#it just feels weird if people are seeing her vastly differently than I am

[miqojak]

To what extent does their appearance in game match your vision of them creatively? Are there things you wish you could change about them in this regard? Or possibly do, if you knew of a way to do so...

Little OC Creation Ask List

Jak actually is mostly accurately represented in game - but it's important to me, really, that others can see her nearly as accurately in-game as I do, and crime tools don't allow for that! So most of my crime is just for fun pics, but I'll admit that I wish XIV's character creation would get a refresh? Her tail is the simplest, yet most frustrating thing, funnily enough! I want orange stripes down it like most tabbies have, with an orange tip... but also it should be a bit fluffy. Right now? The fluffy tail has no highlights at all! And the base game tail model is pretty crunchy, and it's also a bit too short for her. There's also the matter of ears - I can't pick ears with spots/highlights at all! The only Miqo'te ears with highlights are tied to specific hairs, and that's pretty darn annoying (/fistbumps poor Au Ra with faces tied to horns, too). The whole idea behind her creation was to make a calico (they're my fav!), and I got about as close as I could manage - but being able to have more color on her ears and tail would go a long way towards achieving that!

So, it's fair to say I wish Jak's model were a little closer to what I envision her as, but it's not too far off - and I do let myself have a little crime (as a treat) to achieve a tail more like hers, and to get her tattoos on (and, really, just to up-rez/smooth out her model bc I find the base XIV character models real crunchy in comparison to other modern day games - I'm eager for the graphical update that's coming! Maybe no more rectangle fingers?!)

But it is actually quite important to me that others see her as I'm seeing her, so I don't use anything too crazy to alter her appearance - RP is interactive, and it would be jarring/less immersive (in my mind) if others were seeing her vastly differently (or if I were - I know some people refuse to even play the game after patches until all mod-type-stuff is updated bc their characters are so heavily modded that they look nothing like in-game models, and that's just not for me!).

[littleshysheep-at-da]

Do you happen to have a discord account? There's a Kumo Desu discord. It's really not the most active nowadays, but it's there

I do actually! But I have probably the smallest social battery in the world and am also just a person who is INSANELY introverted, so I’m a very infrequent conversationalist. (Just a heads up to everyone I tend to give my Discord as a method of Content at Cons but uh… If I ever meet you in person and add you pls don’t worry if I don’t message you, I’m not trying to avoiding you or trying to ghosting you I’m just anti social and a dumby).

But honestly? I avoid general Fandom Servers (and ESPECIALLY Reddit Subs) like the plague. They’re just… too… unfiltered? Like I’ve come to learn how in Fandom everyone has different things they’re interested in. So you can be into the same Series but just completely incompatible, and that’s not that incompatible people are not bad people at all!!! You just have vastly different focuses and therefore not a lot to talk about! And since I’m mostly a Character Analysis Shipper type (and particularly a DIEHARD OTP/OT3 person) I tend to avoid more Gen stuff cause Shippers often get shit. Like excuse you Shippers DO care about Analyzing the Media!! But a lot of people in Kumoko are really in to like… Power Levels? And I mean yeah it has a lot of Stats and stuff so I don’t think that’s like an invalid point of interest!!! But it’s just never been my thing.

Plus with Kumoko I once checked the Reddit (mistake on my part I know) and (if I’m being honest about my bitterness, so heads up this next part is full of spite I’m sorry) saw people going for Ships I hate with such a passion I had to question if they even Read the Series or are Literate at all. Like my god I have never had NOTPs THAT STRONG. Like not liking the same Ships doesn’t have to be a dealbreaker (really depends on what they are though)!!! Like usually Ships I don’t like fall on a scale of “I could see it but it’s not my go to” to “that kinda icky but I knew it would be gross” but this was a “I have never questioned someone’s Reading Comprehension harder in my life and I want murder”. And do not get me started on people who Waifu Shiro and dumb her down to a Dere girl when her best quality is being insane. And people on Reddit are often mean and idk if Discord Servers are the same.

I mean… I guess this me having to come clean that I am… weirdly over protective of my Character Reads and Ships in Kumoko. Like a lot. Like a “I genuinely don’t understand why I get worked up about it so much?” (My best guess is left over Bullied Kid Trauma but I ain’t about to Trauma Dump rn) So ummmm there’s that… (my other all time Fav Series is Persona and idk cause it’s a Game I kinda expect there to be lots of people with bad takes cause people do Play Games without Reading the Dialogue at all (I know it’s super weird) and it’s a big enough (much bigger than Kumoko) Fandom for there to be people of all takes…) honestly Posting on Kumoko content has been super good for me cause it’s making me feel more comfortable talking about my Opinions? So I always have to give a BIG Thanks to people who send in Asks and Like my Posts.

… SORRY THIS REPLY GOT SO LONG AND PERSONAL GAH! Basically I didn’t know there was a Server but I’m not super interested. I’m gonna instead try to cultivate (with an emphasis on cult lmao) the kind of very specific Content I want to see on my own Blog 🫡

Basically I’m a Post about Shiro x Ariel and there three kids Mera, Kyouya, and Sophia as well as my Shun x Katia x Kyouya Agenda until you all go insane and it invades your brain.

[beanghostprincess]

HiyorixKuina anon again!

I was thinking about Kuina more than average and I came up with this concuction.

So you often see that in many Modern AUs you have Perona and Zoro being Mihawk's adoptive children, and while I like this what if Kuina 2as also his adoptive daughter???

Imagine, you have Zoro being an orphan from a young age so he gets taken in by his relatives. But then something horrible happens (could be Kuina's mom dying or Koushiro kills her since everybody seems to agree he is murder coded) so Kuina and Zoro are taken away by CPS and are assigned to Mihawk, who had already adopted Perona. (I hc that Moria would be her bio dad, and he lost custidy due to his experiments on corpses and other stuff)

What we get is a sit-com like dinamic of middle aged single parent swordsman with 3 kids: one is goth, one is insane, one is bith and they are all gay.

I think that Kuina would really like Mihawk since he would teach her and not discriminate (as far as we know) and he would also reconize that Kuina is a better pupil than Zoro, which would add another layer to their rivarly and relationship.

Plus Perona and Kuina being vastly different older sister who are the two opposing extemes on the lesbian spectrum but still come togheter for each other when they need it and to annoy their dumb little brother would be so funny to me. I think Kuina would protect Perona from bullies and general pricks and they would both do wierd shit togheter like mutilate their Barbies to scare people.

I think Kuina would really get along with Zoro's friends siblings, obviously Ace and maybe also Sabo since they both reject the bigoted values that some people impose, but I think she would like Nojiko as well. The two of them both know the horrors of the real world so I think they would use some of the darkest humor ever with each other. And all of them would obviously keep talking about their siblings, that can't be avoided.

I also think Kuina might be Sanji's rival too. After all he treats women vastly different from men (even if its with benevolent intentions) and Kuina woukd interprete thus as Sanji thinking women are weak. So its Zoro and Kuina coming togheter against their shared rival: swirly eyebrowed dumb cook. But ironically Kuina would be fond of the dumb cook's boyfriend, after all Usopp is also a very underrated genious who defyes people's expectation to prove himself as strong and worthy.

Bonus headcanon: Yamace and Hiyoku double dates. Wlw and mlm solidariety at its finest.

HEY BESTIE!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAA I love all of this. It's awesome. I just know Kuina and Perona would be complete opposites but would love and protect each other a lot. Like, they're weird in their own ways. People don't like Perona because she's all dark and creepy and with a very princess-like personality and people don't like Kuina much because she doesn't fall in the standard men have for women and swordsmen. So they fit together perfectly even though they're different. And they'd take care of Zoro and also make fun of him 24/7. This is great. Also, Mihawk be adopting children every fucking where. I don't know if I should be sorry for him or not. At least his family is cool. Perona is his princess <3 Kuina is his fav pupil!! And Zoro is Zoro. He's just Zoro.

This is basically the situation:

(He does care btw, he's just shitty when it comes to feelings and Zoro isn't as cute as his girls)

And yes, Kuina would definitely not stand Sanji but love Usopp. I agree completely. Their views don't match at all but well, Sanji can live with it (he can't. He's crying).

AND YAMACE AND HIYOKU DOUBLE DATES!!!!!!!! CUTE!!!!!!!!! It'd be a bit chaotic, honestly. Both couples have such a different energy 😭😭 Ace might seem a bit more relaxed but the second Yamato goes insane about something, he probably does too if he likes it. So I can definitely imagine Kuina like "I wanted this to be an actual date,, I am sorry, I should've thought about this better-" and Hiyori would just laugh softly at Yamace's shenanigans because she's having the time of her life.

[dragonologist-phd]

pallegina for the asks :-)

thank you!!

How I feel about this character

oh i love her so much. as soon as i met her in the game i knew i'd love her- she's got such a cool design and such a good VA, and she was one of my favorite characters to get to know.

and she's such an interesting flavor of paladin- fueled by loyalty to her order and her country, when it's clear that her order and country don't really appreciate her or treat her how she deserves, and she even knows that but still holds fast to her values...she's got a lot of layers, and i just love her!

All the people I ship romantically with this character

i really like her vibes with Maneha- i'm a sucker for 'opposite attract' relationships, and they hit that well! i do see it as more of a short-lived fling than a long-term relationship, especially if Pallegina stays in her order, but it's still a great dyamic!

My non-romantic OTP for this character

i feel like saying Desta is kinda cheating, but i do love their friendship- they bond over being paladins who hate the gods, especially their godly 'parents', and in my dream world where her Kind Wayfarer ending was treated like real canon, Desta is the one who introduced her to the order

she also has some cute banters with Kana, iirc? it's been too long since i've played through the whole first game, but i remember liking having them in the party together

My unpopular opinion about this character

i am...not a fan of the Deadfire character writing in general, and i think her writing in that game was weak. i actually appreciate her personal quest, but all her stuff with the Vailian republics felt...off. i mean, her personal quest in PoE1 was all about whether to go against her country's orders based on her own beliefs, and that never comes up again? i'm not even saying i want her to be less loyal (like i said, i like the layers!) it's just weird that such a big character moment never comes up when she's once again getting shady orders from her superiors

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

acknowledge that she was a Kind Wayfarer in my worldstate, deadfire! acknowledge it!!

(seriously though. i'm still so disappointed that her ending in PoE 1 had pretty much no effect on her character in Deadfire despite how vastly different her endings could be.)

GIVE ME A CHARACTER and I’ll break their ass down!

[tandytoaster]

It's been one month since my mother had the ruptured aneurysm. The other day she told me she feels a little bit better each day.

But nanny keeps going over there and doing a bunch of shit that hurts her head and stresses her out and that scares me a lot .

Obviously my mother is the one who is taking this the worst as she's the one it happened to but other than that ever since it happened my sense of reality has been shattered and fragmented. I'm scared for my mother, convinced of the worst, and I have to pretend everything is fine with me talking to Steve.

I have to disconnect from my reality, which is the real one in this case, and pretend that nothing happened with him. And i will have to do this forever. I'm angry that my family doesn't ( seem to ) care but I'm confused when my friends do.

I feel like the world has changed, that the course of life is vastly different now. ""Something shifted"" type of shit. Something shifted something changed. Quantum immortality and now I am also somewhere else other than where I started

I am a bitter grown adult and a scared child looking for love and to be loved. But never at the same time. I want to believe that I was never hurt and I refuse to acknowledge all of the fucked up things that have happened to me because of my mom because I cannot handle the thought of thinking of her negatively at this time.

It's like when your leg falls asleep. I see the memory ( the leg is factually there ), i go to feel what it makes me feel ( i go to touch the leg ), but i something is preventing me from feeling it ( i cannot sense the touch ). I am just fully blocked from any negative feeling, any anger or resentment or pain.

I am a child with a car and an apartment and a job in retail management and I don't know how I got here. I am 25 and I will never feel 25. I did not feel 24, i did not feel 23, i did not feel 22, i did not feel 21, i did not feel 20. I move forward but I stay the same.

I feel selfish for being so scared and mentally disturbed by this because obviously this did not happen to Me, this happened to my mom. But at the same time this has destroyed my ability to believe the nuance that I can both be bitter and still love my mother. I can no longer understand that a family is complex and that I can still love someone who has failed me so catastrophically. I can see and understand in others, but not myself. When I apply that to myself, it doesn't make sense. When I try to use logic and reason and nuance, it doesn't click. "This is a normal response for people in these types of situations", those are just words and I know what they mean but they don't comfort me.

I want to believe this feeling will go away eventually but I know what I'm like and I know how weird beliefs stick to me. The trajectory of life changed in 2020 and if I were smart enough, if i wait long enough, there would be some way to go back and change it. This isn't my main disturbance anymore but it still exists and its still my default state of belief. Its been almost 5 years.

A lot of times i don't understand the gravity of a situation but here I feel like i'm the only one who truly understands how horrific and realistically, statistically deadly this is.

This is all over the place . I feel like i have so much more to add but i cant find it . Like this has really REALLY fucked me up in a way that i can't figure out how to describe. I'm me but I'm 2 me's ( resentment + yearning ) and even though they're both me they do not exist at the same time anymore its either one or the other and resentment has been kicked out entirely

[ghastlybin]

Reader has a strong passion for everything is creepy and dark and she likes to visit old castles and mansions. In one one her trips, she goes in a real beautiful gothic castle but she find the owner: Kim Bora (also SuA is a vampire and they fall in love)

Dude, vampire SuA can on GOD ruin me I am not kidding I don’t even really care for vampires as much as other mythical beings but this is an exception fr and I think I like vampires a little more now that Bora is one SHEESH 🥵 as always, thank you so much for requesting btw!! So sorry if this is late or bad💜💜🫶🫶🥹 ily though but goodnight lol

Pairing: Vampire! SuA x GN Reader

Word count: 1.8k

Genre/contents: Maybe a mixture of angst and fluff? Vampire AU

TW: talks of blood & blood sucking, missing people, implied m u r d e r, cannibal mention but no cannibals involved, I know veins are triggers for some people, these are all just mentions though I’m not detailed about these things but to be safe I will include them here anyway

Note: y’all already know I have to overexplain myself lmao I’m bad at fluff relating to falling in love so please excuse my attempt at it, I also love horror/creepy/dark things so… Yeah. I loved this request sm!! :,) Also also, I lowkey (like 5%) based Bora’s castle off of Castle Dimitrescu from Resident Evil Village because it was a pretty cool & beautiful fcking castle in the game if I gotta say :,) except the window entrance ofc I improvised that shit lol but I hope you enjoy it and that it’s up to your standards, otherwise please please let me know! I’m always open for constructive criticism. 🥹 Adios, until next time

Fck it we’re using this gif again.

On the way out of town, you’ll feel bittersweet, and all the more refreshing, the feeling of leaving the city in your rearview.

Where the roads get narrowly winding and more flora is evident around you and the further the road takes you, you see why you left the city.

And why you may never return.

-

It was beautiful.

The way certain things unsettled most, how with just the right amount of shade you could turn something completely mundane and make it dark.

From the webs of spiders to coffins, to the macabre style contained in the form of artwork, stories, the horror, even.

The eerie allure of the darkness had to it.

The century-old castles, mansions, and even regular townhomes- All untouched and deprived of signs of life, and at the same time they looked lived in.

The haunting beauty of it all.

You were in the chokehold of all things creepy, all things dark, and a deep-set curiosity.

You didn’t mind the way it all made you feel. Some would say you’re just braver than the rest, others would say you’re weird or that you’ve simply just embraced the darkness.

Maybe you were brave.

Maybe they were weird for not seeing the way you saw things.

Maybe you have embraced the darkness.

You were never afraid of the dark.

You loved it. Growing up, you imagined yourself living in a dark castle or mansion that gave everyone in town eerie chills that would unnerve them to look at, and yet they were still very beautiful to look at.

The other kids back then would debate which urban legend they believed Castle Bora held more.

The one where a vampire was living there in that unexplored, untouched, and far from society-castle- where it was meant to be. That Bora was the name of the vampire living there.

Or the one where Bora was a cannibalistic witch that would lure young people into her Castle to feed on their blood to keep her youth.

You argued that that was still a vampire, not a witch at all, and there was a vastly large difference between vampires, cannibals, and witches.

No one ever listened to your explanations.

But you at least knew the difference between the three.

Castle Bora.

Its grand walls encompassed the area, the pointed arches, the vaulted ceilings that were located on the inside, and the grey tint to the exterior topped off the beauty of the castle altogether.

You knew since you were a kid that you would explore the castle.

You’ve explored Castle Handong, Castle Yoohyeon, and even Castle Yubin before it had closed off to the public for reasons unknown.

Castle Bora has been your goal exploration and the day had finally come.

You had enough money for the transportation, you knew the route thereafter that too had been kept hidden from the public after someone had gone missing when going that same route.

An explorer of old castles and mansions, they said.

That only made you anticipate the trip more. The fascination of what was out there with you and this beautiful castle.

You weren’t crazy, and you didn’t have a death wish.

But you were going to explore this castle.

If that meant sharing the same fate? Well, death was never one of your fears anyway.

The long, winding road stretched on as you drove, excitement building up inside of you as you were finally going to live out your childhood dream.

The paved roads turned into dirt, the trees became more close-knit, and civilization was far beyond you.

And there it was, Castle Bora. Home to the late Kim Bora.

You pulled over to a stop just before the road had been cut off before the gates.

The centuries-old castle looked to be well taken care of, to your surprise. You stopped your car and grabbed a camera and a notepad to transfer to your journal later on before heading for the front gates.

To further your surprise, the gates opened with ease, the loud creak it made was the only sound accompanying you in the isolated area.

The main door was locked, to your dismay, but you’ve never been one to give up. Not when you were this close to getting in.

One thing you learned from the other castles was; there is always at least one window unlocked.

Luckily, you found that one window and it let you into a room that exited into something reminiscent of a main hall located on the other side of the main entrance.

You marveled at the sight.

The beautiful exterior, the chandelier that hung in the middle of the main hall with stairs spiraling upwards, and the wallpaper that had been maintained for centuries.

You took as many photos as you could as well as notes to help keep the memory fresh in your mind for later.

You began to ascend the stairs but were immediately greeted by a rough shove back down the stairs.

Luckily you were only two steps up and didn’t fall as hard as it felt.

Your camera was still intact, but it had slid across the slippery linoleum tiles of the main hall along with your notepad.

“Breaking into my castle, taking photos, notes… Who are you and why shouldn’t I kill you right here?”

You were in a trance seeing the woman descending the stairs and hovering over you. Her beauty was mesmerizing in ways you couldn’t begin to describe,

“I didn’t know someone lived here.”

The woman pulled you up to your feet, harshly by the collar of your shirt.

“No one warned you about me?” She bore a hole into your eyes and for a minute, you felt her peering into your soul.

“Bora?” The corners of your mouth curled upwards. “It’s so cool to meet you.”

Bora blinked, taken aback as she let go of your shirt. “Why aren’t you screaming?”

“That would be rude, wouldn’t it?” You fixed your shirt and retrieved your camera and notepad.

“Everyone screams when they see me.”

You checked your camera to see if it was still functioning. “Why?”

You met her eyes right as she snarled, showing you her fangs and running her tongue under the sharp tip.

“You should fear me.”

And you smiled, even more captivated by her.

“I should,” you took a step closer to her. “But I don’t. You are my role model.”

Bora glared at you, but only for a second and out of disbelief.

You were the first human that hadn’t screamed or tried running away from her. The first human she didn’t immediately lunge at and suck the blood right out of your veins.

The first time she had ever been called a role model.

“If you aren’t going to kick me out, might I request a tour of this beautiful castle?” You mentally prepared yourself for the rejection, seeing as you did break in thinking no one lived here.

But Bora accepted.

She showed you around the entire castle and even let you take more photos and notes. She watched the excited gleam in your eyes the further in she took you.

Everything about her castle she thought was average, you treated it as gold. She appreciated that you were careful as to not make any messes and asked her before you took any other pictures.

It was when you had tilted your head to view a sculpture she had on display for centuries, that she saw the crook of your beck exposed and the veins lying under the layers of skin that could be easily broken by her fangs.

And for the first time in centuries, she fought the urge. The craving or need to taste your blood.

The hunger she felt within.

She wanted you.

But she fought it. She fought it because she was your role model.

She fought it because of how appreciative you were during the tour of her castle.

She fought it because you were the first person in centuries that didn’t treat her as a monster.

Bora wasn’t a witch or a cannibal.

But she was a vampire and vampires have needs too.

“Are your fangs real?” You asked.

Bora snapped out of her craving for sinking her teeth into your neck with a nod.

“So you’re a vampire?” Saying that out loud, you felt silly. Who would ask something like that in someone else’s home?

“Yes.” Bora uttered. You smiled, fascinated.

“Cool.”

“It’s cool until you have to watch every mortal you love die before you.”

Your smile faded a little, and a hint of guilt surfaced.

“Do you want to turn me?”

“Absolutely not.” Bora immediately shook her head. She would never wish her condition on anyone else.

The pain and isolation she’s faced.

Even now, meeting you, she wouldn’t consider it. She was beginning to like your company too.

But she would never simply turn anyone.

“Shame. I wouldn’t mind living here forever.” You spoke, closing your notepad as the tour ended.

“Guess it’s time for me to go?” You looked at her expectantly, hoping she would lead you back to the main entrance.

Hearing you say that, Bora felt the isolation over the centuries kicking in again.

You were invested in her castle, you even broke in to see it. That kind of dedication was admirable to her. And now you were talking about leaving.

Possibly never seeing her again.

“Would you like to stay for dinner?” Bora blurted, immediately trying to remain cool.

“I promise, it’s not human meat or blood.”

“I would love to.” You smiled, accepting her offer without a moment's hesitation.

She wondered if you’d still have said yes if it were human meat and blood she’d be serving.

You were someone Bora liked having around, despite you breaking in and her almost pouncing on you first thing.

You were someone Bora yearned for in her period of isolation.

Maybe not you specifically, but someone who didn’t run away screaming in terror. Someone who didn’t seem to care that she was a monster.

It scared her to have met you.

Seeing your face, hearing your voice, the faint scent of your blood as you stood beside her, walking beside her, and how she might lunge at you at any given moment if the urge got too strong.

No.

Bora wasn’t afraid because you were a human vessel full of fresh blood.

She was afraid for the first time in centuries, she felt a beat in her chest where her heart should be.

She was afraid of how alive you made her feel by meeting you.

She was afraid you, too, would leave.

“Right this way.”

Bora hoped you would visit her again.

And with a smile, you would vow to.

-

Back in the city, you’ll smell the pollution of car exhaust and hear cars honking, people chattering, and school or church bells ringing.

And you’ll wish you had never returned.

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

92. "Cutting their hair for them" with Ingo & Akari?

(101 ways to say i love you with actions) (still taking!)

(why have we talked so much about. these twos hair in particular. whats that about. i mean i guess it was only once or twice each but still weird that it happened once or twice)

Akari had stopped bothering with the hairclips she'd arrived with a while ago. And she'd certainly never given much thought to style or cutting. Which weren't things that anyone had paid much attention to originally, but watching her struggle with the comb for the third week in a row, it now seemed rather relevant.

Finally she gave up on a particularly difficult knot, and looked over to Ingo, holding the comb out. "Help?"

He moved over and took it from her, and started working on the detangling process. He hoped he wouldn't have to get the scissors out again.

"This would likely not be so difficult if you performed more regular maintenance," he pointed out. She rarely bothered attacking it more than once a week, if that.

"I know, but it—ow—it's such a pain," she groused.

"Yes, well, again. If you did it more regularly..."

She hissed and did her best to twist away when he yanked at the knot again, one or two of the comb's teeth now firmly stuck.

"If having long hair is truly so arduous," he suggested, not really seriously, "you could always have it cut short."

"Huh," Akari said, sounding genuinely thoughtful. "I guess I could."

After some more very careful plying, he managed to get the comb out and the knot mostly undone. She tilted her head back to stare up at him. "You could do that, right?"

Oh, no. He withdrew his hands and held them up, somewhat defensively. "I was thinking more along the lines of, on our next visit to Jubilife–"

"Yeah, they probably won't do it because I'm not a member," she dismissed. Which, that was fair, that was how things typically went with most of Jubilife. "And that'll be like weeks. I wanna do it now."

"This is a very sudden decision," he tried to reason. "I do not believe I am entirely qualified–"

"You cut your own hair! And shave! All the time!" she pointed out, indignant.

"That- that is vastly different," he argued back. For one thing, Akari's hair was much thicker, and probably wouldn't take nearly as kindly to just being lopped off in one big chunk. Especially considering she typically wore it down, rather than tucked underneath a hat like his was.

But then she leaned on his arm, and headbutted his shoulder, and stared up at him and said "Please?" and he realized that he was never going to win this argument.

"Warden Arezu is proficient at cutting hair, I believe," he proposed instead.

"Yeah, but I don't trust her."

"And you trust me?"

The response was immediate. "Yup."

He sighed. "That seems rather like a mistake."

---

They did it the next day, outside, behind the stand of trees that made for some shelter from the wind. Akari sat on the ground, legs folded and with an old blanket wrapped around her shoulders, and Ingo sat behind her, still feeling wholly uncertain about the whole thing.

He'd recovered the clips she'd abandoned. He wasn't yet entirely sure what his plan for them was, but they couldn't hurt to have on hand.

"If this turns out poorly," he said again.

"Who's gonna care? We're all the way out here, it's not like I see that many people," she pointed out.

"Warden Melli will be very upset with me, I imagine."

She stuck her tongue out. "Who cares. He's always mad about something."

So he started cutting.

At one point, several months ago, she'd had bangs, and now those had grown out into the uneven bits that were constantly falling in her face. For the sake of consistency, he chose to standardize closer to them, aiming for around chin length. The rest of her hair was, despite both of their best efforts, still a tangled mess, which tamped down most of the reservations he'd had about cutting it all off.

The first part was easy—just one or two big arcing cuts that took a good foot or two with them. Then it was a matter of cleaning that up, which was significantly harder, and cost several more inches in compromises. Akari was a very good model, at least—she leaned into his hands, but mostly sat still, just happy to have an excuse to hang out so close.

Once her hair looked somewhat passable, he set the scissors aside, and picked up the clips and comb instead. Any knots that had survived his aggressive cutting were now much easier to tease apart, and he actually got it all hanging mostly flat again. Then the formerly-bangs were picked up in even halves and pulled to the sides, pinned far back enough that her ears were uncovered and the hair tucked just behind them framed her face.

"There," he said, trying to sound decisive when he pulled away.

She squirmed and looked back. "Oh, you're done already?"

Well, head-on, it was inarguable that she did look significantly better than she had this morning. That was a low bar, but at least he'd managed to clear it. He nodded back. "Go see what you think."

They had one small mirror that he'd also taken outside for this task. She retrieved it, and then spent several seconds just... staring. Then she tilted her head, and he heard her make a small oh! sound, and watched her reach up to run her fingers through the framing part.

She set the mirror down, and when she looked back at him, she had tufts of black hair curling around her neck, and that grin on her face that could outshine the sun.

"I love it!" she declared.

He let out a breath of relief.

[whiskeyswifty]

Swifties hate it when you point out that well… Taylor’s a millionaire lmao

Lol yeah it’s a weird hang up they have and I don’t fully get how they are able to ignore that it exists. Being a multi-millionaire is a neutral thing on paper, like it does not inherently mean that you’re a villainous person. When I bring up her immense wealth I’m usually referencing it to highlight how her life is very unique. Fiscally she has different concerns than her fans. Her everyday life insofar as what she thinks about when she wakes up and how she accomplishes normal tasks is vastly different from all of her fans. people who have extreme wealth like she does live in a totally different world, sometimes they don’t even realize how far removed from the normal world they are. Again it doesn’t make them bad people by pure virtue of having immense wealth. People in her case especially who earned that wealth through their own ingenuity are not evil for having it. It’s just a fact and it affects so much of her life and how she is able to lead a life that would be almost unrecognizable to a lot of her fans in ways they have probably never even conceived of. Full disclosure, I grew up around people who have extreme wealth like hers and for some of them it was even more gratuitous because it was old money. Me and my immediate family are very middle class and I grew up comfortably middle class in the suburbs. But these wealthy people and the way they move through the world, it’s not the same world for them as it is for the rest of us. For someone who’s art you believe to be very personal, it’s very strange that you would discount this very major factor in her life when engaging with it. I think it helps ground her that she grew up middle class, towards the upper end of middle class but she was not extremely wealthy to the point that it separated her from the world. But for the past 10 or so years her life has been the bubble of the supremely wealthy and that affects your worldview, especially if you are not self-correcting.

I think you can see how aware she is of her privilege now and how she talks about her problems, like in the antihero bts video where she is very aware that her problems are unique to her very privileged position. She’s not saying that she doesn’t have problems but she is saying that the problems of very wealthy, famous people are extremely manageable, comparably. As much as money and fame can bring about new problems, that money also allows them to manage those problems easily if they’re willing to accept help for those problems. And she is asking for her fans to not worry because she’s aware of far more pressing and dire problems in the world and doesn’t feel like her own problems are worth anyone else losing sleep over. There are going to be some things that she refuses to concede on because she believes they help maintain her safety. Things like her use of the private jet and buying up all of the neighboring apartments in her building in New York are great examples of money being able to help assuage her fears and anxieties. And you can also argue that they are less about greed and more about her trying to minimize threats to her personal safety from psycho people. So I would even say that I don’t think she is egregious with her wealth. She simply has it and is enjoying the fruits of it, as is her right having earned it herself. She is not abusing the power her wealth gives her in harmful or neglectful ways on the whole, so her wealth is not a particularly evil attribute, and yet her fans have a very weird relationship with it. I guess it gets in the way of feeling like she is just like them, which a lot of her fans use as the linchpin for their connection to her music and her as a celebrity. It’s fine if they feel that way, live your life however you need to to cope. but I am very much going to continue to acknowledge her wealth as it is not a secret nor is it shameful lol. it’s just a fact of her life.

[thisisnarcissismtalking]

Hi dearies

You see, the thing is that I don't have anything that interesting happening right now, that I'm very unsure what to talk to you about. And it's all because I don't do much except studying and planning a DND campaign, because my dearest girlfriend is out of town!! 😭😭😭

And I know, I know, I'll see her soon when I move in with her, but it won't be the same due to university starting, our study hours being vastly different, and general big city conditions being sadder and... more boring in a way. It may be just my attachment to this town and our little adventures around it, but it's real.

So! I thought I'm gonna speak some stuff about relationships, friendships and generally my attitude towards people in my life - as a narcissist. Cause that's a thing that I thought very much about lately and I need to get it out of me finally.

Because I really don't think I need so many people in my life - in a deep, close relationship way. And that being said, I don't think I do have.. like, you know, close friends?

The person closest to me, my girlfriend, is also my very, very close friend in a way. She knows a lot about me, I try to tell her everything and to not keep secrets. It's hard because I'm not yet feeling that well about some of my narcissistic traits, that part of society would probably deem strong flaws. You know - the jealousy, the high need for constant attention and praise despite not doing much, or even, resulting from these, passive and negative attitude towards some people and ideas. Because when I'm jealous of someone I usually tend to get quiet and unhappy, and I can't for the love of god hide it, so I just come off as acting weird xddd

But yesterday I realized another thing about me. And it's that I am.. pretty much indifferent to most people. And holy hell is it a complicated subject though.

It's not like I don't hang out with people. I even like some of them. But it isn't anything more than that. They are people I meet sometimes to go on a short walk or play DND with. And the thing is, I do not feel empathy, practically at all. Adding up these things - I am mostly indifferent to what happens in their lives unless I can somehow see myself in them (worse thing is if they see themselves in me sometimes, because they are usually wrong and it's weird, stop projecting onto me people, only my gf knows me well enough to guess what's up with me xdd).

It's hard because I also have a thing with seeing relationships as "what can I get if I talk to this person". And because of this, my attitude towards university colleagues is right now "get to know someone so you would have a person you can get notes from, and maybe borrow money sometimes if you need", cause that was a surprising lot of my high school relationships. But I don't feel the need to befriend anyone. I don't need friends.

And yeah, many people would say "wdym it's hard, it's so cool! I wish I wouldn't need friends, I don't like caring about other people...."

...idk, I don't know what to say to you. I don't relate at all xdd I just sometimes feel bad about it. Cause on one hand I would like to know someone who would understand me, maybe someone cool with similar interests as me, but on the other, I just know that I wouldn't feel the need to contact them, talk and make moves to get the friendship going. Probably also get tired of them quickly.

I may just... very much not like people and hate everyone that isn't my girlfriend because they tire me, they have problems that they talk about often and that I don't care about at all, and sometimes they're funny. But that's all. I don't even feel I want praise from them because I don't care about it.

I hold dearly sweet words from my favorite person and time spent with them. I care about them and wouldn't ever want that relationship to end. And it's not for the stereotypical reasons - she criticizes me a lot, and she's not treating me like a walking goddess, only giving me praise. Nah, I just love her. Actually and honestly. I want to get better for her in ways that I can. And these aren't things I would say about anyone else in the whole world.

....I wonder if my npd has something to do with being demisexual. It would be a really interesting connection considering all of the above, don't you think?

That would be all for today. I think. I would maybe do a post about my relationship with myself too. So maybe it's not all for today, but for now.

[justlikejohn]

how r u feeling about p3 reload

hello oh my god im so glad you asked.

i. am. so. goddamn. HYPED!! p3 is my favourite game full stop so im so excited for the fandom revival and the new content and the new discussions and seeing what theyve changed and what theyve kept the same and shit... any excuse to replay persona 3 is a good excuse in my book

however. i am not sure that persona 3 warrants a "reload"? not in a negative way: i just think that a pc release that included overworld FES aspects and the answer as WELL as FeMC and direct control of party members would have satisfied people more than a "reload". i was secretly looking forward to a persona 6 release announcement, and to see a remaster of a game that i think still holds up (and was just inaccessible to players) is a little disappointing :p

a lot of the appeal of p3 to me is how .. dated it is, in a way? its SO 2000s with the mp3 players and the fashion and it just aligns so much with what was "cool" then. i love it! im not sure if the reboot will go for that "retro" look, since its trying very hard to emulate the persona 5 style (which imo is very modern and cool, with all the stark contrast and black shading..) ultimately a more modern look would not be a negative, just different!

i am SO ATTACHED (so attached.) to the original voice actors. vic mignogna as junpei iori is what hooked me in the first place because he just has such a phenomenal energy that he brings to the character! like. i prefer og fuuka (paula tiso, i think?) and i hated seeing her replaced in sequel games :(( i LOVE the original english cast. i dont know enough about the new VAs to judge their abilities, but it will be REALLY weird to see a persona 3 without the original english cast! ill probably be curmudgeonly about the new cast upon seeing their performance, sorry in advance 😅

i still have my fingers crossed for FeMC!! :'3c shes my favourite.

i HATE the new sprites. where is the character. the style. why is it so bland now :( why does junpei look so ugly. give me back my boy. why do the look like, contorted in that weird AI art way?

i LOVE the new 3D models. aigis is so BEAUTIFUL. yukari and the MC look fantastic too..... wahhhh the models and the environments pop so well! i love the city aesthetics of p3 and a good 3D environment will lend itself so well to the clean, metallic, imposing look of tatsumi port island.......

i also find the janky-ness of persona 3 (original) very endearing. i love how strega is so LAME and that they seem to have very little plot presence, i love the lower poly models, i love the cheese of the plot and death motifs. i wonder how the remake will approach this jank! battling/dungeon crawling will probably be vastly improved (yay!) but im not sure how id feel about "fixing" the problems of the story! if they clean up the story - fixing pacing, honing character arcs, redoing cheesy dialogue - it smooths what is a raw and edgy and deeply emotional story! im not sure id like a "smoothed" persona 3 experience! then again, why remake a game to keep every piece of dialogue and every event exactly the same? it would be weird for them not to change the story! this is a very big dilemma for me :0

so yah there! :)) overall, excited for the fandom revival but not sure that persona 3 needed a remake rather than a definitive release. please, if anyone has anything to add i would love to hear what you all think! :)))

[hopeful-hugz]

We have heard the mun ramble but what about the muses 🤔🤔🤔 I want to see Hope talk about her relationships with the Joshuas and Hanekomas 👀👀👀

"M- me??? Well, I guess I can? I'll, uhm, I'll go by universe then? Starting with my people, then my friends."

"I'll start with Highness and my Pops; Decaf:"

🎶 @kingsmedley || "Highness is my little brother, through and through. I love him dearly and have been there as much as I can to support him, both in his individual journey and as the team we've evidently started to become. He's been pretty busy lately and I think that's gonna be consistent now that he's getting the proper and professional help he needs. When he is around though, we're... Well, we're the king and queen, a hell of a duo unlike anything in this universe. I still worry about him something fierce but I'm also making sure he has his own independence separate from me as well, cause that's important for him to have."

☕ @strawberry-barista || "Pops and I's relationship at the moment is... tense. But that's not either of our faults; we're just on our own personal journeys and growing as people. Finding ourselves and what we need in life, in different ways. We're not in a position where it's healthy to be your typical father-daughter pairing, but we do what we can when we're physically and mentally able to. It's caused some strain, but that doesn't mean I see him as any less of a father. I know he's gonna be there to support me and love me no matter what happens, just like I'll be there to do the same with him. I... suppose a good way to see it is that instead of this being a case with the kid being raised, instead it's starting at a place where the kid has grown up and is supporting the parent as much as they're still supporting a child; he still teaches me things and supports me, but I'm also doing the same. Cause I'm not a kid anymore, I came into the picture as an adult and that's alright. I love him dearly and always will and I know once we've both developed more as people, we can start developing as a team again too."

"Next the folks from my other home; Rubato, Topaz and Opalite:"

🌌 @the-composer || "Rubato, Luna, Nocturne, I have a lotta names for him at this point. Everyone knows about the whole crush thing at this point- hell there was a whole drama about it. But that's kinda dwindled a little bit since it first developed, or blurred? I dunno how to word it; articulation and all that. But yeah, the feelings are still there, but I'm focusing more on what we have here and now, which is something surprisingly close. Like Highness and Requiem, Luna could see everything I'm made of if he so wanted; my thoughts right down to my very core. So, like with Highness... I took a chance and was completely open with him without going into my life story and it definitely was the right move. Where I was open and honest with every question and inquiry he threw my way, he gave me little bits about himself in return. It's built not only a foundation of trust, but of a deep and genuine friendship that has taught me a lot. Not just helping me find myself as a person, but showing me there's a lot more to life too- That friendships can be just as intimate as anything familial or romantic. That there can be a love and care there that can even surpass that. I'm not ashamed to say he's one of my best friends and that I love him dearly. I wouldn't be becoming the person I am today without him having come into my life."

💫 @catncore || "Topaz... I know he sees me as a kid still, and that he wants to see me healthy and thriving. But our relationship is a vastly different one than anything I have with Pops or Opalite... He's a lot older than myself and knows parts of me that I can't quite articulate. He doesn't only see the human with weird powers; he sees the aether too... the infant half of me that, while he knows more than Pops and I, still knows very little about. But he sees it regardless and accommodates for that. He's taken up the role of being a foundation for me where Pops doesn't yet have the experience to and has become a mentor for me; not only teaching me the workings of the UG so I can operate properly as an aether, but also has helped me just... in life in general. Something tells me he's been down some of the paths I'm going down, honestly. I don't think he wants to see me hurt and I don't wanna see him hurt either. I do what I can to help him, even if it's more just being his emotional support at the moment and kinda giving him not only some solidarity, but something interesting to look into. We're gonna be doing some research stuff soon; both to see if he can't help me heal from some of my recent ordeals, but so he can learn more about my kind as well. Heh, cause I KNOW he's curious about that, I would be too. I love him a whole lot and I owe him a lot, not just for all this but for giving me a home and some work experience that's more localized, rather than multiversal."

🎨 @dandybarista || "Ean- Opalite and I probably have the most different relationship to any Hanekoma I'll be talking about here. He's comfortable and a little distant, but I know he cares still. Not around too often but he makes it a point to check in when he sees me and I really appreciate that; I do the same with him, too. He's got the same sort of vibes Don used to... Wh... where he's relaxed but there's a lot going on behind the scenes... where he's friendly but prefers to stick to his people mostly. Where... when I need him, he's there. Even if it's just because I don't know what exactly I am that day and want to just exist with someone. He doesn't know just how much having someone like that in my life again means to me... H... how much I needed that; just a subtle affirmation that I exist." There's a moment to collect herself and clear her throat. "He's taken an interest in the fact that I've been trying to make things too. It's kinda prompted me to start doing it more... so when he comes to see me, or I see him, I have stuff to show him. It's still not a lot but... I'm getting there. He means a lot to me and I hope I can return the favor and do things for him someday too. Heh, I guess we do have some experiments of our own coming up too, eventually. Hopefully he gets something interesting outta that."

"There's a couple others I consider mine too, even if they don't consider me theirs of I haven't met them yet."

🎲 @abstractreign || Requiem is someone I'm still actively bonding and growing with. He's seen some... pretty vulnerable moments with me; tried protecting me from Maria... I got him hurt. Somehow, despite that, he still cares; and I care a lot about him too. He's my movie buddy and he's teaching me to play a lotta board games. There's something going on with him, behind those eyes. He's tired... He's planning something, and I think I have a feeling I know what it's about, but I'm waiting for him to come to me first. I know it's still pretty early, but I feel confident in saying he's another good friend and I love him a lot. I just hoe I can help make him happier someday, instead of worrying him to hell and back."

⌛ @heavenshot || "I haven't met this one, but I know he's there somewhere... I felt his presence in the timeline. I think he's Requiem's. It's only a theory, though. I can't help but get the feeling that something's very wrong."

"Onto some others that are some pals of mine!"

⚜ @strawberry-barista || "Espresso, aka Supernova. He's been a huge rock for me for almost a year now. It's a bit of the reverse situation with me and Luna, where he's got feelings for me and I can't reciprocate. That doesn't mean I don't see him as an incredibly dear friend though and one of the few other friends I can feel like I can be intimately affectionate with. It may not be love in the way he was hoping for, but I do love him very much and I'm thankful for all he's done for me. He's taught me a lot about myself and how I operate as not only a person, but an aether too. He's also made me privy to the fact that for some Composers, the creative energy I give off can be like a drug and I have to suppress it a little more around some people than others. It's been incredibly helpful."

🏙 @fangedstories || "Starshine and Obsidian are folks I met recently! Starshine's the cutest lil guy out there and I really feel for him. He's very sick though and I've done what I can to make sure he's going to at least have some semblance of a life ahead of him before he has to go fulfil his destiny. He's got a hell of a support in Obsidian too; I dunno a while bunch about him, but he's another Hanekoma who knows what I am, possibly more than Topaz does, since he specifically called me an aetherling. Only one other person has addressed me as that right off the bat, after all. I'll be going back to visit them once Starshine's taken his rightful place in his universe. I did promise after all."

❔ @fangedstories || "I've only talked to this Joshua once, so I can't really give him a proper nickname yet, but I'm leaning towards Bolero for him. He knew what I was right off the bat, so I can only assume he read me or is very, VERY different from the others I've met so far. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious."

"And of course I gotta give an honorable mention to Lait and Mocha; Strider's fiancé and father-in-law. I don't know them too well but they both seem extremely wise and like they've been through a lot. I can definitely see why Strider acts like she does with them being some of the biggest influences in her life."

[scoracletrashlives]

The Backstory

Hello all!

I am ScoracleTrash. Have been ScoracleTrash since 2015. You may also call me Pidge. My main blog is neil-panenby. Because I am a pan enby. She/her and they/them both work. Many things about me are very different than they were when I created the original Scoracle Trash blog. One thing that is the same? Scoracle is my OTP.

I am a psychiatric hospital liaison in my early 30s and once upon a time, back in 2015, while playing the then-new video game Arkham Knight, I had a weird fucking idea.

See, I have been a Scarecrow groupie since Batman Begins came out when I was but a teenager, and I had long been trying to figure out a Scarecrow ship that spoke to me. I tried an OC on DeviantArt ages ago and that fizzled out fast. Hattercrow never held my interest. Becky never clicked.

So I’m playing this game as a mid-20something and it hits me.

Scarecrow and Oracle. Jonathan and Barbara. They’re both navigating traumatic backstories, wicked smart, fond of the odd bit of theatrics, and they’ve just been thrown together by this narrative like never before. Why not?

So I threw together an AU fic and slapped it up on ao3 and something super wild happened.

It spoke to people.

Somehow, I made it work. I made it believable enough to click with 107 people in the last 8 years. Which is MINISCULE compared to many ships but HUGE to me. Because I was, as far as I can tell, the namer of this ship and the first person to write about it and put it on ao3. The first person to draw parallels between the experiences of the two characters and put forth that maybe, just maybe, they might understand each other.

Now, do I take a bunch of liberties with my writing to make my vision work? Of course I do. But so does every fanfiction author. And Rocksteady did as well when they made their games. Honestly, every new team that takes the helm of an established comic book title does, for that matter.

Do I think that ANYONE should be in a relationship with a fear-obsessed serial killer in real life? No. Don’t be daft.

Do I owe anyone these disclaimers? No, but I’m stating them anyway.

Scoracle is my fantasy. It is escapism. Like all escapism, it owes no one believability nor is anything about it required to translate into the real world as healthy or admirable. If it squicks you out, that’s valid. If it turns you on, that’s valid. If you don’t care either way, that’s valid. I never meant it for anyone but myself. The fact that posting about it years ago generated any interest at all surprised me.

The fact that upwards of 100 people also see something of merit in this fantasy is wild to me. Even if you never see this, I hope you feel my love and gratitude wherever you are.

Scoracle is healing to me. It’s two people with decades of trauma and brilliant minds seeing each other, really seeing each other, and accepting the differences in each other that would make people less dedicated to one another irreconcilable. It’s two people leading each other out of the shadows of what’s been done to them and the people that did it to them.

And on a more shallow note…It’s dark aesthetics and late nights and sarcasm and intellectual conversation and passion and just enough danger.

Over the last 8 years, my writing has matured and improved VASTLY and I fully intend to go back and create rewritten versions of the first two fics in the series, Pet Bat and Her Long Halloween. The originals will not be deleted.

For now, Heart of Darkness has finally begun.

Not sure who all is on tumblr, but if you manage to make your way here, welcome to the clubhouse. Pour yourself a beverage of choice, sink into the leather sofa, choose your music, and let’s talk Scoracle!

-Pidge DePeche

[casualnearenjoyer]

Personally I think it’s probably not great for younger teens to be super close friends with adults, especially without anyone knowing, because if they are DMing someone with that much more life expirience, that opens them up to predators, due to the gap in experience of what is and isn’t normal in a relationship, experience which can only be gained over a lifetime of practice.

That said, I think knowing older people is absolutely important for development. I used to be on a discord server back when I was 18 and 19 and there was one woman in her 40s who was so different from any adult I had ever met, and helped me see a path in life for myself.

She was weird and not ashamed of it, openly liking faries and wearing outfits that sounded unusual from her description of them. She was weird in a way in a way that I have always been too shy to be, and it gave me hope that someday I can beat the social anxiety and be the cool adult who wears what they want and enjoys their weird hobbies without being beaten down by the judgement of others.

She was aromantic and lived with roommates in her 40s. That was important for me to see because I was starting to wonder how I would be able to live in the future, given that I don’t want to marry and I saw people saying it’s lame to live with roommates as an older person. Seeing her doing that reassured me that it was a possible path.

From what she told us of her job history, it seemed she took a lot of temp jobs, working for the government when she could. The only job i remember her specifically mentioning was with the election office in her state. This reassured me that it was ok to have a job that wasn't super prestiguous. All my life Ive put pressure on myself to get a traditionally prestigious job, even as I've come to realize it may not be the best for my mental health due to my disabilities. But she had a job that wasnt super prestigious, and she was still happy and able to afford the financial costs of living. I’m still working on accepting that I don’t need to get a stereotypical “good job” if that’s not what’s best for me, but seeing her live her life was what first made me seriously consider it as an option.

I feel like we probably wouldn’t have gotten along well enough to be super close friends, i.e. DMing each other regularly, just because we were in such vastly different stages of our lives that she would probably have a difficult time communicating across our different maturity levels and expriences. But I am so glad I often got to see and talk to her in the public channels of the discord server. If I hadn’t met her and leaned a bit about the path she took in life, I think the existential crisis I was having would have been much worse, and I would be even more unsure of where to go with my life than I am now. So I think some level of exposure to older adults is very important for older teens and people in their early 20s, although I think younger teens should be more careful and only interact with adults in public spaces.

i think some of you guys are insane 👍 it's actually possible for a 16 year old to be online friends with someone in their 20s. source: teenagers are actually people who can talk to other people about shared interests.

[suckitsurveys]

Name the last 6 people you texted:

1. Corrina 2. Mark 3. Randal 4. Sarah 5. Liz 6. Lolly

How did you meet #3? We went to high school together.

What’s #6’s middle name? I feel like she told me at one point but I cannot remember.

Who have you known the longest out of your 6? Corrina, since she’s my sister. Other than family, that would be Liz. I’ve known her since grade school.

Who have you known the least out of your 6? Lolly.

How do you know #5? We met when I was in 4th grade and she was in 3rd. We didn’t really become close friends til after grade school.

Where does #1 live? Chicago.

Is #4 your best friend? She is!

Who on your 6 doesn’t have a job? Mark currently.

Does #5 have their drivers license? Yes.

Would you ever live with #2? I already do.

Why did you text #4? I sent her a tik tok about bffs where one is a drink “sipper” and one is a drink ”chugger” because that’s us lol (I’m the chugger).

Do you miss #3? I mean, I just saw him the other day, and I can see him pretty much whenever, so I don’t really actively miss him at the moment if that makes sense lol.

Is #6 a stoner or alchie? Nope.

Have you ever danced with #2? Yes.

Have you ever done anything sexual with any of them? With Mark, my husband.

What would your life be like without #1? Oh man. VASTLY different in so many different ways.

Is #2 your best friend? Yes.

What do you love about #3? He’s really funny and our sense of humor is identical. He’s also REALLY picky about the people he chooses to surround himself with, so I am honored I still make the cut after all these years.

What is #5’s weakness? Kitties and her boyfriend.

What do you dislike about #3? Nothing really. Sometimes he can be a unresponsive but he has a weird work schedule, so I can’t really be mad at him.

What kind of car does #4 drive? It’s a Subaru but I can’t tell you the model. It’s stick, I know that much lol.

What would you do if #3 & #6 were dating? That wouldn’t happen.

Does #2 have a boyfriend/girlfriend? He has a wife. It me. I’m the wife.

Have you ever seen #1 cry? Yes.

Have you ever kept a secret from #5? Not really. I mean, there are things I haven’t told her, but I wouldn’t call them secrets.

Does #2 have any special talents? He’s really good at picking stuff up super quick.

In one word, describe #6. Hilarious.

Has anyone in your top 6 hurt you? Who? My sister.

Have you ever fought with #6? Nope.

Is #1 a musician? Nah.

How old is #4? 35.

Would you ever kiss #5 (if you haven’t already)? Nope.

[72000]

idk how to even look at my "profile" anymore

I lied when i said i would post more art here. I didnt really, and i havent, really. I still do prints, I still do music. I sometimes do videos. I post on instagram to the two people who love me and see them in person first. https://www.instagram.com/d722220

instead i will throw 200 words you.

I have decided to listen thru all of Prince's discography. I've fallen in love with every single one so far (For You, Prince, Dirty Mind, Controversy, 1999, Purple Rain, Around the World in a Day) EXCEPT for Parade. still revisiting but its not grabbing like the others did. I did not like Dirty Mind at first. I also didnt care for Around the World in a Day, but both i have come full circle on. Particularly ATWIAD. I am now in love with them and Do Me, Baby is a perfect song. It's funny to think (and read) that people weren't crazy at ATWIAD when it came out and last 3 songs are an incredible run (Pop Life, The Ladder, Temptation). It is also over started how Purple Rain is a 10/10 perfect album but let me be the 249,406 person to tell you that it's a perfect album. I was moved to tears on the first listen. Very few albums have done that (Kate Bush Hounds of Love being an example duh). Decided to take on this task on a whim and I'm so in love.

I had also decided to revisit and continue listening through Alan Vega's discography. Once again, 10 years ago when i first heard Just a Million Dreams i HATED IT. a lot. its so vastly different from anything Suicide related, and though you could say the same for the first few Vega solo albums, something about JAMD irked me. I even liked Saturn Drive more. I revisited it last week and only days later drove to the record shop to buy it, I NEEDED IT. it's really fucked up he could start as protopunk protoindustrial w Suicide then do rockabilly (S/T - collision Drive) dance pop and dance rock, then go totally avant garde(?) once you hit Deuce Avenue. it's still dance oriented but not in the same way Saturn Drive and JAMD are.

I cannot lie I love dance music. I also picked up Sheila E. " The Glamourous Life" and Nik Kershaw "Human Racing". I love dance music. The last haul was Toni Braxton first album (s/t ?) and The Time s/t.

Other than that I've slowly been working my way through Dean Blunt discography. (pattern?) I made it through Jill Scott Herring OST and Narcissist II but once I hit The Redeemer something in me knew I liked it but I couldnt articulate why. Still kinda can't tbh. after the 3rd listen it finally clicked and I "got it". The only thing I didn't care for up to this point is the last song Gass on Babyfather. I've only made it up to Walhalla. I'd always seen BLACK METAL be a topic of discussion any time his name is brought up but The Redeemer is the one I come back to the most. time will tell.

The funny thing is i live alone and have been for almost a year now and normally I would come home and throw 1000 words at my then roommate about what I'd been listening to and what I thought. Now that I can't do that maybe I'll bring it here. maybe I won't. maybe I'll delete this out of some sort of weird humility and temporary attempt at pretending to be elusive ?

I keep track of full albums I listen to on a monthly basis a la Topsters so maybe I'll start posting them here. Nobody will see this and I feel like posting them to twitter is a little to revealing. I've been kinda showing my ass lately.

how many words was that ?

9/25/23

[from-a-reckless-writer]

iv. couch.

read on ao3

To Lena: r u busy??? U didnt answer my calls. Dinner later?

To Lena: my place.

To Lena: Or yours! Can totally go to urs. If u want.

To Lena: Lena????

To Lena: where are u??

To Lena: Answer my calls

To Lena: Pls?

Kara rounds the corner of her hallway, keys bitten, dangling from her lips, as she types with both hands. Her 67th text message of the day to an MIA Lena Luthor sent. She fails to notice the creature lurking around the front of her door; dark fur shining under the cheap LED lights of Kara’s corridor.

She’s still deeply absorbed in her phone with worry, in the middle of jamming her keys in with one hand, when something furry brushes against her legs and Kara yelps.

She pulls the knob clean out of the wood in shock, her phone dropping to the floor loudly, the cat doing a duet with her with a startled yowl of her own.

Heart hammering and adrenaline racing, Kara looks down and sees the cat for the first time.

“Oh! Oh!” she gasps, “I didn’t see you there, buddy. I’m sorry for startling you!! I didn’t mean it.”

The door knob clatters loudly to the ground as it falls out of her grasp. And Kara sheepishly feels guilty for the hole in her door. But the cat meows loudly, catching her attention, as if in response to her apology.

She crouches down low, and reaches out a hand to touch the furball. She snaps a quick pic, sends it to Lena and pockets her phone.

To Lena: KITTY!!

“Oh, oh come here,” she coos, “where’s your collar? How’d you get here huh?”

The cat reminds her of Streaky. The first stray who ever took to her kindly. Although upon closer inspection, Kara realizes this one has striking emeralds for eyes, Streaky’s eyes were a more softer blue.

The cat surprisingly seems friendly, immediately leaning into Kara’s touch. Nosing at the inside of Kara’s wrist and it’s such a familiar gesture but she can’t seem to remember why.

And...oh, a small rumbling echoes through Kara’s palm!

Oh, they’re purring!

Kara doesn’t know how long she stays there crouched low exactly, but eventually, she stands up, takes her hand away, and picks up the damaged doorknob.

“Well, time for you to go home now, buddy,” she tells them, giving their head one last pat before dusting off her hands on her jacket.

“Go on, shooo. Shoo. Go home. I’m sure your human is looking for you.”

But the cat remains unmoving. It looks like they’ve decided to sit firmly in front of Kara’s doorstep, casually licking a paw, as if waiting for Kara to open her door.

“Are you actually waiting for me to open my door?” Kara makes a mental note to thank Rao that none of her neighbors can see her trying to hold a proper conversation with a cat.

“Look, kitty,” she says firmly, “I’m not your human.”

The cat just blinks owlishly at her. Eyes too green, too intelligent and-

Kara makes up her mind.

She turns her face skywards, takes a deep breath (This will probably backfire, she already knows. But she's always had a soft spot for strays.) and then she pushes her door wide open.

The cat races inside, cutting through Kara’s legs and almost tripping her.

“Well, somebody’s excited,” Kara mutters under her breath, she watches the cat head for her living room couch; watches as they pause all of a sudden, changes course and jumps onto Kara’s coffee table instead.

Where the cat then proceeds to knock down everything in close vicinity, even the picture frame of her and Lena together.

“Hey! No! Bad kitty-”

But the cat is already hopping down from her pedestal, landing on the frame directly.

And then things get weird.

The cat proceeds to stomp all over it, meows loud, like really loud; insanely loud for a cat their size.

Her paw seems to be almost pointing? At the other person in the frame.

“I-” Kara seems taken aback by the bizarre behavior, sure she knows cats are vastly different from dogs, but this…

This is just weird.

The cat’s meowing only seems to get louder.

How you land yourselves in these situations, Kara. I really just don’t know, at this point. She can almost hear Alex say.

“What are you- Are you- are you pointing? That’s- That’s Lena, yeah. That’s my best friend.”

At that, the cat seems to vibrate. They start clawing at Kara’s pant leg, meowing and meowing and meowing—

And then it hits her.

"-but it turns out that she’s a witch. And apparently, so am I."

The green, green eyes.

A pink nose nuzzling against her wrist.

“Lena?”

******

“Oh, Rao! Lena you’re a cat! What happened?! Oh, no, baby what did you do?”

Lena-

Lena The Cat—and okay, so she’s still wrapping her head around that one—just stays silent. She’s sitting on her lap, looking regal than any cat has any right to be. A judgmental look in her eyes.

Lena’s a cat. Cat’s can’t speak. Can’t answer Kara’s questions.

“Right. Sorry. Only meow,” Kara murmurs, embarrassed. For some reason even in cat form Lena manages to be intimidating.

“Okay so, uh d-does that mean you still understand me? Two meows for yes. One meow for no.”

Kara gets two meows.

“Okay, cool, cool. Great. You can still understand me, that's good.” Kara runs a hand down her spine, “Gosh, your fur is just so soft.”

She hears Lena give a small growl, body tensing, “Right. Right. Sorry. Not the time for pets.” Kara retracts her hand away.

“Uhm, so next question then, I guess? D-did you become a cat this morning? Were you testing out your uhm...gift?”

Lena meows twice. Kara nods, clenching and unclenching her fist underneath her chin. Fingers itching to run themselves through Lena’s soft fur again. Lena seems to sense this, and nuzzles her face into Kara’s hand, bumps against her repeatedly.

“Really?” Kara double-checks, giddy. If she were human Kara bets Lena would be rolling her eyes like she always does when Kara does something particularly dorky, but she just pushes her head firmer against Kara’s hand and meows twice.

“So uhm,” she starts, cautiously, noting Lena’s increasing purr, “is there like a spellbook for this or something? Something that can help you transform back?

Lena meows yes.

“Is it in The Tower or back at your place?”

There are no responses.

“Sorry, sorry lemme rephrase, is it in The Tower?”

She gets two consecutive meows.

Okay, to The Tower it is.

******

“Are you going to tell me why you’re cradling a cat in your cape or??” Alex raises a brow at her, a hand on her hip, left foot tapping impatiently. Her sister was heading out for the day, it looks like. It was just tough luck that Supergirl landed one minute before the elevator took Alex.

Crap. Now they have to explain. They didn’t talk about this. Lena still hasn’t told her if it was okay to tell people about her gift.

“I-I rescued it,” Kara says.

Well, that isn’t so far from the truth, right? She stares at the bundle in her arms, Lena the traitor staying silent all the while—green eyes shining all innocent at Kara.

Alex’s stares intensifies.

“From a tree,” Kara flounders, and Lena The Cat has the audacity to yawn, squirm and jump away from her arms. She lands gracefully, tail swishing up in the air and heads straight for the lab.

Alex eyes the cat suspiciously before turning back to Kara. She jabs a finger to her chest. “It better not have any fleas. It better not touch my training mat.”

“She won’t.”

Alex just shakes her head, rolls her eyes, grabs her helmet and walks to the elevator.

Before she goes though, Alex says, “You know, this is gonna sound weird, but I swear I think I saw that same cat slinking out of The Tower earlier this morning.”

“Alex, she’s literally a black cat. There are hundreds of black cats in the city.”

“You're being weirdly defensive about this. Why are you being weird?”

“I’m not.”

Alex seems like she wants to say more, but the elevator dings, and she’s never been more grateful that Kelly makes Alex pick her up from work. Alex huffs out breath, before conceding and disappearing into the lift.

******

The camera flash is what gets Kara busted.

But is it really her fault if she walked in on a cute kitty, hunched over, meowing adorably, trying to flip over the pages of a thick spellbook, with her teeny-tiny bean paws?

Lena hisses at her, teeth-bared and fur puffy.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. But you were just really, really, really cute okay?” She walks closer to the desk, carefully lifts a hand and scratches Lena behind the ear.

The hissing slowly devolves into purring, and Kara grins triumphantly. Lena lets herself be picked up after a few moments, Kara leafing through the pages for her.

“So, found anything yet?” She asks, cradling Lena close to her chest. A warm weight on Kara’s arms, and as much as she wants to get her real Lena back, she also isn’t too eager on giving up this version anytime soon. Then again, Kara thinks, it would be impossible for her to give up any version of Lena Luthor.

“Spell? Charm? Anything? Do you need to make a potion? Are we gonna get to make a potion? Oh, oh do you need a wand? Do you have a wa-”

Kara’s words get muffled as two black paws press against her lips. Lena’s green eyes narrowing at her. She meows at Kara. Loudly.

“Mkay, mkay. Shut up. Got it.”

Lena removes her paws, and Kara makes a gesture of zipping her lips together. This seems to appease Lena enough because the next second, a pink tongue darts out and she...licks Kara's nose.

“Did you- did you just lick me?” Kara gasps out.

Lena doesn’t even acknowledge her with a meow, just turns away and jumps out of her arms again. Before Kara can do anything about it though, her phone rings.

The screen lighting up with Andrea’s name.

“Danvers, I’ve got a story for you.”

******

“Alex, please, I’ll be quick. I promise. I’ll only be three hours at the most. Please just look after her,” she pleads, pouting and puppy eyes in full power.

It also helps that the cat burrito in her cape looks to be cooperating. Lena The Cat staring at Alex with wide round eyes.

Apparently, some governor was found dead downtown, and now Andrea wants her on the scene. She can’t just leave Lena all alone in The Tower. No matter how hard Lena’s been protesting, this is brand new territory for both of them. Nobody knows the extent of Lena’s powers.

Point is, Kara would feel a lot better if she were to leave Lena under the care of someone she trusts. Even if said someone, accuses Lena of being a stray with fleas. It's still better than leaving Lena all on her own.

“Ugh.” Alex groans and Kara knows she’s won. “If this cat causes trouble I will throw it out the window, Kara.”

“No!” Kara yells, distressed. “Don’t do that. She’ll behave. She promises.”

She puts her hand under Lena’s arms and raises her up to eye level—Simba style. “You promise to be good for Alex, don’t you?”

All she gets is a lot of squirming and screaming, there were also a lot of attempts at scratching Kara’s nose.

“See?” Kara says, chuckling nervously. “She’s telling you she’s good.”

Alex looks skeptical, her arms crossed against her chest.

Kara sets her down on the couch, and crouches down low.

She tries to pet her head, but Lena bites at her finger, she catches her teeth on the skin of her supersuit’s thumb slot. She bites deeper, her teeth accomplishing nothing but a few dents.

And oh, Rao she thinks she’s such a feral little cat but her pink adorable gummy snarl says otherwise.

“I’m sorry, I’ll be back. I promise,” she whispers, careful not to let Alex hear. “And then we’ll figure it out later, okay? The safest place for you right now is to be with Alex.”

She really doesn’t want to go, and based on Lena’s protests she doesn’t want Kara to go either. But well, Andrea had finally threatened to fire her if she disobeyed...which is...fair.

She’s aware she’s been doing a less than stellar job at being a journalist lately. Rao, what an understatement. This is basically her make it or break it.

“Look, I’ll be quick, promise. Be good to Alex,” Kara murmurs. She presses a kiss on Lena’s furry forehead. Lena finally unclenches her jaw and lets Kara go. The little whine she lets out, letting Kara know that she knows the battle’s lost.

“Both of you, be good,” Kara tells them sternly. “Alex, please don’t yeet my cat out of the window.”

Alex shrugs, staring at the cat with suspicion. “I make no promises.’

Lena is staring at Alex just as hostile. Great. They both deserve each other.

Kara sighs exasperatedly. Well, at least she tried.

******

She gets a very angry Alex Danvers on the line, right after she’s finished talking to some sources. It’s nighttime now, and when she checks her watch—yep, she’s left Lena in Alex’s care for more than six hours.

Crap.

“Hey, Al—”

“KARA IF YOU DON’T PICK UP THIS THIS THIS GODDAMNED HAIRBALL RIGHT NOW, YOU WILL NEVER SEE IT EVER AGAIN.”

There is loud meowing, and then, “What the- Get off! Get off me right no-”

The line clicks dead.

Kara Danvers quickly changes into an alley, manages to break the sound barrier.

******

It’s Kelly who opens the door.

“Hey, Kara,” she greets her. Kara is impatiently rocking on her heels, trying to peer past Kelly’s shoulders.

The place was quiet; ridiculously quiet, and Kara feels fear swoop in her belly.

“Please, tell me my cat is still alive,” Kara bursts out, Kelly just gives her a pained smile and oh, no, oh no.

She muscles her way past Kelly to a brooding Alex on the couch.

Lena is nowhere to be seen.

“Alex, Alex where’s my cat? Where is she? Where did you put her?”

Alex finally looks up at her, Kara taking notice of the red marks on her arm.

Oh no, Lena, what did you do?

“Calm down, I didn’t throw the little demon away. She’s-" Alex sing-songs before finishing, "on time-out.”

“Time-out?” Kara asks, voice shaking. Rao, does she really want to know.

Alex takes too long to answer, taking a swig of her beer first before pointing to a corner in the living room.

And there, she spots it.

It, being a small pile of laundry on the floor, next to an upside down hamper. A big white hamper housing one Lena Luthor. There's a crude cardboard sign stuck on it; "Kitty Jail". Alex has also stacked a few encyclopedia on top of it, no doubt an attempt to keep Lena from escaping.

“Oh! Oh, Lena!”

Kara superspeeds her way and scoops Lena up, the cat meowing immediately and curling into Kara’s chest.

“You named the cat after Lena?!”

Crap.

Kara turns around slowly, “Uhm yeah?”

Alex just shakes her head. “Unbelievable.”

“Her eyes reminded me of Lena, okay?!” Kara yells defensively, pressing tiny kisses onto Lena’s fur.

“I’m sorry that Alex has been such a meanie to you," she coos, "I know you didn’t deserve it, baby."

Alex seems to perk up at that, because she raises up from the couch. “That,” Alex jabs a finger in their direction, Kara cradles Lena protectively, “That baby ruined my couch and she so totally deserves all the mean! All the mean in the world, Kara!”

Lena hisses in her arms.

“No, no. That’s not true. Lena is baby and she’s perfect and you’re just a meanie.”

“She ruined my upholstery! She left hair all over the place and that’s not even to mention the scratching!”

“Because you were mean to her!”

Alex scoffs, eyes bulging wide in disbelief.

“Get out,” Alex says, her brows pinching comically, “Get out of my apartment before that little devil causes more damage.”

“Gladly,” Kara says, and Lena meows her assent. They make their way past Alex, Kara unaware that Lena has stuck out her little tongue at Alex over her shoulder.

“And she’s not a little devil!” Kara calls out.

Alex slams the door in her face.

******

That evening, Kara pores over a thick spellbook, eyes swimming with Latin symbols with a purring machine on her lap.

By midnight, Kara has managed to pass out on her couch, a black cat curled on her chest.

The spellbook lay open on her coffee table, forgotten.

******

The first sight that greets Kara when she wakes up are green eyes.

Green human eyes.

And then it hits her.

“Lena!”

The spell had blessedly wore off by morning, and Kara’s never been more glad to see the sunlight lighting up Lena’s face.

For a moment, Kara’s assaulted with the mental image of laying in a pool of sunlight with a black cat stretching leisurely next to her.

“Good morning,” Lena purrs, and oh Rao, that sound is much, much better than her meowing.

“You’re back!” Kara gasps in awe.

“I’m back,” she whispers, she’s still draped fully over Kara on the couch. A blanket covering them both.

“Rao, I missed you.” A palm comes up to cup her cheeks, Lena automatically nuzzling into the inside of her wrist.

“Mm, I missed me, too,” Lena tells her, face breaking into a small smile. Kara traces her fingers up and down Lena’s spine. Oh, how she’s missed touching Lena’s skin.

Wait-

Skin.

Is she-

“Lena,” Kara begins, swallowing. Her nerves not going unnoticed.

Lena raises a brow at her. “Kara?”

“Are you- uhm- ah. Are you naked right now?”

Lena’s eyes light up like a cat’s and Kara knows she’s in trouble.

“Mm. It seems that I am,” Lena says, and all Kara can do is gulp.

“What are you gonna do about it?”

special shoutout to @mike-wachowski, @sexybread-png and @thebreakfastgod for their cat expertise without whom this silly little fic would not be written.