he has fucked up his chances with her but he can give her this, right? He'll take this. He's a good lay, he can at least do that for her, so the feeling of THAT, kinda being the underlying mode does make it kinda messy and rough and.

Meanwhile Ellie's being mean bc like yeah she's had a rough fucking day and its annoying that J3 is like. he really kinda IS a reprieve to her in a lot of ways or at least he used to be and now she's denying herself that AND there's a bunch of feelings she's trying not to think about so its like, yeah, she's gonna get a little mean so he can fuck her senseless so she doesn't think about anything else. maybe he does have something to prove to her but also he IS really into when Ellie gets kinda mean with him. (i don't know if they could get starbreaker Jace mean as in "well your cock has never made me mad at you" but like. maybe. i want it. i kinda want to see it).

I do think they're like. Physically incapable of ending things on an icky note tho (at least when they're banging. they've fought before and gone to bed angry or whatever). He does fuck her until she's speechless but also i do think he maybe quietly hears her gasp out like "you're so good to me" or something like that.....

[flojouno]

now i’m thinking about hair. i never had black friends growing up. didn’t have a black classmate until freshman of high school, then moved to a different school with no black students in sophomore year. hell i didn’t even have black online friends. now i have more black online friends (i don’t leave the house so black irls is tricky) and even THEN im not very close to them.

so my experience with my blackness has been centered by my family. my dads side is the worst cause my grandma hated black hair (given she grew up when our hair was called nappy and messy). she always complained when i wore it naturally. insulted me and constantly questioned when i’d get it “fixed”. my mom is from the islands so she appreciates it. she doesn’t understand how americans do their afros tho (she kinda just wets the hair and add oil and call it a day. no shaping or anything). i think my sister and cousin are the only ones who know how to take care of our hair! they both keep theirs really short.

i really like color and longer hair. i despise wearing wigs and weaves aren’t for me. it’s either dying my natural hair or braided extensions/other styles like locs or twists etc. i prolly do have more options but my mom does my hair.

it’s so fascinating to think about how other people get their hair done. friends always tell me about how they got their hair cut, dyed and fixed up in salons and barbers. it’s so fascinating and it’s like. a few hour process!! or less!! mine is like a whole weekend thing. never is a one day thing. never. cut the braids shorter, take the braids out, detangle then wash well, and prepare to braid. that alone takes most the day for me. plus my mom does it alone 9/10 of the time. she works on her feet all day so she needs more breaks, we don’t have good spots to have us both sitting while she does it, and taking out my own hair is awful and nearly impossible. do you know how tiring it is to fiddle with the top of your head for hours? that’s a whole workout right there! i can only do so much!

by the time my hair is washed and detangled again i’m exhausted. so is my mom. we usually continue it for the next day. preparing my hair and then braiding. i never learned to braid when i was younger so learning now isn’t ideal on my own head. but my mom and sister help which im so grateful for. i used to be so tender headed when i was little but my mom stopped yanking my hair as hard and now i can handle it better. a lot of my memories are sitting in the chair in front of my mom, me sleeping or on my laptop/listening to music on my phone, while my mom watches her shows. i have thick tight curls and my hair is getting longer each time i take out my braids (which is good since my hair had grown super slow my whole life. i blame all the relaxing and straightening). so getting each braid in is hell.

of course it’s also being braided with the fake hair. whatever color i wanted, and now im getting more creative with the styles! making bangs or putting beads or leaving the ends open or braiding all the way down with charms and stuff. it’s the best way i can do to express myself! it’s my hair! it takes time and effort and work to get my hair done. i’m stuck with it for a while so i better like how it ends! having my hair braided makes my life so much easier, especially since i’ve had depression since 10 years old. it’s been a struggle to take care of myself at all, so having the huge HUGE possibility of my hair getting knotted and matted and dirty was also right around the corner. braiding has been my savior.

not sure what this post is but i like talking about my hair :3 don’t get a lot of chances too. i never realized how much my hair means to me.

[yuukei-yikes]

hibiya and takane at the end of the novels let me talk for a second😐😐😐😐😐😭😭😭😭ok erm novel spoilers duh

takane and hibiya werent at the lab with clearing and the rest bc they couldn't rly help (takane is doing shit as ene but if they took her body itd just be something the dan has to carry and as for hibiya in my sick twisted mind hibiyas thing is not ONLY cuz he cant help bc his powers take too much energy but its also bc the dan is trying to act like responsible older siblings and deciding hibiyas too young to be put in danger...sobsob. like it means a lot that hes the only one to survive aside from seto and mary. it's also funny how seto and mary are having an ugly crying party and hibiyas there like 😐) its a good team cuz ene can report back to the dan everything hibiya is seeing with his powers and hibiya can report to takane too *goes insane* its such a funny duo takane tasked as the worlds awfulest babysitter. you know in cartoons when the babysitter just ignores the kids and talks on the phone. hibiya and takane being teamed up together is literally that. except she goes inside the phone and all their friends are dying but thats a detail.

(also it hurts so much too bc of the whole haruka&konoha thing. the 2 characters most closely related to haruka and konoha being stuck together *my descend into madness is complete*)

i think their chapter together was interesting it made me poke my eyes out bc hibiya has to tell takane shintaro is dead and he's like OUGH...I DONT WANNA BE THE ONE TO TELL HER HER BEST FRIEND IS DEAD.. and then takane has a "weird" reaction, like basically doesnt break into tears or anything. and i know its because she had apparently discussed the possibility with shintaro previously (id kill to have read that convo. normal shintaka convo post reveal *shakes fist*) but the way she kind of tries to comfort hibiya in her own weird way and the whole thing being hibiyas pov its so clear she's trying to keep it together in front of him bc he's just a kid. and not only that but she says he reminds her of SHINTARO so she's like. ough ofc she acts like that. just by how she was as ene to shintaro she is being to hibiya rn to make him feel better. she knows she will die when she says goodbye to him after that as ene. IM GONNA PUKE

(she's... like so mature in her own stupid way. it rly hurts when in the following chapter when she's like on her way to die/just died she thinks abt how helpless she was and how she couldnt do anything even though she had just comforted hibiya and sacrificed herself for seto and marys sake. *bangs head against wall* TAKANEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!)

anyways i had all those thoughts bc i was like so since in novel route takane dies as ene... is her physical body also swallowed by the daze?? or is it just her soul, and when she's in the daze later its a haruka situation and both of them only have their consciousness kinda walking around as opposed to everyone else who is there with physical bodies? if that happened then hibiya would just be left on the roof of a random building with a corpse.

either way F for hibiya bc its either he's alone with a corpse or he gets jumpscared by another dimension opening and eating up the body. i do think her body gets swallowed tho and she just looks like ene in the daze cuz thats what she looks like in her mind (she's only been back in her physical body for like a day before this so lol)

either way. hc time but like. i just imagine hibiya realising takane isnt Really sleeping anymore and she Really wont wake up and Wow she doesnt have a pulse and even if he doesn't know her well, he is a kid and she is the adult that was keeping him company. so he kind of loses his mind. i feel so bad for him, what happened to him after takane leaves him??? bc we dont see him again til the end.

like even if he was technically already alone on the roof cuz takane was away as ene anyway, he knew she'd come back. but now shes NOT WAKING UP. he's looking at all this happen, all the people he's met in the last 2 days are dying one by one, the hope to find hiyori seems more and more ridiculous as the hours go on, konoha has been taken over by something Bad and is doing Bad things to people, he doesnt know if momo will be safe, its the middle of the night and he's in a city he doesnt know and the person, the adult, THE FRIEND supposed to be with him is NOT WAKING UP!!! i just imagine this little guy sobbing on takanes body begging her to wake up because he doesnt know how to get back to the hideout from here!! he doesnt know where he is!!! hey!! wakeup!! dont leave me by myself what am i supposed to do!!! and screaming when the daze swallows the body and hes just left alone for real. lol. anyways hows everyone doing

[risu5waffles]

Another 10days gone already? Alright then.

Seriously, time is kinda a jerk. Still, got another ten for a wrap up.

i hate to say a level is just, kinda, there; but this one is just kinda there. It's not not fun, and it does have its charm, but... at the same time, it kind of blends in wiv a lot of similar in theme levels. i did appreciate the credits at the end, it's always nice to see shout outs to creators that've helped out. You know... i wonder now if some of these "just there levels" are really more to give a chance to have fun wiv friends in LBP. i wonder what that was like.

i think this might be, hands down, my favourite all-around level i've played in all of LBP. Just 10 outta 10, no notes, the whole she-bang.

i need to come back to this one, 'cause i'm pretty sure Mellan updated it wiv a bit more polish on player communication, and on the main gimmick. Even in the form we have here, tho', it's a pretty solid level. Mellan's a good kid, and i'm glad to have met him. i think i can say that about most all the folx who've stuck around wiv the channel for a while. i have been exceedingly lucky in that department.

This one's a much different take on kokeshi than the previous one, but i think it mostly manages to pull things off. i can't say it's scary (that's a real hard thing to accomplish in LBP), but it is effective. The boss fight at the end is really quite neat, too. Took me forever to get the timing right on my first playthrough. i think the one we have here was my third?

i think i might actually like school a little more than carp at the end of the day. They're both masterpieces, and carp is an object lesson in level design, but this one is just so charming. The only thing i didn't quite like about it was the use of the cushion as a main building material, the corners of it always feel a little to puffy when it's used in larger constructions, but that's very much a me issue. There's one more secret area here that i wasn't able to find no matter how much i poked around, and you have no idea how much that irritates me from an archival standpoint.

i don't run into a lot of these expansive "just explore around" kind of levels it feels like. They're... honestly a bit of a mixed bag for me? i do like that there's just a lot of stuff all over, and some of the set pieces in this one were pretty cute. It's kind of cool that you could go through the level and just miss stuff if you bee-line for the exit, and that's interesting from a level design/player experience perspective. At the same time? i kind of like a little more of a throughline in level design. i want to know what i'm meant to be doing, and then i feel more comfortable going against the grain of that. i think that's part of the reason why sand-box/open-world style games don't super appeal to me. That and so much of the side-content winds up feeling like "well, i did that because it was available to do, but why?"

i really, really like this one. It clicks for me so well as the introduction to a larger whole (which we may or may not ever see. i don't know if the creator has any interest in continuing to build on the concept). This one really manages to nail that Gardens feel, while still feeling like its own thing. Also, that princess is kinda goals? Like, my self-image doesn't lean heavy towards the feminine, but even still, there was a voice in the back of my head that was, like, "oooh, but... gender?"

We talked about this not so far back, so all i'll add is the first time i played a level that had that "play chomping sfx when food item is grabbed" i thought it was kinda cool and/or neato. After a dozen times, tho', it started to get to me like the Wilhelm Scream does for film nerds.

The precursor to the level we looked at on Friday, and it's clear what a step up Aaron took between the two projects. Which sounds like i'm saying this one isn't good, and i'm very much not. This is, itself, a very impressive, and impressively presented piece of kit; and worth the 30minute playtime if you have it. i do feel like it leans more heavily on exposition to its detriment, tho'. You've got short bursts of "ok, i can do something now" between much longer cutscene sections. It doesn't help that the sfx Aaron chose for your legally-distinct Navi can get to be a bit grating after awhile.

This one's the real deal. The LeChonk. The.... umm... <checks notes> big chungus amung us? Scratch that. Don't like that. Will never say it again. i got to talk a bit wiv Aaron via 'Tube comments, and they're really quite nice. i had very much of the stress that i would be able to convey how i felt in a way that was honest. They did confirm that the level runs smooth wiv no issues on PS5, so if you've got one of those, maybe give this one a shot. If you don't, i still recommend it; but if you're worried about the level breaking, well, you do gots the video here for you (hint, hint, hint, hiiiiiiiiiiiiiint).

[tommyssupercoolblog]

Comicpalooza update& Headed out a LOT of business cards and now we're exhausted. Asked Seán if he liked anything at the stalls but so far only one booth caught his eye- I grabbed her card for him tho. And other than that I got SO MANY ARTIST CARDS!! Excited to look though them and like, bookmark websites and buy smthn once I have more money. We have a little bit right now but there's so much cool stuff out there and so little cash flow for us that it's gonna be a while until we get to most of them. There's so many awesome artists here!! The library upstairs was super cute too.

Our day was.... honestly I wish I could say it was awesome and poggers and parts of it were!! But we also had some bad experiences today too, and honestly all but one of them would easily be outweighed by the good, but the FIRST bad thing was the worst and kind of set the tone for our day.

If any of you ever go to comicpalooza or the venue it's in, here's a tip- NEVER. USE. THE STAIRS. other than the elevators and escalators, there is no transportation, because while they built stairs, THERE IS NO EXIT TO THE STAIRWELL.

It's one way.

If you open the door to go down the stairs, and that door shuts behind you, there's no handle to get out and pushing the doors won't do anything, and it's the same all the way down.

I'll explain my experience under the cut but I wanted to put the warning first. DON'T. USE. THE STAIRS.

We spent the first 20 minutes trapped in a stairwell with no clue when (or if) we'd get out. I started crying and screaming for help and banging on the doors and no one heard us even though we could see them through the crack. Seán tried to calm me down and suggested we see if, if we went all the way down, there WOULD be an exit, but the only door down there we could access was storage so I assume either there's no exit at all unless they open the doors (which they supposedly do in a fire/emergency) or you have to go through storage to get it, and with no employee guide I wasn't going to wander through boxes.

So then I started hyperventilating again and crying and everything and Seán again was like "hey let's be rational" and asked me if I could try calling mom and seeing if it worked. So I did, and she said she'd TRY to find us by following our description of how we got stuck in there.

So then I went back to the door we came in from....and quickly lost my calm again and started yelling through the crack again, I got handprints and tears all over it and body slammed into it one time but Seán was like "STOP you're going to hurt yourself" so then we just kinda stood there, and Seán was still scared just being normal about it so I just kind of joined him in silent anxiety and we just stood there scared??? Mom called us, again, and stayed on the phone until she found us, but by then we were physically shaking and crying all over again from relief and tired-ness and she walked us to our first panel to make sure we were like. Okay.

Apparently there was also a security number we could call for help that's on the back of the doors but it was just "security - number" so we didn't know that was what it was for ;-; at least our mom was there and helped.

So....like....as fun as most of the panels were that was terrifying??!!!! And it also made anything else bad that happened feel a lot worse.

So I am VERY tired.

The air-instument band we saw was awesome and Seán liked the writing panel we went to (also the first panel we went to) and werewolf was also very poggers!! But I still got trapped in a stairwell. So like??

Hey at least I was still able to laugh and smile and have fun at other points in the day!! It's just now that I'm back in the hotel room all I can think about is how scary it was in the stairs....

I hope this wasn't like an actual new trauma. If it is and I have to unpack it in therapy later or we form a new alter I might just like curl up into a little ball. Like I DO feel scared of the stairwells and get anxious when I see them now but will that wear off??? I hope so????

Blowing up whoever decided one-way no exit stairwells were a good idea.

Also I piloted the body almost all of today besides during Seán's panel specifically. I wonder if that'll keep happening..I hope so, since I like people! I wouldn't want him to be overwhelm with the space and become scared and afraid

[klitzkun]

ONE OF THE BOYS | Klitz x Reader

Your crush on Klitz has never gotten in the way of one another’s affairs, that is until a very pivotal moment, The Prom.

All characters are 18 and plus

Word Count: 10,261

Warnings: MINORS DNI, Swearing, Sexual Content, You being slightly insecure, Major Angst, Klitz and You both having a shitty day (you both bitches fr. It’s ok tho, I love y’all), fluff at the end, AFAB reader

A.N: Not 100% accurate to the movie but follows plot pretty closely. I mostly wanted to make a fanfic that focuses(I didn’t focus on it a lot a lot tho) on the kinda weird dynamic with the porn stars being adults and the group barely being 18. No hate to the movie though, one of my favorites. Just thought “I’ve never seen one focus on it(if there is one, I’m sorry I didn’t see it!) so might as well make one haha”. Anyways, I posted this on my phone so my apologies if it’s a little wonky! I don’t have a laptop rn. I’ve also never published any of my fanfic’s on here before, be nice please. I hope you enjoy! :3

WESTPORT HIGH

“Dude c’mon! You know she’d give you some banging head if you just asked” The perv suggested; Eli: who never knows when to stop and has definitely tried to get in your pants a couple too many times.

“She’s not like that, she’s different” He ran his fingers through his hair anxiously; Matthew: the goody two-shoes, a little too good for your liking.

The tall one sat awkwardly as the two exchanged bicker, and you… you were definitely paying more attention to how his shaggy hair fell on his head perfectly than the fighters.

You laughed, “Awe see, the wedding is definitely still on” evoking a laugh from him; Timothy Klitz, your best friend and your crush since freshman year; having him choke on his drink.

“Guys, I love pussy too much,” Eli affirmed breaking an over-confident smile, causing eye rolls from the entire table. “Obviously it doesn’t love you, virgin” You bit back, Matthew and Klitz’s eyes widening as Eli scoffed, “I’m just too high on demand from all these ladies to choose just one”

“Yeah right, one hasn’t even chosen you” You stood up, “Anyways this lunch is shit, sonic?” All three voiced in agreement.

⋆

SONIC

Everyone gathered in the ford’s bed enjoying their collective food. “Everyone has a date to the prom, right?”

The question settled before any gave an answer, starting with Klitz, “…No” causing heads to turn, in confusion.

“What about Ada and you?” Matthew questioned, You guys barely knew Ada but they seemed to get along. “Yeah I heard that the nerds are always the freakiest” Eli chimed in. ”ELI” Matthew and you scolded. Eli mockingly mouthing the scold, causing a smack to his arm. “Yeah, Xander and her banged in the band room, made up apparently” Klitz recalled.

“I told you nerds are f-“ ���BROOKS” “Ok ok” Eli surrenders his fight, putting his hands up as if to support his claim.

“I really wasn’t into her anyways,” Klitz admits,you'd think it’d make you feel better but nope worse actually, not only would he have gone with someone he didn’t like but now he has no date. “How come?” Surely that isn’t too invasive, but as the silence is filled with wrappers you can tell it probably is. Looking down at your phone you see the time 12:45, time to get back.

⋆

Your wine red dress stuck perfectly onto your form, your back only being covered by the tied strings left you feeling chilly, your elbow length black gloves definitely not giving any warmth. You wish Klitz was there complimenting you ”You look so pretty babe, I’m so lucky to have you” but at last, he only views you as one of the boys, definitely not a consideration. You threw your chunky black heels on and stepped outside, a limo surprising you, the years before you all would cramp up in whoever was driving’s car and be on your bumpy and scary but very merry way.

⋆

WESTPORT HIGH

The plan is simple enough, distract the principale, sneak into the library, film the Sex Ed flim and get the fuck out but it could never be that easy, right? As you all walk to the hallway door, jocks stop you all, ganging up immediately. You sigh as Matthew speaks to them, words of “c’mon” and “I have a proposal for you” sparks their interest and they follow along with you all.

Walking through the hallway is quiet, boring enough for you to sneak a look at Klitz holding the arms with April, her blond locks falling down her shoulders beautifully, you can’t help but feel weird about it. You weren’t super keen on the entire plan from the start, but especially weren’t keen on Klitz having a porn star date dropped onto you in the limo. Danielle had offered to get someone for you when she saw your reaction to Klitz, but you declined.

You couldn’t even bag a guy your age, you’d rather not deal with one older. Your stomach churned with the thought of Klitz possibly going home with her tonight, your overwhelming thoughts were cut off by Matthew telling Klitz “Keep watch” and you to help with lighting.

⋆

You checked lighting, watching Matthew explain the plan to the jocks, “You guys are gonna help demonstrate with them,ok?” they were scared shitless, which was a sight to see but you couldn’t even enjoy it with your heart turning every 5 seconds.

⋆

Well that plan didn’t work, they finished almost immediately, Eli called break and you all huddled together, “Well I can’t do it, I’m producer” Eli pointed out, “I literally have a vagina” You joked. “I’ll do it,” Klitz said.

⋆

After some preparation, Klitz was now sat next to April who was in a more revealing outfit. You stood by Eli as he looked through the camera, you were flaunting a supportive smile even though you felt like melting into the floor. “I know this isn’t professional but I think you’re really cute” April confessed, “I mean it, you’re really cute.” You forced that smile to stay as she ran her hand on his thigh or otherwise your feelings would definitely be exposed.

⋆

The stars had one last thing to do and that was the final course you could say, the vaginal penetration. You could sit through every other thing, but this you knew wasn’t going to go well for you. “And now we will demonstrate how to properly penetrate the vagina!” Ferrari exclaimed, Klitz sat with a mesh mask on, making his identity unknown.

You played with your fingers to ease the anxiety you were feeling, Matthew stood by you, “You okay?” He whispered, “Yeah, isn’t this kinda weird though” you asked. He nodded before continuing to watch the show.

Klitz pulled off his robe exposing his “Penis and scrotum!”.

⋆

You just saw Timothy fucking Klitz inside of a pornstar, you couldn’t move, for some reason didn’t leave before you knew the unthinkable was gonna happen. Your head ran with so many thoughts but the top one was you need to speak to your best friend.

⋆

You pulled Klitz into the computer room, his soft expression being illuminated by the resting computers. “What is it?” He questioned, you could tell he was taking your troubled expression in, “I- well, I think this is all fucking weird” You sat down, “Is it me?” His voice is as soft as his features.

“What do you mean?” Shit, he’s clueless. “Yes but no'' you couldn’t bear to tell Klitz all of what you were feeling, the jealousy, concern, disgust, and you know…how you just saw your best friend’s first time inside some porn star, and not you.

“It’s weird seeing you, with her like I wouldn’t expect you to do that” The silence grew loud, you swore you could hear your own heart beat. “It must be weird seeing someone like that attracted to me” Like that? What does that me- “Klitz n-“ His voice silencing yours, “No I get it, I’m just the one no one thinks anyone could be attracted to” his hand reaching for the door.

“That’s not what I meant Klitz” you explain, “Jealous?” excuse me? All of the concern and hurt went to anger.

“You know what” you spat out, staring up at Klitz, his smirk still frozen on his face.“What?” he mocked, it growing ever so slightly, you couldn’t help but notice how his robe fell off his shoulders and the light made his sweat glisten on his collarbones.

“Fuck you Timothy and fuck this!” His mouth opened as if he wanted to speak but before he could, “Hey, we gotta get back to filming man” Matthew creeped his head into the room, eyeing you down concerned “You okay?” You ignored his question and sped out, barely getting out of the library before tears started dropping.

⋆

You sat down on the steps, your vision foggy. You had liked Klitz all of these years but thought it wasn’t that bad, didn’t think it could cause an argument like this. A few students walked by you, eyeing you down as they stepped past. You probably just looked like another miserable student that got dumped for someone hotter and better. You leaned your head into your knees, letting all your emotions out.

⋆

“Man, that wasn’t cool of you” Matthew confronted, even Eli didn’t have anything to say but “You gotta apologize, chicks dig that” Klitz took a deep breath in before opening the door and sitting down next to you, the two walked pass and mouthed, “Apologize” before getting in the limo. Mouthing “Just text” as they closed the doors, driving off.

“Hey” Klitz said softly, “I’m sorry” You savored the safety of your bent over position before sitting up and wiping your eyes. You couldn’t get yourself to look at him just yet so you opted for the moon. He continued, “I shouldn’t have been such a dick, It must’ve been really uncomfortable for you” You stayed silent ”And I-I don’t want you to think that I don’t care”

He shifted a little before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, “I do, it was just, I banged a pornstar in front of my crush.” Crush? You finally moved your head to face him. His black tuxedo was a little baggy on him, and his hair was even more shaggy than before, his angled nose was pointed at the ground as he stared down. Now that you were looking at him, you couldn’t tell why you’d ever be mad at him.

All he ever did was make you happy, and laugh so hard you couldn’t breath, “I’m sorry too Klitzy” You could see a slight smile from him, “But I’m your crush?” You asked, you never thought he’d ever like you like that. He let out a small laugh, “Yeah dude, since we first met each other in freshman. Why do you think I got my corsage as your favorite color?”

You’d been so fueled by jealousy and anger you didn’t even notice it, “Oh my god, You didn’t”. “I did, here”. He pulled out another one ”Can I?” You let your arm out to him as he puts it on. You took a second to stare at it, “It’s beautiful” “Just like you” He said, gaining the biggest smile from you, you leaned your head against his shoulder.

“I love being best friends but let’s try being more” You suggested, now it was his turn to give a big smile “I’d love to.”

P.s: I hope you enjoyed! I never write fanfic to publish so that’s why it’s not as good as some others on here but netherless if you guys have an prompts you want written, I can definitely try my best to make them entertaining for you guys! ^~^

[kenmasangel]

getting back together after years

synopsis : the get back, part 1 “why am i even with you”

characters : sakusa, tsukishima

genre : fluff

warning : cursing, mention of alcohol

an : sorry for any gramma or spelling mistakes, everytime i’d right it was nighttime and i’d be really tired so i wasn’t able to focus 100%. please notice me of any mistakes masterlist

Sakusa Kiyoomi

years have passed since your break up with sakusa, it was a sad but necessary break up for you to move on and finally glow up

you also realized that the only person you truly ever needed was yourself and you worked hard to be the person you are today

“at the end of the day, men are trash,” you would try to cheer your friend who had a fight with her boyfriend in one of the best clubs of tokyo. “so wipe your tears and come move your hips,”

on the professional side you became tokyo's favorite journalist, sports related; not only because of your looks but also your professionalism and personality

every hot athlete you've ever interviewed tried to get with you, but they always got rejected

on the other hand sakusa joined MSBY Black Jackals; a professional volleyball team in japan's v.league, in the top tier of division 1

yes sir period

he never dated someone else, the break up kinda broke his heart but he'll never admit it

he also became more distant with people lowkey

however, one day your manager called you to tell you about who are you going to interview next

as she mentionned the name of a famous volleyball team you couldn’t stop your mind of thinking about your ex who used to play volleyball

little did you know that he was a part of the team

lmao who gon tell you

when you got back home you decided to do some research about that MSBY team or whatever

...

oh to your surprise when you saw sakusa kiyoomi’s face there

“no shit,” you mumbled to yourself lowkey annoyed

after the brake up you grew stronger and more independent as you put in mind that all men are trash, you didn’t want to go through that steretipycal sad phase where your self confidence would be all crushed. you wanted to remain strong and you learned how to truly love yourself without expecting anything from anyone as you had your own self

period boo

anyway, you kinda had numbed all your feelings, and to see him now made all your memories with him comeback; how you first met, your first kiss, your first dates and that fight

so here you were, in your appartement checking out their previous interviews trying to get all the juice you needed yet your mind would still zone out on his face

“just keep it pro, y/n, he probably even forgot about you, just keep it pro,” you told yourself before turning off your pc

the day of the interview, here we finally are. the MSBY team knew they had an interview with the most appreciated journalist of all times so they got ready.

“do y’all think they’re cute ?” asks atsumu, “if they’re cute you better back off guys, i’m sure i’m going to catch their attention anyway,” he cockily adds flipping his bang and flexing his muscles, no one bothered answering him at this point they were used to him

“they’re here,” their manager clapped in his hands. “don’t forget what i told you guys, they are very influent so don’t mess it up and don’t scare them away,” he looked at atsumu and bokuto who just stuck their tongues out

“good morning,” you greeted all of them and bowed, “i’m l/n y/n, the journalist who’ll interview you today,” you looked at all of them with a poker face. saying that sakusa was surprised would be an understatement; he was in shock, his brain forgot how to function correctly. you followed the others who took you to the room where all the staff would chill, offering you coffee, tea and snacks

sakusa couldn’t keep his eyes off you, seeing you after all these years was like a wave of fresh air; he was relieved to see you successful and blooming, what a beautiful sight he thought when he saw you laughing with his teammates as he got in the room. but at the same time his heart ached him as he remembred what made you two go separate ways and the guilt he tried to hide deep inside him all those years started creeping up again in his chest

“c’mon, it’s just an interview,” he sighed before sitting on a chair behind his team

the interview started and it was going fine, sakusa’s teammates were cool and you had a lot of fun interviewing them. you liked their chaotic energy and it happened for you to match it, they immediately liked you

“y/n-chan,” started atsumu getting close to you, ”would you like to go out with me tonight, we could have dinner together or just grab a drink-”

“okay barry b. benson, you’re not my type sorry,” you stopped him as you pinched his cheek making all his teammates laugh, you got a pout from him but he eventually laughed liking your attitude

“y/n-chan, why don’t you come and have dinner with us tonight?” asked bokuto with sparkles in his eyes, “oooh~ say please we’d love to!” joined him hinata with the same sparkles in his eyes

you akwardly chuckle looking at sakusa then bringing your stare back at them, “i don’t kno-”, “please come, it would be nice,” finally adds sakusa what made you look back at him

you kept staring at each other for  moment before you nodded makinf the three balls of chaotic energy; bokuto, hinata and atsumu scream a ‘yes!’ you exchanged numbers and you went back home

well, that wasn’t too bad you thought to yourself once back at you appartement plopping on your couch

for some reason your heart was beating fast and you damned those feelings you tried to hide and not get rid of for coming back

he was looking as handsome as ever, you were not going to lie

and that look in his eyes... was it regret ?

“as he fucking should,” you shook your head thinking about what he’d said in that fight

but you were young, he probably regrets, “stfu stupid heart,”

you got up and got ready for tonight’s dinner

“keep that poker face y/n, you’re doing great” you said to yourself before getting into the restaurant, you quickly saw hands waving at you, spotting the team and you went to the table. there was a place left next to bokuto and sakusa, just great, you tried hard not to roll your eyes and sat

the diner was going well, you were not bothered by sakusa’s presence, he didn’t talk much anyway and you had fun talking to the others who were really funny, the thing is that everyone got drunk; hinata and bokuto were hugging each other singing the yarichin bitch anthem, atsumu kept saying ‘ya like jazz?’ every time the someone would pass by, you and sakusa were the only ones in a good state. you couldn’t help but laugh at them trying to stop them but you’d eventually fail

“atsumu please stop,” you tried to stop him from getting on the table to ask everyone if they liked jazz, “i won’t unless you tell me ya like jazz, honey,” he wiggled his eyebrows as you couldn’t help yourself from laughing, “i do like jazz now sit down,” you finally said

sakusa kept thinking if he should talk to you or not in the mean time, he couldn’t help but to create two imaginary cases in his mind one for that says ‘yes’ and the other one ‘no’, he finally came back to earth when you sat back down after stopping tsumu from performing a jazz song

“but y/n i swear it’s a good jazz song, it is called... Jailhouse Rock by Elvis Presley,” he grins proud of himself, you stare at him trying to hold your laughter and when you were going to anwser you heared sakusa do it first, “no miya, and make the owl and the tangerine stop crying,” atsumu salutes him and goes to talk to the crying duo

“long time no see, l/n,” he finally says making your heart miss a beat

“never thought i’d see you again sakusa,” you answer, finally looking at him

“glad to see you’re doing well,” he adds. “even tho i wish we’d be on good terms,” you sigh turning your head. “gotta admit i am the one to blame,”

“glad to see you are mature enough to admit your wrongs,” you anwser him sipping on your drink

“i’ve always knew that i was the one who fucked up, y/n... maybe back then i just didn’t have the guts to admit it, nor to try keeping you close to me. i just saw how you were doing better off without me, and i thought it was better to let go even if it did hurt me...” he finally admits

all what you wanted to hear, craved to hear when you broke up with him. you felt some type of way, good memories you had with him flooding your mind and the feelings you’ve once had for the pretty germaphobe

what were you gonna say? were you finally ready to forgive him and move on or stay on your positions and just live like you’ve been living since the brake up

“well... we’re grown ups now, it’s all forgiven and forgotten,” you give him a small smile,

“thank you,” it was then quiet for a brief moment before he finally decided to man up, “i missed you,” he looked down at his plate

wow the butterflies in your tummy, heart and brain went off with no warnings, you stared at him with wide eyes trying to comprehend what on god’s green earth did he just say

did you miss him too ? did you hate him ? were you over the fight ? did you really stop loving him or did you just hide those feelings ?

too many questions yet no answers, as he realized you didn’t answer he mumbled few apologies but you stopped him telling it was fine

“it’s just... it’s been so many years and we didn’t end up on good terms,” you explain

“yeah, no, i totally understand that is normal,” you nodd looking down at your lap. “can i hold your hand?”

“pardon me?”

“can i hold your hand? fuck that y/n, can i have another chance? allow treat you right, to love you deeply. that guilt that built up in me kept growing with the years, and now that you’re finally here i just want one thing as i see your face is to make up for everything, even after years.”

oh wow, you were definitely not expecting that; not from sakusa who wasn’t this expressive with his feelings and especially not after all these years

you held his hand and smiled sincerly at him, “it’ll take me time; to figure out how i feel and to trust you again, but i’d like to give it a chance,” he smiled back, hope filling his eyes

after that night you tried to spend a lot of time together

usually he would be the one to initiate it

he did his best to prove you that you can trust him and that he became a better person for you

your heart would melt everytime he told you about a memory of you together or how he still remembered stuff about you

you were on your guards in the beginning but slowly you began to soften

eventually you got back together, but that’s another story

it took several months but you don’t even know how happy he was

oh and let’s just not talk about the media and how powerful you guys were

anyway you were happy and that’s what matters

Tsukishima Kei

ara ara what we have here

do you know how the life works in a weird way sometimes? a compilation of events that happen by sheer luck, fucking coincidences that are just way out of this world that lead you to bump into that one person even if you don’t want to?

no ? aight sorry

anyway, that is lowkey what life had in store for you and salt shaker man

tsukishima had gotten into that college he wanted to attend

he was happy but he would’ve secretely loved if you were there to share his happiness

oh how little did he know that you got into that college too

ahaha *awkward laughter*

homeboy found it out in a special way, not the best way there is but you know he had to know a way or another

he went to that party with his two roomates who actually lowkey forced him ngl

as he was making his way to the kitchen he heard someone laughing, a laugh he’s heard way too many times but he shook it off thinking about how many people may have the same laughter

“oi y/n, you look hot!” a male’s voice shouted

what ?

there was no way you were there and he decided to make sure by checking out by himself

he was CHOKED when he saw you there

“tell me something i don’t know,” you laughed as you approached the boy who called you. “what’s up hot stuff ?” he said as you were finally next to him

hot stuff? tsukki almost gagged at the horrible name you were just given, yet it was not false that you were indeed ‘hot’; you looked as flawless as ever, you did a 180° change

the sweet, soft, innocent y/n was replaced by the baddest bitch in the motherfucking block he almost didn’t recognize you. he wondered if you stayed together would you have gone through this change an didn’t notice you coming his way

“god, don’t stand in the middle of the- tsukishima ?” you stopped when you saw his face. “you attending a party, what a surprise,” you stood there a hand on your hip

“oh y/n, how are you?” homeboy didn’t know how to act at this point, he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck

“i’m doing great actually, so did you get into here ? the ‘college of your dreams’,” he could feel the sarcasm in your voice, he also noticed how cold you were

“yeah, thankfully. where’d you go ?”

“oh i go here, the same college as you,” you fake a smile, he feels his heart miss a beat.. or two.“you know sometimes i look back, and i can’t help from noticing that being in a committed relationship didn’t stop me from attending one of the best colleges out there and you, on the other hand who didn’t want anything to do with a relationship got here too,” you spat, obviously you didn’t get to tell him how you felt when you broke up. “good thing i’m not in the same major as you though,” you sighed

“y/n i_,”

“no save it tsukishima, there’s no need to say whatever you want to say. at this point i’ve moved on, i just found it funny to see you here after what you’ve said and how i actually also got here; now i know for sure that you were the problem... and i hated myself thinking it was me,” you scoff. “hope i won’t get to see you often, good luck for the rest,” and with that you left, joining a group of friends who waved for you to join them

needless to mention that he was pissed and heartbroken

he was not expecting that from you, he always saw you as this delicate person whose kindness is infinite

now, oh now he didn’t recognize you

even your voice got more.. mature? cold? idk

anyway after your encounter he directly headed back to his dorm

he couldn’t sleep the whole night rethinking about all what those years with you and what you said, you hated yourself as you thought you were the problem

bravo tsukishima they hate you, he thought to himself

uhm lol so the rest of your college ‘journey’ went without the two of you seeing each other

you were both majoring in different stuff, the campus is huge, y’alls schedules didn’t match and you had different friend groups

yet rarely he would find you at the library at 4am, many empty coffee cans on your table, looking all sleepy with your glasses falling off and your hair in a messy bun

“fucking ass why on god’s poluted earth did i ever want to major in that fucking shit of a topic, couldn’t i do something basic like stripper or something ? ugh fml,” he caught you once in the middle of an existencial crisis

he couldn’t help his lips from twitching upwards and he couldn’t stop the memories of the two of you studying together flooding his mind

he never came close to you tho, especially after what you told him in that party

sad </3

you guys graduated from college fucking finally

congrats folks you did it!

and you thought it was the end of your story

how sweet, how naive

uh-uh baby life decided otherwise and you saw each other years later

in the same company 🤪 

“oi tsukishima-san, don’t forget we have a metting with the new manager in 10,”

how could he forget ? everyone has been talking about this manager for a week

tsukki was respected by all his work mates as he was such a good element what made him get the best promotions and claims from his boss

n e way

he got into the conf room where everyone was seated and took his place waiting for the new manager and the boss to come in, he was clearly annoyed and didn’t want to be there; he just wanted to finish his work on go back home

anyway his attention was brought back by his boss entering the room, “good evening everyone, with no longer introduction let me introduce you to y/l/n y/n your new manager,”

tsukki’s head SNAPPED, he almost broke his neck

tsukiskima.exe has stopped working

you were surprised when your eyes landed on him too but you’re a bad bitch and kept it professional

he couldn’t focus for the rest of the meeting, even tho it was just presentations and basic information for the future collaboration

the meeting ended and everyone went back home, except for you as you stayed in late to work on some stuff

you thought you were alone since it was late, but you were wrong since tsukishima had also stayed in late to finish up whatever file he was asked to analize

this is why you were startled when you heard some noise and a tall figure got out of the office ahead of you

“oh my,” you held your chest and relaxed when you noticed it was tsukishima, “i thought i was alone,”

“staying in late on your first day huh, didn’t know you were still here,” he responded, you noticed how his tone didn’t change from when you first met him in highschool, maybe his voice got a bit more deeper tho

you couldn’t help noticing how good he looked in his suit, it fit him really well. his broad shoulders covered by the dark blue vest, the first few buttons of his white vector shirt opened letting you lowkey see his collarbone

“yea well i’m leaving now, good night,” you quickly say and took your leave, seeing him after all this time was weird and you didn’t know how to feel

you still remember what you said the last time you saw him at that party, you were hurt and you said some things you probably regret by now and you thought that he probably hated your guts and as long as you wanted to be at the top in your  new work you still decided to stay away from him

“ugh what a dumbass,” you whined and slapped the back of your head thinking tsukishima was still in the floor you left him in, but he saw you and his lips twitched upwards

everytime he thinks you can’t look any better you prove him wrong, he thought to himself as he went to his car finally heading back home. after all those years life decided to still play with you guys and put you in the same company, i mean, he wasn’t complaining but he wished it wasn’t awkward between the two of you

you guys started working together, a new journey for the both of you started

he thought you still hated him and that is why he was cold with you :(

so you were both distant with each other and if you ever had to talk it was cold, formal and quick

it’s been a few weeks your collegues had noticed the tension between the two of you

they were lowkey sus of something but didn’t want to butt in

it was physically painful to watch

n e way everything was going more or less smoothly until a new face made an appariction in the company

“my god! what are you doing here?” you hugged the good looking man

“i missed you and i thought that i couldn’t live without you, so i am here to cling,” you pull away and playfully slap his chest. “nah more seriously i am here to get that bag boo,”

“as you should hun, so you’re a trainee huh? i’ll ask them to put you under my supervision,” you wink

“say less,” he flirtily gets close to you

“uhm, sorry to interrupt your i bet very educational discussion but y/l/n, here, the file,” tsukishima butts in out of nowhere, his voice colder than usual and his eyes lowkey darker than usual

“oh thank you,” and he left

“well, that was awkward,” your friend cringes

“shut up, yuuji,” you roll your eyes

“wait wasn’t that tsukishami? sushikima? suspicual tall bitch who broke your heart?” the last attempt made you chuckle

“yes, it is,” you sigh, going through the file. “i can’t believe you still remeber that!”

“miss girl, you were not the one listening at your own self sobbing at how some tall, blonde, salt shaker broke your heart and how you’d want to, and i quote “punch his beautiful face then hug him so tight that i’ll squeeze his organs”,”

you narrow your eyes at him then for quite a while, then you scoff, “i am glad you’re here, dickhead,”

“so am i, headass,” he gives you a sincere smile

yuuji’s presence made things complicated even more

tsukishima didn’t appreciate the new flirty, good looking, lowkey smart trainee who was under your supervision

he was more irritable than usual, he knew he had no right to feel like that but still, he couldn’t help it

everytime he saw you two together working, laughing, grabing lunch together or even just being in the same area it made him want to break walls

but he couldn’t

he also saw how yuuji would flirt with other female collegues and it made him furious; you didn’t deserve that!

deserve what tho lol you and yuuji were friends but since tsukki was blinded by his jealousy or whatever he was feeling he assumes you were a thing or soon to be a thing

dumb mf

anyway

your boss had assigned you an important file to work on

all cool and shit until he mentioned that you had to work with tsukishima

ahaha.......... right

you started working the day after

°3°

it was awkward as fuck ngl, y’all would share max up to 3 words in a matter of 20mins

each one of you was sitting in their side

the tension buddy, the tension!!!!!

idk how you survived

day 2: you slapped some sense in yourself and an old relationship that ended in bad terms shouldn’t affect your work years after

so you started talking more, always pro stuff, but still

kei was the same as yesterday but that didn’t surprise you since he was always like that and you weren’t expecting anything from him except contribute effectively to the work, what he did

day 3: work in progress, nothing less

day 4: same as day 3 except that you stayed in later than the previous days

day 5: yuuji bursted in because he had broought you food, he kissed your temple before he left wishing you good luck. tsukki almost gagged, homie was fuming in rage

day 6:

it was late, everyone had left but you and kei still working on that goddamn file, thankfully he had given enough time to finish the work

“y/l/n, the food is here,” tells you tsukishima as he got back into the office

“thanks, i almost died from hunger,” you get up getting what you ordered

you were eating in silence until tall man decided to speak up, “funny, huh?” you looked at him confused. “how we went to the same highschool, same college and now we are working together,”

you just let an “oh” thinking about what you told him in that frat party, “i guess you were right, i was the problem,”

“tsukishima look, it’s been years and it’s all forgotten now okay?” he looks at his food, his mind elswhere

“remember what you told me in that party?”

“tsuki-”

“i mean, now that we’re grown ups we can talk about it, right? i feel like i didn’t get closure, not like i deserve it but still,8

you just nodd and go sit in front of him

“well, i lashed out on you on that party because i didn’t get closure, i was obviously still hurt and petty and immature. Seeing you there was like a slap in the face, i really want to apologize but i feel like what i said was true,”

“and it was true, it took sometime to accept it and realiwe it, but you don’t need to apologize; i didn’t treat you right, so i am sorry,”

you give him a small smile, “i am also sorry, i shouldn’t have talked to you that way it was rude,”

“but true,” he adds and you chuckle

“yeah, it’s all fine now. we can start over again,”

“i mean, i’d like to,” he gives you a small, tiny smile but you could still see it

“y/n?”

“mmh?” you look at him, your mouth full and cheeks about to explode

“i know we just made up and stuff but... please be careful with that new trainee,”

“yuuji? what why?”

“look i’m a man and i know wha another man thinks when i see him in action, and he’s just... not trustworthy i guess,”

“tsukishima kei, tf are trying to say?”

“look, i don’t want you to get hurt! but he is all flirty with other women and it’s just a huge disrespect to you and your relationship,” he explains

you look at him with wide eyes than laugh your ass off, you couldn’t believe what you just heard

“tsukki, yuuji is my bestfriend we’re not dating,” you wipe a tear tha slipped

he just stares at you, “oh” is all what he could say

“thanks for worrying tho,”

“whatever,” he rolls his eyes

as the days went by you and kei got closer

he would tease you and you’d tease him back

“oi, salt shaker, put my stuff on a high shelf again and i’ll pull your highschool pictures when you played vb,”

“as if you still have them” he scoffs

“don’t mess with me!”

“whatever shortie- OW why would you throw the stapler at me?”

“it’s your mouth that i’m gonna staple next time,”

anyway it was all giggles and shit

you enjoyed working together and gaining your complicity back

the due date came, you had to present in front of 3 other CEOs and your own ceo

you did an amazing job, obviously

everyone liked the harmony between the two of you and how neat your work was

“WOHOO here’s my bad bitch,” yuuji hugged you after the deliberation

“stfu we’re not alone,” you laugh. “did i look good?” you ask

he smirks and checks you out, twirling you and wolf whistling, “hotter than ever and thicker than snicker,” you laugh at his remark

“uhm-uhm,” tsukishima came behind you

“hey, sushimika, good job out there,” yuuji gives him a big grin

tsukishima just nodds and his eyes dart to yuuji’s arm around your waist, something he notices

“erm anyway, Vanessa is calling me gotta go,” he kisses your head and leaves

“he’s one of a kind, i gotta admit,” you say pulling him out of his trance

“i mean, y’all are bestfriends so i’m not surprised,” you roll your eyes

“we did a good job out there, i mean i was better but you weren’t too bad yourself,” he smirks

“you’re so annoying,” you laugh. “i guess we make a good duo,”

you lookn at each other for a while before tsukki finally speaks up

“uhm look, i know it’s only been one month since we’re back to normal but... would you maybe like to have dinner with me?” he rubbs the back of his neck

“like a date?”

“you know what i mean y/n,” he rolls his eyes

“uhm sorry i don’t clearly see what you mean,” you grimace

“ugh alright, like on a date, would go with me yes or no ?”

you laugh at his impatience, “pick me up at 7,”

“is that a yes?”

“you know what i mean, tsukki,” you say as you leave

so the date went well

really well

you didn’t want to burn steps so you lowkey took your time in the process of getting back together

going on dates, talking everything out to build a strong base

work together was fun

i mean i’m not gonna talk about the sneaky make out sessions but haha you know 👀 

surely you got back together, even shared an appartement and you are the happiest you’ve ever been

he proposed 3 years after

fin

taglist : @fallingforyuu @ukhyeonn @yeonayona  @terminallyvolatile @bryai003​ @ichigo-post​ @virgyalizu​ 

i truly hope you like it, <3

[stellaestra]

how would stray kids interact with mc in high school if they ever met? // high school au headcanons [stray kids/reader]

pairing: skz hyung line + mc [reader]

description: who would mc interact with in high school if they ever met? what kind of interactions would they have? // bulletpoints headcanons + small snippets

genre: platonic, high school au, friendship, humour, hurt/comfort

author’s note: this could be a stand alone or not, the mc is the same bodyguard/intern au!mc...it's just a "what ifs" kinda thing, fellas

p.s. some of the scenarios are based off real life events that happened to me in high school but i overly exaggerated some of them for the shit and giggles,, tell me which event actually happened to me in the askbox lmao I'm curious

pls I'm funny i swear

cw: minor swearing, just teenagers being teenagers, idiots, mention of blood (?) uhh mentions of violence (??)

unedited

// no beta read, we’ll die like men

---

bang chan

mc is a '00 liner,

she doesn't interact with her seniors pt.1

to interact with them; it would have to be a school event or a collab project between the seniors and the juniors

possibly would be approached first by chan during sports day or a school festival for something

he thought that she's a pretty decent track runner when he saw sprint during the sports day track event

after that incident, chan would greet her in the hallways or wherever if he ever comes across her

mc would always awkwardly greet him back

“hey! you’re that really fast track runner, you did great that day!” chan complimented her in the hallways. out loud.

mc prays to whoever above there that chan would stop talking so loud as she could feel her face burn when she felt eyes on her.

cue to her awkwardly smiling at him and nodding, “yep, that’s me, yes, alright, senior chan.”

chan finds her adorable ever since that first few encounters

he also found out that she hangs out with felix just as much as he does

(love rivals (for felix) arc when)

he doesn’t know who to be envious of

that mc gets to spend so much time with lix or

felix being able to spend so much time with her

the never-ending saga

(love rivals (for felix) arc turned into possible rivals to friends arc)

(okay, im joking)

their respective friends group made a running joke

about how chan and mc are love rivals for felix

(it eventually became theirs as well)

(it's funny)

once he made her go off-tangent about felix

she was really passionate about his freckles and smile

for a moment

he really did think that she has a crush on him

no surprises there tho

felix IS absolutely cute

(friends arc?? omg, all for felix, HA)

he really really finds her adorable

he could go on for days

esp her little habit of covering her mouth when she speaks

sweater paws bc he almost always sees her with a jacket on even if it was a hot day

it's like a second skin on her

he once asked her if she ever removes her jacket

“only when im on school ground or during school events like assembly, i’ll take it off, senior chan.”

“eh? don’t you feel warm underneath that during a hot day?”

“...i do remove it sometimes, i guess...but i like wearing it bc it’s comforting.”

one time chan saw her without her jacket and wears short-sleeves uniform, he really wanted to shower her in his affections n also it’s such a rare sight that he almost couldnt recognized her

“haha hey, you didn’t wore your jacket today!”

“they’re in the laundry and...today’s a hot day...unfortunately, haah.”

he once tried to ruffle her hair but found her dodging his hand so fast at breakneck speed

that he was kinda concerned

she told him that her hair hasn't been washed yet so it's dirty

but the thing is: she told him every time he tried to ruffle her hair

“you’re not letting me pat your head on purpose.”

“senior chan, i wouldn’t do such a thing.” he noticed the little teasing smile before it disappeared.

he wondered briefly if she has always been this playful and cheeky with others her age

chan is aware that she speaks formally towards him out of habit though so he lets it slide and let her take her time growing comfortable with him.

he knew she was lying but let's her be anyway

bc she's his cute little junior

---

lee minho

another case of mc's "no seniors juniors interaction"

minho’s very attractive so mc will definitely avoid him at all cost

plus, he looks intimidating to her so bye bye

to not step on any of her classmates' landmines that has the hots for him

drama isn't her thing, she already witness a handful and even got thrown into the fire as fuel before

no thank you she liked having her life in high school as peaceful as possible

mc would make her conversations with him very short n blunt

she's not gonna catch anyone's hands today, my dudes

really, she doesn’t

minho thinks of her like a small kitten that needs to be taken care of

bc of how she always scutters away from chan whenever he’s with him

if they ever interact

it would be when the juniors have the collab with their seniors

like a science fair, where the students have to come up with things to showcase

his class coincidentally collabs with her class for that particular event

he told chan about it and he have never seen chan pout and deflate like that

the only person he does that to is felix...if not, it’s jeongin.

chan sure adores this little junior other than felix huh…

then again, felix and mc does hangout a lot and so does jisung and her

so he took this chance as to know more abt her

coughs because jisung seems to be talking a lot about her coughs

(minho + mc love rivals (for jisung) arc pt. 2 when)

(mc really about to fight 2 seniors because she's stealing their respective juniors huh)

(the never-ending saga of love rivals)

he approached her inside that shared classroom for the collab event

she looked constipated when he approached her group of friends

even more so when he directly asked for name and whatnot

it kinda made him want to tease her even more now

he found out her name and what they were planning to do

heard her cursing under her breath

he decided to join their group on the whim

found out that mc is just a little shy whenever he approached her

her friends are somewhat protective of her

he got glared at by one of them once when he wanted to greet mc in the hallways

and mc kind of hid half of herself behind them

so whenever she’s on her own, he would try to approach her as slowly as possible

like. dealing with a cat and you’re a stranger trying to gain their trust

what he never will forget nor stop teasing her was about

her spinning on her heels to walk into the direction she was previously coming from

just to avoid him

he couldn't help but find it hilarious

he won her over when he brings the topic of cats wandering around their school campus

saw how her eyes lit up brightly

“the stray cats here are fun to play with, right?”

“yeah, me and friends decided to name a few of them too!”

he mentioned it to her because he saw her playing with the cats when she was waiting for someone or when she has time to play with them during recess

and the ramblings of a high schooler about cats commences

he wasn’t bothered about how much she talked

would nod along with what she says

because wow, shes really passionate about cats

that's a huge bonus for minho

and that was how minho adopted another kitten

whenever they weren’t busy with their own things, they would play with the cats together

playdate with cats <3

she would tell him that one particular grey cat was called

“this cat’s name is miss universe! they’re so cute, right?” she picked the cat up and cuddle with it, eyes sparkling with joy

“why did you guys name them that?”

“because why not?”

“fair enough point.”

and she laughs

he was glad that she stopped being so cautious around him if he was being honest

since the way chan was talking about her so affectionately made him really curious about her

casually mentions that jisung talks about her a lot

expected her to be bashful about it

but all she does was

“oh, cool, what did he say? I’m a weeb? Hah, he’s the same as I am” + "he should've said to it my face, senior minho, hmph"

so making her flustered backfired on him

poor minho

here’s your “you tried” star

mwah

so yeah, minho adopted a new cat (his little junior)

---

seo changbin

same case as the two above, unfortunately

if they do ever interact, it's short and pleasantries

mc does kinda find him intimidating to certain extent

she's not good with dealing with intimidating looking people

but when he smiles, her shoulders feel less tense when she interacts with him

thinks of him as a pretty cool senior

he made her listen to his rap once n she told him that he's so cool n that stuck with him for days

imagine a junior telling you that you're so cool with that starry-eyed expression

your ego would go off the rooftop

after that, changbin would make it out of his way to greet her in the hallways

RAP MUSIC BUDDIES???? POTENTIAL

pat her on the head occasionally

if she doesn't dodge like hell away from his hands

“why do you keep avoiding them”

“no, don’t pat me, you’re treating me like a cat”

“I’m not?” lies, ever since minho told him that she reminds him of a cat, he really thought about it more

“you have that same look minho gives me when he tries to pat me…hyung…”

“we’re really going to make you call us oppa one day, watch us”

“um, yeah, no.”

“let your cute senior pat your head!!”

“im gonna run away!”

he knows that the younger ones in their friend group do interact with her

esp felix and jisung

for innie’s circumstances, that’s different

she does comes to him every once in awhile to abuse her title of his cute little junior to get a chance to listen to a teaser of his raps or songs he composes

found out that she does like rap songs! a lot more than he thought

they became those friends who shares new songs they found out and share it with each other

even at ungodly hours like 2am in the morning

that would not stop them

“this song reminds me of you”

“hey hey hey listen to this, psst”

“This shit SLAPS, go listen or else im gonna fight you in the school hallway, coward”

he became smug about it and boast about his knowledge to 3racha

jisung complained that he thought she only listened to anime songs or soft indie songs because he saw her playlists before

changbin told them that she has other playlists that’s for more “intense and aggressive” songs

they were floored and the conversation starts like this,

“what do you mean she likes listening to yours and ours music and raps?”

“im not kidding, she does! she even showed me her playlists that were filled with rap, rock and metal songs!!”

“my little mc? likes those songs? are you sure you’re not dreaming?”

“it’s a public playlist, i even followed her playlists”

“If you’re wrong, hyung, im really gonna fight you on this! bc I KNOW her first”

“doesn’t mean that you know her BETTER”

lots of petty bickerings

chan and jisung has a big revelation about mc that day at school

(there goes mc’s little rep within their group of friends)

he did warned them to not tell her that he told them about it and

that they actually are aware of her music taste

or else

she tried to rap really fast one time, trying to rap like how he does

he had to witness her biting her tongue live

changbin would never think someone like her would have

such a vulgar language

every profanity he knows came out of her mouth

he quickly got her something to soothe her wounded tongue

after fretting over her though, he started teasing her

relentlessly

she threatened to sue him

"I'll sue you"

"with what money?"

"my 2 fucking dollars lunch money!"

"that's not enough to pay anything, not even your attorney!"

"fight me!"

he’s that older brother figure that mc would come to whenever she has no one to tell her woes to

their relationship turned out to have lots of playful banters and teasings

he gives very comforting hugs and pats

mc doesn’t want to admit it tho

well, until, changbin caught her snuggling into his hugs one fine day

“admit it, you like them, you like my hugs”

“okay, fine, i DO like them, they’re great hugs, don��t let it go to your head.”

“I KNEW IT”

“You’re so loud, shut up, hyung!”

“OH MY GOD, YOU FINALLY ADMIT TO IT, IM GONNA TELL THE WORLD-KSDFNKSDNF-”

"FUCK- I SAID, SHUSH"

rip in peace, changbin

he didn’t expect someone like her would have so much strength to smother his mouth with her hand and shut it

the more you know

curiousity killed the cat????

---

hwang hyunjin

avoidance at all cost (pt.2) despite being in the same year

why? exhibit a: he's considered very attractive in her year and that her classmates n batch mates have crushes on him

coughs one of the school princes coughs

their batch year prince

she's really gonna swerve away from him

interactions will be kept at a bare minimum

one time hyunjin n some others wanted to borrow a textbook from their class because they have forgotten theirs n he chose hers

she could feel cold sweat forming as she feels the death stare of some of her classmates

that gta [wasted] sfx whenever ur character dies

yeah that's mc

that was probably the last time she would even think about it

when he returned it back to her, he smiled at her, the really cute eye smile and she felt like she made the target on her back bigger lol

goodbye mc you've lived a good life

your friends will definitely will play never gonna give you up during your funeral (it's a promise)

jokes aside

hyunjin would probably noticed the panicked look in her eyes and wondered why

since his friends like felix and...jisung...and seungmin are like on good terms with her

he probably wondered about it a lot

borderlines on overthinking since both felix and jisung are particularly close to her

so she should know that he’s friends with them

ever since that encounter, it would come across his head whenever he saw her hanging out freely with felix or jisung or both of them

or when he come across her in the hallways

sometimes he wants to greet her but it feels like it would scare her away

esp when she looks ready to run into the opposite direction

if he ever made eye contact with her

so his plan to befriend mc has started

tried to join into the trio hangout; jisung, felix and mc

mc never did protest his presence like at all

but does occasionally look stiff when he's near her

eventually shes comfortable enough with him

but not enough to actually hang out with him alone though

that thought kind of made him feel envious towards the other boys

and a little left out

as a teenager, he has too many emotions to handle so

jisung and felilx caught the idea and told him to let her

take her time because she kinda. shy. (???)

that didn't stop him from mulling over it tho sometimes

one day he found her waiting at the bus stop

it was in the evening, she was still in her school uniform

he was kinda on an errand run too

kinda didn’t want to sit on the same bench as her

afraid that she might run away

she noticed him standing there eventually albeit very anxiously and kinda awkward

a casual greeting slipped past her lips which shocked hyunjin to his very core

he splutters back a reply

“on an errand run, errand boy?"

"huh?"

“uh, um, pretend that i didn’t say anything.”

“right, sure, but may i sit next to you, the bus seemed to be late and my legs are kinda tired.”

“oh, uh, yeah, sure, but you didn’t have to ask, y’know?”

“well, didn’t wanna scare you off…"

“it’s nothing personal, if that’s what you’re worried about,” + “it’s just. didn’t wanna step on a landmine and the girls in our batch seemed to adore you a lot and me being close to you might set off the wrong signal…?”

“that’s absurd, you’re...being unreasonable..i mean, its none of their business-!”

“i know, im sorry, my bad, it’s not your fault either, it’s not anyone’s fault, to be honest.”

for a moment, he found her reasoning to be petty and unreasonable until it finally clicks inside her head, from her point of view when he really thought it through.

“...no wait, im sorry, i think, i kinda get why when i really thought about it.”

“yeah, it’s no biggie, don’t worry, im sorry too, we’ll both get over it”

“...um, we’re friends, right?”

“...i suppose so, if you dont mind, dummy.”

a giddy smile crossed his face while mc struggles to not stare at him looking so cute like that as she coughs into her hand, avoiding eye-contact

pretty boys have too much power in their hands

and she’s one of their fallen victims towards their charms

this isn’t fair for her heart

so when the bus arrived

they sat beside each other on the bus

hyunjin did most of the chattering while mc listens

he was so glad he cleared smth up with her

if she allows it, he would definitely tried to hug her

until he remembers that one time changbin told him he almost got punch in the face by her

when he tried doing it the first time and startled her

yeah no not now

maybe sometime in the near future, a long-awaited hug would be great

(if he was honest tho, he really wanted to cry when she told him the truth)

(it felt like a heartache)

but it’s okay now though

they’re friends now (somewhat) and that’s all that matters

---

[masterlist]

[syinisuga]

Begin Again [MinYoongi]

Pairing : Yoongi x Reader

Word count : 5.2K

Genre : Fluff and Angst

Description : Friends to lovers, Long Distance relationship, Lovers to (?)

Summary : when you thought the friendship you once had with him died away after one silly mistake, and you thought you would never have again what you lost;

But it blossoms back unexpectedly stronger and is slowly growing to be something more beautiful than you ever had

"I've been spending the last eight months thinking all love ever does is break and burn, and end;

But on a Wednesday in a cafe i watched it Begin Again"

--------------------✨📖✨---------------------

It was the start of a new year and you weren't particularly happy about being moved up a few classes into an entirely new class with relatively new students you haven't personally met yet. You were still grateful for your good results in the past year to have you land in such a good class. In all honesty though, you did miss your friends from your old class, all of them being scattered in the back classes however changed your mind about being thankful that you're at least in a better one. The first few days of getting used to the classes went by rather slowly as you were listening to the introductions of the other students and teachers half mindedly, till around your 4th day into the classes that is.

You were randomly seated in the Chemistry lab by the teacher as she familiarised herself with the rest of the class. Not paying much attention you were spacing out, resting your chin on your palm, tapping away at your cheek.

" Um, hey there"

The voice from the stool next to you spoke. You turned your head to the direction of the voice, being met with warm brown eyes looking right at you. He had soft black hair, eyes slightly puffy as if he hadn't slept well the night before, lips curled up in a slight smile as he looked at you.

"Oh, hello"

you answered, trying not to sound overly shocked at the first human interaction you've had in this new class.

"I'm yoongi, what's your name?"

"I'm y/n, nice to meet you Yoongi"

"So what are your interests? What do you like to do y/n? Any hobbies?"

It definitely took you by surprise when this boy you've never really met before was suddenly making an interest to get to know you more. Something about him felt raw and not shy but in a good way.

"Well i really love listening to music and i do indulge in art as well. Spend most of my time listening to songs while drawing. Draw the mood of the song you know?"

"Damn, haha you sound kinda like me. Not tryna be cheesy or anything but i love listening to music too, I'm shit at drawing tho, i can barely draw a stickman"

Both of you exchanged a little chuckle at his open confession about himself. And even though it had only been a few minutes of words between the two of you, you felt at that moment that he wasn't like the other boys who popped up to talk to you first. This one genuinely seemed interested in you just to make a new friend.

-----------------------🤝------------------------

"Yo y/n you wanna ditch PE and hang out in the library? The new Resident Evil movie came out we can watch"

"You know what, yeah let's yeet"

You don't know how it went from spending lunch times together, to skipping the most boring subjects to hang out and hide. It'd been a few months since you started your new friendship with Yoongi, and by now you were known as the inseparable duo, funny enough both of you became the class representatives. Somehow you two got closer and closer each day, the more you talked the more you felt like you've known each other for years, yet some part of you knew that there was more to Yoongi than he was showing to you.

On a particularly slow day at your classes, you and Yoongi had pre planned to sneak out to hang out at your usual spot in the library. Sitting at the back of the library the both of you laughed at a joke Yoongi made about how almost the whole school shipped the both of you.

"You know y/n, I envy you"

"Oh well, I know I'm fabulous" you playfully said as you flipped your hair back, earning a little grunt and a harmless eye roll from Yoongi.

"It's not that you loonatic, i envy you...cause you have such a nice relationship with your family"

His sudden statement caught you slightly off guard but you gave him a look, clearly eager to know the reason behind his words. Flashing half a smile towards you he starts his story.

"Growing up for me was, well, it was an experience. I grew up under the care of foster parents who constantly reminded me that my parents gave me away cause i was a burden, all my life that's what i was told. Never had a father figure or mother figure to help shape my emotions? Guess that's why I don't show it if I'm sad or depressed, which is actually most of the time"

he looks down at his hands and chuckles softly.

"But you know something y/n? Being with you makes me feel like I could be myself, like I don't have to be afraid of being judged. And that's why I wanted you to know the truth but i understand if you don't wanna get involved or-"

You cut him off by placing your hand on his, giving him a reassuring smile.

"Yoongi, i want you to know that I'll always be here for you and you can talk to me about this anytime okay? You're my best friend now! And I'm hoping I'm yours too?" You ask in a more playful tone making yoongi giggle.

"Of course you are"

"Good! Cause i come in a package deal of crackhead and supportive as well as a no return contract"

"Sounds perfect to me bestie"

-----------------------😚------------------------

Over 2 years had passed and the whole highschool down to the teachers were sure the two of you were in a relationship, as everyone saw the two of you being practically stuck together almost all the time. Yoongi and your friendship became stronger than ever since that day he decided to open up to you. It became a regular thing where you'd confide in each other for emotional comfort as well as motivation and support. Not missing the fact that your level of crackhead together had become an all time high.

Your finals and exams blasted through and you had spent all your study weeks with Yoongi in the library. As sketchy as it was you and your best friend actually did sincere studying. And as it would, your hard work together paid off earning the both of you high marks in your finals. The two of you didn't miss to make a trademark crackhead scene at the receiving of the scroll ceremony when you accidentally tripped on your shoelace and Yoongi cracked up laughing and clapping before helping you up. The two of you celebrate with drinks and a lot of food that night and Yoongi paid for everything to make it up to you for laughing when you fell.

You looked at yourself one last time in the mirror before heading out to your highschool's hall. It was your graduation party but more importantly to you it was Yoongi's birthday. Coincidentally the two events had fallen on the same day, and what better opportunity than to get dressed up to party at your graduation ceremony together. It had been a heck of a ride these last two years, and you were going to make sure this last school event would be memorable.

Upon arriving you scan around the hall of students in search of the familiar face.

"Looking for me?"

He makes his presence behind you known by clearing his throat. You turn around to give your usual playful comment back but the words were caught in your throat as your gaze landed on your best friend. He was dressed smart, in a suit that looked like it was custom made to fit him, his hair in a side part and bangs neatly framing his face. You were so used to seeing him in his casual hoodies and ripped jeans that seeing him in formal wear made you choke on your words.

Too focused on getting your senses back in check, you don't notice how Yoongi's train of thought was stopped dead in its tracks as he watched you turn around to face him. He never pictured his crackhead of a best friend in something other than t-shirts and track pants. Seeing you in a dress that hugged your figure in all the right places and taking in the sight of you, with your makeup and hair all done to suit the dress you were wearing nearly made him pass out from how he was holding his breath to admire you.

Clearing the silence between the two of you, Yoongi speaks up first.

"Well well, you don't completely look like the satanic spawn of hot cheetos and depression today. You actually look pretty good"

Smirking a little smile you bite back at his comment.

"Well same to you too Mr. I'm a millennial emo teen. You actually look, presentable today"

The two of you exchanged a playful giggle and assumed your seats at your class tables as the ceremony went on.

You don't see the small glances Yoongi takes in your direction, the thoughts gushing through his mind about how you looked at the moment and cursing himself for not realising your features sooner. He admired the way you had chosen to dress up today, seeing the way you had styled your hair so your curls would frame your face, the way you had done your makeup in a more natural looking way that he thought suited you perfectly. Yoongi didn't remember when the unlabeled feelings for you came but the longer he looked at you the more he was starting to put a name to the feelings he had. So much so that he had completely spaced out in his thoughts of you like that he didn't realise you were speaking to him.

" -don't you think so Yoongi?"

"I'm sorry what did you say? The umm, the music is so loud"

"I saaaaiiddd it's beginning to get a little dull at this graduation ceremony, we need a little surprise, don't you think?"

"Surprise?? What kind of surprise?"

Flashing a smile his way you get up and walk towards the front of the hall where the ceremony host was finishing up their ending speech. Whispering into the host's ear, he gives you the microphone and you confidently stride to the front. But you accidentally go too close to the speaker and it lets out an unpleasant squee, making you move back and away a little. You look up and around finding your best friend's eyes looking back at you giggling at the scene that just occured.

"Well that's one way to get everyone's attention" you chuckle earning muffled chuckles and words from the hall.

"So firstly congrats to everyone on graduating y'all did it. But that's not why I'm up here right now. Today is a special day for someone, and since it's the last day we'll all be gathering I wanted to make this memorable for him. So everyone I would like to wish out here, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIN YOONGI"

you started to sing happy birthday and the rest of the hall joined in singing with you.

In all this happening, Yoongi could only focus on you, the way you just boldly got up to sing out loud and wish him Happy Birthday in the most "you" way possible. So he didn't know if it was the moment or if it was his unlabeled feelings overflowing for you, that he got up and walked towards you as the song was ending. He couldn't tell what came over him at that moment but he knew for sure he wasn't going to stop what he was about to do next. Cupping your cheeks in his palms, he leaned in, pressing his soft lips to yours. Kissing you with deep feelings overtaking his mind. The moment his lips touched yours he knew what those unlabeled feelings were, it was Love.

You couldn't process fast enough that your best friend was striding towards you with a goal, a desire. And you surely didn't expect for him to suddenly kiss you. Registering the feeling of his lips on yours, your eyes closed on their own as if on automatic response. You sank into the feeling of his lips, and it was then you felt the spark that ignited your own unlabeled feelings for Yoongi. You had definitely asked yourself countless times before if what you were feeling for Yoongi was more than just friendship. On the countless nights he had cried on your shoulder or when you cried on his, on the many occasions where you were both always partners in crime, you would always glance at Yoongi and wonder what more could there be to the feelings between you.

As the both of you slowly pulled away from each other a roaring sound of cheers erupted as it seemed to be that the two of you were the last ones to know you two were actually in love with each other. Taking your hand in his, Yoongi and you ran out of the hall that night knowing well where the two of you stood from that moment on.

-----------------------❤️------------------------

"No babe I think you should definitely take the opportunity to study there, I know it's far but it'll be really good for you, plus it's something you really like! It'll take some time for you to get used to the new place but i know you'll fit right in. In fact i know your wack ass would stand out"

You giggled at his comment but you wholeheartedly took his motivation and advice. But the question and thoughts still lingered in your mind as you heard Yoongi chuckle on the other end of the phone.

"But Yoongi, this means we'd be in a long distance relationship, with you going off to study in the opposite direction and all. Even our breaks don't match Yoongi.. what'll we do" the worrying tone in your voice didn't go unnoticed by Yoongi as he answered you in a calm reassuring tone.

"It'll take some work, but i know we can get through this okay? We'll make it, we can make it. I love you" you smiled at Yoongi's voice uttering the sweet words of love as you felt yourself calm your thoughts.

"I love you too Yoongi. Well then, keep me company while i pack?"

"You bet"

It had been a few months since you started dating, and honestly it didn't feel any different from when the two of you were in your phase of friendship, everything was going relatively smooth apart from the little fights and misunderstandings you had now that you were a couple. Sometimes you sit to think to yourself if moving into a relationship with Yoongi was the best choice, it would feel as though sometimes he would act differently and not like he always would but you just shake of the thoughts. You just figured with all these future college studies and intakes coming about that he was just as stressed as you were. You assured yourself that the two of you would be alright and that you'll always have each other.

A few more months pass and the two of you have already started your college lives. Yoongi being in a campus almost 8 hours away from you with minimal transport for him to even go home let alone plan to meet you. It was going smoothly, settling into orientation and getting to know the layouts of the campus well, meeting new friends and truly taking in your next step in education. You and Yoongi would exchange day to day text messages about how orientation and the first days of classes went.

All well and good till Yoongi's texts became slower and less frequent, he would always say that he's busy with his friends there, or straight up not giving a response at all. You became more and more fearful at how this long distance thing was going to work out for the two of you.

28th Tuesday

[12:27am] hey Yoongi! I hope you had a great day, I miss you and hope you sleep well, love you!

[08:40am] Hey Babe, good morning! I'm in class now, wishing we could skip like old times haha, hope you have a great day! Text me soon

[6:48pm] Hey i just got back to my dorm after classes, it was super fun! How was your day??

[8:11pm] Yoongi?? Are you okay? Are you busy babe?

[8:24pm] I miss youuuuuuuu :(

[10:16pm] Yoongi :(

You tossed your phone to the side of your bed as you felt your tears well up, why was he suddenly avoiding you? Is he okay?? Did he get hurt? Your thoughts were spiraling, getting messier till you heard the familiar ping from your phone. You scurried to your phone to see Yoongi's name pop up on the screen. Your smile quickly faded, replaced by disappointment at his reply.

[10:43pm] Hey, was busy with friends today, going to bed now ttyl <3

You frowned and wouldn't let him go this time. The days of short texts to unreplied texts and this is how he replies now? In a fit of fury you call him.

"Hello?-"

"Yoongi what's wrong? You haven't been replying to my texts as usual are you okay??"

"Mmh I'm fine, just busy with classes and my new friends y/n"

"Well I can't accept that answer Yoongi, I'm busy with classes and friend's here too but I take the time so why can't you?"

"Hey it's not that big of a deal y/n, we're in new environments now and it'll take me some time to settle in"

"Yoongi surely you have at least 5 minutes a day to text me??"

"Yeah of course I do, I just texted you didn't i?"

"That short ass reply was what you call a text Yoongi? It really sounds like you're avoiding me"

"You know what y/n I don't have time for this right now I'm tired"

"No Yoongi, I haven't talked to you properly in days come on don't you miss me Yoongi?"

"To be honest I've been enjoying the new company here that's I haven't missed you much"

"What do you mean Yoongi? You don't think of me?"

"Not all the time no, i have other things to think about here y/n i have new responsibilities here I can't be thinking about you all the damn time, just be happy I texted you back"

"Are you threatening to not text me anymore Yoongi? Is that what you're saying? You don't wanna talk to me anymore?"

"Oh god for fucks sake y/n stop being so clingy alright? Just grow up a little!"

The sound of his voice in heightened frustration made you choke on your words, you silenced yourself as his words rang loud in your head.

"You know what y/n I don't think this will work out, I'm going to get even busier and this will just be in the way of it all"

"Yoongi…"

"I'm sorry y/n but clearly this distance is proving that we won't work out"

"Are you... breaking up with me Yoongi?.."

The pain in your voice and the soft shaky exhale doesn't go unnoticed by Yoongi. Yoongi takes a deep breath, realising he spoke too fast in frustration. As much as he did feel for you this distance was tearing you apart and Yoongi didn't want to believe it but it was the truth. He spoke softer this time giving his side of his explanation.

"Y/n, you've been nothing but amazing to me, but I realize that we were more compatible as friends, I mean think about it, we've had so many petty fights that we never had before we dated. Our growing college life will further hinder our relationship. I don't want to hurt you like this by not giving you the love and attention you deserve. I'll always love you y/n, just not as more than friends I suppose"

You couldn't believe what was happening right now, your world felt like it was crashing down on you hard and fast, you could feel the sharp stinging in your chest from how your heart was breaking the more reality hit you. Yoongi's words had reason to them, but you were still in a state of confusion. Why could you make time for Yoongi but he couldn't for you? Maybe it's because the two of you are pursuing different fields of studies? Maybe he really had better things to do? Yoongi didn't want to hurt your feelings by making you feel abandoned so he was in fact abandoning you? No? But he said he'll still love you?? Your head was spinning a bunch of thoughts ran through your head.

"Okay Yoongi...if that's what would be the best for us..then okay"

"Don't worry okay? We'll still text as usual, talk when we can okay? I won't let you go, you're still my best friend y/n"

You didn't know if his words would be comforting enough, but at that moment you took what you had and calmed your thoughts for now.

"Okay Yoongi.."

"Good, I have an early schedule tomorrow. I'll talk to you later okay? I'm going to bed now. Goodnight y/n"

"Good night Yoongi"

-----------------------💔------------------------

As it will, Yoongi and you slowly drifted apart. You would often see his social media updates about how he was actively participating in clubs, and how he had taken up new responsibilities, going to camps and hosting events at his institute and he definitely seemed to be doing well. You on the other hand fell more and more at war with your emotions, it didn't hinder your studies. Thankfully you could keep those two apart. But whenever it got a little too quiet you'd think of him, the days in highschool when you were inseparable. You missed his laugh, his endearing way of calling you the most heinous nicknames. You definitely missed his comforting arms, his words of encouragement when you were down, you wished nothing more that in this moment you were crying to him instead of because of him.

You couldn't believe that you were sitting here, broken and feeling alone by the guy that made his way into your life, and had now made his way out in the most painful way possible. You were left there clueless and confused. Did he do it for you? Was it the right thing? Did he really think of you? Why was this happening? What would have happened if you didn't date? Would things be different? Would your best friend have stayed? All these questions playing through your mind, countless nights you spent crying yourself to sleep. Thinking of how you felt almost betrayed, you cursed at yourself for sending texts to him that were only left on read or replied with a simple "I'm busy, text you later".

Slowly days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months as you hadn't spoken much to Yoongi. You became stone hearted from all that had happened and slowly you got back into yourself. You were more and more active in your college life and you were growing to be better at controlling your emotions. Sure some little things remind you of him now and then, but it was much easier by now to brush his thoughts off. As sadly as your situation was you learned to move with it and not let it consume you. Every now and then you'd see Yoongi piston updates on his progressively active life and you'd feel happy for him, you wondered if he ever felt the same for you when he saw your updates on how well you were doing.

----------------------🍃-------------------------

It had been a total of 4 years since everything happened, you were on a roll and you had graduated college. You had a few job applications pending and you were more stable with your life by now. All the questions you once had were stored in a box collection dust in the far corner of your mind.

It was a relaxing Saturday evening, you were in your apartment lounging on your bed. As you were chatting away with your friends a familiar ping aroused from your phone. The name that popped up on the screen made your heart heavy and you breathing shallow, a true ghost from your past…

"Yoongi 🥀"

Your screen read. Taking a deep breath you opened the chat.

[9:57pm] Hey y/n it's been a long time… are you free tonight? Can I call you?

You didn't know what exactly to think right now. Every cell in your brain telling you not to. That you shouldn't give into him again, and that you should just talk to him over text no matter what it was. But your heart was screaming for him, the familiar feeling of longing for him returning in a massive tsunami, washing over your thoughts. You took a deep breath to centre your thoughts and decided you'd listen to him and talk to him again.

[9:59pm] Hey Yoongi, yeah I'm free to talk.

As soon as the message was read by him, your phone rang. You took one more deep breath and answered the call.

"Hello y/n, how are you?"

You cursed in your head at how much you missed his voice, the way he spoke to you at this moment had a hint of the same longing you had for him.

"Hey..Yoongi, I'm good. How are you?"

"I've been good too.. congratulations on graduating"

"Thanks Yoongi, congratulations on graduating too.."

"Thanks…"

The silence that fell had you both reflecting on everything that happened and how fast it all went by. The box of questions in your mind burst out once again whereas Yoongi on the other hand was feeling guilt and hate towards himself for everything that he put you through. Little did you know that these last few months Yoongi was hit with the hard realisation that he had lost not only his best friend but the person he cared about the most. His family certainly did not improve and the one person who was there for him when he needed it, he had left broken hearted and abruptly once he found a new escape. Yoongi was slowly flooded with memories of you as he neared his own college graduation. He remembered your highschool graduation and how he felt for you there in that moment of time. He spent a few nights crying at the realisation that he had thought of what's best for you but didn't think of how you felt and how he had left things between the two of you.

"Why Yoongi…."

Was all you managed to say out loud before your emotions caved in. Understanding what you were asking he answered.

"I was so caught up in the new environment of growing up and moving on that I did what I thought was the best to not hurt you...but I didn't think far enough that doing so will indeed hurt you.. and I wasn't there for you like i was supposed to. It took a hard hit to my head to realise that I was wrong y/n… you were always there for me and stupidly I made this mistake… I thought i was thinking of the best for both of us, when in fact i was thinking of myself.. I was selfish and I realised that…so many things reminded me of you y/n, the clouds, the sun, the sight of roses, the smell of hot cheetos.."

You giggled a little at his last comment earning a little muffled one from Yoongi.

"I understand if you hate me for what I did to you y/n… and I don't know if it'll ever be the same between us again.. but I'm willing to try to bring back what we had... if you're willing to give me a chance…"

You exhaled softly before letting out everything that you've been feeling.

"I don't hate you Yoongi, I never could and I never will. You're everything to me Yoongi and I was just really hurt by what you did and how you ended things. So many thoughts went through my head and I won't even talk about how much you made me cry….you dipshit" the playful cursing nickname made Yoongi chuckle a little, slowly making him feel reassured at the directions of the conversation.

"I'm willing to give us a chance Yoongi..and you're right, I don't expect it to be the same as what we had, I just hate that I lost my best friend.."

"I know..i understand that..and I'm sorry..for everything"

"It's okay Yoongi, I'm sorry too… maybe I should've been more understanding…"

"Hey… do you.. wanna hang out Tomorrow night?"

"You wanna hang out?"

"Yeah, i wanna see you and catch up with you"

"Sure Yoongi that'd be nice"

"Great!! I'll meet you at the café by our old highschool?"

"Sure Yoongi, sounds great"

"Right then, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow Yoongi"

You could hear the smiles in each other's voices as you both bid goodnight and hung up the phone. You didn't know what it was exactly but you knew just from that phone call that everything was going to be alright. You felt like you breathed much easier now, your mind much lighter. Yoongi felt the same, he was smiling more now filled with the excitement of meeting you again tomorrow after years.

-----------------------✨------------------------

You made sure to check yourself out in the mirror a few more times before heading towards the café. You had chosen to wear a simple yet stylish outfit, your hair tied back in a low loose ponytail, your short hairs framing your face. You were nervous yet excited to be reunited with your best friend again. And as you approach the café, there he was. Standing outside the door of the café waiting for you. The now slightly more mature looking, dark fluffy haired man, wearing a long black coat was looking just as nervous and excited as he was looking down at his feet.

"I didn't know you needed glasses to see now"

your voice made him turn his head fast in your direction. The moment his gaze landed on you, it felt like highschool all over again. The way you looked standing there, just centimetres away from him. He took in your slightly matured face yet he told himself that you hadn't changed one bit.

"It's official, you're old Yoongi"

He chuckled and playfully scoffed at your comment.

"Well at least i don't dress like the satanic spawn of depression and hot cheetos"

"Sure thing Mr. I'm still a millennial emo teen"

The two of you laughed, and the world seemed to slow down. The feeling that nothing ever really changed between the two of you was knowing, however this time something felt entirely different. Both of you could feel it for sure. It was the feeling of a bond stronger than both friendship and love. You didn't know what the feeling was exactly, all that you knew was that you're never losing each other again. All this while you've been sitting there watching the feelings you had burn and crash in the worst way possible, but today right here at this café, right in front of your eyes you watched everything Begin Again.

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

[ellewidogast]

Oh gawd >> I was tagged by @atomic-number-83 like 10 months ago? This has been sitting in my drafts for so, so long. Woops?

zodiac sign: Sagittarius

height: 5′4.......and like 3/4s? I guess I could round up to 5′5 but that feels like cheating, so generally I just say I’m 5′4

last movie I saw: Hm...I can’t remember the last movie, but I just binged through Heaven Official’s Blessing on Netflix, that’s kinda like watching a movie?

last thing I Googled: I think it was either something about Critical Role episodes for ficcing reasons or Pillars of Eternity guides or maybe it was the English cast for The Way of the Househusband? I google a lot u gais.

favorite musician/band: Hmm lots but most current is hm...Billie Eilish, rn?

song stuck in my head: ...nothing atm

other blogs: I mean, I’ve got some side blogs here and accounts other places like pillowfort, but this is basically it

following: 46, shoutout to my mutuals...even tho we never talk (well beewaggle and I do) @molvrae @thatcrittermad @senator-organa @beewaggle @aoida-blue

followers: 98 (and pls see above mutuals lol)

do I get asks: I got a few when I did three sentence prompts (which I’m still accepting for CR btw) but uh otherwise no, not really. I’m not so good at inspiring people to interact with me? Not really sure how-why I’m bad at socializing lol.

amount of sleep I get: 6-7 hrs on weekdays I think, but it’s never enough

lucky numbers: What is this luck u speak of?

dream job: Is lottery winner a profession? How about a farmer in Stardew Valley? No? Uh....a writer I guess (approximately with Neil Gaiman level of success?). Really tho I just want to be financially secure enough to support me, a couple cats, and sometimes travel to nice places.

dream trip: Hawaii or the UK? Vancouver would also be good, so I can finally be face to face with my bestie and give her a real hug.

instruments: Nope. I joined chorus instead of band in middle school (spoilers, that didn’t last either). Took some guitar lessons briefly but my fingers are too short to be much good at it.

languages: Also nope. I took so many Spanish classes and several German classes and nothing stuck. Occasionally I get the crazy idea that I’ll learn Mandarin and spend a few days on Duolingo, then I get exhausted by existing and stop.

favorite song: My fave changes all the time, but I always turn up the volume for Bang! by AJR, Heathens by Twenty One Pilots, and Ex’s & Oh’s by Elle King

TAGGING: uh..........mutuals! I choose you! If you want, lol. Also even if ur not a mutual and u want to.

[gaylotusthatexists]

An Accidental Confession

pairing: dukexiety

summary: Virgil and Remus are relaxing together after a day at school, when Remus confesses something neither of them expected.

trigger warnings: swearing, blood mention, general remus-related body horror mention

word count: 1080

a/n: Yo, I wrote this based on a prompt by @pattonkittysquad2 over on the big bang discord server, so you can blame them for this entirely. Had a great time writing it tho, so thank you <3 Anyway this was just be practising writing dukexiety, but I hope y’all enjoy ^^

ao3

Virgil spread his legs out across the bed as he ran his fingers through Remus' hair. He hadn't exactly planned for this to happen, but it wasn't his fault that Remus had his head laid on his stomach, in the perfect position for Virgil to play with his hair. And Remus didn't seem to be objecting, so Virgil saw no reason to stop. Maybe asides from the fact that his brain wouldn't stop screaming because Remus was so close.

He was rambling on about something, Virgil was pretty sure. He wasn't quite paying attention. For the last hour or so since they arrived back at Virgil's place, Virgil had been scrolling through Tumblr on his phone, mostly looking at aesthetics and reblogging the occasional piece of art. This wasn't the first time they had done this, of course. Remus came round after school almost very day, and if he didn't he was often on call to Virgil for several hours, but...

Christ, they had never been this close. He supposed that Remus was just exhausted, or something. Tired. Exam season was coming up soon, and whilst Remus wasn't exactly a brilliant student, Virgil knew that he tried his best in his studies, and exam stress was definitely beginning to get to him. To get to both of them.

So nights like this was good. Nights where they didn't have to worry about school, where they could just lie together and be at peace. Remus was letting out his thoughts and emotions and Virgil was just relaxing.

"So then I just stab the guy, right? And-"

Oh. That didn't sound great. What was Remus talking about again?

"-then another monster comes round the corner, and at this point I've got basically no weapons and I'm completely fucked, y'know?"

Ah. A video game, probably. Remus did play a lot of those, Virgil noticed. Horror games particularly. Virgil himself wasn't a massive fan - he was a big fan of sleeping at night, not really a fan of staying up and staring at the door in case a horrible beast burst threw and ate off his face.

"-but of course I'm gonna keep going, because I gotta rescue my true love or whatever, right? Like, if you were stuck in a tower obviously I'd come and save you, so it wasn't really a question-"

Virgil froze. He stared at his phone screen for a second, vision blurring slightly, before he blinked and glanced down at Remus.

"Sorry, what did you just say?" he asked.

Remus smirked. "I tore the guys arm off and blood splattered everywhere," he repeated, proudly.

"No, uh, before that."

He frowned. "Before... Oh. Right." He sat up, readjusting himself to sit cross legged. "You mean about you being stuck in a tower?"

Virgil nodded, slowly.

"Yeah, I probably fantasise about that a little too much, I think Roman's a bad influence on me."

Virgil tried his best to remain calm. "D-Did you mean that other thing you said, though?"

Remus hummed. "What other thing?"

"You... You implied that you love me?"

Remus' eyes widened. "Oh, shit, did I?"

"Kinda?"

"Is... Is that okay?" he asked, moving his legs so they hung off the bed. "It's okay if it isn't. I mean, I do kinda think of you like that, but I understand if you don't, like it's fine, I-"

Virgil's thoughts exploded in a million different directions. Was Remus really saying what he thought he was saying? Was... Was this a confession of love, or something? Was this what Virgil had been waiting for, for so long, what he hadn't even thought he'd been waiting for?

Maybe he had known it. All those nights that the two had spent together, laughing and playing and sharing secrets. All those years where it was just the two of them, protecting each other, looking out for each other, taking on the world together. All of those hugs they had shared, the tears they had shed, the smiles they had traded. And now...

"Oh, God, sorry, I'm freaking you out now-"

Virgil shut him up by pressing their lips together and all of a sudden things began to make sense. In that moment, their hearts intertwined as one, beating in sync. Remus melted into Virgil, reaching his arms around his shoulders and kissing back. It was passionate, verging on aggressive, as they made up for all those years lost.

And when Virgil finally pulled away, he looked at Remus, staring back in shock. That look just made him panic again.

"Sorry, was that too-"

"Don't apologise," Remus said, moving closer to Virgil. "I just wasn't-"

"I feel the same way," Virgil blurted out, immediately turning a bright shade of pink a few moments later.

Remus giggled. "Wow, really? I never would've guessed-"

"Shut up," Virgil grumbled, shoving him playfully. "I... God, I didn't even realise it until just now."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Seriously?"

"Yeah... H-How long have you-"

"Years," Remus said. "Since... Remember that time we went exploring in the woods and found that stone wall?"

Virgil nodded. "We climbed it and I fell off. I got a cut on my knee, it was bleeding for days..."

"That's when I first figured it out," Remus said. "The thought of losing you made me realise that I wanted to be with you, all the time. I-It was silly, because it was hardly a fall, you were fine, but... We were young."

"That- That was, like, five years ago, though," Virgil said.

"Yup." Remus smirked. "I was waiting."

For a moment longer, the two just stared at each other, until Virgil burst into laughter. He wasn't sure why - maybe he was just happy, or maybe it was something about Remus' smile. He threw his arms around Remus again and pulled him in for a hug, returning to scrolling into his phone, just happy that he understood what was so special about the two of them now.

"So, does this make us boyfriends?" Remus asked.

"Eh, I wouldn't put a label on it yet," Virgil said.

"But do I get to kiss you?"

"Absolutely."

[rokutouxei]

the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

ikemen vampire: temptation through the dark theo van gogh / mc | T | [ ao3 link in bio ]

The challenge seemed pretty simple: to try to befriend the university bookshop’s most sour employee, Theo van Gogh. As a literature major with a boatload of book recommendations on her back, it ought to be a simple task indeed. But as she uncovers what lies between Theo’s pages, the more she finds it harder to become closer to him without having to put the feeling directly into words. What can she learn from Theo about what it means to stay—and how can she teach Theo about what it means to let go? | written for ikevamp big bang 2020!

[ masterpost for all chapters ]

CHAPTER 9 OF 22

You will let my tender hook Catch the folded darkness inside you, let me occupy The dented place at the base of your throat. - "One Life", Carlomar Arcangel Daoana

--

She wakes up late.

Comically late.

No hangover, thank god—but it’s 11am and she’s dressed in lent pajamas in a bed that isn’t her own. She shoots up to sitting position in a second, and standing in a minute, trudging out the room to the bathroom at the end of the hall.

By the time she’s up and out of the room, a little more awake, Dazai and Arthur have already long gone, the only remnants of their presence the bit of glitter that they had wiped onto the sofa they nestled in.

And text messages.

She squints when she reads it, not because she had a hard time reading what it said, but—because she couldn’t believe what it said.

A series of text messages from Dazai:

[ 7:23 | Dazai ] ur still asleep but ur friend kinda hot

[ 7:24 | Dazai ] ofc I woke up first but his eyelashes tho???

[ 8:32 | Dazai ] pls tell me he’s not a douche bc im rly gonna jump him

[ 9:03 | Dazai ] mgonna jump him

[ 10:19 | Dazai ] abt to find out if he’s got the magnum sized dong u promised

Oh, god, what has she done.

With a groan, she heads down the hallway, phone securely in the pocket of the sweatpants, to see Vincent and Theo preparing a meal in the kitchen; Theo preparing some sort of fillet (fish? Chicken?) and Vincent frying some onions and garlic on the stove, filling the kitchen with a nice aroma.

“Good morning,” she says softly, as she shuffles onto one of the dining table chairs.

“Thought you died,” Theo says with a snort; but once he turns around to face her, all derision goes away in his face and is replaced by a quiet surprise.

Vincent beams as he turns to get the fillets from Theo. (It’s chicken.) “Good morning. Did you sleep well? No headache?”

She shakes her head. “Nope, I’m good. Thanks for letting me sleep here last night and for the clothes.”

“Of course, no problem at all,” Vincent answers, turning back to the pan. The chicken makes a sizzle as it meets the oil.

Theo is still staring at her with an odd look on his face.

“Earth to Theo?” she calls out, waving her hand in front of her. “Something wrong?”

“Broer. Why did you lend her my clothes.”

Oh.

“You know how most my shirts are, paint-stained in all the weird places.”

She feels the cling of the cotton around her skin so differently, so suddenly. Oh.

“She wouldn’t have minded, she was drunk.”

That’s correct, but—

Vincent smiles at Theo, the kind of smile one makes when they can see through someone; she’s filled with a kind of relief at knowing that Vincent can do that to Theo. Maybe the man isn’t an impenetrable a character after all. “No need to be shy, Theo.”

“I am not,” he insists, finally tearing his gaze away from her and heading to the sink to wash the used chopping board and the knife. “I just don’t want her wearing my stuff.”

She smirks. He is shy. True, she didn’t get the opportunity to think about what she was putting on last night because she was so tired and knocked out by the alcohol, but…if that was the price she had to pay to see this side of Theo she doesn’t have the opportunity to witness often, then it was worth it. Oh, the ever put-together Theo, brought to his knees by only one person in the world, the one he trusts the most: his brother.  “Is it because your personality is contagious?” she teases, “wouldn’t want to catch that.”

He answers her with a glare. “Reverse. It’s your stupidity that’s contagious.”

“Oh, we’re pretty much equally as stupid, Theo. No need to worry.”

“We are not,” he says, and then Vincent elbows him carefully.

“You really should be a little gentler to your friends,” Vincent comments, as he turns the fillet onto its other side.

Theo grumbles something unintelligible and it makes her laugh. Sitting in the kitchen, watching the two brothers side by side with their back to her as they prepare—she checks the clock—lunch for the three of them, she hums, content. She’s lived alone for all her life here in the campus, and it was one she looked forward to after living in a house crammed with people for most of her life. But sitting here, watching them share the chores and maybe have a little banter with each other—makes her reconsider that maybe, maybe settling down in even the worst of places isn’t that horrible when you’re in good company.

Theo opens the plate cupboard and hands her a set of it with some cutlery. “Set the table at least, freeloader?” He says, though his voice lacks all the venom his words otherwise had.

Okay, she’ll have to reconsider if Theo counts as “good company.”

--

Theo barely survives lunch with her and his brother because of how much he gets teased by the two. He might argue that this is worse than being stuck with her and Arthur because since it is Vincent, he does not get the leeway to have a comeback, only able to grumble in displeasure at being see-through. They stuff their bellies not only with Vincent’s famed chicken with herbs but also with a hefty amount of laughter.

She slides back (slightly disgusted) into her costume to walk back home in, confident that many other students will be trudging along the streets suffering the same fate. (“Not everyone wakes up as late as you.” “There’s bound to be at least one, right?”) When she comes out of the bathroom, there’s a book on top of his neatly-folded clothes.

They speak at the same time.

“I could wash these first before giving it back if you—” “You had that with you all this time?”

Silence.

She breaks it with a laugh. “Yeah, it was a Saturday. I didn’t want to break the schedule.”

“You get so thorough about the weirdest things,” he comments, but he takes the bundle in her arms anyway. “It’s alright, I’ll have them. Let me get you a book, too.”

She follows Theo into the studio, where he crouches in front of some bookshelves. Vincent peeps from behind his easel. “You should walk her home,” he offers, as Theo pulls a few books out of the shelf.

“No, it’s alright, I’ll be fine! I’m not drunk or dizzy. The walk will help clear my head.”

“It’s twenty minutes out,” Theo points out, getting up.

“Just promise that if you find me asleep on the street you’ll pick me up?”

Handing Murakami’s Dance, Dance, Dance to her, Theo grins. “I can’t promise that.”

“Oh, Theo, you know you will.”

Even when she is long out of his sight, the smile on his face does not go away. Even as the day shifts into mundanity. Even as he’s carting a bagful of clothes to the launderette. Even as he picks up some groceries on the way home. Even as he prepares dinner for Vincent, who is a few hours deep into painting.

Maybe for a moment, it goes away, but—

He thinks of her and the smile comes back full force.

--

She spends the rest of Sunday recovering and hiding away in her room after the very socially draining party, but by Monday she’s hopped onto her bike and headed for the literature club’s little gazebo. She’s left a message for Dazai, asking for company. Sure, they spent quite a lot of time together in the past week, after having jumped through thrift stores and boutiques for the perfect Night Circus costume (and yes, she made him read the book beforehand too, for good measure) but Saturday was quite a day. She’s brought a couple of cookies for sharing with him, sitting at their usual spot, looking out at the quadrangle next to it.

“Toshiko-san! Sorry we kept you waiting!”

The plural takes her off guard, and she turns to find that Dazai has brought a rather distracted-looking Isaac along, his hands in the pockets of his slacks. Isaac is always dressed so well—she supposes it’s part of the uniform or something of being seen as a respectable professor—but she sure does want to see him dress down once. T-shirt, shorts, that kind—Isaac seems to take everything too seriously.

The pleasant feeling of seeing a friend she hasn’t met up with in a long time is quickly replaced by confusion, as the science complex is nowhere near the Arts building. “Nice to see you here, Isaac,” she says, but also with the lilt of a question.

Dazai answers said question. “He’s here because he has nothing better to do, so I asked him to come.”

Isaac makes a face that’s both resignation and panic. “He passed by my office.” –and dragged me out because he wouldn’t take no for an answer, she finishes in her head.

“I see,” she answers, even though that’s not really an explanation in itself.

She knows Isaac through Dazai, and Dazai knows Isaac through a very peculiar class: Occultism 101.

A class team-taught by three major colleges in the university—the College of Arts, the College of Science, and the College of Social Sciences—Occultism 101 is one of the more controversial classes on campus because of its nature. It goes through a long history of the evolution and persistence of supernatural beliefs and practices among nations in the world, in that nice gray area between religion and science. There are only two kinds of students in Occultism 101: those who believe and who are genuinely interested, and those who do not believe and would like to spend an entire semester saying “bah! That’s not true!” to themselves all the time.

Occultism 101 is typically taught by professors from the College of Social Sciences and College of Arts with backgrounds in religious practices and other mystical behavior (whether in history or art), and then occasionally, in the middle of the semester, guest lecturers from the College of Science come in to give lectures on how these “supernatural events” may be explainable through scientific means. Say, how the piping system in a building can cause haunted “cold spots”, or how floating dust particles can come up in a photograph as “orbs”, or the likes.

And she doesn’t want to be very stereotypical about it, but a lot of people in the College of Science are pretty… well, square, and so no one really wants to teach Occultism 101, even if it’s only a few meetings in a semester. This is how this job ends up to unwilling, no-choice Ph.D. students such as Isaac.

It was just his luck that Dazai was in the section he taught.

“So, Osamu, care to tell us about your little date last Sunday?” she asks, as the other two have taken their seats across her. Dazai swoons a little at the mention of Sunday. Isaac looks at him with unsureness.

(Isaac has had the miserable experience of being the victim of Dazai’s flirtation at some point in time. One can see how that has instead simmer into a rather tentative friendship. All is well.)

Dazai rests his elbows on the table and places his chin on the palms of his hands. “He’s so dreamy.”

“No he isn’t,” she swiftly replies, without thought.

But Dazai pretends not to have heard it. “He’s not looking for a serious relationship though,” he adds. “Not that I am, either.”

“You aren’t?”

“No, sweetie,” Dazai explains. “But he’s my type and I’m his type and we couldn’t just leave it at that so I have his number now, and a little… arrangement.”

The word hangs in between them, swaying.

Oh no, that’s not any good. “What arrangement.”

“You don’t need to sound so concerned.”

“This is Arthur we’re talking about,” she insists, and the name makes Isaac flinch a little.

“Doyle, the med student?” Isaac asks, and she turns to him, blinking.

“You know him?” Remembering Arthur during the party, her mouth falls into a small o. “He knows you too, doesn’t he?”

Isaac scoffs. “Who in this university doesn’t?” Arthur’s pretty well-known to be a flirt. Something like having a checklist of bedding at least one person in every department—a rumor that would have been a little more shameful if the rumors also didn’t say how he was so good at it.

She nods. “Well, fair enough.”

“No, no, he’s an absolute sweetheart to me, so it’s definitely a you problem,” Dazai insists. “It’s just a friendship with benefits, yanno?” He emphasizes every of the following syllables with his tone and his hands: “Nice, big, hefty benefits.”

And even Isaac, who usually refrains from commenting no matter how much he has to say, has to quip with “Terrible choice, really.”

And she has to agree. “I respect you, but not your taste, Osamu.”

Dazai grins. “Understandable.” He picks up one of the sandwiches she’s prepared. “You make it sound like I’m the only one making bad decisions though.”

“Excuse me?”

He turns to Isaac. “You should have gone to the Halloween party. She brought her little boy toy.”

She scoffs. “He is not my boy toy.”

“You sure do have him around your finger though, getting in matching costumes and all that,” Dazai says. “Spends Saturdates with him all the time.”

The only strategy that will work in times like these is straight-up ignoring him. “Anyway—” she begins, about to steer the conversation away when Isaac speaks up.

“It’s nice to hear you’re getting close to other people,” he says softly. Isaac has a way of speaking that makes it always seem like he’s spent so much time thinking about what he said before he actually said it; so sometimes it’s hard to gauge if he’s saying it casually or entirely seriously.

So she blinks. “You make it seem like I have no friends, Isaac.”

“I-It’s not that!” he suddenly blurts. Ah, there. There’s the usual Isaac. “You’ve spent so much time focusing on your work lately, it’s nice to know you’re relaxing with other people sometimes.”

And he doesn’t say it, but she sure does hear it: the you haven’t been to the astronomy club in a while and it’s made me worried about you.

She doesn’t go religiously, but she used to attend fairly often to hang out with the other members and just look up at the stars. Isaac tries to organize at least two sessions in a month, one to look at the moon, and another to point at the stars. She hasn’t been able to catch them in a bit.

But then, slowly, as the image of the view outside the astronomy club’s hangout is refreshed in her mind, the way the physics building rooftop is just high enough to provide a good view of the rest of the campus below, the city downtown, just at the right place on campus that at night, the rest of the sprawling town’s streetlights trickle out like golden LED veins through the threes—an idea begins to implant itself into her head.

Taking root immediately.

She likes to go up here to think. She really shouldn’t have had permission to go up there on her own, in her free time, since they have rules about club hours and the likes, but Isaac is a close friend and gave her a spare key, so she can come and go as she pleases. And sure, the Grove is a nice, quiet place for book clubs and maybe doing homework if one doesn’t need an electric socket, but up here in the astronomy club’s “the Rooftop”, she feels like she can float away into the vast ocean of her thoughts and get lost in them for a moment.

She feels small up there. And that’s a good feeling.

She won’t tell it to Isaac’s face but it’s one of the primary reasons why she applied for the astronomy club in the first place. The stars are great no matter how dumb she is at physics, but the view—it’s really something else.

What does the world look like from the point of view of a star? How tiny are human lives in the vast expanse of the universe? How long have these stars been out there, how long will they stay out there, how much longer will they stay in this universe more than we will?

…This is why Theo teases her for being a literature major: all these goddamn metaphors.

And for a split second, she thinks…

Maybe it isn’t that bad to share that same quiet space with him?

…You know, to talk books.

“About that…”

Isaac and Dazai turn to her.

“Mind if I sneak in an outsider to the Roof?” she asks, facing Isaac with genuine hope in her voice.

Isaac only shrugs. “Do as you please,” he says casually, taking a cookie from her little box on the table.

And she grins like he’d just given her the light of the world. “Thank you, Isaac.”

Dazai shakes his head, because he knows she’s got no denying herself out of this one the next time.