#it is at a point where I'm happy to put it in the main tag anyway LOL

[allpiesforourown]

Hey, so sorry to be using your inbox like a fuckin confessional, but getting that dream thing off my chest literally cleared my skin and I've just got this itch that needs to be addressed so I'm taking it out on you again. Reflecting on this thought the second after I had it made me think, "Oh, I get what Shen Yuan was on about now," and so here I am, typing this shit out ig. fucking embarrassing, anyway.

So, like. I watch those gacha react videos on youtube. Like a concerning amount of those gacha react videos, man. I fuckin love them so much, even if I wouldn't admit to it under pain of death to anyone I know or love. I have a seperate youtube channel I made under a fake email that I made specifically to watch them. It's bad. I remember back when it was just me and the FF.net filter system before they added the 'Without' section at the bottom and trying to find crossover content in the LoZ tag between games. 10th circle of hell; my 13th reason. Gacha react videos in concept are heavensent for my inner child, and on the rare occasion I find one of those 'fandom react' series that are active or complete and well done, it grants me joy on par with nigh nothing else.

This being said, I understand that the main demographic for this content tends to be a handful of years younger than me. I've seen community posts on some channels mentioning their time in college, but these are few and far between in my experience. I appreciate these teen's artistry in putting these all together, because god knows I'm not, but like,,, --and I know I sound like an ass right now but bare with me-- it feels like with the conclusion of Arcane came a flood of reaction videos with no real substance. I've watched upward of what feels like thirty seperate videos --at least,-- on the show and its the same ten to twenty edits I've seen on repeat and I'm watching them by pressing the skip key and catching half the dialouge only to come out the other side tired and a little miffed. Then I feel bad, because they created something and all I did was mindlessly consume and feel entitled to complain. Ugh.

Now, Because I've been cycling through these almost cookie cutter videos for ages --I used Arcane vids as an example before because its recent and relevant, but I do have this take for a whole slew of the fandoms I watch react videos on, and I picked this addiction up in 2021 so it's been a minute-- I've begun predicting the dialouge before it's come up and projecting what I hope the author will say. If I see a video with, for example, Giyuu from kny seeing Sabito in a video, I hope to see shock, yes, but also to see him comment or think about how he hasn't seen his face in so long, you know? Just... things that aren't just "OMG!!" or making the characters eyes widen. I've found now that I seek out these videos for the slim chance that they'll provide me with the satisfaction I get from these moments of true understanding with the presented characters.

Yes, I know that there really isn't any "true" way to understand a character, and that while we are all entitled to our own interpretations of media, the insistence that mine alone is more "right" or "correct" is bullshit, but I'm not saying that my preference has to be law, only that I get a rush of happiness whenever something I like happens to pop up in a video that I was already checking out of because it failed to really,,,,wow me. This is my bias speaking, of course, but its also the reality of my situation borne from overconsumption of this genre.

But anyway, onto the main point of how this relates to svsss. I was watching a video just a minute ago --an Arcane video, big shocker I know-- where there was a line from the creator's Vander character about how he wasn't ready to see Vi so grown up, because to him she's still his little girl. I thought, "Yes!!! This!! He's a father! He's showing realistic reactions to seeing your child suddenly grown up, and while he's proud of the woman she became, he still loves her as she is in the moment!!" ....I then watched the rest of the reaction, and was left cold and disappointed in the end. I'd clicked for Viktor, got three videos of him in a twenty minute reaction when the rest was the same four edits of jinx on repeat. Love you Jinx, but holy fuck. I thought then, "God, what a waste of potential." The creator of the video had insightful dialouge, clearly a decent grasp on character interaction, and the drive to create the video in the first place, but settled for pumping out another copy of the same video they've released three times previous on the same channel.

Then I thought, "Oh, like PIDW."

I need to get a life, Tumblr user allpiesforourown. If your blog wasn't so damn entertaining, I might even go out and touch grass one day. Take responsibility, damn.

(ty for reading my rant, if you did. have a good day regardless.)

I think you watching gacha react videos for characterization might be the one and only thing more baffling than Shen Yuan reading porn for plot. Hope you find gacha videos of Vander teaching his daughter how to ride a bike

[aroaessidhe]

I have FINISHED* my Red timewar cosplay! yippee! it was a struggle but worth it

(*I still plan to add some more details, but it's wearable and looks complete which is the most important thing!)

[thoughtpeek]

I'VE FINALLY FINISHED BROTHERSHIP IT WAS SOOOOO GOOD!!!!!!!

[myownwholewildworld]

wherever you go (a joel miller's ff) - chapter 5

chapter 4 | series masterlist | main masterlist | chapter 6

pairing: outbreak!2003!joel x f!reader. (it's actually 2004 now)

summary: after what happened a couple of months ago, you are ready to move forward. joel? not so much. he might need a little... prodding.

warnings: 18+, mdni. internal and verbal discussions of feelings, trauma and past relationships. some jealousy (if you squint very hard). porn with plot or plot with porn (however you wanna look at it). again, absolutely filthy smut because i don’t know any better (sorry not sorry). fluff. voyeurism (you spy on joel). masturbation (f and m). oral (f and m receiving). finger sucking. unprotected piv. praise kink. sir kink. size kink. cum eating. a bit of cum play. multiple orgasms. overstimulation. squirting. dirty talk. you are very needy in this one and joel is very possessive over you. soft!dom!joel. aftercare. pet names (darlin’, sweetheart, baby, honey). i'm sure i'm forgetting something lol. reader is female, no other description given. reader is mid-late 20s, joel is 36. no use of y/n.  joel’s and reader’s pov.

a/n: hiya! first i want to thank you all for the positive feedback this series has gotten! [: i started writing this for myself mainly, and decided to post it here thinking that if a couple of people liked it, it'd make my heart happy. also, i have taken some licenses with joel's past, as neither the game nor the tv show gives many details (you'll understand what i mean). anyways! after the last chapter, our two protagonists (you!) deserve a bit of calm, peace and quiet... right? 😈 as always, thank you all for engaging. i do appreciate any comments, reblogs and/or likes you may want to leave! even asks/requests/side stories if you want to! take care lovelies <3 x

w/c: ~6.3k (sorry?).

tags (let me know if you want to be added/removed from the list pls!): @yesjazzywazzylove-blog @pedrospurplerain @missladym1981

August came around relatively quickly. Tommy had proposed you got closer to civilisation, which meant long trekking trips while the sunlight was still up. Joel agreed reluctantly, as he still thought that was dangerous. You just went along with it, letting them decide ― you didn’t really care where you ended up as long as the Millers were by your side.

Well, one of them especially.

At daytime you barely had time to yourself. However, the story was completely different at nighttime. The second you closed your eyes, snippets of what had happened two months ago flooded your memory. For the first few weeks, the nightmares were unbearable. You would wake up in the dead of night, sweaty and shaking.

And every time you woke up, Joel was by your side. He would hug you while you both laid on improvised beds, no matter how uncomfortable it was. Neither of you would talk, you would just cry in silence while your panic attack subsided ― Joel holding you throughout the whole episode. He had truly been a rock you could hold onto in the middle of a sea storm.

It got to the point where Tommy had started to realise that something was up between you two. Neither you nor Joel denied nor confirmed anything, although Tommy never asked. He would just look away when his brother would attend to you if you fell behind or would offer to do the first night shifts so Joel could be by your side at bedtime.

You were somewhat sure that Joel really cared about you. The way he would look at you… it sent shivers down your spine. The intensity in his eyes was hypnotising ― sometimes you would find yourself lost in his brown orbs, unable to look away. You also really cared about him.

You didn’t want to put a label to your feelings, mainly because you were not sure how Joel would react. You had come to understand that the man was prone to evade any topic about his feelings in general ― physical, emotional or otherwise. You could still not get him to tell you whenever he felt off. Since the blow to his head a couple of months back, Joel had been suffering with horrible headaches, to the point where he had fainted in a couple of instances.

The man was such a closed book you found out about his deceased wife the same way you knew about Sarah ― through Tommy. You assumed he had one or at least a partner at some point in time before the outbreak. The younger brother didn’t give you many details though, not that you asked either ― some wounds were better left untouched.

You liked Tommy a lot. He was a godsend ― so very different to Joel, but so similar in many ways. He was talkative and filled in long silences with stories about how they would cause mayhem at home when they were kids. You didn’t know if they were true or not, but they were entertaining nonetheless. You were under the impression that Tommy was the one who got into sticky situations and Joel was the one who had to fix them.

“I’m gonna go to the lake for a bit”, Joel told you, derailing your train of thought.

“No worries, I’ll get the fire going. Poor Tommy is always the one setting up camp”, you replied with a slight smile.

“Yeah, poor me, relegated to such unsignificant tasks”, said Tommy with a chuckle.

You smiled back and then looked in Joel’s direction. He was frowning at both of you, but quickly controlled his face expression.

“I’ll be back soon”, Joel crouched to look through his backpack, grabbing a couple of towels.

Something inside of you twisted. But you pushed the thought to the back of your head. You had already volunteered to start the fire.

You really tried to focus on the bonfire. And after a few attempts, you finally got it going. Joel had not come back yet from the lake ― it had only been ten minutes, but you were slightly worried in case he had lost consciousness again while no one was around.

“I’ll go check on him”, you told Tommy.

He looked at you with a sarcastic smile.

“Sure thing”, he replied while he started to skin a rabbit.

You rolled your eyes before you left in the direction Joel had gone.

You walked the hundred metres that separated the camp and the lake. The brothers had ensured the area was completely devoid of human existence before they decided to settle there for the night. You were now in Mark Twain National Forest, near St. Louis. You had checked out Kansas City a week ago, but both Tommy and Joel had deemed it too unsafe. So Chicago was your final destination. None of you knew what you would encounter there, but it was worth a try. The wilderness had not proven to be any safer.

Before you got to the bank of the lake, you spotted Joel in the water. He had his back towards you, your eager eyes checking out his broad shoulders, the water level up to his hips. He ran his fingers through his hair, slicking it back.

You stopped walking, somewhat mesmerised, your head slightly tilted to one side with curiosity. In the last two months, you had discovered a new side to Joel you didn’t know he had.

You guessed that what happened that night also affected him in a different way it did you. After he almost decapitated that man, you saw guilt in his eyes when he looked at you ― you still sometimes caught a glimpse of it to this day. As you found out later, that culpability was because he felt responsible for what those men did to you ― he really thought he could have done more. And he did in a sense, because for the next couple of days he hunted down every man in that group until there was no one left to hurt you. Apparently, that was not enough in his eyes, although it was in yours. But as much as you tried to explain that to him, it just wouldn’t sink in. He was so stubborn it made you go crazy sometimes.

Although Joel had been there for you emotionally, he had not touched you for the last two months. You managed to steal a few kisses from him and that was it. He had been extremely cautious with you in that respect. You were relieved he was as you tried to come to terms with what had happened, but after a few weeks it started to feel… frustrating. You were not broken and despite what he thought, you still had needs.

He suddenly looked over his right shoulder, offering you his side profile ― to you, he was gorgeous. Feeling like a child caught causing mischief, you quickly hid behind a tree. Joel looked around, eyebrows touching in confusion, but then he shook his head as if he was imagining things and proceeded to cup his hands in the water to wet his face.

You couldn’t not watch. You instantly realised that was the first time you saw him naked. The last ―and, regrettably, the only― time you two had sex, he was fully clothed. There was something very intimate about seeing him washing up.

You were so transfixed on the picture in front of you it was like the world had disappeared around you. Joel rubbed his skin with a hand towel ― his strong arms, his chest, his back, his lower stomach… Your breath quickened a bit, your heart picking up a pace. Everything about him invited you in ― it wasn’t only his rugged appearance that appealed to you, but also his character.

You started to feel hot. Had the temperature suddenly gone up? It seemed like it. Joel put the hand towel on his left shoulder. When you saw his right hand disappear below the water in front of him, your mouth went dry wishing it was your hand. You wanted to help him clean his manhood so badly ― memories of his delightful cock rocking you into a trance short-circuited your brain.

Before you could stop yourself, you placed one hand on your belly, biting your bottom lip. You finally gave in to temptation, pushing past the edge of your panties. You dipped two fingers in your slit, doing circular movements around your clit. Your eyes, albeit halfway closed in pleasure, could not leave Joel as he kept on freshening up. You pushed down your fingers a bit more, sliding one of them in your needy hole.

You closed your eyes, a half-smile showing on the corner of your lips. That felt so good. If Joel was going to do nothing about it ― fine, you would. Still behind the tree, out of sight, you held on to the bark with your free hand, upping the rhythm of your wet fingers, your thumb rubbing that tight knot in your fold. Then you slightly opened your eyes again ― you wanted to stare at Joel while you came.

But he wasn’t there anymore. You frowned, confused, but you were too busy to worry about that right now. So you closed your eyes again to fully focus on the task at hand. You leaned your forehead against the tree, feeling your orgasm wash over you with intensity. You pressed your lips, suppressing a moan as to not alert Joel of your presence.

“Am I interrupting?”, his soft voice forced you to glance in his direction with starry eyes.

He was on your righthand side, just half a metre away from you. Entirely naked in all his glory, an erection creeping up on him. You were speechless, partially because you had been caught spying on him and partially because you were still feeling the last remnants of your climax, your inner walls crying for something to choke.

“I―I…”, you really tried to excuse yourself, but your voice faltered when your eyes checked him out from top to bottom.

His body was chiselled, his muscles somewhat defined, especially around his waist. He had a pronounced V line with a hairy, happy trail which you avidly followed with your eyes until you were gifted with the sight of his veiny cock. You unconsciously licked your bottom lip.

Your fingers were still dunked in your warm pussy. Joel grabbed your wrist and took your hand out of your underwear, raising it to eye level. Your digits were sticky, covered in your own cum. You should feel ashamed, but you definitely didn’t. Not with him. Joel looked into your eyes, and, without breaking visual contact, he brought your slick fingers closer to his face. With no hesitation, he opened his mouth and pushed them into it, licking them clean. You felt your cunt gushing, eyelids half closed. You could have easily come again for him, but he released your fingers far too quickly for your liking.

“You naughty girl”, he whispered as he pulled you from the wrist to get you closer to his chest. “You taste even better than what I imagined”.

“I didn’t think you were…”

“Aware of your presence? Always, darlin’”, he finished for you.

Your cheeks blushed when he freed your wrist and lifted your chin up. His thumb caressed your bottom lip, his mouth just an inch away from yours. You bowed to kiss him, but he backed up a little, denying you.

“Are you sure you wanna do this, sweetheart?”, he asked, you could hear the uncertainty in his voice.

You nodded vehemently.

“Yes, please, Joel, I really need to feel you, to have you fuck me senseless”, you emphasized, short-breathed.

He seemed to consider your words for longer than what was acceptable. You saw his eyes flying between yours and your lips.

“Please?”, you begged.

Your prayers might have been heard, because he leaned forward, brushing your mouth with his.

“Then go down on your knees, darlin’”, he whispered against your lips.

You silently gasped as your clit pulsed at his words. You were delighted to follow his command, and so you kneeled compliantly.

When your knees touched the grass, his cock was at eye level. You couldn’t help but marvel at the sight. His dick was as big as you remembered, the memory of it filling you up still haunted you. It was so erected now that the tip touched his belly button. Joel looked so strained you thought he had to be in pain. And you were more than willing to help him alleviate it.

You moved your hand forward, but before you could try to wrap your fingers around him, Joel stopped you.

“No, with your mouth”, was his order.

You intertwined your fingers on your lower back and inclined your heard towards him. You gazed up at him, his jawline very tense. You let your tongue out and shyly tapped his glans with the tip. Joel closed his eyes immediately and grumbled loudly as his cock twitched in front of you.

That was all you needed to spur you on. You widely opened your mouth to house his manhood and sealed your lips around the head, the tip of your tongue trying to push open the slit on his foreskin. You played with him for a bit while your jaw relaxed. Then you started to push him in further and further down your mouth, as far as you could take him. His glans pushed past your uvula, you could barely breathe, just as you had imagined a few months ago ― a dream come true. You bobbed your head back and forth, feeling him in your throat, your eyes watering. But you were still not close to have his dick entirely in your mouth ― he was so damn big.

Joel growled in ecstasy as he looked down to you. The sight of you on your knees with your mouth stuffed, bright beautiful eyes, your tongue maliciously inciting him… He just couldn’t believe how giving you were.

“Look at you with your mouth so full”, he said placing one of his hands under your chin. He could feel his own cock expanding your throat. “You look so damn pretty, baby”.

You leaned back a bit, releasing most of his erection except for the tip. With the help of one hand you started pumping his shaft, the other gently massaging his balls. Joel eyed you intensely while you ate him up like a lollypop. His salty flavour inundated all your senses, your eyes pinned on his.

His fingers clenched in frustration.

“Shit, stop, I’m gonna come”, he mumbled as he pushed back to free his dick from your wicked lips.

No way in hell, you thought. He was not about to deny you that. You had been thinking about this moment for fucking months, you wouldn’t let him take that pleasure away from you.

You grasped him by his ass, your palms firmly pressing on his buttocks to take his cock even deeper. You then gave him head as best as you knew how, fastening the rhythm when you felt the pulsation coming from him.

“Fuck, baby―”, he moaned your name as he came in your hot, wet cavity.

You felt his spent hit the back of your throat. It was so tangy and musky. You swallowed all of it. Ah, delicious, you thought gleefully. You let go of his ass and released his dick from the prison of your lips.

You placed the palms of your hands on your knees, still on the ground, and glanced up at him innocently with a sweet smile painting your face. You then opened your mouth, sticking your tongue out to show Joel you had eaten all his cum ― a bridge of spit connecting the tip of your tongue to his glans.

He dropped one hand to break off the arch of saliva between you and him with his index, and fed it to you ― you gladly accepted, sucking his finger clean.

“Did I do good, sir?”, you asked with a small voice, looking for praise.

“Good? You did fucking splendid, sweetheart”, you beamed with the compliment and got up to your feet when he offered you a hand.

He took your hand, walking behind him as he headed towards the lake. He turned around to face you and kissed you slowly, his tongue caressing your palate. He then took a step back. The sun was setting on his back, the orange and red lighting reflecting off the waterbed. His brown eyes, bearded jaw, hooked nose, his hair curling at the nape of his neck… He looked like a roman God ― Mars, you thought. Joel looked like a man about to fight for his life and yours on the battlefield.

He sat down on a massive flat rock one metre away from the bank of the lake, which was approximately two metres wide in both directions.

“Now undress for me, baby”, he instructed.

You did not hesitate ― all your clothing fell to your feet, piece by piece, while Joel eagerly watched the show you put on. He wetted his bottom lip while he readjusted his cock on his lap. You stood there with dreamy eyes, awaiting. He motioned one hand towards the rock he was sat on, an invitation for you to join him.

Once you were sat on his right, he placed his left hand around the front of your neck ― a very slight touch that forced you to flatten your back against the rock while he positioned himself on top of you. He bit your chin while his left hand put a sweet amount of pressure on your throat. You could tell he was controlling himself.

“My turn”, he whispered, coming off you.

He got off the rock, kneeling on the ground in front of you. You put your elbows down on the rock to lift your torso and be able to look at him, your knees bent, the sole of your feet against the cold surface of the rocky platform. Joel grabbed you by the hips and scooted your ass over to the edge of the rock. Your legs were firmly pressed against each other, trying to hide your quivering cunt ― suddenly you felt shy.

“Spread your legs open for me, darlin’, lemme see”, he commended you with his hands on your knees.

You couldn’t say no to him, you didn’t want to. So you obeyed, dropping your legs to the sides, offering him your dripping fold. He traced your slit with his index, and you moaned.

“You’re so fucking wet already. So receptive, aren’t you?”, he asked looking at you dead in the eye, his finger sinking in between your legs, looking for the entrance. “Who gets your pussy so wet?”, he pushed his fingertip in your hole, and you groaned loudly. “Who, darlin’? Use your words”.

“You, only you, sir”, you gasped.

“This is mine”. He pushed in the second phalange.

You closed your eyes, trying to control your breathing.

“All yours, yes”.

His finger got completely sucked in down to his knuckle, stroking your g-spot. You harshly pressed your lips.

“Exactly, don’t you dare forget that”, his tone was so serious you looked at him enigmatically, not really understanding where that sudden possessiveness came from, but you loved every bit of it. And you were more than happy to put his doubts to rest.

You nodded frantically.

“I would never, sir, I swear my pussy is all yours”, you really meant it.

“As it should be”, he added a second finger as he leaned forward and kissed your mound.

You sighed, eyes teary, and flattened your back against the rock again, as Joel made out with the fatty skin above your clit. He introduced a third finger, all of them rubbing your anterior wall. Then his mouth dropped and sucked in your clit. Your knees trembled while you held both of your breasts, playing with your nipples and biting down your lip to stop your wanton screams. He insisted with his kissing until your wet cunt started fluttering around his fingers, a clear tell you were about to come. He stroked your clit with his teeth, very lightly, sending shivers up your spine. Your legs pressed against his head, tension building up. And then, finally, sweet release. You came so hard on his mouth, and he drank it all.

He unburied his head from in between your legs and glanced at you with a sufficient smile.

“You taste even better directly from your creamy cunt, baby”, you were glad he was so talkative during sex, especially if it was to praise you.

Joel placed the palm of his hand over your mound, his fingers covering your damp pussy, and rubbed with just the right amount of friction. You exhaled slowly.

“I’m gonna make you come again”, he promised.

You pursed your lips, your cunt palpitating at the prospect.

“I don’t know if I can―”, you uttered under your breath.

He raised an eyebrow, almost as if he was offended. Joel grabbed your thighs and pulled towards him; the back of your knees placed on his shoulders.

“Don’t doubt me, of course you can. I said I’ll make you”, his mouth was so close to your moist pussy you felt his cool breath on your damp skin.

You whimpered when his tongue swept your entire slit unhurriedly, from your perineum to your clit, his hand climbing up your body to squeeze one of your breasts firmly. Joel repeated that move a few times ― and your brain chemistry would be changed forever after that. He briefly pinched your nipple while he paid special attention to the core of your pleasure. Joel smothered your clit with his lips ― you closed your eyes while placing a hand over his on your boob.

Joel’s tongue stopped torturing you for a second. He nudged your clit with the tip of his hooked nose and then inhaled your sweet smell. That scent was making him go wild with lust to the point where he started fisting his cock, the tip already leaking with precum. He flattened his tongue against your swollen lips, wiggling it through the slit to touch your needy hole. He could not believe you were this wet for him ― if he had the chance, he would drink from your seeping fold every single day. This was how ambrosia tasted like ― he was damn sure of it.

He placed his hands to each side of your puffy flaps to spread your pussy open, while the tip of his tongue slipped inside of you. Your free hand flew to his head, fisting a handful of hair. Your toes clenched as he started to fuck your hole with his tongue. You felt your whole uterus contracting so hard it was almost painful. Your cum started to ooze out as a new orgasm hit you with full force, yelling his name. Joel did not waste any of it, licking it off you shamelessly.

What just happened ― that felt like sin, the most beautiful sin you had ever experienced. Your breathing was so irregular you thought you were going to have a heart attack. Then you heard Joel snickering as he got back up to his feet.

“See? Told ya”, he said smugly as you placed the elbows on the rock to lift your chest and glance at him.

He was jerking off, his cock ready for you again. You sat back up and leaned forward, your hands on his muscular thighs as you kissed the slippery tip, the shaft, then his balls. You showered pecks all over his manhood, worshipping it.

“S-sorry, sir, can I ask? Is your cock only mine? P-please?”, you asked in between smooches, almost panting, looking at him with puppy eyes.

Joel’s irises were swirling with desire, his hips slightly slanted forward towards your mouth, his dick visibly spasming while he caressed your cheek.

“All yours, yes”, he replicated your exact words, your heart fluttering with contempt.

You smiled at him before licking his testicles again ― your hand pushing his shaft against his lower belly to give you better access. Your eyes never abandoned his as your saliva covered his soft ball sacks.

This time he did step back, and you let him.

“I need you inside me, please”, you murmured.

His jaw was so tight he didn’t dare to speak. Joel could feel his heartbeat on his cock, all because of you and your wanton mouth. You looked so damn beautiful ― on your knees, staring at him through your eyelashes, patiently waiting. He knew you very well by now, fully conscious that as sweet as you were acting now, that was it ― an act. And he loved every bit of it. He liked the way you replied to him when sex wasn’t involved, taking no shit from anyone, your snarky remarks driving him crazy.

Joel sat down on the rock and motioned for you to join him on his lap. You joyfully obliged, sitting atop of him. Your knees to each side of his waist, your bust against his, skin to skin. Your nipples grazed his chest, becoming harder at the electric contact. He cupped both of your boobs and pushed them up, so he could kiss them tenderly. You sighed, your mouth against his ear. Still holding your breasts, he unattached his lips from your nipples to peck your chin.

“Fuck me, darlin’”.

You looked down between you two. His erection was so prominent you knew it was hurting him. And you could ease that pain for him. Heaving, you lifted your hips up and grabbed his dick. It was hard but soft at the same time, velvety, very warm and beating. So sensitive to the touch he groaned ― music to your ears. You hugged his neck with your free arm as you guided his tip to your leaking entrance.

With a sudden drop of your hips, you impaled yourself harshly ― his bollocks kissing your tumid lips. You circled your hips against his, very slowly, which made you both moan in unison. Then you raised your body, his cock slipping out completely. Holding him from the base, you came down on him sharply again.

Joel was close to losing his mind. If you did that one more time, he wasn’t going to be able to hold it for much longer. You seemed to understand that, because you started to rock your hips back and forth, up and down. He kneaded your ass, feeling your rhythm, spurring you on. His fingers squeezed the skin under them while he kissed your collarbone. His mind was completely blank ― he could only focus on your sweet pussy hugging him, choking him. His dick felt so wet, so hot, throbbing for release… You kept on riding him, your movements growing erratic as you both were close to climax.

You surrounded Joel’s neck with both arms, pressing your breasts against his handsome face, your hips flushed with his, as your cunt angrily convulsed around his erection in blissful liberation. Joel held it together while you recovered, his hands still on your ass cheeks, fingers so clutched they were close to dislocating.

“Baby, if you don’t get off, I’m―”, pain smeared his tone. He was really fighting for his life right there and then.

“Oh, sorry”, you said with a small voice, still feeling your own pleasure. You elevated your hips, so his manhood popped out with a squelching sound.

You were not going to leave him hanging, obviously. So you kneeled before him, in between his strong legs, and kissed his tip. Joel sighed loudly when you closed off your lips around him for the second time today and pumped his shaft fast and strong, milking him dry. A minute later, your throat was clogged with his spent. A drop of it trickled down the corner of your mouth.

Joel leaned forward and caught the cum off the corner of your mouth with his thumb before rubbing it on your lips. Then he kissed you wetly, devouring you. He could never have enough of you.

“Thank you, sir”, you whispered with a smile when he was done assaulting your mouth.

He just smiled back. A genuine smile, the first you had seen from him. It tugged at your heart a little.

You were still feeling restless. Although you had orgasmed four times already, your pussy lips were so inflamed you thought you were on your way down to hell. Still on your knees in front of him, you softly massaged your sensitive clit. It was burning ― you suppressed a sob as you glanced up at him, lips slightly parted.

“What is it? Is your tight pussy still gushing, sweetheart?”, he asked you, cupping your chin.

You nodded, tears of frustration blurring your vision.

“I need more, I can’t ― my pussy is on fire, sir”, you muttered, feeling sorry for yourself. You were in a heightened state of sensory overload.

“Let me help you with that then”, you almost cried of relief at his words.

You quickly got up and kneeled on top of his lap again. He slipped a hand in between your bodies to caress your core. Your flesh trembled at the touch. Suddenly you realised you desperately needed to find your own rhythm ― you didn’t have to communicate it, Joel understood it in a second. He stopped and let you do what you had to do. You placed the palm of your hands on his shoulders and started rubbing your pussy against the side of his still hand. You slid your cunt further up to his elbow, and then returned back to his wrist. Your clit greedily welcomed the tingling sensation of the hair on his forearm against your wet slit.

You kept on rocking your hips back and forth on his forearm, pressing hard against it, sliding, rubbing and causing as much friction as you could, the heat in your belly flowing down to your crotch. You buried your fingers in his wet hair and tilted his head backwards so you could rest your forehead against his. Your inner walls contracted extremely hard and then you let go, squirting plentifully for a few never-ending seconds on Joel’s forearm. Your overstimulated cunt was leaking on top of him as if someone had opened the tap of your pleasure and couldn’t close it. When the last wave of your climax abandoned you, you looked down to see how it all trickled down from his forearm onto his lap.

You closed your eyes, content, when he gently tapped your pussy a few times. You breathed in deeply, feeling completely satisfied, finally at peace. Then you pecked his lips with gratitude.

“Better now, baby?”.

“Yes, infinitely better. I―I’m sorry I made a mess”.

“Don’t you apologise for that”.

You both remained in that position for a few minutes ― his now relaxed, wet cock warmly lodged between the flaps of your still dribbling cunt. He hugged your waist to bring you closer to him, his mouth brushing yours in a moment of calmness you had not experienced with him yet.

When his lips released yours, you placed your cheek against his right shoulder, your fingertips tracing the scar on it. Silence ensued, neither of you felt the need to fill it with words.

As much as you fought against yourself, you had feelings for Joel. Although you probably didn’t know all his faces, you knew enough about him to love him. The way he would have you on your tiptoes with his sarcastic comments, his bluntness, his rudeness, the way he would snap back at you when you pressed his buttons ― but also his kindness, his caring side, his softness, how he worried about you making sure you were okay, his demanding sexual needs, the way he made you feel when his hands mapped out your skin.

But you were not sure what he thought about all of this. In some respects, his mind was inscrutable. It was part of his charming personality, you guessed. You kissed the scar on his shoulder as he buried his face in your hair, inhaling your scent.

“I love how you smell”, he murmured.

“Is that the only thing you love about me?”, you couldn’t resist, the words just slipped out of your mouth. You wished you could take them back, but it was too late for that.

Joel slightly froze in place at your question. He couldn’t deny that he had started to develop feelings for you. The way you looked at him made him want to be a better person. Although you drove him crazy sometimes, you made his days bearable, a shining beautiful light amongst so much darkness. You were his lighthouse, guiding him to shore. He just needed to learn how to surf through the violent waves before he could safely approach the coast.

Knowing how close he had been to losing you had opened his eyes to a new, unknown reality. He would literally kill for you if he had to ― he had already done it and would do it all over again without blinking. No regrets whatsoever.

But he had some unresolved trust issues when it came to romantic relationships. Joel married Sarah’s mother, Charlotte, when they were both twenty-one years old, as soon as they knew they were expecting. The first two years were very hard on them both, parenthood was not a piece of cake. Resentment had grown between them, to the point where Charlotte had accused him of robbing her of her fun years, which led her to cheat on him. They tried to salvage their marriage for the sake of Sarah, but they never did ― Charlotte died in a car accident while on a heated, angry phone call with Joel.

He locked away those thoughts ― it wasn’t the time nor the place to dwell on the past. Not when he had you with him.

“I… well, no. I love everything about you, sweetheart”, he conceded.

Your heart skipped a beat with joy. No, it wasn’t a love confession, but it was much more than what you were expecting of him. You turned your face against his neck and placed a kiss on his Adam’s apple.

“C’mon, let’s freshen up, I want to clean my mess off you, I do feel a bit bad”, you said with a chuckle.

You got off his lap, the cool breeze touching your sweaty skin. You offered him a hand, which he took, standing up behind you. Without letting go of his fingers interlaced with yours, you guided him to the water. It was cold, but you ventured inside with Joel following you. When the level was up to your waist, you turned around in Joel’s embrace.

You proceeded to wash off your cum and his off his cock, his lap, his forearm. When you were done, he kissed the top of your head. His left hand did the same to you, his fingers caressing your pussy, cleaning the proof of your shared pleasure. He did so not in a sexual way, but in a caring, intimate way. A minute later, you both disappeared beneath the water to emerge a second later, to wash off all the sweat. You found yourself in his arms again, your cheek against his chest ― you could hear his heart beating loudly but steadily.

“Joel, I―”, you didn’t know where to start. There were thoughts you had been wanting to put into words for a while now. “What happened to me sucks and I still die a bit inside when the memories come back at night. But none of it was your fault, nor mine. I do not want those bastards to win, to ruin my life. And my life with you. And I know it will take time to heal that part of me, or maybe it will never heal, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want you. I want you so badly, Joel, but what I do not want is you walking on eggshells around me. I’m not broken, I want to move forward, not get stuck in the past. Do you understand what I mean?”, you asked, your cheek still against his chest, looking up at him.

His eyes were focused on yours. His heart shrunk a bit, sharing your pain. If he could, he would take it away, all of it ― the fear, the panic attacks, the agony, the memories, the nightmares. But he couldn’t change the past. So, he nodded.

“I do, honey”, he whispered as he bowed down to place a gentle kiss on your lips.

You both stood there for a few more minutes, hugging each other in silence. Then Joel grumpily ended the embrace.

“We should get back, Tommy is going to kill us”.

You laughed because it was so true. You both got out of the lake, towelled down and got dressed. You started walking towards the campsite besides him ― your hand in his, fingers entangled. When you saw the tent and Tommy’s outline against the fire, you got ready to release his hand. But he didn’t let go when Tommy turned around to look at both of you.

You tried to hide a soft smile ― and failed.

The younger Miller noticed you holding hands but made no comment about it. But he did smile. A very wide smile.

“Well, about damn time, dinner is almost ready”, he said with amusement, pointing to the rabbit impaled with a stick roasting on top of the fire. “If you took any longer, the rabbit was going to come back to life and run away”.

“Always so theatrical, Tommy”, you chuckled.

[bloggingboutburgers]

I think everyone will benefit from properly tagging posts. xreader fics abd ship fics ONLY include the relevent _x_ tags but none of the character's name on its own, allowing all the usual fanart, theories and such to stay on the main name tag and not be crowded out by horny fanfiction (I say this as someone who very much enjoys very horny, very smutty xreader fanfictions. I want to be able to search the fics I want directly without having to trawl through headcanon posts, fanart, unrelated ship posts, etc.).

No one really has a tailored experience on the internet (I'm glad tumblr is at least a little more user dictated than advertiser algorithm based), but I do get the frustration and discomfort that comes from the abundant hornyposting feeling inescapable.

It's tempting to take offence to persistent cries against xreader stuff. I like special POV episodes of shows for the same reason I like xreader fics. My favourite characters WERE the company I kept, my only real form of companionship (albeit simulated) for many many years. Not because I am allo, basically. I sought something to meet my social needs growing up where I was unable to find community or companionship in real life.

Unfortunately, because they are usually sexual in nature I just came to associate a need for human connection with sex (so am I allo or just conditioned to blend sexual, platonic and romantic feelings and actions together?). I was just happy to feel like I had someone to hang out with. I knew they weren't real and that I needed to find real people to connect with (not for lack of trying, kids are just cruel. Finally made friends as an adult, yay).

Didn't intend for any of that to be so sad or pathetic, but hopefully it gives context for the prevalence of xreader fics. Alongside the varied reasons people write / read them (no just blind allo horniness), especially in light of the widespread loneliness epidemic over the past decade.

It's still more than ok to not want anything to do with them either (be it due to being aroace or not - I know plenty of allos who find xreader fics cringe).

Something I need to clarify here – we get it. Well, we don't fundamentally get it, but trust me, we've been told time and time again why people would write/draw/be into xreader content (it's all part of the package of "aroaces MUST put themselves in allo people's shoes at all times"), and we know they're perfectly legitimate reasons, and we don't find it sad or pathetic, or cringe. At the very least I don't at all. That's not what it's about. It's not something as surface-level at that.

The thing is... The same kind of understanding effort is VERY rarely put forward in return for us. And the fact that we're perceived as naysayers is symptomatic of this. We're not crying against xreader content. People are free to do whatever they want. We just want it to be tagged to keep ourselves safe, and so we can appreciate some variety and find fandom content we can properly connect with with the identity we have.

The issue isn't that there is xreader content, or heck, that there's lots of it. It's that, as @kaoruko-han put it, "everyone is assumed to be into this", and that you can't express something as simple as "I'd rather read something else" without being finger-pointed as a villain.

Yeah, no one has a tailored experience online, but there's still a very clear lack of balance on what is acceptable to tailor to or not (and for us, that includes tumblr). And trying to find fan-content while being sex-repulsed? Bruh, you'd better pray on your lucky stars and be ready to trudge through an ocean of stuff that's loaded with the very thing that makes you scared, uncomfortable or downright triggers a feeling of sickness in you, because a lot of it ain't tagged. An alarming amount of people don't bother, because why would people like you exist, right? There's only ever them, and puritan bigots. It's that black and white in a lot of people's heads.

Here's the difference though: we, too, want people to be able to vibe to whatever fan content they want. We just wish "people" included us properly in this case. As it stands now, trying to find fan content that won't give you an uncomfortable feeling as a sex-repulsed person feels kinda like this (I'll try to illustrate that to the best of my ability as a vague comparison, please no one take that as a clear parallel, I'm literally just trying to explain how it feels in a way people who have no idea how it feels might understand): you're not into gore at all, you don't wanna look at it, but your streaming platform keeps recommending you those series that are loaded with gore. You try to filter it out, but no matter where you go, you keep being recommended those series. And no one ever gets your discomfort and you're being branded as nothing but a wet blanket for not wanting to see gore. It's kinda like that.

At this point I admire sex-repulsed or romance-repulsed people who still TRY to find anything at all in fandom spaces. I've stopped reading fanfic altogether and I've largely stopped engaging with the large majority of fandom spaces for those reasons. And that wasn't an easy choice, or one that I find fun because it feels incredibly lonely, but it's the result of years of exhaustion and strain on my mental health trying to navigate something that's so hostile to me at its core, even if it's unintentional.

So... Yeah. We know the reasons, just like the content itself, they're kinda impossible to ignore. But we are largely being ignored in this, and it's not just something at an "ick" or "picky" level ; for a sex-repulsed person, being spammed with sex entails much more than that. It's not even frustration anymore at this point, it's downright despair a lot of the time. So... Yeah, like you said, everyone would benefit from stuff being more properly tagged. For us it'd be so huge to know our safety is taken into account – that we're taken into account at all. Thing is, we're not, and we're so invisible in this and most other things that at this point, I don't have much hope. Sex-related controversies allo people can understand would sooner create a change than anything done for our sake.

[thefixations-ofmine]

Pairing: Evan Buckley x Tommy Kinard AU (911)

Word count: 3.3K

Warnings: age gap, blowjob (m receiving), rimming, pet names

Summary: Former high school football star Evan Buckley navigates his new adult life. A broken down car takes him to the nearest body shop, where a very handsome 30-something mechanic catches his eye - and he's good with his hands too!

A/N: Yay, a new fic! This has been sitting in my head for a while and I finally put it down into words after seeing this manip photo of Oliver with longer hair. Sadly, I put aside some things I had already started, but I'm happy to get more work out there! Constructive criticism is welcome. Enjoy!

Main Masterlist | Drabbles Masterlist

“Helping number 36!” A young lady announces over the intercom. A shared gasp fills the room at the loud intrusion, and everyone has a look at their ticket. Evan sighs finally! He walks into the service area and heads to where an assistant is waiting to get his ticket.

“36?” A short man in glasses questions.

“That’s me! I’m Evan,” he answers with a handshake.

“Great, Evan. What brings you in today?”

He goes on for a solid fifteen minutes about all the troubles with his car. From the screeching breaks to the clicking steering and so on. His folks couldn’t afford a new car for when he got his license, and with their money and his combined, a deadbeat ‘64 Buick Skylark was all he could get - while still looking badass. It got him from point A to point B, albeit all the times he had to stop to nudge something back in place or to make sure the oil level was still right. He was saving to get himself a car that was at least of the decade, but it was proving longer than initially planned with all the fixing and maintenance on this one.

“Well, we have a really great old school mechanic, and an open schedule, so we can actually get started today if you’d like!” The assistant states, and proceeds to give him a rundown of the costs. Evan nods and runs back to his car to back it into a garage spot.

“Little further!” He hears a voice call from behind the trunk, unable to see the face of the man in the mirror. “Alright!” He adds waving his hands, and Evan breaks abruptly. He gets out of the car and starts rambling about what needs to be fixed, until a hand on his shoulder stops him.

“We’ve got it, kid.” The deep voice says again, and Evan turns this time, getting a first look at his face. And what a face! He’s surprised at first that he has to look up at him (even for just a few inches), and he rapidly gets lost in his striking blue eyes. “We’ll take care of it like it’s our own,” the mystery man says, bringing Evan back to reality.

“Um, thanks. Yeah, that would be, um, great!” He’s met with a reassuring smile, crinkly nose and all. He smiles back, trying to act as cool.

“I see you play,” Tommy (Evan remembered he could read for a second and saw his name tag) tries to start a conversation, pointing at the high school logo on his t-shirt. He nods. Tommy laughs. “I also used to a few years back. Same high school. Didn’t stick though, I was good with my hands but for different reasons.” If the blush on Evan’s cheeks wasn’t already apparent, that last statement accompanied by a wink surely painted his face a lovely crimson shade. If anything, it keeps Evan from telling him he actually graduated last year, but that’s besides the point.

He lets his eyes wander on the man’s body as he walks around to the hood; he guesses he’s around thirty. His thick veiny hands run along the metal, and thicker, veinier arms struggle to stay contained in the white t-shirt, proving he did in fact play sports in his youth. He likes what he sees, and doesn't know how to act about it. There was one thing a small town high school couldn’t provide you with; a well diverse sex-ed class. Not that nobody talked about it, but it was more often in a bad light than in a supportive kind of chit-chat in the back of a locker room. He had only been exposed to “educative” material through dodgy websites - though he owed his quarter-back wrist strength to that!

Today though, Evan would be happy to learn and explore.

“I’m sorry, do you guys have any water?” He manages to blurt out, running a finger into the neck of his shirt and his other hand up the side of his jeans.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to use the hose, kid.” Tommy points him to the side of the building a few feet away. Evan rushes to it, and almost drowns from the big gulps he’s inhaling, and doesn’t notice Tommy’s watching. Doesn’t see how he licks his lips at the sight of his own mouth pursed, and the sway of his Adam’s apple as he swallows vigorously. How Tommy’s eyes run down his arched back as he’s holding himself up with a hand on his knee. When he’s done drinking, some stray drops run down his chin and Tommy wants to lap at them. He clears his throat and goes back to examining the engine when their eyes meet.

A couple hours has brought the awkward moment to a well established conversation between the two as they exchange about cars and Fantasy Football predictions - both of them stealing looks every once in a while, silently eating the other up. When Evan runs his hand on his stomach as it growls, Tommy takes the opportunity to ask:

“Do you wanna grab a bite?”

“Huh?” Evan asks, his brain scrambled from the heat and the blood filling his semi.

“I think I’ll need at least another day before I’m done, and the last piece I took out will keep you from driving home,” he begins. “I thought maybe we could grab a bite and I can drive you back?” There’s another sensation added to the hunger in Evan’s stomach, one he had felt a long time ago when an exchange student from England had arrived at their school. He’d gotten Evan in a corner one day and kissed his lips, and Evan let him for several seconds before he pushed him away, embarrassed - confused. He told him he wasn’t mad, but that this didn’t have to happen again or be made known to others. He still hates himself after all those years for not apologizing before the guy went back home.

“I. Yeah, yeah. That would be great.” He finds the strength to answer.

“Awesome. Let me get out of these overalls and I’ll be right there.”

Evan guides Tommy down the streets of his neighbourhood after leaving the diner, where he had the best burgers of his life. Didn’t I tell ya, kid? He remembers Tommy had said when Evan moaned at the taste of the greasy patty. He turned red right there again, but when his eyes landed on Tommy���s, he realized they were both bothered and hot by the situation. If he was reading it right…

Kid. Evan can’t shake the hold that pet name has on him, a weird mix of adoration and degradation. He wasn’t a kid! He was 19! But then again, in contrast to the well-established, rugged man sitting next to him, as he watches his fingers drum absentmindedly to a Kiss song on the steering wheel, Evan can understand why he uses that word. He hopes it isn’t derogatory, but is willing to prove Tommy wrong. 

When they get to Evan’s house, Tommy drives his car into the empty driveway and turns the engine off with a content sigh. “I guess that’s my stop,” Evan jokes and clumsily goes to tap the center console, unaware that Tommy had leaned his arm onto it, the contact of his hand hitting the strong skin sends a shiver down his spine. Like a deer in headlights, he stays like this, not budging a finger until he hears Tommy chuckle deeply.

“You okay there, buddy?” That was a new one, Evan notes, and he’s sure now that he read the situation wrong because Tommy must see him as a bro, as his little brother’s friend who’s always squatting in the basement. But the second later, Evan is shoved into a new reality when he feels Tommy’s left hand come to cradle his chin to turn his head his way. He’s unable to tell if he’s still breathing, but that can be done manually so he should survive even in the confined space around them. There’s a tentative look in Tommy’s expression, a light smirk as his eyes volley in a triangle between Evan’s lips, his eyes, and the few bunches of curls that pop out of his cap. When the hand on his arm tightens instinctively, Tommy takes the plunge and crashes their lips together.

It’s hungry and unfiltered, and what Buck gives in clumsiness Tommy can redirect and show him he’s really into this. As if his grunts or the hand creeping to the back of Evan’s neck weren’t enough proof that Tommy wasn’t just trying to be nice. That’s when Evan realizes he’s kissing back, and grunting too, and he’s not going to have to feel sorry for the near future because of his stupid brain. He unfastens his seatbelt to try and kneel onto the seat until Tommy laughs into his mouth, now open from having been explored by a hungry tongue.

“Evan,” he begins, “are you sure about this?” There’s a frown on Evan’s face and he wonders what he did wrong, until Tommy corrects: “I mean, is this okay here in the car? Won’t anybody just walk by?” And then Evan smiles.

“My parents are out of town for the week, if you would, um. If you’d like, we can go inside.” It’s like the puffiness of his lips is keeping him from talking properly, but Tommy’s eager to get out of the car and follows Evan to the door, hooking one of his fingers into a loop at the back of his jeans, that way he can pull Evan against him as he shuts the door. They makeout in the entryway for several minutes, hands rushing to touch the other’s skin.

“Sit on the couch,” Tommy says firmly. Evan’s stomach flips again. He obliges, and sits awkwardly on one side of the couch, leaving room for Tommy, completely oblivious to his intentions. Until Tommy grabs both sides of Evan’s ass and manhandles him onto the center, and finds a comfortable spot between his legs on his knees, then Evan understands where this is going and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t send a sweat down his back.

“I, um,” he struggles. “This is um... Has never happened before.” He’s already a panting, sweaty mess even though he’d been in this position before - granted the subjects on the floor were much more petite, delicate and feminine. This was uncharted territory he definitely wanted to wander into, but he felt like he forgot his flashlight and was walking barefoot in gravel through the expedition.

“It’s alright, kid. I just want to take care of you for tonight if you’ll let me, no expectations.” It reassures him already, and he nods in approbation. “You stop me whenever, tap my shoulder and I’ll be gone.” He chuckles along with Tommy, and bites his bottom lip when he’s already working on his fly. He makes quick work of it; good with his hands, Evan thinks back.

And boy does he prove it fast. Evan’s not sure he even got to take three breaths in before Tommy was running his thumb along the bottom of his head, applying a faint pressure that had his blood pumping just right, filling his length the rest of the way, causing him to hiss sharply through his teeth. There seems to be a surprised excitement in Tommy’s expression, and he’s not sure if it’s at his size or the way he’s pathetically putty in his hands already, but he’d let that live in the back of his mind forever.

“Breathe, baby boy,” Tommy encourages as he pumps him now. It’s not the usual technique he’d use on himself, but Tommy found that one to be a safe bet most of the time. He feels Evan relax under him, his legs falling a little further apart and Tommy takes advantage to creep into the new space. His arms are holding Evan’s hips down, his left hand wanders under his t-shirt onto the tight, soft stomach of the sweet boy before him. He’s in pain, straining the zipper of his jeans and he curses himself for wanting to look nice rather than throw on some sweats. But it’s not about him. He hasn’t had dick in his mouth for way too long now, and when that buff twink walked into the garage, he knew there was something to play with in those hugging blue jeans.

“That’s it,” he praises, kissing the tip and sucking the bead of precum that had threatened to glide down. “You taste so good.”

“Than- Thank you sir,” Evan moans from deep in his chest. Tommy’s eyes roll to the back of his head, and he sucks in just the tip, then maybe an inch or two, then three, until Evan is a shaking mess under his grip. He sucks his cheeks in on his way up, trying to wet him as much as possible, before connecting their gaze and sinking down fully in a single movement, his nose poking the taunt pubic flesh. Tommy could almost come in his pants at the sight of Evan’s reaction. He can only imagine nobody had gotten that monster down fully without struggling before, and Tommy secretly thanks his first busy years out of the closet for the practice. He pops off after a few seconds.

“Is that okay?” He’s teasing, of course. The wet sounds of his hand pumping with purpose already answer his question.

“Is that… Are you, are you fucking kidding?” He throws his head back with a punched laugh, sending his cap to fall onto his lap. Tommy grabs it and puts it on backwards, and Evan has to shut his eyes or he’ll embarrass himself in the next seconds. The look makes Tommy pass for one of his team mates, and there’s a jolt in his stomach at the idea of fooling around with him in the lockers in high school. Though the age difference dynamic is still strongly present; he can confirm from the tricks Tommy is pulling on him. “It’s, it’s so good Tommy.” He pulls out his name in a high pitched moan. Tommy knows he doesn’t have that many pulls left before he’s tipping him over the edge.

He pulls the coffee table behind him a little closer, until his body is slightly nudged underneath it, and he gently lifts Evan’s feet so they rest on it, spreading him just how he intends. He doesn’t waste his time plunging in, dragging his nose along the crease of Evan’s thigh, then the other, pushing into his balls in the passing. His hands have found a safe place just under his knees, so his dick can get a break as he explores him, smells him. He digs a little lower, and gives a trial lick to Evan’s taint, reading his immediate moan as a sign to keep going until he’s fully making out with his asshole moments later. Tommy groans into him when he feels the curious drag of the boy’s fingers into his hair,  the cap long discarded, asking him to stay right there just a tad longer until he’s a writhing mess and Tommy knows he’s gotta take action. Evan’s legs are burning, his stomach feels stiff and he’s not sure whether the pressure in his head is from an upcoming aneurysm or simply that he’s never had his soul sucked out of his body this expertly.

Evan doesn’t even realize Tommy’s lips are back around his dick until he teases his teeth along the top of his tip, soothing it immediately with a pass of his tongue, ellissiting the loudest, most embarrassing sound he’s ever let out in his - numerous - sexual experiences. His fingers are going numb into the fabric of the couch, his nails threatening to strip off. But he’s not close to putting a stop to whatever Tommy had going on; he hasn’t peeped down in a few minutes, scared that the sight of Tommy looking back at him would have him spill way too quickly. He’s biting his tongue now, because he’s just as close and doesn’t know how to let Tommy know.

There’s no actual moment to think because the next second, Tommy’s nose is up against his pubes and he swallows around him once, and twice. And maybe a third time for good measure. And Evan has to let him know he’s about to coat the back of his throat before he’s making a fool of himself, but Tommy’s deadly grip onto his hips is acting on his ability to enunciate anything.

“To-” He’s at least going to try. “Tommy,” he adds. He brings a hand to venture into his curls again, tugging a little hoping he catches the clue. But Tommy is urging on and has his mind set on the goal. He looks up, winks at Evan and takes one last breath before sinking back down fully, swishing his tongue on the bottom of Evan’s dick and managing to bring it out just enough to give his balls some attention.

Evan’s ears start ringing, he’s seeing white. Am I fucking dying? Then Tommy pulls back and tugs on him a few times until the string snaps and he’s emptying himself into the cup Tommy formed with his tongue, moaning and screaming and gasping for air and he’s panicking at the never ending ropes. He’d come again if he had any energy left when Tommy retrieves his tongue and swallows his load with a deep groan of satisfaction.

“I knew you’d be fucking sweet,” he states. Tommy runs his hands along Evan’s thighs, soothing the downfall of such a high.  He kisses along the muscles of his stomach and up to his neck, where he lays a long, open-mouth kiss to the sweet spot behind his ear. “Was that okay?” He’s genuinely asking.

“You’ve gotta stop doubting yourself, sir.” Evan puffs out a laugh. “This, um - This was the best fucking thing I’ve ever experienced.” He leans back into the couch and runs a hand into his hair, still unsure if the light from earlier wasn’t the end of the tunnel. But the warmth Tommy radiates around his body proves he’s still very alive..

“Well, I’m glad you had a good time, baby,” Tommy answers, daring a quick peck to his lips. He gets up and extends his hands to help Evan up also, making the poor boy realize the big problem he’s created;

“Do you, um. Should I-” He looks down.

“Oh, kitten, no. Don’t worry about me, okay?” Tommy deflects his intentions, hoping to buy himself a separate alone time with the pretty boy. “Plus, I’ll see you tomorrow for your appointment, huh?” He winks. Evan makes a mental note to be refreshed and energized for the day, already planning his undeniable turn for the deed. There’s a light stress in his chest at the thought of having his first experience as a giver with a man be so soon. But he’s on fire standing in front of the most handsome man he’s ever seen, who’s more than likely going to ravish him as soon as he lifts a finger, so he’s not going to fuck this chance up.

“I’ll be there on time, sir.” He nods, walking with Tommy to the front door. He owes him at least a decent goodnight.

“Bring that cute smile of yours.” Tommy has Evan blushing effortlessly, but he’s feeling a little bold. Before Tommy’s hand can turn the handle, he’s got him plastered to the door, and rushes to kiss him silly, moaning and toying with his tongue until they’re both breathless again - and as a preview, lets his hand cup at the slowly dying erection in Tommy’s jeans, earning a playful bite to his bottom lip.

“I’ll bring more than that.”

[myg-butterfly]

How Many Things

Yoongi x Reader

Summary: Yoongi invites you out to a party with him, and in trust, you say yes. But what happens when you lose him in the crowd, just to find him again with someone else by his side? In the midst of panic and longing, you wonder how many things he thinks about before he gets to you.

Tags: Non-Idol AU, Anti-Social Reader, Hurt/Comfort, Angst/Fluff

Warnings: Anxiety, descriptions of panic attacks, Yoongi is an asshole for a minute, some of his friends are big time assholes, insecurities, social anxiety, lots of feelings, Teahyung and Namjoon are sweethearts, crying, jealousy, author's first fic lol.

A/N: HEY HELLO HI!!! This is my first fic that I'm publishing here so pls be gentle 🙏 And if you enjoy, leave feedback, good or bad, I love interactions. This is self-indulgent comfort that I've been thinking about for a long while and I was like ,,,,,, Yoongi got me 🥰🙏 Also this was slightly inspired by Sabrina Carpenter's "how many things" from her album EICS go listen if you want the extra angst. So yeah, enjoy!

main masterlist

You began to panic, the music was so, so loud, the clattering of dishes and glasses from the bar, the yelling, all the bodies and their humidity, it was all becoming too much, and to your dismay, Yoongi was nowhere to be seen.

You tried to recollect yourself as you began pushing through the crowd, determined on finding him. With every slip past a person, every step and stumble, you grew even more exhausted, but then finally, Yoongi came into view.

He was to the other end of the bar, a smile plastered in all his glory. Whoever he was talking to was clearly making him laugh, and just the sight of him made the tension in your shoulders ease a little bit. You were just about to call out to him, maybe even when fling yourself in his arms, but then-

Then you saw her. The one responsible for the way his face was currently scrunched with a happy grin. They stood close to each other, even as they turned the other way and moved to take a seat together at the bar. They were hand in hand, they looked like the human embodiment of perfection.

You felt your heart deflate as Yoongi pulled out a chair for her, proceeding to signal something to the bartender, the peace sign on his fingers and the pointing between him and her gave you the idea he asked for a drink for both of them. They continued to laugh and talk, and you had to force yourself to look away.

The sight of them made you remember why you hated going out, but even worse, you remembered why you vowed to not get romantically attached to anyone, especially not Yoongi.

The turning of your stomach was becoming hard to ignore, your quick breaths making matters worse. You knew you had to get out of there; with or without Yoongi. So with one last glance at him -who was still engrossed deeply in conversation with the woman next to him, leaning to whisper something in her ear and her reacting in a flustered manner- you fought your way to the door, tears beginning to spill the moment the night breeze greeted you.

As much as you wanted to just run and run and run until your body gave out on you, you knew better than to try and make it back to the dorms by foot.

You sighed defeatedly and pulled out your phone, texting the one person who you knew would be here without fail. As much as you didn't like bothering him (even though he's told you countless times you're not) you knew he'd scold you if you walked home on your own, and a scolding from him was never an enjoyable experience.

Y/N: are you busy rn?

Namjoon: Not currently. Why?

Y/N: can u pls come pick me up

Namjoon: Where are you? Are you safe?

Y/N: yeah, here's my location *📍*

Namjoon: I'll be there in less than 10. Stay put, okay?

Y/N: ok. ty joon.

Putting your phone away, you sat at the nearest bench you found, and attempted to stop the tears from falling further before Namjoon arrived.

But no matter how hard you tried, it was pretty much impossible to not think about why you were out here in the first place. Were you overreacting? Yoongi's allowed to have friends. So why are you so hurt? It's not even like you're together or anything.

In all honesty, you wanted to be mad at them.

You wanted to be mad at him for giving you even the slightest hope that there might be something more between you two.

You wanted to be mad at that girl he was with for being so damn perfect for him, for being everything that you could never begin to come close to.

But deep down you didn't have it in you to be angry at anyone but yourself.

How could you have been so stupid?

You knew that no one would want you romantically, you knew that all he felt for you was pity, that you'd never come first, and yet you still got your hopes up.

You let yourself dream that he wanted you like you wanted him. You believed all those things he said out of pity, all the reassurances and compliments, you knew that they were nothing but him simply being who he is; a naturally kind person.

You knew all of this, so why the hell were you crying? Why were you walking out and aimlessly trying to find anywhere else to go?

'Pathetic' you scoffed at yourself. You were being immature, everything everyone else had said about you was true. You were stupid to think otherwise.

Before you could continue to wallow in your self-pity, you felt a small tap to your shoulder, and you looked up to find Namjoon looking down at you.

"Y/N? Are you alright?" You quickly wiped away your remaining tears and nodded your head, standing up to greet him. "Yes, yes, I'm fine. Thank you for coming Namjoon." You bowed slightly, trying your best to look well put together. "It's no problem dear. My car's this way, come on."

"You want me to drive you back to your apartment?" You both got in his car and he asked as you put on your seatbelts. "Yes, please. Thank you." He only hummed in response as he began to drive, a soft tune playing on the radio, just loud enough to make it less awkward.

Namjoon knew you probably weren't in the mood to talk, and you were grateful for the silent understanding you guys shared. You weren't awfully close, but you'd shared your own personal memories with each other, and you mutually knew the other would be willing to lend a hand when needed. That's what you liked about him. He was just understanding like that.

The drive to your apartment was short, and even though you lived on the 3rd floor, Namjoon insisted on walking you to your door.

"Hey, take care okay? If you need anything else don't hesitate to call me, yeah?" He said as you reached your door, the genuine look on his face made you tear up once more.

"Yeah. Thank you, Joon." You waved him off as you stepped into your apartment, closing the door as he began to turn around.

You immediately kicked off your heels and went to grab a glass of water. You chugged it down as if you hadn't had a drop of water in days, proceeding to open your fridge and let the waterworks begin as you realized your appetite was gone just seeing the carton of orange juice sitting there with a sticky note that reads, "YOONGI'S!!! DO NOT DRINK >:("

He'd helped you with your groceries about 2 weeks ago, and the orange juice he bought was claimed by him, protesting that he needed "emergency juice" because he was at your apartment so often.

Not wanting to look at his skrunkly handwriting anymore, you shut the fridge door and rested your head in your hands on the kitchen counter.

The more you thought about it, the more prominent the ache in your chest became. He was the one who invited you to that party in the first place. He was the one who wanted you to have fun. He was the one that promised he wouldn't leave your side. Yet here you were, back at the dorms, hugging yourself in attempts to conceal your heartbreak.

If you had gone on your own and just happened to see him there with another girl, then that would have been a different story.

But no.

Yoongi himself told you two nights ago that he was invited to a party, and he wanted you to accompany him as his plus one. And as nervous and hesitant as you were, he spurred you on, encouraging; "No matter what you wear you'll look stunning." And "Everyone will love you" and "I won't leave your side, okay?"

That one stung the most when you thought about it, because not even 15 minutes into the party, Yoongi was nowhere to be seen. You could tell that most of his friends weren't too fond of you, and you felt ridiculous in the pink dress you wore.

You thought of how you'd taken hours to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and not cry at your appearance made you cringe. You tried so hard to look nice, to feel pretty, to feel wanted, and it still didn't work.

You grew angrier, why weren't you good enough? What made it so hard to love you? You practically ripped off your dress, the fabric suddenly piercing your skin, your arms wiping off your already smearing makeup furiously, and you stomped to your bed, plopping down violently before letting out a strangled groan that sounded more like a whimper.

You felt like shit. Your whole night was shit.

Were you overreacting? You had been rude too. I mean, you left without even telling him. You're just as bad, right?

He's the one who left you standing there, Y/N. Your brain going back and forth until you decided that falling asleep would be easier.

"Sooo how'd it go with lover boy last night? Assuming things went well from what I saw." An overly excited Taehyung appeared at your side, a smug grin on his face as he poked your arms. You just shrugged your shoulders as a response, the mere mention of the previous night was enough to deflate your already souring mood.

"Don't give me that look, Y/N! I know you and Yoongi got it on last night!" Taehyung flailed his arms accusingly, as if waddling around would make his statements true. "We didn't get it on, Taehyung. Literally nothing happened. Nothing." You tried to remain calm as you spoke, but your patience was running thin.

"Oh come on Y/N. Yoongi was absolutely plastered this morning and you're gonna try to tell me nothing happened?" He kept on going as he shook your shoulders, and it took everything in you to not slap his hands away.

"Did he get home safe last night?" Your brows furrowed in slight worry at the mention of Yoongi being wasted, and no matter how hurt you were, you had to know if he was okay.

"Uh, yeah. Were you drunk too? I thought you guys left together. Do you not remember?" The lump in your throat was becoming harder to swallow down as Taehyung spoke. You had to be strong. You were not gonna cry over this to your poor friend who's excited.

"You know I don't drink. And, no we didn't leave together. I asked Namjoon to take me home." You hoped he'd stop asking questions, but much to your dismay- "You left with Namjoon?!?! Does Yoongi know?!?!? Did anything happen with him!?" At this point you were on the brink of tears, you hated talking about this.

"Taehyung, please let it go. I just wanted to know if Yoongi got home safely. Can we please just drop it?" Taehyung caught onto your pleading tone and the hurt look in your eyes, and he nodded with his softened expression.

"Sorry Y/N, I didn't mean to pry." He spoke cautiously. "It's okay Tae."

He shot you another worried look before returning to walking in silence beside you once again.

The rest of the day went painfully slow, your mind too exhausted to deal with walking from one side of campus to the other, and much less to pay attention to what your professors were saying.

Expectedly, you collapsed onto your bed the moment you went back to your dorm. You were gladly going to continue feeling sorry for yourself, but the ringing of your doorbell rudely interrupted you.

You groaned, hoping they'd just go away, but after a few seconds another ring came. You [grumpily] got up, running your hands through your hair in attempt to look somewhat presentable.

As you made your way to the door, you wondered who could be at your apartment, especially now that it was beginning to get late, the sun going down quickly outside.

You hesitantly opened the door, immediately wishing you would've just continued to ignore whoever was at the door once you saw who was standing in front of you.

"Hi, I brought dinner." There Yoongi stood with a soft smile on his face, lifting a brown bag in reference to dinner.

You stood stunned, wanting to say something, but your mind went blank.

"Y/N? You there?" He playfully waved his hands around trying to get your attention.

"Oh, uhm, yeah. Sorry. Just didn't expect you to come by."

"Oh, sorry if I startled you. I texted you but you didn't respond, and you didn't answer last night when I called, so I wanted to come check if you were okay." He shuffled from foot to foot, worry evident in his eyes.

"Oh, just haven't been on my phone lately." You looked down, feeling unsure on how to talk to him without showing him your hurt.

"Oh alright. So, we heading in for dinner?" The smile returned to Yoongi's face, and no matter how hurt you were, you still found it hard to say no to him.

"Oh, yeah, sure. Of course."

You opened the door a little further and stepped aside to let him in.

On a normal occasion, dinner with Yoongi would've been the highlight of your day. But now, it was filled with awkward silence and poor attempts at small talk — Yoongi hates small talk as much as you, so you don't know why he's still trying — the tension in the air was hardly going unnoticed.

It wasn't until you finished eating that he decided to just rip the bandage off.

"Are you angry with me?" Yoongi asked, and you almost questioned if he was being serious or not, but the expression he held made you realize that he was in fact clueless about the hurt he put you through.

You weren't sure what to say, so you stayed silent. I mean, it's not like you were angry at him. But you also weren't too happy with him either. Yoongi felt his heart drop as your gaze dropped his own, denying him from an answer.

"Y/N? Did I do something?" He asks from across the table where he's sitting.

For some reason hearing those words from him made the tears you've been holding back so well spill over.

Did he really have no idea? Were you genuinely overreacting? Did you just make everything up in your head?

"Do you really not know?" You tried to push your voice out firmly, but it came out in a broken whisper. You wanted to look at Yoongi, you wanted to see if his face washed over with realization, but your eyes stayed glued to the floor.

"Is this about me getting drunk at that party? I thought you said you didn't mind if I had alcohol." His wording sounded harsher than he intended, but with your already weakened state, you had to hold back from full on sobbing right there in front of him.

"This is about you leaving me by myself in the middle of the party when you promised you wouldn't leave my side!" Your frustration began to take over, did he really not see it? He's supposed to know you better than anyone else.

"Leaving you by yourself? Last thing I heard, you had found yourself a new companion for the night." Yoongi scoffed, his mood souring when he recalls finding out that apparently you'd left with some other guy.

The drinks he'd had were enough to make the night slightly blurry and to make him work a little harder to recall the night's events, but unfortunately, they weren't enough to make him forget how someone had stole you away from him.

"Where did you hear that?" You asked, trying to mask the hurt you were currently feeling.

"My friends" He responded, as if that was supposed to change what you had said.

"Your friends ... the ones you introduced me to?"

"Yeah"

"Your friends really don't seem to like me." You muttered, but Yoongi somehow caught the soft mumbling.

"What do you mean? To me it looked like they were all happy to meet you." His tone remained cold, and you felt more tears forming quickly.

"Well, you weren't there with me when they all laughed at me because I'd lost you in the crowd." You tried to defend yourself.

"They're not like that, I know they aren't."

"You wouldn't know how they acted towards me because you left me alone." You continued on, his face morphing into one resembling more of guilt.

"He left you already? Didn't even last half an hour."

"They haven't even had 1 drink tonight, no wonder Yoongi ran away so fast. Prude."

You winced while recalling how they'd laughed at you when you tried asking for Yoongi, passing it off as a joke when you'd gotten visibly upset.

You softened your tone, sadness catching up with you and replacing your frustration.

"It hurt, Yoongi. You know me better than anyone. You're supposed to know me better than anyone. You know how much I hate parties and bars, how I hate talking to people I don't know, how I don't do things alone. Ever. And you know that if I made you promise to not leave my side it's because I'm not ever planning to leave yours either. Do you know how bad it hurt to be panicking only to turn around and see you having the time of your life? Especially with someone else, when you promised me that night was for you and I only? It hurt, so damn bad."

Yoongi's heart dropped at your words, had it really been that bad for you? How did he not notice?

"I didn't leave with anyone yesterday, Namjoon brought me back to my apartment and left the moment I walked inside that door. You're the one that left with someone else last night, and it wasn't me."

A thick moment of silence engulfs you, and you begin to wait for a snap, or some sort of outburst from Yoongi, but all that comes is—

"Y/N... I- Shit. That's not-" You looked up hesitantly at the sound of Yoongi fumbling his words. He ran a hand through his hair in disbelief before slowly moving closer and crouching down in front of you. "I'm so sorry Y/N. I swear didn't mean to leave you. I went to go get the drinks, I did. And then when I couldn't find you I went and asked my friends if they had seen you, and they said that you'd gone off dancing with some guy, and so I went to go look for you and I ran into a classmate, which is the girl you saw me with. And I thought, since Y/N's off with someone else, it wouldn't hurt to have a drink with a girl from my class. I wouldn't have left you if I knew that you were by yourself. I'm so sorry."

Yoongi's gaze dropped to the floor as he finished, ashamed for being the root of your tears.

"I should've known better, I- I was just so opposed to seeing you happy with someone else that I immediately rejected the idea of looking for you to avoid the possibility of someone else making your night special. And I know that's not really a valid excuse, not looking for you because I was jealous- of something that wasn't even fucking happening- it isn't fair to you whatsoever. I'm so sorry, Y/N. I truly am." He takes your hands in his and takes a moment to recollect his next words.

"What can I do to make it up to you? Even if it's just the smallest fraction, I want to show you how sorry I am. Anything you want. Please." You paused for a moment, even though your conscience immediately knew what you wanted.

Hold me. Please. Hold me. Nudge your head with mine, lock our pinkies, put your leg against mine, anything. Please, hold me.

With your brain screaming mantras of 'I need to be held', you reached out for him for a second, before your body jerked to a stop.

No. I need him to hold me. I need him to reach out. He needs to initiate- please-

Yoongi's quick to notice your body language, and equally quick to react. "Do you want to be held, sweetheart?" You swear you felt yourself physically start to glow at the sound of him uttering the words you've been dying to hear for god knows how long.

You nod your head and you're so delighted by the aspect of someone- well, not just someone, but Yoongi- comforting you, that you don't even notice the soft whimper that leaves you as he scoots closer to you.

"Words, darling." He says softly, and your body automatically responds with soft chants of "Yes, please, yes Yoongi."

You don't even notice how tears begin to fall against your cheeks again when you feel Yoongi's hands wiping them away.

"C'mere, I've got you baby. Let's go to bed, yeah?" He grabs your legs and wraps them around his torso, before he holds you against him tightly and begins to stand up with you in his arms.

You feel yourself melting at the pet names he's giving you, glad that he's carrying you because you're sure your legs would've given out on you at this point.

You continue turning to mush when you feel how gently Yoongi sets you down once you reach your bed, how he squeezes your hand and asks for permission to lay with you with his eyes, how he reaches for you under the covers and cradles you close, fingers running through your hair softly.

The bliss is only momentarily, broken when your mouth moves faster than your brain;

"Yoongi?"

"Hm?"

"Why did it upset you when you thought I was at the club with someone else?" Your question comes out as a whisper, scared for his response.

"Y/N." He pulls back a little to see your face.

"Yoongi." You reply mocking his tone.

"Are you really gonna make me spell it out for you?" He's secretly glad that it's dark in your room, otherwise you'd be able to see the blush coating his cheeks.

"What are you talking about?" You ask, and his only response is a huff while pulling your head back into his chest.

"Yoooongiiii" Your whine comes out muffled by his shirt.

"Y/nnnnnn" It's now Yoongi's turn to mock your tone.

"Answer the questionnnn"

You feel the vibrations of his chest as he mumbles something into your hair, and you would've lost it on the spot if you weren't so focused on getting an answer out of him.

"Yoongi I can't understand you when you're mumbling like a child." You chuckle slightly, not wanting to dwell on how you can feel his heart beating rapidly against you before he mumbles once again, only this time louder.

"I don't understand you for shit." At this, Yoongi lets go of you and sits up with a sigh, looking at you for a second before securing his gaze on his hands. You follow suit and sit up as well, only slightly behind him.

"I like you. I've liked you. For a really long while." His voice is so soft and it sounds so timid, you almost think you're imagining it.

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"Wait- that's not a good way to respond to that. Uhhh- wait." You quickly shift so you're facing him fully.

"Do you mean like as in 'you're a homie' or like as in 'you're not just the homie you're THE homie'? Because before I say anything you would have to clari-"

"Do you think I do this with all my friends?" He cuts off your nervous ramble, grabbing both of your shaky hands with his equally shaken ones.

"What specifically?"

"All of it."

"Wha-"

"The sharing food? The holding hands and carrying you and bringing dinner over and inviting them everywhere with me? The cuddling and the 'baby' and 'doll'? You know how I am about my personal space, and you know how I am about my sleep, and you know how I am about affection. Do you think I do that with just anyone?"

"Well- I don't know, I mean- I don't know what your other friendsh-"

"I don't. You're the only one that gets to see me like this. You're the only one I treat like this. You're the only one I want to treat like this. I like you. And I want to be with you. And that's why I was upset. Because when I thought you were with someone else, it made me feel as if you didn't want the same thing as me."

Before you got the chance to even begin to process, Yoongi catches himself and feels the need to justify: "Obviously if you don't feel the same then I won't like, lash out at you or anything, it'll hurt but I don't want you to feel forced into something more with me than what we have now, it's just you asked me why I was upset and that was the only way I could explain it but I-"

"Yoongi." He's stopped by a soft tug to his shirt and the even softer sound of your voice.

You catch each other's eyes, the flickers of hope and longing between them, and the search of honesty.

"I feel the same."

A sigh leaves his lips and he breaks into a smile before picking you up in one motion and setting you on his lap so you're straddling him.

"Does this mean we're like, um- like,,,,"

"Like...?" His tone is teasing, and you know he knows what you mean.

"Like, y'know- like..."

"I actually don't know...."

"Yoongi." You huff out, your shyness getting the best of you.

"Yes?" His tone is smug, making you groan into his chest.

Working off of pure adrenaline, you mumble quietly: "Like, together."

"What was that doll?" You could practically hear the smirk on his face, making you try and shuffle away from him, but Yoongi's quicker, pulling you back into him with a giggle.

"If you're asking if we're officially dating, then don't even question it baby." He's still laughing, but his tone is firmer this time.

"So I'm taking that as a yes?"

"Fuck yes."

You burst out laughing at his response, and soon enough you've both fallen into a fit of giggles, as well as back into the bed, with you on top of Yoongi, before he flips you over so he's hovering over you.

"Y/N."

"Yoongi?"

"Can I kiss you?"

End.

[delilahcalicocat]

{Home.}

{Rating: Mainly Fluff, Smut.}

{Warnings: Unprotected Sex, Overstimulation, Multiple Orgasms, Swearing, Dom/Sub Dynamic, Kissing, Hugging}

{Pairing: Cody Rhodes x Fem!Reader}

{Tag list❤️✨️💗: @alyyaanna @nightmare-viper}

★~★~★~★~★~★~★~★~★~★~★~★~★~★~

Many weeks had passed, you were unable to sleep some nights, you were exhausted. Your eye bags showed that fact of being unable to sleep, you couldn't admit it. But you missed your boyfriend.

But he wouldn't be home for another three weeks. It was to the point where you'd fall asleep on FaceTime calls with him. His voice was so soothing to you.

Cody wasn't going to tell you, but he was coming home early. He came back at 5:36am, he walked into the house. To see you and Pharoah snuggling on the couch both asleep.

He stayed silent and put everything away, it was still early. So he set his alarm on his phone for 10:00am. So he'd get a little sleep at least.

His main priority was making sure you actually slept. Cody laid his head down on his pillow and drifted off to sleep.

◆~◆~◆~◆~◆~◆~◆~◆~◆~◆~◆~◆~◆~◆~◆~◆~

He awoke to his alarm at 10:00am, you weren't awake yet still asleep on the couch. The TV faintly playing the infamous movie 'John Wick'. You seemed to have fallen asleep watching the movie. Since you had the remote nearby.

Cody walked over to the couch, and moved the remote away from you gently as not to wake you. Since you were so peaceful. It looked like you fell asleep right before he walked in.

He went back upstairs and fed Pharoah, then he came back downstairs and sat at the dining room table. and filled out a couple papers for the meet and greet that was in two weeks.

He headed back upstairs to go print out something, on his way back down. He heard you softly mumble and saw you shift in your spot.

you grumbled softly, before sitting up.

"Fuck... what time is it? I fell asleep at 4:10am.." You said, getting ready to get up.

you looked at the time and it read '10:05am'

"Ugh.. I'm still tired.. but I have to feed Pharoah." You sighed, standing up

"No you don't love, I already fed him." Cody said

"Cody.. I thought you weren't coming home for another three weeks?" You said surprised

"I got home early, Jimmy Uso got injured at the house show. So everyone got two weeks off. As a result of that happening." Cody sighed

"Oh.. Ok... what time did you come in..?" You asked

"5:36am.. I went to sleep before getting up at 10:00am" Cody explained

"Sorry I wasn't up before you came home.. I was just tired and fell asleep with Pharaoh since he wanted pets.." You said.

"It's fine, love. I understand your tired when your tired." Cody said

You and him spoke a little longer. And you hugged him as soon as he walked over to you.

you were so happy he was home..

Next thing you know, your pinned to the bed. Moaning and begging for release. As Cody fucked up into you harder.

"Please... Master..." You whimpered

"Just a little longer, m'kay princess?" Cody said

"M'kay..." You said

He fucked up into you harder and faster, making you physically see stars. But you missed the feeling so you'd let it go..

"Sh-Shit... please... master...." You couldn't hold it any longer, you wanted to burst into tears.

"Cum. Go on." His words sent you over the edge, with a moan of his name. You came.

"F...fuc...fuck..." You said wearily

Cody continued to fuck you through your orgasm, making you moan with each thrust.

You were a mess at that point. The cries and pleads turning into moans and begs

"S...Si...Sir..." You cried

"Yes Princess?" He asked

You tried to say something but your brain was so heated you couldn't say anything.

He fucked up into you once more, making you moan. And you came a second time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~❤️~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were on your 12th orgasm of the night...

Cody basically forced 9 of the 12.

But you didn't care, you were exhausted after everything ended. Cody pulled you up gently and ran a bath for you. Got everything that was messy cleaned.

You glanced at the clock and it read: '11:59pm'

Your body settled down in the tub immediately, you relaxed..

The overstimulation washing away. You did a couple deep breaths.

You got out of the bath, and Cody had your clothes already set aside for you. The usual.

His shirt, your shorts, his hoodie.

As soon as you got in the bed, you wanted to fall asleep. You rolled towards Cody and fell asleep while listening to his heartbeat..

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

book 7 part 4 thoughts!!

***THIS POST CONTAINS MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR BOOK 7, PART 4 OF THE MAIN STORY!!***

Usually I would put this in bullet points, but I have so many thoughts that I have to format it as paragraphs. (If you’d like to watch a rough part-by-part summarized translation, please check out this archived stream!)

Please note: this is NOT meant to be a summary or a translation; these are only my initial thoughts on the events that unfold. There may be details overlooked or misunderstood in this post, so PLEASE do not use this as a translation.

LILIA'S SO DIFFERENT 🤡 His voice is deeper, and he speaks more gruffly. He definitely comes off as more combative and having disdain for humans. HE'S POPPING OFF ABOUT HOW BAD SILVER/SEBEK/GRIM ARE AT MAGIC??? Damn, what happened in the following years to make him change????

The contrast between current Lilia telling Silver "there's nothing left for me to teach you" and past Lilia being like, "there's nothing for me to teach you, are you trying to make fun of me?"

The human faction they're fighting at the moment are the Silver Owls!! There are also people who dress in iron (a metal which harms fae in irl mythology), I'm not sure if they are synonymous with the Silver Owls or not.

IHBFIOASBFIAADSI LORD, THE FAE SOLDIERS ARE ALL MIDDLE SCHOOL NEKO GIRLS HISSING AT US

AYO, SEBEK GRANDPA REVEAL????? ??? ? ? ????? BAL/BAAL/BAUL REAL, I CAN SEE WHERE SEBEK GETS HIS LOOKS AND HIS PERSONALITY FROM

Silver's asking to team up with Lilia and his group (Lilia was about to just leave them there because he's concerned with the Silver Owls setting up camp at the base of the mountain)? Bruh, book 1 we're calming down an angry classmate and book 7 is like, HEY KIDS LET'S TAKE A FIELD TRIP INTO AN ACTIVE WAR ZONE.

Silver's hoping to shock him awake via a fight, here comes a Sebek and Silver tag team battle!! RIP Lilia beats them up a little :v (Sebek. Don't fanboy over his strength, WE ARE FIGHTING FOR OUR LIVES HERE)

Oop, they disorient him with light and Lilia's mask off!! It's treated like a big reveal????? Sorry, but how does Yuu not notice this is Lilia automatically 😅

Lilia voice) you are not my son (and here you can hear Silver's heart breaking/j)

Oh boy, we get to be prisoners of war/j

NOT LILIA ASKING SILVER AND SEBEK HOW THEY KNOW HOW TO FIGHT SO WELL WHEN IT WAS LILIA WHO TRAINED THEM TO BEGIN WITH

"Fae don't go back on their word" AH SO THEY LIKE TO KEEP PROMISES EH

"May the night bless you" seems to be some kind of salute for nocturnal fae?

LOL Lilia's against being called a father OTL THE IRONY HERE IS SO STRONG

Not Sebek's grandpa telling them off for not showing Lilia respect and saying how great he is... Fanboy genes run in the family/j

DOES YUU STILL THINK THIS IS A PERIOD DRAMA OR SOMETHING

BAAL IS CALLING SEBEK A HUMAN KEK

BAL/BAAL/BAUL REAL DROPS THE CROC MASK???? ?? ?? ?? ? He's got SCALES instead of facial hair???? ???? ? ? Oh man, he reminds me so much of Seteth FE3H OTL The scales are a signature trait of the Zigvolt line! Sebek says his mom has the same scales.

NO NOT SEBEK HAVING TO CONFESS THAT HIS DAD BEING HUMAN, IS THIS THE START OF HIS CHARACTER ARC

LILIA TOLD BAAL TO BABYSIT US...

AW Sebek's so excited about seeing his grandpa in his prime... I'm happy seeing Sebek happy OTL

Lilia's dreaming about the past... I wonder if it's because he was thinking about his life and what he has achieved before leaving his loved ones with his legacy...

Lilia first got the invite to NRC 500 years ago??? So NRC has been around much longer than we expected.

Ahhhh, crap 🤡 The return of book 6 limited battles but now with a battle map. There is a new mechanic where HP carries over from each battle; if a card's HP gets knocked to 0, you cannot use them. (5 cards be restored at random if you get to a heart space on the battle map.)

SEBEK'S ACTING AS OUR OLD FAE SPEECH TRANSLATOR (He's throwing his own angry commentary in, which is hilarious)

The humans arrived on a boat ~100 years ago. Now they have a settlement in the east and are mining around Briar Valley + taking the fae's natural resources. (I think this is why Mystium, that shape-shifting magic green ore that Lilia's weapon is made of, is no longer as plentiful; it was likely mined into obscurity.)

Magical creatures are now coming down from the mountain and causing trouble in Briar villages; the fairies cannot handle all of this. Damn, this is just the plot to the first Shrek movie 😂 They're invading Shrek's swamp--

Oh, interesting! So there are different kinds of fae language (depending on the type of fae they are; think of the diurnal fae from Fairy Gala speaking in bell tinkles), but they infuse their voices with magic so they can understand one another. In modern Briar Valley, there is a common tongue. Omg, Sebek speaks it with his mom and grandma! BILINGUAL KING, HE'S SO PROUD OF HIMSELF... Silver tried to learn from Lilia, but he struggled with it; Sebek's dad had the same issue so the problem must be that human ears cannot pick up on the same range of sounds as fae ears can. This is true of real life as well; different creatures have different auditory thresholds and auditory detection ranges.

Bruh, not Lilia sending out literal children to fight for him on the battlefield...

Eh, new character named??? Some human soldiers are talking about Henrich?? Henrik??? Henric??? He's a commander of the Silver Owls who is conceited and dumps his work onto his subordinates. Errrr he apparently also has a little sister named Leia? Lea??? Leah???? Who is rumored to be in a relationship with someone called the Dawn Knight.

More interesting lore????? Kind of???? Some pixies (small fae) come and warn Lilia about something up ahead, then heal them too. This is notable since in Fairy Gala: What If, we learn that diurnal fae (which I believe pixies are) and nocturnal fae (which Lilia and Sebek appear to be) do not like each other. It seems they got along well enough in the past to confront a common enemy?

They reach a Silver Owl camp!! ... Aaand Lilia tells his soldiers to boot them out so they can take over the camp. I mean, it IS technically the fae's land to begin with, so. Uhhhh, yeah I think I'm with Lilia on this one 💦

I don't think iron affects fae negatively in Twisted Wonderland?? Lilia and co. are having no trouble fighting them even when the humans are clad in iron armor.

HMMMM they've named dropped a formidable person on the human side called the Dawn Knight (Lilia mentions them once, then the human soldiers do). The Dawn Knight is the captain of the Silver Owls and even Lilia considers them a strong opponent. Methinks they'll become a key player later...

OH NOOOO 😭 Sebek’s like, “let’s change this fate!!” but since it’s just a dream, reality won’t be altered at all… Then Sebek suggests just. Staying in the dream???? Which makes darkness spawn… The light from Silver’s ring thing (the trinket he got from Lilia as a sign that he is now a full fledged adult) protects them???

Silver fears the dream will tempt him to stay too 😭 He asks Yuu to snap him “awake” if it ever comes to that… Silver, sweet boy… OTL

NOT SILVER AND SEBEK JUMPING IN TO STOP LILIA FROM COOKING FOR THEM (Come to think of it, how have Lilia's soldiers survive this far with him cooking for them???? ?? ??? ?? ?? )

LILIA THINKING THEY'RE GOING TO POISON THEM, THAT'S SO JAMIL ENERGY

Omg... They're acknowledging their Master Chef training (this is the only time they've referenced events in the main story, if I recall correctly)... Silver even prepares a risotto for them all~ (His own favorite food is mushroom risotto, so I like to think of it as he's sharing a piece of himself with the fae.)

asldiuhaodasidba Lilia complaining about the tiny portions in fine dining...

SEBEK PREPARING A ROAST CHICKEN FOR THEM, they're going all out for this one meal??? ? ? ??? ? ?? Poor Sebek though 😭Baal refuses to eat anything Sebek made, he'd rather starve or eat rations than a human's cooking...

AW BAAL BOUGHT SEBEK BOOKS????? And encouraged his love for reading... 😭

Grim taking Baal's portion of food... (Of course... Did we really have any doubts about that?) Sebek really did get his attitude from Baal... Now Baal's going, "Gimme my food back!" after Grim started digging into it... And then Baal has three entire helpings of risotto... THEY HAVE THE SAME INTIMIDATING-YET-ALSO-PATHETIC VIBES

AYO SILHOUETTE FOR MALLEUS'S MOM????? Her name is (Princess) Mallenoa, the only daughter of Maleficia (Malleus's grandma). She lives at a separate palace and commands the military. Lilia also describes her as being extremely powerful, fickle, stubborn, selfish, and easy to anger. He's just tossing out allllllll the adjectives ahdbayodqdq

Ah, so it sounds like humans greatly outnumber the fae??? So they're at a disadvantage. Normally a royal would handle diplomatic stuff like this but for some reason Lilia is being sent? They're traveling on foot to deliver a message to the human encampment to the east; the last messenger (that travelled there via magic?) did not return. Ominous...

Fae nobility are repulsed by the smell of iron? I'm confused, are fae in TWST impacted by iron or not????

Aww, Silver... He's asking his dad to come to school not to learn, but to make special memories there 🥺 Back to "our Night Raven College"...

NOOO NOW THEY'RE FLASHING THROUGH ALL THE DORMS... while Silver and Sebek monologue about how everyone at NRC is very different, but despite how weird they all are, there is a lot that can be learned from their differences. Silver's spreading what he learned from his dad... and the fact that even Sebek pitched in... 😭

Lilia voice) let's make these high school students our pack mules and unpaid chefs and if they fuck up we leave them for dead in these woods where there are monsters lurking about

Man, he's so ruthless????? Lilia will use anyone he can to succeed in his mission... But then the next second he lays into his princess with a smile www

Lilia knew the princess since they were kids ~300 years ago, which puts the current conflict at ~400 years ago from modern day (since present Lilia is ~700 years old).

asdjbasbldbasdi Gotta love the lowkey jabs at classic fairy tales... Lilia says that human princesses may need protecting but not theirs???? (Yet Mallenoa still stays in her castle all day like she's waiting for a prince.)

THE PRINCESS HAS AN EGG... MALLEUS????? IS THAT YOU???? ???? ????? ? ?? ? ? (LOL at Sebek calling it Tamago-sama asghdyqovywqdwp9qbpacpasb) JAHAJAAH BAAL SUS OF THEM BEING INTERESTED IN THE EGG????

Oooh, so dragon eggs only hatch after receiving enough love and magic from the parents??? (Otherwise the egg will not mature and hatch.) The "power of love" is real, you guys 🥺

ANOTHER new character name drop?????? Levan/Revan??? It's a fae that went missing (probably the messenger from earlier??) I-Is that. Is that Malleus's dad???????? (Lilia says that both the princess and Levan/Revan have been pushing their tasks onto him; he has known them both for a long ass time.)

Baal voice) I still don't trust you

Fandom, back at Baal: Sorry (grand)daddy. Sorry. (Grand)daddy? Sorry. (Grand)daddy? Sorry.

Malleus is 178 years old in current day even though his egg existed 400 years ago, so it seems there was a few hundred years of delay before he actually hatched (normally the egg would hatch in 2-3 years). That means Lilia was ~522 when Malleus hatched and ~683 when he found Silver as a newborn (Malleus was ~161). Silver and Sebek think it’s weird that the timeline does not add up; it means Malleus was dormant for quite a while?? Or is the dream world wonky to accommodate for a “happy ending”? Or maybe the history they know is not correct (since earlier in book 7 Lilia mentions how true history can be distorted over time.)

Very sus, apparently there is not a lot known about Briar Valley's history??? Lilia never talked about the past around Silver, and Baal did the same with Sebek. None of the books Sebek read really goes into that history either. In current day, the palace where Malleus's mom resided isn't even there anymore, it's just land. It suddenly became a mystery...

MAN, I've been wondering this whole time why Lilia's happy ending is wartime but maybe. This is the period where Malleus's parents both died???? Maybe his happy ending is saving them??? Instead of them dying and him having to live with the guilt of not being there to protect his friends and his future prince's parents???? (I previously thought it was during war that Malleus hatched and/or Lilia found Silver, but I guess the timeline doesn't make sense there.)

According to Silver, they cannot stray too far from dreamers or else the darkness will return and try to drag them into a deeper sleep.

asdhbasdobasdbas Sebek is SUPER hype to see baby Tamago-sama Malleus...

Sebek points out that Silver is not nodding off (good catch, I actually did not notice this because I was too busy screaming about the lore); sooo when Silver is dream walking, he's consistently alert. It looks like Silver's narcolepsy is an important detail??? (Lilia took him to lots of doctors that didn't know how to help him, Silver does whatever he can to sleep well and to have a sleep schedule.)

OH MY GOD, I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT YUU AND GRIM STILL DIDN'T KNOW LILIA IS SILVER'S DAD. They thought it was a friendly nickname this entire time??? Kind of late to get to that, but alright 😅 We have acquired the Forbidden Knowledge... (SEBEK'S MOM IS WAY OLDER THAN HIS DAD BUT LOOKS WAY YOUNGER?? I mean, I kind of expected that but to have it confirmed just hits different.)

One of the soldiers tells the kids to stfu so they can sleep and so Sebek yells at everyone to stop disturbing them (you know, in his LOUD AS HECK voice).

Water in the Briar Country is cold because it is located up north (it snows a lot!). The lake water usually comes from melted snow. Checks out, I guess?

They're packing up to leave the camp... Reminds me of Mulan!

[Insert boring trek to the Silver Owls' base. Interesting tidbit: some soldiers we run into comment that Silver resembles the Dawn Knight/they didn't know the Dawn Knight had a lover?????? So... that's obviously gotta be an ancestor of Silver's, right??? Also??? The Dawn Knight apparently never removes their helmet, even around subordinates... VERY SUS, SIR

NAYUUURx NOT SeBEK CAViNG TO THE DATKNESS 😭 I feel like??? This is a really big character development moment for him?? He’s always been pretty blindly loyal to Malleus and hateful of humans, but this marks the first time he willingly does something against Malleus’s will and he calls Yuu and Grim by name… Sebek, sweetie… 😭 (Side note: Silver’s been so strong-willed through all of this, but I’m glad that TWST showed he isn’t perfect and infallible; he, too, was tempted to stay in the dream when Sebek started to consider it too.)

bchsheoxndle Something else I enjoy is Baul being so… tsun?? He complains about the kids but keeps an eye out for them anyway (and Sebek in particular)… The paternal vibes are too immaculate to completely squash 😎]

They made it!! Finally!!

UHHHHH THEY'RE FIGHTING A BIG MACHINE AND. LILIA INSTINCTIVELY BLOCKS SILVER?? (He’ll be fine, he’s in his prime 😌)

Oop, Heinrich and the Dawn Knight were supposed to be in the eastern base but they aren't??? Oh no, it looks like. It was a diversion?????? While Lilia and co. are busy at the base, Heinrich launched an attack on the palace where Malleus's mom is???????

AND OF CORUSE THAT'S WHERE WE CUT OFF?????????? BRUH.

OKAY, so this entire update was focused just on Lilia's dream. We have no clue what's happening in Idia's dream or the real world with Ortho??? Which I'm totally fine with; I feel like we learned SO much about Briar Valley's history and important figures in it. That's a very fair trade-off. I loved getting to learn about the conflict between humans and fae, fae culture, and about how Briar Valley (or Country) works. I'm surprised that the characters themselves know so little about the history, but that just makes me worried that that's because it's a dark part of history that was purposefully censored from the textbooks...

There were a lot of new characters introduced in this part, most of them just mentioned by name or silhouette. It really feels like we walked right into the most dire part of a history textbook... So much tragedy has been set up, so many key players put into place... But being that this is Lilia's promised happy ending, surely he must reverse fate and save the day in the end????? Right? Right??? ?????? ?? ??? ? ? ? ? ? ?????? I have my eyes glued to the Draconia family lore and history, I'm READY to absorb it!

Something else I found really fascinating was learning more about Sebek this update! He still has a very arrogant attitude about him (that much hasn't changed), but I loved seeing how he acts different around his grandfather and how excited he gets over little things like seeing Malleus's egg. I think this part also marks the start to his character arc; he is constantly put down time and time again by his grandpa, someone whom he really loves. Sebek is used to his grandpa accepting him for who he is, but now his grandpa is shouting hateful rhetoric and discriminating against him for being half human. It's the same ugly behavior that Sebek slings to other people, but now the shoe's on the other foot and HE'S the victim in these situations. It must no doubt be extremely uncomfortable for Sebek, but it's also forcing him into a situation where he has to look at his own bigotry head-on, and it gives him a chance to reevaluate himself. It's similar to how Vil had to challenge Epel's outdated gender views even when Epel kicked up a fuss every time Vil did. asdhbsaisdbabdil I'm just really invested in Sebek's character arc!!

I think there's a high probability we'll see all of the silhouetted figures in full in a future update, it's clear that we'll eventually be rushing back to check on Malleus's mom at some point. I'm super interested in seeing how Malleus's parents, the Dawn Knight, Lilia, Baal, and Henrik tie together. (And, of course, we NEED to check in with the Shrouds as well.)

I have heard people say that Henrik may be a reference to King Henry from the live action Maleficent? Then that means that the Dawn Knight may be TWST's equivalent to Stefan/Stephan (Aurora's dad) and Henrik/Henric's little sister is Leah/Leia (Aurora's mom)??? Then I've heard other theories that since Malleus's dad vanished, we have no corpse to confirm he is for real dead and maybe he's actually Crowley who went off to buy some milk and never came back???? (Because “Levan” sounds like “raven” and you know who else is a black bird? CROWLEY. Is he. Is he really going to be the Ultimate Absentee Dad by pulling off his mask in front of Malleus and go, “Luke, I am your father” at him????) And then there's those of us who are drooling over new character designs and screaming about how hot Sebek's grandpappy is. Point is, there are so many wild parallels, theories, ideas, and thirst posts flying around right now. I love how this wild update reinvigorated the whole fandom into a new period of theory crafting and other creative works. asdhabsdasdbasdi Every new book 7 update gets more and more hype... I just hope we get part 5 in July!!! Super intrigued by the history of the Briar Valley~

[aziraphales-library]

Lost Fic #200

1. Hi! Idk if you can help me but I trying to find this one specific fic. I think the plot was gabirel and sandalphon try to ruin aziraphale and crowley’s reputation by yelling that they’re gay in public but literally no one cares and they get chewed out for it by an elderly couple. I’m pretty sure that it’s either a one shot or like two/three chapters and that it’s pre season 2. Idk if this helps. Thanks! - anon

2. Lost a fic that I can't remember much about but it had multiple chapters, Aziraphale and Crowley through the years, and some female presenting. I remember there was a scene where they were on a boat and it flipped, due to Crowley leaning in for a kiss. There's also mentions of Aziraphale's diary and feelings for Crowley. Another scene was a picnic and almost kiss. Eventually they talked it out and realized they loved each other and Aziraphale asked Crowley if she intended for them to almost kiss on the boat. I think it's on Ao3? No idea. - @spaceypotato19

3. Hii, first of all thanks so much for all the work you do here!! I am looking for a fic and I can't find it in my bookmarks or using the tags of this blog. It was a cinderella au but with a a/b/o twist. Azi was the omega and to go to the dance anathema uses a potion or smth to make it look like hes an alpha and A and C meet and they fall in love and marry but eventualy C descovers the truth and there was a kidnapping or smth. I also remember C calling omegas in general very clingy and A taking offense and such. It was a long fic, probably 80k+ I belive Thanksss! - @just-here-doing-something

4. Hi! I'm hoping you can help me find a fic. It's a sequel (although i can't find part 1 either) where Crowley accidentally switches to female genitals. He freaks out because he didn't think Aziraphale will want him anymore, so he freezes time and runs away. The other moment I remember is that it turns out Crowley has not been killing plants. Rather he puts them on his balcony for "retirement." It has a happy ending. I how you can help, because it's driving me crazy! Thanks!! - anon

5. Hello :3 I am aware that you are all very busy but I thought I'd shoot my shot. A friend and I were talking about a specific plotline of a fic that we both remember, it being Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship with their own mothers being a representation of their relationship with God in the original work. We remember that Crowley was jealous of Aziraphale's unconditional and undying love for his mother even though he never knew her cause she died when he was really young and was raised by his grandfather, hence why he's so old fashioned, because his own mother was really crappy and threw him out of the house when he was young. This talk made me want to read it again, but neither of us can remember the title or the main plot apart from this one thing. If anyone has any idea what he could be, please let me know!! (And thank you in advance to anyone who can help) I feel like I should also mention, at some point Crowley goes into Aziraphale's room and sees pictures of him as a baby with his mother looking very happy on his bedside table and that's when he starts feeling jealous. There's also a bunch of other childhood pictures of Aziraphale on there but the most important one is the one with his mother. (also, it was a human au, if that helps) If you could help me find it, I would be ever so grateful. Thank you so much! - @sunlecitron

If you know any of these fics please include the number in your reply! Thank you :)

- Mod D

[bumblee27]

HI I AM ALREADY LOSING MY MIND OVER THE SIGN OF FOUR AND IT'S ONLY PART 1. I'VE. I'VE MADE AN A3 MINDMAP WOULD YOU CARE TO HEAR MY RAMBLINGS

Will contain spoilers!

Tagging @blujellyfish21 because I'm blaming you for my mindmap, you've rubbed off on me, and @justabit-silly because uh I just want to share my stupid observations and far fetched theories with you 👉👈

RIGHT OKAY HERE WE GO

Right, first off, a 40 minute episode hello??? Is every part going to be this long?? That'll make the whole case just under 7 HOURS.

The music box at the start is undoubtedly the one John and Sherlock have found.

I HEAR YOU, SHALLOWED BREATHING BETWEEN THE CHILDHOOD RECORDING AND THE VOICE NOTES

So the diamond had been 'stolen' from the Morstans even when Mary was a child.

(Small note that those clips before the theme tune messed me up. I was so scared, but so excited, I was shaking. Because, okay, I read the warning 'minor in distress', and then little Mary popped up, all big-eyed and giggly and I went SHIT NO LEAVE HER ALONE)

The magpie thing is 100% an analogy for the thieves. Oh, sorry, there weren't any thieves? Oh, they're not in it yet.

Note John's "4 for a boy" around the magpie superstition, and note his tone of voice. That is guaranteed going to be relevant. Perhaps it means Tonga (I'm very sorry, I can't remember his name and if I did I couldn't spell it).

John's having more leads! Massive ones too! Yippee!! But Sherlock's not happy. Is he jealous? Or...

OKAY LISTEN TO ME PLEASE. The dynamic between the main 3 has been thriving recently, they've taken their time to develop into a wonderful healthy relationship. Sherlock's sudden spite today was a surprise to me. His insult towards John and Mariana was uncalled for and deliberate. Why? Having a bad day? Or maybe he's doing it on purpose. Distancing himself. Maybe he knows something. Maybe he thinks losing him will hurt less if their memories of him are bitter. Must keep an eye on him.

How interesting that in the book, Mary goes directly to Sherlock for help, but in the podcast, she doesn't even know she's connected yet.

I was wondering when and where the birdsong after the voice notes and before the theme music was set. Yes, it could be irrelevant, but the creators would have had to put thought into it, wouldn't they? Then I went oh my god what if the birds are magpies? I'm not familiar with bird calls, but that would be an AMAZING detail.

I'll end this by pointing out how obviously upset John was in the intro. The whole show is literally about murder, but he always manages to find something to laugh about. So if he actually shows that he's upset, how bad must things be?

[lastoneout]

New Pinned/Intro Post!

Hi, I'm Loo(or Alex), I'm a disabled queer artist and writer as well as a furry vtuber who streams four days a week on twitch(mostly Minecraft but also Soulsborne games and a variety of other stuff).

You may know me from The Tuna Post, in which several thousand of you came together to "force" me to buy damn near 30 American Dollars worth of imported fancy canned tuna to eat and review live on stream. If you're here for it, said live review can be found on twitch and on my youtube channel. TL;DR: 10/10 would recommend.

I currently can't work, so if you like what I've got going on here and want to help me out, I take donations over on my ko-fi <3 Aside from that, follows on twitch help a lot, even if you never end up watching!

(Also, I sell my twitch emotes as stickers on redbubble!)

I don't have a proper BYF, but as a heads up I'm heavily introverted and have ADHD, and between those and my disabilities eating up my energy I often take a while to respond to messages/tags/reblogs/DMs and sometimes forget entirely. This isn't anything against you, and it's something I'm working on, but just something to keep in mind if you plan on interacting with me a lot.

FAQ:

Do you take commissions?

Not at the moment, but hopefully in the future!

What do you use for art?

Wacom Intuos tablet + Clip Studio Paint on the PC, though these days I mostly use CSP on a Samsung Galaxy Tab s6 since I can use it in bed on my low spoons days.

What do you want to go to school for?

Digital Art and American Sign Language!

You talk about being sick all the time/having health problems, what's wrong with you?

Too many things to list <3 but the most notable ones are chronic migraines, hEDS, and ADHD.

Queer?

I'm ace, bisexual, bigender, and butch. I'm also polyam but currently in a very happy monogamous relationship and don't have plans to change that. My pronouns are she/they, and while I would prefer to not have people use he/him with me you are highly encouraged to use masculine forms of address(sir, guy, dude, king, man, my guy, grandpa, dad, etc.) whenever appropriate. My assigned sex/gender at birth is none of your business.

Who's Yotsuba?

Yotsuba is an adorable little gremlin and the main character of my favorite manga, Yotsuba &!, and you should go read it right now seriously it's amazing go read it go read it GO READ IT-

What's "ask to tag"?

The tumblr equivalent of "author chose not to use archive warnings", I put it on anything that seems like it could use a trigger warning but where no one has specifically asked me to tag for that trigger yet. Things I currently (try to) tag for: flashing lights/eyestrain, insects, suicide, fatphobia/diet culture/disordered eating, my hero academia, gore/body horror, current events, us politics, politics, covid, cats, and anything nsfw goes under nsft.

I can't promise to be 100% consistent with these tho, between the ADHD and the migraines I am very forgetful, so slip ups are bound to happen.

Loo? Like the bathroom??

LOO is short for LastOneOut, I'm american and forgot people call it that, you can write it as Lou or just call me Alex if it makes you feel better.

LookingForLoo?? Like looking for the bathroom??

On websites where LastOneOut is taken I'm LookingForLoo because I'm literally looking for LOO, LastOneOut. I thought it was clever T_T

Sideblogs?

I have a nsfw alt @looafterdark (18+ only I swear to god I keep a loaded gun pointed at the follow list) and a writing inspo blog @last-scrapbook. I also once ran a couple of character ask blogs, though I don't plan on starting them up again, and I was the mod behind @pokeprofshowdown.

Who's Eugene/Ophelia/Sasha?

My ocs from an original story I'm working on. I get brainrot and post about them a lot. You are ALWAYS allowed to ask me about them!

What's your fursona/can I make art of you?

I'm a dog, kinda like a papillion but not really, and yes you may. My ref sheet is here.

Can I repost your funny text posts to twitter/insta/reddit?

Sure, all I ask is that you include the entire post and leave my username visible. You can also tag me if you want, I'm lookingforloo on twitter, insta, and reddit <3

Can I repost your art/writing?

Absolutely not.

Can I plug your art or writing into an AI program?

Absolutely not under any fucking circumstances.

Can I use your art in an amv/fandom board/as a cover for my playlist or fic/ect.?

Depends, DM me first.

Can I write fic/make fanart based on your fics/art/HCs/AUs?

Absolutely <3

Can I write fic/make fanart based on your OCs?

Art yes, fics no.

What's your stance on the discourse?

There is no amount of posting online about contentious topics that could ever match the sheer power of simply going out into your community and finding a project that helps other people that you can dedicate your time and energy to. Also wear a mask, vote(if you can), and listen to marginalized people when they speak about their experiences.

How old are you?

29

[celeluwhenfics]

Fanfic writer interview

Thank you @sotwk for the tag! I'm somewhat of a beginning author, so let's see if I have anything to say...

How many works do you have on AO3? 6

What's your total AO3 word count? 17,293

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

pHORSEuasion (Éomer / OC)

Perfect (Théodred / Boromir)

The Creek Game (gen)

Spoons (Éomer & Théoden)

Morwen Steelsheen and her daughters (gen)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yes!!! There might be a delay if I'm busy, but I make a point of responding to every single comment, even if it's just to say thank you! I love comments!!!

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? That would be Caeeli aux mains bleues, an Arthurian fic I wrote at 16. It's kind of cringe... and yes very angsty. I keep it around because there's no use being ashamed of where you started (although.....) and anyway most of my followers don't read French so they can't witness that weird teenage trainwreck for themselves 🙃 I also have plans (and lots of drafts) to re-write it entirely into something much, much more interesting, but it will have to wait after pHORSE is done.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? Perfect! Although it's merely a double drabble. But pHORSEuasion will have a sweet, happy ending and will sicken everyone around with sugary fluff!

Do you write crossovers? Does pHORSEuasion count as a crossover? I know that technically it's an AU (Jane Austen's Persuasion set in LotR universe), but it kind of has the spirit of crossover? Unless I misunderstand the concept.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Never.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? No... But never say never! 👀

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated? No, but I could translate them into French myself. Or turn the Arthurian fic into English. We'll see.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No! Alone in my head, so far.

What's your all-time favorite ship? Hmmm I really like Borodred, but at the moment I'm entirely taken by my Éomer/Rowena(OC) ship!

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? I WILL FINISH pHORSE I WILL FINISH pHORSE I WILL FINISH pHORSE I WILL FINISH pHORSE even if it takes me a decade.

What are your writing strengths? Erm, I think that one of my strengths is that I can draw from a wide variety of real-life experiences to make different settings and topics feel real and describe them with realism and depth?

What are your writing weaknesses? I'm sloooooooow. Wow I'm slow. Perfectionism, busy life, second language, complex plots, put all that together, and you get the pace of an arthritic snail on sleeping pills.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? Old English is just too pretty! But I try to stay readable. (As if I had to restrain myself from fluently writing in Old English hahaha)

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to? I'm happy with LotR, Austen and Arthurian legend! Maybe one day I will extend to Silmarillion!

What's your favorite fic you've written? Finished: Spoons. Quite proud of how I treated a difficult, rarely addressed subject there! But overall: pHORSE is my baby!

Tagging @konartiste @dreambigdreamz @from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras @emmanuellececchi @torchwood-99 and who else wants to play?

[rosietrace]

[ The Inheritance Games ] | “I wouldn't marry me, either.”

Prologue

The Inheritance Games series belongs to Jennifer Lynn Barnes.

SYNOPSIS — What if things had been different, when Avery inherited the old man's fortune? What if Alisa did some puzzle solving of her own, and what if Nash started to feel something for Alisa he thought he'd never feel in a long time?

MAIN TAGS — Canon divergence, Exes to lovers, slowburn, angst with happy ending, suggestive-ish, oc insert, WHAT-IF, mention of character death (Emily Laughlin mention)

| [ The Following is a fanfiction that drifts away from the canon source material. If you aren't particularly interested in anything relating to Alisa Ortega, Nash Hawthorne, or anything about The Inheritance Games in general, this fic probably isn't for you. ] |

Never lose your heart to a Hawthorne. Something Alisa repeated to herself like a mantra over the course of several years, leading to the present day.

The way Hawthornes loved was all-consuming, all-encompassing. Destructive in ways it shouldn't be for both parties involved.

Alisa could remember a time when things were simpler. When she was a little girl spending her days in Hawthorne House while her father was at work, playing with Tobias Hawthorne’s four grandsons— his eldest, in particular.

But those days were long gone, Alisa had reminded herself, now seated with her head hung low, dressed in all black; Tobias Hawthorne — over-ambitious, machiavellian philanthropist that he was — had finally been put to rest at the age of 78.

For most of the ceremony, it was eerily quiet. And while Alisa thought herself as strong as steel, she couldn't shake the feeling of unease throughout her body at the deathly silence of the funeral— even if such silence was understandable.

She, her father, and the rest of what was left of Tobias Hawthorne's family sat during the ceremony of his funeral, where he'd be buried beside his late wife, Alice O’Day Hawthorne.

He was a complicated man, Alisa thought. Too many gears in his head… so many ideas. Perhaps too many.

“Alisa,” she'd heard her father call out to her, garnering her attention in record time. With their heads hung low, the father and daughter duo met each other's gazes.

Her father — Mr. Ortega, most people called him — was a lawyer, a man she admired a great deal to the point where she'd slaved away studying to join him at his law firm: McNamara, Ortega, and Jones.

The very law firm that paid for the funeral services of their main, and only client.

“Yes?” Alisa's voice was barely a whisper. Her eyes beckoned at her father, wondering what he had to say to her.

His gaze was paternal, fatherly in ways Alisa's seen through the majority of her childhood even when he was busy with work to properly care for her.

“Are you alright?” Her father asked gently, “I know that you must be thinking of the changes that'll be made. What'll become of the law firm, the Hawthorne family…”

Alisa exhaled, holding her father's gaze a moment longer with her hand over his. “I'm fine, Papa. I'm fine.”

But her father was right; She had been thinking of the changes to come of what she considered normal up until today. Of the law firm, of who would be inheriting the Hawthorne foundation, what'll become of the Hawthorne family now that their patriarch had now passed— and that wasn't even bringing the forty-six point two billion dollars of the old man’s net worth.

It wasn't as silent as it was at the start of the funeral. Alisa took a good look at her surroundings, at the people around her.

Her father's colleagues, McNamara and Jones respectively, did what most of everyone was doing: Keeping their heads low to pay their respects to the old man.

Skye Hawthorne was the only one making any actual sound, sobbing to an almost comically loud extent. No one tried to get her to quiet down, and no one did.

Zara Hawthorne-Calligaris and her husband, Constantine Calligaris, sat beside Skye. Where Skye was flowy fabrics and oversharing, Zara was pencil-skirts and pearls.

Zara’s expression was borderline unreadable, but even Alisa could notice the small glance the woman had stolen at John Oren, the old man's personal bodyguard and head of his security team.

The Hawthorne grandsons were… a different story.

They've known the old man the longest, Alisa’d pointed out the obvious in the confines of her mind.

Grayson had his elbows on his knees, his hands obscuring most of his face; Jameson had a small frown, looking up at the ceiling; Strangely, it was Xander that had the more unreadable expression of the three.

Three. Alisa frowned. Not four.

She turned to her father. “Papa.”

“May I be excused?”

“Hm?.. whatever for?” Asked her father, a slightly raised eyebrow creasing his features.

Alisa pursed her lips, squeezing her father's hand assuringly. “It'll only be for a moment.”

Once her father conceded, Alisa had politely excused herself from the solemnity of the funeral ceremony.

⊱───────────────⊰

Where is he? The purse of Alisa's lips tightened. There were four Hawthorne grandsons, and yet one of them had already decided upon himself to leave early.

It didn't take Alisa a long time to spot the beat-up motorcycle amongst the sea of cars parked near the property; and for a second, she remembered a small memory where she pestered its owner about getting it dismantled for parts.

It was no use, Alisa shook her head dismissively, making her way to the eldest Hawthorne grandson right as he mounted that piece of junk.

“Nash.”

Nash Hawthorne stole a glance at her and raised a brow. “Lee-Lee?”

“What’re you doin’?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“I'm leavin’.”

“In the middle of the funeral? Right before the burial?” Alisa knew the rocky relationship between Nash and his grandfather, but even she was appalled by this behavior.

“‘Hate to break it to ya, Lee-Lee, but Skye's waterworks ain't exactly pleasant to listen to.” Nash remarked, switching off the engine of his motorcycle and sitting to the side to face Alisa directly.

“I don't think that's a good enough excuse to leave in the middle of your grandfather's funeral.”

Alisa crossed her arms. Nash looked at her with those piercing eyes, looking at her up and down.

Lifting a hand, Nash grazed Alisa's cheek ever so slightly, tucking her hair behind her ear. And Alisa wished it didn't have the kind of effect on her the way it did.

“You know exactly why I'm leavin’ early, Lee-Lee.”

Because of your grief, because of your family, because of the old man. Alisa paused, her body tensing up at her last thought.

Because of me.

When she said nothing, Nash hummed, adjusting the worn-out cowboy hat he wore like a crown on his head.

He turned on the engine, revving up his motorcycle— all the while he maintained eye contact with Alisa Ortega; A girl who, if circumstances were different, would've been his wife.

“You take care, Lee-Lee.”

And there he went, driving out of the property without so much as a second thought. Away from all things Hawthorne. Away from Alisa.

Alisa looked down at the ground with clenched fists, a tightness in her throat as she whispered that self-made mantra over and over again.

“Never lose your heart to a Hawthorne.”

TAGLIST

None so far . . .

[slashingdisneypasta]

If you want I'd love a part two for the sheriff!bickerman story with smut possibly!

IT WAS SO GOOD LOVE YOUR JIM CONTENT IT GIVES ME LIFE

YOU LOVE MY JIM STUFF?? I love y o u! ^^ *hugs*

I don't usually take requests, but um... I'm very biased with Jim XD Especially Sheriff Jim; that was so much fun to write XD I hope you like it and come back to talk about him with me! ^^

~

Sheriff!Jim Bickerman x AFAB!Reader || Drabble

Plot: Jim's away on a work trip to a neighbouring county station, sent by (Chief of Police) Reba, because he's driving her up a wall, and you miss him. Its been almost a month now, and you're about ready to promise him anything if he'll just come back.

And- the good thing about Jim? He'll totally blow of work for the right price.

Warnings: (Large) Age difference relationship (25/60's), sexual references, TWO (1) 'daddy' mentions (Dont blame me, he starts it himself. I don't control him. Says the fic writer), and a uhhhhhHHHH little fingering at the end... vaguely edited.

*reader takes a university class and that's where they know Owen from.

Tagging: @marinerainbow , @masqueradeball , @obscureother and @slxsherwriter .

After the thing at the party Owen couldn't let it go and pretty much immediately went bawling to Reba, the chief of police. He made it sound like Jim almost killed him (Which... okay yeah, was true.), for no good reason of course (Not at All), because he's a crazy senile old poacher and shouldn't be on the force, blah blah blah. Reba thankfully didn't fire Jim, but she had to do something; So she sent him away to do some light research in another county. Some woman's adult daughter was still 'missing' (You think her name was Daphne) and she figured it might kill two birds with one stone sending him away to confer with the officers over there. Make the mama happy, stop Owen bothering her about this, and get Jim out of her hair.

Reba was jazzed with the outcome and Owen was appeased and very annoyingly smug in classes, but Jim sure as hell wasn't. And neither were you, spending your nights alone now house-sitting for your booted cowboy.

And its been a month, now.

A month since you saw him. And you miss him. You talk on the phone (because, thank god, being sheriff forced him to keep one finally), and that's nice, but it's not the same. At this point, you're struggling to focus in class. As soon as you look to the front where your teacher stands droning on, your mind starts to wander.

You're about to take out your phone and text him (he doesn't text but he always takes the next oppertunity to leave you a voice message), when Owen comes into class late and drops into the seat beside yours. Immediately your eyes roll upwards out of annoyance, and you put away your phone so he doesn't see. It's not like Jim's contact is his name, you aren't that dumb-- but you'd rather Owen didn't know you were seeing anyone anyway. He'll just bother you about it.

The bastard.

"Hey," He whispers, leaning over the arm of his chair and too-close to you despite you clearly shifting away from him and his hit breath. "What did I miss??"

Rolling your eyes where he can't see, you give a sigh. At the time, you really didn't think he would drug you or hurt you. He's just annoying- not an idiot. But after the fact, you keep wondering.

You can't help but think about how determined he was. That was wierd. And you didn't even ask for that drink-- he just went ahead and made it for you. In fact he had it for you before you even saw him or approached him. He had been waiting.

... whether your suspicions were founded or not though, you were still irritated by him these days. If only for sending Jim away and being obnoxious about it.

"Listen now so you don't miss anything else, hm?" You whisper back, a heavy dash of finality in your voice. Forcing him with your tone to back up. Stop breathing on you.

Luckily it works, and you spend the next 10 minutes uncomfortable he's even next to you. The main thing on your mind, though, is Jim.

Look, you're not usually the kind of person to lose sense, or get all wrung out, over a man- in fact, some space can be good. You can't deal with someone every second of the day. You cant deal with Jim every second of the day, he's crazy. But goddamnit! It's been a month since you so much as saw him!!

You miss him.

Another few minutes of lessons in the background of your mind and wondering about the length and craziness of Jim's beard after a month at the forefront of your mind. Your thoughts are wandering further and further away from class again, until you finally give up and grab your phone.

"Hey." Owen pipes up again, whispering so harshly at you so you jump out of surprise.

"What??"

"Where are you going?? Can I come?"

"Going to the bathroom. No."

"How do I know you're not just leaving me here??" He smirks, and you feel your stomach roll over inside you.

With a glare, you just roll your eyes and try to leave again. You are not doing banter with this guy-

"Wait, hey. I wanted to ask you. You noticed old 'Sheriff' Bickerman's still a no-show lately??" You stop moving, plopping back down in your seat. Slowly you turn your head to look at Owen, deadpanned. He cannot be serious. "Yeah? Heh. Wanted to ask you since you volunteer at the station sometimes, an' if you still haven't seen him, then he's gotta still be off on probation. Damn straight, right?"

You think your eyes are going to roll all the way into the back of your skull. Somehow though, your whisper remains calm; no hint of ferocity in the undertones. "Reba didn't send him on probation, Owen. He's doing work."

"Tom-ay-to, tom-ah-to."

You sigh. Roll your eyes and resist the urge to curse at him. Tuck your phone into your jeans pocket. And leave the auditorium bathroom-bound.

"Obnoxious, smug, twisted little weasel." You mutter, shaking your head and pulling out your phone as you turn into the bathroom.

You: How's it going? Miss you, you old fart. Cant focus.

"Hm." You hum, pressing send and leaning back on the stall wall; not expecting a responce immediately but needing a break from Owen, anyhow. So you might as well actually go to the bathroom. You're about to do just that, when to your surprise your phone lights up with a call and the sound of your ringtone fills the small bathroom. Loudly. While you answer and put the device to your ear, you simultaneously close the main door and lock it. "Hey! Stranger."

"Thinkin about this old bastard, huh sweetcheeks?"

Sweetcheeks of all pet names- is not your favourite. Usually when he calls you that you feel like cringing but right now you can just grin at the sound of his voice. Shit. "Mhmm... you look any different?" You're sure he can hear it in your voice, but that's okay because you can hear the smirk in his.

"Yeah actually, honey. Well, I got purple hair now. And also, a tattoo. Big ass singin bass on my back. "

"Oh, hot." You grin, chuckle, and shake your head. "Can't wait to see."

"You just wait, sugar."

"That's three petnames in under 2 minutes, Mr Bickerman. You miss me or something??"

"Something like that, yeah," In your head you see the smirk turn into a genuine grin when his voice gets soft and FUCK- you want him home. You want him home now.

Sighing, you bump your shoulder into the door and lean there, dropping your temple against the surface too. A frown wriggles across your face. When Jim speaks again, a grimace and a cold edge have creeped into his voice. "So. What's that little weasel been up to?... dancing in circles that I'm still gone?"

The exact same tone takes residence in your voice, too. "Yeah, pretty much. He's next to me in class today, hence why I'm hiding in the bathroom now."

"You're hiding in the bathroom??"

"He sat too close to me, I could feel his gross hot breath on the side of my face when he talked to me- and he was asking about you, too. I needed a break."

At this, Jim just groans and you feel like you can see the eyeroll from miles and miles away.

After a few moments, you lighten the tone in your voice a tiny bit. And ask about work. "... any news on the daughter?" Have you found her? Can you come back soon?

"Nope. Pretty sure she was never even here," Of course not. "but now Reba's got me helpin' 'em out with their damn store room. ... Have a feeling she's tryin' t' keep me away. Cant think why." The tone of sarcasm seeps out of the phone like gasoline, primed for a match.

You huff. Shake your head. "... fuck her." Enough!

Immediately a surprised laugh, full of disbelief rings out through the receiver. " -what was that now??"

"Come home, Jim. I don't care anymore." Really, you really don't. "Do you?? You know what- if you come home to me today, you can tell whoever you want about me." You say, and really mean it. You're tired of sneaking around. Its not fun anymore. You're - so - over it. Lowering your voice, you close your eyes. "... I don't care. Just come home."

A mechanical rumble plays on the other end of the phone, causing you to knit your eyebrows together. Confused. "-Hear that?"

"Hm? What is it???"

"Thats the truck. I'm on my way. All you had to do was ask, sweetheart, but I do appreciate the permission to tell everyone I know I'm havin' a side of fresh meat every night~ "

"Oh, god." Thats terrible!! Not all the distance and the missing him in the world will stop you from cringing over that- But then you smile, straightening up; every cell in your body buzzing at the prospect of seeing him in a few hours, anyway. "But hurry up." -Wait, he'll take that too seriously- "Drive safe!, though."

"Err, aint I always safe??"

"Oh yeah, Jim O-H-and-S Bickerman; thats you." He chuckles at that. "See you soon." With a final, insurmountable smile, you shake your head and hang up.

~

When you get back to the auditorium, the professor's gone quiet- letting everyone finish some private study for a bit. You grab your bag, foreseeing absolutely zero chance of getting any work done for the rest of the day, and turn to leave and wait at Jim's place- when a clammy hand grips your wrist and pulls you back. And suddenly, ice fills up your veins. "Hey! Where are you going now, huh??"

The smile wipes clean off your face. "Owen, let go."

"Not until you tell me where you're going, sweetheart." The smirk on his face ignites a fire in you, and not the good kind. A scowl and some dark clouds wander across your face. Sweetheart???!

"Owen, let me go." With that, you twist your wrist and disentangle your limb from his grip. Then get an idea, pulling your book bag over your head, lowering your voice. "For your information- Jim's coming home today and I'm going to meet him. I think you know who that is, I don't need to spell it out for you." Carefully, you slip your hair out from under the strap of your bag. "So congratulations, you were right- but lets get one thing straight here." Your voice turns to venom, a terrible glare in your eyes when you glance at Owen; looking pale. "We weren't fucking. But then you sent him away for a month, so who knows now? Chew on that."

With a final glower at the guy, one you learnt from the scariest person you know, you turn and leave the auditorium without another word.

~

By the time he got back to his house, for the first time in a month, its past 11 at night (Goddamn traffic. Felt like every damn intersection had construction bein' done. And everyone, and their grandma, needed to cross 'em right then.) So when he finally fits the key into the lock and slips inside, clicking the door closed behind himself, you're curled up on the old couch with the TV playing some bad snake flick on Netflix- asleep.

Jim doesn't even bother to take off his rain-drenched jacket before coming up on the couch and sitting down next to you- after all, maybe he'll let his sweetie pie do that part, he figures with a big grin. After switching off the TV with the remote he's able to finagle gently out of your grasp without waking you up (His darlin's so sleepy. Almost a shame to wake 'em up. Almost.), he curls a strand of your hair around a finger and tugs a couple times. "Wakey wakey~ "

You wake up pretty easily, having only been dozing (You were trying SO. HARD. to stay awake!!), you open your eyes just a crack- then open them wide and sit up as you come back to reality and realise He's Back. "-Oh! Shoot- I fell asleep?? Um- " You look around, giving a sniff and rubbing your eyes. "Um... house sitting went well?? You don't have any plants to keep alive, but uh- I managed to reset some of the traps outside, an- " What are you saying??

Thank god Jim stops you from waffling any further, because jesus christ. "Real happy to hear that, sugar, but d'ya know what I'm really wantin' to hear now??"

"... " you try to keep a straight face, but you know what's coming. A hesitant grin spreads across your face. "Oh lord, what?"

That sleazy grin you missed spreads slowly across his face. "How much you missed me."

Immediately you scoff, shaking your head, even with the grin. "-Oh I think you heard plenty of that already, sheriff." Casually, like it hadn't been a month since you so much as saw this man, you crawl over into Jim's lap and ring your arms up around his neck. "How about how much you missed me, huh old man?"

The growl in his hum is embarrassingly hot to you, and a hundred times better in person- not that you'd ever tell him that. "Hmm... " Seeing you right back where he liked you to be, in his lap rather then in fucken selfies he cant even fold up and keep in his pocket, made being home again Official. And gave him all kindsa ideas, too. "How about I show ya?"

... -For a moment you hesitate, frozen in place. Because you're not a dummy. Because you know what older men want with younger women. And because you are not deluded into thinking that Jim Bickerman is any better.

But god do you like him. And you weren't lying when you told Owen things had changed in a month- namely your power to resist.

And you think he likes you, too.

Hmm. "How... um," You clear your throat, skin hot. "how about you drive me to the ice cream place- the one open late on the highway?? You, uh, you could show me that way?"

Immediately Jim grins and gives a nod. "Sure, sweetheart. Just lemme get a dryer jacket. Meetcha at the truck, huh?- "

His face didn't even fall a bit when you suggested ice cream instead of sex. "Oh for fucks sake." You don't move an inch from his lap, despite the cold rain off his - yes, indeed, soaked jacket, - dampening your clothes and seeping into your skin. He likes you, he likes you, he likes you. Instead, you draw him down and kiss him.

The kiss becomes heated fast- 6 months with a person you really like without fucking it out plus an extra month without them at all, will do that to two people you'll find.

He pulls back first- but not by much. You can feel his breath on your lips as you open your eyes a crack- then open them fully at the shit eating grin on his face. "Now, darlin', I promise, I'll be gentle with ya. Alright?"

With a snort, you prod him in the forehead- gently. "Who says I've never done this before, huh?? You think that just because I haven't done it with you?"

With a scrunched up nose and a grimace-grin, he nods. "Well- Uhuh."

You would be annoyed at him, but you cant. Not right now, comfortably strewn over his lap, his hat askew tilted up and within kissing distance. So you try to curb the grin on your face, but its a terrible battle. Really more of a thumb wrestle then anything else. And not a fair one, either- "Oh shut up."

There's a very, dangerously lustful look on the old man's face. Smirk and all. You don't know exactly how long its been since he got any action, but by the looks of THAT- that look pawing at you, wandering all over you; inappropriate and wicked and perverted, inspiring hot shame, - it has to have been a while. "... Lemme get ya all warmed up, huh?"

Clearing your throat, you find yourself tucking hair behind your ear, feeling a little awkward and nervous, and young, being on top of him right now. Being looked at like That. Like exactly what he said before; fresh meat. Like a naked woman at a club, or out of a magazine, a bad video, a really good dream- Like he's starving and you're a four course meal. Except the growl in Jim's voice isn't coming from his stomach, its coming from the very back of his throat. "What do you me- Oh."

What he means becomes abundantly clear when he shows his teeth in the smirk suddenly like a big bad wolf baring his fangs, and undoes the button on your jeans. With his eagerness he doesn't bother pulling down the zip, it comes apart on its own when he digs his hand in between the seam and your very thin underwear. He doesn't bother to tease here, either- getting a good feel of you and making you choke on a gasp (or a moan?? It was a little bit of both.) with his boldness. You cover your mouth to muffle the sound, surprised at both him for suddenly touching you after all this time, and yourself for making tHAT EMBARRASSING, DESPERATE SOUND-

You should not have liked that so much. You should not be so turned on already.

Oh shit.

What the fuck with this man.

Jim chuckles at you. "Now now, sugar, don't be like that." He teases, still with that wolfish grin. "No hidin' from ol' Jimmy, hm?"

Carefully you pull your hand away from your mouth, but only halfway. Its hard to speak with the mans hand still under your throbbing cunt and seeing the absolute glee in his eyes showing his cards- he's absolutely loving every second of it; Having his cute lil sweethearts no doubt even sweeter pussy right in the palm of his hand hot and leaking and ready to go. "But- "

"Uh uh, no but's. Hand down. Now." The growl in his voice again, the steel in his expression, his forces you to do what you're told. Transferring both your hands to his still rain-damp shoulders, rolling your eyes.

"Damn, yes sir."

... there's no secret he loves that cute 'sir' business, but he sees directly through your fake bravado and gives a taunting grin instead of praising the shit out of you for it, rolling his pointer finger over your clit. Immediately your face drops, your jaw falling because it feels so good. You can see building up a gentle orgasm from this alone and he hasn't even directly touched you yet.

Your brain foggy, you manage to think to yourself who even knew that Jim Bickerman knew where the fucking clitoris was!? That was not... that was not on... not on your bingo card... Without thinking, you'd begun slowly rolling your hips with the feeling; eyes closed, the leather of his jacket pinched under your fingers, his most wicked grin watching you look so damn pretty in his lap; lettin' him touch you like this. Damn, what a good girl.

When he creeps his hand under the waistband of your underwear finally, coating his fingertips in your dripping slick, you almost snap a hand over your mouth; that embarrassing noise breaking free again. But instead you remember what he said immediately, his voice that you love so much echoing in your head like you're a well trained animal. Instead you lower your face into his shoulder, wrapping your arms around neck, hiding in his wet jacket that still smells of campfire smoke from his hunting days, and fresh rain.

He doesn't seem to mind the loophole, too focused on the feeling of his fingers disappearing inside a pretty girl once again; a sleazy grin on his mouth. That never gets old.

He seems to not mind also because you slip your hand into the kinky grey hair at the back of his head, knot your fingers in and gently squeezing at the sensation of being filled up so nicely. When he lets out a groan, you give a wicked grin of your own, buried against his shoulder. He likes his hair pulled; hmmm, you can work with that.

Another slow, gentle pull along with his languid thrusts (Just enjoying himself) and Jim has to break the peaceful silence, making you giggle.

"Careful there, pumpkin. Fuck with daddy too hard and I'll show ya who's really the boss 'ere."

A big grin teasing on your face, you rise and sit up straight, looking cheeky at him. There's silent laughter in your grin, even with the loveliest orgasm building up high in the pit on your stomach. So close. The knot so tight. Made tighter looking at him again; the glimpse of his hand in your jeans, or at least his wrist disappearing. "Oh go ahead, daddy, show me then."

"Don't you worry, I will."

As if just to prove to you he's got a million and one tricks up his sleeve to show you now, he takes that opportunity to, while you're looking right at him in the face so he can see the change in your eyes, take his thumb to your clit again and abuse it- breaking you in an instant, turning that sweet leisurely orgasm into an explosive climax instead that wipes the grin right off your face.

"... there. That what you were askin' for, sweetheart?"

The after waves ripple through you and a, admittedly, dumb smile flickers across your heated face. You run a hand through your hair, while he slips his hand out of your pants and gives an appreciative smile to the wetness all over his fingers. He gives you a peace sign and a cute, dumb grin of his own.

You grab his wrist. "... you think you're up for a little more, mr sheriff?"

"... darlin its been 7 months I've been thinkin' about this, what do you think??"

With a snort and a nod, like yeah I know, me too, you lean in and get another kiss from him.

[bullet-clubs-bitch]

can you please write something with Drilla Moloney and Fem Reader,

They are both dating but long distance due to Dan's Schedules in Japan and when Drilla came back home from an NJPW Show she's surprised him at his place in Japan and they share an loving shower together with some intimacy (can be light smut) and than curled up together in bed and cuddle a lot and he admits that he's thankful that she is always on his side no matter how far they are away from each other🖤

Zen

Drilla Moloney x Fem reader Main Masterlist

Warnings: Mentions of depression, alcohol, drugs, Oral (M&F receiving), face sitting, hand jobs, vunrable Dan, Mommy kink, cockwarming

Summary: A very vunrable Drilla Moloney is missing his girlfriend and is feeling quite down on himself. It gets to the point where his negative feelings scare his girlfriend so much that she flys all the way to Japan to check on him. What happens when she relises what he needs is for her to be in control and help him be zen.

An: Happy Bullet Club day to all who celebrate! This is my firs Drilla fic! Also I know the request said light smut but I got a bit carried away with myself, whoops. I've never wrote anything like this so I hope you enjoy it!

"I'm really struggling baby. I miss you so much, I wish you were here right now to hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay" It pained me to hear Dan like this. He always acted to tough, he was so strong, I knew he must be truly hurting for him to be admiting this to me. "I miss you too Danny. I know it's hard but this is your dream, as much as this pains me to say this, you have to stop worring about me all the time. I promise you it will all be worth it in the end" I tried my best to comfort him but there is only so much you can do on the phone. "I need you here with me" I didn't even recognize his voice on the other line. "I promise you will see me soon. I love you Dan, so much. I'm always going to be one call away. You can call me whenever you need to, even in the middle of the night"

To be completely honest that phone call with Dan scared the shit out of me. This was completely unlike him. For the first time, I was scared for his safety. I texted his best friend and tag team partner Clark Connors and asked him to keep an eye on him for me. I booked the first flight I could get to Japan and was going to surprise Dan. A last-minute flight across the world was expensive but he needed me and I needed him. The flight was long and hard but it would be worth it. When I arrived in Tokyo it was already late, I knew Dan had a show so he wouldn't get home for a few hours. In the meantime, I decided to make a nice dinner for when he got back. When I entered the apartment I was shocked at how messy it was. Piles of clothes on the floor, garbage everywhere. This wasn't like him. When I entered the bedroom I noticed a familiar scent but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I looked around the room and noticed a bottle of perfume. It wasn't just any perfume but my perfume, I wore this perfume daily. The side of the bed where I would normally sleep was drenched in it. I didn't realise how bad it was.

Before I did anything else I knew I had to clean the appartment. It looked like a tornado went through the place. The first step to a calm mind is a clean space. I felt like I was suffocating and I had only been in the place for 30 minutes. Who knows how long Dan had been living like this? I coudn't tell which clothes were clean or dirty, everything was just thrown in piles across the room. I decided to throw everything in the wash along with the bed sheets, who doesn't like to come home to clean sheets after a hard day? Once I tackled that mess I moved to the kitchen. I don't know why I was expecting there to be food in the fridge. All I found was beer and a half empty box of pizza. I ended up ordering some food instaid, I didn't want to go grocery shopping and possibly miss him coming home.

Just as I was finishing putting on the clean sheets Dan was home. I didn't even have to say anything he just knew I was there. "Y/n?" I heard him call from the kitchen. "Surprise!" I yelled before jumping in his arms, gretting him with a kiss.

...........

I felt pathetic. I felt empty. I felt ashamed of myself for sounding so vunrable. I knew I scared Y/n when I called her on the phone, I knew I shoudn't have said anything but I just needed her to know. Long distance relationships of any kind are hard but they are even harder when you are on the other side of the world. I always missed Y/n but this time I felt like would die without her. Yes I know it's pathetic but she was my other half, she was my home, she was my everything. We normally didn't spend more than a month apart but this time it was three and I was starting to question if it was worth it. Looking around my appartment I saw how much of a dump it had become. Clothing everywhere, beer cans and pizza boxes scattered around the place. Y/n would be ashamed of me. This isn't like me, I'm actually a very organized person but for some reason I coudn't find it in me to clean up. I store up at the ceiling unable to sleep, god I missed her. I turned to find the bottle of perfume I bought. It was the same one Y/n wore. I know it sounds pathetic but when I coudn't sleep I would spray the pillows with her perfume so it was like she was there next to me. It wasn't the same but it worked. Nights like that I slept like a baby, clutching that pillow like my life depended on it.

....

As I was returning to my appartment from another gruling NJPW show I just felt it in my gut Y/n would be waiting for me. As I turned my key in the door I could feel her energy in the room. "Y/n?" I called out, wondering if my mind was playing a cruel joke on me. "Supprise!" she yelled, jumping in my arms to welcome me with a kiss. "What are you doing here?!" I asked in disbelief. "I told you that whenever you need me I will be right there by your side. I know your hurting Danny, let me help you" she told me softly as she wiped away the tears that fell from my face. I didn't even know I was crying. I held her close to me, scared I was halucinating but Y/n really was there.

"You have no idea how much it means to me that you are here right now. I'm loosing my mind without you" "It's okay, I'm here now. Let me take care of you. How about a nice hot shower? You smell like beer and weed" I gently placed y/n down and let her lead me to the shower. As I made my way into the bedroom I noticed she had cleaned the whole apartment. "You did all this?" I asked her in disbelief "What did I do to deserve you" she smiled at my words. Y/n turned on the shower and I let her strip me of my clothing. She knew how vunrable I was so she took her time, being careful with me.

I then watched her strip infront of me painfully slow. She knew what she was doing. "Danny, can you help me with these?" Y/n asked with big doe eyes. I felt mesmerized by her. I coudn't help but blush, I felt nervous. With shaky hands I removed her bra and took off her panties. I was now on my knees infront of her, I looked up at her like a lost puppy. She knew what I needed, I needed her to be in control this time. I could feel myself growing harder by the moment, the anticipation was killing me. "I know you want to" Y/n said admring me kneeling before her. "I need you" I wispered out "Tell me what you want baby, use your words" "I need to taste you" I didn't even recognize my own voice with how pathetic I sounded. "I need you to cum on my face mommy" I saw the expression on Y/n's face turn from one of lust to one of horror. "What did you just call me?" She asked shocked. I didn't mean to call her mommy, it just fell out. I didn't know what to say. Y/n bent down to meet my gaze. She gently grabbed my face between her hands. "I asked you a question. What did you just call me?" I really did call her mommy by mistake but I couldn't deny that I was getting more turned on my the second. "Mommy, I called you mommy" I told her pathticly. "You want mommy to cum on your face? You want to taste me?" "Yes please" "Very well"

I stil coudn't believe this was happening. 48 hrs ago I was deep in thought about how much I missed Y/n and here I am eating her out on the bathroom floor. I missed the way she tasted, I missed the sweet sounds she would make when I made her cum. I was rough, I was sloopy with her. I was always a rough pussy eater, she just tasted so good I needed to feel her harder. I was drunk on her sweetness. I could feel she was close by the way she pulsated around my tongue and how her thighs began to tremble. It took everything not to cum myself. I held her thighs close as she started to grind on my face. She played with her breast, rolling her sensitive nipples through her fingers as she came. I welcomed the familuar wave of pressure and sweet taste and made sure to lap up every drop of her sweetness.

I was in pure bliss. I was pussy drunk. Y/n helped me off the floor and into the shower. By this point I was rock hard, precm spilling from my dick. I was on the brink of cumming. My mind was scrambled but I could see the devious look on Y/n's face. She washed my body with soap and massaged my sore mucsles. She made her way from the top of my body to the bottom. This time she knelt below me. "Look at this pore thing. Does it hurt?" she asked, refering to my erection. "Do you want me to take care of it baby?" All I could do was nood in agreement, something she did not like. She squeezed my dick rather hard. "Words, I need words baby. Tell me does it hurt? Do you need mommy to help you with this? Do you need me to massage your poor angry cock? Kiss it better?" Her words were killing me, this new mommy thing was driving me insane. "Please mommy, I beg you" I heald myself up against the wall, trying not to colapse as she began to leave a trail of kisses and kitten licks along my shaft. She teased my tip, licking the precum. Then she took me whole in her mouth. I coudn't help the moans spill from my mouth as she bobbed her head around my cock. I was close, so close and she knew it. I cried out in agony as she pulled out right as I was about to cum. "I want you to cum on my tits" she said seductivly. She then used two hands to jerk me off, squeezing my dick hard and rough as I came. I watched in awe as rope after rope of my thick seed panted her breasts. It took everything in me to keep me standing.

The two of us then shared a comfortable scilence as we washed the other off in she shower lovingly. I turned off the shower and wrapped Y/n in a fluffy towel, holding her close to me. Once we dried off and got dressed the two of us ate takeout food in bed. "You have no idea how much I needed this" I confessed "I'm glad you're feeling better. I missed you so much Dan" "I missed you too love. I can't believe you're actually here!" "I promise you that I am always going to be here for you no matter what. Even if we are across the world I will always be one text, one phone call, one plane ride away. Whenever you need me I will be there" What did I do to deserve this woman. I was head over heels in love with her. When I was with y/n all my problems disappeared, all my insicurities faded. She was my home, she was my light source, she was my everything. I felt safe whenever we were together, I felt even safer when I was inside her.

The way we fit together was truly magic. We were one person, we were made for each other. I don't know what I did to deserve such a perfect partner. That night I had the best sleep of my life, I felt complete. I looked at Y/n wish such love as she slept on my chest, my cock buried inside her. I wished everynight could be like and was sad when I remembered it coudn't. But this is now and I need to enjoy this week I have with her. We are finally together once again and I promised myself I would do anything to keep it that way.

"I love you so much Y/n. I can't wait to marry you. Sweet dreams my angel"