#it just doesn't feel worth it these days

[designers-teaparty]

Less than 2 days left until the current fashion project expired and I still haven't bought it, call that ✨character growth✨

[harrowing-of-hell]

I think people genuinely over estimate how well Gideon understands Harrow as a person, and vice versa.

Like, that's the whole point!! That's the tragedy!!!! Despite having spent their whole lives around each other as the only two children of the Ninth, despite being literally the only other people in the world they could relate to up until Canaan House, they still don't get each other!!

That's why even after the pool scene and acknowledging how both she and the Ninth house treated Gideon like shit, Harrow asks Gideon to go back to the Ninth house, which is an incredibly cruel thing to do!

At the end of GTN, Gideon fully acknowledges that killing herself would be the cruelest thing she could do to Harrow. She still does it anyways, and then in HTN acts so surprised and upset that Harrow rejects her sacrifice!! Like babygirl!! what did you expect to happen!!!!

Despite everything they've been through they legitimately do not understand each other on a fundamental level, and that's why their whole situation is just so fucking sad.

[coquelicoq]

when you're the only person who keeps living through the time loop, the people around you cease to be people and become mere characters. your treatment of them doesn't matter because they're not real and they won't remember. the only way to give anything meaning is to end the loop; their actions don't affect the loop and therefore are meaningless. you're the only one who has the ability to change the future, so anything you do in service of that goal is justified.

but. kim dojka looks at yoo joonghyuk and says no, actually, these characters are people. whether they remember or not is beside the point because they are real right now. and you don't give your life meaning by achieving some accomplishment that retroactively makes everything that came before worth it - you give your life meaning in the living of it.

[ldpdluvr]

i lost my funny and silly bone guys, i just wanna post jokey posts but i'm honestly being affected really badly by all of the shit going on in this fandom, it's really hard for me to just "ignore" the racist and anti black fans bc it's like every other day i'm learning/seeing that fans are anti black and like i don't know how to actually exist in this fandom with all of this shit happening like i'm not joking when i say my interest has completely decreased bc of it and with the latest shit aka the fans thinking it's normal to go to a fucking plantation and take a white funko pop of a character who was a plantation owner and do a cute lil photoshoot, my interest is like almost at zero.....

part of me feels like i'm being dramatic but lol idk this whole thing cuts too close to the bone, like, my GREAT grandma was born on a plantation in the south this shit is too close to me and for these ppl it's all just joke idk guys tell me if im taking it too seriously

i only started interacting with the fandom like 2 months ago and i'm already so tired this isn't good st all, how is this fandom this terrible for black fans, why can't ppl just be normal :(

[lala-blahblah]

I will never make this because it would be for an audience of one (me) but ever since reading "If we Were Villains" (story about serious drama kids in college who perform shakespeare and deal with a murder) I have been entertaining the thought of a crack fic crossover with High School Musical The Musical The Series where the staff decides they will no longer put on shakespeare after the tragic accident that happened at Thanksgiving, because Shakespeare plays would only increase the tension and drama. So they hire Ms. Jen who decides their spring play will actually be High School Musical (which exists in the 90s in this universe) and it ruins the vibe so much that everyone gives up on being dark and mysterious because they're universally pissed at Ms Jen for making them learn choreoraphed basketball dancing.

[crested-waveskimmer]

Experimental drawing to test out the range this new art App I downloaded is. Decided to draw my singular Undertide, Quake! Used a bunch of texture and halftone brushes and I love the result.

[pocket-size-cthulhu]

One of the greatest most wonderful most worth it things about living life and getting older is when you notice your healing. Anything from "woah, I thought that scar would never disappear, but now you wouldn't notice it unless I pointed it out" to "wow, when was the last time I grieved that relationship? It hardly even hurts anymore" to "I can't remember the last time I was lonely like I used to be when I was a teenager" etc. Handling something that a few years ago would have been so much more difficult. Being amazed by how resilient you are after all. You'll heal. You'll heal. You'll heal. You have happiness to look forward to on the other side.

[death-rebirth-senshi]

Bloodborne's glorious "fuck you we're not telling you shit" Elden Ring's traitorous "fuck you we're not telling you shit"

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

Anyway I got notified that I'll be getting a nice $$ bonus from work today and I wish that I could celebrate with someone in a way that didn't just feel like obnoxious bragging. Like beyond the financial aspect, it's just nice to be recognized for good work and I actually feel... good?? about this job??

But it feels so silly to say I want to celebrate when I just got back from what felt like my first real vacation in a very long time and am doing cool comic con stuff this weekend and am scheduled for a new tattoo next weekend. I am already doing lots of things to try to make myself feel good! It feels selfish to want more!

But I guess even with all of that, there's just still a hunger for external validation from trusted sources. Will I ever grow out of wanting someone to be proud of me?

[skwivr]

-

[jinxofthedesert]

I recently got out of a toxic and unhealthy friendship on here. I had to be the one to end it; hopefully the other party decides to leave it be and not smear my name due to realizing it wasn't healthy and that I had to end it because of it.

Basically, if someone makes you start feeling like shit, from your life, to your goals, passion, and everything else, then it's not a rewarding friendship. And it's hard to sometimes see it in the moment. Because you want to think the best of peeps, especially ones you care about.

But sometimes the healthiest thing for You is to know when to put your foot down and end it, even if it hurts you and them. At the end of the day, you matter and what you're doing matters and no one has the right to make you feel shit for who you are when you're just living your life. Life is hard enough without adding peeps who make you feel that way or question how you live when, prior to them showing up, you were happy with all of it.

To anyone in a relationship or friendship like that, I hope, like me, you are able to take a stand and realize you deserve better.

I knew I was being manipulated but not how much until I talked to others close to me. I pray you all never have to experience such a thing because damn, you know you did the right thing, but feel so fucking guilty at the same time.

But your happiness matters. You matter. Please remember that.

[tanicus-caesareth]

guarana drama, damage control

[jayswing101]

The doctrine of discovery is one of the core concepts used to justify colonialism, especially of the settler variety. This is what the Canadian Museum of Human Rights says about it:

The Doctrine of Discovery is a legal and religious concept that has been used for centuries to justify Christian colonial conquest. It advanced the idea that European peoples, culture and religion were superior to all others.

The doctrine of discovery comes from a series of declarations from the pope in the 1400s that suggested christianity and christian cultures were superior to all other religions and cultures, and basically said that christian europeans had the right to invade and claim land and resources from non-christian people, and also had the right to subjugate and convert those populations. It's literally at the very core of colonial history and the myth of white supremacy and christian supremacy.

When the pope was visiting Indigenous communities in canada last summer, more than an apology for the catholic church's role in residential schools, what people were asking for was the overturning of the doctrine of discovery. An apology is meaningless as long as that doctrine stands.

Today, the vatican formally rejected the doctrine of discovery. It's a symbolic gesture, sure. But it's still a sign that things are changing. Space was held for Indigenous voices, and the vatican of all places listened to them.

Obviously, there's still work to be done, and colonization didn't just suddenly end because of this announcement, but this is still huge news, and it feels like we're a tiny step closer to Land Back.

[loumauve]

work colleague (the one who I'm working on a project with, who was supposed to be showing me the ropes - which she already barely did - who is supposed to be a superior while our boss is on parental leave) told me that I need to join the team leader meeting next week "so things dont escalate again" bc apparently her temper got the best of her (she told me this herself btw, which.. jfc)

and I feel SO uncomfortable at even the idea of that thats I've been feeling sick to my stomach over it since Friday. I'm still an intern ffs, I don't get paid to do her job, which is to explain what we're doing and to explain why we're doing it. I didn't decide on making this a whole thing, and I certainly didn't sign up to take her place while she throws me to the wolves (clinic admins who are pissed that change is being introduced to how they've been running things for years)

I know I need to address it, and at least tell my boss, I feel like shit reaching out to him while he's supposed to be on leave, but if I don't push back and give in now when there's also so many other ways she's been dodging her responsibilities then idk.

she barely communicates which is the basis for working with anybody, and even when *I* reach out she barely ever replies and leaves me hanging, unable to progress in certain tasks just bc I *literally* don't know shit yet bc I've been working there for a total of two and a half months max. just.. boss guy would be happy for me to stay on but honestly that lady has as bad a temper and worse social skills than the lady who made my last job hell enough that I was out of commission for almost three years, first on sick leave and then in various rehab/therapy programs just to make it back to being able to work again.. I really don't want to go down this road again

so I guess I do need to write this all down tomorrow in a message to him and hopefully he'll at least acknowledge that this is a shit situation to put me in and have a talk with her. but idk tbh. not sure what to do if he asks me to still join that group meeting on Friday, also terrified of her reaction if he does bring it up with her, ngl

last time she got "upset" she didn't talk to me for a whole day, didn't reply to my message before I left for 5 weeks and then still didn't leave a single message to explain where to continue in our project before being gone herself for another 2 and a half weeks.. that kind of childish pettiness idk. really don't want to have to keep dealing with her

lazy colleagues idk sure it's frustrating cleaning up after them, but this kind of behaviour is as close to intolerable as things get before I need to get myself the fuck away for good

[asinglesock]

I slept so much today AND we're falling back tomorrow so I get even more time to sleep AND I'm only working at caregiving job this month so my work is going to be contained to regular business hours <3 <3 <3

[eats-the-stars]

hate my sister's shitty good for nothing boyfriend. can you imagine being a 30yo man with two kids who won't even scramble an egg. Not for his kids, not for his girlfriend, not for himself. literally if my sister doesn't leave out pre-made meals when he's watching the kids he will rip up bread or pour them dry cereal or open a granola bar and make himself microwave dinners. like, lowest effort possible. but if i mention this to my sis, she'll be like "no he's definitely cooked for the kids! he scrambled an egg for them once! i watched him do it!" but it's like...so he scrambled one egg in the last five years. just to like, prove he can? at your direct insistence? should we all clap? like seriously. hate this guy. had to really hold back recently because he had someone over and he was interacting with the kids more than usual for appearances, and he had to keep asking me and my sis what the 5yo was signing because he barely bothered to learn his own son's primary form of communication. i was so tempted to say "that one means 'go home' but you wouldn't know that because you don't take them anywhere." so hard to hold that in. If I had to describe this man in two words they would be these: Low Effort. Not quite bare minimum, but JUST enough to convince my sister that it would be too much hassle to get rid of him. he's stupid as fuck, but just smart enough to quickly stop shit like screaming obscenities at the kids for doing normal kid things. and he once stomped on my headphones and broke them in a fit of rage, but gave my sister money to replace them so it was "fine." Like, my sister thinks that he's just struggling with his anger issues, because he had a bad childhood, blah, blah, and oh he would never actually hurt her or the kids. and like, good for you, but i don't trust like that. genuinely hoping he gets struck by lightning and dies instantly.