#it is man's fate to outsmart himself

[archiveofaffinities]

Jenny Holzer, Selection from Truisms, Painted Billboard, Installation, Central Square, Cambridge, Massachusetts, 1987

[legobiwan]

We need to talk about this. And I'm going to start right off with a contentious claim:

Ford was willing to gamble the fate of his entire dimension to feed his ego and insecurities and Bill had him pegged from Square One.

This sounds like a harsh statement. It kind of is. When we first meet Ford in the show, all we end up learning from him is that restarting the Portal was dangerous and could (and did) create a rift that would open the door for Bill and his gang to end the world. And Ford pins this entirely on Stanley, excoriating him for not listening to his warnings in the journals and doing whatever he wanted, like a set of monkeys flinging shit at walls until he happened to get it correct.

Ford is a highly unreliable narrator. After all, as Stan rightfully said, who built the portal in the first place?

But we need to go deeper.

In Journal 3, Ford speaks to the necessity of hiding his journals, which he - to be quite honest - does a crappy job of. Why keep two out of the three journals in Gravity Falls, a mere hair's breath from the actual Portal, which for some mysterious reason, Ford has declined to - you know - actually destroy? Why bury the Journals near an elementary school with children - children who tend to be curious creatures and can and will find a way to discover what they shouldn't? Why call on your estranged brother who you claim to despise as an absolute last resort? Ford's narrative, if you really start to analyze it, makes zero sense. And it makes zero sense because it's an edifice, a personal mythology meant to be a bulwark against the horrible truth of Ford's motivations.

"I've stared at the fire, journals in hand, for hours. I just can't do it. The knowledge in here could be a gift to mankind, the portal's potential limitless. Am I really going to destroy it all just out of spite? No, I won't give HIM the satisfaction. Instead of destroying my work, I'll find a way to DESTROY BILL INSTEAD. If Cipher has a weakness, I'll find it. I'll outsmart the devil yet! He may be a god, but I am a scientist."

Ford could have ended this thirty years ago if his ego hadn't gotten in the way. All he had to do was burn the journals and destroy the portal, just like every other human Bill tried to con over the years. How much did Ford actually care about the end of the world as much as he cared about Bill's betrayal and losing his earth-shattering (quite literally) research?

He didn't. And given this, is it a surprise that Bill, when he finally was able to breach dimensions and start Weirdmaggedon, still placed bets that Ford would join him in the end? The man who said, "Fuck the universe, I need everyone to know I was right."

This isn't about the possible apocalypse. Ford doesn't make one, single mention of that here, doesn't seem to give one fuck if the world burns, as long as he can prove himself to be better than Bill and better than everyone who doubted him for all his life.

And this is why, I am certain, that when Bill perused Ford's possible futures, a large majority ended up with Ford turning to the dark side, as it were.

There's a reason Ford pulled these journal pages. They don't fit his self-constructed narrative of the heroic martyr who wants to save the world. Ford edits his own story again and again, pushing everyone away so they won't see just how insecure and absolutely desperate for validation he is.

Sound like someone we know? Maybe a yellow triangle who literally outlines the steps to denial in his teenage angst journal?

Bill, in essence, promised Ford the universe. Yes, literally, but also the universe in terms of what Ford always wanted - recognition and revenge. Ford, by not destroying the Portal or his journals, didn't 100% reject this proposal, even if that equivocation was subconscious. It's why - I think - Bill feels Ford's just put him "on read" after he fell through the Portal (according to Alex Hirsch).

Ford's going to have to come to terms with this. Maybe he did during his time in the Portal. We have no idea how much Ford did or didn't mellow while being stuck on the other side of the universe, although we do know a) he still holds a massive grudge against his brother and b) Bill is still able to play him like a lyre when he asks about the equation to pop the bubble around Gravity Falls. (And I do not for one second believe that Ford was trying to buy time when he admits that "Of course, a simple equation could collapse the barrier," when Bill questions him about it. Ford needs to prove that he knows the answer, that he figured it out, that he's a scientist and outsmarted a god. Again, if the kids and Stan hadn't come to Ford's rescue, it's very hard to say where Ford would have landed in the end).

The thing is, there's a part of Ford that realizes he's being an ass, that he needs someone. We see this with Bill, obviously, with Fiddleford in the ways Ford runs so incredibly hot and cold with the man (I need you, no I don't need you) - with Stan, who is a last resort but the only person Ford trusts enough to summon to Oregon. Because Ford didn't need Stan to destroy the journals or the portal - but he needed someone, maybe he needed a dollar-store Bill in his life, maybe he just needed someone to reach out like that. Ford fucks it up, wildly, as he can't let his ego go and allow Stan (who is being extremely practical, if bitter) to burn the journals like Ford should have weeks previous.

And well, we all know how that turned out.

What I'm curious about - and what I think needs to be covered more in fandom - is how Ford deals with all of this post-Weirdmaggedon. He's obviously in contrition mode at this point, swinging wildly to this penitent, self-abusing figure who will claim fault for the tiniest infraction.

That's not going to last him long. The type of change and self-reflection Ford needs is not going to come overnight. At some point, his uglier tendencies are going to rear their head on the Stan O'War and Stan is going to have to weather the blowback (or just throw his brother overboard). One might say Ford himself needs a little time the Theraprism, as he nearly consigned his own reality to damnation just like Bill did.

I love Ford. I adore Ford. He is so, so, so complicated. But ohhh boi, Fordsy, do you have issues with a Capital "I".

[nynyhaha]

Spider Themes: Phantom Troupe and fate (plus Chrollo character song analysis)

THIS is the moment that lead tons of fans to believe that Chrollo is a determinist,or at least a fatalist,believing that certain things cannot be avoided and that people lack the free will to act otherwise.

I haven’t seen any other proof of Chrollo being a determinist and I think it’s not that relevant to his character so this idea being so popular annoys me,and yet,there are lots of time where Chrollo is confronted with the idea of fate.

Why doesn’t he blame Judas?

There are multiple ideas

-his betrayal was bound to happen and he had no free will

-regardless of will,his actions were justified because it resulted in the greater goal being achieved(and Chrollo sees Jesus’ death as as important as his own death in a scenario where the Spiders have to chose.Chrollo would want them to sacrifice him for the Spider,and this scene hints at that)

-anyone willing to betray the organisation for money or fame was never a true member

-Chrollo doesn’t take anything personally and he doesn’t judge other people for their actions because he expects very little of them (we know this isn’t true for his Spiders,but it seems to be that way with Hisoka. He doesn’t blame Hisoka for being what he is)

This point is also illustrated in the flashback chapters where young Chrollo doesn’t get angry at his bullies even once. He’s not mad at Uvo,Phinks or Feitan,he outsmarts them or outruns them,but still sees them as part of his circle and never acts aggressively.

He doesn’t even appear to hate Kurapika or care much for his motives,since he accepted the fact that people will come after him for a multitude of reasons. He doesn’t care how good those reasons are.

The prophecy

Neon’s prophetic ability is meant to help people see the potential future,it’s not presented as being self fulfilling,in which case it would be a scam. The idea is that you can gain knowledge of your potential fate,and chose the course of action accordingly.

Chrollo trusts the ability since he uses it to make important decisions,like whether to stay in yorknew.

If he can use it to his advantage and cheat fate,how could he be a fatalist??

Our will above all else

The phantom troupe is incredibly strong as a group,yet they retain qualities of underdogs. They were born in the most marginalised community possible,in a place that doesn’t officially exist,and yet they’re now feared and infamous.

They won’t allow the world to take from them

They will impose their will on others.

Uvo’s requiem

I will never shut up about it.

It perfectly represents the nature of the Phantom Troupe and Chrollo’s philosophy.

We know Chrollo believes in souls,but does a man who sits in a broken Church and wears upside down crosses believe in any just god? There’s no way Chrollo isn’t a nihilist when it comes to ultimate justice. He expressed those doubts even as a child,and it seems that while he now thinks souls exist,he doesn’t rely on any afterlife.

He never relied on justice from above,he always took matters in his own hands. Believing in souls may mean that he sees death as a change of state,and sees murder as more forgivable since “everyone ends up in the same place anyways”but this is just speculation.

Only he can improve Uvo’s situation.

Uvogin’s soul soon will be gone,who knows where. Chrollo can’t change that,he doesn’t even know if Uvo hears him. But he will fulfil his wish. He will send other souls off in Uvo’s honour. He will show that his life and death mattered. It’s an attempt to reclaim agency,however futile it may be,it seems Chrollo wants to prove something to the universe.

People are the ones who sever ties

Doesn’t this run contrary to his ideas about traitors? It sounds here like he expects loyalty from those close to him. Or does he mean that he himself won’t forget things unless he cuts them off?

He can’t feel less responsible for the deaths of his friends and he can’t forget his place in the world,can’t detach himself from it.

Hi identity is still tied to external things. And it means all of the things he has lost,all of the humanity he has shed were deliberate sacrifices. Like he resigned himself to give up his life for his goals.

It’s very much a show of will.

The coin

It’s a practical way to resolve conflicts. While it’s thrown by a person,and the outcome can be random, therefore unbiased,it could also be them calling to fate to decide who gets his way.

“May happen what is meant to happen”

This leads to no conclusion,but it’s absolutely related to fate so I’ll mention it here.

1/13 analysis

I have no idea how canon this song is,but it’s a great interpretation of the information we have in canon. It touches on many themes crucial to Chrollo and his Troupe. I’m using the translation from the wiki,I don’t know Japanese and honestly I prefer the translation from the YouTube lyric video

This song mentions almost everything I’ve talked about in this post,and even more.

“..From the beginning”

They were doomed from the beginning. Even if they wanted something innocent and simple as dubbing anime,finding purpose in entertaining the masses.

First Chrollo rejects the notion of life,then he goes on to deny fate.

But he also approves them. “As if” The Troupe doesn’t act in accordance with reality and what it has in store for them,they act as if none of those things were real.

Life not existing means it’s meaningless and because of the horrible conditions Chrollo grew up in,he and the others were never given a chance of any life worth living. Life is real,but not for them. It’s something they deny themselves,something they abandon in favour of their duty and goal.

Fate might refer to both,inaction,staying anonymous nobodies,and doing something,surpassing themselves,and then dying a horrible death.

If there is a fate,can they know what it is?

Is Chrollo following his destiny,or acting in spite of it? If only he knew,haha. Maybe it’s not his choice to become a murder,maybe it was meant to be from the beginning. Or maybe he was meant to do nothing and be nothing,yet he refused.

”When we’ve obtained everything,we will disappear without a trace”

Went from actors to phantoms,got it? ;) This line brings in a sense of finality,of inevitability. So he knows they won’t live forever,that there is a limit. Sure,it could be referring to them being impossible to track,but I chose to believe there is more,since Chrollo touches on the possibility of them actually dying.

In that case,should they “separate and face eternity” the Spider’s Soul will live on. Or it must live on! Pretty spiritual, huh.

I love that while everything hints at his views being nihilistic,Chrollo’s spirituality is almost hopeful.

So is his song.It talks both to the enemy (you can’t run from us) and his fellow Spiders. He tells them to just steal,to consult the coin if needed,to trust that the Spider will live on and everything will be fine.

“What is there to fear?” I’m gonna cry,I swear.

This song also has this notion that whatever happens,happens.

“Que sera,sera” and shit. It shows acceptance of things that shouldn’t be accepted. Even his own feelings at the loss of his friends Chrollo acknowledges,and then ignores.

“Can’t be blamed.” He can’t blame himself for still feeling those things,but he just dismisses them. “You will want to sneeze at dust,it’s normal,but hold it in.” = “You will cry at deaths,feel grief and anger. Those reactions are normal,but don’t let it affect you”🗿🧍

What has pride to do with this? I’m genuinely confused. If this mf telling us to be humble? Is it prideful to expect no one to die? Or is this the typical “detach yourself from your feelings”?

Conclusion: Chrollo is seen as a fatalist because of his stoic attitude. The only way (according to HxH fans) to deal with what he goes through,is to tell himself it’s meant to be. I propose that no,he doesn’t think so. He thinks that regardless of fate,he can outsmart it and come out on top. Even if he loses people in the process,in the end it will be worth it. And even if he feels grief at their deaths,that’s just what happens. It didn’t stop him until now. All that just to steal? No,Ofc not. He just doesn’t know how to express his motives.

DO YOU EVEN HAVE CLEAR MOTIVES,CHROLLO? Your journey leads you to nowhere,and we don’t even know where it all went wrong

[teejaystumbles]

For Sandtober #6, "golden", and the Monsterfucktober bingo square "undead", I present you something based on one of the books that left an impression on my teenage mind and now that is all I can think of when I get "bones" and "gold" in relation to one another -

Servant of the Bones AU

In Babylon, about 600 years BC, Hob, a young handsome shepherd, is forced to become the new statue of the god Marduk but through a secret ritual conducted by a witch does not die and is made into an undying spirit who has to serve whoever owns his bones. The witch botches up the ritual and dies, leaving Hob with his mind his own - even if he has to obey the bones’ current master, he is able to think for himself and over the centuries he outsmarts a lot of his crueler masters, leading to their demise and to the box being inscribed with more and more warnings not to summon what is inside.

First AU variant: In 2022, Dream Endlos [lol let’s give him the German name variant for once], a successful author of books and screenplays, buys an old mansion (Fawney Rig) which is full of old occult stuff from the previous owner. While he sorts through the stuff he comes to the conclusion that he’ll have to hire an expert to ascertain the value of a lot of objects. He trips over a box on his way out and it falls over and unlatches, revealing a glimmer of gold inside. Curious, Dream opens it and finds the golden bones of what seems to be a complete human skeleton. The box is inscribed with ancient warnings in almost every language from cuneiform to hieroglyphs to Greek and Latin. Dream is both horrified and fascinated.

He reverently places the bones back inside the box, carefully handles the skull and wonders about the person they belonged to. He goes to bed, his mind spinning with possible scenarios and stories concerning the bones, the box, the warnings. He lies awake for hours. Late at night he gets up again and goes back downstairs. He takes the box back up into his bedroom and sits before it. “Who were you?” he asks the box, and there is a quiet whisper of a man’s voice near his ear. “My name. Is Hob.”

Second AU variant (that I like almost better because I know how it would end): 

Burgess gets his hands on the bones after he captures Dream. He uses Hob to try and get Dream to talk, in so far as that he sends him down to talk to Dream and learn his secrets, in the hopes it might work because Hob is a supernatural being. Hob is fascinated with Dream immediately and tells him that he should not talk to him so he won’t have to betray anything to Burgess. “You mustn’t tell me anything important, I cannot lie to my master. If he commands me to tell him what you said I’ll have to answer. But I can tell you about a lot of things, if you’re bored. You must be bored, right?”

Dream is in turn fascinated with Hob and his strange curse and after a while they talk about unimportant things, things they like and dislike, they tell each other stories. Hob tells Dream how he was made into what he is against his will. Dream aches with sympathy. Burgess is frustrated because he gets no results. Maybe he also tries to have Hob use force on Dream but luckily the magic circle and spells make it impossible for Hob to enter the sphere Dream is held in. Events happen like in episode 1, Alex inherits Hob’s bones but barely uses him to do anything because he’s almost more scared of Hob than he is of Dream. Hob talks to Paul more than he talks to Alex and he tries to subtly influence the man to let Dream go. It takes decades but eventually Paul is showing signs of having had enough. Hob warns Dream to be alert and begs him to please take his bones with him if he escapes. Events unfold like in canon and Dream breaks free. He leaves without Hob’s bones, too weak to search for them right away. He knows where they are but he can’t get them without reclaiming his power first. 

Hob thinks Dream has left him to his fate and is full of sadness and despair. He returns to the bones, his master caught in an eternal waking nightmare. Paul takes the bones and calls on him to help Alex, but Hob can't help and so he ignores the pleas and doesn't even manifest. Paul is frustrated and puts the bones into a safe and out of his mind. When Dream has got the sand, helm and ruby back he goes back to Fawney Rig and searches for Hob. He finds his bones and takes them with him to the Dreaming, putting them into his own private rooms. Hob does not answer him and Dream pleads for forgiveness and begs Hob to come back to him. Only when he places a kiss on the forehead of the golden skull do the bones start to vibrate and come together and Hob is able to form himself a new body, with the help of the power of the Dreaming, a body that holds his bones and is free of the box so he will not be bound to any master ever again. :)

[lolokouhm]

Imagine Megumi being a kitsune and he finds love with a shrine maiden! Reader who previously took care of him when he was in fox form? Feel free to make this fluffy or smut, idk.

thinking about Kitsune!Megumi, whose heart and soul break into a million pieces after the tragic death of his beloved goddess.

thinking about Kitsune!Megumi, who leaves the shrine and wanders for 300 years in his fox form, killing, destroying and toying with human lives, trying to forget about his own, burning pain - without any success. he cannot comprehend it - why would she give her life for these worthless creatures? his rampage goes on, and as his soul gets ripped to shreds with every kill, he's finally left with nothing, but an overwhelming emptiness and complete disregard for every life, including his own.

thinking about Kitsune!Megumi, who gets outsmarted for the first time in his lifetime by no other, than a mere human. it's a stupid trap - a trick he shouldn't have fallen for. maybe he's just tired. maybe he just doesn't care anymore. maybe he wants to die.

thinking about Kitsune!Megumi, who didn't expect that the one who would bring the death to him would have such delicate hands. even though he is barely conscious when your fingers graze over his bristling fur, Megumi is still able to hear your rapid heartbeat and feel your warmth when you scoop his limp body into your arms and press it tightly to your chest - if he had just a little more strength, he'd gladly open his eyes to see what kind of creature is that soft, but his eyelids are simply too heavy.

thinking about Kitsune!Megumi, who is more than surprised when he wakes up in the morning and finds out that, apparently, he's not dead yet. what's even more surprising - he's not alone. and when you open your mouth and say how relieved you are that he woke up, he finally gets it. he almost laughs at how perverse fate can be, looking at your pure smile and traditional outfit. you are a shrine maiden, and, judging by the looks of the room he's in, he's at a shrine. again.

thinking about Kitsune!Megumi who is still recovering, but the wounds don't heal well at all, despite your best efforts. you don't give up though - you feed him (even though he doesn't really eat at first), apply the ointment to his wounds and talk to him, even when he pretends he's asleep. at first, he finds it incredibly irritating, but as you babble and ramble about the life in the shrine for days, even weeks, Megumi starts to grow fond of your stories.

thinking about Kitsune!Megumi, who's gone when you enter the room after a few weeks. right before you start to panic, a ridiculously handsome, dark-haired young man enters the room, dressed in neat, traditional robes and just one look into his eyes is enough to know who he is. you stare at Megumi, standing right in front of you, in his human form, arms crossed, as a soft, quiet "thank you" leaves his lips, and your cheeks burn brighter than ever when his cold, immense gaze falls on your face.

thinking about Kitsune!Megumi, who finally talks to you, and even though your conversations still mostly consist of you saying some shit and him listening to it, they feel... good. there's a warmth to you he felt when you held him for the first time and Megumi still feels it - and finds it incredibly captivating.

thinking about Kitsune!Megumi, who finds himself making a contract with the deity of the shrine, just to be able to stay close to you. it seems like the warmth is contagious, because as the time goes, he starts to feel it not only when you're by his side, but also when he simply thinks of you - and that's a very dangerous territory. a territory that comes with overwhelming guilt for his past actions.

thinking about Kitsune!Megumi, who gets more curious about you in the next months, spends more time with you and wants to get closer to you - to the point it physically hurts. he knows your touch - you've touched him countless times, but for some reason, he longs for it in this form, in the human one. he'd sometimes walk past you in the gardens and play with a strand of your hair, just to get this little, cute giggle out of you - a sound so heavenly, it drives him insane. but that's all he can do. he simply cannot let himself stain you - after all, you're pure. so pure, and he's just filthy. the feeling grows and grows - until he cannot stand it anymore.

thinking about Kitsune!Megumi, who just confesses to you. right in the middle of the night, under the moonlight, sitting on a wooden bench. With shaking hands and trembling voice, Megumi tells you all about the past, his past, and he cannot even look at you - he just doesn't want to see the disgust and the hatred in your eyes. no, he cannot see that - that would be too much to bear, a price he's not prepared to pay, at least not now. before he knows it, he cannot see anything at all, as the guilt and the pain he couldn't get rid of crawls out of him - and he cries. the tears fall down his beautiful face, more and more of them, and even though the feeling is weirdly relieving itself, the true purification comes in form of your warm hands on his cheeks.

thinking about Kitsune!Megumi, who spends the night in your arms, confessing not only his crimes, but also his feelings - and just before the exhaustion worth of 300 years of pain gets the best of him, he can feel your lips on his forehead, as light as a feather and hotter than fire. you don't hate him. you couldn't hate him. and by the time he falls asleep, you make sure he knows that.

thinking about the shrine's deity, who's more than content to see the reincarnation of her best friend find her way back to the one she loved. and even though love is the most twisted curse of all, it still is an incredibly beautiful one, isn't it?

[dailyadventureprompts]

Mystery: Daughters of the Drossyard Pact

Originally intended to be sacrifices n a fiendish ritual , three orphan sisters managed to outsmart the warlock who’d adopted them and managed to offer him in their stead, Inadvertently becoming the beneficiaries of his profane dealings. Decades later, with the renewal of the pact looming one of the sisters has gone missing, leaving the other two in a lurch fearing the other had something to do with it. One sister desperately wishes to be free of the deal,  while the other may be willing to do anything to hold on to the power it has granted her. Neither trusts the other but both want the party’s aid in discovering the fate or whereabouts of their missing sibling.

Adventure Hooks: 

A pious noblewoman by the name of Lia Rolland initially hires our heroes to investigate the disappearance of a local playwright she serves as patron to as well as look into the strange occurrences around the theater which have only seemed to escalate since. Sleuthing around turns up a gaggle of disgruntled actors and stagehands stretched to the breaking point by an endless series of accidents and mishaps and delays. On top of everything else, prior to her disappearance Mecona, the playwright,  kept insisting on revising the piece over and over again and was prone to bringing production to a halt for days at a time while she buried herself in rewrites, which is why no one initially noticed that she was gone.  If the party are careful with their questions they may just discover that lowborn Mecona and highborn Lia are apparently sisters, a truth discovered by a snooping costumer looking in on one of their meetings. 

As it turns out, the strange occurrences are the fault of a host of dark spirits that have taken up residence in the forgotten corners of the theater, who’ve been amusing themselves by causing all kinds of minor chaos. Inevitably the party will be victim to a few of their cruel pranks or sabotauge, escilating until have to fight an entire possessed prompts department and worse as the demons boil out like a kicked hornet’s nest. 

 Into the chaoic (and potentially burning) theater strides Doc Briar, a scarred and swaggering practitioner of dark magic who aids the party in putting down the fiendish threat before warning them not to trust their employer and portaling out.  Briar will be shadowing them for the rest of the adventure just in case they get into any more scrapes, though it appears she has a motive of her own. 

Background: Once there were three orphan sisters, Rose, Camellia, and Poesy, their parents and last name taken from them by an awful war that saw them bourne from the smouldering remains of village to the big city. For years they were overlooked in the crowds of other refugees, falling ever deeper through the cracks until they were atlast taken in by a cold-eyed man who saw them brought up as servants in his great an empty house. Warry Camellia suspected the man had torrid plans for them, but ever-practical Rose was willing to put up with anything if it meant the  younger two would be saved from the street.

The cold-eyed man did have designs on the sisters, but they were far more sinister than what cruel old men usually do to those who are dependant on them. The man was an occultist of great ambition, and had spent his life seeking the means of summoning a fiend capable of granting his desire for power. After much dark dealing he’d found one, Calceinatis the profaner, but her summoning ritual required betrayal on the part of the summoner. Thinking himself clever he brought the three sisters into his home, taught them the basics of his magic,  and claimed that he’d take the most promising of the girls not only as his apprentice, but as rightfully acknowledged heir to all his wealth and holdings.  Over the next few years the cold-eyed man moved his favor from one girl to the next, hoping to stoke resentment and envy between the sisters, laying the groundwork for that most nessisary betrayal.

It was reticent Cammellia was his eventual selection, passing over Rose who wanted it most and young impressionable Posey to whom he was most like an actual father.  He passed the middle sister off to his peers as his bastard,  an indiscretion from years back that he had sheltered out of shame and only now worked up the courage to admit. Society applauded him for it, and he grinned as he introduced his “daughter” to polite society, thinking of how the other two must have watched their sister from the back rooms with covetous hatred. 

It would take a fool not to notice that the sisters had been on to his game for years, but the cold-eyed man was not just a fool, he was hollow hearted and narrow minded, ignorant of the bonds of love and convinced that all people were as motivated by the promise of power and station as he was.  While the sisters couldn’t know exactly what he had planned, they’d swore to stick by eachother no matter what, and so when their benefactor took them out to the great ash dusted badlands at the foot of the mountains as part of Cammellia’s “ascension ritual” they knew they had to act soon.   The rite had barely begun before the cold-eyed man tossed the sacrificial knife between the girls, claiming that he needed only one blood offering and the other two would be greatly rewarded if they did the deed. He drew close as the girls squabbled over the blade, unwilling to deny himself the violence that would lead him to everything he wanted, the oft imagined vision of young veins sliced open and spilling forth everything he could have wanted. 

The Cold-eyed man never could have imagined that his girls, his pawns, his wretched little orphans, would drive the knife into his belly with all the stregth their little arms could muster. That three little sets of hands would pull as one to tear open his fine suit and spill his guts into the ashen earth. 

He was still alive when the demon loomed over him, two sets skulls grinning, he was still alive when the sharp bear fangs started in on his flesh while the goat congratulated the girls on their marvelous betrayal and the boons they would be granted for this fine offering, he was still alive when the blunt goat teeth started in on his bones while the bear intoned that if the sisters wanted to keep these gifts they would need to return to this spot every sixth year and use the same knife to spill a few drops of their own blood or else… The demon did not finish what it was saying, the cold eyed man had finally died and so the meal was done. It disapeared, leaving Rose, Camellia, and Poesy to drag their father/employer’s body back to civilization, claiming to have been the victim of some savage animal attack. 

Motivations & Complications: 

Lia Rolland  (Cammellia): Forced to maintain the deception that she was the illgotten daughter of the man she helped murder has put Lia in a bind. She would like nothing more than to abandon his legacy and the pact but the resources granted to her but necessity has forced her time and again to rely on both. Wealth allowed her to support her sisters into adulthood, and the few supernatural abilities she’s allowed herself have seen her through hard times as she’s made a family and become a patron of the arts. She’d never break the pact on her own, fearing that all the good things in her life would be stripped away, but she’s terrified Briar has given in to her powerhungry nature and hurt or even killed Mecona to strike a new bargin with the demon of the drossyard.

Doc Briar (Rose):  A life spent looking out for two younger sisters convinced Briar that she need to do whatever it took to gain control of her life, which led to her fully embracing the gifts of the pact. She suspects Lia has done something with Mecona to ensure the pact cannot be restruck, and has hired the party as cover. Knowing she’s on a deadline for the next renewal of the ritual, she aims to track down both her sisters and convince them to return to the drossyard. Failing that, steal the knife and get a bit of Lia’s blood which she can hopefully use to stave off the demon for another half-decade. 

Mecona (Poppy):  Barely old enough to remember her parents before she and her sisters were taken in by the cold-eyed man, Poppy was the only one he seemed to show actual parental affection for, if only out of an attmept to make the other two resent their most innocent sibling. This gaslighting seeded her mind with confusion and guilt as to whether the cold-eyed man really meant them any harm, and if they were really without blame for killing their abuser.  These troubled feelings led her to the arts and later to the stage writing under an assumed name, having developed a real talent for portraying complicated relationships that resonated with  audiences.  As the sixth anniversary of the pact rolled around her guilt over the mater came to a boil (were they really any better than the old man if they benefited from the same dark magic as he intended to use them for?), she decided to isolate herself, let the pact end, and see just what her sisters would do with the matter. 

Calceinatis: What the daughters of the drossyard do not yet realize is that they are once again being manipulated, this time by the fiend whispering in their minds and stoking their darker impulses. Sometime while devouring the old warlock’s soul the profaner realized that the three young women could be useful tools in feeding it again, but realized it would have to play the long game if it wanted them to truely turn the knife on eachother.  By feeding Rose’s ambition, Camellia’s fear, and Poppy’s regret, the Drossyard demon has separated the sisters and set them against eachother just as the cold-eyed man once did, Now all she has to do is sit back, wait, and let momentum carry one of the three past the point of no return. 

If you want to use this in your game, why not take a look at my How to run mysteries for d&d post. 

[toastandjamie]

Gimme minute because this is just me rambling so forgive any weirdness in it

One thing about Mat’s character arc in the books that I just obsess over is this idea of Running From Fate and how people react to it

Mat spends the first four books desperately trying to escape being Ta’veren. Desperately wanting to Not Be Part Of This. And all of the Ta’veren have this exact thought process and yet Mat is the only one to actually be criticized for it, by both the audience and the characters in story; and I genuinely think it’s because Mat is just so upfront about the selfishness of running from fate. Rand and Perrin both also want to escape their individual fates and do things that hurt others in order to try and escape, but both of them have this almost shield from the criticism of it because they still Do What Is Right. And they both actively talk about how they Have To. It’s just what a man does. Duty is heavier than a mountain and death lighter than a feather and so forth. Now Mat as our resident trickster could almost be considered an anti-hero in our modern analysis terms(something the show seems really keen on leaning into) so unlike his friends he doesn’t feel the same obligation to do The Right Thing. At least consciously considering he almost always does the right thing regardless. The difference being that Mat always faces these situations in steps, having to work himself into the conclusion that it’s either actually beneficial to him or that it won’t have any negative effect on him. The big thing for him is his personal safety and enjoyment. And he is very upfront about that, and openly acknowledges the selfishness of his own actions, to the point that he actively ignores his own heroic or unselfish acts because he doesn’t want to acknowledge the fact that he’s just as much of a sucker as his friends are.

Now because Mat is so vocally open in dialogue and internal monologues about his selfish intentions it’s very easy for other characters to dismiss him and criticize him. And some members of the audience who take him at face value will also do the same. Unlike the other Ta’veren who despite feeling the same way Mat does they don’t accept the reality of their desire for freedom from the pattern.

Now as I said Mat only spends the first four books with this attitude because in Book five Mat’s character development hits a major turning point(until it’s reset when Sanderson takes over anyways) and that’s the Melindra and Rhavin incident. Melindra spends a lot of time trying to lure Mat into evil with offers of power and glory, but keeps failing because these are the things Mat is explicitly trying to avoid and escape, though he appreciates the wealth and luxury he is receiving as a consequence. Rand has to really force Mat into agreeing to go fight Sammael and that’s when Melindra turns on Mat and the whole Mat kills his girlfriend thing happens and it’s very traumatic for him. However it’s how he responds to this that is interesting. Mat has been running from fate, and fate has been pushing back H A R D. The consequences of running, of his desperate attempts at escaping or finding work arounds time and time again has resulted in him or others he cares about getting hurt. Whether it’s Rand forcing him to agree to fight Sammael tipping Melindra over to try and kill him, going to the Finn to find answers on how to escape his fate and getting prophecies he doesn’t want and hung on tree with other men’s memories shoved in his head for his trouble, or even taking the Shadar Logoth dagger and keeping it in spite of the warnings because he believed that by stealing it he could outsmart Mordreth’s curse. So what do you do when you’ve run as hard as you can and not only has it been for nothing because you keep ending up in it regardless but you keep getting hurt by trying to fight it? You embrace it. Accept what comes with gritted teeth and hold on for desr life hoping fate doesn’t drown you. You make the best of the situations your in and make use of the tools you’ve been given. Whether it’s embracing his role as a general, helping Rand and lord Bashere make battle plans and training the Band to be the most efficient and deadly army it can be or choosing to get to know the evil future empress of the enemy as a real person because you’re fated to marry her and you want to love the person you marry-or at the very least tolerate her.

You can judge Mat, say he’s cowardly or lacks real convictions. That he’s selfish or ungrateful. However the other characters are just as willing to bend their own moral codes to protect themselves and their loved ones. Mat is simply one of the only ones to openly acknowledge it for what it is and I think that’s what bothers many of the characters in the series- as well as some readers- Mat doesn’t tend to make excuses for his behavior, whether it’s him running away or embracing it, Mat doesn’t make excuses for the consequences fate puts on him. He really is, Just A Guy and No Bloody Hero.

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

I’ve been out of the loop for batim/batdr for so long how did it change the lore?

none of the ink creatures are sacrificed staff members forced into a fate worse than death anymore. they're just ink creatures in a parallel dimension that joey drew made bc he was feeling pissy

in addition, it's not the real henry in there. joey was mad at henry so he made a fake henry just to torture him over and over

then allison was his Friend and so he decided to add her to the torture labyrinth to make things easier on fake henry. didnt stop the torture labyrinth tho

then he made himself a daughter out of ink and he wasn't the big evil corporate boss at all he was the Awesome Dad who encourages audrey to use her imagination and hope and shit. entire second game just forgot that he was supposed to be the villain

also in a very fanservicey way, bendy now can turn into his cute lil demon form and be audrey's little brother

a lot of people like it but it really really felt like fanservice above story to me. mascot horror isn't always like, good horror, but the first bendy really WAS. it had a great aesthetic, great designs, and was really effective in the implications of being sacrificed to an "and i must scream" demonic existence by one man's pride and lack of care (ie: capitalism) and the second game was just like "actually joey drew was a good guy the whole time and the real bad guy is this Random Obviously Evil Employee over in the corner and audrey's fixing the torture labyrinth so there's a little less torture <3"

i did like the idea of color animation being an anti-bendy threat but they literally did fuckall with that, just had the new bad guy like... mention it?? and then do nothing with it.

i feel like part of it also might have been that "trying to outsmart the fandom" thing. a popular theory, at least in my circles, was that henry was a bendy creature– the sacrificed staff had to be "perfect" for the role (IE: the two alice angels) and the first bendy was made without souls and that's why it was fucked up, and then joey realized the perfect bendy was his creator so he yeeted henry in, and that's why we never see our own hands or reflection + respawn in ink + sammy lawrence tries to sacrifice us immediately. god how fucking cool would it have been to, like, hear henry over loudspeakers trying to help us, and then we walk into the room he's in and just see BENDY.

but yeah no bendy's just a cute lil guy in the corner who can sometimes hulk into the ink monster bc... that was a thing in fanfics? joey drew is a good guy and good dad and the real enemy is the exploited worker. FUCK the original game's really good horror and atmosphere amiright

anyway i get why people like it i guess but hhh it really doesn't land for me. honestly im just pretending the first game is the only canon it was way more interesting

[blues824]

hi! could i request the octavinelle trio, riddle rosehearts and vil schoenheit with a “go with the flow” wise type s/o, like when they first arrived in twisted wonderland they were rather chill about it and said something about letting fate guide them and being scarily nonchalant about being taken to an entire different universe!!! they spew random advice all the time which turns out to always be helpful and because people at nrc are usually very standoffish seeing someone giving them random advice and a parting line like “ you did not ask for advice but it’s advice you needed, may you find peace in yourself” and just drifting away is so bizarre?? very much a pacifist and will try to avoid fighting, but if they have to fight they will absolutely win, clean your wounds that they caused give you a world changing life lesson, basically a oogway/uncle iroh mix s/o and g/n please! because just imagining a person from another universe basically outsmarting and out wording an entire school with meditation, tea and an hour long conversation is really funny in my head! love your work so much!

For the advice given in each character, read it aloud. It will make sense as to why I worded the phrases that way… except for Vil’s.

Riddle Rosehearts

Is most definitely concerned about your mental health and wellbeing. You were literally transported to a whole other world and your response was I guess this is where the universe has led me.

Once, Riddle was angry (when is he not) at Ace for ‘tarnishing the name of the Heartslabyul dorm and therefore the Queen herself’. You just put a calming hand on his shoulder and told him: You didn’t ask for advice but it’s advice you need for if you look within yourself, you will then feel complete.

It only became apparent when he overblotted and you packed him the f up (respectfully and out of necessity) that he was standing in his own way. He asked how you knew he needed to be told that and you shrugged, telling him that his vibes were just off but he had potential as you sat patching him up.

From that day on, he will join you in your meditation schedule because he knows that it can be very calming. He’s noticeably calmed down and became more lenient towards rule-breakers. Sure, they still get punished, but they get punished by adding more chores rather than collaring them.

Azul Ashengrotto

He is intrigued by your unique way of thinking compared to the other humans he has met. In fact, he can’t recall ever meeting a mer-person like this either. He was a bit surprised to hear you say I guess the wind shifted the sails after being teleported to Twisted Wonderland.

Once, when Azul was worried about losing profit and you just appeared out of nowhere and told him: You’re forgetting to take care of yourself because you worry about money, but it’s all for nothing. Now isn’t that funny?

It wasn’t until after his overblot that he realized the true meaning behind your words. He was just too dumb to notice. As you patched him up, he told you about his revelation and you giggled and said: Right on, man. Knew you’d get there eventually.

You will help him out with lessening his workload just so he has time to look after himself. Whenever he feels his stress levels rising, you lead him in some meditation. Your voice was just so gentle that he was having trouble not falling asleep. He tries to pay you for your efforts but you refuse, saying the universe brought you for a reason and that reason was to help a cecaelia in distress.

Jade Leech

He has somewhat similar viewpoints. He’s a go-with-the-flow person as well, and won’t often be derailed by inconveniences. However, he loves resorting to violence, which goes against your ideology.

Once, you saw that Jade was ‘hugging’ someone because they accidentally knocked over one of his mushroom planters and you came by and said: Bro, if you don’t let this go… it will drag you down deeper, more than you know

Of course, when he didn’t stop, you resorted to the last option. Absolutely smacking the shit out of him with a broom. Of course, you applied ice to the bruises and helped him, but this ordeal gave him a taste of a different side of you.

You’re actually glad to hear that he likes gardening, because it’s such a calming activity that allows you to give back to Mother Earth. You often go to his room or the greenhouse to meditate so that you can be one with nature. He joins you every once in a while, but no more than twice a week.

Floyd Leech

We all know how this man is. Mood swings left and right, ‘violence is always the solution’ mentality, the list goes on. He finds it amusing how you just randomly teleported here and your first words were: Fate has given me another adventure today.

Once, when Floyd was in a depressive mood, you came by and sat next to him. He was about to send you away when you said: Dude, your chakras aren’t aligned, not like how nature had you designed.

He didn’t get it at all until he actually observed you. You were always peaceful and serene, often found in a positive mood. It wasn’t until once when you pushed him away to save a baby bird outside that you gave off a negative vibe.

Floyd then decides to tag along with you. He still plays basketball, but he meditates and always makes time to go on walks to relieve stress. You’ve even given him mint and chamomile tea bags because they had soothing properties. Nowadays, he’s usually happy save for that once-in-a-blue-moon.

Vil Schoenheit

He also found it amusing how your first words were: The energy this place gives off is totally wack, but I’m vibing with it not gonna lie. Well, in case you didn’t know, everyone picks up on your wacky energy as well.

You once saw Vil angry because Epel wasn’t complying with his skincare routine, so you came by and said: You two are completely different species. How do you expect a crocodile and an anaconda to get along?

This went for everyone he couldn’t control, and he didn’t understand until after his overblot when you were the one tending to his wounds. You had apologized for resorting to violence, but he understood because it was necessary.

Now, he incorporates meditation into his yoga. He will often invite you over as well so that you could be yoga buddies and keep the other on-track. Vil noticed that he’s become more positive recently, all thanks to you.

[paintingwhiteceilings]

❃EXO's chances of surviving a zombie apocalypse❃

A/N: because why have your first post be romantic or suggestive when it can be unserious and downright weird.

Xiumin/Minseok: 9/10

✾ Let’s be honest, this man is way too good at sports not to survive far into a zombie apocalypse. Pretty sure those skills will translate and be useful in some way. He can outrun them so easily that he never truly finds himself in any danger.

�� Xiumin actually possesses functional brain cells and a good dose of common sense which means he makes good, well thought out, decisions. Unlike the beagle line, he won’t get himself stupidly killed.

✾ Despite all the chaos, he is incredibly organized, keeping precise track of what he has and needs.

✾ He can properly take care of himself and could run this thing solo. He is not dependent on others to do things for him and he strikes me as someone who is perfectly content to be on his own. The only reason he would team up with the others is for the company and because he finds their idiocy amusing.

✾ He has the added bonus that the zombies think he is adorable, like a pet, so they will keep him alive even when he does get caught.

Suho/Junmyeon: 5/10

✾ Remember that time when Suho fell asleep during carting? Yeah, he is beyond exhausted before the apocalypse even starts and will probably die by accidentally falling asleep. Suho will try to ‘rest his eyes’ and before he knows it a zombie is gnawing on his arm.

✾ Honestly trying his hardest to keep the rest of the members from dying, but instead of appreciating his efforts, they keep making fun of him for it. They are really testing his patience but he feels too responsible for their safety to leave them to fend for themselves.

✾ Not that anything he says matters, they never truly listen to him so instead he has to be the one to get them out of the dangerous situations they get themselves in.

✾ If he doesn’t get eaten due to his permanent exhaustion, he would be the type to accept his fate. The members will drive him insane to the point where he will simply give up and walk into a hoard of zombies with open arms.

✾ If you pair him up with his babies Kai and Sehun his survival rate somehow increases. Nobody touches his babies.

Baekhyun: ?/10

✾ Okay, so he either survives until the end or does something stupid and gets himself killed.  His survival rate is either 10/10 or 0/10, there is no in-between.

✾ Like Baekhyun is an ace in most games so he has the ability to outsmart the apocalypse if he puts in the effort. He is competitive enough to take it seriously, too.

✾ His survival truly depends on whether he gives in to his intrusive thoughts and let’s be fair, he has many and zero impulse control.

✾ He would, for instance, believe that he can successfully pretend to be a zombie to blend in with them. He has a lot of dumb ideas and will either act on it himself or get someone else to try it out.

✾ Obviously, his plans wouldn’t work and he, or his chosen guinea pig, would get eaten. Then again, it is Baekhyun and somehow he always manages to come out on top, so who knows, he might survive.

Chen/Jongdae: 6.5/10

✾ Okay, this man is a father so he gets to enjoy the father buff. If his family is with him, he is near unstoppable. Chen can be competitive and has a lot of energy, so technically his chances aren’t too bad.

✾ His main issue is that, well, every zombie and their mother can hear him from the other side of the planet. He is absolutely oblivious as to why the zombies keep finding him.

✾ Like Chen, please use your inner voice, zombies are not deaf and you are giving them your location whenever you talk.

✾ Will ‘accidentally’ push Chanyeol into a zombie when he jokes about being the C in CBX and finally find peace. At this point, he kind of deserves it.

Chanyeol: -10/10

✾ Hear me out, this man is a mess.

✾ Technically, he could survive but he is another one that for sure will listen to his intrusive thoughts. Like let’s be fair, Chanyeol has mastered an array of weird skills just because he can’t stand being bad at something; he will be just as determined to figure out how to survive during an apocalypse.

✾ The type to “I saw this in a film” and try it. He will quickly discover that most of it won’t work because those are movies and not real life. Still, he will have the biggest motivation to figure things out, even if most of his sources are fiction.

✾ The problem is that he is way too much into this whole apocalypse scenario. He will try to out-apocalypse the others or will make up some sort of stupid competition to kill time because sitting still for five minutes is for losers.

✾ He comes up with the “Who can get closest to the zombie without getting killed” game. Baekhyun might have helped.

✾ To be honest, it doesn’t quite matter how good his cards are in the context of a zombie apocalypse, he will probably die within a day because he has two left feet and a very intimate relationship with the floor.

D.O./Kyungsoo: 7/10

✾ Pair him up with another member, and suddenly their chances increase.

✾ His cooking skills make him so incredibly valuable. He will make sure no one starves, and can make a decent meal out of pretty much anything you give him.

✾ The others try their hardest to keep him alive because being in an apocalypse does not mean one has to eat grass.

✾ Then again, he would not hesitate to sacrifice the others to the zombies if they annoy him.

✾ The only one able to keep the beagle line from doing stupid shit with his threats.

✾ You can’t really count on him outrunning the zombies, though. We have all seen this man attempt to play soccer, he is not made for physical activity. He will not survive with his physical skills and will absolutely accept his fate rather than try.

Kai/Jongin: -100000000/10

✾ Listen, this man will die within the first five seconds of the apocalypse.

✾ It is not a question of whether he dies, more so than how. There are so many ways that he can get himself killed, even without the apocalypse playing a major factor.

✾ He could give himself food poisoning when he tries to cook or trip over his own feet when he tries to run away from the zombies. He does not really have a great sense of self-preservation.

✾ 10000% the type to think that they could befriend the zombies because “zombies are people too.” Luckily for him, the zombies do think he is adorable and won’t immediately eat him when he gets too close.

✾ But yeah, if it isn’t for the others constantly monitoring him, he is dead.

Sehun: 1000/10

✾ Last to die because his members will do everything they can to keep him alive. Maknae privileges and whatnot.

✾ He is very much dependent on his members to do basically anything, but the thing is, they would do it without question.

✾ He will complain the entire time and whine constantly.

✾ If Suho dies, you might as well kill him too. How is he supposed to sleep without his emotional-support-hyung??? So yeah, the only way to really decrease his survival rate is to eliminate his members.

✾ Honestly, we all are simply living in his world, what Sehun wants, Sehun gets. It might even extend to the zombies. He would just ask them to stop trying to eat him and they would oblige because, well, Sehun asked.

✾ He is 1000% responsible for the cure being found. It has nothing to do with Sehun finding it himself. Instead, when/if he gets bitten, the members will stop at nothing to find a way to rid him of the disease. Sleep? Who needs sleep when Oh Sehun is dying!?

masterlist

[yanderes-galore]

Oof, I'm here now! Better later than never, so first request is concept/HCS for Solas from Dragon Age Inquisition, please -🐈

I'm really hoping I don't mess up this character because he's so damn important. But if I do... I apologize as my knowledge on the topic is still not the best. I appreciate feedback since this character is so complex.

Adding "V1" to this since this was written when I'm very new to Dragon Age... also DA4 isn't out, so that may change things.

Spoilers for Dragon Age: Inquisition/Trespasser

Yandere! Solas Concept V1

Pairing: Platonic/Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Deception, Overprotective/Possessive, Isolation, Kidnapping, Solas thinks he's doing the right thing, Somewhat lucid yandere, OOC Solas most likely, Dubious companionship/relationship.

I personally feel, due to his origins, his obsession is more likely to lean platonic.

He is capable of feeling love but he may feel more like a mentor towards his obsession.

After all, he's really an ancient elf that's lived for thousands of years.

He is a man who wants to do whatever he can to help, just like he wanted to do for his people.

Yet his efforts probably isn't always the right thing.

He is a wise being who would first concern himself with watching over you.

Especially if you are an Inquisitor.

Solas does care about his obsession despite what he does, just like in his romance.

He's surprisingly honest, sometimes admitting things you don't quite understand.

His obsession makes him falter in his goals.

At first he isn't sure what to think of that.

His goal is to take down The Veil to restore Ancient Elves to their former glory.

Solas is loyal to his people and would sacrifice anything to achieve his goal.

But he begins to hesitate when he thinks of you.

Maybe he really does just see your bond as mentor and student.

That or he catches himself having genuine feelings for you.

Either way, the obsess he has over you makes him wish he could ignore it.

He cares about you... he knows his goal may end up hurting you in the end.

By the point he really starts to focus in his goal you've both known each other for a few years.

Which is why his decisions hurt him more.

I feel most of Solas' feelings and obsession are bittersweet.

It feels like yet another tragedy between him and his obsession.

He's torn between his goals that he's been focusing on, and you.

He feels you're both victims of fate in this situation.

He's always cared about you... even if things aren't meant to be.

Solas found the missions you did together enjoyable, your chats being a welcome form of entertainment for him.

He feels horrible that he's deceiving you and soon going to betray you in the end.

But when that eventually happens and you two cross paths... he'll find a way to compromise.

I imagine until his plan is fulfilled... Solas does not plan on letting his obsession go.

He's a powerful ancient elf mage who is extremely intelligent.

Solas may outsmart his obsession, he's seen a lot as an ancient elf.

Once you meet him again, years after the events of Inquisition, he has a plan.

He hopes you will forgive him when he constructs a trap for you.

By the time of Trespasser Solas has proven to be very strong with his magic.

The moment he gets you close enough, he embarks on his plan.

You'll stay beside him while he prepares to collapse The Veil...

Somehow he plans to safe you while sacrificing all the rest.

He never liked others around you while in the Inquisition.

He felt in a way they were unworthy, since the start Solas has felt a connection with you.

So... who cares what happens to the rest when he collapses The Veil?

He just cares about you... even though he hates to admit it, he wants you.

If he has to trap you beside him with a spell, so be it.

You may look at him with such betrayal in your eyes... but he tries to soothe you.

He says he's sorry... yet this is how things are meant to be.

He'll keep you beside him for as long as he can.

Even if he fails to save you... he'll never forget you.

Solas is a very tragic yandere... one who seems like he's your friend and companion...

Only to betray you in the end in many ways.

He wants to soothe the pain you feel... all while he keeps you trapped by his side, away from all you know.

You may be a friends... you may be lovers...

Regardless of what you are... you're his... and that's all that matters to him right now.

[thefallenangelsgang]

The Avantris Fam Discord got this a few days early, but, in a burst of academic energy I haven't felt in weeks, I wrote a 2k word Literary Analysis on Marius from Edge of Midnight in 4 hours (complete with citations and sources)

What you are about to read is the culmination of an 18 day hyper fixation (I averaged more than a session* a day) (*each session being about 3 hours in length). It has only been slightly edited for better Tumblr consumption. It is legitimately almost 2k words. It starts VERY academic (as I get to flex my knowledge on an obscure Arthurian legend I love) and then immediately drops off in quality as I traverse some "dubious psycho-analysis" (my own words) and try to wrap up a half finished thoughts that should be thousands of words longer.

If you want to see my active descent into madness or the original google doc this was written in, join the discord (linked above!). I've got massive Legends of Avantris Brain Rot and will for a very long time I fear.

TW for Sexual Assault Themes (please tell me if my tw tags are not extensive enough)

CW for my insufferable academic attitude, literary analysis where no one wanted it, "dubious psycho-analysis", half finished thoughts, DnD, vampires, and my sailors mouth

Marius: An Analysis on Chivalry and Chastity

Break to save your dash

To get the literary shit out of the way, Marius’s seduction is a parallel of the Arthurian Legend “Sir Gawain and the Green Knight” intentionally or not. I have a sneaking suspicion perhaps The Duchess scene is also based on the “Tale of Sir Galahad” bit in Monty Python and the Holy Grail BUT that bit draws inspiration from Gawain’s story. So no matter which way you cut it, Marius is connected to Gawain to SOME degree.

Attempting to be brief, I’ll sum up Gawain as briefly as I, someone who loves this tale a ridiculous amount, can.

Gawain is King Arthur’s nephew, a knight of the round table, young, chivalrous, pious, but itching to prove himself. He loves the aging Arthur and Arthur loves him like a son but he feels restless in his station because he has not gone on a great quest like many of the other knights. 

Serendipitously, during the New Years celebrations a strange man enters Arthur’s great hall. He is green and carries a great axe in one hand and a bough of holly in his other. He challenges anyone in the room to hit him with the axe and he will return the blow in a year and a day. No one takes the man up on the challenge. Arthur is about to do it when Gawain takes his chance to prove himself. Thinking he can outsmart the Green Knight, Gawain cleaves the man’s head from his shoulders. Unexpectedly the Green Knight picks up his detached head, leaves the axe for Gawain as a trophy, and strides out of there with the reminder that he will return the blow in a year and a day. Gawain has effectively doomed himself.

Attempting to put off his fate, Gawain waits to seek the Green Knight until All Saints Day (November 1st). He is sent forth with all of the pomp and circumstance a Knight of the Round Table and favorite of King Arthur can get. He spends nearly two months seeking someone who knows of the Green Chapel where the Green Knight resides and is fruitless. Winter sets in and he begins to suffer exposure when he is greeted by a beautiful castle that seemingly appears out of nowhere. He meets the Lord of the Castle and the Lord's beautiful wife. In the spirit of Christmas the Lord challenges Gawain to a game. The Lord will be hunting the next three days, anything he catches is to be Gawain’s. In return Gawain is to give the Lord anything he receives during his stay.

Well what Gawain receives is a lot of unwanted attention from the Lord’s wife. She attempts to seduce the ever pious Knight. Gawain, minding his promise and his tenets, only allows her six kisses over the course of the three days. All of which he returns to the Lord. But seeing as she can’t sway him with the sins of the flesh, she tempts Gawain with magic. The same day she convinces Gawain to receive three kisses she offers him an enchanted sash that will keep him from harm. Gawain accepts this knowing it will save his life in the coming days. He breaks his promise to the Lord and does not divulge this gift.

Gawain keeps his appointment with the Green Knight who admonishes Gawain when he flinches at the first swing, holds back on his second, and finally drives home the third, only wounding Gawain slightly. Gawain now must confess his temptation to the Green Knight who tells him that it is not Gawain’s fault. This has all been a plan by Morgan le Fay to attempt to ruin Arthur. Gawain only fell to part of her plan and so it has been thwarted. He should learn from this stumble on his path. And learn he does.

Monty Python takes this tale and guts it for “the Tale of Sir Galahad” segment. Galahad is instead searching for the Grail when he stumbles upon a mystical castle with a grail shaped beacon. His temptress(es) are the “8 scores” of young women of Castle Anthrax. He too enters the castle sick from exposure and wounded and thwarts unwanted advances until he learns that the grail is not there. Before he can fall to his temptation Lancelot, Ector, and ironically Gawain rescue him from his “peril” judging it to be “too perilous” for him to face. (It is really important to note that the actual Sir Galahad in Arthurian Legend doesn’t have a story that even resembles this one. Galahad is supposed to be an emulation of good ol’ Jesus Christ and the perfect chivalric Knight. He literally ascends to heaven in his tale. The only reason Gawain’s Tale is used is because it is the perfect setting to test “Sir Galahad the Pure” as long as you fudge a few details.)

These are both humorous stories with happy endings. It is important that Marius’s story is not.

Marius is searching for the Grail much like Sir Galahad in Monty Python and the Holy Grail (a parallel Mikey brings up often by singing “Brave, Brave, Brave, Brave Sir Robin Marius”). 

Like both Gawain and Galahad his quest leads him on a lengthy adventure that causes him to suffer from exposure to the elements. A fate he is saved from by a mystical castle that appears out of nowhere. 

Much like Gawain and Galahad, this Castle is the home of a seductress. 

And all too much like Sir Gawain, the Lord of this Castle is away on a hunting expedition. 

But here is where Sir Gawain, Sir Galahad, and Sir Marius’s stories diverge. Because Marius’s story partially is a story of sexual assault. 

We see in the ritual that Marius’s “head is filled with exhaustion, wine, and a strange perfume that feels almost magical in its enchantment” (Nikkie’s narration, 2:32:00, Chapter 17). There’s literally no other way to say this, Marius cannot consent to the acts about to take place in The Red Duchess’s bedchamber. He is too sick, too drunk, and, on top of it, literally charmed. 

His affliction is also another facet of this assault. While his transformation is not a direct result or part of the sex act, it follows quickly on the heels of it. Nikkie even notes Marius is still naked and that the shame of what has just happened is beginning to bubble up.

(Now this is where I get into the dubious psycho-analysis)

Perhaps attempting to swallow that shame, he accepts the Faux Grail and drinks from it, not questioning the appearance of the so-called Grail of Dawn. If he can just get through this night he can bring it back to Victor and all will be righted. He can live with the shame if it saves his kingdom. 

But that isn’t the Grail of Dawn he is drinking from and the woman who has just taken something irreplaceable from him is not just a beautiful woman looking for the comforts of the flesh on a cold, lonely winter’s night. And he is going through something so much more horrible than being assaulted like he has been.

And so he ends up back in the cold, irrevocably changed through no fault of his own, and he hates himself for it.

It’s heartbreakingly common that Sexual Assault survivors blame themselves for being assaulted. Marius’s conviction that he was at fault, that if only he was stronger, smarter, less feeble, he could have found a way to say no. He could have escaped her clutches. He wouldn’t be a Dhampir. He wouldn’t be haunted by her noxious perfume. He would still have his clear connection to Lathander. 

None of it is really his fault. The Duchess took advantage of him. There was truly nothing he could have done to change his fate that night.

At this point I am trying to articulate some of the things @middycat_ @zer09851 and @purpledinosaurdnd were talking about here https://discord.com/channels/223485292449890305/892828741900849182/1182483200505815153 

I think I want to jump into my High Inquisitor thoughts because they tie so closely with the novel I wrote above. This section is admittedly a little more scatterbrained. 

The High Inquisitor is a perfect example of both Marius’s self loathing and the way abusers seemingly can sniff out who has been abused before. From the second we meet her she singles Marius out. While yes, Marius is the most “normal” out of the EoM cast, Jericho is a MUCH easier target. He is touch starved and his sin is literally Envy. Jericho would have bent immediately at the first hints of affection and then she has an actual demon under her control. But Marius, though a tougher catch, is a much tastier meal so to say. (Not in that way you freaks /j) 

By answering to the High Inquisitor’s beckoning is how we end up with Marius as the Crimson Abbot. His self hatred would make him spiral and he’d turn to his Wrath to compensate. We’ve seen it before, especially recently when he thinks Lathander has abandoned him. He gives in because it's so much easier. She wants me? Fine. Let her have me in all of my broken glory. I’m too wrong to serve Lathander. Etc etc. 

Man, I wish I could string these thoughts together better.

AHA! This was the thought I had that I felt needed more context! 

@middycat_ brought up “hoping beyond hope that it’s not lathander’s choice to leave him”

I think the severed connection between him and Lathander is both a subconscious self-sabotage and a direct result of the ritual binding him to The Red Duchess. 

Most of the binding rituals I was pretty comfortable with. Lethica, Briggsy, Farryn, and somewhat Yorgrim were simply binding themselves to their gods/patrons. (I’m still not entirely sure what the Maiden of the Mists' whole deal is about but she seems mostly benevolent for now. Mr Crossroads didn’t really make Briggsy that way, he kinda was a bastard from the start. The zombification was a result of “fuck around and find out”). The ones I felt least comfortable with and that are reaping the most consequences are Jericho and Marius. Jericho’s character analysis is another similarly sized tome that will have to wait but he is having a harder and harder time keeping Virgil in check. Marius has bound himself to the woman that literally raped him. 

No wonder Lathander has found it hard to commune with him, The Duchess is practically breathing down his neck, whispering in his ear that he is not worthy of Lathander. He has been debased, ruined, made unloveable in the eyes of that god. And at least up until Chapter 22 he has been pushing back against that. Not any longer. He’s given in. As @middycat_ said “he’s a tired old man, a jaded old soldier who should have long since given up this fight to someone else.” 

I am afraid we are about to see the beginnings of the Crimson Abbot

And the only thing that can save Marius are his friends.

But I am also afraid they may not learn their lessons in time. Many of them tried to encourage him to fuck or made fun of him for not fucking the High Inquisitor when he was clearly triggered by something. 

Jericho will have to quash his envy. 

Briggsy and Farryn will have to admit they were wrong.

Lethica and Yorgrim will have to speak up.

Inaction hurts as much as action

And Marius needs all the help he can get.

[If you stuck this out A) you deserve awards and B) check out my other 2k word research essay on a niche topic: Why Ghouls Look Different Across the Fallout Games (Not because of Stylistic Differences) ]

This is fucking insane but here are the sources i used

Sir Gawain

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sir_Gawain_and_the_Green_Knight https://www.yorku.ca/inpar/sggk_neilson.pdf (Translation PDF if you want to read the tale)

Sir Galahad

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Galahad (for the one time i reference his actual arthurian legend)

Monty Python (I really can’t believe I cited this)

https://montycasinos.com/montypython/grailmm2.php.html (This is a script I was quoting from) https://montypython.fandom.com/wiki/Sir_Galahad (I was looking for other info on him in the movie but ended pulling the list of knights from this)

Pretty basic article on why victims blame themselves

https://www.throughthewoodstherapy.com/sexual-assault-survivors-blame/ (In case you want to do some light reading)

EoM Episodes

17 + 22 Definitely Anytime the High Inquisitor shows up

[limblesstar]

doomed by the narrative; a man who truly believes he’s above fate. that somehow, someway he’ll find a way to outclass, to outsmart, to outlive fates cruel plans for him- bestowed upon him the courage, the will, the resolve to do no wrong. yet still, still he manages. he’s wrong, he’s wrong, he’s wrong, he’s wrong! He’s guilty and will never be forgiven. Doomed to always repeat the past- to never learn from his shortcomings, to never find a way to make peace with himself and the world around him. he was born a blessed child and will die one of woe. a tragedy that repeats itself ad nauseum. forever and always.

Dazzled, Precise, Anna de Noailles / A Lot To Be Mad About, Kiki Nicole / Unknown / Plainwater: Essays and Poetry, Anne Carson / Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords (2004) / Their Eyes Were Watching God, Zora Neale Hurston / Descend, Keaton St. James / 25th Year of Marriage, It Goes On, Alicia Ostriker / Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords (2004) / Cut, Caitlyn Siehl / Ad Nauseum, N

[snippychicke]

Cats & Ships Chapter Two

Title: Cats & Ships

Overall Rating: Teen for now? May go into mature at a future date

Trigger warnings: Nothing beyond what's in the live-action series. I mean, Kuro's still manipulative and paranoid. It gets better tho? Slowly? It's a WIP, so I don't fully know yet.

Pairings: Captain Kuro (Klahadore)/Reader; hints of Kaya/Usopp

Summary: It started out as a means to get information as Khaladore. Who would be better to provide information regarding the high seas than Syrup Village’s Harbormaster? Except, for the first time in a very long time, Kuro found himself trusting, and even liking, the young woman he shared tea with every week. 

And then the Straw Hat Pirates arrived and ruined his plans. Except fate decided his story wasn’t done there. 

Nor was yours.

Masterlist here! | Read on Ao3!

Miss Kaya sat in the chair her butler once claimed, looking so much better it made you feel horrible. (Poison. He had been slowly poisoning her for years, and making a show of caring for her in her poor health. And no one thought to wonder, easily accepting that her weak nature was due to the sudden loss of her family.)

The cat-once-named-Kuro sat on the desk, carefully regarding the new visitor with mistrust. He didn’t like new visitors, no matter what. It had taken months for him to warm up to him to the point whenever the cat perked up, you knew he had entered your office. You tried not to notice how the cat would often wait now expectantly by the door when it was past the time he  would usually come around. 

“I don’t want to offend you,” Miss Kaya started, her hands wringing nervously in her lap, yet her shoulders were set straight, head held high. She was still so thin and frail, but there was a glimmer of the strong woman she was quickly becoming. (He had lamented about her health, her frailty, and it had been him all along.)  “But I’m tired of hearing rumors and not knowing the truth. I want to hear it from your lips and not others.”

You smiled tightly, and could tell it couldn’t quite reach your eyes. Not that it had in the last few months. How could you ever smile again after everything? “I appreciate that, miss Kaya. No one else has shown such bravery, or compassion.”  

There was both relief and pity in her expression, “So… what was your relationship with Klahadore? Did… did you-” 

“I knew nothing,” you interrupted, not really wanting to hear the question. “I-i was as fooled as you were. I thought we were friends, and maybe someday we-we would be more. But the only thing he confided to me were the stresses of Klahadore the butler, with nothing hinting at his true self, or true intentions.” 

You felt ill when you heard the news. Merry was dead. Kaya had nearly died, had been slowly dying for years. 

All at Klahadore’s hands. Kuro’s blades. Captain Kuro of the hundred plans, leader of the black cat pirates. 

The one pirate whose exploits you had followed closely in the news years ago, morbidly fascinated by the fact he had a plan for everything. Always outsmarting the marines and other pirates. The one you couldn’t help but find handsome on his wanted posters when you passed by the wall in the harbor, looking at the dozens of hundred of wanted posters that covered it. 

You had tea with him in weekly meetings about supplies for the manor-- or at least that was the cover. Really, it felt like two friends meeting up for a vent session… but now you saw it for what it really was. He had been after any information you could give. 

And you gave. So much. You had trusted him without second thought and spilled so many secrets, entranced by his soft dark eyes and faint smile. You told him the secret workings of the port, info the marines had confided in you as harbor master. So, so, much.

(He knew you named your cat after him. Knew of your silly little crush.) 

To say you were torn up didn’t quite do things justice. You had fallen into a pit of despair, questioning everything and every interaction you had with the man over the last three years. Every conversation. Every touch. Every gesture. Great Mother Sea, you had been hoping for a relationship with him. You had imagined a future with him-- Captain Kuro. 

How? Stoic yet sweet Klahadore, who was alway chiding you to take care of yourself. Who seemed to enjoy the company of your multitudes of cats as much as you did. You could still see him in the other chair, one hand delicately holding a teacup while the other scratched the ears of whichever cat decided to claim his lap. 

Could someone fake the emotion you had seen as he looked down at the kittens, so full of warmth, of love. (Then again, his crew was known as the black cats. Maybe he really was as fond as he looked?) 

But what about the same expression when it was aimed at you? The rare times he touched your hands, your face, so tenderly you were sure you were about to melt? Had they been real? Faked? 

Did it even matter? 

It both did and did not -- because not only were you scrutinizing every single moment, most of the populace was as well. They weren’t privy to what happened behind the walls of your office-- your home-- but they knew enough. You were the only other villager Klahadore--Captain Kuro-- had been close to other than Kaya herself. And despite being the Harbormaster for the islands the last six years, or the fact your family had served for the last several generations, the villagers found everything highly suspicious.  

But only one person was brave enough to confront you about it. 

“He fooled all of us,” Miss Kaya admitted, her posture softening some. “I thought he was my closest friend, family even. If he had just asked, I probably would have allowed him to have whatever he wanted.The family business, the manor, anything.”

Despite your own pain, your heart ached for the young woman who had lost everyone close to her. Merry, Klahadore, and even Usopp had set sail with the so-called pirates that had saved her. 

“...at least we understand each other,” you offered weakly, knowing it wasn’t much of a consolation. “To be tricked so thoroughly, how great of an actor he was…” 

It was her turn to offer a tight smile that didn’t reach eyes that were no longer sunken in. “That he was. Sham and Buchi I didn’t really care for, to be honest. I found them a bit… odd. But Klahadore… he was like a big brother. I never doubted him once.” 

Your heart was hurting too much. Because Mother Sea, that’s how he acted too. A big brother who was put-upon yet still loved his sister.   (How was all of that an act? How? How? How?!) 

"What plans do you have now?" You asked, trying to pretend like there wasn’t a huge lump in your throat. You needed a change in subject, quick, before you started to fall apart in front of the young heiress. 

“Actually, I’m going to leave Syrup village,” she answered, seemingly agreeable to the change. “For a while, at least. I’ve set up a board to manage my parent’s ship yard, but… I want to be a doctor, so I want to go to one of the cities to do my training.”  

Your smile felt just as weak as usual, despite the pride that blossomed for the young woman. To take her life in her hands and forage her own path. It was admirable, something you had wanted but never done. 

Then again, with her gone no one would be left in the village who understood what you went through. How you felt. There would still be suspicion in every glance, every deal. 

Were you a pirate? An accomplice? Could you really be trusted now?  How innocent were you, really?

“That… sounds like a really good idea, truth be told,” you admitted after a moment, an idea forming in your mind. “A fresh start away from here sounds nice.” 

After all, what did you have to lose?

***

Your life. You could lose your life. 

Dread filled you as screams filled the air, pirates swinging from their ship to the passenger ship. 'Fuck my life.'

[fawnheartedly]

The compulsion to write a fanfic about Odysseus defying Zeus's vision, adopting Astyanax as his own, with confidence he can outsmart the gods and escape fate. But i'm lazy so here's how things would go :

The travel home go pretty good actually except for Athena not being on speaking terms with Odysseus from the get go. Polyphemus is still met but no sheep was killed as they wanted to secure one alive for milk for the infant before Polyphemus came. Trade goes with wine but the cyclops isn't angry or anything so in no rush to kill them all right away. Polyphemus goes to mimir cause of course Ody still put lotus fruits in his drink, it's Odysseus we're talking about. No man dies here, no doxxing happens, yay. They do have to get the wind bag cause Poseidon was notifyied by his son that some of his sheeps were stolen by "Nobody" and is a bit annoyed but nothing too bad, just making waves to disturb a lil bit the thieves, however they may be. The crew doesn't look into the bag cause Polites, very much alive Polites, said "nope :3" Actually he and Ody have been taking turns with the bag so Ody can be sleep deprived thanks to the baby instead.

Back to Ithaca, happy reunion with everyone. 10 years old Telemachus is introduced to his shiny new baby brother Astyanax Andronicus. Of course Odysseus explain things to Peneloppe who agrees he made the right choice despite the vision. They raise the boy as their own.

But the gods aren't too happy that Odysseus defied them. A vision is to be taken seriously as it will always come true one way or another and they're not gonna let an arrogant lil motherfucker prove the contrary. As Andronicus reachs the end of adolescence, he's plagued by visions of his father on the verge of killing an infant, of a woman, still alive somewhere, crying over the infant she thinks dead. And he just knows the infant and him are one and the same.

He sails off to find this woman, his birth mother, helped by the gods who wants to teach Odysseus a lesson. He finds the woman he's searching for, Andromaque, in Phtia. She was forced to be Achilles's son's concubine and had to mother his children but she never forgot neither Astyanax nor Hector. She tells him all that has happened to Troy and his people, his father, her own story... And he's furious. Vengeful.

Things go ugly from there. Astyanax go back to Ithaca and since Odysseus was away, he confronts Peneloppe instead. He ends up killing her and Telemacheus fights him to avenge his mother. Telemacheus loses the fight and his life. Astyanax leaves to search for all the men who murdered his people for a decade. But he's stopped by Odysseus himself who has no other choice but to kill the boy he took in as a son so long ago, with no one but himself to blame for the death of his wife and son.

In this, Odysseus's entire crew survived. It's Peneloppe and Telemacheus who ended up being sacrifices. The infant didn't die an infant but Odysseus still killed him.

[yoon-oh-what-i-deserve]

💙[request on jaehyun who's an undercover spy looking for his old lover]— DO YOUR MAGIC 💖

I'm back... ish? I've been gone for idek how long and got quite a few asks hanging in my DM, but...

Anyway, this is something I have been holding back for a few years now, and I think it fits perfectly. There might be other parts, but... You tell me what you think of it, if it should be posted. Just out of curiosity, I had named it "Starting Fires".

And thank you, anon, for asking for this prompt! Hope you enjoy it.

Jeong came to a halt, his chest rising and falling in quick motions, his breath labored, his sight not yet adjusted to the darkness of the tunnel. Behind him, he could hear the shouts and steps resonating through the gallery, water splashing around and echoing throughout the chamber, making it hard to pinpoint the location where it all came from.

A drop of sweat rolled from his forehead to his eye, the salty liquid stinging the deep cut over his eyebrow before finding its way to his dark chocolaty iris. The man blinked a couple of times, trying to clear his mind and keep his cool in order to find a way out of this situation.

The putrescent smell from the tunnel gave him the indication he needed. It was a sewer and there had to be a way out of it. That is, if he could find which path to follow before the men behind him had the chance of finding him and giving Jeong the same fate his partner had.

Stumbling forwards, the assassin advanced in the darkness. His left hand against the humid wall while his right hand held onto the gash wound on his lower abdomen, stacking some of the blood that insisted on pouring out of his body due to the constant movement he made.

Jaehyun couldn’t give himself a moment to stop and understand where this mission had gone wrong. He couldn’t believe they had been outsmarted. A whole team with the best of the best, and yet they had fallen prey to some terrorist cell in the middle of nowhere, with no one to turn to and nowhere to go.

The past few months had been like walking through hell, with Jeong and Davis being moved from one camp to another, a blind always covering their eyes, their minds clouded due to the amount of sedatives they had been given daily. It was like a never-ending nightmare, and Jaehyun couldn’t believe he was right in the center of it all. The one being held hostage instead of finding a way to free someone else.

The words Hurley had always told him ringed in his brain every day, the constant nag that no one would come after him. Remember, the voice said. If anything goes wrong, no one is coming for you. You’re ghost.

And that’s what he was trying to be now, a complete translucid, inaudible being walking with water covering his ankles, his steps vacillating, his breath ragged and his eyes blurry.

A sense of determination was what kept him going, though. There was no one else coming for him, there was no future staying. He had to leave and survive. He had to find a way out of this hell he had been living and get back to his life, to the people he had left behind, to the secret he kept from the CIA.

Without thinking of anything else, Jaehyun followed ahead, the path splitting into two directions. A groan escaped his mouth when he realized one wrong move would lead him into his death.

The man closed his eyes and took a deep breath, the face of a woman invaded his thoughts. The smile she had on her plump lips, the way the dimples on her cheeks caved into her features, her fingers intertwining with one another, her eyes glistening in the sunlight.

He wondered what she had been going through, what she thought had happened to him. Hurley had no idea about her, he had no idea about anything Jaehyun had decided to keep excluded from his professional life.

And if that was the case, she had no idea he had been captured, she had no idea he was still alive, and she had no idea he was going back to her. For all he knew, she assumed he had fallen victim to the horrible job he had, the one she had insisted he gave up, to no avail.

With a final grunt, Jeong threw himself to the left, the noises getting closer behind him, his eyes losing focus before a blinding light came in contact with him, his steps leading him to the opening without realizing the most important thing: it was a big fall.

And it was amidst his body free-falling into the ground that Jeong Jaehyun scolded himself. So much for trying to live and see the face of Y/N one more time. What the terrorist hadn’t done, he had managed to. He had killed himself.