#it just makes me so upset that they’re raising their child like that

[vampiricalxdata]

I read part of that interview from the show runners and that one line in particular irked me.

“…you have to make a choice about the enviornment you’re going to raise [the child] in.”

So here's an Alternative plot line to killing Nick:

since apparently that was such a hard and difficult thing to do

Scene 1: Nick and Rose have a conversation about handmaids. He doesn’t like them. She's not sure about it either but is resigned to the idea that it’s a necessary evil for now.

Scene 2: Nick and Rose have debates about the right way to raise a child. He wonders if wife school is fair. She says she’s grateful they’re having a son so they won’t have to think about it.

Scene 3: Rose has the baby and Nick falls asleep by the crib every night. Rose says he’s too attached, worries it will make their son too sensitive. She worries how it will look.

Scene 4: Nick goes to a Gilead function. He observes, as he always does. But this time with a new perspective. It was easier to ignore them before. He was never interested in the way they talked about the wives or the handmaids or the marthas or the girls at Jezebels. He never cared for the way they talked about the drivers or the econopeople. He worries if his son will be influenced. He worries if his son will be like Bell. He wonders if he should loudly criticize these men.

Scene 5: He brings up these thoughts to Rose. She dismisses him and says her father is not like those other men. He is good and virtuous. Nick grimaces out of eyeshot. He knows this is not true. He’s seen Wharton’s control and quiet violence.

Scene 6: Rose and Nick are at the Mackenzies for dinner. Hannah is home for the holiday. Her hand is tightly bandaged. Rose comments and Hannah says she burned herself. Nick tries to smile at her and say accidents happen. Hannah excuses herself to her room clearly upset. Mrs. Mackenzie says they caught her writing her name. Her old name. They don't mention June. The silence is deafening. Rose says it’s good the school has such high standards. The Mackenzies agree. Nick stays silent.

Scene 7: Later that night, Nick has just put down their son. He goes to Rose and asks to talk with her. He brings up pre Gilead. Says he misses the movies and parks. She whispers that she misses the library, as if they could be overheard. He says it’s unfair that the girls cannot write their own names, let alone read. Rose says it’s one of the harder sacrifices. Nick asks her opinion on leaving. She says it's impossible. Nick says he’s worried about raising his son here. He tells her he’s afraid of who his son will become if he grows up here. He tells her about Bell and the other commanders, what they do. She tells him it's treason to talk like this. “What will you do?” He asks her. “Will you turn me in? What will happen to you if I’m dead? A fertile woman in Gilead? You’d have a sacred duty to become a handmaid. Even your father couldn’t argue against that.” She becomes angry with him and locks him out of their bedroom. Nick falls asleep by his son’s crib again.

Scene 8: Some time has passed. Their martha asks to speak to him. She tells him that Rose has talked to her about leaving Gilead. Apparently, Wharton and Rose got into an argument about the legitimacy of women not reading. Nick is surprised and tells the martha she could come with them. She promises to work on Rose.

Scene 9: Rose has agreed to leave but it is a tentative agreement. He reaches out to Tuello. Tuello and Nick come up with a plan that will allow mayday access to Gilead through his home. Rose is hesitant but Nick gives her a gift. It’s her favorite book. He tells her to read and think on it. He sees her the next day at breakfast, grinning as she reads. A week later she agrees.

Scene 10: The plan Nick and Tuello came up with will allow them to embed operatives into the Boston area. Over the next several months Nick collects information, blueprints, maps, plans, etc. and hands it over to Tuello. While Wharton is in DC, Mayday gets Rose, the baby, and the martha to the border. Once confirmed, Nick and another mayday operative stage a gas leak blowing up his house, along with other major locations in the area. Gilead believes the family is dead. Nick escapes to the border.

Scene 11: Nick, Rose, and baby are living in a safe house in Canada. Rose keeps flirting with Tuello because duh. Tuello is flirting back. Every time Nick catches them, Rose makes jokes about divorce and Tuello makes a joke about June. Nick is relieved.

Scene 12: Nick wonders if he’ll ever get to see baby Blaine play with Holly. There’s a knock at the door. Tuello is there with supplies. He also brought June, Rita, Moira, and Holly. There’s also pizza. The adults make plans to bring down Gilead while Holly shares her doll with baby Blaine. Nick ugly cries. The end.

[louisgayvodka]

-

[womanofwords]

Next is batfam x neglected clone reader superfam.

Back when Dick was Robin he and Bruce broke into a lab and in it was a clone of Batman and Superman (trying to make the ultimate hero). It was only a toddler then and they couldn’t let it stay to be turned into a weapon so they took it home.

They called Clark to let him know and yeah he has his reservations about clones of him. But this one’s still only just a toddler a little mix of him and Bruce. He’s ready to just take the child home but Bruce convinces him not to. That he has better resources and (at this point Clark and Lois aren’t together yet) Clark is always busy between reporting and hero work.

So Clark leaves raising them to Bruce but visits as much as he can. But he visits less and less as he gets busier trusting Bruce to care for their child. But in that time Dick left (not really liking that this sibling got to be a mix of his adoptive father and pseudo dad) Jason came and eventually died and Bruce began to wallow in his grief.

Little SuperBat loved their family and tried to cheer Bruce up but he gets angry that they seem to not care that Jason is gone (they care, a lot. But they’re putting their grief on hold to try and cheer up their dad). This is when the neglect really starts.

Of course Tim joins, Jason returns and all the other batkids follow. But they’re all following Bruce’s lead and the only ones who (should) remember that they’re a clone are Bruce, Dick and Jason (Tim was smart and discovered it on his own at some point in time). It’s when Damien attacks them and they try defending themself that they punch Damien (not even that hard) and Bruce pops off on them for “attacking him”. That they’re wrong cause they “could have killed him” with their “super strength” thus revealing their a clone.

Only Bruce doesn’t know they have super strength because they never showed signs of Clark’s abilities. He tested for a while when they were younger but stopped. They went through gaining and navigating their powers alone (afraid of Bruce’s no meta’s rule).

“But why not go to Clark?” well because Bruce is a control freak who during him yelling at them after Jason’s death, denies them going to visit Clark since (I believe that) Clark and Lois would (or could) have either just gotten married or had Jon on the way. Bruce basically projecting that they’re starting their own family and wouldn’t want a clone.

Angst all around as clone!reader is basically bullied by the entire family. Especially Damien who loves to tout about how he’s the only natural born child of Bruce not a “cheap failed experiment”.

Reader quietly leaves wanting to be alone goes to Mt.Everest. Meets Papa Clark again cause he thought someone was stuck crying on Everest and needed rescuing. Turns out it’s his baby and they’re crying in pajamas on the world’s tallest mountain. Listens to their woes and is furious. He asks why they didn’t come to him and they repeat all the things Bruce and the fam would tell them. How they’d risk exposing him cause they look so much like him and Bruce, how he was starting his own family and they would get in the way.

Clark is furious, but his baby needs him first. Takes them to meet Lois, Jon, Conner and his parents. They all adore clone reader. Lois and Martha Kent are upset that Clark never told them but even more mad Bruce said the things he did to keep clone reader home. Especially since she missed her own father’s wedding and the birth of her brother.

Some way some how the batfam discover clone reader is missing (choose however you want. personally my bet is Damien torments them when he’s bored and discovers their gone because of it). It takes them a while but discovers she’s with Superfam. Cue crazy yandere custody battle in costume and out of it

Great idea, but no thanks. Way too angsty for me. There are so many times I can make myself cry while writing, and I know I will be floating out of my house on a river of my own tears if I ever wrote this. I'm passing on this for the sake of my own sanity.

[no-144444]

family issues-l.norris (no.4)

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pairing: lando norris (no.4) x fem! sky presenter! reader

summary: lando (and his mum) are there for you during a difficult time.

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P1. Pole position. Incredible. 

“Well done,” you smiled, hugging him close as he entered his driver’s room. “You did really well.”

You could feel his smile against your neck. “Thanks baby.”

You stayed there like that for a moment, just holding each other, then he pulled back with a big smile on his face. “OH! My mum is here, you can finally meet her!”

A part of your heart sank, and another part lifted. You’d met a good portion of his family and they were all lovely. It’s just that every time you met a part of his family, he wanted to meet a part of your family. You’d been dating for a year now, and up until 2 months ago, yeah, he could’ve met your family. But then… they decided to go no-contact with you. They just told you not to call or visit anymore. You weren’t their daughter anymore. Whatever, that was fine. Your parents were emotionally unavailable due to your sister’s mental health issues, and your sister didn’t treat you well at all. You were the glass child. 2 months ago you’d gone to dinner with them and your sister brought up all your ‘happy memories’, but all of them were moments without you, or moments where you were the joke. You’d gotten upset at them, and apparently that was all they needed to kick you out of the family. So much for love. So much for blood. Lando couldn’t make it to that dinner, and he was so upset that he couldn’t. He was worried your parents thought he wasn’t serious, or that he was dodging meeting them, but you told him not to worry, that they’d meet ‘another time’. Now, you were out of chances. You didn't tell Lando about the fight or everything that came after, he’d been struggling enough with his own mental health without you having to burden him with yours. So, you just swallowed it and told yourself you’d tell him over the summer shutdown. Then, Lando was having so much fun that you didn’t want to ruin it, so you decided you’d tell him after Singapore. Probably. Maybe. 

“Awesome!” you smiled. Even you could tell you didn’t sound right, too pitchy, too awkward, too surprised. 

He raised an eyebrow. “You alright?”

“Fine,” you nodded. “Where is she? I want to meet her.” 

He nodded, still sceptical but obliged you and led you to his mother. Cisca was warm and welcoming, funny and kind, and just a good person. You saw so much of her in Lando. He was beaming as he watched you two interact, so happy that two of the most important people in his life got along. You spent the whole afternoon together as Lando went on with his duties, chatting about your lives, sharing stories about Lando and yourselves, you even got to see some embarrassing baby photos of Lando.

“So what about your parents? Do they ever come to the races?” She asked, a big smile on her face. 

“Well, no actually. We don’t talk much,” you chuckled. 

She raised an eyebrow, the same way Lando does. “Really? Lan told me that you were quite close with them?”

You sighed. “Can I tell you something? And you can’t tell Lan.”

She nodded and took your hand. “Of course.”

“2 months ago my parents disowned me. Lan has been begging to meet them and I have no idea what to tell him. I feel awful about it, and I didn’t want to add to his stress so I just keep lying to him telling him they’re busy. I just feel so… guilty,” you admitted. 

She sighed. “You poor girl. It's awful that you have to go through all of that on your own.” 

“Well, it’s not that bad,” you chuckled, trying to lighten the moment.

“It is. And that’s ok. It’s ok to be upset,” she smiled warmly. “I know my son, and he has not shut up about you since he met you as a sky presenter 2 years ago. Lan is a family-oriented person, and he’s just excited to be a part of your family and have you be a part of ours. He’d want to be there for you, the same way you’re there for him.”

You could feel yourself tearing up. You’d never had someone be so kind to you, never had someone treat you like a daughter. “Thank you,” you smiled sadly. 

“And anyways, your parents suck, you can be my daughter now,” she smiled.

And you definitely cried. But, they were happy tears. You’d found your family. 

---------------

After your eye-opening conversation with Cisca, you decided you’d come clean to Lando. As you two entered your room he wrapped his arms around you and kissed your cheek. 

“How was my mum today?” he asked, his voice deep with tiredness, and eyes heavy with sleep. 

“She was amazing, we had a bunch of fun,” you smiled. “Can I talk to you about something?”

He nodded. “‘Course baby.”

“It’s about my family.” 

Lando woke up slightly, sitting on the bed as you stood between his legs. “Alright.”

“2 months ago, after that dinner I went to, they cut contact and disowned me. It was up to my sister why and well, we know how much he hates me. So yeah, I have no family anymore, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I just didn’t want to burden you with it.”

You looked at Lando and his face was a mixture of anger, guilt, and upset. He cleared his throat and his grip around your waist got tighter. “Number one, I’m so sorry that happened to you. That’s fucking shit and your parents don’t deserve you. Number two, you will never ever be a burden to me. Ever. You’re the most important person in my life. I love you Y/n, more than anything. I always want you to come to me about things that are happening and how you feel. Number three, fuck your family, you’re my family, alright?” 

You chuckled sadly, running your fingers through his hair. “Right. Thanks Lan, I love you.”

He smiled. “I love you more.”

“I feel it,” you smiled. He stood up and kissed your cheek. 

“Seriously, I’m here for you, always. Never forget that.”

You pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I know. I won’t.”

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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)

[sttoru]

⠀ 𝝑𝑒 ⠀⠀ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. trying to get your cold boyfriend to crack a smile !

tags. toji fushiguro x female reader. fluff, suggestive at the end. reader gets called ‘girl, doll (face)’

“you should smile some more,” you comment unexpectedly as the television runs in the background. toji raises an eyebrow, amused yet curious at the way you interrupted the peaceful atmosphere.

your sluggish lover looks down at you as you sit up on his lap. his arms loosen up around your waist, though his manly hands don’t leave their favorite spot—your ass. toji gives it a squeeze, huffing at the way you’re blocking his sight with your head, “what ‘re ya on, girl?”

he figures it’s just you trying to strike up a silly little conversation again, for the sake of entertainment. he tilts his head to the side so he could continue watching the show playing on the big screen.

your hands come to cup his face. your palms are actively being prickled by his stubble, the man not having bothered to shave this morning. not that you’re complaining. you love it when toji leaves that stubble on his face. it gives him a more manly look.

“smileeeee,” you exclaim and use both your index fingers to turn the corners of his mouth upwards. his lips are morphed into an awkward, forced smile that makes you frown.

you secretly hoped that toji would go along with your request, but he doesn’t. that same expressionless face stares right back at you. his ‘smile’ instantly disappears the moment you drop your hands to your sides.

the black-haired man runs his fingers up your waist. and arms. he eventually pinches your cheeks for a second, properly positioning your body so he could watch the television in peace. toji places his chin on your shoulder, half lidded eyes lazily following the people on screen.

“i wanna see you smile again, c’mon,” you whine and try to push toji’s head back, but he stubbornly refuses. he easily overpowers you and pins your wrists down against your sides, nearly crushing you in a ‘hug’.

he takes a deep breath and sniffs your perfume. he places a quick kiss on your throat, thinking it’d pacify you for now.

“i would if y’ could make me laugh, doll,” toji answers in a gruff voice. he falls silent again as he’s too focused on the show playing.

you frown at his comment and can’t help but feel slightly offended. you roll your eyes and push back from toji’s tight embrace, if that’s what you can even call it. you pout and cross your arms over your chest. you stare at him, his green eyes glancing back at you for a second.

seeing you get all sulky because of what’s supposed to have been a lighthearted comment, is adorable. though toji doesn’t say that stuff out loud.

“you’re saying i’m not funny?” you ask. it’s more of a rhetorical question. your partner shrugs and yawns, one hand of his sneakily slipping under your shirt. his meaty fingers glide up to your bra, tracing the outline.

it’s another action of his in attempt to distract your mind from this entire conversation. however, it fails as you swat his hand away. toji clicks his tongue and gently swats you back— resulting into a mini fight between the two of you.

your slaps against his biceps may seem hard to you, but to the bulky man they’re child’s play. it feels like nothing, while you’re trying your best to stand up for yourself. toji’s revenge smacks are light taps against your bum and hands.

he’s clearly not putting in any effort unlike you.

“if that’s how you wanna take it, then yeah, y’ ain’t funny,” toji adds fuel to the fire, amused by how upset you’re getting. he doesn’t mean anything he’s saying; he’s simply interested in your adorable reactions. you look cute—thinking you’re doing something to him while you slap his bicep as response to his sneaky remarks.

you huff and roll your eyes. the little unserious tussle between toji and you continues. “bastard,” you answer and stick your tongue out to him. your lover lets out a puff of air through his nose at your weak attempt of insulting him.

he indulges you again.

“what’ddya say there?” toji questions in a low tone. he easily grips your wrists and flips you over until your back hits the soft sofa. your hands are gathered above your head and his face is close to yours.

that doesn’t stop you from being bratty, however, no matter how intimating toji tries to act. his black bangs brush against your forehead due to the proximity between you both.

“bastaaaaaard, you’re an asshole,” you shamelessly continue, your voice echoing in his ear. the black-haired man stares at you with a blank stare for a couple seconds, letting you blow off some steam.

you don’t know how cute you are right now to him. toji could just eat you up right then and there. having his girl try to act fierce around him is such an endearing sight.

without knowing it, toji’s scarred lips curl up, a faint smile appearing on his face. he doesn’t bother moving or setting your hands free.

“heh, right—i am, aye?” your lover nods and places a chaste kiss against your jawline, biting that same place not a second later. he lifts his head up and stares down at you with that same subtle smile.

you’re a bit shocked by the fact that he actually smiled. you love seeing toji show hints of happiness, which he rarely does. but when he smiles, you know it’s going to be a beautiful sight.

and it sure is now.

you’re too caught up staring at his handsome face to realise that that cherished smile has turned into a teasing grin. toji’s free hand slides up to grab your bottom lip, pulling back and letting go to watch it bounce back in place. his warm breath gently hits your cheek and you feel a shiver run down your spine;

“y’know if y’ want to, i can show ya how much of an asshole i really can be, doll face.”

[rafeandonlyrafe]

little protector

words: 800

warnings: dad!rafe, soft!rafe, pregnancy cw

“daddy, cut that out right now!” your sons voice rings out, making rafe pull away from your mouth.

“what did you say little man?” rafe raises his eyebrows at your son, who is standing at the foot of your bed, hands on his hips and an exaggerated angry expression on his face.

“do not kiss my mommy!” felix argues, crawling onto the bed to push at rafes chest while you giggle, his little hands not doing a single thing.

“but she’s my wife.” rafe says, frowning when you pull felix onto your lap and press a kiss to his cheek.

“and she’s my mommy!” he argues right back. it’s a recent development, felix showing possessiveness over you. it started at the grocery store when a tall man helped reach something off the top shelf, only for felix to kick him in the shin. its only progressed since then.

“you’re gonna have to learn to share, fe.” rafe says with a pointed look, able to move closer now that felix is happy in your arms.

“oh shush, let him enjoy being an only child for a little bit longer.” you whisper, knowing felix only has about six more months until he’s going to have to be sharing you with a new baby brother or sister as well as rafe.

“but i want to kiss you.” rafe pouts as felix ducks his head to snuggle into your chest, little hands gripping at your shirt as rafe loops an arm around your shoulder.

“as soon as he’s asleep.” you stroke your sons back, leaning your head against rafes shoulder, who sneaks a kiss to the top of your head without felix seeing.

“can’t come soon enough.” rafe says, making sure to keep his voice low for the next part. “you are so sexy when you’re pregnant.”

you roll your eyes. you’re barely showing, which is why you decided to wait to tell felix, wanting to make sure everything went well before explaining that he’s about to have a little sibling and that they’re growing in his mamas tummy.

“mommy.” felix whines when he realizes you attention isn’t solely on him.

“what is it my love?” you ask, petting over his hair.

“can i sleep with you tonight?” he asks, blinking up at you with puppy eyes that are so hard for you to say no to.

“but you’ve got your big boy bed!” you remind him. “i can read you a story before you go to sleep though.” “no.” felix complaints, thrashing his body to show his disapproval, but you know its just because he’s tired, having already gotten him ready for bed until rafe distracted you with his kisses. “wanna sleep with you mommy!” “honey, this is mama and daddys bed.” rafe says gently. he never thought his son would give him a run for his money when it comes to parenting, but he severely underestimated the toddler years.

“are you going to kiss again?” felix crinkles up his nose in an expression that is far beyond his years.

rafe sighs, nuzzling into your hair. “i think when you gave birth you transferred all of your sassiness to him.” you let out a laugh, which only upsets felix more.

“fefe, i kiss your daddy all the time. but-” you continue before he can react, “i also give you lots of kisses. i love you both very very much.” “i love you too mama.” felix leans in, puckering his lips out. you accept and press a kiss before smattering more around his face, making him giggle.

“i love you too daddy.” felix says shyly, before holding his hands out for rafe to pull him onto his lap, making you smile. felix has never had an issue with showing rafe affection, it’s just recently come up with not liking to see it between you and rafe, even getting in between the two of you when you cuddle, or pulling your hands apart.

“i love you too felix.” rafe gives your son a kiss before pulling him into a hug, and you have to turn your head to wipe away tears, your hormones already being a little crazy from the baby growing in your tummy.

“can you both read me my bedtime story?” felix asks.

“of course baby.” rafe says as you slide out of the bed, accepting felix as he jumps into your arms for you to carry him. rafe pauses as he watches you, son in your arms, baby growing in your tummy, a glowing smile gracing your face. 

if you would have told rafe that this would be his life when he was a teenager, he would have spat in your face, but then you appeared, changed his life around and gave him a home and a family he never knew he needed.

“you coming?” you ask, felix’s head buried in your shoulder as you pause in the doorway.

“yeah.” rafe nods, having to blink back tears himself. “yeah, i’m coming.”

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[actiniumwrites]

the perfect pair [part two]

synopsis: their reaction to finding out you have a tcg card of them

characters: scaramouche, alhaitham, arlecchino, childe, and kinich x gn!reader (separately)

warnings: mostly fluff with like a pinch of angst in alhaitham’s. i also didn’t proofread these :(

notes: part one got so much love and so many of you asked me to make a part two with more characters so here you guys go <3

part one

Scaramouche:

Scaramouche sees it one day while you’re both cleaning up your shared house and you accidentally knocked over your deck, scattering the cards on the floor

The card you have of him just so happens to end up right next to his foot

He’s only ever heard of TCG in passing from other people or when Cyno was talking about it back in the tournament ages ago, but he never really cared to look into what it was

He’s immensely confused because what the fuck is his face doing on a playing card

You embarrassedly try to explain it to him, but he just glares at it for a second before raising his brows and looking at you

“This is really weird,” he says bluntly and flips it over in his hands while mumbling to himself, “at least they made me look cool.”

You just snatch it back from him and scoff as you put it away in your deck holder, explaining that you were going to show it to him later

“Yeah, whatever, I better be the strongest card in there.”

Alhaitham:

Very unamused

Although he plays with you and the rest of the group, it isn’t very often and he doesn’t care about it as much as the rest of you do

You pull it out from behind your back one day as you’re both walking home from the Akademiya

“Surprise! Look what I got, isn’t it so cool?” you beam at him, shoving the card in his face

He takes the card from your hand, his reaction not changing from his normal face as he does. He inspects it before giving it back to you, “Seriously? You got a card of me?”

It upsets you because you were really happy and it took nearly a month for the guy to make it for you

So the literal second your face falls and you start to get embarrassed, he backtracks completely

“No, it’s fine. I think it’s really cool,” Alhaitham says almost instantly.

And he isn’t lying either. Is it a little cheesy? Yes. However, Alhaitham secretly does like that you have it and care so much about him that you want to have him in your playing deck

So he grabs your hand and holds it tightly in his, knowing he now has another way of subtly bragging to everyone that he’s dating you

Arlecchino:

“I’m afraid I don’t understand,” she’ll say when you pull out the card to show her, “What is this? A children’s game? Did one of the children put you up to this?”

You take the card back from across the table and pout at her, “No, it’s mine. I got it because we’re dating and I wanted to have a card of you.”

Arlecchino never really understood the point of games, no less TCG of all things. So she’s understandably confused when you start talking about it

It takes you rambling about the games rules and all the little details for her to finally believe that it really wasn’t one of the kids trying to pull a prank on her or something

And she finds it endearing in a way, although she doesn’t let you know that

You notice her looking a little lost and slide the card under the table and back into the rest of the deck sitting in your hands, “Sorry, I can get rid of it if you want.”

“No, there’s no need for that. I think it’s..cute.”

Kinich:

In the nicest way possible, he doesn’t really care

You show him immediately when you get it and Mualani and Kachina totally freak out

“No way! Do they have other ones too?” they’re both more excited than he is and ask if there were any of them since they were made after the competition

Don’t get me wrong though, it isn’t that he doesn’t care, but more specifically, he doesn’t really care about the card

He’s more happy to see that you’re excited about it and that makes his heart swell

And if Ajaw tries to say anything about it, well he wouldn’t even get the chance too because Kinich doesn’t want your moment being spoiled

He’s also very secretly a little giddy over the fact that you love him so much you want to have a card of him

Childe:

The biggest tease ever

Like he literally will never let it go once he finds the card left out on your dinner table from when you were playing with a friend the night before

“Oh wow, you have a card of me? That’s so adorable. I hope you’re destroying all your enemies with my card,” he’ll say arrogantly.

Unimpressed, you take the card from his hands while he’s laughing and shove it back in the deck

“No,” you scoff and decide to tease him back, “you normally die first, matter of fact. I’ve actually been meaning to find a replacement card.”

His jaw drops and he looks at you with the biggest pout, “Hey! That’s not very nice. Who would you even replace me with anyway? There’s no way there’s a stronger card out there than me.”

“Believe me, I could definitely find one,” you smirk at him and wait as he begins to nearly throw a fit. When he really starts to believe you, you laugh and hug him tightly, “Ha! you should’ve seen your face! I’m only joking, you know. Your card is my favorite.”

He stares down at you with his blue eyes and presses a kiss to your lips, “Yeah, that’s more like it.”

[starryhyuck]

craving you. (m) — PATREON EXCLUSIVE

pairing: husband!jaehyun x afab!reader

words: 5.1k+

summary: are pregnancy cravings supposed to make you crazy for your husband’s dick?

genre: smut

warnings: jaehyun and reader are children of politicians, mentions of conservative views, pregnancy, public sex, bigdick!jaehyun, fingering, pussy eating, creampies

this fic is exclusive to the $5 tier on my patreon, which you can access here! below is a tumblr preview

Once you’re on the road, he intertwines his hand with yours over the console. He raises the back of your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles softly. “Missed you today,” he murmurs, squeezing your palm. “Dad’s been wanting to see you too. Said you should come by the office and hang out. He’d love your input on the new traffic law they’re trying to pass.”

You hum noncommittally, staring out the window with a longing expression. He swallows at your choice to remain non-verbal, worry filling the bottom of his gut.

“Pasta night tonight, hm? I already called ahead and they set aside our favorite table,” he continues, trying to draw a reaction out of you. You chew on your lower lip, but your eyes focus on the passing streetlights. The question leaves his lips before he can stop it. “Have I done something wrong, my love?”

Your head darts over to him for the first time, gaze filled with confusion. “Of course you haven’t.”

“You’ve just been so distant from me,” he sighs. “I’m wondering if you’re upset over something I did.”

“No, no, of course not,” you shake your head, squirming in your seat. “It’s just that- T-The baby- I’m just having a lot of emotions right now.”

“You can talk to me about them, you know? I’d love to understand how you’re feeling.”

A few moments pass in silence, and he peeks over to see you battling internally before you say, “It’s not really appropriate, Jae.”

His brow furrows. “Appropriate? I’m your husband, my love. You can tell me anything.”

The rest of the ride is speechless and when Jaehyun pulls up to the valet of the restaurant, he tells the worker to give you both a moment.

“I don’t want to go in there until you feel comfortable enough sitting across from me and looking me in the eye,” he says sternly, not allowing you to run away from confrontation this time. “If you’re mad at me, tell me now and we can put a pin in it to discuss later.”

“I-I’m not mad!” You exclaim, flustered by the various people standing outside and waiting for you. “Please, Jae. Let’s just enjoy our dinner.”

“I can’t enjoy it if I know my wife is upset.”

“I’m not upset,” you hiss, groaning and running your hands down your face. “It’s not appropriate for me to say! Especially here!”

“What is it? Morning sickness? Swelling? Using the bathroom too often?”

“I want to have sex with you! Does that make you happy? I think about jumping your bones every five seconds and it’s driving me insane. I can’t even look you in the eye because all I’ll think about is riding you until I’m out of breath,” you confess, folding your arms across your chest and pouting like a child. “Now you know your wife is a degenerate who can’t think straight.”

You could cut the tension in the air with a knife. Jaehyun doesn’t utter a single word, opening up the car door and signaling for the valet to take the keys. One of the workers helps you step out as Jaehyun walks over, outstretching his arm to you without sparing you a single glance.

You walk into the restaurant with your hand wrapped around his forearm tightly. When the hostess greets you, Jaehyun says, “We’ll take the private room in the back if it’s available. I’ll pay extra if needed.”

The hostess blinks in surprise. “Oh, I apologize, Mr. Jeong. I thought you called in and requested the table by the window.”

He flashes her his signature smile. “I did, but my wife is feeling under the weather and we’d prefer if we had more privacy. I’m sure the restaurant can make a few accommodations.”

“Of course, Mr. Jeong.”

She leads you to the back, opening a sliding door that reveals a dimly lit room for two. Jaehyun nods and takes the menu from her hands. “I’ll call for service when we’re ready,” he instructs. “I ask that those doors remain closed until I say otherwise.”

“No problem, Mr. Jeong. I’ll inform the rest of the staff.”

When she exits, Jaehyun finds his way to his seat. He watches your confused expression, knowing he usually pulls out your seat for you like a proper gentleman. Just as you’re about to take your own spot at the table, he stops you with a gruff “What do you think you’re doing?”

You glance between him and the chair, and on any other occasion, he would coo at how cute you are.

“Um, sitting?”

He raises an eyebrow. “Your seat’s over here, my love,” he murmurs, patting his thigh. “Have you forgotten how to use your eyes?”

You blink twice. “Uh-”

“Come on. I can’t wait all day.”

want to read the rest? access the $5 tier on my patreon here!

[devildomwriter]

Fill Your Hearts With Christmas Cheer | Raphael, Simeon, & Solomon x Reader

1.9k+ words | GN! Reader | Luke included platonically | CW: none

Summary ~ You and the purgatory hall gang are making ornaments but things don’t go to plan thanks to Solomon and a couple kisses.

The room smelled like a mix of cookies and burning skin as you dropped the hot glue gun again, stinging yourself for the ninth time.

“I think we need to revoke your glue gun privileges,” Solomon joked but Simeon nodded completely seriously.

“I agree. Why don’t you take a break and help Luke with the cookies?” Simeon suggested.

Raphael was quick to protest, “You want them near an oven after this?”

Simeon quickly draped a blanket over your shoulders instead, tempting you to stay seated. You sighed and held up your pinky to Simeon who gently kissed it, healing it instantly.

Raphael and Solomon glared and Simeon chuckled and set your hot chocolate next to you.

You think you’d just about had enough of hot things for now.

Apparently making ornaments wasn’t as easy as you thought. Luke got a brand new tree this year and hallmark ornaments were too expensive, so instead you, Solomon, Simeon, and Raphael collectively decided to make some.

Raphael brought out some of his less expensive fabrics and threads, Solomon collected a mixture of odd materials, some of them glowed suspiciously, and Simeon being a responsible adult had gone to the craft store to get beads, stickers, foam cutouts, glitter, and pipe cleaners.

You avoided the things that glowed but Raphael and Solomon were happy to use them and you stuck to stringing beans onto a pile cleaner to make fake candy canes. When you’d made enough you switched to cutting out foam and decorating it into different shapes, this however required your hot glue gun and it seemed to hate you.

Solomon headed you three times with a spell and Simeon and Raphael had kissed the injured area the remaining six times. Solomon was becoming upset he didn’t have an angel’s healing kiss. Luke had no idea this battle of sorts was happening in the next room.

The smell of cookies wafted more strongly in the air now as you heard the oven open.

Raphael got up to assist Luke taking them out even though the young angel was plenty used to this as well as oven “kisses” as he called them.

Simeon smiled at your current cut-out shapes of foam that remained unglued from each other.

“Is this a Santa hat?” He asked and you nodded.

“Are you putting it on a sheep?” Solomon laughed and again agreed with a big smile.

“Yes, I just need to glue it on—“

“Allow me,” Simeon intercepted your reach for the glue gun and did it himself with quick and delicate precision.

Seeing how well it turned out you decided you would give up on the glue gun, especially now that Luke was in the room. You didn’t need him to see his brothers and Solomon fighting over who got to heal your minor burn.

“Enjoy everyone!” He exclaimed and set the plated gingerbread cookies in the middle of the table.

“These look delightful, Luke.” Simeon complimented and you all reached for one.

You dropped the cookie, surprised it was still so hot.

“Oh no! I’m so sorry ___ they’re still kinda hot!”

Raphael, Solomon, and Simeon eyed each other and you quickly retracted your hand.

Luke got up from his seat and rushed over to you. He held your hand and mumbled words of healing over it, the slight heat immediately faded and you grinned.

“You’re the best Luke!” You cheered and kissed his forehead.

He blushed and pulled down his hat, “Y-yeah. It’s no problem!”

Solomon, Raphael, and Simeon appeared to sulk for a minute and inwardly scolded themselves for being jealous of a child. You snickered at their reactions and they quickly diverted their attention to the crafts.

“Oooh, who made this one!?” Luke asked as he held up a carved figure of Mary with a real cloth dress around her.

Raphael smiled and raised his hand slightly, just enough for Luke to notice and praise his hard work.

You looked at your overjoyed foam in contrast and sighed. You tried not to be jealous. After all these angels had thousands of years on you and so did the supposed human, Solomon.

Luke looked over the others and stared at yours with concern. “What smells like burnt flesh?”

You blushed and Solomon coughed to disguise a small laugh as you glared at him. This only made him laugh harder and Luke looked concerned.

“What? What happened?”

Simeon smiled somewhat sadly, “___ has had their glue gun privileges revoked,” he explained and Luke looked alarmed.

“Oh no! Are you okay, ___ you really need to be more careful! The glue gun is really hot!” He exclaimed and you turned red.

Luke may be thousands of years old but he was still a child and here you were a mildly responsible adult being told off by him for improper handling of a glue gun.

Luke quickly joined in the craft activities, excitedly kicking his feet as everyone smiled his way, focused more on him instead of their own projects.

You made more farm animals and handed them to Simeon to glue who would quickly set down what he was doing to handle it for you before you got impatient. Luke thought this was sweet but Raphael found it concerning and Solomon just snickered at you.

“What kind of ornaments are normal in the human world?” Raphael asked you after completing every single person and animal involved in the Christmas story.

“Umm well…red balls and golden balls are pretty normal. Santa is a big one of course but there are really random ones too.”

Raphael tilted his head curiously. “Oh? Like what?”

“Well, one time they were selling ornaments that looked like sticks of butter at a bookstore. There were also candy bars, beer, boots…lots of stuff.” You explained and he looked puzzled.

“And that’s…normal for Christmas in the human world?”

“Ornaments are about self-expression a lot of the time. My ornaments tell a story of my interests through the years. Things I liked as a kid to the modern day. It’s funny, almost none of it stayed the same year to year. One year was Care Bears, then NASCAR, then Starwars, that kind of thing.”

Raphael smiled at the thought. “In that case, I’d love to see your personal Christmas tree sometime, ___.”

“I’d love to show you! I almost don’t have room for some ornaments, maybe I’ll bring a few here,” you suggested and Solomon nodded.

“___’s childhood ornaments…” he mumbled to himself, his cheeks flushed pink.

“Solomon, why are you turning red?” Luke scolded and Solomon laughed it off and continued on his bizarre ornament instead.

Three hours in and you still had no idea what Solomon was trying to make. He hadn’t finished even one thing and was using most of the ominously glowing materials he’d brought.

“Solomon…your ornament is glowing…” Luke pointed out.

“Mhmm,” was all he had to say in response.

Raphael sighed at the sorcerer’s antics and about twenty minutes later you passed out.

When you woke up Raphael was leaning over you looking worried.

“Thank heavens,” he sighed and shoved his hair out of his face.

“What on earth…” you groaned and Simeon entered the room with a bottle of water.

“Well we found out why they were glowing…” he revealed and you arched a brow as you drank the water. Raphael helped prop you up, holding you in his arms. It was such a surprise you nearly choked on the water.

Simeon’s eye twitched slightly as he explained, “Those…things…were radioactive.”

You began laughing in sheer surprise. “What? Do you have any idea how radioactive something needs to be for you to pass out in its vicinity?” You gasped.

“I thought they’d be fine by now,” Solomon sighed entering the room with a large lump on the top of his head.

Luke puffed out his cheeks, upset with Solomon. He rushed to your side and hugged you. “I’m so glad you’re okay, ___!”

You sighed and rolled your eyes at the whole situation. “Honestly…I can’t even make ornaments without something happening to me…”

“That’s not your fault,” Raphael consoled, “it’s his,” he said with a strong bite to his words as he glared at Solomon.

“Whoops…” the sorcerer shrugged.

“You only lasted as long as you did because of our kisses,” Simeon sighed and Luke shot up.

“Wh-What! Your what!?”

“Oh dear,” Simeon mumbled.

“Really, Simeon…” Raphael sighed.

“Well the cats out of the bag now,” Solomon shrugged as Luke tugged on Simeon’s cape aggressively trying to get more information out of him.

You looked at Solomon who looked sincerely apologetic for once and he slowly reached into his pocket and handed you an ornament. The one he’d been working on.

“Why the f—“ You remembered Luke was next to you. “—uuuudge… would you put it near me!!” You asked him and he chuckled.

“Well, I decontaminated it so…it’s all good now.” He explained and your shoulders relaxed.

You took a good look at the ornament for the first time and smiled. Solomon had intricately placed the rocks together with bits of fabric to make the shapes of you and him together holding a sheep with a Santa hat. You chuckled and smiled at him. “Thank you Solomon… this is amazing.”

Solomon immediately brightened up, believing he was completely out of the dog house and Raphael mumbled something about it but you couldn’t make it out despite being in his arms.

Raphael reached for something behind him and handed it to you. He too had made an ornament of you and him together, both with white wings. You hugged his arms around you and thanked him sincerely. He gave you one of his small and adorably cute smiles as Solomon rolled his eyes.

Before you could set the two ornaments aside another one was placed in your hand by Simeon was a mischievous grin, a sight becoming less rare for him.

Raphael and Solomon looked surprised as you looked over his ornament. He was carrying you bridal style in this ornament and he clearly had a groom’s outfit. You snickered at how obvious he was being and thanked him through small laughs.

He tilted his head, worried you thought it was funny instead but Luke interrupted any questions he had.

“Wh-what’s wrong with you people! ___ have this! This one is normal!” Luke insisted and gave you his adorable ornament.

He’d neatly drawn the five of you on a piece of paper cut out in your shapes with foam clothing on top of you all. It was surprisingly intricate.

“Wow. Luke can use a glue gun,” Solomon said playfully and you glared at him. He laughed and Simeon held back a chuckle as you reached for Luke.

Luke ran up to you and you wrapped your arms around him and ruffled his hair.

“Don’t be jealous of a child…” you heard Solomon whisper to himself as he looked away and this time Raphael laughed, something so rare everyone looked at him in amazement.

“Sir Raphael laughed!” Luke gasped.

“It’s a Christmas miracle,” you laughed and Raphael immediately stopped and sighed exasperatedly instead.

You gently set your ornaments aside and stretched your arms out inviting Solomon and Simeon in for a hug too. You made a sincere wish that moment that days like this would always continue, not just at Christmas but throughout the rest of your years.

[slutforwoo]

☆5. for fucks sakes☆

previous| masterlist|next

☆ written part below!! ☆

Walking into the library, you scan around looking for the most empty space. Just wanting to be alone after what happened in class. people around you took in the way you slam ur bag onto the round and slouch in the comfortable beanbag in the corner. Pulling out your laptop and chemistry book. Taking your headphones from around your neck and turning them on. Scrolling through your playlist you ended up playing ‘The Summoning by Sleep Token’

You feel the way the tears prick at your eyes. this wasn’t the first time this had happened but this time professor jin just took it too far. god you didn’t wanna cry. it’s such a stupid reason to but with the way everything has been you just couldn’t help it as u start to sob silently into your arms. you recalled what happened in ur head.

“Y/n do you want to not have a future or what?” professor jin stated as he stopped mid lecture to stare at your tattoo on ur arm that was showing due to your sweater riding up.

“I’m sorry sir what?”you stated in confusion as you were just taking notes on the lecture.

“That ridiculous thing on your arm. Your parents must be so disappointed to have a child that would throw away their future like that” he snarled at you eyeing you up and down

“My parents know about my tattoos. They paid for my first one” you said calmly trying to not get upset.

“Well then they’re failures at parenting. Just look at you. I’d disown you if you were my child” he said

and that’s when you lost it. you knew better than to say what u wanted to. which was to tell him he was an egoistic prick who clearly needs to be laid to get the stick out his ass. so you packed your things and simply walked out hearing him snicker as u did.

you shake ur head as you force yourself to read the book, memorizing every word through your blurry gaze. humming along to the song, focusing on what u were reading. reminding yourself to review what you read every couple paragraphs and writing summaries in ur notebook. it was a study trick yunho had taught you that actually worked. getting lost in ur studying, you didn’t hear yunho when he sat next to you

he let his gaze wonder you, seeing how puffy and swollen your eyes were. you were crying? why did the thought of it upset him so much. finally after just a couple more seconds of admiring you, he tapped your shoulder. the sudden touch made you jump and hit his shoulder as a reflex. and when you look up to see it’s him your eyes go huge.

“Oh my god Yunho i’m sorry you just scared the shit out of me”you pant lightning taking your headphones off and turned to face him completely.

“I didn’t realize you were that lost in the book Y/n” he chuckled lightly

“Well I was believe it or not, I could definitely take a pop quiz on thermodynamics believe it or not”you smiled at him

“Have you been using my study tips?” he asked raising an eyebrow at you.

“I actually have, see” you say rolling your eyes, handing him your notebook. he smiles as he sees the color coded paragraphs and titles, along with page cited examples.

“You know maybe you don’t need me. You're definitely smarter then you lead on y/n” he says handing you back your notes

“No I need you or I will not be surviving the rest of this year after exams. I will actually hunt you down if you stop.” You said whisper-yelling at the brunette across from you. “I’ll pay you extra if I need to, you just actually are really good at explaining things to me without getting frustrated. and you don't make me feel stupid when I don't understand.” you state looking him dead in the eye offering a small smile

yunho was a bit stunned by the appreciation you have for him. he feels a heat rise to his cheeks, laughing it off he shakes his head.

“You don’t need to pay me extra y/n, truly you don’t need to pay me at all, i’m just helping a friend”He said before continuing “Now lets study stoichiometry, I over heard prof talking about a quiz on it tomorrow”

you take him in, yea you guys were definitely friends. I mean your friend groups all know each other, so it's obvious right?

“okay okay, lets get this over with”

p☆rnst☆r tag list:

@roxhanah @sunnysidesins @spenceatiny18  @kookieswithjung   @kcharlyy  @bloomyroses  @jiminssluttyminx  @fairy-jojo  @oceanside-view97 @domfikeluva @mountquokka  @frecklypotato

[behindthesoul]

MK Men As Parents

Thanks to @mortal-kombat-shitposts and Tommy from the Discord server for giving me this idea <3

Characters: Liu Kang, Syzoth, Shang Tsung, Bi-Han

Note: gender neutral, mentions of periods in Syzoth’s part, not proofread

Masterlist

Liu Kang

Chill parent.

He makes time for his kid whenever he can, but he’s busy with being the defender of Earthrealm. I can see his kid mostly being raised by the monks at the Wu Shi Academy.

He trains his kid to the best of his ability, not wanting them to be defenseless in case of an emergency.

I don’t think they would go to Outworld much. Sindel wouldn’t even know Liu had a kid til they’re older.

Liu is very wise and gives the best advice. He’s there to calm his kid down should they ever get angry or upset. He expects his child to be truthful and always come to him if something’s wrong.

I can imagine his kid learning of his god status pretty early on, but not knowing of his past role as Keeper of Time until he’s forced to reveal it. Depending on their personality, this could cause some tension between them.

Syzoth

Assuming Syzoth’s child also has his ability to take a human form, he would drill it into their head that they are not a freak. Their human and Zaterran form are both beautiful to him.

Parenting is a unique challenge for Syzoth. While he easily handles the Zaterran aspects of raising a child, he finds it more challenging to comprehend human things such as periods, puberty, and tantrums.

Syzoth finds himself missing his family more and more each day. He feels bad his child won’t have much family to grow up around. I think because of this, Syzoth is a bit protective. He’s already lost so much, he can’t bear to lose the best thing in his life.

He’s nowhere near overbearing, but there are moments where he watches his kid like a hawk.

Shang Tsung

I can imagine Shang being a single parent, doing his best to raise a child in his shack. He spends most of the day out in towns, selling his fake cures. He trusts his child to be able to take care of themselves while he’s gone.

He’s a devoted father doing all he can to keep his child happy. He wants them to be smart, frequently having them reading above age-level and doing math problems most kids their age can’t comprehend.

Once Shang’s benefactor gives him his big break? Shang spoils the shit out of his child. Giving them the life they’ve always deserved. These are the days Shang’s child sees him smile the most. Gone are the days of tirelessly selling fraudulent medicine. It’s time to live lavish!

Bi-Han

Not the most emotionally available parent.

He’s not the type to show any emotion that isn’t anger, and he doesn’t know how to deal with others’ feelings. He tries his best, but he may not react to every situation the way his child needs him to.

He’s a strict father; a product of being the grandmaster of the Lin Kuei. His child has a lot of eyes on them, so they will be ruthlessly trained to be the best of the best.

He is a father first before he is a grandmaster. But, if he feels the need to put his foot down, his child will hear “obey your Grandmaster!”

He’ll never admit to it, but Bi-Han does spoil his child. Not as much as other characters would, though.

His strictness will only work for so long! If his child catches him on a good day, he may or may not let them skip training by feigning illness. If someone brings it up he’ll just say, “my child shows great dedication to the Lin Kuei. They have not missed a day of training.”

[fandoms-x-reader]

Wild Child

Word Count: 5,930

Oneshot

Summary: The brothers decide to go to a party without you. Instead of sulking alone, you decide to go out with Solomon to have your own fun. Demon Brothers x Female! ~Wild~ Party Reader Solomon x Reader (Platonic/Best Friend) Mentions alcohol and clubbing/partying.

You let out an annoyed sigh as you sat on one of the bed’s in Diavolo’s Castle. You crossed your arms as your mind flashed back to the seven demon brothers who abandoned you here. Okay, abandoned was a bit of an over exaggeration. But, you were definitely upset with them.

They had gotten invited to the annual Succubus party. It was apparently some great big party that everyone had fun at. There was only one problem - humans weren’t allowed. You rolled your eyes as you thought about the rule. 

The demon brothers all told you that they had to go. It would be improper for the Seven Rulers of the Devildom to not show up…or something like that. As much as they made it seem like they were going out of obligation, though, you could see the excitement in their eyes. They even convinced Levi to go!

You were fine with them going. You would have gone if you were in their position as well. What made you mad though, is they insisted on dropping you off at the Demon’s Lord Castle. They told you that they didn’t feel comfortable with you being left alone - for your safety. So, they asked Barbatos to make up a guest room and brought you over. 

Diavolo was unable to go to the Succubus Party because of how busy he was at the moment which meant that he also wouldn’t have any time to spend with you. You were doomed to spend the night in the guest room, bored out of your mind.

Most people would have just thrown a pity party and gotten comfortable. But, this was not how you were going to be spending your night. Not while everyone else was having fun. So, you called the only person you could think of - Solomon.

You quickly grabbed your D.D.D. and called your best friend. Since no humans were allowed at the party, he had to be free. You waited as the phone rang, praying that he would pick up. You were just hoping you could invite him over to the castle to keep you entertained for a bit.

“I was wondering when I’d get a call from you,” you heard him say as he answered. “You were expecting me to call you?” you asked. “I heard about the brothers “banishing” you to Lord Diavolo’s castle while they’re at the party,” Solomon replied. “You heard about that?” you questioned, surprised. 

“They may have mentioned it to me. You’ll never guess their reason either,” Solomon said, and you held your breath as you waited for him to continue. “They said it’s because they knew you wouldn’t be able to get into any trouble there,” he finished.

You raised an eyebrow at his words as you said, “So, they all get to go out and have fun without me, and they get to decide whether I get to have any fun tonight.” Solomon stayed silent for a moment, a smirk on his face. He knew that every time someone told you to do something, it was a challenge to do the exact opposite.

“We’re going out tonight. I don’t care where,” you told him after a few more moments. Solomon let out a chuckle before telling you, “I came prepared for you to say that. There’s a club having a party tonight as well. It turns out there are some people who don’t want to go to a party full of succubi.”

You turned the idea around in your head, a smile slowly forming on your lips. “The brothers will be mad if they find out you went to this party, though,” Solomon told you - daring you. “Well, they told me they would pick me up in the morning, so we’ll just make sure we come back to the castle when the night’s over,” you responded.

“I’ll come pick you up. See you soon,” Solomon stated before hanging up. Your heart skipped a beat in excitement as you went over to the suitcase you had packed for the night. Luckily for you, you had packed an outfit on the off chance they decided to invite you to the party last minute. You thanked your lucky stars that you were somehow always prepared to look good and you went to the bathroom to change.

After you finished getting ready, you took another look at the outfit and blushed a little bit. This was the first time you were wearing this outfit. Asmo had picked it out for you on one of your shopping trips. You never had the occasion to wear it, but you figured if you were to get invited to a party with a bunch of succubi, you should wear something that matched the theme; and, this outfit definitely did. 

You didn’t realize how much skin was exposed until you were wearing it. Your chest was supported in all the right ways while exposing a decent amount of your cleavage. The outfit hugged you in the best places while showing off your body with an open stomach and stopping mid-thigh to flaunt your legs. 

Once you were satisfied with the way you looked, you grabbed your D.D.D. and made your way to the door of the castle, where you unfortunately ran into Barbatos. He looked surprised to see what you were wearing. You don’t think anyone had seen you were something so provocative. 

“Heading out?” Barbatos asked you. “With Solomon, he’s outside,” you replied, reassuring him of your safety before giving him your best puppy dog eyes. “Please don’t tell the brothers,” you asked him. Barbatos took in a breath before telling you, “I’m not your babysitter, you can go wherever you like; but, if they ask, I won’t lie.”

That was the answer you were looking for. Hopefully, if you planned everything accordingly, you would be back long before the brothers would even have to ask where you were. You flashed Barbatos a smile before leaving through the door and meeting up with Solomon.

When you got to the club, you were surprised to see how busy it actually was…and what was that song they were playing? You knew it. You turned to Solomon and he looked like a kid in a candy shop, practically bursting at the seams.

“I actually have a pact with the demon who owns this club, and when you agreed to go out tonight, I made some calls. Welcome to your very first human party in the Devildom,” Solomon said and your smile widened. Tonight was going to be fun.

You quickly dragged Solomon inside the club and couldn’t help but laugh. There was multiple human-world games set up. Beer Pong, Spin the Bottle, Truth or Dare…Twister. Solomon really thought of everything. 

He handed you a drink and you took a sip, surprised that you could actually feel the burn of the alcohol. You loved your best friend, but he was going to get you in trouble tonight.

Your mind switched to someone you knew who was sitting at the bar and you made your way over to him. He immediately smiled and you asked in disbelief, “Simeon?” He pulled you into a hug before saying, “Y/N! I was waiting for you to show up!”

_______________

The Seven Rulers of the Devildom had been sitting at a nearby table contemplating their decision to come to the party tonight. Usually, they loved the Succubus Party. There was enough fun there to last them until the next year. But, this time, it felt like there was something missing; and, it didn’t take long for them to figure out what that was. 

They felt bad for pawning you off on Lord Diavolo, but you had a tendency to get into trouble when they weren’t around. They all figured they could make it up to you later. But, now they were wishing they had stayed in with you instead.

Lucifer and Satan sat in silence, watching the people around them. Mammon mindlessly twirled a grimm coin in between his fingers. Levi pulled out one of his handheld games, deciding it would be more fun than this party. Beel’s only mission was to eat the entire buffet, and Belphie was a few more quiet seconds away from falling asleep. Even Asmo was lacking the motivation to try and seduce a Succubi. What was wrong with them?

_______________

You weren’t exactly sure when, or really even how, it happened, but you, Solomon, and Simeon were wasted. At first, you couldn’t stop laughing about Simeon’s drunken state - it was so ironic to you to see an angel so drunk. But, the more he loosened up, the more you realized how fun he was to party with.

You and Solomon made sure to play every single game that was set up. After all, you weren’t sure when you’d have another opportunity to play any human drinking games. You weren’t going to miss out on the opportunity.

You started with beer pong, surprising yourself with how good you were. A crowd of demons gathered around you, watching you play against miscellaneous opponents. Their cheers spurred you on and you won almost every time. 

When you were done with that, you decided to move over to Twister. You didn’t know the demons you were playing with; but, in your current state of mind, you didn’t care. The demons, however, were very excited to play with you. Almost every demon in the Devildom had a crush on the beautiful human exchange student. However, most of them weren’t allowed within an inch of you, thanks to your seven bodyguards. Now that they weren’t there, though, all bets were off the table. 

Solomon decided to spin the wheel for the game, giving the instructions for which body part to put on which color. You found yourself twisted in a precarious position between two demons and a small blush rose to your cheeks. You stayed strong in your position, though, and after a few more turns, you were all sent tumbling down to the ground. 

You let out genuine laughs as Solomon helped you stand back up. “Are you okay?” he asked with a small smile. He may have been the one to get you into this trouble, but he was also your best friend and wanted to make sure you were doing okay. That you weren’t feeling sick or uncomfortable. “I’m doing great,” you replied warmly before taking him over to the next game.

_______________

The brothers had noticed that the already unusually quiet party had lost more and more people. What was happening to this year’s party? They decided not to think much about it. It wasn’t their place to question the succubi. They were just waiting for it to be over so they could finally leave. 

That was, until, a particularly drunk lower-level demon approached their table. Normally, they wouldn’t tolerate such behavior, but he was clearly inebriated. “Guess you guys chose the wrong party to show up to, huh?” the demon asked, plopping down next to Mammon. 

Mammon raised an eyebrow as he shared a glance with his brothers. “What are ya’ talking about?” “Your human - she’s all over Devilgram,” the demon replied with a smile. All of their hearts stopped beating as silence filled the air. “What?” Lucifer asked, anger rising in his eyes. Anger rising in all of their eyes.

“Yeah, Solomon and her are throwing an awesome party at the club. I’ll show you,” the demon proudly stated, pulling out his D.D.D. and opening Devilgram. Satan snatched the device away from the demon as soon as the app opened and they all crowded around the fourth eldest to look at the screen.

Pictures of you and Solomon started popping up and everyone’s eyes widened as they saw you. More specifically, when they saw the outfit. The problem wasn’t the outfit - the problem was you looked absolutely stunning in it and you were letting every passing demon look at you in it. That was a huge problem for them. Like the demon said, you were their human.

The anger and jealousy hung like a storm cloud over the brothers as they looked at the pictures. And, if that wasn’t bad enough - then came the videos. And there was a multitude of them. Videos of you dirty dancing and playing Twister. Videos of a demon getting dared to kiss your neck and another one in which you were chosen for ‘Spin the Bottle’. 

What made things all the worse was that none of them had gotten a chance to see this side of you. The opportunity had never presented itself for them to get you alcohol from the human world, and Demonus had no effect on humans. They were missing their chance to see you stumble around or slur your words in the cute way humans do. They were missing their chance for you to be cute and cuddly, the alcohol clouding your decisions. Instead, the honor was going to a bunch of random low-level demons who had the audacity to have their lips on you. Someone was going to pay.

“Looks like everyone’s getting a piece of her tonight,” the demon joked, laughing a bit. Not funny. The ‘joke’ was enough to send them all into their demon form, Satan crushing the demon’s D.D.D. in his hand from the wrath he was feeling.

“Hey,” the demon pouted but they paid him no attention. “We’re leaving,” Lucifer stated - as if he even needed to. All seven brothers walked out of the Succubus Party - much to the succubi's dismay - and made their way to the club.

_______________

You hadn’t planned on being as adventurous as you had been tonight. But, Solomon was an excellent wingman - and an instigator. He held a mischievous look in his eyes everytime he suggested you play a game. He knew if the brothers found out, you would be in trouble, but that was part of the fun.

So, now here you were, sitting in a chair in the middle of the club with a demon who had been dared to do a body shot off of you. The idea made you blush but you complied nonetheless. After all, a dare is a dare right?

You sat there nervously in the middle of the club while others cheered the demon on. He got down on his knees in front of you, holding a shot in his hand. He looked nervous and you felt a bit bad for him. So you flashed him a small smile, and told him, “Don’t worry, it’s just for a dare.” That seemed to make him relax a little bit as he got ready to do the body shot.

The demon brothers had arrived at the club and entered it with a mission - to find you. Nothing else mattered. They noticed that everyone’s attention was focused on the center of the club and they all looked in that direction, stopping dead in their tracks at the scene in front of them. 

The demon who was in front of you poured the shot on your stomach before gripping your hips and seductively licking the shot off your body. When he was done, he moved up your body and crashed his lips to yours in a sloppy kiss. 

When the demon pulled away, everyone cheered loudly, enjoying the completion of the dare. You stood up from the chair, blushing and laughing at the situation as Solomon approached you. Before he could say anything though, your eyes scanned the club and you stopped breathing when you saw all seven brothers standing before you, a look of murder in their eyes.

Your smile immediately fell as you saw them. “Uh oh,” you muttered and Solomon looked in that direction, his own smile leaving his face. You two were in so much trouble. As if on cue, all seven of them started walking towards you, the true aura of their power shining around them. 

“Solomon,” you muttered. “Yeah?” he asked. “I want to be buried in the human world,” you replied as they finally reached you. They were so angry, no words could even come to their mind. In your intoxicated state, you thought it would be best to break the ice by asking, “How was the party?”

They all narrowed their gaze on you as Lucifer grabbed your wrist and told you in a dangerously low voice, “You’re done.” He then started leading you out of the club, his grip tightening on your wrist in case you got any funny ideas of trying to stay. You knew better though. The other six brothers surrounded you, forming a wall of protection from all of the other demons. They would be damned if the other demons tried to sneak a look at you again.

The whole way home was silent. No one dared to speak a word, and you didn’t know if that was more scary than them yelling at you. 

When you got to the House of Lamentation, Lucifer instructed you to sit on the couch in the living room while they all stood in front of you, ready to give you the lecture of your life. “What were ya’ thinking?” Mammon asked, breaking the silence. You knew better than to try and talk in the middle of their lecture.

His question began an onslaught of questions from everyone else as they scolded you on the dangers of going to parties without them. You did your best to sit there and take it, but you had a lot of alcohol in your system and you were struggling to focus. Eventually they realized this and Asmo said, “Maybe we should pick this up tomorrow.” 

None of them were completely satisfied with that, still feeling angry; but, they knew it was for the best. “You’re banned from hanging out with Solomon until further notice,” Lucifer added in as a last remark. You didn’t say anything in response. You just sat still while everyone headed off to bed for the night. Everyone except - him.

Lucifer watched your unmoving form as his brothers headed off to bed. He thought what you did was completely irresponsible. The simple fact is that you are a human in the Devildom and who knows how many of those demons were just waiting for their chance to pounce on you. The opportune moment when someone wasn’t watching you, and with how drunk Solomon was, Lucifer doubted he was capable of keeping his eyes on you the whole time. 

He wanted to keep a stern appearance so that you knew he was serious, but he couldn’t leave you sitting there on the couch in the state you were in. He approached you slowly and offered you his hand. You looked up at him in shock and he softly said, “Let’s get you to bed.”

You gave him a small smile as he led you to your room. You were exhausted and wanted nothing more than to collapse into your bed for the night, but Lucifer had decided you needed to change into different clothes. He accompanied you to your closet and then ushered you inside your bathroom to change.

He waited for you to change and when you came out, the two of you exchanged awkward glances. You knew he wasn’t going to leave you alone. Not yet at least. So, you crawled over to your bed and slipped underneath the covers.

Lucifer didn’t say anything, he just leaned against the wall by your door, making sure you got to sleep safely. You sent him one more glance before closing your eyes and letting sleep overtake you. Lucifer was surprised at how quickly you fell asleep, but with the amount of alcohol you had, maybe he shouldn’t have been.

He looked over your sleeping form and for the first time all night, his cold facade broke. He approached the bed and sat down in front of you, careful not to wake you. He gently brushed some of your hair out of your face before letting out a small sigh. “Why do you always have to end up in trouble?” Lucifer asked softly, letting his gloved thumb stroke your cheek bone. If only you knew his true feelings for you, maybe you wouldn’t have gone to the club in the first place.

As everyone shuffled off to bed, Mammon immediately went to you. He couldn’t leave his human there with no help. He sat down next to you on the couch and you looked up at him through your eyelashes. Dammit, why did you always have to look so cute?

“Come on, I’ll help ya’ get to your room,” Mammon offered. You nodded your head as he helped you stand up, keeping his arm around your waist in case you needed any help walking. He helped you get into your room and told you, “You should change.”

You moved away from him to your closet and immediately peeled off your top much to Mammon’s surprise. His cheeks burned a bright red as he immediately turned around, the image of you shirtless seared into his brain. “I meant in the bathroom,” Mammon muttered.

You finished changing and turned to face Mammon who was looking away from you. A slight blush rose to your cheeks as you realized what you had just done. “Sorry, you can look now,” you told him and he slowly turned around, as if he wasn’t sure if it was safe or not.

He relaxed a little bit once he saw you were fully clothed, and you moved to get in your bed. You stumbled a bit and Mammon’s arms were immediately around you, making sure you didn’t fall. You looked up at him and noticed your lips were inches apart from each other. He wanted so badly to lean in and kiss you, but he couldn’t have your first kiss with him be while you were too drunk to even remember it. 

So, he helped you get into your bed instead, making sure you were properly situated. He was about to leave when suddenly he felt a surprisingly strong force pulling him down.

He let out a small shout as you pulled him into the bed, snuggling into him. “Wha?” he began to ask, but you cut him off. “I missed you tonight,” you told him, your head on his chest while your arm wrapped around his torso.

Mammon was blushing furiously as his heart was pounding in chest. By the time he finally got his thoughts together to respond, he could hear you softly snoring. He finally let his arms relax around you as he closed his eyes. Why did you have to have so much power over him?

Levi stood there looking at you and a frown fell upon his lips. How could he not help you - his true friend? He let out a small sigh as he nervously stood there, not knowing what to do to help you. He cleared his throat after a moment before asking, “Do you - need any help?” 

Your head snapped up to see him standing there, looking very unsure of himself. “I can make sure you get to your room okay,” Levi suggested. “Sure,” you said with a small smile. You moved to stand up and you were a bit wobbly. Levi took a step forward to help you but when he noticed you had steadied yourself, he backed off, not wanting to overstep. 

He followed you to your room and didn’t think about telling you to change clothes. He’s never really had to deal with someone this drunk before. He helped you get in the bed immediately. He thought the best thing for you would be sleep. 

You laid in the bed not moving, and Levi was about to leave, but he took another glance at you and you looked too still. He went into panic mode once again as he moved forward, gently touching the side of your neck to check for a pulse. 

He let out a breath of relief as he felt it, but the coolness of his hands felt nice on your overheating body, so you reached your hand up to his and interlaced your fingers with his. He let out a startled noise, but didn’t pull away. There was something about the way your hand felt entwined with his that made him never want to let go. He stayed frozen for a moment before deciding to sit down on the bed. It wouldn’t be a bad thing if he stayed a little longer, right? Just to make sure you weren’t going to die. 

Satan followed the rest of his brothers to leave the room, but something stopped him. He paused for a moment before turning back around to look at you. You hadn’t moved from your spot on the couch. He was angry, for sure, but he couldn’t leave you to pass out on the couch.

He slowly approached you and you immediately looked up at him as soon as he got in front of you. You were looking up at him with big, helpless eyes and his heart swelled. He knew that even if he was angry at what happened, he couldn’t be truly angry at you. 

Satan gently brushed the back of his hand over your cheek before letting out a small sigh and helping you stand up. He helped support your weight as he managed to get you to your bedroom. He went to your closet and quickly picked whatever clothes looked comfortable, not wanting to rummage through your belongings without your permission. 

He handed you the clothes and then guided you to the bathroom. You gave him a small smile and went inside doing your best to change. You managed to slip into the bottoms, but getting changed into the top was a different story. You managed to get your current top most of the way off when it snagged in your hair.  Great. As if you weren’t already embarrassed enough as it was.

You let out a sigh of frustration and you heard Satan shuffle from outside the door. “Are you okay?” he asked, his voice filled with concern. “I’m, uh, stuck,” you replied, a blush covering your cheeks. Satan was confused and asked, “Is it alright if I come in.”

You nodded your head and then realized he couldn’t see you. “Yes,” you said, and the door slowly opened. Satan blushed when he noticed your shirt was still off but focused on the task at hand. He moved to stand right behind you and carefully untangled the top from your hair. 

His fingers brushed gently against your back, sending a shiver down your spine. His blush deepened when he felt you shiver and he closed his eyes to regain his composure. He had imagined you shirtless many times, but it was never under this pretense. 

“Got it,” he said softly, removing the top from your hair. “Thank you,” you told him, slipping the new shirt on before exiting the bathroom. You moved over to your bed and sat down on it. You looked over at Satan and he was standing there, unsure what to do at this point.

“Would you stay with me tonight?” you asked him, your eyes filled with hope. Satan could never say no to you. “Of course,” he replied, getting into the bed next to you. You didn’t overbear him with cuddles, not wanting to push him out of his comfort zone.

He stayed laying on his back until you were fast asleep, and then he turned to face you. He cupped your cheek before leaning forward and placing a kiss on your forehead. He wished he could understand what about you made him have such strong feelings for you.

Asmo stood still for a minute, taking in your appearance. You were absolutely wasted. He sympathized with you. He had been in the same position many times over the countless years he had been alive. As soon as his brothers were gone, he approached you and titled your chin up to look up at him. “Come on, hun,” he said, carefully helping you up.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you,” he told you, brushing some hair out of your face. “Thanks Asmo,” you replied, making him smile. He helped you get to your room and immediately looked at your closet. He turned to face you and told you, “You look absolutely stunning in that outfit, Y/N. I definitely made the right choice when I got it for you.” A blush coated your cheeks, and you looked down to hide it.

“But,” Asmo continued, tilting your head back up to lock eyes, “You can’t sleep in it.” He then moved over to your closet and searched your clothes finding the perfect outfit. It was comfortable and cute. Leave it to Asmo to make sure you look good even when you’re too drunk to remember it. 

He led you to the bathroom and told you, “I’ll be here when you’re done.” You gave him a small smile and went inside. You changed quickly and then opened the door again where Asmo was waiting eagerly. 

You tried to take a step out, but he stopped you. “You’re not done quite yet,” he told you. He quickly lifted you onto the counter, surprising you with his strength. He then pulled out multiple beauty supplies to take off your makeup and wash your face. After all, being drunk wasn’t an excuse to damage your skin by sleeping in your makeup. 

You let him do whatever he wanted, enjoying the feeling of his hands gently rubbing over your face. When he was satisfied, he helped you back off the counter and led you to your bed. He laid you down on it before moving towards the lights.

“Asmo?” you asked, not wanting him to leave. He smiled at the sound of his name and turned the lights off. “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere,” he told you, climbing into the bed. He would never take advantage of you while you were in this state, but there was also no chance he was going to leave you alone. 

He quickly wrapped you in his arms, letting you know he was there for you, and he gently stroked your hair, making sure you were as comfortable as could be. You fell asleep pretty quickly and Asmo listened to the sound of you breathing. He thought about the night and couldn’t help the jealousy that rose back up in him. Next time, he - and he alone - was going to be the one who made sure you had the night of your life.

Concern filled his eyes as he looked at you while his brothers each gave their own lecture. He understood where they were coming from, and he was equally upset about it in his own way. But, couldn’t they see that you weren’t feeling your best right now? Maybe some food would help you feel better.

As soon as the “intervention” was called to an end for the night, Beel went straight to the kitchen to whip up a snack. He held off the urge to eat everything he had made and brought the snack right back to you.

He let out a small breath of relief as he noticed you hadn’t passed out yet and came and sat next to you on the couch. He offered you the plate and you gave him a warm smile as you graciously took it. “Thank you,” you told him. He smiled back at you, happy that he had found some way to help. 

When you were done eating, Beel wasted no time in getting you to bed. You let out a small shout of surprise as he swept you into his arms, lifting you off the couch. You could have protested, but you were so tired. It was nice being carried to your room, especially by Beel.

It felt so warm and safe in his arms, you nearly fell asleep on the short walk to your bedroom. In fact, you thought you had when you felt Beel set you down on your bed. His mind was on a one-way track to making sure you got some rest, and there were no stops for a change of clothes or taking off your makeup.

Beel sat next to you on the bed for a moment, gently patting the top of your head. A frown suddenly formed on his face as he thought about the idea of you getting nightmares tonight. You did have a lot to drink, and he had heard that alcohol could have negative impacts on a human’s sleep.

The thought of you waking up alone and scared was too much for Beel to handle. So, he decided he would stay the night. He had gotten comfortable in the bed when you had suddenly shifted, your head leaning against his shoulder. 

A blush coated his cheeks as he dared to turn his head and look at you. Your sleeping form was so cute! He let out a small sigh as he went back to staring up at the ceiling. He was so into you.

Belphie couldn’t help the small smile that rested on his face as his brothers all left the living room. He looked over your appearance and the smile slowly turned into a smirk as he went to sit down next to you. He can’t just take care of you. No, he has to tease you a bit first.

He frowned a bit when you didn’t lift your head to acknowledge his presence, but decided to push further anyway. “You’re always getting in trouble, you know?” Belphie asked, gently poking your cheek.

You finally turned to look at him, a playful glare in your eyes. “It’s not like I meant for things to get this far out of hand,” you replied. It wasn’t a lie. “When you’re with Solomon, things always get out of hand,” he teased back. You let out an unsatisfied huff and Belphie got the message. He would tease you more tomorrow.

He stood up and pulled you up from the couch, leading you to your room. He’s another one that doesn’t care about appearance as much as the others, so your clothes and makeup are a non-factor.

Instead, he leads you to your bed before turning the lights off and shutting the door. Maybe you wanted cuddles, maybe you didn’t. He never thought about asking you. Instead, he figured he should be compensated for taking the time to help you up to your room. And, he wanted cuddles.

So, as soon as you were laying in bed, he slid in next to you, wrapping his arms around you as he snuggled in as close as he could. “Belphie,” you muttered with a blush, not expecting him to do that. He didn’t respond, pretending he was asleep, even though you knew full well that he couldn’t fall asleep that quickly. 

You let out a small giggle at his childish behavior before deciding to take advantage of the cuddles. You shifted slightly to get a little more comfortable and then found yourself easily falling asleep. 

Soon, your soft snores and even breaths were the only thing Belphie could hear and he opened his eyes to take another look at you. You looked so peaceful when you were sleeping. He had never felt like this about anyone before.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Would I be the asshole if I refused to pay my phone bill?

📱🧾♿️ <- To recognize my post for later :)

The title is probably already a bit of a red flag, but I genuinely didn’t know how else to word it…

For context: I am a disabled, chronically and mentally ill trans guy who recently turned 20. I haven’t left home yet for a lot of reasons, some being that my parents promised to let me live rent-free so long as I was in college (which I am, just not currently for the summer) as well as the fact that they really haven’t raised me to be very independent and rely solely on them (which is honestly a whole other can of worms), but primarily because of my disability. It isn’t safe for me to live on my own, as I faint commonly, cannot stand up for more than maybe fifteen minutes at a time roughly, and sometimes am unable to eat for long periods of time due to debilitating nausea which leads to weakness. I also have severe chronic pain in my limbs and gut, something I’ve had most of my life, while my chronic illness I’ve only had for about a year and a half now and am still struggling to adjust to.

Because of my disability, I also can’t work a traditional job. I offer art commissions online, because I’m very passionate about art and it’s one of the few things I’m good at, and I haul in a decent amount, but certainly not enough to live off of. I make enough to set aside some good savings (I’m currently saving for a wheelchair, as that might grant me more freedom and the potential to get a job at least for the summer) while also indulging myself in buying the occasional fatty treat (I’m very underweight so that’s not an issue, and I was raised essentially in an almond mom household all my life, so this form of eating is really the only sense of control I have over my life, as I’m fully dependent on my parents elsewise).

The issue has come upon relatively recently. I feel like a huge entitled brat for it as well, and if others believe the same, I sincerely don’t blame you.

My mom sat me down the other day and said that she expected me to start paying at least one bill. She offered my cheapest bill (which would be for my phone; my parents bought it, and it’s theirs, they’re just letting me use it as my own.. I don’t own a whole lot of “my” items myself) and asked what I thought about that. I was fully honest with her: if I had a steady stream of income, I wouldn’t hesitate to offer to pay for all of my bills, but with the way it stands, I just don’t make enough month-to-month to regularly afford the bill. I also do my commissions through my phone, so if I could afford the bill, my phone would be turned off, and I’d be unable to continue.

My mom got very upset and started talking to me like a child (though she really has every right to, honestly, and I know that). She went on a very long rant about teaching me responsibility, and how I can’t rely on my parents forever, and that I need to grow up at some point… All things that I fully agree with. I sincerely want to! I want nothing more than to be fully independent. But the way it stands, my parents cover my entire medical bills and they pay for my meds… And I just don’t make enough to survive on my own, and I can just barely afford a meal or two from a sandwich shop I enjoy twice a month to keep my sanity in check because I’m usually bedbound.

I tried explaining to her that I would if I could, sincerely, and that I’m not trying to be a leech or lazy, but she wasn’t having it. She just scolded me and said that if I can afford to eat out every month, then I can afford the phone bill. But again, with the way things are, I don’t think I’d be able to do it every month without tapping into my savings, which again, is for my wheelchair so I can regain some sense of freedom for myself. I’m seriously debating just telling her no straight out, but I don’t know what the aftermath might look like…

So, sincerely: Am I in the wrong here? Should I just swallow my protests and cough up the money somehow? I really don’t know and would love an outside perspective.

[gay-dorito-dust]

LOOK. This post is for a huge joke. Pardon me for God's sake

Bill can control people's bodies? He takes over their minds and does shit.

What if he took over a person's body to find out what physical sex is?

He still wouldn't understand what's so interesting about it. BUT! After that a reader was born lol

Bill somehow finds out about it and when he meets the reader he dramatically screams "I AM YOUR FATHER/MOTHER (he takes a second to try to remember whose human body he was in for effect)!!!! YOU WERE CREATED BY ME! YOU ARE MY CHILD!!!"

The Pines family is already on automatic in horror looking at Bill, then at the reader, thinking their a traitor, but then all beginning to question the reality of what's happening

What if! Reader gets powers since they’re technically Bill’s kid? I just like the thought of that for some reason! Reader who’s bill’s kid but has powers, it’s not the least weirdest thing in Gravity Falls in comparison to their parentage.

I can just imagine you’re hanging out with the Pines family, having no recollection of your father/mother as they were never talked about but there was obvious signs that they weren’t…normal to say the least. Other than that you weren’t all too miffed about not knowing who they were as they clearly had no intentions of staying even if they did.

So imagine while your on your phone, Mabel is doing some arts and crafts, Stan was watching tv while Dipper and Ford were comparing notes they both made about their latest monster hunt, Bill just appears out of nowhere and was about to say something sarcastic but his eye landed on you and all he says is;

Bill: You! *points at you* I am your creator and you side with my enemies to kill me! I did not raise you like this at all!

You: who the fuck- you didn’t even raise me! Who the fuck are you!

Bill: your mom/dad! You’re grounded forever for interacting with the enemy!

Mabel is looking between you and Bill much like everyone else. ‘You’re y/n’s mom/dad? Is this a joke because it was a bad one. How can you be y/n’s parent! You’re a triangle!’ She cries.

Ford furrows his brows. ‘Unless he’s possessed someone during this time.’

The pines family just all looked to you and you couldn’t help but feel a little upset at how quick they were to suddenly become suspicious of you.

You: why the fuck are you looking at me! I’m learning this just the same as you! What? you’re thinking that I was playing coy on Bill’s order? *scoffs* typical.

Bill: *appears on your shoulder* it’s just me and you kiddo. You don’t need these losers. Parent and child, ruling over Gravity Falls side by side, we could make this a family business!

You: piss off Dorito chip. I don’t owe you shit.

Bill: like a chip off the old block aren’t cha! *playfully punches your shoulder*

The pines family: ????

[snailsgoingdowntown]

Help, I Reincarnated as the Female Lead’s Sister-in-Law!

Story Masterlist

Chapter 2

'Slight' Yandere! Dion Agriche x Fem! Reader

Arranged marriage AU.

Warnings: implied child abuse by Lant, a male doctor checks out your privates for health reasons, dried vaginal blood, a bit suggestive but the Reader hates it, a little hint of depression, vaginal pain. Please tell me if I miss anything. Dion also doesn’t show up in this chapter.

Disclaimer: I do NOT condone any of the harmful and dangerous actions/behaviors that take place in this piece of FICTION. These actions/behaviors should not be normalized or romanticized as they are extremely toxic and dangerous.

This blog writes and interacts with DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT/DARK CONTENT

MINORS/BLANK BLOGS/BLOGS THAT DO NOT REBLOG FANART/FANCTION DNI.

Chapter summary: you expected to wake up alone… just not to have a doctor walk through that door while your mind is scrambled.

Word Count: 2688k

Slightly edited.

===

When you woke up, the sky was still dark, and you were alone.

Instead of your new husband, a throbbing headache is what greets you once your eyes flutter open. It feels like you were bashed in the head with a metal bat, left to suffer and die alone. In your new prison that was disguised as a mansion, designed to eat away everyone’s sanity.

Taints their morals black, dripping until they’re all bled out. Leaving nothing but a sadistic bitch, any hope of a better personality, a good worldview, broken before it could even form. But you’re not like them.

You were not raised here. You weren’t groomed into being daddy’s little weapon – not used as a means to an end. Not viewed as an object, nor were you expected to seduce the son of an enemy to get information. You were not raised in fear but with love, soft touches and words of genuine praise and concerned frowns.

Your mother wasn’t one of many wives. She didn’t cower in fear if your father was upset. She didn’t treat you as a stepping stone, guiding you into becoming something that would almost guarantee she wouldn’t be disposed of. Or treat you like a trophy only to throw you away once you lose meaning, didn’t have to fear that one day, your father would decide that you held no purpose, thus killing you off. She was a kind mother who didn’t turn a blind eye to her children’s suffering.

You had no beef with your siblings, either. There was no need to fight a bloody battle for the throne; no need to rise above each other to ensure you would see another day. No ‘teachers’ that would quickly kill you if you ‘failed’ in your father’s eyes. And despite the petty arguments and cold shoulders, your bond was strong – held together like glue.

Your father wasn’t perfect, but he was fair. He was loyal to a fault – didn’t let his eyes wonder. Neither did he raise his children to become thieves, contact killers, treat them like trash and objects. He saw beyond your ‘usefulness’ – saw a person and not a tool. He was gentle and loving.

Your family wasn’t perfect, nor will they ever be. But they were warm.

But that warmness is turning cold.

Just thinking about it hurts.

The banging inside your skull rips you away from your thoughts, tightly shutting your eyes as if it would take away the smothering pain. If anything, the extra pressure just makes it worse, like a hammer was bashing your skull open while ripping your skin.

Something hot and wet streams down your cheeks.

“Hic…hic… I want to go home…” quietly sobbing, you shove your face into the pillow. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise, not having your new husband here. If he was…

‘… you look cute when you cry.’

“Ugh!” Muffling your shriek of frustration and horror with the pillow, you curse the man in question. You can’t even cry in peace! Not when that idiotic, possibly incestuous, dense brute of a man is your husband. A husband who likely would want his bride to cry instead of smiling so brightly it could rival the sun!

Knock, knock

Your head snaps up at the sound of the knock. Ah, right. They most likely want to check the sheets, if they haven’t already. You bite your lip. How many hours has it been since the deed was done? The sky was still dark, so maybe only a few hours. Or maybe it’s around the time the sun will start to show its face in just a few minutes.

Forcing yourself to rest on your knees, palms pressed against the mattress, you see the red stains beneath you. With heavy eyes you also look between your thighs – sticky blood that you didn’t bother washing away. Not that you could, there was no water nearby after the… event.

“Please excuse me, my lady.” A woman calls from the other side of the door, carefully opening it with a creak. The sound makes your ears bleed.

“Oh, you’re up,” she observes with surprise; it was obvious that she only called out by habit. You nod, unable to find your voice.

Her grey eyes rake over your nude form, from your puffy eyes to your bloodied inner thighs. You wonder how you look in her eyes. The nervousness only starts to kick in once she makes her way to you, her maid uniform swishing with each step. You sensed neither pity nor malice from her – she was simply doing her job. What exactly her job was you didn’t know.

Then, deep shame washes over you as she requests that you bare yourself to her. You felt dirty, tainted as you showed her the mess left between your legs and on the white mattress that will be replaced later today. Still, there was slight doubt clouding her eyes. You were told by both your mother and sister that the checker will always look at you with doubt, especially if your husband was nowhere in sight.

Even more so if there was no dried up white between your legs.

Your hand tingles in disgust as the memory of jerking him off resurfaces. You never want to go through that again, never want to sleep with him again. Forgetting having a child – you can’t even take him.

“My lady,” she starts after some hesitance, “may I call the doctor in?” Balking at her you don’t answer. Call the doctor. Why? Was it bad? Did it look fake? Did they want to open you up and make sure that the blood was from your vagina???

Just to see if you fucked that good for nothing bastard??

“M-may I ask why?” You stammer out, clenching the sheets below you. Did they really doubt you that much? Just because your forced-on-you husband left immediately afterwards.

The audacity. 

Especially when they were the ones who called him away.

You hold your tongue – she wasn’t your maid. You weren’t in your family estate now; you were in theirs. Like a parent waiting on their toddler to settle down, she remains quiet.

Once you’re of sound mind – as much as you could be – she answers with, “To check that everything went smoothly, my lady.” You don’t buy it. You can’t buy it when she looks at you expectedly, head held high and shoulders straight. After a beat of pause, you sigh out a ‘yes.’

“I’ll be right back. I’ll warm up a bath for you as well. It’ll help with the soreness.” And with that she’s gone, the door shutting behind her. Your shoulders slump as you stare at the door.

Will Dion return?

…. probably not. He didn’t even spare you a second glance after he had cleaned himself. He had left without a word.

Besides, what would you do if he came back? Greet him like a loving wife? Hide underneath the covers like a ‘coward’? Sneer at him like he wronged you?

Knock, knock

“My lady,” the maid has returned, yay. “I have brought the doctor. We are coming in.” She doesn’t even wait for your permission. Hah. Then again, why would she? You weren’t her master.

What you see surprises and makes you wary.

The doctor – a young man with long red hair that was tied up, bangs framing his face – introduces himself as Ash Katopodis. He bows while apologizing for coming, stating that the only woman doctor was on leave for her pregnancy. His honey brown eyes only show kindness.

You question it mentally. Why call in a male doctor for this sort of thing? Usually, at least back home, your parents would call for a woman doctor when it concerned…private matters. Sure, in your old, modern world, gynecologists could both be male and female. But this world is set in a different era.

Still, he’s most likely here to make sure the blood was yours and came from your nether regions.

Why else would he be here?

“It’s… nice to meet you. apologies for the um… mess.” Voice getting smaller with every word, you close your legs and wrap your arms around your chest. It was natural, you tell yourself. Who wouldn’t feel uncomfortable being seen in the nude by the opposite sex?

You look to the side. Soft rays of light start to light the room; it seems that the sun has woken up.

“Ah, don’t worry about it,” Ash gives a gentle smile as he walks to you, placing a suitcase on the floor next to the bed. Behind him the maid watches like a hawk. This family was known for employing strong personnel. Was she one of the strong ones?

Would she pin you down if you made a run for it?

“If you don’t mind, could you please lay on your back and spread your legs?” Despite yourself, you follow his instructions, wanting to get this over with. While he readies his supplies or whatever, you ask him, “Are you checking to see if I faked it?”

“Fake what?” He questions back, confused.

“Losing my virginity.”

He coughs as saliva gets stuck in his throat, dumbfounded. At what, do you wonder.

“N-no, my lady. It’s clear that…” you could feel his stare at your sore core. “…that you, erm, had an…. eventful night.”

“Then why…?”

He coughs into his fist, not willing to answer. Silence falls over the room as the gears turn in your mind. Was this actually… a checkup? To ensure your ridiculously large husband didn’t rip and tear something open? Did the Agriche family care about such matters?

Tilting your head, you give it thought.

Lant has ten wives with multiple children. That was the reason he married them all, no? To produce children, little kids he could forge into weapons. To feed into his own ego, thinking that having more than one wife meant he was better, more desirable than other men.

If his wives suffered any physical damage to their nether regions, they wouldn’t be able to give birth.

You guess… It makes sense.

“Alright,” you break the silence while taking deep breaths to ease your mind. Accepting your theory as fact, you force your legs to relax. Everything is done for their sake, you remind yourself. To make sure that his favorite son hadn’t ruined your insides was to ensure that you could be kept around with a purpose. Right.

“…if I may ask,” you hear the doctor rummaging through his suitcase. “How painful was it?”  There’s uneasiness in his voice, cautious with his tone.

Truthfully, you don’t want to answer. You don’t even want to remember it.

“…it felt like I was being cut in half,” you answer. You jolt when you hear the snap of gloves. Was there going to be pain?

Subconsciously your legs close.

“My lady, do there is no need to worry; Master Lant’s wives have gone through the same process. It will be quick if you cooperate.” Right, right. Just relax. You need to relax.

It’s easier said than done when you feel something poking at you before spreading your folds open.

Ash left with a black eye and ice pack, not blaming you for what happened.

---

Even in the hot bath, you can’t force your hands away from your face.

You had kicked him! That poor man… to be fair, the gloves were cold. He wasn’t your husband, of course you’d react that way. It’s normal, right?

To kick someone in the face as they inspect your privates. Especially when you were still sore and mentally torn. Even more when he kept asking those embarrassing questions-!

‘Do you recall how long the pain lasted?”

‘Did the young master prepare you, physically? Hm, how?... you know, the usual with fingers and such.’

‘Did you tense during ‘it’? If so, then there’s a possibility that it could have added to the pain.’

“…Why?” Your hands still cover your face even as the maid – you learned her name was Hana -washes your back with a rag. She treats you like you were made from glass, ready to crack at any moment.

“Why what, my lady?” She questions before ushering you to raise your harms. You only do so to get out of the water quicker. While nice, you were considering drowning yourself.

“Well… why must…” a wince is pulled from you as she helps pull you up; time to clean the dreaded area properly. You suck in a breath as she wipes down your inner thighs. The blood itself was cleaned before you even entered the bath – however, she was going to go in a second time. Just to be careful, she told you.

She doesn’t comment on the purple bruises on your hips. Or the dried blood that was underneath your fingertips – Dion’s blood, to be exact. She doesn’t comment on anything. Just going about her day, doing what she was paid for.

“I-I… I’m just wondering why… it hurts so much…,” it’s a half lie – you’re also wondering why you were married to him.

Hana takes a minute to answer. “Biology,” is what she tells you. Well, she’s not wrong, but still…

“…Hana,” your head turns towards her once she has you sit back down. The warm water swishes around you as you settle down. “Tell me, do you know what type of person he is?”

“Who, my lady?”

“Dion.” It’s hard to call him your husband out loud. It’s still hard to wrap your head around it. (Name) Agriche. The sound of it makes you sick.

Hana blinks at you owlishly, caught off guard. She opens her mouth only to close it immediately. Seems that she doesn’t know how to describe him. Which is fine, but you’d still rather hear her opinion. From reading the novel and webtoon, you know how Dion Agriche is supposed to be.

But things aren’t following the novel and webtoon. At least, not completely. You’re unsure of how the events will unfold now that you entered the scene. He still looks young, and Cassis Pedelian attended the wedding as well. Meaning that the beginning of the series hasn’t started yet.

Where are you in the timeline?

“Young master Dion…” she trails off, trying to find the words. “He’s… he’s a good swordsman, and the most likely to become the heir of the Agriche family. He always comes out on top within the siblings. He is not the affectionate type, I’m afraid.”

Ugh. Like you would want any of his affection to begin with. You just want to be left alone. You hate the way he looks at you.

Like he knew you.

And the way he treated you… he should have been completely dismissive. Ignoring you after kissing you when the vows were said - you can still feel his cold, repulsive lips.

The shudder that takes over your body doesn’t go unnoticed. Hana dips her fingers into the bath water to check the temperature. She nods her head in satisfaction after retrieving them.

You wait for her to continue but she doesn’t. Guess that’s all you’re going to get out of her.

“I see. If I may ask…, do you know the reason for our marriage?”

“I believe it is because Master Lant wanted to strike a deal with your father, my lady.”

It should surprise you; you should have gotten up and screamed, and asked her what she meant. Demanded that she tells you everything. But you don’t.

Instead, your eyes flutter close as you recall your conversation with your mother.

‘(Name), whatever they tell you… There’s more to it than that.’

You regret not asking what she had meant by that.

Now that your mind has settled, Ash’s snarky and whispered comment fills your head - 

‘That brute… couldn’t he have been more gentle?’ It’s too late to ask him what he meant by that - if anything, you had pretended you didn’t hear it. You need to wipe the memory away and never recall it again.

You sigh through your nose, worn out. Hana pours water over your head and readies the shampoo. The scent is familiar. Like lavender, your mother’s favorite that she passed onto you. It reminds you of home, back when you were a child, a teenager and finally, the seventeen-year-old girl you were months ago. Before news of a fiancé broke to you on your eighteenth birthday.

Your father didn’t tell you who it was right away. But the uneasiness in his eyes and the way his hands trembled while holding your shoulders should have worried you. But at the time you were too shocked to notice his odd behavior.

This familiar scent helps you relax. And you take the opportunity- after all, you’re in enemy territory. Black Agriche.

From here on out, your survival is a priority.

“Oh, that’s right. My lady.”

“Hm?”

“Young master Dion will be joining you for dinner.”

Why can’t lightning strike you down right now?

[clandestineivory]

Sorry I didn't see any of your older posts, but what's SilentIvory?

Oh wait I just looked and I realized what it was nvm

But can I get a Silent Salt + Longan Dragon x fragile reader? Could be hcs or a one shot if you like

SilentIvory x Fragile Reader: Cuddle Time!

(Yes this is a ship between Longan and Silent Salt + the reader. Don’t come at me I just really like these two.)

Summary: You, as a fragile and sweet Cookie can’t help but be…cherished? Yes, that would be the word. Cherished by your Dragon and Beast Cookie lovers. It isn’t really that bad, the three of you getting all cozy together. You just have to ignore the fact that they’re both murderers and Longan actually ate Cookies-

TW: Bickering. Old marriage kind shit. Beast x Dragon, and all this is my personal headcanons turned into lil oneshot

The evening was…surprisingly peaceful. Usually there’d be some mumbling and bickering coming from your two partners, Silent Salt and Longan. Despite living with them for quite a while, they always treated you as a child. It was probably because you’ve been known to be frail for your whole life. They treated you like a glass swan, basically. You loved them both, of course…but there were times where you knew you could handle a task and they’d baby you.

You quietly stepped over to the bedroom, where you overheard a little whisper. Longan, you thought, was the one speaking. You knew their voice was that soothing yet intimidating voice, while Silent Salt’s voice was more…quiet, perhaps raspy in a way.

“We should rest. There is no use in arguing.”

“…self-absorbed…nightmare fuel.” Silent Salt had grumbled back, and a scoff came from the dragon.

You noticed that Silent Salt turned their head towards you, seeing you in the doorway and calmly walking over to look at you. Their helmet was off, you noticed. Scars were littered across their face, and their blind eyes softened despite not truly seeing you. After all, their helmet was enchanted, letting the knight see whatever came their way and more. Vulnerable was an understatement when it came to your quiet partner, so you were lucky that they trusted you and Longan enough for them to take away something as precious as sight.

“Ah, our apologies, y/n. Just some bickering, nothing that would concern you.” The dragon murmured, walking over to you and pressing a kiss to your forehead before picking you up and taking you to bed. The Ivory Dragon could see your small frown and frustrated look, and they raised a brow in confusion.

“You’re upset. Why is that?” While the dragon was quite the intellectual, they certainly couldn’t process the fact that you were upset about something. It unsettled them, in a way. After all, they were the all-knowing and all-seeing Longan Dragon themself. It frustrates them when something happened without their knowledge of it.

“I just wish that you would both stop treating me as if I’m a child. You know that’s not what I am. I know of the things you’ve done, the cookies you’ve harmed and plan to harm….and I can’t help but feel left out. I wouldn’t mind hearing the two of you bickering. It makes me smile. I’ve had a few petty comments about you myself.”

“…” Silent Salt’s ears practically perked up, and they started to walk over to you and Longan, before reaching out for your face. You allowed them to with a soft smile. The knight could practically feel your smile brightening them up, and they smiled back.

“…you’re right, I suppose. Come…time to rest…” murmured the Beast in their raspy tone, eagerly grabbing onto both yours and Longan’s hand and dragging the two of you to bed. Of course, Silent Salt had already gotten used to almost all the rooms within the Lustrous Longan Palace. There was no need to doubt that.

—

As the three of you settled into bed, Silent Salt taking off the last of their armor and changing into more comfortable attire, they walked back to the lavish bed, wrapping their arms around you tightly and pressing little, yet ticklish pecks to your shoulders and cheek. Longan stared at the two of you and couldn’t help but let out a content sigh, before wrapping their much more larger arms around Silent Salt and you, effectively and effortlessly spooning you both.

“You two are like little mice compared to me. It’s amusing, is it not?”

“And what are you, a snake?”

“…don’t compare me to a lowly serpent.”

“But you were practically asking for that.”

“…shush. Rest so we can…argue about it tomorrow.”