#it is all your fault ;D
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wouldadepressedpersonmakethis Ā· 6 months ago
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rian stafford / richard armitage
rian means king -- his dad literally went for it!
rian's bro was domnhall's older brother who always thought he was gonna be king but then lost to his bro during the trials
always took it for granted that it was his birthright as the eldest to rule!
when he lost the trials, he took his family and left astaira and did not return until it was for his brother's funeral
took his boys to roderick's og country where they both grew up
rian with the intent that one day, he would return to astaira and reclaim the throne as he ws always meant to!!!
but fun fact, rian had never even been to this country
to quote the princess diaries 2: how can one rule the people, if one does not know the people?
it shouldn't have surprised anyone that rian lost to his cousin eilia in this
(spoiler alert - it surprised rian!!!)
angry!!!!! feels like he has no place in the world, tbh
returned to varmont's og country afterwards, in disgrace
his dad died soon afterwards
rian was out for revenge -- felt like astaira betrayed him and his family
helped roderick with the invasion and told him everything his dad had taught him that might be helpful
in return, roderick has placed him in charge of lorcan
it is far from the throne of astaira, but rian is pleased to be lord of one of the most impressive estates in all of astaira
does know the lore that there is a secret stronghold beneath the castle but has not been able to find it and the lorcan girls swear they know nothing about it (he's unconvinced)
determined that lord lorcan will NEVER return and take this from him
GARBHAN STAFFORD / david oakes
garbhan also feels as though he has no place in the world
he had been raised as his brother's ~spare~ and was also placed to face the trials as his father's "back up" but lbr, no one really believed that garbhan was ever any real competition for rian or eilia
doesn't think he is a good person, deep down
spends all of his time whoring and gambling and drinking and trying to live his best life!
but the truth is, he doesn't have any real friends and he's only loyal to his broter
(has a complicated relationship with rian, but don't be fooled, he loves him okay?)
rian takes EVERYTHING seriously and garbhan seems to think everything is a joke
will flirt with your girl!!
knows he's the guy to have fun with but ultimately craves some actual love and affection in his life?
but also knows that the girls he'd want to love him, never would because he's The Worst(Tm)
so instead of love, he finds comfort in material things and spends money like valentina
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shima-draws Ā· 8 months ago
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Normally Sanji is the most put together person between him and Luffy. Heā€™s probably the most put together person on the entire crew besides Robin. Meanwhile Luffy is a walking disaster, chaos is naturally drawn to him and heā€™s ALWAYS getting into trouble. When it comes to their actual romantic relationship tho. Itā€™s COMPLETELY flipped lmao
Luffy will walk out on deck with his hair slightly tousled and his vest a bit askew but thatā€™s normal for him. He looks smug as hell but thatā€™s also normal for him. Nobody bats an eye. Then Sanji comes tumbling out of the galley. Shirt untucked and buttoned up the wrong way, hair thoroughly ruffled, clothes rumpled, looking utterly fucking disheveled. His nose is bleeding, heā€™s stumbling like heā€™s drunk and his neck is covered in hickies. Everyone on deck proceeds to lose their goddamn MINDS
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moonkhao Ā· 3 months ago
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hi.
#i know most of you didnā€™t even realize i was gone#but manā€¦#my mental health was like in a state of šŸ“‰šŸ“‰šŸ“‰ in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldnā€™t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes šŸ„²)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#iā€™m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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sittinginsunflowers Ā· 2 years ago
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the thing that really gets me about Ylfa and Pinocchio is how badly they want the adults they respect and like to also really like and respect them. weā€™ve seen Ylfa do this from the beginning, her world has been rocked by losing or being betrayed by the adults who loved and raised her, so it makes sense that sheā€™d do things like take half of Timā€™s damage and guard Rosamund when they first meet someone new. and yeah of course Pinocchio was gonna go out on his own once they got to toy island. he was always going to try to reclaim the joy his old home brought him and I think that used to be enough for him. but it isnā€™t anymore, because now, these people have shown him that heā€™s not morallyļæ¼ deficit for making the choices he had to make. so now itā€™s not enough to go play with Candlewick because he also wants to make Gerard like toy island. because Gerard was the most annoyed they had to go there in the first place and when youā€™re a kid, you want to show the adults in your life that the things you care about are cool and fun because you need them to validate those big feelings you have about it. he wants these people to like the things he likes and have a good opinion of him, because for so long everyone he cared for just told him he needed to do better, and he canā€™t process that they donā€™t like him because the things he does are cool, they like him because heā€™s him, because before now, no one ever has.
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lulu-the-bugaboo Ā· 6 months ago
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From a writing perspective, I love how clearly you can see some of Ace's traits (*cough* flaws *cough*) in Luffy
Like how harsh he is with Shirahoshi and Momo despite really caring for them
And the way he didnā€™t want to run away from Big Mom or Fujitora and continue throwing hands
It's such a fun and natural way to show they grew up together
But there is part of me that just wants to grab him by the shoulders and shake him like not you too dammit
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k-martins Ā· 1 year ago
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I don't know how much Tsumiki knew about Jujutsu society, but I like to think that whenever Megumi and Gojo came back from a day of training in Japan's sweltering summer, she would wait for them with lemonade or iced tea and the three of them would sit on the porch. home while drinking.
Then Gojo would take them out for ice cream!
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twistedappletree Ā· 6 months ago
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AINT NO FUCKING WAY
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that-was-anticlimactic Ā· 7 months ago
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one of the worst feelings ever is wanting to write but your hands hurt too much or the words just donā€™t want to work so you just sit there staring at a half finished doc with tears in your eyes bc you want to write and you need to write but everything is telling you that you canā€™t
#and that youā€™re a terrible writer and that no one cares aaaaaaand imposter syndrome kicks in and you just feel like crap#bc all your friends have been wriying recejtky so why canā€™t you??? cause theyā€™re bETTER THAN YOU#lol idk why my head is so bad today#the feelings of inferiority and emptiness and idk worthlessness are strong and i hate it but i canā€™t stop it#i just wanna write!!! and like what i write!!!#but i Canā€™t and i havenā€™t liked anything iā€™ve written in Months and ugh i hate not being able to d something i wanna do#oh and now iā€™m crying??? why the frick am i cRYING litetally why is typing this making me Worse#sorry guys needed to rant#the inadequacy was strong today#something something students keep telling me how much they dislike me or how iā€™m whiny for asking them to be respectful and like#i Know i shouldnā€™t compare myself to my friends but gosh itā€™s hard when theyā€™re all like. so much better than me.#and i donā€™t have a lot of time to be on tumblr bc of work so i just feel like iā€™m watching everything from afar and itā€™s no oneā€™s fault but#my brainā€™s like no one is Doing anything itā€™s just my brain being dumb and i canā€™t stand it and I want to stop feeling empty and like iā€™m#missing a part of myself and like the words i write donā€™t matter gOD why canā€™t i just feel happy with where i am and not care what the kids#who hate me say or realize that no one cares that iā€™m not on much like iā€™m still Here and trying to interact itā€™s not like everyone hates me#for being busy or for liking side characters more than the main characters and justā€”#sorry#that felt good actually#idk what came over me#imma just. imma shower. then maybe delete my tags#sorry if anyone got this far aT ALL grace is either asleep or trying to sleep so i donā€™t wanna bother them since they slept poorly last nigh#okay done now for real sorry delete tags later sorry if you saw this and how freaking messed up ky freaking brain is
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shalom-iamcominghome Ā· 7 months ago
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How do you go about building a relationship with G-d? I never had any real relationship with a god so I'm not sure how to go about it
I think you have to understand your personal needs and what you are comfortable with. Even when I was in xtian spaces, for example, what brought me away from g-d was the idea of fearing Him. I feared my abusers and any relationship built on fear is an instant toxic relationship for me, so instead, I build and foster my relationship with g-d based on love for Him and love for me. I love g-d, and in turn, I should love myself because g-d breathed this soul into me.
I think what also helped me was to treat my relationship with g-d in a similar way that I treat relationships I have in real life. When I don't speak to my friends, I feel distant from them. I forget what it's like to truly be with them, and in the same way, if I am distant from g-d, I forget what He feels like. That's not to say that I don't treat g-d differently than my real life relationships, because I do, but it's just to help illustrate what I mean. I feel close to g-d when I am fulfilling the mitzvot I can do - when I wear my kippah, I feel close to g-d. I am reminded of Him, and reminded of what I am, and it makes me feel secure. I know that He is close, that I can call upon Him, and praise Him, and think of Him at any point, and He will listen if nothing else. When I am upset about how little I feel I am doing, I remember these little things and I feel just a little bit better, and I am grateful for that.
I think basically, it can come down to:
1. What do you think a relationship with g-d looks like? If you have an idea of what that looks like, do you know why you feel that way?
2. How would you go about exploring fostering that relationship? Are there certain practices which call to you? If you can introspect about it, why does it call to you?
3. What does g-d mean to you? Are there factors in your life which influence your thoughts?
These are heavy questions, and there is no right or wrong answer. I think g-d just wants us to be close to Him, to do our best, and to choose Him. It might take you a long time to explore what you want, and that's okay! G-d can wait, He's not going anywhere. When you find something that clicks for you, you might just start to truly find what your soul yearns for.
I truly hope this might inspire you in any way. If anything, all I hope is that your budding relationship with g-d is yours and fulfills you. That is all I want from people who believe in Him, or who want to experience Him.
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steakout-05 Ā· 1 month ago
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as an Australian you American blokes have got to stop talking about huntsman spiders like that. don't diss my weird little lanky wallclimber friends, they're not horrible awful freaks of nature who chase you and bite you on contact. they're actually very docile and timid and they're very reluctant to bite. like, all they really want to do is hang out on your walls or your ceiling and eat bugs all day. huntsman spiders are way more likely to run away from you and go hide away in your pantry than they are to go out of their way to bite you. biting you would probably put them in even more danger than if they just ran away, and if you are messing with a huntsman spider enough for it to bite you, you were likely being an asshole to it. they do not want to bite people! they don't chase you either, not on purpose anyway. the reason it might seem like one is running towards you is because huntsman spiders have pretty bad eyesight and literally cannot see you properly. it can absolutely be frightening and jarring, yes, i would understand as i have arachnophobia and have expereniced the fear of a huntsman unintentionally jumping or sprinting towards me, but they do not want to chase you or scare you. they are trying to run away. they are in the same boat as you, they're scared out of their wits and are trying to avoid danger. huntsman spiders are not these horrible dangerous freaks, they're just little (and sometimes not so little) guys. they can be scary, but all the miconceptions about them are not warranted or deserved in the slightest! and anyway, they're not even "only in Australia". we are home to many huntsman spiders, but they are also present in Asia, Africa and some places in America. they're not even exclusive to this country so i don't get why "only in Australia" gets hurled at them a lot.
actually, the whole attitude Americans have of Australia having weird and dangerous wildlife and the same old "only in Australia!!1!! kill it with fire lol!!!!1!" reddit drivel is pretty shitty overall tbh. every continent on the damn planet has weird and dangerous wildlife, why are we acting like it's JUST Australia you should stay away from???? America has some fuckin strange animals living there, you don't see as many people making a big stupid spectacle out of that. Australia's wildlife is unique and beautiful and wonderful, no Australian wildlife slander in my notes.
#americans be normal about australia challenge (impossible) /jjjjj#nah but seriously though. as a huntsman liker i will not stand for these lies#the only spiders you really need to worry about are widows funnel webs and recluses if you live in adelaide#also slightly unrelated to spiders and more about americans being weird about australia:#do... do americans genuinely think australia is mostly empty desert...? do they really???#do they get shocked when they learn people live all over australia and not just the coasts......#yeah more people live around the coasts but that doesn't mean there aren't people everywhere. australia isn't just barren land wtf#sorry that was a side tangent i went on. actually i'm not sorry cause that's still an important thing to say#anyway. huntsman spiders are really cool actually and i wish people would stop insulting them all the time#they're timid and gentle. they are not out for blood. they're really good for controlling certain pests!#they are also some of the coolest spiders ever. did you know the biggest type of huntsman is gold?#gold huntsman spiders are really cool because the hair on their bodies makes it look like they're glowing and shining#some huntsman spiders are white and black and they look really cool :D#huntsman spiders' eyes are reflective and if you shine a light on one in the darkness its eyes will glow like a cat's eyes#and i just think that's neat!!#there is one thing i will say about huntsman spiders being dangerous though...#they can be dangerous when one suddenly falls on you or scuttles into view when you're driving#cause you get startled and momentarily lose control of the vehicle which can be disastrous#but even then that isn't the spider's fault and it's not your fault either. that would be a freak accident#anyway yeah huntsman spiders are great i love them :)#spiders#arachnids#huntsman spider#australia#if i gotta see one more redditor say ''kill it with fire'' in response to a huntsman spider im gonna explode
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pleasedontcareaboutme Ā· 3 months ago
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I don't care when people don't include me in stuff, I'm used to it but-----
my own family going on a trip w/o even asking me kinda felt
shit šŸ« 
#like i understand cuz they gave up on trying to talk to me butttttttt#why the fuck am i the villain in the story even like this šŸ˜­#its okay if u dont give a fuck abt me. but at least dont make me feel like i deserve it lol#like yes sorry but i have a reason for lowkey disliking all of you#and i know damn well all of you know why#yet they always say that it makes no sense i behave this way#behave this way means keeping my healthy distance and trying to move out asap#i dont spread hate and im not an asshole with them???#but me not acting all lovey dovey is a problem too#yes idk i always think i should cherish that they are still alive and i could better my relationship with them but#What to do when you can see your own dad literally hating you#like when he talks to me he always does so in a cynical and angry way#man im sorry i was born and shit its kind of your fault for not using a condom :/#lol okay i think imma delete this later but yes#yes i hate it that the only people i feel loved by are de*d ffsssssssssssssss#like all is well lately but i wish! love wouldn't only exist in my head man! im happy this way but when i realize the situation its kind of#pathetic and idk until how long#can i keep on staying sane like this lol#im kind of already insane if we think abt it but how long will it take me to lose my marbles completely šŸ˜­#yes this crisis was spiraled by just me not being included in a trip i wouldnt have gone to regardless if they asked me#but yes like. Idk they could have just told me at leastšŸ˜­ i called my sis in the morning and she responded like 10 hours later that they are#w dad and a womannn doing some funsies eating pancakes n shit šŸ‘»šŸ‘»#i hate pancakes and i hate myself but šŸ‘»#im jealous of you guys frrrrršŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬› for being so normal n happy šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›
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87dvhnk Ā· 6 months ago
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"i read the wiki and i saw the pages/panels already, why do i need to read the comics?"
because a) some those comics fuck with awing dexterity and stamina b) there's a good chance shit is out of context or simply misrepresented (innocently, humorously, ignorantly or maliciously) and c) you know the beats/endings of tons of shit, but it doesn't impede your enjoyment of it, now does it? sure it's nice to go in spoiler free, but if the gimmick of spoiling material is all a piece of media has, then that piece of media is meritless. you knew who luke skywalker's father was before you saw the movie. is it still worth watching? you knew romeo and juliet died before you read the play. is it still worth reading? do you not want to go on a journey? do you not want to feel something? do you not want to commiserate about the human experience through art? a wiki will never be comprehensive enough to cover everything you would have read or seen yourself--it can't be, not without being the thing itself. even then, you still miss the things not on the page/screen, the things that are only implied, the things that go unstated, or else conspicuously omitted. don't talk to me about shit haunting the narrative if the only haunting you've ever been apart of was your passing despite your dogshit analysis skills haunting the conscience of your eng 101 adjunct professor in perpetual fear of losing their contract and being relocated from their car to under a bridge by demanding college students demonstrate basic reading comprehension, critical thinking, and coherent argumentative skills. boast about killing the author? my friend, you are cain advancing in the fields, skulking, stepping in abel's footprints, filled with murderous intent, with nothing but the chinese telephone-equivalent of a description of a weapon cutting into your soft palms.
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anjasitdown Ā· 6 months ago
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One of the things I love with Parallel City is that it didn't shy away from making choices and holding yourself responsible of it. June could've stayed with Min in Earth 2 without violating his principles; he could've lived there with his parallel brother and father in peace. But it does make sense that he returns to Earth 1 with his real brother. June had always believed it's his fault* D turned into a selfish, opportunitistic murderer. I was expecting that when D was cornered by Min and his allies, June would shoot him since he has the responsibility to end the monster he created. But he didn't. He shot the zombies approaching D instead, and that was the most heartbreaking part in the series. It wasn't heartbreaking because June used Min, betrayed and gave him false hope, sure, that scene hurts, but it was heartbreaking to see your own brother get beaten up like a rabid dog, while also acknowledging his sins. And June just.... couldn't hate D enough to let him die. From the very beginning, June had always planned to get his brother home, to where he belongs, with him. Even if D got infected and almost died, he didn't give up on his brother. Even if D lost his arm and leg, June willingly took on the duty to care for him. June did all this not because his brother is his responsibility, but also because of his love for him. He didn't just shy away from his responsibility, June embraced it.
Min understood all this. Not only that but he also appreciates what June did for both of his brothers. Min knew he could never replace June's brotherā€”although they share the same appearance and nameā€”just as how June could never replace his own older brother. But the time they spent together was enough to fill the love they long for to receive from a brother; it was enough to close the gaping wound of grief.
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plaguethewaters Ā· 9 months ago
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sometimes i wanna be insensible bout shit yk
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inafieldofdaisies Ā· 2 years ago
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WIP Wednesday | TaggingĀ @thesingularityseriesĀ @socially-awkward-skeletonĀ @direwombatĀ @adelaidedrubmanĀ @strafethesesinnersĀ @strangefableĀ @nightbloodbixĀ @aceghostsĀ @madparadoxumĀ @g0dspeeedĀ @trench-rotĀ @josephseedismyfatherĀ @josephslittledeputyĀ @euryalexĀ @sstewyhosseiniĀ @detectivelokisĀ @purplehairsecretlairĀ @jinfromyarikawaĀ @shegetsburnedĀ @clicheantagonistĀ @locustandwildhoneyĀ @fourlittleseedlingsĀ @poisonedtruthĀ @vampireninjabunnies-blogĀ @cassietrnĀ @wrathfulrookĀ @jacobsneedĀ @voidika @harmonyowlĀ @henbased @schoute and anyone with something to share <3
Sharing another snippet from Chapter 10: Calahan and Leslie's first meeting. A rocky start of a bromance. Sprinkling some Mary May x Hartley breadcrumbs in there, too. <3
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Hours after discovering Harker passed out on the side on the road among two other dead Resistance members, Calahan found himself parking his truck in front of the Spread Eagle. Arguably, he had never needed a drink more. Not only had he lost two recruits, no matter how difficult they had proven themselves to be, while the third was still recovering from the Bliss bullet he was hit with, but he had discovered his biggest fear to be true: Sabrina was in the hands of John Seed, just like Hudson. He couldn't come up with any other explanation for what Justin had seen on that road after Charlie's group had ambushed the bastard. The woman sparing a life, the child in the car, every detail he had received from the woozy teen further confirmed his theory about the identity of the woman John had with him. And Savannah. His gaze darkened at the thought of the kid that called him uncle anywhere near that goddamned bunker. "Gray wouldn't allow it. She would fight like hell.", he whispered to himself as he finally exited the Eden's Gate truck he had recommissioned from a capture party recently. "Rest in peace, NOT, fuckers.", he said out loud as he slammed the door shut and turned in the direction of the bar. A couple of minutes later he was sitting in his usual seat inside, nursing a glass of whatever liquor Mary May still had in stock after John Seed had his men confiscate her main stash few days back. Bastard is quickly climbing up my shit list. Calahan didn't care much about what she was serving him as long as it took the edge off, calmed him down after finally getting news on Sabrina and her sister. His eyes fell down on the handmade rainbow bracelet Savannah had gifted him few weeks back, something he hadn't taken off since she had tied it around his wrist with the biggest grin on her freckled face. It was another reminder of what needed protecting, why he fought as hard as he did even before the Reaping's start. Why he argued with Whitehorse so often, why he lashed out at the damned Peggies as a result, why he didn't give a single fuck about protocol when it came to the Project. As he ran his fingers over the white beads that spelled out his actual name, not "Rookie", he told himself this is what Joseph should never get his claws into: the innocents he could so easily poison with his deadly ideas. And yet John had done just that- gotten his hands on Savannah, too. Where are you, Tiny? You better be alright or he will be paying in blood.
"Something's on your mind, Rookie. I can tell.", Mary May stopped in front of him. He let out a dry laugh, "Just the usual bullshit, gorgeous. Don't worry." "You sure?", she eyed the way he was gripping the glass in his hand as he willed his anger to settle down, to retreat, "You seem out of sorts. I've seen that look before, you know, then seconds later you were punching a customer." "He was asking for it." "Didn't say he wasn't. But stillā€¦ what's up?", Mary May raised an eyebrow and leaned against the bar, her hand coming to rest on top of his. Calahan found himself unable to process the unexpected touch after months of her ever only being annoyed with his flirting. He opened his mouth, wishing all his worry would pour out as easily as she poured his next drink, knowing she was good at listening to people. Her soft blue eyes assured him of it in that moment, hinting that maybe she actually cared for him. Was willing to hear him out. But the words never came, instead the bell above the door chimed, putting an end to the brief moment between them as she returned to her post to greet whoever had entered. Calahan didn't bother turning around, instead he released a tired sigh and took another sip. He reveled in the familiar burn of the alcohol as it slid down his throat, in the promise it would get him closer to feeling numb, even for a short while. "I will be damned.", Mary May exclaimed suddenly. Her tone made him look towards the bar's entrance sharply, his hand immediately reaching for his pistol on instinct in anticipation of trouble. It took him seconds to register the sight in front of him, seconds where he wondered if he was imagining things, if the liquor was hitting him harder than expected. Certainly that was the only explanation for seeing John Fuckface Seed standing in front of him. Before he could think twice, he practically flew from his chair, almost knocking it over as he charged at the bastard. His hand wrapped around his neck before he slammed him into the wall next to the door with all his might.
"Where is SHE?", Calahan screamed, the anger he was struggling to keep under wraps escaping at the unexpected appearance of the man that fucked with him daily. The man that paraded Hudson on his broadcast as a cautionary tale for what's to come. The man that he suspected had Sabrina and an innocent child as prisoners, too. Deep blue eyes stared at him in confusion, betraying his panic. Good. You should be afraid. "I'm-", the bastard tried to croak out, the force of Hartley's hold on his windpipe made it impossible for him to get anything else out. Calahan knew he had to loosen his grip, that he'd get no information from a deadman, but his hate for the Seeds had reached a boiling point with the missed opportunity to save Sabrina still fresh on his mind. "CALAHAN! Stop.", Mary May pulled at his shoulder, trying to bring him back from the edge, at the same time the man grabbed his wrist, twisting his arm behind his back swiftly. "I am not JOHN SEED.", came out as a frustrated shout as he restrained him, the words making Hartley blink in surprise, his face no doubt mirroring Mary May's. "Let go of my arm, bastard, if you don't want me to break yours.", he gritted out and whoever the man was finally released his arm. "Rookie. You okay?", Mary May whispered as she put a hand on his bicep, her gaze a mix of shock and concern. "He attacked me, m'am. And you're asking if he's okay?" M'am? Fuck me. Definitely not John Seed. Calahan turned around, scanning the man that stood in a defensive pose in the doorway from head to toe. The dark hair, beard, blue eyesā€¦ he could pass for John's fucking double. "I will be damned.", he parroted Mary May's words from earlier, "Who the fuck are you?" The stranger rubbed his throat before answering, "Detective Leslie Parish. I'm here looking for, well, you." Calahan couldn't help the shocked laugh that escaped him, "Isn't my day just getting better and better?", he returned to his seat and pointed to the chair next to him, "Sit."
Mary May sprung back into action, retreating behind the bar as she addressed what she considered now a potential customer, "Anything to drink, Detective?" "Whiskey. On the rocks, uh-", Leslie responded in a low tone as he sat down and rubbed his face, "Sorry, I didn't catch your nameā€¦" "Mary May." She wasted no time pouring him a drink which he downed immediately the second she put it down in front of him. "Thank you." "Now you've officially passed the test. Definitely not John Seed.", Calahan spoke up, making the detective next to him laugh. "Sorry for almost choking the life out of you.", he added and reached a hand to him, "Deputy Calahan Hartley, though most call me Rookie." The man accepted the handshake with a raised eyebrow, "You're new to the Sheriff's?" "No." "Should I call you Rookie, then?" Calahan paused, not many had bothered to ask him that question, not since Sabrina had shown up on her first day months ago. "Calahan or Cal would be nice." Leslie nodded, "Noted." "I gather you're aware you look like a certain someone?", Mary May interjected. "My last few days have been hell. Fuck, the moment I arrived in your beautiful County, I had a shotgun pointed at my face. Lost count how many times I had to explain to people I'm not John Seed, or say I'm not related to him or his brother in any way." "Have to admit, it's kind of a challenge not to punch you in the face, no offense.", Calahan eyed him with curiosity, "Why are you here?" "I planned on visiting someone when all hell broke loose. Haven't managed to find her yet." "Who?" "I thought if anyone would know where she is, it would be you, Deputy.", Leslie took a deep breath, his blue eyes filled with worry as he muttered, "I'm looking for Sabrina Donovan. She used to tell me stories about you anytime we talked over the phone, then people mentioned your name as the one in charge of things out here, and it all clicked. I knew who I had to track down." Well, fuck me, ain't that a plot twist.
"I don't know what to say, aside from that I'm looking for her as well. Have been for days now.", Calahan took out his zippo, flicking it open and closed in attempt to soothe his nerves. "Where is she, Calahan? What happened?" "You might need another drink before I tell you that story." Leslie's eyes narrowed while Mary May poured him a second glass. "What happened?", he repeated in a low tone. "On the first we got called in afterhours by the Sheriff himself, Sabrina included, weren't told much about why until a Federal Marshal walzed in announcing we'd be arresting Joseph Seed. He was so giddy, too giddy." "Sabrina didn't tell me anything about the cult, how serious things wereā€¦" "Sounds just like her, too independent for her own good.", Calahan gave him a sad smile, before continuing, "So, we flew over to his compound, entered the fucker's church while he's holding a service in the middle of the night. Like what the hell, right? Sheriff had decided Sabrina would have the honors to slap the cuffs on him. At the last second, she backed away, all frantic, saying something's wrong." "She's never afraid of arrests. I've known her for years. She has chased down all sorts of questionable charactersā€¦ not once have I seen her flinch.", Leslie's face darkened, but he didn't say anything else, waiting for more. "My thoughts exactly, but this family, Detectiveā€¦ They're different.", Calahan lowered his voice, "The second we walked in John fucking Seed was eyeing her with interest. Got even worse when she hesitated to arrest his brother while the Marshal lost his shit at the delay. I jumped in, cuffing him. We managed to escort him outā€¦ but his people refused to let him go, crashed our chopper." "Sabrinaā€¦ is she dead? Is this what you're trying to tell me?" Hartley shook his head, "Last time I saw her, she was alive. I insisted to get her out, to help with that fucking seatbelt. Joseph's men were all around, took away the others from the chopper. Sabrina demanded I run, promising she'd be right behind." He was close to losing his cool at the memory of that cursed early morning.
Mary May put an ashtray in front of him then, whispering, "I'm making an exception this one time." Calahan gave her a grateful smile, lighting a cigarette and taking a drag of it before adding, "We never reunited, I bumped into the fucking Marshal instead, bastard left me to drown after we tried to make a run for it and a freaking plane sent our truck flying off a bridge." "Fuck." "Yeah. A good samaritan saved me. Dutch. Helped me get back on my feet, offered we start a resistance seeing how the cult has everything on lock down and no help is coming." "Good call, with everything gone to shit." He nodded, "We had a mole, you know. Fucking Nancy. Loyal to the "Father", as Joseph likes to call himself. Didn't get us the reinforcement Whitehorse asked for." "And Sabrina?" "Have been looking for her ever since the goddamned Reaping started. It's what they call this shitshow. "Reaping". Think they're saving our souls, that the world is about to endā€¦" Leslie looked lost in thought as he uttered out, "I saw John's broadcast with the other Deputy." Hartley lit another cigarette, his anger bubbling as he kept reminding himself the man in front of him wasn't John, despite how much he resembled him. "Yeah, he has Joey. Has been calling me daily too, railing me up with her capture, but hasn't said anything about Sabrina." "I went to her house. Cult trucks were parked at the front, no sign of her or her sister, it's why I've been trying to find you, Calahan." "I might have something, but I doubt you'd like it. I sure as hell didn't. Are you sure you're ready?" Leslie downed his drink, "Yes." Mary May winced, "Yeah, maybe avoid saying that word," she gestured to his head, "with that face." "Sorry.", he sent her a knowing smile.
"Earlier today, a trainwreck of a recruit showed up here with his buddies, claiming he has intel on John's next move, was planning to ambush him. I didn't believe it, so I turned down their invite." "Something tells me they were right?" "Sadly. Hour or so later, I get a call from the youngest guy, saying they have him, listing off their location before he went silent. I drove there and found quite the bloody scene." Leslie's hands formed fists on the bar. "Bastard killed two of the three guys, slashed their throats, the one that contacted me got shot with a Bliss bullet, but he's recovering." "Bliss bullet?" "Potent shit. It's a drug the cult makes, knocks you out in seconds, the things they use it forā€¦ pure hell, Detective." "How are things this bad?" "They've been preparing. Joseph claims to see the future, you know. Visions from God, he calls them. When we showed up at the church, he said he knew we'd come, that we'd try to take him away, but "God" won't let us." "Fuck, and Rina didn't think to tell me any of this. Assured me it's all fine.", Leslie muttered in frustration. "She does that a lot, doesn't she?" "Who shot Harker with a Bliss bullet?", it was Mary May that spoke up, her voice curious. Calahan took a deep breath, revealing what he had planned on keeping a secret. "Sabrina.", he said quietly, glad the bar was empty. "What the fuck, Rookie?" "She saved the bastard, gorgeous. He has her sister, from what Harker told me." Leslie slammed his hand on the bar, "Savannah. Where are they?", he got up from his chair, but Hartley caught his arm, stopping him from storming out. "Sit down, Les. As much as it pains me to say this, to be the voice of reasonā€¦ we have to be rational about this."
"I should have come with her.", he said darkly, but followed Calahan's advice. "I've been down that road, too. Thoughts about what I should have done keep me up at night. But if I know one thing about Sabrinaā€¦ she's resourceful, resilient." "She is.", he smiled. "I don't know for certain where she could be, it kills me to think he dragged Savannah into that bunker.", his fingers touched the bracelet again absently, "But we can't storm it, not with how much manpower and resources he has, not without a solid plan or people we can rely on, especially when we have no eyes inside to be sure she's even there." "Fuck. I- I know you're right, Deputy." "He hasn't mentioned her once, Leslie. Not once in the radio calls to me, she's not in the broadcast, it's like he doesn't want people to know he has her. Anytime I ask about her, he dodges my question." "He's planning something." Mary May looked between the two with a unreadable expression, "You don't think he turned her?" "Fuck no, Mary May. You know Sabrina. I just told you she saved Harker." "Fuck.", she pursed her lips, "Rookie, I know the games John plays, how he breaks people. And after Nancyā€¦ what if Sabrina's on his side, too? Maybe has been all along." Calahan shook his head sharply, "She's not turned. She's not a fucking Peggie. I know her." "Fine. For what is worth, you know I trust your judgment.", Mary May crossed her arms over her chest, giving him a stern look. "Peggies?", Leslie seemed lost in thought as he asked that. "Project at Eden's Gate, Peggies for short. It's what locals call Joseph's men." "Noted."
Hartley took a deep breath, putting out his cigarette before he turned to Leslie, "Look, I know there's not much to do right now about Sabrina, not without more informationā€¦ but seeing how you're here, that you found me, maybe it's all for the best. I sure as hell can use another helping hand against the Project." Leslie's eyes darkened, a look of determination coming over his features, "Your battle is now my battle, too, Calahan." "Good.", Calahan raised his glass for a toast before asking, "You got a gun, Detective?" Leslie nodded, "My service weapon.", he opened his leather jacket, showing off a holstered pistol. "We're gonna get you more serious firepower ASAP.", Calahan pointed to the gun, "You had to use it yet?" "A few times. The "Peggies" are everywhere. Even tried to take over the motel I was staying at. I tried to help people along my way here as much as possible.", he said the nickname with uncertainty. "Learning fast. The only good Peggie is a dead one, Les, because chances are they'd try to take you back to John's bunker or dunk you in the river to cleanse you.", Calahan's voice became lighter, "Hell, now that I'm thinking of it, you have an advantage, if you ask me. They see your face and start to wonder if they're not about to shoot their precious leader, giving you an extra second to strike." Leslie chuckled humorlessly, "What a way to spend my vacation days. I will keep it in mind." "Is Abeline okay?", Mary May questioned, her tone laced with worry. "She was when I left, she's a fighter. Who do you think pulled that shotgun on me? Never have been more confused in my life. She went from wielding a gun to making me coffee." "Good old Abby.", Mary May laughed, "Thank you, Detective. For looking out for our people." Her words made Leslie look away, "Just doing my duty." "We got a shy one on our hands, gorgeous.", Calahan slapped him on the back as he got up and headed for the door, "Come now, there's some people you need to meet." Leslie finished his drink, muttering a quiet "thank you" on his way out. "Leslie." Mary May called out before they could exit, reaching under the bar and pulling out a Spread Eagle branded hat that she threw at him, "Might want to cover your face as much as possible. Spare yourself a "friendly" welcome or two."
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midshipmank Ā· 1 year ago
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actually had to forcibly separate myself from my grading because i was tempted to call a student an idiot on their test. not my proudest moment as a teacher
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