#it is so fucking important to so many things
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You know, what ultimately decided my response to this was the line 'at the core of reactionary politics is aggrieved entitlement!'
And the shear hubristic irony of these posts, in the context of the original post's actual statement of 'The people I rejected would greet me with open arms, as long as I hated the right way, while the community I embrace refuses to treat me as a person, even as I actively work to help make their lives better'?
It just speaks of, again ironically enough, of the position of AGGRIEVED FUCKING ENTITLEMENT on your part, in the very specific concept of 'You should never comment about how badly you are treated by anyone on my side, your suffering should be silent and the very fact that you're hurt by it proves you deserve that suffering.'
This is one of those things that is important, because as many people have noted, progressive social policies is... actually the norm. So much so that we fear them BEING REMOVED BY TRUMP'S IMPENDING PRESIDENCY.
And we don't get to the point where the only way those things are at risk is because of a major right-wing shift in politics WITHOUT those things being the status quo.
The very entrenched status quo you wish to maintain at any cost. So much so that the very idea that what you've done before is not as beneficial as you'd want to think gets a knee-jerk angry reaction like these fucking posts.
Because being reactionary isn't limited to the right-wing. It's purely defined by desiring to defend or return to a preferred status quo.
the amount of redditors like "as someone who escaped the alt right pipeline, here's the problem with the left" *writes out essay revealing a massive victim complex*...you did NOT escape the right i'm afraid 😭🙏 at the core of reactionary politics is aggrieved entitlement!
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So, Things Are Terrible and You Want to DO SOMETHING
The election is over and, ah...did not go well. While a lot of folks are doing a post mortem of the campaigns and trying to understand what happened with the vote and fighting over who shoulders the blame, we've gotta turn an eye toward the future and figure out, okay fam, where the fuck do we go from here.
I don't have all the answers on this, and I'm not an authority by any means, I'm just a horror author with a blog. But I've been thinking a lot about it and I wanted to share my thought process with others who might want to DO SOMETHING but feel they're spinning their wheels.
Buckle in. This will be a long one.
Step One: Understand the actual risks and stakes.
I think it is very easy to start panicking now about the worst possible case scenario -- jackbooted military busting into the door to disappear everyone who ever said something mean about Trump or bought a banned book or something -- and let fear turn into inaction.
I'm not saying things can't get that bad, and I'm not saying that it won't be absolutely terrifying right out the gate for some particularly at-risk groups -- but the distance between "now" and "V for Vendetta" is long and filled with a lot of intermediary steps. There will be so many opportunities to prevent the worst case scenario.
I say this because, if your mental image of "Bad Things Happening" is The Purge, it will be easy to wake up on inauguration day, look outside to see that the world is not on fire, think, hey, maybe things will be okay after all, and then completely disengage. Alternatively, you might feel so frozen with terror at the possibility of persecution that you do nothing. This is why people are saying: don't obey in advance.
It is essential for those of us with more privilege to use it to take care of those who are more vulnerable.
So. Who is most vulnerable? What does that vulnerability actually mean? What are the most likely risks of Trump's presidency? Here's a Guardian article that I think does a good job of summarizing some of the main issues. Go read that, then come back here.
Step Two: Take steps to protect yourself
You've gotta put your oxygen mask on first, right? So before you start getting involved in other causes, figure out what risks YOU are at, immediately, and do as much as you can to secure yourself. Some potential action steps depending on your circumstance may include:
Renewing your passport (helpful for leaving the country, but also for gender/name change purposes)
Getting vaccines / boosters
Securing birth control
Ensuring your necessary papers (birth certificates etc.) are where you have access to them.
Drawing up legal paperwork for spouses/partners (always a good idea, a helpful safety measure in case you lose marriage rights)
Bolstering your data privacy and online security. Here's a step-by-step guide I found that could help with that.
The specific steps you need to take here depend on what risks you, personally, face. You'll want to do some more research into this for your particular scenario.
No matter who you are, though, it's probably a good idea to start saving money and being a little more conservative with your spending and/or pay down debts to free up some cash. You don't know what kind of emergency may befall you, and having spare money for an emergency is never a bad idea.
There is a possibility that the cost of many things you rely on might go up, if Trump goes through with his tariffs plan. You will want to plan for that.
Food costs may also rise due to tariffs (we import a lot of food from Mexico and Latin America for example) as well as a loss of immigrant labor. There is also a possibility that food safety standards could fall due to overturning regulations. Now would be a good time to look into local food resources like farm share/CSA, community farms, etc., and to stock up on a few key staples like rice and beans.
Okay. Now that YOU are reasonably safe...what can you do to protect your community?
Step Three: Get Involved
Here is your mission: You need to stay engaged enough to know what's going on, without burning yourself out or exhausting yourself, and to take actual decisive actions instead of wasting your energy arguing on the internet.
Got that? Okay. Good. Here are some action steps:
Support independent journalism. Subscribe to local papers, donate to and watch public broadcast programming. I signed up for news from ProPublica, for example, as well as the news-roundup service What The Fuck Just Happened Today. The goal is to stay informed without falling down an endless rabbit hole of upsetting information.
Share news and resources with others in your circle. This can be a good use of social media. It's what I am doing right now!
If it is safe for you to do so, challenge and educate your friends/family members/neighbors/coworkers. Only if it is safe for you to do so. Do not put yourself at risk doing this. And do not waste your time arguing with people who are unlikely to change. But if you have well-meaning people in your life who you think could be won over, look for opportunities to do this - the right way. I've had some success with this, I will probably write a guide about it in the future. In the meantime, here's a good article that can help.
Join local grassroots activism groups. You'll have to do some work to decide what groups to join and which causes you want to support, because you cannot do everything. But there are tons of organizations taking direct action in all kinds of causes. Search "grassroots [cause] activists in [where you live]" to start finding things. Once you get involved in one group, you might meet people who can introduce you to other groups and causes. Yes, this means you will have to go outside and meet people. I'm sorry.
Join direct action groups. Same concept as above. You'll have to search in your area but once you know people it'll be easier to find more opportunities. Some of these groups may overlap. You might find direct action opportunities by engaging politically and vice versa. GO OUTSIDE AND TALK TO PEOPLE WHO ARE DOING THINGS TO HELP.
Get involved in local politics. Here are some quick tips. A lot of things are affected at the city level - stuff like book bans and bathroom bills are often battled first at local libraries and schools, and you can be part of those conversations! Sheriffs are elected and can have a big influence on local policing. Local elections affect how tax dollars are spent, how homeless populations are treated, and lots more. Don't snooze on local elections. Get involved and stay involved.
Look up your representatives. Get in the habit of calling, emailing, and writing letters. Figure out what legislature is being passed and then call your reps and harangue them about it - both to support bills you approve of and shoot down ones you don't. Sign petitions. Join email campaigns. Here's one you can go sign right now from the ACLU. See? Not that scary.
I think a lot of people figure that getting involved in politics doesn't matter or that it's all small potatoes but...man. The president is not god, no matter what he thinks. The sitting administration is not the sole power in the universe. There is an entire machine of government we can lean upon and act upon.
Finally, some general safety notes:
Some forms of direct action are not legal. Take steps to be safe if you choose to partake. Follow the lead of more seasoned activists for what forms of communication to use and so forth.
If you're not willing or able to put yourself at legal risk to act, you can help others by donating to bail funds and legal defense funds.
We've already seen this in some areas, and it will only get uglier - some bad actors are feeling emboldened by the change in regime and will misbehave. It's a good idea to learn some self-defense skills, in whatever way is comfortable to you, and brush up on some tenets of victimology that can help you stay safe. I'll write more about that in the future.
All right. That's all for now. It's by no means comprehensive...but should hopefully help you get started taking the next step. Stay safe out there.
#uspol#politics#direct action#grassroots activism#get involved#election 2024#us politics#us elections
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be young, be dope, be proud
dynasty heir Aemond x heiress reader
a/n: randomly and carelessly drafted after a night out, so don't even ask me what this is. title obvi from Lana. also, I feel like the setting here is an acquired taste. so, enjoy? 💁🏼♀️🤍
themes/warnings: spoiled rich assholes, New York/modern references, language, clichés galore, Targs are like the Kennedys if that whole family was pure evil and Rep, SMUT, angst between brats who clearly want each other, also—you're kind of a hypocrite
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The estate reeks with old money: marble columns, ancestral portraits, and a long dining table loaded with crystal and silver. Chandeliers try to warm the place, but it's all cold opulence. Outside, the gardens are cut and tamed to show that even nature has a price.
Your father always brings the family along to stately dinners up there in Westchester, with the usual crowd in attendance—the Targaryens, the Velaryons, the Lannisters—the whole lot.
Between them, they could probably purchase every building in Manhattan without creating a single dent in the bank.
Hell, maybe they already have. Generational wealth truly is the gift that keeps on giving.
You've tried to distance yourself from it. From people whose words drip poisoned honey and condescension. Being waited on like new order royalty.
But who are you to talk, when your father's lineage traces back to the fucking Mayflower? You and them are one and the same—filthy rich and borderline insane.
It is nearly impossible to maintain a steady sense of self, to have ample room for personal growth, when everything, every single thing, is handed to you on a silver platter. There is no tension there, no struggle, no need to exert any effort.
Failed your courses? Your father donates a building to the university. Aemond gets several DUIs? His great-uncle is a Supreme Court Justice. Aegon nearly burns his friend's house down while throwing a bacchanal-themed party? Let's just say that friend is grounded. For a week. Oh, the horror. Their family had many other estates, in many other places anyway.
When there are no real repercussions to your actions, you will feel like you can do just about whatever you want.
Burn the world down, for all you care. You can just buy a new, better one.
Granted, not everyone in your circle is an entitled egotist. There's Helaena, who strangely enough, does not possess a single self-important bone in her body, unlike her aforementioned brothers. Jace, who spends most of his time getting involved in political activism, for the side that his magnate grandfather Viserys steadfastly opposes.
You'd always sit beside either of them in these dinners, for the sake of your sanity. Unfortunately, Aemond and Aegon are never far. Especially Aemond—who occassionally stares you down as he sits across the table. Aegon, seated to his left, whistles at you. "Hey. Hey so... are you still slumming it with the art crowd?"
"I'm sorry?" You narrow your eyes at him. He didn't even say hello or mind if I cut in? as Jace was telling you about attending the DNC rally.
Aemond watches you again, so closely it raises goosebumps along your arms. He's been stealing glances at you ever since you arrived with your family. And you've been openly shooting glares at him when you sense it. Him and that steely one-eyed gaze of his always gets under your skin.
Aegon sneers, and you think how it's so in character of him. "You still live in Brooklyn? Cosplaying as a normie?"
"Fuck off, Aegon."
You've been living in Brooklyn for the past year, trying to finish up your Masters from Barnard. You would never hear the end of how this is the most redundant and useless thing, especially from people like Aegon. It does seem contrived, daddy's little heiress playing at being a scholar at Columbia, but at least you are doing something.
Besides, you have no desire to take over your family's empire. If anything, you want to branch out, maybe take on Jace's proposal on starting a charity foundation together.
"Aegon! Do you know how messed up that sounds?" Jace comes to your rescue, but you know it'll be for nought. Aegon's brain is too warped, too silver-spoonfed, to recognise his folly. You used to feel sympathy for the guy—this life is all he's ever known, and it isn't as if the adults around him ever set a good example, so can you blame him?
Used to. Now, he just annoys you. You grew up the same, but you are not like him, aren't you? So did Hel and Jace. So did Aemond. And Aemond, while still an asshole, is at least someone you can tolerate. He's vicious when it comes to his ambition, but he's genuinely smart.
He's cold and aloof, but he is also capable of tenderness.
You would never readily admit to anyone how you know this about him.
And he's staring you down, once again. You immediately know it's him when you feel someone nudge your shin under the table.
You eye him warily. What do you want?
He raises his eyebrows. Nothing. Just missed you.
At least that's what you're picking up from him. Why wouldn't he miss you? You're probably the best thing in his life right now. He should be so grateful you're still giving him the time of day, especially after everything he's done.
Aemond nods ever so subtly, the gesture meant for only you. You already know what he's getting at, but you don't feel like caving just yet.
It's another long moment of tuning in and out of your conversation with Jace, but Aemond's unspoken question lingers. When you deign to look at him again, he tilts his head to the side. Let's go.
He knows to leave first, and he stands and excuses himself from the table. Barely anyone gives him any mind, the adults debating passionately at the farther end.
You wait one whole minute, your heels tapping impatiently under the table. Then you follow suit.
"I need some air. Might have a smoke or something," you mumble to Jace. He wouldn't want to tag along, the scrunch of his face revealing how much he loathes the habit.
"Just the one," he tuts, raising a finger.
You roll your eyes fondly. "Okay, dad."
Aemond has just lit a cigarette when he hears you come in. The door to the private library lets out a tiny creak then shuts without a sound. He faces the window, his back to you. But he knows it's you. He can almost hear the derision in your exhale. A hint of your unmistakeable Guerlain scent is present in the room.
When you draw closer, he sees the ghost of your reflection on the glass, a mirage perched atop his shoulder. He thinks of the age-old visual of having an angel and a devil on either side. You would be the angel, and the devil... would probably be his own self.
The side he fights to keep buried. He knows you see it, and hate it, but you want him anyway. You let him have you anyway. And these stolen moments with you are the only times when he is truly free.
Without a word, he offers a cigarette to you, his hand moving with a smooth, practiced form that makes it feel like he's not just offering you a smoke but issuing a silent challenge. He lifts his lighter, an intricate, expensive thing engraved with his family crest, flicking it open with a soft metallic click, then holding the flame steady as you lean in.
He can't help but admire how beautiful you are as the glow illuminates your face.
"Do you ever get bored?" you sneer, folding your arms as you lean against a shelf. "Sitting there all night with that smug, 'yes, I agree with all of this' look while your family drones on about the 'sanctity of tradition.' Like a good little heir."
Aemond raises an eyebrow, barely looking up from his cigarette as he takes a drag. You sure have a habit of getting right down to business. "Funny," he replies smoothly. "For someone who 'hates' tradition, you play the part of Daddy's obedient little princess pretty well. I saw you batting your eyes at every gray-haired councilman at that table."
"Oh, please." You roll your eyes, heat flaring in your cheeks, though whether from anger or the way his gaze always seems to pin you in place, despite your best efforts, you can't say. "I'm not doing it because I like it. I don't sit there pretending I'm better than the rest of the world."
"You don't?" He cocks his head, his lips quirking into a wry, infuriating smirk. "Could've fooled me, princess. All I ever hear from you in these dinners are 'Oh, absolutely' and 'Oh, that's so interesting'—like you'd just die if they didn't think you cared."
"Wow, okay, says the guy who spent twenty minutes nodding along while they debated the tax breaks for HNWIs. Planning to cut yourself some more slack there, hotshot?" You take a quick, sharp puff, the smoke billowing out of your lips as you continue your tirade. "You're a damn statue, Aemond. Most of the time, you don't even say a word, and yet somehow you sit there looking like everyone should be grateful you graced them with your presence."
He takes a step closer, and his voice drops. This is something only you can do—you get to him, you hit him where it matters. Or, you're the only one he allows the privilege of doing so. "And you hate it, don't you? You hate that I don't care what they think. That I'm not actually here to impress anyone."
Your laugh comes out bitter. "Please. You don't care because you're so convinced they already think you're perfect. You don't have to impress anyone because you're Aemond Targaryen, right? The perfect heir to a glowing legacy."
"Better that than playing the poor, tortured rebel." He's so close you can count the facets of the sapphire in his socket, a dangerous gleam flashing behind them—another outlandish, excessive thing only a billionaire's son would think to do. "At least I'm not pretending I want to burn it all down while running around in the same circles as everyone else. Tell me, do you actually care about the policies Jacaerys painstakingly explains to you? Or is it all just for show?"
"You don't know me, Aemond."
"Oh, but I do. In fact, I think I'm the only one who knows the real you."
You clench your jaw, craning your neck up to look at him. How ironic that he literally has to look down on you too. "Unlike you, I actually feel something about all this. You sit there like you're above it all, and it's pathetic."
"Pathetic?" He lets out a low, humorless laugh. "You want to talk about pathetic? The only thing pathetic is you standing there acting like a revolutionary when you're just like the rest of us."
"At least I want to get out. At least I want to make a goddamn difference and—"
"Then do it," he says, his tone mocking, as he leans in closer, his breath warm against your face. "Get out. Run off, make your big escape. Show everyone how different and special you are, princess."
"Oh, right," you shoot back, trying to regain some of your moxie after his unexpected retort. "And leave you to taint my image after then?"
He scoffs, the gesture dismissive, almost cruel. "You wouldn't be here if you actually had the guts to go through with it."
Aemond may be a pretentious asshole, but he's right, and you know it. "You know what, Aemond? What if... I tell you that I like it. The power, the status, all of it. Is that what you want to hear?"
He smirks. "You'd be adrift without it. You'd be lost without all this to complain about." His gaze drops to your mouth, as if he could already guess exactly how a rendezvous like this is going to end.
How it always ends.
You feel your breath hitch, your pulse racing even as you grit your teeth against the draw of him.
"Don't look at me like that," you snap, trying to keep the upper hand. You should leave. You know this, know you should storm out and leave him here with that damn arrogant smirk on his face.
Call it a truce, and do it all over again next time.
"What's wrong? Afraid you'll do something you'll regret?"
The challenge in his tone has you seething, heat blazing up your neck. "You're insufferable, you know that?” You try to sound as furious as you feel, but your voice wavers, and the corner of his mouth tilts in a dark, smug smile.
"Then leave, princess." His eyes flash, daring you, mocking you, yet he doesn't move back. "Go on. Show me that strength you keep talking about."
The words are meant to push you away, to test how much you can take, but they do something else instead. They push you over the edge, sending you surging forward before you even know what you're doing, fisting the front of his pristine shirt and yanking him down to you.
Your mouth meets his, all anger and fire, biting at his lips as he smirks against you, welcoming the aggression. His hands find your waist, pawing at your gown, pushing you back until you stumble against the bookshelf.
You try to hold onto the anger, to use it to keep yourself in control, but the way he kisses you—rough, possessive, familiar, with a hunger that seems to match yours—makes it impossible. His hands slip to your hips, fingers digging into you with a desire that you both pretend doesn't exist anywhere but here, in the dark corners of your little meeting places.
"Stop," you gasp for breath, pulling away for just a second, trying to steady yourself, but he follows, his mouth trailing down your jaw to your neck, biting down just enough to make you groan.
His fingers slip beneath the slit of your dress, finding bare skin. "Then tell me you don't want this."
Your head tilts back involuntarily, the blissed hitches in your breath becoming frequent. You should tell him to stop, but the words never come, not with his fingers tracing up your thigh, the pressure of his lean body against yours, the electric shiver that races through you as his mouth tongue dances with your own.
You give in, letting your anger melt into something messier, something that's been building between you both for so long you don't know how to unravel it. Your hands move to his white-blonde hair, pulling him closer. His hand slips higher, while the other is braced against the bookshelf behind you.
There's nothing careful about it—gone are the dynasty heirs who are unfailingly curated and perfect and genteel in the public eye. It's all frantic, hands grabbing, mouths clashing, neither of you willing to let the other take control but both of you giving in to the heat. He yanks your dress up, lifting you and positioning himself between your legs, his breathing rough as he makes quick work of his belt. Then he lets his trousers and underwear drop halfway down his thighs, and his cock springs free, pressing on the draped material of your gown, which you hurriedly bunch to the side.
It's like a sick power play when he takes two fingers and plunges them past your soaked entrance, right to his knuckles. All without breaking eye contact.
But neither has the upper hand. You and Aemond are one and the same.
"Seems like you're ready for me, princess."
"Mhmm, aghh—" He hooks his fingers inside you, hitting that damned spot. "Just fuck me already."
And when he does, his cock practically propping you up against the bookshelf, it's fast, chaotic, your movements nothing short of needy and desperate, as if you're both trying to prove something to the other. You don't care about the priceless first-edition books that rattle precariously behind you, nor about the way his fingers dig into your flesh that guarantee bruises that will show tomorrow. Right now, you're past caring, past pretending that you actually ever cared about anyone but yourself.
And maybe... Aemond.
His groans come out unrestrained against your neck, his tongue flicking over the droplets of sweat, as if he can't bear you being any less than perfect.
Only he can taint you, only he can see you broken in and fucked out like this, your lipstick smeared to the side of your mouth. That same shade of rouge littering his cheek, his jaw, the collar of his shirt.
No words are exchanged, as if they've been used up in your twisted version of foreplay from earlier.
All he offers is, "Fuck, baby, I'm close," as his hips continue in its assault, his hands buried in the softness of your arse, keeping you in place.
"So am I," you counter.
He falls apart inside you, his cock sputtering while lodged deep in your clenched walls. The near-animalistic growl he lets out brings you to your climax, your forehead falling against his as your entire body is rendered limp in his arms.
When you finally pull away, flushed, your heart still racing, he looks at you with that same arrogant smirk, and you can't help but feel the distaste rising back up.
"Still think I don't know you?" he murmurs, smug satisfaction written all over his face.
You glare at him, pulling your dress back down, refusing to let him have the last word even as his expression uncharacteristically softens as he gazes at you, making you want to pull him close and kiss him again. Gentler, this time.
"This can't happen again," you force out your usual lie.
"That's what you said last time, princess."
Vhagar taglist: @kravitzwhore @litchifaerie @g-cf2020 @notsurewhattocallthisblog8888 @noxytopy @fan-goddess @m00n5t0n3 @diannnnsss @nsr-15 @the-awkward-barbie @rockstwrsz @yellowstonebaby @urdeftonesgrrrl @eddieslut69 @callsigncrushx @starwarsdinosaur @qweq-6802 @tulips2715 @joyismm @just-mj-or-not @crystal-siren @all-for-aemond @alokaaaaa @vhwyrm @purpleskiesandroses @technicallystrangereview @jjkysnk @inesdiary96 @weirdblob21 @lonelyladyghost @tssf-imagines @nurtargaryen @paula-lkr @queenofshinigamis @breezyjin @empfm @amanda08319 @unrealwinchester @optimizche @seamaiden @spoffyos @subliiminals @believeinthefireflies95 @ex0tic-vgh @anukulee @mrsmunson-harrington @romyfe06
#aemond targaryen#aemond targaryen x reader#aemond targaryen fanfiction#aemond targaryen imagine#aemond targaryen smut#hotd#house of the dragon#ewan mitchell#ewan mitchell x reader
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A little thing I think it's important to remember about Ed is that his healing journey didn't begin in s2.
I feel it's often framed that way, like s2 is when he really starts to heal from so many of the toxic ideas and stop forcing himself into such an exaggerated performance of masculinity. And that's true, in a way, but I think the best way to describe Ed's journey with healing himself is that it was interrupted.
Because I think we often don't give Ed enough credit for the work he put in during s1. Ivan and Fang remark on how he's the most "open and available" they've ever seen him. During s1e10, I think we often don't give him enough credit for really putting his money where his mouth is - when he said he wanted to just be Ed, he meant it, whether or not he had Stede by his side. And he tried, so fucking hard, dressing in a way he found comfortable and comforting and sharing his lyrics and being vulnerable, even when he visibly looks a little insecure at times. Before Izzy tore him down, he was doing really fucking great, and even after a breakup that was extremely confusing and hurtful. His arc in s2 is more about getting back to that place of healing and support and feeling safe in it.
There's just something so heartwrenchingly brave there, about this guy who has never felt safe to be himself, and he's just had Stede, his only real confidante and main source of support, leave him without a note, and he still tried anyway. He still tried to continue being vulnerable and living more authentically and reaching out to build a support system. And it very nearly worked!
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I really love this post.
Talking about the implicit harms and toxicity within this Era of Internet Fandom fucking bangs.
There are so many layers of non-indulgence on the part of fans that create this "death of the author" bubble where the themes are melted into the shape of varying crude enigmatic desires.
It's very bizarre the scale of how much of it potentially isn't just ignorance, but a choice to ignore implication too. A very harmful thought that seems to be able to come from all forms of identities & fandom is the idea "I need this".
I need them to be gay, (Fujo Territory, and Toxic BL or GL)
I need them to be white, (White)
I need them to be in pain,
(sensationalized feeling externalized via the art of a character without thought of the contextual reality of what the art may represent to others. [Drawing young characters being bloodied, centering ones venting around depicting a character of another race being tormented, or further brutalizing a character tastelessly.]
and so on.
This idea of needing these characters in these ways and these ways showing themselves to be in demand for a fair share of a fandom's population genuinely is several studies and conversations to be had.
I say this with the intention of not coming off as pessimistic, but I do wonder if there will ever be a time when mediums, and media placed in this category of digital entertainment will be something communally more mature on a broader scale as the people who care about what other generations have deemed as "time wasting" art become more important in facilitating the safe spaces and environments in which this art is discussed and held.
Digital Communal Responsibility. Stronger Social Contracts.
There are so many social issues to worry about before we can really even consider getting there, but I have hope in my heart we will somehow.
It's too easy to ignore the task of actually indulging the meaning of art. Such a growing form of stagnation is so dangerous.
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Thematic Questions
do you know what your reaction to the media you consume means within the reality of your identity as it intersects with others?
Where do you think an artist's artistic intent comes from?
did it come from a healthy or unhealthy place?
how might your headcanon relatively align or contradict the health state of their art?
does your headcanon come from a healthy or unhealthy place?
Is the way you indulge art amongst fandom and community healthy?
how & why?
This isn't a "put a shirt on" thing. Do your conclusions feel right to you? I can only ask that you explore that for yourself as your ideas surrounding art grow alongside you as a person.......
again SUPER good post from zzxid. They constructed such a good point in such a good way and I appreciate people who can use words like this.
I genuinely think Mouthwashing fandom is a good example on how real life misogyny is very wired on people brains and influenced how they engage with fictional misogyny.
You have a story about a woman being assaulted and telling a man he trusted but being dismissed because he is friends with the attacker, and people fixate on shipping her with either of those me.
You have a story about how men that downplay their male friends violence, assume neutrality is the safer option, unintentionally help create an environment that's unsafe to vulnerable people, at a risk becoming a victim themselves. And people make it about toxic yaoi.
You have a character kill herself because she didn't want birth the child of her abuser. And people make AUs where she happily keep the baby.
Misogyny isn't just "I hate this women", it's also downplaying their trauma, defending those who caused it, and reducing them to mothers or wives against their wished under this idea of what womanhood is about.
I don't think we can separate fandom misogyny from it's real world influence, not yet.
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STRESS
~850 words
>After long missions Ben is obviously stressed. What else can you do if not help him?
warnings/notes: smut, minors dni! oral (m receiving), female reader but there aren't many real descriptions other than calling reader a "heroine", no usage of y/n, no proofread I'm gonna die, ben is being canonically really rough, but there's just a bit of his softer side i wish was there in canon so maybe ooc, supe!reader, reader is a second captain of payback (like starlight in the third season but no parallels between starlight & homelander and reader & soldier boy)
REBLOGS WILL BE APPRECIATED!
It hadn't been a hard day, not even a hard week, it had been going on for a hell of a long time. Everyone was on edge, even Tessa and Tommy were exhausted, and if all those missions, he filming of that stupid movie Legend had insisted on, could exhaust the twins, whose energy had always burned like dynamite, pun intended, then obviously no one had any energy at all.
People deal with stress in different ways. Some people try to abstract themselves from society - that's what Mindstorm did, and something in you told him that if he missed one more training session, then as soon as his coat even looms in Soldier Boy's peripheral vision, Dan would be dead.
Some were trying to forget themselves in training, and some were trying to beat the crap out of them in training. And you, as co-captain of this incorrigible team, as a supe who still had some humanity left in her, it was unbearably painful to watch Ben take it out on the others. But not at you, of course. Of course not at you, you were fucking special.
For instance, you were special when you sat between his legs in the meeting room.
No, don't think anything terrible, Ben wasn't the kind of man who would force a woman to do something like that, after all, he may have been a bastard, a misogynist and...a lot of other bad things, but he was a real man of his time - or at least he thought he was. In his opinion, it was much more manly to get a woman to fall at his feet - in this case, literally.
No, it's just that after he almost smashed Black Noir's head on the table during today's meeting, you had no doubt that he could use some stress relief.
And who, if not the second captain of the Payback, America's No. 1 heroine, on a par with the Statue of Liberty, could help him, America's greatest hero, become even a little more forgiving? The answer was obvious: no one. Did you do it out of fear, Stockholm syndrome, or because the only humanity left in you somehow cherished the bastard? It wasn't that important. Not now, anyway.
Not when his big hand was clutching your hair, painfully pulling back and literally slamming your head into his lap again and again. His cock slammed into your throat with a sharp and tremendous pressure, and somewhere through the veil of your own pleasure in the process you could hear his absolutely animalistic growl. Well, knowing that you could bring him to such a primitive state fueled so much pride in your chest that you obviously grew bolder.
You could grip his shaft lightly with your teeth, which made your hair pull back especially hard, forcing you to let go of his length from your mouth. You only laughed, and Ben only feigned annoyance.
And just a few moments after that, he's back to exhaling your name gutturally, stretching the "r" sound especially hard when he says you're his "good girl". And soon enough, Ben's grip on your curls tightens, and he's moving your head at an unsteady pace in pursuit of his pleasure alone. You suppress your gag reflexes, because to your great surprise, not only he likes it, but you as well. You were definitely a masochist.
His growls, guttural moans, and sloppy grunts mingled with your whimpers and the wet slapping of your face against his heated skin. How strange was it that you were ready to cum now without even touching your needy slit with your fingertips, just from the feel of his huge length in your mouth? It was probably very strange, but you didn't have that thought in your head, or any other, God, Ben had literally fucked the shit out of your brain, because all your sick mind was thinking about was his voice, his face, his hands, just fucking him. Thrust, thrust, another thrust--
He stops abruptly, apparently not wanting to end it like this. Soldier Boy lets go of your hair, pats your head approvingly (a rare sign of tenderness on his part!) and then takes up the locks again to lift your face off his still-hard cock, glistening in a mixture of pre-ejaculate and your saliva. He grins smugly, taking your chin with his finger. Judging by the fact that he's even allowed himself that smirk, some of his stress is already gone. But this is not enough.
"Get up, love. And sit on the table," he growls, lifting you off your lap as you almost hit your head on the edge of the table, and Ben lowers himself to you, pressing his lips dangerously close to yours in a scalding kiss. His lips taste gross, a mixture of expensive whiskey, weed, and smoke, but you grasp the taste with your whole life line. But before you can even open your mouth to his tongue, Ben soon pulls away, biting your bottom lip.
"I'm not going to end this with you so easily."
a/n: of course know this man is huge asshole and i hate him with all of my heart but your honor he's played by jensen ackles so he can be pardoned. idk what was the last time i written smut tbh
#the boys#the boys x reader#the boys x you#soldier boy#soldier boy x reader#soldier boy x you#soldier boy x female reader#writers on tumblr#soldier boy smut#smutty smut smut#your honor im just a girl
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L: I told you to leave me alone
R: I know Sir, but I'm your advisor and I (unfortunately) have to supervise you too.
Raymond sighed as he read the papers in his hands while following Leshy.
L: Do you think I need your supervision? I was doing just fine before you arrived. I'll continue to do so. Leave
R: I can't. We still need to go over a lot of things, we're far behind schedule to discuss real matters which is urgent, I need you to sign the agreement of imported goods from Anchor Deep and the people in the neglected villages are revo-
L: Fine! How many!?
R: Pardon?
L: How many papers, Raymond?
Leshy turned to him with a momentarily anger. To him, Raymond was simply, yapping.
R: Uh, about... 1, 2, 3...
He began counting, sounds of the paper coming to Leshy's ear.
R: 86 papers, sir.
L: Well good luck to you with that. Just copy my signature.
R: Wait, me? Sir I can't just decide on the matters of the whole kingdom!
L: Aren't you my "advisor"? That's your thing, to decide.
R: Yes, I give advice! I don't rule over a kingdom!
L: Too bad so damn sad, I don't feel like listening you talk about dumb problems I won't be paying attention to anyway.
Leshy chuckled a bit and walked towards his work room. Raymond followed right behind, a bit panicked by the king's nonchalant decision. Leshy closed the door behind him, Raymond nearly making it inside.
R: You can't just ignore it! I promise it won't take long... Don't you care about your people? They are suffering! They are doing their best but barely surviving with what you let them have! Not only that, you've added taxes when I was gone!
L: My people are doing fine. You're worrying too much for something so lame, Ray. If I'm really that shitty of a king, go on. Fill my "so important" papers. And I thought you were smart enough to think that.
Raymond rubbed his temples after setting the papers aside. He took a deep breath. Leshy just sat one of the comfortable chairs and leaned back.
R: (God, I prefer hell over trying to convince this man child to do anything) It won't be long before everything breaks down to chaos if you continue to neglect your duties, sir.
L: ...
R: Maybe the other crowns were right about you after all...
Leshy immediately got up and turned towards Raymond.
L: What did those old bastards say about me?
R: Just the usual sir.
He smiled. Good thing Leshy was, well, blind.
R: That you were too young and naive to understand how a kingdom works. The red crown even said he was surprised that you haven't got hunted by your people.
L: That... Grim faced cat! You know what!? I rule my kingdom just fine! I'm the best king out there! They wish they were me! I can rule their kingdoms along with mine if I wanted!
R: Yes sir. You could...
L: Read me the damn papers Raymond! I'm gonna finish these papers faster than any of those living corpses!
R: (Works every time)
___________________________
It was night time when they were able to finish all those papers. Raymond had lit a candle long time ago to read better and Leshy seemed to listen.
R: This is the last paper... It's, it's over
L: Finally, for fuck's sake...
The worm yawned and leaned back. Raymond put the papers in order and set aside, before leaning back like his King.
R: Sir your profanity.
L: Ray I'm too tired to care.
R: You're right... I should be too tired to ask.
L: What's the time?
R: The moon is up by a hand. It's too late.
L: You don't say.
The advisor yawned and drank a glass of water. The King on the other hand rubbed where his eyes should be. It was rare but, sometimes, his eyes would bleed again, his wounds so easy to tear open. The cat panicked at the sight, immediately his tiredness vanishing by worry that overtook.
R: You're bleeding!
L: Don't-
Leshy hissed at him when Raymond tried to touch his face so he backed away. Raymond looked at the blood with sadness for his King.
R: Does it... Does it still hurt? Does it hurt bad?
He asked with a shakey voice as he reached for Leshy's face again. Surprisingly, the short tempered king didn't pull back the second time. He leaned to the touch, to the feeling. Raymond's palm got bloodied as he wiped it.
L:Not anymore. Not like the way it used to...
R: It's good... I think. Is it just pitch black..?
L: People assume so. But no. My vision is my thoughts. I can see just, not in the way you'd expect
R: How so? How can you just- See?
The King chuckled at the advisor's weirded out question.
L: I already know what something looks like. I know colors, I know shapes, I know sounds, the materials, the feelings. And, if you know it like I do, it feels like your whole imagination is your sight.
R: That's... Not as bad as I thought
L: You think about going blind?
R: No, heh, of course not... I think about, how hard it must be for you.
L: You think about me? Now that just makes me shy~
R: My King-
Raymond gave a tired and short giggle as he blushed. Even though he hated his job, he didn't hate the worm necessarily.
L: What? Can I not be curious about why you think about me Ray?
R: With all due respect, that's not the point, sir. I work for you, it's natural that I worry for the one I'm working so close with.
L: And somehow I'm someone you must worry for? The levels you bring me down to.
R: You make it sound like everything is just fine! Is there really nothing bad about being blind?
L: There are bad sides of it of course
R: Like what?
Leshy smiled, putting his hands on top of Raymond's.
L: Knowing I'll never actually see you
AU8WUW8UQOAPAAJUDJDAAAAAAAASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
HELLO???? THIS IS SO GOOD?!?!?!?!?! How dare you send me this awsome gift as an anon 😭😭😭 Thank you so much omg I didnt think such a simple drawing would inspire someone to write something like this!
THANK YOU ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
#ask#royal au ask#leshycat#leshy x yellow cat#not my writings but i dont want to lose this so#writings
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Streamer AU 7
Streamer AU 6 <-
Dearly Beloved plays
Weiss:Oh wow, this sounds nice.
Blake:You’re going to be saying that a lot.
Weiss:I absolutely believe it. Also can we discuss why this menu had multiple games.
Jaune:One hurdle at a time. We just need to focus on one.
Yang:Now I know you said no backseating, but you will be a coward if you don’t pick the hardest difficulty.
Ruby:Oh! We should have a death counter!
Weiss:Chat, you see how they want me to suffer?
“Do it!”
“It’s not that hard”
“No balls!”
“Godspeed”
“5 subs if you do”
Weiss:Don’t try and bribe me!
Blake:Weiss, as someone whose played this game way too many times to count, you can handle proud mode.
Jaune:This game might be easier for you than FFX. It’s not turned based, but it’s also not as evil.
Weiss:…I want those gift subs you promised. *hits Proud Mode*
Yang:Peer Pressure wins again!
“I’ve been having these weird thoughts lately…”
Ruby and Blake:Eeehehe~
Weiss:The game just started, shush!
The curious girl pays attention to the words, not looking at chat or even how Jaune himself is rather giddy. Clearly this game means a lot to them. Still, to be this excited so quickly when nothing has-
“🎶Oh~🎶”
The music came out swinging as the screen lit up with visuals. Suddenly, Weiss’s eyes lit up.
Weiss:Oh I might like this song already.
“🎶You’re giving me~ to many things, lately🎶”
Weiss:Oh fuck…
xxxxx
The opening ends and Weiss is left with her hands in front of her mouth as she tries to rationalize what she just experienced.
Ruby:Ah yes, the face of someone processing greatness.
Weiss:Listen, I’m so torn right now. That sounded fun. I kinda want to grab my keyboard and see if I can play the melody but that derail everything.
Yang:Weiss if you start doing that now, I promise you that it will happen for every track.
Weiss:Fiiiine. I will play the video game.
Photo Bunny gifted 5 subs
Jaune:Thank you Velvet. And just like that, your 100 sub goal is met.
Yang:Aye! Now she has to dress like a character from something she’s played, right? I vote Chica!
Weiss:Denied.
Blake:I’m sure she already has plans.
Weiss:Umm, should I be concerned about what I pick and give up?
Jaune:Would it stop you from picking the staff?
Weiss:*smiles* Probably not.
Jaune:Heh, then go ahead and pick it. It’s your play through.
Yang:Even in a game, you stick to your core.
Weiss:*gives up sword*
Yang:Or maybe not. Colored me surprised.
Weiss:You made me pick the hardest difficulty. I’m not giving up a shield.
Yang:Chat, she’s using critical thinking. It’s all over.
Ruby:We’re you trying to put her on the hardest path!?
Jaune:That’s actually evil.
Yang:Weiss is a big girl. She beat a Resident Evil game. This should be easy for her.
Weiss:This is why Jaune is my co-host and not you.
xxxxxx
Boy: What are you afraid of?
Weiss:….*squints*
Jaune:*smiling* What’s up?
Weiss turns the camera around to see a aburn haired boy with a very distinct choice of clothes.
Weiss:That’s Wakka! Is- Tidus!?
Jaune:Yes that’s your favorite boys
Weiss:Yaaaaay! Okay, this game is cool. Wait, who’s the girl?
Blake and Ruby:Nobody important.
Jaune:Ren is going to kill you both.
Lotus Chef: “SHE’S IMPORTANT TO ME!”
Ruby:Ren, I need you to pick better Final Fantasy characters.
Lotus Chef: “Says the Hope fan girl”
Ruby:Nora, get your man.
Weiss: “My journey begins at midday” wait, this changes things too?
Jaune:It’s your leveling curve basically. You’ll have steady growth the whole game.
Weiss:I can live with that. Yang on the other hand…
Yang:Oh I already knew your choices were gonna be. My interference stopped after you didn’t get rid of the shield. You’ll probably beat this game in four streams without much trouble.
Weiss:You almost sound disappointed.
Yang:There’s a boss I had to help Ruby with years ago. I just wanted to bond over hating it with you but it probably won’t happen now!
xxxxxxx
Weiss:I’ve known Riku for five minutes and I already don’t like him.
Blake:Please don’t slander my son.
Yang:You’d like him if he hated his dad.
Weiss:Correct. I’m biased, and will continue to be so. Tidus starting a journey to say his dad sucks is amazing. In case nobody has gotten it yet, he’s the costume I’m picking.
“Complete with no undershirt?”
Jaune:*casually times user out*
Weiss:Pfft-
Jaune:What?
Weiss:Nothing~ Just listening to the music. Man, this kid has big shoes.
Ruby:He’s supposed to resemble traits of Mickey Mouse.
Weiss:Oh yeah, so is anyone going to explain why this game had Donald Duck and Goofy on the cover?
Everyone:….
Weiss:Alright, fair enough I guess.
Yang:Enjoy the whimsy. Did you see a lot Disney growing up?
Weiss:My recitals when I was little were a few songs.
Jaune:That’s kinda adorable.
Weiss:Until the tunes get stuck in your head. Speaking of which, I can’t ignore this. Jaune, if you would?
She points over to her bed since he’s closest. He grabs her keyboard and hands it over to her. Weiss presses a few keys slowly, trying to guess the correct notes before suddenly playing the Destiny Island theme
Yang:Damn. Why are you huntress!?
Weiss:Music doesn’t pay bills often enough. This melody reminds me of a commercial I did for sunblock .
xxxxxxx
Sora and Kairi: *watching the sunset*
Weiss:…I think I’m going to like this game.
Blake:One of us. One of us.
Big Bags & Miniguns: “Sora’s shorts are killing me inside.”
Weiss:I’m focusing on the half jacket.
Jaune:I like that it has a hood.
Weiss:Gee, I wonder why you like it.
“Kairi cosplay when?”
Weiss:Give that to Ruby.
Ruby:Bet. I already have the hair! You have to be Donald.
Weiss:As i- why is it dark and stormy night?
xxxxxxxx
Weiss:Ya see, I knew Riku was bitch. He’s mad I beat him.
Blake:Play the game!
Weiss:Hahaha!
Jaune:Chat this going to be a fun stream.
#streamer au#rwby#jaune arc#ruby rose#weiss schnee#yang xiao long#blake belladonna#lie ren#coco adel#velvet scarlatina#kingom hearts#rwby whiteknight#rwby au
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I think I've gotten to the point where I'm just gonna not interact with or even block blogs that post v/3 fan art while aggressively and needlessly harping on it in the caption
#shut up me#Ive been in this fandom for like. 3 long years. At some point it starts to get a bit old#its New to Them which is fair and obviously its valid & important to talk about criticisms of the game#but I just find this specific genre of fan post bewildering#*beautiful fan art of a v/3 character* yeah so this game is absolute dogshit and the writers botched [X]'s character arc with no positives.#if you like this game fuck you dont interact with me (tagged using all main character and game tags)#like. um#I totally understand not liking it I think that is beyond valid in so many ways#but I just find it exhausting seeing it attached to every newbie's first dr post yknow#I can take self deprecation (it still sucks. let yourself enjoy things with nuance. its ok)#but complete aggression and pushing away the people who would like your fan art the most? I'm just confused. and tired of it#Please talk about your criticisms of the game. but why on a completely innocuous piece of fan art? that you are maintagging?#its also just basic fandom etiquette#cmon now. that is all
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Flashback. (Aizawa x Reader)
C/n: erm hi. Ehe.
——————————————————————————
Teaching was something you never considered a job. It was a honor to teach future generations and then see them use that knowledge to do good in the world. And that was exactly what you were doing now.
“So, you see? Physics is important when using your quirk. You can’t just go out there and do what you want. You need critical thinking and judgement before using it.” You say and lean on your teachers table. “Any q’s?”
The class shakes their heads and you smile. “Alright. Go to your last activity in your textbooks and read over the next section and attempt the questions.” The bell rings and the class begins to pack up. “That’s your homework.” Your class leaves and you sit in your chair when a student comes up to you. “Ma’am, are you okay?” She asks and you tilt your head. “I am, why?”
“Oh, it’s just because of your bruise.” She points to her neck showing you where it was and you quickly cover it with your hand. “Oh! Haha, yeah. Hair straightener.” You say, trying it let the nerves take over your voice and the girl smiles. “I know all about that. Aloe Vera helps with it. See you tomorrow.” She bids you goodbye as you walk her to the door. You close it before leaning against it. “Fuck.” You whisper and close your eyes.
~~~~
Your moans were like honey to his ears as fingers danced in you. He has you against his bedroom wall, his skin bare as yours as he toys with you. Your hands around his shoulders, gripping on them as you feel yourself reaching your point. His lips move to your neck, sucking and biting before pulling away and admiring his work.
~~~~
You groan as you open your eyes and make your way back to your desk. Thank god you had no class right now. You don’t how you’d ever concentrate. “Relax, Y/n. Relax.” You breathe in and out to calm your libido before diving your head into your next class prep. As your mind began to focus on your work, a knock is sounded on your door. “Come in.”
The man your mind was occupied with enters and greets you.
“I have some things I need you to double check.” He says and you take the papers from his hands. Yours come into contact with his and you look at the papers. “Oh, the kids’ tests. All looks good.” You say and look at him. He was staring intently, watching you work. “There’s more coming later today. Gonna need an extra hand with it.”
You bite your lip and nod. “Okay, my place or yours?” The question was asked so many times, normally and with his lips right by your ear. “Mine.” Is all he says before he leaves. Sighing, you lean back into your chair and cover your face with your hands.
~~~~
His hands move up from your waist to your bare neck, gently squeezing it. His large fingers wrapped around it making you softly gasp. “Sho.” You whispered as he thrusted deep into you, his face next to yours as his lips trailed by your ear. “Say it again. Say my name again.”
~~~~
“Sho.” You called and he looks at you with a hum before eyeing you page. “What is it?”
“This question. Doesn’t make sense. The kids won’t get it.” You mumble as you circled it with a red pen and looked at him. He reads it over and shit, it really didn’t make sense. “Oh. Good eye.” Is all he says before going on his computer and retyping the question. He could feel your eyes on him and your close proximity was driving him insane but he behaved and you both returned to doing your work in silence.
~~~~
Your hands were in his hair as you pulled it his head closer in between your legs. He loved your hands in his hair and he groaned as he complied to your silent request for more.
~~~~
Aizawa tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear as he looked over his class as they began to write. Arms crossed and leaning again his desk, he looked around at the kids then outside where he saw you walking out of your class, phone in hand before looking up and catching his eye. You smiled and gave him a wave and he swallowed. He wanted to wave back but his kids..the test..they’d see. He looked at the students before quietly walking to the door and stepping out for a second, beckoning you over.
You walked to him and stood behind the wall besides the door where the kids couldn’t see and looked up at him. “What’s up?”
“Come over tonight.”
You widened your eyes and looked around to see if anyone heard and thank god, no one was in the hallway. It wasn’t like him to just say things like this, especially at school. You looked back at him and nodded. “Alright. 8 okay?”
“6.”
You couldn’t help but chuckle softly at him and nodded. “6 it is. See you then.” You whispered before turning and walking backwards to go to the staff room. Aizawa watched you turned around, his eyes trailing down to your ass and walk off and he groaned softly before heading back to invigilate.
~~~~
His hands kneaded the plush cheeks of your ass as he pounded into you and watched the way your back arched and muscles contracted under your skin. His torso was covered in a thin layer of sweat as he thrusted into your sweet cunt. “Fuck.” He groaned before slapping your ass hard and leaning down to press his chest to your back. His hand moved your hair before kissing and nipping your neck as he whispered. “Feel so good, sweetheart. So fucking good.” You could only moan in response as he moved deeper into you.
~~~~
Your legs were resting on his as you both sat on his couch, him reading and you watching TV. His hands involuntarily moved to your shin as he squeezed it, making you smile as your eyes remained on the movie that was playing. You slowly shifted your thighs together before looking at him, who was still engrossed in your book.
“Hey.” You nudged his book making it move and he looked at you. “Yeah?” You smiled before laying your head on the sofa and looked at his face. “Nothing.” He rolled his eyes before turning his attention back at his book, his fingers trailing on your shin, gently and softly. He couldn’t help the smirk that formed when he felt the goose flesh form on your skin when he trailed them higher. He felt your thighs slowly open and in an instant, his book was on the table and he was in between them, his lips kissing and biting your inner thighs while looking at you, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip as your chest heaved under your tank top.
“Damn tease.”
——————————————————————————
“Hey kids. How you been?”
🖤🖤Thanks for reading🖤🖤
-Caddy.
#aizawa x y/n#aizawa fanfiction#my hero academia aizawa#aizawa smut#boku no hero academia aizawa#aizawa x reader#aizawa shōta#aizawa shouta#bnha aizawa#mha aizawa#aizawa shota x reader#shota aizawa#bnha shouta aizawa#shouta aizawa x reader#my hero academia x reader
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Therapy Files 1: Dead Enough to be Alive
Screenshot Credit: @neverscreens
Summary: Carmy is headed to his first therapy appointment and his girlfriend (who he calls Darling) tries to soothe him while he freaks out about it. (873 Words)
Warnings: Swearing, mention of vomit, passive suicidal thoughts, impending mental breakdown (no breakdown in this one), fem reader/generic lass who is a trauma surgeon, she/her pronouns.
Notes: Thank you for reading and sharing! Sideblog for social stuff: @m-z-shoroi. If you want to filter out the therapy posts, the tag is #cb therapy files.
Day 1
I almost threw up the day of therapy.
It's funny how al-anon meetings didn't fuck me up this bad. Being a no-face in a room full of faceless sufferers somehow made it easier to summon and examine the pain of Mikey dying, of cooking consuming every aspect of my being until all that was left was this chewed lump of mangled muscle and bone fighting for some form of continued existence. I could rip it from my chest, hold it in my hand, turn it in the light. Look at all the faces, the thin spots, the gouges, the dents. Half the people there weren’t listening to me at all, were lost in the turmoil of their own pain and suffering, of the loved ones that were too far away to reach or so unreachable that they were gone. I didn’t mind it.
Half the time, I just needed to hear what I had to say, anyway. Something about the words coming out of my mouth, as stuttered, incomplete, inadequate as they were; something about hearing my own voice say them to me, of my voice hitting my ears—that was the important part. I’ve been through hell and back, I understand clearer than anyone else that I’m the most powerful climber I know. I don’t need someone to grab my hand and pull me out of this mess; I just need someone to know that I’m here. I need someone to witness my existence, my pain, my misery. I just need someone to come looking for me if I go quiet for too long. Just a face over the edge of the cliff. They don’t need to say nothing. They just need to exist.
I’m just dead enough to be alive at all, and in a room full of ghosts, that’s an easier thing to reconcile than trying to explain that to a fucking therapist (who’ll probably put me on some sort of watch list after probing me with a thousand questions about whether or not I want to die, how I plan to do it, how much of my plan I’ve enacted). I shouldn’t be pissed. It’s their job. Fuck only knows how many times they’ve had their 3:00 not show up only to find out the next day that their 3:00 would never show up for anything again. But how else do I explain these brambles of mortality, this barbed wire anchored in my skin. I can’t escape death.
He owes me a brother.
He owes me some fucking answers.
Darling's hand landed on my thigh. "Baby, you're going to crack your knees on the dashboard if you don't stop bouncing your leg like that."
And I'm fucking terrified of therapy.
"Why are you terrified, sweetheart?"
Shit, I said that aloud, didn't I? "I just... I don't know." I raked my hair back. "I don't know."
"It's a little too late to cancel the appointment now—"
"I know, I know, I know." I pressed the heels of my hands into my cheekbones. I know. I’m not saying I’m not going to go; I’m saying I’m terrified. Those are different things.
She squeezed my knee. "Breathe, pretty boy."
I heaved a breath.
"You're gonna be okay, baby.”
"What if I'm not?"
It took her a bit to answer. "Then we'll do what we can to make it okay."
She can’t make promises, but right about now I need some of those. Promise me I’ll be okay? Promise me it’s not as bad as it seems?
The car turned, then stopped. Her cold fingers curled around my wrist.
"Hey. Look at me, Bear?"
I dropped my hands, but I couldn't make myself look over. Don't know why; it probably would've calmed me down to see her pretty face, but my eyes stayed glued to the hood of the car parked in front of us, the icicles hanging in front of the grill. Teeth. Fuck, I was clenching my jaw again. Heat surged in my chest, crawled up into my neck, only this time, the panic didn’t come with it—my eyes just stung. I only felt a breakdown coming.
She interlocked her hand with mine, brought the back of it to her warm lips. Pressed a kiss to it, just to the side, behind my thumb. She returned it with a plum-pink lipstick print on it. Jagged, sharp, blurred edges, but distinctly hers.
"Do you think that'll help?" She whispered, carding through my curls, tucking them behind my ear.
I’m trying not to have a meltdown, baby girl, I’m useless.
She pulled my shirt collar down and planted another one on my sternum, just below where the neckline would be. It bloomed a wave of coolness in my chest. A comfortable cold. This wasn’t ice against my chest; ice is sharp, jagged, a frozen lightning bolt. The kiss was milder, softer. Diffuse.
She replaced my shirt, pecked my mouth. “How about that one?”
How about you give me another one after this fucking appointment, hm?
Tags: @jess248, @catharticconsolation, @persymons, @morgthemagpie, @glitch0o0, @nox-is-thename @forgechildofheph @leminjelly
#cb journal#cb therapy files#carmy x reader#carmen berzatto#carmen berzatto fanfiction#carmy berzatto#the bear fanfiction#carmy berzatto fanfiction#the bear#carmen berzatto fluff#carmy berzatto x reader#carmen berzatto x reader
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Speaking as a white person... No, people of colour and wanting to be listened to, believed, valued, consulted, and protected in the countries they live in, and are citizens of(I'm Canadian, but I feel like it's all still Very applicable) -daaaaring to be any kind of vocal about how that doesn't happen and how they are, you know, VERY UNDERSTANDABLY not fucking happy about that are NOT the problem
To feel so comfortable saying so just demonstrates how far up your own clearly racist ass you are, no one who wasn't would double down and reiterate that astoundingly wrong opinion again but with more words
And "zero concrete examples"?? You've got some effective fucking blinders on if you can say that and believe it but think that white people's love of moving the goal posts for, and pseudo-intellectualizing away concerns, struggles and very real dangers to REAL PEOPLE who just aren't you/us isn't a very real and hugely documented, and far-reaching problem you're literally just stupid
There is no other way you can look at or hear people sharing their perspective on their own fucking lives and what is important to them as a person who is *specifically* not white and is not interested - and nor should they be - in being told to shut up, keep waiting 'their turn', quiet down, that their extremely valid and NECESSARY voices and experiences get summarily dismissed as "inane" because white people just can't fucking stop deciding that every single discussion about how white people and whiteness have done and continue to do SO much damage is about them specifically and personally that they at "best" allow their discomfort to not only often ignore objective facts about how AT THE VERY LEAST the vast majority of white people and peoples have historically been Very Shitty Indeed to peoples of colour, even people they just think of as 'not as good a white as us *insert north, western, or central European nations especially here*' but also to override or bypass sympathy, empathy, compassion or even willingness to fucking listen to them about their lives to the point that we white people shut anything not complimentary to us down. We are so fucking fragile that we can't seem to fucking get that not everything is about us, for us, concern us, have to include us and it fucking shouldn't have to. Especially when all we seem interested in is having access to any and all spaces so that we can pretend that "no, everyone else is actually wrong about things they-as a group have all professed to have experienced".
Like... Seemingly one of our favourite fucking things to do is brag about supposedly having friends of different ethnicities and cultures to anyone who will listen, so why do so many of us not fucking listen to them??? Why do so many of us then also not care or believe those friends?? Try to help? Aren't they your friends, OUR friends?? Even if it's a hard pill to swallow, why do so many of us white people actively stand in the way of supporting things that will help our friends, partners, family, coworkers(not to mention children, whether connected to you as an individual or not)?? If our friends and loved ones, wider communities are helped, provided for, listened to does that not also benefit us needy white people too by extension of being in the same potentially improving society that doesn't continue to waste so much fucking time and energy on keeping entire peoples down because white people are either insecurity and hate.
White people have been the "not all men" people who get mad when sexual harassment comes up; and yeah, most people know and believe that but that(usually unnecessary) distinction ultimately is diminishing, dismissing and ignoring the point of the matter which is that the generalized statement and belief that "men do sexual harassment" is because so many people have had those kinds of unpleasant interactions or experience, often repeatedly. Even if they were not talking about you specifically, and you've never done anything misogynistic or worse THEY have enough negative experiences with other men that that statement is true to them even if you find it hard to believe.
White people do that whenever anyone says anything about how we have in the past, but also continue to treat people of colour like shit. Like yeah, no shit not all white people are feral racists, just like not all men are creeps... But I dunno if enough people are saying that "more than a few(separate, unrelated, individual) white people have said/done/legislated negative things to and against me" maybe we should fucking SHUUUUT UUUUUP and believe them?? acknowledge that even if we, as individual white people have never knowingly or intentionally been racist there is still clearly A PROBLEM because we keep being told it is a problem.
So yeah, it's very much white people that have held us all back, even the progressive ones because we cant get out of our own way. And when soooo many of us demonstrably have been unable(or unwilling) to even recognize that, let alone do anything to change it it fucking ruins lives in a very real way and if you can't see that...you yourself are part of the problem with white leftists and progressives
**as a white person, and an untagged-by-OP one at that, I totally understand if you'd prefer I remove my addition to your post, in which case I absolutely will 🖤
Every white leftist should read this
#holy shit this gave me The Rages#ive been typing my rant for literal hours because i couldnt even think coherently#i want to rip something with my teeth now
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no, y'know what? as much as Josh's conversation with Buck in e6 was important, and he made some good points, I take strong issue with the qualifiers of "pre-Glee" and "post-Glee" world. that is the most insane thing to use as an indicator of queer acceptance, and at it's core, it's Ryan Murphy giving himself way too much credit.
and even if we look at it from outside the meta and from a character perspective, it's stupid! like, sure, I can understand that Josh was probably going for a more light hearted thing to use as an indicator, but Glee is so irrelevant in this scenario, especially when you consider that we're talking about Tommy in this specific context.
we know that right before season 1 takes place Tommy was only just starting to accept himself. we know right before season 1 he just ended his years long relationship with Abby. we also know that the seasons take place roughly at the time of premiere, so season 1 is set in 2018. that is already 3 years "post Glee"—even more if we go from initial release date—so this qualifier is already incredibly irrelevant to Tommy's story and the point Josh was trying to make. Not only that, but we know Tommy is around Abby's age! Meaning he was never part of the target audience for Glee and neither were his peers. Glee did absolutely jack shit for his journey to self or peer acceptance.
you know what is relevant to Tommy's journey? The repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Y'know what probably actually helped kick him into self acceptance? The nationwide legalization of gay marriage that happened less than 3 years before season 1.
the issue I have is we know, we know, that Tommy is around Abby's age, meaning he was born in the mid to late 70s and he grew up watching the AIDS epidemic happen. he grew up during that time in our history, when we were ostracized and dying by the hundreds. to boil down the lives and experiences of queer elders, which is what Tommy would be were he real, into "pre-Glee" and "post-Glee" is just so,,, disgusting to me. there's a dozen other notable events and indicators of our acceptance, and to choose Glee of all things is not only a slap in the face, but so fucking egotistical of Ryan Murphy.
I understand that Glee was a phenomenon and that it did help queer acceptance to a certain degree, but using it in this context, where it's so wholly irrelevant to the characters involved and feels like it was only used to stroke the ego of Ryan Murphy? I don't know! I just think they should've used something else, something more relevant, like, oh I don't know, the Obama administration legalizing gay marriage! they could've easily used "pre-obama" and "post-obama" and it would've suited the situation better, and actually been relevant to all characters involved!
I just really have a bone to pick with so many things in that episode in regards to 911's queer characters, but I think this is the one that really pisses me off.
#its like 4am and i havent slept so if this is making no sense please dont blame me i tried my best#basically#fuck ryan murphy#911 meta#911 abc#911 spoilers#911#evan buckley#josh russo#tommy kinard#bucktommy#abby clark#evan buck buckely#911 season 8#911 s8 e6#911 s8e6#my.txt#me.txt#my meta#glee
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On Mouthwashing, Qijiu, cruel characters, and the role of discomfort in blorbo analysis.
I recently watched a playthrough and some video essays about the indie horror game Mouthwashing (spoilers ahead). For those not familiar, the game follows a man named Jimmy in a crashed spaceship where he reveals himself to be an unreliable narrator and fucked up in a variety of ways as the game progresses.
Although I’m not immersed in the fandom and thus have a limited sample size, I noticed that people treat him as nearly inhuman. He’s the sole bad actor, a terrible monster destined to hurt everyone. I find this deeply ironic considering the game’s themes of responsibility and accountability: isn’t this kind of dehumanization absolving him of his responsibility to act decently?
It’s also strange to me, because the game goes at lengths to show Jimmy has an enabler. Captain Curly is Jimmy’s friend and boss who is made aware of Jimmy’s erratic and violent behavior multiple times, chooses to do nothing, and ultimately makes possible many deaths through his inaction. Aside from Jimmy’s public outbursts, there are even scenes with a specific member of their crew expressing how unsafe she feels around Jimmy. Despite this, a decent portion of the fandom sees Curly as nothing more than one of Jimmy’s victims, which is curious to me when placed in contrast with Yue Qingyuan and Shen Jiu.
Yeah yeah I’m blorbo-brained, but I think there’s a lot of points for comparison between Qijiu and Jimmy & Curly, at least in terms of their dynamic and social roles. Jimmy and Shen Jiu are both antisocial assholes with an unhealthy fixation on the generally well liked and affable guy just above them on the totem poll. They’re both convinced their superior is looking down on them, and resent the power he has (SJ less so, he has a lot of other reasons to resent YQY). They both use what power they do have to abuse those below them. Curly and YQY, for their parts, are shown to be explicitly aware of most if not all of their friend’s worrying/dangerous behavior, but do nothing meaningful to stop it.
If they’re so similar, then why in the case of Mouthwashing is Curly often absolved of his complicity in the face of Jimmy’s overwhelmingly awful actions, whereas in the Scum Villain fandom, it’s just as common to see people pin all of SJ’s actions on YQY and vice versa?
Now, there’s a couple obvious reasons for this. For one, Mouthwashing is a horror game and Jimmy very effectively makes himself the antagonist, which lends itself to the interpretation of him as a the monster afflicting the other characters. For another, Jimmy sexually abused a shipmate, which is a particularly despicable crime (although so, I would argue, is child abuse). There’s also the fact that Curly is very physically robbed of agency for most of the game’s runtime, which might make it harder to see his power and agency before that point, but perhaps the most important difference is that to fans, Jimmy is deeply unlikable, and Shen Jiu is not.
Personally, I think the reason a lot of people make Jimmy out to be a monster and Shen Jiu to be tragically misunderstood is simple: it can be uncomfortable to like a bad person.
I don’t think there should be any shame in liking characters who are fucked up people that do horrible things, but I think it chafes at some sensibility within many of us, learned or innate, when we feel such deep emotional connection to a character who’s actions we would normally morally condemn.
I’ve definitely observed that in some parts of the Shen Jiu fandom– it's the kind of sentiment that leads to discounting his canonical actions in favor of fanon. I’ve never found those fanons very compelling because I have never had any discomfort with Shen Jiu’s canonical actions— in fact, him being a despicable if pitiable mess is what drew me to him (I’m typically quite the fucked-up-evil-guy liker). For once, though, I find myself on the other side of this discomfort with Yue Qingyuan.
I was thinking today about how one of the earliest things YQY says to SY!SQQ— his 9th line in the novel— was telling SQQ that LBH is strung up in the woodshed, where SQQ always leaves him after beating him. It implies not just that YQY knows about this singular punishment, but that this is an extended pattern of behavior. To me, YQY seems uncomfortable with the situation, but he does nothing to stop LBH from being abused aside from telling SQQ to “be less hard on him”, even though he’s the only person in the sect above SQQ, and potentially the only one with the authority to stop him.
If Yue Qingyuan knew, did Luo Binghe know the sect leader had found out? Did Luo Binghe know he had been abandoned to his fate?
Like Curly, I think that Yue Qingyuan’s most unforgivable fault as a character was enabling Shen Jiu’s abuse of Luo Binghe and potentially other disciples. I think YQY’s motivations made sense, and I understand the choices he made, but when I think about it for too long I can feel a deep pit in my stomach grow.
Why does YQY’s arguably lesser crime of enabling SJ bother me so much more than SJ’s own direct actions? Perhaps because I still want to see Yue Qingyuan as a good person, whereas Shen Jiu has already declared himself evil. Maybe I’ve been a little bit caught up in our unreliable narrator’s point of view.
Fascinatingly, despite his adoration for Luo Binghe, Shen Yuan cum Shen Qingqiu never (to my recollection at least), blames Yue Qingyuan for SJ’s actions. Instead, he sees YQY as one of SJ’s victims— someone that SJ as good as killed, even if it was LBH’s orders that loosed the arrows.
Shen Qingqiu has a tendency to, for lack of a better term, woobify his favs, and although LBH is by far the most frequent recipient of this treatment, I’d argue that YQY actually receives it more consistently. This is partially because he’s relegated to friendly NPC whereas poor Binghe is the Big Scary Protagonist, but the only time in the whole novel I can think of SQQ seeing YQY as a person capable of harm and fucking up is after YQY’s confession where SQQ puts it together with SJ’s flashbacks, but even then, SQQ sees him more as a cautionary tale for him and Binghe than someone who’s hurt others. Given this narrative bias, I’m honestly surprised* that more of the fandom isn’t simping for YQY too.
Ultimately, I think this discomfort is normal and worthwhile– something to lean into rather than away from. I’d even say it's necessary, should we ever hope to be more media literate than Peerless Cucumber.
*well, I’m not, but that’s a whole piece of fandom history better left untouched
#this one is real stream of consciousness lol#svsss#shen jiu#yue qingyuan#qijiu#mouthwashing spoilers#fish meta#fish rambles
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Listen I really get focusing on the gay part of arcane but yall know the show is about more than that, right???? Can we talk about the. Um. War????
I truly do get making memes about this shit but can we also discuss the deeply political nature of the show and how it depicts a cycle of war and loss in what is one of the most nuanced ways ive ever seen from a piece of media??
Like. I don't really have a choice to view this as something detached from my life. I know yall hate jews so you aren't going to actually make the same association as me unless it erases the nuances of the show about depicts all the people of piltover as evil blood drinking monsters and justify all the actions of every single person in the undercity. But caits transformation is so much more than a fucking meme to me. Ive actually seen so many people go through the same thing- people who lost their parents or friends or family in a terrorist attack and were manipulated into hateful radicalism by politicians who use their grief as a way to stay in power. People who had hate and prejudice and fucking MILITARISM become the most important thing to to them after losing someone. But ive also seen people like vi, that chose to be better than that. And ive seen how the world crushes them, how stupid and naive they are made to feel for having any hope or believing that some people are good.
This show is depicting such a deeply REAL and painful reality. Please don't ignore that.
On thd other hand it might be best that youre ignoring it bc yall really hate jews and have no tolerance for nuance so people are absolutely going to have fucking stupid takes about this show.
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Have any Random HCs about… LIs in omegaverse? 👀
I love omegaverse so fucking much, I did one about their scents a little while ago
It's been so long since I've read anything omegaverse so I had to do some research to refresh my mind
Whitney
either an alpha or an omega
gives you a courting gift when he declares you his partner
always leaving marks
very territorial about you
rough ruts
so annoying with scenting everything and just being overpowering with his scent in general
Kylar
either an alpha or an omega
gives you so many courting gifts but never actually asks to court you, in his head you already are dating
scratches a lot at his scent glands
Obsessively scents you
(omega) doesn't know how to properly nest
(omega) worships you
rough ruts/heats
Robin
an omega or beta
very traditional and goes through the whole courting ritual
longer than usual heats
very sensitive to scents
P!Sydney
either an alpha or a beta
also very traditional when it comes to courting
give you a piece of clothing or something that he's scented. He rescents it when his smell fades
takes blockers so he doesn't really have ruts
C!Sydney
an alpha
his ruts are intense
he loves to scent you
likes to leave marks
Alex
a beta
doesn't really care for the whole courting thing but if it's important to you he'll do it
sensitive to scents
Avery
an omega but hides it (might make you sign a nda)
uses so many scent blockers and heat blockers
he hates courting
Eden
an alpha
his ruts are intense but short
loves to leave marks
territorial about you
isn't crazy about scenting but he does scent you
#tw omegaverse#tw a/b/o#asks#dol#dol whitney#whitney the bully#dol kylar#kylar the loner#dol robin#robin the orphan#dol sydney#sydney the faithful#sydney the fallen#dol alex#alex the farmer#alex the farmhand#dol avery#avery the businessperson#dol eden#eden the hunter#degrees of lewdity#madison's headcanons
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