#it is so fucking important to so many things
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kento nanami is an anniversary man. nsfw
you think it's sweet, how he has the date of big events in his life on memory. when it's a loss, he'll take the day off to remember, with his head in your lap as he tells stories of whomever has passed. you listen intently, ask questions about them and watch as your husband recounts every good thing about a person.
he celebrates the good, too. almost excessively. the date you met is circled on the calendar, and kento will wake you up with breakfast in bed and a day of doting to show you just how important this anniversary is to him. you turned his world upside down in the best of ways, and what kind of man is he if not one to celebrate the light in his life?
of course, your wedding anniversary too. it's the one he goes all out for: more often than not you put a weekend aside to take a trip and spend some uninterrupted time together. you'll act as newlyweds again, because you still feel like newlyweds despite the passing years, and you'll be reminded over and over just how lucky you are to have found your soulmate in a man like kento nanami.
a man who is sentimental, and so very in love with you. and also celebrates the first time you had sex.
that first year, he had spent the day doting on you so profusely that you were convinced he was going to propose. he was pulling out all of the stops, taking you out fopr an expensive meal, dosing you with fine wines and so many kisses you could get drunk off the taste of him alone. he took you home, ran you a scented bath and took care of the house while you relaxed.
and of course the night ended in mind blowing sex—as your nights usually do. he had insisted on fucking you in missionary despite his recent penchant for taking you from behind and, once he has ripped two orgasms from you and was working on your third, he let it slip.
“we made love for the first time a year ago today,” he whispers against your lips, cock pulsing inside of you as he reaches deep inside of you. “just like this—looking into each others eyes, three orgasms from you, two from me. fell in love with you that night, do you know that honey?”
“you kept track of the day?” you cant finish your sentence without a moan breaking from your throat. “kento, you’re something else.”
“of course i did. it’s an important date, reaching such intimacies—feeling these beautiful velvet walls of yours for the first time… i’ll never forget it.”
you laugh, though it’s quickly swallowed by a kiss from your lover. he rocks his hips into you, feels every inch of his veiny cock disappear inside. he looks down to watch himself sink into you, though his gaze his brought back when you speak.
“three.”
kento blinks. “three what?”
“orgasms from you. you said you had two, but you came a third time right at the end—i milked you dry and you were so sex-drunk and exhausted but you insisted on making me food.” you reach down and grab his hand, the one that had been cupping at your chest, and hold it up for him to see the gentle scar that runs across his thumb. “you cut yourself slicing the bread because i fucked you mindless.”
it comes back to him in gentle flashes. you had, in fact, milked him of a third release. he had just been so out of his mind with nerves and pleasure that the memory had washed itself clean from his mind. he scolds himself mentally for ever daring to forget a detail about being intimate with you, but smiles.
“i remember,” he says. “you told me sex made you hungry so i wanted to incorporate it into your aftercare…”
“silly man,” you wrap your legs around his waist and lick your ankles behind him. with a gentle nudge, he’s forced that tiny bit deeper inside of you. “my silly man.”
kento moans—his eyes flutter shut and his lips catch between his teeth. he adores you—he really does. so much so that the sheer memory of his first time with you is quickly becoming too powerful of a memory to have.
and you, his beautiful other half, laid beneath him with lustful eyes and parted lips, smile up at him. “are we recreating our first time, ken? is that what this is?”
he nods, a little wordless as he tries to keep his mind straight.
“then i think you know what i’m going to do to you, my love.”
he smiles. “milk me for all i have. it’s all yours anyways.”
you lean up and kiss him. it’s slow, gentle, like your first kiss with him was. you taste him wholly on your lips and thank all the divine beings that may exist for putting such a man in your life’s trajectory. his cock twitches inside of you, he fills you out so perfectly.
still, you smile as you roll your hips up to meet his. “just let me handle the aftercare this time.”
#kento nanami smut#nanami smut#nanami x reader#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#nanami x you#nanami kento#jjk nanami#nanami
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Do remember this, but also remember that just because you survived last time doesn't mean everyone did
So many people lost or took their lives last time Trump was in the Presidential seat, and so many people killed themselves during the election or on new years or around that time because they couldn't physically handle the idea of America being (basically) under his control again
I believe lots of people can survive it but so many will die, it's important to not only do this but also offer support the people who are being discriminated against by the new laws, your family, friends, even people you don't know
Community is the most important thing, getting connected and sharing your services and stories and important news is really important, making or keeping community is probably the biggest act of defiance because it connects people, it shows people that they aren't alone
So yes, you made it last time, but you might not make it this time, at least not on your own, connect, hide, survive
And fuck the government
reminders for today:
if you or someone you know might need it in the next few years, purchase plan b. the shelf life of plan b is 4 years, and we might not be able to access it as easily as we can now in the days ahead.
if you can, purchase books that project 2025 is looking to ban.
mass deportations are starting. if you see ice vehicles or agents, yell ice raid and la migra as loud as you can.
if someone asks who you voted for, keep your mouth shut. they’re fishing for traitors.
if anyone, anyone at all asks about your neighbors or their legal status in the us, you know nothing. don’t be the reason that their family is separated.
if anyone asks about your religion or lack thereof, keep it vague. this administration will look for any excuse to persecute you.
your friends are trans or queer? for the next four years they’re not. don’t expose anyone’s status as a trans or queer person to anyone else, even if you think you can trust them.
did someone you know get an abortion? no, they didn’t. it was a miscarriage if anyone asks.
in short, don’t be a snitch, and keep to yourself these next four years. we’ll make it through this even if it seems hopeless at times.
this is all i can think of at the moment, but i’ll be adding on to this as the day continues.
we can survive this. we’ve survived before, and we’ll survive again.
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how do you find public spaces to fuck (re:the rooftop + dyke)?
sincerely, horny lez
Good question, I will answer it in this response eventually, but first, you have to sit through me intellectually jerking myself off for a moment because I think it may provide some useful perspective.
Public sex has been part of my life for as long as I've been having physical sex at all. As an adolescent it was mostly out of necessity, but these days it's mostly out of convenience. The vast majority of the sex I've had in the last year or two has been public.
I think it's important to clarify that for me at least, public sex is not an act of exhibitionism. If there's any sort of philosophy behind it besides sheer utility, I'd say it's something like not allowing our society's mores and hangups around sex and privacy dictate the terms on how and where we (especially as gay people) engage with our sexuality.
I think there's this gut impulse many people have--including many gay people--around public sex, and I think it speaks to the reactionary view of human sexuality that is unfortunately the stock standard in these times. For many, the idea of people having sex in public gives them some sort of 'ick' that they can't seem to articulate.
Often discussions around public sex are framed like this: "if I walked in on people having sex, it would make me uncomfortable, I didn't consent to that, so people should not be having sex in public." It would be fairly reasonable to experience discomfort in this imagined scenario--in fact, I think most people probably would--and that discomfort isn't a problem. The problem is that the premise assumes a few crucial points, notably that 1. Walking in on public sex is a common occurrence and/or the desired outcome for those engaging in it 2. Discomfort is a form of harm 3. Exposure to (non-hegemonic) human sexuality is capable of causing some kind of nebulous psychic damage to the witness.
To the first point: in my decade or so of regular public sex, I can only think of one instance where I was actually walked in on. It was an alley off of a major road and probably only at around 1030p. I mention this because we absolutely would have chosen a different, more secluded location/time if we were doing anything other than fully clothed kink and maybe some kissing, because again, the goal for most is not exhibitionism; no one really wants to be walked in on, so we choose locations where it is less likely that we will be.
To the second point, I have little to say besides that it simply isn't. Discomfort is an everyday part of life and is something all people experience regularly without calls to stop every potential source of it. So what is it about this topic that makes people react this way?
This leads us to the third point: non-hegemonic modes of sexuality are treated as degenerative and caustic and therefore must be hidden (or eradicated) entirely from the public sphere. It is the classic double standard; think of things like the "Don't Say Gay" or "DADT" laws or more broadly the attempt to remove even the mention of the existence of gays from curriculum. Most of the people who fight for such measures likely don't take the same issue or action with a 48 foot billboard for the local strip club or with a heterosexual couple kissing on screen.
And while the spot that people place the line may differ greatly, this ire against public sex still draws from the same well of reaction against perceived degeneracy that the fascist draws from. If this is not self evidently a negative thing to you, I have little I can say to convince you.
Some may be thinking 'okay, even if it is not harmful or degenerate, why do public sex?' To me, it is just as strange that so many keep their sex lives confined to the home and I could posit the same question. Neither way of doing things is any more natural or unnatural than the other, one is just the societal default. If it would bring you joy, why not engage in public sex?
The world is large, and if you know where to look, there are countless spaces you can carve out and stake the pervert's claim to. Alleyways, parks, bathrooms, rooftops, and beaches are the first to come to mind for me. To answer your question directly, you find them by making them and taking them.
Time is a large factor here as well. A given spot in a park at 9p may not be suitable, but might be more so by 11p, and even more so by 1a. My experience is that the later it gets, more spots become viable with less heavy precautions.
Another factor is coverage. An open field is riskier than behind a tree. The middle of an alley is riskier than behind a dumpster. You want to limit the amount of vectors through which you could be exposing yourself. I value coverage from sight lines over seclusion.
Something else you want to think about is whether or not you are on private property. If you are, it's possible that there are security personnel sitting in a car somewhere nearby or a resident who notices you. At that point, the issue is not even the sex, it's the fact you're there at all.
Finally, you always have to be ready to dip. Be aware of your surroundings as best you can, listen for cars and people, don't get too caught up in the moment that you're blinded. You gotta be ready to pull your pants up and walk quickly away. I'd rather be safe than sorry. If something's not right, get outta there. If you can't, well, don't have your dick out at least.
Anyway, all that to say go out and have fun. Good luck and enjoy yourself. The world has room for you to fit yourself into.
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j! its been so long but omg hi
i was super obsessed with ur frat!peter hows he doing?
i just saw a tiktok that was about a frat boy yelling at a party “if youre not a brother or fucking a brother, then get the fuck out!” has this been brought up in the frat!peter circle?
i have so many scenarios in my mind like at the different stages! when they first started and trouble isnt super stable in the relationship and she goes to head out but peter (or ethan omg) grabs her arm and hes like ur part of that demographic trouble. im melting 🫠
or when theyre like broken up/taking a break and she goes to leave and peter goes all sad puppy dog eyes :((
omg yes queen::
*a little something ya'll can wake up to. <3
---
'if you're not a brother or fucking a brother, then get the fuck out!'
you hold in a sigh, the party's over. ally won't make it home with you tonight, she ditched you thirty minutes ago to 'go with matty,' aka, you won't see her again until tomorrow.
you glance down at your drink and debate chugging it, if you do you know you'll leave with a woozy stomach. you take two sips and dump the cup in the kitchen trash, it sends two empty beer cans falling, you shrug at the mess and keep walking.
a girl stumbles into your shoulder and profusely apologizes with tears in her eyes, you keep telling her it's okay but she doesn't let it go until her boyfriend nudges her out of the house.
the house music cuts, any stragglers were just seriously kicked out. you follow the crowd and prepare for the cold walk home, a hand loops around your upper arm before you can get through the threshold.
'where do you think you're going?' you turn around and grin at your friend. 'home? where are you going?'
'also home. i'm just waiting for everyone to clear out first.' ethan pulls you away from the dwindling party. 'you know, brother duties.' he sends a wink your way, you nod along like you understand.
'yeah, but i'm not a brother so i don't think i should help with that.'
ethan stops you again. 'parker is a brother, yes?' he is. he's also not there tonight. something about going to queens being more important than the typical friday night party. 'he is.'
'and you're fucking him, right?' you love when ethan has a little liquor in him. 'i am.'
'okay, so then you fit the requirements. hang back with me and we can go to my place together.' it's not a hard sell but you'll act like it is. 'are you sure? peter's not even here, do those rules still apply?'
'i'm a god damn chapter officer, i get to make the rules and it's everyone else's job to follow them. how about that?' you pat ethan's shoulder, you're not arguing one bit.
'can't fight you on that, can i? you twisted my arm good enough, lorax. i'm yours until peter gets home.' ethan holds out his hand, you shake it like it's a business deal.
'good. he told me to make sure you stayed.' he says it with a wink, a gentle suggestion he wasn't supposed to tell you that but you're glad he did. it makes you warm thinking peter didn't want you to feel excluded, especially because he was missing in action tonight.
'well... i am fucking a brother, right?'
'you are. and you know what that means? you have to stay here after every party.' he says it like it's a bad thing but you can get used to being on an exclusive guest list.
it feels nice. so, ‘hell yeah.’
-- vs. after the breakup--
'if you're not a brother or fucking a brother, then get the fuck out!'
hearing it makes you sad. no one's going to make you stay or tell you that those exceptions still apply to you. ally gets to stay here and you have to tuck your tail between your legs and scoot out the door.
'i can leave with you.' your best friend is kind for offering, you're an even better friend for saying no. 'that's okay, stay with matt.'
'are you sure? you shouldn't have to walk out of here alone, that kinda blows.' it does and you don't like the reminder. you'd prefer if ally stays, actually. you don't want her pity.
'it's fine. beats the alternative, right?' she looks at you to say what the alternative is, you do it with a sigh. 'fucking peter. that's my other option.'
'who said it had to be peter? there's like forty guys in the frat and you're buddies with at least five, take your pick.' you've thought about it but frat boys, especially the ones from sig nu, make you queasy.
'it's fine, ally-cat. i'll walk back with one of the other girls in our dorm.' the same faces you see in the hallway at your dorm are gathering their stuff to leave, they'll have no issue with you tagging along. 'boo. i miss when we would have frat house sleepovers.'
'good. blame peter.'
'and i do. he hates to see me coming his way, he really does.'
another brother screams out the same line, you frown and decide to leave while you still have friends in eye-distance. when you reach the door you look behind one last time to send a wave to your best friend. ally sends one back and blows a kiss with it. you catch it and slam it to your cheek, she giggles, you grin. your eyes flit up to the stairs, someone's already watching you.
peter sends you a sorry smile, he hates that you don't get to stick around anymore either. you match his melancholy and give him a shrug, more like a 'whatcha gonna do?' vibe. rules are rules and you're no longer a fitting member for the requirements they need.
'you can stay.' peter mouths it, you pretend not to know what he just said. 'wait.' you're still pretending, you turn around and walk a little faster down the steps- peter catches you on the bottom step.
'i said you can stay.' you have no reason to stay behind. you're not a brother and you're no longer involved with one. you point to an imaginary watch on your wrist, 'i'm about to turn into a pumpkin.'
'yeah, you almost left a shoe running out of here so fast, cinderella.'
you grin, 'i'm just following the rules.'
peter wavers his stance, he doesn't care who said what- he wants you to hang around a little bit more. he likes seeing you around. 'you're still included. i mean, we're involved, aren't we?'
you look at him like he's crazy, you swear you see him blush before he starts fumbling over his words. 'i just meant that i'm not moving on and you're not moving on and i'm trying to get things back to how they were- no, wait, i'm trying to get things better than they were before. not that they were bad! well, i mean they were bad but not... trouble, help me out here, you know what i mean.'
you do. you just like ignoring it. 'you're cute when you grovel for me.'
'i'll get on my knees right fucking now.' he's not even drunk and he's willing to beg for you in front of his party goers. you have to hold in a smirk of pride. 'to ask me to stay or to convince me with your mouth?'
peter's eyebrows raise, 'if you're asking me to go down on you the answer is yes. it's very much a yes, my place or yours? fuck it, let's go to the bathroom.' you're halfway back inside before you realize what you started.
you rip your hand away from peter, you refuse to go back to what it was. you need more than a few apologies to make you crawl back into his bed, you need a real confession. 'nuh uh, not happening. not in a damn bathroom.'
'okay, that's fine, my place is closer.'
you have to stop yourself from following him a second time. 'no, wait! i meant no, it's not happening. period.'
'i don't care if you're on your period, i'll still do it. that's how committed i am to you.' you manage to keep from gagging at the visual, instead you shove peter's shoulder. 'ew! you're so gross! i'm not on my period, you dolt. i'm just not having sex with you.'
'cool, don't have sex with me, let me just show you i can still make you come in under five minutes.' he has no idea how tempting it is. you're being braver saying no than he is for asking, post-breakup included.
'go find another girl, i'm sure there's a whole line-up waiting to get picked on.' peter's nose wrinkles, he doesn't even think of it as a cheap shot. 'gross, other girls are icky.'
you shut it down. 'peter, i'm not a brother and i haven't touched you in two months. there's no reason for me to still be here, goodnight.' you try to leave, a whine follows behind you.
'but you're still-'
but you're not, no matter how much he says it.
'if you changed the rule to 'if you're not a brother, fucking a brother, or used to fuck a brother, then get the fuck out!' how many girls would stand around and wait on you?' peter looks at you, he doesn't say anything and silence always screams that you're right.
'mhm. rules are rules, goodnight.'
there's a sense of succeeding when all you get is a wistful goodbye behind you. it lasts until the next week when the routine friday night party comes to an end with the normal call.
'if you're not a brother, fucking a brother, or go by trouble, then get the fuck out!'
ally squeals and tells you 'that's you!' but you're too busy glaring at peter's smug face to celebrate. it's his turn to shrug, his mouth forms four words that fuck you over.
'rules are rules, trouble.'
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When you've surrounded yourself with so many pseudo-science and outright conspiracy fuckshits that you can't keep your pro-life and pro-TERF language straight and end up sounding hilariously near a point.
Let me be very clear: There have always been more than two sexes. Male and female are the dominant ones, yes, and it's important for your biological sex to be included in your medical records because some health issues (like breast cancer) can more widely affect one of those sexes over another. In the same vein, this is why it's very important that intersex people be able to identify as intersex. Their biological makeup is also important for a doctor understanding what may be more or less common based on their biological sex.
Let me be clear a second time: Your gender is not your sex, and your gender is yours to choose or not (I'm enby). Intersex people should be given this same right and also not have to find out as adults that they weren't actually born male or female but, instead, intersex and then forced into the binary by healthcare providers and/or parents.
To claim that biological sex can only be two things is to blatantly ignore the medical needs of approximately 5.5 million Americans. Which are already ignored by healthcare professionals and families alike and does not need help from the federal fucking government to make it harder for intersex people to be seen as valid and valued as they are.
From Trump’s executive order — It basically declares everyone is now a woman.
All human embryos are female at conception…it takes around 6 weeks for fetal testes to produce androgen which counteracts the estrogen which produces male genitalia.
#intersex#queer shit#male#female#sex and gender are not the same thing#and there have always been more than 2 of both
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How could you love somebody like me?
Pairing: f!reader x Javier Peña Words count: 3032 Rating: + 18, NSFW, MDNI. Summary: Javi is under protection and has asked you to join him in the hotel room where he is confined. When you discover his secrets and lies, however, that room will become too small. Too small for both of you. Tags/warnings: POV second person, no use of y/n, Javi is still a DEA agent but it's a modern setting so the man has a smartphone. Reader is described having female genitalia and breasts, no other description of her is given, she doesn't blush and her hair is not described. Mention of alcohol, mention of cheating, Javi is a cheater, no happy ending, we will go through the man's phone (you're not supposed to do that but I never said my reader could do no wrong, right?), use of pet names (gatita which means kitten in Spanish, baby, darling), smut, angry sex, unprotected p in v (do better irl), cream pie, of course a little nipple play ‘cause it’s still my fic, toxic relationship, self doubt, mention of Steve, a huge pile of lies, Javi is bad at feelings, some reader’s thoughts marked in italics. I think it's all, let me know if I forgot something and I'll add it right away. A/N: Written for @jolapeno 's "Dear-uary" challenge. This was my prompt, I struggled a little bit at first but I ended up having a blast writing this ❤︎ Heavily inspired by this song (from which the fic also takes its title), I heard it randomly on Spotify one day and I thought "wait, this is perfect for Javi!" and I ended up being obsessed with two more songs by the same artist. LOL Many thanks to: - @aurorawritestoescape , my beta, for her help and advice, she will probably dream of elephants because of me tonight hahaha Kate I own you a big one, thanks baby so much, I love you ❤️ - The person who basically pulled this out of my brain and supported me throughout the process, my precious, my peanut @joelmillerisapunk. 🥰 Love you so much it's ridiculous🥹 - @milla-frenchy for letting me blather about this thing some days ago. Love you, bb ❤︎ English is not my first language, every single mistake is still on me, I deeply apologize if you find any.
Edited - because I forgot to change the most important detail, of course. I’m not myself if I’m not doing a mess. Yay. It’s okay now.
“Why the hell am I here? Was I the only available hole this week?”
“No,” he whispers.
“So what?”
Javier came back and found you in the middle of the room.
You were brandishing his phone like a sword in the air, the banner of everything that was wrong.
His face went pale when he saw you like that.
Eyes wide open.
Mouth agape.
He tried to say something but you immediately hit him with a vomit of words.
“I know what you’re doing,” you hiss under your breath, feeling your eyes sting.
Javier is a marble statue in front of you, his lips pressed together, his absent eyes not even looking at you, staring at a spot behind your shoulders, his arms abandoned along his sides.
He seems anchored to the ground.
His last words to you still burn on your skin like a fire you cannot extinguish.
A heavy silence between you fills the air of the room and makes it unbreathable.
“Fuck, Javier, talk to me,” you whisper angrily.
You clutch his phone in your hands, so tightly that your knuckles are white from exertion, as if you were clinging to it to keep yourself from falling off a cliff.
“You knew I was no good,” he says sternly.
You have been in this room for two days.
Officially, Javier has to stay here because henchmen of one of the new drug lords in town are set on taking him out.
Unofficially, he has you infiltrating the room.
Typical Javier, spending his time under protection fucking someone.
You foolishly almost believed it was romantic, until this morning.
“So you’re trying to say that it’s my fault? Is that what you want to say? It’s my fault that as soon as I turn my back you go and stick your cock in someone else's pussy?” You don’t even have the strength to scream right now. Your voice comes out rancorous but low, hoarse, like a blown growl.
Oh, you’re not going to accept being lectured by him, fuck no.
“No, I’m just saying -” he tries to explain and you glare at him, making the words die in his mouth.
"What?"
“Fuck, I'll never change,” he shrugs as if it were a truism that only you can't grasp.
His eyes shift to the ground, dull and absent.
“You don't change because you are convinced that you can't,” you admonish him, feeling anger rising from your chest.
"That's not true," he murmurs, keeping his gaze on the crimson and gold carpet that lies at your feet.
“Yes, it is,” you insist, ”and you seem to like to think of yourself as an incurable asshole.”
He still fails to see the real problem, the elephant in the room that lives and thrives among you.
"Then you tell me, if you think you know me so well,” he asks with defiance.
“You bet I fucking know you,” you lash out. “You think you're so mysterious and complicated?! Well, news flash, I've seen plenty like you. You’re just another man. You're not even that, you're a child. A child who's afraid of his own shadow when it comes to relationships.”
“Don’t fucking analyze me,” he hisses, finally setting his eyes back on you.
Raven, angry and fearful. He knows you can read him like an open book and this unleashes an awareness upon him that crushes him to the ground.
You bitterly laugh, “Truth hurts, huh? I know something about it”.
The wrinkle between his eyebrows deepens, his nostrils flare, and his mouth tightens into a line so thin you think he’s about to burst. He stays quiet instead, eyes back on the damask carpet decoration.
_____________
“Yes, Steve, I'm fine. That jerk won't find me here, and anyway it's full of police outside the door.”
A pause and a sigh.
”No, no one followed her, they don't know who she is.”
You stood behind the half-closed bathroom door listening.
You smiled.
His voice sounded softer when he talked about you. You lulled yourself into that feeling.
Until you heard something else.
A booming laugh.
Water ran in the shower, tiny droplets coated the wall as the mirror fogged up.
“Whatever. Of course I'm still screwing around. At least, I was doing it before that asshole started chasing me,” his voice suddenly lowered so you took a chance and opened the door a little more. You wanted to make sure you heard right.
Your hand trembled against the doorknob, you grabbed your wrist to hold it steady.
“You idiot,” he scoffed. “Yeah, we'll be in touch.”
Suspicion. The black wing of a crow that had been wrapped around your heart for a long time.
But then why did it hurt so much?
You allowed yourself to hide it in a part of your brain where you never looked-that was a mistake. Making the hunch barely a firefly when it was supposed to be a bright neon sign.
He always places the phone with its screen down when you go out to dinner, softly smiling at it when he checks it after a few vibrations, telling you “it’s Steve” when you ask.
But you know that crooked smile.
He dodges when you ask him about his day "oh work, you know, just work."
He tells you he is with Steve but you hear female voices in the background.
Every time you try to confront him it always ends the same way, him telling you, “you’re paranoid, there’s no one else, just you, baby. You’re the only one I want.”
And then he fucks your doubts into oblivion.
You heard the thud of the phone on the blankets. And then Javier calling you.
You swallowed the gall rising from the walls of your stomach and just smiled when he joined you in the bathroom and suggested that you shower together.
You wanted some proof before you charged him.
If there was anything you had learned from being with him, it was that hard evidence was the key. So you played cool.
He fucked you against the shower wall and you moaned into his neck.
He licked your pussy like a man starved and you just bit your lips until you felt iron on your tongue.
He kissed you with that liar's mouth, and you let him.
And you fell asleep beside him, on the unmade bed of your uncertainties.
This morning someone from outside called him into the hallway to report the latest movements of the guy who was looking for him.
His phone was on the bedside table.
It was like a magnet, pulling your hand to it.
You were almost sure you knew his unlock code ‘cause you had watched the movements of his finger many times.
You tried twice without success.
The third time you let out a long sigh, visualized in your mind the movement one more time and unlocked it.
You were in.
Your heart was beating wildly in your chest as your fingers swiped and clicked on the screen.
And there they were.
Dozens and dozens of messages and pics exchanged with 4 different women.
You scrolled through one of the chats with a certain Maria, who regularly sent him pictures of her tits and her legs spread wide, her pussy in the shot.
There was sexting, arranged dates, same promises he gave to you, things you never asked for but he kept repeating like a broken record. Even the same pet name. Gatita.
Blood simmered in your veins, a jolt in your heart, throat dry.
Your finger furiously scrolled through the chat, finding tons of messages he had sent her while he was with you.
You switched to another one and you found pretty much the same. And yet another, message after message containing flirting and explicit sex.
“Oh Javi, you keep getting better and better with that cock of yours”
“My pussy needs you, darling, can you come over?”
“I can’t stop thinking about your huge cock dripping on me”
And the more you scrolled, the more a question formed in your brain, rumbling through your temples like a deafening drum.
Was he ever sincere with you?
________
When he looks up at you again, you see it. A veil of fragility in the dense blackness of his gaze.
He looks almost helpless. “I know you tried,” he admits, ”You tried harder than anyone else.”
“Apparently it was no use,” you chastise him.
He doesn’t reply.
Instead he comes closer and closer.
You pull back, responding to his every step forward with a backward one.
“Please,” he whispers.
“No.”
“Don't do that.”
“You have no right to tell me what to do,” you bark.
”I know...”
“Fuck off, Javier, leave me alone.”
You pull back until you hit the wall behind you.
Javier approaches, bending slightly to reach your mouth, his mustache brushes against your cupid’s bow and you don't even have the strength to turn your face away anymore.
When your lips collide you let it happen.
It’s like when you drink too much Tequila.
It burns on your tongue, leaving you almost anesthetized as soon as you down it, and then an aromatic taste wafts into your mouth; it is lysergic, unusual, unmistakable.
You love it, so you keep doing it.
Javier is the same.
He's sharp, stiff at the edges, burns like fire, but he has an aura that you won’t mistake for anything and he hypnotizes you. He’s not like anyone else, despite what you told him. There is an underlying despair in him, a cry dying in his throat, “How can you love someone like me?”
He says it only with his eyes but you hear it clearly.
He is a time bomb that explodes in your heart every time he touches you. So you keep doing it.
“Fuck,” you whisper against his lips.
“Yeah…I know. I’m not worthy.”
And yet, you’re still here.
You let him peel off your every layer of clothing, to leave you naked and vulnerable in front of him.
You do nothing when he undresses too. Hastily taking off his shirt, fumbling with the button of his jeans, nervous hands and short breaths.
It is like some mind fuck game, intoxicating, dangerous, capable of leaving permanent marks.
He lowers his jeans just enough to free his cock, no boxers. Always ready.
His hands run over your hips and you groan.
His tongue slides over your neck, his eyes closed, his breath heavy and warm on your skin.
He makes you cry, but you don't say no.
His lips latch onto your nipple and adrenaline rushes through your veins up into your head, hitting hard like a jackhammer.
You don’t pull back anymore, you push your tit into his mouth so eagerly you feel his teeth closing on your bud and you whine in pleasure.
His growing erection leaks against your center. You are trapped. Not so much because you are between him and the wall but because you no longer know how to get him out of your head.
Right now it doesn't matter how much it hurts.
He slides his hands down your thighs and you know what he wants, without needing to speak. You wrap your legs around his waist. He kneels on the bed with you still clinging to him, you lie back on the soft blankets that smell of you both, arch your back and press against his cock. You folds splayed and dripping for him.
His fingers go up your rib cage, stop under your breasts and grasp there, he draws you back to him and your mouths collide again.
You let his tongue enter. You let the fleeting pleasure of this instant take over all the no's you know you have to say.
There’s no right kind of love here, this room is drowned in angry sex.
Angry at how you can never say no to him, angry at how he makes you feel, angry because you know that no one has ever fucked you the way he did, invading your body with a pleasure so addictive that it makes you sick. Angry because maybe he's right, he can't change.
You break the kiss and bite on his shoulder, a small act of revenge that really does no harm compared to your bleeding heart.
Your hands grasp on the golden skin of his back, leaving marks with your nails digging into it, your miserable attempt to leave marks on him in return.
You moan convulsively under his touch, your mouth wide open against his, your tongue desperately seeking him out.
His hands tighten on your ass, lifting you slightly, his cock slides over your wet opening, a guttural sound comes out of the back of your throat without you being able to hold it back.
You want him inside you.
You need him inside you.
And it’s wrong, and desperate. It’s masochistic.
You don’t even care for his jeans’s zip scraping your skin.
The thin line between pain and pleasure is so blurred now.
It’s a pathetic shit show of need and urgency.
You’d walk away from any other guy but Javier is the person you can never have just for yourself and at the same time he is the only one you want.
He is the knife and the wound at the same time.
When he asks “Whose pussy is this?” in his deep groaning voice that fucks directly with your brain, you can only reply “yours.”
Digging your nails deeper, biting more, wailing louder but just pleading with him.
You take his shaft in your hand and rub it against you in blind desperation, wetting it with your juices.
He groans into your ears while his hand reaches for your nipple and his big strong arm holds you close.
You are sitting on his thighs, your legs crossed behind his back.
His fingers pinch your nipple as you don't stop stroking his big throbbing cock.
Just put it in there. You think. I just need to feel your flesh against mine, inside me, claiming me like the rag doll that I am now.
Stupid bitch trying to have you when you’re damaged like a shattered glass, when you can bring nothing than heat to my body and freezing ice to my heart.
“Fuck me,” you groan.
He pushes against your core, entering you with one deep thrust.
Your pussy is weeping so much it doesn’t even hurt.
You clench on him with all the strength you have, chocking his cock with your walls.
“Fuck,” he growls. “You’re gripping me so hard, baby. There’s nothing you want more than this, huh? Me fucking you raw?”
“Shut up,” you hiss.
He starts moving, pumping into you as his hand reaches for your clit, brushing it in circles.
You whine, clinging onto his back, your face hidden in the crook of his neck.
You can’t look him in the eye, you can’t face your own shameful reflection in his pupils, you can’t think of anything else than this pleasure firing your body, your limbs, your mind.
Your pussy never gets the memo when it comes to him. She just clenches, and cries and asks for more.
At the verge of your brink, when you’re so utterly overwhelmed you could swear, you’re about to jump out of your skin, you hear it.
It’s the softest whisper on your skin, so low you barely catch the words, “I love you”
You cry a single tear that slides down the column of his neck, it could be mistaken for a bead of sweat so easily and Javier doesn’t notice it. But it’s there. You’re crying again.
You come, weeping.
Grasping to him like your last shred of hope.
But there’s no hope anymore.
You know you can’t go on like that.
You cried before. You argued before. It’s all useless.
A devastating orgasm shoots through you, leaving you without defense.
It’s the last thing you want but you need to get it over with.
You lie on the bed, feeling his last twitches inside you, his cum dripping onto your walls, his cock pressing against that spot that belongs only to him.
He lies down on you, gently crushing you with his weight, his sweaty skin against yours, the smell of your orgasm filling your nostrils.
You’re hopeless and breathless.
He's still inside you, like he doesn't want to leave.
You know you have to.
Eventually he shifts, lying on the other side of the bed muttering, “god, you really are something else.” He takes the pack of cigarettes from the nightstand and lights one, taking a long drag.
“I'm not enough,” you want to scream looking at him through the cloud of smoke enveloping him. “Or maybe you're not, for me.”
When he is about to fall asleep, you get up. You pick up your clothes off the floor and put them on silently.
“Where are you going, gatita?” he grunts.
Does he think he has solved it? Does he think you will forgive him as you did the other times?
You don’t reply.
"You only ever tell me the truth when you think I won't hear it,” you type on your phone and send it to him, before coming out of the door without turning your back.
You leave him there, wondering, lost as he makes you feel.
There will be two broken hearts.
You know he loves you and you love him.
He is convinced that he doesn’t deserve you and pushes you away every time you get close to his soul.
He knows that you see him clearly; that scares him.
You are tired of fighting for the both of you.
You push the elevator button under the gaze of an unsuspecting policeman who urges, “Where are you going, miss?”
“I'm leaving.”
“Do you need someone to accompany you?”
“No, thank you.”
“Someone could follow you,” he counters.
“No one knows me, you don't have to worry.”
You wait for the elevator, still hoping to see his ruffled raven hair poking out the door, his voice calling to you, his hand tightening on your wrist.
None of this happens.
The only ones who will follow you are your ghosts.
Tag list: @baronessvonglitter , @almostempty , @probablyreadinsmut , @thundermartini , @gothcsz , @cas-readsandwrites , @harriedandharassed
Archive tag: @pedrostories
If you want to be added or removed just let me know! Thank you very much for reading❤︎
#javier peña x f!reader#javier peña smut#jolapenosdearuary#javier peña fanfiction#javier peña x female reader#javier peña#narcos au#pedro pascal#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal cinematic universe#ppcu#pedro pascal characters fanfiction
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You can tell that I’m starting to piss people off because so many of these “anti” people have blocked me for calling out their dumbass bullshit.
That’s not gonna stop me though! Screenshots for the win, bitch!
Anyway, as per usual this is a dumb post by a dumb person. Vi is NOT “clearly having a panic attack.” She was sad, yes, and very emotional. But having emotions isn’t having a panic attack. Panic attacks look a very specific way and this does not track.
And yes, there absolutely IS something romantic about this. At her lowest point thinking that she just lost both Jinx AND Caitlyn, Caitlyn comes in and informs her that she let Vi make this decision to save her sister. Caitlyn, the woman who’s been hunting her sister for 2 seasons, whose mother was blown up by her, who sacrificed so much to capture her sister… waltzed into the room and let her know that she forgives Caitlyn for wanting to save her sister and that she’s letting her anger go because VI’s love is more important to her than her hatred of Jinx.
At her lowest point thinking she lost Caitlyn, Caitlyn came in and let her know she’s worth the love. That she’s not a bad person for making the decision to free Jinx. That her love for her sister IS still important and a worthy quality to have.
That’s HELLA romantic. What the fuck are you talking about?
And yeah… it IS impulsive. And it IS selfish. Two things can be true at once.
#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#caitlyn kiramman#caitvi#vi arcane#violyn#arcane critical is a bad faith hashtag#bad arcane criticism#i’m so sick of these ridiculously bad takes#bad faith criticism
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₊˚⊹ ♡ . rafe cameron x apple pie!reader
Rafe didn’t understand what everybody was always running their mouth about when they said shit like “you’ll meet a nice girl” “you’ll wanna settle down” because, in his experience, nice girls were atrociously boring and no one he ever wanted to be around. He was sure he’d shack up with some bitch and get married and pump out a couple kids because he had to, because that’s what he was supposed to do, but not because he loved someone so much he wanted to
That was, until he met you.
You, with your gentle beauty and the way your hair was always so close to perfect but never quite. The pleated skirts and the way you always smelled of cinnamon and, faintly, soil. Warm as a kitchen at dawn, quiet except for your laugh, which was loud enough to scare the birds out of the forest.
The thing about girls with rickety front porches and warm hands, though, is that you have to be on their best behavior around them—that’s what Barry said, at last: “Man, she’s not gonna want your coked-up ass. That typa chick wants a dude who builds a fuckin’ fence and shit. They don’t like rich dudes. Give it up.”
And unfortunately, Rafe was pretty sure he was right. You mostly kept your head down when you walked, and no matter how many things he leaned against, or how many times he casually smoked a cigarette near you, he just couldn’t get you to look his direction—and if you did, you didn’t grant a second glance to his crisp white shirts or his backwards hat.
His crowning last-stitch move was when he made a big show of helping his dear sister carry her bag when she was walking down the dock—it looked heavy, he wouldn’t want her hurting herself! She’s family, after all! Sarah had tried to wrestle the bag back and she flipped him off after he put it onto the boat for her, but it’d already had the desired effect… your eyes lingered on him for a moment. Family was important, after all. You were the kinda girl who cared about those things.
When the two of you started going out, he felt like his life was spinning out of control and simultaneously clicking into place. You had expectations for him, real ones. And a lot of the time when you said shit like “I’m making dinner tonight, don’t be late” or “wash your hands” Rafe wanted to tell you to go fuck yourself, because you weren’t his damn mother—except when he looked over at you and saw your face, that wide-eyed, imploring look you always gave him, the words died in his throat. What the hell was wrong with him?
He’d do something nice for you and you’d nudge his arm. “What, you sweet on me or somethin’?” He’d wonder who even talks like that, it’s weird. Then he’d find himself grabbing your pretty face and kissing you so hard you think he might break your nose.
Rafe was so, so well behaved with you. He kept it together so nice, all his unstable shit wrapped up into a neat little package tied with ribbon. He acted as a guy who smiled semi-often, and said thank you sometimes, and maintained eye contact with you when he was fucking you—all things that were new and unfamiliar to him. When you told him what time dinner was, he came over in time. He kissed your forehead and he meant it. For you, he did it all. Barry had been right. You wanted a well-behaved guy, and Rafe wanted to watch the way your smile took over your face when you were happy and the ecstatic look on your face when you came, so he was well-behaved.
That was, until he wasn’t.
He was supposed to come over at nine. You would’ve just gotten out of the shower (or maybe you’d still be in, if he got lucky) and you’d put your cute little plaid PJs on, and you’d climb on top of him and put your weight on his chest while the two of you watched some 90’s movie. The movie would get boring in act three and he’d watch you ride him, and then he’d cum on your stomach like a gentleman, and the two of you would fall asleep wrapped up in eachother.
Instead of that carefully constructed, lovely, dreamy evening—Rafe showed up at nearly three in the morning, covered in blood.
He knew you’d be asleep, he’d have time to wash his face and toss his shirt in the trash can out back before climbing into your bed with you. He didn’t wanna go home. He wanted to press kisses to your throat and apologize for being late, swear that it would never happen again and then make it up to you in the morning by making you cum over and over in your crisp red plaid bedsheets.
Instead, he found you sitting on a stool in your living room, head leaned against the wall, eyes heavy with sleep. Waiting for him. Rafe froze like a deer in headlights and waited for the inevitable, for you to call him a psychopath and beat him off the property with a broom.
You didn’t. You didn’t speak, just led him to the bathroom and wiped the blood from his face, carded your fingers through his hair. Threw his clothes into the rattling washing machine with a tablespoon of hydrogen peroxide, and then let him crawl into bed with you anyway. The two of you were silent, and he slung an arm over you. You settled into the crook of his armpit and fell asleep with your face smushed against his bicep, and he felt something horrible and unfamiliar blooming in his chest.
You could never leave him, he decided. He wouldn’t allow it. He couldn’t survive that.
#thinking: rafe cameron ₊˚⊹ ♡#apple pie!reader#rafe cameron x apple pie!reader#rafe cameron x reader smut#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron x reader#rafe x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe smut#rafe x reader#rafe imagine#rafe fic#rafe cameron x reader drabble#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x you smut#rafe cameron x smut#rafe cameron drabble#rafe cameron x y/n
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Give me the LnDs boys as Dads hcs as a proper break. uwu/
Oh boy, ok .w.
Rafayel:
Goofball of a dad
If his kids are on the artsy side too he demands his kids doodles get their own showcase as well
100% colors with crayons with them, maybe even makes them their own coloring books
Teaches them Lemurian from the start
Plushie heists... Teaches the kid to climb into the claw machine and toss down the plushies
Sylus:
That is going to be the most well guarded baby ever, no one will be able to so much as sneeze around that kid without him knowing
Doesn't raise a fuss about being on diaper duty
The most gentle/softest you've ever seen him ever when he's holding them
Even though he can't carry a tune, baby knocks out faster than anything when he's humming them a lullaby
Weapon safety training starts early... with how many armories he has he's not risking them getting accidentally hurt
Zayne:
Def takes paternity leave, he's a dedicated doctor but he also knows these first few months are some of the most important for bonding and wants to be there personally to monitor the baby's health and development
You'll sometimes find him in his office doing work wearing a baby harness, the baby sleeping against his chest
Snowdays are the fucking best
Also handles diaper duty/baby chores well... after having your hands inside someone else's giblets, stuff like that doesn't seem so bad I'd imagine
I could see him asking for a second
Xavier:
Nap time with baby is his favorite moments, sleeps with them on his chest/stomach
He's read baby books but it's not the same as dealing with the real thing, pls help him
Somehow can't even prep bottles, he manages to explode it in the microwave
Is a little jealous at first of the attention you've giving to the baby but it melts away immediately after seeing how the little bean is a perfect mix of the two of you <3
The best of them at calming down a fussy baby
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I’m the one from the last ask you can do it however you want you can make Jay mean if you want
well, since i have full permission...
18+ mdni.
warnings: dacryphilia, dubcon, jay's kinda toxic.
.
jay is like that really possessive and protective boyfriend. he provides for you, takes care of you. he's a man of a few words, but his actions are way more meaningful than that.
you're someone quite sensitive, worrying about way too many things, that, in jay's opinion, aren't really important. seeing you cry is like a daily occurrence, but he doesn't mind it. if he did, he wouldn't be with you.
he doesn't mind it because, honestly, he likes it a lot. even makes him hard.
it's not that he enjoys seeing you hurt—well, maybe— but there's something about being the one who has to comfort you that makes him prideful, somewhat satisfied. it intensifies his possessive side.
he'd be so manipulative about it, shushing you, telling you it's nothing, that all you need is to shut your brain off... and there's only one thing that works better than anything else; his cock.
you're not really telling him no, not really telling him yes either, but as long as jay makes you feel good, it's fine, right? and anyway, there's a part of him that always wants to see you cry while empaled on his dick.
the way your eyes are glossy and shiny, the way your tears fall one by one on your face and cascade your cheeks, how you hiccup and sniffle as he plunges his cock inside of you, your tits bouncing on your chest... he honestly can't get enough.
the moment he sees your tearful eyes, it's like something switches in him... he still takes care of you, don't get him wrong, but he does it just in a different way where he throws you over the bed, pulls your panties down and slowly, yet intensely, fucks your cunt.
#tw dubcon#— ☆ starring enhypen#w/ jay !#enhypen smut#enhypen x reader#enhypen imagines#enhypen hard hours#enha smut#jay x reader#jay smut#park jongseong smut
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Take me out, and take me home…
an: this is kinda long!! but here is my official fic based on Lover by Taylor Swift:) any blue text is Billie’s dialogue and any pink is readers. I hope you enjoy this one!! seven and Guilty as Sin are both coming soon. Peachy (pt. 2) is also going to be on the way! i wasn’t originally expecting you guys to want a part two so i’ll get writing!! 🥰✨🍑
warnings: intoxication mentioned, slight nudity but no smut, so much fucking fluff it’s like a unicorn threw up cotton candy in here.
alsoooo thank you also for over a hundred followers! that’s so many beautiful besties!! i’ve loved writing about billie and chatting with so many of you over the last few weeks and i can’t wait for more!! love ya💋
🩷🥂🫧💋✨
“Take me homeeeee” You slurred, stumbling out of the party you and Billie had just attended. Billie had an arm slung around your waist while you had an arm around her shoulders.
“We’re going home baby, I promise,” Billie replied with a giggle at your disheveled state. Even drunk as can be, she found you so beautiful. Your rosy cheeks even rosier, your big wide eyes now hooded and hazy and full of love, and the sleepy smile plastered on your face made her just wanna kiss it right off of you.
“Heyy babyyyyy? I have.. a very important question for… you.” You looked back up at her stoically, booping her nose as you said “you.” Billie planted a kiss to your temple to try to hide her giggle.
“What baby?” She quickly bent down to grab your waist again as you stumbled backward, making you burst into the most melodic sounding giggles.
“I’m your baby right?” This sent Billie into a laughing fit. The attempt at a serious look on your face combined with the cutest little question, she couldn’t help it.
She pressed kisses to your cheek and temple in between declarations, “My baby, *kiss* my princess, *kiss* my girl, *kiss* my angel, *kiss* my magical unicorn angel baby princess,” she added the last one with a giggle. That was your little nickname for anyone in your life who meant something to you. Your best friends, Billie of course, your little cat. And it never failed to make Billie laugh when she heard it.
“Why do you ask my love?” She questioned after your giggles calmed down again.
“Because I’m like… soooo many things right? But I don’t have a thing for you, you know? Like I need a thing for you. And I was thinking so hard in my brain tonight and I think I figured it out.” You stated matter of factly.
Billie just nodded for you to continue, holding you up a little tighter, and pushing some hair out of your face.
“You, Billie girl, are my-“ You got cut off by Billie’s phone dinging, signaling her driver was here. Without rudely interrupting you, Billie carefully walked you both over to the car, and carefully guided you into the back seat before scooching in herself.
“You warm and cozy mama?” Billie asked, fiddling with the heater in the back, kissing your forehead after you nodded in confirmation.
The ride back home was quiet, a stark contrast to the buzz of the club you two were just in, as well as to your own drunk ramblings. Some people liked to run when drunk, others call exes, and others just fall asleep. Not you. You were always a bundle of energy, ready to chit chat with anyone who would listen, and Billie found it adorable, never once silencing your tipsy rambles even as you both tried to fall asleep at 4am.
“Billie?”
“Yeah baby?”
“I feel like… I feel like I’ve known you for like.. twenty years. But also that’s like not possible. I’ve only known you for real, for like twenty seconds.”
Billie chuckled at your statement. Another little thing you did after drinking, was greatly exaggerate time. For example, if it was the middle of November and someone complained about you still having Halloween decorations up, you’d gasp in shock saying Halloween was “literally like 20 minutes ago.” You two had been dating for about three years now, so Billie just chuckled understanding twenty seconds was three years in your own little drunken time zone tonight.
“Twenty years is a long time baby,” she replied softly, pulling you in closer to her side, letting you rest your head on her shoulder.
“It’s like such a long time. *sigh* Can we still be this close in twenty years?”
This sent both of you into giggles. Billie couldn’t help herself anymore, smothering you in kisses, each one accompanied by a little “mwah!”
“Baby once I get a ring on that finger, we will be this close for a lot longer than twenty years hun.” She pushed some hair behind your ear, watching your cheeky flush under her gaze.
“For ever and ever, you’re my-“
Your conversation faltered again as you pulled up in front of your place. Billie thanked the driver and helped you out of the car before guiding you up to your apartment. Not without few stumbles and bumps along the way.
You were starting to feel a little sleepy but Billie knew you’d get a second wind once you got inside, but she still got butterflies when she felt you wrap your arms around her from behind and rest your cheek on her shoulder as she unlocked the door.
Billie almost jumped out of her skin as you gasped dramatically at something, scaring the shit out of her.
“Baby!” You had your hands on your cheeks in shock, looking back at her as she locked the door behind her.
“We left the Christmas lights up!” You paused before turning back to face the lights. “Until January!”
“Is that a bad thing?” Billie was so confused but went along with it.
“Isn’t that like… against the rules? Christmas was like a million days ago!”
“This is our place, we make the rules.” Your eyes shined up at Billie like she just revealed the meaning to life.
“Oh. My. God. You’re so fucking right babe.”
Billie chuckled and kissed your temple before guiding you to the kitchen and sitting you down on a stool as she got you some water and a small snack.
“Drink up lovie, I don’t want your pretty little head hurting tomorrow.”
As you sipped your water and nibbled on some snacks Billie went into your shared bedroom to get you some pjs and start the shower.
Billie ran her hand under the water to check the temperature before stopping, hearing such a sound come from the kitchen. She dried off her hand before tip toeing back to the kitchen to find the source of the.. sound? song? cry?
“You’re my my my myyyyyyyyyy,” it was you. And your second wind Billie had predicted. You were spinning around on stool singing.. well singing something, only stopping when you caught sight of Billie.
“Babyyyyyy!!! You came back!” You cried out with a huge smile and your hands out, wiggling your fingers as if it would magically will her closer to you. And to your knowledge, it did magically will her closer as she wrapped her own arms around you, kissing the top of your head a few times, chuckling softly.
“I finished my snack and my water. I’m so good at that.” Billie chuckled and simply placed her forehead onto the top of your head.
“You’re killing me here babe.” She said, lifting her head back up and pushing the hair out of your face. You just shrugged nonchalantly before puckering your lips dramatically. Billie smiled adoringly before leaning in and giving you a soft almost angelic kiss, squishing your cheeks a bit too.
“Alright tipsy girl, you wanna go shower and get comfy?” She said holding your shoulders while you nodded. She could tell you were starting to get sleepy, but she knows you’d be grumpy in the morning if you hadn’t showered and you were hungover.
As she guided you into the bathroom, you were humming that little song again, Billie has never heard it before.
“That’s a pretty song your singing there lovie.” She said, helping you out of your clothes.
“Thank you. I’m writing it myself. Right now.”
“Oh really? You wanna sing some more of it for me?”
“Mmm maybe when I’m in the shower. I need to write more words first.” Billie nodded, holding back a laugh.
“Of course, of course. How could I rush such art?” She replied. “Do you want me to come in with you? Need help?”
You gasped and softly nudged her shoulder, “Billie! That’s dirty!” Billie kissed your cheek softly, a mischievous glint in her eye.
“Baby it’s not dirty. We had sex in there this morning.” Your jaw dropped and face flushed at Billie’s statement. Your drunk brain not seeming to remember that right now.
“Oh my gosh Billie. You have to promise not to say things like that in front of other people.” You drunkenly pleaded, face totally flushed.
“I promise mama. I save my dirty jokes only for you.” She said with a wink, making you sigh in relief.
“Oh thank god.” Eventually you did in fact pull Billie in there with you. You claimed you didn’t need any help, but you couldn’t deny Billie’s fingers massaging the shampoo into your scalp was heavenly. The rose smell of your shampoo mixed with Billie’s woodsy vanilla body wash she used on you wrapped around you almost as tight as Billie’s arms, making your eyes droopy as you rested your head in the crook of her neck, leaning back into her and she pressed tiny kisses to your own shoulder. Her hands slowly roaming around your body, over your stomach, up to your boobs, a squeeze to your hips, a couple more squeezes on your shoulders and back to your stomach where her arms wrapped tightly, and contentedly.
“You ready for bed angel?” She whispered into your ear, hands giving your hips another squeeze. You just nodded sleepily turning around in her arms to give her a proper hug.
“Thank you by the way,” Your words a bit more steady now as you slowly sobered up.
“For what baby?”
“For saving me a seat at the table tonight. Since I got stuck in traffic. I was nervous everyone else would wanna sit next to you,” You said it so small and sweetly that Billie felt her heart grow ten sizes, knowing that at every table, she’d save you a seat for the rest of her life.
“Oh babygirl,” she cooed, cradling your head closer into her as she hugged you tighter.
She gave you one last kiss to the top of your head before shutting off the water. She stepped out and grabbed your towels out of the little towel warmer and wrapped herself in one quickly, before heading back to you. She shut the shower door again to keep the warm air in as she carefully dried you off a bit before wrapping you in the fluffy towel, with a kiss to your nose.
A comfortable silence filled the room as the two of you got ready for bed. Well really, Billie got ready for bed and then helped you do the same thing. You giggled at her focused face as she carefully dabbed moisturizer to your skin, only silencing your giggles with a kiss making both of you smile.
She had her own giggles watching your droopy eyes fight to stay open as Billie dried your hair with a towel. You absolutely melted into a puddle anytime Billie had her fingers in your hair, so her fingers mixed with a warm fluffy towel was sending you to dreamland.
When she finished, Billie helped you off the counter and gave your butt a little pat as she guided you back to your connected bedroom, shutting off the bathroom light. The two of you changed into some pjs, Billie giggled while helping you with the buttons after you whined not being able to do it right now.
“I can’t see sometimes.” You grumbled as she buttoned them with ease.
“You can’t see sometimes??” Billie asked, raising an eyebrow and biting back a smile.
“Ugh you know what I mean.” You groaned, playfully smacking her hand away once she finished.
After making sure you could get on the bed, Billie quickly went around the apartment, shutting off the lights, making sure your pets were okay, and locking the doors before returning and shutting the bedroom door behind you.
She slipped under the covers, pulling you closer to her, letting you snuggle yourself into her side like a little kitten. Once she was sure you were practically purring like one as well, Billie settled into her own pillow, letting her arm rest on your back.
“Did you write more of your song while you were in the shower?” She asked, squeezing your side quickly.
“Oh my gosh, baby I did and I forgot to tell you.” But it came out more slurred, your eyes were closed and Billie knew it would be minutes before you were fast asleep.
“That’s okay baby. You can tell me now. Sing us to sleep mama,” She whispered, kissing your cheek before settling back in your hold.
“Wait I forgot how it goes.” You were still a little drunk after all. Billie giggled trying to remember your ramblings from earlier in the night.
“I think I remember.. You kept saying “You’re my -“ and then you didn’t finish that bit. And then you were singing it in the kitchen,” Billie opened her eyes to look down at you, you seemed to be asleep at this point, but the slight furrow in your brows told her you were thinking about your little song, so she continued, whispering,
“You’re my, my, my, my….”
“Oh!! You’re my, my, my, my…” you trailed off again.
“Darling, you’re my, my, my, my…”
“Lover.”
#Spotify#billie eilish#wlw#billie eilish fluff#fanfiction#billie eilish x fem!reader#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish x y/n#billie eilish x you#billie eilish fanfiction#billie eilish fic#taylor swift#lover#billie x reader
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Exchange student: Berlin, Germany
October 01, 2024
Brad had come to Berlin as an exchange student because it was supposed to be the party capital of Europe. He was looking forward to a semester of spring break. But he quickly became disillusioned. There was hardly anyone walking around at the Technical University who looked anything like Spring Break. Most of them were dressed in black, with short hair and pale faces. Brad stood out like a sore thumb. And apart from that, Berlin was very different from what he had imagined. He had been told that Germany was so incredibly clean. Berlin was dirty and run-down. The people were unfriendly. The weather was terrible. By the time he moved into his room in the run-down student dormitory, which had probably last been renovated in the 1980s, he was homesick for Providence.
Tonight was a faculty welcome party. The building was an old factory hall, a ruin. The music was just one thing: deafeningly loud. The people at the party were all stoned or high on pills. It stank of sweat, cigarette smoke and sweet energy drinks. Brad wondered whether he could still change universities. Munich was supposed to be much more civilized than Berlin. Someone gave him a funny-looking pill. It was about 02:00 when Brad left the party. His sweater had disappeared. But it had been better than he had feared.
November 05, 2024
Monday was the day Brad recovered. There weren't usually any really good parties on Mondays. And if there were, he could make an exception. In fact, Brad was the go-to person for many of his fellow students when it came to where to go anyway. Brad was usually extremely well informed. Not necessarily about life at university… He had let his attendance at lectures slip a little in the first month. But hey, there was still ages until exams. Tonight was encore.une.fois at the OX! Of course Brad was on the guest list. From 21:00 he was in the gym, pumping up his muscles. And from 01:00 he was on the dance floor. Shit, he had expected something like Springbreak. How boring Springbreak was! Real life was raging here. All it took was a few pills, Red Bull and the right beats. And that was definitely the case today!
At 05:00 the music went off and the cleaning light came on. Brad checked his messages to find out where the best after-hours party was. There were no important lectures on Wednesdays anyway. And he was still far too wound up to sleep.
December 20, 2024
Uni was over until the new year. Actually, he should have been back in Connecticut by now. But Brad wanted to take at least this weekend to Berghain. Moritz had become his friend and business partner. The two were the shooting stars of Berlin's party organizers. Brad had collected 39K followers in the last four weeks alone. His party outfits defined what bouncers wanted to see in the clubs. Normally, DJs had groupies. Or musicians. Moritz and Brad always had a whole cluster of guys and girls hanging around them, basking in their presence and hoping to get shagged by one of them. Particularly lucky ones claimed to have been fucked by both at the same time. Whether this was true was debatable. But as a legend, it was certainly a cool story.
Their gas masks were elaborate custom-made masks that gave off a well-dosed mixture of poppers and laughing gas. Not that the two of them needed it. But it made the intoxication of a party night perfect. There were always two spare masks and the necessary cartridges in their rucksacks. To recharge their gas masks. Or to let very privileged fans share in their intoxication. It was 03:00. Too early to decide whether anyone would get that privilege tonight. Now it was time to dance. The way they only danced at Berghain.
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The fact that the Fenton parents are shown to love Danny despite being a ghost not once but TWO TIMES is more important to me as a queer adult than these people who want to turn them into inhumane monsters to project their own parental issues onto
Maybe we all just cope with stuff in different ways, but this fanon thing really goes against one of the few actually well written things in DP: Danny's ride-or-die family
THE FACT THEY DO IT TWICE IS WHAT GETS ME!!! they didn't just accept Danny once they did it again!!! In canon!!! They accept him both times! And so many people are like, "No! They're monsters! They wouldn't accept him." LIKE HONEY??? THEY DO IT TWICE IN CANON? Like AGHHHHH *scraps hands over face* I can only filter out so many "Bad parents Jack and Maddie Fenton" tags on my ao3 and still see these OOC takes on the characters. And yeah write whatever- I just wish I could fucking filter it out correctly so I don't have to see it! Tag it CORRECTLY please!
Now honestly, I do think talking about Canon Jack and Maddie they'd fall into the "cares but says dumb shit sometimes" category of accepting parents. But I do also believe that if Danny Phantom happened today's time and Danny was queer then Jack and Maddie would be the most embarrassingly pride parents at the pride parade. They would cover the fucking ghost assault vehicle in pride flags and blast how proud of their son they are at the pride parade on the things megaphone. While Danny wishes he could fucking die right there again before the embarrassment takes him.
No cops at pride, only the Fentons in the decked out assault vehicle.
#danny fantom#danny fenton#danny phantom#good parents jack and maddie#danny phantom fandom#danny phantom criticism#he speaks
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OK topical swerve but: punk is inherently about being countercultural, which is why Soviet punks were/post-Soviet punks are a bit obsessed with fascist imagery, and also why so many punks you might politically agree with are ginormous dicks personally.
I think this is an important point to introduce into discussions of the future of a hypothetical solarpunk society — when the fighting is done (and it is fighting), when the raw glory of it fades, how is a new society going to deal with the future it builds? How is it going to be sustainable? When this isn't countercultural anymore but you've built a mainstream society that still values nonconformism for its own sake, where is that going to lead?
I think some of the most important work that can be done is the type of community building that looks forward to the point where life is liveable, and then beyond it, to the next generation. This is a point that people in activist circles often forget about because, for completely understandable reasons, most people with the time to do ecofuturist activism are childless or child free — but any society is going to contain children, you know? It has to.
Is it a sustainable world we're building if we aren't, now, thinking about being able to sustain it, in terms of cultural infrastructure for its maintenance and for the raising of healthy children? In terms of the values we want to instill? All of this is to say that it's natural for sustainable healthy communitybuilding in defiance of the state to be labeled as punk /now/, but think again about what happened to the counterculture in the Soviet Union.
That's not why it collapsed, but it devoted endless needless time to beating on its youth for wanting American jeans and shit, for wanting connection with the world, and, like, what are we doing about our equivalent of our kids wanting jeans? Not that, not like, fucking statist repression, but it often seems to me like people in these circles either are still teens, finger on the pulse of how to talk to teens because they're not in an unavoidable hierarchic position of authority over people afraid of authority yet, or have never met a teenager, ever.
I want to interject to say that mythbuilding and identity construction is integral to any society, and I worry sometimes that strongly identifying living a healthy, sustainable, governmentally unexploited life with punk, with the counterculture, might lead into a repeat of history. And then — your society crumbles, because your kids that the state knows how to get to over the internet are young and dumb and buy into ideologies that subvert you out of spite, because you encouraged them to believe that they have a right to do this.
This is why hippie communes usually last a couple generations at most. The government is not as dumb as people think, and this is why most serious activists in this vein focus on making existing, recognised communities better — but even there, there are limits to the usefulness of anger. Don't plant trees and cook meals for the homeless and elderly and agitate for rail because you hate the state — you'll run out of steam.
Do it because you love your city and you'll fight until your neighbours, in all their smallminded conservatism and traumatic relation with civics and sexism and racism and old pain, have clean water and clean air and clean food.
It takes a particular kind of person to be punk to begin with, and you actually very much don't want to cultivate this type of person in a new society, or even in an activist movement to improve an old one. When things get bad enough, and there is always a bad enough for every kind of such individual, this type of person trashes everything around them because fuck you (the new authority) and then does absolutely nothing to help. They came to the commune or the movement to make coffee with Sock and Moss and to grieve their grievances, ultimately, and to feel part of something. Eventually they either get bitter and useless or run out.
No one asked, but this is why personally I don't identify myself as solar or any punk. Punk identity is transitory and fundamentally relies on there being an enemy to rebel against. I'm not pretentious enough to call myself an activist and I don't count as white enough in the US to be taken seriously as such, but in order to be something approximating an activist, you have to think about what happens after.
We fight now, but the most a warrior generation can ultimately do for the health of the community is eventually to beat their swords mostly to ploughshares. How are we going to make sure the kids maintain what we've built, without threat of harm or coercion? What do we do for the children? Eventually angry defiance has to cool down to calm, assured disobedience that knows what it's doing, or else the movement attracts a critical mass of angry, defiant, compromising people, who can't be trusted and won't be directed and don't even know what they're fighting for. Anger makes you dumb, and we can't afford to be dumb about this now that the forces we're looking at know how to break down societies like we hope to have.
We have to work with the human nature we have, and again, I think that means minimizing adversarial framing. With adversarial framing you have sides instead of communities, and if you have sides...
All of this is to say, we have got to cultivate a hopeful, resilient, disobedient activism grounded in a mature, communitarian civics, where there are no wrong kinds of people, but there is a right civic ethic.
They're very good at this in Detroit, despite everything. I used to volunteer with a guerrilla gardening initiative run by the people who taught me this.
I keep seeing people asking ‘is solarpunk really punk?’ because it’s too happy and optimistic and stuff
and I’m picturing a perfect moment in a solarpunk community — the neighbourhood mayor standing with a shit-eating grin on her face when the cops come and cut them off from city power, and nothing turns off
#lest anyone misinterpret me im not for folded hands nonviolence#i think you gotta fuck em up sometimes#i just also think you have to do it mindfully#cogently and awarely#heal yourself first then heal the community you live in#or you will twist it into your image
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if you are one of the people who goes to comment sections on jegulus or snape posts, who talks about the DE characters having a place etc etc, i hope this is a wake-up call. i really do.
if you are one of the people that throws around the word nazi when you see this content and the term nazi sympathiser to the people engaging in it? in the nicest way possible, wake the fuck up.
it's important to discuss politics in literature, absolutely. but this is a fandom space and the things people ship have absolutely no repercussions on the real world, nor does it reflect their personal views.
this does.
the richest man in the world doing two back to back nazi salutes at a presidential rally for the most powerful country on the world stage? that has repercussions worldwide.
that has the EU looking at X. that has the EU worrying about X because europe took a massive shift to the right after trump's last presidency and the german government has collapsed. that has the EU worried about the influence of a nazi salute on germany's upcoming elections next month. when the us "government" is run by someone who likes AfD (an extremist far-right german political party), and the richest man in the world stands and does a nazi salute. two, mind you. two nazi salutes back to back?
THAT has repercussions worldwide. not fictional character james potter fictionally kissing fictional character regulus black.
i am normally a lot nicer when i address these things but point blank: you are a vile fucking person if you care more about the fictional politics in a fandom space than the real politics that is playing out right now.
these words in fandom have made so many people so uncomfortable for so long. they have tried to explain how uncomfortable it is to come to their SAFE SPACE and see these words thrown around, to have them themselves be called one when they and their families have been affected.
yall ran to tiktok and cried over americans using the word sweater instead of jumper. yall ran to tiktok and said that words. have. meaning?
apply that here. words have meaning. stop throwing them around and put this energy into real world politics if you're so passionate about stamping out nazi ideology.
#'but it was an analog-' shut up shut up shut up youre literally calling people nazis#we can discuss the politics in books yes!#we should not be applying those politics to the people reading them#open up a history book and watch the fucking news#because if you think you're safe outside of america? if you think this has nothing to do with you?#then you are so uneducated it's painful#words have meaning i beggeth you to stop and let people have their escapism.#you should have woken up ages ago#none of this is a surprise. you were too busy crying about a ship to notice.#messrsrarchives political talks
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sciles season 5 breakup is soooo much it got me barking in 2025. neither of them are talking to the person in front of them! scott is talking to the person he thought he trusted most, the person who knew him better than his own mother when his life turned upside down and never quite righted itself again, the person who was there for him when he feared he may have killed someone, the person who scott's just been led to believe killed in cold blood and hid it from him, and suddenly the chilling of their dynamic can make sense, because if scott doesn't believe theo's explanation, what does that leave to explain the creeping distance between them? what's left? scott is talking to this person in an attempt to give him the benefit of the doubt despite fearing he already knows all he needs to; which is that stiles didn't trust him with this, which means he either doesn't trust scott anymore, what did scott do to make stiles not trust him anymore, or it must have been Bad, or both. it means scott's one safe place to land in this world where violence has become normalized, even and often from friendly faces, even his own father, is no longer the same safe place it had remained throughout all of it, through the worst moments of his life and before, he always had stiles. even when his mom choked on what he'd become, stiles didn't. and now stiles either doesn't trust him anymore or isn't safe anymore.
and stiles does the worst possible thing and defends the supposed violence out the gate! because he's talking to the person he's put on this pedestal, this person who he's watched up close grow from his best friend to a werewolf that could kill him in his sleep to the guy who's saved not only his life but so many others, including the most important person in his life; his dad, over and over again, he's seen scott do the impossible, and then some; even the things they grew up not knowing existed now bend for scott mccall, who no longer has asthma, who's good at lacrosse, who can get shot and stabbed and walk it off while stiles can barely keep up, and the one thing stiles has never seen him do is kill someone. stiles, who checked himself into eichen because he was afraid the thing under his skin would kill someone, and then it did, right in scott's arms, when stiles knows scott had his own version of the same thing, watched him struggle with it, watched him hurt himself just to stop and still never succumbed. true alpha scott mccall. even the laws of nature and unnature know how good he is. stiles watched the same world that tried to eat his best friend whole bow before him, and he watched people who never knew scott before they knew the werewolf look at him like he was their savior, and he didn't mean to start seeing him that way too and he doesn't know when he started to, but he did. he does, and he thinks there's no way, No Way someone like that sticks with someone who looked at a teenager turned killer in their death throes and thought about twisting the knife, self defense or no.
both of them are primed to face the worst versions of the situation and what that means for them going forward; the versions this new world has threatened to warp them into despite knowing each other before they entered it. that world swallowed them down so far they don't see each other anymore! they're ready and waiting to have their worst fears confirmed and in that fear they do the exact things to confirm it to each other!
what's more is that scott forgives countless people who've killed in cold blood and otherwise throughout the show. he has allies who've killed people when they didn't have to, when they did, allies who'd killed werewolves whether they needed to or not. hell, he allies his pack with theo a season later, the guy who fucking killed him. stiles has no reason to think scott would suddenly kick him to the curb for something like this other than projecting his own feelings of condemnation onto the pinnacle of morality in his life. the issue isn't the violence, it's the idea of stiles perpetrating it. scott has plenty of people in his life he's overlooked violence for, including his very own father, he just never thought stiles would be one of them. could be. and neither did stiles! and that shift in their dynamic scares them so much they're already mourning the loss when it's not even gone, just different. changed, like everything else in their godawful lives. they were the only thing left that hadn't, and in fearing for this loss they only doomed themselves to losing more.
#j rewatches teen wolf#sciles#yeah yeah yeah in fucking 2025#WHATever.... it's WHATEVERRRR don't even worry about it#this fandom fucking SUCKS we could have had the friendship breakup of all time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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