#it just makes me sad how negative we are on here sometimes

[evermorre]

.

[orcelito]

Having lost my cat, my uncle, my great grandmother, my grandma's best friend (& one of the people who helped raise me), AND my dad all within the span of 9 months,

I have little sympathy for people who use deaths as an excuse to be an asshole. I get it, it sucks. Get the fuck over it. Your grief is not an excuse to treat others like shit. What the fuck.

[cripplecharacters]

Does Your Scarred Character Have to Hate Themself?

[large text: Does Your Scarred Character Have to Hate Themself?]

(TLDR: no. literally no.)

A frequent topic that shows up around facial differences is the self-hatred, self-disgust, self-insert-negative-emotion that we must surely experience. I want to ask* writers without FDs - why? Why do you feel about us in such a way that that's the most common way of depicting us?

*- rhetorical question. I promise I know the answers, but I'm not sure if writers do.

It's frankly worrying to me. Is it really that common to assume that disabled people have this internal, never-ending hatred for themselves? The overwhelming majority of us don't. We hate inaccessibility, when people stare, or some symptoms when they get in the way, or how expensive being disabled is, but I find the concept of us being so completely disturbed by our own disabilities extremely strange. It’s “tragedy porn” intersecting “most basic ableism”.

“But trauma!”

[large text: “But trauma!”]

Trauma of what! People with facial differences don't have some sort of default trauma that we come with like it’s a factory setting. We are a group of people with tens of thousands of stories and experiences!

“Trauma of experiencing ableism/disfiguremisia” - that's better, at least this means something. If you're writing a story about this, please get a sensitivity reader with a facial difference. You can assume how we feel all you want, but in my experience these assumptions are often bizarre and unrealistic. Or just end up writing the same “disability so sad” sob story that everyone has seen a billion times. If you want to write about disfiguremisia, you need to understand the nuance and have more than just the basic level knowledge (which 99% of people don’t have either). If you can’t do that, don’t write about it. Simple as that.

“Trauma of the accident” - thankfully, the accident is an event and a facial difference is a disability. If you want to connect these two like they're one and the same, you're almost surely going to demonize disability. People with traumatic spinal cord injuries, acquired amputees, people with TBI, people with acquired facial differences - we participate in our communities, we have hobbies, we date, we play with our dogs. Disability isn't a death sentence. Media who make it feel like it is certainly don't help people who do suddenly become disabled, don't you think?

Here's a post by @blindbeta about blind characters becoming blind through trauma that’s better made than anything I could hope to write here. I heavily recommend giving it a read.

And, I can't stress this enough - most of us didn't have “the accident”, most of us are born like this! "Traumatic scars" isn't the only facial difference that exists, far from it, it's only one of thousands. It's 99% of our representation and "representation". If you want to make a character with FD - please consider that we aren't a monolith. Just like not all physical disabilities are "wheelchair user with paralysis", not all facial differences are "traumatic scar with somehow no nerve damage".

The overrepresentation of it is incredibly telling, and sometimes - or very frequently - feels like the writer doesn’t actually even want to deal with us. They want to use our disability as a way to cheap drama, moral metaphors, tragic backstories. Not to represent us as living people who are much more similar to you than you apparently think.

Now, I do have enough awareness to know that that's a big part of the appeal. “Horrific Thing #2456 happens” and boom, instant drama! Of course, it's a reasonable response that they would hide their disability for years, avoid talking about it in any way, and magically change their personality to be mean and reclusive, or at least be constantly soooo sad about how much it sucks to be disabled, right?

Do I really need to say that having your character becoming disabled be the worst thing ever is ableism 101? We have been talking about this for so long at this point. Writing about the process of adapting to a specific disability is better left to people who have actual experience in it.

To give an example that will hopefully resonate more with Tumblr users, I will use the fact that I'm also gay. It's not perfect by any means but probably much more familiar territory.

Imagine, let's say, a character. He's gay. The story he's in is supposedly progressive, certainly not trying to be homophobic. The character has experienced an incident, maybe an act of aggression or a hate crime, that happened because he’s gay, which was traumatic. Happens IRL, sure. So of course the character starts hating being gay. He talks about how gross and disgusting it is, he never lets anyone know that he could be “one of them”, certainly not take a stance against homophobia. You can't mention him without mentioning the accident, they're seemingly fused together. No gay love, joy, even basic happiness, he would actually choose to be straight in a heartbeat if given the option to and complains that he can't. This is shown as a neutral, obvious thing that a gay man would do, no one comments on it. He stays like this the whole time, unless there’s a plot twist in the last 10 pages where the world is now magically perfect ("we fixed discrimination, yay!"). This is the only LGBT character in the story.

Keep in mind that there are people similar to this in real life, living with extreme internalized homophobia.

Is this, in your opinion, realistic and thoughtful representation? How does it feel when written by a cishet writer, versus a gay writer who is recalling his experiences? Do you think that it's reasonable for the majority of media representation to be like this, or very close to it? How would it affect younger gay people who might already be uncomfortable with being queer? Are gay men the target audience, or are they not even considered as a group of people who read books? Is this helping or damaging the general public's idea of how it is to be gay? Why or why not?

The Masterpiece

[large text: The Masterpiece]

From 13 to 19 of May, we are celebrating Face Equality week (what a coincidence!). It’s important to me in general - and I wish it was more important to abled people, but I digress - especially its theme for this year.

“My Face is a Masterpiece”

Great statement, it represents the community well, I do enjoy how bold it is. Very cool stuff, I love the work our advocates are doing!

But why do I bring this up?

Well, to very non-subtly show that we aren’t a self-hating group of people. We are a community, a community saying “our faces are beautiful, look!”, we are saying “treat us equally, and do it now!���. Our activism isn’t about self-disgust. It’s about fighting your-disgust. 

Why can’t writers keep up? Why are you still stuck decades behind?

Is this the only reason I bring it up?

The Call to Celebration

[large text: The Call to Celebration]

FEI, the org behind organizing it, asks a very simple question (emphasis mine):

“Why do we so often see stories about facial difference as a ‘tragedy’, when they should be about triumph?” “Calling all artists, allies, creatives, galleries.  You can rewrite the story to bring about #FaceEquality and celebrate the unique artistry found in every face. Your participation this #FaceEqualityWeek will help to tell the real story, that there is a masterpiece in every face.”

Here. We are calling for you to stop. Directly from the biggest international advocacy alliance group that's out there. If you create, this is for you.

The last argument to not have your character with a facial difference hate themselves? Because we don’t want this. We are tired and frustrated. For me personally, I’m also offended by this kind of assumption. We aren’t tragedies or cheap entertainment for abled people to pity or be horrified by. We are people, and if you can’t internalize that, you have no reason to write about us.

For once, celebrate us. Happy Face Equality Week!

mod Sasza

[minus-plus-zer0]

While You're Gone

♡ Genre: Fluff, not as sad as the title sounds ♡ Pairing: Bakugou x Fem!Reader ♡ Tags: Aged up, established relationships, clingy/pining/dorky/needy/loser Bakugou (aka regular Bakugou)

You abandoned Bakugou at home to buy groceries alone, you traitor.

Bakugou couldn't forgive this. Currently, he laid flat on the couch, face down. Once you got back, he wouldn't let you rest your weary feet on such a comfy spot. You'd have to deal with him, whether you liked it or not.

He couldn't believe how truly callous you were on the inside. It went against everything he knew of you. Bakugou had dated you for a few years now, and had been in love with you even prior to that. He was dead set on marrying you at this point. And yet... you betrayed him.

He easily recalled the moment, like it was only five minutes ago (it was).

"It won't be long, Katsuki!" you said, while opening your apartment front door. "I promise I'll get you a nice, tasty snack!"

"I'm not a dog, I don't need treats." Bakugou's hands were shoved deep into his pockets as he approached you. "I need my fucking girlfriend. It's our day off!"

"You have your girlfriend every single night," you said, patting his cheek. "You live with your girlfriend every single day of your life. And you kiss your girlfriend every morning before work. You are too needy if you want more than that."

He scowled but did not fight back against your intrusive hand. "A girlfriend is supposed to love me, not leave. Why can't I just go with you?"

"Because if we go together, we'll get distracted again, or you might start another argument with an elderly shopper, or you might even prevent me from making bad purchases! That's why you can't go!"

"But that's--"

"Goodbye, Katsuki! I will see you in a few hours!"

You shut the door behind you. He still couldn't believe it, even now.

As you left, you wondered to yourself one question that had always been on your mind, "What does Bakugou do while you are gone?" If you had a pet camera installed, you would've seen the antics your boyfriend got up to in the following moments...

Time passed by while Bakugou held down the fort. Although Bakugou tried to continue defending the couch, his boredom overwhelmed his spitefulness towards you and it forced him to do something productive.

While you were gone, Bakugou entered argument after argument with anyone he could to blow off some steam. His texts were filled with jabs at Kirishima, Kaminari, Sero, and more. It wasn't long until they correctly guessed that Bakugou's bad mood was due to your absence. Bakugou swiftly blocked them.

When he couldn't complain to other people, Bakugou sometimes grumbled to himself, speaking to nobody as he vented about his day.

"Stupid couch..."

"Stupid food..."

"Stupid bills! Fuck you!"

Occasionally, Bakugou thought you came home early. He would then poke his head around the house, checking to see if you were home. But more often than not it was just the sound of his neighbors' doors opening and closing, and he grew even more irritated than before. You weren't answering your texts either.

What's worse, there were little reminders of you all around the house. It was only natural, seeing as how you two lived here together. Every time Bakugou started focusing on something negative, he'd be reminded of you and how you'd scold him for thinking that way. It felt like you were still scolding him, even now. He missed it already.

Without you around, Bakugou persisted in his negativity. He would walk down to the ground floor of the apartment complex you lived in to get mail and still managed to yell at a minimum of one person during the trip. Bakugou wouldn't stray far from home knowing that you could be back at any minute, and returned soon enough to double-check if you arrived while he wasn't looking. You didn't.

While cleaning up, Bakugou found some clothes that you stole from him in your dresser. He stole them right back and replaced them with other clothes he owned that he thought would look even better on you, hoping you would surprise him one day by wearing them. He thought of himself as quite clever for doing so, and couldn't wait to see when his masterful plots came to fruition.

After cleaning the house, prepping dinner, and fulfilling his daily quota of pissing off a certain number of innocent individuals, Bakugou was exhausted. He had nothing productive left to do. He couldn't get involved in his normal hobbies like working out or hiking because it would take too much time and the day was almost over. He needed you home.

Finally, you opened the door while lugging around heavy groceries. "Katsuki! I'm here!"

"Dammit, text first!" Bakugou rose from the couch to take a bag from your arms.

"Thank you," you said, as you both set the groceries down on the kitchen counter. You kissed him on the lips quickly, but he retaliated with a much stronger kiss that pushed you back a step.

"Your welcome," Bakugou said, teasingly. "Got so bored without ya here. There's only reminders of you around the house."

"Well, it's probably 'cause I live here." You laughed a little and hugged him. Obviously he hugged back. "You can think of me all the time all you want. I give you my full permission."

"So you're haunting my head now, are ya?" Bakugou kissed the top of your head.

"I've always haunted you!" You kissed his chin. "Even before we were together! And I'll haunt you long after I'm gone..."

"Don't say that. I don't want ya gone." He harshly kissed your sweet lips again to prove he was telling the truth. He held your precious face in his hands. "We'll always be together."

"Always. So, what did you do while I was gone?"

"Tch. Why don't you stay home next time? Then you'd know."

You really needed to install that pet camera one of these days...

(Inspired by videos of "what does your cat do while you're away?", only instead of a cat it's your boyfriend! I think the clingy separation anxiety of these cats left at home perfectly matches Bakugou 110%!)

[baldval]

heyy! You dont have to do this if it makes you uncomfortable it is a little darker…

can i request overlords finding out that reader selfharms? Like they knew she was unstable but they didnt think that much

thank you!!!

BEING COMFORTED BY HAZBIN!₊˚⊹♡

characters: alastor, vox, velvette, valentino, lucifer, adam

warnings: sad reader, slightly ooc adam (that man is so hard to write omg)

a/n: ik i said i'm comfortable w darker asks, i just don't really feel ok w writing about such heavy/negative topics (especially sh), but don't worry anon, should've added that mb. anyways, i give you hazbin characters comforting reader in return 🫶🫶

ALASTOR:

ᯓ he’s not exactly a ‘sit down and talk about feelings’ type of person

ᯓ but he can tell when something’s wrong

ᯓ and he wants nothing more but to make you feel like you’re on top of the world

ᯓ he sees your pouty face when you get home

ᯓ “hey, darling, come look,” he says

ᯓ he’d been at work when you’d left

ᯓ so he’s had some time to figure out what to do for you without making it seem like he’s prying

ᯓ he’ll ask you about what’s bothering you once you’ve relaxed

ᯓ he plops down on the couch, dragging you with him

ᯓ your favorite movie is paused on the tv, waiting to be played

ᯓ “i found an extended version. with bloopers and deleted scenes and everything,” he murmurs

ᯓ the entire movie, his hand is rubbing up and down your back

ᯓ his fingers sometimes creep up your neck, playing gently with your hair

ᯓ the entire thing is extremely soothing

ᯓ you know he knows something’s wrong

ᯓ and you also know he’s going to do everything in his power to fix it

ᯓ and you’re so grateful he just loves you

VOX:

ᯓ he doesn’t need you to say anything, ever

ᯓ he just knows what you need

ᯓ when he comes home and finds you in bed early, he knows you’ve had a difficult day

ᯓ he doesn’t know what happened, but he won’t ask until you’re feeling better

ᯓ he changes out of his work clothes and just gets into bed with you

ᯓ when you don’t say anything either, he pulls you into a cuddle, one hand pressing your head to his chest and the other cupping your hip

ᯓ “hi, vox.”

ᯓ he peppers your face in kisses

ᯓ “feeling off?” he asks

ᯓ you nod

ᯓ his fingers go to stroke your jaw

ᯓ “you can talk to me, you know. i want to make it better,” he tells you

ᯓ so you tell him everything

ᯓ whatever the issue was, the next day, he’s found some way to solve it

ᯓ just for you

ᯓ anything for you

VELVETTE:

ᯓ the minute you come home from work, exhaustion and misery rolling off of you in waves, she demands to know what’s wrong

ᯓ “is someone bothering you? is it your boss again? because i can get him fired.”

ᯓ you tell her everything

ᯓ she promises to help you with whatever it is that’s causing you trouble

ᯓ she’d tip the earth off it’s axis if you asked

ᯓ “come here, i want a kiss,” she tells you

ᯓ you very happily oblige

ᯓ she spends the entire night just spoiling (and worshiping) you

ᯓ the sheets of your bed are tangled between both your legs

ᯓ you’ve never felt more loved

ᯓ she murmurs about how your aniversary is coming up

ᯓ and tells you to get your nails done and dress pretty

ᯓ you don’t really know how you got here

ᯓ but you’re not upset

ᯓ you smile up at the ceiling, delightedly dazed

ᯓ you don’t even remember why you were upset

VALENTINO:

ᯓ he feels what you feel

ᯓ and at this point he can never leave you alone

ᯓ he NEEDS to be with you 24/7

ᯓ so naturally it’s like he’s dying when you come home looking upset

ᯓ “hey, no kiss hello?” he whines

ᯓ that manages to get you to laugh

ᯓ he smiles at your smiling

ᯓ you go over to kiss him and he catches your wrist before you walk off

ᯓ “no, c’mere,” he insists

ᯓ he tugs you into his lap and winds his arms around your waist

ᯓ he sets his chin on your shoulder

ᯓ “why’re you upset?”

ᯓ “oh, it’s nothing, val.”

ᯓ “bullshit.”

ᯓ you spill

ᯓ he rubs circles into your hip bone

ᯓ “i’d be upset, too,” he admits

ᯓ he kisses all up your neck

ᯓ “but we don’t have to think about that at all now. can we just spend some time together? i promise, though, if you’re still having problems i’ll gladly fuck up as many lives as you need.”

ᯓ you laugh, making him laugh

ᯓ you spend the rest of the night just sitting there talking to him

LUCIFER:

ᯓ the two of you are watching your current show, as you do every night, and he notices you’re zoning out

ᯓ he pauses it and looks down at you

ᯓ he dots a couple kisses over your brow

ᯓ “everything okay?”

ᯓ “rough day…”

ᯓ “why didn’t you tell me?”

ᯓ his expression is one of concern now, yet still absolutely laden with affection

ᯓ “i’m sorry, i’m not trying to keeping things from you or anything. i just don’t want to bother you.”

ᯓ “i want you to bother me. say everything that comes into your brain, i want to hear it.”

ᯓ he pulls you closer, palm smoothing over the back of your neck as he sets your head against his chest

ᯓ you tell him about your day, and how you were getting so frustrated

ᯓ frustrated everything was going wrong today, frustrated that the entire week was going wrong

ᯓ he listens intently, stroking your hair the entire time

ᯓ he gives soft “mhms” and “of courses” at your words

ᯓ he peppers warm kisses all over your face

ᯓ he does his best to give you a solution

ᯓ even if what he suggested doesn’t work, he’s sending you flowers to your house for the next week

ADAM:

ᯓ he’s a little confused, but he’s got the spirit

ᯓ he’s a little nervous to ask what’s wrong

ᯓ he’s afraid he won’t know what to do to make you feel better

ᯓ “hey, uh, everything okay?”

ᯓ you shrug

ᯓ “wanna talk about it?”

ᯓ you tell him everything

ᯓ he nods the entire time, his eyes never leaving your face

ᯓ he’s trying to memorize everything you’re saying

ᯓ he doesn’t really have any great solutions

ᯓ and he kind of hates himself for it

ᯓ he wants to help you, even if he doesn't make it obvious

ᯓ “hey, how about we go out tonight? take your mind off things.”

ᯓ you spend the night at dinner then wandering through a night market

ᯓ you both talk nonstop

ᯓ he gets you a bunch of trinkets

ᯓ just things that remind him of you

ᯓ and a bracelet, too

ᯓ he spends a bit of time fiddling with the clasp, eventually hooking it together and letting it sit on your wrist

ᯓ you don’t take the bracelet off

ᯓ ever

ᯓ at home, he’s worried you’re still upset

ᯓ but you’re not

ᯓ you fall asleep curled up against him, your worries now nonexistent

[harrysfolklore]

love on tour, forever - blurb

i watched harry’s video and got super inspired to write this, it’s definitely one of my favorite things i’ve done so i hope you like it 🥺

ALL GIFS ARE BY @delicatepointofview FOLLOW THEM FOR THE BEST GIFS EVER <33

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

“Do you think I should pack this?” you asked holding a video camera up, catching Harry’s attention.

“That would be great, love,” he said from the bed, watching you add the final items to your suitcase, “That way you can film me while I shower for when we’re apart.”

“Oh shut up,” you rolled your eyes with affection and he smirked, “I’m filming special moments with this, you know, backstage moments your photographers don’t always catch.”

“Bummer,” he shrugged, making you roll your eyes at him again, “I’m just kidding love, that is a very lovely idea.”

“It’s settled then.” You smiled at him and put the camera in your suitcase, knowing that by the end of the tour, it would be filled with the most special and heartfelt moments.

“What are you doing down there, lovie?”

“Making sure I get all of your angles,” you shrugged, focused on your video camera, “Here’s the rockstar, getting his steps in before hitting the stage.”

He let out a laugh before you could catch a flash of mischief in his eyes, “You know, there’s another way I could get my cardio in.”

“Stop it, you’re on camera,” you held your finger up and gave him warning eyes, you were planing on showing this videos to his mom who couldn’t be with him all the time, and the last thing you wanted was her knowing abouthis shenanigans, “How are you feeling, nervous about tonight’s performance?”

“I feel good,” he said truthfully, “I’m excited to see everyone and sing our songs, but most importantly I’m excited to wear sparkly gear again.”

“There he is, there he is,” you couldn’t help but shake your head and smile, “I’m going to film the real stars of the show, Mitch and Sarah, so say bye.”

“Bye YN’s camera! Such a shame you’re not catching my post workout shower!”

“It’s negative!” Nyoh said as she entered the room, making everyone cheer and clap.

“We’re not sick! That deserves a happy dance!” Harry said as he stood up and danced goofily around the room, making everyone laugh at him.

Looking at your camera sitting at the table, you decided it was a golden moment you couldn’t afford to miss.

“Okay Ny-ny, could you hold your test up so everyone knows why this man-child is dancing like a fool,” Nyoh showed her test to the camera, laughing as you moved it to show Harry who kept on dancing, “Sometimes I don’t know if I’m dating an adult or a five year old.”

“Come on lovie, dance with me!” he approached you, holding his hand out, “If you don’t I’m going to be sad” he said in a dramatic voice, and you passed your camera to Sarah who was sitting next to you, getting her to film the both of you.

“I want to kiss you right now but we can’t take off our masks,” Harry said before a minute of jumping around, “Easy tiger, we’ll be alone soon.”

“Rehearsal time!” you said cheerfully, filming everyone on stage, “Here’s Sarah, Mitch, Pauli, Niji, Ny,” they all waved as you mentioned their names, “And there’s a dude called Harry who claims to be the headliner of the show, no one knows him tho.”

“Come on woman,” Harry gave you an annoyed playful look, “You know me, very well. Actually you know parts of my body that-“

“Harry! What’s with you and your horny comments all the time, you’re like a teenager!” you shook your head, all of his bandmates laughing at your banter.

“Can you blame me? I go home to you every night, I’m a lucky bastard.”

“That you are!” Pauli chimed in, making everyone laugh again.

The band continued rehearsing, you standing in a corner and catching some moments on video. Once they were done with Canyon Moon, Harry called for you.

“So, love. What do you think? Do we sound good.” Harry asked, looking at your with happy eyes, aware that you were still getting it all on camera.

“If by we you mean your band, they sound amazing as always. If you’re included in that ‘we’ then I don’t know, you should practice some more”.

Harry threw his head back in laughter, grabbing the hem of his shirt with one hand and his mic with the other, “Why are you sassy with me today! What have I done?”

You only shrugged and laughed along with him, getting on your tiptoes and kissing his cheek softly.

“Practice some more, I said!”

“Aren’t you the cutest little thing ever?” you cooed at the baby in your lap, Mitch and Sarah asked you to watch their son while they run something with the rest of the band and you were more than happy to do it, “You’re the sweetest boy I know!”

“I thought I was the sweetest boy you knew!” Harry’s voice made its way to you ears, he entered the room accompanied by Mitch and Sarah, the baby instantly making grabby hands at his mom.

“You’re not a boy anymore, you’re basically pushing 30!”

“Don’t remind me!” he dramatically said, “I’m still young and full of life.”

The four of you laughed, Sarah moving to sit next to you and Mitch and Harry hanging out by the door.

“Did he give you any trouble?” Sarah asked, looking down at her son, “He just learned how to walk without any help do he could be a handful sometimes.”

“Not at all, he’s the easiest baby ever.” You smiled at them tenderly.

“He’s not only obsessed with walking, he’s obsessed with dancing too.” Mitch said before taking a sip out of his wine glass, he’s never without one.

“Oh! I didn’t know that!” Harry said excitedly, “Baby, dance for us!”

Sarah put him down and Harry tried to make a melody by hitting the wall and mumbling random stuff, the boy instantly moving his body in an adorable way that made everyone laugh and awe at him.

Harry noticed that you had grabbed your camera to film the moment and he spoke directly to it, “That’s it! We have Love On Tour’s official dancer”

“Here’s the boss man, with his brand new Love On Tour jacket,” you filmed Harry, who was posing by the door showing off his new clothing, “I have my own too, with my name on it and all,” you turned the camera around to show yours briefly before turning it to Harry again, “Anything you would like to say?”

“It’s show time, baby!” he bobbed his head, making the sunglasses who were resting on his head fall to his eyes.

You burst out laughing and so did he after a minute of holding his straight face, “You’re such a dork!”

“But you love me a lot!”

“Eu te amo, Brasil!” Harry yelled to the empty stadium after sound-checking Lights Up.

“As you can see, he’s excited to be here,” you zoomed in on him with your camera, “We love this country so much.”

“We do, we do,” Harry agreed, “I’m putting on my best dance clothes and shoes tonight, this show is going to be massive!”

“You’re a dancer now?” you asked to piss him off.

“Of course! Look at my moves.” He grabbed his mic with one hand, putting the other on his hip and moving funnily.

“Look at that! You’re going straight to Dancing with the Stars after this tour.”

“I’m more of a Dancing Moms kinda guy.” He shrugged, making everyone laugh before moving on with the next song to rehearse.

“There it is, the 10th tweet about how they’re going to the show for Lloyd only.” You giggled, scrolling down your timeline while Harry watched over your shoulders.

“Okay, that’s it,” he said before standing up, “Lloyd Wakefield !” at this, the photographer turned his head around, previously in a conversation with Madi and some other crew members.

“Yes?” Lloyd asked in a confused tone, you stood back and grabbed your camera, knowing a funny moment you would love to remember was coming.

“I might have to fire you,” Harry said, his voice trying to sound serious but his eyes gave him away, “You’re stealing the show and I can’t accept that.”

Lloyd rolled his eyes and everyone in the room turned their attention to them with grins on their faces, they were used to Harry’s humor.

“Yeah? And who’s going to be your photographer now?”

“Or we could solve this like manly man, with a fight.”

“As if you would fight anyone!” you chimed in from your place, making them turn your attention to you.

“Is that my own girlfriend doubting me?” he said, faking an offended tone, “Bring it in, Wakefield”

Lloyd laughed but played along, bringing his arms up and playfully challenging Harry, but somehow they ended up putting their hands together and moving them back and forth.

“Look at the manly man, fighting for who’s the star of the show,” you said, your camera focusing on them, “Just another day on the road.”

“I don’t know what we’re doing but I’m winning!” Harry chirped and everyone laughed again.

“Harry! Harry! Harry!”

Was all that was heard backstage at Reggio Emilia RFC Arena, some people holding up champagne glasses and jumping up and down.

“We did it!” Harry yelled as he placed himself in the center of the room, his vest long forgotten, jumping and twirling along with the cheers.

As usual, you were holding your camera, filming the special you knew he would want to replay over and over again.

“Congratulations baby, another world tour completed!” you said to him, “Any final words you would like to say to the camera.”

Harry paused to think for a few seconds before speaking, “I love you, that’s all,” she shook his head almost in disbelief, “You have been here for every step of the way, and that means the world to me, none of this would be possible without you.”

“Awe! Aren’t you a softie?” Jeff cheered, throwing his arm around his shoulders and ruffling his hair playfully.

“I’m just in love.” He winked at the camera and that was your cue to turn it off and take in the moment.

For three years, Love On Tour ruled the world and changed yours, giving you the opportunity to be by Harry’s side for every milestone and special moment.

The tour might had come to an end, but the memories created around it would last forever.

And you were glad you got them all on camera.

taglist: @lightsoutstyles @willowpains @straightontilmornin @sleutherclaw @gimsaysay @hazzassmirk @platinumbarbie143 @musicforcinemas @celesteblack08 @scntfrhs @eleanordaisy @lomlolivia @iceebabies @iloveshawn @be-with-me-so-happily @watermelonsugacry @rayisthehoe

[mrsshabana]

𝐀 𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐄𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐁𝐨𝐲

❀ Content Gyutaro x female!reader, taisho era, pure fluff

❀ Note So I decided to write an alternate ending to that Gyutaro comic that's been going around. I won't share it here because I don't want to post someone's art without their permission, but I've seen it all over Pinterest. If you haven't seen it, basically Gyutaro is working in a garden and three girls shout to him from their window. They ask him to come up and hang out with them. He becomes flustered and says, "Wait... really?" and then they say, "You really thought we were serious?" and start laughing at him and making fun of him, calling him a loser - causing him to run away in embarrassment. When I first saw that comic it broke my heart so I had to write something to give Gyutaro the ending he deserves.

He shouldn’t have been so gullible. But can you blame him? Girls never notice him, or if they do it’s always in a negative way. So the one time some cute girls asked him to hang out with them, of course he got excited. But it was just a cruel joke. 

After being so cruelly embarrassed, Gyutaro scurried away in a hurry. Trying to hide his tears so as not to embarrass himself further. 

He sits under a tree, away from view, and cries. Sobbing into the sleeve of his yukata, 

“I’m so stupid…” the boy whimpers. 

The weight of it all bearing down on him. He’s going to be a joke forever, isn’t he? No girl would show kindness to him, let alone give him a chance. As he soaks his yukata with tears his heart gets crushed by the rejection. 

Until someone’s voice calls out to him, “Hey! Garden boy!”

He looks up and sees a beautiful girl coming his way. He quickly wipes his tears and tries to hide the fact that he’s been crying. 

“Wh-what do you want?” 

“I wanted to join you, is that ok?” you say with a smile.

“No, I’m not an idiot,” he frowns, “I-I won’t fall for it again!” He tries his best to stand up for himself.

Your cheery expression shifts to one of sadness as you sit beside him, “Listen, I saw what happened.”

Gyutaro feels even more embarrassed now, knowing that you saw how he was rejected by those other girls. He wishes he could just hide and never face anyone again.

He looks down and says nothing, utterly ashamed. 

“Don’t listen to them, any girl would be lucky to spend an afternoon with you.” You gently place your hand on his shoulder.

“You’re lying… I’m disgusting… I’m a loser,” his voice quivers and his eyes begin to fill with tears. 

“No, you’re not! I’ll prove it to you.”

He quirks a brow and stares at you. What could you possibly mean?

You lean forward and kiss him. Softly pressing your lips against his. 

Immediately his entire face turns red. He can’t believe that just happened. If anything was going to shut up his insecurities, it would be a kiss from a cute girl. 

“I-I…” he stutters. 

You chuckle, “I’ve had a crush on you for a while. I never said anything because I was too shy. But when I saw how those girls treated you I felt like I had to say something.”

“A crush? On me…?” his eyes widen and he stares at you in disbelief. 

You nod, “I’ve watched you tend to the gardens here for a while,” you say shyly, “I think you’re really cute.”

This definitely made up for the embarrassment he had gone through earlier. Not only are you cuter than those other girls, but you’re really sweet too. Other girls don’t even come close to him because they find him too repulsive. But you actually kissed him! So there’s no doubt in his mind that your words are true. 

“W-Well um… I wouldn’t mind hanging out with you sometime,” he says as he shyly rubs the back of his neck. 

“I’d love that! I live in the blue house over there,” you point to the other side of the garden, “You should come by when you’re done working.”

His face heats up as he imagines visiting you at your home, “O-Ok, I’d like that.”

Before leaving you give him a kiss on the cheek. 

Excited to see you again, he quickly gets back on his feet and works like he was never rejected in the first place. Honestly, he’s never worked so fast.

[babyangelsky]

My Favorite Expressions in Love Sea Ep. 3

I wasn't gonna write about the expressions this week but then I got all my Fort-induced crazy out and had a meal and came to my senses, so I decided to write about them this week and every week.

Won't always be in depth like the last one but I do wanna point them out because as @prapaiwife said, Fort and Peat's acting deserves to be appreciated.

This scene is shadowy as all hell but there's just enough light to appreciate the faces that Mut is pulling in this scene. There's a mixture of annoyance and frustration here. He's narrowing his eyes, he's pursing his lips and setting his jaw a little bit. But it also looks like he's trying not to smile and there's a sparkle in his eyes that tells me he's enjoying seeing Tongrak get pissy.

That's the face of a brat tamer if I've ever seen one.

I also loved seeing how Tongrak got all smiley and fondly amused when Mut said he was beautifully handsome.

But then there's this smile after he tells Mut about his family. It's sad and resigned and doesn't reach his eyes. It's different from the last one, and Mut can see that, which is why he tells Tongrak not to smile like that. We're not done talking about this man and smiling but hold that thought, we'll come back to it here in a sec.

This look and the quickness with which Tongrak says no when Mut asks him if he wants to try love break my heart. There's more resignation there and something else, too. Certainty of heartbreak or maybe just plain old fear.

I, too, am struck dumb when I see Fort's smiling face Tongrak's just like me fr.

It's the shift from soft, open vulnerability to sheer annoyance for me. It's a face that says, "this infuriating man is so fucking annoying, I have to fucking kiss him about it fuck him" and I love it. This kiss also made me think of @chicademartinica and her love of tropical eroticism.

We can't see Mut's eyes here but that same sentiment applies to this face, too.

I love the look Tongrak gets when people say nice things about Mut. He may not realize it--or admit it if he did--but he's so fond of Mut already.

I have nothing insightful to say about these expressions, I just wanna make ya'll appreciate the mole Fort has on that giant fucking arm of his and how normal I've been about it this whole time.

Also more stretch marks. But we're getting off track.

Look at the face Mut makes when he realizes Tongrak's gonna be leaving in a couple of days. He looks crushed. You can tell that up until now, he hasn't really thought about Tongrak eventually going back home.

And Tongrak hasn't thought about it either. You can see him mentally going through his calendar. Neither of them have thought about it, but they both know exactly when he's going to leave and neither of them look happy about it.

Mut says "could you not leave?" without thinking and Tongrak is very obviously surprised but that's all it is. Surprise without anything negative attached to it. And maybe a teeny bit of hope?

He tries to play it off as a joke but Tongrak doesn't let him. He just says "try asking me". Something about his tone and the way he's looking at Mut and stroking his hair and his face really made me feel the difference in their ages. Tongrak looks and sounds so patient and gentle.

I love how often Tongrak's face answers before he does. He was always going to say yes but I like that he told Mut to try asking and teases him a little bit to get him there. Sometimes we have to be brave and find the words and ask for what we want so it'll be given to us. That's how good communication works.

I don't know about anyone else, but I could practically hear Tongrak thinking, "I'm sorry you had to grow up so fast and alone."

Seeing Mut be giddy and shy for the first time since we met him and seeing unabashed joy on Tongrak's face for the first time since we met him are two of my favorite things about this episode.

Making Mut ask Tongrak to stay wasn't about ego or being a brat, it was about a man who doesn't believe in love wanting to hear that his presence was wanted and a man who isn't used to receiving things without offering something in exchange being told that he doesn't have to change who he is in order to be given what he wants and that he's loved appreciated exactly the way he is.

[xxlady-lunaxx]

Why do you cry? | {SabiGiyuu}

Theme: Slight angst to fluff<3

Note: can be taken as platonic or romantic :3

-Requested ;; sabigiyuu fluff

Tags: @kitkat-moon

×××

Sabito had always been the more confident one. He was sure of himself, he was stronger, both physically and mentally. So it seemed nothing could deter him and Giyuu found himself even insecure beside his best friend, wishing he could be like that. Giyuu cried often, he wasn’t as nearly as strong or fast as Sabito, sometimes he just wanted to curl up in a ball and hide away from the world. He figured Sabito had never wanted to do this before, had never felt so alone. He was seemingly always there to comfort, not to feel anything negative. Somehow, he always was raising Giyuu’s spirits, smiling for him even in the middle of the night when he woke up to Giyuu’s crying.

So it came as a shock, of course, to find Sabito hiding in the back, his knees drawn up to his chest and face buried in his arms. For a moment, Giyuu thought he was sleeping. What else could it be? But then, upon hearing his arrival, Sabito looked up. His face was streaked with tears and his hair was messy, sticking to his forehead from sweat; the weather was increasingly warm and they had been training earlier. Immediately, a hand darted up to rub at the lavender eyes, but it was already too late. Giyuu went over and crouched in front of him, eyebrows creased with worry.

“Sabito?” He didn’t know what to say. After all, he was accustomed to being the comforted, not the comforter. “Are you… okay?” Well that was easily answered. What was he supposed to say, though?

Sabito nodded slowly, turning his head. His cheeks were flushed slightly, but from crying or embarrassment, or the heat, it was hard to tell. “Yeah. Fine,” he mumbled. His voice was hoarse and it made Giyuu wonder just how long he had been here.

“Are you sure? You don’t look that great,” Giyuu said uncertainly.

Sabito let out a breath, then composed himself, raising an eyebrow at Giyuu’s direction. “Are you saying I look horrendous? Wow, Giyuu. Rude.”

Giyuu huffed, rolling his eyes. “No! You know what I mean!”

“Yeah, okay. Is it lunch? Why’re you here?” Sabito asked, covertly trying to change the subject. It backfired on him, unfortunately, because it only served as a reminder to Giyuu as to Sabito’s state.

“I don’t think Urokodaki-sensei is done with lunch,” he said. Then paused. “Why are you here, though? Why were you crying?”

“You know, Giyuu. You don’t just ask people that when they’re upset,” Sabito said pointedly.

“But you are upset, right? What’s wrong?” Giyuu asked, settling down next to him, crossing his legs and leaning his head back against the wall.

Sabito shifted to turn his back towards Giyuu, drawing his legs down and placing his hands flat on his lap. “No reason. Should we train before the food is ready?”

Giyuu frowned and scooted over to sit in front of him again. “Sabitooo, tell me what happened! You don’t usually cry!”

“Nothing happened! I’m fine!” Sabito said. Abruptly, he stood, making Giyuu tip back. He lent him a hand and Giyuu took it, standing as well. “Let’s train, okay?”

“No! Tell me why you were crying or I’ll tell Urokodaki-sensei!” Giyuu retorted, placing his hands on his hips and trying to look stern.

Sabito bit back a smile at the sight and shook his head. “It’s nothing, Giyuu.”

“Uhm, nothing isn’t you crying for the first time in your life!” Giyuu said defiantly.

“First time…?” Sabito asked incredulously. “Damn, that’s quite an assumption.”

Giyuu’s frown deepened. “I’m going to Urokodaki-sen-”

“Okay–” Sabito interrupted. He didn’t want their mentor to know he was going off hiding and crying, although he had a hunch Urokodaki would only be worried. “Okay, fine. But seriously, it wasn’t anything. I was just sad or whatever.”

Giyuu tilted his head to the side, his arms falling. “Sad about what?”

Sabito let out a breath. “Okay, not sad? Tired? I don’t know.”

“Oh. You should sleep,” Giyuu said matter-of-factly.

A bitter smile rose on Sabito’s face and Giyuu stepped back slightly. It was strange to see him like this, and the abnormality of it sent a small panic in the ravenette’s mind.

“It’s not that easy,” Sabito said. His voice was calm, but if Giyuu focused, he could hear a hint of contained exhaustion laced between the words.

“Why? Have you been training too much? Are you sore, or something?” Giyuu asked, confused.

“No! Just, like, tired of… living? I don’t know,” Sabito repeated, running a hand through his hair. The peachy waves slumped against his forehead, as if they were tired too.

“Wha–but, but Sabito, you told me that– You said I should– But– Why would?-” Words came tumbling from Giyuu’s mouth as he cut himself off several times, not knowing what to say. Sabito? Not wanting to live? What world was he in?

Sabito shook his head. “Okay, it’s not exactly that. I’m just tired of dealing with being alive, but it’s not like I actually want to die, that’s… no. I still want to save people and everything, but the road to that is getting exhausting and I guess it just all caught up to me.”

Giyuu nodded slowly, trying to take that in. “Okay… Good. Because you have to live! I couldn’t do a thing without you.”

“Well you can’t rely on me for everything,” Sabito said, pushing him playfully.

Giyuu stumbled back, shaking his head. “No, well, I won’t! I’m not! …wait, am I? But that’s not what I mean! You still help me just by being alive and like I know you’re safe,” he explained, trying to find the words to describe it.

“Oh. Awhh, so sentimental, Giyuu,” Sabito teased, a smile grazing his lips. He reached forward, pulling Giyuu into an awkward embrace. “Love you too.”

“Eh? Sabito!” Giyuu whined. “Anyway, you don’t have to cry ‘cuz… ‘cause I’ll, uhm, always be here,” he concluded stupidly.

Sabito laughed. “Well, aren’t I the lucky one. But in all seriousness, Giyuu, I do care about you. In case you haven’t noticed.”

Giyuu smiled. “I do too.”

“Okay, good, because I would be mad if you didn’t.”

“Huh? Really?”

“No. That was a joke.”

Giyuu glared at him, trying to get out of the hug. Urokodaki appeared, his head popping up from around the corner of the house.

“Lunch is ready! And what are you two doing here?” he asked, doing a double take.

They untangled themselves from each other.

“Nothing…” Sabito said quickly. “C’mon, Giyuu. I’ll race you there.”

He darted off and Giyuu, only just registering his words, shouted after him. “SABITO! THAT’S NOT FAIR!!”

Urokodaki sighed, though he bore a smile under his mask. “Don’t run inside the house!”

His order was met with a half-hearted, muffled, “SORRY!” from inside as he made his way back to the front.

×××

« Word count: 1170 »

Ok that wasn’t necessarily mostly fluff but… shhh..

[wosoamazing]

Pregnant

Summary: Katie and Caitlin are pregnant.

Warnings: Morning Sickness (throwing up), negative tests, pregnancy.

A/N: This is the first fic in the new McFoord Baby Series, its not the best, in my opinion (but they do get better). I hope you like it, I have some other stories in the works for this, but if there is anything you would like to see in this series let me know.

“Katie, are you sure you want to do this?” Caitlin asked her as they stood in the kitchen preparing for their first step to being Mums. Katie just nodded, keeping her eyes closed, she hated needles like really hated needles. Caitlin gave the injection to Katie and then wrapped her arms around her.

“That’s it, that's the first step, we might get to be Mum’s” She said, placing a kiss on Katie's lips. “I’m so excited”

_____

The next month Katie was moody, getting mad more often than usual, receiving a yellow card in almost every game. Jonas pulled Katie into a meeting about her behaviour and that's when he found out they were trying for a baby, he forgave Katie but told her to try and control her temper.

_____

Egg Retrieval Day and Transfer Day had been successful, which is what had led them here, standing in the bathroom, waiting for the timer to go off, to see if they were pregnant or not.

“This is so painful, why do they take so long,” almost as if the universe had heard Katie the timer went off, the two giddy women quickly flipped over the three pregnancy tests, immediately the mood in the room dropped, all three were negative. 

“I’m sorry,” Katie said before she burst into tears, Caitlin quickly wrapped her arms around her and held her tight.

“There is nothing to be sorry for, this isn’t your fault, and anyway, it's rare for it to work on the first try, Mini told us that remember, we can try again, but only if you want to.”

Try again was exactly what they did, which is how they found themselves sitting in the Kitchen, of Mini’s apartment, Katie had been feeling unwell for the past few days but she couldn’t bring herself to do a test, especially considering when the IVF clinic did the blood test two weeks after the transfer it was negative, they decided to not start another cycle straight away, deciding to go on international break and then talk about how they felt and the steps forward. There was not really any chance at all that Katie could be pregnant, and even though they both knew the pregnancy tests would be negative. They both still couldn't bear to flip another set of pregnancy tests for them to be negative, joining the other four negative sets. However Mini told them to just do one, that mistakes can happen sometimes and sometimes the blood tests are too early and that it would be better to know for sure rather than just assuming Katie wasn’t pregnant. She even offered to be there for them and find out herself to then tell them, which was an offer they took up, hence why they were in her kitchen. They brought Kyra with them to make it seem less weird as to why they were both visiting. Kyra, Harper and Clara were sitting in the living room.

“You ready?” Mini asked the pair who sat in front of her, they both tentatively nodded. She flipped over the tests and a small smile appeared on her face. “You’re going to be Mum’s” “Wait what,” “Really?” She nodded showing the pair the tests.

“Oh my God, we’re going to be Mum’s Cait,” Katie exclaimed as she pulled Caitlin in for a hug.

The three of them walked out into the living room. “Sad” Harper said as she pointed to the pair, “They’re not sad Harper,” “But crying”

“These are happy tears, Harps,” Caitlin said as she went to sit on the floor with Harper and Kyra.

_____

A few mornings after finding out she was pregnant, Katie found herself feeling very sick, as the pair of them sat on the couch eating breakfast.

“Cait, I’m just going to go to the bathroom real quick,” Katie said as she stood up, walking to the bathroom, Caitlin was a little concerned for Katie as she had been acting differently that morning, she also had been blinking hard which Caitlin had discovered Katie did when she was in pain or unwell, so the Australian decided to follow her into the bathroom. She found Katie leant against the wall next to the toilet, she had her arms wrapped around her stomach, and her knees were pulled into her chest.

“Katie, Babe, it’s just me,” the Australian said before sitting down next to her, Katie’s eyes were shut and she didn't want to startle her, Katie moved closer to Caitlin so that their sides were touching, resting her head on Caitlin’s shoulder, who moved to put one arm around Katie, “What’s going on?”

“I feel like I’m going to throw up. I hate throwing up, I don’t want to be sick, Cait.” Caitlin started to move her thumb against Katie’s arm, in a gesture of comfort, placing a kiss to the top of her head.

“It’s okay, I know you don’t like it, but I’m here, and if you ever feel this way please tell me, I’ll come and just sit here with you. We’re going to get through this together okay.”

The pair sat there for ten minutes before Caitlin spoke again, “How bout we get ready for training and head off, maybe some fresh air will help.”

They were standing in the locker room talking to their friends when Caitlin saw Katie's demeanour change, it was ever so subtle and no one else would have noticed but it was something Caitlin could’ve spotted from a mile away. She walked up to Katie and wrapped her arms around her waist giving her a hug from behind before whispering in her ear “Let’s go to the bathroom.” 

Katie followed Caitlin into the bathroom, they both walked into a stall and locked the door before finding themselves in essentially the same positions as they were in at home, except the only difference was this time after a few minutes Katie threw up, Caitlin rubbed her back as she did, saying encouraging words to her whilst she also messaged someone on her phone.

Katie stopped throwing up, and returned to her previous position, “Do you feel any better?” “A little bit”

They both heard footsteps as someone entered the toilets “Cait you messaged?” It was Steph, Katie’s eyes grew in panic, Caitlin held her tighter as she explained “It’s okay, it's just Steph, she knew we were trying, she found me one day after a negative and I was having a moment, I explained to her. She won't tell anyone, and she doesn't know about this yet. I just need to go and talk to Jonas quickly, she will stay with you, she is good, don’t worry”

Caitlin stood up and walked out of the cubical, “Can you just look after Katie for me quickly? I’m just going to go talk to Jonas, I’ll explain later.” 

Caitlin came back from talking to Jonas to find Steph and Katie sitting in the locker room.

“Sorry, I didn’t realise the girls had gone out, thank you for looking after her though, but you can go out now, it's all good”

“No its no problem I’ll wait for you”

“Katie, Babe, I spoke to Jonas and we both agree that you shouldn’t do any training today, he said we could go home if we needed but I didn't think you would want to go home, so he suggested that you could lie down for a bit on one of the physio beds or that you could sit off to the side and watch training. It’s up to you, but if you do want to go home I can take you home, that isn’t a problem”

“No, I want to stay, could I maybe go lie down?” “That sounds like a good idea, do you want me to take you down, or-” “No it's all good, I’ll go myself, love you.” “Love you too babe.”

“So I hear congratulations are in order” Steph said as she sat next to Caitlin who was tying her boots, “wait did she tell you?” “No, I kind of figured, but I asked and she said yeah. But seriously congratulations, you are both going to be fantastic Mum’s” “Thanks Steph, you ready to head out?” “Yeah. But why don’t you want to talk about it? Is everything okay? You guys have wanted this for so long, I thought you would be more excited” Caitlin let out a heavy sigh, and looked down at her feet.

“Yeah, it's just that, it's been hitting Katie hard, and I just feel so bad. I mean we both wanted this but like-” “Caitlin, its okay to not feel 100% sure about this, it's a big change.” Steph said cutting her fellow Aussie off before pulling her in for a hug.

_____

“Um, so we just had something to tell you all, um well….” Katie said, prompting Caitlin to pull out a mini Arsenal shirt, which had Little Teammate printed on it.

“Oh my god are you having a baby?” “Yeah, expected mid November”

“Congratulations you guys, I didn't know you were trying,” “Thank you, but yeah we didn't tell many people.”

“Oh that's why.” Kyra said a little louder than intended to Alessia causing everyone to look at Kyra who looked like a deer in the headlights, not wanting to reveal what this announcement had just answered.

“Um well….” Kyra stammered.

“Kyra thought Katie was looking fatter than usual.” Alessia threw Kyra under the bus, which caused the Irish women to cry. Kim and Leah directed the team out quickly, to give the two women some space.

“I’m sorry,” Katie said as Caitlin pulled her in for a hug, this was a symptom of her pregnancy Katie hated, maybe even more than the morning sickness, she was so emotional and kept crying.

“You have nothing to apologise for, after all you are growing our daughter.” The two women sent each other beaming smiles, they were going to have a little girl soon.

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

I admire your patience with those readers who need you to spoon feed them the story. Everything is in the comics but they still manage to go pass it. I can't help but feel a bit sad for them? Do they not understand what they read? Are they not attentive when reading it? I'm legitimately concerned because I function so differently I can't fathom this. If you like a story, isn't it normal to make your best to grasp it's essence and reflect on it? I know I project a lot about this, everyone works and registers things differentely of course but sometimes it's very frustrating to see people consume any media and just completely miss all the important messages in it, or even just fail to get the scenario sometimes, and it feels like it's very common now... Idk I just wanted maybe to have your perspective on this? Sorry for the long post (Been here for a few years now and your a true inspiration to me. All my luv to you! ❤️)

You know, I'm gonna be honest. I used to stress out about this... a LOT.

As a story-brained person, this is definitely something that comes naturally to me, and perhaps to you, and to many other people who are wired similarly. To us, following the path of a story in an analytic, highly detail-motivated manner and unwrapping the themes can be as exciting as lifting up a rock to see the bugs underneath. It's an exciting mental activity that's stimulating and feels effortless.

And yes, as an author who spends literally 60% of my day thinking about this comic and how to draw it, panel it, script it, make it better (I script and panel in my head constantly)........ I have trouble realizing/dealing with the fact that some people are just here to CASUALLY enjoy the story that I am lowkey obsessed with.

But I've come to realize that... that's NORMAL! And healthy.

People have different attention spans for different things.

People have varied ways to read a story and engage with it.

People have unique interests.

People don't have the same amounts of energy to devote to reading!

Maybe someone missed a detail I lovingly and painstakingly put into the dialogue because they're reading the update late at night after a long shift at work. And maybe someone scrolled past the dialogue completely and just got the gist from looking at the art, because they're in a hurry to get to practice at their favorite sportsball.

And maybe someone just had a really bad day with a really bad encounter, and they're reading the update in a terrible mood and instead of seeing MY grey-morality narrative, they're focusing on all the negative points and misread the vibes because of their own biases that stem from places of hurt.

The thing is, I have to be okay with that as an author, because I will NEVER be able to get into my audience's heads and read this comic 'correctly' for my own sake.

They will always have a slightly different interpretation of things, and they will always misunderstand details and miss clues. And sometimes, they will be wrong about the way they read a character's motivations... and sometimes maybe they won't be! That's just a part of communication. That's a part of telling a story.

An imperfect delivery, and an imperfect reception should, in my opinion, be a natural and accepted part of storytelling. We're human, and we all have a different lived experience, and we will ALL have different takes on a comic, even if it's so close that we THINK we are both getting the exact same thing. That small human interpretation variation is a home-made touch that makes it feel more organic.

In short.... Not all light particles make it here from the sun, but damn the result is stunning anyway.

[tadpoles-and-daydreams]

Why I cuss (affectionately) at my deities, sometimes, and why it's important to me

I'm having some feelings tonight, so here have another "Frog is rambling again" post. This one's about Loki, because they seem intent on speedrunning teaching me shit. Seriously it's been like three weeks.

I wasn't prepared for what working with Loki actually looks like. /pos

Because what that actually looks like, apparently, is sitting watching a comedy anime and getting the distinct vibe that it has a sense of humor that Loki enjoys. And then realizing that's because Loki is actively hanging around... watching fuckin' anime with me. Why the hell would Loki want to watch a dumb comedy anime with the funny little guy he works with?

Seeing a post about watching comedy as a devotional act to Loki later felt intentional, so I ended up deciding to do just that.

Thing is, I grew up exposed to the idea that God is an all-powerful being who deserves nothing less than the best and humans are the scum of the earth. I'm only now seeing that it's been damaging my relationship with my deities. I'm afraid to just chat with them 'too casually.' I apologize if I feel like I said something that's too disrespectful. I've apologized to Loki multiple times because he pulled some shit and my response was "god damnit Loki" or "you motherfucker."

And then they remind me that I call my mom the same thing, and she laughs. It's the same with my friends. All because it's not insulting, or disrespectful, it's a sign of affection. I would never say that and mean it; they know that, so it's funny. It's playful.

Amongst many other things, Loki is teaching me that joy is to be valued. This world tells us that it's dumb, childish, or any other assortment of negative descriptors- and that it has no place in spirituality. Certainly no place in the presence of a god- and that's fucking sad. I think Loki is sad about it too. I think Loki's fucking pissed, actually. How dare we be made to feel shame for what makes us happy. The gods deserve to partake in our joy and our fun just as much as they deserve to be part of our sorrow and fear.

Maybe it's just me, but I'm starting to think that hanging out with some fucker who's scrolling through memes and blasting music might just be a nice change of pace for them.

[mschoiyuki]

Always Be With You

Nanami Kento x f!reader

tw : self indulgent. SFW

wc : 1.2k

a/n : I’ve been feeling down this couple days and the negative thoughts makes me a little sad, and I need comfort from my man, Nanami Kento. The most greenest flag man I ever see and I miss him like crazy. And this might be my last writing. Who knows.

Sunday is a lazy day for you and Nanami. You stir awake when you smell the coffee being brewed. Slowly blinking away the sleepiness, reaching the empty space of the other side of the bed and it's still warm. You pick your husband’s shirt and put it on. Walking out to the kitchen, seeing your husband prepares morning coffee.

You slither your arms to his waist, hugging Nanami from behind. Nanami smiles, “Morning, sweetheart.” You just mumble a hum, pressing your face to his broad back and tightening your hug.

Nanami scrunched his eyebrows thinking this is odd. You usually will greet him back. Nanami takes your hands, releasing your grips on him and turn around to see you. That’s not your usual sleepy face, there’s something wrong with it.

Nanami cups your face and lift it, “Bad dream, sweetheart?” Nanami kiss your temple.

You shake your head, “No. I suddenly feeling blue. Maybe the period mood? I don’t know. Just feeling sad, I feel like I’m not enough, feel tired, feel like I want to cry.” You grip Nanami waist, feeling the tears are forming on your eyes now.

Nanami lift you up and sit you down on the kitchen counter top, and he takes both of your hands, kiss it tenderly, "Why you have to think that you are not enough, my love? You are enough, more than enough. Don't let that thoughts eat you up. If you feel tired from works, take a rest. If you want to cry then let it out, I'm always here for you."

"But maybe it's just my period mood swings, Kento. I don't want to burden you with this kind of things. And it’s embarrassing for crying over nothing." You stare at Nanami with glassy eyes.

Nanami cups your cheek, “There’s nothing to embarrass about, love. If it’s too much for you to handle, just let it out. Don’t bottle up your feelings. It’s not good for you, you know.” Nanami hugs you and rubs your back, soothing your uneasy feelings away. And just like that you can’t hold back your tears anymore, sobbing on Nanami bare chest and hugging him so tightly.

Nanami cradle you and still rub your back, whispering all the sweet words for you. “This is so silly, Kento.” You say between your hiccups, looking up at Nanami.

Nanami wipes your tears away and kiss your eyes, “Nothing is silly, my love. So why are you thinking that you’re not enough? You are perfect for me. Don’t listen to the others.”

“I don’t know. Just feel sad and tired suddenly.” You avert your eyes from Nanami.

“Let’s eat breakfast first, I also make your favorite coffee after that we can stay at bed and cuddle. How’s that, sweetheart?” Nanami lift your face again so he can see you.

“You don’t have mission today?”

“I think the others can handle it, don’t worry about it. Even if it’s urgent I’ll call Gojo to take care of it. For now you’re my top priority.” Nanami rubs your cheek and gives you a slow deep kiss. “Sounds good now, sweetie?”

You nod and Nanami pick you up, you hug him and sling your legs to his waist, and nuzzles your head to the crook of his neck. Nanami smiles at how clingy you are when you’re on your period mood swings. He finds it cute and he loves it when you get clingy, sometimes he’ll tease you about it when you’re on a good moods.

Nanami puts you down on the chair, he quickly brings the coffees and breakfast. Nanami still hold your hands until both of you done eating. Nanami pick you up again, one hand slides under your knees and the other on your back. “I can walk on my own, Kento.” You try to protest but still slither your hands on his neck.

Nanami chuckles and plant a kiss on your lips, “Just let me pamper you today, sweetheart.”

Nanami brings you to your shared bedroom and put you down gently onto the bed, "What should we do today? Watching movies? Or read some books?" He gently tuck your hair behind your ear.

"Read me some book, please? I love your voice, Kento. It can make me calm."

"As you wish, princess." Nanami kiss your forehead and go fetch some books to read. He sits on the bed leaning against the headboard, you nuzzle to his side, head on his chest so you can hear his heart beat and his voice echoing. Nanami put his left hand on your arm and rubbing it to soothe you. As you listen Nanami reads the book, your eyelids getting heavier and you drift off to sleep.

When Nanami hear your steady breathe, he peek from his book and find you already asleep. Nanami close his book and put it on the night stand, he slowly slide down and bring you close to him, he kiss your forehead and drift to sleep too.

Both you and Nanami wake up at the sound of nonstop doorbells and Nanami's phone rings. Nanami grunts and take his phone to see who the culprit that dare to disturb his and your peaceful day.

As soon as he sees Gojo name on the screen, he knows who rings the bells too, "What do you want? It's Sunday." Nanami pick up the call and answer it with annoyed tone.

"Don't be mean, Nanami. We came to cheer Y/N up!" Gojo still rings the doorbells.

"We??? Stop ringing the doorbell, please." Nanami pinch the bridge of his nose and sighs, he stands and walk to open the door and you following him.

"Yes. We! Surprise!" Gojo spread his long hands as like introducing the guests.

"Nanamin! We heard from Gojo - sensei that your wife is sick. We finish up our mission and come as quick as we can!" Itadori gives his puppy eyes to Nanami.

"Sensei, sorry for the intrusion. We bought mochi for you and your wife." Kugisaki hands out the package, while Megumi just nod at Nanami.

You let out a small laugh behind Nanami and come forward taking the mochi package from Kugisaki, "Thank you for coming. Come on in. It's cold outside."

Gojo lead the packs and sling his arm to Nanami's shoulder teasing the hell out of him. You bring tea for all of them and sits beside Nanami, "How do you know I'm sick, Gojo? But I'm not sick though."

"Nanamin send me a text, he said he can't accept any mission today because his lovely wife is sick." Gojo cross his leg and sip the tea.

"I didn't said she's sick. I said I need to stay with my wife." Nanami sighs and take your hand, intertwining it and rubs your back of hand.

Their bickering and the first years teasing make your heart lighter, erasing the dark cloud on your mind, you laugh with them and tighten your grip on Nanami hand.

Nanami peek at you and nudge your head with his head, "Feels better now, my love?"

"Yes. So much better. Thank you, Kento. I love you." You whisper to him.

"Anything for you, my love. I love you too." Nanami bring your hand and kiss the back of your hand.

Where could you ask for a man that accept you for being you, crying over nothing yet Nanami still stay with you giving you love that you deserved. Making your world shine again. The man that would do anything for you, and you are so grateful to has this man in your life as your husband.

dividers by : @saradika-graphics

[secretly-dum]

Joel Miller Headcanons

(please read warning/contents before reading)

pairing: joel miller x reader

request: none

summary: nothing, just some ‘regular’ headcanons

warning/contents: romantic SFW and NSFW hcs (part 1?)

additional notes: here you guys go <3 I’m so sorry for being demotivated but fortunately not enough to not do this!! Thank you all for being patient with me <3

«──────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────────»

In a relationship with Joel (SFW):

-Would be so possessive around you in public, his hands would HAVE to be somewhere on you, to having your hand hold his to having his shoulder touching his.

-He’s soft in private, this man is TIRED of life and just wants you to be his cuddle buddy.

-Talking about cuddles, he LOVES to cuddle, especially when it’s cold and he needs to “warm up”(an excuse to sleep with you)

-But of course since this is Joel we are talking about, he acts ignorant and pretends that he doesn’t like cuddling(mostly because he doesn’t like showing his soft side to you, so reassure him that you won’t make fun of him for that)

-One time he needed to “warm up” so he slept beside you not touching you at all and when you woke up his leg was over yours and his arm was wrapped around you(he also refused that it was himself doing this and said that he ‘moves’ in his sleep).

-His love language is definitely words of affirmation and physical touch.

-He is SO deprived of both, if you even show an inch of both his heart literally just melts.

-PLEASE play with his hair, seeing his face hide his cute smile is so heartwarming.

-Uses so many pet names to refer to you, you can’t even count anymore, and some of them don’t even make sense(he called you ‘honeysuckle’ once).

-Will do anything in his way to protect, heal, and love you. This one guy is bothering you? All of a sudden he’s gone. You have a horrible wound? He’s stocked up with medicine immediately. You like figurines/toys? Will kill anyone and anything to get you a single figure/toy.

-Is more of a listener than a talker, he loves listening to you talk about your day and interests.

-Goes to you or Ellie every time he has free time, you guys are LITERALLY his world.

-Forces himself to understand confusing concepts of your interests if it means interacting with you.

-Hates it when you’re sad since he’s really not the best comforter, doesn’t know what exactly to do when you cry so he just holds you while you cry into him, it somehow works making you feel better every time.

-Goes to you and tests out his 4 dad jokes before telling them to Ellie, you always have to hold in your giggle when he’s trying to tell the jokes to Ellie.

-You and Ellie’s needs are in front of his, he could be on the brink of death but still do anything in his way to make sure you both are healthy and safe.

-Secretly thinks of you as Ellie’s parent, and sometimes makes up cute scenarios that make you all three look like a small family in his head (this hc makes me sob)

-At the start of the relationship he was hesitant to showing/expressing his feelings, but now since boundaries are set and he’s more comfortable, he will always tell you whether or not he’s feeling negative.

-Watches you as you sleep but not in a creepy way, he always have thoughts that make him think you’ll die in your sleep so he’ll stay up an extra few minutes to make sure your safe. He loves how comfortable and dreamy you look.

-If you make something for him, whether it be a joke or not, he’ll always keep it on him. You gave him a nut and made some stupid joke? It’s on top of his dresser with other things you and Ellie have gave him.

-Definitely gives you something back, if you keep it and he sees it somewhere he smiles so hard his cheeks hurt.

«──────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────────»

In a relationship with Joel (NSFW):

-I don’t care what ANYONE says this man is a switch who prefers to be a bottom.

-Despite him being strong physically and emotionally, he’s always so vulnerable and obedient to you.

-Won’t do any slapping, choking, and hitting to you unless you ask/tell him to, but nevertheless he will lightly hit you, feels weird to hit his lover.

-Will be quiet if you guys are in a slightly unsafe area, but will scream your name if you guys are in either his or your home.

-Did I mention how he won’t slap, choke, or hit you unless you ask? You can do all three to him and he’ll still say thank you (one time you asked him why he won’t do the same hitting to you and he said “It’s not the same” 😭)

-Whimpers and whines like a bitch, it’s incredibly pornographic and I’m wondering to this day who taught him to make such angelic noises.

-Begs and obeys, can’t be brat unless you catch him on a real bad day or he just wants a punishment from you.

-Doesn’t do any risky stuff like getting you pregnant or hurt but will gladly let you fuck him in a spot that could get you guys caught.

-If he’s being dominant, he will be a soft dominant, Joel once said “he loves you too much to be doing such ‘harsh’ things to you” (unless you ask him to!)

-Pussy AND cock drunk, he’s addicted to you and your pussy/dick. Would be licking/sucking you for hours if he could (bisexual!joel is real).

-Overstimulation kink, which goes for both ways if you want. He loves it when he says he can’t take it anymore and you say he can.

-Your touch lingering over his body has him so turned on, the anticipation of how you’ll touch him turns him on so bad.

-Loves it when you mark him, bites, hickeys and etc. If you mark him on somewhere visible, he’ll show it off like a trophy.

-Likes bondage, seeing you all tied up and the curves of your body being more visible to him has him in a chokehold.

-He tells you that you taste so sweet and good, even if you haven’t showered that day(let’s be honest barely anyone showers in TLOU anymore)

-For some weird reason, seeing you sweat or have someone else’s blood on you turns him on a lot. Something about seeing you like that makes him want to fuck you right then and there.

«──────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────────»

[peachhcs]

https://www.tumblr.com/peachhcs/766739881092415488/httpswwwtumblrcompeachhcs766558720067043328

okay okay thank god that talked kinda finally!!!

ahhh another part your spoiling us !!!

part 8!! let me know if we wanna continue and how i should take this side plot if we do want it to continue on or leave it here bc technically will and samy have resolved their minor conflict LOL

au masterlist

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7

samy was at home for a few days after emailing her professors that she hurt her shoulder and was a bit immobile when it came to typing and trying to write. it was nice being in her own bed in the comfort of her own room, but boy did she not miss having her mom all over her every second of the day.

ellen poked her head into samy’s room probably ever fifteen minutes as if her daughter’s state had changed since she last checked-in. samy knew she meant well, but sometimes it felt like she couldn’t even breathe without her mom asking if she was okay.

“it’s because you’re the baby of the family,” jack teased when him and quinn called to check-in that afternoon. the girl rolled her eyes.

“is this how you felt when you broke your shoulder?” she mumbled while the older brunette laughed.

“yeah, basically. she’ll baby any of us when something’s wrong, but you more because you’re the youngest.”

“it’s so annoying. i can’t even like..do anything without her down my neck,” samy huffed.

“yeah, sorry squirt. how are you otherwise?” jack wondered.

“i’m fine, i guess. disappointed. sad. bored. in pain.”

“when do you think you’ll play again?” quinn wondered.

“i’m hoping before the championships start, but it depends on how i heal,” the younger girl explained and the older boys nodded.

“crossing my fingers for you then. that girl was so fucking annoying with the way she played. can’t believe she didn’t get a red card,” jack shook his head in frustration.

“tell me about it, but it’s whatever. can’t do anything about it now,” samy shrugged with her good arm.

meanwhile, will had just gotten into michigan and was downstairs saying hi to ellen and jim. he’d been conversing with luke all morning who went to pick the blonde up without samy’s knowledge.

“it’s so good to see you, will. how have you been?” ellen gushed, excited to see her “fourth” son.

“i’ve been pretty good. it’s good to see you guys too,” will smiled.

“samy’s upstairs. she might be talking to her brothers, but you can go knock,” ellen grinned as she pushed the boy to the stairs. he flushed a bit, waving awkwardly before slowly making his way up.

samy’s door was closed and he could hear her soft voice coming from inside. for some reason, will was nervous. what if she didn’t want him here? what if she told him to go home? what if she didn’t want to see him?

will shook himself from the negative thoughts. he couldn’t think like that. it was samy. his girlfriend. she’d never say those things to him he carefully lifted his hand and tapped three times against the hardwood.

“mom, i promise i’m fine since the last time you asked,” samy called from inside and will heard sounds of quinn and jack laughing.

the blonde smiled a bit as he slowly pushed the door open. samy rolled her eyes that her mom didn’t take the hint until she caught a familiar mop of blonde curls and her boyfriend’s face instead of her mom’s. the brunette’s eyes widened and the shock washed over her that he was standing 10 feet from her bed.

“holy shit. w-will?” samy pushed her computer down her legs, swinging them over the bed and took three big strides towards him.

the blonde embraced her as best as he could without hurting her. samy hugged him tightly, drowning in his scent and familiarity. she couldn't believe he was here in her bedroom.

"hi, baby," the blonde hummed while fully melting into her arms.

"what are you doing here? why are you here? aren't you supposed to be in san jose right now?" samy pushed all of her questions as she stepped out of the boy's embrace much to his dismay.

"i wanted to come see you and check in on you after surgery," will explained with a half smile.

"aren't you gonna get in trouble for just skipping practice?" she couldn't believe that will would skip practice just to come see her, especially now that he was in the nhl.

"i mean, probably," the blonde shrugged like he didn't care which took the girl by surprise.

"you don't care? you're not gonna get to play or something."

"i mean, i do, but i care more about you. i wanted to make sure you knew that and knew you'll never be a burden to me," will cupped her cheeks and tilted her face up to his.

samy's expression softened at her boyfriend's admission, "you ditched practice and risked getting in trouble just for me?"

"i did and i always will for you. running lines and being forced to do conditioning is not as worse as making you think you'd be too much for me or something again. i love you and i'm sorry you thought that," will frowned making samy frown too.

"i love you too, will. i'm sorry again i didn't call sooner," samy said and all will did was lean down to press a sweet kiss to her lips.

they melted into one another, savoring the feeling of their lips pressed together after being a part for so long. when they pulled away the mood felt a lot lighter in the room and so did the smiles.

"glad to have you here for a weekend. anything is better than my mom babying me 24/7," the two shared a laugh.

"don't worry, i'll 100% be babying you," will grinned as samy pulled him towards her bed to cuddle for a bit.

they got under the covers while the brunette reached for the remote to turn something onto the tv. will's big arms wrapped themselves around the girl, squeezing her close as he could without hurting her shoulder. once they landed on a tv show for the time being, samy snuggled in closer and let herself finally completely relax. she breathed will in—the scent of his cologne and laundry detergent filling her nose and quickly putting her to sleep.

[tossawary]

So, Force-users in "Star Wars" appear to have their telepathy and empathy powers mostly only when it's convenient for the plot. (And obviously different characters naturally have different natural talents and different trained skills.) The "Jedi Apprentice" series that I am slowly trying to read introduces more concrete telepathic elements than the vagueness of the films, such as both intentional and UNINTENTIONAL mental bonds between characters.

And it keeps making me thinking about the accidental Force bonds that must often exist between young Force-sensitives and their non-sensitive parents. (Note: This post is mainly about Anakin Skywalker and Xanatos witnessing the violent deaths of their respective parents.)

I used to do a lot of casual reading on toxic and abusive relationships, because I stumbled on a quote from some book and thought that it was just fascinating from a character perspective (I did also use that information for reflection on other stuff, but that's not relevant here). Children usually become deeply attached and attuned to their guardians, even if those guardians are intentionally cruel, or even if those guardians have toxic behaviors because they are stressed and a little self-absorbed or whatever. Children spend the early years of their life with no way out and just trying to survive by keeping their parent (who provides them with that survival) happy. People in abusive relationships are often made to feel responsible for the reactions of their abuser. They often have panicked instincts that demand fight or flight or freeze or fawn reactions to someone getting upset with them.

(I am summing up a LOT of stuff, I know! Unhealthy relationships are very complicated and varied! People all react differently. I'm trying to quickly establish a few points to make a later point here.)

Even adult children trying to establish boundaries with their toxic parents often meet a great deal of resistance, and are sometimes accused of being disloyal and ungrateful and disrespectful and sometimes even abusive themselves, just for doing things like asking their parents not to show up without calling first, because their emotionally immature parents regard any sort of disagreement or conflict as harmful to them and their authority. A lot of adult children talk about the mental struggle that comes with learning how to stand up for themselves against their parents, whether that parent has been intentionally or unintentionally abusive.

Which has all made me think about how much worse any relationship could get if one side of it has telepathy and empathy. Especially if that side of it is a child who doesn't know it! And the parent probably doesn't know about this either!

The Jedi Order is already kind of set up so that a cruel or neglectful Master could potentially do a lot of damage (a few months, at least) to a Padawan before hopefully being caught. Being able to literally feel your abusive Master's intentionally projected / focused disappointment or anger sounds nightmarish for a child. Most Jedi who are decent people shield themselves and do not project negative emotions at vulnerable / impressionable children, but we know from canon that there are plenty of Jedi who fail at being decent people.

(And oh, man, everything about Sith training sounds SO BAD. The mental and emotional damage that can intentionally be done by a Force-user projecting bad vibes is truly off the charts.)

Non-Force-sensitive guardians probably won't have any kind of mental shielding. Even if the guardian is outwardly the nicest parent in the world, it has to be hard that your child is (potentially) apparently constantly unhappy, and you won't know that it's because they are telepathically sensitive to all of your internal tiredness and anger and sadness. There would be no emotional privacy. And if the life situation is bad for the family, then that child is potentially going to grow up being hyperaware of the mental and emotional states of everyone around them, knowingly or unknowingly using the Force, because being able to read the room like that has been imperative to their survival.

Shmi Skywalker seems to be a remarkably even-keeled person for her circumstances. I headcanon her as being (perhaps unconsciously) Force-sensitive herself and having taught herself some degree of mental and emotional shielding due to her hard life. If someone as powerful as Anakin had been raised by someone who was constantly stressed and willing to scream about it, lash out at their child about it, then he could have been even more of a mess. He seems remarkably well-loved compared to what could have happened.

I do think that Anakin and Shmi must have had some accidental mental and emotional bond with each other. If Anakin is as gifted in the Force as everyone says he is, he probably would have naturally reached out to the minds around him, because that's what baseline senses / existence are to him. (It's fun to think about Anakin's existence being wholly unique and WEIRD, and how this causes him to clash with everyone else. It's possible that one else experiences the universe quite like he does.)

Being separated from a parent will cause anxiety in ANY child, but it's interesting to think about how things might have been heightened for Anakin, if Shmi's mind has been an unconscious cornerstone / foundation of his mental reality and his emotional keel since his birth. Due to telepathy / empathy, Anakin may have been unconsciously using Shmi as his mental and emotional ground to stand on for as long as he can remember. Losing his mother, even by separation, when he's been halfway into her head all his life, might genuinely feel like losing a piece of his mind to Anakin. He doesn't initially have the teachings to deal with this kind of catastrophe to his baseline operating system.

He DOES get teaching for these things over the course of the next ten years. (I don't think that he was too old to be trained (Luke was famously 19 in the original "Star Wars") but I do think Anakin could have probably been trained better. Anyway, if he hadn't been trained, Sidious probably would have scooped him up immediately.) But then his mother dies in a very violent and painful way when he's RIGHT THERE, when his control probably already isn't very good due to the situation, and it cannot feel good to be inside the mind of a loved one when they're dying, especially if their own mental and emotional shielding is limited.

Like, yeah, I can see why someone who has telepathy and empathy might have some kind of mental break there. Anakin is permanently losing someone who has potentially been a mental and emotional cornerstone all his life, literally. I don't think it makes his thorough massacre of the Tusken Raiders, down to the last child, in any way excusable, that kind of vengeful, murderous collective punishment is horrifying, but I understand why it might happen from a character perspective.

If were arguing that Anakin is innately more telepathic than most people, he should be able to feel the people he's attacking as well. And it's interesting to think about how someone incredibly naturally empathetic might choose to adapt an apathetic perspective to the suffering of anyone he doesn't personally care about. Yeah, of course he might try to close himself off as much as possible. The universe is already constantly screaming at him with its death and pain. If super-telepath Darth Vader cuts someone down with his own hands, then at least they're quiet now.

Anyway, this post was also about Force-sensitive children who have shitty parents who aren't in any way Force-sensitive. Which, funnily enough, brings us to Qui-Gon Jinn's other potential Chosen One: Xanatos. Xanatos even witnessed his parent's violent death, like Anakin, because Qui-Gon semi-accidentally killed the corrupt Governor Crion for trying to start a civil war and threatening Padawan Orykan.

Like, I just finished reading "Star Wars: Jedi: The Dark Side", a 5-part comic that depicts how Qui-Gon and Xanatos broke up as a Master-Padawan pair. (I wanted context for the "Jedi Apprentice" series.) They're sent there to investigate a murder and are cooperating / protecting Governor Crion, before it is ultimately revealed that Crion has been intentionally stoking the conflict and local xenophobia for his own benefit. Xanatos spends almost the entire time telling Qui-Gon explicitly that he wants to go back to Coruscant, he doesn't want to be here; all but outright saying that he's emotionally conflicted and that there's a conflict of interest here.

It's not made explicit that Crion was abusive before, but he does seem to be a little toxic, and Xanatos clearly has a very rocky relationship with this man who is trying to start a fucking war. It is very clear at the end of the story that Xanatos resents being tested like this, having watched both of his family members die violently.

And I couldn't help but relate this to Anakin: that uneven, childhood-deep Force bond with a parent (which I am presuming exists, there's no specific canonical proof of this for either Anakin or Xanatos that I have yet read) snapping back on a telepath presumably isn't great for a person's mental state. Even though he clearly wasn't too close to his sister, watching Nason die first couldn't have helped either. Merely standing in a room getting blasted with whatever bad emotions Crion is pumping out was probably bad for Xanatos. Xanatos may be vulnerable to psychic damage from this shitty guy specifically.

I get that Jedi are supposed to rise above their attachments and fears, Yoda is clear in that he thinks putting Xanatos on this mission to his chaotic homeworld is necessary to "prove" his status as a Jedi. And I get that maybe someone even presumed Xanatos's personal connections might help the bad situation, more than it might be a flagrant "conflict of interest" in any way. But MAN, does it fucking suck that the Jedi (Yoda) are kind of like, "No, you can't do literally anything else to help people in the galaxy. You have to go face your past right now or else you can't be a good Jedi. We ARE going to judge you if you bow out and cry 'personal conflict'."

To be somewhat fair to the Jedi, Xanatos WILL need to be objective to be a good Jedi Knight and they don't KNOW that Crion is a warmonger, but Xanatos is clearly not ready to see him again, and apparently only goes on the mission because he's afraid that Padawan Orykan will replace him as Qui-Gon's student. He repeatedly accuses Qui-Gon of trying to leave him on Telos IV with his father, which is obviously a fear that's weighing heavy on his mind. Usually when a kid doesn't want to go "home" that badly, it's... indicative of something unpleasant in their home life?

At the end of the comic, Qui-Gon is like, "Oh, this situation is BAD. I was wrong to bring Xanatos here. We need to get out." But Crion is killed, Xanatos apparently has a mental break, scars his own face, and then disappears into the riots? And Qui-Gon apparently assumes that Xanatos has been killed? The execution is more than a little confusing. But yeah, Jedi need to rise above their personal shit, of course, but maybe prematurely exposing this supposedly telepathic / empathetic kid to what's potentially a bunch of deep-seated triggers to "test" him was a bad idea. (And personally I think that the comic is saying that it was a bad idea. Qui-Gon clearly regrets it afterwards.)

As far as I can tell, Xanatos's main crimes here were 1) being a huge snobby brat, partially because he has glaringly obvious rejection / jealousy issues, 2) like everyone else, not really knowing what his father was up to until after things had gone to shit, and 3) having a mental breakdown and attacking both Orykan and Qui-Gon, and ultimately failing to kill or injure them.

Xanatos is flawed, obviously, but he looks pretty young thoroughout these comics. Like, he looks like a teenager? Sixteen-ish? (Every shitty thing that Xanatos does afterwards in regards to Offworld Mining and trying to kill Obi-Wan will be on him, of course!) And I keep thinking about what a child being telepathic / empathetic does to their relationship with a Force-null parent... Especially when that parent is a piece of shit. Especially when watching them die violently. Involuntary magic has really got to suck sometimes...