#it just wouldnt happen. he would not want to do that actually

[toomuchgas10]

concerning a specific incident.

I don't know how to do that. I don't want to do that. I didn't know he could do that. or maybe i did at the time but i forgot. or maybe he can get somebody else to do that. or you did. I had to put up with my own all my life too. hopelesly how some wouldnt notice it. using you. my mom hates the Hold it Bob we can see your wrist-watch aw dang it. Wanna know what hurts the most? Him throwing away everything I ever talked about like it never happened treating me like im crazy being throw inot the hospital because i wouldn't stop arguing about ideas i didnt get to slightly participate in when it could have made a difference. maybe I would have finished school long ago. but instead im a nuance because im taking too long to get my shit together even though hes the one with the paintbrush gun getting me all fucked up and im just suppose to be all vulvan like and not be bothered by anything. thats like telling you the same exact thing. im suppose to be ok with it. im not allowed to complain about it. "faith" is just a weapon to trick somebody and its unacceptable. its not good enough. there are better ways to go about that. im suppose to pretend to be happy with his system pf [erfectionism or nothing. I incriminated myself to appear i looked powerful and by coicidence it was someone else. so if your saying im agetting a taste of my own medicine your wrong. its just the same old thing ive had to put up with.i get it you think im weird. i pushed you away because i was convinced it was inevitable youd betray me just because you could. worst part is you cant even see the pricks and forks they stick into me and its 3d 360 thorns everywhere. was. its not as bad now.

like the crossbow and the toilet. its not you. its a memory of mine. and the bs associated with that drama is fiction. its actually mundane. probably a "totem" for something.

i get it monkey ball gravity is bs. ok....then stop.

im sorry you got pricked im sorry you got hurt but i know there are things your not telling me. but you know what. no one is ever sorry for how they treat me.

“When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don’t get to decide that you didn’t.”

— Louis C.K.

[demonicelovator]

Okay so this is a bit dark, and I’m kinda hesitant to post it, but when the finale episodes were first coming out me and me friend talked about what would happen if Chase and everyone except for Buddy died and I came up with a sort of Ghost Chase au. I don’t have the motivation to do anything else with this idea but heres a drawing and little story based around it.

The story’s below the cut

....

He's dead.

Theyre all dead. Theyre dead and noone else cares except for me.

Its their own fauly. Chase shouldve just handed over his key when he could, if he had he could be living a normal life.

…

If he did buddy wouldnt have gotten attached. So attached that hes sat in his poor excuse for a room, desperatly trying to keep himself from crying so loud that he alerts the members of ex libris that hes back, getting comfort from his key of all things, and mourning the loss of the boy who onve inhabited the corpse currently slumped against him.

Buddy was pathetic, he shouldn’t have let it get to this point. He should have just gotten the heroine key and done his job before chase could find new keys, before Deacon and Prunella could start completing stories as well, before Buddy got close enough to Chase for him to feel a need to apologize to buddy, before they got trapped in a book that was being ruined somewhere in the real world, before Prunella and Deacon died, before Chase died, before-

“Hey!” Shouted violet, shaking him from his spiral of thoughts “Are you even listening to me? You need to pay better attention when people speak to you ***** the members won’t be happy with you if you space out like this in conversation!”

“R-right sorry..” it was hard to not sink into his own mind right now.

Violet huffed, changing to look a bit more sympathetic. “I understand that this is a lot for you, and that you want to greive the loss of this… boy.. but you need to at least pretend to act the same as usual! If they catch onto you…”

“I won’t let that happen”buddy whispered

“Good. Now you need to wipe those tears and make yourself presentable alright?” Violet put her hands on her hips, looking very stern. “You are going to go to ex libris, and say that the keyholders got trapped in a damaged book, rendering their keys useless, and you will turn me in to them. Under no circumstances will you mention the corpse in your room. Do you understand?”

“Yes, i understand. Can i just- can i have a moment first?”

“You’ve already had a moment *****!”

“Buddy.”

“What?l

“Call me Buddy.”

“Goodness, fine, just don’t ask the members to call you tha-“ Violet paused as Buddy pushed the miniature letter Chase gave him towards her. “What? What is this?”

“It’s a letter, for you.. Chase gave it to me, said it was from silver.”

“Oh.. Thank you.. Buddy.”

“You’re welcome, take your time.” Buddy began to lean against the bed frame, hands falling onto his lap. “Once your done I’ll get ready”

“Alright..” whispered violet, she seemed lost in her own world, absorbed by the small envelope she’d been given.

Buddy tilted his head back, resting it on his bed and staring up at the ceiling. He felt numb.

As Buddy was beginning to space out, he heard a voice whispering to him. Turning his head to try to find the source of the voice, he noticed a familiar face. Buddy jumped forward spinning around to look at the face.

“W- what the hell…” buddy whispered

“Wait! Hang on you can actually see me?” Chase said as he floated out from behind the bed, moving to float just over the edge. “Woah, thats awesome Buddy!”

“You- You’re supposed to be dead!”

“I am dead, thats literally my corpse right there dude.” He pointed as he began to sit.

“But- Chase, how can you be-“

“Ever heard of ghosts?”

“Buddy!” Violet interrupted “who are you talking to!?”

“Wh- you cant see him?”

“See who? Whatever, I’ve finished reading my letter, thank you for delivering it by the way, you need to get ready to meet with ex libris.”

“Yeah Buddy! Quit procrastinating and do your job!” Teased the ghost

“Leave me alone, you didn’t just cry for almost half an hour” Buddy mumbled as he walked towards the bathroom.

“Fair enough”

Buddy couldn’t understand how he could be so calm about this.

[peanutheaddd]

For divine au, once Petey has left dm’s body and seen the damage possessing him has caused is he afraid that he’s accidentally killed him at first? Is he afraid that dm won’t wake up? Fellas is it gay to stay by the bedside of the man you possessed and formed a soul bond with while you wait for him to wake up? I imagine that Petey would be very protective of dm for a while after while he’s recovering and would help him tend to his injuries

ur au’s are so good Peanutheaddd they make me so crazy please don’t explode and disappear lmao

AAAAAABSOLKUUUUTTEEELYYYYYYY THANK U FOR THIS ASK YES YES YES A MIIIIOKIM TIME YES!!!!!!!!!!! ohhh my god post possession detey save me save me post possession detey

he knows abt the soul going dormant and the comatose state Yes but he has No idea if dms body can handle all the physical damage he took . and he feels So So So guilty . he is 100% terrified that hes accidentally killed him . and he has no way to tell . yes his heart is still beating but he has No idea if it will Keep beating .

in my head the possession actually ends prematurely . i think dms body Couldnt keep going . like it physically broke down and petey was like wtf happened so he left his body . so theyre lwk still in hot water when the possession ends and petey sees how fucked up he got . so its just thjs shit ass situation where lp is Still at active risk of getting taken by heaven, dm is completely out of commission and they have No idea if hell even Survive the next hour, and peteys lwk spiraling bc this is quite literally the Worst thing that could happen

its important to note here that petey actually doesnt believe that god is alive . he fully believes god has Been dead for a while . i think graces death made him completely apathetic bc he had this mindset of if god was alive then she wouldnt have died .

but its This moment . where hes terrified bc he has no idea what theyll do to his son and he has no idea if dm will live or die . that he prays for the first time in. Forever. and the Only thing hes praying for is lp and dms safety . zero regard for his own safety . and ultimately Thats what wakes god up . love that makes even the worst sinner not only Have Faith again but pray for something in an Entirely sefless manner . Oh my god im sick.IM SICK IN THE HEAD BRO

i dont have the deets yet but essentially god is the one who ends the altercation . but once it ends petey Stil has no idea if dm will live or die . basically the end of the altercation only guarantees that lp will be safe . since it only happened in the first place to try and take him away . so once the altercation ends yes hes So So So relieved lp is safe and will be safe but he cant say the same abt dm and thats freaking him out .

i think he js hauls ass to the church and gets dm to his room . and he just . sits there . doesnt rlly move . and he js keeps watching him . for however long it takes for dm to wake up again .

i actually think the church people and lp tend to him while hes in his comatose state not petey . i feel like petey wouldnt wanna touch him bc of The Guilt. like Hes the reason hes like this so how could ge even think of laying a finger on him .

i also think petey leaves before dm wakes up . like . its js this idea of like Oh theres No Way hed be happy to see me not after what i did to him . so when dm wakes up lp is there and dm is like oh thank god ur ok. bc that means the possession was successful and the altercation ended in their favor but then hes like ?? wheres ur dad . and lp is like 😬😬. bc lp knows damn well this is peteys self sabotaging behavior coming out . and he tells dm this and dm is like holy fuck is that cat stupid bc literally all he wanted after he woke up was to see his kitty cats plural 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔

i reckon he gets up to try and find him (which is stupid bc he could be Literally anywhere) and peteys lit js camping outside the church where hes out of eyesight but he can still kinda keep an eye on him and js be around should anything happen .

i mentioend in a prev ask that demons can feel their vessels pain and i thinm pt gets like a body ache and hes like That cant be right. so he looks around and lo and behold he sees dm meandering about outside when he Should be resting and he Knows that hes not fully recovered yet bc he can literally feel how it hurts for him to even walk . so without rlly thinking he immediately confronts him and is like WHAT THE FUCK . GO BACK TO BED BRO and dms response to that is to hug him . and he can feel his heart beat . feel the strength in his arms. and hes like Oh my god. and the relief js completely floods his system . like Oh hes alive . hes well . hes still in one piece .

but theres still this Guilt thats making it impossible for him to let his guard down . the hug goes unreciprocated even tho its lwk all he wants to do at that moment and he goes kinda stiff bc he is So terrified of hurting him again . its so palpable dm can Sense it . all the guilt and the fear . so hes like js stay with me will u ? like damn . 😭😭😭 and at this point peteys lwk weak to him so hes like Okay . I guess .

and then i reckon its js petey awkwardly hovering around the room keeping an eye on dm like a nervous mom and dm having to gradually go pspsps to him and get him to stop being freaked out all the damn time

there is def a scene where dm insists that petey helps him with changing his bandages or smth bc hes trynna ease him back into just . remembering that dms not made of glass and remembering that hes not an inherently dangerous person . and that he fully has the capacity to be gentle . i reckon seeing the injuries kinda makes dms plan backfire bc peteys like Ohhh my god this is literally my fucking fault

seeeeemi unrelated but i think pt also starts subconsciously keeping his wings away from dm which sucks for dm bc he likes peteys wings LMFAO when hes not adrenaline pumped theyre kinda js pleasantly warm

its just this whole sich post possession where dm almost dies and petey starts seeing himself as inherently a dangerous person . even tho their relationship up until this point has been implicitly amicable But more explicitly kinda hostile and antagonistic (enemies to lovers L) dm has to kind of put that aside and be gentler w him js to remind him that he still cares abt him and that he did the right thing and that hes fine and he will be fine . so its js them kinda spending day to day w lp doing whatever . DOMESTICITY WIN!!!!!!!!!! YEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

and i think thats where my thought process ends for now . #motherfuckign awesome I LOVE MY AU

[akechigoroactual]

i feel like a lotta zolu shippers i see have a fatal misunderstanding not in the part where zoro would do anything for luffy including suck his dick and whatever else he Would absolutely do that! of course he would. but luffy is just not possessive at all even if he fixated on zoro specifically he doesn't take to that tenet of romance. he's freedom boy he wants everyone to be free. he is not interested in ownership

[lgbtlunaverse]

So I've said multipe times now (here and here) that thinking nmj is just so blinded by privilege he doesn't undertand that acting out of line gets people killed is, in my opinion, a misunderstanding of his character that ignores the part where he's, you know, actively dying the whole time and thinks that's a good thing. But that doesn't mean I don't think privilege plays no role at all in how he views the world.

Specifically, his view that death (at least premature or violent death) means something.

Death isn't always a tragedy to NMJ, but it is always meaningful. If you kill an evil dangerous person for your righteous cause, that death had meaning. There was evil in the world and now there is less of it. Similarly, if you die in the pursuit of your righteous cause, that death has meaning, because the sheer dedication you gave to it that you were willing to die for it will further that cause, and your bretheren will be invigorated by your sacrifice to fight even harder.

If a death isn't meaningful, that's an injustice and it is up to the living to give it meaning. That's what cuts so deep about his father's murder. There were no consequences, no changes, no meaning. Wen Ruohan was just going to get away with it! He fights and wins an entire war to make it mean something, to make it so that the unjust murder of Nie Mingjue's father is part of Wen Ruohan's downfall.

But this is a view he can only hold because he's the kind of person who's death will be meaningful. Most ordinary people's deaths are meaningless. Not ontologically, not inherently, but they are made meaningless because no one cares. For death to be meaningful you either have to be so powerful that anything you risk your life for will be impacted in some way. (Like, say, if you sacrifice a long life for immense martial power in a faustian bargain with a blade) Or if people with that kind of power care enough about you to do so for you. For most people, this isn't true. A starving street kid has no power to change the unfair world that put them there, even if they risk their life trying, and no one will do it for them once they die.

Nie Mingjue knows this in abstract, and of course rightfully believes it's wrong. But all that does is make it yet another righteous cause people should be willing to die for. Everyone's deaths should mean something, we'll make it so or die trying!

This is what the conflict between nieyao is about at its core. Because Jin Guangyao, fundamentally, cannot conceive of his own death as meaningful. Nie Mingjue grew up around powerful men who could change the world but refuse to do so because god forbid they risk a single hair on their perfect heads. Meng Yao, on the other hand, grew up in an environment where no one of importance would blink twice if you died. He was surrounded by meaningless death. Indeed his entire early life is defined by that lack of care.

Meng Shi dies and no one cares. Meng Yao gets thrown off a flight off stairs and no one cares. He has to be the one to do the caring, and once he's gone no one else will do it for him.

So he has to live.

Jin Guangyao eventually gets far enough that he actually does aquire the power to change some things... as long as he's alive. If he changes too much, holds on too tightly to his ideals, he'll die and it'll all be for nothing. He can't sacrifice himself for his goals because doing so would immediately render those goals unobtainable. No one will care about what he tried to do. He won't be a heroic sacrifice, he'll just be trash that finally cleaned itself up.

And well... Nie Mingjue dies, and someone makes it mean something. Makes it mean so much that the entire story of mdzs would not exist without it. Jin Guangyao dies and it doesn't mean anything. Most people are glad to be rid of him, and the few that are not don't do anything to change that.

[jackass-jones]

God every day I think about Akane’s breakdown in door 3 because there really is no correct way to interpret that and every possibility makes me crazy. Like she sees this fucked up corpse whom Junpei (and the player, depending on how they play) believes is their friend Snake, but she knows that it’s Guy X. It’s a man she very intentionally put in the game for this very purpose, so that he could die horrifically and be displayed for everyone to see. And she has a full mental breakdown over being trapped in this room with the corpse, being trapped by Junpei, to the point where she rips out her hair and starts bleeding from how much she bangs on the door screaming to get out. And fuck, there’s so many possibilities like

Akane could be feeling genuine terror over the sight of the body, and with that remorse. She made this happen, she wanted this to happen, and now she’s forced to quite literally watch the damage she’s caused unfold. She can detach herself from his murder easily in other timelines where she doesn’t have to look at it, and she can sleep easy knowing that her hands are technically clean because she didn’t do the literal killing. But she can’t do that here, and she has to face the fact that not only did she happily cause this death, she failed her mission. She isn’t going to survive, and now this man is dead for nothing and everything is her fault

On the other hand, her entire breakdown could be completely fabricated in order to keep playing the role of the damsel in distress who is so innocent that the very sight of blood drives her to insanity. The interesting part about this is that if she could fake such a horrific breakdown, just how much of her personality a facade? We know she wants revenge, for everyone from Cradle to feel even an ounce of the pain she and so many others went through, but we don’t get to see the extent of how much she feels this way. We never hear directly from Akane about her feelings on any of the original organizers, just her note about her desire to punish them. She hates them, but does she see their deaths as a necessary evil, or does she feel joy and satisfaction at watching them go? It’s absolutely horrifying not knowing, not being able to see her true feelings, not knowing just how real or fake she is, the extent of her madness. Perhaps she doesn’t even know that herself

IN OTHER WORDS, it’s fucked

[maliciousalice]

Hear me out (or don't... it's fine I'm just venting and mean) yeah um I don't believe Chakotay was saved in Prod*gy s2.

[5hrignold]

awful. beyond redemption. i will stare at it for days

[fadeoutstreet]

jared and jensen say stuff abt sam and dean that me in my most delusional day wouldnt think

[kuwupikaa]

Bro really got rid of the ear devil😭😭

[cutemeat]

Why do people not want Rob in the writers room this up coming season?

idk i just think rob needs to take a step back from the writing sunny for a little while Lol... in the same way Glenn needed a break from it for a bit yknow

[orcelito]

Did driving practice today. Actually did parallel parking practice this time, even tho I really didn't want to still. Finally got it into my head that I can maybe do this.

SO......

I have scheduled my driving test. For November 13th, 3 weeks from today.

[spaceandbones]

Reading a killugon slowburn and halfway through the author drops this bomb on me that killua isnt monogamous like fucking say sike RIGHT MEOW. RIGHT MEOW PLEASE 😭😭😭✋️✋️

[leori-the-unlearned]

the way digimon does conflict/drama between two characters who should be or are close: chef’s kiss <3

the way sonic idw handles creating conflict/drama between two characters who should be or are close: *wilting flower*

[autism-corner]

i dont want it to have a good end btw

[robingivesmemagic]

do you guys think cash tankinson liked men