#it is SO EXHAUSTING it's not even FUNNY

[10yearsofdnp]

Dan reblogged this far too relatable captcha meme on February 4, 2015! 🫥

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

[anne-is-confused]

Anyway,

[backatitagainatichirakus]

Obkk au in which Obito has a bit less self control and openly stalks Kakashi when he's out of the village (he's not dumb enough to let people find out he can get inside Konoha anytime he wants) and it's a whole thing.

In canon everybody always recognizes Kakashi everywhere he goes. "The copy nin" "Kakashi of the Sharingan" in this au everyone knows that everywhere Kakashi goes, the weirdo with the mask is never far behind. It's even on the bingo book, "Hatake Kakashi. Sharingan user, Ninjutsu specialist. Signature jutsu: chidori. Last living student of the fourth Hokage. Constantly shadowed by a masked man."

It's driving everybody nuts. Danzo tried to kill Kakashi once, sent his root agents after him and they were slaughtered before they could even make contact. There was a note on one of them with a doodle of the stalker's mask.

The Hokage can't afford to keep one of his best soldiers inside the village, so every time Kakashi departs he does it in disguise, through hidden exits. Yet no matter what they try, the moment Kakashi steps outside the masked man is there, sitting on a branch, staring at him silently.

He never looks away.

Konan and Nagato pity him (and also are EXTREMELY confused).

At first Kakashi used to attack him, but his attacks went through him and he thought he was going nuts until one mission he went out with a team and turned out they could see him too, and they also could not touch him.

The man never spoke, never attacked.

Until Kakashi almost takes a sword to the back, but instead of the pain of steel breaking through armor and flesh, he only feels a warm spray of blood hitting the back of his neck. He turns, startled, and sees his stalker, closer than ever before, holding the freshly ripped off head of the enemy Shinobi that almost took his life.

When the information that the man would interfere if Kakashi's life was truly in danger, the smartest people ran the moment Kakashi showed up. The others lost their lives, usually by Kakashi's hand. The other times the masked man would interfere and easily dispose of those threats.

Kakashi got attacked almost exclusively with genjutsu and paralytics afterwards, always aiming to incapacitate, never to kill. Which was very annoying in Kakashi's opinion, but after a few years he got used to it.

Needless to say, the wave mission went very differently, with Zabuza cursing to high heavens the moment he recognizes who he is facing.

What the hell is he supposed to do now, the man's speciality is silent assassination. Killing is so easy, too easy. He's been doing it since he was five, he's a prodigy at it! He doesn't know how to incapacitate in a way that doesn't end up with someone losing a limb. What if he hits Kakashi too hard and the guy drops dead, huh? What then?

A few meters away, Haku sits on a branch besides the famous masked man, staring down at a group of bemused genin and one old man, an extremely embarrassed jounin, and Zabuza pacing in front of them, ranting and cursing and swinging kurikiribōchō around.

[kacievvbbbb]

Seven Warlords of the Sea

*edit: because I like an idiot forgot Akainu didn't actually want the warlord program destroyed 😭

the real reason that Akainu *should have* voted for the destruction of the Warlord program is, besides them being filthy pirates, they were also just fucking embarrassing.

Like pathetically, how did we let this happen, embarrassing In the amount of time we have known them, between the 12 total Shichibukai;

4 of them got their asses beat by the same dude (1 of them before he even became a warlord)

2 of them went on to openly work for/ with said dude

1 of them literally fell in love with and actively sabotages efforts to apprehend this same dude

At two separate points they have actively tried to recruit (and succeeded once) the sons of two of their biggest ops.

Not to mention how 1 of them also got their ass beat by said dude's brother and then they would lose 3 more on the same day over the war for the life of said brother who was the same son they tried to recruit

2 of the Warlords would then go on to harbor/ mentor a member of this dude's crew and the dude himself! Arguably when he was the most wanted criminal alive. While the member that should have been the most robotically compliant protected the dude's pirate ship with his life.

They got played four different times on a world stage by 4 different members and 3 of said times all involved THIS SAME DUDE!

2 of the times involving the take over of a country that was then foiled by said dude while the marines did nothing.

They've had to imprison 2 of them and brainwash a 3rd

They've had to shop for replacements 7 whole times just in the span of 3 years

At no point have all seven members attended a meeting. Hell Hancock has attended not a one.

During the months before their disbandment there weren't even 7 of them! there were only 5

They are pretty sure 1 of them is fucking an emperor, 1 of them was working for an emperor, 1 of them might be (it is unconfirmed) the illegitimate son of a now dead emperor and another is protected by The actual fucking Dark King.

They literally had to fire Moria for being a fucking embarrassment

And one of them is a fucking clown

that would go on to recruit 2 other former warlords to create a guild that encourages the hunting of marines for sport and rise to the ranks of emperor.

Of course Akainu hates their fucking guts. They are quite literally the stupidest group of people he has ever had to work with in his life and they seem to bring out new levels of previously unreached stupidity in the marines! Just a cesspool of failure and incompetency trying to call itself a program.

95% of the reason Sengoku retired was to get away from these fucking idiots. He was drowing in the sea of paperwork Mihawk alone was causing not to mention the rest of their dumbasses and Akainu isn't about that life.

And that brings me to reason number 184 of why Akainu *should have* voted yes on disbanding the warlords

dealing with the fucking paper work storm and international incident that hit Sengoku's desk everytime Mihawk decided that needing to be fucked outweighed being subjected to an idiot. Nah Akainu needed them gone like yesterday.

[myokk]

soft🥹

[velarisdusk]

tiktok US is gone and there’s no doubt in my mind that trump will reinstate it within a week or two bc he’s got the billionaires and half the supreme court in the palm of his hand and everyone is gonna say fuck it and forget all the bullshit he’s done and said bc “yasss president trump saved tiktok” god give me a fucking xanax or something

[msnihilist]

"you guys are celebrating a murder" yes, I am aware?? 🤨 that's literally The Whole Point

[cementcornfield]

Did you see the clip of Joe yesterday?

Is it a clip now? Oh lord....was it funny at least?

It was the first time he ever used the F word in a conference.

He cursed? Y'all lying...I be trying to get him to curse, he don't curse when I'm talking to him...

[ink-blot-thoughts]

It is so eternally funny to me that the Fatui have acquired every single gnosis peacefully... except for Venti.

Zhongli had his contract, Yae Miko traded Ei's, Nahida also traded hers and Ei's, and Neuvilette just gave that shit away. Like we're introduced to them as stealing all the Gnoses and then they drop that shit immediately.

Even worse, they steal it from Venti. Fucking Venti. Mr Had a 500 Year Nap. Mr Tells His City To Be Free and Fucks Off. Mr Steals Wine For Himself. That dude. That's the one it was necessary to dropkick.

Like Signora could have sauntered up with an apple in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other and Venti would have given up his gnosis faster than you can say 'Freedom'.

And even if we go with the theory that Venti knows much more than he let's on, he would've have probably given it away anyway considering what we know now about the third Descender and all.

Like Signora had zero need for the bitchslap-dropkick-combo but she needed the Fatui to have a girl boss reputation so she did anyway. Rate. We stan a proactive Queen ig.

[stephantom]

This is belated but congratulations on the baby! Hope you all are doing well! It's quite an experience 😅

Thank you! We are all doing well, and yeah, it has been a wild ride. Most intense week of my life, I’d have to say. Lots of crying (from joy and from anxiety, alternately—everything just turned up to 10). It’s definitely starting to settle into manageable day to day life though now. I’ve had some good stretches of sleep and I’m feeling soooo rested compared to this time last week!

And the delivery itself was. I mean, all in all, I think it went almost as smoothly as possible?? I was playing my Nintendo Switch and watching movies on my phone through the contractions for a good while. (Until they got worse.) Got a little rough toward the end when it came to actually pushing the baby out (but it happened in the end!) and recovery is more intense than I’d understood it to be beforehand (much like how pregnancy itself turned out to be more intense than I’d ever understood). But yeah. 👍

And I’ve got a sweet little tiny person here!!! Who didn’t use to exist and now they do! Crazy!!

[dizzybizz]

who else is a boy that loves pressing a mysterious button 🙋‍♂️

[tj-crochets]

It’s time to make coasters from a bunch of HSTs from the box of scraps I got!

I’m aiming for 4” ish square, and I’m making A Bunch so I can give them to my endocrinologist’s entire staff because they have hugely improved my quality of life. Like. By leaps and bounds. I’d make them all full quilts if I knew how many people worked there but that’s maybe a little much so quilted coasters it is! And maybe some quilted mug cozies!

[luciddaydreamingworlds]

A bit of a sketch dump, featuring a new Oc, more Clem and Crystal, and Mikhail and Raz. The lanky af dude is Cleff Foote, Clem's uncle.

Cleff is a Psychonauts agent, and he used to be a field agent, but a recent-ish injury got him pulled from field work. Which, honestly, is alright by him. It gave him more time to sort out legal matters and pull himself together enough to take in his nibling.

Also starting to try sketching in coloured pencil on paper. I looove the fact that it doesn't smear, omg-

[shikai-the-storyteller]

It's taking me ages to write this chapter because every time I look through old VODs / notes to check something, I come across moments like this that make me want to lie down face-first on the floor:

[Context: Pac commits to the idea of taking the Happy Pills so he can create a cure. He's about to write a note to Cellbit to explain his plan.]

Pac: If Cellbit puts himself in this position, it's worse for everyone, because Cellbit is smarter when it comes to coming up with strategic plans, so he is the thinking mind of the Favela Five group, so if he no longer has the mind, he’s not capable of solving this whole problem, you know? But if I put myself in this position to help Cellbit so he can get the cure... You understand? It's better if I'm the bait. Right? I can't- I can't carry things alone guys, I've already lost Mike [...] if I lose Cellbit and I alone had to carry things, I won't be able to. But I think Cellbit can manage better. He is more independent, and he has Roier. He has a husband. I'm trying to– to be lucid here, understand? That's all.

Date: September 11, 2023 || Timestamp: 03:10:10

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

Thinking about New Years with my F/Os is so silly. I am really tempted to perhaps do a little headcannons post on how we'd probably spend New Years together with a good handful of them even though 95% of it will be mostly just same as any other day until midnight begins to creep up!

But I am doubly giggling thinking about it with my British F/Os Finn and Axlerod because I'm going to be like "Yeah, we don't have to do much! We can just watch the ball drop or something if we don't fall asleep and- hol. Hold on. That's in New York or something isn't it. Does UK cable TV televise that. Do they do something in London like how they have the big Christmas tree there. I'm sure someone will be illegally streaming it on YouTube or something anyway."

Assuming I MAKE it to midnight. My sleep schedule has been a little wonky this past day or so but that's because I haven't been giving myself my routine wind-down moment where I turn off all my lights and put my phone away(mostly, I will still check some notifications like texts or discord, maybe Tumblr) at like 8-8:30pm-ish and just watch TV. Typically a Jerma stream.