#it just diminishes the actual point of the thing and turns it into an easily digestable and mockable thing

[chewwytwee]

I love and hate being into classical music cuz on the one hand its cool and awesome and good and like the cornerstone of my life at this point, but on the other hand I literally can't get anyone to take it seriously because everyone just decided they don't like long form-based instrumental music, so I end up not having people I can really talk to about it because everyone just wants to poke fun at it when I bring it up

[biceratops7]

I’m gonna SCREAM-

We’ve already established as a fandom that Metatron could teach a masterclass on gas lighting, but I wanna talk about how he specifically validates the things Aziraphale cares for while simultaneously devaluing them under the surface.

First off, this moment?

Tells us everything we need to know. It sets the scene for exactly the games Metatron is playing. He makes Muriel feel important while openly insulting them (flat out calling them stupid), aka seamlessly reinforcing the idea that they’re less than to both them and anyone else in the room. He knows he can get away with this easily, he knows that Muriel, lonely, overlooked little Muriel, will be completely distracted by the fact that someone so important is taking an interest in them.

This is already horribly clever, but then later on you realize it’s doing even MORE heavy lifting when he appoints Muriel to run the bookshop. “See? What’s important to you is what’s important to me! I’ve graciously taken the time to ensure your beloved shop is looked after by Muriel. You know, the dim one!” …let’s suffice it to say he’s ensnared too birds with one net for this one, and that a pattern is already starting to arise.

So when Metatron says Gabriel came to Aziraphale because he’s a “natural leader” and “doesn’t just tell people what they wanna hear”? Yah he’s full of shit. Aziraphale struggles with his sense of purpose when he doesn’t have someone or something guiding him, and for thousands of years he’s been terrified of sharing his true feelings and opinions to 90% of people he’s known. Completely just trying to butter him up. Wanna know the real reason Gabriel seeks asylum with Aziraphale?

Exactly this. Gabriel just says so point blank. It’s not because Aziraphale is this person for him, it’s because despite knowing nothing, he has this instinct that Aziraphale is the only one who can possibly understand why Gabriel did what he did. He is, I mean as far as we know, the only other angel who has fallen in love. (In general, let alone with a demon.)

But nope, can’t have that. We can throw the promise of restoring Crowley in the mix to sweeten the pot, but we can’t acknowledge why he’d want that so badly in the first place. So now it’s cause they work so well together. We can praise the angel for the fallen archangel Gabriel himself coming to him protection and guidance, give him a gold star. But we couldn’t DARE imply that it was by virtue of Aziraphale’s courage to choose earthly love over heavenly. How Gabriel didn’t need a leader, but a friend who’s truly known the joys of adoring that “particular person” and the pain of needing to hide it.

Cause then Aziraphale would start getting crazy ideas, like that his silly little human feelings have a great deal of worth. That they have the power to inspire, form cracks in the institution, fundamentally weaken what has controlled and harmed him. We wouldn’t want him to know the true value of the cards he holds when he has the ace in a match against you, now would we? After all…

Metatron uses this ingeniously sinister tactic of taking away Aziraphale’s choice while giving the illusion that he’s actually opening up doors. Notice how he tells Aziraphale he would have the authority to do something as extraordinary as turn a demon into an angel, yet he never once puts the much simpler alternative of just working with a demon on the table? The sleight of hand here is that he’s being offered the opportunity to freely be with Crowley… but he’s already freely with him as is, no bargain to be made. In fact he fought to be. Metatron disappears this accomplishment right before our eyes, while seamlessly maintaining the illusion to Aziraphale that he (Zira) is in control.

He sets Aziraphale up for failure by only providing the option he knows Crowley will not only decline but be deeply hurt by. It’s all so cleverly planned. Once this plays out exactly how he wants, he delivers the finishing blow by diminishing Crowley and his “damned fool questions”. Suddenly doing a complete 180 and emphasizing how foolish and troublesome he is. Metatron was offering Crowley by Aziraphale’s side as The Carrot. Now he’s telling Aziraphale it was stupid of him to want The Carrot, un-heavenly.

Aziraphale’s life, love, happiness, it’s all not only a massive inconvenience for Metatron but a liability. He has successfully taken a weapon from Aziraphale’s hands he didn’t even know he had. Metatron sees the writing on the wall, and he wants it contained.

[alltheselights]

i still think about this blog post all the time

We don’t really know anything about One Direction. You can look at a hundred thousand pictures of someone and still not understand what it is like to be in the same room as them. You can be in the same room with them, watch them cavort onstage or even interact with them personally, and still know nothing about who they are. You can research meticulously, write a hundred thousand words about the heat rising off their skin and the quickenings of their heart, and still never touch the truth of what they are feeling, what they have felt. We cannot reach their truths if they choose not to tell them to us.

They’ve learned to be guarded, and thank goodness for that, since this world is so hungry for access to them. The demands of celebrity, the difficulty of navigating a public life as well as a private one — it’s enough to warrant another essay altogether. Suffice it to say that when myths are at play, insisting upon truth is dangerous. Believe in them, if you want; believe they’re yours, but don’t believe they’re yours alone, and don’t believe you hold their secrets.

See, at this point, the truth — the capital-T Truth of One Direction — is mostly meaningless. We actually do know One Direction — it’s just that we know them as characters, as archetypes, as the stuff of stories. Lazy journalists like to talk about how rock stars are worshipped like gods but it is true that One Direction form a kind of five-point pantheon, a collection of figures with their own known attributes and traits that come together to be all-powerful. We’d recognize their symbols anywhere, well enough to ace a pop quiz: To whom is the banana sacred? Who is known alternately as the possum and the lion? Which member would you call upon for the lifting of a heavy object? We know that Zayn is as both as beautiful as Aphrodite and as merry as Pan; we understand that Niall is the heart of the band the same way we know Yggdrasil lives at the center of the world. They become stories so easily, cast and recast again into new shapes, fitted against existing stories to gain new perspectives. Their smallest moves become metaphors. Their grandest gestures can be enough to anchor us to a new day.

We’ve already heard this week about how One Direction has a unique capacity to awaken anew a sense of wonder and joy in the universe, to ease pain and to diminish wrongs. When I say One Direction is a myth, what I mean is: One Direction, like any good myth, help us tell stories about ourselves to ourselves. One Direction help us unravel the great mystery and terror of being alive in the universe. One Direction help us make sense of the shapes of things, help us see what a person can be or could be or could embody: luck, strength, charm, joy, grace. We adorn our bodies in honor of them, we paste icons of them on our walls. We whisper and shout and sing their words, in the good times and in the bad ones. They are for us, and we can always rely on their magic. They’ll be gone someday, of course, but that doesn’t mean they will be really gone; Troy fell thousands of years ago and my high school mascot was still the Trojans. One Direction will part ways and pass from this earth, as everything eventually must, but who knows the last time a mother will turn to her daughter and whisper once more the ancient proverb: “They were just normal guys, but terrible, terrible dancers.”

[sugurugetofavoritemonkey]

nex

Summary : You were ordered to kill Rufus Shinra, alas things didn’t go as planned…It could be said that Rufus was the one who got to play with you the way he desired.

Pairing : Rufus Shinra x f! Reader

Word Count : 2.560 words

Warnings : Smut, p in v sex, talking about murder (there is none), RUFUS IS A TEASE 🫠, light choking (sexy), mention of blood (light I think), Dom!Rufus, but a soft one ? (He’s still a fucking tease and control freak but I love him), enemies to lovers kinda ? (But in a quick way), a bit of nipple play, this man embarrasses and praises you at the same time, marking, Rufus cums inside, he plays with your pussy (no fingering), cum licking. Sorry I don’t even know how to TW anymore (please tell me if I forgot anything, thank you🥺).

Author’s Note : This man has me in such a chokehold, it’s not even funny anymore. I don’t even know what this is, sorry if it’s bad, I just got extremely inspired by this man. 🤍 Please keep in mind that English isn’t my first language. Though please tell me if I made errors, that would be lovely. 💞

Divider’s Credits : @/strangergraphics

You were assigned to the murder of president Rufus Shinra. A simple task as they said, nothing you couldn’t handle. You laughed internally at the thought of it. Then how did you end up in this predicament ? Your form pressed up against the glass wall of Rufus’ office, your hands locked behind your back by the blonde man who pushes his body firmly against your back, as your dagger was laying on the ground near your right foot.

« Simple my ass », you muttered under your breath. Rufus was quicker and stronger than they told you, it was so easy for him to manhandle you into this position after you tried to slit his throat that Rufus almost thought that this was a joke as he chuckled against your ear, not in the least unsettled by your « attack ».

« Tsk-Tsk what do we have here hmm ? », Rufus pondered more to himself than to you, his foot pushing aside the blade on the floor, eyeing the weapon for a second before asking.

« Who sent you ? Was it Avalanche ? », his tone was calm and stoic. Another chuckle fell from his lips at your silence, he knew he would break you one way or another, he just had to wait and take his time, and Rufus was well provided with patience.

His hold on your wrists became tighter, not to the point of hurting, more to make you understand the position you were actually in. He had you trapped here, alone with him and you won’t escape this building as easily as you entered.

« Cat got your tongue, precious ? It would be a shame to force my hand and hurt such a pretty thing just to get the answers that I’ll obtain one way or another. »

The first answer that Rufus got wasn’t to his liking. You hit his nose with the back of your head harshly, laughing at the groan that escaped from his lips. You thought that would be enough to break free from his grasp but oh how you were wrong. With his free hand Rufus wiped the blood from his nose, creating a red streak on his cheek and on his black glove. Alas, the grin that Rufus wore didn't diminished in the slightest. He was even more eager to discipline you. His blood-coated fingers delicately went to run from your chin, on the column of your throat that gulped with anticipation and to the base of your neck, stopping there for a moment before tightening his hold on the tender skin of your throat, just enough to make goosebumps rise on your skin, a surprised gasp escaping your lips. His breath feels hot on your skin when his mouth comes closer to your ear, his smile evident.

« I’m going to enjoy breaking you, sweetheart. I don’t think you realize what situation you’re in. »

You smiled at the statement, turning your face back just enough to lock gaze with Rufus, the movement barely feasible with Rufus’ grip on your neck. « Care to enlighten me, dear president ? », you asked with apparent sarcasm.

His fingers tighten just a little more on your pretty little throat, just enough to cut some air out of your lungs for a moment.

« Wipe that smile off your face before I do it for you. », Rufus threatened in a composed manner, the frown on his face distracting you for a second, as if his blue eyes gazed directly at your soul, two unsettling gems that were watching your every move. You gulped at the feeling, sensing how small you actually were in front of him. Rufus’ smile widened when his hand that squeezed your windpipe felt you gulping. However, even though your smile faded, a defiant smirk still lingered on your pretty face that almost screamed challenge in its eyes. And Rufus couldn’t lie to himself, he was enjoying this, more than he could ever admit.

« You’re a defiant one, aren’t you love ? », Rufus whispered confidently, the hold on your throat easing just a bit. Your face turned back to the glass wall in front of you, but even though you tried to escape his piercing stare, the glass mirrored his reflection temptingly in front of you. You couldn’t escape him and Rufus hasn’t stopped toying with you. You didn’t know how you felt about this, your brain screamed at you that it was wrong, alas the other parts of yourself wanted to let themself be convinced by the blonde man. Still, you tried to resist, tried.

« Stop calling me that. », you tried to sound harsh, wanting to convince him - you, that you weren’t interested, that this man wasn’t interesting, that the warmth that was building in the pit of your stomach was just an illusion. But Rufus easily noticed the light break in your voice, the fragility in which he could penetrate. His hand that rested against your throat was now sliding teasingly towards your collarbones, smearing some of his blood there as well. His tone became softer, coated with honey, toying with your mind and self-restraints.

« You’re not used to being called sweet names ? To be touched like that ? Is that why you came here ? »

You spat back, « Of course not », but still you didn’t move, Rufus noticed. His fingers softly went down, sliding over your cleavage to rest on one of your breasts. His thumb curiously rubbed your hardened nipple, making you let out a strangled whine at the touch and making Rufus chuckle in your ear. At this point you weren’t even fighting back anymore, your hands in his hold grew limps behind your back. Your body unconsciously leaned towards his torso and he hasn’t barely done anything.

« You’re so sensitive, such a sweet angel, aren’t you ? »

The unexpected praise made you blush, making you hide your face away from his prying eyes, to no avail. Rufus took your chin in his free hand, leaving your breasts aching for his touch, and gently turned your face back towards his. His ice-blue gaze and cruel teasing smile made you feel even smaller now. And at this instant, Rufus really debated with himself if getting rid of you was a good idea, he much preferred to take your mouth in his.

The tantalizing idea wasn’t even rational to him, he wasn’t his usual self, you were a threat, he perfectly knew that eventuality. But the president of Shinra Company also found himself completely lost in the way you were unconsciously biting your lip and gazing down at his own mouth. Brushing the rational thoughts aside, Rufus closed the gap between the two of you, a kiss held with such possessive feelings that even himself felt surprised. Hesitantly you kissed back, even though Rufus kept leading the dance during the kiss, biting your lower lip to make you gasp so he could taste your mouth with his tongue. Your neck started aching with the position you were in, Rufus holding your jaw firmly from the back to keep kissing you. His kisses grew lighter as his breathing became heavier and Rufus broke the kiss to breathe against your mouth. As you turned back to face the glass wall in front of you, Rufus let go of your hands so you could brace yourself against the surface.

Rufus got closer to you, towering over you as he pressed himself against your back so tight that Rufus cornered you between him and the transparent wall, your hands on the wall being the only things creating a small gap for you to breathe. Rufus’ body was so close to yours that you could feel his evident boner that he made sure to teasingly rub against your ass while one of his hands gripped your side, firmly holding you in place the way he desired.

« You can be such an obedient angel when you want to. You just need a little…discipline. » Rufus’ free hand started caressing your body deliberately slowly as a way to show you just how much he held your pleasure in the palm of his hand. He possessively held your jaw from behind with the hand that was not tightening on your side, letting his hand slide down the column of your throat that he felt pulsating with need, letting it rest there just to make you guess if he would choke you like earlier or not. To your disliking he didn’t, toying with you as he preferred to let his hand reach your covered breasts once again. At first, Rufus just let his fingers trail over your erect nipples, passing over them without actually touching them or giving them the attention they craved so desperately. Rufus took great delight in hearing you whine his name out loud, a silent plea that made him feel prideful. Two of his fingers started to play with your nipples cruelly by rolling the buds of nerves between them, alternating with fully groping your chest, making you let out a moan of pleasure that you tried to hold back. The bastard perfectly knew what he was doing, Rufus knew how he was affecting you, a grin plastered on his face as he sensed your heavy breathing, the butterflies dancing in your stomach as his hand trailed down between your thighs that were rubbing against each other in anticipation. His face nuzzled in the crook of your neck, lapping the skin there as his mouth left a few bites here and there, leaving marks for all to see as his hair tickled your sensitive skin.

His black boots nudge your feet apart in order to part your thighs wider, letting him access below your skirt and to his surprise and contentment his fingers already find you oh so perfectly prepared for him. His hands slide between your pussy lips on top of your already drenched panties, the movement creating a lewd wet sound between his fingers as Rufus groans into your ear appreciatively before pressing a kiss under your earlobe.

« Shouldn’t you be ashamed ? Being this wet for the man you were ordered to kill and yet I’m the one that gets to play with you, isn’t this ironic ? », Rufus chuckles darkly.

At the humiliation you try to unwillingly close your thighs around his hand but Rufus is quicker and forces your legs open again, with a tone that requires only one answer from you.

« Do as I say. », and you do, you became so enthralled by the man, that it almost feels instinctive when you execute and open them even wider for him, causing Rufus to reward you with an open-mouth kiss on the cheek, his hand resuming the teasing movements as his fingers rub between your covered puffy wet lips, the lewd sound echoing even more in his office now as you crave for more.

« Good girl, you finally understood who’s in charge here, maybe we can get something out of you after all. »

Rufus gets off on your soft mewling cries as he continue to edge you a bit more, his fingers now drenched in your own arousal as he plays with your pussy in a way that pleases him, as Rufus try fingering you through your panties, letting you feel only the tip of his finger that can’t reach deeper due to the material blocking his movements.

« P-Please Rufus, you’re cruel… », he can hear you whine desperately, as a pleased chuckle escapes from his lips at your already messy state.

« Since you asked like a polite girl… », Rufus drags the sentence as he pulls your panties to your trembling ankles, the material sticking to your cunt in the process as Rufus admires the effect he has on you. His soiled fingerless-gloved hand reaches to your mouth, you understand the silent demand from him immediately as you open your mouth to clean his fingers, your tongue lapping at them as his fingers massage your tongue with your own wetness. When Rufus removes his fingers from your mouth he murmurs sweet nothings in your ear in an appreciative tone. When you think that you’ll finally feel his fingers where you need them the most, you’re surprised to sense him unbuckling his belt behind you, soon followed by his hard cock nudging at your wet entrance, his hand guiding his cock through your folds, coating himself with your arousal.

Your chest starts to heave more and more when you think that he’ll edge you once again and as you were about to whine out loud to make him move, Rufus thrusts the head of his dick inside you slowly but with enough force that it pushes you against the glass wall. When Rufus is finally sheathed to the hilt inside you, his office is silent except for the sound of your labored breaths, Rufus holds you possessively by your hips as his head rests on your shoulder for a moment. Rufus isn’t known for his reassuring presence, yet in this moment the many kisses that he places on any patch of skin that he can find are enough to appease your beating heart. Rufus towers over you from behind when he places a kiss on your temple, on your cheek and the side of your throat, ending with numerous open-mouth kisses where your neck meets your shoulder.

When he starts moving, his pace is slow and steady, increasing in speed as the vice grip your walls have on him, paired with your high moans, starts to make Rufus dizzy. He knew you were close, his cock could barely move the way he wanted with how tight you got, he just had to give you a little push. Rufus groaned as he nuzzled the side of your face, gazing at your blurry reflection on his transparent wall, smirking at you when he locked his eyes with yours and started whispering with a hint of truth in his last words.

« How do you feel knowing that the entire building just have to look up to see you being fucked stupid by their president ?What would people think, hmm love ? Wouldn’t they think that I own you ? They’ll be smart to think as such. »

With that, you came on Rufus’s cock with a moan of his name, as Rufus finished inside your pussy soon after, moaning in your ear as he painted your walls white, a bit of his seed already oozing out of you as it trickled down your thighs. Even after you came down from your orgasm, your body was still trembling slightly with everything that Rufus made you feel. You were thankful for his strong arms that held you against him, preventing you from falling down out of exhaustion. Your head rested against him as you closed your eyes for a moment, your mind dozing off as you felt Rufus’s face nuzzling into the crook of your neck, pressing a gentle kiss here. You could hear Rufus whispering something that you couldn’t quite grasp but you still discerned his soothing tone as he kept you tightly against him.

« I might keep you after all »

[ilynpilled]

its so funny how redditors refuse to admit that brienne could beat jaime when we see it happen 😆

i mean i am brienne’s strongest soldier when it comes to her fighting ability but i do not actually think she would have been able to beat him in normal circumstances either, if that is what you are saying. the fight happens with specific disadvantages:

brienne:

an arrow lodged in her back and in her leg that jaime notes she doesn’t seem to feel (likely bc of adrenaline)

the fact that she cannot kill him (which does end up working with her strategy because she has to be on the defensive anyway)

jaime:

weak and malnourished

has been rusting in tully jail for like a year with no practice

in heavy chains

has to use a twohanded grip despite the weight and reach of the sword

in the fight it is made clear that brienne is physically much stronger than jaime, and jaime notes that this doesn’t matter because he could easily defeat people who are stronger than him with skill and speed (he is more disoriented by the fact that she’s a woman who is stronger lol). the key thing is that jaime underestimated her skill and strength, while overestimating his current state, which culminates in him failing to finish her off before becoming too physically tired to continue dominating the fight. i think jaime is way better as a sword fighter at this point in the story because he is just way more experienced than her. brienne also admits this:

Brienne remembered her fight with Jaime Lannister in the woods. It had been all that she could do to keep his blade at bay. He was weak from his imprisonment, and chained at the wrists. No knight in the Seven Kingdoms could have stood against him at his full strength, with no chains to hamper him. Jaime had done many wicked things, but the man could fight!

i dont think brienne at 19 not being as good as one of the greatest swordsmen in the history of westeros still arguably in his prime is supposed to diminish her skills in any way. the fact that she managed to actually disarm him, and block/parry him long enough to be in a position to do it, even in these conditions, showcases just how good she is. esp bc george makes sure to emphasize how skilled and proficient jaime is as a fighter, and you can see that in this fight too despite his disadvantages (like turning him slipping on a rock or whatever into a diving lunge etc). the thing that made him lose was his arrogance, and the fact that brienne’s strategy took full advantage of that arrogance (being exclusively on the defensive and focusing on lasting while he loses stamina and then moving in on the attack once he tired himself out so she can disarm him - and she is skilled enough to pull all of this off), which also speaks to her intelligence when it comes to fighting and how she takes advantage of men underestimating her.

[arwen17]

I'm done with Marvel. You killed my favorite character and I have no reason to stay.

Posting here since I'm unable to discuss it on reddit. The sub apparently only allows you to praise the show. You're never allowed to complain about anything.

Here's the post I put on reddit that got removed by the mods with zero explanation (aka they don't want anyone to criticize the show in any way, shape, or form)

Part 1:

The ONE thing they MUST NOT do was kill Agatha. And what did they do? Kill her. Absolutely there is no way to make a ghost interesting. She's going to have a few cameos and quips here and there and that's it.

I'm also pissed about the Road being totally fake. It makes no sense Billy can call trials into being like that when he doesn't even know how Taro works that well or anything else. It was fine to think Billy and other coven members were influencing the Road, but to say Billy 100% created it is ridiculous. And they could have easily had the Road never being summoned by Agatha before WITHOUT the Road being fake. They literally took a badass character like Agatha from Wandavision (who had the Darkhold etc) and turned her into someone who just wandered thru the woods with no food or money and never actually did anything cool like survive the real Witch's Road. They totally diminished her and now she's even further diminshed because she's a talking hologram from now on!

I liked the trial where Agatha helps Billy remember how he saved Tommy. I liked Billy zapping Agatha to restore her power. I hated most of everything from the moment Agatha died.

I kept thinking "surely Billy will resurrect her somehow? They won't leave her a talking hologram will they?"

UGH!! Such a waste of a great actress who could have done more in the future!

Most of Episode 8 was great like the rest of the series. Episode 9 can go die in a trash can. The heartwarming scenes with Agatha and her son were nice, but the rest of Episode 9 was garbage.

Part 2:

You cannot make this character work as a hologram. Just not going to happen. That’s a cameo role.

I’m so pissed we got so little backstory on her and it was right at the very end. I’m so pissed she got so little screentime in her own show overall. 9 episodes is too short to do much of anything, especially if you’re going to try to use only 9 episodes to flush out so many characters. Nobody got much screentime or backstory because there were so few episodes, but it really hurt Agatha because she has the most backstory that should have been explored. Agatha is not a starving peasant in the woods who only feeds like a parasite. She’s a badass, clever witch who loves knowledge and loves the craft and wants to know everything she can about it and wants to live a full life. Living in the woods as a beggar is not a full life.

The Road should have been real (heavily influenced by Billy and the other witches in the coven) but still REAL. Agatha should have been a survivor of the Road in the past. It should have been how she got the Darkhold for example. And she still could have fake-summoned the Road the rest of the time in order to trick covens.

For the ending, Agatha should have remained alive. Either she goes on the journey with Billy (and thinks she’s going to sneakily drain a few witches along the way) OR Billy finds a way to chain her power so she can’t drain others without his permission. No hologram ghost!!

Agatha was a really cool character in Wandavision and for most of Agatha All Along. They totally diminished her into a forest beggar parasite in episode 9.

P.S. before the subreddit mods deleted my post, someone was able to comment that Agatha manages to get her body back in the comics. So there's a tiny grain of hope. But in the meantime, if they even use her at all, holograms SUCK! She might as well be a disembodied voice at this point.

View-bombing the show is frustrating. But the other side is manipulating too. They aren't allowing any posts that criticize the show at all. There's a giant hole in my heart right now where Agatha Harkness used to be, but I'm supposed to "praise" and "cheer" the direction the show as taken because that's the allowed narrative.

[sequinsmile-x]

The Final Say

Emily wants to put the Christmas tree up in mid-November. Aaron does not.

It's a good thing Emily is an expert at getting her husband to see her point of view.

-x-

Hi friends!

This fic came from a conversation I was having with @cloudlessly-light, who after seeing my Christmas tree in the background of a photo of my cat, told me off for having it up so early haha

Naturally my brain went to 'imagine Aaron and Emily having differing views on when the tree should go up'...and that then turned into a smut fic.

I'm sure I say this every time I write smut, but I truly think this is the filthiest thing I've written so far.

Let me know what you think <3

-x-

Words: 3.5k

Warnings: Smut, 18+ (oral sex, a smidge of dirty talk)

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Emily loved Christmas. 

She always had, ever since she was a kid. It was something that had always been the same wherever she was in the world, a piece of home that followed her and her mother no matter where they lived. She knew it was for show, she’d known that even when she was young. The tree and the decorations weren’t for her, but for the parties her mother would host, for the dignitaries that would always seem to be in their house, but that never diminished her enjoyment of it. The sparkly lights and brightly coloured ornaments never failing to warm her from the inside out. 

She’d always hoped that one day she’d decorate a tree with her own family. Pulling the same ornaments and decorations from a box they stored in the attic every year, not new ones in every city, and placing them on a tree they picked out together, not one that seemingly appeared one morning. 

She loved Christmas, and that meant she felt the pull to put the decorations up as soon as the days ticked over into mid-November. She wanted to sit on the couch curled up with her children and her husband and look at the tree. She wanted to bathe in the warm light the string lights emitted, a hot chocolate with whiskey in her palms. 

She was even more excited this year than usual. It was Issac’s first Christmas, and even though she knew the 3-month-old would have no clue what was going on, she couldn’t wait to include him in all of the traditions they’d come up with since she’d moved in with Aaron and Jack. 

The only issue is, that no matter how much she loved Christmas, Aaron did not. 

It’s not that he hated it, far from it. As it got closer to the actual date he got involved in the festivities. He’d walk alongside her at the Christmas markets, one hand in hers and the other in Jack’s, letting them drag him from stall to stall. The debate about the Christmas tree would always begin as soon as she started to think about it, making sure she dropped not-so-subtle hints that would make him raise an eyebrow at her. 

It was during their first Christmas together, their relationship only a few months old at the time, when she realised she could use his inability to say no to her when she was naked for her own gain. She’d seduced him easily by walking into his bedroom with nothing more than his favourite lingerie on, and once he’d fucked her into the mattress he’d agreed to her putting the tree up whenever she wanted to. 

It had become a tradition in itself. A game between the two of them that would always end with her winning, but it didn’t mean she couldn’t have some fun along the way. In fact, she’d just laid the evidence of last year's fun down for his afternoon nap in the nursery. 

Issac was asleep, Jack was at a friend's for a sleepover, and she had Aaron all to herself. 

She finds him in their bedroom, focused on putting away laundry, and she wraps her arms around him from behind. She kisses his shoulder through his shirt, and he stops what he’s doing to place his hands over hers on his stomach. 

“Did he go down okay?” 

She hums and nods, “He’s fast asleep,” she says, kissing his shoulder again before she encourages him to turn to face her, her hands on his hips, “Which means we have some time to ourselves,” she says, looking up at him through her lashes. 

“Oh really?” He asks, his hands skating over her waist before they land on her lower back, “What were you thinking?”

She pretends to think about it, her teeth sinking into her lower lip, “We could…put up the tree?” 

He groans, shaking his head at her as if he hadn’t known this was coming, “Em, it’s too early.” 

She pulls him towards the loveseat they keep in the corner of their bedroom and she pushes him down onto it before she sits on top of him, placing her knees on either side of his hips. She pouts as she settles into his lap, purposely making a point of grinding against him as she does. She bites her lip when she feels his hands tighten on her hips almost involuntarily. 

“But it’s Christmas,” she complains as she frowns at him.

“It’s mid-November,” he quips, raising his eyebrow at her. He knew how this would end, that he’d end up giving in like he did every year, but it didn’t mean he was going to give in easily. Especially when it usually ended well for him. 

“The boys will be excited,” she says, cupping the back of his neck, making him shiver as she runs her fingers across his skin, “They love Christmas.”

“Jack is 8, he knows when Christmas actually is, and Issac is 12 weeks old, he isn’t even aware it’s Christmas. Or that he has feet.” He replies, watching as she attempts to suppress a smile, “The only things he’s aware of are your breasts and when it’s the most inconvenient time to wake up from his nap.” 

She leans in to stamp her kiss against his, smirking when he chases her as she pulls back. She cups the back of his head. “Well,” she says, kissing him again, “Then we’d better hurry up and make sure we don’t give him a chance to interrupt us.” 

Aaron groans when she rolls her hips against his again, and he grasps her waist, his thumbs pressing into the bottom of her ribcage. 

“We’re not putting the tree up,” he says, the challenge weak even to his ears, and she leans in, her lips against his ear as she responds. 

“We’ll see about that.” 

She kisses him fiercely, her tongue sweeping through his mouth as she tightens her hold on his head, her nails scratching at his scalp. He groans and his hands slip to her hips, holding them tightly as he pulls her closer. He pushes his hips up into hers and she whimpers at the feeling of him half hard under her. She only pulls away when she needs to, sucking in a breath before she sinks her teeth into his lower lip, tugging at it before she lets it go. 

“Let me convince you,” she says, kissing him quickly before she shifts back in his lap, her fingers reaching for his shirt. She unbuttons his shirt, kissing and nipping at his skin as she reveals it, paying close attention to his scars like she always did. It was something they’d done for each other since the beginning, lips and fingers delicately pressed against the raised skin. Neither of them ever forgetting to worship the other where they’d been stitched back together, proof of what they’d survived to make it to each other. 

She gets out of his lap and kneels in front of the loveseat, her hands reaching for his belt buckle and she looks up at him as she undoes it and his pants. He lifts his hips just long enough for her to pull his pants and boxers. She kneels in between his legs and takes his cock in her hand and clenches her thighs together, desperate for some friction, at the punched out groan that escapes him the moment she touches his heated skin. 

“Fuck, Em,” he grunts, his eyes fixed on her as she leans forward, maintaining eye contact with him as she licks the tip of him, a smile flashing across her face as his hips twitch towards her face. 

“Impatient,” she teases, slowly pumping him up and down, her breath skipping over him, her smile turning into a smirk as he all but growls at her. 

“Sweetheart-”

He’s cut off as she takes him in her mouth, his words lost to a moan as he feels himself hit the back of her throat, the sound of her gagging sparking a fire in his gut. He pushes his fingers through her hair, tightening them in the strands as she bobs up and down, using her mouth and hands in tandem. 

“Fuck, baby,” he says, “You’re so fucking good at that.” He says, and the praise makes her stomach flip, forcing her to once again press her thighs together. She takes him as far down her throat as she can, only spurred on as she chokes around him and he thrusts up into her mouth. He feels a familiar tug in his gut, and he stops her, gently tugging at her hair, smiling as she lifts her head and looks at him with a dazed look in her eyes, a line of spit trailing from her lower lip to his tip. 

He cups her chin and encourages her upwards, steadying her on her feet as he pulls her in to kiss him, groaning as he tastes himself on her lips. When he breaks the kiss he smiles at her.

“Take your clothes off and get on the bed,” he says, his voice low and raspy. She follows his instructions without really thinking about it, shedding her clothes with little fanfare as she watches him finish the job she’d started by taking off his clothes. 

He’s on her the second she’s on the bed, pressing her into the mattress by laying on top of her, finding his place in the cradle of her hips. She groans as he kisses down her chest, his touch turning gentle as he skates over her breasts, well aware that was his youngest son’s domain for now. He licks along the length of the scar beneath her ribcage, mapping out each line of it from where he’d memorised it long ago. The topography of her body his favourite thing, each hill and valley of her skin somewhere he could happily get lost in. Since she’d had Issac he’d taken the opportunity to learn the ways her body had changed, every part of her infinitely more beautiful to him now she’d carried their son and kept him safe. 

She’s squirming beneath him by the time he reaches her thighs, his hands surprisingly gentle as he pushes them apart. He feels pride swell in his chest at how wet she is already, how she glistens in the light of their bedroom, and he breathes her in. 

“So wet for me already, sweetheart,” he says, nipping the top of her thigh with his teeth before soothing it with a kiss, smiling when she bucks her hips, “I’ve barely touched you,” he says, turning his head to her other thigh and giving it the same treatment, “You like being on your knees for me, don’t you?”

She whimpers at his words, her heels finding their place on his shoulders, digging in as a silent form of warning, “Please.” 

As much as he enjoyed teasing her, he knew their time was limited. The baby would be up soon and he didn’t want this to finish before it had really got started. 

Aaron leans in and licks through her, his groan at the taste of her matching the one that escapes her at the pleasure that rushes through her. He pushes two thick fingers inside of her, curling them upwards as he does so, smirking against her skin when she rolls her hips just as he hits the right spot. 

“Oh god yes,” she says, trying to keep quiet, “Please don’t stop.” 

She pushes herself up onto her elbows to look down, to see his face buried in her, the tension in his arm as he moves his fingers in and out of her. The burning in her belly starts to build, crackling through her nerves as it’s ready to ignite. He looks up at her, and as their eyes meet she falls over the edge, the intimacy of it giving her the final shove she needs. 

He’s on her in a second, his lips against hers as he captures the moan that escapes her, pushing his tongue into her mouth, sharing the taste of herself with her. It’s only when she comes down from her high that she realises her legs are still over his shoulder. He’s bent in her half, something that a few short months ago she would have thought was a move that was now beyond her, and his cock notches over her sensitive and swollen clit. 

“I didn’t know I could still bend that far,” she says breathlessly, smiling when he grins at her, his eyes blown black with desire, “Thought I’d lost that ability around the time my hips got wider.” 

“You’re fucking gorgeous,” he grunts, pushing forward so he enters her, both of them groaning at the familiar stretch, “You’re fucking perfect.” 

She clenches around him, the angle, the fact she’d barely come down from her last orgasm, making everything seem more sensitive, closer than it usually did. He stills his hips, clearly trying to give her a moment, but she doesn’t need or want it.

All she needs is him.

“Move,” she insists, purposely clenching around him, the breath knocked out of her as he does so involuntarily, “Please move.” 

He never could say no to her, not really, so he does as he’s asked, his rhythm unforgiving as he thrusts in and out of her. She grasps his back, her hips matching the rhythm he has set, one she was as familiar with as she was with every inch of his body. Even back when they did this for the first time there had been a sense of familiarity about it, something that felt like coming home. 

She eventually feels the spark in her belly again, and she can tell he’s close too, his hips slowly becoming more sporadic. 

“I’m going to come,” she says, clenching around him again, “I’m so fucking close.”

“Me too, baby,” he replies, burying his face in her shoulder, his hand drifting down to her clit to draw soft but concise circles over her, “Let me feel it.” 

She comes, her teeth sinking into his neck to stop herself from screaming, and it triggers his orgasm, the feel of him coming deep inside of her making her sigh. They lay there for a moment before he pushes himself up on his hands, his palms on either side of her head before he leans down to kiss her. He sits up just enough that her legs slip off his shoulders, slumping against the bed in a way that made her feel as light as a feather and as if she was made of lead at the same time. She pats his chest as he lays back down next to her, still desperately trying to suck air back into her lungs. He kisses her cheek and then turns her head just enough to kiss him. She smiles as she pulls back, her hand on his cheek.

“Okay,” he says one of his hands trailing down her side, smiling as she shivers, “We can put the tree up.” 

She chuckles as she kisses him softly, a gentle press of her lips against his, “I always win, why do you even fight it?”

He shrugs, “Why would I when we have so much fun along the way?” He says, and she shakes her head at him as he waggles his eyebrows at her, and she presses her thumb into his lower lip, feeling the familiar plushness. 

“You better not have gotten me pregnant this year,” she jokes, well aware it wasn’t a possibility, that she was on her birth control and they weren’t actively trying like they had been last year, “We barely sleep as it is.” 

Aaron laughs and shakes his head at her, “No one can ever know Issac is the product of last year's Christmas tree debate.” 

She smiles as he kisses her thumb, but her response is cut off by a cry from down the hall, “Speaking of Santa’s little helper,” she quips, “He’s done with his nap.” 

“I’ll get him,” Aaron says, stamping one last kiss to her lips before he stands up and walks over to his dresser to get a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt.

“Good,” she replies, resting on her elbows to look at him, throwing him a wink from where she was still lying on the bed, “Because my legs still aren’t working.”

___

They have the team over for Thanksgiving. 

Everyone took turns hosting, even though Dave did most of the cooking every year, and this time it was decided it made the most sense for everyone to come to their house since they had the youngest kid. 

Emily smiles as she glances over at Aaron, Issac in his arms and Jack excitedly talking to his father and Dave, before she walks over to join JJ, Derek and Spencer who are all standing around the tree. Derek smiles curiously at her as she stands next to him.

“How did you convince Hotch to put up the tree, Princess?” He asks, his eyebrows furrowing slightly as he looks back at it, “I thought he used to have a strict ‘not before December’ rule when it came to decorations.” 

JJ chuckles, cutting Emily off before she can reply, “You don’t want to know, Derek,” she says, taking a sip of her wine, “Penelope made the mistake of asking last year and she still hasn’t recovered,” she leans in closer as if they are conspiring, “Plus, Hotch has a hell of a hickey on his neck. Do the math yourself.” 

Emily feels her cheeks go red as everyone looks over at her husband, the bruise on his throat not quite covered by his shirt collar. 

“Oh, gross,” Derek says, and Emily rolls her eyes. 

“Oh come on, Aaron and I are married. We have a baby, it can’t be a surprise we have sex,” she shrugs, looking back over at her husband, smiling as he continues to talk to Dave whilst he bounces Issac in his arms, trying to soothe the slightly cranky baby, “Besides, I know how to get what I want. And what I want is the Christmas tree being put up on November 15th.” 

“So this happens…every year?” Spencer asks, the question escaping him before he really thinks it through, and she looks over at him, her eyebrow raised. 

“I’m sure I’ll regret asking this question,” she says, “But why do you want to know that?” 

“If you always put the tree up on November 15th that means you put it up 53 weeks ago,” Spencer says, and Emily’s eyes go wide as she realises what he’s figuring out, the maths pulling together in his head before she can stop him, “And you were pregnant for 39 weeks and 3 days, and Issac is about to turn 14 weeks old-”

“Okay,” she says, cutting him off with a glare and a raised hand, “That’s enough.” 

It’s too late, and she hears JJ laugh and Derek groan in disgust, “Oh God,” he says, scrunching his face up, “You’re telling me that Issac exists because you wanted the Christmas tree to go up in Nov-”

“Please don’t say anything to Aaron,” she says, almost begging. She knows JJ would never say anything, and that Spencer would be too afraid too, but Derek lived to wind her up, solidifying his place as the brother she never had or asked for, “He’ll never have sex with me again if he finds out you know.”

Derek raises an eyebrow at her, “Is that meant to deter me? If you never have sex again I never have to hear about it again.” 

“How about if you tell him I’ll kill you and no one will ever know it was me,” she says, narrowing her eyes at him, “We all know I’d get away with it.” 

Derek swallows thickly, clearly taking her seriously, and he nods, his silent agreement coming just in time as Aaron walks over and hands Issac to her. 

“Someone wants Mommy,” he says, looking back and forth between his wife and their friends as they all go deathly silent as he arrives. 

“Hi sweet boy,” Emily says, securing Issac to her chest and turning so he can see the tree, his face lighting up with a smile as he sees the lights. Aaron kisses her forehead and walks away as Dave calls for him, “You like the tree, huh?” She says to Issac, kissing the side of his head. 

“Just like his Mom,” Derek adds, hiding his smirk behind his glass as he takes a sip. She looks up at him, her glare firmly back in place.

“Derek I swear to God.” 

-x-

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[matthyeu]

you love mozart ― ktr.

pairing ⇢ kim taerae x gn!reader 

genre ⇢ angst, forbidden love, royal!au

warnings ⇢ slight violence, i find it kinda cliche but it’s cute

word count ⇢ 2.8k

synopsis ⇢ no one ever understood why a prince was so caught up in playing an instrument when there were people hired to play music, people like you. (part 2)

notes ⇢ this time on prince!zb1 who want to do everything but be a prince (ummm i just like royal aus ig??) + it is pertinent to my plans

a quick tune was all taerae needed before he started his mid-morning guitar session. it was really the only time he was allowed to practice his skills. early morning or late night would wake people, even when he tried not to. his father would always come into his room to lecture about the needs of other people before his outrageous need to play music. then during the day, he would be too busy doing other princely matters he didn’t even consider necessary. 

it was rare for him to let something distract him from his limited time to play; however, at the sound of another instrument’s melody, he couldn’t help but wonder who produced it. as far as he knew, the piano in the middle of the palace was for mere decoration, not use. there wasn’t even anyone who could play it!

but there you were, sitting at the piano bench and focusing on the sheet music in front of you. well, for the most of it. at some points you even closed your eyes, the movement of your fingers coming naturally to you as they produced music. 

“enjoy the music, son?”

he turned on his heel to meet his father’s gaze, the father who disapproved so greatly of his musical ambitions. 

“you’ve never cared for music, father. you always tell me i’m causing a ruckus when playing, so why hire someone to do the same. isn’t one of me already enough for you?” he pondered. 

“well, now that there is someone who can play–extremely well may i add–there should be no need for you to fiddle with your own instrument. leave it up to the professionals, the ones who actually spend their whole lives practicing to be able to play well. instead, do carry on with your own duties. more time means more things to be done.” 

as his father left, taerae could only look back at you, a slight jealousy growing in his eyes. how could someone be granted with a life where they were able to play music whenever they wanted? why was he granted a life of luxury and duties when he could have been like you? 

as much as he wanted to hate you for being able to live his dream, he couldn’t. how could he when you immediately stood up from the bench to bow upon opening your eyes and seeing him. he could tell you were kind, not someone he could hate for baseless reasons. 

“do you have a specific song you want to hear, your highness?” 

still, he could not face you so easily, for you still held a power he didn’t have, the only one he didn’t have. you held the power of freedom, the freedom to play music whenever you wanted to cheer people up, which was the only thing taerae ever wanted in his life. 

“no thank you. do carry on.” 

he walked away from you without another word. after all, if his father was using you as a means of diminishing his passion for music, it was in his best interest to not be discouraged by your musical ability. one day he would be like that too. 

it didn’t take very long for taerae to stop ignoring you. you sat at the piano day after day, playing music whenever anyone asked, whether it be the cleaners who wanted background music to work to or a visitor who wanted a warm welcome. it was hard to not become interested in the pianist who put everything into every note. 

that was why one week after your arrival, taerae couldn’t help but stand and watch you play as he was heading back to his room after a long day of meetings. he watched with a content smile on his face, taking in the music you played. you played more beautifully than any of the pianists he had seen in recitals. 

“your highness!” 

your exclamation forced his eyes open to see you standing in a stiff bow. a panic ensued in him, waving his hands around as if a sign to tell you it was alright. of course, you couldn’t see anything in your bowed state. 

“it’s far alright,” he attempted again with his voice, “it wasn’t my intent of scaring you. i was just enjoying the music. you can stand. no need to bow any longer.” 

upon command you shot back up, hands folded in front of you. you looked frightened, as if you were scared he would do something to you. taerae wouldn’t even think of doing anything. he admired having someone so similar to him in his home. 

“would you…like me to play something for you?” you hesitated, unable to look him in the eye. 

he tried giving you a reassuring smile that he was safe, but he didn’t know if that would reach your petrified state. “sure, that would be lovely.” 

immediately you went back to sitting on the piano bench, finger hovering over the keys to play. however, you didn’t begin playing right away. you seemed to be in deep thought about something, probably what you wanted to play for him. in the end, you couldn’t decide, and instead, asked a question to help. 

“do you prefer beethoven or mozart?” 

he chuckled at your nervous question, but answered quickly to ease those nerves. “i prefer beethoven.” 

you quickly flipped through your book of sheet music, trying to find the perfect piece to play to him. though, your frantic hands did make you drop several sheets, which made you even more panicked. 

taerae understood how you felt though. most people were nervous in the presence of royalty. he tried to make conversation, so you could feel a little more comfortable around him. after all, he wanted to know more about how your pursuit of your career came about. 

“how about you, whose pieces do you prefer?” he asked as you finally pulled the appropriate sheet music on the music rack. 

“me?” 

he nodded, “yes, who do you prefer out of beethoven and mozart?” 

you thought about it for a moment as you placed your hands on the appropriate keys to start the piece. “well, i prefer mozart. i think his pieces tend to be more fun than beethoven’s.” 

taerae’s smile widened seeing as you began to feel less tense around him, so he let you play. as you played, he recognized the melody more. you were playing one of his favorite pieces. 

“tempest,” he finally said once you paused your hands. 

you nodded. “i just thought you’d appreciate that one. a lot of people have asked me to play moonlight sonata, so i wanted to change it up a bit.” 

“sonata no. 17 is one of my favorites actually, especially the movement you played.” 

“really?” you asked, now turning to him, “do you enjoy classical music?” 

“very much,” he confirmed, “my father tries to get me out to recitals, hoping that listening to music would rid me of my need to play myself. it has only strengthened it.” 

“play? are you a pianist?” 

he shook his head. “no i could never play the piano. i like playing guitar when i find the time to.” 

“i’m sure you’re amazing for what time you have. i imagine it’s quite difficult to have time for yourself when you’re preparing to take over a whole kingdom. it sounds a bit tedious with all the meetings and whatever else princes usually do in their lives.” 

he rolled his eyes while leaning on the piano. “believe me, it’s a whole lot of gibberish and things i probably won’t even remember a week from now. it’s so boring to sit around while people discuss things i have no say in yet as i’m in no position of power. i wish i had more allotted time to practice, but i’m always doing these things. even now, it’s quite hard when i have to play to myself.” 

“then, would you perhaps want to play for me?” you offered, “no one would question any noise if it came from here. besides, i could be the audience you wanted.” 

it was an offer taerae thought he would never receive, so he went straight to his room to retrieve his instrument. perhaps, having you around wasn’t the worst after all. 

the next few weeks were filled with a lot of things, mainly you playing beethoven for taerae and taerae playing some of his own pieces to you. 

you two had bonded over many things. you both had told many stories, stories that would be far too long to tell only over the short amount of time he had between his work. instead, he often invited you over to his room past dark, when everyone was sleep and could not catch the pianist sneaking into the prince’s room. 

mid-talk, taerae winced at the way you played with his fingers, the calluses on his fingers stung in contact with your hands. you hesitantly pulled your hands away, but he nodded as an indication that it was alright for you to continue. 

“i just want to be able to play more. the calluses have been in development, but because my schedule is so irregular, it always seems to pain me more than needed.” 

“you just have to give it time,” you explained, “eventually the calluses will help you play more frequently.” 

“that’s just it! i don’t have the time even if they have developed. my father has so many other plans for me that i feel these calluses will just be a pain in my hands when i have to do something else. i can’t play the guitar when i have so many other things to do,” he complained. 

by then, you had already dropped taerae’s hands to pay more attention to him. you had to think long and hard about his predicament, but you eventually came up with an answer: “you should just tell your father you want to be a guitarist.” 

he looked at you and then leaned back, trying to find some sign of joking in your expression. why would you encourage him to defy his own father? why were you encouraging him to go against the king? he found no sign of that, just your stoic expression staring back at him. 

“you’re insane, how could i–” 

“taerae.” 

he looked at you, the seriousness not burning in your eyes. those eyes knew he was hesitating. 

“you want to be a guitarist. you don’t want to fill your day with whatever princely duties there are,” you laid out, “you shouldn’t have to give up on your dream because of a life planned before you even had a say in it.”

he sighed, taking your hand into his and barely feeling the tenderness of your fingers. there were so many things you didn’t know about his life, and he didn’t want you encouraging things that were impossible. 

“it’s impossible. i can’t–” 

oh you loved to cut him off. “nothing is impossible. dreams are for you to follow, not for them to stay as dreams. if you love to do something, you should do it, even if there is something holding you back. this is your life and, you get to live it for yourself. this isn’t a life someone else dictates for you. you are your own person. you can make your own decisions. you can follow your dream if you believe you can. i believe you can.” 

he wanted to believe you, but there were so many things that could go wrong. he leaned in further to keep the conversation close and quiet. such a risky topic made him fear more that someone may be eavesdropping on you two. 

“i’m terrified,” he admitted, “i’m terrified about what would happen if i go against my father. i’m terrified i’ll be left alone in this world if i try to follow my dreams of being a guitarist. i’m just terrified.” 

you held his shoulders, leaning in yourself to try to calm him down. 

“you will not be alone,” you guaranteed, “you will always have me. i am a musician, and i am happy with what i’m doing. i’m not living a luxurious life, but i’m happy. i don’t want you to be living a life where you’re not happy.” 

it was hard to understand the words you were saying. the close proximity made taerae’s main focus your face, especially your lips. 

when you found him not paying attention to you, you made eye contact with him, soon mimicking his actions when you realized what had him preoccupied. 

without much thought, you two closed the gap between you two, lips against each other for a brief moment. for a moment, taerae felt like his worries had all washed away, like he was finally free from his life. 

however, it did have to end eventually when you abruptly pulled away, clearly shocked at your own actions. you couldn’t believe what you had done. 

“i should go,” you stammered, getting up from his bed, “i hope you’ll listen to my suggestion. i just want you to be happy.”

SLAP! 

holding his hand to his cheek, taerae stared at the king. it was a cruel reminder that before this man was a father, one who should accept the decisions of his child, he was the king, one who only cared about raising the perfect future ruler. 

“you are a prince, not a guitarist. your main job is to learn about the ways this kingdom is handled because it will be yours someday. you have no time to play a role you don’t fit.” 

when he remembered your words, he was able to fight back. “the role i don’t fit is not the guitarist. it’s the prince.” 

the king scoffed. “you can’t deny what’s in your blood. it’s who you are, who you were born as. you were foolish to think you could. why even try?” 

he was silent, not knowing what else to say. he did, however, find some courage to speak up more when he realized his father understood more about his thoughts. 

“the pianist…”

“what?” 

“that pianist is the one who ruined you!” 

no, he couldn’t pull you into this mess. you only pushed him. this was the dream he had always had. you had nothing to do with it. 

“father, stop! this is my own doing. don’t pull other people into it!” 

that didn’t stop the king. taerae desperately followed behind the fuming man, pleading for him to not accuse you of something you didn’t do. he knew what the king was capable of, and he didn’t want you to face the consequences of his actions. 

still, he was useless, thrown away by his own father before watching you be tormented by someone much more powerful than you. 

you who were so adamant about him following his dreams. you who were so passionate about defending a love for music. you who were so brave in his eyes. they all crumbled down at the sight of the angry king. him being thrown by his own father only enforced the nauseating feeling in your chest. 

he wanted to speak, to yell so badly, but there was a knot in his throat. the only communication he had was in his eyes. i’m sorry.

even through the fear in your eyes, you managed to send one back. it’s okay. 

“you were supposed to put out the flame that was his desire to play music on that dreaded instrument. you only fed it more kindling.” 

“i don’t what you’re talking about your–” 

“don’t even try to lie to me. i have gotten reports of your exchanges after his works, how you talk for times when he passes about music. i’ve heard the way you’ve played for him and only gave him more reason to love music. and now, there’s no need for you anymore because you’ve proven to me that there will only be trouble so long as you are here.” 

the king looked back at his son, an evil look in his eyes forming. taerae knew what was going to happen. 

“away with you.” 

upon orders, several soldiers and guards came to your side. when you struggled, they only put more force on you, using your own body weight to destroy what you loved the most. every part of you would soon be gone from the palace, both yourself and the piano you gave life to. it was all his fault. 

when he tried to reach you, there were more people holding them back. he was powerless. finally, he found the courage to talk again, the knot in his throat untying itself. 

“i’ll find you somehow!” he called out, “i will! even if it does take a hundred years, maybe even more. just remember! you love mozart. i love beethoven.” 

taerae meant it figuratively when he said he would continue searching for you even past a hundred years. he didn’t know it would really be around two hundred until he could hear you play the piano again. 

[dearweirdme]

I wonder what is it that made Jkkrs so confident about their ship "in the big 2024" as this jkkr anon claims. Cause to be honest I expected them to already become extinct.

Could it be almost two years of barely communicating, not meeting, not being involved in each others lives?

Could it be a female celebrity very openly claiming Jmn and making posts that indicate she lives with him?

Could it be more than 2 years of Jungkook spending time with another man (with whom he is suspected to have a non platonic relationship for more than a decade), in each others houses, in multiple private solo trips and with his friends?

Could it be the numerous occasions of them three being in the same event and Jungkook still remaining by the other mans' side and basically ignoring jmn?

Could it be their awkward dynamic when they finally spent time together while filming official content? Them being easily annoyed by each other, being kinda aggressive with each other at some times, admitting they didn't bother to meet outside this filming?

Could it be the fact that they used a military enlisting system that allows only friends and relatives to enlist together? maybe that it was actually jungkooks second choice? oh! it must be the fact that Jungkook immediately after the training period chose a military job that allowed him to work and sleep separately from jmn?

Oh I forgot. Jungkook slapped Jmn's @ss after pretending to punch him twice in the face so MY GOD they must be fcking.

Hi anon! So... I've been debating answering your ask... because while I understand the message.. I don't agree with your observations.

I've seen a bit of discourse on Jk and Jm and them not being actually close. I personally don't agree with that line of thinking at all. There's years of evidence to point at them being close friends. I know part of the discourse has been that there's a lot of fakeness.. but personally I think a lot about the member's bonds is actually real. You just can't fake being close for as long as they have been BTS.

Jk never ignored Jm.. just because they don't interact on camera on a certain event doesn't mean it's ignoring. There's seven of them.. there's bound to be instances where a member doesn't speak with another member for a bit. There was no two year period of Jm and Jk barely communicating or meeting. That's just factually untrue and when you perpetuate things like that you only give ammonition to Jkkrs.. because they would be right and you would be wrong in this instance.

I didn't feel like Jm and Jk were overly awkward during ays. You have to allow for them being unwell being a factor in the NY episodes. You have to allow for weird editing and for the fact that this show has a different feel because we are used to seeing seven members together.

Jk chosing to be a cook was a decision that probably has nothing to do with Jm. If he wanted to not be with Jm he would not have enlisted with him. Jk just wants to be a cook.. and that is nothing surprising imo.. the man is a foody.

Sorry for being this way, but I dislike when things get turned into something they are not. We don't need to do this. We're good.

Jm and Jk are friends. The way they interact consistently show them being friends.. and on top of that it consitently shows us they are nothing more than friends. Tae and Jk are level up though. That is what is important and what our focus should be. We really do not have to diminish Jk and Jm's friendship in order for Tae and JK to come up as 'winners'. Jk and Tae have shown us a consistency in being in each other's lives.. they have proritized each other in ways other members have not. They show a consistency in closeness on so many levels.. even Jkkrs can see it.. they are uncomfortable because of it.

Excuse my rant.. I needed to get this out.

[pynkhues]

Thank you for answering my Magnus question. That does make sense that the show will go there and yeah, I'm curious how they handle it too. I'd forgotten that it all happens on a bed in the book--that the metaphor, if it's even a metaphor, is that clear, and it makes sense that the show wouldn't shy away from that (I don't know how far they'll go or what they'll show, but I do think they'll make it clear that there's a sexual element). I'd forgotten the extent of the parallels with Claudia too -- that is fascinating and so sad. I wonder too if, from Lestat's perspective, ANY of his reaction to Claudia in that area is going to look different -- like from his perspective, instead of being purely callous, is it going to be concern that comes out wrong, or an attempt to "toughen" her because he thinks it's necessary? I wonder.

(x)

You're welcome, anon! It's definitely a complicated thing to explore, and y'know, probably something for people to prepare for in whatever form the show chooses to depict it in. I can't imagine they'll be especially graphic, given they haven't been, but I also can't imagine it'll be something they can easily shy away from either given Lestat's actual turning takes place during what is largely alluded to as rape, and the dialogue of that scene is so important they had Lestat literally quoting it in Magnus' tower in 2.08.

I think a lot of how they do it too will depend on whether or not they're still leaning into the interview format with s3? I'm inclined to think they will be, given that's the name they chose and stuck with, but what that actually looks like is anyone's guess at this stage.

With Claudia and Lestat too - - yeah, it is sad. I don't know what the show is intending to do, of course, but their dynamic kind of reminds me of a few recent studies around the conecpt of a perfect victim, and how survivors of violence, including and especially rape, can sometimes (and sometimes often) not believe each other, or diminish what happened to each other. It's such a destructive act, and there's this sense of like - - it happened to me because of x, and how could it have happened to this other person when x wasn't a factor for them?

Claudia and Lestat's assaults are so different, yet have so much crossover too - they both happened after they left the quote-unquote "safety" of a family home, they both happened when they sought to explore and experience a larger world, but Lestat was stolen from a hotel room, and Claudia briefly trusted a man who would steal her, and I think there's that element there between them, particularly given their relationship as we know it in canon, where they point the finger at each other as imperfect victims. Lestat could - wrongly! and I'm sure patronisingly! - accuse her of naivety and stupidity because of course that is something that could happen to her and didn't he teach her better, maliigning her as his daughter, just as she could - wrongly! and I'm sure also patronisingly! - accuse him of lying (which she does say explicitly to Louis!) because she only knows a version of him that is an abusive and controlling father who she refuses to share a real experience with, and ergo refuses to see as a person in his own right.

Like! It's tragic! But I also think it's tragically real, and I think there's some really interesting themes to explore there, especially with Louis as a satellite to this particular sort of trauma because while he's a man with many wounds, this is something outside of his experience.

[buckysgrace]

Thirty One

“Kim,” Her mother’s voice and the sound of her pushing her door open drew Kim and Billy apart. He took the towel from her, pretending to hold it up against his nose as he winced from the contact. They sat far apart from each other, even though they hadn’t been doing anything wrong, “Oh, Billy. Let me see your nose.” Susan frowned as her gaze landed between the two of them, fixating on his bleeding nose. Billy looked at her awkwardly, like he wasn’t quite sure what to do.

“It’s alright,” He responded, pulling away from her like he was a scared animal and she was his prey. Her fingers lingered in the air for a second before she tried again, “Really, I’ve had worse.” He tried to convince her but she stood her ground as she approached him again, tilting his head back so she could look at his nose. Kim thought it was odd that she seemed to actually be concerned that Billy was hurt.

“Y’know, I used to work at the hospital. Like actually on the floor and doing the important stuff,” Her mom mumbled as she cupped his face in her hands and inspected his nose. Billy looked like he was close to pushing her away as he glanced towards Kim, his eyes alarmed like he was being pulled into a trap. She knew his dislike of being touched and couldn’t imagine how it felt at the moment with someone who ignored him most of the time, “It’s not broken, you’re lucky. Just keep the pressure there and -”

“I know what to do,” Billy had had enough as he pulled away from her, his eyes cutting into the older woman, “It’s not the first time it’s happened. I know how to handle it myself.” His voice was harsh and Susan got the point as she took a step back away from him. Kim watched, wondering why her mom cared so much now. 

“He should be lucky?” Kim found herself saying, looking at her mom in disbelief, “Neil just punched him in the face.” Kim was astounded that her mom would even suggest that he got off easily. Susan sighed deeply, looking as if she was about to argue when Billy answered.

“Don’t talk about him. He’s my dad, you don’t know him. Just drop it.” Kim turned to him stunned, feeling her cheeks redden and her anger fade. She felt like she had a reason to be upset but she quieted herself. She thought of all the times she had defended her father during his mess ups. She was sure Billy thought that Neil was all he had. There was still blood running from his nose but not as much as previous. She turned back to her mom.

“Things got out of hand. I know, I know,” Susan looked at Kim quickly before she could speak over her, “He’s sorry though. I just talked to him. Let’s just- start over. Everything that just happened was in the past. Billy, why don’t you go get cleaned up and Kim you can put your pretty flowers in a vase. Okay? Everyone just needs to breathe, everything is fine.” Susan forced a smile as she looked between the two teenagers. Kim could sense her resolve breaking and felt a pang of guilt towards her mother. She had fallen into bad relationship after bad relationship. She couldn’t afford to care for the two girls on her own anymore and now here she was, stuck in some strange town with a man who beat his son. She was trying to hold the image of them being perfect together but it was diminishing more and more. Kim wondered how her mother got to this point. What she was like when she was Kim’s age, what her dreams were. It made her sad to think that she could end up in the very same position one day.

“Sure,” Billy exhaled like he wasn’t bothered by it. Kim was sure that he wasn’t. He was so used to being treated a certain way, how could he understand that this wasn’t fair? She didn’t want to go and sit near Neil knowing that he would never apologize. She was too bitter for that. Anytime her father ever raised his voice at them he always apologized. He never made them feel less then, “I’ll be back.” He stood without looking at Kim but she couldn’t help her wandering eyes as he left. She looked back, surprised to see her moms stern face.

“What the hell was that?” Her voice was a lot angrier than she had ever heard it before. Susan had always been the one to have to get onto them, as their father refused, but she had never sounded so brash before. Kim blinked at her.

“What?” Kim asked honestly, not understanding why her mother was getting so angry with her. She didn’t know what she had done wrong.

“Why was he in here?” Susan looked over her shoulder to make sure the door was shut as she stared down at the younger redhead. Kim felt her eyebrows furrowing and a pit of worry growing inside of her stomach and spreading into her chest. 

“He needed help with his nosebleed,” Kim started to explain as she held up the pink first aid kit. Susan rolled her eyes and pinched her temple as she sighed frustrated. Kim frowned, shaking the box as she spoke up again, “I was thanking him too. He took the blame for something he didn’t even do. He got punched because of me, the least I could do was help.” She didn’t think she was in the wrong but her mom was treating her in that way.

“He’s trouble. You don’t understand half of what he’s done. Just please,” Her mom took Kim’s hands in hers and squeezed, “Don’t fall under his bad influence. I don’t want to see you going down the wrong path.” Kim was stunned as she stared up into mirroring hazel eyes.

“What are you talking about?” She assumed she was speaking of California but she never had the privilege of finding out the gritty details. She assumed moving this far away was just Neil’s way of isolating them, “You act like I’ve done something wrong. I was just helping him.” She stared up at her mother, remembering how often she would tell them all to stick together. She was confusing her so much.

“It’s not my place to say. I know you wouldn’t do anything bad with him, you’re so much smarter than that. I just don’t want you to get mixed up with him or his crowd. Especially if his friend is interested in you. I wouldn’t have brought you out there had I known.” Her mother was trying to explain everything at once and it was just leaving Kim even more conflicted. She didn’t understand how Billy still came out to be the bad guy after everything that had just happened. She felt like screaming that she was dumb enough to fall into Billy’s snare. She had done so much with him that she was sure she would give her mother nightmares. She inhaled deeply, holding the air in her lungs as she tried to sort her thoughts.

“I’ll be out for dinner in a minute.” She said finally as she pulled her hands away from her mother’s. Susan gave her a pitiful look and Kim really did feel guilty about how unfair her situation was. It wasn’t an excuse, however, her mom should’ve never married Neil. As soon as she knew who he was she should’ve been running in the opposite direction. Susan turned softly, giving her one last sad look over her shoulder before she was leaving her room. Kim felt herself collapse on her pillows, pulling the stuffed cow to her chest as she held it tightly and thought of Billy. She wondered how long he had begged for another adult to come into his life and pull him away from Neil. Everyone had failed him.

She lingered in the mirror as she tried to compose herself. She messed with her hair softly, before she wiped at her cheeks. She didn’t want Neil to have the satisfaction that he had upset her. She thought of Billy suddenly, thinking of how defensive he had grown over his father. She didn’t understand it. She walked out of her room quietly, heading back towards the kitchen. 

Billy was setting the table. He had changed his shirt into a blue button up and even though his nose was red and swollen, he was acting like everything was fine. He glanced up at her, but quickly looked away as he continued to make the table. Kim wished he would look at her for a little bit longer.

“There you are,” Susan smiled and placed a gentle kiss on her daughter’s cheek. Kim looked at her unsure, “Can you just pass out some water? I think water will be better than soda tonight.” Kim nodded and began to pull out cups to fill with ice and water. It felt weird, trying to pretend like everything was normal.

It was quiet as they prepared for dinner. She was actually surprised that the food actually smelled nice. She couldn’t tell if it was her doing or if her mom had followed the directions that closely. She began to put the cups down on the table, glancing up as Billy worked. He was trying hard not to look at her and she was wondering if she had overstepped his boundaries. 

“It looks good.” Neil’s gruff voice sent shivers up her back. She paused her movements, meeting his sharp eyes as she looked up. He was staring at her intensely, like he was waiting for her to do the wrong thing. She gulped hard as she looked back at the table and wished he would stop staring at her.

“Susan did really well this time,” It was weird having Billy be the one to keep the peace, “I mean she always does well. It just looks really good this time.” He added quickly. Kim watched as his eyes kept darting away from his father. It seemed like Neil was the only one he struggled to keep eye contact with. 

“She did,” Neil’s eyes kept lingering on Kim, even as she walked away and went to help her mom bring the salad and pasta over. She could feel her hands trembling, unsure of what she did wrong  as he continued to stare harshly at her, “It’s a shame Kim was too busy to help her.” Kim gulped hard when she was brought back into the conversation. She wasn’t sure what she should say or do. She looked to her mom for help.

“Oh, she helps enough,” Susan’s smile was stiff as she placed the hot pan of pasta down, “Okay, let’s get settled in.” She was doing her best to keep any meltdowns from happening as everyone slowly sat down. Kim was surprised that Billy sat next to her, expecting him to give her the cold shoulder. Maybe he was worried about Neil finding out.

“It’s really good, mom.” Max was the first one to speak after everyone quietly made their plates. Kim held onto her fork and stared at the small serving in front of her. She felt like she had a rock sitting in her stomach that was preventing her from taking a bite. She fiddled with her food, too worried that she would throw it up if she ate. She looked up, suddenly aware of the hot eyes on the side of her face.

Neil was glaring at her, his jaw clenched tightly as he watched her. She felt her hand trembling as she slowly placed a small bite in her mouth and chewed it slowly. It tasted like nothing to her. She wasn’t sure why the idea of her having a guy interested in her bothered him so much. He knew she would be eighteen soon. It wasn’t like he actually ever meant any of his complaints towards Billy and all of the girls he brought home. 

It was like someone had hit a light switch. One second Neil was fine and the next he was on his feet in a storm of rage as he gripped the table and flipped it completely over. Billy’s arm crossed in front of her waist, pushing her back far enough so the leg of the table didn’t smack her in the face. She was still stunned, turning to the older man as he began to scream in such a rage that his face was turning red. Remnants of glass and food scattered at their feet as Billy moved his hand away from her and she could feel him sensing the blow that was to come. 

The slap that Neil delivered echoed hard and loud in the room and bounced off of the bare walls. There was stunned silence for a moment as Susan turned her head, holding her red cheek in her hand as she looked up at her husband with tears in her eyes. All hell broke loose after that. Max must’ve been to her breaking point because she was up to her feet in a flash, her small fists banging into Neil’s chest. Kim didn’t even think as she took a hold of the small girl, pulling her back so quickly that they both fell onto the mess of ceramic and food. Kim winced at the stabbing feeling in her hand but ignored it as the smaller girl wiggled in her arms, screaming profanities at the older man.

“Calm down,” Billy reasoned to his father as he held Neil’s fist in his hand and his forearm pressed against his fathers chest to keep him from charging forward, “You don’t want this. “ He urged, trying to calm the older man. His tone was firm and stern. Kim could feel the panic growing inside of her as she rocked the younger girl and planned on the best way to whisk her away if Neil barreled past Bily. 

Kim could feel the ice in her veins as she watched Neil’s angry form turn to Billy. She thought about how he had threatened him earlier if Billy were to touch him again. He took both of his strong hands and wrapped them around his son's shoulders before shoving him back. There were no words and he didn’t look back as he stormed away, knocking over items and colliding his fists with whatever objects lay in his wake.

Max sniffled in Kim’s arms, shuffling her way out slowly as she crawled towards Susan, “Mom,” Her voice was broken and shaky as she spoke, “Mommy are you okay?” Susan nodded, taking in a shaky breath as the tears tumbled down her cheeks. Kim was forced to sit and watch, unable to move as she stared at the large red mark on her cheek. She wondered if this was the first time or if it had been happening before. Billy crouched down in front of Kim, looking at her unsure as he took her hand in his gently. She glanced at him, sensing a calmness flooding over him as he turned her palm up as the blood dripped through her fingers and onto the floor. She stared at the piece of blue ceramic that poked out of her skin.

“Are you okay?” He spoke in a hushed manner, his fingers wrapping around the piece as he gently nudged it out. She winced, looking at the large gash on her palm. She nodded quickly, trying to process what had just happened.

“I’m okay,” She tried to reassure him. He stood again, heading to the kitchen as he dampened a paper towel. Kim looked towards her mom who had Max wrapped up in her arms, pulling her close to her chest. She swallowed a lump in her chest, “Mom, are you okay?” She finally found the courage to speak to her. Susan turned her sad eyes towards her oldest daughter, her good cheek resting on top of Max’s fiery red hair. 

“I’m sorry,” Her mom breathed out through tears. They all winced at the same time, hearing loud wrecking noises coming from the master bedroom. There had been bad fights before, Kim could remember. Neil would punch walls and throw around objects. He would take his anger out on Billy, but she had never seen him ever hit or show any amount of hatred towards her mother before, “Oh my, it’s such a mess.” Kim wasn’t sure if she was talking about the literal mess or the scramble that was their family at the moment. 

Billy came back to her, gently dabbing the blood up around the gash on her palm. Kim looked away from it, trying not to feel sick as the stinging shot up her arm. She was still bleeding a lot and didn’t want to focus on that. Her mom left Max, bending on the floor as she began to swoop up the mess of ceramic and food.

“Susan,” Billy’s voice was so gentle and soft that it made the older woman freeze, “I’ll get it. Max, can you get some ice for her face? It’ll help keep any bruising or any swelling down.” Susan’s mouth opened and then closed again as she stared at the boy. Billy completely ignored looking at her, instead he focused on cleaning Kim’s hand. Max crossed the mess gently and Kim could see her cheeks were red from crying.

“It’s okay,” Kim watched him, thinking about how only an hour ago she was dabbing the blood from his nose, “That’s a lot of blood.” She said suddenly, feeling a bit sick as she stared at her hand. Billy looked up at her, his blue eyes locking in on her panicked expression. There was a reason she never considered working in the medical field. 

“It’s going to be fine, you won’t need any stitches,” Billy smiled up at her, relaxing her nerves as Max crossed back through the kitchen and handed her mother a baggy full of ice, “It should stop bleeding soon.” He mumbled as he turned her hand over, inspecting the other side as he held the towel towards her gash. She felt a million different thoughts racing in her brain as she was fairly convinced it was too late and she would be losing her hand entirely. Billy seemed to notice as he ran his fingernails over her skin softly to relax her. She wondered if he wanted to hold her hand as badly as she wanted to hold his. 

“I think we should go to a motel tonight,” Susan spoke up. Kim turned to face her mother, watching as she held the ice against her cheek and rocked Max at the same time. She was surprised she was suggesting to get away from Neil at all. She wondered if this was finally the turning point for her mom, “Just until he cools down.” Max was sniffling against her chest and Kim nodded, not sure what else she could say to the conversation. 

Billy didn’t look up as he spoke, “I can get your clothes from Neil’s room,” He continued to clean Kim’s hand gently and she was sure she had never felt him touch her so soft before, “I’ll give him a few minutes to cool down.” Billy placed a bandaid over her hand before beginning to wrap it in gauge. She wondered if he had ever considered being a doctor with the way he handled blood so easily. She was sure, like earlier, this was nothing new to him.

“Thank you,” Her moms voice was ragged as she spoke up again, watching the two teens intensely. Kim was too occupied with Billy’s hand movements to notice, “Girls, you should go pack a bag. Just for the night, we’ll come back in the morning.”

“Come with me,” Max pleaded as she held onto her mom’s shirt. Kim felt a pang of guilt as she watched the two interact. She didn’t think it was fair for Max to have experienced so much and to be so young, “Please.” Susan turned to Kim, watching her with a peculiar look for a moment before she nodded and went with Max. 

“Will I lose my hand, doctor?” Kim felt herself trying to lighten the mood as Billy finished wrapping her hand. It was secured nicely but it still throbbed and she did partially wonder if she was still going to die from an infection. He snorted, then glanced over his shoulder before helping her stand.

“Are you okay?” He asked, looking at her worried. She nodded her head quickly, trying not to linger in his concerned eyes. She didn’t want him to worry about her. He seemed to accept her nod as an answer, “Go get your back real quick while I pack one for your mom.” Kim hesitated as she watched him.

“What if he hurts you?” She sounded like a scared child as she watched him. She knew Neil was able to do far worse than a bloody nose. Billy looked away from her.

“He won’t, not this time. Just please, go pack your bag.” He didn’t let her argue anymore as he stepped away from her. She felt a stinging in her heart that she tried to ignore as she walked towards her room. She didn’t know what she would do if Billy got hurt again. She didn’t want to see him all bruised and bloody anymore.

She grabbed a duffel bag from her closet and tossed her pajamas inside and an extra pair of clothes. She threw in a bottle of lotion, her makeup remover and some deodorant. She raced back to the bathroom and grabbed her toothbrush and toothpaste then grabbed a box of pads to be safe. She lingered by the bathroom door, hoping to see Billy but he hadn’t come out from Neil’s room yet. It was too quiet. 

She tried not to think about it as she finished packing her bag. Her fingers lingered for a minute when she looked at the stuffed cow laying neatly on her pillows. She bit her lip hard before shoving it deep in her bag. Just in case.

“Are you almost ready?” Her mom peeked inside her room just as Kim finished zipping the bag up. She nodded, placing it over her shoulder and wincing as she gripped the strap too hard. She followed the other girls towards the door and waited for Billy to appear again. He must’ve given her mom her bag when she was busy.

“Can we go?” Max sounded a bit scared as her eyes lingered on the master bedroom door. Kim shifted on her feet, feeling a bit better when Billy appeared from his room unscathed. She searched his face, making sure there were no marks or bruises that she missed. Susan nodded.

“Let’s go,” She guided Max towards the door, opening it and letting the younger girl go first, “Kim, come on.” Her mother urged as she glanced away from her. Kim nodded, looking at Billy’s empty hands. 

“Where’s your bag?” Kim asked as her mother and Max headed out the door. Billy shuffled on his feet, his hands dried with blood as he peered up at her with electric eyes. He waited until the other two girls were out of earshot before he spoke up. 

“I don’t think I was invited.” He said slowly, pretending to check the bandage on her hand. She looked at him surprised. Regardless if her mom had meant for him to come or not, he was coming.

“You were, this is me inviting you right now. Go get your bag,” She told him, more forceful than she had ever spoken towards him before. He exhaled softly as he looked at her, she could feel the burning rising in her chest, “Billy, go get your bag.” She told him harshly, feeling her voice burning from the tears that were forming. He took another step forward.

“He’s my dad. I can’t just leave him like you guys can.” He was speaking softly, like he was trying to reason with her. She stared up at him, horrified by what he was saying.

“Yes you can, he punched you. You can come with us. With me,” She searched his expression for any change of his features, any hint that he had reconsidered, “Please.” She felt as if her throat was on fire from how badly she wanted to cry. It wasn’t fair that he felt like he had to stay here with Neil and pick up the mess his father had made. It wasn’t fair that his mom had made him feel unwelcome. Nothing about this was fair.

He cupped her face gently, wiping away the tears that had betrayed her as his thumbs massaged her soft skin. She stared up at him hopeful, wishing he knew just how much he meant to her. She was terrified to leave him alone, terrified that something else would happen to him.

He didn’t say anything as he bent forward and caressed his lips with hers, barely touching her at all. Her cheeks were wet as she pushed up against him, her arms snaking around his shoulders as she pushed her lips on his and held onto him tightly. She inhaled him like he was the only air she would need as she pushed all of her thoughts and feelings into her kiss. For once, she didn’t care if anyone was to see them. She didn’t want to leave him behind. She wanted to stay with him. She was desperate as she pulled him towards her as he melted against her lips, holding her gently like she might break.

He pulled away, his forehead resting against hers as he stared down at her plump lips, “You need to go.” He mumbled softly, his hands pushing through her red hair. She thought about crying even more, wondering if that would convince him to go with her.

“Not without you,” She pleaded, staring up at him. He traced his thumb over her skin gently, wiping away her tears with his rough hands. She was determined that they stick together, “I’ll stay with you.” She added hastily. He sighed and shook his head.

“I need to be with my dad in the same way you need to be with your mom and sister right now. You know the number, you can call and I swear I’ll answer. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?” She felt defeated as her breath became shaky and her lips curled into a frown as the bubble of tears rushed inside of her chest, “Please don’t cry. I’ll be fine. I’ll see you first thing in the morning, okay?” He looked desperate to make her see his side but she just couldn’t understand his reasoning. After all Neil had done and Billy was still willing to stay and make things right with his dad. She nodded sadly, placing her hands on top of his as he held her face gently.

“Promise me you’ll be okay?” She asked him, not caring about what her mother thought about the moment. Susan could think that he was a bad influence as much as she wanted, only Kim knew the truth. She’d defend him for as long as he needed someone to defend him. He hesitated as he watched her before he slowly nodded.

“I’m a lot tougher than I look,” He tried to crack a smile but was unable to. She wondered if he was just as scared as she was, “Go, before your mom comes looking for you. Please.” She nodded stiffly, too afraid to answer in case she cried again. Her hand was throbbing from how tightly she was holding onto him. She didn’t want to lose him but she knew there was no point in fighting. He had already made up his mind and was forcing her to accept it. 

She pushed against him again, placing a long soft kiss against his lips as she felt her words failing her. She didn’t know why she was acting like it was the end of the world. A few months ago she would’ve felt bad, but she would’ve moved on. She wasn’t sure why she was letting this bother her so much. He pulled away first again, a small smile painted on his lips and she knew her time had run out. She nodded, picking up her duffel bag again as she looked back at him.

“I’ll see you in the  morning.” She whispered out hoarsely. He nodded, sticking his hands in his pockets as he watched her. She wondered what he thought of her right now. If he thought she was attached before she was certain he was thinking that now. She turned quickly and headed out the back door before her mom came up to fetch her. She made haste down the steps, her hand stinging as she held onto the strap of her duffel bag over her shoulder. She stepped forward, looking at how Susan was pleading with a crying Max. Kim opened the door and was surrounded by her sobs.

“We can’t leave him. We can’t!” Max bawled like she was a small toddler again. Kim quickly turned to face her, understanding why she was so upset.

“He said he can’t go anyways,” She tried to reassure her younger sister as she faced her. Max’s eyes were so red and puffy she was surprised they weren’t drying out from the cold air blowing on her face. Susan sighed from the front seat and Kim ignored her, “He said he has to stay. I tried to get him to come, okay?” Max collapsed on her lap in a mess of tears and snot as Kim gently caressed her red hair back. Susan began to drive away from their house. Kim never thought she would miss it as she did right now. She wanted to cry like Max was but she feared what her mother would say.

“Everything is going to be okay,” Susan spoke up after a few minutes of driving in tense silence, the only sound filling the car was Max’s ragged sobs, “We’ve been through worse. We have each other and that’s all that matters.” Kim wanted to add that Billy had been through a lot worse as well she had left him behind. She didn’t care what he had done in California to make her mother so fearful of him. He was still a kid, he still needed someone to look after her. 

Kim didn’t say anything as she looked out the window and played with Max’s tangly hair. They had been in a lot worse before, like when they had lost the house and Susan’s drinking problem took a turn for the worse. That was right before she had met Neil, they spent nights alternating between sleeping on the couches of her coworkers and in her car. Neil was supposed to change everything. Perhaps, he had. Kim was unsure if it was for the better, however. 

She wondered what worse things Billy had faced, other than his dads beatings. Neil was well off, there was no denying that. She only wondered if he was similar to her. That he would prefer living in unknown places rather than be forced to be near his dad. 

She thought of how they would play this off to the neighbors. Everyone liked to snoop in a small town like this. She was sure someone had seen them leaving or heard something. Her mother had always been good about dismissing drama. She could easily brush the situation under the rug, Kim was sure of it. She wanted so desperately for her mother to stay away from Neil, but at the same time she didn’t want her to. Kim was well aware that Neil would take all of his anger out on Billy. She didn’t want that to happen, she didn’t want to be separated from him.

“Okay,” Kim looked up as her mom pulled into a motel. It didn’t look as nice as the one Billy had taken her to but she figured it would be more expensive for her mom anyways. Max sat up slowly, rubbing her eyes. Kim felt so bad for her younger sister. She wished she didn’t have to experience any of this. She deserved to have an easy life, “It’ll work, won’t it?” Kim stared at the red mark on her moms face as she turned to look at them. Both of her daughters nodded stiffly. It was better than dealing with Neil all night longer.

Kim’s thoughts turned sad again as she thought about Billy and how he was stuck at the house with his dad. She thought about calling him as soon as they got inside but was worried her mom might mention something. She was afraid of creating a bigger mess as their family seemed to be falling apart around them.

“I’ll go get us a room, really quick.” Susan locked the car doors behind them as they made their way inside. Kim felt herself wincing as her hand continued to sting. She didn’t think to pack any medicine with her, she was hoping she’d be able to sleep the throbbing pain away. She glanced around the empty motel room, glancing over to watch her mom talk to the lady at the front desk. She was sure they all looked a mess. Her mother seemed to be thinking the same thing as she kept messing with her hair.

“Do you think he’ll be okay?” Max asked suddenly. Kim gulped all of her fears down as she stared at the younger girl. Max had such a hopeful look in her eyes that Kim couldn’t find it in herself to break. She knew that Billy wouldn’t want her to do that either. He was more than adamant that he would be fine.

“Yes,” She breathed her lie out hard, “He’ll take care of himself. We’ll see him again in the morning.” Kim fought everything in her to give her little sister a smile. She wished she was able to convince herself of the same lie. Max nodded slowly, seemingly believing her.

“Is your hand okay?” Kim looked down at where it was bandaged and nodded. It hurt a lot but she wasn’t going to say anything. Not even to her mother. She didn’t want any of them to be worrying about her at the moment when there was so much else going on.

“Yeah, maybe I’ll have a cool scar afterwards.” Kim grinned, trying to get the younger girl to smile but failing. Max looked like she was deep in thought as she glanced towards their mother who was busy counting out the cash for how much it would cost to stay the night.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have gotten so mad.” Max’s voice was timid and full of sorrow. Kim frowned, not liking how she was blaming herself. She couldn’t control what Neil did.

“Don’t be sorry. You were brave, there’s no shame in that. He shouldn’t have done any of that. He shouldn’t be hitting anyone.” Kim told her, almost sternly as Max looked up at her again. Their conversation went quiet as their mother finally joined them.

“Ready?” Susan looked stressed as she began to walk forward, reaching a hand out to hold onto Max’s small hand. Kim followed shortly behind, watching the wallpaper disappear into different colors until they finally reached their room. Her body felt so tired and exhausted but her mind was awake and alert. Susan unlocked the door, pushing it open.

“Well, it’ll be like a big girl slumber party,” Her mother tried to make light of the situation as they stumbled into the room. It was in worse condition than the one Billy had taken her to. The blue walls had almost faded to white and it smelt similar to the way her grandmother's house did when she would watch them when they were young. The lamp in the corner of the room kept flickering as it exposed the one King sized bed. Kim knew it would be plenty for the three of them. She tried not to think about how it would’ve fit four of them perfectly, “I’m going to wash up.” Her mom set her bag on the end of the bed before quickly walking towards the bathroom. Max looked to her older sister with a heartbroken expression.

“Are you okay?” Kim finally asked her, sitting on the edge of the bed so she could be at her sister’s height. Max’s face immediately fell into a frown and tears began to cascade down her cheeks as she cried again. Kim took Max’s hands away from her face and held them tightly, squeezing to support her younger sister, “Mom’s right. Everything is going to be fine.”

“I miss daddy.” Kim felt her heart breaking for the small girl in front of her. She took a deep breath to fight back her own tears as she nodded. Kim felt similar to how her younger sister did at the moment. What she wouldn’t do to curl up in one of her dads suffocating hugs. He hadn’t called since she had sent the money, she didn’t even know if he had got it. She wondered if he cared about them at all or if he was too lost in his own addiction to care at the moment. 

“I do too,” Kim licked her bottom lip, trying to focus on anything but the tears swelling inside of her chest again. This had been a rotten night, “But we still have each other. That’s what matters. You’re my baby sister, I’ll always take care of you.” Kim promised as she squeezed Max’s hands softly. It had been a long time since she had seen her this vulnerable.

“I wanted to run away,” Max spoke up, looking at Kim with tear stained eyes, “When we first moved here. I wanted to run away and be with him so badly. Part of me still does.” Kim blinked away her own tears as she nodded in understanding. She couldn’t blame her for wanting to leave, she had wanted the same for a long time now. 

“Maybe this will be the change we need. You have so many friends here now, we can get mom the support,” Kim tried to persuade the younger girl. She had no idea if that was what would actually happen. She could hope, but her mom was hard to read at times, “You know I’m always here if you want to talk.”

“I hate talking about my feelings,” Max grumbled, reminding Kim of Billy, “We shouldn’t have left without him.” Kim nodded hesitantly. She agreed, but she didn’t know how much of that statement her mom would agree with.. The bathroom door opened again and Susan stepped out changed, both of her cheeks reddened and tear stained. No matter how mad or upset Kim was at her for leaving, there was not a comparable feeling to seeing your mother cry. It left a hole inside of her heart. 

“I know, but he wouldn’t come with us,” Kim tried to explain to the younger girl, “I tried so hard but he wouldn’t listen. He said he needed to be there for Neil.” Kim tried not to make a face and acted as if she understood the other boy. Max’s eyebrows furrowed together.

“Steve said you wouldn’t call Billy your brother,” Max accused her, her blue eyes shooting into her, “Why? Did you actually tell him to come with us?” Kim gaped at her for a moment, unsure of how to approach the subject. 

“That’s not what I meant by it and yes I did try to make him come with us,” Kim pleaded the younger girl to listen as she squeezed her hands again. Kim tried to ignore the throbbing pain in her palm every time she flexed her hand, “He’s more like a friend to me than anything. We just don’t relate as siblings. Does that make sense?” Kim did her best to explain herself without giving anything away. She didn’t want to traumatize the younger girl. Max nodded slowly, looking like she accepted the answer as she reached forward and tumbled into her older sister’s arms. Kim hugged her back, knowing how hard Max tried to put on a tough exterior. 

“You girls should get ready for bed, I think we all need a long rest.” Susan nodded, looking at where their hands were interlocked. Max pulled away first, grabbing her pajamas from her bag as she lingered near their mother. Kim did the same, wondering if she should say anything to her mom. She didn’t think she deserved to get hit and only hoped this would keep her far away from Neil. They could survive on their own, like she said, they had faced worse. Kim’s only concern was Billy.

Max was still standing close to Susan as Kim made her way to the bathroom. She thought after everything that had happened that she would be sick. She looked in the mirror, noticing her red cheeks and puffy eyes. Apparently none of them were very good at keeping themselves together. She undressed into her nightgown but her fingertips lingered on the bruises Billy had left on her. She wasn’t sure why she was so afraid that she wouldn’t see him again. It was as if this was a dream and when she woke up he would be gone forever. Just a fragment of her memory. 

She scrubbed at her teeth, willing herself for some sort of normalcy as she tried not to think about Billy too hard. She didn’t know what she would do with herself if he was gone forever. Even now, she could feel the line that connected them. It was like he was here with her, even though he wasn’t. 

Max had already changed when she came back into the room, the lights were dim as she made her way to the side of the bed by the window. Max’s small body was curled up to her mother’s, like she was afraid to let her go. Kim understood. It was hard to look at her mom after everything that happened. For some reason, she felt as if she was partially responsible. She knew that it was irrational. She couldn’t control that Tommy had come to see her. Not that it was even Tommy’s fault, it was Neil’s anger issues that landed them in this position.

Kim clambered in next to Max as she pulled the scratchy sheets up over her body. She felt so alone at the moment, even with her mom and sister laying next to her. She thought that something was missing. She blamed it on her anxiety. She was convinced she was overthinking the situation with Billy. He had lived on his own with Neil for sixteen years. She was sure he’d be able to handle one night alone with him.

“Kimberly,” Her mom spoke up softly and she turned, seeing the younger redhead was fast asleep with her head on Susan’s chest. She looked at her mother, concerned at how red her face still was, “I need to ask you something.” She felt her eyebrows furrowing as she looked at her confused. She wasn’t sure what sort of answers she could help her mom with. She had always been treated like a little adult with her mother. She would have Kim pick up the slack that her father failed to do and would ask her advice on the guys she was seeing. Kim was certain she knew all of her mother’s secrets. 

“What is it?” Kim looked at her confused, sitting up a bit to look at the older woman better. The same hazel eyes stared back at her and Kim suspected she would begin to ask her what she thought about moving again. She figured this would be it, she was finally going to leave Neil. She started to worry about Billy again, knowing he wouldn’t come with them. 

“Is there something going on with you and Billy?” Kim felt her whole world stop. She felt similar to how she did earlier as fear raced through her and dug its nails into her skin. Her veins turned into an icy river as she exhaled, willing her heart to start again as her mother stared at her expectantly, “And please don’t lie to me. I won’t judge, I just want to know the truth.”

The truth? The truth was it was so much more complicated than anything that she could tell her mother. To Kim, it didn’t matter how much her mom told her she wouldn’t judge her. Despite everything that had just happened, she didn’t trust her. She had witnessed how hard it could be to stand up to your abuser, much less leave them. She didn’t want to say anything and then have her mom turn around and tell Neil, just for the blame and anger to fall back to Billy. She hated how cruel her thoughts were but she knew there was truth to it. She wouldn’t let Billy take the fall for this. Not this time. 

“No, God no,” Kim put on a good act as she tried to look as disgusted as she could, “He’s- you and Neil are married. It’s not like that. I just don’t have many friends and he listens surprisingly well.” She kept her hands glued to the bed, unmoving as she wouldn’t give herself away by fidgeting. She watched her mother relax a bit, nodding as she accepted the answer. Kim was thankful. She wasn’t sure what she would do if her mom still suspected something between the two of them. She knew then, that if this was to continue, that they had to be more careful. No more sex in places where people could easily walk in. Her mother was watching them and would continue to do so. She was sure of it. 

“I’m sorry, I just saw the way he was cleaning you up earlier and I guess I let my fears get the best of me,” Her mom sighed, “Love is hopeless. Trust me, you think you find someone good and this happens.” Susan motioned towards her reddened cheek. Kim faltered for a moment, as her mothers words were not something that she wanted to hear and accept. She didn’t want to live the rest of her life alone, she wanted to fall in love and have someone love her in the same way. 

“Right, it’s hopeless.” Kim repeated. She had always dreamed of having her knight in shining armor whisk her away. She guessed it was just hopeful thinking as she laid near her mom and thought of all the bad men she had been with before. Kim wondered if she had her same rotten luck. She didn’t want to end up in a similar situation. She wanted to be happy. She wanted to love someone and have someone love her in the same way. 

“What I said earlier,” Susan spoke again, appearing more exhausted as she looked towards the young girl, “Stay away from, Billy. I know what you said, but I still don’t trust him. He’d only use you for one thing.” Kim stared at her, wondering if she knew more than what she did. If her mother did, she didn’t say anything else as she closed her eyes while resting against Max’s head. Kim bit her lip so hard she thought she would draw blood. She didn’t think it was fair to say Billy wouldn’t stick around when he was the one who volunteered to stay with his abusive father. 

Kim waited until her mother fell asleep before she reached the inside of her duffel bag. She had so desperately wanted to call and hear Billy’s voice but now she was afraid to do so. She didn’t think she’d be able to sleep without knowing that he was alright. She pulled out the stuffed cow she had buried deep inside of it. She laid back against the pillows, clutching it towards her chest as she tried to convince herself that he was okay. She didn’t want to call in case Neil answered, but she wanted to make sure he was okay. If she closed her eyes hard enough she could still smell him, could still feel him lingering against her skin. She faced the window, clutching the cow in her chest and willed this to be some sick dream.

[silversiren1101]

💎💎💎 for giliys?

[I was hoping for this you have no idea]

"First, I suppose I should ask who put you up to this." Minovae smirks. "Everyone that knows Giliys has their own, strong, opinion on him, and it wouldn't be wrong to say they're probably more similar than not. Was it Theo? I know he worries about anything jeopardizing his healing relationship with Regill, and I can easily see him agonizing over the respective spouses not getting along."

She chuckles, and shakes her head.

"You know there's something to be said about Derenges and their chosen partners being so very unlike them! Still, he needn't worry. Against everything that says I shouldn't, I actually like Giliys. Or, well", her brows furrow. "It's hard to describe. I like him, but also I don't. He's abrasive beyond words and somehow more aggressive and angry than a vrock, but he's also... kind. He's generous, too. Just look at him with his and Theo's kids! Actually, he's so many contradictions folded on top of each other because of the things he's gone through, and it would be so very wrong and hypocritical of me to condemn him for what he had to do to survive it all."

A sense of sadness pulls down her smile and dims the light in her eyes. "He... the things that make him up at his very core are the same ones that make up any other good soul. His sense of right and wrong is amongst the strongest I've ever seen, and it's a crime that such an innately just and bright person has been shaped into what he is now. Society failed him. So many people failed him. His justice has been turned into retribution, all his goodness twisted to be in the name of survival."

"You know", she continues, "I truly, genuinely think he would've made for a knight the likes Avistan has never seen had he not been crushed and pushed to the breaking point like he had. It's just...", she sighs, "It doesn't excuse some of the things he's done, and I admit I might have executed him myself if I had caught him mid-act of some of them, but he's trying. I see it. It might only be because of Theo but that doesn't diminish that he's trying to make amends. I see it, and I see where he's come from and I see the frayed pieces there of what could have been and I see what could still be..."

She hums, low and mellow, musing further on it. "So yeah, he's awful and mean and has done some truly heinous things and yet I would say in full honesty that I would trust him with my life. I'd trust him with my family, too. Even if we didn't know each other, if we weren't 'family' as tenuous as that word is, if he saw me fall protecting Jess and I begged him with my last breath, in my unmistakable Hellknight armor and he just the nearest person I locked eyes with, to take my daughter and get here out of there, I know he would."

A sharp, dry laugh cuts through her thoughts. "Actually, Giliys might be the greatest Hellknight there never was. He definitely would've been an incredible paladin, though I'm not sure which god he would've pledged himself to, and none of them deserve him anyway. I'm under no impression that he might kill me for saying that if he finds out, though", she smiles sheepishly.

"I'm under no impression at all that he doesn't hate me, period, make no mistake of that. I'm everything he despises, and I know it. I'm a proud Hellknight, and one who joined to escape the horrible life I had because of what I am. He sees me as a traitor in that sense, another 'slave who picked up the whip themselves.' And the thing is? I can't blame him. I can't blame him at all. He's the exact person I became a Hellknight to protect and advocate for and yet... here he is... as he is. We didn't help him."

[lloydfrontera]

ok so here. here's the thing about giving silurian magic in the webtoon,, i think it actually diminishes her character a little bit?

because listen listen the thing about silurian is that she's,, just a girl. she's just a girl. that's how her father sees her, that's how everyone around her treats her and that's all she has known her entire life. she's just a girl, she can't even inherit her father's title nor be his heir because to him she's just his daughter who he loves very much but who one day he'll marry off to a hopefully good man to get an heir who'll take care of his city. and she knows this. she's not,, happy about it but she's aware of it. and then one day, this horrible thing happens in her city, this terrible very not good thing happens and there's a lot of people, her people, in danger and the one behind this is a man who everyone trusted and believed in and it turns out he's been killing innocents this whole time and is planning to kill thousands more. and silurian is just a girl right? she's just a girl, nothing very much special about her. but this is her city and this is her people and she can't just sit around and wait for everyone to die.

so she stands up and does something about it.

and she's just a girl so it may end up with her death. that's a very real possibility. but this is her responsibility and she won't stay down when the people around her need help.

and there's just something very poignant to me about a character that doesn't have much power nor is expected to accomplish a great amount of things to look around them and decide they still want to help. that even when surrounded by amazing people and terrible odds, they in their normalcy still can and must help in whatever way they can. especially when the narrative acknowledges this and shows that their efforts were not in vain and they deserve the same recognition as more powerful characters.

that's kind of the point of silurian's character. she was brave and she was kind and her death was a tragedy not because she was in a relationship with one of the male characters but because she was a good person who wanted to protect others with what little power she had and she didn't deserve to die.

so to give her powerful magic that allows her to easily defeat what was supposed to be a major villain in the original novel in which she died,,, kinda misses the point a little?? imo??

so,,, that's the thing. about giving silurian magic

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Harald Jaekelsson

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS! You can thank me later because now you won't have to read a piece of shit comic!)

So in 2003, Marvel decided to let Garth Ennis write a Thor story for the Marvel MAX imprint. Said story is called Thor: Vikings and it features Thor fighting against a horde of immortal, unstoppable zombie vikings. The Avengers are completely and utterly hopeless against said zombies and are beaten offscreen, Dr. Strange is a sarcastic asshole who acts more like Constantine than himself, and of course the whole thing is filled to the brim with the darkness, grit, and biases we all know and hate Ennis for. The last issue is the only one worth reading, and it is unfortunately held back by the fact that the previous four issues are tryhard edgelord nonsense. In short: This comic is absolute dog shit.

But hey, even the worst comics can have some positive qualities, right? Could it be that paerhaps the main viking zombie antagonist of this awful elseworlds story, Harald Jaekelsson, might actually be an interesting and compelling villain for Thor to face? Could it actually be possible for Ennis to fuck up the awesome concept that is Thor, a self-loathing Nazi who hates Hitler and his government, an affable Templar knight, and a warrior woman vs. a horde of zombie vikings?

Of course it’s possible! I’m going to tell you just how possible it is! And I'm also going to rant about how terrible this comic is!

Motivation/Goals: Literally everything there is to know about this guy is right in the very first page of the comic:

I'm not kidding when I say that there is literally nothing to this guy but murder, rape, and conquest. There's no underlying motivations, there's no hints of complexity, nothing remotely resembling a personality. He's just a walking, talking, rape-and-pillage machine.

Final Fate: The sole redeeming feature of this comic is the final issue, which actually manages to deliver a cool premise (even if it's not enough to save it as a whole). And considering how fucking nasty and unpleasant Jaekelsson has been this whole time, his ultimate end is very, very satisfying.

First, he gets fucking roasted by Thor's crew as the god goes in for the wind up:

And then Thor gives this crusty viking bastard the ol' Kars tratment:

This is somewhat diminished due to the fact that, unlike Kars, Jaekelsson's personality and characterization is thinner than wet paper, but I'll let Thor have this since it's the only cool thing he gets to do in the whole comic.

Final Thoughts & Score: The goodwill a work like Preacher awards you can only get you so far, and this might very well have burned all that up. As Thor: Vikings is utter dog shit, so too is its main antagonist. But quite frankly, Jaekelsson goes beyond being shitty; he is, without a doubt, the worst fucking villain I have ever seen in my life.

He is quite literally everything wrong with Garth Ennis and his writing in one gruesome package. His entire personality is nothing but rape and murder, with zero complexities or anything compelling to make him interesting beyond being a shallow hate sink; he easily curbstomps the heroes, including Thor, because Ennis hates heroes with a passion and will be damned before he lets one have a win over normal, everyday folk (something undercut by Thor getting a badass finishing blow); and worst of all, his entire existence is just absolute nonsense to get Ennis’ point across, existing only so he can deliver a grisly “fuck you” to superheroes.

Like, there is literally no reason that Jaekelsson, let alone the rest of the vikings, should be so absurdly overpowered from a curse that they are singlehandedly able to commit mass murder and no sell gods, super soldiers, the fucking Scarlet Witch, and all modern technology and gunfire. And yet Jaekelsson and his crew continue to pull new unexplained magical abilities out of their ass at every turn so that Ennis can keep allowing the bodies to pile higher and higher. There’s no logic to anything going on in this story because these zombie vikings exist only to make the heroes look like incompetent jackasses so Ennis can make a “point.”

And you know, there’s an easy fix to this: Make the vikings more like the undead pirates in Pirates of the Caribbean. Give them a lot of strength and durability that makes them a challenge to fight, but also allows them to be beaten with enough cunning and wits. Hell, if you want to make it so Thor can’t just zap them away with lightning, go the Kingdom Hearts II route and have them be immune to all damage (even magic) when not standing in the moonlight revealing their skeletal forms. There are plenty of creative ways to make a challenge out of cursed sailors, but that would require a bit of thinking, wouldn’t it? And it would require giving any of these zombies a personality.

And that’s perhaps Jaekelsson’s biggest failing: He is an utter void of a character. The last two paragraphs were me ranting about the zombies as a whole because Jaekelsson is less than nothing. He is just a walking personification of rape, murder, and brutality who exists as the ultimate and definitive generic doomsday villain, a black hole of character writing and charisma that just sucks the joy and readability out of the story. A comic needs a compelling villain, and doubly so if you’re trying to make a point like Ennis so desperately is here, and Jaekellson is just none of that. He’s all the bad bits of Preacher and The Boys wrapped into one package, and it might be the worst thing he’s ever done.

I thought Alan Moore’s Moonchild was the shittiest villain ever, but at least Moore had something he was trying to say. At least there was enough to his absolutely whack take on Harry Potter to start a conversation about, and if nothing else there’s the absolute hilarity of seeing Harry zap Sean Connery with electrified thunder piss. It was still fucking terrible, but you can at least kind of appreciate the effort Moore is putting in to his grumpy old man ranting. Now imagine that but there’s no effort to be compelling and even more effort to be spiteful, and you have Jaekelsson.

I’m giving him a -1/10. Yeah, a negative score. This is the most spiteful, edgy, tryhard waste of ink I’ve ever had the misfortune to see, and he’s easily the worst thing in one of the worst things Ennis ever wrote. How did he manage to make a zombie viking who features in some of the most metal panels ever so unbelievably lame? I am so fucking mad that a comic that has this panel-

-is one of the worst things I've ever read in my life.

Thank god none of this shit is canon, no matter what Ennis says.

[vanlegion]

“Grand”

"Actually, I'm glad we missed the bus." Jay spoke up, conviction in his voice.

Matthew turned to him with a raise eyebrow. Andrew also looked at him in confusion, holding onto the railing for dear life. "No, seriously. I know it's been a mess, and things have been..." "Atrocious?" "Terrifying?" "I was gonna say 'less than great'. Look, would we be here right now, looking at something like this if things hadn't gone sideways?" "No. We'd be at least half way to California by now. Probably in Nevada, at a pit-stop where we'd be having dinner, and not seven thousand feet in elevation!" Andrew balked, slightly bent as he clung to the railing. Jay frowned and shifted his gaze towards Matthew, giving the other man an almost pleading look. Matthew returned his gaze. This entire time he'd been running thin on what shreds of sanity and composure he'd had left. . . but that look. Matthew sighed and took in as much a breath he could. The elevation was indeed very much causing a bit of a headache, but not enough to diminish the sight before him. Jay so rarely was moved by anything other than magic. But he supposed this place could be viewed as pretty magical. He couldn’t stop his soft smile as he tilted his head and held out his hand. "As much of a complete mess these past thirty-six hours have been, I think. . . You're right." "What?! Jay's never right!" "I've been right about things before!" "And this is one of them. You see this place in photos or on TV all the time, but seeing it here, now, in person? It's... really amazing. I've never really thought about ever coming here myself but... here we are and I'm really happy to have this experience." Matthew spoke sincerely as he laced his hand with Jay's. Jay smiled widely, eyes almost seeing to reflect the light of the dying day. He pulled Matthew into him, kissing him as he did. "I'm sorry for messing up." "I know, and I'm sorry for getting so upset." "And I'm sorry for adding to all the stress, but I will hurl myself off this mountain if you two keep acting like lovebirds." Jay rolled his eyes, pulling away from Matthew but still keeping an arm around him. "Stop being a jealous bitch and get over here." Matthew arched an eyebrow, holding out his free hand towards the other man. Andrew looked indignant as he grabbed Matthew’s hand, and the man hoisted him up. “I am not jealous! You guys are just super sappy and-” “You’re still upset about Kelly.” Jay interrupted. “Of course I am! How could I not be?! Two years and four months of what I thought was the best relationship I ever had, gone, along with my backstabbing best friend!” “Dude, I’m pretty sure Nick didn’t actually do anything. But Kelly totally was sleeping around behind your back.” Jay frowned. “Oh and how would you know?” Andrew growled.

“Like recognizes like.” Jay shrugged. Andrew stared at Jay a moment before looking at Matthew, who shook his head in a way that seemed to indicate some sort of naivety. “Darling, I get that’s why you decided to last minute ditch going with Nick on the trip to the reunion, but you can’t let this eat you up. You need to let this go.” “Right, like you did in so easily in middle school when you two broke up.” Andrew grit his teeth. “Hey-” Jay barked, but Matthew squeezed Jay’s hand. “That’s my point. I’ve been there. It’s a terrible place to be in. I was a fucking mess. You were too. That whole Bernie thing really hit you hard. And it’s like I’m seeing it happen all over again. Andrew, you’ve done things over the last day I’d have never ever expected to see you do, or would believe if someone told me. That should be something to be proud of! Yet I’m worried you only did those things because of how little you cared if you got hurt, or worst.” Andrew said nothing, but the way he was holding back his emotions told Matthew everything he’d just said was hitting the nail on the head. Using the leverage that he was still holding Andrew’s hand, he pulled the man to his side and hugging his arm around the other’s waist.

“We’re here for you.” Matthew felt Jay copy his own movement, squeezing close as well. The fleeting thought of feeling sandwiched between the both of them made him feel just a little crowded, but not entirely unpleasant. “Okay, turn this was and say Spit-Roast!” Maury held up a camera centered on the three, though making sure to get in some of the beautiful scenic view. “Not now!” Matthew snapped, indicated Andrew’s obvious saddened state. “Alright, alright. Take care of the boy. I’ll check in later.” Maury waved, but still took a quick snap just for good measure. Matthew turned back to see Andrew staring forward, though finally letting the tears fall. Jay’s free hand found his own and laced them together, as he whispered into his ear and kissed his temple. Matthew returned the gesture, then rested his head against Andrew’s, which caused the other man to break out of his trace for a moment. “Take all the time you need.” Matthew spoke softly. Andrew gave a hollow half chuckle, a hum of acknowledgement, and after a few quiet moments spoke up. “I know you’re trying to help and be nice, but all I can think right now is that it feels like your flirting with me. Heh.” The silence continued on for a good few minutes, until Andrew’s eyes widened just a bit.

“Oh.” “Took you longer than I thought. But I suppose with current events and all.” Andrew turned his gaze towards Matthew, and held it. Matthew did the same. And again, for a good few minutes, the silence lingered. “Hey, guys, look.” Jay spoke up. “There’s a goat shitting off the mountain.” And thus, the magic this place held, suddenly came to a careening halt.

[quitereal]

thoughts on the Ark season 1, there will be spoilers, it will be long

I’m gonna start by saying I like it. It’s a bit campy, the science is not all there, there’s some stuff that bugs me, but overall, I like the show, I’m gonna watch season 2. 

I do hope they get a writer with a basic understanding of science for season 2 though, because even if the sci fi rule is “it only needs to sound legit” I don’t feel like this passed the bar? I’m sorry, treating an FTL drive like a USB you can just plug and play from ship to ship is just... not it. And they did have the temporal problems but even the solution for that was not great, in my opinion. I need the crew to be more competent too, there’s just too many instances where it feels like they got screwed because they didn’t bother to test something before trying to use it in the field. For instance, the FTL bubble shield. They literally pulled a mutiny on the basis that the shield was going to protect them, and they didn’t even turn it on once before they needed to use it? Like you’d test a used car more than that before you’d buy it, and yet we have a ship full of supposed experts who didn’t think to test it ONCE before counting on it to save their lives.

The biggest thing I want, though, is for them to make the villains LESS INSANELY EVIL for no actual reason. Seriously, the human race is dying out and instead of just threatening the other Arks (which are carrying some of humanity’s best and brightest) to get into line and follow her lead, Maddox just destroys two thirds of humanity on the off-chance she might kill Trust along with them? I need a real explanation for why they hate one another so much, because two people who are supposed to be the smartest humans in existence should be able to get past it in order to save humanity. I know the point is like “people like them are the reason we were wiped out” and they want Garnet and the others to show there’s a better way, but I just need their evil to make some small amount of sense.

As for ships... I’m all in for the slow-burn, enemies to lovers with Garnet & Lane. They have chemistry, the actors are both great, I really like that Garnet has a second in command who doesn’t just agree with her or trust her blindly, I love the mutual respect they seem to have established. Looking forward to seeing some consequences of a Captain/Subordinate relationship, really hoping they don’t do a Janeway and make it so Garnet can’t have a relationship with anyone now that she’s the Captain. 

I really like Brice & Ava as individual characters, and I do ship it, but I wish it had gone a bit more slowly? All for them jumping into bed right away, it’s in character for Brice and I feel like Ava needed it too, but they went straight in for a committed relationship a lot faster than I would’ve liked. Ava’s boyfriend literally just died what, a few months ago? So while I could see her jumping into bed with Brice, her admitting that she’s fallen for Brice so quickly really struck me as forced. Coupled with the fact that she really betrayed Brice in a very bad way --like, she didn’t JUST drug him, she had sex with him THEN drugged him-- I don’t think he should’ve forgiven her so easily? It really strikes me as a violation of trust, if nothing else, and I wanted them to hash it out more, build the trust back before they admitted their feelings. But seeing the ending, I get that they wanted to finish the season with a very much in-love couple so they could tease Ava’s death as a high stakes cliffhanger, but I feel like this diminished the whole ship. That said, they totally give me B’Ellana & Tom vibes (sorry for all the Voyager references, if you haven’t watched it, you SHOULD) and I love them for that, so I really hope that Ava isn’t dead and that in Season 2 we’ll get to see the consequences of them getting together so quickly, maybe have some trust issues from Brice come up, basically, I want some more angst over here.

Alicia and Angus really don’t do a thing for me. It might just be that they seem so young, or that the idea that the nerds have to fall in love is boring to me, but I don’t see the chemistry. I do like the character development we’ve seen so far; Alicia coming from someone who was smart, but obedient, to someone who will disobey orders she doesn’t believe in and can think outside the box to save the day, I hope to see her become a really strong character. As for Angus, I’m glad at the end that they seemed to hint that he has some lasting trauma from his experience with Kelly; if they just write off his being kidnapped and sexually harassed by her I’ll be pretty disappointed. I’m not mad they didn’t get into it more, there wasn’t time for them to do it justice and I really want this to be well-handled, but we need to see Angus getting to process what happened to him.

I love Felix, but honestly, I cannot understand why they gave a white man a samurai sword. Swords in space are cool, but if you want a samurai in space, they should be Japanese. Like this isn’t hard guys, basic diversity 101. That said, I love that Felix is a gay man who isn’t effete or any other stereotypes, I love that he’s the character that has a child he’s been separated from and feels guilt for it, although it does bother me how abruptly they killed off Robert. I’m really hopeful that they have something more interesting in mind with Katherine, since we don’t know what happened to her yet. I’m hoping they do something with time travel here, because I don’t really want them to bring an eight year old onto the ship, but I definitely want more family-angst for Felix.

Kabir is a fantastic character, in my opinion. I love her relationships with literally everybody, how Felix helped her with her addiction --and how the addiction is being shown as an ongoing thing, not just a one and done issue-- and Cat betrayed her trust later on. I like that she’s a mentor-figure for Alicia, and just a confidante for everyone. She’s the character that’s everybody’s best friend, and honestly I can’t even hate her for it. It would be so easy to have had her be the perfect maternal role, but they threw in the addiction and it really fleshed her out, in my opinion.

I really hope they stay completely away from anything further with Cat & Trust, to be honest. I like Cat, I find her really interesting and compelling and I love that she lets people think she’s just a vapid celebrity when in actuality she has depths that she hides under that blonde wig. I don’t like Trust, but I realize we’re not supposed to like him. I do want them to get more into what exactly the “Juno Project” is all about, it honestly sounds pretty eugenics-y so I’m hoping they’re real careful with this.

Honestly, the show’s got a lot of potential from here. The characters all have room for growth, the ships have room to go places, they set up some hooks for future plots and I’m very hopeful. It really reminds me a lot of other sci fi shows, like Star Trek: Voyager (as evidenced by my references) but also Stargate: Universe and I just love the vibe of it. This got real long, I won’t blame anyone if they don’t want to read all my thoughts, but I don’t have anyone to talk to about this show so I just wanted to get them all out while they were fresh. I’m really looking forward to season 2, and so grateful they already announced it’s renewed.